#(although i don't know which part of her personal tragedy makes him feel like life isn't so harsh; i guess he's talking about her presence) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

romantichomicide95 · 1 year

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hi i don't know if you are getting request but was going to make a writing request from you. 👉👈

Levi is a valuable person to Y/n, since he saved Y/n in the past, Y/n is very attached to him (and in love) and he never wants to leave his side all his life.

One day Levi asks her what am I to you and asks why you are so attached to him.

I'll leave the Yn's answer to you.

I wonder if you can write such a fic, you can make changes in the article as you like

Levi x fem!Reader

summary: Levi confronts reader on her devotion to him. Warnings : None just fluff

I’m sorry I suck at endings and also wrote this super quick!

"Hey Y/N can I talk to you in my office after training?" Levi asks you as you're headed to training with Hange and the rest of your squad.

"Sure Captain Levi sir. I will be there right after." you say before running off to catch up with Hange.

What did he want to see you for? You wonder. You didn't think you were in trouble, you hadn’t don’t anything wrong.

You were part of his squad, although it took you awhile to get there. You had wished for it for so long, with ever fiber of you're being. But his squad was handpicked, only the best of the best…Don't get me wrong you were a good soldier, in your own right, but you certainly were not the best. The road to becoming someone he wanted around him wasn't easy, and it took him saving your life to get there.

You could remember it like it was yesterday, that fateful expedition. You were new at the time, a late join to the scouts. Much older than the rest of the cadets; you'd been an MP but you wanted in on the action, you wanted in on giving humanity a chance. You looked up to the Scouts, every last one of them. They gave their lives for you and everyone else in Paradis. Being one of them was a dream.

So here you were, the first time outside the walls, frozen in fear at the sight of this monster. It was so tall, so big and so...ugly. It looked almost human, which somehow scared you even more. Something that looked so human being so evil, being so devoid of any human characteristics. Driven by it’s desire to kill. It was terrifying.

You could remember how tight your chest got when it held you in its hand, the feel of its saliva dripping down on you like sticky wet rain. Being almost crushed in its palm, thinking this was jt, you were about to die. Than you heard it cry out, a sound so deafening and so loud. You still heard that sound in your nightmares. Than all of a sudden you were on the ground, and you could feel the grass underneath your hands. The smell of dirt and blood and sweat filling your nostrils, than a hand was reaching out to you, you heard “Get up" from a voice that now you found so calming and so warm. You looked him in his eyes, his face covered in blood, yet somehow he looked as handsome as ever. It was Captain Levi and those were the first words he ever spoke to you. You knew of him and his reputation, hell everyone did. You also knew how good looking he was since you'd seen him around; to be honest you always harbored a crush from afar. Now here he was, having just sliced the Titan that had held you in its grasp moments ago.Captain Levi saved you.

Ever since that day you felt like you owed him your life. You started trying to get to know him better, which as Hange would later tell you was hard for anyone. He was closed off, rude, and sarcastic. But that didn't stop you. You insisted, you insisted on helping him with his paperwork. You insisted on helping him clean whenever he needed. You insisted on doing whatever he needed, whenever he needed no questions asked until finally he put you on his squad, out of mere convenience. Because you were loyal, and you worked hard to be a stronger soldier. And that work paid off, you were stronger and you were determined.

Spending all that time around him made it so you felt like you knew him. Really knew him. You knew his devotion to humanity, his will to keep fighting despite the loss he suffered, the tragedy of his childhood and how it shaped him into caring so much about others. You saw the person he was under his rough exterior, and you fell in love with him for it.

______

Training had dragged on. You were so anxious for whatever Levi wanted to talk to you about. It could be something as simple as you're dusting of the bookshelves this morning was subpar. But that didn't do much to shelve the feeling in your gut. So now here you were in front of his office door. You gulp, as the pit starts to burrow in your stomach, your hands are sweaty and shaking and you feel like the whole world can hear the thunder of your heart beating in your chest.

You knock, three times, like you always did to let him know it was you. "Come in." You walk in to see him sitting at his desk, he was dressed more casual than usual with just a grey shirt and dark pants. His hair was more messy than usual. But he looked good, he always did.

"Sit." he says motioning to the chair opposite his own across from his desk. You cautiously sit down, he seemed more serious than usual, if that was possible. He ran his fingers through his hair almost nervously, which was odd for him but it explained the state of it.

"So you wanted to talk to me Captain?" your voice almost sounds shaky. You hated how much of a mess you became around him.

"Yes. You've been a pretty loyal soldier Y/N, specifically to me. It's been a few months you've been on my squad, but even before that..." he clears his throat and shifts in his seat, "you uhh, you've always been loyal. Can I ask you why that is?"

What did he mean why? Wasn't it obvious?

"You saved my life sir. I-I feel like I owe you my life."

"You don't owe me anything..." he lets out a deep breathe. "It seems more than that though, your close with Hange yet you don't seem to have the same devotion."

What exactly was he asking? Did he know, did he know how head over heels in love with him you were? Surely he didn't. Levi didn't seem the type to think about these things. He was purely focused on saving the world. Surely he didn't know. If you told him now, what would that accomplish.

"I guess I'm not sure what you're asking sir. I-I Idk how to answer that. Are you asking why I help you out so much? I mean, shit Captain. Excuse my language...sorry I-I just don't know what you are asking me." Damnit. You hated how flustered he could make you. The pit in your stomach was growing and growing. What if he did know? What if he was trying to dig for the answer because he wanted to throw you off his squad? What if your obsession, your devotion, your love for him was a hindrance and he hated it.

"You seem completely devoted to me and me alone Y/N, I guess I just want to understand." He was looking at you directly. You wanted to shift your eyes from his gaze, but the way those perfect grey-blue eyes were sparkling your way, it was hard to look away. “Why do you care so much and why do you always want to spend your time with me?”

"I-Idk Captain." You pause. At this point you just wanted to blurt it out. I fucking love you Levi you dumb idiot. What was the harm, he was fishing it out of you and there wasn't anything else you could do. "Fuck it. I like you. More than that actually, I love you Captain Levi. I know it's stupid, I know I shouldn't have feelings for my superior. I know I am so dumb. But I do, and it's not because you saved me. Although I do owe you my life, it's because you're you and idk I can't help it and I know I am rambling at this point but..."

"You love me?" he cuts you off, one eyebrow raised. He looks bewildered is the only way you could describe his facial expression. Like he's just heard the most outrageous thing. You gulp, why did you blurt it out like that. Why did have to be so stupid.

"Uhmm, yes." you say sheepishly, looking down at the ground.

"Fuck." he says. And there is a long pause. A long moment of silence, and all you can hear is your beating heart. "I-I love you to."

Did you hear that right? Did he just say he loved you to? Surely you are imagining things.

"Wait, what?"

"I said I love you too idiot." You look up, he's standing now. Above you, one hand on each arm of your chair. Your heart beats even faster than before. You think it might fall out at any moment, just a bloody mess on the floor. You look up at him, his face looks almost softer? Less stoic, less angry.

"You love me?"

"Yes. That's what I said."

"Okay, but...Wait. Is this why you asked me? Why I was so loyal to you, because you knew how I felt?" it had to be, you thought. This had to be the reason why. He loved you back, for some reason you certainly couldn't explain. Captain Levi loved you to. You could feel the rush of heat come to your cheeks. The pit in your stomach turned to butterflies fluttering, and your sweaty palms dissipated. He loved you too.

"I suspected. It wasn't that hard to guess." he chuckles. A rare chuckle you've probably only heard once.

"Hmm. Okay, so what do we do now Captain?"

"You can just call me Levi for one."

"Okay...Levi. That sounds funny." you giggle "What do we do now?"

Suddenly he pulls you up from your chair until your standing face to face with him. So close you can feel the warmth of his breathe and see the little lines around his eyes. Than he kisses you, pulling you in closer, putting one hand on the small of your back. Levi kisses you, and you don't want it to end. Ever. You want to stay in this moment forever. This perfect moment, this perfect kiss. But than it's over, its ended. Too quickly. Before it even had a chance to begin.

He straightens his posture. Still looking at you with those beautiful eyes. "Wow." you exclaim "That was...wow."

"Yeah." he takes a step back, clearing his throat. “Do you wanna eat dinner in here with me?"

"Yeah of course I do. Do you want me to come back at dinner time or something?”

"No." he says, stepping closer to you again. "I'd rather you stay here and do more of this until than." he says, pulling you closer in to kiss you again. This time more passionate, more intense.

This time it doesn't end as quickly. This time his hands are on your waist, holding you close to him. Your hands laced in his hair. The only thought you could muster in your head was I could really get used to this.

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afekmzf · 4 months

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Kujou Sara, Scaramouche, The Wanderer, and the absurd

just to preface I'm not a philosopher nor a psychologist I'm just going to rant about this with the knowledge I have, if I made any mistakes please do feel free to correct me, this is just me rationalising my headcanon. More under the cut.

I. Kujou Sara, Scaramouche, The Wanderer, and the absurd.

For me, the wanderer (Scaramouche) is an interesting character from an existential stand point, although he is not human, his story tells one of the oldest features of the human condition: the search for purpose and meaning. The Wanderer, like us, did not choose to be born that way, he did not choose to experience the experiences that he had, and he did not choose the circumstances he was born into, it reminds me of the Heideggerian concept of "throwness". In throwness we were thrown into the world, born into the conditions outside of our control, you did not choose your parents, you did not choose the language you speak, you did not choose to be in your country, in your home now, we can't determine this condition but they effect how we perceive, experience, and live our lives. We have to play the part even if we don't know the lines. We come to being with these things outside of our own control, but we must deal with these things.

As such, The Wanderer did not choose to be ""born"", he did not choose to experience those three betrayals, he must simply deal with those things. Sara also had to deal with those things, as the adoption of the Kujou was not something she chose, she did not choose to be abandoned in the forest either, she did not choose to have an adopted father that doesn't really care about her making her lonely in the process, she was simply being thrown into her current circumstances and have to make do. To recognise all that, I think, it's crucial for the character development of both Sara and The Wanderer to accept that they were not in control of what happened to them, but does this mean they were not at fault or absolved of sins of whatever they do? absolutely not. But, accepting this notion, the indifference of the universe is important.

Let's explore the absurd shall we? Camus dictates that the absurd is not the universe itself, or ourselves in isolation, it is born out of their confrontation. The man's search for meaning and purpose in an indifferent universe, that whole action is absurd.

Man is born with a certain "nostalgia" for unity, for a reasonable world with meaning, but “This world in itself is not reasonable, that is all that can be said” he wrote. The Wanderer (scaramouche) faced all these head on. First, his creator, having finished her goal to make an experiment, abandoned him when she saw that doll, him, experience sentience itself (I would even daresay consciousness). So why did she create him just to abandon him after he actually could feel the experience of sadness, of fear, of a nightmare? Second, Niwa's "betrayal", why call him a human when he saw him as a monster? All of his efforts to make a new happy life, crumbled to dust, a futile attempt at happiness. Third, he came face to face with humanity's great equaliser: death. The child, powerless against his own mortality broke his promise to him, sealing yet another betrayal, yet another failed attempt at happiness.

It is after this moment, that he gained his tragic consciousness, it is tragic because, he, is conscious of his wretched condition. Indeed, where would his suffering be if he were not aware of his tragedy? "I wish I'd never been born at all" is the culmination of this, it is the realisation that life, is not worth living, that absolute nothingness is preferable to the tragedy of this life

Now, let's take a look at Sara, her entire life basically revolve around her devotion towards the Shogun, this idea, that the Shogun was responsible for her salvation, was, misguided at best. If my interpretation of Neuvi's story were correct, she was saved by a system and not a person, in which, even the archons themselves are not aware of who and what their actual ambitions are. It is akin to devoting your life to someone because of something that they didn't even do.

Ei was as helpful to her as a bystander that watched her fell from the cliff, when the vision granting system was the one who opened her parachute automatically and thus saved her life. Sara (reasonably) thinking that the parachute saved her life, devoted her life to whomever gave/produce this parachute, in this shoddy example, being Ei. While in reality, the thing that actually saved her, was the (perhaps) cold and indifferent vision granting system, only giving them to those who passed a current threshold.

II. Lucidity, suicide, and philoshopical suicide.

As I've eluded to in the previous section, the thought of death is prevalent in Scaramouche/The Wanderer's story, to live without something to live for is indeed a very arduous and difficult task but it is what he (and us) must do. To live without appeal, as Camus said. But what I'd like to explore a little bit is Sara's position. Sara, having a foreclosed identity from my observation, is the one most susceptible to existential and identity crises. It may take just one bullet of irrefutable truth to shatter her whole sense of being. Her entire identity and life, is devoted to the Shogun after all. She has no hobbies of her own, no friends to speak of, and any personal goals outside achieving eternity, in which, she doesn't actually even understand. I think it would be a mistake to say that she's committing a philosophical suicide as she is not yet lucid of the absurdity of life and the indifference of the universe. But, in her scheduled yet monotonous life, I believe that this realisation could happen and will if The Wanderer chose to tell her the whole truth what would this look like? At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face, with the example below, the feeling of absurdity arises from the monotonous life, with "why" arising as the central question.

At this moment, the fabric of reality tears itself down, and everything become strange, a tree, a shrine, a chair, life, we could find ourselves questioning the reason for this all. And I also liked to think that, at this moment, after receiving the whole truth, from the Wanderer. Sara could then gain lucidity, why does she submit herself to the shogun? to fulfill eternity. why? to preserve Inazuma. why? so that the Shogun and Inazuma will be happy. why? so that I also feel happy. why? um, because their happiness is mine as well? what does it matter that you feel happy? because it's just better than feeling sad? why is it better? at some point I hoped she would realise "what's the point?" To which she will face the three following options: suicide, philosophical suicide, and embracing the absurd, let's explore them shall we?

First, philosophical suicide, to do this one must suspend all rationality and put all your belief, and most importantly, faith in something. It is not limited to religion, it could be also be applied to a political ideology, or even philosophy, it is to run away from the absurd. To put all your hope and freedom for tomorrow, to forsake the here and now in the hopes of achieving utopia down the line, no matter the way in which one would do it. Ei's old ideology of eternity is guilty of this. She deliberately chose to forsake the now for the sake of the future, maybe it is fear of death, maybe it is a fear of change, either way, her choice costed both her and all her relationships. Only with the help of the Traveler and Miko that Ei was able to overcome this.

In the true fashion of children following their parents mistake, scaramouche was also guilty of this, in pursuing godhood, a middle finger to Ei, he deliberately chose to dirty and bloody his hands, even allowing experimentations on his own body, all to achieve an ideal which at the end, becomes futile. After some more shenanigans, Scaramouche, feeling the extreme guilt because of his actions chose to erase himself, a substitute for suicide if you will. But then, the absurd, the indifference of the universe strikes again he was not dead, merely forgotten, and in that moment of the death of consciousness he began to yearn for some sort of purpose and meaning again, the nostalgia of the condemned man. After regaining his painful memories, he is faced yet again with the fact that his life has no meaning nor purpose. Suicide, is then, is tantamount to saying that life, is not worth living, or that it is not worth the trouble. It is to surrender yourself to the absurd and be consumed by nihilist despair.

And I hope he would inform Sara about all this, as I hope that she will not take the first route, but the temptation for both literal and figurative suicide would still be high. And thus, the last option against the absurd will be explored.

III. Passion, freedom, and revolt.

So, what is this absurdism thing? It is to recognise the futility of life, the meaningless of existence itself but with a smile on our faces with an ever present passion, freedom, and revolt against one's circumstances. To have passion for living, passion for absolute uselessness, passion for the meaningless, I think Cioran said it best in this passage below

Next comes freedom, with an objective meaning (to achieve eternity) for example, it has to proscribe a certain behaviour tho those who embrace it, because the question of the meaning of life ties itself to the way we live that life. Thus, in embracing the absurd, the meaninglessness of existence, both of them could try their hand at this freedom. This also comes with indifference, which comes with the letting go of values. The protagonist of the stranger, Meursault, is fundamentally indifferent to everything that happened to him, be it her mother's death or his execution. Because he simply does not and cannot see any objective value that condemns him, the only thing he resents is the idea that he has to bow to a higher power/condemn himself. It is the letting go of value and significance. If we do not value comfort, how could discomfort cause suffering? If we do not value the judgement of others, how could they hurt us? Of course this is a hard thing to do, but Camus illustrates in his books that it is possible, lastly, to live in constant revolution, one always has to revolt against one's current circumstances, for example the goal of absolute purpose and meaning may not be achievable and defeat is ever present, yet this is how we keep the absurd alive, rebelling with the total lucidity that one would never be victorious. To rebel gives us clarity and greater ability to live in the present. Here is some quotes about the absurd hero to give you a better idea:

"An absurd human knows about his mortality and yet doesn't accept it, know the limitation of his reasoning, yet still holds it dear, feels the pleasures and pains of his experiences and yet tries to take in as much as possible." "The absurd man will not commit suicide; he wants to live, without relinquishing any of his certainty, without a future, without hope, without illusions… and without resignation either. He stares at death with passionate attention and this fascination liberates him. He experiences the “divine irresponsibility” of the condemned man."

Camus share the dislike of hope like Nietzsche did, he thinks it robs us of much of the present, the hope of being free, of being happy one day, one must instead realise that they're free on every moment that heaven is on earth. As an example, Sara could not enjoy the beauty of Yoimiya's fireworks because she tied herself to the future, the hope of eternity, she could not live in the present.

An absurd hero, meanwhile, recognises that the fireworks are fleeting in nature that the moment could not last forever, and yet enjoying them anyway, with the total lucidity that it is fleeting and it will end as a pitch-black night sky. And we move on towards the last part:

IV. The Myth of Sisyphus

I'm sure you've heard of this by now, be it through memes or something else. Sisyphus, the King who loved life on earth, was condemned to ceaselessly roll a rock to the top of the mountain, when, the rock would inevitably roll back down. "They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor." And as such, I see this wretched fate also befalls our heroes, Scaramouche when he tried to make a life for himself and his pursuit of Godhood, only for fate, the rock, rolling back down again, his efforts futile and he himself forgotten, in the end his life, is a life without appeal, not for a God, not for a purpose. I also see this could be reflected in Sara, whence, she has fully grasped her situation, has to grapple with her now futile labor, the vision hunt decree, her efforts to be acknowledged by the Kujou all futile in the end. As I said before, if this myth is tragic it is because the hero is conscious, it is tragic at the rare moments when it becomes conscious. "I see that man going back down with a heavy yet measured step toward the torment of which he will never know the end. That hour like a breathing-space which returns as surely as his suffering, that is the hour of consciousnes."

This consciousness and lucidity, is also what will crown their victory. When Sisyphus chose to walk down from the mountain, aware of his torture, and yet doing them anyway. When The Wanderer decided to regain all his memories, no matter how painful, they're superior to their fate. And hopefully, with The Wanderer on her side, she too would be lucid of her torture, and yet continuing anyway. As Camus said "there is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn." The Gods only condemned Sisyphus to roll the rock up the mountain, they did not condemn him to resent the process. If one loved the process for the sake of the process that is thus the ultimate rebellion. This too, could be applied to the wanderer and Sara, to enjoy and love life, even if it seems nothing they do will ever matter in the end, even if it's just futile labor. Camus talked about enjoying the little things in life, the sea, the beauty of sunset, the smiles, the feel of snow, the fireworks. To enjoy the here and now, knowing what has happened has happened and the future will and could never be guaranteed. To live without appeal to a higher power, negating both suicide and philosophical suicide, to experience the quantity of life, embracing the absurd and smiling all the while, this is what I see sarascara could become and could explore. The Wanderer now, condemned to life without meaning, without purpose, to be abandoned to freedom, with the will to happiness, his rebellion is just starting, helped by Sara along the way. Sara too, would see herself in him, and together they could do something in this absurd life. I will end the with this:

"I leave Sarascara at the foot of the mountain! They always finds their burdens again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. They too conclude that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to them neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill their hearts. One must imagine Sarascara happy."

#kujou sara #scaramouche #genshin impact #sarascara #the wanderer #absurdism #the myth of sisyphus #kujou sara x scaramouche #headcanon #philosophy #character study #shipping #ship dynamics

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rosetyler42 · 4 months

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Hi! I want to ask what you like about Martha Dracula.

Personally, I hate how she had no purpose other than die to make Drac sad. We didnt see any of her personality so her death feels far less impactful than say, Bambis mom, and I hate the concept of zing/love at first sight trope" because the idea you will immediately know who you are supposed to be with forever based on immediate attraction sends a harmful message to kids and erases aromatic and polyamorous people and ppl who break off romantic relationships but are happier off that way.

I do wish we got to know more about Martha beyond the tragedy of her death and her book about Mavis finding her own zing, but I can kinda understand it as...the story's more about Drac, Johnny and Mavis and there were alot of other things to focus on. We do have SOME window into her personality and relationship with Drac: Mavis is implied to be similar to her and be the peice of Martha he has left, part of the reason he's so protective of her (With all the talk of Ericka being Martha's reincarnation - basically this universe's Mina to compare to other Dracula adaptations, I kind of think MAVIS is actually closer to that role. At least symbolically, although there are other similarities after having read Dracula Daily.) We hear that Martha is clearly the more bold of the two (similarly to Johnny and Mavis.) There's the legend of her and Drac's love story and family in the "Lady Lubov" legend, Drac's been clearly sitting Shiva for over a century, Her book about zings and how they met when she was Mavis' age, And it's implied Drac and Martha loved making music together as Drac mentions he hasn't sung in public since Martha passed. But as much as I do love the things we got, I wish we'd gotten to see more of Martha, seen her and Drac together and their (Less amorous) Gomez and Morticia type dynamic. Now, there IS a deleted scene on the HT bluray that shows Drac and Martha meeting, their courtship, and them having Mavis which gives more of a glimpse at Drac and Martha together which you may be interested in seeing if you haven't already. Matter of fact, Martha's reveal of her pregnant belly as a bat CLEARLY got reused in HT2 in Mavis' reveal of her own pregnancy.

As for the whole zing business...Yes, like all "Love at first sight" and Soulmate stuff, it does spread some harmful ideas, particularly for aro and ace people (like myself!) My mother had similar issues with it herself when we first watched it (though I don't think she knew about aro identities) Though I can kind of understand why it exists. Social interaction, particularly dating, can be a confusing, difficult, and potentially painful process. And I guess it's nice to imagine that you COULD just know the person you're meant to be with without having to go through all the mess. In the case of the HT films, it's also supposed to be a gothic fairytale Romeo and Juliet kind of story, which Love at first sight and soulmates are common tropes in that. Not to mention the trying to juggle a love story plot, a buddy film, family antics, gags, worldbuilding, (and in HT3, the whole "Monster Genocide" business) doesn't exactly lend itself to slow burns. The zing is a sweet idea, even if it doesn't necessarily work that way in real life.

This got long as I have some feelings about anatonormativity + HT , so here's a read more:

To a certain extent, that's part of what I like about HT3: It challenges the "A Zing only happens once in your life" idea by having Drac find love again. And having him DEAL WITH the "You only zing once" being wrong. Alot of people hated that. Some seek to think him falling for Ericka lessens what he had with Martha or means that he's forgotten about her. That he's cheating on Martha somehow. Some dunked on Ericka saying she was "weird" and "ugly", saying Martha was prettier. Some tried to find explanations like Ericka being Martha's reincarnation. But to me...I mean, we tend to think of love as being "The One," yet people fall in love again and remarry all the time. There doesn't HAVE to be a reason Drac zinged twice. And it resolves an issue the first movie had ABOUT "If a zing only happens once, what about people who fall in love and remarry?" Making it at least a BIT less amatonormative in my opinion. Of course, I'm something of an expert at bending rules and finding less amatonormative interpretations, and they never explicitly state EVERYONE has a zing.

Honestly in some ways the HT films are both amatonormative and anti-amatonormative. You have the whole zing/soulmate business, Drac teasing Dennis about Winnie, the guys setting Drac up on dates despite him saying he's not interested, and the whole "late bloomer" conversion therapy business. Most characters in the show have a partner except the mummy (who's shown dating), Vlad (who's showing off for the witches and talks about Nefrititi) and Blobby (who's more comic relief.)

On the OTHER hand, You not only have a 3 generational Non-nuclear family (with a stepmom, yet!) Living together in the same building in close proximity to eachother, but also a bunch of friends that are basically considered family, and at no point in the franchise does the romantic relationship get put higher than the familial or platonic ones. Heck, half the franchise I'd about the familial relationships. And even in the ones about romance, the familial relationships are a big part of those too. (There's also quite a bit if gray-rose coding with Drac himself looking back at the series - including the fact the man only experienced confirmed romantic attraction TWICE that we know of despite how much of a charmer he's shown to be. He can flirt until he's actually interested, then he can't function around them. There's also possible internalized aphobia that does get touched on, particularly in HT2 with him trying to make Dennis a vampire but then turning around and saving him from Vlad's "scare the fangs" plan and ultimately coming to accept Dennis as he is - which there's parallels between Dennis and his younger self drawn there.) I'll also point out that despite the "love and family over racism, we're all basically the same" message, love isn't treated as what makes one "human" in the series. If ANYTHING, it's bravery and willingness to take risk. Particularly to have fun OR protect others.

So yeah, kind of mixed feelings there as an aroace fan.

PS: I'll warn you about the HT3 junior novelization, there's a scene of VH dismissing Love as if it means nothing to him which...more aphobic than the scene in the film was. Particularly since Van Helsing gives off aroace vibes himself.

#hotel transylvania #martha dracula #martha lubov #aroace #amatonormativity #ask #asks #chinesegal #aro #ace #zing #I headcanon Drac as grayrose for ALOT of reasons #Mavis is probaby aspec too #As is her son Dennis.#DO love the fact Martha and Drac ARE basically a less amorous Gomez and Morticia dynamic #and the duality of her and Ericka's Debbie/Ophelia vibes is beautiful.#long post

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kny-stardust · 10 months

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Chapter 12 — Long Awaited Ending

Word Count: 3541

Summary: With your heart back to its rightful place, you found the strength needed to fight and decapitate your first and greatest enemy yet. A decade long tragedy is put to rest thanks to your sword. Now, all that there's to do left is to return home and end a week-long, and a two-year-long, pain and worry.

“Hey, Karaku.” You called him before he left.

He turned to you, making a sound of surprise. It was already late, so you would usually run to Mr. Hantengu's home to spend the little time you still had before bed with your siblings. So, you staying and calling out for him specifically was something new, but he still turned and walked up to you, with his usual relaxed pose.

“Yes, (Y/N). What is it?” He asked casually, but he couldn't understand why you were looking at the floor

“Is it really okay what you said earlier? For me to not harbor negative feelings for the other demons?” You asked him with a low voice. “I mean, I don't like them, but even as killers, I don't feel in my heart any anger or hatred for them. The only exception is the one who attacked my family, but-” You try to continue, but you can't, not after he places his hand over your head and pats it.

“Urogi already said it, didn't he? You're not the violent type, and I can tell you aren't the kind of person who wishes bad for others either, even if they are your enemies.” He said calmly at you.

“But, is it really okay for me to be like this?” You ask him, still feeling unsure.

“Of course it is! After all, that's just who you are! Being anything other than that will actually make you weak!” He said, laughing a bit, leaving you to stare at him in disbelief. “Look. Everyone of us has our temper. I'm the most chill one while Sekido is the hot head one and Urogi is the ‘craziest bitch you will ever meet’ one. It's our nature and that's reflected in which part pf the old man's breathing we learned and use the best. Yours just happens to be different from ours, that's never ‘I don't give two fucks about them’ nor ‘hey, killing them is cool’!” He said, laughing at himself. “You're caring. That's just how you are and you don't need to be nothing different from that. Just be yourself and you'll be at your strongest, okay?”

“Okay! Thanks, Karaku.” You tell him, bowing in gratitude.

“Don't mention it, babe. Just do your best, and you'll be set for life.” He answers.

That memory had played on your mind as you fought (W/N), Karaku's words stuck in your mind. Although you were still angry at her for what she did to them, her very children, blood of her blood, you couldn't hold on to those feelings for long.

Was it really her choice, to become a demon? Or was she turned like it happened to Tanjiro and Nezuko? Was this her true self, or a twisted version of her, thorough the transformation into a demon? Did the solitude and betrayal she experienced play a role on it or this was just her coping mechanism to survive?

Those questions calmed you down by the time you were prepared for the last blow. Your anger wasn't what was driving you any longer. It was your pity.

And then, it was over. You cut her head off and stepped to the side as her body passed by your side, falling limp to the ground. You hear her growling and mumbling something as you put your blade back. You turn to her, looking her in the eyes, making her stop whatever she was saying before. You stared at each other before you make your way to her, kneeling in front of you.

“What is it!? Haven't you humiliated me en-” You don't let her finish, picking her fading head and pulling it into a hug. She stops, not saying anything for a short while, which you take as a chance to open your heart.

“Auntie. No one holds any grudge for you. Not me nor anyone in your family.” You tell her, making her gasp. “I met uncle and your children. I talked to them for long enough to know how they are, how they feel, and I can be sure that they don't resent you. Not one bit.”

“...lies.” She says, half of her head gone. “There's no way they don't resent me... I killed my children... his children... their brothers... There's no way they don't resent me at all...”

“They don't. I'm sure of it.” You tell her. “Because they never spoke ill of you, even when they got countless chances of doing so. Because they didn't kill you, even though I sure they were highly capable of.” You pat her hair-like feathers. “They still love you, and they still miss you to this day.”

“...little one...” She calls you, almost disappearing. “...do you think... they'll ever forgive me... after all I've done...?”

“I don't think. I know so. They'll forgive you.” You let go of the hug holding her head on the same level as your eyes. “So go back to them, your dear ones. They're waiting for you.”

She doesn't say anything back, just letting one single tear fall from her eye onto your haori before she fades away forever. You stay there for a moment, looking at your hands, where even her ashes are fading away as seconds pass. You look back to where her body was, where there was just a mostly ripped kimono laying motionlessly on the dirt. You walk up to it, picking it up and starting to fold it, until something falls to the ground, getting your attention.

It was something round, and heavy, made of a metal, with a thin peeling layer of gold. In the front, you read: “To my beloved (W/N)”. You examine it for a bit, hearing something moving inside. You get shocked when you press something on top and it opens, revealing a clock inside of it. It was a pocket watch. You never saw one, since your family didn’t have enough money to spend in something like that, but you heard others from the village talking about something like this. You touch it to examine it, when you notice something in the back of the cover.

It was a photo, in black and white, with familiar people there. There was a man extremely familiar and a woman by his side, both in traditional clothing. In her arms, there was a wrapped blanket with a small face barely visible. Around them, was four children in the order from the tallest to the shortest. It was your uncle’s family, when Mr. Aizetsu and his brothers were young.

You smile gently at the photo, closing the photo and putting it away, before finishing folding the kimono, burying it and placing a couple of stones on top of it. You do the same to the boy that was killed before you arrived. You don’t see the other one, the one you helped. Maybe he left while you were unconscious?

You sigh, leaving the place. You could only hope for the best for him.

The rest of the week passed in a blur to you. After your battle against (W/N), you didn’t find too much trouble for the remaining of the selection. You stayed up all those nights and barely slept during the day, close to a couple wisteria trees that you found in the mountain. Even then, it wasn’t safe, as you woke up to a oni trying to drag you away from the tree to attack you. Thankfully, your training and years of taking care of your father made you wake up immediately and you slayed the demon.

Other than those two cases, you couldn’t remember any other encounter with any other demon as you lazily made your way back to the foot of the mountain on the dawn of the seventh day. You were tired, but what remained of adrenaline in your veins kept you awake.

You soon arrive at the foot of the mountain, in the same clearing where you started your test. There were four people there already. You recognized the woman who ordered the beginning of the selection, the fading hair boy and the young one too. The last one was…

“(Y/N)!” Ume cried out loud as she ran to your side. “Are you okay? By the gods, you’re bleeding! Does your head hurt? Wait, I have something here to help!” She said all at the same time as she began to search through her bag.

“Ume.” You call her, smiling softly at her . “It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt. I stopped bleeding on the first day. I’m okay.”

“You sure?” She asked, looking back to you.

You nod at her, still smiling. Despite that, she still helped you. Her worry lifted a part of your tiredness and made the rest feel like it was all worth it.

“It seems that everyone is here.” The woman said once the two of you joined the group. “First of all, welcome back and congratulations. I’m glad you made it back safe and sound.”

You can’t help but look around. There were really only the four of you? You remember seeing over twenty people there, but they were all gone. The boy you helped on the first day also wasn’t there. Did he… die? You couldn’t help the sadness creeping into your heart. You didn’t know him, but as someone you helped, you hoped that he would have lived longer.

“So… what happens now?” You hear the youngest of your group ask the woman.

“Gosh. What’s the rush? Can’t you wait for her to explain?” The other boy, the one with the fading hair, asked, seemingly annoyed.

“Yoshino.” The woman calls him out, making him stiff. “Behave.”

“Yes, lady Tamayo.” The boy, Yoshino, replies, his head laying low.

“Well, let us continue.” The woman, Tamayo, said. “You must first pay for the cost of the uniform. Next, you’ll have your body measured and have your rank engraved. There are ten ranks. Mizunoto, Mizunoe, Kanoto, Kanoe, Tsuchinoto, Tsuchinoe, Hinoto, Hinoe, Kinoto and Kinoe. As new slayers, you’re at the lowest level, as Mizunoto.”

“Ms. Tamayo.” Ume asked, raising her hand. “My master said that we would get a weapon of our own. Is it true?”

“Yes. Today, you’ll chose a chunk of Tamahagane alloy, from which your blade will be made of. It should be completed within 10 to 15 days. And, also...” She stopped, blowing a whistle. You looked at her confused before you heard a loud sound coming from the sky. Looking up, you saw a group of crows coming down, one landing on the shoulders of each one of you. “A Kasugai crow will be following you from now on. They are trained and used primarily for communication.”

You look at your crow. Yours was different from the others, as their feathers was white with a black beak. You look at one another, and you slowly reach out to caress them, which they accept, rubbing their head against your cheek.

“Awww! Yours is so cute, (Y/N)!” You hear Ume saying, approaching with her own crow. “Don’t you think so, Kurohime?” She asked, turning to her crow.

“You finally decided to leave home, Shiro?” Kurohime talked, surprising you.

“It-It talked!” You exclaimed surprised.

“Of course they do. How else would we communicate, silly?” She asked you, giggling.

“I… I see.” You actually didn’t, since you didn’t expect that at all. “So… Your name is Shiro?” You asked your crow, who ‘nodded’, but said nothing.

“You can rename them. They are usually named when young, but you can suggest a new name, and if they like it, they stick with it.” Ume says, looking at you expectant.

You turn to your crow, who is looking at you intensely, as if waiting for you to suggest a new name. You stop to think about it, but you were never actually good in naming pets. But then, a name comes to your mind.

“Huh… (C/N)…?” You say it, slowly, worrying if it would sound bad.

“What? (C/N)? Really?” Ume made a pout face, as if she was let down.

“(C/N)… I like it…” Your crow says, surprising you all. “Then, my name shall be (C/N) from now own… Good to see you again… (Y/N)…”

Good to see you again? What did they mean?

“Are you done introducing each other?” Tamayo asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. “If so, please go over there, and choose the alloy that will be used to create your blade. The very same blade that will be used to destroy demons and protect yourself. You must choose it yourselves.”

The four of you walk up the table indicated by Tamayo, where there were a couple of ores on top of it. She didn’t say nothing, and just watched all of you. You can’t help but feel anxious. You never saw an ore before. The closest thing to that was the charcoal you sold at the village.

“How are we supposed to choose?” Ume asks under her breath.

“I have no clue…” The little boy asks.

You turn back to the ore and tries reaching out to one. Your hand hangs over one for a second before you touch it. A shock runs all over your body, making you jump slightly. You don’t know what happened to you, or what made you react that way. You tried taking the ore again, getting no reaction this time, and turned to Tamayo.

“I choose this one...” You tell her.

After you left the Mount Fujisakane, you made your way back to Mount Sagiri. You made the same way back, but a whole week of build-up stress, prolonged fights, poor sleep and eating was certainly taking its tool on you when the adrenaline ran out. You had picked up a wood staff to keep yourself up as you slowly made your way back to the place. The sun was hot, burning your skin, leaving you thirsty and sweating heavily. Your vision was becoming blurred and darkening on the corners as you continued your path.

The only thing that kept you going was returning to your family, to your uncle, to the place you began to call home. You wanted to calm your siblings, who should be worried about your absence, and comfort Rokuta, who should be calling out your name at this point. You wanted to see Nezuko and Tanjiro, to be sure that they were still alive, even if they were still asleep. You wanted to be back as to put your uncle’s worries aside, for he should be fearful of your fate, now that you knew actual reason why he didn’t want you to take on the selection. You wanted to go back to that boulder, to thank Sekido, Karaku and Urogi for their help even after they passed, even if you didn’t get to see them one last time.

These thoughts were what kept you going despite your tiredness. In fact, you were so focused on those thoughts that you unintentionally ignored other people worried questionings and offerings of help. You just wanted to get home.

You didn’t notice the time pass until the sun was mostly hidden on the nearby mountains, lessening the heat on your body. It was only when you became aware of this fact that you recognized that you were close to the village, the same one of the old lady who welcomed you and your family in her home two years ago. The memory brought a tired smile to your lips as you notice a person leaving the village and heading to the path you were in. Despite your blurred vision, you still recognize a familiar patterned black and red kimono.

“Uncle!” You call up to him, using whatever was left of your voice.

Hantengu stops, turning to you, as if he had been called out by a ghost. The very next second, however, he's running towards you at a rapid pace. You try to meet him in the middle, tripping and falling in the middle of it, but he manages to catch you before you reach the ground and pulls you into a bear hug, holding you tightly against his chest.

“You're back... You actually came back!” He said as he hugged you, patting your hair. You hug him back and feel your haori get wet with his tears.

“I'm sorry, uncle. I'm so sorry!” You tell him as you also cry. “I didn't know... I didn't know about Sekido, Karaku and Urogi... I didn't know they were... That auntie had... I'm so sorry!”

“Shhhhh... I know, I know, little one...” He says as he pats your head. “I don't blame you... I'm just glad that you are back, safe and sound.” He says, comforting you. It reminded you of when you were little and went to sleep in your parents' bed because you had a nightmare. Your father patted your head the same way he does.

“Uncle... There's something more...” You say as you pull away from him, reach out for your bag and show it to him.

“Ah! This is...” He pauses before he picks the pocket watch from your hand, his own shaking as if it would crumble to dust by his mere touch. “I see...” He says as he hugs you back. “You must be tired, child. Let's go back. Your siblings have been asking for you the entire week.”

You were so tired at this point that you couldn't even make an answer. You hear him giggle as he adjusts you on his back, letting you lean on him and carrying you carefully. You wanted to sleep, but you simply couldn't. Whenever you closed your eyes, they would just pop open, and not let you sleep. You didn't understand why you were doing this, even though you were dead tired. You tried a couple more times, but you just gave up after failing them. You just laid on your uncle's back, your eyes half closed as you two went back to the house.

By the time you get there, it's already dark, and you still couldn't fall asleep. You were just looking forward until your ears got a sound weird. That sound makes you lift from your uncle's back and also made him stop.

“What was that?” You hear him ask.

His house was close already, but a good thirty meters of distance. You stayed still, your ears trying to capture anything at all. You were hearing your siblings crying about something that you didn't understand. All at the same time.

No.

You get out of your uncle's back and rush to the house, with him right behind you, calling out your name.

Please, gods, heavens!

Not again!

Not this again!

You were almost at the door when the same is sent flying, making you stop to avoid getting hit.

You stand there motionless as someone leaves the house. Your hands, that were gripping tightly to the sword, lost their strength as they recognize the red hair coming out of the house, followed by a long and floating black hair.

“Tanjiro...! Nezuko...! You... You woke up!” You let go of the sword as you fell to your knees in front of them.

They turn to you and they both reach out to you at the same time, hugging you. You hug them back, tightly, crying on their shoulders.

“Why did you fall into a coma like that?!” You questioned them. “Neither of you would wake up! I thought...! I thought you were dead!”

“Wait! Is that you, sis?!” You hear a new voice, that makes you raise your head. You can't help the smile that takes over your lips.

“Sis!” Your smaller siblings cry, running to the three of you, joining the hug.

A soft sigh leaves your lips as you feel your family's warmth, both literally and figuratively. Your siblings were okay. Tanjiro and Nezuko finally woke up. You were home. At the moment, this is all you could ask for.

With the last of your worries put to rest, you close your eyes, giving in to the tiredness that was stuck in your body since that morning. Even as darkness claimed you, you still felt your siblings warm hug and the soft headpats your uncle gave you.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny au #kny fanfic #kny roleswap au #reader insert #kamado family #nezuko #tanjiro #hantengu #daki #tamayo #rui #yushiro

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sanjarka · 2 years

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What do you think about Hijacked Peeta storyline in Mockingjay?

Is it narrative-ly satisfied for Peeta's arc?

Thank you,

@curiouspeetamellark

i already written about this in a previous post of mine, but it's pretty long so I'm just gonna copy the parts about peeta's hijacking here:

/@curiouspeetamellark i tried my best to only keep the most important parts. i just have a lot of feelings and don't know what do with them/

the tragedy of peeta's hijacking and how he was unconsciously preparing himself for it.

i am not implying that it was his fault or responsibility, and i don't believe it was necessary, nothing was. however, there is a reason why certain narratives include certain people.

and when we look back at the story, we can see how it was almost predictable. that it was foreshadowed, not only by the conversation on the roof in the first book, where he tells us that he wants to prove that the capitol doesn't own him, but also by who he is as a person. then we can see how his hijacked and true selves are entangled with one other.

although he appears to be more emotionally mature than katniss he is still just a child. he still traumatized, insecure, stubborn, lonely, prideful and scared. he is also trying to survive. it just looks different. his emotional maturity wasn't created from a good and safe place. he grew up with an abusive mother, a father who repeatedly betrayed him by failing to protect him, distant brothers, and as a result of that he feels insignificant and unneeded.

much as katniss survived by numbing herself out, in the years after her father's death, by letting her feelings happen outside of her, i feel as though peeta did the exact opposite. that he grew fixated on attempting to comprehend everything and everyone. that he became obsessed with overthinking and overanalyzing his thoughts rather than feeling them. his drawings and paintings are an escape form and that's his ways of surviving.

it feels like there is this sense of loneliness that follows him, is stuck to him, and that affects the type of relationships he builds with other people - distant ones.

while katniss's walls are so obvious, peeta's are unexpected and hidden. peeta goes through life hiding from others whilst katniss hides from herself.

it takes actual hard effort for him to let people and in many ways i think that katniss is the first one with that privilege. that she is his exception. and that it wasn't instant. that it did happen slowly.

so when i think of him, i don't picture a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve and is naturally open. we can see how good of an actor and liar he is. him being open is him making conscious decision to do so and not something he can't control.

other people see his love for katniss, not because he doesn't know how to hide it, but because he wants them to see it - it's the only time honesty was beneficial for him.

/we rarely see him being comforted by katniss and being the "weak" one. and it has nothing to do with her. he's the one who isn't prepared for it. he is apprehensive about being looked after. katniss may be challenging in this area too, although not as much as peeta. because her home was once a happy and safe place and being with peeta reminds her of those times while peeta is experiencing feeling safe for the first time. that's terrifying. he must be strong and and he must be capable, must be perfect, before he can even consider himself worthy of love. so it will take a long time for peeta to break that, to allow himself to show sides of him that are fragile,messy and ugly/

the loudest flaw of his is exactly this tendency to hide from others which results in bottling things up and letting them fester inside of him, particularly anger. we almost never see peeta lose control of his emotions and considering the situation that he is in, i don't think it's a positive trait really.

he never learned how to express anger in a healthy manner because, after all, it's supposed to be terrible, right? however, anger should not be associated with hurting or lashing out at people. the way to deal with anger is to let yourself feel it. not to repress it. but how can i expect peeta to be any different when the first attribute he would give to his mother would be anger? and the one thing he wants to prove to himself is that he isn't like her.

his hijacking is a tragedy, not only because he dreads becoming a piece in their games as a form of defiance, but also because it creates a complete lack of self control in a character who prides himself on it - the one thing he's certain is entirely his.

take an abused boy and abuse him some more, then take away his agency, rendering him powerless over emotions that aren't even his, while giving an outlet to those that are, that had been waiting for a moment like this one. take that anger, that he is so deathly afraid of, and make it his primary way of communicating. make him hurt the one person he trusted the most, felt safest with and then blame her for everything. make his hurting her fault and her responsibility.

and clearly, we know that the only real culprits of this crime are snow and the capitol and no one else but them, but hijacking works with the already existing insecurities and fears of its victim. it feeds off of its host. and considering that, it couldn't have found a better one.

-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-

the tragedy was the point. to have both katniss and peeta experience their worst case scenario (outside of loosing each other). this was just my way of explaining why i think peeta loosing self control is equivalent to katniss loosing prim. was it absolutely needed and did the story absolutely had to go this way? not really but isn't that the point too.

#i actually have even more thoughts that weren't even in the original post but i'm leaving that for another time because i.am.annoying.#thg #peeta mellark #peeta mellark: meta #asks #curiouspeetamellark #jana talks #mine #mine: thg

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solarsavoy · 2 years

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No one asked, but I really wanted to answer it!

Ask game.

3 - 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

And I actually have 4 so... Here we go!

Treasure Planet. So underrated, which is totally unfair. Beautiful story and one of the few (if not only) Disney movies that don't have a love interest for the MC. It's all about growing up and finding yourself and found family. In fact, just realized, Jim is like Stag in that regard. Both were abandoned at a young age by their fathers and became rebellious to the point of being impossible to deal with until their father figure came into their life. And also, never having a father of my own to look up to, this really resonates with me. Haha, Deshi's dad left him at a young age too. I'm sensing a theme. 😆 Unlike Stag though, Deshi doesn't need a father figure in the sense that he's not looking for one nor does he find one. (Although Lord Carroll does get close...)

Sinbad, another underrated film. By Dreamworks this time. The most alluring part of this film:

That fucking hair!!! Man, I could just watch how her hair flows forever. Like, nobody has ever made hair that moves like this before, or since! It's close to underwater hair, but not quite, so Little Mermaid doesn't count. But seriously, that fucking hair. And Sinbad is pretty funny. 😆 Most quoted scene between Deo and I, a dude gets thrown up by a sea monster, shakes it off, and goes to attack again. "Give that guy a raise." -Sinbad Yes, please. He deserves it. 😀👍

Anastasia. I loved this movie growing up. Rasputin what such a terrifying bad guy, and Anastasia was anything but weak. Despite it not being a Disney flick at the time, it broke the mold on Disney princesses. Tangled and Frozen hadn't come out yet and Anastasia was the only princess to do what she wants, when she wants, how she wants. Instead of the man saving her from some evil villain, he saves her in the very beginning from a threat to the royal family. And then she saves herself from Rasputin at the end. Well, and Dimitri, because, you know, he was hanging off a bridge. So many movies before this were misogynistic and so many after are so feminist that they really diss on males, but in Anastasia, they are equals simply facing the world together, and to me, that's just beautiful. And this:

And last but not least, A Little Princess. This is an older movie about a girl whose father travels the world. These two have a close bond and one day, he has to leave her because he needs to fight in a war, and over night, she becomes orphaned at a boarding school, so she becomes enslaved to the headmistress. Even after such tragedy struck her, she still believed in magic and told stories to the other girls. There was always this sort of mystery to her. Where others saw color, she found friends. Where others saw weakness, she saw opportunity. She's kind throughout the entire thing, and so much bad is thrown at her! Annie, eat your heart out and make way for A Little Princess. She always believes that magic is real, and when she falls, she gets back up again, even though sometimes it takes a little time. She's patient and accepting and just everything little girls everywhere should aspire to be. And in the end, she gets the honor of seeing that if you keep believing, the magic is real.

And those are my favorite films I could watch over and over again. ^^ I'm curious, how many have you seen of these? I feel like they're all a little underrated, outshined by other movies at the time. Poor Sinbad had to fight with Pirates of the Caribbean. A Little Princess got overrun by Pocahontas and Toy Story. Lilo and Stitch came out the same time as Treasure Planet. Anastasia isn't as underrated as the others. 😅 If you haven't seen one of these, highly recommend. I mean, I'd be okay watching them on repeat, so, yeah. Thanks for reading! And I'm still open for some personal asks if anyone's interested. ^^ And I'm totally willing to redo 9, since the last one was so entertaining. Fair warning though, that was probably my best story, lol. Have a good day!

#an ask no one asked for #movie rec #treasure planet #anastasia #a little princess #sinbad

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sweetpollyolliver · 1 year

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Hello, I wanted to address a post put in the Jiang Cheng tag. I was going to message the person but I got a grip and decided against it. I know they said they didn't want to be approached about it. I do wish, for a change, that someone would write some interesting and fair criticism of Jiang Cheng for us to discuss. With a mind to an open dialogue about it too!

Firstly, their main beef seems to be that people who like Jiang Cheng argue that his "abusive" behaviour can be excused because of his traumatic upbringing. I love Jiang Cheng, I spend a lot of time in the tag, I seek out other people who love him, I read the meta they write. I have never come across this argument. Respectfully, I find it hard to believe that there are multitudes of his fans who make this argument. Most people do NOT excuse his behaviour, think he is a pathetic (derogatory), hopeless case of a man who behaves abominably at times. I also suspect most of them wouldn't want to marry him - quite a few have said he would make a terribe spouse. That thought makes me want to defend him but I am not at all confident I could with much success 😂 They also feel for him and the various tragedies he has lived through - would you believe it, it is possible to think both! And to see how said abominable behaviour demonstrates the various ways he has been traumatised and feel for him all the more, even while not excusing him at all. I suspect a lot of them are offended at the accusation.

They compared Jiang Cheng (someone who has tortured and murdered) to Wei Wuxian (someone who has apparently not tortured and murdered). The novel and the show involve Wei Wuxian torturing and killing people!! What possessed them to make that comparison? If they had compared Jiang Cheng with Jiang Yanli, I think that argument might have held some weight as I can't recall her hurting anyone and it creates an interesting comparison because she was raised by the same people Jiang Cheng was. Would she have tortured and killed Wen soldiers if she had had the opportunity to do so? Would she have felt that she had a responsibility to do so, as I suspect Jiang Cheng felt to a certain extent - that she was getting justice for her family? Idk - there's a bit to unpack there about gender dynamics/expectations - ours (western white or Chinese), cultivation society's etc. If they had picked Lan Xichen, it would have held some weight, because although he has probably killed many people during the war, I can't remember anyone saying he tortured anyone (although it's been a while since I read the text/watched the show so correct me if I am wrong!). He's also just lovely and kind and would be very unlikely to act out of spite or temper. And Lan Xichen is also a sect leader which I think creates an interesting comparison. After all, Lan Xichen, as sect leader, should take some responsibility for Lan Wangji's corporal punishment - 33 lashes taht scarred him for life! You could argue that judicial punishment and torture for selfish purposes are not the same 😂 but they're both extreme violence focused on an individual in their power. Could it be argued that any torture/killing that Jiang Cheng carried out, he also felt was part of his duty as a sect leader and as a son?

But I also want to ask, what torture did they have in mind? Were they thinking of all the demonic cultivators he hunted down and tortured during the years after Wei Wuxian's death? Are they sure Jiang Cheng did that? What was the nature of the torture? Who said he did? Was the action in the text/show itself or was it hearsay? In a novel/show about hearsay and losing control of the narrative, are they sure it's true any more than it's true that Wei Wuxian was ugly and evil?

They also mentioned that Jiang Cheng is a villain - and a lack lustre one. I don't think he's a villain. An antaganist at times and an ally at others - by the ending... maybe a bit of both? it's left ambivalent imo. I would argue that the villains are Wen Ruohan and his sons if you are going to be boring. If you are going to be interesting, I would argue that actually Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao are the villains of the story,on the grounds that the story is actually about villains and how much their villain identity is Created by society and circumstance.

All of this is moot, to a certain extent, for me. I love him exactly as he is - whether he tortured or not. I have been very moved by stories about people overcoming their trauma to be a more positive influence on the world, but I find Jiang Cheng extremely cathartic each time he behaves badly - trauma or not frankly. It makes me examine where that behaviour might be stemming from and why it's satisfying. There's a lot to unpack there for me - that's interesting in a character! But who knows why I am saying any of this? For Jiang Cheng fans, I am only parotting what many people have said - in a far more nuanced and intersting way! For Jiang Cheng antis like OP, I doubt they will ever read this, and if they do, they will take it in bad faith, so what's the point? Catharsis for me I guess.

#Jiang Cheng #Jiang Wanyin #mdzs #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #honestly #what am I doing speaking for other jc fans???#edit: I forgot about jin guangshan #jin guangshan is so obviously a villain in the story #or is he a villain in the actual story itself? Is it just that all the readers think he is the villain?

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i-am-literally-deranged · 2 years

Note

Actually you know what I WILL criticize you on the hottest dating sim character.

Shuu Iwamine is objectively more attractive than Yuuya, and here is a neat bulleted list of why I think so:

He evil. Everyone likes someone evil and a little bit irreparably damaged.

Long hair,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, tied up in a cute little bow

Those EYES. We've all seen the "Unique!! White blue-eyed boy!" but I've seen people drool over those deep purple eyes

Tired all the time. Relatable

Constantly drawn covered in blood. People go crazy over that

He berates the player but occasionally gives them validation, which is enough to make most people coming back for more (as ill-advised as that may be)

Oh I love a good debate!!!! :D

• I actually think that irreparably damaged but still NOT evil is the hottest variety of character! It's easy to be traumatized and evil, but it takes some real SUBSTANCE to be more than that. Yuuya has some real dimension to him! He's incredibly selfless! He murdered a baby. He's incredibly loyal! He mutilated one of his best friends' body and covered up her murder. He's such a truly good person! How many students died while he was on the job? But Shuu is just plain evil. Sure there is dimension to him, but I don't find it COMPELLING. I can't get into Shuu's head and see myself making the same decisions he did. I can't justify or rationalize any of the things he did. That's a lot less hot to me than someone like Hitori or Yuuya who come in all these lovely shades of gray. Their bad deeds are so UNDERSTANDABLE, so genuine. They're more understandable, more sympathetic, and so it's easy to feel closer to them. I can't imagine feeling close to Shuu. The things he does are too evil, and don't make as much sense. When Yuuya does something awful it makes SENSE. It feels like an almost inevitable tragedy, there's no other way it could have gone, there was no right answer and he took the best way out he knew how. THAT'S SOME HOT TRAGEDY RIGHT THERE, REAL SHAKESPEAREAN SHIT!! THE GOOD STUFF!! When Shuu commits atrocities it's like. Ah, it's Tuesday. He just does it because it's What He Does. He's evil, and a terrible decision maker, and that's why he does what he does. And honestly, as much as I love the shades of gray, and the appeal of villainous characters is undeniable, I'm a real sucker for the good guys. I've never been one to fall into the tumblr sexyman trend of loving the villains. I love heroes and anti-heros! Good people in bad situations, just doing their best in a world without any right answers. Nothing makes me UwU💕 more than that.

• okay you got me there. Shuu's hair is fantastic. I love it. And his bow is amazing you're so right. ALTHOUGH credit where credit is due, Yuuya's little hair clips! They're so cute.

• Okay but HAVE YOU SEEN YUUYA'S SMILE??? It's so charming!!!!!! You can just FEEL the warmth in it. It's playful, it's easygoing, it's charming, it's mysterious. And as we all know!!! Mystery IS the most powerful of aphrodisiacs after all! Shuu has those purple eyes, but his smile says serial killer, and it's not lying. Yuuya's smile strikes my heart still! Also, Shuu's purple colour scheme is physically part of him, he didn't make that cool style decision himself. But Yuuya having all orange matching accessories?? That's so cute!! He planned that, made a conscious decision to colour code himself in orange. It makes me think that maybe it's his favourite colour. Shuu was handed the purple aesthetic life, but Yuuya chose and intentionally curated an orange aesthetic for himself, and I think that's wonderful.

• Okay but have you considered that Yuuya is also frequently covered in blood, and it's almost always his own blood? Being drenched in your own blood is SO much better than being drenched in somebody else's. It's more sanitary, and it gives poor little meow meow points. Yuuya covered in his own blood is infinitely hotter than Shuu covered in anonymous blood from somewhere unknown. What can you do with a Shuu covered in blood? Where do you GO from there? But a Yuuya covered in blood, that's the start of a hurt/comfort fanfic in the making! You can like, take him home and patch him up. There's places to go with that, there's a plotline in the making. Ergo, Yuuya's blood is hotter than Shuu's.

• I am immune to this effect on account of not being into degradation. Also, if Shuu's subtle praise is worth coming back for, what about Yuuya's flirtations? They're genuine compliments AND kind of a funny joke at the same time. That's the best of both worlds. You can joke with him about it, AND feel good about all the nice things he said about you. They're fun and cute, and some of the nice things he says are pretty genuinely sweet.

Some further points,

•With Yuuya you can get into these action packed near death experiences. Nothing more attractive than that, a "You and me against the world" partnership in a world that wants you dead. That's the best kind of bonding experience there is, and so logically, doing super spy stuff with Yuuya makes for an objectively fantastic date. Bonding through danger! A partnership where you trust eachother with your lives, literally! You can't get that kind of thing with Shuu, because Shuu IS the danger.

•ALSO Yuuya would Treat Me Right, and I know this with absolute confidence. Shuu is limited in his potential hotness by the fact that you can never really get close to him without getting murdered. But Yuuya? Yuuya cares. Yuuya would literally die for you. Yuuya is loyal, and kind, and just a damn good guy all around. He cares so much! He's such a good friend. Just look at the way he interacts with Sakuya. Or better, how he interacts with Ryouta, who he has no real connection with or obligation to, but still treats with so much kindness even though Ryouta is so hard on him. You gotta appreciate how much Would Treat Me Right energy Yuuya brings to the table

• I have terminal I Can Fix Him disease, and Yuuya's abysmally low self esteem makes me foam at the mouth. Every time something horrible happens to him I go absolutely feral, and bad things happen to Yuuya a lot. The more a character suffers the hotter they are. This is an objective fact.

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i-need-air · 3 years

Text

"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.

Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;

Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;

Word count: 4.5k;

[ Part 2 ];

"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.

Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.

She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.

"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.

Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.

Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.

And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.

Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.

Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.

Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.

"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.

"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."

"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.

"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."

"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.

With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"

"Woah—" that surprised her.

"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.

Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.

"He comes here from time to time—" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.

Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.

"How even—"

"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"

"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.

"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"

"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.

"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.

"Don't make fun of me."

"You say it too~"

"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.

"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.

"Of course. Which reminds me—!"

"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.

She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.

"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"

Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.

—

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.

Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.

Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.

"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.

Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.

It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.

"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.

"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.

"What!? Who?!" Confusion.

"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.

"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.

"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.

"Is that Midori?" Surprise.

"The nerve—" Anger.

"Midori from—" Disbelief.

"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.

He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.

Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.

There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.

"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"

He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.

"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.

"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.

"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."

Another set of gasps filled the room.

"Bakugou!"

One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.

Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.

"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.

"He's such a brute."

"What a mean guy—"

"She's crying!"

"Fucking asshole."

He gritted his teeth.

After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.

"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.

"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.

And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.

And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.

Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.

—

With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.

It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.

He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.

Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.

You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.

"Heard you were talkin' shit."

Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.

He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.

Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.

"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.

"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.

"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.

"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"

"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.

"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.

"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.

Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—

"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"

A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.

"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.

Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.

"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"

"I—... Say what now?"

"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"

No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."

Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.

"Or what?"

"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.

"Hey, extra!"

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—

"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.

"What's it to you?"

Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?

You scoffed.

"They're scratches, dude."

"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.

Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.

"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.

"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.

Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?

—

A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.

And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—

"You. Sit."

Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.

You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.

"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.

Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.

"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.

"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"

You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.

Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.

"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.

A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.

Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—

"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.

You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.

Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—

Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—

How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...

"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.

But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—

"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.

"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"

"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.

You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.

"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.

"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"

"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."

"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.

Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.

Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha #noire writes #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #i just wanted to make myself uwu #reader is op

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 3 years

Text

In the end of it all, Monaca Towa was still a child.

To start this off, this isn't my usual Black Butler posts but ive been meaning to talk about Danganronpa for a hot minute, so please bear with me! Second, this is solely my opinion and before anyone wants to attack me please read thoroughly first. Thank you:)

(Spoiler warning for Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 3)

Also, before we dive in I'm going to list some trigger warnings:

Physcological abuse

Physical abuse

Manipulation

P*dophillia

Suicide attempt

Violence (?)

Childhood trauma

Please take care and read at your own risk<3

Hello there Danganronpa fandom! Today I will be talking about Monaca Towa (as stated in the title) and how people often minimize her trauma and sometimes forget the fact that shes still a child who got heavily manipulated by Junko too.

Monaca is seemingly very amiable and caring, because of her charming personality, all of the Warriors of Hope love her and try their best to keep her happy and go along with what she wants. However, it's slowly revealed that she is actually manipulative and cunning behind her friendly facade.

Monoca is a character that is cruel, manipulative, and extremly unhinged. Many of her actions cannot be excused or justified, but you can understand where she's coming from.

Monaca's Backstory:

She was born an unwanted child by both her father and her mother. Monaca's mother was supposed to take care of her but instead abandoned the child soon after her birth. Because of all her actions, Monaca saw her mother as a completely selfish and pathetic person. Monaca's father thought of giving her to an orphanage but instead took her into his family.

However, Monaca was always unwanted and everyone else felt uncomfortable around her. Every time Monaca smiled or joked, the others looked at her coldly, as if she didn't deserve to laugh. Every time she spoke, the others turned silent. His older-half brother thought of her as an alien, not part of the family.

She was also physically abused to the point that she pretended to be seriously wounded for them to stop as a result.

Monaca also attended Hope's Peak Elementary School and was part of the "trouble-makers class" along with Nagisa, Masaru, Jataro, and Kotoko.

Along with her fellow abused classmates, she planned a group suicide; however, Monaca never had any plans to commit suicide in the first place and was planning to let the others die as a prank.

The group suicide was stopped by Junko, who took the kids in and manipulated them by treating them with kindness and love.

Monaca then helped Junko mass produce Monokumas for the Tragedy by using her position as a representative of the Towa Group.

She lied to her father and the other adults in order to produce the Monokumas, telling them that she wanted to create futuristic robots that could be domestic helpers and emergency aid workers.

Due to her separation from the family and her genius, her family decided to give her leg room to do what she wanted as long as she brought in profits to the company, and didn't delve too deeply into her plans.

Things to keep in mind about Monoca's backstory:

She was emotionally and physically abused from a very young age.

She started to pretend to be paraplegic because she was finally treated with some kindness and she could have more control over people.

She convinced Nagisa, Jataro, Kotoko and Masaru to commit suicide.

Out of all the Warriros of Hope, Junko took the most intrest in Monoca due to her position, meaning that she was the one who got used and manipulated the most.

How Monoca's mindset works:

The moment she got physically abused to the point that she had to fake her injuries to make her family feel bad was the moment she learned that through sympathy from others comes power. Due to her families neglection and abuse, she started to quickly pick up on things in which benefited her yet hurt others.

She started to use manipulative tactics on her family to gain control over them. She then started implicating these tactics with the Warriors of Hope.

When Junko got into the picture, everything changed for the worst. Junko was the only person in Monaca's life who showed her affection. Even though deep down Monaca knew Junko only cared for her as a means to use her robotics genius for the Tragedy, Monaca didn't care, and happily helped out Junko with her plans if it meant being loved and appreciated in return. At the heart of it, despite all her horrific acts, that's a very child-like thing to do, right? So when Junko dies, Monaca's entire reason for living basically disappears.

AI Junko via Kurokuma may have planted the idea of a successor in her head, but in Monaca's mind it's a way to get her big sis back, and very specifically chooses to mold Komaru into becoming Junko's successor. That's for a big reason, Monaca doesn't want to become Junko, I'd say she actually just wanted her big sister back who would love and appreciate her again, and hence tried to make someone else take on that role initially. Once again, that's the mindset of a child.

Monaca's relationship with the Warriors of Hope:

The Warriors of Hope are a group of children who are extremely resentful and hateful of adults, regardless of whether or not they were involved in their rough paths.

We all know that the Warriros of Hope are extememly tramutized kids. Masaru had alcoholic parents who physically abused him, Jataro was physcologically abused to the point he bealived he was so ugly that if anyone saw his "repulsive" face they would die, Kotoko was r*ped multiple times by disgusting p*dophilic men (not to mention, Monaca's brother was attracted to her), and last but not least we have Nagisa who had pressuring parents who wanted to raise him as the child prodigy and expirimented on him constantly.

Monaca used the Warriros of Hope's trauma against them, manipulating them to the point were they had to do her bidding completly.

As much as I hate to say it, Monaca truly saw them as pawns. Although there are some instances where she openly declares her care for the Warriors of Hope, it's likely she does that as a form of emotional manipulation.

If anything, she probably did see them as equal in the beginning but then when she started to gain control over her own family, she started to do the same with the Warriors of Hope as a way to protect herself from getting hurt, then again this is my baseless assumption.

Her dynamic with Nagito:

Monaca was amused by Nagito's strange behavior and contradicting beliefs and appeared to be somewhat annoyed with him at the times. However, the two appeared to at least seemingly respect each other in some way, as they treated each other somewhat formally as allies.

Her dynamic with Nagito is one of the most intresting ones. Obviously I think that her being rasied by Nagito was potentially a dangerous thing, considering Nagito's goal was for Monaca to become Enoshima's successor. Monaca seemed to agree with this goal, but Nagito's constant rambling about hope and despair made Monaca bored and feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

She claims he made her an adult in a way, as she grew up in the mental sense and became more cynical and apathetic, not really caring about anything.

In the end, Monaca found Nagito creepy and annoying, but she also appeared to get closer to him during their time together, while originally calling him just "Mister Servant" in UDG, she later refers to him as "Big Bro" in Danganronpa 3. I do think their dynamic was sort of soft and I would've loved to have seen more of it. Honestly the concept of Nagito being a soft brother to Monaca warms my heart, and the wasted potential will forever anger me.

(If any Danganronpa fanfic writer or any writer in general is reading this post: if u could be so kind and do a PLATONIC Nagito and Monaca prompt and tag me in it, I would love you forever!!)

My opinion on Monaca:

I think that Monaca was a very well-written character who deserved more than what she got in the end of Danganronpa 3. She was abused, mistreated and belittled by her family. If anything, I see her as a completely misguided little girl. If she actually had a positive authoritative influence in her life, she wouldn't have turned astray.

A lot of people disregard Monaca's trauma and forget that at the end of the day, Monaca was a child who the moment she was born, the people who were supposed to love her were unwelcoming.

Don't get me wrong though, there is no way in hell I will ever justify or condone the things Monaca has done. If anything, I just think that she alongside the rest of the Warriors of Hope should've been properly taken care of.

Also, if you dislike/hate Monaca thats 100% valid! She did a lot of inexcusable things and its alright to hate on her. I personally love her character but I know she is not everyones cup of tea.

If you read all the way, I'm actually surprised! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed<333

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merlinmagicmania · 3 years

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I'm new to the Merlin fandom (I'm at the end of season 4 but I already know how season 5 ends...) and I'm totally enraptured and frustrated by this show! I wonder: how did you cope all these years with the finale? Do you have your own headcanons on a possible better ending? I don't mind if you publish this! ^^

Hello hello!! Welcome to the fandom and thanks for the ask! I understand your sentiment bc I’m in the same boat! This answer has multiple parts and is a little long, so here goes:

I have a love-hate relationship with the finale. On the one hand, I love how tragically beautiful the show can be sometimes, especially how there were multiple points in time where one action could have rewritten events but the characters would never make a decision different from the ones they initially chose - in this case, it really becomes a tragedy and I find that poetically enchanting even if it’s not satisfying. And on the other hand - denial works!

I think it’s fun to reimagine how things could’ve gone differently if one of those decisions were changed. And I love the characters and the banter, so I just generally enjoy scrolling through the merlin content. And most of the time I pretend the finale never happened unless I want angst.

As for reimagining, I really think for the best possible ending, where all my favorite characters are alive and happy, the events of The Fires of Idirsholas would have to change. I think there were several turning points after that episode, and Morgana may have been brought back to the light in season 3 (whether through Merlin, Gwen, Arthur, or her own brain reminding her that Gwen and Arthur hadn’t betrayed her), but it would’ve taken a more drastic change. And Morgana was the main reason everything went wrong later in the show.

Morgana is obviously responsible for her own actions, and she has agency in her rage (although I think she was a bit ooc in hurting everyone in Camelot, especially Gwen and innocent civilians), but I still feel like Merlin poisoning her was a turning point that kept her from trusting anyone else. The interactions she had with Merlin in The Nightmare Begins and her perspective of things from The Moment of Truth both showed him to be sympathetic to magic users. And to have the one person she thought she could trust poison her, seemingly for no reason other than unfounded suspicion towards a magic user, could’ve been an indication to her that no one would trust her if they knew the truth. And if they were going to turn her into the evil witch, then she’d play her role well. And I really think Merlin just saying something along the lines of, “I found a book in Gaius’s study saying this is a spell that affects magic users and non-magic users alike and only the anchor would remain unaffected. This means the only way to break the spell is for the anchor to die.” would’ve been enough to turn the course of the whole show. Bc the Morgana at that time was kindhearted and would’ve gladly given her life to save others. She would’ve resented being used as a pawn and she would have even done something along the lines of Gaius’s or Arthur’s temporary deaths to sever the spell. And I think from there she and Arthur would fight a lot about magic, and Arthur remaining open-minded would’ve provided more windows for Merlin to reveal his secret. Or maybe not, but there would be fewer things going wrong and Arthur and several knights would no longer be set on a direct course for death without Morgana fulfilling her destined role.

Spoilers for the season finale: But as for a shorter immediate episode fix, I like to imagine that Merlin called Kilgarrah earlier, Arthur got to the lake in time, and Gwaine was taken to Gaius to be treated and survived. This is pretty consistent with other fans’ imaginings. Another option would’ve been for Arthur to make the right choice with the Disir. Unfortunately, the earlier version still leaves Lancelot, Elyan, and Mordred dead, and in my ideal headcannon, everybody lives! Mordred and Merlin are sassy to each other through mind-speak, Morgana is still verbally brutal to anyone who crosses her, Gwen is a gorgeous queen who sees more than she lets on, Lancelot is over Merlin’s chaotic shit and Gwaine is starting to suspect magic, the other knights and Arthur are still oblivious, and eventually Merlin’s magic gets revealed, creating a snowball effect into every other secret of his being revealed, the magic ban is repealed, and everyone lives happily ever after!

There are so many ways I feel like this show could’ve gone differently, and since secret identities/ secret powers is one of my favorite tropes, I really like reimagining things with an earlier magic reveal in mind as well. I have thousands of unwritten fanfics in my head for all the different possibilities, and I think that’s part of the reason I’m still a consistent fan. Content creators keep me consistently invested with all the magic reveal fics, memes, art, and head-cannons as well, of which I am incredibly grateful for.

I think that’s probably enough alternate scenario’s for now lol. Thanks for the ask! And to you and anyone who’s reading this, I hope you have a lovely morning/afternoon/evening/night! 💕

#bbc merlin #long post #merlinmagicmania ask response #bbc merlin finale #alternate possibilities #ways i would fix the show #magic reveal #merlin #morgana #arthur #gwen #guinevere #lancelot #gwaine #mordred

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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years

Text

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.3k

Warnings: swearing, recreational drinking

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 2

Part 1

"It's a cruel, cruel world to face on your own,

A heavy cross to carry along..."

Heavy Cross - The Gossip

He's not coming. I took a deep breath in. I knew this would happen. Why did I believe for a second that he was going to show up? He was only 5 mins late, and he could just be parking his car. I was sure he said he was getting an Uber.

No, he was late, it's the first date, and he seemed like the kind of guy who is 10 minutes early for everything. His watch could be slow, and he thinks he is on time. Except everybody has a smartphone, so everyone knows the correct time.

Why wouldn't he message to say he was late? He had messaged me to say he would call late last week. If you're the type of guy who messages someone when you're going to call them 10 minutes late, surely you'd message if you were late to actually meet them.

Damn him. He's the one who pushed for a date. After nearly three months of chatting online, texting, calling, he finally wore me down. Then he doesn't show up? Dick move.

I looked around the pub again, hoping to see him come in. The pub was dark but not unpleasant. It wasn't very crowded for a Friday night. It was the kind of place you dropped into, have a few quiet ones, and head out somewhere else.

I was the only person sitting at the bar. The bar runners smelled faintly of stale beer, earthy and sweet. I breathed the smell in, letting it soothe my nerves.

Three 20-something women were sitting at a table. A group of four guys were sitting at another not far away. Each group kept eying the other off, the girls exploding into giggles when the guys looked at them. I rolled my eyes, willing the guys to get off their arses and talk to them.

I looked over to two guys in their 40s drinking wine. They seemed so in love sitting there playing with each other's hands. I could see them playing footsie with each other under the table. One of them caught my eye. Sprung. I smiled briefly and looked away.

I jumped as the shrill ring of the pokie machines spilled out of the gaming room. I needed to calm down. I took a drink from my vodka. I wanted a cigarette.

I rechecked my outfit. I shouldn't have worn a white skirt. I don't know what I was thinking. Looking down, I noticed a bit of my bra was visible. I pulled my baby blue singlet up. I should have worn jeans and a t-shirt. Wasn't dressing like this false advertising?

The shirt felt tight. I sat up straight and checked for fat rolls. Then I slouched and checked again. Nope, not a good look. I ran my hand over my hair, checking to make sure it's still neat. It didn't feel frizzy. I put a stray curl behind my ear.

I looked at my phone again. No messages. Maybe...

"Hello, excuse me," a voice from the stool next to me said. I flinched. That was Will's silvery voice. I smiled, relief easing over me.

Turning around, my smile faltered. That's not Will.

The man sitting next to me was living proof God had favourites. He had dark curly hair, a bit long on the top but short on the sides. He had blue, almost green eyes framed by thick, dark eyelashes. Coarse stubble covered but didn't hide his strong jaw and dimpled chin. He was an Adonis. A Hellenic God brought to life.

I wanted to run a finger along his jaw, feeling his skin and prickly hair. I shivered.

"Sorry, I just saw your phone cover, and I wondered if you could help me? I'm sure I've seen that symbol before. What's it's from?"

Simultaneously, my jaw dropped, and I tried to swallow. I made a strangled noise from my throat and started to cough. I grabbed at my drink and took a huge gulp, regretting it instantly as the vodka and bitter soda caught me off guard. I managed not to spit it out, barely.

The Adonis patted me on the back as I choked. "Are you ok?" he asked.

He wasn't from around here, English like Will. But Will doesn't look like this guy. The Adonis was looking at me, his eyebrows coming together. Oh yeah, he asked me something.

"Uh," I cleared my throat. "Ah, it's the Allomantic table of elements from Mistborn," I explained.

He smiled. I giggled. I. Fucking. Giggled. I felt the heat in my cheeks.

Still smiling, Adonis raised an eyebrow. "That's where I know it from. They are great books. Have you read other Brandon Sanderson?"

He was built like a rugby player. His shoulders were broad, and he had thick thighs. I could see the definition of his muscles through his dark denim jeans. He was wearing a light grey knitted jumper. It was so light and thin that it clung to his chest and tufts of dark hair poked out the top. He had pushed his sleeves up, exposing his forearms which were, like every part of him it seemed, toned and defined. Everything about this guy screamed masculinity.

He was very likely out of my league. Although he looked around his late 30s, guys who look like him are after 22-year-olds, not girls who were 30 last birthday. Yeah, that was it. He isn't hitting on you; he was actually curious. This realisation was what I needed to stop being a dribbling mess and return to a normal state of being.

"Yeah, I have a bit. I'm really enjoying The Way of the Kings." I felt my shoulders relax. I hadn't realised I was clenched up.

"Yeah, I've read that too. It's great. My name is Liam, by the way."

"Lana," I replied and stuck out my hand. He took my hand and shook it firmly. His hand swallowed mine.

"Pleased to meet you, Lana," Liam said in an almost formal way. He was still holding my hand. I felt the return of the Dribbling Mess. His hand was so warm. My stomach reminded me of a book I read as a kid, 'there was an old lady who swallowed a spider, that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.'

"Yeah, you too," I managed. I tried to take as much of my Australian accent out of the reply as possible. He sounded so posh, and I sounded like a bogan.

He smiled again, or did he smirk? He let go of my hand. I was barely able to stop myself from putting my hand to my cheek to feel the warmth still there. I smiled back at him and turned back to the bar. My hand went to my cheek.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

I looked back at Liam to make sure I had heard right. Yes, he was looking at me expectantly, his finger pointed to my drink. "What are you drinking?"

"Vodka, soda and fresh lime." It was my usual drink, and I said it instinctively. I could say the order even when I'm three sheets to the wind.

Liam signalled the bartender and ordered. I took the time to calm myself. I counted to 5, breathing deeply through my nose and out through my mouth. It worked, and my muddled thoughts cleared.

I had forgotten Will. I supposed it's not a good look for a random guy to buy you a drink when you're supposed to be on a first date. But then, Will wasn't here. I checked my phone, no messages or emails. Nothing.

Liam got himself a beer, grabbed my drink and stood up. "Would you like to go to the beer garden? It's a nice night out, and I'm really enjoying this Sydney weather."

"I uh... I'm waiting for someone."

Liam sat back down. "Surely they can find you outside when they get here. It's not that big a place."

"Yeah. I guess, but..." I was interrupted by the group of women I had seen earlier. They were bouncing as they stood, eyes flashing and huge grins on their faces.

One of them asked, "sorry, excuse me, are you, Liam Cross?"

Liam looked at me. His eyes clouded for a moment, and then an awkward smile was plastered to his face. He looked back at the women. "Yes, I am. Would you like a picture?"

Excited squeals and jumping came from the women, but I zoned out. Liam Cross. What the fuck? I stared at him. How the hell did I not recognise him? I've watched nearly everything he has done since he started acting.

I never really thought much of him playing superheroes or spies. Then I saw his last movie where he played a magic enhanced warrior, and he entered my fantasies. A strong, rough, capable man of action with a heart and moral code, what wasn't to love?

My God, it really was him. Liam Fucking Cross.

Liam cleared this throat, and I snapped back to reality.

"You're really him," I said.

"Sorry?" Liam cocked his head to one side.

"You're really Liam Cross."

"Oh yeah. I am." Liam grinned.

"I'm sorry I didn't recognise you. I don't know. I guess it didn't even enter my head, even when you said your name."

"And here I was thinking you were playing it cool," Liam said.

I scoffed, and before I could stop myself, I said, "yeah, nah, nothing about me was cool from the moment I laid eyes on you." I wanted to die.

Liam laughed, a proper belly laugh, and his shoulders seemed to bounce up and down. "Well, alright then, you weren't playing it cool. But it's ok. I don't need to be recognised by everyone I meet."

"Yeah, but I should have recognised you. I've seen heaps of your work." Just stop talking, Lana!

Liam waved his hand. "Don't worry about it. Where were we before we were interrupted? Beer garden, you and me."

I nodded. I grabbed my bag, and Liam took our drinks. "After you," he said, gesturing and inclining his head.

As I walked outside, I could feel my skin heat up. It was a warm March night and only slightly humid. A cool breeze was coming in from the harbour. We were close enough to smell the salt in the air.

"Where did you want to sit?" I asked. Only one bloke was having a cigarette outside, so plenty of tables to choose from.

Liam looked around and indicated to the tables down the back. "Down there, I'm less likely to be noticed there."

"That must suck."

"Yes and no. I like that people like my work and want to tell me and meet me. It feels good. It's just that sometimes, like now, I'd like some private time."

We sat down, Liam with his back to the pub. I sat opposite him.

"If you want some private time, why go to a pub?" I said. I covered my mouth. "Sorry, it's not my business," I added.

"Direct, aren't you?" Liam's lips twitched. "I am also here to meet with someone."

"Oh shit, Will." I rechecked my phone. "30 minutes late." I sighed, "I think I got stood up."

"Really? He must be an idiot." My eyes widened. Liam's lip twitched again. Was he laughing at me? "How long have you been dating?"

"This was supposed to be our first date. We met online, been chatting for a few months." My voice was quiet.

Will isn't coming. The realisation hit me, and I felt like I'd had a brick hit my chest. I turned away from Liam. If I was going to cry, I wasn't going to cry in front of him. I'm an ugly crier.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I'm sorry." Sweetheart? It must be an English thing because Will calls me that too. "Have you called him?"

I shook my head. I didn't entirely trust myself to speak yet.

"Why don't you?" Liam asked. "If he has a flimsy excuse for not coming tonight, then at least you'll know where he stands, and you can stop worry about it."

I took a few deep breaths. "I guess you're right." I got my phone out of my bag and stood up, "Give me a minute?"

Liam nodded. Twitchy lips again. What's with that?

I walked a couple of metres away and called Will. I started to pace, glancing at the back of Liam's head every few steps. Liam's phone began to ring. After a few rings, Will picked up.

"Hello Lana, how are you?" He sounded nonchalant. Did I get the day wrong then? No, I was sure I had it right. I had checked his message so many times.

"I'm ok. I am waiting for you at the pub." I paused and looked at Liam. He was on the phone too. "Did I get the day wrong?"

"No, you didn't. I'm here." I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding.

"That's great. Did you just arrive? Can you see me?" I looked around. I couldn't see him. I looked back at Liam. He was still on the phone but had turned in his chair and was looking at me.

"I can see you. You can see me too," Will said. I turned around in a circle. I still couldn't see him.

"I'm sorry, I can't see you at all."

"I'll come to you then," Will said.

Liam got up out of his chair and walked towards me. Liam was close now, and he stopped. Liam hung up the phone, and the call with Will went dead.

My heart thundered in my chest. I could hear the blood rushing through my body with each tremendous beat. The ground seemed unstable, and I wobbled. This isn't happening. It can't be happening.

Liam bent to my ear, his breath tickling my neck. His lips brushed my skin as he whispered in a low voice, "I'm right here, Sweetheart."

Part 2

#original character #original fiction #romantic story

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synnefo-nefeli · 3 years

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Hello!! Just wanted to say I just re read Heard Your Heart Beating for like... The fifth time, probably?? And now that I know ur tumblr, I just wanted to say. Its probably one of my fav Klapollo fics. I LOVE your characterization in it. Especially Apollo's, in which he gets flustered and provoked quite easily but he can also get super sassy and bitchy lmao. And I love his and Klavier's friendship? It makes me so happy to see fics where their pre-relationship is explored. I love seeing romantic interactions but it's also SUPER nice to see them just being... Platonic and hanging out together and supporting each other and being friends!! I mean relationships are founded upon friendships so it's really cute to read about them before they get all romantic too. I loved reading about their Valentine's Day hangout at Apollo's house. It's just... So chill. Even though you touched on the big Kristoph issue, it is also lighthearted at times. It was really nice to see Kristoph being addressed but it not being the whole point of their 'date'. And their banter...... Omg.... Especially Klavier's highkey flirting LMAOOO ITS SO FUNNY TO READDD!!! And Trucy omg.... I love the inclusion of her because of course she needs to be included. Love her. Anyways thank you so much for writing it!!! I don't want to, like, unknowingly pressure you into continuing or anything though!!! I just wanted to share my thoughts! I know how hard it can get continuing a fic when you have real life obligations lol. Anyways I will be suppperr happy if you do but even if you don't! I am still so glad you wrote the chapters so far. PHEW THATS IT. HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY

Anon, I am just dead from this comment. When I read this, I wanted to cry because I am just so touched and humbled.

“Heard Your Heart Beating” has such a special place in my heart and I am sorry that it takes me 5ever to write in general that the updates to it are slow. Never did I think that a story I came up with nearly seven years ago (lsdkfmslkfdm) would take me this long to write but also I like taking my time with it, as I’ve never ever written a slow-burn fic.

I love Klapollo so much, and I just want to do them justice (haha), because there is so much there between them as characters. They’re two characters bound by tragic events but, they’re both forthright individuals who have a lot of external factors (good and bad) impacting their relationship.

AA5 was such a great game and full of emotion, but there was a lot to read in between the lines- Apollo had suffered a personal tragedy in losing Clay, and his introduction as an attorney had been fraught with betrayal and a lot of fighting against the odds, then he nearly has to accuse Athena for Clay’s murder...and it was just a lot for him.

As for Klavier, the year prior had left him with the truth that he’d been used and betrayed by his brother and his best friend...and then as he’s picking the pieces of his life together, transitioning from the rocker life that was his way of life/protection from Kristoph for 7 years, his mentor is murdered. Klavier is a genius prosecutor, he most likely advanced early through Themis, changed his career path, graduated, got his badge, and then his debut is just a mess. Apollo brought him back to the courts but Klavier, it seemed at least to me in DD, was still trying to figure out where he fit in.

Constance Court’s impact on Klavier is a big part of Heard Your Heart Beating and will be explored in later chapters.

But yeah I liked the idea of these two coming together organically- they’re both highly empathetic people, so there is common ground there. Klavier knows that Apollo has seen the Kristoph that Klavier once knew and admired. It’s easy to paint Kristoph as a monster, but when you look at how Apollo and Klavier speak of him (before the murders obvs) you can tell that all they both wanted was to make Kristoph proud. And I also wanted to explore those human moments with Kristoph too. Yes, he’s an asshole- but he was someone that Apollo and Klavier looked up to. So that betrayal and grief is something they can both share, and while Daryan is still alive, Klavier’s friendship with him died metaphorically. But the hurt and pain of not having that friendship, not having that person you love platonically in your life for the rest of your life- is a death unto itself not unlike Apollo’s pain and grief over losing Clay.

They strike me as two people who are just looking for safety, and they both recognize (Klavier more quickly than Apollo, although I feel it’s subconscious on Apollo’s part) that they can have that safety with each other. This theme is reflected in the title. It’s from the song “Cosmic Love” by Florence + The Machine.

“Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you “

When I heard this song while writing the opening drafts of this story, I felt that this song summed up Apollo and Klavier in this story- they’re both in personal darkness that no one else seems to understand, but when they recognize that the other is in that same darkness- they reach out, even if it means remaining in that grief and sadness, there is comfort in knowing that you’re understood and not alone.

Oof that was a tangent hahaha.

The Valentine’s Day scene was one of my favorite scenes to write. It comes from such a personal moment between the comfort I’ve found with my own friends during a time where I was trying to get my footing in life. Also, not to side note again, but this fic is actually pretty personal- I’ve never really put my own personal experiences or feelings into a story to the extent that I have in this fic. The opening chapter was written during a time when I thought I was losing my best friend- I had commiserated a lot with Apollo while playing DD- I cried while writing it and I still cry when I read it because it is so intrinsically tied to that time of grief and a feeling that the universe was taking my friend away from me.

So the Valentine’s Day scene was meant to be a scene of comfort and banter- two friends, just hanging out together rather than being alone on “Singles Awareness Day”. I love that everyone had an expectation of where I was going with that scene. Especially when alcohol was introduced and then it ended up with them being in Apollo’s bed XD. It amuses me that their first time ever sharing a bed together would be under the most platonic of circumstances XD.

Anyway, thank you so much anon for the lovely comment- it definitely made my day and made me look over my drafts for this story :) Maybe an update will come soon!

Have a good day!

#Klapollo #apollo justice #klavier gavin #Heard Your Heart Beating #fic asks #writing

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onewomancitadel · 2 years

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i think the reason i personally still read it as ar//kos being pushed/being part of the story is not because jaune is acting as an aggrieved boyfriend but more because in volume 6 (a highly important volume for bees AND renora, our closest-to-canon ships) is where we get "forever fall" which is the score that plays over almost every ar//kos scene (including their meeting during initiation) and no one can come to a conclusion of whether its from pyrrha or jaune's perspective (i **PERSONALLY** think it's pyrrhas but that was actually weirdly controversial during v6 😳😳😳)

THOUGH!!!!!! i think that if the island is meant to host spirits and give the fallen 6 closure it would be a very good way for jaune to finally put pyrrha to rest and stop feeling guilt over "what could have been"s. and yeah your blog is really fun for me to hang out on! i think we have rly similar readings of rwby overall and even where i disagree i dont mind enough to barge in and say how i think youre wrong or something LMAO.

anyway!!! this is getting kind of long winded so i hope youre having fun making your dollies kiss and i get out of school next week so im gonna catch up on skimming eye and maybe draw something based on it 😳😳😳😳

Oh wait what? I thought it was Pyrrha's perspective. That's not Jaune. I thought that was obvious given the 'Forever Fall' part, like I think of Pyrrha as symbolically 'trapped' inside Forever Fall, idk. That's me and I'm very weird. (Came back to edit though and damn, we both have such good taste and correct opinions). *smug*

Although with that being said of Volume 6, Volume 5 is where all the major ships have their meetings and reconciliation? RG, BB and.. well... well... WELL!!!!!!

Yeah I don't know, I think the island is a Special World but I'm not sure it's an Underworld, there is a Tree of Life but yeah. Very very suspicious on the readings of spirits being there. Although if they did go that angle, it would be nice if Jaune figured out he didn't actually want to be with Pyrrha lol. Like he spends time there with her and realises they never would have grown together, or she couldn't possibly grow with him, or he is Too Changed.

I have this horrible bitch opinion that actually it would NEVER have worked out, and the only reason everybody thinks it's great (fandom and, well, hem hem, in-universe) is because she died perfect, which is absolute fucking incredible irony, because she WASN'T perfect, and her actual struggle was feeling like she had to be perfect, and she was perfect, and she was going to be the handpicked, manipulated marionette Fall Maiden.

Like... there's some personal bias there because I think Jaune/Pyrrha is a laughably boring ship. It's boring, and I don't think they go very well together, and I think they only go together insofar as the anime trope demands that they do. The fact it ends as it does is the only thing interesting to me about it, because the show is basically like 'no moar anime trope 4 u', and there's also that wonderful, sort of vaguely evil and bitter element that Cinder gets to be the bestest awesomest Fall Maiden ever and Jaune is her soulmate, not Pyrrha's, lol.

I'm a terrible person.

I'm also not sure how much I, again, subscribe to Jaune having love-feelings for Pyrrha. I conferred with Best Mate who watched the show fresh for the first time, and has a long and storied anime history she would beat the shit out of me for mentioning on my blog if she knew, and she is of a similar opinion to me. It was cut-short before it was a love, which makes me less sympathetic towards readings that he was in Loves With Her Forevers and that informs every subsequent Pyrrha-related thing in the story, and also makes it impossible for him to move on. It'd be very weird if they did that.

Additionally weird on the front of Salem/Ozma. Salem never found anybody else, that's her wound, and she was always alone. It'd be really sad if he never had anybody because of the Beacon tragedy.

Yeah I am making my dollies kiss as always. Also never worry about length in asks. I only ask that if I do receive very long asks and it's on a critical topic, I get some context for what the person wants me to say and what their approach is. Otherwise I am baby and sometimes get confused. So in that case - longer is always better if you give me something to work with. On that note, your ask is not very long lol. I hope you enjoy the next Skimming Eye chapter. (o: I'm very interested in people reading it who are not diehard Knightfall fans, what does it do for you?

Also very glad you feel comfortable coming into my inbox. I know I can be a difficult bitch sometimes but as long as I’m given something to work with I’m generally always happy to chat. (o:

Also, I'm very flattered you want to draw art for it. That's so beautiful and I'm so touched, thank you. Please let me know if you end up posting it because I'd love to reblog it. What were you thinking of drawing?

Hope you have a lovely evening and work/college is going well!

#seraphina's asks #bitch jaune/pyrrha opinions #MINE not yours lol #user: rubyneo

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fiveisnumber1 · 3 years

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So after reading yesterday's oneshot I coincidentally came across a song I love that fit the H8 during the final minutes of the apocalypse. I know Five wasn't technically a part of them at the time but essentially it fits all of the younger group and their final thoughts and feelings. Also Five and Reader are together at the end and the rest of the group are together at the end so none of them are alone and I figured it felt flitting for how each would see the end based on their experiences. The song is Forever Young by Boy in Space: https://youtu.be/PpL0P_s6Fe8 and I just had to do a lyric analysis too cuz of course! It just fit so perfectly.

The H7:

"Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while. Heaven can wait, we're only watchin' the skies. Hopin' for the best, but expectin' the worst. Are you gonna drop the bomb or not? Ah"

This is obviously all of them together, trying to ignore the impending apocalypse. Dancing away the fear but they're also watching the skies and wondering if whatever is causing the apocalypse is gonna cause it or not. I feel like these lyrics paint the picture of them simultaneously trying to ignore the apocalypse while also waiting for it to happen so well!

Five:

"Let us die young or let us live forever. We don't have the power, but we never say never. Sittin' in a sandpit, life is a short trip. The music's for the sad man, ah"

Five literally experienced life in a sandpit of the world's ruins but even after getting back he didn't have enough time to live or even accomplish what he set out to do so hence his life being a "short trip". He knows he has very little power to stop the apocalypse and the commision has a lot but he keeps fighting for a better world anyway. And he wishes the commission would have let him die early in the apocalypse because technically he's lived a lot by seeing how it played out. If he dies then he'll have died young but also really old and despite how much he had fought, he feels his life is short anyway cuz he never had enough time to accomplish his goal which was to save his family and the Reader. Also the last line makes me think of Five seeing his favorite sibling on stage and Vanya's playing music which would always make him happy in their miserable home as a child but she's bringing the apocalypse with it this time and I feel like the line is a very good way to describe how the music is for a "sad man" cuz he was that sad man who had to live alone for decades.

Reader:

"Can you imagine when this race is won? Turn our golden faces into the sun. Praising our leaders, we're gettin' in tune. The music's played by the, the mad man"

This stanza for the Reader because she keeps hoping that they can win somehow. She wants to believe she has more time with the H7 and the UA and her beloved Five. And she wants to believe they can pat each other on the back for a job well done and she wants to believe she can be proud of the UA for getting their shit together to solve the apocalypse but then she also knows that they're damaged by the madman AKA Reggie who played their strings to a point where they will never be able to work together and they won't get in tune together in time to save the world.

Reader:

"Some are like water, some are like the heat. Some are the melody and some are the beat. Sooner or later, they all will be gone. Why don't they stay young? Ah"

I feel like this is Reader describing the Hargreeves personalities (Klaus and Ben are water, Luther and Diego are Heat, Vanya is a melancholy melody, Allison is a beat). She's wondering why the Hargreeves had to grow up and leave and why she had to time-travel and find them gone. She wonders why everything happened the way it did. Maybe if they never left the mansion and worked it out after she came to their time then things would have been different?

Five:

"It's so hard to get old without a cause. I don't want to perish like a fadin' horse. Youth's like diamonds in the sun. And diamonds are forever"

Five wanting to die in the apocalypse. To perish like everyone else but also not wanting to die without reason or meaning. He gives himself a cause to grow old and fight for cuz otherwise he has no reason to. And his youth and love and intelligence is like a diamond cuz even tho he travels back in time, he looks the same and his intelligence is the same and his love for his family is the same. It's forever. He doesn't want to fade away into oblivion without at least trying to do something to save the ones he loves.

The H7:

"So many adventures given up today. So many songs we forgot to play. So many dreams swingin' out of the blue. Oh let it come true"

The moment the H7 give up their normal lives to start fighting crime they give up their free time and energy willingly to fight and their ability to be normal children but at the end they have dreams they still wish they could fulfill. Being a younger UA was their dream and they fulfilled that. It came true. But the rest of their dreams coming true becomes difficult cuz of the apocalypse so they're wishing they all had more time.

All:

"Forever young. I wanna be forever young. Do you really wanna live forever? Forever and ever. Forever young. I wanna be forever young. Do you really wanna live forever? Forever young"

This part is the chorus and I feel is just for all of them. They're all so young in different ways. They don't want to live forever but they don't want to die so soon either without getting a chance to really live the life they each wanted. And also since they've all experienced so much in so little time, especially Five and Reader, I feel like it's also a way of saying they wish they were all mentally young as well. Even the H7 grew up faster to fight crime. So they all just want to enjoy youth without responsibility but will never get to. Five will never get to experience normal life the way he should have and Reader will never get to spend the rest of her youth with Five and her friends either.

It's just a tragedy all around as they all wish they could have had more time before it all ends cuz they are still young and have so much left to live for. And in a way they'd be eternally young then even after death cuz they never got to grow old.

Anyway, I'm really excited to hear your thoughts on this! I just loved how the song fit perfectly. I didn't even realize it myself at first but when I did I knew I had to share it because it just has this ethereal melancholy to it that I can see the H8 all feeling, individually and grouped together, as the apocalypse happens.

First of all I just want to say that I love the song forever young ever since I heard one direction sing and I haven’t grown out of my love for that song because of them. (Unrelated but I bet you can’t guess which one direction member is my favorite)

Anyway, I love your interpretation and I can definitely see all of this based on the side story I posted and just the story in general!

For the one line of “Sooner or later, they all will be gone. Why don’t they stay young?” I think it could also be applied to Reader’s thoughts about the H7, especially when they’re struggling to stop Vanya from causing the apocalypse. She didn’t know if they would stop Vanya and if she would see her friends again. She didn’t even know back at the bowling alley if that would be the last time she was with them. Reader knows that someday they’ll be gone but is coming to terms with the fact that it’s probably sooner than later due to Vanya’s apocalypse. And the question of why don’t they stay young is less so of pain like losing the UA but more so trying to comfort herself in the case the apocalypse does happen. They’re young and together and so why not be young?

Also I like to think of the lyrics “Let's dance in style, Let's dance for a while, Heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies, Hoping for the best but expecting the worst” in terms of Five and Reader as well. As a common theme throughout the story the two of them enjoy dancing together as it distracts them from the reality of what is going on. I like to think of these lines as Five coping with the impending 2019 apocalypse. He’s trying to enjoy being back in reader’s life again and distracting himself with her presence but he knows what happens after the world ends. Time is ticking towards doomsday and although he’s hoping he can stop it the closer it gets the more he expects the worse.

Anyway those are some of my thoughts but I love all that you presented and of course I love you too♥️

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