future-crab · 9 months ago
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I’m such a person who doesn’t care about blood relations that any time a storyline focuses on a character grappling with the realization that one of their relatives was evil and worrying that they’ll go down the same path it SUPER doesn’t resonate.
“The sins of the father will be passed down to his children” Skill issue. If I’ve got a problem with your shitty dad, I’m taking it up with your shitty dad.
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misterbitches · 10 days ago
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I have mixed feelings about the episode!
If I hadn’t have gone online I would have been more of a blank slate. It’s good to know my criticisms are affirmed by others but it doesn’t mean this show is weak because even with the faults this episode was still entertaining at the very least. I feel crazy! Like some of my issues with the social commentary so far are dealt with—not remediated per se but addressed—or tended to.
The whole marriage thing isn’t a bad scenario typical of a BL imo because it makes sense. Patriarchy has everything to do with the hoarding of wealth. You have to make sure a woman has limited options for offspring to preserve a familial/blood line. Marriage is a business practice (it isn’t final or static but marriage and love are not interchangeable and “love” is a very specific goal that is hard to meet particularly if you are poor) and even if Rosé doesn’t want it, that’s how you secure capital…via legacy and literal financial bonds (presented as familial).
Rosé isn’t a good person. As much as Save is a bitch and Hope is…whatever he is (and agree with the user that said they should have kissed there!) the show is telling us over and over that THESE PEOPLE ARE POOR GUYS. THEY HAVE NO MONEY. I don’t know if the audience understands what that means fully. That means that Tattoo’s actions are not the same as Arun’s or even Joke’s; Jack’s poor decisions aren’t the same as Joke’s; Save is being absolutely insane and fucking ridiculous and wow I hate him but even his decision is not the same. You see how much hospital bills are, not having insurance, INSURANCE LITERALLY BEING TIED TO YOUR JOB AND THE NUCLEAR FAMILY. Things these people do not have, nor should not have to have, and the pains you go through to do everything right so the state says and you still get fucked.
That’s why the whole ~dOn’T sTEaL~ would piss me the fuck off! Jenny’s character makes complete sense! I know this is an easy way for us to express this idea of never being able to “get out” but poverty isn’t actually a cycle. Poverty is man made, it is not real. A cycle suggest something inevitable where an underclass would always have to exist, some sociogenetic defect that you just can’t beat and the cure (money) is just too hard to find (as in made up but never freely given). What makes that cycle relevant? Capitalism. This term has bred such reification i swear. It makes it seem like this is something they can GET OUT OF and BREAK on their own volition (with no direct action against the capitalist class/elites like you know…robbing them)
To be wealthy is to inhibit a class position, a social category, in which your livelihood depends on the subjugation of others. It’s obvious that Boss has limited money—and that dwindles—he relies on his boss. He is a manager, an inbetween, a boss but not The Boss. He is a cop essentially (cops have more autonomy tbh) to literally protect private property and collect and give to his bosses. They’re also all landlords and deserve to die.
Anyway there is no cycle as a real tangible thing one can take control of. There are people who choose their comfort and life over others and exploit to maintain, retain, and gain. ANY type of wealth hoarding is immoral. Richness is immoral.
Every single one of these people who suffer are in this position because of rich people. The monopoly was literal and exaggerated metaphor but rich people HATE and i mean HATE they LOATHE they resent disdain the poor. They hate you. They hate me and I’m not even poor! It is not a (referent-less) cycle! These are deliberate choices being made by others to make sure ppl stay poor—women, children queer ppl, darker ppl, the disabled…
If we focused less on the actions of those who have had to work in service of the pillagers and more on the pillagers and why the FUCK these people do this and get to do it, maybe Jack’s choices would make sense. Yes they are frustrating but I don’t necessarily think this is bad writing considering that Jack’s life could be made a living hell if he “got another job” which…ok but where? Who will hire him? How quickly will he make that money? With what skills when he has one very good one that could be used AND this money could be made immediately?
Are these particular choices stupid or do they exist in a broader story that is unfolding? Obviously this is a tv show beyond bl bc this episode was like completely story related and I enjoyed that. There was def some stuff where i was like wow this seems a bit rushed and it does seem like filler but it also technically isn’t…? If I’m thinking beyond what I would like to see with romance. If I think of it as more of s general show that is openly queer but that’s just the life of the show…then was this an outlier or does it fit? Even if it doesn’t I still get to understand more of what they think abt the world…? Idk i liked this episode i go back and forth! But it was a good way to spend my hour.
Also rose’s plan is fucking disgusting neoliberal drivel and insulting lmao when joke threw that all i could think of was bush and that shoe
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cinerins · 15 days ago
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In Another Time - Star Wars AU
A brief overview of my worldbuilding and relevant character notes for a setting combining parts of the Legends and Disney canon, with emphasis on the former.
I'm considering to write a few time-travel scenarios in this AU, the primary one being:
The twins end up in the middle of the Clone Wars, accidentally plucking an unlikely ally out of time along with them, but from 30 years in the opposite direction. When Jaster Mereel set foot on Korda Six that day, he'd been certain the job would be easy. What in the world is a Force Nexus, anyway?
Yeah, so, not only are Luke and Leia absolutely lost, but the one guy thrown at them has even less of a clue (though it did subsequently save his life)
Check out some of my general thoughts below 👇 (warning: it gets long)
Index
• General Info • The Force • Jedi Order — Structural Changes — Relevant Members — Affiliated Characters • Clones — Coruscant Guard — Deserters • Mandalore — New Mandalorians — Death Watch — True Mandalorians — Nite Owls — Red Blades — Journeyman Protectors — Old Mandalorians • Darksiders • Dathomir • Tusken (Ghorfa)
General Info
I grew up with the franchise and love many aspects of it, but honestly can't keep track of everything going on in there, especially the later additions. Majority is based on my understanding of the old movies, parts of TCW, Bounty Hunter, the 2003 Clone Wars mini-series (which I adore) and pieces of Legacy I've picked up over the years.
Main premise: Less than three years after Endor, Luke and Leia get sucked into the past while investigating Korda Six and accidentally save the life of none other than Mand'alor Jaster Mereel. Unfortunately, it's not his correct time either, so the three of them have to figure out their way through the Clone Wars, in a galaxy both so familiar and yet foreign.
The Force
For the sake of simplicity, I'll leave it relatively vague in its exact machinations and the way the characters interpret it depends on their individual beliefs.
Honestly, I still have no idea what the deal with the sides is, exactly. And I'm almost too afraid to ask at this point.
The way I've chosen to interpret the "dark side" is that it's inherently unnatural - a corruption. In my mind, I see it like a loophole that's easy to exploit, but comes with a certain cost. It's backwards to the way the Force/universe works and to "restore balance" would mean getting rid of this corruption. Jedi use the Force by reaching out and connecting to it, allowing it to guide them, while a Sith takes control of it, bends it to their will.
Somewhat similar to the way each handle kyber crystals - Jedi bond with their crystals, but Sith simply "bleed" them.
The biggest point for me would be that "falling" is a conscious choice you have to make and continue to make yourself.
On a side note: I don't like the idea of eye color suddenly changing to yellow/red - kind of an obvious tell, if you're trying to hide your status as a darksider. (Not to mention the whole Blue Eyes = Good Guys thing that's uhhh. Yeah.) In Palp's case, it's quite deliberately his Sith Lightning disfiguring and partially blinding him.
Jedi Order
Following the Ruusan Reformation, there was a push to train initiates from a young age* and keep familial ties minimal, as a means to prevent any Jedi from holding strong attachments or falling for Sith ideology. Although rare, some exceptions are made when necessary. Official marriages were no longer permitted, as every Jedi was expected to fully commit themselves to the Force and so could not promise commitment to a single person. They could love and have children, but it was always expected to put their love for and duty to the galaxy at large in front of any such ties.
If someone can't follow that idea, they're free to leave the Order, but will still always be welcomed as a friend. (Which was the case for Dooku, before he outed himself as Evil.)
Jedi wouldn't really place the same kind of importance romantic and familial relationships have in most cultures over others, if they really believe in their teachings. I think, to be a Jedi means understanding that your partner or mother can't be more important than, say, your neighbor or a random stranger on the street. You kind of have an equal duty to all of them. For children raised in the Order as babies, I can see them never truly grasping the concept of a traditional family and likely comparing the bond between a parent and child to that of a Padawan and Master.
For example, I like to believe Ashla and Vaash Ti are Shaak Ti's children and that it's fairly common for Jedi to add their force-sensitive offspring to the crèche. They're probably made aware of their heritage, but I can imagine it would be like learning about a distant cousin - just a little "fun fact" in their life. For the parents, they might feel some pride in seeing them do well, but other than that, they wouldn't view them any differently from the other children.
It's easy to see how this attitude could be perceived as "cold" or "un-feeling" by other people, but I'd argue it's the opposite - Jedi simply don't really draw a line in the amount of love they have for different people or even the world itself. (At least ideally, can't guarantee it works for everyone.)
*young age implies newborns to 6 years or equivalent, which I think is still a very impressionable range and could explain differences in accents and cultural nods.
Involvement with the GAR came to be, due to the clone army technically belonging to the Order. So, the two major problems were: 1. To amass such a military body is against the Ruusan Reformation and could be considered an act of war. Hence, ownership needed to be transferred to the Republic. 2. Knowing the Republic doesn't view clones as people, Jedi needed to step in and ensure they don't suffer any more than they already have to. The Jedi don't really want any of this to happen and are trying to keep a bunch of people from killing each other with their hands tied.
(not much of a change and more just me tapping a sign)
Structural notes:
Masters count as Generals in the GAR
Knights count as Commanders
Padawans count as Captains, but are usually not meant to get directly involved (if their Masters can help it)
Every eligible Jedi Guardian is assigned their own clone regiment or brigade
With few exceptions, Jedi Consulars and Sentinels are exempted, but expected to aid in the war effort
Due to the war, young Padawans often temporarily train under other Guardians - mostly if a mission threatens to interfere with their studies or well-being
Initiate Trials are (currently) taken at 13 or equivalent
Initiates don't receive true lightsabers until after becoming a Padawan - It can take anywhere from months to years for them to be ready
The pilgrimage to find their crystal(s) is undertaken with the guidance of their Master
Jedi may "outgrow" their kyber crystals due to changes in their character or life and search for new ones themselves
I want to clarify that the Order is only one of many ways Force adepts around the galaxy practice their beliefs and skills. Being a Jedi of the Order is a full-time commitment, which can be quit at any time, if one chooses to dedicate themselves to a different path - such as family or politics. You don't have to stop serving the Force in your own way, or using it, you just shouldn't misuse it.
Some character notes & changes:
Yoda
Has been living hidden on Dagobah for centuries, but occasionally returns to the temple, when the Force calls for it
Was once the Head Master of the Order in his youth, takes up the title again during the Clone Wars
He's kind of weird, cryptic, and likes to mess with people, while also being the most legendary Jedi alive, so others have to respect him
He recognizes the Republic is falling and often voices these concerns, though in a mostly unhelpful manner
May trust in the Force to handle everything a little too much
Yaddle
Shadow Master of the Order - This may be a piece of popular fanon I've absorbed at some point, but I do think it's perfect
More of a calculating, quiet observer, yet fierce and ruthless when she needs to be
Has much experience dealing with Sith artefacts and darksiders
Didn't believe the Sith were ever truly gone
Plo Koon
(chronologically) practically ancient, but only became a Jedi in the past few centuries
Had already mastered the Force, but wished to follow the Order, so an exception was made
Only member allowed to (officially*) wield Force Lightning, the technique otherwise forbidden (*unofficially: Shadows)
Thanks to his long life-span, he's studied and followed many different Force-philosophies throughout the times
Doesn't always agree with the Council, but doesn't outright deny them either
Obi-Wan
Given his history, he has some concerns regarding the decisions of the Council, yet tries to remain fairly orthodox
Him and Feemor are good Padawan-brothers and occasionally work together
His padawanship wasn't quite as rocky because of that, though it made Qui-Gon's death hit harder
Really does take on Ahsoka as his new Padawan
On Tattooine, he kept in touch with the Lars farm and Beru often sent supplies. Luke would learn much from him, but remain unaware of his powers
Ahsoka
Don't really have much I'd change for her, but will add that I think her lightsabers should be yellow
Became a Padawan a year before the Clone Wars, a few months after Anakin's knighted
Being under Obi-Wan's tutelage makes her look to Anakin as a fun (if reckless) Padawan-brother
Plo Koon and Anakin will usually act as her temporary Guardians (she gets to co-captain with Rex)
Anakin
His character is a mix of both Clone Wars series
Was knighted much earlier than intended at barely 19, on the behest of Palpatine, after facing off against Ventress a year before the Clone Wars
Let the idea of being The Chosen One get to his head in some of the worst ways possible
Enter the War and he can't simply quit the Order and leave the galaxy hanging, Padme says as much
And he totally eats bugs as field rations
Feemor
Former Knight, later Jedi Investigator
More pragmatic, grounded, and direct compared to Obi-Wan
Handled a number of Rim worlds, but focused more on the Core after taking on a "Padawan" (in secret) (if you thought he'd be an outlier in the Disaster Lineage, think again!!!)
Mostly deals with the underbelly of Coruscant and is familiar with the Guard
Affiliated:
Kilindi
Yes, THAT Kilindi Matako, because years ago I once saw art of her as a kickass Jedi and never forgot. And I love her (that said, if anyone here knows of that, please tell me where)
Was saved a year prior to the Orsis massacre by Feemor, who recognized her latent Force-sensitivity and after learning of her background, offered to train her in secret
Initially merely aiming to develop her skills, she began taking genuine interest in Jedi philosophy, the more she learned of the Force
Additionally trained by the Fallanassi, she became adept in Force Immersion and illusions
Operates independently from the Jedi Order, but often works with Feemor
Luke
He may be a Jedi, but isn't really part of the Order (acts independently)
I can't stress enough how weird this guy would be to any other Jedi
Following the fall of the empire, he went on a 3 year "pilgrimage" seeking to better understand the Force and his role as a Jedi
Spent much time learning anything about the Order and other Force-religions he could find
Found particular interest in the ancient "Way" and calls himself a "Wayseeker" (by coincidence)
Leia
Although having no desire to follow their traditions, she's a definitive ally of the Order
Luke still tries training her in the Force and with sabers
After the death of the emperor, she chose to dedicate her time helping to build up a new, better Republic
She never married Han Solo, having more of an On-and-Off relationship due to her convictions and his flighty nature
More than anything, she seeks to rid the galaxy of corruption and help those in need
Update: We've decided to make Aunt Beru Anakin's step-sibling for this setting, instead of Owen. Meaning Shmi Skywalker married Cliegg Whitesun.
Clones
-> Clones Overview -> GAR Structure Jedi & Clones
Since the series ended up being a little wishy-washy about their ages, I thought I'd clarify for this AU.
As the Kaminoans began production sometime ca. 12 years before their discovery, it would place the eldest clones around 24 (developmentally) during Geonosis. The point is that they're all insanely young when they're shipped out and I can imagine with rising demand, there's gradually more pressure to send them out as early as they can afford. In this setting, it means by the second year of war, there would be active troopers as young as 16—to put into perspective just how "shiny" some of these guys are.
Decommissionings did occur—much more so before the Jedi's arrival—but mainly within the first years of development, or if a trooper was deemed "unsalvageable" in the field. There was a lot of reprioritizing and wrestling of opinions involved, but eventually the Kaminoans could be convinced to let certain things slide if the benefits outweighed the cost. Reconditioning and termination are more of a last resort, but some "defective" clones may be kept around for study. They're making soldiers, so they don't need exact physical copies of Fett, they just have to work—any other discrepancies are more a case of pride than profit.
After Geonosis, the first few months of the war were comparably "messy" to the later organizational structure of the GAR. This adjustment period relied heavily on the trained ARC troopers to take charge and lead military operations alongside Navy officers.
Some time after the first battle of Kamino, Alpha-17 and a number of other Alpha-class ARCs were selected as instructors for the new ARC training program. Commanders—as well as standard clone troopers who had shown potential, such as Rex—received additional training for up to three months. It promoted individuality and independence through difficult battlefield scenarios, resulting in increased creativity and resourcefulness.
Coruscant Guard
There's a slight difference between the Guard and shock troopers deployed through Homeworld Security. The former is focused as a military police on Coruscant, with duties that cover matters regarding the Senate, the war effort, high-security prisons, off-world escorts, and urban control in high-risk situations. The latter, on the other hand, deploys Coruscant-trained shock troopers as security forces stationed around important facilities, patrol routes, and orbital stations—even on other Core Worlds.
They operate differently to the GAR in both structure and conduct. These clones are trained to be loyal to the Republic and follow orders without question, regardless of their moral judgement. Needless to say, giving lab-grown, highly effective super-soldiers such a degree of power and authority over the general population isn't a particularly great idea.
Since the Coruscant Guard was established a couple of months into the war, there's a mild disparity in behavior and way of thinking between the clones who were present for initial battles, and those who graduated from Homeworld training facilities. It was deemed necessary for cadets to be transferred and trained on the planet, to better prepare them for the urban setting. These facilites are overseen by Homeworld Security officers, with regular inspections by a number of selected Jedi Investigators (on the Council's insistence).
The Deserters
While the odd individual might choose to quietly drop out of the game and take their chances throughout the galaxy, the greater majority of clone deserters are secretly gathering at Clan Skirata's Kyrimorut on Mandalore. It's not only a safe haven away from the Republic, but also an opportunity to become Mandalorian proper and make a life for themselves.
A major goal of the group—with the significant help of former Cuy'val Dar Kal Skirata and Mij Gilamar—is to undo their accelerated aging and save as many brothers as they can. On top of that, they've taken to aid their fellow Mandalorians in their efforts against both the New Mandalorians and Death Watch, so that their culture and people may thrive once again.
Considering Jango recruited them, I believe most of the Cuy'val Dar were either friends and sympathizers of the True Mandalorians (Haat Mando'ade) or even follow their beliefs, but stay quiet about it.
Some of these "rogue" clones have taken the actions of the Republic and even Jedi a little more personally than others, choosing to fight against and sabotage them from the shadows.
Mandalore
The planet itself isn't as inhospitable as it's made to appear, much of it has managed to heal after the Dral'Han, though large wastelands still remain. Sparse forests cover portions of the northern hemisphere, while the south is filled with tundras and marshes. The New Mandalorians chose to remain in their domed cities within the wastes out of a mix of pride, convenience, and fear - knowing they would make easier targets attempting to build up settlements out in the open. Frequent sand- and electrical storms usually help to deter any unwanted guests. Because of that, they are relatively unaware of the exact number of survivors and re-settlers residing in the old cities or wandering as nomads.
The Civil War—also known as the Clan Wars— is still quite active and has taken its toll on both the people and their planets, scarring worlds many times over after skirmishes and raids. It has marked Mandalorian space as best avoided by the rest of the galaxy, while pirates see it as an opportunity.
New Mandalorians
Referred to as the Evaar Mando'ade, or simply Evaar'ade by other Mandalorians. Led by Duchess Satine Kryze since she was little over 20 years old around 38 BBY, after having spent a year on the run due to the ongoing hostilities. Following republic occupation, Kalevala is one of the few worlds which began heavily incorporating non-Mandalorian customs and ideals found beyond the sector, such as concepts of nobility and gendered presentation. These notions developed on a significantly larger scale, however, among the citizens of Mandalore, resonating with the more comfortable, metropolized life seen in the Republic.
Originally from Kalevala, Satine underwent diplomatic training on Coruscant and through Republic aid spearheaded the modern civil movement. Believing the change was necessary to ensure a stable future and prevent another Dral'Han, the New Mandalorians declared themselves as the face of Mandalore, despite strong opposition. They hope to gain political allies and secure their position in the galaxy using diplomacy and trade agreements, even if it means forsaking their cultural heritage.
Death Watch (Kyr'tsad)
Lit. "Death Society" - Once a splinter group of extremist criminals founded by Tor Vizsla in response to Jaster Mereel's rise as Mand'alor back in 60 BBY, Death Watch has since grown into a full-blown political faction in direct opposition to the reforms introduced by both the New and True Mandalorians. Wishing to return to their days of conquest, Death Watch pillage and murder their way through the sector and its neighbors, seeking glory and control.
Tor was succeeded by the then barely 17 Pre Vizsla, who quickly garnered respect thanks to the Darksaber handed to him by the Sith as part of a deal. The mythology surrounding the ancient weapon and his vision for Mandalore allowed him to sway a great number of clans. Over the years, his cunning and vicious nature would come to serve the group via carefully planned, underhanded tactics. 
Despite claiming to represent what it really means to be Mandalorian, the majority of its members have shown to abuse the power and authority given to them, even among their own. They've gained a reputation as crafty and ruthless killers, loyal to none except their leader. Since the faction sprung from Vizsla and his sympathizers, its members came to base the right to lead on whomever possesses the mythical blade. As it can only be won in a duel, it's symbolic of their prime ideology: Only the strong survive and are worthy.
Pre's Death Watch initially used abandoned mines on Concordia as hideouts, but with growing support (and enough pressure), the larger clans would use their homes and additional resources to establish forts, eventually securing the moon for themselves. Most of the children are enlisted into the faction's Fighting Corps, raised into effective and loyal soldiers from a young age.
True Mandalorians (Haat Mando'ade)
Also simply called the Haat'ade - all of the original True Mandalorians may have been killed, but their ideology—emphasizing honor, justice, and to care for one another—is still carried by former sympathizers and allies. The actions of both New Mandalorians and Death Watch since have only shifted other clans' view on Jaster Mereel's vision into favor, even marking him as a martyr to some. His Supercommando Codex is still being passed around by a number of mercenaries, while the rest began adhering more closely to the Resol'nare.
However, beyond a handful of individual covert operations, very few are banding together and standing against the Duchess or Vizsla, instead choosing to keep a low profile or leave the sector. For many years following their fall, calling yourself a Haat Mando'ad was a surefire way to get yourself and your loved ones killed, as Death Watch made it a sport to hunt any of the remaining members and supporters.
Nite Owls (Ca'haaise)
Lit. "Night Eyes" - a group of elite soldiers originating on Kalevala, especially skilled as pilots and close-combatants. Valuing justice, loyalty, and authority above all else, they once upheld order around their home. It was seen as a noble commitment for a time, until New Mandalorian policies called for the Owls to disband. Some deferred to Kryze's authority out of respect for her clan, which once harbored many of its members within their ranks. They were hired as official security forces in the form of the Mandalorian Guard, along with members of similar groups, like the Journeyman Protectors of Concord Dawn.
The rest refused to give up their vows or traditions and left Kalevala in their ships, becoming semi-nomadic, still patrolling the borders of Mandalorian space out of a sense of duty for their people.
When Bo-Katan Kryze rose to be leader of the Nite Owls, she agreed to join Death Watch as a means to remove the New Mandalorians from power and restore their ways. Some members—led by Bo's apprentice Koska Reeves—would eventually splinter off and return to patrolling the sector, put-off by the dishonorable and often cruel actions typical of the extremist group.
A defining feature of the Nite Owls, next to their shoulder-emblem, is the distinct helmet. The narrow, angled visor and leaf-like "bladed" dents in the cheeks are meant to inspire the image of a bird and serve to set them apart from other Mandalorians, regardless of clan. Some lean even more into it, by painting wings or a stylized owl face over the brow. Their armor mostly features blue, teal, and black, with accents of white.
Red Blades (Tal'kale)
Built on the ideals of the Haat'ade, similar to the Nite Owls not loyal to Vizsla, these soldiers serve all of Mandalore and its people as protectors and emergency responders. These can include Supercommandos, or will be joined by them on missions, if their goals align. The Blades, however, generally do not expect compensation for their work.
The Red Blades were founded by a number of the clone deserters taken in by former Cuy'val Dar Kal Skirata, with other Mandalorians soon joining their cause. They aim to fight back against Death Watch and the corruption invited by the Evaar'ade, for the good of all honorable Mandalorians. Refusing to let their skills go to waste, they've chosen to help wherever they can - landing somewhere between organized vigilantes and relief workers.
Their chosen emblem depicts crossed swords, with a triangle above and a drop below. True to their name, most of their armor is painted red. Intially meant by the clones as a nod to Skirata, over time, the choice became symbolic of honoring Mandalore as a whole. Other colors used in combination mainly include: black, white, and green.
Tal'kale is somewhat of a play on words by the adopted clone commanders of Skirata.
Journeyman Protectors
The law enforcement agency fell under jurisdiction of the New Mandalorians when Concord Dawn's govenor joined the movement in response to increasing attacks by Death Watch. Some of the constables would go on to become members of the Mandalorian Guard issued by Satine - the stability and payment favored by most, while younger recruits often wish to enact law and order beyond the confines of the farm-world.
Old Mandalorians
These encompass any of the neutral, independent, or un-involved Mandalorians adhering to the Resol'nare. Most of these clans and individuals have chosen to distance themselves from the civil war, leaving the Mandalorian sector to settle somewhere else, or wander around the galaxy as bounty hunters and mercenaries.
Colors
Most, but not all Mandalorians, use colors to signify their core traits and values. From painting their armor, to the shade of their kute - the way they choose to present themselves, can say a lot about them as a group or individual.
Black - Justice
White - Vision, Forethought
Gray - Mourning a loved one
Silver (light) - Purpose
Gold (sand tones) - Vengeance
Red - Honoring a parent, mentor, or leader
Orange - A lust for life and much more
Yellow - Honor, Integrity
Green - Duty
Teal - Cunning
Blue - Reliability
Purple - Freedom
Pink - Tenacity
Brown - Valor
Darksiders
Ventress
Based on her appearance in the 2003 cartoon
She's got those glowing white eyes and buff shoulders, ok?
Ambitious, arrogant, immature but focused, and eager to prove herself with a certain dramatic flair
Appointed herself as Dooku's Apprentice (pending), with a desire to obtain and understand the power of the Sith
She follows as a student, not as a pawn, her loyalty only to her own belief
Maul
Survived getting bisected, as usual, but it was mostly thanks to his training at the Academy and the Force
It took a while for him to start walking again and by then, the thought of facing Sidious after his failure made him hesitate
Masking his presence in the dark smog of Coruscant's depths, he retrieved a nodule from the Force dragon he once killed there, so he may "disappear"
Once possessed by ideas of revenge, his focus eventually shifted as his needs did, later becoming a skilled slicer and assassin
A decade later as an ex-Sith, his greatest desire is to see his fromer Master's house of cards fold into itself and watch the old man trip and die
Would be reasonable for him to hold some grudges against everyone who's wronged him, including Obi-Wan... And yet, it would be kinda funny if Maul barely even gives a damn anymore and is just being petty, but Kenobi still has nightmares about him.
Grievous
Also based on his 2003 CW appearance - that guy was Menacing
Dangerous, unpredictable, and a force to be reckoned with, despite being as Force-sensitive as a rock
Definitely ups the horror factor and plays with his opponents before viciously striking them down
Doesn't really do the whole hacking, coughing, monologues, or verbal taunting - says exactly what he needs to in a calculated and calm demeanor
He's like a creepier, slightly more unhinged version of Vader
Has been killing Jedi since he was brought into this war
Dathomir
The Dathomiri are a hybrid-species born from the intensely force-sensitive natives of the planet and a fleet of Zabraki pirates, who once settled there. The original population strictly divided themselves into female witches and male hunters, the practice persisting even after contact. Key features include a lack of hair, glowing eyes, and a crown of horns found more prominently (though not exclusively) among males. Time also brought a significant dimorphism in color: majority of the women bear cooler skin-tones, while men tend to have more intense, warmer shades.
Majority of the witches on Dathomir are part of the Nightsisters, led by Mother Talzin. Some of the other clans remain, though they are few and far between. These witches still practice their old traditions and cultivate close bonds with rancors, which help in keeping the Nightsisters at bay.
All covens delve in illusions, visions, and echoes, but have also developed a Force technique allowing them to manipulate temperature - freeze objects solid or set them on fire. They tend to make for great healers, too; though when it comes to the Nightsisters, I'm not sure I'd trust it too much, considering they're also known to raise the dead.
The Nightbrothers aren't entirely subservient in this, it's a more complicated relationship. They live a largely nomadic life on the surface of the planet, moving with the seasons as hunters and honing their skills as warriors. The 'Sisters live in hidden, vast underground networks, to be "closer to the heart of Dathomir, the darkest shadows." While both have night vision, the 'Sisters usually have fully white, glowing eyes and can see in complete darkness, although it tends to make them sensitive to light. The 'Brothers both revere and fear the witches, typically offering tribute and sometimes trade - supplies for potions and help.
While the greater majority of Dathomiri are force-sensitive to some degree, the males usually go without proper training and their connection often fades as they grow older. Sometimes a child turns out too strong in the Force to ignore, and is taken by the Nightsisters to be trained as a "Shade" - warriors skilled in the Force, often given to outsiders as assassins and soldiers (particularly the Sith).
The full-body tattoos seen on Nightbrothers is a tradition shared by some other Zabraks, either as a rite of passage, or to denote belonging to a clan or family lineage.
Tusken (Ghorfa)
Among themselves and some groups of Jawa, they are still known as the Ghorfa, who once lived in the ruins built into canyons and caverns. Many of the humanoid settlers on Tattooine are not aware the "Sand People" of the Dune Sea are the same ones as the "Lost Architects" of their archaeological finds, or simply choose not to see it.
"Tusken Raiders" initially only referred to tribes with a similar appearance as the group that once attacked Fort Tusken, but some—particularly off-worlders—use it as a blanket term for all Ghorfa. Through the generations, an ever-increasing number of people have taken to calling the nomads of the Wastes simply "Tusken."
There are many different tribes, with various traditions and opinions, most of which keep to themselves and are simply trying to survive, keeping their culture alive. However, there are those who carry more resentment towards outsiders for driving them from their homes and killing their people. These are better known to the settlers and off-worlders, due to frequent skirmishes and raids.
Ghorfa use little, if any, metal in their tools and wear; the sand and heat would make it too much of a hazard. Of course, there's always outliers and exceptions, but majority of the hard materials they use are bones, wood, stone, and clay or glazes. They generally have a disdain for the advanced technologies of settlers, drawing back on old beliefs that such technologies caused the downfall of their civilization and killed their world. Not all share this view to the same degree, as some are seen making use of scavenged items and have even left the planet via ship.
Born of the need to protect themselves from harsh conditions, the practice of covering their entire body in robes eventually became a sacred tradition. Showing any skin outside of clan members or Healers is considered a great taboo. The design of head gear is not only essential to their survival, but also signifies their tribe and sometimes even profession. The language is a mix of spoken words and hand signs - when communicating with other sentients, they mainly rely on the latter, as their vocalization is incompatible with most other humanoid species, save for Wookiees.
I don't care what canon says, if the Force resides in all living beings, then these guys can be sensitive to it as well. Those who are, usually become known as Guides, Seers, and Healers and are regarded with the highest respect across tribes.
That's all for now.
If you have any questions or suggestions, please let me know! I'm also not as well-versed in Mando'a, so I appreciate any pointers thrown my way 😅
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karmarox · 6 months ago
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Chaos and the Lamb
Or: My Leshy X Lamb / Shrubwool headcanons (Sorry to the Kallamar fans that ate up my wet beast character study for doing Leshy first but a reply made me inspired)
First off, as a preface for pretty much any Bishop x Lamb ship in general to be healthy the Lamb has to be one that has either worked through their revenge/moved past it, obviously. Generally speaking in my interpretations of canon the Lamb would have gotten any closure/Justice they were seeking in the first go around and then by the time of entering the post game and freeing the Bishops from their eternal punishment they would have found another purpose in the Cult/as a God. So, aside from any lingering feelings over seeing them again, in their eyes, they got their revenge, sentence, and both the Lamb and the Bishops all got a second chance after death. Anything else is no longer personal (although more benevolent Lambs probably does have feelings for what a dangerous, stagnant state the Bishops left the lands in).
Leshy in particular I think the Lamb would have an easier time forgiving/accepting due to a combination of Leshy being the youngest and weakest and arguably having the least involvement/responsibility in everything that happened as well as by virtue of being the youngest/weakest being the one who spent the longest in Purgatory. So already the Lamb is a bit kinder to them than the other Bishops.
Leshy was the god of Chaos, so despite everything he does have a bit of a "Letting Nature Takes Its Course" mentality. While initially bitter about the whole getting killed and letting his family down and being put through Purgatory only to discover everything that happened after he was gone, he ends up having a surprisingly similar mentality to the Lamb in that there's nothing really "personal" left to feud over in his second life. He's pretty much neutral to the Cult, but warms up a lot more once he finds out the Lamb is freeing his siblings too.
As for how they bond... well, being young gods forced into a role without much teaching gives them both a lot to talk about. Leshy is actually surprisingly really competent in pretty much any task given to him despite his blindness and chaotic luck and tendency to get distracted. The latter can generally be solved by just changing up the things he's given so things don't get too monotonous. Leshy ends up finding that he enjoys being given tasks he thinks are "easy" and being rewarded with lots of free time and praise. In return Leshy ends up helping the Lamb learn a whole lot more about nature. Also tries to encourage them to have more fun and recreation time. Totally on a whim (and maybe to see what kind of trouble/shenanigans the Lamb would come up with for "fun").
The Lamb is surprised at how competent Leshy is at pretty much any job or chore given to him. Farming, Cooking, Bartending, Logging. Basically as long as Leshy can keep his mind on the task he's one of the most efficient workers around. Discovering that Leshy is absolutely and totally weak to praise and positive reinforcement was an accident, but one that Lamb quickly learns from and totally begins exploiting.
Finding out that Leshy is also highly weak to physical contact was also an accident. Probably tried petting him as a joke like one of the Dog followers after a good job once they've gotten more friendly with each other. This got a bigger reaction out of the worm than the Lamb expected. So they ended up doing it more, and Leshy pretty much turned into a mushy bush in their hands... And then the Lamb also ends up realizing at the same time how starved for touch and physical affection they are.
It just progressed from there. Pretty much any time they talk to each other, at least a bit of touching will ensue. It grounds them both. A comforting presence despite everything. Petting, holding, brushing, a gentle touch amidst chaos. The Lamb feels relaxed in ways they forgot/never knew by being able to hold and lean on someone whenever they want and having that someone respond positively. Leshy highly enjoys feeling different parts of the Lamb (and also enjoys the Lamb's reactions and tries to imagine/remember what they look like).
They get pretty mushy even in public. It's fondness expressed not in words or kisses but in holding hands, caresses, touches, nuzzling even in the middle of conversation. Followers and onlookers are either jealous, d'awwing over how endearing it is, embarrassed over how much handholding is going on, or completely baffled if they're more familiar with the history.
As an aside: The Lamb's bell ends up becoming one of Leshy's favorite noises. It sounds nice, and nowadays means something good's probably going to happen to him in a moment. Mortality isn't so bad. He still wants to see if restoring his sight is still possible, though. He can get around without his eyes, but being able to see his loved ones again and remember what they look like would be nice...
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daitranscripts · 22 days ago
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An Unexpected Engagement Pt. 4
An Honorable Duel
Josephine Masterpost First: Terrible News Previous: About Lord Otranto
After the PC completes the war table mission “Challenge Josephine's Fiancé to a Duel,” an envoy arrives at Skyhold.
Messenger: Your Worship. May I deliver a message from Lord Adorno Ciel Otranto of Antiva? His lordship accepts your request for a duel for the affection of Lady Montilyet. He awaits your please in Val Royeaux.
Dialogue options:
General: Convey my thanks. [1]
General: That was easy enough. [2]
General: He’s going to be awaiting my fist. [3]
1 - General: Convey my thanks. PC: Tell Lord Otranto I look forward to settling this honorably. At once, Inquisitor. [4]
2 - General: That was easy enough. PC: No protests? No outrage that I’m trying to steal Josephine from him? Quite the contrary, Inquisitor. Lord Otranto is greatly looking forward to his first duel of the month. May you enjoy safe passage to Val Royeaux, Your Worship. [4]
3 - General: He’s going to be awaiting my fist. PC: Your master had better bring a first-rate healer with him. The Otrantos do not fear a fair fight, but I will convey your… advice. Good day to you. [4]
4 - Scene continues.
The PC travels to Val Royeaux.
Otranto: I am Lord Otranto of Antiva, rightfully betrothed of Lady Josephine Montilyet.
Otranto bows slightly before taking a pair of swords from some nearby guards. He throws one to the PC.
Otranto: Songs of your exploits have spread to my city, Inquisitor. It’s humbling to make your acquaintance.
The begin to circle each other.
Otranto: It is a pity it will not last longer. Before we duel, I trust you find the weapon to your satisfaction?
Dialogue options:
Investigate: What about my own weapons? [5]
General: Rapiers will do. [6]
General: If you must. [7]
General: Let’s get to it. [8]
5 - Investigate: What about my own weapons? PC: Am I not allowed to pick my means of defense?
Mage PC Otranto: Hah! Aside from the fact that your mage fire may put me at a disadvantage?
Otranto: I am the wounded party in this duel. Tradition dictates that I select our weapons. Of course, if you fear you might be clumsy with such a refined instrument, there is no shame in a forfeit.
Dialogue options:
General: Rapiers will do. [6]
General: If you must. [7]
General: No way. [9]
6 - General: Rapiers will do. PC: I trust you’ve made this a fair fight, Lord Otranto. Otranto: Upon my honor. Shall we begin? [10]
7 - General: If you must. PC: Rapiers will do, if you’re out of your depth with a more substantial weapon. Otranto: (Laughs.) Very good! Let us begin. [10]
8 - General: Let’s get to it. PC: Absolutely. Otranto: Then let us begin. [10]
9 - General: No way. PC: Not on your life. Otranto: Then let us begin. [10]
10 - Scene continues.
They begin to fight.
Otranto: An admirable start, Inquisitor!
Otranto (dwarf PC): And I was worried a civilized weapon might puzzle you, [Lady/Lord] Cadash! Otranto (Dalish PC): I assume your elven clan stumbled upon a practice sword one day in the woods. Otranto (Qunari PC): Perhaps not all Qunari are the simple peasants rumors paint them to be. Otranto (human PC): Perhaps House Trevelyan isn’t the obscure backwater I’ve heard it to be.
Otranto: I’m glad Lady Montilyet isn’t here, exquisite as I’ve heard her appearance to be.
He moves in on the PC.
Otranto: Cutting you down in front of Josephine would’ve given a poor first impression of House Otranto to my bride.
Dialogue options:
Underworld: You’re a family of backstabbers. [11]
General: She doesn’t want to marry you. [12]
General: I’ll tell her about you once I win. [13]
General: Stay away from her! [14]
11 - Underworld: You’re a family of backstabbers. PC: Strange. I would think the Otrantos already have enough blood on their hands after cheating the Terrazas. Otranto: Who told you— The PC shoves him back. Otranto: You dare to bring up that slander here? Otranto angrily goes at the PC again, and the PC slashes him across the arm. Otranto: Inquisitor, I will personally— [15]
12 - General: She doesn’t want to marry you. PC: Josephine doesn’t want this engagement. Call it off. Otranto shoves the PC back Otranto: To what purpose? You can’t think I’d— [15]
13 - General: I’ll tell her about you once I win. PC: Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to tell Josephine you fought bravely. Otranto shoves the PC back Otranto: I admire your fearlessness, but you cannot hope— [15]
14 - General: Stay away from her! PC: You won’t so much as touch her! Otranto shoves the PC back Otranto: Neither will you, Inquisitor, unless you— [15]
15 - Scene continues.
Josephine: Stop!
The PC and Otranto look over.
PC: Josephine!
Otranto: Lady Montilyet! What a pleasure to—
Josephine walks past him to the PC.
Josephine: What are you doing?
Dialogue options:
General: Trying to help your family. [16]
General: I can explain. [17]
General: Dueling him for you. [18]
16 - General: Trying to help your family. PC: If I duel Otranto to stop your betrothal, any dishonor falls on me—not your family. Josephine: I would’ve found a way around it! [19]
17 - General: I can explain. PC: Lord Otranto and I are settling our differences about your betrothal…? Josephine: That’s not your decision! [19]
18 - General: Dueling him for you. PC: Josephine, I can’t take the chance that you might have to marry him! Josephine: That’s not your decision! [19]
19 - Scene continues.
Josephine: The Inquisition needs you. I need you! Yet you threw yourself into danger! Why do this? Why risk everything we’ve built? Why risk your life?
Dialogue options:
End romance: You’re right. This was a mistake. (Break off your romantic relationship with Josephine.) [20]
Flirt: Out of love! (Continue your romantic relationship with Josephine.) [21]
20 - End romance: You’re right. This was a mistake. PC: Apparently I didn’t think this through.
Josephine: Apparently not. Since we can’t see each other until the betrothal is annulled… we’d best end things on a more permanent basis.
Otranto: If you are no longer spoken for, Lady Montilyet, why abandon our engagement?
PC: You think she’ll marry you?
Otranto: Yes—will you marry me?
Otranto drops to one knee.
Josephine: I’m not marrying either of you!
She storms away.
Otranto: Well. That appears to be the end of that. A draw, then?
Dialogue options:
General: Agreed. [22]
General: Why make the day worse? [23]
General: Absolutely not! [24]
22 - General: Agreed. PC: There’s no point in fighting over something already decided. Otranto: This was not how I envisioned the proceedings, either. At any rate, I believe the Otrantos will reconsider my engagement to Lady Josephine. Unless… do you know if she has a sister, perhaps? The PC throws their sword down and walks away. Scene ends. ㅤㅤ ㅤ 23 - General: Why make the day worse? PC: A draw. I see no reason to make an even larger fool of myself today. Otranto: This was not how I envisioned the proceedings, either. At any rate, I believe the Otrantos will reconsider my engagement to Lady Josephine. Unless… do you know if she has a sister, perhaps? The PC throws their sword down and walks away. Scene ends. ㅤㅤ ㅤ 24 - General: Absolutely not! PC: I will have satisfaction, Otranto, one way or another! Otranto: Ha! Let no fight go unfinished then, Inquisitor? Well, then: have at you! They continue the duel. Scene ends.
21 - Flirt: Out of love! PC: Because I love you!
Josephine: You… you do?
Otranto: [They do?]
The PC throws down their sword.
Dialogue options:
General: Of course I do. PC: Yes, Josephine. I love you so much. ㅤㅤ ㅤ
General: Apparently I do. PC: I wasn’t quite sure until I said it, but… yes. Yes, I love you. ㅤㅤ ㅤ
General: You heard me. PC: And I mean it. Every word.
Josephine: I love you, too.
The PC spins Josephine in the air and they kiss.
Otranto: Well-fought.
Josephine: Lord Otranto—
Otranto: I’d assumed your liaison with the Inquisitor was an affair of passion or convenience, Lady Montilyet.
Otranto sheathes his sword.
Otranto: But I’m not fool enough to stand in the way of true affection. The Otrantos regretfully withdraw the terms of our betrothal.
Josephine: Thank you.
Otranto: Do not thank me. I know when I’m outmatched.
He bows and leaves.
Dialogue options:
General: I should have mentioned the duel. [25]
General: That ended incredibly well. [26]
General: This is wonderful. [27]
25 - General: I should have mentioned the duel. PC: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about arranging the duel. Josephine: Given that you’re in one piece, body and dignity, I forgive you. [28]
26 - General: That ended incredibly well. PC: I can’t imagine a better ending. But wouldn’t you be impressed by a dueling scar? Josephine: My dearest [lord/lady], I love you precisely the way you are. [28]
27 - General: This is wonderful. PC: Josephine, I’ve never been happier in my life. Josephine: We’re tempting fate with such talk. But neither have I. [28]
28 - Scene continues.
Josephine: Just do kiss me again.
They kiss.
Scene ends.
Next: After the Excitement
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hope-grace-serenity · 4 years ago
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In Defense of the Deputy: Morals and Ethics in Far Cry 5
The narratives of recent Far Cry installments have been framed in a way that make the player question whether or not they’re truly playing as the “good guy.” In Far Cry 3, Jason slowly embraces the violent lifestyle on Rook Island, gradually finding the killing to be a fun power trip instead of the horrifying reality that it is. In Far Cry 4, Ajay topples a ruthless dictator, only to replace him with a revolutionary that is either a religious extremist or a person who has children kidnapped in order to make them into soldiers/slaves. In Far Cry 5, the Deputy goes up against a professed prophet in an attempt to subdue him and his cult, only to find in the end that the prophet was right about the end of the world. It is logical to think that if the Deputy would have just left the cult well enough alone, then that would have been the right choice, as it would have avoided the war between Eden’s Gate and the rest of Hope County, as possibly the Collapse itself. However, there is a different way to view it.
The purpose of this post is to convey that Joseph being accurate regarding the Collapse does not necessarily mean that avoiding confrontation with Eden’s Gate or joining them would have been the “right” thing to do. In fact, it will suggest the opposite: that the Deputy has a moral and ethical obligation to fight *against* Eden’s Gate and that the actions of the cult are firmly wrong despite the Collapse happening. While we as players can certainly feel empathy for the Seeds, their actions within the game make them the clear villains in this scenario, in my opinion. The Deputy deserves no blame for attempting to subdue the cult, and I will explain why by focusing on both in-universe rationale and looking at the narrative from a broader perspective.
The Warrant
First, we need to examine the idea of morality and ethics. Morality refers to a person’s principles of right and wrong--this is something that can be influenced by a person’s culture, religion, family, experiences, etc. Ethics refers to rules of conduct given by some kind of external source. In Far Cry 5, the protagonist is a law enforcement official with an ethical obligation to uphold the law and confront those who break it. Furthermore, from the perspective of a 21st century American--which we can assume the Deputy is, based on the setting of the game--Eden’s Gate commits several acts that cause harm and remove the personal agency of others, which provides the Deputy with a moral motivation for stopping them, as opposed to solely an ethical one.
An arrest warrant is made for Joseph Seed due to suspicion of kidnapping with an intent to harm. The Deputy choosing not to go through with the arrest would be bad from both a moral and ethical perspective. “Kidnapping with an intent to harm” is a serious charge, and can be a matter of life or death for the victim. Imagine if you were the parent or sibling of the kidnapping victim, and you found out that the law enforcement officials chose not to go through with the arrest of the suspect because they were afraid of rocking the boat. If that information was made public, the law enforcement officials would be rightly criticized for not doing their jobs, and for prioritizing their own desire for convenience over bringing justice to the victim. By arresting Joseph Seed, the Deputy made the moral and ethical decision.
As we see from the main game, the “suspicions” listed in the arrest warrant are later proven to be correct. Alex is killed, and his body is mutilated and put on public display as a warning. Hannah is tortured physically and psychologically, and is also killed due to her forced participation in Jacob’s trials. Joseph and several members of Eden’s Gate knew that they kidnapped the film crew. They knew in advance that Law Enforcement was coming. So, how do they decide to handle this? In a way befitting for characters who are meant to be viewed as villains.
Before the Reaping
Before we get into what the Deputy actually sees in-game, one thing needs to be made clear: Eden’s Gate always had an underlying darkness surrounding them. Regardless of what they looked like on the surface, they were never some peaceful hippie commune that was minding its own business before the Deputy came along. They’ve been committing crimes and getting away with them for years. They didn’t suddenly snap once the Deputy arrived--the Deputy’s arrival simply peeled back and revealed what was already there.
We know from the “Grieving Note” that Angels have been with Eden’s Gate for several years, longer than the current Faith has been with the group. Angels are humans who are exposed to an extreme amount of the Bliss drug, which causes them to lose their capacity for human thought and essentially act as a literal mindless follower. Their loss of identity and individuality is furthered by Eden’s Gate shaving the heads of the Angels and surgically removing their ability to speak. They act as slave labor--described as "beasts of burden"--and are fed dog food and garbage. The idea of becoming an angel is used as a threat to fellow cultists in the “Cult Note” in the King’s Hot Springs Hotel. The fact that Eden's Gate creates and condones the existence of these Angels is truly disturbing from a moral perspective, due to the inherent exploitation and dehumanization. When Angels die, their bodies are tossed in a pit of “boiling muck” in Horned Serpent Cave to disintegrate.
Angels aren’t the only ones thrown in the pit to disintegrate: Joseph threw the body of Lana, a previous Faith, in there as well, despite being told by him that she was “special.” There is a reason the writers chose to highlight that the bodies were disposed of in here, as opposed to the cult simply burying them. Bodies are disintegrated if you want to hide evidence, and by tossing the bodies in a location with properties dangerous enough to require a bio-hazard sign, any crimes are easily covered up. We don’t find the bodies of Selena or the other previous Faiths who were "used up and thrown away" by Joseph, but considering there are hints that point to foul play (disintegration of Lana’s body, Megan leaving out of fear of what Joseph could do after seeing that there was a new Faith, the way the position itself is dehumanized, the fact that Joseph has a designated corpse disposal spot in the first place, etc.) and absolutely zero evidence towards any kind of alternate fate for the previous Faiths, it’s easy to put two and two together and conclude that the previous Faiths met a grisly fate that was covered up as well.
Eden’s Gate was also involved in animal abuse through the creation of Judges, which were unleashed after the reaping. These animals were kidnapped and forcibly exposed to an obscene amount of the Bliss drug, which purposely causes them to act like rabid killers in the service of Eden’s Gate. According to NPCs, they were trained to hunt humans.
Let’s also not forget that Joseph personally gorged a guy’s eyes out for being a traitor. If the developers didn’t want us to view Joseph as someone who was capable of doing that, then they would have removed it from the introductory video, but they didn’t. Also, the fact that Eden’s Gate has been planning for the Reaping for a while now shows that this group had the intent to launch a large-scale attack from before the Deputy even arrived at the compound.
And last but certainly not least, YEARS before the events of FC5, Jacob sent the Cook to kidnap Jess’s family. The Cook starved the family for days before torturing the parents and children by playing sick mind games and feeding the parents' flesh to their children. After all their toes were cut off, the parents were set on fire in front of their kids. The fact that this happened years ago, and this Cook is still with the group, is quite telling and reveals a lot about the morality and priorities of Eden’s Gate. If they wanted to get rid of him, they would have.
So as we can see, Eden’s Gate has no moral high ground to stand on at the start of the game. Not only is Joseph guilty of the crime he is accused of, but he and his organization are guilty of so much more, and have been for years. These actions committed by Eden’s Gate violate numerous laws and are morally wrong, as they bring severe harm to others and/or forcibly remove another’s personal agency for the convenience of the cult. The Deputy uncovers all of this throughout the course of the game.
During the Reaping
Knowledge of Eden’s Gate’s past crimes would be reason enough to take down this cult, but the Deputy also sees the current horrors firsthand. During the Reaping, cultists kidnap, torture, mutilate, and murder numerous unwilling participants. They steal supplies and were willing to kidnap a beloved pet dog in order to perform experiments on him and turn the poor dog into a savage killer, after killing his owners. Defaced corpses are decorated and strung up as warnings. Some citizens of Hope County are fed to Judges, while others are turned into Angels or are forced to leap off a giant statue. If someone doesn’t convert to the religion of Eden’s Gate, then they are either tortured or drugged until they give in, or murdered.
The Deputy has zero incentive to walk away from this conflict. Why would they? As a deputy of Hope County, they have a moral and ethical obligation to protect the county’s citizens, and those citizens are under attack by Eden’s Gate. Eden’s Gate are the aggressors in this scenario. *They* are the ones who are kidnapping, murdering, torturing, and brainwashing the Hope County citizens. As far as the Deputy is aware at the beginning of the game, they are the only remaining police officer and only person in a position of authority to fight against the cult. It is their responsibility to fight against the people causing grievous harm to the county.
Throughout the game, the Deputy’s personal encounters with the heralds further reinforce the idea that Eden’s Gate is dangerous and beyond reason. While confessions can and should be voluntary, John does not approach it in that way. John kidnaps, terrorizes, and tortures the hardened Joey Hudson to the point of tears, and brings the Deputy to his torture dungeon where he once pried confessions under duress from prior individuals of the county. He kidnapped the Deputy in order to forcibly baptize them to the point where they might have drowned without Joseph’s interference, and captures them in order to make them confess, using the presence of Hudson as leverage (Hudson’s misery was also used as incentive on the video to draw the Deputy to the Holland region). He lures the Deputy to the church in the same way (by kidnapping their friends) and then permanently modifies their body against their will. Despite his proclaimed desire to have the Deputy atone, John also expresses desire to see the Deputy dead on occasion, such as after they destroy his sign.
While it might be easier for the player to sympathize with John due to his backstory and dynamic with Joseph, from the Deputy’s in-universe perspective, his instability represents a very real, tangible threat not only to them, but to the people of Hope County as a whole. At every turn, John has either imposed his will onto the Deputy by removing opportunities for agency and/or harming others. The Deputy owes John nothing. Any "choice" he gives of saying "Yes" is undermined by the massive amount of strings attached. It is difficult to envision a reason why the Deputy would decide to give into John’s philosophy, aside from faking it in order to protect their allies. This is a failing on John's part, not the Deputy.
Like John, Faith also expresses a desire for the Deputy to give in to Eden's Gate. But unlike John, she initially appears to the Deputy in a more pacifistic, less confrontational way. Despite this, the Deputy is still able to see her darker side due to her views on the Angels and fate of the unfortunate souls who walk the path whipping themselves and take a literal leap off of the statue of Joseph. Furthermore, she overrides the Deputy’s agency through the use of Bliss, which drastically warps one’s perception of reality. The Bliss that she now controls makes the horrific creation of Angels possible, and this Bliss is also used during baptisms, which muddles the issue of personal agency and consent to John’s process in addition to her own conversion process. The dangers of the Bliss and how it affects one’s thought process become highlighted in the Henbane region, and letters, voicemails, and NPC chatter show that Faith is not one to be trifled with. This comes to a head when Faith brainwashes the Sheriff and manipulates the Marshall into killing Virgil before killing himself. While it’s easy to have sympathy for Faith and her experiences, from the Deputy’s perspective, Faith is still a potential danger, which is why they step back when she leaned toward them during her death scene.
Jacob too removes the Deputy’s personal agency by literally brainwashing them and turning them into a tool that he can command, which eventually results in the Deputy being forced to kill a friend. He forced captives into competing against each other in life or death trials. He keeps the Deputy in a cage with a dead body and feeds them “mystery meat” after seven days of starving them while telling them a story about how he cannibalized his friend. The Judges are his brainchild that he sends to attack and kill others. Like John, Jacob also kidnapped and tortured a fellow police officer, to the point where they act like a slave to Jacob’s whims. Jacob has not done anything other than convincing the Deputy that he is a threat.
It is not the Deputy's job to fix the Seeds' personal issues--it's their job to protect Hope County. Throughout their journey, the Deputy sees various atrocities being committed, both to strangers and to themselves and the people they care about. There is zero reason for the Deputy to genuinely give in to the Seeds and join Eden's Gate, considering the horrible way they were treated and how they saw others being treated.
Joseph and the Voice
The Deputy’s presence did not *force* Eden’s Gate to start the Reaping. *Joseph* was the one to initiate it as a reaction to the Deputy’s presence, and all of Eden’s Gate followed him lockstep. When given the opportunity to finally confront and arrest the man responsible or walk away, it almost feels laughable that it’s even a choice at this point.
As leader of Eden’s Gate, Joseph oversees all parts of the Project. The buck stops with him. If he had any issues with Faith’s Angels, or Jacob’s trials, or John’s torture, he could have and would have said something--such as when he intervenes during the baptism--but he doesn’t. Because it furthers the goal of the Project, he doesn’t see any issue with these actions and feels they are justified.
Joseph’s vision of the Collapse coming true doesn’t mean that his actions throughout the game have greater inherent morality than the Deputy. It just means that he’s right about the Collapse. Regarding the Reaping, I do not believe that Joseph was motivated by a sense of cruelty, but that doesn’t change how many of the actions he participated in and oversaw *were* cruel. In real life, we see various examples of some people (not just in religious institutions, but in positions of authority in general) who commit harmful acts for the sake of a perceived “greater good.” And many of those people genuinely believe in what they are doing, believe they are in the right. But that doesn’t mean they actually are.
Which brings us to the elephant in the room: the Voice. If the Voice of God supports Joseph, then surely the deputy is automatically the “bad guy” for opposing him, right?
Wrong.
First, we have to be willing to admit that we know next to nothing about the Voice. The only things we know about it is what is conveyed to us by Joseph. We do not know the exact wording of what the Voice says, the level of detail it gives him regarding expectations (if any), or even what it is. Is it the voice of God? Satan? A real angel? Some kind of eldritch entity from another dimension? How accurate is Joseph's reiteration or interpretation? Sometimes it seems to directly tell Joseph things (hence the title, “the Voice”), other times it shows him visions. Clearly, there is some kind of supernatural component, as it allows Joseph to see the future, but since we don’t know much about it specifically, we can’t automatically assume or attribute inherent benevolence or morality to it.
Second, it’s entirely possible for a genuine prophet of God (assuming the Voice does indeed belong to a benevolent creator), or those who have/had God’s favor, to engage in morally questionable behavior, both in the eyes of God and/or in the eyes of 21st century readers. While the Project at Eden’s Gate is its own distinct religion, it takes most of its cues from Christianity, both in terms of practices and beliefs. In the Bible, King David had a man murdered so he could sleep with that man’s wife. Jonah wanted the entire population of a city to be killed off instead of having them repent. Jacob (the Biblical figure) deceives his father into giving him a birthright that belonged to his brother, and shows blatant favoritism to one son which ends up causing a lot of internal strife within the family. It’s fully within the realm of possibility that Joseph’s actions are not meant to be endorsed, either by the Voice itself or by the narrative in a broader sense.
In New Dawn, Joseph alludes to his own personal failings by saying, “My soul has become a cancer. I am a monster. I only spread suffering and death in the name of God.” The death of his son and the destruction of New Eden act as a moment of awakening for Joseph, as he finally realizes the harsh reality of his actions and how they affect others. He then expresses a desire for death and says, “There is only the justice of God’s hand.” The implication of “justice” being done indicates that the Voice (“God”) would not be happy with some of the actions that Joseph did. So while Joseph’s actions in FC5 were done with the intent of serving the Voice, his execution of these ideas was something that Joseph feels God would not like, as his actions spread death and suffering.
And thirdly, we have to remember that the Deputy and the player are viewing the idea of morality from the perspective of a 21st century human. Let’s say that, hypothetically, the Voice specifically instructed and condoned the erasure of free will/murders/kidnappings/etc. for whatever reason, and by enacting them, Joseph and Eden’s Gate were “just following orders.” Does this absolve Joseph and Eden's Gate of responsibility? No. Willing participation in the crimes committed, even if it wasn’t “their idea,” can still have legal consequences and can still be viewed as “bad” from a moral perspective because of the results of those actions.
The Collapse
It has been discussed elsewhere (on this site and in outside articles/discussions about the game) that the actions of the deputy correspond with the role of the Lamb in Revelations, and by breaking the seals, the Deputy’s actions supernaturally trigger the Collapse. This interpretation is fairly popular, and is one I personally support. However, I do not feel as though this interpretation lessens the morality of the Deputy's actions. Their decision to fight the Seeds is still the right one, regardless of whether or not their actions resulted in some kind of cosmic game of dominos.
First off, when the Deputy is attempting to take down the Seeds and protect the people of Hope County, they are not doing this with the intent of playing a role in a cosmic prophecy that will result in the death of millions. They’re looking at the situation from a human perspective, and acting accordingly and sensibly. The Seeds, on the other hand, were willingly harming innocents both before and during the Reaping.
Second, if there's a need to assign blame to a human for starting the Collapse (and I personally don't think there needs to be), it would be the Seeds, not the Deputy. The Sheriff and the deputies wouldn’t have arrived with the arrest warrant if the Seeds were not kidnapping and doing other illegal actions.
And thirdly, if one does attribute blame of the Collapse to the Deputy, then one also must attribute the birth of the new world to them as well. Following along with the idea that the events of FC5 are a fulfillment of Revelations, then the Collapse is ultimately viewed as a Good Thing within in the context of the Book of Revelations, even if the player might not personally share the sentiment. The Book of Revelations describes how the new world that is supposed to emerge from the ashes of the old is meant to be much better than the one before. And if we look at the world of New Dawn--and I’m going to copy and paste something I wrote previously here---Nature is allowed to flourish, people work together and support each other in a tight community, all the social ills mentioned in the Book of Joseph (and by the characters in-game) no longer exist. The only “snakes in the garden” would be the Highwaymen, and they are abolished by the Captain, who Joseph prophesizes to be some kind of Messiah-like figure. The final scene of New Dawn is one of hope, where the characters talk about building a better future. The way Joseph and Ethan’s storyline ends also connects to the whole idea of breaking away from the past and moving forward. If one believes that the Deputy is responsible for the Collapse, then this new world shown in New Dawn and the context of Revelations complicates the idea of viewing the Deputy's actions as being inherently bad.
Some might also argue that the Deputy has responsibility for not taking Joseph's warnings more seriously. Why though? Why should the Deputy attribute more credibility to Joseph's claims than, say, those of Marshall Applewhite or David Koresh? As players who know the ending, it’s easy for us to say that the Deputy should have listened to Joseph's warning about the Collapse, but there’s no in-universe rationale for the Deputy to do so. Issues of belief aside, Eden’s Gate’s actions alone are enough to paint an extremely negative picture of the group and would be enough to make any regular person not want to associate with them.
Under the framework of the Revelations prophecy being the intended interpretation of the game events though, I personally don't feel that any character "deserves" blame for the Collapse happening, not even the Seeds. I blame the Seeds for what they do to people within the game and before the events of FC5. And my perception of the Deputy is based on what we see in the game as well. But again, the Revelations prophecy idea is simply one way to view the game. Regardless of whether or not this interpretation is the correct one, the deputy still has the moral high ground in their fight against the Seeds.
Conclusion
Joseph being right about the Collapse does not mean that his (and by extension, Eden’s Gate’s) actions during FC5 were justified, and the Deputy should not be blamed for fighting against them. Just as the Deputy made a choice to arrest Joseph, Joseph made the choice to react in the worst way possible with the Reaping. Eden’s Gate were the aggressors who were kidnapping, torturing, and murdering people throughout the county. The Deputy fights against Eden’s Gate as a direct result of *Eden's Gate's* actions. The Deputy deserves no blame or guilt for killing the Seeds and destroying their bases of operations, as they reacted in a logical way based on the quality of information they had at the time.
In New Dawn, the Deputy expresses an extreme amount of guilt, which transforms them into the Judge. This guilt is misplaced and should be attributed to the other resident of the bunker, which is something Joseph himself even alludes to during his final speech in New Dawn when he criticizes his own actions. If Eden’s Gate did not start attacking the people of Hope County, the bunkers would still be standing, and the Seeds and many other cultists would still be alive. But they did, so they’re not.
While I adore all four of the Seeds as characters and have varying degrees of sympathy for them, they are firmly villains within the context of the story due to their actions. The deputy is not a bad guy for trying to stop them. The fact the Seeds sided with a guy who kidnapped and starved a family, then fed the parents' flesh to their children while playing “this little piggy” with the parents’ toes, and then murdered said parents in front of their children should speak for itself.
TL;DR: The deputy’s decision to confront Joseph instead of walking away was the right one.
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cienie-isengardu · 3 years ago
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A bit about Jaster Mereel
Anyone who follows / visits my blog for Mandalorians most likely noticed by now I don’t talk much about Jaster Mereel, even though he is, Legends-wise, an important figure in their history. In general, I’m not a big fan of him or True Mandalorians and for sure I hate how tie-in materials glorified Jaster even though, from my perspective, he didn’t show anything that special in the main source (Jango Fett: Open Seasons).
Anyone may argue how comics is a very limited medium to present everything in great details, that the story was about Jango’s past, so it makes sense that Jaster, Montross and Tor were the supportive characters driving the plot and fulfilling important roles in Jango’s life (a mentor/father, rival/betrayer and enemy). But at the same time, even with limited space, Tor managed to lay two devastating traps (and one by using Jedi as a tool of doom, something that rarely happens, even less for Mandalorians), outmaneuvering both Jaster and Jango at some point in the story and showing good fighting & tactical skills. You don’t need to like him, you may disagree with his philosophy of life, behaviour and etc, but the comics built Tor as someone’s that leaves a strong impression based on his action that we actually could see with our own eyes while Jaster is mainly praised by tie-in materials as a great leader and some sort of reformator (what for me seems to argue with original source a lot) and sometimes, if remembered at all, by other Mandalorians. At the same time, comics didn’t show much Jaster in favorable circuments. I mean, we met him on the run from Death Watch and hiding in field crops that belonged to Fetts, then saving Jango only to almost die in fire and in the end being saved by Jango’s quick thinking. With the help of orphaned boy, he scored one victory on Concord Dawn then timeskip happened (sadly omitting the years of raising Jango) and finally Jaster led his men straight into trap, got betrayed by his own man and was killed on Korda VI. Understandable, Tor and Jaster played different roles thus comics made Vizsla the “active” character while Mereel was more “passive”. 
And you know what? Even with my despiste for the biased source materials that treat Jaster as some epic character while demonizing Tor and tons of personal jokes about Jaster / True Mandalorians shared with my close friend and fellow Tor fan (and god knows, we joke about them as much as we joke about Jedi), I do think that Jaster Mereel has a great potential as character and it is a true shame his story is not exploited beyond few basic informations. I mean, a former Journeyman Protector (a man of law) joining Mandalorian Mercenaries that kill for money / personal ambitions on right and left? The term a “reformed murderer” sounds intriguing on its own and there is the whole conflict with Tor Vizsla, the uneasy(?) relationship with Montross and family bond with Jango to explore.
And the sad thing about Jaster Mereel is how, despite the cult of True Mandalorians, he is almost forgotten. I know, hoping for New Canon to bring Legends Mandalorians to life is too much to ask when Jango Fett (and Boba) is barely recognised as Mandalorian in the first place but there is some irony that right now the true Mandalorians are tightly tied to Death Watch and TCW additional materials at least mentioned that Pre’s relatives / clan members were warriors of Death Watch and there was Bounty Hunter Code with Tor Vizsla’s Manifesto.So, Tor’s existence is/was to some degree confirmed even despite the drastic changes that happened to Mandalorian lore thanks to The Clone Wars & Disney.
And yeah, BHC did mention Jaster Mereel and True Mandalorians but in all fairness? The Bounty Hunter Code was so great but wasted opportunity to flesh out Jaster, who had/lead a company actually called “HeadHunter”on Korda VI
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which may suggest Mereel’s True Mandalorians also took more typical bounty hunter jobs (and seeing how both Jango and Montross went into business, it seems logical to assume they both already had some experience in this field). This in turn could nicely connect Jango’s past to the career of Bounty Hunter, as in a way to explore the time he spent with Jaster Mereel, what he learned from his mentor/father figure and would absolutely make sense for Jango to pass the book/notes to young Boba. Especially since he wanted a clone for himself to pass the Jaster’s Legacy.
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I understand that the Death Watch’s Manifesto was a means to connect the old lore with changes made by TCW. Even as a non-objective source, it has its own value but frankly, including it into stricte book about bounty hunters feels a bit off. Jaster’s own notes could give the fans the same information about Mandalorian history and even about the conflict between Death Watch and New Mandalorians, as a third (less involved?) party and it would make sense for Jango to have it in the first place (as a memento because Jango was sentimental enough to keep Jaster’s stuff years after his death) and pass it to Boba who from the start was meant to carry on Jaster’s Legacy.
And yeah, sure, it was possible for Jango to get hold of a top secret Death Watch book and pass it to Boba “to know your enemy”, but I personally think that Jaster’s notes would carry more emotional impulse. And well, I’m curious about Jaster’s mindset. And I’m saying that as a fan of Tor Vizsla because frankly, the manifesto doesn’t sound much like him (or at least the impression of him built for me by comics) and even Jango shares similar doubts about the authenticity of the author. So yeah, in regard to this one source, I would rather have Jaster’s POV than one dictated for TCW for Tor.
The other wasted opportunity happened in the latest Marvel comics (what is the real reason for the rant). You know, the War of the Bounty Hunters - in one of the issues, Boba had a sidequest and worked under the name of Jango. 
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And I know this was supposed to be an emotional scene, a son using father’s name and canon remembering about elder Fett and so on. But the only thing I felt at that moment was how Jaster Mereel felt from grace and how it was easy to make a callback to all the older Legends sources (retcon?) of both Jango and Boba using Jaster Mereel’s name while working undercover. As you know, keeping the memory of a man supposed to mean so much to Jango and Mandalorian history - and by that allowing Boba to fulfil his own father’s desire. 
Yeah, I know, I wish too much and hope is overrated anyway. It is just bizarre how the perception of Mandalorian lore changed in the last 20 years.
I never thought there would come a day to say this, but Jaster Mereel deserves better than being some idealized symbol or obscure character forgotten at every turn. 
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felidlycanthrope · 4 years ago
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Bandages
zuko x reader
fluffy bliss w maybe a teeny bit of angst if you squint
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The battle raged on for far longer than any of us were used to. I felt like Zuko and I moved like a finely tuned machine-bursts of fire and water flew as enemy soldiers surged from the wings.
It seemed like hours until the battle was won and we were finally able to trudge home (or at least back to the patch of ruined Western Air Temple that we set up camp at).
“I’ve never been so tired in my entire life,” Aang groaned as he sunk to the ground. He curled up in a ball as Katara gathered a few logs and sticks from the pile we’d accumulated in the corner beside my all but abandoned tent.
“At least we know that village is safe for now,” Katara sighed, “they won’t have to worry about their rations mysteriously vanishing
After a while, the silence became mind-numbingly painful. Katara was the one to break it in typical Katara fashion: “It’s been a long day, we should all catch some sleep while we can.”
“Who am I to argue with that?” I laughed half-heartedly. I looked over to see Zuko pretty much falling asleep beside me with his empty bowl still in his hands. I stood on aching muscles and turned to face him. I brushed a strand of hair from his face, jolting him awake. “Sorry- it’s just..you should get to your tent. It’s not safe to sit by the fire like this.” I held my hands in front of me in offering.
He grunted in agreement, taking my hands with what little energy he seemed to have left. I halfheartedly pulled him to his feet, lacing my fingers with his. We said our goodnights to the remaining members of the group and retreated to the corner of the temple we’d claimed as our home.
It wasn’t until Zuko lit the lantern near his tent that I noticed a small patch of blood that had seeped through his shirt. “You’re hurt, you idiot,” I hissed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugged nonchalantly, obviously trying (and failing) to hide the pain that the movement seemed to cause.
“I’ll go get Katara, she can heal some of the deeper ones real quick before they all-“
“No!” His voice pierced the quiet of the night. “I mean, no thank you. I don’t want her to…I don’t want to be…I’m fine, I promise.” He tried to lift the flap of his tent, but paused for a moment as he doubled over, clutching his right shoulder.
“At least let me try to bandage some of them,” I pleaded, “so they don’t get infected. I know for a fact that you haven’t washed this sleeping bag since last week.”
He paused for a moment, trying to hide the rolling of his eyes. He sighed and replied, “fine. Do whatever.”
He tried to shrug his shirt off with a wincing groan. I pulled it back the rest of the way when his arms slumped to his sides, brushing against my thigh in front of him. I discarded it to the side as I examined the damage. Scrapes and bruises littered his torso and arms, but it wasn’t until he turned around that I saw a painfully large burn covering his right shoulder blade.
“There’s a little jar in my pack,” he mumbled as he laid down on his sleeping bag. He shuffled around for a moment before decidedly shoving his face into the pillow.
I stood up from my position kneeling on the edge of his sleeping bag to oblige. A sea of clothes and trinkets covered my prize- a tiny red clay pot, wrapped carefully in sinew-y ropes and tied with an impossibly neat little bow. It even seemed as if it were polished; its surface was much more smooth than any handmade pottery I’d seen before.
“A little bit should do,” he muttered, his voice muffled by the pillow. “Aloe and clay from the swamplands outside the palace. Uncle made it.”
“It definitely smells like it’s effective.” The moment I opened it the smell of eucalyptus and mint burned my nose. I grabbed the bandage that was tucked beside it, and shuffled back toward him. I settled beside his body, sitting cross legged. I uncapped the vial again, scooping a small amount onto my fingers and gently brushing it onto the bloodied surface.
He groaned, clutching the pillow. “Guess I forgot how much it stings.”
It broke my heart to see him in such pain, especially knowing it was probably because he was concerned with protecting me. I also knew he would never admit it.
A silence washed over us as I continued to clean and dress his wounds. The lantern was barely flickering by the time I finished maneuvering a very fragile battlefield. “You know you don’t have to hide this kind of thing,” I scolded him. I patted his less bandaged shoulder, motioning for him to sit up. “You’re all patched up. You’re welcome, by the way.”
He fiddled with his thumb for a moment before responding. “Thank you,” he mumbled.
“You’re actually welcome,” I emphasized. “We’re a family here, we take care of each other. If you’re hurt we’re not going to exploit it and add to your emotional trauma, or whatever it is that Azula does with papercuts.”
He let out a small chuckle before flicking a hand toward the lantern. The flame responded with a fervent uptick before settling at an enthusiastic pulse. Shadows danced on the walls of the tent past the darkness of the night, painting a portrait of the awkward silence that enveloped the room.
“You should get some rest,” I said, trying to break the silence, “it’ll help you heal faster, or something. I think. I’m not really sure, Katara usually makes the healing recommendations around here.”
I started to stand before a hand around my wrist stopped me in my tracks.
“Stay, please,” he said. “I don’t know what happened the other night but…it helped a bit. Or something.”
I couldn’t help but let a smile creep across my face as I settled down beside him. He lifted the covers as I shuffled closer to the warmth of his body. His head hit the pillow with a satisfying thud. He tried to hide a wince, but failed absolutely miserably. The pain crept across his face, contorting his features.
“You’ve gotta be more careful, you idiot,” I scolded him. “Just.. scoot over a little bit more. Carefully.”
He obliged with a pained chuckle. He settled back into his position, staring at the ceiling before letting his eyes drift shut.
The cold assaulted me through the thin fabric of the tent. A shiver ran through my body; I could feel Zuko’s side eye after a few blasts of wind filtered through the flap of the tent.
He turned onto his side- this time without so much as a twitch of the eye. “Come here. I don’t get cold easy. Should be warmer.”
“No, no it’s fine,” I assured him, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or-“
“It’s not uncomfortable, promise,” he replied.
I wasn’t one to turn down a human fireplace- I obliged with cautious enthusiasm. I laced my fingers with his right by his side, pressing my chest flush with his side and wrapping my other arm over his waist. I maneuvered my hand over a battlefield of cuts and scrapes before settling over his other hip.
It wasn’t long before his quiet snores overwhelmed the croaking badgerfrogs and chirping cricketmoths. And it was even less time before his steady heartbeat and admittedly gloriously warm bedmate.
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crimsonfluidessence · 3 years ago
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Prompt 21: Feckless
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Content Warning: Torture, Intense Psychological Warfare, Body Harm, Physical and Emotional Abuse It was just supposed to be getting his money back. That was all he wanted out of the woman. But oh, how quickly it had turned to seeing some of the purest forms of red Esredes was capable of seeing. Being pickpocketed in Ul'dah was to be expected to happen eventually- inconvenient that it occurred while he was trying to get supplies for his family, but just a detour to follow the woman into a more secluded space and request his money back. No big deal. He had his ability to cloak himself with an illusion, and so she didn't see him following her down past that door behind the Miner's guild and into an alley. He watched her begin to count his money with a smile on her face and a whisper of "Oh, yes." Just a common pickpocket. No need to escalate anything. "All right, little lady." He began, the illusion still disguising him, causing the woman to freeze and look around trying to locate his voice. Just to make it worse, he began pacing all around to make it more confusing as he spoke next. "Cute. Real cute little move you pulled back there, but I have places to be and so do you, no? Just give it back without trying anything and I'll leave. I'd rather not have anything unpleasant happen today now." "Who are you and what little move?" The woman hissed and tightened her hold on his gil pouch. "Don't play dumb with me, ma'am. Give me my gil back, please. Just toss it out in front of you." "This? Mine from the start," she retorted as she closed it up and put it away, then dashed past him and tried to run away. Esredes raised his hand up and fired a pink beam at the retreating woman's head without a second thought. The woman cursed sharply and she doubled back as her balance faltered, sliding a dagger out of her pocket to slash at the air. "What the hell are you?" With ease, Esredes moved behind her and rammed his sword handle into her upper back. She grunted and stumbled forward, then fell to the ground, the dagger clattering on the stone a good two feet away. She didn't get much time to struggle to get up before he knelt down and pinned her body under his legs, his sword arm securing her at the back as well. "For fuck's sake, Priya." The woman muttered under her breath as she found herself trapped. "Someone who wanted to mind his own fucking business and ask you nicely not to waste our time." Esredes finally answered her question as he retrieved the gil pouch from her pocket. The woman tried to fight back under his weight, but she was getting nowhere. She lashed a hand out to bat him away from her pocket, but Esredes lengthened his hand to form claws and slashed at it, and she tucked it back inside herself as he pushed down more with his sword. "You know, is it not a rule of thievery to fold it when you've bitten off more than you could chew? You'd do best to learn it." "As if you'd know," she spat out. "Leave me alone; it isn't like you'd need any of it!" "I was completely content to leave you alone before you pickpocketed me, thank you very much. And you don't know anything about me, little lady, so fuck off with that. You're not giving me any incentive to not report you right about now- what did you call yourself? Priya? Pretty name for a vicious little rat," Esredes remarked. "If you've eyes, this city doesn' do handouts." Esredes paused, her reply passing him over. Priya... why did the woman's name sound faintly familiar? Enough to bug him even through his tendency to forget names? It had to mean something, be from somewhere, but he didn't know a lot of people from Ul'dah... But someone he had interacted with a lot recently did, and... Esredes' eyes widened. Yes, it had been Elouan who mentioned that name to him during their most recent therapy session. The name of an ex of his who had beaten him for not making her enough money. Just a common pickpocket. Now she was also the woman who hurt his sunflower. "...Say, you must do this a lot, hm? Trying to get your way into money by any scummy means possible? Do you remember Elouan?" Priya froze at Elouan's name, but soon shifted into a smile that did not ease Esredes in the slightest. "Elouan? Dumber than a rock? What, isn't he dead?" "My gods," Esredes said. So it was true. This was the same woman and not a coincidence. The black heart in his chest pulsed hard, and dark, inky matter quickly spread through his insides. He moved his sword hand up and hit her on the side of the head with its handle. "I thought you were a simple thief, but no, you truly are a disgusting little parasite under there, aren't you? Shut the fuck up about handouts, I know what this city is, but you don't deserve them even if they existed. I show no sympathy towards an exploitative and manipulative abusive little monster like you. Oh, today is not going to be your day, little monster lady." He never did change his other hand back down- in its full display of rough and leathery skin she couldn't see, he wrapped it around her throat and pressed lightly. "Have you any idea how much you have to answer for?" Priya let out a soft noise and struggled much more aggressively now, clawing at the leathery hand with her own. "Hh--Answer? I'm answering to nothing. Call me what you want, I don't care. If you're calling me a monster, what're you?" With no eyes to find, she couldn't make eye contact, but she still shot quite the devilish look. "So he isn't dead, is he? Such a shame; I thought the 'yotes outside of Ul'Dah got him! It wasn't like he was worth much with the bets..." The inky matter only kept spreading. "He's worth far more than your pathetic, greedy little ass will ever be. But you wouldn't know anything about the worth of people because all they are to you is an ends for money, hmm?" He drew a line of blood across her throat. "I should fucking kill you. No one would be around to even notice your corpse or look for you, would they, hmm?" The woman laughed, even despite the pain. "You should? What's stopping--? No, who's stopping you? Elouan? That dumbass? Have you ever seen him come back from a loss down there? Do you know what it's like to not have any gil? Anything?" She spat at him and continued trying to fight, but his grip remained iron. "Shut the fuck up." Esredes ran his blade lightly across her forehead. She moved her hands to the ground and tried propelling herself up, but she couldn't even upset his balance. "To answer your question? Yes, I do. That's no fucking excuse to beat a man up who is willing to mutilate himself and risk his life for a woman who doesn't even consider him above maggots. He loved you because he didn't know better, didn't want to accept the evils of people, and you felt nothing." Her body tensed up and her eyes became even more hostile. "You don't have anything, no, a heart or any redeeming qualities included. You're a street rat who deserves to writhe in filth, because no part of you deserves even a single piece of gil! And to answer your other question?" He decided now was time to flicker back into existence before her eyes, his pupils compressed to slivers and sharp teeth grinning as he leaned in close to her face. "Well, if no one will find the body, I suppose nothing at all is stopping me, hm?" "He wasn't worth it. You're all talk and you still hesitate," she snickered at him. "You're still hesitating because of him, aren't you? Because you're just as weak. He wasn't fit to live long, y'know. Probably still isn't, too." "Oh, I'm not hesitating because I'm weak," Esredes smiled and pressed back hard against her struggle attempt with his sword and body, leaning even further in. "I'm hesitating because you're not getting off that easy after all you've done." He pressed harder on her throat and dug his thumb claw into it harder. "We're only getting started here. No one has made you answer for what you've done to him, and I am so glad we could meet for the occasion, unexpected as it is. Tell me, do you think you look good in red?" There was barely the shape of a creature below him by this point, just red. He ran his claws down her face, he ran his blade down both of her arms, he slapped her, all while taunting her about what a pathetic creature she was. "Get OFF," she soon shouted. "Oh, I'm sorry, you want me off?" His eyes widened for her. "Did you listen when Elouan asked you that, hmm?! Did you stop hitting him for things that were your fucking fault?!" She bit her lip and clenched her fists, shaking. "My fault? Who was the one that lost bets? Who was the one that just had to stop because it was 'too much'? Me? No; it was him!" There was venom in her words, and a lot of it. "One hit wasn't enough for him and you know that, don't you? You have to keep drilling it into his fuckin' head. He couldn't even find his way to the aetheryte even if he was fifteen fulms from the thing!" Esredes almost couldn't believe the things coming out of this rodent's mouth. "You're fucking disgusting. And wrong, on top of that." He hit her with his sword handle again. "No, your problem is that you're an impatient, selfish little aggressive piece of shit. If you actually had an ounce of patience and kindness that wasn't faked to all hell, you'd know the man can listen and learn quite fine if you explain it to him well enough. But you're not capable of that because you're not smart enough for such things and you don't actually bother to learn a thing about how people actually work. Maybe if you had the consideration outside of yourself for it, you wouldn't be stuck here pickpocketing people like a street rat, hm? People don't bend over for vicious worthless scheming selfish lowlives like yourself. You will never get anywhere in life. You cry so fucking much about how you have nothing, but in all your years of exploiting and robbing people, you still have absolutely nothing. I don't think you have anyone to blame but yourself at that point. You will die filthy, worthless, and alone, and no one is going to miss the dirt on the side of the street. Now, how many hits will it take for you to get it into your head, hm?" He punched her once. Twice. Three times. Four times. The last punch managed to make her wheeze, and she shut her eyes. "When is ever enough for you?!" "...enough," she said at last. "Enough!" His fist was raised for another blow, but he grinned at hearing the word out of her. "Ah. She did it. She is capable of having enough." He laughed for a solid few seconds. "For the first time in your life, something is enough. How does it feel, hm?" She wrinkled her nose, and tried to muster one last kick, but couldn't even. She said nothing, reaching up to try and pull his hand off her with trembling hands. Esredes took her hand and held it up by the wrist, staring at it. "Look at it. So weak, so small, so pathetic. If you'd held on to someone like Elouan and actually loved him, he'd protect you from something like this, you know. As is, you're not strong enough to protect or help yourself alone. And you never will be. You're a cold, vulnerable little lady in a harsh world, and your only response is to make it so your own existence has no justification for itself."
He wasn't done. He wasn't anywhere near done yet. He kept on going, tearing into her with more wounds. He even took his little pair of scissors he used to cut his emergency supply of gauze and cut away at her hair.  She kept helplessly trying to fight back, kept trying to scream at him to stop or go away. "I'm not going anywhere yet, little lady." He eventually said, grinning as he ran a clawed finger down her face. It was gentle enough not to draw blood, and she shivered under it. "Because I am your nightmare, I am the harbinger that comes for naughty little ladies who need to be a taught a lesson about the cruelty of their own heart." He then slapped her again, and continued cutting her hair. "You want to be a cruel and heartless beast to people who don't deserve it? Well, tell me, is it worth it? Is it worth it to sit here trapped in a reflection of your own cruelty and be content to bleed out in the darkness?" "Why should I talk about worth with you?" The venom and bite of her words had gone; she no longer had the energy for it, it seemed. It wasn’t long before she even started producing tears in her eyes. "Aww," Esredes said in a low, mocking voice. "Does the beast want to cry now? Cry like you made Elouan do countless times? It didn't mean a damn thing to you. Your tears are nothing to me." “I don’t care,” she said in a low and rough voice. "Don't care about you 'n what you say." "Then why are you crying?" "I'm not crying." Tears were treading down her cheeks. "Lady, look at your own goddamn face. You can't even hold it in. Is this too much for the poor little snake to handle, hmm? You're breaking this easily? And to think, Elouan survived multiple beatings from you, and you can't even handle this. Who's supposed to be the weak one again?" "Just shut up!" She croaked in a broken voice. "Shut up! This is pointless! Leave me alone. You've got what you wanted. You've gotten more than what you wanted already," even when she shut her eyes, the tears did not stop. "This is not enough." Venom dripped into his voice. "This is nothing to what you did to him. You can wish for it to stop all you want, but that never helped him, and it's not going to help you, either. Cry all you want, it only makes this all the sweeter. You get everything that you deserve." "He's just another pet of the sands, don't you see?“ The woman said through her shaky voice. "I thought I'd be better with more than what the trade offered. I couldn't start off without--without that." "And? And? That gives you free reign to crush his heart and body for not doing every little thing perfectly for you? When this man was willing to give you all of his love and torment himself far too much for you? You know, pickpocketing a man with a voice like mine? Fair enough, I know what city I walked into. But that? That as your excuse to be cruel in pursuit of money? No. No. Here, little lady. Answer me one little thing. Do you do all of this alone, in the true sense? Do you ever have a person to your name who isn't a tool you discard?" She finally opened her eyes again, staring at her hair on the ground. "Alone? Why'd I do it with anyone else? We're all just tools for anyone else to use--you either climb the ladder or get stuck in the lion's den. He was--he was too fuckin' much! His whining, his talking, his forgetfulness. All I wanted was gil for myself 'n business. Not the thing behind it." It wasn’t every day Esredes held true evil in his hands, trapped in his talons like a snake to an eagle. But hearing her twisted explanation only further caused his heart to rage in hatred. "Good. Fucking. Lord." He said. "People like you are the kind I despise the most. Your entire philosophy is so fucking stupid at its core, and all of you claim it's the most intelligent thing ever. I'll tell you a little story. I too have had absolutely nothing at multiple points in my life." On he went snipping her hair as he talked. "Do you know how you get away from having absolutely nothing? Yes, you have to have sharp skills of self reliance and the ability to climb out yourself, but you can only get so far on your own. You need, and I mean truly need, other people in order to truly build yourself up past a certain point. This is why types like you either never make it or end up dead eventually when someone else brings you down. You only make your own life harder by approaching people so selfishly without anything to add to it. People will see right through you, they'll tear you apart without sympathy or mercy, because you don't offer anything to last with people beyond the short term. If you don't blow everything in the short term with other people, and they aren't people like you, you get rewarded for being good to them. People are more willing to help you out of bad situations without you needing to do a thing because they remember when you were there for them, therefore becoming much more viable and sustainable than a one time deal you blow and suffer the consequences. You really think the world is going to bend to your greedy little will because you want money? No. It won't. It doesn't fucking care, and you know this. Lady, I don't know why I have to be the one telling you this with how smart you think you are, but here's a simple lesson on how people work. People talk. People complain. People forget things. People are not perfect little devices for you to drain gil out of, they are incomplete and flawed things trying their best. And people aren't very useful if you can't follow the basic law of economics and make a fair trade. You'd think growing up here, you'd understand this. Now, my point is, I was alone with nothing. And now? I have enough that you don't want to know the number of people who fear me, little lady. I didn't get this way by draining gil out of people like a vampire. I had to give something of myself, I had to sacrifice, I had to bleed for other people first, but people don't forget what you do for them, or to them. Each person you meet is a powerful weapon in their own right, a valuable resource beyond just money they make. And only a fool would discard such power. You're just a weak, stupid little thief who will never make it because you don't even understand what it takes to get out of your situation. You'll forever be in the den because you fall off the ladder every single time. There is a place to be vicious, there is a place to be kind. But you wouldn't know the difference if it held you down and punched you repeatedly in the face. I truly hope you never make it in life. The world doesn't need more people like you. Your kind can only drain the world of its resources and make it a worse place, all while declaring that the world is the evil one. Well have you ever fucking thought of being something that isn't so deserving of the world's evils? Because here you are now, bleeding out and crying, while Elouan is somewhere safe, having escaped, and is much happier because he's with people who appreciate his kindness for what it is. You have nothing for others to see. No one will ever lift you up off of here, because you'll never, ever deserve it." The woman laid there and absorbed his verbal blows, still too weak to fight back in any way. Tears still streamed down her face. "So what if I don't deserve it? I don't care. I don't care, I don't want to care, I just--" "You just what, lady? What is it? What is it you want to scream out right about now?" Priya gritted her teeth and out came a strangled cry. "--I don't want to be here. I don't want people around me or in m'life. I don't want anyone close to me! I don't want to be hurt like I've hurt them. I just want to be.  Be dead? Fuckin' fine, do it already!“ "Is that seriously all you want from life? To be alone with money?" "What else? Money can't hurt me like they could." "Wow." Esredes said. "Just wow. You know, popular sayings exist for a reason. People who are alone with money are some of the people most likely to drink themselves or take drugs into dying. I grew up in Ishgard. Everyone in the noble circle has money and guess what? We're all still fucking miserable and want to die, broken empty shells of people. People still treat you like trash and shit no matter how nice you look and how perfectly polite your tone is. You still die empty and unfulfilled and ultimately meaningless. ...But you know this in some capacity, don't you?" He leaned down close to her face again, and she shut her eyes. "Is it not just because you want this to stop that you keep trying to taunt me into ending you, hmm? Are you sick enough of festering in your own shallow existence that you want to just spare the world the burden of you?" “You already know the answer, don’t you? I’ve got nothin’ to my name or kin! Why keep me around if that’s all I have, aye?” "Exactly. There's no reason at all." He smiled. "If I gave you your dagger back, would you be able to do it, hmm?" Priya kept sniffling. She opened her eyes and they landed on her dagger, past the scraps of her hair. "It'd be the one good thing you ever do in your life." He continued on. "You'd finally give back to the world, as your corpse decays and the nutrients can be absorbed to go to things more deserving of them..." “Stop talking,” she mumbled yet again. But Esredes only grinned. "Just think about it. No more waking up in pursuit of your empty desires. No more pickpocketing and feeding on scraps. Just the sweet embrace of nothing washing over you, finally an end to all the suffering. You won't be weak anymore. You won't have to feed for more, and more, and more... you will finally have enough." “I said stop.” "You'll never make it. So why keep trying? You're not smart enough to make it, you're not clever enough. You don't have what it takes. All you'll ever do is prolong your own agony, stuck in the same cycle, over and over and over... is that really a worthwhile existence?" “Stop it! Stop talking! I’ve enough of this and, gods, just stop.” The woman managed to shout, but it so quickly became shaky, weak, and small once more. "You keep telling me to stop because you know I'm right. You just don't want to admit it." He took the final strands of her hair and positioned the scissors around them. "One moment, you're here, writhing in your own filth, and the next..." Snip. She hissed. "Release. Catharsis. Nothing." He held the hair out to her to look at. "See, you have a golden opportunity. No one cares about you. No one will notice if you die. You have no burdens tying you down to this earthy plane, you can release yourself like a balloon and fly. Wouldn't that be so wonderful, to see the sky...?" “I won’t see shite,” she retorted with certainty, stretching her arm to try and reach the dagger, only for Esredes to move it further away with a rock. "Alas," he said. "If you do it later, I won't stop you- but for right now, it's not time yet.” He threw the hair to scatter about the tunnel. “All this talk for not yet? Bullshite!” "You're not deserving of a quick death, dearest. No one with a heart as cold and empty as yours is." It would still be some time before he finally let her go. Tied up and unable to escape the tunnel with that pouch of opioids on her- a perfect trapped creature for the local authorities of Ul’dah to pick up. It was not enough. He couldn’t make it enough no matter how little he held back, and he knew it. Nothing would make up for what she did to his beloved Elouan. He would never completely understand the local parasites of the world that pretended to be human like her. Why were they all so content to live a destructive life focused only on themselves? Were they so wrapped up in themselves they couldn’t notice how boring they were, how little and shallow of an existence it was? They would go on, intimidating or charming those around them to feed their selfish empire- but at their core, they were weak nothings, and Esredes saw them for what they were. “Sorry, it was very crowded at the market today. I couldn’t get everything.” Esredes said to his parents later. “I’ll get it all in the morning before I leave. It should be much easier to navigate…” ——— @shieldbcund Priya, Elouan
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hysteriamodes · 3 years ago
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Alucard thoughts (spoilers for Castlevania S4)
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So to preface, I have a sinking suspicion that Alucard was a very solitary little boy and that perhaps his parents kept him close and were very over-protective of him. To me, that would make sense if that were the case; a dhamphir/vampire hybrid would be a rare occurrence in this world and we do have unofficial confirmation of that when Carmilla brought up the fact that Dracula never turned Lisa and they had a son together.
I’m sure not even Dracula would know what they were getting into having Alucard and then Dracula had to teach his son how to hone in on his vampiric side to keep it stable. So, it’s not to say Alucard doesn’t have people skills, he clearly does. I’m only mentioning this because--
-- I’ve seen others make a comment how Taka and Sumi’s betrayal didn’t make much of an impact on Alucard’s development. And I strongly disagree -- it did. 
Alucard does take after his father quite a bit.
- He’s analytical and meticulous, very thoughtful in what he does, like his father. - I’ve noticed that Alucard’s candor when he talks he’s exceptionally soft-spoken like him as well. But he’s not above swearing or making smarry comments. - He is also very dangerous like his father but that’s not a character trait. We’ve seen if he’s hurt enough, he’ll turn to what he knows scared people away (i.e. impaled corpses) but that also shows that, at one point, Dracula had to have discussed his human life with his son and what profound affect that had on him. No one’s going to know how that panned out, but this is in reference to “Lament of Innocence”. - Obviously Alucard is very intelligent, like his father, he’s very educated, so he has a passion to learn like his father. He even makes the comment to Sypha and Trevor how much his father enjoyed learning and lamented how much of a waste it was to see his father turn the way he did instead of using his knowledge to help people. But over all, I’d say Alucard strongly takes after his mother more than his father. He is another facet in Dracula’s long life to remind him of Lisa’s humanity, possibly to the point when his son tried to reason with him that he was so disgusted and hurt that he injured his son. Alucard has a strong sense of compassion and sympathy for others, so much like his mother, and he clearly tends to follow more in her footsteps than his father. 
So, not only did he act out of loneliness when Taka and Sumi asked for his help, he was taking after his mother in doing so. The games go the same direction, Alucard does what he does because of his mother and how much of weight she has on him. But this is going back to how Alucard was brought up, that he was sheltered, in some sense, his parents very protective of him, so I think a lot of naiveté was involved when he crossed Taka and Sumi. They spoke to not only that depression and loneliness, but they also spoke to how his mother was a constant reminder of good in the world.
He did want company, but he also wanted to continue his mother’s good will and helping others. So, he didn’t understand the implications of their desperation and didn’t see their betrayal coming. In my opinion, not only did these two exploit that, but they also coerced him into sex. I though that not only Hector’s sexual intimacy with Lenore was uncomfortable, but I thought Alucard’s was especially so, like his heart wasn’t in it. It’s not to say that it was dubious consent, but they used it as means to break him down and killed them.
So, when they betrayed them, he is so devastated, he goes back to where his father died and curls up to the remainder of his father, because you know at one point, Dracula was always emphasizing caution, vigilance, and that not everyone can be trusted, the opposite of what his mother taught him. He went to the closest source to what he knew best as means of strength and how to handle with being betrayed. His mother likely never experienced as much betrayal and cruelty as much as his father did. And, well, he doesn’t have physical connections to his mother’s remains.
We see Alucard shift further into his depression as season 4 comes up. You see a few more bodies outside of the castle but I highly doubt that Alucard did this to random people without provocation. But more importantly, he just looks absolutely disheveled.
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He’s unkempt, filthy, and looks worse for wear. We know he has guilt in doing what he’s done but also the affects of Taka and Sumi’s betrayal made him feel so awful that he let himself go to a complete, literal mess. Before then, Alucard was a clean, well-kempt man. Alucard stopped taking care of himself because what was the point if they were seeing him as someone to be used (not feared, even) for his knowledge and home. The bodies outside were used to ward people away, but even Dracula managed to stay clean and well-kempt, not like his son.
I think this touches the depths of Alucard’s shatter of self-confidence and how lowly he thought of himself after being used by Taki and Sumi. He would have shoved himself further into that pit, but the note and the man that died along the way was a nudge into the right direction. It spoke to his good nature and gave him purpose once more. Innocent people that were 20 miles away that desperately need his help.
Not like people approaching him in the one place he felt secure, a metaphorical invasion of his personal space. Again.
So it makes sense that he felt more secure going out to assist people and once how he saw families being tormented after losing his family, he couldn’t sulk in the castle. He wouldn’t sulk in the castle, because that’s not him. He’s not his father, he can’t do what he did, because ultimately, he’s more like his mother and his mother’s virtues are stronger in him. He is the literal antithesis of his father, he is his mother’s son.
I feel that Alucard always wanted an interaction with the outside world and he certainly had that with the refugees he helped. He played with the children, he happily gave them food, and he was doing what his mother did and you know that’s what he wanted to do in the end: Do what his mother did and used his father’s knowledge for good, like she did.  I feel like in the end, Alucard’s quiet inner grief from season one where he shut down from the world (not only just to heal his wounds) after his mother’s awful death, he was coaxed to open up and find a sense of community and love that he wouldn’t have had and had to limited degree after his mother’s death.
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He didn’t see himself worthy of it, not only on the account of his father’s blood, but what he did in reaction to being betrayed. I’m not going to say Alucard’s reaction was completely awful: what Taka and Sumi did was wrong and it hurt him more than he let on and more than what’s seen on a surface level. But not only that, Sypha and Trevor had such an impact on him as well, reminding him of his mother’s good deeds that was easy for him to feel comfortable in his skin again, or perhaps, the most he’s ever felt comfortable as his own person ever did.
From a man that was so deeply traumatized, hurt, alone, and exploited from the very first episode (you know Dracula would have used his son as a tool in his revenge if Taka and Sumi didn’t use him) to a man that’s finally found purpose and it’s the best way he can coumarate not only his father, but especially his mother.
And maybe that’s why he looks “weirdly happy”, the poor man has been limited so much in his life. So in retrospect, his development makes sense. He didn’t necessarily transform -- he found himself again and he found an even better part of himself he never knew he had. People like him for what he is: witty, compassionate, intelligent, and sympathetic. 
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something-very-special · 3 years ago
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they ran over the seals
More Replicant playthrough observations and general nonsense under the cut. For reference, up to the keystone quest; completed the Forest of Myth and Junk Heap.
This fucking game I swear to god.
A vaguely coherent ramble about sidequests An observation about sidequests in general in this game -- and I don't recall if I ever voiced this somewhere public or it was just a personal observation from my time with the original -- is that the quests in the first half of the game are all relatively easy to complete. There's that one asshat who wants 10 goat hides, but other than him, most of the sidequests are either very much based on finding characters, or gathering a sensible number of items that are either relatively common, purchasable, or given a guaranteed spawn for the duration of that quest.
The sidequests everybody remembers having to do are in the second half, where everybody is demanding and awful and I'm sorry ten MACHINE OILS do you know how goddamn rare those are? They're goddamn rare.
(We'll not discuss Life in the Sands.)
This is generally agreed to, in the technical vernacular, 'suck'. And it's always funny that the most interesting sidequests are the ones with very minimal requirements (Yonah's cooking, getting Popola drunk, the Lighthouse Ladoh my god everything's gone blurry I'm not crying you're crying who am I kidding we're both crying). That particular aspect of the design also feels intentional, not really gating your ability to progress the really meaningful or funny sidequests behind an unreasonable number of rare items. The other aspect of the design is that these quests are not meant to be completed in a single playthrough; most of them are single-stage and just absolutely unreasonable, but if you're going through the game four times you have a... reasonable chance of getting everything you need more or less naturally.
Nobody does that but I think that was the intended design. I think it's a good idea, although the execution of expectation is flawed so I don't really blame people for saying those sidequests suck. (Although I will in turn blame people for saying the sidequests suck as a blanket statement. Yeah getting that guy who burned his kitchen down a billion Broken Motors is aggravating but did you not find that old man's dog? Speak to Ursula on her death bed? Solve a murder? Then again I think tracking down that rotten son who's trying to get away from The Family Business only to learn his father is a con-artist and get literally no reward is the height of comedy so maybe I'm not the greatest point of reference.)
But that asshole in Facade can get bent. I can't exploit my garden properly, jackass! I am no longer a god of time. (I kid, of course.) (This guys sucks even when you can fix your clock.)
Forest of Myth It didn't even occur to me to wonder how they would incorporate the comprehensive voice acting into the Forest of Myth. I like how it plays out, although I wish the voices maybe had a fade as you went deeper into the dream instead of just cutting out at some point, especially for the lines where the characters are being ascribed actions by the narrator that they themselves aren't doing near the start of the Deathdream. But it's just delightful to go back to it. The second half of the game really sticks in your mind both for emotional reasons and because you play it at least three times per full playthrough of the game, but the first half is just so much fun.
Protip: Talk to everybody after you've finished the dream sidequest. Weiss tries to dissuade you. Don't let him dissuade you. I'm still delighted by the Mayor; "We're building a statue of you, made of solid gold. I know you don't own a horse, but we're going to put you on a horse."
I forgot about Yonah being a disaster chef Papa Nier's reaction to the stew is better. Brother is still funny but Papa Nier just expecting to die is comedy gold.
For anybody curious, the joke about the cakes is that Yonah made 'fruit cake' using some of the worst possible fruits for cake-making. If only she'd thrown a tomato into the mix, too.
Lighthouse Lady Every time. what the fuck is a canal I'm aware of the addition of the new-old content but it didn't occur to me until Popola suddenly starts nattering on about fixing the canal when I'm expecting Yonah to talk about a penpal that oh, yeah, I guess Seafront would have had something going on the first half that would play into the second half? (I assume it does. Be weird to introduce these characters just to have groundwork for an added sidequest. ...but it was a cute sidequest.) But look Popola my boy is supposed to be in the next area I visit could we-- I mean he's on the way could we just-- no-- fiiiiiiiiiine. (It was short and sweet, though, and I appreciate that the couple's love is exemplified by them both calling Weiss a floating magazine in tandem.) On a related note but was I the only person suddenly concerned when the sidequest completion maxed out at 50% and not 51%? I had to double-check with a guide just to make sure, since I've spent the last decade telling people to make sure you hit 51% before going on to Part II.
MY BOY I love that nowadays, Emil is everybody's son. But I really wish I could go find somebody only familiar with Automata and just watch their reaction. (I'm guessing there are streams out there that fulfill this but man I'd love to get it in-person.) If you're only familiar with him from Automata this has to be a mindfuck.
Personal anecdote, but I've had the privilege of playing NIER with somebody else almost every time I've gone through it. I had a wonderful experience of doing a replay some years back with somebody who had experienced it with me before but didn't have the most solid memory of the beginning (and had actually missed the entire weapon's lab the first time through). I get to the boy at the piano introducing himself and the 'Wait, what?' was a thing of beauty.
MY ANDROID This was a welcome mindfuck for me; finding Sebastian and having him 'reactivate' in such an unnatural, mechanical way. I don't recall if it was ever officially confirmed that Sebastian is an android (I know that it's just understood that this is the case but I'm not I can't recall a specific one) but the little flair they added to his animation caught me completely off guard. I liked it!
Destroying the food source A lot of people will cite a major inciting incident for the game as being when the protagonist heading back into the village and killing the child Shades just outside the entrance. This moment is such a great bit of subtle foreshadowing that's so easy to miss... but kind of joining that, just before the Knave of Hearts attacks, I realized that the Shades out on the Northern Plains are clearly ramping up for an assault of their own by murdering the sheep. The sheep population at this point is decimated (which is great when you realize you haven't gotten the Sheepslayer trophy and you're about to enter Part II and you don't know if the boar drifting minigame got carried forward with the inclusion of 15 Nightmares). You go out onto the Plains and you will find not only small clusters of sheep left behind instead of the vast, terrifying herds from the start of the game, but until you get their attention the Shades are prioritizing killing the sheep. (Also annoying because that doesn't count toward my sheep murder number.) The Shades will be out there also killing sheep earlier on, but since the whole map is in Overcast mode after talking to Yonah it's especially prevalent to go out to the Northern Plains and seeing the slaughter. And I realized-- they're cutting the Village off from a primary food source. Shades don't eat and they don't have any beef with the local ungulates (at least, no more so than anybody else does), so why are they hunting down the sheep? To deprive their enemies of resources. Sheep are extinct by the timeskip. It's actually really clever of them, and a really clever indication of their sentience and intelligence before it's fully verified.
"Let's get these shit-hogs!" Everything about the way Kaine and Emil interact across the entire game is perfect I will brook no argument this is objective fact.
Emotive Rectangles I wrote an essay about this before but it really bears repeating that the job the original animators did with this scene is just phenomenal. The way Weiss drifts, flits, flips, fans his pages, drunkenly swerves, shoots around the room in defiance... He's a goddamn rectangle, but there is so much emotion and personality in this scene just based on the movements conveyed through a what is effectively just a box. Ten years later and triple-A titles with full facial capture don't have this much seething personality. I really have to give props to the cavia animators, wherever they wound up. That studio could really put some subtle love and care into their titles, utterly unnecessary and easy to miss but you can tell that whoever was working on it was giving it their all. The books are probably the exemplification of this, but every time I go into Seafront and visit the seals I can tell that the guy on seal duty was having just the best day. They made Emil so pretty There's an FMV cutscene right smack in the middle of the original game after the battle against Noir. I understand why it was a necessity on a technical level, but it always looked pretty out of place and a little uncanny valley compared to the rest of the graphical fidelity. That's no longer a necessity so this cutscene is rendered in-engine. I admit I was actually curious to see it redone this way and it looks fantastic. I single out Emil since he is the focal point of cutscene and because his particular high-poly model had some pretty weird difference from his in-engine model, but he and Kaine both look great. But, like, it's almost mean how pretty he is.
They made Brother Nier so pretty Yeah okay you got me he's kind of hot. Kaine's expression when she wakes up and looks him over is... significantly easier to read now. Good voice, too. (Ancient rumors tell that one of the issues with international releases of RepliCant was that they couldn't find an English VA with a voice that 'fit' Brother Nier. He sounded good out the gate but hearing him growl "Let's go TAKE CARE of those KIDS" during the thief sidequest-- I got chills. It sounds so silly but there's a kind of percolating fury to that delivery. Papa Nier was like frustrated but mostly disappointed dad; I felt like Brother was going to take care of those kids, and nobody was going to find the bodies. Younger Brother Nier just never stops looking goofy to me but Older Brother just looks great in motion, between the alterations they made to the movement and just the entire weaponry system. The distinction between the two halves of the game was always a little odd in the Gestalt version-- not odd enough to really raise eyebrows if you didn't know about RepliCant, but of course you can tell that this age gape between the optimistic doe-eyed dogooder and a man largely ruled by his fury and calloused by tragedy is what the timeskip was going for. Swab me down and call me Ishmael, it works. Younger Brother wasn't quite clicking with me-- not because of any writing or voicework issues, but I've got Papa Nier on the back of my mind and it's impossible not to compare and contrast the delivery and dialogue between the two. I know that this is intentional, too; Younger Brother is supposed to be that happy-go-lucky video game protagonist, always doing the right thing and helping people, in order to contrast against the man he becomes. Even just edging into Part II the effect is dramatic and it recontextualizes Younger Brother into a much more effective overall character. And let me reiterate, I enjoyed my time with Younger Brother just fine, I have no issues with him. But he's up against Well Meaning Big Dummy Part I Papa Nier. No contest. And I'm excited to see where Older Brother goes from here.
Speaking of voices I mentioned this before but the delivery on the character's lines is different. The entire game was re-recorded and quite a few lines are still pretty similar to the original, but there are some that are... definitely different. Part of this is a difference in the relationship between characters based on their life experience and ages-- Weiss is much more of an ass to Younger Brother but has a much more even respect for Older Brother (neither of which are like the rapport he established with Father). Some of Kaine's lines feel more aloof, dismissive, and almost tired in the front half of the game. I haven't really gotten to a point to dig into Emil's rapport with the other characters, but the delivery feels more hesitant and uncertain (which I think is more in line with his Japanese VO, but I'm prefacing that on an untrained ear and a presumption rather than recent memory). It's been interesting to see not just where hey adjusted dialogue (and how-- there are some lines that didn't need to be rewritten), but also how they adjust tone and delivery. Dealing with Younger Brother is one thing, but as I said, I'm very excited to see what's different in the second half, especially being much more familiar with that part of the game. Speaking of Voices! Halua got dialogue! I... preferred when it was inferred (and the implications of "I'll always be watching over you" are borderline malicious given the results of their fusion dance, yeah THANK YOU HALUA this is GREAT). Halua's delivery also felt a little too innocent and upbeat both for the situation and when compared to her narrative voice in The Stone Flower, where she comes across as much more cynical and cold. But given what she's been through and the nightmare she's finally escaping I guess she's allowed express happiness. She's certainly earned the right to having a spoken line. No matter what. Every fuckin' time.
"Here we go." This was always a great line to kind of ease in to the officially-official start of Part II-- every time you start up a New Game+ you're greeted with Emil musing about his conflation of Halua to Kaine, and then the phrase "Here we go". There's a lot in that one line. On a personal level he's grounding his thoughts in the moment and steeling himself for what comes next and pushing through his pain and sadness and fear. Whatever Nier told him in the facility he's still terrified, desperately terrified, that Kaine -- who was the one who told him his life had meaning -- is going to reject him. And why wouldn't she? Ultimately they don't know each other, not really. He understands at that moment that his relationship with Kaine is based on confused memories of his sister, that maybe the bond he thought they established isn't actually real. As soon as he frees Kaine he's going to have to confront her, like this, and how could she ever-- she won't-- but he can't just leave her. Whatever happens next. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. (God it matters.) "Here we go." On a meta level, that's our introduction into the second half of the game. The first half is all prologue. This is where we'll be spending the rest of our time, even to the point that 'New Game+' skips straight ahead to this moment. Now that we've finished the establishment, this is where it all builds and where it all matters. Here we go, audience. The ride starts now. You get up to this point now in Replicant. You get the same lead-in. My dumb ass even whispered "Here we go", because I can't help myself. And he says, of course he says--! "Anyway." ... ...a-anyway? What the hell kind of line is that? "Here's some deeply personal musings that are also an indication of my own discomfort as I babble to myself just to fill the void so I can stave off thinking for just a few more seconds. ANYWAY." What a... bizarre decision. Just bizarre.
Upgraded melee combat The introduction to the armored Shades always feel kind of rough-- the defenses on those Shades are significantly higher than anything you've faced and the new weapons you're given to combat them just aren't that good. (If you got lucky you could have a fully-upgraded Faith by now, which is nearly three times as powerful as the 'heavy' two-handed sword you're given; if you downloaded the 4 YoRHa pack for Replicant you've probably been able to upgrade one of those weapons once, which are also a really nice strength boost that leaves the freebie heavy swords and spears in the dust). As an introduction to the new weapon types it always feels like rough going. But then you get a chance to get decent weapons and the combat system truly opens up, and compared to the first game you really feel it. At this juncture I would always just bustle off to Facade and grab the Phoenix Spear and never look back-- the raw power compared to the rest of your arsenal coupled with the triangle dash is basically the bread and butter of the rest of the game. It's not exciting, but it's effective. No more triangle dashing, which was deeply disappointing... but both weapons definitely feel good. I am also somewhat ashamed to admit that it wasn't until now that I realized attacks weren't just about rhythmic input-- you can hold the attacks down to do different charged hits and combos depending on when you execute them in your combo, similar to Automata. I, uh... I felt a bit dumb. But hey, wow, it's a welcome adjustment and it makes all of the weapon types feel equally valuable for different purposes. I never liked using the heavy blades in the original release because they just felt too slow for the damage output they did, even if their 'point' was mostly to sheer off armor (and they definitely felt too slow for use in crowd control). Now they're still heavy and slower, but not to the point that you're basically leaving yourself open just trying to attack. Spears now do crazy sweeping combos and multi-hits. Both of these properties were borrowed from Automata and I find myself prioritizing melee combat and almost forgetting I have magic because honestly it just feels intuitive and fun. I feel like Kaine and Emil might have gotten a power boost as well? Not that I can really confirm this but going into some of the Junk Heap rooms I'd focus on killing a few robots in the corner and then turn around and just see a field of item drops and no more robots. Don't take my word on that, of course, but they felt a little more effective, and a placebo effect is still an effect. "You're staging a protest? That's fun!" Emil. Rebel without a cause. Will not hesitate to kill you if you trespass on his property. (Might explain the statues in the courtyard, actually.) I'll have to double-check this dialogue because I definitely remember more of a melancholia before we get to roasting marshmallows. I think Papa Nier actually offers to talk to/implicitly threaten the villagers to let them in the Village whereas Brother offers to sleep outside with them... which is actually kind of funny. In the former it comes off as Emil and Kaine maybe kinda-sorta not wanting to be allowed in the Village for their own reasons (they're not happy reasons but they're reasons nonetheless) and reassuring Father that no, it's okay, it's fun! The latter is almost telling Brother to stay inside because he'll ruin their sleepover.
(They're absolutely having giggly girl talk about him outside the gates, 100%.) they ran over the seals All I want in Seafront is to enjoy the music and run out to the big beach and hang out with the last living seals and they put a fucking pirate ship on top of them. Oh, wow. Gideon. Wow. OG Nier featured a Gideon that tried to keep himself together and then had fits of mania. You'd be concerned about him during some of the dialogue but generally speaking he came across as... functional. The delivery on all of his lines is now so insanely murder bonkers, like every line he's addressing you like you're already chained to the wall of his serial killer dungeon and it's glorious. I don't know if the distinction between the games is deliberate (in that Gideon in Gestalt was just more even-keeled between his 'rip 'em apart' snarlings and was always just totally nutso in RepliCant) but I do appreciate it. It's a good mirror to Brother Nier's own anger, which only ever seems to be mollified when he's talking to his friends (even kindly accepting sidequests there's a pretty consistent -- not universal, but consistent -- air of barely-bridled frustration). The other characters that Brother encounters are various reflections of himself if things had just been a little different-- Gideon was a representation of the kind of obsessive madness that would have eaten Brother alive if he hadn't had his network of support. Gideon's constant fury and bloodlust even bleeds into him just saying "What can I do for you?" He has no anchor to keep himself sane, nobody to stay human for; he's all mania, all anger, and he only takes any real interest in Brother on his return because he sees an opportunity to act out his vengeance. After defeating Beepy and Kalil he even goes so far as to not only blame Beepy for killing Jakob, but for also killing their mother, which is patently insane but really speaks to how far his justifications and fury have taken him. Papa Nier responds to his anger toward Beepy by basically backing away slowly and saying "Oookay then". Brother, however, actually commiserates; "That's enough. [...] We get it. We really do." This is definitely one of those moments where Brother's context works better than Father's; he absolutely sees himself in Gideon. He completely understands him and sympathizes. He recognizes the madness of his own quest, he sees where it could take him, and there's a resignation when he speaks to Weiss: "Revenge is a fool's errand." "...yeah." Papa Nier has a similar delivery and similarly implies that he understands how terrible his quest is, but there's something decidedly haunting in Brother's sympathy. Also just verifying something on the wiki and this bit of 'Trivia' really jumped at me:
Gideon is the only character to only cause the deaths of other characters. In his case, he caused a platform to crush Jakob and ordered the deaths of P-33 and Kalil, with P-33 surviving.
Metal AF.
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junova · 4 years ago
Text
↬ 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬
pairing: au!steve x fem!reader 
summary: the one where you meet steve rogers. 
word count: 3.8K+ 
[author’s note]: hello my sunshines! welcome to the first installment of a short series i’ve been working on. hope you enjoy reading it as much as i loved writing it! lmk what you think <3 
warnings: angst, slight dose of baby fluff (if u blink), cursing 
*: ・゚ ✧*:  ・゚✧ *: ・゚ ✧*:  ・゚✧  *: ・゚✧*:  ・゚✧
THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED was a slight shift in priority and truly, it wasn’t a big deal. You understood the two of them worked together, and time had run over. Later in the evening when he returned home, he apologized to you. Forgetting the two of you had plans while he with another woman, but you didn’t let it get under your skin. Above everything else, you trusted him. 
Until the first time moved to the second one, than the third, until you couldn’t keep count of how many times he had ‘forgotten’ the dates the two of you had made. Still, you let it slide. This was your sweet, tender boy. You knew despite the growing tension he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Just like the past couple of months, you chalked it up to him just being too busy. 
It had to be it. 
Maybe more than anyone else, you understood. His step-father was pushing all his unrealistic expectations of their first and only child. Continuously pushing him to be the best of the best no matter the cost. Maybe in the past, he would have blamed his parents, specifically his father for pushing him so harshly to attend Winter University. 
He had become resentful towards his father after his first year. He was stressed more than he liked to admit and the pressure to please him was always at an all time high. Heading into his third semester, he wanted nothing more than to drop out. The high intensity of each course he took too much to bear along with the very high expectations everyone in his family had for him. Just waiting for him to either succeed with grace or fail with shame. 
As everyday passed, essay after essay, he regretted the life which was chosen for him. He feared of sounding like a spoiled brat who was gifted the riches of the elite and acted like it was a burden. It certainly was the reason why he never complained. He knew what it meant to have nothing. It didn’t cost a thing. Now with the world at his fingertips it felt it may cost him everything. 
— 
 Tony suggested he should join the soccer team this year, so he did. Just as he was asked. 
It’s not as if joining was ever completely out of question. Steve had played it in high school, but he never thought he would be good to make the team. As it turned out, he was. 
He joined the team and it turned to be a good outlet for him to escape to. When everything seemed too much to juggle, he something in his life to blow off some steam. His roommate, Bucky, even made tryouts himself. 
As the weeks droned by he found a nice balance with his assignments between practices. It certainly wasn’t easy at first, but he adjusted quickly. His body soon became acquainted with waking up for practices at the crack of dawn. Was it enjoyable? Hell no, but Steve was starting to feel like he truly belonged to something. He was part of team. He was part of a unit. He didn’t even knew he craved it until he had it. 
The team captain, Wilson, urged Steve to attend the house party after their first win of the season. He was more than reluctant to attend when Bucky basically all put pushed him out of the dorms. He really did want to go, but the idea of all the assignments he was neglecting while he was partying didn’t quite sit right with him. 
If it didn’t sit right with him, he’s sure it wouldn’t sit well with Tony. 
Before he could offer some half excuse to ditch the party, an ice cold beer was shoved into his hand. Urging him to join the celebration activities. 
So he did. 
He played one too many games of beer pong, indulged himself in a few more drinking games before he felt slightly buzzed. It was the only time he let himself let go and not worry about a damn thing. 
Then a few women came onto him, interested in something more than just platonic company. He took it as his cue to leave. Close to midnight, his muscles tight and restricting due to the game he had played, craving nothing more than to find the comfort his bed could offer. 
He let Bucky know he was leaving so he didn’t worry and started to make his way back. Making his way through the house just moments from stepping out the front door, when he heard a small cry. 
There was a small bar in the room adjacent to entrance Steve was hoping to make a beeline exit for, but then he saw you sitting there. On the countertop with tears in the most captivating eyes he had ever seen. You really didn’t seem to be looking at anyone in particular. Your eyes following the bodies that passed you almost as if you were in a haze. 
You still hadn’t connected the dots on how intently Steve was looking at you and he was more than appreciative. He really didn’t want to be perceived as a creep but you were alone and probably drunk. He just wanted to make sure no one would take advantage of you. 
As carefully as he could, he approached you with a peace offering at hand. He picked up a red velvet cupcake with frosted icing on his way out, planning on munching on the delicious treat on his way home. He sensed maybe you would need it more than he did. 
The moment he stepped forward, you were acutely aware of his presence. His broad shoulders with his muscular build did nothing to diminish the fear you held when he approached you. Not looking at you like you were something to be owned or possessed, but as a bystander just wanting to offer a helping hand. 
He was so much taller than you. Even as you sat on the counter of the bar, as soon as he close to you, his soft eyes connected with yours. Maybe it helped he didn’t lure over you at the moment, he just looked at you. 
Then as if it was the most mundane act in the world, he reach into his back pocket to pull out a silky, lavender handkerchief and handed it over to you. 
“Thank you.” You felt over the handkerchief, smoothing it out between your fingertips. More than hesitant to due so, it felt nice. Expensive, too much for you to be drying your wasteful tears with it. He was offering and you thought it might be rude not to, and you really didn’t trust your voice to say anything more than pleasantries. 
So, you wiped your tears with it and it felt heavenly. Much like the boy in front of you looked. A few minutes passed, and your cries had settled down. The presence of his body protecting you or maybe it’s just what it felt like. He still hadn’t said a word to you. 
Maybe an attempt to not scare you in the other direction. Naively, you thought he might be protecting you in some way shape or form. You knew you could take care of yourself if push came to shove, but the idea that maybe there was still some human decency out there was a nice thought. 
It could be possible not every man preyed on women when they were at their most vulnerable. Of course, this one was wrapped in pretty packaging, so maybe that put you at ease. 
“Do you have a safe way to get home?” Oh? He finally speaks. 
“I can manage just fine.” You chipped, quite shortly to him. Watching him carefully, as he took a step forward. He reached in the same pocket from before, pulling out a small index card, with a number printed on it in small red ink. 
“On the small chance you can’t, ask for Happy and he can take you home. No charge, no hassle.” He then places the cupcake he had been holding in his right hand before placing it where you sat comfortably along with the card, before leaving you alone. 
You watched as he walked out the door, not sparing you a second glance. 
— 
Maybe it was naive to let your mind drift back to the boy who had showed you kindness. Anytime another person spoke to you it was easy to assume they only wanted something from you. Searching for a reason to exploit the dean’s daughter. 
Just two weeks ago when you were caught in a compromising situation you had been set up in, your mom had paid them off before the vulgar photograph spread throughout campus. The way she scolded you still fresh in mind. 
The absolute disregard for your own feelings, but total care for her reputation was nothing short of surprise. Above all, her career had come first and you were just a simple pest threatening to ruin the life she had built. 
Never neglecting to remind you of it. 
You really wish you could just be the like her. Fiercely strong, not putting up with anybody’s shit but you were the complete opposite of her. Weak, fragile, more sensitive than you’d like to be. 
She never quite missed a beat to let you know even if it’s what you wished for. 
Her disappointment weighed heavily on your shoulders that night and Finnick abandoning you for the pretty blonde across the room did nothing to help your self-esteem either. 
So, you sat on the vacant bar and cried. Only because you thought everyone was too engrossed with their preferred vices and the burn of vodka numbing their senses to hear you. 
But a boy with silky, shining hair as golden as the sun sought you out like a moth to a flame. A large part of you waiting for crude, perverted comments to fly right out his mouth with no intention of catching them. 
Then he left as soon as he came, not even leaving his name with you. Not as if you cared, you would never see him again. 
Until you did, two weeks later to be exact. 
Now, you were beginning to think he only came into your life when you seemed like a damsel in distress. Not only did a thunderstorm decide to show up on your supposed date night, but Finnick had decided to be a world colossal dick. 
At this point it shouldn’t surprise you. He had shown you time after time it’s who he was and to think he would change was an idiots’ dream. Your dream, so to speak. This time he crossed the line, pushing you to your brink. 
“Please baby. I’m sorry. It honestly was just a slip up, an oversight. Truly. It won’t happen again.” You regret even picking up his call in the first place. Now more than ever, hearing his sorry excuses wash over once again filled your venom to the brim. 
“I don’t give a fuck what your excuse is, Fin. This is the forth fucking time this week alone. I’m done with your bullshit.” Your anger once again getting the best of you, but you were well within reason to be bitter about him forgetting a date the two of you had planned once again. 
“Can we just talk? I’m finished and I’m free for you.” His tone was small, minuscule, almost like he actually cared he had let you get your hopes up.  
“Go talk to someone who fucking cares, Finnick.” You hung up on him as he was mid-sentence, because dear god lord help you if it actually became any importance to you. 
Now, it no longer mattered to you. You had given him more chances than you could count, but he always fell short. Maybe you expected more than you should from him. On the other hand, you been with him for over a year. 
If you were you honest with yourself he acted the same as he did before. The only difference is the love had dissipated into dust, no longer letting you be blinded by him. His eyes didn’t glow with love but rather with an emptiness you couldn’t fill. Even if it’s all you wished for.
Now, on this shameful night, you stood outside waiting for a sign. Maybe a beacon of hope letting you know not everything was lost.
Hoping your four year relationship wasn’t tumbling down the drain.
Then you saw him, again.
Just like before you were struck by just how beautiful he is. Without a shadow of a doubt, he was the most attractive man you had ever encountered with.
His build made you recognize him instantly. The man who had given you the handkerchief to remedy the loss you felt that night. An act of kindness which hadn’t been reach out to you in so long.
Now, here you were crying in front of the handsome stranger again. Surely, he would think you were nothing more than a pathetic little girl. 
This time he wasn’t alone which only seemed to triple your embarrassment. Accompanied by a man who seemed to be twice his age, more than likely his father. He hadn’t noticed you yet, thankfully. Even if he had, you doubted he would realize who you were.
He surely could have been drunk or out of his mind on the night he found you. Part of you knew he was of sane mind, but the shameful part of you wished he wasn’t so there would be nothing familiar about you.
Simply, you be a single face in a sea of many.
Fate would not be on your side today, because he approached you. Loudly enough to make his presence known but not too loud to scare you off.
Is this what it felt like to die inside?
He was even more beautiful than last time. A pure vision and by the way he carried himself, he knew it, too. Although, the mysterious blonde wasn’t arrogant but held confidence so infatuating you could help but be intrigued. 
“Here.” He gestures softly, your big doe eyes meeting his own. He held the umbrella under the both of you, shielding you from the pelts of Zeus. “I can’t imagine you would want to get more drenched than you already are.”
Part of you wanted to dismiss him, but you had a feeling he wouldn’t let you even if you tried. Especially from the judgement from the man who was tucked safely by the front door.
Now, that he mentioned it, you hadn’t noticed you brought yourself out onto the curb from the restaurant allowing yourself to be coated in your shame.
The rain, too.
“Thank you. Again. Seems like I only know how to make myself appear as an emotional idiot in front of you.” Now, the two of you so close to one another the concept of breathing was hard for you to grasp.
It wasn’t lost on you the death glare the man he was just with looked at you like vermin. How you could anyone ever be associated with someone who looked as pitiful as you did?
Trust me, I was asking myself the same question.
“Take the handle.” The golden boy guided the umbrella towards you, all but shoving it into your hold. You thought he was going to walk away from you again but he took the moment of his gloved fingertips freed to remove the wool coat off of his muscled back. Carefully, placing the dry material on your shoulders.
He didn’t miss the quizzical frown upon your face, maybe if you weren’t crying you might have been the most stunning women he had ever seen.
Not even the rain could hide those puffy cheeks and under eyes from him. It wasn’t important to him now, not when you were shivering half to death. 
“You’re freezing. You need to warm up.” His fingertip fastened the buttons on the coat, wrapping you in what smelled like him. A musky scent so refreshing you let it consume your senses. Immediately two sleek, jet black town cars pulled up to the curb where you stood by the mysteriously chivalrous man.
“C’mon doll.” He grabbed the umbrella, holding it firm as he reached his free hand out for you ready to take. 
For an unknown reason, you latched on to him. Surprising even yourself.
The older man skipped in front of you opening the door, before hopping in with the man you still didn’t even know the name of.
In hindsight, probably wasn’t the wisest decision you’ve made but there was this underlying feeling. You trusted him. He had given you no reason not to, only providing his aid and care one both occasions.
Mindlessly offering him your address, now aware of how fucked you were if he wasn’t as kind as he seemed to be. Not only were you with one unidentified man, but two.
“Are you okay? Are you still cold?” He peered down at you, his eyes piercing through you with a soft warmth. In stark comparison to the man sitting across from you, his brown hues watching you for any sudden movement.
“I’m warmer now.” He nodded, accepting your affirmation for now. Itching to say more, wondering if you were as well.
The heater inside the vehicle seemed to leave him warmer than he would normally prefer, but kept it on even if it was making his body sweat profusely. Almost worried he might be making you uncomfortable, eyes following yours just to make sure you weren’t looking as he removed the blazer only know allowing his true physique to be exposed.
But god were you fucking looking. 
You knew he was jacked, but to this extent? You didn’t know it was possible to look this good.
As soon as his eyes found your own, shamelessly checking him out, he figured now would be a wonderful time to insert himself in.
“You know, sometimes it’s easier to tell strangers your problems than the people closest to you.” Lowering his voice, so the older gentleman couldn’t hear him. “I-I don’t know why you’d assume I have a problem.” You looked at him and you felt like an unopened book but he still managed to know every little thing about you.
“Just a feeling, maybe. That’s all.” He didn’t bother you again the rest of the ride home and it bugged you. He clearly wanted to say something but he bit his tongue instead. Keeping his hand in his lap, making sure he kept his distance from you.
“Smile snowflake, you’re not getting soaked anymore.” The older man finally addressed you. Focusing his fury gaze upon you, waiting to elicit a certain reaction from you.
Snowflake?
“Tony, leave her be.” He hissed at him. For a moment, you thought he was being protective. He doesn’t know you idiot, think straight for once.
“Why? You decided to bring a stray without my consent. I’m just having fun, Steve.” You didn’t miss the tension growing between the pair, ready to brawl right here in front of you.
Steve.
Why did his name sound familiar to you? Do you know him? Is that why he was being kind to you? Did he somehow know you?
“If you don’t drop this I swear to god, Stark.” Thankfully enough for Steve, Happy interrupted the two men.
“Sir, we’ve arrived at the designated location.” The car coming to a halt and you couldn’t wait to bust out of here. Desperate to dry yourself, hopefully you still had time and you wouldn’t catch a cold.
Just as you feared, it was still pouring down. Fantastic.
“Thank you for the ride, really. You didn’t have to.” Your small, angelic voice barely ascending to a volume loud enough for Steve to hear you. 
His eyes getting lost in you for a moment before looking through the window, the rain morphing itself into larger specs of hail.
“Jesus, it’s still fucking pouring. Let me walk you up.” He reaches towards the umbrella he had tossed into the empty seat.
“Steven. We need to go.” Tony had lowered his voice an octave lower, demanding Steve actually listen to him just this once.
“You can wait two minutes.” Rolling his eyes at him, before he intertwined his hand with your own. “C’mon.”
Held you right against his muscled chest as he pulled you out of the car and into him. Under the umbrella, tucked safely away from getting sick even further. He moved until you were under the protection for your patio. The rain once and for all shielded away.
“I’m sorry about, Tony. He means well but he’s a bit of an asshole.” Steve smiled down, looking like he had just won the lottery. “Really? I couldn’t tell.” Just like that, Steve let out a soft laugh. Showing off his perfectly aligned pearly whites, with a subtly you wished to possess.
“Oh shit! Here.” You begin to take off the coat he lended you, but his calloused hands stopped the gesture.
“Keep it. Please?” He questioned, almost like he was unsure of the words falling out of his mouth.
“Why?” You thought it was a simple question, but he must have stood there for a couple of minutes before actually responding you.
“It really just doesn’t fit me right, would hate for it to go to waste.” He mumbled it out, almost as if he was struggling with the concept of flirting with you.
“Okay, then. I’ll keep it.” You agreed with him, gripping it closer to you. Taking in his smell once again.
“Alright, then. You should get going. Wouldn’t want to keep Tony waiting.” He nodded, stepping away from you, battling a war with himself.
Just do it, dummy. This is your chance.
When you thought he was going to walk away, he took you in his arms. No longer caring about the damage your wet hair may cause to his suit. Not that Steve really cared to begin with.
“You don’t deserve whatever he’s giving you. Just know there’s always something better at the end of the tunnel, maybe even someone else willing to offer you more.” He breathed into your ear, before kissing you sweetly on the cheek.
“I’ll see you soon, angel.”
Leaving with more than enough to think about.
taglist: @tonystankschild 
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ronsenburg · 4 years ago
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i saw this post and IMMEDIATELY started writing an essay, so I moved it here so as not to clutter up someone else’s post...........
it absolutely blows my mind that, today in 2021, i honestly can’t remember what’s canon from the turnabout serenade case, what i read in a fanficition, and what is my own personal HC. like, it’s been more than a decade since i played the case for the first time and it’s probably been 5ish years since the last time i played AJ (definitely forgot to play it again before writing youngblood which is.... contributing to this) so i really don’t know if what goes on in my head is accurate, but, over the years, i’ve come up with a Lot of Thoughts, which i’ll discuss below. 
tldr; it’s all about power (the desire for, the subversion of, the need to maintain), but if you’d like the specifics, here you go:
daryan: i think the explanation that he did it for “the money” is a line. please don’t mistake me, daryan is an asshole and a murderer, im not discounting that, but in court ive always thought that he was playing the part that everyone- especially klavier- is expecting of him. he’s the bad guy. might as well make it a finale for the books.
i’ve always seen daryan and klavier as opposite sides of the same coin when it comes to family and career aspirations. where i imagine klavier came from a well off and well loved family before his parents died, i see daryan from a working class, difficult upbringing. i read a few papers on the psychology of children/parenting style of police officers and decided early on that daryan’s dad was also a cop. his mother is either dead or (more likely) left them early on. dad coped by working a little too hard, gambling/drinking a little too much, and was overall not around a lot and kind of an authoritarian/controller when he was. it left daryan with a lot of anger he had to cope with, about what it means to be a cop, the idea of a “just cause” and the ends justifying the means, and an issue with authority (which is laughable, considering what a bully he turned out to be. sometimes we emulate our parents unintentionally; it’s the only thing we have to model our behavior on). so daryan started off at a disadvantage. klavier started off loved and supported and surrounded by expensive belongings, but the death of his parents and the subsequent emotional and financial abuse by his newly appointed guardian/brother left him in a similar place by the time he and daryan met. i think it was probably the foundation for their bond, and i think it’s why klavier decided to become a prosecutor instead of following in his brother’s footsteps and why daryan ultimately decided to enter law enforcement as well. i think they had a lot of optimistic, idealistic thoughts on being better than the people that hurt them, on utilizing the law to make the world a better place. i don’t think klavier ever conceived that kristoph could have wanted him in the prosecutors office as another pawn to play, and i don’t think he realized how fluid daryan’s morality could be.
shipping alert—you guys know me, im crazy for the idea of a “best friends to on again off again lovers to tenuous coworkers to bitterly disappointed in but still harboring feelings for the other person despite being on opposite sides” dynamic between daryan and klavier. i honestly can’t separate the ship from the case and im sorry about it. if you read youngblood you know that i think daryan started to resent klavier pretty early on, when they were still together, when the band was still successful, because klavier was able to move forward and work through the issues of his past while daryan was seemingly stuck. yes, daryan had made detective and the gavinners were a hit, he’d risen above his initial social standing and thrown off the control his father, he had money and fame and a future. but everything he had was because of klavier. daryan needed klavier, emotionally, morally, financially. but even when klavier was professing his love for daryan, both privately and in the form of chart topping songs, he didn’t need daryan. it was obvious (and of course, healthy, but how do children of abuse learn what a healthy relationship looks like without help? especially when the only relationships you’ve ever had are codependent and, in some ways, just as toxic?) and so things spiraled. daryan got possessive and angry again and klavier got distant and they broke up and got back together and broke up and didn’t get back together but kept ending up back in each other’s arms for comfort and for support and because how the hell do you move on when the person you’ve been in love with since you were 15 is sitting next to you on a tour bus and is also your partner in a homicide case and singing songs he wrote about you on stage in front of thousands of screaming fans?
okay, shipping glasses off, sorry. but no matter how you look at their relationship, daryan’s promotion out of homicide was probably the most distance they’d had from each other in years, as it removed a large chunk of the daily “working relationship” aspect. and without klavier there to act as a moral compass, it was likely easier to slip back into his earlier thoughts about what constitutes justice and his intense hatred of being pushed around by someone who has more power than you. so enter the chief justice with a son who is sick, dying even, but can’t get the medicine he needs because there’s a government out there telling them no. The reasons are arbitrary: the medicine could be used as a poison and can’t be found anywhere else so it might come back to bite the country in the ass if it’s misused by criminals. newsflash: pretty much all medicine is poisonous if it isn’t used correctly, should we stop using penicillin entirely because some people might be allergic to it? they’ve essentially condemned a whole bunch of people to death because they’re worried about their reputation. and that doesn’t sit well with daryan, who is caught up remembering the bullshit justifications his dad would spout when he knocked him around, that kristoph would give when withholding every single penny of money klavier was entitled to until he agreed to do what kristoph wanted. it isn’t right, it isn’t fair and unfair laws shouldn’t have to be upheld, especially when they’re the unfair laws of a country you most definitely did not swear to uphold and protect. it was never about money, though daryan agrees to take it when the chief offers it to him, more for his comfort level than for daryan’s need or desire. it’s about justice and putting a bully in it’s place with a (seemingly) victimless crime that should be so easy given his role in the international division of criminal affairs and klavier’s sudden hard on for the country of borginia. seriously, how could this have been any more straightforward? daryan is capable of murder, though. all cops are. and if it came down to a “them or me” shootout, of course he’d pull the trigger. 
machi: when you come from nothing, the desire to have something of your own is overwhelming. the idea that machi is famous and financially set is disingenuous; he is not individually famous, he is Lamiroir’s “blind” pianist. yes, she views him as a son and seems to care deeply for him, but his main purpose in her life is to perpetuate a lie. machi has been abandoned before; what will happen to him if lamiroir suddenly remembers who she was in the past? what if she has a family and a true son of her own and has no use for him? what if their secret is found out and the public rejects him for his role in it? he is 14. what does he know about being provided for? about contracts and trust funds and royalties? he ended up in an orphanage originally because he was unwanted, and that led to a life of poverty and hardship. abandonment issues are rooted in fear and are rarely logical. i find it far easier to believe that machi did it for the money, but more for the power money might have given him towards independence in an unfeeling and capitalist world.
kristoph: i won’t get into this, because this is supposed to be about daryan and machi and the guitar’s serenade, and kristoph is not really involved in that at all. but i think everything that kristoph has ever done in the game, good or bad, is rooted in a pathological need to constantly be in control. i think that kristoph and klavier both have very intense personalities that they have sought to control over the course of their lives for the sake of their careers. kristoph believes that to be a good lawyer, you need to play your cards close to your chest, that to show your hand is to expose a weakness that the enemy can exploit, that to show no weaknesses at all places you in a position of power. klavier believes that to show his true self, to display his weaknesses and fears to the public, would result only in their rejection. as such, they both wear masks of their own creation even under the most intense of pressures: kristoph as pleasant and calm, klavier as magnetic and dynamic. note the primary difference in their rational? klavier wants to be wanted, while kristoph wants power. and power corrupts, after all. once you have it, what could be more overwhelming than the idea that you might lose it all? it can drive even the most rational people to commit acts of passionate irrationality in the name of holding on to that power. and kristoph has so many pieces involved in his strategy to maintain.  
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a-libra-writes · 5 years ago
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Fighting Alongside the GoT Characters & They Realize You’re a Woman
THIS IS A NEAT IDEA + a request woop woop, I hope i did it justice, anon!
I didn’t include some characters because a few started to get repetitive, or bc I genuinely struggled with them. If i removed or didnt include your fav, serenade my ask box and ill add them!
In this preference, you'll be fighting with: Ned Stark, Robb Stark, Sansa Stark, Jon Snow, Benjen Stark, Jory Cassel, Dolorous Edd, Tormund Giantsbane, Theon Greyjoy, Yara Greyjoy, Daenerys Targaryen, Jorah Mormont, Missandei, Tyrion Lannister, Jamie Lannister, Tywin Lannister, Sandor Clegane, Bronn, Stannis Baratheon, Davos Seaworth, Margaery Tyrell, Brienne of Tarth, Roose Bolton, Ramsay Bolton, Oberyn Martell, Beric Dondarrion
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NED STARK
When you removed your helmet, Ned was certainly taken for surprise, but it wasn’t so unheard of for women to fight in the North - for a moment he wondered if you were with the Mormont family and he just didn’t recognize you. He’d thank you for helping him in battle and once he was home, ask around to see if anyone had heard of you. If you were the daughter of a knight or soldier at Winterfell, he’d feel quite abashed for not knowing you, and he’d make a point to try and speak to you again.
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ROBB STARK
In the middle of battle, Robb noticed you were consistently protecting other men on the battlefield. He focused his attention back on the battle and at one point, you intercepted a soldier coming for him. After the battle, Robb looked for you, and was stunned to silence when you removed your helmet. He quickly recovered himself and thanked you for protecting his men and himself. If you had time, he’d want to know more about you, especially how you learned how to fight so well.
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SANSA STARK
A tourney had gotten out of hand, and you were the one to shield Sansa away from a drunken crowd that turned into an outright brawl. She got separated from everyone, and you easily guided her home. She’d graciously thank you, asking if you were a Ser, and she wouldn’t hide her surprise once you pulled your hood back and showed your face. She’d think about you well after she went back into the Red Keep, and ask her handmaidens if they knew of a woman with a pretty face and a sword at her waist.
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JON SNOW
Jon flounders a little when he finds out. He was thanking you for your help and complimenting the quality of your sword, then you took off your helmet and his words suddenly sputtered and failed him. You could probably tease him a bit for it, and he’d apologize with a blush. Jon wouldn’t be able to hide his curiosity as to who taught you how to use the sword, and he could definitely be goaded into a spar. The matter of how you ended up at the Night’s Watch occurred to him as well, and you certainly had to elbow him when he tried to ask you something in front of others.
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BENJEN STARK
He had a few suspicions when he’d seen you before, but his attention was quickly taken away when a pack of wildlings attacked you and his scouting party. You watched his back more than once, and he did the same, and you two dealt with the wildlings fairly quickly. Once you both were alone, he’d just bluntly ask if you were a woman. He’d want to know more about you and why you were here of all places, asking with a genial smile. He wasn’t judging, you could tell, and he wouldn’t expose your secret. 
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JORY CASSEL
He was pleasantly surprised when you stepped in to help him fend off some opportunistic bandits. Once you revealed yourself, he couldn't hide his surprise and stumbled on his initial words. He still thanked you and he'd think about you for some time after, wondering if anyone at Winterfell has heard of you. If you ran into each other again, he’d take that chance to actually ask you his questions and get to know you better.
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DOLOROUS EDD
He didn’t pay much attention to “the brother who creeps about in a hood”. You both were somewhat friendly, you were just quiet for obvious reasons. It wasn’t until you both got caught out beyond the Wall during an expedition, and a wildling yanked your hood off, did he realized why you were bundled up and hiding. It was just you and Edd that were caught out, and you more or less threatened them into silence. To say he was surprised was an understatement, but he played it cool, trying to get to know you throughout the trip and subtly distracting anyone who was bothering you.
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TORMUND GIANTSBANE
Tormund would light up with absolute glee once he realized the crow he’d been watching in combat was actually a woman. He liked your style and asked you outright to show your face and give him a proper spar. It only made him like you even more, especially if you’d disarm him during the spar. He’d probably end up with a crush by the end of the day, and Jon would have to pull him away once he started asking after your battles and scars.
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THEON GREYJOY
Theon actually scoffed when you remove your hood. There's no way a girl could've hit the bandits with the ferocity you did, but here you are. He's distinctly reminded of Yara when he sees the way you grip your weapon and glare at him, so he gives a half-baked thanks. Later in the Winterfell training yard, he'd laugh at the way you'd knock over Jon and Robb, until the two of them pushed him into the ring to fight you. He wondered how he’d never noticed you before, but not being noticed was kind of the point of your disguise. For every time you’d laugh at how easy it was to disarm him in a spar, he’d laugh at how sideways your arrows would fly.
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YARA GREYJOY
She didn't pay attention to who was fighting alongside her until afterwards. When you removed your hood to shake out your hair, she just laughed outright, recalling just moments ago when you doubled over a man twice your size. She would then saunter over, bluntly asking why you were helping her and her men. Yara appreciated ferocity in a woman, and she’d say as much. She’d want to grab a drink with you and find out how experienced you truly were, and if you were looking for a crew to work on. Being surrounded by a bunch of men with only a few brains between them got exhausting, after all. 
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DAENERYS TARGARYEN
You had heard of her exploits through Essos and travelled to Meereen to see the dragon queen for yourself. During a sudden revolt, you jumped forward beside her guard and helped fend off the angry crowd. Once she was safe in her palace, Daenerys demanded to see your face and know your intentions. You removed your hood and explained yourself. Admittedly, she was much more interested upon seeing your face, and she’d accept your service if you decided to pledge to her.
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JORAH MORMONT
He’d seen and heard of women warriors in Essos, it wasn’t too unusual. He was still surprised when Viserys hired you to watch Daenerys on her wedding day, perhaps thinking she’d run. You and Jorah ended up with something of a rapport, especially once he saw you fight. He grew up with ladies in courtly dresses and manners, so to see such a pretty woman wield a weapon with such ferocity was an interesting and sometimes amusing sight.
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MISSANDEI
Missandei rarely left the palace unless she followed Daenerys’ lead, and this was the exact reason why. She’d try to be stealthy, but she was caught up in a riot in Meereen. You pulled her to safety back to the palace, cutting down any that tried to hurt you both. There wasn’t time to talk until you both were finally safe - shaken, but safe. 
You’d finally remove your hood and ask if she was alright, and Missandei was surprised, but still grateful. She’d implore you to come into the palace, to see the khaleesi and perhaps you’d be rewarded. Missandei liked that you didn’t want a reward, but she’d still want your wounds to be tended to.
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TYRION LANNISTER
Like the rest of the attending audience, Tyrion was shocked that it was a maiden who won the melee at Casterly Rock. It wasn't long before the gossip caught up and he learned your name and House, if you had one. Later at the feast, he'd make a point to bring you a cup of wine, since he heard many lords snickering and complaining about your win. He'd jest that you'd lost them quite a bit of gold, then would chat and try to learn about you. 
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JAIME LANNISTER
You fought alongside him in his father’s army, and at first, he thought nothing of the soldier beside him, besides your competence and skill with the blade. It wasn’t until in the heat of a fight, when your helmet was knocked off, that he realized what you were. You scolded him for being distracted and retrieved your helmet after the battle. You then implored him to keep your secret, and Jaime did. He still thought of you sometimes, and would try to seek you out at camp, but you blended in too well with the other Lannister soldiers. It’s an understatement to say he was surprised to see you long after, when he returned to King’s Landing a very different man. You still had the same sword, the same armor that hid your features. It was oddly grounding to see something hadn’t changed, and this time, you gave him a smile. 
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TYWIN LANNISTER
He'd heard some years ago about a lord in the Crownlands allowing his daughter to don armor and learn the sword, but Tywin never kept idle gossip in mind. The thought returned when you arrived with your lord father and his men, fresh off the battlefield. You removed your helmet and gave your courtesies, while your father remarked on how many Stark men you took the life of. After that, when his generals would disappoint him, Tywin would make a snide remark about how he ought to bring the Crownsland girl to the wartable, since her bannermen were doing more for the war. He might even call you into the war chambers and quiz you on strategy in front of them, just to make a point.
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SANDOR CLEGANE
You were a sellsword hired by that Imp, along with those hill clans he brought along, but you certainly weren’t with them. He must’ve picked you off the street. Sandor thought something was off, but he also didn’t give a shit to investigate further. You were pretty short for a mercenary, though. It wasn’t until the riots, when the two of you went after the missing Stark girl, did your secret get out. Your hood was thrown off in the scuffle, but it hardly deterred you as you pulled Sansa to her feet and into his arms. On the way to the Keep, you had the mind to pull your hood back, but he already knew. It was a funny thing for a woman to carry a sword with such confidence, but you were useful in a fight, and you lacked the cruelty of most of the City Watch and Goldcloaks.
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BRONN
Tyrion sent him looking for sellswords, so he did, listening for gossip around the city and checking the seedier taverns. You had a reputation, and he saw your skill firsthand when you handled yourself in a brawl some sellswords started. He didn’t join in until a sword came straight for his gut and you blocked it. Your eyes met for a moment before you returned to the fight. You hadn’t noticed your hood had fallen down. 
A woman with a sword was a strange thing, to be sure, but it could also be a useful thing. With a lopsided smirk, he offered you a drink and said a certain Hand of the King could use your sword.
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STANNIS BARATHEON
You had distinguished yourself during the battle for Blackwater Bay, even if it was a failure. Not only had you killed a number of men, you saved a good amount of your own. When Stannis called you and a motley of other knights and soldiers to give credit where it was due, you wore your helmet, like the rest of them. And like the rest of them, you had to remove it when your king commanded. There was a rise of murmurs and hushed whispers across the room, and you were sure a flicker of surprise crossed Stannis’ face, but he pressed on. Your skill was recognized and you were given a newer, better command.
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DAVOS SEAWORTH
You were one of the many sellswords brought to Dragonstone, and while Davos spoke with the leaders of their mercenary bands, he rarely met the individual warriors themselves. It was during one of these meetings that a sudden brawl broke out between a bunch of hot-blooded, bored men that you went to work in breaking up. You’d helped get Davos out of the way while the men were dealt with. Your hood had been torn in the process, and while he had seen plenty of women with weapons during his travels, it was still a little surprising, especially seeing one so young. He gave you genuine thanks and, if he saw you again, he’d make a point to say hello and ask after you. 
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MARGAERY TYRELL
You were a supposed sellsword that saved Margaery and her guards on their way to King’s Landing. It was just bandits, but there were a number of them, and you got a wound for your troubles. Margaery positively lit up once she realized you were a woman, and a cute one, at that. She’d insist you come back with her, especially to tend to that wound, and she’d ask all sorts of questions on the way back. It almost felt like a job interview….
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BRIENNE OF TARTH
You helped her fend off several soldiers on the battlefield, and she said a quick word of thanks before moving on. It wasn't until the battle had finished and she saw you around camp - the same armor and shield, sans a helmet. Brienne quickly approached you, baffled that she couldn't tell. She'd be very interested in your skills and would shyly ask after you. Secretly, she was delighted and intrigued, but she didn't want to annoy you with her questions. It was pretty obvious to see her interest, though, and Brienne would be more than willing to join you in a round of spars.
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ROOSE BOLTON
Your father was an old sword for the Bolton house, and he taught you what he knew, provided you kept your head down and stayed out of trouble. You did so for years, no one suspecting until a battle against the Lannister men. You thought you were alone when you removed your helmet and armor and tended to a wound. Lord Bolton decided a woman with proficiency in swords and an ability to keep hidden for years in his own keep, could be put to better use than a common footsoldier. It didn't take long before he confronted you and assigned you under new orders.
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RAMSAY BOLTON
Although he’d claim otherwise, Ramsay didn’t actually know every man and sword employed to the Bolton house. Some were strictly his father’s, and didn’t report to him. You were one of those swords, often keeping to yourself under a hood and few words. Unfortunately you were tasked with accompanying Ramsay to free Winterfell from the impromptu Greyjoy attack. When one of the Ironborn tore off your hood, he was there, and he saw. You recognized that glint of interest immediately, and promptly reminded him that you were a soldier for his father, not him. He didn’t command you, and you weren’t going to be a part of his little games.
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OBERYN MARTELL
His skill with a spear was more than well known, and he was confident in his abilities, so Oberyn didn’t worry too much about bodyguards. His brother finally wore him down and he agreed to take two on an impulsive trip to King’s Landing. Sure, that was enough, and you came in handy when a sudden brawl broke out at the brothel he just insisted at staying at. In the midst of the fight, your hood was thrown off and he really stopped everything, even ignoring the man bleeding at your feet, just to get a look at you. He made some cheesy line about treating you like a proper lady, had he known, and offered you a drink. You pointed him to the angry matron of the brothel and suggested giving it to her instead.
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BERIC DONDARRION
Like many in the Brotherhood of Banners, you joined after your village was destroyed by the Lannisters. You kept to yourself and kept your identity a secret. You trusted Beric as a good man, but some of the others, not so much. The first time he saw you fight properly is also when your identity was exposed, a soldier having ripped your cloak off. Beric just smiled and asked if you were alright, and complimented your skills with the sword. He had an inkling you were a woman when you both first met, and he was more than willing to keep it a secret if that’s what you wished. And, yes, he’d set your sword on fire if you asked- just once, though.
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cosmosrival · 4 years ago
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Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????
AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!
OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG
ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going
ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.
ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!
miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away- 
parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner. 
rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)
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invisibleinorange · 4 years ago
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A Different Ending |  4/?
Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings:  Only be forewarned that this is an AU from the Adrift saga but Colin actually died in this one, so if he’s mentioned he’s actually gone. Relationships: Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington (past feelings),  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics,  Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters:  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Penadict (do we have a ship name yet?)
Summary:  There were some requests for an alternate/Parallel word to "Bridgerton's Adrift" where Benedict and Penelope actually did get married. So this is the result of that peer pressure.
Benedict Bridgerton was hardly a virgin. He’d been with plenty of women through the years who all understood that nothing was going to come of the dalliance. He hadn’t ever been with someone who actually meant something to him.  He couldn’t earnestly say that he was in love with Penelope at this point but with every passing day of their marriage, he certainly grew to admire her more.
That admiration was why it was easy to find affection and intimacy in ways that weren’t overtly sexual in nature. They spent their days taking leisurely strolls and leaning against each other while they enjoyed their personal exploits.  She’d read to him from whatever book she’d stolen from the library and he’d spend the afternoons sketching away.  
In the evenings, they would go to bed together and while neither saw fit to initiate kissing they had progressed to curling into each other.  Sometimes, Penelope would curl into his chest and others his arms around her middle. Regardless of the form it took, they would lay there talking until sleep inevitably took them.
It was something they had both come to look forward to.  Penelope had never quite felt like she belonged anywhere as much as she did in Benedict’s company. Sometimes it took her by surprise how right it all felt.  She hadn’t really thought she could have a happy ending.  She’d always thought it something meant for her sisters.
Her life had been so different mere weeks ago and yet it felt like another lifetime ago.  She’d thought her heart might never heal after Colin had died, especially when she’d learned that he’d done so thinking she was sore with him. She was actually happier than she felt she deserved though.
“I should probably write something about our honeymoon,” she told him from a desk in their bedroom where she’d taken to writing her latest article for Lady Whistledown.
Benedict saw propped against the pillows. He was dressed but his shirt was undone slightly. His hair was messy because he’d just completed a bit of nap.  He gazed over to her affectionately.
Eloise had not wasted any time ending her letters about what was happening at home though not much happened in the short time since they left.  Benedict had been pleasantly surprised that Penelope had already worked out how to ensure publication was not stalled in her absence from London though.  It was impressive for a woman to be so savvy.
“Well how do you think our honeymoon should be reported?” her asked from where he was sitting. “Are we the vision of newlywed bliss or misery?”
She laughed softly.
“Bliss,” she told him sincerely before scribbling some words on the paper.  She smiled before lifting the page, gaze moving toward his as she decided to read the excerpt.  “While most of London’s gaze turns to those who will seeking their match in the coming season, this writer is happy to report that the off-season wedding of one Benedict Bridgerton to Penelope Featherington has proven fruitful. Sources report that they have may forsake London all together – as they are particularly fond of their bed as most newlyweds prove to be.”
“It’s true,” Benedict said with a laugh before petting the space on the bed next to him.  “I think you should return to bed.”
“As you wish.”
Penelope laughed putting down her article that she’d have to finish later, ignoring the ink stains on her fingers to go climb back into the bed. She moved right into Benedict’s waiting arms, curling into his warm body.  He pressed an affectionate kiss to the top of her head.
“I’ve actually been thinking about our future home,” he told her after a moment, eyes closed as he just enjoyed having her close.
“I thought you’d found a few places that might work,” she told him quietly.
“Yes but none are good enough,” he confessed.  “I found some undeveloped land in Kensington.  It would take a little longer but have someone build us the perfect house.”
“I’m going to be happy as long as we have food and a bed to sleep in,” she told him honestly.  “You know that it doesn’t have to be perfect.”
“I know that but it won’t stop me from providing it. I was thinking you could have your own study for your writing and not just for Whistledown,” he told her, happy to encourage your passion.  “Most houses would only have one and while we could convert a room to one, we’ll need the room for when we have company or children.”
It wasn’t the first time they’d casually mentioned a future with children in it but it was the first time since they’d been married.  It was kind of strange to think about filling a home with them when their intimacy hadn’t quite evolved to the point where there was even potential to children.  It was always reassuring to hear them mentioned though because it meant that they would get there.
“You’ll need space for your art too,” she told him after a moment. “If we’re going to go all in on this, we should both have whatever we need to be happy.”
“You make me happy,” he told her honestly, arms tightening around her.  His face buried in her hair, a hand idly moved to play with some of her curls. “Whatever you want you’ll get but… the point is that this might mean living in my former bachelor quarters for a little while.”
“I’ve never actually seem it.  Tell me about it,” she told him relaxing against him, encouraging him to tell her about what was going to be their temporary home in the coming weeks. Daphne and the Duke had been generous but they couldn’t stay in the country forever.
“It’s smaller without a proper staff,” he told her after a moment.  “It’s in Piccadilly near Albany Hall.  It’s certainly less grand than the family home but it is private.  I kept two bedrooms just in case one of my brothers ended up needing to stay.  It’s quite simple though.  There is a pretty nice stairwell to the roof though and I’ve been fond of going up there and taking in the city.”
“I can see why you weren’t in a hurry to end your bachelorhood,” she told him with a small smile.  “I mean, I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times I wished there to be an escape from my mother’s home.”
“I’d say it was a pretty fair trade,” he told her earnestly.  “I’m glad my mother meddled and brought you home to us. I don’t know that I would have convinced you to accept me if she hadn’t.”
“We’ll never know,” Penelope said with a playful smile.  
--
There were almost always charcoals and paper nearby.  Benedict had moments where he didn’t feel inspired but he had taken to sketching in the early mornings before the light became so bright that Penelope would be awake to watch him do it.
It was one thing for her to provide commentary when he was sketching inanimate objects or flowers but when he found himself particularly inspired by the look on her face as she slept or the way the fabric of her nightgown clung to her he was scared of her judgment.
His lips tightened as his eyes moved back and forth between her sleeping form and the paper,  knowing that whatever he put to paper wouldn’t equal to how adorable she when she having a pleasant dream.
Normally he had enough focus to know when she was about to wake, so he could stop but his focus had been on the shading of her curls when he felt arms curl around him from behind.
Her face buried into his shoulder for a moment before looking up.
He heard her surprised sigh and he braced himself for her to say something negative but she didn’t.
“You were sketching me?” she asked in surprise.  Her eyes lit up in recognition of her own form, in the fact that she actually looked quite beautiful in Benedict’s art even when she didn’t see herself as beautiful.
“I’ve been doing a little bit every day,” he confessed.  “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.”
“I’m flattered,” she told him, moving to sit in his lap sideways, moving the charcoals from his hand to the table. “You’ve made me look beautiful.”
Benedict raised an eyebrow at that.
“You are beautiful,” he told her firmly.
Their eyes found each other and he expected her to argue it but instead she leaned in and captured his mouth. It caught him completely and utterly off guard and he knew he froze for a second before melting into it. Her lips were soft and desirable.
One of his hands found the back of her head, fingers curling in the red locks. Between the proximity and her kisses, his body was beginning to respond and warning lights began to go off in his head. It would be all too easy to carrying her across the small distance from his chair to their bed and take her.   He could literally feel himself getting more aggressive with her. He had to stop himself.
“Pen,” he murmured softly against her mouth, when he forced himself to pull back. He was her husband and there was absolutely no reason why he couldn’t do whatever he wanted but he’d always prized himself on being gentle, patient.  In this moment, he wasn’t sure he could temper himself.  He needed to step away but it was difficult with her in his lap, especially when he was cognizant of the fact she was still in her nightgown.
“Is there something wrong?” she asked eyes fluttering open, gaze questioning.
He could have laughed if it wouldn’t have been misconstrued.
“You’re perfect,” he told her, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of her head before gently moving her off him so he could rise to his feel. “—I was just thinking that maybe I should try and find someone to get us some breakfast.”
Penelope frowned slightly from her new standing position.
“You don’t have to go,” she told him.
He wasn’t quite sure how to explain it to her though, especially as his eyes cast over her from the door frame that he’d made a point to get himself too.
“Yes I do,” he said resolutely before disappearing down the hall to regain some level of self-control.
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