#[edit: fixed a few minor issues] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

casuallyimagining · 11 months

Text

When September Ends // part one.

Min Yoongi x female reader

Summary: Six years after leaving your home planet, you’re forced to confront your past… and the one you left behind. Word Count: 4,128 Genre: Star Wars au, friends to enemies to lovers, angst Warnings: minor character death, survivor's guilt, yoongi has anger issues, mentions of the death of an entire planet, anxiety, alcohol, reader character suffers from the burden of high expectations, mentions of torture (nothing explicit), mentions of needles, hospitalization, brief descriptions of scarring, brief descriptions of panic, hospitalization, an assassination attempt, a gun fight, murder

Notes: Thanks to @daechwitatamic and @the-boy-meets-evil for listening to me complain about this fic, helping me plan, and beta-ing for me; to @oddinary4bts for the late-game encouragement and edits.

Playlist: All of the poetry in this fic has been pulled from various songs and poems. You can find all the songs (and some others) in the playlist that I made for this fic on Spotify.

previous | masterlist | next

Fuck this planet, Yoongi thinks as he stalks his way through the corridors. It’s freezing. It’s always fucking freezing. Granted, it’s an ice planet, but he preferred the last base on the tropical forest moon, thank you very much. Sure, it had been so humid that his hair curled at the ends most days, but at least there, he could feel his toes.

Two junior pilots jump out of the way as he rounds the corner. He doesn’t blame them. He’s probably wearing quite the scowl, and the heavy steps of his boots against the steel flooring leave an angry echo reverberating through the mostly empty halls. For a moment, he considers apologizing–the junior pilots haven’t done anything, and he knows he should at least try to fit himself back in here. But then he’s standing in front of the door to his destination, and the apology dies before it even has the chance to form.

The doors hiss open mechanically, and the council room is already full. Yoongi picks his way through the crowd, eyes on the only empty seat in the room. Someone greets him, and he offers a quick nod in recognition but says nothing else. Suddenly, inexplicably, he’s nervous. This meeting was supposed to be with some of the higher ups–Yoongi expected some majors, a few captains, maybe a colonel. But some of the council is here, and he recognizes at least one general by the five pips on the man’s breastplate.

Someone clears their throat just as Yoongi sits down, and it only takes a moment for the room to fall eerily quiet. He can feel every pair of eyes focusing on him, and Yoongi would love nothing more than to pull the hood of his puffy coat up over his head and hide away. He’s never been one for attention, but he does his best to appear nonchalant, like he doesn’t want the frozen ground to open up and swallow him whole. (He might not mind if it did.)

“Thank you for coming, Captain Min,” one of the commanders says.

Didn’t really have a choice, Yoongi thinks. But it’s not like I had anything better to do.

“We’ve received your official request to return to duty,” the commander–Commander Vela, Yoongi notes, though he’s only seen the man a small handful of times. “All six of them. Given the circumstances, we wanted to give you the opportunity to discuss this in person.”

What is there to discuss? Yoongi wants back in. He’s bored, itching to get back out in the field. He’s exhausted, he’s not sleeping, but that’s nothing a little adrenaline can’t fix. If he stays here, sitting around, doing nothing, he’s going to go fucking insane. And truthfully, not doing anything feels like he’s letting the Empire win, like Kitt and Feeney and Jieun’s deaths meant nothing.

And he won’t let that happen.

But instead of saying all that, he says simply, “You need spies. I’m a spy. I don’t see where the issue is.”

Commander Vela hums, his attention falling to the data pad sitting on the table in front of him. “You’ve been through a lot, captain. Most men would, understandably, need to take time off to-”

“I don’t want time off.” Yoongi can tell his interruption isn’t taken well based on the grumbles that ripple through the room. But he can’t help it. If they would just listen to him, he could convince them that he was fine. Or, at least, that he would be fine if he could just get his life back to normal. “I’ve had time off. I want to get back out there. You need me back out there.”

It sounds cockier than he’d intended, but the sentiment is true. They’d just lost three of their best intelligence operatives. Yoongi knows they can’t afford to lose another.

“How can we guarantee you’ll perform to standard?” A Mon Calamari major pipes up from the corner, his gravelly, grumbly voice cutting through the rabble that Yoongi’s words have caused. “How do you know you’re ready?”

The question catches Yoongi off-guard. “I just do,” he answers, and though it feels like a feeble, desperate answer, his voice comes out cool and confident.

More of the committee speaks up. Yoongi can feel his blood pressure rise as the questions come, both more probing and more asinine. How is he feeling? How is he processing? Is he still up to date on his marksmanship training (even though his marksmanship training was basically just here’s a blaster, go shoot stuff)?

He’s fine. He’s processing well. Why don’t you give him a blaster and stand at twenty paces, and you can check yourself if his training is up-to-date?

Yoongi feels like he’s being interrogated. Do they treat their Imperial prisoners like this? He can feel the heat on his skin, can feel the thrumming in his veins. He takes a deep breath to calm himself, forces himself to unclench his jaw. He can’t let them see how much the questioning has affected him, even if the effect is just to piss him off. If they think he’s anything less than perfectly collected, they’ll never let him back in the field.

A dark-skinned commander is halfway through a long-winded question about security protocols, and safety, and something else that Yoongi has lost track of when a voice rings out above the din of the room.

“This is ridiculous,” it says, and it takes Yoongi a moment to find the speaker.

His heart rate picks up, and he can feel his palms get clammy as he zeroes in on her. There, three seats to the left of Commander Vela. He’d know that voice anywhere. And when her eyes lock with his, the room stops, the rest of higher command doesn’t matter.

It’s you.

“Clearly he wants to come back,” you say, leaning forward out of the shadows. You observe him casually, almost bored. “We’re clearly in need, otherwise we wouldn’t be entertaining the idea. Just let him come back. Assign an in-field eval.”

Commander Vela hums, twirling the end of his mustache in his forefingers. From the corner, the Mon Calamari major grumbles his agreement. Some other members of the committee voice their displeasure with what you’ve said, but Yoongi watches as you simply turn your head to look at Vela, a small, seemingly innocuous smile on your lips. But Yoongi knows what it means. He’s seen it hundreds of times.

Gotcha.

The Commander clears his throat and nods in your direction. “An interesting compromise, major,” he says, and Yoongi doesn’t miss the hint of pride in the officer’s voice. “Very well. Captain Min will accompany you on your upcoming mission. With the two of you together, we should expect first-rate results.”

The world freezes. Yoongi’s heart stops. And then just as suddenly, it starts again, the thrumming going into overdrive. He is dismissed in slow-motion, and his body moves without his brain’s acknowledgement. Suddenly, he’s standing, and in a small handful of steps, he’s outside of the council room.

It’s much quieter out here. The hum of the electricity running through the walls, the howl of the freezing wind outside, the far-off cacophony of the rebellion’s finest doing what they can to stay prepared for a moment-notice fight. It all comes together, washes over Yoongi. It’s chaotic, but it’s also strangely comforting. The cold seeping through the walls, though still bitter and absolutely intolerable, cools his temperature and his temper easily.

Yoongi takes a deep, slow breath through his nose. A mission. With you. Upon which his future hangs precariously on the condition of success. Truthfully, he’s not sure how to feel. He’s excited. He’s nervous. He’s hopeful. But somewhere within him, there’s something bubbling, something angry, something that he doesn’t want to confront right now. So he pushes it down and vows to himself.

He will be back in the field. This mission will go well.

It has to.

The mess hall is crowded and loud, and Yoongi hates crowded and loud. But he manages to find a table in a corner, blocked by a wall, that isn’t quite so noisy. It’s been months, but people still avoid him. And he gets it. People don’t know how to talk to him anymore, and it’s not like he’s ever been the easiest guy in the world to converse with. He’s always found small talk difficult, always preferred to listen rather than speak. All of the friends he’s ever made have been more a reflection of their stubbornness rather than a result of his ability and desire to be outgoing. So despite the fact that the mess is practically full, Yoongi’s table in the corner remains single occupancy.

That is, until you appear in front of him.

You stand there, holding a tray in one hand and a cup of caf in the other, your datapad tucked between your elbow and your body. “Mind if I sit?” you ask. It’s soft. He can barely hear it over the din of the room.

For a moment, he stares at you, expression flat. You offer him a small smile. It’s a lifeline, he realizes, a peace offering. But something roils inside of him, something angry, and he’s not sure why. Maybe it’s the slight air of apology he can see in your eyes. You have a look that says you’d like nothing more than to talk. Something in Yoongi wants that, too. But a larger part is six years deep into thinking his best friend is dead. And that part is pissed.

“I thought we could go over mission details,” you tell him, awkwardly shuffling so he can better see your datapad. As if keeping things strictly business might help bridge the gap. “I don’t know how you’re used to doing things–if you’d come find me or if-”

“I haven’t been able to find you for six years. I stopped trying a long time ago.” It comes out venomous, almost like an accusation.

He watches as your smile falters, can see in your eyes the exact moment it transitions from genuine to practiced. You cough, and nod once, very quickly.

“Okay. Just meet me in the hangar tomorrow at oh-nine-hundred.”

Yoongi watches in silence as you turn on your heel. He follows you with his eyes, watching as you power-walk to the mess exit, dumping your tray and your caf in a trashcan on the way out. The angry part of him quiets, and suddenly, he’s no longer hungry.

The klaxon is shrill in the once-calm cockpit. Outside the windshield, TIE fighters shriek past, their guns targeting the small transport ship. In the belly of the vessel, Yoongi can hear banging and shouting. For a moment, he considers going to help Feeney and Jieun prepare the escape pods. But then Kitt swears from the cockpit, and another alarm sounds, and Yoongi is rooted to the spot.

He watches the displays, unable to look away as the shields deplete steadily. Those Imperial fucks can’t hit the broad side of a star destroyer, and yet today, of all days, they’ve managed to nearly deplete the ship’s shields.

“This is Tatooine one-two-five-niner-oh-five requesting immediate ceasefire,” Kitt says into the ship’s comms. Yoongi can hear the desperation in her voice. “Please. We’re just a haulcraft.”

The comms crackles, but no reply comes. Kitt swears again. Kitt never swears unless things are really bad. The displays start to beep urgently, and Yoongi’s eyes are drawn to a flashing indicator on the wall to his left. Ten percent shields left.

Things are really bad.

“I can man one of the guns,” Yoongi offers, following Kitt out of the cockpit and down the ladder into the belly of the craft. He skips the last few rungs, jumping off when he’s still a foot from the ground. “Buy us some time.”

“No.” Kitt pats his shoulder and offers him a small smile. The scar on her upper lip pulls taught, and her smile looks almost broken in half. In her eyes, there’s a small fire. She’s determined to see this through.

The look scares Yoongi.

“You go. Get in a pod.” She pushes Yoongi in the direction of one of the escape pods that Jieun and Feeney have readied. Kitt turns to Feeney and presses a small metal rectangle into his chest. “Take this,” she tells him. “Get out of here. We’ll be right behind you.”

For a moment, Feeney looks like he wants to protest. But then he shuts his mouth and nods. The ship can only launch two pods at a time. “Come on,” he says, clapping Yoongi on the shoulder. “You heard her.”

Yoongi doesn’t know what happens next. He can’t remember getting into the escape pod, doesn’t know how he managed to hit the ready to launch button on the internal console. He’s really not even sure if he turned on the encoded tracker.

All he remembers is the pounding of his heart in his ears and the feeling of weightlessness as the pod decouples from the ship and the zero gravity of space takes hold. He remembers his pod floating away from the main ship, remembers watching in horror as a third pod attempts to deploy and the grappling arm sticking without letting go. He remembers seeing movement in the cockpit of the haulcraft, a blinding light, his pod rocking through space with the force of an explosion.

Yoongi jolts, and for a moment, he’s disoriented. Everything is spinning. He can still see the debris field, but slowly, it morphs into his quarters in the base on Hoth. It’s the chill that brings him back. The cold air on his exposed skin forces his mind back to now. He’s not even laying down–his back is against the metal wall, he’d fallen asleep with one leg tucked up against his chest. His pillow is at the other end of the cot entirely.

Yoongi sighs, his heart still hammering in his chest. His head falls backwards against the cool of the metal, and he forces himself to breathe deeply.

That was months ago, he tells himself. Pull yourself together, idiot.

It feels like an eternity later, but eventually, his heartbeat slows, his breathing evens out, the adrenaline leaves his system. He’s exhausted–this is the fourth time this week the dream has plagued his sleep–but he doesn’t dare lie down. Instead, he gropes around his cot until his hand brushes against the screen of his datapad. He turns it on, and the cool blue of the letters on screen strain his eyes.

My friends, my friends forgive me That I live and you are gone There's a grief that can't be spoken There's a pain goes on and on

He’d been working on a poem when he’d fallen asleep. It was a habit he’d picked up from Kitt. Poetry and music, she’d told him once, were things the Empire could never take from you. They have their roots in your soul and bloom in your mind. As long as there are people, there will be poetry and music.

It’s only half true, Yoongi thinks bitterly, picking up his stylus and tapping into the document to edit it. He has poetry, but he’s lost the people he cared about most.

“If we do not leave in 20 minutes, our chances of success go down to-”

“Please stop talking,” you tell the droid, TK-53. You’re sitting on a crate just outside of your ship, waiting for Yoongi.

Tee’s right, though. Yoongi’s over half an hour late, and if you’re not gone in 20 minutes, you won’t make it to Bespin in time. There’s a small window that you have to hit, just a short span of time where the Tibanna refineries’ contracts are up before they restart. You have to be there in that window, otherwise, you may as well give up. Major Kim would be stuck on the planet for another year.

Though, you suppose even if Yoongi turned up in the next ten seconds, you aren’t sure how successful the mission will be.

“Tee, check the med bay. Perhaps he fell ill.”

The droid hums, and you can hear the whirring of her joints as she moves over to a panel in the wall. But before Tee can even access the panel, there’s a cough behind you. When you turn, Yoongi is standing there, a rucksack slung over his shoulder. It’s a small comfort that he looks like shit. His hair is a mess, and he looks exhausted. But when he wordlessly pushes his bag into Tee’s arms, you can feel yourself get angry.

“You’re late,” you say flatly, grabbing the bag from your droid.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Right.” You roll your eyes and motion for him to walk up the ramp into the ship. You shove his bag back to him as he passes you. Tee clanks in after him–a solid foot and a half taller, she has to duck to make it in the ship without bumping her head.

As soon as you’re inside, the ramp starts to ascend into the hull of the ship. It’s small inside. The cockpit is the biggest part of the ship, but there’s a small cabin with hideaway beds and a galley. For a moment, it’s quiet.

“Do you usually not care about your missions, or should I consider myself lucky?”

“What?” Yoongi’s brow furrows. He’s made himself comfortable in one of the jump seats in the cockpit.

“Can you at least pretend to give a shit about this mission?” You plop into the co-pilot’s chair. Tee has already started going through the pre-flight procedures. “I mean, honestly Yoongi. Did you act like this for your last commander? Because I wouldn’t-”

“Don’t talk about her.” His voice is deep, angry, and for the briefest of moments, you can see the hurt in his eyes. “Get pissed at me all you want, but keep her name out of your fucking mouth.”

Quickly, you pivot. “We had things to do this morning, Yoongi. Preparations. We needed to get papers made. Now we don’t have those. I didn’t tell you a specific time because I thought it would be fun.”

You barely register Tee speaking into the comms, asking for clearance to launch.

“I said I’m sorry, okay? You think I wanted to be late?”

“I don’t know!” You admit, exasperated. You turn in your seat and press the last few buttons in the launch sequence, and the ship rumbles to life under you. A slight jolt, and it’s up in the air. “I don’t know what you want anymore,” you mumble.

Behind you, Yoongi grumbles something, but you don’t pay attention to it. Your focus is on the console in front of you and getting the ship into hyperspace. It takes a few minutes of tense silence for you to get out of Hoth’s atmosphere and into the hyperspace lane. But as soon as the ship leans into the speed and the stars are speeding past the cockpit windows in a cluster of bright lines, you let yourself change focus.

You turn in your seat only to see that the jump seat is empty–Yoongi is gone. You can see him in the cabin, leaning against one of the bunks. Taking a deep breath, you let it out in a heavy sigh.

It’s hard seeing him like this. The Yoongi you remember was quiet, but kind and gentle. So gentle that you’d had to stand up to bullies for him when you were children. There was a time when you’d tell each other everything. There had been plenty of nights when you’d sat on the roof of your building side by side, staring at the stars and dreaming of something better.

But a lot has happened in six years. You don’t blame him for the animosity, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

Once again, you sigh. But then you force yourself to stand and step into the cabin. It’s quiet for a while. Yoongi doesn’t look at you as you make your way over to the galley and slide into one of the benches. Eventually, you get sick of the silence, sick of only hearing the hum of the hyperdrive all around you.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” you say quietly. “Why don’t we get the mission talk out of the way, hm? Start with that.” Then, maybe, you can get him calmer, less hostile.

He’s quiet, and you risk a glance over at him. His eyes are on the metal flooring as he chews on the inside of his cheek–a habit he’s had since he was a kid. But after a second, he pushes himself off the wall and stiffly moves to the seat across from you. Good. Progress. Progress is good.

You push your datapad across the small table so he can see the information. “We’re going to Bespin,” you explain. “To the Tibanna refineries in Cloud City. Major Kim Namjoon has been undercover there for almost a year.”

It doesn’t take long to describe the scope of the mission. Get in, get out, simple extraction. No combat anticipated, mostly just the two of you talking your way into getting Major Kim off-planet. On paper, it’s easy. In practice, you’re sure it’ll be more difficult. But there’s no way to know how things are going to go until you’re in the moment.

It doesn’t take long to explain. Yoongi has a few questions, and you’re happy to answer him. They’re simple, informative, and you get the sense that he’s testing the waters a bit. It’s a little tense, but it’s the most comfortable conversation you’ve had with him so far.

When you’re done, he continues to look at your datapad, dark eyes scanning the mission log. He doesn’t look up when he speaks. “Where’d you go?”

You frown. You should have expected it, but the question still catches you off-guard. You know what he’s asking, know what he’s looking for, but fuck, you wish you didn’t.

“Here and there for a few weeks,” you finally answer, playing with your fingers. “And then finally here, to the rebellion.”

He nods, and for a moment, you think he’s satisfied. But then, “Why’d you leave?”

“You know why.”

“Humor me.”

You sigh. You could walk away right now, not answer him and go back to the cockpit. You could hide behind duty and professionalism and rank. But something about you hates that idea. Yoongi was your best friend from ages six through 22. He deserves more than to be iced out. But god, did you really want to get into that blackhole now?

Finally, you settle on, “I was smothering on Fest. I had to get out.”

“You didn’t tell me.” He looks up, then, and even though his deep brown eyes don’t meet yours, you can see the hurt in them. Six years of it. And it crushes you. “You were my best friend. And you didn’t tell me you were leaving.”

“I did the best I could.” Your voice comes out shakier than you intend it to.

Yoongi stands. “You know,” he turns and makes his way over to the bunk he’s claimed, tossing his rucksack onto the floor, “there was a time I’d believe that.” He climbs into the bunk and rolls so that his back is facing you.

And with that, any hope of rekindling your friendship dies in your heart. Of course, it bothers you. So, despite everything in your soul screaming at you not to, you push.

“Why are you being such an asshole?”

“What?” His head turns so he can see you over his shoulder.

“You heard me. You’ve been nothing but an impossible, immature, impetuous asshole since you walked into your hearing. I-”

“Ever think that maybe it’s you?”

It’s a punch to the gut you weren’t expecting. You can feel the wind leave your sails. “What?”

“You’re the problem. I just want to get this mission done and get back in the field. That’s it. Just leave me alone, you don’t need to be annoying.”

You nod, despite the fact that you know he can’t see you. It’s the mess hall on Hoth all over again. Yoongi has always known how to disarm you. You used to think it was a good skill. As teenagers, you’d been able to calm each other’s tempers, keep each other grounded. But now, you aren’t sure that it’s such a good thing.

Your heart is heavy when you slip back into the co-pilot’s seat.

“We should arrive in Bespin airspace on schedule,” Tee reports, turning to you. “I’m detecting an abnormal heart rate, and your breathing is shallow. Should I begin protocol 04-”

“I’m fine, Tee.”

previous | masterlist | next

okay, so like.... how do we feel about the first chapter? I'm so curious to know your thoughts! my ask box is open--feel free to shoot me a message and let me know how we're feeling.

Yoongi's poetry this part is from "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from the musical Les Miserables.

#yoongi x reader #yoongi #suga x reader #suga #min yoongi #min yoongi x reader #bts #bts au #star wars au #bts star wars au #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi angst #suga fluff #suga angst #min yoongi fic #suga fic #bts fic #bts x reader

149 notes · View notes

theoretical-tactician · 1 year

Text

Hey! So, I said I might make a list of Fire Emblem modding links, so here it is! Before anything, be sure you have a hacked 3DS so you can mod your games. You can load mods directly onto a hacked 3DS OR you can use a hacked 3DS to dump your games and play them on an emulator.

If you haven't hacked your 3DS yet, follow this guide to do so! It's easy and super safe!

As for if you want to emulate, you can download the citra emulator here. Just be aware that the emulator can be demanding and not all games function great (all the Fire Emblem games are functional, though).

Now, as for game modding, here are a few of my favorite things to use as well as some interesting mods others enjoy. Feel free to share mods you enjoy and I'll add them to this list.

General Modding

Paragon - This in and of itself is not a mod. However, if you're interested in dipping your toes in trying to create your own mods, this is a good starting point! This tool provides you with a friendly user interface to mess with the code of the game and create your own custom mods (don't worry, you don't need to know how to code).

Fire Emblem Awakening

Unofficial Gay Awakening - As the name says it adds gay supports in Awakening. I can't really add anything here.

Project Thabes - This is an overhaul of Awakening, akin to a sort of remix. The idea is fixing up some issues with story, rebalancing, and remixing maps. Definitely an interesting project to check out if you want a fresh experience with the game.

Awakening HD - This is just mod to upscale textures. Really meant for people playing the game on citra, not hardware.

Twin Morgans - Y'know. If you want double the Morgan. :)

Reverse Recruitment Order - Excluding Chrom, Robin, and Lucina, all units are obtained in reverse order. Something fun to mix up your game.

Fates Stances - If you came to really love the stance system in Fates, good news! This mod implements the stance system into Awakening. Yeah, it's less broken, but way more fun.

Gender-Lock Removal - You want male pegasus knights and female barbarians? Here they are. Need I say more?

Fire Emblem Fates

Unofficial Gay Fates - It's as the name says: a mod to add gay supports to Fates. Though it's not just gay, it also generally adds additional supports between characters.

Ignis - This is a Fates randomizer that allows you to customize your own experience. This can randomize recruitment order, chest/village items, skills, classes, stats, and so on. I've been using this for years, so I can vouch for its fun and stability.

Fates HD - Just a mod to upscale textures. Meant for people playing the game on citra, not hardware.

Before Fates - This mod is currently a work in progress, but it's meant to expand the backstory in Fates. While it's incomplete, it's definitely worth keeping an eye on.

Fates Retranslation+ - If you kinda hate the translation of Fates, good news! This mod retranslates the entire game to better match the original Japanese version. It also adds some minor patches, but the idea of this mod is to fix the English translation.

Princess Personals - Legendary weapons for the princesses. Because they earned it. :)

Non-Binary Corrin - For all my non-binary pals out there, someone made a mod to make all references to Corrin gender-neutral. (Note: the mod creator is remaking the mod due to some issues.)

Playable Lilith - Do you love Lilith? Sad that she's stuck being killed off in routes and is otherwise unplayable? Well, this mod adds her as a playable character. Do it for her.

Face-Lift - This mod does some edits to characters to update things like skin tones and eye colors to look more natural/better match parents (like giving Benny darker skin rather than grey skin). It has a regular version for hardware and HD version for citra users who like having the HD mod.

Fire Emblem Echoes

Route Swap - Just a funky little mod that swaps the two parties. So now Celica and crew are on Alm's journey and vice versa.

Installing Mods

3DS

Assuming your 3DS is hacked, you should be using luma to mod games. Once you have your mod files, installing them is extremely easy. Load up your SD card and go into luma > titles and create a folder with the corresponding title id to your game.

Once you have a folder for your game, drop the mod files within (remember to unzip them, and they should be a romfs folder). If done correctly, it should look something like this.

There's one final step before you run your modded game, though! Reinsert your SD card in your 3DS and then hold SELECT while powering the console on. The luma config menu should come up. Select "Enable game patching" then press START to save.

You only ever have to do this luma step once. So once you've enable game patching, you can freely switch out mods on your 3DS and they'll run automatically. If you want to disable mods, either delete them from your SD card or disable game patching.

Citra

Just like with hardware, modding games on citra is extremely easy. All you have to do is open citra, right click the game you want to mod, and click "Open Mods Location" from the menu like below.

This will create/open a mod folder for the title you selected. Just like on the 3DS, all you have to do is insert your mod folder here. It should be inside a romfs folder like below.

If you did everything correctly, then your mods should take effect when you next run your game on citra.

#fire emblem #3ds modding #long post #if y'all need any more modding tutorials or w/e feel free to ask #i've been modding my 3ds for years at this point #and on citra by extension for a while #so i'll gladly answer any questions y'all have #and i've dabbled in making my own mods #so i can help a bit with that too

349 notes · View notes

hannibals-favourite-meal · 2 years

Text

The Trouble of Love Languages

Dean Winchester x plus size reader

Dean’s love language is quality time and acts of service while the woman he loves most in this world craves physical touch, which is the one thing he can’t stand.

Warnings: angst to fluff, they’re both in a bit of the wrong here, Dean has touch aversion, arguing, Dean is definitely an asshole with lots of unresolved issues, slightly toxic relationship?, break up, reader is ever so slightly touch starved, lovers to ex’s to lovers again, drinking, crying, comfort, hopeful ending, Sam is a good wingman

WC: 4.7k

Minors DNI

Dean Winchester hated to be touched. After spending all of his life with minimal kind physical touch with the people he cared about, it was no wonder he had an aversion to it. He could put up with a hug or slap on the back to his brother and fleeting kisses to his girlfriend’s cheek or forehead but everything else was off limits.

She did her best with what she got but sometimes, she just wanted to be held against his broad chest and inhale his unique scent of cheap cologne and gunpowder with just a hint of cherry pie. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body pressed tightly to her but her love for the hunter kept those needs locked behind a steel door that she never noticed had begun to rust.

Y/N sighed, putting down the massive book on werewolves that she had been studying for the past few hours. There was a tight band around her head that was slowly drawing tighter and tighter as a killer tension headache set in. She glanced over to the other side of the library where Dean had his feet perched up on the table as he leaned back in his chair, mindlessly sucking one of the lollipops Y/N had bought for Halloween.

He was only wearing a gray henley today instead of his usual many layers of plaids and shirts so she could see, very clearly, the way his muscles moved under the fabric and the slight pudge of his belly. Those dazzling green eyes were fixed on a new edition of some car magazine he picked up on the way back from a hunt. Y/N couldn’t help it.

Slipping from her own chair, she glided over to him. “What’cha reading?”

“Magazine.” He grunted but she knew he wasn’t being mean, sometimes Dean just didn’t want to talk. Without thinking, she laid her hands on his thick shoulder and gave them a squeeze.

Dean flinched out of her grasp, turning so quickly that Y/N had to take a step back to avoid being knocked over. His chair clattered to the floor as the library settled into an explosive silence. Y/N knew Dean could be scary, he’s been through so much trauma, seen and experienced things twenty times over that no human should ever have to see or experience even once. He told her of his time in hell and as a demon but promised that she would never be scared of him because he would protect her.

But now, as his chest heaved with heavy breaths, he was positively terrifying. “How many times have I told you not to do that?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “You know I don’t like to be touched and yet you still continue to do it. How long is it going to take before you get it? I. Don’t. Want. To. Touch. You.” His voice was level but filled with anger, a rage she had only seen when he confronted the worst kinds of monsters imaginable.

“Dean I’m sorry I-“

“You know maybe we shouldn’t even be together. Time and time again, you do this and you always say you’re sorry and that you won’t do it again but then a couple days later, you do.” Y/N’s heart was breaking right in front of the hunter but he was too blind with fury he couldn’t see it. “I can’t be with someone as fucking needy as you. It’s every goddamn day! I can’t get one second of peace with you being so clingy.”

That was the last straw. Y/N pushed a finger into his chest, shoving him backwards. He knew how insecure she was about her need for affection and constant reassurance, but until now, he never made her feel like it was an inconvenience. “Then yeah we shouldn’t be together. But you’re not going to be the one to break us up, I am. You’re a selfish man Dean Winchester. I don’t ask a lot from you. I ask that you take care of yourself, that you don’t cheat on me, that you treat me with respect and maybe the occasional hug so I don’t feel like one of your one night stands when you roll off of me after sex.

“I deserve someone who wants to be near me, who tries to understand what I need instead of brushing me off because you don’t want to make the effort. I am sick of being treated like a toy you can pick up and put down whenever you want a quick fuck or comfort. So Dean, you got your wish, we’re done.” Y/N turned and stormed off, her eyes burning with tears that didn’t fall until she could no longer hear her now ex destroying the library.

It was sad how quickly her bags were packed, only a duffle bag and a backpack that housed her entire life. She paused as she lifted the flannel she often wore to bed, the red and black fabric was soaked in Dean’s scent and never failed to make her feel safe every time she wore it.

It felt like a reminder of her faults, of all the things wrong with her that he couldn’t put up with. Scoffing, she threw it onto the bed they had shared only a couple hours ago. There was a quick knock on the door jam.

Sam, the gentle giant that he was, leaned on the wood, brown eyes big with concern. “Where’s Dean?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” She snapped, quickly zipping up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, barging past him.

“Hey hey, what’s going on? Did you and Dean have a fight?” He trailed after her like a puppy, sadly watching as she stomped towards the garage which notably was missing the prized Impala. A cruel part of her mind cooed that it was probably parked at some bar where he would find someone better than her.

“If you can call it that.” She muttered, throwing open the door to her truck and shoving her stuff in. Just as she was about to climb in herself, Sam’s hand wrapped around her forearm to hold her back.

“What happened?” Tears quickly rolled down her full cheeks, wetting the shirt she was wearing as they made their way down her neck. She turned to look at the men who had become her best friend, her voice firm with a slight quiver of sadness.

“We broke up.”

With a quick pull of her arm, Sam released her and she stepped into the cab of the truck. She rolled down the window, giving him a somber look. “Take care of him, ok. And-“ Y/N debated her next words carefully before speaking again. “Tell him I love him, even if he doesn’t believe it. He needs to know he’s loved.”

And with that, she drove off, leaving behind a very confused Sam and a life that she wished she could have kept.

——————

Another town, another hunt, another bar. That’s how it always went and for a long time, Dean was content to keep it that way. Then she blew into his life like a hurricane, knocking everything off path and forging her own. No more random hookups or drinking beer with every meal. She even made him get rid of all the guns he mounted on the wall in his room.

And now, the hurricane had passed, leaving behind destruction and a hole the shape of her in his heart. But she would not come back, he made sure of that when he called her clingy. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it. He regretted it the moment it left his mouth and watched as the light in her eyes died.

She was gone, because of him, because of his stupidity he lost the best thing that has ever happened to him and the only thing he could do was accept it. So, he went back to his old ways, paving over the path of destruction in his soul the only way he knew how, beer, hunts, and women.

Sam decided to stay in the motel that night, shooting his older brother a look so devastating that Dean couldn’t meet his eye for fear he would see the disappointment and pity he already felt in himself. But Dean slipped out the door anyway and headed for the closest bar, truly not giving a shit if it was any good or not.

The music was too loud, the lights too dim, the beer too stale. Dean, however, was determined to stay, trying to convince himself that he could go on without her. He downed his first drink quickly, not letting the taste hit his tongue before his glass was drained. Signaling for another one, he rested his elbow against the sticky bar counter.

It was familiar, like returning to your childhood home. But it felt wrong. The voice in the back of his mind was screaming at him to leave, to find her and crawl on his knees begging for forgiveness until she came back. That voice was silenced with another glass of cheap whiskey.

The hand planted on his chest was familiar too. A touch he could tolerate because he knew what came after, sweaty bodies rutting together until that rush of dopamine hit him and he could feel like a normal person for a while. She was pretty, young too and obviously enamoured by the sexy older man with a gruff voice that bought her drinks and made her feel special.

Another drink. She asked him to go back to hers and he agreed, following blindly after her as she led him away. He couldn’t remember the walk to the non descript apartment, only coming back to himself when she took his hand in her own, shooting him a wink that he supposed was meant to be sultry but just served to lessen the ache in his cock.

Her slender fingers hooked into the belt loops of his jeans, tugging his thin hips into hers and pulled him into her home. The door slammed shut behind him, blindly following her.

A grunt was knocked from his lungs as she moved him onto her bed, sinking to her knees with hooded eyes. “Lemme take care of you baby.” Her voice was grating on his ears. Dean resisted the urge to flinch when her palms were laid on his muscular thighs.

It was so wrong, a nightmare he couldn’t escape but at the same time, didn’t want to because he wanted to prove something to himself, to validate his anger and his rage at the woman that loved him so much. Dean felt her tug at his belt and was broken from his thoughts.

“Stop. Just stop.” He all but shoved the girl off of him in his haste.

“What the hell!” She chastised, quite obviously offended at having been rejected by this man that until a few seconds ago, seemed very keen to have a night of fun with her. Dean shook his head and with a muttered ‘sorry’ left her kneeling on the bedroom floor.

“You fucking dick!” She called after him, and he couldn’t help but agree.

——————

Jody’s home was pleasant enough to live in. With home cooked meals every single night and a deluge of girl talk with not only the Sheriff but the two teens in her charge. It was a good distraction for a while, getting caught up in the usual antics of the young women that Y/N imagined Sam and Dean were like when they were younger.

But even the best distractions can only last for a little while. And each night, as she settled into the small bed graciously given to her, Y/N just felt alone. She was out of place here, a passing visitor that had overstayed her welcome long ago. No matter how much Jody may have protested the opposite and Claire and Alex insisted that they loved having her there, this wasn’t Y/N’s home.

Her home had always been Dean. His presence had soothed her soul in a way that nothing had ever done before. She lived for nights where they would drink and laugh themselves silly or when he would prepare her coffee just the way she liked it in the morning. She desperately missed how his face would break out into an uneven and frankly goofy smile when she teased Sam.

In a vain attempt to stop her mind from going down a road that she knew would make her spiral, Y/N shoved her headphones in her ears and blasted a random playlist. The soft guitar and crooning voice so similar to Dean’s had her eyes burning with tears. Her chest ached as she thought about the way he sang to her in the car, his hand on the seat beside her plump thigh, not quite touching her but close enough she knew it was there.

Tears rolled down her temples wetting the pillow beneath her head as she let herself mourn the love she had lost. Her sobs were silent, mere hiccups as she forced herself not to make any noise to alert the others. She couldn’t take anymore of their pitying looks.

She hugged herself tightly as her nails dug into her soft forearms, her chest heaving with her cries. Images of the man she considered her soulmate with another woman sent her deeper down the rabbit hole of self-despair. She could only imagine what he had gotten up to in the weeks since she left and it was driving her crazy.

The song faded out, leaving Y/N alone with her thoughts for a second too long. The brightness of the screen blinded her for just a moment before she clicked on the last text exchange in her phone.

I love you sweetheart

The low buzz of the outgoing call rumbled against her chest where she placed her phone face down. In the silence between each ring, she was doubting her decision more and more. Why should she reach out first when he was the one that broke them?

“Hello?” His raspy voice came out crackled through her head phones, making her heart jump slightly.

“S-sorry butt dial.” She panicked, quickly hanging up but not before hearing him call out, “Wait! Plea-“ Y/N threw her phone onto the pile of her clothes in the corner of the room, ignoring how it was now ringing again, a photo of her and Dean lighting the screen.

Sleep did not come easily that night even after her cries ceased, her eyes finally fluttering closed as the sun began to peak over the horizon, dousing the room in a soft pink.

——————

It was rare that music didn’t play in the Impala. There was almost always a constant stream of classic rock that spewed from the radio, yet the silence was more overwhelming than the usual loud songs Dean sang along to.

Sam was deeply concerned for his older brother. He knew the break up hit him hard, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, but the younger Winchester didn’t think it was this bad. Dean reeked of the same whiskey he religiously drank after they lost Bobby. His clothes were rumpled and dirty, the Impala, his prized possession looked dull and lifeless, caked with dirt and dead bugs.

Dean hadn’t shaved in the weeks since she left so he now sported a semi-impressive beard which Sam attempted to make fun of just the same as his own facial hair had been but Dean had merely grunted and ignored him. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” He attempted to start a conversation.

“Jody’s.”

“Why?” The one word answers were nothing new, but at least he was talking. Dean’s green eyes flicked briefly over to his brother before returning to the road.

“Hunt.” Sam sighed, slumping back against the leather bench of the car, his focus shifting to the world that was speeding past them. He was sick of this self-pitying attitude that was slowly driving the older man to madness when it could be solved so easily.

“If you pulled your head out of your ass, you could get her back.” The air in the car turned to ice. “Don’t act like I didn’t hear you frantically calling her last night.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He growled, knuckles turning white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. But Sam kept pushing.

“She’s the best thing to have ever happened to you and you just let her leave. Or maybe you just never loved her since you went home with someone only a week ago, that’s why you didn’t put up a fight.”

“Shut up Sam.” Sam, that should have made him worry. He was only called Sam when Dean was pissed and on the edge of an almost toddler-like melt down.

“I’m just saying, if you really wanted to, and I mean really really wanted to, she would forgive you. But you don’t want to make the effort.” The tires screamed as Dean pulled off the road with a flick of his wrists. Sam was jerked sideways with the force but then was sent the other direction as Dean fisted the front of his flannel and shoved him back against the car door.

His eyes were wild with fury and his next words came out in a snarl. “I can’t get her back. Don’t you understand that. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” He pushed, desperate to get his brother to finally come to his senses. “You know she loves you and that she would do anything for you. What made this fight so terrible?”

“Because I can’t touch her!” The silence quickly returned as Sam tried to comprehend what he was just told. “I can’t touch her Sammy.” Dean was on the edge of tears. He released his shirt from his grasp like the fabric had burnt him and buried his head in his hands.

Sam had never witnessed Dean like this before, like his world was crumbling down before him and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it because he had just given up. No matter the circumstances or insurmountable odds that had faced him, he always pushed through with his can-do attitude and unwavering loyalty to those he loved. But now he was being consumed by a hopelessness so many monsters had attempted to instill in him but never could.

He was heartbroken and suffering. He lost the woman who knew his soul and yet still loved him. Sam knew what that despair felt like, to have such a great love ripped away and not giving yourself time to lament on that loss.

“Dean.” He started but was quickly interrupted.

“I couldn’t give her what she deserved. I couldn’t be that loving boyfriend she wanted so badly. I couldn’t even fucking hug her without feeling like I wanted to push her away. And I knew it was hurting her but she was right, I am selfish. I wanted her to myself even if I could see her slowly dying inside.”

The sun was quickly setting over the brothers, the reds and purples giving way to a deep blue. They watched, for a moment, as the stars began to appear and the darkness surrounded them. “I’ve hurt so many people in my life. My hands have been stained red with blood for so long and she was the one person I couldn’t stand to hurt. Yet I hurt her so badly that she ran away from me.”

“But you do want her back don’t you?”

Tearful green eyes looked back at him. “More than anything.”

“Then we need to make a pitstop, I have an idea.”

——————

Y/N couldn’t help but notice Jody’s worried glances towards the front door as they ate dinner. “Alright Mills, that’s the eighth time you’ve looked at the door in five minutes. What’s going on? Do you have a secret lover coming over?” Claire snorted in her drink but quickly recovered as her surrogate mom shot her a glare.

“No, I do not have a secret lover. Thank you very much. I’m just waiting for a package.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at the older woman, still incredibly doubtful.

“It’s almost 10 at night, why would a package be delivered this late?”

“Well, I-“ The doorbell rang, saving her from having to give another lame excuse. “Excuse me a moment, there’s my package.” Y/N narrowed her eyes at the Sheriff, not saying anything else.

Alex sighed, shaking her head, like she was in on some conspiracy that Jody had set up. “Have you got anything to add?” Y/N teased.

“Nope, nothing at all. Isn’t that right Claire?” Said girl, who was sitting to Y/N’s left, just huffed and took another large bite of her food.

Y/N ignored the muffled voices coming from the entryway, assuming that Jody, being her usual friendly self, was making conversation with whoever was at the door. Then, “hey girls, I need your help for a minute.” And without so much as a groan of annoyance, both teens stood and rushed from the room.

Before Y/N could follow after them, she heard the front door slam shut and the obvious sound of a car engine starting up and then driving away. “What the hell?” Just as she stood from the table to investigate, a large figure blocked the doorway.

“Dean?”

“Hi sweetheart.” She melted at the sound of his voice clearly after so long and not through the crackly and broken version she heard through the dozens of voicemails he left her the night before. She itched to run into his strong arms but remained in place, her hand absentmindedly falling to the table, laying her palm flat against the butter knife she had been using. “I hope you’re not planning on using that on me.”

Dean gestured to her hand in a joking manner but only succeeded in making her scowl at him. “You look like shit.” He winced at her tone.

“I deserved that.”

“You deserve a lot worse. What the hell do you want Winchester?” Dean sighed. His body tilted forward, like he wanted to get closer. Running a hand through his hair, which was slightly longer than he normally kept it, his eyes dropped to the ground.

Y/N watched as he deflated, the usually stoic image of the hunter before her crumbling to dust and leaving a man that looked truly broken. “I didn’t mean to call you clingy.” Straight to business, good. She thought.

“But you did. And you did it knowing full well how I feel about that word.” Unconsciously, her voice softened as he nodded along to what she was saying.

“I know and I’m sorry about that. I’m- fuck- I’m sorry about everything.” Y/N didn’t object when he took a tentative step forward and she cursed her body for not recoiling as he drew closer. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to move away. “I wish I could be the man you want, the one you deserve, but I’m not and I don’t think I will ever be.”

“Not really selling your case here Dean.”

“Just- just let me get to my point and then you can cuss me out. I love you and I want to change for you. I want to get better at touching you and I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you home. Besides Sammy’s been pouting a lot without you there and it’s getting really fucking annoying.” Of course the man couldn’t get through a serious discussion without being a dumbass.

Dean stood inches from her now, and Y/N could see how his hands trembled, either from anxiety or the copious amounts of alcohol she smelt from him, she didn’t know. “I don’t want you to change, Dean. I love you for who you are but you really hurt me and-“

“I know.” He cut her off. “I know and I want to make it right, if you’ll let me.” His green eyes shone with tears

“Goddamn you and your stupid puppy dog eyes.” She grumbled. Dean smirked. “Alright! Jesus, we can try again but I expect so much fucking grovelling, like ten times more than I had to do when I accidentally ate the last slice of pecan pie.”

He smiled and nodded, placing his hand on the dining room table mere millimeters from her own. “Anything you want sweetheart.”

“And no sex for the foreseeable future, not even over the clothes stuff.” He winced at that but still, his smile did not waver.

“And, and, fuck I can’t think of anything else with you looking at me like that.” She whined and turned her head so she didn’t have to look into his eyes anymore. Y/N gasped as a finger hooked under her chin, guiding her gaze back to the man she still loved so much. His smile was even softer now, almost dopey with love.

“I’ll do whatever it takes, even if that means never getting to see you in anything less than fully clothed for the rest of my life and giving you all of my pie. I just need you, sweetheart.” His forehead dropped to her own, the tips of their noses brushing together in an act so intimate it made her chest burn with affection.

“Did you sleep with anyone else?” The question hung heavily in the air, pressing down on both of their chests like a massive weight. Dean breathed out harshly through his nose and Y/N froze, already fearing his answer, she began to pull away. But without any hesitation, his right arm wound around her thick waist and tugged her into his chest. Caught off guard, Y/N planted her hands on his chest.

She felt the way his body tensed beneath her palms, still so unused to being touched but he didn’t let her go like he would have before. “The short answer: no.”

“And the long answer?” Her throat felt like it was closing up with the onslaught of tear building behind her eyes.

“A girl brought me back to her place and tried to go down on me but I didn’t even kiss her. I left before she got my belt off.” Unable to stop herself, Y/N chuckled.

“You just left?”

Dean’s cheeks coloured with a rare flush. “Yeah, I walked out the door and she was still on her knees calling me a dick.”

“Well she was right about that.” And they stayed like that for a moment, letting themselves be reminded about how much they loved each other. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, Dean stepped away.

“Wait here, I have something for you.” With a few long strides, he left the room and then quickly reappeared holding a canvas bag with the phrase ‘act like a lady, think like a boss’ printed on the side in big, bold lettering. “Don’t diss the bag sweetheart.”

And before she could snark something back, he pulled a teddy bear from the bag. The bear seemed to be a regular plush at first glance, but when Dean handed it to her, Y/N couldn’t help but smile brightly. The toy easily weighed 5 pounds and suspiciously smelt of Dean’s cologne. “I thought that this could be a substitute for when you want to cuddle. But this is temporary, cause I will get better. He’s just a placeholder.”

“He?”

“Yeah.” He sighed happily. “Little Dean Jr.” Holding the bear tighter to her chest, Y/N stood on her tiptoes and finally planted her lips on his. Her skin burned as the soft kiss quickly turned more passionate and his newly grown beard scraped against her. Fingers curled into his hair, Y/N yanked him even closer as Dean’s hands fell to her generous ass, giving her cheeks a light squeeze.

Reluctantly, she pulled away first, her lungs screaming for oxygen and her brain telling her that if she kissed him any more, she would end up in the back seat of Baby with her legs over his shoulders. “This is a start. But I will not have you talk to me like that again. If you do, I’m gone and you won’t ever see me again.”

“I promise, I’ll do better.” Content with his answer, Y/N pecked his swollen lips.

“The bear was Sam’s idea wasn’t it?”

“But I named him!”

Supernatural Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Join my taglist!

All works

@im-a-slut-for-fluff

@alexxavicry

@ravenwings73

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@Silverfire475

@psychadelichues

@mvyalx

@km-ffluv

Dean Winchester

@pretty-npeach

@jason-todds-bitch

@andreasworlsboring

@Honkytonkbabe

@nini-trash-forever

@mandyzsick101

@getoutofthere

#dean winchester x plus size reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x y/n #angst #plus size reader #female reader #dean x plus size reader #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #supernatural #supernatural angst #happy ending #sam winchester #claire novak #jody mills #alex jones

840 notes · View notes

albireogames · 11 months

Text

Update v0.4.2 - Lark route release!

The first full route is complete! Lark's story spans 38k words (47k including side content) and has three possible endings: romantic, platonic, or... neither. We hope you go for all three!

In addition to the main story, there are a total of 20 side events as well, with many more to come in future updates. We plan to add a New Game+ feature to make it easier to see them all without having to complete a lot of additional playthroughs.

Unfortunately, since this is the only finished route at the moment, the game automatically sets you on the path to get one of her endings, so you don't have the option to pursue one of the other dragons. Other dragons' routes will be added in future updates, so please look forward to it.

If you encounter any bugs, please comment and let us know!

Play the game here: https://fenmori.itch.io/dragongame

Bug fixes and changes from 0.4.0 (closed beta):

Fixed a major issue where the two non-romantic endings were inaccessible due to a flag being set improperly

Added story flag checks for whether the player qualifies for the platonic ending

Fixed an issue where Lark always refers to a past event that may not have happened depending on the player's choice

Fixed the implementation of a toggle that mutes SFX for advancing text to reduce consistency issues where, after toggling the sound off, it would occasionally toggle back on by itself

Fixed an issue where, if the player chooses to play the game with rollback disabled, it would occasionally become enabled again after certain scenes

Fixed an issue where opening the game menu before selecting a rollback option would raise an exception and crash the game due to play time data being uninitialized

Fixed an issue with the Log where all character names were in lowercase

Fixed an issue with item art sizing

Fixed some transitions where the NVL dialogue window would show abruptly instead of dissolving in

Added lines of text before scene changes to make the window transition from the phone dialogue to ADV dialogue smoother

Changed the location for the Draconid invitation scene to better fit the tone

Changed the look and feel of buttons on the title screen

Updated the Credits and About menu screens to be consistent with the rest of the game menus

Adjusted the spacing of various UI elements

Made minor adjustments to a few sprites

Changed a few sprite transitions for better impact

Added two new pieces of item art that can be found in the beach scene

Fixed some transitions to use the right color

Fixed minor typos and edited some lines of dialogue for clarity

#perihelion #game dev #visual novel #lark

99 notes · View notes

splendidsneb · 4 months

Text

EDIT: Fan of the icons? Wanna to say 'Hey, good job!' And support me? Consider buying a sticker!

Greetings lovelies, I've been busy with another project and it's finally time to share.

As you can see, I've taken it upon myself to redraw my entire DbD Icon Pack.

This was no small task, I had a total of 73 characters to redraw, colour and format to work in game. (and not a whole lot of free time to do so)

I've been working on this icon pack since 2016, and as time has passed, both my skill as an artist, as well as the way I render certain things have changed, so I decided to go ahead and redo the entire project in a more cohesive style, as well as more closely reference official models when making the initial sketches, as quite a few of the old pieces were just me eye balling things and saying "close enough", so while you'll see some characters that look the same over all with minor tweaks to fix mistakes like Meg or Trapper, you'll also see some art that was completely redone for characters that I just wasn't happy with the quality, like Jeff of Doctor.

That being said, I made a point of eye dropping all colours used directly from the previous version of the icons, along with reusing the same textures.

I wanted the icons to feel as close to the originals as I could make them, while still taking into account that the new UI features the icons on a dark background, which caused some visibility issues with the previous version, which were made with (at the time) lighter colour background in mind.

The new versions now have a white outline which keeps the icons from blurring into the background and getting lost.

I'm really happy with how this has turn out, and I hope you like it too!

That being said, while I will only be updating this version going forwards, I'm not going to delete the older version, so if you're a super fan of the previous version and would prefer to keep using them, you absolutely can!

The 'New and Improved' version can be found on NightLight app under "Sketched In Profile.", as well as here as a [Mega] if you'd prefer that.

If you wish to use the previous version of the icons, you can click the Mega and find them located in the folder entitled "!Legacy Icons." They'll be at the front of the list for easy access.

Feel free to take a peak at what they look like in game below!

As always, if you have any questions or concerns about using these, feel free to reach out!

#Custom Icons #Dead By Daylight #DbD #Killers #Survivors #UI #Icon Pack #Steam #Download #Workshop Never Ever #Traditional Lines #Digital Colour

24 notes · View notes

knight-otu · 2 months

Text

Toady's Devlog for 03/06/2023 - Dwarf Fortress 50.12 Released

Toady One, from the Bay12Games forums:

New stuff () Ability to sort the lists from the creature/task menus () Kitchen interface sorting and searching () Work detail sorting and searching () Can edit and restore default work details () Saves can be sorted by world and folder on the title screen () Keyboard support for many unit lists () Ability to designate burrows over multiple Z levels Major bug fixes () Fixed a few crashes relating to pregnancy () Fixed save corruption related to bad job ids () Fixed crash related to language mods () Goblins should have trolls again, and some additional friends (new worlds only) () Vampires in forts should hide properly Graphics additions/changes () Additional statue graphics () Fixed some classic building interface lights Other bug fixes/tweaks () Squad assignment now lists already-assigned units last () Fixed error in calculation of bridge support () Fixed issue in how environment-appropriate work animals are selected for visiting fortress () Fixed missing autopause tooltip () Additional miscellaneous optimizations () Fixed minor issue with forest variant display () Fixed clipping issue on unit sheets () Fixed minor issue with cage contents display () Fixed pet list display on unit sheet rarely skipping a pet () Llamas are pack animals now

#dwarf fortress #development log

12 notes · View notes

brainrotallthewaydown1312 · 7 months

Text

I just got a poll about bi himbos on my feed and the first option, who is winning in a landslide, is Jake Peralta. and like I get it. believe me I get it. but y'all seem to forget he is a cop. that is literally like his whole thing.

I almost kept scrolling, but I also recently saw fanart of the 99 at a pride parade and a babygirl edit of Terry. so I think it's time for a reminder.

ACAB includes fictional tools of copaganda.

even when

they are fun

they are likeable

they are narratively interesting

they are nuanced

they are looking to fix the system

they are kind people

they are relatable

they are flawed

the writers know they are a bastard

this is because they are still cogs in a bastardized system. all cops are bastards because they are traitors to their class, to their communities, and when they are any kind of minority they are traitors to their identities. by working as a cop they perpetuate systematic cycles of violence and oppression. even if they have reasons like "I want to fix the system from inside" or "I was helped by a cop once and want to do that" or "I genuinely want to help people who are struggling" there are other, better ways to accomplish all of those that do not involve being a cop. even that middle one. there are many forms of community resource positions you can take.

I want to reiterate. I get the thing with Jake Peralta. putting the copaganda aside for a moment, he is a goofball. he is very effectively coded both as bi and as having adhd. he definitely does fit into the chaos bi himbo archetype that is popular for good reason. he is a nuanced character who is always looking for ways to do the right thing. his mistakes are shown and he (usually) is able to recognise them and apologise. he is relatable to many people and charismatic to even more.

but he is still a cop. everyone on that show is either a cop or actively supporting cops, unless they are an antagonist. including Doug Judy, a career criminal who is self described best friends with jake.

and I cannot shame anyone for their enjoyment of Brooklyn 99. the comedy is well written, the characters all have interesting arcs, and it is unique in its genre for a few reasons. I myself watched most of the early seasons when I was in high school and enjoyed the well structured queer coding and the way it discussed the diversity in the precinct instead of shying away from it (put a pin in that for a second) For full disclosure, I have also watched and found enjoyment in the full run of Criminal Minds. and Bones. one of my alltime favorite shows is Eureka which is not only full of copaganda (as its premise) but it has a multi season arc for an autistic character that is important to the plot where his mother (a main character) is desperately trying to cure him a la Autism Speaks. there is not shame in having consumed or enjoyed media with harmful things. but you have to do so with nuance. and you cannot let yourself forget.

returning to the diversity and representation in b99. it is genuinely insidious to normalize members of the communities most historically effected by police brutality and targeted by discriminatory policy as "good cops." yes the writing around these characters is good. and I would argue that in other aspects there is good representation in that show. while the black and POC representation and discussion is also an important related issue, and arguably the more disturbing aspect of this, it is not my place to comment on so I will stick to the queer rep.

Rosa is written in a way that is respectful and is relatable to many bi people. Holt has a nuanced backstory that is not shied away from and his relationship and identity are always respected. Jake is very effectively coded as bi but hasn't realized or accepted yet. and as an autistic person with ADHD, Jake, Holt, Amy, Charles, and Rosa are all well coded and respectfully written neurodiverse characters. and it is difficult to find queer or neurodiverse representation like that. I fully understand that.

but they are cops. queer people (and neurodiverse people) have historically been major targets for cops. we are more likely to die at the hands of a cop than our cishet peers. we are more likely to be hospitalized by them. we are more likely to be arrested on no charge. we are more likely to be set up for things we didn't do. we are more likely to have the book thrown at us when we are innocent and minding our own business. normalizing that cops we deal with can be members of our community our community is legitimately dangerous. LGBT cops are not part of the queer community. they are traitors to their community.

drawing the b99 or any cop real or fictional at pride is horrifying. cops have no place at pride. even off duty. pride is not a party. it is a protest. against cops. it isn't a march for general rights. it is a protest against physical and legal brutality against queer people. it is a memorial to the Stonewall Riot, a response to an act of police brutality against trans women in a queer space. that is why it happens in June. so we do not forget.

b99 is written to make us sympathetic to the emotional nuance and physical danger of being a cop. and for some of y'all that is working. even if you don't think it is. because you are willing to babygirl Terry. you coddle Jakes constant corruption. you will go on at length about the trials holt has faced forgetting that they are because he chose to become part of the system that oppresses him.

there is psychological nuance as to why members of oppressed minorities become cops. of course there is. but there should not be social nuance. all cops are bastards. even fictional cops. even your uncle. because they are participating in and perpetuating a violent bastardized system.

yes, this includes Jake and the rest of the b99. it includes Spencer Reid from criminal minds. it includes Seeley Booth and Temperance Brennan from bones. it includes Sheriff Jack Carter from eureka. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durand from gravity falls. Olivia Benson from Law and Order. James Gordon from the DC universe. Ranger Walker from Walker Texas Ranger. RoboCop. Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead. chief wiggam from the Simpsons. Joe Swanson from family guy. Inspector Lastraude from every iteration of Sherlock Holmes. arguably Sherlock himself for how often he cooperates with the police. Inspector Gadget. David tennant's broadchurch roll. and every other fictional cop you can think of.

all of them. even the kind ones. even the black ones. and the queer ones. and the disabled ones. even the ones where the media knows they are a bastard. even when they are there to be the butt of the joke. they are all bastards.

and you can watch them. you can read about them. you can even write about them. you can enjoy their media. but you cannot let yourself forget that they are a cop. and that all cops are bastards. because of you forget about one cop being a bastard, that leaves room to sympathize with other cops. and as we all know, even a cop with personal empathy for you is still a cop who will act with violence and corruption without a second thought. and if you forget that in the wrong moment in real life, you or someone else can and will get hurt. physically hurt. mentally hurt. legally hurt. all of the above. sympathy for cops gets minorities killed.

never let yourself forget that.

all cops are bastards.

#brooklyn 99 #fictional cops #all cops are bastards #acab #copaganda #propaganda #jake peralta #jake peralta bi #police violence #police brutality #pride #queer #queer pride #cops in fiction #representation #queer representation

21 notes · View notes

sweetdevil-sims · 10 months

Text

Get to Know Me - Sims Edition

I was tagged by several people (thank you!), so I decided to get off my ass for once and answer this 😆

What’s your favorite Sims death? I think the mummy's curse one! There's just something about that ominous vignette during the countdown days, only for the sim to dissolve into dust at the end 😩👌

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Both! Maxis Match for clothing, Alpha for hair.

Do you cheat your sims weight? Nope! I leave them at whatever weight they happen to be, unless they want to learn/practice the Athletic skill. I do cheat to give them more muscle tone if they're super muscular already, though; EA really should've made that slider move along the muscle mass one :/

Do you move objects? Oh yes. I can't imagine decorating without it.

Favorite Mod? Nraas Master Controller my beloved 💖 Can't forget BrntWaffles's lighting mods, they make the game look so beautiful that sometimes I like to just leave it on 2x while watching the sunset over the sea.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack? The first EP I got was World Adventures and it's still my favorite. The first and only SP I have is HELS, along with bits and pieces from the others.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing? The latter, though this question tripped me up the first time I saw it 😅

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? Ohh that's a tough one. Fergus Vane is definitely among my favorites, he was a Johnny Bravo knockoff who eventually got married and I swear that he and his wife could NOT keep their hands off each other 😆 First is him making friends at uni, second is him with his wife.

Have you made a simself? Oh yeah, when I got the game and was trying to figure out how to play. Didn't last long until I started making serial black widows, lol.

Which is your favorite EA hair color? That platinum blonde looks so tacky that I can't help but love it.

Favorite EA hair? I think EA struck gold with: Loose Curl, Dramatic Ponytail, La Dolce Vita Updo, Chorus Girl Curl, Pin-up Pretty, Skinny Dreads, Wavy Bob, Elegance Style, and Wild Fire.

Favorite life stage? Young Adult, because it has the most things available.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? Ohh it depends. I go through phases when I'm not interested in gameplay at all, mostly when I set up a savefile for the first time. But now I've been more into gameplay for a few months.

Are you a CC creator? Yeah, mostly with CAS items and minor annoyance fixes.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad? I have a lot of simblr mutuals where I feel like a nosy person sometimes poking their head above the neighbor's fence to see what's going on 😆

Do you have any sims merch? / A Youtube for sims? Nope.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing? I give my concrete boxes a few more decorative elements now 😅 For once, I stopped playing serial killers (mostly to avoid the NPC pudding spam that ensues), and am making an effort to not micromanage sims as much and to fulfill their wishes instead of ending up with mostly level 10 chefs and gardeners all the time.

Who’s your favorite CC creator? Oh man do I have to name someone?? SimplexSims, @aroundthesims, Mutske, @simtanico, @simaddix, @twinsimming, @bioniczombie, @martassimsbookcc, @simbouquet, @plumdrops, @ifcasims, @sim-songs, @deniisu-sims, @bellakenobi, @brntwaffles, @omedapixel, @wanderingsimsfinds, @simlicious, TheSweetSimmer and on and on.

How long have you had Simblr? 2016! Sometimes I can't believe it's been so long.

How do you edit your pictures? I have a few customized Gshade presets, and only convert gameplay screenshots to JPG. For CC previews, I may change the background color and will combine several previews into one image (and I occasionally correct small issues like unsightly clipping due to the poses).

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite? World Adventures is #1, followed by Seasons and prooobably Supernatural.

Oof we're at the end! Thank you for tagging me and for reading, and I tag ✨anyone who wants to do this✨!

#nonsims #personal #meme

38 notes · View notes

heavenlyakin · 9 months

Text

Ken Ryuguji x Reader

Minors DNI

barely edited so be nice to me. here’s some short vignettes of some draken content (angst) that’s been in my head but I can’t manage to put together a whole fic. It’s inspired by “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman.

cw: unrequited love, implied emotional cheating, implied family issues.

——

His first touch felt like warm water rushing over your skin, spreading and soaking you to your core. It was everything you ever needed to feel with someone else. His arm heavy around your shoulders, his grin mesmerizing. The wind blowing your hair everywhere seemed to disappear as you looked into his eyes and felt safe for the first time in years.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked, his voice as beautiful as the song on the radio.

“Anywhere,” you answered truly meaning it. You’d follow him to the ends of the earth.

—

The apartment was nothing to brag about but it was yours and his. Finally a home to calm your own and with the one you loved. It’d been talked about for a little over a year, something you both wanted. You’re saved every penny you could to afford the deposit and first months rent, now you just prayed you’d be able to keep it.

“What’s wrong, love?” Ken asks, picking up immediately on the stress you’re putting on yourself.

“Oh nothing, just wondering how we’ll afford this place.” You laugh, rolling your shoulders back to loosen the tightness that has built up over the last hour or so of worrying.

“We’ll manage it,” he kisses the top of your head, his fingers tangling in yours and pulling you closer. “We always do.”

—

“Just fix it, please! We need you!” Your sisters voice, cracking as she talks, continues to beg you.

“I just don’t understand what I can do from here, I’m so sorry.” You hang up before the guilt eats you alive.

“——-,” your name from Ken’s lips drags your attention away from your cell phone. Fuck, it’s 3 a.m.

You wipe your eyes and sniffle before turning to look at him. “I’m sorry I woke you up, it’s just… my sister. She called again. I’m scared for her,” you tell him.

He sits up, pulling you to his chest. “Shhh, it’s okay. You can’t save everyone, baby.”

—

Your eyes itch as you start to unlock the door to your apartment. You hear laughing as it opens and notice a group of guys and one blonde girl sitting on your couch. Your eyes narrow to see who everyone is but you give up. After picking up a double at work, you really can’t be bothered to scold him for having people over before asking you if it would be okay.

“Hey!” Mikey’s familiar voice greets you as you make int through the kitchen and into the living room.

“Hi,” softly you answer. “Ken, can I chat with you for a second?”

—

Not much has changed. Your sister is still calling you even though you’re halfway around the world and Ken can’t keep a job. You’ve been promoted at least and can take care of everything but it’s wearing on you.

As you’re thinking about him, he stumbles in the apartment, laughing as he picks his keys off the floor. You don’t react, just turning your tv show’s volume up a few notches. He ignores you, going straight to your bedroom and you turn the volume back down.

Your eyes well up, the smell of alcohol and perfume wafting in the apartment now. You don’t have the energy to ask where he’s been, honestly some small part of you is beginning to not care. You just can’t find it in you to ask him to leave yet.

#ken ryuguji #ken ryuguji x reader #ken ryuguji angst #Ken ryuuguji angst #ken ryuuguji x reader #tokyo rev angst

37 notes · View notes

lacrimosathedark · 2 years

Text

Does Deadpool Collect Kids?

Here I am in Spideypool Hell, which results in me looking at the closest people to both of them. I sort of grew up with Spider-Man (video games, cartoons, and movies long before I ever touched a comic) so of course I’m looking at Deadpool first. Who doesn’t love new information? Treading old ground is boring!

(Also Spiderverse shit is confusing. So. Many. Spiders.)

And I came to the realization that Wade’s kind of...surrounded by kids.

Of course he has a kid (multiversely he has a few) but he’s close with more than just that kid.

So here is what I think of as Wade Wilson’s Pseudo-Family aka Kids Who Put Up With His Shit. Be prepared for way too many pictures.

Eleanor Camacho

This adorable baby is Ellie. She’s eight-ish years old (maybe nine or ten now? comic book time is weird) and currently Wade’s only canon child in main continuity. Her whole situation is a bit complicated, but Wade loves her more than anything in the world. And actually, she was a lowkey fan of Deadpool before she knew he was her dad. She loves her dad and she even goes behind her foster mom’s back to try to get him to visit, said foster mom being SHIELD Agent Emily Preston. Wade has forgotten she exists (again) to protect her (AGAIN) but she watches news reports about him and actually interfered with a killing mission he had in a theme park her class happened to have a field trip to.

She’s a baby Spideypool shipper too.

Ellie is Wade’s weak spot, and he only tells people about her if he trusts them. The ones that come to mind are people he likes, namely Shiklah, Spidey, and Rogue, as well as two kids further down on this list. Wolverine and Captain America know too, but because they were part of the mission where he found out about her. Super Soldier team-up.

Also, here’s her in the future. She’s a badass.

I love her so much.

Warda Wilson

(Full disclosure, I did minor editing on this panel because this is the one image of her full body without her mask and they gave her pupils that she has in no other panels and it bothered me so I fixed it)

Wade’s daughter in the 2099 future with his ex-wife, succubus and monster queen Shiklah, and she goes by Deadpool. She had a vendetta against Wade at first for supposedly betraying Shiklah and held him captive. But Ellie rescued him, they cleared things up, and they work together as a family, all three of them, plus brain-ghost Preston.

Deathpool

Exclusive to the video game Marvel Strike Force, but she’s so neat I had to include her. Literally born from “the power of love” between Deadpool and Death, she takes over her mom’s job but is a total daddy’s girl; he trained her to wield weapons and be a quippy little shit, and until he was snapped by Thanos because he’s got issues, she’d visit him on occasion.

(She doesn’t have a canon “normal” name, but I like the name Evita Wilson. It rearranges the letter of the word “vitae” which is Latin for “life” and y’know irony. Plus Evita is the name of both a musical and a Madonna album and you cannot tell me Wade wouldn’t love that)

Itsy Bitsy

Not a friendly, but biologically his daughter (and Spidey’s) from Evil Science Shenanigans. Formerly Susan Mary, a play on “Mary Sue”. She calls both of them “daddy” and even wears a Spiderpool emblem shirt. She’s pretty extreme. Bloodthirsty. Wade actually had to stop Spidey from killing her because Peter was so scared of her and someone was messing with his head. He cut Wade’s head off to try to keep him from interfering. It was kinda nuts. Wade ended up doing what he thought was killing her to keep Spidey’s hands clean. She’s not gone though...

Master Matrix

Another Spideypool kid, no shit. A good one too! And a rare boy on this list! A robot of some type discovered by Richard and Mary Parker, so already hitting home for Peter. After a short villainous confusion after waking from stasis, he was basically taken under Spider-Man’s and Deadpool’s wings and called them both “Father”. The arc is literally officially titled “My Two Dads”. They act like his parent and it’s just *chefs kiss* It’s a whole thing. MM gives off weird vibes, but all in all, he just wants to help. He’s a good boy!

He even gets them to hug!

He then proceeds to send them on a bonding road trip with just...so much Spideypool. That’s where the “Why are you holding my hand?” “It helps me focus.” comes from. And so much fourth-wall breaking and writer interference. Spidey even plays along with Wade’s fourth-wall-breaking shenanigans even though he doesn’t believe it. It’s the best.

Now we move to ones who aren’t his kids!

Gwendolyne Poole

Gwenpool and Deadpool weren’t chummy at first; she didn’t read his book and thought he was too “lol memes”. But they actually got to be pretty friendly. They’re buddies now.

He helped Gwen when she was having an existential crisis and is currently the caretaker of her pet Jeff the Land Shark who is the cutest thing and I love him. He even dresses as Gwen once to make Jeff happy it’s adorable.

I also think he rocks Gwen’s look. He looks great.

Ellie Phimister

Everyone knows about Negasonic Teenage Warhead from the movies where they have that affectionate deadpan snark between them. When they first met, Wade’s group had been contracted to kidnap her. She evaded everyone else, but when met with Deadpool who literally tried to talk her into being kidnapped, she had a vision where he said he wouldn’t leave her behind, and she literally just surrenders.

When Wade finds out what is happening to his targets, he goes in to save her. She has a particular loyalty to Wade and sticks by him pretty much no matter what, but she gradually settles into that deadpan sarcasm.

She takes his nonsense with a straight face and doesn’t tolerate his bullshit. Or at least snarks right back at him.

She’s also one of the few who for sure know about the other Ellie, Eleanor, and looks out for her.

Gabrielle Kinney

A little unexpected, but adorable! Gabby Kinney, also known as Scout or Honey Badger, which is amazing. She don’t give a FUCK. She’s a clone of Laura Kinney, aka X-23 and Wolverine, who is another clone daughter of Logan/James/OG Wolverine. She and Wade bonded over their scars and they’re besties now.

There aren’t a whole lot of instances of Wade and Gabby together, but every SINGLE one is absolute gold. They’re so fucking CUTE. Prepare for so many panels.

Have you seen anything more precious? Best friends.

Evan Sabahnur

Formerly Kid Apocalypse, also known as Genesis. Long story, but pretty much explained in the above page. Wade in particular was determined to save him, as killing him didn’t sit right for some reason, and he was certain that despite everything, Evan was a good kid. When shit went down and Evan didn’t think he could return to the Academy, Wade took him in. Like, brought him to the home he bought across the street from Eleanor and the Prestons.

Wade even says he’ll never have a son, (this is before MM, but it’s funny cuz biologically and multiversely, he does only have daughters) but if he did he’d like him to be like Evan, which is hilarious to me. But that kinda makes what Wade says super sweet.

He also saves Ellie.

Haruka Hida

From Deadpool Samurai, she goes by Sakura-Spider and is a blatant Peter Parker rip-off. Literally she lives with her Aunt Mei and her Uncle Tsutomu which the kanji can also be read as Ben. No shit. The only real difference is the spider bit her on her face and it scarred, hence the spots under her eye. BUT she’s Deadpool’s partner in Japan and she’s super cute. Typical manga protag girl but what can you expect?

(Legit buy them they’re super fun and it’s worth it especially if you like manga it’s so dumb and I love it please buy it)

Neiro Aratabi

Another Deadpool: Samurai character. As said above, she’s an idol in Japan. She’s bonded to an amnesiac symbiote she calls Kage (in case you aren’t up on Japanese, it’s pronounce like “kah-gay” and it means shadow). They like chocolate. She doesn’t get a lot of screen time, but she’s happy being part of the team. She’s content as long as people think she’s cute, for, of course, over-dramatic very anime reasons.

That is ELEVEN CHILDREN. And I’m a newb, this might not even be all of the kids he’s close to!

For comparison, Bruce Wayne has SIX kids (Dick, Jason, Cass, Tim, Duke, and Damian). He has a few other pseudo-kids, Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, and maybe Helena Bertinelli and Maps Mizoguchi, but like...dude.

I need everyone to know that Deadpool is good with kids.

177 notes · View notes

summeroflove-if · 8 months

Note

First off, I absolutely am in love with this story and the update is great. I've already played a few of the routes (planning on getting through all of them before too long), and I really don't have a favorite yet (which means all the ROs are amazing).

However, just one thing that strikes me as a bit odd (super inconseqential though) is that in the breakfast convo with Noah, he asks if we work out much, and the most frequent answer you can have is a few times a week. I know this is fairly vague, but a personal trainer would typically work out more than that, and especially one with physical hobbies. Like I said it is pretty minor, but just struck me as a bit odd, since I consider my workout amount to not be a lot compared to my friends, but I definitely work out 6 days a week.

Hi!

This is a continuity issue and will be fixed in the next public release - I would upload it now, but there will be a proper public release next Friday (25th August) so I don't see the point now even though I did just do a quick edit.

There's also an issue in Anwar's route that's been fixed to make it fair (being able to tell them you were engaged before the Never Have I Ever game), but again, I don't see the point in releasing these little changes a week prior to a big one - if it was more than that, it would be different, but it's 7 days.

You are free to come to me with minor issues like this as I'd rather get it right and this was an oversight more than anything. There are times I might disagree with the complaint, but generally speaking, I'm cool with it.

21 notes · View notes

casuallyimagining · 9 months

Text

When September Ends // part seven.

Min Yoongi x female reader

Summary: Six years after leaving your home planet, you’re forced to confront your past… and the one you left behind. Word Count: 5,483 Genre: Star Wars au, friends to enemies to lovers, angst Warnings: minor character death, survivor's guilt, yoongi has anger issues, mentions of the death of an entire planet, anxiety, alcohol, reader character suffers from the burden of high expectations, mentions of torture (nothing explicit), mentions of needles, hospitalization, brief descriptions of scarring, brief descriptions of panic, hospitalization, an assassination attempt, a gun fight, murder

Notes: Thanks to @daechwitatamic and @the-boy-meets-evil for listening to me complain about this fic, helping me plan, and beta-ing for me; to @oddinary4btsfor the late-game encouragement and edits.

Playlist: All of the poetry in this fic has been pulled from various songs and poems. You can find all the songs (and some others) in the playlist that I made for this fic on Spotify.

previous | masterlist | next

“What do you mean, ‘not fully’?”

Yoongi’s standing beside you outside of Jungkook’s quarters. The younger man is taller, even when he’s leaning against the wall. Yoongi’s voice is a little gruff, but not really biting. It’s interesting to see the change in him, even in just a few short weeks since you got out of the medbay. You’d reflect on it more, but currently, your mind is racing.

“They just don’t make those memory banks anymore,” Jungkook says, pushing himself off the wall. He adjusts the long sleeves of his tunic to cover what you know are scars around his wrists. “I rebuilt what I could, but her personality and memories are all tied into that bank. You can see for yourself, but…” He trails off, sliding his hand over the console in the wall.

The door to his quarters slides open with a mechanical hiss. You and Yoongi follow the kid inside.

You freeze in the doorway. You weren’t expecting Tee to be here and alive and folding Jungkook’s laundry. But there she is. Holding one of Jungkook’s shirts. You can tell he’s had her fixed for a while, too, because the whole room is spotless. It’s still cluttered, but there’s a definite organization to it. Which makes sense. It’s in Tee’s programming to assist with tasks that her charge can’t perform on their own. It’s just… it’s weird to see her caring for someone else, to see her look up when Jungkook enters the room, to see what you know are sensors light up as she silently checks his vitals.

“Hello!” she greets, pushing the shirt into a drawer. “I am TK-53.”

It’s too much. Your brain short-circuits and you can’t. You just can’t. The door hasn’t closed yet, and you take the opportunity to about-face and retreat back into the hallway. The mechanical hiss behind you muffles whatever is said next, but you think you can hear Yoongi say something just as the door is closing.

It’s the same kind of heartbreak you’d had when you’d realized that Yoongi hated you all those weeks ago. The same but different. Tee had been the closest thing you had to a best friend for six years. She was your best friend. Of course, you were friendly with Namjoon, and you were close acquaintances with some of the other rebels. But Tee had been there for you like almost no one else had. She took care of you. Granted, it was her programming, but after so long, you’d managed to convince yourself that somewhere in her circuits, she actually cared for you.

You can tell that your thoughts are on the verge of spiraling, but you’re powerless to stop it. It’s like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, your balance off-kilter–one small breeze could send you hurtling over the edge. You tense in anticipation of the fall, but it never comes. Gently, ever so gently, you’re pulled back from the edge first by a touch on your elbow, then by a pair of arms enveloping you.

His warmth surrounds you, and you tuck your chin over his shoulder, allowing yourself to relax. Your thoughts don’t really stop, but they’re less frantic, less rushed. It gives you time to actually think and not just be battered by it all. For a while, you’re quiet. You focus on the soft rise and fall of his chest against yours, of the gentle puffs of air that tickle your neck when he exhales.

This feeling sucks. And really, there’s nothing you can do about it. Sure, you have your droid back, but you’ll be starting all over. And honestly? Tee in the beginning had been annoying. Threats to leave her on some far-flung star system were not uncommon, and there had been more than one occasion where you’d locked her out of wherever you were sleeping because she’d wake you up to check on you. But then you’d gotten into a routine. She’d learned what could set you off–better than you half the time–and you’d both adapted.

You weren’t sure you wanted to do it all again. Of course, you still needed Tee–or, at least, you still needed something–to help ground you when things got to be too much. But if you’re honest with yourself, it was kind of nice to be without her on Denebia. It’s weird. With Tee around, you were always a little aware of your anxiety. Not that you were always affected by it, but you were always acutely aware of it. Without her, you hadn’t thought about it once before you’d seen the repurposed interrogation droid.

And yet…

“What if it’s not the same?” you whisper.

Yoongi pulls away, and immediately, you miss the contact. But he keeps his hands on your arms as his eyes search your face. What he’s looking for, you aren’t sure, but he frowns.

“It’s not going to be,” he says plainly. “But it can still be good. You can find a new normal.”

You shrug half-heartedly. Maybe he’s right. He’s probably right.

“I don’t think I can be alone again.”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, somewhere between a hum and a grunt. His tone is firm when he speaks. “You won’t be.”

“Excuse me,” a mechanical voice draws you out of your mind. You hadn’t heard Jungkook’s door open. “I am TK-53. Your heart rate appears to be slightly elevated and your breathing is becoming abnormal. Would you care to sit down?” Tee gestures back to the door, the gears in her arms whirring with the movement.

For a moment, you’re quiet. And then you laugh just a little. Yoongi smiles, too, and squeezes your elbow. Tee doesn’t say anything, but her head swivels back and forth to look at both of you.

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“No,” Namjoon says, shaking his head. It’s the third time he’s repeated it. “There’s no way. Not that I can figure, anyway.”

You nod. “Yoongi and I looked at their records. There’s no way they’re Imperial, unless they’re going to massive–improbable–lengths to hide it. And honestly I just can’t see the Empire putting up that much effort.”

“Unless they’re being purposefully disingenuous.” Commander Vela leans back in his seat, thick eyebrows pulled into a scowl. He twirls his mustache in thought. “I don’t think I need to remind you that we cannot afford to be wrong about this.”

Yoongi leans forward beside you, rests his elbows against the table in the war room. It’s empty, except for your little group and Vela. He steeples his fingers in front of his face, and you can tell he’s getting agitated from the hardness in his jaw. Part of you wants to let him speak. It might be fun to see him call Vela an idiot. But for decorum’s sake, you let him continue to stew.

“There’s zero evidence of that,” you say. “I can respect wanting to be safe, but I don’t want the rebellion to miss out on an opportunity for supplies–that we desperately need–because we were too cautious.”

Namjoon makes a noise of agreement. “By all accounts, Denebia is clean. And they just want to help.”

Vela stares, his eyes shifting from Seokjin in the corner, to Namjoon, to you, and to Yoongi. He rubs his chin, thinking, before finally he nods. “I’ll pass this information on to the General.” He clears his throat. “If there’s nothing else, you two are dismissed.” He nods at Seokjin and Namjoon.

For a brief moment, Namjoon pauses. You can sense that he’s unsure of what to do next. He makes eye contact with you, and after a second, he nods. They leave quietly.

Vela watches them go, waits until the door slides shut behind them before he says anything further. But then he leans forward again, hands clasped, forearms resting against the table, and he levels his gaze at you.

“I have a new assignment for the two of you.” He presses something on his data pad and the screen lights up. Two more taps, and both your and Yoongi’s pads beep. He’s sent you something. “Highly classified,” he continues. “It is of utmost importance that this information does not go beyond the two of you for now. I will fold the others in as necessary.”

You hum as you scan the information he’s sent you. It’s a travel ticket for a starliner. Apparently, you and Yoongi are going to a planet called Spira. You don’t know much about it other than that it’s a core world, but according to your datapad, it’s a vacation destination.

“We need you to go undercover,” Vela says, his voice low, as if he’s trying not to be overheard. “I’ll let you read the finer details, but there’s an Imperial captain vacationing with his wife. He has information that it is imperative that we know.”

“Such as?” Yoongi looks up from his own datapad, his gaze shifting from Commander Vela to you.

“We have gotten word that Commodore Radil Grafner is planning to assassinate Mon Mothma.” Vela says it like he’s telling you they’re serving bantha steak in the galley tonight.

You hum. Mon Mothma is, more than almost anyone else you can think of, the leader of the rebellion. It’s supposed to be led by council, a vestige of the fallen Republic that the Empire’s sham senate is supposed to emulate. Without Mon at the helm, there’s a good chance that the rebellion loses steam. There are others that would step up, you’re sure, but there’s something about Mon’s charisma, something about her leadership style that you know really bolsters people.

Your eyes meet Yoongi’s, and something unspoken passes between you.

“What do you need us to do?”

Your first step onto the sands of Spira, it’s clear that this planet is different. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but there’s something about the atmosphere that doesn’t match anywhere else you’ve been. Stepping off the transport, it’s almost like the very air is primed to make you relax. There’s a slight breeze, the fronds of the palm trees above creating a gentle, tranquil almost music. It’s loud–there’s clearly a lot of people on this island of the planet–but it’s not uncomfortable. Somewhere in the distance, you can hear the roar of the sea rushing against the sand.

Yoongi steps up beside you, setting down your bags and stretching his arms above his head. He groans a little–the trip on the starliner was long, and it was shockingly cramped, despite the fact that there weren’t too many people on the ship–and when his arms come back down, one of them falls around your shoulders. You jump a little, shocked, and you have to remind yourself to calm down.

You’re supposed to be married, you scold yourself. Act like it.

So you do. You lean a little into him as you inspect the island as it stretches out from the transport hub. It’s Yoongi’s turn to jump, but he relaxes almost immediately into it. You stand there for a moment, taking it all in. Above you, a sea bird squawks and dives down to scrounge at something on the ground.

Yoongi sighs. “Shall we?” He nods toward the main building further down the path.

This is insanity, your brain screams at you as you walk hand-in-hand with Yoongi. You watch everyone you pass, check for any sign that your cover is blown, that they don’t believe that you’re a happy couple on vacation from their totally normal lives. This is fucking insanity. There’s no way-

“Hi there!” The Twi’lek behind the check-in counter is cheerful. Her azure skin practically sparkles in the tropical air, and she has flowers and fronds braided around the lekku on her head. She looks at home here–when she smiles, it’s brilliant and genuine. You suppose it probably wouldn’t be too terrible to work in an endless paradise.

You transfer her your information from your datapad–a brand new one that doesn’t have rebellion information on it. And as she’s preparing your room information, you take a second to look around. The resort lobby is open-air. Off to your left is a path that leads down to the beach. There’s a bar and restaurant that look fancier than anywhere you’d been in your life. Beyond the bar, the path curves toward the bungalows and guest rooms. To your right, it’s just sand and ocean for as far as you can see. Under the canopy of the lobby, there’s a desk where, presumably, you could rent watercraft.

Your datapad dings and draws your attention back to the Twi’lek checking you in. Yoongi presses closer, chest against your back, to see what you’re being handed. She drops two plastic discs into your hand.

“These will let you into your room,” she says. “They’re proximity, so just keep them on you–in a pocket or wherever’s fine. Your datapad should have a map of the property on it, but there are also plenty of helper droids around that you can ask if you’re unsure of how to get somewhere.” She offers you a warm, toothy smile. “Shall I summon a droid to help you to your room, or would you like to explore?”

You glance to your left and make eye contact with Yoongi. The ends of his hair are starting to curl in the salty humidity. His eyes are bright. Paradise looks good on him.

“We’ll explore a little,” he says, his hand enveloping the one you’re holding the proximity keys with.

It’s a lie. You don’t really explore so much as you just look around on your way to your bungalow. You follow the path along the beach as it curves around and out of sight from the lobby. It’s hot, and the sun is blinding, but there’s a nice breeze, and there’s plenty of shade from the tall palms that line the path. The sand and water are busy but not packed, and the further you get from the main building, the less people you see. There are families playing games–throwing discs or hitting a ball back and forth over a net–and splashing each other in the water. A young couple chases each other through the water, laughing and yelling in delight.

And when you finally get to your bungalow, you’re shocked by how big it is. Yoongi sucks in an audible breath, and you can tell he’s thinking the same thing you are. How in the world did the rebellion pull this off? There’s a soft click as you cross the little wooden footbridge that connects the path and the bungalow. As promised, the door is unlocked when you reach it.

The bungalow is immaculate on the inside. You step first into the common room with its projection screen and large, plush sofa. The kitchen is attached, though with the restaurant and bar in the resort, and the others you know are on the property, you’re fairly certain it’s never been used except to store drinks. Floor to ceiling windows at the back of the main room look out over the water–no beach on this side, only endless sea–and the attached deck with its built-in jacuzzi. It’s all beautiful. Shocking. Extravagant. But beautiful. There’s only one issue.

There’s only one bed.

You’re not sure why it’s weird. Just that it is. You’ve definitely fallen asleep beside Yoongi before. Definitely when you were children, and less often but still several times during your teenage and young adult years. So it’s not like it’s new territory. But somehow, it is.

That, however, is a problem for future you. Current you is on a time crunch. Current you needs to figure out how to stop an assassination. So you plop yourself down on the oversized sofa and turn on your datapad–your actual datapad, the one with all of your information. Yoongi sits beside you, pressing close so he can read over your shoulder.

The man you’re looking for–Captain Alain Connoi–is around your age, with high cheekbones and intense eyes. His light hair is combed perfectly under his regulation Imperial hat. His uniform is crisp, his badges and awards polished and shiny.

There’s no chance he looks like this here. Everyone you’d seen since you’d landed on Spira was in casual clothes. Your notes say that Connoi is here on vacation with his wife. Which means he, too, will be dressed to relax.

Which means that you and Yoongi need to be dressed to relax.

It’s not that you necessarily aren’t. But you’re both from a cold planet–Fest had seasons but certainly no one would say that it was a warm place to live–and you’ve spent more time than you’d like to admit recently on icy planets and on cold ships in the vast nothingness of space. After a while, you just got used to dressing in layers. This place, though… this is not a ‘layers’ place.

Hours later, you’re hungry. And your eyes hurt a little bit from reading and re-reading your datapad. Yoongi apparently got bored a while ago, because he’s now sitting with his legs tucked up under himself, scrolling through his own datapad. He’s changed into something more appropriate for the warmer weather, and despite the fact that you’re inside and the aircon is humming in the corner, his hair has continued to curl in the salty air and the humidity. It looks nice, softens the scowl that he’s currently wearing as he stares down at the screen.

You watch him quietly as he frowns, his brows pressing even further together for the briefest of moments. He types something into his datapad and leans back slightly, presumably to read whatever he just wrote. A poem, your brain helpfully assumes. He sighs and leans back fully, running his hand through his hair. Finally, he notices that you’re watching. His face scrunches quickly, and he shoots you a confused look.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What?” He laughs a little.

“Nothing!” You shake your head. “You want to get dinner together tonight and then poke around on our own tomorrow?”

He stares at you for a long moment, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Eventually, though, he shakes his head. “It’ll be weird if we split up.”

“We can make up some excuse.”

“People will get suspicious. We should stick together most of the time.”

“But we cover more ground separately.”

“We’ll find him eventually,” Yoongi says sagely, stretching out and throwing his arm over the back of the sofa. “I don’t think splitting up is a good idea.”

You hum. It doesn’t actually matter, you suppose, and it might be more fun to explore with Yoongi. Certainly it would be easier to look around with two people–you’ll probably see more. So you concede with a shrug before reaching out your hand. “Hungry?”

The cantina–if you can even call it that–is really nice. Like, really nice. It’s huge, larger than almost any building you’ve ever seen. The academy back on Fest doesn’t hold a candle to it, and the garrisons and bases you’ve been on since you’ve been with the rebellion are garden sheds in comparison. The only thing that maybe–maybe–could stand up to it in sheer size is the Imperial outpost on Fest, which really was more of a complex than a single building. But even that doesn’t compare to just how beautiful the cantina is. It’s all natural woods and stone, as opposed to the harsh, brutalistic concrete and steel of your homeworld. It’s more purposeful and permanent than the rebellion bases you’ve been on.

You have to restrain yourself from stopping to marvel at it when you walk in.

It’s open-air, so not only is there a gentle sea breeze blowing, but they’ve got large, palm-shaped fans circulating the air at the top of the enclosure. It’s cool under the roof. There are tables everywhere, and each one has a beautiful view of the water that surrounds the peninsula the resort sits on.

You stand beside Yoongi waiting to be seated. Your hand is in his and you’re huddled close. There are a few other couples and families milling around waiting for tables, so you don’t stand out, but you’re still terrified that, somehow, they know that you’re faking it. You’ve never been this un-confident in your abilities before. But there’s something different about this mission. You can’t quite put your finger on it. Maybe it’s that the stakes have never been higher–an attempt on Mon Mothma’s life is something that normally, the rebellion would be sending out their best for–but you aren’t quite sure that’s fully it.

Yoongi shifts, leaning over a bit to whisper in your ear. “What do you think of those two?” His words are a warm puff of air against your skin, and when he nods in the direction of a table near the bar, you can feel his hair brushing against your own.

The people he’s referring to are sitting practically side-by-side at the table, a platter of some sort of roasted meat between them. The woman is holding a half-full wine glass, but she’s more interested in the man beside her than she is the food or drink. And, to be fair, he’s fairly handsome. Blond hair falling in light waves to his temple, a muscular but slight build, high cheekbones. He’s in a beachy shirt, unbuttoned at the front and revealing a matching sleeveless shirt underneath.

You squint, shift a little to lean into Yoongi so it’s less obvious that you’re staring. There’s no way it’s this easy. And yet, when the man laughs at something the woman says, you’re sure.

That’s Alain Connoi.

You must make a face, because Yoongi laughs, his forehead bumping into your temple briefly. When you turn to look at him, your face is centimeters from his own.

“Change of plans?” he suggests, an eyebrow quirking in question.

“We can’t just let it go.” You turn together, and Yoongi makes a show of leaning in close as you exit the cantina. You’ll find somewhere to wait and follow Connoi and his wife. But god, part of you is disappointed.

The food looked really good.

There’s a bench outside by the water that you can see both of the entrances to the cantina from, so you sit down, prepared to wait. You scoot close to Yoongi, and almost instinctively, his arm comes up to wrap around your shoulders. For a while, you sit in silence, the only sounds coming from the cantina or the crashing of the waves. It’s nice, strange though it is, to get a break like this.

It doesn’t take long for Connoi and his wife to come out of the cantina. They’re happy, and clearly by the way they look at each other, they’re madly in love. It would be sweet, except for the fact that they are, at the very least, turning a blind eye to the suffering the Empire is causing across the galaxy, and at the most, complicit in it. The two laugh together as they walk down the path away from you, towards the lobby.

You follow. Close enough that you can see precisely where they’re going, but not so close that they’d mark you as following them. You walk casually, Yoongi’s arm slung over your shoulder. Quietly, he interprets what they’re saying.

“Numbers are up in the Imperial academy,” he whispers, voice forced deeper than what it is naturally. “We’ve run out of volunteers, so we’ve resorted to drafting the Gungans.” You snort out a laugh, and he continues. “The Emperor has decided that regular poverty is too rich for the planets in the outer rim, so we’re enacting a policy called advanced poverty.”

You can’t help it. “What’s the difference? A lifetime subscription?”

He hums in agreement. “And an iron-on patch. Looks great on canvas jackets.”

“Oh, how absolutely wonderful.” You pitch your voice higher and pat Yoongi’s chest. It takes a second, but you melt into a fit of giggles, leaning into each to keep yourselves upright.

Ahead, the Connois turn down a path that cuts down the beach, around the main structure of the lobby. You can hear music further down, and sure enough, when you get close enough, there’s a bar here with a few tall tables scattered around and a large, open dance floor. At the other end, there’s a stage–it’s not very large, maybe a foot or two off the ground and wide enough to hold the musicians and not much else. A dark-skinned woman stands at the front of the stage in front of a microphone, crooning some up-beat jazzy song that you can’t understand. The band behind her are playing instruments you’ve never seen before.

Connoi and his wife pick a table off to the side, so that’s where you go, too. You and Yoongi sidle up to the table directly beside them. They’re huddled together and don’t notice you, but you stick close to each other anyway. After a moment, Connoi hops off his chair, kisses his wife’s hair, and walks over to the bar. Yoongi gives it a second before squeezing your waist and following. You watch him go, watch as he approaches the bar just to the left of Connoi, watch as he leans against the bar with a practiced casualness.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” The voice from your right startles you. When you look, Connoi’s wife is looking at you expectantly.

“Even more than I was expecting,” you answer truthfully. The holophotos Vela had sent you didn’t do the resort justice.

She stands and scoots her tall chair a little closer to you. The music is loud. She probably wants to hear you better. But a little part of you gets nervous anyway. “My husband and I come here every few years. It’s just so relaxing to get away.”

“I don’t know that I’ve ever been on vacation, let alone one like this,” you admit with a laugh. “I’m not really sure what to do with myself.”

“Oh, I remember our first time here. It was our honeymoon.” She smiles gently. “You two seem to be having fun, though.”

“He makes it easy.” You say it before even thinking about it. “He’s much more easy-going than I am.”

She laughs. “I totally get that. We’re the same way, I think. I’ve always got to have a schedule.”

The conversation lulls just as the band’s song ends. An enthusiastic round of applause erupts from the crowd on the dance floor. You clap politely, though if you’re honest, you couldn’t even say what the song sounded like.

“Where are you staying?” she asks when the next song starts up.

“Oh the bungalows.” You gesture in their general direction.

“Us too!” She offers you her hand. “I’m Lylla, by the way.”

“Allyxi.” Her grasp is firm as she shakes your hand.

Yoongi returns then, two identical drinks in hand. They’re certainly nothing you’ve ever tried before–a bubbling blue-green concoction in a tall, ribbed glass with a skewer of fruit stuck down in. Connoi sits, then, handing his wife a glass of what looks to be red wine.

“These came highly recommended,” Yoongi says, gesturing to the drinks and nodding toward Connoi.

You shoot him what you hope is a subtle look that says ‘what the fuck?’. Thankfully, Lylla starts talking.

“It’s their first time here,” she says, patting Connoi’s–Alain’s, you mentally correct yourself–arm.

“So I’ve heard.” His voice is deep, and you’re reminded of the voice Yoongi had put on to imitate him. You have to stop yourself from laughing.

Lylla gasps. “I have the best idea. Why don’t we all get breakfast tomorrow, and then Alain and I can show you around the resort a little bit? We’ve been here so many times, I’m sure there are some hidden gems we could introduce you to.”

You look to Yoongi and widen your eyes. There’s no way this is happening. There’s no way it’s this easy. There’s no way you can back out at this point, but every bone in your body is screaming that you’ve been made. You can see it in his eyes that he’s thinking the same thing. But despite everything, you plaster on a smile and turn back to Lylla. “Sounds fun!”

The Connois smile widely, and Alain opens his mouth to say something. But the song changes just then, and whatever he’s about to say is gone as he turns to his wife.

“I think this is our song,” he says lowly, leaning into her.

In a moment, they’re gone, swallowed by the crowd.

You sigh and lean back heavily into your chair. “We’re so dead.”

“So dead,” Yoongi agrees, taking a sip of his drink.

For a while, you don’t say anything. You just sit there at the table, sipping your drinks and watching the dance floor. The day here is much longer than you’re used to–the sun is low in the sky, and everything’s slowly turning orange, but it hasn’t yet set. At some point, you see the Connois leave the dance floor. They wave as they leave, presumably to return to their room. You don’t follow. There’s no point. You’re hanging out with them tomorrow. Willingly.

A couple more songs pass. You listen passively. Honestly, the singer isn’t half-bad. Her voice is raspy, but her range is phenomenal, and she’s got this sultry kind of stage presence that makes it hard to look away from her once you’ve started.

But then the music slows. And you’re sick of sitting there, thinking about your inevitable destruction at the hands of Alain Connoi. So without thinking, you take Yoongi’s hand.

“Dance with me?” As soon as it’s out of your mouth, you’re nervous. Something in you knows that if he were to say no, you’d be crushed.

He blinks slowly. “What?”

“Dance,” you repeat. “With me?”

“Oh, uh…” He downs the rest of his drink, and for the briefest of moments, something in you is hurt. But then he squeezes your hand. “Sure.”

You don’t stray too far onto the dance floor. Even though the song is slower and the dancers are much closer to their partners, it’s still a mass of bodies, and quite frankly, you don’t want to be in the middle of it.

Yoongi’s arm wraps around you, holding you close. His hand rests on your lower back, his other hand clasping yours close to his chest. Slowly, you sway to the beat of the song. You’re pretty sure you’ve heard this one before, in some cantina on some far-off planet. And for the first time possibly ever, you let yourself get lost in the moment.

You play with the wavy strands of hair at the base of his neck and he hums, head tilting so that his head is almost resting against yours. He’s warm, and there’s a slowly-growing tingly sensation spreading across your back from where his hand rests.

“Yoongi?” He hums, turning ever so slightly so that he can look at you, dark eyes sparkling in the slowly dying sunlight.

You never get to finish your thought. Before you can say anything, he’s leaning in. When his lips connect with yours, there’s no mistaking it for an accident. It’s purposeful, direct. You can taste the Corellian rum of his drink.

It’s over far too quickly. You’ve never tried spice, but if it’s anything like how you’re feeling now, you understand why people get addicted. It’s like lightning in your veins. His hand grips yours tightly, the other moving from your back to rest feather-light on your hip, your noses brush gently. Your arm is slung casually across his shoulders, keeping him close. Everywhere he touches, your skin is hot and tingly. The air around you is thicker, the salty-sweet of the oceans and the flowers dialed up to 11. Colors are brighter, more vibrant—have his eyes always been such a beautiful shade of honeyed oak, deep and dark and warm?

The shock has already worn off, but the electricity remains. And when you lean in again, ever so slightly, he meets you halfway, the barest hint of a smile on his chapped lips.

The band changes songs—an up-beat sort of jazz standard you’ve never heard—and the cerulean-skinned singer croons into the microphone, her voice sultry as she sings, language unknown. Someone close to the stage laughs a little too loudly. And just like that, the magic comes crashing down around you.

What have I done?

You can feel the blood rush to your face, can hear your heart pounding in your ears. You’re too warm, standing so close to him like this, and you take a step back. For a moment, Yoongi looks confused, but you don’t give yourself time to think about it. You turn and flee, leaving him there on the dance floor.

You don’t miss the hurt that crosses his face.

previous | masterlist | next

aaaahhhh! aaaahhhh? aaaahhhh!

so but like.... how we feeling? I'm so curious!!!

38 notes · View notes