#“error: something went wrong. please try again” WITH WHAT

[lurkiestvoid]

I JUST. SPENT OVER SIX. FUCKING HOURS. METICULOUSLY WRITING, SOURCING, AND EDITING AN ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE POST. ON MOBILE EVEN!!

AND. THE MILLISECOND I CLICKED "POST."

TUMBLR FUCKING ATE IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[yuki-world]

丹恒 | DAN HENG ; APHRODISIAC

summary | you ate something wrong, and you went to dan heng for help. except… you needed a different kind of help.

tags | nsfw (smut), fem!reader, aphrodisiac, creampie, 2.1k words

a/n : first time posting on tumblr pls bear with me 谢谢! + did not proofread, may have slight errors

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“y/n, you’re heating up, what did you eat?” dan heng asks, placing the back of his hand on forehead. you squirm at his touch, which he seems to not notice. “fever…?” he mutters to himself as he diagnoses the situation.

you’re sat on his chair, panting quietly, thighs desperately trying to rub against each other, in hopes of any stimulation to relieve that throbbing sensation in your cunt. you were wet; practically dripping. you might even stain the seat with your juices at this rate. the more you moved, the more the effects strengthened.

“what did you eat, y/n? answer me,” dan heng asks again from the lack of reply, and you almost came from how demanding he sounded. god, the aphrodisiac was really messing with your head. everything about him was hot. you could barely even think of anything else; just him fucking you right there and then. even as you try to answer his question, your voice fails you and you stop yourself, afraid it might come out as a moan instead.

you almost laugh at how worried dan heng looks, quite the opposite of how he always is. your grip on the chair handles tighten as you try to control yourself, for you might actually pounce on him. you needed to be filled so bad, for a cock to stuff you full until you’re nothing but a babbling mess.

“i think i’ll go get a doctor,” dan heng sighs, looking at the state you were in. “you just… stay here. i’ll be backー”

as he walks past you, you grab his arm to stop him from leaving. his breath hitches, as he looks back down at you. “y/n?”

you pause for a moment, before you opened your mouth.

“i, ah,” you stutter, trying to sound as normal as possible. “aーaphrodisiac,” is all you could say, and even that one word came out shaky. his eyes widened almost immediately.

he doesnt say anything, but you can visibly see him gulp, as he tries to maintain composure. he should’ve known, should’ve noticed how you were squirming around in the chair. it all made sense.

“you need to rest. i’ll get the doctor immediately.” he states plainly, and that’s all he can say. dirty thoughts invade his mind at the mention of aphrodisiac, but he tries his best to snap out of it.

fuck, you couldn’t take it anymore. your body needed to be touched, literally any small touch from dan heng would do. taking medicine or waiting it out isn’t going to satisfy you at all.

as he takes another step towards the door again, you stand up instantly, almost falling onto him. “pleaseー please don’t, dan heng,” you pleaded with those puppy eyes of yours, and his resolve crumbles. how sweet his name sounded coming from you, at this very moment, has him feeling a certain type of way. he’s never thought of you in inappropriate ways, but right now, the thought of you calling out his name like that in bed…

“what… what do you suggest i do to help you, y/n?” he asksーsuggestively, and you couldn’t care less anymore.

as you pull him in for a kiss by his jacket, his face heats up almost immediately, soft red dusting over his cheeks. he doesn’t hesitate to kiss back, not even trying to pull away as you slip your tongue into his mouth. he wants more, he thinks, hand snaking around your waist to pull you in closer. his other hand playfully travels down to your ass, making you gasp in surprise as he squeezes it.

you never knew you could’ve felt hotter than you were previously, with the sloppy make out session making you yearn for his cock even more. you subconsciously grind onto his bulge, feeling him harden against you.

as he pulls away, a string of saliva drips that was connecting the both of you drips down your mouth, and he swears his erection is going to burst through his pants. “y/n… wait.”

he’s panting as he speaks, hand reaching up to caress your cheek. “i don’t want to take advantage of you.”

him? taking advantage of you? when you were the one looking for him to relieve yourself?

“don’t be stupid, dan heng,” you giggle, your kisses trailing down his neck as he gulps, confusion written on his face with the sudden change in your demeanor. “what?”

“what i’m saying is…” you start, as you suck on his neck, eliciting a moan from him. his hand flys up to grip your hair, as you continued to lick and suck on the same spot; that was definitely going to bruise.

“…you canーnnh, do whatever you want to me.”

fuck, he thinks to himself. you’re so lewd.

his cock twitches again, and he’s had enough of the foreplay. he has to be inside you now or he might actually die.

he bends you over the table, not even bothering to undress you or himself, as he flips your skirt up. god, was he glad you wore a skirt. or perhaps you did it on purpose?

either way, he doesn’t care. he slips your drenched panties off, running his fingers up and down your folds. you were so wet, you bet he’d slip in so easily. he kneels down, lowering his face to your pussy, as he starts licking, lapping up all your wetness. who could blame him? the sight of your glistening cunt on display for him really does it for him.

he tongues your hole, the small and wet muscle thrusting in and out of you has your legs trembling. your grip on the table was so strong, your fingers begun turning red. “fuuuuck, dan heng, ohー”

he doesn’t stop until you’re a drooling mess, babbling about how good it feels. your drool might’ve even gotten on some of his documents he left on the table, but that was a problem for another day. the room filled with nothing but slurping sounds and your loud moans; as much as you wanted to keep it down, your mind was blank.

“mmh more! right there, yes!” you mindlessly blurt out, and he does exactly that. “mm, right here?” he asks, spreading your ass further apart, and tongue-fucks you in all the right places. the wetness of your own juices was replaced with his saliva and spit, some even getting on your thighs. as he started sucking your clit, you almost blacked out.

“cumming, oh fuck, dan heng, nnghー” you came as he gives a particularly harsh suck to your clit, and your head drops to the table. your juices coat his lips and a little on his nose, as he continues lapping them up as if it was the most delicious thing ever. your legs almost give up as he continues overstimulating you.

after he deemed it was enough, he carried you to his bed, throwing you down as he eagerly takes off his top.

“are you on aphrodisiac too?” you ask teasingly, but he doesn’t answer; just pops the button of your blouse open, pulling down your bra to expose your tits. doesnt even bother to unhook it as his mouth latches onto one of your nipples, hand fondling the other.

before you even have time to process what just happened, you see him get back up, with his zipper being pulled down. his cock pops out, red and hard; long and big. your mouth waters at the sight, hand instinctively reaching out to touch it, but dan heng slaps it away. “no, i need something more right now,” he says, exhaling as he gives his cock a few strokes, squeezing beads of pre-cum out.

and it was at this moment when he looks at you, sprawled out on his bed, exposed from your chest to your cunt, with your eyes a little teary from how good you were eaten out just now… you were breathtaking. so pretty, so soft, yet so lewd… he’s never seen anyone more beautiful than you.

“put it in already…” he hears, as he snaps out of his thoughts.

“so needy,” he mutters quietly to himself, guiding his cock to the entrance of your cunt.

as the head of his cock enters you, the both of you let out a sigh. even though he was going slow, you felt like he was splitting you apart. your pussy tightens around him immediately, and he has to stop himself from cumming right there and then.

“fuck, don’tー don’t do that y/n,” he warns as he continues to push his cock in, inch by inch, making you moan every time he moves. as he finally bottoms out for what seemed to be ages, he hand comes up to your head, sweetly brushing your hair away from your sweaty forehead. “you’re so pretty.”

your heart starts pounding a little faster, and your eyes look at anywhere but his. “don’t get shy on me now.”

just as you were about to reply with i’m not, he starts to pull his cock out, slamming it back into you in one swift movement. you cry out as he continues his pounding, increasing his pace every time he hears you let out a small whimper.

“dan heng, its so big mmfhh…” you drool mindlessly as he fucks you mercilessly, spreading your legs further apart so you take more of him each time. once in a while, he even grinds into you each time your pussy is at the base of his cock.

he throws one of your legs over his shoulder, and he felt his cock hit a particular spot, making you dig your nails into his back. “fuck, right there! ahー”

he slams his cock into that spot multiple times, just the way you like it. “rightー thrust ーhere? thrustーhmm?” he questions, and you can only nod your head as no words come out.

“god, you feel so good y/n, iーi can’t…” he trails off, pinning your hands above your head as he continues his thrusts. he was almost at his limit, and you could tell by the way his movements turn sloppy, and his breathing gets heavier.

“dan hengー nngh, are you going to cum?” you ask, and he lets go of the leg previously on his shoulder. he buries his face into your neck, taking in your scent. “…yeah,” he whispers into your ear, a hand grabbing your waist to fuck you onto his cock. “you?”

“will you cum inside me?” you ask ever-so-innocently, not even replying to his question, and his breath hitches. he stops his movements abruptly, his cock twitching inside you, as he pants heavily.

he takes a moment as light breaths tickle your neck, eventually propping himself on his elbows. “don’t… say these kind of things.”

“you can, if you want to,” you smile, wrapping your legs around him, pulling him closer to you (and deeper into you).

he might actually go crazy. he’s lucky he stopped himself after you said that, because he’d definitely bust inside you after that question. of course he wants to, of course he wants to dump his load inside you and watch it seep out of you puffy cunt when you’re all done.

he starts moving again, slower and more sensual this time, but it still makes you feel so good. he rolls his hips against yours, occasionally biting your neck to suppress his sounds. dan heng was close, like, really close. but he has to make you cum first; or at least together.

his hand reaches down, rubbing your clit harshly, and his starts picking up his pace. you gasp at the sensation, as your legs tightened around him.

you cry out as your orgasm was reaching, hands moving from his back, to hugging his neck. you could barely breathe from how hard he was fucking you.

“dan heng, i… i’m cummingーnngh… cumming!”

as your toes curl and your eyes roll back, your orgasm hits you like a train, so fast, so powerful and so wet. your walls tighten around him so much, all thoughts of pulling out goes down the drain.

theres no way he wasn’t cumming inside you.

“y/n, fuckー you’re so tight… i’m going to cum.”

squelching noises fill the room louder as he pounds into your tight cunt, he was really at his limit. “shit… ah, here it comes… fuckー”

his cock twitches again, and he groans as he cums with one last thrust. ropes of thick, white, warm cream fill your insides, as your walls fluttered around him. dan heng trembles slightly as he tries to fuck his cum back into you.

he pants heavily into your neck, the grip of his hands on your body slowly releasing. the room smells like nothing but sex, as you try to catch your own breath. “you’re… you’re really something,” you let out a chuckle, hands coming down to pat his back softly. “mm,” dan heng hums back in satisfaction.

maybe the aphrodisiac wasn’t so bad after all.

ー @yuki-world

[generalsmemories]

Ginkgo leaves

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ based on the ask: Since reqs are open, you think you could write jing yuans reaction to his lover being Mara-struck? Thank you! - requested by anonymous

✧ contents: established relationship, angst, hurt/almost no comfort lmfao, implied character death, mentions of other characters, pov mostly written in jing yuan's pov, still usage of 2nd pov (referring the reader as you), mayhaps ooc because jing yuan is an emotional wreck.

✧ a/n: when i tell ya'll i legit struggled to be able to write this entire thing. there's been like 3-4 scrapped drafts because halfway through writing i would just NOT be satisfied with the result. to the anon who requested this, i'm so sorry it took this long - but i hope the upcoming trainwreck makes up for it! a trainwreck im still not actually satisfied with LMFAO. but it's better than the other 5 scrapped works. also not beta-read so fellas if u see a spelling error - no you didn't.

p.s: some mara-struck information i give here are totally fanmade for the purpose of this fic alone, as such don't take whatever i write about mara here as what actually happens canonically to characters (then again most of the playable characters have different symptoms of mara themselves).

"Benefactor, am I correct to believe you're asking me if the general has any specific interests?" Tingyun asks with a snicker, the trailblazer looking away from her prying eyes while mumbling a quiet yes.

"Some of the younger... Can I call them younger? Anyway, some of the younger Xianzhou citizens are very infatuated with the general. Seeing as I've been announced as his honory guest, they do often come and ask me various things to try and gain his favor. So yeah, anything at this point will work - so please!" the trailblazer hurriedly explained, clasping their hands together in a desperate attempt to get anything from the foxian amicassador leaning back with a quirked eyebrow.

"Ahh, love truly makes someone go blind doesn't it," she muses out loud, the trailblazers' eyebrow furrowing together in confusion over the foxian's lady choice of words, "... You're not entirerely wrong with that statement..."

"Do you want to know what his favorite flower is?" Tingyun asks, ignoring the confused question that had been uttered to her, snapping her fan open to hide the cheeky smile that spread across her lips - but anyone could still tell that her eyes were gleaming with mischief as the trailblazer nodded their head.

"He doesn't have one."

"Then why did you even-"

"But he likes ginkgo leaves."

The trailblazers' eyes widened in shock, and rightfully so because the very thing ginkgo leaves are associated with are after all...

"He had a lover once, and as far as I'm aware, his last moment with them while they still had their consciousness intact was surrounded by ginkgo leaves."

Jing Yuan whilst having forgotten almost every single moment with you, does unfortunately remember the exact details of the day that your descent into madness started. Because what he witnessed wasn't a futile struggle you had with yourself to not to destroy everything within your vicinity. Instead, he witnessed the slow process of your bright self becoming an empty shell, only capable of uttering a few words.

It's comical really, even when faced with a curse that struck everyone mad - he found out that it oddly fit your character to not go mad, but instead become the complete opposite of your gentle self. A hollow shell of the person he fell in love with all centuries ago.

Jing Yuan knew he had to end your suffering right then and there when you first started to show signs.

But he couldn't - This wasn't something that had to be immediately dealt with, his hand wasn't forced like it was back when he had to slay his own master down before she took more lives.

No, this was a normal afternoon on what would've been another normal, mundane day in both of your lives. But everything went wrong the moment Jing Yuan heard the breaking of glass, and how there was a lone gingko leaf inside the palm of your hand - a ginkgo leaf that you were staring wide-eyed at with a trembling hand.

You were too far from the veranda to have a ginkgo leaf in your hand.

General Jing Yuan would've ended your suffering the moment you turned around to lock eyes with him, your own face twisted into one of utter fear.

General Jing Yuan would've reported you the to Ten-Lords Commissions as the law had stated. But Jing Yuan couldn't - because Jing Yuan knew that the moment he did, he would never see you again.

So he decided for once he would be selfish. Jing Yuan rarely made choices lately that was based off of his own feelings, but his time with you was cut too harshly, so once again he chooses to be selfish. Even if that meant that it would prolong your suffering just a tiny bit more. "... We can figure something out," was the only thing he could muster up the courage to say with a shaking voice. You didn't say anything, your mouth wobbling a tiny bit and your breathing getting harsher by the second.

But still you indulged him - you always did. So with an equally wobbly smile, you only nodded your head slightly, "... Sure."

That wobbly smile and expression of utter fear was the last genuine expression that truly came from yourself.

The descent to becoming fully mara-struck is usually a fast process, the curse able to completely overtake someone's mind within the same day the symptoms appears - rendering the person completely vulnerable with the only alternative to either hand themselves in to the Ten-Lords or wait for the Ten-Lords to come to them personally.

Your usual easy-going smile was gone, in its stead was eyes that kept going in and out of focus. Almost as if you were desperately trying to keep yourself grounded - a battle you both knew would end with your defeat.

Jing Yuan didn't dare to venture outside of the house. One step out and every Cloud Knight would've been on you within seconds to subdue you. He had first initially resorted to just holding you within his arms for as long as he could, to be able to remember how you felt like after your death.

But with the minimal strength you had left, you had wobbled to the garden, every step taken only making you pant heavily. But even with heavy breaths of air leaving your lips, you had refused to take Jing Yuans hand or offer to even carry you out to the garden. When you had managed to reach the ginkgo tree standing tall at the center of the garden, Jing Yuan was sure you were going to collapse in front of it, taking a quick step to catch you.

But instead you had merely reached your hands up, the falling leaves fluttering gently down onto your palms. And while you were in indescriable pain for the last couple of hours - Jing Yuan could only see a serene expression when you looked up at the ginkgo leaves that were continously falling down.

"... They're beautiful... aren't they... Jing Yuan? It's almost a pity... that these beautiful... leaves are associated with our doom," you said softly. Jing Yuan could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you uttered his name.

You're obviously struggling to convey whatever thoughts you still had to him properly, taking a moment in between words to catch your breath, eyebrows furrowed slightly as you fought against the searing pain that was spreading through every nerve in your body.

There's a sudden gust of wind which causes the pile of leaves in your hands to flutter away from your grasp. Your hand stretches out slightly, almost in an attempt to reach out for them - stumbling a bit in your step. The limp causes Jing Yuan to take a quick step forward with his arms outstretched. Perhaps seeing him in your peripheral vision causes you to stop the futile attempt to catch the escaping leaves, arms going limp against your side as you turn to face him - your once blank expression turning into a somber smile instead.

Jing Yuan thinks that it's unfair how normal you look in front of him - almost as if you haven't been becme mara-struck. Like nothing has happened to you aside from the ginkgo leaves fluttering from your lips whenever you cough. The same cough that causes the general of Luofu to flinch every time - without fail.

And perhaps you can see his inner turmoil, the way he tries to make eye contact with you, but is unable to after a few seconds. The way his hands clench too hard into fist to the point droplets of blood fall down to the grass and stains it a deep red while he bites his own lips to not say a word - lest he says something that he will regret.

And you truly wish that you could tell him everything is okay like you usually do.

But for the first time since the day he lost his friends, you can't.

"... I'm sorry," you finally say, the apology making him whip his head up to you again. Mouth opening to say something to comfort you, to tell you that it's not your fault. But the words are unable to leave his mouth when he sees your arms slightly outstretched towards him with a small smile.

And he can't hold it in anymore.

It only takes him a few wide steps to reach you from his position before he cradles you within his arms. The grip is tight, unbearably tight to the point it hurts, but you don't complain. You're limp in his hold, and if this was any day he wouldn't comment, but the fact that you're not moving a single muscle terrifies Jing Yuan to the core. "... Please," he finally manages to whisper, the rustling of ginkgo leaves around you almost drowning out his quiet plea.

"Please don't make me do this again."

He doesn't ask if the tensing of your body is caused by the pain that's rapidly increasing or if it's caused by his silent confession. He can however feel the gentle hand that rests against the lower part of his back and your head resting against the side of his own. The reassurance you try to give him does nothing to help because he's aware that it probably brought you unmeasurable pain to try to move those limbs - instead the general buries his face closer to your neck and squeezes you tighter.

"... You won't." you whisper quietly.

It takes a moment for Jing Yuan to process the meaning behind those two words.

But it's a moment too late, because before he can get his phone out to usher a command, a few resounding knocks can be heard throughout the quiet mansion.

"General Jing Yuan. This is Xueyi of the Ten-Lords commission. I've gotten information that there's currently a mara-struck within these premises."

Jing Yuan feels his blood run cold, he pulls himself away from you to stare at you properly in disbelief.

You're still staring at him with the same somber expression, however he can tell there's a small pitiful smile grazing your lips, "I'm sorry," you whisper once again.

"I asked her... personally," you start, finally letting yourself rest now that the end is near, slumping down onto Jing Yuan's chest, your ear settling itself against his heart to hear his rapid heartbeats.

Jing Yuan loathes the fact that it's at this moment, with the Ten-Lords commission outside of your door and with him completely broken do you actually look at peace - like your battle against time has finally come to its conclusion.

And naturally, the one who lost is you.

"Half a day... with you. Then she would come and bring me there. You won't have to... do this again."

You're not able to see Jing Yuan's face - and Jing Yuan wouldn't want you to see how he looked like right now. The arms around you is trembling, his mind is racing - trying to come up with anything to give him a bit more time with you.

But for once, the general that had a plan for every situation had nothing in mind.

He's lost. And the prize of the loss this time is losing you forever.

"General, I apologize for the rudeness of what I'm about to do, but this is for both of your safety," Jing Yuan hear Xueyi mutter from outside of the door, before he hears the rattling of the door frame start to slide open.

"Wait- no," it's a quiet request that gets ignored as Xueyi strides in alone, the lack of company making Jing Yuan's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"... Their last request along with the request for my late arrival here was for the Cloud Knights to not see you like this. Naturally I won't tell anyone of what I've seen today."

Jing Yuan doesn't care about that, he could care less about his image right now, pulling you closer to him while his eyes are downcast - he makes no move to hand you over to the judge.

The puppet judge before him does not say anything - nor does she make a move. What she does however is wait, wait for the general before her that has been utterly crushed and broken by the person in his arms start to accept the harsh truth once again.

If he doesn't handle the mara-struck himself, someone else would - but the end result only serves to punish him in the end, the one left behind.

Xueyi hears a silent breath be let out by the general, her once closed eyes opening up to see the general pull slightly away from you, one hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. Your eyes have long since closed, and you're most likely not even conscious to hear what he's about to say.

"My dear... I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer before we can meet again," he whispers, bumping his forehead against your own gently, "I hope you won't fault me for that."

A long ginkgo leaf flutters right between the two of you, eventually settling down on your chest.

Jing Yuan sucks in one last deep breath, "I'm sorry I kept you here for so long - I'm sorry you had to be in pain for so long because of me," he leans in to slot his lips one last time over your own, whispering something that Xueyi can't hear before he rises up, your body limp in his arms.

"Thank you for your service Miss Xueyi, please see them off appropiately." Jing Yuan says, voice sounding eerily calm - almost like his usual self.

When he turns around to finally face her, the puppet's lifeless eyes seem to grow a bit in surprise. Before her is the general of Luofu, his usual easy-going smile present on his lips.

Like he wasn't carrying his mara-struck lover in his arms.

"As much as I would want to accompany you to see them off, I'm afraid I have some urgent matters to attend to," he informs, handing your body over to Xueyi - she doesn't comment on how his hands are still slightly trembling or how he immediately turned a bit to the side to ignore staring at her head-on.

Even though Xueyi doesn't want to ask, she still asks either way, "What are your plans from here on, general?"

Jing Yuan only gives her a close eyed smile, turning his gaze towards the large ginkgo tree with his hands behind his back. He gnaws a tiny bit at his lips, finally breathing out.

A couple of seconds passes by before he opens his mouth.

"I think I'll meditate a bit under this tree before heading back to the Seat. I can't leave Luofu without me for too long after all."

5 SCRAPPED WORKS AND I'M STILL NOT ACTUALLY THAT SATISFIED BUT IF I KEEP THIS PIECE LONGER IN THE WORKS THE MORE I'LL BUTCHER IT SO HAHA - THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO AFTER 3 MONTHS OF CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH FELLAS. I HOPE IT SQUEEZED YOUR HEART A TINY BIT NONETHELESS.

[ayeyolooo]

Roommates!

1000 + words 😓(please excuse my grammatical errors!)

YOU LAID IN YOUR BED BOO BOO CRYING. Your boyfriend just broke up with you. Did you know why? Absolutely not. You stopped crying before sniffing and you started boo boo crying again. Connie walked by your bedroom and his eyes furrowed. He knocked on the door with his knuckles and called out your name softly. "Y/n?" His soft voice rang on the other side of the door. You just sniffed and ignored him. Connie just sighed before he went to go and get eren and armin. Connie walked downstairs to see armin on the game with his headphones on. His back muscles glowed in the sun as the curtain was open,shooting the natural light on his back.

His piercings shimmered in the sunlight as he threw his head back in annoyance. "Bro yall big goofy asses cheating." Armin's deep voice rang throughout the house. Eren just leaned on the counter and laughed at armin. Armin sucked his teeth before turning towards eren and pointing towards the tv. "Nahh cause they asses double teaming." Armin said with a lil attitude.

Eren just laughed and popped a blueberry in his mouth. He took the fruit out and he began mixing him some fruit in a glass white bowl. His fruit mixture was watermelon,cantaloupe, strawberries,mango, grapes and pineapple. He placed the fruit back in the refrigerator and walked over to the couch and plopped down on the seat next to armin. Armin looked over to eren and seen him scrolling through his Instagram feed. He took his opportunity to dig in his bowl and take some of his fruit before eating all of them.

Eren looked up from his phone with furrowed eyebrows. "Bro.. why are you digging your hands in my fucking bowl ion know where your nasty ass hands been." Eren said popping armin on the nose.Armin's hand quickly went up as he clutched his now red nose. "Ouch dickhead,you hit my piercing." Armin's voice muffled from his hands covering his mouth.

Eren just smirked before going back on his phone. Armin just rolled his eyes before he began playing the game again. Connie just stood on the stairs and watched the whole thing unfold. He laughed and walked to the kitchen. "Okay whenever y'all done with y'all lil arguing and shit. We got something else to worry bout?" Connie said taking the pancake mix out of the cabinet. Armin and erens face screwed up in confusion as they turned to Connie. "What's wrong??" Armin asked as his tatted hand began to take the ps5 headphones off.

"mama up there crying."Connie replied taking the ingredients for pancakes out of the refrigerator. Armin placed his headphones back on as he spoke into the mic. "Aye I gotta go imma talk to y'all later." Armin said before turning the game off and walking in the kitchen. "What's wrong with n/n?" Eren asked standing up and making his way to the kitchen. "Beats me." Connie said shrugging as he mixed the ingredients in the bowl. "You asked mikasa?" Eren asked. Connie just shook his head no.

"Did you try asking her?" Armin asked taking out the pots to help Connie. Connie and eren just looked at him like he was stupid. "Well no shit." Connie sarcastically responded. "Okay my bad damn." Armin mean mugged everyone before he began getting the butter out of the refrigerator and spreading it into the pot. Eren took the turkey bacon from the freezer and stood to the side of armin turning the oven on and placing it on 350°.

He cleared the oven out making sure that it was nothing in there. He took a baking pan and he placed some bacon strips on the pan. He slid the pan into the oven and he closed it back. "I'm thinking about changing my tongue piercing." Eren said breaking the silence. "For what? Isn't the one you got good already??" Armin asked. "Yeah,but I want a bigger one..I don't know yet though." Eren said licking his lips and rubbing his two tatted hands together making his muscles flex against his tight dry fit shirt.

"Okay we have to make her cheer up." Connie said pouring some of the batter on the hot sizzling pan and cleaning up the sides so that it'll be clean. "Yeah." Armin and eren both replied with a sad tone. "But mikasa I don't know what I did wrong." Your voice cracked at the end. "Girl fuck him.. he wasn't shit anyways." She said. She despised your boyfriend. She couldn't stand him.

She hated him so badly that she didn't even want to breathe the same air as him. You just tucked your head into your arms and you cried and cried. Mikasa felt bad for you. Since she didn't know how to comfort anyone. And she wasn't anywhere near you. "Girl his dick better have been that good to where you crying like that." Mikasa said looking at you. "It wasn't but I loved him." You said sipping your eyes. Your white acrylics could be seen as mikasa just shook her head in dissapointment.

"Stinka,that wasn't no man..I mean look at the way he talked to you Ma." Mikasa's raspy voice rang throughout the phone. You just sniffed as you tried to wipe your eyes. But the tears kept coming out. Your Nose was running and you were starting to get hot.

You sniffed and stood up. When you stood up your head felt dizzy . It was from you crying so much. You walked to the mirror and looked at your face. Your puffy eyes ,your red tipped nose. All of this for someone you loved.

But did he love you back..?

You kept your light off,but turned on your fan. You removed your jacket and made your way back underneath the covers to sulk some more.

You got into the bed and continued to cry. Mikasa whispred sweet nothings over the phone as you cried. She was trying her best,but you kept crying.

She just sighed out in defeat. "I'm so sorry ma that he's making you feel this way." Mikasa pouted over the phone.

You just shrugged. "Maybe it's cause I'm too fat?" You admitted. "Woahhh hold your motherfucking horses." Mikasa placed one finger up in the camera as a 'wait.' Signal.

"Girl you are a real female. You didn't get surgery..and you're naturally thick.. okay??" She asked you. "But.." you muttered. "But nothing y/n shut the fuck up and listen to me." Mikasa's stern voice said to you as you immediately shut up.

"You have a pudge, so what? You have cellulite? So what? You have stretch marks,so what??  You have lower belly fat,so what??All of that make you human y/n." Mikasa's voice turned soft as she explained.

"You're not putting all of this plastic and shit in your body. Your body is perfect for the person who you're meant for." Mikasa said. "Okay? Now stop crying pretty girl." Mikasa said.

"Wipe your tears, ion wanna see you crying anymore." Mikasa said as you nodded and wiped your eyes. "Sasha wants me to go and cuddle with her..I'll speak to you later pretty girl." Mikasa said smiling at you.

Your lil phat ma throbbed but you played it off since it wasn't the right moment for that. "Love you n/nnn."Mikasa drug out there last letter of your name. "I love you too kasaaaa." You said bringing the phone to your lips and making kissy noises.

Mikasa did the same thing before saying bye to you and hanging up.

You laid on your back as you scrolled through your feed. You checked your dm's and it was a client. She wanted you to do her daughters hair and nails,for her 16th birthday.

Hello! Ms.y/n would you be available today by any chance? It's my daughters 16 th birthday today and I was wondering if you could do her hair and nails?

You sat up and turned your light on.

'Yeah sure! Read the information in my highlights🤍. Can you please bring her by 12:00?' You sent it said that she seen it.

'Yes sure,would you like your $15 deposit on cash app or in person?'

'On cash app ma'am.' You replied. She said okay and sent it. She showed you the way she wanted her hair.

You told her what she needed,and you sent her your address. You kept on erens sweatpants, and they were able to fit due to your thick thighs.

You had on one of armin's white tee shirts and you had on Connie's 'euphoric' hoodie. You made your way downstairs to see the boys all in the kitchen making food.

All of their backs were turned. So when they all turned around to place a piece of food on the plate. They all shrieked when they seen you.

Your eyelashes off, your eyes puffy,the tip of your nose red. And your eyes glossy.

"You okay?" Armin asked walking over to you and giving you a warm hug. Your eyes started to water as he  kissed your head. Eren just walked over and pulled you off of armin. He turned you around and he wiped your tears.

"What's wrong pretty girl?" He whispred and leaned down so that he could face you. "Nothing." You turned your head so that he couldn't see you crying.

He gently grabbed your chin and faces you towards him. He used both of his thumbs and wiped your eyes. "You crying doesn't seem like nothing." He whispred lowly.

You just sighed. "I'm okay,and I have a client today." You said giving all of them a closed smile. "Oh that's cool. Come eat." Connie said placing your plate on the table.

You hesitated before making your way to the table. They all made their plates before coming to sit next to you. "You okay ma?" Connie asked looking at you with his hazel green eyes.

"Yeah I'm fine." You said messing with your earring. "I call bullshit." Armin said. You just rolled your eyes as eren laughed.

"Yeah y/n you ain't a good liar." Eren motioned to you playing with your earring. "Hop off okay?" You said with a lil attitude.

"You and markeshia broke up??" Connie asked breaking the ice. You just mean mugged him at the name. "His name was Marcus and yes,we unfortunately separated.. why did you call him markeshia?" You asked picking up a strawberry and biting into it.

"Cause he acted more like a lil girl than he did a man,so why not?" Connie asked shrugging and taking a bite of his pancake. You just laughed at the name. Armin seen you laughing and he broke out into a smile.

You started to die of laughter as the three boys joined in from your laugh.

Them three didn't fail you. When you were sad they found out a way to cheer you up.

When you were  hungry or needed money they had no problem paying for you. Mikasa thinks that you have a crush on them. But you denied her,even though it was true.

I mean how could you not? Here lemme explain to you.

Eren okay ,Greek God. Slim waist. Tattoos,tall?? Not fine??

Armin, messy undercut,pink lips,nose ring?? Tattoos? Taller than you but shorter than eren. Still not fine???

Connie,green eyes. Nose piercing? Eyebrow piercing?? Tattoos?? Shorter than armin and eren but taller than you. You lying if you say they ain't fine ass hell.

You continued eating. You finished and placed your plate in the sink so that you'll be able to wash it later. "N/n you need us to help you?" Eren asked as all of their eyes shot towards you.

They just wanted an excuse to go and watch you do hair.

"Yeah y'all can come in and help if you'd like." You said showing them a beautiful smile and walking to your little hair salon.

"Y'all seen that sexy ass smileeee??" Connie whispered as eren and armin's face went red. They all dabbed eachother up before finding their faces and making their way to your hair room.

"Y'all go put on some clothesss,I can't have y'all looking like that when my clients over here." You said looking them up and down.

"What's wrong with what we got on?? This out house too n/n." Armin mean mugged you. You just rolled your eyes before you started separating the hair and placing it on the stands.

Armin has on a white wife beater with some black jordan basketball shorts. Connie had on a white tee shirt,with some grey sweatpants and a black beanie on.

Eren had on a black fitted dryfit shirt with some black sweatpants and his hair was in a messy bun to the back.

All of them looked delicious.

"Find whatever." You said rolling your eyes. Armin walked over to you "you need us to help you?" He asked with an innocent smile as he looked down at you,with low lidded eyes.

"Yeah,you can help separate the hair for me?" You asked handing him the hair. He took it from you and began to separate the hair.

The boy all knew how to work your salon. On days you were sick,they'd take your place and they'll give you all of the money when they were done.

Connie did the nails,armin and eren did the hair. They were able to do this because they watched you every single time you'd have a client.

Pt 2🤔??

[luvleyk]

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Trying something new with my Bae

| CW: Smut, strap on usage, fingering, Bada trying figure out her shits on her own, her being gentle but then things went rough when she lost her control, that's it.

| A/N: wasn't proofread so expect that there'll be some typos or grammatical errors.. I'm having a writers block and trying to figure out how to make a fluff without the smut afterwards... So have this for now.. Please I just want to write angst or fluff. I have issues

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

You two have been dating for few years. She gave you a lot of experience, especially on intimate moments. But, slowly.. She's running out of ideas on how to pleasure you in different ways. You two tried a lot of positions, overstimulate, edging, oral and other stuff but she feels like she needs more to pleasure you, to make you feel good. But what is it? She thought.

She's good at it, of course. But she's still trying new things to have more experience and make sure that she can have you all ruined underneath her. You moaning out her name till you cum again and again. God.. She thought.. Maybe her friends could help her out? But she's too prideful to even ask for a help. So she felt defeated by her own ego as she slumped down on her chair, her finger were tapping above her lips as she tries to think.

"Bada"

Her mind completely went back after it was drifting out of nowhere as she looked over her shoulder, seeing you standing by the door frame. She sighs in relief before gesturing you to come closer..

"What's wrong? You seemed spaced out?" You asked once you were standing beside her..

She shakes her head. Of course, she wouldn't tell you that the things were bothering her was about sex.. "Nothing, love.. I'm just trying to think of another choreo to make" she lied.

And of course you're oblivious to know if she's lying or not... "Oh I see.. Well.. Can I see you dance once you formed that choreo?" She asked, which she nodded in response.. After a few minutes, you told her that you be at the kitchen to make some snacks for the both of you. She just hummed as an approval before pulling you, forcing you to lean down to her as she plant a kiss on your forehead and gesturing you to leave.

You sound like a puppy that was given a treat as you giggled while hopping towards the door to leave. She chuckled as she watches you disappear from her sight. Now, she's alone with her thoughts again..

Then something popped up in her mind.. You two haven't tried using sex toys before... She thought it would be nice try it out. She browse on a certain online shop to look for some toys to try when she came across with a purple dildo.. The size was maybe 7 to 9 inch who knows.. Of course she'll try that out first. She purchased it along with a strap/harness (whatever you call that) before setting her phone down on the table..

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It's been a few days. It's Bada's day off from her work so you two had the whole day to spend with each other. She's taking a shower while you're at the living room, watching some Kdramas to kill the time.

You perked up when you hear a door bell, as you quickly gets up from the couch to answer the door.. "Cominggg" you said in a sing-song tone as you walk towards it as you turn the handle..

A man with a bag, holding a small package was revealed when you open the door... "A package delivery for Miss Lee?" He asked..

"Oh" you paused.. "Ah.. she's busy at the moment... But I can take the package" you added as he nodded and handed you the package before you close the door.. Huh.. You wonder what she ordered online.. It's rare for her to do online shopping since she usually love to go out and buy things with you.. "Bada... Your package arrived" you called out before you went through her room. You placed the package on the top of her bed and stared at it. Of course, there's a part of you that just want to open the box. But it's also bad to open the stuff that isn't yours..

But it wouldn't hurt to look what's inside, no?

You slowly opened the package and your jaw dropped when you saw the stuff that Bada bought... "What the hell..." You uttered as you raised the toy to take a closer look. It's the first time to see something so... Huge... You quickly looked at your back, seeing Bada, standing at the door frame. A hand towel over her head, she's wearing a grey sweatpants and a sports bra, showing her toned abs. You gulped, seeing her shocked reaction when she sees you holding the toy. "Y/N.." She uttered..

"N.. Nuh-uh... It's not what it looks like... I mean... I.." You stutter as you toss the toy back on the package... "I mean... What is this... You bought this??? What are you planning, Miss Lee...?" You questioned as you stared at her. You can't help but feel embarrassed and aroused at the same time.. What the hell?

You feel your mind floats that you didn't notice that Bada was standing in front of you, her figure was towering you. You let out a yelp when she lift you up and lay you dow on the bed.. "B.. Bada..?" You gasped out but she shushed you..

"I want to try something new.." She started as she looked down at you, her hand slowly trails up to your thigh, gently squeezing it, earning another gasp from you.. "It's fine to use a toy to make you feel good, hm?" She asked as she tilts her head to the side...

You looked up at to her, your cheeks flushed at her questions.. "I... It looks big tho...?" You uttered as you watched her took out the harness and the toy... "But I'm sure you'll get used to it?" She replied as she took off her sweatpants, only leaving with her sports bra and her grey underwear, setting the harness of her strap.. "Don't worry... I'll be gentle.. Since it's also my first time using this" she added, reassuring you that everything will be fine.

She attached the toy on her strap as she spreads your legs, letting the tip of the toy, touch your heated core. You shuddered at the anticipation, causing her to smirk at the sight.. Her hand trails up from your thigh to the fabric of her short, that's covering your aching cunt. You watches her thumb slowly rub a circle against the bundle your nerves, causing you to let out a muffled sigh, your hand balling into a fist against the bedsheets.

"Let's take this off.." She uttered as her both hands, grip at the waistband of your short. You took the initiative and lift your hips up to help her take off your shorts and your underwear..

She tossed it on the floor as her thumb went back from rubbing your clit, earning a loud gasp coming from you. Your fingers were between your lips as your gaze was focus on her.

Bada chuckles at your changed expression... "Look at you, love.." She uttered as her slender fingers slowly plays with your entrance.. You gasped again.. "M.. Mn.. Bada.. Hurryyy..." You whined, but you feel like your mind went blank quickly when you felt her middle finger slid inside..

She slowly move her finger inside, slowly adding more digit to stretch you, just enough to fit the toy inside you.. You two haven't even reach the exciting part but you're already sensitive. "Love, don't tell me you're gonna cum? I'm just getting started" you heard her say as she continues to move her fingers inside of you... She knew you very well, where your sweet spot was located.. But she's not gonna let you go off, just yet..

You whined loudly when she pulled her fingers quickly... "N.. No.. Wait.. Why'd you pulled out..?" You stuttered as you watched her hovers on top of you.. "Because... I'm not finished yet.." She hummed as she teases the tip of the toy on your sensitive bud, making you shudder, underneath her.

Her hand gripped tightly as she slowly pushes the length on your entrance, causing you to part your lips and arching your back. You choking to let out a moan.. "W.. T.. Too much.." You whine.. Her free hand caress your face, removing the strand of your hair, that was covering your beautiful face... "Shh... You'll be okay, yeah? I'll take it slow, don't worry" she reassured as she leaned down, planting a kiss on your forehead..

Bada slowly pushes the length, till she's fully inside of you... You cried out, feeling overwhelmed and full at the same time.. Heavy breaths slowly starts to come out from you as she tries to soothe you... "It fit in, see?" She said as she lift herself up showing you the close distance between her hips and yours... "You did well, love.." She praised..

After a few moments, she noticed you slowly relaxing and seems to get used to the feeling of it, inside of you. She took the initiative to move herself. The move was slow and passionate, enough for you to writhe and moan underneath her. Her grip on your hips, slowly tightens as she muffled a huffs and grunts, imagining the toy was her actually part of her.. "Fuck... So tight..." You heard her muttered as she bit her lips, watching you getting lost on the overwhelming pleasure..

You cried out loud when you felt her starts rubbing your bundle of nerves as she continues to assault your insides.. "Y/N... Fuck... You feel so good.." She uttered... God she can't even feel any shit, but she could imagine you actually wrapping yourself around her cock, like it's a real thing...

A tight feeling starts to form inside as your hand balls into a fist... "B... Bada... I.." You started to form out words but failed to do, as your mind was clouded. She knew what you meant as she starts to pick up the pace. Moving her hips in a fluid but fast motion. Her eyes never leaving you, watching you bit your fingers as you arched your back. Her gaze, catching a tears, starting to form on your eyes..

"Fuck... I feel like I'm gonna cum.." She murmured before leaning down, catching your lips for a kiss, swallowing all the erotic sound that you make..

Soon enough, you felt your orgasm overflows you, letting out a cry, hips trembling from the intense pleasure, whining as she slowly rode out your orgasm.. Once she's satisfied, she slowly pulled out before laying down beside you... "So.. Did it satisfy you?" She asked as she wrapped her arms around you, securing you into an embrace. "Because it sure did, to me" she added as she laughs..

You just let out a muffled grunt... "We're not gonna use that, next time..." You uttered as she quickly pulled away, slightly to look at you. "Why?"

"That's so big? What if you got carried away, and almost killed with it?" You asked in a joking manner. She snorts before pulling you closer again.. "That's not gonna happen... I promised to be gentle, didn't i? So just trust me." She said as she plants a kiss on the top of your head.. You just let out a weak sigh as a response, feeling the fatigue, slowly spreading in your body, making you tired and vulnerable..

You took a mental note to keep checking on her whenever she's on her phone.. Who knows what she might buy next...

[chilisworld55]

Talk to me | Carlos Sainz c55

🌶️ warnings: none, just fluff and comfort

a/n: hi! i hope you like this and im so sorry for any mistakes, ill try to improve! feel free to leave requests, feedbacks or anything your want to 🫶🏻

Since the news of Hamilton replacing Carlos in ferrari went out, he’s been trying not to be so affected about it but it seems to be impossible.

The Spaniard has been doing great this season, podiums in almost all races, except from the one in which he couldn’t race thanks to his appendicitis, but he got in first place on the next race. Latest race was awful for the tifosi though, both ferraris DNF.

Carlos’ been loaded with a bunch of questions whether it was in interviews or simply social media

“have you signed with another team?”,

“where are you going for next season?”,

“do you think you will have a seat in 2025?”

and many more of this kind…

“Amor…” you called him but his gaze just seems lost in his thoughts.

“Amor, are you okay?” you called him again, walking closer to him. He was sitting at the couch so you got in front of him, your hand caressing his cheek trying to find his gaze.

Once you did, he gave you a little smile but he looked sad. “Perdóname cariño ¿qué pasa?” im sorry, love. what’s wrong? he asks, placing his hand over yours, bringing it closer to his mouth and place a kiss on the back of it.

“what do you mean whats wrong? that’s what I am asking you. you seem off lately, everything is okay? did something happen?” your thumb caressed his cheek, sitting on the little table in front of the sofa.

“no… i mean, yes. everything’s fine, don’t worry” he gave you that little sad smile again and you know him well, he does that every time something’s wrong.

“hey, Carlos please, talk to me. i don’t like seeing you like this” you pout and lean in to leave a little peck on his puffy lips.

“can we cuddle?” he asks with a little voice and you heart melted. you love how his love language is mostly physical touch but when he asks for it? he’s just too cute.

“sure, love… wanna go to out bed or-“ he didn’t even let you finish your sentence before he grabbed you and pulled you on his lap, your legs on each side. His strong arms wrapped around your waist and his face buried on your neck.

He just stayed there in absolute silence, breathing slowly and having his eyes closed tight. He just wanted to have you close to him, needing this for a moment.

“im just worried about my career and everything else related to that…” he whispered, finally speaking up after about 10 minutes of silence, burying his face further into you neck if it’s possible.

“is this about your seat for next season?” you ask, hands going up and gently start caressing his hair, your fingers combing it back.

“which i do not have yet… but yes.” he mumbled, fingers playing with one of the stands of your hair and you were about to say something but he interrupted-

“what if i don’t have a seat for next season? what if they find someone million times better and i don’t get to have a seat? what if my career as a f1 driver ends this year? In every interview or every fan that asks me what’s going to happen with me for next season… i don’t know what else to answer”

he’s been overthinking about this so much and you know it, so you are always trying your best in listening to all his concerns and being supportive, always being there for him no matter what.

“Carlos, mi amor, it’s okay to be worried but i don’t really think that your career is going to end this year or any time soon” you whisper, you fingers pulling his chin up just wanting him to look into your eyes. “you are such a great driver, i need you to know that”

“but… i had to retire in the last race… cometí un estúpido error” i made an stupid mistake he looked into your lips, not standing to look into your eyes, feeling so vulnerable as he rarely shows this side of him. “what if the results of the last race affected my opportunities-“

“Carlos don’t do this to yourself” you interrupted him this time. “You are a human being, you make mistakes, I make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. Even the best F1 driver of all history makes mistakes!” you ran your fingers over his soft hair once again.

“you’re one of the very few drivers who had won and been in podium at most races during this season. You just had a bad weekend like every other driver. And you know what? next week it’s your home race. And you’re going to be back on podium, okay?” you cupped his cheeks and he finally looked into your eyes with a lovely stare, full of love and admiration for you.

“te amo. te amo muchísimo. lo sabes, verdad?” i love you. i love you so much. you know that. right? He placed his forehead against yours, both of your lips brushing together as you smile widely at his words.

“si, lo sé, yo también te amo mucho” yes, i know, i love you so much as well You kiss him passionately for a couple of seconds, his arms hugging your figure and caressing your sides.

“And for next season and for the rest of this one, you will do so good that ferrari and any other team is going to regret not having you”

“Que afortunado que soy, que he hecho para merecerte, cariño” how lucky i am, what have i done to deserve you, love

[bbrissonn]

𝐚𝐥𝐥-𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 - 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐢

summary: in which no matter how much you tried, you were never good enough for him and you decide it was time for things to get messy within the hockey team

disclaimer: english is not my first language and this is not proofread so please excuse any errors and if any words are missing add them in your head :) also this is a work of fiction, this doesn’t reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn’t how i imagine them acting 

warnings: angst, swearing , not proofread  

pairing: luca fantili x reader

wc: 5.4k (including lyrics)

a/n: i gave some guys on the team a girlfriend, completely random name so don't go trying to find them lol

guts masterlist

I am light as a feather, I’m as stiff as a board

I pay attention to things that most people ignore

And I’m alright with the movies

That make jokes ‘bout senseless cruelty, that’s for sure

And I am built like a mother and a total machine

I feel for your every little issues, I know just what you mean

And I make light of the darkness

I’ve got sun in my motherfuckin’ pocket, best believe

Yeah, you know me, I

You tried, you really did. You took note of every little things he’d mention, hoping that it would be useful in the long run, hoping he’d noticed how much you cared about him. You waited and waited and waited, but it never happened. All the efforts you made to be the perfect girlfriend for him always went unnoticed, brushed to the side. 

You always made sure you looked your best whenever you’d go to his game, wanting to fit the role of the stereotype hockey girlfriend, even though you were far from it. Your body wasn’t as slim and fit as the others and you didn’t have a model like face, but Luca always though you were perfect. You didn’t believe most of time, there were hundreds of girl, prettier girls, that would jump at the occasion to be his girlfriend, so why had he chosen you? 

You went to every single home game, even if it’d meant you’d have to stay up late to do homework, you even went to the games at Michigan State. You were always there to support him, but he was never there for you. You knew it was hard for him to always be free, not having access to his phone for a solid three hours during the afternoon, and when he’d get back to his dorm, he’d fall asleep right away. You never really saw him much during the days, with him having all his classes in the morning, while yours were mainly in the afternoon, nights were the only time you could see each other. 

Even when you spent time together, it was rarely alone. He was close to all his teammates and apparently spending all afternoon together wasn’t enough for them and they always needed to spend their nights together. You two barely ever got alone time, but you tried not to think about it too much since Luca was always more focused on you than his teammates sprawled around his shared dorm room. 

His teammates liked you, you were nice to all of them the moment you met them and they could see how much Luca liked you. Some of them didn’t really understand what he saw in you, something you wish you didn’t know as you overheard them one night during a get together at the senior house. 

You had been outside for a while now, talking to your mom on the phone as you walked around the small backyard of the senior house. Luca was with you for the first couple of minutes of your call, talking to your mom a bit before heading back inside and letting you have alone time with her. As you started making your way back to the backdoor, you saw a couple of figures standing there, nothing unsual. You were planning on just walking past them, smiling at them and letting them go along with their conversation until you heard your name. 

“Wait, who are we talking about again?” Dylan asked the others, before taking a sip of his beer. 

“Y/n.” You heard Johnny answer, and you stopped dead in your tracks. You knew you shouldn’t, it was wrong, but you couldn’t help it. They couldn’t see you since you were on the side of the porch, and no lights were they, you were like a ghost. 

“Oh, yeah, totally agree with you man. Don’t get me wrong, she’d nice and all, but like she barely ever talks.” The Duke boy said, making a couple other guys agree with him. 

“Exactly, what does he even see in her, anyways?” One of them said, making your smile drop. 

“She’s just shy, doesn’t like big groups, that’s all. Once you get to know her, she’s always talking, it’s great ‘cause Luca leaves me alone now. She’s makes him happy, that’s all the really matters.” You recognized Adam say, making your smile grow a little. Over the last six months, you had grown quite close to your boyfriend’s little brother, and hearing him defend you warmed your heart. 

“Dude, all we’re saying is he could do better.” 

“Whatever, I’m going back inside.” Adam said, and soon you heard the door open and all the figures disappeared. You stood there for a while, thinking about everything that you had heard. Your feelings being hurt a little before shaking it all off and walking back inside, quickly finding your boyfriend, who was standing with his brother. 

You never told Luca, or any of them that you had heard their conversation. You knew Luca would get mad at his teammates, and that was the last thing you wanted. You did realize that after that night, Adam started being even nicer to you, always telling you how happy you made your brother, and how thankful he was that you were the one making him this happy. He truly felt like your own little brother in a way.

But something in you changed that day, whenever you’d be having the smallest interaction with any of them, there would always be a voice in the back of your mind reminding you of that conversation. So, you didn’t make much effort to become good friends with any of them, clearly most of you didn’t even think you should be dating their teammate so why would they want to be friends with you? 

Luca wasn’t exactly happy that you weren’t that close to anyone, but you were with Adam, so he considered it a win. He always reminded himself that just because his teammates were his best friend didn’t mean they had to be yours too, he just happy none of them hated you. 

As time went by, you’d now notice some of the weird looks his teammates would give themselves whenever you’d hug Luca after their game, or when you’d be with him at a party and his arms was always around you. But you didn’t let it bother you, you were happy in your relationship, you didn’t need the opinion of other’s, and honestly, they didn’t really have a right to be judging two people for being in love with one another. 

You didn’t know whether or not your boyfriend knew about how some of his best friends felt about your relationship, but you really hoped he didn’t. If he did, it would break you, that he knew what his friends were saying and thinking, but didn’t defend you like his brother had, or that he hadn’t told you about it. 

That all changed one cold night in February.

You were currently standing outside of the Yost arena, Luca had texted you barely minutes before telling you to go wait outside for him. You didn’t really understand why, considering how cold it was, but you did anyways. No one else was around, all the spectators had left almost an hour ago, and all the other girlfriends were waiting inside, in the warmth of the arena. 

“Hey.” You heard your boyfriends voice, making you turn around with a bright smile. 

“Hi, baby. You played amazing!” You told him, rushing over to his warm body and hiding in his arms. The boy chuckled a bit before wrapping his arms around you. 

“I need to talk to you about something.” He mumbled after a couple of seconds, making you pull away from his body. Your hands reached down to his arms, that had fallen from your shoulders, your mittens covered hands holding his bare ones. 

“What’s up, loves?” You asked, only to be met with a sigh from him. Your smile dropped right away, what was going on? 

“I need you to know that I am sorry, okay?” You nodded slightly, confused as to why he was saying that. “I think it’d be better if we weren’t together anymore.”

“What?” 

“I just- I need to focus on hockey, and school.” 

“Oh.” You whispered, your hands letting go of his and falling next to your body. A heavy sigh left your mouth as you tried your hardest not to cry. “O-okay.” 

“So, we’re good?” His question broke you. Not you weren’t, you were far from good. The boy you had fallen in love with in early September had just broken up with you, how were you supposed to be okay with that?

“We’re good.” You lied. Luca smile brightly before giving you and small hug, and before you knew it, he was gone. You were left all alone outside in the freezing cold as he headed back to his friends, ready to enjoy their night, while you were left heartbroken. 

Maybe his friends were right after all…

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American

The next week was hell, everywhere you went, you’d see one of his teammates. It was like they had all mutually agreed to just be everywhere you were, follow you around just to make you remember every single second of every day that your relationship with Luca was over. 

But clearly he hadn’t even told him, the text from Adam asking if you two had gotten into a fight since you hadn’t been to their dorm in a couple of days, and Luca was talking about everything but you. Your feelings were hurt a little, that he wasn’t even acting like your break-up fazed him at all, like everything in his life was perfect. It hurt even more that you had to be the one to break to news to his brother, scared that Adam would choose to break off all links of communication the two of you had. 

Luckily for you, he didn’t, if anything, to him it just gave you an extra reason to become even closer to him. He knew how much you loved his brother and how much Luca loved you, so he truly didn’t understand why his older brother had done it in the first place. Just because you and Luca weren’t together anymore, didn’t mean you had to lose him too, were his exact words. You knew in that moment that you had a real friend in Adam, one that you wanted to keep for the rest of your life. 

You hadn’t gone to any hockey game after that, no matter how much Adam begged, you weren’t ready to go back to the place where your relationship ended. But when the team had made it to the semi-finals of the big ten championship, facing off again Ohio State, you knew you had to be there. Even though you weren’t physically at the games, you were still watching from home, your heart dropping every time Luca’s name would be mentioned. 

Being back felt weird, it was a place you had grown so fond off, watching your boyfriend and your so-called friends play the sports they love with each other, befriending all the other girlfriends, it was truly special. But it was so different now, you felt like you didn’t belong here anymore. Adam had tried to convince you to seat in the same seat Luca always had for you, but you didn’t want to, not wanting to face all the other girlfriends yet. 

You came with your best friends, so you wouldn’t be alone, and made sure to be near the back rows, you knew the boys always liked to spot people in the crowds, and you didn’t want them to know you were here. You had made Adam promise not to tell anyone you were here, and that you’d wait for him after the game in your car all the way at the end of the parking lot. He was the only one on the team you wanted to see tonight, you came here for him and only him, and because your best friends wouldn’t shut up about going. 

Unknown to you, Luca had spotted you the minute he stepped onto the ice. He hated to admit it, but his eyes still searched for you in the crowd, only he was always met with disappointment when he would not find you. Tonight was different, you were here. Part of him felt like he should be happy you were, or even sad, seeing as it was the first he’d seen you since the break-up. But he wasn’t, no he was angry. Why? He didn’t know. 

After the game ended, with Adam getting two goals and two assists, your friends had gone home right away, tired from all the yelling they had done during the night. So, you waited alone in your car, making sure to park right under a street light so Adam could spot you easily, and so you could see if any weirdos were approaching. 

Luca had left before his brother, Johnny and Gavin walking next to him as they walked out of Yost, and that’s when he saw your car. He knew he should’ve just ignored it, kept walking home, but he couldn’t. He knew you were here for his brother and him only, Adam had told him after Luca corned him after the warm ups. The right thing was to just leave you alone, pretend he didn’t see you, but his legs were moving faster than his brain was. 

The loud knock on your window made you jump, yelping at bit at the sound. You looked to your left, only to be met with an angry Luca. You bit your lip slightly before rolling down your window enough so you two could hear each other. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked. His tone was harsh and mean, something you had never heard from him before. 

“I am here for Adam, so if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to step away from my car and leave me alone.” You answered him, matching his tone. If he wanted to be a bitch to you after he broke up with you, then he better be expecting the same energy back. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

“And who are you to be telling me this? Last time I checked, this is a public parking lot, so I have every right to be here.” You said, you knew that wasn’t what he meant, but you didn’t care. He had no right to walk over here, and talk to you like this. 

“You know that’s not what I fucking meant.” 

“Am I not allowed to cheer for my school? Is that illegal now, Luca?” You said harshly. Luca’s eyes were staring into yours, and you could tell he was holding back from yelling, which scared you a little. 

“You have some nerves-” 

“Oh, I have some nerves? You broke up with me, Luca, not the other way around, and your stupid if you think that’s gonna stop me from coming to see Adam play. I am not here because I wanted to see, if that’s what you’re thinking. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Adam. So, get whatever stick you have shoved up your ass out of it and leave me alone.” You said firmly before closing your window and going back on your phone. Luca started knocking over and over on your window, but you didn’t move. You were done with this for the night. After about a minute or two, the boy ended up sending you a text, making you roll your eyes. 

Luca 

ur so fucking petty omg, grow the fuck up and get out of your car

You let out a scoff before turning to look at him with a ‘are you serious’ face. If you were being petty, you didn’t even know what word was describing him at the moment. Thankfully, Adam arrived and the two of them began bickering like little children until the older boy eventually walked away, not before sending you a death glare, and the younger one joined you in your car. 

You started driving immediately, neither of you talked, but you feel Adam’s gaze on you every once in a while. This was exactly why you didn’t want to come to the games before, something was bound to go wrong. 

“I am sorry.” He mumbled after a couple of minutes as the car was stopped at a red light. When you turned your head to look over at him, his eyes were already looking in your direction. 

“It’s whatever. He’s an asshole.” 

I am light as a feather, I’m as fresh as the air

Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair

I got class and integrity

Just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear

With love to spare, I

About a week later, you were laying in bed, your laptop on your lap as you watched the team celebrate their win. Adam had played wonderfully and you couldn’t be prouder of him. Your heart still dropped a little every time the commentators would mention Luca, and even more when they showed the boys after the game. 

You knew it was wrong, you shouldn’t be thinking this way, but you couldn’t help it. He looked so good with his slightly damp hair, the wide smile on his face as he hugged all of his best friends making you smile as well. But you quickly reminded yourself of what he had done and said, making you close your laptop in a heartbeat. 

You then sent a text to Adam, congratulating him for their victory before going to bed. Well, you just laid in bed in the dark, your phone’s screen being the only source of light. Adam answered you almost an hour later, thanking you and saying he’d call you the next morning. You went to sleep not too long after answering him, wishing him a good night and a safe flight home. 

It was almost noon when the younger Fantili boy called you the next day, you could tell he had gone to bed very late, well early this morning. His voice was still a little stuffy like he had just woken up, making you giggle. The two of you chated for a while before he informed you the hockey team was throwing a party that was pretty much open to all students. He hadn’t invited you directly, but made sure to state very clearly that you were always welcomed if you wanted to stop by for a bit. 

You almost laughed at his words, he was a little delusional if he though you’d like the spend the night with your drunk ex who’d probably be making out with a girl the whole time. He was a little sad when you told him you probably wouldn’t come, but he understood, especially after whatever Luca had said to you last week. 

Weirdly enough though, as the clock hit seven at night, you were standing in your bathroom, getting ready for said party. Why? Revenge. You knew deep down what you were about to do was fucked up, but you didn’t care. They deserved it, all of them, Luca more than the other, but they still did. All those people who pretended to be your friend, only to act like you didn’t even exist the moment you and Luca broke up. Not to mention that conversation you over heard was constantly replaying in your head since your break-up. Yeah, they deserved it. 

Realistically, your plan wasn’t that mean, you’d just be ruining a night celebrating a victory they had worked so hard for during  the whole season. You had gotten some information through Adam that the boys always “shit talked” some of the other girlfriends, of course without mentioning what you had heard from them. Long story short, at least one of them all had a problem with someone’s girlfriend, but they never said anything to the boyfriends. Pretty fake in your opinion, because truth be told, they weren’t really brothers like they always said, they didn’t like some at least. 

When you walked into the senior house, the place wasn’t that full, but this wasn’t any surprise to you considering it had started almost four hours ago already and most people had probably went home by now. Finding Adam was pretty easy, he was in the kitchen refilling his cup when you gently tapped his shoulder. A wide smile appeared on his face when his eyes met yours and his arms quickly wrapped around your waist. 

“You came?” He asked surprised as the two of you pulled away and he grabbed an empty clean cup for you. 

“Got a little bored, I guess.” You told him, filling your cup with water. You hadn’t came here to get drunk out of your mind like all the others here, you came here with an endgame. 

“Well ‘m glad you did. I think I saw that girl you always talk about from your English class, you-” 

“Cool, I’ll go find her!” You lied before walking away from him. Honestly, you didn’t really care that she was here, your eyes not bothering to find her as you walked through the house, spotting the group of girlfriends immediately. They were all chatting between them, but quickly stopped when they realized you were standing there. 

“Oh, please, don’t let my presence disturb your little conversation.” You said with a smirk, only making all of them look at you with weird looks. 

“What’re you doing here?” Ethan’s girlfriend, Hailey, asked. The two of you were never really close, same with Nolan’s girlfriend, Taylor. 

“I just really wanted to say how it’s so cute that you’re all able to be friends with each other and like one another, unlike all the guys. Real cute.” 

“The fuck does that mean?” This time it was Jacob’s girlfriend, Bianca, who spoke. You looked over at her, sending a massive grin before answering. 

“I am just saying, some of them are real good at pretending to be your friends, but then go shit talk about you to each other.” You said, before showing them the text message Adam had sent you. It clearly stated that they all talked about the other guys’ girlfriends badly, but never in front of whoever they were dating. Clearly just showing that they’re “we’re brothers” thing they’d always say whenever a new girlfriend was introduced was complete bullshit. 

“How do we know it’s not fake?” 

“It happened to me too. Heard a couple of them talking about me outside one night. Go ask your boyfriends if you don’t believe me.” You shrugged before walking away from them. A smirk was plastered on your face as you stood outside, sipping on your water, knowing the girls were confronting the boys at the same moment. 

You were standing outside for a couple of minutes before Adam joined you, giving you a stern look.

“What’d you do?” 

“Nothing.” You said, your smirk only growing as you looked inside, the house now empty of all the strangers. The only people left were the players and their girlfriends, who all looked like they were not having a pleasant conversation. Well, that was until all the guys started yelling at each other. 

“Y/n.” Adam mumbled sternly, making you roll your eyes. 

“I just told them the truth. About how you all talk shit about them behind their backs, but then none of you have the guts to say it to each other. I mean, why would they right, you couldn’t tell me or Luca.” Suddenly, you found yourself angry at the boy in front of you. He had let both you and Luca that your couple was loved by all of them, let you believe they were all your friends. His face turned white at your words, only making you scoff. 

“Y/n…”

“It’s pathetic really, all that bullshit about you guys being like brothers, but then you pull some shit like this.” You cut him off. Right as Adam was about to say something else, the sliding door behind you opened and your body was pulled inside the house.

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American Bitch

With perfect all-American lips

And perfect all-American hips

I know my place

I know my place and this is it

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Someone asked as you now stood infront of everyone, all the guys looking at you with angry eyes, while the girls all hugged each other, some of them crying. 

“I think the real question here is, what the fuck is wrong with all of you? Talk shit behind our backs and then acting like your our friends five minutes later. If you don’t like someone, don’t fucking pretend like you do and then shit talk them when they can hear you.” You spat, your eyes looking between all of them until you spotted Luca, who was standing all alone in a corner. “Hoping that your “brother’s” goes to shit ‘cause you don’t like who they’re dating. Seriously, how old are you? How insecure of yourself do you have to be to say things like this?” 

The house was silent after, all the girls were nodding at your words. The boys, well at least the guilty ones, all looked at the ground, while the innocent ones looked angry and pissed, but not at you anymore, at each other. 

When none of them said anything for a solid minutes, you just scoffed and made your way out of the house. You had done what you came here to do. You started walking down the sidewalk, back towards your dorm, when you heard someone call out your name. You turned around, only to see Luca chasing after you. 

“I didn’t know, I swear-” 

“I know you didn’t, Luca.” You cut him off with a soft smile. 

“I didn’t break up with you because of them. I really like you, I really do. You’re amazing, Y/n. But, I just… I don’t want a relationship right now.” He explained, your smile turning into a sad one. 

“I get it. I want you to be happy, Lu, and if that means us not being together, then I’m okay with it.” It pained you to say it, but it was true. All you wanted for the boy was to be happy, and if that meant you having to leave his life, you were okay with it. 

“‘M not saying never, though. The way I feel about you, I’ve never felt this way for anyone before. Like… I don’t how to explain it-”

“Right person, wrong time?” You asked with a slight smirk on his face, making the boy in front of you smile slightly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Let me know whenever the right time comes, yeah?” You asked softly, the boy nodding slightly before resting his forehead against yours. 

“I’m sorry about how I broke up with you, you deserved a better explanation.” He whispered, closing his eyes as he let his body relax. Your right hand moved up, cupping his cheek and you could feel him lean into your touch. 

“It’s okay, Lulu.” 

“But it’s not. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have done it that way. And I shouldn’t have came to your car and talked to you like that. I am so sorry, baby.” He said, as snow started falling from the sky. You could tell how deeply he meant his words, his voice cracking slightly. 

“Hey, look at me.” You whispered, gently tapping his cheek that you were still holding. After a couple of seconds his eyes opened and stared right back at yours. “It’s okay. It’s in the past.”

“You should hate me.” 

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, Luca.” You admitted, bitting your lip gently as the boy smiled down at you. “I really need to go home.” 

“I’ll walk you.” 

“It’s alright. I think they need you more than I do.” You said, nodding towards the senior house, making Luca sigh a bit. 

“Always have to clean up your mess, don’t I?” He joked, making you giggle slightly. 

“I’ll see you around, Lu.” You mumbled before pressing a kiss to his other cheek and walking away from him. The Fantili boy stood there for a bit, a smile on his face as he watched you make your way back to your dorm. Once you disappeared at the end of the street, the boy turned around and slowly started making his way back to the house. 

When he walked in, all the girls were gone, and the boys were now just all yelling at each other. Some were trying to calm the tension that was rising in the room, but didn’t succeed. Only, when Luca walked in, the room went quiet and everyone looked at him. Luca’s eyes found Adam’s, and the younger boy immediately knew what had happened out there, well almost. He for sure thought they had gotten back together, but he was close enough. 

“God, don’t tell me you got back with her?” Johnny said harshly, making Luca’s smile flatten as he looked over to his “best friend”. 

“Why do you care? Last time I check, who I date isn’t any of your business.” Luca sassed, making his younger brother smile slightly. 

“She ruined the night!” One of the guys called out, making Luca roll his eyes. 

“She said the truth. Maybe if you guys hadn’t talked behind their backs, none of this would’ve happened. I’m going home.” The boy mumbled before leaving the senior household once again, Adam following behind him. 

“So, are you guys back together?” The forward asked after a couple of minutes of them walking back to their dorm. 

“No. But, in the future we will, I know it.”

All the time

I’m grateful all the time

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

Oh, all the time

I’m grateful all the time (Greatful all the fucking time)

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

When summer came around, you had promised both Fantili boys you’d keep close touch with them, especially Adam since he’d be heading off to Columbus next season, which pained you a little, but you were happy for him. 

As the months passed by, you and Luca talked more and more every day, something Adam noticed and was quick to bring up to his brother. Luca was smiling at his phone all the time, and overall was just in a better mood than when you two had broken up. The older brother shrugged him off, claiming he was imaginating things, but they both knew it was a lie. 

You were over the moon when you arrived in Michigan, only to find that both brothers were already there, and a time to meet was quickly set. During your little hang out, it was clear to Adam that you and Luca were truly meant to be together, you both had giant smiles whenever you’d be talking to the other. For a majority of the night, it was mainly just the two of you in your own little world, but Adam didn’t care, Luca was happy, you were happy, and that’s all that mattered to him. 

“Don’t fuck this up, dude.” Adam whispered in his brother’s ear as the two of them hugged goodbye. Luca had admitted to him that he was planning on asking you out soon, something that almost made the younger boy scream. 

“I won’t.” And he didn’t. He asked you out, again, and you said yes, again, a week later. The two of you were just hanging in your dorm, you were complaining about how much homework you already had when he just blurred the question out. You were a little shock, but quickly agreed. 

When Luca told his teammates the two of you were back together, he received some questioning looks, but he just ignored them. He thought you were perfect, and that’s all that mattered to him. He didn’t care if his friends didn’t like you, he did and they’d need to learn how to deal with you being around even if they didn’t like you. 

You made him happy, and that’s all they should care about.

[atinyniki]

mistakes and apologies.

group: stray kids !

pairing: ex-cupid!hwang hyunjin x human f!reader

genre: angst, fluff, suggestive

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, hyunjin is referred to as jin, jinnie, hyune, blood (ish?), reader kinda is a dumbass, intimacy, mentions of sex (no smut), ANGSTTT, taehyun is readers ex-boyfriend, harin is taehyuns girlfriend, pregnancy, mentions of cheating, new relationships and the pain thata goes along with it, hyunjin starting his life as a human being, hyun = taehyun hyunjin = hyune (its meant to sound similar so jinnie gets jelly >:)) ), crying, drinking and alcohol.

authors note: (pt. 2 of cupid's arrow) repost of an old fic but took out the smut part of this bc... it didnt seem important. there are still sexual parts in this fic !!! remember that before reading please :) this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 5892

“y/n! i’m home!”

you walk over to the door, excited to see your boyfriend after he went out for groceries. he took a lot longer than you usually would, but you guess it’s because he’s never been grocery shopping before.

the second you saw him though, you realized you were completely wrong. your heart felt like it was going to explode again.

“how do i look?”

you walk over to him, twirling a couple strands of his now black hair around your finger. you beam at him, “it looks so pretty, jinnie...”

hyunjin’s heart swells in his chest. you’ve done this so many times before. when in bed, doing his makeup, while you’re reading, you always have your hands in his hair, but you’ve never done it simply just to admire it.

the look in your eyes slowly has him shying away, averting your gaze and settling his eyes onto your shoulder instead. “thank you…”

you grab some of the bags from his hand, bringing them to the kitchen and putting some things in the fridge. “i’m sorry, i wanted to look more… you know… human i guess? the pink stood out a little.”

you walk over to him and smile, tucking some of the black wisps of hair behind his ear. “why are you apologizing jinnie? i said it looks pretty on you! i love it.”

“oh. i dunno, i just- i know how much you loved my pink hair.”

he sets down the bags onto the counter, eyeing you as you approach him. you cup his face in your hands, smiling at him. 

his cheeks burn red at the proximity of your faces, and you finally give him a quick peck on his lips. “i love you hyune, you know that right? a hair color isn’t going to change how i feel about you, dummy”, you giggle.

he hasn’t gotten used to the whole relationship thing, but it’s safe to say he’s loving it so far.

“thank you, i love you too”

“i got the job!”

you jump up, walking over to hug him. “i’m glad, you deserve it. you’re really talented hyune” 

though it’s happened many times, he’ll never get used to your praise. it seems like you always know what to say in the moment, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

he holds onto you tight, pulling away a little to kiss your cheek. he giggles, “thanks y/n…”

after a moment of comfortable silence, you pull away and take his hand in yours. “come eat, i made dinner”

you both sit down at the table, talking more about his new job as a dance instructor. “when do you start working?”

“monday, and i only work weekdays”

you hum in acknowledgement, taking another bite of the jjajangmyeon you made. “how long do you work? just so i know in case we have to schedule things.”

“four hours a day, i start at four”

“hmm… okay”

he continues eating, surprised he’s never had this dish before, but then again, food was different up there. you grab onto his hand, smiling at him while you wait for him to finish eating.

he finishes his bowl not too long after, only to turn and see you staring right at him. you giggle, trying not to sputter out a laugh. “is something wrong?”

you smile at him, “you have a little sauce on your face”

“what? where?”

you point to where it is, but he misses. “here, let me”

you swipe the sauce away from his lip, and look back up into his eyes. he stares back with wide eyes, inevitably getting flustered at the little action. you pull him down by his shirt to kiss him once, pulling away not long after and bringing the bowls to the sink.

he stays sat at the table in surprise, is it normal to be so flustered all the time?

“hyune? are you in- oh…”

the pale yellow glow of his wings lit up the room just enough to see what was in front of him. he quickly shuts off his phone, where he has the reference photo, and almost knocks over the canvas in the process.

“don’t look…”

you giggle, walking over him and hugging him from behind. “awh… jinnie”

you watch as his cheeks flush red, and he brings his hands up to cover his face. “shut up…”

you pry his hands off his face and kiss him on the cheek, exaggerating it with a loud ‘mwah’. you see the smile erupt on his face, and you couldn’t stop anymore. you begin peppering kisses all over his face, sitting down on his lap somewhere in between.

he finally pulls away, only to finally kiss your lips. you deepen it, running your tongue along his bottom lip, silently asking for permission. of course, it’s not like he can resist anyways.

you tug some of his hair, earning a groan from him, and your heart feels like it’s going to explode. “hyune…”, you whisper.

he doesn’t let you continue, kissing you again and standing up, holding you against him. you wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you to the bedroom, the painting long forgotten. 

he climbs onto you, tugging on your shirt with his hands. you quickly throw it off, taking his off next.

“need you…”

“are you okay? do you need anything?”

“hyune, you’ve asked me that like… six times”

“oh… sorry”

you giggle at him, grabbing his arms and pulling him back down onto the bed. “come here”

hyunjin has put on a shirt already, but you’re still completely bare. you hold him close to you, giving him little kisses on his face and watching him giggle. 

his eyes are fixed onto your face, practically unable to wander anywhere else when he has this gorgeous sight in front of him. “you’re so beautiful”, me mutters as he kisses your cheek.

“i love you hyune”

his eyes widen again, it seems like he hasn’t gotten used to you saying it yet. he nuzzles into your chest, looking up at you again and kissing over your collarbone. “i love you too”

he wraps his arms around you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. “you know, i look forward to this everyday.”

you giggle, “what, sex?”

he smiles, “no, just to hold you.”

you blush, “oh, i-“

“shh… just rest now. need you close to me…”

your fingers graze his wings a little, and he immediately relaxes into your hold. yeah, you can definitely get used to this.

“open it!”

“i’m scared, is a spider going to jump out of it or something?”

“what?! no! just… just open it.”

you slowly take off the lid, spotting what looks like a mini photo book inside. “what’s this?”

“my sketchbook.”

you look back up at him, “don’t you need this?”

“it’s my old one, look inside”

you hold the book, admiring the work done at the front. pretty flowers are scribbled onto the cover, and you run your fingers along the grooves. you open the book, and your jaw drops instantly. 

you flip through the countless photos he’s drawn of you, even one of you on your first “date” at the cafe. you still remember how your nose bled so bad that day, and you smile to yourself.

“well, do you-“

before he can get his question out, you pull him into a soft kiss, smiling when you hear his surprised yelp. 

“i love it. its beautiful, hyune…”

his heart swells in his chest again, something about these moments felt so special to him. he hopes he’ll remember these moments forever. 

the honeymoon phase can only last so long, right?

you walk over to the snacks section, trying to find those chips that hyunjin really likes, but you can’t remember what they’re called. you stroll through the aisle, looking for the packaging.

you spot the light purple bag, picking it up until you hear a voice from beside you. “y/n?”

you turn your head to where you heard it come from, “hyun? hey!”

he walks over to you, it’s been a while since you’ve seen him last, only ever seeing his posts with his girlfriend. “how are you?”

he giggles at the question, but you’re not sure why. “good, i see you’ve been doing well.”

you give him a questioning look, until he begins playfully nudging your shoulder. “so thankful for my hyunnie”, he says in a mocking voice.

you quickly push him off of you, “shut up, taehyun”

“awhh, but you love him don’t you?”, he asks with pleading eyes. “yes, i do, now shut up about him.”

he giggles again, “is someone getting flustered?”

you finally turn towards him, rolling your eyes, “fine then, how’s your girlfriend hyun? don’t you love her so much?”, you giggle.

you watch as he flushes red, god you’re both in deep shit. after laughing at him for a little, he speaks up. “i actually came here to um… get a pregnancy test”

your eyes go wide, and your head shoots up to look at him. “wait… really?!”

he smiles, nodding at you. “we’ve been trying for a while”

“that’s great! you should probably get going now then, i don’t want you to worry her.”

he hums in agreement, smiling and bidding his goodbyes. you remind yourself to text him later to ask about it. 

you’re glad you stayed on good terms.

“what? really?! she’s really pregnant?”

“yes!”

“oh my gosh! i’m so happy for you guys!”

“how are you and hyunjin?”

the conversation went on for hours, it’s been a long time since you’ve really talked. you missed taehyun. not as a lover of course, but as a friend. he always knew how to listen to you and help you.

you try to block out the bad memories, the rejection and heartbreak. you wished you stayed friends, maybe it would be a lot easier to talk to him without all that history.

you start making the jjajangmyeon, hyunjin’s new favorite dish, with the phone at your side. “yeah he’s really come to like my jjajangmyeon so i make it a bunch”

“ah i see, harin loves jjajangmyeon too! maybe we should plan a double date”, he giggles.

you were so lost in the conversation that you didn’t even hear him coming through the door. he hugs you from behind, almost causing you to drop the pot you were holding. 

“god! you scared me…”

you pick up your phone, “sorry hyun, hyunjin just got home. i’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“of course! enjoy the food”

“thanks, bye hyun!”

“bye byeee”

you end the call, turning around to hug hyunjin properly. “dinners ready, i made you your favorite”

he gives you a tired smile, and you both sit down at the table with your plates. “who were you talking to earlier?”

you know he wasn’t being suspicious, and it was just out of pure curiosity, but the way he said it made you giggle. “oh, that was taehyun”

he hummed in acknowledgement. “never heard of them before”, he smiled. “yeah, he’s an old friend”

“ah… i see”, he takes another bite of his food, almost deep in thought. he knows very well who taehyun is, hyunjin was your cupid after all. but it seemed to fly over your head, you thought of hyunjin as a normal person now, your lover. 

“hyune? you okay?”

he looks up at you, smiling again and kissing your cheek. “just tired. missed you…”

you giggle again, hyunjin never fails to make you smile. “i missed you too hon.”

the silence felt truly comfortable with hyunjin. not too long after, you bring him to the bedroom, running a bath for him and slowly undressing him. 

“thank you…”

you give him a little kiss, “don’t thank me. this should be the bare minimum.”

after a moment of silence, you wonder why he hasn’t gone in yet. “is something wrong?”

“yes.”

he quickly undresses you, and you let him of course, although you’re a little confused. you expected him to be tired, not wanting any intimacy right now. 

instead of sitting on the bed, he picks you up and sets you down in the bathtub, settling in with you not long after. 

“need to be close to you…”

you massage his aching limbs with the foamy bubbles, smiling and kissing his face every so often. you know he’s working hard, and you just want to take care of him for now. “sorry for being so clingy.”

“don’t apologize, i need you just as much.”

you’ve finished the movie you were watching with hyunjin, finally grabbing the new book you bought to read. hyunjin stays put in your lap, enveloping himself in your warmth.

you start to read, the room completely silence aside from your breathing. “y/n?”

you were a little startled by his voice, but answered him. “yes jinnie?”

“can you… um- read to me?”

you giggle at him, poking his nose. “of course darling.”

you continue to read the romance novel, reading most of the soft scenes. hyunjin can’t help but imagine the both of you two in the book instead of the characters. 

his breathing stills, but he’s still awake. you don’t know that though. you continue to read, until you get a phone call. “hello? taehyun?”

hyunjin continues to act like hes asleep, scared that you’ll get mad if he interrupts. “hey y/n! how are you?”

“oh i’m pretty good, just reading a book right now. why what’s up?”

“well, harin wanted me to invite you over! i think she’s crazy but she really wants to meet you. says you remind her of her sister.”

you giggle, “oh yeah of course! when?”

“when are you free?”

“well, i can come over right now if that’s okay with you”

“of course! will you be bringing hyunjin?”

“no i don’t think so, he’s sleeping right now”

you both say your goodbyes, and you carefully slip off the couch, setting hyunjin’s head down into a pillow and covering him with a blanket.

you quickly get ready, leaving hyunjin a note on the table and giving him a peck on the forehead. you enter your car not long after, driving over to taehyuns.

hyunjin quickly got off the couch to check the note. 

‘going to taehyuns! he wanted to see me. i’ll be back soon love, make sure to eat!’

of course, hyunjin couldn’t hear the other end of h the phone call. he didn’t really know that taehyun had a girlfriend, or that you were going more to meet her rather than see taehyun. 

maybe you should’ve worded it better…

it’s been happening a lot now, you’ve been leaving the house to talk to harin and taehyun almost everyday. 

of course, hyunjin didn’t want to talk to you about it though, he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. he didn’t want to be jealous, he really did trust you but… he just couldn’t help himself.

he didn’t know how to approach you about it, so he planned on telling you when he got home. he just wanted to talk to you for a little bit, because truthfully, he just missed you.

“y/n? i’m home!”

he continues looking for you, but you’re nowhere to be found. he lets his wings out, wanting to relax for a bit. he looks for the note you’ve probably left on the counter. 

picking it up, he reads it, but it’s no surprise you’re at taehyuns. at least you leave a note, right? he walks over to the kitchen. maybe it’ll be better to talk about this over dinner?

it probably would be, if his wing didn’t get stuck between the door to the pantry. “fuck-“

he tries opening the door, but only folds the part of the wing. he screams in pain, trying to get it out carefully. it doesn’t budge. tears start leaving his eyes, he can’t escape. he does the only thing he can, and grabs his phone out of his pocket.

he calls you. no answer. he calls you again. no answer. fuck it.

hyunjin: y/n i need your help.

hyunjin: it’s urgent, come home please

hyunjin: y/n please?

no. answer.

shit. what now?

he tries prying himself out, but he pulls too hard. a loud scream echos through the empty house, hyunjin falling onto the floor. the half of the wing that’s been torn off has completely disintegrated into various colors of glitter.

a pink liquid drips from the inside of his torn wing, and he quickly grabs a tissue to stop it. he waits for it all to dry, and puts away his wings. 

maybe it’s better to rest for now. all of a sudden, he gets a phone call from an unknown number.

“hello?”

“hi! is this hyunjin?”

“yes it is, what can i help you with?”

“oh! im taehyun, im sure y/n has told you about me. long story short, we went clubbing for some fun and she got incredibly drunk… i don’t think she’s in proper condition to drive. is it okay if she stays over for the night?”

his heart sinks into his chest, he prays taehyun won’t take advantage of your vulnerable state right now. 

“oh yeah, of course. thanks for taking care of her.”

taehyun can hear the pain in his voice. “hyunjin, are you okay? i can drop her off and pick her up later to get her car if you’re more comfortable with that?”

“oh i’m okay! sorry… just hurt myself a little earlier and im a bit tired”

“ah i see, hope you feel better soon!”

“thanks taehyun. have a good night, text me if you need me”

he couldn’t stand waiting for a goodbye from taehyun, only hanging up and opening his messages again.

he unsends all the messages he sent you, scared you’ll feel bad for not being there. it’s okay, you were just drunk right? you wouldnt ignore him.

at least he hopes so.

“hyune? i’m home!”

“hey baby”, you hear from the couch behind you.

“oh gosh! you scared me”

he lets out a giggle, but you heard a different emotion laced into the sound. “sorry, just wanted to relax here for a bit.

“is something wrong? you texted me yesterday but it said you unsent the messages.”

“oh, no nothing happened. i was just asking about if you were coming home, but taehyun called me”

“oh okay! do we have any juice?”

“yeah, i bought some for your hangover. check the fridge.”, he replied a little coldly.

your heart clenched a little, confused as to why he was acting like this. you grab the juice and pour yourself a glass. 

you notice traces of glitter on the floor outside of the pantry. “hyune, why is there glitter on the floor?”

“oh, just residue from my wings.”

“oh…”

it’s quiet once again, and you walk towards the couch.

“are you okay?”, you ask a little quietly.

“just tired”

“oh… okay”

a moment of silence passes. normally it’s comfortable in eachothers presence, but this time it felt suffocating.

“i love you hyune”

he doesn’t say anything for a moment, clenching his fists to ease the pain coursing through his veins.

“i love you too”, he answers, a little slower than usual.

you sit down next to him, nuzzling into his warmth. he has every right to be mad, but he wraps his arms around you anyways. he’s still upset, but he’ll talk to you when you’re in the right mind.

that time never came. you went over to harin’s every day since then, normally coming home to see hyunjin already asleep. 

this time though, you don’t expect him to be standing right at the door waiting for you.

“where were you?”

“what? you know where i was. i was at hyuns”

he didn’t mean for the next question to come out so harsh, but he couldn’t help it. “are you cheating?”

your eyes go wide, “w-what?”

“are you cheating on me with taehyun?”, he asks again sternly.

“hyunjin that’s crazy, why would you even ask that?”

“you’re really gonna say “thats crazy” instead of denying it?”

you scoff incredulously, “no, i’m not cheating on you.”

“i- i don’t know if i can believe you anymore.”

“then why would you even ask if you’re so certain?”

he goes silent. a tear leaves his eye, his entire façade cracking. your heart felt like it was going to explode… not in the good way.

“i… i wanted to trust you. i wanted to believe you- but you… i don’t know anymore.”

“fine. text me when you realize you’re wrong. i’m sleeping over at harins.”

“who’s harin?”

“taehyuns fiancé.”

his heart stops.

“what? why didn’t you say he had one?”

“because, i thought you’d trust me to begin with.”

hyunjin’s eyes go wide, but before he can say anything, you turn around and leave. his heart feels like it’s been torn into a million pieces.

was it his fault then…? no… surely not…

life felt empty without you. hyunjin didn’t even have a life before he turned human, but it felt even worse without you. the person he’s been with since birth. the person he’s been through everything with, even if you weren’t aware of it.

his life was basically ruined without you. he doesn’t know when you’re coming back. it’s been two days already. the house is cleaned, he makes your favorite foods for dinner just hoping you’ll come back, but you don’t.

he spends his time painting, but he’s painted all he can. he has no reference photos of you anymore, he’s run out.

days pass… he’s forgetting the sound of your voice. he doesn’t want to. he sends you apologetic voicemails everyday praying you’ll send one back. you don’t.

taehyun has been calling him a lot too, assuring him that you just need time. he didn’t say it, but he knows you should’ve told hyunjin about his fiance first. maybe this could have all been avoided.

hyunjin can’t help but think it’s all his fault. he let his insecurities get in the way of rational thinking. of course you would never cheat! but… was the love you had even real?

it was all because of that stupid arrow, right? what if the spark you had was finally gone? he doesn’t want to think about it.

he quickly picks up another small painting, laying in bed and holding it in his hands. he doesn’t know if it’s right, or if it’s obsessive. all he knows is that he misses you. it’s been almost two weeks.

he’s been off at work, not as great as he used to be. he’s not the same without you, and it’s eating him alive.

“hey y/n… it’s been almost two weeks now. i miss you a lot. i’m sorry for not trusting you even though ive said it so many times, im just scared you’re going to fall out of love with me. maybe you already have… im sorry i have no way to get these feelings out other than to talk to a photo. i’m sorry i ever summoned that arrow, and im sorry i tore my wing. i wish i was good enough for you, i really do, and im sorry im not. i love you, and i miss you. please, come home soon. i just want to see you again. goodnight”

it’s become a regular routine after you didn’t answer his text or voicemails at night. he couldn’t call you, he couldn’t reach you in any way, but talking to you, or something that resembles you, helped him get those feelings out.

he drifts off to sleep almost and hour and a half later, he’s been having a lot of trouble with that lately.

you walk up to the house and unlock the door, trying to be as quiet as possible in case hyunjin was sleeping. 

you almost cry at the sight of him again, various paintings piled up onto the dresser on your side of the bed. you take off your clothes and change into more comfortable ones, sliding into bed and being careful not to wake him up. you don’t succeed though.

hyunjin notices you in bed, but waits till you’re asleep to say anything. he knows you need rest, and you need a lot of time too.

you fall asleep not too long after, your breathing becoming even. should he really do this right now? it’s not like he had a choice, anyways.

he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest and burying his face in your shoulder. he whispers to you, afraid you’ll be mad again if he wakes you.

“hey y/n… i missed you a lot. im so sorry for pushing you away from me. i shouldn’t have done it, and ill take the blame for what happened. i know i should’ve trusted you, and im sorry i didnt. i also really regret summoning that arrow when we met. why did you have to stab yourself with it? you know you’d be much better off without me, right?”

you feel a teardrop fall onto your neck, but you don’t dare make a noise. you need to hear all of this and plan out your apology.

“i’m glad you’re back. i was scared i’d forget your voice. ive learned how to cook just for you, and i made your favorite foods in case you came home. i made so many paintings of you. i even… i even read that book. the one you read to me that night before you went to taehyuns house for the first time. i read over the paragraphs that you read to me, trying to hear your voice say the words again. it didn’t work.”

you turn around finally, almost sobbing when you see him again. his eyes go wide, scared that he’s hurting you even more, and he backs away. “no! hyune… don’t go. tell me how you feel, please.”

he hesitates for a moment, but when you hold his hand in yours it all comes crashing down. 

“i love you so much y/n, but i can’t help but think you’d be better with someone else. im trying my hardest, but i always let insecurities get in the way of us. i should’ve trusted you. i don’t know why, but i just can’t see myself with you anymore because i know you don’t deserve it. you don’t deserve someone like me. you were forced to love me. you didn’t have a choice… but now you do. now you can get over me and fall in love with someone else, now that you know what it feels like. and… i can go back to being your cupid again. is that… okay with you?”

your heart stops. “what? no! no that’s not okay with me?! how could you even ask that hyune? i… i love you… i needed time to figure out how to apologize because… hyunjin- none of this is even your fault! it’s mine. i always went out with taehyun and never invited you, and i never even mentioned his fiancé! no wonder you got jealous… and even then i- i didn’t even give you any time. i always came home when you were asleep and that… that’s not okay. that’s on me. this is my fault hyune… please don’t blame yourself.”

“i’m sorry im asking you this again, and i really don’t want you to say anything to just sugarcoat it. promise you’ll be honest?”

“i promise. whats going on hyunjin?”

“do you really love me? it’s okay if you say no! i’ll understand, i promise… it’s just because of the arrow, right? i’m sorry i-“

you cut him off with a kiss, you couldn’t stand it anymore. teardrops dripped everywhere, collecting at the bottom of your chins as you began to sit up. “no… you’ve got it all wrong. i love you hyunjin. i promise”

more tears leave his eyes, small whimpers leaving his lips too. your heart cracked at every noise he made, but you hugged him tight while straddling him, splaying a hand across his cheek to soothe him.

“i’m so sorry hyunjin… this is all my fault, really. don’t blame yourself for anything. i’m sorry you had to deal with all these thoughts alone. i should’ve been there for you.”

“it’s okay… i just need you close now. can we talk tomorrow? please?”

you nod, kissing him again and laying down with him. you held him close to you, wrapping yourself around him to provide comfort. light sobs from him filled the room. you chose not to comment on it… it would only make you more upset.

you’ll make it up to him. you know you will.

“good morning, hyune”

his eyes flutter open, tears instantly run down his face as he looks at you, taking in your features in the light again.

“woah woah woah, what’s wrong?”

“nothing… i missed you”

your heart cracking more and more, this had to have been worse than the pain of rejection.

“i’m sorry. i should have come back earlier… i just wasn’t in the right mind.”

“it’s okay, love… just stay for now.”

you pull him closer to you, burying his face in your chest. “you know… my mom asked about you. i didn’t know how to tell her what i did, but it just all poured out. she told me to come here.”

“oh…”

“coming back into the house felt like a dream. i haven’t been here in so long, but i think what scared me was the paintings.”

“what… like my ‘shrine’?”

you giggle, “no hyune, not your little ‘shrine’, the ones outside. there were paintings in our house, and i had each stroke memorized by heart. our first picnic date, and the coffee date we had… i remember everything. but when i came home… they were all replaced with paintings of just me. i thought you left…”

you could feel your sleep shirt getting wetter and wetter from his tears, but you just pull him closer. “im sorry for hurting such a pure heart like yours, hyune. you didn’t deserve it.”

“i love you.”, he mumbles.

“hm?”

“i love you, y/n.”

“i love you too.”

he leans up to kiss your cheek. you know you have to make everything up to him, but for now you just wanted to enjoy this moment with him. 

it’s been a couple days since then. you’re getting settled again with him, and it’s not going too terribly. he’s been opening up about his feelings more, and you’ve been listening to the voicemails he sent you while you were away.

you walk back into his art studio, rushing to him when you see his wings out. “hyune? what happened?”

he turns to you, “hm?”

he quickly traces your eyes, realizing that you’re looking at his wings, and he immediately hides them. “take them out again… please? i want to see…”

he sighs, taking them out again. “oh baby… how did this happen?”

“it got stuck in the middle of the door hinge. i tried to get it out but it tore.”

“oh… why didn’t you call me?”

he stays silent. you think back to the day you came home, and the glitter you found on the floor near the pantry.

“shit… it was- you did call me… but i was drunk, wasn’t i?”

“don’t feel bad about it please, it wasn’t your fault. you were just drunk”

you kneel down next to him, grabbing his legs and pulling so he’s staring at you. he drops his paintbrush onto the easel. “what are you doing?”

you quickly pull his shirt off, earning a questioning look from him. “y/n, is this really the time to be-“

you cut him off when you gently touch his wing over the tear, finally reaching up to kiss it. you kiss all over the edge, earning giggles from him. “stop! it tickles”

you look at him, hugging him at his waist again, then leaning over to kiss his chest. “my mom always used to kiss my scars. i’m sorry i can’t kiss the ones ive left on your heart.”

his eyes widen, tears flowing down his cheeks, and you bring your hand up to swipe them away. 

“don’t cry baby… you don’t deserve it. i’m so sorry i hurt you.”

he kicks his chair to the side, kneeling so that he’s level with you. “thank you… but that’s not your job. you know that. you’ve apologized, i forgive you.”

tears leave your eyes again, he sounds so sincere, even though you’ve broken his heart already. “i love you… im so sorry.”

“i love you too. please don’t apologize.”

you pull him into another hug, still sniffling from your tears. “i’ll be better. i promise, hyune.”

“you’re okay… calm down, my love”

“wow… hes so beautiful…”

hyunjin cradles little minjoon in his arms, watching him thrash and blubber. 

“thank you, hyunjin”, harin smiles at him. taehyun is right at his side, watching hyunjin play with minjoon.

your heart swells in your chest, he looks so cute with him, you can’t wait to have one of your own.

not long after, the two of you leave, walking into your home together and discussing your little trip. “thank you for letting me meet them… you didn’t have to.”

“of course i did! they’re my best friends now, it’s kind of required”

he giggles, picking you up and setting you down on the counter. “i really do love you, y/n.”

“i know… i love you too”

he lets his wings out, a purple glow filling the room. “baby?”

he picks you up, bringing you to the bedroom. “let’s have a baby.”

“what?!”

he sighs, “fuck… seeing minjoon…”

“oh my god… because of minjoon?!”

“please?”

you pull him closer, “fine… but you’re doing all the work this time.”

“i’ll do anything for you, darling”

“hyune!”

he rushes to the bathroom, a big smile on his face. “yes?”

“i’m pregnant!”

he picks you up, spinning you around and kissing your face repeatedly.

“really? are you sure?”

“im sure! i took three to check!”

“agghhhh! i love you so much!”

“i love you too, hyune.”

he looks at you again, a lovesick look in his eyes, and he promptly sinks to his knees. he pulls your shirt up, kissing over your tummy and hugging you close. 

“can’t wait to see you all swollen with my baby…”

“god hyune, you’re so whipped”

“i know i am, but only for you, dear”

you pull him back up from the ground, bringing him to the bedroom and laying down with him. “you’re so cheesy.”

“and you love me”

“so much, hyune. you don’t even know.”

“you’re the light of my life.”

you nuzzle back into his shoulder, smiling until you feel a teardrop hit your cheek. you look up at him, slightly confused. 

“you’re so pretty my love…”

“why are you crying?”, you giggle. “i can’t believe you’re really mine…” you hug him tight, kissing his shoulder.

“always yours. only yours.”

<3

[lxstfathier]

Hi could you please do sex pollen with bass or Alejandro Vargas or both with an inexperienced female reader please

Anon? anon who is bass?? i couldn’t figure out who you meant so, here it is, i did it with ale ;)

Flowers

Alejandro Vargas x Reader

Warnings: unprotected sex, p in v, sex pollen, squirting, age-gap, another fic of Ale taking our virginity cuz we love that shit!

A/N: i actually loved writing this lol, it was fun. you know english is not my first language, so there might be some errors, but i hope y’all like it 💗

You don’t remember exactly what happened. The mission went wrong, and you followed colonel Vargas into the woods, trying to scape from enemy fire, accidentally running into some bushes full of strange colorful flowers that you had never seen before. Then it all went blurry.

Now, two hours later, you’re on base again, feeling really weird. Your whole body is sensitive, as if it has been set on fire, heavy breaths escape your lips and a thin layer of sweat starts to appear on your skin. How are you supposed to deal with it? you don’t even know what is going on, but you try your best to stay quiet while a nurse examines all your vital signs.

“You’re fine” she says after making sure that you don’t have anything that could possibly affect your health. “But it seems that you’re under the influence of some… natural aphrodisiac. So i’d suggest you to, y’know, relieve all that sexual energy, it will make you feel way better.”

Natural aphrodisiac? oh, so now you finally understand why your poor pussy is so wet, clenching around nothing and practically begging to be fucked. It makes sense. However, you don’t have a problem with masturbating a few times until the effects wear off. So you thank her, and then make your way out of the medical bay, walking straight to your own room.

But you didn’t expected to run into you colonel again. Those flowers should have affected him the same way as you, that’s for sure, what is he doing in the hallway? he should be inside his room, doing god knows what to help himself with that issue.

“Sargento” Alejandro calls you, forcing you to stop dead on your tracks, even though both of you are not in the mood for talking. “What did the nurse told you?”

“She said i’m fine. It’s just the effects of a natural aphrodisiac what’s making me feel so weird.” you answer, smiling at him, trying to play it cool. “Why? do you have the same?.”

“Si” he nods, but you don’t hear the rest, all of your concentration is now looking at his pretty brown eyes, his lips, his stubbly jaw, his broad shoulders, his strong arms in that tight shirt, and that obvious bulge inside his cargo pants.

He’s always been a good looking man, you won’t deny it, but right now? he’s fucking sexy, radiating a strong masculine essence that makes your knees go weak and the heat in your belly grow more intense. Almost as if you were a bitch in heat.

All of your shyness is gone, and before you know it, you’re grabbing his hand to guide him into your room, not even caring that he’s way older than you, a colonel who is supposed to be your superior. The arousal clouds your mind, not being able to think about anything else than getting pounded by him all night until you can’t remember your own name.

And Alejandro knows he shouldn’t be so eager to fuck his sergeant, but how can he tell you no when you look so pretty and so damn needy?

Once you’re both inside, with the door locked and the lights on, he pins you to the wall, kissing you passionately as his big hands roam your clothed body. Something new to you, considering the fact that you had never been touched by a man before this.

Should you tell him that he’s about to be the your first sexual experience? maybe, but you don’t wanna ruin the mood, so you just let go, feeling your tongues dancing with each other, running your hands over his strong chest.

But, as much as you’d love to keep kissing, the heat caused by the aphrodisiac is now unbearable, forcing both of you to pull apart and take your clothes off. And it could be part of the effect of those annoying flowers, but when you finally see his muscles, his tan skin covered in sweat, and that big veiny cock springing free, your mouth waters and your pussy throbs, clearly enjoying the view.

“Like what you see, mi amor?” he asks teasingly, and you just nod. “Cause i really do, who would have known my sergeant had such a pretty body? huh?”.

Now that Alejandro sees you all exposed for him, admiring every detail of your being, he’s sure that you’re the most beautiful girl he has ever met. If he had known what was he missing on, he would have pushed you into those bushes way earlier.

You don’t really know what to do next, you’re flustered and too inexperienced, so when he notices your hesitance, he gently guides you to the bed, telling you to lay on your back and relax.

Alejandro kisses your neck, and then slowly goes down to your tits, playing with your nipples between his teeth. It’s almost like a torture, you want more than that, involuntarily bucking your hips to get at least a little friction, anything.

“Just fuck me already, please” you beg in a high pitched voice, desperate to feel him inside you.

“Such a needy little whore” Alejandro says, mocking your pathetic cries. But you don’t care, even less when he drops to his knees, prying your legs apart to have a good look at your perfect pussy before devouring it like a starving man.

He licks and bites at your slick folds, savoring the sweet taste, dives his tongue into your hole and goes up to your clit, sucking hard. It feels really nice, better than any of those times where you played with yourself at night, and it’s not long until you’re moaning, feeling that familiar knot in your lower belly while tugging at his dark hair.

You cum easily, arching your back off the bed, almost crushing his head between your trembling legs. But that doesn’t stop him, he keeps eating you sloppily until you ride out that first orgasm.

When you come down from the high, Alejandro is already on top of you, holding your legs on his shoulders, guiding his cock to your tiny wet hole. And, without a warning, he slides inside on a singular hard thrust, making you scream at the new sensation.

He’s big, so the sudden stretch is a bit painful, but once you get adjusted to his girth and he starts moving slowly, your pained cries turn into whimpers filled with pleasure.

“F-faster Ale, please, ah- god-“ you moan into his ear, going literally stupid on his cock that you can’t even say a simple sentence.

“Yeah? you want me to destroy this pretty little pussy?”

He starts thrusting harder, pounding your tight heat in the most delicious way, hitting that sweet spot inside you over and over. It’s good, way too good actually, and you can’t help but writhe under him, digging your nails on the nape of his neck.

Another orgasm is near, you know it, and he can feel it too by the way you��re clenching around his cock.

“That’s it, preciosa, you’re taking me so well” Alejandro growls, one of his large hands going down to find your clit, rubbing it fast in circular motions. “Cum for me again, come on.”

His words, mixed with the stimulation and the way he’s ramming into you, is just what you need to see stars. You come undone once more, feeling the intense pleasure in every inch of your body, moaning so loud that probably the whole base heard.

“Fuck, look at the mess you made” he says, looking at how your sweet juices are coating his abs and pubes. Did you just squirted? hell, that’s new, you didn’t knew you could do that.

Alejandro doesn’t take long to reach his own orgasm, thrusting a few more times until he’s cumming inside, filling that pretty pussy of yours with his thick seed as he bites your neck, letting out an animalistic grunt.

You both stay like that for a minute, too fucked out to move, catching your breath. And you’re feeling better, but the effects are still not gone at all.

“That was amazing” you say, stroking his beard, pulling him in for a quick kiss. “Can we do it again?.”

“As many times as you want, preciosa.”

[xqueen-of-disasterx]

Playing Dangerously

Paring: fem!reader × Natasha x Bucky

Warnings: SMUT, threesome, Dom!Nat, SwitchBucky, sub!reader, mommy kink, daddy kink, dumbification, oral, teasing, slight alcohol consumption, fingering, pet names,

A/N: I’m not really a shipper of this but friends with benefits Winterwidow is so hot. @syndote this one is for you.

!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional!

Masterlist

Don't get me wrong being with THE black widow was something many could only ever dream about but I had to admit that sometimes I felt like I never really got the chance to try different things. From the Red Room to S.H.I.E.L.D and directly into the red heads arms left little to no space for explorations of my sexuality. Sex with Nat was great and always left me satisfied but I couldn't help to wonder about the forbidden fruit, but mentioning this to Nat could lead to a hefty argument which I didn't want to risk; after all she was all a girl like me could want right?

"Bucky will join us for the mission" I turned away from the laptop screen I was watching an episode of modern family on (after spending so much time in russia I was dying to know what the American dream was like), I hadn't heard Natasha approach, spy I had to remind myself. "I thought this was gonna be a me and you thing" She chuckled leaning over the chair, swiping my hair over my shoulder, and letting her precisely painted lips meet the soft skin of my neck. "You know I only ever have eyes for you my little bunny"

I hummed as her sweetened words hit my ears, and made tingles run down my spine "I know Tasha" I sighed standing up but making the fatal mistake of leaving my laptop open. "I'll just be on the toilet alright?" Natasha hummed deciding to press play again as suddenly there popped up a message from I was way. 

Katja: You should really try to communicate this with your girlfriend before this ruins your relationship. 

Natasha couldn't believe her eyes but curiosity got the better of her and she opens the message; I had told her all about how I waned  to experience sexual things with a man but how unwilling I was to cheat on her. She quickly closed the tab again pretending like she didn't have her master plan planned out already. 

The mission was easy inflate a party, steal some hard drive and go back to the hotel. Even though you were there with your girlfriend the thoughts of trying it out with a man couldn't leave your head. Not that I was interested in having an affair of leaving Nat you just wanted her to have this with you. And the fact that out of all people Bucky had been assigned to you two didn’t make it better. I had long expected the two to had have something going on in the past but never had the courage to ask either. The mission went by quick and you soon found yourself sitting at a hotel bar celebrating our success mission.

***

"I'll have a martin" "A beer for me" The bartender looked at me with expecting eyes "A beer for me too." Sitting between the two I almost felt sandwiched even though there was still space between our bodies. Natasha slipped quietly on her martin while my bottle was still untouched by me I couldn't tear my mind away from the two assassins next to me. "You're awfully quiet Y/N" I heard the deep voice of the Winter Soldier. I opened my mouth before closing it again there were so many words in my heart but so little on my tongue. “You’re normally so filled with life”

I felt Natasha's watchful eyes on my smaller form and suddenly I felt awfully naked in my cocktail dress. "James" her voice was sweet like honey. "Do you remember the last time we were sitting here?" I could practically hear the smirk in her voice "How could I forget that night" He took another slip of his beer bottle. "Are you down for a second time with our little guest" I couldn’t believe my ears was this a lucky guess or did Nat suddenly become a mind reader. I looked down peeling away at the label of the bottle as my cheeks continued to heat up. "I see" he took another close look at me, seizing me up. "I'm down if she is" There were a few seconds of silence with two awaiting eyes in my form; if I wanted to try this now would be the time "Of course" I stated in a quiet voice as I met his lust filled gaze, he only nodded before finishing his bottle. "I'll be in my room"

***

"Strip and lay on the bed" I could hear Natasha's cold words as she went to open to open the door letting Bucky, in his blazer and tie missing, the first few buttons of his white shirt unbuttoned revealing some of his chest hair. Just as he kicked the door closed behind him Nat had him already pressed against the wall as they violently made out with each other. Her hands twisted in his white button up shirt pulling herself impossibly closer to the man. The way Natasha was still containing control of the much stronger man was definitely a turn on. (Not that I had expected it any other way)

Even though she was busy with him from the corner of her eyes I could see she watched me on very move.   She turned away from him sitting down on the cushion of armchair. "James I want you to eat her out" she pulled out a small metal tin with cigarettes in it, lighting herself one "and don't let her cum" He only nodded having seemingly submitted to the redhead without a fight.

He climbed onto my much smaller frame, his eyes scanning my naked form. There was something about the both of them still fully clothed while I was undressed which made me even wetter. He leaned down to catch my lips and my hands went to his short black hair. His tongue fought it's way inside my mouth our tongues dancing a dangerous dance as one of his rough hands went to my breast. He kissed down my neck his beard stubbles irritating my soft skin. 

His chipped lips wrap around one of my nipples and the strong fingers twisted the other. He watched in an awe how my body squirmed under his touch. "Mommy please" I whined out buckling I hips against his hard prick "No sweetie this ain't gonna work" She chuckles blowing out some smoke from her lit cigarette. "Beg Daddy not me, I can't help you little girl" I chocked out another whine as I felt his teeth tugging at my nipple. 

The way his mouth wrapped around my tender flesh made want him even more. He liked over my nipple a few more times each time discovering a new sound escaping from my mouth. Eventually he got bold enough to bit down making me cry out in pure lust. “Daddy please” I didn’t know what I was begging for but the pure title made him moan. He switched sides giving my other nipple the same treatment as his fingers brush over the other one.

He kissed his way down your stomach stopping your hips from buckling as her presses his forearm down on your lower stomach. He kissed your public bone taking in the strong smell of my cunt as he groaned. He took his time kissing and nibbling on the soft skin of my hips. My hands go to his short black hair folding with his soft hair (which somehow was even softer than Nats)

After a while he was done with the teasing having had enough and he just wanted to finally get a taste of Nat’s little girl. He took a bold lick over my cunt moaning inside of my heat as I tried to buckle my hips again but you were stopped by his cold metal arm keeping your hips down.

"Daddy please" I whined, having so much control over a sexual partner did something to him. "No more teasing please" I begged. Natasha (who had been watching closely from the corner) made her way over the the bed puffing out a load of smoke "Be a good boy James" He was seemingly torn between the dominance of having me under him begging for his mercy out still being so obedient to the black widow. It was a match made in heaven or in hell so to say. 

He continued to eat me like the last supper his tongue pressing on the pulsing nub of nerves. Two of his thick fingers pushed passed my tight hole making my eyes roll into the back of my head in pure pleasure, he bit down on my clit sending shock waves through my body. His fingers twisted and turned to to press against my G- spot. I was so close to stumbling of the edge I got a taste of heaven. 

"James stop" I heard her cold voice as he immediately pulled way sitting on his knees and  my juices dripping from the concert of his mouth.  I whined and cried ash the lost of pleasure my tears smudging down my pink cheeks. "Good boy James" She leaned down to kiss him moaning as she tasted my juices on his lips. She pulled away from him whipping the corners of his mouth with her palm. "Would you look at that you made a mess Ana" She inspected your dripping cunt further running two finger through your cunt making you let out a pathetic whimper. She tasted me letting out an extensive moan "I'm almost jealous James got to taste you bunny" 

She whispered something in Bucky's ear and he quietly nods. "Get on all fours Y/N" he rasped in your ear. You placed yourself on all fours and he positioned himself behind you and you heard the sound of this clothes being torn off. "Are you ready" I nodded, my position was beyond embarrassing ass up in the air having gabbed a pillow to bite on.

He pulled down his shorts and let Natasha touch him how she pleased. Her smaller hands wrapped around his pulsing prick I heard him groan as her hands moved up and down his length. Her movements made him impossibly hard a few droplets of pre cum already leaking.

Bucky positioned himself behind me and he slowly pushed his length in making me scream out at the stretch. He let you adjust before moving at a decent pace I took a look behind me to see Nat guiding his hips only not giving him control of his own pleasure. I lead out a few mewls of pure pleasure. "mommy" my whimpered gripping onto the pillow for dear life "need you”

She let go of his hips leaning up to my ear "Do you need your clit played with" she rubbed circles on my back. Bucky's pace was great for his pleasure but I just needed more so I nodded as more tears made it's way down my cheeks "Can't even cum without mommy's help such a dumb little girl.”

Bucky quickend his pace and so did Nat and I was nearly seeing stars "Cum for me" she announced slapping Bucky's ass as if he was nothing more that a common whore "both". It didn't need more to make both of us cum with im pulling out to paint my back in his milk. 

I flipped to my back watching as Natasha and Bucky were caught up in a passionate kiss. His kisses trailed down her neck and chest at the same time pulling her red lace panties down her perfectly shaped legs. He nibbled on her skin paying extra attention to the small scar on her hip.

Natasha laid next to me on her back as I turned to my side stroking a few of her red hair, which were stuck to her sweaty forehead. “Kiss mommy bunny”

I kissed the desperate woman our tongue intertwined. She broke away letting out an almost pornographic moan as Bucky dove in to her wet center.

Our foreheads were seemingly stuck together as were lost in, probably the hottest, make out session I ever had. The air was humid filled with the sounds of Natasha’s wetness and the indecent sounds of our desperate sounds. “Fuck James” she groaned on my lips her hands twisted in my dark blonde locks. “Make Mommy cum” He kept his pace up flickering her clit with his tongue while penetrating her with two of his fingers. With a scream she came down from her high releasing over his chin and face.

***

"Thank you" You signed laying between the older Agents "But I think I'll stay with women for now" Natasha chuckled kissing your forehead "I wouldn't have given you free either way" she joked "And I wouldn't risk talking Nat's girl"

:)

Tags:

@terrormonster55 @marvelobsessed134 @crowswolffe

[woniefull]

we can't be friends

hi guys!! this is my very first piece of writing! constructive criticism is always welcomed. please don't mind any grammatical/spelling errors. i wrote this at 2 in the morning and just wanted to do something fun. i still have a lot of room for improvement but i hope you guys enjoy!

warning: little angsty

song: we can't be friends (wait for your love) - ariana grande

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he was the sweetest boy to you when you had first met. his puppy eyes, gorgeous smile, and brown fluffy hair were what drew you in. his flirty words towards you, and only you, had you captivated in a heartbeat. 

that’s why you couldn’t believe what was unfolding in front of you right now.

“oh god please don’t start.” jake groaned as you stared at him with angry eyes. or was it hurt? he couldn’t tell. 

“i’m not starting anything! if anything you are! why are you still talking to your ex after the countless times she’s crossed the boundaries in our relationship? i’ve told you how i feel about her!" your voice croaked and you felt helpless.

you had always tried your best to not be that jealous girlfriend everyone hates. but how could you? jake was attractive and every girl tried to get at him. it didn’t help that he was oblivious to the advances the women around him would give. that’s why you would get angry, but never at him. 

“how many times do i have to tell you that she came up to me? i was just being polite by having a conversation with her”.

jake was sitting on the couch now. his hands covering his face, unaware of the tears forming in your eyes.

it always came down to this. you voicing your problem with jake entertaining other girls and him trying to reassure you.

trying.

you both were growing tired of the constant arguing. 

“jake she was pushing herself all up on you and you just stood there! can you imagine how that made me feel? watching my boyfriend have another girl's hands all over him as if she were the girlfriend?” you were hurt. it hurt. all of this hurt. you knew this wasn’t your boyfriend’s fault. he had always been a gentleman, one of the many qualities you loved about him. but his next words made you second-guess yourself.

“that’s just her character, doll. she’s always been like that from the moment i met her. this jealousy thing of yours really needs to stop, it’s not cute anymore”. jake almost immediately regretted his words as he saw your reaction. he knew he was wrong.

“you think i do this to be cute? am i joke to you?” you cried out.

you don’t remember when everything went wrong. you don’t remember the last time you felt secure in your relationship. maybe you weren’t ready for all of this. 

“no, love i’m sorry i didn’t mean that” jake said as he quickly got up and made his way towards you.

“i’m so sorry, i just had a difficult day that’s all”. he slipped his arm around your waist and used the other to wipe your tears away.

“jake”

he looked at your eyes.

no

“whatever you’re about to say please don’t” jake pleaded.

“jake i just think we aren’t ready for this. for us”. you started to sob again. 

“i think we need to let each other go. we need to grow and learn to understand ourselves before we can understand each other".

“please” jake said as he dipped his head into your neck.

you let him stay there for a while before you detached yourself from him. it was hard to because jake wouldn’t let go. he knew it would be a while before he held you again. 

“i’m sorry jake, i really am” you said with a small smile, trying your best not to completely break down again. 

“no i’m sorry, this is all my fault.”

“we both had fault in this jake, don’t blame yourself.”

you both stood there for a moment, observing each other. it was as if you guys were taking in your last moments together. 

“i’m leaving now jake”. you wasted no time in collecting your things in order to head to the front door. 

“thank you for everything, really. i know things didn’t end how we wanted them to but some of my best memories were with you. thank you jake”. 

jake just stood there, still in disbelief at how quickly things had unraveled. 

right as you were about to walk out he calls to you.

“can we still be friends?” a little hope is visible in his eyes. he hopes that you say yes so that he’s able to see you again.

“we can’t be friends”. and just like that you were gone. the only evidence of you ever being there was jake’s broken heart.

i’ll wait for your love jake thinks as he slowly walks over to the sofa and slumps down.

[bubblygumi]

Her first words.

hi again! i’m back with a second post, and as before, please excuse any errors as english is not my first language, thank you. enjoy.

˚♡ sincerely, bubbly.

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

pairing : Father! Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x deceased Reader

genre : angst, slight comfort.

CW : S/O loss, parent loss, grief and guilt. please proceed with caution if this sounds like something that would trigger you.

little note from the author : Your daughters name is Riley Y/L/N.

Simon had always had problems sleeping, even before he had his little girl. He always had nightmares that plagued his mind. Of death, of his time in the military, of his past, the possibilities were endless with everything he had gone through. Getting up at night was never an issue, it’s not like he slept anyways, not with the terrors in his mind.

His eyes shot open as he heard a familiar cry echoing through their home, a silent sigh passing by his lips as i got up from his bed to check on the little one. He entered her room, the cries getting louder as he approached the fragile baby in the crib.

He picked her up into his arms, remembering the first time he held her when she was delivered. He was terrified, holding her with those same hands that had blood stained over them, he couldn’t taint her innocence like that and resorted to wearing gloves for the first few months of caring for her.

But not now, skin to skin with his crying daughter as he gently tried to coax her to calm down. Minutes went by, and then some more without any luck. He had tried everything he could think of, bouncing her gently up and down, caressing her, giving her small kisses, checking her diaper, he couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

Simon was almost at his breaking point, the lack of sleep and his daughter’s loud cries were overwhelming, why couldn’t he do this? Simon went back to blaming himself, he’s a terrible father.

Tears stung his eyes as he prepared a bottle for Riley, her sobs and wailing in the background as he mindlessly went over the same exact procedure. He couldn’t let the tears slip, approaching her and sighing out of relief went she finally calmed down, suckling on the bottle for the milk.

“That’s my girl.” He said, a loving calm tone he always used for his daughter. The gruff voice long gone, always as soon as he entered their home.

He chuckled bitterly when Riley grimaced, “Not into the formula too much eh?” He sighed once again, this time not of relief, “Mommy’s milk was better huh? I know, i miss her too.” Gone, taken away too quickly. Simon was left alone with Riley and Y/N never had a chance of being there with them.

Y/N had always wanted children, Simon remembers the good old days where she would show him baby videos and cute baby clothes to try and give him as much baby fever as she had. It had worked of course, Simon now had a daughter he adored more than anything.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt away as he watched his daughter drink from the bottle. How could he ever be enough for her? Without Y/N, what was he supposed to do? Did Riley hate him?

The tears that stung his eyes before finally let go, one or two running down his cheeks. He pulled the bottle away from his daughters lips, gently wiping away the remains of the milk on her chin before wiping his own tears away. His baby girl would always come first.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered to her, placing a kiss on top of her soft head, she looked so much like her mother. It was like she could feel his energy, frowning on her small face that usually was filled with smiles.

She reached out, her small hands grabbing onto anything she could of her Dada. And then she said it, something that immediately washed away all of Simon’s worries and guilt, her first words.

‘Dada!’

It echoed in Simon’s mind, replaying it as he looked at her in disbelief. He couldn’t believe it, did she really say that? Her very first words at 11 months old, soon to be 12.

A smile broke out on both of their faces, mirroring each other in a clearly loving gaze. “Dada? That’s right! That’s me!” Simon exclaimed, proudly, and almost a little too loudly but Riley just giggled.

He picked at up, placing another kiss on her soft cheek as he carried her back to her crib. He gently put her down, looking at her adoringly as she fell back to sleep.

The smile never faded from his lips as he went back to his own bed, and for the first time, he soundly fell asleep. No nightmares as usual where he would wake up in cold sweat, a well deserved, sound sleep where he dreamed of all three of them being together as a happy family.

Only for the dream to end in sorrow when he woke up, bed empty, missing the mother of his child.

[uluvjay]

love your writing can i request one for auston with the prompts "you're clearly in pain! please, just me help you. and - "don't you dare lie. i can see it hurts, so show me. 💕

Auston Matthews x fem reader!

Warnings?; FLUFF talk of an injury, being clumsy, kissing, pet names, talk of a doctor,

I changed the prompt up a little so I hope you still enjoy and I apologize for any errors!

You knew you should have waited for Auston to change the light bulb like he told you to but you couldn’t take it any longer. His family was coming in a few days and he’d been out of town doing some training and the light had needed changed for weeks.

Not having the patience to wait any longer you got the ladder out and decided to do it yourself. Auston would be home this evening but you wanted it done and you did change it successfully, however wearing socks and no shoes on a ladder was where you went wrong.

Because as you made it to the sixth step up from the ground you slipped and fell backwards right onto your back. Thankfully the ladder was sturdy enough not to fall with you.

Felix came running at the sound of your body hitting the ground and laid next to you as you regained your breath.

And everything was okay at first until a few hours later when you tried to bend down and pick up the spoon you had dropped while making dinner for Auston.

When you tried to bend over and pick it up you felt a pain shoot up your spine and a sharp cry left your mouth at the feeling.

Thankfully as you stood back up you heard Felix begin to bark and heard your front door open.

“Hi bubba!” You heard your boyfriend exclaim to Felix before you heard paws and footsteps heading your way.

“Hi baby” you greeted as Auston made his way towards you in the kitchen and quickly pulled you into a hug.

“Hi mamas” he whispered in your ear and placed a kiss on your cheek.

-

You were able to hide your pain throughout dinner and cleanup but as the two of you made it into your shared bedroom and began to get ready for bed it got harder, especially as Auston began to feel up on you.

He had you in front of your floor to ceiling mirror, indulged in a heated kiss but as he pulled away to remove your shirt he caught sight of a large bruise on your back in the mirror.

“What the hell is that on your back!” He quickly questioned.

You grabbed the hem of your shirt and hastily pulled it back down over your body.

“It’s nothing!” You told him.

“Don’t even try it, I can see it hurts so show me!” He exclaimed

You sighed and stepped back a bit before pulling the shirt over your head and turning around so he could inspect your back.

“Y/n! How’d you get this?”

“Changing that light bulb in the hallway by the guest rooms” you mumbled

“I told you I would do that when I got home!” He scolded as he ran a light finger over your back.

“I did it! I just slipped coming down and fell back but I’m fine. It only hurts when I’m bending over” you told him shrugging.

“Exactly! Your clearly in pain so please just let me help you” he begged

“What are you gonna do?” You questioned.

“Just take your bra off and go lay on your stomach I’ll be back in a minute” he told you and gave you a light nudge towards your bed.

You did as he told you and laid down in the middle of the bed while you waited for him to return.

After a few minutes you heard him enter the bedroom once again and felt him lay something heavy down on the bed next to you before he walked over to the plugs by your night stand and plugged in the heating pad.

“Here lay with the heating pad and weighted blanket for a little bit, the heat will help and then in the morning we’re going to the doctors” he told you while getting everything set up for you.

“I don’t need the doctor Auston!” You laughed

“Yeah you do so shush because you’re going” he said and climbed into the bed with you.

-

Tagging @amatthews34 so she can get some Auston content

[ja-stuff]

For the last 10 years

Character: Zhongli

Warnings: (Reader was never on the receiving end.) Reader has the Countdown Disease (?), light swearing, slight redundancy of words, light mentions of bleeding

Genre: Angst, only angst (no comfort at all).

Note: Another work that might have punctuation, sentence, and typographical errors as this is not yet 'again' proofread, but I just wanna post something to update you i'm still alive and writing lol. Please enjoy! ♥

09:00

[How alone must you feel every single day.]

You tossed to your left and stretched your arms out to the side where you know your partner is supposed to be sleeping early this morning. The coldness of the empty space sends disappointment in your system, slowly accept the fact that he will never stay like how he had always been in the last 10 years of your relationship.

You never knew that you would fall in love, you despised it from when you were little. So when you grew up and were of the right age, the thing you once knew you didn’t know existed in your system, overwhelming you with different kinds of emotions which drowned you to the core and you were not even expecting that it will be from an Archon Morax, Rex Lapis himself, or Zhongli as what you… everyone has been calling him in the last 10 years. 

[A home that was supposed to make you closer]

Trying to dismiss the waves of memories from the events which happened last night, you tried to force a smile and patted your shoulder lightly to encourage yourself a little to get through the day. You got up and unsteadily made your way to the bathroom to wash, knocking over a few things from the hallway of your cold home located at one of the mountains surrounding Liyue harbor. Grunting, you safely entered the bathroom and filled the sink with water, but the familiar rush of a headache coming to you followed by a nosebleed that painted the water a pale red made you think of the only flower you first and last received from Zhongli. You were reminded of the silk flower and the way how Zhongli gave it to you under a rainbow from where your house was standing in the last 10 years came rushing to mind as if it was just yesterday when he went and stirred up your world.

Then again, thinking about Zhongli made you relive the disagreements he made before leaving. The images of him being slightly irritated with how persistent you were from last night’s argument, how you pushed yourself into his bubble as your only wish for his acceptance, voicing out and trying to make him understand your feelings and what you have been through, from how you raised your voice at him for the very first time to put yourself in authority to make him listen and stay. But last night was too messy and none of the words you spat you could recall. Hence the memory of how you looked at his back turned to silhouette as it disappeared in one of Liyue’s coldest-darkest hours is so vivid as if it is his sign to silently dismiss the fight without even trying to speak his mind about the matter, leaving your growing anxiety worse. 

But just as the house was stirred last night full of hurt emotions and words, it is now too quiet enough to question yourself whether you have been living mute, deaf, and hidden in the last 10 years.

[A clock that ticks to remind you it’s enough]

Looking at your reflection in the mirror you read the clock that only you– you alone can see…

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds)

00:00:00:08:02:55

Eight hours… Even with just the remaining hours you have, there is no Zhongli around to make you feel less lonely as you near your time to permanently leave him… To leave Liyue… To leave the world… You swallow the lump in your throat that was threatening to melt together with your tears and a heavy heart. 

“What the h–hell did I do?” you voiced out… “Was it so wrong to l-love?” 

“Was I not cut for this?” tears started to flow like a stream, “Was it so hard to receive o-one, when all I did was t-to g-ive?” trying to think of more questions, one thought got you.

“W–was I w–wrong to love an a–archon?” 

You trembled as you looked at your reflection in the mirror. Disheveled hair, a thin face, and deep and tired-looking eyes were all you have seen in front of you. In the last 10 years, this is the first time you see yourself so broken, that you do not have any idea how to keep a neat appearance in front of the Archon you loved in your final moments. 

“No– what was I–I think? He– he is the person I always love… How can I say that… I–’m sorry..”

You kneeled on the ground carefully touching it as you closed your eyes and silently whispered, “Zhongli, my love, I wish you would come home early today...” knowing well that your archon lover will probably pick up the waves of your voice just by the vibrations of the ground.

13:30

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds)

00:00:00:03:30:07

[How Baizhu and the others see you]

It reads, three hours… You slumped on the chair across from Baizhu’s seat in his office, you waited for him to finish passing on some instructions to Qiqi who was at the counter of the Bubu Pharmacy.

“What brought you here Y/n?”

“I– uh… How do I look first?” you asked, putting on your best smile in front of the man who you had been close to ever since you became Ningguang’s maiden years ago.

“Uh… well you look the same? Come on, tell me what’s the matter?” Baizhu gets to the point directly. Your bright smile could not fool him, and you just looked at his standing figure that is currently examining the new medicinal herbs brought to the pharmacy this morning. You got up and sneakily hugged his back, which startled Baizhu but regained his composure.

“If you only need to hug someone, go ask your archon for a hug! I’m busy!” 

“Why are you so cold?” you chuckled

“‘Am not! So what happened? Take a seat.” With how persistent you were, Baizhu decided to stop what he was doing and listened to you.

“First off, here! Take this.” you gave him three sealed boxes wherein a time spell was cast. “Yours is the green one, Ningguang’s got the gold, and– Zhongli gets–”

“Wait?! You’re telling me to give this to your partner?! Hell no, why should I? You live in the same house.” 

“But you know he’s not always home…”

Upon hearing your words, Baizhu’s stubbornness subsided, and watched your shoulders droop. Somehow the action you did make him feel like he is missing something that you were not telling him.

“Are you leaving Liyue harbor?” you did not answer his question and remained still in your seat as you tried to steady your breaths. “Are you finally leaving him?” 

When Baizhu asked the latter, the emotions you have been trying to hide since making your way to Bubu pharmacy started to show. Hands trembling, and tears falling, you looked at Baizhu with complete sadness in your eyes, which took Baizhu seconds to a minute before he tried to search for answers in his box forcing it open but the item won’t budge. 

“Silly… Stop struggling! You won’t be able to open it until 18:00. Ah, right! Zhongli… his– his is this white with gold lining box…” you let out a chuckle before you wiped your tears.

“I’ll miss you, Baizhu…” You took a step closer to him and opened your arms in front of him. Baizhu did not move from his seat, he was not sure whether to take it too as your very actions slightly gave him a sense of anxiety that he never knew you’d ever make him feel… Not from you, a friend he knew that shone the brightest as long as he could remember.

“You know… Y/n, this is scary… you’re scaring me. Why? You can talk to me and Ningguang… Y’know?” slowly indulging himself with the warmth of your embrace, he could feel your heartbeat. A beating he has never heard before…

“Hey you– are you okay?!” he stood up leaving you standing still, he racked his desk drawers to look for some equipment to try and hear your heart…

“Thank you, Baizhu…” you whispered as you left the pharmacy and ran as far away as you could from Bubu pharmacy.

“By the way, your archon went here last night and he–” Successfully grabbing the item he was looking for, Baizhu turned around but was only met by the scent of your shadows crowding the whole office. 

“Y/n?”

14:45

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds) 

(00:00:00:02:15:02)

Two hours… and he still hasn’t gone home. You thought it was late and you did not bother to cook yourself a meal for lunch, nor prepared a meal for Morax to eat… You sat on the newly bought gazebo outside your house to breathe Liyue’s fresh air for the last time. Smiling as you take in nature's welcome on your slowly weakening body, the warm rays of the sun touching your face as it also made your hair shine a different hue from your original hair color, the breeze of nature tickling each of your active senses, the breathtaking views of the mountains, and Liyue harbor overwhelming the extent of what your eyes can see… It’s more than that.

Yes, Liyue is more than that… As you were filled with a short amount of Joy in your alone time, you remembered the lantern rite. You slowly went inside the house and looked for the lantern you had prepared beforehand, lighting it up as you softly whispered and called “Xiao” a name that you know will come to you right away, making you meet the person you knew was close to the archon you love come with just one command.

“Y/n, you called?” the familiar voice and appearance of a boy a little taller than you appeared, his eyes fixed on the lighted lantern you were holding. 

“Hey, Xiao…” you flashed a grin, hiding the fact to him that you’re starting to grow a little weaker as your time ticks down. “Mind if I light it first?” you asked, voice as sweet as ever, melting Xiao’s cold soul. Reminding him how the last 10 years of being there to protect you on behalf of Morax’s command, this is the first time you initiated to light a lantern first, instead of being the last, and the sun is still up at that.

“I don’t but won’t it make sense? The sun is still running around Liyue, why light it this early?” Xiao questioned, “I just wanna be the first one to light it up for you this year… (When I see them, I’ll tell them you said Hi…)” you said but whispered the last sentence making Xiao squint his eyes trying to decipher words that were showing in your mouth.

“Here…” You walked past his figure and went to higher ground near the cliff at the back of your house. You closed your eyes and said your little prayers, as you slowly knelt and touched the ground once more to call for Zhongli, hoping that this time he’d come to you once you asked. As you let go of the lantern in broad daylight, your last words to give to Zhongli came out.

“My Morax, come home. I’m tired.” Once the silent words were delivered you felt a hot air surrounding you, and the ground shaking a little. “Get up, Y/n. I was being called by others again.” Xiao helped you up, and you just took his hand and touched his forehead. 

“Oh, I see! I hope I did not take too much of your time. Also, I wish for you to accept this, Xiao. I just wanted to thank you.”

“It is my duty. Part of my responsibility. It is my honor to be called by you, Y/n.” the words Xiao let out made you feel sad but you forced a laugh so he won’t suspect that something was going on with you at the moment.

“I think you should get going now. Thank you, Xiao.” He bowed to you and kept the small box you gave him, similar to the one you gave Baizhu.

“I wish to see him cry over me before I leave.”

16:50

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds) 

(00:00:00:00:15:00)

Minutes… it says fifteen minutes… You only have fifteen minutes left to stay awake and see him, to thank him, to give him your last smile, to have your last talk with him, to ask him your last question, to receive the last assurance you ever wished, your last minutes to hear the words you wanted to hear more from him, last minutes to wait for him before you puff the last air you could ever breathe out, to give him your last I love you,

… and your last kiss to give him the last goodbye. Yet there’s still no Zhongli appearing in front of you. He hadn’t come to any of your pleads. He is not with you… He was never with you in the last 10 years of your relationship.

(00:00:00:0:07:00)

You sighed as you made your way back to the gazebo and sat on the ground where it stands and listened to the distant sound that the joyous people of Liyue harbor were making as they pulled their last-minute preparations for the festival. Every second felt like torture to you, thinking to yourself about how the man you loved the most did not give you the love that you deserved and was not able to give you the assurance you needed all the years you have been together. 

Now, you’re drowning in your memories of the past welcoming the pain you’re feeling, with your senses deteriorating little by little, and your eyes falling its last tears along with your vision getting blurry enveloping you to unwelcomed darkness in each passing second that not even the bright lights coming from Liyue’s Lantern Rite Festival can make bring back your sight, ‘It was nice seeing the region you made brighter than ever, Morax...’ 

“ Morax, I–.” were your last words before you breathed your last sweet breath, your head slowly dropping on the bench, as the sound of LIyue’s people started to move near the mountain 

17:00

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds) 

(00:00:00:00:00:10)

Your time is up. Your lungs are burning as it tries to take in more air. You know that it won’t make any difference even if you ask to have your time extended to properly end things with Zhongli, but fate was never once on your side after you met him. All you ever experienced in the last 10 years was anything but not love and assurance. You believed that his heart was never with you after 1 year of being together, yet you never failed to lose hope that maybe one day, he’ll be able to see you and care for you like how you were with him. But wishing is a luxury to you when you are already with an archon who can give you that, ‘won’t it be too much to ask for a little more’ Yes, you believed it is true, but if only you were a little selfish, maybe this rare disease did not come looking for you.

Accepting the harsh reality, you thought to yourself that even at this moment, you could never bring yourself to hate Zhongli, not even once in the last 10 years have you thought of hating him even if it is too painful to love him but only one selfish thought came to you, touching the ground for the last time, you whispered in your mind. “I do not wish to meet you in my next life, Morax…” 

With your body losing its warmth, the last tear taking its last drop, and your pupils slowly dilating, comes the sound of the fireworks from Liyue harbor shooting at the skies reflecting the colorful sparkles dancing in your lifeless eyes…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aaaaaaaaah! How was it? I was tearing the whole time writing this one! Btw. Might make a Zhongli POV one. Unsure when to post as work has been keeping me lately. But I really hope you liked this one. Thank you so much for reaching up to this point, I appreciate it! Stay safe, hydrated, and take care sunshine!

Oh, and here's part 2!

Love,

Ja ♥

[l0ve-bug-m1les]

Miles Morales x Male reader

When the reader has dyslexia and has trouble with spelling certain words or just forget how to spell the most simplest words ever gets insecure about their learning disability and then falls into a depressive episode (which is just them distancing themselves from other (Miles) for weeks)

First off please let me know if i got some things wrong. I myself don’t have dyslexia, so please correct me on anything. And I hope you’re okay if you’re feeling this way. Sending love and Miles Morales your way! <33 But seriously if you need to talk I’m here, okay? I hope you enjoy!

————

Distence Distance

Miles Morales x Male!Reader

Summary: When it has once again been made apparent spelling isn’t your strong suit, your mind spirals out of your own control.

Warnings: Swearing

Your brow furrowed. Is it tom—orrow? Or tom—morrow? This shouldn’t be this hard. It’s a word. A simple word. But despite your best efforts, you can’t get it. Defeated, you lean over and quietly tap your finger Miles’ arm. He knows about your dyslexia, and helps you whenever things get a little tough. He’s never made fun of you, and has never acted like he was annoyed with you asking him how to spell things. This is quite a common occurrence, but recently, nothing seems to click. It can go from constantly spelling a word wrong, to forgetting how to spell completely. Miles tells you all the time to not worry about it, but what does he know! He doesn’t ask his boyfriend how to spell tomorrow every night!

"Hm? Oh, what’s up?” He looks at you, finishing whatever word he was writing. Your finger drags over to the roadblock on your paper as you mumble a small “Is this right?” Miles takes a look at your paper for a moment before softly shaking his head. “Ah, no, there’s only one m,” your shoulders slump, “but—uh—everything else was right!” His hands wave a little bit, trying to cheer you up. His eyes dart over you, searching for a reaction. A breath escapes your lips as you quietly thank him.

———

A few weeks later, Miles is proofreading your science paper. He’s got a red pen, and is occasionally writing his thoughts or correcting something. That’s to be expected, essays are about trial and error so of course it’s not gonna be perfect on the first try. What you don’t expect, is to find the pages covered with spelling corrections. You can’t even keep up with how many there are on the first page. As you look through, all you can see is what you got wrong. “Replace the i with an e”, “Erosion has one r”, “Con-VEC-tion, there’s a c”, “Don’t forget the—“. You quietly stop reading and get up to grab your things. Your thoughts are cloudy, even as Miles pulls you into a warm embrace to hopefully soothe your anguish. It doesn’t help.

“I gotta go,” you push away, “see you tomorrow..” Your feet lazily carry you out of his dorm room. Miles doesn’t protest. He knows sometimes being practically slapped with how much your disability affects you, doesn’t do you well. So he lets you go, knowing he’d see you tomorrow.

He couldn’t be anymore wrong.

———

Well he wasn’t entirely wrong. He did see you, but you had no intention to see him. Every glance he threw your way went unnoticed. Every time he tried to speak, your headphones went in. He saw your smile wasn’t there, and your usual glow was gone. All of these things worried Miles but he didn’t know what to do. His thoughts were focused around you for the whole day, and how he could help. In the end, he decided it’d be best if he just texted you. Maybe you just didn’t want to speak in person because of yesterday.

Yeah, that’s it. He’ll text you, comfort you, come over to your dorm, and cuddle and comfort you some more. A foolproof plan! Now all that’s left is to get through today.

———

You don’t respond to the first text.

You don’t respond to the second text.

You don’t respond to the third text.

You don’t read any of them. And he knows your read receipts are on.

Miles is frantic now. Where could you have gone? He knows you’d tell him if you were gonna be busy, and he knows he’d catch any signs of you thinking about….No. He wouldn’t let himself think about it. Maybe you just needed some space. It’s normal for a relationship, especially one as new as this. He decided to give it a day or two.

You’d come around eventually.

———

You didn’t come around.

It had been two weeks and Miles still hasn’t heard from you. You were still coming to school, but you arrived before everyone else, and somehow managed to get out before everyone left. If he tried to call you, it’d cut off immediately. If he texted you, it would stay on delivered—read if he was lucky—and if he tried to get into your room, you wouldn’t open the door. Even if your roommate was there, he’d always say: “Oh, [name]? Yeah he’s not here. Sorry.” Then the door would shut. Every day Miles tried. And every day Miles failed.

He’d spend his nights racking his brain for any clue, and reason for you to go a-wall like this. It’s not like you. Whenever something’s troubling you, he’d be the first to hear about it. For the millionth time, he tries to call your phone. And for the millionth time, you pick up. Just like he thought—

Wait what.

Miles sits up and hears quiet sobs on the other end. “H-hello? [Name]? Please answer me.” After a quiet moment you speak up. “Mhm?” Your voice is weak on the other end, but nonetheless, it’s your voice. Miles jumps out of his bed, already putting on a jacket and shoes. “Are you still in the dorms? Where are you?” He opens the window, waving to Ganke who’s woken up. “Please, love.”

“The park. The one we always go to.” Your voice is hoarse and hiccups are breaking through. “Alright. I’ll be there. Wait for me, okay?” He hops out the window and swings through the streets, keeping you on the line. At this point in time, Miles is a great swinger and has almost perfected the art. But tonight, he’s going faster than he’s ever gone before. Faster than his common sense would normally let him go. Even when making an escape, he’s careful to watch his speed just in case. Not tonight though. This is you. He’d risk everything for you.

In a matter of minutes, he’s at the park already looking for you. “[Name]? I’m here,” his eyes dart in every direction, “where exactly are you?” He jogs over to a nearby tree, catching a glimpse of a light from a phone screen. You’re silent for a few more moments as you can tell he’s the cause of those footsteps coming in your direction. So you just keep scrolling on your phone. Miles catches up to you, and before a word can be said, he’s fallen to the ground and pulled you into a hug. Possibly the tightest he’s ever hugged someone. And that’s the crack that sends the dam crumbling.

You break down and sob into his shoulder, clawing the fabric at his sides. The world no longer exists and it’s just you and him. You and the person who cares about you. You and the person who came for you. Miles’ grip tightens around your shoulders as stray tears escape his own eyes. “What happened? Why were you gone for so long?” He asks.

“I was tired of being stupid,” you manage to get out, “tired of being a burden.”

“A burden?!” Miles pulls away and cups your cheeks. “Now who told you that?”

“Don’t you understand, Miles?!” You shout. “I’m probably the dumbest person on this planet!!” He starts to object but you cut him off, “And don’t give me that “Oh but it makes you, you!” Bullshit.” You stand up and begin to pace around. “You can’t possibly wanna deal with me!” Your breath quickens and tears are still falling. “Couldn’t-couldn’t possibly wanna actually spend your life dealing with some who can’t spell for shit. Who’s always asking if he spelled—fucking i don’t know—Wednesday right.” You finally stop and stand in one place, hugging yourself tight. “I fucking hate it.”

Miles makes his way to you and pulls you into another hug. He doesn’t try to convince you otherwise because this isn’t the time. It’s time for you to let it all out, and for him to listen for as long as you need him to. He’s got you back and that’s all he needed. And right now you don’t know, but you needed him just as much if not more.

You two stay in the park and talk for what feels like hours. After two weeks of radio silence you’ve got a lot to say, and best believe your boyfriend is gonna take note of all of it.

🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸

A/n: OMG HOLY SHIT WHY DID THIS TAKE SO LONG OMG. @babyqueen17 HERE YOU GO IT’S DONE!!!

[fag4dykestobin]

yesterday, i wrote a little snippet of a steve coming out scene that had been living in my head for a bit, and i thought that that was it. and then i kept writing little snippets until this was nearly 3k words long <3 so. enjoy!!

-

Steve looks up at the popcorn ceiling, heart beating, beating, beating, nearly out of… his… chest. Steve doesn’t look at Robin, but… he… knows that Robin is looking at… her?

“Feel like we should be in the bathroom for this,” Steve croaks. Robin huffs out a laugh.

“We can move in there, if you want. My parent’s probably won’t need to use it, they’re in bed already.”

Steve shakes… her…? his. His(/her?) head. “No. I feel better in here.”

“Okay.” And then it’s quiet, between them, and it’s up to Steve to fill that silence. Awesome. Steve can do that. Well, Steve could do that, usually, but unfortunately there is something in Steve’s throat that is blocking everything and anything from coming out of it. Maybe Robin will just let him(/her?) sit here in silence forever, until they both fall asleep, and then when they wake up in the morning they can go along with their lives like there’s nothing building up in Steve’s soul, clawing and raging and desperate to come out.

Robin shifts, so that their feet, propped on the wall in front of them, are touching. It’s enough to get Steve going.

“You know when we were in the Russian base, and you said the thing about your life being one big error?”

Robin made a noise of affirmation.

“Were you talking about, like, being gay?”

Robin sits with the question for a few moments. “... Mostly,” is the answer she decides to go with. Steve waits for her to elaborate.

“I guess it was like, well. Some of it had to do with how we ended up in the Russian base, right? It didn’t feel real. Or like it was supposed to happen. But it also felt like just one more thing in my life that went wrong, and I kinda connect all the bad things that happen to me with me being a lesbian.” There’s a beat of silence. “Which I know isn’t really good. But I’ve been doing it for a while, so it’s hard to stop.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you feel like that? About being, um, half-gay?” The term they’ve landed on for Steve’s sexuality is kind of ridiculous, but neither of them could think of anything better for it. And it’s not like they really refer to it by name outside of hushed and rare conversations like this one. 

“I guess?” Steve thinks on it a little. “Not really. Not like you, at least. It’s, like…” Steve lets himself(/herself?) brush against the problem in his(/her?) brain. Think about it for more than a fleeting moment.

Terror envelopes him(/her?)(cut that shit out pick one and stick to it). Steve tries to think through it, but it’s kind of hard to breathe.

“It’s more about, um. I don’t know. I… It feels stupid.” It feels wrong. It feels criminal.

“I won’t think you’re stupid,” Robin says, so earnestly, like she believes it. Oh, that’s horrible to think about her. Steve screws his eyes shut. Steve screws her eyes shut.

Pick one. (pick he.) And stick to it.

“Sometimes I… mmm. Sometimes I… Robin, if you—” Steve cuts himself off. This feels evil, what he’s about to say. Maybe more evil than what he is. “If I what?” Robin sounds concerned. Like, worried concerned. It makes Steve want to stop everything and wrap her up in a big hug and never talk about this again. Besides, what was Steve even going to say? Robin, if you hate me after this… what? What does he want her to do? Robin, if you hate me after what I say, please don’t.

If Robin hated Steve for this, he might just die.

“Steve? Are you okay?” Robin takes her legs down from the wall and sits up, leans over Steve, trying to get a good look at his face. Steve covers his eyes with his hands.

“I don’t know. I don’t— eugh.” Steve gulps in a big breath, “Robin, if you— hate me, um—”

“No! No no no no no! No! Steve, look at me! Right now!” Steve wants to, but that might make him actually cry. Steve digs her palms into her eyes. No. His palms, his eyes.

God.

“Steve, Evie, please. Please.” The nickname makes Steve’s eyes water. He swipes at them to make them go away, but they keep flowing. Okay, this is going a bit disastrously. The most important thing to do right now is keep his eyes closed and not look at Robin, or else he might shatter into a million little pieces.

“No, I— let me just— I don’t want you to—”

“I won’t hate you, ever. For anything. Are you okay?” Robin sounds miserably anxious. You can’t promise that, Steve wants to bite out. He swallows it. Steve has to trust Robin, because if she can’t, maybe she truly isn’t meant to be like this. Maybe Robin won’t hate him, maybe Robin will help him fix it.

“Sometimes I think about being a girl.”

The words sit heavy between them. Steve kind of wants to throw up about it.

���... Okay.” Robin says. She sounds a little breathless. Steve tries to imagine the look on her face, but can’t imagine it through the fuzz of terror. And like hell will he open his eyes.

“... Okay?” Steve croaks, after Robin fails to elaborate.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” She still has that breathless note in her voice, but it’s more like an aftermath-of-anxiety breathlessness than still-actively-anxious breathlessness.

Steve worries that he’s(.../she’s?) downplayed the problem here. Steve swallows, mouth dry, throat dry.

“No, I, I don’t just think about it, I like thinking about it. I like it when, um, the kids make fun of me by calling me, a, a mom, and I like when you or Max or El paints my nails, and I, I think about stealing your clothes sometimes and it makes me want to kill myself but I can’t, I can’t stop, I…” Steve is now hyperventilating. 

Robin tackles Steve, and Steve’s horrible, traitorous mind wonders if she’ll wrap her hands around his(/her?) throat and kill her(/him?) rather than let him(her?) leave this room.

Steve opens her(/his?) mouth to, who knows, tell her that it’s okay? That he(/she?) understands? That she(/he?) loves her? But nothing comes out, and after a second, Steve realizes that it’s a hug. Obviously. And then Steve starts sobbing.

It takes a few minutes for Steve to stop losing… his? her? God, the thought of either makes Steve want to puke. It takes a few minutes for Steve to stop losing Steve’s mind. And Robin strokes Steve’s hair the whole time, and holds Steve the whole time, and whispers that it’s okay and that she loves Steve, the whole time. It kind of prolongs the sobbing, in a way, because Steve just can’t believe it. But Steve does eventually calm down.

“Steve,” Robin whispers.

Steve sniffles and swallows thickly. “Yeah?”

“It’s fine. You’re fine.”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Well,” says Robin, and then she pauses, like she’s thinking. Steve lets her. There’s a headache brewing in Steve’s temple, and the silence is nice, in a way.

“Well,” Robin starts up again. “I don’t think you’re weird, or messed up, and I definitely don’t hate you. We’ve seen bad things and bad people. And you’re not bad.”

“Well, I… if I’m not bad, or weird, for this, I don’t know what I am.” Steve can hardly believe how well Robin is taking this. It really shouldn’t surprise Steve at all, because Robin is so, so good, but this is something that Steve hates, and they’re usually a united front on that, when it really matters.

So… maybe Robin is right.

Robin climbs off of Steve, lays down next to Steve again. But instead of propping her legs up on the wall, like Steve for some goddamn reason is still doing, she curls next to Steve, facing Steve. Looking at Steve. Still holding Steve’s hands.

“We’ll figure it out.” She squeezes. Steve squeezes right back, and keeps the grip tight.

“Okay.”

They sit in silence, and Steve just… breathes. Tries to will the headache away; not happening, ugh. Drops the legs from the wall. Steve plays with Robin’s fingers, not even trying to process what had happened yet. That can wait til later.

After a few minutes, Robin speaks up again. “Are you okay with questions? If not, that’s fine.” And Steve knows she means it. She will totally drop it for the night and let them settle down and watch a movie or three. But Steve doesn’t really want that right now. Steve wants to stay in this space where, at least for now, what Steve is feeling is fine, and alright. Steve’s never had that before, for this.

“Yeah,” Steve says. “They’re okay.” Maybe they can do the figuring out thing right now. Maybe all of Steve’s problems will be solved tonight. Wouldn’t that be a relief? Robin pulls her hands away, and Steve hears the rasping of her shirt material being rubbed together between her fingers.

“So… do you want to be a girl?” The question doesn’t sound harsh leaving Robin’s mouth, but the words are heavy. It makes alarm bells ring in Steve’s head, forbidden question! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! Years of routine repression make it hard for Steve to even consider the question, but Steve tries. Slowly and agonizingly, Steve thinks about it. It genuinely takes a few minutes, but Robin can clearly sense that Steve is thinking about it, so she doesn’t interrupt. Steve loves her so much.

“Kinda,” Steve whispers. “It’s… I don’t know. Really. It’s stupid.”

“Nuh-uh. No stupid stuff right now. Just say how you feel.”

“I kinda wanna be half-girl. Like how I’m half-gay.” It feels stupid. It feels evil. It feels way too indulgent. Even in a perfect world, it’s one or the other. Steve can’t, like, hog them both. They cancel each other out. Right?

“Uh-huh?” Robin is prompting Steve to go on. Oh God.

“Um. Like. I still… like the guy parts of me, you know? I still like being a guy.” That feels really important to emphasize. Steve feels kind of insane, talking like this, actually getting Steve’s thoughts out into the real world. But Robin is still listening, no judgment. It kind of makes Steve want to cry again, but that would make the headache worse so, no thanks. “But I… I like the girl parts, too. I like when you call me Evie, but I don’t want you to stop calling me Steve.”

Steve can feel Robin shift, like she’s nodding. “Okay,” she says again.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. You can… you can be a half-girl, half-guy.” And it sounds simple and a little obscene, when she says it. Maybe not obscene. Maybe more like tantalizing.

“I don’t know,” Steve whispers. “Is that, like… allowed?”

Steve finally turns to look at Robin. Her eyes are big and full of thought. It feels stupid, thinking like that, but there’s nothing else to describe it. Steve can see the thoughts dancing around in her pupils and irises and whatever else is in an eye. It’s so beautiful. Steve loves her so much.

“... I think that you can do whatever you want,” Robin whispers back. “And be whatever you want.”

Steve’s face crumples, just a little bit. Not enough that it means tears, but enough to bring the idea to mind. Steve pinches Steve’s nose. “It can’t be that simple, though.”

Robin tilts her head in a way that can only be described as birdlike. She hates when people compare her to birds, just because of her name, but it fits right now, in the secrecy of Steve’s brain. She looks serious and intent. “Why not?”

“Nobody has ever done this before. I think.”

“Nobody that we know of. We live in Hawkins, Steve, we know like, 500 people. There are probably people in New York, or Chicago, or whatever, that feel exactly like you.”

Steve can’t reconcile with that. It feels so lonely, being like this. It feels inherently lonely.

“And even if you are the only one in the world that feels like this… Well, that’s fine! You can be whoever you want! Especially around me.” Robin grabs Steve’s hands in her own. Her hands are always so cold. Steve loves to hold them and feel them warm up bit by bit. It’s grounding, especially right now.

“I don’t want you to hide yourself. Not from me. I hid for so long, around everyone else, and it was killing me.” Robin’s eyes bore into Steve’s. “And I didn’t know it was killing me, but looking back, it’s like, wow, I was going to die.” Her voice cracks, just a little bit, and Steve makes an involuntary noise. Holds her hands just a little tighter. The warmth is already equalizing between them. “And, I don’t know. I don’t want you to get there. Or, if… you’re there already, I don’t want you getting any further.”

Sometimes it astounds Steve, just how much Robin gets things. This isn’t one of those times, though. It feels deeply right, and deeply sad.

“Alright,” Steve says.

“You won’t hide this from me? After this?”

A shake of the head. “No.” And it sounds so easy, promising this. Maybe it can be easy. Steve hopes it will be easy.

“I love you,” Robin says, and she pulls Steve into a hug. Steve melts into it. Robin gives very bony and kinda twitchy hugs, minute movements every few seconds, and Steve loves them. Robin, a while ago, maybe a couple months after Starcourt, had expressed anxiety about her hugs being ‘godawful uncomfortable,’ her words, but Steve had denied that fiercely. Her hugs were God’s gift to mankind, and if everyone else hated it, fine. More for Steve.

“I love you too,” Steve says into her chest.

They lapse into silence again. Steve thinks about asking for some water, but that would mean one or both of them leaving this room, and all possible configurations seem worse than the lack of water, right now. Steve presses closer into Robin.

“Another question.”

“Yeah?”

“So, you like Steve and Evie, and you’re a girl and a guy. Do you like he and she?”

There’s the dreaded question. Steve can’t hold back a groan. “I don’t know,” Steve says into her chest. “I’ve kinda, thought about it a bit, but… both of them feel weird, by themselves. I guess I like both, but only when they’re next to each other. I can’t really decide on one.”

Robin hums in consideration. “I mean, we’re making all this up as we go. If they don’t feel right by themselves, then why do they have to be by themselves?”

Steve thinks about it. “It feels like they’re supposed to cancel each other out,” Steve says, voicing a thought from earlier.

“They clearly don’t, at least in your case.” Robin presses her cheek to the top of Steve’s head, flattening the hair there. “Don’t think about how things should be. Think about what you want.”

What Steve wants. Okay.

He thinks about he. She thinks about she. And how, apart, they really only feel like half of himself, but together, they feel like they tell the whole story and show the whole picture.

Steve can’t help but think about those optical illusions Dustin had shown her a while back. The one with the two faces. If you concentrated, you see whichever one you wanted at will. And they seemed so opposed, yet so intertwined, and you couldn’t have one face without the other. Maybe he’s an optical illusion. It’s better than being evil.

“Okay. Yeah. Both are good.” Steve can feel Robin smile into her hair.

“Do you want me to use them both?”

Steve feels a flash of panic. “Um— augh. Not… not around other people, um, but—”

Robin squeezes him closer. “Oh, God, obviously!” she says, and Steve is so grateful that they’re on the same page, like, 90% of the time, and that this falls into that 90%. “I can sneak them into conversations between us. Pronouns don’t really pop up in conversations between two people, but maybe if we got a cat or a goldfish or a turtle I could talk to it about you in front of you. Or is that weird? Hm. It might be weird.”

Steve can’t help the smile dawning on her face. Maybe everything will be okay. “It’s kinda weird. But we should do it anyway.”

Robin laughs, and Steve still has his face buried in her chest, so he can feel it. “Yeah,” she says fondly. “I guess that hasn’t stopped us before.”