#{ Ill work on drafts and answer asks later

[writers-potion]

Writing Mad Characters

Okay this is a bit awkward because I had this question copypasted into Google Docs I use to draft my answers, and I realized I've lost the question in my inbox (which is being flooded).

So...I'm so sorry for whoever asked this question. Sorry for the delay because I was struggling with life in general for the past month and definitely SORRY for losing your question (－‸ლ)

Q: I'm writing a story where a major character is slowly spiraling into madness where small details kinda hint into the downfall right before the bigger details appear and then it the floodgates open. Is there anything I should avoid? Anything that I should keep in mind? Anything that I should research?

Things to Avoid

“Mad” or “Insane” is too general. Writing a cliched ‘crazy’ character who randomly talks to imaginary people and lashes out at strangers, you’ll offend a whole bunch of people who've gone through/have mental illnesses. Read up on existing mental conditions (schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic disorder and borderline personality disorder, etc.) to see what your character might have. 

Words like “mad” “crazy” or “insane” aren’t enough when you’re describing their status. As mentioned, these words hardly mean much when it comes to providing a clear description.

Contradicting yourself. Throwing random unhinged symptoms here and there wouldn’t work. In fact, you must have a clear arc on which they’re traveling and ensure that your “hints” are all getting at something.

Making the character overly destructive or harmful to others (when nothing really justifies it)

Justifying damaging behavior with this “madness”. Mad or not, your character will still have motives and goals that drive them forward. 

Making them look incompetent just the fact that they have a mental condition that makes them appear “mad” to others shouldn’t prevent them from achieving success. In fact, they may be even more cool-hearted and logical when it comes to their obsessions/goals. 

Research Tips

Narrow down the mental conditions your character experiences. Even if it’s a fictional condition, try basing it on existing ones and building on top of them. 

Take some time to study characters and/or real clinical cases that resemble the kind of madness you’re going for. 

- Anxiety Disorders: excessive fear and dread (ex. phobias) - Mood Disorders: persistent swings in mood or persistent feelings that interfere with daily life (ex. Depression, bipolar) - Psychotic Disorders: disordered thinking (ex. schizophrenia) - Eating Disorders: extreme emotional attitudes toward food (ex. Bulimia, anorexia) - Impulse Disorders: unable to resist urges (ex. Kleptomania, pyromania, gambling) - Personality Disorders: extreme inflexible personality traits (ex. Anti-social disorder, OCPD) - Past Traumatic Stress: persistent, frightening memories leading to emotional numbness 

Does your character have empathy?  

A sociopathic kind of madness is different. 

General Writing Tips for Spiraling into Madness

Establish a Baseline 

A lot of factors (stress, family history, innate personality, trauma, etc.) can contribute to madness, but it is not going to happen in a week. Define the existing mental and physical conditions your character has, and start from there. 

If you’re aiming for suicidal tendencies at the end, you want to start with symptoms of depression (a condition that may lead to suicide) - growing apathetic, erratic sleeping patterns, irritability, etc. 

This is also the stage where you want to plant some triggers that’ll go off later.

Trigger Events

A perfectly sound character suddenly spiraling down the madness route due to a single accident or traumatizing event isn’t convincing. 

A madness “snap” denies the reader the experience of watching the character’s journey into madness and how they feel about it. 

Internal Conflict (antagonist in himself) 

You must remember that madness is incurable. If someone could “cure” themselves by eating healthy, exercising and taking a few pills, it wouldn’t be much of a madness, would it? This means that the worst antagonist is going to be the character themselves, or the part of them that’s been taken away. 

Show how they are frustrated with themselves, scared of themselves, angry at their “alternative self”. The experience of not knowing yourself is a whole journey of its own.

Physical Manifestations/Quirks

If your character has a routine, show how they break down. 

They might develop habits that they otherwise would never allow themselves to have, perhaps as an effort to “keep this madness out”

Deteriorating Relationships

Depict how the character’s madness impacts his closed/loved ones. In the earlier stages, those close to him might be faster to notice and accept the signs of madness, even if the character denies it him/herself.

The first signs of madness might show when the character is trying to deal with difficult relationships - like losing patience and being unable to pick up subtle social clues.

Choosing Obsessions Over Primal Urges 

For these characters, obsession can take over a person’s normal urge to eat, sleep or even live. This can lead to, more or less, suicide. 

Example: In Black Swan, Nina’s obsession with becoming the perfect ballerina drive her to insanity, to the point where she doesn't mind dying on stage for the show.

[wszczebrzyszynie]

For some reason i couldnt edit that answer (which is a problem considering i had first saved it in my drafts) so instead ill answer it in form of a post...

First, i just imagine space mining Grian to be a bit more serious than the normal one! That combined with intimidation factor. Maybe i should draw him smiling more. Thats really about it. Have a small Grian design exploration... they use all pronouns in the au

the main thing about Martyns plans and Grian disappearance situation is that Martyn actively didnt want to turn Grian in. The whole thing happens after their big space train robbery and so to the world Grian, Scar and Tango are considered a team, and to Martyn a package deal. He knows he can use Grian (who was on top of everything wounded) to get the other two quite easily, even if both Scar and Tango are considered extremely dangerous (which is true for Scar but couldnt be further from the truth in Tangos case... Martyn also believed that Tango was some respected dangerous criminal at first because thats the main joke), Martyn isnt really... scared of them, ultimately. He knows his chances. What he doesnt know is that Grian and one of the other earthians under Rens command, Bigb, got along very well very quick. This is very much the "earthian trust" ive mentioned in the last ask. So while Martyn plans to stage an an arrest to bait Scar to show up, Bigb (whos a former criminal himself working for Ren in the rehabilitation programme, same as Martyn) and Grian plan their escape. Martyn in the beginning underestimates the bonds people can form (himself believing he can leave Ren anytime he wants if it was in some way profitable for him to do so; whether thats true or not is another thing) a lot, which this situation makes him realize, giving him later the kidnapping Jimmy idea. But for now Bigbs betrayal is not something he anticipated and when he does its too late to do anything big. He still uses it to his benefit and tries to track Grian, hoping he would lead him to the other two, but he fails.

Ren had no idea about any of this, obviously. Not exactly because hes naive, hes well aware Martyn does things behind his back that are less than legal, but he... trusts Martyn to be loyal at the end of it. He firmly believes that no matter what Martyn does he would never end up betraying him, letting Martyn do what he wants and acting like hes unaware. If he knew he would not go with Martyns idea. With Bigb the situation is similar, except Ren doesnt think he would do anything even remotely similar to what Martyn does. Its definitely the more... normal kind of trust he has towards Bigb. Story structure wise, this is the first proper introduction to Martyn as a serious threat, as well as how centralized hunting works. Its a big operation far more exceeding whatever Tango has experienced before

And the last thing... this is far more lighthearted. They met at Jimmys; Scott, even with all the teasing, still cares enough about Jim to check up on him. He feels responsible for Jimmy because he knows Jimmy depends on him, without really caring about his troubles emotionally. Scott just thinks this is the right thing to do and therefore Jimmy is a focus of his (space mining Scott has low empathy. To me). The way Scott views Jimmy definitely plays a huge role in that but his intentions arent out of cruelty. And Tango is practically homeless and sleeping either in his car or (temporarily) on Grian and Scars couch, which is something Jimmy cannot deal with, keeping him at his ranch for far longer than his other visitors. The earthian community focused living; even if its temporary, Tango lives with people Jimmy considers his family, so hes a friend too, meaning he will take care of him just as he does of Scar and Grian. As for how their first meeting went - bad! Scott is a very specific person and even if he isnt unkind, he has... a very strong presence in the room. Far more intimidating than even some bounty hunters Tango met. So while Tango is stressed out with Scott around, feeling like every conversation is a test hes failing, Scott... doesnt think anything specific about Tango. He doesnt think highly of him, thats for sure, but he also doesnt care all that much and is far more interested in the Jimmy side of things. All three ate dinner normally except Tango and Scott played a very pathetic game of 5d chess durning it and Jimmy, being used to how Scott is at all times, was unaware of it

[miuszn]

HII!! i love your writing sm, so i wanted to send in a request. I KNOW THIS IS SO CLICHÉ AND OVERDONE 😭😭 BUT could you possibly write a seven minutes in heaven scenario with ellie or abby. maybe reader n ellie/abby don’t really like each other, or they have tension ?? idk

seven minutes

SETTING : college / modern au

WC : 3120

WARNINGS : not beta read , fingering , cunnilingus ( r!recieving both ) , kinda vanilla again ( sorry ) , top!ellie , one-sided rivalry , intentional lowercase , this might kinda seem like dubcon but it’s not reader is just shy , english isn’t my first language and i’m not perfectly fluent so there might be mistakes ( lmk if there’s any )

A / N : hii everyone !! aaa im so glad i finally finished this 😭😭 i love these corny cliche scenarios soooo much but only when it’s w women otherwise it’s just so bleh . women do everything better so true !! anywhooo i hope u guys enjoy this and tysm for requesting this bc i wanted to write something like this but didnt think anyone would want it .. ALSO IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO INCLUDE ABBY WHEN I STARTED WRITING BC I SAVED THE ASK TO DRAFTS TO KEEP IT THERE N ONLY NOTICED NOW JFJDHDKDJ pls forgive me .. ill include ellie & abby tension over reader in the future i promise 🙏🙏

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

“dina, i’m not going.”

you had no idea how many times you told her this, but you weren’t planning on changing your mind. you had gone to a few parties here and there, sure, but it wasn’t really your thing. you enjoyed going to them every once in a while to go out and loosen up, get your mind off of stress, but that was it. you weren't particularly crazy about it at the same level of other people your age, not even as much as dina, who’s considered a more casual partygoer. you had given her some excuse about having a project to work on, but the truth was, that wasn’t your concern. in fact, you didn’t have a project to work on at all. you made it all up. you even considered going to that party when dina first told you about it, but a few days later you overheard some classmates talk about how ellie williams out of all people would be going.

ellie ellie ellie. she drive you nuts for all the wrong reasons. you could tell she disliked you from the start, which that in itself made you dislike her as well. you wondered what you could’ve possibly done to anger her. but your dislike for her only grew when you realized just how irresponsible she was. she slept in, often came hungover to class, and yet she still scored the highest. even higher than you. and that really set you off. you had been an overachiever all your life, and all of a sudden some loser who doesn’t even put any effort into anything is beating you at everything. but most of all, it intrigued you a little more than it did anger you. you wished you could take a peek into her brain and see how the hell she managed to do it. your first thought was she copied answers off of people. seemed the most logical, right? but she was scoring the highest. how the hell could she score higher than anyone that she could even copy off of? hell, she even answered open-ended questions more detailed and well-written than you did. it didn’t make any sense. that’s the worst part of it all. you couldn’t even come up with a logical explanation as to how she could even do this.

little did you know, though, she was completely aware of your one-sided rivalry, and she found it adorable. she never tried to compete with you, but she thought it was hilarious watching you try so hard to compete with her. the first time she saw you, she was immediately drawn to you. your spotless image, valedictorian from your high school who had a perfect gpa and perfect test scores. you were perfect. but she wanted to see you crack. she wanted to see what was under all those layers (both figuratively and literally) and see what you were truly like. she knew you seeing her put in no effort into school yet still doing better than you would anger you. that’s exactly what she wanted. sure, she was in a way getting you to hate her, but it was a risk she was willing to take just to get a reaction out of you. and little did you know, you were attracted to her. and she was aware.

“come on, i don’t know why you’re acting like this all of a sudden,” dina whined. “you said you’d come along when i first told you about it.”

“i said i’d think about it,” you corrected her. “i’m just not really feeling it. besides i already told you i have this project to work on.”

“what’s it for?”

“it’s, uh..” you tried to come up with a lie on the spot. “it’s for calculus.”

“no way, we have a project in that class?” she asked, surprised, “i can’t believe i had no idea! when is it due?”

shit. you forgot you had that class with her.

“it’s for tomorrow, i think..” you kept going along with your lie.

“bullshit,” she laughed, “if we really had a project due tomorrow you would already have it done. and there’s no way i’d miss a project for that class!”

“fine,” you sighed, “i just needed an excuse so you’d leave me alone. but i really don’t want to go.”

“nope, because you lied you have to come.”

“why?!”

“because it’s fair!” she said, “besides, you definitely owe me one for going to that stupid concert with you the other day.”

you rolled your eyes. “you said you enjoyed it.”

“yeah, well, i lied. do you seriously think i’d ever like-“

“alright that’s enough!” you sighed. “i’ll go. but we are leaving early that night”

“deal.”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

“dinaaa, hurry up!” you knocked on the bathroom door. the main downside of sharing an apartment with your best friend was the fact she took forever to get out of the bathroom. you both decided it would be a good idea, you found a nice complex near campus and the rent was almost the same as a dorm room, so it was a no-brainer.

“five minutes!” she yelled back. five minutes my ass, you thought. at least this time you thought ahead of time and got in there before her. your outfit wasn’t anything fancy, of course, but you still wanted to dress cute. you had a black tube mini-skirt and white baby tee, just something you threw on that was comfortable but still looked alright. you had struggled a little to decide what to wear, you didn’t want to stand out too much but you still for some reason wanted to impress ellie deep down. you just brushed this off as an unwanted thought and ignored it, but it continued to linger in your mind. why do i even care what she thinks of me? you asked yourself.

about fifteen minutes later, dina finally came out of the bathroom.

“you said five”

“well, i still look good, don’t i?” she jokingly posed.

“yeah, yeah, whatever. let’s get going.”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

if there was one thing you could absolutely not stand about house parties, it was the stench inside the house. god was it awful. half of these people were frat boys who didn’t know what deodorant was and had been sweaty all night, and all this mixed with the smell of alcohol just made matters worse. most of the people were inside the house enjoying the music and the drinks, but you simply hung outside with dina chatting while drinking out of those cliche red cups you see in movies. you really couldn’t wait to get out of there, but yet again, that little voice in the back of your head made you think about ellie. you thought it was good you didn’t see her, but at the same time, you wanted to see her. it was a strange feeling. you couldn’t tell if it was curiosity, intrusive thoughts, or attraction. whatever it was, there was no way it was the last option.

about an hour passed and you were starting to get bored. just as you were about to suggest to dina you leave, a group of 8-ish people came out of the house to the backyard. among them was ellie. the moment you saw her you realized just how attractive she is. you had never looked at her enough to tell, but now it was evident. now you were even more confused. but you simply told yourself you can think she’s attractive and not be attracted to her.

you were so lost in thought you didn’t even realize one of the guys was talking to you and dina had to hit you on the shoulder to get your attention.

“is this chick high or something?” one of them laughed.

“uh- no- sorry. just kinda pensive.” you tried your hardest to avoid eye contact with ellie, and luckily this time you managed to do so. it just would’ve made things way more awkward.

“anyway-“ one of the guys started. “we were thinking since none of us wanna be with those people inside the house, we could just do something else to have fun.”

“what’re you thinking?” dina asked.

“7 minutes in heaven.”

you and dina were both a little stunned. you would’ve thought about some other thing, but you decided to go along with it anyway. not like anything could go wrong.

you all sat in a circle, and one of them began explaining the rules.

“simple, you spin the bottle, whoever it lands on, you have to go in the shed for 7 minutes and do any romantic or sexual act. kissing, making out, having sex even. but there has to be some proof you did something. if you didn’t do anything in the 7 minutes or refused to do anything in the first place, you take a shot. everyone got it?”

everyone nodded, and the game began. most people took a shot, about half an hour of the game went by and not a single person had gone into the shed. you landed on a few of the guys and vice versa, and while most of them were totally down to go in the shed with you, you most definitely weren’t. you weren’t sure if it was just you imagining things, but you felt you saw the slightest bit of anger and jealousy in ellie’s eyes anytime the bottle landed on you and the guys wanted to go in the shed with you, and she was relieved any time you took a shot. you found it strange. why did it matter to her? but you were sure you were just making things up.

you were starting to feel more and more tipsy from the drinks, standing on the line between drunk and sober. you were self-aware enough to tell yourself to not have any more drinks. one more spin, you told yourself. that was it. you spun the bottle, and surprise surprise, it landed on none other than ellie herself.

there was an awkward silence for a moment. you didn’t know what to do. it would be super awkward if either one of you accepted and the other declined.

one of the guys broke the silence first. “sooo.. are y’all going in the shed or not?”

“depends on her.” ellie smirked.

your face got a little hot. a soft red tinted your cheeks and you nodded, accepting in the heat of the moment. you were sure it was just your drunk mind making the decisions for you, but it wasn’t. you were very aware of the decision you had just made. but it hadn’t hit you yet. not until she walked behind you into the shed and shut the door.

“didn’t think you were into me like that,” ellie broke the silence. “i always thought you hated me or somethin’.”

you didn’t really know what to say. you mumbled some nonsense trying to come up with something fast.

“do i make you nervous?” she asked.

“sort of..” you were able to respond.

“ohh, i see,” she interrupted. “you just pretended to hate me for whatever reason.”

“no!” you protested. “i wasn’t pretending- i mean, i don’t hate you, it’s just. ugh.”

you gave up on trying to explain yourself when you realized just how childish and irrational you acted. seriously, disliking someone for outperforming you at your big age? the more you thought about it, the more embarassed you were about it. was it the alcohol doing this to you? it was all so confusing.

“why’d you accept to come into the shed with me?”

you didn’t respond, just shrugged. you didn’t know. you must’ve woken up on the wrong side of bed or something. you were acting very irrational today, and it’s like someone else was making decisions for you.

you didn’t realize she had pretty much backed you against one of the walls of the small room until now. this feeling, that you couldn’t quite put a name on, was so sudden and so foreign. did you have feelings for her that you had just been pushing away all this time because of jealousy? if not, what the hell was it?

her hand wandered up your skirt, stopping right before reaching your cunt. she looked up at you as if asking for approval, and although you hesitated for a moment, it’s as if your body made the decision for you and you nodded.

she didn’t waste any time and dipped her hand in your panties, rubbing circles on your clit to tease you, causing you to whimper and moan softly.

“so classy and put together whenever i see you, but look at you right now,” she teased. “no one would ever think you’d be whimpering for me like this.”

you blushed and looked away in embarrassment. you didn’t get why that made you blush. so many thoughts were racing through your head, so many conflicting feelings. yet you didn’t try to pull away, even though you had many opportunities to do so.

her touches weren’t enough and you were starting to get desperate, causing you to lightly buck your hips back and forth trying to feel her more.

“oh? someone’s desperate,” she chuckled. “alright, princess, i’ll give you what you want.”

you weren’t sure what she meant by that or what she was planning to do, but, for whatever reason, you trusted her.

she pulled her hand out of your panties, making you whine at the lack of contact.

“don’t worry, baby,” she said, getting down on her knees, her face at the level of your cunt. “i’ll take care of you real good.”

she started pulling down your panties and threw them somewhere on the floor, motioning you to put your leg on her shoulder. you seemed hesitant, thinking your leg might be kind of heavy for her to support on her shoulder. but she assured you it’d be fine.

her mouth was now millimeters away from your cunt. “if it’s too much, tell me to stop.” she looked up at you. you nodded, a little scared, but you still wanted to trust her.

she gave a long lick along your slit to tease you, making you gasp from the contact. she started mercilessly licking and sucking on your clit a little more intensely than you’d like her to, but at the same time, you liked it. you couldn’t tell her to stop. whimpers and moans came out of your mouth, being all that could be heard inside the small room aside from the wet sounds of ellie’s mouth on your cunt. you struggled more and more each second to stand as your legs wobbled and trembled from the sensation. she slid a finger inside you with ease, thrusting it in and out of you at a rapid pace which made you struggle to contain your moans that you started trying so hard to conceal since they only kept getting louder and louder. you had only been in that shed for about 6 minutes, but you were already about to reach your climax. and ellie was aware of this. she sped up her pace a little more, slurping up your juices like it was nothing.

after a moment, she lifted your leg from her shoulder and held your arm while getting up to make sure you could stabilize your footing.

“you okay?”

you nodded, and suddenly you realized what had just happened. ellie williams ate you out. you let the girl you swore you hated so bad eat you out, and you enjoyed it. you didn’t know what was the most shocking; that she didn’t hate you too, that she was even attracted to you, that she wanted to eat you out, or that you just let her. you weren’t sure wether you regretted it or not.

“what, you’re surprised you liked it or something?” she laughed, as if she had read your mind.

you felt your cheeks tint a slight red, and looked away in embarrassment, confirming she was right.

“shut up.” you rolled your eyes, turning to leave, but she grabbed your arm and stopped you.

“listen,” she looked into your eyes. “if you want, we can just forget about this. we don’t have to tell ‘em what happened.”

you nodded, and you both awkwardly walked back to the circle.

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

when you sat back down, dina looked you up and down and giggled.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” you whispered to her.

“you think we’re dumb?” she giggled. “there’s a reason neither of you had to take a shot. like for example, your messy hair.”

you realized it was obvious, and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole right there. you had a lot of different feelings about what just happened, but the main one was embarrassment. it would’ve been one thing if it happened and you didn’t like it, but the fact that you enjoyed it was humiliating. not only did you like it, but you wanted more. you started to take a liking to her, and you hated that.

after about 15 more minutes, everyone got tired of the game and decided to end it. you and dina decided to just go home now, although it was a little early, since you hadn’t been enjoying yourselves much.

as you waited on the front lawn of the house for your uber to get there, you heard a voice calling from behind.

“dina!”

you both turned around and surprise surprise, it was ellie.

“what is it?”

“can i talk to your friend real quick?”

you and dina looked at each other, and you sighed and decided to talk to her. you thought it’ll be quick, and if anything, when the uber arrives you can use it as your get out of jail free card.

you walked over to her and she seemed to be abnormally tense.

“i just, uh. i wanted to ask if you were fine after all that.” she mumbled with a genuine expression on her face.

“ellie, it’s fine.” you sighed.

“are you sure?”

“yes, don’t worry about it. seriously.”

you thought that was it, but she clearly had something else on her mind.

“ellie, spit it out.”

“well, also,” she looked up at you, “i wanted to ask you for your number. i don’t think i’ve ever actually talked to you aside from today.”

you chuckled in disbelief at the audacity this girl had. clearly she knew you’d say no, and just wanted to rile you up. but you wouldn't give her that satisfaction, so you dropped the expression immediately and instead had a calm look on your face.

“maybe some other time, babe”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

A / N : u guys know i don’t rlly like adding notes at the end of my fics but i felt i must clarify the last sentence isn’t reader having a complete 180 change of personality all of a sudden rather just acting different than she was right before leaving to sort of leave ellie stunned if that makes sense but i didn’t know how to end it and clarify that eheh also i might make a part 2 of this after i finish my next fic and the part 2 to my other fic if u guys want it <3 also ONCE AGAIN english is not my first language i’m not completely fluent yet and i write as a way to practice ++ i don’t have a beta reader sooo if u guys find mistakes PLEASE let me know !! thx for reading <33

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Overheard AU.

This is a very rough draft of an AU I wrote ages ago but haven't polished. Thought I might post it to see thoughts.

Summary: You really shouldn't talk about secrets in an open area like the street.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

It starts with Tanaka Jin. He’s nothing special. He’s just a man with a sick child who is a fan of All Might. He’s lost his job and he’s struggling to find a new one when he barely has any worthwhile skills. He has a license for Quirk use given he can’t turn his off, but most are weirded out by his ability to be able to tell exactly what you want to eat.

He’s nothing special and when he sees All Might saving a kid from a villain made of sludge he stops to point his camera at the man. When he sees the hero run off, he follows. He wants his son to be happy, stuck in the hospital all day. Maybe a picture or video of the man a little closer will take his son’s mind off the bills the boy knows is piling up.

What he finds is All Might deflating and revealing a secret to a young boy.

He gets it on film.

Tanaka isn’t a bad man. He’s nothing special

But he’s a desperate man.

He would delete the video but he thinks of his son in the hospital, ill and not getting better. He thinks of the fact he lost his job. He thinks of his dead wife. He thinks of the fact the bills are getting higher and the fact he has very little in savings.

He’s not a bad man. Just desperate.

Later it’s what prevents him from being punished with more than probation.

-0-

The news doesn’t run the video for a week. They want to check and double-check it, make sure it’s real.

It is and it runs on a Friday morning.

All Might learns about it when his PR agent blows up his phone, screaming. He watches it as his agent rants.

“I need to go.” He tells her and she stops.

“It’s true isn’t it.”

He doesn’t answer, just hangs up and runs.

His agent, a young woman named Akiko who refuses to use her last name and has a Quirk that has her gain energy from the sun, swears. Loudly and colorfully in seven different languages before she grabs her laptop.

Fuck you Yagi, she thinks before she throws herself into work.

Meanwhile, Izuku and his mother stare at the TV. It’s a day off of school thanks to a villain attack- though online schooling was there as was common for those incidents- and Izuku had just returned from his run when the video played.

His mother watches and then turns to him. He stared at her.

“... I believe in you.” She says and she means it even as her heart screams and her worries fill her. She believes in him. She knows he wants to be a hero, knows he’d claw and climb his way to it and she knows he’ll be hurt.

A Quirk will help him.

Izuku breaks down in his mother’s arms as she hugs him.

Toshinori shows up and knocks on the door while Izuku begins a light workout, worried about the media. Inko lets him in and they sit down to speak, all three.

The secret is out and Inko prepares for a press conference with Akiko while Toshinori calms Izuku and promises he won’t change his mind even if others offer.

It’s the start of a future with the two women threatening the men in their lives, while the men leave the women to their plotting.

It’s safer that way.

-0-

The press conference takes place a week and two days after the video is released. All Might stands there with Izuku by his side, both dressed nicely.

All Might deflates a minute in and listens to the yelling.

“Please, calm down,” he asks and they listen, waiting. “It is true. My Quirk is known as One for All and is able to be passed from holder to holder as a sacred torch. And yes, I am going to be passing it down due to an injury that has severely limited me these past years.” Izuku is shaking beside him but manages to give a small smile to the crowd. “Young Midoriya Izuku is my chosen successor and has started his training already.”

“What’s his original Quirk?!” Shouts a voice and Toshinori makes a choice. It wasn’t bad when he was young but he’s heard things, seen how other pros wrinkle their noses and make comments, he’s seen the rise in statistics.

He doesn’t know but he’s aware.

“Like I am, Midoriya is biologically Quirkless.” He speaks and he sees the young boy turn to stare while everyone falls silent. “Due to this, we need to do a very hard workout for him to be able to earn the Quirk before the entrance exams.” He continued, ignoring the questions as he gave a small overview of his Quirk, admitting it also stockpiled Quirks and that was why he could hover for long periods of time. He spoke fondly of his mentor before he finally opened the floor to questions.

“Why chose Midoriya? Is it due to your shared origins?” Asks one.

“I chose him due to him showing me what it means to be a hero again. He inspired me to push beyond my time limit to save someone and I knew I had found my successor in a young teen who would run to help someone no matter what.” Vague and simple.

“Midoriya, what do you think of this?”

“... uh it’s a dream come true. I’ve always admired All Might and training with him is amazing.” Young Midoriya says and Toshinori smiles at him before the questions continue.

“All Might! Why not give it to someone with a Quirk?” Toshinori wants to growl. He wants to glare.

Instead, he lets Midoriya speak.

“Well as he said it can also potentially stockpile Quirks to. It makes sense to occasionally have a Quirkless successor to keep them low. Too many can potentially destroy a body due to the unstable factor of the Quirks.” Midoriya offers.

“Are you worried about Quirk Singularity?” Asks another paper. Midoriya perks up so Toshinori lets him continue.

“Oh! Well potentially? It makes sense but that’s just one theory and while it is possible that Quirks are outgrowing humans, human adaptability means that most likely we will create things to help us. Most likely support gear or the such. Though there is also the Wave Theory that shows some promise but then if that happens we don’t need to worry about to many Quirks stockpiling.”

“Wave Theory?” Asks a few reporters. Izuku blinks and then continues.

“The Wave Theory was proposed a few years back. Basically, the idea is that various myths, legends, and folklore are actually signs of Quirks. A scientist proposed the Wave Theory as a theory in which every few hundred or so years humans gain powers for a period of time before they vanish.” Midoriya explains. “It makes sense when you look at it. Magic and accusations of witchcraft could have been Quirks, while various sightings of dragons, elves and so on could have been mutations…”

“... why has this theory never been known before?!?” Asks a reporter who has pulled out a different notebook to write this down. Midoriya’s face falls.

“The one who did the research and created the theory was a Quirkless scientist who was murdered. No effort to find her killer was ever found and because she was Quirkless her research was never believed.” Midoriya says bluntly. Silence fills the room. “Her name was Dr. Kennedy Johnson and she was American.”

The conference ends on a quiet note. Toshinori can see their eyes.

They’re thinking statistics themselves.

He places a hand on Midoriya’s shoulders and the boy smiles at him.

He smiles back.

-0-

At UA, a teacher without a class watches the conference and sighs.

“You want me to help?” He asks his boss and the white rodent laughs.

“Oh yes. He needs a helping hand I think.” Aizawa Shouta groans but smirks to himself.

This could be interesting.

-0-

Now that the secret was out, now that people spoke about it to each other, heroes began picking up patrols. They made sure to be seen, made sure to do their job.

Some so they could rise in the ranks. Some because a part of them looks at All Might with a hole in his side and still working to his limit and feel guilt.

A few because they recognize that boy and feel guilt as well.

One because he’s angry and bitter and hates the fact that he will never beat All Might now. That everything was for nothing and that he had done what he’d done for nothing.

But they patrol. And some make sure to swing by where the tiny successor goes to school and lives, to keep him safe.

The police do too. They watch and keep an eye out. This boy will receive a Quirk bigger than him. He’s a successor to an empire. He cannot fall.

Teachers at Izuku’s school begin treating him differently. They try to win his favour. Izuku ignores it, not caring.

It’s only now they care? Only now they want him to like them?

He gets angry and rants to his mom, rants to All Might about it, and both promise to come down hard on Aldera. Just not yet. Izuku is too busy, too focused. He can’t have a scandal now.

Pity he won’t get a choice.

-0-

Bullies don’t go away because someone becomes popular. Some do but others, others angry that the Quirkless freak, the Quirkless waste of space is getting a Quirk, getting what they should have…

They don’t.

They plan it out, and approach Bakugou Katsuki for help.

Katsuki is an angry child. He’s angry and bitter and he’s got a complex about being the best. He has to be the best. Deku, stupid Deku, has always looked down on him he knows this-

He ignores the whispers he’s an idiot and he had fallen from a high spot and of course someone would check on him-

He doesn’t think, not really. In another life he would throw himself at a boy his first day of school, risking it all. In another life he would ignore orders not to use gauntlets that could kill during an exercise because he thinks Deku looks down upon him. In another life he would push and push and force himself into something because he wants to know the secret. All his life consequences have missed him due to his Quirk, due to the fact no one cares about the Quirkless boy. Katsuki is a genius, but he is still a boy confined by his own thoughts and beliefs.

Is it any surprise he joins a plan to beat down Deku? Any surprise he wants Deku to know his place?

They corner Deku after school, right behind it. A teacher sees but looks away. They agree with the boys. Others deserve it more.

The groups only can do a bit of damage before a grey scarf is tanking them away, as wood grabs them and as a voice shouts.

“Don’t you move, I’m going to be looking into why a teacher let this happen.”

Aizawa looks down at the young boy and sees another in his place and knows in his bones that he won’t let this kid fail, even as he drags away the boys, grabbing the teacher who looks pale.

He will make sure this kid succeeds.

No one notices the reporter until the next day when the papers scream:

ALL MIGHT’S SUCCESSOR BEATEN WHILE TEACHER WATCHES.

It’s a storm and a half. Aldera is torn apart and every way they had treated Izuku is released by the young secretary who had cared for him and tried to help.

People are asked opinions and heroes glare at the school. They snarl out opinions and spit out their thoughts. UA releases a statement they will help with the lawyers if needed as does a hundred different schools. Some offer to have Izuku complete his final year with them.

It’s a mess. More so when Endeavour speaks.

“Endeavour!” One reporter manages to corner him. “What are your thoughts on the Aldera situation?”

“... one of my sons is Quirkless. The entire reason he is homeschooled is to prevent things like Aldera from happening to him.” Endeavour spits out. “Places like Aldera are cesspools.”

“Why didn’t anyone know about this?” Asks the reporter. “Why hide your-“

“My wife wanted to.” Endeavour snaps. “If you want I can release the videos of our discussions about it. My wife is mentally unwell and struggled with the idea of a Quirkless child. She loves him dearly but…” he sighs. “I have no care but due to her place in a mental institution I have kept silent so it would not set her back. With all this going on though I am speaking out about it. Being a bigot is disgusting.” It’s all he says and he leaves, unaware of the fact his children had watched and now are ripping things apart in confusion, only one knowing anything and looking at her brothers in worry.

Another watches and bares his teeth in anger.

But for Izuku the words of a pro hero known to be a traditionalist, known to be a jerk, known to be unpleasant… his words affect everyone too. If Endeavour thinks it’s disgusting…

Then he knows they truly are wrong. Everyone.

-0-

“He wasn’t the worst.” Izuku speaks. He’s sitting in a courtroom, a day off from his training to participate in the lawsuit. It had suddenly been put in court fast. Very fast but given that All Might’s successor was involved, was it any wonder. “Kaa… Bakugou wasn’t the worst.”

“Oh?” Asks the lawyer presenting the schools. “According to the teachers he-“

“He was the most verbal.” Izuku agreed, cutting him off. “He was the most verbal. But I’ve only known him to use his Quirk twice on me. Every other student did it often.” Izuku stands to show off his arms, detail a kid with spikes who would lean in to close on purpose in front of the teacher, speaking of one of Bakugou’s friends with long fingers who would shove them down his throat to choke him out. Bakugou would beat him up but rarely use his Quirk- not after he had been scolded harshly for using explosives on others. “I remember one time a student put spider lilies on my desk and a teacher pulled out a vase. Bakugou grabbed both and exploded them.”

“Sources say he told you to jump off a roof and pray for a Quirk in the next life,” the lawyer presses.

“And a teacher put a knife on my desk after a Quirkless girl slit her wrists,” Izuku says and the lawyer stops, stares and turns. Said teacher has gone very pale in the crowd.

Izuku is only kind of amused when the lawyer right there resigns, stating there is a limit and they crossed it, agreeing to take any penalties offered.

It’s a pretty clear victory for Izuku and his side, and they walk out without a backward glance.

As well, Izuku had managed to get something for Ka… Bakugou.

His mom told him that she didn’t think he should keep using his nickname and Izuku had to agree. It had stopped being a friendly thing years before and holding on did no good- not after he decided to beat him up simply for getting a possible Quirk.

Bakugou would be allowed to attend a hero school under probation. If he attends UA with Izuku they would not be allowed in the same class or be allowed to fight against each other. He would be monitored.

It’s enough. Izuku hopes it’s enough.

Meanwhile, the hero who had helped him during the beating is still around. He’s Eraserhead and Izuku is so excited to meet him.

He’s the one who comes up with a plan for schooling. Izuku is homeschooled now and spends most days on the beach. Eraserhead is often with him shouting out lessons or using the trash to teach. Sometimes other heroes come by to help.

Izuku is taught by a variety of heroes as he works and he finds himself thriving where before he would not.

“It takes a village,” he overhears his mother say to Eraserhead. “Thank you all.”

“He’s a good kid from what we’ve seen. He’s inheriting a big legacy.”

“Yes. Yes, he is.”

-0-

Izuku is given the hair the day of the regular exam- though he’s not taking it. That had been discussed with Nezu, Eraserhead, Yagi and multiple others who all agreed he would need more training before using his Quirk. Instead, he was to take the recommendation exam- which was a giant race through an obstacle field. He wouldn’t need a Quirk, just his mind for that.

He takes the hair and swallows, making a face. It’s just him and All Might, the others having agreed not to show up.

“I’m proud of you,” Yagi tells him. “You’ve come far.” Izuku hums and looks over the beach, cleaned and clear.

“...Thanks All Might,” he tells his hero. The man laughs.

“Nothing of it young Midoriya.”

Izuku will go to UA as the successor of All Might.

He wonders what the world had in store for him.

[canyouiimagine]

Showed Me | CS55 x Black!Reader (draft)

A/N: This is just a draft but I wanted to know if you guys like the use of I or You better 👩🏾‍💻 👉🏾👈🏾

I'm also planning on making this a series so, yeah 💖

Warnings: cursing, mean reader, mentions of cheating. (idk how to do this 😭)

Carlos Sainz was an asshole. 

I knew it, she knew it, everybody knew it. 

It wasn’t even like the man looked like an angel. Carlos looked the part and his actions told it all. He was selfish and narcissistic, but he was also charming, and that’s how he got away with everything.

Y/BF/N had met him at a party a year ago in Ibiza. It was love at first sight she told me. He had saved her from a guy who was harassing her and stayed with her afterward to make sure she was okay. He eventually drove her home not expecting anything in return and gave her his number in case she needed anything. Shortly after, they started dating. 

To her, was sweet and caring. He flew her out places, bought her expecting gifts, and gave her his time whenever he could. But being an F1 driver, they were apart a lot. Sure, he would fly her out but it was different. They were in a secret relationship, something that he had managed to convince her she wanted, and so even when in the same city, the time they could spend together was limited. 

To me, he was a prick who had convinced my friend that it would be better to keep their relationship a secret so he could feed her crumbs and use it as an excuse.

Carlos being an F1 driver, they were apart a lot. Sure she would sometimes attend the races - she was a software engineer and worked remotely so she could accommodate - but they couldn't even interact in public. They spent their time loving each other in secret. It was hard but worth it. Or so she thought. 

After a year of dating that’s when she saw it. A girl had posted a picture at his house. She didn’t tag him or add the location but she didn’t need to for my friend to know. Of course she would recognize the house she spent half of her time in anywhere! Though she tried to reassure herself at first, after scrolling through the pictures she resigned herself. He had been cheating on her the entire time. There were pictures upon pictures of her at the same places she had been flown to, to meet up with her boyfriend. Hotels and homes they stayed at. And all with a week or sometimes even just hours she presumed of difference!

She didn’t even know who was the side chick, was it her or the other girl? Had he met the both of them at the same time? Were there other girls? 

She cried on the phone explaining everything to me and I couldn’t resist the urge to say -

“I told you so.”

“Y/N! You’re supposed to be supportive! I gave him one year of my life. One year!” She cried out to me. 

“I’m sorry…” And I really was. Y/BF/N was emotional. She was the type to wear her heart on her sleeve. She wouldn’t think ill of somebody until they did something bad to her, that’s why all of our warnings fell silent to her ears. 

“He wasn’t a bad boyfriend. There was no way I could have suspected this.” She lamented. What she said was half true. He was a good boyfriend, always treated her very well but his actions were suspicious on more than one occasion. 

For instance, they had this “ritual” if you will. They would call each other every night to talk about their day and whatnot. But sometimes he wouldn’t answer the phone and tell her he was busy with work but could be seen partying with girls later in the media. She would ask him about and he would say it was for business and he couldn’t say no because then they would suspect something and he wanted to protect her. 

That was always his excuse.

“We can’t let him get away with this! We-” She said, all sadness gone from her face. 

“We?” I asked, cutting her off. I didn’t remember this being a ‘we’ problem. 

She glared at me and resumed what she was saying. “We -" she emphasized, "- have to make him pay!”. 

She looked at me expectingly and I sighed.“What do you have in mind?”

Hearing that, she grinned, looking at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Like I said, Y/BF/N was emotional. She wanted revenge and revenge was what I did best. 

[laprimera]

alrighty so after some reflection and getting some outside stuff prioritized Im done some blog housework so I can get comfortable here again.

im still gonna continue my hiatus until november cause the rest of October still has a lot of rl appointments and stuff going on. ill be nuking my ask and drafts to get into maximum turtle plot overdrive and just start things clean, but here's the skinny under cut:

. Ive went and cleaned up my followers list. mostly of inactive blogs, non-mutual or blogs that haven't reached out or interacted at all. I use to think I liked a busier dash but I think trying to keep up with it had been giving me anxiety even if my muses weren't involved in anything plot wise. FOMO has been really killing my vibe more then anything and I need to cut that habit out.

you're a-okay to refollow though! I'll do the same. none of this was done out of malice or a personal dislike, and I get being so busy w/ life and personal plots that you cant interact with everyone in a convenient moment. but if you see this as an opportunity to reach out then by all means! that and I might've accidentally unfollowed one or two of you cause side-blog deal, clumbsy thumbs, and uuh, dont mind me realizing that later down the line-my bad!

. unless carefully plotted otherwise, anything outside my own canons, affiliated blogs/mains or plots is no longer canon to my own. any interaction or thread initiated towards my muses will default fall into my lore/verse unless vice versa or its plotted and etc etc. It's no longer just hanging there in the void so to speak. I need to feel more in control of my own narrative I think and trying to puzzle a lot of contradicting outside plots, dash events, etc has been mentally taxing when rp shouldn't be occupying so much space or anxiety to begin with lol.

this isn't to say everything thats happening in the dash or w/ other characters isn't important ofc! and I still want to participate; it'll just fall under a crack/non-canon tag. if things end up lining up p' well with whats going on here then I might take it into canon. This is p' much what I've been doing to begin with, it's just more concrete now and Im being more careful of what Im willing to accept now. Im ofc open to discussing stuff! DMs and disco for those who have it are open always even if I take a moment to get to it!

. Im no longer answering anon asks that are personal in some way, ie, around subject matters that aren't general headcanons asks or 'hey how do you feel about-' sorta deal. I dont feel comfortable taking it to public and while I understand having the fear of being identified, it's not fair if I'm the only one bearing the subject so to speak. If you want to talk to me through DMs you can either tell me your UN (no burners either) so I can bypass permissions here to chat or you can reach me at @shiny-miltank where my IMs are not barred to mutuals only. I don't bite really! and my discord is not public. tbh Im still very anxious about being on disco to begin w/ cause social anxiety flare ups. idk tumblr dms always seemed easier to chat until I know you on a personal basis-its just worked that way.

. making it more strict that you dont? put my geeta in place of plots, events, etc that I havent participated or plotted with, nor can you make assumptions for them based on said events. as slapped on every piece on my about/rules/pinned/etc shes heavily canon-divergent to begin with so no one knows her intentions/actions (save for me ofc) and wont act in what presumed canon-geeta would do or your own version so to speak. easy enough to slap me an IM for "is it okay to-", plotting, or just make a nebulous npc stand-in.

. things that havent changed are the use of my lore and headcanons into your own! I love seeing it integrated or adapted into other lore and seeing just how much it inspires and changes over time!

this all seems rigid but really it's just reiterating whats already in my rules and no one here has been a huge offender at all :' ) this is more for me to follow and I cant thank everyone enough for their patience and creativity for as long as I've been here. Im loosey goosey and go with the flow 90 out of 100 times.

this goes for the rest of my muses, which Ill probably clean up when Im back-but yeah! miss ya'll! hope you've been doin' good! the terrapagos plot will continue then and Ill resume reaching out and leaving details! hopefully in time for dlc ; >

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

14 20 26 28 31 for the writing ask, please! 😊

Hahaha annnnd here are my replies, two months late lol

14. Write and share the first sentence of a new fic. Just that.

There's something uncanny about becoming the prey animal when, for so long, a man is used to being the hunter.

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?

I definitly am a multi-project person. I'll cycle through them, depending on what I'm in the mood to write.

For example, at the moment I've got:

What Makes a King pt. 2 (Eomer/Grima; Grima/His Internal Desire to be Lady Macbeth)

The Magi (original story - but it's Ficini/Cavalcanti)

A Discworld fic that's a meditation on illness, disability, and politics (Downey/vetinari)

Shardlake fic (Shardlake/Barak)

Napolington rework of Pale Before the Fall (what it says on the tin)

Elegy for those still breathing (Hastings/Poirot)

poetry manuscript

Lucieta (original story - prequal to the Venetians/House of No Return)

Letters (Downey/Vetinari - a new fic I'm working on with a friend)

annnd I think that's all for now.

26. What would you describe as OOC?

For Grima I've answered that Here :D

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

I'm not the best at sharing advice because I find everyone is so different that it's really just about figuring out what works for you and your style and what the story needs.

Also, what I have to say is all stuff that's been said before:

Write everything out first then edit. Just, word vomit all over the page then go back with the scalpel to edit and adjust.

Outlines can be as detailed or as high level as you need them to be.

Sometimes you just have to kill your darlings, sadly

Step away from a piece when you're done before going in to edit. Give yourself a solid break from it - that will lend some perspective to the editing process.

Not every scene needs to be written. We don't need to see the characters do everything - we can just jump to the next important part.

Be self-indulgent when writing, especially the first draft, even if you do end up removing portions of the self indulgence later. It's important because it gives you pleasure, keeps you writing, and allows you time and space to get to know characters/the story/the world.

31. What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?

There were times when I was losing steam for the LOTR Trilogy rewrite. Definitely some hard moments there. But it's written! It's done!

Thus Always - I had to rewrite the entire thing I had stopped for so long lol

hmmm there are a few others that I remember being a challenge to write. Mostly it's about losing momentum - if I lose steam and interest it's hard to get back into it.

---

Thank you so much for the ask!!

[ask meme]

[pb-dot]

Introducing: The Thereafter Release Newsletter

Big news everybody! As of today, I open up for subscriptions to the Thereafter release newsletter, which is the method I have chosen to release my serial novel Thereafter. The first chapter is slated to be released on May 1st at 13:00 GMT, with subsequent chapters coming out on the 1st and 15th every month until I change the schedule or the story is done. Back-of-the-book-brief and a bit of a Q&A below the cut

The year he turned 13, Michael Sørstrand saved the world of the Molefolk from the tyranny of the Lightlord and his armies. It’s been mostly downhill for him after that. Now, 20 years later, Michael finds himself spirited away by magic yet again. The world he finds himself in is stranger and more chaotic by a long shot than the serene caves of the Molefolk. Something defying description has destroyed the world of the Molefolk and countless other magical worlds. The survivors and refugees of these innumerable worlds that have banded together in the ramshackle town of Therafter, built from what parts of their worlds they could salvage. It is here they have called upon Michael to once again take on the mantle of hero to provide hope and inspiration for the disparate masses of survivors. The good news? The wizards and warlocks in charge of Thereafter have managed to summon three other heroes through the void between worlds. The bad news? They’re all messed up in their own, unique ways, and they don’t play particularly well with others, either. Now, Michael and his fellow ex-heroes must rediscover what heroism they once had, find peace with each other and themselves, and ask what it means to be heroes in an imperfect world. They’ll have their work cut out for them. The city of Thereafter is rife with desperate crime and runaway magic, and the calamity that shattered the countless worlds is still out there, somewhere.

Q: Is there any cost associated with subscribing to the story of Thereafter?

A: Subscribing to the Thereafter story release newsletter is free and will remain free for the duration. If I get enough subscribers that staying on the buttondown free plan becomes unfeasible (100+ subscribers), I will open a patreon or similar crowdfunding page to help pay for the costs associated with the upgrade to a paid plan.

Q: Why are you sending this story out there for free?

A: At a point in my work on the first draft of His Impossible Brushstrokes I realized that I love writing too much to put writing entirely on pause while I edit Brushstrokes and The Clockwork Boy. Rather than get started on yet another manuscript to try to sell to an open-minded indie publisher, I decided to just get some of my writing out there.

Q: Why Buttondown?

A: I did some light research on the topic of newsletter services, and found Buttondown's approach to be the most promising for a small operation like mine. The first tier of paid plans is also more reasonable than what substack can offer.

Q: Does Thereafter have an age limit?

A: As I'm not a children's developmental psychologist, I feel ill-equipped to answer this question. I will however say that Thereafter is a story intended for mature audiences, both in that coarse language and references to sexual acts as well as not-insignificant descriptions of violence feature prominently, but also in that the feeling of being an adult and the often painful contrast with the potential of youth is a pivotal part of the narrative. As such, I suggest "adulthood" as the recommended reading age.

Q: Will you tag potentially upsetting material?

To the best of my ability, yes. I can't guarantee I'll catch every single one, but I will do my best, and I'll do my best to amend any glaring omissions in the archived posts.

Q: Speaking of archival, how will that work?

Buttondown archives every mail sent out, and I will post archived chapters to my Cohost under the tag Thereafter Chapters a week after they go out. This way, the Newsletter is the primary source for new chapters, while allowing for multiple ways of back reading depending on individual preferences.

Q: What's your stance on fanworks, remixes, and similar works?

Thereafter is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial ShareAlike license, which is to say that you're free to make works based on or remixing anything in it, provided you do attribute the source, make no money off it, and make your work available under the same license. On a less legalese level, I adore fanworks, but I will personally not read fanfiction of my work as I'm worried about picking up ideas, concepts or interpretations from these subconsciously. I should also mention that I am not super strict about these things, just smack a Thereafter tag in there (and maybe @ me if you feel brave and cool) and we're gravy.

Q: How might your readers interact with you and the community?

Buttondown does not feature a comment section to the best of my knowledge, but I encourage anyone who has thoughts or something to say about the chapters to give the #Thereafter tag here or on cohost some love. If you have questions or a message for the author, contact me here on Tumblr, or on the aforementioned Cohost. I respond to tagged posts, Asks, DMs if we're moots, or you seem legit, the whole bag.

Q: Would you fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?

Ok, this is getting silly, time to wrap it up. (The 100 duck-sized horses, easily. Horses are flesh machines made to break in stupid ways, ducks remember being dinosaurs and giving them a chance to relive the glory days seem like a massive mistake.)

[moondust-bard]

~About Me~

• My pronouns are she/they

• You may call me either by my pen name, Moira Bard, or by my chosen name, Luna. I will answer to both.

• I have… four indoor cats. Yes, I know that’s a lot of cats. Taming and caring for the feral gremlins in my neighborhood has become a hobby

• I’m autistic

• I’m also a visually impaired person with albinism

• chronic illnesses? Got those, too. I’m a party, truly.

• I enjoy mythology, folklore, fairytales, and world history

• I identify as queer

• Aside from writing, I enjoy editing fiction, studying herbalism, singing, stage-acting, studying astrology, graphic design, interior design, crafting with modeling clay, sketching, watercolors, practicing tarot, and baking

• Is my goal to traditionally publish? Not sure. Currently, the plan is to do those things which bring me the most joy— and that includes storytelling

• I’m In my mid-20s, but I’m secretly an ancient hermit hidden in a stone cottage, nestled in a dark wood untouched by sunlight and civilization. Through some arcane magic I shan’t divulge there is indeed an internet connection.

I am open to:

character voice-act ✅

Beta-read ✅

Proofread ✅

(Amateur) developmental edit ✅

(Amateur) line edit ✅

Sensitivity read ✅

Positivity pass ✅

Critique swap ✅

Create book and character playlists ✅ (search the tag “songs for playlists” for examples)

Design book banners, covers, and other graphics ✅ (search the tag “my art” for examples)

My asks and inbox are both open!

About My Writing & Related Topics

• I’m a plotter, though I’ve recently been straying from adhering to a strict outline and allowing the characters and my own whims to dictate the story

• I write mostly fantasy and sci fi for adults and young adults

• I would like to indie publish at some point— though I’m in no rush. For now, I write because I can’t not tell stories

• I’m also adapting some public domain works into scripts, mostly because my friends and I need fresh audition pieces

• I draft with scrivener and speech-to-text software

• my pen name is Moira Bard. I chose it because it evokes a sense of ethereal whimsy— two words I feel encompass my energy quite nicely

• I prefer comments and reblogs over likes— but don’t let me tell you how to writeblr. All interactions are appreciated!

Here are my 2024 writing goals

~My WiPs~

Lost Souls’ Night Series

Genres: mythic fantasy, YA

Current Stage: draft of book 1 shelved for later edits; plotting books 3-5

WiP Tags: wip: lsn

Read the wip intro!

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Excerpt 1

Potent Poison, Treasured Tonic (Her Enchanted Garden Series, Book One)

Genres: new adult, urban portal fantasy

Current Stage: world-building, plotting, and character development in progress

WiP Tags: wip: pptt

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The Bloody Divine (Unholy Covenant Duology, Book One)

Genres: gothic fantasy, horror, adult, romance

Current stage: 2/3 of the first draft written; book 2 is 20% outlined

WiP Tags: wip: tbd

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Shadefyre (Lost in the Witherwoods Series, Book One)

Genres: new adult, fantasy

Current stage: character development and world building; first 4 books 50% outlined

WiP Tags: wip: ww

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Learn about the covens

Zenith Code (City of Crystal and Chrome Duology, Book One)

Genres: sci fi, dystopia, YA

Current stage: worlsbuilding, character development; detailed outline 75% done. Two books set in this world are 50% outlined.

WiP Tags: wip: zc

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Hunting Ground (a Noble Dragons novel)

Genres: romantasy, adult

Current stage: draft 1 is done

WiP Tags: wip: hg

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Creatures of Fate Series

Genre: romantasy, adult

Current Stage: drafting book 1

Wip Tags: Wip: CoF

Intro to Book One coming soon!

Meet Book One’s MC!

~ My socials ~

Find me on Spotify

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Here’s my “writing playlist resources” Spotify account

Feel free to tag me in ask games and interactive posts!

~Resources I’ve Made~

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Blurb Writing Tips

Writer’s Guide to Conquering Executive Dysfunction

I co-run moon+seraph — a blog dedicated to encouraging and supporting the writing community here on tumblr

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND that my blindness makes me reliant on screen readers— you might also know this as text-to-speexh software. I use this tech to make tumblr more accessible to ne. One of the limits of the tech I use is that hashtags aren’t picked up and read to me. Please be aware that any messages left for me to read in the tags of a post… well, won’t be. I can’t see them and my tech won’t read them. I prefer feedback be left in comments and the text area on posts and revblogs for this reason.

[falceknight]

Falce this might be a bit rude(?) You dont need to answer if you want but I am curious have your wing ever malfuntion during a flight or fight or any situation really. Does it annoy you or it work flawlessly? Also here have some puddings for this long question haha 🍮🍮🍮🍮

(Long ask sorry hdhsh)

While...indeed, a bit rude, i will answer you.

AH HELLO accidentally posted this draft. Very embarrasing, please forgive me. But okay since it is here, i will leave it and ill come back to edit it later.

[suddencolds]

🌸 🥀 🥳💡 for the ask meme, from w1ngxd!

AHHH thank you for the ask, Wing!!!! These were so much fun to answer :D ❤️

🌸 - Are there any sneeze related tropes you prefer to write?

Yes!! I like contagion in pretty much any form 🫣 I love emotional tension (someone reluctant/embarrassed to admit that they have a cold, someone falling ill at an inopportune time, someone afraid to show vulnerability or unwilling to contradict their spotless public image, etc.)—i.e. the hurt part of the hurt/comfort—so long as there's at least a bit of comfort at the end. <3

I like when caretakers are extremely perceptive (/ can pick up on the smallest of tells), but I also like when colds are extremely obvious 🫣 I like when the character who's ill is more concerned about the other character catching it than they are themself. If it's the right kind of character, I like making their life super inconvenient in public bc of a cold/allergies (though I rarely ever write an external party noticing/commenting). And from an h/c perspective, I like when a character who's just feeling awful and finally works up the courage to reach for help/comfort, only to have it readily given to them tenfold 🥰

🥀 - What helps you motivate yourself to write when you’re in a slump? Any advice? Do you wait it out?

If I'm not happy with a scene, I open a new word doc and try to write it again from scratch. Dealing with a blank slate feels better for me than trudging through editing something I'm already not happy with :')

And if I'm feeling really terrible about a draft—to the extent that I don't want to work on it at all, I leave it and go work on something else! I think for the current yvverse series I'm working on, I know I'll get back to it eventually (because it's very important to me), so I feel less nervous about leaving it to sit.

🥳 - Do you read your writing after you’ve posted it?

I do! But not immediately after. I'm actually guilty of posting stuff that has typos I don't catch until a couple days later, when I can work up the courage to give it a quick skim 😭

Facing my work when it's newly written/posted I think is like a can of worms for me. I'm very critical of my own work haha. There's a special kind of relief (and perhaps, closure) for me that comes with putting it out into the world and walking away from it.

💡 - Do you find it easier to write ideas that come to you naturally or prompts requested by others?

I love receiving prompts!! I have a severe lack of ideas 😭 I feel like I could take an idea and run with it, but after I've written like the 2-3 things I'm itching to write for a new fandom, I often find myself at a loss for new ideas, barring external inspiration.

I also like receiving prompts even when I'm guilty of never getting to write them—it's fun to see what other people want to read :') I think when I wrote for a fandom (Gens//hin) I got a lot more prompts, but now that I write mostly OC fic, I haven't gotten any prompts in like a year (maybe also because I haven't explicitly asked for any? Consider this blanket permission to anyone reading this haha)

[ Question List ]

[lorei-writes]

We heard a lot about Esther, so how about we ask about Viva now? What is she like? What are her goals and ambitions? Who is she closest to beyond Esther?

Hi!

Ahh, it's lovely hearing from you, Anon! Hmm... You know, I find this question a little bit difficult, as the answer depends so much on which point of her story we're going to look at. However, since I haven't written any one shots with her... Let's just take it easy and start it from the beginning?

For context, Viva's OC chart (link).

Personally, I'd describe Viva as a collapsing sun. She is warm, energetic and passionate person, however, her story starts when she is pushed beyond her limits.

She's strong, both physically and mentally. She can deal with nonsense.

Viva does not mind labouring in the fields. Her hands have already grown in callouses. She does not mind sleeping on hay. She's fine being covered in dirt while working in her own garden, and she's fine going poaching. All provided that her loved ones are safe.

But they aren't.

As it often happens when one of the siblings is ill, a lot of Viva's life revolves around Esther and her condition. That is only exacerbated by the following factors:

They share the face.

Each time Viva sees Esther, she feels first grateful, terrified, and then ashamed of herself.

She's grateful, because she's not the one in that position. She cannot help this reaction. She's terrified, because she has some idea about how much it must hurt. And then, she's ashamed, because she was grateful in the first place. Why wasn't it her? If she could take it for herself, would she?

The royalty, that in Viva's mind has already taken so much from them, wants more.

Given all that, there isn't much place in Viva's life for ambition. Those are personal -- she simply cannot afford them. And once everything comes crashing down? She has only one goal. To get her revenge. For herself, for her father, for her sister, her broken family, and perhaps, all the other people who have been mistreated.

Once all is said and done, well. I wouldn't say she knows exactly what it is that she wants from life. Guidelines for anything major take time to be drafted, so her first objective is to re-learn being allowed to want things for herself.

--

As for the people close to her -- Viva is a sociable person. Most of the people in her village think of her kindly, the elderly in particular.

She needs to work hard, so she doesn't necessarily have time to deepen a lot of connections. That being said, she was in several relationships. She's on amicable grounds with those people.

She does have a -- as of yet -- nameless friend she'd poach with. He treats her like something of a still unfeathered chicken, despite both of them being about equally skilled. A kind of banter-over-struggles sort of connection.

Additionally, both of the twins are close to their mother who still remains alive. Moreover, their mother's lifestyle does not change after the Belle selection arc of Viva's story is concluded. (Which, since neither of them wants to give up on that relationship, does create some issues later on.)

[ritz-writes]

please please please please I know nothing I’m oblivious who are these funky little lads that are apparently Bruce Waynes kids

Was going thru my drafts and realized I never answered this ask im so sorry!!

I started writing a HUGEEEE thing explaining as much as I could (ended up being over 4k) but I felt that was a bit much so ill just explain the basics on the bat kids. Just a long paragraph for each. Keep in mind that canon changes a lot and there are different comics and shows and version of the characters. Ill just explain what I know the most

Dick Grayson: First Robin. Now goes by Nightwing. Was a spy in one comic and went by Grayson but we don’t like that one that much. Also got amnesia at one point and went by Ric. We hate Ric, don’t bring him up. Was part of the flying graysons in Haley’s Circus with his parents but they were killed by Tony Zucco during a performance (their line broke). Bruce was in the crowd and made Dick is ward. Dick was 8 at the time. When he was 18 he had a fight with bruce and moved to Bludhaven. Thats where he became Nightwing. Hes the oldest kid

Jason Todd: Second Robin. Goes by Red Hood. He lived in Crime Alley by himself (father was in prison (later died) and mom overdosed). Wanted to make some cash so tried to steal the wheels of the batmobile. Bruce was honestly impressed and took him in. Dick was a bit upset at first (bruce give jason robin without asking. In most comics robin was a nickname dicks mom called him) but eventually warmed up to jason. I could go on a whole rant about how jason wasnt the angry robin most ppl say, but I wont. Bruce thinks he killed someone and benches him. Jason finds out his mom isnt his bio mom. His bio mom is in Ethipoia and he goes to find her. She sells him out to joker. Joker tortures him with a crowbar and leaves him in a building that explodes (also kills the bio mom). Talia al Ghul (daughter of Ra’s al Ghul. Hes the leader of the League of Assassins) brings him back to life via lazarus pit. Jasons story is very long so ill just say he comes back angry, tries to get bruce to kill joker, almost kills tim (hes next), kinda becomes the head crime lord in crime alley, and is hella hella protective of the kids and working girls in crime alley. Hes also a book nerd. Wanted to be an english major before he died. He and batwoman (mentioned in honorably mentions below) use guns. Sometimes he uses rubber bullets, sometimes he deosnt. In his newest reboot he uses a crowbar and has a different outfit. Not a fan of it. in some versions he doesnt work with the batfam, in others he rejoins them. i like the latter more.

Tim Drake: Third Robin. Currently goes by Red Robin. (yes like the restaurant. Yes its a running joke in the fandom) The smart robin. Smarter than batman in some universes (most imo). Figured out batmans identity by himself when he was like 8-9. when jason dies bruce doesn’t pull his punches at all and tim is like “he needs a robin.” tries to get dick to come back, but he says no. so tim basically forces himself into bruces life as robin until bruce relents. Tim has a hella messed up storyline that I don’t know very well. Jason tries to kill him, Damian tries to kill him (hes next), theres one story line where bruce is lost in time and tim is the only one who doesn’t think hes dead. Lots of stuff happens. Bascially all his friends die, his parents die, he loses his spleen- its a mess. Hes also the ceo of wayne enterprise in some comics. We also joke that hes an immortal 17 yr old cuz hes almost always 17 in the comics. Tim is bi and has a boyfriend named Bernard (I ship him more with kon tho)

Damian Wayne: Fourth Robin. Trained as an assassin since birth. He’s bruces bio son. Son of talia and bruce. Becomes robin when hes 9 I think. In one story, the bruce lost in time one, dick just gives robin to damian cuz “he needs it.” damian was very…. Murdery at first. Has a sword. Very talented artist. Very very smart. Can take advanced college courses at like age 7. smart boy. He has the most character devleopment in my opinion. Calls himself “the blood son.” is best friends with superman’s son, Jon.

Stephanie Brown: Steph. Goes by Spoiler now. is kinda Robin 3.5. or 2.5 idk when in the timeline she was robin, but she was robin for like 2 weeks before getting fired. Idk much about her. Her father is Cluemaster (villain). Isn’t adopted by bruce, but is his kid nonetheless. She and tim dated at one point.

Cassandra Cain: Cass. Goes by Orphan or Black Bat, depending on the comic. Was raised to be a weapon by her father. Idk his name. Her mother is Lady Shiva, another world class assassin. Cass was taught to not speak cuz “weapons don’t have feelings.” she knows sign and when bruce takes her in he helps her find her voice. In some versions she can speak, in others she just says one or two words at a time, and in some she just uses sign. Shes other than jason (by like 2 months) but younger than dick. Not sure if shes adopted or not.

Duke Thomas: Goes by Signal. I know the least about him. Also not adopted. His parents were jokerized (got posioned with joker gas and kinda went insane.) He’s a meta apparently? I learned that recently. Has photokenesis: ability to absorb, redistribute, and manipulate both light and darkness. Is the daytime hero I think.

Barbara Gordon: Used to be Batgirl, is now Oracle. (in some version steph and cass were batgirl at one point) Not adopted by bruce. Shes Commissioner Gordon’s daughter. Very very smart. Very very badass. Is the guy in the chair for the batfam. Joker shot her in her spine when breaking into her apartment and paralyzed her. But she can still kick hella ass in that wheelchair. She and dick used to date.

Honorable mentions: Kate Kane, Batwoman. She’s Bruce’s cousin. Lucas Fox, Batwing. Lucius Fox’s son. Selina Kyle, Catwoman. She and bruce r kinda sorta in a relationship. Its complicated sometimes. Kate Kelly, Robin. Shes in a separate universe I believe. Don’t know much about her at all. She uses a slingshot.

And of course, Alfred Pennyworth. We love alfred. He has guns hidden around the manor in canon. Bruce doesn’t like guns. Alfred knows this and says “youll never find all of them.” hes sassy and we stan.

And those r the main members of the batfam! Sorry this took so long to answer. It comepletely slipped my mind. I probably forgot a few details, but oh well.

[saintlaurentproblems]

If the original cast agreed to do a reunion film, what storylines would you want to see? I always wanted to see Nate and Blair together again.

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK LITERALLY TWO MONTHS TO ANSWER. it has been sitting in my drafts for months!

Here's my old idea. We’re pretending that the recent Gossip Girl reboot isnt canon.

The reboot title wouldn’t have Gossip Girl in it. It would be more like “Upper East Side.”

I would like to change my old idea a little bit.

Chuck - Dead. Everyone has to come back for his funeral. He can be in flashback scenes with Blair. He was hiding that he was terminally ill. Only Blair and Lily knew he was sick.

Dan - successful novelist and travels the world with Serena. Serena wants to start a family while Dan keeps pushing it off. They separate and Serena goes back to NY. Vanessa and Dan rekindle. Dan goes back to NY to ask Serena for a divorce. However, Dan decides to stick around because he missed his friends and family and gets jealous when Serena is seen with an old flame.

Serena - Steps back into the NY social scene after living in Dan’s shadow for years. She decides to live with Blair to help her after Chuck’s passing. Serena has been having an emotional affair with Carter since running into him during one of Dan’s press tours in Europe. Serena tries to hide her feelings for Carter by dating [insert new celebrity character]. Serena distracts herself by focusing on becoming an IT girl again.

Blair - Chuck and Blair were keeping Chuck’s illness a secret. They were hoping they could find a cure but Chuck ends up not wanting to fight anymore. Blair and Chuck failed to conceive another child through the years. She tried IVF and researched the surrogate route but she found herself putting her career first. Later, Serena gets pregnant with Carter’s baby. This causes drama between Serena and Blair because Serena got pregnant without trying. Blair is so angry and exhausted from Chuck’s death and family drama, she approves a marketing campaign that gets horrible backlash. Blair has an emotional breakdown and starts going to therapy. Blair ends up meeting a new love interest that catches her off guard. Serena ends up working with a competitor which drives a bigger wedge between their friendship.

Jenny - Surprisingly, Blair and Jenny worked several years together under the Eleanor Waldorf brand. Blair and Jenny won’t call each other “friends” but they have a mutually respectful relationship. Jenny ended up leading the company and started her own brand similar to Staud, Anine Bing, etc. She’s an edgy fashion mogul and dated many rockstars, photographers, and artists. Blair talks shit in the press about Jenny’s brand which causes drama. Jenny creates an alliance with Nelly Yuki.

Nate - Sold the spectator to a major media outlet. He became a VC and loves to invest in new tech companies. His family wants him to revisit the idea of becoming a politician. Nate’s family set him up on a date with a woman in the political world. Nate has a been hooking up with Jenny on and off for years. Nate just started becoming friends with Dan again so it makes their friends with benefits relationship awkward. they end it and just stay friends. Nate is jealous that most of his family settled down and started a family. Nate ends up becoming a politician and finds himself in an enemies to lovers relationship with his arranged love interest.

Carter Baizen - Considering Sebastian is pretty famous now I think he deserves a bigger role. Carter becomes the main love interest of Serena. It’s a slow burn relationship. He reconnected with Nate and gets asked to help with his political campaign. After paying his debt to the Buckley’s, he ended up working his way up in the business and became a well-respected businessman/public figure. He is still shady at times and will cross the line to get what he wants. Similar to a Michael Rubin type of business man. He tries not to fall for Serena again but it ends up happening organically.

Georgina - Makes a grand entrance at the funeral causing a lot of drama with Blair. Georgina reveals that Chuck has been secretly paying off press and PR representatives to make Blair’s collections seem more successful than they actually are. Georgina finds interest in an new anonymous gossip IG account “Deuxmoi inspired.”

Vanessa - I want Vanessa to be less annoying. So I think she should be an executive producer for an independent entertainment company (A24). She mostly focuses on projects that promote important causes but her boss demands that she gets a producer that will bring in money for the company. So she pitches a docuseries about Chuck Bass’ life. Blair is against the idea at first but then eventually agrees to it. It documents his career journey and the last few months of his life.

Lily - On husband #7 now. She’s married to a Mark Cuban type businessman (New Character). Lily and Serena aren’t very close. Eric moved to London with his husband. Lily has two step-daughters who are 23 & 27. They’re very Mary Kate & Ashley meets Gigi & Bella vibes but more public and kind of Serena 2.0. Lily started a company like Goop with her husband.

Lily’s Step Daughters - I figured we need a few younger characters who have a different perspective. They’re cool NY socialites who know the ins and outs of NY. The become the face of Jenny’s brand which launches them into the spotlight. Blair also takes a liking to them. The sisters end up choosing sides in the Serena vs Blair war that takes over NY. Some of their friends can also make appearances that get entangled in the OG cast’s drama.

Rufus - Married a world renowned artist who is very popular amongst Lily and her friends. Rufus is far less annoying and opened his own Weed Dispensary that’s doing very well and collaborates with Goop. Maybe an affair with Lily?????

Who is Gossip Girl?

Gossip Girl is…one of Lily’s step-daughters. But she’s rebrands gossip girl to be something cooler and more exclusive. Think of it like Raya and the clubhouse app. She anonymously hosts a party at zero bond and when guests download the app they have access to secret videos, scandals, and text messages between the OG Casts, Celebrity Gossip, and Political Figures.

[autumnalwalker]

Untitled Solarpunk Witch draft, chapter 1.1

Spring, Week 1, Seven of Cups

“The artist was on stilts the first time I saw her.  Watching her leisurely pick her way across the marsh toward town, I kept thinking that oversized backpack of hers was going to tip her over at any moment. Even from a distance you could make out the green tinge to her skin heralding her ancestry from last century’s ill-fated human photosynthesis experiments.”

Breaking my gaze from the approaching figure I turn back to the group I’ve been meeting with for the past three days to brainstorm solutions for containing and/or preventing any further spillage when we go to move the drone. We’re all on a shaded open-air platform that the village uses as a public space.

“Who is that?” I ask, causing a couple of the others who hadn’t noticed yet to break off their conversation on bio-synthesized barrier permeability and look up. 

Luanna, the de facto coordinator of our little circle shades her eyes with one hand as she looks out at the stiltwalker.  “No idea.  Never seen them before.” 

A murmuring of similar answers from everyone else follows as she cocks her head for a moment in thought before turning around, clapping her hands once and declaring more loudly “Alright everyone, this has been good so far.  Let’s take an hour break and meet back up here.  In the meantime I’m going to go greet our new guest.  If I’m not back by then, continue on without me.”

Some of us get up and start walking to the nearest bridge.  Others stay and return to their ongoing conversations, not wanting to lose their trains of thought.  As for me, I find myself staring at the newcomer again for a moment until Luanna gets my attention.

“Hey, wanna come with?” she asks, gesturing at the stiltwalker.

I blink for a moment as I realize she’s talking to me.  “Oh, yeah, of course.  Thanks.  Bast(et)?”

I’m coming.  She gets up from where she’s been sunning herself for a bit of extra charge and stretches before following along.

Luanna looks over her shoulder at Bast(et) padding along the bridge behind us and raises a quizzical eyebrow.   “Does it actually need to stretch like that?  I didn’t think a robot would get stiff from lying down.”

I’m not a robot.

“She, not ‘it’.  And, just so you know, AI’s don’t tend to like being called robots.  Apparently the word originally meant ‘slave’ or ‘forced labor’ or something like that.”

“Sorry about that, I guess?”

“I’m not the one to apologize to.”  I jerk my head in Bast(et)’s direction.

Luanna looks back at Bast(et).  “My apologies.  Didn’t mean to offend.”

Bast(et) lets out a meow.  Good enough.

“Apology accepted.” I translate.

We cross two more housing platforms with residents tending to their wall gardens and greeting Luanna as we pass by.  As we reach the ramp leading down to the docks she breaks the conversational pause.

“So… what should I call them?” 

“Assuming, you specifically mean AI’s with bodies, ‘familiars’ generally works since they pretty much always have a witch.  ‘Automata’ works too if you want to get formal about it.  Oh, but to answer your original question about the stretching thing… Bast(et), what was it you told me that one time?”

Engaging in nonessential biomimicry increases empathy in both directions. It assists with immersion in analog space and puts humans at ease to see our chosen forms behave in - if you’ll pardon the pun - familiar ways.

“Mind if I paraphrase that?”

I expect it by now.

“Basically, she enjoys it and humans like seeing a cat-shaped familiar do cat things.”

By now Luanna’s finished unmooring one of the shared rafts that get more day-to-day use than the airboat.  “I’ll take your word for it.”  She picks up the long steering pole and beckons me over.  “All aboard.”

Bast(et) and I step onto the raft; perhaps a longer stretch of a step than was necessary but I’m not sure how stable it is and I don’t want to dip the edge down.  A moment later I’m catching my balance all over again as Luanna pushes off the marsh bed to set the raft in motion.

A chuckle from Luanna.  “First time?”

I rub the back of my neck and avoid eye contact as I give her a sheepish “Yeah…”

Her smile fades as we pass out from the shade beneath the village and out into the noonday sun of the treeless marsh.  “In all seriousness though, I asked you to come with me for a reason.  As much as we all like to assume best intentions, you never really know with strangers.  Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst, as they say.  I’m hoping having a witch at hand might discourage them from starting anything.”

“You know we don’t actually put hexes on people or shoot lightning from our wands, right?”

She nods.  “I might, but you’d be surprised how many folks don’t.”

“I can’t say I like being used as a threat, but your village, your call.”

“I’m not asking you to be overt about it.  Just be… present.  I’ll handle the talking.”

By this time we’ve reached the stiltwalking traveler.  She’d stopped walking and was no longer on top of the stilts, having now relocated to a platform halfway down one stilt where she sits with her back to us.  Her oversized backpack dangles from atop the other stilt.  I have no idea how she’s keeping them both upright, but I’m impressed.

“Hey there, stranger!” Luanna calls out with a wave.

Said stranger looks over her shoulder, gives us a shushing finger-to-lips and then points with a pencil toward a blue heron a short distance away.

I look at Luanna and shrug.  As she pushes us closer I can see that the woman is writing in a book of some sort.  No, wait, drawing.  She’s partway through what to my untrained eye looks to be a fairly detailed rendering of the heron.  Luanna stops us just short of bumping into the stilts and I lean around to get a better look at the sketchbook.

You’re staring.

“At the art, not her skin.”

It’s easy to see why someone would though.  The artist herself was covered in what were essentially green-tinged freckles, running up and down her bare arms and legs.  

I recall reading about this.  Some Reconfiguration era gene-tech group got the idea to engineer humans capable of photosynthesis.  For a variety of reasons, some ethical, some practical, some fear-based, the project got shut down but not before producing a whole host of tube-born green infants and toddlers in need of homes.  Those kids grew up and had kids and grandkids of their own.  The green turned out to be a fairly recessive host of traits, but every now and then it crops back up.

As I watch, the artist completes a more hasty sketch of the rest of the bird and a rough outline of the surrounding patch of marsh before closing the sketchbook and swiveling around on her platform to face us.  Sitting down as she is, she’s a bit below eye level.

“Thanks for waiting.  I hadn’t managed to get this close to one of those before and I didn’t want to scare it off.  Name’s Ursula.”  She sticks out hand.

Luanna hands me the raft pole steps forward to shake Ursula’s hand before I manage to do so myself.  “Luanna.  Welcome to Zello.”  She gestures toward me.  “And this is our resident witch.”

I take the cue to smile and wave.  “Nice to meet you.”

“I figured you must be with the hat and all.  I haven’t seen one in a while, but it’s always a pleasure.”  She looks around for a moment before locking eyes on Bast(et).  “And you must be the familiar!  What’s your name?” 

“That would be Bast(et),” I answer for her.

Ursula bends down as much as her seated position will allow, tipping the stilt unnervingly and reaches down a hand, open palm up.  “Nice to meet you Bastet.”

Bast(et) walks over, puts a paw on the offered hand and gives a meow.  I like her.  Even if she gets my name wrong.

“She says you’re pronouncing it wrong, but she likes you anyway.”

“Bastet?”

“Bast(et).”

MG preserve me, not this conversation again.

“Bast Et?”

“No, now there’s too much of a pause.  There's parentheses around the ‘et’.”

I appreciate your concern, but we don’t have to do this every time.  

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Uh, think of it like it’s hyphenated.  Or apostrophe’d.”

That said, is it really that hard for humans to pronounce?

“Bast-et?”

Close enough.

“Close enough.”

Luanna coughs, getting our collective attention.  “Aaanyway…  Miss Ursula, I hope you don’t mind my asking what brings you here.”

“Oh me?  I’m just a wandering artist.  I arrived at the coast down south a couple months back and I’ve been working my way up north since, drawing what I see as I go.  Painting a bit too when I can find the space for it.”

“And you’re planning on staying here for a while, I take it?”

“If you’ll have me.  At least until I get the urge to move on again.  And I can pull my own weight while I’m here if that’s a concern.  I’m no stranger to odd jobs.”

“As long as you’re respectful and don’t cause trouble, we can’t ask for much more than that.  Follow us into town and I’ll give you the tour.  Introduce you to some folks.”

“Thanks, you won’t regret it.  Just give me a minute.”

While we watch Ursula climb the stilts, retrieve her backpack and start strapping in, Luanna leans over to me and whispers, “She seems harmless enough.  What do you think?”

I keep my eyes on the wandering, watching her unlatch and relatch some kind of mechanism on one of the stilts, folding up the platform she’d been sitting on and letting her move that leg.  “I like her,” I reply.

Bast(et) makes the sneezing noise that she’s mapped as the feline analogue to a snicker.

“What?”

You’re staring again.

“They’re neat stilts.”

Right…

*******

Over the next hour or two Luanna leads us on the tour of Zello that Bast(et) and I somehow missed out on with all the excitement over the drone.  She tells us that the village grew and expanded organically over time, so there’s no real central planning to the layout.  The houses and public spaces are all situated atop modular platforms, connected by bridges that can be retracted and pulled up when the hurricanes hit.  The same goes for the hanging mirrors that keep the understory lit during the day.  Useful for keeping the plants they use for waste treatment healthy, she tells us.  I make a note to examine that system in more detail later.  I’m sure the order would be interested in that sort of thing.  

Centrally planned or not, it’s hard not to notice a few patterns emerge.  The main one being the tendency for the house platforms to cluster in loose bubbles around the public platforms.  Neighborhoods I guess you could call them.  Usually it’s some sort of community garden or just an open space like the one we were using earlier, but where they’ve got the more specialized buildings - the clinic, the maker space, the computer workshop, and what have you - the pattern holds.

As for the introductions Luanna mentioned earlier, that mostly ends up being just to whomever we happen to run into along the way.  There’s no one really “in charge” around here that newcomers “have to” meet.  The closest thing they seem to have to that is the handful of individuals like Travis and Luanna herself who happen to have a talent for getting everyone coordinated and organized when something big comes up.  Likewise, save for a few notable exceptions like the village doctor, most everyone here is a generalist of sorts, able to do a little bit of everything that needs done to keep Zello going, whether that’s gardening, solar panel maintenance, or tending the fisheries outside town.  Not to say that there aren’t specialists who have a passion for a particular area or do things beyond simple subsistence, just that no one is more particularly “need to know” than anyone else.  Luanna calls it a tradition from the Collapse days (what I surmise the order would call late Corp or early Reconfiguration) when they couldn’t afford to have any individual be irreplaceable.

*******

“And that’s Zello for you,” Luanna says to us, hands on hips.  I get the impression this isn’t the first, or even second, time she’s taken on the role of tour guide.  “One last bit of business though if you're going to be staying for a time, miss Ursula.  We don’t have any empty housing, so we’re going to need to find someone willing to take you in while you’re here.”

“No need to bother yourselves on my account.”  Ursuala pats the bulging side of her backpack.  “Just give me a spot to set up a hammock and a tarp if it rains and I can sleep most anywhere.  I might want a shower I can borrow every now and then though.”

“You can use mine,” I volunteer.  “It’s not like I own the place or anything.  If you’d shown up a week earlier our positions would be reversed right now.”

“Wait - I mean thanks - but aren’t you the village witch?”

I shrug and tilt my head. “Eh, not technically.  I just got here a few days ago myself to help with an issue that popped up with some old Corp tech that was buried out in the marsh.  I’m about as new here as you are.”

“Well in that case…” Ursula slaps me on the back.  “New neighbors slash roomies it is!”

No consulting the familiar in this?

“You said you liked her.”

I’m just teasing.  This should be entertaining.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

And that is what makes it entertaining.

Our silent dialogue is interrupted by another attention-grabbing cough from Luanna, reminding us once again that she’s still there.  “Aaanyway…  If that’s all settled, I’ll leave you two to it.  You know where I live now if you need anything.  Just please don’t go driving nails into the platforms with that hammock of yours.  Have a good evening.”

Ursula and I thank her in approximate unison.

“So, about that shower…”

*******

I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my cauldron, configuring it for a simulation of the some of the containment material options we were discussing at the meeting earlier when Bast(et)’s voice interrupts my concentration.

Oh look.  Now she’s staring.

I look up to find Ursula in a change of clothes, damp hair already pulled back into a ponytail, leaning on the kitchen counter, staring at me.  Staring and sketching.

She registers that I’ve noticed her and snaps the sketchbook closed.  “Sorry, sorry!  I should have asked first.  But it’s not every day you get to see a witch at work and you were holding so still it was the perfect opportunity.  Too much time alone in the woods I guess.  Or swamp more lately.  And I’m talking too much aren’t I?”

“It’s fine.  Not like I was doing anything secret or embarrassing.”  I pause for a moment.  “Can I see it?”

“Oh, yeah, of course.”  She sits down next to me and Bast(et) and opens the sketchbook on the floor between us to a charcoal rendering of me and Bast(et) staring at the cauldron, my hat beside me on the floor, grimoire balanced on my knee.

“Oh wow.  This is pretty good.”

You’re easily impressed.

“And you’re an art snob.”  I look back up at Ursula.  “Sorry, not you.”

She laughs and says “I figured as much.”

“Mind if I look at the rest?”

“Help yourself.”

We spend probably the next hour or so, going backwards through what amounts to a visual travel log.  The heron from earlier.  A crab.  A close up of a beach sunflower.  Drowned buildings sticking out of the water on the coast and covered in vines.  Another swamp, this one with more trees.  An alligator.  A mangrove forest.  As much as she seems to favor nature, there are human subjects too.  Individuals and crowds.  Village squares and town centers.  An old city vertical farm and an arcology air dock.  And another witch with her familiar.  Just about every one I ask about Ursala has an anecdote for.

“So, this is what you do?  Travel the world, drawing what you see?”

“Preeetty much,” she says as she stretches and adjusts her position.  “I paint too, but that tends to be harder to take with me so I just leave it with someone whenever I move on.  Same with the sketchbooks when they get full.  No way I could carry it all with me at once, and maybe this way it might inspire someone else to travel.  Or at least remind them that there’s a world outside their local community.”

“That’s… so… cool!”

Ursula laughs.  “I guess it kind of is, isn’t it?  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all fun and games and I’ve been hungry, cold, sick, and scared more times than I care to admit, but I don’t think I’d trade it for anything.

But what about you?  I mean, you’re a witch.  Flying all over.  Solving people’s problems.  Getting in touch with nature.  I’m sure you must have seen tons of cool places.”

I catch myself rubbing the back of my neck again.  “Eh, it’s not really like that.  Sure, I apprenticed in a few different places over my training - immersed in the local culture, got to know the people and all that - but now that I’ve finished training I’m expected to find a place I’m willing to settle down in long-term within a year or so.  I mean, the one year thing is just tradition and no one’s going to come out and force me to stay put at the end of it, but you hit two or three years without finding a community to be a part of and it starts raising concerns.”  I sit up straight and raise a finger in the air.  “‘A tree cannot grow without putting down roots,’ as one of my teachers always liked to put it.”

“Huh, I never really thought of it that way.”

“Most people don’t.  And I’m fine with it.  It’s what I signed up for.”  I look down at my hands.  “I just worry sometimes about the ‘becoming a fixture of the community’ part.  I tend to be better at interfacing with tech than interacting with other humans.”

“Well, if you ask me, you’re doing alright now.”

“Just one person at a time’s different.  Four or five relationships per context  is about my limit, and one of those is already reserved for Bast(et).  Any more than that is just… exhausting.”

“Can’t say I’ve got any advice there.  One of the downsides to staying moving all the time.”

“It’s fine.  I figure that’s the ‘growing’ part that comes with the putting down roots.  I’ll get it eventually.”

*******

It’s later and I’m getting ready for bed.  Ursula left to go set up her hammock outside a while ago.

“You’ve been quiet,” I say to Bast(et).

You rarely open up like that.  I didn’t want to ruin the moment.

[multiplicity-positivity]

A Day in the Lives of the Dreamland System: Living with DID

Hello! We recently received an ask with a few research questions, one of which asks people with DID to describe what it’s like living with this disorder. So we wanted to make a “day in the life” sort of post where we talk about our daily routine as a DID system!

(Note: while we are diagnosed with DID, we also have many comorbidities that affect our experience. Our life as a DID system will look different from another system’s!)

8:15 - Parker wakes up in the body when the alarm goes off. Sometimes another alter will wake up in the body, say, after a night of rough nightmares or being frontstuck the previous day. We’d guess Parker wakes up in the body about 85% of the time!

8:20 - Ralsei cofronts and gets us ready for the day. Soft brushes our teeth, takes our meds, and gets us into our work clothes. If they have time, they’ll fix a bite of breakfast for us and do some Hebrew practice (whether on Duolingo, writing the alef-bet, or saying and memorizing blessings). Sometimes Toby cofronts during this time!

9:00 - Margo switches in (that’s me!) to drive us to work. Usually I switch when we’ve changed into our work uniform. At work I’m the primary fronter. Parker’s almost always co-con, and sometimes Kip, Ghost, Cecil, or Ralsei will cofront with me to keep me company and make sure we can get through the day. Sometimes there’s special cases - last week Django cofronted with me at work which was his first time fronting in a long time! It all depends on what’s going on in our lives and what our emotional state is like. If it’s slow at work (it usually is!) I’ll hop on this blog and try to answer some asks or draft positivity posts.

5:00 - We clock out and Margo brings us home. Usually I’ve switched out between clocking out and getting in our car, leaving Parker to drive us home, but sometimes I don’t switch until we’ve been home for a few minutes. A couple nights ago I was frontstuck after work for a few hours, which was weird and stressful for me!

5:15 - Kip switches in to play with the cats, shower, then get us stoned. We’re severely mentally ill with lots of chronic pain and fatigue - drugs help us to manage our symptoms and feel calm and safe at home. During this time, Kip may do some reading (on DID/dissociation/psychology, Judaism, or something else), journalling, or play video games alone or with our wife.

7:00 - Ralsei fronts again to make dinner! Fluff never gets to eat the food they make however - if it’s a favorite food of one of our littles, they’ll front to gobble it up. If not, Parker or Kip usually front for dinner.

7:30 - Whoever fronts in the evening is entirely dependent on what we’re doing. If we watch a scary movie with our wife, Alucard will front. If we practice piano, Cecil or Basil will front. If we’re watching cartoons or playing a kid-friendly video game, one of the littles will front (most likely Ollie). Kip and Toby front to study (we’re studying Jewish texts!) and Ralsei fronts to do chores. A few of us may blog or scroll tumblr at this time, and any of us might seek out our cats for scritches and playtime.

We have to keep ourselves very busy during this time, requiring constant distraction to keep us from ending up in a bad place. If we don’t have something to do, we can get in a negative mental spiral and dissociate very quickly. GiGi or Nebula may front (the former is a persecutor, the latter is our autopilot), leaving us feeling overwhelmed and guilty, or empty and numb. Sometimes a traumatized little will front, which sends us into trauma flashbacks - we may feel nervous, terrified, anxious, sad, hurt, confused, and a host of other negative emotions. We may feel stuck in the past, hopelessly tied to our trauma memories, and unable to recognize our surroundings.

Thankfully many of us don’t hold recollection of these times, only hearing about it later from our wife or a journal entry.

11:30 - Bedtime! Parker brushes our teeth if he can remember, then it’s straight to bed. We try to fall asleep quickly - the time between getting in bed and falling asleep can be pretty dangerous for us. It’s when we’re most prone to having hallucinations, so we sleep with a blanket over our eyes to keep us from potentially seeing something frightening.

And that’s how an average day goes for us! Our DID affects every aspect of our life and really informs how we see the world and go about our day. Of course, there may be differences and fluctuations day-to-day, but this is roughly an average of how we live our life. Sometimes we have great communication and memory-sharing, sometimes it’s frustratingly difficult. It really depends on a lot of different things!

We hope some of y’all are able to find this post interesting or enlightening! Truth be told our life may seem pretty boring, but we like and much prefer it this way. ^^

Thanks so much for reading everyone! Take care of yourselves and have a wonderful day!