#'go where the wind blows' had ended me in this situation

[tchaikovskym]

decided to celebrate a bit for kind of not-officially yet getting into a phd, getting into new jobs (2 of them actually), and having car problems on top of it all, so, naturally, i deserve to overspend on food delivery

[etherealyoungk]

into the night | jeon wonwoo

SUMMARY: when you call wonwoo late at night telling him you're stranded, he drops everything to make his way to you (and bring you home safe)

PAIRING: biker!wonwoo x reader

THEMES: biker au, established relationship, terms of endearment, comfort fluff

WARNINGS: speed, fluff, kissing, a little suggestive (only at the end)

WORDCOUNT: 3.1k

A/N: just another very self-indulgent fic

the cool wind blows in your hair as you stand next to your car on the verge of tears. you really don't know how you ended up here - well you do actually. you were upset, overwhelmed from work and exhausted. you just wanted to run away for a bit, get away from life. but right now it seemed like life had caught up and was showing you the reality of your situation.

you pull out your phone from your sling bag and unlock it, your hands opening your contacts, your finger hovering over wonwoo's number. it was late, almost going to be midnight and here you were in the middle of nowhere because your car decided to break down. you wonder whether you should bother wonwoo tonight, having second thoughts, but your finger taps on his contact anyway, dialling his number. you don't think he is going to pick up after a few rings and you move your phone from your ear. that's when you hear the line pick up on the other end, wonwoo's voice floating in your ear.

"yn?", he asks, his voice tinged with a little sleepiness. "i-sorry did i wake you up?", you ask softly, looking down at your feet.

"no, i was up. are you okay?", he asks you, and that question gets you. you bite your lip in an attempt to not cry, feeling overwhelmed all over again.

"wonwoo", you say softly, feeling like an idiot for getting yourself in this situation.

"my love, what's wrong?", his voice comes through, concern laced in his voice and you can hear the sound of some shuffle on the other side.

"can you come get me?", you finally manage to choke out, your voice cracking, betraying your composure. "where are you?", he asks, his tone more alert now.

"i'm kind of stranded", you confess softly, and wonwoo catches onto the tremor in your voice, getting worried. "i don't know where i am, i was just driving and the car broke down", you try to explain softly, a lone tear rolling down your cheek.

"driving? why were you driving so late", he presses, to which you don't respond. you bite your lip in hesitation, unsure whether you want to tell wonwoo the truth or not.

you can hear him sigh softly on the other end before he speaks again. "send me your location and wait in the car, okay. i'm on the way", he says before hanging up.

after sending wonwoo your location, you settled into the quiet of the car, exhaustion weighing heavily upon your eyelids. despite your best efforts to stay awake, you unintentionally dozed off, unaware of the passing time and wonwoo's frantic attempts to reach you, the phone on silent.

in wonwoo's mind, each unanswered call heightens his worry, his imagination conjuring the worst-case scenarios, thinking something might have happened to you. it was unlike you to not respond to his calls. you'd usually reassure him with a quick call or text, but right now you were unreachable and panic ignited in his chest, propelling him to rush towards your location on his bike, each passing moment feeling like an eternity.

he finally reaches your location, finding your car on the side of the road with the blinkers flashing. with wonwoo's heart pounding with every step he takes, he approaches your car, his knuckles knocking against the window, startling you awake.

jumping up at the sudden noise, you blinked groggily, confusion clouding your senses. a figure stood outside, casting a silhouette against the darkness. fear momentarily gripped you until clarity dawned, and you recognised the familiar leather jacket that belonged to wonwoo.

with a shaky exhale, you reached for the door handle. as you stepped out into the cool night air you heard wonwoo say something like "thank god" under his breath as you stepped out.

"are you okay?", he asks, worried, his hair a touseled mess, falling over his forehead and eyes, blowing gently with the breeze. he looks you up and down, looking for any signs of injury.

"i'm okay, i just dozed off", you tell and relief seems to flood in his eyes. "you got me worried there, i called you but you weren't picking up", he says, looking at you, relieved to see you safe and sound.

a gush of wind passes, making you shiver. you cross your arms over your chest to offer some sort of warmth to your body. you stand there in front of wonwoo, avoiding wonwoo's gaze, dreading the question he might ask you about why you were driving out so late in the middle of nowhere. but the question never comes.

"let's go home", he says softly, reassuring in a way, holding out his hand for you to take, making you finally look up at him. you take his hand, walking along with him. he holds your hand gently but there's something comforting about his touch.

that's when you finally spot the bike - wonwoo's sports bike parked on the side of the road, making you turn your head to him.

"it's gonna get cold", he remarks, his voice gentle as he retrieves another jacket from his bike. he holds it out to you and waits patiently as you slip your arms into the sleeves, his touch tender as he settles the jacket over your shoulders. though it was slightly oversized, the garment seemed to embrace you in its warmth, a comforting shield against the biting night air. wonwoo's heart swelled with pride at the sight of you wearing his jacket.

"we're going home on this?", you question, apprehension evident in your voice as wonwoo zips up the jacket around you.

"why? are you scared?" he teases lightly. he knew all too well of your unease with riding on his bike, a fear you had yet to conquer since the beginning of your relationship. the whole thing seemed so intimidating to you, but wonwoo never pushed you to overcome it, understanding you and respecting your space. but tonight, it seemed like you were finally going to face your fear.

"it was the fastest way to get to you", he adds softly, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear as your eyes dart around nervously, still grappling with the idea of riding on his bike.

"do you trust me?", he asks, his eyes searching yours for reassurance. you lift your eyes to meet his, and nod slowly. "then let's go home".

wonwoo sits on the bike, manoeuvring it into position. he extends his hand, helping you to get on the bike and take a seat. once you're settled in the seat, you can't help but notice its height and weight, a realisation sinking on what you were about to embark on.

wonwoo hands you the spare helmet he brought along with him, and you accept it, your fingers tracing the smooth surface nervously.

"okay, some ground rules," he began, his gaze turning serious as he turns back to look at you.

"hold onto me no matter what or else you're gonna fall off", he says, his gaze turning amused when he sees the flash of panic in your eyes.

"woah not like that, i mean, it's better to hold onto me you know", he adds, chuckling softly and you make a face, smacking him lightly.

"tap me once to tell me you're comfortable, tap twice if you want me to slow down and tap thrice if you want me to stop or you don't feel okay", he instructs carefully. you nod at his intrusions.

"okay?", he asks again and you nod again.

"words, i need words my love", he prompts and you finally speak, squeaking out a small yes, still scared about being on the bike and the corners of his mouth tug up in a small smile.

you watch as he puts on his big biker gloves before taking the helmet from your hands and placing it on your head, adjusting as needed. he puts on his helmet too and waits. you're confused and hold onto his jacket to brace yourself. he opens the visor on his helmet before speaking.

"love, you gotta hold onto me", he says, startling you for a second. "i-i-am", you stutter out in surprise.

"that's not going to work", he says and wordlessly reaches out his hands to yours, guiding them around his waist and you hold onto him now. "that's much better", he remarks, satisfied before telling you he was going to start, putting down his visor.

the bike starts and wonwoo pushes off, riding in the direction home. and fuck, you had underestimated the speed that you'd be going at. your grip around wonwoo tightens and he smiles to himself. wonwoo's grateful for the helmet because gosh, he was melting under your touch truly. he finds you cute, so so cute and all his.

he still remembers the day he first met you. it was at the convenience store where he found you feeding a few of the stray cats that he usually feeds. he'd just gone in to buy some food for them and when he came out walking around to the back, he saw you. you were crouched down as you handed the cats some food and watched them eat with a tender smile on your face. it's was only a few seconds later that you had finally noticed his presence, standing up in a rush.

seeing the strange man in front of you all of a sudden, you panicked, taking a step back until wonwoo spoke.

"you feed them too?", he inquired, tilting his head to the side with geunine curiosity. he remembers the way you nodded your head shyly and the way you took him in, your gaze lingering at his tattoed arm that was exposed, the sleeves rolled up a bit.

from that moment on, your paths seemed to cross more frequently. wonwoo found himself drawn to your presence, often finding excuses to linger around the convenience store in hopes of encountering you once more. you'd get so nervous and shy every time he'd come around on that big bike of his, wearing that leather jacket that made him look so cool and his hair that had grown into a mullet that was a little long and shaggy and fell over his forehead and eyes, making him look hot, paired with the tattoos that covered his one arm, he looked irresistible. and not to forget his towering height - oh he was hot.

it had been almost six months into dating and you'd still never ridden on his bike before, until now. wonwoo gestures his hand in a thumbs up, asking you if you are okay and you tap his chest once. he smiles, glad, but really, you were scared, hanging onto wonwoo for dear life. you feel his hand gently intertwine in yours to reassure you as he slows down at a signal. you sit up a little straighter now, allowing your grip around his waist to loosen just a little.

he starts up again, accelerating again. you clutch onto him a little tighter than last time, closing your eyes. the rush of speed and nerves overwhelming you. you tap him twice, indicating you want him to slow down a little and he does, slowing down at a manageable speed for you but still going at a steady pace. as the minutes pass, you find the courage to open your eyes, lifting your head to take in your surroundings. to your surprise, you realized that you were in familiar territory—the neighbourhood where wonwoo lived. with his home now just a mere ten minutes away, a sense of relief washed over you, tempered with a newfound sense of accomplishment for conquering your fears, if only for a moment.

the rest of the ride is smooth. once wonwoo reaches his home, he parks the bike, turns off the engine, mountings his legs on the ground. your arms are still around his waist, gripping him tighter than ever because the bike was now leaning towards the left since he'd put it on the stand. you were somehow convinced that you were going to fall off if you didn't hold onto wonwoo. he takes off his helmet and sets it down in front of him on the gas tank.

"you okay love?", he asks when you haven't let go of him yet. "yeah i'm okay", you manage out softly, your voice muffled through the helmet.

you reluctantly take your hands off wonwoo and move your hands up to take off your helmet. wonwoo gets down first, his height and long legs making it easier for him than for you. he takes both helmets, placing them on the small bench in his yard.

as you remained perched on the bike, a hesitation rushed through you, with the sudden reluctance to dismount the bike. gazing down at the ground beneath you, you tried to steady yourself, despite knowing there was no real risk of falling. with a nervous gulp, you raised your eyes to meet wonwoo's, finding him regarding you with a mixture of amusement and curiosity.

wonwoo shakes his head a little, letting out a soft exhale, letting his hair breathe finally. he runs a hand through his dishevelled hair, the strands falling in an adorable mess around his face. he continues to look at you, wondering why you haven't gotten off yet.

"need help?", he prompts. "how am i supposed to-", you trail off, feeling embarrassed. you manage to swing your one leg to the other side and now you're settled in a sideways position, holding onto the bike so you don't slide off entirely. wonwoo walks forward and wordlessly holds onto you, his hands finding your waist to steady you as you peer up at him.

"i'll pick you up, just wrap your legs around my waist," he says calmly, and you furrow your brows for a second before nodding in understanding. wonwoo lifts you up effortlessly and you instinctively encircle your legs around his torso as your arms wrap around his neck for support. his one arm supported you, securely wrapped around your waist as he held you up. the proximity made your heart rate rush and you lean more into him so you don't fall off.

he grabs the bike keys before heading to the door, unlocking the door with ease and walking inside with you, holding onto you securely. you admire wonwoo up close and gosh, he was so handsome and pretty.

wonwoo sets you down on the kitchen island countertop, his hands lingering on your waist for a moment as you look at him. as you meet his eyes, you can't help but notice how your height almost matches his towering height now. he gives you a small but comforting smile before his hands move off your waist. he unzips his jacket, taking it off, only to expose his tattoed arm as he slides the jacket off, making you gasp ever so softly at the sight. you'd seen wonwoo's tattoos plenty of times before, but they never failed to leave you in awe every time you saw them. despite wonwoo's intimidating appearance - for someone who looked cold, badass and was so buff, he was so soft, sweet and gentle. it was a contrast that never failed to captivate you, drawing you closer to the enigma that was wonwoo.

wonwoo's wearing a sleeveless compression shirt and as you look at him, it's slowly turning your brain to mush with the way it was hugging his body perfectly at all the right places, showing off his build and muscles. the way the fabric hugged and accentuated every sculpted muscle of his sent your thoughts spiralling in a whirlwind. you have to tear your eyes away, opting to look at your lap instead, feeling the rush of heat flood your cheeks. wonwoo smirks to himself when he catches you checking him out and stealing glances at him, a little boost to his ego.

he takes off the gloves, placing them on the counter and finally, his attention is back on you. he looks at you, stepping forward so that he was closer, standing between your legs as he lifts your chin up so that you can meet his gaze.

"what's going on?", he asks softly, his hand caressing your cheek as he looks at you sweetly. your eyes dart to the side before returning to his unwavering gaze.

"i-i don't know", you confess as you look at him. "i just needed some space i guess, everything got too much", you tell and his gaze softens as he looks at you.

"next time you want to escape, at least call me, i can take you", he murmurs, his words carrying a sense of reassurance and comfort. you gulp at the closeness and his words as he stares into your soul.

"yeah-okay", you mumbled softly, blinking at him, getting nervous again. the way wonwoo could render you a shy nervous mess in mere seconds was something that needed to be studied.

before you can dwell on your response more , wonwoo closes the gap between you, his lips meeting yours in a tender and gentle kiss. a rush of warmth floods your body and in that moment, everything seems to stop. he pulls away and you hope he can't hear how loud and fast your heart is beating.

you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him forward as you bury your face in his chest, engulfing him in a hug. wonwoo's arms instantly wrap around your waist, pulling you a little closer to him, letting you bask in his embrace, the comforting weight of his presence grounding you as he hugs you back, burying his face in the crook of your neck. at that moment, amidst the warmth of his embrace, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you suspended in a moment of quiet intimacy.

bonus: the intrusive thoughts really won here

you riding the bike with wonwoo again, the wind is refreshing as he glides on the roads. after that day, you'd gotten a little more confident and okay with riding on wonwoo's bike. but now, it was like second nature to you. your hands are around wonwoo's waist before you have a little mischievous thought and you smile to yourself. your hands slowly creep up to his chest, your fingers finding the buttons of his shirt as you slowly undo them. wonwoo has no idea what's happening until he glances dow n at the feeling of your hands on his chest, seeing what you are doing.

"what are you doing?", he asks, his voice filling your helmet and you suppress the urge to laugh.

"i'm showing the world how sexy my boyfriend is, though i should be gatekeeping you actually", you tease, undoing another button as wonwoo's shirt now hangs on for dear life. your hands creep up under his shirt and you hear the soft groan he lets out as your hands caress his abs and you grin, satisfied knowing the effect you were having on him.

"oh love, you are so in for it when we get home", he says making you chuckle as you hug him tighter.

taglist: @biboramp3 @naaaaafla @weird-bookworm @icyminghao @kyeomyun @lvlystars @blue-jisungs @wootify @ihrtboo @idubiluv @n4mj00nvq

@joshuaahong @fallingforshua29 @itsveronicaxxx @frankenstein852 @mirxzii @wheeboo @writingmeraki @wqnwoos

[vaspider]

Look. A little advice.

Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.

You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.

But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'

You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)

The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'

That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:

Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.

Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.

If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.

Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.

Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.

You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Bright Eyes | 1

Part 2

Prince Aemond's marriage was borne out of necessity and political advantage. Let it never be said that he did not know duty, for duty was what kept Aemond Targaryen grounded. But in truth, the prince felt cheated by the match, for he felt his wife was getting scraps as her dowry. After all, she was chosen for him because of her family's wealth and resources. It was then rather scandalous when the icy prince became temperate to his bride.

Aemond Targaryen x Reader | 2k+ | cw: fem!reader, arranged marriage au, smut (virginity loss, vaginal penetration), reluctant lovers ig, typos, etc.

A/N: HIIII THIS IS PART OF THE HOUSE OF THE DRAGON BIG BANG CELEBRATION 🎉🎉🎉 I split mine into 3 parts but I can only post the other 2 parts here on Tumblr after the whole event has ended to respect and give way for the other submissions. It will be available on AO3 to read though so yeah! Thank you so much to the love of my life @ewanmitchellcrumbs for making the art for me (and in such short notice too cos my artist unfortunately deactivated their Tumblr). I'm so luv youuuu Also i haven't written anything for hotd in a while so i don't remember who I'm supposed to tag so kejhshs surprise! And enjoy ig!!! HIHIHI

Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @delicious-xx @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony @risefallrise @slavyanskiyahui @thebullship @sa3losa

"Perhaps," I extend a hand to him, "you ought to hold my hand."

Aemond straightens from where he stood, lone eye darting from his feet, to my hand, to my face. He finds offence in this offer, a line threatens to dig deep between his brows.

"The-" I trail off and look away, my gloved hand, however, does not retreat, "-terrain is quite bumpy." I look back to him expectantly, "I know the land well. It would be easier for me to lead you through-"

"Then lead me," Aemond cuts, both hands going behind him, "skip the fussing."

I purse my lips and watch him for a moment.

The wind strengthens. It blows past me yet I do not move with it, even with my thick dress pulling me back. In contrast, Aemond shuffles in his spot, his coat catching the gush of wind and his hair raking his skin. I had offered to braid Aemond's hair to keep it out of his face and he said he could manage because what was the breeze on a meadow compared to the ripping air at the back of a dragon?

He realizes meadow was too kind a term for this patch of land I was showing him. It was a hellscape, not lush or flowery like a meadow at all. The field stretched out to a cliff, and below it laid viscous waves that added to the horrible weather.

I nod and bring my hands to my skirts instead, "please watch your step. A few more paces, we'll reach the area that has many-"

Aemond grunts when he steps on a hidden divot. His heel digs into the mushy surface and he nearly twists his ankle.

I whip my head back and look at him, finally completing my thought, "-holes in the ground."

He clenches his jaw and yanks his foot out of the muck. I silently turn away and continue walking.

The prince mumbles to himself as he follows me.

Finally, I reach the top of the slope. I situate myself atop a rock and look down at the land. I clasp my hands together as I feel the man walk up beside me. I make it a point to really just let the silence simmer, to let him take in the view, though in truth, there really wasn't much of it. It was just-

"Dirt as far as the eye can see."

I turn to Aemond when he says this.

"How good," he purses his lips and brings his hands behind him, "I've always wanted a hill of dirt all for myself."

I slowly step down from the rock and lift my eyes up to my husband-to-be.

"Vhagar might even like it," he says, lone eye scrutinizing me then the land, which was part of my dowry.

It was the worst pickings from my family, that much was clear. But with my three older brothers set to inherit much of my house's estate, I couldn't really complain, after all, I was the youngest... and a woman.

Aemond, of course, would do the complaining, as he has been.

"I am glad to hear that, my prince," I offer a smile.

The look Aemond gives me is one of astonishment. I can practically make out how his covered eye widened underneath his eye patch. He mutters under his breath, "gods, she's fucking thick."

I pretend I don't hear it and follow after the man when he begins to walk away.

The long haired blonde struggles yet again against the uneven terrain. I no longer make the mistake of offering my assistance. For his sake, or perhaps my own, I leave a good distance between the two of us, so that if he were to topple, even if I did instinctively reach out to him again, he would be too far to reach.

I mirror his steps, right leg moving only after his did. Of course, I did not step in the holes and bumps that were so obvious to me. Still, I tail him diligently.

This was why I froze when he turned back and scowled at me.

"What are you doing?" asks the prince with furrowed brows.

I part my lips, "I-"

"Come here," he reaches out, "I have things to discuss with you."

My eyes turn to his extended hand. I look at his large, ruddy palm and feel my belly swirl in reaction. Apprehensively, I place my hand in his, and he rather discourteously snags me close to him. It nearly costs me my balance, but I'm glad it doesn't.

I watch as Aemond links our arms together before he walking off. My eyes dart from his bicep to his profile. I take in the shape of his nose and think about how our children would inherit it. I press my lips into a line at the thought.

"Our marriage is that of convenience," he turns to me, "and duty."

When Aemond does not continue, I tighten my lips together and nod.

He looks away and walks at a slower pace, "we are to be married in a few days time, and after that, you will no longer belong to your house, you will belong to mine," I notice how his expression hardens, "you will belong to me."

"I understand this," I retort.

He tilts his head, "do you?"

I nod, "I do," I tighten my grip on his arm, "my whole life I have been groomed to be the perfect wife. Once I am yours, everything that I am will be for you."

Aemond's face is blank when he looks at me, and yet I can tell he wishes me to clarify.

So I do, "I will be your wife, your princess, the lady of your house, the mother of your children. I am for you... and you for me."

"Mmm," he looks away and adjusts my grip on him. He loosens it, "yes."

For a moment, we both simply walk on the rocky ground.

Aemond draws a deep breath and turns his head to gaze upon the façade of what would be his castle after our marriage. It was a shabby little thing, run down and without servants, but it was situated in a strip of land that would prove to be beneficial if, say, war came.

"Your father is character," Aemond starts, "a rather ambitious man, wouldn't you agree?"

"He is," I chew my lip, "if he could, he'd take the stars and put them on his walls."

The prince hums, "do you share in his ambition?"

"I-"

He squeezes my arm. He throws a look, as if displeased that I would answer so quickly.

I raise my brows, retaining what I meant to answer, though saying it much slower than I would have, "I have no other ambition than to be a dutiful bride. My ambition is your ambition."

Aemond does not respond nor speak up until we make it back to the carriage.

There, both our mothers are waiting, both equally pleased by our return.

"There they are," my mother says with a smile, "I trust you enjoyed your stroll, my prince."

Aemond eyes my mother as he breaks away from me to walk over to his. Queen Alicent smiles at his son and brushes the hair that was flying to his face.

"The walk was too aggravating to be enjoyed. There was not a single patch of leveled ground," the prince say, "I doubt even sheep would enjoy it here."

I play off my agitation while my mother laughs, "you needn't worry about the ground being level, prince Aemond. You'll have peasants to do that for you."

I walk towards my mother when she reaches out to me. She smiles and takes my hand, "come, my daughter. Today will be your last day as my baby."

I lock gazes with Aemond as my mother kisses my temple.

I feel embarrassment creep up my cheeks.

The honest truth was, I don't remember what happened between that moment and when my husband was undoing the back of my dress. I vaguely remember the wedding, sharing dances with my brothers, with Aemond's brothers, with Helaena. I can recall King Viserys retiring early because of his headache, but then again, he did this often, so it could simply be a memory from another day.

All I know was that Aemond's fingers were hard, hot, and nimble. What would have taken me ages to take off my dress, he did so in a few seconds. I do my best not to breathe heavily, but even though I was not facing him, I couldn't seem to keep from heaving.

It was quite dark. The few candles that were lit did not really help in illuminating the room, but that did not make the idea of being naked in front of a man any easier for me.

My hammering heart commanded my eyes shut as the feverish dragon stripped me bare before him. I swear his touch burned my shivering skin as he slowly revealed my body to himself. I feel him brush his palms down my arms as he pulled my dress down my shoulders. Soon enough my entire body prickled as my shift dropped to my feet.

I cover my breasts with my arm and block my sex with my hand.

"Would you like to undress me, wife?" he mutters.

I feel the hair on the back of my neck raise when I feel his hot breath hit my skin. It was such a plainly worded question, yet it made me want to jump out of the window.

I slowly turn my head, opening my eyes to steal a look of him from over my shoulder. I don't know why, but I say, "yes."

The fact was I didn't. I didn't want to undress him. I would like to think it was quite apparent with how I slowly turned and apprehensively uncovered myself to be able to undress him.

I did not know why I was so shocked that he was unabashedly eyeing my body. I did not know why I was so shocked when his hands reached out to my waist, when his fingers pressed into my flesh, and his nails left marks on my skin. I let out a squeak and fidgeted with his shirt as he did so.

He only releases me when I pull his top off. I step out of my shift, bunched by my ankles, and walk closer to him to undo his breeches. I do not look at his face once, but I know he is still looking at me.

Once his ties were loose, I ghost my fingertips by his waistband, uncertain and hesitant of what to do next.

Recognizing this, he takes my wrists, but he freezes the next moment, clearly not expecting me to do what I did next.

I kissed him. I tilted my head and pressed my lips against his. It was chaste-- probably how I kissed him when we were proclaimed man and wife, but gods did it make my body burn.

I lick my lips after pulling away. I think about clutching his face, and so I do. I reach out to his cheeks and shift on my toes, leaning in for another peck.

I whimper when he pulls me flush against his chest. The contrast of my softer, colder body on his leaner, warmer one was something welcome. Apart from his hands tugging me close, it was like his very essence was drawing me into him.

We do not break our kiss even as he pushes me towards the bed, not even as I topple back and land on the mattress. There is a desperation in his kisses, as if the act of ending it would cause him harm.

He guides me underneath him. He parts my legs and makes room for himself between them. He rubs against me, and it is then I am reminded that I had failed to strip him fully naked. He immediately moves to remedy this, which is then when he pulls away.

When he does so, he rips at his trousers, hell-bent on freeing himself in as little time as possible.

Aemond gets on his knees and gracelessly pulls his remaining clothing off. It may have been dark but I could see him. I could see all of him now. It made my core pulse with excitement, dread, anticipation, and apprehension all at once.

I sigh when he sinks down and presses against me. He kisses me again and I feel his hardened length press against my belly.

I mold my body against him, curling myself in a way that fit snug with his form. I bring my thighs against his hips and feel encouraged when his hand squeeze and pull them closer to him.

He breaks our kiss to draw in a much needed breath and the haze that built in my mind grows thicker when Aemond begins to trail his lips down my jaw and neck. My nails find their way to his spine when he begins to buck his hips into me.

My skin prickles and my heart pounds when he whispers something into my ear. I did not know what he said, but I was certain it was High Valyrian. I was also somehow certain it had something to do with the way I felt.

Aemond hums and sinks his nose behind my ear. I whimper in response, arms tightening around him. I embrace him like I did not intend to let him go, and it truth, I really didn't.

"You make such pretty sounds for me."

I feel embarrassment creep up my cheeks. I am glad he does not see it.

I make another sound when I feel Aemond's hand trail between my thighs. We both hiss when his fingers find my sensitive center.

He pushes himself up on one arm and lifts his body. Aemond grabs himself and makes me yelp when he rubs his cock against my folds. It was then I realized how wet I've become. 

He does this for a while. He coats himself with my dampness. He continues until I feel my body drip with sweat and arousal, until the arm keeping him up tires, and then I feel him slowly push into me.

When he does so, he sinks down and fits into me oh-so perfectly. The intrusion was not at all uncomfortable, in fact, it made my belly burn with need.

I find myself kissing the crook of his neck as he laid atop me. I feel him sigh in response.

"Please," I whisper, thighs rubbing against him, "I need more."

Aemond wastes no time in attending to my plea.

I mewl when he begins to thrust his hips. His movements are short and tight; he barely pulls out. He continues like this then changes pace when he grabs the back of my knees and pushes them close to my ribs. His movements grow bolder, more deliberate and harder.

He, himself, makes pretty sounds as he moves into me. 

I feel sweat begin to build on my skin. I feel a pressure begins to tighten in me.

"Take my seed like a dutiful wife," he kisses my jaw, "I'll put a dragon in you."

My back arches, "Aemond."

"I wish to see you full of me," his one hand comes up to my breast and squeezes it, "I wish to fill you with me."

"P-please fill me," I respond with a shaky voice.

Aemond grunts, "I will."

My heart nearly stops when I feel burning pleasure break into me. My mouth releases the remaining air in my lungs as it calls out my husband's name.

Aemond makes gutteral noises as his movements grow rough and eventually stop.

I bury my face into his shoulder and catch my breath. Aemond follows suit but takes only a few breaths before lifting himself up and rolling off me.

He brings my legs together and covers my form with a blanket. I tense when he stands and walks off, feeling a panic come over me when he disappears. It only intensifies when he does not come back quickly.

I am about to sit up but then I freeze when I see him walk over to me. He is now clothed and had something in his hand.

"Clean yourself up," he places something on the bedside table, "you will not enjoy it when you wake," he turns to me, "I suggest you get dressed as well. You are rather cold."

I feel my body burn as Aemond walks off, circling the bed, coming under the sheets on his side.

I do as he says, slowly pushing the blanket off, feeling a chill run down my spine when my bare feel touch the cold ground. I stand and see that there was a wash basin on the table, as well as a towel.

I take in a deep breath and wipe myself down with warm water that was prepared for me. Once I was done, I examine the floor and pick up my shift. I put it on and put out the candles. 

I climb into bed and do my best not to touch Aemond. My voice breaks when I call out, "good night."

He does not respond so I tell myself he was asleep. It takes a while for me to do the same.

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: TWENTY. I actually can't believe it. And back with another longer update! Lotssss going on here ngl, but hoping you enjoy it xx

Warnings: Talks of a withdrawal experience and a very very brief mention of suicidal thoughts (past tense)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

Matty waited and waited for it to come out. 

For someone to mention it. For the media to catch wind or for the story to blow. He waited and waited, but nothing.

Liar. Liar. Liar.

It was driving him mad.

The reminder echoed in the farthest parts of his mind almost constantly and clouded his every thought.

And to only make matters worse, Teddy had lied too.

And what the fuck kind of man did that make him, hey? What sort of deranged idiot made such promises to a kid? I won’t tell, he’d said. He’d sworn it. 

He’d go back and scream at himself now, if he only could. But life didn’t fucking work that way, did it? And he had never been any good at the whole not fucking up part. He was selfish in that regard.

He could go ahead and blame this whole mess all on just wanting to soothe Teddy, to stop him from crying. Or the hope to simply leave what had happened behind them in a desperate attempt not to hurt her anymore than he already had.

But in the end, it all came down to his own narcissistic needs. It was what made the circle, wasn’t it?

“Matty?”

Matty’s head whipped so hard left that he winced at the slight pull he felt in his neck, turning away from where he’d been staring aimlessly into the mirror. Mouse was stood there, only an arms length away, wearing an apologetic smile on her face. 

Matty wanted to reach out, to touch. To say that he was sorry. But he knew that she’d only chuckle at him in return, all fond and sweet, and then ask him why. 

What have you got to be sorry for, Matty?

God, his heart hurt with it all. It hurt. It hurt.

Fuck did it hurt.

“Babe, you alright?”

He blinked, hard, and then, “Yeah, just, nervous you know?”

She chuckled at him. Exactly like he said she would. All fond and sweet. Lovely, like her.

“Nervous?” Squeaks repeated with one of those infamous smiles of hers, the kind that further stretched the scar going across the bridge of her nose and lit up her entire face.

Matty swallowed thickly at the sight but returned the smile all the same. It killed him, it really did, but he couldn’t say anything about it now. It had been days since it all happened and telling her of it would only hurt her more, he knew that. He knew it. And besides, no one had said a word. No one had mentioned it. So this was his secret to keep, and every relationship had those, didn’t they? His secret- 

And Teddy’s.

At the thought, Matty had to struggle not to throw up what little lined his stomach. 

Mouse stepped forward then, closing that distance between them to finger the collar of the polo he’d chosen only twenty minutes earlier, sorting out the kink he’d made in it when he’d tugged the thing on. 

“Can you blame me?” He finally spoke, gazing down at her now, at the curve of her mouth and the freckles that dotted her right cheek. Can you blame me? He wanted to ask her again, only for an entirely different reason.

She just chuckled once more, the soft sound of it danced in the little space shared between them. “You’ve already met.”

He widened his eyes in very real alarm. “You bein’ serious?”

That laugh again.

“Honestly, Matty. I get why you’re nervous, but it's just Adi.” She patted the collar down flat, hand slipping away to rest on his chest so that she could peer up at him. His own hands went to her hips almost unconsciously and he took a deep breath.

“It’s Finn, too.”

Finn. That had been eating away at him as well, the whole fact that Squeaks had gone out of her way to set up this little meeting for them. So that he could finally meet the man who’d been her best mate since uni and who had basically helped her raise Teddy. 

Typically- i.e. before rehab- he’d deal with a situation like this with a quick hit, a rub of the gums or just a line in the loo to get his head to work the way he wanted it to. So that he wouldn't have to deal with all the emotions that always seemed to want to fuck him over. But he couldn’t do that. Knew he wouldn’t. Didn’t stop the fucking itch though, did it.

“Yes, it’s Finn too.” Matty tuned back in at the sound of her somewhat amused voice, he found that she was pursuing her mouth at him to hide her growing grin. “But it’s just that, just Finn. You don’t have to stress. Honestly, the most you’ll get is a hard glare or a few pushy questions, but then he’ll be sound. Love you even.”

Love.

Matty’s mind lingered on the word for a moment, but she was smiling now, looking up at him with those eyes of hers. He lifted a hand to stroke along the edge of her cheek, trailing a thumb over a faint pink line that was covered up slightly by makeup, and wondered what she would say if he just told her now.

“I find that hard to believe,” He answered instead, watching the movement his hand made before his eyes flickered back to meet hers, “People either love me or hate me, you see.”

“Oh, is that so?” Squeaks laughed, the hand not resting on his chest moving to circle his wrist. “Bit egotistical of you to assume you mean that much to everyone you meet. I mean, I doubt the postman gives you a second thought, lovely.”

Matty reeled his head back a tad with that, pursing his lips at her words even though he loved it when she teased him like this. “You not heard any of my songs?”

He was gifted an airy snort in return and she then patted his chest before stepping away. Matty watched on as his hand slipped from her cheek. 

“I have, which is why I’m not too surprised that you’ve worked yourself up about this so much.” He saw her smirk and then she tutted at him, “Always one for theatrics, Matthew.”

He lunged then in a playful attempt to grab at her, but she jumped away with a gleeful laugh and a second to spare, scurrying back into the living room before his fingers could capture the t-shirt she’d chosen to wear- a vintage band tee, one of his he reminded himself.

“We’re off soon,” She called out not a second later, leaving him standing there alone in the hallway once more, “So make sure you’re ready to leave, your highness!”

Matty huffed a small laugh and then took a deep breath. He could do this, if not for himself then for her.

–

As expected, Finn did give him a hard time. 

The pair of them had wandered into the studio not long after Squeaks had dropped Teddy off at nursery, Matty waiting in the car this time around so as to not be seen, and found Adi already there with the mysterious Finn lounging on the settee, looking so at home. 

He was a good looking guy, Matty had noticed that first. Rugged and built a bit like that of a rugby player. He had a beard as full as the hair on his head, a rival to Ross’s own, and was far from what Matty had been first expecting in truth. 

When Squeaks had said that the guy was an artist, he’d automatically pictured some lanky fella, maybe with wired frames or a ponytail. But Finn was nothing of the sort, in fact he might’ve been the total opposite, and that made meeting him all the more unnerving. Because Matty hadn’t quite prepared for this.

Finn had a good few inches on him too, which was hard to miss and made it that much harder for Matty to not be as intimated as he wanted to be. A kick to that old ego of his Squeaks had mentioned earlier, but Matty could admit to feeling a bit out of his league amongst the guy, if only to himself.

The meeting had started off with the usual ‘you hurt her, I’ll hurt you’ warning, then trailed onto simple introduction and conversation starters. But Matty was well aware of these carefully arranged stares that never seemed to stray as time ticked on, which put him on edge and had him clenching down on his jaw hard enough to keep from biting at the bloke.

But the looks had ebbed slowly. Finn relaxed, bit by bit. And Matty? Matty tried his fucking hardest to make himself more than likeable. He attempted to mention Finn’s work and his own interest in art, which hadn’t gone down as well as he’d liked, he’d admit. So he’d quickly made do and switched tactics, asking him if he was interested in football at all, but of course the guy just had to be a sodding Sunderland supporter. As if Matty hadn’t already been pulling at teeth. 

It was just after that though, that Finn took the opportunity to finally seek a change in pace, and Matty had honest to God been thankful for the sudden interest Finn took in him, the man leaning forward in his seat ever so slightly and looking as though he wanted to ask him a question. 

And he did, only, it was one Matty hadn’t exactly been expecting so soon.

“So, you really clean then?”

Matty didn’t think he’d ever forget the way the entire room fell silent at that.

Finn’s voice was gruff, northern much like his own but more so. His words pooled out of his mouth so clumped together but low enough that his tone could be mistaken for soft, though only if you were stupid enough not to notice the harsh grunt behind them. 

Matty blinked back at him, honestly not at all ashamed to admit that the question had caught him off guard. Though, maybe he should’ve been expecting it. It was a question he’d come to hear as often as ‘How’re you?’ since he’d gotten out of his first stint in rehab. 

But still, now? In a space he’d come to feel a comfort in, around people he’d grown so close to? It made him feel like an imposter. Like he was just playing pretend here until everything in his life went tits up again.

“Finn, what the fuck?”

Pulling his gaze away, Matty turned to find Squeaks glaring at her mate, who was still sat on the settee, looking perfectly content with it all.

“You being serious?” She continued on, having paused her conversation with Adi entirely to level Finn with a stare that made even Matty nervous, “Where’d you get off on asking him that? Quite rightly, I don't think it’s any of your business.”

“Like fuck, it isn’t. He’s dating you, in’t he?” Finn immediately shot back at her and Matty watched on as Adi mirrored his exact movements, head rolling back over to where Finn met Mouse’s glare head on with one of his own. Only, his wasn’t fueled by anger, instead a stern sort of seriousness Matty had only ever really witnessed as a kid on his Grandad, who’d been a proud and stubborn man.

Mouse scoffed and shook her head at him, “Exactly, he’s dating me. Last time I checked, you weren’t included in that description.”

“I’m your mate, Mouse.” The man was quick to defend, looking hurt now. “It’s my job to look out for you, and I don’t care if that pisses you off. The shit I’ve heard about him ain't at all good and, in truth, I entertained all of it in the beginning, but I never actually once thought you’d end up fucking him.”

Another eerie silence wreaked havoc on the unsteady atmosphere.

“What’s that meant to mean?”

She was calm now, none of that revving rage spurring her voice on like it had done just moments earlier. Matty didn’t know how this would end, only that he’d never heard her speak like that in all the time she’d known him.

“What’s it meant to- what do you think it means! Exactly that.” Finn fired back at her, steeling his already hardened eyes, “You were getting back out there, flirting and texting. Just having a fuckin’ good time for once! And that was all nice and well, but now you tell me you’re actually with him? That you're making a go of it?” He barked out a sharp laugh, “What happens when he fucks everything up and uses again? You planning to be there for him when it all falls down around you? ‘Cause it’s only a matter of time, Mouse. Let me tell you.”

That hit. Hard.

Enough so that Matty surprised even himself at the suddenness of his voice, harsh but steady in the cautious quiet that had engulfed them all and splintering the growing rift between the two friends. “Where do you get off on saying that then?”

He met the other man’s eyes and noted the displeasure which swam in them.

“Nah, honestly ‘cause I’d really like to know. You have no idea what the fuck I’ve done, what I’ve been through, only what you’ve seen in the media. Yeah?” Matty barrelled on, pushing forward in his seat so that he could rest his forearms on the tops of his knees, actively trying not to show just how much the bloke’s assumptions had hindered him. “So go on then, tell me. Tell me what you’ve worked out about me in the past half hour that you’ve had to actually get to know me.”

Matty received a mirthless snuff in return, along with a slight shake of head, “Not much to add that I haven’t already said.”

Matty licked at his lower lip then because he knew if he didn’t take a second to think he’d lash out, fuck things up more than they already had been. After, he lifted his chin up at the other man in a slow nod.

“Right, yeah, because I haven’t just sat here making an arse out of myself, trying to find some common ground with you.” He gave a short humourless laugh that seemed to flood the studio, “But I'm gonna remind you of something, I’m only here for her, and her alone. So you can save all your jokes and your tragic fucking questions, alright? Because it’s one thing to actually want to know for her wellbeing, and even Teddy’s fucking safety. But to throw it in my face is another fucking thing, mate.”

Matty stood up at that, on shaky legs yes, but who did he have to fucking admit that to? Then patted down his pockets in search of a fucking smoke, shifting past the too large coffee table in the suddenly too small room to make his exit. 

He took another small breath though, a much needed one in fact, when he passed by Squeaks, who was sat there looking so angry and lost and humiliated, and didn’t even have to force himself to give her a pained sort of smile as he did. He didn’t dare touch her though, not sure if she’d want it, but did say, “I’ll be outside.”

She swallowed thickly in turn, Matty saw the motion of it as her throat bobbed and she turned to look up into his eyes. He was quick to look away, hands itching for something to hit, to cling to. 

The steel staircase was a welcome sight, even with their too many flights, but the kerbed sidestreet sat beyond it was one better. Matty all but gasped for breath the second he pushed through the heavy door, eager to relieve the ache crushing his lungs and burning a hole in his chest.

Childishly he kicked out some of that restrained aggression on the brick wall of the building a second later, revelling in the ringing pain which radiated up through his foot and to his leg, then did so again until he calmed enough to yank his pack from his jacket pocket and fall against it.

The fuck did the twat get off on saying shit like that to him? A stranger to boot. Fair enough, think it all you like, wouldn’t affect him then, he could honestly give less of a shit, but to his face? That was fucking brave. Tactless. 

Matty scoffed at the whirlwind of thoughts his mind was made up of, teeth cutting into the tip of his tongue as he scraped the muscle along their ridged edge.

He couldn’t help but linger on Finn’s words though, wondering if that really was all that he was good for. A fun time, or a quick line. Some faceless person on a drunken one night stand, or the famous singer some fan was hoping to bag. 

Matty had his phone in hand and his contact list pulled up before he could even realise it, the gesture second nature to him now. Something goes wrong? Call the closest dealer. That was the way it went, the way it had always gone.

But he couldn’t, not this time. He’d said he’d stick with it, he said he would. And there was still a chance. There was still a shitty piece of hope that had managed to lodge its way inside his chest telling him that Squeaks could still stick around, wasn’t there?

He laughed to himself at the mere idea of it. At how stupid he must’ve seemed, back there. To a man who’d probably never had to feel the mind numbing shakes of withdrawal or a paranoia that stretched a mile long. Who’d never been forced to deal with hallucinations that made you borderline suicidal, or an imminent need to peel the skin from off your bones.

Matty felt sick with it all. Hands trembling with the anger and anxiety he felt as he raised them up towards his face to light his fag.

He was fucking trying.

God, was he trying. And yet, people still asked for more than that. 

Where the fuck did Finn get off on cornering him like some little kid anyway? On looking down on him like some junkie sprawled out on a slab step up on the high street?

It fucking angered him, filled him with this senseless rage and evident misery that everything would soon come crushing down around him.

Things were too good to be true.

He knew that fact like he knew his own face.

It was only after he’d managed to dwindle his fag right down to the very nub that Matty realised he’d been sat on the kerb, head hanging between his knees, whilst the rest of the world had seemingly carried on around him, none the wiser to him and his many issues. He only seemed to register it though when the familiar sound of the studio’s heavy door squeaked open, hinges piercing down the hushed sidestreet. 

She joined him there on the pavement after a moment's hesitation, a moment he wouldn’t dare admit gnawed at his heart.

“I want to say sorry for Finn, but I know you wouldn’t care much for that.”

Matty wanted to laugh at her opening, at least he could say that she knew him that much.

She merely sighed though when he kept quiet and revelled in the way her elbow brushed against the side of his arm, lighting up each nerve that laid there. “He claims he’s being protective, but even I knew he was acting like a prick.”

Matty just hummed, already drawing another cigarette from his battered box. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth though when she thieved one for herself.

“Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck to say.” She admitted after allowing him to light its end, which was something he appreciated, seeing as how he was in the same fucking boat with that. “I just, I don’t know. I wish he’d have voiced his concerns a bit better, or at least to me before I went and arranged this whole shit show.”

Matty chewed on the inside of his cheek, weighing her words as he took another drag. He let the smoke fester and fill his mouth, coating his tongue before he finally hummed once more.

Though it seemed like she’d already gotten sick of that. “That all I’m gonna get then, just a hm?”

It was his turn to sigh then and a swirl of grey escaped with it. 

“What do you want me to say, Mouse?”

She frowned, although he didn’t know exactly why, before pulling her attention down towards the gravel road. She shrugged the shoulder nearest to him and said, “That it didn’t bother you. That you know he’s just a prat who’s acting the big brother. That you don’t really believe a word he says is true.”

Matty turned to peer over at her then, cigarette hand resting on the knob of his knee, smouldering in the light breeze. “Then I’d be lying.”

But you’re already a liar, his head screamed. 

What’s one, or two more?

He looked away from her at that, nose suddenly stinging as his eyes began to itch. Then quickly took another drag. 

She shuffled closer, jeans scratching at the grit of the kerb beneath them, and he was only slightly surprised when she laid her head to rest on the curve of his arm. “Does it matter? What Finn thinks, or what anyone thinks?”

How could it not? He wanted to ask her.

“I don’t know, Squeaks.” He replied instead, noting how she smiled sadly before she raised her fag up to her mouth. 

“I’m happy, Matty. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.” She revealed to him, a quiet whisper catching on the wind. Matty could hear the honesty in her words, the kind that thawed at the emotional wall he’d been building between himself and the rest of the world since he were a kid. “Are you?”

And that was the punch that sent it all falling. 

Was he happy?

He thought so, maybe more than he’d ever truly been.

So he told her that, voice thick as a wall of broken bricks settled around him. And although he kept on looking straight, he took her hand in his, “Yeah. I am.”

—

The days that followed ‘Finn’s Fucked Up Fuck-Up’- as I’d come to dub it as- were rocky, to say the very least. 

Matty had pulled away from me slightly, claiming that he had studio time and album stuff to work on, whilst I was busy ignoring my best friend. Which was a rather hard task to do when you were so used to having a constant rapport with someone. 

In truth, the whole thing was eating me up inside, but I knew it would turn around sooner or later. Things couldn’t get worse than they already had. 

And I had to believe that. 

“You seem down, ma chérie.”

I picked at the corner edge of the settee. It was one of those odd days, where everything appeared so quiet and you were left with nothing much that was worth doing. 

Teddy was already at nursery, Matty had texted to say that he was with Jamie, and Adi had gone to see her Grandmother. 

It had been a long while since I’d not had a day packed full of work, even my email box sat strangely empty. Which had left me on the sofa with fuck all to do until I had to go a pick up Teds again. But then I’d received a call from my mum.

“Non, not down. Just, things are a bit hectic at the moment.” I replied to her, smiling in the hopes that it would somehow ease all her worries, but that frown she wore held fast.

“Parle-moi, je t'en prie.” She sighed, shaking her head at me, or rather the situation, “How can I help when you won’t talk to me?”

My mouth wrinkled as I cast my eyes about the rest of the room. I didn’t want to talk about it with her, or at all in truth. But she had a way of forcing things out of me and I knew that she’d see the situation for what it was, so I ended up relaying the last few weeks of my life to her and waited impatiently to see how she’d react.

I received only a soft hum from her at first, her attention focused on something above the camera for a long moment before it trailed back on over to me. “I don’t know much of him, this Matty of yours, ma Souris. You know I only read my newspaper each morning and steer clear of the web.” 

I smiled at that, the web, it reminded me of days back home and the route I’d had to walk to get a decent signal before she had finally agreed to fitting the wifi. She continued on though, none the wiser to the train my thoughts had wandered onto.

“He seemed to make you happy when I came to visit, and I witnessed how he was with Teddy. I knew then that he felt something for you, but you, you have always been so hard to read.” She tittered softly at that, smiling at me through a screen, and not for the first time did I wish that she wasn’t so far away. “It was in the kitchen though, that I realised you felt the same. Although, I don’t think you knew it.”

I rolled my eyes, the tiny beginnings of a smile playing on my lips. “We were friends.”

“Ah les amis!” She tutted, not daring to speak the English word as she waved my sorry attempt at a defence away, “You two were never just that, not really. I told you from the start, non? You were glowing, chérie. I knew it like the sun knows the sky, that he would be it for you.”

I swallowed heavily at the surety in her tone and then glanced away, fingers tightening around my phone.

“Souris, I adore Finn, you know that. But do not allow his words to mar what you feel. If this Matty feels the same way then he won’t let it either. Things will work out, one way or another. Tu verras.”

–

He looked good. That was the first thought that hit me when I rounded the corner only to instantly spot him.

He was stood, grinning softly over at George, who appeared to be spinning some kind of tale or other whilst the pair of them smoked outside of the studio they’d been hiding away in. It was an obsolete building, dull and grey, and had a low metal fencing just beyond the main entrance.

Matty wore his usual wash of denim, along with a shirt just a darker shade of blue beneath an old leather bomber. I smiled at the sight of him, and took a second to steel myself.

Even though it had only been a couple of days since I’d seen Matty last, I really had missed the insolent idiot. 

“Oi aren’t you from that one band?”

Both Matty and George seemed to jump at the sound of my teasing lilt, heads shooting up over to find that it was just me standing there with a grin. I snorted at the looks on the pair of their faces, eyes as wide as dinner plates and jaws ajar. 

“Christ, you scared the shit outta me.” Matty breathed, shaking his head at me even though he was now sporting the beginnings of a grin, I felt a weight slip off my shoulders at the sight of it. “What are you even doing here?”

Wanting to dampen my pleased little smile, I pulled my mouth up to one side as Matty roped me into a hug, glad that he actually seemed happy to see me. 

I buried my face into his shoulder and felt him relax a fraction in my hold, it made me wonder if he’d been feeling a similar way. 

It had been hard, not knowing what would come next for us after the whole Finn fiasco, but seeing Matty now only further proved to me that I really wanted things to work out between us. He made things brighter, made me want for myself for the first time in a long time.

“Jamie mentioned you were recording, so I asked what time you might be wrapping up.” I answered him with a small shrug, pulling away to smile over at George in hello but more than grateful for the arm that Matty kept wrapped around me. “That alright?”

I was ashamed to admit that it had been a very real fear, one which had almost made me turn around a couple of times on my over, but I was glad now that I hadn’t.

“‘Course it’s alright, you pillock. You’re always welcome here.” 

I blinked in slight surprise, because it hadn’t been Matty that had chosen to reply to me, but George. “Oh.”

The drummer snorted, thoroughly amused, it seemed, by my monosyllabic response. Matty chuckled too, dipping his head down to brush his nose against my temple and press a slow kiss to my cheek. I almost held my breath, having missed having him so close.

“Missed you.” He murmured to me quietly, almost as though he’d just gone and read my mind, but then he was drawing away again. Not too far though, instead he moved to stand behind me and allowed his arms to hang over both my shoulders. 

I smiled, contented, and he raised his lit cigarette to my lips in a silent offer. I took a small drag, feeling a flush rush to my face when I caught the way George stood smirking at the pair of us. 

I lifted a hand up to encase one of Matty’s forearms, enjoying the way he pulled me in even closer so that I could lean against him, his chin coming to rest on the top of my head. 

“How’s it been going then?” I asked and the two of them were quick to delve into an explanation on their newest song, jumping over one another’s sentences in their giddiness to finally tell someone else about what they’d been working on. 

And just like that things seemed to slot back into place. 

It wasn’t too long later that George said to Matty that he could go ahead and leave, letting us know that he’d be heading back inside to clean up the track they’d been playing with, and Matty hadn’t argued. Instead, he’d grinned down at me as he took hold of my hand, cheersing George before we said our goodbyes. 

Together, we ended up in a little coffee shop a street or two away. Matty had wanted to surprise me with the order, so I had stood by the window and waited whilst he’d gone to pay. He handed me a cup full of something sweet once he’d returned, more sugar than anything else in truth, but I liked it all the same and sipped on it slowly whilst he’d led us back through the bustling streets towards a neighbouring park.

It was almost freeing to be out like this with him, seeing him smile and laugh whilst we simply walked with no real destination in mind. It was not an image most typically saw of Matty, that I knew. On stage he wore his front like armour, when there were cameras he was cocksure and arrogant, but then, in small moments with me, he appeared only settled.

“How’s Teddy?” Matty asked me soon enough. He looked over at me with this odd sort of expression, genuinely curious as well as concerned, and my heart melted a tad.

I returned the soft smile he gave, “Good. Missing this weirdo we’ve gotten used to hanging about, but he’s been happy.”

Matty rolled his eyes and nudged my shoulder with his own, swaying alongside me. He peered down at his almost empty coffee cup, tapping at its cardboard edge. “Has he said anything?”

I frowned over at him, “What, about you being gone?”

He peered back, eyes flickering left and right between my own before he ultimately nodded his head just the once.

Pursing my lips, I thought his question over. “He asked if we could call you a couple times, and if you were popping round. But other than that, he’s been fine with us just texting. Laughed himself blue in the face when he saw that picture you sent him yesterday.”

Matty snorted. “What, ‘cause I trod in dog shit?”

I hummed, then peered down at his feet, glad to see that he wasn't still wearing the boots he’d shown us the day previous. Matty rolled his eyes, catching on to what I’d been doing.

“And you?” He then asked, as the two of us strolled around a slow bend.

I glanced over at him, glad to see him already looking back, “I missed you.”

It was brave of me to say. I didn’t much like being vulnerable, but with him, he almost made it easy. 

Matty smiled. This soft, sure thing. Then looped an arm around my shoulders to tug me in, I let myself hug his waist as I leant further into his side, grinning stupidly when he said, “Missed you too, Squeaks.”

…

Matty followed me home after our impromptu coffee date and we talked some more all the walk there, mostly just content to be in one another's company again. And when it was time to pick Teddy from nursery, he waited at the flat for us both. He had been on the sofa when I’d left, but I noticed that there was a savoury smell filling the air the minute I returned.

I glanced down at my son, who seemed to be none the wiser to it, still chattering on about the new toy his class had been given whilst he tugged off his coat.

“Shoes too, please.”

Teddy hummed at me, smiling away as he hurriedly kicked them off. “We watch tele ‘night?” He asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited for me to pull off my own boots and follow. 

I chuckled and ran a hand through his windswept hair, remembering the conversation we’d had that same morning, “Promised, didn’t I?”

Teddy uhuhed and nodded up at me, before spinning around to probably make a beeline for the living room, as he tended to often do. Though he stopped short when he caught a glimpse of a certain curly headed someone who had taken up perch against the door frame there.

“Matty!” Teddy practically shouted before he ran full pelt towards the man who was swift enough to grab him by the arms and hoist him up.

Matty made a wounded sound when Teddy squeezed him into a tight hug, then chuckled to himself as he rubbed a hand down Teddy’s back, “Alright, monster?” 

And with that a dam of questions flooded the flat as Teddy wanted to know about everything and anything he had missed in the short time they had spent apart.

I knew that alone should’ve worried me. As well as how clingy Teddy suddenly became as the night continued on, but when I saw the way the two of them interacted with one another, Teds always eager to have Matty in his presence and Matty forever looking fond, I couldn’t help but brush the thoughts away. 

We spent the rest of our evening together, Matty had somehow managed to wrangle up a couple servings of a creamy pasta bake- one he appeared to have made, going off of the mountain of plates in my sink. Which had been as endearing as it was startling, leading me to question how he’d done it… His mum, apparently. Who had been surprised by his sudden call and the need to cook, as well as the reasoning behind it.

“She knows about me then?” I wondered, twirling with my fork whilst the three of us ate, the radio playing low.

Matty looked over at me, almost bashfully, and shrugged, “Sort of.”

I couldn’t help my laughter, “Sort of? What’s that meant to mean?”

“She knows I’m seeing someone,” He answered with a gentle smile and a roll of his eyes, “And that, I’m serious about it.” He spoke that next bit slowly, almost a little apprehensive, which only widened my growing grin.

I wiggled my brows teasingly, but stayed quiet as I wanted him to go on.

Matty merely chuckled as he shrugged again, “Yeah. She’s just excited for us, for me- which feels weird. Wants to meet you, too.”

I tried to hide my sudden nervousness, I’d never done the whole meet your boyfriend’s parents thing. “Why’s it feel weird?” I asked instead of lingering on it, ‘cross that bridge when you get to it’ and all that shit.

Matty glanced over to Teddy who appeared to be trying his best to see around the kitchen doorway and into the living room where the tele was still on. He gave a warm smile at the sight.

“Just not something I’ve experienced in a long time, I guess. I love her, I do, but she knows firsthand how deep I was in with everything. Felt like she’d given up on me at one point, to be honest. So, having her, I don’t know, say that she’s excited for me, makes it seem like she’s proud almost.”

I reached over the table to take his hand and squeezed, “She is.”

Matty let the topic go after that, tickling Teddy’s side to get his attention and remind him of his dinner, telling him we’d watch tele in a bit. Which was exactly what we did once we’d washed up and dried off, the three of us bundled up on the settee together whilst Hook played. 

Matty talked my ear off about Spielberg as the opening titles ran, and then about how if he could have ever been in a film as a kid he’d have wanted to act alongside Robin Williams. Teddy listened, enraptured by his every word, and all the more excited to watch what Matty had deemed a classic.

I made popcorn halfway through when Teddy had needed the loo, Matty running in just after him and shouting out not to press play again until he was there.

By the end of it, Teddy was falling asleep on Matty’s shoulder whilst the man stared at the tv screen, watching quietly as Peter called out for Tink under the statue.

I was happy enough to just watch them though, smiling softly at the picture they painted, Teddy’s little hand holding onto Matty’s and Matty’s arm wrapped around Teds.

When the final credits rolled, Matty sniffed and peered down to find a dozing Teddy, the boy’s mouth open as he breathed out soft puffs of air.

“Here,” I went to say, sitting up to take him, but Matty was already moving, albeit carefully so as to not wake him, shaking his head at me.

“I’ve got him.”

My breath hitched at those three words, insignificant to anyone else, but everything to me.

Matty gave a soundless chuckle once he’d positioned Teddy in his arms, pressing a kiss to his curls before putting him to bed. I followed after them once I’d turned off the tele, shuffling quietly over the wooden floors, I paused though just before I got to Teddy’s door, surprised to hear voices coming from inside.

“You liked it then?”

I heard Teddy give a quiet hum in return, as well as the slight ruffle of bedsheets. “Was nice.”

“Just nice?” Matty chuckled lowly and I could picture him tucking Teddy in before taking a seat on the mattress beside him. 

“I liked that he came home.” Teddy murmured and then it was Matty’s turn to hum.

“Me too, he got to see all of his family again.”

There was a quiet lull, before, “‘Cause they love him?”

I could hear the smile in Matty’s next words, “They do. Very much, I reckon. As much as your mum loves you.”

“I love her.”

A teary smile broke out on my face at that and my eyes stung with it, forever warmed by how sweet Teddy could be.

Then, “You love me, Matty?”

My next breath lodged itself in the back of my throat at Teddy’s simple question whilst Matty fell utterly silent.

It felt as though all the air had not just been sucked out the room, but the entire flat as I stood there by the door just listening.

But then there was the faintest sound and I knew that Matty had pressed a kiss to Teddy’s head, “‘Course I do. I love you a whole lot, monster.”

Teddy must have been fighting to stay awake then but eventually I heard him speak again, his voice muffled with sleep, “Love you too, Matty.”

I don’t know how long until I heard movement again, only that my heart pounded hard in my chest whilst the blood in my ears roared. I had known for a long time now how fond Matty was of Teddy, it was all too easy to recognise, but to hear him say that he loved him. That he loved my little boy. Was something I hadn’t really ever expected.

But that was just who Matty was, I thought, he loved. Wholeheartedly. And I supposed it had only been a matter of time before he let Teddy know.

I visibly startled when Matty appeared in the doorway, pulling the door quietly shut behind him. He blinked when he caught me there too, but I didn’t give him much time to question me, only sprang forward when the latch clicked to kiss him.

Matty returned it easily enough, fingers moving to thread through my hair, keeping up with my hasty pace before he managed to slow us down, kissing me deeper and deeper before pulling away with a soft and deliberate peck.

His breath came out in pants, fanning over my lips as he kept us close, pressing his forehead to mine. “What was that for?”

“Because I love you.”

I couldn’t believe I’d been the one to say it first, but how could I not? After all that I’d heard. And in truth, it had just come out.

“What?” He whispered, eyes unblinking as he waited for me to take the words back. I half expected him to pull away, to laugh it off, or just kiss me once more, but that was his only question.

I took his chin between my fingertips, gaze flickering down to his lips then back up into the heady brown that was so focused on me. “I love you.” I murmured again, heart beating loud enough that I feared he could hear it.

But Matty only pushed forward, nose catching on my own as he shook his head ever so softly. “You mean it.”

It wasn’t a question.

“I mean it.”

Then Matty was grinning, bright and unashamed, catching my breath all over again before he pushed forward to press his mouth against mine.

“I fucking love you.” He said, giddy as his hands cradled my face, chuckling away in disbelief. “God, do I.”

Then I was chuckling too, thumb brushing over his bottom lip as I stared up into his squinted eyes. “Stay?”

And Matty nodded, as though it was that easy, hands falling to my thighs. “Jump.” He told me, and so I did, letting him kiss me again in the dimly lit hallway that he’d just told me he loved me in.

He loved me.

[mixelation]

reborn au: end of the chunin exams (some notes + 3k writing)

tonight i've been trying to choreograph the end of the chunin exams. to review, tori and kushina attempt to sneak off to retrieve morino ibiki from captivity during the tournament, but kushina is captured by iwa. tori manages to run off, and they mostly let her because she's a dumb genin child.

things that happen that i didn't write:

tori also has chakra poisoning, and he manages to mitigate the effects by reactivating her anti-genjutus seal, bc it basically scrambles her chakra. this means she's limited in what jutsu she can do.

deidara and itachi are fighting each other in the tournament, so tori has a while to sit in the stands and Plan

tori realizes that even if they rescue kushina and get away, iwa will blame them for any violence and this could turn into war. her solution is to track down kisame and mangetsu and have a hysterical break down about iwa kidnapping her sensei. she doesn't ask for help but she DOES ask they tell the mizukage what happened

she also convinces mangetsu to give her a scroll, which she makes a seal in

when she gets a hold of itachi and deidara, they have an argument about priorities. tori only cares about saving kushina, but itachi wants to complete their mission, and deidara points out they're loose ends iwa will be hunting down as soon as they get an opening

they end up splitting up: tori goes to get morino, itachi goes to find kushina, and deidara goes to distract iwa by showing up to the tsuchikage's booth (where he's entertaining foreign guests) and screaming at him. tori tells him to make sure he lets the foreign guests hear about iwa kidnapped his sensei, and then also don't blow them up???

deidara briefly fights oonoki and them flees to find tori. tori can't transport morino via jutsu without kushina, so they load him on a bird and fly out of iwa in search of itachi and kushina

itachi uses the power of genjutsu and murder to basically walk out of iwa with kushina. but because deidara made a huge scene, iwa knows there's an escape attempt and they send the demolition corps after them

and then this is what i wrote:

Tori peered over the side of the bird. The wind battered her hair, strands partially obscuring her vision. Kushina seemed so, so far away, a little smear of violent red curled up at Itachi’s side. 

“Shit,” Deidara swore next to her. “Do you know if Itachi still has his mangekyou?”

Tori had no idea. She didn’t remember him mentioning it at all. She didn’t see him getting out of this alive without it. 

Tori had her seal in Mangetsu's scroll all ready to go too, just in case. Its weight on her belt suddenly felt like lead. She had the solution, but she was up here, when she needed to be down there. Her eyes stayed focused on Kushina, like if she stared hard enough, the solution for instantaneously getting her seal down to them would magically appear. 

Are you a kunoichi or not? she heard Kushina ask. 

Oh, right. 

“As soon as I've activated the seal,” Tori told Deidara, getting to her feet. “Go nuts. But don’t jostle Morino too much.”

“What seal?” Deidara asked, but Tori was already diving off the bird. 

Tori had always been a little bit nervous, right before jumping off a diving board. But once her feet were off the board, she’d always felt the nerves vanish as she gave herself up to free fall. 

This experience was not like that at all, possibly because the fall was long enough that Tori had enough time to realize she was about to seriously hurt herself. What was she supposed to do for extreme falls? Relax her limbs and push out a bunch of chakra and pray? Who on earth could relax in a situation like this? 

Also, she didn’t even have access to her chakra.

“ITACHI!” she shrieked as the ground rushed to meet her. She pulled the scroll off her belt.  “CATCH ME!”

Itachi turned, and Tori caught a split second of his horrified face before she slammed into him. The scroll went flying as they rolled together, catching itself in the surrounding thorny shrubs. There were shouts of alarm from the Iwa-nin around them, and then a flash of red as Kushina made a belated movement towards them. 

The seal activated, and the shrubs unfolded around them. Tori heard a yelp of surprise from Kushina as the shrubs curled away from them, spindly branches raising up and flooding the air with chakra. A pink doom formed around them, just in time to absorb the first explosion.  

Itachi rolled off of her, sending her a disparaging look. More explosions harmlessly bounced off the barrier. 

“You dislocated my shoulder,” Itachi accused. 

Tori sat up with a lot of effort. She had definitely fractured a few things herself. 

“I know how to fix that one,” she told him.

“Tori,” Kushina said, eyes wide as she stared up at the dome. “What the fuck.”

But the barrier was solid, enclosing them in relative calm as the explosions outside suddenly ramped up. Deidara had joined the fight. 

Itachi shot Tori several withering looks as she set his shoulder, but besides a single grunt of pain, he kept his mouth shut. Kushina got very uncertainly to her feet and wrapped her knuckles against the barrier. 

“Why’s it pink?” she asked. 

“Because…” Tori answered, “someone… told me I couldn’t make it pink…?”

Kushina let out a single, loud laugh. 

Deidara’s assistance did not last as long or as thoroughly as Tori had hoped. He was unable to approach as closely as she knew he would if he weren’t also babysitting an injured man, and he wasn’t bothering with his more intricate sculptures that could aim better. His bird hovered above them, out of range of explosions from the ground, but he eventually stopped dropping his own bombs. 

“He’s low on chakra,” Itachi said, squinting up at the sky with his sharingan. “He’s likely choosing to maintain the bird over offensive moves.”

Deidara was a monster, but he was only eleven. Also, he might have fought the Tsuchikage earlier? Tori wasn’t sure how that had gone down. 

Kushina finally got shakily to her feet. “Does he still have enough to fly us out of here if we make an opening?”

“Yes,” Itachi said after a moment. “But, I don’t have enough chakra unless we–”

“Don’t worry, you did enough,” Kushina said, flashing her teeth. “I can take it from here.”

“But your chakra–”

“I’m over it,” Kushina assured them, cracking her knuckles. “Tori, take down the barrier and both of you get ready to run.”

“You don’t just get over chakra poisoning,” Itachi objected, but he did nothing to stop Tori from reaching for her scroll. Instead, he drew his sword with his uninjured arm. 

He didn’t end up using his sword at all. The moment the barrier flickered away, the ground exploded into gold chains, reaching up and whipping around them like the bamboo forest she’d grown up in. Itachi’s eyes widened slightly in shock, and Tori had to grab for his shoulder to keep from falling over. 

The disappearance of the barrier caused the number of explosions being hurled at them to ramp up, but the chains easily deflected them, even managing to throw some wads of clay back at the demolition corps. 

Kushina stood in the middle of it, red hair billowing around her, hands clasped in front of her to focus her chakra, which was fine, apparently, against all medical knowledge Tori had. 

“Due east,” she yelled at them. “On my mark.”

More chains fanned out, zipping through the hard earth like it was Deidara’s most moldable clay. Tori heard the scream of an Iwa-nin being grabbed, followed by another and then another. The screams cut off as soon as they started, bodies crushed by Kushina’s chains. The shrubs around them rustled as chains snaked through them, searching for victims, and as Iwa-nin started to flee. 

“NOW!” Kushina yelled. 

Itachi grabbed Tori's arm and ran. 

“Why are you so slow?” he snarled in her ear as they went. 

Tori had shut off her chakra. She wouldn’t be modifying her run with chakra at all. 

They didn’t need to be particularly fast, though. Kushina followed behind them, covering their retreat effectively. The movement in the shrubs stopped eventually. If any of the demolition corps remained, they’d gone still and silent. 

Deidara flew his bird above them, then eventually took it down low enough for them to hop on. A few minutes later, they were high in the air again, panting and staring at each other. 

She could not believe they’d lived through that, and gotten Morino and Kushina back. 

Then again, if anyone was going to do it, it would be them. 

“Kushina-sensei,” Deidara said after a few minutes. “You’re kind of badass, yeah.”

Kushina laughed. 

Deidara pushed himself to get them across the Earth Country border before he landed the bird. The bird dropped Morino less than gently, and Tori yelled at Deidara and hopped over the side of the bird to tend to her “patient.”

With the adrenaline faded, Tori was becoming more and more aware she was hurt. Her landing jostled her injuries and she let out an embarrassing squawking now. 

Morino blinked up at her, eyes glassy as he lay prostrate in the grass. Tori kneeled next to him to make sure his pulse was still normal. That god it was, because if it hadn’t been, she didn’t really know what she could do about that, besides maybe slap a stasis seal on him and pray. 

“Is Konoha recruiting insane children now?” he asked roughly. So, at least he was still alive. Tori smiled weakly back at him. 

Deidara’s bird poofed out of existence, and Deidara himself laid down in the grass as well. 

“We need to keep moving,” Itachi said, although he was also clearly exhausted. “Iwa will not want any of this to get out. They’ll have no issue crossing a border to pursue us.”

“Shut up, Itachi,” Deidara said. “Kushina-sensei, tell him we need to rest, and he looks like he could collapse at any moment.”

“Kushina-sensei,” Itachi said, turning to her. “Tell him– Kushina-sensei?”

Kushina was still standing, although she was staring unfocused off into the distance. 

“What?” she said, noticing her genin looking at her. 

“Are you alright?” Tori asked cautiously. 

“I’m fine,” Kushina said, then swayed in place a bit. Her expression faltered. “I, um. I’m maybe more tired than I expected.”

“This is why we need to move,” Itachi insisted. 

“He’s right,” Kushina said. She buried one hand in her hair, pushing it away from her face as her brows furrowed in thought. “What if… we cheated?”

“Cheated?” Itachi repeated. 

“We’re out of Earth Country, so I think it’ll be okay,” Kushina said, more to herself than to any of them. “He’s probably noticed we moved suddenly already, anyway.”

“What–” Itachi started to demand, as Kushina closed her eyes and made a hand sign. “Sensei, this is highly unprofessional–”

Itachi choked on his words when the Hokage appeared. Itachi also drew his sword again, in an act of panic which Tori thought was just a little bit funny. 

(Deidara, meanwhile, had sat straight up again.)

Minato appeared very tense, one of his three-prong kunai drawn, but he relaxed when Kushina threw her arms around him. 

“Darling!” she cried. “Darling, we’re fine, but everything went to shit.”

Itachi twitched a few times as Kushina leaned back from her embrace and started explaining everything to Minato. 

Ah, his inner control freak upset, Tori recognized of Itachi, and then haggardly got to her own feet to limp over to him. 

Probably as a result of jumping off a bird, her side was killing her. Breathing was only a little painful, but walking hurt. 

“Hey,” she said, poking Itachi’s side. “Why don’t you go see if Morino is stable for transport?”

Itachi scowled at her. Tori was more qualified to make that assessment on every front, and he knew it. But also she was giving him a mission-relevant thing he could do. 

“You have a really scary face,” Tori informed Itachi when he didn’t immediately answer her. 

“Oi, don’t baby him,” Deidara groused, having gotten to his feet as well. 

“I’ll be back in a flash,” Minato said, kneeling over Morino and setting a hand on his shoulder. “Welcome back, Morino-san.”

“Wait, Kushina-sensei,” Deidara said when Minato and Morino were gone. “Are you telling me you could have summoned him this whole time?”

(“Does he… have a catchphrase?” Tori wondered and was ignored.)

“Well,” Kushina said, blinking at Deidara. “I mean, yes? But Minato entering Earth Country would be an act of war–”

“WHO CARES?” Deidara yelled back at her. “Kidnapping you was already an act of war, yeah! Why the fuck didn’t you just summon him earlier?”

Kushina’s expression hardened. “Deidara, the last thing I want is for a war to reignite on my behalf. I know it’s hard for a kid to understand, but--”

“I understand that you think your ideals are more important than your team,” Deidara hissed, and Kushina looked taken aback. 

Oh, ouch, Tori thought. What a way to get directly under the skin of a Konoha-nin. She needed to de-escalate this as quickly as possible.

“Deidara, we’re all stressed,” Tori defended. “Kushina-sensei made the best call she could, and she knew we could handle--”

“Uh, no,” Deidara disagreed immediately. Then he grabbed Tori’s wrist and pulled her closer to himself. Tori winced as it jostled her movement. Turning back to Kushina, he said, “Tori’s your subordinate and a genin, and you left her to organize your rescue and the rest of your mission, when you literally didn’t need to.”

Tori was so shocked at Deidara suddenly defending her that she was momentarily at a loss for words. She didn’t say, But I could handle it, and you know it. She didn’t say, But if the Hokage had gotten involved, the situation would have become so fucked he’d probably have to pick one person to save and leave the rest. 

She didn’t get why he was upset about this one thing in particular, when he’d seen her run screaming through equally tricky situations before and come out fine. But… oh, he’d seen her cry, hadn’t he? 

Did he really care that much?

“My intention was never to put that much responsibility on Tori,” Kushina responded, just as Minato reappeared. “Tori, I apologize we never discussed this more clearly, but Itachi is an ANBU captain. The chain of command falls to him next.”

Minato’s head swiveled to look at them, clearly trying to piece together why the air had gotten so tense in his absence. Deidara gripped Tori’s wrist tighter. She was… very tired. 

“I think Itachi did technically take command,” Tori said eventually. She pulled her wrist free of Deidara. “And I appreciate you defending me, but I can make my own decisions about what I do.”

“I didn’t take command so much as Tori put a plan into motion and then told me about it,” Itachi deadpanned. Kushina, who had not yet heard their side of the story, looked startled at this revelation. “Speaking of which, Hokage-sama, there’s a few key things you should know before you do anything else.”

And that was that Tori’s first move had been to make sure as much of the international community knew what Iwa had done as quickly as possible. 

Both Minato and Kushina looked mildly horrified, which was not the reaction Tori would have predicted. She thought this had been a pretty good move, given the next thing they’d done was “fuck up as many people as possible.” Now whatever happened next, Iwa couldn’t claim innocence. 

“I don't think she realized how outside of her purview it was to make such high-impact claims to foreign powers,” Itachi said in his perfect monotone. “I apologize for failing to intervene earlier.”

You agreed with me! Tori thought, and Deidara bristled. 

“I’ll willingly take any punishment meant for this inappropriate behavior,” Itachi finished. 

Oh! Tori thought. He was on her side. Okay. 

Minato pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“We will talk about Tori’s fast and loose decisions about Konoha foreign policy later,” Minato said. “For now, I think I have to have a chat with whoever is approaching.”

The Iwa-nin, when they came into view, numbered about ten of whom Tori assumed were Iwa’s best and brightest, minus their Demolitions Corps, which may or may not exist any more. They froze on the horizon when, presumably, one of them recognized Minato. 

“Hi there!” Minato called, waving at the group. “Does your leader want to come over and talk to me?” 

No one moved. 

“Or do you want me to come over there?” Minato offered, projecting his voice across the field, and Kushina had to hold up her hand to hide a grin. 

Someone eventually paced over to them. It was a kunoichi with a somber expression and dark hair tied back in a tight bun. 

“That’s Kurotsuchi’s cousin,” Deidara whispered in Tori’s ear. 

“What are you doing outside of Fire Country, Hokage-sama?” the kunoichi asked stiffly. 

“We have a free passage agreement with Grass,” Minato said, friendly smile not slipping an inch. “And I’m helping my wife and her exhausted genin pass through. What are you doing here? Did you finally negotiate your own free passage agreement, or are you perhaps on a mission sanctioned by Grass?”

The kunoichi didn’t say anything, her lips thinning. Tori was pretty sure the free passage agreement was more complicated than Minato was making it sound, but it was more of a leg to stand on than Iwa had if this conflict moved to a more international stage. 

“I have to say,” Minato continued, “my team didn’t think very highly of your village's hospitality.”

The kunoichi resolutely lifted her chin and looked Minato in the eyes. 

“No matter what you do to us here,” she said, “the world will know you attacked us first.”

Minato raised his eyebrows. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I think the world already knows you attempted to kidnap my wife. My shinobi assured me they were very loud about it.” He produced a kunai from his sleeve and casually twirled it around his finger. The tag on it shone extra white in the sunlight. “I think Mizukage-sama would side with me pretty quickly if I lost my mind in a love-fueled rage, don’t you think? She’s supposed to be a bit of a romantic.”

The kunoichi had tensed, her gaze focused on the kunai. Minato twirled it one more time and then it disappeared back up his sleeve. 

“But, fortunately for you, my wife is fine and standing here, with me. Tell Oonoki I’ll be awaiting his apology and explanation, and nothing else.” Minato’s grin widened, showing teeth. “Now, run along, won’t you?”

The kunoichi retreated as quickly as she could and still keep her pride. The five of them watched as she rejoined their group, which then retreated. 

Finally, Minato sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze slid over to Tori. 

“Is Terumi Mei going to agree with me?” he asked, sounding tired. 

“Oh, definitely,” Tori replied. “I was pretty hysterical. Hoshigaki Kisame and his student definitely bought it, and Hoshigaki is supposed to be super close with the Mizukage, right?”

Minato’s expression turned vaguely long-suffering. 

“Do not take this as permission to do this again,” Minato said. “But that might have been a good call.”

He held out his arms and instructed everyone to take hold. Two seconds later, they were back in Konoha, in the Hokage’s office. Minato collapsed into his chair. 

“I want to give you three a break,” Minato said to the genin. “But instead I’m going to get you into a room and have you write a report for… for whatever you did. Itachi can make calls on what we need to know immediately.” 

“And what about me?” Kushina asked, leaning a hip against his desk. 

“You… get a private debrief,” Minato said. 

Deidara rolled his eyes and grabbed Tori’s arm, dragging her out of the room. Behind them, Kushina moved behind the Hokage’s desk and collapsed right into Minato’s lap. 

Itachi kicked a pair of chunin out of one of the small break rooms that were scattered around Hokage Tower, sending one of them off to get them paper and writing utensils. 

“And dinner,” he finished. “You can write off the expense to the Hokage’s office.”

The chunin ran off, not even questioning Itachi’s orders. Deidara sat, resting his feet on his table, and frowned thoughtfully at Itachi. 

“Every day you turn out to be more of an asshole than I thought, yeah,” he said. 

He didn’t sound upset about it, this time. He also didn’t complain when the chunin returned with a hot meal. 

Tori went automatically for the notebook the chunin also brought them. 

“I can just write the report,” Itachi offered. 

“No,” Tori replied, clicking the pen. “You suck at writing.”

[clip-the-simp]

Not Much Else [Pt.2]

Ao3

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Fem!Reader

Word count: 2,233

Warnings: burning, cannibalism, canon typical violence, swearing, slight angst, unwanted touch (not from The Ghoul), (I’m bad at warning tags so just let me know if I need/should to add some)

Tags: Mild Proofreading, eventual smut (if I can get the balls to write it), reader had bat wings, Bounty Hunting, deviation from TV show, pre!show events(?), (Again I'm bad at tags so let me know)

Summary: You're a vault experiment that makes it to the surface. Quickly you learn the lay of the land and a few years later end up working the same bounty as The Ghoul. You convince him to let you take a long after having a feeling that you just had to follow him. Where will this story lead? Only time (and my motivation) will tell.

A/N: This is part 2 to the cringy ass shit I call a fanfic. Be forewarned that this is going to be incredibly inaccurate to cannon events and really unrealistic honestly. But listen. If Lucy can have her finger zapped back on and working properly anything can happen.

The pair of you had been traveling for two days by the time you caught wind of the target's whereabouts. After stopping at several towns to get supplies and information, you had been pointed east, away from the coast. He was trying to get over the mountains, or what remained of them, in order to get as far out of town as possible.

Once knowing this, The Ghoul and yourself continued on. Not much had been said in the two days of traveling together. You didn’t take The Ghoul for much of a talker so you kept your thoughts to yourself in hopes of not disturbing his peace. Most of your time was spent pondering over that feeling that continued to linger.

The familiarity from before continued to pluck at your thoughts the more you took in The Ghoul’s demeanor. Surely he couldn’t be someone from your past. There was no way someone could live over a hundred years, but maybe there was. With some of the other people and creatures you had encountered, maybe there was a possibility. This world was odd like that, and you had heard that The Ghoul was a lot older than most. So just maybe he was someone you truly recognize, however the wasteland changes people. Let alone someone who had been doing this for over a century.

So one night after you had settled at the ruins of a worn gas station and started to fix a meal, you decided to pry. It was a difficult situation. You couldn't be too blunt or he would quickly shut you down. However you couldn't tiptoe too much or he would get agitated and again shut you down.

Having managed to haggle some ingredients off someone at the market in the last town you were in, it could make for a good bargaining point with The Ghoul. Perhaps if you gave him a good meal he would loosen up a bet to talk. You had been contemplating the proper way to ask your questions the whole time you sat over the pot of stew. So when the food was done, you spooned out a bowl full of the stew for The Ghoul and waited a moment before to ask your questions.

“So, how long have you been wastelanding?” You started, making a bowl for yourself and blowing on it lightly to cool it off. The Ghoul was already a few bites in before dividing to take the chance of prying for information, and when you did he stopped momentarily to stare at you. His shoulders straightened as the bowl in his hands lowered to his lap.

“Why y’asking?” He asked bluntly as his expression stayed stone cold. The blood in your veins felt cooler than before as your gaze left his to reside on the bowl in your hands.

“I-” You didn’t want to lie, but you also didn’t want to scare him off. However, you could feel The Ghoul’s gaze burning into you as you searched for an answer. Against your better judgment, you decided to be upfront.

“I just have this feeling that I know you is all. Maybe that’s why I wanted to follow you in the first place.” Your eyes rose to meet The Ghoul’s once again only to find his expression to no longer be cold but instead a bit sorrowful. However that moment was brief as he asked you another question.

“What makes y’think that?” His voice was not as harsh as it usually was. It was as if he was trying to remember, just as you were, who you could’ve been to him in a past life. That sudden change in him sent a pinged of pain through your heart. You couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for making him recall the old life he once had.

“Your demeanor just reminds me of a man I once knew.” You said. Setting your bowl to the side, you remove the goggles from your eyes only now realizing they still lingered on your face even after the sun had fallen. Your gaze lingered on them for a while before you began to speak again.

“He was popular in western films back in the day and I had the pleasure of Co-starring in a few films with him. He was a good man which wasn’t too surprising.” You chuckled to yourself as you remember the time you had tripped over the bottom of the costume dress you were wearing on set. Cooper Howard had caught you mid fall and the two of you joked about it a bet after.

“It’s funny now that I think about it. If I placed you two side by side there wouldn't actually be much that y’all have in common. Maybe the cowboy physique but that's about it.” When you looked back up, The Ghoul’s gaze was trained on you. It was full of mixed emotions that were balancing sadness and anger. Guilt settled itself low in your chest as you realized perhaps you had gone too far. Picking your bowl up, you quickly raised it to your lips and started to drink some of it. Hoping to relieve some of the tension in the air.

“I’ve been doing this shit for over 100 years. The waste land changes people.” The Ghoul finally answered your question. His voice was still angry but the somber undertone didn't go unnoticed. As the two of you continued to sit in silence, the man sitting across from you, past the fire, spoke.

“I’ll take first watch.” The Ghoul grumbled as he finished his soup and went to spoon the last of the stew into his bowl. A worry he was going to leave in your sleep crossed your mind and as you began to voice your concern he spoke before you.

“I’m not gonna leave y’stranded. We have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow. So sleep.” The Ghoul growled the last bet which caught you off guard but definitely got the point across. You leaned against a rusted gas pump while pulling your wings over your arms and partially over your legs. It never took you long to fall asleep, but the guilt from hurting your traveling companion lingered. You wanted to make it right but reasoned you could mend things while traveling again tomorrow.

An abrupt crash caused you to wake up with a start, but before you could get your bearings, there was a heavy weight on you that hadn't been there before. It had you pinned to the ground as your senses came back to you and you realized it was a raider. The fire was still blazing which allowed you to see the man on top of you clearly. He was barking orders to his group which you weren’t coherent enough to make out.

“Get off me!” You shouted as you squirmed to fight against the man’s hold on you, the ground digging into your back. Your pulse pounding in your ears as panic washed over you. How had they gotten the jump on us? Your eyes frantically looked for The Ghoul only to see him lying face down in the sand. It was far too dark and you were in far too much of a panic to focus on if he was breathing or not.

“Aren’t you a pretty sight?” The raider leader said as he leaned down and ran his tongue up the side of your neck to your ear. At that moment instinct kicked in as you turned your head and bit down into the raider’s cheek when he was pulling away. Your teeth, having been abnormally sharp canines, beat through the flesh with ease and left a large hole in his face. The chunk of meat was left in your mouth as he jerked back in pain and held his face.

Taking that opportunity you got out from under the man but quickly yanked him up as you went to promptly throw him in the fire. His screams as he hit the flames alerted his group who quickly pulled out their weapons to attack. The fire was being smothered by the man writhing in it which put your opponents at a disadvantage. You spat out the flesh that remained in your mouth and beard your teeth, now stained with blood. Most of the raiders carried knives and close ranged weapons which only put them at an even greater disadvantage, as long as you stayed out of range.

You pulled out the pistol holstered at your thigh as you aimed and fired the first round. The bullet landed square in the chest of the raider closest to where The Ghoul laid motionless. As the body fell the other two charged in your direction which you quickly ducked away from and led them out from under the gas station canopy. They quickly followed suit as they chased after you. Not wanting to take a chance of them ripping your wings you stayed nimble on your feet.

Firing off another two rounds, one landed in the thigh of the farthest while the second lodged in the shoulder of the other. They continued to come after you which led to the last fatal two shots fired, but not before the one closest to you managed to swipe his blade across your forearm and leave a trail of blood running down your arm.

You quickly applied pressure to the wound as the bodies fell and you ran over to The Ghoul’s side. The man in the fire was no longer a threat and was burned bloody. Examining The Ghoul you realized he was still alive, but saw a bruise beginning to form on the back of his head. The raiders must’ve been hiding out and waiting.

What had The Ghoul so distracted he didn’t see them? You thought to yourself as you sat up. Rummaging through your bag you looked for your med kit to wrap your arm. It was going to be hard to bandage the arm with only one hand to work with but you would make do.

The Ghoul had been out for the rest of the night which worried you as you kept watch for him to recover. However, when morning arrived he came too and in a bet of a panic at that. His weapon was immediately in his hand as he waved it around looking for the raiders. You had already taken care of the bodies and harvested whatever meat you could manage off of them along with any supplies they could’ve had.

“What happened?” The Ghoul demanded as he leaned back on the wall behind him. You had flipped him over while he was sleeping so he wouldn't be lying face down in the dirt all night. His demeanor and frantic actions had startled you a bet so had your hands raised in defense.

“Raiders must’ve been camping out and ambushed us in the middle of the night. I took care of them.” You lowered your hands as he returned his gun to its holster and rubbed the back of his head. Slowly, you brought forward a makeshift bag filled with the remains of the raiders. You took it upon yourself to dry out the meat last night as you kept watch, not wanting to fall back asleep by accident. The Ghoul raised an eyebrow as his gaze moved from the bag, to you, then to your bandaged forearm.

“I figured if you don’t want it, someone in the next town will.” You explained as realization slipped into The Ghoul’s expression. Tossing it over to him, he looked in the bag to find what he was expecting.

“Well look at that. Looks like y’have more uses than y’let on.” His voice was teasing as he wrapped the meat backup and found a place for him to carry it. The Ghoul stood as he checked his belongings. Soon after, stretching to relieve the ache in his body from being shuffled around while unconscious.

“I got a lot of talents if you’re looking to test my limits.” You chuckled lightly as you stood up from your spot near the burnt out fire. Gathering your belongings, you quickly stretched your wings before tucking them back under your jacket. Your eye’s met with The Ghoul’s which caused you to startle as you saw the expression it held. It wasn’t something you had seen on him before, but it looked almost hungry as he smirked at you.

He began to walk closer to you leading to you stepping back into the gas pump you had been sleeping on. Your eyes rose to hold The Ghoul’s stair as he leaned forward to your ear. Worry settled into your veins as you wondered if he could hear the pounding in your heart against your rib cage.

“Maybe I should, darlin.” He whispered before turning away and beginning to trek into the wasteland. A deep red plagued your face as you tried to get your bearings. Why did he do that? Was he trying to rile you up? No he couldn’t have been. Could he?

“Come on now! Don’t make me wait on y’.” You heard The Ghoul shout over his shoulder as you realized he was already far ahead of you. Quickly gathering your composure, and throwing your goggles over your eyes, you ran after him to catch up.

[billys-pretty-babe]

Cramped

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Summary : Sex in the back of the Camaro

Warnings : swearing, smut [fingering (fem! receiving), handjob, unprotected piv, praise, breeding kink, crying], aftercare

Word count: 3,092

A/N : smut for the birthday boy 💙

The crickets were singing outside of the car, the wind blowing the water of the lake, the bushes swaying with the trees that were covering the car. Billy held you close, cuddling in the back of his Camaro as you played with his hair, his head on your chest. His legs were cramped, having one knee on the leather seat, the other on the thinly padded floor.

He hummed softly, digging his head against your breast a little. Your nails scratched his roots as he groaned a little, moving against you a little. He had you pinned to the leather seat as you felt the little cracks in it from the sun. "I love you," he said, kissing the top of your breast through the fabric of your shirt.

You hummed, "I love you too." He smiled, his mouth still at the top of your breast. His eyes flicked up to yours, smiling a little. His eyes were heavy with lust as he brought his left hand up to your stomach, pulling up the shirt right under your breasts.

"Can I," he asked, waiting for your permission. You nodded, "Yeah, B." He smiled, moving out of your hold as he leaned forward and kissed you, holding your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. "Fuckin' love you," he murmured against your lips before placing another peck to your lips. His hand moved the shirt up so your breasts were on display.

He pulled away from you to bring your shirt over your head, putting it on the floorboard. He trailed sloppy, wet kisses down your neck, sucking bruises on and around your breasts, his eyes continuously flicking up to yours. "Love these tits, baby," he said before placing a kiss to your nipple.

You moaned, hands immediately gravitating to his hair, yanking the ends. "Shit B, that feels good." He smirked, letting his teeth graze the raised peak. He watched the goosebumps arise onto your skin. "Cold baby," he asked teasingly. You whined, digging your heel into the fat on his waist.

He chuckled, kissing down your stomach and kissing the button on your jeans. His fingers came up, messing with the zipper, zipping it up and down a few times. "Can I take these off, baby?" You nodded and he unbuttoned the silver button, grabbing the waistband as he shimmied them off of you, the pants turning inside out.

He let out a low whistle at the sight of your lacey underwear before he placed a kiss to where he knew your clit was. Billy knew your body like it was the back of his hand, you could blindfold him and you could guarantee he'd be able to get an orgasm or two out of you.

He sat up on the seat, his knees needing a break. He moved you around, your feet knocking against the door as he moved you so your back was against his legs. His hand trailed down to the front of your underwear as he kissed the back and then the top of your head. "Can I touch her? I'll be gentle, I swear."

Your hips thrusted up to his hand and he smirked, "Words, pretty girl, you know that." You cleared your throat, "Please touch me, please I need you." Your voice was laced with desperation, you didn't need him, you had your fill of him once that day already, but something deep inside of you needed him to satiate it.

"I got you baby, don't need to beg. You know that." You nodded, watching his hand go into your underwear. The pad of his index finger quickly found your clit and began rubbing little circle on it. You squirmed a little, if you were in the bed he would have pinned your hips down, but he was helpless in this situation.

"Easy, I know you're sensitive but don't rush it, just feel," he softly said to you. Billy was rough around the edges, but he was a gentle guy especially with intimacy, he always wanted you to feel safe and comfortable, especially when the two of you experimented with kinks.

You stopped squirming, relaxing against his warm body. He gently grabbed the roots of your hair, tilting your head back as he leaned down and kissed you, a soft and sweet kiss. His finger stopped circling your clit as he used his middle and ring finger to slowly penetrate you.

You whimpered against his lips and he kissed you again. The palm of his hand rested just above your clit but you knew as soon as he was knuckle deep in you, he would rub his palm against the nerves. "Good girl, pussy's sucking my fingers in." You moved your legs a little to give him more room and he hummed, kissing your neck and sucking the skin, gently nipping a few spots.

"There you go, let me do all of the work, gorgeous." You nodded, reaching behind you and grabbing his thigh, letting your nails dig into the denim. He curled his fingers, letting the tips of his fingers drag up your front wall, hitting your sweet spot each time.

Your breathing picked up, getting heavier and Billy picked up on it. "That's it baby, let go when you're ready." He moved his fingers a little faster, the car filling with the sounds of your wetness and he began rubbing your clit with the palm of his hand.

"Billy," you whimpered, your teeth clenching shut as your body went rigid, your nails really digging into the denim on his legs as you chased your high. "There you go, good girl." He slowed down his movements, his palm still rubbing your clit and once your body went pliant, he pulled his hand out of your underwear. His fingers were wet, you should see the way the pads were pruned along with the strings of your arousal, connecting his fingers together.

He lifted his fingers to his mouth, sucking the wetness from his fingers, humming and groaning a little. You sat up completely, catching your breath. You ran your index finger along the waistband of his own jeans.

He took his shirt off, pushing his hair back when a few pieces got displaced. "Take 'em off, babe." You unsnapped the button, pulling the zipper down quickly. He planted his feet to the floorboard as he lifted a little for you to pull the pants down to his knees as he took care of the rest.

Your fingers automatically went to his underwear, and he laughed. His skin was warm against the back of your fingers, two of your fingers brushing against the happy trail that had started to grow back. The hair wasn't prickly, having grown out over the past few weeks.

"Take what's yours." That was the green light for you, dipping your hand into his underwear, your hand immediately grasping at his base, squeezing a little as he groaned, his large hands grabbing the edge of the seat, digging his fingers into the leather.

"Wait a sec, babe," he said, groaning a little. He removed your hand from his underwear, fixing his underwear, pulling the material to show a hole in the material. "There, just pull it through there, easier access and it won't hurt your hand." You nodded, doing what he instructed.

"Is that what that's for?" He laughed, shaking his head, "I think it's to piss." You hummed, putting your hand under your mouth, spitting a little before working your hand over him again. His head fell back when your thumb rubbed over his slit, swirling the little glob of pre-cum.

His left hand held the small of your back, trying to pull you closer to him despite you being pressed up against him. His chest was heavy with his panting, little moans slipping out of his mouth. "Come 'ere," he said, grabbing your chin with his right hand as he kissed you.

You squeezed his tip a little and he moaned against your lips, the vibration lighting up every nerve in your body. The kiss was nasty, tongue, teeth and a string of saliva connecting the two of you. Billy's hand on your back was squeezing you, his blunt nails digging into your skin.

His stomach twitched and he pulled away from your lips, "Need your hand off, babe." You nodded, taking your hand off of him as his breathing went back to normal. "Would've let you continue, just need you on my dick." You nodded again, kissing him again and he pulled you onto his lap, his hands feeling down the expanse of your back.

His hands moved fast, grabbing anything and everything, he was desperate and in dire need of you. He stopped the kiss, moving you to the seat, adjusting his underwear as he leaned up and over the middle console, grabbing the seat levers on each side and pushing the seats up as far as they would go.

He balled up his shirt, using a discarded hair tie and tying it as best as he could. He put the makeshift pillow in the corner of the backseat, "Lay down." You nodded, laying down, wondering how this would work since the backseat wasn't very spacious.

"No idea how this is gonna work, but I'll make it work." You laughed, nodding. He pushed his underwear down, leaving them on the floorboard, on top of his jeans. He moved your legs so you were spread open, your knees bent as he situated himself between your legs as best as he could.

He planted one foot on the floorboard, putting his right knee on the leather seat as he leaned over you. Your hands immediately went to his shoulders as the ends of his hair tickled your neck. He put your right leg over his shoulder, leaning down a little more so he was completely pressed against you. He managed to snake his hand between the two of you, tapping the head of his dick on your clit.

He moved his tip through your slick, letting it sit right at your entrance. His eyes flicked up to yours, "Ready, pretty?" You nodded, "Ready," you affirmed. He nodded, using his hand to guide himself. Once he was confident he wouldn't accidentally slip out, his hands grabbed at your body, moving your leg from his shoulder down to his waist.

Half of your body was hanging off of the seat as your nails dug into his skin. He let you adjust, knowing you had tightened back up from earlier in the day. You let out a moan and he smiled, "Does that feel good?" You nodded.

Sex with Billy was and never would be bad, sure you had never had sex before him but he was well endowed and definitely knew how to use it, always bullying that sweet spot that would have you seeing stars and crying.

He moved his hips slowly, not wanting to move you too much and your head smack the plastic side panel. The way he moved was passionate, your back was already arching into his body, your hands greedily grasping at him. His breath hits your face as you felt the slight bite of his spearmint gum from a few minutes before the two of you had gotten into the backseat.

Your breath was in his face as well as he smelt the sweet-smelling fruit flavored gum that you had been chewing throughout the day. He cradled your face in his hand, his thumb rubbing your cheek. He snapped his hips, testing the durability of the makeshift pillow.

A breathy moan left you, eyes fluttering shut for a moment before opening them once more. "Did you feel the side panel?" You shook your head and he moved his hips a little faster, not too much to not shake the car.

The two of you knew no one ever came to the woodsy clearing near the lake, everyone preferred the dock which was across the lake from the car. No one would be able to see the car, Billy knew how to hide it from public view, plus it was nearing two in the morning, no one was out.

You clenched around him and he moaned, his own eyes fluttering shut as his head hung low, trying to get himself together. He quickened his hips just a little. With each punch of his hips, little "uh, uh, uh," sounds were leaving your mouth. He knew how to make you tick, knew what spots to hit. His right hand moved down your body, his fingertips slightly cold as they touched your clit, making you jolt.

"Cold," you whimpered, wanting to snap your legs shut but his body was blocking that from happening. "Sorry baby," he said, leaning down and kissing the corner of your lips in apology. He flexed his fingers a little, getting the blood moving through them again before touching your clit again, watching your face as he rubbed circles on the nerves.

"Billy, it feels good," you said, moaning once your sentence was over. It wasn't long before your eyes were shut, nails really digging into him as you clenched like a vice around him. "There you go, that's it. Fuck, baby," he moaned before getting himself together to finish his sentence, "Look so fuckin' pretty when you're moaning my name."

If you hadn't already succumbed to the pleasure, that would have thrown you over the edge headfirst. He watched when your eyes opened, heavy and hazy. He smiled, pecking your lips before picking up his pace slowly.

His own muscles were tightening, his biceps and triceps were starting to bulge as he held his own orgasm back. He continued snapping his hips against yours until he saw a few tears roll down your cheek. "Hey," he softly cooed, using his thumb to wipe a tear away, "Am I hurting you?" You quickly shook your head, "Feels good, a little too good."

He nodded, he was walking the line of overstimulation and pain. "I'm almost done, baby. I promise." You nodded, looking up at him with teary eyes. Your eyes were pretty when you cried, you looked like a crying angel to Billy, and although he hated seeing you cry from pain and sadness, seeing you cry because you felt too good did something to him.

He was twitching inside of you, his abs contracting as his thighs hit the back of yours. "Fuck, baby, I'm almost there. Where can I cum?" Your head was a little foggy from pleasure but it immediately cleared up at the question and you answered with no hesitation, "Inside."

He nodded, "Of course you want it inside. You wanna have my babies huh?" His hand came up to your breast, pinching your nipple, "These are gonna get so fucking big, might have to keep you pregnant." You shivered, eyes rolling back and he cooed. "Another one," he asked, speeding up just a little, wanting to feel you clench around him again.

"Let go for me baby, come on." His breath was nearly knocked out of his lungs when you began to sporadically clench around him. "Good girl, that's good." He was trying to get air into his lungs, his body was going numb, his nerves were practically shutting down but on edge at the same time.

You came down from your high and as he felt smaller clenches, he slammed his hips into you once more, holding his spot, moaning your name. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, baby," his moan was a borderline whine. You felt the warmth inside of you, moaning a little at the temperature difference.

Billy came down from his high, gently lowering himself down onto you, catching his breath. He kissed your stomach, "Who would've thought you of all people would have a breeding kink." You gasped, "Me? I was surprised you started saying all of that stuff." He laughed, "I could tell, fucking soaked my cock, my seats are probably soaked too." You rolled your eyes, pushing his hair back.

He got up, leaning in and kissing you, humming against your lips with each breath. "I love you," he softly said against your lips. You smiled, trying to pull him closer, "I love you too." He smiled, giving you a few more kisses before getting up and groaning. "I'm never fucking back here ever again, I think I aged twenty years." You laughed, poking his side with your toes.

"Silver fox, that's hot." He gently thumped your thigh, "I won't be gray at thirty-nine, you ass." You laughed and he joined you, smiling down at you as he rubbed your thighs, knowing that they were burning from being stretched open for a long time.

"So, either we sleep here or go back to my place." His place was nearly twenty minutes away, having moved out right after he graduated high school. You hummed, "Is the blanket in here?" He nodded, "It's in the trunk." You nodded and he helped you put your clothes back on, leaving the jeans on the floorboard. He got out of the car once he was dressed as he opened the trunk, grabbing the blanket and he shut the trunk, climbing back into the car.

He pushed the locks down on the doors, turning the key in the ignition to roll the windows down a little. He shimmied his jeans off and took his shirt off, laying on the seat as you laid on him. He kissed the top of your head, resting his hand under your shirt, rubbing his fingers into your back, being gentle with the pressure.

"Are you about to fall asleep?" You grinned; your eyes already shut. "You know me so well." He laughed, holding you closer. You kissed his warm chest, humming softly. "I love you." He smiled, "I love you too." He kissed the top of your head again. "Happy birthday," you softly said, nuzzling your head against him.

He smiled, completely forgetting his birthday, "Thank you baby." You smiled, "One year closer to buying your alcohol legally." He laughed before you tacked on another sentence, "Now it's nineteen years until you hit your Silver Fox stage." He rolled his eyes, swatting your ass. "Blah blah blah, that's all I hear. Go to sleep." You snickered, cuddling up as close as you cold to him.

He pulled the blanket over you, his heart was slow and steady, his breaths were deep and slow. He was content and it lulled you to sleep along with the night sounds.

tagging people who may want to read this : @billysbot @floredaqueen @nameless-ken

[anyasathenaeum]

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A/N: I'm basing this off of this drabble I wrote as part of my 100 follower event, I really wanted to write a whole fic about it because Vash deserves to be taken care of and loved and lowkey told off for being reckless. Did I channel myself through this? Hell yeah I did. Enjoy friends!

Warnings: Explicit mentions of wounds, blood, violence

Word Count: 6.6K

"Well, this is definitely not how I expected today to go!"

You found yourself shouting to Vash over the sounds of yelling, blows and glass shattering, the two of you hiding behind the bar in the town saloon as several angry and drunk patrons decided to have an impromptu brawl, cornering the both of you with no way out.

The two of you had drifted into this quaint little town, looking forward to a couple days of peace and rest. You two had gotten a room at the local inn and decided to go for a drink in the saloon, and then next thing you both knew, you were hiding behind the bar during a fight. Several other patrons hid behind the bar alongside the two of you, all of them clearly afraid or trying to figure out a way out, too.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)!" Vash yelled back to you over the sounds of chaos, his expression sheepish, "I didn't think-"

"Don't worry about it!" You cut him off, flinching as glass shattered right above your head. The patrons were getting more and more reckless as they fought, clearly showing no thought to their surroundings.

You felt Vash's arm wrap around you as he tugged you closer to him, likely to shield you as he usually tried to do.

"We gotta get outta here! Before those idiots end up hurting themselves and us!" You exclaimed, glancing up at your best friend of many years as he looked around, clearly trying to figure out the best way to get out of this situation unscathed. Unfortunately, as a healer, escape strategies were not your forte.

"Alright," Vash replied after a couple moments, his expression resolute as he looked down at you with a nod, "On 3, follow me, and whatever you do, do NOT let go of my hand!"

All you could do was nod as you took his prosthetic hand in yours, clutching it tightly as you felt Vash squeeze your hand in return, as though confirming the plan with you one final time as you waited for his countdown.

"One..."

You felt your heartbeat in your ears as you prepared to sprint with Vash as fast as possible to get the two of you to safety.

"Two..."

The cries of the angry patrons were growing louder, all of them undoubtedly approaching the bar in midst of their fight, and you flinched again as another glass struck the bar near your head, a piece of broken glass flying free and striking your cheek.

"Three!"

Without a second of hesitation, Vash bolted forwards and away from the bar with your hand gripped tightly in his, the two of you sprinting as fast as you could to get to safety. You felt Vash tug your arm hard so you followed him, and you watched him flinch as a glass was thrown and suddenly struck the wall where his head had been merely a moment prior.

"Go, (Y/N)! Go!"

Vash quickly pushed you ahead of him, a yelp escaping you he promptly shoved you through an open saloon window. You tumbled to the ground rather ungracefully, groaning as you landed on your back, the wind getting knocked out of you. However, after a couple seconds of recovery, you realized that Vash hadn't followed you.

"Damn it!"

You cursed as you quickly scrambled to your feet, glancing through the window you had just been pushed out of only to see Vash trying to diffuse the situation and protect the other townsfolk.

"Come on, guys! Can't we figure this out in a way that doesn't involve violence?"

You watched Vash promptly dodge a glass bottle that was thrown at his head after that statement, his smile not even faltering for a moment.

"Now, now, that's not very nice!" You heard Vash say almost playfully, a soft chuckle coming out of him, "Come on, guys, you're scaring all the other nice folks. Why don't you guys go outside, talk it out, maybe drink some water?"

Vash's kindhearted suggestions were met with some choice rude words, angry hisses and yells of anger from the drunken patrons, who you could tell were beginning to turn on Vash rather than each other, now. You wanted to yell at him to shut up, to stop being so... so... good, and to get the hell out of there. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest frantically as you realize just how much danger Vash was putting himself in at that moment.

"Vash..." You found yourself whispering nervously under your breath, to nobody in particular, as your gaze remained glued to your best friend.

You suddenly lost sight of Vash from your window as he approached the drunken patrons, and a couple seconds later, you heard a yelp from Vash followed by a loud crashing sound. Then, the sound of several heavy blows and another loud crashing sound, as well as the sound of glass shattering. Your heart all but stopped in your chest as your mind began to go into overdrive, picturing all the things that might've been happening then and there. You were a literal second away from diving back into the saloon from the same window Vash shoved you out of when the saloon door slammed open and all the drunken patrons were promptly thrown out into the street.

As soon as you realized the instigators were no longer a threat, you sprinted back into the saloon, desperately looking around for your best friend and praying you would find him in once piece. Thankfully, to your relief, you saw Vash helping some of the other patrons who had been hiding behind the bar to their feet, smiling comfortingly at them all. Many of them thanked him profusely, some shaking his hand and others even patting his back or hugging him.

Out of nowhere, a bunch of emotions shot through you. Anger. Frustration. Fear. Despair. Relief. Happiness. You didn't know exactly what you were feeling, and you weren't given time to figure it out as Vash's gaze fell on you and his blue eyes widened behind his round, oversized yellow lenses.

"(Y/N)!"

Vash dashed over to where you were standing, and before you could so much as open your mouth, his arms were wrapping around you and he was pulling you into a tight hug, a clear sigh of relief escaping him. Your emotions continued to swirl within your chest as your face pressed against Vash's chest, your own arms coming up to wrap around him in return in a tight embrace - at least he was safe.

"Your cheek..." You heard Vash say gently, both his tone and the expression on his face worried as he looked down at you, his eyebrows furrowed and his hand coming up to gently touch your cheek.

As he touched it, you winced slightly as a stinging sensation suddenly registered - the piece of glass that struck you earlier must've cut you.

"Don't worry about me. It's no big deal, I can patch it up easily," You brushed Vash off, your eyes sweeping over him from head to toe, frantically searching him for any signs of injury from the skirmish, "Are you alright, though?"

"I'm right as rain!" Vash replied, chuckling sheepishly as his hand came up to rub the back of his neck.

You could suddenly feel the bottled up anger beginning to boil inside you as you glared at Vash, hissing under your breath at him, "What the hell were you thinking?! Y-You... you shove me out a window, and then you try to stop the fight yourself?! Vash, are you crazy?! You're so goddamned lucky you're not hurt, or I would've-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Vash immediately held his hands up in surrender, his expression a mixture of sheepishness, guilt, and nervousness, "I didn't mean to shove you that hard. I just... I wanted you to be safe."

The way Vash's voice fell as he spoke those last words, becoming quiet and serious as he looked at you, let you know that he was being genuine in his apology. You couldn't help but feel your heart flutter in your chest at Vash's concern for you, and despite your irritation and worry for the man known at the Humanoid Typhoon, you couldn't bring yourself to stay mad at him. He held your heart entirely in the palms of his hands without even knowing it.

"You're way stronger than any human, Stampede. Be a little gentler next time you're shoving me out a window to safety, alright?" You grumbled instead, shooting Vash a look that immediately told him your words held no heat.

The smile that Vash gave you in response was borderline blinding, and you couldn't help but find yourself smiling, too. It wasn't your fault - Vash's smile was just extremely contagious.

"I really am sorry, (Y/N)," Vash said more quietly, so only you could hear him. He let out a heavy sigh as his fingertips just barely grazed over your injured cheek, and you could practically sense the guilt radiating off of him as he gazed at the cut on your face.

"It's okay, Vash," You replied, your voice soft as you took his hand into yours and moved it away from your face, "This wasn't your fault. Plus, I got lucky. A tiny cut on my cheek is within my healing skills to handle."

The grin you gave Vash at your joke made him chuckle softly, relieving him of some of the guilt he had sitting in his chest. He knew very well that you were a very capable healer, one who had spent many years studying how to help people with various illnesses and injuries and one who had patched him up more times than he could count. Yet, still, Vash couldn't help but worry for you a bit. He always worried for you. How could he not, when you were nothing short of everything to him?

"If you say so, O Wise Healer!" Vash responded, quickly regaining his goofy, outgoing persona and bowing to you in an exaggerated gesture that made you sigh in playful exasperation and nudge him hard.

"Yeah, yeah, enough of that, Stampede. You're embarrassing me in front of the townsfolk," You mumbled half-heartedly, your cheeks heating up as you tried to stifle a laugh, "We should get back to the inn. I need to clean this up."

You tap your cheek and wince at the gentle sting from the cut, and Vash immediately nodded before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, "Right! Let's go."

With that, the two of you set out, making your ways back to the inn where the two of you had been staying during your stay in town. However, as the two of you walked through the town roads, you began to notice, out of the corner of your eye, a tenseness in Vash's body as he walked. You could even make out a wince here or there when he moved his body in a specific way, and that confirmed your suspicion - Vash hadn't come out of the conflict unscathed.

"Where are you hurt?" You asked suddenly, your voice low and firm.

You watched as Vash's eyes widened as he looked at you, and as he opened his mouth to contradict you and brush off your concerns, you immediately cut him off, your anger bursting forward as you snapped, "Don't you dare say you're fine, Vash. I can see you wincing and you trying not to move your body specific ways. You only do that when you're injured."

Vash immediately closed his mouth, his lips pressing into a thin line and his blue eyes betraying the guilt and shame he was feeling at being discovered.

Knowing better than to butt heads with you, Vash simply gave in and whispered quietly, bowing his head and looking like a child having been caught causing mischief, "My right side. One of the patrons had a broken glass bottle, they caught me on the upswing. It doesn't feel too deep, but it'll likely still need stitches."

You felt your anger spike, but rather than yelling at Vash in the middle of some small town with a bunch of strangers watching you, you held your tongue and continued to walk towards the inn without so much as a word of acknowledgement. However, as you replayed the incident over and over again in your mind, the sounds of Vash's yelp and the blows and the screaming of the fight you couldn't witness echoing in your brain, anger gave way to fear. Complete, overwhelming fear.

'Vash could've died today and I wouldn't have known. I would've been too late,' You thought to yourself, your heart squeezing painfully in your chest as you forced the images your mind had conjured out as best you could. 'He could've died protecting others and I would've been unable to save him or help him.'

Like an endless hurricane, your fear drove your anger, which in turn worsened your fear of losing Vash someday because he was too selfless and believed he wasn't worthy of aid. Your mind became a storm, and you were completely lost to it as you and Vash walked back to the inn.

Vash felt himself beginning to sweat nervously as you walked silently by his side, not uttering so much as a single word about his injury. Usually, you would yell at him or scold him immediately, your face gaining colour as you told him off for being reckless and too self-sacrificing and thoughtless, etc. etc. as you worked on patching him up. But now... you hadn't spoken a single word, which absolutely terrified Vash. And scarier still, your face had become a mask of cool indifference, giving no insight as to your true feelings.

"(Y/N)... I'm really sorry," Vash spoke up softly, keeping pace with you as you both approached the inn, his heart sinking in his chest as you didn't even bother acknowledging his apology.

Instead, you continued walking silently until you got to your shared room, and once you were both in the room, you closed the door behind Vash, locked it, and went to your bag to fish out your healing kit.

"(Y/N)?..."

Vash's voice was quiet and filled with concern, although you couldn't tell if the concern was for you or for himself. You looked up at him, and your heart twisted at the sight of Vash looking a lot like a kicked puppy. His big, blue eyes were wide and filled with worry and pleading, as if begging you to say something to him, and despite his height, his shoulders slouched and made him seem... small. Vulnerable. It hurt your heart to see him looking like that, but you couldn't bring yourself to address it due to still-swirling storm of emotions in your mind.

"Move your shirt so I can get to your injury," You said, your voice level and betraying nothing of the emotional torment inside your head, not sparing Vash another glance as you began preparing your equipment to tend to his wound, setting things down on one of the bedside tables with practiced routine and precision.

Vash sighed heavily as he watched you prepare your healing equipment, and he winced as he shifted slowly to take his turtleneck off, wriggling out of it to allow you access to his wound as he sat on a chair, waiting for you to begin your work. He couldn't help but feel extremely guilty for not telling you upfront that he had been injured, and every second that you spent silent was a second that made Vash's heart hurt a little bit more.

You had been Vash's best friend for many years, and you knew and understood him better than anybody else. You understood how he operated, how he thought, how he acted and reacted, and you had accepted him without question, faults and all. You were always there by his side, through thick and thin, to comfort him and support him and yes, even patch him up from time to time. Well, maybe more often than just time to time. Despite it all, though, you never once gave up on him. The two of you had always been a team. But now...

'Maybe this is it,' Vash thought to himself mournfully, his heart aching in his chest, 'Maybe I've finally gone too far and pushed (Y/N) away, too.'

"This first part will hurt."

Your voice snapped Vash out of his self-loathing for a moment, and he gazed down at that neutral mask you kept on your face as you explained to him what you were going to do, your eyes trained on the wound on his torso. To his surprise, you had already mended your own cheek - when did you even do that?

"I'll inject a local anesthetic into your skin around the slash, and then I'll stitch it up properly. You shouldn't feel anything but pressure and slight tugging once the anesthetic kicks in."

Your voice didn't so much as wobble even once, and it scared Vash. He had seen you go into your "healing mode", as he affectionately referred to it, many times in the past, but it had never been directed at him. This cool indifference was terrifying to him, because for the first time in a long time, he had no way to gauge what you were thinking or feeling. You had shut him out completely.

And Vash hated it. He hated every second of it.

"Thank you for taking care of me, (Y/N)." Vash's voice was quiet, so quiet you almost didn't hear him as you began your work, injecting the anesthetic, "I don't deserve you."

However, instead of your usual "Shut up!" or "Don't say that!" or "Enough of that!" responses whenever he said something like that, Vash was met with complete silence. You didn't acknowledge his statement, instead laser-focused on adequately numbing him before starting the tricky act of stitching his wound.

Upon assessment, the slash wound wasn't deep, just as Vash had told you, but it was decently long and definitely required stitches. Once the anesthetic had a couple moments to set in, you poked Vash with a needle near the edge of the wound.

"Feel anything?"

Vash just shook his head, watching you carefully as you nodded in response, your face still a mask of complete neutrality.

"I'm going to start the stitches now. Stay as still as possible."

Vash took a deep breath and stilled himself as best as he could, allowing you to start your work. True to your word, he felt no pain as you patched him up, but rather pressure and tugging as you tied off stitch after stitch. Your work was done slowly, meticulously, but as your hands worked, your mind spiraled out of control.

'The self-sacrificing idiot won't ever stop. Why won't he stop?'

'How many times has he gotten hurt without telling me?'

'How many more times will I patch him up before he dies?'

'Will I lose him soon?'

'Why, Vash? Why?'

'Please, Vash, don't go. Don't go. Stop this, please...'

'Stay with me. Please, Vash. Stay.'

While your mind spiraled, Vash sat on the chair silently as you worked, lost in his own thoughts and emotions. He couldn't shake the deep-seated feeling of guilt for lying to you about him being alright, and although your mask of indifference gave him no indication of your current thoughts and feelings, you hadn't been able to hide a flash of hurt before your mask went up. Just that split second had been enough to make Vash feel like a knife had been driven into his chest. He had never wanted to hurt you. That was never his intention. He loved you far too much to even think of hurting you, and yet, he still had. He knew lying to you hadn't been a good idea, but he did it to buy you peace of mind, even if only for a moment.

But now... with you closed off and feeling so far away from him, Vash regretted it more than ever, the fear of losing you for good spreading like wildfire through him. He should've just told you and been upfront about being hurt. He owed you that much, especially given that you'd always stuck by his side and never once complained about patching him up, even though you always scolded him about getting hurt afterwards.

"(Y/N)?" Vash's voice was small and shaky as he spoke, and he took a deep breath as he tried to keep his emotions from running wild as he tried to reach out to you, to get past your mask once more, "(Y/N), listen, I-... I'm... I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I should've told you that I was hurt immediately, I don't know why I didn't, I guess I just... I thought-"

Vash's words died on his lips the moment he looked down at your face, his eyes widening and his heart shattering at the sight of tears streaking silently down your face as you diligently continued your work. Your mask had disappeared and the fear, the anger and the sadness you felt were all on display for all to see. How long had you been crying for?

"(Y/N)..."

Vash's voice was gentle and filled with concern for you as he turned to look at you, his hands taking your own into his and holding them close to his chest. He could feel your hands shaking as he held them, and he knew that you were unable to continue your work right now, too shaken by everything to keep going. Sure enough, you seemed to realize this yourself as you pulled back from him and put down your tools on the table next to you before promptly dissolving into full-blown sobs, your hands coming up to cover your face.

"(Y/N)!"

Vash immediately shifted and kneeled down so he was level with you, pulling you into his arms without hesitation and holding you close to his bare chest as tears welled in his own eyes. His heart completely broke as you sobbed against him desperately, your cries so filled with pain that it physically hurt Vash to hear them.

Had you been feeling this pain the whole time you were stitching him up? No... there was no way this pain was from just today. You must've been feeling this way for a long, long time and just never told him, likely for the same reason he hadn't told you he was hurt - to spare him the worry.

"Oh, (Y/N)... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!"

Vash found himself beginning to sob with you, the guilt of being the reason for your pain becoming too overwhelming as he held you close. All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms and beg and plead for your forgiveness and apologize to you over and over again until you understood just how sorry he was. He did this to you. Your pain was his fault.

The moment Vash had said your name in that worried and gentle tone, all the walls you had put up to try and do your job came crashing down as you began to sob, your fear and anger and sadness overwhelming you completely. You had felt Vash's arms pulling you into his warm and comforting embrace, and you found yourself clutching onto him with desperate need, your fingers digging into his skin as you tried to calm yourself down by reassuring yourself that he was still there. Vash was still there, still alive, and you were patching him up.

But as soon as you heard Vash's tearful apology, that set you off in another round of broken sobs, burrowing into his embrace and just holding onto him as best as you could, wanting nothing more than to just stay there indefinitely, stay in this moment where both you and Vash were safe and alive together and nobody could hurt either of you.

Eventually, you managed to calm yourself enough to pull yourself back together into one piece and to finish your task of stitching Vash's wound, pulling away from him and wiping your face with your hands. Vash himself was still trembling as you pulled away, his face stained from his tears, his beautiful blue eyes reddened and swollen and still filled with pain.

He looked at you desperately as you pulled away, as if pleading with you not to let go of him just yet, and you sniffled pitifully in response, "I-I have to finish... stitching you up. I-I can't... leave you like this."

That alone made Vash dissolve into tears again - here you were, in the middle of a breakdown because of all the fear and anger and sadness he had caused you, and yet you pulled yourself together so you could continue to take care of him regardless of the pain you felt. Tears began to spill down his cheeks once more as you said that, and he looked down in shame as sobs escaped him.

Despite how much your heart hurt from the fear of potentially losing Vash, seeing him cry before you somehow hurt worse. You found yourself now being the one pulling him into your arms, running your fingers gently through his hair and letting your fingertips drag over his scalp to calm him as he wept into you.

"Shh... shh..." You whispered to Vash gently, your own voice still thick from your tears, "It's alright, Vash. I... I have to move fast, before the anesthetic wears off. Okay?"

As you pulled away, Vash restrained himself from clutching onto you, instead nodding and wiping his face as he sat back on the chair, allowing you to finish up your work despite his whole body trembling.

With a deep, calming breath, you centered yourself and separated yourself as best as you could from every emotion that was coursing through you. You left your emotions behind for as long as possible as you picked your needle and medical thread back up and continued your stitching, throwing a couple more stitches before finishing up. Then, you gently applied a healing balm to the newly-stitched wound and covered it with a dressing, applied with a gentle yet firm touch.

Once you were done, you shakily stood from where you were sat on the ground, brushing your hands off and packing up your healing kit and trying to figure out how you were going to explain yourself to Vash. Yet, when you turned to look at him, you found Vash hunched over as he sat in the chair, his face in his hands as he propped his arms up on his knees, his whole body still shaking. You could hear quiet sniffles and broken sobs escaping him, and it broke your heart all over again. It was clear the last thing he needed right now was an explanation.

Before you could stop yourself, you walked over and kneeled down in front of Vash, pulling him into your arms and hugging him close. Immediately, as if seeking out his lifeline, Vash reached out and clutched onto you, wanting nothing but to keep you in his arms for the rest of eternity.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N), 'm sorry... 'm sorry, (Y/N)," Vash sobbed on repeat, and all you could do was squeeze him tightly and press a kiss to the side of his head as he sobbed against you.

You shushed him gently and continued running your fingers through his hair soothingly like you had done before.

"It's alright, Vash. It's alright. Don't apologize... I should be apologizing to you," You whispered to him gently, your emotions coming under control as you focused on supporting the man in your embrace. "I shut you out, and I'm sorry, Vash. I just... I didn't know what else to do."

Hearing you apologizing to him for doing the only thing you could to cope with your pain made Vash feel like somebody was tearing his heart from his chest and crushing it slowly. He fought to keep him emotions from spiraling completely out of control, instead letting out a soft whimper as he hugged you tighter, shaking his head.

"N-No... It's my fault. I should've told you. I should've told you I was hurt instead of hiding it, and I'm... I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I didn't want to make you cry. I didn't want to hurt you, I-... I never wanted to hurt you. It's all my fault."

Vash's voice was filled with despair and you could feel how genuine each and every word he said was, how desperately he wanted you to understand how sorry he was for what he had done and how much he wanted your forgiveness. How badly he wished he could repent for the damage he had done to you.

"I'm scared, Vash."

Your words began to spill forward as tears slipped down your cheeks once more. You pulled away from Vash, looking up at him with fear obvious in your eyes.

"I'm scared that one of these days, you're going to use yourself as a shield and get hurt badly and you won't tell me. And because of that, you'll die. I'm scared because every time I lose sight of you in a fight, I don't know if it's the last time I'll ever see you alive. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you because you were too good and too self-sacrificing and you wanted to save everybody and you wanted to grant me a moment of peace. Losing you isn't worth a second of peace because if I lose you, I'm going to lose the only thing in this world that matters and makes sense to me, Vash. If I lose you, I'm going to lose the one person who brings me happiness and peace. If I lose you... I'm going to lose my home."

Vash's eyes widened and his heart lurched in his chest as your feelings poured forward, and despite you not explicitly saying those three little words, he could feel them in every single sentiment you expressed. As if those three words were the only thing you were telling him, over and over again.

"I'm scared because every time I lose sight of you in a fight, I don't know if it's the last time I'll ever see you alive."

I love you.

"If I lose you, I'm going to lose the one person who brings me happiness and peace."

I love you.

"If I lose you... I'm going to lose my home."

I love you, Vash.

When Vash didn't answer you, you inhaled shakily and continued, sniffling and wiping your face as you tried to keep calm.

"I know there were innocent people involved, Vash. I know that. And I know you always want to save everybody. But... you count, Vash. When you get hurt, it counts, because despite what you think of yourself, you're innocent, too. And if you keep this up, eventually, you won't be around anymore to protect people. Your body, though extraordinary, can only take so much damage and I can only fix so much. I can't... I can't bear to think of what'll happen if I can't help you, Vash. I don't even want to imagine it."

By the time you finished your rambling, you were fully in tears again, despite your best efforts. Your hands kept wiping your cheeks, but to no avail, and your whole body was shaking as you sobbed softly. Even though you were crying, part of you felt better now that your fears were finally out in the open, no longer hidden or kept secret.

As you sat there, sobbing in front of him as you told Vash how afraid you were of losing him, his heart swelled and cracked in tandem for you. You worried for him. You were scared for him. Your pain came from the care and affection you held for him and him alone. A warm arm and a cool arm both wrapped around you and pulled you back in against a familiar, warm and firm chest, and you felt a gentle kiss being pressed to your forehead before Vash nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. Though his cheeks were still stained, his tears had stopped as he held you close once more, wanting to never let you go ever again.

"I love you, (Y/N)."

There they were. Those words he had never spoken aloud to anybody else in his entire existence. And yet, as he spoke them aloud, Vash knew that his words were never truer than they were in that moment. He loved you. More than anything else in this world, he loved you. You were everything to him, and the pain he felt when you wept in his arms was something he never wanted to feel ever again. He'd been shot, stabbed, burned and injured a million different ways, and he would take any of those a hundred times over seeing you cry because of him.

"I love you, (Y/N). I'm... I'm sorry I hurt you. I just... I didn't want you worrying about me. I figured that... if I didn't tell you, I was sparing you. I was protecting you from the pain you feel when somebody you care for gets hurt. But I didn't realize that in doing that, I was hurting you worse than I would've if I'd just told you. I promise that I'll try to be more careful, (Y/N), because I don't want to lose you, either. I promise I'll try for you."

His flesh-and-blood hand came up to cup the back of your head, gently stroking your hair as he spoke to you, his voice low and gentle as he explained his actions to you in return. You deserved to understand why he did what he did, and that he genuinely hadn't intended to hurt you.

Yet, not a single word he spoke really stuck in your brain as the words he spoke initially echoed loudly in your mind.

I love you, (Y/N).

He loved you. He loved you! Your heart sang in your chest at the revelation, and when you looked up at Vash's face, all sound in the world fell away, the only thing you could hear being the thrumming of your heartbeat in your ears. You took in every detail of his face; his beautiful and expressive blue eyes, swollen from his tears, his blonde hair, the mole under his left eye, the curve of his lips, his tear-stained cheeks, the furrowing of his eyebrows, the edge of his jaw, the slope of his nose, every tiny piece of him that you committed to memory.

"(Y/N)?"

"I love you, Vash."

You whispered it so softly that at first, Vash wasn't sure if he'd heard you right. But as you gazed at him, your eyes glistening, Vash realized he hadn't misheard you, his own eyes widening and his heart thundering in his chest.

Neither of you are sure which one of you leaned in first, or if both of you leaned in in tandem, but soon, soft lips pressed against your own in a gentle, tender and loving kiss, sending shivers down your back and making your heart feel ready to burst. You found your fingers burying themselves into Vash's hair as you pulled him closer to you, wishing to be as close to him as you possibly could be. You felt Vash's arms squeeze you a bit tighter, pressing you against him with a bit more force, making it clear that he, too, wanted you closer to him.

When the two of you broke away, both of your faces flushed and your hearts racing, you couldn't help but smile at Vash, who smiled back just as warmly and as lovingly. His hand came up to cup your cheek gently as he leaned down to kiss you again briefly before pulling away.

"I love you, Mayfly."

There was no hesitation in Vash's voice as he said it.

"I love you, too, Vash," You smiled up at him warmly, blushing at his use of a term of endearment before chuckling softly. "That being said, you seriously need to stop using yourself as a shield. If you ever get hurt again and don't tell me, I'll drag you somewhere safe and then wring your neck, Stampede. No matter how much I love you or how many other people are in danger. Understood?"

That drew a genuine laugh from Vash, who hugged you tightly to him once more and kissed your temple gently before letting his cheek rest against the top of your head.

"Of course. I'd expect no less from you, Mayfly."

"You'd better," You grumbled in response, burrowing further into his arms and sighing softly, allowing yourself to finally relax, letting go of the fear and the anger and sadness you had been feeling.

After a couple moments, you pulled away from Vash and stood up, which caused Vash to whine immediately at the loss of you and your embrace.

"(Y/NNNNN)..."

You couldn't help but giggle softly at the puppy dog eyes Vash was giving you, his pout making your heart flutter in your chest as you rolled your eyes at him playfully.

"Calm down, Stampede. I promise we can cuddle all night, okay? You need to get into bed first, though, so we don't reopen your wound or anything, okay?"

As soon as you mentioned cuddles, Vash perked up and smiled at you, making you laugh softly. You watched over him as he stood up from the chair he'd been sitting on while you'd stitched him up, and despite knowing he could do it on his own, you couldn't help but take Vash's arm in your own and support him as he moved to the bed and sat down slowly.

Vash winced slightly as he laid back on the bed, the stitches pulling and the wound aching, but as soon as his head hit the pillow, his exhaustion hit him. If it weren't for you puttering around the room, he likely already would've been fallen asleep.

"Hang on, love."

Your gentle voice reached Vash's ear and he watched sleepily as you took off his boots and put them down next to the bed.

"You don't need to-" Vash tried to argue quietly, only for you to shut him down immediately.

"You're exhausted, love. Just let me take care of you, okay?"

Vash's gaze was filled with warmth, affection and love as he smiled sleepily at you and mumbled in response, "You're too good for me, Mayfly. Thank you."

"Oh, shut up."

Ah, there was the you Vash knew well. He couldn't help but smile as his tiredness began to take over.

After a couple minutes, the room went dark as you turned out the lights and you slowly got into bed next to Vash, ensuring to lay next to his uninjured side. Your head rested on the same pillow, and you nuzzled your face into his neck as Vash slowly placed his arm around your waist and pulled you gently into him. You could feel his nose gently resting in your hair as he took a deep breath, inhaling your familiar scent and allowing your presence to comfort, calm and soothe him.

"We're not done talking about this. You know that, right, Vash?" You asked quietly, looking at the man you loved carefully.

Vash simply nodded and looked you in the eyes as he answered softly, "I know, Mayfly. We still have a lot to discuss. But for now, I'm just going to hold you. You're all I need in my life, (Y/N)."

And he was all you needed, too.

[sillybaekgu]

Dizzy in love

☆ Jungwon x reader, dizziness at an amusement park, fluff, Jungwon being a total boyfriend and more…!

You were wondering how you ended up in this situation, the loud fireworks didn’t allow you to think clearly and you followed your heart’s desire for once.

Let’s rewind to understand what’s going on.

The wind is piercing your skin, you’re holding on to your friend, Jungwon, tightly. You’re eyes are shut but for a moment you feel the necessity to look at him, so you take a glance, even if it was incredibly fast you registered every single detail, form the wind blowing his hair in all directions to the bright smile plastered on his face, you felt your face heat up. You tried to convince yourself it was because of the adrenaline rush but deep down you knew it was all because of Jungwon. As the ride finally stopped and on your way out you felt heavy and suddenly very dizzy, Jungwon, who was walking next to you noticed and immediately held you softly to help you keep your balance—Oh! Yn, are you okay? You seem dizzy.— As he pulled you closer in case of you collapsing—I’m just a little dizzy, perhaps I enjoyed the ride too much!— You said holding your head from the side while letting Jungwon guide you to a place where you could take a little break. —Sorry Won, at this point we’re probably late for the last ride you wanted to get on.— The guilt overflowing in your eyes. Jungwon took your hand and said—It’s okay, I wanted to enjoy it with you but we both need to be okay for that and if you need time to feel better, I’ll wait with you here.— His eyes had a glow that made your heart skip a beat, his soft touch and the way he just sat there making sure you knew he was there for you in case you needed anything. Suddenly the power went out, Jungwon immediately grabbed your hand and said—Stay close to me—He held your hand softly yet decided to make sure you couldn’t let go. Suddenly the show started, the sky lit up in thousand colors, the noise made you both jump slightly as it was so sudden, the dizziness faded as your eyes focused on the firework show and Jungwon. You both stood up and watched closely. You turned to look at Jungwon, your eyes meeting his instantly, now finally facing each other you slowly approached him, reducing the distance between your lips. The kiss was so loving and sweet, his soft tender lips against yours, you pulled away just a little bit, you smiled and everything was perfect. The way the fireworks lit up his face, how it was just you and him and how his hands held you close to him. You hugged and sat again to finish watching the show. Your hands were placed on your thighs and slowly you felt his hand sneak to hold your hand, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles he put your hand against his chest and said—I love you.

[midnight-pluto]

TAG — diluc r.

TROPES: childhood best friends, fluff, slight angst at the end

UNIVERSE: canon-ish

PAIRING(S): diluc x gn!reader

WARNING(S): mentions of alcohol

A/N: shoutout to the anon who helped give me the inspo for this <3

AS LOYAL PATRONS of The Angel's Share, your parents were frequent attenders of all of Dawn Winery’s events - wine tasting, birthdays, or just simple celebrations they were there.

However at your age, you couldn’t drink more than half of the menu and didn’t want to converse with drunken adults. So you were forced to sit inside under the supervision of the maids.

Mindlessly sipping on your juice while looking at the crossword puzzle given to you by the maids as your source of entertainment, you try your best to block out the loud talk outside.

What caught your eye though was a boy quickly going down the stairs, his socks sliding against the wooden floor and making his way over to the woman who was watching over you.

Gently tugging on her skirt to gain her attention, he speaks to her but softly enough for the laughter outside to block it from reaching your ears.

‘Red hair… is that Crepus’ son?’

Smiling softly at the boy, she points over to you leading to two pairs of eyes looking in your direction; straightening up under their gaze, you look to your left and right and point to yourself.

She simply chuckles and nods, giving the boy a soft push in your direction to which he followed and sat next to you on the sofa.

“Hi, what’s your name?” he asked.

“Y/N,” you reply simply, “What’s yours?”

“Diluc.”

“Cool,” you nod, not knowing what else to say.

“Cool,” he replied, also not knowing what else to say.

After a minute of silence you ask, “What do you think they’re talking about out there?”

“Who?

“The adults,” you remark blandly, “Bet it’s about wine.”

“It is a wine tasting event,” he responds, “My dad’s made another drink.”

There was a long silence for a moment. That was until Diluc had invited you to play tag outside since he was getting bored sitting around the house.

Accepting his invitation, he grabbed your hand and walked out the front door and into the vineyard where that game would begin.

“Why don’t we play hide-and-go-tag? I don’t like running a lot,” you offer, not the most thrilled at the thought of running in your nice clothes and then potentially getting stained.

“Mm… alright,” he agreed, and began counting.

“…9…10! Ready or not, here I come!” he announced, softly walking on the grass below his boots, and searching in between the lines vineyards for any sign of you.

After a few minutes of searching in between the vineyards he decides to search the crates next to the sign displaying the fact that there was currently an event taking place.

As he approached the crates he saw your figure dash out of the opening between the sign and the crates the other way yelling:

“You’ll never catch me alive!”

Causing the adults in the area to pause and observe what was occurring. Seeing your silhouette outlined by the lanterns glow run past them, and immediately seeing another - catching a glimpse of red hair - sprint after you, automatically understanding the situation.

“Careful! Make sure to not trip - it’s so dark right now,” a voice called out to the both of you.

“We know!” Diluc shouted back, steadily gaining on you.

Hearing his voice so close to you causes your adrenaline to spike and run faster than before, wind blowing against your face and in your ears.

Making a sharp turn you run towards the nearby lake, careful of your footing as to not fall flat on your face and to get dirty. You eventually get near the water and inhale sharp breaths once you get there.

You eventually hear another tired voice pant out, “Tag.”

Diluc was breathing harder than you, weakly touching your shoulder as to make sure you knew you were tagged and now it.

Your legs were to tired to hold you up and you sat on the sand, breathing slowing down. Diluc soon followed with an ‘oof.’

“We should just stay here,” you breathe out.

“Sounds good,” he sighs.

KNOCKING ON THE door of Dawn Winery as politely as you could, you immediately started speaking the moment the door was answered.

“Hello mr. Crepus, I would like to know where my favorite one of your sons are.”

“Hey! That is so rude,” Kaeya spoke up, pouting by the stairs.

“He’s upstairs in his room,” the older man replied, moving to let you in.

“Don’t worry Kaeya ‘cause Diluc’s about to get yelled at,” you say while speeding up the stairs.

Kaeya took a long look at his adoptive father, “Are you really just going to let them do that?”

“Eh, Diluc needs these kinds of things at his age.”

Slamming his door open with a loud, “Diluc!” caused the boy to jump and sit up in his bed and snapping his book shut.

“Diluc,” you stared at the boy in front of you dead in the eyes, as you silently shut his door - a stark contrast as to how you entered his room, “Why didn’t you tell me you got accepted as a knight of Favonius?”

“I- see, you were really busy with your studies and I didn’t want to bother you-“

“I don’t care about my studies!” you flopped onto his bed, “Well, not as much as you getting accepted into the knights, but still!

“We’re only ten, and here you are getting accepted into the knights! You should’ve told me,” you say a lot more calmer now, sitting on the edge of his bed as he shuffles to sit next to you.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he relents, “I promise you’ll be one of the first ones to know when something like this happens again.”

“Pinky,” you tell jokingly, holding yours out.

“Fine,” he huffs out, wrapping his pinky with yours.

“Your it now,” you say with a smug expression on your face.

“Oh my-“ he groans, taking his pinky away from you a taking back his book to read.

The game of tag has been going on for years now, non-stop with random time intervals and rules now added but it’s still a fun nostalgia piece to do.

“What’re you even reading this time around,” you ask, looking at the faint words of the book cover. “The Legend of Vennessa,” you read aloud, “Again?”

“Why not?”

“Fair point I guess, but still. You’ve read that like, what? Five times already?”

“It’s a good book!”

“Whatever,” you sigh.

“Don’t act like you haven’t read a book five times before,” Diluc points out, “Hex and Hound? That has like eleven volumes. How do you even have the patience?”

“No, I can’t get my hands on the last two volumes. It’s sold in Inazuma, I can’t even borrow it from the library like the rest of them,” you huff out.

“That’s tough man,” he remarks.

“It really is. It was left on a cliffhanger too!” you groan.

“What’s a cliffhanger again? I forgot,” Diluc asked, sweat dropping at the look you gave him, “What? I don’t read that often nowadays.”

“You’re left hanging. Dangling on a cliff. With no one to save you.”

“…do you think that’d be something that would happen to me if I’m on duty as a knight?”

“Diluc!”

"SO, CALVARY CAPTAIN now huh?" you teased, leaning your back against Diluc's shoulder.

You were under the tree under Windrise, and just as he had promise four years ago, you were one of the first to know about his promotion. Resting against the bark you watch as he methodically brushes the horses light brown coat.

"I suppose," he chuckles.

"Making history already; youngest calvary captain ever in the Knights of Favonius, heir to Mondstadt's wine industry, and is a vision holder! How does it feel?" you asks playfully, holding a windwheel aster you plucked from the ground and putting it near his face so he could talk into it.

"It really isn't that much-"

"Ah, oh so modest as ever" you laugh softly at his face because of your interruption. Blowing air into the red flower makes its petals spin slowly, "So, is the official Calvary Captain going to show me how to ride a horse or what?"

"So that's why you brought me here." Diluc nods in understanding with an amused look on his face, "Well, you better get up if that's what's going to happen."

"Wait I was just joking-" you couldn't finish your sentence until you were pulled up by him, clutching on the windwheel aster tighter as to not drop it.

Thankfully the horse Diluc had ridden to arrive at

Windrise was laying down so there wasn't that much of a difficulty.

Just as you were adjusting to your new seating arrangement the horse suddenly stood up, making you fall forward only to have your face meet with Diluc's back and grabbing onto the edges of the saddle for stability.

Straightening up, you see your friends face looking at you with a small smile and gently taking your hands off the saddle to place around his waist.

"So you won't fall," he explains, glancing at your widened eyes.

Feeling your heart beat faster you look towards your left at the shallow river created by the waterfall as a way to not gawk at his sheer amount of nonchalance at pulling you closer.

Shifting forward, your press your front against his back as the horse begins to trot forward.

Unfortunately, Diluc wasn't one to go slowly. He placed more force upon the saddle's stirrup causing the horse's light trot to a fast gallop.

At the sudden change of speed you let out a small squeak, hurrying your face into Diluc's back and tightening your grip against his waist and the flower you still held.

Feeling your added pressure against his body, Diluc places a soothing hand against yours wrapped around his waist and rubs his thumb against the back of your hand as an attempt to calm you.

"I suppose that this counts as tag, huh?" he asked playfully, continuing to hold your hand in his.

"Yeah! Sure," you reply quickly, trying to get over the fact that you might've developed a crush on your best friend.

EVER SINCE DILUC’s eighteenth birthday, things have never been the same.

The people of Mondstadt have fallen silent, Kaeya’s usual charming nature turned off, and Diluc hasn’t been seen since.

As you were standing by his fathers grave, placing flowers next to it footsteps were heard approaching you. Looking over your shoulder, you catch a glimpse of a familiar eyepatch and blue hair.

“Hey Kaeya,” you say, eyes still fixated on the grave in front of you.

“Diluc’s gone,” he spoke, voice trembling.

“What?” your voice was low, not believing your own ears.

“Diluc has left Mondstadt. He left Adeline in charge of the manor,” he explains, voice void of any emotion.

“Do you know where he went?”

“We… we ended things on bad terms,” Kaeya says as if he were holding back tears.

Hearing his trembling voice, you decide not to push any further. “I see.”

“Thank you, Kaeya, for letting me know,” you turn towards him with a somber smile and walking past him.

“Where are you going?” Kaeya called out to you.

“Dawn Winery. Adeline must know something about Diluc’s disappearance,” you say not stopping your footsteps, “At the very least Diluc must’ve left a not or, something.”

“As stubborn as ever,” Kaeya dryly chuckles.

You were going to find Diluc, that was a fact. In your game of tag you were the last one to be proclaimed ‘it.’ You refused to lose to him, you couldn’t stand it.

You refused to lose him.

A/N: goddam this was a long ass fic ; part 2 anyone?

[meowmarkie]

first snow — jsc

you were out buying drinks at a convenience store to celebrate your most recent achievement, however, fate had other plans which involved the one Jung Sungchan and a couple of snowflakes

pairing. . . sungchan x female reader

genre. . . fluff

prompt. . . love at first sight

requested?. . . yes!

The wind was coldly blowing through your face, sending small shivers down your spine. Cold didn’t agree with you — but it was still better than hot climates, in which you’d sweat non-stop.

Yet another year was coming close to an end and the imminent question about new year resolutions was popping around in your head, even though said holiday was still a month away. After all, what had you done this year that was somewhat meaningful to you? That’s something worth thinking about.

Well, you did manage to get into the most prestigious psychology program in Seoul while working part time as a barista. Not many people you know can juggle college and a job at the same time, so it’s safe to say that’s a solid achievement.

Nonetheless, you were walking down your street, hands filled with convenience store plastic bags. The good college related news arrived earlier in the day, but you were only having time to celebrate it a few minutes past 11 pm. Your day wasn’t busy at all, it was actually your best friend who only finished her activities at such time in the night. 

After walking for a while, you felt a sudden vibration coming from your jacket’s pocket — it was probably your best friend calling. 

Once you had your phone in your hands, the time it showed stood out. It was precisely 11:11 pm. An angel number.

Usually, things like horoscopes, angel numbers and tarot cards weren’t your cup of tea but you did, however, believe in fate. You believed there was a reason for you to have seen such numbers together.

Before a line of thought could be finished, you suddenly felt yourself bump into something large and big. It turns out you hadn’t stopped walking while checking your phone and you probably bumped into a wall. Such realization came after your butt hit the ground with a loud “pof” — Thank God it was winter.

“Are you okay?” A sweet voice called out, making you look up again, mildly confused since the walls you know don’t usually talk. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there”

You got up quickly from the ground, expression filled with embarrassment. Now that you knew you were dealing with another human being, the situation became 4 times more stressful than before.

“I’m… Fine”

As soon as you both lock eyes, something in the air shifts. The cold wind suddenly turns warm and it feels like it’s day again. The stranger’s eyes were the kindest you had ever seen in your whole life, and in just a mere second, you managed to feel safe exactly where you were.

It was as amazing as it was strange to be feeling such things. It was also even more exhilarating to know that somewhat, it went both ways. A magical thread of connection was formed in this beautiful wintery night.

“Here, let me help you” He said, getting your bags off the ground and handing them to you. “Please hurry home, the weather forecast said that-” His train of thought was interrupted by a mountain of snowflakes that started pouring down from the sky, making him frown and pout a bit.

“What’s wrong?” You said, after noticing both his frown and the sudden increase in the wind to snow ration.

“I live very far from here, and the weather report said to expect a blizzard today… I can’t believe this year’s first snowfall is going to be that aggressive”

His sad expression broke your heart, and you didn’t even know his name! What absurd thing, you thought, to be this connected and empathetic towards someone you just met, and bumped into?!

“Okay, first things first. What’s your name?”

“Oh, right! I didn’t introduce myself, sorry, I’m Sungchan, and you?” He said, smiling warmly and offering you his hand.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you!” You gladly shook his hand after introducing yourself to him. “Would you like to wait it out at my house? I know I just met you, but I wouldn’t like to be in your position if the tables were turned, and I’d be really thankful if someone offered me a place to stay” You were a certified yapper whenever you felt nervous, and right now, you were about to piss your pants out of nervousness. 

Here’s the thing, you never knew how to maintain your composure around pretty boys, and Sungchan was just… Breathtaking. It was almost dizzying to look at him for even more than a minute.

You didn’t think someone could ever feel as strongly as you, but right now, Sungchan was there to prove you wrong. He was completely starstruck after gazing upon your beautiful and delicate figure.

“I really don’t know how to thank you. I’m gladly accepting your offer!” He promptly took the bags out of your hands, in order to make things lighter for you. That’s when he noticed the bottles of Soju and the mini-sized bottle of champagne. “Ooh, so we’re celebrating, huh? What’s the occasion?” You two started walking quickly towards your house, making small talk.

“I just got into Seoul’s most prestigious psychology program at SNU! I worked really hard for it” This was an insane accomplishment, you thought to yourself. Pride is not a strong enough word to describe your feelings.

“No way! I’m also a freshman there!” Sungchan’s eyes gleamed with excitement. “Wow, the universe really wanted us to meet, then! That’s nice.”

After talking for a few more minutes, you both finally arrived at your house. Your best friend was waiting for you — worried sick — at the door. She then noticed the very tall man’s presence, which was explained right after her noticing him.

Your best friend seemed to get along with him really well, making you feel happy and at ease — she was hard to please, that one. 

This whole situation made you think back to your new year’s resolutions. One thing was missing from your bucket list, one of your prioritized goals: that was, falling in love. 

And now, some weird intuitive feeling tells you that Sungchan can help you accomplish said goal

hey guys! i hope you like this and don't be shy to request other things! just make sure you follow the rules ;)

[cherryberry-sugarandspice]

Night Of Your Life

Miguel O'Hara × fem!reader × Felicia Hardy

Cw: 18+, smut, threesome, p in v sex, oral receiving/giving, F/F/M, slight BDSM, unprotected sex, sem-public sex?, pet names mouse/mousie/kitty/spidey

Summary: Felicia took you hostage in order to see Miguel again, but found you to be cute. You found her utterly attractive. One thing led to another, you two have sex and add Miguel into the mix

Word Count: 6k+

WARNING ⚠️: NSFW below

Suspended in the air, arms tied behind your back, rope around your pelvis and chest. The rope is silky smooth and gentle on your shivering skin. Pink dolphin cut shorts and lacey red panties discarded on the floor, Felicia Hardy—the infamous cat burglar known as Black Cat—buried in your velvet warmth, licking into your hole. Your moans fill the empty expanse of a half finished room of a building half way done through construction. Your breaths come out in white puffs due to the cold night air. You arch your back in a gasp as two manicured fingers rub slow, careful circles into your puffy clit.

“That feel good?” Felicia purred, licking your sweet nectar off her plump lips. Her black lipstick hasn’t once left her lips, but left a good few prints over your trembling thighs and plush asscheeks. “Mouse, baby, tell me how good you feel.”

Felicia licks over your swollen, sucking it into her mouth. You cry out in pleasure, squirming in your restraints. “Ah! So, so good! Fuck, keep—ahhh~!—licking me like that!”

How did you end up in a situation where Felicia Hardy is devouring your cunt as if it were her last meal? Well, let’s go back to two hours ago.

You had just gotten off of work and took a quick shower before running to the bank. You were wearing pink shorts and a white tank top with no bra. The slickness of the water made your clothes stick to your body, the tank top showing off the color of your nipples. You hardly cared, as you were trying to get to the bank before they closed. Today was payday and the online app wasn’t working, and tomorrow rent is due. If you don’t deposit the check in time, you’ll be late on rent again and your landlord will kick you out for it.

Approaching the counter, you shoved an old lady with an oxygen tank out of the way. She falls to the ground and crumbles into dust, blown away by the wind. You deposit your check and receive the receipt, relief flooding into your body. It’ll hurt watching your money drain out of your account, but at least you get to stay another month. You walked out of the bank, about to head home when Felicia came running, narrowly avoiding the cops. She spotted you and scooped you up in her arms, tossing you over her shoulder and climbed up the side of the building.

It all happened so fast that you didn’t realize what was going on until she stood on top of the building, patting your back. “Back off! I have a hostage. If you want her safe and sound, then the only person who can save her is Spidey.” She blows the police a kiss, winking. “Until next time!”

Felicia brought you here to the top of the half built building. She tied you up to one of the exposed metal pipes in the ceiling and pranced around the room, waiting for Spiderman. The sun had fully set and the light of the moon reflected off her tight black leather suit that hugged all of her curves. She ran her slender fingers through her plantium blonde hair, staring out into the city of Nueva York.

A cold breeze had blown against you and you shivered, shaking in your confinements. Goosebumps rose on your arms and legs, and you tried to get your mind off of how cold you were. Due to taking a shower piror, you were absolutely freezing.

Felicia caught wind of this and smiled slyly, sauntering up to you with the sway of her hips. She placed a hand on your foot and spun you around as she walked in a circle. Your trembling form is adorable to her. As if you were a mouse trapped. “You’re shaking, little Mouse. What’s wrong? Scared that this kitty will bite?”

“N-No,” you stutter, teeth clacking against each other. She walks a few feet away as you slowly spun. Her hands were on her hips, playful green eyes staring at you. “I-I’m cold. That’s a-all.”

The woman had hummed, nodding her head in understanding. She looks around. “Sorry, Mousie, but I don’t see any blankets for you.”

“I-It’s okay. Will I be let go when S-Spiderman gets here?” Spiderman is a giant hero with broad shoulders and a jealous looking slim waist. He’s a brooding man with little patience and tends to sometimes snap on the people he’s saved if he’s annoyed enough by his villains. But he is kind and gentle to those in need, even if he comes off as an asshole sometimes.

“Of course, Mouse. I just needed an excuse to see Spidey,” she reassured. She walked back up to you, loosely laying her arms on your shoulders, green eyes gazing into yours. Her face was inches away from yours, her warm breath a welcoming feeling on your cold skin. “I won’t hurt you, little Mouse, in case you were wondering.” She propped her elbow up on your shoulder and played with your hair. “I’m a girl’s girl, ya know?”

Felicia’s beauty makes your heart skip a beat. From up close, you see all the delicate features of her face. Smooth, milky skin. Round cheeks. Heart shaped face. Perfectly shaped eyebrows. A beauty mark right above her plump upper lip. Beautiful smelling hair you ache to run your fingers through. Everything about the cat burglar makes your stomach flip and you’re tempted to lean in and kiss her.

“You’re beautiful,” you mumbled outloud. You blinked, realizing you spoke your thoughts instead of keeping them hidden. Felicia only stared at you, her playful expression not once having left her face. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that! I MEAN—I didn’t mean to say that outloud! It’s just you’re really pretty and it’s not like I find you attractive—NOT SAYING THAT YOU’RE NOT ATTRACTIVE BECAUSE YOU ARE—”

A slender finger is pressed against your lips, silencing you.

Felicia tilted her head, hair falling against her shoulders, eyes crinkling at the corners. “You’re so cute, little Mouse.” A claw poked out of her finger and she traced your face. She placed the claw beneath your chin and lifted your head up, exposing your neck to her. She leaned down to plant wisps of kisses along your neck. “I like cute things.”

Oh my god, is this really happening? Your body shudderedin anticipation, sweat beading on the side of your head and trickling down to your chin. “I-I’m glad you find me cute, F-Felicia.”

Felicia giggled, kissing up to the corner of your lips. “Want to make this a memorable night for you, little Mouse? Want this kitty to make you feel good?”

“Y-Yes, please.”

“Hmm, so polite,” she purred, right before kissing you.

And that’s how you find yourself like this, moaning loudly as she sucked on your clit. Your feet kick, tongue rolling out of your mouth, coating your chin in spit. Tendrils of heat crawls up your gooseflesh and to your eyes, causing tears to well up due to the overwhelming heat of pleasure. Felicia kneads at the flesh of your ass, landing a couple of smacks. Your round ass jiggles from her hands smacking against your plushness.

Felicia swirls her tongue around your button, teeth grazing against it. You jump, accidentally swinging forward and smacking your wet pussy against her face. Juices sprinkle out of your pussy due to the impact and it lands in droplets along the ground.

“S-Sorry!” you yelp.

“Oh, Mouse, don’t apologize,” Felicia coos, breath hot against your cunt. Her fingers rub along your wet folds and spread your lips apart. Cream pushes out of your pulsating hole and she bites down on her lip, her own cunt dripping arousal. She licks up your fluids, smiling at your cute little mewls. “Mm, your pussy tastes so good. No wonder kitty cats love eating mice.”

Her face is back in your pussy, tongue silthering into your hole. Her nose rubs against your puffy clit, sending shocks and tingles of pleasure into your core. Her tongue rolls around in your canal, lapping against your gummy walls. Your walls clench around her tongue, attempting to keep it in place, but she easily wins against the fight.

Your moaning loudly, mouth wide open with drool slipping out of the corners. You twitch and squirm with every lick the Black Cat gives you, tugging against your restraints. Her claws rip apart your tank top, the fabric falling to the ground in shreds. Her hands find your breasts and she squeezes, rolling your buds between her fingers. You whimper, tongue darting out to moisten your lips.

Felicia’s claws run down your shivering stomach, making your lower stomach twitch. Her claws lightly scratch at your skin, leaving little red streaks. She tilts her head, humming as she devours your yummy pussy. Her tongue is coated in your sweet nectar with each pump. Arousal soaks her chin and slides down her leather suit.

“So delicious,” she moans, her voice muffled by your folds. She laps at your hole in rapid succession, making your toes curl. “Mousie, your pussy is so addicting. Love how you spill your juices on my tongue.” She shakes her head against your cunt, laughing as you mewl. “Doing so good for me, Mousie. Such a good girl.”

Your moans rip out of your throat in screams as she continues to munch on your heated essence. She grabs your hips tightly, shoving your cunt against her face, slowly suffocating her. A tight coil forms in your stomach and you curl into a ball, legs resting on her shoulders.

“F-Felica!” you gasp, brows furrowing up in the up-coming high of your orgasam. “I-I’m gonna cum! Oh, fuck!”

“My little Mousie gonna cum?” Felicia chuckles, continuing to drill her tongue in your hole.

“Ah! Ah! Yes!”

Felicia keeps her face buried in your cunt, keeping the pace of her tongue as she rubs your neglected clit again. She smacks your right buttock and gives a tight squeeze. “Cum for me, Mousie. Make a mess on this kitty’s face, you cute little slut.”

Her dirty words give you the final push. You cum with a cream, white filling your vision as you cream all over her face. She lowers herself a bit, mouth wide open with her tongue rolled out, catching your elixir into her mouth.

You tremble, chest heaving as you catch your breath. Felicia spins you around and captures your lips in a long, sensual kiss. She licks your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter, which you happily grant her access for. Her tongue rubs against yours, tasting your juices on your taste buds. When she pulls away, there’s a string of saliva connecting each other’s tongues.

“How do you feel, Mousie?” Felicia asks with a deep purr, her expression just as fucked out as yours. Her knuckles brush along your cheeks, placing a kiss on the tip of your nose.

“Wonderful,” you say breathless, a small smile on your face.

“I’m happy to hear it.” She kisses your neck, nibbling on the flesh. “Want to continue this, beautiful? Want to fuck?”

You nod eagerly, pratically whining. “Please! Please!”

Felicia laughs, helping you down from your ropes. “Such a needy little Mouse. You sure you’re not scared of this kitty cat?” She bites at you, teeth clacking against each other. You only breathe in response, chasing after her lips. She allows you to kiss her as she places you on your feet, your body pressing against hers. Felicia is taller than you, standing at 5’10. Her body is soft yet hard against yours, her breasts on either side of your face. The moment your hands were untied, you wrap your tingling arms around her neck, pulling her down. Her hands rest on your hips, tilting her head to deepen the kiss.

Felicia’s soft hands rub up and down your heated skin, claws poking at you. Your heart flutters in your chest, knees turning to jello from her tentative touches. The kiss is long and slow, the two of you taking the time to get a proper feel. But soon, teeth clack against each other, her hands trailing down to grope your ass and bring your hips against her. The kiss is dizzying and sloppy, smacking noises echoing out into the room.

You’re the first to pull away for air, heaving as she licks your cheek. She attacks your neck with tender kisses, helping you to lay on the ground. Felicia stands on her knees as she undoes her suit, hungry green eyes never leaving yours as she strips naked. You prop yourself up on your elbows, breath catching in your throat.

Felicia’s body is gorgeous and alluring. Round hips. Perky breasts. The outline of forming abs. She hovers over you again, her nipples rubbing against yours. “Like what you see, Mousie?”

“I love what I see,” you rasped out, cupping her cheeks. Your thumbs swipe across the space beneath her eyes and you gently peel off her mask to get a better look of her beauty.

Felicia leans back down to kiss you, lips smacking against each other. She hums, fire burning deep within her core. She loves how cute you are. How gentle and sweet you act towards her—yet so needy. She grabs the back of your knee and lifts it up, placing her own knee right next to your waist. Her pussy slowly rubs against yours and you gasp against her lips. She swallows your noises, laying your leg on her shoulder. Clits bump against one another, pussies drenching each other with slick.

“Ready, Mouse?” Felicia asks, her lips lingering on yours.

You nod, blinking your shiny eyes up at her. Your chest rises and falls with your heavy breaths, lips parted slightly. “Please, Felicia.”

“I love how polite you are. Makes me want to keep you as my little pet,” Felicia teases. She straightens her back, tongue darting out to lick her lips, and begins to grind. Your back arches, eyes rolling to the back of your head as her pussy grinds against yours.

Yes, you’ve had sex with women before, but this session with Felicia is nothing compared to the other times. This one is more intimate, sensual, and heat inducing. Her clit grinds perfectly against yours, her juices spilling into your velvety warmth. Her breasts bounce slightly with each movement of her hips, yours rocking back and forth on your chest.

“Ah!” you moan, reaching up to squeeze her breasts. She smirks in approval, pushing against your cunt roughtly. You twist and pull at her nipples, hands dropping when she sneaks a finger between your lips to play with your bundle of nerves. “Oh, fuck! Yes! Felicia, feel s’good!”

“Yeah, Mousie?” she purrs, sweat beading along her body. With every grind against each other’s wet pussies, squelching noises elicits from them, juices coating the other one’s plush thighs. “Love how my pussy feels against yours? Hm?”

“Oh, Felicia, it feels so damn good!” you scream. The joints of her fingers squeeze your clit, shaking it. You pant heavily, eyes squeezing shut in pleasure as she plays with the button. Moans and mewls escape your wet lips, body squirming as her cunt continues to grind against yours.

“Ahh, do you hear how filthy you sound, Mousie?” she coos, adjusting herself so her fat pussy buries itself a bit within your folds. “Who makes you this way? Huh? Has anyone else ever made you sound like such a dirty slut or is that only my specialty?”

You pant like a bitch in heat, drool covering your chin and neck. “Ngh! You! You, Felicia!”

“Yeah? Tell me how much you love my pussy, little mouse.” Her fingers wrap around your neck, claws poking into your flesh. She smirks a bit when she hears a heavy thud towards the end of the room, footsteps making their way over to this scene. She tightens her grip, making you whimper. “I said tell me, you cute little whore.”

“Ah, ah~! I love it! Fuck, I love how wet it is against my pussy!” you cry out, wrapping your fingers around her wrist and smiling as she chokes you slightly. The overwhelming pleasure is becoming too much again. The familiar coil tightens in your stomach, and you’re a bit embarrassed by how you’ve reached your oragasm so quickly, but who cares? Felicia’s—

“W-What is going on here?” A deep voice says in pure shock.

You freeze, all moans cutting off and head snapping up to see who’s here. A few feet away from Felicia is Spiderman, the red outline where his eyes are supposed to be wide in surprise. He’s in his blue UMF suit, the fabric sometimes twinkling. He blinks a couple of times, shifting on his feet, unsure of what to think or do. He’d been informed of Black Cat taking a cilvilian hostage, which he found strange. She never usually takes anyone hostage, as she’s quick and fluid in her antics. But he believed she was only doing this to get his attention. Right up until he found her doing you.

Felicia slows the movement of her hips, peering over her shoulder with a smirk.

“Spidey! Took you long enough,” she giggles, hand on her hip. She clicks her tongue in mock disappointment, raising a brow at him. “You do realize that I had a hostage, right? She could’ve been in real danger here.”

Spiderman looks you over and you shudder, cheeks burning in a mixture of excitement and embarrassment. Somehow, the hero walking in and discovering you two in this position is enticing. Being caught makes your hole clench tightly around nothing. “She looks fine to me,” Spiderman said, rubbing the back of his neck. The red outline of eyes were still wide, and if you squint hard enough, you can see a heavy blush beneath his blue mask. “Do…Do I even need to be here?”

Both you and Felicia stare down at his cock, which has been erected to full length. He’s clearly enjoying the sight in front of him. Two attractive women were having sex with each other—why wouldn’t he like it?

“If she’s okay with it,” Felicia informs him, returning her gaze to yours. She rubs your chin affectionately. “What do you say, Mouse? Want him to join, watch, or leave? Whatever you want, I want, cutie.” She then looks at him. “If she tells you to leave, you leave, got it?”

“Obviously,” Spiderman grumbled, crossing his arms over his muscular chest. “What do I look like to you? Some weird, gross pervert?”

Felicia gestures to his erection and he only glares at her.

You do take a moment to think about it. The thought of Spiderman of all people fucking you is mind blowing. Of course, you’ve fantasized about his cock penetrating you over and over again until you were a sobbing mess, body coated in his cum. Then add Felicia into the mix? She’s already pleasured you wonderfully, her tongue like magic and her pussy creating delicious friction against yours. Honestly? A threesome with Black Cat and Spiderman is a dream come true.

You prop yourself up on your elbows, gaze switching from Felicia to Spiderman. “I-I mean, if he wants to join…I’m perfectly fine with it.”

Spiderman tenses up a bit, clearly surprised by your answer. His cock twitches in excitment. “A-Are you sure.” He walks over and squats down next to you. When he speaks again, his voice is gentle. “I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“He’s right,” Felicia whispers, caressing your cheek with her hand. “Don’t feel like you have to say yes. Besides, he’s a stinky man.”

Spiderman gives her another glare.

“I’m okay with it, I promise,” you reassure, looking at them both. “If I wasn’t, I promise I’ll say something.”

Felicia leans down to kiss your cheek. “Let’s come up with a safe word. If we’re going to continue with this, we’re going to need a safe word.”

Spiderman nods, his hand hesitantly reaching out to brush your hair off your forehead. He’s afraid to do anything that would make you uncomfortable or feel unsafe. As much as having sex with you and Felicia excites him, you come first. The pads of fingers were rough against your skin and you shiver, breath coming out in puffs. A gush of arousal spills from your slit and you purse your lips, embarrassed at how turned on you are even though nothing is happening just yet.

“You come up with the word, Mouse. Say it anytime, even if you’re so close to finishing. We both want you to have a fun, enjoyable time,” Felicia tells you. Neither Spiderman nor her move, waiting for you to come up with a safe word.

“How about…blueberry?”

“Is it because he’s blue?” Felicia gestures towards Spiderman and he rolls his eyes beneath his mask, landing a smack on her ass. She yelps, cheeks flush as she gives him a sensual stare. “Been awhile since you’ve done that, Spidey.”

Spiderman’s mask disappears, fevealing a handsome man beneath. Your breath catches in your throat for what feels like the millionth time tonight. God, why are they so hot? He grabs Felicia by the chin and brings her close to his face, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“Kitty, tonight, there’s going to be a lot I’m going to do that I haven’t done with you in a long time,” he said huskily, kissing her. She hums in delight, kissing him back with a fierce hunger. He growls, his fangs poking through his lips. He squeezes her plump ass, landing another smack. He pulls away and turns his gaze to you, the pupils of his red eyes blown out in arousal. “And you,” he said, leaning down to hover his lips above yours, “I’m going to show you a lot of things.” His lips ghost yours for a bit. “If you’re okay with it, nena.”

“Mouse,” Felicia corrects, climbing off of you to sit by your side. She places a hand over your twitching stomach, lightly squeezing the soft flesh. “Her nickname is Mouse, or Mousie. Because look at how much she shakes. Isn’t that so cute?”

“Cute,” he agrees, staring at you with hunger in his red eyes. He plants his lips on yours more firmly this time, gently kissing you. “She’s very cute.”

Hands rub along your waist and stomach, sending wavepools of heat into your core. “What’s your name?” you ask Spiderman, eyes fluttering shut when his bare hands knead your mounds.

“Promise not to tell?”

“I-I promise.”

He pecks your cheek, smiling against your skin. “Miguel, little Mouse. My name is Miguel. I believe you’ll put it to good use, right?”

“I know I have before,” Felicia purrs, winking at the hero.

“Well, uh, It’s nice to meet you, Miguel.”

Miguel chuckles, kissing your cheek again. “It’s nice to meet you too, little Mouse.” His suit disappears, revealing his naked, rock hard body. Your hand instinctively rubs his abdomen, fingers tracing the lines between his abs. He watches you as you take the time to get a feel of his body, his cock twitching upwards against his lower stomach.

Miguel’s cock is erected at a full ten inches, his girth thick. Veins pulse at the sides of his massive penis. Precum leaks from his fat tip, the pearly breads streaking down his shaft. You’re tempted to lean over and lick him clean. Felicia also has the same desires. She sees the look on your face and smirks. She rubs Miguel’s chest and pushes him to sit back, arching her back as she gets on her knees.

“Hmm, let us take care of that for you, Spidey,” she purrs. You immediately scramble onto your hands and knees, eyes never once leaving his cock.

Miguel leans back on his hands, a smirk on his face. He gestures towards his member. “Go ahead, girls. He’s all yours.”

Felicia wraps her arm around your waist and brings you close to her. “Shall we?” You nod at her, leaning down to give a kitten lick on his tip. The pearly white beads soak into your taste buds, the salty taste of his precum delicious. Felicia lowers herself to lick his shaft up and down, her drool trickling down his shaft.

Miguel groans, head falling back against his shoulders as the two of you lap at his cock. You hum, tongue swirling around his fat tip before wrapping your lips around it to suck. A spurt of precum shoots into your mouth which you happily swallow, peering up at the hero through your wet lashes. He’s trembling, the pleasure insanely good for him.

Both you and Felicia sloppily attach his cock with lips and tongues, making him tremble and moan. Pleasure crashes through his body. The muscles in his thighs ripple with every movement he makes. He grits his teeth, head shaking from side to side, a throaty whimper escaping his thick lips. For a moment, he takes in the sight of the beautiful girls in front of him.

Sweat makes Felicia’s almost white hair stick to the sides of her head and he pushes the strands out of the way, allowing her hair to fall down her back. Her skin is flushed red and covered in sweat, her plump ass high in the air as she slobbers all over his cock. Miguel rubs his knuckles against your cheek, red eyes staring into you as you go back to give his leaking tip special attention. He came here to deal with Felicia’s antics and ended up getting his cock sucked on by what he considers to be the world’s most beautiful women.

How did he end up being so lucky?

Felicia grazes her teeth along his shaft, teeth tracing the outline of his pulsing veins. She plants kisses on his cock, green eyes peering up to try to see his expressions. His brows are curled upwards, eyes beginning to roll to the back of his head. His tongue pokes out of the corner of his lips, spit trickling out and down his chin.

“Fuck, y-you girls are doing such a good fucking job,” Miguel moaned, claws digging into the wood.

His praises spur you on. You suck a couple of times on his tip before taking him into the warmth of your wet mouth, hollowing your cheeks. This elicits a loud groan from the hero, your clit throbbing in desire. You attempt to reach down to rub yourself until you realize you hadn’t touched Felicia. Not once. You kissed her and played with her breasts, but you didn’t give her pussy any of your attention. You gain the courage to snake your hand between her thick thighs and rub at her bundle of nerves.

Felicia moans against his cock, pressing her nose along the shaft. Her green eyes peer over at you in approval, licking her lips. “Hmm, feels good, Mousie. Keep—ah!—rubbing me like that. Fuck, such a good girl.”

Her own hand sneaks between your thighs to shove two fingers into your hole as she returns her focus back to the massive cock in front of her. You moan around Miguel’s tips, slowly grinding your hips down on Felicia’s fingers as they pump in and out of your velvety essence. Her thumb rubs your clit as she fingers you, creating more pleasure.

Miguel watches as his two girls pleasure each other as they pleasure him and he growls, licking his lips in pure glee. Fuck, this sight is delicious and it’s all for him.

Felicia lowers her head to lick his balls, swallowing one into her mouth. Her free hand massages the other testicle, her thumb massaging his taint.

“Fuck!” Miguel moaned out, biting down on his bottom lip.

You bob your head up and down on his cock, eyes shut as you suck him off. Your body trembles in pleasure and desire as you slobber all of his cock, your cunt spilling sweet nectar. You pick up the pace of your fingers, rubbing Felicia’s clit quickly. She moans around his balls, staring at you with such an intensity that you swear she was rutting her pussy against yours. A mixture of precum and spit spills past your lips and down his shaft, which you use as an opportunity to wrap your hand around his girth and stroke him. You twist your hand with each stroke, making the hero tremble beneath your touch.

“Just like that, Mousie,” he growled, eyes rolling to the back of his head. “I’m going to fuck you so good after this. Going to show you a world of pleasure.” He whimpers when Felicia takes both of his balls into his mouth. “And you, kitty, are going to sit on my face. I want both of you cumming all over me.”

“What do you think?” Felicia asks you, licking over his balls. “Should we give him what he wants? Or should we make him beg?”

You come off his cock with a wet pop to say, “Make him beg. I-I want to hear him beg.” You scoop up some of Felicia’s arousal and lick your fingers clean, the other woman doing the same thing.

Miguel lifts his head up, seeing the mischievous looks on both yours and Felicia’s beautiful faces. “Y-You can’t be serious.”

Felicia presses her cheek against yours, smiling innocently. “Oh, Spidey, but we are. I mean, if you want us to ride you, then you’re going to beg for it like the little bitch you are.”

One thing about Miguel: he’s arrogant and prideful. He has always been this way. Dominating at work and in bed. There’s no way he’ll beg to be pleased.

“Please, please let me fuck you two.” Oh, nevermind. “Felicia, I want to bury my face into that fat pussy of yours. I want to taste you again.” He grabs her by the chin and brings her up to his face, kissing her passionately. Her hands rest on his thick thighs, breasts rubbing against him. He then grabs you by the throat and brings you up to his face as well, removing his lips from Felicia’s to place them on yours. “Hmm, little Mousie, I want to feel your tight pussy on my cock. I want you to struggle to take me in at first and then go crazy. Please, you think you can do that? Please?”

Something about a big, buff man begging is such a turn on. You lick his lips, humming. “I think we can. Should we, Felicia? I mean, he did beg like a little whiney bitch like you wanted.” Miguel squeezed your ass cheek for that and you whimpered, pressing your forehead against his shoulder. But hey, no regrets.

“He earned it. Besides,” she began, shoving him down to the ground and hovering her cunt above his mouth, “he eats pussy as if his life depends on it.” She then looks over her shoulder, nodding towards his cock. “Take your time with him. When I first rode him, I struggled a bit. But after you ride the bull, you’re going to want to go for another spin.”

Miguel grabs Felicia’s hips and shoves her cunt into his face, taking a whiff before licking her hole. Felicia moans, her sounds of pleasure airy and high pitched. He keeps a firm grip on her rounded hips, his large tongue rubbing against her bud. He groans deeply, lapping up her secretions. The last time he and Felicia had any kind of sex was two years ago. Two years too fucking long.

As Miguel devours her pussy, you place your knees on either side of his hips and grab his spit covered cock, gulping. His cock is insanely massive. You don’t think you’ve ever had anything this big. But, as Felicia said, take your time.

It’s time to take on the beast. You rub the tip against your slit, electricity shooting up your spine. Fuck, this is going to hurt, isn’t it? The tip is already stretching you out and you haven’t slid onto him fully. With a deep breath, you begin to sink down on his cock.

Oh my.

He’s got a fucking monster cock.

Your head falls back on your shoulders as you cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure, hips trembling violently. You further slide down his cock, mouth dropping agape by how full you feel. He’s stretching you out well, a bulge appearing in your lower stomach. His veins pulse within your gummy walls and his tip slides past the spongey spot within you.

Miguel’s thighs tighten when your walls continuously squeeze around his cock, milking precum out of him. Felicia lowers herself, hands on the floor as he eats her out. She grinds her pussy against his face, moaning out a series of ‘yes! yes!’ and ‘fuck, just like that, Spidey!’. Hearing her moans makes your pussy clench tighter around his cock and he has to pull away from her cunt.

“Mousie, please, stay still or relax,” he groaned out, his body trembling. “You’re going to make me cum.”

You’re not fully down on him yet, but you nod, freezing your body to allow him to calm down. You breathe in and out, chest heaving. Your cheeks burn in heat, sweat sliding down the sides of your face. His cock feels delicious inside of you and as you relax, your walls loosen, spikes of overwhelming pleasure attacking your inner core.

“Mm, I-I want to ride you now, Miguel,” you whine, growing impatient.

“Go ahead, you got the green light to continue,” Miguel said, returning to eat out Felicia.

With that, you finish sinking down on his cock, bouncing a bit when his tip pokes the entrace of your cervix. You take a moment to adjust before rocking your hips in fluid motions, moaning loudly. His cock rubs against your velvet walls delectably, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Gushes of elixir spill out of your pussy with every bounce, skin slapping against skin. Streaks of white cream are left on his shaft with every pump.

Miguel O’Hara is having the time of his life. Eating out Felicia’s yummy pussy while your delicious pussy engulfs him in warmth. He’s so happy he decided to respond to her silly antics. If he hadn’t, it would’ve been another lonely night on his couch instead of fucking two beautiful women.

“Fuck, Miguel, g-gonna cum,” Felicia moaned, suffocating him within her thighs—just how he likes it.

“Ah! Ah! Miguel! Your cock feels soo good!” you scream, bouncing on his cock faster and faster, the coil from earlier returning. “Fuck! Ima cum! GOD!”

Miguel begins to thrust up into you, hips meeting hips. He wants the two of you to cum at the same time. Wants to be drenched in fluids.

Moments later, just as he dreamed, both you and Felicia orgasam all over him. You lean against Felicia’s back, gasping for air. Felicia removes herself from his face, sitting down.

“I think…me and Mousie should switch, right?”

“Oh fuck yeah.”

“I-I’m down for it,” you breathe. You remove yourself off his cock and sit on his stomach, shivering as his cum slips out of your slit and leaks onto his stomach. “But may I have a moment? Because fuck, that was amazing.”

The three of you take a moment to come down for your highs and recover. Then, Miguel is burying his face into your pussy, Felicia sinking down on his cock and bouncing. For the rest of the night, the three of you do a crazy amount of positions, fucking like wild animals. Sometimes, the three of you will either focus on one another or all pleasure each other at the same time.

Thank God for the online banking app not for not working, otherwise you never would’ve found yourself sandwiched between the hottest people in the multiverse.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

The Twin Flame - Invisible String (Infinity War/Endgame Version)

"Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire, chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons. One single thread of gold tied me to you..."

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes The Twin Flame Chapter List | The Grumpy x Sunshine Universe

"How do you do it?"

Steve looks up from the blank page he'd stared at for the better part of an hour. With Sam and Natasha gone to replenish supplies, it's just you and Steve in some derelict motel room. It's been almost a year on the run. You have no idea where you are. No idea what you're doing. You're not even really sure how you ended up here. And in spite of all of that, Steve still holds his head up high. He's still calm, collected. You've all lost everything and he takes it in stride.

You can see it weighing on him. And at the same time, it doesn't. He still believes that the world is good, still fights for the things he believes in with everything he has. He offers you a tight smile. "You know, I was just about to ask you the same thing."

You look at him strangely, a huff of a laugh leaving your mouth. "I'm not doing anything. I'm just... here."

He vehemently shakes his head, repeatedly tapping his pen on the notepad, "You don't give yourself enough credit. What you did... it was really brave. And I know it was hard for you."

"I'd do it again if I had to." You shrug. "Except for the Tony shooting me part. I wouldn't do that again."

"You just did it again," Steve points out.

"What?"

"Made everything feel brighter."

"A joke will do that," you easily reply.

He shakes his head. "It wasn't the joke."

You softly smile. "Thanks, Steve."

"I know this wasn't what we planned, but I really do believe it'll all work itself out."

You anxiously twist your fingers as you try to broach a topic you'd thought about relentlessly. You could see your friends losing themselves. You knew it because so were you.

Some days, you all looked so tired, so weathered from a year of constantly moving and fighting. Some days, you were all so angry, with each other, with the circumstances. On those days, the wind could blow in the wrong direction and it would set off an entire day of yelling and bickering with each other.

You saw less and less of Sam's signature goofy grin with each passing day. Nat was getting more anxious, more paranoid with every glance over her shoulder. Wanda had confided in you her desire to not come back from her trips with Vision and with each trip, you grew less and less sure that she'd come back. It seemed like every day was a new breaking point.

"There are ways we could end this. Without giving up Bucky. You'd get to go home. Figure things out with the team," you hesitantly broach.

"Like by signing the Accords?" Steve chortles, resting the notebook on the table.

"I don't think there's a person in the world that could get you to sign the Accords," you chuckle. "But...you could cut a deal."

He snorts. "It'd have to be one hell of a deal." He thinks over your words for a moment and it occurs to him that you didn't say 'we' when you talked about going home. It takes a moment for the realization to settle in. For your offer to fully sink in. "You can't be serious."

"Just think about it."

His entire face furrows with anger. "No! I won't think about it. And you shouldn't either."

You reach over the table to grasp Steve's hand. You look at him with an expression that begs him to really think about your situation realistically, "They were never going to let me go, Steve. You know that. Even if we all make it back, they'll find something, if it's not this, it'll be something else. You know they will. And I - I can't run the rest of my life, but you guys, you guys could go back home. Enjoy your lives."

Steve gently squeezes your hand, dropping it after a moment, "And what do you think Sam would say if he heard you right now? If he heard you offering up your life so we could go back? Do you honestly think he'd ever agree to a deal that locked you away for good?"

You open your mouth, only to close it again when you find yourself unable to respond to Steve's questions. Instead, you offer, "Sam would have his family back. He'd understand."

"I don't think he would. I don't think he'd ever forgive me. Or you. And even if he could, that's not a deal any of us are ever going to make."

"Four lives for one isn't a bad deal." 

"No matter what anyone else says, you are not some pawn. You're not a bargaining chip," Steve enunciates. "You're a person. We come home together or not at all."

"And if we can't?"

"Then we fight. Together. Just like always."

You slump back down in your seat. You shake your head at Steve's unfailing moral beliefs. You admired that about him, how he always seemed so sure of himself, how he could always tell right from wrong. You found yourself losing touch with that part of yourself lately. You acquiesce with a sigh, "How do you do it?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. You - you bend when you can, snap when you have to."

-

"Something's wrong."

You look over at Sam, concern weighing his face down, "What?"

“They’re gonna need help. Stay here," he orders. "Keep them out.”

“But I could help.”

“And you are. The best offense is a good defense.”

"Sam!" you call after him as he takes to the sky. "...And he's gone. Sure, I'll just stay here all alone, fighting aliens all by myself. That's definitely more safe. And now, I'm just talking to myself."

"Hey," Bucky calls, his eyes having caught you standing here fighting all alone from across the field. "What are you doing all the way over here?"

You dodge a fist that flies at your face, "Being bossed around by Sam. Trying not to die mostly. You?"

"The same. Fighting a bunch of aliens that want to kill us." 

"Behind you!' you scream out. Before he has a chance to react, the alien descends on him. There is no thought as a vine rips out of the ground, whipping around the alien's leg and dragging him away from Bucky.

He forcefully exhales, his eyes blown wide, "Thanks."

"Anytime." You smile up at him. "And totally not a big deal, but do you always strike up conversations when you're fighting?"

A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, "Do you always listen to what Sam tells you to do?"

"Only when the world is ending."

"Same here."

Suddenly, a flash of lighting emerges from the sky.

"Oh, you guys are so screwed!" Bruce triumphantly laughs. 

"Thor?" you call out. 

“Rainbow Sunshine!” Thor beams.

You smile, still slightly winded by the fight, "It's good to see you."

"I am Groot," a voice grumbles out from behind Thor. 

“Oh, right, this is my friend, Tree,” Thor introduces, gesturing to the tall tree standing behind him.

“I am Groot,” Groot objects.

You gesture to yourself, “And I am Rainbow Sunshine, sometimes just Sunshine. And depending on who you ask, also Pinkie Pie.”

-

“Sam,” you call, stumbling through the forest. 

“Over here,” he panickedly shouts back. 

“Hey, Sam,” you shakily exhale, finally in Sam’s line of sight. You stop a few feet away from him, a strange, distant look on your face as you stumble. He catches you before you hit the ground. “Sam, I don’t - I don’t feel so good.”

His breath catches in his throat when he sees your hand start to dust, little particles floating away in the air. “No!”

“Awww,” you groan, looking down at your hand slowly disappearing. “Why is it always me?”

And then you were gone. Right before Sam’s eyes. 

And though you'd just witnessed yourself disintegrate into dust, in the blink of an eye, you were back. Completely fine. Standing in the forest in Wakanda like nothing had ever happened.

"Oh my God," you start, watching Sam with the same bewildered expression standing right in front of you. "We're dead! We're dead! We're dead, aren't we? We survived, but we're dead!"

"You're not dead," a voice calls from behind you. "It's been five years, and your friends need you now."

"Five years?" you jolt, whirling around to face the unfamiliar voice. 

"There isn't time to explain. Your friends need you," Dr. Strange repeats. "Thanos has returned."

"Returned?" you squawk. "When did he leave?"

"Sometime in the last five years, I'm guessing," Sam sarcastically remarks. 

You put your hands on your hips, looking over to Sam, "Aww... we gotta go fight again."

"So I've heard," Sam scoffs.

You politely raise a hand. Dr. Strange quirks an eyebrow at you as you pant with a hand resting on your knee. "Is there time for a water break?"

"No."

-

"Sunshine," Steve calls, waving you over.

"Sunshine?" Bucky repeats, a slight disdain and question in his words. 

Steve dismissively shrugs. "It suits her."

"It's a ridiculous nickname," Bucky disagrees. 

You're in the middle of a conversation with Sam on the other side of the jet, you hold out your finger to Steve and Bucky telling them to give you a minute. 

"It just works. She's such a warm person. A freaking goofball. Especially after everything she's gone through, it suits her," Steve repeats. 

"Everything she's gone through?" Bucky cautiously questions. 

"That's a story for a different day, Buck."

Before Bucky can probe anymore, you make your way over to the two of them. 

"How can I help my Star Spangled friend and - " you stop, clicking your teeth together as you look at Bucky for a moment too long. You narrow your eyes at Bucky, rocking back and forth on your heels. For a second, he thinks you're scared, hesitant because he did just try to kill you at one point. "Nope, sorry, I don't have a nickname for you yet."

Bucky's eyebrows furrow and in spite of his best efforts, a small chuckle bubbles out of his mouth.

"Told you, Sunshine," Steve repeats, a warm smile on his face. 

"It's a ridiculous nickname," you playfully complain, taking a seat in between the two super soldiers. As the words leave your mouth, you lightly punch Steve's arm. "I've told you that a million times."

"You love it," Steve scoffs, throwing his heavy arm around your shoulders.

From underneath Steve's arm, you look up at Bucky with a wide grin, "Don't listen to him, it's ridiculous."

-

"So Sunshine?" Bucky gruffly chuckles, repeating Steve's nickname for you. "Very fitting alter-ego."

You laugh, rolling your eyes at him. "It's not an alter ego, just a nickname that Steve won't let go."

"Ah," Bucky nods. "So what is the alter ego?"

"I don't have one. It used to be 'The Asset' but now," you sigh. "Now, I guess I'm just me."

"The Asset?"

You do a lazy two-finger salute, nodding your head once. "SHIELD owned and sanctioned."

Bucky finds himself at a loss for words. Partly because it really does sound terrible. But mostly because he knows exactly how it feels to be reduced to nothing more than a piece of property. "That's... shitty."

"Yeah," you agree, twisting your mouth as though you've just accepted your situation as was is, like you've resigned yourself to the knowledge that it's what you are and will continue you be. Before Bucky can say anything else, ask anymore prying questions, you nudge your shoulder with his, the first time anyone's initiated physical contact with him in a very, very long time, "But just between the two of us, you can't trust people who give themselves super-hero names. Especially bad super-hero names."

"Good advice."

"You know, you're not that bad when you're not trying to kill me," you tease, your voice just above a whisper as both Sam and Steve snore from across the Quinjet. 

He rolls his eyes with a huff of amusement. "Thanks."

"And you know what else? I've decided on your nickname," you gleefully tell him. 

"Do I even want to know?"

"I'm going to call you James."

His eyebrows furrow as the smile he so desperately tried to keep at bay finally surfaces. "You know, I hate to burst your bubble, but that's my real name."

"But everyone calls you Bucky, so it'll be my nickname for you." You gently nudge his shoulder with yours. Bucky is more than a little shocked at the physical contact. It was even more surprising than when you plopped yourself down in the seat beside him when there were plenty of other open seat. You sat by him, of your own volition. You were joking with him, laughing with him, teasing him. And you'd given him nickname, even if it was his real name. "It'll be our own little secret."

And he's not really sure why, but the idea of having his own personal secret with you left a strange, warm fluttering sensation in the pit of his stomach. The feeling wasn't familiar to him. And there was a big part of him that was terrified of it. An even bigger part that relished in it.

The rational side of him knew that a few conversations and laughs didn't mean anything. Steve had told him, you were here because Sam was here.

You were just being nice.

And he was seeing things that weren't there. 

-

Weeks had passed since the battle was won. There was no morning glory. There was no air of victorious excitement. It was quiet. Weeks of intense contemplation.

And yet, Bucky watched you hold your head high. You never let anyone see you waver. It was always the moments that he catches you off guard when he realizes you're as hurt as anyone else. Of course you are, he scolds himself. You just lost so many friends after being gone for five years.

In the days since the battle, a sort of comfort settled between the two of you. You were so honest with him.

You tell him about your own struggles. About yourself. You tell him story after story. You hold out your hand to him and he's more than happy to take it. Every night, he finds you up. Wandering the cabin like him. After everyone else has gone to bed. You two shared hushed laughter, whispered tales, and you share so much. With him. With him of all people. 

He still can't figure out why. He doesn't know why you trust him when no one else does. You have no qualms of resting your head on his shoulder, of holding his hand. 

It's too much and not enough all at once. 

And now, it was finally the day that this nightmare of a chapter would finally close. Steve would put back the stones and it would all be over.

He watches you for a moment. You sit on the porch landing. On the second to last step, holding a bright yellow sunflower in hand. You sit there pensively picking flower petals off the stem as you all await Steve.

He's never the first to approach you, he's never the first to approach anyone anymore. He does so hesitantly, careful to show you that he means no harm. "You okay?"

Your eyes flick up to him and with a warm half smile, you shrug, "Define okay."

He chortles, taking a seat beside you. "Guess that's fair."

"I'm fine," you assure him. "Just a lot to process, you know?"

He's heard you tell stories about them both. Before everything went to hell, you all sounded close, like a family. "I'm sorry about Natasha and Tony."

"Just wish I could've apologized," you remorsefully admit. "Or at least said goodbye."

"Yeah," he sighs, knowing there's nothing that he can say to take that pain away.

You shrug, trying to let the grief that now clings to your skin like tar just roll off your back. Normally, you could pretend, but pretending felt so hard, so much harder than you ever could've prepared for. "Now, we just move forward. Live life to the fullest, that kinda thing."

"Gotta recoup those five years?" Bucky snickers.

You snap your fingers, pointing at him, "Exactly!"

"So what are your big plans?"

You point at him again, this time with a pursed, but genuine, smile. "I haven't gotten that far yet."

A laugh bubbles out of his mouth. "Just let me know when you do find out."

"I will." The silence remains for a moment. Though the grief is suffocating, you find a lightness beside Bucky. Every night, sleep evaded, you wander the cabin halls in hopes of finding him, in hopes of feeling the lightness once more. And every night, without fail, he's there. Sometimes, he hardly says anything. Some nights, it's only wordless nods, but he's always listening. There's something so incredibly comforting in his presence, something that feels like coming home for the first time ever. It feels like you can breathe again. He makes it all bearable. "What about you? Any big plans?"

"Honestly? I'm trying not to think about it too much."

"I think something good has to come from all of this," you meekly offer. "We turn the bad into something good."

It was the only solace you could find. Something good had to come from the blood spilt, from the lives lost. Something good would come of it. A new beginning, living your life to honor those fallen.

Something.

Anything.

He snorts, rolling his eyes, "And how do you suppose that?"

"Well, after all of that, it has to be for something. Some greater good. Some grand scheme."

"And if it's not?"

"I refuse to accept that," you confidently declare. "Something good has to come from everything. We just don't know what that good is. Just because we can't see it doesn't mean it's not there."

He opens his mouth to refute you, but decides against. He finds that he doesn't really want to be the reason you can't or won't see good in the world. Though he can barely admit it to himself, he finds himself enamored with your sweet disposition and wide eyed gaze. "Whatever you have to tell yourself."

You nod appreciatively. "Thank you."

He nudges his chin toward the flower in your hand. "So what's the verdict? Loves or loves not?"

You take a large gulp of air, a chuckle leaving as you exhale. You knew the game he was talking about. You're pretty sure you saw it in a movie once. You weren't playing a game of loves or loves not, but you find it incredibly endearing that he thinks you were."I was actually just killing time because I don't know how to work my new phone, but I think it's really sweet that there's a hopeless romantic beneath all that brooding."

"What will it take for you to forget that I said that?" he jokingly bargains.

"Oh, no, I can't just forget that. I knew it," you tease, nudging your shoulder against his. "I knew there was a softie deep down inside."

"Ha," he sarcastically chuckles.

"Deep, deep, deep, deep down, I knew it. One big teddy bear. Called it!"

"No."

"Yes!" you laugh, poking his shoulder with the stem of the flower.

"No."

"Yes!" you boisterously laugh, about to run the remaining petals of the flower over his cheek.

In one deft movement, he reaches over to take the bare stem from your hand. You move your hand further away, trying to pull it out of his reach. His hand successfully catches yours. You both look up, and in that same movement, he ends up mere centimeters away from your face.

The humor instantly drains from the movement.

And all you can focus on is how close he is to you. You can feel his breath dusting across your face.

Against all his better judgement, he moves forward. Out of focus, eye-to-eye, it's almost like the gravity is too much and it's propelling him forward.

At the incremental movement, the anticipation becomes too much and you take small intake of breath.

The moment your breath hitches, it's like Bucky is snapped out of his daze. He abruptly pulls away, clearing his throat, "We should - we should get back."

It feels like ice-cold water has been poured over whatever spark you thought was there.

You try to ignore the sting of his rejection, instead reminding yourself that it shouldn't even matter in comparison to everything else happening. You swallow all of the emotions that threaten to overwhelm you, slightly nodding your head and jutting your thumb towards the cabin. "Yeah, Sam's probably looking for me."

He briskly stands up, letting the flower along with its remaining petals fall to the ground. You look at the flower on the ground, its petals mangled, stem snapped, trampled beneath his feet like nothing.

And he walks away without a word. He leaves you there, wondering what you did wrong, wondering why you were so easy to leave behind.

He just leaves you out there, standing crestfallen on the landing.

-

"What do you mean you it's not working? Bring him back!" Sam frantically demands. 

"I'm trying!" Bruce insists, his hands smashing over buttons as he tries to figure out how to bring back Steve.

"Guys," you softly call, nudging your head over to the man suddenly sitting at the edge of the lake. "Look. Is that-?"

Sam takes a step forward, craning his neck to get a better look at the unfamiliar man. "Steve?"

Sam's the first one to regain the ability to react. Though he moves slow with a pit of lead now sitting in his stomach, Sam slowly inches his way over to the bench where Steve sits.

While he walks over, you remain standing by Bucky. 

You find yourself reaching for Bucky's hand, lightly squeezing it while he watches Sam finally reach Steve. "Are you okay?"

He takes a moment to relish in the warmth of your fingers radiating throughout his entire hand. All from one simple, fleeting touch. For the singular moment he allows you to hold his hand, you feel a glimmer of hope that maybe he wasn't leaving you behind. Before you can breathe your sigh of relief, he tugs his hand back, indifferently muttering, "Fine."

"Listen," you hesitantly start, feeling dread wash over you all over again. "About earlier-"

"Don't worry about it. It was nothing."

If you didn't know any better, you would have sworn that you could feel your stitched up heart being torn to shreds. You softly exhale, "What?"

He kept his eyes on the lake in front of the two of you, but even from his peripheral he could say your face slowly drop. He steels his resolve, telling himself that he's just seeing what he wants to see. It's not what it looks like. Your heart isn't shattering right before his very eyes. The words taste bitter, but he's used to bitter. He's used to hard truths and crushing fates. And he wasn't willing to drag you down with him. "It was nothing."

He can't pretend he doesn't hear the small sharp inhale that leaves your mouth. You clear your throat, pulling on a smile a moment later. "Right. Just wanted to make sure we were okay.... Are we?"

"Well, I'm fine," he curtly states. 

He knows you'll hear the absence of the 'we'.

"Listen, James, if this is about earlier, I'm - I'm sorry, I just, I-" you start, fumbling for the right words to keep him from leaving you. You're not sure you could take it. You're not ready to utter yet another goodbye. The words clumsily fall out of your mouth as you desperately try to figure out how to fix it, "You just - you mean a lot-"

"I already told you to drop it, alright? It meant nothing," he spits, more harshly than he intended. "I don't know what you think, but I'm not your charity case, so go bother someone else."

He's not even sure where the words came from, how they poured out of him without pause, but they do. Each syllable is pointed, clear and concise, there's no mistaking what he said.

And from the gut-wrenching look on your face, there's no taking it back. 

You sharply inhale like he's just punched you in the gut. Your mouth immediately snaps shut, your lips press together to hide the wince of pain that tries to form on your face. 

He wants to tell you that he's sorry. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for his casually cruel words. Sorry for leaving. He reminds himself that you deserve better than someone who can put that look on your face. 

From your peripheral, you see Sam make his way back to where the two of you stand. In a choked whisper, you murmur, "I should go talk to Steve."

He nods wordlessly as you start making your way to the older man.

As you start walking, you take several deep breaths to calm your fracturing heart. 

You're good at playing pretend, pretending like your heart had been shattered, like almost everyone in your life hadn't just left you behind. The mask is almost too easy to slip on. 

“Steve?” you ask, hesitantly broach the much older man with features so much similar to your friend. 

You know it's just denial, but you don't want to believe that Steve Rogers is standing in front of you. His gray hair and weathered face taking place of the friend that stood before you only minutes ago. 

“Hey, Sunshine,” he warmly greets, a kind smile on his face.

“Wow, even after all that the nickname sticks,” you halfheartedly chuckle.

“Yeah, guess it does.”

"So are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" you joke. Steve chuckles, shaking his head. You reach out for his hand, gently squeezing it. He finally meets your gaze, and you can feel another fracture in your heart when his distinct blue eyes find yours. It confirms that it's Steve. It's really him, and now it was time to say goodbye. Time to mourn another friend. Time for another person to leave you. It's not fair, you tell yourself, your friends have no obligation to you, no obligation to stay. Just because you couldn't move on didn't mean that everyone else couldn't get a chance to. You swallow the bitter sorrow that rises in your throat like bile, asking a simple question, “Are you happy?”

He definitively nods, staring wistfully out to the lake before you. “I am.”

You sharply inhale and then slowly exhale, “Then that’s all that matters to me.”

Steve nudges his head in the direction of the two men standing several yards away from you. “He likes you, you know?”

No, he doesn't, you internally tell yourself. Instead, you shake your head, a light snicker leaving your mouth as you try to keep the tears at bay. “Once a meddler, always a meddler.”

“It’s true. Bucky’s a little-“

“Grumpy?” you supply.

Steve chuckles,“He's rough around the edges, but he’s a good man. You two have a lot in common. Two sides of the same coin.”

"That was corny," you easily quip.

"It comes with the old age," Steve retorts. 

"Any other wise words of wisdom?" you ask, hoping he'll tell you how you can past all this loss. 

You wonder if he'll finally tell you how he does it - how he did it.

"You deserve it."

"What?"

"You deserve it," he repeats. "Peace."

"Okay, you lost me a little bit."

He shrugs. "There's more to life than the next fight. And people have a hard time accepting what they don't think they deserve, but you do. That and so much more."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Something like that," he cryptically offers.

You shakily inhale, preparing yourself for your next goodbye. You wish you would've known. You wish you could've planned what to say, so you wouldn't miss a single thing. You want to reminisce with him, for him to tell you what to do, for the answer of how you continue on like this. More than anything, you want to thank him, to tell him that he'd left a permanent mark on you. Instead of saying all of that, you rest your head on his shoulder, something you'd done so many times. The only difference is that you're so viscerally aware this time will be the last. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“Me too.”

Only allowing yourself the a short moment of tears silently trickling down your face, you stand and say your final goodbye. You wipe the tears before you walk about to where Sam and Bucky stand. 

And when you finally find the strength to finally walk away, your eyes instinctively find Bucky, only for the heartbreaking reminder to settle back in. You quickly divert your eyes, staring at the grass beneath your feet as you rejoin them.

You offer a small, tight lipped smile to the two of them.

"You okay?" Sam asks when you remain silent.

"Yeah," you nod, your eyebrows furrowed as the three of you stand amongst the shattered remnants of your family. "I'm fine."

The silence lasts for a long while. It was a terrifying thought, breaking that silence as the three of your stared out at the water before you, terrified of whatever came next.

None of you knew how right you were. 

-

After the three of you parted ways, the silence never ceased. And the two of you sat in silence, Sam only broke it as you both climbed into his car. The question was innocuous, but loaded with so many unknowns, "So now what?"

"I have no idea," you slowly exhale.

You both decided to start at the Compound. You already knew it was mostly destroyed, but a big part of you wanted to believe that something had to have survived the battle. And maybe that was just foolish, naive hope, but you pulled up to the Compound in Sam's car with a heart full of hope.

It was stupid in the grand scheme of things. You knew it was. It still didn’t make it hurt any less.

The place you called home.

The magnificent and awe-inspiring Avengers Compound. Reduced to rubble.

Still, you stumbled through the ash, debris, and searched with a bright smile and your head held high.

Most was unidentifiable. But from what you could identify, you were able to find your old room. And it hurts even more.

The room painstakingly decorated with Nat and Wanda. Days the three of you spent laughing, teasing each other, all reduced to nothing. The bookshelf Steve and Sam helped you find and set up for you. CDs and records you collected from all around New York.

All gone.

Though you felt the stinging sensation of tears building in your eyes, you shook them away as though it could shake away the pain of the last few days. Or years - that would probably be more accurate. 

You told yourself that it didn't matter that everything you'd ever owned was now gone. It didn't matter that you went from nothing after being rescued to a room full of cherished possessions... back to nothing. All lost in one fell swoop. It didn't matter that you were once again dropped in a society that looked completely unfamiliar.

You were on the outside. Thanos defeated. Sam was alive. Bucky was alive. And maybe your family was no longer intact, but you still had something, a good starting point.

So you and Sam decided to lay low for a few days to collect your bearings.

You didn't know that things were about to go from bad to worse. 

“Technically, it’s SHIELD housing, just off the books," Sam tells you, pulling up to a small cabin just a few miles away from the Compound. "But I figure we can lay low while we figure out our next move.”

You take solace in the way Sam speaks about you as a unit. Even though he's no longer responsible for you, he's standing by you. You walk up the steps with a heavy heart that's lightened by the people you still had in your life.

You open the side panel, clearly stating your full name to the little intercom device.

“Access denied," the monotone voice drolls.

“What?”

You shake off the startle, this time carefully speaking your name again.

“Access denied.”

"Maybe Tony put in one of his nicknames?" Sam offers, though you can tell he's grasping at straws. 

"Why don't you try?"

"Sam Wilson," Sam pointedly states. 

“Access granted.”

You sharply inhale, your shoulders stiffening. 

"It's probably just a mistake, the stupid thing's been sitting here for five years untouched," Sam assures you. You half-heartedly nod, giving Sam a tight smile in response. He can't offer any other assurances because he simply doesn't have them. The whole thing is deeply unsettling to him too. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out."

There's no bags to set down as the two of you walk through the door together. Nothing to put away. 

The cabin is old, everything covered in a thin layer of dust. You're about to ask Sam what the two of you should do when his eyes linger on a small room off to the side. You take a few steps to meet his eye-line, his eyes have settled on an old SHIELD computer tucked into the corner of the room. 

"Sam," you warn.

What you didn't want to tell him, what you already knew, was something Sam would never accept. What he's refusing to accept.

It probably didn't even have anything to do with the Snap or being gone for five years, and had everything to do with forcing you back into submission. And more than anything, you just don't want to be proved right in this moment. 

He unlocks the computer anyway. The computer casts a slight glow across the dim room, Sam is clearly nervous as he unlocks the computer with his own code and it's not long before you he's pulling up the old SHIELD database. You wait with bated breath as Sam enters his own name into the SHIELD database. There's no delay or complications as his file fills the screen. 

"Just so we know it's working," he quietly explains. 

You slowly exhale as he types your name with a painstaking hesitancy. What neither of you say is that you're both already certain you have the answer. All Sam was doing was confirming what you both already knew. He hits the enter button with a sharp jab of his finger.

And all that appears is a small error message: Personnel Not Found.

You sharply inhale.

Now, you’d never claim to be the smartest of the bunch, but you knew in the depths of your bones what this meant: you’d been erased.

And now, you were officially back at square one. 

Sam's eyebrows furrow, but he doesn't stop typing, trying dozens of combinations of your name. First name, last name. Last name, first name. Silly aliases that you'd made up while on the run. Typing the ID number SHIELD gave you. 

None of it works.

The clicking sounds of Sam's typing become more frantic, more desperate as he refuses to accept what's happening to you.

You place your hand on his shoulder, prompting him to stop his typing.  For the second time in one day, tears burn at your eyes. This time you don't keep them from falling.

Now, you were gone. A person who never would be and never was. It was a gut punch you never thought you'd have to feel again. Something you didn't think you'd ever lose again. And most of all, you don't want to do this to Sam again. 

You remembered how hard he had to fight the last time, how much hell SHIELD put him through, and even worse was when SHIELD fell and no one knew what to do with you. But through all of that, at least you had yourself. And now they'd taken that from you too.

You decide in that moment that you can't put him through this again.

You squeeze his shoulder once. A silent apology to him for whatever comes next. "It's fine, Sam."

"No, it's not fine-"

You drop your hand from his shoulder. A melancholy settles over the room as you both come to the crushing conclusion that things really would never be the same. "Just leave it, Sam."

"But-"

"We'll figure out where we go from here tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," he agrees with a sharp nod.

You were the one that made sure tomorrow never came.

-

"I'm telling you, I'm going to do it," you promise, laughing as the two of you sit on his sister's porch.

"But why?" Sam laughs, standing up in a huff to re-activate the motion lights. 

Even though he knows he shouldn't be encouraging you, there's a pretty big part of him that thinks it's absolutely hilarious too. People just wouldn't stop with the questions about Steve Rogers. They wouldn't accept what was without some grand tale or some dramatic retelling. And as people who both knew Steve, it was emotionally draining.

"Why not?" you counter. "Maybe they'll finally leave us alone about it. Think about it: Steve Rogers is really living underground, protecting us from the mole people."

"Mole people?" Sam sputters out laughing as the timed light turns off again.

"Or- Or!" you bounce up off the stairs with unbridled excitement. "We could tell people he's on the Moon!"

The lights turn back on, but you still remain standing with your drink sloshing around in your hand. He tries to maintain his voice of a reason tone, but he finds himself smiling at his friend dramatically gesturing as you tell him all about the intricate stories you'll make up about Steve. "Who would believe that?" 

"Who wouldn't? An alien literally wiped out half the planet five years ago. And then we just show back up!" you exclaim, half your drink spilling onto the grass as you wave your arms around, gesturing to the world around you. "The world's a crazy place!"

"The Moon," Sam repeats, rolling his eyes with another laugh. 

-

"Sam? You busy?" you meekly ask, shuffling into the kitchen.

"Mhh..." he hums, rummaging through one of the kitchen cabinets. "Just looking for this old family recipe. My mom made the best Christmas cookies, and I know she had the recipe around here somewhere. What's up?"

You dismissively wave your hand. "No, you're busy. We can talk later."

"No, no, it's fine. Come on, what's going on?"

"I think..." You have to stop to swallow the lump in your throat, mustering all your courage and nerve to say the words that you know will irrevocably change your friendship with Sam. But it's for the best, you tell yourself, Sam will be better off. "I think I have to go."

"I already told you, we can go Christmas shopping later. It's not a big deal, tons of people do their shopping last minute. No one can tell the difference."

"No, Sam," you object, this time a little more forcefully insistent. Simply at your tone, his head jolts upward, the smile falling from his face morphing into a concerned and confused expression. "I think I need to leave."

"Leave?" he echoes. "Leave where?"

"I need answers, Sam. Real answers."

"Well, hold on a minute, I'll go with you! We can go right after the holidays. The both of us-"

"No, no," you interrupt him. "Don't do that. Sarah, AJ, and Cass, you can't just leave them. You just came back."

"We both just came back," he corrects. "But you were so excited about the holidays, and now you want to take off? I don't- I don't get it. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Sam, I just - I have to do this. Besides, I already talked to Joaquin, and he's not going home for the holidays this year, so he said he'd help me."

His back straightens, no longer leaning against the counter. Logically, he knew the sense of betrayal lodged in his throat was irrational. After all, you were talking to him about it. But it hurts, it stings, knowing that you went to someone else for help instead of him. It aches that you've suddenly decided to leave without him, to leave him entirely. This throat tightens from the emotional whiplash and the faint ache of what feels like a betrayal. "You talked to Torres before you talked to me?" 

"Yeah," you exhale, your eyes downcast. "I did."

That night was a quiet one. The Christmas music that previously filled the house was more faint, the twinkling lights more dim.

You left your bedroom door open as you carefully folded each of the few articles of clothing you still owned. The open door taunted Sam, partly a silent plea for him to talk to you, partly a painful reminder of the friend he was about to lose if he didn't give you your space. 

The quiet bled into the drive to the airport the very next day. For the first time in your entire friendship, neither of you knew what to say. The silence felt suffocating, crushing.

A breath remained in the back of his throat, ready to voice unspoken words at a moment's notice.

From the driver's seat, he could see the furrow in your eyebrows, the tension you carried in your shoulders, telling him you had your own unspoken words that you desperately wanted to voice.

Neither of you did.

It was only when he drove up to the terminal that the heaviness subsided enough to sustain spoken words.

"Promise me you'll be careful. Recon only. You know-" he starts, feeling the desperate urge to remind you what dangers lurk around the corner. 

The worries echoing in his head are almost enough to get him to ask you to stay. He doesn't.

"I know, I know. I promise I'll be careful."

He wants to offer to go with you, to tell you that you don't have to do this alone. Instead, he pulls your duffle bag from the trunk of his car. He extends it out to you, but pulls it out of your reach to give him the chance to issue another promise, "And you'll call me? Keep me posted?"

"I'll call," you repeat, carefully avoiding the word 'promise'. 

His throat starts tightening, the goodbye hitting him like a ton of bricks. "If you need anything, anything..."

You weakly smile to keep your bottom lip from quivering, "I know."

He throws his arms around you. You allow your small duffle bag to hit the floor as you wrap your arms around him, "I'm going to miss you."

"Miss you too," you mumble into his shoulder. 

The Twin Flame Chapter List The Grumpy x Sunshine Universe Bucky Barnes Masterlist

And finally, dear readers, this story comes to a close. Thank you guys so much, I love you all. 💛

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[azullumi]

wanderer — unspoken confessions ☆彡

summary — you're drunk and drinking and he's looking for you; unspoken confessions and you two wished the other knew the feelings being held.

pairing — wanderer/gender-neutral reader

tags — fluff, secret pining or yearning, friends but wishes to be more than that, drunk reader and wanderer is there to take them home so they're safe; oneshot

word count — 1500+

a/n — i ended up being busy for today so i had to rush this one. i was going for a drunken confessions route but here i am, i just thought this one was better. anyways, happiest birthday to the most prettiest, beautiful, wonderful, amazing, magnificent, alluring, fair, fascinating babiest baby girl of them all baby girls!! <33

he wanders throughout the dead of the night, navigating through the darkness with only the streetlamps there to accompany and guide him to his destination. the evening comes as a lull welcome to serenity and the city was silent in its embrace except for the sound of leaves rustling, his light footsteps, and the indistinguishable chatter of the few people around.

he could feel the cold night wind gently blow against him, caressing his skin, and soothing his warmth, and he pulls his hat down, holding it to avoid it from being blown away accidentally.

it was still early in the evening so a few people, aside from mercenaries, were seen outside, taking a stroll, or talking to others—most of the citizens that weren't outside were either inside their home or in the tavern, drinking and eating, and you were also doing the latter and he was out looking for you. apparently, after consulting nahida on your whereabouts as he couldn't find you in your own home nor anywhere the whole afternoon until now, he learned that you were out drinking with a group of people you met recently.

wanderer passed by a few closed stalls before eventually arriving at the doors of the tavern with the host greeting him as he entered. there, the warm lights of the place greeted him as he stepped in and the sound of laughter was heard, unfamiliar and loud, and there he saw you. not situated far away from him, you were seated—seemingly passed out as you had your head laid on top of the table— with a bunch of people whose faces he doesn't know of.

the thought of you willingly going out and drinking with strangers pissed him off. are you really that careless and lacking in self-awareness that you'll get yourself drunk around people who you're not even familiar nor close with? and the fact that you didn't even tell him where you're going to be and what you're going to do? his expression crumpled to an irritated one.

honestly even if the two of you are just friends—deep in him, he wishes you two weren't just that no matter the amount of times he had denied the thought—, it would have been if you would tell him. no, honestly, you should because he doesn't want to go through hell and back just to look for you and even seek for the sumeru archon's help— whose assistance will always be accompanied with her own words that would send him into a spiral of realization of what he truly feels towards you along with some teasing.

he walks towards your table, stopping right in front of it and grabbing the attention of the people in it. there was the strong smell of alcohol and aroma of food that wafted to his nose, it was harsh and he doesn't like it in a bit.

"oh hello, is there anything we can help you with?" one of them asks, he looks the most sober one out of all them due to the fact that he could speak without slurring their words.

"i'll be taking this one home with me," he says, an emotionless expression plastered on his face, while pointing at you. it seems like the sound of his voice woke you up from your slumber as you slowly sat up and brought your gaze to him, meeting his stare. your face was flustered pink, your eyes drowsy, and your hair was untidy, you looked like a total mess.

"wait, we don't know—" words of protest were about to be heard coming out of the man sitting in front of you but your voice interrupted them.

"hiii, kuniii," you break out into a grin, realizing that it was him, reaching your arms out, wanting to initiate a hug or anything. your words were dragged out and he could only sigh upon witnessing the state that you are in before he leaned down, letting you wrap your arms around his neck, then picking you up in his hold. he doesn't even care about the people watching him, in fact, he even finds himself liking it.

"you're hereee, why are you here?"

"i'm here to pick your dumbass up."

"we're going home?"

"yes, so be quiet."

"okay…" you followed what he said, shutting your mouth and resting your head against his shoulders.

wanderer gazed at the group, looking at them with a cold expression, "i appreciate that you kept (name) safe, however, next time, please avoid inviting them out and having them stay up until this time."

he turns around, walking away and leaving the tavern while he was holding you and you were hugging him tightly. it seems like you have fallen asleep once again and so he intends to bring you home as soon as possible so that you'll be able to get some rest properly.

the way back to your home was silent just like when he was walking towards the tavern to fetch your drunk state. he just wouldn't be able to rest peacefully knowing that someone else, a complete stranger, took you home, especially at this defenseless state of yours. what if something bad happened to you? what if the people you were drinking with were actually horrible and you weren't able to protect yourself? what if they were kidnappers, murderers, or anything and their next victim was you?

honestly, he has no right speaking over that matter and judging them when the blood that stains his hands makes him no different from them—if they were really bad people. but still, he just couldn't handle the thought of you slipping out of his grasp even when you have never been close to him to hold his hand. it was fine admiring you from afar as long as you don't fade from his sight.

a groan snapped him out of his trance and he looked at his side, to his shoulder where your head rests in which you rise up from your very quick nap. at the same time, you two have already arrived at the foot of your home.

"where are we…?"

"at the door of your house, where's your keys?" you hum before replying to him, tapping his shoulder as you spoke, "it's okay, you can put me down now. i can handle myself."

your voice sounded so soft and based on the tone of your voice—compared to when you were slurring your words when he was greeted by you— he could tell that you were already sobering up. maybe that quick sleep and cold breeze helped you?

he did what you had asked him to do, placing you down the ground and making sure that you were already on both of your feet before releasing his hold on you, watching you take your keys and unlocking the door soon after. he plans on leaving as soon as he sees you get inside your room.

there was only silence not until you spoke, "thanks for taking me home, by the way."

"you ought to be more careful next time."

"i will, thank you once again," you turned to him as you spoke, a small smile on your face and you don't know if it's the way the moonlight shines on him that his complexion looks so soft and gentle while looking at you.

*oh, right! it's not yet midnight, right? i hope i'm not late…" there was panic in your tone as you fumbled and looked for something in the pockets of your clothes. he was about to speak, planning on asking you, but was then interrupted when you took out what you were looking for, dangling it in front of his face.

it was an amulet with a gem in the shape of a heart and there was an unknown feeling at his stomach, one that he always feels when he's around you, adoring you, or talking to you.

"it was only this morning when i learned that it was your birthday so i looked for a gift and was even thinking of just making a handmade one but i don't think i'll have enough time and then i encountered those people— the ones i was drinking with— who helped me in exchange for some drinks. i swear, i wasn't planning on staying out late and i was going to look for you right—"

you were interrupted with the sound of something short and sweet, so genuine, so low and soft that if your surroundings weren't silent right now, you wouldn't have heard it.

"…okay, that's enough. you don't have to explain everything, just be more careful next time." did he laugh? did he just let out a chuckle? a laugh? are you still drunk? maybe that's it, maybe you're still drunk and daydreaming!

you scratched the back of your neck before handing him the gift on your hand and he accepted it. in the quick moment he had his guard down, you cupped his face gently and pressed your lips against his cheek, giving him a peck.

"happy birthday, kuni. thank you for being born, thank you for being here," you whisper before parting, letting go of your hold on his cheek and you weren't looking at him, your gaze averted and away. you wanted to see his face but you were afraid of the emotion that would stain his expression so you could only look away and the reality of the situation had only dawned on you when silence only reigned.

"so uhm, yes, that's all. okay, goodnight!"

you then went inside immediately and closed the door and you wish you stayed for a little bit, you wished you could have seen the way his face flusters and his ears grow red, you wished you witnessed him fall and try to cover the blush on his cheeks as he tries to calm the butterflies that were going wild in his stomach. archons, what is he going to do with you?

his gaze remains at the amulet in his hand and his mind remains at the time when your lips had touched his skin, stuck in a single yet eternal dreamlike moment, not wanting to leave.

even with the amount of thoughts running inside his head, he could only think of you—his mind never felt like his own because it's only you that fills it, his thoughts felt like small puzzle pieces that once combined all together, it will form an image of you. he likes you so much, just like the way icarus yearns for the sun, too close, too warm, too much.

— navigation | masterlist

[royboyfanpage]

@devine-fem 's comment on my last original post, I can't believe I've never mentioned how much I love Roy Harper before, I should amend that immediately /j

I love like... everything about him. Roy Harper in the golden/silver ages? Absolute baby, I adore him. He had SO much trust in Ollie, and he was a sweetheart! He was the secretary of the Green Arrow fan club! He had a stamp collection! And even as a small child he was SO unhealthy, like my go to panel is this

Which is literally baby Roy willing to sacrifice his life to save Ollie, baby boy was going into that with FULL belief that he was going to die and he did it anyway and there's SO much I could say about that. I love Ollie, I've defended him in so many situations, but holy shit he raised a child to have issues. But little Speedy Roy was the sweetest thing!!! He wanted Ollie to pick him up ice cream!! He was just a little guy, a little fella!!

And then Snowbirds came along and obviously changed the way Roy was written, it was a major turning point for his character because it was really the comic that initially fleshed him out- before then yes obviously he did have his own distinct personality that differentiated him from the other Titans but at the same time that was VERY clearly a point in which he went from being a traditional child sidekick to being Roy. It gave him his own morals, his own struggles, and his own determination. Remember, Roy made the choice himself to get clean, he wasn't forced into it. Obviously Snowbirds has its problems, it was a PSA written in 1971, but also it was sosososososo foundational in developing who Roy is as a character.

There weren't too many comics featuring Roy between Snowbirds and Lian's birth, but they are also so interesting. I'm pretty sure it's Green Lantern (1960) #100 but also I'm rambling and I'm too drunk to fact check so I'll reblog tomorrow if I'm wrong but there's an issue where Roy goes back to Star City and you can SEE his desperation to be a hero, you can see his determination, and it's so beautifully written and in the epilogue Ollie tries to have a talk with him, tries to make amends after what happened and you'd EXPECT that Roy would take that, that it'd be water under the bridge, but Roy has his own agency and he fucking leaves!!! Because he's not ready to make up with Ollie and he has his own agency!!!

And then the second big turning point in Roy's career is when Lian is introduced, and you can SEE how much of an impact she has on him as a character! At the end of The Cheshire Contract Roy says he thinks Lian is gonna change him and he was right! She does! He goes to Ireland and meets Moira and Buttons (I think those are their names? Again, not fact checking this post) and looks after them and that's the start of his development as the "dad Titan", and he loves Lian so much!!

This panel from Rocks and Hard Places makes me SO emotional because he loves her!!! She's the most important person in his life!!! Plus his relationship with Jade is SO compelling to me, because he loves her and he'll always love her and she loves him too (even if a lot of writers have done their best to make that not the case- I love Jaderoy and I will always love Jaderoy)

And he's also generally such a good guy, I don't have the panel screenshotted and I can't remember the issue but there's that New Titans issue where Kory kills someone and she tries to justify it to Roy and he's just like "you don't need to explain it to me" and I wish his friendship was explored with her more because they had SO much potential as friends.

And then and he's SUCH a good mentor figure, like in New Titans #116 which is my go to issue for anything mentor Roy related because it's SO GOOD! He's constantly trying to wind the kids back to make sure they're okay, telling Terra II to not get too cocky, making sure Grant's okay (and the "yeah no wonder I'm in charge" panel when Grant suggests blowing Gar up is my favourite) and expressing genuine concern when Bart attacks Kyle recklessly and I WISH his relationship with Bart and Terra II had more susbstance because it's so good

Then there's the Arsenal Special which is really the comic which explains WHY he's called Arsenal!!! I've made so many posts about this comic and I love it so fucking much because he fucking takes all those guys out with only shit he can find then takes all their weapons and loads them onto himself while giving a badass monologue which, from memory, goes something like "he thinks I was was sent here to kill his daughters. Well guess what, I have a daughter too. So it all comes down to his daughters or mine. Who gets to think their daddy's a hero, or some thing that crawled out of the dirt. Get it through your head, 'cus it ain't gonna be mine". I love him. I love him so much.

Then there's Teen Titans (1996) #12-15 which I recently made a post about but it's a comic I'm SO greatful to have physical copies of because it's so fucking good for Roy stuff. There's so much on how others percieve him- I love the fab five, but they (well, the boys, Donna wasn't in it because she was mourning Robbie's death) have such a derogatory view of Roy. Like Dick's "he's good but not good enough" and Wally's view of him as not good enough to lead (which is brought up again in Titans 1999 secret files), and the constant references to Roy's addiction in that comic. Then he gets his Green Arrow inspired suit (very Red Arrow of you, late 90s) which he brings on to the Arsenal mini, and his whole fascination with the suit because his biggest dream is being good enough for Ollie, he IS way more than good enough for Ollie which was clear even from the end of Snowbirds but my boy has issues, and then Joto dies because of the explosive arrow he fires which IMO should have fucked him up more than it did but it also absolutely did fuck him up at least in that comic and in the Arsenal mini and there's probably more I could link that too but again, I'm drunk.

And then there's the Arsenal mini. Holy fuck I love the Arsenal Mini. it's so fucking good for like, all his familial relations in the Arrowfam in the late 90s. The flashbacks to Dinah and Roy during Snowbirds and Dinah's "the bravest person I ever met was the one who was flawed" speech, that panel of him resting his head on Dinah's shoulder, the fact that that entire story was fueled by his love of Lian, his talk with Connor about Ollie and how Roy never wanted to be Green Arrow he just wanted Ollie to have asked? It's so fucking beautiful and I love it. And the fact that he WAS gonna team with Vandal to save Lian, he's a father first and a hero second, but he thought about it and decided that there had to be a way to be both and he was right!!! He's so insanely good and I love him, he has a reputation of being a bad boy but he is SUCH a hero it's beautiful.

Then comes Titans '99 which I really can't do justice just talking about. He's so incredible in it it's insane. Like his father/son dynamic with Grant is so beautiful to read, he loves that boy!!! He loves that boy like he's his own flesh and blood and I will take no criticism!!! And his relationship with Donna is so painful to read in that comic because he's such a romantic and even though their relationship was gonna fail from the beginning because of the nature of it and because of Donna's reasons for it he still kept on it because he loved her!! He loves her so so much that he's willing to have his own heart broken for her and good god my boy is unwell. Plus it's the peak for Roygarth, their relationship in it is so great and their talk in issue 16 is amazing and I love it, plus Roy's genuine heartbreak at the possibility of Garth being dead just gets me. And while it's overshadowed by Outsiders, there is a lot of Dickroy potential in Titans 1999, Dick being so loving towards Lian with the "yumyumyumyum" panel in issue 1 and him generally just being one of the closest people in Roy's life, plus Roy being one of the only people who are willing to actually call Dick out on his BS and that being the thing that breaks that out of purgatory? Chefs kiss

And who would I be without mentioning Green Arrow 2001. I'm tired now so I'm not gonna talk about Archers Quest but I can't not talk about Boys Night Out because!!! He's so good in it!!! His speech to Connor that sounds SO much like a coming out acceptance speech, taking Connor to a bookshop despite his own boredom because he wants Connor to have a good time, the brotherly teasing while Connor's driving, him calling Connor out and supporting sex workers, him protecting Connor... it's the perfect issue. Anyone who hasn't, please read Green Arrow (2001) #32, it's so fucking good I promise.

And finally (and I mean finally as in I cba to talk about Red Arrow because I'm getting sleepy), Outsiders which is. So fucking good. Oh my god. Like him forming a team just to help support Dick through Donna's death, the fact that once again he's underestimated but this time Dick stands up for him, him getting shot and getting PTSD because of it (Oursiders 2003 #11 love of my life), everything that happens in this run is SO FUCKING GOOD AND I LOVE ROY HARPER!!! And for once he actually stands up for himself when he's called a junkie!!! He punches Dick in the face!!! As he fucking should king!!! And issue 45 (I think?) Is the best because it's. So good for him and Lian. His protectiveness over her, his love for her, and her being able to see when he's not okay. Beautiful outstanding and incredible.

In conclusion I LOVE Roy Harper because he's the best dad in the world, he loves everyone so much and will never stop, and he's just. Such a good person. I love him. I love him a lot.