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chaionthemoon · 16 days

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Is this… Chapter 2? 👁️👁️

An Endless Existence

Chapter 2

Notes:

This might be absolute dog water, idk. White is finally introduced in this chapter and the plot unfolds-

Now that this chapter is out, I feel a lot better and gonna take a few days break to draw references before starting on chapter 3. Gonna try and post it a week from now the same as chapter 2 was posted. Maybe I’ll make a schedule where I post a chapter once a week. More art is def coming soon tho-

Word count: 3.7k

Orange Diamond was in a frenzy for the past few moons trying to arrange everything for the Ball that Yellow would host. If this were any ball, the standards would be more reasonable, however, given that Yellows court needed to impress White enough, especially Orange, everything needed to be perfected on Oranges end. Orange either had everything to gain, or everything to loose.

On one hand, she could be promoted to Yellow’s apprentice, in which case she would experience a type of prestige that almost none of the other Minor Diamonds (aside from Black Diamond) had. She would no longer be equals to Crimson, nor Moon Diamond, and not even Cullinan Diamond would outshine her. She would have a proper title, a Proper seat besides a Diamond Authority member. Orange had never cared about power before hand. She gave little thought to advancing her position because she believed she would never be good enough to be considered for this, however with the information of her possible promotion, Orange came to realize that she possibly had more to offer than she previously thought.

“Best behavior Orange,” Yellow came up from behind her and spoke out to her as Orange stod in the main throne room, observing gems set up the decorations. “ It is your standard set of rules: You are not to speak to anyone unless you are spoken to. You are not to stand unless you are greeting and bowing for each Diamond Authority member. When addressing a Diamond, you are to say “My Diamond” and not making direct eye contact until its your turn to speak.” Yellow continued with her list of rules, which centered around Orange having as little contact with the other diamonds as much as possible unless it couldn't be avoided.

“My Diamond…” Orange interceeded as Yellow slowly ended her lecture. Yellow stopped and turned to Orange, now expectant to hear what the minor diamond had to say. “You will not have to worry about me. I will not make a fool of you or your court as I hold you in the highest esteem. I will be sure to conduct myself in a way that would be more than satisfiable within your court.” Orange paused and then added “Its the least I can do after all you've done for me. You did not have to accept me into your court, you did not have to take the time to teach me how to be a proper minor diamond, yet you did. And I owe you my gratitude and loyalty till the day I am dust.”

Yellow didnt say anything. She didn't need to though, as Orange could see the gratitude written on her face, the proudness, and it make Orange want to cry. She would never as she would have been dismissed or thrown out into the hallway to avoid any gems from seeing her in a disheveled state.

“Oh, and one more thing before I forget-” Yellow turns towards her throne and motions the right hand side of it. Besides the throne was Oranges own seat. Orange examined the seat that had been placed for her. It was smaller and less grand that yellow Diamonds own throne, and it certainly paled in comparison as it was right next to Yellows throne, however Orange smiled upon seeing the seat for her. It was a place for her, a certainty that she was wanted by Yellow, and so she took pride as she sat upon her seat, feeling how it was made just for her and how it fit her perfectly.

Maybe she was meant to be Yellow's Apprentice…

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Finally the time had come for the Ball.

The first to enter would be Pink Diamond, as it was

going in order from youngest to oldest. Yellow would not enter as she was the host, so Orange sat anxiously next to Yellow Diamond, playing with her thumbs.

Upon hearing the chimes that signalled Pink Diamond, Orange perked her head up, now paying attention.

“Everyone pay witness to the vision and warmth that

is Pink Diamond.” A pearl announced and Orange quickly turned her attention to the small gem. As the curtains parted, pink Diamond made her entrance, with her naval gem sparkling, and immediately bringing smiles to the faces of gems nearest to her. Pink entering first didn’t surprise Orange in the slightest as she was the one who had made all of the arrangements and planned for this to happen. The order was to occur Pink, Blue, and lastly White before the music and dancing started.

Pink walked up down the center of the walkway, with her pearl following right behind her with her head down and Orange quickly understood that this must be her new Pearl, as this pearl bore little resemblance to Pink in any way. The only indicator that she belonged to pink was the pink diamond that was placed across her clothing and the pink skirt she wore. If anything, if she were placed in more pale and monochromatic clothing, orange was sure she would have belonged to White Diamond. As she watched Pink Diamond, Orange had not realized how small the diamond actually was. Sue she had heard she was short, but she didn't imagine that Pink would be able to fit within her own arms. It certainly was startling, but Orange quickly got over it as if she didn't she as sure she would somehow offend Pink.

“Yellow, I thank you for your consideration to inviting me” Pink smiled and gave a small laugh. It was clear that she was unserious about the situation at hand, and Orange felt herself understanding more about Crimson. If this was Crimson’s Diamond, then it was understanding why Crimson was so unserious about her own duties and expectations…

“Of course Pink, Welcome…” The welcome was brief and Orange could tell that Yellow was trying her best to say anything regarding Pinks casualness and lack of etiquette.

“And Orange!” Pink bounced up onto the arm rest of Yellow Diamonds throne so that she would have the chance to be able to see Orange Diamond better. “Its a pleasure to finally meet you. Yellow has mentioned you a lot, and im glad to finally put a face to your name. Its great your finally able to attend one of the balls.”

“Thank you my diamond.” Orange bowed to Pink “It brings me joy to know that Yellow talks of me. I hope you have a lovely time.” Orange smiled and looked back down to her feet.

Pink smiled, and hopped down from the throne, Yellow slightly fumming. It seems even the Diamond Authority has strict rules on how they can act with one another and in front of other gems. Behind closed doors Yellow wasn't as strict with presentability, bit in front of anyone else but Yellow and Canary, Orange had to be perfect.

The signal for the next diamond to be introduced was sounded, and this time it was for Blue Diamond. Blue Diamonds Pearl walked up to the curtains and spoke out: “Everyone prepare yourselves emotionally for the over powering elegance that is Blue Diamond.”

Blue entered, and as Orange looked at her, she couldn't help but see both Moon diamond and Teal within Blue. It should be the other way around, Moon and Teal should be the ones to look like Blue Diamond, But given this was Orange’s first time seeing Blue in person and knowing only of Moon and Teal, it was hard to make Blue diamond her first point of reference. Orange quickly stood and bowed for Blue Diamond, making the diamond insignia with her hands in front of her chest.

“Blue, Thank you for your attendance.” Yellow stood as well and gave a small nod towards Blue. Blue approached Yellow’s side of the throne room to first greet Yellow, and then she turned her head to Orange Diamond, who was still looking downwards.

“Ah, and you must be Orange Diamond.” Blue observed Orange. “What a pretty gem you are.”

Orange looked upwards and gave another bow and placed her hands in front of her. “Thank you my Diamond. I am unworthy of such kind words from a gem of your radiance.”

“And she is polite. I would have expected no less of a pick for an apprentice from you Yellow.” Blue gave a small smile and turned to Yellow who also had a smirk on her face. Blue then made her way to her throne and sat down upon it, as the Aquamarines rushed to get ready for the next Diamond.

This was it, Orange thought to herself, and braced herself. She wasn't sure what to expect from White, but she knew that whatever it was, it would be intense.

“To Everyone attending, presenting our glorious and dignified Leader that is White Diamond.” White Diamond’s Pearl announced

Just as White was announced, the curtains parted. If Orange thought that Yellow and Blue were tall, White was even taller than them. She entered in a grand fashion, and the second thing that Orange noticed was the cape that followed behind her. It looked as if it were made up the black matter of space, it shone like it was its own galaxy, or perhaps it was the light that came from White that made it shine in the first place. Her makeup was also done up in a way that Orange had never seen on a gem. Orange pulled her eyes away from White though, as hard as it was to do so, and turned her attention instead to the dark shadow that followed behind her. White was too bright to have a shadow, no, this shadow was no one other than Black Diamond. Black stood as tall as Yellow or Blue did, though it was noticeable by her gem cut that she was also a minor diamond still. Where White brightened, Black dimmed. It almost evened out the room’s lightning, and there was the sense that they simply complimented one another nicely.

As White approached Yellow, Orange stood up and bowed, unjust as she had done for the other two diamonds.

“Yellow, lovely Ball you have set up, one of your best yet…” White complimented, and shone a smile upon Yellow. Orange kept her head down just as she had done previously, scared to let White see her, see her face because she was sure it would give away how terrified she was.

“Thank you White, though compliments go to Orange Diamond for this lovely display.” Yellow motioned to Orange.

“Ah.” Was all White said as she spared a little glance over to Orange and then made her way to her seat. That wasn't terrible, Orange thought to herself as she sat back down within her seat, shaking a bit. White didn't scrutinize her or dismiss her from the room, so she must have passed the first of many tests.

The ball soon started, with many gems approaching the dance floor and dancing in an almost mechanical way. It was fluid but rather off putting, but so was the rest of Homeworld to Orange so it really didn't stand out that much. As she overwatched the music and the dancing, Orange got a nagging feeling in her gem. This feeling had started to become more often after Yellow had named Orange her Apprentice, and she didn't like it one bit. It was annoying, and she was sure it was just her anxiety acting up once more.

Orange made the mistake of looking around her to the other diamonds now. She first turned to look at Pink and her pearl, who were talking about something and rather close to one another. That looked rather odd, Orange thought to herself. Then she turned her attention to Blue Diamond. Her pearl stood beside her throne but not too close, as blue closed her eyes and listened to the music, paying no mind to the dancers it seemed. Fair, the dancing wasn't very good. And lastly, Orange craned her neck as much as she could without making it obvious that she was looking up. She could see Black Diamond in the corner of her eye, though she couldn't see specifics like weather Black had a approving look on her face, but knowing black, she most likely didn't. She was hard to please, or at least that is what is said (by Crimson…). Orange tried to lift her head even more, as she couldn't see White Diamond yet-

“Orange…” Yellow whispered to her as she took notice of the younger diamond, and without needing to say anything else Orange turned her head back down and towards the dance floor. She internally scolded herself for her curiosity, but she really couldn't help it. It wasn't every day that a minor diamond like her got to see the leader of all of gemkind. White was an enigma of all of their imaginations (except Black), and so having some curiosity about her should be considered understandable. And unfortunately, she still held that curiosity, as she didn't even get a chance to look at White properly yet.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur, as gems came and went on and off the dance floor as scheduled for their sections. By the end of the night, Orange could even say that she thought the music wasn't half as bad as she thought (though she may have conditioned herself into thinking that just to make the evening more bearable). And soon enough, the closing ceremony was taking place, and then gems were dismissed to go back to their duties.

“Yellow, I would like to observe Orange Diamond in a more private setting.” White announced after the rest of the attending gems had left and it was only the diamonds within the throne room now.

Both Orange and Yellow stopped in their tracks upon hearing this and turned to White. Both Pink and Blue also turned to white, before she dismissed them from the room. White then turned to Yellow and without having to say anything, Yellow, yellow’s Pearl, Black and Orange followed behind White Diamond, with Black and Orange walking side by side.

Orange followed closely behind Yellow, making sure to keep close to her and look down at her feet the whole time to avoid causing any type of misunderstanding or offense to White. Orange suddenly got a feeling within her gem that someone was watching her again. She tried to shake the feeling, the feeling of a pair of eyes on her, but she couldn't, and it frustrated her. Finally, her anxiety got the best of her and she looked up for the first time since leaving the ball, and looked around her, finally finding her opposers eyes. The eyes in questioned belonged to Black Diamond this time. It took a second for Orange to process this through her mind as she didn't think it would be black staring her now, but before she could think anything about it Black looked away from her. Orange thought it odd, as Black has seen her a handful of times, but this time she must have been analyzing Orange. Orange eventually shrugged it off as they exited off the warp and into the private quarters of the Diamond Authority.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

From the time that Orange, Yellow, White and Black Diamond had all entered the room, Orange felt as though she was proving herself in everything she did.

“Come forward Orange Diamond.” White beckoned her with a single finger of herself abd pointed expectantly to the spot in front of her. Orange obeyed, looking to Yellow for assurance before walking forward and standing in front of White Diamond.

White circled her, and Orange couldn't help but feel a kin to the organic creatures that were typically considered prey, and White the Predator. Orange knew all White needed was one flaw with her to justify throwing her out, completely shattering her. Weather White decided to do so or not was now out of Oranges power, and so all she could do was stand there and subject herself to the possible scrutiny of White Diamond.

“Hm, Decent enough gem shape and structure…” White lightly scraped the surface of Oranges gem with one of her finger nails and Orange gave a small shudder. Orange still had her head downward until she felt that same nail make its way up and under her chin to lift her head. As she did, and finally opened her eyes, she found herself face to face with the gem who ruled the whole galaxy. Being so close to her allowed Orange the chance to closely observe her face. She was one of the most beautiful gems that Orange had ever seen, and she blushed upon realizing that. Even her eyes, though void of black pupils and could be considered offsetting, they suited White Diamond perfectly.

White took a step back, folding her arms over her chest still clearly deep in thought “Yellow, make your case for this minor diamond. Why have you chosen her out of all your options?”

“As you are aware, Orange was not a planned diamond.” Orange pursed her lips at Yellows opening sentence. Yeah, this might not go too well… “She was found hundreds of years after her emergence from Jupiter, and was promptly escorted to Homeworld where it was confirmed that the cut of her gem was flawless.” Yellow paused, looking to Orange Diamond. Despite the little interactions that Yellow and Orange have had outside of work, Orange couldn't help but trust Yellow Diamond. “I decided to take a chance on her, and Im glad I did as she has more than proved herself within my Court. I would be fortunate as a Diamond to have her as an apprentice.”

White then turned to Orange once more. Her body radiated heat off of her, and standing so close to her made Orange’s form start to feel uncomfortable. “And what makes you more qualified than any other Minor Diamond to become an Apprentice? Why should I not place Cullinan Diamond in your place instead, as I know her quality of work is on par with what is required of an Apprentice.”

Orange knew she should tell White what she could do, what she was capable of, but she knew that White wouldn't accept any of it unless she could see for herself. Orange bit the corner of her lip, knowing she was gonna regret what came out of her mouth next: “I could list to you my qualities, my experience, my loyalty to Yellow Diamonds Court and the Diamond Authority, however I think no matter what I say, you will still have some reluctance of me. Words are futile, and have no real depth to them. Any gem could say anything they want, however action takes dedication, So all I can say is that you will have to observe for yourself. I beg you to give me a chance to prove myself before you, that way you have ample time to make a decision. If within whatever time frame you give me I do not meet your expectations then you may do with me what you like.” White remained quiet, however, Orange could now see something akin to a spark within her eyes. Obviously, now Orange had stood out to white in a way she previously had not. Where orange had gotten the confidence to speak out, she would never know.

“Hm. What a wonderful suggestion.” There seemed to be no sarcasm behind Whites words and Orange internally sighed a sigh of relief. “Alright then, you now have my attention. Ill give you a chance to prove yourself, however, you will do so on my terms” White tilted her head, and spoke as if she were speaking to inferior life forms. This did not help with Oranges confusion or make her feel any better about it.

“I don't understand…” Orange raised an eyebrow, not understanding what white meant with such a cryptic response.

“What do you have in mind White?” Yellow stepped forward now and besides Orange, almost as if concerned for the younger Diamond.

“For a short period of time- say… 5,000 years? I will observe Orange Diamond and her ethic of work. She will be analyzed by how quickly, how accurate and how graceful her work productivity is.” White smiled, and Orange thought for a second she could see something more within her smile. Something more plotting…

“Is 5,000 years truly necessary White? Orange is my best assistant with my colonies. What will I do without her for such a long period of time?”

“How about Canary Diamond? This will give you a chance to be stricter with Canary Diamond, and teach her just as you've taught Orange Diamond here… That way by the time Orange returns to your court, you will have two competent minor diamonds.” By Whites tone of voice, it wasn't something she wanted to discuss any further. Her mind was made up, and she was simply informing Yellow rather than asking her. Orange grew nervous as she Felt White approach once more.

Yellow, being defeated by White Diamonds will, took a step back, surrendering her place besides Orange diamond, and offering her up to White Diamond. “I trust your judgment, White. Orange will more than meet your expectations, I am sure of it.”

“I hope so…” White muttered under her breath as she gave one last glance to Orange. “Black, please escort Orange to Colony Lambda to give her the run down of whats to be expected of her, and to fit her for proper attire.” Oranges first though was that she was more than properly dressed, however she didnt voice that, and she was quickly ushered out of the room by black to then follow her to a Private ship that was Black in color.

Oranges second thought was that she had completely forgotten that Black was in the room with them as well. She didn't try to make small talk with Black in any way, as when she looked up to do so, Black had an irritated look upon her face. Orange figured it best not to make the gem flying the ship mad even further, as to avoid any accidents, so she kept her mouth shut…

(End note: thank you for reading!)

#steven universe #steven universe fanfic #diamond authority #steven unvierse au #white diamond su #white diamond x original character #original character #original art #original writing

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everydaydg · 2 months

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ok hi i am currently making my way through all of ur recs and its a LOT of music so its probs gonna take me a couple of days . that being said what ive heard so far i REALLY like

wanna start with what id already heard, ofc Daytona USA OST is great, id say my favorite songs from there were either Sky High or Pounding Pavement, very hard choice.... good stuff all around tho to be sure

i listened to a couple of tracks from FL2LT and id say Could Be or Sling Shot are my favs there, i really love how he always does his vocals, that shit always rocks and it really shines here from what ive listened to so far

finally MAN all of Mitsuyoshi's tracks from Sega Rally 2006 absolutely fuck. every track i heard was awesome, especially Temptation of Speed, Iron Bullfight, and Muddi'n Bass, pumpin tracks that sound like a perfect fit for a rally game (really makes me wanna give it a shot... the last time i tried a rally game, Michelin Rally Masters, was also for the soundtrack, but i didnt mesh with it that much. maybe ill like Sega Rally more,,)

ANYWAYS those are my first impressions. ill keep u updated on my listening experience, and thank u for the recs, ive been really enjoying it so far :D

Thank you for checking out my list of stuff!

maan... Daytona is iconic at this point, lovely tunes for an already fantastic game.

Hell yeah I love "could be"! Its one of my favorite tracks from Crackin' DJ Part 2.

I enjoy Sling Shot a whole lot... buuut I do kinda preffer Dennis St. James ngl. Idk I feel his voice fits more Daytona 2 but I would be lying if I said Mitsuyoshi didnt give a great performance.

Sega Rally rocks! Its one of my favorite racing game series, straying away from simulation racing to focus on the joy of drifting arround in a rally course.

2006 is great buuut I highly recommend starting with the original and its sequel!

(Ok this is the start to a random ass ramble about Sega Rally... just skip the next bold text)

Sega Rally '94 was ported to PS2 and Saturn

PS2 is a straight port of the arcade version while saturn has a bit funkiness due to it being a much weaker machine than the Sega Model 2 but its still great tho!

Highly recommend the "Plus Netlink" release because of the 3D analog pad support.

2 was ported to DC and Windows... but both versions are bad.

Long story short: SR2 for DC was built arround the Windows CE support that the Dreamcast had. WinCE support was mainly there to make it so developers had an easy time working with the hardware and little trouble bringing their stuff to PC... problem is, windows CE on DC was crap and was much more limiting than it should have been

(so much so SEGA just gave developers their own simple OS so they didnt have to use CE (Using CE was still an option but... nobody used it))

Visuals are much worse and it runs like straight garbage and PC is just DC but at an acceptable framerate.

Emulating the Model 3 ver is the way to go.

Its a bit of a hurdle but its super worth it imo. Its one of my absolute favorite games.

The feeling of taking a corner is unmatched

(End of Ramble)

Im glad to hear you've been enjoying everything so far!!

Thanks once again for giving it a shot and apologies for the extended thing about windows CE there.

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streaminn · 1 year

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Heyoo in the bodyguard au I like to imagine them to be both touch starved but they're two entirely different people and while Wednesday tries to initiate skinship respectfully (cause why not the girl you have wish you met in a better circumstances finally showed up in front of you) Enid is a coward has always been and she fears that maybe the years of pinning and social isolation finally caught up on her and this is but a dream and when she finally finally let herself take what she yearns she would wake up and Wednesday is nothing but a dream.

Plus obviously they grow up, change and become different versions of themselves Wednesday clearly sees that but Enid. Enid in that decade where she tries so hard to see Wednesday in every corner, she made a completely different Wednesday in her mind. The Wednesday in her mind would have never left for a selfish reason something must happen. The Wednesday in her mind would gladly see her bleed for her no she would not be taking care of her just like the Wednesday today.

I also imagine Enid vibing over please don't go by Joel Adams.

Now please don't go

Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone

Now please don't go, oh no

I think of you whenever I'm alone

So please don't go

Funnily enough the singer's name would now make her grit her teeth fcking Joel who is also madly in love with Wednesday. Joel who is seemingly more perfect for the goth girl and doesn't look like a monster. Plus his last name what do you mean Joel Adams?!!! Oh it's missing a d.

- entirely feeling lost anon

here's the thing you got wrong

enid doesn't try to see wednesday, she just gets reminded of her no matter where she is as a side effect of being mated. During her service she relished in it because she really does miss the girl for some unnamed unknown reason but now that she's older, its just really painful to think and wish for something she can't let go for some way or another

its been a decade, she isn't that delusional to think that wednesday left for some greater reason. She's aware that wednesday wanted to leave originally anyways and simply stayed for the mystery. Now that's over, it makes sense for her not to come back

Enid cried about why didnt wednesday say a thing to yoko when they were still students yoko isn't wrong when she says that its been a hell of semester and that wednesday isn't exactly the best in communication

its no wonder Wednesday didnt reach out and enid has to simply accept that some people just aren't mean to keep contact even when Enid figures out the contact information of the addams family.

At first she was estatic, she could finally reconnect but its been a few months since wednesday left and now she's worrying. Wednesday respects her privacy and for enid to go digging... it sounds wrong, it sounds like enid's obssessed and she didn't want to make wednesday uncomfortable because what if she didnt reach out for a reason? what if she wanted the space away from nevermore?

by the time enid gets the courage to do dail that number, its been so long that she's sure wednesday must've forgotten about her

anyways, i think instead of romanticizing and being delusional asf, enid would simply be so realistic that it borderlines pessimism. A side effect from her experience in the military and a fuckton of copium for her separation problem that comes with being mated and separated for so long.

Like Ofcourse wednesday wouldn't reach out, she went through some rather concerning things in nevermore so its understandable she cut contact

with this same mindset, Enid usually remembers how callous and cold wednesday is so its always a tiny shock whenever wednesday so easily cares for her because enid doesn't remember her being this open in nevermore

its a pleasant surprise, one enid doesn't know how to feel about

#bodyguard enid au #reference #enid sinclair

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digitalcockroach · 1 year

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hiiiiii 9 and 13 for the movie questions 🎞️📽️🍿🎬 (various movie themed emojis for pizazz, why not)

9. What was the last movie you watched? What did you think of it?

watched for the first time or watched at all?

last new (to me) movie I watched I think would have been Birds of Prey which I finally got around to a month or two ago. I didnt expect to like it as much as I did bc both like Girlboss and Superhero/Villain movies are very hit or miss for me but it was fantastic I wish I'd seen it in theaters tbh

last rewatch was Nope which gets better with each additional watch omg the LAYERS you can watch it through SO many lenses and get a fully new appreciation and experience with it and they all seamlessly connect - the racial story and the story of family and being seen, the animal care and training and nature story, the story about film and film history, of the overworked underpaid abused uncredited workers in the film industry, of 21st Century Hollywood culture, of trauma and of spectacle and technology, and way more packed into a cinematographically gorgeous sci-fi horror flick with just the right spice of comedy im sorry i have so many things to say about Jordan Peele revolutionizing modern horror NO ONE is doing it like him

13. What is your comfort film?

the first Twilight movie (i accept no shame for this lol) besides just the nostalgia it's got a perfect soundtrack (paramore, muse, linkin park, radiohead, come the fuck on right?), it's simple and kinda funny, and my Twilight obsession was rlly my big special interest thru some rough shit when I was younger so it's yeah my go to comfort movie for sure (I could Also go tf off about the Twilight movies in many ways from how much I hate Stephanie Meyer to my favorite shots you can see a boom mic in)

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hoghtastic · 1 year

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Hey there! I remember that some had been discussing why most of the younger cast of vikings didn't really progress with their careers. I have just recently rewatched the whole show, and now with some time passed and not as much of a hype I personally felt like often the acting of them was honestly hideous. I noticed that especially with Marco, Ida, Georgia and yes also with Alex. Some of them clearly had some very good and memorable scenes but compared to what Travis did with his character I now understand that a lot of people abandoned or didn't like the show after Ragnars death. Yes, Ivar carried the show like a lot after that but I personally thing that the fact that Ivar just looked hot had a lot of saying with that. Because when I rewatched the show, I thought that with season 5 the story was more often written poorly then not! I know that they were young and didnt have that much experience, but honestly if that is their biggest advertisement for themselves I kinda understand it's hard for them to get new big jobs.

Just my 2 cents, sorry if most disagree, hope no one feels offended. Just thought to myself its almost a bit surprising how my own view changed with a bit of distance form the fandom and hypetrain.

Thank you so much for sharing your opinion, anon! 😊 It's a really interesting perspective, and it's totally understandable that with some time and distance our views on things will change.

If I may also add my two cents, from my experience talking to friends and acquaintances who also used to watch Vikings, people abandoning the show after Ragnar's death had nothing to do with the new actors' skills. They were just really attached to Ragnar as a character and felt really disappointed that they decided to kill the main character, so much that they didn't see a point in continuing to follow the story, as the sons' story wouldn't be the same without Ragnar. So some people gave up right away, not even giving the show and the new cast a chance. It also didn't help that, at the time, only seasons 1 to 5 were available on Netflix, and most people didn't feel like subscribing to another platform (Amazon Prime, if I'm not mistaken) to see the 6th and final season. And while I agree that sometimes the writing wasn't the best, we can't really blame the actors' skills for that either, as they try to do their best with what they're given, I believe. 😅

I also absolutely agree when you said that "they were young and didn't have that much experience", but being on Vikings was already a huge achievement and they could have worked on improving their skills after that. I can only comment about Alex, whose career I've been following the closest in comparison to the others you mentioned, but I'd say that the problem wasn't his performance in Vikings. He showed a huge potential and commitment to the character, even if he wasn't perfect. The problem was what he did after. It seemed to me (based on past interviews) that he got a little picky with which roles he'd accept, considering some smaller ones as some kind of "downgrade" after Vikings. He also didn't seem to have resumed his formal studies or any other kind of education that would help him improve as an actor. And in such a competitive field of work, where good big roles are somewhat scarce, I don't think those were very clever choices. But this is just my personal opinion, of course, and maybe he preferred to prioritize his mental health back then and is happy doing some lighter work nowadays. 😊

#anon asks

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uglypastels · 2 years

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steve and fem!reader after dating for a while, have their first time??

I m sorry this took an entire day, I had so much personal shit to get through, but eeeeek thank you for sending this request in!!! i m so happy to finally post some writing again haha. just hope its good. :)

Stranger Things (Eddie || Steve) Requests??

warning: didnt proofread it. smut (characters in story are 18+// minors DNI) drinking, partying. unprotected sex, semi public?? in car stuff. i think that's it.

[contains no actual plot points of the show -> no spoilers]

If you enjoy the blurb please reblog and comment ❤❤ i'd love to hear what you thought of it and its a great way to support content makers

The house was filled with drunk and rowdy people, you happily being one of them. The music played loud through the entire living room, only emphasised by the claps, stomping feet and off-key sing-along of the words. A punch might have been spilt over you, but you didn’t care. It added to the experience.

A pair of slender arms wove their way around your waist, letting you spin around to face your boyfriend. He smiled his cockish smile, intoxicated by a mixture of the alcohol and his adoration for you.

‘Hey hot stuff,’ you had to practically shout the words for him to hear them over the music. ‘What have you been up to?’ You asked since he had been gone for the duration of about two songs, leaving you to fend for yourself on the make-shift dancefloor.

‘I wanted to get us some drinks, but those dipshits didn’t buy any of the good stuff!’ He shouted over the music as well, the length of the sentence making him take a deep breath by the end of it. You looked over Steve’s shoulder, trying to spit the open kitchen counter where the bar had been set up. Most of the bottles, once filled with cheap liquor, were empty or spilt over. No full beer cans were to be found.

In the meantime, Steve pulled you in closer, swaying your bodies to the music. He usually got handsy when he had something in his system. Usually, one drink was enough to loosen him up. That same amount was also enough to open up a different side to you as well. Steve always teased you for it, deservedly so, as you got incredibly handsy with him, and one drink was all it took. It’s not that you didn’t want to be all over him when completely sober, but without the Dutch courage, you were way too much in your head about it. And you didn’t want to overthink it, that’s not what it was supposed to be like. Your past relationships were enough proof that you could do it without that extra bittersweet support.

The thing with Steve, you supposed, was that you really really liked him. More than any other person you had been with. So, that made the things that never really mattered before suddenly very important. You wanted things, maybe not necessarily to be perfect, but at least as close to it as possible.

‘Hey, Stevie,’ you lean into him, so you can speak in a somewhat hushed tone, let no one hear you call him that nickname he hates but secretly really likes.

‘What’s up, babe?’ His hand finds the hem of your shirt and squeezes it in his grip.

‘It’s getting a bit hot here, don’t you think?’ You try to look at him as innocently as possible, but neither of you can really contain your laughter as you do so.

‘A bit, I suppose, want me to get you some water?’ He was teasing you, you knew it.

‘No, that’s fine. I was just thinking. Maybe… you wanna get out of here?’ With that, you close the gap between you, catching his lips in a soft kiss. He accepts it immediately, pressing you close to him, enjoying the feeling of your body against his. For that short moment, there was no one around you, no other dancing hectically, pushing or prodding. It was just you and him until you had to pull away for air.

‘That,’ he kissed your cheek once, softly, ‘was the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.’

‘Oi, Harrington.’

‘No, really, y/n. I expect better from you.’ He pouted playfully. His hand, in the meantime, wandered off your hip and his fingers found themselves entwined with yours. ‘C’mon then.’ You felt silly for the size of your smile as he pulled you through the crowd to the door, but the adrenaline and excitement took over. Outside, the warm summer air greeted you with the smell of upcoming rain. A long line of cars stood parked along the curb of the road, all the way until the end of the street, possibly even beyond it. Steve didn’t let go of your hand all the way until you reached his ‘83 BMW and even then, he let you push him against the side, closing him in. With your arms around his neck, lips locked on lips, you had him in a steady grip filled with bliss.

‘Have I ever told you,’ he mumbled when you pulled out for air once more, ‘that you taste like cherry coke?’ You had discovered the drink over the previous summer and it had quickly become your favourite. You replied to his comment by giving him one more kiss.

‘Hmm, well you taste like caramels.’ He had eaten some earlier, you remembered, and the sweet taste mixed well with the alcohol. And it had been a long day, where most of the product in his hair had lost its magic, so you could easily brush your fingers through it, pull it slightly. The groan that followed vibrated through his lips onto yours.

The longer the kiss lasted the deeper, rougher, it got. That feeling was bubbling up in the pit of your stomach, the one you had missed and yet kept pressing under and shoving away, never feeling like it was the right time. But as you were making out with your boyfriend against his car, having just run out of a house party of… you didn’t even know whose house that was… but you realised, there would probably never be a perfect time. It didn’t matter.

‘Steve-’ a moan escaped past the rest of your words. ‘Do you want to-’ You didn’t really know how to ask it. Even though both of you were on the exact same wavelength and he would have known what you wanted without a single word, you still wanted to ask, and yet the words didn’t work. It felt silly to ask something like it.

But no matter how silly, it was Steve and Steve got you. He rummaged in his pocket for the car keys and then, to your dislike, turned around to unlock the door. You halted him for a second.

‘No, get the back door.’ At this, he seemed a bit confused. But just for a second. His eyes widened in realisation.

‘Are you sure? We can drive up to the lake, maybe?’

‘It will take forever to get up there and I don’t feel like waiting.’ You let yourself into the car once he opened the backdoor. He watched you slip in on the backseat. If he had a die on, you had imagined yourself pulling him in by it as they did in the movies, but unfortunately, all he had was a t-shirt. ‘I need you, Steve. Now. Please.’

Steve cursed under his breath as the car door slammed behind him. A nervous hand brushed his hair back as he exhaled, somewhat heavily. But then, after a small moment of processing the situation, a switch flipped inside of him. The next second, he grabbed you by the thighs, pulling you into him. He let you sit on his lap while getting on with the buttons on your shirt.

‘Are you sure about this?’ he asked once your bra was becoming more and more visible between the open buttons.

‘Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘Just not what I had expected our first time to be.’ He chuckled, more to himself.

‘You thought about it?’ Heat rose to your cheeks at the thought of him planning out your first time. It was an unexpected sensitiveness that you had seen make an appearance in Steve that still managed to surprise you.

‘Honestly, don’t make me tell you how often I’ve thought about taking you and making you all mine.’ His voice was soft in your ear, but the words gave it an edge that shook you to your core, hitting that one spot deep in your stomach again. ‘Fill you up hard like you should be, baby.’

‘Fuck, Steve.’ He hadn’t even touched you yet and you could feel the heat pool down between your legs.

‘That’s right. You know what’s good for you.’ Even if you had your eyes closed you could have bet his smirk was plastered all across his handsome face. And then his hand travelled down too, the cold of his fingers making you jump slightly when he touched your bare thigh– a pro of summer weather and clothes, the shorts you were wearing already exposed most of your body to him, except for what you needed him to tough the most.

‘You’re probably already so wet for me, so needy.’ He started rubbing slow circles over your centre, his eyes glued to your face to read of any approval or discomfort, any sign he needed to see what to do to make you feel as good as possible. It was the most pleasurable torture you had ever felt, a feeling of a never nearing contentment. Steve knew what he was doing, even when experimenting to see what you were into, he moved deliberately, changing his pace and movements. He’d add pressure when your head would move back, and slow back down when your lips parted softly.

You held on to his shoulders, doing your best not to grind against him, but eventually,

things were taking too long.

‘So fucking needy,’ he smiled at the feeling of your thighs grinding against his. ‘ Need me so bad?’

‘You know I do. Always.’

‘Always huh?’ He kissed your cheek, brushing some loose hair out of your face, ‘and what do you think about then?’

‘Just… you know… you, fucking me.’

‘Well, I don’t want to keep you waiting for much longer, then, baby,’ he half-whispered and you definitely didn’t need to hear it twice. Given the space of the car, it happened with a little difficulty and little comfort, but eventually, you both managed to get rid of your clothes. It all happened so fast, that you weren’t even sure what you had done to your clothing, or what had happened to his. You were sitting in the backseat of his car, naked. The windows were already steaming up from the heat of your bodies and the heavy breathing.

‘Just tell me if you need a break or to stop, ok?’ There he was again, that soft side of his. The careful and sweet Steve that you fell fall all those years ago. You nodded, telling him you would if you’d need to and the deal was sealed as he kissed you once more. This was a much more gentle kiss, but not a bit less passionate.

As it went on, he held your hip and managed to slip inside you. It wasn’t the easiest process given your position and, again, the size of the car, but it worked and once it worked you couldn’t help but let the moan out that your body had been holding in for who knew how long. A sigh of relief, almost, at the feeling of him stretching your walls like no one had before. He let you get familiar with the feeling before moving. Slowly, at first, finding the comfort between both your bodies, but it didn’t take long for you both to realise you needed more.

‘Fuck,’ he hissed as he moved faster, harder, hitting all the right spots inside you. Soon his mouth found its way to your chest, leaving sloppy kisses over your soft skin. The way his mouth felt on you stopped you from caring if anything he did would leave a mark. No one would be able to see it anyway, even in your smallest bathing suit.

‘I’m-’ you gasped at another hard thrust. The knot within you was tightening, you could both feel it, and it Steve’s slower speed was an indicator of anything, you imagined he was getting there too, maybe even faster than you.

‘Steve- oh my god,’ your head rolled back when his hand came back to your bundle of nerves, moving his fingers in swift circles, adding that much-needed pressure, that you hadn’t even known yourself you needed. How he knew, you might never know, but you would never complain either. Not when the release that followed was so sweet and mind-fogging.

‘There you go. I got you. I got you.’ He kissed the top of your head as your breathing started to slow down. ‘I got you, baby.’

He held you close in his arms until you started to feel cold again. He handed you his shirt from underneath the seat, as yours was nowhere to be found in the darkness, and after quickly pulling up his trousers, he drove you back to his place to continue your night in a slightly more comfortable manner.

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#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington blurb #smut #blurb #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fanfic #fanfiction #fic #fanfic

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thekingofwinterblog · 4 years

Text

It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do.

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child.

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another.

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15.

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings.

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

#my hero academia #touya todoroki #dabi #endeavor #endeavour #enji todoroki #rei todoroki #character study #301 #meta

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mirrorforevers · 3 years

Text

here, there, and everywhere • graham coxon/reader

this fic is based on two prompts y'all sent me:

and

this fic really tested all of my blur knowledge holy Fuck. blur as talking heads au i guess. how cool would it be if they

1. had a girl bassist instead of the cheese tory dude

2. werent as unhappy as they were in the mid 90s (just a bit)

3. were just a little 🤏🏻 bit more female friendly lets just pretend this is a universe where the blurjob passes didnt exist heh

it took me everything i had to make this sound as realistic as it could be. u know these girls who think they could fix patrick bateman or don draper? perhaps y’all could fix blur

consider this a gift n not only me writing for your prompt, @nottuned! thank u so much for all your support n encouragement n for always bein so sweet 🥺 i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

let’s see how many references to unfortunate britpop moments y’all can find in this

also i hope i captured the silliness of the gossip and drama in that era well. if you enjoyed it, please leave an ask telling me more! ur feedback is rly important to me 😔✊🏻

tw (?) reader has shitty parents

word count: 7.938 (this one's quite long!)

smut. set in the 90s. au.

You were unlocking your door when you heard your house phone ring. The shrill sound echoed through the empty corridors as you hurriedly unwrapped your scarf, tossing your keys and backpack on nearby furniture as you ran to answer the call.

“Hello?” You answer, panting.

“Y/N?”

“Dave?” You smile, that call was a very welcome surprise. Your friend owed you an answer.

A few weeks ago, Dave Rowntree, your music classmate who became a close friend, told you that he had teamed up with two other proficient musicians to form a band. Dave was ecstatic, and every day he had new stories about his new friends to tell you between breakfasts and lunches that you shared between the countless hours of rehearsals. Even though you weren't part of the group, you already felt that you knew Damon and Graham like the back of your hand. Yin and Yang. One was expansive, ambitious, vain, impulsive. The other, shy, introspective, anxious and careful.

Damon Albarn wanted to be an actor, Graham Coxon had a firm foot in the visual arts. One was a fan of grand classical compositions, the other was a Beatles fan. They had been friends since they were children, in a seemingly unbreakable bond. Damon dropped out of his theater class not only because out of a sudden he had found a bigger calling in music instead of acting, but also because he couldn't stand being away from his best friend for so long. You found yourself often imagining their faces and voices while trying to make all of the wild and endearingly funny stories Dave told you more tangible in your head.

It was not long before Dave started dropping little hints that they needed someone else for their project. “It’s not that Graham isn’t good at bass,” he’d say, “but we could do better.” It wasn't at the top of your plans to be part of a band right now, especially as you were preparing intensely to join the Royal Academy of Music, and he knew it. When you mentioned the conversations you had with Dave about the boys on your family dinner, in quiet wonder and timid want of being part of something really exciting, your parents wrinkled their noses. Focus on the greater things, they’d say. Don’t let these boys distract you from your goal.

Our goal, they meant to say. Since you were born, you never knew if the things you wanted were really your will or theirs.

But anyway.

That dynamic went on for a while, until the day Dave invited you to audition for them while you shared a Diet Coke in the tube home.

“Will it take too much of my time?” You asked, coyly.

“Bold of you to assume we’ll let you in that quickly.” He chuckles, amused by your confidence. You playfully elbow him in return. He knew how good you were at what you did, though, and there’s lightness in his tone when he continues, “But no, unless you let it. You’ll probably have to stand up to Damon every once in a while.” He sips the drink, handing it over to you.

“What about Graham? How much is he determined to make it big?”

“Damon’s the one who wants it the most. Graham’s studying Fine Arts at Goldsmiths, so. There’s still cautiousness in him.”

“Huh. Okay then.” You reply, thoughts running wild. “Do we have a time and date?”

“Is tomorrow ok to you?”

“Sure. After our class?”

“Perfect.” The train reaches his station. He ruffles your hair: “See you tomorrow then.”

“See you.”

You don’t tell anything about it to your parents, you just warn them that you’ll arrive a bit later than usual. Dave’s intel was crucial to your choice of songs: knowing Graham was the beatlemaniac and also the rational brake to Damon’s tireless ambition, you knew who to please and have as an ally, so you build an innovative and fresh mashup of Paul McCartney’s greatest basslines to play for them. Of course it could backfire, but you didn’t care. You had a hell of a good ear anyway and if Damon wanted you to play anything out of the blue, you would improvise beautifully over it.

The day comes. You didn’t know why you were that nervous for an amateur audition. You weren’t even sure if it was the right path to follow, given that, depending on how focused Damon really was and how contagious his aspiration was, being part of a band could really take you out of your predestinated course. The reason why you were so nervous, now thinking a little more about it, may be because deep inside, you want your path to be a little less predictable. You didn’t want to fill your heart with hopes that you might make it big and travel all over the world because you didn’t even know them. But… what if it clicks? You knew some people in the scene whose work was getting seriously recognized out there.

Meeting them for the first time was an enigmatic experience. Damon was incredibly brash and cocky - not the first theater kid you’ve met in your life. Graham was way more approachable, though also a bit conceited when pushed just right. You wondered if you’d fit in that boys’ club, and decided you wouldn’t be an easy target for discredit or any kind of shit they might give you. “Took me a while to fully get their trust. You’ll do just fine”, Dave said, out of their earshot.

That gave you more fuel to play amazingly well. Damon definitely wasn’t one to be impressed quickly, but he was, when you finished your set. So was Graham - Graham was starry eyed with your performance, actually. Albarn showed you a song and asked you if you could improvise to it, just as you imagined. Of course you could, on the first play. You even suggested some adjustments to its structure. Your feedback was welcomed and noted.

Even though everything went surprisingly well, you still weren't sure if you would be a member of “Seymour”, as they called themselves. (You knew it wasn’t the best name, but you didn’t have a better suggestion at the time so you’ve kept your opinion to yourself.) Graham became eerily quiet out of a sudden and wouldn’t cross eyes with you the entire time you were there. Damon, well, was Damon. Perhaps he thought you were too ordinary and mainstream for deciding to play Beatles when he’s trying to be the new avant-garde Jesus.

But Dave's news was different than you expected. “They really, really enjoyed your audition. As I thought they would.” You can hear the smile in his voice. "When can you rehearse with us?"

Months after, on your first gig as a fully formed and integrated band, Damon was hit in the face by a guy twice his size, Graham vomited onstage and you and Dave had to take care of both. A beautiful way to close the already exquisite day you had, after you fought with your parents, got kicked out of your childhood home and gave up on entering the Royal Academy of Music two days after you received your acceptance letter featuring rave reviews of your entrance exam.

Dealing with these boys - no, grown-ass men - was hard, but not completely unpleasant. If it were totally unpleasant, you wouldn’t give up on your entire life to embark on such an adventure.

You - plural you - were so gifted and Damon’s compositions were so good. You could see that artsy pretentious mess of an act going somewhere. Of course, you were a bit lost in your life, but so were they, as you ran from city to city meeting new people and trying new things in your journey to fame.

Loneliness, once a close friend, became a distant acquaintance. One you didn’t know anymore.

You confess you were getting worried, though, with how much money you had left on your savings and how much you were spending lately now that your parents weren’t an active part of your life. Wanting to eat something you cannot dream of buying without that money being really useful in a much more critical situation, not having nearly enough money to replace something important that broke or got torn off was frustrating. Some basic things became luxuries out of a sudden.

One day in particular, you very briefly mentioned that you were dying to eat a slice of chocolate cake, but your voice was so small and everyone was so immersed in their duties you thought no one gave two shits to what you said. Two days later, Graham arrived late at rehearsal with a small chocolate cake in his hands, handing it over to you like it was a completely ordinary act. Nothing in the way he acted told you he expected a reward, it was so natural and… gentle. You knew no one in your band could buy a chocolate cake without it being apocalyptic to their personal finances during that time.

That day, you were assured by fate that feeling lost together was better than feeling guided alone.

The band finally got on track - strictly musically speaking. Personally speaking, many contemporaries who followed you at parties and other events described you as an ever-growing odd, annoying and intermittently disarming bunch - and Blur and its members became household names, at least in the UK. It became harder and harder everyday to impose yourself as an entire industry and its target public aimed to tear you down. Men couldn’t understand.

(Graham Coxon was the one who tried the hardest to.)

It was four in the morning. You’ve got used to following your bandmates to hospitals, running away from trouble or knowing when to relish in it. But it was the first time you offered yourself to clean up dried blood from one’s face, given how much you hated seeing the fluid and even fainted when younger whenever exposed to it.

You, so delicately, wipe the saline solution-soaked cotton across Graham’s face, who flinches at the cold sensation on his still sensitive skin. He stares at you with the eyes of a child, and you couldn’t help but give him a slight, warm smile in return, which he retributes. Your face conveyed gratitude and affection towards the one you were taking care of. Your hands still struggled to stay completely still after the surge of adrenaline your body received a few hours ago.

Being the only girl in a massive band, and one the music magazines and mainstream media loved sexualizing, meant having paparazzis in your window in odd hours (not that that’s acceptable in any hour, but you had to lower your standards even more these days), meant having different photographers trying to pressure you to get into all kinds of uncomfortable angles with skimpy-ass dresses and just count on the intervention of your fellow bandmates so they would stop, also having invasive male fans who would try to harass you in any way they could.

Of course the day where one of your bandmates would get into a fist fight with one of these men inserted into these categories would come. And even though they were all protective of you, each in their own peculiar, increasingly contradictory way, Graham’s dedication to it was sometimes commendable.

You were making your way through a small corridor of people on your way to the stage when a random guy cupped one of your breasts. It’s not like the venue was incredibly tight, it could not have been on accident and it made your blood boil. You turned around to scream at him, and Graham, who was just behind you, threw a punch directly towards the man’s face, without thinking twice.

And oh boy, took a lot of people and a sweet amount of time to separate the two after that.

After all was said and done, Graham had a few scratches, a black eye and a cut brow. He kept dodging your many “sorrys”, “you didn’t have to do this” and other expressions of guilt. “You have nothing to be sorry about, he deserved it”, he kept assuring you, like a mantra, just giving in to your pleas when you supplicated to take care of his wounds during intermission and after the show.

“I get why you did what you did, Gra. I hate that you took such a risk because of me, but I understand.” you say, voice cracking from not using it for a while after spending some good minutes in complete silence taking care of him. “However,” you soak another cotton ball in the saline solution a roadie got you, punctuating the word with a squeeze to the cotton to remove excess liquid. “I was worried sick about you. What if he… had a knife or something? You could’ve got seriously injured. Or killed.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly able to have a good fight,” after wincing from the contact of the cold wet cotton with his dried blood, he purses his lips in a forced, shy smile, trying to light up the mood. He notices your hands are still shaking from the adrenaline, and takes one of them in his bigger ones, trying to calm you down. The fact that he did this for you, coupled with the fear and how tired you felt of having to go through that kind of situation once again, made you cry-laugh from how overwhelmed you felt.

His expression changes to one of pure compassion in an instant. “Hey, don’t--oh my,” he gets up from his chair to embrace you as you pour your frustrations through fat tears running down his shoulder.

“It’s so exhausting,” you mumble, through sobs. “Now I’m putting you in danger too. I feel like I did and I’m still doing everything wrong. I should be the one giving you a shoulder to cry on.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong! Anything at all, I promise you,” he says, tenderly, running his hands through your hair, still holding you tight. “It was his fault! I decided it was the right thing to do. You’re worth the risk. What people have been putting you through is unacceptable.”

“I’m not worth the risk!” You break apart from his arms, trying to get your point across. “What would I do without you if someone killed you? You need to be more careful!”

The silence hangs heavy between you two thanks to the weight of your words.

“You should’ve asked me before you lunged at him, at least. I don’t know.” You wipe your many tears as you move towards the nearest bottle of water to try to calm yourself down. “It’ll never end. I’m so afraid that these situations will get even worse. That,” you motion at his wounds and dirty clothes, “is a bloody tragedy. It’s a tragedy things escalated to this point. You can’t do that forever.”

“This is just a consequence. And something I would do for you in a heartbeat whenever necessary.”

“Graham, I don’t want you to get hurt because--”

“They hurt you. I won’t let you go through that alone. Besides,” he comes closer to you again. “As I already told you, I can take care of myself, most of the time.” He takes your face in his hands, his fingers so delicately running across your cheeks to dry your tears. You knew that gesture wasn’t his way of asking you for anything you weren’t ready to give him yet. He just wanted you to feel safe. “And I want to take care of you.”

“I’m the one cleaning your wounds.”

“A great partnership, I think.” Coxon chuckles softly, and finally gets a smile out of you. As he always does. “And they make me look cool, don’t you think?”

“Shut up.” You giggle, still feeling too emotional to return to the stage. You sigh: “Thank you for being there for me. You know I’m still not very used to it. Just please be safe.”

The roadie returns, a little flustered by interrupting your little moment together. “5 minutes and you’re back, guys.”

“Okay!” You both turn to answer her.

“I’ll be. No need to thank me for anything, Y/N.” He answers, giving your forehead a little kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Give me two minutes. I’ll be right behind you.”

“What’s it like, being the only woman in the band?”

Four eyerolls at once don’t seem to faze the interviewer. She waits for your response.

Apparently the thousand invasive questions regarding Damon’s love life and the same bullshit treatment of women as either rare specimen or sex dolls is what pleases the audience of music TV shows these days.

“What do you think?” is what you say.

“Must be a thrill to have these beautiful boys around you all the time. And we’ve heard you never even took advantage of it!”

You don’t like where this is heading. “Is that… a bad thing? I don’t know what you mean.”

“Perhaps some of our lady viewers might think it is. No judgement though!” She raises her hands. “You do you, it’s just that it’s quite unexpected to see prudes in non-Christian bands. I mean… from what we’ve heard.”

“I’m sorry? What are you trying to say? What did you hear?”

Her tongue clicks while she stares at you with defiance and mischief on her eyes, as she goes a little further and raises her voice so it can overlay yours. “Oh love. You do know what I’m talking about. There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin.”

Your cheek burns intensely and the only thing you wished for was for the ground to swallow you whole. Dave and Graham are especially uncomfortable. Damon’s a bit amused. The three knew almost everything there was to know about you. The one topic that surprisingly they didn’t know about is that you’re still a virgin.

They know you’ve been single for a long time. They know that’s part of what draws so much attention and twisted lore regarding you and your past, but that’s not something they felt they needed to know about you at all, and you truly never felt the need to comment about that with any of them, and they haven’t asked. Not even Mr. “the way to be successful in this game is to make all the boys wanna be you and all the girls wanna sleep with you. In your case that’d work in reverse” Damon Albarn.

“Is that even something that should be discussed in an interview about our music? Is that what your boss told you to ask her about?” Dave answers, his tone venomous.

“Musicians are way more than just music. You’re entertainment in every sense of the word.”

“Who told you that about me?” You asked, not sure if you want to know the answer.

“A lovely elderly lady who lives in Elgin Crescent. She knows you so well.”

That’s your mum. That’s how far low your relationship has degraded. You’re not surprised. That doesn’t feel less like a punch on your gut, but you don’t feel like tumbling again. Not today.

“I know who you’re talking about. Tell her I asked her to go fuck herself and burn in hell. In that order.”

“But that’s your--”

“Yes, she is my mum!” If people are going to expose you anyway, then why don’t you do it on your terms? “We’re truly entertainment in every sense of the word, aren’t we. Not everyone’s mum’s a cunt. Some of us aren’t that lucky.”

“You want to be the next Gallagher sister with the spicy remarks?”

“Not sure. But I do want to be the last person you ever get to interview.”

The management of the band wasn’t at all surprised your interview became UK’s topic of the week. People were heavily divided between family is family and we shouldn’t hate our relatives and blood isn’t everything, family can be shitty too. Your bandmates were proud of you. The management was angry but tried to understand, and didn’t press you for further explanations. They suggested a two-week break from everything so Blur could rest their image and start a fresh cycle after that, and you gracefully accepted it.

The whole thing seemed so ridiculous the more you thought about it. Did your mum tell the reporter about that gratuitously? What was their conversation like? How did that even happen?

You became the butt of jokes in some places. You saw other famous people doing challenges between them, countdowns, all sorts of crude remarks. What a pathetic, sad chapter of your career.

You dial Graham, and you feel like your heart was about to burst out of your chest.

“Hey, Gra. It’s me.”

“Hey, Y/N.” He sounds pleasantly surprised. “How's it going?”

“Better, I guess. I have to take my mind off all that chaos though. Are you available right now?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been owing me a movie night for quite a while now and I miss spending time with you. Wanna come over?”

“Aww. Sure, I--um. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“I’m pretty sure I got everything we need here--ah… I think I don’t have any more beers.”

“I’ll buy some then. See ya in a few minutes.”

Actually, you couldn’t take all that chaos off your mind because that was the only thing in it. You’re feeling so nervous.

The main reasons sex wasn’t a priority for you until now were:

You didn’t have any real opportunities of losing your virginity in your teens. You were impossibly introspective until, like, 3, 4 years ago, and the way your family worked hasn’t really allowed you to get really close to people. Be it boyfriends, girlfriends or just friends. Anything that threatened to take time off the various tasks and classes your parents assigned to you just couldn’t be part of your life. To be honest, you still struggled a bit to form meaningful connections with people thanks to how you grew up.

The moment you stopped being shy, you noticed it was a real man’s world out there, especially in music, classical or not. You didn’t want anyone to think you fucked your way up to the top, you didn’t want any messy affairs. Also, you had yourself, and you didn’t get all of the hype regarding the concept of screwing someone. But apparently there’s a lot you’ve been missing, given the importance people seem to give to it. After that incident, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t give in to any kind of misogynistic pressure, that was one that really got under your skin.

You never really found someone who you felt 100% safe with in that sense until the one who’s about to arrive at your house appeared in your life. Bloody hell, and you don’t even have anything romantic going on. By the time you were a Blur member, you’ve fooled around a bit, but not all the way. You knew how to kiss, knew how to touch yourself and even brought manual satisfaction to some random fool you thought you were into one time. But perhaps this is the time to go all the way. Why not? Everyone knew how close you two were. He made you feel special. He was so kind. And gorgeous. And--

You hear a knock on your door. It’s him. Beers in hand, hair somewhat in place, twitchy as ever.

He comes inside and you feel like your legs will give up anytime. It was not the first time he visited you. It was one of many, actually, and he noticed you were acting… different.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks after a brief dialogue between you two, after plating some snacks for both of you.

“Graham...” You sigh, being really careful with your words. “What is your perception of me?”

“My perception of you?” He smiles. “I… think you’re great. You’re fun to be around. You’re one of the best musicians I know, if not the best. Why are you asking me that?”

“N-nothing. It’s nothing. Also, I asked the wrong question. What was your first perception of me?”

“Uh… the day of your audition?”

“Exactly. You barely talked to me that day.”

His eyes lower to his own feet. “I was really timid, actually. I wasn’t used to being near any girl, especially one who… w-would spend so much time around me if everything went well.”

You giggle. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never!” his smile turns into a full blown laughter. You melt at his confession. “Also because it seemed like you were trying to read my mind or something.”

“Of course! Because I thought you hated me!” Now that was a laughter you two shared. You do a voice: “‘Why is that pesky girl trying to get in my band?’”

“My goodness, no! I don’t even sound like that - you know what, I changed my mind. You suck. Because, besides the fact you don’t even know what I sound like, you still haven’t told me why you are asking me that in the first place.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he slightly cornered you physically in one of the kitchen corridors. Graham could be really persuasive when he wanted to.

“Okay. Right. Um. I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”

“What, exactly?”

“Everything that happened this month. The great virginity debacle,” you roll your eyes, and he scoffs.

“You don’t own anyone any information about what you do or don't do with your life. Everyone’s being so invasive. That was incredibly childish of the reporter to do, and we talked about that hundreds of times.”

“Yeah, but… you know what, forget it.”

“Tell me, Y/N. I just said that because I want you to know you were not in the wrong.”

“I know. It’s just… I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s silly for me to… keep closing myself for affection. Any kind of affection.”

“What are you talking about?” His brows furrowed in curiosity.

“I’m not sure if it’s the pressure that finally got under my skin, but… I’m willing to learn what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s silly that I’m still a virgin.”

He bites his lips, still processing what you just said, expression unreadable. Perhaps you’ve treaded a ground you shouldn’t. You step back both literally and figuratively. “I’m sorry I even brought that up--”

“No, no, don’t be.” He assures you. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all. I swear.”

“And...” You know what. You already went too far, so why not go all the way. You’ve already gone way past the point of no return. “I was wondering if… you would… popmycherry?”

His eyes widen, yours still closed. When you finally open them, he’s closer to you again.

If his head was a machine, you’re sure it would be releasing lots of steam and shaking due to overprocessing. You felt like you just ruined everything.

“Y/N, you don’t need to do it if you don’t really want to.”

“But I want it! At first I thought I didn’t, but then I thought...”

“I don’t want to be part of that if you’re just doing it to fulfill weird expectations.”

“But it’s not that. Not just... that. I asked about your perception of me because I really like you, Gra. I think we should be more than friends and I wanted to know what you think about me. And I want to know what the fuss is about, yes, but I’m not telling you that just so I can lose my virginity to prove some point. I’m telling you that because I like you, I want to kiss you, and I think it would be a great idea if you showed me what it’s like. Y-you know, sex.”

“I-I can’t believe it. Did you even have any movie in mind?” His smile’s back, but you’re still not confident about what his answer will be.

“I didn’t. I’m sorry. You don’t have to--”

He sighs. “I was in love with you the moment I first saw you, actually.” He says it like he’s releasing a huge load out of his back, his arms crossed. Now your eyes widen, and you hold your breath without even noticing. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know how you feel, or, felt about relationships, so… there wasn’t any reason for me to tell you that. And what I said about being timid was just half of the truth.”

“Huh?”

“I also was really intimidated by how pretty you looked. You can’t imagine how.”

“No way.”

“It’s true. I felt like I wasn’t even worthy of looking at you, really.”

“You’re joking. That’s mean, Gra.”

“I’m not. I’m really not.” He doesn’t look like he is joking. He looks relieved. “I’m really not. That’s why I’m so surprised by your request.”

“I’m nothing special.”

“You are everything to me. But I can’t accept your offer, not now.”

“Are you… seeing someone? Am I too late?”

“No. Definitely not. I just want you to be sure you’re not doing it because people are saying you should.”

“Graham, I’m a grown woman.”

“I know.”

Graham carefully presses his slightly chapped lips to yours, kissing you for a few precious, heart stopping seconds before pulling away; his voice is impossibly silky when he suggests, “Let’s watch a movie. How about The Godfather? I heard it’s airing tonight. Then, if in two weeks you don’t change your mind, tell me and I’ll be glad to help you with what you want. Do we have a deal?”

“That’s so unfair. I want you so bad.” You whisper.

“Tell me if you still do in two weeks.”

You sigh, defeated. “...Deal.”

You definitely notice the subtle shift in Graham’s personality and actions after that fateful night. If you were already close, both figuratively and literally, it now seemed like he would use any excuse to always touch you, be near you, sometimes tease you. The shift was subtle, though, don’t forget it’s still Graham Coxon we’re talking about - the constant “is it okay if”s or “is it alright if I”s were still there, as careful as ever. You don’t even talk about your deal that entire time, or even kiss again - sometimes you wondered if it was even real or just a fabrication of your mind.

The way he now caressed your hand discreetly when you listened to Damon’s ramblings, the way his hands now went directly to your waist when your games became too handsy, the way he seemed to be madly in love with everything you were and still are from the start - made you realize you were ready for this man to be a consistent part of your life.

The dust of the controversy was settled, and your own intentions were 100% clear to you now. The societal pressure has waned. The need for Graham to be your first persisted. After exactly 2 weeks have passed, you call him again, yearning to share the answer with him.

One beep.

Two beeps.

Three beeps.

Four beeps. “Hello?”

You release a sigh hidden deep inside of your lungs. “Graham, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh. It’s been two weeks.” You could hear the contemplative tone of his voice.

“...Yeah. That’s precisely the reason I’m calling you.”

“Do you still want to…?”

“...Desperately.”

“Ok.” He chuckles, flustered as hell on the other side of the phone, probably one of the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard. “Right. Ok. Your place or mine?”

“I think there’ll be an element of mystery if I go to your place this time.” You lose some of the constraints this silly shyness has been tying you on. “Do you have everything we might need there?”

“We don’t need a dungeon, you know.”

“The basics.” You make your smile heard.

“I do have… I do have the basics.”

“See you in a few minutes then.”

“Will you want to… ease into it? Or just go straight to it?”

“God, don’t make it awkward!” Your cheeks burn, your smile turning into contagious laughter. “Maybe… I don’t know. Ease into it, I guess? A movie night… but with s-something else?”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“Alright then. See you.”

“See you.”

You don’t choose any particularly fancy or sexy clothes, instead settling for a slightly oversized yellow striped shirt he gave you as a birthday present some months ago and some skirt that fit you well. He wasn’t one to lavish his loved ones with gifts all the time, but few things were as precious as the look on his face whenever he saw you wearing something he gave you or, hell, even eating something he paid for you. You’re thrilled to see it again when he opens the door for you, it easing some of your deepest doubts.

2001: A Space Odyssey is already playing on the TV when you arrive. Despite it being one of your favorite movies of all time, and his, you’re not mad it was already halfway through when you arrived. It wasn’t your main priority to rewatch it for the 17th time tonight.

He offers you some wine, which you accept to ease the nerves. You sit on his couch, and he shares the cozy space with you, now mindlessly throwing one of his arms around your shoulders. You cuddle up to him, and everything seems peaceful in the world for a while.

The tip of his fingers softly caress your lifted knee, absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but notice how well his body fits with yours, how your skin was apparently made for him to touch, and the anxiety rumbles in your stomach like a storm in a wild wavy sea. After some minutes, you raise your head, his big brown eyes meeting yours as if asking you a silent question. You leaned up a bit more to press your lips to his, in a silent answer. The sweetness in him makes this moment as precious as every other moment you ever shared with him. His hands enter your hair, making you shiver a bit from the unfamiliarity and the electricity of it all - but it doesn’t sway you from deepening the kiss, wanting more of his taste, more of this, more of him.

“Do you wanna take this to the bed?” He whispers, after noticing your moans were becoming more frequent and needy. You nod, and you are taken by surprise when he carries you bridal style to it, hiding your excited giggles in his broad shoulders.

Graham wasn’t exactly the most organized man in the world - so the fact that his bedroom was now impossibly tidy was something that positively caught your attention. He put some planning into this. He lays you down and you part your legs, beckoning him to meet you between them. He does, and you go back to the breathtaking makeout session. You notice he’s holding himself back a bit, taking his time, his warm tongue moving smoothly, not hurriedly, against yours. His self control falters a bit though, given how he can’t stop grinding against you. You follow the rhythm of his hips a bit timidly and not nearly as in sync as you’d really like, though the pressure his covered cock is creating against your core can already be felt and some particular thrusts are able to fill at least partially the aching, wet need growing within you.

“How do you feel about oral?” He asks, breath warm near your ear, his voice raspy and spent by his desire for you.

“Um… It would be my first time receiving or doing it.”

“Would you like me to go down on you?”

“Wow. I never thought I would hear you saying something like that.” You smile, still assimilating the situation you’re in, trying not to show how badly his voice is affecting you. “Sure.”

“I never thought I would get to propose this to you. Aren’t we full of surprises lately.” He smiles back, warmly. He notices your hands trembling a bit from how anxious you are while you’re taking off your underwear with his help, and as he lowers himself to where you need him most, he takes your hands in his as an act of reassurance. “Tell me what you like. Tell me if what I’m doing works for you. I want this to be a great experience.”

“You want me to get addicted to you, that’s what you want,” He chuckles, lovingly kissing your thigh as a reply. “Okay, Gra. Guess I’ll find out along the way.”

You quickly take a peak below you to see the lower half of his face disappear in the middle of your thighs. The sight alone sets your fire ablaze, as he hooks his arms around your thighs and lifts you closer to his mouth, his lips ghosting over the curls between your legs tantalizingly and his breath catching when your hips jerk forward.

As he begins his ministrations, you immediately notice it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. That feeling was completely alien to you. It was even wetter than you expected, and weird, but powerfully pleasant. Before this exact moment, you had a firm belief that hardly anyone else would make you feel the same way, or better, than you do yourself, but apparently you were very wrong. Thankfully you were wrong. “My god,” you gasp as the flat of his tongue drags over your folds, too much and not enough, and you jerk at the contact. “This is great. So weird, but-- great.”

He moans at your response, his movements carefully enthusiastic. He works his tongue between your folds and traces up to curl the tip of it around your clit, and it’s quite endearing and madly arousing to see how he eats out you like you’re the sweetest and tastier dessert he has ever tasted. You involuntarily buck against him with a desperate sound the moment he moves his tongue and lips in a particularly wicked way, something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by him, but you still feel the need to highlight in case it didn’t - “That. Keep doing that, please,”

And he does. The building of this climax is also different than the ones you already had by your own hands, and is more coy. As he sees the drops of sweat sliding along your soft skin and the expressions on your face as you get lost in this new but enchanting sensations, his hesitation and self-control fades away; there’s nothing uncertain in the way he buries his face in your cunt now, nothing restrained in the groan he lets out as he devours you and drinks you down as if you’re the first stream of water he has seen in days.

His tongue glides deeper in your folds again and again, swirling up through the wetness you’re coated with to tease at your clit while he grunts and strains closer, squeezing your thighs with both hands tight. The wave of heat inside of you is cresting so fast, you don't even know how to tell him, how to signal that you’re nearly done for and, in the end, it happens too fast to even try. He sucks at your clit, circling it with his tongue, once, twice, and then you’re crying out, shaking underneath him, trying to keep your thighs from clenching too hard around his head as he laps you through it with with urgent whimpers and moans, as if he cannot have enough of you.

You’re still trembling when he rises, the look on his face revealing to you how proud he feels by making you feel this way. It looks so good on him.

You fail miserably at the simple task of connecting words together after that, choosing instead to collect your remaining strength, prop yourself up and beckon him again to keep kissing him and learn, through his talented tongue, how you taste. He kisses the thin fabric of the shirt at your chest that covers you from view, your throat, your jaw, and before he reaches your impatient lips, he notes, sinfully, “Seems like you enjoyed yourself, love.”

“That was… unbelievable. Stars, I want to make you feel good too. Please show me how.”

“Keep kissing me,” he begs, voice still strained from how aroused he is. “I want to be inside you so bad. Let’s get you prepared.” You’re still so sensitive, you tread on overstimulation when his fingers lightly touch your clit, making you break the kiss in a hiss. He traces a line on your folds, inspecting the impact his mouth had on you. “So wet for me.”

“Bit slower, Gra,” He complies to your breathy plea, his fingers now more tame as he slowly spreads your wetness throughout your pussy. He stretches towards the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, interrupting his contact to spread some on his fingers before unhurriedly slipping his middle finger inside of you. The coldness of the gel makes you shiver in surprise, the easiness brought by it very welcomed. Again - the sensation is odd. Completely unfamiliar. The feeling of having something inside of you for the first time, going further than you ever dared to try, probing, exploring; the coldness of the lube clashing against your burning hot cunt. But it also felt nice. The focused look on his face was adorable, he looked like he was a scientist in the middle of very complex research.

Despite the panting, the messy hair and the fire in his eyes.

Your body already has a lot of new sensations to process simultaneously, so when he asks you to take off your bra and shirt so his tongue can work on your nipples - which you gladly accept, you feel like you’re on sensual overload. His tongue, again, so talented, takes your mind off the slight burning you feel when he introduces his ring finger to your soaked, throbbing core, his focused, carefully overpowering and constant stimulation driving you insane.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, voice muffled by your breast. You nod, carried by the wave of pleasure sweeping you.

“Yes. God, yes.” You pant, tangling your fingers tightly on his thick hair as an encouragement, a desperate sound escaping from your lips the moment he reaches a certain point within you you didn’t even know existed, hot mouth continuing to lick and suck your nipple. Even though you were spent by your last orgasm, he was indeed getting you addicted to those new feelings, and even though this was heavenly, truly heavenly, you needed more. “Gra, I’m ready, I think.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

Releasing your nipple from his lips with a sounding pop, he eagerly frees himself from his trousers - hard as a brick - and puts protection and lubrication on, swiftly positioning himself between your thighs while stroking himself to the sight in front of him. You motion to take off your skirt, and he holds your hand, not letting you. “Don’t. It’ll be really hot to fuck you in this.” He confesses, giving your forehead a kiss in a very different context than before. He aligns his forehead with yours, each of your lips just barely touching while you breathe each other’s air. He looks deep into your eyes, slowly running the tip of his cock between the slick folds of your pussy, coating himself in the remnants of your pleasure. “Do you trust me?”

You trust me to know your limits? Not to go any further if you don’t really want me to?

“Absolutely.”

The only response you get from him is a shuddering, helpless moan into your mouth and you hold him tighter to you, grinding your still sensitive cunt up against his cock while he pulls hard at the soft fur next to your head. You feel your soaking pussy lips part around the solid curve of his length and gradually coat the underside of him in slick with every gentle circle and roll your hips make, as he finally pulls away from your mouth to drop his forehead to your neck. He then, very slowly, penetrates you, stopping when he hears the noises you make indicating you’re struggling to adjust to his presence. Out of everything you’ve felt in the last minutes, this was by far the most painful sensation. “This-- is new,” you note, your face completely incapable of hiding the discomfort. He also notices that.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

“It’s okay. I’ll get used to it.”

“It’s not supposed to be about endurance, you know.” He says, a bit breathless and worried, caressing your hair. “Tell me when it’s okay to move. Or if you feel too much pain.”

After some long seconds and some deep breaths, you say: “Okay. Go on.”

“As you wish.”

He moves inside you at a very slow pace, the lubrication clearly making it easier for you to handle it. It still hurts, significantly, but the sensation of being filled is also surprisingly arousing.

His hand moves to your sensitive clit again in small, measured circles, your little moans being a mixture of the pain of penetration and the sheer ecstasy of seeing him falling apart because of you. The way his chest heaves while the drops of sweat start pearling his fair skin, the furrowed brows and broken groans, the thickness of him as he rests heavy up against your entrance, the way his voice presses deliciously tight in his throat as he gasps out into the quiet room - everything’s making your chest burst in love and satisfaction. You tighten your grip around him and roll your hips up into his cock, letting it break you open nice and slow; it stretches you wide with a deliciously sharp fullness and pleasure rips through you, and Graham becomes even more vocal as he picks up a steady and gradually faster pace. He turned all of your keys, it’s about time you turn some of his.

“Graham, deeper,” you whimper, continuing to tighten your legs and hoist yourself up, lifting your hips to take his cock deeper inside you. His name rips itself from your throat while Coxon clenches his jaw and starts to lose himself in the pleasure, holding you down into the bed while he allows your desperation to guide him to the perfect angle and speed to sate you. He found denying you to be impossible.

He snarls and curses as he holds you down and rails you, determined to make you sing again before he finishes, and to his delight, your heightened sensitivity gives him what he wants. And this time, he couldn't hold on.

Graham kisses you one last time as he groans and gives in, head dropping to your neck again. You didn’t reach a second climax, but stars, what an experience you just had.

When he comes back to himself enough to realise he still had you practically folded in half, he carefully pulls his softening cock free, taking the condom off and taking the strands of hair out of your face as you struggle to catch your breath. You suggest a shared bath, a suggestion he gladly accepts.

Too tired and too sore for pillow talk, comfortable silence falls as your hand finds his, and you lay, listening to each other’s breathing slowly settle.

I could get used to his little snore on my chest, is the last thought that twinkles on your mind before you fall asleep snuggled with him.

#graham coxon #alex james #damon albarn #dave rowntree #blur #britpop #smut #imagine #reader insert #graham coxon x reader #graham x reader #y/n #fluff #au #fanfiction #blur band

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gb-patch · 3 years

Text

Ask Answers: March 30th, 2021- Part 1

We’ve been really focused on getting the Step 3 DLC done and keeping up with asks kind of got away from me, aha. Thank you for waiting for a reply! We’re still definitely behind, but here’s a good chunk of responses!

I love Our Life so much but if the release of the step 3 dlc is in April, please don't "release" it on April 1, my poor heart can't take that prank 😭

Don’t worry! I’m horrible at pranks, haha. When we do post something specifically for April Fool’s it’s always to pretend it’s a joke when in reality it’s something we’re actually planning to do. But we don’t have anything like that arranged for this year. Any posts on April 1st will just be like normal.

Omigod, can you end the game in love with Cove but not in a relationship? My character stayed calm at the restaurant and Cove slept over at her home and I think I may have missed it. I'm delirious if I did, may never stop laughing. The children are idiots

Haha, yes, it is possible to be in love and still not get into an actual relationship. There’s no forced ending where the two are made to confess their feelings and accept, it’s all optional/avoidable.

How can you see the new main character cut-in images? I'm not trying to be rude, but, all of my playthroughs, but I haven't seen them yet. (I know you can go through an entire game without seeing them, but I have went through multiple games.)

It’s a bit of a spoiler to say here, but you can check out the guide we posted on Steam HERE!

Is it possible to win first place in the library quiz with Lizzy (Step 1 DLC)

Yep, it is! Someone made a guide for the answers HERE (it’s also on Steam). We probably shouldn’t have required a perfect score to win a children quiz, but oh well, haha.

Hello!

In the future (in step 4) can you marry Cove even if you are friends? I would love to have a platonic wedding with him!

I’m afraid not. As much as he cares for the MC when they’re besties, Cove would only really want an official marriage if it’s based on romance.

Hello! I bumped into Our Life randomly last month, and it is one of the best coincidences I have ever laid on. I love how the choices and little details in the story changes throughout the game, and I'm excited to keep supporting you! I'm absolutely in love with Cove and would like to ask what keeps him to be especially interested in the MC? Other than how you can choose what fondness level you have with him, what ultimately leads him to be in sync with us? Sorry if it's a little much & thank u!

Cove likes the MC because, regardless of the different personality traits you can give the MC, they meet him on his level, listen to him, understand him (even if you’re indifferent and not really close the MC still gets where he’s coming from), and if you’re fond/crush/love than you’re there for him. He finds the MC someone he can respect, trust, and, if they’re close, feel safe with. I’m glad you enjoyed the game!

hi there! for xoxo droplets i see the that female pronouns are used in the description, in the actual game can you change the pronouns or are they stuck as female? i'm aware the game is free, but i have a bad habit of buying dlc's before playing the game so it would be helpful to know before i spend money on it. if anything i'll save that money for more our life dlcs when they come out :D

XOXO Droplets does have a set MC. It’s the story of a specific person rather than a game about making your own story. All of our games prior to Our Life were about exploring MCs that were fully fleshed out people in their own right, so you can’t get the OL experience from what we did before. But we do plan to do more custom-style MCs going forward from here!

For the our life nsfw dlc, will you have to be in the patron to have it or will there be another way for people who really support the game but can't pay to get it?

I’m afraid not. We might put it up for sale somewhere other than Patreon someday (though never on Steam or Itch) since we know not everyone can use that site, but it will still cost money on any other hosting page we use. It’s unfortunately not a piece of content we can give away for free.

Hello! I finally got to play Xoxo Blood Droplets and it mentioned about a DLC coming out soon. Is it already out or are you still planning it?

We are still planning to finish it when we can, we just had to put it on hold because 2020 was a tough year and we needed to put all our focus on Our Life. There’s some of the extra DLC stories available for beta testing on the Patreon.

Is there a link to the soundtrack for Xoxo Blood Droplets? I really like the music in this game!

That’s not available yet, but we’ll probably put it up for sale once the rest of the stories are done.

Would there be any chance for XOXO Droplets OSTs to be released in the future? (Please take my money-)

We might! There are some things we wanna do and fix before we really start advertising XOXO Droplets things again, but hopefully it all comes together.

Why does Cove dislike Shiloh so much despite all of Shiloh's efforts to get along? I can understand his dislike for Lizzie, but why Shiloh?

They met under bad terms (with an arranged play date he had no choice in), Shiloh’s sort of pushy himself when it comes to trying to get along, and Cove thinks he’s just kind of unusual in how he interacts/reacts with people. They don’t click, basically.

Is there a way to have your character be a tsundere? And have Cove toughened up a bit due to that? Sorry if the is a stupid question! ^^;

Maybe? The options in the game aren’t based on those types of personality tropes and I don’t know them well enough to say if you can accurately find a way to make it work with the available options. But it’s not a stupid question, I’m sure plenty of other people have considered something similar c:

do voiced names work only with their exact spelling? cause my mc is called Sophia and one of the voiced names is Soffia so i was wondering but if only works like that it's fine (sorry if i made any mistakes, english isn't my first language)

“Voice” and “text” are separate! You can pick the “voice” you want and then type in whatever “text” you prefer. And your English is really good.

Will OL:NF be based on a season/break like the first game? Or some other type of setting?

Our Life: Now & Forever takes place over the full course of Autumn. So, the start of school and then into the fall holiday season type of time period.

Will we ever see a jealous cove😭😭 please im begging u-

Only in small ways, really. Sadly, I’m just not someone who enjoys jealousy in stories and therefore I don’t know how to implement it in a way that feels enjoyable. Maybe I’ll figure out a angle I can work with in future projects.

Do you have any plans with Our Life once step 4 has been released along with step 3's DLCs?

After the Step 3 DLCs and Step 4 we’ll be releasing the Cove wedding DLC, the Derek romance DLC, and then the Baxter romance DLC. The project will likely be considered fully complete at that point.

Hello, I just needed to first of all sat how amazed I was when I discovered this game. I thought I would be disappointed by the lack of love interests, but you worked so hard to make sure Cove is the Best Boy for so many different people!! It really has been my comfort game for a while now, and I think all the different choices you allow make it the best romance game I’ve played in my life. The only problem is now my expectations for love are Cove level, and no one can live up to that. You’ve put so much consideration to make this game super inclusive and I think it’s amazing. If I can ask, for the exclusive NSFW Patreon dlc, will it only be available for the month it comes out? Or could I become a patron months later and still be able to download it. I just don’t have a job right now otherwise I would LOVE to subscribe to your Patreon and definitely will once I have the money again!! Thank you so so much for making such a lovely game that’s brought me so much joy.

Hiya! I'm so sorry for sounding like a complete degenerate for asking, but will the nsfw moment on patreon still be available even if i'm not a patron of the month it comes out? (e.g. i didnt pay/join the necessary tier before the moment is released) Thank you for your hard work on OL, I really connected with Cove in a way I never anticipated.

Thank you very much for such kind words! The Patreon DLC will be up for download on the Patreon indefinitely once it’s done. Just like the normal DLCs, you can pay to get it whenever you like but it won’t be up for sale until it’s finished. So take all the time you need.

Sorry to bother you guys, but there was an earlier ask detailing the OL LI's love languages and I was just wondering- Would that be for them personally, as in what they do, or the love language they enjoy receiving the most? Because I know for some people it's different for both on giving and receiving and was a bit confused, haha. Sorry for the trouble, your games are really nice!

For Cove and Derek it’s what they like to receive and what they give. For Baxter, it’s what he likes to get. What he gives is tailored to his partner. He’s flexible that way~ And it’s no trouble.

asking (and also fanning... fanboying? fangirling? fanpersoning? screw it- from a distance) anonymously because my confidence is nonexistent.

will you be doing a kickstarter for our life: now and forever? i know it's probably been asked and mentioned before, but will you be doing a kickstarter akin to the one done for our life: beginnings and always? if so, will you be doing similar tier rewards? (if you guys do so, i will [politely] throw my money at you).

now, to the fan.. personing? FAN. uhm. to the part where this anonymous agender idiot will begin to act as the fan they are.

THE GAME IS SO. SO NICE. IT'S CUSTOMIZABLE. I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT PART. AAAAA I ALSO ENJOY THAT YOU GAVE US THE OPTION TO JUST STAY BEST FRIENDS OR SOMETHING A8DBAIHEW- AND YOU INCLUDED AROS AND ACES IN THAT SEXUALITY CHOOSING PART- aaaAAA AND YOU MADE ELIZABETH FILIPINO- THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR CREATING SUCH AN INCLUSIVE GAME!!!

to summarize; will you be doing a kickstarter? and thank you for creating such a nice game. i, and likely the majority if not all of those who have played the game, am thankful.

Aw, thanks <3! I’m so happy it was such a nice experience for you. We are planning on having a Kickstarter for Our Life: Now & Forever. It’ll have similar rewards to the Our Life: O&A Kickstarter, but some changes will have to be made. Like, we’ll definitely need to increase the rate for getting a voiced name. Originally it was $3USD, which was super low for how much work it really took to add in a customized piece of voice acting, aha. Live and learn.

So sorry if you've already answered this, I looked but I couldn't find anything. Is the 18+ DLC coming out alongside the Step 3 DLC, or do they have different development timelines entirely? I'm so excited for all the DLC coming out in the future, and even though the release dates aren't out, I'm already counting down the days. :)

They have different development times and will come out separately. Despite taking place in the same Step period, they’re disconnected pieces of content and making progress on one doesn’t mean the other is closer to being finished. The normal Step 3 DLC is releasing first. It’s great to hear you’re looking forward to them!

Hey!! I'm absolutely LOVING Our Life! I have been pondering on one question though, what's Cove's ethnicity, if there is a set one? Or is it something we can Headcanon?

hi hi! i wanted to say first of all that i absolutely adore our life. it's one of my favourite games of 2020, and i think it was just the perfect dose of positivity we all needed, even if you didn't intend to release it during such a hectic year lol! secondly, i wanted to say: if it's alright to ask, what ethnicity is cove? :-0 and what about his parents? i was just curious about it ^^)/ thank you!!

Cove’s mom, Kyra, is white. But his dad’s, Cliff’s, race doesn’t come up and players are able to headcanon it. So Cove is half white and half whatever you prefer Cliff to be!

hello! there was a post on the patreon where you can run your fingers down cove's chest in errands - how do you get that scene? ♥

That was an old mistake on my part- you can only get that scene in the Ending rather Errands. You have to leave the big family dinner at the restaurant to go into the car, be dating Cove for a while, have Cove come see you there, and then mention using your hands when Cove makes a joke about hands.

in baxter’s dlc, is there any point where you can tell him about the previous renters of the condo?

You can talk to him about that in the normal Step 3 DLC!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you for all the interest in our games everybody :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever #ask #ourlifeba #ourlifenf #gb patch #gb patch games #long post

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amazingphilza · 4 years

Text

bench bois :: c!tommy x reader

fluff (?) , platonic , gender neutral ! inspired by wallow’s are you bored yet?

there was never a dull moment on the server which was both a good and bad thing

tommy had recently gotten out of the prison after allegedly being pronounced dead by sam

you felt bad for him

he missed out on so much; his best friend had gotten a platonic husband and even a child

not only that but everyone treated him differently

he was the first person to be revived after losing all 3 of their lives

the revive book was real

but you didnt looked at tommy as some experiment or someone different to as he was before the prolonged visit

frankly, you couldn’t even process the fact that dream took his last life

it wasn’t that you were in denial for the whole month of him being gone, you just couldn’t accept what happened without seeing proof yourself

of course you couldn’t visit the prison just to prove a point, but you knew deep inside it couldn’t be over that easily

you knew dream well enough that he wouldn’t do that to tommy

not yet anyway

it was a bit morbid to acknowledge, but dream was the type to toy with tommy until the last straw and him dying over a visit didn’t seem like it would’ve been the most fitting outcome

you sighed at the bitter thought and made your mind go off to something else whilst continuing to wait in front of puffy’s therapy office

it was tommy’s first session with puffy and you wanted to support him in any way you could and the least you could do was walk him home after it

you couldn’t even imagine how bad things could be in tommy’s mind so you thought even the littlest distractions could possibly help

after a bit of more waiting, tommy stepped out the office and greeted you with a halfhearted smile

tommy was smiling through the pain but you knew it was the best he could do at the moment; just bringing yourself to see a therapist took a lot of work and courage

after a bit of silence whilst you two walked on the prime path back to tommy’s house, you decided to make conversation

“so.. how was it? like everything with puffy?”

“it’s okay. i’ll be seeing her later this week. we’re still figuring out how often we should meet.. but you really don’t need to wait for me every time if that’s what you’re asking.”

you were saddened that tommy thought you were only accompanying him out of pity

“no, no! i mean, i don’t even live in snowchester so it’s not far and i haven’t really been doing anything, and y’know i obviously care about you as well. just don’t worry about it, really.”

“oh, okay”

tommy’s response was flat but you couldn’t blame him

after an hour of letting our all problems and past experiences, it would be hard to talk too

you didn’t want to push tommy to continue talking but you also didn’t want to leave him alone with his thoughts during the walk

“oh yeah, are you busy later? i made some food earlier back at my house and i wanna give you some later, if you like cake and pumpkin pies. like i enjoy baking but damn,, it’s so hard to find stupid chickens and cows for the eggs and milk here like what the heck? what happened to all the dumb farms?”

you continue you ramble about pointless things in hopes tommy wasnt spacing out

his quiet laughs were reassuring that he wasn’t completely bored

soon enough you made it to the top of tommy’s hill

you didn’t realize that it had been a long day until you saw the sun finally setting across the horizon

the walk from puffy’s office was short but refreshing, it was just what you both needed

instead of heading to tommy’s front doors, you nonverbally gestured over to the wood bench to sit on

tommy got the message and joined you on the seat

the view was perfect, the sun was slowly setting and the skies were a mix of orange and red hues

despite everything that happened in the recent months, you felt at peace

you and tommy were occupied from admiring the beautiful sky and hadn’t spoken for what seemed like ages

for a moment you saw the contentment tommy had in his eyes but they quickly changed back to his gloomy mood

you couldn’t help but ask “what’s wrong?”

“i dunno, i don’t really have an answer”

you knew you didn’t want to pry but at the same time you wanted tommy to elaborate

“how come?”

instead of replying, tommy huffed and settled down, lying his head on top of your shoulder for support and closing his eyes

you indulged in the silence and watched the sun slowly disappear from your eyesight and as the sunset orange skies turned dark, adorned with many tiny stars

after a while you couldn’t tell whether tommy was asleep

in the corner of your eye you could still see his eyes were shut, but to your surprise he spoke up

“are you bored yet?”

by his tone he seemed concerned that he was taking up too much of your time

you let out a quiet hum letting him know you didn’t mind spending time like this

you had a soft smile on your face and were just glad he was finally getting some rest and closure

tommy was one of your best friends and you couldn’t ask for more

it wasn’t a lot but you knew even small progress could still go far in the long run

in that moment it was like all your worries had washed away

you didn’t want to break the silence but you still wanted to remind tommy you cared for him

“hey, you know, anytime if you’re feeling lonely, you should tell me. if you need to talk, i’ll be here ready to listen on this bench.”

“thank you for always being here, y/n”

tommy lifted his head and looked at you

“bench bois?”

you laughed at the name

“with an i?”

“with an i.”

you smiled knowing that the ‘bois’ wasn’t directed at any gender in particular, it was just a nickname tommy referred all his close friends to as

something about it felt lighthearted and comforting

the bench bois

#i have no idea what my thinking process was #it’s 5am and i could’ve brought the plot in a different narrative but here we are #might private later who knows #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x you #c!tommy x reader #tommyinnit imagine #tommyinnit fanfic

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werenotadulting · 3 years

Text

Routine Procedure - Finale

Author's note - Hope you enjoyed!

Part 7 - Kate

If you'd asked her, Kate wouldn't have been able to tell what exactly had gotten her interested in it.

Maybe it was the idea of the power dynamic. She had always been one of those girls labeled as 'bossy' growing up, which was a misogynistic way of saying that she wasn't afraid to speak up and speak her mind.

Or maybe it was the subversion of expectations of a traditional relationship that did it for her. The idea that she was the one in control, the one making all the decisions.

Maybe it was the fact that it was so taboo and kinky that appealed to her. It didnt really matter, whatever the reason.

Kate was into being a Mommy Domme, and Kate found nothing hotter than having a diapered little bitch boy to call her own.

The ultimate fantasy was teaching the boy to love and trust his diapers. Make him associate orgasming with wet diapers and diaper changes. Create a leaking "accident" in public so he learns that while thicker diapers might increase the risk of being noticed, they save you from the embarrassment of wet pants.

Of course, she had considered bringing up her desires to Mike, but based off of past experiences, she didn't want to chance it. Mike was just too perfect of a guy to risk blowing it like that.

She had always been the dominant one in bed, with Mike eagerly submitting to her every whim, so she knew they were sexually compatible. It had never gone past light bondage though, and Kate was starting to get an itch that handcuffs and blindfolds just wouldn't scratch.

────────

It had come up entirely by chance, one day while she was scrolling through an obscure ABDL forum.

The post read: "Biomedical engineer here, and I think I've figured out a way to induce instant, semi-permanent incontinence."

The post was over 3 days old, and only had two comments on it. The first was from a mod, basically saying to take everyone's posts with a grain of salt. The second was from the OP, about 24 hours after the original post.

"I know it sounds like a fantasy, but I'm pretty confident it will work. I've had a career in medical devices for the last 8 years, specializing in the urology space. I don't want to get too deep into the details on here, so just PM me of you're interested."

Kate rolled her eyes.

Everyone in this community is so hooked on the 'I want to be instantly incontinent' thing, and all it ever ends up being is some silly fap content, she thought to herself.

"You know what, let's feed the troll and see what bites," she muttered.

Liv2DomU: ok spill, what's your magical method?

PrinceOfPadding: this for you, or someone else?

Liv: hypothetically, let's say it's for a boyfriend

Prince: Ahh okay. Very interesting. Well, like I said, I've worked in med device for awhile, and I've recently started my own company. I primarily work in the urology space, catheters, scopes, that kind of stuff.

Liv: hmm hate to break it to u bud, but catheters kinda already exist

Prince: oh sure, catheters exist, but my idea is to bridge the catheter world with the stent world

Liv: sounds idk...sketchy? illegal?

As she read more, Kate was beginning to think that this guy might not be as full of crap as she had initially thought. He had his own start-up, which had already launched a Foley catheter to the market. It was all above-board and legit.

Prince: so, for the aspiring incontinent-person-to-be, the ring is positioned with a catheter, and stays in place once the Foley is removed. Then overtime, probably a month at minimum, depending on the chemical makeup and customer desire, the ring breaks down and is naturally absorbed into the body. And they all sign a consent form saying they accept the risks of such a procedure.

Liv: so then once it's dissolved they are back to being being able to control their bladder?

Prince: that's the theory, yes

Liv: theory?

Prince: well, dissolvable stent technology present state takes like 18 months to break down, and the manufacturing of it is patented and kept under lock and key

Liv: so basically all you have to offer is a catheter lol

Prince: well no. I've got some good leads on dissolvable compounds, but I've got to do trials of the rings first to see if it would even work. I've promised free diapers for the first few months if people sign up, but it's been hard to get subjects

Liv: so these trial rings wouldn't dissolve?

Prince: nope

Liv: meaning my hypothetical boyfriend would be....?

Prince: permanently diaper dependent, yeah

────────

In the end Kate was curious enough that she was willing to hear the guy out.

He'd asked for a mailing address and her phone number. The first was to send proof that his company was real, and the second was just to keep in contact should she decide to proceed.

It all made sense, at least in theory. Foley catheters were safe, provided they were inserted by a trained healthcare professional. A normal person would get a normal catheter just like everyone else. But an ABDL would be signing up for what was essentially an intentionally faulty catheter.

Assuming they knew they were willingly signing up for it.

When asked about 'accidental' ring implants, Prince had basically said, hey, people really need to learn to read the fine print.

────────

I walked out to the mailbox. I've been expecting test results back from the scan I'd had a few weeks back. Opening up the box, I noticed a large envelope with my hospital's address on the front.

About time, I thought, grabbing the envelope and the rest of the mail.

I walked back into the house, where Kate was making herself a cup of tea.

"Anything good in the mail?" she asked, taking a sip from her mug.

I listed them aloud as I started to flip though the mail, "Looks like some junk mail, an internet bill, a brochure for some UroVention medical thing, and last but not least, my test results."

I dropped the rest of the mail on the counter and started to open up my scan results. As I was reading, Kate walked over and began sorting through the other mail.

"Oh good, they said it's benign, but they're still worried about the location. They're recommending removal, just to be on the safe side."

"Removal for something benign? That sounds odd, but whatever," Kate said, tucking something into her back pocket.

"I'm not too worried. It sounds like it should be a pretty routine procedure."

────────

Part 8 - Mike

I sat down on the couch, my diaper squishing underneath me. Kate had taken to putting two stuffers in my diaper, even though these Tykables could already hold a lot. The warm, comforting feeling of my wet diaper started to turn me on, just like it did every time I realized how wet I was or if I was about to get a change. Not that I could do anything about it, though.

I flipped open the laptop and signed in. It would probably be a good hour before Kate got back from the store. Apparently I was being downgraded from sippy cups to bottles.

Once logged in, I noticed that the screen was still up to the site where Kate had last been. It was another diaper order, this time a case of Megamaxes. I felt my cheeks start to heat up, seeing that Kate had chosen the pink color for the whole case.

I opened up a private window, and navigated to KinkLink. My profile on here was pretty bare. It always had been, just containing my age, gender, and some basic interests. I hadn't even bothered to post a picture when I set it up. I preferred to look at other people's profiles rather than post things of my own.

I was always intrigued by people's locations and how close they were to where I lived. One such person who I came back to check the posts of daily was a mommy domme, who it happened lived in my town. Her first posts, from nearly three years ago, were what had first caught my attention.

'Every night I dream about finding my perfect diaper slut. He will wake up to me rubbing his thick, soggy padding, the little bedwetter that I turned him into.'

'Picture this: You, in a wet diaper and nothing else. Me, in my black lingerie with a strap on. Do I have any volunteers?'

'Have no doubt, if you date me, it's diapers forever. There's no "only at home" or "but my parents are coming over". Maybe I'll just find a way to make you incontinent. Then you won't have an excuse.'

And then there were the pictures. She never would show her face, but she didn't need to.. She wasn't lying about the black lingerie. It left very little to the imagination. Then the next picture, where the bra came off, and she was just in her lacy panties, her pierced nipples and tattoos on display. Maybe it was the octopus tattoo on her arm, my favorite animal, that made her stick out to me.

But there was one post that I always came back to and was entranced by. It was a picture of her holding an ABU Kiddo, right below her breasts. She wasn't wearing any clothing.

'Aww baby, did you wet the bed? I think we should probably put you in some protection.'

────────

I stood in line at the coffee shop. It wasn't too busy for a Tuesday at 9 a.m., only two people were ahead of me. As the first person in line got her coffee and the second lady stepped up to place her order, I checked my phone. Still a half hour before I needed to be at work, I had some time to sit and enjoy my drink. I got my usual and went off to a booth in the corner.

"Excuse me, but do you happen to know what the Wi-Fi password is here?"

I looked up to see the woman who had been in front of me in line.

"Oh um, yeah it's....oh I think they just changed it. Try 'PINTO'. They always pick some sort of bean, I think they find it amusing, but it's never a coffee bean..." I trailed off.

She smiled, "Oh thank you so much, yeah I'll try that."

My mouth fell open is shock.

"I uhhh...I like your tattoo," I said. "They're my, um, favorite animal."

"Oh mine too! Isn't the octopus, like, the coolest animal?"

"D-definitely. Hey, would you like to sit with me? I'm just hanging out while I wait for work. My name is Mike by the way."

"That sounds really nice. Thank you, Mike. I'm Kate."

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logically-asexual · 4 years

Text

im so annoyed about this whole remus and logan thing i can’t stop thinking about it. so a long ramble under the cut.

i finally am being able to put into words what bothers me about logan’s character development, particularly him vs the dark sides.

first of all, virgil. virgil had a whole season for his development that was kind of natural and credible. he is a nuisance in different ways, thomas recognizes he has anxiety and looks for ways to cope, which logan learns to bring up later, then virgil keeps causing trouble but makes some good points sometimes, then thomas decides to accept him for the good he brings and they all manage better. all this happens within episodes that aren’t always about anxiety. they SHOW us how the sides’ perception of him and his character have changed through the stories, instead of lecturing us about it.

with janus they kind of attempted the same thing but with a speedrun of three episodes that crammed everything together with little plot. in fact the plot is just an excuse to make every single step of janus’s developement happen, and this progress with janus is the center of the episodes. at least there is some plot, but its not as natural, we don’t see thomas struggle with him casually, we don’t see logan or patton learning information about how to deal with him. its not how a normal person would go through this. but we do see different stages of his acceptance and we see all the sides learning new things about janus gradually.

but then with remus they just pressed literally everything in one video and all the learning thomas would have to do about him and dealing with him that he did with virgil in an entire year happens in?? 40 minutes? because he (logan) somehow already knew everything and he just had to remind himself (patton and virgil) of it?

that’s how i see the dark sides’ development (?). now logan.

with virgil you could assume logan took note of what Lilly said in that first video, then logan and had thomas research about it and find strategies to later use them when they were necessary. as if Taking on Anxiety was a first step with learner’s wheels and then My Negative Thinking was thomas being able to repeat the process on his own. it makes sense. first someone teaches you and then you do it independently. you can believe there was a learning process with Logan’s help right there, beginning with Logan (and thomas) not knowing something and then researching (between videos), understanding it, to finally accepting it.

after the debate logan was still neutral about virgil, and was pushed to reflect more about his role until he disappeared, to finally come to the realization of why he was necessary, by remembering a small fact he learned while researching strategies (the yerkes dodson curve). that one isnt a streategy, so makes sense that logan just saved the info and didnt completely internalize it until it became useful. thomas learned what he was told to and then used it when the situation required it.

but with janus and remus thomas has to figure it all out on his own. except he doesn’t, because Logan already knew everything. he already knows what the dark sides represent, every single thing they encompass, he knows what the studies say about the problems they cause, he has understood, accepted, and internalized everything before the videos even start!! and then its only him telling the rest of the sides what he already learned on his own? he learned all this with the rest not being present or without it causing any emotion whatsoever? how can logan memorize all this stuff if thomas used to be indifferent towards it? you learn through connection with your emotions. it mAKES NO SENSE that logan knows all this.

also logan is defensive and gets frustrated easily. thats essential to his character. and you could see he was annoyed and bothered by anxiety in the first season. anxiety got in his way sometimes so logan also didn’t want him around at the beginning. WHEn did logan have this development of suddently not caring at all what the dark sides do? not caring at all how remus affects thomas’s productivity while when roman does it he goes into screaming matches and even throwing stuff!!. it is stated that he does have feelings no matter how much he denies it, , then why doesn’t he feel anything At. All. when confronted by remus? why is he so calm around him? when did he learn to deal with him?

even worse: logan went through a whole arc of accepting virgil, just like the rest of them, but he still can’t even deal with Roman and Patton with whom he interacts literally every video?? he is so affected by them everytime they do something irrational, gets angry, and starts yelling about what does and doesn’t make sense. he says he doesn’t have this problem with remus because his ideas shouldn’t have an impact on thomas if they don’t let them. but when and how did he learn this? how does he know intrusive thoughts are different from other thoughts thomas has that he, as logic, doesn’t like?

logan said in the video its bad to try too hard to make sense of remus’s contributions. that sounds like something LOGIC would do. try too hard to make sense of him until (with experience and research) he realizes it is impossible and gets them nowhere, and also would end up hurting thomas more in the long run. then why can’t we see this development? how does he JUST. KNOW? how does he know before the duke is introduced what will and wont hurt thomas if this is the first time ever that thomas is hurt by him?

i can stay here complaining all day honestly. there’s so much logan as rational thinking, reason, logic, of a person (who doesn’t have any experience with therapy or believe in it, apparently) could have gone through while learning about dark sides of your personality. they dont have to show it on camera if they think they already showed enough of this process for virgil! but somehow imply that this development happened, and not just have logan suddenly be this perfect all knowing entity that knows exactly what to do before it happens. i think logan lecturing them about intrusive thoughts for 20 minutes was a lazy decision, no matter how much work it took to write those dialogues. its lazy because it doesn’t fit with the storytelling style they chose to make Sanders Sides with, but they didn’t take the time to figure out a way to make it fit.

im going off again.again i can do this all day. but im going to stop now. sigh.

#logan sanders #im no writer and i dont know much about intrusive thoughts #im just talking from my own reasoning #remus sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #ts criticism #? i guess thats how ppl are tagging it?

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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amateur-author597 · 3 years

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SERIOUS RISE OF THE TITANS SPOILERS

BUT I NEED TO RANT

SPOILERS ARE UNDER THE CUT I PROMISE

I STARTED ROTT TEN MINUTES AFTER IT CAME OUT AT 5:01 PM AEST AND FINISHED ROTT AT ROUGHLY 10 TO 7

I FINISHED THE MOVIE AND SAW 8 SPOILER POSTS WITHIN 2 MINUTES ON TUMBLR

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS AND PUT ALL SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT FOR YOUR POSTS AND TAG THEM PROPERLY

FIRST OFF

Everyone who said Blinky would die because of"and blinky" in the trailer

Fuck you

It was very fair but still I was so scared

Same to if those who said Archie died because he wasn't in the trailer

Again fair but I was terrified and anxious as hell

My heart could not have handled if he died or Douxie's grief but I'm still upset about what actually happened

And I wish Zoe showed up so they could give her some characterization

We find out she's known Douxie and been friends with him for over 900 years but she doesn't help with the Arcane Order?

And none of the hedge witches show up to help fight them to defend their home?!?!?!

SECOND!!! THE TRAIN SCENE!!!

YES

LOVED IT

GREAT

Jim you stupid string bean, I love you though

Claire, good job, that was some hard magic

Toby, go duke!

Douxie my husband, YAAASS QUEEN, GET IT BABY

The Police Station

It was so funny

Everything about it I loved

Douxari confusing the officers and being neutrally chaotic

Claire trying to be tough and silent

Toby spilling ALL the tea and the officers not believing him

Archie just being Archie and enjoying the confusion of the humans

KREL SHOWING UP WITH RICKY AND LUCY

YES

OMFG

Keep casually listing just about every spy agency in order

and then just

"And your mum"

What a legend

Literal King 👑

Honestly

Walter and Barbara

Them being engaged and happy

Y E S

Jim being best man

Y E S

Walter DYING before they could get married

N O

H E L L N O

ELI GREW UP!!!!!

MPREG STEVE

Very unpopular opinion

I loved it, so fucking funny

I don't even like mpreg normally

But I loved it as a random side plot cause they probably couldn't find an import part for every character and still give them their deserved screen time

Also, funny!

Krel was way too smug explaining to Steve that he would be pregnant, not Aja

You know how we as a fandom have all decided Krel is Aro/Ace icon or at least Aro spec and/or grey ace (something like that) I have no problem with this and love it, it makes me feel very validated, but what Krel just doesn't want kids and decided it's easier to not have romantic relationships, that's also a legitimate thing a lot of woman do

Does that mean gay guys can have biological kids on Akiridion 5?

BACK TO STEVE

I wish there was a bit where Steve called Lawrence on the phone calling him "dad" or "coach dad" and being like "Hey, I know you're probably busy, you're at school but I'm seriously freaking out and I need your help or advice" and explaining the whole Akiridion pregnancy and Coach just reassuring him gently and telling him that he and Steve's mum would support him and he wasn't alone and they weren't mad at him.

Douxie figuring out the sigil

Good job baby! Smart boy! I am very proud

You very smart

The Order bringing the Titans with Nari mind controlled

😬

That's all

Numora dying

Why! It's was so unnecessary!

I don't necessarily love her by any means

But still!

Dndndbebhsvehehrdidjbdisbeurbvtisjbsgsneosbsyneyjsosnsjdbdynsvsidbfindbzhndhdushdhushdbudhnm

*key spams in frustration*

This began much irritation that just increased

THE BRIDGE

ARCHIE LEFT DOUXIE HIS LONG LIFE FRIEND AND PLATONIC SOULMATE (NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME THAT NOT JOW FAMILIARS WORK IDC)

YES HE WAS STAYING WITH HIS DAD AND I RESPECT THAT

BUT GODDAMN IT CHARLIE

CHARLEMAGNE COULD HAVE JUST LIT THE TROLLS FOLLOWING THEM ON FIRE AND THEN FLOWN OUT

THE PORTAL WOULD HAVE CLOSED AT THE SAME TIME

OR THEY COULD HAVE FREED THE TROLLS

EITHER WAY

THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT

WTF HAPPENED THE WHOLE FOUND FAMILY THING THEH WERE PUSHING IN WIZARDS

WHY PUSH A GRIEVING DOUXIE TO ESSENTIALLY GET OVER IT AND ACCEPT ARCHIE AS HIS FAMILY CUZ HE WAS ALWAYS THERE JUST TO GET RID OF ARCHIE ANYWAY

DOUXIE WOULD HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM AGAIN

HE WOULD HAVE JUST SEEN "TELL DOUXIE I SAID GOODBYE" IN THE KRONOSPHERE AS HIS LAST MEMORY OF HIM

*INCREASING FRUSTRATION*

"No More Running"DOUXIE ALMOST DIED BRINGING NARI BACK

I KNEW HE WOULDNT DIE BUT I WAS STILL SCARED

I was sad

NARI AND SKRAEL'S BATTLE WAS PERFECT

CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE I WAS NOT PLEASED WITH NARI DYING

NOR DOUXIE BEING HELD BACK ONCE AGAIN FROM SAVING A LOVED ONE

"Nor more running"

Simple line

Sweet

Shattered me and my very being THE SWITCHING SPELL

AMAZING.YES.ILOVEDIT.

DOUXIE YOU SMART BRILLIANT BOY I AM SO FUCKING PROUD

Douxari was so chaotic and funny and pure in a very weird way

I was sad that THAT screenshot of Douxie and Archie wasn't actually Archie because he looked so happy chddling his familiar but it was still cute

Narxie was so fucking sarcastic when the Arcane Order realized the spell didn't work and I live for it

Walter and Barbara

Them being engaged and happy

Y E S

Jim being best man

Y E S

Walter DYING before they could get married

N O

H E L L N O

ELI GREW UP!!!!!

MPREG STEVE

I loved it, so fucking funny

Krel was way too smug explaining to Steve that he would be pregnant, not Aja

Does that mean gay guys can have biological kids on Akiridion 5?

BACK TO STEVE

Douxie figuring out the sigil

Good job baby! Smart boy! I am very proud

You very smart

The Order bringing the Titans with Nari mind controlled

😬

That's all

Numora dying

Why! It's was so unnecessary!

Dndndbebhsve hehr didjbdisbeurbvtisjbsgsneosbsyneyjsosnsjdbdynsvsidbfindbzhndhdushdhushdbud

*key spams in frustration*

THE BRIDGE

ARCHIE LEFT DOUXIE HIS LONG LIFE FRIEND AND PLATONIC SOULMATE (NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME THAT NOT JOW FAMILIARS WORK IDC)

YES HE WAS STAYING WITH HIS DAD AND I RESPECT THAT

BUT GODDAMN IT CHARLIE

CHARLEMAGNE COULD HAVE JUST LIT THE TROLLS FOLLOWING THEM ON FIRE AND THEN FLOWN OUT

THE PORTAL WOULD HAVE CLOSED AT THE SAME TIME

OR THEY COULD HAVE FREED THE TROLLS

EITHER WAY

THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT

Titan Nari

I was so scared when Douxie nearly passes out from lack of oxygen trying to save her

Claire did a great job and I like her but I feel like they're overpowering her without developing her

Nari and Skrael's battle was a cinematic masterpiece

Coach Lawrence seriously needs a break

NARI DYING WAS UNACCEPTABLE

DOUXIE BEING HELD BACK FROM HELPING HER WAS UNACCEPTABLE

"No more running" destroyed me

I AM STILL NOT OK

I DON'T THINK I EVER WILL BE

The 9th configuration

FOUND. FAMILY. CENTRAL.

I'M THE CHOSEN ONE BUT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE

YES

The Final Battle

I don't even know what to say

Aja. QUEEN.

RIP Varvatos

Rip Douxie that fall would have really fucking hurt

He definitely had broken ribs from that

I'm surprised he could walk after even while being supported against someone else to stand

Jim should have just stabbed Bellroc instead of talking

Jim should not have been able to walk and run perfectly fine after being stabbed even with all the adrenaline

Toby WTF MAN

GOOD JOB BUT FUCKING HELL

I LEGIT CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW IT HAPPENED

THE MOVIE CAME OUT 4 DAYS AGO (IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE THE RANT DONT JUDGE) AND I'VE WATCHED IT 5 TIMES AND I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW I MISSED IT EACH TIME

HOW DID TOBY CRASH?!?!

ANYWAY

TOBY DYING WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE

JIM SCREAMING OUT HIS NAME AS SOON AS HE REALIZED TOBY WASNT THERE

BLINKY AND ARGH LOOK OF PANIC AND WORRY CUZ THEY REALIZED TOBY DIDNT COME BACK WITH JIM

DOUXIE REALIZING HE FAILED TO PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE IMPORTANT TO HIM (EVEN IF HE DOESNT HAVE MUCH OF AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP WITH TOBY, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HE DIDN'T ADOPT THEM ALL AS HIS YOUNGER SIBLINGS)

"Always was, always will be" hurt my entire soul

The Time stone

This frustrated me so much it took me 3 days to write just this bit

Go back in time and save everyone?

Yes! Awesome!

Go back to the start the start

Also, I love and adore Toby

BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE

JIM GIVING THE AMULET AND RESPONSIBILITIES AWAY WHEN HE HAS 2 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AND KNOWS ALL OF HIS MISTAKES AND HOW TO FIX THEM

WTF

AS I SAID I LOVE TOBY AND I LIKE HIM ACHIEVING STUFF

BUT HES NOT TREATED AS BADLY AS THE FANDOM ACTS LIKE HE IS

AND LOGICALLY JIM MADE A STUPID DECISION CONSIDERING WHAT HE KNOWS

I get that he was tired of being the trollhunter

Largely because he was tired of not thinking he would do a good enough job

But odds are Toby will make some of the same mistakes and they'll be right back in that same position except maybe Claire will die that time around

And if you're sick of the trauma and responsibility of it than why would you dump it on your best friend

Once again I say, it was an illogical and dumb decision

I WILL BE RUNNING TO FANFICTIONS TO ESCAPE THIS CANON

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