#[ i'm a REALLY happy person like all day every day ]

[hotchreid-cm]

Moment of Weakness (2) / Aaron Hotchner

(He's so pretty)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Reader

Summary: The aftermath to the incident in Hotch's office.

Warnings: Typical Criminal minds topics (bombings), rushed and not proofread. Not really a happy ending...

A/N: I wrote a part 2 since so many wonderful people asked. Not sure if I liked it and I got too carried away, oops!

(Read Part 1 Here)

After the incident in Hotch's office you weren't sure that you could face the man again. You felt like you only made his situation worse, which was never your intention.

You had just got caught up in the moment. You had had a crush on Hotch just after your third case with the team. It had taken a toll on you and Hotch offered to drive you home.

And when he parked outside, you just sat there, taking more of his time but he didn't care. He talked to you for what felt like ages, about the case, the team, Jack and Haley...and the crush steadily turned into a quiet pining.

You kept it to yourself of course. You never told anyone, and you obviously did a great job of hiding it because no one suspected a thing. Not even Hotch, which killed you but you'd never ruin a family like that.

You heard how he spoke of Haley and Jack that night over a year ago now and if anything, you were happy that he was happy. Until his confession in his office last night.

JJ pulls you out of your thoughts, "we've got a case. Two bombings in the last 24 hours. We're leaving in 10 minutes, we'll debrief on the jet."

You take the file from her and look it over before grabbing your go bag and heading for the jet.

You were the last but one on which made you frown, "where's Hotch?"

Rossi looked over to you, "personal day. He'll meet us there when he can."

You didn't hear much after that. Your thoughts racing with all sorts of possibilities and hoping none of it was because of you. The guilt sitting in your stomach like a stone.

By the time Hotch caught up to the team, you were all gathered in the precinct talking to Garcia.

Everyone paused the conversation to fill Hotch in. The thinking was a high school student getting revenge. There was at least one victim from every explosion linked to the same school. The others just got caught in the crossfire.

"If that's the case then we need to talk to the parents and close friends of the ones who died and see if anyone had a grudge against them", Hotch says.

"I'll go back to the Denvers and talk to them since I've only just left. They had a son die in the second explosion and the brother may know something. " You jump in straight after Hotch, eager to go back to the family you were trying to help through this.

He shakes his head, "no, you stay here with Reid and try and figure out where he might strike next. Prentiss and Morgan go to the Jason's. Rossi and I will go to the Denvers while JJ handles the media coverage."

Everyone springs into action but you step forward, "you're benching me?"

Hotch turns back to you sharply, "stay here and work the profile with Reid."

"I'm the one that should talk to the Denvers, I've already built rapport" your voice rising.

"Stay here at the station with Reid. That's an order." Hotch turns away and stalks out the office with everyone else giving you sympathetic looks on their way out.

You and Reid work the case. Rossi calls not long after they left saying the Denvers were on the way to a memorial service put on for families of the second explosion but they couldn't say whether anyone held a grudge against their son.

Then Morgan calls, "okay, Jessica Lambert said that Danny Denvers is the one that gets picked on the most at school."

You perk up, "wait, Danny? As in, Tommy Denvers brother who died in the explosion?"

"Yeah, and Jessica also said that Tommy would join in on the bullying so that he could fit in."

You look to Reid in horror, "I thought he was so withdrawn because his brother had just died, not because..."

Reid voices the conclusion you just came to, "Danny Denvers is our unsub."

You pull your phone out and dial Hotch on instinct.

"What?" He answers.

And you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, "the Denvers, you said they were going to a memorial service, was Danny going with them?"

"No, they said he wasn't feeling well. Why?"

"Danny Denvers is the unsub. He got bullied at school and even by his own brother, Tommy."

You hear the car spin around as Hotch says, "we'll go back to the house. Tell Morgan and Prentiss to head to the school. Stay at the station."

And he was gone before you could protest.

After telling Morgan where to go, you stare at the board in front of you.

Reid asks, "what's wrong?"

You shrug, "something doesn't feel right. If Danny wanted to blow up the school he could have just gone this morning. Instead he stayed back."

Reid scrunches his nose, "okay, so what's your point?"

You think back to your time at the Denver house and it clicks. You call Garcia, "hello Mr and Mrs Genius, how can I help you?"

"Garcia, the Denvers said they were going to a memorial service today. Can you tell me where it is?"

You hear the typing before she answers, "I just sent the address to your phone."

"Thanks", you say as you rush to grab car keys from the desk.

"Hotch said you had to stay at the station." Reid says, phone already in hand.

"I'm the closest and I'm not going to be benched because Hotch can't get his head out of his ass."

You race to the funeral home, stepping out of the car and scanning the area for any signs of the service amongst the gravestones.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket like its been doing the whole drive here. You answer to Hotch's booming voice, "do not go in without back up or bomb squad."

You shake your head despite him not being able to see, "bomb squad won't get here in time."

You keep scanning as he replies, "I mean it. Don't approach on your own. Danny profiles like a-"

You cut him off as your eyes land on the scene you were looking for, "a suicide bomber."

You see him with a crudely made vest and a trigger in hand as he screams at his parents.

You take off towards them, phone still to your ear as you say, "Hotch. I'm sorry." Hoping he can hear everything you really want to say.

You hang up and draw your gun as you dodge the people fleeing. You call out, "Danny! Remember me? Is it okay if we talk?"

"I don't want to talk to you. I want them to listen." His wild eyes looking to his parents.

"I know they never listened to you. I know they always put Tommy first, even when he was the one bullying you." You step closer to the Denvers, trying to draw his attention away from them.

Tears stream down his face, "I never did anything wrong! Tommy was the one going to parties and staying out past curfew and he was still the favourite!"

"So you decided to teach them all a lesson?"

He looks to you as sirens wail closer and closer, "well someone had to! No one was going to save me from them so I had to do it myself!"

You finally step in front of the Denvers blocking his view, "and I think you taught the lesson well. Now everyone knows."

You see Rossi and Hotch coming towards you as you gesture the Denvers to go towards them.

Danny watches his parents go with surprising calm as you say, "just give me the trigger so you can tell everyone your story."

With eyes still on his parents he mumbles, "they'll never get it."

You hear Hotch call your name as Danny takes his finger off the trigger.

You dive for cover, landing in the 6ft hole meant for the casket. You feel your body slam into the ground, losing consciousness before help arrives.

When you come to, it's mostly a blur. The hospital checked you over and after some arguing, they agreed to let you go as long as you got checked out back home.

The jet ride back was quiet and once it landed everyone went their separate ways. Except Hotch.

"I'd like to drive you home, if I may?" He asks.

You shake your head, "nah, I'm good. I can wait to hear the riot act on Monday."

Hotch places his hand on your forearm so gently you can barely feel it, "please?"

You stare at each other for a few moments until you finally agree.

Once you're on the road Hotch says, "what you did was reckless."

He says it with a soft voice which is somehow so much worse than if he just yelled at you.

You loved his voice, you loved the comfort he exudes even when he's angry but right now you wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Hotch, please..."

But he continues, "and while it was incredibly reckless, I have to say I owe you an apology."

Your mouth pops open as you turn to look at the man behind the wheel.

He sighs, "if I didn't have my head up my ass, I wouldn't have benched you and made you feel the need to run into danger on your own."

You feel heat rise to your cheeks, "you heard that, huh?"

Hotch shrugs, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, "Reid had already dialled my number when you said it."

Silence descends again until he parks up outside your apartment.

"I'm also sorry for the things I've said."

You stare out the window when you reply, "when?"

Hotch parrots your question with more confusion, "when?"

"Which time? You've been a dick to me ever since that night. It took the both of us to make that mistake. And the funny thing is you're not even angry at me, you're angry at yourself and you're taking it out on me and I don't deserve that."

"You're right, you don't. You deserve so much more. I realised that I could have lost you and...I'm not sure I'm ready to look into why that's terrified me so much. And I know I don't have a right to ask this but I would like it if you waited."

You study his profile, not quite understanding what he's going through but wanting to all the same.

He looks to you and the vulnerability you see laid bare in his eyes takes your breath away, "Me and haley are going through a divorce and a part of me will always love her. Things will be messy for a while but I'd like to take you to dinner...maybe when things calm down, if you'll let me?"

You're not really sure what to say. You've wanted Aaron Hotchner to ask you out for a long time. You've wanted him for even longer. But this isn't how you imagined that would go.

You knew things would be complicated with Haley and you knew he'd always love her in some way and it didn't bother you. But the timing of it all made you feel more like a consolation prize than someone he truly wants.

You reach your palm out until it makes contact with his cheek, you thumb stroking the dark circles underneath his eyes.

"I've been in love with you for a long time, Aaron Hotchner. And all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. And those two things have been in conflict ever since."

His eyes take on a glassy tint as his hand covers your one on his face. He understands what you're saying but you say it anyway.

"I don't think I'm what you need to make that happen right now. And I don't know if I'll ever be that or if I can wait that long for you to figure it out."

You give Hotch a sad smile, dropping your hand and exiting the car. Each step further away from him, makes your chest ache. And you wonder if you'll always carry that ache wherever you go.

A/n: I guess I'm feeling angsty lately but hope you enjoyed all the same!!

[foxglovepng]

Hello! Can I request for Soulmate AU of your choice for Leona, Idia, Floyd and Malleus? Thank you in advance!

Characters: Leona, Idia, Floyd, Malleus

CW: Leona & Idia being haters, Floyd is Floyd. Maybe OOC, Not proofread

A/N: Hello Anon! I am not too familiar with writing for soulmate AU so this will definitely be interesting. I decided to go with the red string one because It's the only one I sort of know.

A/N: I am so sorry if these are short I really do not write for soulmates at all.

If you liked Reblogs and Likes are appreciated <3

🌼🥀

Leona

Soulmate?? PSHHHHH Leona doesn't believe in soulmates. Or so he thought.

His brother met his soulmate and well we all know how that went. Leona had given up on soulmates in general since he could never find the said person.

Going to NRC he didn't think he'd meet them.

When he came across Yuu he saw their strings joined during the spelldrive incident. But that wasn't the topic of conversation that was for another day.

When they came across him again Yuu realized they were soulmates and their eyes gleamed. Leona was like Ugh an was constantly trying to fight it, he didn't really care, but Yuu of course kept pushing. He snapped at them one day and was like

"You're annoying I don't care that you're my soulmate." and then walked away.

Eventually Leona secretly began to miss Yuu's prescense but would never admit it out loud. One day he got fed up and went to go look for them. Some students were ganging up on them and he well scared them off.

"Be careful herbivore I'm not cleaning up your messes again." Liar he would.

At first he hated the soulmate thing, but he's not saying he likes it just doesn't mind it.

Floyd

He is a special case. He doesn't care enough, but he also does care. He's neutral to the soulmate thing, but if he ever did find his soulmate he'd be super stoked to meet them.

When Yuu came to Mostro Lounge to make the deal he found out Yuu was his soulmate then. However he was currently busy so he couldn't do anything about it although he's now super interested in Yuu.

After the whole ordeal he attaches himself to Yuu to learn everything about them, and just to get to hang out with them.

(Yuu literally has to force him to practice because he won't leave their side)

Eventually when they do start having a relationship he's even more loving and affectionate knowing he can kiss and cuddle his little shrimp as much as he wants.

Idia

He can barely handle a social interaction what make you think he will find his soulmate.

He's literally a shut in who is mainly on his computer either programming, doing school work, or gaming he'd not one for social situations.

The only way he found out Yuu was his soulmate was because he coincidentally went outside for club and he ran into Yuu and learned Yuu was his soulmate. Yuu figured it out too and he pulled out every excuse in the book to go back to the dorm.

Bro is not ready for the level 100 boss

Ever since then, he has tried to avoid Yuu. Emphasis on try as Yuu would probably be pushing as he is their soulmate.

Ortho at some point tells him he can't keep pushing away. He won't give up, but Ortho literally invites Yuu over forcing them to hang out.

It will take a while and some work before Idia can work up to the idea of a partner and a relationship, but he eventually does get there.

The second Yuu starts talking about marriage or a baby Idia would ramble about how he's not ready and tell Yuu to slow down.

Malleus

Poor boy has been lonely forever a soulmate would make him feel less lonely and he'd be happy that he has someone to be around. He's been excited to meet said soul mate. He'd been dreaming what they'd look like what kind of person they are what gender they are (Not that gender matters to him)

When he was outside ramshackle and Yuu came out he realized their strings connected. He was happy he found his soulmate and would be even happier if they felt the same way about him.

When he came back from Diasmonia that night he told Lilia he found his soulmate. Lilia was happy so was Silver. Sebek was like WHAT? but he will get over it. (Spoiler he ends up liking and tolerating Malleus's s/o)

Peep Malleus planning the wedding with Lilia as the officiant.

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #41 | 5.28.24 ๋࣭⭑

It's hot girl (/gender neutral) summer season

HAPPY MAY!!

Hope you're all doing well <3 We're already getting into summer, which is a little crazy to me. The year is flying by! Before I get into what we actually did this month, it wouldn't be a May devlog without our annual Mermay celebration!

Look at those locks. His Ariel/Rapunzel era fr

Since I already had updated Mermay pieces for the Alaris LIs, I decided to do one for our beloved Van this year ^^ Hope you all like it!

For writing this month, I spent a lot of it catching up on Etza edits. Being totally transparent, I wasn't Completely Happy with their route when their draft was finished. But now that I've started the editing process with Wudgey, I'm really excited to see how their route is shaping up!!! We've been fleshing a lot of little interactions out with their route, and I can already see Etza's character really starting to shine with these edits ^^

I've also been chipping away at Kuna'a's route! While it's nowhere near finished, I'm hopeful that this upcoming month will be the month of Kuna'a now that I don't have a bunch of releases I'm trying to balance. His route is also one of the ones whose outline is more fleshed out (Druk and Etza I would say were the least fleshed out, which might be why they also took a bit longer). So I'd love to see Kuna'a's first draft complete/almost complete by the next devlog!

This month, I had to dust off my art skills tbh LMFAOIJSDF. It's been.... a WHILE since I've made CGs since I've been in the writing and coding dungeon for so long. So most of this month's art updates are me getting tilted from redrawing an ugly sketch over and over.

I DID manage to get the Van Mermay piece out. And I also was able to sketch out Kayn's Tragic End CG; that leaves only one CG that has to be sketched out! Currently, six of their CGs are finished, two need to be rendered, and one needs to be drawn still.

And since Kayn's CGs are mostly done, I've started drawing Fenir's. I was actually able to finish one because I basically Locked In when I made it, so here is a sneak peek!

Kisses his little pink nose

You might notice there's not toooo many updates on this month's devlog. The reason for that is because this month, I spent a lot of it recovering both mentally and physically. April shenanigans and those back-to-back releases took a lot out of me, and after going full speed basically since this year started, I learned I REALLY needed a break. That coupled with the concussion I got made it so that most of this month was focused on recovering and then getting back into the groove of things.

Another thing I tried to focus on this month was finding a balance in my workflow. Going into this month, I felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown almost every day, in large part because I have a lot of big things I'm trying to accomplish this year. Between finishing my dissertation, Alaris, and a personal big event that I have to plan, I have a lot on my plate this year, and it's made it easy to get overwhelmed as the months pass by. So I wanted to find a balance between all three that didn't make me feel like I was also falling into insanity. After talking to beloved Wudgey of @herotome fame, I've started adopting a schedule that gives me enough structure and flexibility to feel like I'm making progress without going crazy and getting lost in the sauce.

While it's still early in the process, I'm really happy with the balance I've hit, and I'm feeling much more like myself now compared to a month ago!

I caught up on quite a few things in my backlog this month, which made me happy ^^ I always like to learn from and support other devs, so finally being able to return to that helped with the recovery process <3

I don't have any actual fanart pieces, but there are a couple of games I'd like to highlight!

First of all, of course I must talk about our hot girl (/gender neutral) summer cross-promo. If you haven't checked out these games, I can't recommend them enough!!

Links to each game can be found on the Alaris Game page under the magic and mystery otome section!

Specifically, Save the Villainess, The Good People, and Thorn for the Villain are amazing games if you're into thriller/political games layered with mystery

The Silent Kingdom (which I played recently and is AMAZING) and Dual Chroma (Otojam 2023 ALLY) have added mechanics of RPG for exciting action-adventure fantasy stories

Lost in Limbo, Obscura, and Snow White Ashes are BEAUTIFUL dark fantasy games. I've played all three of these and they have some of the most beautiful writing and visuals... BIG FAN OF ALL OF THEM.

Mask Beyond Lies and Sigh of the Abyss have that epic fantasy adventure appeal to them, in a way that I think is similar to Alaris! And Pearlglow Cafe (another Otojam 2023 ALLY) is a very lighthearted and charming game for those of you who like the comfy vibe that most of my stories have!!

Some other games that I played are Favor (@favorvn) by beloved @concreteparasite which is SOOOOO stylish. If you've played Binary Star Hero by Connie, you can expect that same stylish, dark, sultry vibe from Favor. If you haven't checked out either of those games by Connie, I can't recommend them enough, especially if you like yanderes. There is so much aesthetic and atmosphere to them!

I also played Where Winter Crows Go by @prikarin who is a VERY talented developer (and one I'm sure many are familiar with). I had a lot of fun romancing Crowe and both the MC and him have such strong personalities, it was so fun seeing their dynamic!!!! The CGs were also made by anta, who is the dev behind Thorn for the Villain, and they're BEAUTIFULLLLL. Each one has so much style and rly has a professional look to them. Can't recommend enough if you haven't played already ((heads up that it is another yandere game for those who can't do yandere!))

Okay I've yapped enough. If you've made it this far, you are god's strongest soldier LFMASLDIFJ. See you all next month with hopefully some exciting progress!

[memyselfandmya]

CHAOS THEORY S1 REVIEW

So after a day to process the show, I think I am more than ready to finally talk about it and give a full on review. [HINDSIGHT: This review took two days to put together, having to rewatch the show for evidence and to strengthen my ideas, and then having to organize it into something that makes sense. Just know that this is essentially my messy love letter to the show] I will be taking on a more objective perspective and focusing more on the writing aspect rather than my personal feelings, especially as a writer and hopefully future screenwriter. So let's get into it, heavy spoilers below the cut. Like as in I pick out little details that alone might not be a spoiler but I make them into a spoiler.

For starters, the show exceeded my expectations and the writing was phenomenal. Even when choices were made that I personally might not agree with or necessarily want, the execution of them was incredible so I couldn't really care to hate them. Overall, I have no heavy qualms with the show and I loved every moment of it.

It was complex and it was messy and I thoroughly enjoyed that. There's so much going on action-wise, character-wise, and mystery-wise and it's amazing how well balanced it is. What we get is real and raw and largely uncensored. We get conflict between two brothers, conflict between two girlfriends, moments where trust is lacking, and so so much more. It all feels very natural and realistic because that's how real people truly are: complex and messy. Also, even when these characters are going through all of these conflicts, you can still tell that they're family and they love each other.

The creators don't shy away from the trauma either, we get flashbacks, explicit mentions of PTSD and mental health issues, and we actually see Kenji having a panic attack, too. When I tell you, the way these characters were brought to life was so amazing. For all of this to still be considered a kids show is incredible and rarely ever seen. I'm gonna go more in depth with the complexity stuff later on, probably when I get more to the character analysis part of this review.

I like how we get to see more dynamics between groups that we didn't see much of in CC: Ben and Brooklynn, Sammy and Ben, Brooklynn and Yaz, etc.

The humor in this show is top-tier and very much natural. Hardly any of it feels forced and it's very much in-character. Just in general, all of the feelings in this show were amazing. It was a rollercoaster of emotions watching this. I felt happy, I was devastated, I laughed a lot, I felt bad for the characters, I was upset and mad, I was scared (oh boy was I scared), and I was tense with anticipation.

Going off of these feelings, the overall tone of the show was incredible. They said that it'd be darker and it was. There were so many times where I myself was scared and wondered how this show was still TV-Y7. There were so many ominous moments and here are some that I noted:

The moment that black car on the road actually does start following them. You can hear the whistle in the background of ep.3 before the raptors actually come in. Carl’s dead body in the car, and the view of his limp hand. In general the scene where they’re being hunted at the ranch, it’s reminds me of playing hide and seek with my cousins but 10x more darker and with higher stakes. “I don’t hear anything.” “Exactly.” Ugh these moments always hit well. The shoes of the dead police guard. Microbang lady whistling and then stepping out of the car The DPW aiming for the van The allosaurus being released from the vehicle. The dinosaurs watching the dude get eaten.  The garage door opening, revealing micro bangs and then all of the dinosaurs falling silent. The moment where she picks up her whistle because we all know what happens next.  When the atrocirapotor picks up the camper’s scent. You can see the small smile on Microbangs' face when she realizes the kids are there.

I love the rearview/sideview mirror shots, it really symbolizes the constantly looking over your shoulder because you’re being hunted aspect of the show. It adds suspense and questioning which is perfect for a conspiracy show.  

I love the use of Chekhov's Gun and foreshadowing. All of my examples may be exaggerations or unintentional but I'm going to stick with it anyways. In ep.2 when the boys are at the gas station, there are signs that say "Report All Spills!" (maybe these are typically at gas stations, idk) which makes sense because you don't want gas on the ground especially because it's so flammable and then I saw the gas pump fall and gas spill out and I had a feeling about what was going to happen next. Sure enough, a fire started. Also in ep.3, when Sammy steps on the creepy floorboard and she's trying to remember where her pitchfork is, and then when they're being hunted, Sammy knowing to avoid stepping on that board only to stumble into the pitchfork that she had been looking for. Also, the King Dino billboard at the beginning of ep.4.

The animation was stunning and the cinematography(?) was breathtaking. We got so many wonderful views.

The pacing is so good. I’m not going to go over it because that’d be a lot but basically everything felt in the right moment. 

I like in ep.2 how we’re introduced into the very first scene with Brooklynn’s new VA. We have Ben being woken up by a mysterious phone call and a mysterious voice on the other line that we don’t recognize. Who is this mysterious, unknown woman? It’s Brooklynn!

There are people who don't like the fact that Darius and Kenji are arguing again and who think that it's a reused plotline that shouldn't be and I understand the feeling of wanting something different but I also have to disagree. While it is the same thing we have in CC, I genuinely can't think of a different way this could have gone that wasn't more in-character than this. The reason why it's being reused is because that part about Kenji hasn't changed. While he's gone through some amazing emotional development, he still deeply cares about his friends and also about trust. Him not liking it when people play with their lives can still be an important value to him, even with his growth. And I personally feel like in this scenario Kenji's anger and his hurt was especially more justified than in CC because in this case, Brooklynn actually "died" instead of just getting kidnapped. And while I don't blame Darius or hate him for not being there, it makes sense why Kenji does.

This time around, it's going to be a lot harder for them to get on good terms. I also like how this time, it's not as subtle and they are actively jabbing at one another. I also like how it's more mutual. Like with CC I was like, "leave my baby alone, kenji, he's just a little innocent kid." and now I'm like "oh shit, Darius you ate with that." Even when they're arguing, they do still care for each other and there are moments where they still support the other. Then there are the little things that causes Kenji's anger to resurface like the password thing so more fuel is constantly being added. And then the "you and me, we're brothers right?" is absolutely gut wrenching.

One thing I appreciate is how Kenji isn’t even really mad at Darius anymore. Not for him liking Brooklynn, anyways. To me this shows a heightened emotional maturity. Especially since in CC we saw him be petty with his anger towards Darius and even in the early episodes of CT but now he’s bypassing all of his personal qualms and getting to what matters most to him without the extra pettiness: why wasn’t he there for Brooklynn? Why wasn’t he there for the people he loves. Kenji’s relationship with Brooklynn isn’t important. The fact that Darius fell for his ex doesn’t matter. What matters to him is that Brooklynn, someone they both (all) deeply cared about died, and the guy who loved her wasn’t there when she needed him. The tenderness and the softness of this scene was way more impactful and sorrowful than had Kenji angrily went after Darius. This makes the conflict still feel different from the one we saw in CC. All in all, I think their conflict adds to the complexity and (realistic) messiness of it all.

Even though I’m not the biggest Brookenji/Kenlynn fan, seeing them drift apart was so disheartening to watch because you can tell that Kenji really cared about Brooklynn and he was putting so much effort into the relationship when Brooklynn was distracted. I like how even though I’m not a big fan of the ship, I’m still convinced to root for them which shows compelling writing. But the baby talk fucking ruined it. I’m back to not liking it. The whole breakup situation very much reminded me of the episode of CC where Brooklynn is late to the date because they were out investigating. Again, I’m glad that Kenji is sticking up for himself though, and distancing people when they need to be distanced. I also love the little detail of Kenji calling Darius’ mom every week. Just emphasizes that he’s still a family man and doesn’t forget the people who helped him.

“I’m in a really good place now, and I got here by myself.” This line is so impactful to me because in early CC we know Kenji to be lazy and somebody who expects everything to go his way without putting in the effort so this is, one, very symbolic of his development as a character, and two, explains why he’s so proud of where he is now and his business that he’s got going on--even if it doesn’t look to be as successful. It makes sense why he’d be so protective over what he’s made for himself. I really respect him for putting up that boundary because he’s so right; Daniel doesn’t deserve him much less to speak to him, and Kenji doesn’t deserve to put himself through that emotional turmoil when he’s finally reached a good place. I think it makes it even more impactful when he does choose to go especially because it’d be totally valid if he didn’t. And then not only being subject to more of his dad’s manipulation but also having to witness him die.

I’m actually surprised and very happy that Dreamworks didn’t go the redeeming Daniel route. I would have expected this kind of show to make Daniel forgivable but he’s still a bad person and a manipulative father who hasn’t changed much. To me it seems more realistic because Daniel doesn’t seem like a character who learns his lesson and it furthers the plot with the whole Brooklynn thing. Also, Daniel's sacrifice is not a redemption. He's still a bad character. I don't know if any of you are familiar with Dreamworks' other show, She-ra Princess of Power, but there's an abusive mother figure in it, Shadow Weaver, who also sacrifices herself for the characters she abused, but before that she was still manipulative the same way Daniel was. They both died before they could truly change their ways and atone for their actions which is why it's not a redemption. Daniel Kon did not redeem himself by saving Kenji.

I also actually like Daniel’s death, and no, not just because I hate him as a character. In season 5, he’s the big bad antagonist that the kids have to go up against, and he’s a real threat, right? Do the raptors care about Daniel’s villain era? Do they care that he was a big character in the OG show? No. And that shows that the writers don’t care either (but in a good way). Because we don’t have any of the main Nublar Six dying (except for Brooklynn sorta ig??), there’s a lot of opportunity to call plot armor and stuff and say that the writers are pulling their punches. But they’re willing to kill one of the big antagonists from CC in a random episode, so, to some extent, there is minimum plot armor. You can be a great big villain and still these dinosaurs will kill you.

Also, this gives us so much opportunity with Kenji’s character. We get to see what it looks like having to grieve the life of somebody who you hated and who abused you and yet still be devastated over his death. Showing Kenji breakdown over Daniel’s death adds an entirely new layer of complexity to the story line. It’s so much more impactful than having Kenji be apathetic towards his death or be like, “good riddance.” The detail of Kenji speaking at the end really gave all the more impact to the entire episode.

Kenji’s panic attack in ep.7 is really powerful. First, the wonderful cinematography (the watering of Kenji’s eyes, omg) and the 1st person pov segments. Then we have the voice acting, chef’s kiss. Just the flat out impact of this scene all together: Kenji balling his eyes out after the death of someone who doesn’t even deserve his mourning is heart wrenching. I hate Daniel and I’m glad he’s dead, but also seeing Kenji break down over it almost makes me wish he wasn’t. By far one of the saddest scenes in the show.  Again the cinematography of it. Darius hugging a sobbing Kenji in the middle of a field with the car’s red lights beaming on them. Then Mateo just standing there awkwardly. LMFAO.

It’s cool because we have this gut wrenching moment and then we’re immediately brought into a feeling of awkwardness with this random new character there and it’s so jarring but fitting because you have these two moments where Kenji’s grief but also the need to keep moving coexist and one needs to take priority over the other but the other one is still important. I’m just saying we are feeling what the characters in the show feel, which is good. Then we have Kenji going ballistic on Mateo’s ass and man the emotions packed into the scene.

Also Mateo. I want to trust him, and I do. But there’s also a suspiciousness to him. I love him though. But, it felt oddly convenient that he was able to locate them so many times. He says that his daughter helped him track them but how does his daughter of all people track them when they’re moving all over the place and also the way he talks about her, “I’ve got a little girl back home,” and the pan over to the crayon drawing made me picture a young child. His story is interesting though, too, and complex for a side character. Just feels a bit like a suspicious deus ex machina.

I love how the others are so in tune with one another and then Mateo says something and they all jump, forgetting he’s there. They are all very much close with each other and oblivious to the people around them. He's definitely out of the loop. Darker thought, what if at some point (or now, even) his daughter gets kidnapped/held hostage by the hunters so he’s forced to mislead the camp fam in order to keep her safe?

The opening scene of ep.6 is top tier and I love how we’re getting right down deep into the good stuff, and by good stuff I mean the trauma. The portrayal of Yasmina’s PTSD is so incredible to see and all of the flashes of dinosaurs really put us in Yaz’s mind. Also the heartbeats sounds just make this an even more intense scene. What’s also amazing is that we see Yaz making progress with handling her trauma but she’s still struggling with it too. Complexity. What I also love is how Yaz’s PTSD has allowed her to become more equipped to manage her trauma more than the other campers have, and because she’s able to grasp a hold of it so well, she’s able to help Sammy manage her own anxiety, too. 

I feel as if Ben is almost reverting back into his pre-Nublar self and also like the Ben we saw in CC’s “At Least…”. He’s become a lot more paranoid and on edge which is very interesting to see. Ben being completely wary of the gas station attendant and being unwilling to stop is a major display of Ben’s anxiousness. Could the fire in ep.2 be symbolism for Ben’s paranoia in that episode? I may be looking too deep into it, but think about it. The spilled gas is all of Ben’s conspiracies and theories; alone, it’s not much of an obvious problem but when paired with the right ignition, a spark or being hunted by raptors, for example, it turns into an uncontrollable problem. Ben’s paranoia causes him to be irrational and unconsolable just like that fire and needs to be be extinguished so it doesn't destroy anything. I also like the little detail of Darius noticing the car on the side of the road in ep.2 and becoming suspicious about it. But then Ben thanks Darius for keeping him grounded so Darius doesn’t mention anything about the car in order to not send him back to the state of paranoia he was in earlier.

Then we also see Ben’s anxiousness in the beginning of ep.4 about Bumpy. Seeing him so concerned about her really tugs on those heart strings because you can tell the love between them runs deep. The passion in ep.9 is so incredibly palpable especially when he’s panicking and crying at the sound of Bumpy being abused. I really felt that scene because I know that watching someone you love get abused and not being able to stop it is so emotionally overwhelming The emotion packed into that scene, holy shit. 

I also just love how we’re allowing men to cry. It’s so normalized in media to have the guys always being tough and masculine men who never sheds a tear but we are really knocking down the toxic masculinity in this show and normalizing men displaying emotion (beyond anger). We see all of the boys in this show break down: Kenji, Ben, Darius, and never once does them crying make them embarrassed or emasculated. Even in CC, the boys were allowed to show feelings and it didn’t weaken their masculinity at all. It’s really powerful and I’m glad we’re stepping away from the “boys don’t cry” narrative.

Back to Ben’s character, I was a little bit disappointed with his character arc, or lack thereof, in the middle episodes. Sometimes it felt as if he was only there for comedic relief and was emotionally detached from Brooklynn’s death. Maybe there’s intent behind this but I’m not sure. 

I don’t know what to think about the whole girlfriend thing. Maybe Ben just made up the girlfriend thing to get Sammy to get rid of her phone lmao but ended up running with it. I do love how everyone’s surprised about Ben having a girlfriend because me too guys, me too. And it’s not because he eats out of a boot and pees in a jar (it is) but because I thought he was gay. Like with the whole rejecting Yaz scene in CC always gave me that implication. Now, he could still always be bi or pan which would be just as cool, but still just the fact that he has a random ass girlfriend. But also how is he maintaining a long-distance relationship when he’’s completely cut off from the grid. A part of me wants to believe that Ben has a girlfriend especially when he questions why everyone is surprised but also… idk. Ben does seem to understand how Yaz is feeling with relationship stuff to a degree. But I don’t know. I like some of the theories I’ve seen: that Ben is being catfished by Brooklynn, in particular. In theory I giggle a bit but in practice that’d low-key be a fucked up thing to do to Ben’s emotions. I find it harder to believe that Ben is doing the girlfriend to cover up that he’s gay because he knows that his friends will be accepting (although doesn’t change that coming out to them could still be hard) but also because I feel like he would at least tell Yaz because in S5 of CC they had that deep talk about Yaz’s sexuality. A part of me believes that the cargo ship is going somewhere to Europe and when they get there Ben will call on his girlfriend for help. If she is real, I hope she's badass and pretty so she can contribute to the plot and I can fall in love with her. Wait, what? Maybe down the line when I have more theories about Ben and his supposed girlfriend I’ll make a separate post. 

“Don’t you dare throw my phone out the window, Benjamin.” Sammy’s so much of a powerful force now. I love her fierceness and sassiness, it’s definitely a different look from her character in CC. But also, she’s still in character, just matured, changed, and acquired that “tough love” attitude. Paired with how a little later in the episode when she goes to save the dinosaurs, it shows how Sammy (and the rest of the characters) might have changed since CC but are still the same at their core. Very much getting flashbacks to the Art of Chill episode. Sammy still has the passionate sense of righteousness but with more attitude and I’m 100% here for it.

I also want to talk about the whole Sammy as a suspect thing. I love Ben and I’m glad they made up at the end but also can you imagine how hurtful it must be for Sammy? Like it sucks for her that a decision she made years ago (and was cleared up) in order to protect her family comes back to bite her, from one of her closest friends too. For one of her besties to not trust her must hurt a lot, especially after everything they’ve gone through together. Trust in general is an interesting motif in this show. We have Darius having to learn to trust Ben and his theories, the whole Darius and Kenji trust conflict thing, Ben being untrusting of Sammy at first, and Yaz and Sammy having to learn to trust each other again. 

Back to Sammy’s character, I want to take a moment to talk about Sammy’s mental health; like she’s really not doing well and I’m genuinely worried about her. From CC we know her to be a very social person who’s rarely ever alone and we even have the episode in S5 of CC where her entire arc is learning to do stuff on her own. So in CT, seeing Sammy living all alone in Texas with nobody (nice) around is so jarring and worrying to me. That scene where she reunites with the boys is really sweet, especially knowing that it’s probably one of the first few moments where she’s not isolated from any of the people she loves. It’s also probably another reason why she’s even more “Sammy” than usual. Then you have Sammy saying, “Just busy. It’s only me around here with Yaz up north finishing school, and my parents…we just don’t talk much anymore, but that’s okay! I’m keeping busy.” We can definitely notice that Sammy is not handling this isolation thing well and her coping mechanism is very much busying herself. What I really want to know though is why Sammy isn’t talking with her family.

But back to the main point, it’s also the way that Sammy’s character naturally influences the plot and pacing of episode three. Ben and Darius have something urgent they need to tell Sammy but her inability to stay still is preventing them from doing so which creates a natural conflict.

Additionally, in retrospect Sammy's coping mechanism was obvious: the mock interviews we got where it’s said, “Back at home, Sammy Gutierrez maintained that positive attitude by staying busy. ‘I have my own ranch, now. And my girlfriend Yaz. And tons of pies to bake! We don’t have time to keep worrying about all that running for our lives stuff!’” Even before this, she’s fallen into that heavy positivity that’s borderline unhealthy by trying to shove everything under the rug. All of the positive sayings on her wall also feel symbolic of her trying to maintain a positive outlook on her life. Her line “I’m so sick of making pies,” while possibly just for humor and a throwaway line, it could represent how this false positive narrative that Sammy has going where she’s keeping busy around the house and baking pies isn’t satisfactory and is also crumbling. Maybe even the first pie burning could be symbolic of her positive life failing (or maybe I’m looking too deep into it). Also that scene where she straight up hallucinates and sees Brooklynn for a second? That scene is so haunting and utterly heartbreaking. This is sort of the nail in the coffin that Sammy is not doing well mentally at all. In this scene too, her sadness is also heavily emphasized. Her eyes watering is such a sad detail and also you can kind of notice that her under-eye area is dark and red too. This might just be the lighting, but I feel that it really emphasizes that Sammy is really struggling and all of this business and fake positivity is getting to her. And then immediately after, she deflects and continues what she’s doing. Darius begging Sammy to stop and Sammy’s response being, “Stop and think about Brooklynn dying, or my family not speaking to me, or Yaz pulling away from me? No… I can’t stop. I won’t.” There is a lot to unpack there. First, we have another mention that Sammy and her family aren’t talking and I want to know why. Secondly, she is definitely struggling with growing isolated from the people she loves and with Sammy’s character valuing her connections with her loved-ones it makes it all the more impactful. I wish we got to see more on this but then we get interrupted by the action just as Darius is about to say something. It's a really sad scene though. In ep.4 we see Sammy being more anxious, especially with Yaz not answering her calls. In that one scene after the parasaurolophuses, Sammy is completely distraught and it’s sad to see. I don’t even think she herself even fully realizes her mental health issues. The anxiety Sammy is experiencing is also highlighted in ep.7. Granted, they are in a sinking, soggy van and I’d be panicking too but damn. She’s also panicking in the beginning of ep.9, but now, instead of Sammy keeping her body busy from her mind, her mind is keeping her busy from her body and making her forget how to breathe.

“I know she doesn’t always answer, but at least she texts back or maybe just gives a thumbs up, even though she knows I hate those. Cause they give me passive-aggressive vibes, but I know she doesn’t mean it that way. But I got that girlfriend intuition that something ain’t right.” Poor Sammy, she is very clearly anxious about this whole thing and it especially shows with how she bounces her phone around. I like how this conflict between Yaz and Sammy is building up before they even see each other, starting with Yaz not answering the phone call and Sammy getting anxious. The split up thing also gave me a mini heart attack too Ben, don’t worry. “Why, did she say something?” Sammy, please. You’re not okay. In ep.6 with the “I’m working really hard to get my anxiety in check, but Sammy still treats me like a fragile flower,” again, I appreciate how we see the cracks in Yaz and Sammy’s relationship beginning to form even before the events of CT. The buildup is really strong in the show. Quick break but I have to say I just love Sammy’s profile picture they are so cute. Also, Yaz’s uncertainty about answering the phone call, too. The tension between them is clear as day on that phone call. And then we have Sammy coddling Yasmina by trying to hide the truth from her and it’s all in good intention, really sweet how Sammy wants to protect her, but is that what Yaz needs or wants? “Her PTSD is still affecting her that badly?" “Well, to tell you the truth, we really haven’t talked much lately. She’s so busy and when we do catch each other, she acts like everything’s good, but…” The conflict is so interesting because you have Yaz pulling away because of Sammy’s overbearingness and then when Yaz pulls away, Sammy gets anxious and therefore more overbearing so it just creates this cycle that could be put to a stop by communication but they’re both scared. Both of their coping mechanisms are doing damage to each other and so they fall back on these coping mechanisms even more. “Call it a hunch, or girlfriend’s intuition,” call it anxiety, Sammy. At this point everything she says or does is a subconscious cry for help. Back to the relationship conflict, it’s nice knowing that even if they are fighting, their fight is based off of wanting the best for the other and love. Also both of their feelings in this fight are valid, Yaz wanting Sammy to not treat her like she’s fragile and Sammy not wanting Yaz to pull away from her. Again with the cycle. Oof, the pain in her voice when Yaz says “you still treat me like a child instead of your girlfriend!” Kausar really ate with that. Anyways, we have that scene where they almost down and Yaz calms Sammy proving to her that she’s not as fragile as Sammy thinks she is. Then when they get out we have a resolution moment where Yaz says, “I guess we need each other, huh?” Showing that, instead of that unbalance of overbearingness, they can equally need the other to ground them and keep them calm. 

When Sammy and Yaz reunite, they’re really happy but also out of sync a bit, when they go in to kiss but end up bumping heads. Then after they resurface after nearly drowning, they’ve reached a better understanding of each other, and then they kiss a lot more smoothly, showing that they’re back in sync.

For the Benrius shippers out there, this also parallels how Darius and Ben were a bit out of sync and a little rocky, but at the beginning of ep.3 we see Ben and Darius have fallen back into their natural rhythm: Ben says “chip me” and Darius effortlessly tosses it and Ben catches it in his mouth. I just appreciate these little details and moments of closeness and also the parallels.

Can we talk about how we have alternating arcs/paths with Sammy and Yaz? Like, we see Yaz becoming more confident in how she handles and reacts to her trauma and making significant progress with her PTSD. Then we have Sammy who’s slowly slipping into a poorer mental state when she was known for being better able to manage her trauma from Nublar. Then along with this, we have Yaz stepping into the more “caretaker” role when Sammy was the one who usually has control over the situation. The van sinking scene in ep.7 is a perfect example. Sammy's panicking when her seatbelt gets stuck and Yaz is the one to ground her. I just want to take a closer look at this scene because it’s so sweet, too. The way Yaz first takes Sammy’s hands but then after realizing how much Sammy’s panicking, she cups her face and gets her to focus. It’s just such a tender moment. (And then parallel with that, the scene where Kenji has a panic attack and Darius is the one to support him in the midst of their argument. I just love a good parallel.) (Another parallel, Darius grounding Ben when he was paranoid in ep.2) But there’s also that scene early in ep.9 where it’s Sammy who’s completely freaking out and Yaz being the level-headed one. 

Going back to the conflict between them, we see a moment of growth in that scene. After Sammy’s anxiousness causes her to be reckless, she apologizes which opens the floor for a well needed discussion about how they need to work as a team and trust one another. While the main discussion about how their coping mechanism end up hurting each other hasn’t happened yet, we still get to see them repairing the cracks in their relationship. Instead of Yaz pulling away when Sammy becomes anxious and overbearing, we see her acknowledge Sammy’s anxiety and comfort her instead, so that Sammy doesn’t go farther into that anxious state and the cycle is interrupted. It’s cool how they made their mental health issues cause problems in their relationship. Not in a “oh I can’t handle my girlfriend’s PTSD and she’s too much for me,” but in the way of “My girlfriend really cares for me in relation to my PTSD and it’s sweet but it also feels like she’s babying me” and “my girlfriend is going through a really tough time right now and I want to be there for her but she keeps pulling away from me.” Although, in a way, Sammy’s anxiety does become overbearing for Yaz, but even then it’s not in a she’s being too much but rather her anxiety is only causing her to be treated in a way she doesn't want to be treated. While scary and uncomfortable, I’m really glad that Yaz and Sammy had that conflict because it shows that couples can argue and still love each other. Just because there’s a problem in the relationship doesn’t mean the relationship has to end there, it just means that you have to come together and acknowledge the issue and then work together to fix it. 

Darius’s reaction to Brooklynn’s death, my god. And hearing Darius’ voice calls that he left Brooklynn…devastating. Him hiding in the bath tub after giving the phone and sinking down in it; he really is ashamed of his feelings and it’s sad. But also the tenderness in Kenji’s voice when he confronts him? He’s no longer angry with Darius, just wants to understand. And the way that he doesn’t even get mad when Darius tells him he was in love with B… (maybe he understands how B is a very lovable character.)

But back to the grief, the moment where they’re all looking at the allosaurus that supposedly killed Brooklynn is devastating. They are finally united in their grief over Brooklynn. Boy, at least one of them is going to be pissed when her survival is revealed. And then also how they all worry over Bumpy too, it just really symbolizes how they’re still a family after everything. I love how Ben and Sammy are basically co-parents now. And remember that episode where Sammy was trying to get Bumpy to like her? Oh how far we’ve come. I flat out believed that she was dead, the writers definitely got me with that one. Well played, Bumpy. Well played.

I will say that Darius’s confrontation with Cabrera didn’t feel fully earned. We only saw him in one other scene and only heard about him in another scene so Darius’ moment of realization fell a little short on me. I think it could have been better had we saw an earlier interaction with him and Darius that may give us more conflicting opinions on whether or not he’s good. Because when we first saw him with Sammy, Yaz, and Ben, I was 90% sure that he was bad because of the three’s unbiased narrative. But had we gotten an interaction with Darius where he seemed a lot less questionable as a character it would have brought my doubt to more of a 50%. It also would have made Darius’ almost betrayal feeling in ep.10 more warranted because we saw them personally interact so it’d make Darius’s “You’re the one behind this? You’re selling Dinosaurs? DPW is supposed to protect people from dinosaurs.” hit harder. 

The micro bang lady reads the raptor’s body language so well. She’s also compassionate towards them which is a heavy difference from this other dinosaur corruption we’ve got going on where they are carelessly abusing dinosaurs. She sees the raptors absolutely wiped out and retreats which is an absolute power move and shows she cares. It’s a choice that humanizes her along with the cuddling of a fucking raptor, which is interesting since most of what we’ve seen so far has been very uncanny with her robotic movements and unblinking eyes. She scares the shit out of me but lowkey...

she looks really badass and hot in this scene. I see what some of yall are talking about.

The action sequence in ep.10? Amazing. 10/10. The parallel with Jurassic World? Heart stopping. The dead silence except for the footsteps and dinosaur breathing? Immaculate. Best scene in the entire show, maybe in animated history. 

At the end, we also have a shift from the characters being forced to react to all of the stuff thrown at them, like a defensive, but then we see them make the decision to go on the cargo ship and now they get to take a more “offensive” approach. Then we also have Darius stepping back into that leader role. 

I just hope that since the characters are no longer stranded on a deserted island that they can finally get a change of outfits if they happen to get dirty. Please don’t let them walk around in the same dirty clothes again, please. 

Now, probably one of the more controversial parts. Dinostar… Now, I’m a multi shipper and I’ve never had a problem with the ship itself but even then I was skeptical of this creative choice. 

I feel like it’d be more impactful if they kept dinosaur platonic showing that Darius doesn’t need to be in a romantic relationship with his friend in order to feel a significant amount of grief for her. Now, I know that even if Darius wasn’t in love with Brooklynn, he probably still would have had the same reaction but still, the interpretation of his feelings has still changed. How necessary was this?

But also the power in the unrequited dinostar. Having Darius only realize his feelings for Brooklynn, especially after her staying at his place, it's natural. It adds to the very real complexity of human feelings. “I never meant for it to happen. It just…happened.” Darius’s feelings are still natural and organic and he’s still kind of ashamed of them. Darius’s “I didn’t even think I could feel that way,” was what really got to me. If it was because he always saw Brooklynn as a friend it shows how these sort of feelings can sneak up on you, but I also see it as, “I didn’t think I was able to have crushes on people” which speaks to me a lot. It feels very aligned with the demi-aroace experience and as someone who’s demi-aroace I care about this a lot. It’s such a confusing and difficult experience, worrying about if you’re even capable of falling in love with someone, trying to disect the difference between platonic connections and romantic ones, and the shame you feel when you think you might be interested in someone who’s supposed to be your friend. It’s messy and real and seeing Darius possibly experiencing that makes me feel less alone. Anyways, I like how even in both directions Darius can still be on the aroace spectrum.

“If I was really in love with Brooklynn, I should have been there.” This line makes me wonder if he’s still doubting his feelings for Brooklynn. The “I couldn’t face her after that. I was too embarrassed. So I didn’t show up that night.” Darius being embarrassed is so real. I once confessed to a girl I thought I liked and was rejected, albeit gently for the most part, and I still can’t look at her the same way. This was with someone I wasn’t close with so I can only imagine what it was like for Darius, the embarrassment. It’s such an impactful thing too. Darius's natural and realistic reaction to getting rejected and not being able to face her having drastic consequences in this new world of dinosaurs and being hunted by them. It’s just the complexity of the story that’s what really makes this work.

“She tried to be nice about it, but it was clear she didn’t feel the same.” I wonder if this is what really happened or just what Darius interpreted it as. I’m hoping that it remains unrequited. Seeing the guy not get the girl would be something new and interesting. I could also get behind dinostar but only if it’s done right and to be done right it’d need a lot of time. But I also don’t think I want to see any of them in a relationship just yet. Especially Brooklynn and especially now. I think that she’s way too deep into this conspiracy and should focus on that instead of a relationship. That’s definitely where her mind has been at lately, anyways. I also worry that this might turn into a love triangle which I’m never a big fan of. I’ve also seen some people say that this love triangle/Darius’ feelings will probably weaken the integrity of Brooklynn’s character and reduce her to a love interest, and, for a while, I agreed. But now my opinion has shifted. So far from what we’ve seen, Brooklynn’s character seems to be going on an interesting arc and I have faith that the writers won’t weaken that in favor of focusing on her romantic interests. The writing for this season has been amazing and if they keep it up in season two it can probably be successfully pulled off. And already with the way it’s been written, I don’t think Brooklynn is ready for a relationship at the moment. 

Now Brooklynn...

I was one of the people who was convinced Brooklynn was alive but while watching the show I actually began to doubt that theory and there was a moment where I was sure she was actually dead. I know there are a couple of people unhappy about the fact that Brooklynn isn’t actually dead, and I get that. Especially coupled with the Darius vs Kenji conflict it may feel like CT is copying too much from CC with Ben’s fake death instead of being original and committing to it. And that’s totally valid, especially for a serious plot line like a character death. I do, however, have faith that the writers of CT will execute her fake death well though. Because that’s the thing with CC/CT. Most of the time, even the not so strong ideas are well executed and integrated into the plot smoothly. With Ben’s fake death, it gave the opportunity to strongly develop Ben’s character more than it could if he had ended up on the island with the campers. His solo experience after his “death” molded him into a very different character from the boy we saw in the early episodes. It changed him drastically and that was the redeeming factor. So, I have hope with Brooklynn. It already seems like she’s on a strong path of character development and it seems like she’s going completely undercover to unbox this international dinosaur corruption scheme. Not to mention, she’s missing part of her arm, so that’s also a drastic change. Brooklynn being alive opens up a lot of opportunities, especially to delve into her trauma that she might have acquired from losing a hand. Not only that, but the others still think she’s dead so we won’t lose that mourning aspect, in fact it might make it even more impactful knowing that she is alive and that Brooklynn’s fake death is causing this much pain to her friends.

This could also introduce some conflict within the group once it is revealed to them that Brooklynn is alive because they spent all of this time mourning her and suffering from some severe mental health issues only for her to actually be alive without telling them. Me personally, I’d be upset going through all of this emotional turmoil for a dead friend only for her to pop up knowing she could have prevented all of it. We can also see different reactions from the 5 of them. Maybe someone will be angry at her and some might just be really happy she’s alive and some might not even believe she’s actually alive. I’m just gonna say that it is fucked up that Brooklynn is just allowing her friends to suffer from mourning her and that I’d totally understand if any of the camp fam were mad at her. In fact I need to see that. Then there’s all of the secrets she’s keeping from them, too. I wonder if we might see a sort of negative character arc because Brooklynn has been neglectful towards her friends, especially Kenji which caused the whole breakup in the first place, and then multiple times Brooklynn’s true intentions have been unclear and shady. I wonder if there’s any symbolism we can pick up from her hair which is always changing.

Overall, I’m excited to see what they do with Brooklynn’s character and how her fake death affects the others. I’m always willing to compromise with my feelings and the decisions made so long as they well execute their unfavorable choices. 

As for the reveal, I feel like it could have been dragged out a little bit longer. I think a perfect place to stop would be right at Ronnie receives the text. Because in my mind at that moment, there were two ideas that I had. One, Ronnie could have been one of the corrupt DPW workers, or she could have been working with Brooklynn. I think that that confliction would have been a great place to end especially because either way, it leaves you question that entire interaction she has with Darius in the first episode. Is Ronnie going to be bad and betray Darius? Or is she good and helping Brooklynn who's alive. I understand in the grander schemes of things why they did it; showing Brooklynn alive (and handless) at the very end will make viewers want to come back and see what happened with her. I just hope they keep her being alive unknown to the rest of the campers for a while longer for that added tension or whatever. I feel like if anything they might reveal her to the camp fam at the end of season 2.

Now let’s talk about that hairstyle. When I first saw it at a distance paired with the whole ensemble, it looked really badass. But up close? I don’t like it. 

At first I was going to say that Sammy carried the plot, because she did. Then I was like, “well, Ben also carried the plot too.” Then it was “If Sammy carried the plot then so did Yasmina.” That “boo” did a lot for me. But then I was thinking of the discourse between Darius and Kenji and they also both carried the plot. So, long story short, they all carried which is amazing. It means that it was well balanced and every character had a significant role in the story. 

In short, there’s a lot of things that were phenomenal in this show, however, there were a few things that can only become/remain great if they’re addressed in season 2. There were a lot of throwaway lines in the show that was loaded with context we didn’t have and hinted to a separate conflict. 

Twice we hear Sammy say how she’s not in contact with her family and then it’s never brought up again. I want to know why this is, even If it doesn’t have a drastic effect on the overall plot. Then we see Sammy hallucinate Brooklynn but then that’s the only time it happens. Is it bad that I want to see more of that? I just really want to see Sammy’s trauma unloaded in season 2. In ep.6, Sammy says “Remember how [Yaz] got when the dinosaurs made it to the mainland?” It seems really heavy and I want to see this. I want to know what the groups initial reactions to one, the dinosaurs back on the mainland, and two, Brooklynn’s death. We also hear Darius sort of allude in ep.1 that Ben might have had a harder time adjusting to being back on the mainland, especially with the “don’t patronize me, Darius!”

I’m hoping that some of these lines are just seeds being planted early on so that we can see them grow in season 2. One thing I hope we get is more flashbacks, seeing what all of these lines are referring to. Sammy’s family issues. Yaz’s reaction the dinosaurs back on mainland. Also, seeing flashbacks to Brooklynn with Darius in the cabin. We got flashbacks for everyone else except him so it’d be nice to see, and also give us something more substantial for Darius’s feelings. My guess is that there won’t be as many action scenes when they’re hiding away on the ship so we can get more flashbacks and have some more downtime to explore the groups trauma, regain some more of that “full” group dynamic, and just in general put more focus into the characters rather than plot. 

The writing in this was amazing, especially for a kids show, and I hope we get to see more of this amazing writing carried on to season 2 soon. If you stuck with me this long, I appreciate you.

[skzimagines]

Part 22 ❤︎

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

Characters: | Obsessive!Hyunjin | Lee know | Female Reader | All of Skz | y/n’s friend. |

Genre: | Polyamory!relationship |

Warnings: | 18+ Minors dni | Smut | swearing | alcohol | threesome activity |

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

"Y/N, will you marry me?"

Tears well up in my eyes. “Hyunjin.. you can’t be serious.” I say, covering my mouth. “Oh I’m serious, more than you know.” He says with a smile. It takes a whole minute before I process the fact I haven’t given him an answer. I quickly start nodding my head before a broken “yes” leaves my mouth with a sob.

He quickly stands up and pulls me into a huge hug, picking me up and spinning me around. He puts me down gently and brings my left hand up to slide the ring on. “It’s beautiful.” I whisper, staring at it in awe. “It’s even more beautiful on you.” He says back.

•

Back at the group, everyone’s sitting around the fire anxiously waiting for hyunjin and y/n to return.

“How do you think it’s going?” Seungmin asks. “She’ll say yes. No doubt about it.” Felix says. “Yeah…” Minho says quietly. Everyone looks at his direction, throwing him apologetic looks. “Are you okay?” Ash asks. Minho gives her a small smile before muttering a quick yeah. Han gives Minho a small pat on his back and a smile. “It’ll be okay, she’ll come around.” He says. “If only it were that simple.” Minho stutters. Everyone sits in awkward silence for what seems like eternity, before Changbin makes a joke to change the subject.

•

"There you guys are!" Felix yells, as we make their way back to the group. "Sooo....?" Ash starts to say. I quickly hold my left hand up with a huge smile on my face, showing everyone this beautiful ring placed on my finger. Everyone screams at once, running toward us and engulfing us into giant hugs. "I'm so happy for you two!" Jeongin says, pulling Hyunjin into him. I give him a big smile, until I see Minho standing behind him. He has a smile on his face, but I can tell that it's being forced. My heart shatter at the sight. It's been months since I've talked to him, months since I've given myself the chance to forgive him. How could I possibly still have any feelings for him. I'm an engaged woman now.. and I can't take my eyes off of him. How is it, I'm engaged to the person I've been madly in love with for such a long time now.. who has hurt me so much. But completely gave up on the person who never gave up on me, just for some stupid mistake of words. I quickly shake myself out of my thoughts as I watch Minho walk away. I feel Hyunjin's arms wrap around me from behind and his face push into my neck. "What's bothering you my love?" He asks quietly. I gesture towards Minho, who's currently down by the water by himself. Hyunjin takes a deep breathe in before letting it out. "Go talk to him..." He whispers. "No, this is our night. I don't want to ruin it." I whisper back, turning around to wrap my arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around my waist and brings me in closer. "It won't ruin anything, he wouldn't do that. I think you forget that he's madly in love with you at times." Hyunjin says with a small chuckle. "And you don't have an issue with that? I mean, we're engaged now... that's quit a big thing." I say quietly. "I don't really have an issue with it, because I trust you.. and I trust him. And I know that you'll do whatever it takes to make us happy. As long as I have you by my side every day.. that's all that matters to me beyond this point." He pushes my hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear before gwntly kissing me. "Now go... talk to him." He says with a smile as he pulls away.

•

I make my way down the beach towards Minho as Hyunjin joins the rest of the group around the fire. "Is this spot taken?" I ask jokingly, pointing to the sand next to where Minho is sat. "Yeah.. I actually called one of the crabs as a date, just waiting for her now." He says sarcastically with a smile. I smile back before sitting down next to him. I give him a warm look before resting my head on his shoulder and looking out to the water. He gently rests his head on mine before letting out a sigh. "I'm happy for you." He states suddenly. "You shouldn't be." I say softly. Minho pulls away to look at me confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "I mean, I broke your heart and left, then got engaged to the guy I told you I probably never wanted to see again... it doesn't get much shittier than that." I state with a sorrowful smile. "You didn't break my heart y/n..." he says. "If anything... you taught me that I had one." He says with a smile. "You've always had a heart Minho.. You just try to hide it." I say quietly. "You make it hard to hide.." He whispers, looking into my eyes. My heart hurts at his words, I know I've hurt him.. but I also know that he would never let me know if I did. "I love you Min..." I whisper. "I can't lose you... you mean too much to me." "You love him more y/n, and that's okay. You have to listen to your heart. Even if your heart doesn't want me." He says quietly. "That's the thing Minho.. it does. And I don't know what to do because I can't see you and expect myself not to fall for you all over again." I say. "I.. I don't know what to say.." He whispers.

•

My conversation with Minho didn't really go anywhere from there, just a few talk's about how thing's have been doing and what the plan is for our futures. Then we headed back to the group.

"So we rented out this hotel room down the road from here, we all took a couple days off of work to stay, do you guys want to stay for the night?" Chan asks. "We didn't bring anything to stay." Hyunjin states. "The hotel has extra toothbrushes and stuff, and you guys can wear some of our stuff." Han says. "what do you say?" Hyunjin asks me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Sounds like fun to me." I say with a smile. "Great! I'll go call and add on a room for you guys then!" Chan says, pulling his phone from his pocket to call the hotel before walking away. We all gather our things to bring to our cars.

Once we get to Hyunjin's car, he grabs my bag from my arms and throws it in the trunk. "Ready?" He asks. I give him a quick smile and nod before heading to the passenger side door with him, he holds the door for me as I get into the car. He lightly shuts the door and makes his way around the car before getting into the driver's seat. He starts the engine and not long after, we are on our way.

~

"This hotel is huge!" I say excitedly to Chan as we make our way through the huge front doors of the hotel. Well, more like palace. This place is built like one. "You didn't have to do this, this just screams expensive." Hyunjin exclaims. "It's nothing, besides.. it can be your guys' engagement gift from me." Chris says, with a wink. I look at Hyunjin with a smile then look down at the shiny ring on my finger. I twirl it around before being swept from my thoughts. "Lets go!" Han says excitedly. We all make our way to the elevator. Obviously, not having enough room for all of us to get on together, ironically Minho, Hyunjin and I are left to catch a ride up after everyone else.

It falls to pure silence when the elevator doors shut as Ash, Felix and Han head upstairs. Hyunjin wraps his arm around my shoulder and brings me to his side. He leaves a small kiss at the top of my head before giving me a small smile. It seems like eternity before the doors to the elevator open for us. Minho stands awkwardly as Hyunjin and I make our way into the elevator. "You coming?" Hyunjin says with a smile. 'Oh, uh, yeah." Minho says, shaking his head as if he were deep in thought. He makes his way on with us, standing beside me. For this being such a huge hotel, they could have made the elevator a little bigger at least.' I think to myself. Minho's arm brushes against mine, and I try my hardest to ignore the goosebumps that form on my skin. He must have not ignored them though, considering the smirk I see spread across his lips secretly. The elevator dings once we get to the top floor. "Honeymoon suite." Hyunjin reads on the pamphlet Chan handed us down stairs. He quickly goes through it, examining the pictures given to us. "This place is nicer than our apartment." He says dramatically. "Well, I guess this is us." I say to Minho. "Yeah, I'll catch you guys later?" He says, pressing the button to which floor he has to go to, with a smile. "Do you want to come hangout for a while?" Hyunjin asks him. I give Hyunjin a questioning look, before putting my attention back to Minho. "Oh, well.. this is a special night for you two, I think it would be best if you spent it together." Minho says. The doors go to close but Hyunjin quickly shoves his foot in front of it before it can. "Don't be ridiculous.. Just come hangout for a little bit." Hyunjin says, grabbing Minho's hand and dragging him out of the elevator and into our suite before he can protest. I wonder to myself what the hell Hyunjin could actually be thinking. ‘I’m trying to get over him, you know this. Don’t do this to me.’ I think to myself as we enter through the doors of our suite. All of our jaws hit the floor at the sight of the place. “Holy shit..” Minho whispers. “There’s no way he paid for this.” I whisper. “He had to have robbed someone.” Hyunjin says. Causing a chuckle from both Minho and I. Walking in, the first thing to see is a huge Queen bed, spread with satin sheets and grey pillows. Above the bed.. a mirror, if only you could imagine what that would be for. Across from the bed, a fire place with the TV above it and a few chairs to finish it off. Next to that, a balcony, out-looking the ocean. "This is insane." I say, making my way to the bed and throwing myself on to it. "This is the best bed I've ever felt in my entire life." I say dramatically, letting out a long relaxed sigh. I feel the bed dip next to my feet and look over to see Minho sit next to me. I give him a small smile. "Drinks?" Hyunjin asks, grabbing one of our bags and heading toward the kitchen area.

When Hyunjin leaves the room, is when Minho decides to talk. "What is he trying to do?" He whispers. "I couldn't tell you." I whisper back. We let our eyes connect, for longer than we'd both like. I can tell he's hurting, there's pain behind those huge brown eyes and all I want to do is hold him, comfort him, tell him everything is going to be okay. "y/n..." He whispers. "yeah?" I say. "Can you do something for me?" He asks. "Anything." I reply. He looks away, looking down at his hands, where his fingers play together nervously. "Tell me you love me, just one more time." He whispers. I think my eyes are playing tricks on me when I see a tear welling up in his eyes. My heart shatters at the sight. My whole time of knowing Minho, he's only cried once. I sit up, scooting closer to him. Running my hand down his back. "I'm afraid I'll always love you Minho." I whisper to him, setting my chin on his shoulder. "There's nothing to be afraid of baby." He says, turning around to face me. He takes my hand in his. "Don't call me that." I whisper. "It hurts too much." His thumb rubs against my palm. "Alright, let's drink!" Hyunjin says excitedly. Minho quickly pulls his hand from mine. Hyunjin saw, I know he did. His face tells it. He walks over to the bed with a tray with three drinks sitting on it. He hands us our drinks and sits on the bed with us. "Cheers! To my beautiful Fiancé." He says, looking at me with a wink before he brings the glass to his mouth and chugs down his entire drink. I give him a wide smile and take a sip of mine. I look over to Minho and watch as he chugs his down as well.

~

It's been a few hours since we've gotten to our room. We've all had too much to drink at this point. Minho was sprawled out on one of the chairs by the fireplace, Hyunjin was laying on the floor and I on the bed. We've been sitting around talking nonsense and making each other laugh uncontrollably. It felt good to be alone all together again, and there not be any drama. For a minute it felt like things before. That's until Hyunjin opened his mouth. "Minho, do you still love y/n?" Silence fell over the room, the only thing playing is light music in the background, that we weren't really listening to in the first place. "Hyunj.." I start, but he quickly stops me. "No, I want to know." He says. I can't tell where he's going with this by the look on his face. Minho stares at him is silence before letting out a sigh. "Hyunjin, I'm not here to argue. We were all just having a really good time." He says. "I'm not looking to argue, I'm looking to make amends." Hyunjin states. Taking another sip of his beer. "How do you expect to do that Jinnie?" I ask quietly. Hyunjin smirks, looking between Minho and I.

"I want you guys to fuck." He states nonchalantly. My eyes widen, along with Minho's. "Bro, I don't thi.." Hyunjin cuts him off. "Before you guys say anything! I've thought long and hard about it, and I think it would benefit all three of us." He talks as if it's the most normal thing on earth. I know we've done it before. But everything is so different now. We're engaged... we're getting married. That's huge, this is not the time to be making decisions on whether or not we want a three way relationship again. That, and Hyun's been doing so good, I'm scared he'll go back to his old ways if this happens again.

"Hyun.. don't you think this isn't the right time for this?" I ask, sweetly as I can. "It's the perfect time, my love." He says, getting up from his spot on the floor and crawling onto the bed next to me. "I know he loves you, and I know you still love him. I understand that will never change. What is the point in walking on eggshells around one another?" He says. "Hyunjin, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying." Minho says. "I agree. If we do this, you will wake up in the morning completely regretting it." I say. "Don't act like you two haven't been longing for one another since we got to the beach." Hyunjin states. "I see the way you look at her Minho, it's quite intense to be honest." He chuckles. "And you..." He crawls close to my face, the tips on our noses touching one another. "The love in your eyes when you look at him... it's like the first time I saw you. I understand that look more than you know y/n." He whispers. "Hyunjin..." He quickly shushes me with his lips. He slams them hard onto mine, my body falls back a little bit at the pressure of it. "Are you sure about this?" I say in between him kissing me. "I've never been so sure about anything in my life." He states. I pull away from his lips and he makes his way down my neck, licking a stripe down the side of it to my colar bone. I look over at Minho as he does. "Come here min.." I moan out. Minho stands from his chair and makes his way over to the bed cautiously. Hyunjin continues to lick and suck at my neck. I hold out my hand to Minho, he grabs it and climbs onto the bed with us. Sitting beside me, he brings my hand up to his mouth, before planting a gentle kiss to it. I miss the feeling of his lips. I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him toward me. I slam my lips onto his. Our lips connect in perfect unison, as if nothing has changed, like nothing happened and everything has been the same this entire time. All of our worries and love are pressed into each other's mouths through our lips. Minho lets out a long moan, sliding his tongue into my mouth. I feel Hyunjin pull away, I stop kissing Minho and he takes the place on my neck where Hyunjin's lips once were. "Jinnie..." I moan out, as he gets off the bed. I reach for him with a pout, asking him to get back on the bed. "Oh darling, this is about you. I'm just going to watch." He states sweetly, before leaning over the bed and planting a kiss to my forehead. I watch as he makes his way to one of the chairs by the fireplace and drags it to the foot of the bed before taking a seat.

Minho brings his hand up and presses against my shoulder, telling me to lay back. To which I do. He quickly climbs on top of me. "I've missed those pretty lips." He whispers, before bringing his mouth back down to mine. I moan through the kiss and run my hands through his hair. His hand finds my breast, giving it a sharp squeeze before working his way down my body to my dripping cunt. He cups it in his hand before taking his thumb and rubbing me through my pants. A hum leaves my lips as he does. "That's it pretty girl, you miss me?" He asks cockily. I'm too hot and heavy to come up with a sarcastic remark, all I can do is nod at him. A smirk plays out on his lips as he continues to rub at my clit. "You're so wet already baby, we've barely done anything." He states. He pulls his hand from my heat, causing a whine to leave my lips. "Patients baby." He whispers, before wrapping his fingers in the waistband of my pants and dragging them down my legs, along with my underwear. "Spread your legs for me baby." He says. I do as he says, and drop my knees to the sides. “God..” I heard Hyunjin groan from the end of the bed. “Such a pretty pussy, baby.” Minho whines, climbing on top of me to connect our lips once more. I grind my hips up into his, causing a groan to escape his lips. I feel his hardened member rub against my naked core, leaving behind a wet strip on his jeans. “She’s covering you Minho.” Hyunjin groans. Minho pulls away and looks down at his clothed cock. A smirk plays out on his lips. “Oh sweet girl.. look what you did.” He says. A blush forms on my cheeks as I look away from him, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “Look at him, my love.” I hear hyunjin say. I pry my eyes away from the wall and look at Minho. “Good girl.” I hear hyunjin again. “You listen well don’t you?” Minho says. He backs up off of the bed to take off his pants and boxers before climbing back on. His hardened member swings loose as he does. Dripping precum with veins so prominent, you could see them a mile away. “Turn around baby.” I do as he says and get on my knees, bending over to stick my ass in the air. “Face your fiance.” He adds. I quickly turn around and face hyunjin. My core tightens at the sight. There sits my fiance, watching something so raw, so dirty. With his cock in his hand, stroking himself softly and slowly. His tip leaking, his forehead sweaty. All I want to do is get on the floor between those perfectly long legs and take him in my mouth. “Mmm.. so perfect.” Minho says, taking me out of my thoughts, before landing a sharp blow to my right cheek. I hiss at first, but moan right after. I suddenly feel his tip slide through my heat. “Look at you, my love.” Hyunjin whispers. Scooting close to me at the end of the bed, bringing his face only centimeters from mine. “You want Minho to fuck you hmm?” He asks. Running his hand through my hair. “You want him to make that pussy cum?” I nod. He gives me a small smile before standing up from the chair and standing In front of me, his clock on full display. “Open.” He says, gesturing to my mouth. I obey, sticking my tongue out. He softly grabs his member and sipes his tip on my tongue, ridding of the precum leaking from the tip. I take my tongue back into my mouth to take him. I moan at the feeling. I quickly open my mouth again, asking for more. “Such a greedy girl.” He says, before placing his tip back on my tongue and sliding his hips forward. His tip hits the back of my throat just right, before I gag. I feel my hole stretch behind me as Minho sinks himself into me. I let out a long moan around Hyunjin’s cock. Causing a moan to escape his lips at the sensation. “God, you’re so tight baby.” Minho moans, ramming himself into me from behind. A squeak leaves my mouth every time he bottoms out inside of me. “Keep going baby, I’m gonna cum.” Hyunjin moans. I wrap my hand around his balls, taking him even deeper into my throat. I feel his cock twitch a few times before his seed explodes inside my mouth.

The taste of him and the feeling oh Minho slamming inside of me, sends me into a state of euphoria. I quickly swallow Hyunjin’s seed and let out a loud moan as I cum around Minhos cock. “That’s right baby, cum for me.” Minho moans. I feel him coming to his high as I cum around him, his member twitching inside of me as he fills up my soaking heat. He lets out a sigh before pulling out of me and landing onto the bed with a thump. I feel him cum leak out of me and down my leg, hitting the sheets below me. Hyunjin climbs on to the bed next to me and pulls me into his arms. “Come here, my love.” He plants kisses all along my face, ending at the top of my head. We sit in silence, catching our breaths, until Minho speaks up.

“Well… now what?”

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

To be continued…

Tag list: @greysweaters-blog @mimihwang248 @armystay89 @berryberrytan @multeciahucho @poetrycassie @nobody3210 @straykids5star @mabysblog @yaorzu-blog @elizalabs3 @lyracarvahall @silencionyx @aznstoner

[nocturnowlette]

Did you teach yourself hypnotism? How would one learn?

I did teach myself, but to claim I started from nothing would be inaccurate.

I had been a subject for around 8 years before I started trying to be a hypnotist, I have a lot of experience writing (and specifically writing and altering tone and text towards a target audience), I had a lifelong fascination with perception and human behavior due to being autistic (this is my special interest), and similarly had an interest in communication which has ironically given me a better understanding of communication than most neurotypical people.

I essentially had every relevant skill before I even began.

That being said, I most certainly took the scenic route for learning hypnosis.

This is the most okay learning resource I have personally found for hypnosis. DO NOT read Mind Play, that book sucks and teaches a deeply limited system. Do not use almost any hypnosis book, because they all just give you training wheels then give no further tools to advance yourself.

This resource gives a somewhat more wholesale depiction of things, but you need to keep in mind that even for the things this guide states in an absolutist manner, there are zero absolutes in hypnosis. It's a vague conceptual goop that is always changing forms for each new person by the second, hour, day, month, and year.

We draw imaginary lines to make it more traversible and understandible, but they are exactly that. Imaginary. Only drawing inside those lines cuts out a lot of potency and possibility.

You learn the guiding structures, but then you need to get good enough to shed that limiting skin. Try new things, experiment, question every single claim you've heard about hypnosis, and build an intuitive learning over time.

And for the love of god, do not use breathing exercises, key elman inductions, or PMR inductions. I will slap you.

Don't be quick to trust scientific claims about hypnosis, as many were made in like the 1970s by some random person called Kim Blorbo (not actually) and everyone just assumed it was correct. I'm not saying to not trust science, but it draws many imaginary lines due to some of the flaws with the scientific process in an inherently vague and line-less place. It's a pseudoscience for a reason.

Don't trust anyone who calls themselves a hypnotherapist.

Don't trust anyone who talks about NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming).

Don't trust anyone who seems to really like hypnospirals (spirals themselves look cool though).

Don't trust anyone who exclusively talks about hypnosis in kink terminology.

Don't trust anyone who never stops talking about how hot it is.

Don't work with subjects that don't have preferences or tastes and only want their self-destructive needs met.

Don't use scripts or named inductions past the first few times you do hypnosis, if you use them at all.

Keep your ears perked and be observant.

Be willing to go out of your comfort zone and introspect.

Be willing and happy to fail, and to learn from those failures, and you will learn quickly.

[thelesbianpoirot]

your entire shtick sounds like ur a white girl terf lesbian loser who racefakes being Black just to get some credibility and pity for your virulent transphobia and internalised homophobic tendencies. youre so despicable that you gotta add some oppression to your unlikeable persona just to get pity. And if you are Black -- this is sad. The white terfies dont actually love you, you're a diverse little asset to them. Have the day you deserve.

You believe i'm a lesbian more than you believe i'm black? I can't be black because I disagree with you? And if I am black, I believe what I do because I want to be approved of by white people?

So I must align with white people to disagree with you.

Because only white people are capable of defiant "bad" thoughts? If you really saw black people as complete human beings instead of sock puppets for your causes, you would have space in your mind for black people who disagree with you outside of any relationship they have to white people. "Terfies" aren't an established group like a fandom, it's a label thrown at any woman in defiance of the current status quo. Conservative women who would sooner see abortion banned and every woman het married with kids, or apolitical horny lesbians/bis who watch porn all day every day, and go to strip clubs are classed as radical feminists because they know pussy from dick. Face it! Some of these women are black, brown, disabled, bi, lesbian, autistic, and have been or currently identified as trans. Rebel women are in every group. No group of women are exempt from your witch hunt. "The white terfies dont actually love you" How to admit your entire belief system is predicated not on arguments you truly believe in or facts, but how nicely people treat you, and love bomb you into their cult. Being black does not get you "credibility" in radblr orbit. It doesn't even get me pity, I keep getting random accusations of bigotry from within this same orbit for my other views. It gets you anonymous cowardice messages like this. It is not some bigotry free space, but I am sooner debated about bullshit than tokenized as an expert of race relations. Unlike faux tumblr "leftish" groups that treats every black person off the street like a trained activist if they agree with them enough, when many are ignorant scammers, much like themselves. Birds of a feather. Nothing was a bigger indication of my internalized homophobia than the years I wasted pretending I was something I am not, a male, or bisexual (willing to accept any genitals a sexual partner may have). I am a big o'l black lesbian woman and my happiness is not dependent on what foreign whites think of me. It is dependent on the success of my goal of world domination. Sincerely,

A defiant loudmouth Negress.

Hard to tell but that's my middle finger.

[bassicallymaestra]

Look at my girl's glow up 🤩✨

A little about me, I've been drawing for fun since I was young, and especially drew a lot when I was an undergrad but then I got my first big girl job and it was so much work and responsibility that I didn't have time and pretty much stopped altogether except for a few sketches here and there. I've also noticed that I will get a crazy art burst and then not be stuck in an art block (and they usually last around 2 years) I would try but I was never pleased. The last time I really worked on something that I liked was in 2020 in quarantine and then they forced all us teachers back in person (even though there wasn't a vaccine yet 🙃). Once I started grad school, I only had time to study or practice, but now that I've graduated, I decided a needed a little break from music and start drawing again! Before I had always used Painttool SAI but it wasn't compatible with my surface when I got it years ago so I got Clip Paint Studio and never had time to really explore around it.

I'm so happy to have time to draw again (even though I've been neglecting my bass 😫 but I also just had my graduate recital and was close to getting a practice injury). I try to get a little drawing every day now and I'm so happy with my progress, especially with learning the software and all the cool things it can do.

That first drawing of Serena is so cringe now, but ✨PROGRESS✨I adore this community and have never felt so inspired to art

[shaunashipman]

With all this build up to the finale, some of which I’ve enjoyed (Buck and Tommy stills and people just enjoying the fact they’re together) and others I definitely haven’t (the constant bucktommy bones posts, that one person… again, and the whole talking about sex is gross and wrong).

But one thing that’s been fully solidified in my mind is the phrase “missing the forest for the trees” is the best way to describe the toxic buddie shippers.

Because tell me why every single time there are stills of Tommy it’s always about how his face looks like he doesn’t want to be there. Even though Tim showed these people they’re wrong before with the smiling Tommy picture with Hen he shared from the award ceremony. Like the stills don’t portray all emotions of a scene, it’s only that moment. Like act like you know what a picture is, it’s a moment in time and they aren’t always accurate.

Sometimes when it looks/walks/sounds like a duck, it’s just a damn duck. Not everything is some secret code saying that buddie is ever going to happen.

they are intentionally ignoring what is in front of their eyes. saying tommy never looks happy around buck, when he literally smiles in every scene they have together. there is no explanation for their "analysis" there is no basis for their "conclusions" other than the selfishness of a toddler who really thinks if they scream loud enough and stomp their feet enough that mommy will give them the toy they want

tho I have seen a few of them in the last few days whining that the season is "probably" going to end with bucktommy together and no buddie hint because "tim hates us and doesn't want to give us buddie"

I thought he was their biggest warrior?

like i'm done being any sort of nice about it: they're dumb

I'm just going to enjoy the finale tomorrow and spend the hiatus reading fics and making gifs and they can continue to cry into their froot loops

[sciderman]

im so happy for you that you have a possible reason/cause for your brain itch!!!! i hope the tumor removal goes superduper smoothly. Do they know how long its been present/growing???????? how did you find out??? <- you obviously do not have to answer these personal medical questions lmao im just!!!! so curious and excited for you.

from what i've discussed with the docs it's been there for a LONG time... they say this sort of thing might take up to a decade to develop - it doesn't happen overnight!

i think i started noticing symptoms about maybe... 7 years ago? literally as soon as i started working full-time, maybe. my first job stressed me out so much and i cried underneath the tables at 8pm because i couldn't leave the office, i still had so much to do. i was leading up an entire ass animation department at 20 years old. bad. awful. that's when i started depending on things to get me through the day. my body started feeling awful. i thought it was anxiety, or me just being weak, i guess. i don't know if stress created the tumor, or the tumor created the stress - (well, it's the latter now) i think it's probably both, but all the research i've done and what the doctors have said is that there's just - some people with a genetic predisposition for it.

it's funny - i never miss a deadline, and i'm really really good at my job, always. i never let anyone down, ever, at the cost of my own sanity, and i seem to always, always have it put-together when i'm dealing with people - i have the constant consensus from everybody around me that i'm the most cheerful person to work with on this here planet earth - but apparently, my body was falling apart underneath it all - which i failed to recognise, because outwardly i was holding it together so well, and figured it was just normal to cry all the time when nobody was looking.

i started really noticing it after taking on a lot of freelance work on top of my day job – i was really doing very hot, and did these amazing projects for some really amazing clients who sought me out for being amazing (i am amazing) - but naturally, had consecutive nights of no sleep, and quick deadlines - and INVOICING... screams. and just, realised - after taking those jobs that - my heart did not stop pumping afterwards. my heart was still racing a mile a minute, even after all those jobs were done and dusted and ever-so-loved and appreciated by very happy clients. my heart. wouldn't. stop.

i figured it was MAJOR anxiety, and sought out some counselling sessions, hoping they'd help. i relayed my woes. i said i'm worried i'm not resting enough. i'm not sleeping enough. my heart rate won't go down. they said "oh. not everybody needs 8 hours sleep, don't worry about it. everyone's different." - for some reason that reassured me. i thought it was okay. okay. i don't need rest. maybe my body's just different and doesn't need rest. maybe that's why i wake up at 6am every morning without fail. i just don't need sleep, i guess. (bad advice.)

so – everyone is telling me i'm okay. i should just get on. you're barely sleeping? that's fine, you probably don't need it. your heart is pumping? that's healthy. your heart SHOULD pump, idiot. get back to work.

i felt very unhappy at work - i felt like i was stagnating - so i moved job, last year. i moved job to one that was so, so much more fast-paced. i thought the excitement and change would do me good - but i've been facing maybe - 3 deadlines a day? vs my previous one-deadline-a-month arrangement. and i think it broke me. i needed to depend on so many unhealthy habits to get me through the day. i needed like 6 energy drinks, 3 coffees, i'd have the shakes, i'd have the jitters, i'd feel like i was going to fall apart every single day.

and then, one day, i did.

one week last year i doubled over - my body was in so much pain that i couldn't sleep, i couldn't eat, and worst off - i couldn't work. it was the first time i'd taken sick leave - i couldn't function. after being on antibiotics that didn't work, i eventually went into the emergency room because i just couldn't sleep. i couldn't do anything. i didn't care if they put me down, i wanted the pain to end.

she was a kidney stone. her name was sharon (sharon stone) - i suspect it was all the energy drinks that made her. i've dealt with her now. but during the process, the doc pulled me aside, and he said "dear. do you have any pain in your other kidney?"

i said... no............... why?

doc said "ah. problem for another time."

so, once sharon was dealt with, obviously i had to chase up on that doctor's ominous warning. i said "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY OTHER KIDNEY!!"

you have a tumor, dear. his name is lamar. he's on your right adrenal gland, and we suspect he's messing up all your hormones.

i did my own research, and turns out all these crazy, mysterious symptoms i've been having all line up - so i chased, and chased, and chased.

the doctors didn't take me seriously at first. because i guess i'm not in pain, and i handle it so well. i'm still so strong. i'm a fighter, i guess. whatever. but, turns out...

it's worth it to chase. your life might depend on it. i'm so glad i did, because there's an end to my suffering (dear god, i hope) - but, guys, if your heart won't slow, and you chronically can't relax, and you feel like there are bees in your brain - that's the time to do some research. it isn't normal, actually. and sure - it might not be a tumor, but - kid, you need some support. you need some help. you need to ask some questions. it's not okay for that to be your baseline. your body needs to rest. it needs to rest. even if i have to force it to. it has to rest.

right now i'm in a major stressed way, and i broke down and cried. i'm in the middle of a freelance job, and in the middle of an interviewing process for a new full-time job, and still working my current full-time job with 3 deadlines a day, and my surgery is next week. and i feel like crying. all the time.

i can't wait for rest. i hate that i literally have to be hospitalised to get it. but, i'll get it. i'm going to rest so fucking hard.

[jeons-catalyst]

https://www.tumblr.com/jeons-catalyst/751502994518966272/the-main-difference-i-saw-stfu-you-didnt?source=share

The main thing here is we talk about these two ships as if there's something to compare here just because they're both technically the 'big' ships in BTS but the truth is there is not a single thing that taekook have done in 12 years that is something friends wouldn't do together. Sharing cars, hanging out together, visiting each other, joking around with each other, asking for help with music, posting eo on social media - like what do you guys do with your friends if not this? Vmin are out here wearing matching items, having crazy skinship, Jimin has Tae's dad's number and is apparently friendly with his family, Tae posts sappy posts with Jimin (hands together I only have you...jesus), when Tae is distressed in a group setting the one he reaches out to is Jimin - but somehow none of us think they're together right? Taekook is just held together by mistranslations, unverifiable stories and the wishes of fans who want to see two hot guys together. Why else is shipping such a thing in the kpop community? Its not because all these people love supporting their fave idols dating and being in happy relationships because that's not the reaction when their actual dating "scandals" break out.

And this is the same standard I hold for jikook which is why I will not say with complete certainty that jikook are together either. Cooking for the other person after a concert, being inordinately excited to see the other online, having cheesy sayings like you are me I am you, spending hours watching the others content, constantly doing projects together like collabs or the travel show, always being stuck together backstage or hanging out in each others rooms all the time, having a million inside jokes, paying them extra attention because they're your favourite person, spending each others birthdays together, making Tiktok comments on the others videos, even enlisting together - theyre very sweet! But still things I'd do with my friend (except enlisting, doing collabs etc)

The thing about jikook - the things that really make me pause is those odd out of place things that happen sometimes and I can ignore a few things here and there but in cumulation - yeah I side eye them sometimes. It just pulls me out sometimes and makes me second guess their friendship. The hickey - that was a weird thing. The rose bowl thing - let's write it off by saying Jimin and Jungkook do bite their friends sometimes even though this seemed distinctly off. GCF Tokyo - I dunno JK has made so many gcfs post Tokyo and yet that intimate atmosphere from gcft is just...a little too romantic for me (I'm ignoring the whole it was a birthday present paid for by JK aspect of it because technically I guess you could pay for your friend but...). Jimin's roundtrip back to Korea just to be there for JK's birthday - ok we know Jimin is not averse to taking international trips just to support his friends but doing that in between his hectic holiday schedule with a trip before and after JK's birthday is so.... JK's thirst trap birthday greeting - nah sorry this was again really odd to me and it's strange that nobody in the fandom clocks this as odd - JK could drop a thousand thirst traps every day if he wanted, to specifically do so in a birthday greeting to Jimin - for what?? What was that? And this is super controversial even among jikookers but JK's tattoo - the idea that JK (who btw always calls himself JK) managed to put his initial above the M on his ring finger as if his entire rest of his hand does not exist and it never ever occurred to him that hey that looks a lot like JM which omg coincidence is also the initials my bandmate and good friend Jimin is known for and not me - I mean if it wasn't deliberate then that would really make me question JK's visual intelligence (and nobody say mijoo to me because that J isn't under M either)

And one of these things being off is fine - like who knows what context we're missing. Maybe their physical and emotional boundaries are so different from mine. But all of these things + all the other smaller things we ignore all the time - again I'm not saying they're together. I'm just saying I can see why some people including me do a double take after seeing all this. There's no other "ship" in BTS that has this history of consistent wtf-ery happening in the background over so many years. The rest of them all have a very special and intimate friendship with each other. And Jimin and Jungkook are...Jimin and Jungkook whatever that entails

Anon, i literally don’t have anything to add because you have literally said it all.

In all the years of BTS being together as a group, i honestly cannot say there is a single thing i have seen taekook do for or with each other which made me do double take especially when you understand their dynamic. Everything they do and have done is what friends do with each other and what they do with other friends as well and for people who don’t see this, i really wonder what kind of friendships they have in their lives and what they do with their friends.

Jikook on the other hand is a whole mystery. Those two are sus through and through and even when they are not trying to be, they are still sus. Their consistency and exclusivity is what does it for me and just like you, i cannot swear that they are together but they sure do have an interesting relationship.

[cerise-on-top]

Hiiiii how have you been love bug? (Please tell me if your uncomfortable with that term since you are non-binary and they/them I’m not sure what nicknames you are uncomfortable with it’s just what I call my friends and just a nickname I have for people in general🫶🏻🫶🏻 ) so I’d like to to request farah with a adhd reader who is hyper forgetful and sometimes has meltdowns ( as someone with adhd)🧡🧡🧡

Hey! I'm fine! Bought some more yarn for my leftover blanket today, which I'm excited to work on! And don't worry, I think love bug is really cute! I don't mind most nicknames, but thank you for being considerate, I really do appreciate it! Hope you're doing well as well ^^

I don't have ADHD, so I don't know at all what it's like for someone with it! I had to do some research on it, so I don't know if these are actually viable methods of helping, but I tried! Please do correct me with something that might help and I'll add it in this post afterwards! I hope this is enjoyable to you regardless! Thank you for the request!

Farah with a Reader with ADHD

Farah doesn’t particularly know a lot about mental illnesses. She may be traumatized, yes, but that doesn’t mean she ever had the time to research any of them. So she’s definitely not the best person to go to when it comes to things like these, but she tries, even if she can’t always understand everything that’s going on. You’re suffering, and that’s enough for her to know she should do something to help you.

You being this forgetful may be a cause of concern for her, though. It’s not every day she meets someone who forgot what they did five minutes prior. It’s especially concerning when it’s something important, though, like seeing a doctor. Although she may be worried for you potentially developing something as severe as dementia eventually, she’ll try to push her worries aside and help you to the best of her abilities. If you ever need reminders, she can help you. Farah remembers and retains things very well, she’s never had any issues with it since she had to in order to get by. If you need to remember something, she’ll remind you a few times a day. You have an appointment? Don’t forget about it tomorrow, I’ll tell you again then. However, she’s also a big fan of post its and will write down whatever it is you may need and place it somewhere she knows you’re going to see it. I know, out of sight, out of mind, but she’ll also text you and have you make reminders on your phone for important things so you don’t forget. Won’t get mad at you for forgetting your anniversary, she can see that it’s hard for you to remember things and won’t yell at you or anything either. However, she will mention that it was your anniversary, or maybe her birthday. For the most part she just wants to spend those days with you, if she can, and will thus remind you. Again, you don’t need to feel ashamed for forgetting, she’ll tell you that it’s quite alright and that you shouldn’t worry. She’s patient like that.

If you have a meltdown in front of her, she definitely would not know what to do at first. Depending on what kind of meltdown it is, she’ll react differently. If it creeps up on you, slowly making you irritated, then she’ll ask you what’s wrong. Regardless of your answer, she’ll ask you how she can help you, if you would like to be left alone or if you would like to take a small break in any way. She gets it and she’ll get you away from whatever is stressing you out so you can slowly recharge. If you really do want to be left alone for a while, she will comply, but will knock on your door to check up on you every once in a while and will bring you some food as well. Farah just wants you to be well, so she’ll take care of you how she thinks might help. Food is always good, food usually helps her, so she hopes it’ll do the same for you as well.

If it’s a sudden meltdown where you don’t know where left and right are anymore, then she’ll get you away from everyone else at first. While she can’t imagine what it’s like for you, it likely isn’t very pleasant for you to be crying and screaming in front of other people. Hoping that you trust her, she’ll try to ground you, asking you how you’re feeling, what you’re feeling and how she could help you. What happened is also another question she would ask you. Again, she won’t really know what to do on her own, but she tries her best. Farah will talk to you in a soothing tone and try to distract you at first so you can calm down a bit. Whether it be cracking a joke or asking you about your top five favorite reptiles. Even if you can’t answer her properly, she’ll just reassure you that it’s okay, that everything is just bad in this moment and that it’ll pass. She’s with you this entire time and won’t leave you unless you want her to. Asks you to breathe a bit with her. In all your time being together, she’s likely learned a breathing technique or two that might help you.

Once your meltdown is over, she’ll be very gentle with you, especially if she can see you’re beating yourself up over it. You really shouldn’t feel ashamed for something that you can’t help, it’s not your fault. If you feel especially down, she’ll give you a kiss on the forehead and get some ice cream with you. Something like a meltdown seems exhausting to her. While she doesn’t want to seem like she’s rewarding you for having a meltdown, she does want you to be kind to yourself afterwards, that’s what the ice cream is for. And if you don’t want ice cream, then some berries, fruits or a small snack will suffice as well. Either way, she’s there for you the entire time until you feel better.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

ARCTIC MONKEYS 25/06/23

okay now that i've had some time to (slightly) emotionally and physically recover from yesterday, i need to flail about the highlights:

1) meeting one of my absolute favourite humans who i would never have got to know if it hadn't been for this little corner of tumblr - and then getting to share the excitement/nerves/elation/exhaustion rollercoaster of seeing am with them was just - there aren't even words for it. so special 💖

2) learning how to navigate rain ponchos

3) impulse buying too much merch (but also not regretting it. the glasgow tour poster is going to be the first thing going on my wall in my new flat)

4) the mirrorball starting to twirl just before they all came onstage and sending the colours of the afternoon sun everywhere

5) the sheer rush of the moment they all walked onstage together (also that was pretty much the only time i got to glimpse nick and matt at all 💔 from where i was standing i could mostly only see alex and jamie)

6) seeing alex a few metres away in real life after months of looking at his beautiful, dorky little expressions in photos/videos was surreal in the best possible way- there's just something so different about the way you get a sense of someone's energy when you're in the same space with them?? and as someone who's endlessly interested in people, i'm fascinated by how alex simultaneously gives off really reserved, self-contained vibes at the same time as being such a dynamic and captivating performer - like he’s so good at tapping into emotions without letting them be a door into how he’s actually feeling (if that makes any sense, my post-gig brain is not very articulate) i guess that all very much makes sense with all the stuff he's said about personas/performing, but it was still so interesting to get to really feel that sense of his presence in live time. he's definitely very much in control but in a very understated kind of way

7) a bunch of birds circling overhead on one side of the crowd, alex seeing them and dramatically declaring 'release the rest of the birds' 

8) me and the lovely human i went with turning to each other with expressions of sheer joy when the opening bars of crying lightning were played (and don't sit down. and four stars. and arabella. and - you get the picture. getting to share the sheer delight of your favourite songs being played is just the loveliest feeling 💗)

9) alex doing a quirky little 'ha ha' laugh in the middle of body paint 

10) mirrorball coinciding with the most beautiful pink dusk and half moon just above the stage, and getting to witness alex’s piano playing at the start of it

11) body paint. just. body paint. i think my soul left my body.

12) how much energy and enthusiasm alex seemed to have throughout the set - especially after the last week or so it was just the loveliest thing to see him messing about and having fun. and his voice sounded SO good. how anyone manages to sing like that (let alone sound like that less than a week after cancelling shows due to laryngitis) is an absolute mystery to me

13) alex's theatrical hand gestures for crying lightning (the one for gobstopper was a particular favourite)

14) hearing 505 when dusk has just fallen and you can see the smudged moon behind the deep indigo clouds is the only way anyone should ever hear 505 

15) alex and matt having a giggle about something mid set

16) obviously i was aware of how stupidly talented they all are - but there's something about seeing it unfold in front of you in real time that makes it really hit you. the sound wasn't great where i was for some of the time so i don't feel like i got the best audio sense of everything, but i was just so struck in particular by matt on the drums and also alex with his guitar playing. i feel like when i'm just listening to their records i'm so busy listening to alex's voice that i forget how incredible a guitar player he is and - wow. just. yeah. it honestly took my breath away.

17) getting the distinct impression that it provides alex with a sense of amusement to deliberately do that thing where he sings the lyrics at slightly different speeds to trip the crowd up

18) even though i ended up being in significant pain for the second half of the set and had to go find somewhere a little further back where i could lean against the railings (chronic pain conditions and standing for 6+ hours apparently isn't the best mix), nothing could dull how magical it was hearing all the tracks from the car that they played closer to the end. standing there in the dusk and feeling so much about everything is something i'll never forget. it truly brought home to me so poignantly everything about why am's music means so much to me and how much love i have for them 💜

19) being in the exact line of direction alex blew kisses to at the end

20) the hazy post-gig walking in the dark under lit up green trees with the lovely human i went with and our conversations about am and creativity and the courage of sharing music 💖

[sysig]

Having fun, more and more! (Patreon)

[mel-loly]

-“Just a flower, in the middle of the field at night, a light is turned on and reveals.. A day arriving with confident hope and silent happiness!”🌹🐝

[roomofshitposts]

made this when i heard the ros finale dropped and forgot to toss it here they call me a dumbass o(-(

hi hello, it's been a long while since i posted here and i think i'll call it quits about now for this blog

i'm not super active on any tumblr/twitter accounts these days but my handle is @aureminate if anyone wants to see art once in a blue moon

right now i don't know if i'll deactivate roomofshitposts or just leave it up, or i guess if anyone wants to have the handle they can send me a message?

and that's all from me, goodbye !!