shadowsjoys

[shadowsjoys]

Send me good vibes to survive Mother’s Day lunch with my Christian parents 😬

[shadowsjoys]

Soul-diver, is it you I see when I look in the mirror? Spirit-searcher, is it your eyes that gaze back at me? Is it your dull kindness and familiar strange that feel so dysphoric and ugly and wrong? Do you beg to be seen?

[shadowsjoys]

Feeling depressed on a sunny day

Gorgeous sky, no sign of rain

Heavy mind pulls downward weight

Dysphoric, slow, and out of phase

Feeling the sun and its taunting warmth

Almost mad, but really sore

The world seems bright and happy—torn,

I feel it stab my lonely core

Feeling depressed on a sunny day

Gorgeous world, no sign of rain

Entrenched in darkness I remain

Reaching up and out, too far away

[shadowsjoys]

I have a partner of almost 3 years and I’m about to propose to them. We’ve never had sex, we’re never going to have sex, we don’t even have romantic attraction but we go on dates and have slept in the same bed and plan to spend the rest of our lives as partners.

Love without Sex

I’m doing a Philosophy paper on Asexuality. Please reblog if you think Love without Sex is possible! I really need the data. Like if you think love has to have sex.

[shadowsjoys]

The humming dryer

Reminds me of somewhere warm

Memories of home

[shadowsjoys]

I'm fruity

[shadowsjoys]

this will get to the right people

[shadowsjoys]

Sea*

[shadowsjoys]

We all have to experience this hubris. I have to go off my meds every once in a while because I go “it probably wasn’t that bad without my meds” and then it gets really fucking bad and I go “ah”

A few weeks ago I ran out of my antidepressants and I thought to myself: "let's see how long I can go without antidepressants" because I like challenging myself and I like doing difficult things

I cannot stress how bad this idea was. please do not be like me. I have gained nothing from this experience, I don't know what I was thinking I would gain. there is no glory in suffering

I should go take my meds

[shadowsjoys]

That has to count as relaxing, right?

I am going to do nothing for the rest of the day. this is my promise to you.

I have made a list of allowed activities:

• relaxing

• laying down

• sitting

• beatboxing (quietly to myself) (but I will keep it to a minimum)

[shadowsjoys]

I don’t show up in pictures

Cameras never show me right

I always end up hazy, blurred, or barely out of sight

Don’t try to find an album,

A scrapbook, or a frame

You’ll never find me in them, not one of them I claim

From day to day I’m foggy,

I’m in and out of view,

Sometimes people can see me, and others I’m see-through

I’m most there when I’m happy,

I’m less so when I frown

I’m utterly invisible when idly feeling down

I find they see me laughing,

When drawing, when I spin

On happy days, I’m vibrant; I’m vivid when I grin.

Maybe there’s something to it

How, lively, I appear

The moments I show brightest are the ones I most hold dear

I’ll strive to show up dazzling

I’ll push to shine most bright

I’ll laugh, and draw, and spin, and be a spectacle of light

I don’t show up in pictures

Cameras never show me right 

In action, I’m most vivid, most colorful and bright

I don’t show up in pictures

Cameras never show me right

You’ll only ever see me when I’m dancing in the light

[shadowsjoys]

The misogyny and disinformation are GOP default. The deception and manipulation are pure MAGA.

[shadowsjoys]

I'm giving you head pats and positive emotions with my mind

I am also giving you a cosmic brownie too because my mind is really powerful, and I can do stuff like this

[shadowsjoys]

Actually that is a feature

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

‎ ‎

‎‎‎‎‎

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎a bug ↘

‎ .

[shadowsjoys]

As a Reddit and twitter refugee, this is the shit I live for. This is why I moved. Don’t ever stop.

if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?

[shadowsjoys]

Me: I feel like shit maybe I should be working less

Society: you’re just being lazy, no pain no gain, pull yourself up by your bootstraps

Me: yeah you’re probably right

Me: *gets sick*

Me: *gets sick*

Me: *gets sick*

Me: *gets sick*

[shadowsjoys]

Sometimes a creative outlet is a fun little hobby and sometimes it's a lifelong affliction. Like I crochet because making little woven animals sparks joy and I'm a writer whether I like it or not because I'm tormented by visions