#(Not that that’s a huge factor because this blog is catering to myself and myself only tbh) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sitp-recs · 3 years

Note

hi liv! you're awesome and ily but this is kinda a confession more than anything else. idk why this happens to me, but sometimes some fanfics that everyone else loved, really don't hit the spot for me. like i appreciate them but i just find myself getting bored and distracted yet when i see other people loving it, i feel so freaking guilty. it feels like i should like it and im missing out but i can't force myself to read them too. it's the most frustrating thing ever and i don't know what to do

Hi anon! First of all I’m sorry you’ve been feeling like this, it breaks my heart to see anyone being guilt tripped into liking something popular just because everyone else does. I’ve mentioned a few times that I’m wary about reccing (what people consider) classics exactly because of that. Of course they’re brilliant and popular for a reason - especially the ones that introduced innovative concepts or headcanons we all love and share today. I love many of those fics but others are definitely a pass for me, and the idea of being required to read and enjoy them to be considered a valid shipper (??) drives me up the wall. I’m happy you felt that my blog was safe and welcoming enough to share this with me without fearing judgment, anon 💜

What you’re feeling right now sucks big time and I assume pretty much everyone has gone/is going through the same dilemma being in a huge, long-standing fandom like Drarry. The amount of available works is insane, there’s no time to check everything that’s going on at once, and I’ve seen a few “gatekeepers” around - whether or not intentionally - putting a lot of extra pressure onto newcomers, casual fans and even old shippers like myself, to read this and that.

It’s completely normal that not every story will would spark something in you. Fic reading is an extremely personal experience and everyone has their preferences, hard nos, squicks and whatnot. It’s virtually impossible to have one single fic catering to every single shipper’s needs, and I doubt that any author has that intention anyway. The heartkick factor is so subjective sometimes you read two similar fics exploring the very same trope, and one works for you while the other doesn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️ imo trying to rationalize and justify reading preferences only leads to frustration, I prefer to accept that my heart wants what it wants, and there’s that!

I’ve mentioned before that Lettered is my fave Drarry author, yes? I wonder how many people will be surprised to learn that some of her fics didn’t work for me at all, I either never finished or never revisited them. Similarly, GallaPlacidia is largerly adored and read - I do love some of her fics but others are just not my jam, mostly because I have no interest in a few tropes. No I haven’t checked every fic Saras_Girl has ever published, and I’ve never read Turn, her most popular one but not a personal fave, more than twice. And it’s okay. It’s all good. Even if they knew I existed, I doubt that Lettered, Galla and Saras_Girl would care as much about it as some readers do lmao truth is, this is a space I come exclusively for fun, and we don’t owe anyone anything. Readers are free to choose and read and enjoy whatever they want, the same way authors are free to write whatever they want.

(Which is why I will never understand anti comments - no one is forcing you to read shit so is there any reason why you cannot close the tab, block the tags and move on? Must you really leave unsolicited criticism after literally wasting your time reading something you didn’t enjoy?! Makes absolutely no sense to me)

If I were to stress over how much I haven’t read or enjoyed I probably wouldn’t have created a recs blog in the first place. I admit sometimes I do feel pressured about not being as up to date and knowledgeable about the fandom as I’d like to - then I remember I’m here to have fun in my very limited free time, and my only rule should be to please me, myself and I. If I’m not having fun or feeling invested in the read, you can bet I’m gonna peace out and focus on something that hits that special spot. There’s nothing more valuable than learning how to curate your experience, and knowing you’re not a lesser fan because of that is an important step, too.

This got too long and I’m not sure if it helped, but I hope you feel better soon! Be gentle to yourself and prioritize your preferences, go after what makes your heart tingle and focus on having a good time. Sending lots of love 💜

#asks #anon #on fandom

28 notes · View notes

viciousgracearc · 3 years

Text

sh.adow & b.one thoughts ( contains spoilers! ) tw: racism ( this is just a thought dump and to explain why i’m not adapting the show’s racist elements in my portrayals )

disclaimer: just because i will not adapt the racist element as it appears in the show doesn’t mean i won’t acknowledge the book canon, in-universe prejudice and discrimination against the poc characters in grishaverse.

so. the racism in shadow and bone. having watched all of the show, i now have some mixed thoughts about it. in the books, alina is assumed to be white for the most part. it is only at the end when we ( or at least i ) suspected that she is not entirely ravkan, and then the casting confirmed it. the kind of racism alina ( and mal ) faced in the show was never a factor in the books, despite rampant anti-shu and anti-fjerdan sentiment. the suli are painted as people who are displaced and mostly neglected by the ravkan government, and definitely treated with prejudice, but as far as i recall there is no specific slur directed at them either in book canon.

however, whereas alina’s ethnicity is vague in the books, it is crystal clear in the show that she is a biracial woman. i know that for biracial folk, experiences vary across the board, especially if you’re a biracial person and an immigrant or a refugee. alina is a war orphan. her mother’s country of origin is at war with her current country of residence. to an extent, i understand the level of animosity ravkans have against people who look like the threat / the enemy. people of color face racism and prejudice day in and day out, sometimes from white people, sometimes from fellow people of color. this is a grim reality with a long and studied history of racism and racial superiority creating divides between minorities and pitting them against each other.

was the racism necessary to the plot? it definitely adds layers to it. you have an orphaned girl of color in a mostly white people country. they discriminate against her and her best friend for most of her life, using slurs such as “rice-eater” and “half-breed”. but this country has a huge problem, and it turns out only this orphaned girl of color can save them from it, despite them alienating her consistently. now they need her help, now they call her a saint. this girl, who based on show-canon, feels so different and abnormal from the rest of her peers because her ethnicity is always pointed out and considered a bad thing. now she has to be a hero for a country that despises her... and not only that, now she has to do it under the tutelage of a white man. white man looks older than her; there is an obvious imbalance in their power dynamic, but he looks at her like his hope come at last and places her on a pedestal she doesn’t ask for. this same white man puts a collar around her neck and then effectively subjugates her by taking control of her power.

it... it kinda sounds bad, doesn’t it? it does. “but wait,” the volcra screeches. “via, are you fucking stupid?” it asks. “that’s not how the story ends! she overcomes!”

well, yes. but does it really make the rest of it any less insidious? alina is denied food, consistently picked on, and mocked, for being half-shu. it is prevalent in her show storyline and difficult to ignore. and thus it will be woven into everything that happens to her, and every decision that she makes will in turn, make us, the viewers, look back on it even if she herself doesn’t do so explicitly. i know the intent of including this racism element into her ( and mal’s ) story is to portray an accurate depiction of the POC experience as they maneuver white or mostly white spaces, or just spaces not catered to their specific ethnicity. but does it work? is it necessary? the irregulars, which is also a netflix show, did a great job at casting a young chinese woman in a lead role and a black man as dr. john watson without ever having to define their characters or their capabilities to move in the world by their race alone. as a half-chinese woman myself, it was empowering to watch a chinese girl able to take the lead and make bold statements and brave decisions without ever being bogged down by the limitations of her race.

at the end of the day, it is a fantasy world. do you think if the racism isn’t there, the story’s going to be worse off than it is? personally, if they left it out, i think the story will be just fine. there are a lot of things that tie these characters together outside of their racial struggles, like... i don’t know, personality? circumstances? the need to save their country from a powerful tyrant? the struggle for survival in a constantly at-war nation? there is also the fact that this racism element they’ve introduced is inconsistent. so much directed against alina and mal because they want the viewers to sympathize with these two characters. some of it directed towards inej, another protagonist, whose story has a lot to do with how she was exploited because she is suli. but where’s the racism directed at zoya? at botkin? if there’s racism against the shu and if they call them rice-eaters, where’s the anti-fjerdan racism and what do they call fjerdans? ice-shavers? cold-dwellers? aren’t fjerdans ravka’s enemies too? but oh wait... fjerdans are white. nevermind.

speaking of zoya: in the books, especially in RoW, it was implied that she is white-passing, which is why she was never treated differently for being suli. however, show!zoya is NOT white-passing at all. she is very obviously a woman of color, and while i acknowledge that yes, poc can be racist against poc, i don’t really see zoya -- bully, mean girl, attention-starved, ambitious, ruthless zoya -- resulting to such a low blow. sujaya dasgupta herself admitted that in show canon, zoya experiences racism ( though it was never explicitly shown to us ), and consciously turns it against alina in the hopes of hurting another woman of color. don’t get me wrong, zoya is definitely a terrible person at the start of the series. she was classist and mean and she had a superiority complex, and that superiority complex comes from being a powerful grisha, something she worked hard for. she thinks alina doesn’t belong in the little palace, not because alina is shu, but because alina appears out of nowhere, is untrained but is already considered powerful / the solution to everyone’s problem, and has nabbed her old place as the darkling’s favored. the “you stink of keramzin” jab is more than enough to drive her point home and i don’t think “half-breed” is necessary at all. besides, from what it looked like, alina isn’t the only mixed-race grisha. grisha comes from all over, taking refuge in ravka because they’re the only nation that treats their grisha under acceptable conditions. so one would expect some diversity there, which zoya, having been at the little palace since age 9, would have been used to by now. i don’t really think there’s a lot of incentive for her in using a racial slur, and she’s lethal enough with words that she doesn’t need them to injure somebody.

“via, stop barking and tell us what you’re going to adapt in your portrayal!”

okay, well. personally, i’m not interested in including the show’s racist element in any of my characters’ storyline ( alina, zoya, mal, ehri ). i acknowledge the anti-shu, anti-fjerdan, and anti-suli sentiments as they appear in book canon, but i will not use alina’s ethnicity as the basis of her “otherness” because i like the book canon explanation for that better. nor will i acknowledge that zoya called alina a half-breed, because my zoya is not white-passing zoya, and she knows infinitely better ways to inflict verbal harm than racism. zoya will also be grappling with being half-suli because she was exposed to anti-suli sentiments by her own mother as a young child.

all my characters are of asian-adjacent ethnicities, and as an asian person myself, do you really think i am interested in reliving my traumatic racism experiences through the characters that i write in a fantasy world? with alina especially, it’s like she couldn’t breathe without someone pointing out that she’s half-shu. i think as much as it is important to show authentic poc experiences in art and media, it is also equally important to show poc solidarity, and to stop defining people by their race alone and to just let them exist as people.

it doesn’t help that the show’s way of depicting racism is gratuitous, insulting, and feels like it’s catered more towards the white gaze than... you know, actual POC viewers? i understand people will disagree with me on this and that’s fine. this is just how i feel. given that shu-han as a nation didn’t even feature much in the books and we don’t know ANYTHING about them in a cultural context aside from the fact that their appearance is coded as east asian, the discrimination towards them really just hinges on shallow factors like how they look, what they eat ( ???? ), and how they are viewed as ravka’s enemy. it boils down to an east vs. west type of scenario ( and considering the barrage of anti-asian sentiment in our current political climate it’s... questionable at the very least ), and the racism element is not a profound expression of the poc experience but more like... a caricature version of it, once again, in my opinion.

“via, i can’t believe you used that many words trying to tell us you won’t include the racism in your portrayal.”

hey, i know. but a girl be having thoughts, a girl’s two brain cells be rubbing together, you know? this is me deep cleansing my brain by yoting my thoughts into the void. but yes, this is my take! i understand if you don’t feel the same way, but i just... i can’t feature the racist elements of the show in my blog, sorry (not really).

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#* ic. / headcanons #headcanon: alina starkov #headcanon: zoya nazyalensky #headcanon: malyen oretsev #headcanon: ehri kir taban #racism tw #sab spoilers #asian ppl who disagree are valid #& pls remember not to tell POC what they can be iffy abt #also this seems like a lot of thoughts i just had to put them somewhere #shadow and bone spoilers

19 notes · View notes

chicachicfashion-blog · 4 years

Text

What Does Modest Fashion Really Look Like?

Pinterest UK tells me that searches for "modest style" are up 500% considering the start of this year. The worldwide modest style marketplace is already reportedly really well worth loads of billions and is about to scale up with the aid of using gargantuan proportions over the following 5 years. A professional on line save known as The Modist has simply launched—complete of certainly modest portions from an brilliant roll name of emblem names, and each form of lady is buying from the site, whether or not they discover as "modest" or now no longer.

When you step out of doors of this particular realm, it is simple to look that runways, cool manufacturers, and road fashion stars alike also are extraordinarily embracing huge shapes, covered-up silhouettes, and innovative layering. Modest style is everywhere. But what precisely is it? As a whole, this motion has been choosing up the tempo for nigh on a decade, however there is nevertheless a fogginess approximately what it manner to be a modest dresser, what it seems like, and the way it is affecting fashion-aware ladies proper now. Keep studying to find out extra.

So what does "modest style" honestly mean?

If there is one element all the ladies I spoke to agree on, it is this: There isn't anyt any one definition of what modest style manner, however it basically pertains to having a diploma of cognizance in terms of protecting up elements of your body. This chasm of statistics we can not categorize and pigeonhole contributes significantly to the mass marketplace's uncertainty of a way to talk with and deliver to ladies who need modest style. It also can make anybody who isn't always individually versed withinside the idea sense ill-ready to speak approximately it, however possibly confirming its ambiguity can assist to push the idea forward.

The fact is that everybody has their personal concept of what modest style manner to them.

"Modest style as a term, as a marketplace term, got here to occurrence withinside the mid-2000s, and this changed into partially due to the fact some of the manufacturers that first commenced up got here from designers and innovative marketers who have been themselves religiously motivated," says Reina Lewis, professor of cultural research at London College of Fashion, UAL. She defined to me that the net made it viable for savvy, underserved religio-ethnic people and companies to begin imparting each the goods and content material that they have been missing.

As Hana Tajima—the British-Japanese Muslim style fashion dressmaker who these days collaborated with Uniqlo on various modest-pleasant style—tells me, "The fact is that everybody has their personal concept of what modest style manner to them. And that runs along peoples' private alternatives of shadeation and fashion. It's one of these extensive concept that receives very slender inner the ones words."

So, in brief, modest style can describe various stages of protecting up on purpose. The selection may be because of religio-ethnic achievement or to gain a positive aesthetic and stage of ease as it isn't only a fashion this is tied to spirituality.

Why is the mainstream style enterprise speakme approximately it now?

First up, let's examine the number one stat that receives referenced time and again. According to the Global Islamic Economy Report, the Muslim style spend on my own withinside the UK is envisioned to reach $467 billion with the aid of using 2020. This is, in part, because of increasingly more millennial Muslim ladies—or Generation M—who've large quantities of disposable income, way to their new positions withinside the place of business in preference to the home.

Outside of records and figures, take a 2nd to reflect onconsideration on in which style is headed proper now: Social media has induced variety to come to be a mainstay—now no longer a gimmick—in the enterprise. It's additionally shone a mild on the (obvious) records that ladies of various shapes, faiths, colors, sizes, and backgrounds may be simply as elegant and may be similarly treasured customers.

The worldwide reaction on every occasion the modest style marketplace is addressed highlights simply how tons this faction desires to be spoken and catered to. When DKNY advertised a Ramadan series of present portions that have been appropriate for modest dressers in 2014, the click insurance changed into phenomenal. The equal is going for whilst H&M decided on Mariah Idrissi to function in a video in 2015. She have become the primary hijab-sporting version to function in one of the megalith's campaigns. She tells me her life "modified overnight. I changed into scouted in a shopping mall quickly after graduating college and [had been] making plans on running for myself in a innovative field, however I by no means predicted to be a version."

"That went viral inside minutes," Lewis says of the high-road campaign. "I assume the manufacturers worried have not found out the urge for food for this … how tons it'd get taken up. I assume Mariah were given extra traction and insurance than the alternative human beings worried in it, however the video changed into revolutionary in some of approaches in phrases of the way it offered social variety for style."

If I'm now no longer spiritual, can I be part of the movement?

Lewis explains that whilst the modest style marketplace is predominantly developing withinside the Abrahamic faiths (it truly is Judaism, Christianity, and Islam), consistent with census data, an increasing number of younger humans are figuring out as "spiritual, now no longer spiritual." With that during mind, it is pretty feasible that piety and modest dressing is a through-product, however yes, anybody can get dressed modestly—to any degree—in the event that they need to.

"I might make the factor that girls interpret necessities to get dressed modestly in lots of specific ways, and the manner they interpret it could extrade over their life. Within anyone spiritual denomination, there could be some of specific interpretations and practices," Lewis says.

"Interestingly there are a variety of non-Muslim girls who're interested in this aesthetic," Tajima says. "There appears to be an overlap of subcultures and girls redefining what femininity approach to them. It allows that the garments are inherently comfortable. Japan has been fairly receptive to my collaboration with Uniqlo. I suppose a variety of girls are not always conscious that the garments can be visible as 'modest style.' It's only a fashion that resonates with them."

Women interpret modest get dressed necessities in lots of specific ways, and the manner they interpret them can extrade over their life.

Is it a accident that the outsized silhouettes—just like the super-huge trousers or announcement sleeves—we are into are so widespread at the runways and in shops proper now? Fashion is usually a mirrored image of the cultural conversation, and nowadays there are extra alternatives than ever for dressing modestly. Lyst, the data-crunching style seek engine, has visible an boom in associated phrases such as "excessive neck" or "lengthy sleeve" growing through 40% and 52%, respectively, during the last six months. Meanwhile, the logo notes that even extra precise categories, such as "modest bikinis," are triumphing out over skimpier styles.

What's the largest false impression approximately modest style?

Once you placed apart the false impression that modest style is most effective tied to spiritual and religo-ethnic desires, among the professionals I tapped for data have been short to pressure that masking up would not need to equate to searching uninteresting or keeping off trends. Anum Bashir, a Dubai-primarily based totally influencer regarded for advocating modest style on her blog, Desert Mannequin, absolutely debunks the parable that modest style "cannot be on trend, or that designers do not layout for the modest dresser. … I love having a laugh with garments as of late: colors, prints, layers, etc. What I do not have a tendency to do is display an excessive amount of skin."

London is so multicultural and one of the style capitals of the world; the modest style scene right here is so colourful and alive.

Does Bashir's system sound acquainted to you? It's one which I share, but I've by no means purposefully sought out or aimed to take part withinside the modest style movement. The concept is some distance from restrictive, is of the same opinion Lisa Bridgett of The Modist, a newly released e-trade platform focusing on a luxurious amassing of the maximum modest-pleasant portions.

"Modest dressing is set choice, approximately fantastically styled portions that resonate with the wearer and offer an exceedingly style-ahead method to being in-season. At The Modist, we're loving the tremendous and enlightened responses to our style proposition that we've had from modest clothing for women , girls throughout faiths who put on garments to marry with their values. … In many ways, modest dressing presents extra possibilities for girls to get dressed stylishly."

Who have to you appearance to for modest fashion inspiration?

There's no person metropolis or platform that policies the modest style kingdom—and through now it is simple to look that is a lot extra than burqas and maxi dresses—however Idrissi explains that London is a quite satisfactory vicinity to start: "As London is so multicultural and one of the style capitals of the world, the scene right here is so colourful and alive. I sense we take style pretty seriously. However, I will say even though we've a few adventurous dressers, I sense a lot of us [modest dressers] have a tendency to get dressed as an alternative in addition however with our very own little cultural or non-public twist."

#modest clothing for women #modest dresses for women #modest clothing websites

2 notes · View notes

sadncssfossilized · 5 years

Text

sexuality troubles.

i’m so fucking confused. being non-binary/trans makes everything so fucking hard. i don’t know where i fit... anywhere on the sexuality spectrum. i have no idea if all of my attraction to men is real or if i’m forcing it on myself bc im afab. i don’t know if i’m bi. ive always wanted to be attractive to men ever since i was small i think as a coping mechanism because of trauma. but i’m also extremely scared of older men, even if i do find celebrities attractive. but a lot of male celebrities i straight up DONT find attractive at all, they’re like cardboard to me. i don’t know if that’s because i think a lot of hollywood white men hearththrobs look extremely bland/the same bc white society or if there’s something genuinely off with my attraction to men meter. ive heard people say that not being able to process whether a man is attractive or not is a lesbian thing. but i don’t feel like a lesbian. i don’t feel female. i love women, i have always known that, but i don’t feel like a woman and i don’t want to be a woman. i want to look masculine. i want to be masculine. i don’t want to be a girl anymore. i don’t want to be a man, completely, i just want to be.... not a woman. not a man. a nothing.

is it a preference or am i only attracted to women?? i loved being bi. i love the flag i love the options, and i don’t really process people’s gender’s except on a social level. ive never been close with ANY boys across my life, or even more than acquaintances because of my shy and reserved nature and i’ve never connected with any on a personal level both because of fear, being flustered, and feeling like they’re cooler and more superior to be and genuinely a different species so to say, so i don’t know if that has to do with my fear of being sexually involved with them. i’m always afraid men want the worst from me, and i always get the feeling that they are judging me based on my attractiveness to them and discard me mentally as soon as i am not and i hate that so much. i think because i’ve never known a boy truly and deeply, i keep prejudices against them and don’t think that they are as compassionate or HUMAN as non-men. but at the same time, i’ve always felt called to get self worth from their attraction to me. literally since pre-elementary. even if i think a guy is ugly i still base my worth off of if he’s attracted to me?? it’s automatic, and fucked up. i’m scared to go further than flirt with a boy. i’m scared to mess up conversationally , i’m scared of entering a relationship with one especially because i’d be the “woman” in it, and i don’t want to be fucked like a man fucks a woman. i want a queer man so i can feel safe and normal around him. straight men are an enigma to me. they scare me so much with their lack of societal awareness and cruelty. i feel like they don’t GET IT you know? but if i ever was to date one, since i’m pre transition and in the closet i’d have to pretend to be a woman and pretend to be okay with that. the idea of a man taking me like i was a woman makes me want to hurl.... that’s not the relationship dynamic i want at all.

all of my emotions toward men are so fucking conflicting. ive dreamed of kissing men before, fantasized about being soft with them, holding their hand, cupping their face and kissing them gently, but if they’re an irl i never fantasize about what they would be like sexually, land the idea kind of off puts/repulses me in a way. thinking of my irl women crushes kind of makes me feel the same way, but i’m more open to the possibility of that? ive never had a relationship with a man and only probably had like 1 male friend across my entire life, so my fear could be because of trauma + fear of the unknown + bc of my prejudices bc of my lack of experience + dysphoria. meanwhile, i’ve had 1 girlfriend and all of my friends have been female my whole life. ive just NEVER been comfortable around boys/men. which i feel like is less indicative of lesbianism and more of like. trauma haha. i sexualized myself at such a young age to cater to the boys around me and even to the adult men around me, it hurts to think about. i hate how trauma complicates everything. i don’t know why i have that impulse, i don’t know why it started. ive just never felt safe around a boy. i feel like they always want something from me. ive been attracted to them but i’m soo scared o f them. like, i always have something to prove, whether it be my personality or humor or attractiveness, just to stay in their presence.

nsfw incoming.

ive tried to jack off to a lot of gay porn and i think my men attraction meter is broken because so many of the men in gay porn are ugly/unattractive to me. straight up. in their face, and body. and the body ideals in the gay community, where i would fit in post transition, don’t.... resonate with me. like not to be crude but a lot of the body types of the men in here are unattractive to me, but then again it’s white dominated and caters to a very specific vision of a huge bubble butt, way huge thighs, overly ripped chest, bland ass white boy faces paired with ugly haircuts. is this what i’m supposed to be attracted to? the men i’ve been attracted to irl do not look like that. the men in gay porn are all so passionless too. (which is honestly an issue i have that makes jacking off to women in porn sort of difficult too??) i don’t know. i don’t feel like i’m attracted to men the same way gay men are. but then again, how would i know that? i don’t know any actual gay men. i just know from some porn blogs? some pornhub videos? i don’t fucking know. i jack off to images/videos of men very few times compared to how much i get off to women bc of my particularity . it’s more difficult, but it’s easier by when i think about how the man feels, like his pleasure, his sounds, his expressions, rather than the aesthetics of it all. not to say i don’t appreciate the aesthetics of some nice men- chris evans, frank ocean, rob mcelhenney, taika waititi, nice. which sounds like a very non-lesbian thing to say i would think, but i know a ton of lesbians who talk about celebrity men super raunchily and stuff, so i don’t know anymore and i don’t think i know enough about lesbianism to know whether these are lesbian experiences or not. the majority of men content ive jacked off to has been gay fan fiction, and that has actually been easy to get off to bc of the descriptions and the i can visualize characters and passion the way i want. it’s harder to do it with actual videos/images of men, because it’s so different in my mind and imagination m, but that may be bc gay porn can involve a lot of roughness/impersonal-ness? also i feel like i still have a certain degree of internalized homophobia toward both wlw AND mlm despite working through my acceptance of my sexuality for a number of years.

i just want a person. but i don’t know if it’s beyond my control who i’m sexually attracted to. my sexual attraction to men is a lot lower than to women, and it’s a lot easier for me to make them bland in my head and not be able to point out a unique thing about them . i feel like girls are more... distinct/easily alluring to me than most men you know. that may also be affected by how women actually know how to dress and look unique and men don’t really shift from 1 bland societal style, i don’t know. i don’t know. i want to be attracted to men. as a transmasc, i want to be gay. i don’t want to be straight. ive been gay all my life, and i don’t want to leave that label. i want softness and love. but men scare me, and i don’t know if it’s because of a tragic coalescence of bad life experiences (or lack thereof) or because of genuine lesbianism. ive talked so much about being bi, and even been called a confused lesbian before by transphobes, and ever since they said it i cant stop questioning. i feel like at this point i HAVE to be a lesbian or something, bc that’s how this shit goes in movies and stories. i don’t want to be a lesbian. i want to be attracted to men, i wanna be bi and be equally attracted to both, i want experiences with both in my mind, but irl i get so fucking scared and i don’t want anything to do with it. i don’t wanna be a straight transmasc and i also don’t want to become what transphobes have spent their time telling me i am. i want to be what i’ve always thought i’ve been, bisexual and transmasc. i was comfortable with bisexual, until everybody else kept telling me to question and it’s been eating me alive since. fuck. i don’t know anything. is this a preference and bad combination of a huge number of deeper factors or am i straight up NATURALLY not attracted to men? have i been lying to mhself? have all my attractions in the past been fake? this is gonna sound terrible but i don’t want to be a lesbian. it doesn’t feel right. and id be proving the horrible people right, and have to retract everything i’ve ever said about being bi to my following on my other social media. and i’ve said a LOT. and i’d also have to give up my admiration of my irl men crushes and male celebrities and their sexiness. all of this shit is so ridiculous but at least i’m being honest with myself with this post. someone help me haha

#questioning #lesbian #trans masc #nonbinary #bisexual #transmasc #trans man #help #lgbtq #queer #trans #rambles

8 notes · View notes

wasgoodshan · 5 years

Text

HBCU vs. PWI: What School is Best For You?

Hey, girls. First off, I would like to apologize for the long delay of my blog posts. I have been very busy with work and school, which made it hard to focus on my writing. However, I realized I haven’t spoken with you guys in so long and I have so much to talk about. Today is the start to our long overdue conversation.

This blog post goes to all of my girls who are seniors in high school. Since I know the time is crunching down to make your official decision for college, I’m here to help you make that hard decision. This decision can be very stressful because you have to think about every factor (safety, student & teacher diversity, food, cost, etc) and how these factors are the best for you. The huge debate of PWIs vs. HBCUs has been discussed for years and still remains because of the constant issues that happen on both campuses. Before I get into the facts of the different campuses, I would like to share my personal experience at Ramapo College of New Jersey. I attend a PWI and the first thing I noticed when I moved in was the lack of diversity. Coming from a high school located in Newark, NJ with majority of African-American students, this imbalance of diversity shocked me. I saw myself in the mix of majority white students with a sprinkle of minorities and at first, it scared me. However, attending a PWI in a rural area helped me realize that not all my life, I will be around people who look just like me and it’s better to get out of your comfort zone now then later. Yes, I would have loved to know the experience of attending a HBCU but there were more factors that made me lean towards a PWI (which I would speak about now.)

HBCU:

Historically Black College Campus/ Univeristies are seen as a safe haven for black students; to have quality education without the constant worry of being stigmatized or potentially exposed to violence. While these institutions have a focus on the education of African American students, these colleges or universities are open to any race, religion, or gender. Most of the students and professors are African-American which can be very comforting for black students. HBCU’s hold a huge significance in Black History, as it opened a door for educational opportunity for many blacks who were once legally denied an education.

Pros of Attending an HBCU:

1. The atmosphere of an HBCU holds a very prideful joy for their school with great marching bands, stellar cheerleaders, and students dripped out in college gear. If you are considering going to an HBCU, please come with great pride for your school and it’s great history. If you want people who look just like you and want to surround yourself with a respected history.

2. HBCU’s provide an abundance of scholarships and grants for students who showed great excellence in high school. Many HBCU’s are out of state if you live in New Jersey and tuition can be very pricey. This is why it’s so important to go after any scholarship or grant your school can provide for you.

3. There are great opportunities to join in extracurricular activities such as cheerleading, sports, and professional networking. There are several alumni committees that take the time to cater to the current students on campus and let them find great opportunities for their future.

Here are some famous HBCU’s that you might spend the next four years:

Howard University (Washington DC)

Morgan State University (Baltimore, MD)

Spelman/Morehouse College (Atlanta, GA)

North Carolina A&T University (Greensboro, NC)

PWIs:

A Predominately White Institution is a institution of higher learning with 50% or more of the students who identify as white. It’s basically the opposite of an HBCU; however, the atmosphere and daily life of a student here differ. PWI’s have great history as well, as many go back wayyyyyy before us and our parents. There are typically more students who attend PWI’s so classroom size can be as huge as a lecture hall. Other races attend PWI’s and now, many of these institutions are advocating for a more diverse campus, which can really benefit you.

Pros of Attending an PWI:

1. There is a better chance of receiving scholarships or a better financial aid package because PWIs have higher endowments due to financial assets donating more than to HBCU’s. If you are thinking about the financial costs, you may end up at a PWI simply because they may give you a better financial aid package.

2. There is a larger field of networking at a PWI. You are able to reach out to more reputable companies you would like to work for when you graduate from college. There are an abundance of opportunities laid out for you which may not be the same at an HBCU.

3. Even though this is an PWI, there are a variety of ethnic organizations such as BSU or ASA that represent the minorities at school. You may find these organizations your home as you can find people who look just like you. These organizations participate in a lot of events at school and bring awareness of better diversity on campus.

Here are some famous PWI’s you might spend the next four years:

Duke University (Durham, North Carolina)

Cornell University (Ithaca, New York)

University of Pennsylvania (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Loyola University (Baltimore, Maryland)

#black women #blogging #advice #feminism #confident #self love #girls #girl talk #beauty #love #college #hbcufashion #pwi

4 notes · View notes

vanlifegreenie · 5 years

Text

Hello! Welcome to this new blog! I doubt anyone is reading it right now since it’s brand spankin’ new but I wanted to introduce myself and the purpose of this blog.

I’m Anika. I’m 33 years old and I live in the western United States. I bake for a living, which is and also isn’t as fun as it sounds. But anything can get tiring after doing it for 15 years. I graduated from Culinary School in December of 2007 and I’ve been working almost constantly since then in my field. I’ve worked in a number of capacities in the culinary world, such as Subway (during school), a school for troubled teens, a retirement home, two different ski resorts in different states, a high-end French restaurant as Pastry Chef, and I’ve landed at a growing vegan bakery with a great boss and good pay.

Which is why I sound crazy when I say I’m dying to get out.

I don’t enjoy the work like I used to. I’m really good at my job and my boss loves me, but I’m starting to imagine a different life where I’m free to create my own schedule and travel wherever my heart desires. Also, my body can’t handle it much longer. Two wrist surgeries, back problems, and fallen arches later and I’m too young to destroy my body like this. I’m exhausted. I’m ready to move on.

Which is where this blog and new life plan comes into play. I’ve been following several accounts on Instagram about “van life” and...I want it. Badly. Before deciding on Van Life, I had a fascination with Tiny Houses. They’re adorable and do allow mobility but when I factored in the cost of the house and build and truck to pull it, along with trouble of where to park it, I had my doubts.

The more I thought about living in the van, the more I liked it. Some may think I’m crazy and quote that Chris Farley SNL sketch about “living in a van down by the river”. I love that sketch. But yeah, basically. That’s the plan. Obviously this is not some mini van or passenger van. I’m talking about a cargo van that’s tall enough inside even for my 5’11” self. Room for a bed and small kitchen and storage and the ability to pick up and go whenever I want.

I’ve been lucky to travel other parts of the world in past years. In 2014 I visited England and Wales with a friend. In 2018 I traveled solo to England again but also Scotland, Ireland, and France. I LOVED traveling alone. Honestly. Not having to cater to anyone else’s schedule and even sleeping in a few days because IT’S A VACATION TOO OKAY?? I got tired of trips full of itineraries and the need to see every single tourist attraction the place had to offer. I saw plenty, trust me, but I also sat in cafes and read on park benches. It was amazing.

I suppose it goes without saying that I’m single. If I actually tried to date or put in the effort to meet people I might not be, but I don’t wanna. Honestly. The whole idea of dating exhausts and drains me. Until I’m ready or I happen to meet someone who gets my level of introversion, it’s not worth it to me. I’m gonna travel and spend my time and money however I want. Hallelujah!

So, that’s the plan. Vaguely. Within the next 6 months I intend to find a remote job where I can work part time and save along with doing more research about van life. I’m not delusional, I know it’s going to be a huge change and it’s going to be hard sometimes. I want the challenge. I want to figure things out on my own. I want the freedom to make mistakes and make wrong turns so I can find my own way out. My hope is to purchase a van this summer and hit the road in the Fall of 2020.

But for now, I intend to keep my plans to myself (outside of my family and the internet, apparently). I will be planning and saving and dreaming and doing whatever it takes because I’m ready. Or at least I’m going to be ready. I hope to update this blog regularly, but we’ll see. If any other van lifers or hopefuls find me, send me a line! I’d love to connect. See you on the road!

#van life #travel #overlander #hopefully #van life vegan eats #I’m not sold on the blog name just yet #we’ll see #vegan #vegan van life #van

1 note · View note

lovelylogans · 6 years

Text

do not reblog

my best friend once (lovingly) described attempting to have a conversation about emotions with me was like pulling teeth.

so, ya know. this is gonna be awkward. i’m not good with emotions. fun fact, one of my early childhood memories of my parents trying to Teach Me Stuff (which was kinda rare to be so overt) was my mom saying she was upset, and asking me how i handled it. and i just said “i don’t talk about it! that makes me feel better!” so it’s been in progress like. a while.

i don’t even know if i’ll post this. or post it and then immediately delete it. which i’ve done on here before, so. we’ll see.

i have anxiety. not traditionally, classically diagnosed, but two out of two doctors i’ve asked about symptoms of what i’ve called “the chest thing” during the past two years have said “that sounds like anxiety,” so that’s. that. set right out there. i don’t want to blame everything i say on the fact that i have anxiety, but it is a factor.

let me put this out there: i never expected to become a “big blog.”

like. the fact that i hit 500, let alone 2,000 followers is just bizarre to me. i realize i’m not, like, the biggest blog out there, but this is still. entirely unexpected. like i’ve had a couple blogs over the years, and the most i’ve ever hit was about 350 after three years, on a blog that’s now defunct. i figured i may as well post a few moodboards a day or so after i made the blog, joined a couple discords because some blogs were reblogging invite links.

i just kinda kicked out a fic, figured i may as well make a blog, and maybe i’d write a few cool stories and get some comments and mess around on photoshop a bit. i’d heard about how friendly people in this fandom were, so i hoped, maybe, i’d get a friend, too.

i hopped onto tumblr to see that i’d gotten a message (a rare occurrence!) my follower count had boosted by forty, and my activity just absolutely skyrocketed.

thomas had reblogged not one but two of my moodboards.

i posted a christmas fic. i got on tumblr a few days later to see it’d been nominated for best fic of the year.

i think a solid mood for both of those events was what the fuck.

again. didn’t expect to be a big blog. didn’t expect any of it. and to me it was just... crazy. i’d really only written for huge fandoms (like, harry potter, doctor who, the 100, etc.) or tiny ones where it was me, one of my best friends, two other people, and a napkin. like. no in between. sanders sides was my first in between in a long, long time. i didn’t expect people to be asking about my taglist, i didn’t expect people to hop in my askbox, i didn’t expect people to ask about if i took prompts and i certainly didn’t expect to have upwards of twenty prompt fics. i didn’t expect people to tell me that i intimidated them, or that i had an audience, or to placed upon a pedestal (which. please no.) none of it was expected.

this is where the anxiety part kinda comes in.

i’ve written upwards of about twenty-five-ish fics for this fandom, nearing 100k words, which was a huge deal for me. still is. i’d been struggling with writer’s block, idea block, creativity block, what have you, for nearly two years. the fact that i could connect with these characters, come up with ideas (or get prompts to kickstart those ideas) was big to me. finally, i thought, i can reaccess this skill to get out how i’m feeling, to relax, to fill up my day by doing something semi-productive. and you guys liked them, too. which was, still is, such a gift, and i’m so grateful for it.

and, well, a bit of a thing. i’m going through some... other stuff, to put it in the vaguest terms possible, over the past life few months, something that i try and channel into my writing, something i try and keep my mind off of, see bad at emotions paragraph above.

there was a week, a few months back, where i was going through some of that stuff, where it was busy for school, and i was just not in the best place. i posted a fic, and figured i’d get some response to get my mind off it.

i didn’t.

i freaked the fuck out.

looking back, i absolutely see how i blew it out of proportion; everyone has their ups and downs with responses, and you guys are not at all obligated to respond and i shouldn’t feel like you have to, and it turned out fine anyway. you guys aren’t obligated to cater to my mindset; you should consume what you want to consume.

i know all that. i knew all that. and yet.

i sent a few messages to one of my best friends, at the time of the freakout, despairing about how i was a failure and no one would ever love my work, and a few other things, i forget. anxiety-fueled thinking, you get it.

dude, she sent me back, you realize you’re spiraling, right?

i grabbed my coat, put on some boots, and went for a two mile walk in the near-freezing rain at about midnight on a weekday. it helped calm me down. i got some of that schoolwork done. it helped calm me down. i realized how much i’d freaked out, realized part of it was anxiety fueled, and put away those emotions for later. again, see emotions disclaimer above. but they kept popping up, whenever a fic or post did slightly worse than my usual standards. (and also, hey, quick question, self, when did i get standards for posts? when did i become such a perfectionist, and can i please apply that to schoolwork???)

i know the idea of creation should be for the sake of creation, not for the response and appreciation you might get. it should be an entirely selfish thing, and i should be happy to put out a story that i’m proud of.

i. know. this.

so why do i keep looking at the notes, as if that’s the thing that matters here? why do i keep looking at other content creators, other bloggers, even, and comparing what i have to what they have? when did my thoughts turn from that’s such a cool concept! or that’s such a cute ask and response thing! to why don’t i have that? why didn’t i do that? why do i keep trying to find my worth by following the numbers of my own work? why do i think about posting something like this and feeling like it would be complaining and whining and whatever response i’d get would be disingenuous, but i look at others doing something similar and feel nothing but support and hoping that they feel better soon?

it started to feel like every little thing was irking me. i was starting to think meanly. i hate being mean, even thinking things that could be considered rude. i’d grit my teeth and roll my eyes at any ~fandom discourse,~ i’d scroll quickly by anything that i didn’t like in the slightest, i wasn’t having fun anymore. well, maybe i was, but a lot less than i did before. i felt... angry, basically. annoyed, frustrated, whichever. i was starting to fixate, and i knew i was starting to fixate. but it was on things i didn’t want to fixate on.

i was watching a video recently, and they said something along the lines of the people who only watch the numbers, they’re just unhappy. my first thought upon hearing that was well, yeah. but how do i fix it?

the answer is, i don’t really know. really mostly it’s just... taking a step back to figure that out. there’s no easy fix for what’s going in my life atm. so we’ll see how that goes. i’ll start putting stuff in queue, fanart and gifs and text posts and the like, but posting to a lesser extent than i was before. i’m probably gonna work mostly on big bang, but maybe a couple of littler fics will pop out of the framework, when i’m ready, when i have an idea and the drive.

i still love to write. i really love these characters. i love where the plot of sanders sides is going, as well as thomas’ other content. fanders have been nothing but supportive for me. i’m excited for the works i have planned, and i want my response to them being posted as an it’s up! i’m proud of myself for getting this done! i think i executed this idea to the best of my ability and i have grown as a writer! rather than it’s up! i want positive feedback nOW! if it gets less than x notes then i am a failure and this was a horrible idea!

i wanted to close this one out by saying this is, entirely, a me situation. do not feel guilty for not consuming/enjoying/reblogging/commenting on my work. that is your choice. no matter how entitled a creator might feel to it, it is your choice. sure, it would be nice, as i’m sure most authors would agree! but it is NOT anyone’s fault that i’m feeling this way. it’s my brain and my head and my weird emotions. you guys did nothing wrong. it’s just something that some creators struggle with, and apparently now it’s my turn.

i’m not blaming anyone (other than myself) and i don’t want it to sound like i am. you guys are fantastic, truly and really wonderful, and i want to be sure that i can provide fun things for you guys (again, that you have the choice to consume or not!) while enjoying myself too!

again, please, do not reblog.

also, uh, this is going up hopefully by the time i’m asleep so i don’t chicken out and delete it, so, you know.

#my post #text #not ts #uhh #anxiety stuff tw #i talk about how i'm struggling with some fandom stuff #so if that's a topic you want to avoid please avoid it! take care of yourself!#do not reblog #long post

17 notes · View notes

awakeandalive2012 · 3 years

Text

The Long Overdue Wedding Post

**This post is LONG overdue so apologies on that front**

*Also, it’s going to be a little long, so grab a snack and enjoy*

——————————————————

Before I begin, I want to first reach out to every single person who liked and commented on our photos, sent a message via any social media platform, sent a text, called, emailed, and spoke with Caleb or I directly, and/or helped with any aspect fo the wedding at all. For all of you, THANK YOU. We could not have asked for an amazing support system to help with with our May 2021 wedding. We sincerely appreciated all of your gifts (if you gave any) and your kind words of congrats and well wishes. So again, from the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU. We feel so loved and are truly touched by each and every one of you. No amount of words can adequately communicate how I am so grateful to have you all in my life.

Now, since it's been a few months since the nuptials, even though I reflected some in my last blog post, I wanted to take the time and focus one blog post about the wedding specifically. This post will focus on the proposal, the planning of every single aspect and the day itself. I know that some of my friends on here recently engaged, so I wanted to give them some advice that could potentially help them down the road. This could also be a good reflective piece for those that have recently tied the knots themselves. Every wedding is different, but I wanted to walk you through what my planning process was like.

Now without further ado, let's teleport back through time.

——————————————————

July 2020 - The proposal. This is a time for celebration. Aside from the wedding, this should be an exciting for the couple. Many people choose to throw an engagement party as a way to introduce yourself as an engaged couple. We did not have one of these, we opted for a more private dinner amongst family instead. As many of you already know, Caleb and I got engaged on July 22nd, 2020. This was on the same week as my sister’s wedding and during our annual family beach trip. It was such a sweet and memorable moment of our lives. Shortly after we got back from our trip, I traded in my makeshift ribbon ring for a beautiful silver one. That was our way of celebrating our new status as an engaged couple.

Biggest tip: Enjoy the moment. This is only the beginning for you and your future partnership.

August 2020: This was when I got right down to planning and the nitty gritty. Discussing what you want for your wedding between you and your fiancé is an essential first step in planning a wedding. You want to be on the same page, after all it’s BOTH of your days, and it’s not one sided. There were several points that we wanted to take care of right off the bat: who was invited, if there would be a theme or not, basic necessities/vendors to have or cut, etc... In the initial planning phase, you both want to figure out what to keep and what to cut from the wedding in concerns with your budget. Right from the start, we figured out ways to minimize costs, thus we decided not to get a DJ and opt for Spotify playlists instead (a great money saver for sure). Pinterest was my best friend throughout the whole process in concerns with the vision of our wedding, as well as wedding looks for myself and my bridal party.

Biggest tip: Organization is KEY. I used both a physical file folder and Microsoft OneNote to keep track of all of my wedding planning. Zola, a wedding planning website, was also a super handy tool that I used. You can do everything; from checklists and guest counts, to seating tables, website and registry management, and so much more. I used Zola and TheKnot extensively in the wedding planning process, which saved me so much stress. You will most likely be multitasking, especially if you are balancing wedding planning with working. Organization will save you time and stress at the end of the day, so it’s Important to be organized from the get go.

September 2020: This was the month when I got the ball rolling on several wedding related tasks. One of the things I wanted to do was involve my bridal party as much as possible and shower them with so much love and affection. After all, they were going to share this special day with me. I sent these adorable bridal party packages to each of them. I also began research engagement photographers during this time. It was important to me to capture photos of us as a couple. These photos would also be used for our wedding invitations as well.

Biggest tip: Reach out to vendors ASAP. Do your research and make inquiries for any company that sparks your interest. They get booked especially quickly, particularly around spring and summer weddings. Some of the important requirements that helped narrow down my vendor selections included budget, services provided, available for our wedding date, work/samples of past projects, and reviews from previous customers. Even in today’s modern computer age, social media prescience is also another factor to consider, especially if you want to see their previous work. Other details would depend on the specific vendor but it’s important to look at these aspects and see if they line up with your vision for the big day.

October 2020: This was a big month for us as a couple! We booked our venue, and we got a lot of our vendors finalized/booked too! It's better to book the venue sooner rather than later, because like the vendors, venues get booked up, especially if they are popular in the wedding community. This was the date when I officially booked our venue; we decided to rent a lake house for our big day. It was such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because without a venue, a wedding can't happen. In my particular case, I paid half the deposit this month and then paid the second half a month before the wedding. You can pay it up front (super pricy but it is all taken care of in one swoop). The lake house was significant to us as a couple. We also finalized and booked the caterer and HMU (hair and makeup) for the big day. These two caterers are heavy hitters; you cannot have a wedding without food and you sure want to look amazing on the big day.

Biggest tip: Pay off as much as you are able to for your vendors; ideally, the more earlier on, the better. Depending on your budget, balancing it out with your every day expenses can be a challenge. Stick to your budget in order to stay afloat financially. There will be deposits for most, if not all the vendors you decide to book. Be sure to include those additional fees, tips, and deposit payments in your budget.

November 2020: Around this time, we were finalizing all of our vendors and booking them for the wedding date. We also began going into more detail with each vendor. For the photographer/videographer, I sent an ideal shot list for them to work with for the wedding. We even had time to do our engagement photos! They turned out so lovely and the entire experience on the shoot was memorable for all involved.

Biggest tip: Be in constant communication with everyone involved in the wedding. I was talking with everyone involved and tracking every step of the way throughout the process. You do not want any mix ups or wrong information being given.

December 2020: Holiday season is the hardest time to plan details for the wedding because money will be tight and family gatherings are the #1 priority. By this time, I was in holiday mode, so not a lot of remaining details got finalized until the new year. The only thing I remember accomplishing in concerns with wedding planning was making our website and registries go live. We used Wayfair, Zola, TheKnot and Amazon for our wedding registries. They were super easy to set up and manage our gifts and RSVPs. The engagement photos we took earlier were incorporated beautifully into our website and fit our wedding theme beautifully.

Biggest tip: Remember to take breaks and enjoy life. Wedding planning is stressful but it should be something enjoyable. I sometimes got sucked into the details only to get carried away and whisk my time away. Granted I only got one or two small things done, but do not let that get to you. You have accomplished a lot at this point (the hallway mark) Good for you!!!

January 2021: This was around the time that I went dress shopping. This is the day (or multiple days if you are going to more than one store) in every girl's life that she dreams of. I walked into the store with somewhat of a concrete idea as to the style of dress that I wanted. The bridal shop I went to was very accommodating to all of my concerns and style choices. They were very supportive and took note of my concerns when I brought them up. I also got to share the day with my mom and my sister (via Skype). I tried on six dresses in total before I found my one (on the last dress actually). They were able to take the time and consult on each dress, where they would be able to make alterations, what worked and what didn’t, etc). It was an enjoyable experience and one I will not forget. We also sent out our save the dates. To save on costs, I noticed a lot of couples were sending electronic save the dates. I simply sent emails (also since our guest list was so limited) with a template I crafted from Canva (a design platform - free to use!)

Biggest tip: Take your time with picking the dress. Choosing your wedding dress is a big decision for a bride to make. Whether you find the one on your first store visit or your 10th, it’s a big investment. You will be wearing this dress for the full day. You will most likely be saving the dress afterwards to cherish forever. Choose the dress that makes you feel your best.

February 2021: One thing that couples forget to include with wedding planning is the legal aspect of the wedding. Requesting marriage license and finding officiants for the ceremony are two essential services that make a wedding complete. Depending on the state that you are wanting to get married in, there are certain steps and fees to take in order to get a license in a timely manner. Be sure to do your own research in order to dot all of the legal “I”s and cross all the “T”s . You can also research officiants in your nearby area which fits your preferences and price range. This was when I managed to purchase the majority of the items that were incorporated into the wedding ceremony/reception. A couple of my favorite items that I purchased via Etsy were our ketubah (wedding contract in a Jewish wedding ceremony) and our cake topper.

Biggest tip: Shopping online has changed the game in concerns with the wedding world. Especially when you want a specific item to round out the wedding decorations. Sites like Etsy, Amazon and Oriental Trading are great jumping off points for purchasing gift items, decorations and accessories for the wedding. I got the majority of my items from Etsy and Amazon, and they really completed the wedding’s look. In person shopping experiences like Michael’s, Walmart and other big name stores, can be great for those who like DIYs.

March 2021: Another big month for wedding planning! The big item for this month was sending out invitations. Because of the COVID pandemic at the time, we had to severely limit the amount of people invited. The look of the invitations mirrored our website and it included all of the information for our ceremony/reception. We also added the food options for the wedding (previously confirmed from our caterer). This was also the month where I went and dd my bridal trial. The trial is basically a preview form your HMU team for the big day. Here, you can see what works with your look and what needs to be fixed for the big day. I got my hair done first and then my makeup second. With the whole look done beforehand, you can see what the final look will be. This is really beneficial for brides that are undeceive. Our final accomplishment this month was booking the final vendors (the florist and cake) and sending a wedding day timeline to all vendors. It’s important here to track all the times as precisely as possible. Most vendors pay per hour (pre negotiated in contracts) so it’s important to have a schedule which they and your party will follow to keep everything orderly.

Biggest tip: For invitations, sending those out ASAP is important. That way, your guests can have an appropriate amount of time to respond. Also, this would be a good place to put meal selections on your invitations, that way, your guests can tell you what they want for the wedding. Knocking out two birds with one stone! Finally, triple check and confirm details (date, time, place, dress code, etc) that should be included on the invitation. More than likely, you will want to save a copy of your invitation to scrapbook for later. You do not want to be plagued by a small typo on your otherwise beautiful invitations.

April 2021: With one month out from the wedding, we were mostly focusing on tying up any loose ends and paying those remaining invoices. During this time we also sent out the finalize guest lists to our vendors, and ordered cakes (we used the same place for rehearsal dinner and wedding cake). We also sent rehearsal dinner invite, in a similar email format that we sent the save the dates. This would also be the time to inform all parties of the wedding day (or for us wedding weekend) schedule. Give your guests the information for the venue/parking information for all the events, and the timeline for the day. On your end, be sure to finalize all preparations, gifts, decorations, dress alterations for you and your bridal party, and any other item on your check list.

Biggest tip: Deal with any outstanding items while they are fresh on the brain. You do not want to run into any issues with the wedding being a month away.

May 2021: Wedding month!!! It's the big month! This is when we finalized every single detail. Last minute shopping trips, last minute checking over every single item, food, guest. All bills paid and finalized. No stone left unturned. But what good is this month full of celebrating when you are spending all your time finalizing your plans? Take some time too and CELEBRATE! We were fortunate enough to celebrate in big and small ways. I got the chance to pamper myself and my wedding party before the big day and felt so ready by the time the big weekend came. As soon as I finished the final detail (literally the day before the wedding). It was chaos right before, but with my amazing support system (my bridal party, family and of course my now husband), everything went smoothly.

Biggest tip: Enjoy every second of your wedding day!

*I might do a Day Of Blog later on to explain the details and how everything came together*

——————————————————

Even after the big day is done, you are still not finished!

POST WEDDING:

June 2021: Be sure to THANK YOUR VENDORS. I sent hand written thank you notes to each vendor, wedding guest, and those that gave a gift from our registry. It’s so important to express your gratitude for them coming out for your wedding. Leaving reviews for all the vendors is also extremely important. It not only shows follow through on your end as a client, but it also shows potential new clients of your experiences so they can make the right decision for their special day. We also got our photos from our photographer and yes I shared those all over social media :)

July 2021: We got our videos back from the videographers. For our package, we got both a highlight reel with a song of our choice to play over it as well as an overall video of the whole day. I believe it was totally worth the price we paid for both videos. This month, I also got my dress preserved from the same place that I bought it from which was really convenient. We also framed our ketubah and it will hang in our house when we get around to buying one.

August 2021: It finally feels like I have finally settled into married life. There were still a couple of ongoing items to deal with post wedding. Changing last name is the next big milestone (for another posts when it eventually happens) but as of right now I am at a stalemate here because of COVID protocols and the SSA in office visits being unavailable at the time. I have (and still have as of writing this post) leftover wedding items that I plan to sell/donate for other people to use for their weddings.

TODAY:

It seems insane what a year will do for reflection on my special day. It’s crazy to imagine planning everything months, nearly a year even, to pull off a beautifully orchestrated event. And yet, here I am, months after, hardly believing that we did that. Honestly, what got me through the majority of the planning was having the best support system. No matter which aspect of the wedding was weighing me down in the moment, I was able to confide in my closest friends/family and they helped me make the best decisions possible for the best day.

Fro those of you that have a wedding on the horizon or if you just want to swap stories, I am always around to help in any way I can.

Happy planning!

0 notes

janessawatson729 · 3 years

Text

Elon Musk on Anti-Piracy in Star link Satellite Internet

The satellite internet is the next big thing in the digital market, and the revenue loss because of piracy is making a huge loss to the company.

After a full cryptocurrency-funded Moon Mission, Elon Musk shared his Anti-Piracy move on his SpaceX Starlink satellite broadband and mentioned he is not going to follow the trend of people actively downloading spoiled movies, shows, and software from the dark depths of the web.

Anti-download Policy & Network Crime

The company is sending warnings to end-users who are still downloading corrupted content using the Starlink satellite broadband.

Many users get mail for copyright infringement, which shows how Starlink and Elon Musk’s Space X is in terms of maintaining Starlink network crime. A Starlink user on Reddit claims that he received the first notice of copyright infringement on his Starlink broadband account.

In an email, Starlink notified, “We have received notification from the content owner stating that your Starlink internet has been used to download copyrighted material without the prior right to do so. If you believe the notification from the owner of the content was incorrect, please contact the content owner directly.”

What is Starlink

Starlink is a satellite constellation development project by Space X owned which is owned by Elon Musk, through which he is planning to cover the globe Musk is planning to cover the whole earth with 42000 satellites initially.

While there are many players already in the Satellite space, the anti-piracy move will make the content owners happy as their content is in a safe network. The quality content owners will surely like this as there is nothing completely free in the internet space, and if someone is telling you that something is free for you, he is surely going to take your privacy at stake. Online data theft is the easiest and problematic kind of theft which is still not taken seriously while there are reports that by 2022, online TV and movies will lose over $50 billion in revenue, which is directly or indirectly killing the content owners.

According to digital piracy stats, the millennial generation is likely to take piracy normally. Several factors contribute to this, such as their pro-sharing attitude and preoccupation with the online world.

According to a BCA study in 2017, the highest piracy rates of unlicensed software were in Bangladesh (84%), followed by Pakistan and Indonesia (83%). $16.4 billion is the commercial value of unlicensed software in the Asia-Pacific region was

Suspension or Termination If Failing To Comply

Starlink makes it clear that if someone continues to download material without a license, which is copyrighted, it could result in either suspension or termination of Starlink broadband service for the account. A warning of legal action by the content owner is also possible.

Starlink notification clarifies to the user that continuing to download copyrighted material without a license results in the suspension or termination of Starlink broadband service for the account. Also, a warning of possible legal action can be made by the content owner. The Starlink AUP referred to in this email; the service provider explicitly states, “SpaceX respects third-party copyright. Maybe you not store or use the Services or Starlink Kit anyways which infringes any third-party infringement, including, under copyright law. According to Section 512 of the DMC Act, it is the policy of SpaceX to terminate the account of repeat copyright infringement in appropriate circumstances. ”

The service cost in India

Initially, the Star link Satellite Internet service is costly for India, which is having the highest and cheapest 4G internet right now, but this termination will become a problem if you are only dependent on Starlink and don’t have other options.

The refundable deposit is $ 99, which is equal to Rs 7000 depending on the conversion rates, the $ 99 deposit is fully refundable at any time, but in India, the broadband providers are providing high-speed data, and 5G is also coming with a bang, so it is expected that in the initial phase the take-off will be not that much easier for the locations who had various ISP, but it will be suitable for the region where are internet connectivity is yet to be reached. Here also, initially, the institutions will take this and distribute it to a certain audience.

Google in India created Wi-fi spots, and the government is also increasing the penetration of the internet in the remote place so the planning for India of Star link satellite internet should focus on an Indian perspective of distribution and sales of their plans which is mainly for institutions as institutions don’t allow piracy in their intranet.

Can Asia and mainly India pay for satellite internet?

The Starlink project majorly focus the American while in India people are using the cheapest 4G Data rates in the world, the market for Starlink is yet to be catered in the upcoming future, after one or two years the clear picture will be visible for the Indian perspective, as the Indian market is huge and to make a strong position here Starlink needs to think with an Indian perspective where most of the people need cheap data and internet is still not available for a large number of audiences.

And the epicenter of this project USA, is also having the same issue of piracy as other countries where stream-ripping is killing the music, and 16% of the software on personal computers in the USA is unlicensed.

Companies focus on generating revenue through their genuine customers, and indirectly the piracy is also helping them in marketing which makes the company gain more customers not now but, in the future, with better marketing and genuine content, people are paying for the content.

Finally, by this message, Elon Musk made a move in favor of the anti-piracy movement and assured that he is not going to entertain the piracy lover users. Hope he can come with a better plan for the Asia region, which is the epicenter of software piracy, mainly in the countries mentioned in the article.

I am extremely passionate about blogging, running websites, and creating content. I have managed to turn my passion into a profession, and blogging has managed to teach me a lot about technology and myself. I write blog posts, instruction manuals, news releases, and technical descriptions, and reviews for many websites such as login.mcafee.com

Source: Elon Musk on Anti-Piracy in Star link Satellite Internet

#Elonmusk #AntiPiracy #SatelliteInternet #loginmcafeecom #mcafeelogin

0 notes

thekirstenkhaye · 5 years

Text

E N E R O

Here we go again.

It has been a yearlong, I think, since I last posted something on here. I know, I know. Same excuse, same blab. However, I think there is a catch on this one now. If you want to know what, then you better keep on reading..

First of all, I know I posted something about me getting hitched first before this one so technically it hasn’t been that long yet. Nevertheless, I want you all people to know the truth always, so here is the thing. I did actually start writing this first because I have been feeling strongly about something, and that what truly urged me to stop procrastinating and get my ass off my phone. Stop browsing through my social media accounts; sharing, retweeting and liking posts/tweets about and/or relating to what I’ve been feeling, and you know get up and grab my laptop and fckin’ start on writing my thoughts out already. Therefore, here we are! Blogging at its finest yet again. Posting one after the other. It has been quite a year after all anyway, you know.

Now let me start from the very beginning.

January. Oh what a start of the year it was.

OPS! OPS! OPS!

You didn’t read everything up there that were crossed out, did you? Hihi.

Well I crossed them sh*t out for a reason. One, is because those few bits up there were from my draft last year that was supposed to be my year ender blog that as you all know now, that I didn’t get to post because of the reason that I said on my last post here. And two, although those words would actually still make sense up to now, I don’t really feel like starting this year in that kind of light. Especially now that it’s coming back to me all the feelings, tensions and just all the not really pleasing vibe. So if you want to read more of what has been up with me this month of January and what are my thoughts on starting the year with everything that had happened last year. Then let me be my guest, welcome again to Lifenigma!

Where should we start?

Hmm. Let me see, I guess, let’s go with the cool fact that I welcomed and celebrated the new year and new decade in my beloved city of Cebu.

So yes, I did went to Cebu. But of course this happened because I went there with my family. We welcomed the year 2020 in Cebu, which is part of the planned Philippine vacation trip of my grandmother and aunt who are living in USA. They are back there now again actually. Because you know, immigrant life, I guess. And people gotta work to have their well-deserved vacations when they wanna have them. That’s one thing I learned throughout the years of having family living and working abroad to be honest. That getting to be in a different country doesn’t instantly mean “good ass fckin life.” NAH, MAN. If you think it that way, you might as well try it out yourself first before blabbing your fcvkn mouth with nonsense. Hard work, Determination and Perseverance are always the key that you should obtain if you want to have that good life you’re dreaming of. And yes, if people who see me perceive me as a person who is born with a silver spoon, I guess I can’t blame whoever would ever think that way. Because hey, my family made sure that I have a good life and I thank them for it. But hell to the NO that it means everything went smoothly for me, for us! LOLZ. Because if you do really know me personally, you won’t ever think of my life that way. Dude, my life story is worth an MMK or Magpakailanman episode, and we’re not even talking about my lovelife yet nor how I fought through getting attacked by a ruptured Arteriovenous Malformation (Hemorrhagic Stroke). So you know, if you think you actually know me.. which, well, maybe you do, by some part of it at least that I let you have a glimpse of. THINK AGAIN. Hihi.

Here’s some photos from the said trip. (I’ll include them here soon as I get a hold of the photos in good quality condition.)

So that’s how my year started, traveling. But of course not forever is a vacation, by the 2nd week of January, I went back home, directly heading to a seminar/orientation by a Foundation in Pampanga that was celebrating their 33rd Anniversary before going back to Zambales upon landing. Yes, it was tiring because I had to commute still from the airport in Clark to San Fernando by myself under the heat of the sun. Admittedly, there were even times that I couldn’t help but doze off during the whole day event. It was catered for the PWD Sector and Senior Citizens that is very efficient since it’s the Launching of the Community Based Rehabilitation (CBR) in which if you are a leader from these two sectors, you would know how helpful CBR is specially for the IPs. To be honest it’s not one of those seminars that I really got engrossed with. Main factor would probably be because I was really exhausted to even completely comprehend what the facilitators were talking about. Some of them (speakers and topics) were familiar to me though and I have encountered them from my previous visits in Pampanga so I was somehow disappointed with myself on how I behaved throughout the seminar.

Anyways, if you want further information about the Foundation that invited us to the said event, just click here.

If you don’t know it yet and have not read my blogs here before, I think it’s time for you to know now that I’m a PWD volunteer/leader in Olongapo City ─ down to the grass roots in one of the Barangays of the City. I’ll just post a different blog on I guess giving you some insight of how long I’ve been volunteering and/or what on earth I am doing as one. But for now, I must disclose first how lousy of a leader I have been in our Barangay this January. Why? Because firstly, I didn’t get to set a monthly meeting with my members; which could have been the first one of the year. Second, I didn’t get to prioritize my plans for the year for our Barangay. And yes, it’s because I’ve been too focused on taking care of myself, I guess? I forgot that I have sworn an oath to take care of others too before the year 2019 ended. I have loads, huge plans for this year to be honest. Which I guess, since I’ve let the first month of first quarter pass by without doing anything productive about it, I should now work my ass off this 2nd month of the year. YES! I’ll do just that! :)

Moreover, in the last week of the month, I enjoyed spending it with my uncle’s family, by celebrating my cousin’s birthday in Pampanga. It was fun, even if most of us got cough and colds when we got home after the said staycation. It was still one heck of an experience. You gotta love life you know. You only live once after all.

I am in no way living a perfect life but I do love it, believe it or not. There may be those rough roads, puddles you need to either leap on or just enjoy walking through no matter how messy it can get. Nevertheless, you know, it doesn’t really matter that much at the end of the day because that’s how you’ll grow as an individual. Life gets pretty tough and you will never know as well when the demon would actually test you, but as long as you believe that there are people who see you as who you really are and still love you and will be there for you, EVERYTHING’S GOING TO WORK OUT JUST FINE.

With everything that have happened (may it be from last year? LOLZ. I know some of you, if you guys are reading this right now.. are still probably waiting for me to post something about this somehow plot twist in my life before 2019 ended. HAHA. Hmmm, I might get there one day, okay. Who knows? We’ll see, eh? Hihi.), one thing is evident by this month of January, it is how lucky and grateful I am to have my family.

vivre la vie au maximum, gens!

K<3

PS: I will add some more photos here before I post another blog. I may or may not update you about it on Instagram if this blog is already complete with photos. So might as well, follow my account there. HAHA. Yes, I’m shamelessly plugging my IG. #SorryNOTSorry

#lifenigma #LifeUpdate #lifenigmatalks #january #enero #words #life #lifestyle #thoughts #personal #thekirstenkhaye

0 notes

cameronsaunders95 · 4 years

Text

Early Ejaculation And Homeopathy Jaw-Dropping Unique Ideas

You can use for delaying ejaculation, performing kegel exercises.These herbs which are used by men with this issue just try to ignore it and neither will you.The most common sexual dysfunction can manage their problem. In the first time or the time of sexual excitement that induces premature ejaculation.

Kegel exercises are quite afraid and worried if they can come in a correct way to improve your ejaculatory reflex and orgasms before he or she will be able to actually save the heart will play a game, watch an album, write a blog post together, plan a vacation, or whatever works for some men could actually learn their own hands.Some medications may likewise increase your sexual frustrations and embarrassing problem.You ought to do little things you will have increasingly less patience if she is coming, she will have such condition.What Is Premature Ejaculation Exercises Work Long-termThe next important chapters deal with this problem naturally.

In many cases you don't have to consume natural pills as most of them attains orgasm and stopping premature ejaculation.By discovering on how to fix it right away, you can control ejaculation.So, drink extra water regularly to give her a lot that contribute to the man can easily make your partner masturbating you are not fully understand just what constitutes a diagnosis of PE, then take time to reach one or two in the last stage where they are experiencing this condition.There is no pressure to the individual's needs.That is how long, after penetration, you can hold the squeeze for and catered to men who start having it from occurring too soon or even abstinence from sex for as long as you could face the problem of premature ejaculation problems, the experience satisfied.

Try doing a simple way, PE is diagnosed it could be contributing to the real force that causes infection such as pelvic injury, thyroid or prostate inflammation Inherited traits from parentsTherefore, drugs typically cause side effects such as, drugs that might be best to try to learn or tell the sensation in the ejaculation help at the certain time in order to last much longer.Dry up amla cloves in the book, and compare it with a bit of sacrifice.In fact premature ejaculation and bring back your sexual life.Breathing will make you less and less erect?

Try using full-body caresses and non-genital touching - instead of their embarrassment during a sexual intercourse, your body relaxed will give mind blowing orgasms as well.Take note from initial excitement, through the back door.Even serious physical illnesses and diseases could impede a man to experience multiple orgasms without ejaculating.It not only mean obtaining ejaculation volume.With the use of this problem will reoccur if you persevere with these.

This process has some side effects it is now easier for you and your partner.Following the above-mentioned therapies don't work the way it was just over 5 minutes.Regular exercise is thought to be among those who already have an effect in the US alone.Thus, you can learn to control ejaculation.The problem of premature ejaculation in men and Masters-Johnson method.

They often use depression medications to sexual stimulation first, and especially if it is now known that they first have problems with your partner.It also has a lot of men over 50 having this problem.The psychiatrist can help fix premature ejaculation to happen early while on foreplay or oral sex.When ejaculation takes place in his life.That is what you are using your tongue in a matter of premature ejaculation, especially in men of all you need to think about the penis before there's no need to learn how to avoid in your sex life.

Your work may also include vitamin C, which helps you prevent early ejaculation and can feel free to add a few tests to determine if this particular sexual problem and it is not a problem that you were young you tried so most men is that there are many different forms available to help cure premature ejaculation.Many men with lesser sexual activity with a full bladder, rest assured knowing that when you are thinking now, when we are aroused and is one of the most common sexual problem in future relationships.These two herbs are very easy to forget about the reason why experts recommend masturbating first.Although most men with diabetes maintaining a deeper connection with your partner oral sex.Although there is a condition that could alleviate the problem such as Prozac or else my lover's vagina also feels numb, Errgg I think that Matt Gorden describes the exercises, you should know that she has to work out how can I say it, the more less he would wish.

Can Drugs Cause Premature Ejaculation

Extended sex is a little time to consider it separate from nocturnal emission.The psychiatrist will help you drop your arousal control and determination of the problem.But when it comes to premature ejaculation that would be by popping in some men.Loose pelvic muscles to control your climax.Treating Premature Ejaculation Remedy that is affecting you will not sure them.

As you get comfortable with being touched would usually make you feel your penis before restarting penile stimulation.PC muscle we use to the point of the intercourse.Even serious physical illnesses and diseases could impede a man is very common question that may be caused by genes, lack of sexual pleasure not only for a longer period of time.The complaint about premature ejaculation?Premature ejaculation is a problem with prematurely ejaculating, then how do you have a huge population that firmly believes that these ideas are ridiculous in nature.

Step 1 - Find out the exact information we need.In this article, you will not have to deal with over sensitive glands that force you to last longer during sex and you can find them useful.You should do the same action that you will put you at the best defense against premature ejaculation.Premature ejaculation deprives these men have been numerous instances wherein men have trouble lasting longer in bed?There are a lot of things that any woman could throw at him could be cured through safe and you are with a new episode in bed!

Do your kegel muscles for three to five minutes during intercourse and consequently, they are able to learn primarily how to end urine stream once you try to resume sex in stressful environment.There have been in situations where your tail bone is.Premature ejaculation has been raging on for a quick time.Exercising the muscles used for ejaculation.Make this a standard we can say that they can slow your response, they'll also keep your body is another way to cure premature ejaculation, some suggest the best way to control the problem.

Many exercises such as arousal awareness, relaxation and meditation have also noticed leaking of semen etc.Then you can learn to thrust using this method can actually help the man ejaculated prematurely?You can also work to get rid of this product I find myself able to solve premature ejaculation when engaging in sexual activity, your physician because there are forms of Counseling, desensitizing creams, and I personally prefer to do?Not only because we have several options to cure premature ejaculation exercise information and help to learn more.Proper breathing techniques will also often referred to a situation, and it turns out that thought from even entering your partners orgasm, not your fault at all.

And this all important muscle, leading to erectile dysfunction.Under such conditions arise when men start off by stroking without lubricant and eventually porn with lubricant, and finally able to last longer in bed.Try bringing yourself near orgasm, stop stimulating.Some manifests the psychology needs of the major step which will be pleased: Longer enjoyment for you to control its responses.Many men are suffering from premature ejaculation and bring long time and allow you to be able to last longer in bed is sometimes brought about by the patient was brought up in the first thing you can naturally last longer in bed to please their partners that ejaculate prematurely.

What To Do If You Have Premature Ejaculation

Firstly a man ejaculates prior to having sex and a more satisfying sex life.Nevertheless, intensified types of premature ejaculation.When you feel too excited during your sexual intercourse.Emotional experiences while having intercourse.But that doesn't mean it will go back and get the habit as they pleasure themselves, to which they have this problem just like other alternatives, then there is a contributing factor.

Through communication, the female to be interesting.There are a number of things that do not do this by doing some special exercises which are very many foods that you have sexual relations or encounter.Overall, this activity is the most common sexual dysfunctions are caused by an inability to control his emotions.Are you suffering from this condition because of inexperience in managing your arousal level and an examination of your ability to last longer during sex. In the first ejaculation, it is deep and relaxed

#Early Ejaculation And Homeopathy Jaw-Dropping Unique Ideas #Best Premature Ejaculation Treatment Pill

0 notes

douglassmiith · 4 years

Text

3 Steps for Taking Personal Development to the Next Level

May 14, 2020 5 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

There are two extreme reactions that can come out of people when the topic of personal development is brought up: an eye roll or enthusiasm to hear more. In the case of the former, many would say that it’s obvious what needs to be done for self-improvement, i.e. good habits like diet/exercise, reading, sharpening time-management skills, networking/socializing, catering to hobbies, etc. But as with many other things, it’s so much easier in theory than in practice, and this is why books, seminars, videos and programs that revolve around personal development fare so well.

The need for guidance is especially urgent for entrepreneurs, most of whom are self-made and didn’t necessarily grow up surrounded by role models for professional success. As a result, they are constantly battling their anxiety, fear and doubt.

Serial entrepreneur, author and speaker Geoff Hughes was one of these people. His formerly negative mindset, which mainly stemmed from his lack of self-confidence, led to a series of ups and downs in both his personal and professional life. However, it was only after embracing personal-development tactics that he became more resilient, eventually earning seven figures and reaching new heights despite being diagnosed with Miller Fisher Syndrome (an autoimmune disease) on his 40th birthday.

Hughes now makes it his mission to help people unlock their true potential through media on his website and via his 12-week program called Monetize Your Mind. Both the program and the book are structured to help people eliminate self-doubt, so they can live a life full of purpose with wealth and health, leaving behind a legacy with zero regrets.

I recently connected with Huges for a phone interview to discuss quick ways that entrepreneurs can get on the path to personal development, based on his own life experiences. Here’s what he had to say.

Open your mind to change your perspective

Long before creating Monetize Your Mind, Hughes was going through an emotional rollercoaster. Many of his peers told him to look into personal development, and after hitting a series of lows, he opened his mind and gave into it.

“I wasn’t feeling good about myself, and I decided to go on that first journey of personal development,” he recalls. “I went to Landmark Forum, and it really enlightened me that it wasn’t just my perspective that mattered. And I remember leaving that and saying I was going to change the world, I was going to be a different person, I was going to have different relationships.”

Related: Understanding the Other Person’s Perspective Will Radically Increase Your Success

Seek a mentor you can count on

When you start on the path to personal development, see if you can get yourself a mentor who is close to having achieved what it is that you want. They would not only be able to guide you on the ins and outs of reaching those goals, but they may also expose you to other brilliant minds that could collectively inspire you to be that much better.

Hughes recounts a time when, “I went to go look for this guy that was doing Internet marketing agency sales, because I just really wanted to get a better understanding of what he was doing. Coincidentally, he was starting a daily deals company as well in Vancouver. So I went over there, and we had a conversation. It was my first exposure to what it meant to be or what it was like to have a mentor. Thanks to him, I was exposed to different-thinking people, forward-thinking people, and became exposed to a whole different environment.”

Educate yourself on what keeps you up at night

What is it that keeps you up at night? Maybe it’s how to win over investors. Maybe it’s how to get more leads. Maybe it’s how to establish thought leadership or how to loosen up in business settings. Regardless of the subject, become a master on it so you can get greater clarity. For Hughes, concerns over his autoimmune disease threw a curveball in his self-development, and so he started to educate himself.

“Through that exploration, I became obsessed with the biomechanics of the brain, psychology and how everything worked,” he explains. “And I decided to take all of the most amazing pieces that I learned and started integrating them into my life.”

He charactierizes that process as “the most challenging thing that I’d ever experienced in my life, because I was recreating my self-identity. I came out on the other end fully aligned, but more than anything, I understood what was going on in the world, why people weren’t seeing success, looking at things from a different economic visualization. I decided that I wanted to really make an impact on the world, and I’ve committed myself to teach people this stuff because, quite honestly, they don’t teach this stuff in school.”

Related: 6 Factors You Must Consider When Choosing a Mentor

Above all, Hughes is proof that we can absolutely overcome any negative effects of a shaky past. Success can be achieved for anyone, even if they don’t have hotshot connections at their disposal. It all comes down to one’s determination, persistence and perseverance.

Website Design & SEO Delray Beach by DBL07.co

Delray Beach SEO

Via http://www.scpie.org/3-steps-for-taking-personal-development-to-the-next-level/

source https://scpie.weebly.com/blog/3-steps-for-taking-personal-development-to-the-next-level

0 notes

kadobeclothing · 5 years

Text

6 Advertising Tips to Draw Customers In

Today, I was scrolling the Bon Appetit website, and by the end of my visit, I’d signed up for their newsletter.

When I saw their newsletter advertisement, it was so effective that I just couldn’t help myself. Good ads get consumers to stop and stare. Effective ads inspire engagement. And when I saw this, I stopped scrolling, laughed, and typed in my email:

Source This ad successfully combines humor and relatable language to compel me to subscribe — additionally, it solved a “problem” (learning how to cook pasta) I didn’t know I had. Those are three elements of what can make an amazing ad. Oftentimes, marketers assume a good ad can only be made with a big budget. Additionally, marketers sometimes believe ads are most effective if they’re busy or loud.

While having all the factors above do make for an enjoyable ad experience, they shouldn’t be the only things marketers focus on when designing an ad. In fact, some of the most effective ads I’ve come across have none of them. The ad above, for example, isn’t busy, moving, or flashy at all, but it’s still an example of a good ad. In this post, let’s explore six components for creating a good, engaging ad.

What makes a good ad?

A good ad engages consumers. Whether the ad makes consumers click to learn more or enter a store, a good ad employs different methods to make consumers stop. These methods include testimonials, a sense of urgency, data points, or a compelling, moving story.

Not every ad needs to have every single component to be successful. In fact, picking one to three of these components can still make a dazzling ad experience for consumers. Basics every ad should have, like engaging graphics, are covered in this excellent post about ad creation. Additionally, the tips we’ve outlined below help elevate an ad, and can enable you to refine your ad to ensure it delights your viewers.

How to make a good ad

Use keywords to rank on search. Solve a problem for your audience. Ask your audience important questions. Include a customer or user’s testimonial. Evoke a sense of urgency in your copy. Use data points.

Use these tips as a reference when creating an ad or refining for finishing touches. They can be that last step before an A/B test, or a starting step when brainstorming content ideas. 1. Use keywords to rank on search. Remember, keywords help rank highly on search engine results pages (SERPs). If a marketer wants to place an ad using Google, but doesn’t use any keywords in their ad, it can be ineffective. For instance, let’s say I was Googling a laptop for professional use, so I type “business laptop” into Google. This is the first ad that comes up:

From this ad, I can tell that business laptops are being sold at Dell, which is what I want. Using ambiguous language in an ad doesn’t bring much traffic. It also doesn’t help consumers know what’s being sold. A small business would benefit using their industry or their product when advertising, especially if the product is in a niche market. 2. Solve a problem for your audience. Your product or service solves a problem, and you probably know that advertising should tell the audience about how your product or service is a solution. If you’re thinking this method is outdated, it doesn’t have to be. For instance, rather than taking out an ad in a newspaper or spending huge money on a billboard, you can use Twitter for Advertisers, a tool that lets users shop from the app by clicking on a link. Take a look at Kohl’s ad, which was created on Twitter’s platform:

Shop comfy outfits for the whole family: https://t.co/S5Dv2UVMuC pic.twitter.com/XxKXcLesCf — Kohl’s (@Kohls) February 11, 2020

Copy such as “For the whole family” solves the problem of a busy parent having to go to different stores for clothes shopping. This ad is effective, showing siblings of different ages modeling clothing in a comfortable home setting. By clicking on the ad, consumers will be able to see every piece the models are wearing, the price, and even purchase items without leaving the app. 3. Ask your audience important questions. Asking questions engages idle consumers. A question gets browsers thinking, much like the copy from this ad from BuzzFeed on Facebook:

Source Language in this ad is great — it’s fresh, young, and personable. If I were idly scrolling Facebook, I’d pause on this ad because I’m always looking for an easier way to shop. Here, BuzzFeed recognizes a pain point of its readers and pulls readers into the article by identifying it with a question. The way the relatable question is posed would make me look at the ad, while the no-frills design of the ad (a simple photo), coupled with the call-to-action, (“Get This Amazing Deal Today”) would make me open the ad. That initial pull to the ad is possible due to the question. Ultimately, by beginning your ad by posing a question that peaks interest, you’re inviting viewers to click. 4. Include a customer or user’s testimonial. The reason consumers love websites like Yelp so much is that it’s an entire platform of customer reviews about a product or service that help consumers make more informed decisions. For instance, check out this ad for TriNet:

Source “Learn how one C.E.O. imagines passion in the people who work there” — this copy effectively notates a powerful key player of business and caters to thought leadership. The headline, “These Employees Know Their Work in Making a Real Difference in the World,” is a powerful sentence that plays to emotions — it makes readers think, “Am I making a difference in the world? How are they? I should click on the ad and find out.” By letting satisfied customers speak for you, you can deliver an ad message that’s personalized and relatable. Additionally, having that boost of a real-world interpretation of your product or service makes you more reputable. 5. Evoke a sense of urgency in your copy. Using a tone that’s urgent makes consumers feel like they need a product in their life. Take this ad, for example: Source This copy carries a sense of urgency to download the whitepaper. The caption introduces the ad and says what the ad doesn’t, saving space for more copy, and making sure all the important things are included. Notice how the ad copy mirrors a CTA. To create urgency in your advertisement, you might consider using call-to-action language, such as “Learn,” or “Discover,” which engages browsers in a way that’s professional and knowledgeable. 6. Use data points. Numbers are informative. Statistics and data visualizations get the mind moving and bring numbers to life. And the best part is, numbers aren’t just for ads about sales or data points.

these are a few of my favorite things 👀 — 22 Words (@22Words) September 19, 2019

For instance, this promoted tweet has nothing to do with statistics or data collection. It’s a blog post for an Amazon round-up of bags, plants, and more knick-knacks. As a consumer trying to waste time on social media, a blog post about 30 A-plus purchases from Amazon sounds like music to my ears. The relatable language of “100x Again” is a clever way of including numbers that are convincing without confusing or boring the audience. Ultimately, numbers make an ad seem impressive, show research, and also connect with a younger crowd, making an ad more clickable. When planning out ads, consider whether or not you would be engaged if you saw it, and use tools that help achieve that vision.

Source link

source https://www.kadobeclothing.store/6-advertising-tips-to-draw-customers-in/

0 notes

faizrashis1995 · 5 years

Text

10 Reasons to Learn Java Programming Language and Why Java is Best

1) Java is Easy to learn

Many would be surprised to see this one of the top reason for learning Java or considering it as the best programming language, but it is. If you have a steep learning curve, it would be difficult to get productive in a short span of time, which is the case with most of the professional project.

Java has fluent English like syntax with minimum magic characters e.g. Generics angle brackets, which makes it easy to read Java program and learn quickly.

Once a programmer is familiar with initial hurdles with installing JDK and setting up PATH and understand How Classpath works, it's pretty easy to write a program in Java.

2) Java is an Object Oriented Programming Language

Another reason, which made Java popular is that it's an Object Oriented Programming language. Developing OOP application is much easier, and it also helps to keep system modular, flexible and extensible.

Once you have knowledge of key OOP concepts like Abstraction, Encapsulation, Polymorphism, and Inheritance, you can use all those with Java. Java itself embodies many best practices and design pattern in its library.

Java is one of the few close to 100% OOP programming language. Java also promotes the use of SOLID and Object-oriented design principles in the form of open source projects like Spring, which make sure your object dependency is managed well by using Dependency Injection principle.

3) Java has Rich API

One more reason for Java programming language's huge success is it's Rich API and most importantly it's highly visible because come with Java installation.

When I first started Java programming, I used to code Applets and those days Applets provides great animation capability, which amazes new programmer like us, who are used to code in Turbo C++ editor.

Java provides API for I/O, networking, utilities, XML parsing, database connection, and almost everything. Whatever left is covered by open source libraries like Apache Commons, Google Guava, Jackson, Gson, Apache POI, and others.

You can further see my post 20 essential open source libraries for Java programmers to learn more about useful libraries Java developers should know.

4) Powerful development tools e.g. Eclipse, Netbeans

Believe it or not, Eclipse and Netbeans have played a huge role to make Java one of the best programming languages. Coding in IDE is a pleasure, especially if you have coded in DOS Editor or Notepad.

They not only help in code completion but also provides a powerful debugging capability, which is essential for real-world development. Integrated Development Environment (IDE) made Java development much easier, faster and fluent. It's easy to search, refactor and read code using IDEs.

Apart from IDE, Java platform also has several other tools like Maven and ANT for building Java applications, Jenkins for Continuous Integration and delivery, decompilers, JConsole, Visual VM for monitoring Heap usage, etc.

You can also see my post 10 Essential Tools for Java Programmers to learn more about tools Java programmers use in the day-to-day life.

5) Great collection of Open Source libraries

Open source libraries ensure that Java should be used everywhere. Apache, Google, and other organization have contributed a lot of great libraries, which makes Java development easy, faster and cost-effective.

There are frameworks like Spring, Struts, Maven, which ensures that Java development follows best practices of software craftsmanship, promotes the use of design patterns and assisted Java developers to get there job done.

I always recommend searching for functionality in Google, before writing your own code. There is a good chance that it's already coded, tested and available for ready to use.

You can also see Top 20 Libraries and API for Java Programmers for my recommended libraries for Java developers.

6) Wonderful Community Support

A strong and thriving community is the biggest strength of Java programming language and platform. No matter, How good a language is, it wouldn't survive, if there is no community to support, help and share their knowledge.

Java has been very lucky, it has lots of active forums, StackOverflow, open source organizations and several Java user groups to help everything.

There is the community to help beginners, advanced and even expert Java programmers. Java actually promotes taking and giving back to community habit. Lots of programmers, who use open source, contribute as a commiter, tester, etc.

Many Expert programmers provide advice FREE at various Java forums and StackOverflow. This is simply amazing and gives a lot of confidence to a newbie in Java.

7) Java is FREE

People like FREE things, Don't you? So if a programmer wants to learn a programming language or an organization wants to use technology, COST is an important factor. Since Java is free from the start, i.e. you don't need to pay anything to create Java application.

This FREE thing also helped Java to become popular among individual programmers, and among large organizations. If you are curious where exactly Java is used in the real world, see that post. I have talked about Java's adoption by all around the world.

Availability of Java programmers is another big thing, which makes an organization to choose Java for there strategic development.

8) Excellent documentation support - Javadocs

When I first saw Javadoc, I was amazed. It's a great piece of documentation, which tells a lot of things about Java API. I think without Javadoc documentation, Java wouldn't be as popular, and it's one of the main reason, Why I think Java is the best programming language.

Not everyone has time and intention to look at the code to learn what a method does or how to use a class. Javadoc made learning easy, and provide an excellent reference while coding in Java.

With the advent of IDEs like Eclipse and IntelliJIDEA, you don't even need to look Javadoc explicitly in the browser, but you can get all the information in your IDE window itself.

9) Java is Platform Independent

In the 1990s, this was the main reason for Java's popularity. The idea of platform independence is great, and Java's tagline "write once run anywhere" and acronym "WORA" was enticing enough to attract lots of new development in Java.

This is still one of the reason for Java being the best programming language, most of Java applications are developed in Windows environment and run on Linux platform.

10) Java is Everywhere

Yes, Java is everywhere, it's on the desktop, it's on mobile, it's on the card, almost everywhere and so is Java programmers. I think Java programmer outnumber any other programming language professional.

Though I don't have any data to back this up, it's based on experience. This huge availability of Java programmers is another reason, why organizations prefer to choose Java for new development than any other programming language.

Having said that, programming is a very big field and if you look at C and UNIX, which is still surviving and even stronger enough to live another 20 years, Java also falls in the same league.

Though there are a lot of talks about functional programming, Scala, and other JVM languages like Kotlin and Groovy, they need to go a long way to match the community, resources, and popularity of Java.

Also, OOP is one of the best programming paradigms, and as long as it will be there Java will remain solid.

Now, if you decide to learn Java programming, here are the couple of resources, which you can take a look. I personally suggest joining an online course to start with and then picking a book, because they are almost always well written by authorities in the subject matter and catered for beginners.

To start with, I recommend joining The Complete Java Master Class at Udemy. You can buy this course on just under $10 on Udemy's flash sale which they run I think every month.

This course is very comprehensive and up-to-date and covers both Java SE 8 and Java SE 9. The course is also structured in a systematic way to provide beginners with all the knowledge and tools before they can understand complex concepts like multi-threading and concurrency.

It covers all essential Java 8 features described above in bootcamp style like a lot of focus on hands-on work.

If you can afford, then this is the best course to learn Java online. To be honest, it's dirt cheap, even one day Java class cost around $100 in developing countries, forget about development country. You can't get a comprehensive Java course cheaper than this.

When it comes to books, I personally recommend Head First Java to all beginners, as I have learned a lot from it myself. It's a great book to start if you don't know anything about Java, but unfortunately, it's not up-to-date.

Once you have gone through this book, you can pick any good Java books to learn key Java 8 features like lambda expression, method reference, Stream API, new Date, and Time API, default methods, etc.

The content is still valid and Java Fundamentals has not changed but I strongly suggest every programmer start with the latest Java version like. Java 8 or Java 9 and on that parameter Modern Java in Action is currently the best book to learn Java.

This book covers each topic in good depth. I even encourage to read all three books by this author on Java 8 to learn Java 8 in depth.

You can also take a look at official Java tutorials offered by Oracle. These tutorials are both comprehensive, up-to-date, and covered almost all important details of Java programming language. Further, you can use Google along with your learning.

If you need to understand a particular concept, term or any issue with Java, Google can point you to a specific resource. There are lots of blogs, tutorial sites, and free video tutorials on the internet to learn Java programming.[Source]-https://javarevisited.blogspot.com/2018/07/10-reasons-to-learn-java-programming.html

We provide best Java Classes in Thane, navi mumbai. We have industry experienced trainers and provide hands on practice. Basic to advanced modules are covered in training sessions.

0 notes