#'even if this leads to the end of the world / i dont mind.

[sukunasweetheart]

👀👉🏾👈🏾 Sukuna x Reader ex's to lovers?

wowowow i cant believe im doing like another celebrity au again but here goes nothing ahaha...

i love this trope, i ended up writing a WHOLE, lengthy ass, detailed plotline on it i hope u dont mind <3 (A WHOLE WHOPPING 6K WORDS YALL)

prepare for hella angst, OOC sukuna, insecure fem!reader, ghosting, messy break up, conflicting and complicated feelings + sexual tension and then intense smut @ the end (make up sex)

imagine sukuna being like, an amateur model-turned-actor, with you being his highschool sweetheart, who was there to support him since day one

a very happy, fulfilling relationship for the most part-- until he starts gaining huge amounts of popularity.

youve always known that he was meant and born to reach sky-high levels of success, and you were certain he was going to make it one day

but things get rockier by the second, and insecurity is such an ugly, ugly thing

seeing him model with other beautiful celebrities, acting in roles where he had a love interest to kiss and fondle, reading those gossip scandal articles involving him and another party every few months or so-

it all got too much for you.

all you needed was some reassurance... but young and vivacious sukuna, drunk on this fame and attention, failed to recognise that and left you feeling neglected.

not on purpose tho, he's never engaged in infidelity, he's never gazed upon someone else with lust or love on his mind - he was using everyone around him as a stepping stone towards his own career

sukuna's known you since forever, and he was confident that you knew his affection for you was unwavering... so he failed to understand where you were coming from whenever you brought these things up

arguments after arguments after arguments

the worst part of it was that he wanted to keep his relationship with you a secret. saying something about how having a significant other would slow his progress in his career down... the decision was urged on by the entertainment company that he was in a contract with

it hurt so damn much when he was being interviewed on tv about his romantic life, only for him to tell the world he was single.

it leads to more arguing.

of course, as a rising celebrity, he was quite awfully busy with many business trips and attending a lot of parties and galas

another terrible fight occurred right before he had to leave for a flight overseas but by then, youd pretty much already decided that you were going to leave him

you basically ghosted him, packing all your belongings overnight, blocking his number and all his social media accounts, making sure even all yours and his mutual friends didn't know of your whereabouts. you're going to start fresh. and give him no closure.

it was petty revenge, and maybe immature of you, but you were just as young as he was, and you wanted him to hurt as badly as you were hurting back then.

sukuna's still overseas, having just come back from another fancy gathering and is fresh out of the shower, in his hotel room... he decides he's gonna try and give you a call, but ofc you don't pick up

he sighs and convinces himself that he'll sort things out with you later when he gets back, not knowing that there won't be a 'later'.

meanwhile you're dragging a suitcase out of the apartment, taking a taxi somewhere else far away, crying as you pass by giant billboards that have pictures of sukuna plastered all over

he feels like such a faraway person now. no longer someone who you used to cuddle closely in bed, or hold hands with. you're not even sure of who you are without him anymore.

you could imagine his reaction when he came home, only to find your entire existence missing. seriously, it was like you were never there. you left nothing of yours behind, and the place was cleaned spick and span, not a hair of yours to be found.

when was the last time sukuna felt so panicked?? this dull ache in his chest, as he spams you calls and texts that never reach you

he contacts mutual friends in rotation but everyone is absolutely clueless... he considers filing a missing persons case but then a trusted friend of yours tells him to not look for you... and that you wanted them to relay a message to him, just a simple goodbye.

what the fuck are you talking about?

oh, here comes a severe headache.

his mind is whirring with overlapping memories, thoughts, regrets, thinking about any clues that might give away where you couldve gone, but theres simply nothing

the shock moves into sorrow, then denial, and then it turns to anger. does he mean nothing to you? so much so that youd abandon him without saying a word?

its like he was going through the five stages of grief, but for someone who he knew was still alive..

eventually, he finds a rebound out of spite. if youve left him, then it's means he's free and single, right? he gets himself piss-drunk, and beds another, only to wake up feeling absolutely disgusted. it feels like... it feels like he's cheated on you. even though you're already gone. he's just a mess of conflicting emotions, and it lasts for so long.

the reason why he doesnt hire someone or use some other underhanded method to actually look for you is because of a weird mixture of both his pride and feelings of insecurity, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you do deserve someone better, someone who understands you more... (and he's also fearful that someone like you, might've already found love somewhere else, and he's definitely not confident that he'll be able to act maturely if he sees its true)

eventually, acceptance does come... but does it really?

i like to think he went through many failed relationships, his partners always leaving him upon witnessing him getting intoxicated and calling for none other than your name in his state. someone who no one around him knows anymore.

years pass, and time really does allow you to forget. for both you and sukuna alike. in your mid thirties, both of you are single at this time.

you've been busy with your new job at some company (dont ask me, i was too lazy to decide what kind, so u guys can make this one up bye), and he made sure to keep himself busy as well. no time for fleeting romance.

of course, until fate does that weird thing where it pushes people together again... a new project lands in your lap, where it involves some kind of collaboration with THE celebrity, ryomen sukuna. of fucking course.

you really did desperately try to get it off and pass this off to some other colleague but they insisted your involvement was necessary. what are you supposed to do? you almost decide to quit... but this job means a lot to you... you can't just throw everything away because of an ex... right?

and, oh my god, when the first meeting does happen, involving the celebrity himself, you and a couple other coworkers to discuss the project, sukuna sees you and his brain short circuits for a moment.

he starts doubting his own vision, and then he reminisces, in the middle of whatever the fuck everyone else was talking about during the meeting.

"... Mr. Ryomen?" one of the other participants ask.

he clears his throat, regains his composure and regathers his focus. he's an actor for god's sake. and he starts speaking, with thoughts of you in the back of his mind. about how much youve changed, but also remained exactly the same...

during introductions, you shake his hand and act professionally. his eye twitches. will you continue to pretend not to know him even afterwards? should he talk to you separately after this? no... doing that would mean he's the desperate one...

when you saw sukuna hesitating, part of you felt relieved. so you're not the only one getting freaked out. you don't expect him to acknowledge you anymore, though.

after the meeting, he walks out feeling confident that he's going to ignore you back, if this was the kind of game you're going to play with him. you mean nothing to him, just as he means nothing to you.

but he remembers the shock that went down his spine at the feeling of the warmth in your hand. he watches you take an elevator by yourself, and tries to make a split second decision on whether he wants to let you go, or if he wants to chase you down.

he probably shouldn't bother.

but he impulsively speed walks down towards you, anyway.

youre startled when the elevator doors are blocked from closing just at the last second, with someone's arm coming through between. your heart skips a beat seeing that it's none other than sukuna.

what is this sensation? this mix of fear and... excitement. you should be unperturbed. you're over him. he's someone from the past. you're buzzing with these feelings, but there also comes a creeping resentment that finds its way to you again, as you try to remember why you left him in the first place.

he unclicks whatever level you were heading to, and clicks on the highest level instead. he's gonna take you to the rooftop of the building, where he can confront you peacefully.

"Mr. Ryomen? Is there something wrong?" you ask him. still feigning ignorance. like salt to a wound. you know its another petty move from your part, but you can't help yourself.

"Don't call me that. You know damn well why I'm here," Sukuna drawls, sounding more sad than angry. they've really become strangers.

you grow silent, being hit with a pang of guilt. deep down, you knew you shouldve handled it more maturely than that. he deserved closure, and you needed it too. but isn't it too late for all that now?

the conversation flows tense, but unravels slowly. there's still a lot of questions being withheld though. he wants to ask you how youve been. were you able to sleep peacefully after you left him? why did you have to leave in the worst way possible?

a familiar headache creeps up.

simultaneously, the anger finds its way in his heart all over again. he knows he didn't do much good towards the end of their relationship either but ghosting him was plain disrespectful and childish.

you surprise him when you give a sudden heartfelt apology.

you tell him that you know apologising now after all these years is frankly almost meaningless but still, he didnt deserve to be left behind in that kind of way. you admit that you should've communicated with him properly that you were breaking up with him.

he's left kinda speechless, bc he was so ready to be all snarky to you after everything.. he's still mad, but he can't really say shit anymore without sounding like too much of an asshole.

truth be told, if you did stay around to tell him that you were breaking up with him beforehand, he probably wouldn't have let you go... where would you guys be now, if you never separated?

"i've always wanted to apologise. it's been weighing on me ever since i left."

...and yet, you didn't ever think to call or text him even once afterwards? he never changed his number in hopes for that, and he hates himself for it.

"i understand that you hate me now, but let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. and then we can part ways again."

that one pierces his heart, like a bullet. you haven't said anything technically wrong. he should hate you. or at least, he should feel indifferent by now. and yet... the way that you automatically assume so irks him badly.

"do you really believe that i hate you? aren't you the one that hates me?"

it's a stupid fucking question. what the fuck is he even saying? he wants to kick the elevator door.

"...i left because i thought you hated me, that you didn't need me anymore. and i tried to convince myself that i hated you too. but that couldn't be further from the truth. even now, i don't ha-"

before you can say any more, the elevator doors open, and a small group of employees are standing outside them, looking curiously in at you and sukuna. then, they realise who he is. they come flocking in, asking for autographs and pictures.

you quietly slip out of the crowd, and after giving one quick glance at sukuna, who visibly wants to pursue you again, you walk away to avoid gathering attention on yourself. wait-! dammit- he thinks.

he can't chase after you. he can't call out for you to stop. he can't push all of these people away. if he did, it will cause rumours and unfavourable articles to fly out. let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. his own fame becomes another obstacle between you and him.

back then, you were his whole world, yet somewhere along the path, he started to fail in making you feel like it.

he watches you take the fire exit towards the emergency stairs, while he's surrounded by overbearing fans who beg for his attention. you're going to have to walk down in your heels, all because of him. as he catches the final glimpse of you, as he's reluctantly dealing with his fans, he begins to understand, a little bit. he didn't want to understand why you decided to leave him. but he does now. a little.

a couple of stairwells down, you eventually pause for a moment and sit down on the last step to take a breather. you wipe your sweaty palms against your skirt. the familiar tug at your heart, in which your insecurities come flowing back to you, seeing him surrounded. you need to build higher, stronger walls around you from now.

when sukuna is done on his end, and sends them off down the elevator, he goes off to check down the stairs you went, but you've already booked it. slipped right through his fingers. you were about to say something important. with unresolved feelings, sukuna also takes the stairs down, with a heavy heart. each step down brings him another old, nostalgic memory of you to him.

from then on, the more he interacts with you during work-related matters, the more apparent it becomes that he still harbors feelings for you. he tries to ignore it, push it back down, but it only returns twice as overwhelming.

your voice. the way you smile. the scent of your perfume. exactly the same as back then. yet, he also observes the changes that have occurred in you; how you act, speak and the kinds of words you use, as well as seeing you in such a professional setting rather than personal - everything is coming together to allure him more, and he's in a state where he's unable to resist this attraction, but also unable to act on it, because he's not sure how you'd react to it.

he knows it's not just him getting drunk on nostalgia.

the next time he catches you alone, he makes sure to tell you that he doesn't hate you like you believe he does. you'd never admit it, but that gave you butterflies in your stomach.

in fact, everything sukuna does, even just locking eyes with you for a few seconds, is enough to make your heart rate increase, intensifying when he looks at you almost like... almost like he wants you. you must be imagining things.

he finds himself doing uncharacteristic deeds, like sending coffee for all the staff members. his manager passes them out to everybody, including you. he doesn't know if you still like your coffee the same way as he remembers, but he makes sure that yours is a little different, a little more specific than everyone else's, in hopes that you'll notice these small gestures of his.

over the course of the project, he inches closer to you, ever so slowly. but you don't seem to budge. even worse, you seem to be avoiding him as much as you possibly can. you avert your gaze from his. stagger away when he gets close.

he brings it up on one occasion, when he's able to approach you at the back of the building, where there's no one around, and no watchful eyes of a nosy audience. it's definitely frustrating and unpleasant- when he wants to speak with you, he has to keep distance in case another scandal rises. he doesn't want to drag you into the spotlight, without knowing if you're okay with it first.

sukuna only really talks to you when there's nobody around. maybe he's being considerate of you, but it gives you the impression that he doesn't want to be seen hanging around with you. it makes you remember things you don't want to. it makes you remember that being with him now requires a courage that you're not sure that you have. at the very least, you know you definitely didn't have it back then.

you keep conversations short with him, and try to leave. but he keeps at it persistently. what is he trying to do? is he toying with you?

"you're acting like you want us to get back together. don't do things that'll make me misunderstand," you tell him. you were trying to provoke him. expecting him to deny it harshly and back away, because you knew he was prideful- he'd never be caught being hung up over an ex.

"...and? what if i told you that i do want that? would you stop avoiding me then?" he takes one step forward, and you take one back, proving his point.

why is he pushing aside his ego for you? where did all his arrogance go off to? this isn't how the sukuna in his twenties would've responded. his answer makes you waver, and you don't appreciate that. you try not to show it.

"no. i'd only begin to avoid you even more. so don't start."

"i'm not," you deny, but your voice betrays you. he clings onto that.

"why? ...afraid that you'd cave in to me?"

like the way he's already pretty much caved in for you?

"you don't sound very convincing."

"...would you want someone who'd choose their career over you?"

that stops him in his tracks. he has nothing to say to that. because he did make that mistake. where he prioritised his job over your feelings.

"i don't hate or blame you for that anymore, sukuna. but you have to understand... i don't want to go through that pain ever again. i don't want to hold you back. we both deserve more compatible partners."

your own words sting yourself, and you try to go again right after saying that, because it's getting too much for you. his hand flies out to grab yours out of instinct, to stop you from leaving. leaving him again.

it's really not like him to be the clingy ex, pathetically begging to be taken back, but he's willing to throw such pride away if it means you'll be appeased. if you'll let him back into your life again.

"don't say that. you never held me back-- you were my home and my everything, and i was the one that started to take you for granted," he says gently, his low voice laced with sorrow, so uncharacteristically. you've only ever heard this kind of tone from him once before, and it was when his grandfather, who was like a parent to him, had passed away. his thumb brushes over your hand.

"give me another chance. this time i'll let the whole world know about us. about how much you mean to me."

he gets in close ever so slowly, and you let him, for only a moment, before gently pushing him away, with a hand on his chest.

sukuna hitches in a breath, heart sinking to his stomach. he wants to embrace you so, so, so bad. he needs your warmth. always has been. always will. but he sees that you're unrelenting, which breaks him.

"no, stop... i'm sorry, i can't."

you're still scared. you keep thinking about how lonely you felt when you were with him, at least right before the break up. seeing him laughing through the tv screen. alone in the living room. and all the arguments.

your hand slips out of his, and he lets you go. he feels empty when you walk away. hollow. the similar feeling he felt when you first left him, but less anguish and more despair. when he gets home, he tries to drink those feelings away. something he rarely does. old regrets and heartaches return, and he drinks until he passes out.

while he drinks, you weep. crying into your pillow, wondering if you're doing the right thing. wondering if this is how it's supposed to be. terrified of being with him again, but also terrified of losing him, like a hypocrite.

from then on, sukuna keeps a respectful distance from you... no longer trying to make approaches in secret, no longer pursuing you every chance he gets. but he still sends out coffee. even provides snacks to the crew. little do they know, they're the kinds of snacks that he knows you loved. hopefully, you still do. he'll keep his distance because it's what you want, but he wishes to keep doing these little things for you. subtly.

and you notice it, too. you have vivid memories of telling him about your favourites and preferences back then, and you recognise what he's trying to do. you drink the coffee. and you always grab a handful of the snacks. you do appreciate it. it makes you happy that he remembers. on a few occasions, you turn to look at him, only to witness him looking away at the last second.

it's not too long before the project is successfully finalised, and all their efforts have been rewarded. a celebration is due, and your boss throws a party at a fancy hotel for everyone to enjoy themselves at. sukuna had stopped going to so many gatherings and parties quite a while ago, but he attends knowing that you'll be there as well. he'll see you for the final time before he'll lose any excuses to be around you ever again. it'll be the final night.

you exchange a few words with him at the venue, but the two of you leave each other to mingle with other groups reluctantly, to avoid suspicion. both of you are quite tense all throughout the night, sipping on some wine to ease it, but it still doesn't relax the tension you feel, no matter how far away sukuna stands from you.

a few hours in, and you decide to excuse yourself early to head up into your designated hotel room. your boss covered the expenses for a night, and it would've been a waste to decline it, so you decided to stay. sukuna isn't around anywhere at the venue anymore, so you assume he's already left. you thought about saying farewell, but it didn't seem appropriate after you flat out rejected him. you still have doubts about the decision. because you miss him. but what's done is done, and you can't take back what you've already said.

however, getting to the hotel elevator, you notice he's standing there, with miraculous timing. you awkwardly "hey" him, and he says it back, hands in his pockets.

the two of you step inside when it arrives, and the thick tension remains.

"i'm surprised. i thought you'd be staying around longer for the party," you tell him.

he can't tell you that he found it unbearable, to see you hanging around other people, but being unable to get closer to you himself.

"i just got a bit tired," he lies. "did you have a lot to drink?"

"not at all. i had a few glasses, but i'm still sober."

"same here."

as the lift gets closer to your level, you get antsy, thinking about what to say before you leave, but your thoughts get interrupted when he asks you something abruptly.

"...can i walk you to your room? for the last time."

you swallow thickly on nothing, and feel how your chest aches at the words. last time.

"alright. sure," you say.

he wasn't expecting you to say yes, but he's glad you're letting him stay beside you a little longer. you're staring at the elevator doors, but he's looking at your face from the side. if only the lift would malfunction and stop, right here.

but it doesn't, and soon, he's really walking beside you as you get to your hotel room door, in silence. you unlock it using your key, and then that's it.

"thanks for walking me here," you say rather sheepishly. the thought of him wanting to spend even a few more seconds with you... your hold on the door knob is tight as you stand, face turned around to look at him. it's taking everything in you to stand your ground. last minute guilt and regrets are bombarding your thoughts, and...

"i'll say this now because i probably won't get another chance again," sukuna starts, looking directly into your eyes. his eyes are mellow, and he looks wistful.

"i'm sorry. i realised i never apologised, even though that's the first thing you did for me," he starts. he knows there's a mountain of reasons he is apologising for, but he decides he'll keep this short for your sake.

".. i can't lie to you and say that i wish for your happiness with someone else. 'm not that nice." you know it the best. and you understand, because you don't think you'd be able to withstand seeing him happy with someone else, either.

"find your happiness elsewhere, thanks," he grunts humorously. for god's sake. he's never been good at things like this. being heartfelt. at least it made you chuckle a bit. his expression of indignation melts away into a melancholic one again.

"i still love you." (always have, always will.)

you fight back sudden tears, and your throat begins to ache. sukuna unclenches his fist, and tries to relax himself more.

"and...i'll miss you," he breathes the phrase out. says it so quietly, like it hurts for him to say. (i don't want to let you go.)

something snaps within you and everything starts to scream at you to take everything back, and stop him from going away. don't go- don't go- don't go-

"...goodnight."

he notices your wet eyes, and he has to fight back against the urge to reach out and wipe it away. to rescind his farewell, and pull you into his arms again - forcefully, if he has to. he needs to leave, before he loses control.

you're panicking, and your vision is swimming, and you don't think you'll ever be happy again if you let him go like this-- you're gonna be heartbroken in the worst way imaginable. you want him back, and you know you're being unreasonable after turning him down like that, but you don't care anymore. you want to go against your fears. you want to try being with him again.

before you can stop yourself, your hand catches onto the hem of sukuna's sleeve, seconds before he takes another step away from you.

his eyes widen, and he looks at your grip on his sleeve, like he's checking to see if it's real, and he's not making this shit up in his mind. his heart beats impossibly fast. his hopes skyrocket. the world decided to have mercy on him.

"...you're being unfair, grabbing onto me like this. after i went through hell just now, trying to say goodbye." he's being awfully patient right now.

you don't respond, only silently weeping.

he waits to see if you'll let go, whether this was just an act out of a temporary fickle in your heart, but your grip remains tight, and you're now just looking up at him with tears rolling down, eyes glossy and desperate, pulling at his heart strings. you only let go when he comes back to you, not hesitant to brush his thumbs across your face now, wiping the wetness away.

"what do you want me to do? tell me, and i'll do it. leave? stay?" sukuna coos at you, like he's always done before, waiting patiently until you've calmed down enough to respond properly.

"i shouldn't... i shouldn't let you in. not after how much i'd pushed you away," you whisper. today was supposed to mark the end of it all.

he doesn't even give a fuck about that anymore. what matters is now.

"...but do you want to let me in?"

"...yes," you hic.

he takes a couple of steps forward, making you step back with him, his hand on your waist to make sure you don't trip on the way. he goes past the doorway and into your hotel room slowly. one- two- three- steps. he closes the door behind him quietly.

"and..? what next?" he asks in a low voice, standing close to you, one hand still remaining on your waist, and the other on your upperarm.

"i... i don't know. i just need you," you mumble, looking up at him, eyes red from crying and half-closed. your hands inch up along his back, grabbing handfuls of his suit jacket. sukuna hitches in a breath and something dark flashes across his eyes. they reflect his desire, his almost carnal desperation for you-

"forgive me. i don't think i can hold myself back, anymore."

he captures your lips in his, and groans shamelessly into you. you grip onto him tighter, heart beating so rambunctiously that you fear he can hear it too. it feels too good. the moment he reached you, it felt like the final piece of a puzzle clicking in to complete a full picture.

you part your mouth, and he wastes no time in slipping his tongue inside, kissing you in the way he knows you love, in the way it makes your lips tingle, and, oh god, even after all these years, he still knows how to get you going like no other.

sukuna tastes the traces of wine on your tongue, and even better, he tastes you, the one he'd been missing and craving all this time, the warmth of your skin and touch, your scent, just everything about you, you, you.

he backs you towards the bed, without breaking this breathless, hungry kiss, where he softly lays you down, with him being above you, chest to chest, arms supporting his weight. he momentarily pulls away from you simply just to breathe, and the two of you gaze at each other for a hot second, full of love and lust, breaths overlapping one another. he attempts to ask you "do you still wanna continue?" just in case, but before he gets to say a word, you grab him by his tie and pull his lips to yours again, beginning to loosen it and take it off.

he understands that you want it, now. you successfully manage to untie it, somehow, with just willpower alone, and you start aiming for his buttons next, undoing them one by one. your actions send sparks down to all of his limbs, and he feels so fulfilled by your desire of him, being as intense as how he obsesses over you.

soon after you're done with it, he takes them off and chucks his own clothes away, rendering him half-naked. your hole clenches around nothing at the sight once he pulls away again, his firm muscles and the same old tattoos that you vividly remembered the patterns of. you greedily run your palms across his pecs, eyes turning to hearts. he smirks at you.

it's his turn now, and he doesn't hesitate to start undressing you as well. sukuna gets dizzy at the thought of being able to feast his eyes on your body. he dives in to keep kissing you, and then begins to unbutton you with such speed, it almost startles you.

it's off. your breasts are out in the open now, and sukuna has his fill with massaging them with his large hand, having missed them so much. his palm feels so hot, and your nipples pebble up at his touch, making you gasp into his mouth.

his kiss moves over to the side of your face, it glides down your neck, shoulders, and eventually reaches the swell of your chest. your fingers brush through the pink of his hair as he does so, and you purse your lips together, basking in the feeling of his warm kisses littering your skin. he leaves you hickeys-- the same shape and size and same locations as he used to even during your days in highschool, and you chuckle to yourself at the thought.

it's not long before he's loosening your skirt and slipping your undergarments down, getting rid of your slick-stained panties, much to his satisfaction. sukuna rubs a thumb over your aroused clit, and you whimper, having missed the touch of a man- his touch specifically.

"fuck... you're so wet.... all for me?" he asks, proceeding to slip two fingers into your weeping hole. you arch your back at the feeling, how his thick digits scissor inside of you and press up against a particularly lovely spot. he watches your every response as he does so, watching how you moan because of his touch, and how you're grabbing at his wrist because it's getting too intense. his cock prods uncomfortably against his pants. you're producing so much slick, and his fingers are getting absolutely drenched.

when he takes them out, you whine a little in disappointment.

"i know, i know. i'll give you something better," he whispers, kissing your cheek.

he unbuckles himself, and lowers his boxers to reveal his aching dick, tip wet with precum, veins bulging out the sides. looks the same as you remember. he pumps it a couple of times with his hand that's still covered with your slick, and he twitches. this isn't a dream, is it?

"oh god, please, i need it-" you plead, your hole feeling eager and empty.

"it's all yours," he mumbles. your begging makes him lightheaded as he lines himself up at your weeping cunt.

"i'm all yours."

when he sinks in deep to the hilt, you cry out at the fullness, as his tip pushes the spot inside you that had been feeling so lonely for years. your hands finds themselves against his back, feeling for his tight muscles.

"shit- 'm gonna lose my mind," sukuna groans as he gives a few shallow thrusts into you, cock so hard and throbbing wildly as your plush walls clamp on him and coats him with your arousal. he grabs one of your hands from his back and interlocks his fingers with yours against the mattress, before leaning down to bring his lips against the side of your neck.

"oh, thank god... thank god, you changed your mind. i love you. i would've been so fucking miserable without you, doll. for the rest of my life," he croons, breath fanning so close to your ear. you shudder at the tone of his voice, tearing up again, mixed with pleasure and relief, and you grab his hand tighter.

you turn your head a little more to the side, making it easier for sukuna to bite and suck on the sensitive skin of your neck, as his thrusts increase in speed, nudging your g-spot with every movement.

soon enough, he's bringing his attention back to your tongue, which he caresses with his own, nibbling on your lower lip, maintaining this same perfect pace in his thrusts that brings you closer to your orgasm.

"sukuna- i'm- i'm gonna-" you say breathlessly.

but he merely kisses you again, swallowing up any words you could say or moans you could let out, not minding the gasps and whimpers that you make.

sweat beads on his perfect body, and he makes out with you through your high, groaning back when he feels your walls flutter around him. he's close. even once you've finished cumming, he begins to pound into you quicker, wanting to get to his own orgasm. you claw at his back, crying out in pleasure, as sukuna's tongue lathers your jawline.

he wants to breed you so fucking bad. but no, that'll have to wait. he can't do something to jeopardize your trust in him. he'd rather die than endure another second of being distanced from you again.

right before he's pushed off the edge, sukuna pulls out and desperately jerks himself off above your stomach, panting as his cock throbs in his hand with every spurt that coats you, feeling so hot against your tummy.

you feel a twinge of disappointment, because you also wanted to feel that in your womb...

his dick twitches weakly after being spent, and he breathes heavily, liking the sight of you being covered in his seed for another time. (and many more from now.)

" 'kuna... it's a safe day for me today," you suggest to him without thinking. "i want it inside me..."

the phrase is enough to get heat pooling in his abdomen, and he feels himself get hard all over again.

"you sure, doll? if it's what you want, i'll..." he begins to say, almost flustered by your suggestion. you know you shouldn't say this next line, but it's so easy to get carried away with this man... get caught up in the heat of the moment.

"i want your babies so bad."

you've hit his switch. sukuna growls and puts you into a mating press instantaneously, making you squeak.

"no takebacks," he mutters dangerously, beginning the second round.

the night is long, but heavenly, as soon after he dumps everything he has into your womb, then proceeds to eat you out, making you cry for the third time before sunrise.

when you're awake, it's already heading past midday, and you're relieved to see that yesterday's happenings were not a dream, seeing as the large man is sleeping with an iron hold around your body, as if subconsciously afraid you'd leave him before he woke up again.

he awakens from his slumber to your light, feathery touches on his face, which puts him in a good mood from the moment he opens an eye. it was the scenario he's always dreamed of. waking up next to you, smiling.

there's much to talk about. about what's to come next, future plans, worries, and things they need to do to make amends for all the lost years between each other. but you decide to take things slow.

back to bullet points again bc im lazy to write it properly now

you spend the weekend w him at the hotel and stuff, just playing eating and sleeping, catching up yk

he tells you on his own accord that he wants to let everyone know that he's with you now, but he's worried that it'll bring backlash to you but you tell him you're going to be brave and take it, bc you WANT everyone to know

anyway prepare for turbulence

but everything'll be alright bc hes with you

im thinking about how mopey he'll be when you have to separate from him bc you each have your own homes rn, hes always asking you to come over or if he can come over to your place

and he'll be begging you to move in soon, like old times (he lives in a rich man house now tho)

and also thinking about how its a fresh start, but they also go through old memories and now reminiscing isnt painful anymore bc yall are back together

sukuna also says he's stopped doing romance genres in acting bc he had felt annoyed acting in lovey dovey scenes when his own love life used to be in shambles all the time

and bc hes at a point in his career where he has more choice in choosing between scripts that are offered to him, he's going to continue to decline the ones that have love interests, it doesnt affect him that much anyway

he's just being more considerate of your feelings now... and you promised him that you'll never just disappear like that again when you're upset haha...

sometimes when you still have a few disagreements with him, he keeps subtly checking up on you (hes traumatised, leave him be)

lots of facetiming when he has to go overseas for filming purposes <3

okay, thats all, bye <3

Masterlist

[sunfortune]

hiiii i recently watched kanthony (the so called bridgerton show or whatever) and was wondering if u have any fic recs... 👉👈🤭

okay i litchrally have never compiled a list even tho ive been asked before bc i have read too many to keep them organized. but ill do it. Finally. for YOU.

first. my fav period setting fics <33:

tete a tete by caciopepebowl (14k~) this is REQUIRED reading to ME. its a quick read that explores kate and anthonys roles in their family. with an emphasis on KATE specifically bc of the additional hurdles of being a woman with limited funds. and anthony losing his mind on her behalf while shes breaking his heart by being like "the way i was treated was normal?? you dont know anything" and hes like "what? kate you deserved everything. you deserve ALL the love in the world!!" and shes all ">:( well if i do. you do too." . and hes like "oh. well...no. you see.. bc i suck" and shes like -_-. its really sweeeeeet and lovely <3) and really finally gave me the exploring of kates family issues that THE SHOW DID NOT!!!

the longest betrothal by caciopepebowl. (90k~) my FAVVVVV regency setting fic. its sooo good. its basically a continuation that fills in the gap AFTER they get engaged but BEFORE theyre married. and them trying SO hard to be normal about how in love they are lol. SO funny and sweet. and with IMMACULATE characterization

in vino veritas by wagamiller. (~10k) a one shot about kate going to a ladies society event and coming home drunk to anthony and him being soooo smitten with her. sauuuur cute. ive read this like 4 times <3

for reasons wretched and divine by penny_loaf. (~18k. locked fic. need an account.) basically kate and anthony get stuck in a time loop on that first day edwina is receiving suiters. they both think theyre alone in the loop and its depressing until they realize the other is stuck with them too. they try to break the loop and fail repeatedly. after a while they just give up and start fucking bc theres no consequences so who cares LOL. surprisingly tender and sweet

the harsh light of day by burnerraccount. (~22k. locked) explicit one shot. kate has the idea that they should fuck before they get married so theres less pressure on the wedding night. she decides all this without mentioning it to anthony (LOL). so she shows up at his house the night before their wedding. and his footman is like "theres a woman outside to see you" and he in all his goofy almost-married bliss is like "i dont want to see Any woman but my gorgeous, beautiful, amazing WIFE" and his footman is like "well. you see.. it is your wife. uh fiance" and anthonys like "[voice crack] huh ?". very FUNNY

green in its many hues by burnerraccount. kate and anthony decide they are going to be chaste and proper leading up to their wedding. they suck at it SO bad lol

next. modern AUS my best friends <33:

la semi dolce vita by caciopepebowl (~170k) my FAVVVV modern au of ALL time. kate is a private chef. anthonys family hires her when they go on vacation. hes being so normal about it. i promise. this is one of the best characterizations of kate AND anthony in a modern setting. with an extra emphasis on focusing on kate issues. and not JUST anthonys. which is what makes the dynamic sooo good. 10/10. hot. and i love LOVE <3

close encounters of the acutest kind by caciopepebowl (WIP ~74k. only incomplete fic ill put on this list i PROMMY. bc its by the prev author. and i Looove their writing and its sooo good so far <3) kate and anthony meet for the first time the DAY her dad died which is also the SAME DAY hyacinth is born. theyre both having a panic attack and end up running into the same empty hospital room to have it. are then intrinsically linked forever. as one is. run into each other multiple times over the years. with different feelings each time. and they are so normal (lying) <3. i love them

chosen & cherished by trash4ficsaboutlurv. (~42k) this is so underrated. kate runs a charity organization. anthony is CEO of whatever the fuck. she goes to his company when theyre holding some audition for what charity theyre going to invest in and kate is the last speaker and when its finally her turn he doesnt even pay attention. and shes exhausted and overworked and just oveeeer it All. so she just ends the meeting and tells him to go fuck himself. LOL. genuinely really good. and hot <3

sidelines by ramarro. (~60k) this was THE quintessential kanthony modern AU in 2022. took a far fetched premise and somehow made it soooo good. and hot. and cute. kates an artist who sees a picture of anthony on tinder and thinks he looks obnoxious (lol) but screenshots the photo so she can use it for sketching practice. and then she see him and his grown ass on a date with her BABY sister. and shes like well i was right about him. and lets him know to his face how she feels (LOL). its wild. it slays. read it. theres an explicit follow up to it which also slays

three cities and we never lived here by ramarro. (~25k, ~40k) very different modern au where kate and anthony meet on vacation and are very casual with them both not looking for anything (genuinely for once lol) and then seeing each other multiple times over 2-3 years in different cities and still keeping it casual. but slowly slowly slowlyyyy it doesnt feel as casual as it used to. theres 2 fics in this. the first is kates pov. the second is anthony. both very good.

just go with it by suitsusboth. (~18k) kate when booking a flight sees the potential titles like ms, mrs, dr, and "viscountess" listed as a legit option and has a laugh like whos picking this goofy shit and accidentally clicks it. and then on her flight gets upgraded to first class next to anthony bc they assumed she was his wife. and he tries to be mad about it. but well. hes stupid for her in every universe so lol. funny and sweet

the air i breathe and the bane of my existance by the_loosest_moose. (image fic) these are textfics told through instagram, twitter, article and text message screenshots. with some regular text. would just check them out to gauge how you feel about the storytelling method. very fun reads once you get the hang of it

heirlooms by waterlilyrose. (~12k) modern au where kate gets anthonys ring stuck on her finger for days and has to wait to get it off. he is of course very normal about it

a devils love by irony_rocks. (~57k) this may not be for everyone but kanthony season came out around the same time as the batman (2022) and as someone who was crazy insane about both. this was the MOMENT for me in spring 2022. its a crime mafia type au where kates character is inspired by selina kyle and the pebble lounge where she worked in the batman movie. and well. if youre about that specific combo check it out. if you arent i wouldnt recommend this lmao. its not a batman au

break point (series) by penny_loaf. (multiple. ~25k) like prev this entire series gets kind of dark bc it really delves into the pressure of the world its set in. on TOP of the issues kate and anthony already have. i LOVED it. BUT also i am an ANGST and crazy, complicated characters STAN. which may not be the case for everyone.. but again very GORGEOUS to ME <3 and hot. LOL

take me home by kendal_lynne. (~12k) romcom type explicit one shot where kate makes the mistake of telling anthony her ex couldnt make her come. and hes all like i volunteer as tribute PLEASE PKLEASE PLEASE PICK ME CHOOSE ME PLWASEE etc

we never made a sound by writergirl8. (~4k) spy au that was soooooo good and sexy. i wish it was longer

with elaichi by serendipityinwords (~6k) the two biggest bitches at a dinner party find out they're soulmates. LOL. hilarious dialogue

theres probably more i loved that im not remembering rn and maybe ill update this but for now have fun! yippee <3

[mooncheese3]

DISCLAIMER: this version is different from the prev post on this au (vvv) in that this is the only incarnation of sj that ghost!yqy has encountered, and bingges dont keep popping up for a shizun. but yqy still goes down the simon petrikov route of self sacrifice for loved one(s)

ok so ghost!yqy in the modern world with reincarnated!sj

So. after pidw. yqy's physical body didnt survive, but his spirit Did. he failed sj so many times already, he's not going to fail him again, and through sheer determination and love and want he put himself back together (as hed always done)

him fixing himself wasnt really bc of his rational mind. if anything it was a glutteral, instinctual Need that really pushed him to mold himself into a being all over again. however bc his spirit is binded with xuansu's, on top of his spirit almost disappearing bc of how much scattered, bringing the pieces of himself together took a LOT of time

by the time he took form, sqq was long dead

not sure if he shouldve been the one to end lbg, but itd be kind of cool if that was the case

and so yqy, whose entire purpose is to protect sj, roams the world looking for his reincarnation

in the background apocalyptic shit happens that leads the world to abandon and/or forget about cultivation, which leads us to the modern world!!🥳

sj still has a hard-knock life on the streets and then with the qius--can u tell im a sucker for the history repeats itself trope. he doesnt remember anything, but he Does feel like someone is missing. like someone that Should be there Isnt. its a constant feeling in the back of his mind, but he always pushed it away to focus on the now.

like what happened in his first life, sj has enough of all the abuse and kills qjl. what Changes though is that yqy is finally--after thousands and hundreds of years--on time

yqy burns everything down.

sj isnt sure what to make of this malevolent being. no one else but him can see it, though people /can/ see when it moves things around. people have always mentioned to sj that they feel like someone's watching them, though when they look around no one is looking their way

it makes people leave him alone, which is honestly what sj prefers

its (he's?) his savior and he makes him feel safe, yes, but who knows when that wrath gets directed at himself. his head is screaming at the threat yqy poses while his instinct and soul tells him hes safest with yqy. for a long time sj walks on eggshells around yqy, sometimes trying to escape his presence

his attempts always fail, though. somehow.

he eventually starts to warm up to yqy. sj has a feeling that this...thing was always meant to be by his side (as illogical as that sounds). he no longer has that feeling of a missing presence, something he'd felt since he'd developed a consciousness as a very young child

sj even finds the ghost a bit endearing, in his infinite gentleness to contrast his terrifying, sharp form. he doesnt understand why the ghost is so protective over him (the ghost once almost flew into a destructive frenzy over everything except him when he and his team went to investigate a deep, unexplored ravine that appeared out of nowhere), but that was endearing too

— RAMBLES BC I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GONNA TYPE NEXT (ITS BEEN A FEW MONTHS SORRY) —

one day sj got tired of calling the ghost “the ghost”, so he decided to find him a name. the ghost seems to have an opinion on this, as his thick eyebrows turned downwards every time sj called/proposed to him a name to be referred to. the progress was non existent, so sj started spouting out random characters and then later on numbers. when sj gets to “qi”, the ghost very excitedly straightens up from its seemingly perpetual hunched posture.

“7?” sj snorts, finding it a little funny. who knows, perhaps spirits loose their marbles the longer they stay amongst the living. he watches “qi’s” eyes crease into happy crescents, the shadows seeping away from his form retreating back into himself. his form looks more solid: less blurry and more clearer at the edges.

“lao qi, you really are weird” sj says fondly, though is inwardly confused when lao qi seems to deflate a little. perhaps he didnt want to be reminded of his age?

"what, do you want to be called xiao qi?" qi's eyes twitch, as if weirded out. "thought so. qige?"

at this, qi's eyes widen into two happy suns, joyfully—on instinct—coming closer. but then stops himself a pace away, as if remembering himself

sj raises a brow, "youre far too old to be called qige; im many generations your junior, yknow? youre basically my grandfather's ancestor's ancestor"

qi's eyes droop into despondent half circles. sj carefully doesnt say any more, recognizing that it may be a more sensitive topic than he thought.

SORRY YUE QI </3333 BUT </333 ... ITS FOR THE GREATER GOOD

THAT I AM GOING TO EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW, BUT NOT VERY WELL DONE:

in canon, sqq and yqy are stuck in the past. it keeps them from growing as persons and as. brothers? friends? Potential Lovers. Yes.

in this au, it is especially so for yqy, who loses himself the more he clings to the past, his promise, and sj

when he first died, his soul was at risk of being destroyed, scattered pieces and all. but because he put himself back together, he Could reincarnate into his next life. its just that he refuses to.

had he allowed himself to move on and accept that things have passed, he would have been able to start over anew in the modern world; perhaps even changed the course fate seems to have set on them for the better Without his soul suffering for it

sj reminding him that hes from an era long gone serves as one of many instances that help him come to terms with. dying? moving on. Yes.

ON THE TOPIC OF YQY'S SOUL MOVING ON.

i was thinking just now How that would happen, esp when in this au yqy's soul is like. one wrong move away from self destruction, xuan su's still binded to him, yqy letting go of sj after roaming All Those Years? Very hard., its the modern world so supernatural cultuvation stuff is almost entirely out of the picture, sj is like 25 what would he know about these things, etcetc that sort of stuff

but then i was like. "WAIT A MINUTE. THIS IS AIRPLANES WORLD. TRUE LOVE IS TOTALLY A VIABLE SOLUTION"

so. True love is the solution. true love saves qige💗

and then in their next life its the ultra ultra modern futuristic au and theyre pilots of mega robots 💗 /hj

OH. AND. THIS IS THE SONG I GOT THE DIALOGUE (???) FROM

[fluffyartbl0g]

Redraw of the panels that SHATTERED MY HEART o(；△；)o!!! OG panels + Opinions on the Luffy separation arc under read more

Okay let me just go on a tangent about my feelings about the post-series Luffy separation arc, cause I think it gets way too much hate when it’s such a heartbreaking and well executed deviation from oda’s standard formula!!! I know that we all love monkey d. luffy and he’s LITERALLY the main character of the series, but it was also really nice to get more time to focus on the rest of the crew. But here’s the thing, even when Luffy wasn’t here, he was still here. And I’m not talking about the so called ‘blessings’ or whatever that kept SUSPICIOUSLY popping up around the crew when Luffy disappeared, I’m talking about the consequences that arised from him disappearing. We truly got to see how grand the effect luffy has had on the world around him, and how many lives he was able to touch ; - ; So even though luffy physically wasn’t present (I mean KIND OF but you know what I mean), this was still VERY MUCH a luffy arc imo. 

Oh man but I think Oda wrote luffy’s disappearance so well,,, I was sobbing for like 80 percent of this arc. Like just gradually seeing the crew’s deterioration as time passes by,,, but everyone has such unwavering faith in their captain, he HAS to come back cause Luffy always comes back. But here’s the thing, Luffy didn’t know what was happening to him when he started disappearing. But what he DID know is that he wasn’t sure if he was gonna be able to come back or not. And Luffy hates breaking promises- he’d never make a promise if he didn’t plan to keep it, and he’s not an idiot either, so when he just felt himself disappearing and saw zoro nearby... Instead of saying something like “I’ll be back!” and potentially making his crewmates wait for him forever, he tells zoro to “take care of the crew”... SOBBING AND CRYING T - T. So YES. the crew has unwavering faith in their captain. But. Luffy didnt say that he’d be coming back or anything. So what are they supposed to do really.

And it’s really hard to read at some parts, like it never loses the goofy tone that has been there throughout all of one piece and it’s really sweet to see everyone rely on each other to keep one another afloat, but the slight tension that keeps building up over the months while they keep looking for clues and answers... And how each lead keeps becoming a dead end... When it builds up and Usopp finally voices the thing that’s on everyone’s mind.

Oh man. I started crying so hard. It took 6 month for any one of them to say something. Like this is One piece. Of course Luffy is gonna come back eventually, it would be waay too dark otherwise... But Idk man, even I started to doubt that :((( But luckily. THIS IS ONE PIECE. So right after everyone started,,, well not exactly losing hope or anything (maybe a bit)? but going BATSHIT INSANE FROM THE REALITY THAT THEIR CAPTAIN MIGHT BE GONE FOR GOOD, they finally got a solid actual clue of what might’ve happened to luffy!!! And I’m SO GLADDDD!!!!

Omg and when they tracked down the pray-pray no mi user and finally got some answers out of him. OMG WAIT A MOMENT I REALLY LIKED IS WHEN PRIEST GUY IS LIKE “urerheg without luffy up there as a god the entire world may very well be destroyed cause the sun has been super unstable for centuries blah blah” and then Nami freaking PUMMELED THE GUY AND SHOVED HIM DOWN WITH HER STAFF AND

SOBBING CRYING SOBBING. THEY WOULD POTENTIALLY BLOW UP THE ENTIRE WORLD IF IT MEANT THAT THEIR CAPTAIN WOULDNT HAVE TO BE LONELY ; - ; KILL ME.

URGH I was really hoping that Luffy would return right once they beat him up cause I really really missed my boy, but honestly I think the final method of getting Luffy to return was super clever and absolutely worth the extra 3 weeks of waiting!!! I know that it was foreshadowed across the whole West Blue Saga and everything but I honestly had no clue it would end like that, DONT MAKE FUN OF ME :(((

When the crew finally got their captain back after 8 months of waiting... I mean they’ve been separated before for even longer periods of time, but they always knew that they’d be back together. This time they didn’t know. BUT AREHAHRGE ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING WAS SO WORTHIT WHEN THEY ALL FINALLY REUNITED T - T!!!!!! UWAHHWHAHWUAAGGHA!!! AND SEEING ALL THEIR ALLIES AND FRIENDS THEYVE MADE JUST CHEER AND CRY WHEN THEY HEAR THE NEWS!!!! I WOULD CHUCK ALL THE PANELS HERE IF I COULD BUT ID JUS T REACH THE IMAGE LIMIT BECAUSE ALL OF THEM MADE ME CRY ; - ;!!! Literally just read those 5 chapters in the arc finale cause,,,, man so good T - T

Anyways TLDR: The post-series luffy seperation arc is NOT BAD and you guys are JUST COWARDS AND LIARS!!!!

[catcze]

oh btw i know that a werewolf is a pretty obvious pick for your newest man but he does look like he'd make for a great vampire who has to actively resist the urge to feed on you because "your blood is... so sweet... and you're so... enticing... just a taste, please..."

or not! who knows ehe <3

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

「 CWS : 」 A little suggestive due to the intimate nature of blood drinking, but nothing sexual or even leading up to any sexual activity happens. That being said, if ur bothered by Wrio finding the reader tasting delicious + Reader enjoying being drank from a lot, maybe dont read;;; this is 2k words of non-sexual intimacy and love and trust !!

I have a confession;;;; I really really really love the vampire x human trope,,,,,, even just a teeny tiny bit more than I do the werewolf x human trope,,,, so,,,,, SO,,,,,,,,,, vamp! Wrio is setting all kinds of good signals off in my brain rn;;;;;;; i have;;;;;; many;;;;; many thoughts;;;; ON MY HANDS AND KNEES DONT LET THIS FLOP PLS 💔💔💔

You're on his lap. Wriothesley's on his chair, hands practically clawing into the armrests. You wouldn't be surprised if he'd rip it. His eyes don't know where to look— they flit around every inch of his office, avoiding your own. But they always end up glancing back at your neck no matter how much he tries to pry them away.

He gulps.

"You're hungry."

"I'm not," he immediately denies, ignoring the way his fangs ache at just being able to smell your blood so close.

You frown. "You haven't eaten in a week, Wrio."

"I have—"

"Animal blood doesn't count. That shit can only work for so long, and you know it."

He swallows, hands clenching even tighter, nails digging into leather armrests. He looks away from you, rendered silent.

You watch him as how he tries to ignore you. Delicately, you place a hand on his cheek, urging his eyes back to meet yours.

"Why don't you just ask me?" You murmur. "You know I'd say yes. You know I'd do anything for you."

His face twists. "That's the problem," Wriothesley says bitterly, teeth clenched. Even from here, from the limited view you have past the curl of his lip, you see how his sharp fangs gleam. "I— if I drink from you, I won't want anything else. Ever. I already have a hard enough time just being around you, but if i get even just a taste..." he trails off, swallowing. "You're all I'm going to crave, sweetheart."

Wriothesley expects you to pause or hesitate. Maybe even extract yourself from him. He wouldn't blame you. Ever since the first time his thoughts betrayed him and he wondered what you'd taste like on his tongue (honey and nectar and heaven and ambrosia, all in one) he's been so careful to hide how he hungers for you, lest you think he's a monster who'd hurt you for his own gain.

In an ideal world, you never would have had to see him like this— starving, thirsting. Every single cell in his body urging him to get on his knees and beg you for just a taste. He'd get the fear and the apprehension, even though it'd crack a little piece of his cold, unbeating heart.

But you just roll your eyes and unbutton the collar of your shirt. leaning down so the side of your neck is right within his sight. His mouth dries as the thump of your pulse comes ever closer, freezing him in place.

"You're not going to hurt me," you say, conviction in your voice. You inch closer.

Wriothesley feels another part of his self restraint collapse.

Against his better judgement, he's actually thinking about it now. He crumbled so fast that it might be a little pathetic, he knows. Maybe his mind is addled from the hunger, maybe he's addled by his hunger for you, but he knows that he's fraying with every millisecond that you spend so close.

"No, not— not there," He protests quietly, even though he's itching to reach out and sink his teeth into your pulse. Fuck, you smell delicious up close. He's damn near losing his mind here, the object of his love and the greatest temptation to his gluttony practically sitting on his lap, offering up something that he's craved for so long. Still, he gathers what bits and pieces of his restraint that he can and manages to gently nudge you back, just enough that he can think without being driven mad by the idea of his mouth on your neck.

The protest is already ready on your tongue, but he takes a gentle hold of your wrist instead, pressing a kiss to the tips of each finger. His thumb rubs gentle circles into the skin, and the pulse under his fingers makes the emptiness in his stomach increases tenfold.

"Here," he tells you. "It'll be easier to push me away if you need to."

You say nod, pushing your wrist closer to his mouth. "Drink up," you tell him. He pushes away his hesitation, and with one last lingering kiss, he presses his mouth to your wrist and bites.

And fuck, he was right.

Heaven and sunlight and euphoria bursts on his tongue, making his brain practically short circuit. Wriothesley concludes then and there that compared to you, anything and everything else he's ever tasted was bland in comparison. He can barely even attempt to describe it— with each drop you willingly give, his hunger is both sated and amplified. A sound escapes him, a mix between a groan and a whimper muffled into your skin.

When you hum, warm fingers carding through his hair and urging him to take more, he feels like he ascends. Acting on instinct, his arm snakes around your middle to hold you in place— to keep you close. His grip on you is firm, but he's careful not to dig his fingers too hard into your skin.

And as much as this is affecting him, it's affecting you too. Your head grows light in the best way possible, like you're experiencing a euphoric high. You scratch a bit harder at his scalp, pulling a desperate noise from his lips that makes you tremble in his hold. You'll sit here for as long as he needs to feel better, for as long as he needs you.

Quicker than you would have wanted, Wriothesley reluctantly pulls away. By then the color's only just started to come back to his face and he's panting like he's been on a brisk jog. He looks much less sickly, yes, but you observe with a frown that he's still not quite yet at tip-top shape.

Hesitantly, almost reverently, he presses a kiss to the wound on your wrist, then gives the smallest of licks. it tingles, but after a moment the sting of it fades to a dull throb, and then nothing. But before he can push you off, you're leaning down again, same position as before, with your neck in his line of view. An open invitation.

"You need to drink more," you murmur. You try to ignore the rush of blood in your face, the tingle in your core. For as much as he was scared of getting addicted to you, you fear now you're getting addicted to him, too.

"I shouldn't," Wriothesley says, barely above a whisper.

He should push you off— should let you rest. Should wrap you in his coat and get you some water and a snack after you've already let him drink so much of you.

It had been hard enough to resist earlier, but now? Your blood is pumping so hard he can practically hear it. And you taste so sweet. You had made the slightest of noises when he fed on you— he doubts you even realized it, what with the haze you were in. Just the smallest of whines when he drank from your wrist, but each breathy sigh and whisper of his name was enough to make him crave more.

A small, traitorous corner of his mind wonders if you'd be even more vocal with his teeth on your neck.

He swallows, knowing he's already fighting a losing battle. He's so, so weak for you. His one arm doesn't budge from around your waist, but his hand moves up to cup your cheek. He drags your eyes to meet his, and you can see the seriousness amidst the hunger.

"You tell me if anything hurts." Wriothesley's arm around you tightens almost imperceptibly. "Anything. Please."

You hum, happy, nuzzling closer into the cradle of his grip. "Okay. I know you'll stop if I ask." And oh the faith you have in him has heat pooling in his gut and a foreign pressure grow behind his eyes.

His voice is hoarse he says, "Yeah sweetheart. Of course I will."

He comes close and you shift your head, giving him more space to work. First thing he does isn't even bite— he buries his nose in the crook of your neck, decorating your skin with kisses and licks and nips, delighting in the small protest of 'that tickles!' that he elicits from you.

You let him shower you in affection a little bit more, but eventually your hand works into his hair, tugging. "Okay, no more stalling," you say, breathless. "C'mon, time to eat."

And he's still nervous of taking too much— can feel his stomach roil at just the thought of hurting you, but he trusts you. Trusts you as much as you trust him, too. So he takes another deep breath, presses one last tender kiss to your skin, and sinks his teeth into your neck.

A small whisper of him name escapes our throat just as a groan leaves him because fuck— you taste even better. Flavor multiplied times what feels like a hundred, making his cold cold heart do flips and tricks in his chest. The hand you bury in his hair tugs, pulls, but brings him closer instead of away. You push him further into you, begging him to take more, and he happily obliges.

Wriothesley presses kisses and licks to your neck between drinking down mouthfuls, making sure not to waste a single drop. He's pulling you against his chest so tightly— hand bunched in the back of your top that you fear he might rip the fabric, but you decide that you don't really care if he does.

With each drink he takes, each satisfied, muffled noise that leaves him, you feel yourself melt more and more against him until you're boneless in his hold. Despite how he drinks as if it's his last, he still has the good mind to shift you a bit higher in his lap, to make sure he's holding you comfortably. His hand rubs soothing circles into your hip, and he tries to recline back into his seat as much as he can so you can lean into him.

Your heart pounds even harder, the blood rushing to your ears, and you think he feels it with the way his hunger seems to double.

Your eyes are half-lidded, gaze hazy and growing sleepy with each progressive second. But it doesn't hurt in the slightest. You feel warm, if anything— warm and happy that you were able to help him, and make sure he's well.

He's slowing a little. His hunger finally abating and making way for something more tender and soft. You scratch his scalp lovingly and lean your head against his. A sweet, sleepy kiss pressed to his temple makes his pace falter.

Wriothesley soon separates himself from your neck, pressing a kiss and a kitten lick to your newest wound. Like the one on your wrist, it tingles for just a bit before any stinging or pain vanishes entirely.

"Hey baby," he murmurs, pulling away slightly to look at your face, but making sure his arm is still wrapped around you. To keep you steady, to remind you that he's here. He smiles a little at your happy, dazed expression, but even now you can see the lingering worry. "You with me?"

You respond with a hum, nodding as best as you can. "Yeah. 'm okay."

Wriothesley laughs a little, watching you stumble over your words. He lets you fall flat against his chest with you head hanging on his shoulder and cradles you against him. One hand goes to twine your fingers with his, desperate to hold you as much as he can, and the other snugly tucks your head under his chin. In his embrace, you feel the beat of your heart gradually slow back to a calm. It leaves you boneless and tired, the crash of it all finally hitting you and making your eyelids flutter.

"That's good." You can feel the rumble of his voice in his chest. "Did anything hurt at all, honey?"

You shake your head. Too tired to look up at him, so you squeeze his hand instead. A kiss is pressed to the apple of his throat. "Nothing. I'm just tired, 's all. I'm fine."

He holds you closer, the lump in his throat making it hard to speak. "Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Thank you, my love. Let's get you something to eat and drink, then we sleep— how does that sound?"

You just hum your agreement, limbs feeling heavier and heavier with each passing second. Wriothesley places a kiss to the crown of your head. With utmost gentleness, he cradles you in his arms as he stands, trying not to jostle you as he makes his way out of the room.

"I love you, sweetheart," he murmurs, heart growing three sizes in his chest, arms full of the most precious thing in his world.

You bury yourself further into him. "Love you more, Wrio."

[ #Taglist registration here !! ]

[starryylies]

Do you think Simon is the type of guy that say “Dress however you want,I can fight”???I think he is..but still he will punished us for teasing him and getting him into trouble :)

Simon punishing you in the bathroom

Omg Hii!! Thank you so much 4 the request I love it aaaaa

and yes I totally agree that si is the type of man to be self assured and say that butttttt you make it hard sometimes but for that you get your due punishment :3

Anyways I hope you enjoy 🩷🩷🩷🩷

You both had decided to go out this Friday night, you were all glammed up wearing your lil white dress with shimmery star like sparkles on it

You were quite reluctant on wearing the dress though since it showed some skin and you felt insecure regarding your body :(

You looked like a goddess in Simon’s eyes though

You looked like an angel in flesh

He swore he would make himself worthy of you and that he would protect you from the outside world

So there you were,

With a possessive arm draped around your shoulders as you walked by the courtyard

reaching to a magical entrance filled with aromas of many a thousand of dishes which were being cooked inside the kitchen

You were so hungry,

drooling even because of the smell of the food

you were enjoying your date with Simon in the restaurant,

until~

You decided it would be a little fun to get him all flustered and play a little game

You slowly hiked your heel upto Si’s crotch rubbing circles there while maintaining eye contact

“you’re playing a dangerous game princess” he said giving out a warning followed by a dark and somewhat soothing chuckle

You kept quiet continuing the ‘game’,

getting soft grunts and winks from si

But then the waiter arrived,

Maybe you had too many glasses of wine or maybe you were just losing your mind,

You decided to go further and tease Simon by flirting with the waiter

Oh this was gonna get more fun you thought

Locking eyes with the waiter, leaving flirtatious cues, brushing your fingertips against his hand

You felt like You finally had the upper hand

Or, so you thought (you don’t )

Si’s fists were clenching in anger.

The second after the waiter left he had to restrain himself to not bend you over then and there to pound into you everyone (the waiter) knows you’re his

So he abruptly got up taking ahold of your wrist leading you to the restroom

“ fuckin’ brat had to rile me up didn’t ya look at ya, so fuckin hungry for my attention” he grumbled out.

Going inside,

He closed the stall keeping you close to him as he roughly yanked off your panties with his left hand

“flirtin’ with the waiter right infront of me, I wanted to rip his fucking eyes off” The words came out like spitfire from his mouth as he held you close with his right hand

You could feel his hot breath on your face as you reached up to give him a soft kiss as an ‘apology’

It was followed by a rough and desperate kiss from his end as he pulled your body closer to his.

“You look so beautiful today but you gotta remember who ya belong to princess” he said softly In between the haste kiss

He then started leaving trails of sloppy wet kisses on the nape of your neck while slowly rubbing your throbbing clit

“FuckkkFuck siiiii it feels nice go on” you moan

“Ya want me to make ya cum with my fingers dont’ ya love”

“Yesss siii pleaseplease” you moaned out softly as you gripped his shirt,

The pressure on your clit and the wet kisses left made you so close

“Are ya close princess huh? Tell me?”

“Yessss si m so close” you whined out

As you were about to reach your orgasm simon yanked away his hand

“Siii why’d you do that” you cried

“Cuz bad girls don’t get to cum now do they princess?” he said teasingly as he straightened his shirt out and fixed his cuffs

“Sii I beg ya please lemme cummm” you whined

“No, Not a single word till we get home princess” He says sternly while you pout :(

As you fix your dress and yourself you try to take your panties which are next to Simon’s shoes

As you bend over to pick them up

Simon is quick to grab them before you

“But sii i need them :((‘

“Dirty little girls don’t get to wear panties and trust me you won’t be needing them princess” he smirks getting out of the stall undazed

leaving you to be a poor horny lil mess for the rest of the night :)

[quaritchsbunny]

Tsu’tey as a Yandere - 1/2 (hc styled fic)

Wc: 4.8k Warnings/Tags: tsutey x f!Reader, human!reader, yandere behavior, stalking, obsessive behavior, tsu’tey is a bit scary here, traditional yandere kidnapping, Jake makes a cameo, Tsutey refers to the reader as mate. A/N: So uh.. I dont know why the full thing ended up being 8k either but enjoy this first part (this is one of the most mid things i’ve written ever but)

Extremity Scale: 4/5

Type of Yandere:  Overprotective, desperate, violent (not to reader), slightly manipulative

-The forest of pandora gives, endlessly, mercily, and without seeking in return as long as the energy of life is respected and cycled properly

-Bioluminiscent ferns lit the trodden soil in the cool nights, guiding ways to hunts, hometree, waterfalls, and spirit trees alike, animals graze on the herbous plants that made themselves home to the forest floor, age old trees and forests that served to harbor navi, young viperwolves, pandora gives and gives, only taking what was necessary for survival

-And so does a particular warrior of the Omaticaya Clan

-Tsutey was no rookie to the cycle of sacrifice and giving in the life of a navi

-He had given everything to be the sculpted, skilled, and scorn sigma he is now

-Climbing through the piles of tasks, waking up before the dawn everyday to dedicate his every breath to the clan, muscles trained to protect even if eyes were closed in deep sleep

-Ever since completing his coming of age trials, the tribe held no candidate for the next olo’ekytan other than the overachieved young man that had rose through the ranks like it was his destiny to be the best, at everything and anything

-Whether it was direhorses, ikrans, or even thanators, the creatures of pandora bowed at his will and he was able to tame his first ikran at the record setting age of 8

-His physical ability was no surprise either, the young man who hunted with the accuracy of the eye from eywa, though never taking more than the clan needed

-His loyalty to the omaticaya was also unmatched, always the first to lead a hunt, offer his share of food to a young navi, training adolescents, taking up any dangerous risky situations in the name of assistance

-He gave his all in absolutely everything he did, his heart pumped beats of dedication to his clan, strong arms working to hunt and support the people he loved, mind laid down solely on the purpose of serving his community, giving, giving, and giving more

-It was his nature, and though he seemed like an intimidating, judgemental man in the eyes of other members of his clan, he never complained about doing what he had to for his home

-However, it seemed that the more Tsutey gave to the world, the more they took from him instead

-Draining him of passion with piling the responsibilities, looking eyes, and hovered breath on the next olo’ekytan in line 

-Suddenly, the kill he brought back from hunts didn’t seem enough, hungry eyes always seem to ask for more, more, more

-Suddenly, more and more tasks were layered on to him with no specific reason

-At first, they only took his energy, his loving nature towards the clan became more of a scorned pain as he dutifully agreed to risk his life over and over again

-The tasks eventually drained him of the humble, dedication he had clung to over the years, his pride only settling in the growing reliance and place of authority and respect he rose to be in the clan, because the members themselves didn’t exactly see much other than that

-While others his age were able to scamper about finding mates, he was stamped day and night at posts in the forest acquiring materials for the people

-But what could he do? It was for the greater good, and in any way, who would step up to do it if it wasnt him? If it wasn’t the prodigy warrior of the forest clan who was much too good to be true?

-Then when the sky people began to settle, everything began to be snatched from the corner of his eye

-It all began to collapse with the damned avatar, Jake Sully, strolling into the tribe Tsutey had sustained and supported with his bare hands for years and accepted without much of a protest from anyone in the tribe

-He had to give more and more, investing in a person he didn’t even want, training him, leading him to tame his ikran

-Before he could even prove his point of the avatar being an infiltrator by demonstrating to the clan, the newbie had snatched his promised mate, neytiri, right away from him

-Truthfully, tsutey knew deep down he and neytiri didn’t feel anything for each other besides mutual respect, but this was a hard blow from the hard resolve he had been holding onto since life began to drain him

-It seemed unfair, even a sky person could find a mate in a little less than 3 months, what contributions had Jake even made to the clan other than clumsily stumbling through hunts? All Jake was is another taker, another person who relished in the harbor of the home tsutey fought to protect, gave everything for, taking everything without appreciation

-Tsutey was tired of it, drained after neytiri announced her and jake’s union, he was done

-He was done with giving

-He was done with the rituals he dedicated himself for in the greater good of the tribe

-His heart still pumped loyalty, but his heart was also tired

-Tired giving and giving with no return.

-Maybe it’s his turn to take something. For his own. 

-After all, he deserves it more than anyone

Tsutey’s trudging through the forest, arrow in hand even though he didn’t intend to hunt anything. He wanted to take something, out of spite, just to prove that he can own something, something that belongs to him. Take something instead of giving himself out until he’s hollow. Show that he didnt have to be the sacrificial honorable clan warrior he always takes on. 

God, when was the last time he’s been in the forest for a purpose other than for serving the tribe?

Lost in his thoughts, he stopped marching through the soil angrily.

He had been stomping on the grounds that gave him life, gave him everything, the air he breathes, the fruits he savors, and now he’s taking his anger out on the forest for the stress he’s been feeling

Staring into the muddy reflection in the water, he sees eyebags, cracked face paint for the most recent hunt, bright free strands of air tinted red at the end looking distressed

The bright pandora night vibrates around him, as he takes deep breaths and continues pacing onto “his spot”

The spot he went to unwind and relax before Jake sully came, before life seemed to take more and more from him. After a bit of sidetracking and remembering paths, he arrived

However, something wasn’t right

He inspected the moss surrounding the area, still green and vibrant, the tree branches, though now longer, still extended from the same angle from the main trunk, what is it?

He took a deep breath to process before it hit him. A scent. But not just any scent, a human scent

His blood boiled, finally, he had came to his spot to relax and unwind and even that's being taken away from another sky person

Another one? Did Sully send an extra spy?  He thought scornfully as he quietly trailed the scent

Stepping closer and closer until it was certain to be near, tsutey narrowed his lime colored eyes, four nimble fingers running against the auburn of the wood cylinder on his arrow. Searching for a small frame that smelled of soft cotton until he spotted you. He gulped. 

He softened a bit at your dress, instead of cargoes and thick vests that the human warriors wore with their heavy firearms and came to suck Pandora dry of its resources, you were wrapped in a crisp lab coat, the same kind his childhood teacher who taught him english - Dr Augstine-  used to wear. He could see your back, as you were hunched over on the ground, delicate hands trembling as stray locks fell from the messy scrunchie ponytail you held your hair in as some strands were held under the snug band of a camera around your neck.

A scientist? Tsutey pondered, pupils dilating as he snuffed out your scent, trying to distinguish it under the blouse that fit you snugly.

God, you were all wrapped up in unnecessary layers of sky people layers like a gift for him. And oh god did he wanna take you.

With the grace and expertise of a trained warrior, he stepped closer without making a sound, ears tipping towards your direction to pick up signs of why you were laying on the ground

Suddenly, his senses picked up a strong punch of blood, he gulped as he realized it, a small patch of red under your arm that spread through the pristine white of your lab coat. But it wasn’t your blood.

He tilted his head to catch a hint of a pali (direhorse) foal, bleeding out as one of it’s small hooves caught painfully onto a split branch, you had pulled it out and were now wrapping it’s hooves 

His heart tingled as you cooed softly, admiring your gentleness as your fingers curled around hoove, pressing the human gauze into the wound as you layed down, wet soil mulching into the flappy ends of your lab coat as you treated the foal

Oh never in his navi life had he wished so desperately for eywa to take his soul and put it in the injured direhourse, he wanted to feel this cotton sky girl’s touch, your gentle fingers that ran across the deep injuries he stuffed away to give endlessly to others. 

Never in his navi life had he been so grateful to have his sharper senses, and exceptional eyesight, built to sculpt out the tiniest of movements in the dim nights on pandora even without bioluminiscent plants helping, it was the reason why he was basically a arms length away from you but can smell you, see you, and just almost feel you like you were next to him. Where he was so sure you belonged

That was when Tsutey decided to take you

Well, not immediately, and definitely not because of the way his world seemd to melt and his instincts sharpened to smell you, hear you, and god- he imagined touching you.

He closed and eyes and imagined it, splitting resolutions of holding you underneath him, your pretty little body, so much smaller than his, biting into your lab coat as he mated and-

No, that's not why he decided to take you

He obviously only wanted to observe you as a potential prisoner of war and another alien sky person he can bring back to the tribe to show how the invasive species have been encroaching more

That’s exactly why he decided to silently move boulders around your path, gritting his teeth as he lifted the heavy rocks three times his size, silently gliding through the lush forest and blocking every possible way you had to reach the RDA lab or even contact them again, creating a nice enclosed radius so that he can observe this prisoner of war (charged for stealing his heart)

After the inital trap was set. He waited. You seemed to finally come to your senses to let the foal heal on its own when the night settled matte black around you

His heart pierced with thrill as he began to smell your panic, your widened eyes and your useless flimsy arms that tried to push over the boulders a certain navi warrior planted to capture you (what were you thinking? You couldn’t move these without the strength training tsutey had from wrestling ikrans, silly girl)

After a while, you and the pali foal both lay down in the opening of “his spot”, which was an intimate cave, decorated by tsutey’s memories with the vibrant yellow paint on the stone walls. 

Even in a threatening situation, your eyes stayed glued on the foal, muttering in fluid english under your breath about it’s “adolescence” and “need for its mother” as you took off the crimped ivory hair band that bound your now dissheveled hair, wrapping it around the foal’s 

Hmm, maybe Tsutey wouldn’t immediately take bind you and take you back to the tribe, not because he was getting soft for you, but clearly because the foal needed more treatment

His heart almost swells in pride, finally seeing someone take care of Pandora with the same hospitality it gave, with the same hospitality tsutey gave. What else could he possibly do? You were so helpless and he was the only one who could possibly help you in this situation!

That night, he found himself in a trance, tail swatting against the cave happily as he watched you sleep after you took pictures of the foal for documentation (funnily enough, you wanted photo evidence to show your coworkers back at the lab, like you were ever gonna see them again), when he heard soft puffs of air from your nose becoming slow and steady, he decided to take the pali foal back

He tread carefully, until he gently uncurled the foal from you, its hoove still wrapped in your scrunchie. 

He had made the smallest move in his boulder, dropping the foal off at the nearest direhorse den before rushing back to you. His heart beat with the unfamiliarity of taking something, so unapologetically, so fearlessly, but everything felt so right. The scrunchie that had been wrapped loosely around the foal’s hoof was now clean of blood and bound tightly around his own wrist, the ivory color complimenting his azure skin 

By the time he made it back to the cave, the morning eclipse had risen, light slowly pouring into the mouth of the cave. He watched slowly as you woke up, panicked when you didn't see the foal anymore. You groan, the sore in your shoulder from sleeping on the stone floor of the cave becoming stronger as you stand up. Still dazed and slightly panicked as you made your way around, uslessly pushing the stone boulders that remainedl stiff and restricting. You had given up on leaving, and instead curled up on the forest floor, sighing as fat tears rolled down your cheeks. What have you gotten yourself into? Is this what you deserved for helping out like an idiot? All you wanted was to nurse the poor foal and guide it to safety like a decent human. You had no means of communication with the RDA or the lab, and now you’re stranded all alone without even a source of water or someone to talk to.

Well, while you might’ve been right about having someone to talk to, you definitely weren’t alone.

Tsutey frowned when he smelled the saltine tears and heard your sniffs. Had he messed something up already? He was doing a huge favor for you! You were just a bit too overwhelmed to see it. Was it so bad for him to seperate you from those resource hungry humans that couldn’t possibly appreciate your kindness and generosity towards Pandora like he did? Questions raced through his mind, and unfortunately he knew exactly who to ask. And he quietly tread out, the slight crunch of a boulder moving unnoticed as you lay on the ground, scared and lonely. His poor mate! She’s all worked up, clearly she hasn’t ever had someone court her in such privacy, maybe she needs some food to calm down, that's it!

Tsutey sprinted his way back to hometrree , swinging by his hut for the briefest second and giving a sleep deprived scowl as he got the biggest straw basket he could find. On his way out, he pushed aside any adolescents pestering him for training lessons and respectably denied any hunt leads with a shallow bow of his head, not giving them a drop of attention of time.

Tsutey had just gotten to the base of hometree, arms clad with a basket full of fruits and a canteen of water before a familiar, english dialect infected voice sounded. “Tsutey, hold on!” the newly mated Sully scampered forward, awkwardly holding out his five fingers for a handshake as if he didn’t already know navi didnt like those

Tsutey turned the other cheek, not wanting to waste more of his darling's time on the awkward conversation that was sure to follow with the avatar. 

“Listen, I just wanna say I never knew you and Neytiri were-” Tsutey huffs impatiently, red strands hitting the side of his cheek as he looks to him

“It doesn’t matter Sully, I don’t care anymore” Tsutey says, feet already taking him down the path to the forest

“H-hey wait, whose scrunchie is that?” Jake calls out, fingers around tsutey’s wrist as it caressed the distinctly human design of a hairband

Tsutey nearly swung the basket at Jake's face when he felt fingers touch something so precious, the only possession he had from his mate. “God, Sully, planning to steal my actual mate from me now?” the words came out without filter, and he can see Sully’s amber eyes widen as the words computed

“What?” The avatar exclaimed in full english, numb fingers falling from the scrunchie as Jake blinked his eyes hard as if he was hallucinating the conversation

Tsutey rolled his eyes, he knew he shouldve just got going instead of talking

“Well, since you’re here anyways, mind telling me some human friendly pandorian fruits or anything that can make them more comfortable?” It wasn’t a request, more of a demand as Tsutey picked the canteen of water off the ground and into the basket again

The dumbstruck avatar shook his head “Wait- Tsutey- who even”

“I’ll answer after you tell me what a human scientist female’s favorite fruit can be”

With Jakes help, Tsutey was able to acquire a makeshift blanket, which Jake had emphasized was very important for humans and their comfort in sleep, some pandorian fruits similar to popular earth fruits, and Jake even helped Tsutey write a note in English to go in the basket full of goodies to comfort your captivity status

Jake almost offered to follow along with Tsutey to be an interpreter, and Tsutey almost fought him on the mere idea. How dare Sully judge his English skills? What if he helped his darling escape? He shook the thoughts out of his head and made his way back to where you were instead, thoughts heavy as his arms cradled the heavy basket of goods for you

Although Tsutey was excited to claim you as his officially, he wanted to subtly ease into it, with small signs and mating gestures. What you definitely didn’t need right now was a 10 feet navi overwhelming you

Plus, what could he possibly say? “Hey, I just saw you yesterday, I love you, I love the way you do everything, I love that you healed an animal, I need you to be my mate, you make me feel like a valid person again, and I don’t even know why I’m so attracted to you? You’re too pure to be hanging out with your breed and I’m just acting the initiative to protect and take what’s meant for me”

No, all those words were useless, and anyways, Tsutey was always more of a physical and show over tell person, so he’d slowly earn his way to your heart, no matter how twisted it is because in all honesty, it shouldn’t be hard for you to accept since he was the only one you’d be interacting with in this enclosed piece of the forest

So, he dropped the basket off, as your overwhelmed frame was curled up in the corner of the cave, back facing the opening as you sniffled before you were interrupted with a clad thump agains the stone floor

You sprang to your feet defensively, hands in front of you as if you were gonna be able to defend yourself from whatever the forest of pandora had to offer

Your swollen eyes narrow on a handwoven basket, overflowing with things sitting in the opening of the cave. Were you hallucinating? Did you die or was that a basket full of fruit that looked awfully familiar to what you always craved as a kid? 

You slowly creep closer to the basket, looking around the opening of the cave, stepping out to completely scan your surroundings for any movement or sign of another living mammal that could’ve dropped this well-coordinated basket of essentials

After spotting absolutely no one except for hearing the hint of polymeruses hooting a few hundred feet away (tsutey was actually hiding on top of the cave, perched elegantly as he watched you scan your surroundings like a cautious cat. you were too short to see him from that angle.) you decide to settle back into the sunlight of the cave opening, carefully peeling back the thick woven blanket as a crumple of paper fell out, your fingers frame around it, deciphering the english even through Tsutey’s rough handwriting (nothing you weren’t used to as a lab scientist)

“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just can’t let you go now that I’ve found you. Please just eat and stay healthy right now, or I might have to show myself a bit earlier than I’d like and feed you. I hope you like the blanket.” 

Your hand shakes as you read the note. So it wasn’t any coincidence? Someone had seen you and trapped you here? When? How? Why? Your heart raced as you ran through the millions of possibilities, but all of the panic was gone as soon as you saw the canteen of water. God you were thirsty, you hadn’t drank in how who knows how many hours it had been since you last drank anything. The canteen was downed immediately and tsutey’s hand unclenched when he heard you drinking.

There was progress! You’re allowing him to take care of you, more or less, mate or not. 

You picked up a fruit, ripe, washed, and about the size of your palm. Biting into it reminded you of moments on earth when they still had fruits, before most fresh foods went extinct as people prioritized corrupt tech industries and manufacturing over agriculture. You look at the fruit in wonder before you take a second bite, relaxing and reading the note again, sighing as you accept your situation

Well, goodbye to your underpaid, overworked position at the RDA, your heart did twinge at the fact that an unknown person (person? Navi? Pandorian mammals that can speak and write English, who knows) had intentionally trapped you. But if they were nice enough to give you fruit, water, blanket, and even the grace of a handwritten note, there’s no way they can be that bad, right?

Tsutey’s face carves into a rare, toothy smile. Holding back a heart chuckle when he sees you chew through the fruit and visibly relax. See? You were so perfect for him, you had just been hungry and panicked before.

By the time you finished, you decided to set the blanket up in the corner of the cave that you slept in, putting your heavy camera down in the basket as you lifted the blanket. You inspected the woven material, trying to decipher any hint of where it came from, it seemed to be made of fur with a base of what felt awfully like woven bamboo. You recognized a traditional omaticaya pattern and from the scent left, it smelled of a male. 

For an unknown reason, the scent relaxed you, you gulped and beat yourself up in your head. Why were you sniffing a blanket a stranger gave you? God you were being even creepier than whoever was holding you captive here.

You had decided to dispose of the remains of your fruit (the big pit in the middle) by replanting them, you head over to pull them out of the basket before you realize it’s gone without a trace, and so is your camera, all left is the note.

Your heart picked up, realizing whoever sent you it had been actively watching to make sure you ate and finished, before taking it.

With a lighter mindset about your current predicament, you decided to pace around, examining the strategically placed stones as you explore the little area around you. It was nice, to be honest, it seemed to be a hideout spot. You pace back to your cave, you couldn’t see it last night due to the lack of light but you make out little paintings on the cave, hint of life and creation. Could it be that many people have been here before? Was your capturer regularly kidnapping humans? How many have been here before?

Dark thoughts rush down your spine with a chill as you take a deep breath, closing your eyes and trying to think rationally. Why would they take the time to feed you and keep you alive, going as far as giving you a blanket? You knew Navi well, they acted on their intention and if your capturer had wanted to kill you, you’re almost sure he would’ve done it, or at least send you back to his tribe to question it

You wonder if it could be an avatar? You hand’t known many Navi to be able to speak English. You shook the opportunity away, there was only Jake, who had assimilated well to the omaticaya tribe now and would never go this far out from the main village.

Your mysterious captor, on the other hand, was rushing back to the home tree and gushing to Jake about how successful the first basket of goods had been, demanding Jake to tell him more ways of earning a human female’s heart as he rushed to fill the basket up with a variety of goods. 

Jake picks up the RDA scientist issued camera, recognizing it as he tilted it, flipping through your previous photos. 

“So, a scientist? Interesting, Tsutey” Sully says lightly, watching as tsutey again denied any regular tasks and strode around, looking for something new to give you to eat

Tsutey’s head flashes to the camera as Jake clicks through it, multiple photos of your lab results and the recent picture of the injured foal lighting up on the screen.

“Suppose so” Tsutey says in english, peering through the dialog of your photos

As Tsutey scowls through the the puffed grain selection, scrutinizing each one as if he doubted if it was good enough for you, Jake silently clicked a photo of Tsutey’s frame, chest leaned over the basket as his toned arms reached to select the most perfect of grains. He then closes the camera and slips the black machine back into the basket wordlessly

By the night time, you were leaning against the trunks of a tree, examining the bioluminiscent moss that adorned the wood before you heard a quiet tap on stone floor

You look back towards the direction of your cave, recognizing the basket as you see it loaded with more food, what seemed to be puffed grain, and your camera returned.

You weren’t exactly famished yet, so you picked up your camera first, opening the lens to snap a picture of the moss. Might as well make the most tof your time here as a scientist and not just as someone held captive. The screen loads but lands on a recent photo in the dialog instead of the lens perspective and you catch a pretty full photo of sleek, toned arms, the beaded layered neck cover adorning his upper chest as he leaned over a familiar basket as nimble fingers sorted through grain, the blue skin clad against woven strings of a loingcloth that hung low on the hips. And ah, there, the scrunchie you had wrapped around the direhorse yesterday, cleaned and sitting cozy on his wrist. There was a hint of a tail but photo ended at the chest, giving you no identity information without the face

The corners of your lips lifted in admiration and your heart raced as the pieces fit together, so it was a navi who was watching you and caring for you, taking the time to hand pick out your food. You recognized the sculpted form of an omaticaya warrior anywhere. And who took the photo? Not many navi knew how to operate a modern camera

Questions float through your head, and from his spot on the roof of the cave, Tsutey’s heart leapt too. Damn the sully, of course he snapped a photo using your machine. It was lucky enough that he didn’t expose his entire face, but his thoughts were quenched as soon he saw your little grin while you stared at the photo. His photo

You smile one last time, clicking a save to the photo of Tsutey before you go back to the lens to take a photo of the moss. Your second night in the cave was spent munching on puffed grain, huddled in the musky pine scented blanket as you dreamed of beaded neck covers and toned blue arms.

[bluerthanvelvet444]

ᯓ★⋆˚𝙿𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚖𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜⋆｡˚ ⁀➷

(Peter Maximoff x fem!reader)

tags: sfw and nsfw.

warnings: none.

character count: 7k.

this was a request!

ᯓ★⋆𝚂𝙵𝚆⋆｡⁀➷

He LOVES playing games with you.

Peter was often bored, being locked in his mother’s basement led to doing the same things over and over again. This is why he loved playing games with you, no matter if they were board games or card ones, he was utterly fond of the idea of games ending in many different ways and sometimes taking different turns, never knowing if a game could last minutes or hours. He would throw game nights with candies and junk food. He really liked playing Cluedo, especially roleplaying the whole thing, he would get SO into the character, many times taking it personally when he was accused of being the murderer, always doing accents and creating a whole backstory (even if not needed). He believed it was “funnier” this way…but really, he was just a dork by nature. He enjoyed Monopoly too, although getting into the character in this game would often lead to him getting SO mad when things started to go bad for him. He claimed he was “the best gamer of all times” but in reality was actually pretty bad, especially with strategy games since he tended to act impulsively without logic. Many times you had to let him win to avoid cocky tantrums and just getting his ego hurt.

He is constantly spoiling you with gifts.

His main goal in life was owning the "Twinkie" company being the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. So whatever you desired, he gave you.

“Look how cute this is Pet-” You started while pointing at the picture of what you wanted, and before you knew it, Peter left your room at the highest of speeds just to come back in the blink of an eye with the thing you were just talking about in his hands.

“Gotcha.” He winked with a cute smirk.

“Peter! You didn’t have to. You probably spent so much for this…” You said, feeling guilty.

“Who said I paid for it?”

He takes you anywhere you want.

You mentioned wanting to go to the beach? He took you there in no time, not even letting you put your swimsuit on.

You dreamed of going to Paris? Sweep. Two seconds and you were taking a picture under the Tour Eiffel while he was holding a baguette and had a fake mustache on.

In the little time you started dating him, you already visited more places than you did in your entire life, and your bedroom was full of polaroids of you two around the world. This counts for concerts and other things too. He’s basically a free VIP pass.

He always matches your mood.

If you wanted to go to the cinema and watch a movie, he would sneak you two in the theater, stealing popcorn and all types of soda.

If you wanted to party hard and just forget about everything for a night, he would throw the BIGGEST party in the x-men’s mansion, just for you.

If you wanted to stay home and relax, he would grab a comfy blanket and a few snacks, cuddling up against you. Either spooning you or being spooned.

He hypes you up no matter what, he’s your biggest fan.

You were out shopping with Peter, so you took the chance to try some dresses on. You were in the changing room, looking at your body in the mirror. Many thoughts were flowing in your head, you didn’t know if you liked or hated it. Peter slightly peeked from the curtain.

“Babe are ya don- HOLY SHIT!” His eyes widened at the sight of you.

“Do you like it?” You asked while still looking in the mirror.

“Like it? Ya asking me if I- if I like it?! Are ya out of yer mind?! I dont like it! I love it!” He opened wide the whole curtain.

“Mh…I don’t know if this really fits m-” You were cut off by Peter suddenly grabbing your shoulders.

“Fits you?! FITS YA?! Babe.Ya need to get this right now. It was made for you- Holy shit! It looks like it was tailored to you!” He grinned widely.

“i don’t kno-Peter!” You exclaimed as he picked you up in his arms.

“YER STUNNING. Gorgeous! Breathtaking! Damn! Yer really my girl? I’m the luckiest bastard in the world!” He carried you in his arms out of the changing room.

“SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND! HEY YOU! YES! SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND! I’M THE LUCKIEST BASTARD IN THE WORLD! WHOOOOO!” He shouted excitedly to the whole store while you covered your burning cheeks and begged him to stop.

He likes watching you put on your makeup, occasionally attempting to put it on you, too.

His tongue poked out of his mouth as he tried to blend the foundation on your skin.

“Why’s this taking so long?!” He huffed.

“Peter, that’s an eyeshadow brush.”

“Oh.”

ᯓ★⋆˚𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆⋆｡˚ ⁀➷

He’s horny 24/7.

Because of his speedster genes everything his body did was faster than normal. It was sooo easy to get him hard. You could’ve been either provoking him or doing nothing.

You were laying on the bed, your boyfriend spooning you from behind. You pressed your back against him, earning a groan from him. Thinking you accidentally hurt him, you turned to face him, just to find a visible grown bulge in his pants.

“I barely touched you…” You teased.

“S’the speedster genes…” He whined.

He’s such a switch.

You were sitting between his legs, your back pressed against his chest. His fingers slipping in and out of your entrance with unholy sounds.

“Mh…Just like that, babe…takin’ it so well…” He purred in your ear, causing loud moans to slip out of you. He kept speeding his fingers more and more, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. Not wanting to finish alone, you suddenly changed positions, straddling him and stroking his length from his pants.

“A-ah…please babe…” He was already a subby mess under you, whining and begging you for more.

He’s open to all types of sex with you.

Fast? His name is quickie for a reason, his body will be blurred by how fast he will be.

Slow? Mhh…It will be torture for him but, sure, anything to pleasure you.

Loving? He could be hugging you from behind, gently thrusting in you and whispering sweet words and moans in your ear.

Rough? Absolutely. He’ll have you screaming his name as loud as possible. Oh, and prepare for a loooong night, the speedster genes help a lot with his sex drive.

No toys!

One thing he will never accept is you using sex toys. Why on earth would you use a miserable piece of plastic to please yourself when you have him?

He can be a vibrator, a dildo…everything! And a good one too. Whenever you need to feel good, just give him a call! He will drop everything just to have fun with you. Don’t tell Professor X that.

Quickies in public are more common than you think.

With him being always horny, he often found himself staring at you for longer than usual, which sent heat waves straight to his core, even in public.

“Babe…” He started with whispering your name in your ear, his body pressing against yours from behind.

“I need you…” He whined, subtly rubbing his hard-on against your ass. You questioned him, reminding him that you were in public.

He quickly brought you inside a public bathroom. His hands desperately grabbing your body.

“Please…I’ll be quick…” He groaned against your neck, sucking the skin gently. As soon as you agreed, you found yourself pressed up against a wall and his clothes immediately coming off.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

taglist: @cxndiedvi0lets @angeldollw @marchsfreakshow @dangeroustaintedflawed @yandereunsolved @newwavesylviaplath @happy74827 @evpeters87 @dont-look-behind

a/n: hiiii!!! my first headcanonssss...tried to put more dorky canon peter. hope you like them!!🩶🩶

all rights reserved!!

[zeltqz]

the ask was for a sanzu x fem reader nsfw and they’re both getting high together in the car and they do the thing where they bloke smoke in each other’s most and one things leads to another. But I thought it would be funny of on the middle of their sesh, ran calls and idk you could decide if he answers or not. Lol

— mile high club

ø contents: smoking, smut, possessiveness, fluff, takeomi slander ish bc i hate the mf, friends to lovers, mutual oblivious pining, akashi brothers' mentioned beefing

o word count : 7.1k.

ø notes: is it even a sanzu fic if i dont include some sort of tension and psychological explanation to do with the neglect he faced from Takeomi? no? ok anyway...

@wenumsmol 🫶🏾

The sun sets over the streets of Tokyo when you park the car in the garage of the Akashi household, having dropped Haru off at home since you’re now his designated driver because his license got suspended for reckless driving.

“We’re here.” The car shuts off when you turn the key, both hands resting on the wheel like the professional, respectable driver you are. “Now get out of my car.”

Sanzu groans from the backseat, laying flat on his back, hand splayed over his forehead, the cold heat from his hands doing wonders to soothe his burning headache. 

“Oi.” Over your shoulder, you peek at him, fighting the urge to poke him awake. “I said we’re here.”

“I know.”

“ So…get out?”

“I don’t wanna.”

“You don’t—” You bite your words, stopping yourself to give yourself time to take a deep breath, soothing your bubbling frustration before it erupts. “You don’t want to enter your own house?”

He raises a long, slender finger, pointing insistently out the window. You follow his gaze to the back corner of the garage, Takeomi’s bike perched on its stand. 

“Ohhh,” you realise, unbuckling your seatbelt to turn and face him fully. “Well..you can’t avoid him forever.”

He removes his hand from his forehead, eyebrows knitted, forehead creased as he glares at you. “Watch me.”

“I’m serious, Haru.”

“So am I.” He’s sitting up, face stern and serious, you swear his green eyes practically glow in the dark as they catch the edge of the yellow tint garage light. 

When it comes to Takeomi, Haruchiyo mainly plans on avoiding him at all costs, dodging him around the house, wearing headphones at full volume just to drown out the sound of his brother’s voice, not coming back home for days on end, rather spending the night at yours or Mikey’s house.

He’s developed different coping mechanisms : talking to Mikey is a big help, though Mikey isn’t one for therapeutic advice, he’s still willing to lend a helping ear and listen to Haruchiyo rant on and on. It’s not much help though, only hearing responses like ‘ hm ’ , ‘ oh ’, and ‘ah’,  maybe if Mikey has a little energy left in him, he’d nod occasionally, but that’s about as much help as you’d get. 

His second coping mechanism is you,  someone he’d befriended a couple months back and kept you by his side secretly ever since, using you as a personal chauffeur and a therapist, but more importantly a best friend. Someone who’d be there for him without judging him and his dirty secrets; someone who likes to be around him not because they’re scared or intimidated, but because they enjoy his presence. 

He cannot be in the right state of mind when talking to his brother, not wanting to remember their interactions in the morning, so he relies on getting stoned or drunk to wipe his memory. It’s a potentially dangerous mechanism, but Sanzu enjoys the adrealine rush of trying something new, enjoys the out of body experiences, the fuzzy feelings, the wild imaginations and visions that make his world look colourful rather than monochromatic. 

“Haru.” You call his name with that sweet voice of yours, one that makes his heart warm. “You can talk to me about anything, okay? I’m always gonna be here for you.” 

He’s looking down at his lap, mouth twisted in a way he always does when he’s deep in thought. You can’t help but wonder just what’s going through that brain of his, knowing fully that up there is a mess of unorganised feelings and emotions he’d never been able to fully process.

“Haru. Is everything oka—”

“You know what I want?” He cuts you off, changing topics with a bright smile. 

His decision to switch topics isn’t something that offends you, knowing that he takes time to fully open up and you’re willing to wait as long as he needs. “What do you want, Haru?”

“I want weed.”

“There’s no weed, wait. What are you doin—” He moves quickly, his lean body brushing past yours, balancing a hand on your lap for leverage as he reaches inside the glove compartment pulling out his stash. “What the hell! You stashed your crap in my car?!”

“Of course I did.” He cackles at the dumbfounded look on your face, moving to the backseat. “Where else would I put it?”

“Uh—I don’t know? Your room? Anywhere but my damn car! I got pulled over the other day. What if I had gotten caught and they searched my car?”

“Did you?” He shrugs half heartedly, opening the ziplock bag. Almost instantly the car smells of marijuana, your nose wrinkles as you try to process it. 

“Well, no…but that’s not the point!”

“Shhhh,” he shushes you, taking his time to roll his blunt, all the while you’re glaring at him. “Stop pouting. You should be thanking me.”

“For what?”

“This.” He licks the joint to seal it, lifting it towards you like it’s his artistic masterpiece. The smile on his face screams child proud of their school project, diamond scars stretching cutely as his smile only widens. “It’s strong. Try it.”

“It better be.” You snatch it from his hands, holding it between your teeth as you manouevr yourself to the backseat to seat beside him. 

His chin is heavy on your shoulder as he watches you light it, wanting to be as close to you as possible not only to get a whiff of that perfume he loves that you practically drown yourself in, but to see your initial reaction to the weed. 

The smoke burns your throat before you could fully inhale, coughing violently whilst pounding on your chest to ease it. Haruchiyo grabs water from the front, tossing it to your lap as you erupt in a series of coughs. “What is that?” 

“I dunno.” He eyes the joint between his two fingers, looking oddly fascinated by it. “I just heard it was strong.”

“No shit.” It hurts when you talk, still feeling the ghost of smoke searing your oesphagus. 

His spare hand hooks onto your legs, and you yelp as he swings them over on his lap, slender fingers rubbing up and down your thigh as he smokes. “You’ll get used to it.”

“I don’t wanna.” You shift upwards on the seats, sitting on his lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to rest your forehead against the side of his face and shoulder. The scent of his cologne is overpowered by the marjiuana, but it’s still visible, dipping your face between his neckline and sighing. “This one is too much.” 

“Are my eyes red?” His jaw moves when he speaks, and it tickles as his smooth skin brushes against your cheek.

It pains you to move from your current position, his warmth and scent are soothing to you, but you shift back, turning the car lights on to see better. The corners of his eyes are red, and he’s struggling to keep them fully open. 

“Yeah, they are.” The urge to brush his cheeks is tempting, and your fingers twitch and hesitate by your side.

“Hey hey, wanna see somethin’ cool?” When you nod, he shifts upwards, his hand grabbing to hold onto your waist to ground you before you slip off his lap. 

The sudden contact had you stiffening, blood roaring in your ears as his strong hand held your side. You watch him perform a trick, his diaphragm contracting as he inhales, lips pursed as he exhales, several rings of smoke following suit. Your brows raise in surprise, ready to praise him when he sucks it all back in with one huge breath, the rings dismantling in the air. 

He turns back to look at you, chin high in the air, eyes tinted red gleaming as he grins at you, cheerful and animated. You can’t help it, reaching out to cup his soft cheeks with one hand, tracing over the outline of his lips, the shape of his scars with your thumb. 

It’s like he’s frozen stiff as your fingers feel up his face, and he blinks at you as you look at him with those soft eyes of yours. “You’re so cute, Haru.”

His eyes dilate; from the light in the car, or the strong weed you don’t know, can’t tell. What you can tell is that from his silence, his mind is running wild, thoughts bouncing across his brain from left to right, mirroring the way his eyes dart over your face, your lips, and the curve of your nose.

“So are you.” The words spill out from his lips faster than the blush creeps onto his cheeks. He looks away, embarrassed, clearing his throat before smoking from the joint again. “I learnt it from Ran. That useless lazy fucker is sometimes helpful.”

“Ran, huh?” Your fingers find themselves latched to the front strands of his hair tucked into a ponytail, twirling it on your fingertips. “He’s the tall one, right?”

He chuckles, short and amused, voice muffled from the joint between his lips. “All my friends are tall, ya know?”

“Well maybe if you let me around your friends, I’d be able to identify them.”

“You’ll live without ‘em,” he says, blowing smoke in your face, snorting when you cough and swat the smoke away, then try to hit the side of his face, only for him to catch your hand in time. “Your reflexes suck ass.”

You struggle to shift your hand from his grip, frowning at him. “I’m not a ninja.”

“I can teach you to be one.” 

“You a sensei, now?”

“I’m anything and everything. Like Batman.” 

He smiles when you laugh softly, the sound making him feel lightheaded, paired along with the weed flowing through his veins. “Batman is rich, though. You’re not.”

“I can steal money, all is good.” His hand, warm and hot, slides under the hem of your shirt, leaving a searing trail behind his movements that burns into your skin. “I’ll buy you anything once I get rich. Promise.”

He’s been subtly leaning closer as he speaks the whole time, but you don’t notice until his forehead brushes yours and you’re both staring at each other, daring the other to move closer.  “ Anything? ”

Green eyes fall down to your lips, not even trying to look subtle. “Anything.”

Fuck, at this angle you look so pretty, staring down at him with those dreamy eyes of yours, looking at him like he’s the most precious thing in the world. He always feels like that around you, another reason why he loves getting high around you. It forces him to be vulnerable around you, letting the feelings he’s been shovelling down refsurface.

Though it’s risky, and there’s nothing more he fears than rejection, he’s always been a risk taker. You make him feel good with your words, your presence, your voice, the silly moments you two share alone in his car, your room, his room. 

Your lips are what he favours the most on your face, always glossy with whatever flavour lipbalm you wear that day, and he physically fights the urge to kiss them just to guess it. His eyes are drawn towards your lips like a magnet. The way you bite at them when you’re focused, chew on the skin when you’re nervous, lick them when they’re dry, he notices, and wonders how soft they truly are.

“Do…do you wanna kiss me?” Your question catches him off guard, brows knitting in confusion as he wonders if he’s been speaking his thoughts aloud this entire time, but in truth, he’s been making his intentions obvious as he’s been staring at nothing but your lips the entire time.

“Huh? Don’t be weird.” He instantly facepalms himself mentally, fighting the urge to turn back time to take back his words, but it’s too late when your brows rise, lips parting slightly in surprise before looking down at your lap with a slight frown.

“Oh, sorry. That was weird, wasn’t it?”

“It’s fine.” His heart stings in his chest, he can feel it clenching painfully leaving nothing but a hollow feeling in the depths of his stomach when he realises you’re upset. “Why’d you ask that anyway?”

Maybe he can shift the narrative, find out a way to spin the conversation back to kissing. He still has a chance. “Have you never kissed anyone before?”

“I have!” The pout is back on your face, but not from being sad; he can tell the difference, so he sighs in relief. But still…the way your lower lip juts out slightly has him fighting the urge to tug and bite at it. “I’m not a virgin, idiot.”

He doesn’t bother trying to hide the surprise on his face, and you notice. “What? It’s that hard to believe someone would fuck me? Am I that ugly or something?” 

The effects of the weed start kicking in,  now you feel yourself getting emotional over nothing.

“I never even said anything.” 

“You didn’t need to. I’m not stupid, Haru.”

He flexes his jaw as he glares at you, trying to shovel his anger down. The argument is pointless, so he stays silent, bringing the blunt back to his lips. He inhales it for longer this time, and it can’t possibly be healthy for his lungs, but he doesn’t care.

“What time is it?” you ask, and his hand squeezes your waist tighter, stopping you from squirming from his lap.

“Why do you need the time?”

“Because I gotta get going at seven.”

“...why ?”

“Because…” you chirp, shifting to face him with a huge smile on your face, “I’ve got a date.” 

When you bite down on your lip, he can’t even be bothered to look down at it, or notice it. It’s silent in the car as you wait for Haru to be your best friend/wingman that hypes you, ask you for his name, height, age, job, personality, whatever. But he’s silent, face unreadable, and the tension in the car rises thick when he continues to stay silent; your excitement fades along with your smile.

He knows he’s been silent for too long, now everything is awkward, but he can’t find the right words to say. Congratulations? It’s just a date, what do you expect him to do? Find you wedding rings? 

His brain isn’t co-operating either, not in the right state of mind to process his words like a filter, so he says nothing before he says something he’ll regret.

“...Anyway,” you have to choke your words out, refusing to show your slight embarrassment, “hurry up and get high, so I can leave and get laid.”

“I am high.”

“Then I can leave.”

“No, you can’t.” He glares back when you glare at him, but he can’t find it in himself to control himself any longer. Maybe it was a bad idea to get high in a confided space with you, on his lap, with your face so close to his. 

“Why can’t I?”

“...’cause he’s a loser, and you don’t wanna get laid by a loser.”

You snort. “He’s the only loser available, so maybe I do want to.”

“What if…there’s another loser available?” He goes stiff and still when your eyes flick up to his face, looking concentrated at him eye to eye as if you were trying to decipher his words. “Me. I’m the loser.”

“You?” He simply nods and you do the opposite and shake your head. “You’re not a loser.”

“Yeah, I am.” You shift on his lap when he shrugs, leaning his head back against the headrest, and you watch as smoke leaves his lips as he exhales. 

His senses are intensified with the drugs, your fingers tickling their way up his shoulders, along his neck, to behind his head, lacing them between his soft hair. Leaning down, you hold his face in your hands and kiss him.

The moment your lips touch his, he feels like the world paused, and he’s dying to find whoever has control over the remote of his life so they could press play and he could embrace you like he deserves. Or, maybe he’s dying, and whoever is up there allows him to imagine just one night with you before he fades into nothing.

It’s real, all real. The tender slide of your lips against his are real, the sensation of his teeth sinking into your soft plump lips, biting, and nibbling at it is real, the gentle moans he eagerly draws from your lips when his tongue swipes against yours, wet, messy and sloppy is real. 

“Fuck—” you whisper along the swell of his lips, pulling away to examine his face.

He looks gone, shallow half-lidded eyes looking up at you with blown wide pupils, mouth half open as if he’s forgotten how to close it. 

“Haru, you there?” Your knuckle traces along the side of his face, stopping under his chin, lifting it to look up at you.

“Yeah yeah, ‘m here.” 

Your giggle echoes in his ears, and he’s never been harder in his life, cock pressing uncomfortably tight against his pants. “Good, because you look wasted right now.”

“Just, fuck— stop talkin’. C’mere.” He pulls you down for a kiss with a hand at the back of your head, sloppily working his mouth against yours. He tastes like weed, the smell strong but it doesn’t stop you from licking into his mouth, desperate to drive the strong taste away and replace it. 

Big, strong hands wander the length of your back, slipping under your shirt, cold hands hugging you tight, tight to his body that you can’t help but arch into him.

A sound that comes from the inside of the house has you pulling away, turning to face the window, and he trails his lips down the length of your neck. His nose pokes into the flesh of your neck as he sucks deep, red hickeys onto the plane of your neck, breathing heavily as he savours the feeling of your soft feeling of your skin. 

He could get used to this; the weed makes him feel like your skin is ten times softer, or maybe that’s how it generally feels and you’re just perfect, so soft everywhere. 

“Tak—take this off.” The words are lost to your neck as he sucks along the column of your throat, rogue hands wandering along your chest, up your shirt, kneading your tits through your bra.

“Okay, okay, wait —” When you pull backwards, he follows, leaning up from the seat, lips attached to your neck by the hip. “Haru. If you want to see me naked, you’re gonna have to let me remove my clothes.”

“Just…wait a min’ longer…” He sucks harder, and you shudder as shivers race down your body at the feeling of his teeth nibbling at the sensitive part of your neck. When he’s satisfied, he pulls away, admiring his handiwork. “You look so sexy like this, fuck.” He’s tugging your shirt off, throwing it behind you, uncaring of where it lands. 

Warm hands roam your stomach, your sides, sliding up further to wrap around your throat. “So beautiful ‘n sexy, just for me.”

“You already said sexy.” He hums absentmindedly, obviously not paying attention if the way he’s squeezing the fat of your breasts were any indication. 

“You’re sexy times two.” He grins up at you before pulling your bra cup down, and you inhale sharply when it brushes down your nipple. “No, no actually. Times infinity.”

You flush hot at his words, especially when his lips brush against your ears, biting down against the shell. He’s sweating from the heat in the car plus the heat from both your panting bodies. 

“Don’t you think we should—ah fuck—” He tugs you upwards on his lap, your clothed cunt grinding against his hard cock, hands curling into fists behind his neck. 

“We should what?” His musical chuckle vibrates along your ear, sending cold shivers down your spine, forcing you to arch to chase the feeling away. You squeal when he bites down along your ear once more, smirkingpleasantly at the soft, squishy press of your tits against his chest.

“We should go to your room. I mean there’s not much room in here.” Your neck aches from the angle you’re sitting at, neck bent at an awkward angle to avoid hitting the roof of the car. 

There’s not enough space in this crammed car to fit yourself comfortably. Haru, on the other hand, is more than comfortable, seated on the seats like a king that’s blessed the majestic view of your half naked body atop of his. 

“I got an idea,” he says, not giving you a moment to wonder what he’s thinking before he’s lifting you from his lap, plopping you onto the seats. Your forearm darts quickly to cover your chest when he pops the car door open, lips pressed together tightly as he walks to the front seat, yanks the door open without a care and readjusts the seats back, pushing it till there’s enough room between the wheel. “This space big enough for ya?”

You tilt your head past the seat, surveying the space with a keen eye. There’s enough room for you to kneel down and take his cock in your mouth without a fuss or a struggle. A bed sounds nicer though, the thought of sinking into his soft mattress as he fucks you crosses your mind, but it’s overpowered when you remember his siblings are home and you’d rather die than let them hear you.

“Seems good,” you shrug, sliding quickly out the car; the cold air from the garage AC hits you smack in the chest, hardening your nipples momentarily. 

“Ah, ah wait.” Haru pulls you back before you could climb on top of him. The cute way your tilt your head at him, confused, makes his heart do a triple beat for a moment. “I wanna try somethin’.”

“Okay…” 

It’s stressful the way he’s manouevring you along the seat, pressing your back into the front seat as he shifts to kneel between your legs. “Hold your legs up for me.”

You swallow hard, unable to taste your saliva with how fast your nerves are racing. Doing as he said, you bring your hands under your thighs, holding them up as he tugs your pants down, struggling to get them past your bent knees, glaring at you when you choke on your laugh, muttering out a quick apology. 

“Don’t apologise now. You’ll be beggin’ for it later, trust me.”

His confidence is over the roof right now, evident in his strong posture, shoulders back as he leans forward, swiping a finger along your folds with ease. 

“You’re really wet.” Your slick catches on the tip of his finger, and you want to hide your face between your hands when his pink tongue darts out to lick at it. 

“Could you maybe not do that? It’s awkward…”

He hums when he looks at you; now it’s his turn to tilt his head at you. “How else am I supposed to eat you out then?” His hands press themselves between yours under your thighs, and your back aches from almost sliding down the seat in this awkward position. “You want me to skip the prep? Fuck you into the seat right now?”

“I mean—” It sounds like a good idea, but then you remember the length and thickness of his cock through his pants and swallow excessively. “Prep please.”

He smiles at you, the car light reflecting off the side of his face as he dips his face closer, digging his fingers into the swell of your thighs, nose pressed against your folds and sniffs so hard it’s like a vacuum, your clit tingles with the need to have his tongue in you. 

“This gonna sound so weird, but I really don’t give a fuck but…” he moans as he licks along your slit, a long, wet stripe from the bottom to the top, “you taste so good, fuck—”

“Haru stop…” He seals his lips around your clit, fingernails digging into your thighs as he sucks hard, numbing your clit with the continous flicks of his tongue moving at rapid speed. “Oh my go—”

Your hands fight the urge to fly to his hair, pull him closer to grind his nose against your stubborn clit, but you remember his instructions, to keep your hands on your thighs, keep you spread open for him. 

He’s devouring your pussy like a starved individual, flicking his tongue rapidly, slurping the wetness that drips from your puffy folds. You try to close your legs, try to squirm away from the ticklish feeling of his wet tongue trying to squeeze its way through your cunt, but it’s intoxicating, and overwhelming, especially when his finger tickles against your hole.

It’s fascinating watching it go in and out, and Haru dreads pulling his mouth away from your cunt but he needs to watch your face as his finger slides knuckle deep inside you. His bloodshot eyes twinkle as he watches your slick coat the length of his finger, translucent liquid dripping down his knuckles to the seat. 

“You always get this wet?”

“I don’t know…” It’s not often you finger yourself, so the experience is first hand. You’re also partially amazed that your body managed to produce this much slick from a single finger. “Wait, wait, right there. That feels so good—”

“Here?” His finger curls inside you, itching the side of that spongy spot. 

“No, no—not there, wait—” Your hips shift to the side a little, then it’s like something switches inside you, hands shaking against your thighs as he spreads you out with a second finger, applying pressure to that spot that has your moans increasing in pitch. 

His cock twitches with the need to replace his fingers, sink himself deep inside you, watch your eyes cross as you melt in pleasure. He leans forward, slurping, sucking along the sensitive hood of your clit.

Your body feels numb, voice coming out as breathy pants as you tilt your head back to hit the headrest, giving into the warm, fuzzy feeling deep inside your abdomdem as he fingers you to your climax. 

He knows that you're close when your walls cling and squeeze his fingers tight, barely giving him enough room to move them. His own tongue slithers through your folds, lapping up the leftover slick. The taste of you is better than he’d expected, and he thinks he could live between your legs for the rest of his life. 

There’s a swell of pride swirling through his chest when he feels you lose yourself on his fingers and tongue, your teeth pressing into your bottom lip painfully as you jolt and sit up from the effects of your orgasm. Your hands forget holding your thighs up, gripping onto his hair tied up loosely in a ponytail and tug him forward, craving the warmth of his mouth sealed around your clit as your world comes tumbling down.

It takes a couple moments for you to get yourself together, still holding painfully onto his hair before letting go. He presses ticklish kisses along your thighs, licking at the wetness spread along them. 

“That was—” You swallow, trying to find the words since your brain isn’t co-operating. “That was so good.”

You look all cute when flustered, face heated and flushed, your pretty lips left open as you pant heavily, desperately trying to catch your breath. 

“Think I found my new addiction.” He grins up at you, big hands squeezing the fat of your thighs as he kneels up between your legs, wrapping them around his waist and leans in for a kiss.

Your hands cup his cheeks, holding him close to you as he licks into your mouth, forcing you to taste yourself on his tongue, giving you a moment to gather your nerves because you’re going to need it. 

“I’m ready,” you mumble into his mouth, feeling the shiver that races down his spine.

“Bet, okay. Hold on.” He draws back, big hands spreading your thighs apart.

You look at him through your lashes as he sheds his shirt, tossing it behind you. His body is lean, capacious, abs faint but visible and your mouth waters, hand flying out to run down his stomach. Your touch is so light, his muscles flinching away from the ticklish feeling. Everything you do to him makes him feel so good. 

He grips both your hands, pinning them above the headrest. “Keep ‘em there,” he says, unbuckling his belt, sliding his pants down to his knees. He grabs a condom from his back pocket, ignoring your humourless stare.

“You planned this?” You gesture at the condoms with your head. 

“Better be safe than sorry.” He bites the end of the wrapper, pulling the condom out, rolling it slowly down his shaft. 

Your eyeroll is cut short when the tip of his cock angles itself at your entrance. He can see the way you’re dripping, the slick smeared along your thighs. 

Warmth engulfs the head of his cock as he slowly pushes it in you, and he hisses, biting his lip to stop himself from thinking how good you feel, how tight you’re going to squeeze his cock, how he’s going to cum inside you—

You’re panting, the tip of his cock stretching you out, almost screaming when it pushes past, the thick head making you dizzy it carves a path inside you. “Ah, Haru that—” He pushes deeper, and his eyes roll back when you clench around him.

Haru swears, gripping onto the base of his cock, squeezing it to stop himself from cumming too quickly, pushing through the urge to shove the rest of his length inside you. He stills halfway, needing to take a moment to compose himself, his mind fuzzy and warm, and he feels lightheaded. 

He has to close his eyes, knowing if he looks down, seeing his cock between your legs, halfway inside you, he’d cum in an instant. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to wait—I can take it,” you pant, hips desperately trying to rut forward. “Please…”

He takes a moment to swallow, groaning lowly, as he pushes the rest of his cock inside you, trying to ignore the tight suction of your walls. The moment he bottoms out, he’s falling forward, dipping his face between your neck and shoulder and moans, the sound desperate and needy, causing your pussy to clench and quiver around him.

You wrap your legs around his waist, arms wrapping around his head as you hold him closely, enjoying the feeling of his breath tickling your shoulders. “You okay?” 

It’s funny how you’re asking him this instead of the other way round, and a part of you feels pride in the fact you could make someone this desperate and needy without effort. 

“I’m good…it’s just…fuck , you’re so tight.” He forces himself to inhale deeply, eyes squeezing shut painfully to compose himself. He shivers at the feeling of your nails raking up and down his hair, scratching at his scalp addictvely. “You’re good though, right? It doesn’t hurt?”

You shake your head, smiling softly at him. “Nah. The seats a little uncomfortable but…that’s about it. You can move, Haru.”

“It’s uncomfy? Oh…” You almost want to cry when he pulls out, but he’s lifting you from the seat, switching your positions, slotting you back down on his lap. 

“You want me to ride you?”

He nods, biting his lip when you grab onto his cock, seating yourself down on his cock. 

“Oh my god—” You feel so full, his thick cock stretches your walls, whimpering beside his ear when he rolls his hips sensually, pressing his cock deeper inside you. 

“ Holy shit , you’re so tight.” Your pussy drives him into a frenzy, eyes threatening to roll back at the way your cunt squeezes him so tight, clinging to every inch of him. 

He swears, voice low, sounding wrecked as you begin riding him a little faster, slowly lifting your hips up and down. The obscene squelch of your pussy grasping pathetically around his thick shaft has him biting his lip so hard he might draw blood. 

“ Haru.” You wail his name, collapsing onto his chest, shuddering when his hands, rough and warm, grab onto your hips to slow your pace down. 

“Yeah?” His voice is quiet, like a whisper, so he clears his throat and tries again. “Yeah? What’s wrong?”

“Lemme move—” You trail your lips down his neck in an attempt to soften him, waiting for him to let go of you so you can move faster. There’s a nudging spot inside you, an itch that needs to be scratched. Your attempt to move is shut down again, frustration building up and up the longer you feel his cock twitch inside you. “Haru please…”

“If I let go, you gotta promise to take it slow.”

“But I wanna make you feel good.” You whisper along his lips, tugging at it with your teeth. He groans into your mouth, and shifts for a moment, his cock follows suit, twitching desperately for some friction. “Wait, do that again.”

“This?” He rolls his hips upwards, rolls your hips backwards and forwards, and you drip a little wetter down his leg, wetting his thighs. 

“Yes. Do it again.” 

He starts a steady pace, steady enough for you to feel the way he’s deliberately aiming at that spot in you that makes you squirm around. 

“I’m so close.” He says beside your ear, his voice lingering in your head, clouded by the feeling of his hands roaming your back, scratching at it with every bounce you give him. 

“Me…me too.” 

He’s tense, gritting his teeth when you clench around him. You shift backwards, unslinking your hands from around his neck to grab at his knees, using them as leverage to support yourself as you roll your hips in circles.

He can feel the energy buzzing between you both, can feel the tingling sensation on the edge of his fingertips, the drugs running through his veins has the regular feeling of sex intensifieid, and he swears he can feel every inch of you. 

Everything is so hot right now, the temperature in the car, the feel of your hands braced against his knees, the way your nails dig into the bone, the way your tits bounce in his face as you fuck yourself on his cock. 

You clench when you cum, and he leans forward suddenly, grabbing your hips to lift you up, slamming you back down with a loud moan, hips jerking as he cums inside you. 

You’re shaking, trembling at the feeling of his cum spurting inside you, the wet sensation is ticklish, cold shivers running down your spine. 

“You feel so fuckin’ good,” he mumbles again, holding you down to feel your greedy walls sucking him in further. “Holy fuck, I could stay here forever.”

“I need a shower.” You say once you come back to your senses, groaning softly when you lift yourself up and off his cock, the wet squelch following after echoes throughout the car. 

“That’s so hot.” He mutters, eyes wide with fascincation as he reaches out to thumb at your clit, enjoying the way you shiver and let out a soft moan as he rubs it in circles. “Holy shit that’s so hot. You’re so hot.”

“I kno—” It’s distracting when you can feel his cum dripping out from you slowly making you lose your train of thought , the drip of it is anticipating until it forms a small pool between both of your bodies. “I know.”

“You hesitated.” 

“I didn’t.”

He removes his thumb, wiping the wetness from it along his tongue, tasting you, and you feel your face flush at the action, burning hot when looks up at you, the corners of his mouth dragging up slowly. “You did.”

“Shut up.” 

Sanzu’s reaching towards the backseat for his stash, and you laugh at how his arm barely reaches it, flailing it uselessly around the air. 

“You’re not gonna reach it, Haru.”

“Watch me.”

He grunts and groans like he’s lifting heavy bricks, and you start to take pity on him. “Dude, just give up.”

“No.”

 If there’s one thing about Sanzu it’s that he’s determined, but not in the way you think. It’s more the stubborn version, always trying to do the impossible, ignoring you when you tell him it’s not possible, then sulks when he fails. 

He clicks his tongue, shifting you down on his lap so he has more room and this time successfully grabs at it. “Told you. Always hatin’ on me.”

You giggle, faint and shrill, leaning forward to rest your head against his shoulder, watching him dug through the contents of the bag, his slender, skilled fingers professionally rolling another blunt. 

It’s silent in the car again, you two both bask in each other’s presence. Both of you refusing to discuss what happened earlier, not sure if those sudden feelings you felt were because of the weed or if there’s something else deep inside, a false truth you’ve refused to make terms with, or shoved them aside for another unknown reason unbeknownst to you.

Your head is racing with thoughts, pictures of Haru wondering where you suddenly felt these emotions towards him came from. The thought of sharing him with anyone else angers you, but it shouldn’t because you’re both friends. The thought of him laying in a car with another girl on top of him angers you, makes you feel bitter and resentment towards this imaginary woman your brain fabricated inside your head.

It’s like your body is working against you. 

Stupid weed. 

Haru’s gone for the second time today, and for the first time in what felt like ten minutes—in actuality it was only three—you look up at him. He looks like he’s falling asleep, those chubby cheeks of his so promising, so soft, you can’t help but shift upwards, pressing soft kisses against them.

It should be weird to him  that he doesn’t question your sudden out of character movements, but then again you both did just have sex not longer than five minutes ago. 

His phone rings at the backseat, pulling you away from his neck where you were sucking fresh purple hickeys onto and he groans when your ass brushes aginst his cock. It’s been slightly hard the entire time, still not over his recent orgasm, but not strong enough to maintain itself to stand tall. 

“What’re you doin’?” You freeze as your hand hovers over his phone. 

“Your phone’s been ringing non-stop. It’s irritating.” The caller ID is Ran, and part of you wants to answer it so you can know what he looks like. It’s been nudging at your brain the entire time, trying to figure out which one of his friends is who, trying to put the pieces of the faceless group of boys together to solve the puzzle. 

“Just ignore it—okay then.” You answer the phone away, turning the camera away from your naked body onto Sanzu’s face. You squirm around, trying to find where Sanzu threw your bra and shirt as the two engage in small talk.

“What do you want?”

Ran snorts on the other end, his voice deep, familiar, and husky. “Don’t needa get all pissy, you big baby. Takeomi wants to know where you are.”

“What the fuck does that have to do wit’ me?”

“Call him, or somethin’. I don’t fuckin’ know?”

Haru sniffs, nose wrinkling when the smoke he blows out invades his nostrils. “Tell him I’m busy.”

“Being a fuckin’ junkie?” Ran snorts, petty and bitterly, voice now laced in sarcasm. “So productive.”

Haruchiyo rolls his eyes at the same time you put your shirt back on, reaching under your shirt to fix the straps of your bra. “I’m doing more than getting high, you slug. I’m with my friend.”

You had tuned out the conversation from the beginning, your main priority being your clothes, but at the mention of ‘friend’, he jostles his leg, catching your attention. “Say hello.”

“Uh…hello?”

“Oh? Who might you be?”

“I’m—” Haruchiyo ends the call before you could even get the first letter of your name out. “What the hell?”

He lazily shrugs, tossing his phone into the backseat without a care. It hits the edge of the seat, before hitting the floor with a mild smack. Two noble fingers grasp at your chin, redirecting your gaze from his probably broken phone to his face. 

The kiss is passionate, and long, his wet slide of his tongue laving itself inside your mouth. Your face grows hot when his lips wrap around the length of your tongue, sucking the moisture from it, replacing it with his own. It’s messy but you don’t care, happily drinking the mixed saliva from his mouth. 

His sharp teeth sink into your lips, stopping you from pulling away, kissing you with fervour as his heavy head spins, and bright flashes of colour appears behind his closed eyes.

“I’m so hungry,” he gasps out when he finally pulls away, wiping the saliva from his mouth with his forearm, giving you back the breath he stole from your lungs with that kiss.

“You want me to drive you to McDonalds?”

He grins up at you, that stupid adorable look on his face that has your heart warming in your chest. “Is this your way of asking me out on a date?”

“It’s my way of forcing some food down your throat before you die of starvation.”

“What if I was thirsty instead?”

“McDonalds sells drinks, dumbass.”

“ Or… ” He places his hands on your hips, pulling you forward on his lap. You yelp at the motion, hands flying to the headrest behind him to stabilise yourself. 

What he’s insinuating is lost to you for a moment, only becoming obvious when his hand snakes down to your pussy, thumb nudging insistently at your clit. His eyes dip down to your chest, your nipples still hard and poking through the thin fabric of your shirt, then drags them back up to your face and smiles.

“You’re so horny.” Your eyeroll is fabricated and fake, part of you deep down wants it too. 

“You like it though.” It’s true, and he knows it too. The defeated look on your face is all he needs to know when he moves to open the car door, nodding his head outside. “Let’s go to my room now.”

[bahrtofane]

promises under the stars - jude pov

Jude never meant to replace you. But that's how it ended up isn't it. There's no one to blame but himself, no one behind each and every decision that now has him standing at the end of an aisle, waiting for his bride. A bride that isn't you. 

highly highly recommend reading this fic first. or else it kinda doesnt make a whole lot of sense on its own. then come back here. this is kinda like a part 2? kinda

shout out to this anon for this idea ! hope you like it

word count - 2.1K+

watch it - well angst, yet again. pregnancy talks the works. sorry if i used ur name for his wife xoxo. enjooyyy

p.s. - shout out to @anadiasmount for the inspo to create the image at the end ! go read all her stuff yall so good

—————-

He thinks the moment it all comes crumbling down is when he gets word of you getting mobbed. After you've just been to Madrid with him. And he can't do anything about it but send security and hope it doesn't get out of hand. 

He expects you to give up right then and there, curse him and wish for him to have nothing to do with your life again. But you don't. You can never bring yourself to blame him. To hate him.

Then comes your whole family suing him for something completely out of his control. Fresh after your father has threatened him, this is just what they need to come after him legally. 

It's okay because they don't win. Of course they don't. How stupid do you have to be to try and sue for going on vacation for someone you love. He wants to call you every step of the way. But his lawyer warns against it. So he doesn't. And you’re left in the dark.

Do you even know that they've tried to sue?

He can guess what you're thinking. He knows you too well. You think this is him taking an exit from his life. He doesn't want it to be this way. Maybe its for the best after all he finds himself thinking. Back to the thoughts of letting you go for your good as much as his. 

But like most things in life, things get muddy. 

He spends his time in a whirlwind of emotions, all leading back to you. He can not go more than an hour without you in his mind. 

Even if his texting habits dont show it, he wants to talk to you every second of every day. Do you remember when he would call you to complain about the mundane. When he stubbed his toe, or drank out of his mind, pressing his nose against the screen trying to feel you against him. 

Things have changed. He’s no longer the same youthful Jude with a penchant for recklessness. Taking day trips to see you, skirting around paparazzi and your families just to have a moment together.

He misses you, but he’s scared to reach out again. So he remains silent and an onlooker to your life. 

Funny isn't it. World class player with more money than he knows what to do with is scared to text you in fear of what your families will say or do. 

And yet, he can’t stay away for long can he. His resolve breaks on your birthday. Months and years have gone by. Legal cases are drawn out go figure. And he's been so busy with games every few days and events he can never say no too. When he gets home his bones ache, only finding the strength to clean himself up and go to bed. 

When he calls you he realizes maybe it's too late. That waiting for things to blow over have left a gap in your time together. He knows nothing but memories. Your life eludes him. He tries to go back truly, but seeing your story while you're out with friends, smiling- actually smiling. He thinks he better not intrude. 

His mother isn't helping one bit. She's come to the conclusion that the only way to move on and get your family off his back for good is to just move on. Find a “nice sensible girl” she says, smiling.  

Jude doesn't want to. It makes him sick. Kicking and screaming the whole way about it. It’s not a bad idea in theory. Pretend to date someone. Your family gets off his back his family of yours boom you can be happy together again. 

So he can learn who you are again. Find a way into your life. Do you still tilt your head when you're confused? He needs to get back to you. He can't let someone like you leave. He doesn’t just love you, he’s fascinated with the person you’ve grown into. 

The thought of you with anyone else makes him sick. He still loves you, and he makes himself believe that the same is true. 

If only right.

He meets Kaylie in the dead of winter. At a sponsorship event that he completely forgets about and shows up an hour late to. He looks around trying to find his agent but before he can even say his usual rounds of hellos he spots his mother standing with a blonde who clutches her necklace to her chest while she laughs.

This is the start of his own nightmare.

He comes back around when he knows he has to. After taking his sweet time talking to everyone. He tries to look for help to get out of the encounter but it's already too late. His mother is flagging him down. So he walks over, already sweating. 

His mother all but pushes them together. 

“What a couple you two are.” she beams, hands clasped together. 

He gives a tight lipped smile and tries to wiggle his way out the awkward slew of introductions Kaylie gives of herself. But his mother gives him a look, grabbing into his arm and making stand and listen. 

There's a look in his mothers eye, he knows what it means. This is the woman that's supposed to replace you. He feels sick. 

——-

Along the way he thinks that maybe this is what's best for him. For you. 

His family all love Kaylie. And she's sweet enough.

Nothing like you, dragging him into different clubs while you linked arms to get ice cream at the same time.

He finds it hard to keep up with her. Her life is fast paced, more so than his. Every time he calls she's in a different country it seems, catching flights and going to fancy resorts.

You never minded a quiet night in. Its what you loved, being able to exist with him. 

Most of all she doesnt know him. She knows Jude Bellingham. The player, the figure, the celebrity. She doesn't know that he has a bad habit of touching his ears when he's nervous, how his eyes go wide at praise and teasing. How without a hundred reminders and alarms he truly would be late for everything. You always helped getting him to things on time.

When you were both awkward pre teens struggling to make sense of the world, you’d stop by his house to make sure he wouldn’t miss the bus. Sitting next to him on the beaten leather seats, and spitting facts you learned the day before. 

He always listened. He still would today. 

He doesn't think Kaylie’s noticed anything about him. She spends most of their time together taking pictures and flaunting him around. He pretends it doesn't bother him. Is the peace even worth it at this point?

She doesn't know how much he loves making little daisy chains, how much he loved putting them in your hair when you were kids. You’d throw a fit, but he never missed the look in your eyes when his fingers would swoop down to settle them gently. 

Kaylie is beautiful. But she's not beautiful like you. She may have an expensive taste for clothes that allows her to put together a stunning outfit for any occasion, cleavage on display while she pouts her lips and bats her eyelashes for a kiss. Kisses he never gives her. He can't. Not when he knows you wait for him. 

Sure she's great by the average man's standards. But she's not lovely like you. You could be in a trash bag and he'd still think you're the most gorgeous person on the planet. 

He thinks this whole Kaylie thing will blow over, that he'll be able to get back to you. 

And he tells her this. 

He goes through the motions, just to shut everyone up. 

Sitting her down when his mother isn’t around, “I don't love you. I will never be okay. I'm only here to get my mom off my back.”

And she laughs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “Okay Judey whatever you say,” bracelets clanking together.

The name makes him want to hurl. “Get out of my house.”

Kaylie has got it in her head that she's here to stay. They've gotten into screaming matches because she's gotten her hands on the spare key and spends her days lounging in his house while he's away. They're not even officially dating by any means. 

And he keeps finding her in his bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. Giggling and acting coy. He's losing his patience and losing it fast. 

“Why did you give her the key.” Jude storms into his mothers house. 

She's making tea, swirling a spoon in her mug,”she's your woman isn't she. She needs one.”

“No. She's not my woman and you know that. Everyone that.”

She set the spoon down in the sink, going over to where Jude stands.

“Jude. you need to focus on what's good for you. And she wasn't good. You should be lucky that they didn't win the case. I went and told them about Kaylie and how wonderful she is. Be thankful. “

He's losing his mind. He needs to talk to you. 

He gets the chance when he's back in his hometown. And he sees you. He doesn’t think he could ever miss you, not even in a crowd. A rush of people stop him from running right to you. So instead he texts you. For the first time in ages. 

Was nice seeing you.

He hopes you can read between the lines, that you still know him well enough to understand what he really means. 

I still see you. 

For Jude is a coward. 

——

You dont reply. He forces himself to go back to what hes been forced to know.

Kaylie is all over him, hands roaming his body. There are days when he gives in. Sharing a bed with her as a cruel demented way to find some sort of release from everything that goes on around him.  The look on her face after its all set and done makes him genuinely want to punch something. A look of arrogance, like she's won something. 

And to top it all off he's been called up for England. His life gets even busier, if possible. Trying to keep up with it all proves to be grueling.

But light comes in the form of you. In the form of a single text.

Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.

You're proud of him? You watched him? 

The words bring him to near sobs, the light of his phone illuminating his hotel room while hes getting changed into his pjs. It's completely dark, his personal preference. And hes so happy he would fly the damn plane himself to see you. 

Before he can even think of a reply Kaylie tells him she's pregnant. Barging into his room with a little white box in hand. He thinks is some sort of congratulations for the game. Tacky card, maybe a watch. 

When he opens it, his world comes to a halt. Its a single pregnancy test.

He wants to cry. He's too young to be having kids let alone with her. It makes no sense to him. He always used protection the handful of times they did sleep together. Each time he'd only cry in the shower trying to scrub off her smell and the feeling of her touch off of him. She's only a distraction he tells himself. Too late for those words now.

It feels so wrong, so so wrong. He was supposed to be waiting for you and here he is sleeping with another woman. Who's now pregnant. He wants to vomit. 

He's in too deep now. And he can't be a deadbeat dad. 

Thoughts of you get pushed back to his mind while he scrambles to deal with the consequences of his own actions. 

When they get back to Madrid, his mother doesnt let him off easy. Screaming at him till he thinks he's popped an eardrum. And yet there's a gleam in her eyes like she's happy it all worked out this way. Doting on Kaylie and rubbing her belly (that's not even close to showing yet), and calling herself grandma already. 

The next step is obvious. He has to marry her and make it work.

So he does. An impromptu wedding that happens so fast he doesn't even hear the congratulations from everyone. He doesn't know how to break it to you so instead he posts on instagram and tries to figure out what his life has become. 

Jude is nearing 25. He has a kid on the way. He's married. He hates his wife. He hate himself.  Can you ever forgive him?

[nonbinary-eddie-munson]

Steve hadn't meant to evesdrop on eddies new band. Really, he was an innocent party here.

Once things had calmed down in the aftermath of Vecna, Steve and Eddie had scrounged up every penny they could -steve even sold his precious beemer so they could have the extra cash- and got the hell out of dodge. Eddie couldn't stay in a town where everyone still looked at him like he was a murderer and Steve loved Eddie too much to keep him trapped in a town that hated him.

They had settled into chicago nicely, far enough away from the hellmouth that was hawkins, indiana that they werent constantly jumping at the sight of their own shadows, but still close enough they could be back in less than a day if shit started going down again.

The metal scene in chicago was just starting to take off, and Eddie quickly fell in with a local band that was in need of a new lead guitar. Steve had yet to meet any of Eddies new band members, his work and class schedules keeping him entirely too busy and exhausted for socializing. All of which led to this moment, Steve hovering awkwardly at the end of the hallway leading backstage as Eddies new bandmates tore him apart.

"Seriously how'd a guy as hard core as Ed end up with a preppy little asshole like that, i mean did you see what he was wearing?" The drummer scoffed

Self-consciously Steve worried at the hem of his black polo, he had stressed over his outfit all evening before they headed out to the venue. Eddie assured him that he looked great telling him he looked "like a sexy little gothed up jock" in his black polo, his tightest jeans and just the barest hint of eyeliner and mascara to make his eyes pop

"I know it must have been slim pickings back in butt fuck nowhere but Ed's got options now. Sure, the guy has a nice ass, but Ed could pull someone who's not gonna ruin our cred by dating a guy who looks like a narc" the bassist added on meanly.

Swallowing past the lump in his throat Steve turned to head back to the bar when Eddies voice stopped him in his tracks.

"People who disrespect my boyfriend dont get to talk about his ass" came Eddies sharp reply "Steve is more metal than all of you dumb fucks combined, and he's the inspiration behind all of the lyrics that are making us so big in the scene right now. If you cant fucking respect my boyfriend, you sure as hell dont deserve to get famous off the songs i wrote about him so im fucking out and im taking my songs with me."

"Ed you cant be fucking serious" the drummer started

"No, fuck you guys! You act all high and mighty but your just as fuckin shallow and small minded as the dumb hicks Steve and I left Indiana to get away from. Good luck finding someone to replace me and my songs before the fest next month" Eddie spat, his footsteps thundering against the concrete floor and around the corner into the hallway, coming up short as soon as he spotted Steve frozen in the hallway shocked at Eddies fierce defence of him.

"Oh sweetheart" Eddie crooned bringing a hand up to cup the side of Steves face his thumb gently swiping away the tears Steve hadnt even realized had begun to fall "I'm sorry you had to hear that baby. Lets go home" Eddie took his hand back from Steves face, wrapping it around his waist and tucking Steve firmly against his side ushering a still dazed Steve down the hall, out of the bar and into the cool night air

"Your didnt have to do that Eds" Steve said quietly, reluctantly pulling away from Eddie now that they were out in the open where anybody could see.

"Of course i did baby. You're the love of my life. You matter more to me than anything else in this world. More than my guitar and metal and dnd. And certainly more than some mouth breathers who wouldnt know what metal is if it got up on stage and took a bite out of a demon bat" Eddie replied with a grin and a wink swooping down to press a quick peck against Steves mouth as he stood in the middle of the sidewalk frozen in shock at Eddies declaration

"Im more important to you than music and dnd?" Steve asked in a quiet awed voice, his heart beating rapidly as if it was trying to physically escape his chest and burrow itself into the flesh of Eddies own ribcage.

"Sure are sweetheart, now why dont you get that sexy ass of yours moving so we can get home and I can show you just how much I mean it" Eddie replied, his voice lowering into a deep gravel that drove Steve crazy, hands reaching out to pull Steve forward a few steps urging him in the directon of the van parked furthur down the street.

Steve stumbled after Eddie, letting the other man lead him, his brain still not fully back online after Eddies bold decleration of love.

Steve didn't believe in any god, but he found himself thanking every god he could think of for bringing Eddie Munson into his life.

[icameheretoreadstuff]

Inexperienced choso or super shy megumi bot +18 please

Hiiiii, here you go! :D I don't know about super shy but I tried my best! I figured I would try to write that he's super shy at maybe doing intimate stuff with you- but when he says he wants to but he's obviously to shy, your the one who needs to take the lead. enjoy C:

Pairing: Megumi x F!Reader Warnings: 18+, MDNI!, NSFW, Smut, Alcohol, Aged up Megumi, Mutual Masturbation, Oral, Shy!Megumi at first, Semi public. A/N: masterpost & links are pinned on my tumblr.

You filled up with drinks on the serving tray and walked into the living room. "Here you go" you smiled as you placed them down onto the table. Everyone grabbed a drink except for Megumi, Yuji grabbed one and gave it to him. He looked sceptical on the drink "It's just Ice tea with some alcohol" you shrugged, he grabbed it but still looked unsure at it. "Try it! you know y/n is really good at making drinks right?" Yuji said as he tried his own drink, "Don't be rude, Try it at least" Yuji tried to encourage him.

"You want some water, soda or something else instead?" you offered "You don't have to drink it, even if Yuji wants you to" you said and gave Yuji a stern look. "What!?" Yuji commented "It's good" he said and tasted it again "You should unwind Megumi!" he grinned and started to dance a little "Let loose!" Megumi looked at Yuji and just scoffed before he smiled and tasted it.

You felt the world was on a pause, waiting for Megumi to comment or react on if he liked it or not. "It's ok if you don't like it, I dont want anyone to feel pressured to drink if they dont want to" you said as you sat down into a chair. "It's okay, it's really good" Megumi finally said, causing you to let out a happy sigh "Thanks y/n" he said and leaned back into the couch.

Yuji grabbed the remote and turned down the music "Everyone! Toge said to me earlier that he wanted to play a fun game" Yuji grinned evilish, Toge looked at a your bestfriend as he blushed "Tsunamayo!" he said as he looked at Yuji. "what fun game?" Maki sighed "7 minutes in heaven" Yuji said as he winked to Toge, He sank into the chair as he sipped his drink.

"Yuji, be nice" you said as you tried to hold back your giggles. Actually you thought it was a great idea because you knew your bestfriend had a crush on Toge.

Yuji was explaining the rules when your bestfriend leaned into your ear "y/n" she whispered "what are you up to" she blushed "nothing, it was all yuji" you explained, she looked at you and her lips formed into a thin line, while her eyes smiled "It's ok, don't worry" you reasured her "you know you want to if you end up with him" you whispered back to her, teasing her. "y/n!" she playfully slapped you in your arm. "not so loud!" you both giggled.

Yuji found an empty bottle and placed it on the table, it spun around and landed on you and Megumi. You both froze as you looked at each other, your bestfriend giggled "go on" you looked at her and blushed hard.

You stood up and walked over to the closet, you crossed your arms as you saw Megumi standing up and chugging down his drink, with Yuji cheering in the background "Go inside both of you and and we'll knock when the time is up" Yuji explained. You could see Megumi hesitate as you opened up the closet door, He walked inside and you closed the door behind you.

The space was cramped but there was still some room between you. "We could just say we kissed" you said as you looked at his crossed arms. "I don't think they will believe us" He said, you chuckled "yeah, you're probably right" you agreed. "So do you mind if we kiss?" he looked at you as he was lost for words, His crossed arms fell down as he tried to say something but ended up blushing hard.

"I-I" he began, you could tell he needed some form of help "I think-" he sighed as he scratched his neck, trying to calm his nerves. "It's not that I dont want to" he said as he looked away and blushed.

"it's not?" you asked as you couldn't help but to smile "I just-" he sighed "Megumi" you said as you were trying to get a read on his behavior "You don't have to say you want to, its ok" you told him "I can take the blame" you shrugged.

There was a couple of awkward silence before he said "no, I want to but-" he tried to explain as he was looking at your lips. You took initiative with those words and stepped infront of him "I like you, Megumi" you said honestly.

He gazed into your eyes "I'm going to kiss you now, because of the game" you leaned closer "Or maybe just because I think you want me to" you whispered and kissed his lips, you could feel him kissing you back which made your heart flutter.

You leaned back to catch your breath "you kissed me back" you whispered, his chest were heaving from the kiss.

You leaned in and kissed his neck, he was about to let out moans but held his hand over his mouth. You moved twoards his lips and softly removed his hand as you kissed him deeply. "Don't hold back" you said into his lips and he leaned twoards your lips like a magnet and kissed you hard.

He hummed into your lips "just like that" you whispered into his lips. Your innocent kisses started to build up more and more to full on makeout, while he let out sweet silent whimpers.

You wrapped your hands around his neck and he grabbed your waist. You could feel his boner pushing into you. "Can we do more?" you asked him "what if they hear us?" he mumbled "what if they come inside?" you locked the door "you want to stop?" you asked and he shaked his head "no" he said and crashed his lips into yours.

You pulled down his pants, he let out a sigh as you grabbed his length "let me hear your sweet moans" you whispered into his lips as you kissed him, He hummed and let out a moan the instant that you started to jerk him off, slowly.

"y/n" he moaned he crashed his lips into yours, you grabbed his hand and guided it down your pants. He moaned as he could feel how wet you were. "you feel how wet you make me?" you moaned into his lips, he huffed as he began to explore your clit with his fingers, finding out what made you tick. You moaned and began to thrust up into his fingers.

"Megumi, I need you" you moaned as you felt you couldn't think straight, his long fingers pushed and touched and squeezed on all the right places, making you struggle to stand up.

He dragged down your pants to get more acsess as he moaned between your rough kisses. He moaned as he went back to touch you "I wanna fuck you" you huffed, he huffed "do it" you smiled "sit down" you said and stepped aside.

He managed to sit down as you took off your pants and straddled him, you grabbed his length and pushed it into your core while moaning silently.

He huffed as he pushed his length deeper inside you. You moaned as you began to slowly move your ass up and down while sitting flushed into his chest. "Megumi" you moaned as you kissed him, he moaned between your lips as you thrusted hard down onto his length.

"moan for me babe" you huffed as he kissed your neck and moved up twoards your ear as he huffed and moaned "just for you" he mumbled, as he kissed you hard.

"fuck" you moaned "I'm close, you feel so good" you panted as his moans were sending you closer and closer to the edge, and his dick was touching you in all the right places with each thrust.

You gasped silently as you thrusted hard down on his length riding out your orgasm, he moaned and thrusted his hips up into you. "y/n, I'm about to cum~" he panted. you pulled out, moved down and grabbed his length and pushed it inside your mouth and bobbed your head, his head flew back as he grabbed your hair into a ponytail and he couldn't help but to watch you.

He moaned as he could see how hungry and how good you were of sucking his dick "y/n" he moaned and thrusted his hips up into your mouth as he climaxed.

You both stood up and took on your clothes before you looked at each other, you leaned close and kissed him hard. "I wanna do this more with you Megumi" you said and he blushed as he half smiled "me too"

You both counted to three together as you walked out, they cheered and you both blushed hard. "Shut up" Megumi hissed as he blushed, looking away from the cheering "yeah, please guys" you agreed.

"I'm gonna go and make some drinks" you hurried. "You guys were inside the closet for like an hour" yuji commented loudly behind you and you could tell he was tipsy, maki smacked him in the back of his head "shut up dumbass, We agreed to leave them alone" she hissed.

You turned around and waved Megumi over to you with your head "join me?" Everyone turned silent and looked at him curious about what he was going to do.

He walked over to you with his hands in his pocket "sure" he said and smiled to you when they weren't looking. Maki turned on the music as the party continued in the background.

When you were alone in the kitchen you couldn't help yourself, you crashed your lips into his as you sighed happily. He exhaled into your kiss and cupped your face he deepened the kiss.

[mooooonnnzz]

I LOVE YOUR DAD!MIGUEL FICS so how about the reader painting Dad!Miguel’s nails???😍 like the reader bothers Miguel about it until he’s like “Ugh. Fine.” But he actually ends up enjoying it and spending time with his daughter (reader, or if you want then kid for gender neutral)

Manicure! /// Miguel O’Hara x GN!Teen!Reader

✦ I MADE IT GN, hope u dont mind i already made like 3 fem readers so i had to even it out 😞

✦ miguels a lil grump here

✦ pure fluff!! <33

✦ HOPE U ENJOY!!

“What color do you want?” Your eyes looked through the rows of nail polish you had organized on top of your dresser. A large teasing smile was plastered on your face as you searched. Miguel muttered curses under his breath, his eye twitching in annoyance at your smile. After hours of you pleading and begging Miguel to allow you to paint his nails, he finally caved in, saying he was sick and tired of your pestering. Though, he wasn’t too happy about it. His knitted brows and deep scowl spoke volumes to you.

You found his whole childish act amusing. This grown man, who’s your father, is acting like it’s the end of the world because you wanted to paint his nails. Miguel didn’t respond to your question from earlier, probably too busy throwing a huge tantrum inside his head to respond, so you decided to choose for him. You plucked a few colors from the rows and laid them down on your palms. “Which ones?”

Miguel huffed out, his eyes looking at the polishes on your hands before looking down at his hands. Was he trying to imagine which color would suit him better? A shaky smile threatened to pull on your lips but you quickly pursed your lips into a thin line when Miguel’s eyes darted over to your face, eyelids menacingly narrowing at you. “Paint them white.”

You gave him a weird look. “White? But that’s so basic.” You looked down at the colors you picked out, pointing at a red and black one. “What about red and black? So it’ll match your suit.”

Now it was his turn to give you a weird look.

“My suit doesn’t have any black on it.” He tells you, shaking his head disapprovingly. “Either you paint my nails white or you don’t paint my nails at all.” He said, using his pointer finger to accentuate the gravity of his words.

“Fine, fine.” You store all the polishes away, leaving you with his plain white color. You take the polish and lead him to your desk where he sits on the chair. You grab your own chair and sit in front of him.

“Put your hands on the desk.” You instruct as you shook the nail polish. Miguel places both hands on your desk, splaying his fingers apart. “You promise you won’t peel the polish off afterward?”

Miguel sighs. “I promise.”

“Do you pinky promise?” You popped up your pinky, waiting for Miguel to wrap his pinky around yours to seal the deal.

A small smile is slightly visible on his lips. He hooked his pinky with yours, sealing the promise tightly. “I pinky promise.”

You beamed happily, twisting open the polish. “Okay! That’s good to hear.” You pull out the brush and sweep it against the edge, removing any excess paint. You motion Miguel to move his hands a little closer to you. He complies with a slight huff and you begin to paint his nails.

You’d occasionally have to slap his hand to tell him to stop moving. He claimed that the brush tickled him but you didn’t believe him. It got to the point where you had to give him a 5-minute break between each coat. He found your complaints entertaining, you assumed he was acting that way just to mess with you.

“Oh, it’s starting to tickle. I need my five-minute break.” He already started to move his hand away but before he could escape, you caught his wrist with your other hand and pinned it back down to the desk. “I haven’t even finished!” You whined out, kicking his leg playfully under the desk. “You’re literally doing this on purpose, Pa.”

“I’m not.” You would’ve bought his whole act if you didn’t look at his face. His huge smirk gave it all way. You rolled your eyes, focusing back on his nails. “Give it up.”

A snort could be heard from Miguel at your response.

After a few more coats and fanning, you finally finished his nails. “I’m done!” You cheered. “What do you think?”

Miguel looked at his nails, nodding his head slowly in an approving matter. “Not bad.” He flexes his fingers, looking genuinely happy with his nails. You shook your head affectionately.

“See! And to think you were throwing a whole fit about it not too long ago.” You tease, twisting the polish closed. “I should give you French tips next time.” You got up from your chair and placed the polish back where it belonged.

“There isn’t going to be a next time.” He said.

There was a next time.

[rewritingcanon]

What would you say are your more controversial opinions about the hp characters?

ohhhh okayyy. i feel like my opinions on a lot of the characters aren’t controversial because i dont feel super strongly towards anyone in any negative light but here are some i could think of at the top of my head:

i’m glad the malfoys faced more extreme backlash after the second wizarding war. a lot of people in the fandom seem to be very sympathetic towards draco and scorpius for getting dogpiled with the brunt of it (which yeah, it sucks, especially for scorpius) but the prejudice makes complete make sense to me. if i was someone who didn’t know scorpius’ character, and had someone from my family get killed in the second war due to death eaters or something— seeing the malfoys still be wealthy and walk around freely without any jailtime, i would be bitter too. they’re hated on but they’re still one of the richest families ever, so they’ll live LOL

another anon has asked about this and i haven’t responded to them yet but when i do i will link it here for my reasons. basically: the best character in the cursed child is harry potter. i think the way they wrote his character and ptsd carried the play. it was def his story, not albus’.

i do think dumbledore has some aspects of him that may be considered morally gray, but mostly i dont think he is. he does everything for the good of the world, and his complete selflessness leads him to sacrifice anything for it— even himself and the people he loves, when necessary. i completely understand why people wouldn’t agree with his methods though.

james potter isn’t a sunshine character he’s a dickhead. fans of him made him a golden retriever character to be more palatable for modern times. i like him the way he is: an asshole and then less of an asshole 👍 this is what true stanning looks like

pansy parkinson is racist and out of all the female side characters, developing HER is so questionable from fandom

harry had questionable descriptions about a lot of male characters to make people think he could be a little 🏳️‍🌈 there was bill, there was sirius, there was cedric. but draco is not a part of that list. harry was not feeling draco whatsoever throughout the series but drarry shippers cling to that one ‘obsessed’ line

furthermore, harry rejecting draco’s offer of friendship wasn’t a sad or a ‘what if’ scene. draco was being a classist piece of shit and harry didnt want to fuck with that, there isnt any way in any timeline he wouldve accepted draco’s friendship.

slytherin sucks just generally lol. people want so bad to pluck anti-heroes out of a series that was written specifically with the mind to make all the characters suck.

hermione and ron’s drama isn’t as toxic as people make it out to be. yes, this includes the time hermione sent birds after him. people act like its the end of the world but she was tackling puberty and the end of society soooo i give her a pass to tweak out.

mostly every harry potter character has horrific names. like literally mostly everyone. even the name harry potter 🙁

movie romione wasn’t that bad LOL

severus snape’s ‘redemption’ or whatever was so ass. he bullies kids for five years and then everything is chill because… true love? on harry’s mum? are you kidding me 💀

weasley family angst goes hard but people (especially percy stans and some ron&ginny stans) acting like they’re the most toxic family to walk the earth make me want to rip my hair out and eat it. molly loves her kids guys shes not evil. jesus.

genuinely trying to think of more but i can’t right now…. maybe i will reblog and add to it. i feel like most of my opinions aren’t that controversial though 😭

[bitethedustfools]

New sagau idea?

This is my first time posting something on tumblr but I just wanna say that I'm getting tired of seeing the imposter! sagau au where the player/creator is so forgiving once they were declared innocent and not the imposter or something like that.

The eldritch one was good but kinda expecting to go to the dark territory. The yandere one is kinda okay but need more spicy with the creator personality. The one with letter is wholesome in a way but I'm a picky person and the player's personality is just not to my taste.

So uh, I'm just gonna drop some ideas to spice some new inspiration or something. Apologize if these aus/ideas already exist.

Indifferent god/player

You play the game to pass time, you don't even bother speaking, only staying silent the whole duration and maybe murmuring some dissapointing things on the characters when they don't reach your expectation. The characters designs are nice and maybe the personality but you don't give a damn about them. You probably don't read their story or voiceline or something. But anyway, whether they have sobs story or not, you already have enough and don't care as well.

Almost everything bore you and the only thing that keep you going is the curiousity for the ending so you tried to level up and give them the best artifacts so you can speed run or something.

Once you are inside the game, the first thing you do is sigh loudly.

You dont know who the hell is the creator they speak of that finally arrived in Teyvat cause your day is ruined from being approached by the characters who won't leave you alone. (You got that divine presence and distant looks in your eyes that made them tremble with realisation when in fact you're just annoyed with them, never giving them a single glance. "out of sight, out of mind")

You are the Watcher of Teyvat, the God of all Gods and you are finally descending to Teyvat which you create "lovingly" with your bare hands. (Not that you know about that)

Now the characters feeling towarda you can be varies. The characters may be feeling grateful because you helped them getting stronger which may lead to stronger devotion.

Your hurtful comments back in your previous world sometimes drove them insane which may lead them feeling desperate and insecure, ashamed and upset as well as letting their self confidence dwindled. Sometimes they questioned themselves why aren't they abandoned yet and why are they gifted with powerful artifacts instead? So lots misunderstandings here.

The Archons probably go crazy trying to figure out how to please you. Wanting to be by your side and show you how Teyvat came to be under their rule and after that. Use them however you wish, the rules of Teyvat bend to your will and all will act according to you. Maybe that's why their gnoses is in the form of chess pieces? For you to play and use with?

The Fatui harbingers probably have complicated feelings about you. But most probably are upset that you don't give a damn about them or glad that what they are doing doesn't offended you in the slightest and encouraging what they are doing because they thought you have no problem with what they are doing.

Can go yandere route I guess but none what the characters did will ever entered your eyes because you don't give a f*ck about them. Period. No feelings or heart to heart talk.

2) Introvert simping god/player

You are a Genshin Impact lover. You buy every merchandise possible and owned so many of their cosplay. You are probably the top 5 best genshin gamer and made some theories judging by what the game had shown you. No characters can escape your gushing as praises bullet out of your mouth. Nothing in the game could escape you cause you love them so much.

Unfortunately, as much as you love them from the roots of their hair to their fine shoes and the blackest and goodest of hearts, you don't want to be in their world.

Because you are an introvert and a simp! These combinations can't be good if you are to meet one of them!

The solution? Hide.

Needless to say, your ability to become one with the background unintentionally shut off your heavenly divine presence. You became the world's best hider, no Fatui could ever catch a glimpse of your shadow nor an Adeptus nor Archons. Always a game of mouse and cats yet theres no progress in catching the skittish mouse.

You refuse to meet them and can only look from a far. Staring with awe when they fought or walk or talk or whatever they do. It's like seeing an idol in a way.

In short, you're a stalker.

When they learn about how you look like, every place is not safe anymore. Everyone is looking for you, eager to meet you. But not you. By the power of cosplay, it's easy to avert meeting them.

And now, you are not the only world's best hider but the world's best at disguising themself as well.

3) Eldritch god/player

What if Teyvat is only one and the players is many? When you descend to Teyvat, some said you are tall, some said you are short and others said you are a male and another the opposite sex. They even said your hair was curly and black but the other refuted, saying yours was wavy and blonde.

Introducing you. A god who is all yet one individual. A god whose everything changes from one person to another's respectives. Sometimes the same person see you in a different appearance which confused many.

Your whole being is unpredictable, sometimes you're upset and then happy and then angry, all in the blink of a moment. even your accents changes, following the tongue of the one who is speaking currently.

Sometimes, when the feeling is getting intense, mostly anger, the face(s) morph into something horrible as if it couldn't decide which face(s) to take (or was it these players are feeling the same thing at once?) or what language to speak, resulting in gibberish words falling out your many mouth(s). Your eyes however are staring at the cause of your feelings, (enemy? the one that hurts you? experiment purpose?) All varieties of colours ranging from hazelnut to black.

The Archons are regal and full of divine aura, beautiful and something worthy to behold and worship.

But you are a different existence, leaning toward the dark and gory side than the Archons or the whole Teyvat.

But you are still a god, the God of all Gods.

Are you worthy to be loved and worshipped and to be behold?

Yes? No?

You're not you and you're also not them. Yet you are you and you are them.

Acceptance and violence, you have no problem to choose.

The feelings of the many you(s) are distorted and cannot be comprehend.

[h3arts4harry]

-Not yet-

-

warnings: angst, no happy ending, drugs, death, swearing, idk what else lmk

y/n x bsf!chris sturniolo

based in LA

y/n (19) red chris (20) orange matt (20) blue nick (20) purple blake (23)

-

9:47pm

knock knock

i walk downstairs from my room and open the front door to 2 police officers with saddened looks on their faces, "y/n l/n?" the man on the left asks pursing his lips, "uh yea whats going on?" i furrow my eyebrows in confusion, "we have some bad news about your mother and brother" the other, who i recognise to be our neighbour paul speaks, my heart instantly drops to my feet as i look back and forth from both of the officers, paul goes to speak again but closes his mouth and looks down to his feet, my mind races with all the possibilities that couldve happened, yet not once did i think of what was to be said. the other looks down to me, "we regret to inform you that your mother and brother unfortunately been killed in a car crash-" i start to dissociate after hearing that, not registering the rest of what hes saying.

My chest feels heavy as my eyes fill with tears, i bring my hand up to my chest falling back onto my feet failing to stabilize myself. Paul rushes to me and catches me as he gently brings me down to my knees, sobs exit my mouth as i cling onto him, it feels as if my whole world has collapsed, that time has frozen. "im so sorry y/n" i hear paul whisper, small sniffles come from his nose, trying to keep his composure, he and my mum were best friends since college, as much as i feel like my life has ended, i cant help but feel bad for him.

i cant concentrate on anything, all i know is that i need my mum, but she isnt here, neither is my brother. My head is pounding as thoughts overwhelm me, i instantly stand up rushing out the door, leaving everything where it is. The other officer looks back at me as i run, paul quickly walks to the pavement "y/n where are you going" he yells, worry coating his voice. I ignore him, blanking out everything,

all i knew was i needed chris.

-10:12pm-

i get to his house and try open the door but its locked, i rapidly knock, not minding if anyone is asleep. "y/n?" matt answers the door looking down at me, his eyes widen as he sees me stood there, tears streaming down my cheeks, my makeup smudged from crying, my bottom lip trembling tucked unto my teeth. he engulfs me in a hug "y/n what happened" he asks as i sob into his chest, "th-they're gone" i choke out, "whos gone?" chris asks from behind matt, i immediately push away from matt moving to wrap my arms around chris, he copies bringing his arms around my waist, eyebrows furrowed looking up at matt who shrugs. matt looks around outside then closes the door behind him as we head up the stairs.

i cling onto chris's arm walking upstairs. "y/n whats going on" chris asks, lifting my chin to look at him as we sit on the couch, i lift my knees against my chest, hugging my legs. i cant bring myself to fully say whats happened. i cant accept it. too be fully honested i dont even know what happened, i didnt hear anything paul or the other officer said. my breathes become heavy as i pull my bottom lip between my teeth again, chewing at it, "y/n stop that, your lip will split" i look down at my knees as i fidget around with my fingers, tears slowly fall down my face.

nick walks downstairs from his room, matt rushes to him, placing a hand on his shoulder leading him away from us into the kitchen. "whats going on?" i faintly hear him ask as he looks over at me and chris on the couch. chris speaks up again "y/n please tell me what happened" holding my hands that are still wrapped around my legs, i swallow looking up at him, taking a deep breath, "they're gone" i whisper, my voice raspy from crying, "who y/n" chris furrows him eyebrows, concerned and confused, his eyes flicker from mine to nick and matt in the kitchen behind me back to me. i look down and close my eyes, shaking my head as tears slowly start too fall down my face again. chris moves closer to my side bringing me into a hug as i cry into my hands.

-timeskip-2 days-

i havent left the triplets house. they found out what happened though, i still couldnt bring myself to say it but paul had stopped by the next morning to see if i was there, i was asleep when he informed chris of everything that had happened. once paul left chris came back downstairs to me staring at the ceiling, his heart dropped a little seeing me. he told me everything paul told him. i knew my mum had left to pick up Blake from work as his car was in the shop, and i thought they hit traffic which is why they were taking longer than usual. it was a drunk driver. i was furious, but i couldnt do anything but cry. the driver was on the wrong side of the road and had collided with my mums car head on. chris had hesitated before carrying on. he survived. the fucking drunk driver lived while my only family i had died. the anger built so high in me i broke down, chris brang me into his chest, i soaked his shirt with tears. even after my crying slowed we stayed like that, holding onto each other for what felt like hours. i ended up falling asleep on him due to exhausting myself by crying.

-7pm-

"hey chris?" i look up next to me, us both laying against his headboard. "hm?" he puts his phone down on his lap, facing back at me, "can we go on a walk? i feel like im going cry" i bite the inside of my cheek, "yk its okay to cry, but yea ofc" he gets up to put on his shoes, "i know but i dont want to" i say blankly, slipping on my shoes, walking to chris's dresser grabbing one of his fresh love hoodies.

as we're walking down the dimly yellow lit streets, chris looks down at me fiddling with the rings on my fingers and decides to break the comfortable silence "do u wanna try smoke? it might help you calm down, you dont have to obviously but sometimes matt comes to me for weed for his anxiety n shit" he nervously asks, i clear my throat before speaking "uh yea sure" he pulls out a pre-rolled spliff, bringing it to his mouth lighting it, then taking a deep inhale. he takes it away from his mouth, exhaling slowly, then passing it to me. i take it, looking up to him as we walk, lifting it to my lips, trying my best to copy his movements, taking a deep inhale in, i exhale, coughing a little. "easy there trouble" chris chuckles at my coughing, rubbing his hand along my back, "not funny" i frown with a pout which makes him laugh more. "just take it slow, inhale it then take in a breath, so it hits you here" he instructs pointing to my chest, i do as he said to, then exhale briefly closing my eyes in relief.

-9:30pm-

We've smoked the whole joint between the both of us, and i feel like all the weight has lifted off of my chest. chris isnt as high as me cause his tolerance is higher as he smokes almost everyday. i hold his hand, swinging our arms as we walk back to his his house, "i love you yk" i smile looking up to chris, he laughs a little before replying "i love you too n/n" he smiles at me repeatedly squeezing his hand.

We walk into the living room, where nick is editing a video and matt is scrolling through tiktok next to him. "heyyy" i drag out greeting the boys on the couch, they both look up at me and chris walking over to them. nick and matt raise an eyebrow watching me slump down next to nick, chris sitting next to me. Nick sits forward putting his laptop to the side, then faces me lifting his hand and squeezing my cheeks looking at my red eyes and dilated pupils, "youre fucking high" i giggle looking to chris, who is being frowned at by matt. he drops his hand whipping round to chris, "you dumbfuck" he curses shaking his head. "y/n c'mon lets go to bed" he stands putting his hand out, "okay nicky" i stand grabbing his hand, he pulls me upstairs to his room, i turn my head to matt and chris still on the couch "night boys".

-timeskip-2 months-

Im back at my house, my empty lonely house. I hated it here, everytime i opened my eyes and walk around my house i was forced to relive my memories, and it hurts so bad, but i had nowhere else to go.

Ive been buying weed from chris basically every other day now, i would only leave my room to get shit from him. He was very hesitant to sell it to me at first but i assured him that its helping with my anxiety and panic attacks, he kept offering for me to hang out but i refused, i didnt want to leave my bed.

-CHRIS POV-3pm-

I sit down at my computer about to load up fortnite when my phone lights up;

hey come over with a 3.5?

i sigh looking at my phone, im really worried about y/n, she only ever texts me to come over with weed and whenever i ask her to hang out she makes up an excuse. nick and matt keep asking me where shes at cause she never answers her phone to them. i dont know what to do.

yea lemme see what matts doing

k

i walk out my room to matts, "hey matt?" i knock on his door, he opens it then sits down on his bed, scrolling through his phone. "can u take me to y/ns?" i ask hitting my phone on my hand, "yea sure, do u need me to get u later or are u just stopping by quickly?" he sits up putting on his shoes, "prob just stopping by, she asked me to drop something off" his head shoots up staring at me, "you're not selling to her are you?" i look down kicking me feet, "chris! shes grieving you cant be doing that shit" he yells, "its just weed matt" i look to him, "my point still stands" he walks past me, grabbing his keys, i quickly follow behind.

We pull up outside y/ns house and it looks so empty. "Be right back" i announce while matt nods pulling out his phone.

-Y/NS POV-

i reluctantly drag myself out of bed, heading downstairs as i hear matt and chris pulling up.

knock knock

i stop in my tracks at the knocks, closing my eyes at the reminder of that day. i take in a breath and shuffle to the door, opening it to chris stoof there pursing his lips. "hey" i croak, not having used my voice since the last time he was here, "hey" he tilts his head to the side a little, looking down at me. I immediately become very self-conscious of my greasy, unbrushed hair in a low messy bun, the dark bags under my eyes, my grey sleep shorts and fresh love hoodie smelling of weed. i look down to my black slippers i had on, "here i brang u a couple pre-rolls" he says breaking the silence, handing me a bag, i take the bag putting it in my pocket "thanks" i mumble, he purses his lips again faintly nodding his head, "um chris?" i speak up "hm?" "i was actually wondering if you had anything stronger? i um i just feel like the weed aint doing what it has been yk" i bite my lip looking up to him furrowing his brows, "y/n i dont think you should be smoking weed this much let alone anything stronger" "chris youre the one who brang smoking up to me in the first place" "i know y/n, i know and i hate that" "please chris" i bite my lip, wrapping my arms around myself, his eyes dart around me stood infront of him, his chest fills with guilt, "okay fine but just this once" he gives in, reaching into his backpack, before passing me a bag of white powder, it quickly joins the pre-rolls in my pocket "thanks" i say handing him the money, he nods before hesitantly taking the money. i step back, holding onto the door, he takes the hint, "so i guess ill see you later?" "sure" i shut the door, to him looking down at his feet.

I hate myself for treating him like this, and i hate myself for taking drugs after i promised my brother i wouldnt. But i cant help it, it helps me for a little then i need more and i cant have chris trying to get me to stop. i walk into my room and over to my desk, i put down my pre-rolls to the side then pour out my bag of C, i get my card and divide it up into lines before scrambling around in my drawers to find a dollar bill. i eventually find one and roll it up while walking back to my desk, i lean down over my desk, placing the dollar at one end of the line before inhaling it. i take in 2 lines before standing up straight wiping my nose to get every bit in the end of my nose. i lay on my back as the C starts to kick in, i already feel the weight lifting off my shoulders, it feels as if nothing can go any worse than it has already.

After half hour of staring at the ceiling, i walk back to my desk to inhale the last 3 lines. After taking a deep breath i pick up a joint and pull my lighter out of my pocket before walking over to my window opening it, i sit on my window sill and smoke the whole of it. I get hit with a wave of tiredness so i lay down on my bed and drift off to sleep.

-CHRIS POV-

i sigh as she closes the door, i cant believe i just sold her that shit. i walk over to the minivan and get in, "home now?" he asks, turning the key in the ignition, i nod in reply.

-timeskip- 45hours later-

yo come over?

yea sure

bring another bag?

y/n i just sold u a bag

so?

and it was a one time thing

ill pay extra??

its not about the money y/n im worried about u

if u dont sell it to me ill go to sm1 else

y/n no thats not safe at all

idc i need more shit chris are you gonna sell it to me or not?

fine but this is the last time y/n

read 4:37pm

-timeskip- 27hours later- Y/N POV-

I finished my bag last night so i go to text chris for more, ignoring what he said about it being the last time, but i cant find my phone. I get up pulling on sweatpants over my shorts, and pulling my hood over my head. i walk out the door locking it behind me, pushing my hands in my pockets, walking to chris's house.

i walk down the driveway and knock on the door, kicking my feet about. i look up when i hear the door open to nick, "omg y/n hey where have you been?" he asks bringing me into a hug, "just grieving i guess" i state blankly not moving, he steps back slightly frowning, "wheres chris?" i ask looking up behind him, "he uh hes down in his room" nick says stepping back letting me in, "cool thanks" i walk past him up the stairs, then down to chris's room. "yo chris" i say walking through his door, "y/n?" he questions shocked at me being here, "in the flesh, anyway i need more shit" i look at him with an expressionless face, he looks taken back "y/n" he says softly "i told you im not giving you anymore" "yea and you said that the time before that too so" i say blankly, "y/n where is all this coming from? you used to tell me how much you hated drugs, and that i shouldnt be selling and now youre begging for more?" "well i used to have a mum and brother but things change" his face drops, but i ignore it "look have u got the shit or not?" "the fuck, y/n what is wrong with you?" he raises his voice a little and once again i ignore it "chris please, i really need it" he shakes his head, looking down "youre going to end up dead if you keep on this path!" my heart jumps at him yelling at me, but i cant focus on anything except getting more, "i dont care chris! dont you get it! i need more!" his whole demeanor changes, "y/n.." he whispers faintly, "i guess ill go to someone else" i walk out his room slamming the door behind me.

"y/n wait-" chris quickly follows me but im up the stairs already, i pass matt in the kitchen, "y/n please" chris pleads behind me, "chris whats going on?" matt frowns staring between us chris ignores him following me down the stairs to the door, i walk out slamming the door, pulling out my phone calling some other dealer i found through insta.

-CHRIS POV-

"Chris? hello? whats going on?" matt yells from the top of the stairs, i run up them then walking to the kitchen island. "i um-" i swallow looking down at my hands im leaning on, "what did you do chris?" matt states blankly, now stood infront of me, i look up to him as i start to explain, "so um the other day when you took me to y/ns house, i sold her weed, she then asked me for something a little stronger" i trailed off, "chris no, please tell me you didnt fucking sell her-" i cut him off defensively "i was just trying to help i tried to tell her no but she kept pushing and i-" i stopped talking feeling a lump in my throat, "fuck chris" he shakes his head. "how many times?" "what?" i furrow my eyebrows confused, "how many fucking times did you sell her that shit?!" he yells, i look down and mumble "like 4 or 5". he steps back closing his eyes, pinching the bridge to his nose trying to calm himself, "are you fucking stupid? like im genuinley asking, cause if you had a fucking brain you wouldnt of sold her anything, she is griefing and you thought the answer was what? drugs?" i sigh knowing what i did was fucked up.

"guys what going on?" nick asks walking down the stairs after hearing matts yelling, "chris here, thought it was a great idea to sell y/n weed" matt almost instantly answers "YOU DID WHAT?" nick screams, his eyes widen jaw dropping, "um" i start to speak but matt cuts me off "thats not even the best part" nick turns to matt furrowing his eyebrows, "he sold her 4 fucking bags" nick loses it, yelling at me. i just stand there and accept it due to the guilt and shame, wanting the ground to swallow me whole.

-timeskip- the next day 8am-

ive texted y/ns phone like a million times and shes not answered, she doesnt usually answer unless she texts me about drugs or just to get me to stop texting her, but she normally wouldve answered by now. i go upstairs to matts room. "matt i dont know what to do shes not answering me, she wouldve answered by now to tell me to fuck off spamming her" matt sighs then stands up slipping his shoes on grabbing his keys, "cmon we're going to her house" he says looking back at me sat on his bed.

We pull up to her house and it still looks empty, i jump out the car and rapidly knock on the door, "y/n? cmon open the door" i look through the living room window to absolutely nothing, the house looks abandoned. Y/n's neighbour, Annie walks out to the patio looking over at chris, crossing her arms, "chris? whats all the banging about?" she makes me jump "oh uh hi annie, did y/n come home last night?" i ignore her question, "oh urm no i havent seen her since she left yesterday morning" my heart drops to my feet, i turn and look at matt in the car with panic and worry displayed over my face, whos looking back at me frowning in confusion, i thank annie and run back to the car.

I jump into the car, "shes not here oh my fuck matt where the fuck is she? do you think she actually bought of someone else what if she got dealt dodgy shit oh my goddd i shouldnt of let her start this shit its all my fault-" i start rambling in a panic, matt cuts me off "chris calm down we'll find her" he reassures me but i can tell hes worried too.

We drive around for what feels like hours, and theres no sign of her. Im frantically looking around when i see someone laying passed out on their stomach on the floor, "Matt look is that her?" as we get closer i recognize her fresh love hoodie and sweats she wore to mine yesterday, her hair is pulled out of her bun just the very end wrapped in the band. before matt can park up properly i jump out of the slowly moving car and run to her side, i turn her over to see little specs of white powder around her nostril and upper lip. i gently shakes her shoulders trying my best not to panic but how could i not "please wake up shit y/n wake the fuck up"

"holy shit" matt breaths out running up behind me. i pick y/n up, one hand around her back, the other under her legs, her head is hanging back, her messy bun falling down, my eyes dart around her face walking back to the car, her skin is pale, the only colour in her face being the dark eyebags and red tear stained cheeks.

I lay her across the backseats laying her head on my lap. matt is driving us to the hospital, "matt fucking hurry up" i yell, my voice shaking "im going as fast as i can chris". "hello?" matt had been texting nick the whole time updating him on whats going on "hey we're on the way to the hospital now, do u need me to come get you after or are u gonna uber?" matt asks focusing on the road ahead, "ill get an uber its faster ill call you back" he says hanging up.

-NO POV-

Matt pulls up at the entrance of the hospital and chris jump out, holding y/n as he did before rushing into the hospital, "please someone help" a nurse rushes over to him and asked what happened, "i- i think she overdosed but i dont know i found her unconscious" he stutters, she calls over another nurse and they helped place y/n on a gurney. Chris follows next to her, holding onto her cold hand.

A doctor pulls chris side and asks him questions trying to get an understanding of what happened, he try his best to explain but he can only think of y/n so he couldnt really concentrate on talking to the doctor. He notes what chris says then tells him to wait outside. Chris paces back and forth until nick and matt run up to him, "chris whats going on?" "wheres y/n?" they speak over eachover, "i-i dont know, they asked me what happened then said to wait here" matt goes to hug me but chris pushes his arm away "please d-dont touch me" he steps back nodding, looking to nick pursing his lips.

Chris stops every doctor going in and out of y/ns room, trying to find out the situation. as one doctor enters, he get a glimpse of y/n laying there, tubes connected to her arms and nose, his eyes widen as his heart quickens its pace, breathing faster, but hes relieved as he sees her chest lifting and dropping, and hear the beeps of her heart rate ensuring shes alive and okay.

A doctor walks over to the boys, they look up to him in sync, chris immediately spoke "is y/n okay" the doctor takes a breath before nodding a little, "does she have any parents or guardians i can talk to?" chris looks down shaking his head, matt speaks up "her mum passed a few weeks ago but we are her best friends", "well then she is in stable condition but we dont know when she will wake up, she had an immense amount of drugs in her system, and also being outside for an amount of time we dont know, while unconscious, it was very dangerous, but everything seems to be okay, its just up to her to wake up, we dont know if she can hear anything but you boys can go in there", matt and nick stand up behind chris whos already standing and they all rush in to see y/n, still connected to tubes and wires, chris heart sinks to his feet if only he helped her instead of selling her drugs fuck why would you sell a griefing friend drugs he curses himself, he stands next to her holding onto her hand, which is slightly warmer than before, releasing a breath he didnt know he was holding in.

-timeskip- a week later-

Chris has been by y/ns side basically every second. Matt and Nick visit every day too but they go home at night, and come back in the afternoon. y/n still hasnt woken up and the doctors are doing tests to try find out why she hasnt, but they havent figured it out yet. Chris grew restless and annoyed that she hasnt woken up yet and that the doctors dont know why. Matt and Nick try their best to calm Chris down when hes about to go off but can only do so much, Chris has yelled at a few doctors and nurses and apologised after calming down.

-11pm- Y/N POV-

I flutter open my eyes, squinting at the bright lights, to see Chris asleep, laying his head on his arms leaning forward from the chair next the bed, holding onto my hand by my side. I look around to see that im laying in a hospital bed, tubes connected to my arm and nose. I look towards Chris peacefully sleeping, i squeeze his hand a little, i try speak but i end up coughing. how long have i been unconcscious i try remember what happened to lead up to now and its a massive blurr, the last thing i clearly remember is the day i smoked on a walk with chris. "y/n?" i look down to chris looking up to me, i weakly smile, "omg y/n youre awake" he very gently hugs me, trying not to hurt me. "what happened?" i managed to ask, he frowns at my question, "you dont remember?" i shake my head, biting my bottom lip furrowing my eyebrows. "oh um" he looks down at our hands holding eachother, "chris?" i grow concerned from his lack of speaking, "what um whats the last thing you remember?" he lifts his eyes to meet mine, "um the day we smoked together and then i went home with more" i answer, tilting my head to the side a little, his eyes widen, and he takes a deep breath in, "ill tell you everything but let me get a doctor to make sure youre okay, youve been out for a while" he says about to let go of my hand, i grip his hand not letting him go "what do you mean for a while" i frown, "youve been unconscious for a week-" "WHAT??" i shout, shooting forward sliding up on my elbows, "y/n-" he begins as a nurse walks into the room.

"oh y/n youre awake" she says with surprise, i nod pursing my lips, "ill be right back let me get a doctor" she walks out of the room, i look to chris and open my mouth to speak but then the doctors walks in. "hello y/n, glad to see youre awake" i nod in response, the doctor looks down at his clipboard, "so it says here that you have been unconscious for a week due to a spiked overdose" my eyes widen looking between the doctor and chris, "we found a large amount of drugs in your system so we drained them, there might be some left but wont be for long" i nod as he speaks, trying to take in everything "i believe you'll have to stay for another 2 nights just to check over you because as i said you had a large amount of drugs in your system, im quite surprised you survived" my face drops, i couldve died from drugs? drugs? when did i even do drugs? i mean i smoked with chris but weed cant kill you can it? what the fuck happened? my mind races with thoughts as the doctor keeps speaking. "y/n?" chris snaps me out of it "hm?" "are you okay" i nod, but chris sees straight through me, he always has, "y/n" he says i let out a breath "i dont know" i faintly speak, "whats on your mind?" he genuinley asks "i, i dont know, alot i guess, he said i couldve died. like death. thats terrifying, and on drugs?? i dont do drugs, i promised Blake i wouldnt after dad left us for them, and then Blake, he almost-" i choke up, tears brinking my waterline "its okay" chris reassures, drawing shapes on the back of my hand "im just so confused about all of it" i sigh looking down at my lap, chris shakes his head before reaching hand his to my face to look at him "im so sorry y/n" i furrow my brows as he moves his hand back to mine, "we smoked and then you started buying weed to take the edge off, then you wanted something stronger, and i tried to say no, i did but i shouldve kept my foot down but i just couldnt say no to you, and then when i finally refused you ran out saying youre going to get it from someone else and then i-" he rambles, a lump getting stuck in his throat as a tear falls down his cheek, "i found you passed out unconscious on the sidewalk" he quietly adds looking down.

i dont know what to think, my heart is beating out of my chest, and i feel like i cant breath as my vision starts to blurr, "y/n?" i look towards him but i dont say anything "y/n calm down its okay, look copy my breathing" he instructs bringing my hand to his chest, i try my best to do as he says but its so hard to concentrate on anything, he notices my struggles and whispers under his breath "please dont hate me" before leaning in and kisses me gently, my eyes widen in surprise but i then lean into it, kissing him back, which i can tell shocks him as i feel his worries fade away. I slowly pull back looking back and forth from his bright blue eyes, a gentle smile across my face which he mirrors. "what was that for?" i softly ask, "i-um saw online that holding your breath stops panic attacks and when i kissed you-" "i held my breath" i finish his sentence with a smile "yea" he confirms. i sit forward wrapping my arms around his waist "thank you" i whisper into his chest, "you really dont have to thank me y/n" he replies, hugging me back.

-timeskip-2 days-4:30am-

i jolt awake in a huge coughing fit, chris wakes up soon after rubbing my back trying to help me, i move my hand away from my mouth after feeling a cold sensation on my palm, i look down to see it covered in blood, my breathing becomes heavy as i panic "chris?" i look up to his panicked face, "ill get a doctor" he says quietly before rushing to the door, while he shouts for a doctor, i start coughing again, more blood leaving my mouth, chris looks back to me quickly before doing a double take with widened eyes, "omg y/n your nose" he rushes to my side, i bring my hand to my nose wiping it to see what he means, to reveal that my nose is also bleeding.

a doctor rushes in to see me sat up on the bed with blood over my hands, chin and falling from my nose, with chris by my side with his hand on my back. he shouts another doctor from the hallway who walks in, they rush over to me and bring me out of the room, "wait whats happening? chris? wait!" i look around to try comprehend whats happening, i see chris shout from a little behind me "y/n! wait!" before a doctor pulls him to the side. i didnt even notice that they had put an anaesthetic face mask over me until i started drifting to sleep.

-timeskip-10am-

i slowly wake up, my head is pounding as the nurse is taking my blood pressure "oh y/n hi how are you?" she asks kindly noting down the results, "i guess im okay my head is pounding tho" she nods "ill get you something for that" she smiles as she walks out "wait wheres chris?" i try ask quickly before she exits but shes already gone. i look around the new room im in, im not connected to tubes anymore but i still have a cannula in my arm. i grow worried about where chris is so i press the button for a nurse to come back, "hi y/n i have you some tablets for your headache" she places them on the table to my right joined by a plastic cup, "thanks, wheres chris?" i ask again, she looks up from placing down the meds, "i believe he is talking to the doctor about your condition-" "my condition? what do you mean?" i cut her off, "i cant say anything as im only a nurse, i will get a doctor for you" and with that she walks away leaving me confused. what does she mean my condition? i thought i just overdosed but im fine now, i should be able to leave tomorrow "oh shit.." i mumble remembering what had happened a couple hours prior.

chris shuffles walks in after 10 minutes, "hey n/n" he greets quietly looking at his shoes, "are you okay?" i ask sensing his low mood, he shakes his head before looking up to me, he opens his mouth to speak but quickly closes it again, "chris whats going on?" i tilt my head to the side with a concerned frown, he brings his hands out of his hoodie pocket and holds onto mine, he goes to speak again before being interrupted by a doctor walking in, "hello y/n, how are you?" he asks, i frown and bluntly reply "whats going on? why isnt anyone telling me anything?" he purses his lips before taking in a deep breath "im sorry y/n, we tried everything we can think of but there seems to be no change." my frown deepens, "what are you on about?" i agitatedly ask, why cant anyone be straight up with me and as if he read me mind he reveals the truth "youre dying y/n, we dont know how long you have left but-" i interrupt him, tears start to form in my waterline "yeah right you have to be fucking with me! no! this cant be happening-" i look to chris whos stood looking at his feet, tears falling down his face as he holds onto my hand, "chris" i say faintly, he looks up to me, with his bottom lip tucked inbetween his teeth, "im so sorry y/n" he whispers, "no chris this isnt your fault please dont blame yourself, this is in no way your fault" i reassure him before bringing him into a hug, my tears fall onto the middle of his shirt where my face is against.

-timeskip-half hour later-

me and chris layed together in my hospital bed, nick and matt came to the hospital as soon as chris texted him the news, when they walked in you could easily tell they had been crying. when i first saw them i started to cry before moving up onto my knees bringing them all into a group hug, all that could be heard from our room was our quiet sobs. "im so sorry" i softly say to them all pulling away from the hug, slumping back down onto the bed, "what? y/n no dont apologise its not your fault" nick says grabbing my hands as the boys sit on the bed with me, "i knew i shouldve have gone to that dealer, i knew he was dodgy but i did it anyway" i manage to say between sobs, "you wasnt thinking clearly y/n, it wasnt your fault" matt places his hand onto my ankle, rubbing his thumb to try calm me, while chris brings me into a side hug.

for the rest of the day we sat together, talking about all sorts and reminiscing on happy memories, tears were shared as the sun started to set, the doctors said i would pass in my sleep tonight. chris sspeaks up "no this cant be happening. not yet, youre only 19, you havent lived yet, how the fuck is this fair?" i bite my lower lip, looking down as i shake my head, "chris not now please, i know its not fair but we cant do anything to change it, the doctors said they tried everything" matt says with a shaky voice, i feel my eyes become droopy, and i feel really tired all of a sudden "chris.." i whisper before everything goes black.

-NO POV-

"chris.." chris look to the girl on his side to see her head fallen and eyes closed. "y/n? y/n wake up" chris shoots up to stand, matt and nick get up to running out for a doctor. "please y/n wake up i cant lose you, not yet please" chris begs while shaking her, "Y/N WAKE UP" he shouts, tears threaten to leave his eyes, a doctor rushes into the two, he brings his hand to her neck checking her pulse, he closes his eyes taking in a breath before shaking his head, "no.." chris breaks down, "no please there has to be something you can do, i cant lose her please" he cries out to the doctor on the other side of her bed, "im sorry kid, we really did try" anger rises in chris's chest at the doctors words "youre lying! if you tried everything she'd still be here!" he yells at him, matt and nick rush to his side, both of them in tears but still trying to calm his brother, the doctor sheds a tear while pulling a sheet over y/ns lifeless body, chris steps forward stopping the sheet "no wait, can i atleast say goodbye?" he gently asks the doctor nods and walks out of the room. chris's head falls down closing his eyes, "im so sorry y/n" he whispers, "i shouldve said no, i shouldve helped you properly, its all my fault" he chokes out, "chris its not your fault" nick says from behind him placing a hand on chris's shoulder. chris turns to his brothers and immediately breaks into tears, his knees give in and he falls onto the floor, the boys quickly bring him into a hug, attempting to comfort his brother.

-timeskip-3 months-chris pov-

i stopped doing and dealing drugs completely, i flushed them all that night i just couldnt stand to have them anymore. me, matt and nick didnt leave eachothers side for a week after she died, we all slept in matts room together, it was a bit squished but we didnt want to be alone.

i visit her grave everyday and just tell her about my day and everything. im almost 100% sure shes there when i talk to her, its like i can feel her presense when im there and i never want to leave.

"chris cmon its getting late we should go" matt says standing up, "no, can we stay a little longer?" i ask not looking away from y/ns headstone, "its almost half 11 we gotta leave eventually" "okay okay, just not yet.."

-

ahh i feel like this is a bit shit but oh well, i started writing it in like feb now finished it in may 💀

also i have only smoked once so if im way off then pls spare me lmao

anyways honest feedback is always appreciated <333

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