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#<- new tag! tho i'm going back and adding it to everything
wokeupwiththissong · 3 months
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maochira · 1 year
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What about kinda like the last request noa, chris, and lavinho as fathers find out reader has been dating kaiser for like a couple months
Okay so funny story I recently wrote my own thing for Noa and my Blue Lock OC in a similar situation. But writing this for Chris and Lavinho as well is gonna be fun. Also I'm adding this to the father figure!series
The other headcanons for context: right here
Series masterlist
Requests are open!
Tags: gn!reader, overprotective dad behaviour, reader is a soccer player but has an assistant role to the coaches in Blue Lock, literally everyone is concerned about you dating Kaiser (as they should), also if you're new to this series they're not actually reader's fathers but take a role as father figure in reader's life
Noel Noa
-he's known Kaiser for quite a while, and so did you, since all of you play for Bastard München. Just in different teams
-he's seen you hang out with Kaiser occasionally back in Germany, but ever since you went to Blue Lock, he's seen you around Kaiser more often. But he didn't think more into it
-and after a couple of months Noa. He. He sees you and Kaiser kissing and. Oh, well.
-he tries to keep calm, but inside of him there's so many emotions at once
-he calmly pulls you aside and asks if Kaiser is your boyfriend. When your answer is yes, well. Let's say Noa is not amazed.
-he starts asking questions about how long you've been dating, how far you've gone in the relationship (in terms of kissing, etc.), who knows about it, but most importantly: Noa wants to know why you didn't tell him
-so many thoughts about reasons why you should NOT be dating Kaiser run through his head, but he manages to not say any of them towards you. He doesn't want to make you feel insecure about your relationship, and he doesn't want you to feel like he's not supporting you either
-but he would definitely keep a really close eye on Kaiser and ask you if everything is going well between you and Kaiser at least once a day
-at some point, he admits that he's not really a fan of Kaiser being your boyfriend, and you keep reassuring Noa that your boyfriend treats you well
-eventually, Noa finds peace with the thought of you being in a relationship with Kaiser, especially after seeing how happy you are with him
Chris Prince
-even though you were Chris' assistant, occasionally you would be asked to assist at Bastard München's soccer practice as well. And that's basically how you and Kaiser got to know each other and how you started dating
-you kept your relationship a secret from everyone, tho. Even from Chris
-but when he does find out he's a bit unsure how well that could go, but he very much encourages you to continue the relationship if it makes you happy
-despite his concerns, he supports you because he loves seeing you happy like this. Also he thinks it's very cute how giggly you get when you talk about Kaiser
-at first, he was slightly upset that you kept your relationship a secret from him, although, looking back he realizes he should have noticed it sooner because especially to him it should have been pretty obvious
-whenever he meets Kaiser, Chris would occasionally stare at him with an expression that just screams "Break their heart and you're dead."
Lavinho
-like in the Chris headcanons, you assist at Bastard München's practices sometimes and that's how you and Kaiser got close
-when Lavinho finds out about your relationship, he'd be concerned as well but he'd also get a bit emotional, knowing you've found love
-but you're literally dating Michael Kaiser how can he not be concerned
-he trusts you, and he knows if anything bad happened you would talk to him about it, so in the long run he's not that concerned about your relationship
-tries giving you relationship advice but like, you never asked for it so usually, your answer is just "uhhh I know"
-once he gets comfortable with knowing you and Kaiser are dating, he starts teasing you about it. A LOT.
-but he's also still so overprotective about you, a part of him can't really handle knowing you're so deeply in love with someone
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bella-rose29 · 8 months
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Not Your Lover - Chapter 6
This is the slightly safer version (it's still kinda spicy tho) <3
I have also written a more explicit version of this chapter for anybody who is over the age of 18 which can be found here, so please don't read that one if you're younger or even just uncomfortable with that. hopefully this one is more accessible to everyone! (please let me know if it's still too much and I'll edit it)
(help I realised I don't actually know how to write sfw make out scenes)
Word count: 3.8k
Warnings: heavy making out, like heavy heavy, implied sex, swearing, mentions of the civil war from Nik's side, Davor is still a stalker
Tag list: @a-candle-maker, @bubybubsters, @el-de-phi, @hauntedethusiasttragedy, @iambored24601, @itsyoboo-jassy, @karensirkobabes, @kentucky-criedfricken, @little8sun, @mrsklockwood, @mvidaaaa, @nalie-98, @naushtheaspiringauthor, @notoakay, @pietromaximoffsbabe, @simbaaas-stuff
As always, let me know here if you would like to be added or removed from my Nikolai tag list! <3
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Y/n and Nikolai had settled into a routine within the first two days of staying in the same room, and he was starting to blur the lines in his head of what was real and what was fake.
It was dangerous, walking this line, especially since one wrong move could ruin everything that the two of them had built, but Nikolai knew that he was extremely close to throwing himself fully past reality. They had kept the pillow wall the first night, but when they had woken in roughly the same position as they had the first time that they shared a bed it made sense to forgo the divider completely. Neither of them appeared to be acknowledging it while asleep, and it saved some effort in the evening when they were getting ready for bed.
Work on the building had continued in much the same way as before, although Nikolai noticed that there was a little more tension in the air than usual. None of this was helped by the fact that he couldn't let his demon out at night anymore, and had resorted to staying late at the mansion after Y/n had headed back to the hotel room so that it stopped giving him a headache. Davor was still watching the two of them, following Nikolai around when he tried to go on a late night walk to take his demon fishing, and it was starting to get annoying. He had half a mind to confront the man, but somehow whenever Nikolai actually wanted to see Davor, he wasn't anywhere to be found. Y/n had mentioned that he was doing the same to her, but she didn't seem nearly as bothered about it.
Currently they were working on the floorboards of the first room, having pulled up the old ones and throwing them out, and Nikolai couldn't help but stare at Y/n every now and then as she worked. His demon snickered at him in his head, and Nikolai muttered a quiet "shut up" under his breath.
"Sorry? Did you say something?"
"Huh? No, nothing."
"Oh. Never mind."
They worked in silence again after that, the only sounds being the new floorboards being put down.
By the time sunset came around a few hours later, they'd managed to lay the whole floor, and Nikolai had replaced the windows, letting in the evening sun. He wiped his brow, wishing more than anything that he could take off some layers (but that would mean showing his scars for longer than a few seconds, and he didn't feel like having that conversation with Y/n yet. She'd probably also stab him or something).
"You alright? You look pretty sweaty."
"Yeah, I'm alright. Hopefully this heatwave brings in tourists," he replied, turning to look at her. That was a mistake, apparently, since he couldn't do anything but think about how gorgeous she looked in the golden light streaming in and lighting up her skin, making her look ethereal.
He was so screwed, and he knew that there wasn't any coming back now. He'd very nearly kissed her the other night, when she'd come in crying about her mother and he'd wiped away her tears, but the demon just had to pick that moment to make a noise. Nikolai had scolded it the whole way back to the hotel, and it had the good grace to at least seem sorry for getting in the way.
It had been a little awkward since, neither of them saying anything about the fact that they had very nearly kissed purely because they felt like it, and the tension was starting to kill Nikolai. They kept waking up tangled in each other too, and although he knew he shouldn't, he held on to her a little longer in the mornings, and his touch lingered a moment more when he passed her things. Whether she'd noticed, he had no idea, but at least she hadn't told him to stop being weird yet.
~~~
Nik was being weird.
He kept staring at Y/n, for one, and every now and then he would hold on to her for longer than fake boyfriends probably should. He was staring now, in fact, although why she had no idea. She was covered in dirt and sweat from working all day, both in the bakery and in the mansion, and she definitely needed a bath. Maybe he was staring at her because of that? Yeah, that made more sense. Although when she looked at him (not that she was sneaking glances or anything), she couldn't deny how gorgeous he looked in the light, the sunset making his golden hair glow.
He kept talking to himself too, and Y/n was starting to worry that he was going mad. She'd talked to Gregor about it that morning, and apparently Nik was doing it while he worked in the workshop. Gregor also looked like he knew something else, but despite Y/n's best efforts she couldn't get it out of him. The man was notoriously good at keeping secrets, but if it was about Nik then she wanted to know.
"I'm sure he'll tell you in his own time, Y/n/n," was all he had said, and Y/n had huffed and left not long after.
She snapped herself out of her thoughts, blush rising when she realised that she'd zoned out looking at him, and turned back to the wall that she was painting. They'd done good work today; Nik had managed to get the new windows in with the help of her father, and the three of them had finished off the floor. Y/n had picked out the paint a while ago, and had made a start on covering the walls.
"You know," she started, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Nik turn to face her. "I think we can do this. How long have we got left now, eight days?"
"Yeah, I think so. There's still the two other rooms to do though. I know they're both clear but it's going to be a stretch to get them done on top of this one. It's taken us this long to get this room nearly ready."
"What happened to mister 'we can do it!', huh? I've got a plan, don't worry."
"Is your plan hiring the entirety of Taya? Because I might be an optimist but this is bordering on impossible."
"I thought that nothing was impossible, only improbable," she quipped, mocking his voice.
"Was that... was that meant to be me?"
"I thought it was an excellent impression. Did you have a problem with it? I mean, personally I thought there were two of you for a moment."
Nik laughed, shaking his head. "You're ridiculous," he said, looking at her fondly. Y/n smiled lightly back at him, and they got lost in each others' gazes. Nik suddenly snapped out of it, whipping his head back to the curtain pole he was adjusting. Y/n moved her own attention back to the wall, feeling her face heat up.
Shit.
~~~
An hour or so later, the sun had fully set, and Nikolai had had to turn the chandelier on in the room so that he and Y/n could continue to work. The demon had, for once, helped Nikolai out, since its laughing at Nikolai and Y/n gazing at each other made him realise what he was doing. He'd quickly gone back to what he was doing, and a moment later he heard the brush of the paint on the wall.
Now they were in separate rooms, and Nikolai had looked to check that the demon wouldn't be seen before letting it out.
"No noise, alright? The second you make a noise you're back in, understood?" The demon had nodded and padded off into a corner of the room, starting to use its tail as a brush, collecting the remaining rubbish on the floor. Nikolai felt proud of it once more, seeing it trying to help, and hoped that it had learned something valuable from working hard. Saints, he sounded like the demon's teacher. Nikolai frowned, shuffling furniture around the room. He supposed he was in a way, teaching it how to be nicer. Maybe he'd be able to let it out more if he knew it would behave. He was glad for the distraction of the demon, since it stopped him from thinking too hard about Y/n, and having to keep half an eye on the little bastard was rather entertaining at times. It was a little like having a child, except the child was quite literally a demonic entity of darkness and destruction that enjoyed ripping people's faces off and generally making their lives complete and utter misery. Nikolai suddenly wondered if that was how Baghra had felt about the Darkling, and shuddered at the thought of baby Aleksander. The demon noticed, growling lowly at its creator, and Nikolai called it over softly, careful not to alert Y/n.
"Come here, that's it, there we go," he whispered, settling on the floor as his demon came and rested its head on his lap. It was strange, doing this, but he could sense that his demon was disturbed by Nikolai's thoughts of the Darkling. While the man had been responsible for the separation between Nikolai and his demon, the latter now shared the resentment that Nikolai harboured. No doubt it was remembering the battle with Fjerda too, and the multiple brushes with death. Since then they had only become closer, reaching an agreement that they would die for each other if needed.
"Nik? You alright in there?" Both Nikolai and his demon turned to look at the doorway where Y/n's voice had come from, and they glanced at each other before the demon crept off into the shadows.
"Yep, I'm alright." He pushed himself off of the floor just as Y/n walked in, paint on her trousers.
"I think I'm gonna head out now, I've done what I can on the walls. You coming?"
"Yeah, sure. Let me just grab my things," he smiled, and she returned it, heading back into the front room. He took the demon back in, telling it to stop fussing and hurry up, and followed her out, collecting his jacket from where he'd slung it over one of the armchairs.
~~~
They made it back to the hotel no problem, although Y/n could have sworn that she saw Davor following them when they went round a corner, and when they were up in Nik's room he pulled out a bottle of kvas and two glasses.
"Drink?"
"Sure."
Davor following them wasn't too disturbing for Y/n, given he was a deeply untrusting person and was probably trying to expose Nik and Y/n's relationship for what it was, but Nik seem more concerned. He brought it up as he poured, passing one glass to Y/n and taking his own over to the sofa in front of the fireplace. Despite the heatwave, the hotel room was somehow freezing (Y/n had no idea how the owners managed it), so they'd lit a fire.
"You really aren't worried about him stalking us?"
"No, not really. Why are you so worked up about it?"
"Um... because it's stalking? It's quite literally illegal. Also, what happens if he finds out none of this is real?"
Her heart hurt at his words, but she quickly dismissed it as nothing. "Nobody will believe him if he says anything, because they like us a whole lot more. Everybody knows he likes stirring up trouble for no good reason, and I've got a reputation, hell, you have a reputation now. We'll be fine." She sipped her kvas, grateful for the burn as it went down. It stopped her thinking too hard about Nik.
"If you're sure," he frowned, and Y/n wanted to smooth the lines on his face with her fingertips. He settled into the sofa next to her having finished fiddling with the fire, and it was cramped enough that his thigh brushed against hers. She pulled her legs up, turning so that her back was resting against the arm and she was facing him. Nik angled his body slightly so that he was looking towards her, shifting in his seat in a way that had Y/n hiding behind her glass and trying desperately to not think too hard about his lap. "You alright?" he asked, amusement in his eyes and a smirk on his face, and Saints damn it she was blushing and he fucking knew it.
"Yeah, I'm alright." He hummed, and Y/n felt her cheeks grow even warmer. "What? I am!"
"Okay! You just look a little... flushed," he responded, and she could hear the laughter in his voice, making her glare at him. "There it is! I've missed that glare," he joked, only succeeding in deepening her frown.
"Fuck off," she muttered as she sipped her kvas, and he laughed, loud and bellowing. Saints, she wanted to make him laugh more often.
Sleeping next to Nik tonight would be difficult, she decided as she watched him.
~~~
A few hours and half a bottle of kvas later, Nik and Y/n had loosened up significantly, and were spilling secrets that she would never dare to tell him were she sober.
He'd confessed that he was absolutely terrified of spiders, having been nicknamed 'Nikolai the spider squealer' by his childhood best friend, and was considered a general menace to society as a small boy.
"Oh yeah, I find that so difficult to believe," Y/n giggled sarcastically, and Nik's responding pout only made her laugh harder.
"What is that supposed to mean? I am an absolute delight to have around!" He put on a look of offence, and Y/n nearly spilled her drink when she held her sides from laughing. "Seriously!" He was laughing now, spluttering as he spoke and unable to get words out properly. A few minutes later when they'd calmed down enough (it took a while since whenever they looked at each other they burst out laughing again), he spoke up again. "Go on, your turn. I think it's been my turn the last three times," he frowned, trying to count in his head. Y/n thought for a moment, before coming up with something.
"Saints, I don't know why I'm even gonna tell you this," she laughed, pressing her hand to her forehead. "Okay. So, basically, I've never... I have never... you know." She waved her hand in the general direction of her lower half. Nik's eyes went wide.
"Wait. You've never had an orgasm?"
"No, I haven't!"
"No wonder you're so fucking grumpy all the time, Saints!"
"Oi! It's not exactly my fault! Davor never could and neither can I, I gave up trying to get myself off like six months ago."
"Bet I could," Nik said, sipping his drink.
"...What?"
"I said I bet I could."
They looked at each other, Nik studying her over his glass and Y/n feeling increasingly flustered at the direction their conversation had taken.
"Prove it."
He said nothing, still just looking her, and she was starting to regret her words. "Sorry. Stupid idea. Forget it." She turned her face away, staring into the fire. He was yet to say anything, and the atmosphere turned awkward.
"Are you?" he said, and Saints, why was his voice so low? "Are you sorry?"
"No," she whispered, and she was hyper-aware of the sound of his glass clinking against the side table as he set it down. She turned to look at him, breath leaving her body at the sight of him closer than before, eyes filled with something dangerous. She put her own glass down, nearly spilling it since she hadn't taken her eyes off of Nik. "Why?"
"Because I want to prove it."
Something snapped then, and Y/n surged forward to grab at his shirt with her hands and pull him in for a kiss. He didn't seem to know what to do with himself for a moment, but after barely a second he was responding, wrapping his arms around her waist as he pulled her into his lap, moaning softly, and Saints she wanted him to do it all over again. Her hands moved up to play with his hair the way that she'd wanted to since their first kiss in the square all those days ago, tangling in the locks and tugging every now and then as his hands grasped her hips. She wasn't sure how long they were there for, exploring each other with their hands and tongues, but every second of it was just as good as she'd imagined. He'd moved her hair out of the way to kiss down her neck, alternating between soft kisses and gently biting the skin, drawing sounds out of her that Davor never could. "Nik," she whispered into his hair, not missing the way his grip tightened on her hips at the sound of his name. He slowly dragged his head back up, kissing as he went, before he pressed another to her mouth.
"Yeah?" His pupils were blown, the blue of his eyes nearly non-existent, and his lips were slightly swollen from kissing her.
"You gonna prove it or not?" she breathed, and he could only stare at her for a moment before nodding, and then she felt his hands at the top of her trousers, pulling up the fabric of her shirt. He hadn't taken his eyes off of her, silently asking if this was still alright, and they only broke eye contact when her shirt slipped over her head, landing on the floor a second later. He pulled her back in, kisses a little more gentle than before, and Y/n went to take Nik's shirt off. He hesitated slightly, and she paused, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. "This okay? You don't have to, if it's... I just... wanted to feel you, I guess." She blushed at the admission, and he smiled softly at her.
"It's okay, darling," and Saints she'd forgotten how her stomach dipped at the pet name. "I've just... got a lot of scars," he whispered, and Y/n immediately went to reassure him.
"That's okay. You're helping me out, not talking about your scars. but equally if you wanna do that then I'll listen," she said, pressing a kiss to his forehead, and she practically felt him melt under her. He moved back a little, giving himself room to take his clothes off. Nik paused for a moment, looking at his gloves, then made a decision and yanked them off, chucking them on to the side table next to his discarded drink. He glanced back up at her, waiting for her reaction as he settled his hands lightly on top of her thighs. Y/n could only stare at them, reaching out to hold one with her own hand but not quite touching. Most of the veins were black, and his fingers were the same, and as Y/n finally took hold of his hand, lacing their fingers together and turning his arm in her grip she noticed that the black veins continued partway up his forearms. "What..." She didn't finish, not sure where to go from there. Nik was transfixed by their interlocked hands, and his thumb was stroking hers.
"The Darkling," was his only response, and Y/n didn't know what to do other than press a gentle kiss to his mouth, cupping his face with her free hand. She pulled away, resting her forehead against his, and her hand moved down to rest over his heart.
"Does it hurt?"
"No. Not anymore."
She kissed him again, slow and careful, still holding his hand in hers.
"Do you wanna carry on?"
"Yes," he said into her mouth, hands sliding up higher on her thighs, pulling her closer to him, and Saints, he wasn't lying. She moved her hands to his shirt, tugging at the hem and lifting the fabric all the way off. Her fingers traced the lines of his chest, spending extra time on the scars and marks she found, and Nik's hands came up to rest on her back, pulling her flush against him. They kissed again, this time with more hunger, and in a sudden movement Nik had flipped them so that Y/n was lying on the sofa, legs half dangling off the edge as he situated himself between them, never taking his lips off of hers. Eventually he moved further down, and she lost all sense of time as Nik touched her, drawing out new sounds with every movement right up until he took her into paradise.
~~~
He moved back up her body a while after, having left soft kisses behind as she came down from the high, and when she brought his face down to kiss her it was soft and more loving than it should have been given they weren't actually together.
"You alright?" he asked, nose nudging against her cheek. She could only nod, wiped out. She could feel him smiling, the cheeky fucker, and she half-heartedly slapped his arm, trying to not think too hard about how toned it was. "What?" he smiled, pulling back to look at her.
"Nothing, just, you're a lot more... I don't know," she trailed off, blushing at his stare. "You have very nice arms," she decided on, and Nik's immediate laughter made her flush even more. "Shut up," she mumbled, turning her face to hide in the back of the sofa. She felt Nik's hand cup her chin, bringing her face back towards his as he planted a kiss on her lips, lingering for a while.
"Thank you," he whispered, amused smile still present. "You have very nice tits, if that helps."
"Nik!"
~~~
Nikolai had no idea where the two of them went from here, but he wouldn't take back a single second of it.
He'd helped clean Y/n up, and then had helped her move to the bed, passing her one of his clean shirts to sleep in. He went without the gloves as he got into bed next to her, leaving them sat on the table in front of the fire. He was just pulling his boots off when he felt Y/n's fingers on his back, tracing over the scars from the demon's wings. Her hands flattened on his back, then moved around his torso and under his arms as she pushed herself against him, pulling his head to hers to kiss him. The angle was awkward, so Nikolai shook his boots off and turned around, cupping her cheek to deepen the kiss. He clambered in next to her, breaking away, and pulled the sheets up over them. At Y/n's pout he simply chuckled, and brought her down to lie next to him, and she slung her arm over his chest and her leg over his, falling asleep not long after.
Nikolai stayed awake a while longer, thinking over everything that had happened. He really didn't know where they went from here, but no matter what, he needed to tell her the truth before they got too far in.
Chapter 7
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hhoneyglasss · 1 year
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coke zero
notes: hello ! it's been a bit, but here's my first take on lovely ! i've nvr written for them before, so pls be patient w me lolol. i'm also trying out third person perspective, since i think that's what ppl tend to prefer in terms of listener characters (plus i've nvr written it before). i actually kinda like it, so i'll def be writing it more.
also, i actually began writing this awhile ago (like two or three weeks now) before i knew abt vincent and lovely's new BA, so i added a different ending to this so it would go a bit better with it (said ending had me adding 700 words to this fic, but that's oki !) also, ig this would take place before said new audio, although i'm not sure it matters. figure i'd mention it anyways tho.
and no, i am not sponsored by coke zero !! i just thought it would be smth lovely would like (don't ask, bcuz idk either)
hope u enjoy !!!
pov: lovely — third person limited
pairings: lovely/vincent, lovely/coke zero (jkjk)
word count: 1.7k
ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46691254
!! TWs {these begin under the cut} !! slight angst, but nothing too severe. lovely gets a little emo in this one, basically.
reblogs r v much appreciated !! thank u !! <33
It’s a nice night tonight–the moon is round and full, a pale, milky glow overlaying everything in view. The stars seem to glitter even though they’re lightyears and lightyears away, almost as if they’re calling to Lovely, who's sitting on the railing of their balcony. 
Vincent’s out tonight–some business to attend to with William about a new property they’re buying. He asked if they wanted to tag along, but they declined, so a chaste kiss was left on their cheek before he hurried out the door, only the scent of peppermint and diesel left behind. 
A Coke Zero’s in their left hand, though they don’t know why. They didn’t even realize they were buying it until they felt the weight of an 8-pack in their hands, the store receipt crumpled in their back pocket. 
They can’t remember the last time they drank it, but they do know one thing–it doesn’t taste the same as it used to. 
Gone is the taste of humid summer nights and anxious all-nighters before an exam. Gone is the taste of embarrassment because they blew out yet another lightbulb. Gone is the taste of seawater underneath the warmth of the day’s sun. 
Each time they take a sip, it’s sweet, sour, then bitter, yet they keep drinking–and they know they’ll keep drinking until the entire bottle’s gone, until the entire pack is gone. They’ll keep going until nothing’s left but eight empty glass bottles and memories still so vivid they’re painful. 
How do you manage when you’re stuck between two worlds yet forever bound to one? You could say it’s funny, but Lovely thinks it’s sad–although there’s a part of them that can appreciate the humor and irony of it. 
How can one claim to still be human when their heart doesn’t even beat? How can they call themselves ‘human’ when their blood is forever frozen? How can they still feel human when they run so fast that death can’t even catch up? 
When they look around them and can see the smallest fibers of dust floating through the night air, they know they couldn’t before. When they pick up the scent of squirrels asleep in their nest half a mile away, they know any other human can’t. 
But isn’t this what they chose? Isn’t this what they wanted? 
It’s been over a year, yet they’ve still got one foot in the human door and a hand in the vampires’. They look in the mirror and see silver and red eyes staring back, yet they swear they can still feel the pulse of electricity in their veins. Their core is nothing but a solid sphere of marble, yet they can still feel their face heat up whenever Vincent kisses them. 
What’s the point of being able to run faster than wind if they can’t outrun this? They seem to have escaped everything else, outran everything else, but somehow the human part of them is able to stay up to speed? Why? 
These are the answers they’re searching for as they stare up at the moon, a celestial oculus penetrating the black of the night. They think about how this is the same moon they’ll see for the rest of eternity.
Eternity. The thought of being alive that long makes them laugh so hard some of the Coke Zero spills over the side of the bottle, and it slides down their hand. They laugh and laugh and laugh until it turns to tears, and the tears mix with the Coke Zero and the sound of it fizzing makes them wish they could go back to who they were before. 
They watch as it drips down their hand and onto the wood of the railing before it soaks into the cracks of the splinters, and it‘s gone. 
Earlier today, they had cut their palm on the edge of a paper they were cleaning from off the kitchen counter. One drop of blood had dripped before magic flowed to their hand, and the cut was gone. They felt the tears worsen when the expected burn of soda in a half-healed paper cut never came, and they tilt their head back. 
Isn’t it backwards to wish for the delicate vulnerability that comes with being human? They miss the cheap latex bandaids, the pain of isopropyl alcohol, the countless bruises that appeared on their skin even though they hadn’t a clue where they came from. They miss being reckless—they miss doing stupid shit and having to face the consequences of it. 
And maybe this was why they fell off that mountain. Maybe it wasn’t just an accident—maybe it was their attempt to feel that human fragility again that they took for granted. They got so close, too—until they fed and the wounds healed and not a scar was left in the wake. 
Maybe that’s why they gun it 80 down 45 mile an hour roads. Pedal pressed down to the ground as far as it will go, wheels squealing against the asphalt as they chase that mortal thrill of being careless and impulsive. Yet each time the crash is incoming, they catch themself, and the danger of it all disappears. The high remains out of reach, forever a forbidden finish line. 
It seems they’re too fast and too slow at the same time, how sad is that? A dichotomy that lives and breathes inside Lovely, someone who’s torn between two halves of themself. 
Will these feelings change? Will they ever not feel like a stain on the Solaire name? Will there be a time where they look in the mirror and see those silver eyes and come to accept them? Will they ever feel like themself again? 
Lovely takes another swig of Coke Zero and looks up at the sky. They can’t answer their own questions, so why should the stars be able to? All they do is twinkle millions of miles away–Lovely supposes they’re chasing their own questions too. 
They hear Vincent at the front door, but before they’re able to react, the whoosh of the balcony doors can be heard behind them. They turn to see him standing there, his hands still holding onto the knobs. He catches the reflection of the moonlight on their tear stained cheeks, and he’s holding them before they even had the chance to set down their bottle. 
He asks them what’s wrong, but they don’t answer. Sobs hold back their voice, and they stay quiet as they lean into him. He doesn’t press his questions, but instead continues holding them, his hands running up and down their back as they rest their head in the crook of his shoulder. 
The minutes continue to tick by until Lovely pulls away, the heel of their palm wiping away the new tears they had shed. They look up at him, a shy smile tugging at their features when they ask if they can go on a run together. Vincent nods, smiles back, and holds their hand anyway as he leads them down to the ground floor of the house. 
Before he can ask them where they’d like to go, they’ve broken into a sprint through the underbrush, and he’s quick to follow soon behind them. Their laughter up ahead fades into the sound of cracking twigs and crunching leaves, and he can’t help but to laugh too. The brambles catching and tugging into their jacket have yet to faze Lovely as they keep running, the wind warm on their face as it dries the rest of their tears. They don’t know where they’re going, but they don’t quite care either, so they just keep running until they find out. 
They finally see a break in the forest’s artillery of trees and they emerge through it, a welcomed burn pulsing through their legs and their breath heavy as they walk onto new ground. Vincent’s close behind them, and Lovely giggles as he combs the gumballs and twigs out of his hair. 
They turn away from him and look around. They’re at a cliff–or more specifically, a waterfall, as they can hear the sloshing and rushing of water to their right. The ground is soft and doughy beneath them, the marsh plush as they walk towards the edge of the cliff. They sit down on it, their legs dangling over the black, jagged rock as they gaze down at the pool of black water down below. They run their fingertips along the edges of the cliff’s precipice, the texture rough and gritty, but cool from the waterfall’s mist.
Lovely stands up again and begins to take off their shirt and shorts, to which Vincent chuckles and asks what they’re doing. They point down at the pool, a sly smirk pulling at the corners of their lips. Vincent sighs before pulling off his own shirt and pants, and he moves to stand beside them. 
Lovely grabs his hand and smiles at him, and he swears the sight coaxes the air out of his lungs. He’s breathless as he looks away, and Lovely counts down from three before they finally jump off, their hands still intertwined. 
On the way down, Lovely yells, a wondrous sound filled with so much joy it has Vincent yelling too. It turns into loud laughter as the intense rush of wind grows cooler and the water comes closer. They finally splash down and Lovely relishes in the feeling of water wrapping around their skin and Vincent’s hand still in theirs. 
When they finally reach the surface and their eyes meet his, they swear they’ve never felt more free. 
They both cliff dive for hours, jump after jump yet the excitement of it never fades away. The night passes before they finally shrug back on their clothes and sit on the cliff again, the black sky fading as the dawn begins. The sun still has yet to rise when Vincent hands Lovely a bottle of Coke Zero–they smile and let out a small chuckle. He’s got a bottle for himself too and he pops it open with his teeth before wrapping his arm around their shoulder. They lean into him, and a sigh leaves them as they take that first drink. They both sit there as they watch the sunrise, the only sounds that can be heard being the rushing of water beneath them and the swishing of Coke Zero in glass bottles.
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Vet visit
Short fic introducing a new character.
It was that time of the year again, Maria was taking her Corgi, Marshmallow to the vet. It was a little ways away, but so was everything else, so she didn't mind the kind of long drive there. Little Marshmallow was in a small kennel, waiting for what was to come.
Maria finally arrived to the vet's office, and was already wanting this over with. "I really hope this is quick" She stated, while taking Marshmallow inside, now outside of the kennel and wearing a collar.
After she gets inside and talks with the person in the front desk, she sat at the waiting room to be called. Marshmallow wasn't his normal cheerful self, but was sitting and shaking in Mari's lap. Like many pets, he didn't enjoy vet visits. "Don't worry, Marshmallow. It'll be over with soon." Mari said, trying to comfort the dog.
"Marshmallow?" A voice called out. Mari looked up, she saw who she assumed was the vet. She had blue hair, tied in a ponytail, while wearing the standard vet uniform. She looked towards Mari, noticing her looking up at the name. "We're ready for you" she said towards Maria and her Corgi.
Maria let Marshmallow back down on the floor, as the two followed behind the doctor towards the examination room. "If you could place the little cutie on the examination table, I'd appreciate that" the vet said, with a gentle smile on her face.
Mari did just that, tho Marshmallow started to panic yap as she did. "No no, Marshmallow! Try to relax!" She said.
"Oh don't worry baby, I'll be as gentle as a lamb" Catalina said to Marshmallow, with a noticeable southern accent.
When Mari placed Marshmallow on the table, she took notice of the accent and look up to the Vet, and got a better look. "Wait, I don't think I've met you before. Are you new?" Maria had asked her.
"Oh! So sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Doctor Catalina, but you can call me Cat." The Vet introduced herself to Mari. "And if this lil cutie's file is correct, you must be Maria." 
"Eeeeyup…" Mari responded. "Nice to meetcha, Cat." 
"And I am new, like you asked. Started two months ago. Always loved animals, grew up around a lot on mi papa's farm" She explained. "So it is a dream come true to help take so much care of them." 
Other then the introductions, the vet visits was business as usual for everyone involved. With Catalina checking up on Marshmallow's health, and Mari helping keep him calm when she had to. 
After it was over, Marshmallow had a clean bill of health. "He's a completely healthy boy! No diseases or injuries whatsoever." Cat told Mari as she petted the dog. "But I'm more then sure you take very good care of him, so I'm not surprised at all." She added
"Hehehe… thanks" Mari said, somewhat awkwardly. "Seeya next year then"
"Oh… we don't have to wait until his next check-up to see each other." She said, sounding a bit dejected. "I'd hate to go so long without see such a cutie, and I don't mean the dog this time"
Mari was very much shocked when she heard Catalina say that, blushing a deep red all the meanwhile. "Wh-what did you say???" She questioned the doctor.
"Oh, just the truth!" Cat said with a wink. "I'd love to meet up again some time, maybe for dinner?"
Mari was still blushing. "Well I'm not entirely sure about that." 
"...y'know if I'm pushing a bit too far, just tell me and I'll stop." Cat said, worrying she said something wrong.
"Er, don't worry. You're fine. Just slow it down a bit. It is nice to be called that." Mari responded back. "Hanging out is fine, just nothing too crazy like dinner for now." 
Cat lit up just a bit. "Ok then! Good to hear. Seeya then."
"Yeah, seeya" Mari said before rushing off.
Hope you guys liked the fic! Nice to finally write something after so long. Really hope I can be better with consistently writing fics again.
And here's art of Catalina in casual clothes!
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Tagging folks to see!
@hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @haskiaradoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @exmeowstic @chaldeamage-neo @pastellepastary @sofiaebby @hikikomuridesuuu @madillhethen
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dcviated · 1 year
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TAG NINE PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!
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favourite colour(s): Jeweltones? At least that's what my wife says they are. Deep vivid colors- typically blues, greens, and oranges. But we'll go with blue for this.
favourite genre(s): Of??? Fiction??? Or writing? Either way I think my best time is to be had with adventure and mystery, but tinting both with a comedic edge. Not marvel level but some lightheartedness to break things up here and there. Things that play out on a bigger scale. Whether it's geographical or emotional. Toss some fluff in there.
 favourite music: I've got a pic somewhere that makes fun of how varied my taste is. I dunno where I'd place it. Indie? Otakucore? The artist I've been savoring the most as of late is SIAMES. They're amazing. Just listen to this.
favourite movie: Have I waxed poetic about Everything Everywhere All At Once as of late? Because oh does that really get up there for me. Alongside Fury Road and Parasite. Consider it recency bias or something but those all are a jam for different reasons.
favourite series: For video games? Metroid and Rune Factory. Those explorathon and farm sim genres always scratch a good itch for me. I love upgrading powers and getting to open new doors man it's a problem. For anime? Gankutsuou. A fantastic rendition of the count of monte cristo. The visual style is amazing and I love the dub to boot. A series I go back to watch a lot. For TV? Idk. It's been so long since I watched current tv stuff. Better Call Saul sure was a trip.
 last song: I'm always shuffling through tracks like mad and listening to random things on youtube or spotify. To pin down an answer in a better way. The last song I added to my favs on spotify is this one.
last series: 🤔 I guess the last thing I 'wrapped up' watching was Bocchi. Which was definitely the best of the season.
last movie: Puss in Boots Last Wish. :^) I'd see that again to be honest. Totally out of left field how good it was. Had no right going that hard with style, substance, and character. Hope it wins best animated pic.
currently reading: I tried reading the Bullet Train book but couldn't really get into it as much. I dunno what it says about me that I found the movie a lot more entertaining and compelling. The complete book I read before that was the 7.5 deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle. And that was a couple years ago.
currently watching: A few things. F to the Nier anime, because that was really good. I'm really enjoying Tomo-chan is a Girl, Trigun Stampede, and the campfire isekai tho.
currently working on: Kinda scattered right now trying to set my gears. I was doing drafts on @cadcnce and now I might do some more here or hit things on the sideblog. We'll see. My wife's about to leave for work and then I'll settle in and decide... perhaps... after a nice long workout. :V
tagged by: @ofliminalities thanks!! still squinting at you tho tagging: @psychcdelica @orderbourne @prinzessins @eliteimperialism @paraleech @sparklymuses @squidsavior @pastballads @musesofthemoon how about that grabbed nine, or you can steal it! :V
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yoongsisbae · 1 year
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2022 End of the Year Recap
rules: post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!
thank you for tagging me lovelies @amethystwritesbts 💕 and @e-cm 💗
Top five works I’m most proud of
The Woman with the Black Cat on Her Shoulder: I needed to write it and I am so sad/happy/emotional so many readers resonated with it 💗
Handshakes of a Lifetime Chapter 9: I am proud I got through that chapter dealing with so many characters at the same time 😅 like once I realized...oh no there are actually fifteen different characters and even more relationships it felt like a clown car in my head, but somehow I made it through! And it was a good chapter, at least I like to think so 😊
Christmas with a Vampire: no one else seems to like it but I LOVE this story, okay! I love vampire Tae and Jin, I love the way the world is laid out in my head, I love cyber punk stories AND vampire stories. I love the moodtm (I was so obviously depressed when I wrote it lol cries), I love how in the future everyone* ahem human* is vegetarian 😋 I love it all! Perhaps because I can see a bigger story and it's living rent free in my head lol but I'm proud I got it out and finally finished my x-mas series, very proud I finished something for once lol cries again
Day Dream: omg making sure all the threads of the story were 'woven' together correctly and made sense to readers and not just me lol, also the story itself referenced a lot of shit...life and dreams and some of my fav fics as well 😃 it was really fun to write and I'm proud how it all came together in a beautiful tapestry...of insanity 😂
BTS as Kisses: I love poetry and I should write more of it...and I'm planning to! Proud it was well received. I live for the "cute" comments 😆
Top four WIPS I’m excited for
Bon Voyage, I just love that world 🥺 and I'm excited to make readers a n g r y 😅😅 (don't blame me tho! blame Tae!)
The Snap, I wanted to read a marvel-bts crossover foreverrrr, so just gonna have to write myself one instead. I'm excited 😝
Run Run Run, because I always have fun writing it and I need some laughter in my life....cries 🙃
And HOAL, yes it's still happening, I have not forgotten about it! I appreciate your comments still, like @illnevertrustmyselfagain yes to everything you said, you "get" it 🥺, @myspi2010 too, I ask myself the same things when writing lol, my readers are the smartest and I love it 🥺😭
Top three improvements in my writing
I feel like I have gotten better in some aspects and worse in others lol. Pacing and endings are the things I want to improve on. It was fun messing with both in my story Day Dream, even added an alternate ending 😉
As I was rereading HOAL and BV:ITS I noticed my sentences are more punchy and concise, now my flow portrays that better even if I get more descriptive. I can't decide if that makes a better reading experience or not, but sometimes I do want to go back and rewrite the first chapters of those stories, so perhaps that is considered improvement? lol idk!
THIS IS HARD. um I definitely can say I never could have written stories like The Woman with the Black Cat on Her Shoulder and You Asked for Help, He Asked Your Name when I first started, there's so much to those stories that is even hard for me to explain properly, my readers do a better job at it for me 😅 I think their reviews/comments make the stories so much better, so thank you dear readers for helping me to improve myself 💕
Two resolutions for my writing/this blog for ‘23
Somehow get onto one of those author collaboration event story things...wanted to be a part of one since I first opened this blog 🥺...even though I am too scared to ask and am not part of any community, I still believe somehow it will happen 😅 lol
find a way to write all the stories I want and not die of exhaustion in the process cries...writing gods please come visit me in 2023 🙏🏽
Favorite line I’ve written this year
This was so hard to choose! I think probably this line from my Fairy AU You Asked for Help, He Asked Your Name because it feels like energy is transferring into my bones every time I read it, "You gripped it tighter, it was real, it was your freedom in the palm of your hand. It made you cry, made you angry, made you happy, made you stand up." But also there is a really good line in The Flower Bridge that came in close second...should I share it? Is that cheating? 😅 think readers should find it for themselves maybe? 😋
Tagging: @daydreamer-writing @justanotherstarlightmonger @trifoliumrex @jimilter @aris-ink @park-jimin-isnt-real @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @bangtangalicious @smasmashie and whoever hasn't done it yet, 2022 is not yet over!
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2 30 39 40
2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?
I was hoping someone would ask this!! My top five are Poetry, Other Additional Tags To Be Added, Canon-Typical Violence, Dimension Travel, and Time Travel. I do think they reflect my writing habits with the exception of the first one. All the poetry stuff on my ao3 is from years ago and I am mildly embarrassed to keep it on there, but I also don't want to delete or orphan it lol.
30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?
It depends on what we mean by 'out of my comfort zone' hfskd. Because I can think of two particular wips I am working on that could turn out to be the best piece of writing i've ever done and probably still wouldn't see the light of day because i am. somewhat embarrassed about them. But if we mean trope/style/narration i've never done, then probably the unreliable narration in remember me when i am gone. So far it's gone swimmingly, and I've had a lot of fun with it. As for affecting how i write, i'm not sure that it did. It could have made me more likely to choose unreliable narration tho, because Acid also has a bit of that to it.
39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?
Hmm let's see. I read a lot of specific authors' works, so my style is probably a mishmash of those. But my writing process is a mystery even to me shfhsdkf I was just saying the other day that i try to write chronologically and then promptly proved myself wrong because i. had to write out an upcoming scene. just had to. it refused to stay in my brain until we got there naturally. so my writing process is whatever feels best for the fic lmao
40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?
Ohohoho, I hoard fics that i love. it's a wonder i have the time to find new fics to read when i'm always rereading old ones. whenever i get back into a fandom, i scroll thru my own bookmarks for it and reread everything. I cannot fathom reading a good fic once and then going 'awesome! time to never experience that again'. gfkjdsh
thank u thank u <3333
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mchiti · 9 months
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hi hala!! how are u today? when i saw Ziyech's new instagram post, I immediately thought of a song.
''Kahverengi Gözlerin by Muazzez Ersoy''
''Your most beautiful place is your brown eyes (Senin en güzel yerin, kahverengi gözlerin)''
''Your eyes my love, your eyes '' (gözlerin yar, gözlerin)
He has the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen. Did you see Sofyan Amrabat news about Gala? At this point looks like We can take everyone, no wonder now vallah. Always BIG names going around.
I am waiting for the products that Gala will release on behalf of Ziyech as soon as possible.
Hi my friend, I'm very good thank you! How are you? ♡♡♡
OH went to hear the song and I LOVE it!!! Turkish classical music is amazing and it hits close to home...a familiar sound ♡ Senin en güzel yerin, kahverengi gözlerin gjfhdg i love it. gözlerin is eyes then! I will use it as a tag next to l3winat (darija) when I wanna tag his eyes hfd. Yeah they're pretty aren't they. He's a lucky man with that pretty eye shape he has, they are truly truly lovely, it's the shape on top of everything for me. eyes are my favourite thing in people.
YESS have you seen what nordin amrabat said???? he confirmed there are contacts! Apparently he also added he hopes for it flkdjhs well nordin has great memories about gala. I really don't understand why european clubs are not going strongly for sofyan. He deserved so much more attention from clubs honestly. So many mediocre people getting paid extra wages and crazy transfer fee and he's still at fiorentina? He's not even in fiorentina's squad anymore. I know napoli, juve, and of course manchester united are on him but nothing really feels concrete and the window is closing. I think gala fans would got nuts over him as he's exactly someone the club need. For me personally it would be a dream kfjdhsga him and hakim together machallah. And he gets some love there. imagine if and ramos both comes...what a dream team.
Do you think Hakim will play next weekend? I heard turkish fans recommending moroccans not to get mad if that does not happen jghfds we're just as excited as them to see him back. We miss him strongly. I'm sooo impatient but I understand he has a specific training routine and needs more time. I wish we knew his new number tho, I WANT TO KNOW!!! Can't wait for his first match but I'll be here until then ♡ Ready for tuesday!!!
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gargoyles42 · 6 years
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halinski · 2 years
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I posted 10.433 times in 2021
497 posts created (5%)
9936 posts reblogged (95%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 20.0 posts.
I added 1.033 tags in 2021
#911 spoilers - 282 posts
#ignore me - 202 posts
#911onfox - 104 posts
#evan buckley - 90 posts
#911 s4 - 79 posts
#buddie - 73 posts
#buck - 63 posts
#911 s4 spoilers - 60 posts
#sterek - 45 posts
#eddie diaz - 35 posts
Longest Tag: 136 characters
#okay so obviously my boss asking me all like: do you think your parents going through genocide impacted you in any way? - totally trigge
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Okay but I need to get this off my chest
It's been confirmed since last season by Maddie that Buck is "very good at seeming fine" or better than he is. We have lots of proof of that on screen. We have Buck saying to a therapist that he hides his true emotions. We have many, many indicators on screen of Buck being neurodivergent, with low self esteem, being very perceptive, and putting everything into being what other people need.
If we go with that, with possible ADHD, or C-PTSD (which is trauma caused by prolonged traumatic events like neglectful/abusive parenting) - I feel like I should make a list of all the symptoms and signs that coincide with Buck - but point is, lots of neurodivergent people but especially those tend to do a thing called "masking"
It's exactly what it sounds like, aka they put on a mask around people to try and act how people expect them to. This act is perfected throughout the years and is very flexible. It's constant awareness of the situation, picking up on the smallest changes in the people around you and adjusting yourself to a "this is how I should be acting" setting, or "this is what this person/situation expects or alternatively needs right now".
Often times, you tend to lose your own self in there, you push aside all your own feelings and needs - which is what Buck admitted to his therapist. We also know he always feels like he needs to put on thee firefighter "costume" to feel worthy.
So basically, Buck puts up an act to be the best person he can, according to what the people around him need. I'm not saying it's not part of his personality to want to help people, because it is. But the problem is that it's to a fault. He will go extreme lengths no matter what his own feelings or needs say.
I mean, with Eddie it's a healthy thing bc man Eddie gives back. But again, Buck saw what Eddie needed and constantly immediately took initiative. He helped get Carla into his life, made sure Bobby knew about Chris and helped out there, he became a whole second parent to Chris bc he saw these two people needed it. They are two people who surprisingly returned the sentiment.
Which surprises Buck. Even after what 3 years(?) Buck still has to hear from Eddie explicitly that he's not expendable.
Buck believes he is, because he thinks he's just doing what he should be doing. It doesn't matter how he feels, this is what he does. It wouldn't change his behavior if Eddie did think he was expendable. (tho it would damage him further)
My point is, Buck is very good at acting. He is mentally very strong and resilient because he knows how to put his own self aside and be what people need him to be. (That unfortunately reinforces his idea that it's not him that's worthy, it's just his actions, which anyone can do, since of course Buck is just emulating what he thinks someone should be doing).
And in my opinion, we see Buck backsliding a bit since his parents popped up - which is practically inevitable, even without the whole new life changing revelation about his brother, which made things worth because his whole existence now was excuse as Buck just being there "for parts". It reinforces the idea in his head that he's just there to be useful to people, to be what they need, regardless of himself. And that's probably not a conscious thought 99% of the time.
I also haven't seen anyone mentioning Buck mentioning the therapist this season which would fit my backsliding theory, just based on myself who also grew up thinking I'm not allowed therapy bc I can convince everyone and especially myself "I'm fine", so he probably convinced himself he doesn't need it. Or it was too hard to keep fighting to recover, for now he just has to get through things, and that means resorting to old behaviors and habits.
It's how he copes and survives. Being what others need. Especially so he doesn't end up alone and unloved, because he definitely feels unloved. And he's desperate to prove the opposite, that he's worth something.
So what I'm saying is, Buck is very, very good at acting and being what other people need, while neglecting himself, and putting up a very convincing show of "this is me" and that's what BT is :)
143 notes • Posted 2021-12-01 07:42:06 GMT
#4
This was why Eddie was so appalled when Buck said he doesn't trust anyone anymore
He was like "excuse u bitch I made you my son's legal guardian and u don't trust me???" Except he couldn't really say that out loud in front of the whole crew at breakfast at the grant-nash house, could he?
139 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 06:20:23 GMT
#3
it's goddamn Sterek day
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235 notes • Posted 2021-06-05 22:06:55 GMT
#2
Dear sterek fam,
This summer we celebrate a decade of sterek can you believe???????
10 YEARS SINCE THE BIRTH OF STEREK
10 YEARS OF STEREK GOODNESS
10 YEARS AND WE STILL HERE
Only 10 years into our eternity
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#Eternalsterek
317 notes • Posted 2021-05-01 10:46:19 GMT
#1
Buck & Eddie on Halloween as the gay cowboy & gay roman soldier from Night at the Museum
369 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 18:16:30 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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scoups4lyfe · 2 years
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Hi Karen anon here, long time no see (cause 8 just check tumblr like once a week and that just to read your liveblog. Usually i come to check it on Wed cause uhh I keep remembering the 30 hours anon lol chile anyway).
See, thanks to the newly added tags it did make my reading easier. But, I was scrolling for fun when I encountered the (excuse me if this sound rude) that mf 'interesting' anon. So pls excuse me while I put my Karen wig on
I know this is just Tumblr but people should really be professional. Your blog isnt a ship blog or whatever (though I noticed you just merely implying it sometime) so I found it really annoying that the anon attack you for something taht didnt have anything to do at all. Cause well, I will be honest. Im just interested in your blog bc of the fun af liveblog and the amazing analysis (i read the Ikki analysis so much its my bed time story/hj). And Im quite sure almost everyone who came to your blog is also come for the same reason. So what our personal ship is irrelevant to this blog (well at least thats how far I observed it)
*Taking my wig off* now that was done.
As always, I enjoy reading the live blog. Though I find it weird that in the ep 22 preview, it felt like everything go back to normal? Like Hiromi didn't just unalived down the cliff 😂. But well I will be anxiously waiting for that ep 🙏🙏
Also funny story, so I am someone who likes spoiler. So I will search spoiler on twitter first. Apparently, they all said that Daiji was useless in ep 21 and Im like "Naurr dont be mean to Daiji guysss" (bc they say that /every episode/ it basically a joke). Unfortunately, after watching ep 21 myself Daiji did feel even more....useless (this is strictly my opinion I swear lmao). Like, nah Daiji I cant defend you anymore like this 😂
Well sorry for the long af ask. Thank you for your hardwork and I will wait for the Oltecca(?) analysis. See you next week 🥰🥰 (take care of your health. The covid cases in country really spike up so hard this week 😔)
KAREN ANON????
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Ayyyyy howdy buddy.
I'm glad the new tags help LOL
JDSKFJASDFJSDFDSF
THE KAREN WIG
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'm glad for your wig'ed defense 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and yessssssssss
yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
I'm glad you like my analysis posts LOL!! And awh <333 it's always nice to hear y'all are having fun with the nonsense I've thrown into the abyss aasjdfjsdfjdf
AND YEAH G, I felt the SAME seeing the next episode preview. Really lol'ed cause it felt like we went back to the 'monster of the week' episodes aksdjflkjsdfj.
Tho I know the writers like to troll with us so idk I wouldn't be surprised if every other moment in that episode is just 'sibs mourning' hours. Sooooo funny too cause if it isn't,,,, and everyone's actin like nothing happened lmaooo that's STILL in character
#repress repress repress LOL
AHHHH USELESS DAIJI !!! BROOOO
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soooo funny that's Daiji's pet peeve about himself too lasjdfksdf ;;;that he can't ever seem to do anything (esp when it really matters LOL!)
See, Daiji hates being the "damsel in distress" but that's all he was ever taught to be (cause Ikki and Sakura literally did everything else) and that was another big reason why he went out into the world and got some crazy asf job -- because he wanted to prove to himself too that he's able to do things on his own
but likeeeeeee, idk old habits die hard hahahaha
(Also doesn't help that in times of great stress Daiji clams up instead of being able to properly react to the situation. Aka he just shuts down.)
My homie is still learning just *how* to do things on his own, and then the Kagerou fratricide-stint really had him back-sliding in any positive development he had previously LOL!!!
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My homie is the picture boy for Learned Helplessness
"People that experience repeated abuse and other aversive situations eventually learn to become helpless if nothing they do changes it. It’s as if they internalize that since nothing worked in that situation, nothing will work in similar situations, either. The trauma begins to erode two other critical aspects of mental well-being — self-efficacy and internal locus of control."
haha yoinks. Man I wish we got more flashbacks of the Igarashi sibs past cause DAMN. Pls man give me some bread in this desert.
"Self-efficacy is your level of confidence that you can tackle challenges and learn new skills. Internal locus of control is the degree to which you believe your circumstances are under your control. When these two traits are high, you feel confident and empowered, even when things get tough. Stressors seem controllable, and you know that you can trust yourself to do your best.
When learned helplessness takes over, though, you don’t feel so sure of your ability to handle challenges. You don’t believe that what you do makes a difference, and that makes it hard to see a way out — let alone a silver lining."
(These quotes are taken from: 'What is Learned Helplessness and how do you 'unlearn' It?' blog post/article)
Anyways It's obvious that Ikki's over-parenting has lead to this situation. And I think what makes it worse is that Sakura is more useful/helpful than he is.
(She wants to be seen as capable so she steps up to do as much as she can / to manage what Ikki isn't able to)
So now he's placed in the position of being especially useless LOL.
Anyways, Daiji has a lotttt of problems :')). He's literally the perfect target for cult recruitment.
(Which might be one of the reasons why he's still so quick to defend shady ass Fenix. Fenix is one of the few things he positively attributes to himself, so if Fenix is bad then that just means Daiji's failed *again* at doing the right, correct, moral, 'good', thing.
It's the *only* thing he has giving him any lick of worth. The only thing making him useful. Everything he's accomplished will go to ZILCH the moment Fenix isn't part of the 'good guys.' So,,,for him its just easier to ignore all the red flags. Cause he doesn't want to hate himself more than he already does, rip.)
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
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Amoreena | Chapter Nine
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chapter nine
main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.
Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.
Chapter Warnings: date night!! this is very fluffy, very emotional and extremely horny. edgar allan poe is rolling in his grave at what they did in his enchanted garden
exhibitionism, public sex (no ones there tho), drug mentions at the end (let me know if I should tag anything else!!!!)
word count: 5.4k
from the beginning <3
He spent all of Thursday afternoon with Penelope in Richmond, setting up for his date that night.
Stringing lights on the trees, mowing the grass and trimming the flowers back, the staff ensuring that the museum was in pristine condition for them tonight, it was perfect. The cats were brushed, there were rose petals the fountain and the most beautiful picnic set up in the garden.
Penelope packed their dinner for them, keeping it in the museum fridge for when they finally arrived, it was the only thing Spencer needed to remember.
Y/N: just got home, about to get ready! Can’t wait to see you at 6 ♥︎
Spencer smiled at his phone, about to text her back when Penelope laid a hand on his back, “change into your suit and head back to her, traffic might be bad?”
“Thank you, for everything. You’ve always been my best friend, more of big sister actually,” Spencer pressed his lips together tightly as to not get emotional. “You’re wonderful Penelope, thank you.”
“Awe!” She swooned, wrapping him up in a big hug. “I will always love you, Spencer, you deserve all of this and so, so much more, now go before I cry.”
He laughed, pulling back, hand lingering on her shoulder as he walked into the museum. They let him change in the backroom, it felt incredibly strange to be putting on a suit inside Edgar Allan Poe's house to go pick up his wife. Not too long ago he dreamed about bringing a girlfriend here someday, life was moving too quickly, he needed a breather.
He kept his suit jacket folded and on the passenger seat as he drove home, where he lived with his family. Even just thinking that as he paid attention to the road made him smile. The wind hitting his face, his hair blowing in the breeze, he felt free at last.
He was where he was supposed to be, all roads lead to here.
Travelling up her driveway with a smile on his face as the dust followed him to her doorstep. She was waiting in a red dress on the porch, Amoreena and her nanny eating pizza on the steps as they waited for him.
Stepping out of his car, he straightened his tie and pulled his pants up more, looking at his wife like she was a star plucked from the sky, landing in this Virginia field for him.
She stood then, her satin dress flowing and exposing a leg as she walked down the steps to him, “Is this what you wanted?” She twirled in front of him to show it all off, her hair getting stuck in her lipstick and making her laugh.
“I love you,” is all he can say as she leaning in with a wide grin, surpassing the smile to kiss him gently, using her thumb to get all the lipstick off his bottom lip and chin.
“Love you too, cutie,” she winked, taking his hand and turning back towards Amoreena, “listen to Nanny, remember we love you and we will see you no earlier than 7:30 tomorrow, okay?”
“Yes ma’am!” She saluted, mouth full of pizza.
“And what are the new rules about coming into our bed in the morning?”
“Knock first, wait till you respond, don’t come in unless you say it’s okay,” Amoreena replied, sticking her tongue out at her as she remembered it all.
“Smartie pants,” Y/N smiled at her, “come give us a hug, don’t get pizza on my dress, please.”
Amoreena wiped her sleeve over her mouth before running into her mother's open arms, they shared goodbye kisses before it was Spencer’s turn. She held him so tight it felt wonderful, “goodnight Lovey, I’ll see you tomorrow morning, have the best sleep ever for me?”
“I’ll see you in dreamland,” she replied, kissing his cheek gently before she pulled back.
“Have fun!” Nanny called from the porch as Amoreena skipped back to her.
“We will,” Spencer replied, taking Y/N’s hand and leading her to the passenger side, he opened her door and helped her inside, insuring her dress was inside before closing the door.
Jogging back to his door, he got in and put on his seatbelt. He threw the car in reverse and turned around by the barn, heading down the driveway, not saying a single thing as Y/N stared at him.
“You’re really not going to tell me anything?” She shook her head, licking her lip before biting it as she huffed.
“We’re going to Richmond, Virginia, to read,” he gave her one hint.
“Hmm,” she smiled, “I’m sure you won't tell me the title, so Mr. I can remember every book ever, what’s a random line in it?”
“You’re smart,” he teased her, “but for the brilliant green of the huge leaves that spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying with the Zephyrs—”
“We’re going to the Edgar Allan Poe Museum!” She cut him off with a cheer.
He slows down on the barren dirt road, mouth wide open as she got it right, he turns to her as they come to a complete stop, “how the heck did you get that?”
“Yes!” she laughed, tossing her head back as she clapped and kicked her feet a little, so proud of herself, “I’m a librarian, Spencer! Did you think I wouldn’t know Eleonora?”
“That’s the most random sentence in the whole poem?” Spencer was shocked, she recalled it faster than he thought he would be able to if she read a line to him.
“My brother’s first motorcycle was a Zephyr,” she smiled at him, raising her eyebrows. “My brain is kinda like a filing cabinet, if you give me a word I can remember everything I’ve ever heard with that word included.”
He started to drive again, shaking his head as he paid attention to the road but still astounded by how amazing she is. “Amoreena gets that from you then, she could have both our eidetic memories together, that would be very interesting to see.”
“Eidetic memory?” She questioned.
“It’s what most people call photographic memory,” Spencer explained. “You can remember everything you hear which is why you and Amoreena are able to recall songs, books and movie facts so fast, while I can read back to you anything I’ve read without having to see it again, it’s forever in my mind.”
“So we’re both geniuses, cool,” Y/N smiled at him again, “sorry I ruined your surprise.”
“You just know where we’re going,” he reminded her, laying his hand on hers, interlocking their fingers as he drove.
They had an hour alone before the real date started.
So she showed him all of her favourite songs, including some of Amoreena’s playlists so he could get familiar with them before their trip to Rhode Island. Her voice was impeccable, she knew all the words and harmonies, often opting to cove background voices he wouldn’t have even known were there if it wasn’t for her.
She loved music in a way that intrigued him, she enjoyed music with a story. Much like the reason she loved books so much, she enjoyed picturing the happy places in her mind that the songs were able to take her to, they filled her with glee and hope as she sang to her heart's content. Taking short breaks to explain the meanings of songs, to recite the best lyrics and why the songs are close to her heart.
“Do you want to hear the song that reminds me the most of you?” She asked between songs, pausing so that nothing else would start.
“Sure,” he blushed, nervous for what it could be and how she imagined him in her mind, hoping he could live up to it.
“I'm perfectly fine I live on my own, I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone. We met a few weeks ago, now you try on callin' me, baby, like tryin' on clothes,”
She stares at him with a beautiful smile as she waits to see his reaction to the opening, finally singing when the beat drops, dancing softly in her seat as she belted the words out to him.
“So prove to me I'm your American Queen, and you move to me like I'm a Motown beat, and we rule the kingdom inside my room,” She brushed her hand across his jaw, teasing him as the words flow from her lips to his ears, she loves him and he can feel it with every syllable.
“And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for, King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa! And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa,” she sings so softly, with a purpose, turning it down a little so that he can talk to her.
“I love you,” he reminded her, “so much it hurts sometimes.”
“It’s like your heartstrings are tugging on each other, right?” She agreed, “like they want to jump out of our chests and run to each other.”
He nodded with a soft smile, reaching for her hand again holding it as he brought it to his mouth for a kiss, “queen of my heart.”
“Hmmm,” she thought over his words, “I’m pretty content with being princess still, Lady Amoreena is in line for the thrown, it’s part of her namesake after all.”
“Does the kingdom have a name?”
“You know the Elton John song Goodbye Yellow Brick Road?” She waited for his nod, “my grandma called it Ozellous so it’s like wizard of Oz but I added the 'ellous' because people always said they were jealous of our farm.”
He’s trying his best to keep his eyes on the road when all he want’s to do is look at her smile, to see her pupil change as she recalls the loving memory, it’s his favourite thing to do. Better than any movie or play, seeing her face was better than looking at the most expensive art piece. He was so in love with all of her.
“Were you like Amoreena as a kid?”
“Oh yeah,” she laughed, “bullied hardcore for it too, kids always told me to shut up cause I’d add facts to conversations I wasn’t a part of.”
“I would have loved to listen,” Spencer replied softly, knowing the feeling all too well.
They were only a few minutes away now, turning into the small town and passing quaint little homes and cottages. “Amoreena would love this drive, these are some interesting townspeople homes for her imagination, we should come back sometime this summer.”
His heart was going to actually explode, she was everything he never knew he needed.
“I’d love that,” he added as they pulled into the museum. “I’m a museum member and I’m a patron, so sometimes I donate rare pieces I find, they love me here.”
Her mouth opened to speak, but her eyes got caught on the twinkling lights in the distance, mesmerized by everything. Old cobblestone streets, brick buildings and wooden gates, it was straight out of the 1800s and absolutely fantastical.
“And it’s all ours for the night,” he put the car in park and turned to her, “wait here?”
She nodded, speechless as she continued to look out the window at everything. Spencer got out of the car, opening the back seat to grab and put on his jacket, straighten out his suit before opening her door and extending a hand to help her out.
“Princess,” he extended his arm for her to tuck her own under, he closed her door and escorted her through the gate and towards the garden.
The sun was just starting to set, 7 pm in early June being the most beautiful time of year in rural Virginia, the sky was a perfect purple as he leads her through the stone arches towards the picnic.
Her eyes sparkled with all the lights, wide and pupils blown as she took it all in. It was a fairytale, she was in a princess dress, he was the king of her heart and this was just the beginning of happily ever after.
“Spencer, whatever your middle name is, Reid,” she gasped, swatting his arm lightly with a smile growing on her face.
“It’s Walter,” he smiled right back.
He let go of her hand then and walked over to a table, turning on the record player and dropping the needle in the right spot. He did his research into some Taylor Swift songs, finding one that reminded him the most of Y/N and how much he loved her.
“May I have this dance?” He asks as she notices the all too familiar guitar strumming.
He reaches a hand out for her, pulling her in as she takes it, “I was so so lost before I found you in the park,” he explains the first verse, barely a whisper beside her ear as they start to sway.
There I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles Same old tired, lonely place Walls of insincerity Shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face
“All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you,” he whispers once more, feeling the goosebumps bursting on her bare arms.
He spun her around, extending both their arms as she twirled out and then back into his embrace again with a giggle. She swayed back and forth, dancing with him like the night they got married in her field.
Your eyes whispered "have we met?" Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me The playful conversation starts Counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy
“And it was enchanting to meet you, All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you,” he sings them this time, spinning her out again as the chorus hits, her eyes widening as she began to smile wider than he’s ever seen before.
They sang the words together as they danced, smiling and laughing as they moved around the cobblestone. Finding a rhythm so perfect, so them, it was silly and not on beat in the slightest, mostly spinning, it was a spinning song if the album cover was any indication.
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you!
“The lingering question kept me up, Two a.m., who do you love? I wonder till I'm wide awake! Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door, I'd open up and you would say, hey! It was enchanting to meet you, all I know is I was enchanted to meet you,” Y/N’s voice softer than ever as she sang her anxieties into his ear, remembering the day at the museum where she wondered if she could have him all to herself.
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew This night is flawless, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you
Spinning around in circles she leaves his grasp, dress circling in the wind and he watches her. She takes both his hands and spins around with him in a tight circle before pulling back in, their chests bumping as they laughed, happier than he’s ever been in his entire life, and she’s made him pretty happy in the last few weeks.
The girl of his dreams, dancing around him with a smile like she was making her own music video. This was a dream of hers he didn’t know, making it come true as it became a dream of his own.
He places his hands on her cheeks as he stares into her eyes, “this is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends. My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again. These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon, I was enchanted to meet you,” he whisper’s the words, barely singing, more talking.
“Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you. Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you,” she sings right back to him, staring into his eyes as they stand still in the garden.
She pulls him into a kiss, breathing in deeply through her nose as they hold each other’s cheeks, unable to get closer as they kissed. Pulling away with a loud smooch sound, smiling before taking her hands in his, once more.
Spinning her around again as the beat drops once more, her smile more beautiful than the first time he saw it. He was so madly in love, he firmly believed he was in heaven.
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew!!
This night is flawless, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you!
Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you
“Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did,” Taylor Swift's voice cuts into the beautiful moment as her songs change and the mood drastically changes.
Y/N bursts out in laughter, jumping lightly as she enjoyed the song, head-banging along as she danced by herself until Spencer turned the music off once again, “you’re so cute.”
“Thank you,” she bowed, “this is cute!”
“There’s a picnic basket in the fridge inside, and some wine if you think that’s a good idea?” Pointing towards the main house, she followed him towards the door.
“Oh, hello?” Her voice changed as she noticed the two black cats on the window, letting Spencer head inside for the basket as she talked to them.
“That’s Edgar and Pluto, the groundskeeper found them in the shed in 2012,” Spencer explains as he comes back out, basket in hand but she’s too busy with the cats to notice.
Petting both their faces, they stretch into her reach and bask in the feeling of her nails on their skin, Spencer would agree it felt nice. He loved the feeling of her hands in his hair, he must have been a cat in his last life.
“Amoreena wants her own indoor cat,” Y/N smiled wide at him, “she always wanted to call him Hercules like the Elton John song, almost like she knew you were her dad all along.”
She took his free hand then, following him towards the blanket in the grass, “how?”
“There’s a line in the song about Greek gods, but it says Hercules on her side and Diana in her eyes, and she does have your mom's eyes, right down to the colour of her iris,” Y/N looked at him like he was everything to her.
Spencer couldn’t speak, he just set the basket on the ground and ushered her to sit down beside him. She held the skirt of her dress up so she could sit crisscross applesauce on the blanket, draping her dress over her legs so she didn’t show anything off just yet.
“Every time I look at you I understand all her quirks and her facial expressions,” she added like she was trying to make him cry, “I’ve been looking at her for almost 8 years now, wondering who you were and now I know, and you’re so much better than I ever imagined.”
“Would you have looked for me when she turned 18?” Is all he can ask through his sniffles, trying to hold it together for her.
She nodded, “I was going to tell her soon anyway, she asks a lot of questions I’m not sure if you noticed.” Her giggle was priceless, “she had lots of questions when the goats were born this year and that meant her asking more about making human babies and I just said a special man helped me make my dreams come true, and she thought it was Rumpelstiltskin.”
Spencer couldn’t fight the laugh that erupted from him, leaning forward as he chuckled, making her laugh too. “Does she even know the whole story?”
“She’s only seen the 4th Shrek movie with him, she has no idea that he also takes the babies,” Y/N placed her hand on his knee gently, “If I get pregnant again, I’m going to tell her about how it all works as simply as possible, I want her to feel included in this and she’ll be less jealous if she sees this as a learning opportunity.”
“That’s a good idea,” he agreed, “I still can't believe she almost punched Michael for hugging me.”
“Oh, I can,” Y/N laughed again, “she was being bullied last year by an older kid and I said if someone upsets you or hurts you, sometimes it’s not that bad to hurt them back. Make them know you’re not weak and you care about yourself, and she gave a kid a black eye for tugging on her braid.”
Spencer couldn’t stop smiling, “that’s my girl.”
Y/N opened the picnic basket then, taking everything out with a smile as Spencer stared at her, thinking a million different thoughts about future kids, how Amoreena would grow up, seeing her as a big sister to hopefully many.
They both leaned forward and kissed softly, smiling as they pulled back, “so you like charcuterie?”
She laughed, “Amoreena called it shark coochie once, I can’t not think of that now.”
“How many kids do you want?”
“Have you ever read cheaper by the dozen?” She teased him. “As many as I can have, I have the funds thanks to my job and the farm and not having to pay a mortgage, I was going to have another baby next year anyway, I had an appointment and everything scheduled, I even tried to get them to contact Amoreena’s father for another sample but they said they couldn’t ask you outright for me.”
“They asked me if I wanted to give another sample when I asked if I could know my kids,” Spencer remembered the words exactly, “she said ‘You have four offspring so far, none of the other samples used have produced a child, the women were all IVF as well so it wasn’t your swimmer's fault if you wanted to donate again.’”
“I don’t want to know the truth, are you okay if we let her decide if she wants to find out at 18?” Y/N asked softly, “I’m content thinking you’re her father, I don’t want to know if it’s some other tall who-lookin’ genius, okay?”
“That’s perfect actually,” Spencer agreed, “and on the kids front, you don’t mind me being in my 70s when they all start going to University?”
“My dad is 68 with no signs of stopping, and he’s still fantastic with his grandkids,” Y/N always had a fact to combat his anxiety. “You have a lot of life left in you, I’ll take good care of you so that they have the best dad ever for as long as possible.”
Spencer was so in love with his family he felt like he was floating, laughing and smiling all meal long as they shared facts back and forth about their lives. Getting to know each other more and more as the seconds passed, he imagined it would be like this forever. She was like a bottomless pit of information, facts, stories and secrets. He loved every single one she shared with him.
She poured herself a second small glass of wine, “you know they say that one glass of wine every once in a while is actually good for the baby?”
“It doesn’t work that fast,” he reminded her, more like he reminded himself. He didn’t want to hope in the chance it didn’t happen right away.
“I had a nightmare last night for the first time in a long time, so I think it worked,” she teased him. “I won't know till June 10th, that's when my next period would be.”
“Nightmare?” It was the only part he picked up on, worried for her and wondering why she didn’t wake him up.
She nodded softly, “I found out I was pregnant and you never came home, and I got lost in the forest looking for you and then I remembered I could wake up.”
He rests his hand on her knee, rubbing his thumb against her bare skin softly, “I’m always coming home to you.”
“I know, when I got pregnant with Amoreena I had bad dreams in the first few weeks too, mostly about giving birth to nothing and being alone all over again, the subconscious and pregnancy hormones are mean as fuck when they hang out,” she laughed away the pain, “I know none of it is real.”
“Good,” he whispered, not knowing what really to say, he wasn’t used to soothing other people yet. Most people didn’t want his facts or concernment when something happened, just a hug normally.
She took a deep breath, pushing everything away, “good news, either my anxiety disorder is back in full swing or something’s working in here,” she laid her hand over her stomach, “either way, I’d like to try again tonight?”
He laughed, “we don’t need to make a baby every time you want to have sex?”
She got onto her knees then, crawling over the blanket and sitting right in Spencer's lap with her hands on both of his cheeks, “I want all your babies.”
He held her waist, pulling her in closer to his chest, “right now?”
She nodded, moving her dress out of the way to undo his belt, “no one is here right? It’s not like anyone would know?”
“Mhmm,” he agreed, kissing her neck as she unzipped his pants, moving his underwear out of the way just enough to free his hardening cock, she stroked it right there in the middle of the garden, staring down between their bodies in awe as he came to life.
Sitting up on her knees more, the slit of her dress made it a lot easier for her to show him her underwear. She was wearing just a thong, perfect for pulling to the side as she lowered herself onto him, ever so slowly.
She fixed her dress around them, completely calm and composed as he was fully inside of her, “you’re okay with this?”
He huffed a laugh out of his nose, dropping his forehead to her shoulder so he couldn’t buck into her and ruin the moment she was making, his hands moving to her hips, guiding her back and off him slightly before back down again, making her gasp.
“I thought you wanted to read?” She teased him as she started to ride him more, moving her hips in a way that took him in and out of her at just the right angle, her hands on his shoulders as she bounced on him lightly, he couldn’t even think straight. “Go on, read to me.”
He took a second to remember the words, mind totally somewhere else and not interested in a book at all when her boobs were right in his face.
“I am come of a race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion,” the first sentence slipped past his lips as she kept going, he took a moment to kiss right under her ear before continuing.
“Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence—whether much that is glorious—whether all that is profound—does not spring from disease of thought—from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect.”
“Shit,” she moaned, pushing his hand down towards her clit, “you can multitask, smartie pants.”
His thumb was on a mission then, rubbing small circles against her pleasure point, she tossed her head back with her eyes closed as she continued to ride him, “I don’t hear you reading?”
He moaned softly in her ear at the feeling, and the fact she wanted to get off to hearing him recite something from memory, it was more euphoric than he could have ever imagined.
“They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. In their gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity, and thrill, in ah- awakening, fuck,” he was trying his best to stay as composed as she was when he really just wanted to lay her against the blanket and fuck her into next week.
“to find that they have been upon the verge of the great secret,” Y/N whispered the end of the sentence, grinding down on him harder than before.
“In snatches, they learn something of the wisdom which is of good,” she whispered into his ear, biting his earlobe softly with a moan and he kept rubbing her clit, “you’re so good, Spencer, so so good," she paused to enjoy the moment before whispering in his ear once more, "And more of the mere knowledge which is of evil. They penetrate, however, rudderless or compass-less into the vast ocean of the "light ineffable," and again, like the adventures of the Nubian geographer, "agressi sunt mare tenebrarum, quid in eo esset exploraturi.”
Her words softer than ever and they were never going to get to the end of this poem, he'd never know how the rest of the words sound on her tongue, she pulled him into a kiss then, moaning into his mouth as they ground against each other, finding a perfect rhythm to bring them to the end.
“There, yes, fuck,” she whispered against his lips, pushing against him as she arched her back slightly, slipping away from his mouth as she did so.
He slammed into her then as he chased her lips, making her whimper one last time before she was shaking in his lap, her legs quivering as she finished on him, sending him over the edge and stilling as he came with a shudder. He held her so close, both of them breathing into each other's mouths as they came down, kissing and smiling as they stayed connected.
“We’ll name her Eleonora,” Y/N teased, pulling off him and laying back against the blanket.
He made sure her underwear was back in the right spot before covering her with her dress again and sliding himself back into his underwear.
“Amoreena and Eleonora have a good ring to it, we just need 10 more names,” he teased right back.
“Hopefully we have a little boy one day too,” she smiled as she tugged him down beside her, cuddling into her side as they stared up at the newly dark blue sky and the array of stars that decided to join them this evening.
“Even if it’s just Amoreena, I’ve never been happier in my whole life than when I’m with you,” he whispered. “Thank you.”
“For what?” She asked, purely to keep hearing his voice.
“Making me want to get up in the morning again, giving me a reason not to buy drugs for something euphoric to happen to me, showing me real love and proof that happiness is possible if you just chose to be happy,” he gave example after example.
“I thought I learned everything the world had to offer, but you’ve been showing me new little life hacks that make the world so much better, I see a future of bright colours and happiness and laughter for the first time ever, so thank you.”
She held him closer, “it’s been a pleasure falling in love with you, together, you deserve to love yourself. You’re so wonderful Spencer, it breaks my heart to know that anyone has ever made you feel the opposite.”
He couldn’t speak anymore, turning to kiss her neck and cheek so he had something to do that wasn’t crying. He loved her so incredibly deeply that he felt like he was an anchor, dropping to the bottom of her deepest ocean, without a single plan to leave.
tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187
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7wanderingpaws · 3 years
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Always, yours (2)
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(gif not mine) - THIS Baek tho..... ㅠ
Warnings: none
Word count: 6.5K
Tags: @geniusloey​ (please let me know if you want to be un/tagged!)
❤ Enjoy! Please let me know your thoughts! ^^ Have a good start of the week!❤
Also, the new apartment!
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Masterlist / story masterlist
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Second - My name is Lee Junho and I will be your trainer
You stood at the entrance of the gym, your palms somehow clammy. You didn’t realize putting on leggings would look this bad. Tears welled up in your eyes when Sukyeong took your hand to yank you inside.
“C’mon, don’t be ridiculous,” she whispered to you and when she managed to pull you inside, she pressed her fisted hand against your back, making you walk ahead. “You look great! You don’t even look like you’ve been pregnant,” she hissed in your ear.
Arguable, you thought right away but decided not to be any more negative. The only good point was you were able to leave home without the triplets. Baekhyun, just as promised, was home by six so you didn’t have to worry about leaving them at the baby corner (it was baby safe, you went to check the place out).
Slightly bowing to the other girls as you walked past, most of them your age or older, you decided to be in the back, far away from the teaching lady. You imagined her being young, and very fit. Her black hair would be shiny and she would have make-up to look perfect. A great way to ruin one’s self-esteem such as yours.
However, a single nudge from Sukyeong and your non-existent self-esteem basically vanished into thin air. Instead, anxiety with a sprinkle of bewitchedness, hit you for in walked a handsome male, around Baekhyun's age, with eyes like that of a cat's; narrow and sharp, his features leveled, nose straight with a pair of plump lips. He had longer dark hair that fell over his forehead in fluffy waves.
“Good evening, ladies!” he announced himself, clapping twice to gain everyone's attention. He didn't have to do it though; more than half of the ladies were already salivating over him, including your best friend. When the trainer saw wide eyes on him, he let out a boyish chuckle and this time, you couldn't escape the charm either. He was incredibly handsome. “My name is Lee Junho and I will be your trainer! I have some experience with working out,” he joked and, of course, everyone laughed louder than it was necessary. His toned chest and arms spoke volumes about his experience. “Please, let me know in advance if there are any injuries you have so that I can adjust the exercises to you accordingly. Do you have any questions?” He looked around with interest, his eyes skimming through any possible curious hand.
“Should I tell him that I'm…. you know,” you mumbled to Sukyeong but before you could finish your sentence, you shook your head, stopping yourself. It will be alright, you thought. As always, you made sure to feed the triplets properly and pump your breasts, so you expected no problems with the excessive breast milk leaking over your t-shirt this time.
Just like that, you found yourself jumping up and down as the exercise started. Lee Junho seemed to be a great professional, always adjusting everyone's postures to ensure full effectiveness. With the help of the deafening pop music, everything seemed suddenly possible. Until it came to you and until he lingered more by your side than the rest of the girls.
It was to be expected, but you still felt stupid. You couldn't do the push-ups like all the other girls who already had a great body. Meanwhile, hidden under Baekhyun's huge black shirt that you stole, was your still-fading baby bump. It was difficult to even try to get your shoulders off the mat as you did sit-ups; you were heaving loudly, sweat dripping down your face.
“Push just a little bit more,” murmured Junho with an encouraging  smile as he put his hand between your shoulder blades, helping you sit up higher. It was a good support, but your abs were on fire, numbing everything that was made out of your core. “That's right, keep doing it like that.”
You hummed, and tried a few more times before giving up. Sukyeong wasn't that much better than you, but she still could sit up. She flashed you a small smile and mouthed: “Are you okay?”
You nodded, resting your head on the mat, trying to breathe through the workout.
As you moved through various core strengthening exercises, you started to feel it. The hurting in your breasts, the kind of feeling that you tried to prevent from happening at all costs. The closest you could compare it to was rocks.
You felt yourself panicking when you looked at Junho who was paying attention to someone else. If you wouldn't leave now, it would be too late.
“I'll be back in a minute,” you told Sukyeong, scrambling up to shaky legs. Baekhyun's shirt was getting wet now, your sports bra quickly becoming a bucket full of milk. Making few quick steps, you walked over to the door when Junho spoke up:
“Oi, are you okay? Are you sick?” He came running to you by the entrance door.
You shook your head with a polite smile. “I really need to use the bathroom.”
“Oh, we will be finishing up soon,” he said, giving you a look. Right, kids in kindergarten were learning how to hold their pee in, not how to hold back the breast milk.
You were embarrassed, but you still said: “Well, I ate something bad and this won't wait any longer-” you pushed the door open and jogged for the toilets, already pushing up the soaked shirt. Once safely inside, you yanked down the sports bra and let the milk out. You exhaled a loud sigh of relief. You knew this would cause a little mess as it was several streaks that were leaking, the milk staining everything around.
Chewing your lips, you strained your ears when you heard commotion outside, the class most probably finished. You'd been in the toilets for at least ten minutes now, so you expected Sukyeong to come search for you soon.
There was a hasty knock on the door and you were fast to hide your chest back under the shirt. Then you heard your best friend's whisper: “It's just me! Can I come in?”
You were fast to give her the permission. She closed the door behind her and you took out your breasts again, the milk once again spraying everywhere. Sukyeong scratched her head, clueless. “I have a spare shirt. Here,” she handed you the white thermal-shirt.
You shook your head. “No, I cannot wear this. It'll stain and I bet the shirt was expensive,” you bit your lip. Before she could protest with a conflicted gaze, you just waved your hand nonchalantly. “I'll be done soon. It's already much better. Besides, I don't think I could push it over my chest. I'm huge,” you admitted quietly, a little embarrassed. You trusted Sukyeong and she would never joke or judge but it was still an uncomfortable situation only Baekhyun was allowed to witness. When you saw she wasn't convinced, you added with a smile: “Baekhyun gave me a sweater before coming here, so I will wear that. Go and get our stuff? I'll be out in a minute.”
“Will you be fine?” she said, her eyes widening in small fear at the sight of the milk.
“Of course,” you winked. She gave you a look over and when she was convinced, she turned, leaving you in the toilets alone. 
Just a few minutes later and the flow finally calmed down. You took some toilet paper, wiping yourself up before cleaning up the surroundings. You were drained and you didn't even finish the workout.
When you were sure everything looked decent, you finally walked back to the gym. It was empty; only some distant sounds of chattering coming your way. Sukyeong was in the corner, entertaining the trainer.
“Are you okay?” he asked you when you walked over to them, taking your bag and your phone along the way. Junho didn't look necessarily worried, but he seemed to care enough about his clients which you found good enough. 
“Yes,” you smiled half-heartedly. “Thank you.”
Sukyeong bowed to Junho. “Then we will take our leave!”
“Alright, it was nice meeting you. I will see you on Thursday, ladies,” he pressed a smile, bowing politely. He kept following you with his sharp eyes and, unconsciously, you became shy under his scrutiny. There was something happening whenever your eyes met and you weren't sure what it was. Maybe you were just making it up because he was handsome and you wanted to believe he had an eye for you. It would make you feel like you could have been special.
“Goodness, what a hotshot,” murmured Sukyeong to you as the both of you left the premises of the gym. “He is so smart!”
You sighed, quickly putting on the sweater Baekhyun pushed into your hand before leaving the apartment. You will be sweaty, make sure to wear this once you're done, he would tell you. “You managed to get something out of him?”
“Doesn't seem to be here just to eye the girls,”she informed you proudly as she slugged her bag over her shoulder. “So that is a plus point!”
She led the both of you to the carpark, her shiny small Kia awaiting you near the exit. It was a good idea to park it nearby as you didn't have to walk more on your wobbly legs. Once seated inside, you threw your bag on the backseat and sighed, leaning your head back against the headrest.
“Are you alright?” asked Sukyeong, uncertainty evident in her eyes as she placed her bag behind her seat and turned back front, pressing the button to bring the car to life.
You nodded, though she couldn't see you. “I'm okay, thank you.” You hesitated. “Maybe a little embarrassed,” you finally admitted, staring out of your window to see other women entering their cars. Many of them owned Mercedes' or BMWs and you instantly wondered how they were able to afford such a car at such a young age.
“Oh, dear, no.” Sukyeong was fast to turn to grab your thigh, trying to bring your diverted attention to her. “There is nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“I literally told him if I don't leave I will poo myself,” you whined and turned to her dramatically.
Sukyeong was about to refute but she stopped, surprised at your words. “Wait, you told him that?”
You nodded, exasperated. “I told the handsome dude I can't keep it in if he won't let me leave. I couldn't possibly tell him: yo, move or else I'll shoot you down with my breastmilk now, could I?”
She burst out into a huge laughter, her nose scrunching up in the process. “Well, if you say it like that!”
Both of you were now laughing, though you were more on the desperate side. You really made an idiot out of yourself while still having the issue of controlling your milk.
“You know, I think it would be good to tease Baekhyun a little bit. I told you that you shouldn’t let him prioritize his job. If he does it you need to show him you aren’t someone he can take for granted.”
Your joyful smile slowly melted into a frown. “Baekhyun never took me for granted and you also know it.”
“Of course I know it! I’d trust Baekhyun with my life,” she insisted quickly and started driving out of the car park and out to the busy Seoul traffic. It was incredible how this city never slept. “I’m just trying to say that a little bit of teasing never hurt anyone. You’re now a mother and you have three kids together.”
Small silence took over the car. You were looking out of the window, enjoying the unusual luxury of being in a car instead of a packed bus while your mind was roaming over what your friend said. “So, you say our relationship can become rusty? He would lose interest after some time now that I’m not so... fresh?”
Sukyeong breathed out a small laugh at the choice of your words. “I doubt Baekhyun would get tired of you.  Ever. It is true that men see their women differently after birthing their children.” She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, thinking over what to tell you. “You’re only twenty-three —you’re too young, so make sure to let him know you’re still full of life and can become hard to tie down.”
You let out a doubtful snort but you felt uneasy at the topic. It never occurred to you that one day you and Baekhyun wouldn’t be together. It never occurred to you that you could lose love for each other because both of your interests would change and he would seek consolation from another partner and maybe you would stay alone. This wasn’t a new thought to you; Jiyoung, Baekhyun’s ex colleague, was challenging you more than enough in the past but even then you knew Baekhyun wasn’t interested in her. What if he found someone that actually piqued his interest? 
You shook your head quickly, rejecting the ugly idea. “You city girls have a very interesting way of thinking.”
“Just do it.” Sukyeong looked at you with excited eyes when she stopped at another red light. “Mention a hot trainer and see what’ll happen,” she told you wickedly, giggling.
<3
Upon arriving at home, you were met with Baekhyun's high-pitched talk. It calmed you down right away, and you felt like in safe haven after the small fight in the gym.
“I'm home,” you sing-sang, dropping the bag down by the entrance and taking off the sweater.
Baekhyun faked a gasp. “Who is it, Jun? Is it mummy? Let's check it out quickly!” And within a second, he appeared with Jun hanging off his connected arms, pretending he was on an airplane. Even though you trusted Baekhyun with keeping the baby safe in his arms, it gave you a little heart attack. Besides, triplets were still too small for that. “Look, Jun, it's mummy!” he exclaimed while looking over his shoulder, most probably checking  Juna and Junhee. “Welcome  home, babe,” he told you with a leveled voice, looking at you now. He adjusted Jun in his arms, having his head on his shoulder while you took off your shoes, watching him.
Your husband looked so incredibly soft. His hair was now covering his forehead, somehow making his eyes look much more puppy-eyed, just like the baby he was holding. Despite being so wide and incredibly manly, you had the urge to squeeze his cheeks like you would do to your triplets, because he was so adorable, so loveable. He was wearing his huge white T-shirt and black pants and no socks; the typical look when he was home, but for some reason, after going through challenges in the gym, you felt like he was much more inviting and cuddly, providing you comfort by simply being him, by simply staring at you with those soft eyes. He was so Baekhyun.
“I see you are having a good time,” you noted with a smile and stood on your tiptoes when Baekhyun demanded a kiss with puckered lips like a little duck. You made sure to cradle Jun’s tiny butt, your expert hand immediately knowing he had a change of the nappy recently. 
“Now it's much better,” he muttered, kissing you with a loud smooch. “How was the work-out?” he asked when he straightened up, rocking Jun exaggeratedly in his arms. Just then, his eyes dropped to your chest, the white stains very much obvious on the black textile. “Shit, did you leak?”
You shrugged, not wanting to talk about it as you walked past him to greet your daughters that were on the playmat with their little toys. “I should have known better.” Baekhyun followed you, watching as you sat down and kissed the two baby girls. “Time to change the nappies over here, hm?” Your voice was light as you touched the babies’ butts but you were surprised when they were all clean, too. Baekhyun must have worked hard during your absence.
“Sweetheart, we should go to the doctor's,” Baekhyun told you as he sat down on the couch in front of the play mat. Jun squirmed in his arms, whimpering, so he laid him gently on the blanket that was splayed next to him. “I don't like this and they could solve the issue.”
You took Junhee's tiny feet into your hands, massaging them, the skin incredibly smooth under your palm. “I'm scared they will do something that will prevent me from feeding them.”
“You know it doesn't matter whether you feed them breast milk or we give them formula. You breastfed long enough anyway. This is about your well-being, too.”
“I just want them to be close to me as much as possible,” you said, lowering your voice. It made you remember how you didn’t even think much about feeding your kids while being pregnant, and now here you were, reluctant to let go of breastfeeding. Three babies was a lot of hard work, but it was always your dream to be a mother. You wanted to make sure you really didn’t have a choice before you would make a decision. Baekhyun was correct, but you still believed the longer you were with the babies the stronger would be your bond with them. “It's a good way for them to be connected to me.”
Baekhyun observed you for a moment before checking Jun whose feet were up in the air, his tiny hands coming up to pat on them clumsily. He was a little baby ball discovering all the possible movements his body was slowly able to make. “I understand. I just want you to know that it isn't a bad thing if you stop doing it. Some women can't breastfeed at all.”
“Because they are unable to, Baekhyun.” The way your voice had an edge to it made you look up at him to catch a little panic in his eyes. He didn't want to make you upset and you felt guilty right away. “I am perfectly able to provide them with milk, but I overproduce and yes it makes my life a little more difficult but I don’t want to lose this opportunity. I'd rather not go.”
“Okay, as you wish,” he gave up quickly, not wanting to argue. He understood why you would be upset. And usually, he would try to be more persistent since he didn’t want you to suffer but he could sense your damp mood; the workout most probably gave you a harder time, he guessed. And, of course, he, as a man, couldn't comprehend completely what you were going through when your milk was flowing from you like an unstoppable mountain stream.
You hummed and stood up, your ankles sighing at the movement. “I'll go wash up.”
Baekhyun followed you with his gaze until you disappeared in the corridor that led towards your shared bedroom. He looked back down at Jun and then at the girls on the mat. “Well, what shall we do to make mummy feel better?” he pouted at them.
Small baby gurgles came back to him in response. “Right, I agree,” he replied thoughtfully. He was quiet for a moment, only hearing the distant sounds from the TV and your movements in the bedroom. Checking the clock on the opposite wall, he was fast to jump up. “Now, you naughty kids, it’s way past your bedtime and you still don’t sleep! Let’s get you all to the crib before mommy comes back!”
Since the triplets were calm, he knew they would fall asleep soon. He made sure their energy would be somehow drained while you were away although he was sure he used up more energy than they did. It was difficult to work with infants and he didn’t know how you managed it on a daily basis nonstop. Another reason for him to admire and respect you.
“I’ll see you whenever you wake us up,” he told them when he put Jun, the last baby,  in the crib. He laughed gently to himself and observed his offsprings with a tender gaze. He had to admit that Jun looked like him when he was a baby. Junhee was definitely your splitting image while Juna seemed to be in the middle, though her eyes were Baekhyun’s, too. She was the perfect mix of you and him. 
He wondered which one of them would love hapkido. He wondered which one of them would be smart in mathematics like you were. Which one of them would hate foreign languages and cucumbers? Which one of them would cry the most in the kindergarten and which one of them would always be the quiet one? Baekhyun hoped and wished that the triplets would have a special bond that would always protect them from getting hurt by other people. After all, the world kept getting harsher and harsher day by day.
“I’ll always be there for you,” he whispered just when Junhee’s eyes closed, her small mouth hanging open when she let go of the pacifier. “You’ll always have me and mummy to protect you. Always.”
<3
You took your time in the bathroom. Muscles you didn't know existed were aching, so you took the luxury to let yourself be soaked in warm water a little bit longer. There was a soft knock on the door and you quickly let Baekhyun enter.
He was expressionless but when you locked eyes as he closed the door with his back, he pulled a smile meant only for you. “Do you feel better?” he asked quietly, setting the monitor on the sink before walking up to you. He leaned down, pecking you on the top of your head.
“Much better,” you sighed, closing your eyes when you felt his hand slide down your cheek and to your neck. Since he brought in the monitor with him, you took it he managed to put the babies to sleep. It only made you feel worse that you still could become irritated at such a good husband like Baekhyun. “Sorry I snapped at you.”
“No,” he was fast to mutter against your hair, his thumb grazing the skin on your jaw. “I understand. I am just worried, is all.”
“I know, and I don't appreciate it enough,” you replied and Baekhyun pulled away to look down at you with crinkled eyes.
“You do much more, sweetheart. Don't be so harsh on yourself, hm?” He let go of you and slid down next to the bathtub, his back against it. You had the urge to splash him with water but you decided you would have a water fight another day. “Besides, you went to work out after a full day of mothering. It's only natural you'd be frustrated.”
“If only you couldn't read me so well.”
Baekhyun smiled to himself. “How could I tease you if I wouldn't know my wife so well, hm?”
He heard you let out a small chuckle from behind him. “Life would be so much easier.”
Your husband laughed and turned his head to look at you over his shoulder. Water was just barely covering your chest, your cheeks were rosy from the heat and your baby hair was curled up from the humidity. Goodness, he couldn't stop staring. You looked like an angel.
“What?” you murmured, his intense gaze making you pink even more.
“Nothing,” was his breathy reply. “Just admiring my gorgeous little lady.”
With a shy smile, you sat up, causing small waves in the bathtub, and you pressed your lips to his pouty ones. His eyes widened playfully and when you wanted to pull back, he chased your lips, grounding you. You smiled, bringing your wet hand up to his cheek, but he didn't react to the wetness, simply prolonging the innocent kiss. “You know,” you told him when you separated, your noses still touching. Baekhyun hummed in interest, watching your lips before he flickered his orbs up to yours. “There was a really hot guy in the gym.”
Baekhyun blinked a couple of times, letting your words sink in and he was fast to withdraw from you. “What?”
You giggled, satisfied at his reaction. It wasn't that bad to listen to Sukyeong's offer after all. “Yes, he was the one leading the class today.”
“A hot guy leading a class for women?” he repeated, surprised.
Now then, why did he ever expect you to just not pay attention to other males? You never did, or so he thought, but he was still taken aback. The way your eyes sparkled in mischief was an obvious sign that you were just trying to rile him up for whatever reason, yet he still felt a little protective. Did that man look at you, too?!
“Why, you don't like it?” you quipped, poking your tongue out to him.
He observed you giggling, your eyes crinkled up when you took note of his disapproval. Something moved within him. “You want me to like it?”
You sighed lovingly and booped his nose. “I want you to like me, silly. I’m just playing around.”
Baekhyun huffed, offended, and spoke in a prominent pout: “I don't like it, young lady. You have me. You have triplets with me. I love you. And you love me.”
“That, I do.” Bringing up in the air your left hand, you looked how the band on your fourth finger caught the light in the bathroom. “And here is the proof.”
He was looking up at your hand and he joined it with his, his own ring shining just like yours. He enveloped his fingers around yours gently. “Why would you try to make oppa worried about such things?” murmured Baekhyun in wonder as he stood up and towered over you. He let go of your hand and leaned further down so his face was close to yours, his long neck chain swaying in the air between you. “Oppa doesn't like sharing, but you know that, right?”
You nodded, awaiting his next words. Except, it wasn't words. Baekhyun surprised you by swiftly lowering his hands into the warm water to grab a hold of you under your knees and waist. You squealed, suddenly scared you might slip out of his grip so you quickly circled your arms around his neck, water splashing everywhere. But seeing his biceps flexing you knew he was much better than Lee Junho or any other trainer there was.
“I'm naked and wet, Baekhyun!” you screamed and Baekhyun laughed loudly, enjoying your little panic as he moved you out of the bathtub, bringing you over where the sink was.
“Hmm, exactly,” he hummed in appreciation, his eyes twinkled and you quickly hid your face in his neck, embarrassed. “You don't get to play with oppa's heart like that and not get punished, baby girl.”
Despite the excitement, he put you down, more worried about you catching a cold than teasing the hell out of you. As soon as your legs were on the floor, you slapped his chest, making the male groan. “You silly! You could have dropped me!”
“I would never,” he denied quietly, pecking you sweetly and reaching for the towel that was hanging next to the bathtub. “And don't forget,” he reminded, wrapping the towel around your shoulders, making sure it was catching every drop of water, “that you still have a punishment list from when you were pregnant. Don't think I forgot.”
Your eyes widened in horror and you frowned at him like a little kid though secretly you really thought he had forgotten. “You are being so mean right now!”
Baekhyun only smirked and tapped your naked bum gently as he brought your body closer. “You asked for it. From now on, I won't hold back anymore,” he murmured, brushing your hair behind your ear. It tickled.
There were feelings of excitement, eagerness and curiosity bubbling in your tummy, or maybe those were just the butterflies Baekhyun awakened whenever he did something heart-fluttering and challenging to your relationship. It was a long time since you two had been together, but finding ways to ignite the passion and desire in the both of you was Baekhyun's specialty. And you would try to make it yours, now that you seemed to find a weak spot of his.
“You can start by kissing me as a thank you for bringing you out of the tub,” he said when you didn't reply.
You scoffed and re-adjusted the towel, bringing it around your body. It made you feel conscious that you were completely naked in front of him, although Baekhyun didn't even pay attention. His own clothes were wet since he brought you out of the water. The white tshirt was stuck to his stomach, perfectly outlining his muscles.
Baekhyun pursed his lips when you didn't listen. You turned to walk out of the bathroom but he was fast to grab your wrist, turning you back to him. “I said, give me a kiss.”
“No!” You shook your head resolutely, sticking your lower lip out as you frowned, hoping to make him agitated.
The excitement in you only doubled when Baekhyun quirked an eyebrow, leaning his head closer to yours and turning his smooth cheek towards you as he tapped his long index finger on it. “C’mon, a peck for oppa.”
His other hand sneakily wandered to your side to tickle you and you were fast to giggle crazily, pushing his hand away. “Okay, okay,” you said quickly and pressed your lips to his awaiting cheek. He hummed, feeling your mouth stretched in a smile and he turned his face, his lips colliding with yours.
You squealed, wanting to step back - because he was being unfair - but his hands sneaked around your waist, bringing you to him and therefore successfully caging you in. He urged your mouth open, slowly pushing his tongue into your cavern that became quickly eager to feel him. You sighed and slid your hands up his sturdy chest. You nibbled on his lip though he quickly stopped you when he sucked on your tongue hard, bringing out a small moan out of you. He made out with you sensually and you knew you were becoming giddy because of him.
He let his hands grope your bum, giving a good massage to your aching muscles and you moaned again, satisfied. “I guess I will have to show you a much better workout routine,” Baekhyun whispered when he let go of your lips with a smack.
Your heart skipped a beat when you realized there really wasn’t anything standing in your way. The triplets were asleep and Baekhyun riled you up so much it would be difficult to lie down next to him without touching him. “Then show me, oppa,” you made sure to emphasize the “p” sound, his twinkly eyes on your swollen lips.
He chuckled lovingly and kissed your forehead, his lips leaving a bit of moisture behind. Gently intertwining your hands, he led you out of the bathroom and straight to your bed. 
“Lie down for me, sweetheart,” he told you quietly as he went to close the bedroom door. Once you got the needed privacy, he reached behind him, pulling on the shirt that he swiftly took off, your eyes appreciating the way his muscles flexed. He threw it on the floor and walked over to you, already lying on bed as he told you to. “Let me remind you that you’re oppa’s,” he mumbled with passion, already distracted by your body that was still covered with the towel.
His words ignited the desire in you and when he hovered over you with a focused gaze, you knew this would be a long night for the both of you.
<3
On Thursday, you went to the gym with determination. The reason was simple: two babies hanging off you and one hanging off of Sukyeong. Baekhyun was running late from work so you had to bring them with you this time. Despite your huge worries, you had to drop them off at the baby corner. The kind, elderly lady showed you the young babysitter that would be in charge of your triplets (after everyone stopped ogling them and squealing about how cute they were). Her name was Sonhee and her smile was the purest you had ever laid eyes on. Her face was gentle and her eyes seemed to be telling a story of a difficult life. What was a little interesting was that you had a feeling you had seen her somewhere before and it wasn't in this gym.
“Do you have any license to prove that she is capable of taking care of three infants?” barged into the conversation Sukyeong, her eyes suspiciously looking over the girl. Even though you had the same question, you wouldn't have uttered it so bluntly. “She looks too young. Even younger than their mother,” she added with a huff.
The lady in charge, Mrs Lee, didn’t show her shock - that was if there was any. “She is the eldest sibling in her family. At home, she is taking care of five more siblings and she is a kindergarten teacher in practice during the school year.”
Your mouth shaped an “o”, nodding thoughtfully and you quickly nudged Sukyeong, catching her opening her mouth to rebut again. “Thank you. I know Sonhee won't do anything to undermine my trust.”
“I will do my best.” Sonhee bowed the perfect 90 degrees and you quickly lowered your head as well, accepting her respect. “I will make sure nothing bad will happen!”
You smiled and quickly looked over the triplets again. They were three months old and you would already let them be with a stranger. Were you still considered a responsible and good mother?
“All the rich mothers do it and they are considered great for doing it,” answered your question Sukyeong in a monotone as you were walking to the gym. “It is just sixty minutes - what can happen during such a short time?”
You frowned, pouting. “Oh, once you'll have kids, you will know, Sukyeong-ah,” you mumbled under your breath. With babies, things could go wrong within seconds. What made Sukyeong ever believe leaving babies alone for sixty minutes was safe?
“Well, it'll be fine!” she smiled brightly as you entered a still empty gym. You put your bag and phone down, and noticed the last message Baekhyun wrote:
sorry again baby enjoy your workout let me know if the munchkins were okay when you dropped them off love you baby ❤️
Your heart fluttered at the last sentence and you shot him a quick reply with an update when you heard the door of the gym opening, you trainer, Lee Junho, appearing.
He had a sleeveless sports shirt that showed his defined arms and boy, was he chunky in all the right ways. You were the first one his eyes fell on and his straight lips stretched into a delightful smile. To your surprise, he called your name: “Hello! You came already today! Ah, Sukyeong, too!”
You gave him a shy smile and caught him looking quickly over your outfit. The typical. Baekhyun's huge shirt with old pants that your legs could get lost in. You wouldn't be wearing leggins any time soon, you swore. All the ladies wore tight pilates clothing, so you were aware you looked like a trash bag but you never felt more comfortable. Just to see whether Junho let something on in his face, you watched him, but he only diverted his attention to Sukyeong who greeted him with a wide smile.
“Were you alright on Tuesday after the class?” asked Junho as he started to stretch on the floor.
Sukyeong, wanting to be a good student, followed him while you were still standing, the phone in your hands vibrating with most probably incoming messages from your husband. You pinked.
“Ye-yeah, I was … okay,” you mumbled. You already forgot about the stupid lie you made up so he would let you go to the troilets on Tuesday. Baekhyun made sure you forgot about every sane thought that night, so in conclusion, you were more than alright after class on Tuesday.
Junho nodded attentively. “Well, you can try to take it easier today, I won’t mind,” he winked with a grin.
Your eyebrows shot up. “Alright.”
“Is it exam season at uni that has you so stressed?” was his next question when he reached for his stretched out feet. 
“Sorry?”
“Ah, right, well she could easily be a uni student,” giggled Sukyeong, looking at you. “My friend is still so young. She shouldn’t be so stressed, right, Junho?”
Junho watched your friend from the corner of his eye with amusement. “It would be great if no one had any stress in their lives.”
Deciding not to answer, you wanted to check your messages but the rest of the class started to arrive, so you joined Sukyeong instead. Stretching was always a good choice and Baekhyun told you about the importance of warming up properly.
“He seems to be interested in you,” whispered Sukyeong eagerly when Junho became busy replying to his fangirl students. “You piqued his curiosity!”
“Shh, stop that!” you winced, pushing her. She was spitting nonsense to tease you but- why was your heart skipping like that?!
After waiting for five more minutes, you started the workout. Even though you were already terrible, you had a weird anxiety from Junho. Maybe it was Sukyeong’s teasing that made you weirdly conscious of his gaze whenever he looked your way or looked directly at you.
You were sweating like a pig, your face shiny from the perspiration but you were determined not to give up. It was for your own benefit, your own health and if you worked on yourself, you could carry the triplets and carry the groceries - you could become a physically acclaimed superwoman!
“Make sure to straighten your back when you do the plank!” shouted Junho over the loud music just when he walked by you. Stopping, he crouched down and placed his hand first between your shoulder blades. “Keep it straight for me,” he told you and then both of his hands landed on your hips, making you go stiff under his touch. “Hips square to the mat. Make sure to squeeze your abs to keep your core strong and balanced,” he was telling in a hushed tone that felt weirdly intimate to you. 
“I don’t have abs,” you heaved out, your arms shaking as you tried to keep the plank straight and correct. Junho huffed a laugh, standing up. “Well, you're doing great anyway!”
Feeling the relief when you saw him walk away, you heaved out a heavy sigh, focusing on being in the moment and imagining becoming strong; for yourself. For the babies. For Baekhyun. You could do it-
There was a distant shout calling out for your name. Recognizing the voice of Mrs Lee, you almost fell face-first on the ground from panic when you registered her words.
“Jun wouldn’t stop throwing up!”
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
A/N: Second chapter - done! But Jun :( What do you think about Junho? And Baek was busy, oh well... 
Your feedback for the first part was SO NICE! Thank you to everyone who took the time to write me a comment in any form. Its so, so appreciated! 
See you soon!
P.S. some people took notice AND pointed it out (which made me feel so happyyy!) that Baekhyun and OC seem to talk a lot in oppa/younger girl reference. That stems deeply from the prequel times when OC referred to him only as oppa (no, referring to Baekhyun - or any older male that is not too old, and the situation allows it - as oppa is not wrong as everyone is portraying it out in the "weirded out" culture. Baekhyun is older than OC and now it became a small game for him; after all, he loves that she is younger and he can take care of her and with the addition of triplets, he wants to embrace this a little more. Also, bear in mind they are both quite young!). So when I get to write the prequel, it will only be their oppa/younger-girl relationship! ^^ (which is why also in Captain Bucheon Lee Nari refers to Baekhyun’s character as oppa - same reason).
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romeulusroy · 3 years
Text
Something There (Matt Murdock Drabble)
Character/s: Matt
Word Count: 652
Tag List: I don't think anyone wants to read another therapy fic lol
A/N: I still don't have wifi, but I'm gonna waste data for this... So okay not to get tmi? But I've been having really bad paranoia lately, on the verge of delusions. To the point of being so scared I can't sleep. It's just another symptom of everything going on, and though I've been dealing for a while, it's been really bad lately. I'm trying to get a grip on it, but I'm tired. I really am. And honestly the best therapy sometimes is writing. I hope to be more on track soon, tho. Just know if you're feeling the same way, if you deal with the same thing, you're not crazy, I understand, and I'm always here if you wanna talk. Always. 💜💖💜
Summary: Matt doesn't understand, but he wants to 💕
Gif Credit: @mrssylargray :)
FIC MASTERLIST PART ONE. / PART TWO. / PART THREE.
WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?
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The scream is there, bubbling up your throat, on the tip of your tongue. Muffled by the pillow over your face, by your own hands melted across your mouth, stifling the frustration, the exhaustion, the madness. Rational and irrational identical, playing games because they can, because they like to see the look on your face. The pain, the tears, fragility. You want to yell, but at who? What? The eyes in the windows glowing white, the claws screeching across the glass, the footsteps growing near, the voices, the whispering, the constant hush of the outside world bleeding in, none of its fucking real. None of it. Suddenly the cracked, aching bones of your skull are synonymous with the walls of your home. Something, someone, always trying to get in, get out, you're not quite sure anymore. Sliding off the bed, to the floor, where there is stability, a constant, tucked into a tight ball, wondering when it would all stop.
What it would take to make it stop.
It didn't start like this. Nothing ever did. A passing thought, a fear, something gnawing at your skin, not yet drawing blood. The doors, the windows, all of it locked. Checked. Twice. The curtains drawn, your eyes careful, cautious not to touch the the panes. Something could be there, stating back, waiting and watching. Almost there, but not quite. Not yet. Thorough, you argued, catching him watching. He didn't have to see it to pick up on the littlest of things. The constant click, click, click of the locks, the shuffle of your pacing, the smallest of buzzing as you turned on the bathroom light, letting it stream through the bedroom ever so slightly. An accident at first, you rationalized, denied, too comfortable in bed to turn it off. He didn't say a thing, believing you, wanting to, because he wasn't sure what the truth meant. Not for you, or your future.
And then, it became routine. The locks, the lights, the lies.
When the sun sets, the Terrible Things come out. Safe in the dark, the quiet, the still of the world, when everyone is asleep. You loved him, but you hated him, hated them. They didn't see it, hear it, and that's what made it even scarier. You lay beside him, your fists balled, heart thumping, threatening to break open your ribcage, your breath shallow, quick. You try to match his breathing, you do, but he doesn't know what's coming. You don't grab out like you used to, shaking him from his dreams, insisting someone is trying to get in. The door is locked. An alarm has been set. The door barricaded. A new thing, for safety. Books at first, sliding across the floor. The laundry basket, too full. For once, you were grateful for his disdain for chores. Anything you could find, to keep the door shut. Just in case. In case of what, though?
Matt could feel it. All of it. The flinching, the whimpering, the wincing at the things that weren't there. The rigidity of your body under his touch, reaching out without warning. You weren't sleeping, not more than an hour or two. Pretending to, though. Every time he moved, shifting, readjusting, he could feel you awake, tense, waiting for the sky to fall. He didn't know why. He didn't know why he kicked a pile of books by the door, why you were so sure to keep the lights on for as long as possible, why the very idea of leaving your home, your room, after dark made you choke up, your voice shaking as you tried to find another excuse. Too tired, too busy, too late. How could you explain? How could you tell him the truth when there was no truth to tell? Nothing was safe anymore. Inside the walls, the closet, the shadows, your own head.
Sharing the same bed, and yet world's apart.
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rapha-reads · 3 years
Note
You said you have been readimg some kanej fanfics. Can u pls rec some?
Hi there friend !
Yep, I can do that. I can definitely do that ! Only going to put summaries and authors' tags tho, I don't have the energy to get into it more than that. This is only a first part, I'm dead tired on my feet and about to pass out from exhaustion. Send me another ask tomorrow, or not, I'll do part 2 soon !
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I can definitely do that ! Only going to put summaries and authors' tags tho, I don't have the energy to get into it more than that.
- a love like this by monkkeyslut, 4.3k, Teen and Up, creator chose not to use warnings.
"Inej and Kaz come together in fits and starts."
5 Things / Slow Burn / Mention of Past Traumatic Events / Spoilers for Crooked Kingdom
- I'm crawling on your shore by victoria_p (musesfool), 1.7k, Teen and Up, no warnings.
"It's a good thing they're playing a long game."
Unresolved Sexual Tension / we have to get out of these wet clothes / Post-Crooked Kingdom
- I Don't Ever Trust, But I Still Choose You by cordelianoir, 7.3k, not rated, no warnings.
Kaz had set aside his cane, hat and coat and he looked oddly delicate now, sitting beside her in his shirtsleeves and vest. His body was angled toward her as much as possible on the small sofa, holding her hand and keeping his bitter-coffee eyes trained on her face. His gloves were still on, but somehow she knew that it was due to the relative strangeness of her parents rather than to hide his hands from her. He held her hand so tightly that she could feel the little slits in the fingertips, little absences of contact from the leather covering the rest of her hand. Takes place immediately following the events of Crooked Kingdom. We meet Inej's parents and get some closure for everyone involved.
Crooked Kingdom Coda / Inej's parents are awesome / needed to placated the plot bunny that would not leave me alone / Kaz has trouble expressing his emotions / Parents care about their little girl / Not a lot of action / A lot of talking / but these people need to have some conversations / brief and unexplicit mentions of past non-con/rape / Cannon-Typical Violence / mentions of violence and non-con
- Frisson by stardustsroses, 9.1k, Explicit, no warnings.
Kanej's first time.
post-ck / First Time / Kanej - Freeform / Fluff / Angst / Smut
- kiss me on the mouth (and set me free) by blujamas, 2.9k, General Audience, no warnings.
AKA "Four Times Kaz Thought of Kissing Inej, and One Time He Did"
kaz falling in love / inej going away
- ebb and flood by arbitrarily, 4k, Teen and Up, Creator chose not to use warnings.
"He is wearing the gloves again. It’s the first thing she notices – the black leather like second skin. Inej returns to the Barrel."
- pick a star in the sky by ratherunnecessary, 2k, Gen Audience, Creator chose not to use warnings.
The Wraith is back. The news spread throughout Ketterdam, flooding the streets like a late spring rain. One day, berth twenty-three was empty, as it had been for almost seven months, and then the next day, the neat ship was docked, sails furled against the oncoming winter storms. Post-Crooked Kingdom. Inej and Kaz see each other again after a long time.
inej/happiness (yes) / working through trauma in a healthy way
- devil side by liminal, 3k, Teen and Up, no warnings.
The Wraith is more than a ship, and survivors run from the fray telling stories of a girl allied with the darkness, whose knifework is something unholy, who will stoop to nothing and do anything, everything. In Ketterdam, Kaz feels the wind changing.
- home by northyard, 5.5k, Mature, Graphic descriptions of violence.
When the assassin spoke, his voice was gravelly and strange. "Smart." He mused. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dirtyhands. I've heard a lot about you." His hands drifted to the two knives strapped to his thighs. "And I'm sure it'll be a pleasure to kill you. Most of Ketterdam wants you dead, Brekker." He added, hands deft as he unsheathed his knives. Kaz didn't miss the bulge in the forearms of his sleeves (more knives) nor the two tipped daggers that emerged from the end of his boots. Kaz lifted an eyebrow, waving his hand in a nonchalant manner. "Tell me something I don't know." The assassin grinned. "You've underestimated me," he fired back, teeth bared like a wolf. "Any person who crosses me does not live to tell the tale." Kaz shot back a wolfish grin of his own, tipping his hat to the assassin. "It's a good thing I'm not a person." - or - Kaz gets in over his head and Inej nurses him back to health.
Angst / Hurt/Comfort / PTSD/ Violence / Post-panic attack / nursing Kaz back to health
- Snapshots by vaulkner, 1.3k, Teen and Up, no warnings.
Brick by brick, he thinks, finding some dark humor in how the meaning has changed. Perhaps he should find another way to describe the process. But no, this one serves well—brick by brick, he'll dismantle this wall he's built, leaving himself bare under her gaze.
brief mentions of kiddos / working through trauma / their love is stronger than their past and that's beautiful / implied sexual assault via inej's past / this takes place over a period of 10+ years
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