Torn - CL & MV
summary: Meeting her soulmate in the middle of the night wasn't part of the plan, but apparently Charles couldn't wait until the next day.
note: soulmate AU
warning: a teensy bit of smuttish sentence if you squint.
“Why do I have a feeling I’m gonna get another day of community service?”
She looked over at Max who was leaning against the elevator’s cool metal wall, eyes closed as he thought about the post-qualifying madness. Luring the journalists outside like the Pied Piper, clearly enraging the FIA officials was deliciously petty, and she knew this fixture of pettiness and cockiness would benefit her at the end of the day. But right now, at least until they stepped inside their shared hotel room, the main question was whether or not the FIA would retaliate for this move of his.
This question wasn’t really a question to be answered, he was just thinking out loud, but she couldn’t help but step in front of him and stand on her toes to kiss his chin. “You heard what Lewis said. You shouldn’t do it, no matter how many days you get. Although, I read some posts in which they suggest a cat shelter for the location,” she added with a wide grin when he opened one eye to look down at her.
With a thoughtful hum, he reached for her hand and glanced over at the panel on the wall across the elevator to see how many floors they had left until they arrived. “A cat shelter is risky. I might end up bringing home a few,” he said with a playful smile. “So, what does it feel like to be the girlfriend of a convicted criminal?”
Rolling her eyes, she moved to stand in the door as the elevator slowed down to come to a halt, but her fingers were still laced with his as he stepped next to her. “You got community service, not a race ban,” she pointed out once the door opened, then began to walk out with her boyfriend right behind.
“Oh, so if I got a race ban, you would be all over me?” he joked, although she could tell this wasn’t entirely a joke.
Over the past few months that had passed since they met by total accident in a shop in Monaco, she learned that he could be dead serious about certain things. If it meant that she would love him more, he would probably go out and commit war crimes on the track for her. When she stopped in front of the door, she looked up at him with a sweet smile. “Well, I was planning to be all over you once we stepped inside the room, but if you insist, I can wait until that happens,” she said with a shrug.
Max let out a deep growl as he hurriedly forced his keycard into the slot, then dragged her inside just enough to close the door and push her back against it. His lips crashed into hers without the hint of hesitation, hands moving down her sides to reach under her yellow mini sundress and see if she wanted him just as much as he needed her after today. She moaned into his mouth when he slid his fingers between her wet folds, teasing her just enough to get her to move her hips a little, silently begging for more than that.
She didn’t have to ask twice, he happily provided his services to satisfy her in every way possible, and she was also keen to make him feel a little better after today’s events. They made a good pair in and out of bed, with him taking his time showing her the things he loved, explaining some things about F1 that she hadn’t known before, and he was overall the sweetest and most honest man she had ever met.
This was the very first race weekend she attended as his girlfriend, while today was the very first day when she visited the track with him. Their relationship was nothing new, his fans had already seen photos of the two of them together, but there was still something that stirred up her feelings, making her nervous from the pressure of performing well on his side. Could she live up to the expectations? Could she be the perfect girlfriend for him?
For now, she decided to enjoy every second of this. She tried to close out every doubt, every small voice in the back of her mind telling her she wasn’t good enough. And as they were in bed with Max’s chest pressed to her back, an arm protectively wrapped around her waist, she began to believe that maybe this could be something good. He could become her home eventually. Maybe he could love her the way she always yearned to be loved.
She woke up at one point in the night, feeling cold from the lack of physical contact. As she opened an eye to see if he was even in bed with her, she noticed a few strange things. Firstly, she didn’t have a comforter covering her. This could be explained, of course, maybe she kicked it off. Secondly, Max wasn’t there and she didn’t hear any movement from around her. Thirdly, this wasn’t their room. It was a hotel room, she could tell, but there were things missing that gave away that she wasn’t where she was supposed to be.
Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and took a look around, only to find a figure standing by the window with their back to her. The broad shoulders gave away that it was a man, wearing sweats and a white shirt, although she couldn’t quite make out their face in the dark. Who could it be? She didn’t dare to say a word, not when all she could think about was how she ended up here, how this man could take her from Max’s side without a problem.
Suddenly he let out a long sigh and turned around, looking genuinely surprised to find her there. “Oh, you came!” he exclaimed happily, slowly moving closer to the bed.
“C–came? I didn’t, you brought me here, I should–Wait,” she suddenly interrupted herself, “Charles?!”
A shy smile appeared on his lips when he turned on the light on the nightstand by her side, then kneeled next to the bed with his forearms resting on the side of the mattress. “You don’t remember, do you?”
She had absolutely no idea what she was supposed to remember, but… Strangely, she didn’t feel like screaming for help or darting out of the room. If anything, she felt safe, maybe even safer than she did in her boyfriend’s arms. There was something about the way Charles’s green eyes were watching her, full of a level of familiarity that she couldn’t quite place.
Charles licked his lips, then let out a soft sigh. “I know you can teleport. You know what they say about those who can do it, right?” Of course, she thought, they are the ones who have a soulmate, someone they can meet whenever and wherever they are. “But you never teleported to Max, and he never came to you either, correct?” he voiced her next thought.
Shaking her head, she pulled up her knees and rested her forehead against them. This was so confusing. Charles said that it was her who came to him, but how could that be possible? As a child, she did have another kid she visited often, someone who also came to see her sometimes, but that was a long time ago and they hadn’t met since then. So, if she had that kid in her life, the one who could just as well be her soulmate, what was she doing here with him?
As if he could sense her turbulent thoughts, Charles gulped loudly, then stood up to sit down next to her, a hand landing on her back to rub it in a soothing manner. “That boy’s name was Marc.” Her gaze landed on him, eyes opened wide from the surprise, but she still managed to nod. Before she could ask how he knew that, he flashed a small smile at her then went, “My full name is Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc. I… had a phase at the time when I wanted my friends to call me Marc. Don’t ask why,” he explained with a forced laugh to lighten the mood.
A mix of strong emotions rushed through her body while her brain tried to process the fact that the boy who was supposedly her soulmate was the same guy who was now staring at her with those familiar green eyes. Because now that she looked into them, taking her time to examine them, she realized that she had seen them before, and not just on a photo or a video. And suddenly, without registering what she was doing, she smacked his head.
“Ouch! Why did you do that?” he asked as he rubbed the spot where her hand met his skull.
“If you really are my soulmate as you claim, where the hell have you been all this time?!” she said angrily, eyes narrowed at him. She was mad, yes, because back then she had been certain that boy was special, she could feel it even as a child, but then he stopped coming, and she couldn’t reach him anymore, so she began to assume he was nothing more than an imaginary friend. And now here he was, all those years later, telling her all this when he knew perfectly well she had a boyfriend. “And why now? I’m happy with Max, what do you want from me?”
At first, he was only watching her with his bottom lip between his teeth, looking like a puppy that knew they had done something wrong but were now trying to get away with it with that adorable look in their eyes, but she wasn’t having any of it. Charles soon realized that, so he took a deep breath and tousled his already messy hair a bit. “My older brother knew about this… thing that happened to us. He once overheard us talking in my room, and when he peeked inside, he saw you there. He told me about this whole soulmate thing, and… I don’t know, I got scared,” he explained with a guilty look on his face.
“So why now? If you could stay away from me for so long, why did you have to come forward now?” she tried quietly.
Charles shrugged. “I saw the photos of you and Max, and… I recognized you right away. You didn’t come to the races, so everything was fine, but seeing you in person yesterday? That was… different. I don’t know about you, but for me there was a spark, a rush of memories in my mind, and I couldn’t ignore it. I just want to talk. If you don’t want to leave him, that’s fine, but I wanted to make sure I have a final answer from you. Say no, and I’ll stay away,” he told her, his voice cracking a little.
In all honesty, she was way too confused to have a final decision about this. Yes, she was a little angry that he had disappeared for so long, and she did love Max, but missing the chance to be with her soulmate? There had to be a reason why fate brought them together, who was she to resist? Was it even possible to resist this forever? With a groan, she buried her face in her hand and tried to pull herself together. “Can I give you an answer some other time? This is too much, I can’t think straight,” she asked before glancing up at him.
Nodding, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, but he didn’t pull away, he stayed so close to her that she could feel his hot breath on her chin when he looked her in the eye. “Take your time, mon coeur.”
As she let out a sigh, her brain moved on to an important question. “So… How exactly do I get back to my hotel room?” she wondered out loud.
“You don’t know?” Without hesitation, she shook her head. Charles reached out to swipe a strand of hair back behind her ear, but his eyes never left hers. “I assume you haven’t done this in a long time. Just relax and think about going back to that place.”
“We haven’t met since we were kids, how can you remember this?”
With a gulp, he finally moved away. “It doesn’t matter.” She gave him a serious look, one that quickly made him talk. “The fact we didn’t talk doesn’t mean I haven’t… been around. I occasionally checked on you, but I never dared to talk to you. You were happy without me, I didn’t see the point of ruining it for you,” he admitted.
She let out a long sigh as she thought about this. All the times she felt like someone was watching her, all the times this made her feel good instead of freaked out now seemed to make sense. It was all because of him. He was there for her, even when she didn’t know that. With a nod, she was ready to put this behind her and focus on her breathing with her eyes closed. In and out, over and over again, until her mind was clear enough to take her home to her boyfriend.
A few seconds later she was back in the familiar room, sitting on the edge of the now empty bed. She looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand to see what time it was, and it was odd that Max wasn’t sleeping. The bathroom was dark, there was no light seeping through the small space under the door, but if he wasn’t there, where the hell could he be? His phone wasn’t there either, so she looked at her own and saw a bunch of missed calls from him.
Without hesitation, she hit the call button and waited until she heard the familiar voice from the other end of the line. “Schatje, where the hell are you? You weren’t in the room and you didn’t answer your phone,” he said worriedly.
“I’m in our room now,” she replied, her mind in overdrive as she tried to think of an explanation. “Sorry, I think I started sleepwalking again. Haven’t really happened since I was a kid,” she lied, her heart already hurting from the fact she had to be dishonest. Max didn’t deserve this, so fuck, it was hard to keep the truth from him.
She could hear a sigh of relief from him. “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”
“Okay, I’ll be waiting.”
While she waited, she had time to think. She loved Max, they were good together, but having a soulmate was rare. Should she really give up the chance to see what it was like to be in a relationship with your own? With someone who loved you unconditionally, someone who could be there anytime you needed them? Yes, her current boyfriend would probably leave everything behind if she needed him, but that was different. It wasn’t meaningless, it was just… not enough. Maybe. She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure about anything anymore, to be honest.
So, before the Dutchman could return, she picked up her phone and looked for Charles’s profile on social media, then sent him a short message. Baby steps. Just to figure out if we could be friends first. Then we’ll see where that leads us. And soon his response arrived. Anything you want. We’ll keep it a secret if you don’t want Max to know.
This was bad on so many levels, she knew she was supposed to tell him the truth about this, but should she really tell him all this before finding out if this could work between Charles and her? It was selfish, she knew, but she didn’t want to be left alone. Letting out a groan, she lay back on the bed with her phone in her stomach. No. She should be honest. Maybe Max would understand. Maybe he would give her the time and space she needed to find out where this could lead with his rival.
Soon the door opened, and Max kicked off his shoes in record speed to get in bed next to her. “I was so worried about you,” he told her.
Now that he was here, her previous bravery disappeared. He couldn’t break his heart. Not when he was so dedicated and clearly in love. She would tell Charles to forget about her message. It would be better not to risk a perfectly working relationship. Damn, why did this have to be so hard? Why did that stupid soulmate of hers appear in her life after all that time?
“What’s on your mind?”
“Do you believe in soulmates? You know, especially that story about how they can teleport to each other?” she asked quietly. At first, he looked a little confused, but then he nodded as his thumb massaged her side. “I read something about it, and it made me think. If your soulmate showed up today, telling you that you belonged together… What would you do?”
“You want to know if I would leave you?” She nodded. “I would like to get to know them first. Why would I leave someone I love when I don’t even know that other person? Yeah, they might be destined to be my soulmate, but I wouldn’t want to force myself into a relationship just because of that. So no, I wouldn’t leave you. I would just spend some time with them to see if there’s any reason to believe the stories,” he replied. When she moved forward to bury her face into his chest, Max began to rub her back and placed a soft kiss on her head. “It’s not an article, is it?”
Looking up, she noticed the realization in his eyes. He knew. He was smart enough to put the pieces together. “He just showed up out of nowhere. I–I didn’t have a choice, I just somehow teleported there. He wants to see what this means, if this thing could even work,” she explained quietly, eyes shiny from the tears.
It was clear that he wasn’t happy about it, but she could also see that he understood what was happening. “Talk to him. I don’t want to lose you because of something you have no control over. Let’s see what happens. If you want to be with him, I’ll accept it,” he told her.
“But I don’t want to lose you, Max,” she pointed out. “That’s my biggest problem, because I’m torn between this and the feeling that maybe I shouldn’t miss out on my soulmate.”
He put his palm on her cheek and began to massage her skin as he watched her. “We’ll figure it out. Meet him, get to know him, but the moment there’s something more, something I should know about, tell me. Then we’ll discuss how to move on with this, okay?”
“Okay. I love you,” she said, her voice laced with the emotions that were still there, and still strong.
“I love you too,” he replied before giving her a kiss.
note: I wasn't entirely sure about this one, but hey, here we are, with my first story. Oops. I hope it's not that bad.
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Bewitched ft LHS
Two lovers and the adventure of dried lilac
Pairing: bf!heeseung × fem!reader
Warnings: fluff, mention of food and bacterial infection (don't question it), kinda cringy ig? hee being down BAD for reader
Song: Bewitched by Laufey
A/N: Hello everyone! This is my submission for @flwrstqr My World event. Congratulations to Danielle for 3k followers! Now sit back, relax, and read my cringey poetry.
I didn't know that much at all 'bout love before
But now, I think I'm learning
"Are you absolutely sure this will work?" Heeseung eyed you nervously.
You were trying to figure out how to stab open the extremely restrictive packaging of the box of dried lilac flowers, so without even looking up at him, you scoffed, as if you were offended that he was trying to undermine your amazing box-opening skills.
"Of course it will." You stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Plus, I did a lot of research for this."
"By research you mean the first three search results you got?" Heeseung chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his chin on your shoulder. You shuddered at the cold touch of his skin on yours.
"Be careful,Lee Heeseung, I have a weapon in my vicinity." You threatened him, waving around the dying scissors in your hands. The countertop was littered with scraps of cardboard and a crumpled up bill. The dried lilacs from Japan took three weeks to arrive and boy were you excited when it came. You almost hugged the poor delivery boy with how giddy you were.
Your monthly tradition of doing something new with Heeseung was today and you were determined not to mess it up. Ever since the tradition started, something or the other has gone down the gutter. Like last August, when you had booked a seat for bungee jumping, which had to be cancelled due to heavy rains. Or the February of the year passed, when you wanted to make a bundt cake with him, which unfortunately never came out of the pan due to the absence of butter.
But this time was different, you thought. This time, nothing could go wrong. After all, how can making lilac tea out of scratch ever go wrong in any possible way? There was no butter and no rain, except for the slight drizzle outside, which announced the end of the monsoon season and the start of September.
You bewitched me
From the first time that you kissed me
"Finally..." You muttered under your breath, as your hands reached for the flowers. They were tiny little buds packaged in an airtight ziplock packet. The colour was less lilac-y now, with hues of dark purple staring at you and Heeseung.
"Is it supposed to look rotten?" Heeseung asked, his eyes set on the packet that you were toying with possessively in your hands. You rolled your eyes at him playfully, and let out a dramatic sigh.
“How many times must I tell you-” You started dramatically, turning your body to face him, you could see the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, “-that cooking is the art of turning a duck into a swan?”
“Calm down Shakespeare.” heeseung chuckled, his fingers teasing you by drawing shapes on your waist, “And ducks are really cute for your information!” He put his hand to his chest as if he were clutching his invisible string of pearls. A giggle erupted out of your mouth as you stood on your tiptoes to quickly leave a chaste kiss to the tip of his nose. Heeseung’s smile only widened as you did, a slight red mark lingering on the spot where your lips touched his skin. The calm scent of the evening, combined with the quiet of your kitchen sent a wave of absolute relaxation into Heeseung’s being.
“Hmm,” you hummed thoughtfully, your eyes rushing through the words on the lavender-hued instruction manual, “The recipe I saw on the internet said we can just boil them and the tea will just seep out.”
“But?” Heeseung’s chin returned to its rightful place on your shoulder. He was like an overactive cat, which would rub itself against its owner to show its affection.
“But-” you looked worried, much to Heeseung’s concern, “-this thing says we should wait for three goddamn months so there’s no-’ you cleared your throat and read from the manual, “‘threat of bacterial infection.’”
“Ominous.” Heeseung laughed, “I like it.” He smiled at the sight of a pout forming on your pretty lips, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I guess we have to wait then.” You sighed, a real one this time, “I mean, unless you want to get sick.”
Great, you internally thought, another month gone wrong again. You wondered to yourself whether there will ever be a time when you actually get it right, when something that you and Heeseung do works out without any hiccups.
“Can I tell you something?” Heeseung smirked mischievously, garnering your attention. The pout on your lips melted his heart completely and his eyes visibly softened when he looked at you.
“I actually like bacterial infection.”
A moment of silence followed, before the both of you were convulsed with laughter. Your hands gripped the edge of the counter to balance yourself, when Heeseung stuffed his nose into the nape of your neck, effectively putting half of his weight onto you.
“Hee, I’m gonna fall, get off me!” You laughed, but he only held you closer to him, as if you’d float away if he let go, “Ok, ok fine!” You giggled, raising your hands in mock defeat, “We can make the tea!”
“Yipee.” Heeseung cried in an adorably high pitched voice, that stretched your smile out even wider. If Heeseung were to die because of someone’s expression, then he knew it would be because of your smile. It was something that could make him forget all grief and suffering, no matter if he had the worst day ever, no matter if he had spilled hot coffee all over himself or accidentally snapped at someone, that smile of yours would be there to fix him.
Then we ran down the street in the late London light
The world froze around us, you kissed me good night
“Hee. Hee. Earth to Lee Heeseung.” Your words were half consumed by laughter, bringing him back to reality as he realised he had been staring at your face, “What are you looking at, idiot?”
Heeseung didn’t respond to your words, instead choosing to merely send you a lopsided smile. “Your idiot right?” he asked, to which you put your hands on top of his and squeezed it.
“My idiot.” You said, sacrificing your toes once more, to plant a kiss on his cheek, making Heeseung mentally kick his feet in the air for the fiftieth time that evening.
You set Heeseung about to do some kitchen duties, while you carefully extracted the dried flowers. Heeseung watched the surface of the water dance with the bubbles as it heated up. It reminded him of all the times you two had danced with each other. On particularly long nights, when the moon shone in all its majesty, bathing lovers all around the globe in her glamorous shine, both of you would find your hiding places in each other. Both of you would find your home, in each other, with arms wrapped not only around each other’s body, but around each other’s hearts.
“Is the water ready?” Heeseung heard you call out. He turned to see you, carefully sweeping the last of the petals into a bowl.
“Yes, your highness.” He responded with a laugh. You tottled over to the pot of boiling water, slowly dropping your flowers in. You and Heeseung let out a collective gasp of wonder at the burst of colour that engulfed the colourless water. Hues of purple and lavender now coated each part of the pot, seeping out from the petals.
“Woah…” You exhaled, not even knowing you had been keeping a breath in, “That’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“It is.” Heeseung responded, to which you nodded, not taking your eyes away from the concoction. Unbeknownst to you, Heeseung was no longer even looking at the water. He was instead, gazing lovingly at you, with eyes so full of affection, you’d think he was looking at the last person on earth. In that moment of silence, he couldn’t help but trace his eyes over you, over every detail of yours that made you, you. The you that he loved so much. The you that he would go to the ends of the universe for, if you had asked him to.
Cursing at the moon and losing all control and crying
'Cause I think I'm falling
“This better be the most amazing thing that I’ve ever tasted or I’m never even touching a satchet of tea again.” You said, sinking down onto your sofa, with a mug of pinkish-tea in your hand. The sofa sank down further when Heeseung plopped down next to you, an identical mug in his hands.
“Shall we have a toast then?” Heeseung asked, raising his mug, “To hopefully not catching bacterial infection!” You chortled at his enthusiasm, before responding with a “Hear, hear!”
Clinking your mugs together in a ‘cheers’, you put your lips to the edge of the mug, wholly prepared to take a sip of your concoction and taste something that is equal to the nectar of the-
“We forgot the sugar, didn't we.”
You caught Heeseung’s eye and doubled over with laughter, almost spilling some of the tea onto your lap. In the midst of you admiring the pretty liquid, and Heeseung admiring the pretty you, you had forgotten the key ingredient which actually made the tea drinkable.
“Well, you kept distracting me with your beauty so much!” Heeseung defended himself, setting his mug down on the table, “How could I ever remember the sugar?”
“Do you really think flirting is gonna get you out of this?” You said, putting your mug down and glaring playfully at Heeseung.
“Depends.” He shrugged his shoulders, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, “Is it working?” He didn’t have time to say anything else, before he was practically tackled onto his back by you. Heeseung wrapped his arms around your waist and you lay down on him, using him as your mattress, though there was plenty of space for the both of you on the sofa.
“Welp,” You said, pressing your ear to his chest to listen to his heartbeat, “At least we won’t be getting a bacterial infection anytime soon.”
Heeseung chuckled, bringing his lips down to your forehead to leave a kiss. In the sanctuary of his safe arms, you forgot all about the fact that tonight’s attempt had turned out to be an utter fail. But you realised that it didn’t matter to you anymore. For in the warm cocoon that Heeseung had spun around you, all that mattered was the unnoticeable seconds that had drifted away in failed attempts of lilac tea, and successful attempts of love. In the pale cast of the full moon’s light, you and Heeseung drifted off to sleep, as the world came to a silent halt, waiting patiently for another tomorrow.
You wrote me a note, cast a spell on my heart
And bewitched me
You bewitched me
Dividers by @strangergraphics
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Unexpected things you did that delight them:
Riddle Rosehearts, Azul Ashengrotto, Trey Clover, Ruggie Bucci, Malleus Draconia
You learned proper tea etiquette for Riddle
It starts out with you just listening to him correct others as they go throughout the various teatimes of Heartslabyul. How it leads to you thrifting a tea set from a local shop is hard to say, and it’s chipped a bit on the plates, but it holds, and the lady gave it to you for a far cheaper price than she should have. But it cleaned up beautifully, you filled in the cracks with some leftover clay and didn’t even have to repaint it! It was already in Ramshackle blue and green.
It is embarrassing when he finds you quizzing yourself on the different spoons and plates, but the smile that blooms is worth it.
You have no idea that when you invite him over for a tea party a few weeks after, it’s the first one that he hasn’t hosted himself. He borrows the same book from the library to brush up on his guest etiquette.
“Prefect, what are you-ah! A lovely set. If you were needing to learn I would be happy to assist! What teas do you prefer? I will bring complimenting savories or sweets.”
You carry glasses cleaner for Azul
Assuming you don’t carry it already or if you don’t wear glasses. You and Azul usually spend a lot of time at Octavinelle but occasionally he will come to Ramshackle. He has since seen the work that you put into fixing up the place and the furniture you've built and appreciates it a way that the others can’t. Afterall, many of his own pieces are repaired or thrifted antiques for authenticity.
Lounging on the couch while listening to one of the jazz records he brought, you take the glasses from his hand when he realizes that he forgot his own cleaner.
“Prefect, why would you have glasses wipes, you don’t wear any. Ah, you carry them for me. How thoughtful of you, my friend! I hope I’m not putting you out any.”
You baked him a birthday cake for Trey
Everyone gets nervous when Trey’s birthday comes around. How do you bake for a baker? He got past the disappointed feeling a long time ago though, perfectly prepared to make his own birthday cake.
What isn’t accounted for you is pushing him out of the kitchen, declaring it against the rules for him to bake his own birthday cake. He could fight you on it, but he’s intrigued at this point on what you will make.
What he doesn’t anticipate is a simple vanilla cake with a blueberry filling, a light buttercream frosting and candied violets and almonds scattered on the top. It’s simple but delicious and clearly just for him.
“You’ve got some real potential here. Where did you learn to make candied violets? You foraged and learned how just for me? Ah, that was too much for me. Thank you.”
You clean Ruggie’s ears
Ruggie does a lot of things to ensure everybody else gets taken care of, which means sometimes he neglects himself a bit. The showers got trashed over at Savanaclaw so he asks to use yours after a particularly messy Spelldrive Practice. As long as Grim can play with the disk in the backyard with the ghosts, it’s a deal for you.
He comes out fluffy, hair sticking out in all sorts of places, which means you can see inside his ears and see the dirt still stuck in there. Offering to clean them wasn’t a big deal to you, you have to for Grim all the time.
It gets awkaward for a minute when he lays his head in your lap, but as soon as the cotton hits the inside and starts wiping up all the dirt and grim, he’s putty in your hands
“I swear they weren’t that bad but-oh. Oh that’s nice. I think I can hear colors now. And your heartbeat. What’s got you racing, huh? I didn’t moo. I did not!”
You got pictures of his family for Malleus
This man has pictures of himself and his parents up on the walls, but none of the rest of his family. So, you work with the ghost for a long time, getting candid shots and other bit and pieces and slowly pulling them together. When Malleus’s birthday rolls around, you actually feel nervous about it.
When he opens his present, to see the photo album, he gets unexpectedly quiet and soft, scanning through the quotes and stories written off to the side. You give little tidbits of how you get some shots, especially the times where you were sure that Lilia knew but didn’t say anything.
Some even had him! Silver putting him in a headlock during some play wrestling, Lilia tapping his nose while playing chess, a rare moment of him and Sebek reading together where the half fae is actually relaxed.
At the bottom are small, framed photos of what you thought were the best ones. Silver in his armor, surrounded by animals and birds alike, his sword gleaming with sunlight, looking gentle and graceful and alert. Sebek on horseback, wind streaking his hair to his skull and grinning like a madman, his favorite stead racing fearlessly. Lilia leaning against the railing of the balcony of Diasomnia dorm and watching the sunset, eyes fond and pink in the dying light.
“I can’t think of a single present I have ever received that has been as thoughtful as this one. Your heart truly knows a kindness that is rare, my friend. But you are missing. Let us take one together. A selfie, yes?”
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I’ve been thinking and have seen so many theories about what “Boyfriends” can be about, personally I think it’s about Louis, the “secretly drinking” and a few other things.
I do think they’ve been through things we will never know and I also think they’ve made some compromises to stay together, even Louis has said (about BTY) “that one person in your life you keep going back to.” Too Young he said “was about meeting the One at 18 and not being prepared and going down a few wrong paths to realize what he had and what he thought he lost” So many of his songs make it seem like there was a little back and forth, a lot of the “I screwed up they left, I have hope, we’re together.” Repeat.
Harry didn’t sing Girl Crush and write “just a Little Bit of Your Heart” just for a paycheck or for fun. People analyze clothing but a lot avoid those two songs or write them off and definitely won’t add “Boyfriends” to that mix.
Not saying they aren’t together now, but I think it’s been harder and rockier than people think.
I think people really romanticize their relationship and see it as fanfic soulmates I met him and life is perfect. I agree with you that it’s probably been rocky at times. But I think neither one has ever wanted to give up and I’ve said for years that I think both of them know they’re it for each other. These days I feel more confident they’re still together than I have for a while.
Boyfriends I think is about both of them. I don’t think Harry would shy away from looking at his own bad behavior in a relationship.
But before Boyfriends we had Falling, To Be So Lonely, Cherry… (although, I think Boyfriends might have been written at the same time. I can’t remember now). Anyway, he’s not always writing something autobiographical, but I think he’s certainly using a lot of his own experiences.
Louis recently covered Chemical which is really BTY in a different form (“‘Cause I couldn’t leave you if I tried / Tell you that I'm sorry, tell me what I gotta do / ‘Cause I can't let go, it's chemical). He’s clearly been singing “I love HIM, I hate it”. He’s used references to the other person being like a drug more than once.
But I think looking at songs like this as proof that their relationship is toxic is not seeing the bigger picture of what they’ve been through and why they’ve struggled. And it ignores every song they write with lyrics about not giving up, not being whole without the other person, apologizing for hurting the other person, working through trying to heal a relationship and learn to communicate, etc. What I haven’t seen is them writing songs about feeling empowered by letting go, feeling better now that the other person is gone, etc.
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What if... there is more to Dabi?
Sometimes I sit and think about stuff because of that I often have weird ideas, theories, headcanons, etc.
For the last few days, I was thinking about Touya and Dabi. How he was super fixated on revenge, EVEN if there were less aggressive ways to solve all of this...
And came to the conclusion:
"What if Touya suffers from DID and Dabi isn't just a way to hide his true identity, but a personality that developed to protect him and seek justice for his harm?"
It's probably super wrong approach but hear me out!
(From what I read on Wikipedia)
Early childhood trauma, places someone at risk of developing DID.
Traumas like: childhood abuse, violence, neglect, or severe bullying, dysfunctional family dynamics were reported in people suffering from DID
We all know "hellish" Todoroki family and the way stuff went there.
Touya was a child "created" for greatness by Enji.
From the very being, Enji put into Touya's head that "HE will be the one to suppress All Might himself" and since he was just a child he believed in this.
He believed his father, he wanted to learn, he wanted to achieve this goal, make his father proud, proof he is worth his love and attention because his other siblings were no threat.
Then Shoto was born, and BAM, everything burst like a bubble.
THAT'S WHEN DABI'S DEVELOPMENT COULD START.
Once loved boy with SO many expectations put into him was thrown aside like a rag doll for the sake of little brother.
Neglectful and selfish actions of his own father, mixed with Touya's obsession on being THE CHILD his father once said he was, led him to that cursed mountain and when Enji didn't show up...
That's when Dabi came out.
When we see him wake up after 3 years - it's not Touya, but Dabi.
Dabi - The personality developed to protect Touya, to prove that Touya can be the very thing Enji told he will be, a personality made to PAY BACK for all the harm that child had to go through because of bastard father.
He is like an older brother stepping in front of the younger sibling to take all the harm on himself.
It's not TOUYA doing all those bad things while chasing Enji and going against Shoto - It just Dabi.
Dabi who wants desperately show what Touya is capable of while Touya is just tucked away from all the harm, just waiting to be again acknowledged but not out of pity or because his father feels bad for his own actions but because of what he can be.
Of course, Dabi is so fixated on achieving this goal that he takes EXTREME measures - but it's all for Touya's happiness that he deserved ever since he was born.
This may make no sens, but this was a train of thoughts that went through my head very recently. The post is probably messy because I am not the best at making such things and putting them 'on paper"
Feel free to comment and tell me what you think about this, BUT please don't be mine or anything. I didn't mean to insult anyone with my limited knowledge.
I am curious of your thoughts
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One thing that I absolutely love about TFOne's writing is that it manages to avoid a lot of the heavier criticism I've seen regarding MegOp's hero/villain dynamic over the years (trust me, the mid-2010s TF discourse was crazy)
*Spoilers Below*
First of all, the narrative benefits so much from the main 4 cast members all being a part of the same exploited mining class. So many takes on MegOp have Orion being of a higher status (an archivist, a cop, etc) while Megatron is much lower down on the social latter (a miner, a gladiator, often in the context of being a slave).
I've seen many people be put off by this, because it feels as if Megs is being villianized for being rightfully angry at the system that deeply harmed and exploited him, while Orion/Optimus is praised for taking a more pacifistic stance despite him not suffering as much from or in some ways even benefiting from the system he claims to oppose. I don't find their dynamic to be as simple as that, and I do find these takes to be a bit reductive, but I do very much see where they are coming from.
I am definitely one of those people who's very frustrated with the way pacifism is hailed as the one true path of morality, and the inherent implication that taking any sort of revenge on the people who abused/exploited you makes you just as bad as them. Also, Marvel's particular brand of demonizing any form of radical political action, despite the system clearly being broken and corrupt, but being completely unwilling to offer any other alternatives to meaningfully change things for the better.
When looking at what I described above its pretty easy to see how a lot of versions of MegOp's hero/villain dynamic unfortunately fits into that trope. Bringing it back to TFOne, you can see how Op and Meg coming from the same political/social status subverts this. The existence of Elita and Bee only further illustrates that out of the 4 people of the mining class who were all deceived, exploited, and literally mutilated in the same way it is only D-16 that completely loses himself to his rage, even to the point where he loses compassion for his own companions and disregarding the safety of the other miners (when he decides to "tears everything down" and Elita exclaims he's going to "kill everyone").
What I think I love most about the characterization in TFOne is that Orion is the radical one. Not only that, but he is praised by Elita and by extension the narrative for it. He is constantly challenging authority, and is the first to have the suspicion that their society is structured in an unjust way.
Meanwhile D-16, to be frank, is kind of a bootlicker. He fully believed in the system and that Sentinal Prime, as someone with power, had the right to decided "what was best" for those who are weaker/lesser (I wish I had the specific quote from D-16 to support this, but the movie's still in theaters). It illustrate that D-16 already held certain fascistic ideals, and that he and Orion already have fundamentally opposing moral/political values, it simply hasn't been of any consequence yet. It shows that their eventual falling out was inevitable, even if they had decided to rebuild Cybertron together.
It should also be noted that D-16's feelings of anger and betrayal do not necessarily have anything to do with the unjust system itself, but that said unjust system was predicated on a lie. Hence his fixation on deception in the post-credits scene and him naming his faction the Decepticons. Meanwhile, when Orion learns the truth he's just sort of like "yeah, I always kinda knew something was up" because again, he understood on some level that their system was predicated on injustice.
Even D-16's obsession with Megatronus Prime, while initially an endearing aspect of his character, is also an indicator of the questionably large amount of value he puts on one's strength. It foreshadows the "might makes right" ideology that the decepticons follow, and is a key part of their ideological characterization across continuities.
Instead of the narrative we often see in Transformers media were Optimus is idolized by the narrative for being more moderate and Megatron is villiainized for being radical (or so people often claim), it is instead Optimus who is rewarded and praised by the narrative for being radical, and Megatron who is villainized and punished by the narrative for holding potentially fascistic values.
I do agree with some criticism I've seen that the whole thing with killing Sentinel and D-16's final turn into villainy felt a bit rushed and more than a little cliche, but I also understand it both had a limited runtime and that it is ultimately a family film meant to be accessible to children. More importantly though, I think the movie set the groundwork early on that, no matter how this final act played out, D-16 was always going to turn to darkness, and Orion would not have been able to stop him.
Its perfectly tragic, the way all MegOp should be, while also feeling really well thought out from a thematic standpoint. I love it.
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grins mischievously and rubs my hands together like a fly
i think human ink would frequently get bored of his hair color and hair style, trying out lots of different things!! he would definitely forget to maintain the dyejob tho so his white roots get REALLY bad until he dyes it again LMAO
while his dads aren't japanese (zephyr is french and idrk about undertop), they enjoy ink showing them japanese culture and participating in traditions and such :-)
ink, since they're immortal, decided he would dedicate his freetime into learning a bunch of different cultures and languages! this always tends to surprise others, since ink's short-term memory is absolute garbage. nobody understands how he remembers EVERYTHING about EVERY culture 😭😭🙏 you CANNOT keep a secret from this mofo no matter what language you speak
i think they would keep a digital diary with a camera! he records important events/moments so they can always look back at them, since he forgets a lot. his camera is mostly filled up with memories with their dads 🫶
ink LOVESS to bake!! he enjoys trying out different recepies and pastries from all around the world, but his favorites are macarons. he enjoys cooking as well, but moreso appreciates baking because of the exact instructions/measurements. (he is autistic like me and needs clear instructions or he will combust real and true trust me on this)
he has WAY too many hobbies for a normal person to keep up with. flute, baking, drawing, painting, writing, dancing, crocheting, knitting, embroidery, singing, gardening, you NAME it. any form of art, they know how to do and are surprisingly good at it
ink struggles with keeping up with his own very very busy mind. they have so many projects he wants to execute, but can only push out a few at a time. he hates having unfinished projects, and will stick with something until the end—for better or for worse.
he loves to paint over his vitiligo spots, or just painting on himself in general. they think it's fun & interesting to see how the spots shift and change on his skin, never growing bored of them.
-> his spots shift whenever code for a new AU is created, soo it's never really consistent LOL
he loves all forms of music, but holds a special place in his heart for songs that include lots of different classic instrumentals, like violin. he loves artists like fish in a birdcage and sparkbird (yes im projecting and you can't stop me)
he sometimes will drink paint out of the blue in front of others just for their reactions. they are priceless to ink and ALWAYS make him crack up so bad.. and then he has to explain that "nonono my paint specifically is okay for me to drink guys im not gonna die dw" ☠️☠️
ANNDDD i should probably stop there.. this post is so long LMFAO 😭😭 honestly most of these are just my normal ink headcanons, human or not, so take these as you will 🗣️🗣️
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Hello!
Wanted to get your thoughts on Elain not fitting into Night Court because per Cassian she is drowned out by “Night Court Black”? This also came up when Elain did not wear Illyrian leathers. One of the podcasts that I listen to (though mind you are very much in love with the red haired characters of the books, though they try to keep is unbiased) mentioned this. To me this has always been a bit of a faulty argument, especially about the Illyrian leathers because of course she would not want to wear that. Nesta was the same way. Cassian thinking that was an interesting way to word it—Mor nor Amgen regularly wear black yet he points this specifically out about Night Court. People tend to think well that must be it..Elain belongs in Day or Spring. Personally, I think SJM is perhaps pointing her to a different court all together—>Dusk perhaps???? Or it means absolutely nothing and Cassian is just oblivious to everyone except Nesta, despite the podcasters constantly talking about his emotional intelligence.
The 'black dress' comment has been addressed many times, and I can go back and kind of regurgitate the same info:
it's not the Night Court, it's specifically Hewn City
the plain black dress was there for a reason. To take all attention from her, and place it all on Nesta.
Elain volunteered HERSELF to go to Hewn City and play this role. She stated that she was 'part of this court' and would do what's necessary.
This is all canon and all in the book. So like I said, I am not going to regurgitate this info because the rebuttal of their arguments is already in there.
However, the Illyrian leathers thing is interesting.
Feyre stated that Elain possessed a 'different kind of strength' and SJM, in one of her interviews, said the same. Elain's strength, her powers are not connected to her abilities as a fighter. That's why she won't become a warrior. She is not a Blade. She is a loaf of bread. She is a flower. She is a rose in a mud field. She is a slice of cake. She is home. She is life. She is love. Her strength is that she does what is necessary, even if it's violent and cruel, and then she walks away. She doesn't dwell on it and doesn't take pride in causing pain.
However, unlike all of them, ELain was the only one who didn't need Illyrian leathers to deliver the most devastating blow of all--she stabbed the king. She didn't need any physical power to make a huge difference in the war--first by Seeing Vassa, who came in and destroyed the navy, and then by finding the Suriel with her Seer's Eyes, and through the Suriel, Amren learned how to shed her 'skin' and how to come to full power, thus developing a devastating blow to Hybern.
Elain has never been and hopefully will not be about fighting, slicing and dicing. Elain fully lives into the Nephelle philosophy. The weakest, the most 'insignificant' person can make the most difference. Nephelle with her too small wings, with her lack of physical powers also made a tremendous amount of difference in the previous War.
Cassian, the great warrior, the general, all clad in Illyrian leathers was no match for the King of Hybern. No matter his training, his physicality, his strength, he still fell, and was ready to die. But then Elain stepped out of the shadow and rammed Truth Teller through the King's throat.
That's her power. That's her strength. She does what needs to be done and then she returns to her quiet life, and continues to create.
That's the significance of Elain Archeron.
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Was your Kore/Persephone portrayal inspired by dissociative disorders? I interpreted it more as her dark internal monologue that she was suppressing. Like when you have dark thoughts of know things inherently, but try to rationalize your way out of thinking them. I figured it was just a more dramatic way of portraying intrusive thoughts.
Ahh this isn't really a question I can answer with a simple "yes" or "no". Especially when considering everything you just listed are often inherently symptoms of many interlinked mental disorders like DID and BPD haha (especially when it comes to the suppressing).
As I mentioned in my previous post I've been writing these types of characters for years. Uzuki is a big one that comes to mind. I love writing conflicts of the self, mind vs. reality, identity vs. instinct, past vs. present, etc.
CW: BLOOD/GORE, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, DEPICTION OF TRAUMATIC BREAKDOWNS AND DISSOCIATION AHEAD!!!
(note the black and grey pages are read right to left like a manga, this was from my weeb days LOL)
It wasn't until years later after I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism that I realized my love for those tropes was rooted in something far more internal. Sure, sometimes a trope is just a trope, but now I fully understand why I've found myself pulled back to that trope time and time again, because I myself have struggled with a lot of the same internal conflicts that characters like Uzuki and Kore have struggled with. It wasn't just me loving a trope, it was me finding solidarity and representation in characters who shared my experiences, even if they were largely hypothetical or for the sake of creative expression.
That realization came long before Rekindled, of course, but it hit me like a sack of bricks when it did, as any realization of an undiagnosed disorder tends to do after years of thinking you're just "broken". That said, it's allowed me to explore these topics with even more nuance and understanding, while also pointing out my own weaknesses and blind spots in the pre-conceived notions I had about myself that I was then able to challenge once I knew what was really going on. It was still challenging as it was so personal, but it ultimately made me a stronger person and a stronger writer.
Skip to the future though with Rekindled, everything I just explained is why I was so interested in LO's AoW plotline to begin with, because a lot of it played to my own interests in those sorts of characterizations - consequently, it was one of the plotlines I wanted to overhaul the most when I started coming up with the basis for Rekindled, as I was disappointed that it was forgotten about over the course of S2 and completely retconned by the trial arc. In a weird way, it almost feels like all the time I spent working with characters like Uzuki was preparing me for a character like Kore/Persephone. And conversely, writing about Kore/Persephone has helped me harness my skills more which I can take back with me when it comes time to continue Uzuki's story.
All that said, mental disorders and neurodiversity were never "inspiration" to me when I was learning how to write and/or designing these characters, but that didn't make them any less intersectional. It was more like something that just came naturally to me as someone who is neurotypical and has diagnosed mental disorders (I am my own worst inspirations LOL) and I wanted more characters like that who weren't just automatically "villains". I try to always treat them with care to ensure that I'm being kind to both the characters as well as myself as someone who heavily relates to these experiences, but I'm also not really afraid to express the more "ugly" sides of those experiences either. Especially with characters like Uzuki who are largely problematic to their core in their actions - much of those actions, as I would learn about myself in my own healing journey as well, are often spurred on by a lack of care, empathy, and understanding in their unique struggles.
There is so much I'd love to say about Kore and Persephone's characterizations and what led them to this point, but I got about a paragraph in before realizing that it would be WAY too massive of a spoiler LOL I'm really, really excited to get into it - though nervous too - but I hope that, at the very least, readers can have patience for her as she goes through everything that's on the horizon. There are times it may get ugly, even outright bleak, but that is simply one side of the coin that represents her duality as a goddess - the dreaded Bringer of Destruction, and the merciful Goddess of Spring.
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Hey, I’m sorry to dump this on ya but your blog gives me a lotta hope and I just wondered if you had anything to say to my current ails- I am but a very anxious teen and I am so scared. I see so many people talking of how the world “Will end in 2040” or how “damn the past was so much better because it was simpler” and I am lowkey starting to believe that. I’ve got a problem with romanticizing a past I wasn’t even a part of and I really don’t want to live in some awful dystopian future and I fear I’ve missed out on so much because of when I was born :( and how come no one can afford basic shit anymore? I don’t wanna have no money at all! I really would like to be happy in the future but with all the bullshit caused by social media and the lack of money it seems bleak. I’m sorry that this is such a negative ask but I am not doing so hot and was hoping you’d have an insight ? Don’t respond if you don’t wanna
Hey ya there sprout 🌱 it can be really tough out there!
Your feelings are valid, so valid in fact that those exact feelings are why Solarpunk as it currently exists is around! We've all been there!
Between the wages of the top 10% of ppl vs everyone else being greater then during the French revolution, the average citizen globally being worse off then when the great depression was happening, climate crisis after crisis, all while consuming endless bits of info both horrifying (ex Politics) and hopeful (ex Social Media activism) it's waaaay too much for anyone to bare alone! Much less constantly! That burden shouldn't be on any of us!! But since it is, I'm here to help at least lighten the load even if temporary.
The best thing to do when we feel like this is to stop. Find 5 minutes to be still. We are fight/flight/fawn creatures and we will only loop in our solutions without actual clear choices if we don't Chill Out. We're mammals our natural state is Chilling Out and Play.
Next, think about how cool the planet is and particularly how cool humans are?
How there's finger flutes on ceilings thousands of years old, smaller then average indicating that parents held their children up to draw on the ceilings.
Think about the invention of looms and spinning fibers! What other creature could do that? Think about the kids that could build Snowmans without aching fingers because of lovingly knit mittens.
We sing like whales do, like birds do, like wolves do, and we do it to share stories and ideas over food! It is the first things babies mimic! We have songs so old we no longer know their origin just that they came from love! We even have songs to herd cattle meaning music transcends just us but bleeds into our relationships with the planet!
That we have play behavior! Just like wolves and foxes and whales and octopus it is so built into our DNA to play its generally how we learn things! This ranges from agriculture (children tossing seeds around, blowing on dandelions!) To chores (parachute games > folding laundry, playing pretend > usually chores/job based) to hunting (tag! Hide and seek!)
Think about our interconnectiveness with the planet too, how we are guided by Honey guides to find abandoned hives to share in the spoils of bread and honey. How Sweetgrass needs us to flourish, how berries and nuts need us to spread across the land, how we fix other animals broken bones and beaks and help them return home when otherwise they wouldn't ever get home.
Now that you can remember we deserve to be here, that you deserve to be here. We can look at the current situation and bare it.
And we do that by doing small things. Jam out and listen to music while picking up litter on your block, go to a library and just hang out or research something you love, make seed Bombs and toss them I to abandoned lots, make silly cartoons. Whatever it is, it will be enough.
The weight of the world isn't ment for the individual no matter how much Capitalism and Elites will try and guilt you over their failures. That weight is ment for collective groups, but your job as a Person is to be happy where you can and to be kind so others can be happy. The last thing that I always keep in my heart is a quote from my fave author Ursula Le Guin:
Hang in there, a brighter tomorrow is gunna happen. I promise 🌻
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thinking about and feeling deep gratitude for the fic authors who created works they will likely never know the full impact of. The fics that live in my mind for years on and that my brain still attaches so many associations to; that I still periodically and vividly recall specific moments from despite being years out from the fandoms of origin. Fics that have grown lives of their own within me and have practically become benchmarks in the timeline of my life. Fics I’ve returned to for comfort and escapism after destabilizing life events. Fics I’ve learned new things about the world from! Fics I can still quote passages from.
Fic authors— your story may be that fic for someone (or many someones!) out there who may not even know how to reach you anymore but who live with an imprint of your world and your characters and your love story on their psyche forever. Your headcanons may have become baked into their actual canon! Your work is a part of the fabric of their being!
Thank you fic authors with jobs thank you fic authors with kids thank you fic authors managing courseloads thank you fic authors who meticulously outline their stories for months on end thank you fic authors who do extensive research so they can worldbuild effectively thank you fic authors who love their characters so much they just have to do right by them thank you generous wonderful fic authors who do all of this for fun and for free and who leave their works up and accessible even if they themselves may have moved on thank you fic authors <3 <3 <3
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
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💙🌌💀🌌💙
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
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something i love discussing with others is the different ways people experience kin bc its so interesting the vastness of how everyones personal experiences with it can be. i really dont get people that will be like "kin is only ever LIKE THIS! everyone else is fake!" or trying to act like people with kin past lives (or anyone that "takes kinning too seriously") are crazy. like just!!! how do yall not enjoy the vast and unique experiences of other people!! how do they not fascinate you!!! its INSANE to me
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