#(( is proud to be her crocodile

[sinsirellaxx]

Slytherin Boys – How they manipulate you into forgiving them after f*cking up

Warning: Toxic boys alert 🚨

Mattheo …

… will definitely use his puppy dog eyes to his advantage as he tilts his head forwards, his curls falling into his eyes as he guiltily looks at you. When he finally has your attention, he will slowly pull you into his chest by your hips, while mumbling apology after apology.

If you forgive him, he will passionately kiss you before peppering your whole face with wet kisses.

If you don’t forgive him and push him away, his whole demeanor will change: head tilted back, eyes narrowed and a deep frown on his face. “Baby, you know I’ve ruined you for anyone else. No one else will want you.” He’ll speak lowly, his voice barely above a whisper as he lifts his hand to stroke over your cheek with his knuckles. “Do you want to stay mad and risk what we have?”  Your eyes widen at the silent threat, your shoulders falling as you let him pull you back into his arms. “Thought so.”

Theodore …

… would turn the tables. He would gaslight you into believing that he is the actual victim – that you hurt him.

He silently stares at you as you angrily turn around to leave his room. He follows after you quickly and pushes the door close again with one of his hands, his chest pressing you against the now closed door. “You can’t leave me. You know you can’t, bella.” He bends down to whisper into your ear, his hot breath tickling your sensitive skin, as his free arm snakes around your stomach.

“It is your fault to begin with …” He presses a lingering kiss right behind your ear. “You’ve been neglecting me. I’ve been so lonely and hurt, while you spent so much time with your friends.” Theodore’s fingers played with the buttons of your shirt, “Would you have liked it if I had abandoned you like you did?”

Lorenzo …

… even though he is nothing like the overly sweet boy most people believe him to be, he uses that image to make you look and feel bad. He will put on a whole performance in public and start crying – full on sobbing, with flowers in his hands. If that is not enough to make you forgive him, he will get down on his knees, loudly apologizing while professing his undying love for you. “You know I love you more than anything, please forgive me!”

By that point students will have gathered around you, observing the scene playing out in front of them while murmuring about how pitiful the boy was. He was such a sweetheart, right? You should definitely forgive him. The voices of the others and the way Lorenzo clung onto your skirt with crocodile tears running down his cheeks drive you into a tight spot until you finally ask him to stand up under the pressure of the judging eyes of the student body.

“Do you forgive me?” He whispers hopefully as he stands up to look at you with big eyes. He immediately pulls you into a tight hug the moment you nod hesitantly, hiding his face in your hair as he smirks to himself.

Draco …

… would use his status to threaten you into forgiving him.

Draco surprises you with an apology-picnic at the lake with the biggest bouquet of red roses anyone had ever seen in his hands. Anyone else would think he was about to propose with the way he had decorated everything and dressed up for the occasion. He slowly walked up to you apologizing while handing you the flowers. “I really am so sorry … you have to believe me.”

If you try to push the flowers back into his hands and reject his apology, he will forcefully push them back into your arms, the corner of his lips turned downwards into a frown. “It would be too bad if your father lost his job in the ministry just because his daughter was too proud to forgive her dear boyfriend.”

He grits out furiously, leaving you with no choice. His face relaxes as you accept the flowers, his hands cupping your cheeks to pull you into a chaste kiss. “Let’s enjoy the picnic darling, shall we?”

Blaise …

… knows he is seen as one of the most unproblematic male students at Hogwarts and he will take advantage of that: he will have his friends spread rumors about how you ruined the relationship because you cheated on him with the most disliked student of your house. Blaise knew you would not be able to endure the onslaught of hate you’d get from your housemates and friends – it would just be a matter of time until you came back running to him, begging him to help you with the nasty rumors circulating around the school.

“You know I hate seeing you hurt,” Blaise sighed, lifting his hands to brush the tears on your face away. “You know I would do anything to protect you from any harm – but you are not my girlfriend anymore … it is not my place to protect you. You told me yourself that you didn’t need me anymore, right?” He pulled his hands away as he watched more tears roll down your cheeks. Blaise bites the inside of his cheek to hide the smirk as you started begging for his forgiveness – begging for him to take you back. Oh, how the tables have turned.  

[bby-deerling]

one piece men: when you're jealous (vol. iii)

as promised, the cross guild edition of these jealousy headcanons! these are suggestive, (especially in crocodile's part)

ft. buggy, mihawk, crocodile

vol. i (zoro, sanji, law) || vol. ii (luffy, ace, kid)

masterlist

buggy

buggy the clown is a slut for praise, there's no way around it. though he's painfully insecure at his core and is of the opinion that he had gotten insanely lucky to even have had the opportunity to be in your presence, let alone date you, he sometimes succumbs to the allure of soaking in the admiration of others. being told he's flashy and talented and fearsome is like a drug to him, but sometimes a woman will go too far and leave you feeling left behind and stewing in the corner as you watch the scene play out.

buggy is surprisingly good at cutting things off when they start to go past the point of simple praise and dip into flirtation; once he picks up on the woman's interest, he's quickly scanning the room until he finds you, sending his hand over to yank you towards him.

you're a part of his life, and his bombastic nature means he will show you off in a glaringly obvious way; it dispels any and all uneasiness that had been building in your stomach to see buggy so proud of you that he shoves your "flashing beauty" in the face of anyone who looks at him funny.

he struggles a lot with not feeling good enough for you, so the last thing he wants is to make you experience those same feelings. he's willing to give you as much reassurance as you need (both verbally and physically—he is still, at his core, a perverted clown) until you feel secure in his arms again.

mihawk

mihawk had brought you with him on a job for the world government; he had tended to business rather quickly, and had made plans to meet you in the lobby of the hotel you were staying at afterwards. evidently, you were still getting ready; by the time you make your way down the stairs, a woman is sitting beside mihawk, desperately vying for his attention. a bored expression graces his face, but that doesn't expel the feelings of jealous that crop up in your chest when she places her hand on his knee.

he is irritated that you're placing distrust in him, and is a little miffed that you think he would even consider an offer from someone else. it had been difficult enough to get him to succumb to your attempts to woo him, so why would it be any different with some meaningless stranger? mihawk is a man that only gets involved with things he deems worthwhile, and the insinuation that he would throw something meaningful away leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

he gives you the silent treatment, unwilling to admit any fault—he hadn't been the one flirting, after all. if anything, he feels like he is owed an apology. for better or worse, mihawk is a man of his principles and refuses to budge.

however, after a few days he loses interest in having a disagreement with you and grows bored. after a tense conversation about expectations and boundaries, both of you give a little, and come to a compromise to avoid an argument like this in the future. he feels much better now that your head is resting in his lap; he'd feel even better if you dropped to your knees in front of him, but he lets the idea leave him with a deep sigh—that would almost certainly be pushing it right now...

crocodile

women taking interest in crocodile was a given, seeing how tall, dark, and handsome he was; however, it was impossible for you to take their advances on him with anything but frustration and scorn—especially when the hopeful romantic hanging on your partner's arm is a potential business associate. it's too much to watch as she coos and traces her fingers along his hook, the hook that's meant to pull you by the waist and drag you towards him.

when he finds you moping in your shared bedroom, he lets out a sigh of disappointment. there's a hint of confusion in his exhale; you'd seen him lie, scam, gamble, and take lives, but this is where you draw the line, somehow. "it's just business, dear. you know better than to act like this." he says as he crawls into bed next to you, extinguishing his cigar in the ashtray on your nightstand.

as he ruminates on it more, he supposes it was only a matter of time until his possessive streak rubbed off on you—he'd killed men before for merely looking at you with a hint of disrespect in their eyes, after all. deep down it pleases him, that the hold you had on each other was mutual, though he struggles to find the words to express that sentiment.

he doesn't directly apologize, but the way he holds you is firm, secure, and a silent reassurance that he's yours. still, you refuse to even look at him, gaze fixed towards the wall. he lets out a deep sigh that turns into a dark chuckle. "don't be like that. you want me all to yourself—now you've got me." he says huskily, rolling you over to face him, knowing you'll soon be nothing more than putty in his hand.

[puranami]

✿ It's The Little Things - 3 ✿

A/N: @leafyturtle come get y'all Franky and Robin fluff! I'm excited for this one, lotsa faves in here >:3c

Summary: Little relationship things with (currently) anime/manga exclusives ✿

Characters: Franky, Robin, Law, Kid, Killer

Content: SFW, G/N reader, language in Kid's (bc it's Kid lol) bottomless fluff ✿

(Part 1 - Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji) (Part 2 - Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk) (Part 4 - Crocodile, Rosinante, Doflamingo)

Franky

✿ Multiply his self-aggrandizing by 100, and that's how he sees you; he is your personal hype man! Every single insecurity, no matter how big or small, will be kissed away, because you are perfect, and you should definitely tell people as such. Wait, you're too shy and don't want to? No worries, Franky's got you, and he'll tell everyone himself. Loudly. No, he won't stop or tone it down; "The world needs to know how super you are!" He loves when you hype him up in turn, and uses it to show you how great self confidence is; and it will rub off on you. He's so proud when you declare how amazing you are, even if it's just to him! "AOW! That's right, babe, you are amazing!" He'll pick you up in those huge, strong arms of his, practically crushing you in a bear hug.

✿ Franky loves to make you any and all gadgets he thinks you'd like, or need. Just as he is constantly upgrading his body, he develops and re-develops things that make your life easier, or that bit cooler! While he likes to surprise you with them, seeing how your eyes light up in wonder as he shows you how it works, he loves it even more when you're involved in the building process; brainstorming ideas, designing, picking out the colour palette, he'll even let you use a blowtorch, just, please be careful, wait what was that twinkle of mischief in your eyes? Okay, no more blowtorch - leave it to the pro! It would kill him if you got hurt on his watch, he's meant to protect you!

✿ He's made up a comfy little alcove in his workshop so you can keep him company while he's working. Soft cushions, blankets, lights so can work on your own hobbies, it's perfect! Even when you were just friends, you were always welcome there, and it's become your little safe space. It's comfy enough to fall asleep there when Franky works late, and he even modified it so that there is room for him to sleep there too. While hanging out, you'll talk about everything, and nothing, what you're both working on, or you'll simply listen to music and enjoy each others presence, and that often leads to loud singing, especially on Franky's part. He'll share his cola with you too, you just bring the snacks - can't work on an empty stomach after all!

Robin

✿ Robin is very calm and reserved, especially compared to the rest of the crew, so her way of showing affection follows the same pattern. She'll put a gentle hand on your arm, and touch your foreheads together, but her favourite thing to do is to grow an arm out of your own, reaching down to hold your hand, all while on the other side of the room, smiling to herself. If your eyes are sharp, you'll catch the delicate blush on her cheeks when you bring your arm up to kiss her hand, or gently hold it to your cheek. She'll also make a pair of arms to wrap around your waist, or shoulders if you're sat down. She'll hold you personally too, but that is saved for your private quarters or the library.

✿ Part of her flirting is making dark comments and jokes; "I know the best way to your heart, dear." - "Through my stomach?" - "Oh no, that's not very efficient! It's anywhere between the 2nd and 4th ribs." She'll say it with such a loving gaze and gentle smile, and if you didn't know Robin better, you'd be worried she was plotting your murder, but that's just how she is, and you love her for it. She will also tell you all the gruesome details she finds in her books and research. Part of you suspects that she's purposefully trying to spook you so she can comfort you, but really she just finds these thing fascinating. Robin will be ecstatic if you can match her gallows humour, or if you have morbid facts of your own you can share with her.

✿ She takes great comfort in the fact that you love her unconditionally, and that you have always accepted her as she is, morbid interests, and former associations included, and she makes sure that you know she loves you all the same, no matter your quirks, flaws, and mistakes, for that is the beauty of love! You are each others port in the unrelenting storm of life.

Law

✿ Law is so used to losing the people he loves most, so for him to open up, it will take a lot of time, patience, and understanding. You can't push him on things, and will have to wait for him to come to you - he needs to feel like he has some control over the situation so he can make better judgement calls, and do something if it all goes wrong. It's nothing personal, he just doesn't want to helplessly watch his world fall apart again; he's older, smarter, and much stronger now, he will keep those he cares about safe. Once he's at that point where he feels like he's ready to be open and honest, he is completely dedicated and doggedly loyal, though he isn't very expressive with it.

✿ He shows his love through acts of service; making sure you are eating and sleeping well, tending any injuries you get in day to day life, moving you if you've fallen asleep in a weird place or position so you don't get any aches and pains, or catch a cold. Law hopes that you can feel the love he has for you in each action. He just wants to know you are healthy and well so he doesn't need to worry about you. Well, he says that, but he still worries, he can't help it. You'll need to use his own tactics against him to make sure he actually sleeps and eats instead of just working. It won't always work, sometimes he's working on things that are far too important, but he will relent otherwise.

✿ PDA is not a thing for him. At all. It's almost like he doesn't want to jinx things with the world seeing he has entrusted his heart with another again. On the Polar Tang, when it's just you and the crew, he'll be a little more open, placing a hand on your head or shoulder, matching your pace as he walks beside you, slightly gentler eyes, and the hint of a smile; so subtle, yet the crew sees right through him, and they like to tease you both. Nothing serious, but it still gets them the worst chores in response. In private, when you are alone is the only time will he allow himself to be vulnerable.

Kid

✿ Given how intense and aggressive he is, you have the patience of a goddamn saint, and guts to back you up. He refuses to lessen himself for anyone; he is who he is, and you can either accept it and embrace him fully, or you can, in his words, "Fuck right off!" It will take a lot to break through the immense barriers he has - he will shout, argue, insult, and to get through, you have to be able to withstand that without crumbling. Shout back! Show him you're not gonna let anyone walk all over you, not even him, earn his respect, then you can build up from there. Once you've wormed your way into that exclusive club of 'We aren't Killer, but Kid still cares about us," he will be ride or die with you, and when he realises he genuinely likes you, or hell, even loves you, he would burn down the world for you if you asked him to.

✿ Out in public, you get no special treatment. It's just safer that way. He can't afford to be looking over his shoulder every other minute to make sure no one is trying to get to him through you. He'll still keep an eye on you of course, but it's indistinguishable from him watching over the rest of the crew. On the Victoria Punk he will be possessive, but not affectionate. Kid will keep you by his side, or drag you onto his lap, just generally manhandling you really, there will be no mistaking who you belong to. Once you're alone he will actually soften up; he knows he's a lot, and he cares deep down, but he's still in charge, he is your captain after all. You should take advantage of this time to get all the affection out of him that you can!

✿ You're one of the few that are actually allowed to hang in his workshop, as long as you don't bother him. He'll entertain some conversation if he's just setting up, or having a break, but once he's in the zone, zip it. He's fine with you watching him work - he's good at what he does and he knows it, but seeing the admiration in your eyes is a nice ego boost. He'll make you things if the mood hits him, particularly bits of jewellery, as it makes it easier to manhandle you from the other side of the room. He's a busy man, he doesn't want to wait for you to look his way and walk over, he wants your attention now!

Killer

✿ Like Kid, Killer has a tendency to manhandle, but it's not nearly as aggressive; he's a big guy with big, strong muscles, and he just enjoys hauling you around like a sack of potatoes. It gives him the opportunity to hold you close, 'accidentally' touch your butt, and your laughter through it all is just so sweet. He greatly enjoys your presence when he's going about his day, and deeply appreciates any assistance you can offer, such as in the kitchen, and certainly when trying to manage his idiot best friend and crew, as he's essentially the de facto caretaker on board. Often you'll end up sat on his shoulders, acting as an extra pair of eyes and hands - no shenanigans go unnoticed!

✿ You have become an expert at reading Killer's moods and expressions through his mask, every slight shift of his body, and the angle of his head has a very specific meaning. It doesn't help that he's a quiet man in general; balancing Kid's incessant ranting and raving with his well thought out, straight to the point statements. He much prefers to listen to you talk, only talking when he has something to add to the mostly one-sided conversation. He loves having these 'chats' with you sat in his lap, head resting against his broad chest. Sometimes his goatee will tickle the top of your head, and he lives for those giggles.

✿ It will take a long time for him to feel comfortable enough to remove his mask, and you can bet he refuses to laugh around you for the longest time. Just be patient with him, and let him do things when he's ready, and don't make a big deal out of it if something slips; he'll be pretty mortified, so just giving him a loving smile and a gentle touch will reassure him that maybe the things he's insecure about, or straight up hates, aren't as big an issue as he believes them to be. Telling him he is perfect is appreciated, but not effective in building him up, since nothing is perfect really, but seeing you love him unconditionally certainly will give him a boost.

[frankencanon]

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One Piece Crocodile-centric AU where at some point during the Alabasta saga Crocodile realizes that Luffy's his son, but doesn't know what to do about it.

He gets so stressed over it that he winds up confiding in "Miss All Sunday" during a moment of weakness, desperate for someone to tell him what the hell he's supposed to do in this situation...!

(She doesn't have any answers for him, but she won't forget what he has told her...)

It influences him to go a bit easier on Luffy during their fight (at least to the point that he doesn't bother using Haki) not expecting that he'd ever actually be defeated—and yet...

When he wakes up he's on a ship; Nico Robin is leaning over him. "Hello, Boss," she says. "You've been out a while—but I'm going to need you to sleep for a little longer."

The next time he wakes up there's more noise—shouting and the pounding of sandaled feet on wood. He hears a "gomu gomu no—"

And, shit.

She didn't...

She better not have...

Crocodile is going to kill her.

"How unfortunate that you can't swim, Boss. It seems you're stuck here for the indefinite future. Oops."

Nico Robin smiles. "On the bright side, you can finally have that talk with your son that you've been putting off."

He should've known better than to confide in the "Devil Child" Nico Robin—he'd rather she have just drowned him and put him out of his misery...

...and she looks far too proud of herself. Che.

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TL;DR: The Straw Hats unknowingly kidnap Luffy's dad Crocodile. ("Damn it, Nico Robin...")

[moonydustx]

Crocodile x F!Reader

warnings: a little smut at the end.

The first time you caught him looking at you it was just curious irises on top of the scar that adorned his face. Despite how little time you had been working at the casino, it wasn't uncommon to notice Crocodile's curious gaze roaming over all the employees, except this day was different.

"Good evening sir." you simply responded as he approached the bar counter. "What do you want to drink?"

"If I remember, this isn't your place." he said. Even with a long counter separating you, the shine of his hook almost stole all your attention.

"Yeah, today I traded with Sirah."

In your response, it was possible to perceive the fearful tone. He was your boss and as much as you hated being there at that moment, you still needed a job.

"Are your red eyes related to this?" he asked, the hook resting on the counter as he seemed to analyze your every expression. "Are we having any problems with guests?"

"No, it was just bullshit." You tried to put on your best smile and put the topic out of Crocodile's mind, from the way he was looking at you that wouldn't be enough. "I caught my ex cheating on me with someone else this week, they both work here and today they seemed more concerned about throwing shade at me than anything else."

Only an indecipherable growl left the lips of the infamous man in front of you. He turned his back to you and began to observe the rest of the casino.

"I'm sorry I bothered you with that." Your voice was lower than expected, but it didn't go unnoticed.

"Bring me something to drink, please. Something strong." he ordered and within minutes the glass was next to him on the counter.

In the first sip he could smell whiskey along with some citrus notes and something else that he couldn't immediately decipher. Strong but tasty.

"Make yourself a drink too. I recommend the same as mine." he said and left, leaving you alone with your own thoughts.

The second time you saw him look differently was shortly after you had spoken at the casino bar. It was the second time you had consciously realized this. Other people had already told you that the most feared look in the casino seemed to follow you for a while.

That night Crocodile had some of his business partners around a betting table along with some members of Baroque Works. You didn't expect that and you also didn't expect Miss All Sunday to come find you and tell you that according to Mr. 0's orders he wanted you to command his VIP gaming table.

"Let's see..." you waited for everyone to turn over their cards, analyzing the deck. "Looks like Mr.0 won, again." Crocodile's laugh echoed through the room as you dragged the chips towards him.

"This is unfair." one of the men complained, amidst a disbelieving laugh.

"I bet that little girl over there is helping him." one of the others grumbled, frustrated at losing all his money. Before he could continue, Crocodile interrupted him.

"Be careful with the next words you say." your body shivered completely when you felt his hand touch your waist. "Don't blame the lady for my streak of luck. It's not her fault she's my good luck charm tonight."

His eyes searched yours, a mischievous smile on his lips brought a slight laugh from yours even though you felt your body burn - and weren't so sure why.

The third time you could barely meet his eyes. Every time I opened your eyes the image was too intense to be able to stand firm.

His eyes remained fixed on your body in front of the mirror. His hook holding your legs open as you squirm on top of his lap. His hand fingered your intimacy, tracing circles on your clit while he admired the scene against the mirror. In addition to your moans in the background, you could hear your ex knocking on your door and calling you without the slightest idea of ​​what was happening.

"I bet that bastard didn't make you feel like that, did he?" Crocodile slid his fingers to your entrance, just teasing you. "I'm proud that you're mine now, my good girl." he slowly licked your neck making you squirm even more

"Please Sir." You asked, turning your face and finding his lips. Crocodile was intense in everything he did and taking your lips to him was no different.

Before you could recover from the lost air he slowly penetrated you with a finger, the cold touch of his rings against your sensitive intimacy made you scream.

"Keep it up my dear." he increased the speed soon giving space to one more digit. "Be loud let him know who you belong to now."

. . .

a/n: just an idea that popped into my head this weekend and I wanted to write it quickly. Perhaps, among the many lost wip, I will write the complete story.

[beanghostprincess]

the fact we have essentially given buggy an army of young women with issues to assign him gay uncle is hilarious, it's just uta perona pudding and alvida in his tent in his huge bed overstuffed with pillows doing each other's nails and complaining about inconsequential shit. Marines try to invade and they get fought off effortlessly because the girls were annoyed it interrupted their girl night. Crocodile passes by the tent once, hears girlish giggles as uta lays down her 15th murder plot idea for her dad that she won't really go through and leaves as fast as he can. sometimes Mihawk joins them because perona likes bullying him into doing her nails and pudding pulls out the desert wine and the strawberry cream cakes for the occasion. Alvida filmed the two of them (Mihawk and Buggy) engaging in an intense ddr/just dance,/whatever one piece equivalent exists battle as the girls around them cheered and hollered and sent it anonymously to the red-haired pirates for Shanks, who watched it so much the tape was worn out.

Look, I don't know how to explain it but Cross Guild needs more women because they just have this energy of preferring them because they're more polite. Like- I am 100% sure Crocodile and Mihawk like women more because they're way scarier than men but in a respectful passive-aggressive way they love? And Buggy likes them because they're flashy and they're even more feral than men, they just don't see it. Perona, Pudding, Uta, and Alvida are the perfect mix for them. Feral but sweet and respectful to their friends. They're painting each other's nails while plotting how to violently murder somebody. It's perfect. If a dude comes to bother them he'll end up dead and Cross Guild will be proud of their behavior but "please don't stain the floor with blood because we know you're not cleaning and it's bothersome to do it" because Mihawk is obsessed with having the place all clean and tidy and he might have a heart attack if he sees Perona and Uta's room. They're their princesses and they protect them except that they do not need any protection, they just don't like doing the dirty work. If somebody says something along the lines of "oh, so you need your three big men to take care of you" the four girls are gonna end up brutally murdering everyone that crosses them. Perona and Uta immobilize them or turn them crazy while Pudding and Alvida are like *grabs revolver* "Those three men need either powers or a big big sword to end you. I only need one bullet, loser". Cross Guild just lets them do whatever they want.

[snuggleboots]

Akatsuki parents? Akatsuki parents.

because I like shoehorning my experiences into my ninja bullshit. Hope y'all enjoy my rambling. : )

Feat. Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Itachi.

Hidan ends up a girl-dad, and a proud one at that, given your daughter is a complete fucking gremlin, just like him. An aggressive toddler that looks like a tiny little sweetheart, with chubby cheeks, gorgeous violet eyes framed by the prettiest eyelashes you'd ever seen, and hair that looks like a carbon copy of your own. Her little smiles are a mixed bag, and you never know whether to expect cute baby affection or chaos that no toddler her size should realistically be capable of bringing into existence.

Nobody expects it when she toddles on up, all tiny, squishy hands and 'awwww, hug?'s, only to turn on a dime and start biting, smacking, or pinching- all while wearing a huge grin that she must have inherited from her dad, or giggling like a squeaky hinge. Babysitters do not last, Hidan finds absolutely nothing more hilarious than seeing another one leave haggard and never pick up jobs from either of you again.

She's a natural climber, knows no fear, and loves nothing more than climbing up onto the back of the couch and waiting. 'Oh no, 'M stuck!' is a goddamn trap. It took a couple pint-sized ambushes, wherein she lunges, catches some serious air, and rams into you or Hidan at full force to learn that lesson. Your natural state becomes STRESSED. Hidan, on the other hand? Constantly entertained. That little girl can do literally no wrong, because, shit, she's just emulating her dad, obviously.

If it's possible for a toddler to be sarcastic, she is, and it's only ever when she's using her manners. One tiny little eyebrow cocked, a crooked smile and cooed, 'Oh, nooo. So-orry!' Hidan has literally cried from laughing so hard, until she turned it on him. One big, angry bitemark on his forearm later, and those tittering giggles and 'Uh-oh, you o'tay? Uh-oh!' felt just a little more irritating than when they were directed towards you. He's even less impressed when you're laughing right alongside your little devil-child.

Older kids tried, once, to pick on the little girl who laughed too loud and played too hard. Unfortunately for them, she's always had a set of lungs and knew damn well how to use them. One blood-chilling shriek- not because she's hurt, but because she knew he'd hear, and haha, there's dad. Big, fat crocodile tears, a quivering pout and squeaky, 'Oh, no!' and it was game on.

Hidan doesn't give a fuck how old a snot-nosed shithead might be, his bullying is indiscriminate and he's had far longer to refine his insults than they have. She's rarely bullied, because word spreads and it's hard for a kid to bounce back from such heated and targeted shit-talk, even harder to bounce back when they watch some whooping, laughing maniac beat the shit out of their dad for trying to step in. You were only slightly surprised, and a little concerned when your little gremlin laughed and squealed over the playground dad on dad beatdown.

Deidara drops by from time to time, and he seems to have as much fun wrangling your tiny little hellion as Hidan does. He doesn't mind the fact that she can be aggressively playful, and takes absolute delight in the way her eyes go wide and shine with awe when he shows off his art. She's fascinated by his hair, and you find some remarkable moments of quiet and peace when she's perched on the couch with him on the floor, her chubby fingers toying with and carding through the golden mane that's somehow smoother and shinier than silk. If he minds the fact that she essentially pets him like a cat, he certainly doesn't mention it. 'Awww! So sof', so sof'.' Between Deidara and Hidan's high energy capacity for mischief, his visits always end up with your daughter properly knackered, and mercifully tame for the rest of the day.

Kakuzu didn't want kids the same way a dad doesn't want the dog his kids inevitably end up bringing home. You two ended up with a daughter, and at some point, somehow, someway, he became begrudgingly attached and takes over everything surrounding that little baby. Maybe it was the fact that when he looks into her eyes, he sees a soft, sweet mirror of his own, moss-green eyes that haven't yet seen the horrors of the world and the awful things that wait within it. Either way, the most miniscule part of him that can still feel love does, and every ounce of it belongs to her. You have your share, but you know that his daughter put the moon and the stars in his sky again.

Your full-time job becomes raising her, the little lady that sees the world with his eyes and speaks remarkably well for a tiny toddler her age. There's not a snowball's chance in hell that he'd trust some random to watch over his girl. You're just lucky that she's an honest delight to raise, although that might be your own bias talking. Kakuzu does a lot of reading with her, and it's almost comical to see a man like him drawling and grumbling through a ten-paged book about a little pig's wild adventures in kindness.

When Kakuzu's balancing books in the evening and she can't sleep, she always seems to find her way to the kitchen table where the old bounty hunter is pouring over expenses and budgets. Tiny fingers count on an abacus while he counts stacks of green, and when he loses count because she's quietly chatting away to the walls and the table and his ears when they listen, he can't even find it in himself to be upset. Not when those pretty eyes turn their gaze to him and she bids her sweet 'uh oh, sorry papa'. For all his power, he can be weak in those moments that make his heart just a little happier.

Innocent, and unacquainted with the temper that almost defines him as a man, she isn't afraid of him, she isn't afraid of him, she isn't afraid of him. Never had she, nor will she ever bear witness to the ugly, vicious face of his short-fuse and hellfire wrath.

That sweet little girl is spoiled, and that's only because she never seems to ask for anything herself. So polite, for one so small. When little green eyes sparkle because they fell upon a pretty dress, a toy, a book that has her oohing and ahhing, a little cup that has a straw 'oh, wow!' and a cute little pig printed on the plastic 'ohh! a piggy! haha, oink oink!' - who is he to turn his head and leave it at that?

She could ask for the moon, and it would be all he could do to bid a slow, pensive nod and murmured assurance, 'It only sits in the sky for you.'

Hidan is a frequent and uninvited visitor, and while normally you'd find that to be cause for concern it's quickly proven pointless to worry given the fact that if Kakuzu isn't grouching him under control, your daughter has a hilarious talent for putting him in his place. Seeing the zealot sat on your couch, being prodded and chided by a girl less than half his size is certainly a sight to behold; hearing her tut and chastise him in a way she must have learned from her dad for putting his feet on the coffee table, shoes on the couch, or his drink on the side table without a coaster is absolutely hysterical. 'Stains are 'spensive! Feet down!'

Kakuzu's sweet little mini-me: breathes

Kakuzu:

Kisame takes on the dad role like he was born for it, after a small period of adjustment. You two end up having a boy and a girl, and he's practically putty in their little hands. Your boy is huge, had been since he was a baby - which is natural, Hoshigaki kids are just... big, generally. Your girl caught both of you off guard, only because she's so tiny. The sibling dynamic is chaos, but a warm one that always seems to leave Kisame cackling or grinning over something ridiculous those two end up getting into.

Your boy is like a walking clone of his dad, and even as a little boy he's already standing as tall as your ribs. Slate-blue hair as soft as cornsilk, teeth that make you grateful he was never a biter, and little gills bracketing his throat. Soft-spoken, a little shy outside of his parents, and constantly looking to wrestle and play. If you're doing something, he's a guaranteed little helper - he likes to help with cooking when you let him. If his baby sister is getting into trouble, he's either helping her do it to make sure she's safe, or he's the one carrying a kicking, griping toddler to one of you two to handle. Yeah, he's a bit of a narc- but it's always for a good cause. He's a fretful big brother.

Your girl is probably the most precious little baby you'd ever met, and Kisame is quite literally helpless against her doe-eyes and deceptively sweet, cheery little voice. Where her brother is quiet, she is loud; where he's happier to follow the rules and keep out of trouble, she's a born rule-breaker that finds boundaries just to test them. When you stumble upon her in the midst of some suspiciously quiet, pint-sized anarchy, she always manages to look surprised that you ever caught her in the first place. She looks like you, if you were knee-height and sporting tiny little daggers for teeth and gills on your cheekbones. Kisame blames you entirely for her gremlin personality.

Kisame does not discipline unless he needs to, because he feels awful when big, sweet baby eyes look at him with complete betrayal that he dared to tell them no, or stop them from pulling off some kind of crazy baby scheme that would make your hair grey from stress. Quivering pouts or teary eyes and he's gotta tap out.

Babysitters adore your kids when they behave, but Kisame vets any you hire thoroughly because he's more than a little protective of his babes. It's like they're each a half of his heart living outside his body and he honestly struggles to manage the overwhelming love and affection they pump into his veins every day. He could, and gladly would break fingers over something as minute as hurt feelings.

You hold the sole rights to discipline outside the house, too. If either of your ankle-biters act out their mischief in public, and someone tries to step up and throw in their two cents, Kisame's massive silhouette and mean, sawtooth grin are very effective deterrents.

Itachi is a semi-frequent visitor, and both of your children love him fiercely. You're half-convinced that he has some kind of Uchiha magnetism, given the fact that he'd won over not one, but three Hoshigaki by the sheer power of his quiet, soothing presence. Kisame takes great amusement in watching your little lady climb all over the poor man, and your son sidle up beside him with his favourite book to chat his ear off about the adventures that lay within it. Itachi, to his credit, never ever seems to mind the undivided attention of the lively gilled babes.

Kisame, and his pint-sized sidekick: getting into Hoshigaki-brand bullshit

You, with your sweet little chore buddy: > : ( no- one hundred times, no!

Kisame, and his tiny co-maker of mayhem: betrayed, bamboozled, and somehow? positively shocked that you found out

Itachi slips seamlessly into a domestic role, despite how long he'd been absent from one. Childrearing almost seems like his god-given purpose in life once he actually sets himself to it, and the second you two brought home your cooing, burbling baby it was on. He's happy, grateful to stay home and take care of your son, tend to the home and make your transition back to work as smooth of a process as possible.

It's an all-too common scene to come home and find the Uchiha at task in the kitchen, tending to a meal simmering on the stove while your squishy, pudgy-cheeked and sleepy eyed boy perched on his hip with a tenderness that makes your heart hurt. Even as a clumsy little toddler, he's never found very far from his dad. If Itachi is cleaning, there's his little mini-me, trying to help and earning gentle encouragement and a soft, fond smile for his efforts.

Honestly, your little guy is the most well-mannered, well-adjusted, well-spoken toddler you've ever met. He genuinely likes to help, to the point that it sometimes becomes a problem because he's very determined when there's any little problem set out in front of him. At the park, playing with other little babes, he's more concerned with making sure everyone's playing fair and playing safe than he is about actually having any fun himself. He's a bit of a worrywart for someone his age, and half the time it feels like he's the self-appointed tiny guardian of his friend group. Someone trips and skins a knee? 'Are you okay? We can sit down for a little. It's okay.' A born father, is your Itachi.

Who, for a man so reserved and soft-spoken, is hellbent on making sure his son has the most peaceful, memorable childhood he can possibly offer. Not a day is wasted in your household, even a lazy day is an opportunity to make memories and spend some honest, quality time with the people he loves most. You three can cook meals together, with your boy set to work at taste-testing and mixing ingredients under the quiet, watchful eye of his dad. He never wants for encouragement, love, affection, or little things that catch his eye; it would be wrong to call him spoiled, because he isn't, but there is little he wants that he doesn't receive.

Your secondary job is bullying Itachi into taking a day to relax and unwind, because although your son is essentially the perfect child, it's still a lot of work to raise him. Even when you're the primary parent on those days off, he's never far away, and always finding sneaky ways to slip back into dad-mode rather than actually relax. Half the time it takes you putting your son on the job of wrangling his dad just to make the man sit down, crack open a book and let himself just be. That typically entails your little boy gently chiding his father in a way you're certain he learned from the Uchiha himself- and god, it makes your heart melt. 'No, no. Gotta have your tea, it's gonna get cold', 'Sit, sit, sit. Sometimes we need to sit, papa. Gotta rest!'

Kisame loves to visit, he makes that fact no secret. For a man so massive, so intimidating, he handles your boy like glass- as if he's afraid a little rough play might break him. And your son, always as sweet as he is smart, adores the company. His questions know no limits, and he's a clever little babe about getting answers without actually asking questions. 'Can we go swimming? You must swim fast- can you swim under water? I can hold my breath longer than you can.' You once got to watch the boy perched at the end of a dock for half an hour, holding a staring contest with the swordsman who'd been stubbornly sat at the bottom of the lake's shallows for at least half an hour. That thoroughly entertained grin on the swordsman's face when he flared his gills told you he knew what exactly your boy was so curious about when he'd challenged him in the first place.

[jesterwriting]

when you have a little sister who you’re raising headcanons

pairing: crocodile x reader & mihawk x reader (separate)

contents: reader has a little sister, mature!reader, though it's vague as to how old they are, mentions of past child neglect, slight language

word count: 2k words

note: this is my first time writing for mihawk i hope i was able to do him justice. ive had this idea for a while, it's one of my absolute fav tropes ever.

playlist: slipping through my fingers by abba

Life was hard when you had a younger sister. It was through no fault of your own, and it certainly wasn’t hers either. The blame rested on neglectful parents who left you both on the wayside. You were much older than her, the first of your parents many mistakes. By the time your sister was born, you were well out of the house and stable enough to get legal custody of her. Your parents were more than happy to sign over their parental rights, neither wanting to be weighed down by another child so late in life — not that they paid much attention to you in the first place. For all intents and purposes, you considered your sister the closest thing to a daughter you could get.

She was yours, and you were hers. It was as simple as that.

While you hated your parents, the same resentment that fogged your logical mind was never present when it came to your sister. She was so young; sweet and kind with a heart of gold. There was no reason for you to blame her for the circumstances of her birth. Besides, you loved her far too much to even bother. You remembered her first toddling steps, her first words — you cried laughing when a loud exclamation of ‘FUCK!’ echoed from her mouth. How much she hated the taste of carrots but would never grow tired of them if they were dipped in ranch. You remembered how lonely you were on her first day of Kindergarten, and how proud of her you were when she came home, touting stories of all the new friends she made.

Every year that passed, she grew more and more into the wonderful person you knew she would be. You couldn’t fathom how your parents weren’t bothered enough to be in your life. Raising your sister was the most fulfilling thing you had ever experienced. Everyday was a gift that she granted you in broad smiles and pudgy hands.

Even then, you couldn’t help but mourn the countless experiences you missed out on. Your childhood was not one you looked back fondly on, with nights alone and afraid, sobbing for a mother who would never come. Those empty days when you would stare at the happy families around you, wondering what was so wrong with you that made it so your parents didn’t love you the way others did. The young adulthood that was supposed to set you free was unceremoniously interrupted by a sweet little girl who looked at you with such innocent eyes, you knew you couldn’t let her carry the same scars you did.

Your sister didn’t know what you gave up to raise her, and a part of you hoped she never did. God forbid she ever thought she ruined your life. You would die before you allowed her to carry that burden.

Dating was hard, but thankfully, not impossible. First and foremost, your sister’s opinion on any prospective partner mattered even more than your own. Despite her age, she had a knack for sussing out people’s true intentions in a single glance. You always went into dating expecting the long term. If you were going to invite someone into your sister’s life, it’d be someone who would give her the stability and kindness that she deserved.

It was hard to find someone who was willing to deal with your particular situation. Every first date, the first thing that left your mouth was that you had a child in your life and the expectations that came with that. Many left after this, though you refused to give up. You deserved companionship, there had to be someone out there for you. Finally, you met someone who didn’t balk at the prospect of your sister, and after several months of dating, you decided it was time to introduce the two most important people in your life to each other.

Sir Crocodile

It was winter when you met him. Crocodile was intimidating, so much so, you found yourself nearly shaking in your boots when you first saw him. It was your first, and decidedly your last, blind date. To say you were surprised when you saw the former warlord sitting at your designated table, waiting for you, of all people, would be an understatement. Crocodile was polite, even cordial to you, pulling out your chair for you and allowing you to indulge for the first time in a very long time. Money was tight these days, though you kept that little tidbit of information to yourself. When you questioned why Crocodile was on a blind date of all things, his expression shifted to one of annoyance, your only reply being a low grumble under his breath. You worried you ruined the date with your silly question, only to be pleasantly surprised when he invited you to meet with him again. And again after that. And again after that. Each date topped the last in terms of extravagance. It wasn’t until on a quiet night, sharing each other’s company, that he confessed he liked you more than he should allow himself. With his thumb against your lips, he swore to never let you go. After that declaration, you decided to put Crocodile to the ultimate test. Meeting your sister.

You invited him to spend Christmas with you. Even if the first introduction didn’t go well, Crocodile was too smitten to allow you to leave him that easily. A silly little girl’s opinion of him would not be his downfall. If he failed once, he would try again and again until he got it right. Crocodile fully intended to woo that little girl with toys and gifts, approaching your humble apartment looking like an evil version of Santa Claus. Considering the expensive items he showered you in, you couldn’t say you were surprised at this turn of events, though you couldn’t help but fondly roll your eyes as you approached the door. For once, Crocodile wasn’t accompanied by the scent of cigars, having snuffed his out on the ride over. You told him, under no circumstances, would you have him smoking around your girl. To be honest, Crocodile did not expect this whole charade to end well. He wasn’t good with kids, and really, he didn’t like them all that much anyway. For you, however, he would try.

Crocodile’s insistence on bringing gifts worked in his favor. The second your sister saw him enter the apartment, presents in his arms, she started to vibrate with excitement. “What are those?” She asked, too polite to automatically assume they were for her, even if she was silently hoping that was the case. When Crocodile set the bags down and invited her to help herself with a wave of his arm and a smile that looked more like a grimace, she squealed, diving into the pile with vigor. Your sister was a little ray of sunshine, with the uncanny ability to worm her way into even the coldest of hearts. She spent most of the day hovering around Crocodile, not the slightest bit intimidated by his stature or his harsh expression. Even his former warlord status had no effect on her, considering she didn’t even know what that meant in the grand scheme of things. You smiled as you watched the larger man allow your sister to use him like a human jungle gym. Though he looked displeased, he couldn’t hide that glimmer of fondness in his eyes. Not from you, at least.

Dracule Mihawk

You met Mihawk in the spring. It was a chance encounter at a local winery. For once, you wanted to take some time for yourself and do a little wine tasting, not expecting to meet the most intense pair of golden eyes you had ever seen in your life. You found yourself frozen in place for a moment before he turned back to his wine, casually swirling the glass it was in. Feeling out of your depth, you hesitantly sat next to him and tried to enjoy yourself despite those eyes boring a hole into the side of your head. With a grin that was more than a bit forced, you said your greetings, and much to your surprise, the man struck up conversation. He introduced himself, and your soul nearly left your body when you realized you were interrupting a warlord of the sea’s wine tasting, though you managed to keep your head enough for your own introduction. Mihawk’s company was pleasant. He was quiet, choosing to listen more than speak himself. Whenever he did grace you with his voice, his knowledge of wine was without comparison. Very quickly, you found yourself smitten with his intelligence, your previous nerves being replaced with something a bit more reminiscent of your school years. Before you could work up the courage to ask if you could see him again, Mihawk beat you to the punch. As if he was asking the weather, Mihawk asked for your contact information. Your heart nearly beat out of your chest when you explained the situation with your sister, worried that whatever connection with this mysterious man would dissipate in an instant. Mihawk merely blinked at you. “If that’s all. I have more than enough experience in dealing with the young.”

The months passed slowly, and as summer came to a close, Mihawk told you it was time for him to head home. If you were so inclined, he would be honored if you and your sister cared to join him. You snickered, admitting you wouldn’t be going anywhere until he passed your final test: meeting your little sister. Mihawk accepted graciously — you noticed that competitive glint in his eye, as he was about to treat introducing himself to your sister as seriously as he treated swordplay. Unlike Crocodile, Mihawk did not sully the special occasion with gifts. He wanted your sister to like him for him, buying her affection felt more akin to cheating than anything else. While Mihawk had little experience with children, he couldn’t imagine it being any different than living with Perona and Zoro for two years, so he was going into the situation with a certain amount of confidence.

Your sister was similar to you. Just like with your first meeting, your sister did most of the talking. First, asking why his eyes were that color, then to tell him all about her friends at school, and finally, how he seemed ‘pretty cool’ but he wasn’t as cool as her favorite teacher. Mihawk took all of this in stride, nodding along to her rambling, even going so far as to offer her a small smile when she showed off her art project she was going to show off for show and tell the following day. Your sister had a knack for art, and you loved her creative mind. The whole time she talked to Mihawk, you couldn’t help the fond expression that crept up on your face, nor could you control the full force of your blush when you realized Mihawk was studying you. He liked that look on you. The love you held for your sister was commendable and he respected your dedication to her. In the end, as much as he would love to have the two of you in his home, Mihawk decided that it would be best for the two of you to remain on your island. Your sister seemed very comfortable with her classmates, and there was little he could offer her in terms of companionship at his dreary castle in the middle of nowhere. You agreed, but before you could mourn the loss of yet another relationship, Mihawk made it known that he would visit the two of you as often as he could. (Spoiler: It was very often) During your sister’s summer vacation, the two of you spent those three months in Mihawk’s home, as happy as can be.

[soleilnomoon]

hey miss kaia 😼 I wasn’t sure if I should message you or send it this way butttt I’d love a strawberry-mango mai tai (crocodile or shanks) w/ songs 12, 15, and 23 from the playlist 👩🏾‍💻

hiiiii bb 🥰️ ty for requesting! i am so so sorry this took so long, but it’s here at last. also this was my first time writing crocodile, so i was v excited and wrote more than necessary but lbr i’m a long-winded mfer ok, that’s just how it is there’s no cure unfortunately; anyway i like how it turned out and if i kept writing we’d be here forever ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

2.1k words (don’t look at me), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; fluff if you count him not choking her as fluff & smut (and angst that u didn’t ask for but i gave it to u bc i’m unwell like that 😊; feat. post-time skip crocodile in denial (he’s king of it clearly), reader who is (rightfully) in her feelings abt everything, smoking, established relationship, exes 2 lovers bc that’s my jam, a lil bit of miscommunication, crocodile is bad at emotions and reader is too emotional — they’re perfect for each other obvy — rough sex, is it considered knife play if he has a hook (asking 4 a friend), a lot of kissing (hello romance), probably other stuff but idr. crocodile comes w. his own damn warning tbqh. reader sippin that clown girl juice like a champ, i’m proud <3

(if u see spelling/grammar mistakes no u didn’t 💕)

it’s late at night when he arrives at your doorstep; you’re in the middle of flipping through a magazine, the ceiling fan silent and slow, the heat a little more than tolerable as you sip a cool drink. you have no intention of entertaining anyone, but when you recognize the heaviness behind the loud knocks, you make an exception.

of course, you do, there’s no other choice but to do so.

sir crocodile is a man that takes, and takes, and takes without remorse; there’s an insatiable greed — hunger, rather — that he can’t seem to satisfy. or maybe it’s that he’s been denying himself for years and it’s finally become too much for him. a small, quiet buzz infiltrates your body when you yank open the door. you half expect to find someone else there, so you stare openly, disbelief and shock holding you in place.

he peers down at you when you stand there and don’t bother to invite him inside. he knows his presence is probably more than you can handle, but he’s a selfish man and his time is very limited right now. with a subtle nod of his head, almost as if he’s telling — no, commanding — you to let him in; he’s always been like that, wordless commands that he expects to be followed without question.

if you had more sense, you’d slam the door in his face. but sadly, you don’t.

you try not to appear too affected, but as crocodile walks inside, dark eyes taking a sweeping glance around your modest living space, you suddenly remember how to speak.

“h-how did you find me?” your voice is much too soft and timid, something he clicks his tongue at, annoyance slightly bubbling underneath his skin. maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen you in so long, or maybe it’s because he’s much too taken by your beauty — something he tried to forget but was wholly unsuccessful.

he doesn’t spare you another glance as he hangs up his coat, doesn’t bother asking for permission before he rummages through the cabinets in your kitchen to pour himself a drink, and doesn’t think anything of his overly familiar actions in a home that doesn’t belong to him when he makes himself comfortable on one of the plush armchairs in the living room.

you scurry after him, steps soft and hurried, the smoke from his cigar wafting towards you the closer you get. he tilts his head back and exhales deeply, eyes closed as he blows smoke above him — a heady, intoxicating scent that triggers memories of the nights you spent with him before.

not that it matters, but crocodile’s nerves got the best of him before he arrived; he hasn’t seen you in two and a half years, and he always wondered if someone finally snatched you up. he told himself, a long time ago, that he would wreck whatever relationship you found yourself in anyway, but the uncertainty still lingered.

do you still care for him like you claimed you always would?

it’s a question he refuses to ask you because he’s convinced that the answer will ruin his plans no matter what your response is.

when you finally snap out of that momentary stupor, you stand in front of him, eyes glossy, as if you’re holding back years’ worth of tears. but somehow, you both fall back into the same routine you swore you’d never go back to — you straddle his lap, shorts riding up your plush thighs, his golden hook cold as he uses it to lift your chin up.

you remind yourself to keep focused, to not fall for his charm again. you don’t tell him that you’ve stayed single this whole time, mostly because everyone who came into your life after him didn’t compare.

“i hate the smell of smoke,” you declare boldly, voice strained, and maybe a little needy — even though you closely press yourself to him, even though you’re shamelessly rubbing yourself against him with slow, deliberate rolls of your hips. an inescapable, irritating heat passes through him, threatening to burn him alive; already his cock gets stiff when you move on him like that. if he had a bit more sense in him, he’d just leave right now.

but old habits die hard, and for some reason, your presence alone throws him off completely.

in a good way. even though he claims otherwise.

he reminds himself that he’s only here to talk as he runs his large hand along your thigh, admiring the smoothness of your skin — the sensation oddly calming to him. the feel of his rings along the back of your thigh triggers a vivid memory that makes you inhale sharply — you remember that the last time you saw him, you were on your knees and gagging on his cock. that night he fucked you like he knew he’d never see you again; you remember how you felt like melting into him every time he buried his cock deeply in your cunt.

you want to hate him all over and never think about him again.

except you can’t, can you?

there’s a brief pause before he takes another drag from his cigar; and when he lets the silence hang for longer than necessary, you find it hard to breathe.

“and i hate liars,” crocodile says finally, conveniently forgetting that he’s a notorious liar himself. you blush and turn your face at the hidden meaning behind his words — a poor attempt to deny it — but when you look back at him, he blows smoke above your head and fixes you with a pointed look.

an absurd thought occurs, making you curl your fingers as you tug on his shirt and finally question his reappearance. jealousy coils itself tightly around your legs, making your movements sluggish and ineffective. unbecoming, utterly childish, and unavoidable — but you know he won’t listen to that sort of rhetoric. not after being away from you for so long.

you lick your lips and muster enough courage to say, “i wrote to you.” several times, in fact. you figured he was either dead or didn’t want to speak to you. a part of him wants to ask if you’re serious, but from your demure demeanor, he already knows the answer.

crocodile lets out a humorless, pitying laugh.

“it must be nice to live in delusion,” he says bitterly. you look at him, confusion evident in the way you press your lips together as your brows slope down slowly — so he just sighs, defeated by your genuine naivety that he finds terribly charming. when he drags the curve of his golden hook along your jaw, your starts beating faster than necessary, the noise so loud you can barely think straight.

he knows that when he talks to you, he has to… mind how he phrases things, and while it annoys him, he does it anyway. “do you think impel down just allows former warlords the luxury of personal mail?” it’s a rhetorical question, but you shake your head no anyway, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you grab onto his shirt again.

guilt has a nasty habit of making him more considerate than he’d care to be, especially if that guilt comes from you. it has him putting out his cigar and tossing it onto the floor; he’s not sure who kisses who first, but his lips slant against yours and move with familiarity.

your soft whimpers are a honeyed, melodic experience; they wrap around him possessively, driving him to tear through your clothes with his hook, shredding the fabric into large, unusable pieces that languidly slide off your body. a flush settles on your skin, making you feel lightheaded — each kiss more electrifying than the last as he licks inside of your mouth, tongue stroking against yours hotly.

crocodile pulls away suddenly, already feeling like the control he’s kept is practically nonexistent because your mouth is much sweeter than he remembers. your fingers tremble slightly and a breathy moan tumbles out of you when he slaps your ass hard.

the impact is a surprise — one that has you whine pitifully, arousal dripping from your slit in a way that should be embarrassing, but you’re too far gone to care. a lust-induced haze circles around him, nearly clouding his vision as you unbutton his shirt, fingers roaming against his stomach, exploring the dips and grooves between his abs. your touch is much too gentle for a man like him; he knows you deserve better, but he’s too selfish to tell you that. his cock is stiff and heavy in his pants; you relieve that ache as soon as you tug his zipper down and wrap your soft hands around him.

he watches you, amused at your focus and determination when you stroke him faster; and while he’d like to take his time with you, he doesn’t have that luxury tonight. he grabs onto your wrist, halting your movements quickly before biting your lower lip and kissing you greedily; it’s all-consuming, scalding, and possessive.

you should ask him why he’s kissing you like that when he has no intention of staying, but you know it would be an unfair question given his circumstances.

still, your curiosity eats you alive, although not for long.

he lifts you with ease and you sink down onto his thick cock, pussy tight and warm. part of what kept him sane while he was in prison was thinking of you and how much he missed being with you like this — another truth he refuses to reveal, deciding to suffer through the consequences of another failed confession on his part.

you scratch at the skin on the back of his neck the moment he bucks his hips against yours, burying most of his cock inside of you. his thrusts are quick and brutal; you do your best to match his movements, moaning loudly as he wraps an arm around you. he kisses down the length of your neck, teeth grazing your skin roughly as he bites and sucks on your skin harshly. you know there’ll be bruises and marks in the morning, but you don’t care.

all you care about is enjoying this moment with him, one that you’ll commit to memory forever.

his name comes out of your mouth sweetly, like a rhythmic and lyrical poem you crafted for him specifically. he shouldn’t care about any of that, but he can’t stop himself; and maybe he’s just tired of denying it. he tells himself that when he fucks you harder, breasts bouncing and rubbing against his hard chest; he tells himself that when he angles his hips, thrusts frenzied and powerful.

sweat glides down your skin and the heat threatens to suffocate you, both of you are panting and moaning in between kisses. you doubt your poor little heart can take much more of this, but you power through anyway. and maybe it’s because you’re tugging on his hair roughly, almost impatiently, but he takes that as a challenge, holding you steady as his cock bullies into your wet cunt. between the lewd, squelching sounds coming from your pussy and the way he simply can’t stop kissing you — like there’s a thirst he can’t seem to quench, no matter how many times he fucks you — a warmth spreads through your chest.

unbeknownst to you, though, he’s going through something similar; he realizes, belatedly, that he might not be able to let you go after this. impossible thoughts pummel through his mind, ones that he desperately tries to shove aside. intimacy and vulnerability are deadly, in his opinion, but he decides to make an exception for you — and only you.

you cum unexpectedly, hips bucking against his wildly, pussy clenching around his thick girth without remorse. you actually feel your heart skip a beat, like you’re in some romance novel, when he calls out your name — his own orgasm finding him shortly after, thrusts slowing, his cum thick and hot as it spills inside of you.

your legs turn to jelly, making it impossible to move right away, so you slump against him weakly and take deep breaths to calm yourself. he closes his eyes briefly and runs his hand up and down your back; here’s another opportune moment to say something, to say anything, but he swallows back the words, instead opting to kiss your forehead softly.

“you’re an impossible man,” you say with a sigh, blinking as you look up at him; he raises a brow at that, but doesn’t offer a rebuttal. “don’t break my heart.” you jab a finger at his chest, but your features soften when he chuckles at your demand.

another long silence follows, before crocodile speaks again, voice low, but certain as he says, “alright, i won’t.”

[nixie-writes]

Alastor x chubby!fem! Reader who’s insecure about her appearance???

!!! finally a chubby reader let's celebrate

-he never understood your insecurity. Your body was healthy, you had plenty to eat; the way he saw it you couldn't have too much of a good thing.

-but that was the issue. You felt like there was, well, too much of you. You felt fat and unattractive and feared the worst - Alastor would be more attracted to someone skinnier and leave you.

-it broke his dead heart to know you felt that way. If it were anyone else accusing him of finding a skinnier woman attractive he'd have them hanging from their feet over a pool of crocodiles but you, you were so sweet and innocent and crying, begging him to love you the way you were.

-he assured you, no one could compare to your beauty. He loved everything about you, even the parts you wished you could chainsaw off. Every roll, every stretch mark, even your pudgy little cheeks, he loved all of it, and loved you, regardless of your body type. (But let's be honest he's into bigger women anyway so you're not doing any harm by being chubby.)

-he would go out of his way to buy you a dress and have you try it on to see how you look in it. You may have not liked what you saw at first but he assured you that you looked stunning in it. He knew it would take time for you to be willing to go out with him wearing it but he was fine with waiting. He was proud of who you were, including your body, and only wished you felt the same about yourself.

[cloudy-em]

Hey, I got an idea for Carmen, if you're okay with it, of course.

Basically, the reader has an eating disorder (she throws up after almost every meal), and he tries to help her.

of course love!! i myself have struggled with disordered eating

disclaimer: the following post will contain potentially triggering and/or upsetting content. i do not write triggering content to romanticize it; i occasionally write triggering content because i recognize it can serve as a form of comfort for readers and authors. if you think any of this post may cause you discomfort, please feel free to interact with one of my other posts.

warnings: mention of food, detailed talk of disordered eating, talk of feeling ill and vomiting

xxxxxxxxxx

Being in a new relationship with a famous chef and battling an eating disorder at the same time is certainly not easy. I like Carmen, I really do, and I don't ever want to upset him. I've been avoiding food-related dates with him; usually we walk in the park or get coffee. But he's been begging me to let him make me dinner, and this last time I made up an excuse, the disappointed look on his face absolutely broke my heart.

"So, I'm not free tonight for dinner, but I uh, I can come over tomorrow?" I offer. He lights up, nodding.

"Y-Yeah, okay! I'll make you something nice, yeah?" He asks, but it's not really a question, more of a confirmation. He kisses the top of my head gently, rubbing my shoulder.

I watch as he walks out of my office door, closing it behind him. When I hear the latch, I sigh.

xxxxxxxx

I'm already shaking when I knock on Carmen's apartment door. It swings open, revealing the beaming chef.

"Come in, 'm almost done, 'kay? Make yourself at home," he says sweetly, stepping aside to let me in.

Whatever he's decided to make smells delicious, but I can't appreciate it for long, because my stomach quenches, making the reality of it set in. I'm either not eating and offending Carmen, or I'm throwing up in his bathroom. Neither is a desirable outcome.

He looks beautiful while he cooks, so focused and in his element. He's plating his creation carefully for the both of us, like it's the final touch to his painting. He sets our plates at the table and smiles gently at me, signaling he's ready for me to join him. I'm not ready.

It feels like my whole body is convulsing as I walk over to the table and sit down. He's made a beautiful chicken fettuccine with a light cream sauce and peas. I pick through, trying to make it look like I'm eating, only collecting a few peas and small pieces of pasta on my fork.

"Hey, what's up?" Carmen asks. "Do you not like it?"

"No, it's not that, Carmy! It's good, I promise," I reassure him.

"What is it, hm? You can tell me. Are you vegetarian? Dammit, I knew I should've asked but I assumed-" he begins to ramble and I cut him off.

"I'm scared," I whisper. I can feel the crocodile tears forming, and one falls when he reaches out to rub my hand with his, moving his chair closer to mine.

"What're you scared of, baby?" He asks. I shake my head, but he's looking at me so intently, like he cares so much that I just break, sobbing.

"It's not you or your cooking, Carm! I promise! You're so good and so talented and I'm so proud of you! But I'm so fucking scared, Carmy." He nods and hums, his large palm rubbing soothingly between my shoulder blades. So I continue, "It's just a lot of food, and I can't really explain it, but it- it's just a lot of carbs and I don't want to gain weight and whenever I eat full meals it makes me so, so sick. I can't eat more than a couple of small snacks a day, otherwise I'm vomiting everything in my stomach," I sigh.

"It's okay, baby," he says softly. "We'll work through it, yeah? You never, ever have to eat everything I put in front of you. I want you to feel safe and comfortable with me, 'cause you make me feel safe and comfortable. But you gotta eat something, honey, y'can't starve yourself. Y'gotta eat balanced, too. Here, let's try."

He cuts a very small piece of chicken and puts it on my fork, holding it out for me to eat. I do, and he praises me. "Good job, I'm so proud of you. See? That's protein, it'll keep ya going. You don't even need that much, just a couple more bites, yeah?"

He continues to help me stomach enough food to keep my blood sugar up, praising me for every bite.

"I can't, Carmy, no more please. I'm starting to feel sick," I warn.

"Y'did good, okay? I'm so proud," he kisses my temple gently. "We'll keep working on it together. I'm here for you."

[princess-ibri]

Darkside Disney Princesses: Belle

(Edit-put my original picture for her under the cut)

(So this one does rely somewhat on the backstories made up for my DisneyVerse versions of the parents of both Belle and the Beast. But I think it still has good precedent because of the whole Belle and Rumplestiltskin thing that happens in OUAT)

In the Darkside version of Belle's tale, Felipe never makes it back to the village to let Belle know something has happened to Maurice, either he gets lost in the woods, or the wolves find him again. And so Belle waits patiently for him to return. Waits, and waits, and waits…

Finally a month has passed, and Belle is desperate to find out what's happened to her father. With no way to know where along his journey he went missing though, she has no way to know where to start looking. And the town isn’t too worried about chasing after “Crazy Old Maurice”, gone into the blue.

Her own circumstances are getting dire as well, without Maurice there to bring in their little income from helping repair the villages various items, her resources are running low. She's taken in sewing or whatever small work people might give her, but its a small town after all, and the people are used to doing their own labor, and couldn't pay her much besides.

The kinder townsfolk give her what they can, but with winter coming on they've got to look out for themselves and their own families

Of course, there's always Gaston's ready offer of marriage, but Belle isn't that desperate. Yet.

Her refusals don't stop him from coming over and offering nearly every day, and they certainly spur him into making sure the town gets the idea that Belle is "too proud to accept charity, don't bother giving her any supplies"

So the winter closes in, Belle finds herself colder and hungrier, and her firewood is getting low. Finally, she bundles up as warmly as she can, and braves her way into the forest to gather what wood she can.

And in the glamor of the sudden snow, she too becomes lost within the trees.

The cold closes in around her. Deep and biting. The trees seem to twist around her, and finally she trips and falls, losing her axe beneath the snow that's piling higher and higher. She has no idea where she is or where to go, as the darkness deepens

Then suddenly, a light. Just ahead of her in the trees, flickering like a flame. She manages to stumble towards it. Following the dance of the light as it seems to lead her onwards, almost beckoning. Every bit of her is numb, but at last she makes it to the door of a ruined looking old tower. And inside, lounging by a roaring fire, is someone, something, between a man and a beast. It bears the shape of a man, but it's skin is mottled green, like the stuffed crocodile she'd once seen hanging in a church as a girl. It's eyes are black as coal, save for the irises, which shine-- like it's hair--like burning gold.

"Hello there Dearie", the being says, with a smile that glitters like a row of needles in the firelight. "Won't you come in? What is it that brings such a pretty young thing out into these dark and dangerous woods?"

Too numb with cold to feel fear, too desperate for warmth to think with caution, Belle accepts the offer, and lulled by the warmth of the fire and the being's careful coaxing, she begins to tell her tale. Her missing father, her growing desperation as Gaston drove away those who might have helped her, the dwindling food and firewood. And through it all the being listens, sympathizes, and finally, offers it's aid:

"For a price of course"

Belle is not put off by this caveat. She has read enough to know of Les Fées and the bargains they often make. She knows of the tricks and traps they lay. She also knows that at this point, she has little left to lose.

And so she agrees to make a bargain with this strange Imp

“You don’t know it, but there’s a power in you dearie. Flowing in your veins, deep down, like an underground spring. I can teach you to draw it up, so that you’ll never know weakness nor want again. You’ll be able to do all the things you ever dreamed of dearie, fulfill every wish—even finding your father”

The promise of this wished for dream above all lights a fire inside of Belle hotter than the one she sits by, but she asks warily: “And, what is it you get out of this?”

“Let’s just say that I’ll have the opportunity to pay something forward”

So Belle begins her lessons, she has always been a swift student. Drawing out the latent fairy magic that lies sleeping within her, waiting to be called forth. In another life she might have discovered it with the help of a more benign teacher. But that is not this life. And she learns to call forth her power through the lens of her fear, frustration, and anger over the willingness of that small and small minded town to so easily cast her and her father aside.

Time passes differently within the environs of the old stone tower. When Belle finally leaves, for her months have gone by, and yet as she reaches the edge of the forest, clad in a gown of midnight blue, her eyes dark as the winter sky above her, she perceives that less than a day has passed since she entered the woods, seeking wood to keep back the cold.

She has no need of warmth anymore.

She reaches out with the power she has learned to yield, seeking the bonds of blood and love that link her to her father. She sees them, feels them, faintly running through the forest. She follows them through the trees, unafraid of the wolves that once would have stalked her, and now slink away in fear at her approach.

She follows them to the gates of a vast and terrible castle, echoing with dying magic, a curse reaching completion she thinks, with the new arcane knowledge she holds. But she does not think on that, but on following the call. Through the door, along empty passages,up the winding stairs, to a jail cell atop a tower. Where lies the frozen body of her father, long gone.

Belle’s grief consumes her, feeding the cold flames of her power. She stalks through the halls, seeking the one who locked her father away, who left him to his fate.

She finds him at last, a snarling beast, crouched around a bell jar that holds a rose, with but one petal left upon it. Magic swirls about it, the center of the web that binds this place. Once Belle might have been curious, wished to learn the secrets of this place, and it’s strange enchanted inhabitants.

Now, she wishes only for revenge

The beast is strong and fierce, savage, the last vestiges of human thought quickly fading away as the curse nears completion, for he has never learned to love, nor earn love in return. But for all his brute strength, he is still only a mortal, and once more finds himself overpowered by a sorceress’s magic

When Belle leaves the castle, crumbling into smoking ruins behind her, she holds in her hands a staff, grown from the dying stem of a rose; once the blushing pink of hopeful love, hope that withered as its petals fell, now burst forth into bloom, the deep dark blue of a winters sky, of a heart gone dark and cold.

She walks steadfastly, resolutely towards the small town she had once called home. There are more scores to settle. Somewhere on the wind, she thinks she hears the echo of the Imp’s laughter…

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

My favourite Cross Guild X reader crack canon is that reader took one look at Luffy and went "Pookie. That's my child now" and now the Guild just can't hurt the Strawhats because they risk the dreaded kicked puppy look (or the absolute fury and they're not fully sure which one is worse at this point-) and Luffy unknowingly (as per usual) milks this. Like "Oh hey! That's reader! Hello reader!! I don't like the Cross Guild too much but I actually like you!" cue reader crying like a proud mother hen while beating the other three with rolled up newspapers "Hi reader!! Look these are my crew and my new friends!" And now all of those are also under protection because heavens FORBID anyone makes Luffy sad on her watch-

No but I have something similar to this in mind with my Mihawk x OC fic in MUCH later chapters. More big-sister vibes, but she thinks Luffy is just the most adorable lil dreamer and will protect him at all costs.

Crocodile and Buggy being absolutely up in arms when they find out about it, but Mihawk just doesn't even bother looking up, continues flipping through the newspaper, being all dry and disinterested like "Your petty grievances with the boy don't concern me."

But I mean his mosshead step-son IS Luffy's best friend soooo. It's essentially you and Mihawk vs. Crocodile and Buggy on the issue.

Doesn't take long for the latter two to begrudgingly decide to just deal with the fact that the Strawhat idiot and his crew are now unofficial Cross Guild allies.

The ensuing chaos when they end up having to team up for some reason (likely at your behest because Luffy is in danger and THAT'S YOUR SILLY BRAINLESS LIL BB) would be PRICELESS.

[beanghostprincess]

Silly goofy wild and funky idea:

Transman Crocodile who transitioned via Ivankov.

Cross Guild events and Cross Guild Poly where Buggy finally gets the nerve to come out to her two lieutenants and also boyfriends. Mihawk just blinks like "yes? Your Haki is distinctly feminine, so this makes perfect sense. Oh, dear why are you crying, stop that-" meanwhile Crocodile has to bite back every single we traded genders joke and instead just shrugs, going "I quite literally could not be paid to give a fuck. You know I'm bisexual, this changes little, Clown."

Croc does off hand offer to hook Buggy up with Iva if that's smth she's interested in, tho.

Meanwhile Sanji has come out to the Strawhats as a transwoman as well, and the reactions are much more dramatic but no less supportive - if anything, some may be too supportive /hj ((Franky calls her queen and sis and Hawt Mama, Chopper already began working on ways to synthesize estrogen Just In Case, Luffy could not be made to give a single fuck, Ussop is swooning, Zoro informs her that this changes nothing and he'll still kick her ass, Robin offers her congratulations, Nami is already mathing out adding another bed in the girls' room or making a room JUST for Sanji and Ussop to share, Brooke waits 0.006783259 seconds before asking to see undies, just everyone being supportive and stupid))

This leads to Ivankov getting two separate contacts for their services, and so they arrange to meet at a small-ish island to help both, two birds, one stone :)).

Both crews go full Spiderman meme when they come across each other, and Iva handles it with all the gentility of a bull in a china shop, whisking both ladies away while the rest are left just plain gaping and awkwardly avoiding eye contact or completely oblivious to the tension (cough cough LUFFY).

Insert your own silly ideas here, generally.

But when they come back, Mihawk, Crocodile and Ussop are all just absolutely SWOONING for different reasons, full of Respect Woman Juice and I Love My Wife energy, it's adorable and cute and funny.

((Bonus: Luffy calls Buggy auntie without hesitation, and she almost cries even as she punches him over the head))

THIS IS SO CUTE SELJKFNSFLEFNLNDFDLKNSDLK

Okay, so, my thoughts on this. Crocodile having to hold back the 'we traded genders' joke is so damn real and I laughed SO hard. Love him. So true. And transfem Buggy lives in my mind rent free so this is just perfect because I absolutely love her. She's my beloved. She'd be so anxious about it and cry and Mihawk and Crocodile are like-- So done with her because she's acting stupid and dramatic and of course they're going to still want her. And she's crying and they're rolling their eyes and patting her head at the same time. Poor thing. She needs comfort okay??

And,, Transfem Sanji coming out is always so beautiful in my head. She's been battling her gender issues for AGES and now she feels comfortable enough to come out to the crew. She's anxious but she knows she has to do this now or she never will. And it's-- It's so real to me. The way she would explain everything that happened to her back in Momoiro Island and then say that she's actually a girl. And everyone's quiet because they know she's looking at Luffy only right now, expecting an answer from her captain. And Luffy is just like "??? Okay? You're still my cook. So who cares? You seem happier now!" and that is when Sanji starts crying. Because of course she's crying. And of course, Usopp is the one to hug her first because that's his girlfriend and she needs a hug and forehead kisses right now. But they have 0 privacy because Luffy wants hugs too. I mean. Obviously.

Franky is loud af and he's SOBBING while he screams how proud he is of their cook (I've always said Franky feels like a girldad because just look at how he interacts with Nami. And he's sooooooooo loving Sanji right now). Robin would be so so proud too and would say she's happy for her and smile in the sweetest of ways (Robin please adopt me). I think Chopper would also ask a lot of questions before making estrogen, just in case, but then he'd go and try to make it right away. Nami hugs Sanji but the sweet moment doesn't last long because she's already telling Franky her ideas for a bigger, better room for the girls or!!! "Better!!!!!! A room for Sanji and Usopp so we don't have to deal with them!!!!!! But also make the girl's room bigger because I say so!!!!!!". Zoro says he doesn't give a fuck because he will still kick her ass but he's secretly happy that she looks more relaxed and comfortable in her skin. Brook is Brook and he says his Brook thing about panties but I think Sanji would kick him having the best gender affirmation moment of her fucking life. And Jinbe is just the cutest because I think he'd laugh at the chaotically sweet situation and say that strength comes from being happy with yourself and Sanji is the strongest for being so brave and true to herself (he be saying poetic and cute shit like that and he expects me not to absolutely love him. Dad behavior. I am SO sure he would beat the shit out of anybody who misgendered Sanji. But that's what any Strawhat would do, so,,,).

They go see Iva (Iva my beloved) and they're all,, So uncomfortable,, Buggy acts overconfident and says she's perfectly fine and not scared at all of what Iva's going to do to her body (liar. She's scared af and Crocodile and Mihawk know so they keep scaring her even more because it's funny to see their girlfriend crying. Look. The fact that they're soft and dating doesn't mean they're not gonna bully her). And Sanji has smoked like two fucking boxes of cigarettes already despite saying that she doesn't care about it (she has never been more excited in her entire life) and she's holding Usopp's hand so hard she's going to break it at some point. Anyway, Iva is a dramatic bitch and they make Sanji and Buggy come with them to a more private place because they want it to be a surprise for everyone (drama queen. Love them. I would do it too. Trust the process, girls, you're in good hands). So Cross Guild and the Strawhats end up alone and waiting for their girls to come back. And. Yeah. Uncomfortable. Zoro looks at Mihawk at some point and goes:

Zoro: I thought you were gay. Mihawk: I swing both ways. Usopp: Actually, you swing sword- Mihawk: Awful. Shut up. Don't ever speak to me again. Don't even look at my direction, actually. Roronoa, why is your crew like this? Zoro: It was really funny, though. Mihawk: I wish to not partake in this conversation anymore. Everyone just shut up and wait. ............. Luffy: Hey, guys, do you think Sanji's going to have bigger boobs than Zor- Nami: OH MY GOD LUFFY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT Luffy: BUT I'M CURIOUS Zoro: Yeah, she's going to ask for the biggest of boobs only to piss me off because she's annoying like that. Mihawk: Why would you even care about your breast size, Roronoa? Crocodile: Tsk. You care about mine. Usopp: OH MY GOD SJKFNSKDEWKFJNJKSFN

Okay, so Sanji and Buggy eventually come back. Finally. And they were gorgeous before but now they're even more beautiful because they actually look extremely happy with their bodies. I want to describe how I see them but just check @/vongulli's account and see their fem Buggy because she kills me every time and that's the only way I can see fem Buggy now. And Sanji to me looks like @/sibmakesart's fem Sanji. This artist made a nude fem Sanji not long ago and I loved it,, So much,, ANYWAY!!!!!! Getting carried away.. Thinking about women. It's not my fault I'm a lesbian. But they look perfect and they're comfortable and happy. And Sanji's boobs are surprisingly not huge and Zoro makes a comment about that but Sanji is like:

Sanji: WHAT????? YOU ONLY SEE ME AS A BOOB-OBSESSED GIRL OR WHAT? Literally everyone at the same time: Yes. Sanji: Well, for your information- Usopp: She likes thighs more Sanji: Usopp, don't tell them- Iva: And also, my dears, that is not how my power works Zoro: So you did ask for big boobs and you couldn't have them Sanji: I'm going to kill you and wearing heels it's going to hurt even more Usopp: Is it weird that I'm kind of turned on right now? Nami: ...Haha Usopp: Are you okay? Nami: Hey, Usopp, I- Usopp: You can't fuck her Nami: I swear I can't have anything!!! What do you have against lesbians??? Usopp: YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY??? Nami: I dunno, yes??

Crocodile and Mihawk are having... A moment. They will still bully her and they're sure she's going to look extremely pretty crying and whining but right now she deserves to be worshipped because just look at her. Buggy approaches them and she's like "If you laugh I'm going to throw knives at you and then leave Cross Guild and!! And!! And I'm going to be really mad so pleasedon'tlaughireallylikethispleasedon'truinit" and they look at her with the fondest of looks (but gotta be honest, they're so horny right now it's unbearable. Like yes, happy wife happy home happy everything but also happy dick because just look at her). Crocodile is just frowning and genuinely asks "Why would we laugh? You look stunning, dear" and Mihawk follows with "I must say I'm not surprised, since you've always looked beautiful. But you look... More satisfied with yourself." And Buggy has to hold back the tears and that's why she starts saying things like "Pffft. Yeah! I knew I'd be gorgeous like this too! Now I look even flashier!" and y'know, the two men are letting her have her moment because now she looks even better and they can't stop staring at her. So maybe she's right this time when she fakes confidence.

Usopp and Nami need a second to process everything, I think. Also, they both hit Brook at the same time when he's about to ask Sanji the question™. Nami is having a lesbian moment, but of course Sanji realizes and does her Sanji thing like opening her mouth and speaking:

Sanji: Nami-swaaan!!! Do you like how I look now??? Nami, ignoring her and whispering to herself: Disgusting. I hate this. Zoro: At the end of the day it's just curly, huh? Nami: I was thinking with my dick. Zoro: Yeah. Happens. Been there.

So, Usopp and Sanji finally get their moment together because at least the Strawhats are respectful enough to give them their sweet uhhhh two minutes before they start complimenting Sanji. So that's something! Sanji is confident with her body but is a bit shy and isn't sure what Usopp will think about this. Not that she has changed much, even, but, you know. Just different. In a good way for her! But different. And Usopp approaches her slowly and smiling and he's just so so so happy. And he's like "You look gorgeous!" / "... Really? I wasn't sure whether you'd like it-" / "I will always like you! But more importantly, do you like you?" / "I mean- Weird phrasing, but yes. Yes? I think so. Yes." / "Then that's all that matters." And Sanji really, really doesn't want to cry because she has never cried in front of the whole crew. She just can't help it. But Usopp knows she doesn't like it when others see her cry so he quickly wipes her tears away and when she starts laughing (so so happy and full of love) Usopp just needs to kiss her.

Meanwhile, Luffy is there calling Buggy auntie and asking when she's going to tell Shanks about this. She keeps saying she will never tell him and if he wants to find out, he'll do it through her new wanted poster or whatever, but not from her.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Y'know what's funny? That some of the Sanji AU's can exist in a same ASL+S childhood friends universe- (with Acesan or even Sabosan - Ace or Sabo having a childhood crush on the boy and just years later starting to date him, just to discover WHO is boyfriend parent's are)

Like, Warlord!Sanji who starts to "work" at Baratie to know how to cook a little early but from time to time go to Amazon Lily, Alabasta, Dressrosa, Kuraigana or Fishman Island. But meets the ASL while going at Foosha and ends up becoming friends with him. (Would be funny if, like-

Or Croc!Sanji when he is with Zeff, or even Golden!Sanji with Mihawk (even a little worried) let his son be in Baratie sometimes, even if Sanji is most of the time in Kuraigana until he's 15/16.

That is so fucking funny. I'm answering in a few parts because you gave me brain worms so thanks. Also there's a few different scenarios here. Croc and Golden!Sanji above the cut and rather short but sabosan warlord!Sanji below the cut!

Croc!Sanji with guardians Zeff and Sir Crocodile who fucking hate each other. Sanji tells Crocodile about his friends in Foosha who Zeff doesn't let them see anymore because of how often he's gone in Alabasta and he needs the experience and the work so Crocodile after picking him up sails to Foosha with him and Daz. Sanji being scooped up in a big hug when he finds Ace and Luffy and they're all yelling at each other happily. Crocodile and Daz watch because Sanji is mostly used to adults both in Alabasta and Baratie so to see him with kids around his age is strange. Crocodile gets them all dinner and watches his kid bolt off into the woods after as he and Daz look at each other.

Crocodile fucking knew it because that kid with the scar under his eye beat his fucking ass with his son and while he is proud he's ready to strangle his son's childhood friend.

Mihawk takes Golden!Sanji to eat and eventually work every few weeks if he's not on a job when Baratie is open. At some point their in Foosha for a few days when Ace accidentally bumps into him and Sabo starts laying into Ace because that's Dracule Mihawk you idiot and Sanji is looking at them from behind Mihawk and Makino is telling ASL off and to go sit and be quiet. Mihawk tells her and them it's okay, they're children and it was an accident.

Luffy points at Sanji and asks why there's a baby with him and Ace and Sabo immediately thump Luffy on the head but Luffy says Shanks doesn't let kids go with him why would any pirate? So Mihawk asks how Luffy knows Shanks and invites the three of them to join them to try to get Sanji socialized a little bit with kids his own age. Makino is staring at them with worry the entire meal but Mihawk easily guides them and answers most of the questions Luffy has about Shanks. Mihawk follows them into the jungle with Sanji and watches Sanji actually play with them.

He calls Shanks from the Baratie and tells him about Sanji and ASL playing which makes Shanks question because Luffy doesn't have brothers and Mihawk laugh that he does, and they're all insane.

Warlord!Sanji being taken to Baratie every time it's in port but for some fucking reason it's always in Foosha when they go. Sanji works the prep and lunch shifts and then during the evenings is sent out to the town with whichever parent is there with him.

He meets ASL and looks at them with his head tilted in confusion. Sanji asks where their guardians are and they say they don't have any. They live by themselves in the jungle and Sanji looks between them and the jungle and they convince Sanji to go with them for a bit and Sanji watches in curious horror at the fire they build and how they cook meat. When it starts getting dark Sanji apologizes that he has to leave so they take him back to the edge of the woods and Sanji promises to see them again next time he's in Foosha and runs off to where ever his parent

Sanji doesn't come by often, every couple of months but he teaches them how to kind of cook and leaves Sabo books on the importance of nutrition and some cookbooks. Ace might be good at building fires but Sanji shows him how to build them for cooking more easily. He leaves whenever it starts getting dark with waves and promises to come back soon. ASL think Sanji is weird because sometimes there's a man waiting for him in the road near the woods, sometimes a woman, but they think the guy is weird because he always looks different.

When Sanji comes after Sabo "dies" he cooks a bunch of food for Ace and Luffy. He doesn't cry in front of them, he doesn't want to show weakness to the toughest kids he knows. So when it's time for him to go and he meets with the woman who is there sometimes and she crouches down to talk to Sanji and look at them. They know Sanji is telling her they don't like adults, they live with mountain bandits sometimes but like the jungle more. She looks between them and waves at them with Sanji before they leave.

It continues that way for a few years until Sanji stops having an adult wait for him. He stays out longer than he used to. Ace and Luffy don't ask him about the adults. Everything stays the same until after Ace is saved from the execution and suddenly Sabo is staying with the crew as much as possible to make up for lost time. He confesses to Sanji and they start dating, Sabo is wooed from how knowledgeable Sanji is about food and nutrition and then a seeming too wide net of subjects that don't really make sense to anyone. Sure finances go well with cooking, his dream is a restaurant but why does he know that much about poisons and how to make them in various forms?

Why does he know how to synthesize so many drugs? Sanji knows a lot about body decomposition and weapons and so many forms of combat and a few languages which make Sabo and everyone look at him in puzzlement. Ace is constantly asking why he knows that shit and Luffy is just saying he's smart.

For some reason or another their meeting up with the other four warlords from Ace's botched execution and Sabo is asking why Sanji looks so pale and Sanji is apologizing to him as the warlords are looking at the hand of Sanji he is holding then to him, and then to Sanji. He feels a pooling sense of dread as all of a sudden Jinbei steps forward.

"This Sabo, from when Sanji was a child. Luffy and Ace's brother we thought to be dead." Jinbei says.

"So the dead kid is now the Chief of Staff for the Revolutionary Army and dating our son?" Boa asks to which Jinbei nods at.

"You're parents are the Warlords who helped at my execution?" Ace asks Sanji.

"They were the ones waiting on the road?" Luffy asks after.

"You guys never went to meet them?!" Nami yells at them.

"It's complicated!" Sabo exclaims.

"I want to hear this." Zoro grins.

"We hated adults!" Sabo defends.

"They did. They used to try to convince to me to stay." Sanji nods.

"They lived in a jungle. I heard about several incidents where they almost burned down the jungle." Crocodile nods.

"I'm sure we don't need to talk about what will happen to you if you hurt our son?" Mihawk asks Sabo who nods soberly as Robin giggles.

[romanoffsbish]

Mischief Managed

Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

WandaNat x Fem!Reader

Requested by: @mostlymarvelsstuff | 1,844 Words

Prompts

“It hurts me, just how much I ache for you.”

Natasha was at a loss for words; stumbling into the party late with Wanda, her long term girlfriend, to find you—their muse, twerking on a table for all to see was not on her list of things to expect. Then again, she reminds herself that you are meant to expect the unexpected at an infamous Stark party, so she shakes her head, then makes her way over to maybe preserve your dignity., "How is she already this drunk?!"

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Tony slowly looks from your inebriated form to Nat's in acknowledgment, the glaze on his eyes an indication to her that he's just as far gone., "Two. Words.," the billionaire hiccups loudly., "Asgardian Ale.," and as the words leave his mouth with a giggle the redhead surveys the rest of the crowd. On the dance floor she sees Mr. Virgin with cheeks as bright as her hair dancing with, and grinding all over an equally flushed Bucky who's metal arm is missing, and when she shifts she sees it's in Sam's hands, being waved around like it was a pool noodle. Clint is passed out on a recliner with markings all over his face, and a box of fruity pebbles held tightly to his chest. Tony, who'd been at her side only twenty seconds ago was on the dance floor attempting to do the worm, but his attempts fell as flat as his body, as he was not moving at all. It's not funny, but she still chuckles thinking about how embarrassed they'll be come morning time.

Thor is in a corner, dreaded flask in hand, and with a proud smirk befalling his face. Natasha cringes upon seeing the guests with their phones out recording the Avengers in all their states of drunken stupidity., "Thor, care to explain?," the man's eyes glint with mischief as he slowly peers down at her., "Where is he?," of course she'd be the one to catch him., "Don't worry, my brother is safe on Asgard.," he sighs., “Well, as safe as one can be when they’re dangling over a pit of vicious crocodiles.,” he lowly mumbles while shifting back into his true form, and before he could upset the glaring redhead more he passes her the flask., "Good luck with the clean up there Natasha.," and with a wink, and an unsettling cackle the raven haired man vanishes in a cloud of green.

"She's like really out of it Natty, poor thing.," Natasha jumps back when Wanda's suddenly at her side instead, a drunk you in her arms, the both of them look to you fondly, and for a brief moment they forget their current predicament, then they’re quickly reminded, your nervous giggles pulling them from their infatuated fog., "Natty, Wands, it's time to party—let's go!," you tried to pull the witch and assassin along with you, but strong arms that you were never much of a match for wrapped around your waist, holding you in place, and causing your body to freeze, and heart to still in your chest.

Natasha has hugged you before, this was not new, what had bothered your nervous system in this situation was her closeness, and the duration of the embrace., “Now, now detka.,” as soon as the Russian word you never knew the meaning of left her lips your body shivered as if it knew the direct translation., “I’m going to do what we like to call damage control, and you’re going to let Wanda take care of you.,” even in your inebriated state you knew to listen to the woman, to your hearts delight it even came with a reward, because as soon as you nodded she pulled you in closer to gently kiss your forehead., “There’s our good girl.”

The couple shared an amused glance at the soft gasp that leaves your parted lips, the one you likely didn’t even realize you emitted. It’s just a bit strange to witness, usually you’re better at holding up your indifferent facade to their flirting, but it seems that the ale has left you with very few defenses. This much they knew when you smiled dopily, tracing your fingers over the skin her lips only just parted from, all while giggling like a schoolgirl who just got asked to the prom via an elaborate proposal.

They’ve always known you were interested in them too, but they very much enjoyed this slow chase they’ve been orchestrating, it’s so much more exhilarating in comparison to the simple, and traditional way of courting you; flustering you is their favorite pastime. However, seeing how cutely you just reacted to Nat’s peck made the women’s hearts melt, and the game they were running felt a bit overdone now.

Wanda’s eyes that already shone with love lit up when you easily transitioned to her arms. Even more so when you attached yourself to her like a koala, your face buried into her neck, and your loud thoughts of how safe you felt in her custody nearly had the witch in tears. Natasha noticed the potential sign of distress, mentally asking her if she was okay to which she nodded with an adoring smile., “Yeah, I’m perfect; Natty can we please keep her?,” she replied, the redhead smirked at the proposal, as if she were just asking to simply adopt a cat.

Still, she nodded her head in agreement, her lips then left tender kisses to her lovers lips., “Take her to our room lyubov’, I’m right behind you guys.,” then to your temple before she sent the both of you off with a playful smack to the witches ass., “Oy, everyone out, parties over!”

Wanda carried you to their room, doing her best to ignore the shivers running along her spine, your soft breaths while you slept were brushing across her skin, and driving her mad. After laying you down on their bed she went to the bathroom to change, but that was a mistake because not even a minute later were you stirring awake, and a bit thrown off by being alone in the couples room with a foggy mind.

Once again your loud thoughts traveled into the woman’s mind, causing her to neglect the rest of her skin care regimen to get to you., “Detka, what’s wrong?,” you whimpered at the sight of the woman in only a tshirt and panties. Nothing about the last few hours was readily available to you, as if someone wiped your memory clean., “Wands, wh-what happened?,” At your nervous question, and with your eyes on her attire it all clicked, bringing her to sit before you on the bed, offering you a soft gaze.

Her hands gently raised to cup your cheeks, you had one of your normal reactions to her affection so she knew you were a bit more aware of yourself than before but the glaze over your eyes told her you were still drunk., “Don’t worry, if it’s okay with you, I can show you…,” and after you nodded she began the process, the strange tickle of her red tendrils permeated your skull, and the night was replayed to you.

Natasha entered the room just as Wanda had left your mind, your eyes were wider than the time they danced with you at a previous party., “I’m ruined.,” you groaned, falling back into the mattress with your hands over your face. The women couldn’t help but to chuckle., “Detka, I promise I wiped all their phones clean, but not before keeping a personal copy.,” the redheads laughter only deepened when you groaned more aggressively, and even thrashed about a bit., “I don’t like Thor anymore.”

“It was Loki.,” Natasha shouted from the bathroom where she was now mirroring Wanda’s interrupted plans., “That bitch.”

Wanda giggled at the sight of your scrunched up face, she however missed the way it fell into a frown when she left the bed. It actually hurt for her to leave your side, like your bodies were invisibly tethered together, and she’d never cared to notice. Neither women wanted to push you tonight, so the witch was begrudgingly setting up the bed of their pull out couch. Seeing that in your mindset left you a mess of emotions, primarily though you’d felt dejected.

“Ouch.,” it had been a thought, one you’d mistakenly thought aloud, and there was such a pain in your voice that Natasha rushed out of the en suite with floss hanging out of her mouth and her fists at the ready to fight whomever dared to cause you harm. Wanda was much the same, throwing the pesky fitted sheet atop of the mattress before making her way over to the side of their usual shared bed., “What’s the matter detka?,” worry spiked in the both of them when your eyes were despondent, and your hands were clutching at your chest.

“It hurts me.,” your lip began to quiver, and tears fell from the corners of your eyes, trailing down your temples and only enhancing your sentiments as they seeped into their pillow. Before either of them could ask what, you were choking out the rest of your hearts truths that a sober you would be mortified over spilling., “Just how much I ache for you two.”

Natasha always found vulnerability harder to navigate than her Sokovian counterpart, so while she stood there in a state of shock the witch was quick to join you in the bed, laying beside you and hovering her face above yours., “Well ache no more detka, we’re all yours.,” her fingers brushed the hair sticking to your tear tracks off of your temples, doing her best to soothe you while your drunk brain caught up.

Natasha didn’t want to be left out, so she threw her floss haphazardly onto the floor, then she settled onto her knees beside the bed, and laid her hand softly atop of your fidgeting one., “Sweet girl, she’s serious, we’ve always been yours, irrevocably so actually.,” her voice was the softest you’d ever heard it, spurring on a new wave of tears, as well as panic to fill her heart., “Sorry we took so long to tell you.”

Wanda could tell you needed something more than words when she looked into your resistant orbs, so she gently pecked the corner of your lips, an attempt at offering a reassuring touch, but not enough for it to be a wasted first kiss. That’s something they’d prefer to share with you when you were sober, and fully cognizant. However, her lips continued with a purpose, leaving a transparent sheen of lip marks on your cheeks and foreheads with each firm kiss.

When she pulled away your head lolled, eyes staring into those of the redheads and she smirked at your obvious expectance. She quirked her brow at you playfully, but when you adorably huffed your annoyance she gave in, and followed in Wanda’s sticky trail of kisses., “So, we’re yours Y/N, but tell us, are you ours?,” a soft smile overtook your tired face as you sighed dreamily., “Irrevocably so.”

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