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# ash got a really good one too but i got no where to post hers. press F in the chat
viikingwitch · 9 months
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what does your soul look like?
Dog teeth.
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You're vicious, but you're afraid. You have to make the first punch, and make sure your opponent can't land one. But you need to stop seeing everyone as an enemy. The only one being violent is you, your anger and your defensiveness is killing you. Take a nap, rest your head and clear your mind. Come back in the morning.
tagged by: @klaeus ( kleya twinning, as god intended <33 ) tagging: @deceptivemorals @withliight @bludheir @wildskissed @nexusvcrti @wehowl @insanislupus @badasshybridqueen and you!
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overwatch ratings based on how they would date
did this a while ago but spent too much time on it for it to not be posted. this is just a personal opinion and personal ratings based off lore and bias tbh. this will be updated with every hero (if I remember to lol)
Tanks:
D.VA: 6/10. Caring and loving, fun gaming dates, but gets recognized a lot, and if it came down to it she’d choose her job to protect south korea over her lover
Doomfist: 4/10. He’d be a gentleman but probably only in it for sex or to be a sugar daddy. He’d treat his “lover” with respect tho so not a total loss i guess.
Junker Queen: 7/10. After the shit she’s been thru i think she doesnt really want a partner cuz shes afraid they’re just using her to get to the throne or that she’ll lose them. She’s protective and caring but also a bit overprotective to the point where it’s like okay calm down. Also might get into a few fights but eh.
Orisa: 0/10. she thinks it would be cute to be in a relationship but knows she cant be in one due to being the “protector of numbani”. so no.
Ramattra: 8/10. Deadass depends if it’s an omnic or not. If his lover is an omnic he will cherish them and take care of them, knowing that they’re one of the few things he loves in this life. If it’s a human then theres some. Problems. He doesnt open up easily and while he’s still protective and caring he can sometimes get very distant towards them because he fears that they only got close to him to use him or kill him.
Reinhardt: 9/10: Perfect gentleman. Treats you with respect and love, and cherishes you no matter what. -1 is because he can be really loud sometimes even when he doesnt mean to be
Roadhog: 5/10. I think of him as aroace but he would try and give it a shot just to feel what it’s like. Hes very quiet but also very calm. He would listen to his lover and do his best to help them, but he moves around a lot thanks to junkrat now and might cut off communication with you just to keep you safe when he's on the run
Sigma: 5/10. A real gentleman, would treat his lover with respect and kindness and love. Only downside is when he has one of his mind breaks and breakdowns. He forgets who he is and just focuses on violence. Also his control of gravity in that state is very fucky so if he’s having a breakdown his lover might get throw to the ground. He feels like jackshit afterwards and probably realizes it’s best not to have someone he cares about so close to him
Wrecking Ball: 0/10 no. he would simply not even if he wanted to. Aroace hampter 
Winston: maybe a 1/10. i feel like he doesnt want a romantic relationship with anybody and just wants friends (aroace monke)
Zarya: 6/10. Protective and caring but would focus too much on her job. would also pick her country over her lover if it did come down to it
Mauga: 8/10: Would treat his lover right and give them anything they asked for. Free beach house, gifts, and a loving, protective, obsessive bf. -2 because slight yandere vibes and can get too possesive-
Damage:
Ashe: 6/10. Partners in crime kinda thing but if you’re not really into that stuff she’s probably not that into you. She has BOB watching you when she cant during a fight but shes always next to you when she can be.
Bastion: 0/10. Dude just wants to live in the woods with his bird he doesnt want that stuff.
Cassidy: 8/10. Southern sweetheart. Treats his partner with love and respect. Only downside is that he’d be out a lot doing his job, but he would let somebody else do it to be with you if it’s a special occasion or if he really wants to stay with you.
Echo: 2/10. Not big on romance but would try it out for science. Sadly in the end it’s not real love so. Oof
Genji: 9/10. Probably doesn’t want a relationship at first because of his body but he gets used to it and opens up his heart. Honestly very good boyfriend would be there to listen and help you with stuff. -1 cuz he might be out doing overwatch stuff a lot and also might not be the most exciting person to be around if you're a hyper person.
Hanzo: 6/10. Can’t see him getting in a relationship after everything thats happened but if he did he’d be kinda bad at it but you could tell that he’s trying his best.
Junkrat: 5/10. I love him but i cant really see him *staying* in a relationship for long. He doesn’t know how to stop sometimes and can get really annoying really quick but he loves making things for his lover and would do his best to keep them away from the dangerous bombs. He loves them a lot but doesn’t know how to turn the love down. Really clingy so if youre into that cool.
Mei: 9/10. Absolute sweetheart. Loves you to bits and takes you out to her favorite restaurants and stuff. -1 cuz you had to have a long distance relationship due to her being in Antarctica and the fact she slept for years with no communication with her lover-
Phara: 4/10. Cares about her job more but would be an okay girlfriend, doing the basics.
Reaper: 1/10. He’s done with love and would probably just just be a sugar daddy or just be there for sex. Even if he did find himself feeling something he’d ignore it and move on
Sojourn:5/10. Not interested in dating or finding love but if it finds her she’ll go for it. Pretty nice girlfriend, makes sure to take care of her lover but does focus on her job a lot more sometimes.
Soldier:76: 0/10. Not interested and has made sure to break off any past relationships. Doesn’t want the people he cares about to get hurt. So he still cares but doesnt go see them.
Somba: 7/10. Would be a pretty good girlfriend if she wanted to have a relationship. She keeps all people she cares about far away and unaware of her deeds at Talon. So a long distance relationship until she can take some time off to go see her lover and vibe.
Symmetra: 3/10. Doesn’t know how to even start a relationship and doesn’t really want to. Her job is important to her so she wouldn’t want distractions from it.
Torbjorn: 6/10. His wife and him had a few children and have been married for a while so he’s probably got the whole love thing covered.
Tracer: 9/10. Probably one of the best on this list. She’s loving and caring and makes sure to spend a lot of time with her partner. 
Widowmaker: 3/10. Last partner she had was um. killed by her so. +3 if you could break down her walls and see the real her but very low chance
Venture: 8.5/10: Would talk to you about rocks, fossils, and everything else they can think about. They’d even let you name rocks around the house. -2 cuz they’ll talk your ear off about rocks n stuff while also bouncing around everywhere. They can also be gone for long periods of time but always makes sure to call. If you can deal with the infodumping and adhd then 9.5/10 for you 
Support:
Ana: 5/10. She doesn’t want a relationship but she’d be very loving and caring to her lover.
Baptiste: 8/10. Great boyfriend, lovers needs always come first and he’s very open and always has an ear out to listen. -2 because he’s constantly on the run and the relationship could get stressed.
Brigitte: 5/10. Mostly focused on her work but would make a pretty good girlfriend if she finds the right person. The relationship would mostly be a test one because she lowkey doesn’t understand it.
Kiriko: 4/10. Would love to be in a relationship but protecting her home is more important than finding love to her.
Lucio: 9/10. Actual sweetheart. Would make music for you and would cancel shows last second if something came up and you needed something. If you need anything he’ll be there to help.
Mercy: 8/10. She’s really focused on her work but no matter what would take time to come stay with you for a while. -2 because sometimes too focused on work and sometimes doesnt have time to see you for a long time.
Moira: 0/10. Not looking for a relationship and would probably lie just to get you strapped to a table and butchered.
Zenyatta: 7/10. Would make a decent boyfriend but he can’t have relationships due to being a monk. He’d be there to listen and to give advice when you needed it.
Lifeweaver: 9/10. Perfect boyfriend in every way. Like no competition. -1 cuz he's on the run from multiple governments so he won't be able to talk all the time or be with you much to his dismay. multiple texts a day tho
Illari: 4/10. Tbh I can't see her getting into a relationship after everything. She's too scared that something will happen with her powers again and hurt her lover
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terezis · 1 year
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ok here's the hot goss from the nycc taz gn panel
i don't actually know whether or not it was recorded/ if they're going to put it online so here is my summary. also if i miss anything and u were there pls feel free to chime in. spoilers obviously!!!
got eight new preview pages (four two-page spreads), not the pages on the macmillan website!!!
ok i will tell u about those pages but the main thing discussed at the panel was how they went about adapting this arc into gn form. the actual time spent in wonderland has been trimmed a lot bc they had to think about what was actually important to the narrative as they are building to story and song.
basically in planning out the suffering game they also really had to decide what the rest of the series would look like, bc whatever they include now is seeding the stuff that's going to happen later.
cam is not in this book. it was implied there's less wheel spins. rowan/ash/sterling get much less screen time
almost half of this book is lunar interlude stuff (pre and post suffering game, INCLUDING REUNION TOUR!!! no word on where it ends but they made it clear that a LOT of thought went into what to include and where to end it, and what that would mean for the next book)
ok so about those preview pages
first one was post-taakitz date with kravitz sensing a lich and the umbra staff shooting at him <3 <3 <3
i thought they were going to show us the preview pages that were on macmillan so when i saw kravitz i was so shook
second spread was magnus visiting the voidfish, which now happens right before they leave for wonderland; the whole beginning of tsg from magnus trying to talk to pringles to him kidnapping those guards to the chimera fight was cut LOL bc it never really got… addressed again in the podcast
angus comes to get him for the mission but magnus has been going Through It (outright stated, they were like. he found out he's a red robe. he would probably not be handling it well. he has eyebags now. LOL) and snaps at angus when angus presses him on what's wrong.
more angus content, he will be investigating what's going on at the bureau more (his scene w magnus ties into this)
same for lucretia! more content/ stuff for her to do
third spread was merle w his kids getting saved by the red robe, is at a carnival instead of a random street this time LOL
last one was the boys arriving just outside of wonderland
wonderland looks fuckign cool
what else… oh confirmed like eighty panels of bare ass naked magnus after he gets his body back. so i think we really are getting the full reunion tour this book???
ALSO NAKED BARRY COVERED IN SLIME. WHEN HE GETS OUT OF THE POD. CONFIRMED. CANON. LOL
omg ALSO!!! ben (editor) said he campaigned REALLY HARD to have the umbra staff break during the suffering game, freeing lup early, bc he really wanted more time with her, but griffin campaigned really hard NOT to do this, and in doing so his arguments solved a lot of other problems they had been having at the time LOL
travis is the fans' champion when the others get too edit-happy. he's the one who has a good idea of what moments are important to the readers so he's like hey… too far. don't cut that. and then they don't
justin leaves great notes and when they couldn't figure stuff out ben would often say "no it's fine justin will solve this." and he ALWAYS DID
this was news to justin
??? i think that's all the main points honestly i'm v picky about adaptations but overall i feel like these are good changes that make sense when translating the podcast to gn
that said i do hope taako still gets a washing machine dropped on him <3 do this for me carey <3
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its-your-mind · 10 months
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Some Thoughts on the importance of physical touch and connection for the Hells: A reflection on the new animated intro.
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In general, I think the Hells are a really strange and special group, especially for a dnd party. They pretty much laid all their baggage on the table within the first week of meeting each other (What the Fuck is Up With That?) almost as a litmus test: "hey, here's all the shit that comes with being me, last chance to run away if that's too much."
and none of them did. and they all kept choosing to stay, even as shit got even weirder and more and more disturbing answers came to light. I think that continued choice from all of them - to stay - is what makes the bonds between the Hells so deep and so special.
okay trauma analysis and party dynamics is a DIFFERENT POST but it was all RELEVANT INTRODUCTION bc the CHOOSING TO STAY and the KNOWING EACH OTHERS' SHIT are like. key components to understanding why I am so feral about this. okay hopefully you will understand. the body of my essay is below. it has pictures. it got... too long. so. it went under a read more. yw. anyway click below if you want a very detailed analysis of an animated intro that is literally only one minute and thirty seconds long
For the first bit, character intros for Fearne, Orym, Imogen, Ashton, there’s no physical contact.
BUT. First intro of hells as a team. Ashton Trauma Flashback interrupted by laudna approaching slowly from beside him with her hand gently in front of him to signal her presence without startling him, and THEN just talking at them. Bringing him out of those flashbacks. Reminding him where he is and who he’s with.
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And tbh? For Ashton? Touch is always iffy, so this is almost a more understanding and kind way to bring them out of the flashback. Just physical presence is good! UNLESS. (unless) first actual touch. Fearne stealing their coin purse, so gently that they don’t even notice it (FLIRTING THROUGH THEFT callowmoore my beloved)
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(also grabbed the cap that shows her with his coinpurse these fucking ANIMATORS)
okay pt 2 FLYING OFF THE AIRSHIP
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Ashton's first instinct and priority is grab laudna’s hand bc he KNOWS she is made of paper mache and he is ALWAYS watching out for her out of the corner of his eye bc she is breakable and he’s not gonna let her break bc he KNOWS what it’s like to be breakable and need someone to catch you when you’re falling but ANYWAY. he grabs her he uses his hammer as a fulcrum to throw her at Imogen
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because OF COURSE he knows that the safest and most comfortable space for laudna is in imogen’s arms. and the two of them wrap their arms around each other and hold tight Superman style bc ofc they do and once laudna is in imogen’s arms she’s absolutely delighted by this whole situation bc OFC SHE IS
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(tf do you mean I can’t add more than ten images on mobile UGH fine I’ll finish writing then draft and move to PC the images are IMPORTANT TO MY POINT anyway insert lesbians here) (note from future mind: I have decided that these pic descriptions i left for myself to grab the right images are fucking hilarious so they’re staying in yw)
Then fearne (who had been on her way in that direction already) swoops under Ashton to catch him as he flips over from the momentum so he can land on her giant bird back and she can fly him away.
(Pics: It’s fine to touch Ash if you’re saving their life)
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(also not pictured: chet staying on the ship but losing his hat, orym grabbing it out of the air, imogen casting fly on fcg right before she catches laudna, fcg flying over to grab orym) All of this happens in six seconds by the way. One round of combat. These animators are fucking incredible.
BACK TO CHARACTER INTROS laudna who is ofc alone and in the dark at the bottom of the Sun tree, reliving her past…
(Pic: sad lonely laudna)
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right up until Imogen puts her head on her shoulder, and the darkness burns away into light. She doesn’t say anything, or talk with laudna - all it takes is that physical reminder that she’s not alone anymore, that there is warmth, that she is surrounded by a family who loves her so much they chose to turn down comfortable beds in a lord’s manor so that they could join her in sleeping at the bottom of the Sun Tree. (Fav lil detail - fearne wrapped around Orym like he’s a teddy bear, and holding tight to laudna’s blanket to make sure she can’t go anywhere.)
(Pics: THE POWER OF LESBIANS AND FOUND FAMILY)
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fcg. Fuck. Starts with their flashback, with their red eyes and their buzzsaw, but almost immediately we see Ashton reach out to grab their shoulder and Orym whip out a vine to tie up their saw.
(pics: reaching out even if it might hurt youuuuu)
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Imogen goes on her knees and wraps her arms around FCG’s other side, and the rest of them all gather around him, holding him to keep him and each other safe, but mostly just grounding him in the present by surrounding him physically until the flashback fades and he’s once more aware of his surroundings.
(Pics: what the fuck they just need to be held)
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(once shit has calmed down fearne uses this opportunity to pick Ashton’s pocket again. Flirting through theft).
(Pic: fearne is a menace to society)
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final fight scene. fuck yes.
(Pic: IT’S THURSDAY NIIIIIIIIIIIGHT)
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This is mostly just giving all of them room to be badasses (as they deserve) - but there are some things!! First!!
(pics: THESE WITCHES BE BITCHES minus fearne sry fearne we miss u but you are on fire and laudna is made of wood currently)
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Imogen and laudna casting spells back to back, trusting each other to take care of what’s on their side. Inseparable, even in a battle where their party has scattered to fight other enemies.
BUT. The BIG thing though in this sequence. Maybe my favorite part? Idk I don’t have a favorite. But!! Orym. taking out four of Otohan’s shadow knights. then facing off against her personally!! And it’s one-on-one, because this was Orym’s task alone - to find the person who attacked his leader and killed his family. He’s angry, but mostly he’s honed-in and focused and determined. This is his mission.
(Pics: WHO’S JUST A LIL GUY NOW HUH)
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But then, when Otohan pushes him back…
(Pic: fuck. shit. fuck. im. fine. anYway. them.)
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FCG and Ashton are there right behind him, and they put their arms out and catch him so he doesn’t fly back any farther. And there’s this look of surprise on his face, because once he lost Will, he never expected there to be anyone else standing behind him, ready to catch him. And yet, here they are.
(Pics: fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes GOOOO ORYM!!!)
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They give Orym a push forward and follow behind him, and he walks back towards Otohan with confidence. Lil grin on his face, brisk walking pace - he even does a little fancy sword swoosh! Because maybe he’s not strong enough to take out Otohan on his own. But the thing is, he’s not alone anymore.
(Pic: THEY.)
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None of them are alone. And whenever any of them forget, or slip into old habits and memories, the rest are right there to reach out a hand to remind them.
Building a family out of broken pieces is difficult even without an apocalypse. But the Hells have shown each other, over and over and over, often with their actions even more than their words, that they really are dedicated to this family that they've built together. This intro fucking slaps so hard and the animators deserve so much praise for how incredible this intro is
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iamumbra195 · 3 months
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!!!SBG SPOILERS CHAPTER 77!!!!
THIS CHAPTER WAS EVERYTHING HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
The dynamics between the kids and how comfortable they've gotten around each other, especially with how Ashlyn was totally okay with Taylor and Aiden messing with her hair-- which is something I absolutely adore in this chapter she looks amazing and badass. The fact that Logan felt comfortable enough being snarky like that is also everything. Like this kid has been bullied relentlessly and the fact that he knows he can be snarky and mess with Tyler like that without getting hurt because of it shows so much growth. And the little moment of childish delight between Taylor and Aiden at the idea of racing around and the fact that Ashlyn doesn't tell them to focus or be serious but instead tells them they can do it later?? Early Ashlyn would get so annoyed and now she's just chill with it because she knows they all have their own ways to cope and deal with the stress and that's honestly so sweet.
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Also, Ben using sign language and being understood and the others trying to find solutions so he can warn them of danger or something he is about to do is so sweet. They're so accommodating and caring to one another without even having to think twice, it's honestly so sweet.
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Alex helping them with the card without question is really sweet but I have bad feeling it's gonna backfire on him and I don't like it.
And the rules of the phantom dimension are literally so weird. So technically they don't need to sleep or eat but they should because it helps them feel better when they're awake? I knew I was onto something when I made that post about how the fact they're technically living 31 hours a day should effect them more physically.
Also, The fact that the facility has a fucking armory is insane but also works so perfectly for the Mike-centric AU I've been trying to cook up and speaking of Mike, OH MY GOD HE'S IN THE PHANTOM DIMENSION, I REPEAT, HE'S IN THE PHANTOM DIMENSION!!
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Does that mean the other parents are there too? Is it just him? Is Emma with him?
Also, both dad and daughter being certified badasses and having the same instincts??
We also got Mike with facial hair again lol but I'm kinda worried about what the means. Like they probably gave them stuff for basic hygiene right? Did something happen? Is he spiralling? Who was the one that screamed in this moment?
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Also-- THE WAY ASH STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE RECOGNIZED HIM??
Oh my god, idk if we're gonna have another hug moment where he's comforting her again or if we're gonna have all the kids hugging their parents but either imma start crying.
Also, if she's crying but she thinks she's the one who dragged her dad into the phantom realm and feels horribly guilty about it again I'm gonna fucking cry.
My thought process is all over the place but if you stayed thanks and here are some of my other favourite panels in this chapter.
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the second one and aiden shooting the guns has some good pfp potential lol
Anyway, the new outfits and Ash's new hair is everything (she looks adorable I wanna squish her cheeks she looks like a chipmunk oml) and I can't wait until next week holy shit.
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ch4osworld · 7 months
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THE PASSENGER
Chapter 2
Words:1753 @cherry-4200 @adaizel
It's finally time for Lilith's disappearance, yay! As usual i hope this chapter will be of your liking! Also i don't think this week i'll be able to post anything as i will be really busy with studying and such, but i will still try to write something.
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You once again travelled through the meticulous intricacies of hell, with one destination in mind, your shop. You managed to open your pretty little place to make a living out of your miserable life. It was really simple, you would give the customer all the information they needed, while you would get something in return, something of great value, money peraphs, but you managed to get a few souls too. It hurt you, seeing those demons throw their hopeless life away for something so futile as even a little secret you had managed to see, but this is hell after all, a place of eternal torment, where every vitality is doomed from the very beginning. If you wanted to keep yourself alive, it was your job to do just that, as much as it broke you. You took your keys and opened the door. It was lifeless, as usual, it was overflowing with dust, dust that you never had the courage to remove, it seemed filled with energy, peraphs that wasn't dust, that was ash, tiny little particles of a person's being, you were sure someone died in there, your heart told you. Every time you would enter that hollow place it seemed to invade an ancient thomb, you would feel a sense of turmoil every time the delicate and heavy smell of whood would enter your nostrils. You walked behind your desk, steps heavy with grief for someone that you never met, but that was the only place you could afford, so you couldn't let them rest, not for a very long time.
A sinner walked through the timbered door into the dimly lit room. The woman was tall and slender with light-grey skin, her unusual white hair were shaped in the form of large horns, her shoes looking like ballet slippers, wich she walked on the tips of her toes. "Good morning ma'am, what is that you'd like to know?" You told her listlessly as she got closer to you: "Good morning great passenger" she responded, bowing before you. You were bewildered, it seems like people genuinely respected you, at least some of them did, it felt....nice: "I'd like for some information of where to find angelic weapons". This woman was peculiar, to say the least, not many have asked you about angelic weapons before: "there is a desert somewhere in the pride ring, far far away from civilization, there lays many corpses, stabbed by those same weapons, not many are aware of that place"  you replied, showing her a map you had previously found there: "I shall thank you, i hope this is enough to pay the price" she said, handling you a good quantity of money and an angelic weapon, a rare find, "Don't worry, it's perfect" she thanked you one last time before heading away.
Now that work was done, you got back to travelling hell like usual, your steps unusually loud, as the stermination was coming near once again. In a few days the angels would arrive and bring chaos and destruction everywhere they'd reach. You knew that they would not harm you, it was agreed upon the pacts stipulated by Lucifer, but he still decided do gift you something you could protect yourself with, an angelic weapon, a beautiful knife adorned by the most gorgeous and ethereal images carved into it's handel. Oh how sweet, he cared about you a lot, you could easily sense it. It would be romantic even, if not for the fact he was bound to Lilith. Luci never wanted you to suffer, but oh if only he knew how much he hurt you, he would never forgive himself. He suscitated such a pity on you. But even after all this suffering, this torment you were costrained to live with, you found something in you that was worth it still, your humanity. You were no demon or angel, you were just a simple human. You never turned into a demon once you fell, peraphs it was because you were never casted there, it was by choice, by choice of following the one you loved most, even when he couldn't reciprocate. For as long as you could remember you had cherished your humanity above all else. It was part of you, carved into the very depths of your being. It gave you strength in your toughtest moments, as it was a source of force and resiliance, a reminder that good could still exist in a haunted and grotesque place like hell. You loved how it felt to be human and every aspect of it, how it felt to be fragile, how you needed to eat and drink to survive, how things felt on your bare skin, how it felt to be alive, how you were unique. You loved and cherished every single aspect of it, and if it would be taken away from you, you'd fall into the pits of despair and emptiness, because being human was what made you....you. But even as you embraced your humanity, you knew it made you weak, an easy target, for hell was a merciless place, but you refused to give up your soul, for it was the only beacon of hope and light in your meaningless life, and you would never trade it for anything in the world. There was another thing other than your humanity that gave you hope though; Charlie, Luci and Lilith's daughter. When they first announced the pregnancy to you, something inside yourself shattered, maybe it was your heart, maybe your very own soul, but nontheless it spiraled you down into a despair you would have never wanted to reach, and the worst thing was that you had no one to talk to, no one wich you could confide your deepest sufferings. You drowned in a pool of misery as Lilith watched you pleased and she took Lucifer away, to keep it all to herself, like the whicked and evil woman she is deep inside. You could still remember the day they announced the pregnancy to you like it happened yesterday.
In the grands halls of Lucifer's palace, you stood in silence as him and Lilith made their announcement. Her hand rested gently on her slightly swollen belly, a radiant smile gracing her lips as she looked upon her husband with adoration: "Lucifer and I have some wonderful news to share!" She exclaimed, her eyes lighting up: "We are expecting a child!". The words hit you like a hammer, your heart aching with pain that threatened to consume you whole. But despite the turmoil growing within your soul , you forced a smile, masking the pain that burned inside you: "That's wonderful! Congratulations to both of you, I can't wait for the baby to be born!"  Your voice filled with untrue enthusiasm. Lucifer's gaze lingered on you for a moment, his eyes flickering with something unreadable, before turning back to Lilith with a smile: "I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED! I HAVE MANY PLANS–OOOH AND I HAVE A LOT OF NAMES IN MIND!" As the conversation turned to how to name the baby, you felt as though you were drowning in a sea of sorrow. You wanted nothing more than to scream, to breakdown from the injustice of it all, but you knew you had to maintain this facade, for you would never ruin your friendship with Lucifer.
Even after all this torment, you managed to have a good relationship with Charlie. Her joyous character infecting you, making you find a reason to keep living. You grew to be attached to her, you watched her make her first crawls, make her first steps, and say her first word, you watched her grow. She was truly like the child you never had to to you. As you travelled through hell your thoughts lingered on the young lady, to distract yourself from the sorrow surrounding you, you decided to play a visit. As you got closer and closer to Lucifer's castle, a negative aura started surrounding you, something didn't feel right. You tried to dismiss the feeling crawling down your spine, as you reached the palace.
You ventured inside, making your way through the shadowed corridors, your footsteps echoing through the dimly lit halls. You silently approached Lucifer's and Lilith's bedrooom, but as you stepped into the vast room, your breath got caught in your throat at the sight before you. Luci sat hunced over on the edge of the bed, his shoulder shaking as tears streamed down his face. His joyful demeanor seemed to be replaced by utter desperation. For a moment, you stood there in place, unsure of what to do or what to say, but you fastly recomposed yourself, as you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, with the same loving embrace he would give you back then in heaven: "It's alright Luci" you murmured reassuringly "I'm here for you, tell me what is happening and we can deal with this togheter". Lucifer's body tensed up at your touch, his breath heavy as he looked up at you with red, teary eyes: "She's gone...Lilith is gone" he cried, as he vainly tried to stop the tears from flowing down his cheek. Your heart ached at the anguish in his voice, full of pain and torment that threatened to engulf you both "Luci, listen to me, you are not alone, you have me and Charlie by your side, you can do it. I am sure Lilith is ok, that she will be back, sooner or later" this is the last thing you said, before the silence started to loom, broken only by the sound of sniffs, as Lucifer buried his head in your chest. You passed the entire day holding one another, as he ruminated on the memories he had with his wife and you listened to him. And so, they clung to each other in the darkness, finding solace in each other's arms, weariness soon found them, and they fell asleep, still embracing eachother.
While you held Lucifer in your arms, offering words of comfort, a tornado of emotions raged within your soul. Amidst the pain you felt for him, a tiny spark of hope flickered to life. As you felt Lucifer's tears on your body, you dared to entertain the possibility that maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance for you. Now that Lilith was gone, you and him could, peraphs, get togheter someday, and have the happy life you always wanted you two to have.
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usmsgutterson · 1 year
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Haunted- K.B x Fem! Sun Summoner! Reader
Okay, this was requested by @freddycarterswife​, and the only reason I’m making a separate post is because I didn’t want the post with her notes and mine to get too long and clog up anyones dash, so this was my solution! 
I have two more requests in my inbox and then my requests will be open again and I have a big plan coming up for my two year anniversary on this account (which is being combined with my 600 follower celebration because why not) so a lot is going to come out during the second half of this week! I’m looking forward to it and I can’t wait to start accepting requests again
Fic type- angst with a fluffy ending
Warnings- mentions of death, torsos and legs separating with the use of the cut, mentions of guns, mentions of cremation ashes
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You’d fled Ravka in the last days before the war began, vowing never to let anyone know of your status as one of the only two sun summoners who existed in the world at that time. 
You fled to Ketterdam stashed on a cargo ship, having expected to find decent lodgings near Fifth Harbor and continue as you had, alone in your endeavors and without fear. 
You had enough money to get through your first week, and you found yourself in the Barrel. You saved Kaz from being jumped and got yourself a room in the Slat free of charge and a job working at the bar in the Crow Club on weekdays. 
Kaz must’ve noticed it right off the bat, the way with which you carried yourself and the way that you seemed just to exist. It didn’t feel like you were a girl who was down on her luck but rather a girl with a past full of secrets. 
But you worked at the Crow Club, you lived in the Slat, and you’d joined the Dregs nearly right off the bat. The money you’d brought with you for your first week dwindled quickly, but the money you made from the jobs that Kaz put you on the crew of made up for it twentyfold, at least. The money was good, the people great, and eventually, your life in Ketterdam was one you settled into; it grew into a secondary home, of sorts. 
You summoned the sun on a semi frequent basis to keep yourself from growing sick in the absence of your small science, oftentimes using it to bring light when your oil lamps had died and you were still reading, occasionally using it to bring you warmth when it grew cold in the Slat during the winter. 
By the time you’d lived in Ketterdam four years, Kaz came to you with the biggest heist yet. It was in Ravka, the theft of several important jewels and a few apparently priceless enameled eggs with promise of good money from Nikolai Lantsov and his wife, Zoya Nazyalensky. 
Nikolai had told Kaz to name his price and Kaz had promptly told him that his price was a minimum of forty million kruge. With those words, the deal was sealed and he’d come to you, asking if you were in or out.
You’d told him you were in, and that got you where you were, standing in a dusty hotel room near the location of the items that you were to steal and return to the palaces. 
Nina and Matthias were grabbing food at the small restaurant located inside the hotel, Wylan and Jesper grabbing ice and coffee grounds from the machines at one end of the hallway, and Inej was scouting, seeking any last minute details that could’ve been helpful when the heist was to go down within the following two hours.
“Be careful,” Kaz said, eyes watching the sun as it began to set. You’d been watching it, too. Four years since you’d last seen a Ravkan sunset. As it turned out, you’d missed them more than you thought. “This entire heist is a risk, Y/N. Try not to get yourself killed.”
A grin came easily to your face as you resisted the urge to summon an arc of sunlight, bright and blazing into the room. 
You almost wondered what would happen if you did. Kaz had long grown used to the two of you having your own secrets, and would he really care? Would he even blink at the fact that you could summon the sun, especially when one considered that Alina Starkov had died and at least ten sun summoners had been left in her wake? Would he really care about it other than connotating that, had you told him, it could’ve been a useful tool on a few of the jobs you did? 
“You too, Brekker,” you said. “Don’t die on me, Kaz. I’d hate to plan a funeral for you.”
He turned to you, and you caught a smirk on his face. “Well, I do at least expect a headstone. My enemies need something to spit on when they’ve heard of my death.”
“Nah,” you said. “No headstone for you or your enemies. I’ll cremate you, turn some of your ashes into a necklace and put the rest into a remake of your cane, provided I find a Fabrikator who can even passably replicate it.” 
“If you die, I’ll put your ashes into the water at Fifth Harbor,” he said.
“No, you won’t,” you rebutted. “You’ll put them into soil, and use that soil to plant a garden. I’ve got a will, Brekker. You will abide by it.” 
Kaz scoffed. “What, living in the Barrel make you so unoptimistic that you felt the need for a will?” 
“Living in Ravka did,” you said. “Not really a good place to live when the Unsea was expanding and a war was almost guaranteed. I left the day before the Darkling expanded it, haven’t been back around until now.” 
Kaz only nodded. It was another piece of your history that he didn’t know, another tidbit given to him, another tidbit that meant he would likely give you something in return. 
At that, the both of you heard Wylan and Jesper as they opened the door.
“Just don’t get killed,” Kaz said. “I am not the man who will put your ashes into soil or plant them into a garden, so keep your head, at the very least.” 
You shook your head, grin moving onto your face slightly. That was as much as Kaz telling you he loved you, and you’d find a way to tell him you loved him in return, be it that night or in due time. 
-
You were panicking. 
The jewelry had been procured, the enamel eggs in all their horrific, ugly glory were in the bags that you’d hauled over your shoulders. The guards had located you, though, and as fast as the seven of you were capable of moving, it seemed the guards were faster. 
You turned just in time to see two guards aiming their pistols at Kaz and Jesper. As though it were instinct, you raised your hands, summoned all of your power to the forefront of your mind. 
You were on autopilot, almost, as you summoned a blazing beam of light, held it in your hands, wielded it as a weapon of your own. 
And then, you released it. 
You watched in terror as your light sliced the guards in two from their torsos, hallowed screams leaving their lips as their knees toppled and their guns fell from their loose, dead hands. 
Everything stopped. Jesper, Nina, Inej, Kaz, Wylan and Matthias turned around, having stopped in their tracks. All of them looked to you instantly. Your throat dried and you hated yourself for the fact that you found you had no words. 
“You’re a--” Nina began, but Kaz cut her off.
“You can summon the sun, and you never told anybody,” he said.
You didn’t speak, only crumbled to the ground. You weren’t supposed to do that, and some part of you regretted it. But the other acknowledged that you’d done what was necessary to keep Kaz and Jesper alive. 
“Whatever,” Kaz said, deeming it unnecessary to carry what was almost a fight into a fight, be it with words or balled fists. “We’re leaving. This is done.” 
“Don’t leave me like this,” you said, finding the words at the least opportune time. “Please, don’t.” 
“May you find someone else to churn your ashes in the soil and make a garden out of them,” he said. “Because it won’t be me.” 
You surrendered the bags you’d carried to Nina, who looked at you pitifully, and watched the crows go. 
You left after what was probably fifteen minutes but felt like a thousand days, finding yourself in an alleyway, back pressed against the wall. Your ability to summon was always where things went wrong in life. 
It’d nearly gotten you killed when you refused to be the Darklings puppet. It’d nearly gotten you killed when Alina had come around and he realized he didn’t need to hold out hope that you’d come around anymore. Refraining from using it in longer pockets of time had nearly killed you, too. 
In the end, your ability to summon the sun had been what caused you to lose everything.
You felt the tears fall, and you let them. You’d be haunted by them, the friends you’d once had, for a lifetime, and that was the precise reason you couldn’t go back to Ketterdam. 
On the other hand, what choice was there? Would you go to the Grand Palace, plead your case and pray to the saints that Nikolai would allow you a room to stay in? 
Would you smuggle yourself onto a cargo ship just as you’d done four years before? Would you live a life somewhere new, perhaps Novyi Zem, where Grisha were considered to be blessed? 
You had no idea, but you knew that you would be haunted by Kaz Brekker, his crew, and Ketterdam for the rest of your life. There was no going back, not after that. 
It was just a matter of where, exactly, you would go.
-
You found yourself on Ketterdam soil six months later, the city chilly and the leaves changing as was typical with October weather. You found Jespers gaze in the same time he found yours, a grin easily coming to his face. He’d missed you, so it seemed. 
“Glad you got my letter,” he said as you stepped onto the dock. “I’d been going off rumor, mostly tidbits and things that Inej heard of you. Mercenary, hm?” 
You shrugged. “Needed something to do after that night. Figured that being a killer for hire was my best bet, and mercenaries make a shit ton wherever you end up. How’d you know I was in Novyi Zem, exactly? I’m good at keeping my locations under wraps so thick that even Inej shouldn’t’ve figured it out.” 
Jesper shrugged, shook his head. “You didn’t when you moved on from the Wandering Isle to Novyi Zem. Maybe you subconsciously wanted to be found? Maybe you missed me, or a certain Barrel boss who dresses like he’s a businessman?” 
You laughed. “I’ve missed you and the rest of the Dregs, certainly, but Kaz? No. I haven’t thought of him since he left me after I’d saved his bloody life.” A lie, though it sounded convincing enough. 
You’d thought of him everyday, day in and day out. You were haunted by him, just as you’d thought yourself to be, haunted by him and by Ketterdam and the Crow Club. You’d vowed never to go back, but then Jesper had written to you and explained that Kaz wanted to discuss something. 
So, hesitantly, you left Novyi Zem, a place you were starting to think could be a home, and there you were. Walking to the Slat and talking to Jesper and ignoring the way that your heart could not stop racing at the thought of seeing Kaz again.  
Jesper only laughed. “Sure. I’ll believe that if you do.” 
You stuck your tongue out at him in retaliation, the rest of the walk being filled with updates on how things had been in Ketterdam and stories of Novyi Zem and the Wandering Isle in turn. 
Then, you were at the Slat, leaning against Kaz’s office door, not looking at him as he did not turn his gaze up from the heist he was planning to look at you.
You summoned a beam of sunlight to your fingertips, made a loose fist and flicked your fingers out, watching amusedly as a sliver of sunlight moved and skittered across the room to Kaz’s desk, glinting sharply against the inkwell that was within his vision and causing him to close his eyes and blink in confusion before he looked up and saw you. 
“Good,” he said. “You’re here. We’ve much to discuss.”
“We’ve nothing to discuss,” you responded. “Unless, of course, this discussion is to begin with you apologizing for leaving me in the dust when I was the reason you didn’t get killed, even if it meant I’d killed two other people as a result. I want an apology, Brekker, and unless you give me one, or, at the very least, a Brekker-ified version, this discussion is over before it can begin.” 
Kaz sighed as he leaned back in his office chair, gesturing to the coffeemaker he kept by the door. 
“You don’t look well rested.” 
“Nor do you.” 
“I can imagine that killing people leaves you with fewer resting hours.” 
You scoffed. “I don’t kill innocents, Brekker. In the four years we knew each other before you left me in the dust, I figured you could’ve deduced that the death of innocent people is strictly against my moral code.” 
“First off, you’re right,” Kaz said. “You saved my life that day. I know. I know it probably means I owe you, too.”
“The one thing you did owe me has just been given,” you said. “Not quite the words I was looking for, but good enough. Now, what do you really want?” 
“To start over,” Kaz said. “We could use a mercenary on the crew, and... people have certainly missed your presence here.” 
You grinned. “People being you, Brekker?” 
Kaz stayed silent, a begrudging look that said: you know exactly what I mean and I am not going to say it out loud because I am afraid that admitting it makes me weak by default lingering in the blue of his eyes. 
“Yeah, people being you,” you nodded, and he nodded. “One reason to agree, then. All I need is one reason.”
“The pay will be decent,” he said. “Better than decent. Name your price.”
“You really are desperate,” you laughed. “Missed me that much, did you?”
“Your price?”
“The biggest available room you have in the Slat,” you said. “My old job at the bar in the Crow Club, and the promise that, if I die on any heist in which I am included, you are the one who churns my ashes in the soil and uses them in the planting of a garden. Don’t care what you grow, as long as you’re the one doing it.” 
Kaz laughed, and the part of you that loved him responded like things were as they had been six months before, your heart giving a flit that you did not put aside. 
“You’re quite the easy bargain,” he said. “I agree to your terms. Welcome back.”
You grinned, and Kaz felt his heart begin to race just the same as it would’ve six months before, when he’d catch you grinning at one of Jespers jokes or something like a dandelion coming up through a crack in the cobblestones. When he would catch a grin that would come onto your face during the rarer sunny days in fall, most often happening after a series of storms, your face turned to the sunlight as you basked in it. 
“You don’t hate me for it still, do you?” You asked. “The fact that I didn’t tell you?”
“I did for a solid two weeks,” he said. “And then my only thought was that you saved my life and that I scorned you for it. I never really hated you, not for a moment. Do you still hate me?” 
You laughed, and Kaz felt his racing heart lighten into the weight of air. 
“I don’t hate you,” you said, approaching the coffeemaker. You started up a pot, grabbed a book from one of his shelves, and found yourself on the windowsill, just like you would’ve been seven months before, reading while he planned out the next big thing and feeling your heart swell every time you looked at him. 
You stayed there through the remainder of the day, occasionally summoning a sunbeam at the right angle while you chatted with Kaz, watching as a rainbow fell across the pages on which he wrote. You felt like yourself again, no longer haunted by Kaz and Ketterdam but rather, happy as ever to be back and in his company. 
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fordoggo · 9 months
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Sooo I've read loads of shinran fanfics for years >> Shinran Masterlist
And I've decided to share my good recommendations of fics about ran finding out conan's idenity (this was posted in reddit as well):
RAN FINDING OUT:
Facade by platinum-breaker
Summary: Conan did not expect Ran to suddenly corner him one day.
The Face She'd never seen by ChibiRaccoon
Summary: In all the time she had known him, Ran had never seen that look on his face.
coming back to her by readingnotes
Summary: They broke him. They broke him into so many pieces, and now they're right in front of her, not Edogawa Conan, not Kudo Shinichi; no, now she's the detective, she has to solve this jigsaw puzzle and put him back together. He won't be the same. Of course not. But she'll fix him into the person he'll become.
Artificial Anxiety by Serinox
Summary: On that fateful day in Tropical Land, Shinichi turned away from chasing Vodka when Ran called out to him. Now they are in a relationship and things are progressing nicely. But events happen, which create a kind of artificial anxiety between them, that they have to deal with. Good times are easy, but can they get through the hard times too?
BACK WHERE HE BELONGS by jojoangel01
Summary: Takes part in Shinichis rebirth. Will he seize the day he was rewarded with after getting his body back? Will he be able to control his feelings for a certain person that holds his heart? PURE FLUFF, I mean it! SR, of course! What else? [COMPLETE!]
seven-percent by AngelicSentinel
Summary: Ran finds out at the worst possible time Shinichi is Conan. Now she's got to break them both out of the Black Organisation's lab, but time is running out.
The Mystery of Conan Edogawa by funvince
Summary: Ran Mouri is tired of the lies and evasions. She is determined to get to the truth behind her little house guest once and for all. But is she really prepared for what she may find?
Ran isn't an Idiot! by Baekho0123
Summary: What if Ran knew the truth right away? What if she knew who Edogawa, Conan really is? How much will that change?
Kudo Will Die by Ichthyophobia
Summary: Kogoro finds out. Conan, miraculously, survives the revelation. But only because Ran should get to kill him first.
The Gift of Love by EsTeLweNadia
Note: happens after the reveal
Summary: AU – After the defeat of the Black Organization. Sometimes, the greatest gifts of love come in small packages. Shinichi/Ran.
Feel What You Know by impossibleorimprobable
Summary: They killed her. They killed Mouri Ran. High school detective Edogawa Conan grew up cold, ruthless, and brilliant as ever. With his help, police took down the biggest crime syndicate in Japan. In the ashes, they found a child that bore too much resemblance to a girl that should have died ten years ago. The truth must come out. But at what cost?
OTHER FICS
The Case of the Missing Detective by Krista Perry
Summary: On hiatus, NOT dead. Please see my profile for details. ) A former member of the Black Org wants the secret of eternal youth and immortality, and he thinks he can get it by kidnapping Conan. Conan begs to differ.
The Darkness Inside by Akrim
Summary: Aoko receives a bunch of foreboding messages. It could be a prank but she still decides to consult with Kudo Shinichi - just in case it was not a prank. But it's Ran instead with whom she decides to decode these messages. But things are not what they seem and soon they have spun a web of lies, secrets and danger.
SIDE NOTE: if I can find more of the fics which is under a pile of files I've kept for so long. I will edit, feel free to add your comments and suggestions!
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justhere4kpop · 1 year
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Forever
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Wooyoung x Single Mom! Reader
Your life gets flipped upside down when you take a new backup dancer job at KQ Entertainment, you lied in your interview how will you get out of this one?
Genre: Mostly Fluff, Some Angst.
Warnings: (?) Angst, Mentions of cheating, self-doubt, and arguing.
w/c: 8715
a/n: Ahhh the longest one I've written so far!!! Oh god, I really hope it's good and that you guys like it, I've never written anything this long and I'm so scared to post it hahaha. I feel like even as long as it is it might feel a little rushed. I have no idea....it took me a long time to write anyways so any and all feedback is welcomed. Okay AH! Enjoy, please!
tags: @cromernet @starillusion13, @jaehunnyy (for you Chippie)
Masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I don’t get to brush my teeth before breakfast. Today was a really important day for me though and I absolutely could not bring my screaming toddler to my first day as a backup dancer at KQ Entertainment.
“What do you think Sweet Pea? Pancakes for breakfast?” I looked at her. “How about some fruit too? Grapes, Cantaloupe?” she smiled.
“Mama!” she pointed at the plate.
“I know I know they’re coming.” I flipped the stove on and kept brushing my hair. This is what I get for letting her try to braid it last night. “I knew I should’ve prepped last night.”
Of course, the day was going to be crazy, I’m a ball of anxiety there’s no way I couldn’t be.
“Do you like the melon today? It’s in season so it should be nice.”
“Juicy.” she smiled. “I like it!” she raised it in the air.
“I’m glad, maybe I’ll get more the next time we go to the grocery store.” I ate with her and wiped her mouth when it got to be too much.
“Are you excited to hang out with grandma today?” I picked up her plate so we could go wash dishes together.
“Grandma is coming?” she looked at me.
“Yes, are you excited?” I looked down at her and pulled her step stool up since she insists she can ash her own dishes.
“Mmmmm I dunno.” she shrugged and I chuckled.
The doorbell rang.
“Hi Mom, thanks for watching her again.” I sighed opening the door a two-year-old attached to my hip. “Saja, say hi to grandma.” I nudged her and she hid behind my shoulder. My shy little girl.
“Oh still shy as ever I see. Does she talk to anyone?” my mom chuckled.
“She’ll talk to me, especially when she gets upset…she’s just nervous around people. In fact, we were just talking about you coming over.”
“Oh, how fascinating.” she smiled.
“Okay let me just show you around really quickly to make sure you know where everything is. It’s been a while since you traveled here and I really appreciate it.”
I gave her the tour around the apartment, sure it wasn’t big but it was enough to stress me out, and have trouble keeping clean. Important numbers on the fridge, obviously call me if there’s an emergency. Snacks in one cabinet, dry food in another, what she likes and doesn’t so far, what she likes to do all day, hopefully, if the weather is nice they can go to a park. I went to get ready while Saja was distracted and put my bag together.
“Where we going?” she asked and patted my bag by the front door reaching for her shoes.
“Unfortunately today Pumpkin you have to stay with grandma while Mama goes to her first day of work.” I pushed the hair out of her eyes.
“But-”her eyes gazed over. “But I wanna go.” she pouted and big tears started forming.
“It’s just like that time that mama had to drop you off at daycare for the first time sweet pea, remember how much fun that turned out to be. You met Junie, and Kiri.”
“But I no want mama go.” she hiccuped.
“I know baby, I’ll be back before you go to bed I promise. Probably even before dinner ok.” I hugged her and spun her around. “It’ll be hard today, but easy tomorrow ok? Just gotta trust me.”
“Otay.” she wiped her eyes. “Promise come back?”
“I promise. I’m not ever leaving you.” I kissed her forehead.
And so that’s how the first day of the rest of my life began. I got to KQ, nearly died from exhaustion on how much they taught us that first day, raced home to be there for my kid before she went to sleep, and did it again for months, some days it was picking her up from daycare, sometimes my mom would take care of her. Of course, I made some work friends who wanted to hang out but I couldn’t… I can’t just go drinking after practice, I have to get home to watch the new episode of Octonauts, read bedtime stories, and make sure her “homework” (coloring.) is done.
“Oh come on y/n, come out with us.” Jaeun begged.
“I-I really can’t, I have to get back home.”
“What do you have a kid or something?” he teased.
“S-Something yeah. I um…just a tight schedule and I’m trying to make ends meet.”
“Oh second job?” Eun suggested.
“It’s just important and I can’t just…I don’t really have free time. I’m sorry, I really do want to but I have so much to do…” I bowed. “Thank you really. I appreciate it every time you ask me. I’ll see you around.”
I started to leave when a voice spoke up next to me.
“Nice work today y/n.” came the calm cool voice of none other than Jung Wooyoung.
“Th-Thank you Mr.Wooyoung.” I said again with a bow.
“Maybe they can’t convince you out but could I?” he quirked an eyebrow…..Is he flirting with me?
“I’m s-sorry I really have to go.” I picked up my bag and left. Did Jung Wooyoung just talk to me….and ask me out? Are you kidding me? I can’t get…I can’t.
“Mama.” called out the small voice waiting by my front door.
“Hi baby.” I picked her up and smiled once more. “I missed you too.”
“You look upset.” my mom said looking me over.
“It’s ok Mom, maybe later.” I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Saja. “For now, let me see what you learned today?”
“Color!” she ran over to the table after I set her down and started telling me the names of the colors.
“Wow look at you my smart girl.” I smiled and looked at the drawing she made of the rainbow. “Definitely going on the fridge today.”
“Yay!” she smiled and went to pick out the magnet for the drawing.
“I got asked out for drinks again.” I sighed.
“I would’ve watched her honey, you can go.”
“It wasn’t just by my coworkers this time…it was one of my bosses….I don’t know I’ve maybe bumped into him like 3 times but I haven’t really ever had a conversation with him and I…I couldn’t say yes.”
“Why not, it’s been a while since you had a date.”
“Mom I’m not really…dating material…I have a kid and…I don’t know.”
“y/n, you should try it…just…take a chance.”
“Maybe….I’ll…I’ll think about it mom.”
“I just want you to be happy kiddo, and to not feel so alone.”
“I’m never alone…but it would be a little nice to…think about some help…Mom he doesn’t want kids! What am I even saying.” I sighed.
“This one!!!” Saja ran back in with a rainbow magnet for her rainbow drawing. “I want dis one.” she smiled.
“Okay that one it is.” I smiled and took her rainbow to hang it up. “And so now which one is your favorite color?”
“Yellow.” she smiled.
“Good choice.” I kissed her head. “Come on let’s get ready for bed.”
I got her into her yellow duckie pajamas, we washed our faces, and we brushed our teeth and read together, she’s trying new words but also told me what color each things were. My smart girl.
“Goodnight Princess.” I whispered and kissed her head leaving the room.
“y/n.” my mom called me over. “I really want you to think about having fun with your friends.”
“I will mom…I…They don’t know I have a kid and I just, I don’t know wouldn’t it just be weird I’m suddenly the mom friend.”
“Honey, you already act like a mom because you’ve always been the mom friend.”
“I just don’t want to get hurt again….I don’t want Saja to get hurt again.” I looked back at her door.
One year ago, it was raining, I’d just gotten fired from my job for falling asleep in a meeting because my good-for-nothing partner wouldn’t take care of his own child at 2am. I came home to a screaming Saja, no furniture except her bed and mine, and a letter on the counter with photos of my worst fear….he was cheating on me this whole time. At least he had the decency to leave his keys. I was so scared I called my mom and that night I did the only thing I could hold onto my screaming one-year-old and cry too. I just wanted the best for her, unplanned or not she deserved as much love as I could give her. In some small ways, she tried too, if she saw me having a bad day after I couldn’t find a job she’d offer me a snack, if I fell asleep while we were together she’d curl up next to me and stay put so I could sleep. She was truly one of the best things if not the best thing to happen to me. I just wish I could give her a good life where she doesn’t have to worry about things at 2 years old…she shouldn’t see me cry already. Now the opportunity was knocking on my door, figuratively of course…Just the prospect of a date was terrifying, could I really let someone in like that again?
Jung Wooyoung is nothing but consistent…consistently a pain in my ass, he really doesn’t quit I mean at first it was every other day he’d ask if I was busy after work, but now it’s twice a week…he won’t stop…He’s famous, he’s…he’s an idol he wouldn’t want anything to do with me if I said I had a kid. He’d leave me alone…can I really expose myself like that? What if I get fired? I really need this job…Christ, what am I going to do? Just keep saying no he’ll give up and move on. Right.
“Oh you’re just mad someone actually said no to you Wooyoungie.” San teased his best friend as he pouted at another failed date attempt.
“It’s the way she carried herself, and that she always looks after the others, I mean I’ve seen her make sure everyone has water before drinking herself, and if someone looks unwell she’s the first one to check on them.” Wooyoung groaned flailing on the couch.
“Didn’t know you had a thing for moms.” Hongjoong chuckled.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s a total mom friend making sure everyone else is taken care of.” he smiled at the younger one, rejection never looked so good on someone.
“You could’ve just dated Seonghwa if you were into that.” Mingi spoke up.
“He’s not my type.” Seonghwa flipped the page he was reading.
“No you’re not my type! I’m everyone’s type!” Wooyoung stood up flabbergasted by the thought. “Jung Wooyoung is everyone’s type.”
“Just don’t catch a harassment case.” Seonghwa sighed. “I like her a lot, she’s kind.”
How could she say no to Jung Wooyoung so many times, he’s charming, handsome, funny, super attractive, sexy, cute, hilarious, and a dance machine. Maybe he should start with…
“How about lunch?” Wooyoung smiled.
“Hmm?” I looked up at him.
“Come get lunch with me.” he nodded.
“Oh um I-”
“You never want to do anything after work so why not during, we get a long enough break, I’ll even buy for being a pain in the ass so much.”
“Really Mr. Wooyoung I’m flattered but I have my own, it’s alright.”
“You seriously have to stop calling me Mister, I’m not that old and I’m not even your boss.” he smiled. “Just have lunch with me…us really a group of us are going.”
“I……okay.” I said sheepishly thinking about how much my mom is going to yell at me for not going.
When he said group I wasn’t expecting all of Ateez to be the group. Oh god, do I look okI should really sit like Six feet away just in case there’s cameras and does my breath smell ok?
“Hi y/n!” seonghwa waved. At least he was kind….they all are I don’t know what I’m saying.
“H-Hi Seonghwa.” I flushed and waved back sitting at the small metal table with them, the chairs dragging on the floor causing the shrill sound to ring out.
“Guys this is y/n…the one rejecting Wooyoung.” he smiled.
“Okay so not cool!” Wooyoung yelled. “I finally get her to come down to lunch and you embarrass me.”
Lunch with Ateez was becoming a regular thing, every week now I’d go with Wooyoung and we’d chat and…I almost felt like another member, sure they did this with others but it felt really special…I felt special. Mom was right I do need more friends. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I just let go and got to know Wooyoung. 
“Like a good mother.” Hwa chuckled.
I did a spit take. “Sorry! Just inhaled too much water.” I coughed and my phone started ringing. “Oh sorry I have to take this.” I got up to answer around the corner.
“Mama!” the voice came from the small face on my phone.
“Hi Pumpkin are you having fun with grandma?” I smiled.
“Grandma makes Tteokbokki like you! But not as yummy.” she smiled and held it up.
“Oh? But I learned from grandma so shouldn’t hers be better?”
“Oh now you know it was your grandmother that taught you this recipe, I can’t cook to save my life.” she chuckled.
“And who’s that?” came a voice from behind me.
“Shit!” I jumped and dropped my phone.
“y/n? y/n?” my mom spoke.
“Mama?” Saja called out.
“S-Seonghwa. I-”
“So you are an actual mom?” he smiled.
“N-No I-....I um…it’s my niece and I” I felt the anxiety creep in, I got nauseous and I could taste the bile in my throat.
“Can I see her?” he smiled and sat next to me and picked up my phone but face it away in case I said no.
“Mom I’ll call you back ok. Saja it’s ok.” I smiled lightly at the phone and hung up. “Am I fired?”
“Fired??? For what? Did you steal a water bottle too?” he smiled. “Those are free.”
“No for…for lying about not having a kid.”
“It doesn’t matter that you have a kid pabo.” he picked my face up. “Why’d you hide it?”
“I really needed the job, it’s just me providing and…I didn’t want to be turned down because I have a daughter.”
“I see…y/n you were hired because you are insanely talented and can dance circles around any of those guys, mom or not. I think they wouldn’t have been making you stay so late if they knew, it’s important to be there for a child too.”
“I really need this job Seonghwa.” I felt the tears fall.
“You’re not losing your job honey I promise. It’ll stay between us….only if you let me say hi.” he smiled.
“I…” I picked my phone up and called my mom back. “Hi Mom, um…sorry my um…my boss scared me and he…yeah.” I nervously handed Seonghwa the phone.
“Oh that’s not who I wanted to say hi to hi Mrs. (l/n) you’re very lovely, I wanted to meet y/n jr. though.”
“Oh Saja, come say hi to Mister??”
“Seonghwa.” he smiled waiting for the small child.
“Hi.” Saja said smally as my mom came down to her level with the phone. “Mama??”
“I’m here sweet pea.” I called and peeked over Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Hi baby, what’d you have for lunch?”
“Potatoe.” she said getting quite shy at the man looking at her.
“And?” my mom prompted. “We tried pajeon, and Kimchi for the first time.”
“Kimchi?” Seonghwa smiled, “how exciting. Did you like it?”
“Spicy.” she frowned.
“Maybe we’ll try radish Kimchi she likes crunchy things.” I nodded. “I should get back to my own lunch honey, anything you want to say to Mr. Seonghwa?”
“......pretty.” she blushed looking away from the phone.
I think Seonghwa short-circuited he nearly dropped my phone.
“I’ll be home after work okay, be good for grandma, bye mom, thank you.” I smiled softly and hung up. “Mr.Seonghwa?”
“You really are ana amazing person.” he smiled and hugged me. “Next time we’re meeting in person.”
“Wouldn’t that be unprofessional?” I questioned.
“I don’t care that little ray of sunshine is getting spoiled by her uncle Seonghwa now.” he smiled.
If Seonghwa could’ve felt the eyes burning into the back of his head at the glare Wooyoung was sending the older man he’d probably be dead. I on the other hand couldn’t process what just happened…everything felt so strange, letting Seonghwa in on my secret…I wasn’t sure I liked it but it was…nice to let something out.
“And what were you two talking about?” Wooyoung questioned as we sat back down.
“Nothing, I was just making sure she was ok.” Seonghwa shrugged like nothing happened.
“Sorry just a weird phone call. I’m okay.” I nodded and looked down at my lunch.
“Aww cute!” Wooyoung pointed out the note Saja had wrote for me. “Where’d you get that.”
“Must’ve came with the wrap, I didn’t notice.” I looked at the scribbles that I’m sure were supposed to be words but what really made me tear up was the heart, it was mishapen and wobbly but it was her.
“Hey? Are you sure you’re okay?” Wooyoung lifted my chin up before the tear hit the paper.
“Yes, I’m ok.” I looked at him and blushed a bright red.
“Promise?” he held out a pinky for me. Saja does the same….
“Promise.” I whispered and let a few tears fall.
That’s where my relationship with Wooyoung took a turn. I noticed the small things at first…the little notes in my bag, the heart on my water bottle, and getting me lunch, or a snack, he always came to talk to me during breaks, and we always sat next to each other if we could during things, bus rides to venues for performances, meetings, anything. It all felt so nice. I felt…happy. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to give him a chance…even just one. 
“Hi cutie!” Wooyoung yelled over the phone as I answered.
“Hi Woo.” I smiled lightly at the phone and walked out to the little patio I had.
“Why so quiet?” he questioned.
“No reason. Just enjoying the peace.” I had just put Saja down and I didn’t want to risk her waking up.
“Listen I was thinking-”
“Isn’t that a dangerous game.” I chuckled cutting him off.
“Come to dinner with me?” he smiled. “Please?”
“I-”
“Before you say no! Just…one chance, look I know you said your ex was terrible and left you with nothing but I just…y/n you’re great, and smart, and wonderful, and beautiful, and…and amazing…please…just one date so I can stop my terrible attempts at flirting. I’m running out of pick-up lines to use on you.”
“Wooyoung I….”I looked back at the apartment and a cool breeze wrapped around me sending a shiver down my spine. It would be nicer to try having someone else around. Was I ready for him to know everything? “Dinner sounds nice. Maybe Friday?”
“Friday.” he smiled, you could hear the grin. The wonderful grin followed by his melodic giggle. 
Maybe we can try again…maybe this time won’t hurt so bad. Maybe he’d stay.
You’re getting too ahead of yourself y/n. Just one dinner, and maybe it’ll be okay from there, just take it one day at a time.
Friday came quicker than I’d like and I still had no idea what to wear, what to do, all I knew was my mom was excited and I felt like I was going to throw up again.
“You know Saja likes watching him perform onstage, she says he moves the most like water.” my mom smiled. “She gets so happy seeing you on the tv.”
“I know…she asks to watch a performance before we go to bed usually.”
“Aren’t you excited?”
“No…I mean I am but, god this could go horribly wrong.”
“But it won’t, I’ve seen the little notes, you have this boy smitten like he’s a teenager.” she chuckled.
“Yeah but eventually I’m going to have to tell him about Her.” I motioned to my daughter.
“How do you know he doesn’t like kids?”
“I didn’t say that, but he has been thinking I’m just some poor single woman this whole time Mom, and I don’t know how to bring that up, Oh hi by the way I’ve been lying to you for 4 months, and actually have a two-year-old, hope that doesn’t change anything.” I groaned and pulled on the black cocktail dress I had picked out.
“Honey, I don’t think it will…you trusted Seonghwa with saying hello.”
“That was over the phone and this is different mom…this is a…potential love interest, you know a maybe boyfriend, Seonghwa is no more than a potential babysitter and even that’s a maybe.”
“I think you should let some people in…it’ll be good for you to have more than just me for her. Also I have plans for tonight”
“I know you’re right mom I just…. MOM!!! And you didn’t tell me!” I groaned and picked up my phone. “Fine.”
“Just giving you an extra push dear.”
“You are…I swear!” I hit dial.
“Hello?” the voice on the other end of my phone croaked out.
“Hey, could you…do me a favor.” I sighed.
“So you want me to meet your daughter, and babysit her while you go on a date with Wooyoung?” Seonghwa questioned me as I stood with him in the hallway.
“Yes…because my mom forced this…”
“How so.”
“She ‘made plans’ or whatever so now I need a babysitter or I have to tell Wooyoung I’ve been lying this whole time.” I sighed.
“Hey hey okay, I’ll do it.”
“I figured since you brought a goodie basket.” I eyed the stuffed animal behind him. “Saja.” I called out coming back inside. “Come meet Seonghwa.”
Seonghwa could barely contain himself waiting to meet my two year old.
“Mama?” Saja hid around the corner.
“Hey sweet pea, it’s okay…remember him, he’s from the tv.” I held out my hand for her and she walked over to hide behind me.
“Hi Saja.” Seonghwa said calmly and in a quiet tone getting down to her level. “I’m Seonghwa, I work with your mama, remember we talk on the phone.”
“....pretty.” she blushed.
“She remembers.” I pat her head. “Why don’t you show Mr.Seonghwa the painting you did.” she nodded and ran to go get her newest art piece and came back over, she stopped and looked between me and him before taking a cautious step forward. 
“Oh my goodness, look at this.” he smiled. “Okay let’s see….a cat?” she nodded. “Wow what a beautiful cat. What’s his name?”
“Rainbow.” she said quietly.
“Rainbow? What a perfect name.” he smiled. “And is mama going to hang it up?” he looked up at me.
“Yes” she smiled and ran off to find the magnet.
“She likes you, I promise, she’s just shy at first.” I breathed. “I have to get going I don’t…want to be late.” I looked at her in the kitchen.
“I promise nothing bad will happen.” Seonghwa tried reassuring me.
“Last time I left her alone with a man he took everything and left.” I brushed him off and grabbed my things.
“Y/n” Seonghwa placed a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up. “I understand, but you deserve some help, and some fun.”
“She’s all I have Seonghwa.”
“Y/n I promise she’s in great care, I wouldn’t dream of hurting either of you.”
I sighed. “Saja. Come give mama a hug please?” she came running over with a new magnet for her cat drawing.
“Where go?” she questioned holding her arms up for a hug.
“Mama is going to go see a friend because she really likes this friend ok? It’s called a date.”
“Date?” she questioned more.
“See when two adults, like mama and her friend like each other more than just friends, which is a very complicated feeling to understand even for adults, they go out to do things together, like eat dinner or watch a movie.”
“Why?”
“To see if they like each other’s company more than other people.” I smiled. “However no one’s company is better than yours sweet pea.” I kissed her nose. “So you stay here and play with Seonghwa and Mama will be back later, like when you stay with Grandma.”
“Are we go on a date too?” she whispered.
“Sure.” I smiled and she was blushing as I put her down. “Have fun okay?”
“Yes ma’am.” Seonghwa smiled and Saja walked back over to her table.
My phone dinged again and I made my way out and downstairs to Wooyoung and his very expensive car.
“Didn’t know you could drive.” I raised an eyebrow,
“Very recent, you look beautiful” he smiled.
“Thank you.” I blushed and he opened the car door for me. “Not so shabby yourself sir.”
“Thank you.” he smiled and closed the door gently and mumbled to himself he told me what he said later was “Wow she looks beautiful.” however I think  “okay rizz master Wooyoung, you gotta work.” sounds more like what he actually said…don’t let him tell you otherwise.
“So I was just thinking a quiet dinner without all the noise from the guys and maybe a walk?” he smiled.
“Sure, I’m just along for the ride.” I nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this so you’re going to have to carry me along.”
“Don’t worry I’ve got you.” he smiled.
Throughout the course of dinner I learned that work Wooyoung, friend Wooyoung, and date Wooyoung are three very different people. He seems different.
“Yeah no order whatever you like.” he smiled and gestured to the menu.
“I’m not used to this kind of stuff.” its usually chicken nuggets and mac and cheese…why am I suddenly craving it…or pizza, I could so go for a pizza right now.
“Well only the best for you.” he smiled nervously. “How am I going to pay for this?!” he thought to himself.
“Right.” I swallowed nervously and looked at the menu. There aren’t even prices listed. “Wooyoung?” I looked up at him over the menu.
“Hmm? Yes, oh did you have a question?”
“Have you ever eaten here before?”
“Oh yeah loads of times!” why am I lying??” 
“What do you recommend?” I blushed a little, I knew he made good money but…I don’t know this seems a bit much.
“Well there’s the uh Hakarl.” he said and pointed. “That’s good and then the Bird’s Nest Soup.” he nodded.
“Oh okay. Why don’t you pick for me, I mean I want whatever you’re having.” I shrugged. He knew what he was talking about.
“I don’t have a clue what I’m saying! What did I even recommend!” he yelled at himself.
When the waiter came back he ordered for us and we left it at that, I finished my glass of wine and looked around at some of the dishes…they all looked interesting…to be kind…I don’t know if I can do this.
“Um excuse me.” I pulled a waiter aside and asked about the dish he had just served. “What did she order?”
“Ah that ma’am is the Bird’s Nest Soup” he smiled. “You see the saliva turns hard-”
“Thank you.” I interrupted and turned back to Wooyoung. Saliva? “Wooyo-”“Y/n” we both said at the same time.
“You go first.” he gestured.
“Wooyoung I really appreciate this but I…I can’t do this…this food is…it’s way too much for me.”
He sighed….here it comes.
“Thank god.” he breathed out. “I really didn’t want to find out what the other thing I ordered is.”
“Can’t we just go get a slice of pizza? Like normal?” I looked down at my hands.
“Please.” he stood up and walked over to our waiter talking to him before handing over his company card and explaining everything. “Let’s go before they bring it out.”
I nodded.
What started off horrible and scary turned into something magic, we found a place by the park close to my apartment and got three sliced of whatever pizza sounded good and just sat in the park. Much more my speed, much more…relaxed.
“I just wanted to impress you.” Wooyoung looks down at the slice of pizza in his lap. “I thought…maybe you’d like it if I took you somewhere special.”
“Who says Pizza isn’t special?” I looked at him but his eyes were turned down to the ground. “Woo?”
“I just….I really like you, especially the more I’ve gotten to know you, you’re kind, and gentle, and just…you’re absolutely wonderful y/n and I really fucked this up tonight.”
“Hey.” I nudged him. “Hey” I said a little more sternly and lifted his chin up to meet his gaze. “I’m still here aren’t I?....I appreciate that you think I deserve some fancy restaurant where we sit 10 feet away from each other and the menus don’t have prices and we’re waited on hand and foot, but…that’s not my speed. I prefer picnics and pizza and bullet train sushi and…fried chicken, and mac and cheese, and stupid little fruit cups.” I smiled at him. “I like it when we have lunch together and we eat ramen or tteokbokki, or even rabokki!”
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for Wooyoung.” I kissed his cheek. “I’m having a great time eating pizza in my favorite park with my second favorite person on the planet.”
“Who’s the first?”
“No one you need to worry about.” I chuckled and blushed.
“Ahhh your mom then.” he smiled. “Thank you…for not letting me feel like I completely fucked this up.”
“Quite the contrary, you’ve shown me that I really mean something to you…I mean that place was faannncyyyy.”
“You do mean something to me.” he looked into my eyes and there was that intensity that he had when he was dancing. The look of “I’m doing this and no one can stop me.”
“Thank you.” I rubbed his cheek.
You know how it goes, he walked me home, I got the third degree from my mom on how it went…except Seonghwa joined in, I tucked my two year old into bed and then…I had a full moment in bed in my pajamas where I squealed and kicked my legs and just…he kissed my cheek and held my hand and and and…pizza. Yeah. I could…I could get used to having Wooyoung.
It was just like any other day, it was warm and sunny, Wooyoung wanted to go out on a date and we decided another park date, kimbap which of course he made, in fact he made all of the food we ate, mandu, rolled omelet, potato salad, some pajeon, and finally because this obviously isn’t enough food for two people he also made my favorite cucumber salad . I really am one special girl. 
“Woo this is too much.” I chuckled looking over at him as he kept bringing out more food.
“Nonsense, you’ll love this.” he smiles but you can tell there’s something bothering him.
“Are you ok?” I looked at him his face tight.
“Yeah, no it’s..it’s nothing I’m fine.” he nodded but he seemed more in his own head now.
“How about next time I’ll make the kimbap? I’ve been told I make it pretty good.” I smiled trying to lighten the mood.
Sure everything was going well, I really like him but I don’t know he seems a little distant recently and I can tell something is bothering him. I…
“Woo?” I said putting down my things. “You know we can talk about things right?”
“I….y/n…I….” he started and closed his mouth a few times. “What’s your relationship with Seonghwa?”
“Seonghwa? I don’t know…friends I guess. I mean I can certainly feel safe around him.” I looked at him confused.
“I know…what I’m about to say is…I know…Are you…Are you cheating on me?”
“What no?!” I looked at him incredulously. “Cheating?? Wooyoung I would-”
“Then why is it that you drop everything when he calls?” he looked at me getting a little teary eyed. “Why is it that when he calls you leave the room? Hmm? What private conversation can’t Wooyoung hear?” he was getting upset.
“Wooyoung it’s not like that-” I started.
“Well then how is it y/n! Because it certainly seems like you two aren’t just friends!”
“Woo please listen to me.” I said my voice quivering a bit. “Please take a breath and listen.”
“Then start explaining…I thought it was me and only me.”
“It is!”
“I saw you together!!” he stood up angrily.
“He’s just my friend Wooyoung I swear nothing more!” I looked at him, my own tears blurring my vision. “Wooyoung I would never cheat on you I swear, please just listen to me!”
“So you can lie about-”
“Mama?” a small voice called out. 
Fuck.
“S-Saja!” Seonghwa’s voice called out.
“Seonghwa?” Wooyoung looked over at his friends familiar voice. “What are you doing with a child?”
“Mama!” Saja threw herself into my arms hugging me tightly. “Hi!”
“H-Hi sweet pea.” I looked at her and moved her hair lightly, I could feel Wooyoung looking at the scene before him. “Wooyoung, this is Saja…my…daughter.”
“Daughter? Are you two-?”
“No! Wooyoung I’m just…I just babysit while you two go out.” Seonghwa looked at him.
“Is she yours?” Wooyoung looked at the child and then back to Seonghwa.
“No.” I said and held her closer. “She’s my ex’s…he left…Seonghwa just…he found out I had her and I needed someone to look after her because I really wanted to go out with you but I…” I felt like I could throw up.
“Wooyoung did…I wouldn’t do something like that to you.” Seonghwa looked at the younger male, anger burning behind his pupils.
Wooyoung looked between us grabbing his things.
“Wooyoung, don’t leave…you’ll regret it if you do.” Seonghwa warned the younger male. I covered Saja’s ears.
“Well what was he supposed to think Seonghwa…afterall I drop everything when you call, I go to you when I don’t know what to do, I call you late at night because she’s crying.” I shrugged. “I would think the same….Maybe I should go.” I moved to get up but Wooyoung stopped me before I could get further.
“No.” he looked at the blanket. “Don’t.”
“Saja why don’t you and Hwa go play.” I looked at her and kissed her forehead.
“Hwa Hwa!!! You It!” she got up and ran away.
Wooyoung sat back down and folded his hands together in front of me.
“Wooyoung I…This isn’t how I wanted it to go.” I looked away from him. “I promise there is nothing go on between us other than he’s my babysitter…I think of him as my older brother honestly. I have feelings for you and you only.”
He stayed quiet before nodding and looking over at Seonghwa and Saja playing.
“Why’d you lie y/n? About…her?”
“No one would hire a single mom…I needed the money before she got kicked out of preschool and we lost our apartment so I begged my mom to come help take care of her just until I had enough that I could come clean about it.”
“We have plenty of parents I don’t understand.” he looked at me.
“By the time I finally got to KQ I had been turned down so many times I-I-I panicked it was the only thing I could think of and I was desperate and they..you were all so kind and I-” tears rushed down my face. “And then you showed up and everyone else and then Seonghwa found out and I got scared and you kept asking me out and making me smile and…this isn’t how I wanted you to meet. I wanted you to meet her please.”
He stayed quiet and I wiped my face, before I knew it he brought me into him and rubbed my back.
“I really have made an ass out of myself haven’t I?” he whispered into my hair.
“I understand where you’re coming from though Woo really.” I held onto him.
“Tell me everything.” he asked
I told him our backstory, how my ex left, cheated, basically robbed me, how Hwa found out, I told him what I could and he listened.
“I’d really like to meet her if you let me.” he picked up my face and cupped my cheek. “I promise I’ll listen better.”
“Woo it’s not your fault, what were you supposed to think.”
“That my girlfriend wouldn’t cheat on me.” he squeezed me a little. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too…..I’d really like for you to meet her.” I looked at him. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”
“Whenever you’re ready.” he brushed my hair back often like I do for Saja. “Some times…things work out differently than we want them to.”
“Are you still mad?” I asked.
“I’m still….trying to figure out why.” he sighed. “It makes sense but…I just…I.”
“You can be upset Wooyoung, its a big thing I hid from you.” I shied away from him.”Does it change how you feel about me?”
“I don’t know…maybe? I….I mean-” he looked up at me and I knew he could see it, the heartbreak on my face, I never was good at hiding it. “No baby I-”
“No…no it’s fine Wooyoung…” I moved off him. “I wouldn’t…” I stood up and turned away from him. “I wouldn’t feel the same about me either, it’s probably why I got rejected from everything else.” probably even why he left in the first place. “We’ll just go.”
“No baby, stay. We can have lunch, I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded.
“Mama? Can I has water?” Saja came over tired from playing.
“Here!” Wooyoung jumped up and opened a bottle for her. “I made all this food would you like a snack?”
She looked at me and I nodded and we sat back down only this time apart.
“Y/n.” Seonghwa looked at me.
“It’s nothing.” I turned away from both of them to pay attention to my daughter. “It’s just me and Saja.”
Seonghwa looked over at Wooyoung who looked down at the blanket and pushed food over to us before looking to Seonghwa and away again.
“Saja what do you say?”
“Gram…Sa…Ham…Mama what was it?” she looked at me. “Oh! Hamyida!”
“Good.” I chuckled and wiped her face. “We’ll get going now, thanks for running into us Seonghwa…It was nice to meet you.” I got up and helped Saja up before starting our walk home.
“Mommy?” Saja looked up at me.
“Yes sweet pea?” I stopped.
“Why you look sad?”
“Oh don’t worry angel, I’m okay. I just really thought it’d turn out different.”
“Like what?” she questioned. Every the curious two year old.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about Saja.” I picked her up.
“Can we play with Hwa Hwa tomorrow too?” she yawned.
“I’ll ask him later baby. Let’s get you home.”
I got her home, and of course, she was asleep on me when we walked in. I put her down and sat by her bed, I couldn’t stop the tears that came down my face. I thought everything would work out this time, I thought that maybe…maybe one day he’d be here too…maybe she’d go to sleep and we’d stay up and watch a movie together, maybe we’d play games, or have friends over, or…it was always too much to ask. Too much for me to be happy. Not even a text when I walked through the door. Was this really over?......I’ll turn in my resignation on Monday. 
Monday came and went but my computer screen remained blank, I didn’t want to write a resignation letter it’s only been a few months but, I loved my job, I loved the guys, my friends….I loved him. I called in sick I just couldn’t see him, of course by now Seonghwa and Wooyoung had told CEO Kim who asked if there was anything he could do, if Saja was sick or anything. No. There was nothing anyone could do.
“Mama again!” Saja called out pointing to the finished episode of Paw Patrol. I replayed it for her and pulled myself into the chair more, staring at the blank document.
“Saja I’m going to the potty, don’t answer the door like usual ok?”
“Otay!” she smiled and sang along to the theme song.
I just wanted to splash some cold water on my face, something to get it out of my system.
“Hi!” I heard Saja yell from the living room.
“Saja? I told you-”
“Hwa Hwa!!!” she screamed and I ran out to see two men standing in my now open doorway.
“Sorry, I used the spare key.” Seonghwa flushed and spun Saja upside down.
“Why are you here?” I stood there wanting to grab my child from them.
“Baby I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded. “Please can we talk.”
“No, it’s fine. You don’t need to apologize.”
“I do. Please.”
I pushed him out into the hallway and closed the door.
“Wooyoung you shouldn’t…you made it clear how you felt.” I looked away from him.
“No I didn’t because that wasn’t how I felt. That isn’t how I feel y/n.”
“Then how do you feel, because I think “I don’t know if they changed” after that means anything different but it-”
“It didn’t change how I felt okay! I…I panicked…I freaked out because I…You have a kid and sure I love little kids, I love Kyungmin, I love babysitting, and I love playing dress up and tag and…I really love them you know I do, but…it was scary. I no longer had to impress just you I’d have to impress your daughter, I’d have to figure out how to…be a good role model and…take care of her and I’m just a cool uncle or big brother I’ve never had to…be a parent.”
“You’re not her parent Wooyoung.” I crossed my arms. “And how do you think I’m going to feel! We Slept-” I quieted down. “You were the first person I’ve slept with since I had her and you just……..I’m her parent Wooyoung.”
“Yes but we’re dating, so that means I need to be there for her too, because you don’t just date the one person, that’s the most important person in your life I can’t just…I have to be a good example. None of it changed how I felt about you, after you two left I just wanted to do it all over again, I wanted to ask you on a picnic and play tag and push her on the swings and..please believe me y/n, I want to try again. I feel so stupid ok, I have real genuine feelings for you and I hurt you I know I did, I just…one more chance baby please. I’m sorry y/n please. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing if you just give me one chance to make it up to you.”
I sighed. “It’s not up to just me Woo….give me two seconds.” I walked back inside and he stayed in the hallway. “Saja?”
“Hi mommy!” she called out from the couch where she was giving Seonghwa a makeover. “Princess Hwa Hwa.” she smiled.
“Oh how lovely.” I smiled and looked at Hwa…I need a photo. “One photo so we can remember your masterpiece?”
“You can take ONE photo. Make it count.” Seonghwa looked at me and I took a photo of him and Saja.
“Saja honey?” I came down to her level. “Would you like to meet mommy’s friend from the other day? The one with all the food.”
“Yeah!” she smiled. “The one mommy likes!”
“Yes, the one mommy likes.” I smiled. “Come on.”
I carried her to the door and took a breath, everything was going to change once I opened this door.
“Ready!” she called out. Ok.
I opened the door half expecting Wooyoung to dart…thank god he was still there when I opened my eyes.
“Saja, this is Wooyoung.” I looked at him. “Wooyoung this is my daughter, Saja.”
“Hi!” she smiled and waved.
“Hello Saja.” he smiled back. “It’s very nice to meet you.” He pulled a flower out from behind his back.
“Where did you-?” I looked at him.
“Flower!” she smiled and took it. “Mommy likes a maggisin!”
“Would you like to come in for coffee.” I looked at him.
“I would love to.” he smiled
This was it, Wooyoung was entering my life, he was seeing the real me and my daughter. I set Saja down to go play with Seonghwa but she stayed and talked to Wooyoung, she showed him all the pictures she drew and all the things she did for pre-school, he smiled and listened the whole time. He helped with a snack since she was getting hungry and he even let her do his hair, and for once in the past 7 months I’ve known him, I could finally breathe. It felt as though a weight has been taken off my chest and I could actually let him see me, the real me. It felt good. It felt so fucking good.
Wooyoung is a wonderful partner, truly. Saja loves him, she’s started calling him every night before bed if he isn’t here to tuck her in, she likes to tell him about her day, he plans dates with all three of us and sometimes even just the two of us, the guys have slowly been introduced to her and they all claim to be her favorite uncle (we all know its Seonghwa). Wooyoung has been maybe slowly moving in slightly, his stuff appears more and more, and what do you know he’s usually attached to it, and now, almost a year later her birthday was coming up and I had no idea what to do.
“Okay I know it her birthday but I was thinking we could bring her to work and surprise the guys for a birthday party?” he rubbed my cheek, the soft sunlight drifting in for the morning.
“She would like it, especially if San and Hwa were there, and Mingi, she likes being tall.” I kissed the palm of his hand.
“I’m sorry.” he said and looked at me fondly.
“For what?” I questioned.
“For everything. For being ignorant, and stupid. For-”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing for that.” I held his wrist gently.
“I told you I’m apologizing for it every day.” he kissed my nose.
“Good Morning!” Saja called out and climbed into the bed and on top of Wooyoung. “Wooyoungie!”
“Hi Princess good morning.” he smiled and kissed her head. “Did you sleep well?”
“From the looks of her bed head I’d say so.” I chuckled.
“Well I better get those pigtails back in before Hwa Hwa sees you then hmm?” Wooyoung lifted her up and got up to go to the bathroom with her.
“Woo?” he turned around. “It’s a great idea.” I smiled. He smiled back and nodded.
As I made breakfast Wooyoung made sure they got their morning ritual done, you always have to dance in the morning if you want your day to go well according to him. Saja likes spending time with him and frankly, this past year it’s been so nice to not feel like a single parent.
“Okay and 1,2,...3 and 4. Good! Okay Okay. shh shh.” Wooyoung spoke. “Eomma!!” he called out.
“Yes?” I peaked around the corner.
“Saja wants to show you something.” he smiled and nodded for her.
He started playing the music to Case 143, the chorus specifically and she looked like she was going to do it but then turned to Wooyoung and looked scared.
“I can’t” she whispered. He stopped the music and got down to her level.
“Hey hey what’s wrong princess?” he scooped her up.
“I can’t do it.” she sniffled.
“Of course you can.” he smiled. “You practiced hard with me while eomma was busy.”
“Too hard.” she looked away from him.
“I think she’s just nervous to do it alone Woo.” I looked at him and gave him a small smile.
“Do you want me to do it with you princess?” he pushed her hair back.
“Want Youngie do it too.” she whispered to him.
“Wooyoungie will do it too.” he nodded. “Okay? Together?” this time it was her turn to nod.
He started the music over and set her down.
She looked at him as they started and even though she was shy she saw him do it and knew he meant it when he said he’d do it with her. It gave her the boost she needed to do it too. Before my eyes here she was trying her best to dance along to Case 143 by Stray Kids and for an almost 3-year-old, she did a great job.
“Oh sweet pea that was amazing!!” I scooped her up and kissed her face. “Such a good dancer.” I smiled.
“Like Appa!” she smiled and pointed to Woo. I stumbled a little.
“O-Okay breakfast time.” Wooyoung clapped and took Saja and sat at the table to eat breakfast. “Baby? Come eat ok?”
“Y-Yeah.”
We’d talk about it…after breakfast.
“I’m sorry.” Wooyoung confessed. “She started calling me that last week when I was watching her when you had to stay late with Yunho and I didn’t correct it but she knew you would be scared if you heard and-”
“Is that what you want?” I looked at him. “Is this what you want? You know you can’t leave if she starts calling you that.”
“You are what I want y/n. Nothing else. Just this.” he nodded, I’ve never seen him look so serious. “I may be young and handsome, but I-I I can be a dad too.”
“Are you sure?” I held his hand and he gave me a firm squeeze.
“I’m sure.” he nodded.
“Of course you taught her how to dance.” I wiped my face and chuckled.
“She’s got quite a talent, I think she picked it up from her mom.” he smiled and kissed my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere..in fact, I was waiting until her birthday but…Maybe it’s time I…move in?”
“And what else could you possibly bring over…You already live here.” I smiled and kissed him.
“I have some other things.” he chuckled and kissed me back.
“I love you Jung Wooyoung.” I smiled and held onto him.
“And I love you l/n f/n.” he smiled back and held my hips.
Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I wake up in the arms of my loving boyfriend, sometimes with no clothes, and sometimes I wake up to the sight of my daughter getting ready for the day with her two favorite people, I see a smile on her face as her appa cries dropping her off for school, I see the joy on her face when the guys come over and San talks to her about her day, I see my daughter being surrounded by more love than I could ever ask for. Surrounded by her 7 uncles and her appa, better than I could’ve asked for. 
Sometimes I wake up to the biggest smile I could ever see, more radiant than the sun, and I know this is all real. Wooyoung is real, and he’s here Forever.
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writeradamanteve · 2 years
Text
Anthony Lockwood Examination Post
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So much of the deleted scenes have been such a delight, and many of them I’d wished they’d kept, this montage with Lockwood included, but when I first saw this scene, my heart did hurt.
I looked at this exact snapshot and saw the face of depression.
He’s lying in bed with his eyes open, and we know he doesn’t get enough sleep. He is willing himself to get up at that very moment, and when he does, it’s routine for the next hour it takes him to prepare:
He gets out of bed, puts on the same clothes, and when he’s staring at the mirror, he puts on his face—not makeup, but—: that disarming smile, that sparkling charm, and the bold confidence.
He steps out of his room and gives that unopened door one flight up—a pedestal, really—a half-expectant look:
Any minute now she’ll walk through that door.
Then
Oh, right. She won’t. She’s dead.
And he moves forward, as he always does.
He files that hurt away as he joins George and Lucy at the kitchen, thinking about the many ways to grow the business, outsmart Fittes, and get bigger clients/more prominent cases.
He makes plans, giving safety and caution a cursory thought. His agents are smart, they are good at what they do. George will tell him if there’s anything they need to know. Lucy’s razor sharp intuition, conviction, and more than adequate skill with a rapier bolsters his confidence on the field.
Then when they’re all there, fighting for their lives, that little voice he had ignored all this time will ring in his ears and the rare panic attack would consume him. When he staves off the panic attack, regret would inevitably settle in when the danger was passed.
Lucy is the one that either pulls him together or vehemently calls him out, and then he couldn’t bear it, having her angry at him.
There’s something about Lucy that propels him to do better. George does not have this immediate effect because George doesn’t storm off and he never turns his back on Lockwood. Lockwood knows George will bend a long while, and Lockwood knows just enough when to appease George to snap him back. Lucy is not as patient. Lucy does not hesitate, because Lucy knows that her hesitation once got her friends killed and that was not going to happen again.
The danger of dying does not scare Lockwood as much as it should, at least not in The Screaming Staircase/The Whispering Skull/Lockwood & Co. Season 1.
He was, until Lucy, too reckless. Lucy has managed to talk him down to “just reckless enough”. She also impressed upon him that he had a responsibility to stay alive because if anything happened to him, she and George would be devastated, and if there was anything that motivated Lockwood more than winning a case at all costs, it was to spare Lucy and George any suffering. He could not bear the thought of Lucy or George getting hurt, especially because of him.
Before Lucy, he was numb, his ability to truly love dormant, but she woke him up, and I’ll tell you exactly when Lucy first punched a hole through that barrier.
In the Netflix series, I think it was the possession scene, and there were about dozens of moments where we saw it happen over and over again, but IN THE BOOK, The Screaming Staircase, it was after the well was exploded in Combe Carey Hall.
I knelt by him, brushed the ash from his forehead.
His eyes opened. He looked at me with a clear, unclouded gaze.
I cleared my throat. “Hi Lockwood…”
Awareness returned. I saw bafflement first, then gradual recognition.
“Oh… Lucy.” He blinked, coughed, and tried to sit up. “Lucy. For a moment I thought you were… It doesn’t matter. How are you, Lucy? You’re okay?”
This scene, knowing what I know now, is exactly the moment Lockwood remembered what it was like to be loved again. He thought she was you-know-who, and then he realized she wasn’t, but oh, it wouldn’t be the last time Lucy would remind him what it was like to be loved and looked after.
Lucy knew it, too, in her bones, even if she didn’t identify it, and—poor George, he saw it. He even said he saw it.
I stood abruptly. “Yes, I’m fine.”
George was watching me through cracked spectacles. “I saw that.”
“What?” I said. “Saw what? Nothing happened.”
(Lucy, so guilty)
“Precisely. Where was his slap in the chops? Where was his firm shaking? There’re double standards at work here.”
Ah, George.
So Lockwood isn’t exactly suicidal. The danger is there, but he won’t perform the act for its own sake, he just, until the events of the Bone Glass, convinced himself that his priorities were: defeating Visitors and Lockwood & Co. besting everyone else.
It was an easier focus than the dread of losing the people he cared about, yet again.
Thankfully, Lucy and George are setting him on a different journey.
So in a way, George is wrong. Lucy does slap Lockwood awake, just in a different way.
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itsswritten · 7 months
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Could you share your favourite fics with us on here please? I trust your opinion!!
Oooo yessssss! OMG where do I start, there are sooooo many amazing writers on here!! Im not sure I’ll get to everyone in this post, so I’m just going to share the series that I’m currently reading/or have read recently. And then I’ll do another post for everyone else I’ve missed 🤍
Okay so there’s my girl @illyrianbitch !! I devour anything she writes, and I’m loving her current series ‘Beneath the Ashes of Our Broken Oaths’ (Az x reader) 🥹 it’s so so so good! Everything she writes is amazing, she also wrote for Cassian recently, and its converted me to a Cass lover! 😍 Go read her masterlist asap! 🩵
Of course there’s @pellucid-constellations she’s the one who actually got me back into acotar!! I originally found her through her BEAUTIFUL Bucky pics (so any marvel lovers should head over, because her Bucky masterlist is a dream 🤤) and then she started writing for Azriel, I quickly realised I needed to find out who this character was. Now I’m on acosf and well… I’m truly obsessed! She has an amazing series called ‘If It All Fell’ (Az x reader) that is currently in progress and I really encourage you to go give it a read, along with everything else she’s written! 🩷
I LOVE @florencemtrash , if you are not reading their ‘The Shadowsigner and the Inkbird’ series (Az x reader, you can see there’s a theme 👀 I love Azriel) then you are missing out! The latest chapter was an absoutle killer, I’m still recovering! 🥲 But GO GO GO!! It is truly a masterpiece! 💛
@assassinsblade has some truly beautiful work as well! ‘Forget me not’ was how I found her, and it’s beautiful. ‘Arrows and Ashes’ had me in the feels for sure! Truly incredible, she’s also written something recently for Eris which was just *chefs kiss* 💚
I’m also reading @fieldofdaisiies ‘Whispers of the forgotten’ it’s ongoing, and I’m so so so excited to see what happens!!! It’s AMAZING! 💜
There is literally sooooo many other writers on here that I love, and I know I’ve missed so many. I’m a sucker for a series, hence all the series reccs but I need to have a deep dive into all the one-shots, so I can compile and share my faves!
I’m also open to any of your faves too! Let’s spread the love <3
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acescorazon · 11 months
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Buggy x Mihawk x Crocodile prompt: Mihawk and Crocodile's bullying and beatings start taking a toll on Buggy, especially since he's somehow fallen irrevocably in love with both his "business partners". After a incident where Crocodile goes too far and Mihawk actually intervenes to stop him, Buggy falls fully into despair and decides to fully fall into the ocean to certain death. He waits until late at night and sneaks off to the docks. He falls in and expects the end but just as everything goes dark he sees a pair of golden eyes and hands reaching for him. When Buggy opens his eyes again he's very much alive, with Mihawk and Crocodile keeping vigil over him. Mihawk is mighty pissed and Crocodile is uncomfortable in his guilt. They figure things out eventually, messily and all.
Bestie if you didn't read this post, this is for you (as well as some of my other anons/ ppl who sent in requests ) LOL (it explains my shenanigans.)
ANYWAYS!!! Bby your idea...she's giving slow burn...she's giving...make it hurt...She's giving multi-chapter series realness. She deserves so much more than a one shot. She's a star who deserves to shine brightly...and i'm giving her what she deserves LOL. i don't have a title, so fuck it we ball, but consider this a prologue since it just really goes over Cross Guild's past briefly. So for anyone about to read,i'm not telling you how to live your life, but i'm juuuust saying you might want to have read up to like Ch 1082?
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The sounds of canons being fired and screaming can be heard all over the island, and Buggy swears that he’s moments away from having a full blown panic attack. Why now? Why did they suddenly decide to abolish the warlord system? Buggy was just starting to enjoy his newfound power and, more importantly, protection. His men keep screaming at him, begging for him to do something because Buggy’s so strong and powerful, and mighty after all. He sailed the sea with Gol. D Rogers, Dark King Rayleigh, and a young Red Haired Shanks after all. He ‘led’ a prison escape after all. He ‘fought’ in the war after all… He’s the one who’s a former warlord of the sea after all…  Buggy must be a formidable foe, right? Buggy must be able to bring him and his men to victory, right? Buggy can take on some marines…right…?
Buggy watches in horror as a fleet of marines attack his battle ships, sinking them, as they gradually begin to encircle the entire island. Oh, they’re doomed. His men are still yelling at him, asking him questions that he can barely process at the moment because he can’t breathe let alone talk.
“Chairman Buggy, what are your orders, sir?!”
”Chairman Buggy, the marines just sank another one of our ships.”
“Captain Buggy, why are you just standing there?!”
“Chairman Buggy, do something!!”
“Captain!!!”
Buggy’s…Buggy’s got to go, like, right now. He can’t handle this. He doesn’t know what to do, this attack happened so fast… He swears the world government abolished the warlord system just this morning, and they already have marines on their ass. He needs off this island before it burns down and he turns to ash with it. He hopes and prays that he still has at least one good ship that he can escape on, and as for his men…
God, Buggy can’t do this. He can’t do this. The amount of men he controls has grown considerably after the war, and he can’t’ confidently say he can evacuate everyone on the island, not that he thinks anyone wants to leave in the first place. His kids are all dedicated and always willing to fight…(Buggy wishes he can say the same.)
Screw it, he’s calling for that evacuation order.
“Chairman Buggy, someone’s attacking the marines!” Someone’s attacking the marines…? Did Buggy have men out at sea that are now returning home and diligently attacking the marines now that they see the island is under attack? Does he have any allies who were conveniently on their way to visit, when they noticed the marines were attacking them? Is this just another group of pirates who noticed the marines and wanted to make a name for themselves, so they decided to attack them while they just so happened to be attacking Emptee Bluffs Island? Who are the heroes saving Buggy and his children?!
“Hey! It’s Crocodile!”
“Chairman Buggy, Crocodile is here to save us!!”
As soon as Buggy hears that name, his stomach drops. No, why? Why now? Why is this all happening to him now? There’s only one reason why Crocodile would be coming to Emptee Bluffs island, and Buggy…Buggy needs to leave. Forget his men, they’ll be fine, Buggy’s the one whose life is in grave danger. In all honesty, he’d rather be facing the Marines than have to deal with Crocodile’s wrath.
Buggy leaves the tent where he makes all his official announcements to his men, and his men watch him, confused, as he tries to make his escape. Some of them even mindlessly try to follow him, and Buggy doesn’t have the heart to tell the men following him to leave him alone because they’ll just bring unneeded attention to Buggy while he tries to flee. He makes it two, no, three steps out of the tent before he sees him, heading his way. “AHHH!”  Buggy screams at the top of his lungs, instantly, spinning back around on his heels and trying to push through a crowd of men, “Let me through! Let me through!!!” He orders them, trying to get back inside his tent and hide.
“Chairman…What’s wrong…it’s just Crocodile?”  
It is not just Crocodile. Do his men not realize how scary this man is? Do they not realize that their beloved Chairman and Captain is moments away from getting his ass beaten? Buggy forces himself through all the bodies in front of him and rushes back into the tent, but it’s too late.
“Running away, Buggy?” He hears a deep, intimidating voice call out from behind him. Ah, so it looks like this is the end of the road for Buggy, huh…? What does he do now, he doesn’t think he can out run Crocodile…
Beg for mercy?
Buggy slowly turns around, waving nervously at Crocodile, “Uh, hey!” He greets him, voice already shaking as he speaks. He’s going to scream, cry, and vomit, and all in that order. “I wasn’t running away… I was just, uh…” he trails off, unsure of what excuse he could possibly use in this situation because Crocodile saw him make a run for it with his own eyes. He notices belatedly that Crocodile has that other tall, slightly less intimidating but still extremely scary, fellow with him…Daz…? They all escaped prison together, didn’t they? And…There’s also…Mihawk? Why is Mihawk with him?
Crocodile’s cold voice brings Buggy crashing back down to reality, “Whatever. Where’s my money, clown?” Where’s his money…right…Right…the money that Buggy borrowed after the war, and most definitely has right now… That money…
(He’s lucky if he even has money for lunch.)  
Buggy forces a bright smile onto his face, “Y-your money?!” he repeats, trying to buy himself some more time while he figures out an excuse that’ll save his ass. “Well.. You see.. about that…” he’s just about to start babbling bullshit when Crocodile narrows his eyes at him, giving him the nastiest look. Oh! Okay! “Crocodile, please.” Buggy whines, “Look around, I have so many kids to feed…and… and It’s not exactly like business has been booming…and, and…I just lost my biggest money makers…and…”
Buggy’s never been one to admit his failures,  but this is a matter of life or death, and truth be told, Buggy’s delivery service hasn’t been doing too hot lately, but he just needs a little bit more time! He… He can fix everything, and get Crocodile his money back. “Please, just...Give me a month…” He begs, and Crocodile gives him that look again. Oh, okay! That’s obviously way too much time! “Three weeks, give me three weeks and I’ll have all your money… plus interest…”
Truth be told there’s no way in hell he’d ever be able to repay Crocodile the amount of money he owes him in that amount of time, and he sure wouldn’t be able to pay him interest on top of everything, but he… he just needs an excuse. If Crocodile believes him, then… Then as soon as he gets the chance, he’ll pack up and leave. He’ll dye his hair and change his name, and…
Crocodile scowls at him, “You’re saying you don’t have my money?” Well, no…but, yes… but, no he’s definitely not saying anything like that…what… what he is saying is that he’s broke right now, and just needs a little bit more time… “That’s fine.” Crocodile tells him, despite still having a terrifying look on his face, and there’s a moment where Buggy’s filled with hope.  Is...is his life saved? “I can just sell you.” Crocodile says the words, ‘I can just sell you.’ nonchalantly, and like Buggy isn't human, like…like he’s nothing more but an object, and like his life has no meaning to it. God, what did Buggy get himself into?
“Hey…Hey…Croccy, baby…Hey!” Buggy raises his hands up. Is it hot in here? Is Buggy the only one sweating right now? “We’re friends…remember? We escaped Impel down together remember?!” he stammers, trying to remind Crocodile of all the good times they shared together like….when they… well, uh, there was that one time where they… and then there was that other time when they… Oof.
Buggy is the one using his powers to make himself look ten times bigger than he should actually be right now, but for some reason, he still feels so small especially as he picks up the not so subtle shifts in Crocodile’s expression. He goes from slightly irked, to fully annoyed, to looking like he’s moments away from ripping Buggy to shreds.  “Oh, I remember, but I need my money now. I’m starting a new company and I need that money, clown.” Crocodile announces, and Buggy’s not sure how much longer he has before Crocodile snaps and beats him within an inch of his life. “If you can’t pay me back now, you need to make up for the money you’ve borrowed in other ways. Understand?”
Buggy swallows hard. God, what now? What does he say now? He considers making a run for it again, when all of a sudden an idea forms in his gigantic brain, “Oh!” He exclaims, “I know! I know! I can be your errand boy, or something,” he suggests, “I can work off my debt to you!” Crocodile’s cold, harden expression remains on his face, until Buggy casually stammers out:
“I…I have men who can give your new company the flashiest debut possible! My men can do it all: printing, design, advertisement, you name it…Just please don’t kill me!”
Somehow Buggy survives his encounter with both The Marines and Crocodile…Don’t ask him how, he’s always had the stupidest of luck. It doesn’t matter though, as soon as Buggy gets the okay from Crocodile, he’s looking for the best choice among all his men to design a flyer for their, well, Crocodile and Mihawk’s new company; Cross guild, hm, it’s got sort of a ring to it.
Buggy finds a few of his men and orders them to design and distribute a flyer for Cross Guild, and tells them to make it look flashy…because if it’s not, Buggy can kiss his life and or freedom goodbye.
Okay, that should keep Crocodile off his ass for a couple of days, right…? It’ll take his men a few days to design a breath taking flyer and then distribute it, and then Crocodile will see that Buggy’s actually a really useful guy after all!
That’s how Buggy thought things would go at least.
Buggy’s most devoted followers make a flyer for Cross Guild in a day and a half, taking pride in the fact that they didn’t stop for a break even once during the process, and the results are: Terrifying. As soon as he sees the poster, Buggy knows that he’s doomed and that what little chance he had at surviving and living a somewhat decent life was gone. It’s not like the flyer is poorly designed…it’s just… Buggy’s face is sort of… for lack of better terms... his men made it so that Buggy was in the center of attention while the other two look like an after thought, and that’s…that’s not what he wanted.
Buggy’s just an errand boy!
As soon as he sees Cross Guild’s debut flyer, Buggy feels violently ill again, like he’s going to throw up his breakfast, and he quickly orders his men to redesign the flyer so that Buggy doesn’t get killed, but they...
“Oh, we already distributed it.”
Okay, don’t panic. Don’t panic, maybe there’s time to fix this..or at least run away before Crocodile and Mihawk see the flyer. Buggy exhales a shaky breath, trying to figure out what he’s going to do about this whole flyer situation. Is...is there any way to just…just, make all the flyers go away? No? It doesn’t work like that?
Fuck.
[Next Part]
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lumiolivier · 7 months
Text
So is the Life of a Pirate (2/?)
Series: One Piece
Chapter: 2/?
Word Count: 5039
Rating: T
Pairing(s): Sanji x OC (Reader)
A dalliance six years ago has a funny way of catching up to Sanji when the Straw Hats stop to restock the ship.
[1]
a/n: Wowie! I didn't expect this to get the attention it did, but you guys seem to like it, so I'll keep on posting sporadically like this. Maybe every couple days. Yeah? How's that sound? What about a little angst this chapter? That sound good, too?
Cordelia opened her door and of course, there he was.  She hadn’t known many pirates in her life that she genuinely liked.  But she could always make an exception for her Straw Hats.  Always, “CORDELIA!”
“Luffy!” Cordelia threw her arms around him, “Hi!”
“When Nami said we’d be going somewhere special for dinner tonight,” Luffy gasped, “She didn’t say we’d be coming here.”
“Where else would you go?” Cordelia scoffed, “Best food in Beniville Bay.  Right here.”
“Don’t tell Sanji I told you this,” Luffy kept his voice down, “But his cooking isn’t as good as yours.”
“I know,” Cordelia giggled, “Go on.  Go inside.”
“Thanks!” Luffy walked into Cordelia’s house and found Ash in the middle of the living room with his jaw on the floor, “Hey!  There’s a little kid in here!  Hi, little kid!”
“Luffy,” Cordelia settled him, “Play nice.”
“What?” Luffy squeaked, “I’m not doing anything wrong.”
“There’s…what?” Usopp poked his head around the corner, “Oh, hi, Cordelia!”
“Hi, Usopp,” Cordelia got a hug out of him and a little kiss to her cheek, “Go on.  Go play with him.”
“Awesome!” Usopp slid past her, “Hey, you weren’t lying, Luffy!  There’s a kid here!”
“I’ll go keep them in line,” Nami already walked in.
“Thank you, Nami,” Cordelia leaned against the doorjamb.  Until Zoro came up to her.  And immediately scooped her up in his arms, “Hi, Zoro.”
“It’s been way too long since we’ve seen you, Cordelia,” Zoro practically snapped her spine, “I’m so glad Nami brought us here.”
“Me, too,” Cordelia melted in his embrace.  Until she saw those eyes.  Those eyes that got her hooked all those years ago.  And her heart fell to pieces, “Hey, Zoro?  Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, but…Could you…?”
“Yeah,” Zoro let her go, “I’ll just…Go inside?”
“If it’s not too much to ask,” Cordelia nodded.
“Got it,” Zoro walked inside and closed the door and the living room windows behind him.
And the air went still.  Five years had gone by and Cordelia still couldn’t believe this was the one.  The same one she had fallen in love with all those years ago.  And yet, she sat down on her front step.  And he sat next to her, “Everyone else gets hugs and kisses and I just get the front porch?”
“I figured I’d let you finish your cigarette before you came inside,” Cordelia smiled a bit, “Hello, Sanji…”
“Cordelia…” Sanji put the rest of his half smoked cigarette out on the bottom of his boot before throwing the butt into the gravel.  And immediately, Sanji pulled Cordelia into his arms.  And he didn’t want to let her go, “I missed you so much…”
“I missed you, too,” Cordelia did all she could to not start bawling.  Her knotted up stomach wanted to relax, but it just couldn’t.  Something else weighed far too heavy on her shoulders to even allow her to think about relaxing. 
“Please,” Sanji hoped, “Please tell me I’m not homewrecking here.”
“What?” Cordelia giggled, cuddling into his shoulder “No.  Of course not.  But…Sanji, I have to tell you something.”
“Oh…” Sanji’s eyes fell to the ground, “There is someone.”
“There is,” Cordelia bit the inside of her cheek, “And…I really want you to meet him.”
“Him?” Sanji whined, “Really?  No.  You’re right.  It would’ve been selfish of me to think you would’ve waited for me.”
“Sanji…”
“We had one night together,” Sanji went on, “I’m sure it made an impact then, but…”
“Sanji…”
“Again, it would’ve been selfish of me to think…”
“Sanji,” Cordelia grabbed him by his face and pressed her lips against his, “It’s not like that.  I promise.  Just…Come on.  I already have dinner made.  And I want you to meet him.”
“Fine,” Sanji let out a heavy, dramatic sigh, “But I’m not making any promises.”
“I’m not expecting you to,” Cordelia pushed herself onto her feet, “But-”
“Hey, Cordelia!” Luffy stuck his head out the front window, “Since when do you have a kid?”
Cordelia bit down on her lip, her eyes squeezed tight.  And it took everything she had not to beat Luffy down with a cast iron frying pan, “Since I had him, Luffy.”
“He’s great!” Luffy beamed, beyond thrilled to have a new buddy.
“Hold on,” Sanji froze, “Cordelia…How long has it been since you had him?”
Cordelia knew it was coming.  She knew she’d have to say something eventually.  It was going to be the elephant in the room, but it had to be said, “He’s about to turn five.”
“Oh,” Sanji let it go.  Although, the math started adding up quickly in the back of his head, “And…Is that who you wanted me to meet?”
“You were going to eventually,” Cordelia walked inside with Sanji in tow, “Ash…Come here, baby.”
“Mama!” Ash gasped, running to his mother’s side, “You didn’t tell me how cool you were when you were hanging out with Luffy!”
“They might have been here a week,” Cordelia giggled to herself, “I didn’t realize I made that much of an impression.”
“You liberated an entire ship of trafficked girls and made that ship’s captain walk the plank, Cordelia,” Luffy reminded her, “That’s pretty cool, if I do say so myself.”
“You know what?” Usopp sighed out, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, “It reminds me of this one time when I was in the South Blue.  There was an entire fleet after my ship!  And I knocked all those captains’ heads together like a pendulum!  It was a pretty weird Tuesday.”
“I’m sure it was, Usopp,” Cordelia sat down on her couch and Ash nuzzled himself into her lap, “But yeah.  A lot’s happened since we all saw each other.  I know I’ve already talked about it with Nami this morning, but I do.  This is my son, Ash.”
Ash looked up at her, “We’ve already met, Mama.”
“Thank you, sweetheart,” Cordelia slowed her breathing, already feeling her heart ready to give out, “But I told you I knew pirates.  And now, you can put names to faces.”
Although, Sanji got a good look at Ash.  A very good look at Ash.  He thought for sure he was overthinking things.  So, he let them go, “It’s Ash, right?”
“Mmhm,” Ash nodded, “Is this the pretty cook you always talk about?”
“Ash,” Cordelia’s cheeks turned the brightest red.  And Sanji’s weren’t much better off, “Why don’t you and the others go play in the backyard?  I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.  I could really use your help, Sanji.”
“I’d be happy to,” Sanji agreed, a little smile gracing his face.
“But dinner was ready before they-”
“Asher,” Cordelia stood her ground, “Go outside.”
“Fine,” Ash got up from Cordelia’s lap and ran out the back door.
“Does that mean we get to go play outside, too, Cordelia?” Luffy hoped, “And then, we get food?”
“Yes, Luffy,” Cordelia held her face in her hands, “You, too.”
“Yay!” Luffy started running for the back door, “Come on, Usopp!”
“I’m coming!” Usopp followed, just as excited.
“Zoro, Nami…” Cordelia begged, “Will you two go be the adult supervision?”
“Already on it,” they droned.
“Thank you,” Cordelia took Sanji’s hand, “You get to come with me.”
“Aww,” Sanji teased her a bit, “And I wanted to go outside and play, too.”
“Bullshit, Sanji,” Cordelia rolled her eyes, “I know you better than that.  There’s nowhere you’re more content than in a kitchen.”
“I can think of one other place,” Sanji followed Cordelia into the kitchen and looked across the way at a very familiar bedroom.
“Other than that,” Cordelia shook her head, “Oh, I missed you, Sanji.”
“And I, you, darling,” Sanji kissed her cheek, “But…There’s something I need to ask you.”
“Yes,” Cordelia groaned, “The seal on the oregano jar still hasn’t been broken.”
“That wasn’t it,” Sanji hushed her, “But I will commend you for it.”
“Alright,” Cordelia hopped up on the kitchen counter, “Go ahead.  I know you’re going to ask.”
“It’s about Ash…”
“I figured.”
Sanji looked out the kitchen window into the backyard where Ash, Luffy, and Usopp were running around the big tree, “Where’s his father?”
Cordelia’s stomach dropped to her feet.  Slowly, she settled her mind, “Would you like to hear the story I tell him when he asks?”
“I’d love to,” Sanji sat down at the table.
“I tell him his father was lost to the sea,” Cordelia sighed out, “Which isn’t entirely lying to him.  I tell him his father pulled into this port one day.  We fell in love.  And then, he was gone.  He didn’t stick around long enough to know Ash would come along.  Hell, I wouldn’t even know Ash was coming along until a month and a half later.  So, I always tell Ash the same thing.  I don’t ever tell him his father left us.  Because that would’ve meant his father knowing there was an us and not just me.  But he had me.  And I’m all he’s ever known.  And that’s all that mattered.”
“Until…?” Sanji could see it in Cordelia’s eyes.  There was something she wasn’t saying.  There was something that was killing her.  There was something she wanted to just spit out, but she couldn’t find the words to do it.
“Until…” Cordelia’s voice broke.  But before she could start crying, she cleared her throat, “Until…He met Auntie Nami in the marketplace this morning getting produce for him.”
And that was the moment where Sanji’s heart exploded.  And yet, his face remained unmoved, “And how old is he?”
“He’s four…”
“Why didn’t you tell me, Cordelia?” Sanji snapped a bit, “Why didn’t you tell me he was mine?  Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant in the first place?  You know damn well I would’ve come back for you!”
“Because, Sanji,” Cordelia defended herself, “I knew this wasn’t the life for you.  I knew you were meant to be out to sea.  I didn’t want to be the one to hold you back from that.”
“You never held me back,” Sanji growled, “You never would’ve held me back.  You think I wouldn’t have wanted to settle down?  You think I wouldn’t have wanted to settle down with you?  ESPECIALLY, if I knew I had a son out there?  You don’t get to make those decisions for me, Cordelia!  You didn’t deserve to go through your pregnancy and raising him on your own!”
“I don’t know why you’re mad at me,” Cordelia jumped down Sanji’s throat, “It’s not like we’re suffering, Sanji.  We have everything handled.  I have everything handled.  I never expected anything from you.”
“But I would’ve given you everything without batting an eye!” The room went quiet again.  Not the kind of quiet like it was before.  Not the uncomfortable, awkward quiet.  The seething, angry quiet.  Sanji got up from the table, “I need to go.”
“Where are you going?” Cordelia worried.
“To walk out on the apparent mother of my son properly,” Sanji went straight for the door, knowing how badly his words wounded her.  The slamming screen cut Cordelia deeper than she had ever been hurt before.  She knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, but she didn’t realize it’d be this bad.
“Cordelia?” Zoro walked in, the rattling screen catching his attention.  He wasn’t expecting to find her sobbing on the floor, “Hey…Where’d Sanji go?”
Cordelia couldn’t even talk.  Her words failed her.  And her heart was in pieces.  But she wasn’t alone.  And Zoro would make sure she knew that.  So, he sat on the floor next to her and pulled her into his shoulder.  And she bawled her eyes out for a while.  Zoro knew he would be there for as long as she needed. 
“Cordelia,” Zoro picked her chin up and wiped her tears away, “What happened?”
“I screwed up,” Cordelia spoke through her sobs, “I screwed up so big.”
“What do you mean?” Zoro looked at her strangely, “What was with the door slamming?”
“Sanji’s pissed,” Cordelia explained, her head rested in Zoro’s chest, “I didn’t tell him about Ash.”
“Why would that piss him off?” Zoro wondered, “I mean, we all didn’t know about Ash until we came here.”
“Yeah,” Cordelia felt another wave of tears coming, “But you’re not all his father…”
“Oh…” Zoro got quiet after that.  He wasn’t sure if it was shock or heartbreak.  But he knew he had to do something.  When they all met Cordelia for the first time, Zoro had a soft spot for her.  Like the annoying little sister he never had.  But that didn’t mean he didn’t know Sanji a little better than she did, “Ash is…Sanji’s son?”
“Mmhm,” Cordelia nodded, “I always told Ash his father was lost at sea.  I wasn’t lying to him.  For all I knew, Sanji was lost at sea.  But I knew he was out there.  Somewhere.  And you guys are impossible to get a hold of.  How was I supposed to know where to find you?  And then, to tell Sanji I was pregnant?  It would’ve ruined him.”
“By the sounds of it,” Zoro winced, “It’s ruining him now.  And he’s got four years to catch up on.”
“Thanks, Zoro,” Cordelia grumbled, “Way to make me feel more like shit.”
“Not my intentions,” Zoro promised, “Does Ash know?”
“No,” Cordelia shook her head, “But I’m sure there’s going to be a connection made at some point.”
“Do you want me to go out and find Sanji?”
“No.  He needs to walk this one off.  He’s already pissed.  I don’t need to get under his skin even more.”
“Ok,” Zoro didn’t budge.  He kept Cordelia in his lap, “You know…He’s a great kid.”
“Thank you,” Cordelia cracked a smile, “I did my best with what I had.  And it’s not like I totally raised Ash alone.  I had Nora at the tavern, too.  And some of the others around here.  It takes a village and I had one.”
“And that might be what’s bothering him,” Zoro assumed, “Ever think Sanji would’ve wanted to be part of Ash’s life?”
“Like I said, though,” Cordelia reiterated, “How was I supposed to tell him?  You guys are out on the ship and in the middle of the sea.  Was I just supposed to get on mine and go find you guys?  Out in the middle of who the hell knows where and risk me going into labor where there would be no doctor around?  Or anyone else for that matter?  Where it would be just me squeezing Ash’s massive head out of me with no painkillers and a weirdly angled mirror?  I wasn’t keeping Sanji away from Ash.  He could’ve come back anytime.  But no.  He was gone for five years.  And now, he knows he has a kid out in the world.  And he still walked out.”
“Cordelia,” Zoro kept his voice down, “Does the name Vinsmoke Judge mean anything to you?”
“No,” Cordelia shook her head, “Why?  Should it?”
“He’s the reason why Sanji would ever want to be a dad to his kid in the first place,” Zoro explained, “He’d kill me for saying any of this, but Vinsmoke Judge was a piece of shit father to his own kids.  Including Sanji.  We’ve talked about it.  If we were to ever have families outside the crew.  And he only said one thing.  If he had a kid, all he’d want to do is give that kid the life he never had.  And the dad he never had.  And to never know suffering a day in their life.  This might just be me speculating, but I think this is about more than just you not telling Sanji about Ash.”
In that moment, Cordelia’s heart fell to her feet in individual pieces.  Like the world’s saddest confetti.  She stood up, brushed herself off, and pulled herself together, “I have to go.”
“Hey, Cordelia?” Luffy stuck his head in the back door, “Is dinner done yet?  I’m starving.”
“I have to go,” Cordelia wiped her eyes one last time, “Zoro, can you keep an eye on Ash for me?”
“Go,” Zoro insisted, “Everything here is taken care of.”
“Thank you,” Cordelia started heading for the front door, “And keep Luffy out of the kitchen!”
“Will do!”
With her wits about her much more than they were before, Cordelia went on a search for Sanji.  Beniville Bay wasn’t very big, so it’s not like he could get lost.  He wasn’t Zoro.  But Cordelia knew where to find him.  Cordelia knew exactly where to find him.  The place it all started.  On the cliffs of Beniville Bay, there was the perfect view of all the West Blue.  So the rumor was.  There was nothing but water in any direction one were to look from those cliffs.  The day Sanji met Cordelia, she sat on the edge of those cliffs, gently singing an old shanty to herself.  And Sanji swore she was a siren.  And she certainly drew him in like one.
And sure enough, Cordelia found Sanji sitting at the edge.  Her hands and knees started to shake, but she knew she had to push through it.  No matter how hard it might be.  But at the same time, she didn’t want to scare him.  Cordelia made sure her footsteps made noise.  And of course, she caught Sanji’s attention. 
“What are you doing here?” Sanji asked, his voice hardly above a whisper. 
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Cordelia sat on the ground next to him.  And the quiet between them was excruciating.
“I needed some quiet,” Sanji told her, clearing his throat, “What about you?”
“I needed to explain myself,” Cordelia carefully took Sanji’s hand, “Look, Sanji…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Ash.  I’m sorry I made big decisions for you.”
“Cordelia,” Sanji asked, “Does Ash know who I am?”
“Of course,” Cordelia assured him, “You’d be amazed at how many times he’ll ask me to tell him all about the pirates I knew.  He’d go back and tell his friends that his mama knew pirates.  His mama was a pirate.”
“But not his father.”
“I’d tell him all about the pirates I knew,” Cordelia smiled, “Including you.  He heard all kinds of stories about you and me.”
“Did he?” Sanji started to perk up a little, “What’s he know about?”
“He knows how you called me a siren while you were here,” Cordelia rested her head on Sanji’s shoulder, “He knows that when we met, Luffy almost cleared out the tavern.  And that you still made food when you got back to the ship because-”
“I didn’t want to get rusty,” Sanji chuckled to himself, “And yet, I seem to remember that same night when Zoro got wildly drunk and you and I snuck back to your place to do some very vile things.”
“I don’t tell Ash about that one,” Cordelia giggled, “He doesn’t need to know about the night he was conceived.”
Sanji laid back on the ground and pulled Cordelia into his ribs, “I wish I would’ve known about Ash.  He’s a great kid.”
“He’s our great kid.”
“No,” Sanji shook his head, “He’s your great kid.  I had nothing to do with him turning out the way he has.”
“That’s not entirely true,” Cordelia cuddled into him, “Sanji, there’s more of you in Ash than you think there is.  One time, he threw a tantrum because I was in the middle of making dinner at the tavern and he wanted a banana.  I was almost done with dinner and he wanted a banana, so I wasn’t going to give him one.  He could wait for dinner.  Mind you, he had no money on him.  But there was a woman selling fruit from her stand a little way down the square.  He went over to the woman and told her he had a rumbly tummy.  The kid batted his eyelashes at her and came back with a banana and a satisfied grin on his face.”
“Really?” Sanji laughed, “He charmed a woman for a banana?”
“I didn’t believe it at first either,” Cordelia held her face in her hands, “But Nora said she saw the whole thing.  It was incredible.  And I don’t think I ever heard that kid ever use the word tummy a day in his life.  He full on charmed a woman for a banana.”
A sudden warmth spread through Sanji’s chest like a wildfire, “That’s my boy…”
“He is,” Cordelia agreed, “Whether you like it or not, you can’t deny him.  You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”
“The little uptick in his eyebrows?”
“The very same.”
“Yeah,” Sanji nodded, “I saw.  It was how I realized he was mine.  I just needed to hear it from you.”
“And you did,” Cordelia shut her eyes for a moment or two, “Ash is your son, Sanji.  You are just as much his dad as I am his mom.  But you think you were shocked when you met him for the first time.  You should’ve seen his first birthday.”
“You’re right,” Sanji stared up into the sky as guilt crept into his thoughts, “I should’ve seen his first birthday.”
“No,” Cordelia hushed him, “We’re not going to make it sad.  He knows you now, Sanji.  And no one can take that away from you.  And now that you know he exists, you can do something about it.”
“It’s just a matter of what I do,” Sanji pulled Cordelia a little closer, “But about his first birthday.  Tell me.”
“I knew he wouldn’t remember his first birthday,” Cordelia began, “First birthday parties were just vanity things for the parents to pat themselves on the back.  Birthday parties aren’t for the kid until they gain more sentience and cognitive memory.  But I still wanted to do something special.  So, I told Nora I was going to go on sabbatical for a month or two and I brought Ash on the boat.”
“You took a one year old on a boat?” Sanji gasped, “Cordelia, are you insane?”
“It was for a good reason,” Cordelia went on, “I took a couple weeks to get from the West Blue to the East Blue.  And just in time for Ash’s first birthday, we docked.  I got him dressed that night.  The cutest little bowtie.  I got dressed.  And we went and had dinner at the Baratie.”
Sanji froze.  His stomach turned into a solid knot.  And he wasn’t sure what to do about that, “You took our one year old son to the Baratie?”
“Yes, I did,” Cordelia nodded, “We deserved something nice.  And…Well, I always heard you talk up the Baratie, so…”
“Oh my god…” Sanji let out a little gasp, “You went to the Baratie looking for me.”
“Maybe,” Cordelia bit her lip, “So, you can’t say I never attempted to go after you.  But once we got back home, I figured you were on the other side of the world by then.  So, because Ash and I deserved nice things, we went to the Baratie for his birthday.  You should’ve seen the look on Zeff’s face when I walked in.”
And just when Sanji thought it couldn’t get worse, it managed to get just a little worse, “You met Zeff on your own?”
“You act like he’s some kind of monster,” Cordelia giggled, “Yeah.  I met Zeff on my own.  And he was nothing but sweet to me.  Zeff was a peach.  He sat with me for a bit while I was bouncing Ash on my knee.  But he was getting to that phase where he wanted to crawl all over the place, so if I held him down for too long, he’d try to squirm out or get super fussy.  And I had yet to eat anything at that point, so I was starving.  Ash ate more off my plate than I did, I swear.  Oh, Sanji…I wish you would’ve seen it.  Zeff took Ash and let me eat.  It was the first time since he was born that I could eat more than a few bites before I had to take care of him in some way.”
“I have a hard time seeing Zeff with a baby,” Sanji started to relax a bit.
“I mean,” Cordelia shrugged, “In a way, it made sense.  That was his grandson.  He just…didn’t realize it yet.  At least not until he got a better look at him.”
“So,” Sanji’s warm feeling didn’t last long, “Zeff knows.”
“Zeff figured it out,” Cordelia clarified, “But yes, Zeff knows.  Zeff knows Ash is his grandson.  Zeff knows you have a baby out in the world.  And Zeff expects us every year on Ash’s birthday.  But all that aside, the day I brought Ash to the Baratie…Zeff closed up a little early, so he and I could talk uninterrupted.  A few of the boys cleared the tables out.  Zeff cracked open a bottle of wine for me.  I could still taste it.  But Ash had fallen asleep in my arms.  And he was so content.  I told Zeff all about our night together without scarring him.  We talked about my life before we met.  And then, Ash woke up.  I felt bad because I thought maybe we were too loud.  He slid down from my lap and held onto my knee when he stood up.  And I watched as he took his first twelve steps from me to Zeff and fell into Zeff’s leg.”
“He…” Sanji tried not to start tearing up, but the thought of the little boy in Cordelia’s house having taken his first steps in a place he held dear in his heart and to the man that saved his life made it difficult, “He took his first steps…to Zeff…In the Baratie?”
“It was beautiful to see, Sanji,” Cordelia cuddled in a little closer, “You should’ve seen the look on Zeff’s face.  Fucking priceless.  And now, I can hardly keep up with him.  My god, the little shit has more energy than God knew what to do with.  But he did.  We got to working on walking on my boat and he had a pretty good handle on it before we got home.  But once we hit land again, he had to learn to walk all over.”
“Cordelia…” Sanji wept, “I’ve missed so much…”
“It doesn’t matter what you’ve missed, Sanji,” Cordelia assured him, “What matters is that you know he exists.  You know he’s here.  And he’s got a birthday coming up.  I know Zeff’s going to be waiting for us.  I bet he misses you, too.”
“You think so?” Sanji thought it over, “You know, it has been a while since I’ve seen Zeff.  I suppose it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I popped up there.”
“I wouldn’t tell you no,” Cordelia wrapped herself around Sanji���s arm, “Would you want to make the annual birthday trip to the Baratie with us?  Chances are, it’ll be the first real birthday Ash really remembers.  What better way to have it than to be the first birthday he has with both his parents?”
Sanji felt a hitch in his breathing.  His heart turned into a puddle and he knew he wouldn’t be able to say no, “When do we shove off?”
“Probably in a couple days,” Cordelia thought, “Unless you and the others are off on some other great, grand quest.  This wouldn’t be very long.  Probably a night at the Baratie docks.”
“Cordelia,” Sanji took her hands into his and gently brought them to his lips, “Of course, sweetheart.  I’d love to.”
“Thank you,” Cordelia melted inside.  But then, reality set in, “You know, we should probably get back to my place before Luffy starts seizing up.”
“Good call,” Sanji got up and helped Cordelia onto her feet, “And…Cordelia?”
“Hmm?”
Sanji pulled her into his arms and held her tight, “I’m so sorry for walking out on you.”
“You were pissed,” Cordelia comforted him, “I understand.”
“No,” Sanji shook his head, “I could’ve stayed here a little longer.  Long enough to know you were pregnant.  We could’ve been a real family.”
“We still are, Sanji,” Cordelia held his hand, “I tried seeing other men after you, but it wasn’t the same.  It didn’t feel right.  And the guy I saw after you really wasn’t right.  He found out Ash wasn’t his and walked out on us.  You came back, though.  I told you that you had a son and now, in a couple days, we’re going to go to the Baratie for his birthday.”
“Could you imagine the look on Zeff’s face when we walk in there together?” Sanji chuckled to himself, “Might actually put the old man in a heart attack.”
“We don’t want to do that to Zeff,” Cordelia awed, “I like Zeff.  And Zeff adores me.  My god, does Zeff love me.  Although, I think it was mostly a pity thing.  I walk into his restaurant a single mother only to find out that baby was yours.”
“He’s going to fucking kill me when we get there,” Sanji winced, “I can feel it.”
“Are you kidding?” Cordelia rolled her eyes, “Zeff adores you and wouldn’t dare.  Besides, Ash just got his father.  He’s not going to take him away from that.”
“That’s something I need hanging over my head,” Sanji scoffed, “Using the kid as a human shield.  That’s what we have Luffy for.”
“Don’t worry about Zeff,” Cordelia took Sanji’s arm, “If anything goes south with Zeff, I’ll take all the heat.  Considering this is mostly my fault anyway.”
“I still can’t believe you were at the Baratie to find me,” Sanji cracked a little smile.
“Why else would I have gone to the Baratie?”
“A half decent meal and just as mediocre ambience?”
“Valid point,” Cordelia ran a little way ahead, “We really do need to get back a little quicker, Sanji.”
“Why do you say that?” Sanji wondered, “Cordelia, sweetheart, we’re going to be here for a few days.  We have all the time in the world.”
“Very true,” she agreed, “But do you really want to leave a hungry Luffy alone with dinner on the table?”
“Alright.  Point made.”
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Text
Find the word
Thanks @winterandwords here, @museandquill here, and @aziz-reads here!
Rules: post excerpts from your WIP with the given words
My words: fast, slow, still, backwards, track, praised, question, reappeared, unwieldy, cabbage, adjoining, design
Your words: peace, head, test, blank
Tagging @authorcoledipalo @authorlaurawinter @chauceryfairytales @tabswrites @mk-writes-stuff
TSP intro
TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites
@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet
Keep reading for:
Ash gets help
Power control with Carla
Kelsey should not put on more adult responsibilities!!
Lexi and Ash find the portal
Robbie's eyes are like black holes
Shh...older draft of Part Three...
A bit from an older work
Carla looks for her mom
Ash out of breath
Fast - from The Secret Portal Part One (Ash POV)
“Really?!” I said, pushing myself off of the tree—a little too fast, so I almost fell over. “Um, where exactly, uh, do I go?”
Slow - from The Secret Portal Part One (Ash POV)
“You’ll be fine,” Carla comforted, not seeming to notice I wasn't nervous. “Don’t be afraid of your powers. But you must know how to control them, which is why we’re going slow.”
Still - from The Secret Portal Part One (Kelsey POV)
Still—wasn’t satisfied. I worried that Aunt Kamryn would forget that Roni would want to read a book aloud before brushing her teeth. She usually practiced her reading with me. Hopefully Mom or Aunt Kamryn were a good replacement.
Backwards - from The Secret Portal Part One (Lexi POV)
“It seems weird,” I said, almost walking backwards to keep an eye on her as I turned around the corner of the school. “Like—ah!” My boot got caught on the grass, causing my feet to slip. I tumbled onto the ground and dropped my violin, the “oof!” that followed indicating Ash tripped over the sturdy case.
Track - from The Secret Portal Part One (Akash POV)
I’d lost track of how many times I’d overheard other students fawning over that attribute. I have dark eyes, too! But apparently they didn’t have a gravity that drew everything in to its death.
Questioned - from "Eternity"
Praised - from The Secret Portal Part Three (older draft)
Inside the ambulance, the doctors were astounded by the miracle of the girl, but there was no time to praise that.
“Why did you report this to the FBI?” I questioned. “This seems like just an average missing person case--no offense. Why didn’t you report this to your local police?”
Reappeared - from The Secret Portal Part One (Carla POV)
My eyes didn’t leave my pia and the other lady. Pia disappeared into the shadows. The other lady looked around for her. Behind the lady, Pia reappeared.
Unwieldy - N/A
Cabbage - N/A
Design - from The Secret Portal Part One (Ash POV)
Adjoined - N/A
I was panting hard. The spirals on the ring’s design pressed itself into my palm. A headache was starting to form in the back of my head.
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newbornwhumperfly · 3 months
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whumpmas in july day 7: favorite whump fic!
well, i could not possibly just choose a single favorite whump fic from this beautiful community, so i took this prompt's suggestion of making a list! 💖💖💖😍😍😍 (NOTE: please mind these stories' requisite CW's, as some of the content is both good and rough)
~
@much-ado-about-whumping's entire gorgeous Déomas and Rhys series about my beloved Déomas Overbridge is eternally bookmarked in my soul but this installment - Déomas Settles In - really seized me by the throat and never let go 💔😍😭💖
@whumpzone's heartwarming and wrenching Thomas and Rowe series lives in my heart fondly and there's something about the beautiful and haunting final chapter - Thomas and Rowe: The End - that has lived in my head rent-free for years now 😍💖😢
@whump-tr0pes's Honor Bound series is, of course, a community classic and i would die for each and every one of them, with this installment from Honor Bound 5 - Honor Bound 5: 32 (Verbal Abuse) - being a constant reread for me simply due to how utterly devastating "hallucination of loved one saying your worst fears about yourself" is depicted here 😭😭😭
@haro-whumps's Group Whumpees series will always be close to my heart, for all of their characters are my beloveds, and one piece from that series is this chapter - Group Whumpees 6: Breaking Point - because i love me a good devastating misunderstanding that results in a breakdown! 😈🥰🥺
@whumping-every-day, absent but never forgotten, first got me into writing vampire whump with her gloriously brutal Ash and Callum series, of which, this piece - Vampire Whump: New Beginnings - is a favorite still 😰😈🥺
@ashintheairlikesnow, the patron god of whump, has too many iconic pieces in the BBU canon to name here, but the piece where Kauri (my beloved) attempts to write poetry again post-mind-wipe reached directly into my chest in a way very few pieces of writing in recent memory have been able to do, heartbreak and healing hand in hand 💔💔🥺🥺💖💖
~
have a very merry @whumpmasinjuly everyone! 💖
@whumpmasinjuly-archive
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tired-fandom-ndn · 10 months
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do you....do you think Ashely and Andrew would cockwarm or what are ur ashley/andrew headcanons pls?......asking for a friend (p.s. loving the tcoaal blogging)
Ashley is OBSESSED with cockwarming. She wants to be on Andrew's dick at every possible opportunity, partly out of pleasure and wanting to be close to him but mostly because she thinks that it's a good way to keep him from thinking about any other women. Andrew only allows it if she stays quiet and lets him keep doing whatever he's doing, but he secretly loves it too.
The couple that kills together stays together 💕 But seriously, they absolutely keep killing post-canon, especially as Andrew starts to embrace his own sadistic tendencies. I mentioned it before but Ashley makes a point of killing some of the girls he used to date/like and, even though it's a really bad idea, he still occasionally hands victims to her by being just a bit too nice to random women.
Ashley spends the rest of their lives regretting that they didn't have sex in front of their parents before killing them. She and Andrew make up for this by having sex in front of many of their other victims later. She especially enjoyed seeing Julia's horror, disgust, and fear.
They both have huge breeding kinks but if one of them can get pregnant, he's very insistent on ALWAYS wearing condoms no matter how upset it makes Ashley.
Andrew: Our parents hated having kids and that fucked us up so much, I don't really want to end up doing that to our kids too.
Ashley, poking holes in all their condoms: Yeah, I totally get it :)
Andrew is soooooo obsessed with Ashley's tits. He's got his hands and mouth on her chest at literally every opportunity and she loves it.
The incest vision was not nearly as surprising to Andrew as he acted. He used to spend nights jerking off in bed while Ashley was "asleep", biting his fist to keep quiet, not realizing that Ashley could hear his muffled "Leyley"
This isn't even a headcanon, it's just straight up canon, but they love marking each other so much. They're both just always covered in hickies and bruises and bite marks all over and they both love to show them off. When she knows he's going to be around other women, Ashley likes to dig her teeth into Andrew's neck hard enough to draw blood, staking her claim and knowing that he won't bother trying to cover it up.
After they really, truly escape and start new lives together, someone they meet assumes that they're husband and wife and they are just blown away by the realization that they can just. Go along with it. That they can tell people that they're married, a young and happy couple starting their lives together, and no one will bat an eye.
Again, post-canon, they get an apartment and some shitty jobs that pay the bills and they just. Live. They try learning how to cook (Ashley never manages it, Andrew is surprisingly good) and they get mismatched furniture and they fall asleep tangled together on the couch more often than they do in bed and neither of them are especially social or make many friends and that's fine. They only need each other (and maybe a kid or two). They still kill and eat people though.
Andrew never thought they'd reach a point of happy domesticity, where he wouldn't have to look over his shoulder every moment, but it's. Really nice. He loves it a lot more than he expected.
They just. Love each other so much oh my god
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