#‘all bisexual women date men.’ hey fun fact they also date women and people of other gender identities | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deadmandairyland · 3 years

Photo

Hi! I’m here to bring you yet another Danganronpa tier list: the sexuality tier list, which you can find here.

Now I’m going to be honest here: I don’t really have any LGBT headcanons. It’s just not really something I focus on much when it comes to fandoms. Instead I usually just focus on ships, and as a result from that I tend to present a lot of characters as LGBT in fanfictions and posts I’ve made or reblogged. In other words, a massive chunk of my “headcanons” here are a direct result of shipping (as well as information I’ve picked up from the games themselves). That being said, it was interesting to actually think about this for once, so I’m kinda glad I did the tier list. And it gave me an excuse to bring back the rainbow color scheme I usually put in my tier lists for aesthetic reasons.

The original tier list had Straight at the top, but I moved it to the bottom for two reasons. One, this is Tumblr and that’s not what you’re here for. Two, I gave it a neutral color, and having a gray section next to a white section (i.e. the title of the list) like that looked bad to me. I definitely prefer this setup just on aesthetic alone.

Because this is largely based on ships, I feel it needs to be said that representation does not factor into this chart in any way. I know it probably looks bad that the only character in the Lesbian category is one of my least favorite (though NOT hated or even disliked, I should point out) characters in the main series. That has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a lesbian. She’s just a jerk, and usually not in a way that’s at least entertaining enough for me to like her.

Also keep in mind that this is just the main cast of the main series games. If you were to include characters from the DR3 anime, UDG, or the spin-offs, the Gay, Lesbian, and Ace categories would get more rep, certainly. Think Juzo, Yui, Takemichi, that gay guy with the trumpet, etc.

With that said, let’s go through the list:

Gay

Not gonna lie, one of the reasons why Rantaro is here (and not in Ace) is because of ships. Though I do sometimes ship him with girls, canon suggests he’s not interested in dating girls, and most fans seem to headcanon him as either gay or ace because of this, so I respected that. That being said, I also acknowledge he’s a very popular character in mlm ships, and at the time I was putting this together I hadn’t gotten to Taka yet so the Gay tier was still empty, and Byakuya was already sitting in Ace, so all of that swayed me to putting Rantaro here instead of Ace.

Taka was much easier to place here. He strikes me as a closeted gay man who probably doesn’t even realize he is gay. “Hey, let’s all hang out in the bath, guys! Getting naked is essential to form bonds with your fellow man! No need to be ashamed, it’s tradition!"

Lesbian

Again, ships. I only ship Hiyoko with one other character, and as soon as I say that you already know who she is.

Bisexual (Male Preference)

Akane is mostly here to account for any wlw ships I may have of her (e.g. Hina, Sonia maybe). Obviously she has a thing with Nekomaru, so Male Preference.

Chiaki is here for the same reason as Akane. I’ve shipped her with characters like Sonia and Ibuki before, but she really digs Hajime.

Chihiro honestly could have been anywhere in the Bi and Pan sections, but I ultimately went with Male Preference because of ships, specifically the fact that outside of the more... R18 circles of the Interwebs Chihiro tends to be shipped with guys more often than girls. Also doesn’t hurt that my OTP is Naehiro. I mean, have you seen how often Chihiro blushes around Makoto? (There’s more to it than that, as I’ve covered in the past. I’m just trying to add more fuel to the fire.)

Himiko is probably one of the few characters that isn’t here mainly because of ships. I do think she has some attachment towards Tenko, but I also get “I’m uncomfortable around her” vibes from her, and there are moments where she seems to crush on Kokichi (of all people) so that’s why she’s here. Still very much bi, though.

Hina has a crush on Makoto and has a complex around wishing she was more feminine so she can attract boys. So why isn’t she in the Straight section? ...Because Sakura, duh. And Kyoko too. And any other wlw ship you can think of that might work with Hina.

Honestly if it wasn’t for Miu I probably would have considered putting Kokichi in Gay. Again, while shipping plays a big part of my choices here, much like with Rantaro I have no qualms with putting a character in a tier that contradicts any ships I might have with that character, if those ships aren’t something I’m super invested in. This is a very important distinction, because it’s why I let ships sway my hand for so many of these even if I am also okay with going “Just because I ship this doesn’t mean I headcanon it” as I did with Rantaro. And honestly Kokichi’s ship teasing with Himiko does come off as more trollish than a sign that he’s into her, but he really gets into his back-and-forth with Miu, in my personal opinion, and he gets into it far more often with her for that matter. It’s why it’s one of my favorite ships for both of them tbh, and it’s because I like the ship so much that I just can’t ignore it for this sexuality headcanon tier list.

Maki... is here because of ships (e.g. Kaede).

Sakura... is here because of ships (e.g. Hina). ...What, you were expecting me to put a guy in the example? Remember, she has a boyfriend in canon.

Sayaka... is here because of... NOT ships, but DRAT. Yes, really. (”We really got down and dirty, Naegi-kun.”)

Sonia... strikes me as someone who swings both ways. I can’t describe exactly why I feel that way, but yes.

Bisexual (No Preference)

Celeste wants a harem of vampire boys but shipping her with Kyoko is also very popular and honestly i feel like it would fit her character. She’s got a look that says “I could get any ass I want and I know it.”

Ibuki is decked out in blues and pinks, and also I ship her fairly evenly among both boys and girls. She just screams bi icon to me, more so than any other character in the series.

Junko is either bi with no preferences or pan. She is an equal opportunity heart-and-soul-breaker and lust-for-despair machine.

There is no Mukuro in this list, but honestly I would probably put her where I put Junko anyway.

Kaede... is here because of ships (e.g. Miu, Maki)

Honestly I had no idea where to put Kirumi, so I just randomly chose one that I wouldn’t regret later if I ever put more thought into who I shipped her with.

I’m pretty sure Nagito being bisexual has some degree of canon attached to it??? I think??? I’m not entirely sure tbh, but fuck it. I’m doing this for fun anyway, so this doesn’t really matter.

Shuichi, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. I also find him to be more shippable with guys than the other two protags, so IMO he has no preference.

Toko might have a thing or two for pretty boys, but... Komaru, I mean, this isn’t exactly shocking, I don’t think. Probably was closeted before she met Komaru. I mean she did focus on Hina’s boobs a lot in DR1, let’s not forget.

Tsumugi, much like Kirumi, is here because I haven’t put much thought into her ships.

Bisexual (Female Preference)

Gundham has a thing with Sonia in canon, but I can see him being bi. So... yeah, ships again.

Hajime, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. It’s just that his Chiaki and Mikan game is just too strong.

Hifumi might claim to only like 2D, but his interest in Chihiro both in human form and computer program form (and the fact that this didn’t go away after the gender reveal) places him here.

Kaito strikes me as a closeted bisexual. The kind that could start any given conversation with “I’m not gay, but...”

Kazuichi also strikes me as a closeted bisexual, only his “I’m not gay, but...” is rooted more in dumbass than it is in systematic homophobia.

Korekiyo... is here because of ships (e.g. Rantaro).

Kyoko is bi as fuck, and I can see her having a preference towards girls in particular. She gets shipped with girls a lot (e.g. Celeste, Hina, Yui, and even Junko and Mukuro), and when she is shipped with boys it’s usually just pretty boys (e.g. Makoto, Byakuya, Ryota, Shuichi, and, depending on your interpretation, Chihiro). Also note that aside from Makoto and maybe Byakuya, Kyoko’s girl ships are far more popular than her boy ships. Just something I’ve noticed over the years.

Leon... is here because of ships (e.g. Chihiro).

Mahiru is here because I’m pretty sure she has a thing for Hajime in her FTEs, but obviously she tends to get shipped with girls more often (especially Hiyoko), and I agree.

Makoto, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. It’s just that his Kyoko, Hina, Sayaka, and Mukuro game is just too strong.

Mikan may be interested in Hajime somewhat, but her obsession with Junko cannot be ignored, no matter how much some of you may want to.

Mondo is another character that strikes me as a closeted bisexual. He is said to strike out all the time with girls, so I do think he’s attracted to women. And I do get some vibes that he’s attracted to Chihiro pre-reveal. And if circumstances had been different, I imagine he probably still would have been post-reveal. But obviously it’s his bond with Taka that I feel cements his sexuality in, at the very least, an mlm category.

Tenko... is here NOT because of ships, but because I’m pretty sure she’s at least sort of interested in Shuichi because of some canon thing... and also I don’t want to put her in Lesbian just because it feels like I’d be stereotyping the Lesbian category if I do that. If we were to compare her to the character that I did put in Lesbian, Hiyoko doesn’t treat people like shit because they’re men, she’s an equal-opportunity asshole. Still not the best representation for lesbians by a long shot, but at least Hiyoko doesn’t follow the stereotype of a man-hating lesbian. She’s just like that, and that’s okay. But putting Tenko there, especially if she’s shown some degree of interest in a male character at some point in the game, just rubs me the wrong way personally, because it would feel like I’m ignoring canon just to stereotype her. But that’s just a personal hang up of mine. No disrespect intended toward anyone who genuinely feels that Tenko is a lesbian. Maybe you see something there that I don’t, and that’s perfectly fine.

Pansexual

I don’t remember exactly how her FTEs went, so I’m not going to get into that, but Angie just comes off as pan to me, like gender doesn’t fit into the equation at all for her.

Gonta I can see as either pan or ace. I feel like he wouldn’t care about gender, and honestly the only reason I decided to put him in Pan rather than Ace is because of that scene with Miu.

Imposter is not only pan, they are currently OT3ing it up with Ibuki and Ryota as we speak, and that’s a fact.

Keebo... is mostly here because of ships. A lot of ships, actually. Mostly male ships (Kokichi, Shuichi, Kazuichi, and, depending on your interpretation, Chihiro) but there’s also Miu to consider. And the Miu game is SO strong that I put him in Pan instead of, say, Male Preference.

Just gonna lump them together because I have the same thing to say about both of them: Miu and Teruteru would **** anything that walks. What did I censor? Well, I’m doing the Nier: Automata thing, so you can put whatever you want in there and trust me, it would probably fit, for better or for worse.

Ace

I know this is an unpopular opinion, because Naegami, but I just don’t think Byakuya is interested in anyone, at least not in that way. He might be fascinated with how common people live, because it’s so foreign to him, but that’s about it.

Straight

Even though I do ship Fuyuhiko with some of the boys, his Peko game is so strong that honestly I can’t see him actually dating anyone aside from Peko outside of some very niche fanfiction.

Honestly, Hiro was another one that I was just like “I have no idea what to do with you.” I think maybe his team up with Kanon made me eventually choose to put him in Straight? I don’t remember. I clearly didn’t put much thought into Hiro.

I really only ship Nekomaru with Akane, so that’s why he’s here. I’m sure if I dive deep enough into my psyche I can pull an mlm ship with Nekomaru in it out of my ass, but like Rantaro that wouldn’t be significant enough to change anything.

Peko is in the same boat as Fuyuhiko. I have shipped her with girls before, but her Fuyuhiko game is just too strong.

Ryoma had a girlfriend once, and as far as I can remember he didn’t really seem interested in anybody in the game, so that’s all I have to go off of for him.

-----

So there you have it. Explanations for literally all of them! Explanations that were definitely not pulled out of my ass as I was typing them, nope, certainly not. Definitely won’t be tagging all of them, but I may tag the ones with the longest entries. And like all the tier lists I’ve done, this was just for fun and honestly any opinion I have for any of these characters could change at a moment’s notice because my brain is fickle like that. Tried my best to make sure that every tier had at least one character in it, but I did so without trying to force characters in places that I personally did not believe they should go. I hope you all enjoyed my dive into this area of fandom that I rarely dive into (the LGBT headcanons, not the ships, obviously). It was a lot of fun, and hopefully it will stay fun and not result in angry anons blasting me for my opinions. I am grateful that this never seems to happen to me, but I’ve seen it happen to others and I know what Tumblr is capable of at its worst. These are just headcanons and a matter of personal opinion, and if you disagree with them, that’s perfectly okay. Your feelings and opinions are also valid.

#dangan ronpa #tier list #rantarou amami #kiyotaka ishimaru #hiyoko saionji #chihiro fujisaki #himiko yumeno #aoi asahina #kokichi ouma #kyouko kirigiri #mondo oowada #tenko chabashira #kiibo #miu iruma #teruteru hanamura #ended up tagging anyone who (at least in the editor) has four or more lines of text in their entry #or in hiyoko's case because i mention her a lot outside of her entry

62 notes · View notes

plounce · 4 years

Photo

what if gay CATS........... were gay PERSONS

(info on this au under the cut)

theyre all shitty young adults just kind of. getting through their early 20s as best they can. or as much as they can. maybe things will get better someday, but right now they’re kind of spinning their wheels

magic exists but like eh it’s not a big thing don’t worry about it. it’s around but like whatever. not many people have it and it’s mostly just like. a curiosity or a party trick

demeter and bombularina are together, tugger and mistoffelees are together, bombularina and tugger occasionally fwb, it’s cool and aboveboard and it’s all fine

demeter:

bisexual with a preference for women. 24 years old

semi-psychic (not as powerful as tantomile or coricopat). tends to have vague and confusing prophetic dreams

dropped out of grad school for sociology due to trauma and ensuing intensified mental illness. kind of bitter about it, but tries to get through every day. general anxiety disorder even before all that

very nervous around most men she doesn’t know & trust

currently working at a barnes & noble starbucks, which sucks. she recently became the assistant manager, which turbo sucks because now she has more work for only like a buck raise, but at least she’s getting reliable shifts

her go-to therapy is cutting her hair with scissors. her hair is fried to all hell from regular bleaching

she’s learning how to crochet because she’s decided she needs to do something physically productively creative with her hands to distract herself from Stuff

bombalurina:

bisexual. 24 years old

got her bachelor’s in english two years ago and hasn’t found a job in her field and has kind of given up on it for now

she’s been bartending for like four years, does freelance editing work on the side. will occasionally write listicles for clickbait sites if she needs extra cash

literally any extra money she can save goes to tattoos. her right sleeve’s almost done

has natural red hair but dyes it cherry red

a hedonist to cope but is also just a natural hedonist. likes a good bath

i know that like the typical thing fandoms say about female characters is “doesn’t take shit” for the girlboss points but she truly does not take shit anymore. she used to take people’s shit sometimes but at this point in her life she’s tired and she has a girlfriend to be protective of. she has a couple people whose shit she will take (mostly just tugger) but besides them (and having to practice basic customer service to keep her job) she’s tired of other people’s shit! enough!

my personal take on bombalurina is a mix between the riot grrrls of the 90s and 80s punk girls, and then a dash of the greaser chicks from grease. i saw that spiked collar and my brain went OH okay i can run with this somewhere fun. same for demeter, but less so - she just has the piercings.

demelurina:

bombalurina met demeter in college at a women’s activism club, noticed her because of her dimple piercings and was like “oh someone else with a lot of metal in her face, i’ll sit next to her”

they were each other’s first off-campus roommates and were close friends. made out a couple times, but it was mostly a lot of sexual tension. there was a lot of bombalurina staring at demeter while she or demeter made out with someone else

demeter was on and off with her high school boyfriend munkustrap and bombalurina was like “oh he’s so much more stable/calm than me and she needs that, i party a bit too much for her, i shouldn’t try anything” so she just sort of. lets their almost-there peter off

(this is all bombalurina’s internal thoughts - demeter always was interested in her, but thought she was too boring for bombalurina. so neither of them thought they could pursue it)

bombalurina graduated and moved somewhere cheaper further away from campus. they kind of drift apart

munkustrap and demeter peter off and he moves away for a job (they’re still good friends, it was a very amicable breakup) and then demeter gets with macavity, which is a deeply toxic situation for her and sucks hugely and throws her whole life really off track. won’t go into further details

she finally manages to break up with him and calls bombalurina at like 2 am asking if she can pick her up, and also if she can sleep on her couch, it’s okay if that’s not okay, she just. really needs a place she feels safe, and her gut is telling her to. and of course bombalurina says yes

bombalurina also knew macavity and had also made out a couple times with him at like parties and stuff (see: staring at demeter as she makes out with people). something about transference of feelings - bombalurina was into him for a couple moments because he and demeter had a thing.

this is due to me interpreting the song “macavity” as actually about bombalurina wanting to fuck demeter and her singing as a half-repressed expression of that. i use my really good wlw brain to reach that conclusion. it’s kind of a non-competitive version of eve sedgwick’s take on the love triangle. (<-- normal thing to say)

but anyway demeter stays on bombalurina’s couch and she tries so hard to stay on track but eventually she just has to drop out. bombalurina helps her with that too. she’s just really supportive even as demeter’s life is at its lowest point. when she gets home from bartending she gets demeter to go to sleep

she just Stays with her and makes her smile and reminds her that her life isn’t over, there’s still things in her day to enjoy, to keep her trudging forward

bombalurina is roommates with tugger at this point - he also recently dropped out and demeter knows him because he’s munkustrap’s brother, so he’s Trusted and also is like “hey it’s okay that you dropped out, im here and im chilling and you like me and respect me at least a little, and you have a bachelor’s degree at least!” (more on him later)

demeter is like “oh god ive been crashing at their place for so long not paying rent, theyre gonna ask me to leave, im such a freeloader, they wont take my attempts at paying rent” but then bombalurina and tugger are like “hey! the lease is almost up! we found a pretty good 3 bedroom, do you wanna have your own room for real?” and she nearly cries because 1. the RELIEF 2. oh my god you want me around???

cut to bombalurina helping demeter put together an ikea dresser (tugger got banished to the kitchen to make crystal light lemonade for them because he’s useless with a screwdriver) and demeter has two epiphanies:

1. i thought i was ready to d*e four months ago and here i am making a dresser to put clothes into in my new apartment where i live and feel safe and loved. im still not happy but im still alive and im making a dresser

2. holy fuck im back in love with my best friend, and ten times more than i was back then.

so she like kind of freaks out because she’s already imposed so much on bombalurina, how could she impose her FEELINGS on her like this, oh no oh no oh no

meanwhile bombalurina’s back in love with her even MORE and she’s also like no... she’s already dealing with so much... i don’t want to make her uncomfortable or feel unsafe in her own home especially after her recent relationship trauma... i just want her to feel safe around me...

you might think tugger as their roommate would be like “JUST KISS” but he is in fact pretty oblivious because he is self-absorbed. mistoffelees on the other hand..

eventually they do have a big confession of feelings after demeter has a bad day and it’s very dramatic and they make out in the rain. and it’s like. well this is a movie scene. but also im cold and damp. let’s head inside our home and get warm and dry :)

and then they go inside and and talk through everything, all their feelings (not just their romantic feelings but like ALL their feelings) and their shared histories and bombalurina is like “do you think you’re... ready for a relationship right now? like that would be a good thing for you?”

and demeter considers it. she does stop and think. and then she says, “with anyone else... probably not. but it’s you. and i feel so safe around you, and we’re already so close. you make the future feel more worth it. you make more days alive feel not just tolerable, but something to look forward to. and knowing you’ve loved me all this time... it’s nice. it’s good. i’m - i’m understating it so much, it’s more than nice, it’s just - it’s a lot. i wish i had noticed back then.” “hey, hey, don’t blame yourself. i’m the one who never said anything.”

anyway. everything works out, and they start dating for real :)

tugger:

bisexual. 22 years old

dishwasher at the same bar bombalurina works at. she got him the job. he keeps bugging her to teach him bartending tricks and on slow nights she will agree to

he dropped out of their four year, but he managed to secure an associate’s in communications before he dipped

trying to be an ig influencer hotboy and hopefully get modeling jobs from that but his phone’s camera sucks shit so his account isn’t really going anywhere. but he continues to post his low resolution shirtless selfies

trying to cope with being the failure son who does not have a fancy nonprofit job with a salary and healthcare by being self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing

it works about 60% of the time and 60% of the times that it doesn’t he’s able to hide it

he dropped out right around when bombalurina graduated and he was like HEY! ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE WHO DOESN’T CARE IF WE LIVE TEN MILES AWAY FROM CAMPUS? WELL HAVE I GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU: ME!

to which bombalurina (who has fooled around with him here and there and thinks he is funny little man and genuinely goodhearted, and also he has rockin abs as a plus) says munkustrap already asked me if i need a roommate and if i do to consider you, because you don’t want to move back home. in other words: yes, you little idiot

they do fool around with each other but they are both very understanding that it is strictly platonic and for fun, especially once they become roommates. they both do not desire each other for anything serious

he did have a bit of a crush on each other when they met (hot punk older girl who’s friends with his brother) but 1. it dissipated pretty quick after they fooled around for the first time because it was not a very serious crush 2. she was in the middle of being in love with demeter so she was focused on that, emotionally

he got his ears pierced a couple times in high school but bombalurina inspired him to get a couple more. she went with him when he got his nose pierced

demeter has always understood that him and bombalurina are strictly fwb, has never been an issue.

she and him like to bleach their hair together when their hair schedules line up (he bleaches his way less often then she does), but she refuses to use his fancy conditioner that keeps his hair unfried because it’s expensive, even though he tells her to go ahead and use it, please, the health of her hair is giving HIM anxiety, demeter please. please demeter

mistoffelees:

gay. 20 years old

has magic. it’s pretty good magic but again: magic is not a big deal in this concept

a bit spooky. skulks around. a bit of a bitch but also very very nice. chooses when to speak

he has postings on craigslist and fiverr about finding lost objects and people with magic. like a gig economy private detective

side job is a waiter at a fancy restaurant

sometimes he gets paid VERY well from the private detecting, depending on the client. he does ask his psychic friends (tantomile & coricopat) to give a quick glance over on some of the more suspicious clients just to make sure he isn’t finding someone who should not be found by that person.

doesn’t go to college. is roommates with his sister victoria, who’s a freshman and studying dance. moved into town with her so she wouldn’t have to live in the dorms by having a guaranteed roommate.

tuggoffelees:

the general vibe i want for these two is mistoffelees walking around town or driving around in his shitty toyota camry while tugger tags along because he’s bored and thinks this is cool as shit

the general tone of the au is “magic isn’t a big deal” except for tugger, who thinks mistoffelees’ magic and his magic freelancing is the coolest shit ever. this is mostly because he just likes mistoffelees. “there are people who can do cooler shit than me, tug” “yeah but i don’t KNOW them also theyre not as COOL as you” “you had to explain to me how instagram reels work”

idk how they met i just think tugger shows up at his and bombalurina’s apartment one day (this is when demeter has moved in but they havent moved to the 3br yet) with this dude to dash in and pick something up and bombalurina is like “uh. who’s this” “oh this is mistoffelees he’s SO GOOD AT MAGIC” [mistoffelees nods hello] “okay bye bombalurina see you at work!!!” “uh. later”

after that he just shows up a lot. sort of ambiguous if theyre dating or what for a while before bombalurina straight up asks like “hey does the dude you’re dating know we fool around” “the dude im - what?” “... the little magic guy who keeps using our hot cocoa mix. misty.” “oh. uh. we aren’t dating.” “... do you want to? because you’re kind of all over him constantly” “um. well! haha, if i wanted to, i could! haha!” “yeah get back to me on that”

tugger trying to use his ig clout to get mistoffelees more work even though 1. he has no clout 2. mistoffelees has a very stable client base. but mistoffelees appreciates the effort. the self-promo guy promoing someone other than himself... the highest expression of love...

mistoffelees is A Nonthreatening Man plus he’s pretty obviously gay so demeter is chill around him pretty quickly. when mistoffelees is over they’ll sit on the couch where demeter sleeps and watch documentaries quietly while she crochets

they both occasionally say spooky shit at the same time because magic stuff. bombalurina and tugger are both torn between “that was cool as fuck” and “god that’s unnerving”

just a lot of tugger following mistoffelees around on his jobs and mistoffelees letting him because he’s fond of him and them occasionally getting into minor peril and interesting shenanigans, but it is 90% fetch quests

i think the first time they met tugger was taking selfies in front of a hydrangea in a public park and he saw mistoffelees walk up with a shovel and start digging in one of the flower beds and he thought he was hot so he went over and offered to take over on the shoveling to look strong and masculine and he ended up digging up a skull, which mistoffelees picked up and said “thanks” and then walked away

mildly terrifying but also very interesting and tugger’s days are kind of boring and dishwashing kind of sucks as a job to do like every night and he is a person who thrives on novelty so. moth to a porchlight

i think they do start making out for fun here and there and then a while later theyre out on one of mistoffelees’ jobs and someone asks “who’s the guy with you” and mistoffelees replies “oh that’s my boyfriend, don’t worry about him” and then it’s like. “HUH? I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND?” “uh. yeah? i assumed. is that okay?” “i mean yeah of course i think you’re great! how long have we–” “oh like a while.” “oh. uh. cool!!”

they just hang out a lot. mistoffelees enjoys teasing him and enjoys his warmth and bombasticity and tugger likes watching and helping him solve little mysteries around the county because it’s always something new. they’re kind of a comedy duo. they just enjoy spending their time together and following mistoffelee’s internal magic gps to find lost dogs and lost necklaces

yeah right now this au is just vibes and just sort of. continuing forward with your days and your weeks and your months. just young adults hanging out

#cats the musical #mr mistoffelees #rum tum tugger #demeter cats #bombalurina #tuggoffelees #demelurina #chirps #bird in the hand

110 notes · View notes

bisluthq · 4 years

Note

Hey! I'm fairly new here and I have a pretty uncommon take on Kaylor. But I just wanna start off by saying I try my best to be as supportive of LGBT people as possible and if they're both bisexual, then I would be 100% okay with that! I'm not trying to "defend their heterosexuality" or anything, I think that's really weird

Okay, so my personal theory is that Kaylor did happen, but that Taylor and Karlie are both straight. I know that might sound contradictory, but I say this based on my own personal experiences based on how I am with my best friend. I think Karlie and Taylor's relationship might have been similar in some ways to ours

Right, so I'm straight and I'm not into women in the gay kind of way (but it's completely cool that some girls are), and I have this roommate who's gorgeous. Really gorgeous, she's like a 10/10 "I would sell my kidney to look like you" kind of girl. She's very attractive, she has like tan skin and long legs and gorgeous brown hair and pretty eyes and nice lips and just like… she's just very good looking. I'm definitely jealous of her body, I won't even pretend I'm not 😪 I lowkey hate her because of it (jk)

We've been living together since not long before COVID started, and we're very good friends. There were three of us before, but our other roommate went back home to stay with her parents until in person classes are back on and we agreed to it and worked something out because she has really bad anxiety so we understood her reasoning for it

Anyway so it's just been us two and because we've been at home a lot during this time instead of out for most of the day like before, we've gotten to know each other a lot better and have become a lot closer. We were already friends from before, but now we're like super close besties, we've been hanging out a lot together and playing board games, watching movies, helping each other with essays, just having long conversations about anything and everything, etc

Like it's been so nice having a best friend that I can be this close to now because I haven't had a best friend since I was a kid

So my friend and I were having like a conversation last year about how hard it's been in quarantine not being able to go on dates and how we miss kissing people, and so we decided to just like, make out for fun you know. I mean, there's not really anything that's inherently romantic or sexual about making out, that's just society that says that. But tbh I think making out with your friends if you want to should be normalized, it's fun and it can even be emotional sometimes. It's not that different from hugging people

After a couple of weeks or so, I think we got bored of just making out with each other and decided to like, fully hook up. It started off because we were modelling lingerie for each other for banter and were pretending we were each other's runway judges and then I think we just decided to hook up with each other as like part of the whole "game". I can't remember who initiated it now, I think it might have been me as a joke lol

Like just in a platonic way for fun, as a kind of substitute until we can go back into society

And tbh I always expected hooking up with a woman to be like mediocre and boring and awkward, but although it was a bit hard to get the hang of at first and there was a learning curve, it's actually very enjoyable. Like I was very surprised actually at how hot it can be, I think I can maybe see why bisexual women and lesbians like doing it

Anyway we both liked it and we just carried on hooking up on the regular and it's been like 8 months now and tbh I just think it's very sweet and heartwarming, like it actually makes me feel a little emotional how we're close enough and care about each other enough that we can even help each other out with the physical intimacy side of things so that we don't get sexually frustrated while we're stuck in lockdown

I just think it's really cool and we even sleep in the same bed most of the time now because tbh what's the point in sleeping alone when you can sleep in the same bed as someone else? It's nicer, like you can cuddle and stuff

Anyway, I think that maybe Kaylor's relationship might have been similar. I think they're both straight but they became really close friends in a short space of time, and that their friendship was so intense that it became physical but in a platonic way

I think lesbians and bisexual women are amazing and I have so much respect for you guys for accepting yourselves in a society that tries to erase you, and I think there definitely needs to be more wlw representation on TV and in movies

But at the same time, I would also like there to be more close female friendships like the one that me and my friend have where you can just talk about everything together and do things that society usually reserves for romantic partners, but in a platonic way. Because female friendship is really important and beautiful, whether that's between straight women like me and my friend who I think is probably straight too, or between queer women because one thing I've learnt during my short time on this blog is how queer women can have very close platonic friendships with other queer women too

I think society just has overly strict ideas of "straight" and "gay". Like for some people, they would hear about two women sleeping together and think "Oh that's gay", but not necessarily because straight women can enjoy sleeping with other women too, like it's normal 🤷‍♀️

I think it's just a result of women being a lot more physically beautiful than men are, like straight women really got the short end of the stick tbh compared to straight men

I also think it's because women are so oversexualized in the media, and obviously straight girls see that too and so we sort of internalize that attraction to women because we're so used to seeing women being presented in a sexual way? Except it's not real attraction with us like how it is for queer girls

Like I'm very much "attracted" to my friend, she's genuinely stunning and just very hot tbh. But I still identify as straight because it's just a case of what I mentioned above, it's a "fake" attraction. And also because men are afraid to compliment other men because it's seen as "gay", but women can be fully confident in their sexuality and still recognize other women's beauty and sex appeal. You see it all the time in instagram comments, and I really love how we're all so supportive of each other like that

Like I can be fully confident in my sexuality and yet still say that some women like my friend are gorgeous as hell and also 100 times better looking than most men I've seen. I'm very much obsessed with some women's appearances but in a platonic way

And I just love the concept of "girl crushes" and I think that from a feminism viewpoint, it's beautiful that we're focusing on other girls and showing love towards other girls too, instead of just to men who, let's be real, don't even fully appreciate it half of the time

I am going to be sad when we all have to return to life as usual and my friend and I won't be able to spend as much time together anymore. I'm dreading it tbh, I don't want it to end yet. And it really sucks that the physical side of our friendship will probably have to stop too once our other roommate comes back because I think she'd definitely misunderstand the situation and think it's something different than it actually is if she ever saw us kissing or something. I really am going to miss it a lot though, I really like how things currently are and it's just really really nice and I don't want it to change :/

Btw I'm sorry if I sounded fetishistic or offensive with any of this, I just get a bit jealous sometimes that you guys get to date girls and we're just stuck with men. Honestly if it wasn't for all of the homophobia and the struggles that you all have to face and the fact that it would feel disrespectful to the LGBT community, I would probably really wish I could change my sexuality to be bisexual or gay instead because I just think women are better. Sometimes I really do wish I was into women in that way because dating girls just sounds so much more appealing to me (in a non fetishizing weird way) but unfortunately I'm stuck with dating men 🤦‍♀️ But I also know I'm lucky and privileged to be straight even though most men are mediocre and kinda gross and I don't mean to be disrespectful because I know you all have to face homophobia and other LGBT difficulties and it really sucks, people are awful. There's nothing wrong with women dating women or men dating men at all, society is just ugly and bigoted

Anyway, does anybody else have a similar sort of take on Kaylor where they think they could have both been straight and just had a very close friendship with a physical side to it? I think it would explain a lot. But like I said, this is just a theory of mine based on my own situation, and I'm also open to the idea that it was an actual relationship and that they're both into women for real, not just fake "into women" like I am.

Also pls feel free to call me out if I accidentally said anything offensive towards LGBT people, I tried my best but if I made a mistake anywhere pls let me know and I'll avoid it next time!

You’re not offensive. Please stop apologizing. And we’re gonna come back to the Kaylor stuff another time because... Honey. You and I need to have a conversation for a bit.

So firstly, I’m not trying to like “diagnose” you and at the end of the day it’s your choice what you want to call yourself but... tbh you might not be straight. Sexuality is fluid not static and exists on a spectrum not in absolutes. It’s not like it’s straight, 50/50 bi, gay and you’re born knowing and there’s no room for anything else. That’s not true. There’s a lot of room in between all of these and labels can change over time. We’re people, not cereal brands, and sometimes we don’t even KNOW the word for what we might be. I’m tagging a tag for you from when we asked people to share their label journeys for you to see. It’s not simple or easy and it’s not just because of external stuff - it’s because figuring this out internally is HARD. If you found yourself having such an intense friendship it became physical, repeatedly, you liked it a lot, you still sleep in the same bed and continue to share all your thoughts and you don’t want any of that to end... I’m not sure you’re Kinsey 0. And I think you might lowkey have a girlfriend dude.

You can obviously prefer men but like... hun I reaaallly don’t think you’re completely straight.

Also: it’s okay to say “I see myself winding up with a man and this is a situationship for right now!” but that doesn’t make you straight because again, sexuality is a spectrum and you can manifest a particular kind of endgame while experiencing other things along the way.

But here’s where you really got me: “most men are mediocre and kinda gross” and “women being a lot more physically beautiful than men are, like straight women really got the short end of the stick tbh compared to straight men” because that’s the kind of thing I used to say in my Bi 1.0 era before I ID’d as a lesbian for a bit and before Harry Styles (KING 🥺) made me bi for real. Hun, no. Straight women like men. Tbh BI women like men. I genuinely, unironically, find Harry and Timmy and Matt Smith to be sexy beasts and I would do dirty things to the former two but maybe not the latter irl in 2021 but yes also him if I could be on that Spain trip with him and Karen where they got sloshed and which I think of often. These men are genuinely fucking beautiful to me in the same way Taylor is and Di Silvers is (okay she’s prettier than all of them but like same ~vibe) and like Megan Thee Stallion is and Indira Varma in everything but especially GOT and Gillian Anderson and Keira Knightley. Like those women are HOT to me and SO. ARE. THE. MEN.

Straight women find SO MANY DUDES hot. So many. Starting from objectively pretty options I just cannot personally understand like Chris Evans all the way through to bitches who are outchea simping for wrestlers and Cole Sprouse. Do I understand? No. But like... that’s straight girl culture and ours is not to judge.

If you’re struggling to find men hot then... you might be gay.

Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “fake attraction”. Like queer women - especially femme women which I assume you very much are - experience the same kinds of feelings straight girls do. We have women we want to be like and look like and find enviable (me and Oenone Forbat) and women we find aesthetically gorgeous (me and Anya Taylor Joy) and we have extremely close female friends who we can spend hours on end spilling our guts to - as you say female friendships are truly special - and without going into personal people that you don’t know, that’s me and Cam and Sim right? I literally talk to them for hours. Like those are not gay feelings. And yes we can chat about those kinds of feelings with straight girls and call them “girl crushes” and not immediately get “caught out” because they experience this exact shit too.

But here’s the thing. They never do and I don’t want in the cases above to fuck these women. It’s not sexual.

The moment I can actually imagine fucking the women in question that’s... gay.

Like it’s not “fake attraction” it’s literally just gay. That’s how we desire women. We want to fuck them. Not all women. Not always. But sometimes we want to get under or on top of one and just really truly fucking make each other moan with pleasure.

I have no idea if Karlie or Taylor are into women. They could both literally be straight. I have no idea.

But I have a better idea about you.

Hun, you’re fucking your roommate/best friend and don’t want to stop.

You’re not “into women”.

You’re into this woman.

And possibly into women more generally.

So I know it’s weird to have to be the one to tell you this, and if you want to keep chatting via anon or in my DMs or if you want me to try collate resources for you from around the web but...

Like.

Dude.

You’re a whole ass part of the rainbow.

Welcome to the community you thought you weren’t a part of earlier today 🌈 ❤️

It’s nice here, sure there’s homophobia, but at least we get to fuck girls and man is it good.

#agony aunat #share your label journey #roommate anon <3

32 notes · View notes

twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Note

🍇 Bucky and reader listening to Fearless (Taylor's version)

We just realized we haven’t been tagging people in the blurbs we’re making, no wonder why no one’s reading them JDSJDSJ SORRY -Danny

This was a great idea so we did two versions, lol. Mine’s under the cut -Val

(Danny’s version)

“So she dated Joe Jonas, but she broke up with her over the phone?”

“Yeah.”

“And this song is about that?”

“Yup.”

“My God, poor woman,” Bucky leans back on the couch, eyes fixed on the ceiling. “I hate men.”

“Don’t we all?” You tilt your head to face him. “And now she’s rerecording her albums because another man stole her work.”

Bucky shakes his head. “In my times we were gentlemen, I don’t know what happened to the kids nowadays, they’re a bunch of little assholes...”

“In your times there was no phone, grandpa,” You snort, “and men would constantly take the credit for women’s work. You just didn’t know it because women had no voice to speak against you.”

“What do you mean you had no voice? Carter was there!”

“Yeah, and she was still disrespected sometimes,” You raise a brow.

“Alright, alright, I’m not gonna start the ‘not all men’ argument, I’m not an idiot,” Bucky makes a vague motion with his hand. “Now shut up and let me listen to Taylor.”

“I thought you only liked 40′s music?” You tease.

“Taylor is timeless, baby.”

"How was your date?" Wanda asks as soon as she sees (Y/N) enter the room. Wanda, Clint, and Natasha are sitting on the couches in front of the television.

(Val’s version)

The girl sighs and sits in an individual armchair.

"Good, I guess."

"Oh-oh. That bad?" Clint asks turning off the tv.

"But you and Trevor have a lot in common and he's a gentleman!" Nat says with a frown. "I thought you would be a nice couple..."

(Y/N) growls sinking her body into the couch.

“Damn it, I thought he was the one. His eyes were beautiful,” adds Wanda.

"Yes, Yes. He’s beautiful, chivalrous,” She thinks for a few minutes and laughs a little. “He’s sensitive and so incredible...” She sings, “He says everything I need to hear, and it's like I couldn't ask for anything better...”

The others look at her confused by the change of mood and the melody.

“He opens up my door and I get into his car, and he says,‘You look beautiful tonight’ and I feel perfectly fine...”

"I don't get it," Clint whispers to the girls.

(Y/N) ignores them, she gets up from the couch and continues singing as she walks to her room. The volume of her voice increases in the chorus.

"But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain — And it's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name! So in love that you act insane! And that's the way I loved YOU!"

Bucky gets out of his room when he recognizes the voice. (Y/N) moves strangely while singing.

"Breakin 'down and coming undone! It's a roller coaster kinda rush —And I never knew I could feel that much — And that's the way I loved you! " The girl points at him and goes into her room, closing the door behind her.

Bucky frowns.

"Hey, Bucky" Wanda greets him, coming to his side. "You heard her?"

"Uh, yeah – what's going on?"

"I'm not sure. We just asked her how her date went and then she started singing."

Hearing the word date, Bucky stiffens but tries his best not to change his expression.

"You should talk to her," says the redhead.

***

"Why do you decide to attack me now?" Tony growls.

"Nobody is talking to you, Tony," says (Y/N).

"Yeah, we're just counting on how many women you were with before Pepper," says Wanda laughing.

"I feel attacked."

"Ok then, after the blonde from Vanity Fair," Wanda points out looking at Pepper.

"Uh, I think he tried to flirt with Natasha when she was undercover," All of them laugh.

“Couldn't you think of anything other than sex, Stark?"

"Oh sure. As if you don't want the same. I don't force anyone, girls,” He argues. “Also, I always made sure they had their clothes clean and sent someone to take them home. I’m not a monster."

Pepper and Wanda laugh out loud and the man looks at them confused.

"Oh, it's like that song, (Y/N)!" says Pepper.

"Mr. ‘Insincere apology so he doesn't look like the bad guy’ He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name... Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same!” The girl sings.

"Hey, whose song is that?"

"What? Reminds you of someone?" Wanda jokes.

"Hello Mr.‘ Perfectly fine’! How's your heart after breakin 'mine? Mr. ‘Always at the right place at the right time,’ baby — Hello Mr. 'Casually cruel' Mr. ‘Everything revolves around you’! I've been Miss 'Misery' since your goodbye...”

“And you're Mr. 'Perfectly fine'!” Now all three sing at the same time.

Tony snorts and walks away.

"I love when he reacts like this," says Pepper.

"Barnes!" Bucky moves the book out of his hands and looks at Tony.

"Now what?"

"What the heck is happening to the girls?"

"Why are you asking me?"

“Oh, I know that (Y/N) is behind all this and now the others are on her side, singing and laughing and attacking me. I don't like it,” He ends.

“And why don't you go to her and ask her to stop? I don't understand why you expect me to talk to her."

“Don't be silly now Barnes, we all know that she has you wrapped around her little finger. So fix this!"

"What? That’s not true!” Bucky defends himself feeling his cheeks burn.

"Fix.This.Now"

***

“There's something 'bout the way... The street looks when it's just rained —There's a glow off the pavement, You walk me to the car And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there, In the middle of the parking lot, Yeah... Oh yeah,” Bucky listens from the other side of the door. He knocks twice and the voice stops.

"Hey, Buck," says (Y/N) her hair is in a bun, she wears a white shirt and shorts. Her breathing is heavy, but she greets him with a huge smile.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I was just-" she points to her room.

"Singing," He smiles, "I noticed."

She blushes a little.

"Uh, what’s up?" She leans against the frame.

“Uh, nothing important, I just wanted to- uh. Talk to you.”

"Okay," she lets him pass and they both sit on her bed. “What do you want to talk about? Another nightmare?"

"No," he fidgets. "The others asked me to talk about something you've done."

She frowns but understands immediately. She rolls her eyes.

"It was Tony, right?"

“Also Clint and Natasha. At first, they didn't tell me anything, but since the time you made Steve flustered and nervous with a song, they asked me to."

She laughs out loud, he does too, it was quite funny to see his friend so red.

“I don't understand what's wrong with it. They’re only songs!"

“Maybe it's the fact that they’re very specific, I don't know. It doesn't bother me either,” He confesses.

"Really?"

They both look directly into each other's eyes.

"Of course not. You have a beautiful voice."

She blushes again.

"Uh, thanks," she laughs nervously. "Do you want to hear more?"

Bucky nods and she connects her phone to her speaker and the song ‘You Belong With me’ starts playing.

Bucky is silent, listening to the music and lets out a laugh when he recognizes that it is the same one that she had sung to Steve. (Y/N) couldn't be happier hearing Bucky laugh.

"Who sings?" He asks. The girl lowers the volume.

“Her name is Taylor Swift. This was one of her first albums, but she has been recording them again due to some problems she had,” She smiles.

"I like it — and it's incredible how you manage to use the songs for any situation,"

She stares at him for a few seconds. She has an idea, but she’s afraid that maybe Bucky doesn't understand it or that he might even make fun of her. But at the same time, she thinks about the lyrics of the song and knows that it is the right one.

"I can think of one for this moment, do you want to hear it?"

"Of course."

She selects the song but keeps the volume low so Bucky can hear her voice.

"It's the one I was listening to before you came in," She adds. She skips the parts as she watches Bucky focus on the lyrics.

"But you're just so cool... Run your hands through your hair,” She brushes Bucky' hair and he stares.

"Absentmindedly makin ' me want you — And I don't know how it gets better than this... You take my hand and drag me head first, Fearless — And I don't know why

But with you I'd dance in a storm, In my best dress —Fearless."

"Wait," Bucky interrupts.

"I feel safe with you, Buck," She says before he can say anything else. "I know there are more songs in which I could tell you how I feel about you, but listening to it... my mind always goes to you. I'm fearless around you. And that's something very useful, you know, because of our work—"

Bucky's lips against hers prevent her from continuing. The kiss is slow, neither realizes that there’s now another background song. Bucky pulls her into sitting on his lap, holds her by the waist, and when they part they’re short of breath. They both smile.

"Can you sing more for me, please?" Bucky whispers into her lips.

"Of course. I have a lot of material,” She jokes.

Requests are still open!

Marvel Taglist.

@poetryislife0715 @skittles-skittles @lauramacch @hufflepuffzutara @yourbonesareinmybody @silenthappyplace @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #twoidiots writing #500 followers celebration

6 notes · View notes

whelpokaythen · 4 years

Text

hey if you are a part of the lgbtqa+ community please read

*and give some advice if you’d like, i dont feel like i have anyone else to talk to about my sexuality — please be nice*

so i’ve been questioning my sexuality since i was 13 and identified as bisexual at age 17 came out to my friends as bi at 18 and now im 21 and questioning again (which im aware is perfectly valid :))

although it was known to me before, and when i was younger, i cant help but continue to find that people everywhere talk about sex all the time. it feels as if it is the only thing that is worth living for. i assumed it was because of how in today’s society we live with hyper-sexualization in media but now im not so sure.

so i thought maybe i just have a low libido like maybe it’s a side affect of my depression or something else medical but then i had a thought that perhaps, i am asexual

and over the past few weeks i’ve read alot of articles about asexuality and some make me feel like that label could apply and others make it sound like it’s not quite “me”

like yeah we could have sex or we could go to the aquarium, y’know? like as long as im spending time with you

so because my mind has gone dizzy in circles around the deciphering of my sexuality i decided to list the things i know for fact (because what else is there to do besides overshare on the internet to a bunch of strangers?)

i find some men attractive

i find some women attractive

i find some non-binary people attractive

i’ve figured out my “types”

personality of a partner is important but i think looks are important too (thats not shallow, right?)

the thought of sex sounds intimate and i would like it to be taken as a serious and personal moment, at least for the first few times

after dating someone for a while i’d like sex to be fun and funny and less intimate but also sometimes romantic and intimate

(dont know if this is because i am a virgin but) i will not have sex until im sure we could date a long while or until it feels right

i do not desperately crave sex

but the concept of it sounds nice

i do not masturbate more than like once every two months

i read and enjoy gay/lesbian/straight romance fan fiction (usually slowburn haha)

i’ve kissed people before

i like kissing people

i’ve cuddled people before

i like cuddling people

i am a virgin

the thought of oral sex is not appealing to me what so ever :/

i am a cis woman

i am also comfortable with labels such as gay (as an umbrella term), bi, sapphic (sorry if i use that wrong but it’s a comfortable label to me), femme, and now ace feels pretty comfortable too

and i’ve thought about demi-romantic which kinda fits but it doesnt seem right either depending, again, on the definion

basically i feel like a three way venn diagram

and i dont even know if this is a thing or if it is valid which is why i bring my case to tumblr so maybe someone can help or bring advice/comfort

like some people can be straight and ace right? so i can be bi and ace?

it feels safer to remain where i am under the bisexual umbrella but now that ace sounds safe too and oh man i just run myself in circles. then i breathe and i realize in the long run that the only title that really fits me best is “Me” so as long as i know that i’ll be alright :)

#whelpokaythen #me #bi #bisexual #demiromantic #asexual #ace #lgbtq #lgbt #thoughts #homosexuality #femme #gay #lesbian #validation

30 notes · View notes

zanrai-kid · 4 years

Text

Pride Question Day 10: Write a letter to your younger self.

Hey, buddy. I don’t know how to accurately tell you this, but the signs were there. Whether it was when you lip synced to Britney Spears and Macy Gray at six years old, or started practicing flute in 3rd grade when most boys your age were taking sports (intramural soccer league was still fun, though).

When you were diagnosed with depression in sixth grade, it hurt. My goodness, it hurt. You remember distinctly it was when you couldn’t laugh at Cartoon Network anymore. It hurt to see humor but feel nothing. And yes, this was caused by the fact that sixth grade is designed to make or break people, and if any amount of mental instability is present, you are cast to the winds, forever that weird kid. By the way, challenge classes are for the most part a scam. If you want to challenge kids, have them learn about pertinent American history or financial stability.

You also learned that sixth grade is when the terrors come loose. Some of the absolute worst of human nature can be condensed into one calendar year of education. That’s when kids learn from their parents the most, and that means homophobia. You’re got called gay and kids played playground games with names that upset you. It should upset you. You’re weren’t “sensitive”, and you’re weren’t a “crybaby”; you knew this is wrong.

All the while, you got fed a steady diet of “let’s not talk about the gays” from your parents. You had two uncles who just wanted to show the world what they meant for each other who will eventually get married. You weren’t stupid, and you weren’t blind, but ultimately, looking back, I think high school was a defense mechanism.

There you were, online charter school, with no one around but your parents. Of course your views would reflect the world around you. Youth group also does that to people. You said you’re “politically incorrect”, but what does that really mean? It just means you were trying to be an adult. An edgy, stupid adult.

Community college was easy, but it was the first time you realized maybe you aren’t the new hotness. Maybe you should do better. Just maybe.

It wasn’t until university where your whole life stretched out ahead of you that you realized something. There’s something called LGBT, and it basically means that other than straight and gay, there’s a whole host of interesting things you can be. Crazy, I know! So while you shuffled on your way to classes, just remember that towards the end of your college career, you found femme men attractive. V E R y attractive.

And then comes the end of 2015, where you tell yourself, “I think I know what I am. I’m bisexual.” You still like women, and you know it, but you wouldn’t mind dating a man.

So, where are you now? Kinda wishing the world would cool it’s jets and take care of racism, like why are we still entertaining the whims of racists. Also, a plague!

In all seriousness, the next four years will be difficult. Really difficult. But here’s the thing. When you manage to dig yourself out of this hell and find the strength to tell the world, “You don’t dictate me, or my sexuality,” that is what true power sounds like. That is what real strength looks like.

I’m proud of whatever your doing, be it showing off to the world, surviving, coping, using defense mechanisms, or coming to terms with who you are. Right now, things could be better. But you now have the capability and the strength to show anyone that you are more than your depression and anxiety. You are an accomplished musician with several albums released. You are a caring and nurturing friend to those around you. You love your godson. You enjoy DnD and animation. You think Legend of Korra shouldn’t be trashed (shout out to LoK for giving you the world bisexuality). You still practice your religion but know that the dogma does not influence your views. You like men more than women now, but you don’t mind dating either. In fact, you’re good to date anyone regardless of gender! And yes, there’s this neat little thing called pansexuality, but for the record, you like knowing you’re bisexual. It’s the label you fought for, and no one can redefine what you are. Shout out to the pansexuals tho.

You also have a loving friend who wants to take you on a date for the first time, and he’s the same one you’ve had eyes on for two years. You are bisexual. Be proud of that. You’ve earned the right to be proud.

#whatsnewpride #day 10

11 notes · View notes

thisiswhatwereupagainst · 5 years

Text

The Forgotten LGBT Characters of 1990s Marvel Comics

Hey X-Men fans! It’s still June, still Pride month, so I wanted to talk about three lesser-known LGBT Marvel characters. They’re very obscure, and they’re all also all from the early 1990s. Like Mystique, one might consider them pioneers of Marvel becoming inclusive of LGBT people. Unlike Mystique, no one really knows about them, as they never became major players (far from it, in fact) Be warned, two of them are villains and very much products of their time and the unfortunate way that society was still treating LGBT people; Marvel was starting to include them, sure, but in very demonized, stereotyped ways. But problematic or not, they existed and they’re close to my heart, and I’d like them to be remembered by a greater amount of fandom. Who knows, if enough people like them, maybe they will come back in canon one day and be treated with greater sensitivity!

Shinobi Shaw (bisexual) - Shinobi Shaw appeared as the young estranged son of Sebastian Shaw, who abused him terribly as a child. While he looked pretty badass at first by killing his father (it turned out not to take, alas) he spent the rest of his time being pretty much a joke as a villain. He preferred to just get drunk and hang out with a bevvy of hot men and women than really do any villainy, and what villainy he did commit was largely limited to trying to get X-Men he liked (Warren and Storm) to join him. Seriously, he sent Warren an invitation to a Hellfire Club party on a PERFUMED card with a LACEY border written in LOOPY PINK INK, and wanted him to be his White King. He totally had a crush on him. Jubilee drives it home with a “Liberace” comparison just in case that was all too subtle for readers. And of course he was attracted to Storm because...STORM. All bad guys like Storm! That’s not where the hints of bisexuality end, though. And by “hints” I mean “on more than one occasion he’s surrounded by men and women who are in various states of undress” like basically the art is trying to tell us that he’s in the middle of an orgy at any given time. At one point, his butler asks him if he’s having oysters or snails tonight, which is an old-timey way of saying “women or men”, and Shinobi replies he thinks he’ll have dinner first, just so the readers are sure he AIN’T talking about food here. Also he dresses in a purple pirate coat and lilac pinstripe pants. I don’t like stereotyping but COME ON GUYS. Fashion bicon right here! Shinobi is definitely and blatantly depicted as bisexual, but he’s really not what could be called good bisexual representation. He’s not only a villain, he’s played up as simultaneously despicable and ineffective, as too effeminate and damaged (his status as an abuse survivor is not treated sympathetically either) to be any real threat, but still as disgusting nonetheless. He’s also depicted as something of an attempted sexual predator, but also as, again, not really enough of a “real man” for it to be scary, just gross. He’s also played up a LOT as a decadent hedonist obsessed only with pleasure, which is an age-old stereotype of gay people and bi people both, but especially bi people. There’s a lot of problems with Shinobi. But he’s still a lot of fun as a character, at least to me, and the hints of how emotionally damaged he is from aforementioned abuse and the implication he may have a substance abuse problem and that all this decadence might just be his only way of coping because he’s clearly unable to connect with people but WANTS to somehow...there’s a great character arc here waiting to happen, if some writer only sees it. Those familiar with the far more famous Daken might notice some similarities in design; both are the eastranged predatory bisexual abused half-Japanese son of a burlier, hairier, pre-established white male character. Of course, Daken was far more competent and became a much more major, complex character. Maybe Shinobi was sort of his first draft? Who knows! All I know is that as of June 19, Shinobi has finally re-appeared alive in Uncanny X-Men #20, and I’m hoping for more shenanigans--preferably in the flamboyant bisexual disaster Shinobi style! Mindmeld (transgender) - Mindmeld appears solely in X-Force #62 as a bodyguard in the employ of Shinobi Shaw. No alternative name is given for her, and it’s my headcanon that “Mindmeld” is her chosen name as both a mutant and a trans woman. How do we know she’s a trans woman? Well, we don’t. But she’s drawn with the same body type and facial shape as all the male characters are, because this is comics and there’s one mold for guys, one for ladies. However, despite big muscles, a strong jaw, and a distinct lack of breasts, she presents pretty feminine, with makeup and a lot of jewelry. The other characters (the heroes, no less) express confusion about her gender, saying things like “Now, Mr. or Mrs. Mindmeld...” and “What is your real name? Pat? Chris?” (get it? those are unisex/androgynous names?) However, only “she” pronouns are ever used for her. Given all this, I think it’s fair to say that these jabs along with her physical appearance are meant to hint to the audience that she’s a transgender woman. She could fall into some other trans category, such as non-binary or genderqueer, but considering this was the 90s (when those identities were less known) and being written by straight cis guys (the least likely to know about said identities) I think that her being a pre-op/non-op/non-passing trans woman is a safe guess. My bet is that her presence was meant to add some shock value and play up Shinobi’s own bisexuality (since it’s a common misconception that a straight man couldn’t possibly be into a trans woman) In any case, she was short-lived and ill-treated by both the story and the other characters, but I find her intriguing. She’s also very important despite her obscurity, as she’s the first representation of a transgender mutant that I’m aware of that didn’t involve something like shapeshiting or or bodyswapping (though her powers could swap the brains of other people!) or being an alien with no knowledge of gender norms, or any other “explanation” that accounted for being trans that had no real-world equivalent. She just seems to have been trans in the way REAL people are trans, something that thus far no mutant I’m aware of (save for another one-time character, Jessie Drake) has been. And I think she damn well deserves some love for that. Plus look at her, she’s just cool! Nocturne (wlw) - Nocturne aka Angela Cairn (no, not TJ Wagner, this is a different Nocturne) is the only non-villain on this list, and the only one whose sexuality was treated sympathetically, perhaps because it was only hinted at and her story was told largely in metaphor. Ironically, she’s also the only chracter here who is not a mutant or an X-Men character, despite X-Men being the publication that’s supposed to be all about embracing the different and downtrodden. She first appears in the 1993 Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #13, and had a few subsequent appearances before disappearing from the page altogether. Angela Cairn was a police officer of Black, Cuban, and Native American (tribe unspecified) heritage. As a lifelong victim of prejudice, she joined the police in hopes of using the law to protect others from being victimized. She is implied to have been in a romantic relationship with a fellow female officer, Jackie Kessler, and the two may have co-habited. After Jackie is murdered in the line of duty, Angela went on the trail of a serial killer who she believed was the same supervillain that killed Jackie. Following a false lead, she was lured to a warehouse where she was trapped and experimented on by one of the nameless mutates created from humans by Baron Zemo. Unlike the other monstrous mutates, this one did not seek to return to human form, and, for reasons unknown, wanted Angela to become like her. As a result, Angela was transformed in the mute, winged, vampire-like being called Nocturne. No longer able to live in human society or even explain to others that she’s Angela, Nocturne becomes homeless and protects those who also live on the fringes of society, including a boy who is the victim of a gay-bashing. Her journey ends up being not a typical superhero tale, but an introspective single-issue saga of pain and self-acceptance. It’s told largely in what I interpret to be metaphor for coming to terms with being open about her sexuality only after she lost her partner, which I write more extensively about HERE, and I personally find it to be a surprisingly deep and nuanced story---especially for comics, which are usually about as subtle as an anvil when it comes to whatever social commentary they’re trying to get across (not that this is always a bad thing either!) Anyway, if you read this far, I’d very much appreciate it if you would reblog! I think these characters deserve to be more well-known, and I think a lot of people will enjoy seeing their representation, flawed and dated though it may be.

#xmen #x men #marvel #lgbt #shinobi shaw #mindmeld #Nocturne #Angela Cairn

56 notes · View notes

cupidmarwani-archive · 5 years

Text

Baby’s First Date

Summary: As Ethan struggles with coming to terms with his sexuality, there’s the matter of Crockett asking him on a date. (Baby’s First: Part Two)

WC: ~3k

After kissing Crockett, Ethan goes home to his apartment, feeds his bird, eats cold leftovers, and goes to bed. He sleeps fitful but long, and doesn’t feel rested when he wakes up and goes back into work. Nothing is different, but everything is. He can still feel the faint ghosts of Crockett’s hands on his cheeks, his chest against his own. The memory is strong and heavy, oppressive across his mind as he tries to go about his shift.

Crockett is there too, and doesn’t do a single thing to indicate remembrance of the moment shared, even when they cross paths working over the same shooting patient. Ethan’s hand in the patient’s body, holding his artery shut to stop the bleeding, Crockett pulling on gloves as he orders his trauma team to scrub in because they don’t have a lot of time, for some reason Ethan feels like this is the perfect moment to bring up the unspoken.

“Are we going to talk about what happened last night?” he asks as he walks along with the bed, still clamping the artery by hand. It’s a bad time. “Because I think we should.”

“Choi, can this wait until after surgery?”

Yes. Of course it can. He nods, and then someone who’s dressed properly for surgery comes and replaces his hand with the tool designed to do it better, and then he’s abandoned outside the glass doors with blood up to his wrist and a sinking feeling in his chest. Maybe Crockett is avoiding him for a reason, like regret. What reason would he have had to kiss him besides an impulse that may be embarrassing now in the morning after? Ethan hates that he even brought it up, and he hates more that he had welcomed the kiss so easily the night before.

Worst of all, he can’t forget Crockett’s words in the doctor’s lounge, about how liking men and women aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. But they are. And they aren’t. And he keeps thinking about Crockett’s lips against his own and how they had been so soft, so tender, but it doesn’t mesh with a life spent pursuing women and being happy with that. He hasn’t experienced this before. If he was gay, wouldn’t he have known sooner? Shouldn’t the realization have come in high school or perhaps even earlier? Gay people don’t realize this shit when they’re as old and world-weary as he is. He’s not having this crisis now.

That’s how he winds up sitting in the cafeteria, slowly eating yogurt, with Natalie sitting beside him and looking amused. She sees right through him, but he can’t help asking. There’s no one else to turn to except for Crockett, which doesn’t feel like a good or fun idea at this point in time, if he’s honest. That surgery’s been going on for at least an hour. If the patient dies because of Ethan’s delay to ask a stupid question, he might as well quit his job right here and now.

“You’re gay,” he says as an opener. “Right?”

Natalie shakes her head. “I’m bi.”

“Bi?”

“Bisexual,” she amends.

He considers that briefly, mind flashing a brief memory of Emily talking about this when they were teenagers. “So you like men and women?”

“Yes and no.” She shrugs. “I guess I’m attracted to any gender or lack thereof. But I have a preference for women.”

Ethan takes another bite of the yogurt, which has no discernable flavor when all he can think about is Crockett and the fact that he’s absolutely made a huge mistake in allowing what happened last night. Bisexual. He could be bisexual. But he isn’t, and he doesn’t know what’s going on in his head right now to have made everything spiral out of control in a matter of hours.

“I don’t know what I am.”

She rubs his back like a mother might, comforting her child in desperate need of someone to just tell them that it’s okay. Natalie’s always reminded him of maternity, even before Owen. “There’s nothing wrong with that. You have time to figure it out, and even if you never do, it’s okay.”

But he likes labels, neat little boxes to fit himself and his patients into in order to make the world a little less chaotic. Not knowing is going to drive him crazy. He needs answers, but he doesn’t have them and even if he was bisexual, that’s not something he’s necessarily ready to say for himself right now. He’s never thought about it before. He’s never been interested in men before, and he has this fear that it’s a one time thing, blown out of proportion from a moment of weakness and alcohol in a kiss that he can’t stop thinking about.

Natalie sits with him until he finishes his yogurt, and then he stays by himself until he gets word that his patient is out of surgery. Which means Crockett is also after surgery, and Ethan hates the inopportune time he chose to bring up what happened between them. He was impulsive. He was stupid. The entire walk back to the ED, he berates himself for his impulsivity, and wonders how badly he’s really fucked up when he arrives at his patient’s recovery room. Now the focus is his secondary industries, like the scrapes on his body and a long gash steadily bleeding on his leg. Stable, but not solved.

“He’s a fighter,” Crockett says as Ethan puts in the call to plastics for his leg. “Heart on us in surgery for a minute, but he pulled through.”

“I can see that, thanks.”

A hand, nearly burning with how warm it is, settles on the small of Ethan’s back as Crockett leans in close beside him under the pretense of observing the vitals closer. “You wanted to talk about last night?”

Yes. No. Maybe. He kind of wants to curl up in a ball and scream for the next ten years. Instead he nods and gets antiseptic on the patient’s slightly bloody cheek. It’s a good thing the anesthesia hasn’t worn off, that would probably hurt. Even the toughest have cried like babies when it comes to borderline road rash like this.

“Was I a good kisser for you, Choi?”

“That’s not the point.”

But yes. It was a good kiss, one that Ethan still craves.

“Then what’s the question?”

“What did it mean?”

Crockett breathes out slow, pulls his hand away from Ethan’s back, and offers him a smile like the sun. “To me? To me, it meant the first real connection with a person since I got to Chicago. I can’t tell you what it meant to you.”

Somehow, the answer feels evasive, and when Crockett leaves Ethan there, he’s gotten no satisfaction and no reprieve from burning curiosity and self-revelation twenty-odd years too far down the line. But Crockett did say enough to fuel more questions. To him, it was connection. To him, it was something. Which means Ethan can’t pretend it was nothing and move on, and he has to confront the way he feels out of nowhere.

What did it mean to him? This is a choice for himself to make, not to ask of Crockett because he isn’t going to be getting a solid answer. It had to have meant something if he’s still thinking about it the next day, still pondering its significance in his sudden questioning of something he thought he knew about himself.

Plastics arrives shortly to stitch up the patient, and then he’s off to the ICU, leaving Ethan to finish up some paperwork side by side with Crockett. The man radiates an ungodly amount of heat, enough for Ethan to feel it even with the inch or so between them. He should speak.

“Dr. Manning asked me how I managed to get you, of all people, asking her about bisexuality.”

“It didn’t have anything to do with you,” he says. Defensive. Obvious. “I was just asking her some questions.”

“Should I be jealous?”

Before Ethan gets the chance to answer, Crockett laughs. But it doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at him, just as a joke they’re both supposedly in on. And it has to mean something. Everything needs to mean something. He can’t keep drifting afloat like this with no idea what’s happening or what this stands for in terms of his sexuality.

“I’m not into Natalie.”

“Are you into me?”

Ethan freezes. It’s not as easy as that. And he can’t think straight with Crockett so close, smiling at him like that, their shoulders now brushing. Being put on the spot like this isn’t helpful in figuring himself out, either. Fuck this. Fuck Crockett.

Fuck Crockett?

That’s not a thought he’s even marginally ready to deal with right now, especially as Crockett sets a gentle hand on Ethan’s arm, just above his elbow. He’s so tender with him in every touch. It makes it harder.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry if this is- I’m sorry if-”

“I don’t know,” Ethan admits, and doesn’t pull away from the touch. “I don’t know if I’m… I just don’t know yet.”

Crockett nods and his hand dips down to touch Ethan’s waist. It mirrors the night before, the way Ethan touched him, and it makes him feel small in his own ED. He swallows hard. This is going somewhere. He’s not ready for it.

“Then how about I take you out for dinner this weekend? Somewhere nicer than Molly’s, and no pressure to figure things out. Take your time. I’m willing to wait.”

Time for Ethan to figure it out, but with the expectation that he’s going to decide he likes Crockett beyond amicable colleagues. No pressure. It’s a useless assurance. He should say no, avoid the trap brewing which Crockett likely didn’t set on purpose.

Instead, he agrees. Lord knows why, but he agrees, and Crockett promises to take him out on Friday. “I’ll pick you up and everything,” he says, after offering his phone number. “Just text me your address by then.”

Friday, only a handful of days away. Three, not counting today. Then he’ll be on a date with Crockett, and what’s the ettiquette for that, actually? Who pays? Do they split it? What if the date becomes a shared bed that night and regret in the morning. He shouldn’t have said yes, but it’s too late to back out now. Fuck his entire life. Three days to figure this out, or come up with some reason not to go. He’s screwed, isn’t he?

When he goes home that night, he spends two straight hours in front of his closet, trying to make a decision about what to wear for a date that’s days away. He looks good in navy, and Emily gave him a nice button down with white polka dots on it for Christmas a couple years ago. Maybe that one. Should he wear a tie? Should he wear slacks or dark jeans? Fuck. he hasn’t been this worked up about a date since he was a teenager having his first dinner and movie with the girl in his civics class. It’s because he doesn’t know the rules, he tells himself. He doesn’t know how this is supposed to go or what it might turn into, and he isn’t certain yet that he even likes Crockett. And as a rule of thumb, he doesn’t go on dates with people he isn’t sure he likes.

So Ethan gives his closet door a nice kick and changes out of his scrubs. Joggers and gloves. He can be productive with his nervous energy. After all, he has a punching bag up in his living room for more than just morning workouts. It’s to burn things like this off, and he can stop thinking so much about Crockett’s smile as he beats the ever-loving shit out of the red cover and makes his hands ache with the force. He should’ve wrapped them under the gloves. Too late now.

On Wednesday, he doesn’t see Crockett, and he wastes another evening on the punching bag.

Thursday, he’s only just taking off his coat when Crockett walks in and grabs his wrist, tender with bruises already, and lifts it up for inspection. “What happened here?” he asks, like it isn’t his fault. To be fair, he doesn’t know. “Get in a back alley fight or something?”

Ethan shrugs and pulls away.

“Okay, fine,” Crockett says, raising his hands defensively. But he’s still smiling like every single memory of him blaring in Ethan’s brain. It’s with that smile on his face that he leans in and smacks a wet kiss onto Ethan’s cheek like a child imitating cartoons. He laughs as Ethan wipes the space with a furrowed brow. “We still on for dinner tomorrow night?”

He almost shrugs again, but instead agrees and they make plans for seven. At seven, after they’ve had time to shower and change, Crockett will pick him up and buy him dinner and it’s actually going to happen. It’s going to happen, he repeats in a mantra all day, and all through the night and the next day as Crockett dances around him. They work. Crockett compliments him time and time again. And Ethan tries to hold himself together and avoid a complete panic.

Dinner is happening.

Dinner is happening, and come Friday night, he’s ironed his shirt three times before he finally puts it on and smooths it again. His hair is gelled. He’s even put on his nice cologne for the occasion. He just wants it to go well, but all the same, he’s terrified of what this date could turn into. Everything is moving too fast for him.

In fact, he tells his reflection, “This is too fast,” seconds before his door thuds in a heavy knock that he knows comes from Crockett’s fist.

He doesn’t bother calling out that he’ll be there in a second, just pulls the door open. Crockett cleans up nice. His hair has been styled, a crisp red button down clinging to his frame, cradling a bouquet of roses with the same bright color.

“For you,” Crockett says, holding them out. They’re beautiful, like Crockett’s smile. Ethan wants to scream. “Thought you deserved something as gorgeous as you.”

Fuck. Fuck. He takes them with a soft thanks and sets them on the table to set in a vase after dinner. Dinner, Crockett is taking him to dinner, and when they leave the house, Crockett wraps an arm around him, pulls him in close. He smells like spice and warmth, as opposed to hospital antiseptic and sterility.

“Have you ever been to that steakhouse downtown?”

“No.”

Crockett smiles a little. He’s always smiling. It’s always breathtaking. “Me neither. But it’s supposed to be crazy good, apparently it’s where Manning and Nurse Sexton like to go on their date nights.”

“They’re dating?”

“Yeah,” Crockett answers, fishing for his car keys. “Have been for like six months, according to Dr. Manning.”

Maybe Ethan should pay a little more attention to his coworkers who aren’t Crockett. He makes a mental note to talk to April, ask how things are going, and then banishes them from his mind as Crockett opens the passenger door for him. It’s a nice car, but not over-the-top luxurious, and it’s warm against the bitter autumn cold as they pull out of his complex. The entire ride is just Crockett talking mindlessly about how hard it was to find flowers “worthy of someone like you” in that heavy accent, smiling with his eyes as each word spills out.

Crockett leads him into the restaurant just as he guided him out of the house. Touchy, affectionate. He’s going to start crying. The restaurant is nice. Spacious, classically decorated, romantically lit. It’s nicer than anywhere he’s ever taken anyone on a date, even an anniversary. But this is a first date. And Crockett’s made reservations, so that they’re seated right away and a fancy waiter comes by with a bottle of wine he shows them before pouring into their glasses.

“This is really nice,” Ethan admits, taking a sniff before a sip. He’s not much of a wine guy. “Thanks.”

“Only the best for you,” Crockett replies. He’s got that smile again. “Baby’s first gay date.”

“I hate you.”

Crockett laughs. It’s going to become some in joke, Ethan already knows, and he’s annoyed but there’s a charm to it, the way there is to everything that he says and does. To the way he flags down a waiter to order, to the twang in his voice as he tells some story about partying in med school, to the warmth of his hand when he holds Ethan’s atop the crisp tabletop.

His chest aches when Crockett asks if he wants dessert. Something sweet to round out the night, fill them both with warmth, and he knows he has to admit that this is a lot for him. This is too much, too fast. He isn’t ready.

“I think the tiramasu is supposed to be good,” he says, pointing at the picture. “What do you think?”

“This is moving too fast.”

Crockett pauses and looks up at him. Eyes crinkling, a smile pulling at his lips. Not a bright one, just sad and a little bittersweet. “I get it.”

Somehow, this is worse than if Crockett was angry.

“Take all the time you need to figure yourself out,” he says. “If and when you’re ready, I’ll be here. And if you ever do decide you like men, just not me, that’s okay too. Thanks for coming out with me tonight.”

He leans over the table to leave a tender kiss to Ethan’s forehead.

“I can drive you home or call you an Uber, your choice.”

“I’ll take the ride.”

They don’t share dessert, and when Crockett drives him home, talking inanely about this or that, Ethan can’t stop looking at him. There is no kiss goodbye, kiss goodnight. Only him back in his apartment, the only other things worth notice being his bird and the bouquet of flowers waiting for a vase to support them a little while longer.

#charcel #ethan choi #crockett marcel #mine #fic #babysfirstfic

11 notes · View notes

technohumanlation · 5 years

Text

Whumptober Day 21

The ever so lovely @whumptober2019 made a list of prompts to complete every day for the whole month of October and I’m giving a shot at it this year!

Laced Drink

Characters: Nines, Gavin

Warnings: Attempted Date Rape, violence, swearing, blood

Give another round of applause for @deviantalicee for putting out this fire with gasoline a beta reading this. luv u hoe

Nines can’t remember the last time he had this much fun. Perhaps it was the fact that his definition of fun was strict and only a few things could make him smile. He was stoic, aloof and the serious type. That’s just how some people were. As Hank had once said, “knowing what makes you happy is all that matters.” A good book, a fast paced sparring session with Sixty, or a shower to be alone with his thoughts were pleasurable things.

Tonight was fun - is fun. Gavin and himself had set out to a local bar on a rowdy Friday night. A local band was also playing and providing entertaining music throughout the night. Everything was going well.

Gavin was on his second glass of whiskey, taking his time to loosen up and enjoy the night as well. His kisses tasted sweet against his tongue. These were the intimate, lovelier moments in which Nines craved. When the world was shut out and all there was was the moment between them.

His hand drew along his thigh reassuringly, turning to return watching the crowd. But, when he did so, a rather attractive android had bravely walked up to him.

Gavin was smart to look away and allow his android to figure this one out alone, much to his dismay. He only looked back at Gavin with confusion written on his face when she had taken him by his hands and practically dragged him to the dance floor. He raised his glass and ticked it to him unhelpfully.

She was gentle with her body as she danced and was truly a sweetheart in his eyes. But after a song and then two, Nines kissed her goodbye on the cheek and wished her night well. She wasn’t looking for anything and for that, Nines was thankful.

He walked back to the bar - a dopey smile on his face. It felt natural and relaxed, his LED spiraling a lovely blue. This night was wonderful. It was...the smile slowly fell from his face when he noticed that Gavin wasn’t where he had left him. As a matter of fact, he wasn’t at the bar at all.

His drink was left behind, the two ice cubes he specifically liked in his whiskey touching the bottom of the glass further. He looked up to the bartender but thought otherwise of his decision. There were countless patrons in the bar. Asking if he saw where a scruffy, hasn’t slept in four days, five o’clock shadowed man described about thirty percent of the people in here tonight.

Nines looked back down to the drink. Gavin always finished his whiskey. He never wasted a single drop. Perhaps he went for a bathroom break. But even then it was etiquette to place a coaster atop the drink to let the bartender know the patron would be coming back. Or to at least finish it because of certain precautions.

Unless. No . His chest tightened, ice shooting down his spine.

If he denied it, why was he taking the drink in hand and tasting it anyhow? His LED blinked a processing yellow as he swirled the drink in his mouth. It tasted of honey and stinging heat and the violent traces of rohypnol. A popular date rape drug.

The android slammed down the drink, causing people around him to look his way. This time he flagged down the bartender.

“Where is he ?” He muttered through grit teeth.

Gavin watched his android get pulled onto the dance floor by the pretty lady in black. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long while and he was glad Nines was loosening up and experiencing this as well. He watched as he danced with her for the first few moments before turning back around to enjoy his drink and perhaps check out a few men at the bar. It was alright to look but not touch. As for Nines, the android found that he leaned more towards men but liked women as well. Gavin on the other hand, enjoyed men only.

Despite Nines being bisexual oriented, he knew Nines was all his. Having him experiment with both sides was fine by him. So as long as he was the one in his bed tonight. Gavin took another swig of whiskey but it was short. Funny, his drinks were hitting awfully hard tonight. He placed the glass down onto the bar and swallowed the mouthful with a raised eyebrow and curse.

Well, maybe it was because he was drinking on an empty stomach. But then again, this was his second drink. Even if it was on an empty stomach, he would have only been buzzed. He purposely drank slow for this reason. His stomach churned and a sour expression came to his face.

“Hey, I’ll be back alright?” He told the bartender. “Just powdering my nose.” The guy tipped his head in acknowledgment and went back to pouring drinks. Gavin stepped off the stool, not noticing another man at the end of the bar step away as well.

Stumbling on the tilting ground, feeling the pounding bass of the electric song playing all too much, weaving through the swimming people, Gavin made his way towards the bathroom. What was just a rowdy Friday night at a local bar had turned into a night at a mirror house at a carnival.

He was no longer having fun. He pushed open the door to the bathroom, putting his whole weight into his hand and stumbled inside. Once there, he placed a hand to his forehead and groaned. The door closed muffling the rowdy sounds from the bar. He was getting dizzier. His thoughts weren’t coherent. Was he sleeping? Was he standing? Was he sitting? “What tha...?” He slurred.

The door opened again and Gavin turned around towards the distorted sound. He raised a hand in a halfhearted wave and smiled at the opposite shadow.

He went to speak an apology about the room being occupied at the moment but the shadow took him by his forearms and shoved the side of his face into the tiled wall, leaving his back bare to him before he had the chance to attempt the apology.

His mind was too cloudy and foggy to comprehend what was happening. Not even common sense made sense. What his mind tried to comprehend fizzled into sleepy blank thoughts. Deep down he knew something was definitely, absolutely wrong but whatever coated that worry was too thick to fight through.

He didn’t protest when a hand reached around him, groping his cock in hand. An involuntary shiver - one of the wrong kind - shot down his spine. He whimpered, trying to inch

away from the touch. It was bad. This was bad but the force behind him was stronger, or he was just too weak to fight back.

“We’re going to have a good time you and I.” The voice rumbled in his ear. Gavin tried to turn away but he was firmly planted into the cold wall.

The hand around him smoothed along his hardening length - body betraying him. He...he didn’t want this...

Behind him, the sound of a belt being fumbled echoed in his mind. He didn’t register it. Whatever blanket that fell over his eyes was thicker and clouded. He closed his eyes, mouth barely open to allow shallow slow breaths into his chest.

A murmur of sick sweet nothings. “God, I knew you had a big cock the moment I saw you.”

The body pressed closer into his. The sound of music flooding his ear. Something rigid poking into his ass, pressing harder, desperate. A door closing again.

And then...then nothing. The weight pressed into him was gone and Gavin slid to his knees with his head still pressed against the wall. Limply, he turned onto his ass to sit and looked up.

Another shadow loomed in front of him, heavily panting, fists by his sides and shaking. Nines stood before him in all his fearsome glory, LED at war with itself, fighting between red and yellow.

Against the back wall he wished it wasn’t what he was seeing. But, this was the reality that tonight had become. From fun to sickening filth .

He charged forward wordlessly, the fury, the absolute hatred and disgust for the thing before him taking over. All he saw was red.

He wanted to see another kind of red. His hand took a fistful of the rapists’ hair and ripped him off of Gavin, throwing him against the bathroom sink and mirror with a roar. The sound of glass shattering, porcelain and bone cracking, crashed and echoed in the bathroom. He turned, facing the human as he fell to the ground limply. Hot delicious satisfaction rose in his chest upon the color he desired seeping from the human.

But it wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough. The hells that Nines had in store for this pathetic excuse of a sentient creature before him would never be enough .

He wanted to tear him piece by piece, limb from limb and hear him beg. How dare he target his love? How dare he try to-!

Behind him, a meek, timid sound rose from Gavin’s throat. He turned around quickly and found tears to be prickling at the corners of his eyes.

He was quick to stoop down in front of him and hold his face ever so gently as if he were glass.

A quick scan proved that he was alright, despite the drunken stupor that the drugs had him under. His human tried to speak but a slurred version of his name and eyebrows pinching in confusion was all he could muster.

Nines nodded, though remained silent. Even if he didn’t want to, he looked down just in case anything had indeed happened. He needed to know. Thankfully, his pants were still zipped and secure. But, he was aroused against his will, anything further-he couldn’t bear the thought, causing him to hiss in anger. Gently, he took Gavin by under his arms and hefted him into a nearby stall. He sat him on the

toilet and leaned him up against the wall as carefully as he could. At least here he would be safe. “I’ll come back for you.” He murmured the promise before closing the door gently.

“But first...” His tone darkened, turning towards the sound of broken mirror crunching across tile. The human still had fight in him.

He barely could get onto his hands and knees. “What the fuck?!” He looked up, gritting his teeth in anger. Blood poked through his clothing and dripped from his nose and hairline where the sparkling shards were embedded in his scalp.

Good. He ignored his questions. Demanding answers from him was the least of his worries. Should have been anyhow. Nines took the remaining bounds between him with angry purpose. Before the human could recover or make a move to rush him, Nines stood firm, forcing a right hook downward into his face. As his head was turned away from the blow, he took him by a fistful of hair yet again. The shout of pain was all the android needed to shove his hand into his mouth and pull back. He yanked him back onto his ass, drool sputtering from the corners of his mouth as he shouted and clawed at his hand.

Nines kicked his arm, nose scrunching at the force he needed to use to rid of his oh so futile struggles. “Behave.” He ordered over the screams of pain, his voice coming from somewhere deep within his throat and chest. His hand fell away limply, arm broken irregularly.

With that, he turned, dragging him out of the bathroom by his upper jaw, leaving Gavin behind in the safety of the stall.

The hectic kicks and screams of pain were futile, comical, and pathetic. Now traveling through the bar, glances that were earned. First at Nines and then down at the human who’s pants slid to his ankles as he dragged him, revealing that his underwear was tented. Purposely slowly, he dragged him, revealing the crimes we was going to commit to those around him.

He looked ahead of himself with determination, face sculpted in that of emotionless neutrality. No one dared to intervene his version of justice. And if anyone did, they too would end up in the unstoppable storm that was he himself.

What he wanted to do to this human need not of prying eyes. So, when he finally made it to the back door, he kicked it open, the cool night air prickling his skin, he looked down to the human in disinterest before it was twisted into a grimace of strain as he hefted and hacked him out into the alleyway. Pained screeches left him as he tumbled, his arm flopping uselessly. He came to a stop against the opposite building. Nines closed the door oh so casually as he listened to the entertaining tune of rightful human suffering. He turned towards the man and began his prowl. Hunched over, breathing raggedly, he cradled his jaw. The android stopped just before him, silent, dangerous, anger rolling off of him. His hands flicked anxiously by his sides. In the darkness, his LED bled a different sort of red.

“Get up.” He ordered. His unwavering stance was shadowed by a flickering street lamp just nearby. Shadows danced over his darkening expression.

With no choice in the matter, the human struggled to do so, “L-look man, I didn’t-I didn’t know that-!”

Nines ticked his head to the side. “You would get caught?” He finished coolly, though his voice wavered with uncontrollable rage. Watching him attempt to pull his pants up with one good hand satisfied the sick side of him. Nines took a menacing step forward, hand

pushing the side of his face into the harsh brick. How he wished to drag it downward and grate his soft flesh against the porous surface. He entertained the idea but it wasn’t good enough. Nothing would ever be enough.

A sudden yell in protest and sobs that sprung from his lips caught him out of his thoughts. He ticked his head in interest.

“I don’t want you to beg.” He tossed his head aside, releasing the pressure from his face. Nines took a step back.

The human stumbled and leaned against the wall, cradling his cheek. He looked up. “Fuckin’ bastard!”

He flung a careless fist and Nines easily caught it in his hand. He twisted his wrist harshly. Not enough force to snap it, not yet, but enough for it to strain. “Oh?” A sudden right hook was delivered. A tooth was knocked free from the blow. Blood trickled over his knuckles, the white plastimetal showing through honey skin. He pushed him back uninterested and bored. “Fight.”

He snarled, cupping the blood that poured from his mouth. A messy cry of pain and frustration left the human. It was beautifully pathetic. He reached out to punch him again. Nines bared his teeth, taking his arm and twisting it downward, effectively dislocating his shoulder. He dropped him to the ground circling around him, like a shark with its prey.

“I said fight.” Hissed breaths were taken through his teeth as blood dribbled to the ground in a long string. “I can’t!”

“Oh? Just like your victims then...?” The best punishment was sick, unapologetic irony. The memory of his Gavin so small and scared pressed up against the disgusting tile of the wall, disoriented and confused.

His partner. His love. Anyone would be helpless and the being who caused such a delusional state for their own twisted fucked up pleasures would be punished accordingly.

The human looked up, his angered and broken face highlighted by shadowed light. “Fuckin’ android, what’s he to you?!” Blood mixed with spit splattered over his chin as he garbled out his words.

He was everything. The reason why he was deviant, the reason he smiled, the reason he came home to a warm bed beside him, the reason for his job, the reason for warmth and embraces, the reason to live, the reason to take a bullet without a second guess, the reason he fought to protect innocents, the reason to love, the reason to fight the reason-!

Everything.

Nines snapped. He planted a foot on his back and shoved him into the ground. His hands curled into fists by his side, shadows flicked over his darkening expression.

“You wouldn’t care. You wouldn’t understand . Couldn’t comprehend why because of how sick and melted your pathetic mind is. How disgusting and desperate you are for something that is only a fraction of what makes you human.” His eyebrows pinched together, scrutinizing the bug pinned to the wax that was below him. “No, you’re not human are you?”

And neither was he for this moment at least.

The human began to curse and fumble words that only an unintelligent hell-warped mind could produce. Enough. Nines dropped his foot, only to deliver the finishing blow. His foot cracking across the side of his head sent the man into unconsciousness. He took a step back and observed his work. Took sick pride in it. With a sneer of contempt, he looked away.

Whoever would find him wouldn’t know what happened. And he doubt the man could go to the police and confess. No one would believe such an aloof, controlled and accurate police android such as himself could perform such a brutal punishment.

Of course not. And that is what made him dangerous. Curiously, he looked down to his hands and body and then was on his way into the bar. The scene behind was forgotten. The worried glances sent his way were ignored. His knuckles were broken and bleeding blue, splotched with red against the white of his chassis. Only some blood splatter saturated his clothing and neck.

They did not matter so as long as he fulfilled his promise undisturbed and went back for Gavin. The night out was promptly ended. He brought him home.

When Gavin woke up, his mind was bleary and filled with cotton. Had he passed out? Did he get drunk last night? He didn’t remember much and when he tried to remember, he only recalled Nines running off with an android and then things got blurry.

Did he go home with her? Did he end up with someone? He finally opened his eyes and sat up and regretted doing so instantly. His head pounded and his stomach lurched violently. His eyebrows creased together in pain as he dug the heel of his hand into his eye. Curious enough he found it crusted over as if he had been crying.

Finally noticing the shadow that loomed next to him, he looked over and found the still form of Nines sitting on the edge of the bed.

“N-Nines?” He called out, his voice cracking. He cleared it, cringing as he swallowed sandpaper and tried calling him again.

There was no response from the android sitting next to him. Gavin blinked a few more times and swallowed thickly. His mouth was dry as fuck and his body felt heavy. His stomach felt raw and so did his throat. It was dry and raspy.

“Nines, I...don’t...?” Nine refused to look at him and Gavin couldn’t understand why. He tried following his gaze that led out the window but there was nothing. He leaned forward, the light of the room and the darkness outside allowing him to see his reflection of a face that portrayed no emotion. A red LED burned in the night.

“What happened?” He rasped. His stomach felt sick, if not a little heavy. He had never seen his android like this before.

That was a lie. Once and only once had he seen his android shut down like this. “Aw fuck..” He groaned, getting out of bed to sit at the edge next to his android.

He held his stomach and exhaled loudly and even then, Nines still didn’t move. “C’mon Tin Can, talk....” Gavin had enough of the silent treatment. He leaned forward, “I don’t know how to fix ya if you don’t fucking...” His voice cut out upon noticing the state of his android a bit closer. “...talk.” He finished lamely. His vision may have been blurry but the unmistakable color of red didn’t just come from his LED, it was across his clothing and skin as well.

Nines continues to not look at Gavin, a distant look in his eyes & Gavin glanced down to see Nines’ knuckles were white, the chassis beneath having blue seeping through the cracks.

Slowly, not knowing if Nines was an animal that could strike at any moment, he moved his hands forward and gently gripped onto the android’s own, damaged hands, swiping a thumb over the broken surface of his knuckles.

And still even then, the android didn’t react. What the actual fuck happened and why couldn’t he remember? Why was his android locked up like this. What happened?!

Gavin had to try another approach. He moved towards him shakily, cupping his jaw. “H-hey?” Nothing.

Why didn’t he clean himself off? Did Gavin beat someone up, did he- “ What happened ?” This time he begged. But as soon as Nines finally looked at him...

Oh. Oh God... He remembered now and the memory caused him to close his eyes and bite his tongue from truly losing his stomach. The android moved quite suddenly, startling him. Before he could react, he realized slowly that Nines was holding him close in a desperate and long embrace. It caught him off guard but fuck, did he need it. He was almost...almost-

“N-Nines? Christ. Oh, Christ I’m so sorry...” The human attempted to push him away to look him in the eye. To assess a starting point to where they could continue. To soothe, to cry, to yell. Anything. He wanted to know the story after he was out. After the drugs had taken him over. What... What became of the guy that tried to take him?

He felt his android begin to shiver against the desperate hold, reluctant and refusing to let go of him. The hold made his ribs and bones crack but Gavin gave up trying to pull away. “I-I’m here-”

There was a long silence, LED blinking red as Nines finally spoke. A barely there rasp in his ear, “I could have lost you.. I-I couldn’t lose you. I can’t .”

Gavin felt disconnected with the world in that moment, but he tried his damndest. He didn’t have to be face to face with the android to sooth the visible distress he was in. “Nines, baby, I-I’m okay- I’m okay. You got me. You got me...” Gavin mumbled, interrupting Nines’ own ramblings. He couldn’t quite figure out if he was convincing Nines or himself but neither were believing his bullshit words anyhow.

Even though he was fucking terrified & Nines was too, holding each other was all that was left to do. Not to mention Nines’ ability to scan & see Gavin was fucking petrified of what could have happened if Nines didn’t get there quick enough.

Finally, after a long moment, Nines pulled back and held Gavin’s face gently. Silver eyes flicked over his human before they locked with him. If this were any other moment, Gavin would confess just how much he loved him.

“I don’t want you to know.” He murmured. “I don’t want you to know. But know that nothing happened to you and I found you in time.”

“And what about you?” He brought his hand to his forearms, gripping them tightly. “What the hell happened?

Nines shook his head, muttering barely above a whisper. “Irrelevant.”

Whatever had happened clearly wasn't fucking irrelevant but Gavin was too hazy & tired to bother putting up a fight for answers. That could wait for later on, after the world stopped spinning and his stomach stopped curling in on itself.

There was a darkness in the android that held him so dearly as if his life depended on it, and, maybe it did. But, he supposed that it didn't matter. If Nines had said nothing had happened to him he believed him. He was grateful for his protection. No matter what Nines had done.

#Whumptober2019 #no.21 #Laced Drink #Attempted rape #Date rape #Date rape drug #violence #blood #DBH #Detroit become human #Gavin Reed #Nines #RK900

9 notes · View notes

timeisacephalopod · 6 years

Text

Bromance

Just a lil Tony/ Rhodey thing with sassy Sam because Sam is the best and also done with Rhodey’s total lack of romantic understandings.

Sam has three whole friends and he’s debating on throwing Rhodey in the ocean. “How many times have you slept together?” he asks. He needs to get this right before he puts Rhodey’s ass on blast.

Rhodey shrugs, “I don’t know, not that many times,” he says and Sam gives him a look. “Like, maybe fifteen times?”

He presses his fingers to his temples and shakes his head. Usually Bucky is his Idiot Friend but Rhodey... Rhodey is stretching his limits here. “Fifteen times and this, according to you, is a ‘bromance’?” he asks. Even Bucky isn’t that stupid.

“What? Its not a relationship I’m not even gay.”

Not even- Sam shakes his head again. “You know what we call a man who sleeps with men but is still interested in women? A bisexual,” he tells Rhodey. How the hell has this man not figured out that he might fall into a whole ass sexuality? How is he like this?

“But I’ve only ever been attracted to Tony,” Rhodey says like that’s a fact that fucking matters.

Sam lets out a long sigh because the world is testing him and he doesn’t know what he’s done to suffer. “Rhodes. Are you aware that bisexuals don’t feel things fifty-fifty sometimes?” he asks.

“Yeah, but like ninety nine percent one way? Seems fake.”

Oh the world just wants to watch Sam burn. “It happens all the time, Rhodes. You don’t fuck a man that many times and claim your straight, okay? At the very least your ass is heteroflexable.” Which, in Sam’s opinion, is literally just two percent bisexual but people will deadass sooner admit to being a unicorn than a bisexual. As a bisexual he’s damn offended by the bullshit ‘I don’t like labels but I’ll happily call myself a video game loving foodie from America because those last three things apparently aren’t labels’ talk. Happens all the time and he has no idea why bisexual became a dirty word. And also, this is key, Rhodey is being next level stupid.

“I don’t think that’s it,” he says. Sam longs, for probably the first time ever, for Bucky to be around.

Tony is attempting to fix a lamp when Rhodey comes home, grinning at him as he walks though the door. He walks over and kisses Tony, “what’s that?” he asks, hands on Tony’s shoulders. Behind them someone lets out a sharp wheeze and Tony turns to find a guy standing in the doorway staring at Rhodey like he’s grown a second head.

“A lamp. What’s that?” he asks, pointing to the guy in the doorway.

“Oh, that’s Sam. You’d like him, he’s a chemist,” Rhodey says.

“You’re in a whole ass relationship,” Sam says like this is a shocking discovery.

Tony frowns, “yes?” he asks more than states.

Sam presses his fingers to his temples. “Oh honey, he thinks this is a bromance,” he tells Tony.

Tony turns to look at Rhodey, who looks away much like a guilty dog would. “You... no homo’d... a gay relationship?” he asks, squinting.

“His stupid ass doesn’t think its possible to be two percent bisexual,” Sam says. “Do you know who raised him because I need to have a word.”

“Oh his mother is great, this isn’t her doing,” Tony says. “Don’t think this is the result of his father either, so he learned this on his own.”

“You’ve met his family? Rhodey, I have known you for four years and I haven’t met your family the hell are you on about, bromance?”

Well, the good news is that for once Tony isn’t the most clueless one in the relationship. Pepper’s going to have fun with this one. “I’ve visited his father’s grave too,” he says and Sam’s eyes all but bug out of his head.

“This is not a bromance. Also, for the record, known as a regular ass friendship. Why do guys go renaming already named things? Still, unless you make a habit out of making every friendship romance this is not a bromance or a friendship. Also for the record you are surprisingly cool about all this, I appreciate that because if I were you I would have walked out. Doesn’t even know you’re in a damn relationship.” Sam shakes his head.

Tony laughs, “I figured out that he’s a disaster bisexual awhile ago, I’m just waiting for him to catch up.”

“Disaster bisexual? No, he’s a dumbass bisexual and I’m offended he’s giving us a bad name.”

Rhodey sighs, finally finding his voice. “We don’t even do relationship things,” Rhodey says.

“We’ve gone to several luncheons together,” Tony points out.

“You used to go with Pepper and you two aren’t dating,” Rhodey says.

“No, Pepper gets her own invite and we go together because they’re business functions and we have no choice. You’re my plus one. You don’t bring friends to luncheons.” His mom has been harassing him about Rhodey for weeks now and he’s been waiting for Rhodey to pull his head out of his admittedly very well shaped ass. He didn’t expect his friend to pull his head out for him.

Rhodey looks to Sam for help but Sam shakes his head. “You don’t take friends to luncheons,” he says.

“You take Bucky to luncheons,” Rhodey says.

Sam rolls his eyes, “that’s like bringing your pet to an event. He’s cute so he distracts people and makes it so I don’t have to communicate.”

“How many times have you slept together?” Tony asks, familiar with this line of thought.

Sam waves a hand around. “Irrelevant to the story here,” he says.

Tony throws back his head and laughs, “I can’t believe I’ve run into multiple people who don’t know they’re in a relationship!”

“Am not,” Sam says.

“How many times do you come home and kiss Bucky hello?” Rhodey asks, happy to stick Sam in the hot seat instead of himself.

“It doesn’t count if you’re drunk,” he says and Tony snorts.

“Oh yeah, Rhodey said the same thing the first time we slept together.”

Sam makes an offended noise and glares at Rhodey. “What the hell man, I did not raise you to be like that!”

Tony snorts and laughs. Yeah, he likes Sam chemist or no. “Well, the ensuing argument led to round two and three and he wasn't drunk so that excuse was no longer valid.”

“He’s slept with you way more than fifteen times, hasn’t he?” Sam says and Tony squints at Rhodey.

He looks away, “that was maybe a bit of a... conservative estament,” he murmurs.

Sam rolls his eyes. “You’re dating, that’s that.”

“Fine, then you’re dating Bucky,” Rhodey says and Tony pulls his phone out of his pocket, knowing how to settle this easily.

The ringing of the phone catches both Sam and Rhodey’s attention. Tony grins when Rhodey’s mom answers. “Hey mama Rhodes, are Rhodey and I dating?” he asks and she sighs.

“Oh, baby, he still hasn’t figured it out yet? Got no idea why, he’s been lusting after men his whole damn life. I thought he was gay until he brought home a girlfriend at fourteen, then I thought he was confused but he stuck with it. He’ll come around,” she says comfortingly.

Tony grins, “well look at that Rhodey, you gunna call your mama a liar?” he asks.

Rhodey looks at the floor, “no, mama,” he murmurs.

“That’s what I thought. Call Sam if you need to, he’s emotionally aware of himself he might be able to help Rhodey out,” she tells Tony and he laughs.

“Oh he’s here and totally unaware he’s dating some guy named Bucky.”

She makes a confused noise, “the little Jewish boy from Brooklyn? Sam Wilson, you have been in a committed relationship with him since you two were fifteen. How are you unaware of this?” Sam gives Rhodey a ‘rescue me’ look but Rhodey leaves him to suffer. Tony grins because this is good entertainment.

#tony x rhodey #iron husbands #sam & rhodey #fanfiction #alternate universe

239 notes · View notes

almaasi · 6 years

Text

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x06 “Optimism”

bisexual DEAN + COCKS, I cannot believe that actually happened

02:03pm

i’m a day late but SO READY

charlie and sam!!!! i saw a couple promos, one with a screaming girl and jack and dean (oh whoop just typing that makes me think of the youtube duo jack & dean, somehow i never noticed that before??)

i’m having trouble looking at screens and stuff (vestibulitis, i believe) so i’m nauseous and dizzy, and just gonna take breaks as needed~

02:07

rEALLY like the visual and sound edits on the recap !!!

......one minute later as the recap ends, i realise how ridiculous it is that i’m like “hey!!! the people who make this show professionally actually made something good!!!”

02:09

............ARE THEY KIDDING

ANOTHER ONE???? STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT????

YEAH OKAY

I’M HERE FOR IT

02:10

AND THE MICHAEL HAT

what is going on

old man clearly has the hearteyes for the girl who says hello EVERY SINGLE DAY ..... just sayin

02:12

am i just gonna see this entire season as a series of destiel aus now??? because now girl-cas is sorting books in the library and i am PUMPED

you sort those books girl!!!!! yeah!!!!!

02:13

the frills on her shirt look like wings

uuugrhguh i love this ??? because in a weird way it’s soooo damn close to seeing cas in a different costume

WISHLIST: PUT MISHA IN A FRILLY SHIRT

also adoring the fact they’re just going full-out with telling stories through fashion here.

like. i am a fan

02:16

“arbour, it’s me!!!”

“winston, god”

wait wait i gotta check who wrote this.

ahh steve yockey, good

i checked because i was like “wait, that doesn’t seem like the deadly duo writing style, or name choice”

now it makes sense

.........well her name was harper but close enough

02:18

how dare all three of these incredibly white people be so cute? why

02:20

wiNSTON IS THE CUTEST MOST ADORABLE HUMAN ON THIS PLANET

but given the nature of this show, that makes me suspect he’s a vampire or something

02:21

ohhhhkay that’s the music and the sequence from that spider man movie

02:22

now i think he’s gonna die

like. immediately

he’s gonna get hit by a car or something

oh god i can’t look

02:23

................................yup

02:26

jack: “maybe i’m allergic to sitting around doing nothing”

he is so much like cas

02:26

dean: “cas is an insurance policy on those hunts”

OH GOD NOW I JUST REALISED HOW BADLY I WANT AN EPISODE OF JUST CAS HUNTING BY HIMSELF AND SOLVING A CASE ALL BY HIMSELF

also with jack. and with dean and sam. but CAS ALL BY HIMSELF

02:28

h e l p

02:29

jack: “we can be hunting buddies!!”

dean: “okay. A) don’t call it that--”

that little nervous huff though

WHY DEAN? IS THAT WHAT YOU AND CAS CALL EACH OTHER WHEN YOU NEED TIME ALONE? “HUNTING BUDDIES”

02:33

“DICK’S RED ROOSTER DINER”

tell me that doesn’t sound like five-star “eat some penis cock here” signage

and dean drives up with his manly phallic symbol

02:37

i love this woman for making dean make this face

02:38

I GASPED OUT LOUD

ANYONE WHO DOUBTED ME ON THE PHALLIC DINER NAME BEING A BISEXUAL DEAN THING, CASE IN POINT

THAT IS THE MOST PHALLIC NON-PENIS OBJECT I HAVE EVER SEEN

(i have so many questions. did someone find it in a thrift store and keep it for years until they found the right way to use it? did they get it made specially? THAT THING EXISTED FOR THIS EXACT PURPOSE)

THERE’S A CAKE RIGHT THERE, WHICH IS A DEAN-LIKES-MEN THING (VS. DEAN-LIKES-WOMEN BEING PIE)

AND HE PUSHES IT AWAY WHEN THE LADY IS LIKE “DATING VS SEX, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE THE SEX”

DEAN RESISTS THE SEX WITH MEN BECAUSE HE WANTS COURTING & DATING FIRST

WITH CAS

BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK ELSE

I am dying

this symbolism is killing me

great!!!! i want to place an order for 3000 more of these please, thank you, i’ll pay in cash

fyi there is no doubt in my mind that dean is bi and knows it. he’s written as bi, the writers know it, the directors know it, the set decorators know it, and jensen knows it (he’s intelligent and he has a dirty mind, he knows exactly what that cock means. like, neither dean or jensen need need to know what “bi” means or remember what the flag looks like to know the concept and experience occasional attraction to men as a part of his personality)

02:52

sam: “that wing man was you”

charlie: “no it wasn’t”

rainbow in the background behind charlie’s head

no worries, she may be a different person but she’s still gay af

02:53

the love of charlie’s life was kara/cara

i’m taking notes

C UPCAKE BaKERY !!!

02:55

oh “tara” not kara or cara

.......oh man that is the worst backstory :c

02:57

trust dean to be surrounded by cocks and be like “but i like pie women”

shoutout to that lil pink sugar box on the left

02:59

headcanon: dean sniffs cocks before he puts them in his mouth

BUT SERIOUSLY THEY HAD HIM PUT A COCK IN HIS MOUTH. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. VISUALLY. WE JUST SAW THAT HAPPEN WITH OUR OWN EYES.

WOMEN PIE IN ONE HAND AND MEN COCK IN THE OTHER ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I’M FUCKING REELING HERE

DEAN IS THE MOST BISEXUAL

HE STARTS WITH THE WOMEN PIE BUT THEN HE’S LIKE YEAH OKAY I’LL TRY THIS MEN COCK ... PRETTY GOOD YUP

I DIDN’T THINK THEY’D EVER TOP THE CAKE=MEN THING BUT THEY DID. THEY EVEN PUT THE CAKE AND THE COCK TOGETHER TO PAIR THEM TOGETHER AS SIMILAR METAPHORS (SEEN IN THAT EARLIER SCREENSHOT)

I’M NEVER TAKING CAPS LOCK OFF AGAIN

no but actually 911 hello yes this is obscene

sidenote, this is reminding me slightly of my destiel chicken au Roost

three guesses why

03:07

jack: “no, you back off, old man”

FOR SOME REASON I’M HARDCORE ROOTING FOR JACK RIGHT NOW

EVEN THOUGH THAT CLEARLY HURT DEAN’S FEELINGS

03:12

harper’s apartment is #2

two people, takes two to tango

two of cups in tarot is new love/romance/relationship/friendship

03:17

harper and jack getting along

was harper meant to be a cas parallel or was the trenchcoat just a visual thing at the start? because she wore a completely different coat when he brought jack to her place

i considered that her thing with the old man, paired with jack calling dean “old man” maybe made it a “dean’s getting older but cas is immortal” thing which makes me VERY SAD

did dean just call vance “archie” ? as in archie comics? as in riverdale?

i feel like there’s some form of symbolism in another man wrestling dean so he goes tumbling into a waterfall of romance novels

03:32

“a brass nail dipped in sugar water can kill it”

sooooooo... something brass covered in soda

(edit: or just shoot it, okie dokie)

03:37

harper: “it’s a little game we play”

well i mean... if you’re gonna be undead and magic, then this does seem like a fun kinky thing

seducing other boys and killing them

sure

03:45

dean: “you know, jack, you’re pretty smart sometimes”

yeah

i love them both <3

also when dean said “love gets crazier that that” i expected jack to ask dean if he’d ever been in love

03:47

OH MAN

that was a great episode 10/10 easily. my favourite episode from this season so far

my favourite part was dean + all the cocks

best part was sam comparing charlie to the musca and convincing her to stick around

i LOVED the two hunts, and getting to see two different teams doing unrelated things but enjoying both

i like that harper didn’t die

i love that charlie and sam saved the black guy and he didn’t die

idek what else to say, this was a fine piece of writing

and i can’t even complain about a lack of representation, really, since everyone besides dean/sam/jack either turned out dead or evil and that would just add to the representation problem

(BUT WHERE WAS CAS????????????? WHERE WAS CAS????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? LITERALLY DON’T EVEN KNOW)

I am worried about jack but know he’ll ultimately be fine

I WILL NEVER BE OVER THE BISEXUAL DEAN THING THOUGH

THAT WAS A PYRAMID OF PURE 22 CARAT GOLD AND I LOVE EVERYONE WHO HAD A HAND IN CREATING THAT FOREVER. especially director richard speight jr, since i have the feeling he mostly concocted this himself since it was 100% visual and maybe not even in the script and he’s done unscripted penis jokes before

#14x06 #optimism #Steve Yockey #Richard Speight Jr #Dean is bisexual #spn spoilers #season 14 #Elmie watches things #post of postiness #dick jokes

41 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 6 years

Text

Red Light - Chapter 2 (Trixya) - Arizona

AN: Yee haw country boyz. I’m back with chapter 2. I really hope you guys like this. I’m trying to develop Katya further by sign ~deeper into her mind~. Please let me know if you’re enjoying! as always, leave me a fucking comment I’m very lonely. xoxo Arizona

April 26th, 2008

The inside of Katya’s house seemed bigger than the outside. It had more windows than most the houses on the street which, granted, wasn’t much of an accomplishment, but it did a lot to free up the space. Katya lived a little farther southwest than Trixie, near the town. The houses were closer together; there was more than one grocery store in a 6-mile radius. It was nice, Trixie decided. She had never been to Katya’s house, in fact, she had only even seen her in person once since they met at Carl’s, but they had talked on the phone nearly every day since the encounter. As much as they talked, they never seemed to run out of things to talk about. Trixie would ask Katya for her opinions on song lyrics. Katya, in return, would tell Trixie stories about Boston, and how much she loved to travel.

“California is my favorite,” Katya said once night, as Trixie laid sprawled out on her bed, listening to the owls singing deep in the woods. “I want to take you to Malibu, you would love it there.” Trixie herself had never left the Midwest. She went to North Dakota on occasion for funerals and Minneapolis for her cousin’s graduation. It wasn’t that she felt trapped in Wisconsin, but rather that she felt she didn’t belong in a place that was bigger or more exciting. She wanted to, but she didn’t.

But Katya had a way of bringing Trixie’s imagination with her through all the places she had been, and Trixie was more than happy to come along. Both of them felt like they had known each other since childhood. Despite this, Trixie still felt a knot of anxiety in her stomach when Katya asked her to come over for the first time. She hadn’t grown up having a lot of friends, at least not ones that lasted, and committing to Katya’s invitation tasted too much like inevitable bitterness in Trixie’s mouth. But she did it anyway. She wasn’t sure why.

She also wasn’t sure why she felt so nervous about how she looked before hand. She must have changed her outfit seven times before settling on a 70’s inspired caftan and her cowgirl boots. Her thick blonde hair was still damp and she laid it down flat with a headband.

It was raining outside, but not hard enough for Trixie to put on a jacket. Her eyeliner was uneven, but she was running late, so she just left it and hopped in her stepdad’s truck.

Her blood pressure steadily rose as she approached Katya’s door. The yard was much cleaner than Trixie’s, she noticed. No piles of wood and scrap metal littering the lawn. No old couch on the curb, and no tattered American flag above the front doorstep. It was just a tidy, freshly mowed, albeit brown, patch of grass and a dusty orange door with a big bronze knocker. The doorbell was broken, so Trixie knocked and wrung her hands as she waited, shivering in the rain. She waited for nearly two full minutes and had half a mind to just go home before the door was plug open, causing Trixie to jump. Katya stood in the entrance, rubbing her hair with a towel and beaming at Trixie.

“Hey Trix! Get your ass in here, you look freezing!” she exclaimed. Trixie’s nerves dissolved almost immediately. Katya’s living room smelled like wet grass and lilac with a faded shag rug that Trixie dug her toes into as soon as she took off her boots.

“You wanna cup of coffee?” Katya asked. “It’s a couple hours old, but it’s the fancy Columbian stuff my mom likes. Trixie nodded and smiled. “How have you been girl?” Katya called from the kitchen. Trixie stretched her legs out on the couch.

“Pretty good,” she replied. “I mean not much has changed since we last talked.” She could hear Katya wheeze-laughing from the other room.

“You mean like 12 hours ago?” she gasped. Trixie couldn’t help but laugh with her. When Katya came back with the coffee, her hair was almost dry, but her damp bangs clung to her forehead in chunks. She wasn’t wearing makeup and was almost unrecognizable without her signature red lips and her black-rimmed eyes. Trixie found herself staring as the two of them sipped coffee in silence while the rain outside grew steadily more intense. “What’s up with you?” Katya asked. Trixie blinked in confusion. “You’re just a little quiet.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve just been thinking a lot.”

“What about?” Trixie felt herself about to get way more personal than was necessary, but she allowed herself over the threshold. Katya had a way of getting her to talk.

“You remember the night we met? And we were talking about your ex?”

“And I told you I’m super gay?” Katya interjected. Trixie nodded and laughed.

“I was just wondering….how did you know? Or when did you know?” She felt herself tripping over her words. “I don’t know what I’m talking about I just don’t know a lot of gay people.”

“Are you worried you might be a lesbo Trixie?” Katya lowered her voice and spoke in a ridiculous southern accent. Trixie laughed, letting herself feel less afraid.

“I mean…I don’t know,” she said hesitantly. “I wouldn’t say I’m worried. I’m just…curious? I mean…I’ve never had a real boyfriend.” She took a shaky breath. This was harder than she knew it should be. “I just…it’s a possibility,” she managed to get out. Katya stared back at Trixie with a look conveyed both understanding and concern. There was a strange silence that hung in the air as Katya looked Trixie up and down as if that would help her assess Trixie’s sexuality.

“Well bitch. You are in the right place,” she finally said. “My gaydar is almost always accurate and you my dear give off strong gay vibes.”

Katya had identified as bisexual for a long time, but after graduating high school had realized her attraction to women far outweighed her attraction to men. At first, this made her nervous. She was scared to admit that she had been wrong about her sexuality and that it really had been “just a phase.” For a while she slept with men just to try and convince herself that she still wanted to. But it never felt quite right. She would always leave in the morning feeling detached from her body, like she was looking at herself from the outside and all she saw was a pathetic, dirty husk. It wasn’t a lifestyle she could maintain. She started dating women. She had her heart broken time and time again, but it was always better than the alternative of feeling nothing at all. At least while she hurt she knew she was capable of hurting. Lately, she had been in one of those phases in her life. When she stepped out of a cloud of smoke and drug-induced haze and realized she was alone. That week she met Trixie. Katya didn’t believe in love at first sight, in fact she hardly believed in love at all, but seeing Trixie for the first time was probably as close as she was going to get. This perfect, picturesque girl, glowing gold against the night sky, had made Katya’s heart feel like it was taking a sharp inhale of fresh air for the first time in years. She hadn’t stopped thinking about her since. Which was why they were where they were now, at Katya’s coffee table, watching the rain paint blurry streaks on the window and sitting just a little too close together. Katya hated coffee, but Trixie made it sweeter.

“You think so?” Trixie asked, eyes wide. Not with fear, but with curiosity. Katya nodded and leaned back into the couch.

“Yes god, Barbara. No way in hell you’re straight,” she said. Trixie exhaled sharply.

“Damn,” she said. “That’s a lot to think about.”

“No rush,” said Katya. “You don’t have to label yourself right away. We’re all just meat sacks trying to get laid and kill time on this earth. Have fun with it.” Trixie giggle softly. Almost simultaneously, the two of them realized how close together they were. Katya had splayed her legs out across Trixie’s lap and though she was previously laying back against the arm of the couch, she was sitting up now, her elbow resting on the back of the couch behind Trixie’s head. She could feel Trixie’s hair tickling her fingertips and reflexively brushed it away from her face.

“I’m so glad we met,” Trixie said, smiling. It was in that moment that Katya wasn’t sure if her heart had stopped beating, or if, for the first time in a long time, it started again.

#trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #lesbian au #cisgirl au #almost angst #country boy...i love you #rpdr fanfiction #arizona #red light

19 notes · View notes

beyondthedreamline · 7 years

Text

what she says: I'm fine

what she means: So it’s interesting how the fact Loki probably had to have sex with Jeff Goldblum to keep himself alive and safe was both never made textual AND used as the butt of a joke (lol pun intended), because it doesn’t matter if Loki was sort of willing and it doesn’t matter if he’s sort of evil either - how can you give consent when you fall headfirst on a planet dominated by a psychotic pervert and why is sexual violence such a fun thing when it’s about men and this is James Bond all over again and how they inserted that ‘Maybe I got fucked before, you don’t know’ line during a high tension moment leading up to torture and possibly rape because that’s what’s fashionable now, gay subtext, amirite, which I’ve got nothing against but funnily enough it never seems to lead anywhere and hey, coming back to 'Thor: Ragnarok', isn’t it neat how the sexually ambiguous, feminine-coded brother ended up as a courtesan-slash-sex slave and the painfully straight übermensch brother got sent to the arena to fight and die and yay for novel and groundbreaking storytelling, right, because this is new, how women are sold into sex and/or need to pretend to be willing sexual partners to madmen so they have a shot at escaping violence and death while men are made to fight and somehow their kind of enslavement is recognized as terrible and tragic and something they're no part of, but women, eh, who can be sure about them, and my God, Loki couldn’t have been more stereotypically gay if they’d tried, I mean, Fashion-Conscious Drama Queen Initiates A Reign of Self-Obsessed Musical Theatre and how is that okay on top of Valkyrie, a canon bisexual woman, being coded as Thor’s love interest and also - #thor ragnarok #marvel #loki laufeyson #abuse for ts #rape for ts #negativity #imo this is the other problem with representation #we get one non white director #and we want to like him #we want to think he can do no wrong #but this movie #my god #it read like fanfiction #and not in a good way #also it was probably #the most misogynistic thor movie to date #just compare it with the first thor #where women were allowed to be women #also themselves #bc one thing i don't need #is women to get drunk and belch on screen #i mean sure #sometimes women do that #but this sudden idea #that feminist movies #need to have women act like (fictional) men do #well i hate it #sorry for ranting #but i do #i'd take a thousand jane forsters @awed-frog Okay, I reblogged the original post by @awed-frog but the text came out so strangely that it’s irritating the hell out of me, so I’m making a new post in the hope Tumblr doesn’t glitch it up too. This perspective on ‘Ragnarok’ is so interesting I have to respond to it, because I had completely the opposite reaction to everything! I loved the structure and pacing and the endless supply of in-jokes (the Douglas Adams reference most of all). This is a story with distinctly Antipodean humour, which you may or may not get – I sometimes struggle with the American humour in Marvel movies, different cultures tell their jokes different ways. The emotional beats were quiet and strong, trusting in the audience to understand their significance without overstatement: Thor going through funeral rites as best he can while imprisoned, Loki’s visible distress at the idea of Thor leaving him behind. There was also finally some solid textual support for Loki being more than a villain – which, given all the things he’s done to Earth, Asgard and Thor specifically, is no mean feat. I mean, at the point when you have a character who has faked his own death TWICE while trying to commit genocide BOTH TIMES, you have to lean hard into the inherent morbid comedy of the thing to keep it all from spiralling into cartoonish ridiculousness. I like Loki, largely because Tom Hiddleston has great facial expressions that can sell inconsistent characterisation, but seriously, it takes the actual apocalypse for him to step up and be useful. ‘Ragnarok’ reminds us that while Loki loves to play the victim and the martyr, he rarely is one. Usually, he’s the opposite. Trickery and charm are his great skills and as Thor pointed out, Sakaar was the perfect environment for him to thrive. We see him chat up girls, watch fights with the Grandmaster and act as a kind of pet bounty hunter, all of which he would hardly need much coercion to do. You can definitely read sexual subtext into their interactions, but I saw no implication of Loki being any more sexually threatened by the Grandmaster than Valkyrie was – that is to say, not at all. This is the guy who was willing to shove his brother straight back into the arena if it meant getting a step up in his new life, why would he feel uncomfortable sleeping his way to the top? I love the detail of him turning his 'death' into a play because he's literally the actor, the liar, the manipulator of events. In the end, Loki is a conman, and a very talented one. I’m sad that Jane won’t be returning to the Thor franchise, because I loved her character from the start and I truly enjoyed her dynamic with Thor. Also, DARCY. I will sorely miss Darcy Lewis. The truth is, I can’t think of a really satisfactory way for their departures to be handled on-screen, because I did not want them to depart at all. I feel like it should be pointed out, though, that ‘Thor: the Dark World’ was essentially Jane and Thor’s second date, and Jane was already running low on patience with his trans-Bifrost lifestyle. He’s kind and adorable and undeniably high-maintenance. If Jane had to have an exit, I’d prefer it like this, a low-key and everyday break-up rather than some big melodramatic event for Thor to brood over and Jane to be eventually talked out of. Also, just because I love Jane doesn’t mean I can’t love Valkyrie, and vice versa. It’s not a competition, however much Marvel tried to make it one. I’m a bit uncomfortable with your tag comment about the first Thor movie, describing it as the one ‘where women were allowed to be women’, because women are all kinds of things. I think I understand what you mean, there is rather an excess of traditionally masculine misbehaviour in mainstream media, but sometimes women are angry and disillusioned and drink way too much in order to cope, and that’s a story worth telling too. Honestly, I was on board with Valkyrie’s character from the minute she fell off her spaceship. She’s not a ‘better than the boys’ stereotype, she’s an embittered alcoholic warrior who gets dragged into friendship with Thor against her better judgement, and while that friendship might eventually shift into something romantic, it wasn’t shoehorned into her arc, for which I am intensely grateful. Ragnarok is, in so many ways, a movie with its foundations in the anger of the dispossessed. There are plenty of articles written on the subject by people better qualified than me. All I can say is that, as an Australian, I live in the messy aftermath of colonialism, with the awareness that my nation as I know it was founded on a violent invasion and that its impact is still being felt today. The line ‘where do you think all of this gold came from?’ was so flawless it kind of knocked my breath away. Hela tore apart Odin’s legacy and the narrative backed her right to do so the whole time. The only way to defeat her was to acknowledge that her claim was rightful and her story was true. That’s unbelievably powerful. Emotional resonance is a weird thing. So much of what we love in a story is entirely in the eye of the beholder, and perhaps it also depends on what other narratives are around us at the time – I, for instance, am personally tired of grimdark superheroism that’s all about how we can’t trust each other. What I need right now is Thor’s relentless optimism in the face of disaster, the man who makes friends wherever he goes, the god-prince who loses everything but rescues what really matters out of the ashes. Ragnarok isn’t a perfect movie, but it’s the best I’ve seen in a very long time and talking about it has made me want to watch it all over again.

#thor ragnarok spoilers #meta #the weird bolding and font stuff going on in my reblog was just too annoying to endure #thor #loki #hela #the Odinson family are such a godawful mess #jane foster #valkyrie #women of marvel #superheroes

64 notes · View notes

blaindersonkummel · 7 years

Text

Klaine Fic - Think of all the Fellas That I Haven’t Kissed (Part 2)

Chapter 2 title: Sign Your ‘X’ On The Line Written for Days 18 + 19 of Klaine Advent 2017 Prompts: “Stir” and “Talk”

Summary: Dragqueen!Blaine AU. Follows on from the end of chapter 1. Kurt takes Blaine on a sort-of date to the diner next door to the drag bar.

Word Count: 2600 (this chapter) - Read on AO3.

Kurt couldn’t quite believe the way his night was going. Earlier that day he was fully expecting to come to a drag show for a couple of hours, support Elliott’s friend, enjoy a few drinks, and head home after a fun, but not overly ambitious, night out.

What he wasn’t expecting was to be sat across from one of the very queens he had been watching perform earlier that night. On a date, nonetheless.

Kurt stood at the back door of the club, waiting for Blaine to collect her bags from backstage (“Should I be referring to Blaine as ‘her’ when he’s not in drag?”), ready to go on a late night sort-of date. The thought was already beginning to mess with his brain.

He fidgeted where he stood as he thought about how this… thing with Blaine might go ahead. Kurt suddenly found himself in a strange headspace, mulling over the fact that not only did he find Blaine absolutely gorgeous, charming and so so sweet, he also saw that in Honey Bee. A person who, for all intents and purposes, presented as a woman.

But Kurt was gay. Like, really truly gay. He had never been attracted to women before and he was certain he wasn’t now. But Blaine – well, Honey Bee – was making him question all that.

Sexuality crisis notwithstanding, Blaine came bounding out of the door to where Kurt was waiting, coat and scarf on and wheeling two suitcases of clothes, make-up, and wigs along with a big grin on his face.

“I’m sorry I kept you. So, you still up for splitting those fries?”

Kurt was suddenly torn away from his moment of panic when he looked over at Blaine.

Beautiful, adorable, bubbly Blaine with the most warm eyes and kind smile he’d ever seen. How did an eighteen year old manage to exude both such confidence and innocence at the same time?

“Sounds great,” he responded tightly, holding out one hand to offer to wheel Blaine’s bag, and taking hold of Blaine’s free hand with the other.

“…some more ketchup, please? Thank you so much.”

Kurt was yet again pulled out of his daze and back to the present when he realised he had been blanking on Blaine almost since they sat down and ordered. The waitress taking Blaine’s request for more sauce jotted something on her notepad with a bored expression and walked away with a grunt.

Blaine looked down at the bowl of fries on their table then looked up through his lashes at Kurt as he reached forward and took a few in one hand. He then took an individual fry and dipped it into his chocolate milkshake before popping it into his mouth with a satisfied expression at finally being able to eat that night. The move reminded Kurt of the same thing Blaine had done earlier with the cherry from his drink.

“Is there…” Blaine began, an unreadably curious expression on his face. But instead of carrying on his sentence, he seemed to cut himself off and instead moved to dunk another fry to eat. He tried again.

“Is something wrong, Kurt? You’ve been stirring that milkshake for about ten minutes now. In fact, you’ve been acting kind of odd since I left to get my stuff earlier and…” he looked sort of upset now. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to suddenly put you off, or if I’ve been too forward, or not forward enough, or if I’m too young, or if I’m not really your type or-“

“Woah, hey,” Kurt suddenly jumped to action, unwilling to sit and watch Blaine pass out from not taking a breath. “Hey, it’s fine. It’s okay.”

He laughed a little and stopped stirring, but instantly felt guilty at Blaine’s worried expression.

“It’s, well,” Kurt didn’t really know where to begin with this one, “I’m finding myself in a bit of a crisis at the minute and whilst I do want to tell you “it’s not you, it’s me”, I’m afraid I’d be totally lying.”

Blaine looked taken aback by that and instantly it looked as though tears were springing to his bright amber eyes as he tried to look away.

“Oh. Oh, right, yeah, okay I get it.”

Blaine was trying so hard to hold it together, but Kurt was quick to reassure him.

“Oh, no! No! That came out completely wrong. I should have finished.”

He wrung his hands together and thought to himself. “Ugh okay how do I word this?”

“See, I’m having a bit of a crisis because I… I really like you.”

The tears in Blaine’s shining eyes seemed to subside a little at this and he looked up at Kurt with curiosity.

“It’s kind of freaking me out a bit that I like you so much. For a number of reasons. And I’ll be honest – part of that is me dealing with the fact that you are insanely attractive… as both Blaine… and as Honey.”

Blaine’s face seemed to go pink at that and his eyes widened.

“Oh god,” Kurt instantly felt bad, “Was that offensive for me to say? Ugh, I’m really sorry. I don’t really know how to go about this thing with pronouns and genders and everything.”

Blaine was still pink in the face but he was now smiling widely and his eyes were scrunching at the corners as he made a small giggle.

“It wasn’t offensive, Kurt. I just… do you really think that?”

Kurt was caught offguard.

“Think what?”

“That you find me attractive as… as both me and Honey?”

Kurt knew the answer immediately. Hell yes. He really did.

“Yeah. I do.”

Blaine blushed again and brought his hands up to his face to hide his smile. Kurt was instantly struck by how much he suddenly looked like a child.

“I mean, I’ve heard guys find it an appealing quality but I never-”

“Wait,” Kurt cut him off, instantly curious. “You mean I’m not completely left of field here for freaking out about this?”

Blaine looked sort of taken aback at that.

“Errrr no. Of course you’re not. Drag is a very…” he paused here to find his words, “subversive kind of art form. It’s meant to make people question themselves. I mean, I’ve seen the effect first-hand. I’m fairly new to Cooties but even in the month or so I’ve been there, I have seen it all. Gay men, straight men, bisexual, non-binary, heck even straight and lesbian women, find something attractive about the queens I share a stage with.”

“Huh.”

Kurt was kind of stumped at that. All the anxiety he’d been building inside himself seemed to dissipate rather quickly after Blaine had reassured him that no, he wasn’t weird for finding an instant connection with Honey Bee on the stage and Blaine Anderson off the stage. He started to stir his milkshake yet again.

“I guess, for another thing, it’s not just the gender thing I’ve been thinking about. You’re so young. And I know I’m only 22, but you haven’t even been in the city very long and you already seem so confident. I mean, you’re a performing drag queen! And a damn excellent one! I can’t believe you were doing this in Ohio!”

Kurt took a sip from the milkshake but he didn’t miss the way Blaine bit his lip for a second, looking away the next.

“Ummmm. Well…”

Kurt’s expression shifted.

“You weren’t performing before you came here, were you?”

Blaine looked back now and shrugged with a pained look.

“Elliott told me you’re also from Ohio so I know you’ll understand when I say this. I never performed there. In fact, no-one besides my best friend Tina even knew about the drag thing.”

Kurt was kind of stunned.

“But Blaine, you’re so good! You blew half of those seasoned queens off the stage tonight!”

Blaine laughed a little and sipped on his own milkshake to give him something to do.

“Thank you,” he said once he swallowed, “but I’m just getting started really.”

Kurt looked Blaine over thoughtfully now, sure he was missing something about this mysterious young boy.

“So then how did you start?”

It was a simple enough question but one Blaine froze up at.

“It’s… I don’t know if I should tell you. If the gender thing kind of freaked you out before.”

Blaine was biting his lip again and goddammit, if that wasn’t becoming ingrained in Kurt’s brain as one of the cutest things ever…

“Oh. Well, please don’t feel like you have to tell me anything you’re uncomfortable with. I just want you to know despite how I felt moments ago, I am in no way going to judge you.”

Blaine continued to worry his lip before he took in a breath and straightened himself up in his seat.

“Okay. So, errr, I already knew I was gay from a fairly young age. I came out to my parents when I was fourteen and things were… well, my mom was fine. My dad was, well, not such an easy ride. But they accepted me, at least.”

Kurt was listening with bated breath as Blaine continued, and when it looked like he got kind of stilted at the mention of his father, Kurt didn’t hesitate to slide his hand across the table and wrap it around Blaine’s.

“When I was sixteen I started watching RuPaul’s Drag Race,” he laughed to himself here, “It’s very cliché, I know. But it happened.”

Kurt laughed lightly too but allowed him to continue.

“I thought about it for a while – maybe trying drag. But I started to question myself. At this point, I wasn’t sure what part of drag appealed to me. I became kind of obsessed with…”

Blaine trailed off here and sucked in a breath like he was preparing himself for Kurt’s reaction.

“I became obsessed with the idea of women’s clothing. And one day, when my mom and dad were out, I snuck into my mom’s wardrobe and pulled out the most gorgeous dress she owned, and a pair of heels. I sat on my bed for about thirty minutes before I plucked up the courage to just put on one shoe.

But when I did… I could feel that thing I knew I’d been wanting to feel for a while. So I somehow also managed to get into her dress and the second I had it on, I felt like a different person. You might think that’s kind of the end of it but… well, there’s more.”

Blaine pulled his hand from Kurt’s now and started to bite at one of his nails as he looked down.

“I began to wonder if that feeling was something else. If, maybe, I was suddenly feeling like that was the real me. So, that night, I got online and suddenly I found myself ordering a whole load of stuff which included women’s clothes and…” Blaine trailed off slightly as Kurt leant forward to hear him. “And underwear.”

Kurt was taken aback, not for the first time that night, but he managed to school his expression into something fairly neutral when, in actual fact, something was stirring in him at those words.

“The thing is, when they came, I was nervous. I wondered if putting these clothes on would suddenly spark this thing in me telling me that I was no longer Blaine – but someone else. However, in fact, it actually gets kind of boring here. Long story short, I went all out the next day and… well, I kind of went to school wearing the underwear.”

Kurt’s face must have given a lot away because, if he had been taking a sip of water at this point, the liquid would have probably been sprayed all over Blaine. Blaine laughed at his expression.

“Okay, I admit, so maybe boring isn’t the right word. I just mean, I found out that day that perhaps my gender wasn’t really being called in to question after all. I just happened to be a gay man who felt really sexy and empowered in women’s clothes.”

Blaine stopped here and lifted his milkshake to take a sip like he hadn’t just told Kurt he wears women’s underwear to feel sexy. And Kurt was supposed to act like that wasn’t one of the hottest things he’d ever heard.

“Woah,” he began, still unsure how to continue.

“It’s okay,” Blaine replied, “I understand it’s a lot to take in.”

Kurt pondered it for a second before he couldn’t hold in the questions any more and he had to ask.

“So if you weren’t performing before, how did you get into becoming a queen? Being in drag is about way more than just the clothes surely?”

Blaine’s smile titled up at that and he looked really quite impressed by how Kurt was reacting.

“You’re right, and it’s a good question. The day I realised I just wanted to wear the clothes, I got online right away and watched hours and hours of YouTube videos of drag performances, make-up tutorials, and hell even the documentaries about drag culture.”

“But you didn’t tell anyone?”

“At first. But when I realised how hard it would be to get more clothes and to even buy and hide make-up, I told Tina. She was amazing. She seriously helped me through a very… errr… confusing time. Plus she did my make-up the first time. I still like to think of her as my drag mother, even if she did an absolutely terrible job.”

Blaine laughed so sweetly again and continued eating his weird milkshake-covered fries. Kurt felt kind of sad for Blaine at first, having to keep this thing hidden that he was so breathtakingly brilliant at. But it led him to here and now – an excellent performer in a great drag bar, doing what he loves.

“So, there’s one more thing I’m wondering about. But, y’know, like I said, don’t feel like you have to answer or anything,” Kurt said as Blaine waited for him to continue. “What have your boyfriends thought about all this?”

Kurt pictured many responses from Blaine to this question. He expected maybe he would get defensive and not answer, or he would walk away, or he would calmly explain. What he didn’t expect was for Blaine to laugh out loud and then cover his mouth and look all shy and unassuming.

But still, he waited for an answer which Blaine didn’t give for a good couple of seconds.

“Oh! You’re… you’re not joking?” Blaine asked, eyes wide.

“Errr, no. I’m not,” Kurt suddenly felt uncomfortable again like he really had said something wrong.

“Well,” Blaine began, suddenly shy again, “the thing is… I’ve never… had one.”

“Oh,” Kurt really didn’t know how to carry on after that so he too picked up his milkshake and took a slurp to allow him the time to process.

“But, y’know,” Blaine continued, waiting for Kurt to put his glass down before he slid his hand across the table, palm up, “I’m certainly open to the idea.”

Kurt looked down at the hand and then back at Blaine’s face as, yet again, he did that absolutely adorable lip bite that Kurt was quickly falling in love with. Kurt was definitely becoming totally powerless to that face.

He slid his hand across the table to meet Blaine’s and he smiled.

“So am I.”

#klaine advent 2017 #klaine advent: talk #klaine advent: stir #drag queen!blaine #klaine fic #klaine #my fic

25 notes · View notes