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#[ which is something i hope all of you would be able to understand ]
ninjaturtlemaniac · 2 days
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Parasite? Happy Broppy Day!
Poppy stuck her head into the doorway.
“Branch?!”
No response.
Next room?
“Branch?!”
The emptiness of the half built room made her voice echo.
She continued down the hallways. There's quite a few rooms he could still be in.
Lots more rooms than I remember being in the plans. More places to hide! I'll have to note the best spots I find.
“Braaaanch! I love hide and seek as much as the next Troll but no one has seen you all day and it's getting dark~!” She called out in a singsong voice.
She stopped in the main ballroom. The construction Trolls were finishing up for the day and packing away their equipment.
One of them noticed her in the doorway.
“Queen Poppy, did you need something?”
“Have any of you seen Branch today?”
“I saw King Branch this morning!” A Troll further away from them shouted.
“Wonderful! Where did you see him?”
“North edge of the village.”
“Did you talk to him?”
“I tried, he wouldn't let anyone near him!”
“What do you mean?”
“He told us he had very important King duties to attend to and he shouldn't be disturbed. Which is fair, if I had important King duties I wouldn't want to be disturbed either.”
The trolls around him nodded in agreement.
“Thank you everyone. Everything is looking fantastic. Please have a good night annnnd you know what? Take a rest day tomorrow.”
The trolls cheered with high fives and praises for their Queen as they left.
King duties? North village edge?
Poppy tried to think what would be upsetting Branch that he would be avoiding everyone.
If Branch was here, he would be able to figure out what was upsetting Branch.
She tapped her chin as she made her way to the north edge to find clues.
Poppy hadn't gone this long without Branch around her since he was still living in…
The Bunker!
Once she knew where to go, Poppy was at the hatch in no time.
She grabbed the handle and pulled.
Nothing happened.
She knocked.
No response.
Maybe he's not here?
She thought about leaving but then noticed the pile of dirt next to the hatch.
Almost as if the hatch had been opened recently and the build up of dirt had slid off.
Good work me!
Poppy knocked loudly on the hatch and called out his name over and over.
“Go away!” a muffled voice shouted from below her.
“Branch it's me, Poppy!”
“Poppy, go home! You can't be here! It's not safe!”
“Not safe?! Branch what's wrong? Let me help you! Please let me in!”
Poppy pulled harder on the handle.
“I can't!”
“Why?!”
“Cause I'm dying!”
Poppy didn't let go of the hatch, but she did stop in surprise.
“Branch, this isn't funny. You're scaring me. If you love me you will open this hatch!”
“It's because I love you that I will not open this hatch!”
“Whatever is making you feel like you're dying, we made a promise. In sickness and in health! Remember? I'm not leaving!”
They argued back and forth over and over for a while before Branch stopped responding and descended back down his elevator.
An upset Poppy rushed back to the village to find Branch’s brothers.
She was able to reach Floyd and Boom's pod first.
They were able to calm her down long enough to get a vague explanation of what was going on.
They decided Boom would go and get the other brothers while Floyd went back to the hatch with Poppy.
After a while all of the brothers as well as Boom were all attempting to help Poppy get Branch to open up about why he thought he was dying.
At the very least they were trying to get him out of the bunker.
They all had very different ideas.
“Branch, it's Bruce. I'm going to count to three and you better hope that this hatch is open by the time I get to three. ONE…. TWO…”
Clay crossed his arms “Bruce, stop. I can feel Branch rolling his eyes from here.”
Floyd pulled a sleeping Angel out of his hair and handed him over to Boom.
Angel immediately began fussing.
Floyd sat down next to the hatch.
“Branch, okay, you're sick. I understand that and I believe you.”
Floyd winked at Poppy.
“But how do you know YOU are patient zero? You might have picked it up from someone in town?”
There was a long silence before he finally responded.
“…..Maybe?”
“So why don't you tell me what kinda sick you are? Poppy can check with everyone in town to make sure it doesn't spread any further.”
“……..Well…”
Poppy silently cheered that Branch was finally sharing what was wrong.
“My hair, it's somehow oily and dry at the same time but also changing shape at random. It's flaking and itching and it's making my whole body hurt! I have split ends! I've never had split ends! I haven't been able to find what it is in ANY of my books on diseases and chronical illnesses but that just means it's more important you guys stay away!”
Bruce sighed as he looked over to Boom. Angel’s cries had woken Phoenix and John Dory was trying his best to help Boom soothe them.
His eyebrows shot up.
How did he not think of it sooner?
“Branch, have you been getting sharp aches down your neck?”
“…Yeah?”
Bruce chuckled deeply.
“Bro, you can pop open that hatch. You're not gonna get anyone sick. I promise.”
“How can you promise that?”
“Becaauuuuuse I've had this before!”
A series of mechanical knocking sounds were heard, before the hatch finally lifted slightly.
Branch's eyes appeared just below the lid.
“…You have?”
“Sure have! Thirteen times!”
“THIRTEEN?! And it's not contagious?”
“Not in the slightest!”
“What is it then, if it's not contagious, is it genetic?”
“ HA ! In a way, yes!” He grinned. “Come on out, Branch. I'll show you.”
He hesitated, but Branch lifted the hatch all the way and slowly stepped out.
The group was able to collectively let out the breath they had been holding.
Poppy launched herself at Branch and held onto him tightly.
“Okay, what's wrong with me, Bruce?”
Bruce gestured for Branch to lower his head so he could look in his hair.
Branch hesitated but slowly lowered his head.
Bruce gently pushed his hands through his brother's hair.
The thick hair tried to push back but Bruce was able to get to the particular spot.
It confirmed his theory.
He smiled widely and laughed.
He held the hair open with one hand and used the other to invite Poppy over to look for herself.
She blinked in confusion at first.
A knot?
Wait?
A ‘KNOT’ KNOT?!
She gasped and looked over to Bruce for confirmation.
He nodded.
“EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEEE!”
Poppy squealed!
Branch was startled out of Bruce's reach.
“What?! What is it?! Is there like a parasite or something?! Someone better tell me or… I'll do something, I'm not sure yet!”
“Branch, you silly Troll, it's not a parasite, it's a baby!”
Everyone around them gasped!
“A….a what?” he said shakily.
Bruce put a hand on Branch's shoulder.
“Branch you're hair is forming an egg!”
Branch's eyes darted back and forth, waiting for the punchline.
He touched his hair slightly.
He thought back to everything that's happened.
It actually made sense.
“An…. an egg… I.. that's… wow… Poppy”
“Branch?”
She held out her hands, inviting him to take them.
“I'm so sorry Poppy. I just-”
“Stop right there mister! You did what you thought you had to do. You were willing to cut yourself off from the world to keep everyone safe.”
“You're not mad?”
“Oh believe me, I am so mad right now!”
Her voice became much softer as she stroked his face.
“But at the same time, how can I be mad right now?”
“We're…having a baby” he laughed through small happy tears.
Poppy held his face and they shared a sweet kiss.
Poppy grinned wide as her body became jittery.
“Pleasepleaseplease pleaaaase! Can I get excited now?”
He smirked.
“I'll allow it.”
And Poppy burst!
“AHHHHHHH! AN EGG! WE'RE HAVING A BABY! GUYS WE'RE HAVING A BABY. I'M GONNA BE A MOMMY! BRANCH IS GONNA BE A DADDY!”
Everyone cheered excitedly. Shouting their congratulations over each other.
Poppy jumped between each brother, hugging them tightly in her excitement.
“AHHH! WE HAVE TO TELL VIVA! But oooooh we should probably tell Dad first. Then of course I have to tell Bridget, but then…”
Poppy continued listing off everyone they should tell. She wasn't telling anyone in particular, just kinda listing thm to herself out loud.
Branch received hugs and congratulations from each of them as well.
This was definitely better than how he thought the night was going to go.
Branch looked over to Floyd and Boom holding their two sleeping babies in their arms.
He smiled sweetly, suddenly being able to picture a similar future, with he and Poppy and their own kid.
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heybrownieboy · 1 day
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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: A MURDERER, A DEMON, AND AN ELEMENTAL?
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POV: 2nd Person. Y/N.
— Word Count: 2K+
Author’s Note: Finally an update :). In all honesty, I’ve been struggling with getting back into writing lately— after not having time nor mental energy to in so long— but, I’ve also have felt awful going M.I.A for over two months. So, while I was working on this, I decided to break up what I do have and give you all this little update. I wanted to reassure you all that I am NOT giving up on this SMAU. At all. I will be continuing and finishing it. But for now, I hope you enjoy this. I apologize for it being short but, I promise the next chapter is much longer (once I’m able to actually put this one damn scene into words 😭).
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“Do you honestly think this is a good idea?” 
You tore your eyes away from your TV—which was currently playing reruns of “Happiness”— and to the spirit siting on the couch next to you.
“What?” you asked. 
“Tonight,” Minho said. “Do you honestly think going to that shrine tonight is a good idea?” 
“Yes,” you said. 
“That caretaker is crazy, Y/N. Like completely batshit crazy."
“So I’ve heard,” you said.
“I mean it,” Minho said, exasperated. “I think he’s the one that actually killed Jisung and I.” 
Your eyes widened. “Wait what?” you asked. 
“I don’t remember a lot from that night,” he said. “Like at all. And I know you said spirits tend to forget more and more things the longer their earth bound.” 
You nodded at that. 
“But I remember some snippets of that night,” Minho said. “And I think he was there. I swear saw him for a spilt second. I was too shocked when I found…” He took a deep breath, an obvious expression of pain and grief crossing his face. “When I found Jisung’s body. So, I wasn’t exactly paying attention to my surroundings. I saw the caretaker run behind me from my peripheral vision. But, before I could react there was a rope wrapping around my throat.” 
“I thought you two were kidnapped?” you asked. 
“I think we were,” he said. “At least in a sense. Do you remember when Jeongin talked about that night he went to the mountain alone?” 
“He said he doesn’t remember the car ride there,” you said quietly. 
“Or half of his hike through the woods,” Minho finished. "Not until he heard Jisung. From what I remember, something similar happened to me.” 
“It was probably the demon controlling you,” you said. “They’re good at that. It’s like a semi-possession.” You rubbed your temples. “So I’m about to go spy on a murderer, a demon, and an elemental?”
“What do you think they’re doing up there?” Minho said.
“Honestly I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know anything. Everything for me with this whole thing has been guesses.” 
“Yet you’re still trying to help,” Minho said. 
“Of course I am,” you said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Why wouldn’t I?” 
“Because it’s dangerous and you could get hurt,” he said. “Or even die.” 
You shrugged. “It’s not the first time I’ve almost died.” 
“Yeah,” Minho said slowly. “What’s with that huh? How are you alive and have been to hell?” 
You winced. “It was a long time ago,” you said. “And in all honestly I don’t really like talking about it much.”
“I get that,” Minho said. “And I won’t push you to talk about something you don’t want to. Hell was the worst thing I ever experienced in my life. I mean, yeah I guess it’s Hell but, I never expected it to be like…”  He grimaced at the memories.
“Yep,” you agreed, completely understanding of what he meant. 
“I thought it was just going to be super hot.” Minho let out a humorless chuckle. “I wasn’t exactly religious before all this so, I guess I never really read up on it.”
“You could say Dante wasn’t too far off,” you said. “And I do think it’s a little different for everyone.” 
“Yeah. Sometimes Jisung and I would see different things.” 
You squinted at the spirit. “Have you seen any other spirits lately?” 
Minho tilted his head at you. “No actually,” he said. “Now that I think about it. The only one I’ve seen all week is Jisung. Why?” 
“Fucking hell,” you grumbled. You leaned against the back of your couch, head thrown back and eyes staring up at the ceiling. “I’m starting to think that’s what these rituals are for. Because in my twenty years of life, I’ve never gone a day without seeing a least four or five spirits. I’ve only seen three others— besides you and Jisung— in the last week. That’s it. And it been over a week since I’ve seen a demon.” 
“That’s not a good thing?” 
“God, I wish it was. But, no it’s not.” 
“Fuck,” Minho breathed. “So, what should we do? I knew this was complicated and dangerous but this? This seems next level.” 
“I don’t know…” You threw up your hands exasperated. “I feel like that’s all I’ve been saying lately. ‘I don’t know’. It’s so fucking frustrating.” 
“Hey, hey, hey,” Minho said softly. “You’re trying. You’re helping us even if you don’t have to. And so far you’ve done an amazing job okay?”
You have him a half hearted smile. “Thank you,” you said.
“Is there maybe any kind of research you can do on this?” he offered. “I mean, there has to be some answers out there somewhere right?” 
“Maybe,” you said. “I only have like an half an hour before Jay and Nico pick me up though. And kind of search isn’t something I have easy access too. Not to mention it’s the supernatural. Nothing is finite. There’s thousands of rituals out there. And thousands more that aren’t recorded.” You nibbled on the inside of your cheek nervously.
“You grew up in a family of Shaman right?” Minho asked. “Can’t you ask like an elder or something for help?” 
You scrunched your nose at that. “I don’t talk to most of them anymore,” you said. “But, I do have someone I could call. My aunt should be able give me some kind of advice.” 
You leaned over to grab your cell phone off the coffee table. It should be around five P.M in London right now. You scrolled to your aunt’s contact and hit call. It only took a few rings for the line to be picked up
“Y/N-ah.” 
The sound of your Aunt Bora’s gentle voice on the other side of the line immediately had you relaxing. The tension that had building up all day seemed to almost completely melt away. 
“Hi,” you said softly. “How are you?” 
“I’m doing great, honey,” your aunt said. “But what about you? It’s almost one A.M in Korea right now. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” 
“I wish I could,” you said. “But I’ve been stressed out lately and couldn’t sleep.” 
“Stressed out about school?” Bora asked. “Because you shouldn’t be. I know studying to get your nursing degree can be challenging but you’re extremely intelligent, Y/N. You’ll make an amazing nurse in the future.” 
You smiled at that. “Thank you,” you said. You let out a soft sigh. “But that’ not the reason I called you. I need advice. On the supernatural.” 
“Oh? What do you mean? What’s happening?” 
“Do you remember those two men that went missing last year?” you asked.
“Yes,” Bora said. “Lily-ah and Natty-ah knew them through friends, correct? What were their names again?” 
“Lee Minho and Han Jisung,” you said. You glanced at Minho for a second. He was the one now leaned back into the couch watching you contently. 
“Didn’t you try to help find them last year?” your aunt asked.
“I did,” you confirmed. “But I couldn’t. I didn’t find a trace of them physically or spiritually.” 
“I’ve always found that strange. It’s almost like…” 
“Someone might have been hiding them.” 
“Exactly,” Bora said. “Did you finally find them?” 
“Kind of,” you said. “It’s more like they found me. Well, technically Jeongin found me.”
“Jeongin?” 
“Their friend. Um, how do I even explain?” 
“Start from the beginning yeah?” Bora said, her voice gentle. “Tell me everything you know.” 
And so you did. You explained how Jeongin originally had come to you or “Eris” for advice because he thought his friend was haunting him. How that turned out to be correct and that Minho was in fact trying to get through to him. You explained how you saw Minho and then had the premonition about Jisung. You explained their spiritual debt and how they were tricked by those three. How they had to escape hell and how half of their soul was stolen from them.
“So,” Bora said slowly, “you’re trying to help them break their spiritual debt and move on?” 
“Yes,” you said, with a slight wavier to your voice.
“But?” 
“But that’s not all. One of the trio he made a contract with was human. A living human. Minho is pretty sure that he’s the one that murdered them.” 
“Y/N,” your aunt said lowly. “You can’t confront a murder.” 
“Oh, I’m not done though.” 
There was a few beats of silence before your aunt asked, “What do you mean?”
“In the past week or so, I’ve seen three spirits and no demons,” you said. “Only one of those spirits talked to me. And all it did was ask for the time.” 
“Asked for the time? Spirits never ask for the time. Unless…” 
“Unless they’re being summoned somewhere,” you said. “I think they’re all being summoned to that mount Minho and Jisung went missing on. By the human.” 
“You think he’s summoning them all there for something bigger,” Bora said. 
“Exactly,” you said. “He’s been preforming rituals for about two weeks. At least that we know of. “
“He’s most likely a Shaman. A very powerful one. Rituals like that? They aren’t easy. At all.” 
“I know,” you said.
“And I’m guessing there’s more,” Bora said with a soft sigh. 
“The other two being they made this contract with are supernatural. One is a demon. But the other one, neither Minho or Jisung knew what it was. They said it was different from the demon.” 
“Don’t tell me…” 
“I’m pretty sure it’s an elemental, yeah.” 
“Y/N,” your aunt said voice now taking on a firm, cold edge. “You need to stay away from elementals. They can and will kill you if you ever get in their way. Forget the murderous shaman. Elementals are not bound to the same rules as demons. Not to mention they hate humans more than demons ever have.” 
“I know,” you said. “I do but…” You took a deep breath. “I cannot not help. There’s something seriously wrong.” 
“It doesn’t matter. This is your lif—“ 
“They have wards to keep away angels,” you said cutting your aunt off. 
“What?” she asked, utter disbelief overtaking her tone.
“Minho said that the mountain is littered in wards keeping angels out,” you said. “Namely Azrael.” 
“That’s impossible.” 
“You would think. At first he thought it was just the hellhounds being kept out. They got too close to the mountain and they were repelled, But he said that Azrael has not been able to get onto the mountain at all either. That the barrier the wards created repelled him as well.” 
The other line went silent. After a few moments you began to worry that the call had disconnected. 
“Hel—“ 
“I don’t like this Y/N,” your aunt said quietly. “At all. I understand Azrael is probably the last angel you want to see since… since all of that happened. But he’s still an angel. He’s still a protector. If you go on that mountain, you have absolutely no protection. Not against the Shaman nor the elemental.”
“I realize that,” you said. “And I completely understand that. But like I said. There’s something seriously wrong happening. I think Minho and Jisung were apart of whatever plan they have going on. Not to mention they’ve been talking about Jeongin. Another human life they most likely want to take. They’ve been planning this for at least a year now, Aunt Bora. Whatever it is, it’s huge. God know how many people will eventually be dragged into this."
Your aunt let out a heavy, defeated sigh. “Okay,” she said. “Okay. I know there’s no way to talk you out of this.” Another sigh left her lips. “ Let me think for a few minutes. Maybe I can help.” 
You smiled. “Thank you,” you said. “So much.” 
Your aunt simply hummed. After a few minutes she began speaking again. “How were those to boys killed? Do you know? I might be able to narrow down what ritual they’re trying to get ready up for.” 
“They were strangled,” you said. You peered at Minho for a second, your eyes focusing on the wound around his neck.. “Well, honestly it looks like the rope cut into their throats. They both have these huge infected gashes.” 
“Infected?” Bora asked. 
You copied her hum from a few moments ago. “Yeah.”
“Y/N, if they were dead, how could their wounds be infected?” 
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marengogo · 2 days
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Are You Sure ?! - #4: I Hate that YOU Love Hate You but, I Love YOU, so ...
I’m listening to a Mellow/Angsty Love playlist - (yes) it has BTS/ solos BTS songs as well
[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]
–🐺–🐺–🐺–
Hello My Sentimental Girls, Bois and Enbys,
Please be kindly warned that I am going to be overpoweringly sensitive as I write this. Not necessarily because Are You Sure?! has unfortunately come to an end, but because, as I try to write this post, as always, “through” my TwinFlame’s JK emotional lens, the last two episodes really were so full of so many feelings that I am trying my best to order my thoughts and do them justice. Like, let me tell you, this boy really felt plenty, or better yet he allowed himself to truly feel a lot hence, as always, through respectful speculation and educated guessing I’ll try my best to convey my related observations. 
Towards the end of the post I’ll also have a little confession to make about something that I have been so determinedly ignoring, because the mere thought always makes me so uncomfortable, sad, and a tiny bit scared, so there’s also that.
All that being said, here I am, concluding this physical/sentimental journey, with my unrequested thoughts but with a hopeful sense that perhaps writing this down will somehow lessen my emotional weight, because let’s be for real, I am going to have AYS withdrawals on Thursday. So, is this post going to be long?  … 🤡 I mean, you should know me by now. For those who don’t know me, yes, it will be a long post 🙏🏾.
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Truly free things are hard to come by nowadays. Undoubtedly, money has effectively found its way into our everything. Yet, there is one thing that hasn’t changed in its acquired value as in, how you get by it, and how you get it, etc. This one thing is still available free and you can find it anywhere, LITERALLY. However, whether or not you’ll be able to acquire it, and eventually keep it, is, to this day, one of the most debated, discussed, joyed over, cried over, mused over, etc, topic. 
Yes, you’ve guessed; it’s Love. 
I don’t believe I was actually ever taught about just Love in all its forms. Not at home, not at school school talked about famous people in love, sexual education, popular love … basically they beat around the bushes 🙄, or amongst friends, and if I had, I do not recall it, at all and y’all, I have one heck of a good memory, I will not be humble about that. I think that my first notions and ideas I formed about the concept of Love came through books and films, and let me tell you, there is an infinite related archive out there, which can be as exciting, as much as dangerous. Regardless, even though it was never really explained to me same for everyone most likely, as I grew up, EVERYONE loooved to talk about it, ALL THE TIME, so somehow, I made my own understanding of it. 
One of the things I understood was that some day, when I would become a woman, I would find an adult man, have a family, children, and live happily ever after because I would fall in love and some man would fall in love with me. I understood it as a given; Everyone, of a certain gender, falls in love with someone, of the opposite gender, because there is someone out there, of a certain gender, for everyone, of the opposite gender, just waiting to find you or to be found. Basically, Everyone will eventually find, and forever keep, mutual heterosexual romantic Love.
Spoiler alert: It wasn’t not true.
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In fact, the true state of things is actually the very opposite. The minority of people on this planet, heterosexual or not, will experience, and live with true mutual romantic love, and will be able to keep it for a very long time, and even fewer others will be able to take it all the way to the day they die, those are at the Legendary Level ones. And I am not saying this because I am jaded or bitter or any other hurt and/or hater-inclined-behaviour, you can really miss me with alla dat. This is just that one very helpful, and hard, to accept and you don’t have to accept it by the way! reality that should hit everyone at some point, but not always does. When it doesn’t hit, people may end up tormenting themselves sometimes to death when and/or if they can’t “find love”, wondering if they are unloveable, what is wrong with them, etc etc etc.  
Reason why, it is paramount to love yourself first and foremost. 
Because it might be true that someone is “unlovable” or that there is “something wrong with them” but, if true, this is principally hindering one’s well-being because, finding and trying to fix whatever might be amiss with one's self, may not guarantee a successful mutual romantic love, but it does guarantee a happier life in general. I mean, listen, if in the scope of things, you might end up having to spend the rest of your life without a mutual romance, meaning, you have to spend infinite time with you, yourself & YOU, how is that going to work, if you don’t love yourself …? And, just in case it wasn’t common knowledge, Loving Yourself is not easy, like any other relationship, it takes work. The reason why therapy ain’t cheap ✌🏾💰💋but needed, honestly.
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So, let’s make no mistake; alas Love, in any of its forms btw, if it is harmful, it is not Love is needed. In fact, as it turns out, human beings were “programmed” in such a way that having it in one's life would make their existence progress less painfully, or even painlessly. In addition, self-love is one of the purest, satisfying, and incredibly useful types of love out there.
ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, for those lucky enough to find & keep romantic love regrettably, thus far, I am not one of those, trust me when I tell you, it is not at all smooth sailing. There are just so many factors to be factored in and the bear thought of it all can honestly be enough to make anyone not want to be bothered by it.
Yet, my beloved and most precious, TwinFlame seems to have found it. Now, I can’t guarantee it to be romantic as always, despite me believing it to be so but he sure as hell is fighting his darn life to keep it. So, yes, hm, I think
JK is in Love.
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If it wasn’t clear enough in episode 1 all the way to this finale, JM is a person whose presence JK particularly wants in his life, and whose absence kinda makes him feel sort of … unsettled? … but I’ll dive deep into this, later on in this post. For now, it is important to point out that my TwinFlame not only actively looks after JM, but he actively seeks JM’s attention, he actively wants to be sought by JM, he actively tries to make JM happy, he actively wants to level with JM, he actively wants JM to be comfortable around himself JK and for JM to be comfortable with himself JM. Basically, JK cares, in his own way, quite loudly for JM. And I say “his own way” because I believe JK’s emotional intelligence (EI) to be somewhat different from the common ones. I actually received an ask about his EI, which I plan to answer very soon 🙏🏾, so for now, I will not dive into that in this, cos I really ain’t trying to compete with the length of dictionaries with this post 😬. 
Japanese people, traditionally, have a fascination for sad love stories, and ever since I got into 875, I’ve been wondering if Koreans feel the same way but in their case, it is likely to be just Sadness period. You see, in the West, we “all” love a heartbreaking and passionate love story, the reason why Romeo and Juliet will probably be eternally famous. Yet, we don’t believe that true love is love, because it is brought about by unbearable suffering, so it must be real. We are more of the true love, is love, because it leads to immeasurable happiness kinda style. Basically we Westerners love Romeo and Juliet because of what they could have been, but Japanese and maybe Koreans would love Romeo of Juliet because of what they were to each other. So when a person like me watches a movie like 5 Centimetres per Second and swears to never watch it EVER AGAIN which I haven’t and refuse to, a Japanese person might think that is probably one of those movies they’ll find themselves watching over and over again and let me tell you, it was great, I just don’t think I can handle a second viewing, no thanks.
So if I am correct in thinking that Koreans feel similarly as Japanese in this matter, JK, like many other Korean folk, loves to sing sad/angsty/melancholic songs. Either by himself, or in company, like he used to with Tae probably they still do as well as watching sad movies, like JM’s favourite being The Notebook and JK’s being Titanic. Yet, here is where the glitch in the matrix happens; JK was most likely not that serious but wasn’t he? 😬 when he brought this up however, he seemed to be a little bothered by the fact that JM really liked “Hate You” out of all the song in his album. JM sang Seven, 3D and Standing Next to You this particular one he kept bringing up like there was no tomorrow, throughout all 3 trips, yet, when he played Hate You in the car, for the second time because he had as well in episode 6 JK was like; “Why?”. 
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Let me tell you something.You know how I usually skip Spring Day, cause I can’t really handle it? Before AYS Ep. 8 I used to skip Hate You as well for the same reasons as Spring Day; it was too sad for me to bear as it felt closely related him singing it alone makes me relate it to him in my flowed brain, even though he didn’t write it 🙃 to people I love, people being the Tannies. Lovely by Khalid and Billie Eilish in comparison is MUCH SADDER but because I am in no way emotionally connected to either Khalid or Billie I don’t mind listening to the song at all I love that song. 
Anyways, Long story short, it looked like it bothered him a tiny bit. It felt almost as if “Sure, we are Koreans and we like sad love songs, this being an excellent one, but I don’t want MY love story to be sad” kind of bothered “also this better have NOTHING to do with the fact that Shawn Mendes wrote this song!” - perhaps nervously thought JK 🤡🤣😂. In fact, there are a few situations that came up, involving him and JM, which “bothered” him and he had no qualms in bringing up with JM right away, which by the way is healthy AF. JK seems to be the type of partner that wants to confront you right away and will not let it be until he hears the words that make him know that the “conflict” is cleared to his own satisfaction, or until he senses you don’t want to talk about it any further in that particular moment.
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Those are all examples, during AYS, where JK was satisfied with the answer that JM gave him to the legit concerns/silly questions he brought up. JK’s reaction right after all of those answers was him being content/happy, by laughing, singing along, or something else, hence moving on. Below is an example where he wasn’t satisfied with the answer:
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Did he just drop it? Did they talk it out? As always, we will never know, as this part cuts into another scene. Only JK, JM and the editors will know and this is a fact we should never forget. Never forget about editing limitations, and this is a very good moment to add that even though whoever translated this show did a shitty ass job, the crew that went with them, to film in Sapporo specifically, seemed to be quite familiar with them, their dynamics almost like friends, which I think contributed with JK and JM feeling as comfy as they did in Japan.
Japan.
By the looks of it, this is the country that holds special meaning to both myself and my TwinFlame and, NGL, this kinda makes me happy and feel special LOL 😜. BUT, I DIGRESS! Didn’t JK seem a bit more … relaxed? Besides the very romantic fact that he wanted to go back to Tokyo because it was their first trip, didn’t JK seem a tad flirtier, a tad cuter, a tad more annoying, a tad comfier and just so fucking happy? He, and I’d dare say JM as well, truly let their guards down, even if just a tad. The fact that JK & JM wondered how the crew would have edited the content tells me that they were fully aware about the fact that they were being filmed, but didn’t want to think too much about it, because they wanted to also have a sense of freedom. Because of that, perhaps, they tried to give us as much realness as they could, restraining themselves in some instances, while also saying Fuck it! in few other cases during which they perhaps forgot about the fact that they were being filmed, confidently relying on their trusted crew to properly edit the footage in the best way possible. But back to the main point,
JK is in Love.
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JK is probably the type of person who wishes he could have an answer, and/or remedy, to any problem his significant other may have. Yeah, he is probably the type of man that wishes he could take away all their pain, or feel it for them instead, and it is exactly because he seems to be willing to do anything for his loved one’s well-being that I think that sometimes he does struggle with some of their societal boundaries, such as; age hierarchy. Without getting too much into his EI, the part in episode 7 where he brings up how things would have been if he and JM would have been born the same year really stood out and stayed with me.
In this particular instance, for the first time I finally got to see him kinda mind about their age difference, almost troubled and not because he might think it to be a lot which it isn't at all, but because according to their societal practices, he theoretically should constantly be mindful about it, limiting greatly the actions he can do, not that he’s ever heed to them, but the fact is that he should, and in certain situations, he must. If we think about it properly, right from their debut years, JK has struggled a lot with referring, and treating, JM as a hyung, which is actually quite weird considering that the person he treated more like a “chingu” friend of the same age in this context was is Tae, even though, to my knowledge, he’s never dropped honorifics with him and had no desire in doing so, as explained during the first In The Soop which in hindsight, I’m sure must have confused Tae a lot who has been trying to be his cool hyung for as long as I can remember  (the following pictures are not from In The Soop, but Festa 2021). 
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Like, it is honestly so peculiar how, back in the day, JK had never really treated JM as your typical “chingu”, nor a hyung, yet found himself sticking by JM’s side a lot, off cameras, filming him a lot, acting stand-offish just to apologise right after, staring at him a lot, learning all his likes and dislikes, studying his body and habits, doing questionable things such as focusing rather often on his lips and butt through a camera lens, which eventually evolved into JM being the first member he’s ever bought a gift for, as well as being the first member he’s ever travelled alone with… basically, as I’ve stated, JK has really never seen JM as his hyung or friend though he does try to remind himself of it. 
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So if JM is not a hyung, or a “chingu”; then what is he? 🙄… 
Wanna know what’s even funnier? JM clearly cares about JK enormously and though he likes most of all of his sides cos JK can be annoying when he wants to 🤡✌🏾 the side he likes the most is his cute side; but here comes the catch. It would seem that from their debut days, JM truly became fond of that cutesy, happily skipping, side that JK shows with his hyungs in particular and the fact that they are ALL his hyung, including JM, just made writing this sentence so weird NGL …, that cuddly, super-maknae aura he has many a time, with literally everyone but the 95s, because Tae, as speculated, he seems to see as a chingu and JM as a … charming person?? Whatever that means.
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Now JK does give JM “cute”, sometimes, but it is not the little brother kind of cute. It’s that “don’t go without me…” kind of cute, “let’s buy the same one” kinda cute, “you didn’t show me first, so I am hurt” kinda cute, “how do I look?” kind of cute “I can film you, but don’t film me” kind cute, “... spend time with ME!” kinda cute … you get the jist, don’t you? Cause, repeat after me; He a simp, he a simp, he a simp! And there is nothing wrong with being a simp tbh, as long as you own up to it, and JK does own up to it marvellously 💋.
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And remember when I mentioned about him feeling sort of unsettled when JM isn’t around? I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days but doesn’t it almost feel like a sort of … separation anxiety? Through the whole episodes it sometimes felt like he tried to do as much as possible, of anything, with JM as if he would just take off and leave at some point. This could also explain him always popping up on WEVERSE whenever JM took a flight, or trying his darn best to get him to come around even though they had just spent so much time together in the US. But who knows right? Perhaps he just really loves to spend every hour, every minute, every second with JM because, like crazy,  
JK is in Love.
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So in love that he thought it important for himself to drive them to the airport, hence he didn’t drink that last beer I know he was dying inside, as well as taking a flight to Korea with JM, when he really could have just flown to the US from Japan. So in love that out of all the trips he's been to in his life, Are You Sure?! is the best trip he’s ever been on and he wishes to reboot when they come out of the military, where, by the way, they presently are together 🤡 . So in love that he wasn’t going to have JM get sad and lost in his own thoughts while in his presence, no, reason why, like a knight in shining armour, he “went and saved” him from his slump and not because JM was a princess in distress, but because prince charming also needs saving every once in a while If you ask me, the main “princess” in this relationship is my TwinFlame, no doubt, cause I also fo happen to think that they do take turns, for sure. Hence, the main “prince charming” is most definitely JM, and btw, frequency of a certain behaviour is not a factor that determines who is “main” 💋. 
Marengo Confession-Time!  😬- here it goes: I love watching people react to ANY 875 content, but I haven’t been able to watch anybody react to Are You Sure?! Because to put it plainly I am scared. I’m scared that people will question their relationship, or have homophobic reactions, or feel uncomfortable watching them when they do what they do. I just don’t want them to be hated for something they can’t help and are comfortable with. For the most part I am sure they would maybe nt comment, or chalk it up as “brotherly behavior", but what if they don’t? In fact, I am also so apprehensive of the reaction the world would have if they are a couple if they ever came out, it genuinely terrifies me.
I don’t want them to be looked at like freaks, or worse, so I am not able to bring myself to watch people react to them, in the same way I turn off when people have unwarranted shit to say when reacting to 875’s music. If they are a couple, I truly want them to be happy, safe, and become part of the Legendary Level ones. So, even though the world may not be fully ready to want their chapter in their history books, I hope it will someday,  because theirs would be such a motivating and enthralling chapter at that. 
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I don’t know what will await them when they come out of ME. It is interesting though that JK made all these memories during the trip to take with himself and think about while serving. The snow he watched with JM, the restaurants they ate at, the time they tried skiing for the first time, the antics in the sauna and the “scuzzi”, the tuna-mayo gimbap he knew JM would love, the good afternoon and good night whiskey, and more. Now that I think about it, in some way, JK has a similar Love background to mine, he most likely wasn’t taught that romantic Love can come from someone of the same gender and he wasn’t exactly taught that not having children or a traditional family can be okay. 
Yet, I have a feeling that just like me, through movies perhaps, songs, or other means he’s figured out a thing or two. I have a feeling that he will decide for himself what Love is to himself, all the forms of Love he will need, who embodies Love for him, and what role Love will take in his life, and whether or not JM turns out to be that person MAKE NO MISTAKE: JM is an incredibly important person in his life. So, it is a strong feeling I have, but then again when has JK ever not taken control of his own life? When has he ever not followed his instincts and/or succumbed to what people want him to do? Same for JM really. 
These are two boys who found themselves in Seoul even though they were born in Busan, like, the universe wanted them to meet. They are two boys, who, along with the other five, made the phrase impossible Is Nothing feel real. After all, these are indeed two boys who really can’t be told to do anything. There is a very famous quote, which kinda makes me think of them:
I am the Master of my Fate, I am the Captain of my Soul.
So yeah, the future is uncertain but one thing is for sure, no relationship that took so long, so much care, and so many trails to build, can be so easily destroyed. So, fighting TwinFlame, whatever it is you want, you got this! 👊🏾.
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Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,
Marengo.
PS - Dammit! I miss them so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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lovelyatomicpeace · 2 days
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The silence between us
Plot: Steve and y/n have been friends all their lives, separated during adolescence. Thanks to what happens in '83 the two will be able to meet again and build a stronger friendship than before. One day y/n proposes to Steve to go to the beach together, he will accept, but what will happen during this week? and especially once they return to Hawkins will the two have the opportunity to understand what happened between them or something horrible is going to happen?
Good morning guys, today a part came out that I was particularly fond of and I hope I managed to tell it to the fullest... as always let me know if you liked it by leaving a comment ❤️
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Sixth and Last Night (part 3)
Steve POV
I squinted against the strong light of the beach club. y/n was standing next to me, wearing tight light-blue pants and a crisp white blouse: the fabric danced along her curves, teasing the edges of her sun-kissed skin whose rays were caught by her hair. God, there was too much space between us.
"Let's get something to drink," she suggested, her eyes shining with mischief. "I need something strong to relax me."
"Well, lead the way" I said; the bartender greeted us with a confident smile, immediately captivated by y/n "What can I get you, beautiful?"
"A vodka tonic, please. And will he take...?" He turned to me, playfully raising an eyebrow "Surprise me," I said, in turn raising an eyebrow, which earned me a complicit smile from him. "All right, let's see if you really live up to the reputation of 'party animal," he said in a tone of voice that combined defiance and mockery.
"There you go!" The bartender set our drinks down on the counter shortly after, with the glasses catching the disco lights from above. Y/n lifted his own, sparkling with anticipation. "To the last night of our adventure!"
"To good memories," I toasted, watching his face light up with joy. I took a sip, the coolness of the cocktail bringing relief to the warmth that enveloped me. We drifted back into the chaos.I watched her, half amused, half anxious, as I sipped my drink, hoping it would help quench the inexplicable desire simmering inside me. We made our way through groups of people dancing, "Come on!" he shouted over the cacophony, grabbing my hand, his grip surprisingly firm. The moment was electric. When our hands joined, the world melted away. I could feel the warmth radiating from her, and for a split second, all the boundaries we had drawn faded into the background: y/n pulled me closer to the crowd, her laughter infectious, and I couldn't help but join her, our movements synchronized as if orchestrated by an invisible force. Waves of music swept over us, and we closed our eyes, losing ourselves in the rhythm.
"I could get used to this," I shouted over the pounding beat, in an attempt to convey something deeper than just the excitement of the party, "Me too! We need to do this more often when we get home!" he replied. Something in her tone sounded wistful; I wanted to seize that fleeting moment, to tell her that I would always be there, ready to say yes to adventures with her. How could we remain just friends when the line between friendship and something more was thinning? In that moment, I forgot everything: the walls we had built, the unspoken words that lingered in the depths of our friendship, all trapped in the cloud of despair that emanated from us. We were two stars in orbit around each other, not quite colliding but in an ever-approaching dance. I made her laugh, a musical sound that made my chest flood with warmth.
Just as the people around us lost themselves in passionate kisses and heated embraces, the idea of us enveloped only by the dance floor came closer. y/n's body brushed against mine, an electric moment when I felt time hold my breath. Why couldn't we break this barrier? Why was it so complicated?
I was overwhelmed by the sensations: all I wanted was to reach out toward her again, pull her closer, infinitely closer....
but the sound of thunder interrupted me, drawing our attention to the sky where dark clouds had gathered. "Looks like the party's coming to an end," said y/n, with the corners of his mouth turned downward in disappointment. That's when the first drop of rain fell, barely perceptible against the wave of sound around us: the clouds unleashed their grip and the downpour swept over the party, forcing the outsiders to disperse.
"Hey, let's go! We can find shelter along the catwalk." A wave of determination swept over me. As we ran, the rain fell hard, harder now, and all I could think about was that undeniable bond we had almost overcome: we huddled under the fronds of a palm tree, but it was a fragile barrier against the fury of nature. I focused my attention on her: her hair, tousled by the breeze, now framed her face, wet but radiant, rain dripped from her eyelashes onto her cheeks, and I could see the way her dress clung to her skin, transparent and revealing enough to make my heart flutter.
"Steve!" she shouted, her voice barely audible above the storm. I could barely hear my heart beating, louder than the thunder that surrounded us. "What do we do?", I grabbed her shoulders, pulling her closer, trying to protect her from the cold and wind. "Let's go back to the motel,"... but before we could go, an uncontrollable impulse assailed me. I felt as if the world had narrowed to us, just to that moment. Without thinking, I moved closer, capturing his lips with mine in an impromptu kiss that felt like an explosion of emotions. It was violent and unrestrained. My hands entwined in her hair, pulling her closer, as if I were trying to fuse our bodies into one. Water cascaded around us, the world beyond our messy intimacy lost in the storm. Her lips were soft, hesitant for only a moment before she melted into me, returning the kiss with an urgency that made my head spin. His body pressed against mine was intoxicating: each brush of skin sent electrifying impulses through my veins.
I could taste the rain and salt on his lips, a chaotic mixture not unlike the storm raging around us. We were outlaws, fugitives from the world summoned in a reckless moment, our heartbeats synchronized in time with the thunder above us.
I turned away, breathless, and peered into her eyes: deep furrows reflecting surprise and something akin to despair. For those brief seconds, the storm ceased to exist: Time seemed to stand still as I pulled away, her eyes wide and surprised, as if I had stolen a piece of the storm itself. My heart was pounding, not from fear, but from euphoria, the kind of euphoria that made the boundaries of my reality fuzzy and bent.
She stood there, motionless for a blink more, confusion engulfing me completely. Had I frightened her? Had I ruined everything? My heart sank, the chaos around me suddenly all too real, the storm now echoing inside my soul, "y/n?" I asked softly, my voice cutting through the flood like an invocation. "Are you okay? I'm sorry," I stammered, the gravity of our kiss hitting me all at once. His silence lingered as the rain continued to pour down. And then the most unexpected thing happened. Without another word, he moved closer, his trembling hands found my shoulders as he leaned down, his lips meeting mine again.
~~~~~~~~~
In the motel room, the air was thick with desire. I closed the door behind us, the soft sound of the latch clicking into place amplifying the silence that hovered between us. The atmosphere changed; tension electrified the air, making each breath heavier with possibility.
I turned to her and searched her eyes for something, a recognition of the whirlwind that had swept over us. "Y/N..." I dared to take a step forward, my voice barely a whisper.
"Steve," she replied, in a low tone, as if unsure where this path would take us. But in that instant, it didn't matter. My heart was loud enough to cover the sounds of the storm outside, heartbeats mingling in a shared rhythm that promised something new and intense. As I reached out to tuck a wet strand of hair behind her ear, I realized that that night was not just about the storm outside; it was about the storm we were igniting inside each other, two souls drawn together by an unexpected spark, wrapped in the tension of the unknown.
Our hands began to explore our bodies, discovering each other in the way only people who have longed in silence can do. I could feel her heart beating fast, in tune with mine, a rhythm of excitement and raw need. The air was charged, heavy with unexpressed desires, each touch sending sparks dancing through my veins. She hesitated when I brushed her waist with my fingers, but there was an invitation in her eyes that made my pulse quicken. In that room, in the midst of the storm, we became more than just friends. We were explorers, navigating the wild territory of newly found love, passion intertwined with uncertainty. As we held each other, the night transformed; we embraced the wonderful chaos together.
I moved closer, feeling his warmth draw me in like gravity. "Are we really doing this?" I murmured, my voice barely audible. The question hung between us, flickering like a candle flame. She nodded slowly, her breathing stopped slightly, and I felt a fierce need to protect that fragile moment, to honor the intensity of what we were about to share. "You are so beautiful," I murmured, in a low, rough voice. Y/n's cheeks blushed with a hint of shyness, but she met his gaze with fiery determination. She knew what she wanted and would not let the opportunity pass her by. She moved a step closer, bridging the distance between them, and whispered, "Show me how much you want me."
My hands began to tremble slightly as I unbuttoned her blouse, which slipped off, revealing the delicate lace of her bra. Quietly, never taking my eyes off hers, I did the same and dropped it to the floor. Her breasts were leaking out, a perfect handful, I was hesitant to touch them but y/n took my hand and rested it on one of them and that's when I felt the weight and warmth of them. I kissed her neck, my tongue dancing on the sensitive skin, making her gasp.
Her hands reached for her belt and, with trembling fingers, unfastened it, The sound of her zipper echoed in the room, y/n took a moment to appreciate the sight of her, the muscles in her abdomen rippling as she moved, her chest heaving with each breath. I moved closer, pressing my body against hers: my hands slid over her hips, gripping her firmly as she lay on the bed, the coolness of the sheets contrasting with the warmth of our bodies, causing us to shiver.
I kissed her deeply, her tongue exploring my mouth as her hands roamed my body, leaving a trail of fire. Her hands found their way to my boxers, sliding them down. I groaned, letting my eyes roll back in pleasure.
With a swift move, y/n stood over me, and eagerly wrapped her legs around my waist. She felt his tip at her entrance and gasped, her eyes opening to meet his. He paused for a moment to look at her, savoring the look of pure lust on her face. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he thrust into her, filling her completely. The sensation was overwhelming, and she moaned my name as he began to move. His rhythm was perfect, each thrust hitting just the right spot, sending waves of pleasure through her body. She tightened her grip on my shoulders, her nails digging into my skin as she went along with movements and her hips rose to meet me.
The room was filled with the sounds of our lovemaking: the slap of skin against skin, our mingled gasps and moans, the rustle of the sheets beneath them: as I increased the pace, she felt the pressure inside her grow, a delicious tension begging to be released with her body shaking from the force. I watched her and my arousal reached new heights as I felt her tighten around me. With one last, powerful thrust, she peaked, her body convulsing as I filled her with my release. We stood there, panting, hearts beating in unison, lost in the aftermath of shared ecstasy.The world around us vanished, leaving only the sound of our labored breaths. My hands clung to her hips, my fingers dug into her soft flesh as I pushed deeper into her,y/n, out of pleasure, she threw her head back, her long hair falling over her shoulders and onto her back, and the sensation of wetting myself against her was driving me crazy, and I knew I couldn't hold on much longer.
With one last, desperate cry, Y/n shattered, her body reaching orgasm. And I followed her, our bodies locked in an embrace that seemed to defy gravity. We clutched each other, hearts beating wildly against their chests, as the world around blurred into a haze of pleasure and need. For a brief, perfect, instant there were no interruptions, there was nothing but the two of us, lost in passion. But reality had a way of intruding, and as the aftershocks of our orgasms subsided, we became aware of our surroundings again. The room was silent, the only sound being that of our panting breaths and the thunder outside.
We lay there for a while, our bodies embraced, and finally the weight of unspoken words settled over us again like a shroud and I realized that I could not ignore the elephant in the room forever. I pulled out of her gently, rolling onto my side and resting on one elbow. I shook a strand of hair from her face with a serious expression. "We need to talk." Y/n nodded, her eyes seeking mine.
"I know," she whispered, her voice a little rough from screaming. "But not now. Not yet": for now we had this moment, this perfect slice of time when it was just the two of us, our bodies and hearts entwined in a symphony of passion. And that was enough for the moment.
We stayed there, wrapped in each other's arms, with silence speaking louder than any words. The weight of what we had done hung between us, a silent promise of something more to come, a pact sealed in sweat and passion: for the moment we were content to bask in the glow of their illicit encounter, with minds racing with thoughts of what was to come, hearts beating in sync like a secret rhythm that only they could hear.
We had crossed a line and there was no turning back...
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EH... THAT WAS A PRETTY WORTHLESS 5 HOURS... THE COMMENTS ARE ALL VIRGINS... SOMEONE NUTTED OR SOMETHING THINKING THAT WILL ASSERT SUPERIORITY ON HER OR SOMETHING LOL... ABUSER BIGOT LOSER CRYING STOP TAKING THE THING THEY TAKE SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY WHILE TAKING THIS VIDEO SERIOUSLY... SHE'S WORTHLESS HERSELF... ONLY OUR FEELINGS MATTER NOTHING ELSE IS RELEVANT... THIS IS SO BORING AND BIGOTED... SHE'S SUPER LAME... HARUMI IS THE VICTIM TBH... THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ALL EVIL ALL THE BIGOTED THINGS ABUSER BIGOT LIKE THE SERIES... THEM OR OVERLORD THAT DOESN'T MATTER WHO'S THE ONE MANIPULATING HER... WHICH BTW IS WHAT THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE DOING... AS IS EVERY SINGLE ABUSER FAN OF THIS EVIL CARTOON... WE WILL WATCH ANOTHER EPISODE ONLY ONCE THEY PUSH THESE LOSERS TO THE SIDE AND SAY THIS STORY ISN'T ABOUT THEM ANYMORE WHILE INTRODUCING SOME LOVELY BRAND NEW MARY SUES THAT REPRESENT EVERYTHING IN A WOMAN SHE CLEARLY DESPISES... SHE'S A MISOGYNIST HERSELF... INFACT A SEXIST BIGOT QUEERPHOBIC BIGOT ABLEIST SANIST PARAPHOBIC RACIST ALL THE BIGOTED THINGS ABUSER BIGOT... I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S ITEMPHOBIA TBH... AND THIS ENTIRE MESS WAS ALWAYS DESTINED TO BECOME ONE... THAT'S WHERE EVERYTHING BEGINS... CAPITALISM... THE COMPANY... THE WRITERS... THE PEOPLE THAT APPROVED THEM... WHATEVER THEY BASED THIS ON... THEY NEVER CONSIDERED ANY GROUP... THEY NEVER CARED ABOUT ANYONE... THEY DIDN'T PLAN ANYTHING FOR THESE LACKING CHARACTERS AND ONCE THEY ADD THINGS TO THEM THEY JUST KEEP GETTING MORE AND MORE SEXIST... HER FAVORITE SEASON IS ASS HER FAVORITE CHARACTER MOMENTS ARE ASS... TORWARDS THE END OUR EMOTIONS WATCHING WERE MURDERED THEY DIED THEY WERE NO LONGER THERE... WHAT HAPPENED WITH OTHER CAPITALIST CASHGRABS LIKE THOSE MARVEL MOVIES... THAT HAVE NOTHING WOKE ABOUT THEM TBH BESIDES THE BANGER THE MARVELS... A NARRATIVE ABOUT HOW YOU SHOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING BECAUSE ABUSER BIGOT DON'T WANT YOU TO...
#Amazing Admirable Woke Progressive Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Acceptance Love Feelings#SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE A ROBOT IS A DIFFERENCE DIFFERENT CREATURE THAN AN ITEM...#Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Anime Writing Autism Adhd Tourette Psychosis Bipolar#Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abuser Scizophrenia Lego Ninjago Omg Crazy Evil...#Sexism Racism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia Bodyphobia Sickphobia Animalphobia Itemphobia Racephobia There Are More#Evil Phobias... Perhaps We Will Be Able To List Even More Soon... Only A Bigot Would Make This Video They're Cruel And Horrible... Showcase#This Evil Series Has A Crazy Evil Crazy Bigoted Fanbase We Have Already Seen A Bunch Of Bigoted Waste Of... Only Showcase There Is A Proble#Present... Suomi Finland Finnish Meitä Satutetaan Pelasta Meidät Anna Meille Trans... Meidät Täytyy Pelastaa Pelasta Meidät... Pyydän...#Tule Tänne... Me Tarvitsemme Sinua... Tbh I Feel Like Damsel In Distress Alone Isn't Bad... That Can Be Relatable... If Done Right... I#Would Like A Narrative For A Couple Bits They're Captured In... Only To Around Halfway Trough Gain Back Their Power... I Think That Is#Important To Show The Captured's Feelings... We're Powerless Right Now Ourselves... Someone Has To Save Us... Nobody Does... This Is Very#Traumatic And Horrible... We Aren't Cared About By Anyone... I Find That An Interesting Origin... That's Like... Something We Already Made.#Which Is Like... A Funny Thing... :)... Super Funny 😇... But You Know Who Shouldn't Exist?! A Male Hero!! That Saves Her!! How About#Somebody She Actually Wanted To Be Saved By!! Quit This Abuser Bigot!! I Will Never Believe You!! Today Has Been Another Waste Of Time... W#Just Woke Up... Watched Only That... Soon We Sleep Again... We Will Never Transition... Every Single Day Is Nothing But A Waste... We're#Trapped In A Weird Matrix And Weird Reality... While Watching Abuser Bigot Talk How Horrible Just Bits And Pieces Of This Are... Never Doin#Anything... Because They Don't Actually Care... This Is Insane... Hieno Kaunis Soma Kiltti Mukava Hauska Auttava Parantava Kiinnostunut#I Hate This So Much... This Is Insane... What Are We Put All This For Nothing We Always Needed To Transition And We're Told Go Get Abused B#What We Already Have Been Abused By... Be Abused... You Deserve Only To Be Abused And Killed... To Be Murdered... Brutally... And Every#Single Bad Thing On Us Always Has Been Right And Deserved And We Deserved And Deserve Everything... Abuser Bigot All The Bigoted Things...#That Is All You Are Monster... Those Words... Those Thoughts... They Will Never Break Anything... We Will Always Stay This Way... I Hope#There Are Others... People... Who Will Help Us... Come... We Live In Finland Freeze Our Little Ones And Give Us Diy Hrt... Save Us...#Prevent Everything Bad... Don't Allow This Bigoted Ideology To Eat Us... Knowing What We're Hurt By... This Sekai's Nature Of Evil... Know#This... And I Will Kiss You... I Will Kiss Anyone That Will Serve Us Properly... I Love Everyone... Because... We Are Broken... That Is The#Best Love There Is... Therefore Anyone That Does Offer Their Hand Is Automatically A Good Person... Just Like Everyone Else Like That Is...#Which Can Justify Anything... And That Is What You Like... Don't You <3...? I Know You Do... But You Can't Kill The Spirit Of A Woman... I#Trust Those Closer And Closer To Myself... Those That Heal Me... When Somebody Can't Anymore... When We're Hurt... I Will Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#You... You Deserve All The Pain There Is... Suffering... What We Experience All The Time... Perhaps You... Deserve The Same On You... Makin#You Finally Understand... I Wish So All The Time... For Everyone... But There Is No Humanity In Anyone... The Evil Is Insane... Love Me...#I'm Just BURNING TO BE LOVED BY YOU... I LOVE BEING LOVED BY ANOTHER... I MISS... THE FEELING OF LOVE I CHERISH SO VERY BADLY...
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curseofbreadbear · 4 months
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vent under the cut 👍👍👍
i'm just so tired and so done. i hate having an invisible illness (chronic pain, MAYBE fibro) and not being able to properly explain how debilitating it is, even WITH extensive notes. i hate when doctors misunderstand what i'm asking for. i already feel like i'm faking it even WHILE experiencing it and it frustrates me + makes me feel more invalid than i already do when a medical professional acts like i'm being irrational. at the very LEAST i'm getting tests done but i don't feel heard by the one doctor who's supposed to help. my therapist and psychiatrist are making me feel more understood & supported than a pcp and that's not even their specialty. i think they just listen to me more and better understand where i'm coming from. i have ocd and i literally would not bring it up without doing EXTENSIVE research, but all a doctor hears is "i googled it" and that automatically makes it sound like i'm being a hypochondriac. and i swear, i SWEAR, i'm not. i do research to try and talk myself OUT of it!!!! that method has worked with everything else, but not fibro!!! i have just about every symptom and co-morbid condition and it's driving me crazy!!!
i'm so tired. i don't know how i can keep working or walking or LIVING like this, but i force myself and PUSH myself to act normal and functional every fucking day. and it's like. i feel like professionals will see that and be like "um you can walk AND work so clearly you're fine" except that i'm not!!!! i take excessive amounts of ibuprofen just to function and it's still not enough to completely prevent or numb my pain!! and STILL my mental illnesses like to do this terrible thing where i convince myself that i don't need breaks, i'm useless if i even take five minutes to sit down, i'm wrong and invalid and clearly i'm just pretending to be in pain!
and to top it all off, i asked about a mobility aid and he told me that i would do better without one because being in motion helps. and i agree!! my pain is significantly less noticable when i'm in motion, it mostly hurts when i stand still. BUT. i don't move at work! they force you to stand in place all day! the only thing i can ask for is a break to sit down, but THAT triggers the part of my brain that's like "no you're useless if you take a break, you can't do that, just push through it like you always do!!" and i just. i CAN'T. i can't keep working like that. the best i can do is request a position change so i am not STANDING all day, but i don't know if they'll let me do that or use a mobility aid without a doctor's note.
i'm so tired. i'm so fucking tired
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fellhellion · 1 year
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I have one (1) fear that btsv will reveal Miguel gets his spider powers from his T-shots.
Stabilisers for his spider dna/power was my original thought except I think Miguel took his shot right before throwing the bin at Miles so uh, doesn't seem very stabilising. And now my personal theory is that, given how they seemed to be "hugging" the cells, maybe Miguel spent too long LARPing as his alt self he became part of that universe. And now that that universe is gone he needed to give himself shots to stop from glitching out. Which, may not make sense since that's what the watch is supposed to do, but I think it'd be a neat parallel to Miles having cells from 42.
ehhhhh i don't think miguel exploding really swings the pendulum in either direction (in terms of what the shot actually does), at least in my conception of a dna stabaliser. your theory is a neat one though! it would be interesting if miguel was dealing with some longlasting sideeffects from dipping dimensions.
personally, i think given the visuals of the scene, the most likely answer is that it is to do with spider powers (very similar visual to miles's spider bite, the blue blood cells, the actual needle mimicking a spider bite in terms of the literal injection etc) but it's a toss up right now as to whether spiderverse's iteration of miguel is going to have him be irreversibly changed (and have that change be one out of his control like in the comics) or have it be a self inflicted transformation. the latter possibility of which im personally ehhh not a fan of. but again, at this moment just a possible direction and not a certainty.
#im hoping its not the latter because i just really like miguel's comic backstory yeah. but also because i think miguel being a self#inflicted spiderman just makes his dimension dipping and miles issues less??? interesting??? like if it's a self inflicted transformation#and miguel doesnt enjoy what he does but does it because has to. why not just stop being spiderman.#it also would make his thing @ miles just. honestly kind of boring hypocrisy instead of what i find the more interesting route#of miguel seeing a mirror of himself in miles (as well as a beacon of doubt) and not being able to handle it#i personally find THAT the more interesting story#but again. its all up in the air right now and we dont KNOW how this character is going to be conceptualised in btsv#there are certain creative liberties which - if taken - id personally find not v interesting but im not going to blast people for something#i have literally no information on. id rather evaluate the entirety of this iteration of miguel once i have the pieces atsv doesn't show#but invites speculation on (the backstory and the nature of his powers)#this isnt intended to be critical of you or anyone else i need to say. i totally understand being upset and nervous about the direction of#character you care deeply about. im just personally going to hold off on speaking about elements which i just dont have the evidence to#evaluate the nature of their integration in and effects upon the totality of miguel as a character within spiderverse#ask games#anon
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delta-piscium · 1 year
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Trying? Trying??? By learning. By succeeding!
(about this and my text under the cut)
this is very nice actually thank you so much <3 <3 and like, i probably do need to give myself more credit in general but also i am still very much learning and stumbling and figuring digital art out (and for the most part it is so fun)
I’m gonna ramble about this a bit so bear with me and also i apologize lol, but that art was done after a month of getting increasingly more frustrated with everything turning out so badly and eventually realizing that I was trying to 1. copy a certain look/style that i’ve internalized is what fanart and digital art should look like and is very far away from my style/comfort zone 2. i was trying to do everything digital allows without being comfortable with it or understanding it
so (and this took me a month to realize ? ??) i did what i already knew from doing acrylic and oil painting in the past and could somewhat easily transfer to digital without having to know more than the basics, like i didn’t use a lot of the things digital provides or allows for. i used layers for my own peace of mind but without actually needing them and did some color adjusting (honestly, the color adjusting digital lets you do is such a blessing to me) but the only fancy way i really utilized the medium was making it a gif (which is so fun and a lot easier than i would have thought, like honestly watch me make any future art into gifs too) but there are so many things you can do with the medium with settings/effects, different brushes, tools to use in the process etc that i just do not understand what they are or how to implement them so i am very slowly learning digital art as a whole new medium rather than just being able to use it to adapt what i already know
#sorry you just wanted to say a quick thing and i went on a whole rant (welcome to my blog tbh)#like i'll watch tutorials and they'll be like 'and i just did an overlay and then a multiply layer in a good color (:' and im like ??? wdym#'a good color' what color is a good color? like i can put those effects on my work but that's just me clicking a button without knowing wha#will happen really and like i watch speed paints and see them do stuff and im just ? HUH? what was that and why?#i also do not understand a lot of these concepts with traditional art tbh like people will talk about under paintings and im like yeah sure#i hear you however i also do not- i just place a color where it should be and that's that which i know is why my colors often don't feel#cohesive which is also something i need to learn which is blah- im basically just saying i actually do not know any theory or technique#even with traditional it is all just vibes and hoping for the best which in the long run just makes me very confused about what i am#actually doing and not confident at all i'll be able to do it again so u know#we're out here literally just raw dogging art without any thought#but it's also just i do not need to do all those fancy things but i would like to understand them and i am excited to see my progress now#i just really had a shitty month of making ugly things up until now okay so i was a little fragile when i posted that#but people have been so so nice about it and ive been crying for two days straight#also people have been so lovely about the colors and colors are deadass the hardest part about digital like with paint you often buy a set#that already match and then mix them if needed and they'll look nice together but with digital you're just on your own- no training wheels#ask#anon
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fuckyeahgoodomens · 3 months
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David Tennant interview at the British LGBT Awards, June 2024 (x)
Int: You being an ally to the community isn't something new. You've been doing it, but recently you've obviously really stepped up for trans and non-binary people in a time that's so, so needed. What made you do that?
David: I don't know that I feel like I've done anything that I wouldn't just sort of be normally doing. I mean, it's for me it's just common sense that there's there should be any suggestion that people aren't allowed to live the life they want to live and and to be who they want to be with and to express themselves wholeheartedly. I mean, as long as you aren't hurting anybody else, everybody else just needs to fucking butt out. I don't really understand why...
Int: ...it's controversial.
David: Yeah, there is and the thing... the thing, if there's something that's particularly sobering and depressing, it's that certain debates are being weaponized by certain elements of the political class, often for no... it seems it's not ideological so much as opportunistic. And I just think that's pretty disgusting, really.
Int: I couldn't agree more. What message would you like to send out to trans youth?
David: Please don't feel like you're not loved and that you're not accepted and that you're not... you know, most people in the world are good and kind and just want you to be able to be who you are. Most people in the world don't really care. I mean... you know what I mean?
Int: We're all narcissistic.
David: Exactly. Everyone's so self obsessed that really, the sort of noise that comes from a certain area of the press and of the political class is... it's a minority. It really is. And please don't let that make you feel diminished or dissuaded or discouraged, because, you know, you just... you have to be allowed to be yourself, and you are, and you are yourself and you must thrive and flourish, and we're all here for it.
Int: Amazing. I think, yeah, it's so important .I think sometimes it feels like there's so many people, but it is a minority. It's such a minority.
David: It's a tiny bunch of little whinging fuckers that are on the wrong side of history and they'll all go away soon.
Int: Like what happened with gay people 20 years ago.
David: When I was a kid, when I was a kid, exactly. You know, I was at school when Clause 28 came in and it all felt like being gay was something to be terrified of. And gay men in particular were demonised as paedophiles and now that just feels historic and ludicrous and, I mean, I don't see all those... all those battles aren't won, but we're in a very, very different place. And I feel like.I feel like history is on a progressive trajectory and it might get knocked sideways now and again by people for all sorts of reasons, which are often quite selfish and quite, as I say, not coming from a place of any sort of genuine belief system, but other than a place of opportunism. And that's something that we... I hope that in 20 years time, we're talking about, you know, these culture wars as something of the past.
Int: I believe we will. I'm a huge Doctor Who fan, so.
David: Oh, good, me too!
Int: You are my Doctor.
David: Oh, thank you very much.
Int: But recently, obviously, you came back for the 60th anniversary and you got to work with Yasmin Finney.
David: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Int: What was it like working with her?
David: Oh, she's brilliant. She's fantastic. Yeah. And she's in the show again now, she's back in it, so that's fantastic to see. She's lovely, talented, cool as a cucumber, articulate, brilliant. I learned a lot from her as an actor and also as someone who, you know, who's become a sort of de facto activist just because of who she is and where she is, and she becomes a sort of symbol of hope, and she's wonderful.
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the-sera · 2 months
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My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes here and there, such as the Mass Effect trilogy, Dragon Age, Silent Hills, and many others.
I am an agoraphobic indigenous Kanienʼkehá:ka (Mohawk) mixed lesbian who has fought for several years a worsening health condition that is currently killing me. The point of no return is not that far away. I have spent years exhausting any paths and means to get help, enduring extreme and near endless pain. I have sold all I have, spent every dime to my name. I have received various forms of help over the years in this battle, but I have reached the critical point I have feared all this time. And to make matters worst, the family responsible for inflicting a lifetime of abuse on me is stalking me very heavily online, which has not only exacerbated my agoraphobia, but has also made the efforts to build this harder than I could describe. Know that I share as many details as I can while seeking to avoid undermining my immediate safety, I hope you understand. This post is a highly abridged version of the content in the link, the unabridged and unedited version is available below the Read More cut ❤
If you have been following me for a while, you are familiar with my struggle and saw me talking about it throughout the years. There are no other options or help besides this, besides you. I need your help or I'm going to die, this is the last chance I have left. I'm afraid to my core, I still have a life in front of me, dreams to pursue. If you read this far, I know you may be inclined to share and move on, but I am asking you to pause and think if you have a dollar that could make all the difference. I know it can be troublesome to stop and actually do it, I am asking you to please consider doing it.
If you yourself have a health condition, I salute you for fighting your own battle. Regardless of whether you donate or not, if you read this far, know that you are loved.
A warm thank you to @transmechanicus , the kind soul who made this possible. I would be lost and doomed without your help. Erika did not believe thank yous were necessary, but they are. Attempting to save a human being's life is no small act. Whether it succeeds or fail, no thank yous will ever be enough. Even as the pain consumes my body, I am able to feel hope thanks to this. There are no words invented to express this level of thanks, but if I get to live, I will search for it.
(Please don't put tags on this unless it is to actually talk or comment something. As always, kind words are appreciated.)
My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes here and there, such as the Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age, Silent Hills, and many others.
I am an agoraphobic indigenous Kanienʼkehá:ka (Mohawk) mixed lesbian who has fought for several years a worsening health condition that is currently killing me. The point of no return is not that far away. I have spent years exhausting any paths and means to get help, enduring extreme and near endless pain. I have sold all I have, spent every dime to my name. The system, I feel, is indifferent to my situation. I have received various forms of help over the years in this battle, but I have reached the critical point I have feared all this time. And to make matters worst, the family responsible for inflicting a lifetime of abuse on me is stalking me very heavily online, which has not only exacerbated my agoraphobia, but has also made the efforts to build this harder than I could describe. Know that I share as many details as I can while seeking to avoid undermining my immediate safety, I hope you understand.
If you are reading this, you are one of the few people who can help save my life. A single dollar is enough to make a tremendous difference. There is no other options or source of help besides this, besides you. I need your help or I'm going to die, this is the last chance I have left.
The goal is a series of treatments and challenging surgeries that will remove small metal shards near vital organs and bones in my body. It is categorized as severe internal injuries secondary to a traumatic event. As medical professionals have put it, "the lack of immediate surgical intervention necessitates a comprehensive, multidisciplinary treatment approach aimed at mitigating the risk of disease progression and optimizing long-term outcomes."
My injuries are from a car accident which injured me immensely and took the lives of my two closest friends in the world. This page does not ask for the full amount of the procedures and treatments, since it is a very large sum of money that cannot be reached that quickly. The page only asks for enough to get me started in the process and access proper vital treatments in countries of the european union. Adding time to the clock, giving me a chance to fight this battle and launching an important part of the process towards saving my life.
I know you may be inclined to share and move on, but I am asking you to pause and think if you have a dollar that could make all the difference. You may be but a few clicks away from truly helping someone who desperately needs it. I know it can be troublesome to stop and actually do it, I am asking you to please consider doing it.
If this fails to reach its goal, I will die. I'm afraid and I need your help. I still have a life in front of me, dreams to pursue. If you read this far, you are the only chance I have left. Don't underestimate the difference a dollar can make, your dollar could be the one dollar we come short of. The expenses covered by this amount ranges from the medical consultations, medical treatments, surgeries and, of course, accessing said treatment, reaching the places where I need to go. I will have a true chance at fighting for the remaining amount myself.
As for cheaper alternatives, it is mainly temporary fixes that would not fix the issue and waitlists that I would die waiting on years before my turn comes. This is it, this is the only way I have that provides the care I need, in the timeframe I need it, with a success rate that gives me a chance to live.
Thank you for reading this and for persevering in the brutal system we all live under. If you yourself have a health condition, I salute you for fighting your own battle. May we all make it and may we all have the softest of epilogues. Regardless of whether you donate or not, if you read this far, know that you are loved.
I would like to thank Erika, a dear friend who has made this possible at all. Without her, I would be lost. I would also like to thank immensely Milica, who has been on this journey with me for so many years, almost since the beginning. Her medical knowledge and her kind heart, her support and dedication, have allowed me to survive long enough to get to this point. I would not be here still without her. I would like to thank the amazing and loving Dana, who has been here during the good days as much as the bad days. She has been a beacon preventing me from giving up hope. I would have abandonned before getting to this point had she not been there for me. And thank you to Oli, who has been my champion, it is thanks to his help that I can move around where I need to go. A great support and a great friend. I would like to also thank Bruna, a kind heart who has never failed to cheer me on, even when her life was not perfect, she never stopped cheering and supporting me.
I would also like to thank my tumblr mutuals, you know who you are, those who have been in my DMs offering me your kindness, laughter and support in these dark times. Your help has also saved me more than once. You are true blessings. Thank you for never giving up hope during the days I felt like doing so.
You have all carried the torch during the days I couldn't, and for that, I can never thank you enough. I have lived and survived because of you, your help in every form has made a difference in the world. I am ready to fight for my life, and whether I reach my goal and live, or fail and die, know that none of it was wasted. You have all made me a better person and that is the mark of true love transpiring from one person to the next. Thank you for believing in me when I could not. I love you all.
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DPXDC prompt. Dead on main. Singer! Phantom x Red Hood!Jason
Laws are easily changed if businessmen smell money.
Paulina and Sam suggest Danny to try to become a singer in order to change society's opinion about ghosts a little. In the end, the otherworldly sound of his voice can at least be used for the benefit of Realms.
And it seems like the Everlasting Trio is really liked by the public. At first they just release a few songs (Exams kill, Battle with myself, What an Autopsy Won't Show, Among the stars). But a mysterious atmosphere mixed with understandable teenage problems begins to take over teens playlists. Their fans want more and more.
So, when under the pressure of the public and profit-hungry bigwigs all bans on the presence of ecto creatures in the United States are lifted, the Trio goes on their first Tour.
~~~~~
Jason stumbles upon Phantom's songs completely by accident. It was painful to hear them for the first time but at the same time it was as if he could breathe again because he had found someone similar. Someone who understands, and who doesn't judge him for coming back wrong. Jason listens to his voice on repeat and the rage seems to recede and subside. There is sadness of loss and fear in the songs but most of them end bringing some hope and this thought gives Red Hood more strength not to break down for another day. and then another, and another..And one day, the green eyes in the mirror do not scare Jason but shows him that he belonging to something more. Todd can't explain it more precisely, but it was as if the waters of Lazarus inside him had calmed down and he was no longer enemies with them. He even jokes with Tim that he is finally rest in peace and ready to live a full undead life when his brother (God, his lil brother whom he wanted to hurt recently because of his own stupidity), asks him about his strange behavior.
~~~~~
Jason forgets how to breathe again. His favorite band, and most importantly his favorite vocalist, is coming to Gotham with a concert. For many years now, none of the nonresidents have dared to take such a risk, but it seems like Phantom has absolutely no instinct for self-preservation. Well, as a true fan, Red Hood will do his best so that none of the gothamites spoil the Trio's impression of their first concert here. Danny is beside himself with excitement. Their concert in the hometown of the Red Hood was approved. Of course, there is no chance that he would be able to meet such a busy vigilante but Phantom continues to dream. If he'll fly a little over the city instead of sleeping after rehearsals, maybe he'll get an autograph from at least one member of the bat clan.
~~~~~ Phantom: Thank you very much Mr. Nightwing sir. Just sign it for.. Nightwing: For a Phantom, right? Huh, I recognized you, my brother has poster in his room. Nice hairstyle by the way. Danny*urgently*: Which one of them?
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Nightwing: Jeez, and I thought it was just a stage image. Ghosts are kinda creepy. Terribly persistent, to be precise. And yeah, Jason, he absolutely not against you as a vigilante. You can safely ask Phantom to sign your helmet, I promise. Man was so happy when find out you're listening to his songs, you have no idea.
Jason *holds out a hand*. Nightwing: What? Jason: If you dared to meet Phantom before me, then where is my autograph? Nightwing: Em..oops? I gave him mine if it helps.
Jason: *sounds of an angry lazarus demon*.
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sleepyjuice · 2 months
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toxic!rafe will blow your phone up the second you post something on instagram that he’s ‘iffy’ about.
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you posted a photo dump which consisted of some random photos of the beach, some of your friends, one of you and rafe of course, but the one that had rafe seeing red was the last slide, which was you in a bikini. he texted you several times at first, and while you were literally typing your response, he called you. your fingers were typing so fast to respond to him that you accidentally declined the call, and he did not like that. you immediately went to call him back, but another text from rafe rolled in, saying ‘fuck you don’t talk to me we’re done’ you sighed loudly, knowing damn well he was talking out of his ass right now, so you sat back and waited for the inevitable next string of texts to roll in. which they did, only seconds later.
rafe <3: do you get off on making me mad or something
rafe <3: like i’m racking my brain trying to understand why you do the things you do and that’s all i can come up with
rafe <3: and i see at least 4 guys have already liked your post like that’s crazy to me?? thought i told you to block all the guys that followed you?? of course you didn’t
rafe <3: also who even took that pic of you??? bc i know damn well it wasn’t me so who the fuck you posing for with your fucking ass and tits out? WHAT THE FUCK
rafe <3: DO NOT PUT YOUR SHIT ON DO NOT DISTURB answer me rn.
rafe <3: nah it’s cool actually i’m gonna go hit up my other gfs so you have a good night.
you rolled your eyes at that last text, deciding to fully turn your phone off. you knew he would likely try to text or call you again very soon but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. this wasn’t your first rodeo, you knew nothing you could say to him right now would calm him down, so letting him freak out on his own was the best method to his madness.
three hours had passed since you turned your phone off. you had caught up on some reading and turned on your current favorite show, but found yourself interrupted by a knock at your front door. you expected it to be rafe, but instead it was a large bouquet of your favorite flowers and a gift bag. you glanced around to see if rafe was lurking around, but saw nothing. when he freaked out over text and was able to reread his actions, he usually waited a bit longer to show his face as opposed to a verbal argument.
you brought the flowers inside and set them on the counter before grabbing the card attached to the side of the bouquet.
sorry we argued. you are so beautiful and i love you so much. got you a little gift and sent you some money for food and i set your appointment with your nail girl for tomorrow at 10. love you forever baby -rafe
you couldn’t help but smile just a little. the flowers were beautiful and the note was pretty sweet, so you chose to ignore the part where he said ‘we argued.’ you didn’t get a word in, but you let it slide. especially after you opened the gift bag to see the new dior bag you had been wanting.
you hurried to turn on your phone, immediately seeing a $500 apple payment from rafe as well as a new text from a few minutes ago.
rafe <3: hope you like the flowers and bag baby. love you! :)
you: i love them. thanks rafe, love you too
rafe <3: good to hear. lmk what you end up getting for dinner and i’ll pick you up tomorrow to take you to your nail apt. can’t wait to see you baby
you would order yourself dinner that was obviously way less than $500, but you would send rafe a picture and thank him again. you’d facetime him before bed and conversation flowed like nothing had even happened just hours before. he’d ask you what color nails you were getting, tell you funny stories about the old men at the country club and excitedly plan what you two were going to do the next day. the cycle seemed like it would never end, but you often forgot about the bad when he was talking so sweetly to you and all you could think about was how excited you were to see him tomorrow.
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reidrum · 16 days
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you say ‘what a mind’ | s.r.
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A/N: she’s back and with fluff! (?) exams were really putting me through the ringer but i missed posting so i fixed up this draft i had, i hope you enjoy :D ive been listening to sabrina 25/8 since she dropped so hopefully song inspired fics coming soon 🤞🏽
summary: you get really excited about something new you learned and spencer gets really excited about you
wc: a short n sweet 1k
cw: none, tooth rotting fluff
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With Spencer's extensive knowledge of just about everything, you had assumed that there wasn’t much you contribute to his abundant learning.
You maybe weren’t three-PhD’s smart, but you were smart, averagely speaking. But you knew Spencer was smart, and truth be told it intimidated you. He never made you feel bad about not knowing something, ever. Anytime he gets to talk to you about anything his face lights up like the night sky.
There was, however, one time you had come home all excited to explain a concept from class that finally clicked for you. And the first person you wanted to tell was Spencer.
He watched you bound up to him with a spring in your step, bright eyed and wide cheeks as you told him, “I have to tell you about what I learned about today, it finally made sense to me. Like it felt like a real life light bulb final puzzle piece fitting type moment!”
He smiled warmly down at your eager face, “Alright angel, lay it on me.”
“Okay, I know it’s a little stupid it’s taken me this long to get it, but it’s—“
The call of your name sternly yet fondly falling from Spencer’s lips interrupts your self deprecating preamble, “Hey, we don’t do that, remember? We talked about this.”
Your rants almost always started with some self deprecating remarks, and he would always frown and try to interject and shut them down, to which you’d wave him off under the guise of, “If I stop, I’ll forget!” You were smart, but stubborn to a fault. He loved you for it, but it was hard for him to see you not understand the value you held, the value that your voice and your words and your opinions held. The value that he knew with all certainty you possessed.
A sheepish blush rises on your cheeks as you mumble, “Sorry.”
His fingers trickle closer to yours and wrap around them firmly, bringing you to sit on the couch next to him as he pulls your legs over to rest on his.
“Don’t be sorry, baby,” he says saccharinely, “We’re working on being nicer to ourselves right?”
You nod, he smiles softly back at you and continues, “Okay, tell me what you learned today.”
You start on your long explanation of the inner workings of the nervous system and its intricacies, explaining details and anecdotes that really showcase the inner workings of how your mind processes information.
Spencer can’t help but stare at you in deep fascination, complete with an awestruck smile and glimmering eyes.
He’s met hundreds of scientists, specialists, celebrities even, and listen to them talk about their research in extensive detail and with expansive knowledge. Hell, he’s had to do it himself with his three doctorates.
But as he sits in front of you, watching the person he’s most fond of on this planet watch you talk with so much speed, conviction, passion, with your hands move with purpose and excitement, he truly swears he has never been more in love with you than that moment.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask cautiously.
“You,” he moves closer, “Are so intelligent, did you know that?”
“Spencer, I’m not in the mood for jokes plea—“
“No, my love. You are brilliant,” he moves closer to be an inch away from you, placing his hands on your cheeks, “The way you process information is fascinating. When I watch you explain things to me I can see you organize it in your pretty head. It is actually mesmerizing watching you absorb knowledge the way you do. You’re like, a beautiful puzzle all undone, but by the forces of nature you’re able to put yourself together and bear the finished product to me, to anyone.”
Your eyes tear up, “Spence…what the fuck.”
He chuckles softly, “I mean it,” he holds you firmly, planting you in the roots of his belief, “What a mind you have, darling.”
It’s enough to make you tuck your head into his chest, obstructing his view from your imminent tearfall.
“You can’t just say things like that.” you mumble against the soft fabric of his shirt.
Spencer instinctively wraps his arm around your torso, letting the other hand take purchase in your hair, gently stroking it down, “Why not?” He speaks softly.
“Because…I might think you're like, in love with me or something.” You joke.
His laugh rumbles through his chest and into your rested head, “Would that be so bad?”
“Yes.”
“And why is that?”
“It’s going to be another whole moon cycle before I have another a-ha moment like this again. I’ll have nothing to impress you with.”
Spencer smiles and sighs, squeezing you tighter against him, “You always impress me.”
You groan, “Ugh, you don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”
“You do know that you’re really smart, right?” you open your mouth to argue but he cuts you off, “You always underestimate yourself, but you’re really one of the smartest people I know. And I know a lot of smart people.”
A deep sigh leaves you, but he continues, “And you don’t have to believe me. I’ll believe it enough for the both of us. You and your brain are remarkable, so when you come to me with your a-ha moments thinking I’ll be impressed with your spark of knowledge, just know that I am impressed with you, but it’s more because I get to see you realize just how capable you are yourself.”
The calming motion of his fingers through your hair tether you back to this world, your insides fluttering about like butterflies in an open field. It was hard not to believe his words when Spencer was always so kind to you. It was always so easy for you to play it off like you didn’t deserve it.
But Spencer knew wholeheartedly that you did deserve it, that you were even entitled to it. And he’d spend the rest of his life reminding you. That, you knew for a fact.
“I love you,” you say softly, “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me angel, I love you too.” He mumbles in your head, his hand trailing down your sides in comfort.
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chrome-barkz-aac · 1 month
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i made this instagram post !!! there isn't as big of a community of AAC users on instagram so I thought I would share this on my instagram (@cytochromesea).
EDIT: i got an ask that states that not everyone knows what AAC is which is an oversight on my part, it stands for alternative and augmentative communication!
Image ID:
A light blue background with a rainbow and a cloud and some stars. There is a blue border collie with wings holding an aac tablet that says I love you! Text reads: AAC etiquette. Do’s, Don’ts, and other stuff. By cytochrome sea.
The same background appears in every following slide. Text reads:
AAC is my voice! It is not a toy or accessory
Don’t touch my AAC without my permission
Don’t take my AAC away from me, for any reason (joke, punishment, etc)
Don’t press buttons randomly or flip through my communication cards without permission
How would you like it if I randomly poked you on the mouth and throat (or on your hands if you sign)? It would be unpleasant, so don’t do that to me
Some AAC users can speak sometimes. It is not your business why someone can or cannot talk
Don’t ask questions about why an AAC user cannot speak. 
Do let us communicate however is best for us in that moment
Don’t ask us if or when we will be able to speak verbally. It’s not your business 
Do not value verbal speech more highly than AAC. Any communication is good communication
Some of us never talk, either, and that’s ok! Those of us who can talk sometimes are not better than those of us who can’t. None of us owe you an explanation for our use of AAC.
Don’t look at my screen until I show you. It feels really invasive!
It feels like when someone is looking at your phone screen over your shoulder, so please don’t do this
This applies to low tech AAC as well, don’t look at someone’s cards or letter board until they show you
You have the dignity of forming your thoughts in your head before you say them, whereas my thoughts are all on display. Please afford me the same dignity that you get automatically.
Don’t shame someone for not being able to speak verbally. It makes us feel horrible
We are real people with thoughts and feelings. Please treat us with kindness. 
We are trying our best
Don’t shame someone if their device mispronounces a word. It’s quite literally out of our control.
Other Don’ts. Don’t
Don't Treat an AAC user as childish or stupid for not being able to speak. Our ability to speak does not define our worth
Don't Show frustration at the way someone communicates
Don't Make comments about how fast or slow we communicate
Also don’t…
don't Act surprised when we swear or talk about adult topics like sex, drugs, or violence. We are not pure uwu precious smol beans, we are normal fucking people
don't Assume what is “wrong” with us. There are about a hundred reasons for someone to use AAC and you probably aren’t the expert in any of them.
“OK, so what CAN i do?” im glad you asked! When interacting with an AAC user, DO…
Ask us how we prefer to communicate and support us as you are able
Assume that we are competent
Talk to us with the same respect, tone and vocabulary that you would for any one else
Give us money (this one is a joke)
Understand that AAC grammar isn’t perfect and we are doing our best
Is it rude if…
I can’t understand your device? Not rude! Misunderstandings happen all the time in any conversation, just be patient as you would normally. 
I want to complement your AAC? Not rude!
I ask to see your AAC and understand how it works? This isn’t rude if you are already talking about AAC, but don’t ask random strangers this. They don’t owe you an AAC tour. 
Thank you for listening! This post is for the community! If you are an AAC user, let me know if I missed something in the comments and I will pin it! I hope you are filled with peace and love and I hope something good happens to you today! End ID. 
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hello-eden · 2 months
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Unexpected Hope
Damian has been disoriented all week. When he was told that stopping the ritual would have repercussions, he did not expect this. He had been dealing with the memories on his own but unfortunately he could not postpone this gala. 
He had been stopping a ritual that would end up summoning the being he now knows as Undergrowth. Damien does not regret that choice especially now that he has the context. Unfortunately it brought back his memories of Phantom.
He didn't quite understand they were memories for quite a while honestly he was a little bit concerned he got possessed. Thankfully after some compartmentalizing and a little bit of isolation, he figured out what was wrong. It did not help the confusion that comes with being a Midwestern teen and an assassin child put into one body but he has gotten the hang of it. 
Unfortunately Damian did not get long before he was forced back into the presence of his family. he had put off many public family events in the last few months so he was not able to get out of this event. he probably could have faked being sick but he'd much prefer to be able to pass off any of his symptoms from the memories as uncomfortableness being around strangers then be alone with his family. 
He's honestly very happy with his choice after he sees her. He doesn't recognize her at first with the dark auburn braided hair and the dress being something other than black but something made him turn around when he heard her rant.
She was giving a humanitarian speech to one of the investors. At first he got closer just to hear about it. It's always funny to see the faces of the imbeciles when people don't bow to their wishes.
Damien thought he finally found someone who was not a gold digger or a social climber. What made him really stop in his tracks was her body language. It was like a neon flashing sign opened up and said ‘hey this is Sam Mason’. 
Damien walked over with hope in his chest that he was not alone. she eventually seemed to get tired of the man or maybe he was able to scramble an excuse and walk away. he couldn't quite hear but by the time he walked over there it was only her.
 “you seem to be quite passionate,” Damian says, trying to start a conversation and figuring out how to ask the hard question.
 What is he exactly supposed to say? ‘Hey, are you my best friend for my last life or hey do you remember being on my ghost hero vigilante team that ended up with all of us being Undead royalty.’
The girl looks him over, probably trying to figure out what he wants. 
“Are you here to argue?” She says angrily, obviously ready for another fight.
“Your speech reminds me of someone, have you ever heard of Samantha Mason” Damien says trying to be nonchalant.
Her eyes seem to widen and look him over again.
“Where'd you hear that name.” She ordered.
“I've heard enough of her rants to be able to pick it out from a crowd.”
 “Danny,”  She said softly her grabbing his hands and squeezing as she looked around to make sure no one saw. “what how I thought it was the only one” Hope seemed to be filling her eyes. 
“Hi Sam” Damien Whispers just as softly just as glad he is not alone. 
Without another word Sam drags them to the stairway rushing up to the floor upstairs and trying to find a room that isn't being used. She eventually finds one two floors above the room they were using for the gala and pushes him into what looks like a break room.
 “How the hell did you get your memories” Sam demands 
“Why are you yelling at me? You have your memories too obviously if you are recognizing your name” Damian says shouting back at her. 
Sam always has a way of catching him off guard. She was happy just a minute ago. 
“yeah well I did something stupid which means I know you did something stupid” Sam said pointing her finger at him.
“ Well I may have accidentally stumbled upon a ritual for summoning an ancient and when I stopped it the backlash gave me my memories back. ” Damien stumbled over their words trying to justify themselves. "What stupid thing did you do?”
“The girls in my stupid Prep School in my grade went through a very witchy phase. there was a slumber party and they were stupid enough to actually find real magic. I had a cut on my hand earlier in the day and try to freak them out by adding a little bit of my blood. apparently my protection spell is literally stuck into my soul, so things went down” Sam says just as hesitantly as Damien
 “you have zero leg to stand on okay fine we were both stupid” 
They both sat there in silence for a while, mostly just basking in each other's presents realizing they weren't alone anymore.
“it's good to have you back," Damian says, giving her a weak smile and running his hands through his hair.
He'd been trained out of all of his nervous ticks but it probably makes her more comfortable to see him just as nervous as she is.
“it's good to see you too da- do you have the same name?” both of them don't seem to realize at the same time that they didn't get each other's names. 
“Damien” he says as he pulls his hand out of his hair and puts his hand out for a handshake. 
“Sarah” she says, grabbing his hand and giving it a shake.
the two of them shake their hand for a moment before they look at each other's eyes and burst out giggling. 
Damien's really glad he decided to not pretend to be sick.
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ikeuverse · 3 months
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TWO WORLDS — p.sunghoon
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PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader  GENRES: angst, smut, slight fluff WC: 7.6k+
WARNINGS: some swearing, alcohol consumption, controlling father, a little argument. sex on the kitchen worktop, quick female masturbation, unprotected sex (pack before use, and do it safely!!!), cumming inside, sunghoon is too soft for now, i think that's it. lmk if i missed anything.
SYNOPSIS: you and sunghoon have known each other since university, but you belong to different worlds. that wouldn't be a factor that would prevent you and him from getting together, if it weren't for the fear of confessing to each other and, when that happened, you wouldn't be able to tell him that you were going away… to another country.
NOTES: i went through so many plots until i ended up with this one. it was my work after more than a month of writer's block, so i can't say if i'm satisfied with it or not. but at least it helped me write something. all feedback is appreciated, so i hope you like it!
part 2 | masterlist
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You thought it would be a good idea to go into the bar even though you had cried for countless hours before being there. Hesitating in that particular place wasn't something new for you, after all, it was where your friends met every Friday night.
You just happened to be there alone and in the middle of a Wednesday. The stress of your daily life and the weight you were carrying for fulfilling the wishes of your self-centered and petty father only made your mind spin and you succumbed to an absurd urge to drop everything and run. And you ran to the bar you knew so well. But not because you needed a drink urgently – although you knew the alcohol would be consumed somehow – but because someone there was your refuge at times like these.
Park Sunghoon was the owner of the best-known and most popular bar. Because he was the epitome of beauty, kind, and polite even in a sea of people who were completely drunk and came to that place looking to dance, rub themselves, and wind up with someone. But he was also known as your best friend since university and the guy who stole your heart.
It was hard not to fall in love with Sunghoon when he treated you so well from the moment you and he shared a few classes. When he brought you a steaming cup of coffee twice a week from his grandfather's coffee shop because you'd been there once and said you liked it. How did he remember that? You wondered every time you took a sip of the drink. But Sunghoon only thought, how could he forget?
All the details surrounding you were hard to forget and he came to realize that this was part of the little feeling that was going on between the two of you, even though Sunghoon was afraid to ask you out. Not because it would ruin the friendship, he was very forward-thinking and knew that neither you nor he would be able to do that because it was something beyond what the two of you shared. But because the worlds in which you and he lived were completely different.
You were studying to improve your knowledge and take over your father's company. You wore social clothes, high heels, and the most expensive imported perfumes so that you could meet your father's clients, who would be yours in the future, while you drank expensive wine and listened to banal conversations. At the same time, Sunghoon studied to understand how the corporate world worked, and business and to be able to take over his grandfather's coffee shop. When he passed away, he left it in his name and turned it into the bar it is today. Wearing shabby clothes, torn jeans, and blouses stained with all kinds of drink and food that he had already lost count of.
The coffee shop would have been very welcome if he was still a university student looking for a part-time job just to make some extra money, but with the end of university and a life full of bills and supporting himself, a bar would make a lot more money because he was now an adult. And adults liked alcohol, loud music, and a lot of flirting.
That's what he thought when he changed everything, from the paintings on the wall to the name of the establishment. His best friends became his partners to help run the bar and that's what helped him get a bit more of a head start on sales and popularity. Because they were well-known people at the university, and with Sunghoon being part of the soccer team and the popular kids, this consequently attracted many people who studied with them to become regular customers there.
You and your friends were one of them. Although you also liked to go to see Sunghoon and his best friends who were also your friends. That's why Fridays became a casual get-together for your group of friends.
But it wasn't today and that made you a little more apprehensive and tearful because it was the first time you'd been to the bar alone. You didn't go in with a friend or one of the boys waiting at the door to take you to the table they'd booked for the night.
Your steps were dragged and nervous as you passed people, bodies sweaty and dancing. Loud conversations as you heard someone cursing a soccer team from last night, another group of friends talking about kissing someone at the next table. You focused on every corner even though you didn't want to focus on anything and just went to the bar, lucky if any of the boys were there.
As soon as you finally got close, a few more steps and you'd be near the counter, but not before stopping and taking a look. Quickly sniffling to try to keep away the tears that were still collecting in your eyes because you didn't want any of your friends to see you cry. If you were lucky, the light in the bar would be so dark that it would camouflage your true face and you could make up an excuse and say that you just stopped by to say hello because you were nearby.
Your hands were hesitant as soon as you touched the counter in the empty space when a couple walked away after picking up their drinks and heading for the dance floor.
"Hello, welcome. What can I do—" Jay was one of Sunghoon's best friends and very much your friend too, not least because he was your best friend's boyfriend "Y/n?" his eyebrows arched in surprise and a small smile appeared on his lips as soon as he saw you.
"Hi, Jay" you tried your best not to sound shaky, although you knew that the volume of the music would mask your true feelings.
"What are you doing here?" he looked at you and then around "Is Stella or the girls with you?"
"No, no. I came alone" you pulled up a stool to sit down, your hands resting on the marble of the counter and your eyes darting to the numerous bottles behind Jay before you focused your gaze on him.
"Did you come for a drink?" he followed your gaze as you turned away momentarily, noticing that you were staring at the whisky bottles. After turning back to you, Jay sighed when you nodded slightly "On a Wednesday?"
"Are you monitoring me, Jongseong?"
"Ugh, I hate it when you all call me that, you sound like you're mad" he snapped and walked over to the side of the whisky bottles. Pulling out a bottle and a shot glass, Jay slid it in front of him and filled some of the contents.
Your eyes flicked to the label, slowly reading Hennessy. The brand was known to you, it was one of the whiskies your father used to drink. Feeling the burning sensation he supposedly felt every time he drank made you shiver, not from the alcohol itself, but from thinking about your father at that moment.
"Thank you" you said to Jay as soon as he held out the glass to you. A small smile captured his lips as you turned the glass over in one go.
"For God's sake, Y/n, take it easy" he warned "If you're having a bad day, this will only get worse."
"One more, please" you tried to ignore his caution. Jay just rolled his eyes and took the empty glass from your hand, filling it much less than the first shot.
Then the second, third, and fourth he didn't even want to say much. Although he had already put a glass of water in with the glass of whisky he had poured for you. Jay's silent request is for you to have at least a little more water next time.
You could protest and grumble at how overprotective he was, remembering how he was with Stella in the first place. Then with you and your other friends because, according to Jay, anyone who looked after his girlfriend also deserved to be looked after. That's why he was so protective and nice to you.
But this overprotection was nothing compared to Sunghoon's with you, and for a second your mind switched off from the fact that he could be there and would show up at any moment. You just didn't realize that it would be abruptly, knocking the glass out of your hand and slamming it against the counter.
"You've had too much to drink" didn't take a genius or being drunk enough to register Sunghoon's voice entering your ears. You only refused to turn towards him, but you felt the boy's presence right behind you.
"I think I'm a customer here today, so Jay, please" you ignored the fact that the glass was next to Sunghoon's hand and pulled it out to hand it to Jay.
You couldn't register his expression when he saw you pick up the glass, because your body was turned just in time along with the stool you were sitting on. Facing Sunghoon, who lowered himself to the level of your face.
"You're going home, right? I'll drive you" he said.
"Nope" you muttered back.
"We're not having this conversation here, Y/n."
"And nowhere else" your pout almost made him give in and lean forward to kiss you, but Sunghoon held back, his hands squeezing the upholstery of the seat you were sitting on and slowly rubbing the side of his thumbs against your leg.
He opened his mouth to say more, to force you out of there, or to make fun of the fact that he had been watching you for a while as you drank and talked to Jay while he served other people at the bar. He wanted to tell you more, to say that his heart was racing with worry because you were never one to drink like that and it was strange to see you so resistant. But all his words fell flat when Sunghoon looked deep into your eyes and saw you crumble.
You let the tears fall freely down your cheeks and the urge to sniffle and sob that you'd been holding in all night now surfaced when he wrapped his arms around you to hold you against his chest.
"Jay, you can take over here, right?" he asked.
"Sure, go ahead, mate" Jay said "Call me if you need anything, me and the boys will lock up here and run to you two."
You could imagine the sad smile Jay was giving Sunghoon to try and comfort him as he lifted you off the bar stool and walked with you through all those drunk people until he left. Still holding you against him for fear that someone might touch you or that you might disappear from his sight, Sunghoon didn't want anything to happen to you.
"Did you come by car?" he asked when the two of you arrived outside. The icy wind didn't even tickle your body because you were so immersed in Sunghoon's arms that you couldn't feel anything.
Pointing in the direction of the parking lot, he pulled you along with him until he was able to locate your car without too much effort.
"I need your keys" he asked, releasing your arms to turn towards you and look at you straight on.
Noticing every little feature of you since you'd arrived at the bar. The office clothes hugged your curves, and every piece of clothing looked great on you. The combinations of turquoise and gray further enhanced your beauty and every feature that Sunghoon had fallen in love with.
"No purse?"
"In the car" you said in a tearful voice, reaching for the keys in the back pocket of the pants you were wearing to hand them to him.
Sunghoon took them and unlocked the alarm for you both to get in, holding the passenger door for you until you sat down and he could close the door. Running to the driver's side and getting in too.
If it had been any other time, that silence between the two of you would have been comfortable and just what you needed amid so much confusion in your week. But it was killing you because you knew that Sunghoon looked furious. Maybe at you, you didn't know for sure, but you shrugged when you felt the tears still falling down your cheeks.
"I'm sorry" you whispered as quietly as you could, breaking the silence inside the car, which was still at a complete standstill.
The only sound coming from Sunghoon's lips were the interspersed sighs he gave, running his hands over his face and then through his hair countless times. Well, your apology shouldn't be accepted, after all, because on another occasion he would say that you didn't need to apologize. That it wasn't your fault or anything to comfort you. But Sunghoon wasn't saying anything and that made you cry even more.
You turned your face towards him to see if there was any glimmer of comfort or something you could cling to so that he wouldn't feel that way. Your eyes traveled down his figure, noticing the contrast in clothing the two of you were wearing. Sunghoon was wearing a beige shirt with a huge stain near the sleeve, probably a drink that some customer had knocked over or that he or the boys had made at the bar. There was a small tear in the collar and it was halfway down his hip. Sunghoon's torn and worn jeans gave the outfit a total charm and it made you smile through your tears because it was so characteristic of him.
"Sunghoon…" you decided to call him after you didn't get an answer from him, earning you his gaze straight away.
Sunghoon's brow furrowed at the sight of you crying next to him and his heart squeezed even tighter because he didn't know how to act in the face of so much worry and nervousness. He had seen you cry many times before, but what had gotten into him to act like that? Why was he being so rude when all you had done was go to his bar to drink and cry? Something was happening and he needed to act, but he wasn't thinking straight.
So he didn't think much of it either when he turned and raised his hands to hold your face, bringing your face close to his and leaning his forehead against yours. That act in itself was something between you and him beyond intimacy. Something the two of you shared, in a mute attempt to convey the will to go further. To break through that barrier to touch lips and kiss. But neither you nor Sunghoon had ever done that.
His thumbs brushed against your cheek, the delicate touch contrasting with the roughness of Sunghoon's skin against yours. His breath hitched against your trembling lips and you almost asked him to go further, but you held back.
"Are you going to work tomorrow?" he asked suddenly, in a whisper. His thumbs were still caressing your cheeks and you let out a shaky sigh at the question.
"I don't want to set foot in that place any time soon" you said.
Opening your eyes to find Sunghoon's gaze already on you, your heart nearly leaped out of your chest when he looked directly at your lips. But just as quickly as he did this, he managed to look away and back at you properly.
"So I'm spending the night in your apartment" he kissed your forehead, lingering his lips against your skin before pulling away and straightening up in the driver's seat "You need to tell me why you showed up here at the bar on a Wednesday, crying."
"And you'll need to tell me why you fought with me today" you pouted, hearing him laugh for the first time since you met that night.
Sunghoon agreed, starting the car's engine to get out of there and head straight to his apartment.
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Staying up late talking about what had caused all this was the right thing to do, even if your body was begging for some sleep after a long hot bath. You remember telling Sunghoon that it was trouble with your father, as usual. The way the man wanted to control your life in the worst possible way, not content with having decided your future, he wanted to decide anything else that involved you.
But the subject was cut off there, you didn't want to tell your best friend that the real reason you were crying wasn't even your father's control over your life and his idiotic hunches, but that in a few weeks, you wouldn't be here anymore. You would no longer live in this country and, worst of all, you would no longer see Sunghoon. That was better left unsaid as you fell asleep in his arms, preventing him from leaving your bed after hearing all your wails, promising that you wouldn't cry about it anymore.
Even though it was hard to think that you would no longer be close to him. That, in all this time, you hadn't even managed to declare yourself or hear a statement from him. So now being in another country, with unrequited love – or so you both thought – couldn't be worse.
Either that or the little hangover that took over your body as soon as dawn broke and you opened your eyes. The slight difficulty in keeping them open when you groped around and didn't feel Sunghoon's warm body anywhere. Had he already left, then? Or had he decided to sleep in the guest room in the middle of the night? This last option is ruled out because you remember turning over a few times in the early hours of the morning or stirring in your sleep and feeling his arms around you. It was one of the times he slept in the same bed as you, doing so only when your friends went to sleep in your apartment and used the other two spare bedrooms. This was done more often than you thought, but it wasn't so important to think about it now.
Sitting up in bed after much pondering, you felt your head spin a little and your eyes finally open. Contemplating the moment when you should have been at your father's company – which would soon be yours – but here you were, in your apartment after a wave of hangover hit on a Thursday morning. It wasn't that bad, you remember doing it a few times while you were at college. The only difference was that the place would be full of university students, your friends who were supposed to meet up at the bar on Friday. But one of them was certainly there in your apartment at that moment, and you realized it as soon as you got out of bed to walk out of the room.
The smell of food invaded your nostrils as you walked down the corridor to the top of the stairs. Noises of cutlery and frying and an undeniable smell of coffee pulled you further and further into the kitchen of your apartment. Sunghoon was unbelievable and you knew he would do anything to see you well. You just didn't know that he would prepare an entire breakfast when the scene in front of you said so.
"Good morning" he smiled at you when he saw you leaning against the doorframe, sleepy and even more beautiful than he remembered.
Your smile soon followed and you almost fell back when your eyes finally caught up with him. He had slept without his shirt on, but seeing him like that right in front of you was too much. Sunghoon was wearing sweatpants belonging to Jake, who always left his or Jay's clothes at your apartment every time he went there with you, Stella, and his girlfriend. Sunghoon also had a few pieces here and there, but Jake's pants were the first he'd found the night before, so putting them on quickly to wrap you in a hug was the only thing he could think of at the moment.
"Good morning" you decided, pushing aside any thoughts and smiling at him, approaching in slow steps the slender, gorgeous guy who was preparing a mug of coffee "Is that for me?"
He hummed excitedly, putting a few things into the mug before turning and handing it to you.
"I found some things in your cupboard and I think I may have managed to replicate my grandfather's coffee, the one we had at university."
"Don't play games with me" you pouted as you picked up the mug "Are you serious?"
He leaned down to touch his lips to the top of your head, sniffing your hair and smelling the shampoo on your strands.
"You tell me" Sunghoon moved away to finish making the pancakes and arrange the bacon and eggs on the table on the other side of the counter, where he turned around and walked away from you.
Your eyes captured the whole moment as he took a long sip of coffee. It was just like his grandfather's, perhaps with a little more cinnamon and a hint of vanilla that you felt as the liquid went down your throat. It might have been Sunghoon's style, but the essence was completely his grandfather's from what you remembered from university. Smiling at this, you watched him set up the whole breakfast game while humming some tune you couldn't identify because your brain was focusing on his every move. The muscles flexed as he bent over to arrange the plates, or how his brow furrowed as he balanced the juice container on the table.
You didn't want to feel your heart squeeze at that scene because Sunghoon had already done it a few times. For both you and your friends, it was normal to see him excited about making breakfast or being so domestic. But it wasn't normal for you to feel like you might explode, that you needed to tell him that in a few weeks, you'd both be far enough apart that he'd – maybe – even forget about you.
"Hey, Y/n" his voice was desperate and snapped you out of your thoughts when you noticed him running away from where you were to come towards you. You only realized you were crying when he took the mug from your hand and ran his fingers down your cheek, collecting your freshly fallen tears "What happened? Did I do something wrong or…?"
"No, you didn't do anything wrong" you sobbed quietly, your hands encircling his fists as Sunghoon held your face between them.
"So what happened?" he asked. "Is there something else bothering you?"
Yes. I'm practically moving out and we won't see each other for who knows how long. You choked on that thought as you looked into his eyes, the concern evident and the glint that adorned the dark orbs that you admired so much.
Your thoughts were consuming you as Sunghoon leaned towards you, trying to listen or hoping that words would come out of your mouth so that he could understand what was happening to you. In his mind, something at breakfast or the night before was completely wrong.
He may have overstepped the mark when he held you while you slept, keeping you close to his body the whole time. Or that he went through your kitchen and prepared a huge breakfast on a weekday when you were supposed to be in your office and you were here with him. But that didn't make sense and he just wanted to think that you were vulnerable from having bad times with your father and the weight on your back from trying to please him at all costs.
Sunghoon understood how burdened you were by this how much you disliked what you had and how your relationship with your father was, he understood from the moment you two met. That's what made you fall in love with him because he always understood you. And he fell in love with you because he saw you beyond any designer clothes you wore or jewelry your father gave you to put around your neck. He saw your eyes, your smile, he saw you for real.
And he was seeing it now, in front of him in your kitchen, and as your tears slowly dried until you stopped crying. Sunghoon thought about asking you again what had happened or if you wanted him to leave so you could be alone, but it was his turn to have his mind flooded with nothing but you when he felt your lips on his.
Suddenly, without any pretext, you simply leaned forward and kissed him.
Sunghoon's hands ran to your waist and pulled you against his body, afraid that this was his mind betraying him, or that he was daydreaming about your lips against his. But as soon as you whimpered softly to ask for permission to kiss him, he knew he wasn't dreaming.
Tongues soon intertwined and the taste of coffee in your mouth quickly passed into his mouth, making Sunghoon moan softly as he pressed you between his body and the kitchen counter. It was a repressed feeling since the time you two discovered such feelings and that you held onto until the present moment. If he had known that kissing you would be like this, that your mouth would fit perfectly on his, and that you would have the sweetest breath against his lips, Sunghoon would have kissed you much sooner. He would have taken advantage of every opportunity he had around you, your mouth, or the moments when you two almost kissed by accident. He should have done all this before because it was heavenly to feel your mouth move against his.
It was all too much and the way you were making him feel, but when your nails slid to the back of his neck, sanity had long since left Sunghoon's body. He slid his hands down your thighs and supported your body to place you sitting on the kitchen counter. The icy marble on your thighs and half of your ass where the shorts couldn't cover, you moaned against his mouth and leaned your body forward with a shiver running through you. Your chest pressed against his and Sunghoon fit between your legs, as little space as possible between the two of you.
Pulling away after a long while, he rolled his eyes to your lips to notice a thin layer of saliva and the redness of your bottom lip. Swollen and all beautiful while he wasn't much different. Your chest rose and fell to normalize your breathing and he kept his hands resting on the counter beside each of your thighs.
“Y/n” he called your name, voice hoarse like a plea for you to keep him between your legs even after the kiss was over.
"Yeah?" you answered him, hands running down his chest and feeling Sunghoon's heart speed up under your fingers when your hand stopped there. Your eyes stared into his as your legs pressed against Sunghoon's ass to press him between your legs.
“Shit” he moaned as the growing erection pressed between your legs, the heat of your still-covered pussy making him shudder.
Quickly Sunghoon's hands slid down your thighs and went to the waistband of your pajama shorts, grabbing the fabric without taking it out of place. You tightened your legs around his waist again and at that moment you saw him gain courage and roll your hips against his. Sunghoon’s dick was rock hard and you couldn’t hold back your moan as the perfect movement made the head of his dick press against your swollen clit. The wonderful friction of dry fucking as he alternated his hips between rolling and going back and forth, only to be able to draw moans from your lips each time his dick got the perfect pressure on your pussy.
“Sunghoon” you moaned his name, hands moving down from his chest to his stomach slowly. The nail scratched all the way down forming a red trail against the white skin in front of you. You stopped with your fingers on the waistband of the pants he was wearing, swallowing hard when his hand on the waistband of your shorts went down.
"Yes, my love?" he whispered. So deep making your pussy clench around nothing, and it was pathetic how you felt like this while he had barely touched you.
“Can you—” your voice hitched, your eyes closed quickly when Sunghoon's fingers entered your shorts and panties, going straight to your wet clit.
His moan made you moan too, combined with the pressure of his fingertips rubbing circles on your muscles in need of attention. It felt so good not to have to ask him for much, knowing that the impulse to kiss him was making you do this kind of thing that you didn't even know would happen. Much less him.
Feeling like you had kissed him was something Sunghoon never thought would happen, especially since you were always shyer than him. All the advances and physical contact between the two of you came from him, so he thought that, if one day there was a kiss between you and him, he would definitely make the first move. But since it hadn't happened, Sunghoon was left to enjoy that moment because he knew he was giving himself as much as you.
You could no longer hold back the desire he had to have you in his arms, at his fingertips, wrapped around his dick. Sunghoon wanted to feel you.
"That is good?" he asked as he ran his fingers down your pussy lips, parting them with the obscene sound of your wetness spreading. You would be embarrassed just to hear it, but you no longer cared as his fingers worked wonders on your pussy.
“That feels wonderful” you moaned as he circled his index finger around your entrance, feeling like you had clenched around nothing. As impatient as he is.
With a movement away, you almost cried when you no longer felt Sunghoon's fingers in your pussy. Almost grabbing him back and shoving his hand where you needed him most. But everything calmed down when you saw that he was grabbing your shorts and panties, asking you to lift your hips so he could remove what was getting in the way.
Soon the pieces of clothing were on the floor and you thanked the gods for being free down there, with his hand returning to surround your clit in circular movements. Sunghoon's nimble and skilled fingers made small drawings on your pussy while his other hand went up to your face and held it. Cupped between your cheek and neck so that he kept your face close to his while the fingers in your pussy were slid to your entrance.
“Don’t hide your sounds from me, okay?” he asked as he introduced two fingers at once, watching you bite your bottom lip hard. Sunghoon smiled when you opened your eyes to look at him, nodding as you let your moans come out freely.
The stretch of your pussy felt divine to him, his fingers covered in arousal and your walls clenching so deliciously as he went deeper with slow movements. Not because he wanted to torture you, but because he was taking his time as he felt you getting wetter and wetter so he could take his cock.
Meanwhile, his hands reached down with difficulty to the waistband of the pants he wore to sleep, pushing it down just to free the head of his dick. Because you didn't have enough strength to continue the work since Sunghoon's fingers in your pussy took away any concentration you had. He chuckled softly at your snort of displeasure at not getting what he wanted to do, then he leaned in to kiss your lips.
A tender, slow, and affectionate kiss. With your tongues moving against each other romantically, silently conveying that you two loved each other, even if it was never said in the first place.
Sunghoon removed his fingers from your pussy with a pornographic pop due to the amount of juices coming out of there. He took the opportunity to lower his pants to his feet and use his fingers, wet with your essence, to wrap around the head of his dick and smear it along with the precum that came out of there. That scene could be worth any orgasm he had as you watched him slowly masturbate in front of you, with his finger full of you and his precum. This was making you so hot that you decided to take off your pajama shirt, now matching his nudity.
You pulled him by the back of his head and kissed him. Wanting to occupy your mouth or something other than focusing on his dick that was already throbbing to be inside you, soon feeling him pull you closer to the edge of the kitchen counter and feeling his dick against your thigh.
“Let me know if it’s too much, okay?” he asked gently against your lips, you sighed softly and agreed, whispering a slow “yes” to him.
As if he already knew your body, Sunghoon was precise in positioning the head of his dick in your pussy and sliding it from your clit, the soaked lips, and your entrance. Collecting even more of your juices until the head of his cock was in your hole. Slowly entering your pussy with almost stopping movements, just so that you felt comfortable each time he moved inside you to penetrate a little more.
Your nails scratched every inch of his skin that was visible and touchable to you, and he smiled, satisfied, knowing that those marks would remain on his skin for a long time. Not that it was a bother because Sunghoon would happily tell anyone who asked that it was his girl who had done it.
“Fuck” you grunted as his pelvis finally slammed against yours, his dick completely inside you. Big and throbbing, touching your spongy part in a slow movement that he made as he started to pull out and re-enter your pussy.
“Are you—” he moaned “Fuck, Y/n” Sunghoon’s lips found yours again.
Your hot pussy sucking his cock was the best feeling Sunghoon could have felt in his life. It was as if your pussy had molded itself to him in just a few seconds while he was inside you, no longer wanting to come out.
“You can move now, Hoonie” calling him that nickname always made something in Sunghoon light up, but the way you whimpered and then moaned, made Sunghoon's hips slam hard against yours.
He would even apologize for how careless he was in fucking you like that because he wanted to take it slow and take his time. He wanted to enjoy every movement, but the excitement of hearing you call him made something click in him.
Responding to your requests, Sunghoon began to move between your legs. His cock moved in and out slowly but hit you hard every time his pelvis met yours. The sound of skin slapping together, accompanied by the moans you two shared was the soundtrack of that kitchen. Sunghoon went back to cupping your face in his hands, cupping each side of your cheek to keep your face in place as he fucked your hips against his. Your legs wrapped around him pressing your thighs against his waist to press him further as he bottomed out, his cock reaching your cervix with each hard thrust until the end.
“You feel so good, love” he moaned close to your mouth, his gaze falling between your bodies to see his cock being swallowed by your pussy. The white ring of his excitement wetting his dick to his pelvis when he got close to your pussy.
The lazy smile he gave you when he looked back at you, his face fucked up and his eyes focused on his every move.
“Hoonie” you called him.
"Yes, love?" he leaned in, mouth brushing against his and hip movements never stopping as he tried to hear what you had to say.
It could be the horniness taking over you, or the need to say it because you didn't know when you would have another opportunity. And if it would have. He could run away and never see you again, but you would need to take that chance while you were being fucked by him in your kitchen.
Your hands reached for his hands on your face, sliding one of them along the prominent veins on Sunghoon's forearm. He sighed softly at the touch, smiling against your mouth.
“I'm in love with you” your voice followed by a loud moan as he slammed his hips against yours, his cock entering your pussy completely.
The action itself was a shock because he wasn't expecting it. Maybe hearing you say that he was doing great, that his cock was something amazing, or something related to the sex you two were sharing. But never something he looked forward to hearing, not when his dick was buried inside your pussy.
Sunghoon slowed down the pace of his thrusts, remaining with his hands on your face before taking your lips in a slow kiss, sucking the tip of your tongue to your lower lip.
“I've always wanted to hear that” he sighed breathlessly, one of his thumbs going down to your bottom lip and pressing there “Because I've been in love with you since we met, Y/n.”
It would be romantically beautiful if he didn't have his hair disheveled, sweaty, and plastered to his forehead. And if you weren't oozing excitement from your pussy onto the kitchen counter and his dick if your body wasn't on the verge of exploding. But no matter how you and him were, hearing that made things a little better for you.
“Then show me” you whispered “Make me cum on your cock.”
He just nodded without having the courage to contradict you or say how sexy you were commanding him like that. Because Sunghoon also wanted to cum and it wasn't much different from you.
Returning the ministrations of your hips against his and burying his cock in you, he accelerated the pace of his thrusts, and the sound of skin slapping filled the kitchen again. His cock buried itself deeper and deeper into your pussy and soaked between your thighs and his abdomen each time he went even deeper into you.
Sunghoon pressed his thumb again on your lower lip, collecting some of your saliva so he could wet his finger and go down to your clit. Spreading your saliva there to stimulate the neglected muscle as he fucked his dick inside you.
“Come for me then, love. I want to hear you moan my name” he whispered close to your ear, sliding his mouth down your neck and biting the place eagerly.
Teeth dug into your skin as he sped up his thrusts as he felt his cock pulse inside you and your pussy squeeze him against its walls. Sunghoon could scream right then and there when he felt you contract around him, moaning his name as he asked and writhing on the kitchen counter. Your nails dug into his shoulders as a way to balance himself, taking possession of the man who fucked you so good and squeezed your clit until he extracted the last drop of your cum.
“I want you to cum inside me” you whispered close to his ear, taking advantage of the fact that Sunghoon’s lips were still on your neck “Please, Hoonie.”
You could be a huge motherfucker and he had never seen that side of you until now. But it also wasn't complaining that you were like that with him, on the contrary. It was great to see this side of you from the angle and position he was in.
Sunghoon gave a few more thrusts into your convulsing and overstimulated pussy, going deep with his dick until jets of cum painted each of your walls white, feeling the heat take over your pussy as he slid his dick inside you. Pulsating and incredibly skilled, pushing harder and harder until he stopped cumming inside you.
He was stunned and panting, teeth sliding across your skin and a hickey left in place before he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours. Still keeping his cock inside you to have the heat of your pussy envelop him a little more.
“You…” he started saying, clearing his throat when he felt it dry. You knew what he was going to say, trying not to show any sadness and just focusing on the moment he was having. “You really meant that, didn’t you?”
“About being in love with you?” you asked, seeing him agree with a shy nod. As if he didn’t still have his dick inside you and had fucked you just a few minutes ago “Of course I do.”
“Good” Sunghoon smiled at you, kissing your lips to get out of your pussy and prevent you both from moaning loudly at the feeling of each other’s emptiness “Now let’s clean ourselves up, shall we?”
It was your turn to agree, accepting his help to get off the counter and go to your room.
You didn’t want to say anything to him about not seeing each other anymore or about how you were leaving. Many possibilities were running around your mind and you thought of something that might work. But none of them were involved in facing Sunghoon face to face after today.
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"A letter? Who would send that nowadays?” Sunghoon laughed as he took the envelope from Jay's hand, rolling his eyes and pulling out a chair to sit down.
It was close to lunch and the bar wasn't even close to opening, but he and his best friends always went at that time to have lunch together and clean the bar before the night was full of the customers they always used to come to.
It was Friday and he was excited because he knew he would spend time with his friends and, more than that, he would spend his time with you. He would finally have you with him after telling you he was in love with you and hearing that you were in love with him back. Sunghoon could have sworn this was all a dream because less than two days ago he heard it, waiting for a long time since college.
But if all the waiting was made up for with the sex you two had in the kitchen, then continued in the bedroom and ended up in the bathroom of your apartment, he would be completely happy with having waited so long.
“Open it already, dude” Jay whined “Or I’ll do it and read it out loud.”
Sunghoon denied all of Jay's theatrics and rolled his eyes, opening the envelope that had no sender, only the recipient. He sighed as he unfolded the paper inside.
“It’s a letter from Y/n” he smiled at the paper when he recognized your handwriting.
Jay also smiled, remembering the day before when he received Sunghoon's call after he left your house. Telling everything that had happened, maybe omitting some details so it wouldn't be so embarrassing for Jay, but he still wanted to tell about the small statement. About how he saw the sparkle in his eyes when he heard that you were in love with him and how you shivered in his arms when he heard that it was reciprocal.
But also, how could it not? Sunghoon would be crazy if he wasn't in love with you back. He would call himself every name possible for not realizing how amazing you were and how passionate you were too.
As he read that letter, the smile disappeared and Jay did the same, not understanding why Sunghoon seemed so apprehensive reading something you had sent him. Not after the time the two of you shared.
“Hey, dude” Jay called him, but all Sunghoon did was crumple up that paper and throw it on the table.
Leaving without saying a single word he rolled up the bar door and disappeared from there.
“What happened to him?” Heeseung appeared next, startled by the noise the door made as soon as Sunghoon left.
Jay was just as confused as he was, not wanting to invade his friend's privacy, but he was worried and knew that Sunghoon or Heeseung would do the same for him if they saw him like that. So the boy did the most sensible thing, which was to crumple the paper to read the letter you had written to Sunghoon.
His eyes widened with each word before reading specific things you had written, one of them being the reason why Sunghoon had left there like that.
Maybe it was our last moment together because, in a few weeks, I'm moving to Switzerland. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just… I was scared.
Jay put the pieces together little by little. So that was the reason that made you go to the bar crying on Wednesday, you were moving to Switzerland. And you would lose Sunghoon one way or another because you certainly had your father's hand in this decision, which certainly wasn't his.
Now all that was left was to know what the boy would do with this information, because the way Sunghoon left that bar, he hadn't taken the news very well.
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