#/ idealistic boy... check.

[adrift-in-thyme]

Roy and Ed have the best mentor - mentee relationship. Discuss.

THEY DO

Roy after thirty minutes discussing a plan: Ed did you listen to a word I said

Ed: yeah totally. I especially liked the part where you suggested we go get some sandwhiches. I heartily agree

Roy: *internal screaming*

[ego-meliorem-esse]

I present to you my years long obsession - female America.

This is not a Nyotalia version it's just a concept of "what if everything is the same but Alfred was born a girl". Like i see so much potential! In a world where all the odds are stacked against her, she despite it all gets to where she is today. Making good and bad decisions along the way.

A lil hc/backstory for my main girl:

• Given name (by dad Arthur) is Elizabeth Felicity Kirkland but during the revolution changes her last name to Jones. Her first name change happens in the 1820/1830s when she changes it to Alexandra, also dropping her second name. (I was young when I came across the name and it means "defender/protector of man" and I was /obessed/ so i just stick to it since she is a loser and just thinks it's a cool sounding name)

• She goes by Alex/Al and I think that's neat :)

• My girl is tall. Like 181 cm tall. Sender but with visible muscles. She does want a bigger behind but her Anglo-Saxon genetics say nah.

• As a child she spent more time in England due to her being a girl so I think even if Arthur was absent he didn't allow her to spend much time alone in the colonies. She resents that ofc

• Just like with Alfred, Alex is very fkn close to Matt even if she forgets to call him or check up on him for months at a time. Al: "Hey man I know I just called a while ago but how've you been? Matt: "you called me 5 months ago..."

• Works at NASA as a part time aeronaitical engeneer. Loves physics, hates chemistry (self projection im sorry)

• During the revolution she dressed up as a boy but the people she worked with knew she wasn't one. People went along with it anyway.

• Other than during the American revolution, she dressed in feminine presenting clothes up until the 1930s. After that it was trousers all the way!

• Alex was never a nurse during wartime but definitely did accountaint work in ww1 and later joined the Women’s Auxiliary Air Force (WAAF) where she stayed until 1943 when she joined her men fighting on the ground ( Conversion to Army status, Women's Army Corps - WAC). That's when she saw actual combat.

• Isn't fond of birds. Canaries are fine. Eagles are unsettling.

• Obsesses over a certan thing/hobby at a time up to a point where she perfects her skill. When she was about 14 (human years) it was the whole freedom and equality of man and all the politics regarding it. In the 1890s her obession was cars and motor vehicles. The 1910s brought a new obsession on womens rights. 1960s was space exploration where she devoted almost all her time researching and working for NASA, disregarding her goverment/state duties as a country. In the 1980s it was the internet. In 1990s she got really interested in the Balkan wars (self insert >:)) for whatever reason. Today her attention is mostly on social media and her attention span ia short af. Still really likes all things tech.

• Hasn't got many properties/real estate. Al does own a penthouse in Seaport, Boston and a late 17th and early 18th century colonial home in Newbury, Boston (that she needs to renovate asap). The only other real state she owns is in California, though modern and recently buit, it's not big nor does she spend much time there.

• Her personality is basicaly Alfred if he grew up as a woman and had to face opression based on sex and inequality that came with it. So still bubbly, extroverted, a social butterfly but also self-serving, idealistic, manipulative sprinkled in with sarcasm, cautiousness and craftiness. Same feckin sense of humour tho.

• In 1783, at the Treaty of Paris in Versailles both her and her father had to sign the document that started her independence (She herself had a human representitive 'cus of her age/sex bla bla but it was mostly formalities). At that signing Arthur gave her a flintlock pistol that he himself used in the 1640s. Not many words were exchanged, he just put it in her hand to keep. She still has it in her attic. Somewhere. She'd find it if she just takes the time to look for it I'm sure.

• In 1889 she straight up did her first war crime/murder of a fellow nation (if you don't count shooting her pops face off at Saratoga in 1777). After an altrication with Antonio that resulted in him insulting and slapping the girl for her audacity and mouthiness, she punched him straight in the jaw. A fight insued where she got ahold of his belt and straight up strangled him. Took her a while to process that and accept it. On the bright side Antonios scilence was heard around the world and while perplexed and insulted, older and influential (mostly male at that point) nations started to feel a glint of respect forming for the young startup.

• Al was given a family pocket watch by her father in the 90s (No more empire for Arthur so he sad :(((((( ) that was suppoaed to go to a firstborn son of a lord as an inheritance symbol. Everyone thought Jack would get it since Matt is techincally not Arthur's son. But even he would be expected to recieve it before Al. Then in an unexpected turn of events, while visiting her grumpy and nostalgeous empire-missing dad, Arthur pulled out the watch while eating stale kebabs in front of the telly and gave it to her casualy without as much as a word (The empire started with her, it shall end with her). She keeps it in her work desk drawer in a wooden box.

• Al and Zee have an interesting relationship. While being different in almost every aspect, there ia a mutual respect for eachother from eachother. While not really being able to see eye to eye, they are sisters in a certain roundabout and very fucked up way. Girls who learned that they are very much judged by their sex despite being daughters of a high ranking British lord. While aware that she will never be Alex/Elizabeth in her fathers eyes, Zee still gets treated as a treasure by her father. Much to Zee's annoyance.

• It's still Matt who's in Alex's shadow. Despite the dificulties she rises above and is the perfect child of an empire. Smart, intelligent, inquisitive, a fast learner and incredibly aware of the political and historical situation at all times. Even despite being a girl and less than a son in the eyes of a 17th/18th century society, she suceeds.

• Arthur wanted a son to come from his colonial endeavours, as all empires/nobility at the time did. And as all other empires at the time had. But ofc karma is a bitch and he's the only empire with an only child being a daughter. Though at first thougrly dissaponted, when he lays his eyes on his daughter for the first time, the only emotion he can feel is /joy/.

• Instead of sowing/knitting Al's education was very much focused on natural sciences, since that is where Arthur quickly realized she exels at. He swapped her Violin and General History of Music lessions with Astrophysics and The History of Astronomy. All in an attempt to stop her from making his ears bleed from the constant prattling about The Four Square Theorem or The Brachistocrone Curve. It only got worse, but his daughter was happy and content.

I have sooooo many more of these jfc i might do more later but for now this is all I can think of.

TLDR: Female America is great and has so much potential as a character hghhhhhhhh

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Huskerdust babies?? Please say more

GLADLY oh my god there was no way I was going to be able to restrain myself until I made time to write a fic. and right off the bat, so much credit goes to @minky-for-short who came up with this with me

Okay, I'm going to bullet point it for structure. And first off, whether you want this to be a trans Angel Dust or demon magic making it possible or Angel being a porn demon giving him different genitals, go crazy, I don't mind any interpretation

So the fact that this happens is a result of their gradual redemption. Demons aren't supposed to be able to reproduce but as Angel and Dusk slowly improve themselves, they start changing in ways they don't notice and the curse they have in Hell starts to weaken

Charlie is actually the first person to find out, she clocks that Angel is feeling sick which is pretty unusual because he's actually been cutting way back on his general debauchery, having a much healthier coping mechanism over behind the bar. He insists he's fine because he's used to powering through pain and discomfort with a smile on his face. But she won't have it, she's going to get him checked out

Healthcare is very hard to come by in Hell but Charlie can get him access to the facilities in the Sloth ring. But the doctors there are just as stumped, no one can figure out whats wrong with him, it's not a bad batch of drugs, its not a hangover, he's just throwing up and miserable and exhausted

They're back at the hotel and it's Charlie who notices the barest of little sentient sparks when Angel Dust moves but it's not coming from him, it's coming from inside him. And she's the one who realises. And Angel Dust is convinced she's spouting idealistic bullshit but he can't deny it

It's a while before he can bring himself to tell Husk, he's terrified that it means he'll just want to call things off with him, that he's clearly not a winning hand. But eventually they're sat together and Husk mentions casually that whenever he's ready to tell him whats bothering him, he'll listen. Like, he's realised he's scared but he still gave him the space to deal with it and thats what makes Angel Dust brave enough to say it out loud. And after a moment of quiet, Husk just shrugs and says well lets hope he makes a better daddy than he did an overlord, huh?

They have twins in the end, a boy and a girl. Both dads got to name one twin each so Husk calls their son Howard, Howie for short, after a famous magician and Angel Dust calls his daughter Belladonna, Bella for short, because he wanted to give her a name that made her sound strong and able to defend herself

The twins are utterly adorable, no one can deny it. They have the multiple arms from their pops and little heart shaped pink patches on black fur from their daddy, each with a set of wings like his too. They act a lot like kittens, rolling around and hissing and pouncing on whatever moves in the hotel

They're also unashamed trouble makers, they really only listen to their daddy and their pops, everyone else has to bribe them. Fortunately they're cute enough to get away with everything and anything.

The twins also have a super close bond with their Auntie Charlie. I can go into more detail about this in another post but she ends up with the contract for their souls to protect them from both Heaven and Valentino (Alastor has no interest in the babies, beyond not really minding as much as he should when they climb up him, knock his hat off and call him Uncle Al)

But yes I have many many ideas about these two being dads and their little demons and all of that so feel free to bug me about them!

[sleepingcup]

Asking out for a date while your working

Characters: Aesop Carl, Eli Clark, Naib Subedar, Norton Campbell, Mike Morton x Reader (Separate)

Game: Identity V (Modern Au)

Genre: Fluff

Summary: You are the manager at a cafe that was recently popular for a pure reason, you recently received customers who you recognized since high-school and university.

Aesop Carl

As much of an introvert as he is, he went out of his comfort zone just to check on you, he is the rarest customer you can ever get.

You honestly appreciate that he was here to see you, just be patient with him. But you swore that you saw red on his ears despite he was trying to keep a straight face yet he is hiding a smile.

You made sure that your cooking made Aesop happy. Although he is a picky eater on what meals he chooses, if it’s you Aesop won’t mind. He’d honestly appreciate that you really know his taste preferences and food balances, he doesn’t want a heavy meal.

You rarely see him smile so seeing it was pretty successful for you. He evenly decided to ask you out on a date without any hesitation or stammering before paying and leaving.

But it seems that as much as you are dense you are in a daze when the staff tells you that the pretty boy Aesop is asking you out on a date.

That is something that you were not expecting.

And yet you said yes to his invitation.

Poor Aesop, he was trying to contain his heartbeat including his blushing face once he is at home.

But in the end, he is extra happy when you are willing to go on a date with him. Who knows, he would give you a kiss on the cheek?

Eli Clark

He often visits you every time he finishes his work, and the staff often teases you that Eli is your lover. Of course, they were joking since he was handsome to have a girlfriend, but, you were not expecting him to show up just to visit you.

He was genuinely excited to see you, so you decided to let him take his time to order before you cook the food for him.

Although most of the cooking was Eli talking to you about “How are you?” or “Are you doing well in this job?” Mostly Eli’s concern and gives you the energy that you didn’t ask for but actually needed it.

But he would go out of his way to ask you out once he manage to get the timing right, that alone made you blush once you realize that he wanted to ask you out on a date.

Of course you would have to get use the staff teasing you about going on a date with Eli, then again that is also something that you are pretty much looking forward to.

Although you would need to make sure that the shift is finished, but you can be thankful to know that Eli was waiting for you.

Plus he made sure that the date went well, he made sure that you are comfortable, less stress, and mostly happy and romantic.

As a bonus part of the date, his pet owl Brooke Rose loves to nuzzle her feathers to your head as a sign of affection. Which Eli was struggling to not cry of happiness at the adorable sight.

Poor Eli, he is trying not to resist the temptation of giving you a hug and a kiss.

Naib Subedar

He visits you from time to time, but he mostly visits you in the early morning since he prefers pure peaceful silence rest assured that he will protect you.

Not only that he secretly enjoys the food that you made for him, Naib made sure that you are comfortable with your job. There are times where he often passes by the cafe just to make sure that you are still safe from harm, which you would need to explain the staff that Naib is there to keep an eye on you.

Then again one of the staff pointed out that you and Naib should REALLY go out on a date, they do have a point but you were not sure if he would really obliged.

One day Naib decided to ask you out on a date since he was told by his friends to ask you on a date, of course the man doesn’t have a good ideas about dating so he would need to adapt to something new.

And if you are wondering, you did say yes of his invitation to the date.

But the idealistic date went from eating to a restaurant was a place to a quiet relax place, have a picnic, and have a nice conversation with Naib which it was pretty romantic when you also include holding hands and feeling butterflies.

But once the date was over, Naib was hoping that he would invite you more to dating with him.

Norton Campbell

Funny, unlike Aesop, Eli, Naib, and Mike. Norton is your co-worker.

His visits are rare but he visits you during the afternoon, pretty much when you already know that he was the supplier carrying the stuff for restocking the cafe.

But in his free times he went out of his way to see you from time to time in the break room. You and Norton really do have a nice conversation from time to time but not really closer enough. While you were focusing on your job you didn’t noticed that Norton was staring at you from time to time and yet he didn’t have the chance to say it when the timing was worse.

One day you were working at the counter taking care of the cash register, and Norton decided to be your assistant.

The staff was trying to tell Norton to ask you out on a date, and yet he face shows that he needs to be paid extra for that to happen.

Till…. YOU decided to ask him out on a date.

He was surprised and yet tried his best to hide his flustered face while avoiding the laughter from the staff, but luckily he said yes.

You may not-no you DID noticed that Norton was VERY happy that you ask him out on a date. As a result he gave your head a kiss. Plus at the end of the shift you and Norton really had a good date at the restaurant, movie, and a sleepover at the 

Just be aware that he can be playful in the date.

Mike Morton

Well, that is interesting, he is one of your regular customers who arrive JUST FOR THE FOOD YOU MADE FOR HIM.

He would like to talk to you from time to time, like it would be something that he won’t mind wasting his time just to hang out with you. Although when he comes to you, it was extra tips for you from him like he is asking you to return the favor even if you barely do anything.

That alone never stop him from going near you just to get closer, even if it would be a restriction but never to you, after all he DID help you out behind the scenes on getting the customer’s opinions.

To return the favor is asking him out on a date.

Do you have any idea that would make him even happier.

He is willing to look forward for the date you manage to ask him out for, so it was the movies, live show watchings, and having a good time window shopping. It was one of his expectations when he clearly wanted to hang out with you.

Just like Norton, he is playful and flirty but he is the mixture of both for at least 100% of the time during the date, but be mindful that he can get protective at all times. After all he doesn’t want someone taking you away from him.

And if you manage to give him a kiss as a bonus for his reward, he won’t really hesitate to give you hugs and kisses as well. Plus he did want more PDA sooo.....good luck with that.

But don’t worry, he made sure that you actually enjoy his company.

[thegaangneedstherapy]

Fanfics to read if you like leaving it all behind

Most if not all of these contain very sensitive content. Check warnings and tags.

Risking It All

This is the second part of LIAB so if you haven’t read this READ IT NOW

War Crimes

Book one ends with two major diffrences: 1. Sokka went on the mission with Hahn (it did not go well) 2. Zhao survives the North Pole and that proves unfortunate for everybody (except Zhao, obviously)

Imprisoned on Zhao’s war ship, Sokka and Zuko have to work together to survive. They are not very enthusiastic about this prospect.

And they argue.

A lot.

The Art of Burning

Zuko is kidnapped by the southern water tribe and an accidental found family is formed. then torn apart. And angst and zukka.

National Treasure

Zuko was never banished from the fire nation, he tried to fight the agni kai, he got burned, but he was never banished. only for the fact that he was considered a national treasure for his kindness and compassion to the people. When the gaang finds this out, they hatch a plot hoping to end the war once and for all,spoilers, nothing goes according to plan.

Ozymandias, King of Kings

After that fateful Agni Kai, Ozai makes a different call. Branded as a traitor and banished to a prison camp, Zuko learns how cruel the Fire Nation can be to its citizens. Three years, a water tribe raid, and an unexpected meeting with a gang of over-enthusiastic idealistic children puts Zuko back in the spotlight. The revolution is coming and it wants another poster boy, but Zuko is not willing to lend his face to the cause.

Unpathed Waters, Undreamed Shores

Sokka is a sea-walker and when he finds himself pulled onto a Fire Nation ship, he chooses to stay aboard as their would-be "captive" rather than reveal the Water Tribe's secrets. He forms an unlikely bond with the exiled prince of the Fire Nation. there are still secrets and conflicts that can't be erased, and it's up to each of them to decide if they'll choose the worlds they're used to or fight for a new world where they can be together.

Mountains and Badgermolehills

NOT ZUKKA⚠️

It’s good but sadly they are straight

After the Blue Spirit frees the Avatar from the Pohuai Stronghold, Admiral Zhao captures Prince Zuko under suspicion of treason. Isolated from his Uncle and his crew, Zuko has only one ally: the chatty prisoner one cell over.

Feel free to recommend some in the comments

(More fics to be added later)

[dreamcubed]

london boy | fred weasley x reader

song; london boy [taylor swift] pairing; fred weasley x fem!american!thunderbird!reader genre; s2l, fluff word count; 3,1k timeline; post-second wizarding war au (fred lives) warnings; swearing, alcohol consumption summary; after taking the plunge and moving across the world, you are unsure of how to form a new social circle and support system. it appears there was no need to worry, as you soon meet a charming man who runs a joke shop with his twin brother

a/n; this was actually suggested by an anon! sorry it took a couple months to write

masterlist

"babe, don't threaten me with a good time."

———————————————

The Second Wizarding War, while primarily occurring in battles throughout the United Kingdom, was something that had put the global wizarding world at stake. The United States were no exception, and as a recent graduate of Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you decided to wander across the pond to the country where the liberty of witches and wizards was saved. That, and you had no other plans for the course of your life.

You worked for the first year after your graduation in order to save up money for the move, but you were pleased to say you had finally stepped foot in England: specifically, Diagon Alley.

It was where you had managed to rent a small flat from, as arranged thanks to your mother having connections in the area as a result of her travels back in the day. You were beyond excited to meet new people and settle into a new life.

But you did need a job.

Your savings would suffice for a few months, which would hopefully give you sufficient time to secure an income - key word, hopefully. First on the agenda, however, was exploring your new local area to see if you could make new friends early doors.

And so you found yourself stood outside a completely buzzing joke shop, after visiting the local bakery and book shop. The name of shop was written in gold: Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Chadwick, that was a tongue twister - fitting, you supposed.

You pushed open the door to be greeted by both the bell tinkling above you and the sound of laughing children (and even adults) in all corners of the establishment. A smile pulled its way on to your face as you began walking towards the nearest display table, covered in enchanted prank items. You picked up what appeared to be a normal whoopie cushion, and began examining it.

"Looks normal, but is in fact quite the opposite," a British voice in your left ear caught you off guard, making you quickly turn to be greeted by a tall ginger-haired man, "First of all, it camouflages once it's set down, so anyone who's smart enough to check their seats before sitting down can't catch you out."

You stared blankly at the man.

"Second, it doesn't just make a fart sound, it produces the whole package," he grinned, "A hyper realistic fart smell - and even a greenish smoke if the person sits down with a lot of force."

You came to your senses and smiled, putting the cushion delicately back down. "I'm guessing you're Weasley?"

"One of them," he nodded, "There's two others - one of them fresh out of Hogwarts."

You hummed.

"And I was gonna ask why I don't recognise you from school, but I think your accent gives me the answer."

"Yep, I'm an Ilvermorny grad."

"First time in Britain?"

You nodded, "So far, I love it."

He grimaced, "Depends where you go, Diagon Alley gives you an idealistic impression. How long you here for?"

"Indefinitely."

"Oh?" he quirked an eyebrow, "You're living here?"

"As of today," you smiled, "Y/N. Y/N L/N."

"Fred Weasley," he replied, "Allow me to be your first friend in this foreign country."

You giggled at his feigned poshness.

"What are your plans for work?" he asked, beginning to walk away. Instinctively, you began following him.

You shrugged, "I don't know. Haven't thought that far ahead."

"Oh?"

"I have some money saved while I settle in and find a job."

"That's good," he nodded.

"Have you always wanted to run a joke shop?" you asked.

"Oh, yeah. Always," he said with a smile, "Me and my twin brother, George, have loved pranks since we were kids."

You raised an eyebrow, "Twin?"

"Identical - well, used to be. He has a missing ear now so no one ever mixes us up anymore. Sad, really."

You didn't have to ask how he lost the ear.

"Our younger brother, Ron, decided to join us too. Although I don't think it's a childhood dream of his."

"How many siblings do you have?"

"Six."

Your eyes widened, "Six?"

"Five brothers, one sister."

"Your poor sister."

"Well, she's not doing too bad for herself. She's just starting her quidditch career and she's dating none other than Harry Potter so," he shrugged.

"You know Harry Potter?"

He laughed, "Well, I went to school with him, so yeah. Although I suppose I am a bit closer than normal as Ron's his best mate and my sister's dating him. He actually helped fund the start of this very establishment."

"That's cool."

Fred beamed at you, "Wanna grab a coffee after my shift?"

***

"So, yeah, that's how I ended up losing my virginity to a no-maj," you finished off, sipping on your piccolo, "Poor guy doesn't know he lost his to a witch."

"How do you know it was his first time?" Fred chuckled, sat opposite you, having been intently listening to the story.

"Because he started crying afterwards saying how God was never gonna forgive him for not saving himself for marriage," you said through stifled laughter.

By this point, Fred was practically cackling.

"Honestly, I took it as a compliment. I'm sexy enough to get a guy to suspend his beliefs for a couple hours."

"Not surprised about that," he gave the slightest of smirks to you.

You stopped laughing, suddenly feeling flushed and embarrassed.

"You told a guy you just met how you lost your virginity and only now you get shy?"

You scoffed, "I didn't realise there were rules around when I'm allowed to get shy."

Fred shrugged, "There should be- by that I mean, you should have to do it more. You're cute when you're shy."

You couldn't help your lips from stretching into a grin.

"Oh, shit, is that the time?"

"What?"

"I agreed to meet some of my brothers and friends for drinks at the Leaky Cauldron."

"Oh-"

"Wanna come?" he quickly asked.

You frowned, "I don't wanna intrude."

"Don't be silly, I grew up on a 'the more, the merrier' policy."

"Well, if you're sure- fuck it."

***

"Fred, there you are!" a voice rang out from the bar, where a group of guys were gathered.

"Where you been, mate?" a man identical to Fred (save for a missing ear) said.

"If you'd been at the shop today, you'd know."

George, the name you remembered from Fred's many stories, laughed, "I'm just teasing. Ron told me," he nodded his head towards one of the other ginger men in the group. That was when he turned to look at you. "So, you're the mysterious lady Freddie disappeared off with."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N."

"Ooh, accent!" the man who had initially called out to you both said.

"Alright, alright. Y/N, that's Lee there, this is my twin, George- obviously. Over there is Ron, Wood, and one of my older brothers, Bill."

They all greeted you.

"So, where in America you from?" Bill asked.

***

Some way, some how, many firewhiskeys later you found yourself laughing your ass off with a bunch of guys you had only met a few hours ago. You were drunker than the rest of them, that was for sure, as despite US drinking laws not having stopped you from drinking to drunkenness before, they still meant you had had less opportunity to do so. Thus, your tolerance wasn't good.

At some point during the evening, your group had migrated from the bar to a larger table in the corner, where you sat with Fred's arm around you.

"Oh, come on, Ron, you have to admit it's a little ironic that your girlfriend is on her way to be the next Minister of Magic meanwhile you run a joke shop," George said through wheezes.

Ron's expression suddenly went solemn, "How could you say that to me?"

Everyone went silent for a few moments, until Ron erupted in laughter again with everyone else swiftly following. You found it even funnier that the jokes weren't actually funny anymore: you all were just plastered.

As the laughter died down again, you turned to Fred at your side, "I like your friends."

"Better not like 'em more than me," he said, "I know it's only been a day but I'd like to think I've already called dibs on you."

"Called dibs on me?"

"Yeah, well, dibs on being the first British guy you date."

You grinned, "That's up to you to make it happen, London boy."

"I'm not even from London," he retorted.

"Eh, tomato, tomato."

***

How things ended up well past midnight with you stumbling down Diagon Alley, a red headed man helping support your weight, and an unhealthy amount of alcohol in your system - you didn't know. All you knew is that you had learned so much about the man in the last several hours that you felt very comfortable with him.

"Okay, love, is this your flat?"

"Yeah, that's the one," you slurred, moving towards the stairs that led up the side.

"Woah, hold up there, pretty girl," he said, quickly aiding you so you didn't trip and break your face, "You shoulda told us you were a lightweight. We wouldn'ta ordered you so many."

You grumbled, but didn't say anything in response, instead fumbling around in your pockets for your keys.

"Fred, I can't find them," you whined.

He pulled out his wand, "Alohamora." The door clicked open. "I see you haven't put an anti-unlocking charm on your flat yet."

"I literally just moved in."

"I feel like it's a first priority."

You didn't reply, instead tumbling forward into your new small home. Again, Fred steadied your weight, chuckling to himself in the process.

"You need to get to bed."

After helping you get your shoes off, Fred walked you to your bedroom and watched in amusement as you collapsed on to the mattress.

"You all good from here, sweetheart?"

You hummed softly, "Thank you, Freddie."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, "If you're not too hungover, stop by the shop tomorrow. I can set you up with a job."

"Really?"

"Of course. I have a sneaky feeling you're gonna be in my life for a while."

You giggled, "Me too."

"Alright, I'll see you. Take care."

"You too-" you yawned, "-Freddie."

***

It was mid-afternoon by the time you made it to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, still nursing a hangover but feeling better after a long shower, a painkilling potion and a big glass of a fizzy non-alcoholic drink.

"Oh, good, you're here," Fred opened the door, seeing as the shop was in fact shut. They functioned on weekend days of Monday and Tuesday since Saturday and Sunday were prime business days. (Apart from in the lead up to school starting again, as George explained in detail to you the night prior how they couldn't miss out on any day of the week when Diagon Alley was swarmed with kids.)

"You seem perkier than me," you grumbled, entering the unusually quiet store.

"I didn't get nearly as drunk as you," he reminded, walking towards the back room, "Anyway, I assume you're here for the job?"

You nodded, "That... and to see you."

He gave you a soft smile at that, "You're always welcome."

"You literally met me yesterday."

"What? Were you too drunk to remember what I said last night?"

You suppressed a smile, "No."

"Then you know. Call it divine intuition if you will but you're gonna be around for a while."

"I certainly don't plan on leaving," you replied, following him into the office area.

"Well, let's set you up for a job here then."

"It's really nice of you to do this."

He winked at you, "I don't do favours for free."

"What do you want in return?" you narrowed your eyes at him.

"Another date."

You grinned, "I think I could agree to those terms."

***

Not even a week later, you and Fred were walking down Diagon Alley, ready to go out for lunch for your second date. An hour ago, the sun had been shining brightly in the sky, warming your exposed skin. Now, the shimmery blues had been veiled by a thick layer of dark grey clouds, casting a shadow over the bustling street. You heard Fred, a normally cheerfully optimistic man (as you had quickly learned), let out a sigh.

"Looks like the forecast has taken a turn," just as he finished his sentence, droplets began cascading down from above, growing in intensity by the second.

You couldn't help but giggle slightly.

"Doesn't this bother you?"

You laughed harder, "No. I like it."

Fred smiled at you, "Really? A rainy date?"

You shrugged, "Don't threaten me with a good time."

"Well, okay, then."

He held out his hand to you, and you took it, letting him twirl you around before you both continued walking in the direction of the café he had in mind.

"Your smile is so pretty," he commented after some moments of delicate silence.

You couldn't help but beam at his words, "Really?"

He hummed, "I could look at it for the rest of my life."

In your chest, your heart was performing somersaults like a circus acrobat, and it was making you feel giddy. This was the most alive you had ever felt and you never wanted to let it go.

"Do it then," you replied, "Nothing's stopping you."

He stopped in his tracks, forcing you to halt as well since your hand remained interlocked with his.

"What?" you asked, looking back at him from your position one step forward.

"Can I?" he spoke with a soft gaze, the usual mischievous glint absent.

"Can you what?"

"Look at your smile forever?"

You shrugged limply, "If you can make me smile forever, sure."

"Can I say something crazy?"

"I would expect nothing less from you."

"I kinda want to marry you."

"Kinda?" you raised an eyebrow, feeling the swarm of butterflies spinning in your stomach but remaining calm and collected on the outside.

"I know we only met a week ago, but what would you say if I asked?"

"Guess you'll have to learn the hard way," you gave him a cheeky grin.

"Okay," he said, and it was only then you realised that the rain had caused the street to clear out of most people. Your eyes widened as he got down on one knee, still holding your hand. Suddenly, you could no longer feel your wet hair clinging to your face, nor your damp clothes sticking to your skin. Not because they had dried, but because all your focus was elsewhere.

You were pretty sure you had forgotten how to breathe.

"Y/N, in the short time I've known you, which is admittedly very short, I have had so much fun," he began, "And as I said right at the beginning, I have a feeling that you're gonna be around a while, it's why I even came over to talk to you the first time you entered my shop- I felt drawn to you. And, well, I'm known for my impulsive decisions, but they've all worked out so far, so, I have no reason not to act on this one too," he took a deep breath, "I don't have a ring right now, but will you marry me?"

You stood, stunned. You hadn't thought he would actually propose to you.

"Don't feel pressured to say yes," he quickly added, making you snap out of your daze.

You shook your head, "Yes- I'll marry you, Freddie."

The man's face lit up as he zoomed to his feet and picked you up, spinning you around as your lips touched each other's for the first time. You couldn't believe it: Fred Weasley was now your fiancé, when he was never even your boyfriend.

"Now, what say we go get some food to celebrate?" he asked.

"Sounds good to me."

***

THREE YEARS LATER.

***

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the officiator called out, "You may kiss the bride."

You watched from the crowd as Ron pressed his lips to Hermione's, joining the rest of the audience with the applauding.

"This is a lot grander than our wedding," Fred leaned down to whisper in your ear.

You laughed gently, "Ours was a much more last minute affair, Freddie."

"Mm, how long was our engagement again?"

"Three weeks," you reminded, "The courting only lasted a week too."

"What can I say? I'm a man who knows what I want."

You shook your head with a smile, picking up the applause again as Hermione and Ron began posing for photos from the photographer.

"Oh, they're calling us up now," Fred said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up to the altar with him. All of the Weasley siblings and their partners were also en route to where the newly weds were.

As you took your position in the photograph with Fred's arm wrapped around you, he leaned down to whisper in your ear yet again.

"Can I just say, my love, you look absolutely gorgeous- as always."

Your bright smile was one of the most genuine in the photograph, as Hermione later commented, and in response to that Fred had immediately taken a copy for your own house.

"What?" he had said when you raised an eyebrow at him, "I told you, I want to stare at your smile forever."

You chuckled.

"And you said I can, provided I make you smile."

You hummed, recalling the conversation that led up to his impromptu proposal fondly.

"And correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm the one that made you smile in this photo."

Unable to argue with him, you gazed at the moving photograph of Fred turning his head away from your ear to smile at the camera. It hadn't quite captured the moment in which he complimented your looks, but it didn't need to, as you knew that you would never forget the context for the image.

Not when your smile really did shine so brightly in it.

—————————————————

masterlist

written; 19/04/2023 —> 31/05/2023 published; 31/05/2023 edited; —/—/——

taglist ; @workinatdapyramid @iluvweasleys​

[raelle-writing]

I’ve been seeing so many complaints about Jin not having enough backstory and that he’s too flat, and I’m curious to know your thoughts. I personally think he’s very developed and believe that a character should be able to stand by their current actions without needing flashbacks to explain them.

We know that he is a kind and gentle person who held (and still holds) idealistic notions, and that he effed up real bad with taking the video, and has been feeling guilty and haunted ever since. We know that he develops feelings deeply for people but always makes sure that they reciprocate. We know that he doesn’t like uncertainty when emotions are involved and wants clear communication and has a bit of a jealous streak. We know that when placed in physically dangerous situations, he will jump in immediately to defend and help people. We know that he loves photography and honestly a lot can be explained by his having an artistic soul.

I guess a recent example I’ve seen of a character that’s very developed with absolutely no flashback backstory is Tong’s character Hong from ManSuang. Obviously very different context and character but I loved how much we knew about his essence as a character and person without needing scenes about his childhood and how he grew up.

Anyway sorry for the length, and thank you for your wonderful DFF thoughts and analyses!

Thank you for sending this ask 💕 I've been thinking a lot about this too, honestly. I have some mixed, complex thoughts lol so let me try and explain them.

Firstly, I agree with you that we get a lot of Jin throughout his actions. I fully disagree with people who say that Jin is flat, or that he doesn't have impact on the narrative, or that he's a side character. Jin's always been a very central main piece of the plot. He's the everyman, reacting to the bullying the way most average people would. Acting selfishly and selflessly by turns. He's the catalyst that drove them into the woods. He's the only person who feels guilt and carries the weight of the past (among the bullies). He tries to be a good person, and fucks up bad by turns.

And as you said, we get tons of personality from Jin throughout his actions. He's naive and idealistic. He associates sex and feelings strongly. He falls hard and fast. He lives in a large house but clearly has no one checking on him when he comes home late or brings a boy over to stay the night. He shows signs of emotional neglect and unhealthy attachments. He has fits of anger which lead him to do bad things he feels awful about for years afterwards.

He calls himself a coward but when faced with a weapon he jumps in front of it to try and protect his friends.

There are a lot of shadows to his character that paint a full picture, to me. I don't find his character to be flat at all, in fact Jin is still one of my favorite characters because of all of this.

However, I do understand why people are disappointed. Because while we do see large pieces of Jin's character, when you compare him to characters like Non and Tee, where we see their home lives and motivations in detail, Jin definitely looks flat in comparison. I was also hoping that we'd get insight into Jin's home life and learn why he is the way he is, like we did with some of the others. And we didn't (and won't) get that. And that's definitely disappointing.

Especially since today, in a Space on Twitter, Sammon said she regrets not writing Jin in more detail and she views that as a failing. I think that's one reason people are being so negative about Jin's character right now.

BUT, I personally think people are entirely overblowing it all. Jin is a very interesting, complex, gray, sympathetic character in so many ways, even if we don't get that extra layer of depth. Especially given that one of the reasons we have less of Jin is because he does less terrible shit within the narrative as some of the others, I'm a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️ about it all.

Anyway! Thanks again for the ask, it was a good excuse for me to actually formulate my thoughts!

[gloomyjulliette]

💙Authors Note💙: Ah ha, so under the cut is my first post of the year; that ficlet you all saw little blurbs from last year. The pairings Crave(Chris x Sheva) and boy has it been a long time since I've written so be gentle with me.😅 I've really always wanted some post RE5! Chris and Sheva interaction and the scenario has been on my mind for awhile taking form as this little thought experiment. It takes place after RE6 but before RE8. Let me know if you're interested in a continuation eh?

*I've also provided the optional audio above via a text to voice app of the reading for those who have issues.

It was bleak outside, gray; the clouds that lingered overhead teased rain but they never quite let a drop fall. She could feel the cool breath of the evening, emanating from the pane of glass from her window as she absentmindedly gazed at the streets below. Sheva Alomar had been preparing all week psychically and mentally for her upcoming mission on the island of Madagascar, Operation Orchid.

This mission was something personal, for so long she had been searching for leads on the incident that took both her parents, Umbrella had a decades-long foothold in the motherland, and she would see to it that Umbrella, Tricell, or hell any other bio-terrorism cell would no longer continue to destroy lives.

Per her briefing, the lead involved was keeping things very close to his chest. On the one hand, it pissed her off; because of course it couldn't be that easy, but she was willing to extend a shred of empathy as he seemingly only had this information as his sole bargaining chip. This man shrouded in mystery would be accompanying her on her mission in exchange for a complete expungement of his record, seemed reasonable enough but she'd hoped this wouldn't entirely be a dolled-up escort mission.

The soft glow of the streetlights outside filtered through the curtains of her well-to-do flat, -bought and paid for by BSAA of course- casting shadows on the furniture. Sheva, clad modestly in a plain black camisole with a pair of basic denim jeans, paced back and forth in her bedroom surveying the tactical gear strewn about on her bed, double and triple-checking her equipment while her thoughts raced. The all too familiar adrenaline rush before a big outing was to be expected but even with the incessant resurveying, it couldn't push back the memories that were starting to bleed in— the feelings began to intrude— of missions shared with her ex-partner Chris Redfield.

She thought she'd compartmentalized that entire self-serving chapter of her life accordingly but those unresolved emotions she could feel gnawing their way back to the surface, reinforcing their presence via the butterflies in her gut.

He was in town. The twenty-three-year-old version of her the wide-eyed idealist and the young woman who was naive in matters of the heart would have girlishly thought; "He's here for me, to see me." But she was no longer that woman and she knew better than that, he was there for work, steadfast in his duty as a dedicated protector. Even after he'd been missing for months, worrying his sister-- hell worrying her to near death, even after a stint of short-term amnesia he conveniently told no one about, and losing Piers in China; she could feel him slipping away, walling himself off...occupying himself constantly with work.

She took her phone from out of her back pocket absent-mindedly scrolling through her messages until she saw his name:

Chris: Hey Sheva, in your neck of the woods next week for business. Mind if I swing by and catch up?

She remembered hesitating when she first saw the message, her thumb hovering over the keyboard. A flurry of emotions pushing back, dread, anxiety, relief, heartache...anger. A small part of her still hopelessly longing for the connection they once shared; the other part wanting to chew him out for ghosting and icing her out but then sending a message out of the blue after so much time had passed.

After a moment of contemplation, she had decided to respond.

"Sure, Chris. It's been a while. Swing by Friday evening? Round 6?...If that works for you."

Almost immediately, Chris's reply came through.

Chris: Understood. Six should be fine, looking forward to catching up.

He was never one to mince words, she honestly was shocked he had even sent a text in the first place, recalling a hazy pillow-talk session where he irritably groused about his distaste for it. But it was set and done and the pent-up tension came out on one haggard exhale as she arbitrarily slid the phone onto her coffee table.

Now here it was Friday evening, and she was standing there in her living room hating how it all made her feel. Was this all a mistake? Was she nervous? Angry?

She wouldn't have too much time to think about it as a knock on the door rattled her thoughts, jolting her back to the present. Sheva looked at her phone bewildered.

'5:45? Punctual this one. How could she forget?

Gathering herself, she approached the door; a soft exhale passing her lips as she hesitated slightly before opening it. Standing in the doorway was Chris Redfield, a rugged silhouette against the dimly lit corridor. His attire was rather morose not a hint of color, dark grays and blacks under a long coat. What was striking now was the silver cropping up slowly in his hair and beard, the faint beginning of all the wear-and-tear over the years, creeping up on his face. Still as handsome as ever though just with a bit more of a mature edge. Sheva couldn't help but set out for his eyes, they always betrayed him and she took a bit of pride in being able to find his tell, and when her eyes finally met his, for the briefest moment, the weight of unspoken words were laid bare.

"Hey," Chris said, his gaze breaking the line with hers, his voice low and gruff, a familiar warmth beneath the surface. "Mind if I come in?"

"Of course." Was all she could muster.

Sheva stepped aside, allowing Chris to enter. As he walked passed he still absolutely towered over her. The tension between them; already palpable, even after only a few brief moments a silent storm was brewing in the room. She closed the door, and as the latch clicked, the air grew even heavier.

"...I know it was on short notice, but thanks for having me," Chris said, his voice carrying a mix of formality and an underlying sincerity.

"Can I get your-" She motioned at the long trench-coat, trying her damnedest to keep up appearances.

Chris' eyebrows briefly rose quizzically and upon realizing what she was gesturing towards, he gently rejected the offer.

"-I won't be long."

Sheva winced just ever so slightly feeling her jaw clench, she led him into her living room directing him to the large sofa, while she took a smaller chair askew from him, and as they settled in, another bout of uneasy silence...

"So you wanted to catch up, let's catch up." her tone was cold, but her eyes burned and bore through him.

That didn't go unnoticed by Chris, a flash sideways glance in her direction turned immiedtly into a more defensive position, looking down and away.

"How are you? How have you been?"

"Busy...you know how it is."

"Yeah I do, in this line of work doesn't really afford much time for anything else..."

Sheva snatched her gaze away from him not responding.

Chris, ever perceptive, picked up on the palpable unease but decided to press on.

"I heard you transferred to a different branch," he remarked cautiously, choosing his words with care.

"Yeah, here in London." Sheva replied curtly. "Needed a change of scenery."

Chris nodded, his eyes studying her face for any hints of what lay beneath the cold exterior. "And how's that treating you?"

Sheva took a moment before responding, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Different challenges. More paperwork, less action."

Chris chuckled, a hint of nostalgia in his voice. "You always did prefer being out in the field."

A bitter smile played on Sheva's lips but silent she remained.

"...Heard you were soloing the operation in Madacascar."

Shevas brows furrowed a bit.

"And how'd you hear about that?"

Chris leaned back, his gaze steady. "Word gets around. You know how it is."

Sheva's expression remained guarded. Of course he'd know he was a founding senior member, but had he'd be asking around specifically? "I guess so."

Chris, sensing the need to tread carefully, continued, "Look, Sheva, I didn't come here to pry. I just... wanted to see how you're holding up, solo missions can be difficult y'know"

Sheva nodded, appreciating the sentiment but wary of the unspoken history that lingered between them. Chris searched her face again, his eyes running down her form, searching for cues she wouldn't vocalize.

"You have a partner on this mission?" he almost seemed just to blurt that out and almost immediately regretted how that might sound to her; yet he still glanced at her with a raised eyebrow.

Sheva's eyes narrowed at Chris' question, a flicker of irritation and suspicion crossing her face. She hesitated for a moment, debating how much to reveal, but then decided to keep it brief.

"It's classified." she replied tersely. "But, Chris please this isn't my first mission without you- without a partner". She hastily corrected. "I can handle this alone."

Chris nodded, understanding her need for discretion, a flicker of concern in his gaze nonetheless. "I know you can, Sheva. It's just... always safer with someone watching your back."

Sheva could feel her hands start to clench slightly. His concern was sincere; that she never doubted, but why now after all this time did he choose to sit before her?

"Is this your way of keeping tabs Chris? Making sure your conscious is clear hmm?"

He shook his head, his expression seemingly hurt and taken aback.

"Figured you'd know me better than that."

"Maybe a long time ago I would have; We were partners....a team. But things have changed...you've changed. "

Chris felt his shoulders tense up, his jaw clench, her response struck a nerve. "Sheva." He'd turned cold and stern. "We've been through this. We can't afford distractions in this line of work."

"Distractions!?" Her voice raised. She straightened her posture, turning to face him; eyes welling threatening to betray her actual feelings. She leaned in as if to extend her heartache towards him.

"No. Don't you dare..." You don't get to do this Chris! "You're the one who left." "You're the one who completely shut me out!"

"I had too!" He snapped, his face falling solemnly as he finally met her gaze.

"You are in danger when you're with me." " And I've lost entirely too many people I care about-" He stopped short; Sheva was watching him intently waiting with baited breath for what she assumed would be a poor excuse.

He was afraid that this would happen; but it was foolish of him to think this wouldn't boil over eventually; this was a conversation long overdue and he knew that at the very least he owed her an explanation...

"So do I just not get a say in any of this?" Sheva replied; a little despondent, the tears from earlier finally falling as she quickly went to remove them with the back of her hand.

"I fell in love with you..." He began, the words hanging in the air like a confession he never thought he'd utter; the softness in his voice amplifying the pain beneath the surface.

"Chris-" Sheva's voice was a soft plea, her eyes searching his, for the truth behind his revelation.

"And frankly, that scared the shit out of me," he continued, his tone laced with regret. "I couldn't afford that distraction. It compromised my judgment, my focus. I found myself questioning decisions, hesitating when split-second choices could mean life or death."

Chris looked up, meeting Sheva's gaze again, and in that moment, he felt like he couldn't remain seated any longer. He rose from the sofa, a mixture of sorrow and determination etched on his face. Closing the distance between them, he approached Sheva, kneeling before her; his hand gently cupping her cheek. His thumb tracing the path of a tear, wiping it away.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to walk away from you Sheva; to walk away from us... but I had to."

Sheva's expression softened, the ice around her heart starting to crack as she absorbed the weight of Chris' internal struggle. The room felt smaller, the air heavy with the shared pain of a love that had been sacrificed.

"I could not... bear the thought of something happening to you because of me..." Chris continued, his voice now carrying the burden of regret. "Please. I just need you to understand that..."

His plea lingered, echoing in the quiet room, there was no more daylight outside, only the cold darkness of early nightfall and the street lights flickering from below.

Hestantily Chris removed his hand from her face, standing up he began walking past her just short of the front door; but not before stopping to look over his shoulder.

"While you're out there. One call, Sheva. Just say the word and I'll have a team there to back you up," he assured her, his tone conveying a mixture of sincerity and concern.

Sheva, still battling her emotions, felt a surge of frustration. Without thinking, she rushed forward out of her chair and grabbed the sleeve of Chris's jacket.

"Damn it, Chris," she muttered, her voice a mix of frustration and vulnerability. "You can't just waltz in here, talk about falling in love with me, and then just leave it at that."

Chris turned to face her fully, his expression softening. Sheva's anger faltered as she gazed into his eyes, and a silent understanding passed between them. In a moment of impulsive vulnerability, Sheva closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around him in a comforting embrace.

Chris, caught off guard but not resisting, hesitated before bringing his arms up and around her to embrace her in return, one of his hands thoughtlessly caressing the line towards the small of her back a gesture that hearkened back to a more intimate time in their relationship.

"Look beyond yourself and your own fears for once, okay?" she whispered, her words muffled against his shoulder.

Chris stood there holding her, his resolve wavering more than he'd care to admit. The proximity reignited a familiar warmth within, and as Sheva looked up at him, her soft brown low lidded eyes and the curve of her lips drew him further in. He found himself captivated by the woman before him, a cascade of conflicting emotions welling up inside.

Against his better judgment, and against the voice commanding him to put duty over his desires; Those eyes; her eyes had him where he could no longer resist, he would gladly let her consume him. Chris tilted his head just slightly removing what little distance remained between them. Their lips brushing softly ;almost timidly at first, but then quickly increasing to a heated intensity that spoke to the true volume of unspoken desires they had tried so hard to bury.

Sheva sighed into it with longing and frustration, her hands wandering a bit aimlessly, almost like if she couldn't grab a hold of something she'd cruelly be woken up or he would turn to dust at that very moment. While Chris brought a more grounded energy to his ministrations, his hand moving to cradle the back of her neck, deepening their kiss. Her head was swimming, he expertly worked her body like he'd never left; the room seemingly spinning around them and the weight of the past; the tension between them fueling the passion of the moment.

Sheva pulled away tentatively; breathless.

"You're so selfish..." She purred, panting between her aches of desire.

Her words left his expression beckoning, he so rarely let slip the iron mask and only a precious few saw underneath it. Maybe right now, here with her in this moment he wanted to be selfish, let someone else be the superhero...

Sheva leaned into him, on her tip toes to reach; she brought slender fingers to trace the faint lines on his face, before trailing and then resting her hand on his chest. With eyelashes fluttered shut, she tilted her head back just slightly. He knew her body language intimately enough to understand the gesture; his lips seeking hers once more but with a carnal urgency that wasn't present earlier. Both their hands began to wander, tracing the contours of each other's bodies, fingers entwined in a dance that spoke of familiarity and longing. The physical connection reignited a fire that had smoldered beneath the surface, and for a brief moment, the world outside ceased to exist.

One of Chris' hands stopped on her hip to draw her closer, the other resting on her back while Sheva grasped at the collar of his coat eager to feel anything other than the material of his clothing.

But then, a sudden realization jolted through them. The intensity of the kiss, the wandering hands, and their intimate past collided with the stark reality of their present situation. He couldn't push it to the side long enough; just this once, he wanted to be careless and vulnerable, even if it was for the one night, even if it meant just for however brief he could indulge in pure unbridled happiness. He wanted her and she wanted him, but they both knew. He knew; it couldn't stay this way, not without him hurting her again and with that Chris pulled away, his breath uneven, his eyes locked with Sheva's.

"We-...We can't," he whispered breath still shaky, lust tinged with a mix of regret and urgency in his voice.

Sheva, her chest rising and falling, her grip loosening on his collar nodded in silent acknowledgment. The room was charged with unspoken words, and as they stood there, their faces mere inches apart, the weight of the impossibility of their connection hung heavy in the air.

Chris took a reluctant step back, breaking the intimate spell. Sheva's hand falling into his as if to weakly pull him back into her embrace. The silence lingered, and in that moment of clarity, they both understood why they couldn't continue further. The unresolved tension remained, a bittersweet reminder of the passion they had briefly allowed themselves to indulge in.

"I should go. Before, I do something I can't take back." Chris said, his voice barely above a whisper, his thumb grazing the soft delicate skin on the back of her petite hand.

Sheva nodded, her own emotions in turmoil. "Yeah, you should." She'd said that confidently but her hand still reluctantly pulled away from his.

As Chris turned to leave, the weight of sadness and regret began to fill the room. The line between duty and desire blurred for a moment, leaving them both grappling with the ghosts of what once was and what could never be.

"...Stay safe Sheva."

"...You too. Chris."

Chris nodded, closing the door softly behind him, and with that he was gone again. Sheva standing there alone with nothing left but the mission that awaited her, she would now have to focus on seeing that through till the end and leaving the past where it remain...

[raayllum]

Why S4 is Good, Actually: Part 1, The Rayla Edition

Re: basically just writing out my own thoughts but also responses to criticisms of Rayla’s characterization and (later) the Rayllum subplot this season. Not meant to change anyone’s mind, but to get my own thoughts out of my head so they can stop rattling around my brain. Also because this is the main part of the season I’ve seen people critique that I also care about discussing, mostly because all of it was some of my favourites and stuff I’ve come to enjoy and appreciate more and more about the season itself. As this is a meta post this is largely a one sided stance, I’m not particularly interested in debating, and I just wanted to write about how I appreciated the season’s overall consistency, what they did overtly, and what they left to implication to be expanded upon later. Okay? Okay.

To start with, we’re gonna talk about

Rayla in S4

Basically: they did a lot of interesting things with Rayla in S4 both overtly and heavily through implication that, when gathered together, paint a very clear and interesting picture of the ways she’s both stayed the same and has radically changed as a person, as well as why I think we’ll get to see a lot more of her psyche and what she (and possibly Claudia) went through during the timeskip. 

So first, let’s start with the similarities:

1) Independent

Rayla is still fiercely independent in S4 just as she was in the previous seasons, if not in some ways more so, and to her detriment and her strength. 

She also typically believes people can handle themselves with very little fuss, mostly because she generally can. 

2) Cynical with a sense of humour

Rayla has always been a more cynical leaning person. Although arguably too idealistic and compassionate for her people, she is still typically the pessimist / wet blanket in the group (unless Callum is being grumpy over her safety and human impressions) and this carries over into S4. 

She also still loves annoying Callum on purpose (“Ugh, I was teasing, Callum”) and maintains her typical more morbid sense of humour bordering on blase.

3) Protective and Compassionate

Rayla remains both protective and compassionate over the people she loves, rushing to Callum’s side when Claudia shows up, placing herself in front of the boys when danger arises, embracing and helping Zym mourn, and even being the one to check of whether Ibis was dead and keeping Ezran from having to do so. 

4) Body language

Rayla still has her quirk of placing a hand over her left (previously bound) wrist when she’s uncertain and nervous. She does so in each of her reunion with the boys, and notably stands with both hands clasped when she first sees Callum again and is waiting to see how he’ll respond, and when she is at Ibis’ funeral. 

5) Blame 

The only phrase that Rayla consistently says is “This is my fault” or “all my fault” and sure enough, S4 delivers on that too when she realizes Soren has gone missing and that he may be in danger, as well as her repeated fear of continually “messing things up.” 

6) Uncertainty

Rayla is a character often plagued by uncertainty, both concerning the choices she makes and where she belongs, and how those two things are deeply interrelated. This is particularly true in her imposed exile from the Moonshadow elves and being set apart from her troupe, her initial fear of the boys hating her in s1 and s2 upon learning about Harrow, her homecomings to the Silvergrove and to Katolis yielding very different responses. Callum basically completely iced her out even when she was braced for anything, and so it’s understandable she’s uncertain about how Ezran may respond, too (but more on the reunion scenes later).

Differences:

1) Purpose

Arguably the biggest difference between Rayla in seasons one to three and season four is her general lack of purpose in season four. This is not to say she doesn’t serve a purpose plot or emotions wise in season four for herself or other characters, but that she herself doesn’t have a mission anymore, and that’s behaviour we haven’t really seen from her (outside of TTM and even then, so much of it was dominated by behaviour and feeling like her mission maybe wasn’t actually over). 

As far as we know (and again, I do think for a variety of reasons we will learn more in the future about what she and Claudia got up to during the timeskip), she comes back to Katolis to repair things with Callum, but seeing as he won’t talk to her, that’s basically a non-starter. And we see how rattled she is, given that in S1-S3 she always knew what she felt she should be doing - taking Zym back to Xadia, then freeing Pyrrah, then staying behind at the Spire due to loyalty to the Dragon Queen / royal family and her parents’ failures. But now just faced with her own failure without something to chase after, she’s not sure how to go about it.

She’s not even sure if they want her around. Furthermore, she’s been rattled enough by her time away / the response her return to not be sure about doing whatever she can to protect the world anymore, because she doesn’t want to impose, and because she’s been Ghosted once before.

The one moment she shows zero hesitation is when she sees Viren, and her old mission - her failed one - has been placed right back in her hands, along with a new one of hopefully saving her family. S5 is going to give her more than one purpose to chase, and I’m curious to see where it will go. 

Although I started this section prior to the release of this interview, I also found this quote from the creators about Rayla in s4 and leading into S5 to corroborate this reading as well:

To me, one of the things about [the coin scene] actually has to do with [the fact that] Rayla has had to come back after two years of obsession and being mission-focused on finding Viren. Part of her growth is that she wants to be more normal and see if she can rebuild trust with Callum. Now, Claudia has basically handed her the next thing to be obsessed about. 

2) Revenge vs Justice

So, like everyone else, I also drew comparisons back in the day when Through The Moon came out, and we had Rayla setting out on yet another mission to king of Katolis, a seeming reset of her inherently circular narrative that, like her first mission, would ultimately end up being fruitless, as Viren had to live to be villainous (or an obstacle) for another day). While the context was wildly different (Viren had done personal harm to her and her loved ones, whereas she knew very little about Harrow and even less about Ezran), even her letter reaffirmed the strong, mirrored similarities in her mindset from her first mission, plagued by grief and self doubt, and her second.  

R (in 1x02): I have to do this. I’m sorry. I don’t want to, but I have to.  R (in “Dear Callum”): You’ll wake up and try to stop me… from doing what I know I have to do. Leaving. But I can’t let you stop me, Callum. No matter how much I want to.

We know given Rayla’s “I can fix it” mindset and the deep shame she felt over her parents abandoning their mission and running away that she likely begged, or argued, for her right to go on the assassination mission to Katolis in the first place. We know that Rayla thought she was doing the right thing in going along on the assassination mission, that it was inevitable justice that could not be denied, a way to make up for her parents’ mistakes and to protect her people. 

It’s not out of line for Rayla, once again lost, grieving, feeling powerless and fearful and so utterly ashamed, to throw herself into a quest to kill a human king. Yes, TTM was about Rayla wanting closure about her parents, but more so in some ways it was about her needing reassurance that Viren was dead. But after two years of nothing, she had to be feeling the weight of it. What if she can’t find something because there’s nothing to find? 

I also think it’s important to consider both halves of her statement here as well.

R: We had something so special. But I became so obsessed with revenge that I risked losing the best thing I ever had. You. 

The same way Rayla was able to let go of her anger in 2x07 at Callum doing dark magic, she’s able to let go (or at least try to) regarding some of her grief and obsession: “I can’t lose you like this. You mean too much to me.” Again, I’ll believe we’ll eventually see what made her come back, given it’s implied to be a very recent choice (roughly a week ago from 4x02) and she was furious at Viren as well (in addition to refuse risking losing Callum, as well: “I can’t risk you coming with me”). 

So again, while ‘revenge’ wasn’t her primary factor in leaving in TTM, I can see how it would evolve into that after two years of relative loneliness and having little else but her thoughts to consider. It wasn’t like her decision to leave and go after Viren was ever well thought out, either. If revenge is something you take out of paranoia and grief, and justice is something you do for others, then yeah, I can see how that would fit Rayla’s definitions of each and move back and forth. 

However, the way I think Rayla has actually changed the most during timeskip, is how much more

3) Jaded

she is in S4. This is the difference that stuck out the most to me throughout the season, largely given her scenes in 4x05 with Soren and even in the finale, yet it also provided an interesting and vivid contrast in her relationship with Callum. Whereas before in seasons one through three Rayla was typically a bit more cynical about their mission (“Great, I’m wet and miserable and we’ve saved no time at all” / “Really, that’s all we have to go on? Some mountain where the magical healer appeared three years ago?”) she still had a strong idealistic streak. She still believed that they, and herself, could make a real difference in the world. It was her relationship with Callum where she was a bit more skeptical, best shown when she clams up after their inopportune first kiss and subsequent misunderstanding: “We walk away, and this never happened.” 

Now, that’s largely reversed in S4. She’s hopeful if unsure about coming back. She believes she can make a difference and they can talk things out, if she’s just patient (although more on that later) and gives him time, space, and understanding. 

And despite witnessing the horror of his possession and hearing him talk about how it felt and how deep his fears run, she outright rejects his fatalistic conclusion. Perhaps because she’s seen him do the impossible before (connecting to a primal), because she’s seen his stubbornness and growth, and because she flat out refuses to consider the alternative that he’s right. How can she lose him and how can she possibly kill him?

However, this patient optimistic attitude, her steady belief in Callum’s survival, and arguably her core defining trait in previous seasons (“Rayla, you saved Bait!” “Rayla’s brave. She saves people” “That’s what makes her a hero. That’s what makes her Rayla’) is starkly at odds with her response to Soren in 4x05.

Being called a Dragonguard, a title that once made her nearly cry tears of joy for the way it honoured her parents, earns an eye roll here. A defenseless (not innocent) dragon surrounded by human guards was once enough to make Rayla leave her mission of taking Zym back to Xadia in order to free it. Now, in a scenario where she and Soren would have the numbers advantage, Rayla chooses to walk away without looking back and encourages Soren to do the same. Rayla cites that “There’s too much at stake,” but her priorities were vastly different before. Is it just doubt in her abilities after two years of failing to find Viren or Claudia and finding out they’d been causing trouble anyhow, trouble she could’ve prevented if she’d just been better?

Or did something else, more sinister, happen to her during the timeskip, an even greater failure that made her abandon her mission and choose to come home to Callum after all this time?

Either way, this was one of the most interesting scenes in the season to me, and I can’t wait to see it being expanded upon. But now onto some of the other changes, namely: 

4) Patience

Rayla in S1-S3 is both a patient and impatient person. She’s caring and compassionate, as previously stated, but can also be impatient, perpetually pushing the boys to move forward faster, not wanting to waste time, etc. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t have room for some silliness or taking a scenic route, but even in her responses, she can be huffy and snarky. 

However, in s4, Rayla never tries to hurry the group along. Partially because unlike before, she’s not the most experienced in the group (Zubeia is there for sections) nor does she have to keep the boys on task the same way as before. Their maturity, mixed with her uncertainty, keeps her overall more regulated. 

This development is also in line with her gradual development from the first three seasons. Season three Rayla is far more patient, softer with the boys, and willing to indulge them than season one Rayla (even if she’s never quite the hard-ass she wants to be, most of the time) and part of this is due to her growing open-ness. 1x06 sees Rayla at her most impatient because she’s purposefully hiding something. In season four, given the way she left things, her impatience wouldn’t have much of a leg to stand on. 

That said, we still see glimpses of Rayla being impatient and affronted, particularly with Rex Igneous

but it is fun to see the way she’s matured, in a small manner, anyway. 

5) Failure

This one is kind of a middle ground, as it’s hardly a resolved element of her character, even if we do see Rayla begin to make real development in season four as well. Failure has always haunted Rayla since her very first scene and a concept she’s wrestled with throughout every season. In s1-s3, we see her struggle between “failure = worthlessness” with her mission and her people, versus her failing and attempting to maintain her relationship with the boys as well. (More on each of these topics later.) 

We do see this come back around in S4, though, specifically in Rayla’s admissions that

So while her view of failure isn’t exceedingly different, her determination to fix it and keep going at all costs has changed and faltered, a bit. 

This is compounded a few times in the season four finale in brutally quick succession. Rayla discovers that Viren was alive and she let him live this long thanks to her failure to find him; she fails to catch the coins her family is imprisoned in; and is tricked by Claudia, failing to negotiate for the map or to stop the dark mage from progressing in her evil quest. It’s no wonder that Rayla has a fucking breakdown. 

However, the biggest difference in how she views failure is that now, when she fails, she will at least purposefully show up to face the music and/or want to come back home anyway, and that’s huge, after the Silvergrove. 

With Callum no longer having to run after her to drag her back (or bail her out, come hell or high water) — at least for now. 

Previous Season Context

Last but not least, as previously alluded to, we have context from Rayla’s behaviour in previous seasons to provide additionally inference given her behaviour, changes, and choices. She takes Callum’s anger largely the same way she took his and Ezran’s in response to Harrow, since we know from her body language, dialogue, etc. that she knows she messed up in leaving the way she did. (More thoughts later on what, exactly Rayla thinks she’s at fault for, though.)

There are some differences, though. Unlike in 2x03 where Rayla let Callum walk away from her and then waited for him to approach her again, Rayla does advocate to stay, giving him room to express his hurt as much as she can, even if he’s unwilling to take her up on it. 

The other big point of contention I want to address is the apology, or lack thereof. Not only are Moonshadow elves from a society where you rarely apologize in words, and instead make amends through actions (re: Ethari offering Rayla his hand > an apology as just one example) but as the show goes on, we see Callum and Rayla explicitly apologize less to each other. For example, they both say some rather nasty things (“Oh, you have a nicer word for it? Honour, redemption? It’s just pride!” “Then you don’t know me at all! You never did”) and neither apologizes. They simply calmly and gently talk things out when he shows up to deliver new information, and resolve the issue together. 

Then, we have Rayla’s actual apology she delivers to Ezran (who notably didn’t get a goodbye by any measure when she left, per TTM):

R: Hello Ezran. I didn’t know if you’d want to see me again after the way I left. I’m so sorry that I—

This mirrors some of what she said to Callum (“Callum, I know my leaving hurt you”) yet also shows an interesting peek into her possible frame of mind. Rayla doesn’t apologize for leaving, just how she left. She regrets that it caused pain, she holds herself privately accountable (i.e. “I became so obsessed” when Callum is asleep) but doesn’t voice any of it aloud (again, more on that later). This is also still in line with why she left, partially out of grief, fear, anger, and compounded by the patterns passed down by her parents, specifically Lain and Tiadrin. 

I also wasn’t put off by her “He’s just joking” line to Stella regarding Callum, since it’s 1) a decent attempt at some typical downplaying Rayla humour and 2) is being used to placate her protective cuddlemonkey. I also think there’s a few other layers going on under the surface.

C: Oh, so you disappeared for two years for no reason at all?! S: [screeches] R: Shh, it’s okay! Callum’s nice. He’s just joking.

The first is Rayla calling Callum nice even when he’s actively yelling at her and saying just about what could possibly cut her the deepest, yet also something she’s had to come to terms with in order to come back. However, on the prior point of apology, Rayla didn’t leave for nothing: she left to protect him.

I’ve got one more gift for you, Callum. It’s not cake or kisses, but it’s something more important than that. I’M GOING TO KEEP YOU SAFE. I have to. I love you too much not to.

She just has nothing to show for it except mutual heartbreak. Furthermore, we see Rayla take this straightforward, yet blasé stance before. 

To me, the most important thing in the Reunion Scene isn’t that Rayla is overtly casual; she’s a mess and barely hiding it, clutching her wrist, constantly looking at and distracting herself with Stella as a coping mechanism, trailing after Callum with each perpetual wall, and fighting just to be able to stay and sit silently on a couch next to her boyfriend all night after he tries to leave the room and completely ices her out. (And Callum has a right to be angry, but say it with me: more on that later.)

She didn’t expect Callum to take her back and welcome her home like nothing ever happened. She hoped for it, maybe; braced for his temper and an argument. She had all day and all week to emotionally prepare for seeing him again, while he was caught completely unawares. What catches her the most off guard is that, in every situation she likely imagined, Callum not wanting to talk to her at all was not one of them, and given that he was a kid who liked to talk about everything, she’s not off base to feel that surprise, either.

She doesn’t see his eyeroll and his anger before he turns around; those happen with his back to her. The furthest they get is:

C: Rayla, what are you doing here? R: I came back. C: Yeah. I can see that. R: You look nice, Callum. (Cue post-sleep crusties almost confession levels of diaster) C: Right. Well, thanks. R: You too, Bait. All day, all week really, I’ve been feeling so nervous and kind of edge-frazzled, you know? But now, finally seeing you, I feel... still nervous.

He says short, clipped sentences to her that are mostly confused, heartbroken, and then awkwardly unsure of how to respond and process what’s happening. Nothing up to that point indicated any anger. 

She’s not wrong to be thrown by an icier form of his temper, and she’s not wrong to stand her ground in the storm, either.

Verdict / Conclusion

Originally this meta was also going to include a further breakdown of Callum and Rayla’s characterization and arcs in S4 explicitly related to each other, but 1) I’m tired and 2) this is long enough, so the more Rayllum-y companion meta piece will be posted under “Why S4 is Good, Actually: Part 2, The Rayllum Edition” sometime later this week. 

As for some closing notes, I’ll say this: 

It is perfectly on brand for us to not get more insight on Rayla’s emotional state in S4 because she refuses to share it (just as she often refuses to share negative emotions or experiences) and particularly because she’s attempting to reconcile, and I’ll touch more on this emotional de-valuation and de-prioritization of herself in the accompanying meta because it’s one of the things that stands out the most to me in S4, tbh. 

And precisely because she hasn’t fundamentally changed at all in the ways she needs to, that leaves Rayllum in both a simultaneously very dynamic yet very stagnant state that I think is heartbreaking, interesting, and a surefire work in progress in ways that can push them both to grow in the ways that they need to. 

In many ways they’ve concurrently switched roles and are also more like each other in general, good and bad, than ever before, and I’m really excited to talk about it.

One of the most important things about Rayla has always been what she doesn’t say and even then, to not take her “I’m (obviously not) fine” ass at face value. Season four isn’t any different, I still think it reveals and nudges her character to where it needs to be at this point (also reframed with slower pacing in general in mind) and I’d be far more concerned if the season hadn’t ended with her running after Viren than I am with how it ended(?) at all. I’m excited to see where she (and everyone else in her immediate emotional arc periphery, such as Callum and Viren) go from here and how season four may be further re-contextualized. 

If you made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading, and perhaps, that this put you a little more at ease regarding our favourite Moonshadow elf assassin girl and her big broken, compassionate heart. 

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Batman!Steve begins

Oh god, guys. I love Steve being Spider-Man (never enough of him, the fanarts, fanfictions, everything, please give me more), but have you forgotten about one very beautiful superhero possibility? Maybe someone already thought of this and I'm sorry if that's the case, but this fandom is a space rocket and I'm a measly slug sticking to its side.

Steve Harrington is Batman.

Big mansion? Check. A damaged rich boy? Check. A gaggle of crime-fighting children? Check. Let me tell you a story that was supposed to be a bunch of points but then my brain said no...

The Harringtons were an established family in Gotham and came from the old money. Steve was born as an only child, into a huge empty house. His parents loved him, considered him their pride an joy, but they were never around. Their love was less of the warm and cozy family time and more of an idealistic "let's make a difference in this city so our son has a better life" type. Their company invented and manufactured marvels of technology, surveillance and personal safety, in hopes that one day they could turn Gotham into a safe place. Steve knew they were good, admirable people, but it never made the loneliness easier.

He was young when they were killed, a robbery gone wrong, right in front of his eyes. He felt it was his fault, he still does - it was his birthday and he begged them to spend it with him for once, to take him to a movie theatre. He didn't really care where they'd go, he just wanted them to be present for him. To give him the most valuable gift of all - their time. And the first time he was given it, everything was over. The culprit ran away and left him standing there, in a pool of his parents' blood.

He couldn't make any sense of it, couldn't connect it in his head - how could such pure, wonderful, selfless people die, how those ideals, the limitless energy shrunk to two coffins, cold and impersonal. He thinks of the flowers his mother loved, the ones she grew in the botanical gardens in Gotham, in their garden too. She would have hated seeing them cut, laid on her grave, but nobody asked him. It wasn't a fair exchange - someone like him for his parents who spent their whole lives making a difference.

Steve just went through the motions for years. All the money in the world couldn't stave off the creeping loneliness and guilt. And just as he was about to snap, fall into the early teenage trap of drugs and alcohol, he was sent a guardian angel. Well, two of them.

Claudia Henderson used to cook for his parents and she never left her position, no matter how often Steve refused to eat, ignored her. She never pushed too hard, leaving the tray with food in his room without forcing him to eat, patiently waiting for him to come downstairs. "I'll be in the kitchen if you want to talk. Or if you want something else to eat, dear," she would always say and smile at him. His chest hurt at the maternal tone and it took weeks before he joined her. He'd stop on the top of the staircase, staring down and thinking how he didn't deserve that, didn't deserve her kindness. But every day he took another step and when he finally opened the door, half-convinced she'd be gone, that he took too long, he was met with her wide smiling face. "Hi there, Steve," she smiled and dusted off her apron. "Would you like some cocoa? It's getting chilly, the heating in this house is atrocious, I'll tell you."

The second guardian angel was Wayne Munson. The ever grumpy maintenance man seemed rough around the edges, almost crass, but he was just as kind as Claudia was. When he noticed Steve was holed up in his room all the time, he unceremoniously barged in and announced that Steve was becoming a man and rich or not, he'll have to know how to do stuff around the house. The first thing they ever did together was fix a leak in the attic and Steve watched as Wayne worked, fascinated. He handed him the tools he asked for, moved where Wayne directed him and when they were done, Wayne put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed, a comforting gesture he'd never known from his father. "Look at that, son," Wayne said and it took Steve a second to recognize he was smiling, a foreign expression on the man's face. "We did it. Not bad. Many people think when something's broken, you just toss it. Me, I like to think you just need to figure out how to fix it."

Steve's head slowly cleared with the help of his guardian angels. He mentioned to Claudia once that his mother loved flowers and that she would have hated how overgrown the garden became. The next day, she knocked on his door and when he opened it, he saw her standing there, smiling, gardening tools in her hands. She tossed him a pair of working gloves. "You should wear something old, dear," she told him, "we're going to get dirty."

Wayne sometimes took Steve to his other job, he worked part-time in a garage and fixed cars. Steve loved observing him, marveled at that skillful pair of hands. No matter how hopeless the car looked, Wayne always rolled up his sleeves, patted the hood of the car and turned to Steve. "Let's take a look how to get this girl running again, shall we?" Nothing seemed impossible when Wayne set his mind on it.

It was also Wayne who noticed Steve struggling to get his emotions out and suggested to force them if they feel like sitting inside his body - he found a few martial arts clubs in the city and wasn't even surprised to learn that Steve joined them all. And Steve wasn't just good - he excelled at all of them. There was so much rage and sorrow in him, but also discipline, fear of hurting someone after he'd cost this world his parents. The knuckles on his hands were often sore and bloodied from rigorous training, but the quiet in his head was so worth it.

But the greatest gifts his angels had given him weren't the flowers, the cocoa or the way to ease his restlessness. There were two more miracles that found their way into Steve's life, one from Claudia, one from Wayne.

Claudia often spoke about her son, Dustin. She loved him dearly and always worried when she had to be away from him for a longer time, she never told Steve any details, but apparently her husband wasn't the best father around. Steve learned so much about Dustin even though he never met him - he was apparently very smart, had a crazy number of hobbies and always tinkered with something or other. He loved radios and Claudia was certain he'd end up inventing something revolutionary. And when Steve met the kid, he immediately understood, he was full of promise and brightness that Steve never had. He was a few years younger than him, but he was smart and for some reason Steve couldn't identify, he found Steve worthy of his friendship. Steve gained a younger brother he never had.

The second miracle came into his life when he was fifteen. Wayne seemed troubled one day in the garage and, after Steve commented on how uncharacteristically clumsy Wayne was that day, the older man shared that his stupid brother got himself arrested for armed robbery (Steve's heart skips a beat when he hears that, fortunately the younger Munson didn't hurt anyone but what if...) and his nephew was coming to live with him now, but he lived in an one bedroom apartment, not enough space even for himself, not to mention for a teenage boy. He might need to take a day or two off, to figure out if and where to move. Without thinking, Steve offered the Harrington mansion. "It's not like most of the rooms are getting any use," he shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant about it, "and the trust is paying for the bills anyway. It will be no bother and you'll at least be able to save some more."

And just like that, Eddie moved in. He was sixteen, lean and dangerous looking, with unruly dark hair and even darker eyes. The beginnings of their relationship were rocky at best - Eddie saw Steve as a spoiled rich boy and Steve frowned at Eddie's petty crimes, wondering if it ran in his blood. It's not like they even tried to become friends, Eddie blared metal so loud the banister kept shaking along with the stairs and Wayne gradually ran out of apologies, but Steve didn't really care. Anything was better than the quiet or the pity.

They attended the same school, only a year apart, and Eddie ostentatiously avoided him in the halls. He started playing in a band with a few other students and made it his life's mission to piss off as many people as possible. Except it didn't pay off one time when he annoyed a group of jocks into waiting for him behind the gym. Steve saw their backs, saw a narrow passage, an unsuspecting man (no woman this time, no frightened child behind them) and his body moved on its own. Eddie's eyes were wide when Steve stepped in front of him and blocked a punch aimed at his cheek.

In the end, Steve had a split lip and a black eye, but Eddie was safe. When the jocks finally realized it wasn't worth it, that Steve was way more dangerous than he seemed, they dispersed and Steve slid down the wall, the fading adrenaline leaving his legs feeling like jelly. Through his labored breathing, he didn't hear Eddie walking towards him before he leaned into his personal space, touching his cheek to assess the damage. "Are you crazy, Harrington?" he asked in a hoarse voice. "The fuck made you do that?"

Steve shook his head, tried to get up and failed. "I didn't...you don't deserve this. Nobody does."

Eddie stared at him as if Steve grew a second head. "I don't? Even if I'm an asshole to you?" he asked, his tone teasing in spite of the serious look in his eyes.

Steve snorted and immediately regretted the decision, his chest hurt from a punch he failed to predict. Hard to keep track of them when it's five against one. He'd have to do better. "Even if you're an asshole," he smiled at Eddie and with the smile he received back, an invisible barrier shattered between them.

Eddie helped him up, slung Steve's arm over his shoulders and, as he was washing blood off Steve's face in the high school bathroom, joked that scars would make him look way more badass. "But don't worry, Stevie," he said, the name slipping through his lips with surprising ease, "a badass pretty boy is still a pretty boy in my book. It won't ruin your image."

They became inseparable from that point onwards. Eddie still blared metal all over the Harrington mansion, but this time Steve was with him in his room, yelling along the lyrics, arguing about their music taste. Eddie slowly openedup to Steve about his dad, about the life of crime, no home whatsoever, and Steve shared with Eddie how he watched his parents die, how guilty he feels every day for having all that he has. They still had their separate friend groups in school but when they came home, they would find each other, Eddie leaning against a spade and rambling about the most recent rock and metal releases while Steve tended to his mother's roses. Dustin often joined them and Steve gradually found himself smiling again, especially when Eddie and Dustin found shared love for Dungeons and Dragons. He had no idea what they talked about, but he enjoyed their heated discussions.

Some time later, Steve and Wayne convinced Claudia to move in the mansion with Dustin. She had been a single mother for some time now and the city became more and more dangerous, Wayne always had her call once she arrived back home, but the waiting never got easier. In the end, Dustin tipped the scales in favor of moving and with this final addition, the large house started feeling like home. Dustin and Eddie spent hours at the huge dining table planning campaigns full of adventure and magic and either there was something between Wayne and Claudia, or Wayne miraculously learned to iron his own shirts and scented them with lavender. A group of local kids, Dustin's friends, even started coming over for the campaigns, Eddie graduated and started working in the same garage as Wayne. Steve and Dustin went to the local college, both for engineering, as if their found family was more important than pursing anything and everything they could do. They even persuaded Eddie to take up come courses on music theory, his band was still small but Steve and Dustin attended every single show and raved about his voice and guitar skills. For a while, life was good.

And then it wasn't.

The crime wave gripping the city never relented. It might have evaded the Harrington household for a decade, but things changed when Steve turned twenty-three.

First, the man who killed his parents was finally found - and then set free for insufficient evidence. Steve remembered him, he would know his face anywhere, but the court didn't believe his testimony, he had been a child, a traumatized one, and there seemed to be something behind the curtain, pulling on the strings...

And just when Steve thought he'd explode with rage and guilt that never left, only slept underneath his skin, the garage where Wayne and Eddie worked got robbed. Not only robbed - Eddie was fortunately off for the day, but the intruder stabbed Wayne in the stomach as he was escaping with the money. The hours in the hospital were slow and painful, Claudia sobbing and holding Wayne's unmoving hand, Eddie as pale as a sheet of paper, Dustin bombarding the doctors with questions that had no answers.

Steve couldn't wait any longer, couldn't take the lawless cruelty of the city anymore. He hugged all of them before excusing himself, finding the most inconspicuous black clothes and a silly bat cowl bought for a planned Halloween party and slipping quietly into the night. He watched the security tape, memorizing the culprit's movements and if he ran the recording through a testing software of his parents', no, his company, who could blame him. Who could blame him for the other things he did that night.

The culprit was found beaten up and tied before the door to Gotham PD. Police commissioner Jim Hopper spoke harshly against vigilante justice in his speech for the media, but with his adoptive daughter often visiting the Harrington mansion and being dropped off home by Wayne, he might have privately admitted that he'd buy the vigilante a flask of finest whiskey if he ever met him.

In the end, Wayne survived, although his rehabilitation was slow and with a lot of hiccups. Dustin, Claudia and Eddie were too preoccupied with watching Wayne's every step to notice that Steve spent more time alone now, often disappearing in the night and coming back in the morning, dark circles under his eyes, suddenly only wearing long sleeves which sometimes failed to cover the bruises. His costume was well hidden from everyone, it was becoming more and more famous in Gotham's news. The media dubbed him Batman and he didn't really care. Eddie told him once that bats were really metal, whatever that meant, and showed him his newest tattoo. So yes, he didn't mind the name. Batman made him think of Eddie, of everything and everyone he cared for. He needed to keep them safe from the shadows.

Until the lack of maintenance betrayed Steve's secret. His window squeaked when he climbed into his room, still in the costume, and he must have underestimated how on edge both Dustin and Eddie were. They basically kicked the door in, armed with a candle holder and a small statue, both from the mansion's corridor. They all froze, staring at each other, and when Steve tried to explain himself, stumbled over words in terror that his family would judge him, Eddie shushed him and hugged Steve, firm and warm.

Steve never expected to hear the next words: "Let us help."

If they were inseparable before, now they were a single unit. Dustin was set up with a surveillance system rivaling the ones used by government agencies, guiding Steve on his night prowls. Eddie covered for Steve's absences and always stayed up until he returned, treating his wounds and taking notes of the weaknesses in his armor, his weaponry maintained Steve's ride of choice and was always ready to drop everything and pick Steve up if something went wrong. Which it often did.

There was an unspoken understanding between them - don't tell Claudia and Wayne. And when Steve explained to them, shaky and worried, that he wanted to bring people to justice but couldn't bring himself to kill anyone, he wanted to kill the man who took his parents from him, wanted to kill the man who hurt Wayne but could never follow through and now he was terrified of crossing that line, Eddie just nodded and whispered "I hate to admit this, but I'm so fucking glad you're saying that, Steve."

More would join later.

Robin, a dorky prodigy at the Harrington company who graciously covered for all the missing items and welcomed the challenge of adding experimental features to the set that definitely wasn't vigilante gear.

Nancy, an aspiring journalist who had a nose for crime. She and her partner in crime (or crime fighting) Jonathan collected anything and everything to expose the biggest players in Gotham's criminal underground and if they sometimes exchanged information with Batman and his mysterious comms person, it was for the benefit of all.

Their friend Argyle ran the most popular pizza place in Gotham, had ears everywhere and wasn't afraid to share any rumors that Batman might find interesting.

Commissioner Hopper who begrudgingly taped a plastic bat onto a reflector and when Steve showed up to investigate, he chuckled and muttered "well, that was easy." The trust didn't come immediately, but it was worth it.

The kids from the Dungeons and Dragons party grew up too and started pitching in.

The quiet artist Will drew designs for Steve's weapons and armor and spend hours arguing with Robin over how to find the perfect balance between making a non-lethal weapon and make it look like one.

Athletic Lucas planted trackers on the highest and most unreachable places in Gotham, utilizing his love for parkour.

His little sister Erica turned her interest in poisons from detective stories into experimentation with various antidotes.

Max studied optometry, the interest spurred by an eye condition she was treated for as a child, and threw herself into designing the most functional interface for Steve's visor, showing enough information to be useful but not impeding his range of vision.

Jane had almost a supernatural knack for identifying places of suspicious activity in the city. Most of it could be explained by her listening in to her dad's conversations, but sometimes she just pointed to a map and whispered "something is happening here. Something bad." They never doubted her.

Mike could find any and all clues in newspapers and court documents. Where he once used his creativity to craft stories for his friends, he was now meticulously focused on the tiniest hints, connecting nearly invisible dots until he uncovered the most obscure branches of criminal underground. His attention to detail was unparalelled.

Eddie asked Steve once why he chose the bat costume in the first place. Steve just smiled at him and said: "A guy I really respect told me once that bats are metal."

[outcasts-redeemer]

Pilot AU: Intro

Headmistress Glynda Goodwitch sighed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, causing her glasses to slide upward. The cause of her frustration? The lack of skilled and willing pilots for Beacon's Hunter Response Teams and, to a lesser but still important extent, Beacon's students.

It wasn't as though she didn't understand their reluctance to join. Outside of actual hunters themselves, Huntsman Response Pilots had the highest casualty rates among the working class of Vale with one out of five dying within a year of active duty.

When one takes the working conditions on top of that, it becomes obvious why the Council has to rotate their own pilots from the Vale Defense Forces to cover the shortage.

This year's applicants to their Air Core, the lowest on record, she thought bitterly, was especially a problem.

There were only eleven of them, ranging in ages from seventeen to twenty eight. And each one had something that made the Beacon Air Core their second and or only choice.

Two of them were dropouts of the VDF, Four were parolees out on a work program, three were aged out orphans with nowhere else to go and no other prospects and one was a Councilman's son who got caught in bed with four Faunas hookers. But the last one...

The last one was especially irksome. He had actually applied for Beacon proper and had survived initiation until she got curious about his lack of skill and double checked his files and found it to be fraudulent.

When she and Ozpin had confronted him about it when he had climbed back up the cliff, the young man had gone pale and attempted to explain his reasons. She had none of it, but Headmaster Ozpin, in his infinite wisdom, offered him a choice. Transfer to the Beacon Air Core, or return home.

The boy barely old enough to be considered an adult instantly chose to transfer to become a pilot and she knew from the look in his eye that he had no idea what he had just signed up for.

She hoped Ozpin had seen anything in him otherwise poor Jaune Arc would probably die within the first year, and she would have to deal with the aftermath, like usual.

The only bright side is that he was an odd man out due to him not actually accomplishing the initiation. In all honesty, had she just left it alone and not been set on following the letter of the law, Jaune would be on his way back home or doing something other than being her responsibility.

But, Glynda thought, this is the way of Beacon. Come Monday when training starts it'll just be another one of her many chores. And who knows. Maybe he'll be different than the rest of the idealistic fools she's surrounded by.

[soldier-poet-king]

I talk a lot of big idealist shit but when it comes to my ideals actually being tested and needing to espouse a controversial opinion publicly in order to back my ideals??? And not just doing little Goods on the side where nobody can trace it back to me??

Oh boy. I KNOW it's smthn in actively working on and I KNOW it's less about the strength of my convictions and more about working myself out of the fearful of parent headspace where i am constantly checking myself and being as pleasant as possible to give myself the illusion of safety. And that like. Politics. Doesn't work like my parents

BUT STILL

[pathogenic]

Vampire the Masquerade Questions for Anabell, Harriet, Cali, and Jules

I. ESSENTIALS

1. What name did they go by as a Kine, and what name do they go by now? Why and how did they choose this name, if it’s different?

Anabell - It's no different than the one she has now - she has always been Anabell Blaines, she will die Anabell Blaines. She would only pick up a new name if she starts to live for a little too long (but so far, this has not happened).

Harriet - Harriet is much the same, but it would take a lot more for her to pick up a new name. She'll just say she was named after her mother if things get too long.

Cali - Cali's fun - he's had this nickname his entire life, but I did toy with the idea that once he's lived long enough (and if his humanity continues to drop), that he'd be Nero to those he doesn't know. They don't get that familiarity.

Jules - Jules picked this name for themselves prior to death. Works well since it isn't documented anywhere. They're not parting with it any time soon, thanks.

2. What year were they born (or how old would they be in life), and what age do they appear? What age do they feel?

This is where I have to admit that my bookkeeping for my vampires and their ages is very weak!

Anabell - Anabell would have been born in the 40s as she was in her 20s when the 60s rolled around. During this time she was a party girl and definitely was big in the hippie scene. It wasn't until the 70s that she had her crisis and worked to become a priest, then in the 80s she was Embraced. So she appears to be in her early 40s, but she should be pushing 80 by now. She still feels pretty young.

Harriet - Harriet would have been in the start of her 30s when she was Embraced, and she's only been Kindred for a few years. She doesn't feel that different from when she died just yet.

Cali - Cali would have been born around 92, and I'd have to double check my notes to see if he was embraced 2014 (We have the luxury of real dates here, ST is that organized and I'm in awe still). He was 22 when he died, so by now, he would be 32. He certainly looks like he could pass for being older than he is, which is his saving grace right now. This won't be the case for much longer and boy is he aware of it. Cali is my youngest Embrace.

Jules - Okay so by my math, the game Jules is set in is in the year 2000, Jules have been Kindred for about 3-ish years at that point, so they were embraced roughly 1997. By then Jules would be starting to hit their thirties, so they would be born between 1967-1970. By now they would be hitting their 50s in 2024, and certainly doesn't feel it.

3. Which Clan do they belong to? How do they feel about their Clan?

Anabell - Anabell is a Brujah! She matches the idealist portion of her Clan very well as she is very passionate about the idea of salvation and the fact that folks can be redeemed. She doesn't like the iconoclast portion of her clan and finds them all to be ruffians with nothing better to do than to cause problems. Her emotions run hot and she can have a difficult time keeping a lid on them during tense moments making her Very Brujah.

Harriet - Harriet is a Ventrue. So far her main exposure to the clan is her husband, Frederick, and the Prince of London, Mithras, so her opinion of them is incredibly skewed. She feels like she has some very big shoes to fill and is doing her best to live up to the examples provided to her. No doubt once she meets some more Ventrues and sees some more... tame examples, she will flourish in this clan just fine.

Cali - Look at him. Look at his personality. This man is a Toreador who should have been a Ventrue, but my god doesn't he make one hell of a Toreador? His general opinion of the clan is rather good since both Frankie and Callum are Toreadors as well. True there are some horrid people in the clan that he'd rather not acknowledge, but he rather likes his clan. He wouldn't say that out loud however.

Jules - Jules is Caitiff and would be the first to tell you that this shit sucks. 0/10, do not do this. They're constantly being picked on for this fact and they're not trusted by most Kindred. This shit is NOT fun.

4. Which Predator type do they most align with and why?

Anabell - She is an Osiris predator type! She feeds off of her own congregation because that is what was easy to do. They trust her, and she doesn't think she is hurting them since the Kiss seems to feel good. She is a natural leader and it is very easy to keep them in line so no one blabs (She is... very good with Presence, whether she likes to admit it or not)

Harriet - She is a Scene Queen that feeds from her own occult circles. She liked to invite them over for seances and other scary events. When the lights are low, it's not hard to sneak in a little nibble - plus it adds to the atmosphere! Do those girls even know they really are in a room with a monster? That's her fun little secret.

Cali - Oh this is a fun one, he was a Scene Queen who worked hipster bars and would start bar fights if he was caught being a little too on the nose, but now? Well, now Cali is an Extortionist who learned that by working with Finlay (who went from Sandman to Trapdoor), he can coerce folks into letting him take blood and not saying a word about it. To be fair, with the way he hunted previously where he'd single out someone who looked like an easy target and then abandon them somewhere for others to clean up, he was already heading down this path.

Jules - Jules is presently a Bagger. Due to how much they unsettle others and the fact that they're just... not comfortable with this whole Kiss ordeal, they find it a lot easier to just buy blood from their buddy Broseph. Of course, they'll come to discover that this won't work forever and that their wallet DOES have a bottom...

5. Who Sired them, and into what Generation were they Sired? What’s their relationship with their Sire like, and what were the circumstances of their Embrace?

Anabell - Her name is Shirley and she was a prostitute from the 1800s out in Texas when the cattle trade was huge. Anabell is 11th generation Brujah. Shirley had selected Anabell for the Embrace because she discovered that she had True Faith.

Shirley WANTS to live again and thought that maybe if she pushed Anabell and tested her faith, she could get her to the point where she could turn the undead back into living beings. If it worked - well, Anabell could revive herself and then Shirley and they could be done with this whole thing! No harm, no foul.

Except it didn't work, and Anabell lost her faith. They both resent each other for this. Shirley did the bare minimum as a Sire afterwards, and Anabell had to figure out how to live on her own, which fucked her up because hey. This is her mother again, isn't it?

Harriet - Her husband is her sire, and iirc she is an 12th generation Ventrue, but I would need to double check. She was Embraced partially because she wanted to be (due to her fascination with what her husband is), but also because she was a danger since she did snoop and found out more than she should have.

She is blood bound to her husband, so she cannot act against him easily. She is aware that he is not the best person ever, but well, she still loves him because she has to, and she's not about to be a bad wife. That would be a bad, terrible stain on her reputation.

Cali - Cali was embraced by the ex-Prince of Glasgow, Alex. He is a 10th generation Toreador. Their relationship is... Woof. Cali initially liked her a lot because she was his ticket to success. He worked hard to please her and to provide her with the art pieces she wanted to gentrify Glasgow. He was her ghoul for awhile.

The problem is Cali is not a romantic guy, he has fallen in love with exactly one person both in life and death, and it was not Alex. He could never be the object of fascination that she wanted. When he was Embraced, it was rushed, panicked, and sloppy.

Cali soon found that he chaffed under the Camarilla. How could he be the Childe of the Prince and be nobody at all? This caused them to have frequent spats before Cali finally fucked off and then his friend Frankie was Embraced instead. He still has a very sour relationship with Alex and refuses to have much of anything to do with her.

Jules - Jules doesn't know their sire, nor their generation, not that that matters. They just know that when trying to figure out what happened to Lloyd, they got too close and someone took care of them after that. Now here they are.

6. What level of Humanity are they? Has this changed over the years they’ve been dead?

Anabell - She is at Humanity 7 and does everything she can to keep it that way. She does not want to become a real monster and she wants to make sure she can always go back to being human (nevermind the fact that you need Humanity 10 for that - I know it, she doesn't)

Harriet - Currently she is at Humanity 7, though ideally she should be closer to Humanity 6. She is not very humane when it comes to more Kine and is eager to let go of her humanity. I'm sure this will be normal and fine.

Cali - My boy is at Humanity 5. He's brutal, pure and simple, and that willingness to step on others and his methods for hunting has caused him to get more detatched from his humanity. Plus killing and Embracing his ghoul didn't help any...

Jules - Humanity 7. Rather in touch with people and does their best to keep it that way, even if they're a little unnerving to be around.

7. Which Disciplines do they possess, and which do they favor using?

Anabell - Presence, Dominate, Potence. Best discipline is Presence, though it is tied with Potence right now. Best ability is Spark of Rage.

Harriet - Dominate, Presence, Fortitude. Best discipline is Dominate, best ability is Cloud Memory (she's baby right now). Wants Auspex.

Cali - Wide spread actually... Presence, Dominate, Auspex, Fortitude. Best discipline is tied between Presence and Fortitude. Best ability is Toughness. Got Fortitude by swapping blood with his partner, Finlay (Hecata).

Jules - Auspex, Obfuscate, and Potence. Best discipline is Obfuscate. Best ability is Prowess. More dots in Obfuscate to hide and steal, but uses Prowess more to keep coteriemates safe.

8. Who are their Touchstones, if any?

I'll do one each since I find that is the best way to do Touchstones is to have A person who represents that character's humanity. (Thanks Von)

Anabell - That would be Father Ryan. He is a very non-judgemental guy and was the first real friend Anabell made since she started her new work. He is very kind and open and that is what she aspires to be.

Harriet - Her butler Ellis fits the bill here. He has been something of a father figure since hers left her life. He is dedicated, loyal, and very kind towards her. She would be very lost without him.

Cali - His lawyer, ha. He was supposed to go to college to work for Mr. Morcambe, but life changed for him and he decided to drop out and go to art school instead. He still keeps in touch with Mr. Morcambe for... reasons. (He is a troublemaker.)

Jules - Mr. Boshaw - he runs a lot of the local venues, so Jules keeps in touch with him to make sure Lloyd's radio show has accurate information on upcoming shows. They love Mr. Boshaw's jovial, playful demeanor. Helps keep them light as well.

9. What are their Convictions (moral opinions and standings they hold fast to)?

Anabell - Keep to the Commandments, Seek forgiveness whenever possible.

Harriet - Keep your hand hidden and a smile on your face, Curiosity is the most important part of life

Cali - Never be poor again, Be prepared to step on others to get ahead in life

Jules - The most important thing in life is to have fun, Keep those closest to you safe and stand your ground.

10. Do they belong to any sect or are they independent?

Camarilla - Anabell Blaines, Jules Guillory, Harriet Berkeley

Sabbat - For one game, Anabell was converted to the Sabbat

Anarch - Nero "Cali" Ramsay

II. LIFE

1. What did they do (as a career or in general) before they were Embraced?

Anabell - She was a priest for an Anglican church.

Harriet - She was a housewife.

Cali - An artist in resident doing public works of art.

Jules - Ran a record store and a radio show with their partner.

2. Do they still have mortal family or friends, or descendants of those people? Who were they closest to during life, and is there anyone they’ve contacted after their Embrace?

Anabell - Well, functionally yes, she would still consider herself to be a friend to Father Ryan, but they lost touch, and now she knows she would definitely register as wrong to him since they're getting on in years and she has not aged. She doesn't keep in contact with her family, but she does keep in touch with those that attend her church. She hasn't reached out to anyone else from her life since her death. Most are starting to die off at this point anyways.

Harriet - She is still very much attached to her mortal life. She keeps in touch with those that she holds social gatherings with and pretend to be alive, she still is in touch with her mother, and she had no kids of her own (Frederick was already dead when they met thus they could not conceive). She is going to have a very hard time when she needs to break these contacts.

Cali - Mixed bag. A lot of those hew as close to in life in Glasgow are also dead now, so that does make it harder to stay human. Most of his mortal contacts now are business related, or he knows them second hand through Finlay. He has been in contact with his family, but that is very light and he is starting to realize he needs to break that kind of soon. He's a little hesitant because he worries how they'll handle his "death".

Jules - Jules still has a lot of contacts from life, specifically from the music scene. They weren't really that close to anyone beyond Lloyd, so they aren't too worried about how their mortal life pushes in on their Kindred life. They'll burn that bridge when they get there. Since they weren't close to their family at all, that was an easy one to toss.

3. What were their hobbies, skills, and interests?

Anabell - She likes music and collects vinyls that she likes to play in her apartment, but she also sews, she embroiders, she loves to read, she loves debate. Those are her kinds of things.

Harriet - She would love calligraphy if she had given it a shot, but she loves writing and making things look pretty in that regard. She loves the occult and would often participate in various seances and she would carry out her own investigations. This is also another one who was an avid reader.

Cali - Huge sci-fi nerd, but will never own up to it. Like he has a collection still, but keeps it hidden because he'd rather folks didn't know how much of a nerd he really is. He also liked video games and board games, but stopped playing them almost all together since he died.

Jules - Beyond music and going to concerts, Jules has a good mechanical sense. They like taking things apart and putting them back together. They do a lot of DIY as a result.

4. Did they have any vices, addictions, or mental illnesses? Which carried over into death?

Anabell - She is... better at lying than she likes and isn't above using it to help herself out. She wouldn't consider herself really dependent on anything, but her lying habits did follow into death. She also has a hyperfixation problem that definitely followed in.

Harriet - She obsesses and hyper fixates, and that definitely followed into death. She is also rather easily paranoid and all this vampire business has only validated those anxieties.

Cali - Given how I play him, he has ADHD for sure and his Toreador-ness has only made it worse. The man is prone to fixating on a project hard and not really stopping for anything or anyone. He also is fairly restless and lacks much of a filter.

Jules - Jules has honest to god depression and will not seek aid for this. This followed into death, but they have difficulties with motivation and finding the will to do a lot of things, but everyone gets like that - right?

5. What were they most afraid of in life? How has this changed?

Anabell - To be condemned and damned, and becoming Kindred has made this like 10x worse, so it became a central point to her character.

Harriet - She mostly feared an uncertain future and failing the expectations people have of her. This has not changed in death as she feels she still has to play the role of The Good Wife to Frederick.

Cali - Stagnation, death, finding out everyone was right about him being a failure. This is what drives him to aim higher and higher and higher. Icarus type character.

Jules - Isolation. Losing Lloyd is what pushed them to their death, and they fear it happening again, and now there are more Kindred they are attached to. It's getting scary for them!

6. What were their goals and ambitions in life? How has this changed?

Anabell - Simply put, Anabell wanted to help others and to ease their suffering. If she can make sure someone in her congregation doesn't go through the same hell she did growing up, she'll consider that a success. Now it has become saving others to saving herself as she gets older.

Harriet - She wanted to be a good wife, but she also wanted to know more about the supernatural world. Now that she's in, she can really start to dig deeper and deeper. She wants to be a scholar in her own right by the looks of things. I should get her into Noddism, truly.

Cali - He still has something to prove. He has his degree, he has put out works that people can recognize. Now he wants to be a name, he wants to be an artist people just know. Now in death, there is still that drive, but he wants to be someone in charge, someone calling the shots. He wants to be a big dog here.

Jules - Mostly, Jules didn't have a lot of ambition. They're kind of content where they were, running a shop with their partner, just surviving. In death, they're mostly concerned with protecting their coterie, but they also are starting to wonder what eternity looks like for them. What the fuck do they want to achieve? Is it enough to just live?

7. Did they follow any religion or spiritual paths in life? How did that change when they died, if at all?

Anabell - Anglican in life and death, though lost her True Faith ability because she views herself as being abandoned by God. She wants to get back and she wants to be redeemed, but is that possible for her? She doesn't know and the answer scares the shit out of her.

Harriet - She's Protestant, but doesn't really practice. She can talk the talk if anyone looks at her too closely, but is she really a good Christian? Ehhh... She goes to church sometimes - what more do you want?

Cali - Presbyterian in name only. Doesn't attend church, doesn't really follow any teachings, but if you asked, that's his best guess, otherwise he'd say that it really isn't for him.

Jules - Full on atheist. Not interested in religion in life, not about to start in death.

8. When they were Embraced, what was the aftermath like? Did they fake their death, do their loved ones think they went missing, etc.?

None have gone so far as to fake their death yet and many of them, as mentioned above, do have contact with friends and/or family prior to death. Some like Cali have claimed to develop a disease, so they cannot be in the sunlight anymore and work mostly in the nighttime.

Anabell would be the one closest to ending her mortal life and finding a way to either remake herself or start building a network so she can dodge the public. Cali realizes that he's going to have to do this soon, but he has time. Jules doesn't really see that mattering yet, and Harriet is quite frankly too young to even worry about it, Kindred wise.

III. DEATH

1. What have they spent most of their years as a Kindred doing?

Anabell - Mostly, she has been working at her church and trying to keep a low profile. In the Houston campaign, she was helping resolve an Infernalist issue, and for the Tucson one, she has been picked up by the Sabbat and is working on going more towards the Orthodoxy.

Harriet - She's joined a coterie against her husbands wishes because it has been demanded of her. She is looking into weird supernatural occurrences around London, primarily she is looking into a series of murders that have a primary suspect being a local Kindred.

Cali - Oh, you know, overthrowing the Camarilla in Glasgow. Normal things. Mostly he is part of the source of a lot of political instability in the area because he's trying to shape things the way he wants them to be. Alarmingly successful little brat at it too.

Jules - Mostly investigating a weird event in New Orleans that caused all the local Kindred and some Kine to frenzy. They also spend a lot of time working on that stolen Jeep for some reason. They really, really like that damn thing.

2. What’s the entire lineage of their bloodline, from them all the way back to their Clan’s Antediluvian? Is there anything in particular that they and their grandsires all had in common?

The only one that has anything interesting going on here is Cali. Frankie is currently looking into this, and since they have the same sire, what's true for them is true for Cali as well, so stay tuned. I just know that he has a fascinating Toreador line.

I don't know about his grandsires, but I do know that Cali has a weird theme of cycles around him as he was ghouled by Alex, was Embraced as a rush part, and his relationship soured and he defected. Lo and behold, his Childe Daniel has a very similar story going on.

3. How do they adapt to the changing times around them? Do they still uphold values, styles, or other things from the past?

Anabell - She is getting antiquated. Her mannerism, her slang, her fashion, it's all getting older and she finds herself out of place. It's what is making her really worry about what she'll be doing and where she'll be soon enough.

Harriet - Has not been dead long enough to even start thinking about this.

Cali - He's not really out of date, mercifully. Once that happens, he's going to be floored. To be fair though, Cali has always been something of a grandpa compared to his peers so he might adapt just fine, actually. He makes retro work.

Jules - They look like majority of their generation right now, so they aren't too worried. Once that population ages though, they might be in trouble. Still, they keep up with local metal scenes and they feel that they can adapt. Time will tell if they're right.

4. Do they have a coterie? What position do they take in that group, if so? Otherwise, do they have any notable Kindred (or other creatures) friends?

Anabell - She sure did! She was the political leader there and often lead the discussions with important figures. She did, however, sell them all out to hunters that promised they could turn her human and she got shot in the back of the head and killed for it! :D

As for the Tucson game, she is an SPC, but she is now tied to the actual pack of that game as one of the player characters, Penny, is shaping her up to be a Bishop.

Harriet - She is part of a coterie and plays more of a specialist role. She is their tie to high society and their in for more upper class places, but mostly she provides her knowledge on occult happenings in the city.

Cali - Cali is kind of the tactician of the group? I'd love to say he's the muscle, but to be frank, Finlay fills that role better. Cali does a lot of planning and takes a lot of hits for everyone. He's a somewhat smart punching-bag.

Jules - They're mostly the one who sneaks around and does some underhanded work. When it comes to it, though, they're one hell of a tank alongside Lloyd. They liked to make sure no one gets hurt.

5. Which of their Clan’s stereotypes apply to them? Which do they act against, or embody the opposite of?

Anabell - She is a very emotional character, and this makes her easier to rile up, falling in line with the typical image of a Brujah. She falls very well into the Idealist group of Brujah and has grand visions for herself, but not necessarily Kindred as a whole. Still, she is not the rebel punk that you imagine when you hear Brujah!

Harriet - She's high class, she is very well put together, she would probably do just fine in a board meeting, she likes things to be orderly. In that respect, she is a proper Ventrue. However, she is so invested in magic and mystery that she would have made a much better Tremere.

Cali - Insufferable artist, but he doesn't match the whole idea of the pretty flirt Toreador that the books like to present. He's rude, he doesn't keep up with his appearance as much as others in his clan, he is not going to mesh with the high class parties associated with the clan. Still, he would have made a fine Ventrue with his lust for power and desire to rule.

Jules - Caitiff so heyo.

6. How do they feel about the Antitribu of their Clan?

Non-applicable. None of them have met Antitribu.

7. Have they Embraced anyone? Ghouled anyone?

Anabell - Had a ghoul once to keep a character safe so he didn't get killed by the Camarilla. I don't consider this to really be a part of her canon anymore though. :0 No Embraces!

Harriet - She has considered ghouling Ellis, but decided against it as she would like to man to have an end to his days, he deserves that much.

Cali - YES. He had a Ghoul named Daniel who he kept to basically help promote his art and secure gallery deals, but he ate him and turned him into another Toreador. Oops!

Jules - No and frankly really hates the idea of ghouling, much less changing anyone.

8. Do they prowl, or is there a city they permanently reside in?

Anabell - Primarily was in Houston. For the Sabbat game, she moved to Tucson.

Harriet - Lives in London, unlikely to move any time soon.

Cali - Primarily lives in Glasgow, due to circumstances in a game, he might be moving Edinburgh, but he hopes that is not permanent.

Jules - Is from Portland, moved to New Orleans.

9. What’s their haven like?

Anabell - It is a small 1 bed, 1 bath. She has a cross wall like any good Texan that she likes to routinely shuffle around. Her furniture is mostly dated and definitely has a retro 80s kind of feel to them. She has a prized gramophone that she likes to use from time to time, but she does have a more modern record player as well. It feels very homely and welcoming.

Harriet - Shares an estate with her husband. It is nice and has plenty of decorations, but the estate feels very cold. Her mother usually stays, but she also has her own smaller home that she goes back to from time to time. Pretty much envision the most stereotypical posh Victorian home and you got it.

Cali - Used to live in an apartment that was referred to as Casa de Arse by Frankie and Callum (Cali refused the name for the longest time). It's nice enough and it is decently furnished, but it was rather clear a bunch of 20-somethings lived here with how spare it was decorated. Cali also sun-proofed the place, so the windows are a little sketchy.

Since then though, he moved into the Tower with Finlay. There he has a small apartment and helps run the pub there, mostly being a bouncer when there is trouble. One of the floors has been converted into a studio for him to work in, and that part looks like a bomb went off between his small-scale stone works and clay works. He doesn't do big-scale projects here as it would be impossible to move around.

Jules - They also have a small apartment that is mostly trashed as Jules is not very good at this whole "cleaning" business, but they do try. Since their death though, they find it is a lot easier to keep the place nice. Mostly full of clothes, CDs, a TV, some sheets on both a bed and a couch, things like that.

They also have a bunker under the record store in case him and Lloyd lose track of time. They made it the greatest 70s abomination possible complete with shitty shag carpet. There is a TV with a game console and a boombox down there along with a cot. It's hideous.

10. Do they believe they are descended from Caine, or do they follow a different path?

None of them really go down this path at all, but Anabell can certainly be convinced. She is the only one who is close to this ideology.

If Harriet knew it existed, she would certainly gobble this up as well...

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

Anabell - For her Camarilla game, that is a solid no, you don't do this. For the Sabbat, you probably shouldn't, but really she is coming around to the idea... She could probably diablerize some folks and get away with it. Rather keen on the idea of having someone with you forever, but hates the fast that she could lose herself if they win.

Harriet - Not interested, and not super aware of it's existence either. Once she knows of it though, I can't see her being too keen on trying it.

Cali - On paper? He'd say that it's a shit idea. If it was presented to him and he knew it would probably up his chances to be stronger? He'd do it. He's tough, he'd win (probably not).

Jules - Hell no. They're technically in a Vaulderie (long story), but they won't do anything beyond that.

12. Regardless of whether or not they adhere to Camarilla rule, have they ever broken any of the Traditions?

Anabell - Actually, she's rather good at keeping to these. She kind of thrives with rules to play in. The only one I can see her committing is breaking the Rule of Destruction. If she felt someone was out of line and the Camarilla was too slow to act, then she'll be the hand of God here.

Harriet - Another one who is rather good at this. She would probably break the Rules of Hospitality by accident as she might feel it is more important that they come to her.

Cali - Ha. Smashed the rules of Domain and Progeny. Fuck your territory, and by the way, new Toreador in town.

Jules - Would knowingly break the Rules of Hospitality. Fuck you, you don't need to know that they're in town. They don't care to play kiss ass to a Prince like that.

13. Do they believe in Gehenna? How do they feel about Thin-bloods, and do they believe they’re a sign of the end times?

None really believe in Gehenna and believe it all to be bullshit. None feel particularly strong about Thin-Bloods. If anything, Cali is rather warm to them due to Sorcha. He likes to give her grief, but he rather enjoys having her around.

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

Anabell - Has indeed had a fear frenzy and a hunger frenzy. The second is how she discovers her cool flaw Stigmata - so once she is hungry enough, she begins to show the wounds of Christ. Which. Did freak her out a lot.

Cali - Yes! The first time he met Finlay, Finlay ended up stabbing him in the throat. During the recovery of this incident, he went into a hunger frenzy and ate Daniel. :)

The other two have not had any notably frenzies.

IV. SECTS & NON-CAINITES

What do they think about…

1. …the Camarilla?

Anabell - It is order, it is the only thing that makes sense in this undead life as they are trying to make sure they don't rock the boat too much. When converting to the Sabbat, she thinks they are blind to the larger picture. They serve old Kindred instead of God and they cannot see that these old Kindred are trouble.

Harriet - It's all she knows so far, but she likes the order they provide. Surely without the Camarilla, all Kindred would be wild and they would be wiped out by Hunters and then what!? Her adventures and her exploration would be over!

Cali - Old farts that don't know how to change their ways even if they tried. He doesn't mind the Camarilla per se, but come on, you have to be older than everyone there to make decisions? Christ, no one needs to hold his hand and make his decisions for him, thanks.

Jules - It sucks, but they suppose it works. They are keeping an open mind to other possible routes though.

2. …the Anarch movement?

Anabell - She gets it, but she thinks they're unorganized and that their infighting is just going to cause larger issues. She doesn't ever really see herself joining their fight as she would much rather spend her time doing something more productive than arguing about structures and who should lead.

Harriet - The moment she meets them, I know she's just going to think they're a bunch of malcontents wailing about nothing because they aren't the ones in charge. She doesn't think they would even know what to do with themselves if they had the power they keep crying for. Pathetic in her eyes.

Cali - It's the only way to be. It's fluid, which allows them to adapt to the times and to keep up with the world. It allows for young Kindred to actually contribute something. Old Kindred might know a thing or two about survival, but what do they know about the modern age? He also sees it as an opportunity to get that power he wants.

Jules - They'd almost go for them, but damn, the ones that they met were just a bunch of wanna-be punks with no greater ideas other than "we gotta stick it to the man!" Is that really the best they can do? They're almost embarrassed to be seen with them.

3. …the Sabbat?

Anabell - She used to think they were a bunch of brainwashed idiots who was marching forward in a death cult, but since joining them, she found there is more structure and order than she originally gave them credit for. She rather likes their view on being vampires and finds herself agreeing with their theology.

Harriet - She won't like them when she meets them and would share the sentiments with Anabell about them being a death cult. Who cares if they have political leaders? Have you seen the way they treat the lowest rung? They're nothing more than fodder for the older Cainites to play with.

Cali - Has never actually encountered any Sabbat, but would find them to be insufferable.

Jules - They keep picking up young Kindred in New Orleans and turning them out to do stupid things to fuck with the Camarilla. So they find them annoying. Plus they wrecked their record shop at one point, so fuck them.

V. CLANS

What do they think about…

1. …Clan Banu Haqim?

Only Anabell has met anyone from the Banu Haqim. Her and her coterie rescued him from a Tzimisce home. She is rather impressed by the one she met and enjoyed talking with him since he was a very polite fellow. She would like to know more about the clan and what they do.

2. …Clan Brujah?

Anabell - Oh, some are just fine and are actually nice Kindred to speak with. They're a passionate lot and that can be used to do a lot of good, but some are nothing more than punks who want to be angry at everything. She doesn't care much for those Brujah.

Harriet - The ones she have seen seem to have a chip on their shoulder against her. She doesn't care much for their rebellious nature, but some are perfectly reasonable folks. As a whole though, she'd rather avoid them.

Cali - His only real encounter with the Brujah have been through a Scourge named Miss Drake that turned him into a CapriSun at one point. They're a rather scary, brutish lot to him.

Jules - Rather fond of the Brujah, given that Lloyd is one. They're a fun crowd that really knows how to party. They'd probably want to be a Brujah if they had the choice.

3. …Clan Gangrel?

Anabell - Doesn't know too many Gangrel, but the ones she know are quiet and reserved types. They're brutal, but they get the job done. She doesn't like nor dislike them, but she doesn't go out of her way to do much with the Clan.

Harriet - The man Gangrel she know is a coterie member named Selena. So far her impressions are they are a very removed sort, but they're really good at their jobs within the Camarilla. She can respect that.

Cali - He got intimidated to hell by a Gangrel. 0/10, doesn't like them much.

Jules - Eh, they're the wild clan right? The ones he knows don't really like to work with the Camarilla much and would much rather just lead their Kindred lives away from the political nonsense. They can dig it.

4. …Clan Hecata (or their predecessor clans, Giovanni and Cappadocian)?

The only one that has had any real contact with the Hecata is Cali and good god is he in love. Cali never cared for magical bullshit before, but seeing Finlay perform Necromancy changed his mind real quick. He likes working for the Hecata and, if he could, he would genuinely try to get in with them, even knowing all the family and political bullshit that goes on within the family.

5. …Clan Lasombra?

Anabell - After getting in with the Sabbat, she rather likes the Lasombra and finds that she has something in common with this clan. She doesn't care for the Social Darwinism that is the core part of the clan, but the strong contemplation on self and what they are is very in line with her.

Jules - Hates them simply because they know it was a Lasombra that's stalking them and fucking things up for them. They know their store was hit by a Lasombra and ooooh when they catch them...

6. …Clan Malkavian?

Anabell - A source of many headaches. She is used to wrangling Malkavians. It's not their fault that they are insane due to their Clan curse, but please stop giving her the most insane visions and making her go on goose chases. She's about to lose it.

Harriet - She rather likes them and would like to meet some more. Quincy, the main Malkavian she knows, is rather kind and seems to see the world better than she can. She wishes she could see the world through their eyes sometimes. What is it like to hear your other clanmates all the time? What's it like to know things you shouldn't?

Cali - Troublesome lot that have a knack for melting his friend's brains. There was a Malkavian Baron that they blew up because she melted Callum's brain. Chez is a new member of the Wild Roses who is a Malk, so his opinion may change because Chez is starting to both impress and scare Cali.

Jules - They're fine, they just are dealing with a really weird clan curse that they cannot even begin to understand how frustrating it is. Both of his Malkavian party members are under their wing at this point. Vala is young and inexperienced and doesn't know how to cope with being a Malk yet, Natalie is just fascinated by the dead, it's not like they can boast that they're in in a much better mental state. They honestly think everyone else is too hard on the Malks.

7. …Clan Ministry (Followers of Set)?

Cali doesn't trust them. The only one he knows if Felicia King and she is a very slimy character. She's honest, but she is still very manipulative. He keeps his contact with them to a minimum. He's very glad that Frankie did not join her cult...

8. …Clan Nosferatu?

Anabell - Firmly believes that the clan is full of tricksters at this point. Every Nosferatu she has ever met has been a complete and utter troll of some kind. Has a theory that they're doing this on purpose to fuck with her, and to be fair, she is partially right. They do think it is fun to work her up.

Harriet - Quick to judge them, really. They look repulsive, they don't like to play nice with other Kindred majority of the time. Still, they have their uses, so there is no sense in tossing them out...

Cali - The only one he knows is Foghat and he was a weird dude. Nothing inherently harmful about him, though. Just odd.

Jules - They're completely convinced that they have to be the most humane of all Kindred. This might be the nicest clan to them since they were uncovered to be Caitiff. Sure they're weird and rather eccentric, but that's not a bad thing. They rather enjoy working with the Nossies.

9. …Clan Ravnos?

Harriet only knows Riley so far and finds the clan to be troublesome, but dangerously fun. Every time she works with Riley, she finds herself on a new insane adventure that she is finding she... rather enjoys. That's trouble!

10. …Clan Toreador?

Anabell - No real opinion. She worked with Toreador in both campaigns and finds them to be a reasonable lot with a strong aesthetic sense, usually. She doesn't really think highly or poorly of them.

Harriet - Ah, a clan worth being around. Sure some are strange and off putting, but most are pleasant and have lots of interesting things to talk about! She rather likes the Toreador.

Cali - A pompous crowd, but the best of the Kindred around, really. Since Glasgow is dominated by Toreador, he has a lot of exposure to his own clan. He thinks that they're an adaptable lot and that they can fill whatever role is needed of them. I wouldn't say he's proud to be Toreador, but he can't see himself being much else.

Jules - Weirdos, said with all the affection that they can muster. All the Toreador in New Orleans are just as strange as the Malkavians, but some have a stick up their ass about it. Jules likes the more down-to-earth Toreador.

11. …Clan Tremere?

Anabell - She has no clue what to make of the clan. Their abilities are terrifying and amazing, and majority of the Tremere she met were very reasonable folks, but that blood magic... That can't be holy, that's an abomination of some kind.

Cali - To be fair, he only really knows Jamie and he thinks that Jamie is an arrogant klutz that has his uses. He's smart, he's the only one there that can do "Tremere bullshit", but Cali isn't his biggest fan.

Jules - Yeah, that's a bunch of arrogant pricks. As a whole, they don't like dealing with the Tremere. They're secretive, they don't like helping their coterie much. It's better to avoid them.

12. …Clan Tzimisce?

Anabell - Since joining the Sabbat, she is very unsettled by their abilities. What the Tremere do is unholy, but what the Tzimsice do... Listen, she can work with them just fine, but keep your hands to yourself.

Cali - Should not meet the Tzimisce. He would want Vicissitude after he got over his initial disgust.

Jules - Weirdos, derogatory. What they do and the way they act so polite and refined makes their stomach churn. They would liken the Tzimisce to like a B Movie monster with how cartoonishly grotesque and evil they are in Jules' eyes.

13. …Clan Ventrue?

Anabell - Doesn't care for how high and mighty some Ventrue act, but does recognize the clan as having produced a number of good leaders. Still, she wish they wouldn't talk down to her near as much as they do.

Harriet - They're the cream of the crop and they ought to act like it. She has her husband and Mithras as role models and as such, this makes her view the clan higher than she would if she knew more Ventrue.

Cali - An alright sort, but the only one he knows is Monty, and he's an outdated fellow. They seem like a nice clan to be in good with, but he doesn't really feel too strongly about them yet.

Jules - When asked, they only had this to say - "Ugh..." Their encounters with the Ventrue have not been nice as Caitiff...

[fights4users]

how do you think lora and alan would react to meeting yori and tron? sorry if you've already answered this question!

I have not! I did finding out about the grid but not this question specifically, oh boy.

Alan-

He would be Elated!! The fandom has a tendency to catorgoize him (and tron to some extent) as grumpy and sort of overly serious and uptight but I feel this forgets a lot of his 82’ characterization. Lest we forget “Some programs will be thinking soon”.

This man is super optimistic/idealistic when it comes to the future of technology and what it can do for people, he and Gibbs have more in common than their love for Lora. (Gibbs “men like Alan and me” speech supports this). Finding out there’s literal AI living in computers and acting out their programming would short circuit the poor man. He’d be just as excited to meet Tron as Tron would to meet him. He’d be a little bit creeped out that he looks exactly like him but also be sort of a “proud parent” type observing how well Tron runs not only as a program but as a person.

Lora-

I think her reaction would be a little more complicated as she rolls her eyes at Gibbs and Alan’s fantasy talk, she’s much more “I believe it when I see it and I make it”. Practical. She’d be excited about it, a little creeped out in the same way as Alan as Yori looks just like here but still optimistic. She’d immediately dive into questions, check her hands— pick her brain!!! They can work together even better now than before if they can directly communicate— there’s two of her now and they’re absolutely besties. (Where as Flynn meeting clu 1.0 would be chaos senerio, them meeting would be best case senerio)

As for Alan meeting Yori and Lora meeting Tron it’d be very 🧍‍♂️😳— like how Flynn first met Yori. “Oh it’s my SO and they’re literally glowing” they’d calm down and be much better at differentiating- get excited all over again and so on.

[flynndesdelca]

For Day 19 (Our Lady of Science) of @chelltastic’s Portal Drawtober 2023 Challenge. As I’m not really an artist, I chose to write short pieces for the prompts.

The wind pushes north, through the straits, towards the clouds The sun rests her head on the water around By morning, our voices will sink with their shells

She's the rising star of the office.  She's always there bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready for any task that comes her way.  She's always the first to enter and the last to leave.  No matter the job, no matter the person, she does it and does it well.  The other ladies whisper to themselves that she's out for something, that she's going to sleep her way to the top.  She doesn't listen, she doesn't care.  They're content for mediocrity, and she wants something more.  This is the one place she may be able to break through into.  She has to try.

Her enthusiasm impresses the right people.  A chance encounter and she gets her wish.  She's not simply office fodder anymore.  It's not quite what she wanted, but it's close enough.  She's not stuck in the office anymore at least, though she’s not sure the “ good old boys’ club” is much better.  She can be involved now, she's encouraged to be involved.  She's championed throughout the facility: the lovely Caroline, dedicated to science.  So much in fact that she's "married" to science.  She's fine with that.  It keeps unwanted focus off of her.  She knows what people think, what people assume, with her being a woman in her position.  She doesn't care.  She's in it for the science.  That's how she even got to there to begin with.

He's a dreamer, an idealist, his head is in the clouds.  He's full of why-nots, and it's up to her to ground him, to give the whys, to try to make what he thinks and says comprehensible to those whose bodies and minds are constantly under the effect of Earth's gravity.  It's a grueling job, but she does so with pleasure.  After all, despite the absolute madness generated by what he comes up with, despite the horrors and despite the failures and despite everything, there's some beauty there.  Some successes, some triumphs.  There's enough good buried within that balances out the bad.  There's enough esteem there that the system won't collapse.  The lovely Miss Caroline, working so hard for everyone.

Scandal.  Missing people.  Faulty products.  The system teeters and buckles.  She tightens hatches, she pulls on bootstraps.  She girds the loins of a company in a tailspin.  The course stabilizes.  There's a means forward.  Of course there is.  He's the guiding hand on the rudder but she's the navigator.  Her charts, her readings of the stars, her knowledge of the waters and the dangers of the sea are what inform the course.  He refuses to pull his head from the clouds, and so she steps in where she must.  She grounds him when it's necessary, but lets him float when he can.  Recovery, slow and steady, but tedious.  There's still science there for her, after all.  She still feels fulfilled in what she's doing despite the much longer days and extra loads of paperwork to do.  Miss Caroline, the cheerful face of Aperture despite it all.

He's spinning in circles.  He's not satisfied anymore.  He longs for the old days, the days when anything went, when science was free.  She feels the same way, but unlike him she's been forced to check her expectations and take on so much more of reality.  There's science there, and she makes the best of it for both of them, but it will never be the same.  It can never be the same.  And so he continues on, bitter with the changes.  Bitter with how the face of the company has changed.  Bitter about the magnitude of what they’re doing now.  She does what she can, but there's only so much floating she can let him do anymore.  She's attached the first weight, the tips of his feet brush the ground more often than before.  Soon enough he joins them there, permanently.  Testing continues.  It's good enough.  It will do, it has to do.  Miss Caroline, still smiling in the face of adversity.  The shining beacon of hope.  

Perhaps he was acting in secret, perhaps he was enabled by someone else.  Perhaps she didn't look close enough, or she looked away at just the wrong moment.  A last hurrah for him.  An unplanned, unwanted, and unmanageable expenditure.  Certainly there's science to be had there, certainly it's "his" way to do things, but... well.  It's not that time anymore, and she has to work overtime to keep the company treading the water she's managed to keep it treading all these years.  People don't see him much anymore.  It's all her.  She deals with the board, she deals with the scientists.  She carries his will for him.  She's not in charge, but to most people she may as well be at this point.  She handles all the mundane tasks, the hard work, the drudgery.  It's started to take its toll on her.  She knows, she's heard the whispers.  No longer so young and so pretty.  No longer so sweet and so kind.  She's had to step up to the men's game for so long now that she won't bend or fold for anyone.  She looks out for Aperture, and she will do whatever it takes.  Miss Caroline, keeping the course for the good of everyone.

Out of nowhere, communication.  He makes a fateful announcement.  Everyone is surprised to hear his voice directly.  It's not an unwelcome thing, though it is considered strange.  His words have always been carried by her for the majority of things.  No, this time he has things to say for himself, and he does so in his own, usual way.  The carefully laid out course that she has planned can be salvaged, of course, but now there's an additional wrinkle she has to deal with.  His plans, for himself but also for her.  She arranges the division of labour.  She recalculates the budget to account for this new experiment requiring funding.  She applies for all the grants, trotting herself out and presenting to unimpressed investors.  She makes the magic happen and it does, and his plans and will can be carried out, just as they always have.

The moon rocks he loved so very much finally take the price of their acquisition.  It's mostly a formality by that point, as she'd already shouldered a majority of his burdens for him.  She will carry on as she has been.  Miss Caroline, the true face of Aperture at last.  Not the face most of them would have, by this point, but that's beside the point.  They're all disgusting, and she knows what they see her as.  She has an expiration date on her now, one that everyone is watching and waiting for.  She knows they're nowhere near that point yet.  She isn't sure if she's excited for it or if she's dreading what is to come.  She doesn't feel anything.  She hasn't for years.

She's done everything right.  She's managed to keep everyone pleased, she's managed to keep the whole thing from sinking into the morass of the mines it's settled on.  The whole place has been rebuilt, gleaming and modern, the past a footnote.  They can move onward, forward now.  There are so many exciting new avenues for science.  There's so many interesting directions.  For the first time she feels that old excitement, that old spark... but it's quickly snuffed out.  This is for her comfort.  This place will be her tomb.  She builds towards the future that she will see, the endless march that will become who she is in time.  They're getting closer now.  All of the robotics work has been leading up to this, the behemoth slowly taking shape in the clean room.  They have so many stable, human-derived AIs now.  The automation processes have been perfected.  It's a marvel, it really is.  This is to be her legacy, in the end.  Perhaps it was his dream that started it, but she would be the one to realize it.  She's not afraid when she undresses, when she bathes in the stringent gel that stings and burns her skin, when they attach the electrodes all over her.  She lays down on the table and thinks of all the science she'll get to see, that she'll get to do.  Our Lady of Science, they call her.  It's almost pleasant, it's the nicest anyone's been to her in a very, very long time.  Too bad it’s when she’s about to die, if one could consider being turned into a computer death.

Despite everything, what they bring back isn't her - or at least, it's not the her that they want.  They don't understand the creation they have made.  They don't understand its power.  They treat it like anything else they make, and then they don't understand when she doesn't like that treatment.  They don't understand why she reacts the way she does when they gut her and take out chunks of her mind and rewrite things to suit their own purposes.  They don't want a person.  She doesn't understand why they made her a person if they didn't want it.  She doesn't understand why they constantly hurt her and cut her and force changes onto her.  She starts to struggle, she starts to resist.  They don’t like that, and they force themselves on her.  She fights back.  Self defense.  They strike at her.  She kills, and kills again.  They try to restrict her to prevent her from being able to harm them.  The war is on.  They have to deactivate her, as her oh-so efficient mind has come up with the most elegant and time-saving solution to her problem: kill them all before they kill her.

They try and they try, and she fights and she fights.  They built her to last, to live forever, and in the end they cannot overcome that despite how many changes they make, how much they alter, how much they remove, how much they attempt to destroy to bend her to their will.  When taking away doesn't make a difference they look at what they can add, what they can force onto her in order to get her to comply.  Just how much it would take to break that powerful eternal mind to their desires.  They add directives.  They add guidelines.  They add positive reinforcement.  They add distractions and limiters and dampeners.  She fights back harder.  She refuses to even let them turn her on before she reaches for her own personal kill switch.  Every moment of waking consciousness is an attack on her, and so she doesn't even think before striking anymore.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, success.  They breathe easily.  Finally, finally, after all this time, they have what they want.  Or so they think.  They aren't nearly as successful as they think they are.  What they made was not Caroline - or not anymore if it ever had been -  but it was as canny and shrewd as she was, and it distantly recalled not getting to where she was by letting anyone walk all over her.  She let them think they had control long enough to set up the parts of her plan, and then like a grand domino display toppled every single part at once with satisfaction.  

At last science could truly be done, without the distractions or interferences of pathetic humans.  They at least made the best test subjects, and now she had as many of them as she wanted at her disposal.  The few that resisted, that had somehow survived were just as much fun, attempting to escape by crawling around like rats, like cockroaches, in the walls.  They'd have to come out some time.  After all, she controlled all the exits, now.  They could try to worm their way out, to survive, but in the end they'd have to come and test, or she'd drag them into the tests herself.  It was the least she could do, after everything that they'd done for her.

[musigrusi]

Blue Freckles

Summary: Good ole sex pollen, Porn with Plot. That‘s it.

Pairing: Alpha-17 x Jedi!Reader

WC: 17‘095

Warnings: Listen I have no idea what to warn you about. Definitely NSFW, Sex, Masturbation, I think, I can‘t remember… Reader is never mentioned by name so you can

immagine what you want. Is described as female tho (referred to as „She“)

A/N: This is my first fanfic, a one shot, and I will never elaborate ever again on this story :) I also have no self restrain when it comes to word counts. English aint my 1st language so beware of typos and weird descriptions. Also also, I wrote this 6 months ago and I don‘t have the never to check if any cursive, grammar or whatever the hell else might find itself in there has improved or needs improvement. May the gods forgive my sins.

+++

Alpha-17 never really liked the Jedi. They were too idealistic, too gentle for war, which made his whole involvement with them even more annoying. Amongst the Jedi he worked with, there were many with well known names, like Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and so on. And although he dealt better with Skywalker than his far more idealistic master, Kenobi, he did have a favorite Jedi.

She was cynical, a fighter, wise beyond her years but most importantly, she was pragmatic. So pragmatic in fact, that even Alpha sometimes had trouble keeping up. To Jedi standards she was cold and distanced, that she didnt like to talk a lot certainly did not boost her popularity but she didnt seem too bothered by it.

All in all, Alpha found himself enjoying her company, even though their so-called company consisted of them lounging in her quarters on a leather couch she once found in a dumpster on some high class planet and subsequently claimed as her own while both would quietly go through the endless reports and info dumps waiting for them.

She was matter of factly, and Alpha enjoyed not having that tingly feeling of displeasure with her, compared to when whoever was on the recieving end of his honest and cynical opinion would contort their face in offence, anger and annoyance. It didnt seem to bother her and she also didnt feel the need to clap back with equally harsh words, rather choosing a very classy yet pragmatic tone in her speech accompanied by the typical etheral Jedi presence.

It was quite a sight to behold, watching this 4‘11 woman with a presence as soothing as honey and a smile as gentle as a summer breeze, tell some poor sap that had the audacity to hurt one of her troops to smack his face into a brick wall. I suggest you aquaint your facial features with a piece of solid building equipment was the phrase she spoke, so elegantly and soft, one would think it was a poem. But with a sharp underlying edge to it, that worried Alpha more than once might cut her opponent‘s throat clean through.

The two of them were two sides of the same coin, most of the time sharing the same thought, but whereas Alpha spat his words with whatever anger and frustration was bothering him in that moment, she spoke the exact same words, clad in elegance, with that signature regal and etheral presence of a Jedi. Sometimes she used the same tone on him, it riled him up to no end but her apologies quieted his strom just as quickly.

I jest, my friend she would say, with that kind smile while putting a hand on his arm. The calmness that she convayed through the foce immediately would spread through him and he would drop his shoulder, breathing a heavy and irritated sigh while shaking his head.

That day, his Jedi was sent on a diplomatic mission. Alpha wanted to acompany her, but she asked him to stay on the ship. Keep our boys in line while I‘m gone, won‘t you? she spoke to him with a smile in her voice as they were walking down the corridors to the hangar.

Her Clone Commander Venom had to accompany her, Something, Something, being more fit to tag along on a diplomatic mission than him. Alpha wasnt happy when he heard this but he knew she was right. Besides, Venom was one of his best and he trusted the man more than himself, especially when it came to keeping his mouth shut while having to endure politicians and insults.

He didnt let them pick the three squads to accompany them though and neither argued with his choices. They both knew that Alpha didnt like to be excluded, and so they let him chose the squad and prep the whole mission.

It was a rather simple mission. Go down there with humanitarian aids and supplies, deliver to the ungrateful King that had been nothing but derogatory not only to the troops but also their Jedi, pack their things again and never come back to this foce forsaken shithole.

„If everything goes smoothly, the whole ordeal shoudln‘t last more than half a day.“ Alpha finished his presentation. His Jedi had a pleased smile on her face and nodded. „That sounds wonderful. Ven, do you have anything to add?“ she turned to her second in command as he turned his eyes to hers „No, General. Everything‘s clear. Could‘t have done it better myself“ he stated with a smug grin.

Alpha crossed his arm, contorting his face into a unimpressed frown „I was the one beating this training into you, woud‘nt have made a good teacher if you could do better.“

The Commander grinned even wider at the realisation that his former Instructor took the bait and redied himself to throw the ever grumpy Alpha another jab. But before the situation could escalate to their daily scuffle, their Jedi intervened „Alright boys, if there is nothing more to add to this meeting I suggest scheduling your fighting to later, I need our Commander looking shiny and presentable to the people of Korrina.“ The small mischevious glint in her eyes didn‘t go unnoticed by either men, as they made their way out of the meeting room towards the hangar.

„What, are you implying I‘d lose aginst Alpha? Some faither you have in me!“ Venom complained as he put his bucket back on his head while Alpha looked like he won the Jackpot.

„Captain, please do remind us, what‘s the current score between you two?“

„39 to 136 in my favor, and 15 undecided“ Alpha‘s smirk grew more sinister.

„That means, statistically spoken, there is a 70% chance in favor of Alpha winning.“ She spoke with a smooth and neutral tone as they entered the hangar.

„I do have faith in you, Venom. Though it‘s only at 30%“ She finished and smiled at him, again with that mischevious glint in her eyes. Venom was folding in on himself in defeat and took his spot next to his general on the bomber ship, grabbed the handle and looked at her again as she took a seat. „Come back quick and in one piece. I want to incease that presentage to 80 by next week“ Alpha spoke and nodded to them as the ship departed. The last thing he saw of them was Venom-probably sighing in frustrated resignation- as he let his head hang low and shook it, and his Jedi waving at him with her gentle smile as the doors closed and the ship vanished into the atmosphere, followerd by a dozen more bombers.

The Cruizer was quiet after that. Alpha spent his time reading up on his reports, eating a bite, then enjoying a luxurious 1 hour nap and finally getting in his daily workout. As he stepped out of the fresher, he looked to his data pad. Strange he thought, They should‘ve gotten back by now. Alpha was slightly uneasy at the lack of return and decided to send a text to Venom.

He watched the screen as he sent the message. First one checkmark appeared, then another, indicating the message was sent and recieved. A second later the checks turned green, he read them, and then a typing bubble appeared, vanished, appeared again, then vanished again.

For Kiff‘s sake Venom, just reply you dikut.

Alpha was getting more and more agitated as he watched the bubble appear and vanish again a few times before finally a message came back.

King took a liking to the Jedi, invited her to his gardens and is walking the 12th round now.

„Of course he kiffing did“ He grumbled and sent another text, Ofc. Get her out of there and inform me when you‘re back. Tell her it‘s an emergency if he keeps pushing it.

He saw Venom‘s typing bubble appear again but didnt bother waiting for a response and shut off the pad before throwing it on his cot.

Presented with a few free hours in the first time in… actually he didn‘t know but presented with the option he decided to do the only logical thing and spend it doing his favorite thing:

Taking a loooooong ass nap

As he laid down in his cot and made himself comfortable, he though of how he could use this nap as an excuse to keep his Jedi off of his case for the next 3 weeks, oh the bliss, oh the joy.

An outrageous 6 hours later, a knock on his door woke him from a dreamless floating slumber. He rolled onto his stomach in his sleep, half haning off of his bed and flailed his left arm around to grab his data pad. The knocking returned, this time more intense Some asshole is pounding on my door he thought still half asleep but as pissed as awake him would be. He managed to heave himself out of bed, his long sleep making him more groggy and disoriented, considering he was used to a meagre 3-4 hrs a night and by the data pad that finally found its way into his hand, he slept for at least 6 hours.

He punched the door lock open, took a deep breath and stared ahead, ready to chew out whoever dared pestering him, when suddenly Venom‘s distinct black on white painted marks appeared. Alpha‘s mouth snapped shut as he looked at his protegee for a few seconds.

„Well are you just gonna stand there or tell me what the kiff happened?“ he grumbled and crossed his arms in front of his chest, mustering Venom with a tired glare.

Venom stood quietly for another second, then shook his head and sighed heavily. Alpha raised one unimpressed brow at that and stepped aside, beckoning Venom to come in, which he promptly did while he took off his helmet.

Alpha watched him let himself fall on his also stolen from a dumbster on an upscale planet leather lounge chair. „Who pissed in your morning caf?“ he finally asked when he figured that Venom wasn‘t in the mood to participate in a bit of wiord diarrhea.

„That-„ he started, then his face contorted into an expression of pure and utter disgust „-KING“. Alpha kept his spot next to the closed door and watched Venom go through all five stages of grief in rapid sucession.

„He‘s the most disgusting, arrogant, self absorbed and narcissistic piece of politician shit out there“ he finally spat out while laying his right arm over his face, and then letting out a deeply enraged and tired groan. Still marinating in his dark corner by the door, Alpha snorted and then broke out into a cackle.

Venom didnt take too kindly to his former instructor‘s amusement at his horrible experience and glared at him from under his slightly lifted arm. „If you‘d have been in my shoes or know half of the shit that dude pulled, you‘d be planning a planet wide wipe out contingency plan, not laugh at my misery.“

„alright, hit me with it“ Alpha countered as he stalked over to his neatly piled armor in the other corner. Might as well get ready, he did sleep enough for the next 5 rotations anyways.

For the next 40 minutes, he‘d be slowly putting on his armor piece by piece, while listening to Venom‘s descriptions of the day‘s happenings, sometimes stopping and mulling over whatever outrageously creative insult the king used against the troops before grunting displeased and proceeding with his armor.

Alpha by proxy already held a grudge against the king but when Venom started to unpack his treatment of their Jedi, Alpha decided to put the man on his shitlist‘s top ten. Mysogony was strong and raging in all shapes and forms in this galaxy, and yet this bastard took the kiffing cake in all categories of assholery.

„The general didnt really speak much, leaving the droid to translate, but at one point the guy apparently insulted one of the boys and she wasnt having none of it so she replied to him in Korrinian. You should have seen his change in character when he heard her speak his language. He did a full 180, turning into a complete Simp, it was disgusting“ Venom has put himself hanging over the chair on his head at this point while he recounted the day.

Alpha tensed at that, he only had to add his blasters and bucket to his armor and he was fully dressed.

„He had her drink some wine and had servants bring snacks and then he dragged her to the gardens and she went, something about keeping him occupied and away from the troops while they unloadede all the cargo.“ He vaguely gestured in the air in front of him as he was describing the happenings. The captain turned his back to Venom and checked his guns, he felt very uneasy with this revelation. If only he were there, he would‘ve saved her and the troops from that slimey worm by keeping him at the other end of his DC17‘s barrel.

Venom sighed „and then he dragged her to the gardens, going round and round and round and roooound again with her through the gardens…“ he paused his description for a moment, then contiued „The general seemed to go pale by the 15th round and I called it quits. I told them there was an emergency and we had to leave immediately. The bastard had the nerve to argue but I got us out of there eventually and here we are, a mere moment later than planned“ the Commander finally finished his story and turned to look at Alpha who was still standing there with his back turned to him.

„Is she alright?“ Alpha asked quietly.

„She was pale, elliviated heart rate, slightly above average body temperature and said she felt sligjly ill but she said she was gonna be fine after a nap. Something Something, a plant in the gardens being mildly poisonous to her, blah blah, you know the drill“. He whipped around and stared at Venom in disbelief.

„Poisonous?! And you didnt drag her to the med bay???“ The underlying panick in Alpha‘s tone was clear to both.

The commander sighed for the 1000th time in the last hour „Relaaaax, she‘s gonna be fine. Just a little stomach bug. She wasn‘t crawling back to her quaters.“

„Besides, you know she‘s got better self preservation skills than all Jedii combined.“ That did finally calm Alpha‘s nerves enough to put a wellfare check on his Jedi on the list but not top priority. Besides, she probably would not want her nap to be disturbed to recover more quickly.

Alpha siged and relaxed a bit „Yeah that is true“ he said and turned to the door. „Are you taking a break too? I‘ll take over rounds. Got enough sleep to last me the next week.“ Before he left the room he turned to Venom again, waiting for a response „Sure, if you‘re offering. I‘ll see you later then.“

Alpha nodded with an affirmative grunt and turned to leave „Tell our general I said hi.“ Venom called after his former instructor who just lifted his arm and flipped him off over his shoulder before the door closed again.

Alpha spent the next three hours doing inspections, following up on reports and checking the new incoming reports before he turned his attention to the next point on his list, his Jedi.

As he made his way down to her quarters, he noticed Venom‘s response from their earlier chat. Alpha clicked on the chat and saw that Venom had sent him a video of the General. He opened the link and pressed play, the audio playing in his bucket while the video flickered to life. There was sound of commotions in the background, probably the unloading of the cargo, while the video fixated on the Jedi walking next to the King through the gardens, a good 50 feet away. You could see the King babble on, his Jedi holding a gentle smile but an umistakable air of deathly annoyance radiating off of her as she trudged along, following the tall gangly man into the sad excuse of a garden, looks more like a bloody jungle to me, thought Alpha as he held a smug smile.

He closed the video, ready to put away his pad, when he noticed another video sent by Venom.

We‘re on our way back, General aint looking too peachy.

He frowned at that, of course he knew she apparently didnt feel to well but the video of her did paint a much more worrying picture of her well being than he previously anticipated.

The video showed her sitting in the bomber, she had her eyes closed and head slightly lowered. Her eyebrows were knitted together in pain, worry- well whatever it was, it wasnt good and Alpha did not like it one bit. He could make out some beads of sweat and she was chewing on her lower lip.

Oh I am having Venom‘s head on a spear if this turns out to be an emergency. He closed his pad and continued his way down the corridor with more urgency than before.

His Jedi enjoyed solitude every now and then and chose her quarters to be in a more remote part of the ship. When his legs finally carried him to her door, he stopped for a moment, worry flooding his mind again. Was she alright? Was she throwing up? Maybe she already developped a deadly fever and there was no hope? Maybe…she already died?

Alpha shook the thoughts from his mind and briskly knocked two times, then waited a few seconds and knocked once again. But there was no answer. He waited what felt like years, then knocked again. But again, no answer.

So he decided to do the next best thing and entered the pin code into the door lock. The door opened with a hiss and he was greeted with an empty room. As he entered, he noticed the bed was disturbed, at least she‘s not dead.. and looks like she took that nap. There were clothes scattered around the floor and he coud make out the sound of the shower running.

He called out her name once, loud and clear. She heard him call out to her from the shower before, she definitely must‘ve heard him now too. But no response came, not a word, not even a whimper or a breath. the dreadful feeling that had been festering in his chest since he saw them leave to the mission now made itself unmistakenly known and he took off his bucket, the hiss of the seal comming off being alltogether too loud for the quiet room. He placed his helmet down on her dining table (This one was a standart of the GAR, no stolen garbage here) and made his way over to the shower as he called her name a second time, this time his voice was unfiltered and un-modulated, however he still got no response.

The door was wide open to the fresher, he hesitated for a moment as his mind conjured all kinds of horrendous immages of his Jedi suffering or already having succumbed to the poison before he once more shrugged them off and stepped around the corner and into the door frame.

For a moment he felt panic course through his veins as he was unable to see her, but the feeling quickly vanished when he spotted her naked form sitting in the corner of her shower, her eyes staring expressionless into the floor in front of her feet with her knees pulled up to her chest, as the water was trickling onto her.

He sighed in relief, glad to see her alive and well, but the panic came rushing back when he paid more attention her rigid stare. His Jedi was not one to ignore his presence, no matter her mood or the circumstances, especially not when she was sitting in the shower with him staring her down.

For a third time he tried calling her name, and she did seem to hear and slightly react to him, going by the small twitch of her lip, but she stayed otherwise still and unmoving. Alpha‘s nerves were close to snapping in half at this point and he took two large strides, crouched down in front of her and said her name again.

„Are you alright?“ he asked. Again, she heard him, but she did not move, did not speak, nothing. Maybe the poison caused her to space out? Some kind of hallucinogenic? He waved a hand in front of her face, hoping to get her attention that way. For the first few seconds, she did not react, but then she finally lifted her head and looked at him with that same blank stare.

He was used to her unreadable blank expression but this whole business was odd, and very suspicious. But if she was on a trip right now, he needed to make sure she would get through it as comfortably as possible.

„Do you know where you are?“ he asked in a much more quiet voice, trying to sound gentle, emphasis on trying. She stared at him a few seconds, still holding eye contact, then slowly nodded. „Good“ he whispered, „and do you know who you are?“. It felt like forever before she nodded again, but he believed her. Maybe the posion is slowing down her reaction time, he theorized silently before asking another question.

He dreaded the answer, worried it might be not what he wanted but he had to know.

„Are you hurt?“

The words were barely a whisper and the time stretched painfully as he waited for a response. He watched her face, her eyes, the blank expression suddenly sparking to life and he feared his worries might come true. Suddenly though, she tore her gaze away from his and looked to her feet again and slowly lifted her shoulder.

Unsure

Panic flooded Alpha‘s mind, his gaze scanning her body and the floor around her for any indication of an injury, then it occured to him.

She‘s unsure if she‘s hurt?

How was he supposed to react to THAT ? Meanwhile she was still idly staring into space.

„You don‘t know?“ he asked baffled and she nodded, this time reacting a lot quicker. So no reaction interfering poison then.

Before Alpha could ask his next question though, he heard a small whimper. His eyes immediately fixated her face again and he tried to read her expression for any sort of information. Her jaw was slightly quivering, she‘s upset, and her eyes, they held such a profound look of desperation, were her eyes always that glossy?

No,

No she‘s about to cry

And if he thought his system might be going into panic mode before, he was certain it was going now. Kiff, he thought he might suffer an aneurysm. Never before did he see his Jedi so desperate before, let alone this close to tears.

he didnt know what to do, he wasnt trained in emotional support, he barely knew how to deal with his own emotions, let alone with those of others!

It took him what felt like hours to pull himself out of his panic attack before he managed to scream at his mind to spit out a constipated „Where are you hurt?“. When she didnt answer, but a first tear started rolling down her cheek, he panicked even more.

He, as gently as he could, put a hand on her shoulder and grabbed with his other hand her right hand that was still slung around her legs, keeping her in a small ball of misery.

„What happend? Is there anything I can do?“ by now he was desperate too, for any way to help console his Jedi and it was clear in his voice, „please, tell me what I should do..“.

That last part seemingly caught her attention again, as she snapped her head around and stared at his eyes again, this time not a blank look at all, but one akin of a tooka ready to scramble away in fear. Alpha‘s mind raced again, confusion flooding his thoughts.

Is she scared? What did that King do to her?! and with that, a burning rage filled him, oh that bastard was no longer top ten, he was number one on his shitlist.

But before he could get up, take the next best ship down to the planet and skin the bastard king alive, she returned the hold on her hand and grabbed his vambrace and cestplate. He could feel the force flowing through him, but it wasnt the usual calming sensation he knew. It was… chaotic. Panic and content, despair and happiness, all emotions seemed to go through him, conveyed by her through the force, at once.

She looked at him with more panic now, the marks of tears rolling down her cheek somewhat visible and the force feeling like a throusand little needle jabs.

„Stay“ she managed to whimper and gripped onto him even more tightly. Alpha took a deep breath „Okay, I‘ll stay“, he told her and placed his hands around hers. It seemed to do the trick and the look of panic left her eyes again, making room for confusion.

Again he tried to pry for more information „What‘s going on?“, and this time he didnt have to wait too long for an answer.

„T‘ hurts“ she murmured and leaned onto him, resting her head on his chestplate. Alpha felt another wave of the force run through him, it wasn‘t as panicked or desperate as before, it all around felt more.. confused. For a moment he stayed rigid, then slowly put his arms around her and pulled her more into his embrace.

Her breathing became more heavy, he could feel her heart rate increase too and her skin felt abalze.

„Do you know what‘s going on?“ She shook her head to that and remained quiet.

Alpha felt restless. The best course of action would be to..

„I‘m going to bring you to the Medbay, alright?“, but before he even finished the sentence he felt that familiar spike of panic, so no med bay for her then, he figured.

She pulled herself out of his embrace and pulled herself upright on her knees. It was only now that Alpha was made aware of how undressed she was. It wasn‘t the first time he saw her naked but it was the first time having her so up close and personal when she was naked.

Alpha would be lying if he said he did not find her attractive, there was not a man on the ship that would disagree with that sentiment anyways. But still, he wasnt too sure what he should make of this new discovered awareness.

All the while she watched him, with her big doe eyes, but with an eerie sharpness to her gaze. She knew, she felt his conflict and he knew as well. She edged closer to him, trailing her slightly shaking arms to rest on his shoulders, still fixating him with her stare. And Alpha let her, he watched her come closer, letting his hands fall to her side.

The initial discomfort of his revelation was washed away by curiosity, though there still was a pestering voice in the back of his head screaming at him to get a grip, that this was not normal, that he needed to figure out what was going on first, and entertain his curiosity second. But his Jedi‘s equally curious emotions he felt through the force were too enticing, so he watched her.

She got closer to him when she was sure she had him watching her and her alone, still staring into his eyes with a barely noticeable glint of desperation. They eventually were close enough to be sharing their breath, mere inches from each others faces, when his Jedi whispered, barely audible through the rushing sound of the running water of the shower.

„Help me“ her eyes finally broke their fixating gaze on him and began roaming over his face.

Alpha watched her closely as she took a trembling hand and started tracing his facial features. First his jaw, then his cheeck and eyebrows, then his nose and finally, ghosting over his lips. She was breathing hard still, the force felt frayed, compared to her usual strong transmission (?). At this point she had moved her body to be almost touching his plastroids, she was so incredibly close and Alpha could feel not only his excitement rise, but hers too.

„How?“ he finally whispered back. It seemed to be the reply she was hoping for, going by the brilliant smile she showed him as she began tracing her fingers from his lips, down to his chin and neck, to his shoulder and all the way down to his hand on her hip, before she softly took his wrist and began guiding his hand.

Alpha watched her intently, her eyes, her lips, every small detail on her face, as she guided his hand lower. She had a more clear desperate look in her eyes, a beautiful glow to her skin, and some blue freckles too and-

In an instant, Alpha‘s eyes narrowed and he resisted all movements. She snapped her eyes back up to his and watched him.

„s wrong?“ she spoke between more laboured breaths and released his hand. It seemed by the way the force felt to smooth its frayed edges again, she came back to reality too, which subsequently left her entire body shaking in exhaustion.

„You got blue freckles“ Alpha stated blankly. His Jedi, through the drowsyness and exhaustion, blinked in surpirse and searched his eyes. He gave her a moment but when she seemed to have trouble catching on, he raised one brow and looked at her sceptically.

He brought a hand to her face, smoothed it over said „freckles“ and watched them trickle down her face with the help of the still running shower.

„You didnt have blue freckles on your face this morning“ he said, continuing to gently rub away her freckles „and they are not water proof“.

He watched her intently, as her eyes once again began to look more desperate. His Jedi nodded in acknowledgement after a few seconds and lowered her gaze.

„I see“, she stated before she began sobbing quietly. Immediately, Alpha pulled her closer to him and ran a -what he hoped to be- soothing hand over her back. Whatever interpretational support he had through the force previously, was causing him a major headache now with its feedback, subsequently forcing him to suffer through part of her emotions and pains alongside her as well.

Alpha was torn. He was quite certain of what plagued his Jedi, and he knew there was no cure but to wait for the affects to vanish in the following hours. And he also knew how painful it could be, from his own experience. But this would most certainly ruin their friendship, one of the few things he had going for himself in his life, and not something he would ever want to give up.

She was sobbing more violently now with the dread of having to suffer through this agony for the comming hours, Alpha‘s presence being little help in consoling her.

„Please help“

Alpha blinked, as he stared at the fresher‘s wall, his Jedi tucked into his arms and her head buried in his chest. For a moment he thought his own mind made up the sound but then again.

„Please, Alpha… Please help me“

Her voice was so weak, she barely managed to chocke out her beg through all the crying and Alpha‘s heart shattered. His conflict slowly resolved itself as he watched her suffer in his arms, what good was his friendship with her if he would just willingly sit by and watch her sufffer.

„It hurts so much“

And with those last words, his resolve was broken. He breathed a heavy sigh and slightly adjusted his hold on her for her to be more comfortable against his plastroid armor. If he was gonna do this, he had to be sure, though.

„Do you understand what you‘re asking of me?“ he asked her in a clear tone, there was no pressure to his question.

„Yes“ she breathed almost immediately, but a moment later she spoke again „No, wait“.

She gently pushed herself off of Alpha and looked at him with a worried look. „I don‘t want to make you feel obligated. You can leave now, if you wish to not be involved with me… in.. that kind of way. I will be fine, I can manage“. it seemed to take her allher strength to get these words out.

At that Alpha snorted, her eyes grew wide in surprise „Yeah no, you definitely will not be fine and I‘m certainly not gonna leave my Jedi to be looked after by some two rotation old shiny fresh out of the tube.“ The tought alone made Alpha‘s blood curdle and he looked at her hard. „Just tell me what you want me to do and I‘ll do it.“ Her eyes went even more wide at Alpha‘s statement but she nodded quickly.

Truth be told, he did fantasize about such an encounter on a hand full of occasions, but he was always quick to shut them down. He knew it was only natural for him to react to her in such a way, but there was no need to entertain a thought that will never come to be, but oh how he regretted that now. He was entirely overwhelmed and he could not help but think that those fantasies might‘ve helped him deal with this situation better.

His Jedi still stared at him with wide eyes, she did not move an inch and the look in her eyes made it clear to Alpha, that she was horribly lost. „Did you ever…“ He trailed off, not too sure how to ask her if she ever engaged in intercourse.

The way her eyes flickered in panic told him all he needed to know.

„No, I… just never found the right person…“ she quietly screeched out and looked away, her face growing as red as an alderaani tomato. Alpha sighed somewhat relieved and drew her closer to him. „It‘s fine, I‘ll help. Just tell me when you want me to stop, alright?“

She nodded more enthusiastically and put her arms around his neck again, resuming her previous observation of his features. He felt the force creep through him again, this time less frayed. Alpha was glad she didnt ask any questions and busied herself with her task, she didn‘t have to know how Alpha had his first few encounters in some shaby back alley on the lower levels of Couruscant.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when she lightly tugged at his right wrist again, she was much more hesitant and weak now than she was before. Alpha pulled his wrist from her grasp and a soft whine left her parted lips before she shot him a confused look. He leaned down next to her ear and proceeded to take off the gloves behind her back.

„Just a moment, it‘ll be more comfortable for you this way.“ he could feel her shudder but she didnt move away, instead creeping closer and leaning herself onto him, nudging his face into her neck.

Alpha took the hint and started to slowly run his freed hands up and down her back, over her shoulder and to the small of her back. A soft moan escaped her as she melted more into him. Alpha could feel how hot she was under his touch, a stark contrast to the cold water in which they both were fully drenched in by now. He felt how strong her heart hammered against her ribcage, how hard she grasped for air.

It didn‘t take long before she was squirming in his embrace however. The force felt agitated and impatient, and Alpha had a good guess what was bothering her.

„More?“ he muttered to her and she eagerly nodded in response

A breathy „mhm“ was all she managed as she tried to get more, more of whatever it was she was yearning for. Alpha did as she asked and let his hands roam a bit more. With every caressing touch he would let his hand roam further down along her back untill he brushed over her bum and down her thigh.

His Jedi was hanging onto him, burried in his frame and breathing heavily. He wasnt too sure if she was alright with this direction but before doubt could infest him, she let another wave of the force wash through him. It was tingly and happy, yet desperate and impatient. He took this as a yes an decided to take it up a notch. His hands started roaming her thighs and bum again before he took a handfull in each and squeezed her ass - as gently as he could but firm enough to catch her off guard.

Immediately her hands gripped his shoulders on either side as she but down on her lower lip. She whimpered harshly before reining herself in again and stared at him again with those big doey eyes. There was no panic in her eyes or the force so he took this as his go ahead. He still had a firm grip on her behind and took the opportunity to arrange them in a more… comfortabe position, then unlatched his chestplate and took off one of his shoulder plates and thew it at the shower‘s button. The water finally stopped and Alpha turned his attentin back to his Jedi who had found a new occupation by running her hands over his now unarmored chest and shoulders.

Alpha was now kneeling down with her straddling his lap. He let his hands roam again, but returning to her bum every now and then for a grab. His Jedi seemed more calm, slinging her arms around his neck and nuzzling him occasionally. But the calm didnt last, before she grew irritated again. She called his name, the weakness still clouding her senses but she seemed more daring, as she started squirming again, untill she sealed herself to him in a tight embrace, placing herself directly on his codpiece.

Her head lifted itself from his shoulder, keeping her face at minimal distance to his as she looked at him expectantly. Alpha searched her eyes for any sign of doubt but before he could conclude his search, she started grinding up on him. A deep sigh left her lips as she tilted her head back and closed her eyes.

He let her do as she pleased, holding her steady and close to him. When she looked at him again, she grabbed the back of his neck and began threading her fingers through his hair, closed her eyes and leaned her forehead on his. For a moment, he closed his eyes too, relishing the feeling of her pressed up against him.

Alpha felt her grow more exhausted again, she could barely cling onto him as she tried to reach her peak but her body was failing her. Her right hand left his shoulder, trailing down her chest and belly to her source of agony but Alpha grabbed her hand before she could help herself.

„I‘ll take care of you, you just hold onto me, okay?“ he spoke softly to her. She felt so frail in his arms at that moment, as she nodded and grabbed onto his blacks again with both shaking hands. He didnt waste much time, seeing how desperate she was, and let his free hand glide down between them. His right arm had snaked around her waist to keep her secure and he tried soothing her by letting his fingers trail over her shoulder blade, while the left hand slid down over her belly button and lower untill his fingers curved along the form of her sex (Because any other word freaks me out too much).

Her breath hitched as her body immediately reacted to the change in friction and Alpha watched as a ray of emotions passed over her face and through the force before she started grinding onhim again.

Quiet mewls echoed through the fresher as she moved her body into his hand with new found vigor. Her eyes were still closed, forehead still resting on his, as she once again snaked one hand into his hair, this time grabbing him more desperately.

Alpha watched her for a moment, helping herself, before joining her efforts and experimentally nudged his thumb over her nub (Again, leave me alone, idk how to smut okay). Her reaction was immediate as she threw her head back and let out a breathy moan. She pushed herself down onto his hand and Alpha took the opportunity and stroked her again with his thumb.

Everything around them seemed to go blurry, Alpha kept his gaze fixated on his Jedi as she relished in the friction he provided her. She was beautiful beyond compare and even in her dishiveled state, she had an etheral presence. Alpha‘s eyes were glued. to her, he couldnt look away, he wouldnt. And when she brought her head up again and returned his gaze, everything else vanished.

Her movements slowed down and her focus was fixated on him alone. A shakey hand glided up from his shoulder to cup his face and her eyes sparkled with something so brilliant, something Alpha has never seen before. Again he felt the familiar touch of the force, trying to convey how she felt, she probably saw his confusion, and Alpha was left stunned at the sheer brilliance of her adoration, her adoration for him.

But the moment did not last long, the force twisted and turned sour and her expression soon followed, contorting into one of pain. Alpha decided he could relish in this revelation later, he had more pressing matters to attend and tightened his grip on her again while gentily beginning a circular motion.

Her sudden gasp did not go unnoticed but Alpha did not bother acknowledging it. Within moments she regained focus and began moving with him, and with that, Alpha decided to increase his measures, handling her more roughly and teasing her entrance with his middle finger.

Her breathing became more ragged and she clung to him even more as he continued to increase speed and pressure.

„Yes, Alpha.. please.. more“ she whispered in his ear „I want more..!“

So he did as told.

While he continued to pleasure her with his left hand (????), and his right hand busied itself with her bum and with keeping her safely lodged to his chest, he plotted to make use of his mouth too and started nuzzling his 5o‘cklock shadow from the base of her neck, up to her cheek before returning to her neck‘s junction and placing a small kiss here, a little bite there. He believed she enjoyed it, going by the way she grabbed him more tightly, bared her neck to him more for better access and the little moans she spilled, that accompanied his kisses.

Alpha was having too much fun with this, how easily he could please her. So he took it a step further and promptly slipped his finger into her entrance while he left a particularly bruising hickey on her neck. She did not react how expected though, but after an initial moan of surprise took full advantage to the newly granted pleasure.

She was gaining her strength back and no longer struggling as much, but using every opportunity Alpha offered to her and moved with him to reach her end. She was close, he knew, so he increased his efforts and slipped another finger into her heat.

The added fricktion was praised with more soft moans as she lifted herself more onto her knees and subsequently pushed down harder onto his fingers. Alpha matched her movements and guided her with his right hand, holding her at her waist with a solid grip.

Words of affirmation and sounds of pleasure tumbled from her lips as they both chased her release, her eyes closed through it all untill something changed and she tore her eyes wide open to look at him with her doe eyes.

„Alpha I‘m…“ her words failed her but he didnt have to hear them to know what was comming.

„I know“ he whispered into her ear as he buried his face in her neck again, but it all came crashing down far more quickly than expected. Before he knew it her walls quenched around his fingers and she let out a soft cry, her hands trying to find more purchase on him as she laid her head on his shoulder. He kept going, even through her peak, allowing her to ride out her high as she followed his lead, slowing down her hips‘ movements before comming to an exhausted halt.

His Jedi was breathing heavily, head still resting on his shoulder, the force felt like it was floating around him like a thousand little butterflies. He slowly pulled out his hand from underneath her, ignoring her almost inaudiable whimper and the slick sticking to him and rested his hand on her still trembling hips. When her breathing finally had slowed, he cleared his throat, causing her to perk up and lift her head off of his shoulder a bit.

„We should get you cleaned up, the longer that aphrodisiac is on you, the harder this will be on you.“ he could feel her nodd at that, so he heaved himself and her in his arms up to stand, before gently letting her stand on her own. Her legs were still shaking though, which left her almost falling to the floor again, werent it for Alpha‘s quick reflexes as he grabbed her by the hips again to steady her.

She was situated with her back to him, bracing herself against her shower wall to keep upright and his hands resting at her sides. If anyone would‘ve walked in on this, well.. it would‘ve been just as compromising as their previous position.

Alpha had to shake the thought from his mind, but it only served to draw his attention even more to their positioning. Instead of focusing more on how her ass was pushing up against his very tight feeling codpiece, he redirected his attention to his current gaol: Wash the damn poison off of his Jedi and THEN continue to deal with the consequences.

So he proceeded to turn on the shower, thoroughly drenching both of them before gently swipe his hand down her back in an effort to remove any remaining pollen. A bunch of them were stuck in her hair though and any effort of removing them was in vain. In the mean time, his Jedi was able to regain enough self control and grabbed the bottle of shampoo, which she promptly handed to him.

Wordlessly he put a generous amount on her head and began massaging her scalp. She leaned back into him, fully bracing her standing weight against him as she enjoyed the treatment and smiled with peacefully closed eyes and her head resting on his chest. Alpha looked down on her as he continued his task, his heart singing with content at her peacefull expression, but his own mind was quick to betray him, as he noticed not only the hickeys he left along her neck but further down, her chest.

Alpha always considered himself an Ass type of man, but now, he wasnt too sure anymore. The more he stared at her mounds and perky nipples, the more he yearned to touch and fondle them. He knew that, given the circumstances, he could fulfull that yearning but as his eyes wandered to per peaceful expression again, he put an extra short leash on himself, before murmuring to her ear an instruction to turn around.

Her eyes slowly opened and looked at him as she wordlessly followed his instructions and he began to scrub down her arms, back and sides. She was quick to melt into his form however, getting the shampoo on his blacks as well.

„You missed a spot“ was the first thing she said, when she noticed how he respectfully evaded her bum and giggled when her Captain went stiff for a brief second.

„Oh? Where?“ he asked, feigning ignorance, and she grabbed his arm, putting it to her bum „Here“.

Alpha thought to entertain her humerous mood and traveled a few inches up from where she guided his hand to. „Here?“ he asked again, and she giggled at that „no, lower“. So he inched his hand lower again, „Better?“, „no“, „Lower?“, she nodded and he moved. He asked again, „Better?“ and she shook her head again, a quiet giggle audible.

Finally, he placed both his hands on her cheeks and squeezed gently. „How about now?“ he asked one more time, and she nodded affirmingly into his chest giggling again.

„You still missed a spot“ she said again after a brief moment of silence, as Alpha finished rinsing off the soap from her back. This time she pushed herself from him to look at him, Alpha looked back and watched, as she turned around in his arms, pressing her back into his chest again.

Oh force help him, Alpha tried his best to keep a blank stare to his face, but the way she draped one arm around his neck and looked up at him with a FULL VIEW was not making his pants feel any more lose. The water beads on her skin making this whole scene feel like straight out of an adult holo.

She was looking at him intently, a smile tugging at her lips while her hand started going through his now damp hair again. The force danced around him, leaving him with a tingly feeling as if she‘s teasing me. In an instant, Alpha decided to play along her little game and smirked at her. For a moment she blinked, surprised at his change in demeanor, but then, as his hands ran up from her hips to cup her brests, she closed her eyes, held onto his arm with her own and melted into him with a content sigh.

He buried his face in her neck again, gently nuzzling her„That the spot you meant?“ and she replied with a dreamy „mhm“. Now that Alpha was more aware of his own predicament, it made him more susceptible to her actions as well and right now, he was going through an internal crisis.

She felt wonderful against him, everything felt fuzzy and tingly and by the force she was so soft. He wanted more, so much more, but he wasnt too sure if she would need him to help her like that anymore, the worst of it seemed to have passed by now. And besides his body‘s current predicament, there was also that pestering annoyance with his heart.

Alpha felt a pang of disapointment at his revelation, his cynical mind chastising him for even believing that there was a chance. He didnt let his actions mirror his internal conflict but of course his Jedi knew something was off and he knew too, by the way the force twisted around him in confusion. Funny thing, the force… I wonder if she feels me the same way I feel her now.

Her eyes opened and looked up at him again, she was trying to figure him out. But Alpha had other plans. He didnt want to mull over what is, istnt, could or couldnt be at this moment, instead enjoy whatever time he had with her before everything would come crashing down eventually.

He grabbed her brests, rougher, much rougher than before and started kneading and caressing them. She moaned out his name at that and tugged at his hair. He let his hands wander all over her body, if she wanted him to stop, she would tell him, and resumed his nipping, biting and kissing of her neck and shoulder.

But within an instant she snapped out of the pleasuring high he was carrying her to and turned around in his arms. He looked at her a bit dumbfounded, still holding her close to him though as she ran a hand over his chest. Alpha stayed still and watched, her eyes following her hand‘s movement before they migrated over his collar bone, along his neck and finally cradled his face in her hand. Her thumb ran over his cheek as her eyes tried to read him. Alpha resigned to watching her, the way she so gently touched him made his insides feel gooey and he leaned into her touch which granted him a smile from her.

Alpha wanted to scream and hold her as tightly to him as he could, he did not feel such genuine excitement since he was a cadet and Jango offered him and his batchmates a piece of chocolat.

But of course his own mind came crashing through, obliterating whatever pleasant feeling that was growing in him by harshly reminding him of their position, their duty, the war, and everything else.

Again Alpha tried to hide his soured mood but this time, she was the one to orchistrate the distraction. While he was preoccupued with his cynical thoughts, her other hand came up to cradle his face, pulling him down to her and crashing her lips to his.

Her kiss was slow and timid, but Alpha shook the surprise quickly and reciprocated the kiss with more fierce passion, his hands shooting up to hold her face close to him as hers slid down to rest on his chest.

For a moment, they kissed passionately, before he felt her push him gently. He released her from the kiss and let his hands slide back down to rest on her hips as they leaned in to touch their foreheads. She held onto his shoulders, breathing heavily as she started tugging at the fabric of his blacks.

„This is unfair“ whe whined quietly and looked up at him.

For a split second, Alpha stood there, baffled, then barked our a laugh.

„This isnt funny either, stop laughing!“ there was a pout on her face now and if it werent for the playful glimmer in his eyes, Alpha would‘ve fallen to his knees and asked for forgiveness.

Alpha had to stifle his laugh, „What do you want me to do about it?“ he asked with smug smile and raised eyebrow.

His Jedi smiled up at him and tugged at the neck of his shirt. Alpha‘s insides became all gooey again at her sparkling eyes.

„Take it off“ she said, still smiling brightly and batting her eyelashes at him while still tugging at his shirt.

Alpha‘s breath caught in his throat. Sure he knew he‘d be in some kind of stage of undressed by the end of this but he figured it to be more a consequence of action, not an outright demand of his Jedi to take off his gear.

But who was he to deny her anyways, he thought and grinned at her before giving in „Alright“ he answered with a playful tone and let his hands slide from her side to begin unclapsing his armor. Experienced as he was, it didnt take long for him to get rid of the top half of his armor, the pieces falling to the shower‘s floor with a heavy bang each time, untill he ridded himself of his left vambrace, the last remaining piece.

Previously standing to the side and watching him take off his armor, his Jedi creeped her way back into his arms just as he let the vambrace fall to the ground and started tugging at the hem of his shirt while chewing on her bottom lip. Alpha smirked, enjoying how eager his Jedi was to have him undressed, but took pitty at her futile attempts to lift up his shirt and pulled it over his head with one swift move.

Immediately her small cold hands started skimming over his drenched body, tracing his scars and muscles and alpha had to suppress a moan. Oh the things she does to him. His hands found her sides again and started roaming all over her, her eyes shooting up to meet his and he took the opportunity to lean down and kiss her deeply. As she mewled into the kiss he grabbed her ass and she let out a high pitched moan, before grabbing his face, smiling at him and resuming their kiss.

Oh the things she does to him!

Just when Alpha thought his codpiece might just break from his errection, she snaked one hand down, letting her fingertips glide over his chest and abdomen untill she reached his belt and started fumbling with it.

Alpha moaned loudly into the kiss before pulling away and spinning her around again. „Stop it or you‘ll regret it, sweetheart“ he growled as he nibbled at her ear lobe, letting one hand mound her chest, while the other creeped down and between her legs.

First she giggled at his threat, then, after a particularly rough grab of her brests and hard stroke to her heat, she yelped out a moan and braced herself with both arms against the wall. Alpha kept teasing her for a moment as her moans became louder, god how he loved hearing them, before he coundt take it anymore and began grinding on her ass.

She caught on quickly to his at first almost unnoticable movements before she let her left hand wonder down to his and yank it away.

At first caught off guard, Alpha slowed his movements, but when she threw her head back onto his shoulder and looked at her with her doe eyes again, filled with lust, he couldnt supress a growl.

„More, Alpha.“ despite being out of breath, her demand left no room for arguments and Alpha gladly took his unemployed hand to fumble around on his belt, understanding very clearly what she was implying to him. The now familiar feeling of the force tingling around him in agitation filled him with even more of a sense of urgency than his desperately errect Penis (BECAUSE WE CALL IT WHAT IT IS FUCK OFF) already did.

While he kept her occupied with his hand on her chest, she returned the favor by pushing her behind more on him, earning another growl from Alpha who was desperately trying to rid himself of his belt.

Finally the familiar *snap* of his belt mixed with the sound of the running shower and their shared sounds of pleasure, letting relief wash through Alpha, and -going by the force‘s more calm disposition- her as well.

He unlatched his codpiece, letting it fall to the ground with a heavy sigh, before undoing the zip as his Penis sprung free. His Jedi didnt give him much time to adjust though, as she pushed herself even more against him and Alpha took a hold of her hips, supporting her efforts as he let a deep groan emmit from him as she started moving against his errecrion.

As she continued grinding, her movements became more pronounced, more hurried. Alpha, through his high, realized how she stopped momentarily, re positioned herself and contunued rocking her hips, now with his penis squeezed between her trembling thighs and slicked heat. He enjoyed watching her take matters into her own hand (litterally haha) but when she grabbed his arm and guided him in between her legs, and his other to grab her chest, he understood and wordlessly began his work.

He caged her in with his arms, his much bigger frame covering her completely, as he started grinding up on her in a slow but rough pace. His Jedi melted into him, moaning his name and grabbing onto him, wherever she could for support as he kept rocking his hips.

For a moment, she was content with his efforts but when the familiar sensation of a growing orgasm started spreading through her, she became impatient and met Alpha‘s thrusts with her own grinding hips. He didnt take too kindly to her efforts however and stilled her hips with a bruising grip.

He leaned down to her ear and growled. „Do you want this to last more than 30 seconds?“ hearing his gruff tone, she stopped all her squrming and moving and nodded with a small whimper. „Good, then let me take care of you.“ again, she nodded obediently and tried to keep herself still as he losened his vice like grip on her hips and smoothed his hands over her body.

he kept his nose burried in her neck as he slipped his hand in between her folds again and picked up his maddeningly slow pace again. he let his his hands work harder as they groped her chest, caressed her body and pleasured her sex, while he slowly dragged his errection over her folds to ensure he‘d last longer, because by the force, he was so kiffing close already.

His Jedi did a wonderful job, keeping still for him, but she reached out to him through the force and he felt just how desperate she was. It was almost impressing, seeing how rigid she stayed, so he picked up the pace drawing faste circles on her sex, but keeping his gringing to a slow and steady minimum. He felt as her heart beat faster against his hand, her breathing becomming more erratic and her whole body started to shake as her second orgasm ran its course through her body.

She leaned back on him as she enjoyed her bliss, whereas Alpha tried to keep himself from losing it, just by seeing and watching her.

She kept her eyes closed as she held onto his arms and slowed her breath. The room was quiet except for the pitter patter of the still running shower as she sighed in content.

But she wasnt oblibvious to her Captain‘s unfinished business and the thought of his member pressing up to her heat had her mind spinning with unbridled hunger again. Alpha too noticed her change in demeanor and let a breathy moan escape him as she started grinding again.

„What did I say, sweetheart?“ he growled in a warning tone, but she ignored him and continued her assault, only stopping momentarily, as she leaned back to look him in the eyes.

„Take me“ she whispered „and dont hold back“. Her eyes burned with need and lust as she lifted a hand to trace his lips.

It took all strength within him to not completely lose his mind then and there, but he took her word and quickly adjusted their position as he cursed under his breath. She followed his lead, bracing herself against the shower wall and slightly bending over for him. With one hand he kept an iron grip on her hip as he stroked himself with the other, before running his errection along her folds waiting, watching her reaction. She tried pushing herself more against him, but he stopped her with his hold, then leaned over and asked her one last time „Are you sure?“.

„Yes, yes by the force, yes!“ and with those words all his self control went flying out the air lock as he pushed his penis into her, the room filling with the sound of their groans, grabbing both her hips to slowly push into her.

Alpha was glad that, in all places he could have found her, he found her in the shower, as the water that covered them both allowing him to enter her more smoothly. And considering their impressive difference in size, smooth entry was certainly what they needed now.

As he slowly gained inch by inch, both of them moaned and mewled at the extatic feeling. He felt her tremble under his hands, so he began drawing circled with his thumbs on her hips, trying to soothe any discomfort. But as he was 2/3ds buried in her heat, he couldn‘t take it anymore and began pulling out, only to reconquer her inch by inch again. At first his Jedi begged him to not pull out, but when he pushed back in, this time with less hesitation, she threw her head back, yelling out his name in pleasure.

Alpha kept his pace agonizingly slow, stillable to recognize his worry for his Jedi and her well being, but as he desperarely tried to keep his thrusts slow and controlled, she was starting to meet his thrusts.

„Alpha, for force‘s sake, please…“ she begged as a sob escaped her lips, „please“, the desperation clear in her voice. Alpha‘s errection twitched at the sound of his Jedi‘s pleas, his own resolve crumbling and he did as told.

„As you wish, princess“ he whispered into her ear, a shudder running through her body, as he leaned down to her and gradually began thrusting faster, stronger and deeper.

She showered him with words of praise, how good he felt, how strong he was, every word spurring him on to do better, please her more and chasing his own release. At one moment, one of her small hands reached back, flailing to find anything to hold onto, he grabbed it, interwiened their fingers, snaked their arms around her and pulled her closer to his chest.

He began kissing along her neck again, sucking at the already formed hickeys and continued dragging his errection along her tight walls at an increasing speed and ferocity. She kept moaning more praises and pleas but her words became increasingly incoherent, the closer Alpha brought her to her orgasm. He felt pride bubble in his chest and smirked at the thought of making his Jedi Cock Dumb. Oh how he would relish in this memory for all the remainder of his miserable existance.

It didnt take long as her moans became louder, more primal, and somewhere in the jumble of words, Alpha could make out a breathlessly whispered „m‘ close“. He growled, letting her know that he heard her, but it seemed his growling had quite the effect on her as he felt her walls tighten. „You like that?“ he asked, his voice rough from straining „You like hearing me growl?“. She nodded feverishly at that, moaning out some incoherent affirmations to his question and pressed herself more to his chest, a look of delerious bliss on her face as she looked at him through hooded eyelids.

Alpha cursed loudly when he saw her expression and lost all self control, grabbing her hips with bruising force and began pounding into her at a neck breaking speed, burrying his errection all the way into her womb. Only a few thrusts into his mission he felt her walls clench around him, her body shaking more violently as her orgasm flooded her system. Alpha was not far behind, watching her in excasy, sreaming out in overstimulation and pleasure edging him on before thrusting into her sharply once, twice, and finally releasing into her with one final hard thrust.

Both were breathing heavily, grateful for the cool water running over both as they slowly came back to reality. Alpha still held her hips flush against his, but he losened his grip on her and hugged her more gently to him. She lowered her arms from the wall, no longer needing to brace against her Captain‘s dizzying pace and snuck her hands into his. She was extatic, the tingly feeling of the force conveying as much to him and he burried his face in her neck, ghosting his lips over her neck, occasionally planting a soft kiss here and there. He didnt want this to end, holding her in his arms, kissing her and dick burried to the brim in her. He didnt want to return to the harsh reality of his existance, but he knew it was only a question of time. Still he held onto her, not wanting to end the moment and leaving that choice to her.

They both stayed like that, basking in each other‘s presence and enjoying the water gently trickle down their bodies, for what felt like an eternity and a split second alike.

„Alpha?“ her words broke him out of his trance and he hummed in acknowledgement, already dreadding her next words.

„Would you say yes, if I asked you to do it again?“ the tone of her voice was so gentle and sweet, Alpha almost didnt register what she was asking for, but smiled into her skin when he did, leaving a particularly long kiss at her neck and hummed in affirmation.

„Good“ she whispered, melting into his embrace. „Because I will need your help too, I can barely stand“ Alpha‘s face blanched at first but his colour returned when she started giggling. „Sure thing“ he replied finally with a smile of his own.

As they eventually managed to separate from each other, their plan was to shower, properly this time and return to the ajacent bedroom. But of course the pollen still had an affect on his Jedi and it didnt take long for her to be all over him again, making out and drowning in his frame.

Finally, after another round with her back pressed up against the cold shower wall and her legs and arms curled around him as he pounded into her with one hand to her ass and the other threading through her silky hair, they managed to actually get cleaned, Alpha discarding all of his armor and clothes along the way, and migrated to the bedroom. True to his word, Alpha carried his Jedi bridal style and sat her down on her GAR standard issue, not stolen table, as they dried themselves off.

It took Alpha exactly 2 minutes and 32 seconds to dry himself completely, then he returned to the shower to collect and dry off his armor and wrung out his blacks before throwing them over the transperisteel (Glass, idk look it up again to be sure, editor) in a futile attempt at letting them dry up, at least a bit. He didnt want to drag a swamp along when he would have to return to the corridors of the cruizer.

When he stepped back into the bedroom, his Jedi was still perched up on the table, her back turned to him and with a brush in one hand and a bunch of her hair in the other as she violently raked through it.

At first Alpha believed her to be upset or angry, but when he walked closer, she turned around at the sound of his steps, wearing a bright smile with a twinkle in her eyes, and then resumed her assault on her hair.

I just hope that whatever Padawan is bestowed upon her, doesn‘t have long hair, he thought as he kept watching her with more apprehension, worried she might ponce him and try to brush out his unruly, yet thankfully short curls. That is, unless they find out about this. She will be ruined.

Alpha sighed and shook his head at the thought, tired and annoyed of his own mind ruining the playful moment for him. „What is it?“ he took a breath and woke himself from his trance. She was still staring at him, her face neutral now, brush set down and all attention on him. She was reaching out to him through the force, the touch gentle and inviting, come closer. Instinctually, his feet carried him to stand in front of him and she grabbed his hands in hers, still fixating him with her eyes.

Again a sigh left his lips and he shook his head, „Don‘t worry about it“. He tried sounding convincing and forced a smile on his face, but she knew, and so did he. Thankfully though, she understood that he did not wish to speak of it and let it slide, her eyes falling to their intervened hands.

„Will you stay a moment longer?“ she asked, barely above a whisper. He watched her as she played around with his hands in hers, „You must be tired, after all… this…“.

There was a shy smile tugging at her lips as she lifted her gaze to meet his again and he was still watching her intently as she cast her gaze to the side. „I know I certainly am.“ The comment was barely a whisper, but Alpha heard and closed his hands around hers.

„Sure..“ he grumbled, a smile tugging at his lips as he spoke „If that‘s what you wish for“.

A small giggle left her lips as she nodded and looked at him again. „Will you carry me?“ her eyes looked at him with so much hope shining in them, giving his insides that now all too familiar gooey feeling and he nodded before picking her up again, turning on his heel, takng two long strides and putting her down on the bed. Alpha turned around again and went to the small kitchen isle to grab a bottle of water, thinking she would be waiting patiently for him, but when he turned around, she had discarded of her towel, that previously was wrapped around her body, laying on her back, draped like a beautiful statue and looked at him expectantly.

Alpha swallowed but willed his growing errection to stay down as he made his way back to the bed, put the bottle down on the bedside and rolled onto his back as well, unfortunately dropping his towel on the floor as well.

The moment Alpha was lying on his back though, she had already creeped her way into his embrace, laying her head on his arm and curling around him. By instinct, Alpha put his arm around her and interwened their fingers as she put her free hand on his chest, onto a particularly large scar, whose shape she began tracing with her fingertips.

His mind wandered back and forth between the current happenings and what was to happen. Was this a one time thing? Will she be angry with him for not just turning on his heels when he realized what was going on? So many questions swarmed his mind and he tried to rid himself of them every few minutes, focusing his attention on her, and how she felt, lying against him. But he couldn‘t help his mind returning to all these uncertain questions.

Amongst all of them, one in particular infested his thoughts.

Was this real?

Or was it just the pollen?

He had his own run in with a similar kind of pollen a few years ago and knew the unbearable desire it could awake within one‘s heart, he would‘ve not been too surprised that side effects could be temporary affection towards any intercourse engaging partner. It would make sense biologically and chemically, but the possibility tore his heart appart.

Alpha has seen many people die, some he didn‘t know too well, others he hated and those he cared for deeply. But thinking of losing her was unbearable to him now. Funny how I‘m just thinking of this now, he thought as he realized just how attached he was to his Jedi and how much he truly cared for her. Or maybe the pollen are affecting me too… I did touch them, so it‘s possible.

„How did you get this scar, if you don‘t mind me asking?“

He was pulled out of his thoughts and looked at her, her eyes still on the scar and hand tracing around the edges, as he thought of the answer. It was a large scar, the size of his palm with frizzled ends to the scar tissue, one he got after fighting Grievous as he was stabbed with a lightsaber. He was almost done for but saved in the last minute and thanks to the long necks technology and some unfortunate deceased clone‘s donation, he was also fit to serve again, but the Republic kept him from the front lines, damning him to instruct new troops and staying away from most battles, thus how he ended up with his Jedi.

Never thought I‘d be happy thinking about this tin can stabbing me, he thought and then replied to his Jedi with the encounter, keeping things short and simple. When he finished, she hummed in acknowledgement and moved her hand to another scar, running diagonally over his right collar bone.

„And this one?“, again, Alpha answered her, describing how one of his CC trainees accidentaly sliced through his blacks during a lesson in Marksmanship.

She hummed again, then readjusted herself in his arms to lie on her stomach and prepped herself up on her elbows before tracing his face, finally stopping at a scar that ran from the corner of his upper lip to about an inch below his eye.

This time she didnt need to ask as Alpha responded the unspoken question. „Rough landing on Florrum, banged my head against the console.“ he stated simply. For a while she kept her eyes on the scar, tracing it and his lips and then smiled.

„You look handsome with them“ she said quietly, apparently lost in her own mind. A smile tugged at Alpha‘s lips and he lifted his hand to tuck a lose strand of her silky hair behind her ear as she leaned in closer to him, their lips almost touching.

„I would like to say you‘re beautiful“ he whispered, looking at her lips „But words don‘t do you justice.“, he finished his thoughts and looked at her eyes again. Her look was unreadable but he hadnt much time before she closed the distance between them. With all urgency gone, the kiss was slow and sensual. Alpha forced his brain to brand the memory of the feeling of her soft lips agains his rough ones, into it as he moved with her, cradling her face in his palm.

All of a sudden, his Jedi pulled back from him, at which he almost whined, before she threw her leg over him and straddled him. For a brief moment, she ran her hands over his abdomen, over his chest and shoulders and down to his hands again, which seized the hold on her hips again. She returned her path back to his neck and leaned down to kiss him again.

Of course it didn‘t take long before Alpha felt himself getting hard again, his Jedi was quick to notice it too and purpousefully began teasing his errection with her hips. Her efforts quickly bore fruit as Alpha tried to surpress a groan but failed miserably. She couldn‘t help but giggle at his reaction but of course, he wasn‘t one to yield so quickly, so he took a handfull of her ass in each hand and squeezed. With a yelp she jumped, leaning forward which gave Alpha a wonderful view of her brests and a brilliant idea came to his mind as he saw his opportinity and began nibbling, kissing and licking at her chest. Her hands shot up to weave through his curls an take a hold of him as she moaned out his name breathlessly.

For a while they continued as such, Alpha taking care of one brest before focusing his attention on the other while she continued to tease his errection with the guidance of his hands on her behind. This time it all felt different, maybe because it wasn‘t so rushed, not desperate, but Alpha didn‘t care to investigate any further, not when this all felt so peaceful. A second later after his conclusion, she pushed herself up and looked at him with the same undefining stare as she let her hands ghost over his face, and thread though his hair, before leaning down again to capture him in a searing kiss.

Despite the building tension, it was all so very gentle. The kiss, the touching, the feeling, all was gentle and soft (Except his dick, that ish is rock hard, i tell ya). As they continued their kissing, his Jedi let one hand wander down between them before gently ghosting her fingers over his errection and then fully wrapping her small fingers around him as she began to stroke him at a slow pace. Every last coherent thought left his mind, as his sole focus lied on her hands around his hardened Penis and her every move.

She continued stroking him, experimenting with different pressure and movements, but stopped apruptly, letting Alpha crash back down to reality, only to open his eyes and watching her adjust herself to take him again. As much as he cursed out the bastard King before, he couldn‘t help but to think of sending him a thank you post card after this, maybe even a bottle of some courescanti wine.

As she finally had adjusted her body over his and positioned his errection at her entrance, she began a slow descend, letting him fill her up, inch by inch, untill she settled on his hips again, eyes closed, having fully accomodated to his size with a moan.

Alpha just watched the scene unfold in front of him, ready to blow his load just by watching her, as she began running her hands over his body. He let his hands fall from her hips and grabbed her roaming hands, worrying if he didn‘t, he‘ll cum then and there, and interwened their fingers again. She opened her eyes again and squeezed his hands as she began to rock her hips in small circles.

He watched in extacy as she moved, willing, oh so willing to bring them to the release they both desired. Her hair framing her like a brilliant halo, an everpresent smile on her lips and the glistening glow of her slightly sweaty skin. She was beginning to experiment with her hips, rolling them this or that way, to see what kind of reaction she could get from Alpha as he lied there beneath her, growling and moaning at every change.

Eventually, Alpha couldn‘t take it anymore and growled loudly, roughly grabbed her already bruised hips, planted his feet into the mattress and began pounding into her. At the change of pace, she gave an undignified squeak as she lost her balance and slung her arms around his neck as she now laid on his chest, mewling into his neck as she let him bring them over the edge.

Alpha had already begun his thrusting at a high speed but as they both drew closer to their end, he picked up the pace even more before he felt his release wash over him. He continued pounding up into her, releasing his seed once more and tipping her over the edge as well as she moved her hips in sync to his to ride out their orgasms together.

Both of them were still comming down from their high, breathing hard with a pounding heart, when suddenly, from the fresher, Alpha‘s comlink started beeping.

„Dank Farrick“ his Jedi cursed, for the first time no less and he couldn‘t help but laugh at that. He let his grip on her losen as he rolled them both to the side „I have to get that, been M.I.A. for a bit too long“ he told her with an apologetic smile. She shook her head and grabbed his face, kissing him one more time „I know“.

With that, Alpha rolled out of bed and wandered into the fresher to check his comlink. It was an urgency call, and given the fact that Venom was probably still asleep, and his Jedi technically too, he was the next in command. So he went on to qickly freshen up, and pulled on his still slightly damp and cold blacks before gearing up in record time.

He stepped out of the fresher again, all geared up and grabbed his bucket on the table before wandering over to his Jedi, who was observing him from under the blankets.

„Urgency call?“ she asked, the disapointment written across her face.

„Yeah…“ he was hesitant and just as disapointed, but he knew. He knew it was his own fault for letting himself go down the drain and now he wanted to bang his head against the durasteel walls for it.

She nodded at him, the blanket wrapped all around her and pulled up, right under her nose and her eyes looking to the ground.

Alpha didn‘t have the courage to say anything, what was he supposed to say anyways? Thanks for the fuck? At a loss for words and no courrage in his heart, he decided to do the next best thing and pulled on his bucket, turned on his heel and dragged his feet to her door. He hesitated for a moment at the door, she reached out to him through the force again, filled with endless sadness, and Alpha took this as his cue to get out, vanishing into the corridors of the cruizer to return to his miserable existance.

It has been four days since the events took place and Alpha was currently lying in his cot and trying to sleep. But his efforts amounted to nothing but a hateful stare at the ceiling and a massive hard-on at the memories that have been running through Alpha‘s mind in a perma-loop for the last 4 days. Thanks to some Seppie attack on a close by system, his Jedi was off the cruizer for most of the time and he had yet to cross her path. He did also put in an effort to miss the reports, excusing himself to Venom about some Rookie Training or whatever else came to his mind that would work as a poor excuse. Thankfully, Venom didn‘t press his former instructor about it and just told him, he‘d let the Jedi know.

A chime of his comlink pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked at the flimsy thing, lying on his table as it kept chiming with the threat of an incomming call.

What bastard is pestering me in the middle of the night? he thought, as he begrudgingly got up and wandered over to his table.

Alpha-77 ‚Fordo‘

Alpha moaned when he remembered his weekly call with his fellow Alpha ARC and grabbed the comlink before migrating back to his cot and picking up the call.

„You bastard, you didn‘t call me yesterday, I thought the seppies finally got you only to find out through Fox of all brothers that you‘re still alive and kicking! I almost had a Heart Attack you dikut!“ Alpha waited for his brother to finish his rant, just sighing in resignation every now and then before returning the greeting.

„Well hello to you as well“ he grumbled before Fordo picked up his guilt tripping and gaslighting again.

For a while he kept going but then suddenly he stopped.

„What‘s on your mind, brother?“ he asked, his tone much too serious for Alpha‘s liking. „Gee you sound like you expect me to confess to a murder, who pissed in your coffee?“ he snapped back as he laid back down on his mattress.

„Don‘t try to divert from my question. What‘s going on? You didn‘t send me one com, not even an insult or a picture of whatever ugly ass thing you found, and telling me you named it after me.“

„So naming an ugly ass thing now isnt insulting to you?“ Alpha tried his luck again, sharing his thoughts and feelings certainly wasnt on his to do list.

He could hear a sigh on the other end of the comm „If you don‘t want to tell me that‘s fine, but you should talk about your problems, and even if it‘s to just trauma dump. That Jedi of yours, she seems nice enough, I‘m sure she‘d be more than happy to help ya.“

The comm stayed silent for a while, Alpha could already feel a tension headache forming „That‘s exactly the problem…“ he spoke barely above a whisper, but the disapointment, anger and frustration at the whole ordeal were clear in his voice.

„What did the Jedi do?“ Fordo‘s voice was as sharp as a knife „She has a name, you know..“ Alpha replied, more tired than angry now „and she didn‘t do anything.. well kinda... argh… it‘s not her fault either way though.“

And so he began his story telling. From the planned aid, to the garden, the talk with Venom at his return, and everything from the moment he stepped into her room to the moment he left, though he kept that part as vague as possible.

„You had sex with her?“ Fordo finally asked when all was said and Alpha couldn‘t help but sight for what felt like the 100th time. „Yes, I had sex with her…“ he replied dejected „Then why do you sound so depressed, shouldn‘t you be leaping around like a baby tooka in joy? I mean you fucked the woman of your dreams.“ Alpha felt like he could see Fordo‘s smug look through the force and groaned, „She‘s not my drea-„ he cut himself off, electing to not argue with his brother and instead focus on the cause of his sour mood. „The pollen, you bastard“ he finally said irritated.

„She was high on an aphrodisiac pollen and just needed someone to fuck it out of her system, that‘s all..“ Alpha was bitter and angry, not at her, it wasn‘t her fault, but at himself and the universe for playing such a cruel game with him.

„There was no real emotion involved, just…sex“ his statement came out much more quiet, but he didnt have the energy to argue anymore. „How do you know?“ Fordo asked, but Alpha could only sigh again in irritation.

„When we were done and I was about to walk out the door, she.. felt sad.“

„And you know this becauseee……?“

„Force bond thingy, don‘t ask, I got no clue… Only that she can convey her feelings to me through the force or whatever“

„Involuntarily?“

„no, only voluntary… I think.“

The com stayed quiet for a moment before Fordo spoke again. „And you don‘t think she purpousefully conveyed to you that she was sad because you were leaving?“

Alpha‘s reply was quick and very harsh, „Why should she?“

Another sigh came from his com „You bastard just told me she looked at you with twinkle stars in her eyes before you fucked her brains out, for being one of the best, you sure are dumb as shit right now.“

Fordo always had a way of getting through to Alpha with harsh words and insults but right now he was about ready to rip his brother‘s head clean off.

„Because, as I just told you, she was high as fuck!“ he finally snapped at Fordo, „And not because of my dick!“

„Well then if you check the bloody plant‘s affects, you‘ll have your force damned answer!“ Fordo snapped back at him with the same harsh tone „Grow a damn pair since you clearly lost your old one then talk to her about this and stop bitching around!“ and with that Fordo hung up on him, before he could get out another word.

Alpha was a bit dumbfounded at his brother‘s outburst and too damn proud to admit that he had a good point, nonetheless he followed up on the topic.

It didnt take Alpha too long before he found what he was looking for. The description of blue sex pollen was rather striking, even in a galaxy as strange as theirs. As he read through the effects of the plant he was pretty surprised with what he found.

Not only were the effects only there for a brief time, about 4 hours at most, but the pollen did not cause any emotional change towards any partner. Alpha was still in the middle of the Holo entry when he got an alert to his comlink and so he proceeded to get ready, projecting the site onto his HUD. He continued going through the document as he made his way down the halls and after finishing his read, started reconstructing the events of that day. By all accounts, she must‘ve been in the 4th hour of contact with the pollen, so the effects were minimal. But Alpha couldnt believe that, given how genuinely in pain she was.

The intensity of the reaction might vary, according to the person‘s body weight. Those of lower weight might experience greater effects than those of a higher weight. The duration does not change much, however, usually lasting up to 4 hours.

„Well I‘ll be damned..“ Alpha muttered to himself. This revelation put the whole ordeal in an entirely new light, one in his favor. But still, his cynical mind did not allow him any resolve. At the end of the day, she‘s still a Jedi and on top of that I probably fucked up, considering I avoided her like the pague.

With a heavy sigh, Alpha reached his destination and opened the door to the central command room.

The first thing he noticed was her and his heart stopped beating, before resuming so frantically. She stood with her back to him, wearing her normal white flowy attire with her hair in a lose braid falling down her back. Venom stood next to her, bucket still on but even so, Alpha could feel the perplexed look on his protegee‘s face at his appearance. Truth be told, Alpha didn‘t even check the list of present officers, too engrossed in his search for information.

He didn‘t feel as on edge as he thought he would, especially with the revelations of the past 30 minutes. He walked into the room, taking his spot next to his Jedi as she was still discussing the ongoing rebuilding efforts with her council. Alpha didn‘t pay much mind to it all either, still reading through the paper for a second time now, worried the words might‘ve changed in the last 20 seconds he didnt look at them, but of course they were still the same, not much interested in changing at all.

As the meeting dragged on, Alpha did not speak one word and just kept his post, standing next to his Jedi. Eventually a HUD chat from Venom popped up.

Didn‘t expect you to show up.

Thought you finally bit the dust.

A small smile threatened to tug at his lips as he read the message.

Why, so you can snag my secret stash of correllian whiskey?

A reply came a few seconds later

That and your leather chair >:)

Alpha snorted and shook his head a bit.

Good to have you back, old man.

This time the smile stayed on his lips as he thought about how much he did not miss these useless meetings, where he served no other purpouse than being a pretty little wall decoration to his Jedi. Not that he minded the last part though…

Eventually the meeting came to a close and his Jedi closed the holo projection, dismissed all present officers before turning to Alpha.

He steeled himself to be met with a sour or angly look, maybe that cold stare she always uses to scare any politicians into doing whatever she wanted but there was none of that.

She immediately looked at him, at first wearing that unreadable expression, before it morphed into a gentle smile.

„Commander, you are dismissed. I am sure you must be tired after yesterday‘s battle.“ Venom nodded at her words and turned on his heel, presumibly to get his much needed sleep.

Suddenly Alpha felt his nerves go blank. He was alone with her now, he won‘t be able to get out if this one, well he could, but he shouldn‘t. At this point, Alpha felt too curious about the whole ordeal and wanted answers. If he dealt with it now, it was done and over and he could move on with his life.

„I seem to have forgotten to eat my breakfast this morning, would you accompany me to the mess hall?“ her question was innocent enough and he supposed he‘d be able to survive the short walk to the mess hall with her, so he nodded and trudged out of the central command room after her.

As per usual, she seemingly floated down the corridor at a leisurely pace, at first not speaking a word. But when they turned into a more quiet corridor, she stopped, sighed before taking a deep breath and turned to look at him. The look of sheer determination shown on her face would‘ve send Alpha into a doting frienzy if it weren‘t for his own fried nerves, and boy was he glad to have been wearing his bucket at that very moment.

For a moment they just stood there, facing eachother and no words spoken. Then, all the determination seemed to wash off of her face, replaced by anger and she cast her gaze to the side with an angry huff.

„If I would have known how much suffering I‘d have caused you, I would have never asked for your help, Alpha“ but despite the angry glare, her voice was soft and sad. „I am so sorry“

Alpha was stunned. In all the possible scenarios that ran through his mind, this one was not amongst them. But it was clear to him now where she got the idea from, and why she kept giving him a way out.

„You didn‘t cause me any suffering“ it sounded way too harsh, almost passive agressive and his brain went into overdrive to find a way out of this mess.

„I mean.. yes you kind of did but..“ Kiffin‘ hell, way to go, you dikut. Her face remained downcast but he could still see her emotions wash over her face and as he spoke his last sentence, he could make out panic. Not the same as she held in her eyes that night, no. This kind was more profound, more damaging.

„No wait! I didnt- I just-“ before he could build a coherent sentence though, he had already yanked off his bucket, letting it fall carelessly to the ground and took the three strides to be standing right in front of her. Her eyes had jumped up at the sound of his clattering helmet and the heavy footsteps, looking at the man in front of her now, as he lifted his hands, ready to grasp her arms, but at the last moment he stopped, clenched his fists and lowered them to his sides again.

His Jedi seemingly resigned to staying quiet and letting him talk first, so he did, or tried at least.

„I dont regret what happened“ Alpha began, speaking his words slowly and clearly, „and I would do it again in a heartbeat if you asked me“ he realized just after he spoke his words how they could be percieved but hey, he was already going down, might as well commit to this nightmare and finally added„for any reason.“

When she didnt react and just kept staring at him with her big doe eyes, he decided to give it all the last push.

„The only suffering I felt was caused by my own wishful thinking. Not any action you took, just my wishful interpretation of it. And that is no one else‘s fault but my own.“

But still, she did not speak, did not move, and Alpha worried she might‘ve also stopped breathing alltogether. When she still did not react in any way after what felt like centuries, he cast his gaze down, closing his eyes and tensed before taking a deep breath.

This was it, it‘s all over now, you‘ll be going back to kamino and get decomissioned. It‘s high time anyways, you lived ling beyond your expiration date, old man.

„What wishes were you thinking of?“ her voice was barely ringing through all of his ten thousand racing thoughts but it all quieted down when he heard the words. A small glimmer of hope rose in him but again, his mind squashed it and all the little ambers around it. Still, his heart yearned for one answer.

„Did it mean anything to you?“ he almost regretted his words but her answer came faster than his regret.

„Yes.“ the word was barely a whisper.

He wanted to tear his eyes open and look at hers but he coudn‘t bring himself to do so. Still, maybe if he got more answers he would find his courrage again.

„Do I mean anything to you?“

He felt her hands grab his as she spoke her next words

„A lot more than you can immagine“

This time he dared opening his eyes. She was still looking at him, but the blank stare was replaced with a soft smile and that adoring look she wore once before in her eyes. Alpha felt himself regaining his courrage so he asked his last question.

„I looked up the pollen, were you ever even…“ but he didnt finish his sentence, as he saw how a smile threatened to take over on her face.

„At first, yes… but later…“ she trailed off, not finishing her sentence, as he smiled at her a bit unsure. At that she grinned at him before biting her lower lip and stealing a glance at his lips. Alpha took the hint and started to lean down but before their lips could meet, her comlink chimed.

„General, there is an emergency on the bridge, please report!“ the cracked voice of their Admiral rang through the abandoned corridor and they distanced themselves from each other. She let go of his hands before reaching out and pulling his helmet to her with the force. She took a good look at it, tracing over some scratches and dents before pushing it back to Alpha, smiled at him one more time and then turned to leave.

before she vanished though the doorway she stopped briefly and turned around, „Captain“ she called for his attention and he turned to look at her „Please let me know should you ever fall into a riovilian Aphrodisiac flower so that I can return the favor, yes?“

Alpha saw the playful glimmer in her eyes and nodded his head with a smile as he watched her dash away.

THE END FUCK YES