#(also kind of funny that she starts being nicer/more gentle with him the more she likes him meanwhile the more he feels for her | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mewberii · 3 years

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Streamer!Scaramouche [2]

thanks for all the support in the first part! i wrote a second part where scaramouche plays genshin + the reader comes in (i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible, so let me know if there’s something off!). you’re a close friend of scaramouche and also a voice actor!

i had been planning this since i wrote the first part, but because i was busy and uninspired i couldn’t finish it. but here it is and it’s actually pretty long (over 5k words...)! i hope you guys will like this!! obviously he’s a little nicer than he is in game but,,, for the sake of the plot + it being a modern au, it had to be done sjnfdskjf

He was selected to play the beta for genshin because of his popularity and tbh he really wanted to play it

The game hadn’t really caught his eye all that much when he first heard about it but he saw how everyone online went crazy over it (plus other streamers who also were selected to play it in early access kept talking about it) and he became more curious to know what it would be like and if it’d live to everyone’s expectations

However he couldn’t really play it until it was officially released because he had a very busy schedule, and when he saw other streams of people playing it he was,,, lowkey jealous because it did look fun

When it was finally released and the game finished downloading and installing, he went live right away

And since so many people were looking forward to seeing him play plus the game was getting so popular so fast, that stream of when he first played hit his biggest milestone of live viewers ever

ANYWAYS skip forward to further into the game

when it comes to the gacha,,,

we’ve established that this boy is loaded. he won’t hesitate to throw some big amounts of money at the game to get every single character and weapon he wants and get their constellations to the max

i feel like he’d make little bets (and it works as a way to thank the chat for the support) like “if i get (insert newest character) in the first 50 pulls, i will gift 50 subs”

he’d be SOOOOOOO LUCKY it’d make everyone who doesn’t play think that it must be very easy to get the 5 stars or that the drop rate must be very high,,,

so in the end he’d have to gift the subs and it’d be funny to see the chat go absolutely crazy because everyone is commenting at the same time trying to see if they got lucky too and got the sub

but the chat goes so fast that they can’t even see their own comment after they send it sNDJGDJSK

he’d end up turning subs mode on for a while because it goes crazy

and that’s when he’d see people going “I GOT THE SUB-” all excited and he can’t help but chuckle and congratulate them for being one of the lucky ones

probably another game he can use to play with some subs once in a while! they could play co-op and when he’s a very high level he’d go to the worlds of some of his subs with lower level to help them with whatever they need

SO, LITTLE SKIP HERE

this is where i want the reader to slide into the picture

you’d be a voice actor, and also you have been a friend of his for a very long time

he met you even before he started streaming and you were always so supportive of him, as he was of every and each of your dreams

in fact, he would have invited you over more than once to stream with him

people don’t say anything bc they’re afraid of scaramouche banning them (it’s happened before) + they understand it can be disrespectful... but…

some people lowkey ship you two a little bit,,,,,, you didn’t hear it from me. scaramouche don’t ban me----

so one day he’s making another livestream playing genshin (sponsored by mihoyo to promote the newest update and event) and they’re going to release a new character

AND he has told everyone that you are the voice actor of the new character, who will be introduced in the event and is also getting their own banner

so everyone is very curious of what they’ll be like, if scaramouche will try to get them (obviously he will, he has every single character…. the amount of money he has put into the game…. just thinking of it gives me the heebie-jeebies)

could he even,,, main them,,,,

spoiler: he won’t because he’ll stay honest till the end (and no hard feelings) but there are other characters that he has built up to the max just like them and still work better with the way he plays but he’ll still find a chance to use them often

he didn’t know anything of what the character you voiced would be like because you wanted to keep it a surprise and he knew his audience would enjoy seeing his first reactions

I think the character you voice in the game would have the role that Scaramouche has in the actual game, and their design would be fairly similar (maybe similar color palette) to the design fans made for him as a genshin character (the one i mentioned that he uses for popup notifs of subscriptions and all!)

needless to say he’d absolutely love their personality and the charisma you showed in their lines

of course when he finally gets them he shows everything about them including all their voice lines and he compliments y/n’s voice acting… that was the first time people suspected that....

mayhaps… scaramouche….

has feelings for you....

it’s in the soft gaze in his eyes,,, the gentle smile on his lips,,, his soft voice when saying “I think this one is my favorite line of theirs”

and just how BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL his laugh sounds when someone comments he should invite you and ask you to do that voiceline live for him and everyone else

he’d jokingly reach for his phone and be like “should i call them? i could”

(but he wouldn’t because he doesn’t want to disturb you, you may be busy, considering you still hadn’t replied to the messages he sent to you before he started the stream a few hours ago)

if anyone dares be mean to you saying you got the chance to voice act for genshin just bc of scaramouche

or implies that he did something to get you there he’ll get quite mad even tho he won’t speak up about it (he might if enough people say it)

people can see something shift in his gaze,,,, and he bans them permanently right away

it’d be kinda funny when he does those “reading unban requests” streams and he goes past immediately rejecting people who said those kind of stuff, not even reading the apologies JSNKJFNDSJKGNSDK

some people say he’s too strict about it but literally his stream his rules. people who don’t like him should just not watch him

and people who like him should NOT speak badly about you or doubt your talent and effort, which is what brought you that opportunity in the first place

one day he’d be streaming playing the game, he had been using your character and gathering materials to get their last ascension

and at one point he’d grab his phone and look at the screen for a second before putting it back down and saying he had planned something else for tonight besides playing genshin for a while

then, the doorbell would ring (before he could even close the game-) and it’d be heard from his setup room so people in the chat heard it and they’re all like???

it’s definitely not takeout because scaramouche never orders takeout when he’s on his own, he usually cooks for himself and just orders it when he’s with friends and they all feel like eating something different

actually, offtopic, but i have a feeling he’d be very responsible when it comes to food and like he’d cook himself proper meals all perfectly balanced and all- he could afford having someone cook for him but his house = his privacy and personal space so he’d rather do it himself

it’s like, past 10pm, so no way it would be a package or mail at that time

and then he says “we have a visitor tonight”

and then the chat goes crazy saying “CHILDE” “HARBINGERS” but mostly “Y/N!??!?/PLEASE LET IT BE Y/N”

AND IT WAS YOU!!!!

and omg you brought takeout--------

it had been a while since they had seen you in scaramouche’s stream and you didn’t have your own channel (even though there were many people who encouraged you to open one)

SO everyone was very excited

i feel like scaramouche wouldn’t be the biggest fan of eating on camera so you guys would put the food away so that you can eat it later on your own without an audience

and you two would just spend a while talking to the chat, watching videos

AND reviewing fanart and fanmade content together!! it’d be so cute especially fanarts of the two of you together, little animatics or comics of funny clips or memes from his streams of you two,,,

someone made a little felt plushie of the genshin character you voiced and the way you COOED because it was SO cute

only those who were truly paying attention were able to notice the soft smile on scaramouche’s lips and the way he looked at you as you gushed over how cute the little plushie is and how talented the person who made it is!!

also you’d tell him you saw signora make a stream where she talked to some of her fans on discord individually to give them advice on their life/problems (nothing too serious) and it was very funny and you wanted to do that with him someday

and he’s like “that… could be a huge mess. people could say some crazy stuff” and you’re like “NO but i talked to her about it and she said she got her mods to talk to them first and approve them before they moved them up to the channel where she was to talk to her”

and he’s like “still…….. what if people lie and then when they get to talk to us they say something-”

and you’re like “BOY!!!! DO YOU NOT TRUST YOUR FANS *GASP*” and everyone in the chat is also going “GASP” “HE DOESN’T TRUST US…” “IS THIS YOUR IDOL…..?” “SAY SORRY” (all good fun, obviously he’d love to talk to everyone if he could make sure there won’t be anything disrespectful said)

SO!!!!! you two say you’ll plan to do something like that soon and everyone is very excited, they can already tell it’ll be both super cute and hilarious

before he ends the stream, you two watch some videos together

some are about some upcoming videogames and he talks about them and what he knows and explaining things to you... he is.. so knowledgeable…

the way you look at him as he goes into a little rant about it… cinematic parallels with the way he looked at you before

ONCE AGAIN, people aren’t blind. they notice. but they keep it to themselves bc scary scara (the way i had to resist overusing this one joke with his name-)

so the stream ends and you two walk out of the setup room to go to his living room and eat the takeout you brought while watching something on tv

he apologises because the food is cold now, but you brush it off saying it’s ok, you had missed being on his streams and you two can just heat up the food again

he doesn’t look at you in the eyes as he mutters that you know you can join his streams whenever, and instead just says it as he makes his way to the kitchen to heat the food

you join him in the kitchen soon after and tell him you also bought something for dessert and put it in the fridge already before

and honestly he didn’t know how much he wanted to eat that dessert until it was in his fridge, so he can’t stop himself from sighing and saying “god, i love you”

there’s silence for a second, right as the microwave beeps as it finished heating the food

it feels eternal to him, but you immediately started laughing and said jokingly “of course you do! you’re welcome!”

he’s happy you took it as a joke because that’s not how he planned to confess (he didn’t plan to confess anytime soon in the first place) but at the same time ?? he’s lowkey offended inside because? you took it as a joke?? is it so unrealistic that you wouldn’t even think that he meant it romantically?

it’s at that moment that he realises that if he didn’t want to confess before, now he does.

he wouldn’t want anyone to know about how he let that slip because he’s sure no one in you two’s friend group even knows he likes you

but you,,, actually,,,,, were actually caught off guard too because scaramouche wasn’t precisely one for words of affection and he showed his care for everyone with his actions

in fact, you had never heard him say those words before but well- it was kinda nice- if only he meant it as you feel it- but he couldn’t, right? who’d confess their feelings so casually while looking at a dessert in the fridge with desire-------

that night, it gets pretty late and to be honest he’s a little too tired to drive you home as he usually would, so he asks if you’d like to sleep over

it wouldn’t be your first time doing so, not even the first time you stayed unplanned, and he had a couple guest rooms that you could use so you accepted

also, staying for longer meant you could keep watching some more of that series with him without worrying about it getting late

or,,,

“actually” you said in a low voice, almost a whisper, since it was getting late and you two had been in complete silence while watching the series “i lowkey still wanted to stream some more”

he scoffs but then lets out a short chuckle, replying in the same volume

“it’s past 2am, who’s going to watch me stream now?”

“i would” have mercy for his poor heart- “but i’d be the streamer too this time so it doesn’t count”

“what even would we do”

“can we play that co-op game you played with childe? it was so much fun”

had you not brought it up, he wouldn’t have offered that ever because? if he had recently played it with childe he didn’t want to stream it again and make it feel repetitive for his audience

(jokes on him because when genshin came out they put up with it being the only thing he streamed for over a week. they’d rewatch any game if it’s you two playing it)

but to be honest, he didn’t really want to stream anymore that day and just wanted to be with you, just you and no one else

he got up from the couch and walked towards the hallway, making you look up to him in confusion for a second, but then started getting excited knowing this meant he was going to let you play it with him

“i don’t really feel like streaming anymore today, but we can still play it. let’s go”

the next day, you two wake up around the same time and make breakfast together

scaramouche i feel is not very talkative in the mornings

in fact, i feel like he’s just not the most talkative in general. he’s more the type to listen, but it’s different during his streams because he’s doing what he loves and talking about what he loves

and when it comes to you and he talks more it’s because he’s talking to who he loves----

before you’re going to leave and you’re standing at the door about to say goodbye to him, he suddenly speaks up before you can

“do you want to go somewhere tomorrow?”

you raise your eyebrows in curiosity from the sudden request, but then smile at him and nod

“yeah sure! what do you have in min-”

“it’s a date” he said, interrupting you, which was weird enough of him (since he would never interrupt you), but his words were even weirder-

“h-huh?” you felt the heat rising to your cheeks, and scaramouche just repeated his words

on the outside, he looked so casual and just, confident- bUT INSIDE he was actually panicking a little bit

but just a little bit.

After a moment, you smiled at him again, this time somewhat more shily but also excited for your date!

“I look forward to it”

Just with that, you two knew you had made the first step

You weren’t just friends anymore

You two had hung out on your own many times before, in fact and as it was mentioned before, you two had even slept over at his house or yours many times before

but it had all always been purely platonic, and you guys had never even questioned that aspect of it even after realising you had romantic feelings for each other

he’d spend the rest of the day thinking of what you could do the next day, as if he hadn’t been brainstorming for ideas all night either

i feel like he hasn’t gone in many (if not any--) dates before

solely because he has never been interested in romance plus he had never liked someone or at least, not as much as he liked you

and even when he found out he felt something for you, he just always told himself he was okay with how things were, because he’d never experienced anything beyond friendship and didn’t feel the need to try and maybe ruin the friendship

SO he didn’t have many ideas of what a good date could be

he definitely didn’t want a cliché corny date, but he really didn’t have any idea of what was good enough for a date

(and if for future dates you want something he’d consider a “”cliché corny date”” he’d do it for you and actually enjoy it)

the last thing he wanted was to have to ask you what you could do for your date

1- because he didn’t want to show you any side of him that didn’t look like he always has everything under control and he’s always composed (as if you wouldn’t want to see every side of him, even his most vulnerable sides- you’d have to work on that with him when you two become official)

2- he… kind of wanted to surprise you…..

but it really got to the point where he really didn’t know what you’d like the most (or what he’d like the most too) and what he wanted most over anything else is to not disappoint you in you two’s first date

SO he finally texted you asking if there was anything special you wanted to do (and therefore indirectly admitting he……….. just really wanted to ask you out. so much he did it without thinking of what he’d do if you said yes--)

you didn’t seem to mind, and in fact you were happy he asked for your opinion

overall, scaramouche was very independent so he wasn’t one to ask others for advice, opinions or anything, much less for help regarding anything

“how long has it been since we last went to the arcade? we could go there! i heard from childe that they added new games!”

and he’s like !?!?!?? THAT…. is…….. the perfect idea

“that actually sounds perfect” he admitted, and the message brought a big smile to your face

“just don’t get mad at me when you lose at all of them” he sent right after, teasing you, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh out loud

“the last time i won in your favorite game” you reminded him, and even after he read your message, he took a little bit to reply

(he needed a second to put the pieces of his pride together SJNFKJDS)

“don’t get used to it, it won’t happen again”

“we will see about that” the more you two joked like this, the more excited you got thinking about tomorrow

scaramouche was sure now that it’d be a great first date that you’d both remember forever

the next day, it was almost the time for the date and scaramouche was going to pick you up at your house

i feel like scaramouche would be very fashionable and even in his style he doesn’t try to hide that he’s loaded…

not that he cares about buying cheap clothes, literally he’d say if he likes it and it’s good (aka it’s not cheap because it’s made of something that won’t make it last longer than 3 weeks) he’ll get it

but it just so happens that many times… the clothes he likes most are from famous brands…

AND THIS DAY!!!!!! he’s putting together one of his favorite outfits because it’s a special day

it almost hurts me just how nonchalant he’d look on the outside, making it a little hard to know exactly just how much this date meant to him (because as i said he’s not one to be very vocal about his feelings or even his thoughts)

BUT i trust that you… since you know him well…. can see past all that and you know that this is not just anything casual to him. this is special.

STILL!!!! he’d try his best to not let the blush rise to his cheeks and show, as well as to not let his voice shake when he complimented that you looked very good

ANYWAYS i think i think Scaramouche wouldn’t be one for big pda

the most he’d do where anyone can see is hold your hand or put his arm around your waist

WHICH IS WHY he’d try to be all smooth (and he would manage) reaching for your hand and lacing his fingers with yours

he wouldn’t make eye contact because then he’s sure it’ll show on his face that he’s getting somewhat flustered, but he’d still ask if you’re okay with it, to which you said yes

the area where the arcade was is always somewhat crowded so when you two were getting there, scaramouche would tighten the grip on your hand a little bit to make sure you wouldn’t let go and you’d be pulled apart by people trying to walk past however they can

you know that if you two got serious about your relationship, he would want to be the first person to share the news with his fans

BUT since he was so popular now, you two lived in a pretty big city and now were at a popular area (+ scaramouche wouldn’t be the type to try and hide his identity because he’s never had people make a fuss when they recognise him)

you were a little worried someone would see you two and maybe take a picture and post it online and it’d go viral before he can admit it himself

because of that, you end up throwing back to him the question he had asked when he held your hand

“are you sure this is okay?”

your question confused him because he didn’t know what you mean, so he finally looked you in the eyes and waited for you to explain further

“it’s just- what if somebody sees us and recognises you?”

he looked away from you and back at where he was going, taking a few seconds to answer before he just shrugged

“i don’t care”

you softly let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you waited for him to say something, and almost missed the way he whispered

“as long as it doesn’t affect you”

for someone who seemed and actually tried to seem to self-sufficient, who appreciated his friends but was also okay on his own because he was absolutely comfortable with himself, he was actually…

more selfless than people would ever know, especially when it came to you

you two would have SO much fun in the arcade, trying every single game many times

this time though, scaramouche won in his favorite game so he lived up to his words

you two won so many tickets you literally didn’t even know what to do with them once you got the couple prizes you were interested in

you bumped into a couple fans of his, so you talked for a while

once again, you were met with suggestions of opening your own streaming channel, and even scaramouche said “i’ve told them that many times too, but they always say they think their streams won’t be fun enough”

and the fans are like “NO!! literally everyone thinks you’re super nice and fun!! of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we’d love it!!”

one of the fans (exaggerating a little as a joke) said “i’ll be your number 1 fan i swear” and the three of you laughed, except scaramouche who just scoffed and smirked

“i am ALREADY their number one fan. but good try” <- scaramouche in his head. say it outloud u coward.

but at the same time it was a joke scaramouche chill pretty much everyone knows you’re their number one fan……. even though you think you’re so smooth………. they just don’t say anything

they were very nice and fun to talk to and you knew scaramouche and you didn’t really want anything else from the prizes, so you offered you two’s tickets to them

“we don’t really need these anymore so maybe you’ll have more use for them!!”

they got SO excited, the way their eyes lit up :( scaramouche is convinced you’re an angel but he’s also very happy to see how joyful his fans got because those were more than enough for the prize they really wanted-

so after that cute little interaction and having used up your energy for competition, you two leave and think of buying some ice cream or a milkshake or something to end the date nicely and to enjoy while you walk back home

the arcade was not exactly very close to where you two lived (it was far from your house, but even farther from his-) so he asked if you were okay with walking back or if you two should get an uber or something, to which you said you were okay

walking back with him meant!! a little more time you could spend with him

and he was happy you said that because he was feeling the same way and still didn’t want the day to end

we’ll see more about the kind of things he likes and dislikes if he’s released as a playing character BUT FOR NOW i really get this vibe that he’d LOVE boba tea

i even think he’d?? enjoy tea in general??? classy boy…

SO you two would end up going to get some boba

it was very touching how, when reading the flavors they had that day, he suddenly and casually went “oh, they have your favorite” and you looked at the one he was pointing at and !!! indeed it was your favorite!!!!!!!

he remembers this kind of details very well

you take the chance to talk some more as you’re walking home

scaramouche asks about your job with voice acting and you tell him that you actually have been recording some new lines for your genshin character lately because in the next update there’ll be an event involving them

he’s looking forward to it but he teases you a little asking if it’s okay for you to spoil him with such information

but it’s okay because it’s not like he’d tell anyone, especially knowing it could get you in trouble

when he drops you off at your house, he has a hard time saying goodbye

literally you’re standing at your door and he’s in front of you, a couple steps away, looking away from you

you don’t say goodbye either, mainly because you know scaramouche is working the courage to say something, and you can also sort of guess what he wants to say

you think of saying it first, but then think that it would make scaramouche proud to be honest about his feelings and confess first

“i’ve liked you for a long time”

you can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face, unconsciously reaching a hand up to slightly cover it

“i feel the same way” you replied to him in a soft voice

he took a deep breath and exhaled it softly, finally lifting up his gaze and making eye contact with you

it was already dark outside, so you couldn’t appreciate the faint rosy blush on his cheeks well

“can i kiss you?”

your eyes widened for a second, not expecting him to ask and if anything, thinking he’d just step forward and do it

so you were a little embarrassed and caught off-guard to reply properly, so you just nodded and put your hand down as he took the last couple steps and his face was right in front of yours

he’d cup your cheek in one of his hands, feeling the warmth of your skin

you closed your eyes, and he looked at you for a second longer before he finally leaned in and closed the short distance that separated your lips

at that moment you both knew that you had been missing on so much more when you two just settled and were content with your friendship

but!! that was about to change now, so it was all worth it

after that, scaramouche would make clear that this would be the first day of your relationship!! and even if he didn’t say it with words, you could just feel his happiness!!

so!! after that, because of work you two got a little busy the next couple months so dates weren’t very frequent

or at least, they weren’t dates like the one you first had

but still whenever you two were free he’d go over to your house, or you’d come over to his to play, stream together, or literally just spend time together doing anything

he wouldn’t let people know you two had started dating straight away (if anything, only his other streamer friends -aka you two’s friends in common- knew)

but the day he said it, he wanted you to be there

SO one day you two were streaming and you were currently reacting to one fanart of you two together

so he looked at you and you made eye contact and it was like you two spoke with your eyes like

“do we tell them now”

“let’s tell them.”

so scaramouche would clear his throat and without closing the fanart, he’d say he has something he wanted to announce

everyone was excited thinking it’d be some new project, maybe involving you

maybe some merch??? and the fanarts had reminded him of it???????

BUT THEN he straightforwardly said

“y/n and i are dating”

and everyone goes aBSOLUTELY CRAZY

amidst the chaos, you two catch a comment saying “will you unban the people who shipped you two” and you laugh

and you look at each other like “did you read that one?” “yeah”

and scaramouche is like “yeah, i guess i will have to unban some people”

and when some get unbanned they’re like “fREEDOM!!!!”

and jokingly they’re all like “APOLOGISE!!!!!!!! SAY SORRY!!!” so he just laughs and you join them being like “!!! apologise!!! you banned them for it and!! look at you now!!”

so he ends up trying to hold in another laugh as he mutters a halfassed ‘sorry’ and everyone starts commenting claps and hearts and celebrating that he apologised. now justice has been made.

the rest of that stream suddenly feels livelier and brighter!! you two are laughing a lot and so is everyone in the chat!!

and also the new genshin event would’ve already just been released that same day so you can talk about some of your experiences with recording or what you thought of it

and scaramouche would let you play it yourself!! (he still hadn’t played it) and it was also the first time you played genshin live!! you’d show people the characters you have and everything and tell them some anecdotes

people would be SHOCKED because you!? don’t have the character you voiced!? D:

and you’re like “yeah… i pulled for them and used up all my primogems and… didn’t get them”

and your banner is back because of the event, so scaramouche won’t let this slide!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL GET YOUR CHARACTER.

your luck is terrible compared to his so at one point you’ll literally feel bad for how much he’s spending for you to get it

but he doesn’t mind at all and everyone is having fun so!!

and once you finally get them you’re sO HAPPY and everyone in the chat is celebrating

and you think it’s over but scaramouche is like ???? what are you doing?? open the wish page again. you’re going to get them c6.

and you’re like oh my gOD PLEASE NO DON’T SPEND MORE MONEY ON ME FOR THIS

but he won’t listen and he’ll do it

so!!! he’ll always do his best to be the best boyfriend he can be for you!! so you better give him your heart!!!!

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshim impact headcanons #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche scenarios #scaramouche headcanons

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aomine-ryo · 3 years

Text

Kind of late, but I had an idea for a fic that’s been in my drafts for a while and I wanted to post it for Kise’s birthday but it wasn’t quite done yet. But it is now, so here it is, hope you like it!

Scenario: New kid, Kise Ryouta ends up falling for the reader

gender neutral reader

It’s not particularly easy being the new kid at school. Especially if you were Kise Ryouta. Being a well known athlete and model, it was difficult for him to be able to find friends in a new place that didn’t have ulterior motives. However, Kise learned to deal with it. He was cold to people until he himself learned to respect them and understand their motives.

But the problem with him was not in the friendship category, but rather the romance one.

Kise had a tendency to fall for the first person that was nice to him in a new place, and that almost always ended in the other person using him. So this time, he promised himself that he was not going to hurt himself yet again.

On his first day, Kise stood at the front of the class and introduced himself. “Um, hi, nice to meet you, I’m Kise Ryouta. I look forward to getting to know you all and well, I don’t really know what else to say,” he said, turning to the teacher for some help. The class filled with a small chatter once he stopped talking, and he could already faintly hear comments about how ‘cute’ he looks.

“It’s alright Kise. You can take that empty seat next to Y/N over there,” the teacher said, pointing.

Your head snapped back to the front of the class from gazing out the window at the sound of your name. Of course the new kid got stuck in the seat next to you. He was cute, you couldn’t disagree. However, that only meant that everyone else was going to be swarming around your desk for a while.

The teacher went on with the regular announcements until the bell for first period rang. “Oh right, before I forget, Y/N, can I trust you to show Kise around the school during your break?” she added.

You held back a sigh as you nodded. “Sure,” you replied curtly, glancing over at Kise and giving him an awkward smile.

As expected, once the teacher left, he was soon surrounded by girls asking him questions that were borderline invasive. How do they do it? How do they simply have the courage to speak to people like that? In a way, you envied them for their confidence, but it was also quite pathetic.

Eventually, the break came around and Kise approached your desk with a polite smile. Why did he get stuck with you out of all people? You were the first one that caught his eye and Kise could already see himself catching feelings for you. But he made a promise to himself and he was going to keep it. He wasn’t going to get played with again.

“Hey, um, Y/N, right?” who was he kidding? He knew your name. It was stuck in his head ever since the teacher instructed him to sit next to you.

“Yeah, just give me a second, I just have to organise this mess and we’ll be on our way,” you said, fumbling with the stationery that was cluttering your desk.

“Oh, you don’t really have to give me that tour if you don’t want to. I don’t want to be a burden— I can probably figure things out myself,” Kise said.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind helping out. If you end up getting lost at some point I’ll feel bad,” you insisted, finally putting the last of your things away and standing up. “Okay, we’re all good. Shall we?”

Kise hesitated for a moment. He really didn’t want to do this, but he didn’t have any more excuses so he simply walked by your side.

You showed him all the classes that he would regularly be attending, adding a few tips that you learned through the years whenever you could. This was the most you’d ever spoken to someone who wasn’t a close friend and yet Kise remained rather silent. Did he think you were boring? Were you talking too much? God, why did you have to be assigned this task?

“Oh right, I almost forgot. Are you joining any clubs?” you asked him as you walked through the halls.

“Yeah, I’ll be joining the basketball club,” Kise nodded.

“Right, I figured,” you mumbled, making Kise let out a small chuckle.

“Hey, you might have made the right judgement this time, but don’t judge a book by its cover,” Kise joked.

“It was more of an intuition thing rather than judging you, I swear,” you replied defensively, holding back a giggle.

“Mhmm I’m sure it was,” he said sarcastically. He hated how bright your smile was. It was so warm and gentle, he could look at it all day. He barely even knew you, but he was already obsessed with your smile. Just his luck.

“Well, unfortunately for you, I’m the manager for the basketball team so you’ll be seeing a lot more of me.”

This had to be some sort of cruel joke. “Really? That’s great. So I could probably just tail behind you and not get lost by the looks of it.”

“Maybe,” you shrugged. You hoped he was joking. The last thing you needed was a bunch of fangirls trailing you around campus. “Let me show you the way to the basketball gym though, just in case I manage to escape you.”

“Escape me? Tired of me already huh?” Kise teased, dramatically pretending to be offended.

“Absolutely,” you joked.

Kise clasped a hand over his heart as though he got shot in the chest. “I am hurt, Y/N. What did I ever do to deserve this?” he recited.

“You know, the drama club is probably also looking for new members— I should show you their club room instead,” you retorted.

“Ha ha very funny,” Kise rolled his eyes. How were you two already joking around like this? He tried not to speak to you much, but it was like his charisma was forced out of him. Maybe he was overthinking it. You seemed nice. Maybe the two of you could be good friends.

And well, that’s pretty much exactly what happened. With the sheer amount of times you two see each other, it was no surprise that you’d become friends. It started with witty banter and random comments but soon, the two of you became close. After about three months, you were hanging out with each other every other day, going out for a bite after practice, going to the movies, walking to school together— the list goes on. And somehow, you never got tired of each other.

“Hey, Y/N-cchi, are you going for the field trip?” Kise asked you in between classes, referring to the yearly trip your school organises to a selected place in the country with a rich history.

“I’ll go if you do. But to be honest, I’d rather stay at home,” you replied.

“Well, we’re going then. It’ll be fun. There’s probably cute places to take pictures for Instagram,” Kise said.

“So I’m basically going to be your photographer?” you sighed.

“Precisely.”

“Sounds like a blast,” you groaned.

“I’m kidding, I will find a way to make this worthwhile. I heard that there’s a nice restaurant near the hotel we’re staying at, so we should pay that a visit,” Kise said.

“I’m exhausted just thinking about it,” you replied, resting your head on your palm.

“Shhh it’ll be fun, trust me,” Kise said, eyes softening up when he noticed how the sunlight that shone through the window landed on you like some sort of natural spotlight. His mind was about to wander off into a daydream when the teacher walked into the classroom, snapping his attention away from you.

The field trip finally rolled around and you found yourself in a fresh hotel room with a gorgeous view of the beach. Unfortunately, you didn’t get assigned to room with Kise, but it was alright since he was just a few doors down. As promised, Kise did his best to make sure you were having fun. You did have to take an awful lot of pictures of him, and sometimes he’d force you to take pictures with him, but Kise was always good company so you didn’t mind too much.

On the last night, Kise took you to that restaurant for dinner. “It’s kind of a fancy restaurant so we should dress up,” Kise informed you that afternoon.

“But that’s so tiring. Let’s just go to McDonalds instead,” you suggested.

“We are not going to McDonalds. I will dress you up myself if I have to,” Kise said firmly.

So in the end, you did end up dressing up, but you didn’t pack any nice shoes so you had to go with your sneakers. Of course, Kise patronised you for it, but you just replied with the wittiest comment you could think of, like always.

“Hi, I made a reservation here, for Kise Ryouta,” Kise said to the hostess.

The place was nicer than you expected it to be. It was a strange feeling being here with a reservation. It felt less like a hang out with your friend and more like a date. And for some reason, you were now nervous.

“Ah yes, right this way Mr Kise,” she said with a polite smile as she led you two to your table. “A window seat, just as you requested.”

“Perfect, thank you,” Kise said, glancing at the view of the night sky and the twinkling city lights below.

“Here are your menus, a waiter will be with you shortly. Enjoy your date,” she smiled.

“Oh, uh, it’s not a—” you began, but she walked off before you could correct her.

“Well that’s awkward,” Kise chuckled.

You simply sighed in defeat as you took a moment to admire your surroundings. There was a clean white cloth spread across your table with a candle and flowers as a centrepiece. It was a bit too romantic for your comfort, but you tried to shake it off. “Someone went all out for a simple dinner. You even requested a table by the window. How picky can you get?” You said teasingly.

“I just made a reservation in case this place would be busy. You wouldn’t want to wait in line would you?” Kise explained and you shook your head in response. “Exactly. And I got the window seat because I know you like to stare out sometimes. I figured you wouldn’t wanna stare at me all night long, so I got you a better view.”

You felt your stomach turn as your mind’s immediate thought was how Kise was enough of a view on his own. You had to admit, he looked fantastic that night— when he said he was going to dress up, he wasn’t kidding. It was a simple white button up shirt with a red tie, but he still looked dashing. Perhaps it was the fact that he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, showcasing his toned forearms that pulled the look together. Either way, you didn’t like the fact that you were viewing your friend in such a way.

“Oh my, what is this self deprecation? I thought I was hanging out with model and Generation of Miracles member, Kise Ryouta, not some emo teenager,” you said, your tone resembling Kise’s dramatic one that you’ve heard a thousand times before.

“Well, if you’re not going to appreciate my effort of getting us these seats, I can just ask them to move us away from the window,” Kise huffed.

“No, no,” you tracked back almost immediately. “I like the window. Thank you.”

“That’s what I thought,” Kise grinned triumphantly.

That night was absolutely lovely. But no matter now hard he tried, Kise couldn’t take his eyes off you. As expected, you’d rest your chin on your palm and gaze out the window with a faraway look in your eyes, and Kise could do nothing but admire how beautiful you looked. He couldn’t believe that he knew someone as amazing as you were. Moreover, he couldn’t believe that he told himself that he wouldn’t fall for you. What a dumb decision. But he was already this far in, maybe it was just that fact that he can’t have you that made him want you more. These feelings will pass, right?

As the two of you walked back to the hotel that night, a cool salty breeze flowed through the air. Kise had made you laugh yet again, and his heart filled with joy as the bright smile returned to your face. He could stay in this moment forever.

“I can’t believe this is our last night here,” Kise sighed once you simmered down.

“Yeah, this trip was actually kinda fun. I wish it didn’t end so soon,” you said, gazing up at the bright full moon.

“You think we can squeeze in one final adventure tomorrow morning?” Kise questioned.

“Where to?”

Kise shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Well then, I’d rather stay in and sleep thank you very much,” you said.

“Are you tired yet?”

“Not really.”

“Then let’s go walk along the beach,” Kise suggested.

“But the sand gets everywhere, it’s so annoying,” you frowned.

“It’s our last night. Come on,” Kise said, grabbing your wrist and dragging you towards the empty beach.

The two of you walked by the water where the sand was firmer so that it less tedious. It was quite peaceful hearing the waves crash against the shore as the water glimmered under the moonlight.

“You know, when I first met you, I really didn’t wanna be your friend,” Kise said out of the blue.

“How rude,” you faked a gasp as you playfully whacked his arm, making him chuckle. “But to be honest, me neither.”

Kise looked at you with a dumbfounded expression. “Seriously, Y/N-cchi? But why?” he whined, seeming much more offended than you were.

“Because you always had people following you around and I didn’t want to be caught up in that,” you explained, kicking a pebble around as you walked.

“Oh,” Kise said, realising he probably shouldn’t have said anything because he couldn’t explain his reason as rationally as you did. “That’s fair, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you wanna be friends with me? Was I annoying?”

“What do you mean, you still are annoying,” Kise joked, earning himself another whack on the arm. “I’m kidding, no you weren’t annoying.”

“Then what was it?”

“Okay, this might sound really stupid, but I told myself that I wouldn’t go after the first person that’s nice to me, because that always ended up with people using me for something or the other,” Kise explained, stopping in his tracks to pick up a smooth pebble.

“That’s fair,” you said, trying not to overthink what he meant by ‘go after’ as you watched him skip the pebble over the waves.

Kise looked out at the horizon, seemingly lost in thought for a moment before turning back to face you. “You know, you caught my eye almost immediately and that was a red flag to me for the longest time, but you actually turned out to be pretty cool.”

It was strange seeing Kise like this. It was like he was possessed. He never speaks in such a serious manner with you. “Well duh, because I’m awesome like that,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

A gentle smile spread across Kise’s face. “I told myself I wouldn’t fall for the first person I had a crush on, but here I am,” Kise let out a heavy sigh, glancing back out at the ocean for a moment.

“Crush? You had a crush on me?” you asked, your stomach doing twists and turns that made you feel as though you were going to throw up all the delicious food you had earlier.

“Yeah,” Kise muttered. What was he saying? Why was he complicating things? “I hate myself for it.”

“Oh. Um, it’s okay,” you said, unsure what to say. He clearly didn’t want to like you, so you didn’t want to bring up how you felt about him. “We can stay friends if you want, nothing has to change.”

Kise looked back at you, finding comfort in the warmth of your eyes. There was no dramatic outburst like he expected. You seemed to be considerate of his feelings. You genuinely did care for him. “I don’t mind staying friends. But is it okay if I do this?”

Before you could think twice about it, Kise had his soft lips pressed against yours. Even though your mind hadn’t fully wrapped itself around the situation, you found yourself kissing him back. Kise felt you melt into his touch as his heart skipped like pebbles on the water. God knows how much Kise had been longing for this moment. To have his arms around your waist, your body pressed against his, and his lips on yours. He could finally get a taste of you and it was better than any meal he could imagine. This just felt right.

After a few moments, Kise pulled back to catch his breath, his mind racing with thoughts that he couldn’t even keep up with. “I’m sorry,” was the only thing he could muster.

“Don’t apologise,” you shook your head, taking his hand in yours and squeezing it tightly. “I am absolutely okay with that.”

A wide smile spread across Kise’s face as his mind slowly began to clear up. Maybe his instincts were right this time. You were perfect to him the moment he laid his eyes on you, even though he tried to deny it. And as you stood in front of Kise with the moonlight glittering in your eyes, you were just as perfect as the day he met you.

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #knb #kuroko no basket x reader #kuroko no basquet #kise ryouta #kise ryota x reader #kise x reader

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ourloveisforthelovely · 3 years

Text

On the Mend. Part 2

Harry Potter AU

Link to Part 1

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader. Sirius Black x Remus Lupin

Rating: M- later chapters

Song in Chapter: The Night We Met by Lord Huron

______

I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met

And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met

Walking into the house, you immediately smelled Regulus’ cologne. You fought the urge to turn and run out of the house. It didn’t matter how much your heart was screaming to run to the man and never let him go. You had to think with your head this time. Renee deserved that much. She didn’t deserve to be torn between two parents. The child also didn’t need to see Regulus hurt you over and over again.

Your mind was also on Ambrosia Parkinson...Black...whatever her last name was now. What if she and Regulus repaired their relationship? Would she be unkind to Renee? What if she wasn’t? The 13-month-old wouldn’t be able to tell you if her stepmother was cruel. Would Regulus even pay enough attention to notice anything strange? Something told you, no.

The better question was how would Ambrosia handle the news that Regulus had a child with another woman? You smirked at the thought of the whole Black family having a major hissy fit because Regulus royally fucked up. Regulus went and knocked up the “Potter girl.” You could see Walburga’s scowl in your mind. The horrible woman would either be on the floor screaming or burning Regulus’ name off of the family tapestry. What a scandal that would be! Sirius was already gone, now her youngest “good” son had sunk to a whole new level of low.

Regulus was lucky that James wasn’t alive right now. Your older brother would have probably tried to kill him by now. James would definitely not sit back and leave it to his best friends to help raise Renee. He would have gone to Grimmauld Place and hexed Regulus until he left Ambrosia to take care of his responsibility.

You had to shake the thoughts of James from your mind. If you wanted to face Regulus and not be sobbing you had to stop thinking of your brother. Regulus didn’t deserve you taking that wrath out on him. He didn’t have anything to do with James or Lily’s deaths.

The hallway to the sitting room was dark. You took a few deep breaths before stepping in. Both Regulus and Remus immediately stood when you walked in. Regulus was paler than you remembered as he opened his mouth to speak a few times but nothing came out. He was still the same handsome boy that you loved so much.

Your attention went to Remus, who was nervously looking between the two of you.

“Remus, we have insurance on this place...right?”

Remus nodded, slightly confused.

“Yes. Why?”

You reached over for the vase that was sitting on the table beside you. Right away you started throwing whatever you could get your hands on at Regulus. Whether it be the shock of you coming after him so violently or something else, Regulus didn’t move quick enough and was pelted by several objects. Finally, he resumed his quick seeker’s reflexes and started smacking stuff away from him as you tossed it.

Remus jumped back, not about to get hit before yelling for Sirius. By the time Sirius put the baby in her playpen and ran into the living room, you had your wand out and was hurling hexes at Regulus. Sirius blinked a few times as Regulus quickly dodged whatever you threw his way.

“A little help here?”

Regulus snapped toward his brother, who shrugged.

“She’s being a lot nicer than I would be.”

Sirius wasn’t about to step in on this one. In his mind, you deserved the right to do whatever you wanted. Remus, meanwhile, quickly wrapped his arms around you from behind.

“Think about Renee. I know that you are hurt and angry but this is her father. Please...this is not you Y/n.”

He whispered in your ear. Remus kept his voice low enough so that only you would hear. You trembled a few times before lowering your wand and putting it in Remus’ outstretched hand. Remus gave you a gentle smile before turning to the wrecked living room.

Regulus meanwhile, looked slightly scared as you turned to face him. He expected you to be hostile but he didn’t expect to get attacked. This behavior wasn’t you. Regulus decided that he had himself to blame for this extreme change in character and he hated it!

You were still the beautiful girl that he had fallen in love with during 6th year. Everything about you was the same. You still had those hazel eyes that could change shades by your mood. There were those full lips that were screaming to be kissed. Everything about you was what Regulus wanted and needed. Only now he was afraid that you would never accept what he had to offer...which wasn’t much.

“What are you doing here?”

You asked, coldly. Regulus regained his calm composure. Moments before he was close to panicking himself. There was no way that he had control of what you had just done to him but maybe if he could just speak...

“I needed to talk to you.”

You narrowed your eyes.

“There are letters and telephones. Both of those work nicely.”

“And you would ignore me.”

Regulus replied. You shrugged.

“Most likely. It would be your own fault. When will you learn foolish boy that if you play stupid games you will win stupid prizes?”

Sirius leaned back and held a hand up.

“She’s got a point.”

Regulus glared at his older brother.

“I didn’t come to talk to you.”

Sirius smirked as you turned back to Regulus.

“You should go home to your wife and be a good husband. I have nothing to offer you.”

You actually had a lot to offer him and both of you knew it. After some time of healing, you could open your heart to him again and love him as you did. There wouldn't have to be any more hiding in the shadows to kiss your lover. You could kiss and hold him as you so desperately wanted to.

He left you! He left you for some pureblood princess who his FAMILY found acceptable. It didn’t matter then that you are a pureblood and it won’t now. Regulus didn’t stand up for your love then why would he now? Don’t let him hurt you again!

Your mind hissed.

It didn’t take Regulus knowing everything about you to know that you were giving yourself some little pep talk that was geared against him. If he could just gain control of this conversation….

“You actually have a lot to offer me. I’m not married to Ambrosia anymore.”

“That’s a pity.”

You muttered before turning and taking the glass of water that Remus was holding out to you.

You actually have a lot to offer me.

You internally snorted at the thought. The only thing that you had to offer him was the heir that sat in the other room happily playing with her blocks. Hell would freeze over before you let the Black family sink their claws into your precious little girl.

Regulus only blinked. He expected your sarcasm to be thrown his way.

“Not really. I didn’t want her anyway.”

You turned.

“Where was that attitude before? I’m sure your mummy is having a fit about her little splendid plan falling apart.”

Regulus frowned.

“I didn’t come to talk about my parents.”

“Well, I don’t know what you want from me, Regulus. You made your feelings quite clear. I loved you. Now you're just a page torn from the story that I’m living.”

Remus, meanwhile, motioned Sirius out of the room. This conversation was becoming a bit more personal than he cared to witness.

Regulus waited until they were out of the room before stepping closer to you.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you. You didn’t deserve to suffer because I didn’t want to upset my parents. If I could go back and do things differently...it would have been you that I married...not her. I love you. I never loved her as I love you. Why the hell do you think that she left me? Ambrosia is a lot of things. Stupid isn’t one of them.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“She knows that you love me...me specifically and not some other girl?”

Regulus nodded. He didn’t let his eyes leave yours.

“Yes. I told her.”

When you started laughing, Regulus felt a bit confused. What was funny about this whole situation? There was nothing funny! Regulus missed the birth of his daughter and broke your heart for no reason yet here you were laughing.

“What’s funny about this?”

He snapped. You had to swallow back another fit of giggles as you turned to see Remus and Sirius watching you looking as baffled as Regulus. Sirius leaned over to Remus and muttered “when a woman starts laughing at you over something stupid that you did that is how you know how fucked you are.” You made a mental note to congratulate him on that comment later before turning back to Regulus.

“What’s funny is all of this bullshit could have been avoided if you would have been a man and stood up to your parents. We wouldn’t have had to go through anything that we would have. Ambrosia wouldn’t be out there wondering what the fuck she did wrong. I must really be crazy because I am sticking up for her ass. By the way, you married a woman named after some kind of fruit salad. At least my name makes sense.”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl.

“Are you done?”

You shook your head. Hell no, you had enough material to make the poor guy listen to for hours. Regulus wasn’t with you when you were going through your own personal hell. He wasn’t there when you had to put your brother and best friend in the ground. When you lost custody of your nephew to a couple of muggle shitheads or when you were in labor for 20+ hours with Regulus’ child. That was Sirius and Remus there. They went through that whole ordeal with you! It was Sirius who did what Regulus was supposed to do when a child was born. Sirius and Remus were the ones walking the floors comforting a colicky Renee at three am when you were so frazzled that you wanted to cry yourself. The keywords here were Sirius and Remus, not Regulus.

“I have a lot of material. You should stick around.”

You replied with a smirk before sitting down on the couch. Regulus was silent for a few moments as he tried to get himself in check. Finally, he couldn’t stand it or remain calm any longer. Expressing his emotions was hard enough but at the moment he wasn’t feeling too shy either.

“Merlin, I fucked up! Fucked up big! What else can I say, Y/n?! I want to be a part of yours and Renee’s life. What about our child? I deserve to be in her life too...if I would have known before I would have been there. As you said, there are telephones and letters. I didn’t get anything that I deserved to get.”

The guilt began to fill your senses again.

“You made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. You had your wife and that is where your heart was.”

“I just told you that I didn’t love her. That would have been all the more of a reason for me to walk away.”

Your eyes dropped to his feet.

“You still wouldn’t have left.”

Regulus waited a moment before closing the distance between you. His fingers tilted your face to his.

“I’m here now.”

You stared into his eyes...those beautiful grey-blue eyes that you loved so much.

“Please, love. I’m not going anywhere ever again. You want the lover that you were supposed to have..the father that our daughter should have had from the beginning...I’m right here.”

You put your hand on top of his. Feeling his skin against yours felt more heavenly than you wanted to admit. Regulus’ hand was trembling beneath yours as you pulled away.

“I can’t trust you yet.”

“I’m not a death eater anymore. If that’s what you're scared of too…”

You didn’t turn to face him again.

“I’m not afraid of you being a death eater. I’ve dealt with that since we were 16. I’m afraid of having my heart broken again. That is what I am afraid of.”

You walked out of the room. At the moment, you needed to get some air and fast!

Sirius waited until he heard the front door close before leaning down and scooping Renee up. He smiled down at his little niece.

“Time for you to shine, sweetheart.”

Regulus was still staring at the place where you had been standing when Sirius walked back into the sitting room. The younger brother’s eyes weren’t blinking as he fought the urge to cry. He thought for a brief moment that you would let him kiss you. If he could give you just one kiss...just show you the passion that he still felt...maybe things would be alright? Now he didn’t know where he stood or if you would ever let him back into your life again. As you said, he was just a page torn from the story that you were living.

“You’ll have to give her some time. The last little bit hasn’t been too kind to any of us. We are all afraid to open up to anyone right now.”

Regulus’ head snapped up at his brother’s voice. He froze seeing the little girl in Sirius’ arms. Regulus would have recognized this baby as his from anywhere. She was everything that Regulus could have ever dreamed about.

Sirius smiled down at her.

“She has your eyes and Y/n’s sweet personality...most of the time. You both have dark hair so take that how you want it. Renee, want to say hi to your daddy?”

The little girl looked between her uncle and father before shoving her face in Sirius’ neck. Sirius’ smile faded when Regulus looked down. It didn’t take Sirius being Regulus’ brother to know that the other man was questioning every choice that he had ever made in his life.

“She’s a bit shy at first. Once she warms up to you, you aren’t going to have another quiet moment in your life. She’s finally starting to talk and we are still working on the walking thing. She doesn’t have much desire to learn when someone is always willing to pick her up.”

Renee had slowly turned her attention back to Regulus with a little sly smile.

“See what I mean?”

Sirius said with a smile. He turned his attention to the little stuffed lamb that was laying on the couch.

“Get that toy and bend down.”

Regulus quickly did as he was told as Sirius stepped within arm's length of his brother and knelt down. Sirius gently turned Renee around.

“Sugar, why don’t you go tell your daddy hi and get your little toy?”

Renee focused her attention on Regulus as he held a hand out. She watched him for a few moments before wrapping her hand around his fingers and taking a few shaky steps. Sirius smiled as she made contact with Regulus’ chest. Regulus gently adjusted the baby in his arms before slipping the stuffed lamb into her hands.

“Daddy.”

Renee said with a smile. Regulus leaned down and snuggled his face against her head. Dark curls tickled his nose as the scent of your perfume mixed with baby lotion filled his senses. This was the scent that Regulus didn’t want to forget as long as he lived.

Sirius, meanwhile, sat down with a smile on his face.

“Regulus, I normally wouldn’t say this in front of the baby but if you plan on lea…”

“I’m not leaving.”

Regulus replied, firmly.

“I can’t...not now. I need to talk to Y/n.”

Sirius smiled, sadly. After the last conversation that the two of you shared, it would probably be a good idea for Regulus to wait for you to go to him. Sirius had politely put the sitting room back in order and really didn’t want to risk it being destroyed again. It would only take one good hex or heavy object to really bruise Regulus up.

“Give her some time, Reg. She needs it.”

Regulus nodded before looking back down to his daughter. Her attention was still glued to the stuffed animal that she was now chewing on. He stroked his finger over Renee's cheek with a soft smile. If he had to wait for you it would be worth it. Patience wasn’t something that Regulus didn’t have much of but maybe it was time to develop a new skill.

_____

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@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@sprnaturallover

@stuckinsaudi1

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 4 years

Text

Sweet Pea//something gave you the nerve, to touch my hand

Request: okay so the main request is a Sweet Pea/Reader insert pretty much using the bottom right gif from this gif set, i just think its a really great facial expression, it doesn't really have to be set in the "heathers episode" if you have a plot/idea in mind for it

hey! i hope you like this!! i honestly had no ideas about what to do with this, but then @statticghost being the angel that they are gave me this idea! so thank you!! title is from ‘its nice to have a friend’ by taylor swift! have a great day/night!

- To most people,

- Sweet Pea has one facial expression

- And one facial expression alone

- A scowl.

- But it seems meeting you has opened him up to a lot more feelings

- And so now to everyone’s surprise

- He actually smiles

- And laughs

- And not just at people he doesn’t like.

- Sweet Pea has looked at you many times

- From the day he met you he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you

- Usually it was because you were one of the people he was scowling at

- But now when he looks at you its usually with a smile

- More like grinning like an idiot anytime he even thinks about you

- But he’s only looked at you like this a handful of times.

- Three to be exact

- The first time he does it

- Is to annoy you

- He’s already argued with just about every student at Riverdale High

- And its only his first day

- So by the time he reluctantly drags himself to last period History

- He’s tired, annoyed and grumpy

- He’s also been separated from Toni and Fangs so he’s worried about them too

- When he sits down at the back of the class

- He just wants to lie his head on the desk and have a nice nap for the forty minutes he has to be there

- But as soon as he’s comfy

- Somebody is stood beside him, tapping their foot

- And its you

- He remembers seeing you stood beside Reggie when everybody was shouting in the corridor

- And he remembers you looking just as bored as you do now

- ‘what?’ He’d mutterered when he notices your arms crossed

- ‘you’re in my seat’

- ‘i didn’t see your name on it’

- ‘you don’t know my name’

- ‘i don’t want to’ You’d huffed loudly and he remembered smiling to himself

- But then Reggie and a few of his minions had come over

- All trying to look threatening

- And all failing

- And he rolled his eyes, sitting up properly and crossing his arms in font of his chest

- Both of you had glared at each other for a few seconds

- Completely ignoring Reggie’s presence

- But then of course he had to ruin it

- Like usual

- And Reggie started talking

- ‘if she wants to sit there...i suggest you move’

- ‘if you want to keep all your teeth...i suggest you shut up.’

- ‘do you really want to get kicked out on your first day’

- ‘yes’ He’d replied bluntly and he swore you had actually giggled

- But he was quickly distracted when Reggie had leaned forward, his hands resting on the desk

- Sweet Pea had looked between his face and his hands before standing up and sending you a sarcastic smile

- ‘if you ever want a boyfriend that is actually threatening, you know where to find me...princess’

- He’d gave you that look before moving to the next empty desk

- Your cheeks were bright red for the rest of the class

- And it didn’t help that he kept sneaking glances at you

- Before he left school, you had managed to catch up with him

- Muttering a quiet ‘i don’t have a boyfriend’

- Before rushing off to find your friends

- And that was the first time you ever made him smile

- The next time he looked at you like that came months after the first

- The feud between the north and southside had settled

- But tensions were still there

- Some people had started to see southsiders as people

- But some, still saw them as nothing but gang members

- Luckily

- You were one of the good ones

- You’d figured out that whatever you’d been told about the serpents was probably a bunch of lies

- Especially if the majority of them were high schoolers

- So you’d made it a mission to be nicer to them

- To try and include them in more things

- And to try and defend them when people were asses

- You’d also made friends with Toni after being partnered for a science project

- Which meant that sometimes you would sit together for lunch

- And that meant Sweet Pea had more opportunities to talk to you

- He didn’t really like you at first

- Well, he thought you were pretty, but you were also a northsider

- So he liked flirting

- But that was about it

- And the Toni started talking about you

- And you would spend more and more time with them

- Which meant that Sweet Pea was slowly falling for you

- And he was terrified

- Because whatever he wanted to happen between you

- Whenever he figured it out

- It just couldn’t

- Two sides of the same town were still at war with each other

- Even if it had calmed down a little

- And nobody would take a Romeo and Juliet style relationship seriously

- But then you appeared

- Wednesday lunch time

- It was like every other Wednesday

- He waited anxiously at the table for you to arrive

- All bright smiles and funny stories from your last class

- While Toni and Fangs made fun of him

- And then he saw you walk towards him

- A bright smile on your face

- Despite whatever the school was passing off as mac and cheese dumped on your tray

- And you were talking to a friend he recognized from your shared History class

- But just before you sat down

- You were surrounded by Reggie and his little gang

- All with sneers and smirks on their faces while they block you from going any further.

- Sweet Pea is the first to stand up

- Quickly followed by Toni and Fangs and then the rest of the serpents

- You and Sweet Pea make brief eye contact

- Because lets be real god can make eye contact with him, he’s that tall

- So its easy to see him over the heads of the football team

- You don’t look worried though

- More annoyed

- And it makes him smile

- Despite his clenched fists

- ‘y/n. have you forgotten on which side of the town you actually live on?’

- ‘reggie, just because you find it difficult to make it back home, doesn’t mean its difficult for everybody else. but if you need help, you live in the third biggest house in riverdale, its even got your name on it if you’re still confused. now will you kindly move so i can sit with my friends’

- Your smile is the sweetest thing Sweet Pea has ever had the privilege of seeing

- But what you’re saying makes it so much sweeter

- And the look on Reggie’s face makes it 1000 times better

- He stutters for a few seconds before huffing and walking away

- His friends mumbling to each other while they quickly follow him

- Fangs is the first to approach you

- A bright smile on his face while he leads you to the table

- And Sweet Pea looks at you like that when you walk past him

- But you don’t notice

- You’re too busy laughing at something Toni has said

- The rest of the serpents have surrounded you

- All of them listening intently while you tell them something that had happened earlier in the day

- But Sweet Pea’s left frozen in his spot

- He honestly has no idea what to do

- Because that was badass

- And he’s finally figured out what he’s feeling

- He’s pretty sure its love.

- The third time he looks at you like that, is a lot later

- Three years to be exact

- Its graduation!

- And Cheryl is throwing the best graduation party you’ve ever been to

- Not that you’ve been to a lot

- But its still great

- You and Sweet Pea are best friends

- But there’s something more behind it

- So what if there’s a bit lot of mutual pining between the two of you?

- Anyway

- So

- The graduation party

- Everyone is crying

- And telling people that they either didn’t know or used to bully, how much they’re going to miss them when they leave

- You and Sweet Pea are on the dance floor

- Having the time of your lives

- Your song is on

- You both looking amazing

- There’s absolutely no rhythm between the two of you

- Your kind of just jumping at each other with the biggest grins on your faces

- But then yours falters and he notices it straight away

- Its only for a second

- But before you know it

- He’s pulling you off the dance floor and up the stairs, pushing you into an empty bedroom

- ‘whats wrong?’

- His face is filled with concern while he looks at you

- You just sigh and flop on the bed

- Staring at the red and gold ceiling

- He lies beside you

- His legs dangling off the end and you nudge his thigh with your own

- ‘i’m going to miss all of this’

- Its silent for a few seconds and he sighs

- Deciding on the best thing to say

- ‘me too.’

- He smiles at you sadly and grabs your hand

- It feels natural

- Like the most normal thing in the world

- But the action makes you both blush and turn away

- ‘sweet pea?’

- Ten minutes have passed of the two of you listening to the faint music coming from downstairs

- The room is suddenly a lot darker

- But there’s moonlight illuminating some of the room

- And when Sweet Pea turns to face you

- The sight makes you feel breathless

- Moonlight lies gently on one side of his face

- The few freckles he has somehow sparkle

- And the curl lying on his forehead looks so soft that you’ve already brushed it away before you can stop yourself

- You swear his breath hitches and so you look back at him

- Maybe its the lighting and atmosphere

- Maybe its the impending definitive change thats coming for both of you

- But his hand finds its way to your hip, giving it a soft squeeze before pulling you closer

- And your hand moves into his hair, tangling your fingers in the strands

- Your heartbeat is a mix of nerves and excitement as you lean in closer

- And you swear you can hear it over the music coming from the living room

- But Sweet Pea looks just as nervous while glancing at your lips

- And then it happens

- He kisses you

- And its soft and gentle and a little awkward at first

- There’s some teeth clashing and head bumping

- But you soon get the hang of it

- You work each other out

- And its definitely worth the three year wait

- You would wait a lifetime if it meant you got to kiss him at the end

- And suddenly he’s on top of you

- Looking down at your with swollen lips and messy hair

- And he’s staring at you like you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen

- you are

- ‘sweet pea?’

- ‘yeah’

- ‘i still don’t have a boyfriend’

- ‘i know’

- He smiles at you

- And its the best thing you’ve ever seen

- You kiss him again

- And again

- Until you can barely breathe and your lips hurt

- Then he looks at you like that

- And three years doesn’t feel that long compared to the lifetime ahead of you

#sweet pea #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x you #sweet pea x y/n #riverdale #riverdale imagine

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writingwhimsey · 3 years

Text

The Tiger and the Oda Princess Ch. 14

Chapter 14

It had been almost two months since the festival. I was only a mere two weeks away from my due date and the weather was heating up. It seemed like spring had sped right by. Nobunaga and the others visited when they could It seemed we had a gathering at least once a month. And since I was so far along, everyone was coming our way.

Since the heat had gotten so bad and I was even hotter thanks to all of the hormones flowing through my body, I had made myself some more summery attire. I had made some simple A-line sleeveless dresses out of the lightest fabrics I could find. I did make them down to my ankles so that I wouldn't scandalize the Sengoku era populace too much. Though I hardly left the palace anymore.

I sat in the shade of the veranda, fanning myself. "Oh, how I miss air conditioning...and ice cream." I spoke to myself. "And popsicles...snow cones."

"Trying to cool yourself down by thinking cool thoughts, my love?" Shingen asked as he came out to sit beside me.

"It's not working very well." I replied.

"Perhaps this will help." He said, setting a tray between us.

I looked at the tray. It held sliced up water melon and some water. "That might help." I answered, smiling.

Shingen leaned over and kissed my forehead. He was then taking the fan from my hand and began to fan me. "Allow me, my goddess."

I felt my cheeks redden. "You don't have to do that...though it does feel nice...thank you."

Shingen smiled at me. "I just want to do what I can to make you comfortable. What kind of husband would I be if I let my wife suffer? Especially while she is doing one of the most difficult things of life."

Shingen had only grown more attentive as my pregnancy went on. He really is the sweetest and the best! I thought to myself. It was at that though that tears began to sting my eyes. "Oh...dammit." I muttered as I wiped at the tears.

Shingen reached his hand up to my face, gently wiping away my tears with his finger tips. "Ava, my love, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing...I'm crying because I'm happy." I answered. "And you're just...you're so wonderful and love me...so much...I just..." I was then dissolving into a puddle of tears.

Shingen put a comforting arm around my shoulders but continued to fan me. He kissed the top of my head. "It's alright my love." He whispered to me.

We sat like that for a time before I finally finished crying. Shingen was then making sure I drank my water and handed me the water melon. "I can't wait for this baby t get here." I said. "I'm tired of being pregnant...and being so emotional...and of being so damn hot."

"Perhaps a dip in the river would help cool you off?" Shingen suggested.

"Oh...that does sound nice." I replied. It was then that I remembered Nobunaga and some of the others were supposed to be visiting today. "But wait, aren't Nobunaga and the others supposed to be coming by today?"

"Yes, Nobunaga and I have some strategies to discuss." He answered. "You should go to the river, take Asuna and some guards with you. After my meeting with Nobunaga, I will come to you."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Shingen nodded. "Yes, I just want you to be comfortable."

I smiled up at Shingen. "I love you, Shingen."

He returned my smile, leaning down to then gently kiss my lips. "I love you, Ava."

I finished the water melon and water. Then Shingen was helping me up. My belly was so large that I couldn't get up and down without assistance now. Sitting down was also a chore in all honesty. We walked inside...well Shingen walked, I had begun waddling. When we arrived Asuna and a group of guards were already waiting for me. Yukimura was among my guards.

"Here, I brought your lightest haori." Asuna said, draping the garment over my shoulders. "We do still need to keep the sun off of you."

"I know." I replied with a sigh. Ah, sunscreen how I miss you, too. I thought to myself.

It was then that Kenshin, Sasuke, and the Oda were arriving. "You weren't about to leave, were you?" Nobunaga asked, looking at us.

"Just Ava and the guards." Shingen answered.

"Where are you headed?" Masamune asked.

"to cool off in the river." I answered. "It is ungodly hot and I am roasting." I was then pulling out my fan to begin fanning myself. However, I dropped my fan. "Dammit." I muttered.

Shingen instantly bent to pick it up for me and gently placed it in my hand. "Don't worry." He told me with a gentle smile.

"What's the matter you can't pick up your own things now?" Came a teasing voice from Mitsuhide.

I felt my cheeks redden. "Shut it, Mitsuhide." I snapped.

"She can try...it's pretty funny to watch her." Yukimura replied. "She also can't sit down or stand up without help."

"Yukimura." Asuna said, giving him a slap to the back of the head the same time Shingen flicked him between the eyes.

"Owe, what was that for?!" He remarked.

"That is not the way to talk to or about a beautiful woman." Shingen replied.

"You're such an idiot." Asuna added.

"I'd like to see you try being pregnant." I remarked, glaring at Yukimura.

"You really should be nicer to her." Hideyoshi agreed. "How are you feeling, Ava?"

"Hot." I answered, furiously fanning myself. I was then looking at Sasuke. "Think you can keep everyone in line?" I asked.

"Of course. I will just litter the ground with Makibishi spikes." He replied. "You go cool off and don't worry about a thing."

"We can all get along." Shingen added, lifting a hand to stroke my hair.

"We don't always devolve into fighting." Nobunaga agreed, almost sounding like a petulant child.

I couldn't help but to giggle. "Sure, sure."

Shingen smiled warmly at me. He was then taking my hand and placing a gentle kiss on it. "I swear to you, we will all be on our best behavior. You have nothing to worry about, my princess."

I smiled, my cheeks reddening. "Okay. You guys have fun."

"I think it's be more fun to go with you to the river." Masamune said, grinning. "See both you girls splashing around."

"I hate to disappoint you, but I'm going to find a nice shady cool shady spot and just sit in the river." I replied.

"And I will just be sitting beside her." Asuna added. "Also trying to cool off."

"Be fun to be there when you stand up then." Masamune said his grin widening and his eye roaming up and down Asuna's body.

Asuna was walking over and slapping Masamune upside the head. "I don't know who is the bigger idiot you or Yukimura." She was then groaning.

I was holding back more laughter. It was a moment later that Shingen and I were sharing a kiss and I was heading off with Asuna, Yukimura, and my guards. Though it was a short distance to the river, we had to stop and take frequent breaks as I was becoming winded very easily.

We finally arrived at the river and we found a rather nice shady spot. Yukimura and the guards set up a perimeter and checked things out. Asuna laid out a blanket and picnic basket. She had also packed some extra clothes, since we would be wading into the river still clothed.

I made my way into the river and then found a nice spot that I could sit down in. Asuna of course was helping me every step of the way. "How are you feeling, Ava?" Asuna asked me.

"So much better." I answered with a contented sigh as the cool water washed over me.

"Just a couple more weeks." Asuna told me.

"I just wish they would get here already." I replied. "I am starting to get so tired of being pregnant."

Asuna laughed. "I hate to tell you, but it's only about to get worse."

I let out a groan. "I feel like it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for this heat."

"I really don't see what is so bad about being pregnant." Yukimura spoke up from the riverbank.

"Oh, I don't know. Only my entire body is changing. I have another person inside of my body, growing and kicking me at all hours of the night. Pushing on my internal organs. Not to mention I cry over the dumbest things. Then there's all of the embarrassing stuff that my body does and I have no control over it..."

"Okay, okay I am sorry I asked." Yukimura replied.

As usual Yukimura had irritated me. So I decided to splash him in the face.

"Haha!" Asuna laughed. "Direct hit! Nice shot, Ava."

"What was that for?" Yukimura asked looking so much like a puppy.

"For acting like being pregnant is no big deal." I replied.

Asuna was then splashing him as well. "The simple answer is that you're an idiot."

Yukimura grumbled, but looked at Asuna with an almost tender smile. I totally ship them. I thought with a grin. I think Asuna would be good for Yukimura, too. He needs someone who can kick his butt and knock some sense into him.

"What's with that look on your face, Ava?" Asuna asked me.

"Nothing." I lied.

Asuna eyed me. Then her cheeks became red. "You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I replied with a grin.

"What are you two even talking about?" Yukimura asked.

"Nothing." Asuna and I answered in unison and then both giggled.

"Women." Yukimura muttered with an eye roll.

I started laughing again. Then Asuna splashed me. "What was that for?" I asked.

"Just want you to stop thinking what I know you're thinking." She answered.

I splashed her back. We played like that a few moments before dissolving into a giggle fit. It was in the middle of my laughter that I felt a tightening in my belly. I gasped.

"Ava?" Asuna asked, catching onto it right away.

"It's nothing." I replied.

"Ava, I am your midwife." She said.

"I just...I felt a tightening is all." I answered. "Right here" I then gestured to where I had felt the pang.

"That could be labor pains." She said.

"You mean like...my labor is starting?" I asked.

"You're far enough along that you should be experiencing practice labor. Your body is warming up for the real thing."

"That makes sense." I replied. It was then that I felt the tightening again. It was a bit sharper this time.

"Did you feel it again?" Asuna asked.

"Yeah."

"Maybe we should get you back to the castle." Asuna said. "Two weeks isn't too early. We should go back...just in case."

I nodded. "Alright."

We got out of the river. Yukimura and the guards turned their backs as Asuna and I changed. As soon as I was changed, it was then that felt another pang and then something wet was falling down my legs. "Uh...did...did my water just break?"

"Yes, yes it did. Let's get going." Asuna answered.

https://writingwhimsey.tumblr.com/post/659492281348472832/the-tiger-and-the-oda-princess-ch-15

#ikesen shingen #ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikemen series #fanfiction #fanfic #romance #chapter 14

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vlogsquadssquad · 4 years

Text

secure

summary: Charlie puth invites David to a get together where David meets y/n and they hit it off.

a/n: a teensy weensy bit angst but im 100% making a part 2 of this with a happy ending so no worries!!!!!!!!!

warnings: language

mood board:

-- 3RD PERSON DD & CP

“hey what are your plans for Saturday?” Charlie asked David as they finished up a bit for the vlog.

“umm, nothing really. im kind of in a fog right now. why?” David took a bite of his apple.

“well im throwing a small little kickback at my house. a few of my music friends are coming and it might get you some good connections, if you'd like.”

“dude, that's fucking sick! name drop! is Selena Gomez gonna be there?” David asked excitedly.

“no, no, Selena doesn't really do too many social events anymore. she's going through a lot...” David raised his eyebrow as Charlie looked to the ground. “but you know who will be there? y/f/n!”

“shut the fuck up dude are you serious?” Davids heart dropped at the thought of y/n at the party. he's been crushing on her for a bit, and has been dying to meet her.

“yeah, I mean she texted me she would, why are you all giddy?” Charlie punched David on the shoulder playfully, but secretly didn't want David to say he had a crush on her because truth was, so did Charlie. what's not to like? she's humble, kind, funny, easy-going, and down for anything.

“oh, uhh... no reason, just she's a pretty popular singer right now. good clickbait.” David said with nervousness in his voice. he didn't want to admit that he had a crush when he hasn't even met her.

“alright, well ill see you at the kickback then. bring some friends!” Charlie tried not to sound worried or suspicious. he’d have to keep an eye on the two.

-- YOUR POV

I really hate going to parties. but Charlie promised it would be chill and just a way to destress. ive been in a fog with my album im writing. I have great songs but I need two more and im stuck on what to write about. maybe the party will be a good thing.

-texts w - Charles 🤪 -

< should I wear something casual or ?? are we dressing nicer lol

you look great in everything! >

maybe party casual if that's a thing? >

< thought it was a kickback you ass! lol but thanks for the heads up. see you there, Charles! 😉

-end texts-

he hated when i called him Charles but i love messing with him. after careful examining of the clothes i had, i decided to go as I was. it was an easy going outfit but I still looked put together. I had no one to impress anyways.

-- 1st PERSON DD

“dude, im so nervous.” i whispered to Ilya, who knew of my crush.

“its fine man, don't be a pussy.” i took a drink of my water and grabbed my camera to film with Benny Blanco a little he always had something funny or interesting to say.

“Charles!” I heard from the living room. i didn't think anything of it and kept filming with Benny and Jeff. a little while goes by and then Benny looks over my shoulder.

“hey, y/n/n! so good to see you!” i froze. y/n went and gave benny an inviting hug and then turned to me. her eyes were easy to melt into.

“hi, good to see you, im y/n” she went in for a hug. she smelled beautiful.

“oh, hi. im David. big fan.”

“and im Jeff, wow you look so great, can I get you a drink?”

i rolled my eyes at Jeff trying to make a move. of course he's into the same girl I am.

“oh, im ok, I actually don't really like to drink.” she's so kind and gentle as she speaks.

“so how is the album coming?” benny asks her.

“its... not.” she laughs lightly but I can tell she's stressed. is it too early to tell her I already know her inside and out? am I crazy for watching all her interviews, tiktoks, and instagram stories?

“im in a fog,” she looks to the ground. how are we already so compatible? “I want two more songs but im having trouble finding a conclusion to the story im telling. maybe there isn't one, I don't know.”

“what's the story you're trying to tell?” I ask feeling very brave and comfortable already.

“basically my current dating life.” she slightly blushes. “its so hard dating and every time I start to like a guy or I know of him and I already have a crush on him, it doesn't end well. and I have these little romances I write about but they all end in either piggy behavior or ghosting.” we laughed along with her. her smile was radiating.

“maybe I can help, do you wanna go to Charlie’s studio?” Benny asks her.

“you're an angel! yes! ill repay you in food.” she laughs. as they walk out, Im watching her. she moves so flawlessly. “hey, you can come too. might get something good for the vlog.” she smiles to me. my heart is beating out of my chest. she watches my videos or at least knows of me. “cool, thank you.” I say trying to remain calm. she also pulls Charlie in and he drapes his arm around her shoulder. they're just friends.

as we get seated in the room, Benny starts asking her questions. “so, we know what message you're giving but how are you delivering it for the album? what's the feeling? want to play us a song that captures the vibe?”

“well I only have the instrumentals for the songs but I can play one live?”

“great, lets do it.” Charlie smiled to her as he handed her a mic.

“don't post this anywhere, David” she warned.

she brought warmth to my cheeks. “nope, ill only use it as blackmail.”

her laugh was such a gift. I could tell jokes all day just to hear her laugh again.

she played a beautiful song that was slow and powerful and all about heartbreak. it hurt to hear her go through that. then benny asked for another song. this one was more pop. like id hear it on the radio, but still deep.

the rest of the night was them composing songs and some stupid jokes here and there. safe to say she's the most down to earth and funny person in the room. the fans will go crazy that im here with her. im going crazy that im here with her.

-- YOUR POV

I spent the whole night in the studio with some amazing people. I found myself taking it all in and being so thankful for my life. ive known of David and watched his vlogs pretty frequently too, but being with him was a whole different experience. he gave great advice and genuinely helped me through some of my block. he gave a listeners point of view and had fresh ears. it was nice. he even offered to walk me to my car.

“I figured you'd have like a limo waiting for you outside or something.” he joked as we walked toward the street.

“nope, that's just youtubers.” I joked back.

he laughed, “ouch.”

“thank you for your input tonight.” he chuckled. “no, I really mean it. I think I know exactly how I want to end the album.” I look into his eyes as my back is pushed against my car.

“where's your mind at?” he looks back to me.

“loving myself. I know it sounds cliche, but isn't the greatest romance of all, the love you have for yourself? tonight was the most fun ive had, and it was just hanging out with friends talking about endless things.”

he nods as he takes my words in. “you're really secure with yourself. I like that. its going to be a great album.”

he leans in and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me which I don't need right now. then I see his hands go low to the handle of my car door and he opens it for me.

“oh, I can't take a hint, huh?” I joke with him.

“no, not at all. I just know you're excited to go home and write your new hit.” he says almost seriously.

“thank you” I whisper. “and also, can I get your number? id love to do something fun for the vlogs.”

-- DAVIDS POV, NEXT DAY

“il, it couldn't have gone better! she asked for my number, bro!”

“that's fucking sick. imagine you dating one of americas sweetheart, music icons.” Ilya pokes at David.

“its not a fucking joke, I really think there was something there but id really like to get to know her better.”

“who are we talking about?” Charlie asks as he enters the room. David had texted him to meet up for a bit they were doing.

“uh, no one.” im quick to reply knowing they're` great friends and I don't want any drama.

“oh ok... so what'd you think of y/n?” he asks me.

“oh she's great, yeah, I was editing some last night and I think I'll keep some parts in.”

“yeah, she's so easy to be around. I think im gonna ask her out, she's kind of the girl of my dreams, and im like 99% sure she's in love with me too.” he says almost marking his territory.

I look to Ilya and he just half smiles. “oh, that's great man. yeah you should ask her out if you're in love with her. she's a great catch.” my chest falls as I say it aloud. I really thought she liked me.

part 2

#davids vlogs #david dobrik #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik x reader #David dobrik fanfic #David dobrik imagines #vlog squad #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad fan fiction #Charlie puth #Charlie puth fanfic #Charlie puth imagine #Charlie puth fan fiction

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serifsans · 3 years

Text

Vladimir’s bulk is warm and comfortable in a way nothing else is. It’d probably be downright luxurious to curl up on his lap in his true form but if there’s anything Jean-Paul hates, it’s letting their boyfriend (boyfriend, he calls him, as if either of them aren’t anything but too damn old, as if they don’t think of him as their husband, even if they dare not say it lest that change something and ruin everything.) see them when they aren’t wearing human form. It’s embarrassing, like being caught wearing bell-bottoms before they cycle back into fashion. They’ll let Vladimir see them now when they’re skulking around wearing ratty bathrobes so old they’re now antiques but JP draws the line as letting him see that silly pink dog.

(Also, they figure that if the regulators ever decide to mind-wipe him, it’s probably better if he has less memories of an obviously alien form. Maybe it won’t completely fry his brain then. JP’s terrified of that. Of course, JP also knows that if they ever came for him, Vladimir’s taking as many regulators as possible with him before they could even get to his head. They’re terrified of that just as much.)

They see each other so infrequently anyway that there’s no point wasting it looking like anything but a dream: that is, if your idea of a dream is undersized, middle-aged, and dressed entirely in designer brands. Vladimir’s is, which is part of the reason they like him so much. Their volph form is not a dream. It’s silly and little and adorable when it’s not glitching and lagging. JP will take adorable but the silly part, no.

Jean-Paul has his shop and his commissions and a whole part of his life he doesn’t want to drag Vladimir into any more than he already has. Vladimir’s got his work and his family and a whole part of his life he doesn’t want to drag Jean-Paul (or Polly Jean or whatever other name they cycle though) into any more than he already has. They both have businesses that keep them very busy and also side-pieces that also keep them very busy, mostly because neither of them really like to address their emotions and mostly deal with them by throwing themselves at whatever distraction they can find. Always, always, there’s the looming threat that this cannot last, that it’ll end poorly, that they should just end this, but whenever they break up, they can’t stay apart too long until the fear comes for one of them again.

Anyway, the point? Jean-Paul’s living like a fucking king over there because he gets to wallow all over this man. Anyone who doesn’t get to cuddle him is missing out on one of the finer joys of life.

“Paulie, my sweet one, maybe you would like it more if you moved a little, yeah? Just a little. I love you as I love no other, you are my starshine, my heart, but your ass, it’s bony. My legs can only take so much. I am sorry, my love.”

Oh, okay, the man he loves is just cruelly abandoning him like a complete and utter monster. That’s how it is. Being JP is so hard. They make a big show of looking extremely sad as they scoot off his lap and curl up against his side instead, sighing extremely, extremely over-dramatically. Vladimir pets his hair and gives him a little kiss to make up for kicking him off of his lap. JP sighs even more sadly and when that doesn’t elicit the desired response, sighs even louder so Vladimir kisses him again.

Their ass isn’t that bony.

“I guess I might find it within my heart to forgive you for this cruel and utterly cutting insult,” they say. “But only because I am an extremely kind person. The best. I’m completely saintly, darling. That’s the truth of it.”

Vladimir chuckles, a low rumble.

“They will write poems to your kindness and generosity. They will not say that you called what’s-her-name horrible things for hours only because she did not say hello to you while walking down the street. I still think she did not see you. If she knew what you said, she would never talk to you agains even if she did see you.”

JP huffs.

“First of all, it was not for hours. Second of all, I was only being truthful. Third of all, she did it on purpose; don’t argue otherwise. Fourthly, she can snub me all she wants, I really do not give a fuck, the joke’s on her, I made out with her dear old dad in the 70s and he liked it, so hah. I hope no one shows up at her fucking garden party. I hope she gets kicked out of the country club. I hope she buys a pony and it doesn’t love her.”

“Okay, Paulie, you tart,” says Vladimir, laughter still in his voice. “You were very busy in the 70s. You must have never rested.”

“You know it.”

Maybe being kicked off Vladimir’s lap isn’t so bad. It means they can nestle up against him and rest their head on his stomach. He likes to run his fingers through their hair, especially since they decided to start wearing it long in this body. Anyone else doing it makes him feel like anxious lapdog with no control over who does and doesn’t pet him (or pull his tail or mess with his ears or poke him) but Vladimir does it and he feels like a person instead. He closes his eyes and though he never naps, JP really feels so comfortable right now he could doze off. Bears are fantastic. The world needs more of them. Actually, it needs more of them and it needs this one to last forever.

“Mm, completely unrelated to exploits of the past, but I made an account on a website. Thought you should know. Transparency. Communication. That sort of thing. It’s fun.”

God, they’re comfy. This is amazing. Their life really is so blessed. Thank you, universe.

“Paulie,” his boyfriend says with gentle exasperation in his voice. “You join these websites, you find someone that maybe you do not like, you say things that you know to be hurtful, the websites say that you cannot go to them anymore. You can’t keep doing this. There is a reason that I run the boutique’s social media and you, you, my heart, are allowed nowhere near. You are very spiteful and very rude. I know this and I love you.”

JP really can’t argue against this one because they’re running out of websites to be banned from. Even still, they roll their eyes and huff because how dare Vladimir call them out like this.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll behave. I’m really trying to be nicer, you know. It’s all so goddamn weird that I wouldn’t even understand how to insult these people if I tried, anyway. I don’t fucking get memes, darling. It’s all a bunch of bullshit people pretend is funny. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I am sorry you do not understand the Internet. It is a strange place. I will send you Russian memes instead and then maybe you will understand,” Vladimir says. “If you do not like the site, then maybe consider not being on it.”

“I didn’t say that. I just said that it doesn’t make sense. Darling, you know I really do think people should cater to my exact sense of taste at all times but even though they don’t, I still very graciously put up with it,” JP says. “It’s a website for fellow space fans. They’re all bound to be weird."

Vladimir’s hand in his hair stills.

“I do not need to know the details of what you say on your websites, I think maybe I do not even need to know what they are called, but be mindful of what you post. You do not know who could be reading. Do not mention me on it ever, please. Be careful.”

The ever-present anxiety starts making itself known. It’s not that Vladimir himself makes them anxious because he’s a giant softie underneath the leather and gruff exterior and the fact that he will commit murder in an instant if it means protecting his loved ones. It’s just that sometimes JP very suddenly remembers how much they absolutely have to protect him at all costs and what it will be like to lose him if they can’t devise a way to keep him around forever.

“I’m sorry, Vladimir. I should’ve said something before I made an account. I’ll delete it. I just...you told me I can’t keep running away from others like me. Well, I can’t deal with them in real life. I just can’t. It’s just a website, I didn’t think things through, I don’t want to compromise your safety, I can-”

“Ah, ah, no, I am sorry, I think maybe I said things too harshly, do not worry, my darling. I trust you. Please, maybe it will be a good thing for you and then you will understand their memes. I only want you to be happy and safe. Just be careful, okay? And do not start fights with people.”

JP whines and buries their face against him.

“I really can delete it. I, I don’t always think things through. I wasn’t made for thinking.”

Vladimir decides the best course of action is to pull them back into his lap in hopes it’ll calm the anxious volph, except JP can’t even properly enjoy it because their brain (if they even have a brain because they honestly do not know.) goes from zero to one hundred in half a second and now they’re thinking about everything bad that could possibly happen because they joined a website for aliens.

“Hey, it’s okay, okay? Have fun on your alien dating site. Maybe you will sleep with a Nessie and it will change your life. Do not worry about me. Just be careful with yourself, okay? You do not protect that person enough.”

That’s enough for JP to momentarily break through the anxiety.

“It’s a blogging website, not a hookup website."

“Okay.”

...

“Paulie? Is the Loch Ness Monster real? Do you know her?”

“Darling, you know I never kiss and tell.”

“Is she real?”

“Fuck if I know but I’m certainly not swimming all the way over there to find out.”

#drabble #just jp hanging out with their boyfriend #jp swears like a sailor outside the context of the store #ooc

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dolce-peach · 4 years

Note

Hi! I really like your mcu fanfiction! Could you do a fanfic where the reader is an avenger and loves to paint and daydream and once she first meets Loki she falls head over heels and secrets dreams abt him and sketches and paints his portraits and he finds out. Hope you have a good rest of your day :)

unspoken

pairing: loki x avenger!reader

warnings: fluff, fluff, and more fluff oml

a/n: honestly this was the fluff i needed to write in the midst of my sad life 😂😭 hope you guys like it!

permanent taglist: @kaitlynmalikisnotonfire

** TO MAKE A REQUEST -- please check the status in my bio **

masterlist

----

Once again, you got carried away sketching on your paperwork. This time, it was Steve and Tony arguing over something petty while the mission meeting progressed. You leaned into your arm, your pen pretty much moving on its own.

“Anyways, before I was rudely interrupted,” Steve started as he sent a playful glare at Tony, “does everyone understand their role?”

Everyone nodded.

You continued shading in various parts of the quick sketch, further capturing lifelike qualities. The annoyance in Steve’s gaze. The defiance in Tony’s eyes.

“Y/N?”

You looked up, setting your pen down. “Sorry. Yeah?”

“Do you understand your role for the mission?” Steve repeated.

You sent an apologetic smile. “Aye, Cap’n.”

As the meeting ended, you collected your strewn papers with slight embarrassment. It wasn’t the first time you were caught with your head completely in the clouds.

You couldn’t help it. Sketching helped you concentrate, as strange as that sounded, and when you had time, painting helped you take your mind off of things. Healthy extracurricular activities that were relaxing were hard to come by, especially for a combat and stealth agent like yourself.

You made your way back to the common room, where everyone was crowding around Thor and someone else.

“Thor, you can’t just bring him here,” Steve said.

Tony snorted. “Yeah, what if he destroys half of New York again? Guess who’d have to clean that up? Me.”

“Oh, please,” Natasha groaned, rolling her eyes. “You give yourself way too much credit.”

“No offense, but I’m not a big fan,” Clint said, eyeing the newcomer anxiously.

Bruce cowered behind Clint. “Me too.”

“Of who?” you asked.

Everyone turned to see you standing there, your curiosity piqued. They slowly backed away, revealing someone you’ve only heard about.

“Loki,” you breathed.

He stood in all his godly glory, adorned in his green and black robes, hints of gold making everything vivid. He stood tall over you, making you shrink a bit at his bravado.

He smirked. “That would be me.” His eyes scanned you. “And who might you be?”

“Y/N.”

“And she can kick your ass,” Tony added helpfully.

Steve sent a warning look. “Language.”

Tony held his hands up in defeat, everyone laughing.

Loki kept his eyes on you with interest. You had to break away from his intense gaze, or you felt you might be eaten alive.

When you got done with training that day, you found yourself sitting on the balcony overlooking the night streets. You were snuggled up in a thick sweatshirt with your pencil and sketchbook.

You sighed happily.

If you had to describe your ideal night, it would be this. No missions to complete. No errands to run. No one to meet or please.

Just you and your imagination.

As per usual, you let your pencil draw for itself.

You smiled a bit to yourself, seeing the rough shapes coming together to form Loki’s structure. You began putting some fine lines in before shading ever so softly.

You’d been thinking about him the entire day. Other than the mischievous look in his eyes, he hardly seemed like the egotistic maniac who destroyed most of New York. Instead he looked gentle and reserved, taking in the world quietly, all while perhaps having a slightly sadistic sense of humor.

You shook your head. You didn’t care what the others had to say about him. You were determined to get to know him while he was here with Thor.

With your head full and your heart satisfied, you decided to brew yourself a cup of tea before heading back inside to retire for the night.

You filled the kettle and started the stove. You nearly jumped when you heard the fridge open behind you.

“Do all you humans drink such revolting liquid?” Loki asked, holding up a can of soda.

“Depends on what brand you drink,” you answered. “Would you like tea?”

He paused. “Yes, please.”

As he put the soda can back, you reached for two cups in the cupboard and scooped some non-caffeinated tea into a couple strainer balls. You placed them in the cups and carefully poured the boiling water, watching it swirl and change colors.

When it finished brewing, you removed the strainers and slid Loki a cup across the kitchen counter.

“Thank you,” came his quiet response.

You grinned. “No problem.”

You sipped your tea, and looked at him again before laughing.

He blushed. “What’s so funny?” he asked defensively.

“Nothing!” you laughed. “I just never expected to see a god in sweatpants and a t-shirt.”

“Well, it’s quite comfortable,” Loki argued. “And you didn’t expect me to stay dressed like that all the time, did you?”

“I suppose not,” you said, leaning against the counter.

It was quiet as the two of you finished your cups of tea. You took his empty cup and rinsed it in the sink.

You smiled to yourself. He really isn’t as bad as everyone says he is.

He stood awkwardly against the counter. “Um, thank you again.”

You shook your head. “Anytime.”

“Why are you being so kind to me?”

You blinked. “Hm?”

“Well...” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Usually people scream or glare or something. They think I’ll kill them the next instant or freeze them forever.”

“I don’t think you’re so bad,” you said. “Misunderstood, yes, but you’re not a bad guy.”

A blush colored his cheeks as he looked away.

“Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow, Loki,” you said with a smile.

He snapped out of his momentary daze. “Yeah. Have a good night...Y/N.”

As you began walking away, you couldn’t help but widen your smile, feeling your heart beating a bit harder.

The next week was utterly exhausting. Each of you used your abilities to the very max hunting down Hydra bases and the likes.

Having Loki fight with you all was strange for everyone. The Avengers always made sure to keep him in check, but you had no doubts about his loyalty, especially as you got to know him more.

There were also things unseen and unsaid.

You’d often catch him stealing glances at you, and you didn’t mind at all. It was almost like he was afraid you were going to disappear.

He’d come up to your room late at night with a cup of tea and stay into the early hours of the morning. Sometimes you’d talk, and sometimes you just watched the cars move up and down the street.

You’d become best friends with the god of mischief.

It wasn’t until you started dreaming about him that you discovered you were also in love with him.

Loki became your sole subject for your sketches. You loved capturing his many different expressions, especially the looks of varying annoyance.

Eventually, you gathered enough courage to begin a painted portrait of him. You were determined to show everyone how you saw him: vivid, charming, lovely, protective.

You used so many colors, a color for each bit of life in his expression.

As you painted, you got so lost in what you were doing, you didn’t hear Loki walk in behind you.

He silently studied you painting for a few minutes, taking it all in.

“What are you doing?”

“Jesus!” you yelped, nearly dropping your brush. Your cheeks grew hot as you tried to cover your work. “N-nothing!”

Loki laughed, catching you off guard. “I’ve been watching you the past few minutes.”

“Really?” you squeaked. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You looked like you were concentrating. I didn’t want to interrupt,” he said. “And I was enjoying watching you work.”

At this point, you were a red tomato. You had no idea why you were freaking out so much. It was just a painting of a friend.

A friend you wanted to be something more to.

“I’m flattered,” he continued. He eyed the sketches of himself strewn all over your desk. “You drew more?”

“Yeah, but they’re not much...” you trailed off as you shuffled them around a bit. “I mean, it’s just a relaxing hobby of mine...”

He carefully picked up some pieces, his eyes filled with admiration. “These are really amazing, Y/N.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course!” He furrowed his eyebrows. “But why me?”

“What do you mean?”

He nodded. “Wouldn’t it be nicer to sketch someone like my brother? Or one of your Earth friends?”

“I guess, but they’re not you.”

You were your reddest, if that was even possible at that point.

Loki took a moment before smiling. “If you insist.” He let out a small laugh. “If you want, I could model for you some time.”

Your eyes sparkled. “Really?”

He played with your hair.

“Anything for you.”

part 2

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darkshadow90 · 4 years

Text

Arthur Fleck x reader one shot: He’s got you on His Mind

Summary: You are a college student living in Gotham. You also happen to be one of Arthur Fleck’s neighbors. You pass each other on your way to classes, but you don’t talk to each other much. Arthur becomes infatuated with you, and thinks you’re in a relationship with him. Things escalate from there.

A/N: Hey, guys. This is a one shot I’m writing for an anon. They requested a one shot in which Arthur and the reader are neighbors. She’s in her early 20′s. Arthur becomes infatuated with her, and thinks they’re in a relationship. He’s more sexually experienced than the reader. This is my first time writing NSFW/smut in a story, so I’m not sure how good it will be. Please be kind with your feedback. I wasn’t sure what to include for the smut, so I decided to go with oral sex (female receiving). I thought it might be a little easier for me to write about since it’s my first time writing mature content. I didn’t want to write a full sex scene (like Arthur going all the way with reader) because I was afraid I would butcher it and it would be awful 😅 Now for the warnings: Arthur will be creepy in this. There will be stalking, unhealthy boundaries, kidnapping. Arthur will misinterpret things the reader says because of his delusions about her. This is in no way meant to represent a healthy relationship. Arthur and the reader don’t know each other very well at all. And because of that, this will be delving into major dub con territory. I can’t really imagine someone who barely knows Arthur being completely okay with doing intimate things with him. Especially when he’s imagined them being together and is delusional. Arthur doesn’t understand healthy boundaries. As I’ve mentioned before, while I have written quite a few Arthur x reader fluff pieces, I also tend to write Arthur darker than some of you would like, or are used to. Please remember that fiction isn’t reality. It’s only a story. Stay safe, everyone. That being said, I know some of you want to see more of a darker take on Arthur, and I’m so thrilled to have your support. Please do let me know if I’ve missed any trigger warnings. Anon, I hope in spite of how dark this is, it’s close to what you wanted. I hope all of you enjoy this 🙂

You hadn’t been living in Gotham long. You couldn’t afford to move to a nicer city, so you ended up going to college in the filthy city. You were hopeful that once you finished your degree, you would be able to get a job in a better city. On this particular morning, you were running late for class. You were running toward the elevator when you bumped into someone. “Oh, I’m sorry!” You were expecting the person to scream at you to watch where you’re going, but when you looked up, the man in front of you didn’t say anything. He just stared at you. It was like he was in a trance. Feeling uncomfortable, you looked down. You noticed there was a card on the floor. He must’ve dropped it when you bumped into him. “Looks like you dropped this.” He didn’t say anything. It made you more uncomfortable. “I’m sorry for running into you like that. I’m late.” “Arthur.” “What?” “That’s my name.” “I’m Y/N. Sorry I don’t really have time to talk. Bye!” Arthur watched you as you ran to the elevator.

Arthur was completely infatuated with you. You were one of the only people who didn’t yell at him or go out of your way to be mean to him. Almost everyone in Gotham was rude to him. But you weren’t. He was happy to have someone besides Gary treat him with kindness. He wanted to know more about you. He followed you everywhere. He picked up in all your habits, your likes and dislikes. Sometimes he watched you from your window at night. He knew your full routine. You fell asleep with the TV on a lot. There were times you began to feel very creeped out. You had an odd feeling that you were being followed. You called out for the person to show themselves, but no one ever came out of the shadows. There was one night you could’ve sworn you saw someone or something standing over your bed, but you weren’t fully awake. By the time you had fully woken up, whatever or whoever you thought you saw was gone. You could never shake the feeling someone was always watching you, and following you wherever you went. It made you feel on edge. You saw Arthur again. He seemed a lot more confident, and bold. He seemed a little strange, but he wasn’t dangerous...at least you didn’t think he was. You thought you could open up to him about how you’ve been feeling. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. Whoever it is that’s been following you wouldn’t hurt you. They’re looking out for you.” “How can you be sure?” “If they wanted to hurt you, they would’ve hurt you already.” “I guess you’re right. Maybe they’re my guardian angel. I should get going. I have a busy day tomorrow. Goodnight, Arthur.” You went inside your apartment and closed the door.

Arthur fell in love with you. He needed to follow you and get to know you better so he could make you fall in love with him. He spent the last few weeks following you, learning about your routine. He even managed to sneak into your apartment and watch you sleep. He made sure to leave before you woke up. He loved everything about you. Randall and the guys had paid prostitutes to go on a “date” with him. The women were nice to him. They were nice enough to show him how to please a woman. It was nice, but Arthur knew it wasn’t the same as a real relationship. It was more for the guys’ amusement than his, but he was glad he had the knowledge and experience he needed to make you feel good when the time came. He knew it would be different with you. In his mind the two of you had gone on several dates. You laughed at his jokes. “You’re so funny, Arthur. And you’re so handsome. I’m so happy you’re always there for me when I need you. I know everything you’ve done has been for me. I’m one of the luckiest girls in the world to have you in my life. I love you.” One night, he imagined you touching him. Your hand was so smooth and gentle as it continued to caress his manhood. Your praises and words of encouragement made him come. He snapped back into reality and washed the semen from his hand. He felt guilty. He felt shame for thinking of you that way, doing all those dirty things to him. But he knew it wasn’t wrong or shameful because he loved you. And you loved him, in his mind. You had touched the most intimate part of him, and he wanted to return the favor. When he saw you in the hallway, he was so happy when you told him the person following you is your guardian angel. He realized then that he had succeeded in making you fall in love with him. You viewed him as your protector. Of course, it was in his mind. He misinterpreted your reaction. He didn’t realize you were being sarcastic. He needed to keep you safe. You were too good for a place like Gotham. So soft and sweet. On that night, he intended to give you what you deserved.

He waited until later into the night when you would be asleep before making his way inside the apartment. He went inside your bedroom and carefully went over to the bed. He lifted you from the bed and carried you to his apartment. You woke up in a bedroom that was unfamiliar to you. It looked like it was a woman’s bedroom. You were trying your best to not panic. Someone was next to you asleep in the bed. It was Arthur. ‘What the fuck? What am I doing here? Why did he put me in his bed? I knew something was wrong with him. I need to get out of here before he wakes up.’ You got up and carefully began to make your way off the bed. Before you could stand up and get to the door, Arthur grabbed your arm. ‘Shit!’ “Where are you going, Y/N?” ‘Fuck, what do I do?’ “I...Arthur, why am I in your apartment, in your bedroom?” “I brought you here. You’ve been here before, Y/N. We’ve been dating, you know that. One night, you...you touched me. I know you feel the same way I feel about you since you told me I was meant to watch over you.” That’s when you realized Arthur was the person stalking you. ‘He thinks we’re in love with each other? Holy shit, he really is out of his mind!’ He gently pushed you back on the bed and kissed you passionately.

When you finally caught your breath, you jerked away. “Arthur, what are you doing?” “I want to return the favor.” The was a side of Arthur you had never seen before. He wasn’t shy. He was confident. The kiss he had given you was demanding. It wasn’t anything you would’ve thought you would see from him. You froze and didn’t know what to say. You had limited sexual experience and you sure as hell didn’t want to do something intimate with a man you barely knew. As he began to make his way down your body, you tried to move away, but you were pinned under him. “Arthur, stop.” Stop? Surely you didn’t want him to stop. You liked being with him before. Your body began to react and you felt yourself becoming aroused. “Wait.” He didn’t understand why you were trying to stop him. He suspected you hadn’t had many sexual experiences. He thought he just needed to calm you down so you would feel more at ease. You weren’t sure what to think anymore. Under normal circumstances, you would’ve been fighting tooth and nail, but Arthur hadn’t hurt you. He wasn’t looking at you like he wanted to hurt you. His eyes were full of love and adoration for you. Part of you didn’t want him to stop. You felt him remove your underwear. “Arthur!” “Shhh, Y/N, it’s okay. Trust me. I promise you’ll like this.” You decided to trust him, but you felt vulnerable knowing he was about to be between your legs. You looked away and closed your eyes. His first lap was gentle. He started from the bottom and licked all the way to the top of your folds, stopping at the bundle of nerves hiding there. You gasped at the sensation, and he kept doing it a few more times until he was sure both of you were more comfortable. You still kept your eyes closed. He parted your folds and his tongue delved deeper into your wet hole. It was soft, wet and warm against you, and felt so good, you almost pulled away from the intensity. You felt heat building up in the pit of your stomach. When he barely grazed your sensitive nub, you bucked your hips, and he pulled away. He wasn’t done yet. He used one of his hands to keep you in place. He latched his mouth onto your nub, sucking on it, and circling it with with his tongue. The coil in your stomach was getting tighter, and the heat was becoming more intense. You were trying your best not to cry out. You didn’t want anyone to hear you. Arthur inserted a finger inside of you and began to curl it. The movement of his finger combined with his mouth and tongue finally sent you over the edge as you let out a stifled moan. You opened your eyes and saw Arthur wipe your juices from his mouth. “See? I told you you would like it.” You did like it. But even though you wanted what he did, you knew a relationship with him would be far from healthy. You needed to figure a way out of there, but you knew it wouldn’t be easy. You learned something about Arthur. He was a very determined man, and he was determined to keep you in his life.

@theplaguetoendallplagues @dont-be-alarmed @germansarechill

#joker arthur fleck #arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader #joker fandom #joaquin phoenix joker #joker imagine #joker 2019

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mostlycompetentwriter · 4 years

Text

“Carpe Diem” - Domesticated Sequel

F/M Pairing: Felix x OC (original character)

Genre: Strangers to Lovers AU; Sequel

Warnings: mild language; but it’s mostly fluff again!

Word Count: 2.5K

Summary: Felix loves his brother, and he loves his brother’s wife as well. But there are times when he feels left out and lonely when he watches their interactions together, and maybe he’d like to experience love for himself with the right girl...

Thalia: the goddess of festivity

Felix really didn’t like the idea of a monogamous relationship. Because they often demanded too much of his time, and those commitments restricted his preference for one-night stands after picking up a pretty girl from the bar.

But perhaps Felix should reconsider his entire philosophy (after all, he does have a masters degree in the subject) because standing in the middle of the modest lobby of Y/N’s office building, Felix couldn’t help but wonder why he had ever believed such stupid things.

“I’ll call you later,” Thalia promised him with a gentle kiss - the current subject of his most intimate fantasies.

Felix smiled against her lips since he was apparently whipped for one girl (and one girl only) despite his past decisions. “I already miss you,” Felix replied, and he was grateful that Thalia found his cheesiness funny.

They had already been on several dates together (even though Felix couldn’t understand why she kept agreeing because he was so unbelievably shy and awkward), and Felix was growing more and more enamored with the concept of a long-term romance with flowers falling in the background while swelling music crescendos when they kiss for the thousandth time.

It was the perfect description for their relationship, and he met Thalia at one of the bars he frequented, and she instantly caught his attention with her flirtatious smile and infectious laugh. She also looked beautiful while wearing tight skinny jeans and a low-cut blouse that left very little to the imagination. They wound up together in the sketchy bathroom behind the building, and Felix had never been with someone who managed to unravel him from head to toe in such a short amount of time.

It was the first occasion where he had ever asked for the other girl’s number, and she had stolen his wrist and scribbled the numbers on the back of his hand before kissing the daylights out of him.

When he got home that night, he immediately questioned Chan on the topic of dating, asking him a thousand questions on how best to impress a girl: “Did you pay on your date with Y/N or did you split the bill?”

But Chan had looked at him like he had grown another head, and Felix realized that he would have to put in a lot of effort to make an impression.

Because Thalia was worth it, and she was just so pure like one of his favorite Greek mythology characters come to life!

“Be good for me,” Thalia said, pulling him out of his memories and back to the present moment.

Apparently, Thalia was meeting someone who worked in this enormous office building - the same one where Y/N suffered under the direction of Seo Changbin, but that was a story for another time.

“My sister-in-law works here,” Felix remarked.

“Oh?” Thalia grinned as she examined the space around them. “What a coincidence.”

“But I also enjoyed our lunch together,” Felix said, and he was suddenly crowding Thalia against the elevators despite the onlookers observing their interaction.

“Thank you for walking me here,” Thalia said, and Felix watched with a heart full of affection as she waved at him before the elevator doors closed on them.

And Felix was on cloud-nine for the rest of the day, checking his phone repeatedly as he waited for Thalia to contact him again.

“Are you waiting for the new PlayStation trailer?” Chan eventually interrupted his obsession, ruffling his hair before joining him on the couch.

“No!” Felix protested, and he shoved his phone away before reaching out for one of the controllers. “You wanna play?”

“Sure,” Chan said. “I’m not on call tonight.”

“Good,” Felix said. “I can kick your ass in Fortnite.”

“Whatever,” Chan scoffed, and he started jabbing his thumbs into the buttons while doing whatever he could to avoid Felix’s attacks. “You’ve had more practice than me!”

“You just suck,” Felix informed him bluntly, narrowing his eyes in concentration as he focused on the screen.

It was actually nice to spend some time with his brother and keep his mind off the persistent question of whether or not Thalia might call him before the end of the night.

“You two are so loud!” Y/N complained when she walked into the living room.

“It’s called intense focus,” Felix replied, chuckling when he managed to hit Chan’s character yet again.

“Hey!” Chan exclaimed, and Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Dinner is almost ready,” she said, tossing a towel over her shoulder before leaving the room and muttering something about boys and their games.

But just when Felix was about to win another round, his phone started going off, and he immediately hit the pause button so that he could look at the screen with a gasp. “Oi,” Chan shouted. “What the hell are you doing?”

“This is important!” Felix insisted, and his eyes drank in every word of Thalia’s message:

FROM T:

T: Would you be interested in having dinner with me and my step-brother tomorrow night? I really want you to meet him!

There was a series of X’s and O’s at the end that had Felix’s heart spiraling out of control. “Oh!” Chan grinned. “Is that your secret admirer?”

“Chan!” Felix whined. “She wants me to have dinner with at her brother’s house,” Felix said. “Holy shit! That means this is serious, right?”

“Congratulations, mate,” Chan said while slapping him on the shoulder. “I think you’ve got yourself a serious relationship!”

“Who, Felix?” Y/N scoffed when she re-entered the room. “I couldn’t help but overhear everything, but I’m having a hard time believing it.”

“She’s amazing,” Felix swooned. “I’m a total romantic now!”

“Felix settling down for one girl?” Y/N questioned. “I never thought I’d see the day!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Felix frowned.

“Nothing,” Y/N song-songed, and she invited them into the dining room where Felix played around with his food while he thought about his impending date.

“But what should I do about her brother?” Felix asked, looking back and forth between Y/N and Chan. “He might hate me!”

“Nobody could hate you Felix,” Chan said. “Just be yourself.”

“But with better manners,” Y/N inserted. “And maybe a nicer attitude-”

“Okay, I get it,” Felix huffed. “I need a lot of work.”

“We can practice right now,” Y/N suggested. “The table is set, and we can pretend like I’m Thalia and Chan is her brother.”

“What, like role-playing?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Y/N said. “That’s step number one.”

But Felix had the impression that this might take most of the night, and since he was more determined than ever to sweep Thalia off her feet, he allowed his brother and Y/N to teach him everything there was to know concerning the complicated art of being a model citizen and a top-tier boyfriend.

But despite the practice, Felix was a ball of nerves as he paced outside of Thalia’s apartment. His mind was focused on too many things at once: Did he look okay? Was he supposed to bring something? What if her step-brother was some kind of wrestler who could beat the hell out of him?

Yet, Felix could’ve never foreseen in his craziest dreams the unforgettable moments proceeding his gentle knock on the door when Thalia answered with someone standing next to her:

“Felix?”

“Changbin!” Felix squealed, and Thalia shot them both a confused look as she stood next to the entrance.

Oh, god, the wrestler would’ve been better!

“Do you two know each other?”

“Yeah,” Changbin said with narrowed eyes. “We do.”

“There’s...some history,” Felix said, and Thalia didn’t seem certain of how to address this sudden development.

“Well, you can come inside,” she said, and Felix flinched when she offered him a chaste kiss because Changbin was eyeballing the fuck out of him and Felix could barely remain standing. “I’m just finishing up in the kitchen! Make yourselves comfortable in the dining room.”

Felix nodded, but he watched her walk away with a feeling of dread. “I can’t say that I saw this coming,” Changbin said. “Tell me, Felix, what are your intentions with my sister?”

“Uhhh...” Felix couldn’t believe that his brain was failing him in that moment, but the shock of seeing Changbin had rendered him nothing more than a blabbering idiot. “She’s really cool.”

“Right,” Changbin snorted, and Felix quickly darted around him in the direction of the dining room because this was not what he rehearsed last night in the dozens of scenarios he practiced with Chan and Y/N.

“I made your favorite, Felix,” Thalia said when she brought out a tray from the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Felix said, and his tone was barely more than a whisper when he caught Changbin’s glare from across the table.

“I’m so glad we could do this,” Thalia said, and she sat down at the head of the table to look between them. “So, you must tell me how you met.”

“College,” Felix said, and he knew that was a vague answer, but Changbin was more than willing to pick up the pieces.

“You remember that girl I dated Freshman year, T?” Changbin asked, and he spooned himself a generous portion of food.

“Of course,” Thalia said and she rolled her eyes while looking in Felix’s direction. “It was so sad, babe. Changbin was dating this girl he liked and another man stole her away!”

“That’s not true!” Felix exclaimed, and Thalia startled at his harsh tone.

“Felix?” she murmured. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Felix said as he held tightly to his fork. “I just remember things a bit differently.”

“I bet you do,” Changbin retorted before turning to Thalia again. “Bang Chan is Felix’s brother.”

Thalia’s eyes immediately widened at the revelation. “Oh, so that means...”

“Yeah,” Changbin growled. “His sister-in-law is Y/N.”

Felix could feel his heart thundering inside his chest, and the table was silent thereafter, but Felix couldn’t help but wonder if this was what Y/N had meant by “worst possible scenario.”

Felix was certain that the universe was playing some sort of practical joke on him, but he never liked being the punchline.

After he left Thalia’s apartment, she called him to apologize for everything that happened. “Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a few days,” she said, and Felix had felt his heart break in half.

But he respected Thalia’s opinion, even if Y/N was growing tired of his dejected behavior as he lazed around on the couch. He had explained everything to Y/N and Chan, and they were both shocked at the revelation of Changbin being Thalia’s step-brother. “What are the chances?” Y/N said. “It must’ve happened after we stopped dating.”

“Well, everything’s ruined,” Felix said, and he didn’t bother to change his poor attitude because he had never felt this sad before over losing another girl.

“You care a lot, Lix,” Chan had tried to explain to him. “You really liked her.”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed, but words weren’t enough to help him.

But actions always spoke louder, and Felix never anticipated seeing Changbin on the other side of the door when Y/N demanded that he greet their unexpected visitor. “Perfect,” Changbin said, and he pushed Felix inside so that he could shut the door.

“Felix, who was it?” Y/N asked, and she paused in the middle of the foyer when she noticed Changbin standing there. “Changbin?!”

“Glad we’re all on the same page,” Changbin said, and he glanced at Y/N for a moment before looking at Felix. “My sister isn’t one of your playthings, Felix.”

“I know,” Felix growled, but he wasn’t able to say anything else because Chan had wandered into the room, and he was immediately confrontational as he sneered down at Changbin.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came to give Felix a warning,” Changbin said. “He needs to stay away from my sister!

“Isn’t that funny? It’s all come full circle right, Seo?” Chan snarled. “I’m married to your ex-girlfriend while my little brother is sleeping with your sister.”

“Well, we’ve only slept together once..” Felix said, but both Changbin and Chan shot him a glare.

“Oh, this is ridiculous,” Y/N intervened. “Changbin, you and I were never going to stay together! And our personal history shouldn’t have any impact on what you think of Felix and Thalia being together.”

“It doesn’t,” Changbin said. “But I remember what Felix was like in college.”

“What? He can’t change?” Y/N retorted.

“He’s too immature!” Changbin insisted, and Felix crossed his arms over his chest because he just about tired of Seo Changbin’s interference.

“Listen to me,” Felix said. “I like your sister a lot, Changbin, and I would never do anything to hurt her! She means more to me than those bad decisions I made in the past, and I’m not about to let you ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”

Felix took a deep breath following his exclamation, and he was proud of himself when Changbin averted his gaze. “I still don’t like it,” Changbin muttered.

“Well, it’s not your decision to make,” Felix said. “I’m coming to meet your sister tomorrow, and she’ll decide where we stand!”

It was a fierce declaration, and Felix had never felt more assured that he was finally doing the right thing.

FROM T:

We can meet in Changbin’s office building.

Felix received the message a few hours after he had sent a heartfelt plea to finally have a chance to speak to Thalia again. He really missed her company, and Felix was determined to fix everything and return their relationship to how it was before the drama with Changbin. And he was willing to meet her on whatever grounds she requested, even if that meant Changbin’s office building.

He arrived early because he was nervous, but Y/N offered him a few words of encouragement while he waited around her desk. Thankfully, Thalia didn’t keep him waiting for long, and she walked down the hallway with a glaring Changbin glued to her side. “Felix,” Changbin said, and he was still looking at Felix like he was the worst person in the world.

“Can Thalia and I talk alone?”

“What gives you the right?”

“Changbin,” Thalia inserted, and she gave her brother a knowing look.

And Felix raised a suggestive eyebrow at Changbin who scoffed and returned to his office while muttering about his misfortunes.

“Thank you for meeting me,” Felix said, and he guided them both to a pair of futons next to the windows.

“Well, I really missed you,” Thalia said, and Felix couldn’t stop his smile after hearing her sincere sentiment.

“The break is really hurting me,” Felix said. “I just want to be with you, Thalia, and I don’t want a past that doesn’t even belong to us get in the way.”

“I know,” Thalia agreed softly, and she finally leaned in to offer him a gentle kiss. “I guess this is our first test as a couple.”

“It won’t always be perfect,” Felix said. “But I feel like I’m willing to endure anything if it means being with you.”

Thalia giggled at his sweet words. “Let’s keep going, then, and see where this takes us.”

“I like the sound of that,” Felix agreed, and their next kiss was far more passionate - a solemn promise that cemented their status and invited a future full of endless possibilities.

#stayverse #skzwriternet #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #felix x oc #skz felix fanfic #lee felix fanfic #lee felix imagine #lee felix scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #mostlycompetent #requested

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songfell-ut · 4 years

Text

I give up, here’s Chapter 17

I should’ve posted this a week ago, but I’ve been like “nuuu it’s cool no one minds a 25,000-word chapter” and yeah here’s only 15k that I finally split off into its own thing. Chapter is here, hi @lostmypotatoes

The Grand Hall lived up to its name: Frisk had never been to the nicer parts of the humans’ castle, but there was no way it could be more amazing than this place, which had a ceiling hundreds of feet tall blanketed with tiny lights, speckled marble columns that reached nearly all the way up, and beautiful murals on the walls showing forests, rivers, even the ocean! Monsters stood in long lines along a central aisle of sparkling white sand, so new that it had obviously been made for the humans’ visit, stretching up a gentle slope to the foot of the grand staircase leading into the Underground.

Queen Toriel had taken Frisk from the house in the Ruins through a snowy town – how did it snow inside the mountain? – and on her first-ever boat ride, which ended all too soon in a place called “Waterfall”; from there, they hurried down to the Grand Hall just in time for the Royal Guard to announce the human delegation. Luckily, instead of having to walk through all those monsters, they used a partly-hidden network of hallways to emerge right at the head of the staircase. Toriel gave the child one more pat, telling her to be good and stay where she was, before the Queen walked out to take her place beside Asgore, nodding to the guards.

Frisk was glad she didn’t have to talk to the King yet; he looked like a bigger, hairier, scarier version of his wife or son, scowling and fidgeting around until Toriel cleared her throat. They stood just in front of Prince Asriel, who noticed the child and gave her a friendly nod before he turned to face the aisle. Frisk crept out far enough to look around the rest of the cavern, wondering why humans talked about the Underground as if it was some kind of filthy mudhole. It was such a beautiful place, with boat rides and snow and twinkling lights…

Something like trumpets sounded, and the Grand Hall’s enormous bronze gates swung open. The monsters all put on their politest expressions as the delegation came through the entrance and headed up the aisle, with the frontmost humans stopping at the bottom of the staircase. “Greetings,” boomed King Asgore, extending his arms and flaring his purple cape out like great wings. “Welcome to the Underground, one and all!”

On cue, the monsters broke into cheers and applause. As the echoes faded, a fussy-looking human stepped forward to give a long speech about greetings and honor and honorable blah blah blah; it was starting to get boring when he was cut short by a cry of “Mama!” and someone rushing past him.

“Chara!” Forgetting her dignity, the Queen of monsters hitched up her robe to run to her estranged daughter. They nearly crashed into each other halfway down the stairs, Toriel’s crown falling askew as the human leapt into her embrace. There was a lot of murmuring and more genuine applause, which swelled into a full ovation as Toriel sank to her knees, holding on as though her child was drowning and her arms were a life preserver.

Asriel had also hurried down to meet his sister, and Asgore was starting toward them when it happened: Chara looked up for the briefest second, and when she saw Frisk near the head of the stairs, the woman’s eyes flashed sheer hatred, as though she wanted her dead on the spot.

Frisk jerked back so hard that she stumbled and nearly fell. When she caught her balance, she found herself looking down at Asgore; he was staring at Chara, and followed the woman’s gaze back up to Frisk. For a long second, the King regarded the human child with a question in his eyes, as though he wanted to say something, but knew better; then Chara was all teary smiles again, hugging Asriel and extending an arm to “Papa!”

The applause grew even louder as Asgore joined them, parents and siblings joyously reunited, and Frisk could have cried with rage. Why did Chara have to hate her for being there when she was lucky enough to have her own perfect family? Couldn’t Frisk have had more than a couple of minutes with those wonderful monsters before Chara stole them back?

It was too much. The child sniffled, and turned to trudge back down the hallway, trying not to think of what her mother was going to say when she found out where Frisk had been.

But as she approached the branching path that led to the Grand Hall floor, she came to a sudden halt: someone further down the hall was shouting, “I’M TELLING YOU, IT IS DEFINITELY THIS WAY!”

“sure, bro,” another person mumbled, his deeper voice echoing up the passage.

“SANS, PLEASE! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE CORRECT DIRECTION THIS TIME! THERE IS NO NEED TO LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE!”

“relax, pap. i’m just impressed you know all these different ways to go.”

The voices weren’t moving—she was trapped up here. Frisk held her breath as the louder person demanded, “REALLY? THEN WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THAT SMIRK?”

“…uh, bro? this is how I always—”

“DON’T LIE TO ME, BROTHER! THE GREAT PAPYRUS KNOWS WHAT A SMIRK LOOKS LIKE! IT’S A REGULAR SMILE, BUT IN THAT TONE OF VOICE!!”

“you got me. it means ‘pap is the coolest and knows all the directions.’ you like it?”

“…I SEE! NYEH-HEH. YES, I DO LIKE IT! FROM NOW ON, YOU MAY SMIRK ALL YOU WANT!”

“aww, thanks, bro. you’re the best…and that’s the tooth.”

The joke was so dumb that Frisk had to laugh. Whoever it was, they sounded friendly enough, not to mention silly. Were they humans she hadn’t talked to on the way here? Or—

“DID YOU HEAR THAT, BROTHER?” She jumped as the voice came closer. “IS SOMEONE THERE? SOMEONE WITH EXTREMELY BAD TASTE?”

“hey! i think they’ve got great taste. i mean, they obviously speak our tongue.”

Frisk laughed again, and was only a little afraid when the strange pair came into view. They were skeletons—not just thin people, but actual, literal bones that walked and talked. One was very tall, dressed in showy red boots and some kind of fake armor, while the other was much shorter, in clothes far too casual for an event like this. Why was he wearing pink slippers?

Both of them were also looking her over. With the tiny little lights in his sockets trained on Frisk, the taller one bent down to whisper to his brother. “OH MY GOD, SANS!” he yelled. “IS THAT A HUMAN?”

The short one stared at her for a moment, then nodded, and somehow closed one socket in a wink. “i dunno, pap. he doesn’t look that monstrous to me. who’re you, kid?”

“My name is F—Kris,” she said, giving them a bow, “and you’re right. I’m a human.”

“OF COURSE I AM RIGHT, HUMAN, FOR I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! HOW PLEASANT FOR YOU TO MEET ME!” The tall skeleton struck a heroic pose. “HAVE NO FEAR! WE MONSTERS HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE AND THEN BECOME FRIENDS! THEREFORE, YOU MAY SIMPLY REFER TO ME AS ‘PAPYRUS,’ EVEN IF IT IS ONLY HALFWAY CORRECT.” He indicated the other skeleton. “THIS IS MY OLDER BROTHER, SANS. DO NOT BE DISTRAUGHT THAT HE IS NOT AS GREAT AS I AM, AND TRY TO BEAR WITH HIS TERRIBLE JOKES, NYEHH.” Nudge. “SANS! SAY SOMETHING THAT IS NOT TERRIBLE!”

Sans was watching her carefully; he looked like he was smiling, but Frisk had the feeling it was just how his face was made. He wasn’t happy to see her at all. “sure,” he said coolly. “the name’s sans. sans the skeleton.” Papyrus nudged him again, and Sans sighed, as if resigning himself to his fate. “yeah, i know what his majesty said.” He put on a wider grin. “welp, nice to meet you, kris.”

Fakeness or not, the monsters she’d met so far were still much better than any humans she knew. So Frisk smiled shyly at him, and whispered, “It’s nice to meet you, too, Sans.”

His smile dropped a little. They regarded each other for a few seconds; to her delight, his mouth rose again in genuine approval. “heh. you seem like a nice kid.” Shrug. “pap’s right. we’re all gonna be pals, so…”

Papyrus looked pleased as Sans took his hand from his jacket pocket. But as Frisk reached out to shake it, Pap’s smile suddenly vanished. “WAAAIT A MOMENT,” the taller brother said suspiciously. “SANS, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT—”

Too late. The moment Frisk grasped the skeleton’s hand, something erupted in a palm-tickling explosion of Pfffffftttttppppppfffffffff…ffffffppp…pppf…pp……p.

Silence.

“OH. MY. GOD,” Papyrus said in the voice of doom, and rounded on his brother. “SANS, YOU IMBECILE! YOU HAVE BROKEN THE HUMAN! LOOK, IT ISN’T MOVING! IT—”

Frisk couldn’t hold it in: she howled with laughter, and only got louder as Sans pulled his hand back to reveal the rubbery, air-filled contraption that had made the rude noise. “what can i say? it’s always funny,” he said proudly. “quite a gas.”

“HOW COULD YOU, BROTHER?! THIS IS A CLEAR VIOLATION OF ACQUAINTANCE ETIQUETTE!” raged Papyrus. “HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO ASCEND THE HEIGHTS OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP NOW THAT YOUR IDIOTIC PRANK HAS DAMAGED THE SMALL HUMAN?!” Papyrus stabbed a gloved finger at Frisk, who was now doubled over. “IF THIS IS HOW YOU ARE GOING TO BEHAVE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME NOW! YES, HOME! YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR ROOM IN CASE WE HAVE HUMAN GUESTS!”

“i dunno, bro,” said Sans, winking at Frisk again. “it’s probably too heavy for me. you should get it instead.”

“NYEHHH! I MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT GET IT!”

“aw, pap, don’t be so hard on yourself. i’m sure if you just try harder—”

“LEAVE!! NOW!!!”

Funny as the brothers were, that seemed harsh to Frisk—the nearest houses had to be pretty far away from the Grand Hall, and making Sans walk all the way back because of a few jokes was a little much. She eyed Papyrus doubtfully, wondering if he was like humans after all.

“it’s fine, kiddo,” Sans told her, as if reading her thoughts. He winked one more time. “don’t worry, i know a shortcut. so, eye will see ya later.”

Before Frisk could react, Sans was…gone. Baffled, she looked around, then up at Papyrus. “HM? OH, YES. SANS HAS DEVELOPED HIS MAGIC EXACTLY ENOUGH TO BE AS LAZY AS POSSIBLE,” the tall skeleton said distastefully. “I CAN ONLY HOPE HE IS ACTUALLY CLEANING HIS ROOM NOW. MORE LIKELY, HE IS—”

There was a sound of clapping and cheering from the Grand Hall. “THAT’S RIGHT!” Papyrus threw his red scarf over his collarbone. “COME ALONG, HUMAN! I SHALL INTRODUCE YOU TO THE OTHER MONSTERS! YOU WILL BE DELIGHTED TO MEET THEM, ESPECIALLY THE ROYAL GUARD, AND THE FEELING WILL BE MUTUAL! NYEH-HEH! FOLLOW ME, NEW ACQUAINTANCE!”

“Um…” Frisk bit her lip. Papyrus was a lot to take in, especially without warning, but he didn’t seem to be faking his enthusiasm, or his kindness. Frisk looked at him, made up her mind, and smiled again. “Can we be friends now?” she asked, holding up her hand.

The skeleton’s cheekbones turned bright pink, somehow, eye sockets going wide and glittery. “REALLY?!? WOWIE! I CAN’T BELIEVE I—” He made a noise like a cough. “I MEAN…O-OF COURSE YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND, KRIS! I AM EXTREMELY GREAT.” Papyrus leaned down a little to take her hand. “COME ALONG! AS A FRIEND OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, YOU SHALL BE KNOWN AND LOVED BY ALL! NYEH-HEH-HEH!”

Frisk sure hoped so, especially if the other monsters were as nice as he was. Even if they weren’t, she’d already made new friends, exactly like she was supposed to. Mama couldn’t be mad at her for that, and Chara couldn’t take them away from her!

The dream with Asriel was a fitting end to a frustrating night. Sans had picked the biggest inn he could find and asked for a room with the biggest bed they had, only to find that it still wasn’t big enough for him. He didn’t want to try sleeping in his disguise, which meant another night stretched out on the floor, longing for the massive bed in the High Priestess’ quarters. He never would have thought he’d want to go back to the humans’ castle—that damn bed had spoiled him for life! Not to mention that when he was sleeping in it, he had Frisk all to himself…

He had just started dozing off when the door to the next room opened and closed, a couple of human voices whispering back and forth. Sans made the mistake of concluding that that was it, and was completely unprepared for the sounds that exploded through the wall a minute later.

Sans was not an expert on human…anything, but he knew was he was hearing, and that he was hearing it very very loudly. At that point, he had several options; after mulling exactly one of them over, he sat up and ran a thread of magic through the lamp fixture over the bed, worming it through the conduits in the wall and into the next room. From there, he could feel the vibrations of the bed moving – ugh – and spread his magic in a thin layer under one side of the mattress; then he twitched his hand, and grinned at the shrieks and thuds of the couple being dumped onto the floor.

Unsurprisingly, he didn’t need to do anything else. The humans got dressed in a hurry, grabbed their things, and left, and did not come back. Sans let his magic dissipate and settled down, feeling a little smug, but mostly annoyed that the sounds were still stuck in his head.

The giant skeleton tossed and turned, dreamed, and got up in the morning a lot later than he intended; he was so unrested, and so disturbed at having seen Asriel – had it been real? Why and how would the Prince visit him of all people? Why now? – that he barely remembered to put his chain back on before he left the room. He forgot to ask directions when he checked out and had to grump his way around town at random, looking for the stables the warehouse lady had mentioned. He had to get the carts and horses, then go to all the stupid places and get the stupid things…

Well, this wasn’t the right way: he was on a street lined with cute little cafes and humans sitting around in fancy metal chairs. He stopped to get his bearings, and nearly swore as his stomach growled. At least there were food stands everywhere…but what the hell was a “crepe”?

A minute later, he found a place to sit down and gnaw on a couple of folded-over, chocolatey things, which were actually pretty good. There wasn’t much to do as he ate but people-watch, which would have been kind of neat if the people in question weren’t humans. They followed the overall pattern he’d observed at the castle, where the men were loud and stupid-looking, while the women were also loud and ranged from scrawny to actually-lumpy to extremely lumpy. Even the ones with nice faces were still too…human, without any soothing voices, or graceful movements, or sweet expressions…

It made him wonder yet again if Frisk’s SOUL was the real reason he’d been so drawn to her; the first time he’d seen it, he was scared shitless, and then he wanted to rip it out for strictly non-romantic purposes. Was it because she’d reminded him so much of Kris? Or would he have just eventually fallen in love with any human who was powerful enough for him, even if she was a gross person on the outside or inside?

…Nope. It was because she was Frisk. Satisfied with that line of introspection, Sans finished the second crepe and tossed the wrappers in a trash can, forgetting that she wasn’t there to yell at him for littering. Time to ask someone for directions to a more useful part of town.

The first person he talked to just shrugged, and the next pointed him the wrong way entirely, but an irate half-hour later, Sans was back on the right track. This street seemed much dingier, with fewer people around; it smelled weird, too, like horse pee and desperation.

Maybe that was why someone had started following him. Sans smiled to himself, wiggling his fingers inside his coat pockets. Should he get further into the back alleyways before he confronted the guy, or—

“Heya.”

Sans glanced to his right. A man in his early twenties was standing by a side street, nodding at him. “C’mon this way,” he said. “Got somethin’ to show you.”

“I don’t think so, pal,” said the disguised boss monster. “Whatever ya want, you’re wastin’ yer time. Don’t have any cash on me.” Without waiting for an answer, he speed-walked further ahead, grinning as he heard a soft whistle behind him.

Sure enough, someone was waiting right around the next corner, an older man in nice clothes. “Excuse me, sir,” he said loudly, “but do you have the time?”

Sans thought of the old woman again and snorted. “Nope,” he replied, and tried to walk around him.

The man quick-stepped back into Sans’ way. “My. Her Eminence doesn’t pay you enough to buy a watch?” he asked innocently.

What the hell? He wasn’t wearing the armband. “Who said anythin’ about—”

The distraction almost worked: the guy made a sudden feint toward him, and if Sans had been any less alert, he’d have backed right into the human sneaking up to grab his neck with a wire loop. Instead, Sans pivoted and slammed an elbow into his would-be assailant so hard that he felt the guy’s ribs crack. The man who’d stopped him cursed under his breath, turning to run.

Almost absent-mindedly, Sans waved a finger in the fleeing human’s direction. There was a shnk of bone erupting from the pavement, and a muffled scream as the man’s ankle was impaled mid-flight. The rest of his body yanked to a stop and hit the ground in a twisted heap.

Footsteps pounded toward them, and Sans turned to face the first guy who’d talked to him, then one other human. They sized up the situation and moved to either side of him, one armed with some kind of club and the other sporting a huge knife.

Sans gave a low laugh as bloodlust started bubbling to the surface. Finally! This was what he’d been waiting for! No more playing cute and harmless! No more letting people do whatever the hell they wanted with him! No witnesses!

Really, the only problem was that it was too easy. Sans let the one with the knife get in close, then grabbed his arm and broke it at the elbow, spinning the would-be assassin around and shoving him into the guy with the club. Both humans hit the ground, but the knife guy was up in a moment, scrabbling for his weapon with his good hand. Sans kicked the knife away, pinned both of his palms to the ground with a couple more bones, and lifted the remaining human by the neck with his magic.

Was that it? He glanced around at the one with the wire loop – on the ground, struggling to breathe – then the guy with the impaled ankle, who seemed to have passed out. The third was staring at his hands and making weird noises – not very knife of him, ha ha – and the last one dangled a few inches off the ground, clawing at the red mist around his throat.

Sans hummed under his breath, surveying the four men with an artistic eye. Well! Where to begin? Might as well start with the one he was holding up. The human windpipe was so fragile that one good crunch would do it…but no one said it’d have to be a quick crunch. Sans began to apply pressure, slow and hard, and grinned as the man’s eyes bulged in terror—

Out of nowhere, he froze mid-squeeze as a strange emotion hit him. It was…nostalgia, and then—guilt? That was it; the longer Sans stared at the captive human, the less he enjoyed the guy’s fear and despair. He knew exactly what it felt like to be trapped by someone stronger, didn’t he? Back in his jail cell, cowering behind a human witch’s barrier, knowing she could do any damn thing she pleased to him—had he looked like this to her?

Sans shook his head in irritation. What was he thinking? That was different! He wasn’t Frisk, and these guys had tried to kill him!

…just like he’d tried to kill her before and after she stopped him from hurting anyone. What had she done to retaliate? Kept him safe, given him her own stupidly oversized bed, let him sleep for over a day, and fed him more in one sitting than he’d eaten in goddamn weeks.

Sans tried again to shake it off, to rationalize that no one in their right mind would hold a psycho like him to Frisk’s standards, but when he looked again at the human in his grasp…

No, dammit! These assholes had attacked him out of nowhere, and he’d defended himself! Surely she wouldn’t expect him to just stand there and get murdered?

…But none of these guys could move under their own power anymore, much less hurt him. Now Sans could see Frisk snarling up at him in all her tiny, furious glory: “If you kill anyone and you cannot look me in the eye to tell me why it was necessary, I don't want you to come back at all!”

Argh! It wasn’t fair! She wasn’t here to stop him—she would never even know! Why should he quit right when it was finally getting good? Couldn’t he at least nick ‘em a few more times, enough to make them sorry? They might be pretty sorry already, but… “But,” Sans mumbled out loud, scowling.

Now he was thinking of Dr. Serif. The boss monster could practically hear his cool, smug voice: “But what, Sans?”

Tch. If he had to be hearing things, he’d much rather it be Frisk. He knew he should’ve taken a shortcut back to the Underground last night. Then he could’ve seen her and…done…something? Maybe he wouldn’t be so damn frustrated now, his mind jumping all over the place…

“Sans.”

Oh, shit. What about the fortune-teller? “Don’t kill anyone.” That guy had been right about stuff so far; would something happen to Frisk if Sans ignored his stupid, cheap advice? For all he knew, it could—

“SANS.”

“What?” he snapped. “Whaddya want, Doc…tor?” He gaped at Dr. Serif, who was standing only a few yards away, arms folded. “The fuck are you doin’ here?” demanded Sans, releasing the human from mid-air and ignoring his wheezing.

Dr. Serif came closer and made two gestures. A skeletal hand popped up and seized the fallen human by the throat, glowing green before vanishing. “He should live,” the royal sorcerer said crisply. He glanced at the man whose hands were affixed to the pavement, and the one up ahead. “In the meantime, do you plan to leave these gentlemen like that?”

Sans was still mad that he couldn’t leave them dead, but… He made a disgusted noise, and the bones all vanished. “Ya gonna tell me why you’re here, or what?”

“What.” Dr. Serif walked past Sans and snapped his fingers. Two pairs of disembodied hands sprang out of thin air, and one latched onto each human’s head; to Sans’ immense discomfort, the hands glowed blue, and each man obediently got up with sluggish, jerky motions – even the one with the shattered ankle – to come sit in a row, legs crossed like schoolchildren. “Why did you attack this man?” Dr. Serif inquired. “Only speak if you have useful information.”

The human with the broken ribs mumbled, “He’s the High Priestess’ agent,” in a voice that made Sans feel even weirder. There was good old-fashioned violence, and there was this. “Gonna hold him for ransom and lure in the skeleton.”

“Do not lie to me.” The humans jerked, eyes going glassy as the blue intensified. “This is not an instrument of live capture,” said the royal sorcerer, retrieving the wire loop with yet another hand. “Why do you, or your employers, want him dead?”

There was a round of silence. Evidently, no one knew, or probably cared. They’d had their orders, and that was that.

Sans stepped closer. “Were you the ones going after Frisk a few weeks ago—the High Priestess? Are you gonna try it again?”

“Wasn’t us,” said one.

“No one’s supposed to kill her anymore,” said another, and his associates nodded slowly.

Dr. Serif blinked a few times. “According to who, and since when?”

“Last week. Someone paid the Assassin’s Guild to blacklist her. She’s untouchable—anyone who goes after her gets a bounty put on his head.”

Sans had never seen the royal sorcerer so taken aback. “I didn’t know that was even possible. It would cost several hundred thou—no, a million dinar to make it worth their while,” he muttered. “Do you have any idea who did it?”

More silence. Meanwhile, Sans was not that surprised to find out there was a formal guild for murderers. Humans were such fucking scumbags.

“Are you affiliated with poachers, then?” was Dr. Serif’s next question.

“Yeah,” they all said at once.

The doctor’s foot tapped a few times. “Does your attack on the priestess’ agent have to do with the timing of his delivery to the Underground? Fewer monsters will be venturing outside if food is being brought directly to them—I assume you wanted to prevent this?”

Sans watched the men’s faces stay blank. That was probably too many words for them. “What’re you gonna do if ya can’t catch any monsters?” he asked instead.

The blue light intensified again, and someone finally mumbled, “Ransom. The High Priestess will pay to get her agent back. She won’t know he’s dead yet.”

Dr. Serif frowned. “And you’re hoping she’ll send the boss monster to rescue him?”

Nods. “It’s worth a hell of a lot of money.”

There was an odd pause. “For his magic?” the doctor asked.

“And ransom. She’s screwin’ it,” one man said tonelessly.

Dr. Serif grabbed Sans’ shoulder to restrain him. “Surely you’re not taking that rumor seriously,” he said. “It can’t be worth the danger of trying to capture such a powerful monster—he was relatively weak when he was first caught, and two men still died of their injuries.”

“Lady payin’ us says it’s true. She doesn’t want Her Eminence arrested for mis…missen—”

“Miscegenation?” growled Sans.

“Yeah. That. She wants us to catch it, but not kill it. We’ll keep it and get a shitload of magic, then sell it back later. Win-win.”

“Hm. So, your employer is a woman who wants to help the High Priestess? What is her name?”

No one answered. The blue light flickered, and one man finally said, “Dunno. We just got a few letters, and payment up front. Pretty sure it’s a rich lady ‘cause of the handwriting and the way the paper smelled, but we don’t know for sure.”

The doctor stared the man down, still holding Sans’ shoulder. “And she has hired you to hold the skeleton prisoner…for how long, exactly? And through what means?”

The human shrugged. “She said she’d tell us more once we killed this guy.”

Dr. Serif thought about it for a moment, then snapped his fingers again. The skeletal hands tightened, and Sans watched the men writhe in tandem and fall sideways like puppets with cut strings. “Well, that was more interesting than expected,” said the royal sorcerer. His hand tightened on Sans’ shoulder. “Come along.”

Sans shut his eyes as magic surged around them. It didn’t have the rushing-through-space feel of his shortcuts; this was more as if the ground had jumped out from beneath their feet and just as quickly hopped back into place. He opened his eyes and started. “Where—”

They were standing outside a large, well-kept stable. The doctor released him, saying, “I must commend you for not killing any of those men. We’ve acquired valuable information, and once they wake up, word will get around that the High Priestess’ agent is not to be trifled with.” He smiled, ever so slightly. “They will not recall I was even there.”

Sans gestured impatiently. “What the fuck was that about? Someone wants human-me dead, but they just wanna borrow real me to keep Frisk outta jail? An’ someone else’s paid out the ass to keep her alive? What’s—”

“It could well be the same person.” The royal sorcerer brushed some dust off his robe. “What is miscegenation?” he asked curtly.

Sans’ toes curled. “Boning a monster. It’s a literal crime. I heard somebody talking about it last night.”

“Interesting,” the doctor said slowly. “No one spreading that rumor in the city seems to know about it yet.” Sigh. “If you overheard it here, I suppose it’s only a matter of time before everyone knows.”

Sans didn’t want to talk about that right now, or ever. “How long were you following me?” he asked instead.

Pause. “Long enough.”

The boss monster didn’t like that, either. “Whatever,” Sans mumbled. “But thanks fer gettin’ all that stuff out of ‘em. You’re pretty freaky, but I guess ya come in handy.”

He heard the familiar sound of someone ignoring a pun, and then “You’re welcome.” Dr. Serif crossed his arms. “I was sent here to intercept you and the High Priestess. Given that I have not seen Her Eminence with you, may I assume you were foolish enough to come alone?”

“Uh…”

“As you were also foolish enough to leave the castle when and how you both did, I am not surprised.”

Sans snorted. “Ya think that was my idea?”

“No, but this almost certainly was.” The royal sorcerer gestured to the smushed roll of papers in Sans’ front pocket. “Come along. There should be three carts on reserve in Frisk’s name here, for when you were supposed to have picked them up on your way to the Underground.”

Sans followed him into the stable. “What, ya didn’t like us bailin’ on you?” he asked, taking childish pleasure in the older skeleton’s annoyance.

The doctor reached back without looking and took the papers from Sans’ pocket. “Hello,” Dr. Serif said cordially to the human behind the counter, who stepped right up to assist them.

This turned out to be prophetic: the doctor not only accompanied him everywhere for the rest of the morning and afternoon, he took complete charge. He made things so much smoother that Sans couldn’t even be mad about it; people listened to him, and he could fully answer their questions while Sans inspected the cargo and supervised the loading. The doctor also signed the bills of lading, reminding Sans after the first visit that as a perfectly normal human and not a monster in disguise, he was not “Sans” and needed to pick a pseudonym already.

They had almost no time to eat lunch or dinner, electing to grab a couple of sandwiches as the drivers brought the carts to the second-to-last warehouse. “So, was it your idea to swoop in on us like this?” Sans asked. “I know it was annoying to wake up and have us gone, but—”

“His Majesty is extremely unamused by his daughter’s behavior,” said the royal sorcerer, in a tone that wiped the smirk off Sans’ face. “To be very honest, I am glad I will not be there when Her Eminence receives this.” He extracted a long, expensive-looking envelope from his robe. “His Majesty assembled the paperwork yesterday for—”

“The adoption thing?” Sans interrupted. “Is it true?”

Dr. Serif made a face. “No matter where I go, the speed of gossip remains constant.” Another sigh. “Whatever you’ve heard is likely true. Should Frisk’s mission prove successful, His Majesty is prepared not only to pardon her theft, but place her directly in the line of succession.”

Sans took a long sip of water, trying and failing to figure that one out. “I thought ya said he was pissed off at her. Why…?”

“Tell me, Sans. Knowing Frisk, do you think she would appreciate being pressured into accepting such a heavy responsibility, especially in anticipation of her little brother’s death? His Majesty knows exactly how she will feel about it.” Dr. Serif paused for a huge bite of his sandwich. “Also, he may personally be unhappy with her actions, but he knows better than anyone that if she can outmaneuver him, then she is worthy of the throne.”

Fuck. “Yeah, when ya put it like that—”

The royal sorcerer glanced at him. “Out of curiosity, when did you learn that the King was her father?”

“Not till we were almost t’the Underground. I kinda found out by accident.”

Dr. Serif half-smiled. “It’s been common knowledge ever since she was brought to St. Brigid’s. And…by any chance, did she ever tell you anything about her mother?”

Sans had to whack himself in the chest as the last wad of his sandwich threatened to get stuck in his windpipe. Why did human bodies use the same damn tube for breathing and eating? “Only that she’s dead,” he rasped. “Why?”

“Wipe your hands, please, and put this somewhere safe until you can give it to her.” Dr. Serif held out the gilt envelope. “It contains copies of all the relevant documents, including an investiture of nobility—she would technically become a duchess first, then Crown Princess upon the death of the King or the Prince.”

Sans scrubbed his hands on his shirt and took the envelope. He was thinking so hard that he almost didn’t notice Frisk’s full name in fancy cursive across the front; then he looked again, and stared at it for a minute, and finally said, “Huh.”

“You don’t seem entirely surprised,” the doctor observed, sounding almost disappointed. “Have you already heard something to that effect?”

“Yeah. I had a long talk with Grillby the other day, and…I wasn’t gonna ask Frisk, but I was kinda wondering, and then she said…” Had the King done the calligraphy himself? “I never did hear her last name. I figured the High Priestess just doesn’t need one.”

“It was not hers to use for most of her life, and I would be very surprised if she chose to do so now, or ever. According to what I have gleaned from Rosa, the name does not have pleasant associations for Frisk—another fact of which the King is very aware.”

“Holy shit.” Sans looked at the envelope again. “He’s callin’ her that ta piss her off?”

“It is technically her legal name and belongs on a document of this importance. So, yes.”

“Shit.” Sans scratched the back of his head, thinking even harder. “So whoever filled out the paperwork for him knows her name, too? Which means everyone is gonna know about it by the time we get back?”

The doctor raised an eyebrow. “You’re coming back with her, then?” He let the question hang in the air, and Sans ignored it till Dr. Serif continued, “You are correct. I am genuinely sorry to leave this with you, but you will have to give her the news before you return, or else she will be completely blindsided. Please don’t do that to her.”

Sans wasn’t going to admit that the thought had already crossed his mind: throw the envelope away, let her enjoy the rest of her time in the Underground, and feign astonishment when they got back – hopefully triumphant – and found out she’d someday have the power to do literally anything she pleased, such as freeing monsters with a single decree.

Except…she was already helping monsters, and had already spent three lonely, stressful years as High Priestess. How much worse would her life be if she became the actual Queen? Would it technically fit that second fortune? Fear stabbed him so hard that he could barely breathe—what if she got surrounded by advisers and hangers-on determined to harass him away from her? There was no telling how long her father and half-brother would be around, and they probably wouldn’t let her keep a pet skeleton around, not to mention a suspiciously bony kid…

Sans couldn’t help it. Dr. Serif eyed him warily as the boss monster snickered again: a fucking crime. It was too perfect.

The carts were ready now. The boss monster tucked the fancy envelope into an inner pocket and resolved to quit thinking about it for now. Frisk could handle this; she’d know what to do. If she didn’t, they’d figure it out together.

Thankfully, the rest of the afternoon was pretty uneventful. By the time they were ready to head back to the Underground, the sun was just touching the horizon.

Everything had fit into three large-ish carts, which Frisk had accurately predicted would be a better idea than two really huge ones. The drivers were nervous about starting so late in the day, but Dr. Serif had implied that they were just headed to the city, the road to which was well-lit and patrolled by watchmen. Sans got a huge kick out of seeing the humans’ faces when the procession reached the outskirts of the village, went about a hundred yards, and came to a sudden halt. “You may remove the horses now,” said the doctor. “Please return to the village. Here is a small gratuity for your trouble.”

If the humans had questions, they were effectively answered by the five-hundred-dinar pieces Dr. Serif placed in each of their hands. They unhitched the horses and jogged them back in the fast-fading light without a backward glance, leaving the loaded carts sitting in the road.

From there, the disguised monsters waited until no one was in sight – not difficult, given the hour and the cold – and then enacted the plan they’d agreed upon earlier: Sans encased the lightest cart in a film of red magic, thought carefully about the place by the river where Undyne had attacked him, and teleported the whole thing there. No more than ten seconds later, a large patch of blackness crept over the pale bedrock; Gaster rose from it head-first, followed by the carts, and everything settled into place as the ground shimmered back into ordinary rock-ness.

“What the crap?” Sans pulled his chain off. “How do you even have that much magic?”

Gaster brushed himself off again with two extra hands, keeping his own tucked beneath his flowing black coat. He glided in a circle around the carts, checking that they had made the journey safely, and nodded. “Surely you’re not worn out from one spell?”

“No, but I’m a damn boss monster!”

The older skeleton smiled. A hand appeared in front of Sans, holding a gray orb slightly bigger than the hole in its palm. “Humans use these to store magic. Keep at least one on your person at all times and let it absorb your ambient power. Put it away when full, then repeat the process. Do so regularly, and you will soon have a supply built up for contingencies exactly like this.” The hand vanished. “Has Her Eminence used the teleportation spell I gave her yet?”

Sans remembered the brooch she’d gotten on All Souls Day, and shook his head. “I don’t think so, but she wears it a lot.”

“Good.” Gaster looked at the nearly-night sky. “Lead the way.”

The boss monster wondered exactly how many more of those stones Gaster had squirreled away in whatever fold of subspace he was using, and contented himself with the fact that the creepy bastard still seemed to be on their side—Sans hadn’t forgotten the fortune about bewaring him, but right now, he didn’t have much choice. Even the lightest of the carts was much heavier than the wagons full of monsters had been, and as tired as he was, he doubted he could’ve pulled or teleported them all on his own.

Gaster’s extra hands were pulling and pushing two of the carts with apparent ease as they followed the river. Sans tried to think of something that would pass the time without leading to invasive questions, and finally thought to ask, “The solar panel demonstration went okay?”

“Oh, yes.” Gaster’s voice was neutral, and it was impossible to read his expression in profile. “Someone attempted to sabotage it by cutting several of the wires on the main panel, so I used my own magic as a substitute. It was most impressive, if I say so myself.”

That sounded like one problem too many. They had enough crap to deal with in the Underground without worrying about sabotage or the King being passive-aggressive or some random lady who wanted to keep him away from Frisk! Get in line, he thought bitterly.

“How is Her Eminence’s mission going?” asked Gaster, as if reading his mind.

“Pretty good, I think. Asgore hasn’t met with her yet, but he’s letting her do whatever.” Sans felt the corners of his mouth lift. “She’s spent a couple nights with Undyne and Alphys at Toriel’s house, havin’ some girl time. They went shopping yesterday, ‘n pro’ly today.”

Gaster nodded. “I don’t know how you intended to do this alone,” he said, glancing at the carts, “but given your accelerated timeline, I suppose it was the best way to let her enjoy herself for a day or two. It will also help her cause if the monsters see a great deal of her firsthand.”

Sans knew what he meant—all Frisk had to do to win them over was be herself. He didn’t notice that he was smiling until he felt Gaster’s stare; the other skeleton was suddenly in front of him, drifting backwards as Sans walked. “Don’t mind me,” murmured the royal sorcerer, examining the boss monster’s sternum.

“What’s my LV?” Sans asked bluntly.

Gaster reappeared beside the cart. “You are at LV 16.”

Sans was…almost surprised. Gaster gave him a hard look. “The first time I checked, you were—”

A sound off to their left made both skeletons stop to listen. It was faint, but unmistakable. “Keep going,” Gaster said, and they picked up the pace, both assuming their disguises.

There was no question of outrunning the humans, so they let the sound of hoofbeats gradually overtake them. “Well, well,” said the first rider, pulling up in front of the carts and forcing them to stop. Two more poachers rode up alongside, and three more brought up the rear. Each man had a coil of chain slung over his shoulder, and their leader carried a heavy crossbow. “What are you doing out here so late?” he demanded. “Where you headed with all that?”

“The Underground,” Dr. Serif said calmly. “We have no monsters or valuables with us, so if you would kindl—”

“Bullshit.” The leader nodded to the other men. “Search ‘em. There’s gotta be—”

Sans didn’t even see what happened next: an unseen force yanked each man out of the saddle to hit the bedrock, filling the air with thumps, whinnying, and curses. “This is your last warning,” said Dr. Serif, still sounding very reasonable. “Leave us, or you will suffer.”

When the men didn’t answer – except for more profanity – the doctor made a gesture. This time, Sans glimpsed the skeletal hands smacking the horses on the rump, one after another; the animals screamed in panic, nearly trampling their riders as they bolted in different directions.

The poachers gaped at each other, then at the human-shaped skeletons. “What the fuck are you?” demanded the leader. With no warning, he whipped up his crossbow to fire at—

—Gaster, whose body had vanished, leaving nothing but an eerie smile and empty sockets. “Well, then,” he murmured, his eyes lighting blue and yellow. He glanced at Sans. “Please go on without me. I will see you back at the castle in…” He paused, counting on a set of hands. “…nine days.” The fingers snapped once, twice, thrice. “My regards to Her Eminence.”

Sans opened his mouth to object, and the ground dropped out from beneath him.

Silence descended in his wake, leaving the poachers in abject terror. Without the carts’ lanterns, it was impossible to see anything but the light in Gaster’s sockets. “Well,” the monster said. He looked at the men with mild curiosity, like a child with a jar full of insects. The leader jerked as a hand suddenly latched onto his face. “Can I trust you to keep this little encounter a secret?” asked Gaster.

The man nodded frantically, clawing at the hand as blood began welling under its phalanges. The others nodded, too, babbling reassurance.

“Good,” the skeleton said pleasantly. The humans had exactly enough time to start hoping before his eye-lights dilated, illuminating the hideous, masklike face. “What a pity that I do not believe you.”

There was a gruesome sound, and another, and another, and another. Silence; a tide of magic rose and swept over the bedrock, leaving nothing behind but a few splashes of blood.

Gaster nodded in satisfaction and turned to rinse his hands in the river, humming Sans’ favorite song. He paused long enough to chuckle to himself, then brushed his coat off once more, extracted a fresh stone from his coat, and vanished.

The sentries outside the Grand Hall’s gates rolled their eyes as another knock came from within. “Any sign of him?” someone asked through the crack.

“No,” the rabbit monster snapped. “For the last time, you don’t need to keep asking every ten minutes! We’ll tell you when he—”

A long, low sound from the opposite direction cut him short. “Sans?” called the guard.

“The one an’ only,” a gruff voice answered over the rise. In the still, cold air, they could now hear the sound of wheels on sandy rock, and the labored breathing of a boss monster managing three heavily laden carts by himself. “Can I get some damn help here?”

Twenty minutes later, Sans had recovered enough to get up from the cavern floor and hobble through the swarm of hungry monsters by the gates, some of whom had been waiting all day for their share of the food. “You guys don’t need to inspect it,” the colossal skeleton informed the guards, who were busy walking around the carts and poking them at random. “Me an’…someone I trust watched ‘em load it up.”

The rabbit guard looked at his partner, then at Sans. “This came from humans, right? It’s probably gotta be—”

“It’s gotta get out to people now,” Sans growled. He pointed at someone randomly. “Go get more help, whoever’s awake. I’m gonna go find Her Majesty.”

“No need,” said a clear voice. The monsters all bowed out of the way as Toriel stepped off the patchy gray sand of the central aisle. “I am glad to see you back safely, Sans. Thank you so much for your efforts,” said the former Queen. “Please, get some sleep. I will handle the rest.”

Sans was so tired that he could barely stay upright, but he shook his head. “I’m gonna check in with Asgore first.” Toriel’s face darkened, and he sighed. “C’mon, To—Your Majesty, ya know he’ll freak out if he finds out this came in without ‘im knowing.”

The other boss monster sighed, closing her eyes. “True. And if you go now, you may run into the Captain and Dr. Alphys. They will also want to know you’ve arrived safely. But after that, I want you go straight home! Do you hear me?”

He did, but sleep could wait: if those two were at Asgore’s house, then Frisk might be, too. His magic flared up, and without another thought, the skeleton took himself straight there.

Remembering how easily the women had detected him before, Sans aimed for the end of the house near the master bedroom, and caught himself with only a slight stagger into the wall. Voices were coming from the living room; the boss monster waited for his vision to clear, then pushed himself upright and crept down the hall to listen.

“It is lovely,” Asgore was murmuring. There was a musical clinking of fine metal and china—the King must be looking at the tea service Frisk had picked out for him.

“Yeah, she was pretty proud of it. Everything she’s brought has been awesome,” agreed Undyne.

Sans scowled. Frisk wasn’t here after all. Well, he didn’t have enough magic to zero in on wherever she was, and Undyne was still talking, so he might as well eavesdrop. “She got me some targets, and comi—uh, battle strategies, and stuff for my scales. It was really thoughtful,” said the Royal Guard Captain.

“And I can finally finish Adventure Lady!” Alphys exclaimed. “C-can you believe it?!”

To Sans’ surprise, Asgore chuckled. He didn’t think the King knew how to do that anymore. “I’m glad to hear it, Doctor. I know how much that was bothering you.” Clink. “What about the agricultural implements Sans mentioned?”

“Yes, Y-Your Majesty. We spent a few hours today looking them over—she knows how to treat plants so that they can go days without being watered! We t-talked about different chemicals that can improve the quality of our soil, specific nutrients for whichever crops we decide to plant first, and all the seeds she brought. The next step is to decide which fields to convert to pasture if we want to raise c-cattle or sheep.”

“Hmm. Yes, that would be wonderful.” Sans heard tea being poured and china clinking again. “What else has she been up to?” asked the King.

“We went shopping for clothes yesterday,” the Captain said, “and Mettaton is teaching her how to dance. It was pretty fun—did you hear he wants to have a big party before she leaves?”

“Yes, I have. Some festivities could be good for our people, but…we’ll see.”

“Right.” She cleared her throat. “And just so you know, Majesty, we’ve spent the past couple nights at the Ruins.”

A long pause. “I…see. Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah,” Undyne said quietly. “Everyone did.”

“That…” Asgore heaved a great sigh. “That’s good to hear. What about today?”

Undyne’s chair creaked. “Today was a little more complicated. She checked on some of the people she brought back—not that she busted in on anyone,” the fish monster added hastily. “She only got started ‘cause Vulkin asked her to come visit.”

Asgore made a startled noise. “Vulkin wanted to see her? Why?”

Sans wanted to run in and shake the King like the idiot he was, but he edged back and tried to think nicer thoughts as Undyne answered, “She said Frisk was the only human who ever gave a crap about them, basically, and her family wanted to meet her. We ended up staying for over an hour.” Another pause. “Also, Majesty…Frisk’s got this thing she does where she can hum something at you, and it’s…really nice. Not hypnosis or anything sneaky, it just…” Sans could almost hear Undyne shrug. “Right before we left, Vulkin started getting worked up, and Frisk calmed her down just like that.”

“She’s done it for us, too, right before bedtime,” said Alphys. “I haven’t s-slept so well in forever.”

“Hm. She has other abilities, then, besides creating barriers?” He poured more tea. “Have you investigated her capabilities in that respect?”

“N-No, Your Majesty. She wanted to have your permission before she made any, even j-just to study them in the lab.”

Sans got the feeling that Asgore was a little put out by Frisk conducting herself so well. “If you believe she is trustworthy,” said the King, “then by all means, study her barriers as fully as you can. The knowledge may prove…useful.” More clinking. “Thank you for your time, both of you. Get some rest. And…” His voice softened. “Please thank her for the gift.”

The giant skeleton smiled a little. Before they could get up and notice him lurking in the hall, Sans used the tiniest wisp of magic – all that he had left – to whisk himself outside to the courtyard. He waited by the tree, foot raised as if in mid-step; when the door opened, Asgore saw him and started. “Sans! You’re back!”

“Hey, Majesty.” Sans raised a genuinely weary hand. “Yeah, I just got in with all the stuff. Everything’s fine. Just wanted to let you know.”

“Thank you very much,” the King said heartily, another trace of his old self showing. “I’ll be down right away.”

“Uh.” The bigger boss monster fake-coughed. “Please don’t, Yer Majesty. Someone’s already got it under control.”

Blink. “Some…oh.”

“Hey, you,” Undyne said, moving around Asgore and hopping down the stairs in one easy bound. “How’d it go? Are you okay?”

“It’s fine, ‘m just worn out.” Sans let out a full-force yawn. “I’ll walk back with you guys,” he said as Alphys came down the steps.

“All right, then,” Asgore murmured. “Thank you again, Sans.” The skeleton nodded, and they politely waited for the door to close before turning to leave.

“Don’t even think about it” was the first thing out of Undyne’s mouth. “She’s asleep already.”

Sans was too tired not to ask, “Where? Tori’s again?”

“I’m not telling you!” snapped the fish-woman. “We had a lot of fun yesterday, but today was pretty rough on her.” She eyed him as they stepped into the elevator and waited for the grating to close. “You don’t look so hot, either.”

“I will be in a minute.” Sans swayed on his feet as the elevator descended. “After all, we’re goin’ to Hotland.”

Undyne twitched. “Nope. We’re not doing those.”

“Aww, c’mon, fish-face.” Yawn. “I’m just gettin’ warmed up.”

Twitch. “I’m serious, boss. Drop it.”

“Drop it like…it’s hot?”

“I SAID—”

The elevator ground to a halt, and he felt Alphys tug on his coat. “L-let’s go to my lab, Sans. You can take a nap and get some magic back befo—not yet!”

Sans had the impression of falling and something grabbing him, but he didn’t pay much attention till Undyne heaved him onto the lab’s concrete floor. “Ow,” he tried to say, but it was too much effort; he decided to pass out instead.

They weren’t heading to the family’s main house; for some reason, Asriel had insisted she come with him to the one in the Ruins, where he and his mother had been living before the delegation arrived. He’d told her that he had a surprise for her, but he was so anxious that she didn’t think it was going to be a good one.

Good or not, she had to admit that when Asriel opened the bedroom door and motioned her inside, she was very surprised: she backpedaled so hard that she crashed into his legs.

“It’s all right,” said Chara, very quietly, from her seat on the bed. “I wouldn’t be glad to see me, either.”

“Chara,” Asriel protested.

“It’s true.” The woman watched Frisk lean into Asriel, clutching his robe with one small hand. “Isn’t it, Frisk?” she added.

The child inhaled sharply, looking up at the Prince in alarm. “It’s all right,” he told her, smiling with such affection that she had to smile back. “I know all about you, Frisk. You’re ten years old, and you’re a girl, and you belong here. In fact, you could say you’ve come home.” He looked at Chara, beaming. “Right, sis?”

Sans must have teleported from the lab at some point – maybe in his sleep – because when he properly awoke, he was in his own room. The boss monster sat up and turned the light on with a speck of magic. A glance at the clock made him do a double take: how was it almost ten o’clock?! Sans sprang to his feet and zipped down to the living room.

No one was there, but he heard children running around outside, with the occasional shriek of happiness, or anger, or possibly disembowelment—he never could tell with kids. There was Papyrus’ voice, and Undyne’s; then he heard Frisk, and without thinking, he took another shortcut out beside the house.

Before San could get his bearings, a handful of snow hit him upside the head. “Morning, boss!” shouted Undyne. “About time!”

“GOOD MORNING, BROTHER!” Papyrus raised his head from beneath a pile of children. “WE ARE AT WAR! WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN US?”

Sans blinked. “War?”

“Yes, indeed,” Frisk said gravely, and he looked up to see her standing on the balcony, not far above his eye level. Magic rippled through him in gentle waves as she smiled. “Is everyone ready?” she asked the monsters.

The giant skeleton came forward for a better view as the children sprang to their feet, or paws, or seahorse tail. Frisk dipped something into a narrow bottle, raised it to her mouth, and leaned over the railing to blow a stream of huge, wobbly, fast-floating bubbles.

In an instant, the kids were charging after them, leaping and clawing and even biting them joyfully out of the air. Frisk dipped the stick again and angled herself toward Papyrus to blow another round of bubbles; instead of popping them, the younger skeleton surrounded each one in blue and sent them flying in all directions, which was Undyne’s cue to materialize a short spear and leap after them, yelling, “Come back here, you cowards!”

When the last bubble had been vanquished, Frisk made even more of them, almost obscuring the pack of children; this time, Papyrus used his magic to grab all the bubbles, and instead of chasing after them, the kids tackled him again. Undyne coordinated the assault, directing her troops to surround the enemy and attack as a unit, ignoring Papyrus’ protests of being muuuurdered and that she could not have his pirate-ship bed once he was dust, because for the hundredth time even if she did have an eyepatch that did not mean she deserved to be a pirate more than him. Then everyone scattered again for Frisk to send another batch the kids’ way, and two more groups for Papyrus to keep away from Undyne.

It was hard to say who was enjoying themselves the most. Sans hadn’t seen his brother playing like this in…how long? Even some of the adult monsters were coming over to watch, standing around and chatting with each other, or asking Frisk how she’d made the bubbles and happily accepting the extra bottles she tossed down for them. It was like she’d never left…

A thought struck him, and he backed further away from the house to crane his neck all the way upward. There it was, the thin brown haze of negative energy that’d been accumulating since he absorbed the last round of it. …But—

Sans had avoided looking too directly at Frisk, and tried to take another quick peek now, only for his eyes to lock onto her. She’d taken off her cloak, revealing one of probably many new outfits: a dark-green velvet dress that accented the curves of her bust and hips, silver earrings that shimmered as she bent down to refill the bottle, and gray boots that reminded him of the fact that she had feet.

And when he finally managed to look back up toward her face, he was ambushed by the sight of a black choker. The damn thing looked like a collar, but it wasn’t even trying to be practical; it was just a little bit of lace hugging her neck, and a flagrant reminder that most things wearing collars had nothing else on. He’d contemplated keeping her as a pet, once upon a time, before he even—

Suddenly, Undyne vaulted onto his shoulder, crashing his nasal ridge into the bottom edge of the balcony. The Royal Guard Captain rapped him on the skull with the butt of her spear, dispelling the last of his lust-induced stupor. “Quit staring, moron,” she hissed, and gestured to Frisk. “C’mon, lady, we need more bad guys to kill,” the fish monster said in a normal tone, raising her voice to finish, “unless Papyrus is too weak to keep going!”

“I AM NOT!” The skeleton stomped his foot in feeble rage, trying to catch his breath as Undyne leapt down. “BUT PERHAPS…PERHAPS WE COULD TAKE A BREAK, FOR THE CHILDREN?” Two small monsters ran circles around him as he desperately added, “THEY SEEM VERY TIRED, NYEH-HEH!”

Frisk bit her lip, and Sans wanted more than ever to scoop her up for a giant hug—not only was it always hot when she did that, it meant she wanted to help Pap without hurting his feelings. Luckily for everyone, his mouth-related thoughts suddenly turned in a more wholesome direction. “Hey,” Sans murmured, catching her attention. “Ya know what you oughta do?”

The others stopped as Frisk leaned down to hear him whisper. “That’s a wonderful idea,” the priestess said warmly, and Sans felt his skull turn red. “Here, Undyne, I want the children to help me try something,” Frisk told her, dipping the wand again. “You two can supervise.”

Papyrus was happy to accept his new role, and Sans also paid close attention to Frisk’s lips as she blew a long, low stream of smaller bubbles. The kids grabbed at them and squealed as a sound followed each pop—to their delight, every bubble now contained a tiny burst of music.

Undyne reached out to poke one. “What, did you whistle into ‘em?” She jumped at the sudden sound, then laughed, popping another one. “That’s so damn cool!”

“Sans thought of it,” Frisk said. She was grinning from ear to ear, almost prancing in place. “Here!” This time, instead of a single pitch, she whistled a scale of several notes, sliding up and back down; when the children popped them, it produced a whole tangle of sounds. The adult monsters drew closer as more bubbles drifted and burst, scattering bits of music through the chilly air.

“Yo!” cried Monster Kid, bounding nearly straight up for emphasis. “Guys! Let’s try to make ‘em into a song again!”

The adults chuckled and shook their heads, but the children loved the idea. And as it turned out, they were right: the sheer futility of trying to break the bubbles in the right order was so much fun that, before they knew it, nearly every monster in the field was chasing after them. No one could hear much of anything over all the shouting and laughter, but that was okay. Everything was okay.

“Sans?”

Still smiling, the giant skeleton turned to face Toriel, noting that she was coming from the ferry and not the Ruins. “What’s all this?” she asked.

“We’re slaughtering our foes in glorious battle,” a cute little bunny said in passing. “It sounds pretty!”

“LIKE THIS, YOUR MAJESTY!” Papyrus demonstrated with a couple of quick jabs.

Toriel’s eyes widened as the sounds made a faint chord. “How wonderful!” She looked in amazement at the crowd of happy, energetic monsters. “You haven’t even received your rations yet—is this an early celebration?”

“Nah, it’s just fun,” Undyne said cheerfully. “People were fighting over who was gonna get what, and the kids were upset, so Frisk showed ‘em how she could make this stuff. Next thing you know—” Quick as scaled lightning, the Captain flicked an energy-toothpick at a bubble overhead, grinning at the resultant chime. “F sharp! Nice.” With a salute to Toriel, Undyne was off again, lifting a couple of random children onto her shoulders.

“How wonderful,” Toriel said again. She sighed, looking fondly up at the balcony. Frisk was starting to puff a bit, but clearly determined to keep going. “What a fine young woman she’s become! It’s almost like having Chara back with us.”

Sans shuffled his slippered feet. He knew it was the highest compliment Toriel could give, but the comparison really rubbed him the wrong way. Not only had he heard a lot of things recently, he couldn’t shake the dream he’d just had—the Prince so eager to have Frisk and Chara back together, and the child trying to be good, but unable to hide her fear and uncertainty…

And speaking of Asriel: “Tell her I’m sorry.” What was that about? Who was—

Suddenly, the dreams clicked together in his mind like puzzle pieces. Asriel had tricked Frisk into meeting with Chara, knowing perfectly well that the poor kid didn’t want to. Was he only sorry for that, or had something else happened afterward, awful enough to make Asriel want to apologize from beyond the friggin’ grave?

Toriel was saying something, and the skeleton shook his head. “Sorry, Tori. What was that?”

She cleared her throat. “I was asking if you’ve met the boy who’s courting her. Frisk said he’s very kind, and wealthy, but…she didn’t seem terribly enthusiastic.”

Sans almost laughed out loud. So much crap was going on that he’d actually forgotten about that guy! “Had some girl talk, huh?” he asked carelessly, shoving his emotions way, way back down and hoping his eyes weren’t glowing.

The goat monster chuckled, still watching the field. “We stayed up the other night to discuss where to distribute all the food you were bringing. Afterward, yes, we did talk about her love life.”

He made an indifferent noise. He was fine. He could do this. “I met the guy once,” he said. “Kinda boring, but I guess he could be worse.”

Toriel nodded. Her ear twitched as a longer, sweeter trill came from above—Frisk was pulling out all the stops, Sans thought proudly. “Were you there when she spoke to the fortune-teller?” she asked.

The skeleton made himself shrug, as if he wasn’t screaming internally. Stupid girl talk! How much had Frisk told her?

Well, the fact that Toriel hadn’t murdered the shit out of him meant she probably didn’t know everything yet. How she was failing to connect the dots between Frisk and Sans’ human love interest was beyond him, but he’d keep playing along for now. “Yeah, I went with her to that festival,” he said. “Pretty weird stuff. Apparently, she’s on track to have a kid soon.”

Toriel grimaced. “I certainly hope not. Frisk is much too young for that kind of responsibility.”

Sans snorted, and Toriel turned to glare at him. “Sorry, but ya haven’t seen her in action,” he said. “The first time I met her, she kept me from killin’ a whole bunch of people, all by herself, an’ she wouldn’t let ‘em kill me back. She got all bloody fixin’ up some kid who came to ‘er for help at two in the morning, she’s payin’ everything for three or four different orphanages that I know of, she keeps tabs on anyone in the whole damn kingdom who might need help, and she’s workin’ on freein’ us, too.” He shook his head. “She’s not a little kid anymore, Tori. She’s got so much crap ta deal with, and she’s been takin’ care of it all on her own. As long as she finds the right guy, it’s…”

He had to stop before he got any more worked up. Luckily, Toriel was too deep in thought to notice. “That does sound impressive, but you’re right. Her happiness depends on whether she can find a good husband, one she can trust to stand by her and care about her children—”

Now they were both grim and silent. “Just a few more,” the human called from above them.

She sounded so breathless that Sans shook his head, reaching up to tap on the railing. “Hey, Frisk? Quit it before ya pass out.”

Toriel listened for a moment, then nodded. Sans watched her stride out to the middle of the field and clap her hands. “Everyone,” she said, “I am glad you’ve enjoyed yourselves, but please return to your homes now. The Royal Guard will be here shortly to deliver your share of the supplies that Frisk arranged for us and Sans brought in last night.” The former Queen nodded benignly in their direction. “Thank you, both of you.”

The giant skeleton was rather embarrassed by the round of applause that followed, though Frisk seemed to take it in stride. Then again, it could be the fact that she was barely conscious. “Time to come in, Pap,” Sans said, jerking his head as the monsters bid each other cheerful farewells and went their separate ways. The children still seemed more excited about the bubbles than the prospect of food—were the poor little bastards just used to being hungry by now?

There was no need to ask Undyne to take care of Frisk: she had already jumped straight onto the balcony and was assisting the human inside. Sans teleported into the living room, where he immediately got in the way of the Captain half-carrying her down to the couch. “’m fine,” Frisk muttered.

Sans leaned over her, scowling. “Ya need your breath, kid. Don’t use it all up next time.” Now that he was closer, he could also see dark circles under her eyes. “How much sleep didja get last night?” he demanded, and looked at Undyne. “Were you guys at Tori’s house?”

“No,” the goat monster said, shutting the door behind her and coming to sit beside Frisk. “Mettaton kept her up so late that she spent the night at the resort.” Toriel’s hand came up, glowing green, and brushed Frisk’s cheek. “If you had stayed with me, child, I’d have made sure you rested properly.”

The priestess rubbed some feeling back into her lips. “I beg to differ,” she said a moment later. “Remember how afraid I was to fall asleep that second night? Undyne was already mad because I caught her cheating at cards—”

The Captain swelled like a pufferfish. “For the last time, I didn’t frickin’ cheat! My 6 got stuck behind my queen, and I didn’t know it was there when you asked for it!”

“Mmmm-hm.” Frisk let her head fall against Toriel’s shoulder as the goat monster stroked her hair. Sans had to look away, more irritated than ever—how stupid was it to be jealous of someone mothering her? Especially considering what she’d had for an actual mom…

“Anyway,” said Undyne. She glanced at Sans, saw his expression, and whacked him again to get his attention. “You know what your damn human did to me?” Frisk smirked as Undyne pantomimed writing huge letters across her own face. “GO FISH. Is that the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard, or what?”

Sans snickered. “What? She was probably just being supportive. You know, ‘go—”

Frisk and Toriel dissolved into laughter as the Captain smacked her forehead with one webbed hand. “Argh! That’s the same dumb thing she said!”

“It’s all right,” the human said, in what Sans gleefully recognized as her pre-pun voice. “I guess our humor is just that sofishticated.”

“NOOOOO,” moaned Papyrus, who had just come inside. “NOT YOU, TOO, NYEHH!”

“What’s wrong?” asked Sans, winking at Toriel as she covered her face with one hand. “Are you mad enough to krill someone?”

“SO HELP ME, YOU TWO, I WILL LEAVE THIS HOUSE AND NEVER—”

“But it’s so nice to sea you,” Frisk said, and Sans snorted so hard that he had to sit down before he fell over. Toriel was giggling uncontrollably, clutching her sides; Undyne just shook her head and retreated into the storage room behind the kitchen cabinet.

Papyrus looked mollified. “YES, I KNOW. BUT I—” He stopped, and they nearly died as they watched it hit him. “GRAAAAH! IF HER MAJESTY WAS NOT HERE, I’D—”

“It’s all right, Papyrus,” Toriel said behind her hand. “I know I can trust you to control your temper.” Papyrus nodded, and the goat monster added, “You’ve always been a pacifisht!”

Undyne poked her head into the kitchen, raising her voice over the din: “Pap! Get away from those nerds and come help me! We need to make room for your stuff when it gets here.”

The younger skeleton sighed dramatically, even for him. “NYEH-HEH! I SUPPOSE I MAY AS WELL. AT LEAST SOMEONE AROUND HERE WILL BE DOING SOMETHING USEFUL!”

“Thank you. You’re the least shellfish person we know,” squeaked Frisk, at which Papyrus made an incoherent sound and stormed off into the kitchen.

Sans was pounding the floor, the women nearly sobbing. “Children—children, please,” Toriel said weakly, wiping her eyes. “Really, it’s time to calm down now.” A long pause… “We can’t keep kraken up like this!”

“Oh my God, they’re gonna kill themselves,” Undyne grumbled from the storage room. They had closed the cabinet door, but it wasn’t soundproof enough. “Let’s move some of this stuff to the shed, and…hey, what’s this?” She picked up a heavy package lying in the back corner. “Huh. Looks like one of Frisk’s. Pap, go ask—”

“SANS! POSSIBLY FRISK!” Papyrus charged into the living room, hoisting the box over his head and nearly tripping over his brother. “IS THIS A FORGOTTEN PUZZLE?! MAY I OPEN IT TO KEEP IT COMPANY?”

“Oh!” Frisk gave a last snrk and accepted a clean handkerchief from Toriel to wipe her face. “Actually, Papyrus, that one is for Sans.”

“Wha?” The giant skeleton sat up and quirked a brow at her. “What’re you talkin’ about? I was with ya when we bought all this crap, and I don’t remember you gettin’ me anything.”

“That’s because you weren’t paying attention,” the priestess retorted.

…She had a point. There had been quite a few times when they were in a shop and he was so bored that she could’ve been plotting the death of all monsterkind without him noticing.

“SURPRISE PUZZLES ARE THE BEST KIND! OPEN IT ALREADY!” urged Papyrus, shoving the gift at his brother’s face.

“Yeah, boss,” Undyne said from the kitchen. “Don’t be so damn shy.”

“I’m not bein’ shy! I just…I wasn’t expectin’ it.” Scowling, Sans grabbed the package and dug his phalanges into the lid. One good rip would get this over w—

“Sans!” Frisk’s voice made him hunch his shoulders like a guilty kid. “If you tear it open like that and break something, I will end you! Do you understand?”

The others watched the colossal skeleton set the package down gently, unwrapping the paper and moving it aside as though it was made of glass. Toriel and Undyne exchanged disbelieving glances as Sans located the box’s tucked-in corners, eased them loose, and picked at the ribbons tying it shut.

But a moment later, as he removed the last layers of tissue paper, their amusement faded into gasps and murmurs. Inside the box lay a chessboard gleaming in white marble and flawless onyx, each of the pieces individually wrapped and set in neat rows.

Undyne chose one at random and peeled the paper away to reveal a knight astride a black pegasus, wings spread and hooves ready to strike. “Whoa!” She picked another, this one a rook carved in the shape of a ruined tower, complete with crumbling bricks and a few tiny bird’s nests in the windows. “Where’d you find this?! Are you gonna teach him how to play?”

“We did most nights back at the castle.” Frisk shrugged. “He beat me every time.”

“Incredible,” murmured Toriel. She took the knight and held it up to examine the sculpting of its plumelike tail. “Humans have such an amazing capacity for beauty. I never could understand…” The goat monster sighed, handing the piece back. “What do you think, Sans?”

Sans couldn’t answer. He’d calmed down a lot after all the fish puns, and he would have been fine just hanging out with everyone until the Royal Guard came by. He hadn’t known Frisk was going to give him anything, much less something beautiful and thoughtful and completely perfect—like her, dammit. How was he supposed to stop feeling all these feelings when she kept doing things?

The pause became more and more uncomfortable as he glowered at the chessboard, heat building around his SOUL until he wanted more than ever to just rip his clothes off right there. “PSST! BROTHER!” Papyrus nudged him. “YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY, ‘THANK YOU FOR THE MAGNIFICENT PUZZLE, NYEH-HEH! I SHOULD ASK THE GREAT PAPYRUS TO PLAY IT WITH ME, AND WEEP GENTLY WHEN I LOSE!’”

Sans fidgeted, and Frisk looked expectant. “This’s…ya know, ya didn’t hafta waste a bunch more money on somethin’ we—” His head snapped up, startling everyone. “Hey, there’s the Royal Guard! They probably need help, right? Let’s go help!”

“SANS,” Papyrus began, and huffed as his brother disappeared. “THAT’S NOT WHAT I TOLD HIM TO SAY AT ALL! HOW DID HE GET IT SO VERY WRONG?”

Sans was not surprised by the others’ reactions when they joined him a few minutes later at the cart by the town Christmas tree. He could only imagine what they’d been saying, though the glare Undyne was giving him made her opinion pretty clear.

“Good day,” Toriel said to the cat monster holding the supply list, ignoring Sans entirely. The cart had just come through Waterfall, the sacks and crates patterned with condensation that was already freezing into ice crystals. “I have a very selfish request,” the former Queen continued. “As you know, I was awake for the entire night, and I am extremely weary. I would like to bring my share home with me now, unless of course you need me to—”

“You were up the whole night, Lady Toriel?” Frisk repeated, one hand on the side of the cart. She frowned, then rounded on Sans so fast that he flinched. “You want to be helpful, don’t you? Then you can take her and her things back to the Ruins!” An imperious gesture at the three guards. “The list, please,” she ordered in her High Priestess voice.

The cat-lady handed it over, bemused. The tiny human ran her finger down the page, nodded, and turned to the cart. “It should all in that crate, there, and that stack of—look where I’m pointing! Yes, that one, and those over there. No, don’t put it—”

Sans obeyed her as fast as he could, setting the boxes neatly beside Toriel. Frisk checked them over again, then handed the list back to the feline guard. “That should be correct, but if you find any discrepancies, let me know. Has everything gone according to plan so far? No thefts or serious disputes?”

“No, milady,” the guard replied. “We should be finished by this evening at the latest.”

Frisk smiled. “Excellent work. Please keep it up.”

The Royal Guard all saluted. Toriel’s eyebrows were raised, and Sans wished she’d look at him so he could mouth Told you so. “Good job, guys,” said Undyne, not bothering to hide her grin. “It looks like you’ve got this under control, so Frisk and I are gonna go see Alphys now. You coming, Pap?”

“HMM.” He glanced from her to his brother and crossed his arms, clearly torn. “SHOULDN’T I STAY AND HELP PUT OUR FOOD AWAY?”

“Oh, but Sans wants to help so much, we shouldn’t take that from him.” Undyne looked daggers – spears? – at the giant skeleton. “He can come right back here and do it after he drops off Her Majesty. Right?”

Dammit. “Right,” grunted Sans.

Frisk was already starting to turn away. He cast around for an excuse to talk to her again, and said, “Hey.” She glanced at him as he rummaged in his inner pockets. “Ya want those invoices back?”

The priestess frowned at him. He hated it when she did that, especially when he deserved it. “I suppose it could be useful when I talk to His Majesty.” She started to extend a hand, and her eyes widened. “That’s right,” she said to the guards. “Did you give him my note?”

“Yes.” The dragon guard cleared his throat. “He said no.”

“What R02 meant to say,” the cat monster, “is that King Asgore regrets he will not be available to speak with anyone today.”

“But he does want to talk to Sans,” the rabbit said helpfully, “and Dr. Alphys.”

“I see,” Frisk murmured. “Thank you.” As Undyne glared at R01, the human stepped back, pulling her cloak around her. “You’d better keep them to show His Majesty, then.”

Sans shrugged, rolled the papers back up, and opened his coat wider to find exactly where they’d been. All he could think about was reaching over to tug down her choker where it was riding too high on her throat; he forgot what else was in his pockets till he noticed her staring at something inside his coat. His SOUL tingled in alarm: the King’s golden envelope was sticking up partway, with the letters FRISK D showing. “Sans? What is that?”

“…Uh.” Fuck. It was too late to disappear again. He glanced around at everyone listening, and at Frisk, who was already unhappy because of him. Was this really the time to tell her what her father was planning, and that the humans all knew her name now? “It’s…I-I’ll show ya later, I promise. There’s a bunch of stuff we’ve gotta talk about.”

Her frown deepened. “Agreed.” Just like that, Frisk turned to smile at Papyrus. “Shall we?”

“CERTAINLY!” He gallantly held his arm out to her, neither of them noticing how Sans’ socket twitched.

Before the bigger skeleton could say something stupid, a touch on his radius made him spin around. “If you could take me home now, I would greatly appreciate it,” Toriel said quietly.

“Sure.” He gave Frisk one last glance. “Have fun, guys.”

Undyne made another face at him, and Papyrus waved. “GOODBYE, SANS! HAVE FUN! PLEASE BE USEFUL TO HER MAJESTY AND NOT RUN OFF AGAIN BECAUSE YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY INCOMPETENT!”

Sans twitched again, and Frisk smirked. “Have a good rest, Lady Toriel,” she said over her shoulder.

“Enjoy yourselves,” Toriel replied cheerfully. But the moment the trio was out of sight, the goat monster’s smile vanished. “Back to the Ruins, please,” she said coolly.

Sans had a headache already. “Yes’m,” he mumbled. At least all this inner turmoil meant he was generating plenty of magic: she laid a hand on his arm, he made a swiping gesture at the crates, and they were all standing in the entryway of Toriel’s house, easy as butterscotch-cinnamon pie.

“I wish I could do that,” the goat monster commented, not for the first time. “Can you bring those to the kitchen for me?” She strode ahead, briskly opening cabinets and moving things aside to make room. “Also, please tell me what the matter is.”

Sans grunted, twitching a finger to waft the crates over. “Do me a favor, Tori, and gimme a check. You can probably see it for yerself.”

Toriel obligingly turned and squinted at his SOUL. “Good heavens,” she said after a moment, and looked up at him. “Sans, what in the world…?”

If it looked half as turbulent as it felt, then it was probably pretty scary. “I wasn’t kiddin’ the other night,” he muttered.

“I…didn’t think you were. Still…” She rubbed her eyes, swaying a little with sheer tiredness. “I did want to ask you something. I heard you telling the guards last night that you inspected the carts alongside someone you trusted. By any chance, was that…?”

Well, there was a convenient misunderstanding if he’d ever heard one. “Was that what? Someone I’m totally nuts about an’ hafta stay away from because she’s a human, and just friggin’ deal with it?” He rapped on his chest. “Does it look like I’m dealin’ with it?”

“No, you are not.” Toriel crossed her arms at the waist. “Sans. I know this must be difficult for you, but—”

“Let’s play pretend for a minute,” he said conversationally. “Imagine I came up to you sometime real soon with a human an’ said, ‘Here ya go, meet the wife.’” Just saying the word made his SOUL ache further. “What would you do?”

Her eyes narrowed to golden slits. “It would depend,” Toriel said with deceptive calmness, “whether you would prefer I be kind, or truthful. Do you want my blessing to try and find happiness for a few short years, and to be even more alone in the world once she d—”

That did it. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Tori! Ya think I don’t know how screwed I am?” Sans snarled, and her mouth fell open. “I didn’t tell you about this so you could give me a kick in the goddamn teeth! I told ya ‘cause I wanted to talk with somebody who might have some idea what I’m goin’ through! If that’s too much to ask, just fuckin’ forget about it!”

“I am sorry, Sans! I truly am!” There was a puff of smoke as Toriel threw her hands up. “If you could marry a human, I would be the first to congratulate you! But as things are…” Her face contorted. “What does my opinion even matter? You know that I have no power here, no matter how many people keep calling me ‘Majesty’! I can do nothing to help you!”

“You could still be my goddamn friend! That’s all I wanted!” He kicked at nothing. “But no, yer so worried about botherin’ little ol’ Gorey that—”

Whump.

Sans stared at the scorch mark at his feet, a smoking, blackened ring on the tiles. Then he looked at Toriel, whose hand was still aimed at the floor, her chest heaving as though she’d run the entire length of the Underground. “Do not. Talk to me. About. Asgore,” she said through gritted fangs. “That wretched man has already cost me my entire family! Do you think I enjoy catering to his paranoia and living in fear that someone else I care for will be banished, or die? What do you think he would do if you were to wed a human? What would happen to you, and to her? If Asgore decided you were truly a threat—”

He could feel his eyes burning, and didn’t trust himself to say anything. Toriel gulped. “It is not safe for you to marry a human, Sans. It is not safe for any human down here! You’ve seen it for yourself! Frisk is the only one he will even tolerate, and he could still…” Another shake of her head, ears flapping against her cheeks. “You know Asgore. All he has to do is ignore her until she leaves. It would be so easy, wouldn’t it?” The goat-woman buried her face in her hands. “Those damned men would just shrug and say that she failed in her mission, and I would never see her again! I can’t lose anyone else, Sans! I can’t—”

The skeleton’s anger subsided as he watched the former Queen’s shoulders rise and fall. He took a couple of steps toward her, sliding his hands into his pockets. “What happened with Chara?” he asked quietly. “Why wouldn’t he let her come back?”

Toriel’s fingers curled, claws digging into her muzzle. “It wasn’t her fault,” she muttered, eyes hard and dry. “He said he didn’t blame her, but he still agreed to send her away. And when that bastard human would not marry her as he promised, Chara needed us—she needed her family! But Asgore said she was lying, and he sent her away again! I didn’t see my little girl for ten years, Sans! And then—”

Sans stayed silent. Toriel let her arms fall, and slid down against the cabinet until she was slumped on the kitchen floor. “I got her back, and it was too late. She hated us both,” she said dully. “She died hating me, Sans. And she was right. I couldn’t protect her from Asgore, and when the accident happened, I could not protect her or Asriel. I was right there, and I could do nothing! All I did was send the humans away, and he even begrudged me that!” The goat monster gripped her robe, nearly puncturing the fabric. “Now my only friend comes to me for a sympathetic ear, and what do I do? I sneer at him for confiding in me and complain about my troubles!” She scrubbed her eyes with her sleeve. “I’m completely useless, as always.”

“Don’t say that, Tori! Remember that one little thing where ya kept the humans from declarin’ war on us an’ sealing the whole damn Underground? Besides…” Sans shuddered as something else came to him. “For all we know, he woulda had Kris killed, too.” He crouched to her eye level. “You saved Frisk’s life, Tori. Are you sayin’ that wasn’t worth somethin’?”

She swallowed again. “I…I don’t—”

“An’ she grew up to be High Priestess, and she saved my life when I got caught. If it wasn’t for you, she’d be dead, and I’d be dead or worse.” He shook his head. “If she was dead, we wouldn’t be gettin’ any food deliveries, or monsters comin’ home, or random bubble parties—” Despite himself, he chuckled. “Or fish puns—”

Toriel managed a smile. “That was fun, wasn’t it? Poor Papyrus.” She gave a long, deep sigh. “I may have saved her life, but as far as I am concerned, you are the reason she has come back to us. Thank you, Sans.” The goat monster got to her feet and wiped her eyes again on her sleeve. “I…I still don’t know what to tell you about your human. I haven’t even asked you her name, what she is like, how far your relationship has progressed—may I assume you intend to keep courting her?”

“Uh…” Sans ducked his head, scuffing his slipper over the burned floor tiles. “Tell you the truth, she’s kinda the one courtin’ me.”

“Sans!” the goat monster scolded him. “You’ve found a woman with enough magic, strength of mind, and good taste to fall in love with you, and you’re letting her do all the work?”

The skeleton scratched his neck vertebrae. “…Yeah?”

Toriel gave him one of her squinty, pursed-mouth glares, and he held up his hands. “I know, I know! It’s just…there’s all this stuff, but it’s her, an’ I never met a her before, an’ I—”

“All right, all right.” Toriel sighed again. “I still wish you would change your mind, but I understand that it’s not so simple.” She couldn’t conceal a yawn. “We can talk more when I’ve had some rest. I promise.” To his surprise, she took his hand and gave it a good squeeze. “In the meantime, go and help the Royal Guards, and then apologize to Frisk. That was the most lovely gift imaginable, and you behaved as though she’d handed you a steaming pile of—”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sans lifted one shoulder. “Okay, Ma, I promise I’ll be good. Go get some sleep.”

“Yes, dear. And, Sans—” She gave him a look he couldn’t interpret. “I hate to be intrusive, but…if everyone is gathered again this evening, could I please join you? If it’s all right with the others?”

Sans made a rude noise. “Of course I’ll come ‘n get you. We’re almost halfway through her offishal visit.”

Toriel laughed. “Well, water you still doing here? Go on!”

He chucked, raising a hand. “‘Kay. See ya, Toriel.”

“Thank you, Sans.” She swatted at him playfully, letting him dodge out of the way. “Now, shoo!”

#songfell #why am i like this for reals

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dontasktheradiodemon · 4 years

Text

Chat Log, Sept 28-ish - New York

Remember when Valera, Sir P, and Alastor went to a Broadway show? Sure you do, here’s the link. Anyway after that they hung out in New York. Like a bunch of frigging tourists, doing normal tourist things. Seeing Time Square. Checking out a local club. Singing musical numbers in the subway. Normal tourist things.

Valera

Wheeling Pentious out of the theatre is a simple matter, especially when he's too busy being.. Well. Probably horny, judging by his face, to kick up a fuss. With record, beau, and a murderous demon in tow, Valera exits the building, and the three of them are left blinking in the afternoon sun over 1960s New York City. Where to even begin?

Sir Pentious

The fresh(?) air hitting his face was definitely helping already. Sir Pentious is no longer biting his glove, having sat back in his seat, squinting up at the skyscrapers. Hmm. What to do with themselves now. He clears his throat, looking to the Radio Demon, "WERE YOU GOING TO TAKE US TO ONE OF YOUR HOT SPOTS, ALASTOR?"

Alastor

Give him a moment. It's been almost a century since he's been to New York City. About forty years from this particular New York City's temporal perspective, but for HIM, almost a century. The moment he steps outside, he's completely distracted by the street and buildings outside the theater, looking up and up. He'd forgotten what blue skies look like. "... What?"

Valera

Valera cocks her head, looking mAlastor up and down. Oh. "Nothing, dear fellow. Take a second, breathe in the air, the sights, the sounds. Let your memories come back. We've got all the time in the world to see the sights." She comes around to crouch in front of Pentious, fussing over his blanket as a cover for squeezing his hands. Plus a little forehead smooch, to distract him.

Sir Pentious

Oh, that was true, wasn't it. He had gotten so distracted with his red facedness that he'd somehow forgotten about the blue sky. That's why everything looked wrong to him. It was like Pentagram City was no longer bathed in blood red hues. It hurt his eyes, too. Still, seeing the Radio demon look so... well. Pentious couldn't think of a word to describe it. Soft and gentle words did not suit Alastor, not at all. The victorian gentleman's eyes squeeze shut at the forehead smooch, and his attention is brought solely on Valera once more. Well, he can give her actual eye contact now and... he risks a little smile, brow creased. "Hello," he whispers.

Alastor

No, such words don't suit him, but for a split second they're almost fitting. But he shakes himself out of it quickly. He's playing host to these two right now, he can't get distracted! He spins to face the two of them. "I just need a moment to orient myself! Can't see a street sign, there's so many theaters around I'm not even sure which one we've just come out of—do you happen to know which way Times Square is from here?"

Valera

She offers Pentious a soft smile in turn, smoothing the hand not holding his over his cheek. So pale, so fair. She could almost see the individual veins under his skin. He looked... Delicate? Delicate, like this. "Hello, dearest." A last bump, nose to nose, and she rights herself to turn to Alastor. "If we go southwest we can reach it in five, my good man! Hang a right and just go straight down 52nd!"

Sir Pentious

He breathes her in--how could he not? That would have to carry him through the rest of the evening, but Pentious is looking much more relaxed now. He's got a very bright smile on his face as he looks up at the two of them. Hmmm! These buildings were very tall, taller than they would have been when he would have been alive back in the late 80s. Not that he was in America, but still! Ever higher, theyd be able to reach a passing blimp!

Alastor

"52nd! Why, not far at all!" He slides his Record That Has Been Officially Autographed "Best Wishes To Alastor From Louis Armstrong" into another dimension, summons up his microphone cane—and if any passersby see these minor magics, that's THEIR problem—and points the way. "What sad excuses for tourists would we be if we didn't start off with Times Square? Onward!"

Valera

They could never live with themselves if they were stuck with the label of sad tourists, now could they? No, never them! If they're going to see the sights, they're going to do it well! Valera tucks their own record into the pocket attached to Pentious' wheelchair, moves behind, and trots after Alastor with Pentious in tow. Sure, he COULD push himself, but this is the perfect angle to dip down and give his hat a little smooch from. You can't take that from her.

Sir Pentious

He's not going to complain, he'd rather it be her behind him than Alastor. Pentious was trying to adjust to not having eyes all over himself, although if that counts as one of his abilities, he wonders if he could just grow eyes. Hmm. Pentious is marveling at the sheer size of the buildings, and the various machines driving around. Look at that! Getting excited over cars like some kind of TOURIST. "LOOK AT THAT ONE," he's gesturing at what appears to be a classic Dodge. Seats two, has space in the back, and top down! What a bright red. Pentious' eyes are SHINING. "I COULD MAKE MULTIPLE IMPROVEMENTS UPON IT!"

Alastor

They barely hit Broadway before Alastor recognizes his surroundings. If his heart was still beating, it would be trying to thump its way out of his chest. Sure, a few buildings replaced, billboards and signs trying to cover up the familiar facades, all the clothing and cars updated, yes—but he knows exactly where he is. It's hardly changed at all. He could walk from here to his old apartment with his eyes closed. And, in the process, run into a thousand people and get hit by a dozen taxis, but whatever. "Oh, I'm sure you could!" He drops back to walk alongside Sir Pentious and Valera—they're going to be walking in a straight line for several blocks, he doesn't need to lead the way—and claps a hand on Sir Pentious's shoulder. "I've always loved your cars, you know." It does not occur to him to stop and wonder whether this Sir Pentious also designed cars postmortem the way his own did.

Valera

Valera can appreciate the look of a classic car, even if her first few experiences with the four wheeled machines of anxiety-torture were, in a word, terrifying. Nicer from a distance, suffice to say. Seeing Pentious so excited was a surprise. Pleasant, but a surprise. Then Alastor, too! It was impossible to be anything but sunny with both her guests in such high spirits. All three of them, grinning away like fools as they stroll along. What a sight they must be. And come to think of it.. "When were cars invented?" More musing aloud than a true question, but she voices it anyway.

Sir Pentious

There's a hand on his shoulder, and Pentious looks up, closing his eyes as he puffs his chest out. "OHO, YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT! YES, I DIDN'T KEEP AT IT AFTER A CERTAIN POINT, BUT THE TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES IN HELL WERE EVEN WORSE THAN IN THE LIVING WORLD. I FIGURED BETTER TRANSPORTATION WAS A NECESSITY. A DESIRE TO IMPROVE MODES OF TRANSPORTATION WAS HOW I GOT INTO THE WHOLE AIRSHIP IDEA, YOU KNOW. IT WAS ONLY FITTING THAT I'D BE DOING IT AGAIN IN HELL." He's still beaming with pride, "I WAS APPROACHED BY THE MAGNE FAMILY, ACTUALLY. IN LETTERS, MIND, BUT APPARENTLY MY ENTRY INTO HELL, WITH THE EXPLOSIONS AND FIRE AND FLYING AROUND, THAT CAUGHT THEIR ATTENTION AND THEY WANTED ME TO BUILD SOME THINGS AROUND.... IMPROVE UPON THE GENERAL ARCHITECTURE OF THE PLACE! EVERYTHING WAS RUBBISH. I INITIALLY THOUGHT TO SAY NO, BUT HE WAS LUCIFER. HA! IF ONLY MY MOTHER HAD SEEN THAT, SHE WOULD HAVE DISOWNED ME AND HAD ME COMMITTED, HAD I NOT BEEN DEAD ALREADY." He's really just excitedly yammering on. It's like listening to one's exceptionally English grandmother talk about meeting the Queen. He pauses, to tap the side of his head, "INVENTED? OH, RIGHT, RIGHT. WELL, IN THE LATE 80s, MY LOVE. BUT PEOPLE WERE ALREADY THINKING ABOUT MAKING SOMETHING LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE, EVER SINCE THE STEAM LOCOMOTIVE'S SUCCESS, IT, IT REALLY DIDN'T TAKE LONG AT ALL. THOUGH TO ME, THAT WAS EASY. IF I'D TOLD YOU THAT I'D DESIGNED THE FIRST CAR, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME, SO I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU!"

Alastor

Alastor nods along as he listens, unconsciously tilting his cane in Sir Pentious's direction as though he's presenting a microphone toward an interviewee. He's heard most of this explanation before, years and years ago—but the details vary slightly, just enough to be intriguing. What he wouldn't give for two biographies of Sir Pentious from two different universes, laid out side-by-side for him to compare them. "Approached by the Magne family?! Now, there's an honor! As infamous as I am, even I've never been contacted by the royal family. I had to go and introduce myself to the princess." Alastor actually wouldn't have guessed the late eighties. "I don't think I knew a single person who owned a car until I was well into my teens. They were luxuries before then."

Valera

Valera hums, focusing on rolling Pentious through the crowds more than the actual conversation at hand. Still what she does pick up at least SOUNDS impressive. Lucifer was part of the Mange family. So... Charlie Magne. Oh, that's funny. Right. Plus being approached by the king of hell to improve the infrastructure of an entire kingdom, plus allegedly inventing the modern deathtrap that is a car. That's also impressive, yes. "I don't see why I wouldn't, you've certainly got the technical know-how to build any car you please. In fact, knowing they were built while you were alive, I'd be surprised if you didn't at least have some prototypes in the works before you died!" Mwah, another dip down to reach over one side and peck his cheek. Good work, Penny.

Sir Pentious

Oh he's being praised from both sides, he's going to bask in this for quite some time. "I NEVER FORMALLY DROVE ONE AROUND TOWN UNTIL AFTER I'D DIED. IT WAS MORE REASONABLE TO STAY OUT IN THE COUNTRYSIDE, UNLESS I WERE GOING TO MAKE A STATEMENT IN MY VESSEL."

Alastor

"Of course! You figured out how to get a steamer out of the ocean and into the SKY—who am I to question it if you say you got a train off its tracks too?" The praise train won't stop chugging. "I mainly rode them out in the countryside, too. Having them in cities just seems..." He gestures at the cars clogging Broadway and preventing each other from getting anywhere.

Valera

She coughs, a bit embarrassed. "I don't have much experience with cars, personally. Mostly riding in them and being incredibly confused about why I had to sit in the little fast noisy box instead of teleporting like a civilized being. Nevermind that most species aren't capable of such luxuries. Cars certainly look sleek though, and they're really not that bad. I prefer the convertibles though." Luckily, or unluckily, she can't do the full air quotes around Little Fast Noisy Box. But she shrugs, and it's close enough.

Sir Pentious

"IF THEY'RE BUILT WRONG, THEN THEY ARE BASICALLY LIKE DRIVING AROUND IN A COFFIN! JUST WAITING TO CATCH FIRE!" He even points out a car when he says that, "BUT YES, COULDN'T REALLY SIT IN ONE NOW. MY BODY IS A LITTLE LONG FOR THAT. I COULD MAKE A CAR THAT FITS MY NEEDS, BUT I DO NOT NEED ONE. I PREFER THE AIR."

Alastor

"Unfortunately, around our neighborhood, most civilized beings don't know how to teleport! It's a pity, you'd think they'd make that a requirement. Alastor glances Sir Pentious up and down. "You don't look too long now, we could go for a joyride before we go home. Know how to hot wire a car?" He's 100% not joking. Oh, they've made it to Times Square. Alastor's got to stop dead for a moment, just staring around at all the buildings. "Would you look at that." He's got that look on his face again. "It's exactly how I remember it." Minus the billboards etc., of course.

Valera

"I do. But I'm more familiar with modern cars. I doubt the design has changed too much though." Oh good, Alastor's distracted again. That gives Val time to drape herself over the back of Pentious' chair, propping her chin on top of his head in a lazy sort of hug. Maybe get a little hair stroking in there as she watches Alastor take in the scenery. He certainly did seem attached to this city, maybe she should offer him the same Deal she did his alternate someday..

Sir Pentious

Hey, hot wiring a vehicle does sound fun! Excellent with his wheelchair predicament, not so much. Pentious smiles up at his beloved, removing his hat to give her a bit more room for the moment. "CAREFUL YOU DO NOT CRUMPLE MY ACCESSORY, MY LADY."

Alastor

Okay, all right. He's had his moment. He's basked in the confusing glory that is somehow, impossibly, being back in NYC. Back to being a good host. He whirls back to Sir Pentious and Valera. "So! My old stomping grounds were in Harlem; if you want jazz, that's the place for it. We can take a taxi, take the subway—or hoof it, if we want to be elegant." He winks. "But I never have been an elegant man."

Valera

Valera doesn't bother pulling away this time, setting her cheek down on all the new space Pentious has opened up for her. Mwah, a kiss for the top of his head. He's to blame, surely. The reference gets a snort, but then she thinks about the question. A frown, and she lifts a hand to brush through Pentious' hair. Comforting? Maybe self soothing. "Perhaps the subway? I don't know how many wheelchair accessible taxis are around here."

Sir Pentious

The reference definitely is caught and Pentious makes a face. "YES, I AM NOT VERY ELEGANT EITHER, AT LEAST NOT ENOUGH FOR A JAUNT." He pats his immobile legs, "HOW IS THE RAPID TRANSIT IN NEW YORK ANYWAY? I'M AFRAID I AM UNFAMILIAR, I KNOW HOW IT SHOULD FEEL IN THEORY."

Alastor

"I'm sure that for a taxi ride we could teleport your chariot away and back"—he obviously isn't terribly concerned with subtlety—"but the subway will probably be more convenient anyway." He gets on his toes, looking around for the nearest subway station—he feels so short—then points and leads the way. "Wonderfully efficient, except when it isn't. But that was almost a hundred—er—forty years ago! No doubt the basics are the same, at least..."

Valera

Ugh, more moving? Awful. She has to stop her ridiculous draping over Pentious like some overly affectionate feather boa and go back to actually responsibly pushing him around! A last peck for the road, and she extricates herself to grip the handles and follow after Alastor's spritely steps. Wasn't HE energetic? "Ah, the subway. Never been, but I assume we'll need..." A glance around, and she adjusts the purse she for sure had this whole time. "...Currency to purchase tickets? Where would one go for that?"

Sir Pentious

That energy wasn't new to Pentious, but it did seem like Alastor was solar powered after all. He can recognize a clear difference--he looks like a man mere seconds from bursting into song. People are passing by, it IS New York after all, and some looks are being cast Alastor and Pentious' way--Valera's, too. She's quite the looker! Sir Pentious readjusts his hat on his head, and he drags his fingertips against his lips as he watches the scenery pass ever so slowly, "THIS CITY IS SO BOISTEROUS--WE ARE LIKELY TO BE PACKED INTO THAT TRAIN LIKE SARDINES. NO OFFENSE, MY LOVE."

Alastor

"Getting up close and personal with other commuters' body odor is all part of the busy city experience!" If he wasn't busy navigating/narrating, he probably WOULD burst into song. Watch out for humming. "There should be a ticket window downstairs! I'm sure you can cover the fare, can't you? You covered the theater tickets quite handily—" He stops dead at the top of the stairs down to the subway. Emphasis on "stairs." "Hm." Well, he's completely ready to carry Sir Pentious down the stairs. The question is how to say so without sounding eager about it.

Valera

The sardine comment earns Pentious a snicker. She'd do move, but alas, they must move. "Oh, yes of course I can. Now, 'scuse me, dear. Need to get down there!" Alas, poor Alastor. He'd set a precedent with all his summonings and minor magics. Valera saw no issue with swerving around their tour give and making an invisible (to any normal human) ramp straight down the stairs like it was the most natural thing in the world. Who's going to complain if Pentious isn't getting jostled around? Perhaps she simply has superb upper arm strength!

Sir Pentious

Oh. Stairs. Hmm. He's about to make a comment, only to notice the ramp. Ah! How handy. Sir Pentious beams as he's not being bumped around like a sack of potatoes. "YOU KNOW, ALASTOR, IT'S REALLY RATHER ODD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE WITHOUT ALL THAT RADIO STATIC IN THE WAY! IT MAKES YOU KIND OF FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND?" And it's probably weird not hearing Pentious hiss every time he says an S, although apparently he just naturally drags out his S's. He might have done that in life.

Alastor

"Fade into the background! You insult me, Sir." Tone of joking faux offense aside, he is insulted. Him? Fade into the background? THE Radio Demon? Broadcaster extraordinaire, voice that can command the attention of a million pairs of ears at once? How would Sir Pentious like being told the Wright brothers did it better? He brushes off the insult. He's been resting on his laurels for decades, he knows that. Maybe he should work on his presentation some more. "You think that's weird, try listening to a snake suddenly start talking like a human." A ramp works too. Maybe Alastor doesn't get to carry Sir Pentious, but he DOES get to kick a bit of flat rubbish onto the ramp and see if he can stand on it and sled to the bottom. He can. He trips at the bottom.

Valera

"Boys, boys, you're both pretty." Valera will do nothing to save Alastor from his own hubris. But she WILL make sure Pentious gets to see his antics before she moves along to purchase tickets for the three of them. A miserable affair, but all that's left is to wait for their.. train? Subway? Ride? She hums. "Is there any meaningful difference between a train and a subway? Surely not, right?"

Sir Pentious

"OH, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT THAT SOUNDS LIKE!" Smooth. Pentious snorts against his glove, watching him trip--it was always fun to watch Alastor prance about. He's going to look over at Valera, reaching for her hand to pet it gently in his, "A QUICK TRIP FROM ONE AREA TO THE NEXT! ALTHOUGH, FROM THE SOUND OF IT..." He can hear a train leaving, probably they were going to catch the next one. How the station fills with noise! "FASTER."

Alastor

Alastor picks himself up, brushes himself off with great dignity, and answers without acknowledging his spill, "Sure, it's for when the rail-way is sub-terranean!" He trots after Valera and Sir Pentious. "Actually, maybe we don't need tickets." He'd just seen the turnstiles and had his memory jogged. "We also might be able to put our nickels in at the turnstile. That was a new feature when I moved here, don't know if they kept—twenty cents?!" He gapes at the price card on the turnstile asking for tokens; and then, turning toward the other two, repeats indignantly, "TWENTY cents?!" Better buy some tokens after all. Once they're through the turnstiles and Alastor has recovered from this fresh scandal, he notices a route map on the wall—oh good lord, they multiplied—and starts studying it for a route. He puts one finger on Times Square, one near his old apartment in Harlem, and—oh, all right, there's the old line he used to use, buried beneath all the others. "Now, hold on! There's a lot more lines now, we don't know if that's the right—" He squints at the sign on the train that just pulled up, squints at the map, and yells, "It's the right one!" He books it for the train, half-breathlessly humming "New York, New York" as he goes.

Valera

Pentious' pats are appreciated, but all too soon she's distracted once more by Alastor's frantic energy. Mostly the offended outburst at the, apparently, ludicrous pricing. She blinks, uncomprehending. "Twenty cents..?" Is that a lot for this era? Surely she can find enough change in her purse-- Oh he's off again. Dear gods, are subways always so terrifyingly hectic, or is this just a perk of being here with Alastor? Valera swears under her breath, grabs the wheelchair, and starts chasing Alastor down. Hopefully he's as confident as he sounds with his choices, otherwise it's the blind leading the blind here, and Pentious is stuck along for the ride.

Sir Pentious

Twenty cents!!!!!!! Though he had used a different currency, his father had been american and he had been educated in such things. That was a lot. Couldn't be to maintain the train, right? Likely, that was the reason given, but in actuality, taxing people based on quantity alone was just good business. Local Villain Here. He'd charge twenty cents if it were him. Actually, he'd probably charge an arm and a l--EEEEEEEGHHHHHHHHHH!!! Quite suddenly, he's being RUSHED along in his wheelchair, holding onto his hat while his eyes are wide as saucers!!! "ALASTOR, YOU BETTER NOT BE WRONG OR YOU'LL BE MEETING THE TRACKS SOONER THAN THE TRAIN!"

Alastor

"If I'm wrong, we'll have an adventure somewhere else in the city!" But he's probably right. There's a lot less wood in these subway cars. Pity, they used to look nicer. He takes a seat with enough room next to it for Sir Pentious's wheelchair, crosses an ankle over his knee, and hums cheerily.

Valera

It's tempting to take a seat as well, but Valera will stand. SOMEONE needs to keep Pentious from rolling around the whole trip, and she's not going to leave her beau to defend himself against the crowds. And oh, dear gods, she hadn't thought about the crowding. It's fine. A few minutes of unpleasantness will be well worth it. Backing into the aforementioned space with fiance in tow, she scoots his chair as close to Alastor as she can manage, already on the lookout for any unpleasant sorts. With a face like murder and a voice like she was discussing the weather, she begins combing her fingers through Pentious' hair once more. "Wow, sure are a lot of people around here. We aren't likely to run into trouble, are we?"

Sir Pentious

Okay, he's not as jostled anymore, and with Valera and Alastor here, he wants to assume he won't get trampled. Well. Can't be sure of that from Alastor. He'd probably encourage a stampede, knowing him. Sir Pentious rolls his neck some, frowning at the lack of flexibility he'd become so accustomed to. Feeling hands in his hair, the former-snake quickly turns to look at Valera, and his briefly tense expression softens. Time to look back at Alastor, "YES, ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE. YOU ARE IN THE COMPANY OF TWO DEMONS, VALERA. IF TROUBLE DOESN'T COME TO US, WELL, IT'S LIKELY TO MANIFEST FROM OUR GENERAL VICINITY!"

Alastor

"Three of us together, this time of day? Surely nobody would try to bother us!" He smiles innocently and bats his eyelashes. "If we want trouble, we'll just have to start it ourselves." On the other hand, one of them a woman, one of them in a wheelchair, and one of them using a cane—and the latter two dressed like they'd come from a costume party. If anyone wants to cause trouble, they might be targeted. But if they were, whoever bothers them is in for a series of rude surprises. He starts humming again as the train rolls along, this time wordlessly singing under his breath, "Da da-di-da dah~" The musical number danger zone has been breached, they are near the point of no return.

Valera

Oh no... She knows that tune, turning to raise an eyebrow at the musical strawberry himself. Really, Alastor? Right now? In the middle of a subway ride? Well, then again. He'd surely missed Earth, and the city life, and... Ah, what the hell, not like anyone here could STOP them. She grins, snickers, and starts humming along as her fingers start twiddling to the beat. There's never a bad time for a musical number when nobody can beat you in a fight, now is there?

Sir Pentious

........... WAIT, WHAT'S HAPPENING. Sir Pentious looks alarmed, glancing between Valera and Alastor. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IS THAT TUNE? I DO NOT RECALL IT FROM THE PRODUCTION!"

Alastor

"Oh, this tune won't be written for another decade or so! But you might be able to catch the chorus after a round or two." He's gotten too used to Hell, where the musically-inclined (and dangerous) can burst into song any time they want and nobody can do a thing about it but grumble and maybe laugh mockingly. Today, New York gets to experience true Hell on Earth: some tourist singing loudly on the train when you're just trying to get through your daily commute. Alastor stands, adjusts his monocle, winks at Valera—you know this one, right?—grabs a pole with one hand for support, and starts singing into his microphone cane: "Staaart spreading the news~" And he will keep singing until they reach their destination or one of the two people he actually knows tells him to stop.

Valera

Ah, could be worse. At least this subway car, Pentious included, gets to enjoy a LOVELY (allegedly) pair of voices on the trip over. Valera lets Alastor have his moment in the spotlight, harmonizing when appropriate and sticking to an acapella backing. So much harder to carry a tune without a band behind you, and she's perfectly happy to play the part. When they finally arrive at Harlem, she just. Wheels Pentious out like that was a perfectly normal thing they just did.

Sir Pentious

, Pentious can only stare at the two of them in abject horror. What are they doing!! Singing in public like this! It makes sense in a production, but this was real life! OH just... Hide his face...... Until they're off the train.....

Alastor

He's in the zone, he's having a good time. He doesn't even notice the horror he's causing until they reach their stop and he stops singing. As they get off, he wryly asks, "Too much?"

Valera

Valera snorts, rolling to a stop in an open area so she can pat her beau. "Oh don't worry my good fellow. Penny gets flustered over anything. Did you not enjoy our singing, love?"

Sir Pentious

He's so huffy, looking at the two of them with the reddest cheeks!!! "YOU TWO ARE INSANE. SINGING LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC! NO ONE ELSE CONSENTED TO BEING PART OF YOUR LUNACY." Says the Supervillain who Murders People.

Alastor

If he gets flustered that easily, that means they ought to be putting MORE effort into not flustering him, doesn't it? "Frankly, I don't care what any of those people consented to!" He gestures back at the subway car drawing away. "But VERY WELL! If you'd rather your regal reputation not be besmirched by your association with a couple of accompanying bards, then I'll simply have to resist the temptation in public." Alastor can sing any other time he wants. Like hell is he going to let a couple of musical numbers be a reason for Sir Pentious not to call on him to hang out again.

Valera

"Oh, Alastor! So considerate!" Valera titters, coming round the front of the wheelchair to look Pentious something akin to head on. Talking from behind him was getting weird! "If that is the bar you're setting, my love, so be it! But why is it alright to murder them, and not serenade them? Do you simply want us to... Reserve our voices for you alone?" A flutter of her lashes, first at Penny, and then at Stick. She's connected the dots. She's connected them. "Why darling, why didn't you say so? If I'd have only known!"

Sir Pentious

.............................. Sir Pentious is looking absolutely mortified.

"WHAT???? NO! THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT AT ALL!!!" Do not LOOK at him!! He scowls, pointing at Valera, "YOU ARE TWISTING MY WORDS!!! YOU ARE SINGING A SONG I DO NOT EVEN KNOW!"

Alastor

Goodness, Valera, don't say things that make Alastor's dead heart jump into his throat, it just hurts when he has to swallow it back down. And it leaves a funny aftertaste. "Don't you worry, my friend—no songs but the ones our listener calls up to request! Otherwise, the station will be playing nothing but John Cage's 4'33"!" He pantomimes zipping his mouth. It feels kind of weird without being able to add a zipper sound effect.

Valera

"Alright, alright. Message received, dearest." Pointing at your fiance is rude, Pentious. But Val can forgive him, this time. By taking his accusatory gesture in her dainty little human hands and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Mwah. "Oh, 4'33"? I love that one! Though they keep copyright claiming and muting the audio on the websites I frequent. It's the damndest thing." A wink is thrown to Alastor, and she lifts herself up into a good stretch. "Alright, enough of our nonsense. Alastor, my dear fellow? Lets hunt down a jazz club for dearest Penny. Perhaps he'll enjoy a good trumpet more than our nonsensical crooning."

Sir Pentious

Oh SHIT she's kissing his hand again--well, fine whatever! He huffs. Pentious probably wouldn't have MINDED a musical number, but he is clearly the type to want a lot of ... warning. Or maybe to not be trapped in a wheelchair. Or maybe............. a slew of YEAH BUTs. You never know with this guy. (You do know. He's grumpy.) "I JUST WOULD PREFER SOME WARNING..."

Alastor

Alastor doesn't have the slightest idea what copyright claiming is, but he understands the concept of muted audio just fine. "I tried to watch a live performance, but I was so far back I couldn't even hear the song! What a disappointment." Asking for warning is quite a step down from asking for them to hold off on the musical numbers altogether, and Alastor doesn't trust this abrupt deescalation at all. Sir Pentious is probably proposing a compromise that will just inspire further irritation if Alastor actually goes along with it. Oh no. Alastor's playing it safe. "Don't you worry, I won't be subjecting you to any more musical embarrassments," Alastor reassures him. "Now! Most of the clubs I went to only operated at night, but that was back when booze was illegal! Let's see if we can't find one that's still open and has daylight hours!"

Valera

Or! Or he's had his ruffled scales smoothed by Valera's affections! She's good at that! But she doubts there'll be any more musical numbers anyway, it'd be rude to take over a jazz club for a number, and they already made an elegance joke on their commute. Another kiss to his knuckles, and she drops Penny's hand to go take up the handles of his chair again. You never know, with Alastor. He might start sprinting away again. "Oh? Are we going to have to go door to door then?"

Sir Pentious

Pentious leans back in his seat, looking around at the people passing by. "ILLEGAL! WHAT DID AMERICANS DO FOR FUN? OR TO DROWN THEIR SORROWS?"

Alastor

Sure, like Alastor hasn't seen enough lovestruck men to know how willing they are to say things they don't really mean when a lady they find pretty coos at them. The fact that Valera's here to smooth his ruffled scales is half the reason Alastor doesn't buy a word of the retraction. "Why, what do you think we did? We broke the law! Yessir, America drank more during Prohibition than it did before! We bribed the officials trying to crack down on bootlegging with whiskey! One story goes—at least, the way I heard it—that when a Mabelman came to Chicago to see how hard it was to find an establishment selling illegal alcohol, it took him twenty minutes! In Detroit, fifteen! In New Orleans—my beloved New Orleans—it took him five seconds! He got into a taxi, asked the driver if he knew where a man could get a drink, and the driver said 'right here' and pulled a bottle out from under his seat!" Door-to-door it is. While he waxes dramatic on the abysmal failure of America's dumbest amendment, he leads them down a street toward what had once been a hotbed of speakeasies where jazz played.

Valera

Ah, and there's Alastor, prattling on like the chatterbox he is. Valera doesn't even need to say a word, just humming at the interesting parts and rolling after the stoplight red radio host. Gods did he stand out, maybe she SHOULD have put him in a different outfit.. Ho hum.

Sir Pentious

The story gets Pentious grinning wide again--it's probably very weird seeing him without those sharp teeth of his. He slaps a hand down on one of the armrests as he laughs. "HAAAA HA HAHA!! OF COURSE IT WOULD BE THAT EASY!!! YOU CAN'T KEEP A MAN FROM HIS LIQUOR!!! THE MORE YOU HIDE SOMETHING FROM SOMEONE, THE MORE THEY WILL GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO TAKE IT."

Alastor

"And trying to get it is just more fun that way." Like treats stuck inside toys as enrichment for a cat. It's weird seeing clearly-visible bars and clubs advertising their drinks freely. Alastor's used to it in Hell, but in this place, a place he remembers, it seems wrong. Several places advertise live jazz; he searches for one that's live right now,not in a few hours.

Valera

Venues, venues everywhere, and not a club to-- Oh, there's one with a few people coming out of it. And not JUST white people, at that. That's significant, for reasons Val doesn't quite remember off the top of her head, but she jerks to a halt anyway, giving the building a closer look. A flashy, lit up sign casting bright white light down onto the streets of Harlem. A strange little overhanging structure over the door. A.. Marquee? Yes, a marquee, advertising names she didn't recognize, declaring they were playing THAT NIGHT! People going in and out, lights on display... Surely it must be open? She moves closer, glancing over to see if Alastor's noticed the same thing she has.

Sir Pentious

Pentious doesn't really have anything to say, he's still watching people pass to and fro. People from all walks of life, it seemed.

Alastor

He certainly has noticed what she has, and he's delighted at the sight. "Well! Look who's still in business! I used to come here when I was alive!" The fact that not JUST white people were coming out of it was probably a contributing factor to that. "I even played here once or twice. You know—when they let the amateurs get on stage. Ha!" Tonight doesn't look like an amateur night—he doesn't recognize the names on the marquee either, but they certainly suggest the stage isn't free for casual jam sessions. Well, he doesn't think he's going to be performing any more today, anyway. He gestures grandly toward the entrance. "Shall we?"

Valera

"Oh good! You're familiar with the establishment, then? Perfect! Hope nobody recognizes you, they'll be hounding you for your beauty secrets the whole time!" A snort, and she pushes through the doors to reveal.. Well now, wasn't this lovely? A standalone bar, well spaced tables with lovely linen cloths, an open space for dancing in front of the modest stage. Open, accessible, and not a stair in sight! With the music already crooning and the smell of food from the kitchens, it was hard not to feel right at home despite never having been here.

Sir Pentious

Oh, now this is a venue indeed. Sir Pentious tilts his head as they head inside... What an atmosphere! He smiles, relaxing a little more. "AH, THIS WILL DO NICELY." Food.... Yes, he was getting peckish but he's not sure what would be on the menu.

Alastor

"If I run into anybody I recognize, I'll claim to be Al Junior and ask who knew my dad. Hah!" He idly wonders if his duplicate had ever even visited here. They can figure food out once they're seated—although, once they are, Alastor almost immediately forgets about the menu to pay attention to the music.

Valera

If only they could all be so easily distracted from the siren song of food! Valera fixates on the menu the second they're seated, tapping a few options before she looks up at her guests. "If it wasn't obvious, dears, I'm paying. Get as much as you want of anything you want." SHE is going to get an appetizer and a drink. It's only the afternoon, but an old fashioned and a shrimp cocktail are calling her name.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious looks at the menu, and... He makes a face, as he usually does when he's met with something he doesn't like or understand. He brings the paper closer to try to read out these items.... But then he just sits back, dropping the menu itself and drumming his fingertips upon the table. "WELL SO FAR NOTHING SOUNDS APPETIZING. I'LL HAVE A POT OF TEA." Scowl. It might be better to let him see what he'd be getting, since he's barely got any idea about many of these, "THEY LIKELY WON'T PREPARE IT THE WAY I LIKE." Big Fussy!

Alastor

"Oh, you'll regret that." Alastor is not known to be considerate when other people are paying for him. The music sounds like what he hear in jazz clubs in the—let's see, he remembers being incredibly drunk—the 70s? That must be the lag between mortal world innovations and how long they take to reach Hell. He finally picks up the menu—oh, ooh, he's probably going to order half of this.

Valera

"MAKE me regret it, my dear! I dare you." She's making money out of pocket lint and wishes, deer boy. You can't break this bank with a big appetite. A pause, and she glances at her beau in his huffy glory. Oh, Penny's texture aversion, right.. A closer look at the menu, and she leans in to point a few of the softer choices out to him. "Maybe the gumbo? That should be soft enough.. Or the steak? I hear they've got nice steaks. And just ask them to make the tea a certain way! I'm sure they'll cooperate."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious tends to expect others to disappoint him, but he'll try to be somewhat less pessimistic. He's having dinner with Alastor and Valera, after all. "THEN I'LL HAVE A GUMBO. SURPRISE ME." which probably just meant choose the type for him. "THE TEA SHOULD BE FINE, UNLESS AMERICANS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BOIL WATER."

Alastor

"I'm never introducing you to iced tea." He taps the menu. "They've got sandwiches, too." Alastor isn't sure what Sir Pentious's issue with the food is—although now Alastor's heard the both of them mention that Sir Pentious is particular a few times—but Sir Pentious brought sandwiches to their indoor picnic, so that ought to work, right? "I think I'll get gumbo, too." He remembers being sorely disappointed the last time he tried it, but he wonders if forty years have changed that. "... And maybe the oxtail soup." To cover up the inevitable disappointment from the gumbo. And the filet mignon with mushrooms. And the live lobster, like hell is he passing up a chance to get fresh shellfish while he's in the mortal realm. And— He can take leftovers home, right?

Valera

"Who knows? As far as I'm aware, Americans are mostly known for throwing their tea into harbors, not preparing it." Perfect, here comes the waiter now. Valera orders their appetizers and drinks, then wave the poor human away before they hear anything they shouldn't. The last thing these three need is even more attention than the two demons are drawing with their looks alone. And now, while they wait for these brief minutes.. She leans back in her chair and sighs. This is nice, all things considered. Being able to relax to any degree around Alastor AND Pentious? Not something she'd expected to ever achieve.

Sir Pentious

ICED TEA??? He looks at Alastor with abject HORROR at the implication. The waiter coming and going was a fine moment of Sir Pentious just staring at people when they address him, rather than. Being casual about it. It was impolite to not face someone when speaking to them, his mother had explained, and apparently he'd gotten back at her for this by pointedly staring at anyone who spoke to him to the point of making them uncomfortable. HE WINS THE SOCIETAL ETIQUETTE CHALLENGE. HE IS THE VICTOR!!! Holy shit though, that was a LOT of food that Alastor ordered. Pentious can't help the grin that spreads on his face as he leans towards the deerman, "STORING FOR WINTER, ARE YOU?"

Alastor

"Sure, if I get through all this I'll need to hibernate for a month!" He also threw in a couple of sandwiches, a crab salad, an order of golden buck, and Roquefort cheese. When is he going to get this easy access to fresh mortal food next? "You're both welcome to steal off my feast, I plan to sample everything and take the rest home with me anyway."

Valera

Damn, she gives him a blank check and Alastor does his best to order everything on the menu. Guess he really doesn't like the food in hell! Valera stretches and leans back into the conversation, propping her elbows on the table to support her head. A lazy glance around to ensure nobody's looking too closely.. Good. A little attention was inevitable, but it would be a shame to play cleanup in such a nice establishment. A hum.. "Why thank you! But my goodness, if I'd known you were so desperate for proper food, poor dear, I'd have invited you to use my kitchens while you were over last."

Sir Pentious

Now there's an idea. Pentious thinks about the three of them in the kitchen and he can't help but snicker, "AND ALASTOR MIGHT HAVE COOKED ONE OF YOUR CITIZENS! NYA HA HA!" Very funny. He's started paying attention to the musicians now, turning to watch them with interest. The gentle crooning was pleasing.

Alastor

"I wouldn't say desperate! I would say incurable gluttonous and absolutely shameless about taking advantage of those who offer me kindness without putting boundaries on it!" The sweetest smile. "Plus, I'm fairly sure none of the money you're paying with is real." Now there's an idea. "Well, if you happen to have any citizens you wouldn't miss..."

Valera

"It's real enough!" A pause, assessing her statement, and she amends with a mutter of "It wont disadvantage the establishment any, at least. I'm not that heartless..". Cough. And how convenient, a subject change! She beams at the two of them, showing off those weird flat teeth humans have. "Oh, if you're interested in trying Veci, we have PLENTY of undesirables! Though I'd warn you that the different breeds give a wide variety of flavor profiles, so you'd have to plan accordingly."

Sir Pentious

Oh they are actually taking it seriously. He snickers at that!! "I DOUBT THAT KIND OF THING WOULD DISSUADE ALASssTOR. AS YOU CAN TELL FROM WHAT HE'S ORDERED, HE IS A BIT OF A FOODIE!!"

Alastor

"There's the understatement of the century." He leans toward Valera, arms crossed on the table. "Give me the menu! Fair warning, at times I'm a bit of a food snob. My tastes skew toward the upper class." Perhaps more honest to say that his tastes skew away from the lower class until he learns why, exactly, they were deemed "undesirable."

Valera

She blinks at Alastor, keeping a carefully neutral smile as she turns that over in her head. Was that a threat? No, that was silly. He wasn't stupid, he must believe status made a difference. And didn't it? Higher quality foods, higher quality meats. Yes, that makes sense. She clears her throat and nods, casting her mind back to what she recalled. Ahem. "Well! A coastal veci like myself has very tender, buttery flesh. Melts in your mouth, so they say. A more open ocean type like, say, my friend Istoph, has much firmer, strongly flavored meat. Very much the game of the Veci world. I'd avoid the deeper sea Veci, their meat tends to be..." She grimaces. "It tends to be either rubbery, or gelatinous. And they're scavengers, so they taste like the fermented meat they live off of."

Sir Pentious

This is a very weird conversation to be in the middle of. Sir Pentious is looking at Valera the entire time they're describing what the meat of her species is like. He has bitten into her before, he RECALLS the tender flesh. ............... Oh probably shouldn't think of that right now. "AND VERY POISONOUS, ALSO. THE LOT OF YOU, CORRECT?"

Alastor

And now Alastor is thinking of biting her, but for completely different reasons. Sounds delicious. "I'm sure you must have recipes to get around the poison issue!"

Valera

Valera reaches over, taking Pentious' hand to give it a gentle squeeze. "It's not uncommon for coastals to have some form of venom, but the flesh itself is safe. My toxins are the result of some clever genetic tampering." A proud little head waggle! "Oh, and yes. The toxins break down in heat, so fully cooking the flesh is enough. Or you can be immunized against them, like Penny was!"

Sir Pentious

He smiles, holding her hand in his and stroking over it with a gloved thumb. "DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT YOUR TAIL WAS TORN OFF AND DEVOURED BY SOMEONE BEFORE?"

Alastor

Alastor's eyebrows shoot up and he leans around to try to see Valera's tail before remembering that, in their disguises, she doesn't have one. "That's a fair amount of flesh to grow back!" Like a lizard.

Valera

"Hah! You remembered that? Yes it was, my love!" She snorts, pulling his hand up to kiss his gloved knuckles. Mwah. It's nice having things she mentioned so casually be remembered. Even if they're weird things. "Oh yes, my body repairs itself quickly. My tail was back to normal in an hour or two. Could have been faster, but I was burning energy helping him with meal prep."

Sir Pentious

They are Very Weird things but Sir Pentious is just that kind of guy. He's looking over at Alastor like do not try to Catch my Wife's Booty with Your Gaze, Sir.

Alastor

"An hour or two! With magic, I trust?" If it had been by devouring enough food to rebuild the missing flesh, she wouldn't have been worried about meal prep. Anything raw would do. It takes him a moment to notice Sir Pentious's Look. It takes him another moment to figure out what it's for. He decides to play dumb, props his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand, and leans toward Sir Pentious. "Listen to me, jabbering away with the lady and ignoring the gentleman completely! My apologies!"

Valera

"Magic! Plus the energy reserves in my.." She gestures at her chest. "..Body fat." FINALLY their food arrives. Or as much of it as the waiters dare try to fit on the table. Drinks, dinner, and the cannibalistic conversation conveniently avoided around any human ears.

Sir Pentious

Penny's

looking at Alastor. About to say something when their food arrives! Finally. That's... A LOT, DEAR SATAN.

Alastor

Oh. Oh that really is a lot. What consequences hath his careless words wrought. For a moment he stares in horror at the covered table. Then he says chipperly, "Well, like I said! Feel free to taste anything you want!" He's gonna go for... ooh, what's first... how about the lobster.

Valera

So much for a low profile. She looks over the table... Then to the cart the waiters have parked near the table with the rest of their food. Then to Alastor, eyebrows raising as she whistles. "Goodness, my dear fellow. We'll have to use poor Pentious as a tray to get these leftovers out the door." She reaches over to pluck Pentious' gumbo out of the chaos and put it in front of him, then tries to puzzle out her own meal. Steaks, steaks, everywhere... Ah, there were two filet mignons, one of those must be hers. Come to mama, beautiful.

Sir Pentious

"MOST CERTAINLY NOT!" Do not stack food on him, he would hate it!!! But he looks over at Alastor with a squint as he begins tucking a handkerchief into his collar, like a bib. "YOUR STOMACH IS GOING TO BE DISTENDED BY THE TIME THIS IS OVER, ALASTOR."

Alastor

Alastor tugs at the front of his coat to test its give. "Not much room for that. Good thing I plan on taking most of it home!" The lobster passes muster. Time to try something else. Where's that rabbit? "Tell me what you think of the gumbo—I'm wary of it anywhere outside Louisiana, I want to know what to brace myself for."

Valera

She's going to stack food on him. She's going to stack SO much food on him. Or she'll just make the staff conveniently ignore the fact that their doggy bags are suddenly gone to some pocket dimension. But threatening to turn Pentious into a cart is funnier. "Mmrph." Sorry, her mouth is full of approximately half her meal.

Sir Pentious

NOOOOOO Oh. He looks over his gumbo, stirring the pieces of chicken and veggies around with a spoon... like a particularly thick stew. It smells good, anyway... some of the meat doesn't appear to be as squishy as he wants, so he shoves them aside, instead looking at the veggies. Big Fussy. "ARE YOU GOING TO ATTEMPT TO HAVE SOME OF MINE? YOU ARE NOT TO PUT YOUR SPOON IN MY SOUP!" Rabbit's a bit left of Pentious' gumbo. He's looking at Valera, "....QUITE A LADY! HAHA!"

Alastor

"I ordered my own, thank you." The fact that Sir Pentious is already pushing aside bits of food is a dangerous sign, but Alastor will reserve judgment until he sees him actually taste it. Oh, there it is. He snags his next dish, glances at Valera, and laughs. "I take it the filet mignon meets your approval!"

Valera

She gets her meal, she starts eating, and now! She's the center of attention! She swallows with a bit of struggle, clears her throat, and picks up her napkin to daintily dab her mouth clean. She's got manners, sometimes. Deep inhale.. "It's good! Though I'd prefer it rarer next time." And now SHE can stare at Pentious. Try your gumbo, Penny. The audience is waiting.

Sir Pentious

Oh no they are both looking at him. He hates this. Time to go on a face journey while filling his spoon up with broth. He brings the reddish brownish liquid to his lips, flicking his tongue against it. Yes. He is human. But he has spent the last one hundred and thirty two year as a snake. Leave him alone. Okay... the taste isn't atrocious. Sir Pentious sips it up, smacking his lips a little. Beer tasting tik tok. Aaaaaaand he finally speaks, "YOU KNOW, IT ISN'T BAD. THE BROTH ANYWAY, I COULD GET BEHIND. THOUGH I AM NOT YET CERTAIN ABOUT THE VEGETABLES OR THE MEAT."

Alastor

"Do you prefer your meat raw, by chance?" No judgment, it's a fine culinary choice. Look at Sir Pentious. Going about it like a connoisseur. A connoisseur who sticks his tongue into spoons before sipping. Alastor can tell exactlywhat he's doing, which makes it even funnier to see with a human tongue. "Sounds like a recommendation to me!" Now for that rabbit.

Valera

The spell is broken, the table can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Pentious can enjoy at least ONE thing at the table. Crisis averted! Val can return to her meal, taking much more respectable portions of steak now that she knows she's APPARENTLY got an audience watching. They wave for a second old fashioned, and tuck in. There, much better. Civilized fish.

Sir Pentious

Very civilized. Maybe Sir Pentious just likes watching you eat food, Valera. HE'S NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD.He's going to try the vegetables now... They're much softer inside the brother, and they kind of melt in a buttery fashion. Hmm... Not bad. The chicken is next... It looks tough, and he's not excited about it. Scooping the meat into a spoon, he brings it to his mouth and bites down on the spoon. .... A frown... And he unbites, putting the chicken piece back into the bowl. "NO. NOT A FAN."

Alastor

From the corner of his eye, Alastor is watching Sir Pentious's slow analysis with fascination. Oh, he's going to be a challenge for Alastor to cook for, isn't he? Good—no one else ever holds Alastor to any standards, he's going to have to actually improve his work. His face falls as much as it can when Sir Pentious... spits out? a bit of chicken. Alastor tisks. "We should have known better than to trust gumbo in New York."

Valera

"Hang on, I can fix this." Without missing a beat, Valera reaches over the table with their fork, rapid fire skewering a few pieces of chicken to steal away from Pentious. Down the hatch, and look. Nobody has to deal with them anymore! Isn't she generous.

Sir Pentious

............................ He wonders how that must have looked to literally anyone else.

[

11:41 AM

]

AND THEN HE PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HIS BOWL, AND LOOKS SO OFFENDED.

Alastor

"Well, if you don't like the gumbo..." He gestures around at the table. And the cart. "There's a couple of sandwiches on the cart if you want to try those." He got the sandwiches for Sir Pentious, because Sir Pentious eats sandwiches. He really did order this feast with the intent to share it with the table.

Valera

Val's completely focused on their own meal, smug as can be. Mm, yes, the mushrooms are so soft and lovely, mmm. Pairs so nicely with this steak. Better eat a little faster before anyone gets any funny ideas.

Sir Pentious

Oh sandwiches. He does like sandwiches... generally. Sir Pentious lifts his nose, looking over at the cart before he gestures, "I WILL TAKE A SANDWICH." And he is going to eat vegetables and this broth, because it is tasty, even if the chicken was TERRIBLE!

Alastor

"Have at it!" There should be some kind of meat sandwich, he forgets which one he finally ordered, and a jelly and cream cheese one he ordered mainly out of morbid curiosity. Okay, he's tried the rabbit, time to switch out the plate for his own filet mignon, Valera's making him jealous. "You know, I've been so distracted by this feast here, I've hardly glanced at the stage! After we came all this way to hear the music." He's gonna. Try to focus on that.

Valera

He's done with the rabbit? Perfect timing, Val's just about done with her own meal, and Alastor DID say she was free to sample. A few slices of lagomorph shouldn't be missed. Music? Right, yeah. Music. She'll worry about that when her stomach is done threatening to start dissolving.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious smirks, "WELL WHAT WOULD YOU EXPECT? IT IS NOT AS THOUGH WE NORMALLY HAVE ACCESS TO FOOD FRESHLY PREPARED IN THE LIVING WORLD." He's going to take a bite of this meat sandwich... That's a happy Penny. He's going to delight in this soft bread.

Alastor

"True!" He pauses a moment to listen. Hmm. "If anything, I think the music in Hell is better. More time to practice, I suppose! Better music, worse food—not a trade off I would have expected, would you?" He's finally gonna try that filet mignon—oh, good God, this must be what they serve in Heaven.

Valera

She snickers into her food, moving on to the lobster now. She can't comment on the workings of hell, but she can appreciate a good meal on her own dime. Let the boys have their talk.

Sir Pentious

"I WAS THINKING SIMILARLY, ALTHOUGH, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM IF WE WERE ATTENDING A FULL ORCHESTRA SHOW. TOUGH LUCK, ALASTOR." He grins, "STILL, IT ISN'T BAD. I FIND THE RAW, SOMEWHAT FLAWED STYLE OF PLAYING RATHER CHARMING. REMINDS YOU THEY ARE ONLY HUMAN, NYA HA!"

Alastor

Give him a moment. Give him a moment, he's gotta bask in the meat. Oh, that's superb. He makes a mental note to ask Valera to leave an exorbitant tip. "I think an orchestra that's been playing together for over a century, give or take a few exterminated cellists, is going to be able to show a thing or two to an orchestra whose members have only been playing their instruments for a few decades!" He glances at the stage. "But—you're right. Jazz is at its best when it's raw. Maybe we damned fools have gotten a little too refined in our playing."

Valera

Valera is picking away at the meals, humming idly but mostly ignoring the two.

Sir Pentious

IGNORING....

Sir Pentious sips more of the broth, then finishes off a sandwich before pouring himself some tea. "TOO TRUE. WE'VE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO OUR UNLIVES. WHO COULD BLAME US? THE DEAD SHOULD NOT USUALLY RISE AGAIN."

Alastor

"And if they do rise, I'm given to understand the living expect we'd start eating their brains! Ha!" He pauses thoughtfully. "Actually, brain doesn't taste bad. Although it's got nothing on the filet mignon."

Valera

She waves the waiter over to take her empty plates and cups, then props her chin up on her hands. The music is nice. She'll just close her eyes for a second and listen..

Sir Pentious

Hopefully the waiter didn't hear that. Penny snickers, and sips the tea. Actually not bad. And then he's looking at Valera. ... He smiles, wide. She isn't looking at him, so he gets to admire them!

Alastor

Oh, Sir Pentious is distracted. They're both distracted. Alastor swallows down the urge to constantly be making sound so as not to distract them from their distraction. He'll watch the show and switch to trying his own bowl of gumbo. If it sucks, he can cleanse his palate with more of his steak.

Valera

It takes SEVERAL seconds before Valera realizes the two have fallen silent, brows furrowing before she cracks an eye open to make sure they aren't moments away from going for each other's throats. Does she need to step in? No, Alastor's eating, and Pentious is.. Watching her, it seems. She smiles and gives him a little wink, then blows a kiss. "Hey handsome."

Sir Pentious

Color reaches his cheeks, and he can't help the grin, avoiding eye contact now... One hand reaches for hers, and he squeezes it. Listening to decently played Jazz Music, sitting with his good friend, and the love of his unlife. And more food than they knew what to do with. Pentious feels.... Good.

Alastor

The gumbo isn't bad. It isn't great gumbo, but it's an okay soup. Maybe he should ask if Sir Pe—oh, he's having a moment. They're both having a moment, the two of them. Alastor will keep suppressing the urge to speak. BOY THAT SURE IS A BAND UP ON STAGE THAT ALASTOR IS LOOKING AT. RIGHT NOW. WITH HIS EYES.

Valera

Try not to break your neck, radio demon! Pentious' hand is squeezed back, and Val scoots her chair a bit closer with the excuse of messing with the blanket draped across his legs with her free hand. If she doesn't move away afterwards, well. She's just being cautious. What if it falls? "Enjoying yourselves, boys?"

Sir Pentious

C: He is very smiley. Sir Pentious turns around to look at Alastor, and then he closes his eyes, raising a declamatory finger. "ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, YES! I RATHER ENJOYED THIS EXCURSION."

Alastor

Oh thank god they're talking again. "Why, a show, a signature, another show, a feast fit for a king, and such fine company besides—I'm enjoying myself enormously! And will continue to do so for another few days at least!" Yeah he's hardly made a dent in the food. He's gonna have hella leftovers. If they're talking again he can ask the question he's been holding back. He leans toward Sir Pentious and elbows an edge on his wheelchair. "I'll trade you the vegetables out of my gumbo if you trade me the chicken out of yours." If the veggies were all of it that met Sir Pentious's tastes, Alastor was at least going to make sure he got a full serving of it.

Valera

"Glad to hear it, my dears! We'll have to arrange a second excursion at some point. Penny needs more broadway, and poor Alastor needs regular access to Earth food. Speaking of, how is that okra plant doing? Should I arrange for a replacement sometime soon, my fine fellow?" She snorts, eyeing the leftovers scattered around them. This had to be a week's worth of food for a single deer, right? Surely! But it's a fine compromise he offers. Hopefully Pentious wont be overly stubborn about it.

Sir Pentious

In terms of deals that Alastor could be offering him, this was by far the mildest compromise. Sir Pentious looks at him with his usual big eyes, raising a brow.... "OH THAT'S RIGHT, THE VEGETABLES THING. YES, GO AHEAD, ALASTOR." He slides his bowl over. Whatever remains of the chicken within!

Alastor

Vegetables thing? Did his duplicate have a vegetables thing? Well, whatever—he scoops out what's left of his veggies (farewell, dear okra) and claims the chicken. Speaking of dear okra—"The plant's doing marvelously so far!" So far. "I found a spot for it and that bell pepper plant I won under a nice sunny window in that ship embedded in the hotel, you know the one."

Valera

She DOES know the one, in fact. Even if she doesn't know how a boat wound up not only in hell, but somehow being used as part of the architecture for what seemed to be one of Lucifer's estates turned rehab facility? Hell was a STRANGE place. A puzzle for another day. Maybe Charlie would know. "Ah! Wonderful! Okra is such a hardy plant, if anything could survive in Hell it would be that little beastie. Maybe I'll bring you some other plant next time I visit? Sounds like you need some fresh tomatoes and you'll be set for a fine side."

Sir Pentious

Once the swap is finished, Sir Pentious slides his own bowl back towards himself and returns to eating. AH, this was MUCH better. He didn't eat all that much and seemed to be used to that fact. Hard to be overwhelmingly hungry when you already knew your texture issues would make it difficult to actually eat something. But he's smiling away as he consumes the veggie gumbo. He didn't think he'd like it, but the added flavor of the now removed chicken did good things for this.

Alastor

"You'd be surprised. It's harder than you'd think to find fresh okra in Hell! Probably some local blight that wipes them out, that would be the kind of thing Hell does." But tomatoes... it's easy enough to get jarred tomato sauce and canned tomato paste in Hell—albeit at exorbitant prices—but when was the last time he'd had simple, plain, fresh tomatoes? "Let's see if I've got a green thumb or two hidden under these gloves"—he wiggles his fingers—"before subjecting another poor plant to my tender mercies—but if the okra lasts long enough to give me a crop, tomatoes would be a fine addition to my little garden!"

Valera

She snorts, sudden visions of Alastor in overalls over his suit, wearing a straw hat with holes for his antlers invading her mind. Ah, and he would fertilize his bountiful crops with the corpses of his victims, and put a hoe head on his mic's staff. Behold his new show, Farm Talk Radio.. May the gods have mercy on her for these evil thoughts. AHEM. Back to reality, no farmer deer here, just a man with wiggly hands who hasn't managed to kill an Okra plant yet. "Of course! Now, do either of you want dessert, or should I flag down the waiter for our bill?"

Sir Pentious

"DESSERT? SHOULD YOU OFFER HIM MORE FOOD?" Pentious scoffed, still working on his soup. Dipp.... The sandwich.... IN THE SOUP. What a rebel. OH it's delicious.

Alastor

"He has a point. If I get any more plates, I'm going to have to start holding them in my lap!" He considers the offer anyway. The problem with ordering dessert is that, generally, you only get dessert foods. Anyway, he was pretty full. Surprise surprise. "I think I'm taken care of!"

Valera

"Alright, thank you Alastor." Valera raises a very pointed eyebrow at Pentious. Answer for yourself, fool. But he hadn't said yes, so she'll wave down the waiter.. and watch them put the bill in front of Pentious. Right, this is the sixties. She's just going to take that and pay, thanks.

Sir Pentious

He fucking gave it the STINK EYE like No fuckin waY. Still finishing off his soup... "I SUPPOSE AFTER THIS WE HEAD BACK?"

Alastor

Sir Pentious is over here reinventing the au jus sandwich, it's a wonder he registered the dessert question at all. "Tip them very well." Does Alastor want to see what the bill is? Probably not. "We could! Or you could put up with me while I drag you halfway around Manhattan seeing what's still standing! But you'd probably want to re-kill me by the end of that." He looks around, do they have doggy bags? Or is he going to have to slide this food into a pocket dimension as they are, plates and all? He wouldn't mind stealing the plates, but...

Valera

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe we'll have to make another day trip closer to your own time, Alastor! That sounds fun." Valera hums, looks at the food, looks at the pathetic little waxed paper bags covered in pictures of dogs the waiter gave her.. Then reaches into her purse and pulls out extremely not period accurate takeout boxes that CERTAINLY didn't fit in there to hand off to Alastor. "Here, dear. Don't worry, they won't see anything."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is just like. Looking, but mostly after he's done his soup (finally) he sits back and cleans up his face, pulling the handkerchief out and setting it down on the table. "HA HA HA HA!!! OH, WHAT AN ENJOYABLE LITTLE TRIP THIS HAS BEEN!"

Alastor

His own time. He isn't sure if he even wants that. A question for later. He takes the boxes and starts loading one up. "Is that a reassurance, or are you planning on creating a distraction across the room? Because if you weren't, I was ready to ignite something on the table by the stage." He beams at Sir Pentious. "We must do this again! And sooner rather than later!"

Valera

"I don't need to make a distraction, I just suggested to the population of this establishment that they care more about their own business at the current moment. The guests are enjoying their meals, and the waitstaff don't need to come tidy up here for another ten or so minutes." Valera raises an eyebrow at Alastor, slides her gaze from him to Pentious and back again, and smirks. "Perhaps next time we'll have to visit a museum, those are always good fun. I'd be interested in seeing one of the exhibits on Pentious for myself, and I'm sure at least one of you would be over the moon as well."

Sir Pentious

Pentious glances over at Valera, and his smile falters somewhat. Thinking about it... Would he be featured in a Museum? Of course, he must be in some history books, but... Why hadn't he heard so much about it when he was in Hell? Was it just because he mostly met a lot of Americans? "ER, YES. QUITE! I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING LIKE THAT--THOUGH I IMAGINE THEY WOULD ATTEMPT TO PSYCHO-ANALYIZE ME OR SOMETHING. IT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING WATCHING THEM ATTEMPT TO CRACK MY GENIUS MIND!"

Alastor

“Oh, we can go laugh at everything they got wrong, then! You can look at the artifacts and we’ll read the plaques for you and tell you which ones are the most wrong.” Sir Pentious’s lack of enthusiasm has been noted; but Alastor’s too excited by the prospect of the trip to focus on that at the moment. He wants to see a Sir Pentious museum display and by god, he’s gonna. “It sounds like a spectacular trip! And I’ve been dying to find out how your history differs from my local version of you!”

Valera

"It's one thing to know the man himself, but quite another to see how the world at large remembers their villains." She reaches over to take Pentious' hand, giving it a squeeze. It's alright. "I did cheat a little, I'll admit. I've been to this reality at least once before, so I did some research to find the museums that had the BEST exhibits dedicated to my beau. I've already got one picked out for the three of us, schedules permitting."

Sir Pentious

He looks up at her, eyes wide. There are a great number of thoughts buzzing around in his head. Why didn't you tell me? being one of them, but... Would he want to be told? It was hard even for himself to predict his own reaction sometimes. Still, the fact that there are exhibits dedicated to him..... Sir Pentious turns back round, settling in his wheelchair and adjusting his blanket. "VERY GOOD THEN! WE WILL MAKE IT A TRIP. I WILL MAKE A POINT OF POINTING OUT ANY AND ALL INACCURACIES."

Alastor

“Who could ask for a better tour guide!” That’s the last of the leftovers loaded into boxes. Alastor glances around to make sure everyone still seems to be paying them no attention, then quietly opens up a neat little square-shaped portal on the table and drops the boxes through. “Depending on what’s in the museum, maybe we could steal back some of your possessions. You know, if there happens to be anything you want to retrieve.”

Valera

"Is it really stealing if they're going back to their rightful owner? I would think not!" The conveniences of demon magic are not to be underestimated. Food no longer crowding the table and plates stacked for the busboys, Valera stands, reaches into her purse, hesitates a moment, then drops a pair of twenty dollar bills on the table. Is that a generous enough tip? She has no idea. But it's more than twenty percent and that's what matters. Probably. Hopefully. Alastor will probably say something if it isn't. Maybe. Gods help her.

Sir Pentious

TWENTY DOLLARS---oh right, Penny is from the late 19th century. He clears his throat. Sometimes he forgets that money is ridiculous in one hundred years. Though he does chuckle, "NOW YOU ARE A TRUE NOBLEMAN, VALERA. YOU HANDLE YOUR MONEY LIKE YOU'VE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT!"

Alastor

“I would think not either! I doubt the museum will see it that way, but that’s their problem, isn’t it?” TWENTY DOLLARS—oh right, the money is imaginary and capitalism is made up. They’re going to be making some waiter’s night.

Valera

She looks at Pentious, glancing at the money on the table before clearing her throat and striking a dramatic pose, complete with fluttering lashes and her hands clasped together under her chin. "Money is like manure. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around, encouraging young things to grow." Nice save.

Sir Pentious

Ohhh, he sees what you did there. Clap, clap, clap. "FROM THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEARTS? NYA HA HA!"

Alastor

Alastor cracks up. It was a good reference! Applause from him too. “I did say we should tip generously!”

Valera

Oh thank the gods, they bought it. She takes a bow, then props her hands on her hips and squints down at the table in thought. Food was sorted, tip was sorted.. That was everything, right? A nod, and she retrieves her compact and begins reapplying her lipstick. She can't walk out of here looking like she ate or anything, goodness. "You did indeed, my dear fellow. Are you both ready to go, then?"

Sir Pentious

"YES, LET US BE OFF. I SHOULD LIKE TO RETURN TO MY TRUE FORM--IT IS A PAIN TO NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE AS EFFICIENTLY ON MY OWN. I SHOULD DESIGN A BETTER CHAIR FOR THE FUTURE ENDEAVORS."

Alastor

“And I’m missing my studio audience and sound effects department. The world’s entirely too quiet!” He says in the middle of a jazz performance. Quiet is relative. (It really is too quiet, though. For a moment, in the subway, he even lost the signals from New York’s radio stations. He’d forgotten the inside of his head could ever be so silent—and he can’t stand it.) Alastor gets to his feet, ready to go. “Let’s!”

Valera

Wonderful. Another tick off the checklist, then. Valera hops up, takes one last look around the club, and goes around to take the handles of Pentious' chair. "That sounds like a fantastic idea, love. If we really do plan on this being a regular occurrence, you're going to need a lot more freedom of movement." And with that, she pushes him towards the exit. It'll be a small matter to transport them back to her room as they walk through the doors, as seamless an exit as could be asked for.

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