#// he didn't celebrate it while growing up !!! so he often forgets

[demonsfate]

❝ You forgot to give gifts to your little friends again, didn't you . . . ? ❞

❝ Yes, I forgot about Christmas again. ❞

[simpee9000]

Not Just Friends - 9 -

M.List : Prologue : Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Part 8 : Words 5.1k

Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? Also not edited!! CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.

The change was weird. A lasting sour taste in your mouth.

It was sudden too. His withdrawal from your life was instant.

Rather than how it was when you were temporarily sharing his room, he didn't wake you up and say goodbye. You thought that was just a morning after an argument thing, but it lasted. Going into the next week he even changed it more.

He no longer let you share your mornings, you had to relearn to use your own alarm quickly. Your schedules conflicted more than just that as well.

Lunch would no longer work, he switched his patrol times and took on meetings instead of leaving the space open for you.

Dinner wasn't really a thing anymore either. He stopped telling you when he'd be home, and after the first week of him not being home till late, you gave up. Throwing yourself into work as well. Changing your hours so you could sleep in more and get home later. Just to eat some leftovers he packed up for you, before turning in.

Words weren't really exchanged anymore and it was weird. You shared a room, and a bed, yet never saw each other awake.

It felt like a break up. In the simplest of terms. It wrecked you for a while. Felt like you were trudging along as you waited for him like a puppy.

You knew he held grudges but you've never expected him to turn it onto you.

You wanted to mourn the relationship but felt like it wasn't a right you had. He was still your boyfriend, you think. And you talked after you woke him up getting into bed. A quick conversation, but a conversation nonetheless. But the relationship back peddled to way before he got the watch. It felt like how it was after your first kiss in first year. Consuming yourselves with school to avoid the talk.

His mom still called often, nothing changed with how she spoke to you. Nothing changed outside your relationship with him and it was weird. You don't even know if your friends have noticed and it's been months.

It was nearing the end of October, the argument happened in the middle of August.

And none of your friends even blinked an eye. When Katsuki refused an invitation they assumed the normal, not surprised to see you at the bar without him. Mei didn't even notice. When you brushed off your change of work schedule and said he changed as well, she didn't ask another question. Thinking you were only glum because of the negative side of the internet. Fans bashing you at any corner possible.

It didn't bother you much, felt like a fly buzzing around you constantly but it was liveable.

Getting pestered for more interviews, people trying to get an inside look at Dynamight's home life. But you followed Shoto's PR manager's advice and chose to stay out of the limelight. Only interviewing when it was about your work.

Your work was your baby after all. Especially recently, it was hard to get you out of the office before two in the morning. Having more heroes come to you than before. It was exciting to see your career grow, you were just slightly annoyed that it was because of Katsuki that it grew. But a win was a win.

Everyone agreed with you on that, your friends closed down a bar for you, wanting to celebrate how many clients you had. You were getting article after article written about your work, being named as the second-best individual support tech in all of Japan. Because obviously, they'd have rankings for that as well.

A blush instantly covered your face when you walked into the bar, Mei pushing you forward. She dragged you out of the lab for once and convinced you to show face.

Kirishima is the first to tackle you in a hug, letting Mina do the same right after. "Congrats," he patted your shoulder as he pulled you more into the bar.

Most of Class A was there for you, celebrating you. Other pros you met along the way as well. People that you stayed in touch with since high school. Anyone you would want to be there was there.

"You guys shouldn't have," you smiled at the group, it was contagious. Denki had a derpy smile on him while Mina was bouncing around.

Kirishima laughed you off, "You needed it, been stuck in that lab and it paid off." You shrunk in on yourself when called out, you hadn't really been showing up that often to group outings. Not nearly as much as you used to.

"I got your favorite Cake!" Mina skipped towards you as best as she could. The cake was custom-made for you, having only the best flavors.

"It's not my birthday," you felt the need to point out, given the size of the celebration. And the candles that topped the cake.

"Might as well be," Mina pushed, "You're a new person! Officially number 2 in Japan!"

You did feel like a new person, you've changed a lot in the past two months.

"Come on," Mei teased over your shoulder, "Blow out the candles!"

"Make a wish!" Mina cheered, pushing the cake closer to you. And with the people you knew, they joined in. Cheering you on.

"They're gonna melt, y'know," Sero urged you once move.

"Fine," you laughed, feeling lighter than you had in the past couple of months. Thinking of nothing in particular as you blew out the candles, only looking around the crowd after. Noticing the lack of a certain blonde.

Rather than letting your shoulders slump too much, you let yourself fall into the cheer from your friends.

It was how you've done things since. You stopped waiting around for him, for the first time since you were kids. You pushed past him, not looking at every notification on your phone and hoping it was him. It didn't take Izuku this long to move beyond Katsuki, so you don't know why you let yourself take this long. Living behind him for so long.

You were pushed from conversation to conversation, catching up with people you haven't seen in a while and then talking with your closest friends. Being handed drink after drink in the process.

"You've been working a lot," Izuku commented when you finally made your way to him.

"Yeah," you nodded happily, "It's paid off."

He furrowed his brows, "You shouldn't overwork yourself. You haven't had a day off in months."

"Not true, I take a day off every week," you corrected him, not knowing where he got that idea. You took a day off every week, taking time to sleep the entire time.

"But-" he looked so confused, "Kacchan said you're not home, like ever."

"Oh," you understood the confusion now, "I switched my off days."

"Why?"

You shrugged, not really wanting to get into this conversation. Especially not with him and not now. You'd fall apart instantly. The feeling and pressure of your fragile relationship sitting on top of your chest. "Needed a change, you know how it is."

"I'm here for you, I know I'm busy but if you need anything I'm here," he was taking on the concerned best friend role, like usual.

"Z', I'm fine, really," you brushed off his concern, "Better than ever, my career is taking off, that's all that matters."

"That's not all that matter-"

"I need to go thank Mina and Mei again for setting this up," you excused yourself and walked through the slowly dying crowd. Meeting with the two pink-haired girls that were chatting near the food.

"Why do you look so drained?" Mei called out instantly, Mina slapping her shoulder right after.

"Social battery is just nonexistent right now," you lied, picking up a piece of food.

Mina looked around the bar, "It seems like it's just your close friends now, everyone else left by now."

You sighed in relief, you wanted to go home somewhat. Yet you didn't want to go back to him.

"Hey, Mei," you got her attention, "Can I spend the night?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, "Thought your social battery was dead though?"

"Friends don't count," you contradicted yourself and just prayed they wouldn't call you on it.

"Still, you never ask," Mei pointed out.

"I'm a new person," you grabbed another piece of food, filling your mouth so you couldn't be asked anymore.

"If you're mad at Bakugo for not showing up I wouldn't blame you." Mina spoke softly, "Dick move of him honestly."

"He's busy, it's fine," you defended him without another thought.

"No it's not, how many award shows have you been to for him?" Mei joined in. It felt nice they had your back, but it wasn't necessary.

You sighed, "I'm used to it. I'll have plenty more so it's fine."

Mina and Mei shared a look, not wanting to give in and forgive him as easily as you do, but not wanting to put you down either. "You're welcome to stay at mine," Mei finished the conversation.

A small gasp left Mina's mouth, eyes widening. "Bag of dicks is here," Mei groaned.

You couldn't help looking over your shoulder, seeing Katsuki for the first time awake in a while. Seeing Kirishima and Denki crowd him instantly. Greeting him warmly as you stood there. "I need a drink," you twisted your direction to head to the bar. Tonight was going to be a good night, not another about him.

Looking at him was too much, it hurt at first. Knowing your last real conversation was an argument. One where he threatened to take sex away from you, when he actually took everything him away. Just because you didn't want him to die for a stupid reason. It hurt to see everything on his side was fine.

It pissed you off. He was acting the same as you were, sure, but you would have gone to his award show. You would have been the first one there. Yet here he was, the last person to show after most left.

The bartender was quick to hand you a drink, watching and replacing it after you downed it all. You've been steadily drinking all night but a new buzz would help. Help the anger that was brewing over you.

You turned around when you had your second drink, wanting to sip on this one instead. Only getting more upset when he was still talking to his friends. Not even sparing you a glance. You let your head fall at this point, watching your shoes as you tapped your feet.

Any thought other than him would help, this wasn't about him. It shouldn't be.

For the past two months, you've been doing everything alone, and it's shown it's worth it. This was just another event that you had to get through. You'd just have to deal with him standing on the sidelines for once.

You saw Uraraka's white shoes before she spoke, "Do you want to join the group?"

When you looked up you saw that people pushed tables together, all of them sitting down together. How you didn't hear them move everything was surprising. Once you got rid of the shock, you turned back to her, "Yeah sure."

She smiled warmly, linking her arm with yours as she walked to the table with you. Sitting down next to you after you took your spot at the head of the table, next to him, unfortunately. You kept your body turned away from him, focusing on talking with her. The two of you didn't get to talk often after all. But you liked her nonetheless, she was the embodiment of welcoming.

The side conversations easily merged into one big conversation. You looked over the group as you leaned back in your chair. Sero was laughing as Denki rambled, Mei and Mina encouraging the conversation while Kirishima tried to reel it back in. Izuku was smiling fondly at the group, the same as Shoto. It was all your closest friends, it made you feel warm.

"It is not just a high school thing," Denki pointed at Sero laughing, "you're just mad that you couldn't." You were easily confused by his outburst, not having a clue what the conversation was about.

"No Nut November is like a middle school joke," Sero stated back.

"What is that?" Shoto asked, confused.

Denki and Sero started laughing, forcing Mina to explain, "It's a thing guys do, a challenge of not nutting for the full month of November."

"Nutting?" Shoto asked again.

"You're kidding!" Denki wheezed.

"Cumming," Kirishima answered, face cringing at the conversation. Everyone cringed besides Denki and Sero, who were too busy laughing.

"Why would you do that though?" Shoto was trying to piece together the concept.

"Only idiots do," Katsuki cut in. It was the first time you heard his voice so clearly all night.

Not being given a chance to soak in his voice, Denki starts defending the idea again, "You're only saying that cause you couldn't last that long."

"I could," Katsuki bit back, wanting to win at anything challenged.

"Please," Sero started teasing as well, "Bakugo you'd last a day."

"How the fuck would you know?"

"You either get some daily or never," Sero pointed out, "I'm falling on the likelihood of daily, knowing your girlfriend."

"Okay," you slapped your hands on the table, "Enough of that conversation."

Mina booed at you, having enjoyed the guys bickering.

"Thank god," you heard Izuku whisper in relief.

"I think I'm going to head out," you announced, standing up and giving Mei a nod so she knew she should get ready. You were thankful the bar was already nearly clean, no help was needed.

You looked down at Katsuki when you heard his keys, the sound familiar to you.

"Did you drive here?" Katsuki asked you, looking back up at you.

"Uh-" you looked at Mei, "I didn't."

"Need a ride back home?" he offered, standing up next to you.

It hurt to decline him, but you didn't want anything to do with him, not tonight.

"Ready?" Mei joined you by your side.

You looked between the two before settling on Katsuki, "I'm actually going to stay the night at Mei's." Any hope he had in his eyes left, face dropping in the slightest bit. You didn't notice the look he held until it was gone.

He looked like he got his heart ripped out and stomped on, but so did you.

"Look, if this is about me showing up late, I'm-"

A surprised laugh left your lips, it was mean. And the look on his face showed that he felt that it was mean as well. "This isn't about you Katsuki," you put it bluntly. It wasn't about him, tonight wasn't about him. You wanted to keep a good mood, and going home with him wouldn't do that.

You didn't give him the chance to reply before you grabbed onto Mei, wanting to leave as soon as possible. Going through all the goodbyes.

---

Mei and you shared the same horrible sleep schedule. She grabbed some wine as she let you collapse on her couch and turned the TV onto something for background noise the second you got to her apartment.

She handed you a glass before she sat down next to you, beer in her own hand. "I got to ask now, you know that right?"

You groaned, taking a sip of your wine, "Hit me with the questions." Avoidance wouldn't last in a small setting and you knew that.

"What the hell happened between you guys?"

"We're having a rough spot right now," you answered simply, shuffling further into the couch.

"That much is obvious."

"Fine," you gave in, taking a deep breath to give an actual answer, "I haven't really talked to him for two months."

Mei's face drained of all color, "What?"

"Yeah," you shrugged, swirling the wine in your glass.

"Are you broken up?" Mei reached a hand to rest on your forearm.

"No, at least," you thought for a second, "I don't think we are."

"How are you with someone you haven't talked to in months?"

"I don't know," you mumbled.

"What type of argument could have caused that?"

You wanted to laugh out of frustration, looking back on it was painful and stupid to you. Yet you were still so mad. "Y'know how I made him that watch?" she nodded, "Well, he asked me to make the watch for the reasons you thought. And he was fully relying on it. Having his quirk off every time he was next to me."

"Can't that kill you?" Mei asked.

"Yes, so I told him that and he turned it into a massive thing. I asked him to take it off, and he said no, so I told him I wouldn't touch him when he had his quirk off. Now we just don't talk," you explained quickly, chest tightening.

"But you're still dating?" you could tell she was trying to be sensitive to the situation.

All you could do was shrug, "I still share a bed with him, so I'm assuming yes."

"How come you don't talk to him?"

"I tried the first week, but when he changed his schedule around to avoid me, I did the same."

"So that's why-"

"Yeah, it's done a lot of good for me though. I've finally grown a lot more. My career is at a high and it's only up from now. I'm no longer just in his shadow. Honestly, I'm thankful for the fight. I finally feel like an adult. I don't need anyone to get me where I am and it's refreshing," you admitted. A lot of good has come from it, and you weren't going to ignore it.

"But you love him?" Mei asked, trying to make sure.

"Of course, he just isn't my life."

"You're not going to try for him? You have been each other's since you were five," Mei worded slowly.

"I'm not reaching out to someone who doesn't want me, Mei," you looked at her, firm on what to do about everything. It was already settled before but now you've actually said it. "I don't know why it took me forever to realize, I wish I did when Izuku did. I would be a lot further in life."

"You already are far in life, you're not even twenty and your 2nd best support tech-"

"I could have been first-"

"No," Mei shook her head, "I'm sorry to say it, but you're only this far because of him. Because of your friends."

"Mei-"

"I'm not wrong, you've been given endless support. Without that? You would still be fumbling behind everyone else. You can't get anywhere in life solely on your own."

"Well, it wasn't only him," you pointed out. You agreed with her, your friends helped a lot.

"It was majority him," she pointed out.

You rolled your eyes, "Don't you somewhat hate him?"

"I still know he's good for you, and if your entire relationship goes to shit over this, I'm not letting myself be a part of it. Is he an asshole for showing up late? Yes, fuck him for that. Is he a dick for throwing a fit about kissing and not talking to you? Absolutely. But he is also the man who loves you the most, he's been there for you so many times. Are you going to throw that away?"

"I'm not throwing shit away, he is," you defended yourself, tears lining your eyes.

"Your not even trying-"

"I shouldn't have to," you stood up, "I tell him everything while he keeps himself away. I'm fucking done. If he wants me, he needs to tell me."

"What are you doing?" Mei questioned, seeing you grab your things.

"Leaving," you said firmly.

"You don't have a car-"

"I'll walk," you spit out, slamming the door to her apartment as you left. Breaking down when in the elevator. You wanted tonight to be about you, about your success. Yet as always, it turned out to be about him. You thought you'd grown out of being only mentioned because of him.

You walked on uneasy footing until you got out of her block. She was your best friend and she didn't even understand. It made you wish you talked to Izuku.

The street lamps lit up your bag as you looked for your phone. Glancing at the time before you dialed his number. His sleep was fucked up too, so you weren't worried about waking him up

"Are you okay?" was the first thing he said, full of concern. It was 3 in the morning after all.

"No," you choked on a sob, choosing to lean on a wall rather than continue walking. You didn't even know where to walk.

"What's going on? Do I need to get you-"

"I'm safe," you cleared up your throat, "I'm just struggling."

"Why?"

"Katsuki and I are in a rough patch, Mei doesn't get my side on it, and I can't turn to him," you rambled, "I just don't know what to do."

"Just breathe right now, you're going to get worse if you continue like this," he counted for you to follow. Performing his hero script as he calmed you down.

You let yourself sit on the concrete, leaning your back onto a random building as you rested your head on your knees.

"Okay," you whispered into the phone, "Katsuki and I haven't talked in two months."

Izuku was a rambler but he was also a good listener. Letting you get out any detail you needed before even opening his mouth. So you told him everything, leaving out any sex-related things. Telling him Katsuki used the watch to hug you or kiss you, so a truth in the cover-up. He could draw up that conclusion on his own.

"I was just thinking that maybe you'd understand," you finished, "I'm just so tired of reaching out to him."

"I get it," he started, "Probably the only one that does. He locks himself off and just expects you to come chasing for him. And the second you don't, he throws a fit. You should let him, I know it's hard, but he needs to grow up as well. You told him your concern and he locked you out, he needs to be the one to let you back in."

You sighed in relief, "So I'm doing the right thing?"

"Yes, especially in a relationship. It shouldn't be so one-sided with communication. You come a long way in the past months, and he should acknowledge that. I love you both, and I hope you guys work past it, but if it doesn't then it's for the best," he spoke to you like a brother would. You didn't even notice when the dynamic between the two of you flipped. Him going from acting like a younger brother to the older brother.

"Thank you," you sniffled, trying to dry the tears that have been working down your face, "Mei thinks I'm throwing everything away."

"He's the one that pushed you out, he's throwing it away," Izuku pointed out. You hummed in agreement, looking down at your phone.

"Holy fuck," the time surprised you, it was nearing five in the morning, and it was a Saturday. You were thankful that the city wasn't awake yet. "I need to get home."

"You're not home?!" he squeaked into the phone, "Where are you?"

"I don't know," you answered honestly, standing upright and stretching your limbs out.

"What?!"

"I'll start walking home now," you tried to calm him down.

"Do you know how dangerous that is?"

"I'm fine Izuku, I'm maybe a block away from home," that seemed to calm him down. He let you hang up the phone, telling you to text him when you were home.

You were glad to have a hoodie at this point, pulling the hood up to hide your tear-streaked face as you walked back home. Needing the ten-minute walk to calm down. Think for yourself.

While you fully agreed with Izuku, you also saw Mei's point of view. She wanted you happy, and you were happy with Katsuki. You didn't want to break up with him, you loved him fully. But if he couldn't meet you halfway, you weren't going to rush to fill that emptiness he left. You'd rather move on to better things. Maybe find someone who would.

With your head hung low the entire walk back to your apartment, you didn't even notice you were in the elevator until it opened on your floor. Having walked all the way on a full autopilot. Thinking of your relationship that overtook one of the biggest days of your career.

You opened your door with a sigh, throwing your keys on the shelf before turning into the kitchen for some water. Filling up a glass before you walked to the basket of blankets in the corner of the living room.

The second you turned around to walk to the couch you dropped your glass. A shocked scream left your lips when you saw Katsuki sitting there in the dark.

"What the fuck are you doing?" you hissed at him, confused as to why he was sitting in the dark and not in his room.

"I was sleeping," he answered.

"Here?" you shot back, bending down to pick up the broken glass.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Mei's?"

You squeezed your hand in annoyance, only noticing the burn of the cut then.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you turned his concern down, throwing away the broken glass when you walked into the kitchen. Thankful that it broke into big pieces rather than small. You ran your hand underwater as you ignored him.

"You're bleeding," it was clear he was groggy with sleep.

"No shit," you answered plainly.

"Fuckin' c'mere," he moved near you, trying to grab your hand only to get swatted away.

"I can take care of myself," you snapped at him, moving to grab a paper towel, trying to dry up the small cut.

"Think I don't fucking know that?" he asked back, agitated at your reactions to him. You waited for the bleeding to stop before throwing away your trash and grabbing a bandaid to cover the small cut to your finger.

You shrugged, "Never know with you. Never tell me anything. Don't know what you know or don't."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I-" you sighed, you didn't want to get into it, "Nothing, I'm tired." You walked past him again, grabbing a blanket and getting comfortable on the couch.

"You're sleeping down here?"

"Yeah, go to bed Katsuki," you turned away from him.

"Kats," he said softly, making you turn to face him again.

"What?"

"You stopped calling me Kats, it's only this Katsuki bullshit now."

"Whatever, Katsuki," you dismissed without thinking, turning back over as you tried to forget how he looked just then. It's how he looked at the party, just ten times worse.

"What happened to us?"

You didn't bother to reply, it was clear he wanted you to do the talking. But if he wanted to actually talk, he had to first.

"This," he paused, silence filling the air before he cleared his throat only for his voice to crack regardless, "This isn't what I want."

"You never told me what you wanted," you couldn't help but reply.

"I'm not good at this type of shit," he was angry at himself but you wouldn't fall into this pity party for himself. "I didn't think you'd change your schedule."

"You changed yours."

"I only did that because I needed to think," he defended.

"For two months?"

"I switched it back after but you weren't home, and haven't been since."

"So you couldn't have called? Asked me when I did get home at night? Woke me up in the morning to talk?"

"You could have done the same."

"I always do that Katsuki," you turned to face him, "I'm always the one fucking chasing you. And I'm done."

He choked, "You're done?"

"I'm done chasing after you," you clarified, "I've met you halfway, time after time, you just need to do the same."

Silence buzzed around the living room. The two of you were just staring at each other. Both are equally heartbroken. You looked him over for the first time in months.

"You're still wearing the watch," you pointed out, seeing the gleam of it on his wrist.

"You gave it to me," he replied, "I haven't used it since, by the way."

"Good."

He took a shaky breath in, "I'm so fucking sorry, Brains." You waited for him to continue, "You were right, I wasn't using it just as a crutch. I was completely relying on it." It hurt to hear it from him, you already knew it was true. "I, fuck," he ran his hand over his face, "I went to the doctor too, they said if I used it that much it'd kill me. Having my quirk completely off."

You couldn't be more glad about the fight now, knowing it kept him from killing himself. Sure it wouldn't kill him immediately, but over time it would just get worse and worse for his health.

"Once I found out you were right, I just couldn't bear the thought. I don't feel safe around you without my quirk dampened and now I can't," he admitted, "I feel my quirk just with this conversation. I don't want to hurt you."

"You were late to the party," you pointed out instead, "You never even congratulated me."

He hung his head, "I got sidetracked with trying to get a gift- but I was going to congratulate you at home."

"Doesn't excuse it."

"I know, I'm sorry," he reached into his pocket, "I got this for you though." He tossed the small bag at you.

You gave him an unsure look before opening it, first seeing a sticker of "World's Best Tech" an inside joke between the two of you. He hated the idea of #1 mugs and things like it, claiming he was better than everyone else. The next was just a small necklace, something easy to wear with everything.

"It doesn't make up for shit, and that's not what I'm trying to do with it," he said after you stared at the gift for a while.

"I know," you spoke softly, the gift was thoughtful for your relationship.

"I'm so fucking proud of you, I knew you could do it," he followed.

Tears were hitting your eyes harder than before. Despite claiming you didn't need him. You wanted to hear him say that so bad.

You saw him move to get up when he saw your tears, sitting back down and grabbing his own hands when he decided against it. You patted the seat next to you. As long as his watch wasn't on, you were okay. He rushed immediately to your side, tugging you into a hug before he could overthink.

"I should have talked to you a lot sooner," he spoke into your hairline, leaving a kiss on your forehead after.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry I can't be there for you like this," he said softly.

You pulled back from him, "What do you mean?"

"Can't hug you and shit," he grumbled, pulling you back into him. Not wanting you to see his face.

You sat in silence for a while, soaking in his words and the perspective he likely had the past two months. He could have thought you stopped talking to him because he couldn't touch you anymore.

"I'm not mad that you can't touch me, I'm upset that you don't talk to me, in general," you spoke just as softly as he did, wanting to comfort him the way he was comforting you.

He let out a breath of relief, "It's gotten worse without you around."

"What did?"

"My quirk just goes off without you now, just the thought freaks me out enough. Fuckin' annoying," he confessed.

"Is it going to go off soon?" you wanted to be prepared to be pushed away from him. If he did it unannounced you'd likely cry. He just squeezed you closer.

"No," he said quietly, "It's finally calmed the fuck down."

-Next Part-

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[astvrook]

洪水 | YANDERE THEMES | NI-KI.

"of course I've missed you, mum." you mumble, with the fluency of an actor. you'd even consider auditioning for a theatre major if you weren't so busy sorting out your new flat, instead of focusing on your college plans.

at home, your parents seem to have been struggling. growing up, you sometimes heard them talk about love and promise to be faithful to each other, but to you, love shouldn't be demonstrated through weekly fights that often lead to breakups or the threat of divorce, which puts everyone in the family's mental health at risk.

the only positive connection you had with your sister, but that complicity faded as you got older, as she fell into adolescence and became addicted to partying, clothes shopping and chatting with friends. meanwhile, you've moved to a new city to live on your own and continue your college studies in a new environment after applying for a transfer.

your main goal and dream is to maintain excellent grades, so you won't be forced by your parents to move back. and sure, you don't miss much about your old town. In fact, you had some friends there that you left behind, good friends who may now think you're selfish for not even saying goodbye to them, among them ni-ki.

nishimura riki, a year younger than you, came into your life thanks to his relationship with your younger sister, which began three years ago. with his sharp tongue and quick temper, he was a sweet boy who somehow impressed you and stood out among the others. over time, you became close to each other as you discovered that you shared common tastes, had a similar sense of humour and seemed to complement each other. and yet, you eventually had to walk away from him, not because of the implications of a stronger-than-usual relationship, but because of what that closeness stirred up inside of you.

more precisely, things changed between of you that night you went out to celebrate his coming of age and he tried to kiss you. while he quickly apologised for his thoughtless act and reiterated his interest in your sister, it was clear in his eyes and shyness that his feelings were not as clear as he had intended. you silently wondered why he didn't acknowledge his interest in you. and as much as you hated the situation, the suspicion that he might have been in love with you warmed your heart a little, although you felt pity for waiting for someone who wouldn't fight for you.

so you decided to move away to protect your emotional peace from people who could complicate your life.

determined not to fall in love just for the sake of appearances, a few weeks after moving to the new city, you ventured out. you felt it was the right time to have new experiences at your age, so you set up dates with people you met online and sometimes arranged them when you had time off from your university studies. you made it clear that you weren't looking for a relationship at the time, and although you felt like you were being watched in these situations, as if there was something wrong or someone judging you, you tried to convince yourself that it was just delusional paranoia.

"i'll call back later, need to hang up," you stated hurriedly, trying to say you were busy without wanting to sound rude, especially since the caller was your mum.

and, as you grab the doorknob to enter your apartment, you get the unpleasant feeling that it's damp. "yuck" you think, but you quickly head to the kitchen to start organising what you've just shopped for.

"maybe you will, or maybe you won't. i do. i know you well, (y/n)," says your mum. "and before I forget, just wanted to tell you that (your sister's name) wanted to talk to you this morning. she seems to need help with her birthday arrangements."

you scowl as you notice that the air-conditioner is not on and respond: "i'll take care of it, but it's got to be her who calls me, mom, she's got a mobile phone after all."

"she claimed to have called you, but there was no response to her messages," insists your mother.

"that's not possible…" you start to argue, but as you check your phone on the dresser to scroll through the notification bar, you notice your sister's missed messages and calls from a few days ago. "ouh…"

you notice that you've been carrying your phone with you less often lately, and you face reality and admit that you only carry it when you have an important date, and also when you want to get away from something or someone, and you realise this when you see ni-ki's messages.

"she's your sister, (y/n), you shouldn't ignore her. I don't know what happened between the two of you or what's going on, but you'll have to work it out. just remember that you're older and you shouldn't act like a spoilt girl."

the term "spoilt girl" was familiar to you, as your father used to call them that when they fought over a toy. It's so ironic.

"well… au revoir, mum," you said before hanging up.

although your mum was right that you should work on rebuilding your relationship with your sister, you were reluctant to do so in a short phone conversation of twenty minutes or fewer. plus, you're not yet ready to admit the real reason why you "broke" up with her: your mistake of falling in love with her boyfriend. so, for now, you prefer to wait for your guilt to subside before facing his advice, while you go to organise the products in the fridge.

about sixty minutes later, when you hear a notification on your mobile phone, your body goes into alert mode because it might be the girl you went out with yesterday, minji (she, with her black hair flowing gracefully down her back and a face that could touch the gods themselves, gave you a great time strolling along the seashore) and without wanting to admit it, your impatience overwhelms you, as if you were a schoolgirl eagerly awaiting another text message from her, or yearning for some sign that you're not so boring (again) that she doesn't want to go out on a second date with you.

by contrast, when you switch on your mobile phone and see a new message from ni-ki, feel like time has stopped, leaving you unable to move. although a wave of emotions overcomes the panic in your heart, your mind urges you to take a deep breath and count to a hundred. and the idea of staying calm is a distant option at the moment.

one side of your mouth is crooked, you realise, and in your mind you criticise him, silently pleading that it's not the end. but you soon realise that you look pathetic because you can't even reply to one of his messages.

so you decide to ignore him again.

(...)

just after midnight, ni-ki entered the apartment, moving cautiously as if he was afraid of waking up his girlfriend in their shared apartment, an idea that proved true for him, at least in his mental world. he moved slowly through the environment, stopping at the end to stare at the door with relief when he realised how easy it was to get in, and felt a brief moment of triumph as he savoured the sensation, which quickly gave way to the reality of being in your space.

"finally..." ni-ki spun around, letting any trace of manners fade away, rivalled only by the sound of his slippers on the floor and by the beating of his heart.

before he enters your room, he releases the handle to lift his feet, removes his slippers and places them next to the wall in a gesture that others don't consider necessary but you appreciate as a sign of good manners. and he congratulates himself because he has eliminated from his behaviour what he knows bothers you: eating with his mouth open, using the phone while eating, talking too loudly in important situations, etc. all to please you.

sure, most people fear death, but for ni-ki, the biggest fear is not being loved. ever since he saw a picture of you on your sister's phone, he has been trying to be the perfect boy. he has adopted your favourite colour, your culinary tastes, and even your film preferences. needless to say, he studied how to behave with you, wondering if one day your eyes would fall on him or you would miraculously wake up feeling perfect and wishing he were by your side forever.

your sister may have been nice at first, which ni-ki liked. however, he started the relationship mainly to fit in with his friends and to avoid being teased for being single. you and she inherited your mother's hair colour, share the same eye colour and have a strikingly similar appearance. despite this, (your sister's name) failed to awaken ni-ki's desire to dominate her, and as the days passed, her desire to end the relationship grew.

he chooses not to wait for you to wake up to speak, instead reaching into the collar of his shirt to lift the fabric over his head, and makes room for his torso to be caressed by the coolness of the room, settling with his knees on the mattress on either side of your hips.

you almost always sleep on your stomach, giving him a free hand to climb up and kiss you on your upper back.

a faint humming sound from your mouth interrupts the silence of the night.

"shh… just go back to sleep in peace."

ni-ki notices your limbs relaxing and your lips quivering, and stops abruptly. he places his hand on the side of your face, asking for support and confessing, "when i heard you left, i almost lost my mind, can you imagine? can you imagine? without you, i'm nothing."

his throat is dry and muscles are tense, as he brace for what's to come…. something bad. although ni-ki had promised to give you time to fall in love with him, promises often remain unfulfilled. and tonight, that promise will cost you dearly.

"how naïve, noona. always so selfish to bring everything of yours and not come back." ni-ki continues to speak, barely able to moving his body away from yours, his nose buried in your hair and feeling dizzy from the fragrance. "but forgetting the most important thing: of me."

LISTA MAESTRA DE ENHYPEN

[kingconia]

could i request Vil with gn!younger sibling that looks up to Neige?

A/N: That was actually kind of fun to write. Poor Vil, he just can't take a break from Neige's fans...

GN!YOUNGER SIBLING OF VIL, WHO LOOKS UP TO NEIGE CONSTANTLY

— Since Vil was always working, he was prepared to miss changes in your character and life. You were growing up, getting new hobbies, and... Oh? You wanted to became an actor as well? Really? What made you–

— ...What do you mean you want to become like Neige Le Blanche?!

— I don't think he would be mad, most like disappointed and genuinely betrayed by this statement of yours. Why of all celebrities that existed you chose Neige?

— He will be very insecure because of that. You are his sibling, his family—if he is not enough for you, then how can he be enough for auditory and other people?

— However, I don't think Vil try to show his feelings about this matter openly. He would never confront you, because he understands that it would look too petty;

— But his eyes will always lose a certain type of sparkle, when you start speaking of Neige;

— Little did he know the origins of your strange dedication to him, though...

•

When you shyly invited Vil to come along on your first big interview ever, just as a moral support, he was more than happy to accept.

You worked hard for a while, and Vil couldn't miss something like this—you finally got the recognition you deserved, and not because of the family name as you afraid it would happen.

And, even more he was happy to see, that even throughout all these years, you still counted in his company in moments like this. He couldn't let you down.

However, when the interviewer brought up the topic of Neige Le Blanche, Vil definitely wasn't happy...

”Y/n-san, as far as I remember, in the last year, on the premiere of your first movie, you had mentioned that your first inspiration ever was Neige Le Blanche,” the woman started, looking through her notes. ”And, oh, I think we all love Neige, that is undoubted, but... I can't help but wonder what was the exact moment, when you realised it? What he said—or did, perhaps—that changed your life so suddenly?”

Vil scrunched his nose.

Truth to be told, it was the question he didn't know the answer himself.

When it came to speaking of this little devil, Vil ignored whatever you said. And eventually, as you noticed this tendency of his, you stopped talking about him at all.

”Oh,” your face softened instantly, smile raising on your lips. ”When I was a little kid, I often was left all alone—my dad and my big brother were always working, that was why—and so, I spent most of my time, watching something on the TV. And that was when I stumbled across his interview. Yes, yes, I am going to be honest with you—before that, I had never seen him acting. It was after this interview, when I started to learn about him more.”

Vil raised his eyebrows in a slight surprise. He always assumed that much like others, you saw talent in his roles. And now, your obsession seemed even more strange.

”It was an interview for the Magicgue, where he told about his way in the industry. He spoke a lot about his motivation, and his family situation—how he came there only to earn more money for people, who took care of him so wholeheartedly,” you started to explain, hands playing with the ring on your index finger. ”Oh, it is an amazing interview, by the way. I watch it often, even now.”

”Ah, yes, I remember it, too.”

”This interview got me thinking about so many things at the same time, but... Let me share with the most important ones,” suddenly, Vil noticed a hint of embarrassment on your face. ”Back then, when I first saw it, I used to be mad at my brother a lot. He was always away, tending to forget about me. And only when Neige spoke of how hard it is, to be a young actor and celebrity in general, I came to realisation that... My brother forgets about me not intentionally. Filming is not a silly entertaining work. And that the fact he still manages to remember about me, through whole labour he goes through—that what should matter the most.”

He had never thought about that. He didn't even know that you used to resent him before. Vil could never guess that you cared that much about his absense.

”... Instantly, I wanted to understand how can I help him,” you continued. ”I wanted to support him. And that only meant that for that, I need to understand him. So he could share with me the weight from his shoulders. It was the first reason I decided to try myself as an actor. Of course, later I found out that there so much more interesting and thrilling, though, tiring things about acting, but...”

Vil didn't hear the rest of it.

You were right, he realised. He was distant from you, until you decided to became a celebrity yourself. And if not for that, Vil would never share his fears and insecurities, different kind of experience with you. Because, he did only to help you in the future—either way, Vil would keep it to himself until the very end. How could he burden his little one like that, after all?

Suddenly, Vil couldn't be bothered by your Neige's obsession anymore. Not when it was always about him, in the first place.

Not when you cared about him all this time.

”We have a footage after that,” Adele hissed in his ear suddenly, tugging him on the sleeve.

”Yeah,” Vil nodded automatically, a loving gaze directed fully on you. ”And?”

”Stop ruining your mascara, idiot.”

He blinked a few times, and only when his fingertips touched his cheeks, he realised that there were tears, running down his face.

Yet, it only made him smile.

Today was a good day.

”I am just very proud of them,” he muttered.

And that was, indeed, a truth.

[mimi-cee-genshin]

Until You're Convinced - Subject Two x f!reader

Summary: Albedo is struck on Dragonspine and asks Subject Two to get help. But when he runs into you, your warmth causes him to fall for you. He knows your relationship can't last; you've mistaken him for Albedo. Yet, he continues to desire to be by your side, even if the one you long for isn't him.

Other Info: Subject Two/Fake Albedo/ Rubedo x f!reader, Albedo x reader (one-sided); fluff and angst with happy ending; 1.0k; lightly edited

Notes: Felt like sharing what's basically the outline of my Subject Two idea here. I don't think I have time to write this one even those I love this idea. Maybe one day.

*****

You have a crush on Albedo and you see him frantically running around Mondstadt looking for someone. You wonder what's wrong with him. He's actually Subject Two and he's looking for Lumine for help because Albedo is in trouble. He's currently in a sort of hibernation mode in Dragonspine so he won't lose control and destroy Mondstadt in the process.

When Subject Two comes back after finding Lumine, you offer him a meal and a rest after his long search. He's touched by your smile and the care that you give him – before he remembers he needs to pretend to be Albedo.

Your insecurities eat away at your insides. You think that Albedo is in love with Lumine because of how much he sought after her, and with a heavy heart, you admit to (Fake) Albedo that you're in love with him.

After that day, Subject Two runs into you often at the restaurant while he's working with Lumine and some of the Knights to help Albedo. You're still kind and friendly with him, but despite his aloof and slightly cynical personality, he can empathize with your unrequited love for Albedo because of his own unrequited familial love.

He often wants to see you because you radiate a warmth that he never experienced. Yet he knows you treat him this way because you think he's Albedo. As a result, he continues to act kind and friendly like Albedo would.

One day, you tell him you're going on vacation and plan to take a trip to Liyue. Surprisingly, Subject Two asks to come with you. (He tells himself it's not out of character for Albedo to ask this.)

You chat with him as you stroll through the streets of Liyue and you buy little souvenirs for people back in Mondstadt. You ask him when is his birthday, and he tells you he doesn't know, forgetting that he's supposed to be Albedo. You decide you can celebrate his birthday today and buy him a red scarf.

He's surprised you thought to give him a present. But because you misinterpret of his reaction, you ask if you shouldn't give it to him because he likes Lumine. Subject Two recalls how much Albedo talked about you and wouldn't be surprised if Albedo did love you back. He tells you that he likes you too.

From that day on, your relationship with each other grows. He gives you a necklace on your birthday in return for the scarf and you bring him along on your days off to wherever your feet would take you.

But Subject Two continues to deny the fact that he isn't really Albedo. He had pretended to be Albedo before, so why take his identity like he did before?

However, it had been years since he created that cryo whopper flower and he began to have a good relationship with Albedo after that. In fact, Albedo was the one who told Subject Two to pretend to be him while he was locked away on Dragonspine. He didn't want people like Klee to worry. Yet, Subject Two wanted to continue to be by your side, causing the turmoil inside his heart.

Lumine comes to Subject Two, telling him they've found a solution for Albedo. Knowing he can't continue with his relationship with you, he tells you that he needs to break up with you because soon he's going to forget everything that happened with you. You urge him to explain himself but he can't bear to tell you the truth that he wasn't Albedo. You were in love with Albedo, not him.

He disappears on you, telling you to forget him and you are left in despair. When Albedo returns to Mondstadt, he really doesn't know anything that happened between the two of you. But it's too hard for you to pretend as if those times together never existed.

Several months later, Subject Two is at Albedo's camp in Dragonspine. He's been hiding out in the mountain ever since. It's where he always lived anyway.

He opens the trunk full of his belongings, sees the red scarf you gave him and wraps it around his neck. You walk up from behind him and he stuffs the scarf in the trunk and closes it.

You say you recognize him and he admits it's true. He has met you once as Subject Two but he didn't really talk to you.

You say you wanted to see him, but he says you barely knew him. In a sense, it was true you never knew him. He pretended to be Albedo the whole time without showing his true personality. You tell him that you can start to get to know him now. He brushes you off and tells you to do whatever you want.

Little by little, you come to visit him on Dragonspine. And little by little, Subject Two would slip up on things he's not supposed to know about you until you finally tell him, "Albedo, never lost his memory, did he?"

He snaps at you and pretends he doesn't know what you're talking about. But he sees that you're wearing the necklace he gave you, hoping the Albedo you knew would come back. You ask him again if it was him, if he was the one you spent all that time with.

You tell him of all the things you missed about him and it dawns on him that you listed things related to his personality and not Albedo's. More and more of his personality slipped through the more he spent time with you and he didn't even notice.

At this point, Subject Two is still in denial that you'd still choose him over Albedo. "Then why is it that, after only meeting you a few times, I only think about you? You won't leave my mind," you tell him.

He finally gives up and tells you all about who he is. That he was a failed experiment. That he had tried to kill Albedo before. That Albedo was stuck in Mondstadt and asked him to take on his identity.

He doesn't know how to take all of this in. He doesn't understand why you'd want him over Albedo. So you tell him you'll stay by his side until he's convinced that you really do love him.

*****

I hope you liked this even if it's not a full fic like I usually do. Please check out my other fics if you enjoyed this one. :)

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Not Another Love Song by Julie Soto

4.5/5. Releases 7/17/2024.

Heat Index: 8/10

Vibes: rivals to lovers, celebrity classical musicians (?), "I wanna fuck you so bad it makes me look stupid"

Gwen Jackson is a naturally gifted violinist, having been taught by shop owner Mabel. Graduating from playing for tips on the subway to being offered first chair in the Manhattan Pops orchestra means fulfilling a dream. Not so happy about it is cello player and musical prodigy Xander Thorne--who happens to be a member of a band Gwen was (is) a fan of. But she's a fan no longer, sensing Xander's resentment... and something else. As the two are inevitably drawn to each other's talent--among other things--they have to figure out whether their blossoming relationship is more important than their long term goals.

OOOOH, this one hit. As someone who doesn't know much about classical music (honestly, a big question of mine was: is the fandom around famous classical musicians this intense? Like, I believe that it is, I've just never experienced it) I was sucked in by the passion in the story and the way Julie Soto seamlessly blended Gwen and Xander's obsession with music into their growing fixation on each other. There's a delicious tension in the first half of the book, flitting between anger and irritation and kinship and desire. And once it bubbles over... whew.

I really enjoyed Forget Me Not. Not Another Love Song has made me a fan. I'm ready for whatever Julie Soto writes next, because this is what I want from a contemporary romance: a sense of reality heightened by drama (and angst), high heat, and FURIOUS passion. This is a good time.

Quick Takes:

--Dude. I may not be very knowledgeable about classical music, but I do know that it should be properly utilized as a Sexy Device in romance novels. (And to be real? In fiction, as a general rule.) This book may utilize classical music in the sexiest way possible. Like, often when I read early reviews going "the X scene!!! omg omg!!" I kind of expect to be let down. Not because the scenes are bad, but because they're so hyped.

The cello scene? In this novel? Lives up to the hype. Like, more on that later, but... It's not just about the physical things that happened when Gwen and Xander play. It's also about their focus one each other when they're supposed to be playing, the way she in particular drives him to distraction. I will say--the rivalry stuff lasts longer than the true resentment. It becomes pretty clear, pretty quickly that Gwen doesn't really hate Xander. And that Xander wants to fuck Gwen's brains out.

But uh, I was not upset about that development. I feel like a lot of authors try to pull off "seething sexual tension" and fail. This was an absolute win. I know in my heart that if I saw these two playing in real life, she would be desperately trying to pretend she didn't notice him; and he would be playing his ass off while ROCK. HARD.

--All that aside, I also think that this actually feels like two people in their early to mid twenties falling in love? Like, the finances are probably off, but you kind of have to handwave some capitalist hellscape stuff to set a contemporary romance novel in a big city in this day and age... But the way they act, the mistakes they make, the exuberance they both have for falling in love, the DUMB HORNY moments... it all read right to me.

I also appreciate that Xander, for all that he is a hot and talented dude by whom Gwen is intimidated at first (until she isn't) and with whom she is infatuated, still strikes me as a dude. Like, he's gifted and he's deep and he has mommy issues like crazy and manipulative entities in his life. But a lot of how he reacts to things--it may not be rational, but it is human, especially for someone who's really still figuring his life out. He's a mess! And that's okay! Sometimes he and Gwen don't make the right decisions in their relationship, but that doesn't mean the relationship is broken beyond repair.

--There's some really juicy familial and professional drama beyond the romance, and one thing I loved is that there isn't a clear "good side" or "bad side". Some people have their shitty moments because to be human is to be intermittently shitty, but not inherently, wholly bad; some people just choose to be shitty all the time, and they aren't on designated sides. There isn't a single perfect option when the choices are presented to our leads.

There's a lot of gray, basically. And I like living in the gray of a book.

--Julie Soto is setting up her own universe, and I'm seeing the places these characters could go. It's not just about setting up future books, though; it's also about creating a community for her leads.

The Sex:

UGH. This book was hot. Like, it's honestly a relief when I read a contemporary romance novel that's this sexy. Yes, there is the cello scene, and much "then I will sit here, consumed with lust until for the rest of the evening". But there is a lot more. I feel like this is one of the hotter tradpub contemporaries I've read in a while. They're all over each other, they're vocal, there is a scene in which things are done while people are on the phone...

I'll definitely be rereading some of those scenes.

In conclusion, Not Another Love Song is fun, swoonworthy, and passionate. It's exactly what you want an author's second novel to be--topping the first, while maintaining all the things you loved about it. I'm so excited to see what Julie does next.

Thanks to Netgalley and Forever for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[thethirdromana]

I was gonna ask you some stuff about Quincey and the aftermath of the Civil War, but that wasn't really near the 1890s so idk if it's relevant.

Also similar to Mina maybe supporting eugenics I would imagine Seward probably engages in a lot of pseudosciences

But more interestingly, what do you think Dracula's politics would be? He's pretty removed from human society by being a vampire and his home in Transylvania is pretty remote, but he was still a nobleman there and he was moving to England, which he planned to conquer. I'm curious where he'd fall, when pretending to be and working with (?) humans in Romanian politics (if you feel like researching it) and English politics. Another cool layer to this is if you subscribe to the popular theory that he's really Vlad the Impaler. What would a warlord from the mid-1400s think of the politics 400 or so years later? That's barely even thinking about him being a vampire.

Also, what would Renfield's politics be like?

Quincey and the aftermath of the Civil War is a fascinating question that I will definitely leave for someone who knows more US history than I do.

Dracula, on the other hand... first of all, the relevant set of politics is Hungarian, not Romanian. Transylvania was part of Austria-Hungary in the 1890s. There's actually an interesting story here, in that vampire myth was originally associated primarily with Hungary. Then Bram Stoker set Dracula in Transylvania, which became part of Romania in 1920, and Romania ended up inheriting vampire myths in the process. Which has generally done the Romanian tourist industry no harm at all. (Though when I was in Bucharest last weekend, my lovely tour guide, Andrea, was clearly a bit annoyed by people asking about it).

Anyway, we have a decent sense of what Dracula's politics are, because he spells them out on May 8: he's proud to be part of a fighting, conquering race, he values "warlike days", he disdains peasants, and he generally holds that might makes right.

Given his pride in "beating the Turk on his own ground", I think we can assume that he didn't approve of Austria-Hungary's neutrality in the Russo-Turkish War in 1877-8.

In some ways he fits into contemporary society. He is a boyar, one of the highest rank of feudal nobility, who retained a great deal of power in 1890s Austria-Hungary. Where in the UK the growth of industry made the middle classes wealthier, in Austria-Hungary that wealth often went straight back to the nobility. Just six percent of the population had the right to vote in general elections, compared with 18% in the UK (meanwhile New Zealand had universal suffrage from 1893).

But Dracula is still a product of an earlier time. He wants to increase his power through conquest, not through modernising his estate or being appointed to the board of directors of a bank. And while Austria-Hungary did grow through conquest (occupying Bosnia and Herzegovina in 1878, for instance), it wasn't at nearly the same scale as other contemporary empires - for example, Austria-Hungary didn't take part in the Scramble for Africa.

Honestly, it makes perfect sense that Dracula would want to come to Britain. If he wanted conquest, carried out with indifference to cruelty, he would have got on extremely well with Cecil Rhodes. To an extent this is what the story of Dracula is about: what if foreigners came to Britain and did to us what we do to them? The War of the Worlds, published at the same time, asks essentially the same question but with aliens.

(This is the bit where someone comes along and says yes, but don't forget that Bram Stoker was Irish. Which is true, but he was also a supporter of the British Empire.)

As for Renfield, most of what we learn about his politics comes from October 1. He's from high society and is a member of the Windham Club. He celebrates the roles Quincey, Van Helsing and Arthur play "by nationality, by heredity, or by the possession of natural gifts" - in other words, he seems to be open to people advancing themselves through meritocracy, but also through hereditary rights. To me, this reads as conservative, but not reactionary.

One thing that does strike me is that his point about Texas - celebrating its admittance to the Union - relates to history that was 50 years old at that point (Unless I'm misunderstanding the reference?). Renfield is 59 during the events of Dracula. Is the implication here that he's stuck in the past? We don't know how long he's been institutionalised, but since his memories of Arthur's father relate to youthful drinking games, it could be 30 years or more. He may be disconnected from contemporary politics - and given how much the world changed in the late 19th century, that could make for quite a shock if he'd ever had the chance to learn more.

As ever, I'm not a historian, and other people should feel free to offer corrections.

[fallingforel]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could do numbers 5, 23, 62, 63, and 69 from your prompt list with like the reader being part of one direction and Harry dating her, and she falls for brad from the vamps. Like could it be angst between Harry and the reader where they’re together but then he cheats on her with someone (idk any celebrity or something like he dated Taylor at one point I think) and she goes to Brad and they’re friends but he’s been in love with her since forever and he comforts her and they get together. Also just make Harry completely regret everything if you can (I live for the cheating with no second chance trope, it’s amazing ❤️) thank you so much!! Have a great day!

A/N hi my lovely here it is for you, hope you enjoy and I hope you like it. dont forget those that want to request one the prompt list is here

1,548 words

PROMPTS 5, 23, 62, 63 AND 69: "you made your choice" "they didn't deserve you" "you think that this is easy for me" "I hate seeing you like this" "I don't like you...I love you"

⋆｡°✩

It was a well known fact that I was the 6th member and only girl in one direction, I was also dating harry from my band, on the outside things looked squeaky clean and it looked like we had a perfect relationship but we didn't we fought all the time, Harry was always jealous because I was best mates with Brad from the vamps, Brad and I have been lifelong friends as we both resided from the same part of Birmingham and we also went to school together. It wasn't my fault that I've always gotten along better with boys than I have with girls they were just easier to talk to and the fact that they weren't snakes behind my back.

So you could imagine Harry's reaction when I told him brad was coming tonight, even if he tried to hide it in the best way possible. I still noticed. It was hard not to, however we hadn't had a fight in three weeks and I wasn't about to start one now, I had just finally hoped that we were in an all right place.

"Brads coming tonight. He's in town got a show tomorrow, thought he'd pop by then celebrate with us as the end of this leg is today, was thinking we could go to his show tomorrow"

"mmh, yeah, be nice I 'spose"

"Yeah it would, come on we've got to get ready, we've got a show to perform"

⋆｡°✩

And the show went spectacularly well, I was at my happiest when I was on the stage with my band, with my fans screaming my name it was the most supportive feeling in the world, and I loved every second of it.

Now we were back in our dressing rooms ready to go out, It wasn't often we went out while on tour we'd only ever do it for special things like birthdays, end of legs or if someone new joined our team halfway through. Tonight though, we were celebrating the end of the leg of the tour we were currently on, zayn left a couple of months ago. And with Harry and I on rocky ground we all secretly knew that the band was coming to an end, we were all scared to admit it though, too afraid to say it out loud because then it would all become real.

I'm broken out of my thoughts by a knock on the door, which makes me wipe away the tears I didn't even realise were there, before I'm saying "COME IN" and I'm met with Harry peeping round the door

"Hey, hey. why are you crying my love? What's the matter?" "The bands breaking up isn't it?" "no? what makes you think that sweetheart?" "I mean, with Zayn leaving, you and I on rocky terms, we're all not the same people we were 5 years ago Harry, the bands dynamic doesn't fit anymore"

"Yes okay, zayn may have left, You and I may be on bad terms some of the time and yes maybe we have all changed, but nobody stays the same, it's pretty hard to do that darling, otherwise you wouldn't grow up. The dynamic still works all the same though. So for now, dry your tears, get a fit dress on and lets take our minds off this band breaking up nonsense"

And I do as he tells me joining them shortly in the addison lee taking us into the main part of london, so we could go to a night club. I was sat inbetween Harry and Brad and could feel the tension rising, more so from Harry than brad, Harry was being weirdly possesive with me and it didnt feel in a good way, like it usually does.

Soon arriving at the nightclub we all head inside and Louis takes Harry to the bar to get some drinks for all of us, even he could sense the tension meaning it was bad.

⋆｡°✩

"you did great tonight, y/n/n. Smashed it, if only you could've heard the chanting for your name. It was unreal honestly." Brad says from beside me perking me out of my daydream of nothing in particular.

"awwh, Braddy. You're sweet you" I say placing a kiss on his cheek as a thank you. I've always called Brad, braddy ever since we were in nappies because I was never able to pronounce my L's I soon learned, the name stuck around though.

⋆｡°✩

Having not seen Harry since he went to the bar, and hasn't come back since, It's been well over half an hour now, so I was getting pretty worried. So I decided to ask around if anybody has seen him.

"LOU! You haven't seen Harry have you? Haven't seen him since we got here." "No I haven't. Last I saw him was at the bar, said he was going back to you, that was about fifteen minutes ago" "thanks lou."

⋆｡°✩

10 minutes later Niall comes up to me interuptting the conversation I was having with Brad I had given up trying to find him he clearly didn't want to be found, "I heard you were looking for Harry, I found him, but you're not going to like it" "what Niall, where is he" "mens bathroom, that way" he says turning to point me in the direction of where the mens bathroom is.

Walking into the mens bathroom, I found a sight I didn't want to see, Harry going down on a girl, the girl that wasn't me. "OH WOW!" I shout earning both his and the girls attention. "y/n/n, baby-" "don't you baby me Harry, it is so clear what you think about me." "who the fuck are you?" the girl quips back at me. "his girlfriend honey, actually no his ex-girlfriend. Keep him he's yours he was a slag anyway" "oh thats rich coming from you y/n, I saw you getting close with Brad, a little kiss on the cheek" "we've always been that way and you fucking know it" "oh but it's so easy for you breaking up with me though isn't it, now you can run away with the btec version of me cause it's clear you have a type don't you" "YOU THINK THAT THIS IS EASY FOR ME? YOU THINK THAT I WANT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU? WELL I DON'T HARRY OKAY?, BUT ITS CLEAR WHAT YOU'VE CHOSEN, goodbye Harry, I'll see you soon for the american leg." is the last thing I say before I walk out of the men's bathroom and back to where Brad was sat.

"Y/n? are you okay?" is all he says before I break down crying and he wraps an arm around me. And an executive decision is made between the two of us that he's going to take me back to his for the night.

⋆｡°✩

In the taxi on the way back, I'm still crying and he still has an arm around me. "

what even happened? why are you crying?"

"Harry cheated on me" is all I can muster out before I'm a blubbering mess again

"I hate seeing you like this Y/n all I know right now is that he didn't deserve you, he never has but I've always been supportive of your relationship always been the shoulder to cry on because I'm your best friend and always will be here, and you know that"

And soon enough I'm on Brads sofa, with Brad laying down giving me a hug.

"you want to say something dont you?" I speak up breaking the silence between me and him. "yeah I do, and I don't care if it's the incorrect time, or what but I have to say it now, otherwise I never will, I dont like you y/n I love you, and I have for the longest time, and if you need time to heal I'm okay with that I can wait a little while longer for you darling" he says shocking me to my core, I will admit I always loved Brad, and I don't think I ever stopped not liking him I just think Harry was a distraction while I was away from him.

"oh brad, I love you too" Is the last thing I say before I'm pulled into a kiss from him and we make our way upstairs to his bed where we both reside for the night wrapped up in eachother and if we were to get stuck into each other as well, then that's nobody's business but our own

⋆｡°✩

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

we're both awoken to a pounding on Brads door, so we both rush down and he answers it, revealing a disheveled Harry who looks like he hadn't slept. He tries to enter but brad pushes him back with the door "she doesn't want to speak to you Harry, You really fucked it this time" "please just hear me out y/n. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to cheat, I love you so so so so much"

"You made your choice Harry, please just go. I don't want you here, just please leave, be better on yourself" which I was met back with silence and then the turn of footsteps up brads gravel drive was all that could be heard.

⋆｡°✩

end.

[imliterallyjustablackgirl]

Claire '' of course I know the name'' 2/2

Nostalgia is good, but it isn't meant to stay, so that's why she left. They both felt let down by emotions that wouldn't have lasted because they never knew each other, despite the forced sense of familiarity that seems to be forced upon us. Think about it, she has been presented as a form of distraction. Ex: when people have like a life outside of work it's celebrated, but it's a poor attempt at normacy from a guy who isn't yet ready to be normal (doesn't exist but ok) ? A lot seems to forget that Carmen growing up WAS a neurospiceyyy, stuttering and quite alone guy. Everything Carmen does, screams, I want to know what if feels like, but our guy doesn't know H O W . Truthfully he was always showed what he should seek, told when to apologize from Donna who to like from Mikey, so him liking Claire right now when he has vowed to change the chemisty of the restaurant with his busniness partner slash girl who is also friend aka Syd, a lap that if it fail its on him, hell yeah my boy's gonna run towards the past. Even, with Claire his supposed girl who is a friend, didn't have quite the patience to understand that? So truly how much layers do you except your lover to have? One? like his crush for you was enough and you went'' ily,kissy face'' like, you know what, let's move on. The reality of it, it feels like his way of honoring what Mikey would have liked for him not what he wants.I saw someone say somewhere (Tiktok?) that from a viewing point we might not like Claire because of how fast paced the Bear is and chaotic and everything that is normal seems boring or flat, she is meant to show us the outside world of the Bear, outside of cooking. I could see some of that with the aspect that she is a ER doctor, which in the real world would be fast but in the Bear universe, she seems..cozy? Out there running errands, letting people biiiiiiiiiiiiippp, while she twirls her hair on the phone in the hall (jk), if you asked me, it's just feels a bore to have so many interesting characters and then, Claire? I love Carmen, but instead of viewing her as this breath of fresh air she is always shown us as another thing that piles up on Carm anxiety ( i.e: The break down in freezer and the panick attack.) You know when people talk about love right, because she said she loved him, and we see how uncomfy he gets, he gave her a fake number for crying out loud., most people would love for you to balance it out, right be happy about your relationship but because of how much been with her has monopolized his attention, as a partner I would h a t e to know I'm the reason I think when saw @bbythurs say if your partner was in an opening of a really important event for them wouldn't stand down? Like, even when Carm came to their table, it was quick, swiftly and thoughtful. Like a partner would have understood if he couldn't because of how busy it got, I even remember her looking a little bit around, so the girl got a grasp on how busy the resto is, u'kna, 'the 'opening' of their restaurant. Mostly, if like our common friend, Fak literally said it's not a good moment, when @bbythurs said it was pushy , I recall even a word about how it reflect his family dynamic, the lack of boundaries and what not. It feels like we are supposed to like her. You know, she gives a really good ''everyone'' liked her at school- popular-ish, but also, that type of people often stay the same in a weird way?Remember when I said everything changes but stay the same? It makes me wonder if things we are meant to see endearing about her are the same things that show us that Carmen might not know boundaries when it concern relationship because his family didn't show him how , so someone who would lack some wouldn't raise alarm to him, because he wouldn't be able to hear it (get it, like in that one episode) and now he is left in the cold, literally. I'm going to leave you all to Carmen opening up to his friend who is a girl, Sydney, done not in a mental breakdown but an attempt to not make his wife understand him

[akesdraws-blog]

~°Grinch-meter °~ || Part. 2 ||

It's Christmas Eve morning. I send you all lots of hugs, I hope you are having a great time.

⛄✨⛄✨⛄✨⛄✨⛄✨⛄✨⛄✨⛄

💜Donatello🌡️

°•With a "Grinch-meter" of 75% •°

Our genius boy is the busiest this time of year.

So what makes his meter fill up is...The jobDonnie always has to be repairing many things, from a small rifle that burned out, to a frozen engine at the police station.

At Christmas time it seems that there is always something going wrong, and who will take care of it? That's right, Donatello is the answer.

Donnie's good heart turns out to be a bit annoying for him, because he usually stays late at the police station so that all the vehicles are in optimal conditions, of course, although the boss Vincent gives him a very good salary, nobody takes him away the tiredness that was earned as well.

And when you get to the hideout there's no rest, just more repairs, like changing the wires that got burned by the excess lights Mikey put up, or fixing the movie player because Raph hit it too hard again, even the truck needs to be checked. garbage because Leo heard a strange noise in the engine the night before.

This poor boy genius is exhausted these days, so it's hard for him to enjoy the holidays when he just wants to rest.

❄️How do we reduce that percentage?❄️

☃️Friends⛄

Help him turn off his brain for a while.

At the Christmas holidays many places close early, so take it to the museum.

Donnie will be as happy as a little child with whatever he can see to fill his mind.

He can spend hours and hours walking through every corner of the museum, you will even see him collecting information from some data.

And if you add a box of pop tarts to the tour in the museum you will be the most loved by the genie.

❣️Couple❣️

Two words: Coffee and blanketsTake Donnie away from work, it will be challenging but you can do it.

Once you've done that, give him a nice cup of coffee (decaf, but don't tell him) and cover him with the blanket while you pet his shell.

You won't take him out of the lab so stay seated at his desk so he can only focus on you.

Tiredness will take over Donnie's body to the point where he will fall asleep in your lap. (I hope you didn't drink too much punch, because you'll be Donnie's new pillow and he won't let go of you for a long time)

💙Leonardo🌡️

°•With a "Grinch-meter" of 90% •°

That's right, believe it or not.

What fills the "Grinch-meter" of leo is...The patrols.

Sounds weird, I know, but it's not exactly the patrols that bother him, it's what he sees on patrols.

Christmas parties often result in what he calls "Christmas trouble."

The assaults grow, the robberies abound, the riots are the ones that reign in the streets of New York.

Leo can't force his brothers to go out on patrol because it would turn into an endless wave of fights and it's the last thing he needs, so he's used to doing it alone.

He takes some calls from Chief Vincent as many officers take the day off around this time, which means catching bank robbers, toy robbers, even supermarket robbers, was not a very pretty thing to see.

I could list every fight over a bad gift that I ever heard while passing through the rooftops, the number of drunks who cause accidents whether they are drivers or pedestrians, even the poor delivery guys who get yelled at and complained about being a couple of minutes late, and not Let's forget the fights of couples that for some reason always end on those dates.

Leo always tries to carry the full weight of the city's security, so it will be very difficult for him to just celebrate it and ignore the rest of the problems on the surface.So when he arrives at the lair he usually meditates long hours waiting for the day to end, all the stress ends up making him a real idiot, and nobody wants to be near the leader.

❄️How do we reduce that percentage?❄️

☃️Friends⛄

He steals her radio, leaving only a written apology. (Since you can't yell at a piece of paper)

To avoid scolding from the leader you will have to leave a series of notes for the leader to reach your location.

Why will he look for you? you will ask yourselfWell, for the simple fact that... You took his katanas. (And that does not make him happy at all)

Your notes led him to the train station where they saved April, then to the building where she took a picture of them where she found a chocolate with another note, which then led him to the alleyway where they met Casey, who was conveniently in the place to give him another note, to summarize your notes they took him to various places from the police station to the statue of Lady Liberty.

To end up reaching the roof of a commercial building, the place where you were with the leader's katanas.

And although you expected a scolding from the leader, you actually received a thank you, after all you gave him a fun "Treasure Hunt", and the place where they met was right in front of the famous Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center.

Leo always loved seeing that huge tree on the news and now he had the perfect place to see it so he couldn't be too angry.

Even so, he will force you to spend a few hours in the Ja'shi for taking the Katanas and radio from him.

❣️Couple❣️

Leave him some towels in the room, and a note saying you'll see him in the shower.

Once he is there tell him that he should enter the bathtub, and it will be your turn to pamper him.

As Leo sinks into the bathtub, he lights some scented candles and turns off the light, so the bathroom is illuminated only by candlelight and the relaxing scent they emit. (You can add a couple of bubbles to the tub if you want)

Have some tea within Leo's reach for his enjoyment.Wash his shell, massage his muscles, (maybe not that strong but Leo will love the sensation) let the water get lost between the plates of his chest.

Let me tell you about his day, no matter how long it takes, he'll love to know you're listening, but don't get distracted or you'll surely find a Leo asleep up to his nose in the bathtub. (You will have to ask one of the brothers for help so they can take Leo to his room to rest).

☃️❄️☃️❄️☃️❄️☃️❄️☃️❄️☃️❄️☃️❄️☃️

@post-apocalyptic-daydream . @turtle-babe83. @turtlesmakemehappy. @dilucsflame33 . @thelaundrybitch . @scholastic-dragon .

[kayssweetdreams]

Happy Birthday Happy Hour

(Birthday Fic for @shadowqueen402)

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIA!!

Reala scowled from his throne in the Night Dimension as he watched Aria celebrate her birthday in the real world. He could go there any time he desired, but due to the fact that he was...well, Reala, Everyone would pull all the stops to make sure he didn't get anywhere NEAR her.

But he couldn't help himself but gaze at her beauty from his small window to the Waking World. He watched as the maestros put on a special show for her, as well as many different foods from Wonderworld were being served. "Whatcha doin?" A voice tinged with insanity asked. Reala groaned as he saw Jackle leaning over his throne, his cape like body flopping like a wet towel over his throne. "Nothing of your concern JACKLE." Reala spat, pushing his non-existent head a push.

Jackle however, wasn't fazed, as he leaned on the OTHER side of the throne "I see you eyeing that visitor! She looks rather beautiful if I'm being honest!" He cackled. Reala gave a growl "Well look somewhere else. She's MINE." he said, fury in his eyes. "Well I don't see you over there, celebrating WITH her. Why don't you go there and wish her a happy birthday?" He asked with the innocence of a child. "Well, you know what's gonna happen if I go over there. I'll get a big serving of my traitorous sibling kicking my rear to kingdom come..." He stated bitterly.

"Well, I have something that'll take your mind off of it! Here!" Jackle cackled, pulling out a Brown, but fresh apple. "Here! Have some of these...happles." He said. Reala raised an eyebrow. Usually whenever Jackle gave him something, it would end up springing some kind of dangerous result in the end. Why in the Night Dimension would he bring him a Brown apple? "This isn't gonna DO anything to me right? Because if it does, I'm going to throw your cape in a wood chipper." Reala threatened.

Jackle gave his usual crazy smile "Of course not! Cross my Nightmaren heart!" He said, as innocently as possible. However, as Reala took a bite, he didn't notice that Jackle's smile was growing, and he was feeling...odd. the orange maren then began to float closer "So...About that party..." He started as Reala smiled.

Meanwhile, In Wonderworld...

Aria looked in beauty at the snowflake necklace that Iben had gifted her. The party that was held in her honor was going off without a hitch! It was actually a surprise party that Iben and Kaylo had planned together, and had gotten help from Balan to throw it. All of the inhabitants had given Aria wonderful gifts, and Balan and Lance performed a show in her honor, all the while, the Tims had given her birthday cuddles.

"Thank you everyone for the wonderful party!" She cheered, standing up from the throne that the Fort Bros had gifted her. "Of course darling! You had helped us in the past, it wouldn't hurt to return the favor." Lucy said, grabbing one of the snacks that were laid out for the party. A blush graced Aria's cheeks. It had been a while since the great incident of Nightmare Hiccups from Lance, and when the gang traveled to the Night Dimension to find the cure. However, her mind drifted to Reala whenever she thought of it.

"What's wrong Aria? Something on your mind?" Mei asked, placing down her own present. "Erm...Kinda. I was just thinking about Reala..." she admitted. THAT got both Balan and Lance curious, as they hovered over to her "Reala? NiGHTS greatest foe? What exactly is there to know?" Balan asked. "Well...I was kinda hoping he'd be here." Aria said quietly. "WHAT?!?!" NiGHTS, who had been listening in on the conversation, darted down and looked Aria dead in the eyes "Reala is DANGEROUS!! Did you forget what he tried to do?! He trapped you all in false dreams!!" They shouted.

"But...what if he COULD change? What if he was on our side? Could, given the chance." Aria argued, knowing that Reala often acted...Differently around her. NiGHTS was about to make their argument, when they heard the kids trying to wrangle Iben's kids away from a odd looking treat "No No! You guys can't eat those!" Debbie shouts, while Kaylo brings out a couple of mini cakes to lure them away. "Best to keep those kids away, Happy Hour Apples aren't meant for kids Anyway." Balan stated. Aria looked curious "Happy Hour Apples?" She asked.

"Apples that have an alcohol like taste. Minors beware of those apples in their haste. Too many of those would make you rather Tipsy, Why Lance once ate a lot, and danced like a gypsy." Balan said with a chuckle. Lance glared at him "Some things are better left unsaid. Although, some beings cannot get that through their head." He said in a scarily calm voice. Balan gave a booming laugh, until they heard Yuri scream "IT'S REALA!!!"

All the festivities seemed to stop at her yell as a dark portal opened in the air, as Reala flew out...and smacked into a wall. Balan, Lance and NiGHTS then took up defensive positions. "Reala! I don't know why you're here. But if you think you're gonna harm anyone here, you've got another thing coming!" NiGHTS shouted. However, instead of the usual retort, or threat, Reala just smiled and laughed...a rather giddy and carefree laugh.

"Hiya sibs! How ya doin?" Reala slurred, before drunkenly throwing an arm over NiGHTS shoulder. Leo got between the two maren "N-Not another step Reala! O-Or we'll get Balan and Lance!!" He yelled. The red maren looked down at him with a giddy expression "Go ahead and do so if yer brave 'nough. I know who you are, guuurrrl. And try as you may, you can't hide sleep f'rever!" He hiccuped. The fight in NiGHTS seemed to fade out. What had Reala gotten into?

Balan and Lance immediately summoned their magic and got between the two of them. "Is this a trick? Some kind of joke? You must be one sorry bloke." Lance threatened. Reala just giggled and gave a loud "Shhh... Don't tell my cousins this, but I ate these apples and I'm sooooo drunk." He shushed, wiggling his finger on Lance's lips before giggling like crazy again. Balan bit back a laugh "Dear me. Under the influence of Happy Hour Apples I see." He joked, looking down at the...rather silly Reala.

Reala's dazed out eyes then gazed over at Aria, who was looking at him curiously. His smile had gotten bigger as he dizzily floated over to her "You know, Vis'tor, there's this one Nightmaren named Reala. He liiikes yoooouuu. He thinks you're puuurrttty." He slurred out. He then floated over to a nearby table, while snatching a Shirley Temple float from Kaylo (earning a rather peeved "HEY!" from her) as well as a spoon. He then tapped the spoon as best as he could onto the glass "HEY EVERYONE! I'm gonna make a toast now...Heehee! Whysit called a toast when you can't eat it with jam and butter?" He giggled.

The children began to giggle at Reala's antics while he began his toast "I jus' wanna start by sayin...I'm sorry." He blabbed out "I'm Sorry for all that stuff that Wizeman told me to do...He was jus' havin a hissy fit. With his hand claws...He's like a cat, a really angry floating cat." He said. Purrla, Cass and Lance fell to the ground in laughter at his words. "And I also wanna say happy birfday to one of the most beautiful, and smartest, and kindest visitors in the wakin world. An' I wanna wish her a happy birthday." He giggled, raising the stolen glass into the air.

Everyone was fighting laughter at this point. Reala must have eaten a LOT of those apples to get like this. Reala then drunkenly floated over to Aria, and floated right next to her, now holding a plate that was close to him and pulled Aria closer to him "I-If you all 'scuse me, I'm takin' my girl on a ride." He hiccups, using the plate as a steering wheel and "driving" off. All laughter that was being held back officially came out at that point. Reala had officially become The life of the party.

Later on into the party, Balan and Lance had kept slipping the Happy Hour Apples over to Reala to ensure that he didn't...(ahem) Slip into had habits. And all through the party, Reala clung to Reala like a lovesick puppy, drunkenly letting little compliments of Aria out of his Tipsy mouth. By the time the party finally ended, Reala had to be dragged back to the Night Dimension by a Dying of Laughter NiGHTS...

But not without Aria slipping him one little kiss near his cheek. "Sweet Dreams Reala." She said, much to Reala's joy, as he shouted "I WAS KISSED BY AN ANGEL!!"

(Aria and the Happy Hour Apples belong to @shadowqueen402

Mei belongs to @sundove88

Rebecca belongs to @thehypercutstudios/@thehyperrequiem

Trisha Jane belongs to @lovelyteng

Debbie belongs to @mayordebbie )

[dynmghts]

no mother forgets the day they finally meet that precious screaming bundle of joy. mitsuki had never truly believed the whole "they grow up so fast" saying until becoming a mother herself. it feels as if time really has flown by and she truly cannot fathom how it has done so. what happened to that toddler who stubbornly refused to climb down from the tree? the same one that scurried away squealing seeing his mother climb after him with ease. a fond memory, a test for the pair of them. two stubborn peas in a pod.

now seeing him older, maybe wiser, poor mitsuki cannot help but smile with tears in her eyes. her little boy, all grown up. not so little now, really. he is already at her height ! practically a man now. no longer the little boy running about playing hero, he is practically already one.

❝ i know, i know, crying isn't your thing. ❞ already expecting that little observation of his. laughing softly as those same crimson eyes stare back at her [ he really is a mini - me. ] still full of fiery passion and determination. always has been like that, her little katsuki. ❝ just remembering when you were born, even then you were putting up a fight. so ready to take the world by storm from the moment you were born. i couldn't have imagined what an amazing man that little babe in my arms would've become. and look at you ! ❞ hands softly gesturing at him, still smiling. still beaming. ❝ my little hero all grown up and ready to show the world what you can do. look out world, katsuki bakugo is coming for ya ! ❞

hands come to rest on his shoulders. when did he get so tall ? he used to look up at her and now it's the opposite. her beautiful boy, all grown up. those tears are still stinging, sorry katsuki. your mother is emotional over you.

❝ but before you go taking the world by storm, we've organized a little birthday thing for you. remember those hikes we used to do when you were small ? we're gonna go up there with a homemade lunch, your favourite too. sound good ? just some time for us, like the old days. ❞ a little pause. ❝ we got you presents too ! ❞

here did she turn, only momentarily before turning back and holding up a brand new hiking bag. more suited now he's older, state of the line. with a set of sunglasses tucked neatly into a pocket with a little bow on top and a beanie in the opposite pocket. ya know, some essentials for hiking.

❝ happy birthday, katsuki. ❞

when katsuki was a child, his birthdays were something to look forward to. they didn't have to be elaborate. the young boy was perfectly okay with an all might themed cake, a party of close friends and family, gifts of his interests combined into a modest pile ; plenty that were all might related, of course, since no-one else would do ... [ why would he want any other hero ? ] ... but sharks were included. history too. bakugou katsuki would want for nothing more.

often, there would be an adventure into the mountains around his birthday as well ; an introduction to his favourite pastime, and a hobby he could spend with either or both parents. while he suspects it was to burn off his energy, it was the one thing that hadn't changed. he developed a love for marching through uneven terrain, undeterred, looking for the breath-taking view atop the mountains.

katsuki stopped wanting to do anything more than dinner for his birthday after ten. by twelve, it was more like going through the motions, less and less interested in actually celebrating. their yearly tradition of family hiking slowly faded to him going out solo.

his seventeenth was caught up in the middle of two wars ; while he and the rest of class a were searching for izuku, there was only a brief window in which his parents were able to wish him a happy birthday. it felt redundant, but enough. it was the first time katsuki made a promise to go hiking with them when it was all over, because of course he believed nothing bad could come of what follows. he's bakugou katsuki, great explosion murder god dynamight - he'd almost faced death once already and like hell he was going to let it stop him this time.

and then, the final war. the aftermath. the trials and tribulations.

despite the gruelling year between his birthdays, today is his eighteenth, joined by his final year of study at ua - he was already taller than his mother by sixteen, just a couple of centimetres above. now, he was even taller than that. a staggering extra six centimetres ! [ when he isn't slouching, giving the illusion he hadn't grown at all, he is just overlooking his father ; with that, bakugou katsuki was officially the tallest in their household. ] he stands in front of his mother now. his hands are in pockets with eyes rolling at the glassy look in hers - almost like he was sixteen again, discontent with the sudden emotional exchange.

but he isn't sixteen now. he's eighteen, and tall, and brave, and strong and undaunted by his past experiences ; a boy, now a hero.

❛ could you be less embarrassing ? ❜

katsuki tries to hide the way his face flushes from his mother's remembrance of his younger self - he doesn't doubt it, though, that he was loud from his first breath. [ he would make his presence known coming into the world, staying in the world, even in the distant future. ] he remembers enough of his rambunctious childhood to know that she's also remembering a determined boy. the same boy who would climb trees to get away from her. the same who would thrash about to avoid a bath, despite dirtied knees and face and hair.

the one who would find new and exciting ways to sneak up on her and try to spook her through the halls, in cupboards, behind the couch when she believed herself to be safe. or, the one who would make mitsuki play hero with him - where he'd charge in and practically barrel into his poor mother, all grins and laughter until she playfully concedes defeat, praising her little hero son for his victory.

before he gets any further in how embarrassing his mother was being, his brows furrow while looking at her, head tilting. a hike ? lunch ? presents ?

his confusion doesn't last long. crimson eyes follow her matching ones to look at the three gifts she's arranged, more than likely with his father in tow, prepared specifically for him - calloused hands seize the bag from hers. he turns it around with a keen eye, inspecting it, feeling the fabric. [ he expected high quality, of course. his parents don't settle for anything less, just the same as he does. ] he lifts the sunglasses out of its pocket to look through the lens, and settling it back in as he notices the beanie.

damn his father and his strong-ass emotions passing down to him, and damn his mother for getting stupid emotional on him too - the young blond huffs, gaze turning downward as he tries to settle the bag in his arms, awkward. he bites his inner cheek. he stares at the gifts before he concedes ; ❛ thanks, hag. ❜ [ she must be as thankful as everyone else he was still here to live out his eighteenth birthday. to keep being the hero she knows he is. ] ❛ gimme fifteen and i'll be ready for that hike. you better be able to keep up, or i'm leaving you behind to suffer the hard shit on your own. ❜

he jests, and he knows that mitsuki knows that. he also knows that bakugou mitsuki knew too well that her foul-mouthed, impolite son is actually a kind soul under all that bravado - as if he would leave his own mother behind.

to think that once, mitsuki was the one leading the way on trails with a very young katsuki following her, bewildered by his new surroundings and constantly watching his tiny steps to not trip over rocks that may be pebbles to the older bakugou. to think that he'd end up tripping over a branch anyway, and she would calmly clean his knees and put all might themed band-aids on the wounds. to think that she was once able to carry her son on her back with ease, especially when he would rub at one eye, exhausted, and quietly look at his mother with a plead for help.

on this upcoming hike, her eighteen-year-old boy will rush over logs and boulders with the occasional glance back. crimson will keep making contact with a matching pair, hand outstretched when he notices her struggling to climb up. he'll jest that she's getting slow but then offer to carry her stuff. and whenever they make it to the top with the view they're after, he'll be all grins and relaxed shoulders, idly chatting to her about anything and everything that comes to mind.

and in the end, that young, rambunctious, heroic son of hers - despite the hard two years he's had to face - hasn't changed a bit.

@antiquelic / katsuki's birthday wishes! <3

[danse--macabre]

trans astarion headcanons

talked to this about a few people individually, and decided to make a big old post.

so for starters: we are talking transmasc astarion. raised in some fancy smancy magical elf town. saw himself as a boy/man from a young age. transition was both easy and culturally accepted: transitioned young, magical t, bottom/top/whatever surgery etc. the works, ka-pow level 9 spell of here's your tits blasted off. he wanted it, he got it. he didn't quite conform entirely to the androgynous elven ideal, so to celebrate being hot and himself, travelled all the way from whatever fancy smancy elf settlement he was from to Baldur's Gate to make his big splash debut as a newly minted t-Man - and ran headfirst into becoming flamboyant law school frat boy, party boy slut who was pulling right left centre like a fucking conveyor belt, they were lining up (hey, what a better way to debut becoming sexy, lads?). still, smart enough to pass his exams despite the wild parties the night before, and well-connected, schmoozes his way into a successful respectable career aged 39 using his fraternity/society/elite men's club contacts to get there (and well, if he previously fucked some of them when in law school, who cares!). he's having the time of his life, enjoying loving his body very much, thank you.

and then he becomes a vampire. and he's frozen in time looking like this.

(cw: discussions of transphobia, misgendering, & trans fetishisation)

and at first, who cares -- this was always what he was supposed to look like, he's immortalised as this - as his peak - and you know the way youth is just lionised, put on a pedestal in queer spaces, he decides he doesn't fucking care. it's a relief.

(the quiet realisation he'll never grow old in his beautiful body, that maybe he had more growing to do, much more of himself to become, sometimes bristles at his subconscious -- but he bats it away in the same way he bats away things like 'hope' or 'optimism'. he doesn't have space for that while being crushed.)

anyway. two narrative possibilities here, in the vampire years:

fetishisation. transness becomes his entire sexual appeal, rather than part of who he is more broadly. lures chasers who are desperate to get their horrible hands on a hot t-boy, who often want him to perform in demeaning ways that may undercut his gender/misgender him. leans into the parts of astarion's narrative where he is often reduced to a sex object.

erasure. people believe he is cis, fuck him like he is cis, expect him to behave like he is cis. and he almost forgets he is trans. he becomes detached from that part of himself almost entirely - were it not for visual signals (e.g. top surgery/phallo scars that cannot fade over time), he'd do so. leans into the out-of-body dissociation elements occurring instead.

anyway, nautiloid happens, game happens. astarion doesn't pretend he's NOT trans, it's just something he tends to dismiss as 'not very important', and straight up won't come up until act 2. this minimising approach allows him some control over his narrative even if it is avoiding a difficult truth: others hurt him because he was trans, objectified him because he was trans, or simply didn't want engage with something they considered unpleasant.

we get to the final choice. a key facet of spawn vs. ascended astarion is acceptance versus denial. ascended astarion convinces himself that being a spawn is a demeaning experience where one would be better off dead, and uses that to justify killing 7k spawn (as well as part of himself). classic "accept oneself; live in pride vs. deny oneself; live in shame" queer dilemma. so it follows that astarion's journey with his transgender identity develops along those lines.

spawn astarion embraces his transness, and makes efforts to be trans in his own terms -- rather than for the gratification of others. he embraces his gender non-conformity and much more and is so much more playful with gender. this could develop into becoming genderfluid/non-binary gender where his particular mode of effeminate masculinity develops into something like 'sometimes I'm a she/her in stockings actually, but I'm never a woman', something he can only really embrace when he is no longer living in crisis mode, can accepts himself as a trans person, and knows he does not need to exist to be desirable to others. regardless of whether he's non-binary or simply gnc, i think it takes a fair bit of confidence & bravery for him to play with gender knowing it might jeopardise people reading him as masc, but he's tired of living for others wants & eyes.

ascended astarion in contrast, lives in denial about his transness. tries to convince you he's a cis man. and yes, he might be able to pass seamlessly, but he's quietly miserable.

[strawberry--bride]

{ @the-coincidence-child }

★ꕀ༒︎ꕀ★

Hands in his pockets, he gracefully walked around the manner hallways. It'd been years and he really had finally gotten more and more use to the triplets tormenting, actually he'd gotten good at ignoring it. He'd even gotten taller maybe by two inches but he was taller and much more intimadating. And plenty more mean, but maybe in a bit more of a "I'm tryna make people scared cuz I'm done with everyone's shit" kind of mean.

He stopped in the middle of the hallway however, when he found a little girl, bright white hair with a slight pink hue, laying on her stomach kicking her legs back and forth, colouring on the ground. Little Kiseki.. His new little sibling, Aslan was so very wrong about the cycle repeating. Sharon was still very alive his fathers curse was perhaps cured.

"Hmph.." He looked down at the younger girl, the moon making his eyes glow from above. This was his third time seeing the girl, as Aslan did not come with them when they'd moved out. 'I have duties to do here go without me' he said to Subaru as he begged him to come with them. They'd visit him of course, and Subaru would write to him once a week, Aslan twice a month. You could say they were getting better, as a father and son. However he showed not much interest in Sharon's pregnancy nor the little girl. So when they came so Subaru could also see Aslan on fathers day as well as celebrate Kiseki's birthday, he again shows not much interest in his half sister.

He looks to see what Kiseki was drawing, he only caught the slight glimpse of what it was. Kneeling down he forcefully grabs it, holding with one hand as he opens the card. 'I love daddy!' 'happy fathers day!' He can't help but grin at the words. "I forget that me and you live different lives.. And are growing up differently." He said. "But in all seriousness.." He rips the card in half, throwing each piece in the different direction. "It's quite pointless to draw such things, he already knows you love him why bother to show him with a stupid card.." He told her bluntly. Even though she was a kid, he wouldn't sugar code his words, and he'd be very much honest about how he felt with her. That's the big brother role isn't it?

★ꕀ༒︎ꕀ★

Unlike her older sibling, Kiseki harbored no hard feelings against her father. Why would she? For as long as she could remember, he had always been a kind, doting parent. While he did have his 'moments', accidentally letting his potty mouth get the best of him, she never once felt 'not loved' by him. This often made it difficult for her to understand why the boy would speak so ill of her beloved dad.

As for her relationship with Aslan ーー It was a complicated one to say for sure. He had been part of the family ever since was born, but the two of them only saw each other a couple of times a year. Being rather shy by nature, she did not even dare talk to him at first. Sure, his intimidating aura and the permanent glare stuck on his face did not help in that regard.

However, over time she had opened up to him, even acknowledging him as her big brother and addressing him accordingly.

"Ah! Onii...! I'm not finished yet!" She protested when he initially pulled the piece of paper from underneath her nose.

The small girl got up on her feet to try and snatch her artwork back, but the other was much taller than her, so it was a lost cause.

The snarky remarks were nothing new, but even so, she did not think he would rip the drawing in two, her eyes widening in terror.

Unfortunately, this was not the first time Kiseki had been in this sort of situation. She would often get picked up at kindergarten and those bullies loved nothing more than to knock over her block tower or destroy her crafts.

"Uu..."

Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, but she tried her best to hold them back, not wanting to be called a crybaby as well. Instead she shook her head, forcing a smile instead.

"Actually...The drawing didn't turn out that well. Daddy's hair needs to be more fluffy! I'll try again and get it right this time!"

[nightyslibrary]

Pizza Means Family

Another separated au, where Mikey is the only turtle Splinter saves. While he finds April accidentally and wastes no time to call her his sister, his siblings are raised by two of the famous bad guys. This get out of control when six of them end up at the same place, and each sibling has to decide what to do with what they learn. aka where you belong au because I'm either too good with titles or too bad haha

🐢 Click here to read on AO3 | 1,693 words | for WYB AU stuff click here 🐢

Chapter 1: Just a Few Hours Ago, When Everything was Normal

Mikey grinned as he read April's message. Tonight they had made a plan, a late celebration for Mikey's birthday. Since she and Mikey couldn't celebrate it outside as they had planned because of her school, they had postponed it to today. Which Mikey had been hardly able to wait.

They would go eat pizza, have some fun at the roofs, hang out in several places, jump into a pool... so many activities that Mikey was ready for. He and April would meet in the back alley of her apartment. The text was a reminder, in case Mikey got too lost into hobbies- again. The box turtle was grateful for his sister's thoughtfulness, but she should've known there was no way he was forgetting about this.

Maybe he should start getting ready though.

Mikey leaned to get his pouch, wristbands, socks, kneepads and lastly bandana. The bandana was April's gift for his birthday (along with another gift). He and April had learned how to make their own accessories, sew their own clothes, and such stuff from various sources over the years (like her mother's magazines, internet, and Splinter teaching them). This bandana was a result of that, a symbol made with their mutual knowledge over the craft and friendship.

It was nice to have a big sister who would always know how to give the best gifts.

He wondered if his brothers would be good at giving gifts too.

Mikey looked at the table, a few drawings of his ideas and imagination based on the information he accidentally found out on his thirteenth birthday. He still could remember the shock of hearing his dad talking to himself, mourn the turtles he never was able to save. How he wished to be able to find them, and how he hoped they weren't with Draxum. Mikey wondered who that Draxum guy was. But what he currently cared about was how he had siblings.

Dad had said three names.

Raphael, Leonardo, and Donatello.

That day Mikey had gotten so excited that he had texted April to meet, and without waiting an answer had run to her place. He had some lost brothers to find, and he had to share his plan with her. April had agreed to help, but she had told him that they should plan this with more care.

They had tried their best on their search, April joining whenever she had free time. They had found nothing.

This didn't stop Mikey from wondering who they were. How did they look? What food did they like? Did they grow up in sewers too? Were they a fan of Lou Jitsu or Jupiter Jim as well?

Did they know about him and Dad?

Another message ping distracted him from his thoughts.

🏵 April🏵:

You better be ready and heading out.

Mikey winced, noticing how much time had passed. If he didn't move, he'd be late.

As he walked out of his room, he glanced at the drawings of his dad, himself, and the other three turtles.

Once again, he wondered if they were really out there.

Once again he told himself he'll find them.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Red had a bad feeling.

Yes, Red was anxious often and felt bad about some stuff more than the yokai who raised them or the gargoyles that took care of them as kids… but this was different.

Something was wrong, and he wasn't sure if it was Draxum's plan or Purple's behavior.

Whenever Draxum would ask Purple to take care of stuff in the back, he'd get grumpy. He'd do his job, better than everyone else Red has ever met in his life, but he'd still be bitter. Red had an idea why.

Today he was bitter too, except there was something else along it. He had made that face he'd do when working on his ninpo, creating "something useful", as he would say. Determined, perhaps. Red was worried. Whenever Purple tried something for the first time, there was a risk of failure. Red was not a fan of those risks. Not with how many times he almost hurt himself. So Red hoped his senses were wrong.

Meanwhile, Red was asked to assist Draxum. He would be by his side, in case any of his test subjects tried to run away or anything went wrong- just like how it did thirteen years ago. So Red had worn his armor as always, and quietly waited for orders.

As he watched Draxum work and control things Red never quite understood, he started thinking about his origin. The story about their creation always fascinated him, but not because of what Draxum had managed to create (as he would say with pride). No, what fascinated Red was the others. The man who gave them their DNA and the siblings he was never able to meet again. At least he had Purple, Draxum, Hummin and Mummin.

Still, he wondered if the slider, the loggerhead, and the box turtle were okay.

He wished to know more about them. Had they survived? Was the box turtle with Lou Jitsu? Were the slider and loggerhead what the big lady wanted them to be?

Would he ever see them again?

"Red," Draxum called the snapper.

"Yes, Draxum?"

"Come here."

Red did as Draxum asked, pushing away the thoughts regarding his lost family and focusing on what he had now.

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

Purple wished that for once that Draxum would take the risk and put him on the field. He knew that he was aware of Purple's strong ninpo and his genius brain, but Draxum refused to forget that one of his powerful mutant warriors had a flaw that almost cost his life twice.

A flaw that Purple hated passionately.

He knew well that Draxum had the knowledge of his softshell and his weak points, and honestly Purple was surprised that the yokai had chosen him as one of his warriors. Yet, one would expect that he'd have something in his mind for the battlefield if he chose him on purpose.

(The possibility of Draxum adding him into the mix just because of curiosity made Purple feel sick. It couldn't be true anyway. It was Draxum.)

So what if his laboratory once got demolished and he almost died? Who cares if when he and Red played roughly as tots he almost got hurt very very badly? He could protect himself now! He even had made himself a shell out of his ninpo to prove it!

Why had he had to stay back and control everything from outside of the main area?

The worst part was he knew that Red agreed with him, but his brother always would follow what Draxum said.

This wasn't fair at all.

…

Okay, so maybe he did follow Draxum's words too. But not like Red. Purple was different from him. It was just that he wanted Draxum to be happy and proud of him. So that nobody would ever forget him and get rid of him. Exactly what everyone would want.

But he could never prove himself from the back.

Which was why after today it would be different. At the moment of importance, he'd step in and prove he is much more capable than what Draxum thinks!

He looked through the windows. He was already almost finished with his job here, so all he had to do was to climb up to the higher levels and wait.

Perfect plan, Purple. He praised himself as he smiled. Perfect .

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"Come on Veeeeeen! I can't stay inside here anymore!"

Leon's was whining for a while now, half dramatic, half genuine, begging for his sister to take him to her simple mission. So far it was going well.

"Leon shut up, someone will hear you! Do you want us to get into trouble?" Venus glared at him.

"No, I thought I made my request oblivious." Leon said.

"You can't come with me, you know the rules." She reminded him, for a millionth time.

"But Mama doesn't have to know. It will be a simple trip. You get to do your shopping, I'll tag along and see some people, and we will be back before anyone knows." Leon knew he couldn't do much and risk it all, he guessed Venus would know too. So why not give him a chance?

Venus looked at him with softer eyes this time, "I know you're bored of Nexus Hotel and want something different, but you've been to Hidden City. Why don't you save your chance for something else?"

Leon looked away from her, instead focusing on a wall. A wall he had been seeing for the past fourteen years of his life and getting sick of it. Hidden City though? That was a rare feat. "It's been so long, Vee." He sighed. "I know Mama doesn't want any of us out without permission, but I think I'll go insane if I spend another day here."

She rolled her eyes, "You're exaggerating." Still, she came and sat by his side on the enormous bed. "But I can consider it…"

Leon's eyes immediately brightened up. "Thank you Ve-"

"...Only if you wear your guard costume too."

Ah. Of course. The itchy guard costume. "Can't I wear another disguise?" Leon whined.

"No." Venus answered, a sly smile on her face.

"You know, I had heard sea turtles are kind. Unlike you. Are you sure you're not mixing up your species?"

He met with a pillow on his face. "Either be ready when I come back or stay here. You got fifteen minutes."

"Okay okay, fine." Leon huffed. Then smirked, "Good to know you still know to not miss the right offers."

She grinned, "You keep forgetting who taught you first." She said as she left the room.

"Keep believing that!" Leon shouted after her, grinning as well.

As the door closed, he felt his grin get wider. It had been so long since he was able to get out of this building. He was sure Venus wouldn't mind having some extra fun in Hidden City, too.

••••••••

Somewhere far, far away, a teenage mutant girl smiled and laughed with her father. Unaware of the world, dangers, and fate that awaited her.

[whoredmode]

4 headcanons ask meme: I'm trying to remember who you didn't answer for last time 😅 but maybe Pierce?

Send a character’s name to receive four different headcanons

sorry for the wait on this! finally getting around to it now. pierce my best friend pierce.

Headcanon A: this is one i forget isn’t already canon, but i think he’s a former vice kings member. i think pierce has always had musical aspirations, and growing up he’d heard all sorts of stories about ben king and seriously looked up to him (he still does!), so he wanted to get closer to ben and kingdom come records. sadly i don’t think he ever got a chance to really speak to ben king personally. he had a whole pitch and demo ready and everything. thankfully when ben comes back in my sriv rewrite, they get a proper meeting. pierce still mourns the fact that he was never a kingdom come artist, though.

Headcanon B: he freaked out a lil when he realized aisha was alive. he tried to play it cool when johnny and anteros took him over to the house but he just couldn’t. he loves aisha so much, had all her albums and merch. he made anteros take a picture of him with her. in the photo pierce is all excited while aisha smiles but looks vaguely concerned. she has no idea who this man is.

Headcanon C: i think pierce comes from a pretty rich family, and i think his attempts at getting people’s attention and recognition for his work (aside from simply just being warranted most of the time) does stem from him being an only child with busy, unavailable parents who just expected him to excel. he wants to be recognized as himself because he is intelligent and creative and tactical and he does great things, but after a certain point it becomes clear that a lot of people do not respect him. especially when he really does become a celebrity; suddenly people want him but it’s because he’s a fucking brand. pierce deals with a lot of sadness by spending lots of money (whether on material goods or big expensive parties) but they always just leave him feeling just as empty as before.

Headcanon D: i swear i cheat for all of these ones and just say my rewrites because it’s quite literally me disregarding so much of canon LMAO. but like. while i agree that pierce would be on the same page as anteros and more likely to agree to things like brand deals (as opposed to johnny and shaundi who are more critical to the idea despite going along with it in the end), i cannot for the life of me ever see pierce or any of them ever agreeing to doing those corny ass movies. they have some self-respect! even he and anteros, despite falling so deeply into their own brand, would have enough self-awareness to say that idea would be bad. so there’s absolutely no saints movies in my canon (aside from the aisha biopic, but that’s a whole other story). this ended up being more of a general saints headcanon, but pierce is often framed in the games as the one in charge of this sort of stuff, and i just can’t see him thinking a shitty movie would be a good idea.