#( spotify is being stupid for linking stuff on here )

[sharp-teeth-and-archived]

When you know, you know

It's time, it's time to go

[onigiriico]

Amane audio drama (t2) - English TL

[ links: Spotify | Youtube ]

So much religion talk in this one. So much. I typed so much stuff into DeepL my JP keyboard app crashed at some point, but! it is done at last! 🎉 As always, if you've got any questions or find a mistranslated line, you can find me on Twitter or send me an ask (and in case you've got some money to spare & feel like supporting me extra, you can also find me over on Ko-fi)! But, without further ado:

⬇️ translation under the cut ⬇️

(Es enters)

E: Prisoner no.8, Amane. It’s time for your interrogation. Let’s talk for the first time in a while.

A: Warden.

E: What is it, Prisoner?

A: We've been disappointed by you.

E: Hah?

A: Even though we could sense the possibility of the new world we desire here in Milgram… and in you.

E: I don’t care how much you look down on me. I told you that won’t work.

A: Furthermore, you may say incomprehensible things, such as us “not being forgiven”...

E: Oi.

A: But we are generous. For now, let us make some time for a conversation with you. After all, our history is one that is built on dialogue.

E: Oi. Listen to what I’m saying.

A: What is it?

E: Amane. Don’t think you’ll be able to lead the conversation with that total change in attitude. Is it the result of the judgment that you’ve ended up like this?

A: “Like this”?

E: The dazed look in your eyes. The atmosphere around you. The way you speak. In comparison to the first trial, it’s like you’re a different person.

A: Hm.

E: Everyone who was unforgiven told me they heard voices judging their sins. They’re experiencing a lot of emotional stress as a result. Were your changes influenced by that as well?

A: Hah? Those stupid voices, huh? Yeah. I have heard them as well. However, such things do not pose a major problem.

E: What?

A: We have firm teachings. We have a clear and noble faith. No matter what kinds of things other people might say, these things cannot be shaken.

E: Faith… That would be referring to the religion you believe in, right?

A: Yes. It seems like the power Milgram holds is real. Did you have a look as well? At our faith.

E: Yeah. Though it was a depiction of a fairly small group of people… I’ve judged that your murder was the result of religion – of faith.

A: It wasn’t murder. It was merely a punishment in line with our doctrine.

E: So it’s not a sin, you mean?

A: Is faith a sin?

E: Faith itself is free. I’m not religious myself, but I understand that some people might be saved by it.

A: Hm. Is that so? Are the prisoners who weren’t forgiven feeling lost right now? Maybe they need our faith as well.

E: I’d rather you spare me the missionary work inside the prison.

A: Faith is free. It exists for people who are feeling lost.

E: … We’ve digressed. So – just what are you right now? You’ve been saying “we” this whole time. Does that mean you are not Amane Momose right now?

A: Right now, I am both Amane Momose and I am not. I am speaking on behalf of our faith. I am speaking as “we”, who believe that dialogue and warnings are in order since you made the misjudgment to not forgive us.

E: So you’re saying I’m talking to the very concept of your faith right now?

A: We don’t mind you thinking of it that way.

E: Huh.

A: Well then. Let us warn you once again. Warden. You judged that Milgram couldn’t forgive us, correct?

E: Yeah, that’s right.

A: As stated previously, our actions were in line with our doctrine, and thus cannot count as sins. Thus, Milgram is in the wrong.

E: You’ve killed a person.

A: In line with our doctrine.

E: You understand that you’ve broken the law, right?

A: We’ve talked about this before. There are things more important than the law. That would be our teachings.

E: I won’t acknowledge you turning such selfish rules into a standard of judgment. I won’t allow it. End of story.

A: …

E: Both religion and faith are free. However, a doctrine can’t become a universal standard of judgment.

A: You fool. Isn’t Milgram trying to enforce a new standard of judgment precisely because laws cannot guide this world onto the right path? Are you still being weighed down by the law?

E: As someone who’s just the warden, it’s not exactly my ambition to know about Milgram’s philosophy. It’s not because it’s against the law – but as Milgram, your murder can’t be forgiven. I judged it that way. That’s all.

A: …

E: Milgram… denies your doctrine.

A: If you do not adjust your way of thinking… we, too, will never be able to forgive you.

E: Heh.

A: What’s so funny?

E: What do you mean, “we”? You’re making me laugh. What you’re doing is just plain murder – no matter whether we’re talking in general or according to religion. It’s murder.

A: …!

E: Understand that. Amane Momose. It’s not “you” (plural) who killed someone – it’s you (singular). Don’t look away from your own actions by playing pretend!

A: … Ha…haha…! - You’ve insulted us… [You’ve insulted] God…!

E: So what?

A: This is unforgivable! I won’t forgive you! (screams)

(Amane tries to strike Es, but gets stopped by the barrier)

E: I’m telling you it’s impossible for prisoners to attack the warden.

A: I won’t forgive you…! I won’t forgive you!

E: Did you get those scissors from the storage room? Were you never taught that you’re not supposed to use those on people?

A: In light of our doctrine, your insult to us is more than enough to warrant a punishment! I won’t forgive you! I won’t forgive you!

(she tries and fails to attack them again)

E: Well… it’s in vain, so you might as well just listen to me like this.

A: I won’t forgive you! I won’t forgive you!

E: Prisoners can’t attack the warden. This is one of Milgram’s core rules, though a certain guy with multiple personalities slipped past it.

A: I won’t forgive you! I won’t forgive you!

E: Which means that Milgram doesn’t decide who the prisoners are based on their body, but based on their mind. If the mind is a different one, the rule doesn’t apply. It bothers me that it has a loophole, but…

A: I’ll kill you…! I’ll kill you!!

E: Thanks to this defective rule, we’ve now confirmed this: the you holding those scissors right now isn’t a god or a concept. It’s Amane Momose herself.

A: … I’ll…!

E: So, what you’re doing right now really is just a game of pretend. This is stupid.

A: …

E: This is the head-on battle with Milgram that you wanted.

A: Shut up…!

E: What’s wrong? Have you ended up wanting to be treated like a child after all?

A: Shut up!!

E: In fact, if you ask me, the fact that you are a child has a lot to do with this matter.

A: …!

E: No matter what you do, no matter how grown-up you behave – you’re a child. That’s an unchangeable truth.

A: You’re a child, too!

E: Wrong. I’m fifteen, so I’m an adult in Puerto Rico and Haiti. You’re twelve, so you’re a child no matter the country.

A: …!!

E: Hehe. You look angry.

A: I don’t.

E: You do.

A: I don’t!

E: Well, either way is fine. In the end, there’s two main reasons as to why children get reduced sentences under the law – the possibility of reformation and the influence of the environment, I believe.

A: …

E: In this case, it’s mainly the latter. I’ve said this before – during childhood, the things that the parents teach a child have a great impact on them, and the environment one grows up in has immense influence as well. A child who is born into a very religious environment will grow up believing that those are the rules of the world.

A: What are you trying to say?

E: In other words, they will turn their faith into their entire life – feeling as if their doctrine is the whole world.

A: …

E: Previously, you objected to being considered [mentally] underdeveloped based on your age. I suppose you were right about that. Your self really is fully developed. However, that self is one that was built in a particular environment, isolated from society.

A: …

E: That’s exactly why… We have also speculated whether this really was your crime, or that of your parents – of your surroundings.

A: …!

E: But as I said before, there’s different ways these components could have worked together—

A: “We”? What’s “we”? Are you not just “I”?

E: … I…?

A: Aren’t we the same? Me and Warden-san. You know, I’m aware that I’m out of the ordinary. That my environment was peculiar, and that everyone [else] is normal.

E: Amane…

A: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.”

E: …

A: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.

E: …

A: I’m happy that I was born to my parents! It was a bit difficult, and it could feel restrictive sometimes, but I’m really happy that I could grow up on such beautiful teachings! I want to live this way!

E: Is that so…

A: You call that brainwashing, don’t you? From my perspective, you also generally oppose religion based on your personal values. Why can that be blindly trusted just because you’re more people?

E: I got what you’re trying to say.

A: It’s only natural that we, who weren’t acknowledged as a society just because we’re fewer in numbers, would view the possibility of a new world through Milgram as a dream.

E: Yeah, I’ve got it! Still, I won’t recognize your doctrine. By my standards, a doctrine that approves murder cannot be forgiven!

A: Yes. I’ve understood that.

E: Milgram is a three-trial system, though. I’ll be watching and listening to the footage from your mind for now, going into deeper depths this time… and if I feel something there, I plan on firmly accepting that.

A: Facing me head-on, is that right?

E: Yeah. That’s it.

A: If you end up deciding not to forgive me – not to forgive us –, then I will not forgive you, either.

E: Yeah.

A: Ah… no, that’s wrong. I will not forgive you (plural).

E: Wha—

(machinery whirrs, bell rings)

A: “Don’t look away from your own actions by playing pretend” – that’s my line. Warden-san, it’s not just you; it’s all of you. You all said you wouldn’t forgive us. We’re meeting each other on eye level. You all won’t be allowed to not get your hands dirty.

E: … What are you saying…?

A: What could it be? Warden-san, you were the one who said “we”, so…

E: (falls to their knees) … My head… Huh…?

A: Oh? Do you have a headache? Are you alright, Warden-san?

E: …

A: Do get back up by yourself, alright? That’s a trial given to you by God.

E: (heavy breathing)

A: Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven.

E: What are you…?

A: Oh – speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.

E: …!

A: Shidou Kirisaki… His actions violate our rules. I have given him a warning. If he continues, I suppose it will be inevitable for me to intervene.

E: …!

A: Or… could it already be too late?

E: Shut up!! (hits her) … You’re getting ahead of yourself…!

A: Using one-sided violence… that’s unfair of you.

E: Shut your mouth…! I am the one casting the judgements here!

A: Hehehe. And how does that set you apart from us?

E: … I told you to shut up… Listen to what I’m telling you.

A: Hehe… This is nice. If the world you’re striving for is admirable in my eyes… That is to say…

E: Prisoner no.8, Amane… Sing your sins…!

[nuclearplutonium]

INITIATING WELCOME SIMULATION…

Dividers

Ello! I’m Charlie (#1 Chief fan, #1/2 Taco fan, and #2 Ann fan) buuut I like to be called Orion, Charlizard, Lizavich, or Charlin!

any pronouns (preferably he/him)

Cracklin, Chief, Mr. R, Sketchpad, Airy, Gerbo, Thomas Flyswatter, Exclamation Mark, Doorstopper, Clock, Fridge DJ, WWF Tile, Printer, Season17, Lightbulb, Taco, Bot, Cabby, Fan, Yoshka, Yulka, Zara, Cheppy, Socka, Charmy, Edgar, Fossil, Mushroom, Wagyu, Minty, Razor, and Orange Herald are all of my favorite characters/kins :3

I am Gay, Transgender, Agender, and Demisexual ^u^

Alterhuman therian and fictionkin, my theriotypes are black wolf, snow husky, and a T-Rex <33

I’m an American-Czechoslovakian artist and a little bit of a violinist (I mainly speak English but I also speak a bit of Russian)

I am a MINOR!!! I am ok if adults (NOT THE FUCKING SEX BOTS) interact with my blog or me in general just don’t be creepy or kinky about it please.. (read dni list for specifics)

My blog is not meant for younger audiences, therefore I am telling you all that this is a 13+ BLOG. mainly because I’ll post art with mildly suggestive themes in it or reblog something weird.. whatever it may be, I just want to protect the little itty bitty babies that happen to stumble upon this beautiful yet horrifying tumblr blog .-.

currently locked in @thesillygoober7’s basement

old acc is @charlibugg

Here’s most of the stuff I like ! Purple = ION💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Blue = VERY VEEERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VEEERRYRYYY HYPERFIXATED

Green = LOVE ITTT

Orange = Cool cool I like it

Red = Eh… I mean it’s fine.. II/III, I.O.N/И.О.Н, TNM, TPOT, EEE/THREEEE, BURNER, 5SOS, ONE, CFMOT/ИНМТ, Objectified, TDOS, LoTS, Animatic Battle, Bugbo, Dreamophrenia, Sprunki, Max Design Pro, Warrior Cats, Smiling Friends, ATHF, Gravity Falls, Villainous, DHMIS, Electric Dreams (1984), Ride the Cyclone, TPC/Pink Corruption, Regretevator, Homestuck

besides fandoms I hyperfixate on time to time… I also LOVE nuclear reactors, epic guitar solos in music, whatever the hell plutonium jazz is, and I just genuinely love learning ANYTHING about nuclear physics and energy :3 (oh and lollipops, I love lollipops)

Some games I really like (not Roblox games) are In Stars and Time, Fallout 4/Fallout: New Vegas (IM SORRY FALLOUT 76 IS SO BORING AND BUGGY AAAAA), Omori, Sims 2-4, Tomodachi Life, Miitopia, Cardpocalypse, Wobbledogs, Pikuniku, Ooblets, Splatoon 2-3, Dragon Quest: Builders 1-2, Minecraft, Wandersong, JSAB, and AC:NH :3

and most of the bands/artists I listen to (current hyperfix band will be written in bold) are MSI, sElf, WW/WWATT, The Scary Jokes, Sodikken, MOTHH, Lemon Demon, Tally Hall, Bondage Fairies, STOMACH BOOK, Ken Ashcorp, LiteralHat, YFM, Limp Bizkit, Insane Clown Posse, Gorillaz, System Of A Down, Foo Fighters, Dream Puzzles, That Handsome Devil, Sacri, They Might Be Giants, Oingo Boingo, Weird Al, Jhariah, Lenin Was A Zombie, and Drive45!

I have Autism, ADHD, and Depression.. so sorry if I don’t talk/respond to asks or dms quick enough or I don’t answer them properly… I’m a very shy person. So please text me first if you want to dm me, if you’re a mutual I’d love to talk to you! ^_^

ask box will close down sometimes, it is not a mistake usually, I just don’t feel like taking asks :3

DNI - uhhhh this (carrd not mine) ..also I will check your account once you follow me usually to see if you aren’t a weirdo, I block who I choose to block

Places I inhabit:

Instagram

YouTube

Spotify

TikTok (currently trying to fix some link issues)

Wattpad

Pinterest

(Created: 1/15/24)

(Last updated: 9/20/24)

I reblog WAYY too much posts so if you’re willing to find my art search #bugs goof art

#Charlizard’s rabble ransoms - for random posts that are just filler or me going on a whole rant (will also be tagged for long posts too sometimes)

Q&A stuff under cut because I can lol:

Q: Where did the name Charlin come from?

A: I was being stupid and decided to combine Cracklin and my name (Charlie) together and ended up with Charlin

Q: What programs do you use for your art?

A: IbisPaint X (no premium *cri*) on my iPhone, or my iPad either one, and my finger! (it’s painful lol)

Q: Do you do anything else besides art?

A: Yep! I do gardening, cooking (if I have to), (sometimes) animations, writing, edits, gaming, reading, attempt to make music, and science stuff :)

Q: Do you take art commissions?

A: Nope, sorry ;-; I don’t have a way for people to give me money at the moment, maybe wait a few million years. I do happen to take art requests/art trades! So if you want any of those just ask me in the ask box ^_^

Q: Will you ever show us a face reveal?

A: Ahhhh, no, not really. Only thing close to seeing how I really look irl would be those Picrew challenges where you make yourself, but besides that, nope!

Q: Do you happen to have any other blogs?

A: Yes, actually, I happen to run the @cracklinzz kin blog! (It’s so empty I’m on the verge of deleting it)

Q: What’s Objectivated Orbit, why do you keep talking about it?

A: Okay yay I get to talk about this! Objectivated Orbit is my very own object comic that is in the works right now. (be warned, Charlin’s going to write an entire paragraph about this subject WAHHHHH)

It’s about all of these teens (in their 14s, 15s, 16s, or 17s) who get kidnapped and taken to this otherworldly planet and forced to play these dumb games in order to win an nonexistent prize. It’s heavily inspired by ONE, ION, and maybe TADC.

Currently the project is being worked on…. Very… very… slowly.

But we hope to release it at some point near the end of this year or in 2025-2026! (I am so sorry for how long you gotta wait, I am waiting for a lot of info from my co-workers on this project so I can properly storyboard and illustrate it)

‼️We currently aren’t taking online job applications, sorry about that. :(‼️

[a-d-nox]

who is a.d. of nox's astrology?

as i continue to go through and fix all the links on my blog, i noticed that i have a few posts that give some insight about me, but nothing strictly covering who i am.

call me a.d., call me nox, call me a.d.nox.

as i have said before in my nyx post, it's a pseudonym! i resonate most with the roman goddess of darkness, thus i like her name and made it part of mine for all my writing needs.

my enthusiasm for astrology starts wayyy back when i started studying astronomy in second grade. that was about the same time i started learning about mythology because the man who taught astronomy at my school was from a wampanoag indian tribe. i don't know where that man is today, but shout out to him teaching me all about the constellations!

my enjoyment of astrology never really dissipated all these years, but my interest in starting a blog arose when i saw astrology come up more frequently on tiktok in 2020. as the avid reader and literature major that i am i was a bit worried that some asteroids were getting a bad wrap or being oversimplified. origin stories, myths, and legends have always been of the upmost importance to me so i thought why not share my thoughts!

so here i am about a year later - still going strong!

as for tarot, i have been studying tarot for nine years now (holy crap - i sound old).

both of these practices are something i wouldn't deem myself an expert in because everyday i still find myself learning something i didn't know before. so this is a safe space for everyone to learn no matter your experience level! there is no such thing as a stupid question - remain openminded on my blog and all will be well.

some other stuff about me that's not occult oriented: i'm an entj-t, 8w9, i studied forensic psychology before i became an english major (i graduate/graduated may 2023), i consume all media as if i was a glutton at a feast, i went to art school briefly and my medium was photorealism, i write/wrote on my university's paper, i am constantly listening to music (i'm a.d.nox on spotify as well), i taught myself cooking and baking at age 12, i hate small talk (please never just write me with "hi"), and i love dinosaurs lol.

for more about me in terms of astrology check out the following posts:

about my most prominent aspect: pluto opposite jupiter

i hate bullying: this is a no bullying zone

my big 3's aesthetic

my chart breakdown

my original introduction: 20th post (nyx), 20 facts about me

my pantone

my scorpio moon stare

my 6h v. my taste in animals

my 9h: 1 year after university reflection

q&a: your questions, my answers

reflecting on some of my placements

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic" button if you want to see a specific post or mythical asteroid next!

click here for the masterlist

copyright terms

[vitato]

So

It's my first time here and I have absolutely no idea what am I doing.

About me:

Nonbinary boymoding 90% of the time individual.

He/She/They

Pansexual, polyamorous

I'm from Poland and I'm preparing to be a Polish teacher (so language, art, philosophy).

I'll probably shitpost about being a student, beginner teacher, lgbt and stupid at the same time.

Also I'm a parent of a very smol baby but for now I keep them safe from the internet's gaze.

I will post always in English, and even tho I think I'm pretty okay at it, there will be always some minor mistakes and I apologize for that. Also I'm incredibly bad at noticing my phone's shenanigans so sometimes it will twist a word. I will be using "edit" option very often. Anything in Polish comes up I will translate it for everyone to be able to enjoy it. I'll do my best!

Unique thing I can add is that I love gaming and I plan on incorporating it into my teaching. I did lessons on narration in games for a high school and it was great. I will also put it in my bachelor's thesis.

So, that being said, hi everyone, I'm new, please don't eat me.

My links:

Twitter (lost my main sadly):

Steam (I'll gotta figure social stuff out):

Spotify, if you want for some reason:

[mlynar-nearl]

okay so!! recently i got obsessed with the horse uncle, and finding your blog was like the best thing that happened to me in a couple of weeks. so i wanted to humbly share with you some song suggestions from my fave polish band for him and/or mytol!

i love love love how Polish On Main most of the Koniec Świata songs are, so i think a lot of them would suit mlynar, but my personal faves are:

Durny (kocham cię jak durny jest ten świat);

Norweski (Otrzepany z zaszczytów, swych ambicji i planów, na swe własne wybiegam przestrzenie);

Trybuna Ludu (Tutaj stoi nasz dom, ciągle pod tym samym niebem. Gdzie uciekło wszystko co prawdziwe i szczere?)

1980 II (Dorastając w tym kraju trzeźwiejemy z marzeń)

i could give you the links but sadly anon option is text only ((

they are on spotify tho!! hope you'll like 'em as much as i do

anon upon seeing this in my ask box i practically jumped up and down in my seat like a little child on christmas morning.

i. love. music. i love making playlists. i love being exposed to new music. this is a treat and a feast for me.

i will now take my followers on a little journey through this. it looks unfortunately like none of these have been translated to english by someone with more competence than me but i can fumble my way to understanding with a lot of languages. that said i do apologize in advance for any mistakes, i'm an amateur with a computer and a passion for linguistics.

this is all on spotify in case anyone reading this missed it, yay :D i will include links to everything. hopefully all of them work because i'm doing a lot of links, here.

i. durny [spotify] [youtube] - oooooh the mytol . oooooh the. the. this one yells put on your shipping goggles to me. sorry. i love them. the sense of being weary and old and also, i love you, everything sucks, and i love you. the world is stupid, and i love you.

ii. norweski [spotify] [youtube] - holy shit, if you told me this was his theme instead of ensheath and i had not heard ensheath i would believe you wholeheartedly. it's hard to compete with a song handcrafted for the character in terms of capturing the character, but somehow, this does it. i think it captures the character similar to how the wonderful "knight shift" animation did, in terms of how much shit he has going on beneath the surface and how his image is calm and collected, but his mind and emotions are always raging.

iii. trybuna ludu [spotify] [youtube] - kazimierzcore. kazimierzcore. kazimierzcore. sorry. it's hard to explain what's so compelling about kazimierz, the capitalist hellscape kazimierz is, in words, but a definite part of it is that sense of loss by moving forward- loss via change of the very self- in addition to the greed that consumes the entire nation. the wheel keeps turning, kazimierz keeps going. it's everybody's guilt. something is rotten in the state of kazimierz, but that something is...essentially everything.

iv. 1980 II [spotify] [youtube] - again. the kazimierz energy. oh man. woagh.

i can't offer like. a comprehensive analysis of lyrics, obviously, because i do not speak polish. i just kind of got the gist from moving through some translation stuff and catching themes but fuck, dude, i love these. i feel totally giddy for having received these and i will def be listening to more...thank you so so so much anon, if you have any more recs for him or really any kazimierzcore polish music i would love to hear it times a hundred Thousand.

[thealterscrolls]

Hey! 'Tis me. I'm here with some numbers for the fic ask; there were so many to pick from and they were all really interesting questions so I couldn't narrow it down to just one. Hope that's okay. Anyway, any of you can answer these, and you can answer as many or as little as you want.

13 (music)

34 (personal life…no pressure to answer this one by the way)

45 (genre/trope)

50 (writing style)

57 (foreshadowing) Good luck with all your writing! :D

helo charlie friend, tysm for the ask! you picked out some banger questions and jakob and i were happy to answer them! without further ado, all of our long winded answers will be below the cut. apologies in advance for the walls of text lol

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

cas: i personally have a hard time writing if the music has words but writing in silence is hard too, so my go to writing music for YEARS has always been anything by Peter Gundry. i used to just listen to his dark magic music compilations on youtube, but now i'll go through his albums on spotify. i'll write to music with words on rare occasion but only if it's a character/fic playlist of songs that remind me of the character or story in some way. i generally don't make those playlists public, but i have found that i put Lord of the Lost in as many playlists as possible to the point that a lot of them are half LOTL songs lol. here's a casual link to my recs playlist for that band lmao.

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

jakob: id say we tend to incorporate a lot, which is funny if i answer on a more personal level because i dont consider myself to have lived that much life at all to be incorporating anything valuable of it. i've only been around in this system a couple months. but regardless of which of us is doing the writing, we all will pull from everyone's experiences. some things just read more viscerally when you have a memory of experience to take notes from. always have to change up details of course. it's like that homework copying meme except the copied stuff looks better than the original thing.

45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

jakob: it's either comedy or it's super angsty drama/romance. rarely inbetween. i think i stick more to the dramatic, angsty stuff though. i havent written anything very humorous. im way too conscious of how much of an endless barrage of sadness my current wip is. i almost feel bad and want to lighten it up a bit lol. meanwhile cas loves writing both emotional shit and extremely stupid cursed goofy shit. they're also that asexual person who has an unnecessary amount of never-to-be-published smutty wips because exploring that kind of stuff is fun to them, but i am the asexual who could not be less interested in being near that kind of thing, much respect to those who are. i dont know enough about tropes to know which ones we write the most.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

jakob: i think i have a fairly literal writing style. they go here. they do that. being "flowery" with descriptions is a conscious effort and unless i get a specific visceral concept or wording in my head, it will just be a pretty straightforward description of events. i imagine the jump from "x does y thing" to "eloquent description of an abstract emotion" might be fairly noticeable. and to be fair, i think it's this way with everyone in the system. i dont think there's any significant difference between our writing styles, including handwriting.

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

cas: very conscious! it's one of my favorite things about writing fics and often is the basis for a fic concept. i love when writing has little motifs and is self referential AND THE PARALLELS! GOD THE PARALLELS MY BELOVEDS!!! if i cant include a billion parallels in my shit am i even writing? this is honestly a system wide preference too because jakob's writing is like that lol. this is one of the reasons we prefer to write fics completely before posting them so we can sufficiently make sure the parallels work out and things are tied up neatly. but its also the biggest reason we dont really have much posted either </3

[watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees]

for the writing ask game, i have some questions about sold to 2way street! (15) and (18) :3

Buckle up, because this turned out to be long and I'm kind of rambling

from this game

putting the answers under the cut, just to cut down on the length, i don't think there's any spoilers or triggering materials in this one, the only thing is

CW: pet whump mention

(15) in what ways are you challenging yourself with [project], and is there anything specific you want to come out of the work having improved skills in? on the other hand, which aspects are fully in your comfort zone?

I'm challenging myself to make up an actual storyline (which hasn't happened yet), so far the only way I see the plot would be resolved, is something I don't write at all (= a rescue arc) so far that would be very lazy of me (easy solution, because it'd be easy to write, but it wouldn't feel like I'm appreciating my own story enough to put in the effort and finish it with something I actually like), and not enjoyable (because it's something I don't read, so what kind of a writer am i if I'm writing things I myself wouldn't read) (and I'm aware that most people like this stuff, I would just like to enjoy my own writing more than writing something purely for others). So that I'm working on.

Something that's out of my comfort zone, is that this story is so soft and silly (to my standards okay?) and I don't always know what to do with it. Like I feel like I need to tone the whump down by a lot and turn the volume up on the plot, but what plot?

And there are so many people, I try to keep the ratio even of playing around with each of the 4 boys, but it's a sisyphean task, with a lot of room for improvement. (I can't even navigate conversations in group settings irl, so it's no surprise I can't recreate it in writing)

My comfort zone when it comes to this story, is the pet whump aspect and the 1D lore.

(18) pick 1-5 songs which you believe define either [project] or [character (relationship)] and elaborate on why with attached lyric selections. (optionally: link a playlist)

The funniest thing about this story, is that it has literal musicians as main characters, is about a band and I have no playlist/songs for them, because 1D is all I listen to to get into the vibe.

I scoured through my Spotify, though, not to leave you hanging:

Three Imaginary Boys by The Cure

the very first and the third verse about statues and the garden remind me a lot of that time Oli went outside to pick flowers

Walk across the garden in the footsteps of my shadow

See the lights out, no one's home

In amongst the statues, stare at nothing in the garden moves

Slipping through the door

Hear my heart beats in the hallway

Echoes 'round and 'round inside my head

It captures the fear of doing something he's not supposed to without actually being aware of the danger, it's just a tiny bit reckless and scary just how doing new things is

Homesick by Jacob Oman

simply Oli dealing with his homesickness, for his previous owners

I'm homesick for the life I had

Even though my life has gotten bigger

Is it stupid to be so cliche?

Will my hometown love me anyway?

Even though I left it in the past

You don't have to answer but I have to ask

They Don't Know About Us by One Direction

(1D brainrot incoming)

The song's background is important here:

larry anthem

they were never allowed to perform it live

the lyrics work perfectly without the additional "girl" slapped on the end of that line

need i say more

do i just copy and paste the entire lyric here? /hj

Think of Will and Eddie singing this to each other:

(think about them writing a song just for themselves)

They don't know about the things we do

They don't know about the I-love-yous

But I bet you if they only knew (they don't know)

They would just be jealous of us

They don't know about the up-all-nights

They don't know I've waited all my life

Just to find a love that feels this right (they don't know)

Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us

Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne

What's wrong, what's wrong now?

Too many, too many problems

Don't know where she belongs

Where she belongs

worldwide fame, luxury and all the riches money can buy, and they're all still suffering, Oli specifically wants a home, even if it's not ideal, it's not the empty grey house (not home!!!) they live in

Her feelings she hides

Her dreams she can't find

She's losing her mind

She's falling behind

This feels like Khai losing his motivation and becoming disillusioned with being a celebrity

And on a different note, I do have some more ideas for future chapters, I will not abandon this story I swear, I just haven't really been in the mood for it this summer <<3

[shinydixon]

''The comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/10g13ps/comment/j5061n0/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 "he certainly doesn’t seem to act that way around other women" Have they seen how he acts with fans (who are complete strangers)? The "red herring" comment sounds like it was copied and pasted from Phoenix too.'' HOLY SHIT I LAUGHED SO HARD I ALMOST PISSED MYSELF. it's so funny to see the contrast between the sane people and the insane ones. the sane ones saying grace has a long term partner and joseph is to this day very active on raya and he's dating around. and then i guess someone alerted the vanquinns and they posted these comments: "I’ve heard that they’ve been spotted together a couple times and supposedly there are pictures. I haven’t seen them for myself, so who knows. As for the NZ guy she’s rumored to be dating, I’ve heard that they’re friends and he’s more of a red herring to keep suspicion off of Joe and Grace. I have know idea if any of this is true or not, it’s just what I’ve heard. Idk about the Joe and raya app stuff either. I will say Joe and Grace do seem close with one another and if true I think they’re super cute!" "He literally has a song named after her on one of his Spotify playlists…" -- this one had the link to joe's spotify and i chose not to share it. but the best part of this is that this comment is being down voted due to the sheer stupidity of it. and everybody is calling them out for sharing the link and for thinking the song is for grace when it literally just says grace at the end and it's grace as in something pure and holy. "Well shit, now that you say something about it it is kinda sus. He kinda gives her special treatment for lack of a better term, he certainly doesn’t seem to act that way around other women. She definitely seems into it too. I’ve never heard of her dating someone else but idk I don’t really know a lot about her." these are the ones that made me laugh out loud. there are a few more because someone alerted the vanquinns to the question the op asked. op wanted to know if there's any tea on joe and grace's friendship. i'm kinda convinced op planned this with other vanquinns. it's funny how desperate they are. these comments are giving 'THE NEW LEGEND OF ZELDA WILL HAVE ALL THE ZELDAS FROM PREVIOUS GAMES, I KNOW THIS BECAUSE MY DAD WORKS AT NINTENDO, OK??' lmao 'i've never heard anything about her dating' and 'joe was on raya only once when that fan shared it on tiktok' are my top favorites. i can feel the desperation from here. oh and get this, they've been spotted together multiple times but there are no photos :/ can you believe that, not a single soul took a picture of the man that is photographed and filmed just for walking around alone, but when he's with grace there are no pictures. also find it funny no one alerted deumaxio or however that shit is spelled, find it very funny that if you search for the reports saying they've been spotted together you'll find nothing. and wait a minute, didn't the vanquinns say they had TONS of pictures of them together but wouldn't share them due to privacy?? and now they're saying there are no pictures?? oh my. i need to wrap this rant and go pee because i can't stop laughing.

Special treatment? Closeness? Then Joe is dating Jamie

[pixiecaps]

HIII I'm really glad you liked the Beep playlist!!! I changed a bunch of stuff in it, idk if you saw it before or after that!! I don't know if adding Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd was the right choice, but also.... Yes it was

Fjhdjdh I really wanted to achieve a mix of a "I'm not human and human lives don't matter to me. I find violence funny and death meaningless" vibe and a "I'm alone, the world is unfair, human beings are stupid and violent. Everyone I've ever loved died and I miss them, but I don't want to talk about it" vibe, since that's how I understand his character. (Wow that's a long grammatically incorrect sentence, I'm sorry)

Anyway sorry for bothering you, just wanted to say that because AAAAAA

Do you have any character-themed playlists you'd like to share? (I'm quite proud of my c!Tubbo playlist, if you want that)

(Feel free to ignore this ask if you don't feel like answering it!! <33)

i did notice the new additions!! :) i think Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd fit really nicely for the, “Everyone i’ve ever loved died and i miss them” vibe, especially with tik tok i shared with the scene where beep is talking about this partner he lost!!

BUT YEAH the entire playlist, i feel at least, hit the nail on both those themes you were going for! like genuinely can’t praise you enough it was executed nicely and i got everything you were tryna show with your perspective of the character :)

and omg no worries it was not a bother at all i’ve posted playlists in the past and i love talking about them and when i saw you mention a playlist i was freaking out cus again love discussing them. i’ve made an origins!ranboo playlist and a c!ranboo death playlist (which is like 98% c!tubbo perspective of being sad and heartbroken LMAO) and i’d be completely down to listen to the c!tubbo playlist if you’d want to share it :DD

heres a link to my spotify acc if ur interested for those playlists i mentioned lol: https://open.spotify.com/user/omffg1verckxfza8ktjhvfyrd?si=_0zemBUDT_e-ofFX00i-oA

[particularemu]

I Missed You | A Bang Chan Scenario

Word Count: 3857

Type: Smut

Warnings: Light choking at the end

Author’s Note: For my bby @channiesmixtape​ 

I apologize, this is SO RUSHED, like yikes. 

Sorry it took so long fam! Thank you for supporting my writing 🥰

Chan was a cruel man. 

A very very cruel man. 

The past hour or so you’ve been at the gym with your boyfriend. You two originally planned to do some couple’s yoga class, but the stupid thing was cancelled last minute because the teacher was either sick with the flu, or didn’t feel like teaching odd 20-something-year-olds how to balance on their significant other’s limbs while in difficult yoga poses. 

Despite your silent internal protest, Chan decided to take the time and get some “much-needed” exercise. Honestly, you just wanted to go home and binge watch the latest K-Drama you and Chan started before he had to go on tour. The lazy bone was hitting you hard today. 

Instead of sitting on your phone for the next hour, you decided it might not be a bad idea to get some exercise yourself. After all, you did eat a whole tub of ice cream last night for unknown reasons. Might as well hop on a machine to work off the extra calories you consumed while watching the latest Weekly Idol episode. 

After walking around the gym staring at the intimidating machines for 10 minutes, you decided the exercise bike looked the least intimidating. You just get on and pedal right? 

Unfortunately, about 20 minutes into your Stray Kids Spotify playlist, your knee decided it was time to burn like hell. Well you tried.  A+ for effort. 

Without anything better to do, you figured watching your attractive boyfriend work out was a good idea. Boy were you wrong. 

Watching your muscular boyfriend work out was filling your head with some dirty thoughts. 

With Chan’s busy schedule, you haven’t exactly had a ton of time to hump like bunnies, so you’ve been super horny for the past couple of weeks, for no apparent reason. 

Chan had to travel for about a month. About 2 days into his absence you started to realize — wow, you guys had sex wayyyyy too much. You couldn’t even last 2 days without sex before you began to masturbate to the memories of his hands on your body. Of course the toys you had stashed under the bed in a lockbox helped dramatically, but none of them filled you up like Chan did. 

“Back so soon?” Chan teased, flexing his arm as he lifted the dumbbell.

Your thighs instinctively pressed together, praying to the sex gods that you weren’t turned on enough to seep through your leggings. The last thing you wanted was the whole gym to see a wet patch through your skin-tight pants. 

“My knee decided that exercise wasn’t in the cards today.” You shivered at a sudden breeze that slipped through the crack of the open door — mentally cursing those who opened it. You grabbed your hoodie, throwing it over your head and slipping your arms through the sleeves as Chan put the dumbbells away. 

Chan stretched his hand out to you, inviting you to lace your fingers between his perfect ones. “Come on, let’s go.” 

“I can wait if you have more to do.” You intertwined your fingers with his, leaning your head against his shoulder as he lead you to the door. 

“Nah. I don’t want to stick around here if you’re in pain. You need to rest.” 

“Alright you’ve convinced me. Let’s go home.” You giggled as Chan swung your hands obnoxiously while the two of you walked out the door. 

---------

“Gosh, what’s the hurry?” Chan giggled as he stumbled into your small living room, practically knocking into the small table you had placed against the wall near the door. To be fair, you did kind of shove him into the room. 

“Chan. It’s been a month since we’ve watched our drama. I’m going crazy here. I want to see if she’s finally going to get together with him.” You threw your bag onto the coat rack, flinching when the unstable piece of furniture rocked under the weight of your unreasonably large bag, making Chan giggle as he watched you steady the hunk of wood. 

“Fine, fine. You could watch it without me you know.” Chan stepped on the heel of his shoe, slipping out of them with ease before sprawling on your dingy blue couch. He flinched a bit as the springs poked him in the side. 

“Yeah, everything I own is falling apart. I did buy a new mattress though. Wanna binge watch it on my bed?” You threw your keys into a small bowl resting on top of the table next to the front door. Chan gave you that bowl when you first bought that apartment because you kept losing your keys and other important stuff like chapstick, pain killers, and your extra phone charger. 

Chan sat up from the broken-down couch, laughing as the piece of shit groaned under his weight. “What did you do to this thing?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s like 87 years old. My grandmother gave it to me a long time ago, and from what my mom has told me, they did it everywhere.” You cringed at your own words. Probably wasn’t the best story to tell your boyfriend when you were hoping to get dicked down later. 

Oh well. 

Chan visibly cringed before hopping off the ragged couch. “Yep. Your room sounds lovely.” 

You laughed, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend's neck. “You know… we could always do more than watching shows in there.” 

“Oh really.” Chan’s eyebrow shot up in the air, a dorky grin tugging at his lips as you finished your proposal. 

“We can cuddle.” You kissed his lips. “And kiss.” You pressed another soft kiss to his lips. 

“I like the sound of that.” Chan smiled, hands sliding down your shoulders before linking under your butt and lifting you up. 

You couldn’t help but squeal a bit as Chan lifted you off the ground, arms and legs wrapping around him as if you were a koala bear hanging onto a tree during a severe windstorm. 

“I’ve got you.” Chan chuckled as he walked the two of you to your less than extravagant bedroom. 

Truth be told, being in his arms like that made you feel safe. It’s been far too long. The entire month he was gone, you craved moments like these. You missed having his arms around you as you giggled over senseless things, watching your K-drama together, sitting in the recording studio listening to his new music. All those moments were replaced with 3 AM text messages and 5 minute calls before bed.  

“I missed you.” You nuzzled your head into his neck. 

“I missed you too baby girl.” Chan pushed the bedroom door open with his foot, chuckling when he saw your sheets. “I hate to ruin this moment, but I have to ask. Are those taco sheets?”

“I happen to like tacos a lot.” You giggled. “And they were on sale.” You added, making Chan laugh. 

“I love them.” Chan nuzzled his nose against yours — the corny action making you fake-gag. 

“Be nice to your boyfriend.” Chan laughed. 

“No.” You retorted. 

“Fine.” An evil grin made its way on Chan’s face before he tossed you onto your mattress, laughing with you as you bounced a couple times. His laughter died down a bit as he crawled onto the mattress, snuggling next to your body.

You smacked his arm, “Hey! That’s one way to ruin the mood.” 

“Oh? What mood did we have?” Chan couldn’t stop his laughter. “Last I remember we were talking about your grandparents going at it on your couch.” 

You mentally smacked yourself. Why on earth did you think it was a good idea to bring that up when you were hoping to have his fingers shoved into your vag. 

That’s when it hit you. 

“What if I strip for you?” Your eyes met his, noticing the slight blush tinting his pale skin. 

“Are you seriously trying to convince me to have sex with you?” Chan’s hands ran along your side, making your body shiver at his touch. 

You wanted more — so much more, and he knew it. His large hand lingered on hip, squeezing the soft flesh softly as he waited for you to say something — anything that would give him permission to devour you bit by bit. Despite his teasing, he wanted this just as much as you did. 

“I was really hoping to get laid tonight.” Your voice shook slightly, confidence wavering as you tried your hardest to keep your composure. Frankly, you were ready to get on your knees and beg, but you were hoping it wouldn’t come to that. 

Chan chuckled a bit before pressing a passionate kiss to your lips. It was as if time stopped, all that mattered in the world was his lips against yours. “That’s funny. I was hoping for the same thing.” 

You moaned softly as Chan’s lips met yours once more, hands traveling up your torso to guide your shirt and sports bra up your body. Your lips separated to remove the unnecessary garments, only to connect once more when he tossed them across the room. Chan swiped his tongue against your lower lip, slipping into your mouth when you obediently parted your lips for him. 

This kiss made up for all the kisses you two missed out on while he was gone. It was the perfect mixture of clashing teeth and tongue as you two felt each other’s warmth in a tight embrace. His breath ghosted across your skin as he pulled away from you, hands darting to the back of his head to yank his shirt off. 

“Ugh, you’re perfect.” Your hands darted to his chest, fingertips feeling the taut muscles.

Chan just chuckled, eyes drinking every inch of your exposed skin. “So are you.” 

Your heart nearly stopped when Chan swung his leg over your hips, piercing gaze watching your cheeks tint a rose color as he straddled you. His fingers fiddled with his belt buckle, unbuckling the damn thing at a painfully slow pace. 

If you weren’t so entranced by his hands, you probably would have said something along the lines of ‘My grandfather moves faster than you,’ and thrusted your hips into his for effect. However, the way his hands looked as he threw the offending piece of leather across the room sent a wave of electricity up your spine.

Your heart panged against your ribcage as if it were playing an obnoxiously loud drum solo at a Metallica concert as your mind flashed with various images of Chan’s hands doing dirty things to your body. A moan escaped your lips as you imagined him sticking his fingers in your mouth before driving them into your pussy, fucking you mercilessly with his fingers as his tongue lapped at your slit. 

A scene straight from a porn movie was playing in your head as you watched your boyfriend slip off his pants in front of you. Was that weird?

That doesn’t matter. 

With each passing second, your underwear grew damper and you found yourself wanting him — and his hands — immediately. 

Speaking of hands…

Chan’s hands were glorious. Your eyes followed their every movement, eyeing up the veins that scattered across his forearms. His knuckles were scraped slightly — most likely from today’s session with the punching bag at the gym. His fingers were the perfect length, and you knew what they were capable of. The thought if his fingers ramming into your g-spot sent a wave of excitement through you. 

You were far too busy gawking at his hands to notice that he caught you staring. 

“I knew it!” Chan’s excited voice startled you a bit, effectively turning off the dirty thoughts you were having and replacing them with pure panic. 

“Knew what?” You looked away, cheeks tinted scarlet as you fiddled with your thumbs. 

Maybe he didn’t actually catch you eye-fucking his hands?

“I knew you had a thing for my hands.” 

“Shit.” The four-letter word slipped from your lips before you could stop it. 

Chan laughed at your reaction, arms wrapping around his midsection as he fell to his side. “Why are you so embarrassed?”

“Hey! You laughing at me isn’t helping.” You swatted his shoulder. 

Sure it was kind of embarrassing to admit that simply looking at his god-like hands would turn you on faster than the speed of light, but it was kind of nice to know you didn’t have to hide it anymore — not that you were doing a good job. 

Chan’s laughter died down. “Sorry. I’m not making fun of you. I just don’t see it. What makes my hands so sexy baby girl?” 

“Chris.” You rolled him over and straddled his hips, grinding your core into his growing cock. “I find everything about you sexy — including your hands.” 

Your fingertips grazed along his chest, fingers dipping into each curve of his abs as you ground your hips into his again, hoping he would get the hint to quit teasing and fuck you already. “I want you Chris.” You slid off his lap, fingertips tugging at the waistband of his boxers. 

Chan’s eyes darkened with lust — or was that your imagination? Nevermind, that doesn’t matter. 

You were more focused on his hand palming his length through the navy blue boxers you were trying to remove from his body. The erotic sight making you more and more excited for what was to come. 

It had been so long. You were dying to unwrap him. 

“What exactly do you want baby girl?” Chan purred. “I bet you’ve had some amazing dreams about my hands.” He smirked when your face flushed red. Bingo! “Tell me, what exactly do you want me to do.”  

His words sent shivers up your spine. Well, the boy already knew you had a hand fetish. Might as well have some fun and get him to do what you’ve been dreaming of. After all, you have been having the same exact wet dream for over a month. Having Chan there to fuck you senseless would be so much better than riding a dildo on the bathroom floor. 

“Please finger me.” Your voice shook ever-so-slightly, all sense of pride leaving your body as you practically begged for his touch. Even though it was embarrassing to beg for his fingers up your coochie, you knew it would all be worth it in the end. Chan would do anything to please you. “I want your tongue.” Your hands rested on his hips, thumbs dipping into the evident dips near his hip bones. 

A sinister smirk took over Chan’s features as he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “You’re such a good girl.” 

His praise turned you on more than you’d care to admit — especially when it reminded you of how he praises your golden retriever. Despite that awkward comparison, you still love to hear his words of approval when you two are intimate. 

You moaned as Chan traveled down your clothed body, quickly ridding you of your leggings. 

“No panties?” Chan teased, shooting an award-winning smirk at you as he chucked your leggings across the room. 

“It’s easier to not wear any with leggings. Then I don’t have to worry about panty lines.” You glared at him. “Just, get to work!” 

Boys wouldn’t understand. 

Chan couldn’t help but laugh at your passionate outburst as his hands ran across the smooth skin of your thighs. Your frustration was quickly replaced with pleasure when he opened your thighs, his warm breath ghosting across your core as his hands left you bare and spread before him. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Chan’s lips pressed against your thigh quickly before he hovered over your center, tongue darting across his lower lip as his eyes drank in every dip and curve you had to offer. 

Even though the words were nice to hear, you didn’t need him to utter those 3 little words. The expressions on his face as he took off your clothing, piece by piece, made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. His eyes always watched you with such wonder, hands always feeling the need to grab the parts of you that you once thought were horrible, a blush always evident on his cheeks when you were the most vulnerable to him, those were the unspoken words that didn’t need to be said. 

You mean the world to me.

Without warning, Chan dove into your folds, tongue flattening against you as his fingertips pressed into your thighs. The overwhelming pleasure took you by surprise, making your back arch as a loud moan echoed through the room. Your head pressed into the pillows, hands tangling in Chan’s curly locks as his middle and index fingers entered your core. 

The sinful sounds echoing in the room only heightened your pleasure — the sounds of moaning, sucking, licking, and slurping making your thighs shake around Chan’s head. 

This was exactly why you guys couldn’t fuck in the dorms. It wouldn’t take long for one of the boys to hear the two of you and either A) ask you two to stfu and stop, or B) wonder if someone was dying. You two tried to fuck in the dorms once, but your voice (and Chan) betrayed you.

A harsh suck brought your attention back to the brunette between your legs. Chan backed away from your core, “Eyes on me princess.” 

His big brown eyes watched every one of your reactions as his lips enclosed around your clit, sucking harshly, sending intense waves of pleasure through your body. Chan’s fingers curled inside you, hitting your g-spot with each harsh thrust. 

The amount of pleasure you were feeling was indescribable. No vibrator could compare to the feeling of his fingers ramming inside you while his tongue flicked your clit. You couldn’t help but hope that he wouldn’t be gone this long again — even though you knew that wasn’t going to happen. Chan was an idol. Going on a world tour could take him away for nearly a year. 

“Oh my God Chan.” Your whole body tensed as your orgasm approached, toes curling as shockwaves of pleasure coursed through you. It was as if a coil was tightening more and more with each pass of his tongue until it snapped. 

A mixture of curse words and Chan’s name slipped from your lips as you reached your high, toes curling as your fingers let go of his hair to fist the sheets. Your thighs shook around his head as Chan’s tongue lapped up your juices, riding you through your orgasm. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for that.” You panted, body shivering at the intense orgasm that was still making its way through your body. 

Chan chuckled a bit, pulling his boxers off his body before hovering over you. He pressed a soft kiss to your nose, making you giggle a bit, before asking, “Can you keep going?” 

His eyes held concern, which warmed your heart, but there was no way in hell you’d pass up having his cock inside you. 

“Please keep going.” Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. “I need more of you.” 

Chan pressed kisses all over your face before lining himself up with your core. “I’m happy to oblige.” 

Your fingernails dug into Chan’s shoulder blades as he pressed into you — feeling every inch of his cock rub against your walls as his hips rocked into yours. Chan’s hands rested beside your head, holding up his weight so he wouldn’t crush you. You pressed your face in the crook of his neck, aiming to suck on his skin as he set a quick pace, thrusting into your heated core. 

“No marks.” Chan commanded, the authority in his voice sending shivers down your spine. 

“Yes sir.” You could swear you felt him twitch inside you at the title. Darn. You were really hoping to litter his pale skin with some dark purple marks. Then the whole world would know that he was yours. Then again… Perhaps he had a point. That could make for some bad publicity for Stray Kids. 

Chan’s lips pressed against yours, giving you something to do with your tongue as he deepened the kiss. His hips slammed into you faster, gaining power with each thrust. You could feel his breath ghost across your lips as you parted for air. The new control you had over your mouth gave you the energy to focus on wrapping your legs around his waist, thighs squeezing him tightly as his hips ground into yours. 

“I’m close baby.” Chan’s husky voice sounded strained as his thrusts became erratic. 

“Choke me.” If you weren’t having the time of your life, you’d be embarrassed by how fucked out you sounded begging for his hand around your throat. 

Chan groaned, hand immediately finding its way to your throat, pressing down firm. It was glorious, but you still wanted more. 

“Harder.” 

Chan quickly obliged, cutting off most of your air supply with his hand.  The feeling of his fingers digging into your skin brought you to your second orgasm within seconds, a choked cry escaping your lips as you clenched around Chan’s cock, milking him into his own orgasm. 

Chan released your throat, a deep moan echoing in the room as you tightened your thighs around his hips, forcing him to stay inside you as he hit his release. You could feel his cum coat your walls as he slowly rocked his hips against yours, helping the two of you ride out your orgasms. You repeated his name over and over as if it was the only thing you knew, arms holding him closer as you basked in the afterglow. 

“I came inside.” Chan pulled out, running his hands through his hair, stress taking over any previous emotions he had felt. 

You sat up and rushed to him, rubbing his shoulders to bring him down from his freakout. “Don’t worry, I’m on the pill.” 

Chan sighed, relief flooding throughout his body as he sunk back into your embrace. 

“Besides, even if I wasn’t, I kind of put you in a chokehold with my legs, so you would have had a right to freak out at me.” You giggled, running your fingers through his sweaty hair. 

“You know, having children with you wouldn’t be so bad.” He mumbled.

You weren’t a fan of having kids in your early twenties, but hearing him admit that he wants kids someday warmed your heart. At least you knew if something were to happen and you got pregnant, you’d have Chan by your side. “Yeah?”

“You’d make a great mom.” Chan murmured, sleep slowly taking over the poor boy. 

“I think you’re too tired to think straight.” You couldn’t help but tease him. He looked so tired. 

Chan merely chuckled, pulling you under the covers to press your bodies together. “I am tired, but it’s true.” 

You leaned your head against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep. The last thing you heard before you drifted off to sleep was Chan’s whispers, “I missed you.”

[darqx]

You stayed at home and it was awesome

Sometimes i forget i have things in my drafts |D In which Rire is also like ugh at this pandemic. Yes that title is a reference to BTD2 lol.

❗️For commonly asked qs please see my BTD FAQ

He would actually be annoyed cos believe it or not social/physical distancing is not conducive to his modus operandi lol.

Rire during this time like:

But just think how fun things like Rire’s chase scene would be! \o/

Nope there are no plans for a BTD3, everyone is busy working on their own personal projects now.

There has been a misunderstanding here (which ok, fair XD) - human!Rire and DemonKing!Rire are separate Rires, they’re not the same person. To be quite specific human!Rire is actually the original and the Demon King version is an AU version. It’s briefly explained in my FAQ under the heading “WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE SAME CHARACTERS?“ |D

I was gonna draw Lady Rire’s hair in a plait for this, but then i realised i didn’t want to draw that much plait |D

Technically yes but they wouldnt have any definition/texture so they’d literally just look like weirdly pluffy shaped tentacles XD

Sometimes you guys ask me questions like this and i dont think anyone’s yet cottoned on to the fact that i’m not a gamer XD;

Yes, although courting another Royal can be a bit of a minefield (even if each Royal happened to love the other very much) due to political agendas. Most of the time if a Royal marries, their spouse is not a Royal as this keeps a preferable unbalance of power.

Is anything in the BTDverses ever really canon lol, considering all the integrated elements it’s made up of XD As i didn’t work on BTD2 with Gato and EP, that’s one way we threw a Rire cameo in.

That being said i do think with any meetups Rire would’ve had some kind of interest in his BTD1 cohorts, they are both interesting in their own ways after all >:]

I havent decided yet if this is a Rire reaction, or my reaction to this question.

Something like this:

Which is how i draw his hairstyle for his younger years

Cat

Hmm, piano; most likely picked up from his sojourns in the upper echelons of human society over the centuries

No XD

[from a previous answer dump]; this is v specific and generally i try not to answer this kind of specific OC stuff because i’d rather people like…have fun and use their imagination :d

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I really enjoy seeing fanart and fanfics so i wouldnt mind! Though you’d have to send them off anon, as i dont tend to click on links in asks from anon users or dodgy looking accounts. Another thing to consider is that i treat asks like that as private ones, so if you’d rather plug to more people i’d recommend making a post for it on your tumblr (if you have one) as opposed to just sending it to me!

Go on then 😏 Dont let your dreams be dreams! XD

Oh that’s a good one! Lessee you’d have to have the usual app stuff obviously (i’m not going to be too specific in most cases just substitute an app you think is pretty good for the generics haha)

like a good calendar app (for all those soul stealing appointments one has to keep)

world clock (maybe one thats a bit more involved than the default lol)

a beautiful weather app

google maps

spotify (listen to some nice jazz as you murder someone perhaps)

news app

a VPN and possibly Tor / Onion browser

one of those apps that tells you where good bars/club/eating places etc are

a few puzzle / strategy games, like Plague inc

For science hmm -insert SURE SURE face lol-

Tumblr is actually the place i usually throw stuff like that (thanks Tumblr, for being less useful at one thing now). I’ve kinda been toeing the nsfw line for a while anyway so there’s a lot of VERY suggestive nudity and stuff but not enough to get me in trouble atm |D

I’ve been thinking about maybe doing like a doodle account on Twitter but idk about their nsfw policies either...

Thank you! In my writings there are different made up species of demons with their own defining traits (eg Rire’s species are called Sollicio demons), so meeting another of your species would not be too unusual.

However as demons tend to recognise each other as being demons (according to my world law anyway, YMMV), a demon MC bringing Rire home would’ve been a REALLY stupid decision on their part cos they really should’ve figured out he was a pretty powerful one too much earlier XD

Rire: Like my status if you think i’m sexy

Ren: Like my status if you like Japanese shit

Lawrence: Like my status if you dont give a fuck

Strade: Like my status if you love to film yourself!

Cain: Do you like this booty? Like my status

Sano: If you like my serious face like my status

[succubusphan]

Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining - CHAPTER 9

Summary: Dan meets Phil at the lowest moment in his life and is immediately enchanted by him, but nobody is perfect - not even those with good intentions and a kind heart.

This is the story of two imperfect people trying to do their best, to find love and strive in life. They gravitate towards each other at every turn, sometimes dancing in harmony, other times colliding. Rating: E Tags: strangers to friends, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Break Up, they were roommates, Cheating, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, non youtuber au, Angst with a Happy Ending, there was only one bed, ok there was more than one bed but one was very very bad, cuddling for warmth, Stranded, coworkers, Jealousy, toxic relationship (not dan and Phil), everybody makes mistakes, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, alpha phil, omega dan, lots of character development for everyone, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Oral Sex, deep throating, Shower Sex, very slight D/s dynamics, power struggle, you'll want to kill them both at some point and me too, but the end is very very worth it, Happy ending. Word Count: 71k total, 3.1k for this chapter.

A/n: This story was written for the @oldschoolpbb and it's my 100th fic (#spon). Thank you to my team! @schnaf for making the art and being my knight in shining armour as a beta, and going over the fic a million times, always encouraging me and being overall hilarious. Thank you to Mai for being a last-minute beta and providing an external analysis of the story that was incredibly helpful. And thank you @thottydan for reading and for your input. Please, read, enjoy, kudo, comment, like, and above all share, share, share. I am but a small writer and this is my biggest project by far. UPDATES EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S FINISHED (THE LAST CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED ON MAY 2ND). This story is influenced by music at every turn so make sure you check out the Spotify Playlist. Read on ao3 | ART LINK | Start from the beginning

December 22nd

Dan woke up with a smile on his face, his body deliciously sore; he was warm and content, engulfed in a pile of blankets and Phil’s tight embrace. A quick look out the window confirmed that not only the snow had not melted at all but it was actually snowing again. He huffed and decided he better got around making breakfast before he started overthinking what happened during the night.

Phil was awake, Dan knew that the moment the mattress shifted behind him, but he had no intention of having an awkward encounter; It would probably end up in a fight anyway so why even try? Instead, Dan reached for an abandoned hoodie, pulling it on before leaving without a backwards glance.

Looking around in the pantry, he found a few cans of tuna and soup, oil, salt and dried condiments, a value pack of ramen packets but not much else. There was still some bread on the counter and a few eggs but they needed to keep an eye on their supplies if they wanted to survive for the next few days. For the moment, Dan put on the kettle for coffee and sat down to drink some water, remembering that hydration was key; his chapped lips reminded him of that as well.

It was stupid to have to sit down and dutifully drink water but he had forgotten to drink as much as he should, especially since they got here and after three days. The impending headache was enough of a reason to pay more attention to his body.

“Hey,” Phil said, leaning on the doorframe.

“Hey.” Dan didn’t turn around; not until he knew it was safe. Instead, he walked to the counter and started to make the coffees; he still remembered how Phil took his: with milk and two sugars. There was no milk, but there was coffee mate - it would have to do.

“What are you making?”

“Just coffee. I was considering making toast but I wanted to see how our supplies were doing.”

Phil hummed. “If we actually cook a bit, I think we can manage it without even being hungry. I brought quite a bit of food but I was missing some essentials, luckily there was some stuff here.”

Dan added the powders and the hot water to each mug. He let out a breath he didn’t know that he was holding and finally looked at Phil. “That’s great,” he smiled. “So, Toast?”

“We can actually have smores and save the bread.”

Dan raised his eyebrows. “We have chocolate?”

“Yes!”

“And you hid it from me?”

“Yes, Dan,” Phil smiled. “That’s the reason we have chocolate.”

Dan rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “Shut up.”

Phil finally entered the kitchen and slapped Dan’s ass gently. “Go sit by the fire, I’ll bring these and the rest of the stuff. Did you drink water yet?”

“Yeah, two glasses.” It was a bit weird that Phil was taking such an interest in his health now, but Dan decided not to linger on that or he would start to read too much into it.

“Good. Go and check in my backpack; there’s a very nice lip balm in the small pocket on the outside.”

“I don’t think that will do much in the state my lips are.”

“There’s a lip scrub in there too.”

“Since when do you use lip scrubs?” Dan frowned.

“Since two years ago. I just used what was at home.”

“Oh,” Dan said and decided to just go for the damn lip scrub and balm, probably courtesy of Tom. He sat by the fire and found the items easily enough, absentmindedly applying them with his ring finger. His mind tried to wander into the muddy territory of what he and Phil were doing while Tom was at home, waiting for his boyfriend... Was this Dan playing a Uno reverse card on Tom and stealing his boyfriend? Was he being complicit in Phil’s cheating? Did they have an open relationship?

With four days still ahead of them, this was still a bit much to ponder on, for all Dan knew they could freeze to death before they were found, so he decided to live in the moment for the time being and regret things later - as he probably would.

Phil walked in with the two mugs and sat across him, handing him one. “Here.”

“Thanks - the other stuff?”

“Oh, forgot the bag on the table,” Phil pouted. “Would you bring it for me?”

“Uh, yeah.” It was strangely nice and also weird how easily they fell back into their old behaviour as if nothing bad had ever happened. As if they were still friends. It was comforting, but also heart-wrenching.

As soon as Dan brought the marshmallows and the chocolate, Phil fished a bag of crackers from his backpack and set everything.

“I’m going to open the furnace so stand back a bit, please.”

Dan did as he was told but still watched Phil roasting the marshmallows, shutting the small door as soon as he was done. “When did you learn to make wood fires and handle furnaces?” he asked curiously.

“As a child. We used to come here with my grandparents during the winter breaks.”

“To Oberstdorf?” Dan blinked.

“Yeah. Pass me my phone, it’s under the pillow.”

Dan walked to the bed and found it easily enough. “Here.”

“Thank you!” Phil unlocked the phone and scrolled until he found what he was looking for. He tapped on the conversation with his mum and opened the first picture. “My mum sent me these when I told her I had rented one of the cabins.” He passed the phone to Dan.

“Aw, this is cute.” Dan zoomed in on the small blonde child in the picture. “I didn’t know you were blonde!”

“Yeah, I was blonde and very weird.”

“Well, one of those is still true.”

Phil laughed and let his tongue slip out. “Your mom is true.”

“Zing!” Dan laughed, not wanting to think about his mum. “Did you have a good time here?”

Phil nodded. “I really loved it even though the drive would always make me sick.” He took a sip of his forgotten coffee. “My first word was ‘light’, and my second word was ‘Berg’.”

“What does ‘Berg’ mean?”

“It’s ‘mountain’ in German; my grandpa taught me that. He also taught me how to play scrabble.” His eyes travelled to the fire but they remained unfocused, as if he could look into the past. “I miss him a lot.”

Dan looked into the man’s eyes in the picture, he looked like a nice man. “You must have really loved them.”

“Yeah. Grandpa Eric died when I was five but my grandma died last year, in the same month as my aunt.”

Dan’s heart dropped. He remembered Phil taking time off last year and he also remembered making snide remarks about Phil looking sad and asking if his boyfriend didn’t keep him happy. He felt sick. “Phil, I - I’m so sorry.”

Phil looked at him and shrugged with a sad smile and shiny eyes. “It’s ok.” He cleared his throat. “I’m glad that I got to see this place again with you.”

Dan smiled in spite of himself. Even when he felt like a piece of shit and he’d treated Phil so badly, he was still taking care of Dan, keeping him warm, making sure he was healthy and handling the food. It reminded Dan why he had fallen in love with Phil in the first place; how he had swept him off his feet and made him so happy for a while until -

Dan sighed and shook his head. He needed to get out of here, and there was nowhere else to go but the bathroom. He quickly excused himself and got a set of fresh clothes before hopping in the shower.

The water was hot but his eyes felt hotter with tears. This trip was making Dan question everything he had assumed about Phil after what happened and it was making him doubt himself too. People had told him time and time again that he was the problem but he had refused to believe them. Had he been too harsh with Phil? No, Phil had cheated, he had done everything just right to make Dan fall in love and then he threw it all away.

And now - Dan had tried to resist Phil, he really had, but it was so hard. Phil knew exactly how to play him, how to seduce him without even trying. Dan’s soapy hands wandered on his chest, pinching his nipples on the way down as he clenched his hole, trying to remember how it felt to have Phil inside him again.

Even after three years, nobody could compare to Phil and the way he made Dan feel - and Dan hated that. He wrapped his hand around his rapidly hardening cock and sighed, slowly pumping as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cool tiles.

The bathroom door opened and closed but Dan didn’t even flinch. He could kick Phil out and pretend last night had never happened, or he could see where this was going.

The sound of Phil walking into the shower made him tense slightly until the alpha pressed his chest against Dan’s back and kissed the nape of his neck softly. “Is this ok?” he asked, his voice so low it made Dan moan and his cock twitch.

“Yeah,” Dan sighed and spread his legs as far as the shower would allow him. He was ready to feel the tip of Phil’s cock on his ass but what he felt was Phil kneeling behind him. “Fuck!” Dan moaned when two hands guided his hips back and spread his cheeks wide open, leaving him exposed. The hand on his cock froze.

“Yeah?” Phil teased, his tongue dragging purposefully from Dan’s taint to his already leaking hole. “Hmm, you taste just as sweet as I remembered.”

Dan moaned, leaving any shadow of a doubt or self-restraint behind and pushed back against Phil’s face. “More!” he groaned.

“Bossy,” Phil said, licking around the rim with the tip of his tongue before spreading his ass even wider and pushing in. He pressed his lips to the hole and sucked, making Dan moan louder and press harder against his mouth.

Dan’s hand finally started moving again, pulling the foreskin on his cock over the tip and back excruciatingly slow, not wanting this to be over too soon. He hissed, the pleasure of Phil’s tongue fucking him was almost getting too much to handle.

Phil pulled back for a moment, replacing his tongue with two fingers. “Do you want me to eat you out until you come or should I just fuck you?”

Dan considered it for a moment. Phil’s careful touch kept his mind mixing pleasure with memories of their past and that simply wouldn’t do, it needed to be hard and fast enough to keep his mind quiet. “Fuck me - hard!”

Phil chuckled but stood behind him, his fingers still pumping in and out of Dan’s ass, occasionally pressing against his prostate. It wasn’t until Dan threw him a murderous look over his shoulder that Phil really got on with it. He pushed Dan’s entire body against the wall and lined himself up, one hand pulling his asscheeks open, getting a clearer view of his objective. “Ready?”

Dan nodded and rested his forehead on his arm.

In one careful yet fluid motion, Phil pressed all the way in and set his chin on Dan’s shoulder, taking deep breaths.

“Fuck,” Dan mumbled as his rim fluttered around Phil.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I just - I can feel you almost up to my stomach.” Dan looked down. “Also, I think I can see you.”

Phil’s head jerked up, moaning at the mental image. He put one hand against Dan’s stomach and pressed down, immediately feeling the pressure on his cock and letting out a moan alongside Dan’s. His other hand left Dan’s ass and nestled between his chest and the wall, pressing the omega closer to his chest as they both leaned back a bit to get a clearer view.

Phil pulled out until only the tip remained inside Dan and thrust in deeply causing his stomach to bulge. “Fuck, that’s hot!”

“Yeah,” Dan’s hand joined Phil on his stomach and pressed Down with every thrust, increasing the pleasure for both of them. Soon the movements became too erratic and uncoordinated to keep that exact position and they settled for finishing as hard and fast as possible. Dan’s face buried in his forearm once again as his left hand worked on his cock in a blur. Phil’s hands on Dan’s hips pulling him closer as he thrust as hard as he could manage, the sound of skin slapping against skin and their moans filling the air. Phil came first, buried deep inside Dan, both of his hands pressing on his stomach. Dan followed soon, painting the wall with thick white ropes that he rinsed as quickly as possible.

As he came down from his high, everything became too real for Dan, his eyes watering quickly. He could feel himself getting more and more anxious. He attempted a neutral tone but it came out way too cold. “Thank you. Please rinse and let me finish my shower alone.”

Phil’s breath caught, but he pulled out slowly and carefully. “I - I could wash your hair.”

Dan was about to freak out; he needed Phil out of the bathroom for that. “I needed to come and you already helped me with that, thank you. You can leave now.” It came out way too spiteful, but it was done.

Phil scrambled out of the shower, wrapped himself in a towel and slammed the door on his way out. Dan reached for the shampoo as the first sobs came. It was just too much. Too many feelings to handle, too many memories, too many mistakes he couldn’t forget. He tried his best to be quiet as he washed his hair and his body, hoping that Phil wouldn’t hear him crying, but when he came out, Phil had left for the other room.

--

Phil didn’t know what to make of what just happened - of any of this. Every time he thought they were getting somewhere, that they were getting closer to really overcoming their issues, Dan pushed him away. Today he had seen Dan’s old personality pop up; his teasing smiles, his gentle tone, his empathy - for fucks sake, Phil couldn’t remember the last time Dan had shown any kind of empathy towards him. He had fucked up by approaching Dan in the shower and now he didn’t know what he could do to fix the situation. Crying seemed like the best option, but it wouldn’t solve anything. Instead, he settled for a practical approach. He left a mug of hot instant ramen and a small chocolate bar where Dan usually sat as a small peace offering and carried all his stuff back to the other room.

He had renewed the oxygen in the room before going into the bathroom, so hopefully, that would help Dan sleep well and without complications. Before getting into the hell bed, Phil towelled his hair again and put on two hats, three hoodies, a pair of leggings and two joggers; hopefully that, paired with the two thick blankets would keep him warm enough to get some sleep.

He crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his head, pulling out his phone and looking at his old family pictures before jumping to the ones he had taken with Dan years ago. They looked so happy in their little sleepovers, fooling around in his flat, at the sky bar the night they got together... Phil sniffled as a few tears rolled down his cheek. He really hoped to be that happy again someday. Then, he scrolled further down and saw all the bitter Instagram posts from Dan in the days following their break up. He knew that it was stupid of him to keep them, but he didn’t have that many pictures of Dan. He was so stupid, so stupid. He wished he could love someone else, someone who loved him back.

--

Once again, Dan sat by the fire feeling like utter shit. He couldn’t deal with his feelings. He was going mad and dragging Phil down with him in the process. From now on, he would try to stay away from the alpha as much as humanly possible for both of their sake.

Taking a sip of his ramen, Dan closed his eyes and shivered. He dragged his chair closer to the furnace to get warm. Despite how horrible Dan was to him, Phil kept taking care of him at every turn, that was honestly more upsetting than if Phil snapped at him or told him to fuck off. Instead, Phil just - took it. That was so unlike Phil.

Dan covered his hand in his mouth and took deep breaths trying to calm himself, he could feel another wave of anxiety about to hit him. Phil reminded him of his younger self, of when he broke up with Alex, when he had lost himself and his self-esteem. Had he broken Phil? Had he ruined Phil’s life? Or was Dan blaming himself for everything like he had before?

He shook his head, trying to push those thoughts away. He needed Bryony. He needed her opinion on this because he honestly didn’t trust his own judgement anymore, not since Alex.

Just in case, he would protect Phil from him. He didn’t want to be the kind of victim that victimizes everyone else to make themselves feel better. Ever since they got stranded at the refuge, he’d noticed Phil trying to get his attention at every turn, staring at him, trying to talk to him - pining. Dan took another sip from his mug and pressed his lips into a line. Phil was taking care of him, it was time that Dan took care of Phil; even if it wasn’t what Phil wanted.

After finishing his dinner, Dan crawled into bed, falling asleep within minutes. But the nightmares kept him trapped in a mental maze, the same scenarios repeating themselves in a maddening loop. He was chasing Phil with a knife, and he caught him every time, stabbing him over and over despite how much Phil begged him not to hurt him. Everything was black and white, everything but Phil’s crimson blood on his hands.

Next Chapter

[strangerfictions]

Roadtrip // T.H Headcanon

A/N: So I saw this super cute post about road trips and I love road trips with friends so here we are...a road trip with Tom Holland. Also I made a playlist for this fic! I’ll link it here and throughout the fic! I’ve finally got all my motivation back so I may be working on a multi part series that includes Tom! So if you want to be tagged in that comment here, send me a message or ask and I’ll add you to the tag list! 

You were both in need of a break from work.

Tom had been filming back to back and you hadn’t had a break for at least 6 months.

Tom would be the first to suggest it.

You were unsure at first but after a lot of convincing from Tom you agreed.

A list was placed on the fried in you apartment two weeks before the trip

Every day there was more things added.

Random stuff like your favourite snacks but most importantly…

A playlist!

You created a playlist on Spotify and you both spent every waking minute adding songs that you both loved.

As the days passed by you both got super excited.

Tom would send you links to hotels and places along the route you were going to take.

And you would send Tom places to eat along the way.

But you both knew you wouldn’t stick to the plan very well.

The night before leaving was a mad rush to get everything packed for the trip.

You didn’t need much but what you did need was important.

You argued with Tom about packing his suitcase on multiple occasions that evening.

So to spite you he threw his suitcase on the bed grabbed his t-shirt drawer and threw every single t-shirt into his suitcase.

“Really? God your so fucking mature Tom!”

You both end up laughing really hard at how stupid you were both being.

Once you were finished packing your own suitcase you took Tom’s and packed it with him.

“Sorry I just get really panicky when packing…what if I forget something important?”

You pull out your phone and open the notes app where you have a list dedicated to everything Tom needs to bring.

“The notes app is great Tom you should try it sometime”

You both barely slept that night thanks to the excitement and the fact that you both couldn’t stop talking about everything you would do.

You both decided to get up really early…like 4am early to get a head start since you were both awake anyways.

The first half hour in the car was spent in peace and quite only the lull of the car on the road keeping you both company.

“Can we stop to watch the sunset?”

You both sat on the front of the car and watched the sun rise over a small forest while chatting about random stuff.

Of course you both took the obligatory Instagram photo to keep your friends and family updated.

By the time the sun was up you were both starving and after some back and forth you both had an idea.

“McDonalds breakfast”

You would spend the entire day on the road to get to your first destination.

You had both had to stop to pee like every twenty minutes but you both didn’t mind since the trip was all about enjoying the moment with each other.

The Spotify playlist came in very useful.

Whenever either you or Tom felt tired while driving you would blast something and scream the lyrics together.

By the third day you had both got into the rhythm of driving every 4 hours before switching.

You both started to take candid photos and videos of each other throughout the trip.

You could be driving and screaming the lyrics of Mr. Brightside and Tom would have 50 photos and 5 videos saved

Or Tom might be walking in front of you in a random town you decided to stop in and you would take so many photos of him.

The trip consisted of so many sunsets, sunrises and star gazing but you couldn’t get enough of them.

It was the last evening of your trip before you drove home and you both decided to sleep out under the stars.

You had brought sleeping bags for this exact reason.

You lay in Toms arms as you both relished in the freedom of not having to work for another few days.

You knew Tom had to leave again in a few days so you were making this moment last as long as possible.

By the time you get home and unpack you are both exhausted but if you could you would do it all over again.

It eventually becomes an annual things and sometimes friends would tag along for the fun.

But one things never changes

The Spotify playlist is still very much in use!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: If you want to be added to any of my future posts then click here to be sent to the google form!

@charmed-asylum @takemepedropascal​ @technolilly​ @multifandomgirl16​ @dreamin-of-dacre​ @an-antisocial-writer​ @1998--js​

[dabisrightnipple]

REDAMANCY

Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

!!PLEASE DO NOT REPOST AND/OR ADD ONTO!!

Word Count: 3.4k

links

re·da·man·cy /reh-dah-man-cee/ noun An act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full

a/n: As some of y’all can hopefully tell, I just read Deciphered and am having a serious street racing/car phase hehehehe. Also make sure to support my other platforms!!!!

"Ow, what was that for?" you whined looking up at Kuroo, who had just rudely interrupted your daydream by throwing a little punch to your shoulder. You rubbed the affected area before looking up at Kuroo, giving him a pouty face. He rolled his eyes while grabbing onto the tassel on your graduation cap and moving it from the right side to the left.  

"Stupid, you weren't paying attention." He softly scolded, throwing you a look of disapproval while making sure to keep his voice as low as possible to not interrupt the ceremony.

"Oops!" You smiled cheekily spewing out a soft light-hearted chuckle. You turned your head to listen to the announcer as he started to count down the second you have left before completing the ceremony.

"Three..."

"Ready?" Kuroo asked while nudging your elbow slightly before grabbing onto your right hand, the other slowly rising to his cap, grabbing onto a corner getting ready to toss it.

"Two..."

"No, hehe."

The crowd went wild, all your senses became heightened as you heard deafening screams of joy, while you looked into the sky seeing a hundred caps, along with yours, being thrown into the air like small fireworks. All those caps carrying the stress school has brought you and many others, you felt the relief shoot through your fingers reaching down to your toes. You stood in your spot for a while, feeling relieved as chaos broke out all around you. Looking over at Kuroo, you cracked a large genuine smile towards him in which Kuroo returned.

Your pent-up excitement decided to finally come out of you causing a scream to erupt out of your throat, Your voice filling your ears, as well as Kuroos' and other bystanders. A wave of adrenaline washed over you as your screaming ceased, causing your throat to burn due to the extensive use of your vocal cords. With the adrenaline coursing through your veins you couldn't help but shake with anticipation of what your future will bring to you.

After all, You finally felt-

Free.

__________________

After the ceremony ended, the crowds started to venture out causing you to lose grip of Kuroos hand resulting in you getting separated and lost in the crowds of people, occasionally bumping into passer-Byers before finally weaving your way out to the parking lot. The moon shined down on you as you walked through the parking lot, dodging cars left and right trying to figure out where Kuroo parked before you felt a considerably large hand grab onto your wrist, pulling your figure back in the process only for your back to land on the mystery person chest.

"YOU IDIOT!" You yelled meeting Kuroos cat-like eyes, still shaking from the adrenaline high and you're now frightened conscious.

"Hey, I was just teaching you a lesson to be more alert." He matter-of-factly said, while making quick hand gestures to accommodate his point.

"Yea yea," You rolled your eyes stomping your feet against the concrete while following Kuroo to the parking spot where his car resided in. "Just open this stupid-ass car so we can go get ramen."

"Yes, Ma'am," Kuroo said, doing a little salute before unlocking the car, showing off his signature shit-eating smirk. You rolled your eyes again in acknowledgment before slipping off your graduation gown and cap, tossing it in the back as Kuroo did the same.

Finally arranging your stuff on the car floor and putting on your seatbelt you turned to look at Kuroo.   'Dayum'   You thought, ' He looks like one of those ugly fish things.'  You snickered to yourself while Kuroo plugged in his phone to the AUX, glancing up at you before unlocking his phone.

"What so funny?" He asked in a monotonous voice, eyes glued to his phone as he scrolled through Spotify trying to find a suitable playlist for the current mood.

"Ohhh, nothing." You smiled to yourself while looking out the passenger window watching other people slowly filter out of the parking lot.

Kuroo shrugged as a response before pressing play on his 'Bad Bitch' playlist and tossing his phone into the cupholder. Immediately after, his right foot pressed down on the clutch, using his left hand to switch the gear into 'R' before placing the same hand on the back of your chair to get a better view while backing out. You watched him shift into first gear as he slowly exited the parking lot, the purr of his car staying steady. After sorting through the mess of cars, he merged onto the main road continuously shifting up and down passing all sorts of cars in order to get to your guys' destination quickly.  

You looked out the side window, watching Kuroo drive through the city, flashing neon lights blurring past you. As if the moment wasn't already perfect, 'Boss Bitch' by Doja Cat came on. You and Kuroo shared a small knowing glance as he turned the volume all the way up, bass booming through the busy streets of Tokyo as you both began to scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Kuroo started to accelerate even faster, adrenaline pulsating through you guys' veins. You looked over at Kuroo, his eyes fixated onto the road, still singing while he pressed down on the clutch once more, shifting into second gear while turning into a little parking garage located across the street from your destination. Finding the nearest available spot you two hastily jumped out, stomachs taking control of both of your bodies as you two raced across the street trying to get to the little shop as fast as you could, and lucky for you two, there was no one inside.

"Yes!" You breathlessly cheered, taking a moment to crouch down and catch your breath.

"Pfttt, you good?" Kuroo spazzed out laughing at your hunched-over figure, clutching his hands over his stomach in the process.

"Why-huh- quite your - laughing." You panted, breathe coming down your throat cold as ice, burning your esophagus. while your face burned with heat, your cheeks flushing a red color.

"I GOT ASTHMA ASSHOLE!" you shouted, as you weakly punched his shoulder, still trying to get the air into your lungs. Unlike you, Kuroo was the captain of the volleyball team, constantly running laps across the gym, moving back and forth, and jumping. Of course, he didn't trip over his breath or break a sweat. 'GGHrrrR' your stomach decided to wail out as you meekly looked up at him, cheeks reddening even more. Kuroo looked down at you, face laced with amusement at your little tantrum, causing you to playfully punch his shoulder.

"Don't look at me like that! You're hungry too!" You exclaimed, patting down your cheeks to get the redness to go away. Kuroo opened the door for you, but before you could even enter the smell of fresh pork and miso filled your senses, as you entered the warm atmosphere of the small ramen shop you and Kuroo frequented.

"Ah! My favorite regulars, how are you guys?" A sweet middle-aged woman came out from the kitchen. A blob of brown hair sat on top of her head wrinkles pulling at her cheeks, giving you and Kuroo a bright smile.

"Ahh hi, Ms. Sato!" You greeted, Kuroo following with a little wave.

"So what are you two doing out this late at night." She said suggestively wiggling her eyebrows. Ms. Sato has always been under the impression you and Kuroo are dating, based on how close you guys are. No matter how many times you assure her you guys aren't, she still doesn't believe you.

"We actually just graduated, so we came here to celebrate," Kuroo replied.

"Awwww, how fun! Your foods on me tonight, you guys want the usual?"

"Yes, please! Thank you!"

"Of course, you two just sit tight, it'll be ready in a bit." She said, a little jump in her voice as she skipped into the kitchen.

_________________

"Ahh, I'm stuffed!" You exclaimed, sitting back on the bench and holding your stomach as if you had a baby.

"Yeah, I can tell." Kuroo teased, glancing up at you through half-lidded eyes.

"OH SHUT UP!" you exclaimed turning around and hiding your stomach from his view.

"Oh, Kuroo" Ms. Sato cooed, as she made her way over to the table you two were bickering at. "Don't treat your girlfriend like that." You gave her a mini glare, your eyes telling her ' Why would you do that  '

"You're right Ms. Sato, I shouldn't be treating my girlfriend like this. Sorry Y/n," Kuroo said, his cat-like eyes starring into your soul as his smile curled up even more.

"See Y/n you can't keep lying to me about your secret relationship forever." Ms. Sato said, eyes also starring at your soul.

"I-But, - Well-I, wait-"

"Aw I think she's getting tired Ms. Sato, I'm gonna take her home," Kuroo said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Ok sweetie, make sure she gets there safe, don't drive too fast." She said, her momma-bear side kicking in.

"Yes, I will" Kuroo reassured as he stacked up your dirty plates while grabbing onto your waist and hoisting you onto his hips. Your brain did stop working, as Kuroo had said. Your words failed you earlier so you decided just to keep your mouth shut and let the embarrassment eat you away.

"Bye, my little love birds!" Ms. Sato

"Bye, Thank you for the meal," Kuroo replied before jumping a bit to re-adjust you further upon his hips.

"I hate you." You murmured in his shirt, as your senses were filled with his cologne and his button-up shirt. You started to fondle with his tie as he walked across the street and entering the parking garage. He carefully set you down on the concrete floor before opening the passenger door to his 2015 re Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution. As soon as you sank into the seat, Kuroo shut the door before striding over to the driver's side. You lazily yanked your seatbelt out of the holder and plugged it into the buckle as Kuroo jumped in, the following suit. You watched as he got situated, plugging his phone into the AUX and scrolling through his Spotify. He finally selected a song but instead of tossing his phone into the cup holder, he handed it to you.

"Huh?"

"Put on some music you want, only after this song though," Kuroo said with a genuine smile curling at his lips.

"This is new, You never let me have AUX."

"Consider it a congratulations on graduating." He said.

"But you graduated to- Y'know what nevermind." You said with the most perplexed look dancing across your face. Kuroo let out a deep chuckle while pressing down on the clutch, turning off the E-brake and shifting into reverse. You felt the rumble of the car underneath your feet as he pulled out of the parking spot, quickly slamming onto the clutch once again and shifting into first gear while exiting the parking garage.

"Remember what Ms. Sato said!" You teased, referring to Ms. Satos' request for him to drive slowly.

"Yea yea." His gravelly voice came out slightly exasperated. Kuroo  hated  driving slow, just like he  hated  losing volleyball matches. He's one of those guys that has to win at everything, whether it be in the classroom, on the court, or in the street. Instead of looking out the window, you decided to watch Kuroo, how his hands grabbed onto the gear shift, how he revved the car at every stoplight to 'assert' his dominance (at least that's what he thinks of it). Lil Uzi's   XO Tour Life  came on as he sped through the streets of Tokyo, entering Narima city, where both your houses resided.

"My house tonight?" Kuroo asked, turning down the radio.

"Sure."

"Ya need anything?"

"Nah I think I have stuff over there from last time." Kuroo hummed in response, as he downshifted again, turning into his neighborhood. He stayed in first gear while slowly creeping through the quiet neighborhood, trying to keep his car as quiet as he could. The soft rumble of the car was almost like a lullaby, as it was slowly pulling you to sleep. He parked in the street next to his house, pushing down the E-brake and untwisting his keys from the ignitions, unplugging his phone before looking over at you. Your head was leaning back on the leather headrest, your whole body relaxed. Kuroos' lips pulled into a soft smile as he stared at you ' so beautiful...'  he thought before unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping out of the car, careful to not slam the door.

He walked with a little hop in his step as he came to open your door, he carefully bent over you to unbuckle your seatbelt. Slowly, he picked you up out of the seat, now holding you bridal style as he walked around the door, closing it with his back and locking it. Now walking towards his front door, he inserted a different key and nudged it open. Using the same technique he did with his car, Kuroo shut the door with his back then mindfully walked upstairs pushed open his door, and laid you on the bed only to be met with your tired eyes.

"Heh, thanks." You croaked, throat facing the punishment of all the yelling and excitement from the hours prior.

"Of course," Kuroo said, a loving tone laced through his words, eyes softening as he got up to shut his door. It surprised you really, you and Kuroo really weren't dating, or at least haven't made it official.  I've never even kissed the guy, yet we act like a married couple...'   You thought, face scrunching up, as you concentrated on your thoughts ' No wonder Ms. Sato thinks were dating-'

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Kuroo asked

"us." You answered plainly, still half zoned out in thought. Kuroo walked into the closet, picking up two pairs of sweatpants and two shirts.

"What about us?" His voice muffled from the distance.

"Just what Mrs. Sato said, y'know about us dating. I mean we kind of act like we do." You said, watching him walk out of the closet and to one of his dressers.

"Would you wanna date?" His voice sounded a bit guarded as if he were scared of what the next words would be. There was a short pause while he shuffled through his dresser, find a pair of panties you left here.

"Here, my mom washed these from last week."

"Oh, sweet thanks." There's the issue, you two were comfortable with each other. If it was some other guy and girl I'm sure the girl would be screaming right now, but no you two were different, in a good way. You slipped off your dress, completely fine with Kuroo looking, yet he still turned away.

"Haha, why do you still turn away when I get dressed, I told you it was fine remember?" You asked, slipping your bra off and grabbing the black D.A.R.E. shirt Kuroo gave you.

"It just feels wrong I guess." He spoke, voice strained.  'Is he nervous?'  You quickly changed your underwear and pulled up the grey sweats.

"Why? oh, also I'm done." Kuroo opened one eye, quickly glancing behind to see you dressed. He let out a small sigh as he turned around.

"Because I love you and it would just feel weird y'know" You looked at him. Hair even messier than usual, the top three buttons of his shirt were undone, as well as his tie hanging loosely around his neck.

"To answer your question from earlier Kuroo, I would date you!" Honey laced your words as you walked towards him. Slowly reaching your arm out towards his tie, you grabbed onto it making his head come down to your level. Kuroo gazed into your eyes, a genuine smile playing at his lips, eyes flickering down to your lips before meeting your eyes again.

"Fuck you Tetsurou, making me feel shit." You whispered, flicking his forehead and yanking his tie forward causing your lips to meet. Secretly this is your first kiss, so although you looked cool and composed to Kuroo your mind was on the brink of jumping off a cliff. The kiss was sweet? No, it made you feel happy? Like you wanted to run a mile. ' Stupid hormones.'  You pulled away, due to lack of air only to be met with one of Kuroos' shittiest grins.

"Mmm," Kuroo hummed. "You like that?"

"Oh stop being a dick." You rolled your eyes in a teasing way before giving Kuroo a little push and waltzing over to his bed. He took off his tie, unbuttoned his shirt, and looked over at you, like a little puppy waiting for its owner to throw a ball.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" You giggled, hand covering your mouth.

"can I change?" You started laughing, even more, your other hand flying over your mouth trying your best to contain your laughter.

"Whattttt?" Kuroo whined out, folding his arms and turning his head. "I just wanted to make sure your fine with it."

"I- hahaha- It-It's fine." You spat out, trying your best to breathe.

"y'know what, I'm just gonna change in the bathroom." He smirked walking his petty ass out the door.

"w-wait Kuroo!" You gasped out, crawling on the bed and reaching your arm out. "p-pl-please! I can't!" Your breaths became shaky as you struggled to suck in the air. Legs giving out as you curled up on the bed, shaking grom your suppressed laughs. Kuroo slyly sneaked back into the room, unbeknownst to you and...

"BOO!" Kuroo's deep voice boomed in your ears as he touched your waist.

"AH!" You screamed falling off his bed and onto the floor, still writhing from your continuous laughs.

"STAHP! STAHP! YOUR TORTURING ME I-I- CAN'T!"

"HAHAHA!" Kuroo laughed beside you, finding your reaction so adorable. As you calmed down, finally controlling your breathing again you looked off to see Kuroo, still half-dressed on the floor next to you with half-lidded eyes, staring into yours.

"You like what ya see?" You breathed out, letting a little giggle pass your lips.

"Yea, I fuckin' love it." Now it was Kuroos turn to be bold. He grabbed onto your shirt pulling you on top of him and held your cheek in his hand before grabbing your jaw and pulling you down to meet his lips. This time though, the kiss was different, it was filled with love and something else, yet you couldn't quite put your finger on it. 'Stupid hormones...'   Your hands traveled up his chest, meeting the expensive fabric of his button-down shirt.

As your hands continued to move up, your fingertips met his soft skin, before wrapping your hands around his neck and combing your finger through his dark locks. Kuroo slowly moved his hand from your jaw to the back of your head as well, only he tugged at it a bit, causing you to squeak out of surprise which was the perfect time for Kuroo to slip his tongue in. So he did, tongue entwining with yours, claiming you for the second time that night. The heat of the kiss spread through your body, fast like electricity quickly filling all your senses until you heard the door squeak... You jumped up, heart beating out of your chest as you looked over at the door, ' Shit I thought Kuroos parents were out...'

"Fukuuu~?" Kuroo spoke in a baby voice underneath you. A loud sigh escaped your mouth.

"What? did she scare you~?" Kuroo teased as Fuku, Kuroos black cat walked over to you, placing her two vanilla bean paws on Kuroos check before climbing onto his chest.

"Damn what's up with you guys all up on me, am I comfy or somethin'?"

"Very." You giggled out before shifting and laying your head on Kuroos stomach since the cat currently occupied his chest. You let out a content sigh, snuggling closer into his stomach. Kuroos' hands crawling up your back before combing through your hair once again.

"I love you Kuroo."

"I love you more Y/n."

______________

"Oh my fuck that hurts," Kuroo whined. You two eventually fell asleep on the floor, accompanied by his cat. Evidently, you and the cat slept great, but Kuroos neck, on the other hand, was suffering greatly from sleeping without the support of a pillow.

"Aweee I'm sorryyy~" You cooed, slowly massaging his neck, trying your best to relieve the pain. "- if it makes ya feel any better, I haven't slept better in years."

Kuroo looked at you with an are-you-serious face, before his features became washed out with love, eyes softening as his lips curled. He pulled you into a quick kiss, before pulling away and replying,

"I'm glad.

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace, chapter 9

A Manorian High School AU

Words: 2780

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

Sometimes I wish for falling

Wish for the release

Wish for falling through the air

To give me some relief

-Florence + The Machine, Falling

«So what did you do yesterday? Since you’re doing your homework last minute.» Dorian looked up from his math homework to find Manon taking him in with an amused expression.

They were sitting in the busy coffee shop a few blocks from school, spending their shared free period eating lunch together. Or, Manon was eating lunch while Dorian tried his very best to finish the homework he’d forgotten to do last night.

A few weeks had passed since the two of them had agreed to be friends, and almost immediately they’d fallen into a rhythm. They got coffee after school, they hung out during free periods, they met up at the library to do homework together. Manon still claimed she only did this so Dorian would stop bugging her, but she’d been the one suggesting they go out for lunch today.

«Erhm-,» Dorian begun, debating whether the truth would make her laugh or make him lose his last shred of dignity or both, even. Fuck it, he decided and confidently stated, «I was up watching Riverdale.» If you’re losing your dignity, better do it with swagger.

It took Manon a while to actually register what he’d said, but when she did, she set down her coffee and let out a snort. A snort that quickly turned into her lilting cackle. One thing Dorian had learned over these past few weeks was that nothing made her laugh harder than his suffering, and to be honest, Dorian didn’t mind. Not at all. She was adorable when she laughed.

«You didn’t mean that? Right?» Manon asked, suddenly all serious. «Please tell me you’re joking.» Dorian shot her a confused look.

«That show is literal trash,» she kept going once she realized Dorian had in fact not been kidding. «Sorry I changed my mind we’re not friends anymore, sorry, bye.» Manon even went as far as to start gathering up her things, but the barely-there smile playing on her lips told Dorian she was very much enjoying this.

«You just have to give it a try, it’s not that bad,» Dorian said, Manon sitting back down across from him. As he noticed a faint blush spreading on her cheeks, something in his head clicked into place. «You’ve watched it, haven’t you?»

Rolling her eyes, Manon answered, «Yes, but it was years ago. I watched a few episodes with Asterin.» Upon seeing Dorian’s smug expression, she quickly added, «Unwillingly.»

If it had been years ago…This time, Dorian was the one to break out into uncontrollable laughter. Oh my god, he thought, clutching his stomach. «You thought the first season was bad??» he managed to choke out. Manon only looked at him with a dumbfounded expression, having no idea what was so funny.

«I would give anything to see you watch season three and four. That’s when it really gets ridiculous,» Dorian explained, his laughter finally dying down. Manon chuckled and shook her head, returning to her half-full cup of coffee.

She stared out the window, and Dorian allowed himself to take her in, if only for a moment. There had been more and more of these moments over the past few weeks. Moments where she was looking a different way, moments where Dorian couldn’t stop his eyes from landing on her, moments where he found it impossible to look away. Dorian hadn’t let himself think about what it meant. Manon had been very clear from the beginning that they were only friends, and they would never be more than that.

Manon was like the sun, Dorian had decided. You knew you shouldn’t stare at it, but that was the exact reason why you did, why it was so hard to look away.

«Okay, but apart from Riverdale, have you watched anything good? I don’t watch much TV, but…» She never finished the sentence, seemingly lost in her own mind. Manon did that sometimes, trailing off to gods knew where. Dorian was certain it was a beautiful place.

Taking some time to think, Dorian tried to come up with a good show, sorting through the catalogue in his mind for something it was likely she had watched. Suddenly he thought of how she had loved reading a fantasy series, how eager she got whenever they discussed history or mythology. Hesitantly, he suggested, «Game of Thrones?» Manon’s eyes lit up.

«Yes!» She put down her empty cup. «Oh that was so good-»

«-apart from the final season,» Dorian finished.

A sigh. «Jon Snow deserved better.»

«I know. His storyline was a tragedy.»

Manon bit her lip, sinking further into her chair. «You know, I only started watching it because I thought he was hot.» She blushed, and Dorian couldn’t help but chuckle. «I stayed for the plot though. I swear!»

Same, Dorian nearly blurted out, before a voice in his head reminded him, Manon doesn’t know you’re bi. He wasn’t going to think about this now, so he shook his head and forced his signature smirk to appear, ignoring the sinking feeling in his gut.

«I still can’t get over the fact that you drink chocolate Frappuccinos with extra cream.» Smooth, Dorian, it definitely does not seem like you’re avoiding the subject of your shared fictional crush.

«Why?» she chuckled. «You expect me to order my coffee extra bitter so it matches my soul? While we’re at it, let me just gather up my things and head home to my cottage in the woods where I fly around on broomsticks and brew weird shit in cauldrons. My black cat must be tired of waiting.»

They were both laughing now, Manon’s dark, wicked sense of humor still taking him by surprise. «For real though, what do you do when you’re not at school or at dance practice?»

«Uhm,» Manon looked down at her shoes, suddenly uncomfortable. They hardly talked about serious stuff, private stuff. Dorian was ready to change the subject once more, but then she spoke: «I listen to music a lot, I guess.» A shrug.

«Anything good?»

«Doubt it, you seem like the type to listen to mainstream shit.»

«Please. And I bet your music isn’t as special as you think.»

«I bet you don’t know half of the stuff I listen to.»

«Why don’t you give me some examples?»

«Why don’t I send you a playlist when I get home?»

«Can’t wait,» Dorian smiled.

-

Gods, how difficult could it be to make a playlist?

Manon had been sitting with her laptop for an hour now, scrolling through her endless Spotify library to find the perfect songs. Nothing too mainstream, nothing too personal, nothing too impersonal. This was one hell of a challenge, she decided.

After narrowing it down to twenty songs she loved, after finding the perfect balance between upbeat and slow, between sad and happy, after meticulously arranging the order, making it not only a playlist, but a musical experience, Manon decided this would have to do.

Why do you care so much? She didn’t dare answer the question, too afraid of what the answer might mean. This was just her sending a friend a casual playlist.

Except it wasn’t. Nothing about her music was casual. It meant everything to her. Manon listened to music when she was happy, when she was sad, angry, whenever she felt lost and needed to be pointed back in the right direction. She listened to music when she was dancing, dreaming, disappearing. If one listened closely, her music revealed all her secrets, all her feelings, and for Manon, who was used to keeping it hidden away, locked in a box deep inside herself, sharing that with someone was terrifying.

But what terrified her the most right now, was that she actually wanted to share her music with Dorian. Being with him always left her feeling light and happy, she had started craving that feeling like a drug. And today…today when he had made her laugh so hard she’d had to set down her half-empty cup so as to not drop it, for a moment, Manon had imagined what it would be like to just lean in and kiss him. It would have been so easy, would have felt so good.

She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that moment, about what it meant. Was she falling for him? Was she actually that stupid?

The only solution, really, was to stop hanging out with him, to ignore her feelings until they went away. So why haven’t you done it yet? Why do you keep going back?

Besides, even if she wanted to be more than friends, there was no way he felt the same way. Sure, he kept joking about how their meet-ups were dates, but that’s all it was, a joke. Being in a relationship with Dorian also meant letting him see who she was up-close, and as soon as he saw the broken, messed up truth, he surely would want nothing to do with her. Better to spare herself the heartbreak.

Ugh, feelings.

Manon decided it was too late to brood over such complex questions. Instead, she typed a quick message to Dorian, linked the playlist and hit send before she could change her mind.

Manon: Here’s the playlist. It’s best enjoyed if you listen to it in the right order. 22:03

And just like that it was done. Manon waited a few minutes for a reply and when none came, she quietly said to herself, «Girl, get your shit together.»

She stood up, stretched, and stepped out of her room to turn of all the lights, ready to just go to sleep. Asterin still hadn’t come home, but it was late, so she probably wouldn’t show up at all. What a surprise, Manon thought to herself.

When she reached the living room, she spied Abraxos staring at her from one of the couches. Manon turned of the lights and the creature immediately leapt to where she was standing in the hallway. «What kind of cat is afraid of the dark?» Manon asked her companion, sighing at his antics. Abraxos only stared up at her as if she was the stupid one.

It was true that the cat was afraid of the dark. Ever since he was a kitten, Abraxos simply refused to be alone in a room if the lights were off. Manon found it equally confusing and adorable.

She walked back to her bedroom, Abraxos trailing her like a shadow the entire time. Laying back down on the bed, Manon picked up her phone to see if Dorian had texted back yet. She couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when there was no new messages.

«Calm down, it’s not as if he’s looking at his phone at all hours, just waiting for you to text him, you creep,» she said to herself.

Instead of waiting, she opened Spotify, plugged in her earphones, and pressed play on the list she’d just sent Dorian, contempt to shut out the world for a little while.

-

That afternoon, when he’d gotten home from school, Dorian had waited, and waited, and waited, for a text from Manon, including a certain playlist she had promised him. He’d stared at his phone for hours, like some creep, hoping her name would pop up.

Around 10pm he’d given up and opted for spending some electronics-free quality time with his family. His mom’s suggestion, not his. Dorian had lasted about 20 minutes, before he once again fled to his room.

Leaving his phone alone had worked it’s magic though, because when he reunited with it, there was a text from Manon waiting to be opened. He was so eager he typed the wrong passcode. Twice.

Manon: Here’s the playlist. It’s best enjoyed if you listen to it in the right order. 22:03

The text was written in typical Manon-style. No spelling errors, perfect language, no emojis, only periods. What kind of teen only used periods when they texted? Manon never seized to surprise him.

Dorian opened the link, finding a playlist full of songs and artists he’d never heard of before. Told you. He could almost hear Manon’s voice say it, a smug smile playing on her lips.

Plugging his earphones in, Dorian leaned back and pressed play. In the right order, obviously.

-

About an hour later, as the final song died out into nothing, Dorian let out a long exhale, giving himself a moment to just be.

He didn’t know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. It was all so personal, so full of emotion and passion. The complete opposite of what he would have expected from Manon.

Dorian knew this was important. He had been shown a vital part of her, a part he suspected she hadn’t shown anyone before.

Who are you?

It was a question he had asked himself over and over again over the past few weeks. Manon was a mystery, a puzzle, and all that music, all that insight, felt like the most important piece of them all.

Who are you?

Yet he wasn’t sure if this had given him answers, or more questions.

-

Manon listened through the entire playlist without being able to fall a sleep. She had too much on her mind, too many thoughts churning in her head.

Her phone buzzed from the nightstand, and Manon sat up abruptly, knocking over a stack of books as she fumbled around for her phone. They landed on the floor with a bang, waking Abraxos from his carefree slumber in the process. The cat jumped and glared at Manon, then turned his back towards her, settling down once more. Manon did the mature thing and stuck out her tongue at him.

She’d nearly forgotten about the phone in her hand, but glancing down at the screen, she saw Dorian’s name, her heartbeat quickening in response.

Dorian: Sorry for not replying til now but I heard through the entire thing and fine you were right I hadn’t heard any of it before and yes you do have fantastic taste in music pls send me more!!!!! 23:41

Manon chuckled at his enthusiasm, pleased at having been right. She was about to type a response when she heard the front door open, then the sound of someone trying to stay quiet as they made their way through the house. Asterin.

She expected her cousin to go straight to her own room, but instead, Asterin stopped in front of Manon’s door, slowly pushing it open. She must’ve thought Manon was asleep, because she jumped slightly when she found Manon sitting upright, taking her in with curiosity and annoyance.

«I’m s-sorry, I thought you were sleeping,» Asterin whispered, her voice cracking. The sound of shuffling feet. A sniffle. Was Asterin crying?

Asterin walked over to Manon’s bed, and Manon made room for her, sliding under the covers. Asterin soon joined her, and neither said a word, Asterin’s soft crying filling the room.

«Did something happen?» Manon asked at last, unable to handle her cousin’s crying for much longer.

«You can’t tell her,» Asterin sobbed, burying her head in the mountain of pillows.

«Can’t tell her what?» Manon knew Asterin meant their grandmother, the heavy feeling in her stomach told her so. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear the answer. It couldn’t be anything good. Had she and Hunter broken up? Had someone hurt her?

Asterin furiously shook her head. «You have to promise, Manon. She c-can’t find out!»

«I promise,» Manon sighed, clearly uncomfortable. She’d never been good at dealing with crying people.

Still, Manon let Asterin creep closer, let her bury her face in the space between Manon’s neck and shoulder. Putting her arms around her shaking, crying cousin, Manon asked once more, «What’s wrong, Asterin?»

Asterin went completely still, not saying anything. Manon waited, waited to the point where she was sure her cousin had fallen asleep.

As Manon closed her own eyes, Asterin whispered something that made Manon go rigid, the words so quiet you could barely make them out.

«I’m pregnant.»

«Shit,» was all Manon could answer. She tried her hardest not to think about what their grandmother would do if she found out, panic spreading throughout her body.

Asterin started sobbing once more, so Manon began stroking her back, telling her to breathe, telling her to calm down, pushing aside her own worry and fear, for now. «It’s going to be okay,» she whispered to Asterin, not believing her own words one bit.

A/N: Wow I haven't updated this in forever. Sorry....

But as an apology I do come bearing gifts. Not only is this chapter the longest yet, I also made a fic playlist if you wanna vibe<3 In the wise words of Manon Blackbeak, it is best enjoyed in the right order;)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3LFklksVGgX4X8LxoYzbbK?si=oC-3zOZMTC-B5Nd4C3QAZg

Also while I'm at it, a couple disclaimers:

- I have earlier made a lot of references to Harry Potter, but I will no longer do so, as I am not comfortable with referencing the work of an author who do not respect trans people. I hope you all understand this.

- Yes I mock Riverdale in this chapter and if you feel offended know that I will never understand how someone can actually enjoy that show but I DO respect you:)

As always, thank you sooooo much to everyone who takes the time to read, give kudos, like, reblog, write comments etc. For real I love you<3<3

Peace&Love<3 -Dawninlatin