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mrderofcr0ws · 2 months ago

Text

HEADLOCK

JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES

that was the name written on a gravestone in brooklyn with no body below it since the sergeant had been pronounced dead in 1945.

the body that once belonged to that name was now hydra's most prized possession— but the winter soldier was not the only danger locked away down in the remote siberian facility. you were there, too. a monster made from horrors most refused to believe could be real.

two trained killing machines.

one bound to commands and trigger words.

the other bound to instinct and bloodlust.

it had been a long time since either of you had seen the sun. you could get out with his help in the brief, painful moments of clarity he had. when he answered to that long forgotten name, you could escape together.

but bucky was often buried under that brooklyn headstone-and the winter soldier who slept in the bunk below you nearly every night was a danger to even you.

this is a fic that explores bucky's time in hydra. the content warnings are as follows: torture, manipulation, angst, pain, psychological horror, graphic descriptions and language, poetic comparisons to cannibalism, hurt with minimal comfort at times, stockholm syndrome, smut, degrading, power imbalance, canon divergence. 18+ fic.

bucky x fem!reader (you have a given name in this fic for the sake of making writing easier, but it will be used sparingly)

word count: idk i write on tumblr. (roughly edited)

author note: fluff and smut and filth. you’re welcome. just know i heart you guys and it was time for y’all to eat good…

<- previous part

PART SEVEN —

— TOO LATE

you fought him the whole way.

no matter how much it hurt you bucked, you kicked, you screamed, you thrashed, and you bit.

but he was a iron grip you could not win against.

and he did what he had to.

when you woke up, you could feel soft touches that made the wound on your stomach weep. you winced, turning your head from side to side. your eyes didn’t want to open. when they finally did, you saw the log ceiling. an overhead fan squeaked as it spun round and round and round. you could feel the gentle breeze on your face.

you picked your head up off the pillow. the walls were dark wood. the curtains were thick green fabric drawn shut. the bed below you was a pinch too firm. the duvet was embroidered to resemble autumn leafs. the light on the table by the bed was a warm, pleasant orange.

and there he was.

“what the fuck are you doing?” you asked with a soft annoyance. your head weighed a thousand pounds. you couldn’t keep it up. you wanted him to stop touching the sore spot on your stomach.

“i’m making dinner,” winter said, his voice dripping with a sarcasm that made you roll your eyes. “obviously, i’m making sure you didn’t fucking hurt yourself with all the squirming you did.”

“why?”

he looked up at you as he finished placing the bandages down. he had already checked the wound on your back before you woke up. you met his gaze.

he said nothing.

he didn’t understand your question.

“why am i here?” you looked around the bedroom and saw the fireplace by the window was burning. it made your brows pinch together. “where are we? how the hell did you know where i was?”

“don’t ask stupid questions.” he said as he began to clean up the mess of bloody rags on the bedside table. he made his way to the door.

he’d always find you.

anywhere you went, he’d find you.

“i don’t want to be here.” you whispered.

he glanced at you. “you don’t have a choice.”

you grimaced as he left the room.

and you followed him.

you forced yourself out of bed and hobbled after him— but you stopped in the doorway.

a cabin.

you were in a cabin.

the large kitchen was nearly empty of any sort of food. the glass cabinets revealed nothing but cups and plates. all the lights were off. the only light there was came in from the massive windows. the living room was warm with a fire burning in the fireplace. the dark green sofa was large. there was coffee table in front of it. a deer antler chandelier hung in the dining room above the long table.

he washed his hands off in the sink.

“what is this?” you asked softly.

“a safe house.” he said without looking back at you. “well, it is now.”

“are we still in america?” you asked.

he turned, wiping his hands off on a rag. “canada.”

you swallowed hard and tried to ignore the fear that bubbled in your belly at the sight of him standing there.

you had missed him not too long ago.

now, you watched him like a doe did a wolf.

“why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, tossing down the rag. his brows pinched together.

“like what?” you asked. you tried to drop the tension in your shoulders and keep your expression soft, but it was much harder to do when your heart was racing so hard you were worried it would run right out of your ribs.

you stopped breathing as he approached.

he grabbed the tip of your chin between his metal fingers. “you look different.”

“you try being shot and see if you look as pretty as a bouquet of roses afterwards.” you said, nudging his hand away.

he grabbed your wrist as you tried to turn.

you looked up at him with more hate than you meant.

“a ‘thank you’ would be nice.” he said through a sudden tightness in his throat.

you laughed. it hurt but you laughed. “a thank you? for what?”

“oh, i don’t know,” he said with a look around the cabin. “maybe for bringing you here? maybe for cleaning up that wound? for saving you?”

“i don’t want to be here.” you said without looking at him. if you looked at him, you’d want to be anywhere that he was— and you didn’t want to feel that.

not anymore.

not after everything you’d come to learn.

“what do you mean you don’t want to be here?” he laughed. he actually laughed. he bent down to try to be in your line of sight. “did you hit your fuckin’ head, too? where else would you rather be? where else do you know how to go?”

“don’t be a dick!” you shouted, glaring up at him. you shoved him back a step. “do you think i’m dumb? i know what this is! this is en extraction point! there are hydra agents on their way right now to us!”

his expression fell.

soft.

agonized.

“no one knows we are here, isla” he whispered. he rubbed the spots on his chest you had rammed your hands into.

the tension in your muscles fell with each quick breath but you shook your head, “lair.”

he scowled. “i don’t lie to you.”

you crossed your arms.

he grimaced. “i try very hard not to lie to you.”

“and i try very hard to trust you but certain things make it extremely hard for me to do that.” you said with a venom you didn’t mean, “you follow orders without batting an eye— and sometimes those orders are to hurt me.”

you knew it hurt.

you could see it flash on his face.

“that’s not fair,” he whispered. he began to pace like a wounded dog.

“what you did wasn’t fair.” you said, watching his every move.

“what i did?” he repeated it with all the bitterness in the world. “what i did is what i always do. i save you. that’s what i did today. i saved you.”

you laughed and shook your head. “you didn’t.“

“i did.” he spat. “and you’re lucky i did.”

“you ripped me away from the one thing that was mine!” you exclaimed in a fury of fists. you punched him in arm again and again. “the first thing i’ve ever wanted for myself— the first thing i ever chose and you stole me away from it and expect me to say thank you?!”

he took each hit.

he was hoping you’d hit him harder.

he’d rather you beat him senseless than yell at him.

“i had a real chance to do something for once that did not revolve around what they made me to be!” you cried the words. the tears were hot on your cheeks and your punches lost their power. “that didn’t revolve around you…”

his chest fell.

yours did, too.

it was like neither of you could breathe.

as you stared into his eyes, you could see the hurt.

all of it.

and he broke. you saw it.

something in the middle of his chest chipped away and made it hard for him to look at you.

“go on then,” he said. his voice was weak and raw. he flicked his head towards the door. “go do better. go make whatever choices you want to make. send me a post card while you’re at it.”

“and you?” you asked.

the cap he kept on his temper finally popped.

“what the fuck do you think this is? do you think i’m waiting here to be taken back? you think i went through the trouble of getting you out of shield custody to what? to send us back to hydra?” he asked, an angry red color filling his face as he shouted. “look me in the eye and tell me you think i’d willingly hand myself back over to those monsters so i can tell you that that is the stupidest. fucking. thing. i. have. ever. heard.”

you shied back— but he followed you. he crowded you against the wall and pinned you there. the wall was cold on your back. you could smell the faint minty toothpaste on his breath. you could almost taste the lingering smell of cigarettes. he smoked?

you could see the frustration knit between his brow.

you could see the anguish in his eyes.

“i don’t know what you’re capable of,” you whispered. you looked down at how he had you crowded and cornered. “i don’t know where your loyalty lies.”

“then you’ve been looking at me with your eyes closed.” he hooked a finger under your chin and looked down into your eyes. “because all i’ve ever tried to do is keep you safe.”

he frowned, “safe from everything but me, it seems.”

your breath caught in your throat as he leaned in and rubbed his lips along your cheek. your eyes fluttered closed as he nipped along your jaw. your head tipped back as his lips ghosted your throat.

“i can’t hurt you,” he murmured against the soft, supple skin of your jugular. “and when i do, it’s not me that does. it’s something else. something i don’t want to be anymore.”

“but i can’t be without you.” it pained him to say. it was like a razor across his tongue to get the words out. “i don’t know how to be without you. i don’t want to be without you.”

“i won’t go back to hydra,” he promised. he kissed the soft spot of your neck. “and i won’t ever let you go. not ever again.”

you felt dread coil in your belly.

but the space between your legs cried for him.

you wanted to be free of everything hydra had put you through— but you weren’t sure how far that rabbit hole went. you weren’t sure if that meant him…

you didn’t know how to be without him, either.

you didn’t know if you wanted to learn how to be.

“winter,” you whispered his name.

“don’t call me that.” he said, shaking his head as he cut you off. “don’t call me that here.”

your brows drew together and you looked up at him.

his lips twitched into a frown.

he was awake.

james buchanan barnes.

“how long?” you asked in a whisper.

he knew what you were asking.

how long had he been back.

he hesitated for a moment before finally whispering, “since you got shot.” he shifted his weight and had a hard time looking you in the eye. “when i saw…” he closed his mouth. his throat bobbed as he swallowed and he inhaled sharply.

“when i saw you get hit…and when you said my name…” he closed his eyes and shook his head. “if you had died, i wouldn’t be here now. i’d be dead, too. i can’t bare…i can’t bare not being where you are.” he confessed in a weak, tired voice.

“james,” you braced as you said that name. you expected his fist to curl or his eyes to pinch shut as if you had stabbed him— but he softened. his face. his posture. his breathing.

he looked at you with all the gratitude in the world.

“we can’t stay here.” you said under your breath. “we’re not safe. someone will find us. they will know where we are and when that happens…” you place your hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes. “we need to turn ourselves over to shield.”

he stepped back and let out a low laugh, “shield.”

“yes, listen to me—”

“no, isla, you listen to me.” he said as he pointed a cold, metal finger at you. “whatever deal shield made you, they won’t make with me. i’m the most wanted man in the world— the most dangerous. i am the most blood-stained assassin alive and if i turn myself over, i’ll be killed or locked away for the rest of my life. my sins cannot be atoned. they won’t let me.”

“you don’t know that.” you said, shaking your head. “really, bucky, you don’t know that.”

he laughed with very little humor. “yes, i do.”

“no, you don’t, because you…you have no idea how hard people have been looking for you. you don’t know the extent of their efforts to find you. shield knows that the winter soldier is you, james, but they have had no way to get to you. to liberate you.”

he growled at the word. “liberate.” he scowled at you as if you had burned him by saying it. “that’s bullshit. shield won’t liberate me. if they don’t lock me away or freeze me themselves, i’ll just become a weapon for them, too.”

“and it’s the same with you,” he said, gesturing his arm towards you. “what deal did they cut you, huh? how long until you’re clocking in at shield and deployed on missions again? a couple months after they promised to let you settle down? what? they’ll send you to mandated therapy to help you try and heal from this? did they promise to make this all seem like some bad dream if you joined them?”

“that’s not true.” you said, your throat tightening as your eyes began to burn. “you’re angry and you’re scared, but you don’t know what i know.”

“i doubt that very much.” he laughed bitterly.

“james, i have to go back— i want to go back.” you said softly. you reached for his hand and squeezed it. “whether or not you come with me is your choice. that is something for you to choose. but i choose…” you squeezed your eyes shut as you gathered every ounce of your courage. “i will always choose her.”

“her?” he asked. he looked down at your hands, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. “who?”

“i need you to sit. we need to sit and i need to tell you what i was told at shield.” you said, trying to tug him towards the couch.

he pulled his hand from yours. you looked back at him. he stared at you for a long, quiet moment. you heart sank as you watched his face pale. as he began to crumble.

it struck you right then.

“you know…” you whispered.

he closed his eyes and turned his head away. he shook his head, refusing to say a word.

“you knew.” your voice was harsher than you meant for it to be— but the world caved in. he knew. he already knew. “how long.”

“isla,” he breathed your name and reached for you.

you shoved his hands away. “how long have you known about the kids, james!”

“it’s not about what i know,” he said as he looked down at you. he said the words like a deep, dark secret. “it’s about what i remember.”

“and i remember everything.”

your stomach dropped.

your heart dropped.

your jaw dropped.

it all dropped so fast that your knees nearly gave out. you couldn’t breathe. you could hear your blood rushing through your ears. his hands grasped your arms as you lowered to the floor. he kneeled with you, caressing the back of your head.

“how?” you asked. you sounded helpless. you felt helpless— and you couldn’t look at him. you kept your eyes squeezed shut and your head down.

“i can’t talk about it.” james whispered.

“i want to know how you know!” you shouted, glaring up at him. “i want to know why you never told me! why you never tried to do anything if you knew!”

“i didn’t have choice!” he exclaimed, his face flushing red as anger ran its course through him. “how was i supposed to tell you that you had carried and labored babies when you had no memory of it! when they tried to wipe it all from mine, too!”

you stared up at him with a hard, disturbed expression riddling your face.

it chipped at him to see you look at him like that.

and the tears came rushing out of him.

“please,” he begged. he placed his hand over his heart and let out a soft cry. “believe me when i say that keeping this secret has nearly killed me. it is why i can’t sleep at night. it is why i can’t sleep next to you. not because i don’t want to but because…i feel the guilt all the time. it burns me. it makes me so disgusted with myself that i did that to you— that i couldn’t save you from it.”

“it’s my fault and i couldn’t speak to you about it even if i wanted to because…” he sobbed as he placed his hands on your face, “because if you hated me, i wouldn’t know how to live.”

“james…” you placed your hands on his face and wiped away his tears. “james, it’s not your fault.”

“yes, it is. you don’t know what they did to you. you don’t know what i saw them do.” he cried.

“they put me to sleep, i know.” you said softly. you frowned up at him, assuring him with a nod that you knew. “they had me hooked up to tubes to feed me. they kept me from you. i know, james.”

the pain in his expression worsened and he shook his head, his lips trembling just like his daughter’s did when she cried. your daughter’s.

“the first time they took you, i didn’t know why. i was angry they separated us and so i made it my mission to find where you went. when i found you and i saw you alone by yourself strapped down a table, tubes in your mouth and your nose, and your…your belly round with a baby that i knew was mine…”

“i was there when they would tie you down and burn away the memories after it was all said and done. i was there and i— i couldn’t do anything.” he covered his face with his hand and let out a broken sob. “your belly would still be round, isla, and you’d still be bleeding from birth but they would torture you until you forgot what had happened and why.”

“something broke inside of me. something broke all on its own. something irreparable.” he whispered, rubbing his fingers into where his heart sat beating. “i’ve been awake since then. even when they say the words and even when i’m…i’m not me…i’m still there. i’m watching. i’m always watching— and i remember everything.”

“i tried so hard to spare you from the pain of it. i really, really tried. i refused to touch you. i refused to sleep beside you. i didn’t look at you. i didn’t speak to you. i pretended you didn’t exist even when you were right beside me but that only made it worse.”

“they drugged me and forced me to look at pictures of you. they would strap me down and play videos of people having sex. once i was…ready…they threw me in a room with you and it…it was just…”

“i had no control over myself,” bucky said with tears clinging to his long, pretty lashes. he looked down at you and shook his head. “i knew what i was doing was not right and i knew how it would end— but it felt like my heart would stop if i didn’t have you. and you always lets me have you…”

“i can’t tell you how sorry i am,” bucky murmured as he brushed away tears from his eyes. “even though you never shoved me away or said no, the guilt of it all suffocates me and i…i’ve wanted to tell you but you never remembered. i wanted to tell you but i couldn’t bare the thought that you would resent me if you knew the truth. that you would hate me.”

tears fell from your eyes like torrential rain. they came and came and wouldn’t stop even when you tried to wipe them away. even when he tried, but he was far more patient than you. both his thumbs — real and metal — were gentle as they stroked away your tears. so were his lips. he kissed your forehead and held you close as you cried.

you hugged him tighter. closer. harder.

“i don’t,” you whispered. you whimpered and ran your fingers through his hair, craning your neck to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “i could never…”

“you said it in the hotel room and i felt like i was going to die.” bucky said. he couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh.

“i didn’t mean it.” you promised him, kissing the other corner of his lips.

he soaked in the affection. you felt the tension dissipate from within him little by little. each kiss healed a wound you could not see. he took you into his arms and tugged you into his lap. you hooked your arms around him and buried your face down into the warm, safe crook of his shoulder.

“i wish i could tell you more. i wish i could assure you that i knew where they were but i know nothing of what they did with them. i don’t even know what we had. all i know was that after the third, they never drugged me again and there was never any more of them.” bucky said.

“you don’t know where they are?” you asked, pulling back.

bucky sat forward instantly, caressing your shoulders in his hands as he mistook what you felt for anger. “i’m sorry. i— i tried but i couldn’t find anything on them without risking our safety. your safety— and that has been the most important thing to me since.”

“no, no, no.” you said, waving your hands. you cupped his face and smiled at him. “i do. i know, james. i know where they are. i know who they are.”

his eyes softened. “you…you know?”

“we have two boys. we have two boys and they— well, they’re not boys anymore. their men. grown men. twenty-two and twenty. their names are aurelius and caracalla. they’re named after roman generals or some bullshit because hydra has this big plan called empire and they want to make the most lethal generals the world has ever seen— and they live at the same facility as us. they know who we are. they watch us. caracalla, he’s really smart. he’s so smart and he figured out who we were but his brother—”

bucky pressed his hand to your mouth, his eyes wide. the corner of his lips twitched with a smile. “slower.” he said softly. “tell me slower.”

you took a soft breath and did your best to make sense of the whole mess. you told him exactly how nikta told you. you told him about project empire. about how smart caracalla was. about aurelius making strides to become one of the most lethal assassins alive. you told him how caracalla had figured out who you two were and how aurelius refused to believe it. you told him that they had watched you two since they were boys.

“they look just like you,” you said as you stroked the stubble on his jaw. he met your eyes and seemed hesitant to believe it. it made you smile. “they really do. aurelius is…he is just…i only saw one photo of him but he looks exactly like you.”

he closed his eyes and smiled the faintest bit. he rested his head down on your shoulder and placed his hand on your stomach. he rubbed soft circles as he tried to picture them.

“are they like us?” he asked in a whisper. you could hear the worry.

“they’re strong like you.” you said looking down at him. he seemed to know what you meant.

they were super soldiers— not monsters.

“and the third?” he asked.

you smiled. “we have a daughter and she is so, so beautiful.” you leaned forward and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his lips. “i saw her.”

bucky’s eyes went wide. “you saw her? where?”

“when i was in shields custody, she came to see me. she lives in america. she’s free and she’s…she’s the most wonderful thing in the world, buck.” you told him softly, closing your eyes to conjure the memory of her. you squeezed his shoulders as your heart ached. you whispered in a teary voice, “i want to be with her now…”

you curled into him as he pulled you close. he kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back as you cried. you wished you had a picture of her. of any of them. you wanted to show him— you wanted him to know what you knew and feel what you felt.

you feared he didn’t understand how much love you held for each of them— even if two of them had yet to see you face to face.

even if one of them resented you.

they were yours and you wished that each of them could be with the two of you now.

“what’s her name?” he asked as he pressed delicate kisses to your cheeks. “what does she look like?”

“her name is clover,” you said with a soft, relieved sigh. her name alone was medicine to the hurt her absence left you with. “and she looks like us, i think, but everyone says she looks like me…”

“she must be beautiful then.” bucky said, brushing his warm, calloused hand against your cheek.

you looked up at him as he laced his fingers through your hair. you could feel the relief in his expression. for 22 years, he had not known what happened to them— to your babies.

and you could see something else you only knew how to label because you felt it for the first time when you saw your daughter in the flesh.

“what?” you asked softly.

“i’m grateful that everything…that’s it’s not had bad as i thought it was.” he said under his breath. he took your hand and played with your fingers, pressing his lips into a thin line. “i thought they harmed them like they harmed us. or that maybe they experimented on them but the boys have seemingly held their own. they’re seen as valuable — too valuable to hurt — and that’s a good thing. and to know, too, that our daughter is somewhere safe on top of it all?”

“i’m relieved.” he met your eyes and couldn’t help but sigh. “and i’m happy to see you…happy…”

the word was foreign to the two of you.

but it was true.

you bit back a smile and nodded your head. “yeah.”

he closed his eyes and kissed your hands. “that is what matters most to me. it was hard for me to see you that way and…and i worried that one day if you knew the truth about it all that it would break you away into nothing.”

“i’m okay,” you promised him. you leaned forward and pressed your foreheads together. “clover is okay and we will make sure the boys are one day, too.”

“i know you’re afraid but we need to turn ourselves over to shield, james.” you saw the expression on his face change and you spoke faster. “they may lock us up for a little while but not forever. not if we comply. not if we show we’re not threats.”

“i won’t go belly up for anyone again.” bucky said lowly, nearly speaking through his teeth.

“i’m not asking you to.” you said, cupping his face in your hands. you made him look at you. “i’m only asking that you do as i do and go where i go, james. and i want to go back. i want to see our daughter. i want to be with her.”

“i want you to see her.” you whispered.

he flinched at the idea. “i would frighten her.”

you frowned. “no, you wouldn’t.”

“yes, i would. i frighten everyone. even you.” bucky said, dropping his head down onto your shoulder. “i’m not good with kids. i never was.”

“she’s seventeen, james.”

“now she scares me.”

you smiled as you heard the undertone of humor in his voice. he really was trying— he was just afraid.

“she knows who you are.” you said, lifting his head up off your shoulder. you ran your fingers through his hair and noted the tired, worried expression on his face. you tried to smooth his brow of its furrow. “james buchanan barnes. she knows you just as she knows me— and i know for a fact that she would love you. she already does, buck, because no one has lied to any of our kids about us.”

“it’s us who have been lied to but if we go to shield and we choose peace, we will be free of all the lies. we will be free of the pain and the anguish. it won’t be easy but it’ll be good.” you said softly.

bucky met your eyes. you could see the hesitation. you could almost feel the unease within him.

he had never looked more like a man.

“stay with me here until your wound heals.” he pressed a finger to lips as you began to protest. “once i know you’re okay…” he placed his hands on your shoulders and took a deep breath, nodding as he let it out. “i’ll follow you anywhere, isla. no matter where you go, i’ll go…”

you bit your lip and chewed on it. you glanced around the cabin. you didn’t like feeling on edge. not when he gave you no reason to— but part of you would never trust him wholly.

you had every reason not to.

but you wanted to.

“just us…” you said softly as you met his gaze.

he knew what you meant.

and he took no offense.

“no one knows we are here. it’s just us.” he promised.

you held out your pinky.

his brows drew together and he tipped his head. he put two and two together the way it had when clover had stuck her pinky out at you. he carefully wrapped his finger around yours and promised you.

“i’m happy to see you, james.” you whispered.

he smiled and let out a soft laugh. “i’m happy to see you, too. i’ve been waiting a long time for you to finally wake up, isla.”

“i’m here now.” you promised him. you took his hand and placed it over your heart. “i’m right here.”

he smiled to himself first and then at you. he laughed under his breath before he leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. “i love you.”

i love you.

those three words set you on fire.

“what?” you asked, your face going as red as the fire burning in the living room.

“i love you.” bucky said again, slower this time. he let you hear each word roll off his tongue.

you consumed him in a kiss that could’ve melded you into one. the heat and the passion burned your tongues as you grasped his face in your hands and kissed him with everything you had. he clutched you close like the sin of greed come to life and kissed you desperately.

“i love you,” you whispered it into his mouth. saying it made your heart race. it made you blush more and more.

once you said it, you couldn’t say it enough.

“i love you.” you panted as he fumbled with the belt around his waist. your pants were already off. your shirt. you were completely bare and a trail of your clothes led to the living room.

you kissed the side of his face and tugged at his shirt, urging him to hurry. “i love you, james.”

“i know,” he breathed. he shrugged his trousers down to his knees and grasped your waist. “i know you do, baby, and i love you, too.”

you winced as he tried to lay you back on the couch. his eyes popped open and sense seemed to rush back into him. he looked down at the bandages wrapped around your lower belly and his brows drew tight together.

“maybe we shouldn’t.” he said with an expression of reverent hesitance.

“softly,” you whispered as you slipped down onto your knees in front of the couch. you rubbed your hands along the cushions. you looked up at him with a smile that disarmed him all over again. “just be gentle.”

he nodded dumbly.

he settled in behind you on his knees and cupped your waist in his hands. you dug your nails into the cushions as he kissed up the length of your spine. he was mindful of the wound. the kisses he placed there were extra soft. you looked over your shoulder and watched as he pulled off his shirt.

a tremble ran through you as he slipped his hands underneath you and ran his fingers up and up and up. he caressed your breasts in his palms. the warmth of his chest sizzled against your back and his lips ghosted soft kisses to the nape of your neck. it made you whimper. you arched back into him despite the pain. you could feel the heavy weight of his cock against your thighs.

“james,” you breathed his name like a plea.

it made him hard and he answered to it, “hm?”

“please,” you begged, your voice tangled within your throat. you nudged him with your ass.

a soft gasp escaped you as he grabbed your face and turned your head, meeting you halfway to kiss you. you reached back to grab a fist full of his hair and moaned against lips as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your slit. he teased you and you turned into a puddle below him.

“james.”

“i know, my love, i’m coming.”

a sharp, soft moan escaped your lips as he eased the whole of himself into you. every inch made you brace and brace and brace— grasping the cushions and biting into the soft fabric to muffle yourself. you were so used to having to be quiet. the both of you were. even now — alone together with no one else around — the two of you swallowed noises of all kinds.

“fuck,” he grunted, his voice heavy and husky in his throat. he rubbed his warm, calloused hand over the mounds of you ass and watched the way you took him to the hilt. those pretty lower lips of yours wrapped around him so tight. “i have to fuck you like this more. christ, you look so good.”

all you could manage was a pathetic little nod and murmur a soft little ‘please.’

that ruined him.

he had never been so vocal.

as he clutched you to him and rutted his cock in and out of you, he moaned into your ear. he dragged his lips along your spine as hot, heavy grunts escaped his lips. he thrusted deep but his tempo was slow and he was gentle.

you could’ve killed nick fury for shooting you.

you hadn’t given it a second thought until now.

all you wanted was for him to ruin you.

but he found other ways to do such a thing.

“good girl,” bucky rasped, watching you slide yourself back and forth on his cock. he had the stupidest grin on his face. “just like that.”

“this is so fucking humiliating…” you whispered, your face as hot as the fire behind you.

“nah,” he gave your ass a firm smack and licked his teeth. “this is fucking hot.”

you tucked your face into the safety of the sofa cushions to hide your embarrassment.

you were embarrassed because you liked it so much.

it was easy to find your own pace in a way that didn’t hurt— and he felt so good. he was as hard as a rock. you could feel the veins decorating his shaft. it made you tremble to feel them slide in and out. you fisted the cushions as he slid two fingers around where you were connected, collecting the wet mess on the tips of them.

your eyes shot open as he grazed a hole you had no intention of letting him touch.

you gave yourself whiplash turning your head over your shoulder. you swatted his hand away from you ass. “absolutely not!”

“it’s staring at me.” bucky said with a devilish little smile. “it wants me to say hi.”

you tried your best not to laugh— but you couldn’t.

“don’t look at it.” you whispered.

he frowned. “i want to.”

“i’ll stop if you don’t.” you demanded. it was half-hearted and not very threatening. not when you were nearly pouting.

“you’ve had three of my kids and i can’t finger your ass?” bucky asked, cocking one of his dark brows.

he was teasing you.

and you played into the bit.

it was nice to be able to joke with each other.

“i recall no such events.” you said with a shrug.

“shall i make it four?” bucky asked, thrusting into you soft and slow. he caressed your hips and bent over you to meet your eyes. “you’ll remember a fourth.”

“maybe one day,” you murmured as your lips grazed his. you pressed a soft kiss to them. “but i want a ring first, mr. barnes.”

“fuck, woman, you kill me.” he grunted against your lips. he gripped your waist in his hands and tucked his face down into the crook of your neck. he rutted into you like a jack rabbit, fingers dipping down to caress your clit. “i’ll give you the fucking world if you want it, baby. anything. i’ll give you anything.”

“i just want you, bucky.”

“i want you, too, darlin’.”

— ☆ —

you should’ve been in a prison cell.

you should’ve been speaking to a psychiatrist.

instead, you were watching him chop wood from where you sat on the porch. with a warm cup of tea in your hands to keep the cold from hurting your fingers, you watched him swing down the axe and cut up the wood to refill the baskets by both fireplaces.

five days had passed.

all you were to focus on was healing that wound and he would handle the rest until it was time to go back to shield. that was the deal you had made.

you let your guard down.

for as long as you could remember, you kept tight, untouchable walls around you. nothing got in or out. you trusted no one. not even him. not fully, at least.

now, it was different.

you trusted him more than anyone.

and you loved him, too.

you had loved him for a long, long time, hadn’t you?

“nice work,” you said with your smile resting on the rim of the warm mug. “you look good doing that.”

he gave you a quick flex that made you laugh. “can i have a sip? i’m thirsty.”

“it’s hot,” you warned him as you held the cup out for him to take.

he took it with his metal hand and touched the rim cautiously to his lips, testing the heat. he took a small sip and then another. and once more. he handed it back to you with a smile.

“thanks, pumpkin.” he said. he headed back down the steps and glanced over his shoulder at you.

you pursed your lips. “that’s a six out of ten.”

“yeah, i’m not too sure how i feel about that one.” he said as he picked up the axe. “my favorite is still doll.”

“you’re straight out of the 40’s, aren’t you?” you said with a teasing smile.

he chuckled, “so are you, granny.”

you eyes popped open and you scoffed out a laugh. “you know, i found out that you’re older than me! so fuck you!”

“yeah?” he cocked an eyebrow as he glanced over at you. he readied a piece of wood for chopping. “by how much?”

“two years.” you said.

“ppffft,” he laughed. “that’s nothing. if i’m old then you’re old, too.”

you stuck your tongue out at him.

he stuck his back out at you.

the days were easy. you sat on the porch together and watched wild animals crest the tree line of the clearing where the cabin was. you watched the snow fall as it flurried one afternoon. you sat by the fireplace and he taught you how to play his favorite card game. you snuggled on the sofa underneath a blanket and did your bests to try and understand what played on the tv— but he became too soft and too warm. you always fell asleep curled up with him.

your nights were like the ones you always shared.

you took him to bed every night. kisses and soft moans were shared. your legs tangled. the sheets were half off the bed. the springs creaked and the headboard tapped against the wall. he let you drink from him if you asked for it— and you didn’t feel ashamed to anymore. it made you feel better.

you had a small bubble of peace.

and you savored it.

with each day that past, supplies in the cabin dwindled but the two of you braved the nearby town. shopkeepers welcomed the two of you with bright smiles. you kept conversations minimal, pretending to only speak little english. you spoke in romanian as you both tried to decide what to get for food.

the supermarkets were nothing like the markets you remembered going to as a girl.

“what is this?” you asked, picking up the package of small, bright yellow cake.

“that’s at twinkie,” james said with a wide smile. he grabbed the bread off the shelf and placed it down in the basket. he took the small treat from you and laughed. “damn, i haven’t seen one of these in forever.”

“is it any good?” you asked, smiling at the expression of almost child-like wonder on his face.

“nah, this shit sucks.” he laughed. he smiled down at you. “i liked them when i was a kid but they’re really not all that good.”

“let’s get it anyways,” you said, putting it into the basket. “i want to try it. i’ve never had one.”

“never?” he asked, his eyes going wide.

“i didn’t grow up where you grew up. my town was really, really small. we didn’t have stuff like this at the time.” you reminded him.

“oh, yeah, that’s right. sometimes i forget that you’re not american, too.” he chuckled.

you enjoyed going into town with him. despite the snow and the cold canadian chill in the air, you felt warm. he made you laugh. he made you blush, too, you don’t know how he did it but when you weren’t looking, he’d boughten you flowers.

you had never been more content.

it was tempting to stay here forever with him.

you laughed as the two of you attempted to cook. you both burned things on purpose— too afraid to have anything be undercooked. you didn’t know what spices to use. your knife skills were impeccable but somehow everything you cut up still looked funky. the finish product hardly ever looked appetizing but it was good.

even when it was burned it was good because it was yours and you had both tried your best. you ate at the table with a vase full of flowers in the center. for dessert, you shared the twinkie.

it wasn’t half bad…

you enjoyed licking the filling off the corner of his mouth more than the actual cake itself.

he did, too.

— ☆ —

“look what i found,” bucky said as he returned from the basement. some of power had gone out and he’d ventured down there to try and fix it. something about a blown fuse. it took a bit of fiddling but he got the lights to come back on.

you turned, resting your chin on the back of the sofa. “what’s that?”

“wine.” he said, holding it out for you to take.

you took the bottle and rubbed your thumb across the dusty wax seal. you grinned to yourself. you handed it back to him. “did you see the date?”

he lifted the bottle closer and read the fancy print. “1917.” he said. he looked down at you and furrowed his brow. “what’s significant about that?”

“do the math.” you said, turning back around towards the tv. a particularly interesting cartoon was playing about a little mouse and a cat who didn’t like him.

you could hear him murmur to himself as he shuffled around the kitchen. and finally the “oh! it’s my birthday. ha! cool.” came and it made you giggle. when he came back and took a seat beside you, he had two glasses wine. he handed you one that you took with widened eyes.

“thank you,” you whispered.

“of course,” he said with a smile.

you watched as he swirled and wine and gave it a sniff. you did same, mimicking his movements. it smelled bitter and sour. you watched him as he took a sip. his face was vague for a moment and then his eyebrows raised.

“yeah, that’s alright.” he said with a nod.

you hesitated to take a sip.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, glancing your way. he took another sip of his wine.

“i’ve never had anything to drink before.” you admitted with a sheepish smile.

his eyes widened. “what? never?”

you shrugged, “not that i can recall. memories from before are all really hard to grasp. it’s like looking through foggy, cracked glass and outside is dark. as far as i know, i’ve never been drunk.”

“you don’t have to drink that if you want. here, give it to me.” bucky said, extending his hand.

you cradled the glass of deep red wine and shook your head, your lips curling into a shy smile. “no, no. i’ll drink it, i’ll drink it.”

“go on then, little lady.” bucky said with a smirk.

you pulled your knees a bit closer to you as you turned to face him on the couch. you held your glass out towards him. he dipped his head and clinked his glass with yours.

“cheers.”

you brought the glass to your lips as he did and you both took a sip. the wine was tart and it filled your mouth with saliva. you swallowed hard. your face pinched as you felt the small, simmering burn in the back of your throat. you made a face and he laughed.

“no good?” he asked, watching the way you seemed to scowl at the glass.

“it’s fine…” you tried to lie.

“you don’t have to drink it, love.” bucky said as he scooted closer to you. he swirled his glass and watched the way the firelight reflected off the color. “wine isn’t my first choice, either. there is no rum. i checked when i found this.”

“i’ll drink it. you poured it for me and i’ll at least drink this.” you said with a small nod.

he smiled at you and you smiled back at him.

you two finished the bottle.

and then the second one he found.

you cried laughing on the couch as he said anything and everything that came to mind. he was himself. all chatty, flirty, and loud— and you loved every second of it. he talked about how much he fucking hated karov and it made you laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe.

“he looks like a fucking— yknow one of those ugly mutty dogs with the smooshed faces?” bucky asked, gesturing to his nose.

“no,” you giggled and shook your head. that was the truth. you couldn’t recall the last time you had seen any dog let alone one like that. “and he’s dead. he looked. looked.”

“right. thank god. well, he looked like one of those little stinky mongrels and i’ve never been so tempted to punt something so far.” bucky wound his arm back and whistled as he pretended the tip of his finger was karov flying away.

“nikta is ugly too.” bucky grimaced as he finished off the last of the wine in glass.

you were quick to change the subject. you said the first thing that came to your drunken mind seeing him manspread on the couch with one arm over you. “i really want to suck your cock.”

bucky turned his head and seemed to have trouble focusing on you. the wine dizzied his head as much as it dizzied yours. he glanced down at his crotch and let out a low, breathy laugh. the instant swell in his pants was impressive.

“well, you know my answer.” he said with a cheeky smile that made your insides flutter.

your palms got sweaty instantly and your face reddened more than it already was. you drew a sharp breath as you looked down at the bulge in his pants. you swallowed hard at the idea of it being in your mouth. you had licked the tip and eaten his cum before, but you had never taken him into your mouth.

“go on,” bucky murmured as he pressed a soft kiss to your ear. “it’s all yours, baby. go ahead.”

you carefully slipped down onto your knees in front of him. it was intimidating to see him sat the way he was. it made your blood hot and your heart shudder. his broad, beautiful shoulders and big arms were hugged by the black shirt he wore. the way his legs were spread and his thighs filled out his pants. that smug look on his face…

god, you wanted him.

you always fucking wanted him.

you dragged your mouth over the rough material of his pants. the black material caught your lip, revealing those sharp white teeth he adored so much. he tensed as you placed your hands on his thighs and pressed soft, lingering kisses to the swell trapped within his pants.

“for fuck sake,” he sighed he watched you. his cock twitched under the layers of his clothes. “you are so fucking sexy.”

“you’ll have to tell me how to do it…” you whispered as you traced the edge of his belt with your nails. “i don’t want to mess it up.”

“you won’t,” he whispered, his expression softening. he smiled down at you and spoke so sweetly. “you don’t have to do too much, either. you could give it a couple kisses and lick the tip once and i’d be more than satisfied.”

you tried to suppress your smile.

he helped you slip his pants off. they sagged at his knees and the sight of that made you wet. you ran your hands over his hairy, pale thighs and fought the urge to bite.

you didn’t even want his blood.

you just wanted to bite him.

his pupils blew wide as he watched you wrap your hand around the base of his cock. it twitched in your hand and you smiled. it was hot to the touch and rock solid. he was lengthy and wide— and he tasted salty and savory like a man.

you licked the tip of his cock as precum leaked out from the slit. you sighed at the taste. you really had grown to enjoy it. his hips shuddered as you slid the tip of your tongue over the slit.

“yeah, yeah, yeah.” he murmured, tilting his head back. “you could do that the whole time if you wanted to. i’ll still cum just as hard.”

“buck?” you asked softly.

“yeah?” he looked down at you.

“shut up.”

“yes, ma’am.”

you gathered your courage and took a sharp breath before opening your mouth and taking the tip inside. you heard his breath shudder. you wrapped your lips around his cock and did your best to keep your teeth off him as you took as many inches as you could. when he neared your gag reflex, you tensed and didn’t push it anymore.

he was mouthing words to himself when you looked up at him. with his eyes pinched shut and his head tipped back, he was the closest he’d get to heaven right now.

it made you feel confident.

you bobbed your head up and down, memorizing the veins on the bottom of his shaft with your tongue. you weren’t sure how to swallow the spit that built up in your mouth. you couldn’t help it as it spilled out from the sides of your mouth and drizzled across his dark hair like frosting on a cake.

“that’s it,” he whispered, his fingers lacing through your hair. he watched you through hooded eyes and took broken, jagged breaths. “make a mess all over me, baby, i love it.”

you braced yourself as he grasped you by your hair. you couldn’t help it. as you looked up at him, your face burned at you met his eyes. he cocked a curious eyebrow at you. you gave a small nod.

a quiet, muffled gasp escaped you as he stood up. he wiped the corners of your mouth his his thumbs before framing your face. you tried to relax as quickly as you could as he pulled his hips back. your hands curled into fists and your eyes squeezed shut as he slid back in and you sucked on the length of him.

“perfect,” he moaned. “so, so, so perfect.”

you whimpered around his cock. it made him twitch in the back of your mouth. he kept a hold on your face as he worked his cock in and out. you learned quick that he liked when you moved your tongue in time with him. it made his eyes roll back.

“can i go deeper?” he asked in a whisper. he looked down at you. “i want to see you take the whole thing.”

“mm,” you nodded.

he smiled, “that’s my girl.“

your hands flew to his thighs as he grabbed a tight hold on your hair. he had control— and it made you uncontrollably wet. you could feel as the wet spot in your underwear spread all the way up to your clit. you braced yourself— but nothing could’ve prepared you for the urge to gag as intensely as it came.

the humiliating sound got stuck in your throat as his cock slipped down into it. you dug your nails into his thighs and tried not to cough, your chest heaving.

“good girl,” he praised, stroking the top of your head. he brushed his thumb across your face and looked down at you took him to the hilt. your nose was nearly buried in his happy trail. “take it, my love.”

you let out a soft gasp as he pulled out to the tip. you breathed hard— until you couldn’t. he slid back in and went straight into your throat. you tensed in an attempt to brace yourself but again, you couldn’t help but gag. the sound humiliated you. it made your face burn and your blood burn hot. way too hot.

“teeth,” he hissed, giving your face a soft pat.

you hadn’t noticed you grazed him with your fangs as you tried to swallow. he pulled out and you panted. tendrils of spit clung to your lips and his cock. you were quick to lick it all clean.

“sorry,” you said breathlessly. “it’s— it’s hard to take it all and not feel like i need to cough.”

“you’ve done such a good job, baby.” he said with a smile, wiping off your lips. “it’s going to take practice and you’ll get better the more we do it.”

it was such a foolish thing to be happy over.

you’d do it more.

it made you smile.

you would’ve kept going but he didn’t let you. instead, he pulled his pants back up without bothering to button or belt them. he bent down and scooped you up. you hesitated to kiss him— not wanting him to taste his cock on your lips.

he didn’t care about something like that.

he kissed you deeply as he laid you down on the edge of the bed gently. you moaned into his mouth as he placed his hands on your breasts and folded them through the thin fabric of your shirt. it made your nipples hard. you licked into his mouth to entice his tongue. he slid his against yours, swirling them together as you shared saliva.

when he broke away from the kiss, you expected him to get on top of you.

your brows raised as you watched him disappear.

he kneeled down, slipped his fingers into the waistband of yours pants, and tugged them off.

oh, yes!

you squirmed helplessly, nodding before he got the chance to ask. you spread your legs and whimpered.

bucky’s grin was entirely too charming.

he placed his hands on your hips and leaned forward. a long, slow stripe of saliva graced you as he licked up your pussy. a shudder ran through you. his mouth was hot. so hot. and it felt good.

“oh, god…” you breathed, grasping the bedsheets below you.

he hummed happily against your pussy and it made you shiver. he licked over every inch. between every fold. he licked you clean of the mess you’d made only to make a bigger mess of you himself. your eyes popped open and you squirmed as his long, calloused middle finger slid into you.

you moaned as he met your gaze, his lips brushing across your clit. you were gone from that moment on. your head tipped back and your back arched off the bed. you couldn’t feel the pain of your wound— all you felt was him. his breath rolling across you. his finger working in and out of you, curling against the sweet spot inside you. his tongue drawing shapes on your clit.

letters, you realized.

he was writing his name on you.

JAMES

you fisted the sheets and writhed as the coil in your belly wound tighter and tighter and tighter.

BUCKY

“please,” you gasped. you could see stars dancing behind your eyes lids. “please— please!”

BARNES.

he dotted his sentence with a period and it sent you tipping over the edge. stars shot through you from your head to your toes. you could feel the pleasure in your spine. in the nape of your neck. in your nipples. you trembled as your orgasm rattled through your very bones. you moaned, crying out his name.

if there was anyone living nearby, they would’ve known his name was james.

maybe they would’ve thought it was ‘james james james’ the way you kept repeating it.

you huffed softly as you tried to catch your breath. you laid a limp mess, a small layer of sweat glistening on you in the soft orange lamplight. you opened your eyes as you felt him get between your legs. instantly, you hook your thighs around his hips and grabbed his face.

he kissed you like it was the only thing he had been put on the earth to do. he held your chin between his fingers and let you taste yourself on his tongue. it made you moan. he made you moan as he pressed the head of his cock against you and eased himself in inch by inch.

“i love you,” you breathed into his mouth. cupping his cheeks, you opened your eyes just enough to see him. “i love you so— so much. so fucking much.”

he smiled, his arm slipping underneath your neck to clutch you close. he pressed a soft kiss to your lips and worked his cock into you nice and slow, letting you feel every inch of his devotion. “i love you, too.”

you wrapped your arms around him as he thrusted into you. with it having been nearly three weeks, your injury was far more forgiving to anything that grazed it. he was careful but he was not gentle. his hips snapped into yours with enough force to rattle the bed. your tits bounced with each motion and it drew whimpers from your lips as you looked up into his eyes.

he loved to look at you.

he could look at you forever.

but he needed to kiss you.

he groaned against your lips. it was impossible for him to keep his tongue in his own mouth. he needed to taste you. he needed to feel you moan. he need to breathe what you breathed. it was an insatiable feeling that made pressure build in his groin.

“i’m close,” he panted. he rested his forehead down against yours and thrusted once more. twice. his eyes pinched shut. “fuck—”

“i want it.” you whispered.

“we can’t have a fourth right now, doll.” he tried to tease despite the struggle, “we’re fugitives.”

“we won’t,” you promised. you pressed a kiss to his parted lips and met his eyes as he opened them. “please…i want you.”

he bit down on his lip and let out a low groan as he resolve cracked right in half. “you’re too damn hard to say no to, darlin’.”

victory was sweet.

you cupped his face in your hands and kissed him with a feverish passion that made both your faces hot. he wrapped his arms tighter around you, his nails scraping lightly against your scalp. he moaned against your lips as his movements grew sloppy. his hips shuddered and you felt the muscles in his stomach spasm.

bucky came hard inside you.

sweat clung to the both of you. it was nearly impossible to draw breath from how hard you were panting. he dragged his thumb across your cheek as he stared down into your eyes. as his thumb grazed your lips, you gave it a soft kiss.

“that was baby number four.” he laughed as he said it, not able to keep a straight face.

you laughed, too, and rolled your eyes at him. “you’re such a fucking idiot, james.”

“you love it.” he said with a smug smile.

“i definitely love something…” you whispered, lifting your head up to kiss him.

“oh?” he asked softly, dipping his head down.

you purred as you kissed him, “mhm…”

— ☆ —

you slept the best beside him.

with his arms wrapped around you and his face buried into the back of your neck, you felt the safest. and these days, he must’ve, too, because bucky slept more than you had ever seen him sleep. the sun would come up and the morning hours would roll passed into the afternoon when the two of you would finally open your eyes.

but he was out of bed before you were.

you stretched under the sheets and buried your face down into the pillows. you yawned softly. you could’ve slept all day. you wanted to. your head was foggy with hangover and your stomach wasn’t too happy with you, but you were thirsty.

you got up and got dressed. on top of the dresser, you saw the pack of cigarettes. his excuse was that he had to finish the pack since he stole it. if he didn’t, it really was money lost for that poor gas station he robbed.

you couldn’t argue with that logic.

but james hadn’t touched a single one since he got you back.

you pulled on a pair of pj pants that didn’t belong to you. they were fuzzy green and black plaid. at first, you didn’t know how anyone could enjoy something so warm and ticklish— but you’d never put on anything more comfortable. you slid on the shirt you wore yesterday.

there wasn’t much going on for clothes so you both made the most of it out of what you had and what the people who owned this cabin did.

“hey, buck, do you know if there is any medicine around here? i have a really bad— headache.” you breathed out the last word.

sitting on the couch with the barrel of a sniper pressed to his head, bucky’s expression was unreadable. you could see his jaw clench as you stopped in your tracks. holding the gun behind him, a tall, lean man with face you didn’t think you’d be seeing for a long time.

“good morning, weapon-v,” aurelius said, his eyes skimming the whole of you in search for any weapons. his voice was like ink, noxious and smooth. “we’ve been waiting for you to wake up.��

you glanced around, assessing the situation. something caught your eye. on the kitchen counter, the block of knives was only a hand’s-length away. you took a step towards the kitchen.

“ah, ah, ah. too late for that.” aurelius whispered with a crooked smile. he pressed the end of his gun against bucky’s face. “i won’t hesitate to put a bullet in his head if you step any closer towards those knives, weapon-v.”

you took a step back towards the bedroom.

aurelius flicked his head. “move them.”

“i got it. don’t get your nuts in a twist.”

you turned your head as you heard his raspy voice and the knife block scrape across the table. your eyes went wide and your mouth popped open into a small, pained expression. holding his own gun with his sights set on the back of your head— was caracalla.

“hi, mama.” he whispered, his lips curling into a wobbly downturned smile. “merry christmas. we came down the chimney.”

“calla, cut the shit.” aurelius snapped.

the younger’s face pinched with soft sadness but he blinked it away. he swallowed hard as he met your eyes, his throat bobbing. he cocked his gun and kept it pointed at your head.

you could see the regret on his face.

you wanted to do something— give him some sort of assurance but your ears perked.

like a soft distant whisper, you could hear it. the crumbling audio came from aurelius’ jacket pocket. you could hear the recording.

“longing, rusted, furnace, daybreak…”

your expression fell and the tension in you died away.

aurelius let out a low laugh.

he enjoyed the look on your face.

an eerily similar, devilish grin to bucky’s spread across his lips. “yeah, sorry about this.” he patted his coat pocket. “we couldn’t take any chances.”

“soldier,” aurelius said, pulling back the gun.

bucky’s face twitched and you saw the light leave his eyes. he turned his head and looked back at the young hydra general. “ready to comply.”

“the two of you get dressed.” aurelius said, flicking his head towards the bedroom. he looked at you and his face pinched with distaste. “we’re leaving.”

i hope you all enjoyed. please note that i posted a fic update announcement that is linked on my masterlist. updates will be slow from here on out for a bit because i have to be a scholar…boo…regardless, i hope you guys enjoyed! i also decided to post my personal fc’s for buck and the readers kids. again, feel free to fancast aurelius, caracalla, and clover as anyone you want. if you wanna check that out -> click here.

as always, i hope you guys enjoyed reading.

much love,

- 🐦‍⬛

taglist: @homiesexual-or-homosexual @carbonnite-copy @strangunddurm @normanreedus-blog @valckenaux @buckyswife106 @itsmadamehydra @unicornqueen05 @escapefromrealitylol @xxheartspadexx

#headlock bucky barnes #bucky #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky fanfic #the winter soldier x you #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel #mrderofcr0ws

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noodle-is-unstable · 7 months ago

Text

JJK Characters and their Readers Vibes

Ft ~ Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, Toji Fushiguro, Ryoumen Sukuna, Choso, Takuma Ino, Shiu Kong, Uraume, Yuki Tsukumo, Shoko Ieiri, Mahito

Synopsis ~ Just the personalities/how I envision the reader for each character

Content Warning ~ None? Idk

Original Ask

Gojo ~

Needs a soft love. Reader is someone that reassures him CONSTANTLY that they still love him and don't find him annoying. He needs someone that will match his gooey and over the top love style. Someone, soft, patient, and just as obsessed with him as he is to them. Unmatched Co-dependency and go everywhere together. If they aren't breathing the same air they're too far away

Geto ~

He needs a challenge. Reader will push back and put up a bit of a fight, especially when he's being hard headed. He loves with his whole heart and excepts the same. Some bullying vibes on both ends but it's more loving teasing. It isn't necessary to always be doing the same thing but there's normally some for of physical contact. Grabbing his shirt, his feet under your legs, fingers just barely touching, just some form of connection

Nanami ~

He wants someone level headed but goofy. Reader is the only person that keeps a smile on his face and makes him laugh. Reader become his world, his star, what his day revolves around and they feel the same. He wants someone he can peacefully co-exist with. Talking, touching, and being around each other 24/7 isn't needed, it's enough to just be in the same area.

Toji ~

He needs someone so insane, he's the normal one. Not judging him for his line of work because Reader does the same thing. If he's hard headed they're a brick wall. Reader looks at him like he's the only person in the world though. He never has to get jealous because they only have eyes for him. He is the light of their life, but Toji feels the same. Secretly co-dependent. Will never actually say it but if either gets up to go somewhere the other silently gets up to follow. The only time either leaves the house alone is for work and even then they work together a lot

Sukuna ~

Badass. His world revolves around strength and only the strong are worthy, Reader is strong. Reader has no fear and told him to fuck off the first time they met. He tried to kill the reader but just couldn't? Has been obsessed with them ever sense. They are warm, soft and kind until something happens and it's like a switch flicks and they are just as crazy as Sukuna. Also completely unbothered by his cannibalism or murdering. Has no desire to "fix him" will just match his freak. They spend most of the day apart but the second they're together again they are trying to fuse together with how close they are

Choso ~

He needs someone patient and kind. He's new to the world and needs someone that can slowly explain thing or answer his questions as he learns. Reader never so much as raises their voice even if they are pissed at Choso. Soft, loving and delicate. Reader treats him like a wet cat and will handle him with care, in return he gives unconditional love. They would live in each others skin if possible and are always going everything together. Complete package deal

Ino ~

Best friends turned lovers vibes. Reader and Ino may have been friends since childhood or just met a week ago but it's like they've known each other forever. Sarcasm and bullying are their love language while also constantly being obsessed with each other. Completely just two best 'bro' friends with benefits and love. They don't need to be together all the time but they just like it. They're each others safe space and peace and would rather game together than be anywhere else

Shiu ~

He likes them crazy. He didn't think he did until he met Reader though. The way Reader is completely and unapologetically themselves, even if they are insane, melts his heart and hardens his cock. Reader has no filter, if they think it, they say it and he likes the fact he doesn't have to play games with them. He also likes that Reader is his scary dog privilege. He can sleep soundly knowing the world would burn down and world war 3 would start before he was ever hurt. Emotionally or physically. They aren't in touching distance at all times but he knows Reader always has his location, or some form of eyes on him

Uraume ~

They need someone that will gently pull them out of their comfort zone. They need someone that understands they aren't the most expressive person and won't take offense to it. Slight sun and moon opposite vibes. If Uraume won't talk, reader will talk for them. Reader is absolutely a "They said no pickles" kind of person for Uraume. Reader likes to push Uraume but not in a way to make them uncomfortable. Uraume acts like they don't need or want affection but Reader knows better and will always pull Uraume onto their lap or hold their hand.

Yuki ~

Likes a bit of a challenge. Someone that will sass her and won't let her get away with everything. Reader takes charge in the streets but Yuki is in charge in the sheets. Reader will actively be arguing with Yuki with their head in her lap as she plays with your hair. Adventurous and up for anything they are chasing sunsets together and jumping into the ocean with their clothes on. They don't need each other but they want each other. They enjoy being close but can also spend weeks apart

Shoko ~

Reader is Gojo coded. Loud, excitable, bubbly ball of energy. Reader is probably best friends with Gojo actually. Reader and Shoko balance each other out. Shoko is more level headed, calm and it takes a lot to get a reaction. Reader is childish, excitable and gives big reactions to everything. She likes the excitement and unpredictability reader brings while she brings reader back down to earth and keeps them grounded. Reader will always want to be touching and holding Shoko, she's indifferent to it but enjoys their time together

Mahito ~

He is a little menace and needs someone that will keep him in line and put him in his place. He's low-key scared of reader but he likes the fear. Reader comes off as standoffish but is just very cool and level headed. Reader gives Mahito a soft, patient, gentle love but comes off very monotone and indifferent. Reader is very calculated and enjoys the chaos Mahito brings to everything. Mahito will do anything for Reader. ANYTHING. Mahito would live in Readers skin if he could without killing them. Reader isn't vocal about it but cares very deeply for him and is working on changing the world for him. Also enjoys the fact he acts like their shadow and follows them around

#jjk #jjk smau #jjk toji #jjk choso #jjk geto #jjk gojo #jjk ino #jjk nanami #jjk shiu #jjk sukuna #jjk uraume #jjk yuki #jjk shoko #jjk mahito #jjk x reader #jjk headcannons #jjk headcanons

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binniesbooks · 10 months ago

Note

hi my fayebae~ since u said u loved the car clip of soobin, here’s one for u to write ur heart away!! (U can of course choose whether u wanna do it or not no pressure!! Im just sending since its at the top of my mind rn, ahh n im sorry for so many request i usually dont send anyt in but🥹i didnt think it would be this fun to see my request coming to life uk but i digress)

idk whether u would like this but:

bf!soobin x gf!brat!reader

they got into an argument and stuff but soobin who still loves his gf comes n picks her up after (cheerleading?prac of some sorts)

Otw home… reader gives the cold shoulder to soob, not talking thru out the entire journey? So soob decides to take a detour n drives to somewhere that doesnt have many ppl looking in the night.

They start talking n tried to resolve whatever their fighting abt, one thing led to another, well reader is giving him a bj!!(the rest of the smut is up to u!!)

inspired by that soob clip of course~ have fun love💗

REVVED UP EMOTIONS

SB 000 .F23 2024

wc 3.7k

pairings bf!Soobin x bratgf!reader

warnings oral sex, semi-public, unprotected sex, slight brat taming, being almost caught, pet names (+ anything that I missed)

faye's note this clip was on my mind 24/7. And after receiving it I got excited making this one out but I'm not sure if it turned out good because my mind was kinda occupied with thesis shit. Omfg. Anyways, I hope it isn't dry tho 😔

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, be it familial, platonic, or romantic. Arguments can arise from misunderstandings, unmet expectations, or simply the simple things from daily life. Recently, you found yourself in a heated disagreement with Soobin, your boyfriend.

The sun hung low one afternoon, casting golden lights through the window. You were sprawled on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone. Soobin on the other hand, who had just come home from a busy day at university, was busy, again, in the kitchen, occasional noises of clicks and clangs of utensils on pots and pans plus the opening and closing of the faucet can be heard.

You overheard him murmur "Yeah, dinner for two," as he clicked his tongue. You felt a strange pang of irritation swell within you. It wasn't about him or the meal he was preparing, it was you. You actually promised him you would help out, maybe even cook together, but here you were, scrolling on your phone.

You stood up as you trudged to the kitchen, arms crossed as you leaned on the sink. "You didn't have to do all this," you stood feigning nonchalance as you bit your cheek to not show the guilt you were feeling. "You could have asked me for help."

"Oh?" He looked at you with disappointment, "I thought you were busy checking social media," his blunt reply and harsh tone made your ears hot out of irritation. "I didn't want to interrupt your 'important' scrolling."

The sarcasm was too emphasized and it stung more than you expected. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Your eyebrows furrowed as you met with his gaze. "Nothing! I just thought maybe you'd care enough to have some initiative or something. We both agreed to share the chores. I was tired the whole day only to come back home without even eating a single thing." His voice raised with frustration as he threw down the spatula.

"I was going to help!" Your voice was quite high as you tried to cover how you abandoned your promise. "Oh yeah? I was out all day to finish my projects. And there you were scrolling through your phone." He said as he crumpled the apron he was wearing and threw it also on the table.

"You know what, Soobin? Maybe I don't always want to help! Maybe I want a day off too!" You felt the tension suffocating the air around you. Your heart raced but you're too afraid you're wrong.

"That's fucking selfish!" His voice rose, echoing in the confines of the kitchen. "You can't just say you want a break when we agreed to support each other!" He even added. "Fine! I guess we don't need any support then!" You turned on your heel as if fleeing away would help erase the hurtful things that had been said.

"Hey, y/n! Where are you going!" He called but you did not even take a glance. He called you multiple times but his voice just faded out as you were stomping your way to the bedroom.

That night, you didn't come out for dinner. Your mind was in a whirlwind of regret and stubborn pride. Soobin had a point, you were just lazing around that time, however, you don't want to accept that it was your fault. That same night, he didn't come into the room. Your shared bed feels so empty, but you can't just bring yourself to ask for an apology.

Later that morning, you tiptoed your way out. Still too early that your boyfriend was still sleeping, uncomfortably by the way, on the couch. You just grabbed bread and water and went out.

You two always ride his car to go to school. But this time you were determined not to ask for a simple apology and went out by yourself instead. And yes, you were planning to walk to school for your practice. However, some guy passed by and let you ride their car. Since you know the one who offered you a ride, you accepted the offer. It was Kai anyway, aside from being in Soobin's circle of friends, he was part of your cheerleading team.

"Why are you walking so early in the morning? Where's Soobin?" He asked out of curiosity.

"I don't know, maybe somewhere." You answered as you rolled your eyes, still being stubborn. "Are you two fighting?" Kai chuckled as he watched your actions while the traffic light was still red.

"We broke up." You nonchalantly remarked. Well, that was supposed to be a joke, and you never thought that Kai would actually believe those words.

"Woah shit! You what?" He was really startled at what you said as he covered his mouth while keeping the other on the wheel. You just laughed at him as you took the last bite of the bread.

Your whole Saturday went on like the usual cheerleading practice days. But since your mind is still in a whirlwind of pride, you couldn't focus. Causing you to crash multiple times while practicing. You were even scolded by your coach and instructors telling you that you looked like your mind flying or some sort. You just rolled your eyes at them whenever they turn their backs to you.

For that reason, you got hurt, earning yourself a few scratches here and there. You didn't even bother at all. Kai on the other hand, took the chance to treat your scratches. You're still not aware that he actually took your words this morning to heart and mind.

"It's just a scratch, Kai. No need to create a big fuss." You chuckled as he handed you a few bandages.

"Still, scratches can cause infection." He defended himself.

"Fine fine, you win." You sighed in defeat.

You two shared each other's company during lunch that day. You could even tell that many eyes are watching you -- no, most probably judging you at this point. Nonetheless, you just shrugged it off and enjoyed Kai's company instead. Not knowing that this could fuel some bigger fire. Fire that Kai holds, and fire that your boyfriend holds.

Since Soobin was not on the campus that day, he just stayed at home. He can't even contact you since you purposely left your phone. He was just cleaning all day. Just decluttering everything at home. He knows you're practicing today anyway. The only difference is that he usually accompanies you to school and waits for you until practice is done and brings you home, but now, he's just at home busying himself with the chores. He just planned to fetch you later this afternoon and treat you to some restaurant to make it up to you since he feels sorry about raising his voice at you.

"Let's wrap up here today." Your coach shouts as he reminds the assigned cleaners to clean the gymnasium before going home.

"Ugh! Cleaning this whole gymnasium sucks!" You complained, picking up the materials your team has used.

"Anyway, why are you still here? You're not on the list to clean today, right?" You were pertaining to the young boy tailing you. He smiled as he scratched the back of his head, "I want to offer you a ride home." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Don't you have like, any other things to do?" You asked, counting the pompoms before storing them in the box.

"Don't have any." Kai shook his hand as he took the box from your hand and headed to the facility room.

As soon as you and the other were done cleaning, you immediately headed out, Kai insisted on carrying your cheerleading bag. Once again, eyes were gawking at the two of you. You can hear a few of them mumbling but you still ignored it.

Kai opened his car door to let you in. But before you could even step foot inside, someone spoke which made you stop in your tracks. "Where are you headed to?" You turn around to see Soobin as he brings his window down.

"O-oh Soobin hyung." Soobin nods at the younger boy to notice his existence, his elbow hanging at the open window.

You quickly retreat as you grab your bag from Kai. "I-i thought..." Kai stammered as he looked at you. "I was just messing with you Kai, it's not real." You sighed. "What did she say?" Soobin interrupted as he turned to you. You're just a millisecond late to cover Kai's mouth as the words slip out. "She said that you two broke up." Soobin snapped his head towards the younger, a smirk forming on his lips. "Did she?" Kai just nods, still clueless. "Get in," Soobin commanded over you. "I'll take her home, be safe, Kai," Soobin says as he closes the window, whistling.

The whole drive is deafening in silence. You can't hear anything except the faint music playing on the car radio.

"Wow, did we actually break up?" Soobin states with unbelief as he taps his fingers on the wheels.

You were still saying nothing. "Y/n, seriously, are you still mad at me? You didn't even eat last night." He sighed as he continuously threw you glances. Both of your hands were properly curled up in a ball above your thighs clutching your short skirt as you stared outside the window. Looking at whatever unpleasant view outside that seems interesting to you.

The once bright clouds turned darker. "Is it gonna rain? I thought I checked the weather news before I went out." Soobin whispers, changing the stations to listen to the news.

The raindrops started to fall on the car window, drizzling softly as it made the glass cold. "Grab my jacket in the backseat." Soobin talks to you again, but you're not even giving him a single glance.

Soobin messages his temple, "I wanted to take you to a restaurant tonight to make it up to you, but it looks like it's pouring really hard. I'm sorry y/n, just please talk to me." He's totally losing his patience at this point as if he's gonna burst again but tried his very best not to go over the top. He regretted raising his voice yesterday so much.

The once-familiar view of the road becomes foreign to your eyes. You turned to Soobin, looking at his unusual demeanor. If he'd been talking so much earlier, his lips were totally shut now. You wanted to speak and ask him where he was bringing you or what was wrong but you stopped yourself. Whatever will be, will be, you thought to yourself.

The rain started pouring harder, and the once busy road you were on looked empty now. Thunder clasps from far away making a rumbling sound. You try to rub your shoulder to create friction to keep your body warm. You're starting to feel cold and Soobin hasn't thrown you a glance nor commented anything at you.

He suddenly pulled up on the roadside, and the light from the lamp post dimly flickered inside the car.

"Not gonna lie, I felt like a dumb ass talking to a wall earlier." His eyes met yours for a while before you averted your gaze. He grabs his jacket and hands it to you, "Wear this, you must be cold. I just realized, your skirt is too short, and your tank top is too thin, at that." He eyes you up and down as you wear his jacket.

"This is fucking crazy." He mumbled as he pulled his hair.

"Y/n, baby, look, I'm really sorry for raising my voice at you, hm? I was just really tired last night." He gently placed his hand above yours on your thighs.

Your eyes were following a few cars passing by as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. You felt Soobin hold your face gently. "Baby, please look at me. I'm not used to this. You know me." Soobin's eyes were practically begging. He couldn't stand you giving him the cold shoulder.

The truth is you were just afraid. You're afraid to admit you had acted selfishly. Afraid of facing him after a petty argument over something so trivial.

"I just want you to talk to me," he caresses your cheeks, words so gentle and comforting, "I can't fix this if you won't talk to me."

Soobin pulls you in for a hug, warming up your heart. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, surrendering to him and putting down your stubborn pride. You mumbled a soft sorry as he gently rubbed your back. You let your arms move freely, as you return the hug to Soobin.

"Please don't do this again to me." He kissed your forehead. "I'm sorry for raising my voice, baby. I'm sorry for making you feel upset at me." Soobin's probably the sweetest guy you could ever ask for. He can make you feel loved and appreciated, but of course, you're just stubborn and bratty at times, which makes him wanna lose his temper.

Soobin pulls away, showering your face with a hundreds of kisses. You can't help but giggle at his actions."I didn't mean to shut you out." You mumbled with a pout. "You don't look sincere." Soobin commented which made you pout more. He chuckled as he pulled you in for a kiss.

The kiss felt soft and gentle. That's why you had no idea, why he was shoving his tongue inside your mouth. He bit your lip with a little harshness making you push him away. "Oww! What was that!" You complained. Soobin simply smirked at you. "I'm asking for an apology and forgiving you for one, but not the other issue." His smirk turns to a frown. "Soobin I can explain that..." Your heart began to race, thumping so hard you could feel it in your throat.

"Why don't we use that pretty little mouth of yours on something else good, yeah? Instead of giving people an opening to pounce on you." His eyes scream anger and lust at the same time.

"What do you mean?" You asked clueless. "What do I mean? You really want to hear the exact words?" Soobin taunted. "I don't get what you are saying." You shook your head. "I'm telling you that you just made an opening to let Kai pounce on you. Are you that dense, that you don't even know he likes you?" You were shocked at what Soobin just revealed to you. You opened your mouth to answer only for him to cut you off.

"Or don't tell me you wanted it all along?" He scoffs. "Soobin don't talk like that --" "Don't talk like what, doll? Aren't you the one who told him we're over?"

That's it, those words pushed you over the edge, switching your bratty side once more. "Okay, so what? What if I wanted it all along?" Your voice raised once more. "Kai is a good guy, plus he knows how to take care of someone he likes." You pushed Soobin's chest away from you. Soobin scoffed again, brushing his tongue inside his cheek.

"And I can tell --"

"Backseat. Or else --"

"Or else what? Huh? Are you gonna order me around again? Raise your voice over me again?" You taunt.

"I said backseat, you brat." He fixed his gaze on you and held your wrist.

His words are firm and strong which makes the hair on your neck stand up. He unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted the gear to park, leaving the car idle and the headlights on. You have no choice. You crawled your way to the backseat. you squeezed yourself to fit and pass by the center console. Soobin followed quickly, making his way through the front and back doors. As soon as he settled in the backseat, he ruffled his hair to whisk away some water from the rain.

Your eyes waver as you avert your gaze from him. His hand squeezed both your cheeks, "My patience is running low from your actions, doll. You're making it worse."

Soobin pulled you on his lap. You were almost covering him with how big his jacket you were wearing. His surname is written in big fonts.

He hiked up your skirt only to find out you had nothing underneath other than thin panties. Soobin scoffs, "Don't tell me you were gonna ride Kai's car with just this?" You bit your lip as you placed your hands on his shoulder when he started to rub you with your panties still on.

Soobin clearly knows how to make your knees weak. With just a simple touch and you're back to square one from being a brat. He pulled your panties off slowly without breaking the eye contact. His brows are still furrowed and you can still feel his anger.

"Let's see if you'd still want to ride his car after getting out of mine." He clicked his tongue and licked his finger, pushing two at the same time. Your mouth hung open as you squirm. "S-soob..." You can't talk straight, no, you don't wanna talk actually, but he has his ways to make you open your mouth. "How is it? Still wanna ride his car?" A sly smirk tugging on his lips. In which you replied with just a shake of your head.

"I'm close..." You whispered, biting your lips, watching how his fingers disappears and appears in your cunt. You shudder with the sensation, your high coming to you. But Soobin pulled his fingers out. You whined, hiding your face on his neck as you grind yourself above him.

Soobin's too focused on making you say the word sorry for the said issue. He did not even expect you'll act bratty once again after just apologizing for what happened yesterday.

He gripped your waist. "Stop moving or you'll not gonna cum for 1 week." Hearing this, you whine once more. You can't stand that punishment at least. But instead of getting the words out of your mouth, Soobin wasn't prepared for your action of apology.

You unzip his pants and slowly stroke him. Your face is still hidden in the crook of his neck. Planting soft kisses on his shoulder blade to his neck.

"Doll." His voice is warning yet you didn't budge, with only a small "please let me" coming out of your mouth.

His hand rubbed your back up and down, slipping them inside your top. Your skin is burning to his palm.

"What's with you, huh?" He asked, but he clearly knows you'd rather act like his little slut than let the five-letter word out of your pretty mouth.

You pulled back, squeezing your body once again on the small space between his legs. "Fuck-- just stop giving him signs -- ohh shit!" Soobin clearly shows his frustration at how he grips on the door. You gave him a few kitten licks and swirled your tongue on the tip of his cock making him jolt.

He looks down at you, meeting your eyes, "Fuck, is the word too much for you to say?" You took him whole the moment he spit those words making him thrust up a bit and lean back his head on the headrest.

"Ahh!" His breathy moans filled the car, making the glass foggy despite the rain and cold atmosphere outside. His hands tangled in your hair as you bobbed your head slowly.

You whimpered at how his cock pulsated on your tongue and how his tip kissed your throat. He gently caresses your cheeks as he holds them. You automatically leaned on his hand as you let him fuck your mouth.

His eyes were tightly closed. Lower lip trapped between his teeth. One hand on your cheek to hold you and the other firmly gripping the door to keep himself grounded.

"Baby fuck!" With one last thrust, he's cumming in your mouth. Draining himself on your wet and hot lips.

His heavy pants were the only thing that could be heard inside the car. Not until you hear a knock on the window. You quickly scrambled up your way to the seat as you sat properly, Soobin shoving his shirt down to cover his exposed length.

He opened the window slowly. "Is everything fine? You're hazard is switched on." A police officer said with an umbrella in hand, roaming his eyes inside the car. He even added that he was just passing by and noticed the car had switched on the hazard.

"I'm sure I didn't put the car on hazard though., must be when I got out.." Soobin mumbles, "But everything is fine, we just need to talk something out."

"Take care then, it's pouring hard." The officer apologized before going back to his car.

You looked at Soobin, fear evident on your face. You were doing things in a semi-public place but here you are, totally scared of getting caught. Soobin chuckled at you.

"Can you turn off the hazard light?" He appealed. You propped yourself on top of the center console to reach for the hazard button. But seems like some other button is getting pressed instead, as your hands retreat back to cover your mouth.

Soobin's tongue is licking your exposed cunt. Eating you out while you're still on the center console.

"S-soob, wait.." you tried your best to appeal to him but he did not budge. He continued shoving his tongue inside you. He then gently pulled you back to his lap, slowly sinking you down on his cock.

One of his hands lightly squeezes your neck, the other one pulling one of your hands back. He stopped you from covering your mouth as he continuously thrusts upward.

"Tight.. so tight..." He mumbles at your nape. "Pussy so good for me."

"M-more please." You quietly pleaded as you tried moving your hips. "Someone's eager to be filled." He commented back. "W-wanna be full of you, Soobin." You're feeling lightheaded at how he's squeezing your neck. He can't help but leave hickeys on your shoulder as he thrusts harder.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant at this point," he huffed. "D-don't care, w-want you," your words are slurred as you lean back on his chest.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" No other words just curses, was coming out of his mouth as he felt his cum being released.

You were totally breathless, your body slumped on him, his cock still twitching and pulsating inside your cunt. Soobin is totally worn out, dipping his head down on your shoulder.

"Let's stay like this for five minutes then we'll go home." He mumbled.

@binniesbooks 2024

#faye's library #soobin's books #soobin x reader #soobin smut #soobin x you #choi soobin x reader #choi soobin x you #choi soobin smut #soobin imagines #soobin scenarios #choi soobin imagines #choi soobin scenarios #txt smut #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts

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jaggedamethyst · 2 months ago

Text

circuit breaker 🔬🌌 (part eight)

tutor!jayce talis x reader, ekko x reader college au

content: powder's back and so are your feelings about her leaving. you seek out ekko to help you calm your nerves.

notes: probably the usual warnings, mental health, a reference to self-harm if you squint (powder's character), angst, and drama idk.

y'all might not like reader much after this but its needed i swear, nuanced and non-perfect readers for the win

series master list

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆　　。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

You pivoted on your feet, not at all equipped to handle a conversation right now—least of all with a ghost. That’s who Powder turned into; she was an apparition of the friend you knew. It seemed like forever ago—another life when she disappeared.

The familiar sound of your name didn’t stop your movement, “Wait!”

You continued to walk, not entirely sure of where you were headed. Away from this general area was a great start.

Powder came up next to you and matched your step with a slight skip. Her enthusiastic tone mirrored the energetic way she followed you. “Someone’s in a bad mood.”

You continued to walk, letting your eyes fall closed for a brief moment. “God, can you be serious for once in your life?”

“What’s the fun in that?” She contorted her body, purposely blocking your eyeline.

“Powder,” you waved a hand out beside you and urged her to move. “Get out of my way.”

She huffed beside you, still letting the sarcasm fill her tone. “I’ll be out of your hair, just need to see Ekko.”

You froze. “You’re not serious.”

“As a heart attack.”

Standing in the middle of a busy street normally would’ve broke you, embarrassment paralyzing you. It was different, though, when Powder had already done so much damage.

“You're un-fucking-real. You don’t even understand what you did.”

“Tell me.”

It was no mistake that Powder had her own problems. Like a good friend you stood by her, carried her through the tribulations her life constantly threw at her. First it was her and Vi’s uncle—he seemingly disappeared. The group of you theorized that it was Vander’s fault, that some sort of falling out pushed him away. The thought that Powder blamed herself didn’t escape you—that she could’ve decided above all she was just too much and nobody wanted to deal with her. So when Vander died, their only other connection to their mother, Powder broke.

In her own way Vi was coping as well. When her sister was spiraling she wasn’t allowed to; she was forced to remain the sane one. Nobody knew when exactly Powder decided to go, or the ultimate reason why, but she did. Powder left and it was the worst thing to happen to any of you. You, Ekko, and Vi were never the same.

“You ruined him—ruined me.” You blinked at her, a stoned face looking back at you. “I’m your friend, too.” You whispered to yourself, “I thought I was.”

“Come on, you know we’re friends-“

“Would a friend leave the way you did? Without a damn word?” You shook your head at her. “Powder…I thought you were gone, for good.”

“I didn’t mean-“

“What you meant to do and did do are different things. When Ekko couldn’t bring himself to leave his room for weeks. When Vi blamed me-“ Your throat tightened, “When Vi blamed me—said I was a horrible friend—I only ever needed my friend. My friend who didn’t care to just talk to me. Least of all leave me some sign of her.”

“Look, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you folded your arms on yourself at the sudden breeze. “Maybe she was right—I didn’t do enough. I should’ve tried harder to be a better friend.” You looked at her, “So I’m gonna get it right with Ekko.”

There was a look in her eye you previously became familiar with. The slight muscle contraction of her face, a swooped piece of hair, and a twitch of her brow…she knew you were serious.

You continued, “Just go. Go and don’t come back.”

The sound of your footsteps halted at a red light, leaving only your side profile for Powder to see. She could only stare, guilt filling her.

“I’m sorry.”

Staying still at that hurt, the earnest tone in her voice. There were times—in the latest parts of the night—where you begged for a moment like this. Secretly you wondered if there was a way for her to magically appear in your life, to mend the shattered pieces she left between the both of you. Ekko deserved as much if not more. Yet now, with Powder beside you…you could only pray for the light to turn green.

When it flashed you crossed the street with an urgency you’d never felt. On one shoulder you were pestered to turn around, to apologize for pushing her away; she probably needs you right now. On the other, though, was an altogether more compelling argument. She deserves this. She didn’t even care enough to ask you to come.

You would’ve. Given the chance you’d leave with Powder—there wasn’t much left for you here.

In the end you were most hurt by how she carved out time for Ekko—left him a stopwatch. For Ekko, it was the opportunity to hold something tangible, to have a physical manifestation of something that made Powder still feel palpable. She didn’t care to give you that. It hurt.

To your luck it was the weekend and some time off was overdue. In the short break you tried not to let your mind wander—to Powder or Jayce. It was admittedly hard, though. Whether you wanted to acknowledge it or not there were certain songs that would come on or movie scenes that would flash in front of you and that pain would feel real again. There was almost always a feeling of inadequacy about you, that you couldn’t be loved platonically or otherwise. Maybe you shouldn’t have spent this time alone, stuck in your own mind that constantly ripped everything about you apart. You didn’t want to cry this weekend, but you did. A lot.

By the start of the next week you got an automated email, one explaining that your sessions this week were canceled.

Fucking great.

You could reschedule with someone else if necessary, but the fine print explained how limited the spots would be considering everyone would now be doing double duty.

Letting the motions carry you, you moved around your place without much thought. Showering and getting ready felt machine-like, just getting you closer to where you wanted to be the most. Your feet moved on their own, down the street and between crosswalks until you were in front of a door, his door.

You knocked and waited a few seconds. Just as you raised your hand to tap again, a gust of air was pulled from you, the door swinging open.

“Hi.”

Ekko’s face looked back at you, an unreadable expression there. “Hey.” You looked down expectantly, waiting for him to let you in. He could tell, always could. He stepped back and left you some space, “Come on.” His motion paired with that smile you loved was enough to calm you—a relief filling you that you hadn’t felt for days.

He watched you take off your shoes and round the corner to his room. Ekko mentally counted to himself, waiting ten seconds for you to come back in your slippers and something to shield you from the cold. He smirked at how right he was, down to you finding a throw blanket to wrap yourself in.

“How’s Jayce?”

You froze, not expecting to hear his name today, especially from Ekko, “Hm?”

“Tutoring?”

“Dunno know, haven’t seem him.”

“Really?”

You shrugged, “Got a message saying there’s no sessions this week. So I guess I’m all yours.”

He nodded, watching you slide into the couch with a familiarity. “Is that right?”

“Yup,” you rubbed your hands with an exaggeration. “Just classes and then I’m completely free.”

Ekko popped down next to you, leaning back on the cushions. “Good, you deserve the rest.”

You were the one to nod now, appreciative of his encouragement and understanding. “Thank you.”

He reached for your shoulder, rubbing it reassuringly, “‘Course. You’ve been doing a lot—through a lot.”

Ekko was right. Today, last week, this month, this year…you never got a chance to breathe.

“You okay?”

“Not really.” You spoke without thinking, a small gasp catching in your throat before turning away slightly.

He’d caught your head in his hand, moving a bit closer. He didn’t pry but instead let you just breathe. He watched the way your eyes closed, searching for a temperance you were so clearly lacking.

“It’s just—a lot.” You opened your eyes again, “But I’m grateful to have you...no matter what.”

He blinked at that, the lightness that returned after weeks. He could blame Jayce—the amount of time you spent together. The larger part of him blamed himself and his inaction. Even when he noticed things, like the very obvious way you reacted after kissing Jayce at the bar, he did nothing about it.

You didn’t know how he felt. Not really.

Ekko was never this close to you. Sure, you hugged and watched movies together. It was never this, though. Him letting his fingers settle on your cheek was an entirely new feeling—one he wouldn’t let pass fleetingly.

You were grateful. No matter what, you were.

“I’ll always be here,” he whispered and leaned in a bit.

You didn’t think, tired of doing so. Instead you let him move closer, praying that this was the feeling you were missing. You hoped, truly, that kissing Ekko would fill that part of yourself that was empty.

It was soft, the way your lips touched. Without thinking you moved closer, allowing the pressure he was applying to actually push into you. Despite this, you could tell Ekko was still restrained, not wanting to scare you but wanting this so much. Your lips moved with his, falling into sync in only a way the two of you could. He knew you the most, he was your friend.

Your breath caught at that—remembering that this was, in fact, your friend.

The tingle between you had a sense of finality, not just that it was always just on the brink of happening, but that it was the end of your friendship as it currently was. You couldn’t let that be true, to let this settle and change everything. If that was the case why had you pushed Powder away? This wasn’t being a better fried, this was the worst it could be.

You pulled away and spoke immediately. “Powder was here.”

“What?”

“She was here. I told her to leave.”

He scoffed. “I don’t understand-“

“Neither do I, okay? I have no idea what I’m doing and this,” you motioned between the two of you, “This can’t happen.”

His face stiffened, watching how quickly this turned around.

You continued, “I’m sorry.”

He avoided eye contact and slumped into the couch. Your sight lingered there for a few minutes before pushing yourself off of the couch and back into your shoes.

You stopped on your way out, “I’ll call you, okay? I will.”

He sat there, back toward the door and motionless. He didn’t speak and let you leave without another word.

This was all spiraling out of control, and you could only find it in yourself to blame one person. You flipped open your phone, dialing and getting the voicemail. This didn’t deter you, no. It actually made you more angry.

“Hey, Jayce. We need to talk.” You paused, “Actually…I tried to and I have no idea what’s wrong with you. Granted, I have no idea what’s wrong with me either but… it all comes back to you. Everything's always about you.” You started walking away from Ekko’s place, continuing to speak into the crackling line, “I’m confused. We have a moment, fine. Then you just disappear for a week—the week before my midterm. How inconsiderate are you? How immature do you have to be to not just accept what happened, move on, and do your damn job.” You let out a long huff, stopping at a stop sign, “Whatever. Just—leave me the hell alone, okay?”

You wished he would. Your immediate thought was to hope as hard as you could that he would leave you alone—forever.

When you thought harder, though, it was no longer true. In some ways you craved the attention, even thought the angry message would do the trick.

Again, you had no idea what you were doing anymore.

Powder wasn't to blame and neither were Ekko and Jayce.

Somehow you became the problem, and that was hardest to face.

part nine

taglist

@juskonutoh @sseleniaa @aerina127 @sleepysoldier @angelicmisty @1800latenitecreep @venus-in-roses @myxticmoon @rando-no-5

#jaggedamethyst #circuit breaker #jayce talis #arcane jayce #arcane #jayce talis x reader #angst #jayce talis x you #jayce x reader #arcane x reader #ekko arcane #ekko x reader #ekko #powder #powder arcane #jinx arcane #jinx x ekko

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berryz-writes · 11 months ago

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You are divine

Azriel x reader

Summary: You haven't seen Azriel for ages after a mission has kept him busy and you decide to wait for his return. Will you finally reveal your feelings or is it just not the right time?

idk what this is or where the idea came from but hope u enjoy xx ofc it's not checked either so pretend there are no mistakes

I lounged on the sofa, my book next to me but not actually reading it. It's not that I didn't like it, I actually found the romance in the book once of the best things I had read in a while but I couldn't settle down to enjoy it.

I was waiting for Azriel to come back from a mission he had been on for two weeks now. I had recently figured out the slight ache I felt whenever I remembered him was because I missed him and not because I had some sort of heart disease. Although I don't exactly know why seen as though our conversations consisted of "Good mornings'" "Good nights" and small smiles here and there.

"What are you doing?" Nesta asked, as she swept into the living room ,a cup of tea in her hand. I could smell the slight hint of lemon and honey and it was not a smell I particularly enjoyed. She sat down on the armchair opposite me as if she was going to start interviewing me. She probably was.

I sat up slightly and showed her the book I was reading. "I'm reading. Why?" She was definitely up to something.

She took a sip of her tea before continuing "I didn't know you could read without actually looking inside the book. Do you just absorb the words?" Her sarcasm was there but so was her teasing. I stuck my tongue out at her and put the book to the side. There was no point lying anymore.

"I'm waiting for Azriel. I haven't seen him in a while" I tried to keep my expression neutral like I was waiting for a friend and not because I may like him.

Nesta it seemed found something funny as a smirk made it's way onto her face "Waiting for Azriel? Do you miss him?"

If I replied no, she would ask why I was waiting and if I said yes I would never hear the end of her teasing. So I decided to take the safer route "Don't we all miss him when he leaves? It's been two weeks now"

Putting her cup of tea down she sighed "I suppose. Although it's getting late now. You can always see him in the morning."

She knew exactly what she was doing. Her plan to trap me in her questioning had worked because she was smiling now and I didn't know what to say. I narrowed my eyes at her "Isn't it your bed time?"

I asked, redirecting the conversation even though we both knew by now why I was waiting for him.

She shrugged slightly but stood up "It is. Sweet dreams" The house vanished the cup for her as she stood up and made her way to the door before looking back "You know, I don't think I've ever met anyone as oblivious as you or Azriel. It's excruciating to watch"

So she knew. Well I suppose it was pretty obvious how I always wanted to spend time with Azriel and how I was always waiting for him to return from missions. But I don't know why she called Azriel oblivious. It was probably the fact that he never noticed how much I liked him.

I crossed my arms in defiance to her words "I don't know what your talking about" I was never about to admit I liked someone and they didn't like me back. My pride wouldn't let me.

"Hmm. Okay." She left and it was silent once again. It was dark outside, the fae lights of Velaris could be seen twinkling in the distance as the people went from bar to bar, partying the night away. It was getting late, she was right. Maybe I should wait for a few more minutes? Just in case. I watched the balcony, waiting for him to land but I never saw it because soon my eyes became heavier and harder to keep open. The constant sound of the clock in the room added to the sleepiness I was feeling as if it was ticking away the time until I fell asleep.

I decided to rest my eyes for a while. Just so I could be awake for when Azriel would arrive. Resting my eyes turned into me falling asleep on the sofa and missing the whole point of my I was sat there in the first place.

I was woken up by someone whispering my name in the dark. I pushed the voice away and turned my face away trying to get to sleep again, not bothering to open my eyes to see who it was.

"Aren't you uncomfortable on the sofa?" It was Azriel. He repeated my name again and this time I finally woke up. I rubbed my eyes to see in the mostly dark room and saw hazel eyes full of warmth looking down at me. His wings were folded in and he was still in his Illyrian armour. There wasn't a speck of blood on him as if he had changed just before coming home. He shouldn't have had to take a detour just so he looked presentable coming home. He should have felt comfortable enough to come home and clean up instead of probably going to a shabby hotel in which he must have used the cramped bathrooms not big enough for wings. I hoped it wasn't me that made him so cautious around his own home.

He looked gorgeous as ever, even though he looked tired as hell too. I shook my head and sat up, stretching so I could hear the satisfactory crack from my back.

"I'm fine. How long have you been back for?" I asked, slightly annoyed at myself for having waited for so long and not even seen him come in. Azriel sat down next to me and even from the small distance between us I could feel his heat. I was glad he was back. The dull pain in my heart had receded now and I pushed back the desire to hug him. His shadows weren't as lively or moving about as they usually were as if they were tired too, just resting on his shoulders instead.

"A few minutes. What are you doing on the sofa?" He asked, looking at me like I was doing something odd. Well, I suppose I was but what was I supposed to say? The truth?

"I was reading and I fell asleep." The lie came easily off my tongue. It was helpful in situations where telling the truth would result in a painful death but sometimes lying was just easier than telling the truth. For fear of what the other person would say or how they would react. I'd rather not embarrass myself like that.

Azriel merely nodded his head, looking down at the wooden floorboards and not saying anything. The clock seemed louder now as if it were waiting for our conversation to start again.

"How was your mission?" I asked, looking at his reaction. His wings twitched slightly but otherwise his expression remained the same.

"Shit" He replied after clearing his throat. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Why was it shit? The reports Rhys was getting all proved of the successful discoveries Azriel had made and not once was it mentioned something had failed.

"Why was it shit? I thought you found out everything you needed to? Did something happen? Were your spies found? Did you get hurt?" With every question it seemed Azriel's jaw clenched even more than before, leaving him to look slightly angry at this point. I scanned him for any injuries but physically he seemed fine. Well, more like fucking gorgeous and hot as hell but that wasn't the point.

"It was shit because I was away from home for two weeks. I am capable of missing people you know. I don't always want to be out on missions"

I paused at his words. He was right. I had dismissed it, just because he was good at his job, didn't mean he always wanted to do it or that he didn't miss people when he left. The air around us had thickened into something awkward and I hated the slight feeling of guilt growing in me. It was unusual for Azriel to open up like this but I was glad he wasn't answering in one word answers and actually wanted my company. Even if it was him slightly snapping at me.

After some deliberating I decided to tell the truth. I could always pretend we were just friends and I wasn't harbouring feelings for him "I missed you while you were gone. You went for ages, almost two weeks. It would have been exactly fourteen days if you arrived tomorrow" I informed him. I don't know why I said that but I did and now he was looking at me and his piercing gaze made me feel like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't have.

"You missed me?" He asked, sounding like he was holding his breath and waiting for my next words.

I nodded slowly "Of course I did" I don't know what he was expecting but he let out a sigh and looked down again. Was my answer not what he wanted to hear?

"You should get some sleep now...on your bed and not the sofa" Azriel interrupted my thoughts and stood up, his wings flaring slightly before folding again. What if I touched his wings? What would happen? I knew perfectly well what would happen so I banished the thought from my mind and stood up.

"You should sleep too. You must be tired" I said, covering a yawn with my hand. Really, this welcome wasn't what it was supposed to be. Although I don't really know what it was supposed to be. I was acting like I would hug and kiss him and tell him how I'd missed him but instead we'd had a conversation for two minutes and decided to call it a night. Not the most amazing thing in the world.

He nodded his head "I will. Once I have a shower and try to wash away the death on my hands" He said it so casually as if the death made no difference to him. Even if it was something he did quiet often how used to death could a person really get? You couldn't become immune to it. His shadows had gathered near his hands and his neck as if they were comforting him or hiding him from my stare.

"The death on your hands is part of your job. Not who you are" I replied quietly. I hoped he knew that.

"You always know what to say don't you? I suppose that's why everyone says you have a silver tongue" His lips had turned up in a small smile and his shadows had receded slightly. I smiled back, glad he wasn't taking my words as offensive and instead found humour in them.

I shrugged slightly and before I knew what I was saying I had let my thoughts spill out "This tongue can do other things, y'know" I clapped a hand over my mouth, my eyes widening in horror. I was stupid. So fucking stupid.

Azriel had paused. His eyes widened slightly, signalling his surprise at my words but other than that he looked like a statue. Nothing moved. Until I heard a slight chuckle escape from his perfect lips and then an actual laugh that made my heart ache and feel bright with happiness at the same time. Ache because I hadn't heard such a beautiful sound in ages and happiness because it was me making him laugh. It was so infectious that I lowered my hands and smiled at his reaction.

"Who knew you could flirt? I wouldn't mind if you showed me what other things you could do"

Now it was my turn to stand in shock as Azriel's laughter came to an abrupt halt and he eyed me warily.

"I didn't mean that" He added quietly, all of the lightness around us gone.

I tilted my head slightly "I meant what I said though" I waited for what he would say. I had finally let it out. The fact that I wanted him and I didn't feel any better. I didn't feel lighter or as if I had hope within me. Instead nerves gathered in my stomach waiting for his rejection.

Azriel moved closer to me, his boots silent on the floorboard until there was an inch of space between us and if I wanted to, I could reach up and brush a stray curl away from his forehead.

"If I were to kiss you right now what would you do? Would you run? Push me away in disgust? " His questions were said one after another, his voice soft and his eyes locked onto mine. I had to strain my ears to make out the exact words he was saying but they went straight to my heart. As if I would ever have disgust and Azriel in the same sentence.

I swallowed. It was now or never. I wrapped my arms around his neck and moved closer until we were a hairs width apart. I waited for him to push me away but instead he watched me with intrigue and full intensity. I tilted my face up so our lips touched slightly, a jolt of electricity running through my entire body. His hands immediately came to rest on my hips, tugging my closer until I was pressed up against him and his lips were on mine and were were kissing and it felt like I was in heaven, and I never wanted it to end.

"This is what I would do" I murmured. His eyes were closed as he breathed in deeply before opening them again "You are divine" He whispered to me, before leaning in and kissing me as if his life depended on it.

MASTERLIST

#azriel x reader #acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel acotar #a court of thorns and roses #azriel spymaster #acotar x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel fanfic #azriel x you #azriel fic

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torialefay · 1 year ago

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hi your astrology post on chan are absolutely amazing, what do you think he will be like when jealous. I mean we all get jealous when it comes to some people but given how possessive chan is it can be bit overwhelmingly intense emotion for him and it can lead to steamy situation. So can you write a little about what he would be like when jealous in regards to astrology, please.

Thank you💕

of course, anon! i actually have v strong (and maybe not so popular idk) opinions on this.

yes yes yes! you are 100% right that channie can get super jealous & possessive. but the thing is, he is VERY good at hiding it. and let me tell you why:

• his venus in scorpio: this one is the most obvious and why i think a lot of people suspect his jealous/possessive tendencies. and duh, we know venus rules love & beauty, scorpio rules deep emotions, passions & desires, etc etc. BUT, scorpio also has also always been associated with manipulation. i feel like this is 100% the case with chan. he may not outright say that he feels jealous over something that you did, but he will twist things so that you end up feeling guilty and don't do it again (but that wasn't his intentions of course, you came to that conclusion on your own 😉🤭 sarcasm if you can't tell). he may even have this obsessive/possessive quality to the point that he subtly manipulates you into ONLY caring about him really. for you to put him before anyone else and make you feel like he's the only person in the world that can truly take care of & provide for you. very veryyyyyy subtly of course. but he may plant those seeds. why? because it makes you fall in love with him more & become just as obsessed with him as he is with you.... of course you're gonna know he has this side of him, but you don't know just how deep it goes

• his gemini rising & sagittarius mars: these signs are more about freedom & friendliness. making a wide array of friends & coming off as a "people person." very open-minded as well. these definitely aren't the first signs that come to mind when you think "possessive and jealous." but here's the thing, neither of these planets are necessarily WHO you are. they are more so who you come across as. who you present yourself to be. so channie's gonna come across as light-hearted and a super trusting boyfriend. he knows that & that's what he wants. he wants to be seen as someone who trusts you & lets you do what you'd like without making a big deal about it (after all, he's our sweet little channie and he would never try to control us like that! 🫠🤥).

• i also wanna mention his libra sun and moon. obvi we know that libra is all about balance & is definitely the type to run away from conflict. SO, if there's something chan doesn't like, he's probably not gonna outright talk about it. libras are also the "people pleasers" of the world and are greatttt at conversation, so more than likely, he's gonna tell you exactly what you want to hear. he's gonna struggle a lot bc at his very core (his moon), he really just wants to be loved and accepted. but he may feel like, in love (venussss), the only way he can do that is through manipulating you into seeing him as the only person in the world for you. libras love that shit too. feeling validated? feeling needed? they can be prone to manipulating the situation a little bit too. so yes, channie is gonna really have a tough time with it.

how i see this playing out:

• he will plant little seeds in your head. for example, he may say something like "i love you so much more than anything else" simply for the fact that he wants you to say it back. he wants to hear you say that he matters more to you than anyone or anything else in the world. he wants to be the only thing on your mind, but he'd never admit it.

• he wouldn't outright say anything if he saw you with one of his friends/another idol and got jealous... he doesn't want that confrontation. instead, he'll make snide remarks about them (again, tiny little pettttty things) to deter you from thinking ab them. like "oh you were talking to mingi at the party tonight? i heard he was pretty bad off tonight, got into some shit with one of his members" etc etc. just any petty thing he can think to bring up that isn't exactly putting that person down.

• let's say for example that you go out for the night & go clubbing and chan doesn't like it bc he wanted to stay in with you (but of course he's never gonna tell you what to do, right?). he MAY (depending on the day) do something that he knew you wanted to do without you. you wanted to watch that new movie on netflix? he totally forgot and he already watched it. "you would have loved it," he'd say. or maybe he'd hit up the cool new restaurant that you'd been dying to go to, and when he tells you, he'd brag about how cool it was & what a great time he had. basically, he'd make you feel like you were missing out by not being with him.

that's all i'll say for jealous & possessive channie, but i do want to end by saying that he doesn't have these tendencies ALL the time. and tbh, he's probably very unaware just how toxic he's being. he may even have conflicting feelings about it bc he DOES KNOW that you need your freedoms, and probably does TRY to gove you that. but sometimes, he just can't help himself. when he's in love, he wants you to himself & he wants to protect you.

#bangchan scenarios #bangchan stray kids #skz astrology #bangchan imagines #bangchan angst #bangchan #bang chan #skz angst #chan skz #skz scenarios #skz #stray kids scenarios #stray kids #torialefay astrology

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kinascum · 1 year ago

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INVISIBLE SMOKE - CHRIS STURNIOLO

athr's note: idk if i hate or love this BUT M BACK!!!

warnings: ANGST NO COMFORT. Mean!Chris (selfish, no emoional responsability, yells at the reader and insults them). Yelling, Swearing, Fighting, Being uncomfortable, idk if i missed anything.

summary Y/N struggles to adjust to the new dynamic in her relationship with chris as his fame startes to rise, and their time together becomes slimmer. what happens when Y/N stands up for herself?

------------------------------------------!!!

It had been a few months since that fateful night at the noisy party, the night when fate had brought us together. I had been wearing my favorite pair of heels which, as luck would have it, had broken just as I was walking towards the bar. It was then that I spotted Chris, looking at me with an amused smile playing on his lips, and I mustered up the courage to ask him for help.

To my surprise, he not only fixed my heel but also struck up a conversation with me. His blue eyes stood out against his pale skin, which was shining in different colors from the lights around us. We had exchanged numbers amidst the chaos of the party, and that was the beginning of our story.

Fast forward to the present, and I found myself sitting at the dining table, surrounded by my new family. Chris was sitting to my right, but it felt like he was miles away from me. Matt was on my left, and Nick was in front of me, while MaryLou and Jimmy occupied the two ends of the table. I couldn't help but feel like something was off.

Chris seemed distant, and I couldn't shake off the feeling that he didn't have any time for me anymore. I had been struggling to adjust to this new dynamic in our relationship as his fame started to rise and our time together became slimmer, and it was taking a toll on me. As the night went on, I found myself lost in thought, unable to fully enjoy the company of my loved ones.

His words reverberated in my head, and I felt my heart sink as I realized the severity of the situation. We had just arrived back at my apartment, and he was pacing around the kitchen while I sat on the sofa, my hands covering my head as tears streamed down my face. He watched me cry, his face devoid of any emotion as he spoke in a cold, harsh tone.

"Can't you just be normal?" he asked, frustration evident in his voice. "I'm asking you for one basic thing, and it's not that hard." He walked up to me, towering over me as his hands swung around in anger. "I didn't mean to, okay?" I tried to explain, my voice shaking with fear. "I just wasn't feeling good, and I didn't know how to express it." His face contorted with rage, and he let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, Y/N… you're so selfish, you know that?" he said, his voice laced with sarcasm. "You never think about anyone else but yourself." As he looked down at his feet, I felt a wave of despair wash over me.

The person I loved most in the world was standing in front of me, but he seemed like a stranger. The hurt and anger in his eyes were too much for me to bear, and I knew that something had changed between us forever.

I stood up, feeling my anger taking over me while tears started to pour out of my eyes. "Well maybe if you would've asked me what was wrong none of this could've happened," I muttered, my voice trembling with emotion. Four long months of taking his constant criticism without uttering a single complaint had finally taken their toll on me. "And I'm selfish?!" I exclaimed, my voice rising with each word. "You're unbelievable, Chris," I said, my voice choking on my tears. I knew that lashing out at him would only result in more pain, but I couldn't back down now.

I stood there, waiting for Chris to respond. But instead of apologizing, he just stared at me, his eyes flashing with anger. "What do you want from me?" he said, his voice cold. "I can't be everything to you. You're always so needy, always wanting more. It's never enough, is it?"

I felt a surge of anger and frustration rise within me. "That's not true," I said, my voice trembling. "All I want is for you to listen to me, to care about me. Is that too much to ask?"

Chris sneered at me. "You're impossible," he said. "I can't deal with you anymore. I'm done."

And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, alone and broken. I watched him go, feeling a sense of despair wash over me. I knew that we would never be able to make it work, that our relationship was doomed to fail.

But even as I thought that a small part of me still held onto hope, still believed that maybe, just maybe, we could find a way to make things right. But deep down, I knew that it was just wishful thinking, that the reality was far bleaker than I wanted to admit.

#paxi talks #imaginary version of this man #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #paxi's stuff #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo imagine #sturniolo x reader #pls dont even try to fight me

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so-much-for-the-seashells · 1 year ago

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It’s A Love Story…

Colt Seavers (The Fall Guy 2024) x Reader

-Part 2 to Coffees, Plural-

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story except for Sheila and the reader insert!

Author’s Notes: Background is summarized on part one! I tried to get Colt as in character as possible, but it’s hard to perfectly capture him 🙃 also, this is not edited!! idk if it’s cringe or cute, but if you enjoy the story, please leave a comment! I’d love to see what you think! Icons by @gosling-girlx !! She’s the best!

Content/Content Warning: nothing serious! Just some suggestive themes and some smooching at the end :)

Part three is out!

Reader’s POV

Looking back on it, I think my crush on Colt Seavers really did develop on day one. But little did I know, it’d only get stronger.

Dramatic, right? It’s not wrong, though…

After bonding over his affinity for coffees,- yes, plural- that first day, I knew I was down bad. At first I thought it was just stupid butterflies- I was prone to falling fast- but as I got to know him I realized it was far more than just stupid butterflies.

There was just something about him- a lot of somethings, actually. It was- it is- his puppy eyes. His coffee addiction- affinity, sorry. His sense of humor, the way he comes preloaded with sarcasm at any given time. The way his legs bounces when he’s nervous, bored, excited, or all three. His perfect smile. The way he pays attention, the way he cares…

I could go on. And on. And on. And on. But you get the idea.

And oh, that voice… that’s enough to-

Sorry. Anyways.

Over the past nine-ish months we’ve gotten pretty close. I’ll meet him for lunch on set, we’ll meet at each other’s trailers just to hang out, sometimes we’ll find ourselves down by the beach… it’s just nice.

Also, over the past year, I’ve rekindled my friendship with Jody Moreno. We hit it off immediately after I arrived, as if no time had passed at all since the last time I saw her. We’re close again, just like we were back in college, which is also really nice.

She knows full well about my little (big) crush on Colt. I didn’t even have to tell her, she just burst into my trailer one day a couple months ago, accusing me by exclaiming “You like Colt!”

She’s lucky I love her so much, because otherwise her incessant teasing and blatant attempts at setting us up would be just a little annoying.

Today I was on set, watching Colt get thrown around while being on fire. I couldn’t help the way my heart tossed and turned with worry while watching him do his stunts- yes, he’s a professional but that doesn’t mean these crazy stunts scare me any less. He teases me about my worrying, but I can see the way that sometimes the thumbs up he’ll send the director’s way isn’t genuine.

By the fifth take on this stunt I could tell he was beginning to grow weary. Thankfully the stunt coordinator takes mercy on him and tells him to take five after the crew extinguishes him.

He gets up and looks around before setting his eyes on me. My face grows warm as I watched his face light up when he recognized me.

“Heya stud,” I say by way of greeting when he approached me. “How you feeling?”

“Never better,” he responds with a trademark thumbs up.

“You know that that’s still cheesy, right?” I ask. He gives me the thumbs up pretty much anytime I ask him how he’s feeling, and I tease him about it every time.

“Yeah, but you love it,” he shrugs playfully. I swear, he purposely lowers his voice sometimes. Not that I’m complaining, it’s definitely not unattractive…

“Maybe a little,” I concede with a small smile. “Anyway, I brought you some brownies for lunch,” I said, taking a brown paper bag out of my satchel. “They’re from that bakery we tried a couple weeks ago.”

“Aww, [nickname], you shouldn’t have!”

“Oh don’t you worry about me, I ate like three for breakfast,” I say sheepishly. They really are that good, the baker must be putting crack in them with how addictive they are.

“So you’re telling me I can’t offer to split one with you on the beach?” he asks, bringing out the puppy eyes- at least, more so than usual given that he always has puppy eyes.

“Now how can I say no to that offer?”

“You can��t,” he says with a cheeky smile as he starts walking back to set, noticing the stunt coordinator waving him over.

I wave goodbye to him, and then sneak over to the directors chair to say hi to Jody.

“Aw, look at this blush!” she greets when I meet her, pinching my cheeks. “A certain stuntman got your panties in a twist?”

“Why do I subject myself to you?” I groan.

“Because you love me.” She’s not wrong.

“How’s the scene coming along?”

“Perfectly, I’m just torturing your boyfriend until he agrees to go to karaoke with the rest of us tonight. I think he’s still embarrassed from last time,” she laughs.

Last time he drunkenly sang that Love Story song by Taylor swift and was straight up bawling midway. Everyone laughed and has a recording of it, and holds it over his head.

“You’re pure evil, Jody Moreno, and I very much aspire to be you,” I say, watching Colt get flung into the rock again.

“It’s an art, what can I say,” she shrugs, before grabbing her megaphone.

“Oi, stuntman!” Colt sends over a thumbs up before she can continue her sentence. “I feel like we can salvage that last take…” she smirks.

He groans, out loud. And even from like 25 feet away, I can hear it. And I don’t like how hot I find it.

“All I need is a double thumbs up,” she chides. The rest of the crew is also turned his way, with a lot of snickering coming from our little peanut gallery.

He meets my gaze and I mouth “please” with as much puppy eyes as I can, hoping that he can read my face from where he’s at. He scowls in a comical way, closes his eyes, face dramatically tilted toward the sky before finally looking back at us- at me- with two thumbs up.

“Perfect, that’s a wrap!” Jody exclaims, cackling maniacally after she’s turned off the megaphone. “See you at nine, Seavers!”

He gives a little sarcastic wave, but a smile takes over his face as he meets my gaze again, and I can’t help the way my heart skips a beat when I send a coy wave his way.

***

Colt’s POV

You know that feeling, when your heart starts pumping and you start smiling all stupid, when you’re telling yourself that you’re a dipshit but it’s because she’s just too perfect?

Yeah. That’s y/n to me. Anytime I’m near her I have to remind myself to breathe. It’s like the movies, like some sort of rom com that she loves so much, except better. So much better, if you ask me.

Honestly, I’ve had a crush on her since the beginning. Man, I just used the word crush. For some reason I can hear that dipshit Tom Ryder’s asshole voice in my head, calling me a “pussy bitch”- a personal favorite “original” term of his- for using the word. But I don’t care, because how else do you describe… butterflies.

You know what it is? It feels like a Taylor Swift song. Like a Love Story, if you will. And baby, I just want her to say yes.

I think I need help.

I still remember how flustered she got when I accidentally scared her when I met her that first day.

We had both been running late, me more so than her due to coffee(s- yes, plural) related reasons- it’s an affinity, not an addiction.

I had went to say hi while she was in the middle of doing her own makeup, I think she got bored waiting for me, and she jumped like six inches, and accidentally dragged her makeup brush down the side of her face.

I felt so bad, the look was gorgeous, very northern lights- esque with greens and blues and purples- but at the same time, I was too stunned to speak. Y/n is gorgeous, as it turns out, with or without makeup, and even with a steak of yellow going down her face that would make anyone else look like they had a jaundiced scar.

Thankfully, I still don’t think she noticed my dumbfounded disposition as she ran to the sink.

But the thing is, she’s not just drop dead gorgeous. She’s also the sweetest, cutest woman in the entire world. Her sense of humor- the self deprecations, the sarcasm which perfectly matches mine… how flustered she gets when I’m driving her around, the way she gets cold and smuggles into my side when we sit in the trunk after a night swim, shivering but still trying to talk with her teeth chattering. The way her hand’s so small compared to mine… you get it.

Also, the fact that she doesn’t make fun of me for being a Swiftie.

At least not as much as the others do.

Which frankly, isn’t saying much, now that I think about it.

Anyhow, even after being thrown against a rock four times I’m still not ready to wave the white flag at Jody. I told myself I would never step foot in the karaoke bar again, not after last time…

Sorry, I just got war flashbacks.

<Author’s Note: these war flashbacks sound a lot like Love Story by Taylor Swift>

But then of course, she just had to be on set. She’s got me wrapped around her little fingers, bringing me brownies and calling me a stud. The last straw was the puppy dog eyes from across the set- I have no idea how she hasn’t figured out the effect she has on me. Or maybe she has, and is just an evil genius. I don’t really know.

Not that I need to know, because if the words “Swan dive off of a bridge” fell from her perfect lips I’d probably do it.

Looks like I’m going back to karaoke…

***

Reader’s POV

“Come on, y/n! We’re gonna be late!” Jody yells as she raps her knuckles on the door of my trailer.

“I’m not coming out! I look ridiculous!” I yell back. I had let her pick out my outfit, and she picked out a short black romper with a tight bodice and flowers printed on it. I don’t think it suits me very well, and I’m seconds away from wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I don’t feel like doing my makeup, so that’s one less thing to worry about, at least.

Wait, why is it so quiet now? Where did she go?

“Y/n, this is your last chance,” she warns, apparently having took a quick break from peer pressuring me into coming outside.

“I’m. Not. Coming. Out.”

“Fine,” and for some reason, I can hear the smile in her voice. That’s never good.

“Y/n?” a new, softer, lower, more gravelly voice comes from outside my cabin. For fuck’s sake.

“Colt?” I ask, rubbing my temple.

“Yeah. Can you please let me in?” he asks so sweetly, it would be impossible to say no.

I mentally punch myself before unlocking the door to my trailer, and of course, to no one’s surprise, he looks perfect. Jody must’ve scampered off, because now it’s just me and him. He’s wearing a white tank top underneath a completely unbuttoned black short sleeved button down, black slacks and white shoes. His usual necklace, the gold chain with the small medallion, accompanies the look. His hair is tousled, and I don’t even think I have to mention how pretty his face is- that part’s a given.

“I, um, you-,” he stutters, and then stops to compose himself. “You look beautiful.”

My breath hitches in my throat. The thing about Colt is that if his words aren’t sarcastic- and you can tell when they are- they’re so, so genuine. And he just called me beautiful.

“I- thanks- so do you-“

Did I really just say so do you? By the smile creeping on his face I think I did.

“I’m sorry, I’m being awkward,” I say with an awkward laugh, proving my point. “But you look really handsome.”

“Aw shucks,” he says, his words slightly sarcastic but the blush on his face very real. “Now cmon, we don’t want to be late?”

“But this romper looks so stupid,” I say, drawing out the last word. And you look so stupidly attractive, I think. What if I just kiss him? What’s stopping me from telling him how I feel about him?

“Permission to touch you?” he asks, ignoring my comment.

To… touch me? Fuck, I’ve read far too many romance books. His stupid voice can turn anything into a double entendre, I swear it.

He raises a brow when I don’t answer.

“Uh, sure?” I don’t really know what he’s up to.

“Great,” he smirks, and before I can realize what he’s done he has me slung over his shoulder, like I weigh nothing more than a sack of potatoes. He shuts my trailer behind him as I hit his back, telling me to let me down, but the bastard just starts humming “Livin’ On A Prayer,” by Bon Jovi.

“Asshole! Put me down!” I yelp, but he just holds me steady by my legs as I flail behind him. Curse his actually useful muscles.

Finally, he sets me down in front of his truck, reaching out to steady me. My hands fall on his chest. His very well defined chest. Which perfectly matched his very well defined back.

Colt’s POV

My hand is on her hip, I tried to steady her. But shit. I wish I could just squeeze it, maybe while I’m…

Puppies dying at the end of a movie, Colt. Dead puppies.

We stay there a moment, in front of my truck. Everything in me wants to just tell her how I feel and press her into that truck with kisses that tell her I’m never letting her go. But now doesn’t feel like the right time. But when is? Why wasn’t it at her trailer?

And I just had her over my shoulder too…

Alright, come on, dipshit. Get it together.

But of course, her small hands are on my chest…

Focus.

“You’ve got two options,” I tell her, removing my hand from her hip and holding up a two to make a point. “We go to karaoke and I drive, or we go to karaoke and you drive.”

I can’t let her not go. She loves karaoke, and she looks beautiful regardless of the lies she tells herself.

“Do we have to go? We could just stay home and watch a movie?” she diverts. A smile is playing at her lips though, so at least I know she’s not uncomfortable.

“Tell you what. You can drive,” I start, which is a great start because she hates when I drive and use my stunt skills. To be fair I just do them to show off and get her to slide into me on the long bench. It’s fun, sue me. “We’ll go, and if you still don’t want to be there after my song, then we’re going to come straight back here, get under some blankets and watch She’s All That.”

She’s All That is her favorite movie, in part due to the main plot but I also think she identifies with Freddy Prince Jr’s sister in the movie. She’s a sarcastic makeup/hair artist in the movie, and who do I know that sounds like that? Yeah, exactly.

“I don’t like how well you know me,” she says, biting into her lip as she pretends to mull over what I suggested.

“You’re right, you love how well I know you.”

“Okay, fine,” she says, fully smiling now. “You were serious about me driving?”

“As a heart attack,” I tell her.

‘YES!’ I’m shouting in my head, because I nailed it! Getting a smile like that out of her is the best prize you could ever get, I swear it.

I think the only thing that could be better is knowing that she’s mine.

But that’ll come, eventually.

***

Reader’s POV

Ten minutes later we’re at karaoke. I truly cannot with Colt Seavers, the only person who could make me feel pretty in this stupid ass romper.

He spent the car ride talking to me about his day, which was adorable, the way his nose scrunches up when he remembers something funny, and intermittently singing along to the song on the radio. I love when he lets me drive his truck, I feel like I can taken care of him for a minute and just listen to him. Oh, and I also don’t feel like I’m seconds away from dying because unlike him I don’t stunt drive. Although, I will say, I don’t mind when he does those stupid circles because it always presses me up against his side, which is never a bad place to be.

Right now Gale, the producer who always seems to be drinking a Diet Coke, is singing Toxic by Britney Spears. She has an incredible voice, and the entire bar is rightfully captivated by her stage presence.

“Hey! You made it!” Jody says, walking over to Colt and I. We’re sitting in a booth, on the same side, both slack jawed watching Gale.

“No thanks to you,” I say with an innocent smile.

“If you say so,” she smirks. “Thanks for getting her out of the trailer,” she tells Colt.

“My pleasure,” he says charmingly, squeezing my arm.

“Alright, I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it. Phil Collins is calling!” she dashes off to the stage as Gale is almost done with her song. She must be cued next.

“I see what you did there!” Colt comments after her. Collins and “calling” sound similar with her British accent. I must be blushing-the whole “lovebirds” thing-, because he looks over at me, amused, saying “What? Do I have something on my face?”

I go to answer, but all of a sudden Jody is singing “You’ll Be In My Heart” by Phil Collins, and I immediately pull out my phone to video. Jody has an incredible voice as well, and I love listening to her sing.

Once she’s done, she runs over with Sheila in tow, who must’ve just got here. They lift me up out of the booth- I’m starting to get sick of being man handled- and push me towards the stage against my protests. Colt is laughing- jackass- but all of a sudden “Any Way You Want It” by Journey is playing and I’m singing.

Now, I have a mediocre voice, but the thing about karaoke is that you could sound like a rabid raccoon, but if you have a song that everyone knows, you’re the shit. And also, I don’t really care what anyone thinks of me, so I just went for it.

So naturally, I was the shit. Everyone was singing along, and I couldn’t stop looking back at Colt, who was smiling so big as he sung along. He’s so, so cute. Finally the song was over, and I gave a dramatic bow. Colt met me by the stage, holding a hand for me to grab as I jumped down.

“You were incredible,” he compliments sweetly.

“Thanks,” I say, looking up at him, my hand still in his. His touch is electric, I can feel his heartbeat. His lips are ever so slightly parted, and I’m sure mine are the same… if he would just lean down-

“Is there a Colt “See-aye-vers” in the house?” the emcee asks into the microphone, completely mispronouncing Colt’s last name.

“Fucking Jody,” he mutters. We both turn to see Jody literally cackling by Sheila.

“Your turn!” I say gleefully, pointing at him so the emcee can see him.

“Mean,” he pouts jokingly, before going up on the stage and taking the mic from the emcee as I Was Made For Lovin’ You by Kiss begins to play.

And he’s staring right at me as he sings it.

Well shit.

That’s the thing- apparently all of my coworkers are extremely talented singers. Maybe it was a requirement? Who knows.

Colt is no different.

And the thing is, I’m severely attracted to his voice. The gravelly, yet low and softness of it. I love listening to him talk. Like, he could read the nutrition label of a soup can and I would be completely locked in.

His singing voice? A whole other story. Between the rasp and the range, I could literally lose it right here and now. He sounds incredible.

And he’s looking right at me as sings about being made for lovin’ someone and about that someone being made for lovin’ him.

And I don’t want to assume, but by the way he’s looking at me…

I think that someone is me.

Colt’s POV

Kiss?! Are you shitting me?! That’s the song Jody picks for me?

I should’ve kissed y/n right then and there, I’m thinking as I head up to the stage.

And then there it is. A Kiss song. Not just any kiss song, the Kiss song.

I can work with this.

At this point, I don’t think I can handle her not knowing how I feel anymore. Not knowing if she feels the same way. Fuck “eventually.”

So you know what? I’m going to do my grand romantic act, just like in the movies. And I’m going to sing this damn song, to her.

And if she still doesn’t notice, I’m going to go down there and kiss her until we can’t think straight. Asking permission to before, of course. I’m not a jackass like Ryder.

So I sing the damn song, and my eyes are on only one, singular person. My one, singular person.

And she’s mouthing the words right back to me, her gaze never leaving mine.

I don’t even hear the applause as I jump down the stage, Tom Cruise style, landing right in front of her. “Hey,” I say, trying to sound cool.

Naturally, my voice comes out as a squeak instead.

She doesn’t say anything, just takes a step closer.

“I, um…”

Of course now is the time I decide to choke on my words. Not when I’m singing in front of thirty people, literally never before. But now. Damn it, Seavers. See-aye-vers. Fucking adhd. Shit. Wait.

“Colt?” she says, her voice only loud enough for me to hear. I’m all too aware of the beginning of “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” behind me.

“Yeah?” I whisper. Looking down at her.

“Kiss me?” she asks, and it’s the last straw. My lips crash against hers before I even realize what I’m doing, and it feels like fireworks. Like the whole world could end but it would be fine because her lips are against mine.

***

Reader’s POV

This isn’t happening. There’s no way this happening.

Those are the only thoughts running through my head as I look at him. That song… it was electric. Coming from his voice, as he stared into my soul? I can barely think.

I don’t notice anything, nor anyone. Nothing at all, except for him.

So when he jumps down from the stage in stuntman fashion, looking me in the eyes up close… I can’t help it. I can’t wait any longer.

And now his lips are on mine, as Jody sings more Phil Collins, but I don’t even hear it.

I’m sure we’re going to get teased for it, but I can’t help it.

Not when the only thing I can sense is his soft lips on mine.

So when we finally release, there’s no question about what’s going to happen next.

“Colt..?” I breathe.

“Yeah?” he asks, parted lips already puffy and pink from our kiss. Gorgeous.

“Can we go outside?”

He doesn’t even answer, just grabs my hand and starts walking to the door. Thankfully we didn’t buy any drinks, and have no tabs to settle, because quite honestly I don’t think we’d have cared.

Finally, we stop in front of his truck. I’m smiling like an idiot, and he’s smiling right back.

“Colt, I really, really like you,” I tell him.

“Y/n, I really, really like you too,” he says.

And that’s all that needs to be said as he crowds me against the truck before pressing a kiss to my lips that leaves me giggling.

“What’s so funny?” he teases.

“Everything,” I tell him, before threading my fingers through his hair. He shakes his head bemusedly before kissing me again.

I couldn’t ask for anything more, anything more at all. Because in the words of his favorite song, this is a Love Story and baby, I will always say yes.

#colt seavers #colt seavers x reader #colt seavers x you #ryan gosling x reader #ryan gosling #fanfic #the fall guy 2024 #colt seavers fanfiction

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