#& of course they r slowly falling in love etc make no mistake….

[rollercoasterwords]

“I’m sorry.”

The sink hisses, then stops. Now it’s Sirius’s turn to avoid eye contact, sinking back to the floor. The muggles had clean bandages in the medicine cabinet; he sets them next to his knees.

“What?” Remus asks.

Sirius takes his arm, carefully, and begins to wipe away the flecks of dried blood.

“I shouldn’t have left,” he says.

When he glances upwards, Lupin’s brow is furrowed, features twisted in confusion.

“I told you to.”

Sirius looks back down, concentrating on keeping his touch feather-light, barely-there. He shakes his head.

“I left you alone,” he says, “In that room—”

“Stop. Sirius, just…stop. You think…?”

Above him, Remus blows out a breath, a long, tired, sigh.

“That’s not…you had to.”

and remus KNOWSSSSS

he thinks sirius was apologising for remus loving him 😭😭😭

THEY MAKE ME SO ILL

they’re so so important 2 me

i’m so sorry but the love theory simply was not correct 😭 of course u are allowed 2 interpret it however u wish but in my mind what was going on internally in this scene is that r was avoiding s bc he was ashamed of turning & being unable 2 control it even tho he was also frustrated by that shame bc like…he knows it wasn’t his fault & there was something going on w the runes etc but. he still can’t help feeling ashamed 4 being a ‘monster’ & as he sort of talks abt it brought up these other feelings of times he hasn’t been able 2 ‘control’ himself which make him wonder whether ~society~ really could be right abt him etc….meanwhile s thinks r is upset that he ran off like a coward & left him alone. so when s apologizes r is like wait…u think i’m mad at u??

[don-quixotine]

hi i come bearing humanitarian relief from optygami

so like, yikes huh?

I didn't expect all the angst and that last scene absolutely DESTROYED me in the worst possible way. Anywhoo, I was so unwell that I dreamt a follow-up. This is a new level of brainrot. So, without further ado welcoome to another edition of

bullet point fics that i'll probably never write but I need to get out of my system: post-Optygami edition

After Optygami, Chat pretends he's ok but he's actually quite sad that Ladybug didn't need him to defeat the Akuma. Even more so, that instead of going for him, she went for Rena and Carapace.

lol Milk Bar scene 2.0.

He tries to hide it, but unlike other things that make him sad like oh idk, his entire family life, this is new. And he can't hide it because Ladybug was the one person that never failed to make him feel needed and wanted.

So, he's at school and he's looking sad and Marinette notices. She kicks into Supporting Friend Mode the way she's done with Zoé, Juleka etc. and asks him what's wrong. Adrien at first doesn't want to say, but Marinette gives her one of her Motivational Speeches™️ and convinces him.

Adrien says that it's hard to explain, but he feels like someone really loves is pushing him to the side and he feels like he is not needed anywhere.

Marinette will very much Not Have That

So she starts telling him all the good things she sees in him and how everyone, especially her, is lucky to have him around. And girl ain't even blushing or stuttering.

"Adrien you're always so kind and compassionate to everyone, you always make time for us even though your Father is so strict with you. You're always willing to give everyone the benefit of doubt, even when they don't deserve it. You're a great friend"

Adrien high key is tearing up btw

And my boy is so starved for affection that he's just. He falls for her immediately??? He never realized Marinette saw him like that??

He feels so acknowledged???????

also Nino sees and he reassures him as well.

"Whoever this friend is can go take a hike if they don't value you, dude. smh I'll throw hands for you."

appreciate the i r o n y

THEN...

Alya figures out Adrien is Chat Noir and she has that oh no moment. Without telling Mari why, she is ADAMANT that she tells Chat immediately about everything that has been going on with the guardianship.

"Trust me Marinette. Just trust me. You NEED to tell Chat about these things."

Marinette confesses she had not told him because she knows he's going to be very angry at her that she relied on someone else in her hour of need and she's scared she might lose him because lesser things have made him doubt himself to the point of returning the ring.

"Alya you don't understand," she says crying. "I know him. I know this is is going to hurt him so much."

Alya, out of curiosity, asks why she came to her and not Chat when things got too heavy and Marinette explains the incident in Chat Blanc and how absolutely scared to the bone she is that it might happen again. Not because she wouldn't be able to fix it, but because she couldn't bear seeing Chat being hurt like that again.

Eventually Marinette gathers the courage to tell Chat Noir and of course he's sad, heartbroken, angry and no matter how much Ladybug tries to apologize or reassure him that she trusts him, he simply can't.

Chat says he understands that she needed to lean on someone and it's her right to choose who that is.

"Don't worry m'lady, I understand. But... I need some time off. After all, something tells me you'll make do even if i'm not there."

BIG OUCH 😃

Marinette is devastated and recognizes her mistake and understands she is in no position to ask Chat to be there but that doesn't help the fact she's absolutely heartbroken.

As a civilian, Adrien notices Marinette is sad and talks to her. Mari cries bc she says she made a terrible mistake and she managed to really hurt one of the friends she loves the most and is scared she lost them for good.

Adrien consoles her and tells her she did the right thing by coming clean to them, and that she should have faith in her friend bc "friends fight sometimes Mari, it's normal, right? They will come around. You were honest with them, and that's what matters. They'll appreciate it eventually."

"Besides, e-even if they don't... I-i'll always be here for you"

"And if they don't, I'll personally go and punch your friend in the face"

aaaahhhh adrinette fluff.

And so, while ladynoir is crumbling to pieces, adrinette is like, VERY close to becoming canon but bc of what happened in ladynoir they refrain from showing their romantic feelings but are like, "No way I'm making the same mistakes again" so they become each other's closest confident (sans the whole Miraculous thing of course)

Adrien starts telling Mari about "this friend" and the problems in his family. Marinette start tellings him about "these responsibilities" and "this friend I have" and they unintentionally coach the other through how to proceed to heal the ladynoir partnership.

Simultaneously, Adrien's help lets Marinette understand how very much she loves Chat and him taking the break from Ladybug's company and replacing it with Marinette, lets him know how head over heels he had been for her all this time = tada! reverse love square.

They become super, super close friends. Like deadass ppl think they're dating (but what else is new smh)

"Ha ha, no. We're Just Very Good Friends™️" *they say as they're literally holding hands or snuggling on a bench*

Eventually Chat Noir comes out of his little break and Ladybug and him meet up to talk and it's like, an ugly crying sobfest ahaha :)

LB apologizes again and begs him to forgive her, she promises she'll do better and she'll show him how much she need him and--

"M'lady, stop. I already forgave you. It's all water under the bridge so--

"No! No it's not, because I can't believe I made you think you're dispensible. Chat Noir you're my partner and you'll always be my partner and I treated you like you weren't but I just... I couldn't tell you, Chaton. I couldn't--"

"But why? What couldn't you tell me, m'lady?"

LB breaks down and explains the Chat Blanc incident to him

"I was so scared. I was so afraid for you and so terrified that I wouldn't be able to bring you back. I'd never be able to forgive myself if one day I cannot bring you back, Chat. I want to know who you are but if knowing puts you at risk, then I won't do it. I love you more than I want to know your identity."

ajgkfahgfak gajfkk UGLY SOBBING.

"Then... that means we cannot be together... ever?" Chat asks and his voice is cracking because he's doing all humanly possible not to cry too.

"Not until Hawkmoth is defeated. I promise minou, as soon as we defeat him, we can be together. In the meantime, we have to keep the secret."

Chat Noir gently wipes off the tears from Ladybug and steps closer to her and goes "Then, m'lady, if you'll allow it, I'd like us to keep one more secret."

He leans down slowly, to give LB a chance to say no if she doesn't want it to happen, but she doesn't stop him. They kiss.

"This one stays between us," Chat mutters and then smirks at her. "See you in the next Akuma, m'lady."

The end.

[darling-i-read-it]

A-Z NSFW With Jareth

Jareth x reader

Warnings: straight smut 

Requested: by @undercanonthots ots, Omg I’ve just saw that you have open request for labyrinth characters 😭 I’m like the happiest person ever!! I know that I always ask for NSFW or SFW alphabets cause I have like 0 imagination to request, but may I ask you for the alphabets if you’re Ok with them? For Jareth please 🥺🥺🖤 (also sorry for my English mistakes!)

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

Author’s Note: I hope this is good love! I’m excited to get into Jareth, I’ve loved him since I was a little girl 

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Jareth is a King™ after sex. Like you need something he’s got it but also high maintenance and probably needs to do his hair a bit before getting it for you

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your hips. He worships your hips. He thinks that as long as his hands are on your hips he is doing life right

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum) 

Doesn’t like to get it in your hair. Like very annoyed if it does, so much so that he will tell you he’s annoyde 

D: Dirty Secret

He likes it when you stare at his bulge through his tights (because we all did it and you know it)

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) 

Doesn’t have that much sex in the Labrinth of course but SOMEHOW knows exactly what tf he’s doing like by far more experienced than you in every way

F: Favorite Position

He likes for you to be on top while he’s sitting against the headboard. He probably has a bomb supper big and extravegnet bed and the leaning against the headboard is probably the most regal thing he could think of

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Serious, serious, serious

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Extremely groomed and pretty bare down there. You know he knows how to do that hair 

I: Intimate (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Jareth is actually pretty intamte in the morning. He likes it when you say his name or vice versa and it’s something he will never be able to live down

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Jareth is the kind of guy who doesn’t do it unless you want to do it but also if by the off chance he’s horny there’s no way you’re going to refuse him

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)  

PraISE. Literally whispering to you about how good you are or telling you that you’re amazing and gorgeous and it really gets him going 

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom. It’s very kingly and the bed has curtains and shit. Anyone who would walk in would have to try hard through the sheer to see what was going on but the noise probably gives you away

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He likes it when you do things with your lips. Licking them, eating something like a popsicle, putting your finger on them etc

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn’t like hurting you. He’ll mark you if you please but something that might hurt you literally makes him want to gag

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)  

He really loves giving. It helps him as well as he watches you squirm underneath him. Gives him an extra sense of power

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Can be either depending on the day and his mood. Is very very good at both 

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Is like weirdly against quickies. He likes to have you slowly in front of him and likes to take his time  

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)  

If you want something he’s very likely to give it to you 

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc.)

A m a z i n g. Like deadly. Is this man human? Could go all day and a half     

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No toys. Much prefers his hands 

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Teasing is like the base of his soul. He likes to please you of course but not without a decent amount of making you beg for it 

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He likes it when you make a lot of noise but he himself doesn’t rise above a calm voice level

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

Many ripped tights are in your future and spoiler alert, they aren’t yours

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants) 

Imma bring it back to...we all saw that bulge

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not overpowering. He prefers making love almost so his sex drive isn’t through any roofs

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He usually waits for you to fall asleep and then him much after

[jawabear]

Maxwell Lord NSFW Alphabet

Not my GIF

A/N: Hi, here is my NSFW Alphabet for the shitbag Maxwell Lord. As with my other NSFW Alphabets, these are just what I put to the character so they may differ to what you think so please be respectful of other views of characters. Also, I was debating with myself whether or not to post this in light of what is happening in the world, but I thought maybe people would want to maybe want a little bit of light. By no way by me posting this am I trying to be disrespectful. So I hope you enjoy. Sorry for any mistakes :) Stay safe

Genre: Smut

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of sex, just usual Maxwell filth, Pedro Pascal comes with his own warning

Summary: An A-Z of Maxwell Lord’s bedroom antics

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Max defiantly isn’t the best at aftercare. He kind of just lets you deal with yourself. But bless him he tries. Awkwardly asking if you are okay or if you need anything. But you know he’s only going it because he doesn’t know what else to do, so you have to help him by snuggling into his side for him to hold you whilst you fall asleep. And this is at night.

During the day, after the much loved office sex, he’s even more awkward. Clearing his throat and sorting himself out while you’re still there panting and shaking. But you’ve gotten used to it. Knowing that he’s not great at it so you have to do it yourself, but he’s trying to get better. But he’s not really the person for it.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your legs. Goddess like legs as he calls them. He makes love to your legs, he worships them. When he has you tied to his bed he literally worships them. His hands running over your skin in a feather light touch, placing kisses all over them. Making them shake in desperation for his touch somewhere else. And he loves to watch as you press your thighs together into order to suppress the wetness between your legs. And he loves your ass. He loves to grab at it and slap it when he takes you from behind.

On him, he’s fond of his hands. They are big and are able to grab large handfuls of your ass.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Maxwell will come anywhere. In you, on you, wherever. He especially loves to come on your chest or your ass. He loves to see you covered in him, showing your submissive nature to him but allowing himself to paint your precious body with his come.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I don’t really think Max has any dirty secrets. He’s very open about sexual fantasies etc. If he wants to do something he’ll tell you. But one may be that he did once get off while smelling a pair of your panties...

You were away and he was desperate, and they were just there...he couldn’t help himself.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

This is Maxwell Lord we’re talking about. He is very much experienced when it comes to pleasuring women. He knows his way around the body. Touching you in places that you didn’t even know excited you.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Taking you from behind. Not necessarily in the ass, but just having you bent over his desk, seeing you ready for him just does stuff to him. He loves your ass, he loves to grab it while he fucks and he loves to see it go red from it. But this is mainly only during the day.

In the mornings, Max is a little more soft. A side of him he shows no one other than you. Slow missionary sex. Because he loves to kiss you and he loves when your fingers entangle into his hair when he rolls his hips into you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Max doesn’t fuck around when it comes to sex. Oh okay, maybe that wasn’t the best way to phrase that.

What I mean is, he takes it very seriously. Max doesn’t like to play around at all. He’s a business man, probably never had actual fun in his life. So when it comes to sex, he is the same. It’s serious business to Max.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Like everything else in his life, his hair down there has to be perfect. Prim and proper to put it better

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Unless it’s early in the morning, he’s not all that intimate. It’s kind of just like, sex and then parting ways until you both return home. Even then it’s more sex.

But early in the morning, he will be a little more loving towards you, caressing your sweet skin while he fucks you slowly. He will refuse to remove his lips from your while he takes you, he just need that little bit of softness in the morning, also that a reassurance that you still love him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Max doesn’t necessarily need to get himself off when he has you. You’re usually more then willing to allow him to use you.

But on the rare occasion you aren’t there for him, he’ll do it himself. He’ll probably get himself off more time then what he would have sex with you. The frustration of not having you to fuck just makes him get off so much during those lonely days and lonely nights.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

(I have to be honest, I’m not well educated in the world of kinks so I did a bit of research and my god there are some...things out there..)

Maxwell Lord is a kinky piece of shit. Probably has every kink in the book to be honest. Obviously, the daddy kink. Man is the daddies daddy...

Definitely has a voyeurism/exhibitionist kink. Fucking loved to watch you get off in his office, and he loves to take you over his desk, keeping the door unlocked so anyone could walk in and see how much of a mess you get for him (but he knows no one will, anyone who ever came to his door was scheduled down to the second). Definitely sadist, he loves to spank you. Like he is just a filthy man.

Definitely bondage of some kind. Having you ties up and blindfolded is just his heaven. So submissive and ready for him to use you in any way his wants (with in your stated limits of course)

There’s just a long list of kinks that Max has...I don’t even think he could name them all.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He loved to do it in his office. The thrill of getting caught just makes him crazy and he loves the face he can just bend you over his desk, having your naked body pressed up against the place he sits at every single day, looking at it, remembering the sweet noises that fall from you mouth as he fucks your into oblivion.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Just everything. Just seeing you makes him hard, the thought of you makes him hard. Seeing you in a short skirt that showcases those goddess like legs of yours, or when he gets home, having you sat on his bed dresses in his favourite set of lingerie.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

As twisted and kinky as Max is, he does have limits, believe it or not. Maxwell Lord does not share for starters, he earned you fair and square, so that means no threesomes. Plus he doesn’t really find the idea of another guy or girl touching you attractive. You are for him only.

And of course, you are a precious goddess to him. So he would never hurt you. He would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. And humiliation, he wouldn’t do anything to outwardly put you in the spotlight sexually. For one he knows of your self conscious nature and two, you are for his eyes only.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Max is a sucker for you going down on him. He loves it. Can’t get enough of it. He especially when he has to hide you under his desk when someone walks in. It amazes you how he can stay so composed while you’re sucking him off.

You knew that if you were in his position, you would be a stuttering mess. Max’s has a talented and twisted tongue and he likes to use it where he can.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

I think Max would be hard and fast. This man fucks. Only making love to you in the mornings, which is why they are so special to you. He is definitely one who goes hard, go big or go home I guess.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

All. The damn. Time.

Max thrives on these. A quick fuck in his office or dragging you into the bathroom. Or even better, pulling you aside at a gala or something and fucking you there, preferably against a wall.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Yes. Maxwell is happy to do almost anything. And he is also very open with things he doesn’t like. Which is good, because we should all be open about things like that.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

This man can go forever to be honest. He never seems to get tiered, you could fuck at midnight and he’ll still be raring to go.

Obviously he’ll stop when you tell him to, but to be fair, he could fuck you until the end of time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Max isn’t all that adventurous when it comes to toys. Most people would think he has some sort of sex dungeon in his house, but they would be wrong. If blindfolds and ropes count then he’s got plenty, silk of course, even his sex life has to be expensive.

As far as any other toys go, he’s pretty empty. He’s overly fond of watching you use your trusty vibration on yourself. He’s half tempted to use it on himself, he sees how good it makes you feel so he wonders what it would feel like on him, buts he’s a little embarrassed to ask.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Mr Lord is the definition of tease. He’ll call your desk so you can listen to his moans as he gets off, knowing it’s turning you on but also knowing you’re surrounded by others so you can’t do anything other then listen to the sweet and low grunts that leave his lips.

And if you’re both in a meeting, you bet your ass his hand is going to be at you under the table, teasing you through your panties before slipping inside them. He loves to get you all riled up because he likes when your sexually frustrated. You go crazy and he loves it.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Maxwell has a big mouth, he likes to use it. He never fucking shuts up when he’s fucking you. He’s so loud.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

As mentioned, Max would love to use your vibrator on himself. In fact, he would love for you to just ruin him as he has you so many times. He wants to know how it feels to be ruined by someone, and he wants that someone to be you. But he has to much ducking pride and won’t allow himself to tell you this. But he has dreamed night after night if you edging him until he is literally in his knees begging for you to let him come or for you to at least touch him, only for you to shake your head no.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s thick, I’ll give you that. Average in length but he’s thicker than most. Excellent for stretching you out, and he’s very proud of that.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty damn high. The frustration of his work just makes him need to get it out. So his sex drive is definitely up there.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Max isn’t one to fall asleep all that quickly after sex. His mind is constantly going, thinking over the day after, all the business meetings he’ll have to go to and all the boring talk he’ll have to endure. And he likes to watch you sleep, especially after sex, your face twisted with pleasure, no doubt dreaming of him. 

Masterlist

01/06/20

[cromulentbookreview]

I See What You Did There

What’s two plus two?

Huh? What? What’s happening?

What’s two plus two?

Oh, shit, right, I have a book review blog, don’t I? I mean, things have been a bit hectic these past few months and I’m also trying to be a real writer...

What’s two plus two?

Yeah, you’re right, I shouldn’t neglect my tumblr, even if nobody reads it. And come on, computer, it’s not like I’ve been in a coma for four years, two plus two is clearly five and we all love Big Brother, OK? Gah.

Uhhh...And by that, I mean: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir!

Dr. Ryland Grace wakes up in a spaceship with no memory of how or why he’s there. He’s a junior high school science teacher, what the hell is he doing on a spaceship? Also, the other two astronauts are dead. Like, really dead. So far as how things are going for Dr. Grace right now, I’ll let Pete Campbell give you a hint:

Slowly, veeeery slowly, Grace’s memory starts to come back to him: he’s on a mission to save the Earth. There’s this nasty space bacteria-thingy called Astrophage that’s dimming the light of Mr. Burns’s archnemesis: the Sun.

There’s a lot of science involved, but Weir explains, in great detail, just how Astrophage dims the Sun and why that’s really, really, really, really bad for the Earth. Like, apocalyptic-bad. Billions will die bad. Famine, disease, war, rocks fall, everyone dies and freezes to death bad. Only not right away. Over the course of several years. So everyone will die, but they’ll get to do it real slowly. 

Yay?

Like so, but it ends with everybody dead and the Earth being rendered uninhabitable. All of Grace’s wee little students will grow up watching their Earth slowly die. Unless Project Hail Mary finds a solution. And there seems to be a solution out there - Tau Ceti seems to be the only star not infected with Astrophage. Why? How? What? So this all powerful woman called Stratt, who has been given authority by just about everyone (how? Reasons. Don’t ask questions) yanks Grace out of his classroom - first to study Astrophage, and then, somehow, he can’t remember exactly, roped him into going on a dozen-light-year journey to Tau Ceti with the crew of the Hail Mary.

Only the rest of the crew is dead. Something went wrong while they were in a coma during their four-year space voyage. Grace is alone.

Inside the Hail Mary.

Full of a dude called Grace.

I see what you did there, Weir. Don’t think I didn’t see what you did there. I mean, you don’t even have to be Catholic to see what you did there.

Anyway, long-winded flashbacks and lots of science ensues. I struggled with the first quarter of the book - not for any particular reason other than I started reading this book in the latter half of 2020 and I was having a hell of a time concentrating on...well, everything. Remember 2020? Yeah, it wasn’t great. I mean, I’d need a lot of “not great, Bob!” gifs to describe just how bad those last few months of 2020 were.

And then I thought 2021 would be better. Ahahaha we barely made it six days. Seriously, everything is terrible and how do I even concentrate on a dumb book blog let alone a book all about science and the Earth slowly dying because the sun is dimming and -

Soon enough, however, Grace spots something on the Hail Mary’s radar. It’s...another spaceship? All the way out by Tau Ceti? At first, Grace thinks maybe its another ship from Earth, like a backup plan, that’d make sense, right? Only it’s not.

Who could it be?

Aliens?

Yeah, it’s aliens.

Our friend Grace gets to be the dude to make first contact with the sentient, spider-like creatures of the first planet in the system 40 Eridani. Turns out 40 Eridani is also infected with Astrophage, which is causing all sorts of problems for the Eridians, and their ship just happened to be around Tau Ceti at the exact same time as the Hail Mary. Crazy, right? Anyway, after the initial first contact and the long, drawn-out process of learning to communicate with one another (with no help from Amy Adams or Jeremy Renner), Grace and the lone Eridian, whom Grace christens Rocky, team up to save their respective worlds.

Science and plenty of flashbacks ensue.

I’m not a scientist - well, I have a master’s degree in library and information science, which, I guess, is a science? I mean, uh...I could tell you where all the sciency books are in the library. 500s if you’re using Dewey, and if you’re using Library of Congress, it will depend on what you’re looking for - you’ll want to start with Q for general sciences, QA for math books, QB and QC for astronomy and physics, QE, GC, GB, QC, TN for earth sciences, QD, TN, TP, and TR for chemical sciences, GE and bits of GF, QE, QH, QC, and TD for environmental sciences, QH, QK, QL, QM, QP, and QR for life sciences, QA75-76.9, TK5101-TK6720, TK7800-TK7895, and Q334-Q390 for computer sciences, telecommunication and artificial intelligence, Q, R, S, and T for the history of sciences and if you’re looking for bibliographies and finding aids for topics in the sciences, look under Z.

You know. Science.

OK, so I may not be a scientist. I may be bad at math because numbers somehow magically switch themselves around on paper whenever I look at them. Why? Because my brain sucks, that’s why. I may have spent most of my chemistry classes reading YA books under my desk (worth it!). I may have only passed high school physics by cheating off a girl younger than I was, but hey, the joke was on me: my high school physics teacher wasn’t even qualified to teach physics.

Gotta love rural public schools.

My point is, while the science may be lost on me and my brain which is full mostly of Simpsons quotes rather than actual knowledge, I do loves me a fun story where Science (with a capital S) saves the day. And, make no mistake, this book is fun. You might get a bit bogged down by the science, but once you get past it, this is a highly enjoyable story of one dangerously unqualified guy desperately trying to save the world with his new BFF, alien spider guy who speaks in musical notes. It’s up to them and them alone. Good luck, guys! Don’t forget that billions upon billions of lives depend on you. No pressure.

Seriously, if you loved The Martian, you’ll love Project Hail Mary. They’re similar, but Hail Mary is on a much larger scale than The Martian - there’s a lot more at stake in the hands of one guy. Plus: aliens!

Without spoiling anything, I’ll just say I would have loved more from the ending. I would’ve loved an epilogue from some of the other character’s perspectives or something. I mean, I could even go with a sequel! Maybe something where Erid and Earth are finally able to communicate? There’s a lot of potential for short stories or novellas set in the same world as Project Hail Mary - there’s got to be bonus material there and I want it. More, please? That’d be nice. I’d definitely read it. So... Hop to it, Weir!

One last complaint: Grace doesn’t swear. Like, at all. Meanwhile, Mark Watney is over here like

Come on, Grace, would it kill you to say “fuck” or “shit” every now and again? I mean, I sipped coffee that was too hot and let out a bunch of words that’d make a 19th century whaler blush. Geez.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Fans of The Martian, science-y people, people who enjoy a heavy dose of science in their sci-fi, people who just want a fun story

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: People with no mind for science, people who are against fun, anyone who doesn’t like sci-fi, aliens, fun, etc.

RATING: 4/5

ALIEN RATING:

RELEASE DATE: May 4, 2021 (HEY! Don’t think I didn’t see what you did there, too, Ballantine Books!)

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR SPINOFFS / SEQUELS / BONUS MATERIAL OF ANY KIND: Olympus Mons.

DID I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE?

[its-bound-to-get-loud]

Why I believe 5SOS didn’t work as a pop-punk band (+ my opinion on THAT Rolling Stone article)

This title of this post may be an unpopular opinion for a lot of you. But I don’t believe 5SOS worked as a pop-punk band. In this post I will explain exactly why. I hope that even if you don’t agree, you will at least understand my POV. This post is probably gonna have a lot of text. Not a lot of links, videos or pictures involved. I hope it will still be interesting for you. All of this is just my personal opinion, I have no way of proving that this is 100% true. It’s just a careful deduction of things I’ve seen and thought about over the last few months, mixed with some personal opinions. With this post I’m trying to tackle some topics that are being talked about often and showing them in a different light. I’ve put quite a lot of time into writing this, so I’m hoping you will appreciate it. Finally a huge, massive thank you to my friend R for proofreading this, it means a lot to me.

To start things off, I’ve had quite a lot of thoughts about this topic: I don’t think 5SOS truly worked as a pop-punk band. The image didn’t fit them and it wasn’t right for their era. It was a fun sound, I enjoy listening to it, they probably even enjoyed making it. Obviously fans enjoyed it as well. I fully believe that when they first started, pop-punk is what the guys wanted to sound like. It’s the music they listened to, those were the bands they looked up to. When they got signed they had not been a band for a super long time, they were young and barely had any experience in both life and music. I’m not someone with an extensive knowledge of pop-punk groups, but from what I know a lot of these bands were misfits, outcasts. People who didn’t feel like they had a place in society. In some cases from broken homes, with bad childhoods, etc. That’s who they were and it’s what their music was about.

I’d say 5SOS as whole do fit those characteristics. They were from a small town where music wasn’t really a career for most people. So they felt the need to get out of their town and pursue music. Michael dropped out of school for music, Ashton obviously had a very difficult home situation. Calum has mentioned that his family didn’t have a lot of money when he was younger. I’m not sure how the situation was for the others. But besides this, everyone but Ashton came from a stable home, Calum’s parents separated later on. So I can see why the guys related to these pop punk bands put out songs about this. Especially when you’re a teenager you often feel misunderstood by everyone else.

But when 5SOS started they looked more like a boyband than a pop punk band. Their earliest songs were mostly love songs. While the boys might have felt like being a pop punk band, and maybe even considered themselves to be one, I would say they were more of a pop/pop rock band.

In some cases a label can mold an artist or band into a certain image upon signing. But 5SOS had already gathered a following before they were even signed, so molding them into a rougher pop-punk image right upon signing would not have worked, it would not have been organic. They probably didn’t want to alienate the fans they already had, because they were valuable in getting the word out about 5SOS.

Their first manager, Adam Wilkinson, didn’t seem to think 5SOS would work as a pop-punk band as well. Just look at these quotes taken from That infamous 2015 Rolling Stone article (I will not link it, because I despise it, just google if you feel the need to read it).

“While they cannot cross into the realm of pop punk, they can stand on the sidelines and capture the end of that market.”

“They always wanted to be Blink 182 or Good Charlotte, but I’ll be the first to admit I thought that was shooting too far,” says Wilkinson. “We tried to make them a little more pop.”

That last quote is basically what happened. 5SOS ended up connected to One Direction, a huge pop act at the time. A connection that wasn’t as much of a “coincidence” as they wanted to make it look like. Louis was never the one to truly discover 5SOS, this was simply a smart PR decision to connect 5SOS to the 1D fanbase and grow their audience. I highly suggest reading this post that lays out exactly how 5SOS came to get signed and how their connection to 1D began. You will see that there is clear evidence that it didn’t happen like they wanted us to believe.

And let’s be real. Take a look at this early 5SOS picture. Does this look like the next Green Day or All Time Low? They all look like the boy next door, with maybe the exception of Michael. Basically they had the looks of a boyband, and while they never have been a traditional boyband (and certainly aren’t now), they certainly were marketed as one early on. This is a label that still sticks to them to this day.

I fully believe that their team (management/record label) tried to slowly evolve them into a more pop-punk image as they got bigger. They couldn’t ride the 1D train forever and had to stand on their own 2 feet. That’s where we arrive at the Sounds Good Feels Good era. This is a fascinating era for me, because there is a shift. Their looks start changing, suddenly they slowly become rockstars, piercings start happening. The boys are growing up. They are old enough to drink, girls are in the picture, etc. Musically it’s also clear that their sound is changing. The self-titled album is still fairly pop-rock, 1D but a little edgier perhaps. Sounds Good Feels Good is the more pop-punk album. But is it really? Because as most fans will know, the album knows 2 sounds. It has the clear pop-punk bops, such as Money or Safety Pin (to name a few), but there’s also some songs that already predict the sound for Youngblood such as, for example, Waste The Night and Vapor. It’s clear to me that while they probably still enjoyed their pop-punk sound the guys were growing up and were slowly discovering what music their sound as a band should be.

If we’re being honest for a moment. What songs from SGFG really feel the most personal? Sure, She’s Kinda Hot is a bop, but what about Vapor? Vapor is by far my favorite song on the album, it tells me a story, it makes me feel emotion. Now I’m very biased towards SKH, because (unpopular opinion) I don’t like the song much because of the lyrics. But that’s a different story (we may get to that someday). There is nothing wrong with a song that’s a bop, you need those. I could enjoy SKH if it wasn’t for the lyrics. But bops can have meaning too. SKH doesn’t in my opinion. Besides the fact that the guys were growing up and maturing their sound, the music scene just wasn’t very pop-punk or even rock based anymore. It wasn’t a sound that was popular anymore.

I took a look at the billboard charts and pulled some statistics. Friday October 23 was the release date for SGFG. The Top 3 Billboard hot 100 songs that week were

The Weeknd – The Hills

Drake – Hotline Bling

Justin Bieber – What Do You Mean?

The songs/artists closest to 5SOS in sound in the WHOLE Billboard Hot 100 that week were One Direction – Drag Me Down, Fall Out Boy – Uma Thurman and Twenty One Pilots – Stressed Out. That’s 3 songs in a list of 100 songs and you can debate how close the sound of those actually was to the sound of 5SOS at the time.

Taking a look at the Billboard 200 Year-End chart, the #1 is Taylor Swift – 1989. SGFG ended up at #136 (keep in mind that the album was released in October, so close to the end of the year). 5SOS self-titled ended up at #73. The LIVESOS album ranked #176. There’s a few other records that can be considered rock in the list, but barely any pop-punk in the whole chart. The only one to be considered for that title would be Fall Out Boy’s – American Beauty/American Psycho album, which was #15.

Pop-punk or rock in general, wasn’t a popular sound that topped the charts around the time 5SOS got started as a mainstream act. Number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 the week 5SOS released their first ep (Unplugged) was Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen. The real mainstream success of pop-punk was mostly in the late 90’s running all the way through the early 2000’s. This is why I wonder why the label tried to make them into a pop-punk band in the first place. My best guess is that their team relied on the fans to push the success of the band forward after they came off of 1D’s Where We Are tour. They might have tried to create an edgier version of 1D with similar success. Where you create a fan base that is big enough to support the band without the need of casual listeners or fans from different demographics (male, female, old, young, etc.).

I think they relied too much on 1D fans to gravitate towards 5SOS as well, which may have been a mistake. Not all 1D fans actually liked 5SOS, some even actively stayed away from them the more they were pushed under their noses. When I entered the 1D fandom in 2014 most things I saw about 5SOS were negative. 1D fans considered them problematic and didn’t like them. This is partially why I steered away from 5SOS at the time. Besides that, I had enough going on with 1D to keep me occupied. Of course 5SOS’s fan base still grew quite a bit from the 1D exposure, but they never got to the same heights as 1D did. In several interviews the guys have said that they were being called “the biggest band that nobody has ever heard of”.

On a more personal note. As a recent fan, the whole pop-punk image never felt very genuine to me. Which might be because I came into the fandom backwards, starting with CALM and going back to their older material after that (side note: I did listen to the Youngblood album once or twice before). Don’t get me wrong, I love SGFG, I play it regularly. Money is a banger, Hey Everybody!, a bop, Permanent Vacation, love it! But as a fan I like to identify with songs and recognize that the artist is telling something that is personal to them. I don’t get that feeling from some of these songs. 

An example of a song that is emotional, yet (mostly) not personal to the band is Broken Home. It’s a beautiful song, but I generally skip it. 1, because it’s a very sad song and it’s not always something I’m in the mood for. 2, because it’s not a song I relate to on a personal level. And most importantly 3, I don’t see the song relating to 5SOS as people, other than maybe Ashton. An interesting quote about the song, made by their producer John Feldman, is on the genius page for this song.

“Other than Ashton, the three guys have parents who are still together. Ashton has never met his father. Ashton really connected into the theme. “We’re saying something with this song, it’s going to connect with the audience, at least 50% of our audience comes from broken homes. We’re actually taking a stand.” The other guys are loyal and family-driven and sweet, so they were like, “What are our parents going to think about us singing about a broken home when we don’t come from broken homes? How authentic is it?” It was a two-month debate.”

So the guys themselves were already questioning the authenticity of the topic when they were recording it. Ashton connected to the theme of the song, but the others didn’t. It wasn’t something they had experienced. It doesn’t say why the song made it on the album anyway. As stated in the quote, a lot fans can relate to it. I’m sure many fans found comfort in the song, which is a nice thing. The song doesn’t make you relate to the band though. If any of them had written this song from a personal experience it would have connected a lot differently. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that the song is not personal, it just doesn’t feel very genuine when you know the artist has no relation to the story they are telling.

Moving on to the 2015 Rolling Stone article I have mentioned before. This seems to cause some division among fans. Was it all true or was it made up? My opinion is that it’s a mixture of truth and BS. But a whole lot of it feels taken out context or exaggerated. I have been a fan since March, so I wasn’t around at the time this came out. But since becoming a fan I have watched tons of interviews and clips and have extensively discussed this band with my friend, so I’d like to say I have done my homework and have a good picture of this band. On top of that I’d like to think being a 1D fan sharpened my critical thinking skills and might have helped me see through certain bullshit. I don’t claim to be the person with all the answers, but maybe my thoughts make sense to some people. There might be some context that I’m missing or facts that I haven’t come across, if you feel like there’s a piece of information I’m missing, feel free to let me know.

The way the article starts, it reads like fanfiction. Literally. The extensive description of the surroundings, the time of day, everything. The first time I read it, it made me cringe so hard I had trouble getting through the whole thing. First things first. This interview takes place the day after the AMA’s. Who the fuck scheduled this? Either someone should have prevented them from getting drunk and partying, or they should have scheduled this on another day when these guys were in a better state of mind. That is, assuming things went the way they went as described in the article. Which is something I highly doubt.

The only direct source saying that this article is not genuine is this tweet from Luke. Besides that I have only read secondhand that the band and people surrounding them have spoken up about the inaccuracy of the article.

Some people believe 5SOS could have sued Rolling Stone for slander if this article was really as false as they claim. Now I’m no lawyer, but this is not how things work in the entertainment industry. An article like this has been agreed upon before. The interviewer didn’t just decide to drop by one day. During celebrity interviews there’s always someone from their management or PR team around to make sure they don’t say any stupid shit. Celebrities are a brand, they have an image to protect, albums to sell. If they say things that make them look bad it can cause damage to their good name. Record companies have invested money in artists and they want to see a profit in return. They don’t want to risk losing money, that’s why celebrities have PR teams. RS may have had a reputation for being a very honorable publication, but these days that’s not the case. They are not that far removed from cheap gossip rags such as the Sun or The Daily Mail nowadays. They still get read by a lot of people, which puts them in a position of power. Often when an interview takes place there are certain topics that have been agreed upon before, there are also topics that can be blacklisted if the artist or their team doesn’t want them talked about. For example relationships or family matters. These will also be agreed upon beforehand.

Here is a story about a former journalist for the British tabloid The Daily Star, who has admitted to making up stories and explains how they get away with it.

For arguments sake, let’s say the guys slipped up and showed their “true colors”. With a big publication like this it’s common that their team would have to approve the article before it comes out. If there’s anything in there that was not agreed upon that they don’t like, the article can be edited.

This leaves us a few possibilities.

The article is completely true and their team is shit at their job. They failed to prevent the boys from slipping up about stuff they shouldn’t and did nothing to stop Rolling Stone from publishing.

The article is true and their team just allowed the article to be published for whatever reason.

The article isn’t true, but their team let it happen anyway, possibly because they wanted to move the band away from their boyband image into a more punk-rock image that went with their sound.

My vote goes out to the last one. I think their team wanted to make the boys look more edgy/punk-rock and get rid of their boyband image and this is how they tried to do it. I think parts of the article may be true, but a lot of it is greatly exaggerated and in some cases made up. If my theory is true, it also means 5SOS or their team had no reason to sue Rolling Stone if they wanted to. Because it would mean you have a major publication on your bad side, which means no more future promotional opportunities for the band and/or the label. While Rolling Stone may be trash, it’s a publication that a lot of people read. Therefore it’s a very important connection that you don’t want on your bad side.

If you still think they could have sued Rolling Stone then take a look at some examples from 1D. 1D has been targeted by the British tabloid The Sun for YEARS. They wrote the most awful shit, a lot of it not true. Yet they still had exclusive scoops whenever something important happened. Exclusive meaning, these topics were given to them exclusively for publishing. It was proven that their PR manager is friends with the journalist from The Sun responsible for most of the stuff written. 1D never sued The Sun for those articles, because they most likely were agreed upon by their team beforehand. 1D has never tried suing the Sun over anything, despite what they wrote. This was not 1 article, these were many articles. Especially towards the end of 1D, when it was clear their label was losing 1D, there was a smear campaign in the media to discredit 1D and its members. There was a chance some members were going to sign with a competing label, and that’s something their label didn’t like. Here is a good collection of headlines from that smear campaign. Nobody ever got sued over these articles.

Do you still think 5SOS could have just stood up and sued Rolling Stone? The entertainment business is full of politics. If you don’t play the game you’re out. Also, question yourself. Why does Luke still say the article was twisted and inaccurate 4,5 years later? He has owned up and apologized for past mistakes, yet he keeps insisting the article didn’t tell the truth. He even goes to say that the article “broke and hurt him”. If you believe Luke is still covering his ass for what he said in that article, that essentially would he mean he is emotionally manipulating people by saying the article hurt him. Is that the person you think Luke is?

1 more thing I want to point out. Yes, I am aware of the fact that Calum has a large version of the magazine cover hanging around in his house. I can’t say exactly why. This is my best guess. That cover was still a big thing in their career, despite the article, it is still a Rolling Stone cover. That’s a milestone that not every artist gets to do in their career. Just because he has the cover hanging around doesn’t mean he enjoyed the article that came with it.

This whole post has gotten super long, it may not be the easiest thing to get through. So thank you if you made it till the end. As stated before, this whole thing is mostly just my opinion. But the parts about how PR teams work are a fact. I do not work in the music or entertainment industry, I’m not a lawyer, so I may have gotten some things wrong. If I did, please let me know and I will try to fix it. Feedback is always appreciated.

[leo-interactive-fiction]

Would you give us a little snippet of how the RO's will behave on their other paths ? Like for example E on the Bad Influence path, etc. Just little snippets ? Pretty please 🥺 The wait is killing me 😂

Haha, I suppose I can tease a liiitle, since it may be a bit till they come to full fruition :)

Good Influence E: They hold a determined expression as they stand defensively between you and the aggressor. "I won't let you fight! I'll protect everything I love!"

Bad Influence E: The dust settles on E's clenched fist as the figure before them topples to the ground. Their gaze rests on them before moving to you, "I'm strong…I won't hesitate anymore. I'll do whatever I need to if it means making the world a better place."

Gambling R: The glass shatters as R forces their way through it and into the open air. They turn back in mid air, giving a mocking salute before plummeting downwards, disappearing from view. Luckily, a pile of soft trash was able to catch their fall, and they hold up the shiny piece of jewelry to their face, a sly smirk rising from their expression, "I'm sure they'll be missing this, but oh well. Takers keepers."

Restitution R: The charismatic expression R wears vanishes instantly as they turn away from the conversation, replaced by a contented grin as they walk away, "Like making a songbird sing."

Confident L: L steps close to their harasser, taking their wrist and turning slightly. In a deliberate practiced motion, they use their center of gravity to flip the harasser over their shoulder and slam them onto the ground. Panting from the exertion, L gathers their things, "I…I said no! You're disrespectful and reprehensible in every way! Please leave me alone!"

Forgiveness L: L witnesses a male student harassing a female and keeping a book of hers just out of reach. Smoothly, L plucks the book out of the boys hands and hands it to the girl, a gentle smile on their face, "It's much easier to dislike those who slight you, but I think knowing them better can open up new possibilities. I see…a loving relationship between the two of you in the future."

Soldier V: The sound of a slow exhale leads to silence as a hollow gray eye stares through magnified glass. A dead silence as the trigger is gently squeezed, leading to a piercing scream. The wind rolls over the prone body lightly as V scratches another mark on their rifle with a knife. "Target Eliminated."

Civilian V: The wind whips past V, toying with their clothes and hair as the sun reflects a kaleidoscopic array of colors off of nearby clouds and atmospheric particulates, causing their eyes to widen. "This is…freedom?"

Competitive P: Uncontrollable flames lick the ground beneath P's feet as they gather themselves, a blazing crimson burning in their eyes, "You created this demon, and now you'll cower in its wake! I'll send every last one of you to Hell!"

Cooperative P: A thin circle of flame tames the ground around P as they look out determinedly, set a step ahead of those they care for. "A leader treads first through the path of greatest danger, so those behind them can walk in safety. Now you'll see I no longer fight for myself. I can't lose."

Masochistic M: They step just out of reach of the blade, laughing lightly as they intentionally let the edge bite slightly into the skin. "As much fun…as this is…you're first mistake was thinking…I mind getting a little…bruised…"

Alternative M: A misty breath emits from M's mouth as they slowly gather themselves and enter an alert stance, "I won't allow myself to be…dependent any longer…It's my turn now…!"

Insanity Ra: A creaky laughter echoes down the narrow passageways of the alley, the source unable to be determined from the intensive darkness. In the distance, a faint caw signals the arrival of the carrion bird. The shrill laughter grows louder until suddenly stopping. The Raven's cry grows louder as it circles above. "It calls to me, this siren song. Do you hear it too? Of course you do. Fate is inevitable; inescapable. And so am I."

Therapy Ra: Raven bites their tongue lightly to curb the curving smile spreading across their face, a seemingly inescapable habit they have a hard time breaking as they treat the bruised knee of a child. Upon finding out the child was pushed down by another and asked what they should do, Raven hums slightly, "There's unkindness everywhere you go, but there's also many who are kind. Find someone who will extend their hand out to you when you're on the ground. I think at the darkest of everyone's hour, there is always a fateful light. It's up to each person whether or not they'll extend their own hand towards it."

Speed Demon S: The sandstorm engulfs everything, following close behind a rapidly turning rear wheel as it digs greedily into the ground. The bike flashes across the landscape, creating vacuumous whiplash to nearby objects . Almost as quickly as it travels, the bike stops. The sandstorm halts its progress, dissipating slowly and leaving only a slight dust devil around the driver, who leans against the bike casually. "Courier service."

Trouble Maker S: The blinding white spotlight causes S to wince and hold a hand up to their face. A surprised laugh escapes them as they count several enforcement transport vehicles blocking their routes forward. S smiles casually as the wind picks up, carrying with it a plethora of dust and sand. "I enjoy a good welcomin' party, but I can't say all the guests were welcome. Rain check?"

Royalty F: The sharp snapping of a pair of fingers causes the entire room to quiet, and all eyes to turn to the predatorial smile that stretches across F's face as they sit crossedly in their seat, "Perhaps you were unaware. This is my domain. As soon as you entered here, your very life has become my property. You will witness now: the claim to this throne bares no falsities."

Commoner F: Light breaks through the canopy of vegetation in thin beams, creating a scattering of white across the dried leaves and mossened earth that mark the forest floor. A single leg drapes itself over the edge of a branch as F sits silently in the tree's embrace. They listen intently as the leaves surrounding them are disturbed by numerous ill-intended footfalls. "You pluck selfishly the fruit of other people's labor. You claw ravenously at the possibility of death, the scent of the hunt stark upon you. Come now, Beasts. A Hunter awaits."

[rogerina-yee-haw]

Joe Mazzello - NSFW Alphabet

a/n: I'm dedicating it to @starfleet-wannabe💓 babes, you make my days better!!! ily!!!(also I promise you that those imagines abt Joe x Reader will see the light once...I promise you, Erin)

I can't insert the "Keep reading" link from the tumblr mobile app, cause I'm really dumb, so if you don't want to read it - just scroll down k thx

this was requested many times and I'm sorry, my dudes....this is really bad....

warnings: obviously smut lmao, typos (sorry I've read it too many times just to check on errors and I can't look at this text right now, and there are obviously still bunch of mistakes, sorry, fellas)

Joe if you ever see this I'm sorry I hope it never happens

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Joe is the softest human being ever (well, mostly). It doesn't matter whether the sex was romantic and tender or rough and passionate, the aftercare is always the same: he helps clean you up and then make you both tea, while you lie in bed, talking and just spending time with each other.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of their partners)

As it was considered on this website, Joe is an ass man. You can count the times his hands were off your bum; he always keeps his hand on your lower back, and then, if he's in the mood (and he's always in the mood) he starts caressing your butt through your clothes, grabbing and tapping it when he can. It's not like the ass is the only thing he admires - Joe loves all of you, every part of your body and soul. But your ass is just so squishy and soft, and he can't get enough of it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

If the sex is unprotected, he cums on your ass. Period.

D = Dirty Secret

Joe doesn't have dirty secrets. If he wants to try something, he'll tell you about it; there isn't something you two can't discuss.

E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

Joe is very experienced. He knows exactly what to do to make you scream his name in the bedroom.

F = Favourite Position

Doggy (unbelievable, right?). He also loves reverse cowgirl for obvious reasons. But it doesn't mean that you don't change positions while having sex. He loves seeing you on top, riding both of you into orgasm; he enjoys missionary and every other sex position, simply because he gets to try them all with you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Come on, it's Joe we're talking about here. Sex is sometimes filled with him telling you stupid jokes, and always it turns out to be just like he's having a stand up show, while you lie down naked under him. He may crack up some dad jokes during the most tense moments, like when you're on top of him, and you're gasping and moaning, "I'm cumming", he'd say breathlessly, "Hi, cumming, I'm Joe", and you'll just burst into crazy laugh, even though the joke is stupid and not funny.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't like to be completely bare down there, so he just keeps it trimmed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Joe is very romantic (we been knew). He just loves you so much that, even if the sex rough, he still wants and needs you to feel loved and comfortable. The man is so in love with you that he can't stop kissing and touching you, whispering how much he adores you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

It's a must, if he's away filming. You two like to get yourselves off while talking on the phone, breathing and moaning messily while telling each other the filthiest things. Joe is actually an expert in dirty talk.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Joe's got hella lots of kinks. He's most preferable ones are:

Daddy kink. Do you really think this man doesn't like to be called daddy? If you do, you're wrong. Seeing you twirling in ecstasy when "daddy" is the only thing you can weakly whimper makes him bust a nut right then and there.

Edging. He's an asshole sometimes, alright? Joe enjoys it when you desperately beg him to fuck you. He loves when you're being restrained all day, and you walk around frustrated and horny. Not to mention that the thought of fucking you hard later turns him on immediately. (You love all of it too, even though you don't admit it sometimes; you're also fond of the idea teasing Joe like this later).

Slight voyeurism, but he likes to watch himself fuck you. He's bought a huge mirror for the bedroom, so that you two could have sex in front of it. He loves to pound into you from behind, holding your hair, slapping your ass and saying the dirtiest shit, like, "Watch yourself being wrecked by my cock" or "Look how pretty you look, look at your pretty tits boucing like this cause I'm fucking you so hard"

Dirty talk (it's considered as a kink, right?). Come on, Joe is a master at this. He'd spill the filth at random places; like you two are doing grocery shopping and he comes to you holding a watermelon, leans in and whispers in your ear, "I wish I could bend you over this shopping cart and fuck you till you can't move". And you just stand there bewildered, while he continues his routine. Or when you're on some fancy event, he'd put his hand on your waist and say to you quietly, "You look so sexy like this with this red lipstick. Can't wait when these pretty lips are wrapped around my cock". And your eyes go wide as you choke on your drink, while everyone looks at you weirdly.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Um, anywhere? Joe's just turned on by you 24/7 (as well as you are by him), so he doesn't mind having sex with you in restrooms, closets, empty hallways, in his trailer, your childhood bedrooms... Once you were at the party and caught your friends having sex; no wonder that fifteen minutes later you and Joe were doing the same thing in the bathroom, of course, in front of the mirror. Sex in his car is a must too, especially when you're driving - he thinks you look really hot while doing so. One time you were almost caught doing it in the car by the police, and since then you can't stop giggling like two teenagers while remembering about it.

But Joe loves sex in your bedroom. He just feels like this is the most intimate place on the Earth, where you two can be sincere and sensitive.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Anything. He's got the crazy sex energy, and literally anything can make him go. Once, when you were brushing your teeth, and wearing one of his old tee-shirts and baggy pajama pants, he decided it was a good idea to start teasing you, by leaving wet, mouth-opened kisses on your neck and by fingering you slowly. You evidently couldn't brush you teeth normally at that moment.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Joe wouldn't do something that'll harm and hurt both of you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He's a pro in giving. You'll be screaming and grabbing his hair tightly, even though he barely touched you. And as you love giving too, he wouldn't ever be against it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

You can experience every pace during the time you have sex. He may start roughly, pounding into you harshly, and then go slower, stretching you gently and whispering sweet nothings against your skin.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Joe loves quickies. Once when he was on set and had to leave for shooting in five minutes, he pinned you against the wall of his trailer and fucked the soul outta you. "It's just a preview of what you're getting at night", he winked at you while leaving and you just gasped. This man is something, y'all.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

You both love taking risks. Joe enjoys having sex when the guests you invited to your party may come at any moment; he once decided to start fingering you while you were at dinner with your family. "Such a good girl, taking me so well", he whispered in your ear when you struggled not to moan loudly in front of your parents. "I'm gonna fuck you so good when we get into the car. I'm gonna reward you for being such a good girl and not cumming here".

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

If he and you are feeling alright, 2 and more rounds. But if one of you is not okay, and the sex is just full of love and reassurance, there'd be just one round.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You own toys. And Joe's using them on you. Especially when he's being a little shit - means when he's edging you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Once you were having an unplanned and sloppy sex in the secluded bathroom at one after-party of the awards, and he pulled out right when you were about to cum. He initiated the sex and denied you both. That's how much of a "tease" he is.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's loud when he's in the mood. He can moan loudly, and sometimes when you feel incredibly good he comes while screaming your name.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Joe's got a breeding kink. (It's not really surprising, though, this man radiates dad energy). He gets hard just thinking about you being pregnant with his child. Man wants to have a family with you, and that's why he can barely keep it in his pants when you're around (always).

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His dick is a perfect size to make you scream. That's it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Joe's sex drive is immeasurable. You have no idea how this man can always be horny and ready to fuck.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He falls asleep as soon as you two cuddle; when you start breathing in unison, he nods off pretty quickly, still holding you tightly.

[r6shippingdelivery]

Could you do the alphabet for Lion please 🤫

Okay, let’s sing this ABC!😏

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s not used to having a loving partner, not after the Claire fiasco, so I think he’d be rather awkward and not know exactly what to do. Should he talk to his partner? Offer them to go shower? Just get up and get dressed in silence? So he just lays on bed, looking at the ceiling and pondering. Once he’s been with his partner for a time, he’d feel more at ease, be more affectionate. Still, laying in quiet contemplation while holding hands would be his first option.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He feels bad admitting it, but he’s aware he has a nice ass, and knows how good it looks when he wears tight pants. But this is a Christian household and he doesn’t engage in vanity anymore! As for his partner, he’s a hips & waist person, loves resting his hands there, it feels really intimate without being too much.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He always, always, will wear a condom. Always. After getting his teenage girlfriend pregnant, he learnt the lesson. Only exception ever would be if he was with a man, and with Lion being the bottom, in that case maybe he’d be open to experimenting if there’s enough trust.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I think it’s safe to say the entirety of rebel years are one big dirty secret. He doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t like thinking about. However, of all the things he did, the one he’s most regretful about is no secret trying to pressure Claire into getting an abortion

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

The one good thing of those years he prefers not to remember in detail, is that there’s not much a partner could ask of him that would shock him, he’s most probable already been there and done that.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Just for the pun, I’m tempted to say missionary 😂I think beneath his brash and loud exterior, he has a submissive streak and prefers to let his partner control the situation. So, his partner stradling and riding him sounds great to Lion, and if he’s the one being penetrated, then bent over the nearest surface is how he likes it better.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He doesn’t strike me as a very humorous person, he’s rather serious. If he was with a goofier partner, at first he could mistake their innate humour with mockey of him, which would lead to some arguments. But in the long run it might help him loosen up and start appreciating their humour or even attempting his own.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He keeps his body well groomed and with a minimum of hair, for the sake of cleanliness and for practical reasons: when you work with biohazards and chemical threats, decontamination showers (striping and scrubbing) are easier the less hair you have.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

I’m gonna put my two cents here: I think this man is starved for intimacy. His prickly and suspicious nature might work in his disadvantage, but as soon as he feels reassured and comfortable enough in a relationship, he’s bound to bloom under proper affection. Of course, he would want to do things right this time, and show his partner properly how much they mean to him, therefore sex would become more romantic and sensual than it had been before.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Oh boy, he would feel guilty about it, fearing it was a first step to fall back into his libertine habits. I think he would either try to abstain as much as he could, or just do it quickly to not dwell on it too much. And the moment he starts having fantasies about someone, you can multiply that guilt x2, at least until they start a relationship, in that moment he wouldn’t feel as bad about lusting after them. It’s normal and expected to be turned on by your partner.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Being loved :’)He knows back in the day he enjoyed wax play, it made him feel the right mix of debauchery, slight pain and pleasure. However, he’s hesitant to bring up his kinks to his partner.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

His house, or his partner’s if they aren’t living together. Hotel rooms are sorta okay too, but those give him an impersonal vibe he’d rather avoid, the words impersonal and sex put together don’t bring him good memories.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

His partner showing in some way that they appreciate him: a surprise hug from behind, an unexpected kiss, knowing they dressed up in a certain way to impress him, being told he looks or smells good today, etc. With how much he often denies himself sexual release, these seemingly small gestures of affection can give him a throbbing boner rather quickly, much to his embarrassement.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Unsafe sex. Degradation, either to him or his partner, he vowed to be better than that.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He’s so good at going on his knees and worshipping, if you know what I mean 😏

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

If the relationship is serious, he’ll try his damn best to take things slow and treat his partner real good. But as soon as his partner takes control, he’ll gladly take whatever pace they want to set, and if he’s the bottom, he might end up asking for faster and rougher.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He had his fill of quickies, he’d rather take his time with sex now, don’t do things rushed and sloppy. And yet, even with a stable partner, from time to time he’ll be persuaded to indulge in a quickie, when they both are really horny but don’t have much time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not very inclined to take risks, he already had his risk-taking phase. If his partner is on the kinky side or likes BDSM, they’ll have to convince him very slowly to dip his toes into it,

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Usually just one round, but he’ll make it last for as long as he can, to ensure both him and his partner reach an explosive orgasm.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t have toys for himself, but he’s okay using toys during sex with his partner.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’d love to tease his partner more, but he’s rather straighforward. His way of teasing his basically telling his partner through the day that he can’t wait to be alone with them, so he can show them heaven on earth.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Aye, he’s loud like a roaring lion, no doubt of that.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

While he feels certain anxiety after arguing with his partner, his own confrontational character makes it hard to not argue. And he loves sex after an argument with his partner: rough and angry? Yeah, he welcomes the slight pain or discomfort, he deserves punishment. Tender make up sex? Amazing, he loves it.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I’d say average in all senses, but he learnt through experience that size isn’t the most important thing to please a partner.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Higher than he would like it to be, although it could an effect of him trying to repress and ignore his libido until he caves in. He’s basically trapped in a cycle of abstaining and getting horny until he explodes, then start again.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He isn’t the type to quickly fall asleep afterwards, instead he gets contemplative, might even start talking if he feels absolutely comfortable with his current partner, otherwise the doubts and guilt might start gnawing at him: did he do the right thing? is the partner pleased? is he being too lustful and falling into old habits? would his partner welcome a kiss or should they get cleaned first?

[nobodies-png]

modern!au is a CONCEPT. bless y'all. could u do some hcs for modern! roxas, ventus, vanitas, xion, and sora + having a disney marathon w/ their s/o? like what movies they pick, do they sing along, r there snuggles, what snacks are brought, etc. (pls feel free to add any other details u want. i love lil details.) (this might've sent once already, my page refreshed. if so, sorry!) hugs & kisses!

o this is such a wholesome prompt, thanks for sending it !

Sora : 

You’re looking at the Disney King himself. He knows a shit ton of movies and almost every song in existence so you bet your ass he’s gonna sing. And you’ll probably tag along too, his enthusiasm is just so contagious - hell, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the lyrics, just sing whatever you want to the rhythm of the song with him ! 

He’ll b e g you to watch Big Hero Six and the Lion King movies with him. After that, you can choose anything you want but just p l e a s e let him watch those, they’re his absolute favorites. Also, remember to keep some napkins around cause Sora will cry no matter the movie, the messages just hit d e e p and he’s just a softie. Just snuggle with him for a bit and pat his back while he just stutters about how cool the movies were, he’ll eventually stop with the waterworks. 

You know what ? Sora probably has a lot of Disney merch. If you guys are having a disney marathon, you’re gonna do it properly. He won’t hesitate to prepare his entire house just for this movie night - building a pillow fort in the living room so you two can chill comfortably, hoarding a lot of snacks and like a thousand popcorn bags, wearing his Stitch onesie (and probably lending you his Winnie the Pooh onesie if you’re up for it !) 

Like the whole concept could feel childish, but not to Sora ! He grew up with Disney and he holds those movies very dear to his heart, so he’d be so happy to know that you’re willing to pull an all-nighter with him ! You’re never too old to enjoy these things.

You know Sora would suggest inviting absolutely everyone, but he won’t complain if you wish for a more intimate date. That’s fine with him too ! The two of you would have such a fun time and then pass out in the pillow fort at like 4 am. 

Vanitas : 

You know those people who are like “Pffft, Disney is overrated” ? That’s Vanitas right there. The guy looks like he’s fueled by kicking puppies and being a generally mean jerk - but you know better than that. Vanitas has zero knowledge about Disney cause he was never interested in cartoons as a kid so he simply assumes it’s bad. It’s up to you to show him the real deal.

At first he’d be against the idea of having a marathon. The guy can barely pay attention to class or hold a normal conversation and you want him to just sit there and watch movies ? U n b e l i e v a b l e. Are you singing ? Please stop, no singing allowed in this house, no he doesn't want to be part of your world, plEASE SPARE HIM - Accepts in the end just to avoid doing homework. He’d let you pick whatever movie you want, but if he were to choose, he’d probably go with the Lady and the Tramp, Treasure Planet or any Pirates of the Caribbean movie. 

No one will be able to wipe off that shit eating grin off your face after seeing Vanitas go from constantly talking over the movie, critizicing everything, teasing you for being so childish to just being dead silent, completely absorbed in whatever movie you two decide to watch. Feel free to catch him off guard with a smooch here, he’ll probably have a hard time processing what the fuck you just did cause holy shit did you see Hercules beat Hades' ass?

If you introduce Vanitas to the whole conspiracy theory about all Disney movies being related, you better be ready for 3 hours of him just rambling about the posibilities. Now THAT’s something that interests him. The movies would just be background noise as you two just talk away into the night, probably in the kitchen while preparing some weird food combination cause you two ran out of snacks. 

If you expect Vanitas to admit that he was wrong and that Disney was, in fact, something pretty cool then you better sit down, honey. The closest thing you’ll get is him just stubbornly saying that “he wouldn’t mind spending more time with you, watching movies for kids.” 

Ventus : 

Ventus is a casual fan. The type that just knows the old 2D princess classics because he grew up with them, but just slowly lost track of what the hell Disney was doing. Like he probably didn't even get to see the Princess and the Frog - But's all good cause he's eager to see your favorite Disney movies !

If you make him choose a movie to watch, he'd go with the safe choices. Stuff that he knows like Snow White, the Little Mermaid and Cinderella. I can see him loving Pocahontas, Moana and the Three Musketeers, though.

If you want to pull an all nighter to watch as many classics as you can, he won't stop you and he'll try to stay awake with you (and pass out a little after midnight, lmao) - but he'd insist on taking breaks cause looking at a screen for over 6 hours straight can't be h e a l t h y.

Ventus would gladly cuddle and snuggle with you - and he'd also love to sing along, but the poor dude doesn't really know any of the lyrics. Solution ? Just put on those good subtitles and there you go ! He'd love to sing Aladdin's A Whole New World with you or just any duet. You two would get so into it that your neighbours would propably have to knock on the walls a few times so you'll lower your volume.

If you ever mention your favorite (s) disney character(s), you can totally expect Ventus to show up one day unnanounced with a plushie of them, just for you. Consider this his way of saying thanks ! And also apologize for passing out so early - he'll make up for that inviting you to yet another movie night with him.

Roxas :

Another casual fan, but the complete opposite of Ventus. Roxas never got into 2D Disney as a kid and he's more into the 3D additions like Brave, Coco or Frankenweenie. He's also that type of controversial fan who actually enjoyed the liveaction remakes of the old classics.

But don't get him wrong, he's still a r u t h l e s s critic. Roxas gets bored pretty quickly with movies that have such obvious and bland plots and twists that he can see them coming from a mile away. I see him being more of a Pixar fan, just quoting Shrek in his usual deadpan voice on a daily basis. Roxas' brain in a 1000 heartless fight : "and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they-"

If you want to watch movies with him, prepare to discover Roxas' more sassy side - the guy just can't hold back all these funny remarks and jabs at Disney Fairy Tale Logic™. "Oh good for you Gaston, trying to send your crush's father to a psychiatric ward just so she can pay attention to you is SUCH a powermove. You should've dated Lefou instead -" "Do you think Ariel's daughter was born with a mermaid tail or legs? Imagine the monstrosity -".

In the end you two wouldn't even pay attention to the actual movies, since you'd be too busy mocking and impersonating every character and just rolling on the floor laughing your asses off. Your snapchat and instagram stories would be filled with videos of each other doing dumb stuff, calling out all the tiny mistakes as if you two were CinemaSins.

In the end, this Disney Marathon would just turn into a weekly movie night where you two just watch everything and anything. Sometimes it's fun and goofy, and sometimes you two actually get into the plot and discuss all the h i d d e n lore. Roxas would feel super special to have this little new tradition with you.

Xion :

Xion is the definition of a Disney Princess. She absolutely loves every princess movie and you bet your ass she screamed when all of them appeared in full 3D during Ralph breaks the Internet. Like she's a natural romantic and a dreamer at heart, so all the fairy tales just get to her, always tearing up during the climax of the movies.

Ironically, most of her favorite Disney movies aren't princess related : Aristocats, Peter Pan, Tangled and Brother Bear. Xion is that type of person who just points out all the similarities between her friends and the characters. Like Kenai and Kods's bond remind her of her and Roxas' friendship with Axel, Saix reminds her of Randall from Monsters Inc, Kairi is totally Lilo and Aqua is Nani - You get the idea !

Even if you suggested the idea of a Disney Marathon, Xion would just plan the best course of action and take the lead almost immediately. She's just so excited to be able to spend this night with you that she wants to make the most of it ! Snacks ? Check. Netflix and other sites to see movies ? Check. A shit ton of blankets and hot cocoa ? Check. The perfect partner ? Check.

Xion would do her best to not break out into fullblown singing - mostly out of respect for her roommates and neighbours, but you'll definitely hear her hum along and mutter the lyrics under her breath. And if the song is catchy enough, she'd love to pull you in for a dance !

At the end of the night, you two would be exhausted but content. Probably giving up on seeing all the movies, just listening to a disney playlist on Youtube while you two do stupid and silly Buzzfeed quizzes like "What Disney villain are you based on your aesthetics" and such. Xion has trouble sleeping, so you'll most likely end up falling asleep on her first. She'll stay awake till sunrise, taking a few sneaky selfies with you peacefully sleeping by her side.

[meginoi]

37, 31, 1, 44, princiety, bonus if the other two are not there and are worried about them killing each other and it’s just a whole fest with candles and Christmas chocolate etc.

This got really, really long because it inspired me so have a New Years fic. I hope it’s okay. For those who don’t know, Auld Lang Syne is a poem that is sung on New Year’s Eve around the world. Happy New Years Eve, everyone!

1 - “It’s almost midnight!”31 -  “So, we’re kind of snowed in.”37 - “You didn’t think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?”44 - “You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

Pairing: Prinxiety

Warnings: self-depreciating thoughts

Words: 2508

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TheChristmas lights glowed softly in the dying light of the day. Their cheerfulatmosphere  quickly waning with each daythat passed. The New Year was rapidly approaching, bringing with it theoverwhelming prospect of New Years resolutions, returning to work and anotherNew Year’s Eve that he’d be spending alone.

Virgil sighed and shifted inhis seat, careful not to spill his hot chocolate in the process. This Christmashad been one of the better ones, one in a long line of many that had beenslowly getting better since he’d met Patton, Logan and Roman. He’d spent theday with his friends, laughing and opening presents.

But, of course, it couldnever last. He had trudged back home as the day slowly darkened and gave way tothe night. The following days had flown by in a blur of Christmas movies andfood. What better way to spend those days between Christmas and New Years?

And so Virgil sat, curled upon the corner of the sofa, that he’d dragged around so it faced the bay window,watching as the snow slowly fell from the dull, grey sky and landed on thestreet below. It would have been nice to not spend New Years alone but who washe to complain? They were probably sick of him, Christmas Day was more thanenough for them to get sick of his presence-

A knock at the door flung himback into reality. Who would be knocking at his door on Christmas Eve? Everyonehe knew was either planning to spend New Years with their loved ones or getdrunk out of their minds. The former he didn’t have and the latter didn’tappeal to him.

He stood and quickly made hisway down the narrow staircase and hallway to the door, steeling himself to seeeither an odd salesman who worked on New Year’s Eve or a neighbour who had ranout of something and was counting on him to be hospitable enough to save a NewYears party he hadn’t even been invited to.

 Never did he expect to seeRoman standing on his doorstep, cold and covered in snow but joyfulnonetheless.

 “Roman?” He started, “whatare you doing here?”

“You didn’t think I’d let you spend Christmasalone, did you?” Roman exclaimed.

“But…it’s New Year’s Eve. Christmasis over.”

“Nonsense! We still haveanother…” he pulled his sleeve back and glanced down at his watch, “4 hoursuntil Christmas is over!”

Virgil sighed and glanceddown at his feet before looking back up to face the man in front of him again.“I suppose you better come in before you freeze to death, then.”

Roman beamed that smile ofhis that made butterflies erupt in Virgil’s stomach and stepped inside,stamping the snow off his boots in the hallway. He shedded his coat and hung iton a hook next to Virgil’s own, a sight that made a blush rise of Virgil’scheeks…he could easily blame that reaction on the cold.

“I thought you had planstonight?” Virgil called from the kitchen as he poured hot water into two mugs,the sweet smell of the hot chocolate quickly filling the small kitchen. The guyhad trekked through the snow to see him, the least he could do was try and makesome casual conversation. 

“I did, but they cancelled,” Romansighed, settling into the end of the sofa opposite to the one he knew Virgilalways sat in. 

“And that’s why you trekkedthrough this blizzard to see me?” Virgil countered. Roman could have easilyjust stayed at home, where it was warm and safe. So what possessed him to walkacross town to see him? Virgil couldn’t understand it.

“Good question, my friend!You see, Patton and Logan have their own plans and I couldn’t let you spend therun up to New Years alone if I was available could I? That would be absolutelyheinous of me! I may have also not wanted to spend New Years alone,” Romanexplained, his voice dropping to a low mumble at the end.  

Virgil chuckled dryly as hecarried the two mugs into the front room, handing one to Roman before sittingdown with his own. The snow was still falling heavily, the wind whipping it upinto a frenzy before letting it settle on the ground. “I guess I should thankyou then, for your selfless actions,” Virgil quipped.

“No, no thanks is necessary,”Roman smiled, letting the drink quickly thaw his cold hands. They idly chattedfor the next hour, talking about everything from Christmas to Roman’s next bigaudition he had been preparing for months for.

“Yes, the play is simplyamazing! It’s about-“ his sentence died in his throat as the first fireworksstarted to light up the sky. Every colour imaginable exploded and flew throughthe air, like paint splatters on a black background. The snow had stoppedfalling but had left a thick blanket of white that covered everything, makingit hard to differentiate the road from the pedestrian path. 

Roman leaned forward andchecked his watch with wide eyes. An hour until midnight. He turned to faceVirgil and cleared his throat. “I better get going. I should get home beforemidnight if I want to avoid the New Years crowds.” 

‘He could always stay here.’ Virgil’s brain supplied. He stood and turned to facethe window in a panic filled attempt to hide his rapidly rising blush.“R-right. I’ll see you out.” 

Roman shrugged his coatbefore pulling on his gloves and wrapping his scarf around his neck. “Thank youfor your company tonight, Virgil. Have a good new year.”

“Thanks, Ro. You too,” Virgillet a slight smile slip onto his face. But as soon as Roman turned to leave, hefelt his stomach drop. He really didn’t want Roman to go.

But as soon as he opened thefont door and cold air swept into the hallway, he stopped, staring at somethingthat went unseen by Virgil.

Then, much to Virgil’s shockand confusion, Roman shut the door and turned back to face him. “I’m afraid wemay have each other’s company for a while longer. It seems we’re snowed in.”

Virgil stepped around Roman,who was taking his coat off again, and opened the door. Roman was right, thesnow came up to Virgil’s knee, the product of a weeks worth of steadily fallingsnow. Virgil sighed and slammed the door shut.

“Won’t Patton and Logan beable to help. Can’t they come dig us out of something,” Virgil asked, his voiceraising in annoyance, no matter what he felt for Roman he couldn’t let hispersona slip. He may have looked annoyed but on the inside the butterflies hadreturned, and they were jumping for joy. 

Roman shook his head. I don’teven think they’d answer. They’re probably making out or something by now.” 

Virgil felt his blush darkenat the image Roman’s words bought but he quickly pushed the thought aside,choosing to focus on the situation at hand. “I guess you’ll have to stay the nightthen,” Virgil stated, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms. 

“If it’s not too muchtrouble,” Roman smiled, handing reach up to awkwardly rub at the back of hisneck. 

“Well I can’t throw yououtside to freeze to death can I?” Virgil quipped, walking back into the livingroom and falling back into the seat that had been his for the past few hours.

They watched the earlyfireworks with a mix of excitement and nostalgia, recalling Christmases and NewYears of years past. Looking upon the first one they had all spent togetherwith an extra sense of warmth the memory bought.

“Ah, I remember that year itwas-“ Roman’s sentence died in his throat as they were plunged into darkness,the only light coming from the harsh light of the streetlights outside. Virgilstood before grabbing his phone and letting the built-in torch light up theroom.  

“It’s just a power cut,” Virgilsighed after checking the electrics. “It must be the snow.” 

“Oh, what a fiend! Trying toruin the New Years cele-“ Roman exclaimed but was abruptly cut off as Virgilraised a hand to silence him. Virgil disappeared into the kitchen, reappearinga few moments later with a box of chocolates and some candles that were stackedprecariously on top. 

“These should do until thepower comes back on,” Virgil mumbled as he lit three candles and placed them onthe ledge that jutted out of the window in front of them. He flitted to thefire that sat below the wall mounted tv, and lit it. Within a few minutes, itwas crackling merrily behind them, casting a soft, flickering glow as thewarmth seeped into their bones.

“And what’s the chocolatefor?” Roman asked, grabbing the blanket that was draped over the back of the sofa,wrapping it around himself.

“Can’t watch a show withoutsome treats can you?” Virgil smirked, popping open the lid of the box ofcelebrations and unwrapping a malteaser. Roman grinned and did the same,leaving the galaxy wrapper on the ledge. He glanced down at his watch andgrinned, eyes that were sparkling with excitement rising to meet Virgil’s.

“Fifteen minutes,” Romanbeamed. Virgil smiled at the other’s excitement, shifting in his seat to faceRoman.

“Y’know, I never understood what’sso great about a New Years kiss. It’s just another kiss, right?” Virgilrambled, his mouth running faster than his mouth. As his thoughts caught up, heslapped a hand over his mouth eyes widening as he realised what he said.

Roman’s expression morphedfrom relaxed to one of shock. “How can you not understand?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I just don’tunderstand,” Virgil replied, hesitantly dropping his hand from his mouth. 

“It’s about the build-up. Theway the new year is welcomed in with an act of love with one of the mostimportant people in your life. It’s magical!” Roman gushed, caught up in hisown fantasies. As his words died in the air, his expression of happiness fadedinto one of concern.

Virgil looked anything buthappy. His eyes had become cold, his mouth pulled into a thin line thatradiated discomfort (or was it loneliness?)

“Virgil,” Roman started,“have you ever had a New Years kiss?”

There was silence for amoment before Virgil whispered ‘no’. It was barely loud enough to be heard butboth of them felt like it filled the room.

And Roman, in the soft glowof the fire, knew exactly what to do. He became serious, sitting up in his seatas he toyed with the edge of one of the sleeves of his sweater. “I suppose Ishould get my New Years resolution over and done with. Best to start early,” hechuckled to himself before it quickly died and silence overtook them again.

Virgil was staring at him, aquestioning look in his eyes. “What’s your New Years resolution?”

Roman sighed and steeledhimself, opening his mouth to say the words he’d been mentally planning allnight long. “I had planned to call you but this amazing twist of fate bought mehere instead, so I guess I’ll just tell you. It’s to tell you how I feel. Totell you how my heart starts to beat faster every time you walk in the room. Totell you about how your smile sets off butterflies in my stomach and makes mefeel lighter. How I can’t stop grinning when I think about you. How I can’t getyou off my mind even when you’re not there. To tell you about how I’ve beenthinking about how to say this all night and how I walked here to do it inperson when I had the opportunity. To tell you how much I like you and how I maybe in love with you before I lose my chance. Please don’t feel like you need tosay anything. I just needed to tell y-“ 

On the first chime ofmidnight, Virgil leaned forward and kissed Roman. Fireworks exploded behindthem, the colours shooting across the sky went unnoticed by both of them.Virgil’s hand rested on either side of Roman’s face, gently caressing the skinthere with his thumb, while Roman’s hands found their way to Virgil’s waist.

Virgil was the first to pullaway, high on the euphoria running through his veins from both Roman’sconfession and the kiss. 

“I take it you feel the sameway?” Roman asked, slightly breathless.

“Maybe just a little,” Virgiljoked, standing to sit closer to Roman. He curled his leg up under himself andrested his head on Roman’s chest. “Is this okay?” He asked, ready to flinghimself back to the other end of the sofa at a moment’s notice.

“It’s more than okay,” Romanreplied, wrapping an arm around him and planting a kiss on the top of Virgil’shead.  The chimes were still sounding,the deep vibrations carrying easily through the walls. Roman looked out at theview, softly starting to sing the same song he did every year on New Year’sEve.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

Virgil smiled as herecognised the familiar tune, burrowing deeper against Roman. He softly joinedin, his own, quieter voice mixing with Roman’s now louder, more confident one.

And surely you'll buy your pint cup!

and surely I'll buy mine!

And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

 We two have runabout the slopes,

and picked the daisies fine;

But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,

since auld lang syne.

 We two have paddled in the stream,

from morning sun till dine;

But seas between us broad have roared

since auld lang syne.

Virgil let his voice fadeinto silence as Roman finished the song, his voice a mix of joy, nostalgia forthe year gone and excitement for the year to come. As the last verse started todrift through the air, he gently took hold of Virgil’s hand, intertwining theirfingers.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend!

And give me a hand o’ thine!

And we'll take aright good-will draught,

for auld lang syne.

As the last line fadedinto silence, so did the chimes of the clock in the town square. The fireworkswere still sounding, loud bangs and high pitched twirls that could sometimesonly be heard, not seen, they would be sounding for a few more hours yet.

“Happy New Year,” Romansmiled, looking down at Virgil.

“Happy New Year,” Virgilreplied, glancing up at Roman before surging upwards and kissing him again.

Yeah, twenty-eighteen wasgoing to be a great year.

[starliightxo]

✨ Holly Discography & OOC Meanings ✨

Storytelling = songs not written about her life but a story she made up

Red

1. State Of Grace ~ for Haley

2. Red ~ (Storytelling) Comparing love and emotions to colours

3. Treacherous ~ Park

4. I Knew You Were Trouble ~ Park

5. All Too Well ~ Adrian

6. 22 ~ Just a feel good, having fun song

7. I Almost Do ~ Adrian

8. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together ~ (Storytelling) just a catchy get stuck in your head song, are specifically to be a single to get attention

9. Stay Stay Stay ~ Adrian

10. The Last Time ~ (storytelling) but in a way it's about her parents and begging them to put her first when it comes to them taking Haley. Because they never considered her in all their choices and it broke her.

11. Holy Ground ~ Adrian

12. Sad Beautiful Tragic ~ Adrian

13. The Lucky One ~ Herself discovering that starting to be known and fame isn't exactly what people expect

14. Everything Has Changed ~ (storytelling)

15. Starlight (co-written with Soraya) ~ for Soraya

16. Begin Again ~ meeting Adrian again after the 4 year gap

17. The Moment I Knew ~ a birthday she spent just after she had Haley and longing for Adrian to come back even though she knew her parents wouldn't have even let him through the door even if he had. But it's not nearly as bitter @ him as the song suggests

18. Come Back... Be Here ~ Adrian

19. Girl At Home ~ (storytelling) girls supporting girls

Fifteen (EP)

(the EP based off the songs she wrote in school/post losing adrian)

1. Love Story ~ Adrian

2. Fearless ~ Adrian

3. Fifteen ~ Herself and kind of a message to Haley to put her dreams first

4. You Belong With Me ~ Adrian/Paisley but lowkey any girl taking interest in him. I.e. margo etc.

5. Better Than Revenge ~ Paisley/Margo

6. Last Kiss ~ Adrian

7. Enchanted ~ Adrian when they met again at St Judes. their first official date was at a ball esque thingy

8. Ours ~ about Adrian @ her parents and the disapproval

9. Mine ~ Adrian (Storytelling) what she imagined

Safe And Sound (EP)

(The EP about/for haley)

1. Safe And Sound ~ a lullaby for haley

2. Innocent ~ about herself in a way and trying to forgive herself for hr mistakes when it came to haley and the choices she make but also reminding her that she could stay innocent and young for as long as possible

3. Never Grow Up ~ wishing she doesn't grow up too fast because she very much did and it was terrifying

4. Untouchable ~ How haley's kept away from her

5. Breathe ~ the follow on from untouchable and not being able to breathe without her

Welcome To New York

1. Welcome To New York ~ Her love for the city and dreaming of living there

2. Blank Space ~ (Storytelling)

3. Style ~ Adrian

4. Out Of The Woods ~ the aftermath of (tw) the rape and holly fighting to get out of the dark place and there's obviously hints of Adrian in there being with her through it

5. All You Had To Do Was Stay ~ Soraya & Dallas (storytelling)

6. Shake It Off ~ speaks for itself basically for her fans

7. I Wish You Would ~ Adrian after he disappeared when she first got pregnant and they separated

8. Bad Blood ~ Anyone against her and labelling her as the mean girl. She went very theatrical and played on it. Although everyone thinks it's specifically about Hensley, she was just one name on a long list

9. Wildest Dreams ~ back when she first started at St Judes and met Julian again, his was another sing based on their first date at the ball-esque event

10. How You Get The Girl ~ at Dallas about Soraya

11. This Love ~ Adrian

12. I Know Places ~ wanting to hide from the insider and paps and opinions whether it's with Adrian or on her own.

13. Clean ~ The last song she wrote for the album and it's about (tw) the rape. It was the first thing she ever wrote about it so it's extremely personal

14. Wonderland ~ (storytelling)

15. You Are In Love ~ Adrian

16 . New Romantics ~ St Judes/Monroe life

Reputation

1. Ready For It? ~ preparing for battle in a way. this was one of if not her biggest album and it was all about her fighting back and taking control of her public narrative. She wrote/sang about things you'd never expect and said ings you'd never expect so it's getting ready for that

2. End Game ~ Adrian

3. I Did Something Bad ~ Everyone who did her wrong and called her the mean girl

4. Don't Blame Me ~ Adrian

5. Delicate ~ Adrian

6. Look What You Made Me Do ~ are you ready for it 2.0

7. So It Goes... ~ Adrian

8. Gorgeous ~ Adrian/Haley/Soraya

9. Getaway Car ~ Park

10. King Of My Heart ~ Adrian

11. Dancing With Our Hands Tied ~ Adrian

12. Dress ~ Adrian

13. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things ~ about the shit she gets for winning awards

14. Call It What You Want ~ Adrian and their relationship but it's aimed at their parents

15. New Years Day ~ painting a nice picture of new years day (because She was (tw) raped on new years eve night just before midnight) and basically how Adrian was there for her the day after and picked her back up

Lover

1. I Forgot That You Existed ~ anyone not on her side and lowkey about the guy who r*ped her. Although that's on her mind a lot, this would have been her when she's enjoying her time with someone and she forgets for one night. Or how she wishes she could forget about him for good.

2. Cruel Summer ~ probably her brief rebound of a relationship with park tbh and she convinced herself it was love to try and make herself feel better about the guilt. But ultimately they both knew it wasn't good or going to work.

3. Lover ~ about Holly and Adrian finally being in complete control of their relationship but still having insecure moments where she worries about losing him, but he's there every time. It speaks for itself mainly tbh.

4. The Man ~ the feminist jumped out LOL she aimed for this one to be relatable in every sense cause she knows it's a very common topic. But some things jump out from her own experiences like: "when everyone believes ya, what's that like?" About the r*ape trial.

5. The Archer ~ I love how holly it is 😩 reflecting on how she handled certain situations like things with hensley (bad blood) and how she's made a lot of mistakes. And being lowkey terrified she'll lose people because of it. I think mainly Adrian and Soraya tbh.

6. I Think He Knows ~ Adrian

7. Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince ~ about the negative affects caused by st Jude's and "fame" and having Adrian there through it all. The second first specifically would be about the night of the r*pe and when she told Adrian and he was the one of the only ones who cared what the truth was. Personally I think this is the most holly song on the album! I knew exactly what she'd write it about as soon as I heard it lol

8. Paper Rings ~ Adrian

8. Cornelia Street ~ kinda Begin Again 2.0 for holly and it basically being about that first time she saw Adrian again after they're 4 years apart and the fear she had of losing them/him again. I especially feel the line "It's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend"

9. Death By A Thousand Cuts (storytelling)

10. London Boy ~ her dream has always been to live in New York so she's kinda made herself new York in this album and Adrian's the London boy, even though he isn't English LOL? but their relationship lives in London basically. And she loves NY but she'd go wherever he is instead.

11. Soon You'll Get Better ft The Dixie Chicks ~ Soraya's health problems, how much her wellbeing means to holly and how desperately she needs her to just be okay all the time.

12. False god ~ I picture her breakup with Adrian back when she was pregnant and they were kids. How it all went to shit but that small hope still there "We might just get away with it." She probably would have taken snippets from old journals back from that time for this.

13. You Need To Calm Down ~ It's about ever form of love

14. Afterglow ~ this one hits me so much and cause I'm so invested in holly and adrian, hurts my heart. Basically apologising for hurting him ever, mainly with Park. But lowkey the r*pe thing too. Even tho he'd never be mad or blame her for that, she blamed herself at one point. And She panics regularly that it would ruin them.

15. ME! ~ a confidence boost for herself, her friends and her fans.

16. It's Nice To Have A Friend ~ being in love with your best friend. Also how I picture her and Adrian starting out in school.

17. Daylight ~ about how her and Adrian both had other things while they weren't together, but since they got back together, it was like stepping back into the daylight and nothing can be as perfect as that feeling they have with each other. They never really had it with anyone else.

Folklore

1. The 1 ~ (storytelling)

2. Cardigan ~ recently holly has defo felt kind of forgotten about and falling into the shadows. And as always, Adrian is slowly started to pull her out of her dark place.

3. The Last Great American Dynasty ~ awhile ago Adrian bought them a kind of holiday home and she wrote a story about the previous owner (storytelling)

4. Exile ft Bon Iver ~ the last song she wrote for the album. Her and Adrian recently broke up and have one of if not their biggest arguments and this was about that

5. My Tears Ricochet ~ Her Parents

6. Mirrorball ~ about being what the media want you to be and being perfect and when you fall and break they watch as if it's entertainment

7. Seven ~ (storytelling) a childhood friendship where one is suffering (tw) in am abusive household and the other wants to rescue them. It's also about wanting to stay young as long as possible and when we stopped doing the little things only children get away with

8. August ~ Park

9. This Is Me trying ~ Herself and her struggle to hold it all together. She defo would have had that moment of being on the edge of a cliff and having the moment she decided to back away from it

10. Illicit Affairs ~ Park

11. Invisible String ~ Adrian

12. Mad Woman ~ Herself and women in general

13. Epiphany ~ (storytelling) a couple/people during world war 2

14. Betty ~ (storytelling)

15. Peace ~ for Adrian

16. Hoax ~ (storytelling)

17. The Lakes ~ wanting to run away but of course only with Adrian

Other Songs

Back To December

Sparks Fly

Mean

Long Live

Beautiful Ghosts

Christmas Tree Farm

I Don't Wanna Live Forever

Babe ft Sugarland

Only The Young

[zuzkyblog-blog]

The Night Visitor - Part 3 (Credence Barebone x Reader)

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: Reader continues to take care of sick Credence during night, addressing some garbage from her own past and dealing with Credence’s nightmare.

Pairing: Credence Barebone x Reader

Word Count: 3764

Warnings: mentions of abuse, angst, hints at dub-con on reader’s part (her past is a bit troubled), FLUFF etc.

Comment: Comments/thoughts are LOVE, don’t be scared to drop a few words if you like this, it always makes my day.  This thing is growing. I have another few chapters in works, althought there’s not much plot to speak of. It’s all just fluff and reader being fluffy with Credence... Ah well.

As you washed Credence's clothes and cleaned the kitchen, your thoughts couldn't let go of the young man. You left him tucked in pillows and duvets of your bed. You knew he needed a lot of rest, but you looked forward to returning to the bedroom to check on him so much, even if you just had to sit by and watch over his sleep.

Half an hour later you returned with a bowl of soup. You hoped you'd find him asleep, but he was just lying on his back, staring deliriously at the ceiling. His eyes found you as soon as you entered the bedroom.

"I've brought you something," you smiled as you came over and sat down at the edge of the bed by his right side.

"P-Please, not another potion," he whined and slowly sat up on the bed.

"You're getting cheeky!" you frowned and placed the bowl on a night table.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he quickly apologised and felt ashamed.

"And I didn't mean to scold you. I actually like it," you smiled and booped his nose playfully. "Don't worry, it's not another potion. It's just good old chicken soup," you said as you handed him a spoon.

"Old?" he raised his eyebrows. Old chicken soup didn't sound particularly tastier than the potion he had to drink before.

"No, I mean, it's fresh! It's just a figure of speech," you quickly explained and blushed.

"I don't remember the last time I had chicken soup," he wondered aloud as he took the bowl, putting it into his lap.

"You know, my potion teacher had a theory that chicken soup is one of the closest things to potions that No-Majes can make. It will really help you get better."

Credence smiled and thanked you. You sat quietly by his side and watched as he slowly ate your soup. He seemed to enjoy it and you were glad for that. You weren't the best cook in New York, but you pretty were sure that your FRESH chicken soup tasted far better than your antipyretic potion.

"It's-- It's delicious, but I'm full now," he said eventually. He'd only eaten a half of the serving you'd prepared, but you knew it couldn't be helped. Who knows how much - or how little - he was used to eat under the roof of that Barebone shrew. Maybe the portion you considered appropriate for an adult male seemed giant for him.

"At least you've eaten something. Eating more than you can would probably cause you harm anyway," you praised him and put the bowl back on the night table.

"D-Do all potions taste like the one you gave me?" he asked you suddenly.

"Heh? No, not at all. Love potion, for example, is quite delicious," you mentioned the first example that came on your mind, only to make your chest tighten and leave a sour aftertaste in your mouth just from the word itself.

"I-Is something wrong?" Apparently Credence noticed your inner tensions.

"It's just… I hate love potions is all," you muttered and looked away, out of the window. It was already dark outside.

"Why?" he asked you. You let his question hang in the air between you two for a few seconds, wondering if you should answer it or not.

"I think a person doesn't need a love potion to make someone else fall in love with them, that's why," you sighed. "M-My ex-boyfriend actually used it on me to make me love him. Eventually I fell in love for real."

Credence observed you as your voice began to shatter down into a million pieces. "In the end, he realised he'd rather be with someone else, admitted he had been using the potion all along and told me not to worry because the effects would wear off eventually. Turns out I'm still not over it. N-Not the break up. It's the betrayal what hurts the most," you sniffled and quickly wiped your eyes before tears could run down your cheeks.

"W-Was it that Steven guy?" he asked you after listening to your sobs for a while. You jerked and looked at him.

"How do you know his name?"

Credence quickly averted his eyes at your question.

"W-When I took care of you a few days ago, we… we fell asleep in an embrace," he explained and his cheeks burned with crimson once again. You remembered it, but it'd taken you a few days to figure out it was more than a feverish dream.

"Y-Yeah, I think I remember," you admitted and your cheeks turned the same hue as his.

"You woke me up a bit later. Y-You seemed to have a bad dream or something. A-All of a sudden, you started…," he stopped and hid his face in embarrassment.

"I started what, Credence?" you prodded.

"Y-You started kissing me," he whispered and your throat tightened as if someone was strangling you. Credence continued: "A-At first I t-tried to stop you, but it… it felt so nice and you were s-so tender, so I went along with it."

"Oh Credence! I had no idea, I'm so sorry!" you moaned in frustration and shook your head in disbelief.

"It-It's ok, I was enjoying it. N-No one has ever kissed me before, y-you know… I didn't even mind you were calling m-me Steven back then," he said and put on a very sad smile.

Your mind was going haywire. Not only you kissed Credence in your delirious state caused by fevers that night. You even called him by you ex-boyfriend's name and he didn't mind! Just how much did this young man crave for attention and intimacy?

"M-Merlin's beard… Credence, I don't know what to say. I-I…," you stuttered, wondering if there was any way to make it up to him.

"It's really no problem," he smiled. "I'm glad I understand you better. Now… Now I know why you called me that name. I knew you weren't really thinking of me back then, but now I get it."

His explanation was meant to ease your mind, but it did quite the opposite. You wanted to tell him you'd do anything to make things right. Especially when you'd realised over the evening that you wished to do exactly that, kissing him.

"A-Anyway, what about the potion? Is it working?" you asked because the burden of silence was getting too difficult to carry. He looked in your eyes, deeper than ever before.

"No," he shook his head a little. You frowned at that, not realising he was lying to you, because he didn't want to leave your side yet.

"N-No? That's weird, the effects should have kicked in by now!" you muttered and remembered the process of making the potion to check for any possible mistakes.

"Miss (Y/N)," he softly called your name. You let out a quiet purr to let him know you were paying attention to what he was saying. "Back in the kitchen, you… you've promised…"

His words were coming together very slowly and you figured out what he was trying to say before he was finished.

"R-Right," you squeaked, took off your slippers and climbed the bed. Credence was surprised at first, but he moved aside anyway, making some space for you. Hesitantly you opened your arms and invited him in. He took the invitation way too eagerly, instead of leaning into your open arms, he pulled you into his embrace and held you tight as he collapsed on his back with you. "C-Credence," you stuttered, your cheeks growing warmer as he nuzzled to your hair.

"C-Can we stay like this?" he whispered in your ear. The soft buzz of his voice sent electric jolts down your spine.

"O-Of course," you whimpered and he threw a blanket over your body while you relaxed beside him as a small spoon. At first, Credence had no idea what to do with his hands. Hugging was completely fine because that included touching your back, but wrapping his arms around you from behind was a whole different story.

Credence was fidgeting uncomfortably. Sleeping in this kind of embrace seemed almost too intimate, almost as if you were lovers. You reached behind your back, found his hand laying spastically on his hip and carefully pulled it to the front, making him wrap it around your waist. He shivered and tried to resist it a little.

"Relax, Credence," you murmured as you placed his hand on your stomach, covering with yours.

"I-Is it really ok?" he asked nervously.

"Only if you are comfortable," you replied.

"I-I am. It's… nice," he admitted shyly and spread his fingers over your belly, relaxing them at the feeling of your body under your shirt.

"Then it's ok," you chuckled and rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb.

"Y-You are so warm…," he sighed and pulled you even closer. Whole backside of your body was enveloped by his taller figure and you couldn't believe how secure it made you feel. It'd been a while since you felt like that. The more you relaxed into his embrace, the more you noticed small details about him. Occasionally Credence's breath sounded like he smelled your (y/h/c) hair, and his body was really skinny and seemed rather fragile as he was pressed against your back.

Soon enough, you drifted off to sleep. You didn't plan to fall asleep in Credence's embrace at first since you had your own laundry to take care of, but it came to you easily as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

It was still dark outside when shaking of the furniture around you caused your eyelids to fly open. The night table was shaking so violently the half-empty bowl with chicken soup you left there fell down and spilled over the carpet. Confused, you looked over your shoulder to check on Credence, but he was nowhere to be found. As if by instinct, you looked to the ceiling and your adrenaline levels immediately skyrocketed.

"Oh no," you whispered and watched the strange dark, smoky cloud twirling around the room as if it was searching for a way to escape. It was the same as the night when Credence appeared in your kitchen. Carefully sitting up on the bed, you kept your eyes glued to the dark mass. You tried to avoid any unexpected movements, but there was no way to prevent the tremors in your hands. You were terrified. If the dark cloud was an Obscurus, it could end really badly for you and a half of this city block.

„C-Credence," you called his name hesitantly. The cloud flickered and stalled as though it paid attention to your voice. "It's Credence, i-isn't it…," you repeated and pondered how to continue. The mellow tone of your voice was working on him; you saw the dark mass getting somewhat more compact. "Let me help you, Credence."

You took a deep breath to gain some courage to extend your hand towards him. Kneeling on the mattress, you reached out and hoped he would reach back, though you weren't exactly sure how he would do that. You couldn't help but smile a little when the dark cloud stretched out a long, thin tendril and grazed your fingers tentatively.

"That's right…," your smile widened as the tentacle twisted around your outstretched arm like a snake. The sensation was a bizarre amalgam of tickles and pins and needles, but at least it didn't hurt. The cloud began to descend slowly till it nestled on the bed in front of you, taking a clear form of Credence Barebone in your oversized pyjamas. So it was him… The tendril that previously crawled around your wrist turned into his hand and he squeezed your delicate fingers in his palm. You felt your heart shatter as you watched his head bow down and his back begin to shake.

"It's ok, honey, I'm here," you murmured and tugged on his hand to see if he was willing to let you pull him into your embrace. He wouldn't budge. "Do you remember what happened?" you asked slowly.

"I-," he started and choked on tears. You crawled closer, sat by his side and placed your hand between his shoulder blades, rubbing small circles into his skin to soothe him down. "I-I had a nightmare and then… I d-don't know what happened. It's like I wasn't… myself."

"It's alright, Credence. It wasn't real," you whispered and stopped rubbing his back when he began to lean to the side as if he wanted to rest against you.

"I-I'm scared," he sobbed. "What is happening to me?" He weakly collapsed onto your lap and pressed his face against your navel. It surprised you, but you were quick to provide him with comfort. Tousling his hair with your fingers and caressing his nape, you wondered for a second what to do.

"Whatever's happening to you, I will help you, ok? We'll figure something out," you said and tickled the back of his neck. Credence nodded, rubbing his nose against your bellybutton in the process. You had to grit your teeth so you wouldn't laugh how much it tickled.

"Credence, I've been thinking today…," you started seemingly out of blue, but there was a good reason for it - you needed to get it off your chest. Looking down to your lap, you noticed he was watching you. "Why don't you move in with me? I would cook for you and look after you. If your mother makes ruckus because of that, I will deal with her on my own. I just don't want you to stay in that place anymore…"

It was difficult to say those words, partially because you felt awkward for pulling off such a silly invitation, but the expression on his face made it up to you.

"Y-You wouldn't mind that?" Credence gasped and his tears immediately stopped.

"Of course not," you shook your head. "If I did, I wouldn't ask you. So, what do you say?" You brushed his extremely short fringe out of his forehead and smiled. He was so handsome even with his cheeks drenched with tears.

"W-Will you use a love potion on me?" he asked and pretended to be worried.

"What? N-no!" you shook your head again, much more violently this time. Credence chuckled and turned so he was facing your belly, pressing his face against it once more.

"I d-don't think you would have to," he muttered quietly. If there was any light in the room, you would see his ears turn bright red. You continued to caress his hair in silent puzzlement. What could he mean by that?

"Anyway, do you agree?" you repeated the question because trying to solve his riddle was making your head spin.

"I'm sorry, but… I can't. Not yet," he sighed and pressed to you a bit tighter.

"Why not?" You didn't understand what was stopping him. If you found yourself in his situation, you would eagerly grab the very first chance to leave Mary Lou Barebone's house!

"I can't tell you," he replied and sat up slowly. You watched him as he stared at your hands that rested in your lap now. "B-But when it's over, I think I would… like to live with you… if it's ok," he continued, chaining the words very slowly. His eyes timidly met your gaze and instantly summoned a swarm of butterflies to your stomach.

"I understand," you sighed. Somewhere in the back of your mind you couldn't help but worry about his little secret, but it was his decision worthy of respect. You asked about something else instead. "By the way, Credence… Does anyone else know about your… condition?"

"No," he answered in panic. "N-no one must know. No one."

"But I know," you objected.

"Y-You're special," he said just above a whisper. It deeply affected you. Resting your hands on his shoulders, you pressed your body against his chest and let him embrace you. God knows how long you stayed like that, but judging from Credence's relaxed breathing it was like a remedy for you both.

"Creed, I think another sip of the potion is in order," you commented when you finally realised his fever was returning.

"Oh no, not that again," he complained and let go of you reluctantly. You chuckled softly at how weird it was to hear him say that, because his tone hardly changed. You got out of the bed and before you left, you leaned down and pecked him on his sweaty forehead.

"I'll be back… Credence," you hummed, placing emphasis on his name.

Credence watched your back as you walked out of the bedroom and couldn't believe what had just happened. He got a kiss from you and you got his name right this time! Overcome by excitement, he collapsed on the bed and dug himself under the duvet in embarrassment.

-

It was the noise of traffic coming through the open window that woke you up next morning. Stretching your legs on the bed, you took your time adjusting your thoughts to what had happened last night. Whenever you slept really good, you felt a bit disconnected to the rest of the world in the morning. This time, however, you remembered rather quickly thanks to someone's skin grazing against your forearm.

Shuddering at the touch, you looked to your side. The initial shock of seeing Credence Barebone sleeping soundly by your side quickly dissolved as you recollected every detail of last evening. Then, your shock transformed into a pleasant surprise. Surprise, he was still in your apartment and not gone with the wind. Especially when he'd been so adamant about leaving for the night or his Ma would get angry.

Your lips melted into a sweet smile as you observed his chiselled features. He looked terribly sick, but definitely happy and relaxed. His forehead glistened and his hair damp from sweat. Carefully touching his face to check his temperature, you realised he was burning. You had to give him another dose of that disgusting brew of yours.

Crawling out of bed, you tried to find your slippers as you sat still half-asleep on the edge of the mattress. You noticed a huge stain from chicken soup on the carpet, remembering it got spilled when the Obscurus emerged. Making a mental note to clean it with Tergeo spell later, you tried to stand up, only to feel something tug on your shirt from behind.

"D-Don't leave," you heard Credence's groggy voice. Turning at him, you saw him gaze at you with swollen, sleepy eyes and runny nose.

"I'm not leaving you, I just wanted to get you the potion and something to drink," you replied softly and brushed his wet hair with your fingers. He smiled, happy that you showed him affection right from the morning.

"The potion," he sighed weakly and you shook your head.

"I know you hate it, but it's the best thing I can get you, trust me," you mimicked his sighing. "I could get you some No-Maj medicine I suppose, but that potion is far more effective."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to complain," he apologised, buried his face into the pillow and kept it there as if he didn't care if he suffocated in the process. His shoulders began to shake.

"Credence?" calling his name softly, you squeezed his shoulder. "You'll be fine, I promise."

He took his time before he said anything. In the end, he mumbled into the pillow.

"I d-don't want to go back, b-but-- I have to."

You chose to avoid urging him to stay with you, no matter how much you wanted. It would only frustrate him even more and it was the last thing he needed.

"You're scared of her, aren't you," you said instead, getting a silent nod out of him.

"I shouldn't have stayed here. S-She will… She will beat me again," he sniffled and it broke your heart in twain.

"I don't want to pressure you, but you know what I said. You can stay with me if you want, you offered again. Credence looked at you and tentatively took your hand which was still resting on his shoulder.

"Y-You're so kind, Miss (y/n)," he forced a smile.

"You can drop the Miss too, if you want," you smiled back. "Listen, do you have a curfew or something? When do you need to be back?" you wondered.

"At seven o'clock. Sometimes a bit later if Ma is in good mood, but it's not very often," he replied and you felt your stomach turning upside down. A young man that had to be home at seven o'clock? Who did she think he was, a preschooler? You fought of the expression of disgust on your face; Credence didn't deserve to see it.

"Ok, let's make a deal: Every day at six I will be waiting by the bank till quarter to seven. You're free to seek me whenever you need my help or just want to chat. I will heal your wounds and feed you if you're hungry," you proposed as you tried to reorganise your work schedule in your mind.

"You'd-- You'd really do all that for me?" he gasped. You simply nodded. You could tell him how you would do all that and even more, how it was painful to even think about the place he had to return to instead of staying in your apartment, and how you was starting to fall for him, but all those pieces of information were meaningless right now.

"Ma will-- she will hurt you if she finds out," Credence said darkly. A laugh escaped you and startled him.

"She can try! I took classes of defence against dark arts, you know?" you winked at him and he couldn't help but giggle at your cheerful reaction.

"Try to rest while you can, I will make breakfast and get you the potion," you affectionately brushed his cheekbone with your fingertips.

"Miss (y/n), you… you are probably the strongest person I know," he complimented you. It felt a bit misplaced, but who knows what was going through his mind.

"Nah," you shook your head. "But thank you. I'll be back."

You got up and walked out of the bedroom. Strong? No, you weren't strong in any sense of the word. You weren't the strongest witch and your personality wasn't particularly strong either, but you were strongly convinced of one thing: for Credence's sake you wanted to become as strong as you could be.

... Comment: I hope it was alright. Reader wants to be STRONG!

[dweeb707-blog]

Loyalty lies in old ties (Chapter 1)

(This is set 5 years after Jumin’s good ending and the two secret endings (but instead of MC being with 707 as a lover she is there for him as a friend).

*SPOILER FOR SECRET ENDINGS*

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In this fic V is gone. Saeran is recovering and is living with 707. Rika is MIA

The first few chapters will be here to build up the image of their relationship and set some background etc. Hope you guys enjoy! Let me know if you spot any mistakes or have any ideas you’d like to share with me!!! I’d also love any feedback since this is my first fic. Thank you guys!!!! )

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Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

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MC’S POV 

That’s when I saw it… saw her. I saw her, with her tiny frame leaning over into him, pressing everything she had against him. Her sunshine coloured curls were draping over the back of her flowing sundress. Her delicate arms wrapped around his broad shoulders. Her fingers intertwined in his raven locks. Her lips moulded into his; they seemed to fit his perfectly. No hesitation. No doubt. I felt my stomach begin to clench and form thick knots. Why was this happening? I didn’t understand. He promised me forever. Who knew forever would end so quickly.

      5 years ago

    After the announcement at the RFA party Jumin’s father had decided to politely ask him to step down. He realised how serious Jumin had felt about me and how serious he had also felt about the company so his father decided ask him to remove himself in order for Jumin to start fresh and build up his own business. It was a huge blow to Jumin but I had supported him endlessly and helped push him back onto his feet. He had already bought the penthouse off of his father before this ordeal so I ended up moving in with him in attempts to help him progress. With money that he had stashed away from all the years working at his fathers company, Jumin decided it was time to build his own empire up. He invested in creating a company where he was in full control and where he knew no scandals would affect the revenue (because he knew he would never cause any female related scandals). While he was setting up I did as much as a could, also working late hours with him in order to help make his new start in the business world a success. Over the course of a few months he had began to rise back up the ranks.

  It had been around a year since I hosted my first RFA party and I was now replying to around 50 emails a day from potential guests for the next one. Although it seemed to be an overwhelming amount I was managing to enjoy sifting through it all. It felt great knowing that everyone in the RFA had welcomed me into their family and in addition to this, due to the amazing response I had received from the previous guests, I had now become their full time party planner.  I did this while also working under Jumin. Everything I held dear was wrapping itself together. I was married to the man of my dreams, working a fulfilling job and living a life I never could have imagined myself in. It was a comforting feeling knowing me and Jumin had overcome so much to get here but it was all worth it.

  After replying to the last email of the day I looked up at the office clock. It was nearly 10pm. I took a quick glance around the empty office. Everyone else had already headed home hours ago. Ever since Jumin had set up properly we both agreed to always finish at 10pm and head home together. Even if there was urgent work to be done we would still leave at 10pm and work through it at home. A schedule was good, it meant he no longer worked himself into the ground and it also meant I had the pleasure of getting to fall asleep next to him on most nights. I quickly shut down the computer system and stood up while smoothening out the creases on my dress. I pulled out a little compact from my bag and took a quick glance at it to make sure I looked ok. Just as I reached over to place it back into my bag I felt a pair of familiar, muscular arms wrap themselves around my waist.

  “Ready to head home kitten” Jumin whispers gently.

  “Yes dear, right after I leave this on Jaehee’s desk” I replied as I pulled up an envelope from the edge of my desk.

  “Is that her birthday surprise?” Jumin asked gently with his face now buried in my hair.

  I nodded in response as I finished packing up my bag. In the envelope a card held tickets to a cruise tour that spanned over the space of 2 months. She sure as hell deserved some time off. When Jumin had announced that we were building up a company together she had left C&R international immediately to join us. We wouldn’t have made it through the first few days let alone the last year without her. When I suggested that Jumin should offer her a week or two off he actually ended up insisting that it should be longer. I was still getting used to the softer side that I had brought out in him. So in the end we decided to schedule time off in addition to booking her a cruise where she could leisurely explore in her time off over her birthday.

  I slowly turned around so I was face to face with Jumin and smiled up at him. His face softened as he looked down at me and peppered my face lightly with kisses. I giggled while playfully pushing him off.

  “If you don’t let me go we’ll end up being here all night”

  “Any time with you is precious my love, regardless of where it is spent” He responded while moving his hands up to cup my face.

  I pushed myself up on my toes and planted a long, deep kiss onto his tender lips. I could taste the coffee on his breath mixed in with a tinge of spearmint. I felt engulfed in warmth. One of the things I loved the most about Jumin was how each kiss with him felt like the first, so raw and full of passion. None of them were half invested. It felt like he was pouring all of his love into me each time our lips met. I felt a smile slowly appear near the end of our kiss.

  “I thought you wanted us to leave kitten, yet you’re the one standing here enticing me,” He said while revealing a cheeky smirk.

  I playfully slapped him on the chest and marched off towards Jaehee’s desk while pouting. He laughed while watching me dramatically slam the envelope into one of the draws in her desk. I crossed my arms and attempted to put on an angry face but that just made Jumin laugh slightly harder. He quickly strode towards me and in one swift moment he threw me over his shoulder while pulling out his phone.

“Driver Kim? Yes we’re making our way down now. See you shortly” He quickly hung up and deposited his phone into his pocket while walking toward the elevator.

  “Time to go home princess” Jumin said while gently lowering me to the ground and planting a kiss onto my forehead.

(NEXT CHAPTER)

[sugarkitten-mamahoney]

COVID-19 feat. PLUR

Post: #13

Date: Thursday— April 9, 2020

Time: 11:11 PM Mtn Standard

Topic: PLUR

Mood: full, sleepy, exhausted, chill, content

As I have mentioned on my previous post, I’m doing my best to stay on top of this blog and post more content so this will be a little bit about PLUR. I feel like we could use a lot of PLUR vibes at this time during the COVID-19 pandemic.

I know a lot of you may not know the meaning of PLUR or where it comes from but this is what I have learned from being apart of the EDM scene for a few years.

PLUR originated in the rave scene years ago, and each letter stands for a different meaning, and together you get “plur.”

❀ P — Peace

❀ L — Love

❀ U — Unity

❀ R — Respect

All of the words are pretty self-explanatory but I feel like the aspect of PLUR is what truly got me into raving and of course not everyone really understands it, and that is okay. There are still a lot of people who are truly against raving because they have preexisting assumptions about what actually happens at raves and festivals. Let me just tell you, not everyone attends events just to go haywire on drugs and/or alcohol, and if they do then that’s their own business and it is in the PLUR code to not judge others. I personally never was under the influence when I’d attend EDM fests and I never once made a big deal about someone who was, because that is their choice, not mine. It’s all about being PLUR.

Anyway, I feel like the world is missing a lot of peace, love, unity, and respect at this time. I felt like sharing some with all of you so we can remember that we are all human and we are capable of surviving this pandemic.

❀ Peace. What does peace mean to me?

To me, peace means being fully content with yourself and others. It means to forgive and learn from the pain, mistakes, and bad choices. Peace means to find love within your heart and your mind, to always fall back on yourself and trust that everything really is okay.

✩ During this time, finding peace may be extremely difficult and it’s okay to be scared and unsure, this is an entirely new virus we are dealing with and everything from the quarantine to the numbers of cases and deaths are worrying and scary. Use this time to listen to the CDC and socially distance yourself from others and focus on self care and meditating of some type. Find new hobbies to do, write a letter or two, read a new or old book, or try something new. Slowly move away from the fearfulness and move toward finding your inner peace. We are all in the same boat and we can be alone together.

❀ Love. What does love mean to me?

To me, love means to feel passion so intensely, that it radiates within your body and takes over your soul as well. It means you find your one bright & warm sparkle in this world full of billions of duller sparkles and you feel happy, scared, confused, and amazing all at once. Love is wanting to always protect and remain loyal until you leave this lifetime.

✩ During this time, you may feel every other emotion other than love. It’s hard to find love when there are crazy people out there making this pandemic an even scarier experience. It’s unsettling seeing stores with empty shelves from panic buyers, elderly scared to leave their homes to find groceries and basic necessities, and people not listening to CDC guidelines and still out and about not caring. Use this time to reteach yourself to love yourself and focus on spreading love to others from home. You have a lot to offer, sending a random, thoughtful text to family and close friends goes a long way. There are others who are in deep holes right now and just showing some compassion and sharing the love by kindly reminding them to wash their hands and stay home as much as possible over text shows you care about them and love them.

❀ Unity. What does unity mean to me?

To me, unity means to come together despite everyone’s differences. It means to be accepting of others and yourself and be a team to achieve whatever the goal is, whether it’s a group project or a happier environment. Unity means to remain judgement-free, show support, and always be courteous and mindful.

✩ During this time, you may not understand how unity plays a role in our lives when we are all being forced to stay home for our health and safety... but this is the biggest time where we can all depend on unity to help us get through this virus. We can all come together, online and of course in spirit, to be there for one another and be each other’s support. We are all hurting and being affected by this pandemic and it means so much knowing you have billions of people who are supportive and there for you. As a non-essential SAHM, Daddy is our essential worker from our household and I know it means a lot to him knowing we all are supportive of him from a distance because we need him. All of our essential workers need us all to be their backbone as we continue to come together, online or in spirit, to help in any way that we possibly can. We need you, they need us, we really are all one.

❀ Respect. What does respect mean to me?

To me, respect means to treat others the way you would like to be treated. It means to hold a greater character from your standard mindset and demeanor and show common courtesy. Respect means to always be open minded and treat others and yourself like a temple, there is no room to desecrate or belittle others or yourself, ever.

✩ During this time, respect is very important to just about everything and everyone. First and foremost, the CDC deserves respect for providing the public with simple and life-saving guidelines during this pandemic. You can show them respect simply by listening to their suggestions to protect yourselves and others. The government deserves respect, even if you disagree with them, because they are backing up the CDC and doing everything they can to protect us as citizens from the COVID-19. The essential workers from health care workers, truck drivers, janitors, automotive technicians, coal miners, grocery store employees, news anchors, police officers, first responders, veterinarians, fast food employees, etc. all deserve a huge amount of respect, support, and everything above. They are risking their lives to help keep the world running and of course helping us all against the fight with the coronavirus. Our elders, pregnant women, infants, and others who are health-compromised deserve our respect and we can show that simply by checking on them by phone calls or texts and protecting them by staying home, and practicing good hygiene. Mother Earth deserves respect for surviving through this virus and of course through everyday life. She has survived from natural disasters, pollution, deforestation, fires, etc. and she always deserves our respect and protection. Last but not least, you. You deserve respect and you can respect yourself during this time by following all guidelines from the CDC and your local government.

Stay home, avoid large crowds, wash your hands, avoid touching your face, and please educate yourself on the COVID-19 symptoms and do not panic. We are all in this together and we will survive it. Keep it PLUR loves. Goodnight. ❤️

[blkwidowsweb]

Dawn Tallman: Ministering Through The Music

Known as the Queen of Gospel Energy, Recording Artist and Song Writer, Dawn Tallman is a gifted singer with an anointed voice.  Her voice has been heard across dance floors around the world.  Full of love, high energy, and positivity, she is able to uplift and encourage while making you dance.  I was thrilled to be able to chat with Dawn about the messages in her music, her career and her impact on the House and Dance Music Scene. 

Black Widow:   Tell me about your background and how you began singing?

Dawn Tallman: My background is rooted in the church.  When I was a little girl around 1, my mom said I’d sing all the commercials on TV. I would jump off her lap and rock back and forth and sing all the songs. My mom knew that there was something special inside of me. She knew I had a gift.   I started singing in church. I had my first concert at 5 years at old at church.  This wasn’t a kid choir it was an actual concert.   I remember that moment.  As a kid it felt like a million people looking at me from that pulpit.  I remember the look of happiness on their faces. I knew this was what I wanted to do. Putting smiles on people’s faces because I could sing? Yeah…

Growing up in church and then getting older, I started exploring other kinds of music like R&B and I started doing that for a while.  You know doing R&B you had those stigmas you had to fight against.

Black Widow: Like what?  What were some of those obstacles?

Dawn Tallman:  You know…it’s about the look.  I got those typical responses.  I was too big but I could sing my butt off.  I didn’t have a certain look.   I was doing the “Kelly Price” thing.  You know my voice was always accepted. I was doing hooks and working doing background vocals, but when it was time to be out front, they weren’t having that.   It was very discouraging.

Black Widow:  That had to be frustrating and discouraging.  If you let it get on the inside of you, it can be damaging.

Dawn Tallman: Absolutely!

Black Widow:  How did it affect you and/or motivate you to keep doing what you are doing?

Dawn Tallman:   I always believed in what I was doing and my foundation is rooted in my faith. I knew this was a gift from God and my gift was going to make room for me.  So I knew to keep pushing.   Of course, It bothered me and I was hurt but I had a fire inside of me and determination, so  I pushed through that hurt and kept going but everyone can’t do that.

Black Widow:   Faith will push you through things others would never be able to deal with.  Who were some of your earlier influences?

Dawn Tallman: Girl yes!!!!   You know I love music.  My dad listened to a lot of Johnny Mathis and Nat King Cole.  I was influenced by different artists, not just gospel. I loved Aretha Franklin, Vanessa Bell Armstrong…artist like those. That kind of stuff.

Black Widow:  My mom used to say to me, there are some people who can sing and there are others whose voices are anointed. The ones who are anointed will touch you in deeply personal ways. I can tell you, some of your songs have gotten me through some really rough patches in my life.  In particular, when my divorce became final, I heard “For me” at the club and was in tears.  They were happy tears tho…

Dawn Tallman:  Oh wow…we have a lot in common.  Those songs were written from real life experiences.  They were birthed from a bad marriage/divorce/relationship and I was in a dark place.  During that time, that light bulb switched and that inner voice said, “Wait…you don’t have to be in this. You have a choice.  You can get out of this”.    It took a minute.  It took my faith and it took work. God isn’t going to sit there and pull you out; you got to do the work.

Black Widow:  and it’s hard… it’s really hard…

Dawn Tallman:  Yes it is.  It takes time and it takes work.  It’s very hard. You have a choice but it is not easy. There are days now where I have to remember what I sing and the testimonies I get from people.  I still have to keep going even when I may not feel like it.  It’s my ministry.

Black Widow:   Your music makes people feel something. It’s not just the kind of music you sing but the way you sing it.   Your faith comes through your music. How has your faith influenced you as an artist?

Dawn Tallman:  These songs are birthed from real stories and situations. Of course, I can write a song about whatever because I’m an artist. That’s what we do.   My faith is the foundation. That’s where these songs from.  These lyrics are powerful, and you got to have faith to sing them and to convey those messages where people can feel it. It’s not just me performing, it’s my testimony.

Black Widow:  You have songs I play to remind me that I got this or songs that remind me that even when I make mistakes; I’m still going to be ok.    They stay in rotation on my playlist especially when my faith is challenged.  I’m not going to lie to you; I’ve burst into tears in the middle of a dance floor!  

Dawn Tallman:  You know… the lights, camera... action… stuff is cool but this is real ministry for me.  My ministry is not in the four walls of a church it’s out here.  I’ve ministered to myself in a club sometimes.  It’s always my prayer that what I say or what I sing will touch someone. It’s a career and I love it but more than anything, I want someone to be touched, transformed or have their heart changed from my music. I’ve received so many testimonies from people telling me some of my songs have really pulled them through hard times.

Black Widow:  Those are the reminders you are doing what you are doing what you have been called to do.  You’ve made some awesome music with Josh Milan. How did you guys start collaborating?

Dawn Tallman:  He’s my partner and best friend.   When we did, “For Me”, he just knew what to say.  God really used him musically.  I mean… WHOA…what I couldn’t write, he knew exactly what to say.

Black Widow: When you have a partner or someone you collaborate with that knows you like that…

Dawn Tallman:  WHEW Girl!!!

Black Widow: Those collaborations are priceless. You know we make mistakes and we are human.   Songs like this remind me that you can fall down and get back up again.

Dawn Tallman: “For Me” was one of those songs that I ministered to myself with.  You know, we have a choice to be happy. It may be hard but I’m making a conscious decision to be happy no matter what.

Black Widow:   YES! YES! I completely relate!   Happiness is truly a choice!   How did house music come into play?

Dawn Tallman:  I first heard songs like “Follow Me”, “Break for Love” etc. when I would go out to clubs. I just remember that feeling when I heard it…it was crazy.   I was at a wedding about 20 years ago and met Juan Coon. He was a producer and loved my voice. He asked me to do some music with him and I put out a single with him.  In the early 90s, I did a song called, “Caught in Love” on K4B records with producers K London Posse.  This record was like fate, it just took off. Then Benji Candalario did a remix. He was a huge producer/remixer in the 90s and that record did phenomenal.  I did my very first show at the Sound Factory Bar with Barbara Tucker, Don Welch and Louie Vega and I was hooked. 

When I went to that club it was a whole new world I never knew existed.  Everyone was just free and having a ball.   They didn’t care that I was big. They didn’t care how I looked; they just loved me and my voice.  I was accepted here.  No one was telling me how to look or anything, they just said, “Girl keep singing”!!!

LAUGHTER!

Dawn Tallman:  It felt like I was walking into this family and I was accepted and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Black Widow:   That’s what I love about this scene; it’s a lot of kids in these clubs that went out to be accepted.  It’s very come as you are…

Dawn Tallman:     Yeah you come to dance, be free and have a good time.

Black Widow:   Let’s talk about your creative process.  You mentioned your songs come from real life experiences.  Do you have moments of writers block? How do you combat it?

Dawn Tallman:  You know around the time of “For me”, I struggled.  That’s where Josh came in. Like I said, he was able to write the words I couldn’t at that time and we were so connected, he really conveyed what I wanted to say.  I most definitely get times when I just don’t have it in me.     You have to try to push yourself out of it but if you force it, it’s not going to be authentic. Sometimes you have to ride it out.  Sometimes I feel like I’m not creative, I’m not hearing nothing…I’m just not feeling it.   Once I get back in, then it slowly comes back.   I will force myself to write because you don’t want it to linger to long. 

Black Widow:    I’ve definitely been there.  Sometimes I’ll just write whatever I’m feeling. It won’t necessarily be a song; it may just be my personal writing in my journals.  Writing is a muscle and you must exercise it…you know?

Dawn Tallman:   OMG! I was going to say the same thing…even if it’s in my journals. Write something and write exactly how you feel…just write everything; that inspiration and creativity will come back to you. 

Black Widow:    Writing is my therapy.  Sometimes the songs I write are sermons to myself.  Do you feel the same way about performing?

Dawn Tallman:   Oh yes! I totally understand.  You know...what we do has to bless us first before it’s blesses the people. That’s the only way people can feel it.  You have to be open, you have to be vulnerable.

Black Widow:   It’s about releasing fear…

Dawn Tallman: Yes!  That’s where my song, “I’m not afraid came from”.  It’s about embracing it all.    You can’t be so diva-fied” because people can’t connect with you that way.

Black Widow:   When you are vulnerable, you are putting yourself out there and sometimes it ain’t pretty.  Is there a fear in that?

Dawn Tallman:   Nope…not for me. That’s artistry.  When people see that from you, they connect to it.  You become human.  I try to keep it 100 but there’s a difference between being vulnerable and letting people inside your person.    It’s a balance between being vulnerable and allowing people inside your personal space.  I’m a firm believer that you overcome by the words of your testimony. You can’t keep it in.  Even if it’s only one person…it matters.  You just never know.  I try to be open and vulnerable because I need people to see I’m human just like you, I make mistakes just like anyone else, I’m figuring it all out just like you.    These songs pour into me and I want to pour them into someone else.

Black Widow: it makes you relatable.

Dawn Tallman: …and Human.  There’s a difference between being too familiar with you and being vulnerable. 

Black Widow:   I’m most certainly learning about creating those boundaries.

Dawn Tallman:  You got to learn how to discern and decipher.  

Black Widow:  Because we are human and go through stuff, it doesn’t stop the job! How do you press through performances when real life is complicated?

Dawn Tallman:  it seems like when I’m going through it in real life, those are my most powerful performances!  

Black Widow:   Out of great pain comes great art sometimes. 

Dawn Tallman: Girl yes!!!! Even when you are dealing with stuff, you got to remember people have decided to come out and pay their money to see you and you never know what people are going to receive from your performance.     Sometimes the songs I sing, minister to me while I’m ministering to someone else.

Black Widow:  Ministering to yourself through your own music.

Dawn Tallman:  It’s a powerful gift. 

Black Widow:  I have told my parents that I’ve had the same experiences they have in church in a club sometimes. It really can be transformative and a completely spiritual experience.    That’s a deeper connection with your audience that cannot be faked.

Dawn Tallman:  There are going to be people who may never go to church. I may not be stuffing church down your throat but you will be encouraged and uplifted.  That’s why I remain open; you don’t know what people are going through.  I have to be willing to strip myself down and connect with people; it’s what draws people to me. 

Black Widow:  How do you balance career, family and motherhood?

Dawn Tallman:  You know it’s hard. I’m sure you know what I mean.   It’s so difficult.  It’s hard because of the type of business I’m in. It’s not a 9-5 where I can turn it off at the end of the night. It’s the music industry… I can get a call tonight that Beyoncé wants me to record…and I got to work all of this out! You know?

Laughter!

Black Widow:   Girl yes! Absolutely! That’s a call you aren’t gonna miss! LOL

Dawn Tallman:  It’s hard to juggle but it can be done. It’s difficult…there are times I have to turn it off. I have to set aside those moments. I have to turn my phone off; it’s a conscious decision and just have that quality time.  It can be a lot but you know…we do what we have to do.  I am the caretaker; it’s all on me so I’m out here making it happen. I don’t just sing house music, I sing in two wedding bands, I sing in a jazz band, I do background vocals for jazz artists.   I’m all over the place sometimes.  Being on the road, motherhood doesn’t stop. I was just in Russia but I’m on the phone making sure my kids are good, homework is done, and everyone is on point.  It’s hard to balance but it gets’ done.   It’s what we do. 

Black Widow:  Tell me about it! We always do!   So, let’s talk about the party!   I’m excited to see and hear you perform. What can we all expect? 

Dawn Tallman:  GIRL!!!!  I’m coming with the heavenly choir!!

{LAUGHTER}

Dawn Tallman:   I’m excited!  I’m coming with an open heart and ready to do what I do. I’m bringing the fire with me tho!  I’m ready to bless the people. It’s going to be such a great night!   Bring the tambourines!!!

Black Widow:   Well if you see a girl with curly hair dancing and singing every lyric…that’s me!  I can’t wait. Thanks so much for speaking with me today. I look forward to hearing you sing!

Dawn Tallman:  Absolutely! I can’t wait. It’s been a pleasure.

Check out Dawn Tallman at the following:

www.dawntallman.com

On Facebook: @Dawntallman1

On Twitter:  @dawntallman

On Instagram:  @dawntallman

On Traxsource

Hope you enjoyed this week's interview! As always, see ya on a Dance Floor!

Black Widow