#incorrect fantastic beast quotes

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Newt: [petting a Graphorn]

Jacob: Uh... Whatcha got there?

Newt: *holds up a cup with a bendy straw* A smoothie.

[calimera62]

McGonagall: Describe your ideal partner.

Dumbledore: Intelligent, mischievous, high fashion clothes, lots of charisma, is very skilled in magic -

McGonagall: You’re just describing Gellert Grindelwald, aren’t you?

Dumbledore: … you have no proof

[Later that day]

Rosier: Describe your perfect partn-

Grindelwald: Albus Dumbledore

[chocolateforg]

Natty: Uh.

Natty: *Turns in full circle*

Natty: I think we lost Poppy.

MC: I've got this.

MC: *Cups hands around mouth*

MC: THE OCCAMIES ARE SAD.

Poppy, in the crowd: MUMMY'S HERE!

MC: Found her.

[milleeeeeee]

nicolas flamel has undoubtedly the best walk

i mean look at him go

GO LITTLE ROCKSTAR!

the man

the myth

the legend

[forbiddengalaxy]

Jacob: So how was the ‘big date’?

Newt: Good.

Jacob: Just good?

Newt: No, well Um it was amazing but-

Jacob: But what?

Newt: There was a moment- I think she was expecting me to kiss her- And I wanted to kiss her-

Jacob (getting more excited): Yeah?

Newt: I panicked and bowed

Jacob: You- Bowed?

Newt: It’s how Hippogriffs show they're of noble intentions.

Jacob (Gradually getting more worried):And how did Tina react to being bowed at?

Newt (grinning wider): She bowed back

[4theseus-s]

theseus, reading a recipe: beat three eggs?

jacob: it means like in hand-to-hand combat

theseus: ohhhh-

newt: both of you, get out of this kitchen

[the-herdier]

Newt, carrying a box: "What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with seven kittens one day?"

Jacob: ...

Jacob: "What's in the box?"

Newt: "What woul-"

Jacob: "Newt, what's in the box?"

Newt: "I think you know."

[exasperatedtinagoldstein]

Newt: Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders.

Tina: What the hell is a hufflepuff?

[in-myheartofhearts]

When your husband asks you out on a date...

... but suddenly he suggests divorce.

[rachaelswrites]

Scamander!reader: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad

(Quote from an incorrect quote generator)

[moondustinfj]

Gellert : NEWS FLASH ASSH*LE!! I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME!!

Albus : THEN WHY WOULDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING??!

Gellert : BECAUSE I HATEEEE YOUUU!!!

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Dumbledore: You can thank me later.

Newt: You haven't done anything yet...

Dumbledore: Which is why I can't accept your thanks right now.

[calimera62]

Albus Dumbledore: Would you still love me after death?

Gellert Grindelwald: You think that death can take you out of this relationship?

[thebootstrap-paradox]

Dumbledore: I hate you.

Grindelwald, in his head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words.

[forbiddengalaxy]

Tina: And if you see Newt give him this message

Tina: *makes a neutral face*

Tina : He’ll know what it means

(Later)

Jacob : Oh,and Tina said to give you this message

Jacob: *makes neutral face*

Newt: Oh no the neutral face of displeasure

[heres-the-harry-potter-tea]

Newt: I think I need a hug...

Theseus: Good thing I'm hug shaped!

*45 minutes later*

Newt: You... you can let go now.

Theseus: No, I absolutely cannot.