#(and now Im convinced this is what happens when you focus too much on editing and too little on actually having fun)

[hiddenspriings]

engaged 💍

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part three

authors note: hi! its me again. i had some free time and most of this chapter was completed, sans gaps and editing, so i figured why not?

thank you everyone for all of the kind words, like im still so floored just how many people like the random shit that comes from my head!!!

also, some tags don't seem to work for some reason, like when i type it, the hyperlink doesn't appear so super sorry to those impacted by that!!!

warnings: angsttttt, language, suggestive content

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

word count: 4.2k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wonderingfashion

You were sixteen years old the first time you drank alcohol. Truly, a result of peer pressure. Alcohol never seemed as amazing as your friends tried to preach it to be, not with the amount of hair you’d held back while your friends retched their entire days consumption in toilet bowls. 

Just didn’t seem all that appealing.

And then it was homecoming, and your school won the game, qualifying them for state. The whole town was in celebration, but no one was as lit as the football team. And, of course, dating the quarterback at the time and as cheer captain, your presence was damn near a requirement. High school politics and all.

So, you, Amir, and your closest friends spent the night house hopping, partying at one place for a little while before moving on to the next. And at some point, at some stop, you’d been convinced to try a beer. Honestly, it was disgusting as fuck, but a small part of you didn’t want to be the one prude of your group, so you downed it. And then another. Followed by another. Which preceded one more. 

And by the end of the night, you truly were white girl wasted.

You thank God that you had good friends at the time who made sure you made it home safely, because you absolutely did black out. Amir did too, hence him not being the one responsible for your care.

When you woke up that morning, the first thing you did was dart to the bathroom where you emptied your guts. The second? Panic. You were terrified of your mother finding out that not only had you engaged in underage drinking, literally violating the damn law, but you’d gotten so wasted that you blacked out. It was incredibly stupid and highly dangerous. Your chest tightened and stomach coiled at how she would react if and when she realized what you’d done.

That was the most scared and nervous you’ve ever been in your entire life.

Well, up until now.

Because all you can focus, think, and obsess about is the fact that Joe will be in your state, in your town, in your damn apartment in a matter of hours. He’d text you in the middle of the night a screenshot of his flight information indicating an arrival time much earlier than you were hoping for. 

Dread swept over as you sent him a message asking if he would stay at the same hotel he usually used when visiting, not that it got much use. He typically stayed with you during his visits. But, you offered to meet him there instead, feeling more comfortable if you were out of this setting, not in your apartment that had some type of reminder of Callie in damn near every room.

It took longer than you liked for him to respond, and his answer only served to increase your anxiety and trigger some anger.

No. I’m coming to you.

That was it, no explanation to your follow up texts which you know he read cause bastard had his read receipts on. Just radio silence.

That pissed you off even more, because why the hell was he ignoring you? Wasn’t he about to come talk to you about something anyway?

Oh.

Your stomach tightens. Not knowing what the hell he wants is driving you insane. You know why you reached out to him, but why did he seem so keen on speaking to you? It’d been nearly five years, what could have happened to trigger this sudden desire to reconnect?

And why the hell did he respond so quickly to your initial message? Truthfully, you expected no response whatever, convinced that he’d probably changed numbers after his massive increase in fame. Or, for him to at least hit you with the ‘who is this’? But, he didn’t, he called you and immediately knew who you were.

A tiny gasp leaves your mouth. That must have meant he still had your number saved, the same way you still have his in your contact list.

You….you don’t know what to make of that, don’t know what to make of it at all.

“Mommy, why am I spending the night with Aunt Mariah?”

Callie’s soft voice temporarily eases you from your panic, granted it also makes you aware of how she’s clearly unhappy about this. You know why too. Sundays are always your ‘special days,’ where you spend the entire day together doing the most random of things from baking, to playing game, to random dance parties that sometimes result in neighbors politely asking you to keep the noise down. It’s a tradition, and this is the first time since starting said tradition that it won’t be happening. 

Closing up her drawer where you were just digging for some pajamas for her, you move to sit next to her on her bed. Her head is down as she plays with the stuffed animal in her arms. “I’m sorry, baby. I know this is our day, but mommy just has some business she has to take care of.”

She keeps her head down, voice low. “Can’t you do it tomorrow?

Fuck. You hate disappointing her. “I wish, baby, but it can’t wait.” More like he won’t wait. You’re not sure what you would have proposed regarding a time to discuss, well, Callie, but it certainly wouldn’t have been the next damn day. “Hey, how about this? Why don’t you and I stay home tomorrow and have a special special day on Monday?”

At that, her head lifts, eyes sparkling with renewed excitement. “Really?”

“Yup. Mommy can take some time off, and you can miss a day of school. It won’t kill us.” You rarely ever take time off as it is, mostly because a teacher’s salary isn’t anything to write home about. You have to work your ass off to keep a roof over your and Callie’s head. But also….you’re not even sure what frame of mind you’re going to be in following this meeting with Joe, so better safe than sorry. “But only if we can watch The Lion King first.”

Clearly pleased with this compromise, she offers you her pink finger. “Deal!”

You two seal the deal with a pinky swear as you hold her into your side and sigh heavily. You wish that you two could stay like this forever. “I love you, Callie. Okay? Always remember that.”

________

“He’s what?”

You anxiously chew on the nasty ass protein bar Mariah offered you after you realized you’d barely had anything to eat today. It was a part of the latest dietary plan she was following, probably something she found from one of those weird ass dieting groups she was a member of on Facebook.

You loved Mariah, dearly, but as you two grew older, especially after having her baby boy, Micah, she’d become increasingly insecure about her body. Always the smaller, thinner, more athletic of the two, you knew that she struggled with how much weight she’d put on over the years, especially when her plan to drop the baby weight didn’t pan out. You're not sure she’s lost any of it, to be honest. 

It wasn’t even a massive weight gain, and truthfully, you thought curves suited her well. But, it didn’t matter what you thought. What mattered was how she felt, which wasn’t the best, despite your best efforts to build up her confidence.

“He’s coming into town,” you finally answer, debating if you should offer her the rest of this grass in bar form. Why the hell is it so damn grainy?

“Today? He’s coming into town today?” You nod. “I’m sorry, I must have missed a couple chapters.”

“More like volumes,” you murmurs, sourly. It’s a great opportunity for you to set aside the dirt bar and explain to her everything she’d missed, from Callie’s initial inquiry to your calling him, to him sending you an itinerary for a flight arriving in roughly three hours at this point.

“Holy shit,” she whispers, careful of her volume despite Micah and Callie being occupied in the living room watching Bluey. “What are you going to do? What are you going to say to him? This is….this is bad, girl.”

“You think I don’t know that?” You lay your head against her kitchen island and force yourself to take three, big, deep breaths. “I don’t think I can do this.” 

You hear her exhale. “Don’t say that.”

“I’m serious, Mo. I—” You lift your head and try your best not to cry. Tears won’t do anything to help the situation. “I don’t know what he wants, but it’s obvious he’s angry with me already, and I can’t imagine when I tell him about Callie that he’s gonna feel any better.”

“You think he’ll be upset?”

“Of course, he will.”

“No, not that. I mean, yeah definitely, about that. But, I mean, you know….that you kept her.” It takes a minute for you to process what she’s asking, and it’s a question you hadn’t thought about in some time.

You’d been so consumed about how upset he would probably be that you kept Callie hidden from him that you hadn’t considered the alternative. What if he was more upset she even existed in the first place?

The thought alone takes you to a dark place. Feelings of rejection and abandonment that you yourself experienced and probably haven’t fully processed. Feelings you swore with your life you’d always protect Callie from. 

And always will.

“Then he’ll continue to not be a part of her life.” Your voice is sound and resolute. Mariah also recognizes that all too familiar look of determination that fills your face. 

“But what will you tell her then?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out.” A motto, a mantra, an oath. You’ve hit hard times before and always pulled through. This will be no different. Whatever's needed to keep your daughter from the trauma you experienced, you’ll do. No matter what.

Mariah knows better than to try to reason with you right now, not that there’s a ton of that needed. As a mother herself, she fully understands the intrinsic desire and borderline need to protect your child. She just also knows that you can be stubborn, and when you put your mind to something, nothing and no one can change it.

She just wonders how that’s going to bode over with whatever is about to go down.

You finish off the conversation with thanking her again for her last minute availability. You know you could have asked your mom as well, but she would have had questions, questions you don’t have the answers for nor the desire to explain just what’s happening.

Hell, you don’t even fully know what’s happening. 

As the time gets closer, you realize you need to get home and straighten up. Maybe vacuum or some shit. 

“Will you call me before I go to bed?”

“Of course, I will, mama.” You push back some of her hair, hating to see her sad again. She’s wearing that pout that you just realized is similar to Joe when he scowls. Shoving that from your head, you add, “and don’t forget about our big day tomorrow.”

That seems to win you a small smile, enough to make you feel less shitty about ditching her, even if it’s completely beyond your control. “It’s gonna be so much fun!”

“You bet your butt it is, kiddo!” You bring her in for another hug, holding her close and tight. “I love you, Callie Bear.”

“I love you too, mama.” 

Callie expressing her love for you is the soundtrack in your head as you drive home and even as you move around your apartment, dusting and vacuuming. You even clean the baseboard, something you’re sure you haven’t done since you first moved in when you were 22. 

You even make the controversial decision to leave up the photos of Callie or both you and Callie together in the living room and don’t really do much to move aside the indicators that a child lives here. Like her toy bucket near the TV or pink kiddy cups lined up near the kitchen sink. 

It doesn’t make much sense to you to hide these things when the sole reason you even reached out is to make him aware of why those things are there and who they belong to. You’ve stopped letting yourself try to figure out why he wants to speak to you or why he’s upset, realizing it was only making your anxiety ten times worse to the point where you felt like you were going to vomit.

Recognizing you have some time before he arrives, you decide to take a shower that’s much longer than necessary and will probably have you upset at yourself when you get your next water bill. 

But, it’s a nice distraction. Being fresh, clean, and moisturized is always a nice pick me up. Granted, you find it almost silly as you struggle to figure out what to wear. It’s Joe. Not Beyonce. Also, your outfit should be the last thing on your mind, as you eventually settle on a graphic shirt and some shorts. 

And realizing you have nothing else to do, you plop down on the sofa and wait. Wait for whatever the hell is about to happen once you open that door. Strangely enough, your anxiety seems to be settling. Granted, you wonder if that’s being replaced with denial, because you’re also starting to tell yourself that it won’t be that bad.

It may not be, but that’s not a good hill to die on. Preferred but not reliable. 

Needing another distraction, you scroll aimlessly through your Instagram, liking a few posts of friends, family, and former classmates from both high school and college. It’s interesting seeing how everyone ventured down different paths, some homemakers, some business execs, and of course the aspiring musicians aka unemployed. 

And then there was you, the small town teacher raising her secret love child of a WWE superstar in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. 

Your stomach twisting and turning tells you the anxiety is returning, but it doesn’t have as much time to heighten because the doorbell rings.

He’s here.

There’s this irritating yet quiet ringing in your ears and anchor on your chest, both of which make it harder to untangle your limbs and move off the sofa. It’s like watching yourself slowly make your way to the door, the tremble in your hand noticeable as you undo the lock and start to turn the knob. 

I love you too, mama.

Callie’s sweet, reassuring voice floods into your head providing the sweet relief needed to return from dissociation and snap back to reality. Eyes shutting, you take another deep breath and carefully swing the door open.

Truth be told, you weren’t quite sure what you expected to feel upon seeing Joe again, not sure what you should feel. This was a reunion, but only in name. Nothing about him being at your doorstep was warm and inviting. That much is obvious by his stoic, unreadable facial expression, which isn’t entirely out of character. Contrary and both similar to his current heel portrayal, Joe has always been more on the quiet side, not as easy to read. More open and warm once you get to know him.

You’d found that out firsthand.

Taking in his countenance, you can’t avoid observing the rest of him. He’s somehow even bigger than the last time you saw him in person, almost taking up your doorway, rippling muscles on full display in the plain, black fitted shirt he wears. His hair is pulled back as usual, clean line up, and beard fuller than you remembered him liking it. He’s aged, obviously, but well. Very well.

Heat rising to your cheeks, you step to the side, allowing him inside. You hate how you close your eyes as you inhale his scent.

He always did smell so damn good.

The physical distractions dissipate when he’s inside, the door locked, and it’s just the two of you. 

You notice almost immediately how he seems to be intent on keeping his back toward you, playing it off by taking in your apartment. Not that much, if anything, has changed. He can’t be that damn interested. 

It was painfully clear that Joe was already frustrated with you just by his texts, but his anger is even more palpable in person, borderline suffocating. 

Just what the hell did you do to upset him so much?

Clearing your throat and crossing your arms over, you decide that someone needs to say something because this silent shit is not working for you.

But then Joe angles his body, still not looking toward you but something else. And that’s when your anxiety starts up all over again.

You watch him, intently, as he walks over to the side table near the sofa, the one that has pictures on it. 

Pictures of Callie. 

He picks one up, and you’ve never been so still in your life. It’s torture, not seeing how he’s looking, unable to read his facials, clueless to what he must be thinking. He’s quiet for too long, so you decide to bite the bullet and say something. 

“I—”

“Is she mine?”

Waves. Heavy, plunging waves of emotions splash at you with a ferocity that nearly floors you. His question, so simple, isn’t what you expected to leave his mouth. It’s posed so quietly, lowly, emotion evident but not enough for you to know which one. Anger? Sadness? Confusion?

It stumps you, and for a second, you try to convince yourself that he doesn’t mean what you deep down know what he means. 

“What–what are you talking about?”

He curses quietly, and you hear him say your name before he asks again in a dangerously calm voice, “is she mine?”

You recognize this tone, the tone he takes when he’s trying his best to tame his temper, but there’s no guarantee that he can. And that in and of itself is not a good sign, Joe rarely ever gets mad. He’s irritatingly adept at maintaining his composure in all situations. 

Except this one.

You just want to take a nap, take a break from all of this. Everything seems to be happening so fast, too fast. It wasn’t even 24 hours ago that Callie first asked about her father, and now the man is standing in front of you asking you to confirm she is his daughter. You’re so confused about everything. How could he tell so easily? You always said and thought she favored him, but did she favor him enough for him to take one look at her and know she’s his daughter?

That doesn’t even seem possible nor plausible. 

You have so many questions, but there’s no need in delaying the inevitable.

Rip the Band-Aid off.

“Yes.” 

It’s at that moment he finally decides to turn around, and you can see the moment it happens, the moment the floodgate of emotions rush through him like a tsunami. He’s shocked. He’s confused. He’s angry.

“How did you find out?” Putting the pieces together is a slow progress, but one that’s progressing nonetheless. He clearly came here with that question prepared and ready to launch. He knew about Callie, knew when you texted him, knew when he decided to call. Knew before he even walked in and saw a picture of her.

He just needed you to confirm as such. 

That seems to be the wrong question, because anger is suddenly more prominent, both vocally and physically. “You’re seriously asking me how the fuck I found out I have a daughter?” Any attempt to control his anger is out the door, replaced with visceral emotions. “No, the real question is why the fuck you didn’t tell me I have a child?”

You’re not sure what it is, the emotionality of it all, the fact that you’re face to face with the man you’ve worked so hard over the years to get over, or even just the fact that he’s speaking to you this way. Maybe all of it. Regardless, you’re not about to just take it lying down. “First of all, watch your tone. You’re not going to talk to me any kind of way. Second of all, you are married, Joe. What was I supposed to do? Send you and your wife copies of the sonogram?”

“Don't put this on that,” he dismisses, swiftly and curtly. “Jadah has nothing to do with you telling me I'm a father. Don't you think I had a fucking right to know?”

“Of course you had a right.” He did. He does. You won’t deny him that, but it’s also not as cut and dry as he’s making it out to be. “But—”

“There’s no but, Y/N!” He cuts you off, and you have to take another deep breath. This time though, it’s not to lessen anxiety. It’s to calm your own anger that’s rising. Who the hell does he think he is to speak to you this way? Like you’re some damn child. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Are you going to actually listen to me, or are you just going to keep yelling? Cause I don’t respond to disrespect, Joe. You know this.”

He actually smiles, smiles at your words. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? I’m disrespecting you? You keep my child from me, and I’m disrespecting you?” He scoffs and looks up at the ceiling, probably to settle himself. “Did you know when you ended things between us?"

The surprising questions just keep on rolling. “What?”

“I swear to God.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. “Did you know you were pregnant when you told me to leave? Is that why you did it? So I wouldn’t find out?”

This time, you’re the one scoffing, trying to rationalize how he could even think to ask you this. “Seriously, Joe? I told you why I ended things.”

“Yeah, well, you’re clearly not the most honest fucking person, so I don’t even know what to believe anymore.” 

You hate the fact that his words don’t further anger you but instead sadden you. You see how he’s looking at you, with a level of disdain and disgust. It’s such an unfamiliar experience, an unwanted one. “So, I’m a liar now?” It should have come out much stronger, firmer, showing him that you’re not putting up with his bullshit. Instead, it’s a damn near whisper.

He looks at you like you’ve grown two heads, like he doesn’t get what you’re not getting about this. “What do you call what you did?”

Your head is starting to hurt. This is going exactly how you feared it would go. 

Bad.

It’s all becoming too much, your voice weighed down with the emotions of it all. You feel like you’re on the verge of tears, and you hate that. You won’t let him see you cry. “We’re not….we’re not getting anywhere here, Joe. I think—”

“You should get a lawyer.”

Your heart stops. “What?”

He runs both hands over his face, the heaviness of this conversation clearly weighing on him as well. “We need to figure out some type of custody arrangement, and I don’t think us handling it with each other is a good idea—”

“Custody?” The room is starting to blur again, items moving wayward and sideways. The ringing in your ears is also returning. “What—you—you want to take her from me?” You need to sit down, your legs feeling like they’re ready to give out at any moment. Take her. He wants to take her from you. Unable to control yourself, you snap, “she doesn’t even know you!”

He matches your tone and volume precisely, clearly unwilling to back down. “Exactly, I’m her father, and she doesn’t know me because of you!”

You can barely believe the words coming out his mouth, incapable of processing that he’s actually standing here threatening to take your child from you. This has gone from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. “So, you think taking her away from me is the way to get to know her?”

His volume levels down a bit, and you could have sworn you saw a glimpse of sympathy. “I don’t want to take her away from you, Y/N. I just can’t trust you to not keep her away from me.”

This is disastrous. You never could you have envisioned this conversation playing out the way it is. Desperate, you move over to him, needing him to see you, to hear you, really hear you. “You’re here now, aren’t you? Isn’t that enough?” 

His answer surprises you with its austerity. He’s so angry. “No, because it took almost five fucking years for you to call me in the first damn place.”

He moves away from you, obviously headed for the door. He has nothing else to say. Your head is throbbing, vision still murky, but you manage to rush past him, obstructing his leave. “Joe….wait.”

You’ve never felt so small, so desperate, so helpless in your life. It’s reminiscent of the last conversation you had with him five years prior, that same boulder on your chest, bigger now. Much bigger. 

“Please.” You’re not even trying to hold in the tears anymore. That’s not even important. Not in the slightest. This is your child.  “Please don’t take her away from me. She’s my baby, Joe. She—she’s never even been without me before.”

He looks at you, and you can see it now. Finally see it. Finally see past all of the hurtful threats, the dismissiveness, the refusal to hear you out. He’s not angry. He’s hurt. “And she’s never been with me.” He moves past you, but not before one last statement. “Maybe now you’ll know how I feel.”

________

just curious, ya'll think joe trippin? personally, i'm team callie cause both reader and joe are wrong in one way or another but im also biased so ignore me.

[wolfpawzjakey]

Prompt - It Was All a Dream.

Jercy.

Brief description - Percy wakes up in the infirmary of Camp Jupiter and thinks that he dreamed of Jason's death and funeral, but Reyna and Annabeth, who were next to him, tell him that it was real... And Jason is really dead.

I will be very glad if you answer :)

Thank you thank you 🤲🏻

So, I wrote this without editing and rereading it. Writing ideas vs actually writing is hard. I’m working thru a writing block so thank you for sending this to me because maybe I’ll actually write something in full again one day 😎 (im crying under the shades)

-

Percy wasn’t unused to death. He was well accustomed to it in fact. He’d neared it himself on many occasions. He’d killed others with him own hands and actions. Death weighed on him, but living his life meant he had no other choice but to deal. Death wasn’t a friend or an enemy, he’d always fear it but knowing its certainty had made it a more comfortable burden to have.

But this death, this death had his system on high alarm. It was too soon, too much of a surprise for him to be able to process what was happening but it was right in front of him. Here he was, watching the life drain from the eyes of his boyfriend, the person he loved the most. It was not meant to happen right now, it couldn’t be happening right now.

But now? He could feel the blood between his fingers mixed with the gritty texture of the dirt from the ground as he tried so hardly to stop it from seeping out as fast as it did. His throat and chest is filled with cement and razors as his voice reaches his own ears like he’s underwater. He can feel the blood seeping into his keens from where he kneels aside Jason’s fading body while Jason’s eyes fight to focus on Percy or anything actually. His words are distorted, he can’t even make out what he’s saying to Jason but he knows it’s filled with dead end attempts as reassurance (both directed at Jason and himself… mostly himself). And gods, the thing he feels the most is Jason’s breathing coming to a slow stop, he feels as his chest starts to shake and stutter, and how each breath becomes less frequent and more spaced apart. How his last few breaths make his chest rise so high before falling like there’s a weight holding his lungs down. Then he sees his eyes dull entirely, no longer that human like glistening that reminds you someone’s alive. He looks silently at Jason’s still body, a body that is so familiar but now so pale and dead eyed. It’s like he’s somehow looking at a stranger now, because there’s just no way that Jason would leave him like this. There’s no way. So, he just sits, hands still pressed over the no longer bleeding wound. Jason’s still warm, he couldn’t possibly be gone.

When he’s shaken from the trance he’s fallen into, all hell breaks loose. He screams and sobs, holding on as his friends desperately try to pull him off. His hands slip away from Jason’s body… and then he’s sat up, eyes frantically searching the new surroundings for the horrific scene he’d just been in. His hands are clean, he’s not wearing the clothes he was in, there’s no blood anywhere on him. And then there’s Annabeth and Reyna, they’re looking at him with concern which means he must’ve been the one in danger right? Because Jason couldn’t be dead, right?

No, no, Jason wasn’t dead. That had just been a dream, it was easy to convince himself that he’d just be able to get up and go into another room of the medical bay and Jason would be there, healing just like him if he wasn’t just out elsewhere. Of course, Jason was fine. Relief flooded his body and coursed through his veins because of course Jason couldn’t be dead. Percy has had these types of dreams again, why wouldn’t it happen now too?

“Percy?” That was Annabeth’s voice, “Perce, are you okay?”

“I think so.” He says, sigh heavy as it leaves his lungs. “I don’t feel that much pain anywhere, I think I’m okay.”

“That’s… good.” She says back, but her smile stays sad, and that’s never a good side. Reyna looks closed off too, which is also not a good sign, but he just couldn’t understand why? Had he been injured that bad? Had something gone wrong when he was?

“Percy,” Annabeth starts again, her voice is guarded and gentle, it’s not unlike Annabeth but again, it’s not usually a good sign. “I’m asking more so… are you okay? After what happened?”

What happened? Panic flashes through him, fast paced images of Jason’s lifeless body and his body all over Percy, but that, it was just a dream right? “What do you mean ‘after what happened’? Annabeth, what happened?”

Her face falls and Reyna’s darkens more than he thought it could. “Percy, I’m sorry but Jason’s dead. You were inconsolable, you fainted after we’d tried to take you away. But… he’s gone.” And Percy’s world shatters again.

He doesn’t yell and cry this time, he doesn’t struggle and nor does he get up to leave the room, he just sits there. Annabeth wouldn’t lie about this, Reyna wouldn’t let anyone lie about this. It was real. The dream in its entirety was real. The grit and slide of blood and dirt between his fingers. The iron scent of the blood that soaked into his jeans. The harsh and slowing breathing echoing through the room. It was all real.

[onmyyan]

Hi!! Your answer to my last question about Cas and his family made me so softt-

I have a question if you don't mind? But are there any types of people that the Delmont family kinda wouldn't approve of for their family members? Or are they sure that the men of the family can handle whatever kind of darling they desire?

Also I love the image of teen Caspian in the kitchen! I kinda imagine him in there with his Ma just humming a little tune and jebeksnwk, I just love him sm! I bet his mom is super kind and sweet! I wanna just dance around with him in the kitchen while things bake while belting some silly little song-

Sorry for sending so much! I just really enjoy your writings and the way you tell things! Have a good day or night and it's okay to take a break and eat a snack in case you haven't today!

A/N: Omgggg sweet anon you never have to apologize for sending in asks I love writing its so much fun!!! And his family is a riot I adore them so much🖤❤ also im sorry if I'm posting too much Caspian content (EDITED 12/16/22)

T/W: Yandere shenanigans, Cas fantasizes about a future family

Fun fact! He still does this cute humming thing while he cooks! Most of the time he doesn't even notice he's doing it until he sees you've paused what you're in the middle of to smile at him in a way that pulls his focus from the stove. If he catches you singing it's a whole thing, he'll turn up the song and take your hand, the way he fully committed to his role made it impossible to feel embarrassed. Seeing such a large, imposing man, belt out ABBA with full seriousness is a sight.

The first time you meet his Mother you're shaking like a leaf, terrified to make the wrong impression and scare off Caspian (something that was quite literally impossible.) He's both incredibly touched you were so worried but also lived in a constant state of needing to assure your happiness, so he tried everything he could to convince you she'd love you, that no matter what happened he'd be leaving this place just as in enamored as he came in but you couldn't be pacified, that is until you met her and the small woman threw herself around you with the warmest smile.

She'd gush over you to Caspian as she greeted him the same, her warm welcome wouldn't stop there as she, like her son, showed her love through food and had made a feast for what looked like an entire family.

Caspian barely got a word in the way you two talked and laughed with one another, he could really cry at the sight, especially when she hopped up asking for your help finishing the desserts she'd made just for the occasion. It was like a filter had gone over his eyes, he could see it now, a few kids running around the house the same way he and his brothers did, his mother would be sitting there giving pointers and stealing bits of the fruit you'd have brought from your garden back home. He'd have his youngest on his hip, the other hand would be feeding you from a spoon for the obligatory taste test. He was only pulled out of the fantasy by the sounds of your combined laughter.

Now as for if they have approval issues with darlings.

There's this unspoken rule, that while they'll share the most base-level things about them, they are not to interfere with each other's darlings unless specifically asked.

If they didn't strictly follow these rules, disaster would strike. Take the time in High school when Gabe and Ricky found out they both had their eyes on the same girl, they were on each other like dogs, both bloody and bruised because while Gabriel was much bigger, Ricky had this scary state he'd fall into where he just wailed on someone or something until he wasn't angry anymore if the others tried to step in they risked getting pulled into the scrap, it only stopped because their Mother came home, she rushed inside once she heard the commotion and snatched both of them up by the ear.

After their shared punishment of cleaning the whole house, they'd come up with the system they still used today, all in an effort to keep the peace. Both agreed to share the names and photos of their darling in their brothers-only group chat from that point on, that way if anyone had something to say they could before said brother got attached, Caspian had always found the system stupid and only ever agreed to it to get the younger two off his ass, he followed his heart and wouldn't stop until he had you securely in his arms. Damn what anyone said.

And yet, that first night after he met you he found himself sending over the most recent selfie you'd uploaded, he found your socials seconds after finding your full name and waited on bated breath for their response.

Gabe: 'She's cute, you meet her in that class you took today? Need any info?' Gabe was always the best at getting information fast, people loved him which meant he had connections.

'No thanks- I wanna do it myself.' He shot back, the second he sent that picture your fate had been sealed with him entwined.

Marcos: 'Took you long enough, any problems?'

That was Marcos for "Does she have anyone in her life in the way you want me to handle?"

'So far so good, no rats on the runway.' His two youngest brothers had a taste for violence and often enjoyed the process of clearing off those rats. He knew if he needed something done messy and mean, Marcos was the man.

Ricky: 👍

Caspian rolled his eyes not expecting much more from his enigma of a sibling. And lastly, he waited on his hardest to please family members.

Manny had yet to respond, instead, about fifteen minutes passed then Caspian received a call.

"You serious about her Cas?"

"As a heart attack little man." The nickname was a cheap play but he knew it soothe his violently protective little brother. "I gotta wait a minute before then but when she's ready for it I'd love for you to meet her Manny." He heard a shaky inhale before a deep sigh, ever the unpredictable one, he soon flipped his tone, now sounding like the 22-year-old he was, "You gotta' tell me everything Cas! What's she like? Does she smell good? Do you have a ton in common or is it like opposites attract kinda thing??" He'd spend the whole night on the phone dishing to his brother, the weight off his chest gone.

All in all, they play it safe!! Although in a fucked up timeline they all want the same Darling- Oh baby you are gone.

[prentissluvr]

HIII MARIIII

im back with big brother! sammy thoughts :333

so like im half way through season 7 and yk how sam dean and bobby are like living off the grid bc of the Leviathans, what if they were traveling with younger sibling! reader, not on no little kid type,

like teenager almost finished with high school type, and theyre trying to finish school while also trying to capture the Leviathan and keep theyre head

and sam is trying his best to keep his head with Lucifer and also catch the Leviathans while also trying to keep readers head so they dont like drop out of school??? YKWIM? this sounds so request-y I DONT MEAN FOR IT TO BE i just wanna pick your brain 🙁🙏🏽🙏🏽

anyway, love ya!

- alex ⭐️

AGHHH YAY !!! i’m just the hugest sucker for all things big brother sam sigh <33

AND DWWW this is perfect id love love to give my thoughts!!! tysm for sending this is and for providing context so i can remember LMAOOO

but i love this idea!! like i imagine having to go off the grid like. right during the last few months of readers senior year. and it’s good because you don’t have that much homework and all that, but it’s still incredibly important to get everything done so you can graduate. and i can imagine sam doing everything in his power to work with the last school you attended to have them let you finish your assignments through email almost like independent study.

and he’s doing this all while suffering with literal hallucinations😃 but he makes up this sob story (that’s obviously nothing compared to your actual situation) and he uses his perfect gentleman, super sweet older brother charm to convince them over the phone.

it’s just poor poor sam juggling all of this, fighting to keep himself, to get out of this situation, to keep everything else off your shoulders so you can focus on school. and every spare moment he tries to help you with your school work. one day, you're working on a final paper, and he's been sitting there with you, helping you edit, when he falls asleep without meaning to. he hates falling asleep. nightmares. and he'll feel awful about falling asleep on you when you need his help.

but you're alright with it. he already helped you fix the section you were unsure about, and you're almost done anyways. the rest is easy enough, and though you're exhausted out of your mind, it's nice to see sam sleep. you rarely do. you send your teacher your final draft and settle on the couch with him, too tired to get up.

sam does jolt awake from a nightmare. but he's easily grounded when he wakes, for once. you're there, your soft and sleeping form pressed against his side. you don't even stir when he flinches because your body is so exhausted. he still feels guilty when he realizes what happened, but he opens your laptop to see that you finished hours ago, not long after he fell asleep. he doesn't feel too bad. instead, he's glad to see you sleeping. you look different when you sleep, because he's gotten so used to the way that you look tired and stressed all the time now. that sends a pang through his heart when he realizes it. that overwhelming sense of protectiveness that he has for you washes over him like a damn hurricane, especially because your sleeping form looks so vulnerable. open and soft and unprotected except for him.

at least he can wrap an arm around you and fix the angle of your neck. at least you still trust him and love him and ask him for help on school assignments. at least you're there at all. sam can't wait for you to graduate. he knows that you can. he can't wait for you to have that. he can't wait to get you out of this all, if you'll let him.

[actualbird]

idk if this is a controversial opinion but with all the au talk of a happier luke/luke without suffering, it's fun to think about but it feels like it undermines what the message from the benji card was trying to tell us? like my wish for luke is that whether he ends up with rosa or not... he'll be fine regardless (even if it takes him longer to realize or with the help of other people). it kinda feels like a "we have to save him" narrative in which the only happy ending for luke is that if he gets together with rosa (or in another case, if he never got sick in/got into nsb the first place? though not saying that non nsb luke wouldn't come with other sets of problems idk eeeee) i just want the little baby boy to be ok no matter the situation :(

hi anon!!! idt it's a controversial opinion and i agree with you!! tho i also dont think it's like....particularly mutually exclusive, if that makes sense?

i adore u bringing up SSR Dream of Benji because 1) man i love that card story and 2) i can super see where your coming from clearly when u bring up that card. the card where luke himself wonders so hard if only he made different choices, he wouldnt be "locked" into the the "destiny" of pain and suffering, the card where mc implores him to not focus so much on what-ifs and accept that there is always the hope and possibility for joy and love even in a life that will have pain. in terms of parallels, it's clear to see. when making aus, are we doing the same thing luke did in that card?

ehhhh not rlly? i think it depends? UHAJVFASLFHAV. like, forgive me for im about to get meta and whatnot but i think whats key here is intent and purpose. luke did all his wondering about happier/better what-ifs due to a mix of resignation to his fate and also self-loathing. it's why i used the word "locked" awhile ago; he thought his fate was inevitable due to his choices and that better things were futile. whereas, in exploring AUs it's less of like—and here is my belated note that ofc i can only speak for myself cuz im not a mind reader or anything kjHVKJSDF—it's less of being convinced of the futility of what timeline!luke we're seeing but more just a want to Explore. i love AUs and will always support its intent of exploration outside of the realm of canon, it's a place of curiosity and possibilities! and maybe the reason it's coming out a bunch now is simply cuz main story stuff has been quite emotionally jarring ajfvaJHLV I CANNOT FAULT ANYONE FOR WANTING FLUFF IN THESE TIMES YKNOW. I WANT THE FLUFF TOO.....I HUNGER FOR IT!!!

[EDIT: i realize a simpler way to word everything above is "miles morales voice: I CAN DO BOTH!!!!!!" yknow. we can love AUs and love canon!]

but overall i do very much agree with your sentiment; i also want for luke to get better, i want him to eventually live a happy life no matter what timeline hes in. in my mind's eye, his recovery is possible in All universes. it's just harder in some and easier in others. in timelines where he acquires his condition, i dont think the lynchpin-catalyst for him bettering himself is necessarily in a romantic relationship with mc, but in the general concept of just like.......connecting and allowing himself to be emotionally vulnerable and honest with another human being, creating a support system with the people around him, letting himself be okay with needing help. im a big believer in platonic love and found fam so even in an timeline where nobody in the nxx team starts dating each other, so long as luke can make that choice to let people in, i think he'll get better. not perfect, not magically cured, and definitely not easily, but still better.

at the end of the day i actually dont see luke's most damning cause of suffering to be his condition (because as we can see from his personal story route, he can deffo find joy even with it). rather, it's his outlook on himself and letting himself be open with others. it just so happens that due to the romance genre of tot, that his outlook changes due to romantic love.

sorry to be a pretentious dweeb and bring up song lyrics jhvKJHVJSHDFVS BUT THERES JUST THIS SONG IVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH LATELY THAT CAME INTO MY MIND WHEN ANSWERING THIS, Complicated Creation by Cloud Cult

I called up the moon for a little consultation Yes, you know that I'm a happy man But something in me is burning I gotta push it, push it out, push it, push it out So much frustration The moon called me back And said "I'll give you some advice [...] If you rid of all your baggage you will likely float away But you can't know beauty if you don't know pain Gotta feel it, feel it all, feel it, feel it all There's your medication

i bring these up cuz at the crux of it.....to me, luke's entire narrative and character (regardless of timeline and AU) is hinged on the central conflict of "am i doomed to pain? how can i be happy if there is so much suffering?" and really the answer is "pain, one way or another, is Going to happen. and so will joy. but to get there, you have to open yourself up to both, you have to work through both, you have to let both in. no running away, no giving up"

i think luke will be okay

[seokjinsdisciple]

Backward

mark x reader (SMUT, fluff (because im soft), and more smut)

when you run into your douchebag ex at a party, you grab the nearest stranger and drag them into pretending to be your boyfriend. You just didn’t expect this stranger to be so hot. 

warnings: sex, language, unprotected sex (be safe kids), drinking, fingering, fingering in a semi-public place?, female receiving oral, the phrase good girl is only mentioned once (aren’t you proud of me?)  idk im probably forgetting something so if i am just let me know

i didn’t really edit this so....sorry for any mistakes

word count: 2.1k (im a hoe for mark, ok?)

It happened at a stupid party that your best friend forced you to go to. The alcohol was cheap, and tasted disgusting, but at least it got you drunk. You put on a little bit more of a revealing outfit than you normally would, because you normally didn’t care. This party was supposed to make you feel better after the stressful work week you just had. Unfortunately, this party put you in the same room as your scumbag ex. Who, by the looks of it, was doing way better without you than you were doing without him. You groaned when you saw his silhouette, and almost pulled your hair out when he started to approach you. If you hadn’t had so much to drink, you would be mortified to do what you are about to do, but you are drunk, and you want to prove your stupid, smug ex wrong. 

So, you confidently approach a (very) attractive man who had been (innocently) standing near you at the time of the sighting. You take the last few sips of your drink before placing your hand on his arm, just in time for your ex to start a conversation. 

“Oh, hey! I noticed you from across the room. How’re you doing?” He questions, looking the man next to you up and down. At his suspicious glances, you loop your arm into the stranger's, smiling back at him. 

“We are doing great,”I smiled squeezing the stranger’s arm and praying that he will go along with what I’m about to do, “This is my boyfriend.”

“I’m Mark,” the stranger stuck out his hand, clasping my ex’s and shaking it firmly. Your ex was clearly shocked, having been convinced that he was the only good thing you could ever have. Douchebag. However, sizing up the man next to you, your ex quickly figured out he was in a losing fight. This guy was beyond handsome, and he was polite, something your ex could never claim to be. You and your new “boyfriend” made conversation with your ex, and when you started to get visibly uncomfortable, Mark said he wanted to go dance. Like you savior, he swept you away, only breaking character when the two of you made it to the dance floor. When he was sure your ex was preoccupied, he led you to the kitchen to get another drink.

“What would my beautiful girlfriend’s name be?” Mark asked, chuckle on his lips at this whole situation. You swiftly answered him, shying away from his handsome face.

“I’m so sorry about that,” you started, “My ex is kinda a douchebag and I really can’t stand the idea that he is better off without me.”

“It’s no problem, I’m glad I could rescue such a stunning girl,” Mark smiled, handing you one of the drinks he had just made,  “By the way, if he let a girl like you go, he’s definitely not better off.”

After that, the two of you immediately hit it off. You were talking throughout the whole party, making each other laugh and completely ignoring the people you came with. There was something so familiar about Mark, something that made you feel comfortable. Things with Mark just felt right. 

It wasn’t long before you found yourself grinding against him on the dance floor. It started as a show for your ex, but his hands started traveling up your legs, his lips started finding the sensitive spots on your neck. To say you were bothered would be an understatement. You could feel the stickiness in your underwear, and you could feel Mark’s length pressing against your ass. You felt his hands graze against the hem of your skirt, his fingers dancing to your inner thigh, and then quickly moving away. If he could tease, you could too. 

You moved your hands into his hair, pulling lightly. You smirked at the quiet moan he let out, but the smirk dropped off of your face as he pulled you even closer than you were before. His grip on your hips was tight, and at this point, you wouldn’t be surprised if your arousal were dripping down your legs. 

You whimpered as he lightly bit your ear, whispering, “Please come home with me, I need to make you cum.”

You would be lying if you said you hesitated at all. Truth be told, you turned around faster than he could even finish his sentence, your frenzied lips finding his with ease. He met your kiss with just as much passion, and for a moment, both of you forgot you were in the middle of a dance floor, surrounded by people. You whined as he broke the kiss, but he just took your hand, pulling you away from the crowd to call an uber. 

If you thought you were turned on before you got in the uber, you had no idea what you are now. Mark was currently two fingers deep in your heat, all while having a casual conversation with the driver. It was as if he knew your body like the back of his hand, the way he put just the right pressure in your sensitive spots, pressed just right on your clit and covered your moans with a chaste kiss before they even came out. 

You felt the coil in your lower abdomen tighten, your moans becoming more frequent as Mark hit all the right spots within you. You were so so close, and so desperate when Mark pulled his fingers out of you. If you had been in your right mind, you would’ve recognized that the uber had arrived, but you weren’t, and you were desperate. So you tried your hardest to pull Mark’s hands back to their place in your heat, almost crying at his unwillingness to help you.

“Baby, get out of the car,” He laughed, pressing a soft kiss to your temple, “We’re here.”

That was all he needed to say to get your ass out of that uber and following him. The time it took to get up to his apartment from that uber felt like the longest three minutes of your life, especially with Mark’s hand burning the skin around your waist where it sat. 

You could have cried when the door to his apartment finally swung shut. With hurried hands and lips locked together, he led you to what you assumed to be his room. As soon as he kicked the door of his room shut, he practically tore your skirt down your body. His once light brown eyes, now dark and filled with lust as he stared at your exposed center. 

“If I’m not mistaken, I have a job to finish,” He growled, stalking towards you and pushing you gently on the bed. Before you could even brace yourself you felt his tongue circle your clit, sucking harshly on the sensitive bud. If you thought Mark had been good with his fingers, you had no clue what just hit you. He swirled his tongue around your clit, knowing just when to lick a stripe up your slit or to push himself inside. Mark was messily devouring you, and he had you on the edge. The climax you had been so close to reaching in the uber was fast approaching. 

“Mark- oh god,” You moaned, trying to let him know how close you were, “I’m-I’m close.”

Mark just locked his eyes with yours, picking up the pace of his tongue on your bud and easing a finger into your heat. That’s all it took for your eyes to roll back into your head and your hips to buck, but Mark held on, his face attached to your heat until you had ridden out your climax. 

When Mark’s head rose from your heat, you could cum again at just the sight of him. His hair was messy, his cheeks a perfect rosy blush, his smile soft, and distracting. He climbed over your body, kissing each cheek, and then placing a light peck on your lips. 

“Do you want to stop? That seemed pretty intense,” He smiled, placing another soft kiss on your forehead. You hummed as he peppered your face with gentle kisses. 

“Mark, if you don’t fuck me right now,” You smiled as he let out a chuckle. Taking a deep breath as he unbuckled his belt and slid his jeans down. Before you could catch your breath, he was pushing himself slowly into your sensitive heat. If you had the strength to open your eyes, you would have seen the gulp Mark took as he rests his head on your shoulder and sheathed himself all of the way inside. He felt delicious. He filled you to the brim, and you couldn’t help but take in a shaky breath as he started rocking his hips. He groaned into your shoulder as his pace quickened. This was the first time tonight he was getting any sort of pleasure, and you can tell that had made him desperate. He was fucking you quickly, grabbing your hips and grunting. He had become an insatiable animal, and you sure as hell didn’t want him to slow down. While his trusts were harsh and unforgiving, his hands and lips were soothing and filled with respect. 

You were quickly approaching another high, a fact that Mark had realized as you involuntarily clenched around his length. 

“Are- are you close baby?” Mark asked, running a hand from your hip to your clit, sending you hurtling closer to the edge. 

“Gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” He grunted, his pace faltering. His heavenly voice, mixed with his delicious dick and nimble fingers sent you over the edge. He continued thrusting, whispering praise after praise into your ear until you no longer felt him in you. You almost groaned a complaint, but Mark was quick to hush you. He sprayed cum onto your belly, the warmth of it distracting you from his cold room. 

You were drifting in and out, something you hadn’t ever experienced before. When Mark cupped his hands around your face, you looked hazily at him. He gently rubbed your temple, causing a string of butterflies to erupt in your stomach. 

“Can I get you anything, baby?” He asked, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead in order to get you to focus, “Water? Or how about something to eat?”

You just shake your head, outstretching your arms in order to suggest you want to cuddle. You smile as he laughs, muttering out, “Let me get you cleaned up first.”

And he does clean you, at least you can feel him moving you around. Your eyes are closed and you find yourself drifting off to sleep before he comes back to bed. 

--

When you awake the next morning you find yourself alone. The bed is cold, the sheets are turned back and there seems to be no noise in the house. You find yourself a little sad that Mark isn’t here. Plus you have a headache from all of the alcohol you drank the night before. When you turn over, you’re met with a tall glass of water, a few ibuprofens (thank god) and a small note. The note says something about running out for groceries. You waste no time in downing the drink, and the pills, and find yourself finally getting out of bed. You take a look through Mark’s apartment, taking stock of the photos on his walls and the books on his coffee table. 

“Ah- you’re not supposed to be up yet!” You heard Mark’s voice from behind you. You turned with a smile, laughing at the sight of him, as he tried to balance 4 grocery bags in his arms. You rushed to help him, taking two of the bags and following him to his kitchen. 

“I’m glad you didn’t leave yet,” He breathed, setting his bags on the counter and then swiftly grabbing the two you had in your arms. 

“Well, it takes me awhile to get up in the morning.”

At this, Mark laughed, “I could tell.”

The playful mood turned somewhat serious as you thought about leaving. He was technically just a one night stand, and although everything in your body was begging you to stay, you had no idea how Mark was feeling. 

“Listen, I know we kinda did this whole thing backward. I mean, we started dating before we even knew each other’s names,” he forced a chuckle, his nerves apparent, “but I would really really like it if we could get dinner sometime.”

You just smiled, pecking his lips before whispering, “As long as we have dessert first.”

[straighttohellbuddy]

📓 !!

Okay im so excited please know I think about How The Light Gets In's world every day still, and so anyways here is a side story I want to write but there's a lot of set up regarding the reader and eef becoming friends again. For context, they were incredibly close around 2014-2017, but people were getting creepy and invasive and demanding about their friendship (think 2012 toxic side of the Phandom, if that makes sense), and a lot of the reader's relationships were strained at that time because while they had been successful before, they were absolutely blowing up after their first album released and they became far more mainstream. They felt like they were bothering the people they had become closest to, both because they're worried that they're a bother, and because gossip rags and paps would harrass their friends looking for a scoop, and so they ended up just completely cutting off contact without warning one day right before they went on their first tour. the start of HTLGI is about 3 years since they'd been in proper contact with any of the creators they were close to at that time.

DON'T LOOK AT ME on their 2017 ep Hyperfocus was a more general song in response to everything that had been happening in their life around that time, with a focus on how they stop associating with anyone for a while, without outright addressing it, but on their latest album n o s t a l g i a, read at 5am ft. Troye was specifically written at the start of quarantine, when the reader was getting back into YouTube, about their feelings regarding how their friendship with ethan ended, as they spent a lot of this time looking back of their YouTube career, and he was the person they were closest to for a very long time, before they iced everyone out.

OKAY SO THERES MORE OF THE BACKGROUND OF THE WHOLE FIC AND THE READER BUT

Werewolf Ethan & Mark. I'm sorry I don't make the rules. They have golden retriever energy you cannot change my mind. But also because this is the HTLGI you know that supernatural characteristics are able to be activated rather than just triggered by the full moon. What I'm trying to say is since this is set in the year of Unus Annus, they film a video together that's like, you know that show where a person has to try and outwit a professional tracker? Except its the reader being tracked by two werewolves at night in a national park. Reader is wearing some sort of night vision camera on themselves so whenever it cuts to them the audience can't actually see how they're using their powers, if that makes sense.

Also the reader agreed to this knowing it would probably be when they ended up telling Mark and Ethan about them being a demon.

Video is titled Hunting Down An Old Friend

A few Moments that the boys edit out:

The reader using their stupidly sharp prehensile tail to swing from tree branches, though they leave in shots where the reader's tail can't be seen.

Knowing that with the werewolves having advanced hearing, the reader would give themselves away by talking to the camera, they take a few minutes having flown up to a high tree branch, to pull out a notebook and do a little sketch of how Mark and Ethan appear in their Demon True Sight, and holding it up to their camera.

Werewolves being one of the animals who can kind of sense demons without being able to identify them, essentially like dogs can sense natural disasters and are often good judges of character, this can be heightened on command for werewolves. There's about 15 minutes of footage cut out of the boys discussing or mentioning how this place has awful vibes and that they should have done this during the day. It gets worse as they get closer to the reader, who didn't realise that the boys hadn't thought to ever use that particular power around them before.

("I say this with so much love and appreciation for you, dude," Ethan yells, looking up at you from the base of the tree they'd finally found you in, "but I- this is making me anxious I feel like something terrible's gonna happen, and we should probably get out of here and film the rest of the video back at Mark's." And behind him, Mark's nodding, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, eyes scanning the trees for whatever was most likely the cause of this terrible impending doom.

Oh. It's you. And they don't know its you.

Now or never, you suppose.

"Can you cut the cameras for a second? You're going to be fine I promise," you called back, and though they obligingly did, they both seemed antsy. You cleared your throat awkwardly, "that... that terrible feeling, that's not the park or anything in it- well I mean, it is, but it's just- it's me."

and later

"Dude your wings smell like rotten eggs."

"To YOU Ethan! And no they don't!"

"If it makes you feel better they smell like burning and rotten eggs."

"It does not."

(for reference, when enhancing their sense of smell werewolves can kind of distinguish various supernatural creatures, or parts of supernatural creatures. Some creatures have an inherent scent, but some, like angels and demons, only have distinct scents when they've activated certain attributesor abilities; demon wings smell like fire and brimstone, which unfortunately means burning and rotten eggs. I like to think angels wings are like the love potion in Harry Potter that smells like the things you love the most. Mark and Ethan usually don't enhance it around each other because they smell like wet dog to the other)

This gets about 2k notes on tumblr. The reader likes it:

Ethan finally finding Y/N at the end of Hunting Down An Old Friend (2020) Colourised.

Other things to note regarding all this:

It takes a while to rebuild their friendship to the point where they're comfortable enough to be on camera together (eef and reader specifically).

However, the Unus Annus video is the first thing they properly do together, and the reader, in an effort to connect more and make up for the past, will join in multiplayer gaming streams if asked.

Impromptu duet in proximity Among Us of Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy, which has their respective chats and fandoms losing their minds, except it stops abruptly after the first chorus as they both remember the opening lines of the second verse (make it easy, say I never mattered -- those lyrics hit a little too close to home)

But also the reader convinces him to join him for a proper cover in like, February of 2021, and it's something deeply sappy (I'm thinking Bon Iver by mxmtoon because I think its sweet and fits them well)

Also Ethan being reminded that the reader is kind of a much bigger deal than when they'd been friends before.

designed to hurt (touch me) from their ep Working On It is nominated for a Grammy for Track of the Year, and n o s t a l g i a wins Best Pop Album (because it's my fic and I said so)

FIRST OF ALL designed to hurt (touch me) is a beautifully produced song about Corpse (which people do not know) and the title itself is literally making fun of something he said IMAGINE his reaction to it being Grammy Nominated 😂😂😂 God he'd be proud but lowkey fuming, meanwhile the moment the nominations are announced the reader tweets:

me: here is an album where I processed my entire world view including heartfelt explorations of the trauma of existing and oversharing in the public eye from a young age without the traditional barrier between audience and entertainer

the grammys: that's cute BUT you know the song you wrote to bully your boyfriend and also be horny on main for him before you guys were even dating? THAT deserves its own recognition.

meanwhile Ethan's like..... this is the same person who I filmed a video with playing cards against humanity, and you laughed so hard you almost threw up. I am very proud but deeply confused.

The Hot Meme of Late April 2021 is "2 time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" with a gif, still, or quote from the reader where they're just being an absolute chaos gremlin.

Of course we have "If I bleached my asshole for charity I'd do it tastefully."

2 Time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N speaking to their actual boyfriend in the year of our lord 2020: You are being executed for Clown Crimes.

ethan posts a short video to twitter simply of his screen where he's renaming a folder from "Never Before Seen Images of Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" simply changing it to 2 time Artist. The reader responds specifically to his tweet with a video of themselves asking Google how to hard reset someone else's computer.

So many screenshots from old videos surface that week.

I miss this world. Sorry this is rambly!!

[firefly464]

The Gilded Cage - Chapter 2

aoweijfda ok im just gonna put it out there, posts are probably gonna be a bit slower for tgc, since me, rivy, and pami are all dealing with school shit. Anyways, have chapter :D

Written in collaboration with @i-have-this-now :D

Thank you @rivys for beta reading, editing, and writing :D

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~~~

Run. 

Cries surrounded him, the voices of people he had thought were his friends piercing his mind. It was unfortunate that they hadn’t thought the same of him.

You need to get away from them.

The cold wind flew past him in streaks of haze. He couldn't tell where he was running to, only that he was running away. A gust of wind blew the hat off of his head, but between the pounding of his heart in his chest and his frantic planning, he barely noticed. 

You'll live if you run far enough.

The light dusting of snow brushed against his shoes as he shot past. One of his shoes fell off a while back, leaving one of his feet numb, but he couldn't concentrate on that now.

Run. They aren't your friends anymore. You can't trust them.

Dodging trees and logs and leaves, running to who knows where at this point. 

This wasn’t real, this couldn’t be real.

Something flew past his head, only narrowly missing his ear. He let out a curse. 

They’re trying to kill you

A sharp pain exploded in his right arm. He only forced himself to run faster. 

Ignore the pain. Just keep running. You’ll find safety eventually. 

He could feel adrenaline coursing through his veins, numbing his arm. 

Keep moving. Just keep moving.

The throbbing in his head was growing worse. His vision was blurring. He forced himself to keep going.

Don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop. 

He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears, the sound of blood rushing past, drowning out any other sounds. His breathing was quick, and shallow. 

Just focus on running. Don’t think of anything else.

How long had he been running for? He didn’t know. It didn’t matter, just so long as he kept moving. Right now, all that mattered was getting away. 

Get as far away as possible. 

He was slowing down. Why was he slowing down? He couldn’t slow down, he needed to keep moving. He would be killed if he slowed down. He couldn’t afford to slow down. 

Why the fuck are you stopping? You can’t fucking stop.

His legs burned with adrenaline, pins and needles shooting up his thighs. He could feel the warmth of blood running down his arm and the stinging pain that came with it.

Run.

His pace continued to slow down. No, no he can’t. He can’t slow down. If he slows down he’ll-

RUN.

His vision started to blur. Colors and shapes were formed into an arrangement of fuzzy mush. Greens, blues and reds were stirring in his vision. The edges of his eyesight started to fade into black.

Whatever you do, don’t stop. Stop and you’re dead. Stop and you’ll-

The darkness consumed his vision.

~~~

“Eret? Can you hear me? Are you awake?”

The voice was muffled, distant. 

“Eret, are you okay?”

He tried to push himself up, but his arms violently shook under him. He bit his tongue, doing his best not to cry out in pain. He watched as blood stained the snow under him underneath him, the deep crimson slowly spreading. He watched as it seeped into the ground, only to freeze over a moment later. 

“Woah, hey!” The person grabbed his arm. A jolt of pain coursed through him, but it was dull, and barely noticeable. He couldn’t feel the person grabbing his arm, much less the resulting pain. “You’re still hurt. Careful. God, what did you do…?” 

Eret grit his teeth. “I got fuckin’ shot,” he muttered, his words slurred, barely understandable. His eyes blurred, the corners of his vision going dark.

“Language,” The person sighed. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Pins and needles shot through him. He was going numb. He could barely see. He could feel himself drifting off, slipping in and out of consciousness. Every logical thought in his mind was telling him to run, run far away, get as far as you can, but he was too exhausted to move.

He could barely hear the voice murmuring to him as they carried him to safety. “You’re gonna be okay.”

~~~

When he finally awoke, he was laying on a soft bed, warmth surrounding him. It was completely different to when he had woken up in the cold van. Instead of being surrounded by hostility, there was a feeling of kindness in the air. 

He glanced around, trying to figure out where he was, only to once more find himself unable to see. The blinding white light had returned, making him squint. 

As he pushed himself up to a sitting position, he saw the outline of a small bedside table. On top of the table, he was pretty sure he could see a small, dark object. With a wince, he reached over and grabbed the dark glasses. 

Instantly, the world around him darkened, letting him actually see his surroundings. He was in what appeared to be a large, open room, split off into different sections. The section he was in seemed to be a makeshift bedroom of sorts, with curtains strung across the ceiling to provide privacy. 

From the small opening in the curtains, Eret could just barely make out the center of the room. In the middle stood a large pillar that reached to the ceiling, with stairs leading downwards. On the other side of the pillar was a crackling fireplace that filled the large room with warmth and light. A large couch was sat in front of it, giving a spot to rest and relax. 

In one corner, he could just barely make out the corner of what looked to be a kitchen. Eret could hear someone humming to themselves as they moved around the area. The voice sounded familiar, but it was difficult to place from only the humming. 

“Hello?” He called out, trying to figure out who the mysterious person was. He couldn’t remember much after he had blacked out, but he did remember someone helping him. Perhaps this was the same person. 

The sounds of shuffling came to an abrupt halt. They had stopped.

“Who’s there?” he called out, his voice trembling. “Please, I just want to know what's going on”

With the screech of metal on metal, the curtain in the doorway parted to reveal a tall, shadowy creature. They were an inky black, as though they were a silhouette, and their eyes glowed a haunting white. A dark hood covered their head, making the creature look even more intimidating. Eret was forced to swallow a scream of surprise at the sight. 

“Oh good, you’re awake! How are you feeling?” the creature spoke.

Eret couldn’t believe it. This… thing had the exact same voice as his friend back home, and had a striking resemblance to the man’s Minecraft skin. He had to be dreaming.

“Pinch me.”

“What?”

“You need to pinch me. This can’t be real.”

“What? I’m not going to--”

“Pinch me!”

Bad frowned slightly as he sat down at Eret’s bedside. “I’m not going to pinch you, you’re still really hurt. How does your arm feel?” 

Eret ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t exactly care about my arm right now, this just… it has to be a dream. None of this can be happening, it’s not real.”

“Oh.” Bad looked down and let out a sigh. “Well, Eret, let me tell you what. You and I are here right now, and I love you, and my love is real. So don’t be a little muffin, alright?”

His friend’s reassuring words couldn’t calm Eret’s fear. “No, this isn’t real! I-I’m in some sort of fucked up dream or coma or something,” His words were filled with desperation, as though he were trying to convince himself of the lie. 

“Hey! Watch your language,” Bad said, before giving his friend a sympathetic glance. He looked towards the open curtain and called out, “Hey, George? Do you know what happened to Eret? He seems really upset.”

“Yeah, he got shot.” a calm voice called from beyond the doorway. As George stepped into view, he lifted his sunglasses from his eyes and rested them on his head. “Getting shot can do that to a person.” 

“No, I know that, George! I’m just worried!” 

The man sighed. “Setting up the control room took a lot of work, not to mention he just nearly froze to death. He’s been through a lot, Bad.”

Eret couldn’t help but stare in dumbfounded shock. It felt too real now. He was here, of course, but he was really here -- in the middle of a war against his best friends, and he didn’t know how to feel about it. He had only been conscious for less than an hour since his arrival, and he had already been injured several times.

On the one hand, at least he wasn’t alone. A single glance at his surroundings proved that he had people to help support him. People to help him, people that he knew he could trust.

 But on the other, the SMP’s lore was a hellstorm. There was death, pain, true and terrible suffering. They were in the middle of a war. He didn’t know much about how combat affected someone, but he knew that it could cause long-lasting trauma. That wasn’t something that could be ignored. 

“I know, George.” Bad’s gentle voice snapped Eret out of his spiraling thoughts. “But there has to be something we can do to help him, you know?”

“I’m right here…” he muttered under his breath. 

George sighed and leaned against the wall. “Alright then, Eret. Talk to me.”

~~~

“What the fuck was all that about?! What just happened?!” Tommy cried out, barging into the small van. His face was red from both the biting cold outside, and the anger that ran through him. He and Tubbo had just returned from chasing Eret out of the L’manberg walls, though Tommy wished they had been able to do more. 

He wanted Eret dead. Just thinking about the man brought a mixture of anger and fear to the surface. No, he needed Eret dead. He needed to make that son of a bitch pay for what he did to them. 

The inside of the van looked like a warzone, with papers and documents cluttering every available surface. The drawers that were pushed up against the wall were all thrown open, their contents spilled across the floor. Inkwells and quills lay scattered across the table in the center, the dark ink seeping into the wood below. 

Wilbur was hastily digging through one of the drawers, throwing vials and potion ingredients all over the floor. It was almost like he was looking for something, but that didn’t make sense. 

“What did he take? Why was he here?!” Wil cried out, Tommy’s voice falling on deaf ears. 

He jumped at the sound of knocking and turned to face his son standing in the doorway. Fundy looked at his father anxiously, ears pinned back against his head and tail swishing as he side-stepped past Tommy.

“I’m busy,” Wilbur spat. “Now isn’t the time.”

“Well, Dad, I was wondering what we should do about Eret.”

“What, why?! Didn’t you stop him?” 

Fundy’s shoulders shot up to his ears and his whole body tensed, his body language giving away his response “Well, we didn’t manage to catch him, but--”

“Then find him!”

Tommy stepped forward. “I understand you’re upset, but I think you’re being a bit harsh with Fundy, sir.”

The General scoffed. “Upset? Really? I’m not upset, I’m fucking pissed! The man that just betrayed our entire nation just ran off and you all let him!”

“Well, to be fair, he ran pretty fast,” Tubbo offered, trying to be helpful.

“I don’t give a shit how fast he ran, you will find him and you will...” Wilbur sputtered and gesticulated wildly. “...you’ll bring him to me, and I can watch the light fade from his stupid fucking glowing eyes, and--”

“Wilbur, please!” Tommy yelled. “You’re getting ahead of yourself.” Wilbur opened his mouth to interrupt, but Tommy stopped him. “Look, we all hate him for what he did, but if we don’t know where he is, we can’t do shit.”

Wilbur stared at his right hand man and sighed. He was jumping ahead, he needed to stay calm and rational. “Fine. Alright. Sure. We can hold off on that for now.”

Fundy let out a shaky sigh of relief. He had seen Wilbur lose his temper before, and it was never fun, but he had gotten used to it. This, though, was something different, and he wasn’t sure how long it was going to last.

He needed to leave, to get out before his adoptive father grew angry again. Fundy could tell from the furrow in Wilbur’s brow that the anger was not yet gone, and it was only a matter of time before it exploded out again.

“I uh, I’m going to go patrol the walls. I want to make sure he’s actually gone,” Fundy said, desperate for a chance to escape. 

Will glared at him, a spark in his eye unlike any Fundy had seen before. “No, Fundy, you don’t understand the gravity of the situation. You may have been there with us in the control room, but you will never understand what his betrayal truly meant.”

“Wilbur, I--”

“He was there at the founding of our nation, Fundy, he helped build L’Manburg from the ground up, and he left us all behind. And it hurt, and I know it hurt you too, but here’s the thing. Eret has to pay, but you can’t be the one to collect.”

Fundy felt a growl deep in his chest. “I can do this, Wilbur, just trust me--”

“Fundy.” The General stared directly into his eyes, the emotion in his words seemingly gone. “You. Are. Incompetent. You cannot do this, and I mean that literally. This is not for you.”

Fundy felt his ears flatten on the top of his head and he stepped back in shock. He understood what Wilbur meant, he really did. It made sense. After all, he wasn’t the strongest fighter, or the best tactician, or the best anything, really. This wasn’t a job meant for him, it just wasn’t, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. He needed to prove himself, to show that he could at least do something to help.

His shoulders slumped. “I understand. I… I would still like to go on patrol, sir. If I find anything, I will report to you immediately.” He turned on his heel, not giving Wilbur the chance to respond. Pushing past both Tubbo and Tommy, he left the van, trying to escape his shame.

~~~

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[tepkunset]

@avatarfandompolice​​​ is a blog that likes to misuse progressive language in attempt to make ignorant, racist posts sound more intelligent than they are. While most of their blog consists of arguing about ‘zutara,’ (which I recently learned is a ship name for Zuko and Katara from an anon), there is also a large number of posts and reblogs under the premise of being “hot takes” on how unfair it is to address racism in fandom and in media.

Avatarfandompolice is very sensitive about people pointing out that Avatar: The Last Airbender is not, in fact, flawless. That a show made by two white men featuring Asian and Indigenous characters and influences is fully capable of getting things wrong. That their western colonial views are influences all on their own, and it shows. Rather than listen to fans of colour point out things like these posts for example: [Link] [Link] [Link], avatarfandompolice has decided that such things must simply be fake, and has made multiple posts complaining it. This is not just regular ignorance, this is wilful ignorance. The dismissal of critique simply because they cannot fathom not everyone being able to handle the amount of issues they are freely educating others on, or people holding the ability to like something overall while also pointing out where it could be better.

It is my firm belief that you should never absorb media with an uncritical eye. If this was the case, if people just accepted everything given to them, then we would never see any progress. We need to be able to look back at something and say here’s what we did right, and here’s what we need to do better with.

The argument that A:TLA was made in 2012 and therefore should not be analyzed with a modern understanding of the world is downright hilarious, too. As if we aren’t taught to write literature analysis on books and plays that are centuries old in school. In particular regards to the whole cop thing... if anyone reading this seriously thinks that hate and fear of the police is just a 2020 trend, you can meet me in the pit. I was four years old when I learned how terrifying cops are. If your experiences differ, let me tell you that does not make them universal. And as for all the 20-somethings talking about it today, well, gentle reminder that as said by avatarfandompolice right here, the show aired in 2012. Little 10-year-old kids don’t have social media, (at least I hope they don’t,) and unless they grew up experiencing first-hand police terror, probably were not aware of it at that age. I do not know why avatarfandompolice insults people's ability to grow and learn. I can only guess it’s jealously from their lack of ability to do so.

Now let’s address their defences of whitewashing, which is easily the most backwards reaching I’ve seen on this issue in a while. Primarily their defence relies on four repetitive “points” —

Fake minuscule percentages to downplay the high prevalence and extremity of whitewashing in the fandom

Deflecting the addressing of whitewashing with rapid-fire fake scenarios and claims of “reverse racism” / “blackwashing”

Claiming whitewashing isn’t real because people only care about it with Katara

Claiming that calling out whitewashing in fandom is wrong because it hurts artists

I have only so much as dipped my toes into the A:TLA fandom, and even I have seen a lot of whitewashed fan art. If you do an image search for fan art, I guarantee within the first couple rows of results, there will be in the absolute least, a few examples. The idea of these artworks not substantially lightening skin is also just plain inaccurate. Just from a quick Google search, this is literally the first result for ‘Avatar The Last Airbender Katara fan art’:

Avatarfandompolice is also hyper-focused on the lightening of skin, and seems to be under the impression that this is the only component of whitewashing. I come to this conclusion because when someone pointed out the equal prevalence of depicting these characters of colour with Western European features instead of their actual eyes, noses, etc., they rip a giant turd out of their ass and scrawl the words “but stereotyping” over it. No, not all Asian peoples and Indigenous peoples look the same. The original poster made no such claim of this at all. Avatarfandompolice jumped to this conclusion all on their own... (which really says a lot in itself). It is entirely unrelated to the point. The point being the erasure of how these characters look, in favour of giving them whiter features. And guess what? This does hurt. But I’ll get to that below.

The lack of understanding of whitewashing is on full display when avatarfandompolice talks about “blackwashing”; the idea that colouring characters with darker skin is just like whitewashing. Firstly, there is no such thing as “blackwashing.” “Blackwashing,” “brownwashing,” etc. does not exist because it is a false equivalency to whitewashing. It is a false equivalency to whitewashing because white people are not even in the slightest loosing representation when a white character is re-imagined as a racial minority, whereas when racial minorities are re-imagined as white people, they are taking away from what is already very little representation for us. If we lived in a world where the statistics of representation were not so drastically disproportionate, then there would be something to talk about. But if you are really wanting to support equality, you should focus on equitably supporting those who actually need it, not white people. As for specifically depicting characters like Sokka and Katara with darker skin than what they have in the show, the same applies, (so long as it’s not racebending them as we really shouldn’t be taking representation away from each other, and the artist avatarfandompolice ridicules above has done no such thing,) because colourism also exists within nonwhite communities as well.

As for the fake questions about cosplaying, the answer is really simple: Cosplay however you want, but don’t make pretending to be a different race part of your cosplay. If you want to cosplay Katara, you can do it without painting your skin darker, aka brownface. If you want to cosplay Zuko, you can do it without editing yourself to look East Asian, aka digital yellowface. The racist history behind this is an internet search away, but I suppose that is too difficult for avatarfandompolice to do.

Avatarfandompolice has made multiple claims that people must not really care about whitewashing if they only call it out for Katara. It is laughable at best, and sad at worst, that this is the conclusion they come to, and not the fact that unfortunately Katara just happens to be subjected to more whitewashing than other characters. I assume this is from a mix of her popularity as well as being a WOC and not MOC. This is not to say that whitewashing does not exist with male characters—not in the slightest. Half the images on this “10 fan art pictures of Sokka that are just the best” list from CBR are whitewashed. Only that across fandoms, whitewashing is more prevalent in female characters, by my observations at least.

Finally—and this one pisses me off the most—avatarfandompolice claims that whitewashing is no big deal, but calling out whitewashing is too harmful to justify. How fucking dare you put the feelings of artists who can’t handle critique of their work (that they publicly share) over fans of colour, who are constantly subjected to seeing our identities and looks not being worth respecting. As if it doesn’t imprint on your mind from a very young age how only villains ever have your facial features, because they’re ugly and I guess that means you’re ugly. As if there is something wrong with you. As if respecting you is regarded as extra effort, and not just common courtesy.

Whitewashing is a form of colourism, which is a form of racism. It is the favouritism, unconscious or not, of white features and the erasure of visible characters of colour. It is not fandom drama. It is not being too lazy to focus on “real issues” because it is part of a real issue. It is yet another part of why fandom spaces are so uninviting to POC. We live in a society that favours lighter skin. Corporations make fortunes from selling products to bleach your skin, products to contour your features away or go as far as surgery, all to meet beauty standards set by and influenced by white colonizers. That does not exist in A:TLA, and that’s called refreshing escapism. But it’s hard to escape that when the fandom constantly reminds you otherwise. It is a perfect example of how the classic “just let people enjoy things” complaint is nothing but disguised racism, because it’s only ever said regarding white fans’ enjoyment, at the expense of fans of colour.

None of the characters in A:TLA are white. Redesigning them and recolouring them as if they are, be it out of accident or intent is wrong. If you get called out for it, apologize, learn from the experience and do better going forward. You’ll also improve your art this way.

Beyond excusing whitewashing, avatarfandompolice has overt racist posts as well. A Black fan said they like to headcanon Katara as being partially Black; “I swear Katara was a sister. Im convinced there ain't no way she didn't have some black in her.” Avatarfandompolice jumps in saying “She's literally an Inuit but ok” as if being an Inuk person means Katara can’t possibly also be Black. The OP never claimed Katara was not Indigenous, simply that they also saw her as Black. Black Indigenous peoples exist. Black Inuk peoples exist. It is overtly anti-Black to say otherwise. But what even is the point of talking to avatarfandompolice about that? You know, you would think in trying to put such a front up of caring about the Inuit, they would do the most basic learning of the proper grammatical use of Inuit and Inuk. (As is the case with a great many Indigenous Nations, Inuit is both the Nation and plural. Inuk is singular. “An Inuit” / “Inuits” as avatarfandompolice has used just makes their dressed-up racism all the more pathetic. It’s similar to as if you said “Chinas” instead of “Chinese”.)

But all this is nothing, nothing compared to the worst post I had the displeasure of seeing. In a single post, avatarfandompolice manages to squeeze in insult against low income people, Mexican people, Jewish people, and Black people in a mockery of financial help posts. Absolutely disgusting, childish behaviour from a place of privilege. As someone who has had no option but to make such a post before, more than once, let me fucking tell you that the embarrassment and desperation when in that situation is unparalleled. It is not done lightly. It is done when you are at the last resort of having nothing but hope that the combined generosity of others will be enough to save you and your family. And what adds a whole other level to the odiousness of avatarfandompolice’s post is that they specifically targeting low income minorities to boot. Because we’re all poor beggars, right?

All in all, for someone who prides themselves in calling others ignorant, avatarfandompolice has to be one of the most obtuse fandom blogs I have ever scrolled through. They are as vile as they are pathetic, and my sincere sympathy for anyone who has been unfortunate enough to interact with them. It has been a while since I so strongly recommend blocking someone.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai: Ginsei no Shou - Saito Hajime Chapter #7 English Translation

My translation of the 7th Ginsei no Shou chapter for Saito... It’s probably because that this is my favourite chapter from the game and one that I found especially enjoyable to read (and had more of an understanding of it before getting translations for this lol) that I somehow translated this in record time when compared to all the other things I’ve worked on.... 

Unlike Kazama’s final Tsukikage chapter, the dialogue for this wasn’t all separated line by line in the CN TLs I found for the Saito chapters [NAMELY BECAUSE I WROTE EACH DAMN FUCKING WORD OUT FOR THAT CHAPTER], so some of the text in this remains lumped together. Also, huzzah for google translate providing the translations of place names since I wouldn’t have been able to translate the Japanese words that had been left in the original tl for this otherwise. I don’t usually make adjustments based on the original JP text until I start editing for the video... which will be done later.

All images used in this post were screencaps of game footage I recorded through vlc... also is it just me who feels that my English comes across as a lot more archaic when I stick to the original tl sentence structure...? lol. Anyway, as always, my translation may not be 100% accurate since I do not translate from Japanese.

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ANOTHER GINSEI NO SHOU SAITO CHAPTER... one that I do not intend to translate right away... well I also include it in a note about what chapter it refers too. lol. it’s right below the cut.

Enjoy~! OR ELSE! MWHAHAHA!!

(jk, lol. plus, i’m too lazy to think of anything. oh and im currently working on the subtitle positioning for this now as the file got transferred recently since i finished the first round of timing [i need to do this multiple times to get the fade in/out of my subtitles to match the timing of game text’s fade/in... or to at least have them as close as possible] before having all of these tech problems.)

--------------------

Forward Notes

Based on what I remember from tokio-fujita’s notes (sorry but I didn’t check since im kinda busy rn, and the internet on my laptop is kinda unstable as I’m still transferring files... 17.3 gb remains from the dramas transfer) on Saito’s position in the Shinsengumi after leading them to Aizu, I’ve left his position as taichou in this translation due to how the only English translation for that is ‘captain’ which doesn’t show a difference in roles from when he was the Third Division captain ‘kaichou/kumicho’ [note to self: include this along with the link to the page in the post description later. also i will probably just change this to ‘captain’ anyway when i do my subtitle video].

Chapter 6 and 7 occur in Aizu

Hakuoki Shinkai: Ginsei no Shou - Saito Hajime Chapter #7

Translation by KumoriYami

7th month, 4th year of Keiou, after the Shinsengumi left for Sendai——

The Aizu, who had offended the Satcho were engulfed in the bitter flames of war.

When Shirakawa Castle was attacked, it would be a lie to say that I wasn't worried then.

Hijikata-san, Heisuke-kun, Shimada-san, and Souma-kun.

It was no longer possible to fight alongside the people who we deeply trusted since the beginning.

However……

I still have Saito-san.

Saito-san also me, although/even if/despite how I can't fight alongside him.

We relied upon one another, setting out for Shirakawa——

Shirakawa Castle, which had become the headquarters for my father's rasetsu—— we confronted him and Kazama Chikage there.

As Kazama-san had the overwhelming strength of an oni, if the fight was drawn out, Saito-san would have no chance of winning.

But, we still had....

Comrades we could rely on.

Even if [they] leave. Even if [they/they've] choose/chosen different paths.

As long as they maintained/followed their own bushido, everyone was still heading in the same direction.

I believe that as long as we moved forward, one day, our paths will surely cross again, and we will fight to the very end.

If only/I wish that everyone could see each other one more time, I could only pray that everyone would be safe……

Saito-san once again returned to the battlefield.

4th year of Keiou, 8th month

The Aizu Shinsengumi under the command of the Aizu, fought at the Bonari Pass——

After that, they fought bravely to stop the New Government army from entering Aizu Castle.

By the ninth month however, there were not many members left of the Aizu Shinsengumi, yet they still set out to defend/protect Nyoraido [refers to chapter 6] .

This is the story of what happened while I was waiting for Saito-san after he left. 

Fourth year of Keiou, Ninth month

Fourth year of Keiou, Ninth month

Saito-san and the other members of the troop left camp to protect Nyoraido.

Following his instructions/In accordance with his wishes, I accompanied the men who were seriously injured in battle to the rear of the formation.

Yukimura: Please wait a bit longer, I will treat you immediately.

Soldier:……At the most crucial moment, to be unable to help Saito-taichou, I'm terribly sorry.

Yukimura: ……There was no way you could, you are wounded after all.

Soldier: The taicho, is he really okay?

Perhaps it was because his wounds were too painful, that the soldier continued to weakly repeat himself.

Yukimura: Saito-san will be fine. He will surely come back alive.

In order to reassure the soldier, I spoke decisively/resolutely.

Yukimura: That's why, you need to focus on recovering right now.

Soldier:......Okay, I will.

Three days later.

The soldiers who had stayed in Nyoraido, none of them had come back yet.

The news from the front lines had also been cut off.

All that we knew was was the hopeless information brought back by the wounded.

There weren't enough bandages and medicines, and the wounded kept pouring in.

The soldier's and my worries became more intense.

It was at this time——

Aizu soldier: This is terrible/Bad news! Apparently Nyoraido has been completely surrounded by the enemy! The Shinsengumi in Nyoraido might have completely wiped out.

Yukimura:……!

The moment I heard such a dreadful announcement/news, it felt like the blood had been drained from my entire body. [news/information might be changed for ^^^ sentences. might use intelligence, communication]

A commotion spread throughout the entire formation [camp sounds more appropriate].

Soldier: Yukimura-san……

The wounded soldier looked at me with an anxious expression.

Previously, the instant I heard such news, I probably would have broken down into tears.

But, now——

Yukimura:……When such fierce fighting is going on, all sorts of rumours will be flying around we can't assume that everything is accurate before receiving an official confirmation.

Hearing what I said, the soldier seemed to calm down.

Soldier:……That's right. Before figuring things out, we'll still believe in/continue to trust the Taichou, and wait until he returns.

Even if Nyoraido has been surrounded by the enemy, the Shinsengumi may not necessarily be completely wiped out.

Shinsengumi——they, along with Saito-san, I don't know how many times they had escaped from death.

More importantly, Saito-san cannot die yet.

——flashback——

Saito: Yukimura, I wish to make you a promise.

Yukimura: A promise for me......? What is it?" Saito: No matter what happens in the future....... I will protect you with my life. This decision is not because of the Shinsengumi, Hijikata-san, or an order from the Aizu....... but of my own volition.

——end flashback——

At the time, he promised……

Even now, I can still clearly remember how we kissed after.

Saito-san, he made a promise to me.

He will come back to me.

I repeated those words in my heart over and over again, as if to convince myself......

But my heart was beating wildly, and cold sweat dripped from my forehead.

This wasn't able to eliminate my sense of unease.

Yukimura: …………

I truly wanted to rush over to Nyoraido, to immediately go to his side.

But, my duty right now, is to treat the wounded here.

So…… I could only trust/believe in him, and wait here.

After, I continued to focus on treating the wounded while waiting for Saito-san to return.

But, reports on the situation in Nyoraido, they never came again,

The sense of [them being] defeat[ed] became more intense, and the dreary mood gradually enveloped the entire formation [will probably use "camp"]. [The feeling that they had been defeated became more intense, and...]

Soldier 2: Yukimura-san, isn't it time for you to rest? You look very pale.

Yukimura: No, it isn't time to rest yet/it's not the time to rest.

Soldier 2:……Under these circumstances, if you collapse, once something happens, there won't be anyone to depend/rely on [for what you do]. Even if it's just a short nap…… please, for everyone's sake.

When faced with such a strong request, I couldn't refuse.

Yukimura: Okay. Then I'll go and nap/sleep for a bit.

I decided to go find a corner to go nap in .

Perhaps it was because I was so tired, but once I closed my eyes, I immediately fell asleep.

As I slept, I had a dream.

Yukimura Nn, nn......

I didn't know where I was in this dream, the surroundings were hazy as I looked around.

Where……is this?

Yukimura: Is this the Aizu's…… camp……?

……Right.

I was waiting for Saito-san to come back…… then……

My head felt numb and heavy as I looked around again……

Saito:……Yukimura.

Yukimura: Saito-san……!

The person I wanted to see suddenly appeared before me/Now that the one I wanted to see  suddenly appeared, I immediately got up.

Yukimura: You're back from fighting at Nyoraido! Where are the rest of the soldiers……

Saito:……In regards to this, I have something that I must tell you.

Yukimura: Eh……?

Hearing him say such ominous remarks, I couldn't help but feel confused.

Saito: Even now, you have always been at my side…… My gratitude towards you goes beyond words. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't have been able to continue fighting until now.

Yukimura: Thanks for what [reword later]……

Why was he suddenly saying such a thing?

Yukimura:……To speak of thanks, it's too much, I don't need it [It's too much for you to speak of thanking me/it's unnecessary for you to thank me]. Because, you and I……

We are no longer outsiders [/We can no longer be considered as outsiders/strangers...not sure what i’ll go with here] ——I just wanted to say that.

I don't know why, but I couldn't say anything.

The Saito-san before my eyes/right now, there was a subtle sadness to his expression, as if he was extremely sorry.

He…… wasn't like the one [man] I knew at all.

In this unnatural atmosphere, he spoke solemnly.

Saito: I……there is something I must tell you…… No matter what happens, no matter what you experience/encounter/face…… but now I [reword later]……

Yukimura:……!?

I was too late to ask him——

Saito-san's figure was already starting to fade away, then completely disappeared into the darkness of night.

Yukimura: Saito-san, don't go! What are saying to me——

I shouted out then/and lost consciousness.

When I opened my eyes again, my entire body was drenched in sweat.

Yukimura: Just now, that was a dream……

The foreboding feeling/premonition made my heart beat wildly.

Why was it at this time, that I dreamed of Saito-san?

Furthermore, in my dream, it seemed like he had something to tell me.

I had a bad hunch/felt a sense of foreboding, but there was nothing I could do.

Looking around everywhere, Saito-san and the others still hadn't come back.

Although/Even if I dreaded to think so……

Just now, it was just a bad dream, it shouldn't be a sign that something bad would happen.

Saito-san and the other soldiers, what happened to them?

……No, it couldn't be.

He promised me, he would surely come back.

But, if that wasn't the case?

……If I continued to wait here, would he really come back?

I……

Choices 

【Search for him】 【Believe in him and wait】 <-

Although I wanted to immediately rush to Saito-san's side……

I still remembered what he said before.

——flashback——

Saito:......As time passes, things change. The world, ideals, and even the Shinsengumi. Even so, that does not mean that everything must change. As things change with time, so too will there be things that do not change. And I...... I believe in the things that do not change.

——end flashback——

……Saito-san had never gone against the promise he made me/never broke the promise he made me.

Regardless if it was when he left the Shinsengumi to join the Guardians of the Imperial Tomb, or when he was defeated at/during the Battle of Toba-Fushimi.

Also, there was when he ended up fighting Kazama-san.

In the end, he always came back to my side [me].

So, as he promised, he will certainly come back to me.

So, I too——

Yukimura:…………

An incredible feeling swelled in my chest.

It wasn't because of panic, rather it felt like the stars were whispering to me……

This feeling pushed me out of camp.

Outside of camp was a forest that always looked the same at night [reword later].

Although I didn't know if any of the soldiers would return, I thought……

I felt somewhat dejected, and couldn't help but look up towards the night sky.

It was full of stars, quietly twinkling.

Long before I was born, these stars, they must have been watching the world in silence/been silently watching the world.

No matter how many years passed, these silver stars would always shine in the night sky.

Yukimura: Me too……

Under the allure of the dim starlight, I couldn't help but say this/I was unable to restrain my emotions.

Yukimura: I also…… believe in the things that do not change.

Even if the path forward was covered in darkness, the light that pointed towards the future still shined.

Yukimura: I believe——no matter what happens in the future, you will not change.

Just as I muttered this to myself.

There was the sound of movement through foliage.

I froze, staring attentively in the direction of the sound.

After/Then……

???: Is.…… someone there?

The moment I heard that voice, I burst into tears [or: almost burst into tears]. 

Shortly after, a single silhouette flashed in the woods, and its figure gradually became clearer.

Saito: Chizuru…… is that you?

My beloved/The man/The one I loved was calling my name, I could no longer/was no longer able to control myself.

Yukimura: Saito-san…… Hajime-san!

I shouted his name, throwing myself at him.

Yukimura: You came back……! Hajime-san……!

I wanted to welcome him back with a smile.

I didn't want to be crying when we were reunited.

If I cried, that would make it harder to see Hajime-san’s face……

All sorts of thoughts that I had been repressing came bursting out of my heart.

Saito: Ah…… I'm back, Chizuru. Didn't I promise you that I would return? Why are you crying? Could it be, that you didn't believe me?

Hearing Hajime-san's question, I shook my head.

Yukimura: How could I not trust you. However, I was always worried…… [and] when I heard the bad rumours at camp, my heart felt like it was going to crack/split open. Also…… I had a dream, a dream where you went far, far away……

Saito:……I see.

As I cried, Hajime-san awkwardly embraced me.

His uniform, it was completely dirty……

Although his uniform was black, a single glance showed that there were bloodstains and bullet holes everywhere.

Just from seeing him like this, I could tell he had seen a fierce battle. [ or "it was as if I could see a fierce battle." check jp mtl]

A moment later, Hajime-san showed a bitter expression.

Saito: When [we were] surrounded by the New Government Army, I was prepared to be completely wiped out/defeated…… At this time, one of the seriously injured/wounded soldiers told me: we've all been injured [been completely beaten... or some other word that i think of later that implies helplessness] and can no longer be of use to fight. Leave us behind and get out of here with the rest of the troop members——

Yukimura:……!

The decision that had been before Hajime-san, the weight of it left me speechless.

Saito: The me from before, perhaps I would have accepted this proposal. But…… the me now, it was impossible [reword later]. Hijikata-san entrusted me with the leadership of the Shinsengumi. Additionally, I could not leave those who trusted me and stayed/chose to fight together with me when the Aizu were abandoned.

Yukimura:……Nn.

I looked straight into Hajime-san's eyes, and nodded approvingly/nodded in agreement.

Hearing about the changes in Hajime-san's heart, I felt delighted/happy, as if it was my own affair.

Saito: If I had accepted that soldier's proposal, I likely would have returned sooner…… Carefully leading the troops back, it took longer than I thought…… I'm sorry for making you worry about me.

After listening to Hajime-san's words, I shook my head.

Yukimura: I……that's not important/it doesn't matter.  As long as are you are like this, and as long as you come back to me…… that's enough.

Saito:…………Yes [alt I see/is that so. check audio].

Yukimura: What happened to the other troop members/soldiers?

Saito: Because they're moving while carrying the wounded, I think that it will probably be a while longer before they catch up. But they will certainly catch up.

Yukimura: So it's like that, that's good……

Just by/from feeling Hajime-san's temperature [warmth] and his breathing, I was already very happy.

As long as he was like this now, and alive [As long as he lived like this now]…… being at my side, it was enough.

From the way he was looking at me, I could clearly feel that he felt the same way I did.

Saito:……Even for myself, I find it/feel that it's incredible/unimaginable.

Yukimura:……?

I tilted my head, not understanding what he meant.

Saito: Previously, I thought, the ideal wish of a warrior/samurai [check audio] would be to die in battle. However, I now fight for the sake of my comrades, so as to survive [so that we survive/live. chck jp mtl].

Indeed, if it was the past Hajime-san, when faced between choosing life and death, he likely wouldn’t have hesitated.

But......

Yukimura: I.......love the you now....... and I love the you back then. No....... no matter however you are, I will always accept you.

Hajime-san's eyes narrowed in satisfaction.

Saito:……You once told me before. The answer, the one I painfully struggled to find, whatever it was, you would accept it.

Yukimura:……Nn.

Saito: The one who changed me, it was probably you, Chizuru.

Yukimura: Eh......?

Saito: At the most dire point/height of the fighting, I thought of your face…… and my determination to not die grew stronger. Furthermore, every time I thought of how you were doing everything to help the wounded at camp, I kept thinking that these soldiers must not die here.

Yukimura:…………

Carefully listening to my lover's voice, his words, made me feel infinitely happy. [Listening to my lover's voice, his words made me feel extremely happy.]

When Hajime-san was desperately fighting at Nyoraido, if I was able to provide him some courage……

Nothing could make me happier. 

After a short while, Hajime-san slightly tilted his head, almost as if he was urging something.

There was no need to ask what would happen next.

I closed my eyes, quietly responding to him.

After a pleasant wait, our lips were pressed together.

This kiss, it was very restrained, just like how he was.

My heart was beating loudly.

These thoughts became increasingly stronger in my heart, how I wish the two of us could stay in this forest at night forever. [check jp mtl. i’m probably going to go with something to the effect of: How I wish we could just stay forever in this moment, alone and encompassed by this forest at night.*this sentence is pissing me off lol.]

No matter what happens, I will never leave him again.

Saito:……From now on, I will never let you be this sad again. So, let me see you smile/your smile. In order to see your smile, no matter what happens, I will always return to you. [check jp mtl]

Before, I once asked him what he would do one day if he had to drink the Ochimizu for the Shinsengumi……

The answer that came from his lips without any hesitation, was to 【drink it】.

Yukimura:…………Nn. Hajime-san…… Hajime-san, as long as you stay by my side, I will always be happy.

He had asked me to smile, but i couldn't help but to continue crying...

As a result, I was smiling and crying in front of the person that i loved.

About half a month later, the 22nd of the 9th month——

The Aizu-han, which had been firmly resisting the New Government army, surrendered.

——End——

--------------

well, I probably could have made it easier for myself if I just copied the flashback text from SK/KW/EB... but I just couldn’t bring myself to look up the games to copy said text (had to uninstall them from my old pc for space to take stuff off my passport) since it’d really bother me knowing if I copied something than said it was my translation... which is why i didn’t. ah well. as a translator, the idea of taking credit on something that i didn’t translate really doesn’t sit well with me... but I still think that what I did for those parts came close to what I remember from the games...   

gotta say though: I really dislike the word 「隊士」. In both Chinese and Japanese... and that, as a translator,  i really don’t like how the Gregorian calendar names the months lol. it’s just so much easier to just leave the date as what it says based on the old Japanese calendar... with the era name and month number. let’s me not worry about doing research to ensure the accuracy of things (i require that all of my videos be precise when it comes to dates)... 

also, i wish it’d snow everyday for a week. id get motivated enough to finish a chapter with that.... tho it’d need to be a heavy snowfall so it’s very visible. lol. maintaining my motivation on one thing for a long period of time just doesn't come easy to me... especially when it’s something that has +4000 words in it.

[sanstropfremir]

kingdom episode 3 baby!!!!

listen. i’m not gonna lie i was nervous as hell for this episode. i saw that preview like everyone else and unfortunately i have ears so i was convinced the ateez stage was going to be a trainwreck. i was absolutely banking on sf9 and skz to do something even mildy interesting to save me from the ear damage and having to talk to extensively about why that disaster happened. but somehow i woke up in an alternate universe and you know what? with the exception of that high note the ateez stage fucked. i know. i don’t believe it either. i think i’m still in shock.

i’ll do individual breakdowns in order of favourites within the episode and then at the end i’ll put my personal ranking of all six. thank god i don’t have to do a stage breakdown again; if they change it again for next week i will scream.

ateez

a miracle happened. i don’t have to fight any of the staff at kq. i don’t understand either. jongho is so fucking lucky that the rest of the group pulled all that energy out of their asses because if they had been even a single iota less serious about it that stage would have flopped worse than a dead fish. i can’t believe we got this level of camp b movie schlock in the first full stage, and they stuck the landing. incredible.

fine i’ll address the elephant in the room. personally, i don’t think jongho is that good of a vocalist. he’s not bad, and he does have the potential to be a good vocalist, he just doesn’t have the training, and this is the issue with all of ateez. hanya talked about this before and i’ll say it again: he can’t switch to his head voice and he’s destroying his vocal cords by attempting to hit notes in his mid range that he should just jump to head voice for. frankly i’m surprised he got anywhere close to that note in his mid, but his technique is just not there and he’s gonna do some real damage to his voice if he doesn’t take a break and also get a good vocal coach. you can already hear the degradation in sound from their debut stage to now, and that’s in less than three years. ok i’m done talking about vocals that’s hanya’s turf, i’m pretending that that high note doesn’t exist and we’re moving on. also im in love with btob’s reaction it was fucking priceless.

costume

look, i have a one track brain and that brain can only think about seonghwa corset. seonghwa corset? seonghwa corset.

i know it’s not a real corset nor is it properly laced and i know this would never happen in a million years but a kpop mr pearl trend? i would die. just fully expire. there’s no coming back from that for me

yes i have laced boys into proper corsets before and yes it is as hot as you think it is (when it’s not work related, obviously)

ok now that i’ve got that out of my system for the moment, the costumes are actually pretty good. i’m a little obsessed with hongjoong’s coat although I know it’s stupid. fur? always, I love it, you’ll never change my mind it makes everything better. i own a lot of it and i wear it all the time. this is also a pretty good example of how to do a more modern styling within a very specific and recognizable genre.

i don’t hate the backup dancers’ costumes either, even though they would look a lot better in a not-pirate themed hiphop stage. because there is already a modern tint with the boys’ costumes, it’s not that much of a leap to the dancers, and they actually use the dancers and the camera really strategically to not put much focus on them.

the only real standout issue is the blacklight/contortionist moment, which is too gimmicky for me and doesn’t fit the rest of the theme. i do understand the purpose of them: you need a transition point from the upper deck to the more fantastical inner ship area, and blacklight paint is a really easy, cheap, and fast way to get four new costumes instantly. do i think they could have done something better though? yes.

set

this was actually a smart reuse of that pirate ship set. i know i clowned on them in the first stage that they could move on from the pirate gimmick but honestly? i’m glad they didn’t. this was fun as fuck. but also two stages was enough you can move on now.

i love how they actually used the weird double stage function that the false prosc creates for an actual architectural and narrative effect, instead of just sort of operating as though it’s just another place to travel just because you can. we are on the deck of the ship, and then we go inside the ship. it’s simple and effective. you don’t need to do a crazy amount of crossover to establish a dynamic sense of place.

i hate the ateez kingdom logo. i hate the ateez logo in general. get it out of there, at least you could have made something more fun and pirate themed.

would have loved to have seen them return to the hourglass at the end, especially if they got one that was specifically set for 4 minutes. would have been a nice bit of symmetry but i suspect it was struck before the kraken bit.

the kraken bit??? i was not at all expecting that and honestly? dope as hell. that big tentacle is just a custom inflatable santa claus that you see around christmastime and what a brilliant use of such a simple mechanic, especially to have it come through that weird little triangle arch they have upstage. smart way to use the existing architecture.

yes it is a gimmick but here’s why it works rather than just looks tacky like every other gimmick we’ve seen so far: it had a function within the narrative. this is so important. show us there’s a reason it’s there!

lighting

i didn’t love it but they did actually make some smart choices. the outer deck is warmer toned and has some good atmospheric effects, and the inner deck is cold tone and specifically lit with pin lights to imitate the light coming through portholes in an actual ship, which is so smart thank you lighting designer

also a very clear arc with the lighting, blue -> orange -> blue/red -> orange/multiple -> blue

sound

i actually kinda liked this remix? it fit theme and had a very clear dramatic arc. also i like wonderland, so sue me.

staging

WE DID IT, WE FINALLY GOT A CLEAR NARRATIVE FROM AT LEAST ONE GROUP! wonderland was actually a great choice for them because it’s a really good indicator of exactly how hungry they are. i was a bit worried that it would fall flat because it kinda rides on mingi but they actually pulled it off. i have literally no idea where they pulled all that energy from but holy shit you can practically lick the attitude off the screen. i’m also very impressed by the amount of information they managed to fit into that four minute narrative. we had a full conflict/climax/resolution, as well as a really clear understanding of the tenacity and drive of the group, as well as the desire to support one another in achieving their goals. bravo.

ok so like i said in the set section, they used that pirate ship bridge really effectively to create two different but connected spaces. this is a really smart way to make it seem like you have two spaces while having to only build one set. it was also one of the best ways to utilize this dumbass stage so it doesn’t just look like you’re running arbitrarily from area to area because you can.

also levels! levels are so important for staging but also hard to do in this context because you have to be able to move really quickly in and out of full group formation, but I think they did a really good job here.

continued point: the kraken arm worked because it was the conflict they needed to overcome in the narrative, so it had a function within the performance. also related: all the tricking and jumping also served a purpose within the narrative too. it was either used for fighting (yeosang kicking all those dancers on beat) or a demonstration of teamwork (jongho flinging yunho around on the floor). also frankly excellent use of choreographic formation with the backup dancers, each formation had a specific function and was meant to highlight ateez without being overbearing.

not a whole lot of camera choreo, but a fairly good long take at the beginning and the editing wasn’t too obnoxious which I think was more chance than intent, but i’m not gonna look a gift kraken in the beak.

sf9

i actually really liked this stage, and i really like that sf9 has established their colour as effortlessly elegant, which does set them apart from the rest of the groups. this stage was really choreographically complex and they made it seem so easy, so real props to them. however, like with ikon’s stage, there were a lot of good ideas that just weren’t followed through enough for me.

like ateez, song choice and theme were very well intertwined with this one, there was a lot of thought put into this stage. the pun with ‘jealous’ and ‘jilleosseo’ and having a fairytale/magic mirror narrative? fuckin GALAXY BRAINED. incredible. the implication that not only taeyang but the entire group is the evil queen from snow white? chef’s kiss. should have committed harder and put one of them in massive cloak à la king taemin mama 2020. instead it was subtle enough to not try to step on ateez’s schlocky camp toes but still just as serious and i love that. do i wish they pushed it farther though? also yes.

costume

not gonna lie, i had my reservations on the costumes when we saw the previews of them in the waiting room, but the thing about stage costumes is that they always look bad when not on stage. if they look good in the waiting room you’ve done something wrong. and i loved them on stage. big fan of that quilted vest/pseudo stomacher. please can we have a corset trend? y’all already adopted bondage harnesses, c’mon a little corset won’t hurt. also a good example of a modern spin on a recognizable genre.

i wish the backup dancers weren’t in all black but i am fighting single person battle against the entire entertainment industry on that one.

set

extremely simple with a few smart utilizations. had a feeling this might have been a budget thing, as it had a similar kind of vibe with ikon’s stage, but the use of the mirrors was smart and a fun device that served the purpose of the narrative.

working with mirrors on stage is really fucking hard, so kudos to them for giving it a go. for the most part it was pretty effective. especially with the combo of moving mirrors and moving lights AND moving camera, you’re kind of asking to either blind your audience or at least give them a headache. i once saw a production of the magic flute that had a rotating mirror setpiece and i swear i nearly went blind due to the constantly flashing reflections. you have to really be careful with directionality and reflection, especially with the added element of a camera. also you never use real glass mirrors on stage, it is unbelievably bad luck and theatre people are the most superstitious demographic on the fucking planet.

i kinda loved the draped gold dais. i have nothing else to say about it other than fun!

lighting

a lot of this was very weirdly lit and i’m not sure why. the quality on youtube is terrible and cameras already have trouble picking up detail in low light, and throwing a whole bunch of primary red over that (the colour with the longest wavelength and therefore disappears the easiest in the dark. also human eyes are not very good at distinguishing variations in the red spectrum) and the red costumes made it extremely difficult to tell what was happening.

i will give them props for dramatic lighting usage, especially for the two way mirror trick and for using the floor as a primary lighting source at the end, which i think groups should be using more of. how often do you have a lighting source in your floor!!! almost never!! use that opportunity!!

sound

i actually enjoyed this remix too. it was well suited to the dramatic nature of the stage. i think the sound byte at the beginning is ‘mirror mirror on the wall who’s the worthiest of them all’ but it also could be ‘who’s the worst of them all’ and that would be also fitting and kinda funny.

staging

again, not a lot of consideration for camera choreo in a meaningful way, and like the tbz stage I think the clarity in the actual choreo got hampered by the editing. because there was a lot of choreographic precision that went into making this work and it wasn’t totally obvious from the way mnet edited it.

a lot of them are actors so it works that they’re leaning more towards dramatic stages rather than the sort of performance type stages we’ve seen so far. i like this choice for them as it gives them a very obvious colour but they’re almost on the verge of making it look too easy, which does them some injustice.

next to ateez, using that long uninterrupted traverse was my favourite use of this stage. doubles as an easy way to build the atmosphere of a palace corridor/throne room with the rug, and to feed the drama of the piece.

skz

ok i have some…..things to say about this stage. so far i have not been kind to skz which makes me look like i hate them and i don’t, i promise. there were a lot of really interesting things happening in this stage and there some really successful ones, and i liked this a whole lot better than their intro stage, but their overall choreo and thematic dedication is really killing me. i’ll explain.

costume

I don’t hate them but also…….why? I got the good self vs evil self/internal struggle theme but the costumes don’t really have anything interesting to say about that. as far as modern style costuming goes i think they’re on the more interesting end, but they don’t push it far enough. there’s a few western art history visual motifs and honestly? they should have gone whole hog and whited out their faces/hair and made them look like classical sculptures. that would have been hella fun, especially with that little statue and marionette sequence, plus the shadow/leash manipulation.

this time it was actually intentional that the backup dancers were in blacks and i appreciate that.

why on EARTH did they have that ridiculous makeup that didn’t read on stage? theatre makeup and tv makeup are different, you can’t just do a light purple eyeshadow and expect to read under blue and red light. someone needs to bring an actual theatre makeup artist in and get these boys in some real crazy looks. see previous point about full-face white pancake. more extreme makeup please and thank you!

set

i liked the use of internal architecture within this massive weird stage space and they used the corridors quite well. i didn’t really like the mix of baroque scrolling and also graffiti, it wasn’t quite connected for me. this has been a common theme among this round and i think it comes from budget/props pulls rather than anything else.

also there was a distinct feeling of trying to fill the main stage space with bodies as opposed to atmosphere. this can work in some specific cases but the intent wasn’t strong enough for me. it just felt like a lot of people on stage, especially in the end choreo.

lighting

the general lighting was fine but not particularly inspired. the low light in the beginning was actually quite well done, especially combined with the fog, but in my opinion was not dramatic enough. you have a pseudo art history theme happening, pump that contrast and push the chiaroscuro!

ok stay with me, i’m gonna say something extremely controversial that might actually get me cancelled. s*per j*unior’s burn the floor did everything this stage was trying to do on a smaller scale and better. look i know ok, this is a like, a double atom bomb hot take. just forget everything you know about them and watch the performance video. tell me that’s not some of the most interesting choreo you’ve seen in kpop. if you’re going to work with practical light you need to COMMIT. not just steal the solar lanterns out of my mom’s back garden.

i have a lot of opinions on using practical light and alternate light sources in performance because it’s a huge part of my practice and this just....wasn’t interesting enough for me. push it further!

(I will wait for the subs on the full episode because there has to be a reason they chose that specific shape of lamp. if not i gotta ask jyp why he’s raiding my mom’s garden)

sound

god’s menu has such specific imagery associated within the lyrics and choreography that this stage was a bit dissonant for me. especially when seen in conjunction with two stages where the narrative was tied explicitly to the lyrics of the songs. i think maybe if it hadn’t been grouped with these other two stages i would have felt differently. the other groups chose to do songs were a little more abstract and allowed for more visual experimentation, but to go so blatantly against the food metaphor didn’t really work for me and i had a tough time divorcing the association. I found the arrangement to be a little lacking in energy for me towards the end but otherwise it was pretty interesting.

staging

Definitely a better performance overall that the intro stage. almost all of the gimmicks this time had relevance to the theme which i appreciated. the marionette bit and the shadow/mirror were probably the most interesting but i wish they were better lit.

 there was a lot of back and forth in the blocking that made the stage feel repetitive and also aimless? like there wasn’t a very clearly established directionality within the internal space, so it felt like treading over the same ground for no purposeful reason. and again, not a lot of intentional camerawork.

i really liked having the dancers under the big sheet, it fit well enough within the ‘war between internal selves’ theme, but also had a loose tie to the art imagery. again, i really wish they had stuck to a clearer visual theme. it makes them stick out especially in this grouping of stages, but also across all the groups as whole because almost everyone had a clear(ish) visual idea.

holy shit that’s a lot of backup dancers. i don’t really feel like that many were necessary and the sheer number of them took away from the emphasis of the group. with all of the other stages (except for tbz) it was very clear who the centre of attention and emphasis was, and with both skz and tbz they got swallowed by the sheer scale they were trying to operate at. bigger is not always better.

---

this is a tough round to rank because none of these stages are bad, there’s just some that are, in my opinion, more successful than others. all of these stages do very well in specific elements but fall short in others which also makes this ranking difficult. i’m evaluating these based on whether they were successful to me, as i’m pretty sure this ranking will probably not all be popular opinion, but whatever i like to live on the edge.

btob – visuals, vocals, narrative, swords? what more do you want me to say? also i watched the full episode and minhyuk did rehearsal with a real bokken and i think i am in love with him now.

ateez – honestly not sure if i would have ranked this first if that high note hadn’t been a mess. i love camp nonsense and i genuinely think this was a well designed stage. i can’t believe i keep saying that but it’s true.

sf9 – this stage was really solid, just could have been pushed farther. i think it has a really good sense of drama and it’s a pity that sf9’s colour is more subdued, because i think they’re going to be stuck around the 3rd/4th position for the rest of the show.

ikon – ikon is only ranking this high because although i am disappointed in the wasted potential of this stage, they NAILED the camerawork and actually brought in someone to block the steadicam into the choreo. also they’re incredible performers. i say this every time, but their stage presence, although maybe lower energy that they normally would be, is still not to be fucked with.

skz – i think this one is the most ‘meh’ for me. while i liked a lot of the elements here they just didn’t push it far enough and the lack of narrative and general aimless choreo led to me not having any strong feelings yea or nay.

tbz – to be quite honest the lack of costume unity is a big hit for me. all elements of design are equally as important but because of my personal practice and experience i tend to put a lot of weight on good costume and spatial design. i don’t actually like game of thrones also, so I feel mildly offended on behalf of michele clapton, who had did a fucking incredible job and doesn’t deserve to be slandered like this. also the lack of cohesive choreography and the overblown lighting made this difficult to watch, no matter how good i thought the rear projection/stretch fabric dance was.

 any questions or opinions you wanna share hit me up! see you next week!

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH18

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,121

- Author Note: I apologize if some of the thing in BTS caretaker sound cringy, i wrote this in 2017 lool so the old me is so hmmm , hahaha as much i wanted to edit it again, Im afraid i am gonna change the whole thing :< so i leave it be ahhaa thank u for reading <333

Previous | Next

Chapter 18

“To earth Ji Seul, why you look extremely lost these days?” Mrs Hwang nagged while her hand place the pancake swiftly filling the empty plate. Exhaling a tired sigh, Seul pinched the bridge of her nose easing the tense in her head. Her mother was not convinced with her answers, so she probed from Seul again “Did something happen at work? With the boys again? Or were you caught by their managers?” she bombarded her with questions.

Seul grimaced “It has nothing to do with the boys. Thankfully, I didn’t bump into any of them these days. They must be busy” her tone of voice was rather confusing at that time. Mrs Hwang on the other hand noticed the discomfort on her daughter’s face.

“If it has nothing to do with any of the boys, why Jin sent me a text in the middle of night just to ask your whereabouts?”

Seul look dumfounded as she flinched upon hearing Jin’s name “Why is he texting you and asking my whereabouts?” she mumbled with a little confusion evident across her face. As far as she concerned, the last text that they exchanged was two days ago. A simple new year message with a smiley emoji at the end of it, and she did give him a quick reply afterwards.

“According to Jin, he couldn’t reach you since yesterday”

“Why is he so clingy? What a mama boy, you are not even his mother. You are mine” Seul rolled her eyes in annoyance. Now, Jin went behind her back just to annoy her. Great.

“Technically, I raised those boys. They can claim me as their mother whenever they want. So, did you actually check your phone?” the older woman raised her eyebrows with so much interest. Most likely her interest was focusing on Seul’s love life. Considering how Jin would always come to her after his fail attempt to reach Seul, it appeared a little too fishy to her.

Her replied was a short no yet she quickly grabbed her phone to look for Jin’n text. Seul bit her lower lips reading through Jin’s message that sounded unimportant at first however her eyes rounded upon reading the last text left by him.

“OH MY GOD!”

“What? Why? What did Jin say?” glancing at Seul’s bewildered expression trigger her curiosity.

“OH GOD! I TOTALLY FORGOT!” she patted her forehead softly, humming to some low cusses. Unamused, Mrs Hwang gave her daughter a stern look still waiting for her answers, and the panic girl finally spoke up “They are filming their music video today, so Jin has already placed an order from our store a week ago. A food support for the staffs! I totally forgot about that. And I am in charge of it. Shoot, how can I forget that!”

“Tsk, Ji Seul when will you stop this clumsiness of yours”

She took a glance at her phone screen again “I only have three hours to prepare the thing” grunting under her breath, she tapped her fingers on the table nervously.

“And why are you still here? Go, before you upset your client!” her mother gave her a final look accompanied by a soft flick against her forehead making the girl squirmed. Pouting away the pain that consumed her, she leaned in giving her mother a quick peck on the cheek.

“I will get going now, don’t forget your treatment today. I have reminded Hoon about it, he is free this evening and will pick you up. Don’t go alone mother” she reminded her like an old grandmother causing the older woman to chuckle in her seat.

She nodded “Alright old woman, stop nagging me. Now, go!”

“Bye mother” with a final wink, clumsy Seul strutted to the main door with one hand tying her shoelace and other hand clutching onto phone near her ears. It would be one hell of a day if she failed to deliver it as requested. Her friendship with Seokjin was that close to the extent of exchanging the information of their personal life. The only thing he knew was Seul had another job which wasn’t only caretaking the boys, and that she worked in a tea shop.

Therefore, it led to this task that she’s willing to do for Jin.

 ----------------

“Alright that cup should go that way, you don’t want them to knock it off when they line up later” Seul scanned the truck diligently making sure they reposition the things that she pointed out few seconds ago. With a satisfied smile, Seul beamed “That will do! Thank you” the male shot her a grateful smile and proceed with other job.

Thanks to Wongeun, she was able to complete everything within two hours since the guy kept on track of special services requested by their client making it easier for Seul tending her job. She arrived at the filming location that was set one hour away from the city. An abandoned building, and it was intimidating at first but as soon as her eyes laid on the vehicles and staffs working on the other side put her at ease. At least she was heading to the right place.

One of the staffs in her early 30’s walked up to Seul with a friendly smile “Are you here for BTS food support from Armys?” she tilted her head scrutinizing the banner hanging loosely against the truck.

“Oh no, this is actually BTS food support for the staff. They have personally hired our shop to deliver it for everyone” her small eyes rounded as if trying to process the information that she just received and soon to be replaced with a wide grin.

“Really? We are not aware of it! Thank you, I will bring you to meet their manager then. We are filming the last scene at the 4th floor” she escorted Seul as she nodded willingly, tailing the friendly staff from back. Seul had to find warmer place, her white was turning a rosy in the cold.

Gnawing at the area, Seul was amazed to see the huge set prepared for the filming. The filming set was even colder indoor, though it was dusty, she could see staffs running from every corner tending their job patiently. Since this was her first time, she was a little excited to witness everything in live. Every nook and cranny of the area were filled with staffs and expensive equipment. That made this thing turned into a little dreamy for herself. Not that she ever imagined taking a step into such a large set, it was more amazing to be able to witness the boys danced to their new songs before her.

Hiding behind the staffs, she took a peak at the loud music boomed across the room. She heard shuffled of footsteps against the dirty floor, they were dancing hard. Amused Seul could not take off her eyes at the boys dancing to the music so perfectly and every step taken by them were super on point.

Who could stop these babytan. They were beyond amazing.

She noticed how their hair colour had changed following their upcoming back. Even though, she was watching them attentively, Seul made sure to be careful just in case one of the boys noticed her presence there. Facing the boys were the last thing that she ever wanted today.

Light taps on her shoulder brought her out of her dreamy state “Miss, the manager is still out for an errand, but he requested you to wait in the waiting room” Seul smiled and complied to her words. Taking a last glance at the boys, she didn’t realize her eyes met Jungkook’s causing the maknae to lose focus for a second.

“Cut! I think we need to retake one more time, Jungkook’s part is not in sync with others” the director exclaimed.

Jungkook bowed deeply “I apologize for my mistake Director-nim”

“Nah, it is alright. You guys have danced for an hour non-stop. Let’s take five!” Jungkook’s eyes were diligently looking for that one person that he hopped to see ever since the new year night. Ever since the thing he had with Seul three weeks ago, he had no time to visit the girl. Another thing was that, he totally forgot to ask for her number instead he just fled into thin air that night without a word.

What would she think of him?

“Jungkook-ah, your makeup next to be fixed” said one of the stylists making the younger guy to turn to her with a blank expression getting ready to be pampered again.

------------

Hoseok was monitoring their individual shots from the cameras while cackling excitedly. Stood beside him was sleepy Jin, whom ended up laughing along to Hoseok sudden outburst as they made fun of each other. When Jimin’s individual shot came in slow motion, the two older guys hollered “Look at Jiminie! He looks so squishy here” Hoseok retorted.

“I look super awkward here, look at my hand” pointed Jimin with a small pout.

“No, you are not! You look great, this look need to be protected at all cost” Jin smug proudly, resting one of his arms on Jimin’s shoulder. Namjoon’s butt in, chuckling away showing off his dimple “How did you stroke your hair like that? Does this hair need to be comb all the time” the leader teased Jimin only to receive a small whack from Jimin across his arm.

“I think Namjoon hyung looks the coolest when he raps” Jimin returned the compliment earnestly. To be truth, Namjoon is a cutie behind the camera but when he’s on camera his character change instantly as he’s living up to the name, Rap Monster. The boys would always spend their times monitoring each other during the break and ended up with compliments or mere tease just to liven up the mood.

Yoongi on the other side was getting his hair styled back to its original state earlier this morning, and immediately snapped his head to the boys’ direction upon he heard his name being summoned.

“Yoongi hyung running is as funny as me running” Namjoon gruffy giggled garnered the older guy’s attention.

“YAH KIM NAMJOON I HEARD THAT” Yoongi scowled with a meaningful glare.

Namjoon raised his hand in defeat “I did not say anything, Jimin did” like a flash he fled from the scene before getting nagged. Jimin gave the leader a disbelief looks as he returned his attention back to the screen, joining others laughing at their new victims, Jeon Jungkook.

The younger guy came with a confused face at first and quickly turned sour as soon as he realized his hyungs were teasing him. Jimin glanced at Jungkook’s side profile, smiling warmly like a proud brother he is, earning the latter’s attention. Noticing the stare, he received from Jimin, he swung his arm around Jimin’s neck, breaking into his cute bunny smile. They needed no word to describe how much they cared of each other, it was long gone ever since they became friends.

One single look meant everything. It was well understood by them.

Burying himself in his jacket deeper to seek warmth at the corner was Namjoon. He leaned against the cold wall, with his eye fixated on his phone screen. A message popped up from his screen got him to straighten his body almost immediately, as his forehead creased into deep frown.

His eyes scanned the area carefully making sure no one caught him acting weird before he left the area to more secluded place. Namjoon’s slender fingers glided across the screen and pressed his phone closed to his ears desperately to reach someone “Come on pick up” he grumbled in annoyance.

Attempt after attempt yet he failed to reach that one person he’s been dying to see since the news broke. His heart was broken into pieces upon receiving the news from Bang Pd a day ago however he would not let the thing to mess up his concentration on this filming.

Not to mention, he was scheduled to meet Bang Pd tomorrow so what’s the point of bringing it up now. He refused to believe the rumours that he heard at first, but it became more evident when he failed to reach the person to get the confirmation. Was it just him or the person was trying to avoid him? The truth was out to public now. The person had been keeping the secrets away from him when he deserved to know the truth.

It was hard for both of them. Yes.

It was complicated. Yes.

It did not give that person any right to go behind his back and left him in the dark.

It was torturous for him too.

Namjoon had been trying to keep his composure cool since yesterday despite the issues that he’s having right now. He did not want to disappoint his bandmates not when they had worked so hard for this comeback. Bangtan topped everything, he could not risk the group for his personal problem. When this filming end today, he would solve this thing right way.

Yes, that was the actual plan.

It came to no avail, when she came unannounced.

“SHIT! PICK UP” he grew frustrated. Namjoon really wanted to stop her from ruining this filming but that woman was so thick headed. For once and all, he had to end this. With that, he picked up all his might to make a quick run to the south wings. He sprinted using the last ounce of his energy in hope he would be the first one to reach there. Things could go from bad to worst in the blink of an eye.

Namjoon could not let that happen. Not here.

‘Please please don’t be inside’ he chanted inside his mind on repeat as he made a sharp turn at the corner, entering the room. His eyes landed on a figure with her back facing him, and without thinking straight he embraced the person into a tight hug.

He knew she was struggling in his embrace, but he did not care any of that. All he cared was to hug her one last time before he heard the sad truth. “Nuna…Is it true” he buried his face at the crook of her neck, fighting his own tears. Namjoon inhaled her sweet scent which he found oddly different that she usually does. Did she change her perfume?

Screw that. He demanded answer from her now. It was the truth he needed.

Her heavy breathing could be heard clearly as she was about to say something, however Namjoon was quick enough to hush her with another reply “No don’t answer yet. I don’t think I am ready to hear the answer from you, nuna” said Namjoon. His voice was completely broken as his tears already cascaded down wetting her shirt.

She gasped knowing Namjoon was crying and ran her fingers to his arm that wrapped securely around her, trying to loosen it up a little but come to no avail. He held onto her even closer “Nuna..Why is this happening to us? I thought, you wanted to wait until we figure this thing out” the latter mumbled.

“I am sorry nuna, it is my fault. I should have just make up my mind about you. If and only I am being honest to myself and Bang PD, this would not happen. You would not be….married to someone else… and you lost.. your job because of me” her mind paused momentarily, and her heart sank allowing the sadness engulfed it darkening her world.

“I tried… I really tried to fight for us. I did not try hard enough. Why are you marrying him when you told me that you love me? Am I a fool to you? Does my world is a little bit too much for you to handle? Why…you lied to me? You ignored me for a month. You did not even look at me. You are disgusted of me. Am I embarrassing you?” Namjoon’s word came out at once as if he’s rapping through it.

It stabbed her heart, the pain that he experienced, she could feel it.

Another silence.

Namjoon’s breath was shaky, he bit his lower lips holding back the resentment that he had for her. All the time that he spent to fight for this love burnt down to ashes in one night. He felt his world crumbled down in front of him, what else could he expect?

She’s married to someone else.

She gave him hope when she knew it was impossible to be together again.

She fooled him.

She toyed his feeling.

She was toxic.

Their relationship was toxic.

And, it came to this.

He must end it.

“I…am letting you go. Loving you was a mistake. Holding onto you was a mistake. Falling for you was my biggest mistake. I will mend my broken heart but..i will never forget what you did to us. You always put the blame on me. Now, I know who to blame” Namjoon murmured, raising his head slowly. He’s ready to face the truth now.

Bang PD was right, there’s no point on holding onto something that’s not his.

If she really loved him, she would wait for him.

“Fate is to be blame. The time that we spent was beautiful, so did the things that pain us” she heard him continue with so much regret and anger. His harsh breath gave her a goose bump. She needed a moment to decipher everything that she heard, why was it so complicated? It burdened her to witness something that she’s not supposed to.

‘Seul you are in a deep shit’ she mentally cursed hoping that Namjoon would allow her to say something and free her from this.

“Namjoon-ah….what are you do-ing?” there was another voice behind them, a familiar one to Namjoon. It came to his realization that the woman in front of her was not the same person that he expected it to be. Reality hit him so hard making him to spin clueless Seul facing him “W..hat” his face was losing colour when her face came into the picture, it was, Seul, their caretaker.

“What are you doing here…..” he breathed.

The woman made way inside with discomfort look evident across her face “We need to talk Namjoon-ah…” she eyed Seul from head to toe with a hint of jealousy. Namjoon still could not believe he just said something foolish in front of Seul and as a result showing the weak side of him. No one knew about his relationship except for his members. For some reason, Bang PD discovered it a day ago that rendered him speechless.

Out of nowhere, their caretaker was there and witnessed something that she’s not supposed to, how screwed up this could be. There was a long silence between the three, and Seul was still a little tipsy over Namjoon’s unintended confession awhile ago causing her mind went numb.

A pair of warm and small hand wrapped around her wrist startling her, bringing her soul back to her body. Seul’s dark brown orbs melted into Jimin’s soft one as their eyes met “Let’s go, you are at the wrong place” he murmured under his breath. Giving a quick glance at Namjoon, the older guy averted his gaze from meeting him. He was too embarrass to face Jimin as if he could read Jimin’s mind demanding an explanation and to fix the mess that he created.

Namjoon watched Jimin and Seul figure disappeared from his vicinity leaving him and his lover in the empty room.

“Let’s talk then”

He would find his ending soon.

 ------------

The two of them were standing side by side at the rooftop, staring blankly into the darkness. Seul knew the scene awhile ago was not intended for her to see, yet she couldn’t stop replaying it inside her mind. Namjoon’s sadness lingered and scarred her. Just how much it pains him, she wondered.

“Are you alright?” Jimin inquired could not comprehend the silence anymore. He gazed at Seul with concern hoping the girl was not too affected by it. Jimin ended up following Namjoon a while ago since he wanted to notify him about the filming only to see the guy dashed in panic passed him. Hence, to his surprise, Jimin saw Namjoon was holding onto a girl inside the room and he heard everything. Seul’s presence inside the room surprised him even more then he realized Namjoon messed it up.

He did not want to pressure the older guy anymore, therefore he came into decision to bring Seul out of the mess and let Namjoon settled his issues first. Sooner or later, Namjoon would open up to them about his problem. Jimin’s main concern was Seul seeing how pale she appeared, he knew it was not a good idea to stall.

It took her a moment to regain herself back before responded to Jimin accompanied with a heavy sigh “Yeah.. I did not expect to witness that. I feel guilty for…you know.. invading his privacy. It is his secret” Seul looked down on her feet with deep guilt.

“Don’t be.. Things happen for a reason. Namjoon hyung was not in a right mind either to differentiate you with her” Jimin smiled sadly.

“I am sorry for being a nuisance. I am complicating things for him. I really hope she doesn’t misunderstand. That will be bad”

“She deserved that. She hurt hyung. She deserved to be hurt” She decided to seal her mouth and not to ask further questions. Seul looked up, scrutinizing Jimin’s sharp feature. His eyes fluttered close, as soft sigh escaped from his pink plump lips making him even more dashing under the shining stars. She could not remember when was the last time to see Jimin this up close probably ever since the embarrassing bedroom scene last year.

Until then, Seul had no chance to meet any of them as they were busy preparing for their comeback.

“What are you doing here Seul-ssi?”

“It has been a long time, right? Well, I am here to work. The food truck outside is prepared for the staffs as a gratitude from you guys. Didn’t Jin inform all of you at all about that?”

“Ah..yes Jin hyung did mention about the food support thing. Didn’t know you’re working for the company?” his cheeks were tugged upwards into a cute smile.

Seul smiled softly “I work for them, so it is a special request made by Jin a week ago. I was about to leave discreetly until something unexpected came up, I guess we are fated to meet after all” she rubbed the back of her neck. Speaking of fate, these days Seul decided to just follow the flow of her life instead of putting too much pressure and plan on it. She grew tired running away from the truth therefore she’ll see how things went then came up with counter measure afterwards.

“Cool. You are a caretaker and a tea lady” he retorted with a light chuckle.

She found herself smiling at the image of his pink ears, as it matched his hair due to the coldness. Seul pulled out the heat pack casually from her jacket, since she brought extras with her. “Jimin-ssi, you may need this” she tiptoed a little matching his level and pressed the heat pack on both side of his neck.

“Keep warm, you don’t want to get sick” her eyes glimmered brightly melting Jimin’s heart. Jimin was lost in her kind gesture, as his hand skidded on top of hers “Thank you” he squished her hands.

Seul turned crimson red at the contact “Hmm..No problem” she pulled her hand quickly which upsets him a little. The feeling was soon washed over by Seul’s next move. She took off her warm gloves and took his hand in her sliding the glove over it without trouble. Seul repeated the same step with his other hand without breaking the smile on her face.  

“As I expected, it is the same size” she unconsciously caressing Jimin’s hand admiring it as if she’s the girlfriend. She bit down her tongue and hold back the coldness that started to lick her exposed skin. Releasing Jimin’s hand, she answered her phone nodding throughout the process. From the conversation, Jimin knew she’s ready to go but was he ready to see her go?

“Jimin-ssi, I have to go to meet your manager. Get inside and keep yourself warm alright? See you around” she never forgets to give a quick bow before leaving dazed Jimin behind. He smirked knowingly as he clasped his hand together loving the warmth from Seul’s knitted weave gloves.

 This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (15)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.2k (this chapter), 49.6k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"So," Phil starts, and then pauses. He has no real idea how to say this.

His parents wait patiently for him to gather his thoughts and his mum mutes the telly. Having their undivided attention doesn't really help, it just makes Phil sweat a bit. He can't even bring himself to sit down, too wired with anxious energy as he is.

The video has only been live for a day, but it's already one of Phil's most popular. People are clamoring in the comments for more; demands for proof and simple curiosity about what could explain his experiences. He's already had a call from Martyn about the benefits of going back and doing an update, but PJ and Sophie have put their two cents in as 'absolutely not'. Chris offered a don't care and then asked for Phil's mum's lasagna recipe.

Phil wants to stay. It's not so much about the mystery, for him, but he's pretty sure his friends and maybe even his brother already know that. He's got his own reasons for not buying a train ticket the moment the video went live and asking his divisive audience what they wanted him to do. Yeah, he'd been sort of hoping for this outcome.

He's not sure if he wants to stay for himself, for the stagnation that being here allows him, or if he wants to stay for deep dimples and a nice laugh. Probably a bit of column A and a bit of column B, if he's honest with himself.

"I uploaded the video on this case," Phil tells his parents. "And there were a lot of, um, unanswered questions. Because of that whole thing with the footage."

"Phil," his dad says, exasperation in his voice already.

"And that means more money from one case," Phil presses on, "because I don't have many expenses here and the ad revenue was really good in comparison to my last five videos. Martyn really thinks I should look into this some more. I promise I won't be here for months or anything, I just - just give me another week. Please, I just need a week."

Money talk usually gets his parents to back down a bit, but they exchange a long look between them that convinces Phil it isn't going to work this time. His mind is already whirring quickly, trying to settle on arguments that it thinks might win him this battle. He considers telling them that this is more than just a video to him, that his whole future feels like it's resting on this one mystery, but he has a suspicion that they wouldn't be very impressed with that lack of foresight. He's ready to bring out specific numbers when their silent communication breaks and his mum gives him a small smile.

"Phil," she says, echoing his dad with a bit more warmth and a lot more pity. "You know we need to talk about this, dear, why don't you sit down?"

He shakes his head and shoves his hands into his hoodie pockets so they don't see the trembling. He's not scared, he's just anxious, and his brain and body are conspiring to make him feel like he's going to die if something unexpected happens.

Phil doesn't like change. He doesn't like seeing his childhood house like this, he doesn't like having his career up in the air, and he doesn't like the way his parents no longer trust him to do what's best for himself. The worst part is that he's not even sure they're wrong - Phil knows he isn't thinking logically right now, that Martyn is the one who even mentioned ad revenue while Phil was busy wondering how best to prove himself.

"I'm good," says Phil. He hopes that the nerves aren't as palpable as they feel to him.

"Okay, well," his mum says, briskly rearranging things on the coffee table like she has to be doing something with her hands while they talk about this. He's reminded a bit of Dan in the coffee shop, of Chris in the attic, and he wonders what it is about him that makes people need to split their focus like that. "Your dad and I have been talking."

"About how I need to grow up?" Phil offers, heart in his throat. It feels like he might laugh or cry at any moment. "Yeah. I've noticed."

"We're retiring, Phil," his dad says. That's not exactly news to Phil - he knows why they're selling the house, after all - but he bites his tongue and lets his dad speak. "We've understood the... unstable nature of your work for several years now, but we can't keep bailing you out whenever you have a bad month. You're a smart man and you've got a good degree, you should have something steadier under your belt."

"We love how creative you are," Phil's mum chimes in. It almost sounds like they've practiced this. Phil bites down harder. "And if you can channel that creativity in a way that isn't so dangerous, you'll have our full support."

Phil kind of wishes that he already had their full support, but he's already had this conversation with himself. The work isn't fun for him anymore, and the risk of getting arrested for trespassing isn't a low one. It's almost not worth it when he doesn't have that full-blown excitement about a case.

He doesn't need every haunt to have a nice ending wrapped up with a bow, but he does need to like the content he's producing. Otherwise there isn't any point to it.

Still. It sucks to hear.

Phil deflates a little bit. His automatic defensiveness that springs up whenever his parents start questioning his many bad decisions in life is fading to something that feels like bone-deep exhaustion. The anxiety is still there, thrumming under his skin, but there's nothing he can really do about that. The truth is that he's been feeling listless and defeated and trapped for a lot longer than he's been back in his parents' house. There's no real point in pretending otherwise.

"Give me a week," he repeats, quiet. "I want to finish this project either way, y'know? Just let me stay for the rest of this week and - and if it doesn't pan out, if I don't find anything new, then... then I'm done. I'll stop. I'll find something else."

"Are you sure, sweetheart?" his mum asks. The relief that pulls at her shoulders and her pursed lips is enough for Phil to be sure.

"Yeah," says Phil. He gives them a little shrug. "I'm comfortable with what I'm doing. I like making videos and exploring places with cool stories, and even talking to people has been getting better. But you're... you've got a point. I can't keep doing this forever. Not at the pace and quality I like to maintain. If this video goes well, it might help me break into a more diverse and less dangerous niche, which would make everyone happy, I think."

His dad nods at him. "Okay. You can stay until Sunday, because that's when we're going to the Isle. You can do whatever editing and post-production stuff you need to when you get back to Brighton. We'll expect a call when you know for sure what you're going to do, Phil."

Phil swallows, clenches his fists tighter in his pockets. "You'll be the first to know."

--

Nobody asks Phil to leave, but he can't stay in the aggressively neutral version of his parents' house and field their 'casual' questions about what sort of things he might want to do if YouTube doesn't work. He escapes to the city again, sending a message to Dan on the bus. Instead of asking if they want to hang out with him, he simply asks where he can meet them today. As if it's a given that they're going to be spending time together.

Maybe that's presumptuous of him, but Dan uses an exclamation mark when they reply, im at home!, so Phil thinks it's probably fine.

Dan meets him at the door this time, mid-ramble about the broken dishwasher in their flat as if social niceties are no longer expected of them. That suits Phil. He grins back at Dan and joins them in the small but tidy galley kitchen, letting Dan talk his ear off while they scrub at some discoloured Tupperware.

"Sorry," Dan interrupts themself, turning big and apologetic eyes on Phil like they've just registered that he's standing there. "I'm having a weird brain day. Bit all over the place, you know."

"That's fine," Phil says honestly. He smiles, because Dan doesn't look all that convinced by it. "No, really, I don't mind. I like listening to you talk."

The blush spreads across Dan's face too quickly for them to hide by turning away. They try, anyway, and Phil is left looking at their face in profile, turned down and rosy as it is. "Normally I at least break for breath. What's new with you?"

"Since two days ago?" Phil teases. Dan's dimple makes an appearance right before the smile splits their face, and Phil has to twist his own fingers together so he doesn't reach out and poke at it. He's still working through some stuff, still doesn't want to make any decisions about this without thinking it over carefully, but he's never been good at resisting temptation either. "Uh, not much. My parents are still on my case. I'm getting good feedback on the video, but you probably know that already."

"It was a good video," says Dan. They pause as they dry their big hands on an old tea towel. "I... appreciate you saying that stuff about me."

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

Dan meets his eyes again, almost stubbornly ignoring the colour in their own cheeks. "I can appreciate things that you think are true, dingus. Take the gratitude already."

Phil grins. "Never."

--

There are snacks after that and some video games that Phil loses spectacularly and some good ferret snuggles. As the afternoon turns to evening, Phil watches Dan rearrange some titles on the bookshelf as they chatter about one of their science-y classes, no longer self conscious about how much they're talking. He's sitting on Dan's soft, unmade bed with Pixel, who keeps rolling around in the sheets like she's trying to get comfortable.

Phil is already comfortable. It's hard for him to ignore that Dan's bedroom feels so much like a safe haven in the way that his old house no longer does.

At some point Dan gives up on whatever system they were trying to implement. They pick Tofu up off the floor and flop onto the bed with Phil, wiggling around in almost the exact same way Pixel had. Phil presses his lips together tightly so he doesn't laugh.

"I think that things can be improved," Dan is saying, and Phil tries to figure out if they're still talking about the environment or if Dan has picked up the loose thread from their earlier rant about Bethesda. Pixel and Tofu are both running around like Dan and Phil are just bony jungle gyms, and Dan barely even stutters when one of them steps on their nose. "Of course they can be improved, it's not something you just give up on when things get tough, but the problem is that the people in charge have to implement the changes that are necessary for improvement, and - ow, that's my ear, don't bite that - and, uh... where was I?"

"You were telling me about climate change," says Phil. "Or potentially Todd Howard's ambivalence towards a quote-unquote 'perfect game'. I honestly lost track."

For a moment, Dan is quiet. Phil's anxiety rears its head for the first time since he got here, but luckily he hasn't stuck his foot in his mouth this time - Dan starts laughing, more or less cackling, and they roll closer to Phil to bury their face in a pillow.

Phil grins and reaches out to tug at one of Dan's curls, fascinated by the way it just springs back into place. He's done this to PJ once or twice or six times, but he's usually had a couple drinks before he resorts to it. Dan comes out of hiding with tears of laughter welling up in their pretty brown eyes and their dimples in full force, grinning up at Phil like he's the funniest person in the world.

"Those are both really important issues," Dan says, trying their best to sound deadpan when they're so obviously gleeful.

They wiggle around again and Phil says, "You look exactly like Pixel when you do that."

He's pretty sure that Dan honks at that, but he's immediately distracted by a ferret trying to bite his eyebrow.

This is good. Phil likes this. He's trying to dig himself out of the mindset that he'd backed himself into when he first started noticing Dan, because PJ might have had a point. Okay, so PJ definitely had a point, and Phil has been a bit of an idiot.

He won't know for sure how Dan feels about him being gay and uncompromising about that fact unless he asks, and he doesn't think he's ready to do that just yet. But there's a rainbow flag on Dan's wall and they don't consider themselves not not a guy, so... Phil thinks that maybe he's been assigning a strictness to Dan's own relationship to gender and sexuality that isn't actually there.

Dan is talking again, to their ferrets this time, and Phil is almost overwhelmed by the force of affection that washes over him now that he isn't trying so hard to hold it back. Dan's leg is pressed against his own and they're holding Pixel up like they're playing airplane with her and Phil likes them so goddamn much.

"Did you want to," Phil starts, interrupting Dan's musing about what goes on in a ferret's tiny brain. Dan looks up at him with such genuine happiness on their face that Phil's words stick in his throat. He should be asking if Dan wants to go out for dinner again or if they've seen whatever blockbuster action film is playing in cinemas this week, but that's not what comes out of his mouth. When Dan raises their eyebrows quizzically, what Phil ends up asking is, "Uh, come spend the night in the haunted house with me?"

Great. Real romantic.

--

Dan doesn't make a secret about how much they hate this plan. They say it over and over, but they don't take any of the outs that Phil offers them.

"I hate this plan," Dan says as they make a bunch of sandwiches. It seems like way too much for just the two of them, but Phil isn't about to say no to having a near endless supply of peanut butter and bread when they're stuck in a dusty attic again. "This is stupid. You should have just left it at the first video, Phil, that was fine."

"You don't have to come with me," Phil reminds them for the umpteenth time.

Dan glares. "No, I'm coming."

"You're a very complicated person," says Phil.

With a heavy sort of sigh, like they've been dealing with Phil for years instead of a week, Dan finally sets the peanut butter down. "Look," they say, pointing the dull knife at Phil for emphasis. "I can hate this plan and still want to make sure you don't get fucking arrested or possessed or trip down the stairs or something. PJ knows where I live."

"I think he'd be in the camp of me deserving it if I died in the Wilkins place," Phil says, his lips tugging into a grin. "But thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," Dan mutters. "Will you at least tell me why we're going back? I know you're fucking stubborn and all, but I didn't figure you for someone who beats dead horses."

"Oh, that's a terrible idiom," Phil says, mostly to himself. He reaches out to squeeze Dan's shoulder when he sees them get all huffy at the apparent avoidance. The tension leaving Dan's body under his palm is frustrating to feel, because there's nothing Phil wants more than to lean into it. The problem, of course, is that he really does need to talk to Dan before he starts trying to hug them in their own kitchen. Phil lets his hand drop awkwardly between them and shrugs. "Well, uh. This is the first time in a long time I've actually been excited about a project. And that makes me think that maybe I've worn out my welcome here. Not... not here like Manchester here, but here like... my job, here."

Dan leans their hip against the counter and looks at Phil with their brow all furrowed. "This is an ultimatum," they say. "Like, to yourself."

"Yeah," says Phil. "I need to solve this - or at least find something else that I can show to people. Because if I don't, then I need to actually look at myself and admit I'm not doing something I like anymore."

"It sounds like you're already looking at yourself," Dan says quietly.

"I guess."

"No, you are," Dan insists, their voice stronger now that they can assert an opinion. "Trust me, I'm a pro at unproductive self-reflection and existentialism. Who am I, what does it all matter, I know the song and dance. And I don't think that getting more footage is going to erase what you're already thinking, Phil. Tell me if I'm out of line, whatever, but if you want to do something else with your life then just do something else with your life."

The automatic defensiveness threatens to make Phil snap back at Dan that this isn't any of their business, but he's had a lot of practice in keeping his negative thoughts to himself. He gives Dan a little humourless smile and shrugs his shoulders.

"You're twenty-one," Phil says. "And a student. I don't really expect you to get it."

Dan puts their hands on their hips like they're settling in for a proper row, but instead they just say, "I know. I don't know what you're going through, sure, I doubt anyone knows what anyone else is going through at any time. And, yeah, I've got another year before I have to worry about my career. But I've made some fucking tough decisions in my life, mate. I dropped out of my law course after two lectures. I don't talk to my family anymore. I've tried on so many different names and labels that it would make your head spin. You don't like your job anymore, and one video isn't going to change that."

"Yeah, probably not." Phil looks down at their little collection of sandwiches, feeling lost and stubborn and a bit scared about how much Dan sees him. "But I have to try, y'know? I can't just give up. I have to try."

There's a long moment of silence. Then, Dan sighs.

"Okay. Put these in a container, we don't use unnecessary plastic in this flat. Just whatever they fit in. I'll make some coffee for the road and find our Scrabble board."

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 18

IN THIS EPISODE OF ROBLOX OOF NOISE:

“Yes.” Glynda couldn’t hang up, not without: “I’m—I’m sorry. About what I—”

“It’s alright. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay—” The feed cut. Softly, Glynda said again, “Okay.”

GLYNDA DISCOVERS WHY BEING CINDER FALL SUCKS

do u know how hard it is to wake up and play animal crossing whilst knowing this chapter looms over yr shoulder,

OKAY HERE WE GO

She was fidgety; even Cinder mentioned her pacing, shooting a critical eye her way. Glynda sat, intent on stillness; moments later, Cinder mentioned her bouncing leg.

i LOVE it when a chapter calls me out just right out of the gate hahaha who gave u the right

"Really?" How long had they been doing that? How long ago had Cinder noticed? "Should I stay?"

cinder: maybe i should tell glynda abt that /see glynda pacing a dent into the floor cinder: ooooooor i could. NOT give her an excuse to bully them for something to do,

On her way down the street, Glynda couldn't help but stare at the car, its tinted windows revealing nothing within. As she passed it, she kept glancing over her shoulder, expecting an attack or something. But nothing came of it.

HJGDFSGSDFHKGHJDF GLYNDA,,,,,,,,,,, can u imagine being in the white fang, and sittin in yr fuckin. TINTED WINDOWED like BULLETPROOF CAR and yr sat on yr ass watching out for cinder “dumbass” fall and suddenly glynda goodwitch, The Top Bitch, comes out and starts GLARING YR CAR DOWN,,, like ah. i think she knows we’re here. hrm. hm.

i would just like. drive to mcdonalds and get some nuggies at that point.

She had a clutch of flash-images and a wash of emotions and impressions, the raw materials of memory, stored as-is without refining. She was quite used to that—most of her missions were hazy and rough in her memory, mere sketches of events.

i cant wait for glynda to become a vlogger if only so she can actually have physical proof of whatever the fuck happens whenever she goes out and about. get her a go-pro.

It told her: despite her restlessness, despite the arduous journey here, and despite the way Vale seemed to call for her from somewhere beyond the horizon, she felt quite content to be where she was.

the difference having a gf has huh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, u got a whole ass home (being cased by the fang) a real nice city to live in (its floating and atlas wants yr number) a bunch of unread msgs (from a [redacted] who [redacted]) and its a nice day!!! its all coming together. but probably not for very long,

(i got very distracted at this point making a line graph for the animal crossing stalk market so here we go, x2 edition,)

That meant the nightlife would soon begin. She had never liked crowds; too many people, too much input at once. It was hard to focus, to be comfortable.

/chefs kiss

autistic glynda did u kno: id die for u,

Since she’d blocked Ozpin’s number, there was no chance of receiving anything directly from him—but there was still a moment of pause each time she checked her Scroll, as if expecting his smiling face to appear somehow.

OH YEAH LMAO SHE DID THAT SHIT HUH,,,,,,,,,, i still cannot BELIEVE that happened. GOD. cant wait for this to bite her entire ass right off her body,

By the time she reached the top landing, Winter had replied: “I wasn’t aware that you had additional support on this mission, Professor. I will need their full name and Hunter’s license number.”

To answer Cinder Fall and she doesn’t have a license, but she does have several warrants for her arrest felt like inviting Winter to question not only her integrity, but her sanity as well.

SDHGJFKSKGHDJFGJHDKF i cant say what makes this funnier because 👈😎👈 but HOHOHOHOOOOO could u imagine the fallout if she did just, say that shit. if we just went and fuckin said it like it was no biggie--

Finally, Glynda let her shoulders relax, exhaling deeply, like she would before rushing a Grimm. She wrote it plainly: “The clearance is for Cinder Fall.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MA’AM WHAT THE F U C K

winter rn:

She’d just have to wriggle her way out of having to talk face-to-face, then return the game to a field she felt slightly more comfortable with: text.

okay this is so funny to me cause i just keep thinking of her sending ‘no reason’ to oz. a MASTER of textual conversion. un fucking PARALLELED in this field, UNRIVALLED,

Glynda tossed a look at the door as well, her mouth pulling into a line; what if Cinder came outside? What if—

Could Winter track her exact position using her Scroll signal? She minimized the projection of Winter’s face and hurried off in a random direction the instant she hit the bottom of the stairs.

i LOVE these two because this is the first time we’ve rly seen glynda like. Actively do smthng to defend cinder in this sort of way? she’s been pretty passivve abt letting cinder take the lead when theyre together but on her own shes thinking of all the contingencies to make sure winter cant find cinder and u know what. thats gay. what will u do for yr not-gf when yr talking to someone who would kick her ass in a hot second,

also im TAKING to grab choice lines here to comment upon but honestly this next section is SO GOOD that im rly struggling to find a line to encapsulate how much i am LOVING this convo. i cant say exactly WHY im loving it because again thats 👈😎👈 BUT KNOW THAT THIS IS VERY GOOD FOOD AND I AM ENJOYING IT. and im also enjoying this line a lot

Winter’s voice was decisive: “Professor, if you hang up on me, I am flying to your location—tonight.”

winter: if y’all dont shut the fuck up back there i am turning this car, city, and continent AROUND,

It was the same thing, over and over: people didn’t understand her and she didn’t understand them. It was an exercise in futility that only gave her grief. In the end, she gave up on trying to explain herself. She resigned to being wrong, to always being wrong, even when she knew she wasn’t.

OOF OKAY WHAT THE HELL IS UP W/ THIS FIC AND CALLOUTS. HUH??? ME BITCH!!! I FEEL THAT!! AND IT SUCKS,

/reads the next bit

oh are we donning our tinfoil hats? we’re donning our tinfoil hats.

It was so easy. Glynda didn’t stumble over her words even once; didn’t waver. She was built for doing harm. Her anger burned hot and clean; it excised all the hurt like a malignant tumor.

Maybe she really had learned something from Cinder—channeling her frustration, her guilt, her pain, all of it into anger like this was something Glynda was new to. But it felt good. She leaned into it, letting it take the reins; the distressing memories vanished like wisps of smoke, vaporized by the heat of her wrath.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS god this is. SO EXCITING. i also love it when ppl rub off one one another its my FAV thing in the WORLD and this anger is. WOO. this anger is. DANDY. its also a very short-term burst of pleasure glynda so enjoy that hollowed-out whoopsie feeling that i sure get when i Blow Up,

“She butchered my friend!” Winter snarled, the camera shaking as she slapped the desk. “She butchered my friend in the streets like he was cattle! And I have done everything in my power to help you! Everything! To keep her from doing the same to you, and you’ve blown me off or lied or—” Winter’s voice snagged. “And now you tell me—you accuse me—”

It was early evening in Umbraroot, but it must already be night in Atlas. The shadows revealed the unclean angles of Winter’s face: the bruises of exhaustion under her eyes, the lines of stress at the corners of her mouth.

im sorry im just copy-pasting wholesale at this point but OH this is GOOD. i cant rly explain. like. the difference-- because you’d think from the og version this is just a bit more flavouring right? its like getting a bit of hot sauce on yr chicken wings and yr like ‘okay it adds smthng but its not like a side meal’ BUT IT IS A SIDE MEAL this is like a whole basket of fuckin. cheese-baked fries. winter DESERVES this screentime she DESERVES to have presence in this fic and OH does she USE IT im LIVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Glynda wanted anger. She wanted fire and brimstone. She wanted a fight.

What she got was the glisten of tears on pale lashes. A hand covering Winter’s trembling mouth.

The ashy taste of remorse in her throat.

THERES THAT HOLLOWED-OUT WHOOPSIE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IT IS RIGHT ON TIME. its like CLOCKWORK,

She didn’t have anything. Nothing against that. The possibility that Winter might truly care what happened to her had been so insignificantly small and easy to trample. She had forgotten about the losses Winter shouldered the moment Cinder had whispered inheritance.

it’s just like clockwork,

also this chapter feels lengthy but maybe its just cause i got distracted with animal crossing so ill have to do a wordcount check at the end

/checks

no its lengthy this is a thicc one,

“I know,” Glynda said. “I know. I know how this sounds. But she’s the only person who makes me feel like—like I make sense.” In her mind, Glynda lay in the darkness of Cinder’s bedroom, watching the glaze of streetlights along her lips as she said you.

you,,,,,,,,, we,,,,,,,,,,,, our,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its all that gay shit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Cinder Fall is a tremendous liar. She could convince you it is raining in Vacuo, given enough time. Two years ago, I was working on the Argus base, where I met her as a client; she told me she was a merchant seeking entrance into Atlas—she had all her documents in order, her entire persona set up, and she sold it perfectly. She was flawless—and all of it was fake. She gave me no reason to doubt her. She was—”

Winter cut herself off, abruptly. Then: “Once I was comfortable and safe, she burned down my office and murdered my friend.”

YES,,, SLOWLY THE LORE PIECES TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! winter is once bitten twice shy, but mayhaps we mean,,, once burnt,,,, twice shy,,,,,,,,,, hrmmmm,

Glynda told Winter everything.

OH MAN,,,, we’re really getting this messy fucking trio up in this bitch i am SO excited. i am THRILLED. here! we! go!!!!!!!!!! also i said it before but again im so glad winter gets to Be Here for this. sure this has nothing to do w/ her destiny or w/e but shes here now. shes in the uber. she waiting outside.

The dying potted plant Glynda had spotted last time on the back wall’s shelf had been replaced with a new one; this one’s leaves were beginning to shrivel at the ends.

dsfjhhkljsdf side note: is this like that scene in finding nemo where all the new fish see the niece and go ‘oh no we’re gonna die’ but instead its plants getting taken into winters office? they go ‘im sorry, mate, but once you go into her office, you come out TOTALLY dead,’

okay so this whole convo happened and if i try to pick one section ill end up picking it all AAAAAAAAAAAAAA im dying out here. WINTER BLEASE,,, BELIEVE THAT SOMETIMES CINDER CAN TELL A HALF-LIE. A SORTA-TRUTH. A SEMI-HEMI-DEMI HONESTY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

How different would that mission have gone? How different would her life have been?

She found herself saying, “He had so many chances to tell me. Instead, he let me think I was reckless. That I was a danger to other people. I stopped working in teams. I didn’t have many people in my life to begin with, but afterwards was worse. He saw to it that he was all I had, and he let me think it was my fault.”

ROBLOXOOFNOISEDISTORTEDWITHDELAY.MP4

OOF!!!!!!! O O F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly OOF that shit HURTS BITCH!!!!!!! thats BANANAS. WILD. im also loving (hating???) the increase of painful glynda lore and honestly everyone feels like they have So Much More that builds them up and im THRIVING off it. im also suffering for it.

With the video feed closed, Glynda could see she had new notifications. Missed calls. From Cinder.

Glynda’s stomach lurched. She stowed her Scroll before she could think about them.

At the mouth of the alley, she could see the shape of Cinder’s apartment in the distance. She stood there for a long time, staring, uncertain what to do with her hands, unsure what to do with her heart. Her jaw flexed. She remembered the tears on Winter’s lashes. The friend she’d lost.

Glynda took her first step toward the apartment.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and so the soft domestic shit ends. but nowhere near as explosively as id thought???????? HUH. H U H. must b because we’re gearing up for smthng honk honk honk

ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. this chap was SO good its astonishing (despite the [several] times i got distracted by animal crossing rip me). WINTER!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe this disaster trio is coming together. also cant wait for glynda to tell cinder the shit she just pulled. oh no,

(also the wordcount was 5,931. just in case u were curious)

[lotustories]

Define: Love

Pairing: Jungkook x F. Reader

Type: Fluff, Slight angst, possible smut

Warnings: rude behavior, vulgar language, mentions of alcohol, sexual activity

Chapter Navigation

Chapter 1

College. It’s supposed to be a new beginning, a place with no judgments, a place to explore, a place to learn who we are supposed to be for the future. You didn’t expect things to turn out the way they did, but everything happens for a reason.

You were moving into your dorm today, your entire family helping you carry your things to your room, you carried a box of your clothes. The box bigger than you, up to your room. As you entered your building you bumped into someone, your bodies colliding as the box in your hand fell. The annoyed grunt coming from the person in front of you. “Shit, I’m sorry.” The voice rang, you lifted yourself up. Your eyes meeting the pink haired boy in front of you. “It’s okay, it was my fault I couldn’t see.” You sighed, leaning down to pick up your things. “I’m Jimin.” His lips pulled into a bright smile. The type of smile that made you smile. “I’m Yn.” You smiled back, his eyes going to your box as he lifted his up. “What room you in?” He nodded to the building. “Ah, 218.” You smiled and he raised his brow. “I’m 215.” He smiled slightly. “Guess i will be seeing more of you.” A small giggle escaping your mouth as you gazed at him. “I look forward to it.” He smirked at you before walking in the opposite direction.

You found your room quickly, entering to your family organizing your things to the side. “What took you so long? You carried one box.” Your brother huffed out of breath. “You left me the bigggest box.” You cried, your brother laughing as he took the box from you. “Truthfully, i didn’t think you would even bring it up.” He snorted, placing the box on your bed. “I didn’t know colleges allowed single room dorms.” He examined your room. “It’s just this building. They’re testing it out.” You shrugged. “How do you get it? You have like thousands of kids here.” Your brother sat on your bed. “It’s for freshman and sophomores only.” You shrugged. “It’s based on scholarships.” His eyebrow raised. “Privileged much?” He snickered. “Singled room dorms and co-ed.” He lies back, his arms resting behind his head as he closed his eyes. “Is it too late for me to change schools.” You rolled your eyes as your parents gathered their things. “Well, I suppose we should be off now.” Your moms eyes glossy, your father sighing as he pushed her towards the door. “Cmon, we’re going to catch all the parent traffic on our way back.” He tapped her backside, your brothers face immediately pulling into a disgusted reaction. “One more year.” He pulled you into a hug. “One more year.” He sighed. “Take care of yourself. Call us if you need anything, study hard!” Your father hugged you tightly. His arms crushing you as he said goodbye. “and stay away from boys.” Your mom followed. Her arms wrapping tightly around your neck as she cried into you. “Mom,” You groaned, attempting to pull away. “I’m serious.” She glared, forcing your eyes to meet hers. “Mom, stop.” Your brother pulled her away. “I can’t imagine what they’ll be like when you leave.” You joked but your brothers eyes filled with horror as he came to realization that this would be him in a year.

As you finished unpacking, you change clothes before heading out to explore the grounds. Everything was so much more lively than last time you visited. Booths set up all across campus to try and get freshman to join clubs. You came across a photography table, the girl immediately lighting up as you stepped to the booth. “Hi, my name is Jenny.” She smiled brightly, excited that you were there. “Hi, I’m yn.” You nodded, greeting her back as she slid you a booklet. “Interested in photography?” You gave a nod and she sighed in relief. “Uhm, wow okay.” She laughed, her voice jittery “Sorry, we don’t really get people in our club, we’re on the brink of shutting down. It’d be helpful if you did join,” she admitted. You lifted the booklet and flipped through. “We don’t just do photography. Uhm,” she pointed at the booklet. “We also do videography and teach students how to edit and script write.” Your eyes perked up. “Script write?” Something you loved to do. “Yeah, uhm.” She swallowed her words. “We, uh, the script writers help our directors know what path to take. It helps them focus on the vision that they want.” You looked down at the sign up sheet. There wasn’t anyone. “You guys don’t have anyone.” Jenny’s face immediately pulled into a frown. “Yeah, nobody is convinced with my explaining.” She laughed softly. Her shoulders shrugging as she sat down defeated. “and it’ll stay that way.” You felt someone wrap their arms around yours, dragging you away from the table before you could process what was happening. “Hi!” A medium size girl cheered as she dragged you away from the booth. You body colliding with someone, the items in his hands falling, but the girl attached to your arm moved too quickly for you to see who it was, a small grunt fading as you moved further away. “My name is Amber.” You finally looked at her. “Uhm?” She stopped in front of a sorority booth. “You should rush.” She sat down in front of you. “and why would I do that?” You groaned, the two girls beside her scoffing at your comment. “Because we are the hottest soriority on campus. Alpha Chi Omega is one of the best things you can ever attempt.” Her tone, fake, but the way she spoke intrigued you. “And why me? you dragged me halfway across the campus to get me to rush.” Your eyebrow perked, a small smile creeping onto her lips. “You’re hot. We’re hot. A perfect match.” She slide a pen over to you. “Listen, Im not saying you’ll get in 100%, but it won’t hurt to try.” She shrugged. Hmph. At least she was honest. “huh, why the hell not.” You leaned down, scribbling your name on the bottom of sheet, it fuller than the first booth. “Well, yn.” She read your name off the sheet. “I look forward to seeing you rush, please join us tonight.” One of the girls next to her handed you a flyer. “Dress sexy.” She winked and you went your way.

After wandering the school for what seemed like hours. You entered a cafe, small, but nice. Every ounce of furniture made from wood. You were lost in admiring it that you hadn’t realized it was your turn. “Sweetheart,” a voice broke your thoughts. “Oh!” You blinked. “Sorry,” you gave a small smile to the barista in front of you. He was beautiful. Tan skin, dimpled smile, and glasses. “Uhm, Iced Americano?” You questioned. Hoping they had it as a drink. “We don’t have that,” he giggled as he slide you a menu. You laughed nervously as you looked down at it. “Let me help them and I’ll get back to you?” He questioned, you nodded as you moved to the side and looked through the menu. “Still haven’t decided?” The kid walked over to you, the sleeves on his shirt now pushed up as he leaned over the counter to speak to you. “I’ve never heard of half of these drinks.” You furrowed your brows. His lips pulled into a smile as he stood up. “Are you in a rush?” His eyes watching you carefully. “No.” You started and he smiled wider. “Then I will surprise you.” He walked off before you could protest. You continued flipping through the menu and suddenly a glass mug appeared in front of you. The liquid pink, topped with whipped cream, cinnamon, and tiny little flowers lying on top. It was beautiful to look at. You looked up to meet the eyes of the barista. Your eyes flying to his name tag. Joon. “What is it?” You smiled at him. He leaned down, grabbing a wafer straw and sticking it into the cup. “Drink it.” You eyed him curiously as you leaned down to take a sip of it. Your eyes widening as the drink filled your mouth. “Hmmm, oh my god.” You gasped, his eyes crinkling as he laughed softly. “What is it?” You smiled, sipping more of it. “Rose latte.” He tapped the menu. “One of our most popular.” You pulled out your wallet but he shook his head. “No, on the house today.” His eyes gazing into yours. “Maybe next time you come, you’ll have a better idea of what to order.” You smile widely. “Thank you,” your conversation interrupted by his co worker calling out to him. You wanted to stay and talk, but he was way too busy.

Heading back to the dorms to get ready for tonight. Dress sexy. What was considered sexy to these girls? Sexy to you was anything you felt confident in, but that included jeans for you. Surely they wouldn’t be okay with you wearing jeans to a sorority party. You rummaged through your clothes, tossing them onto the floor as you tried to piece together something. You eventually came across a small black dress. “Good enough,” You shrugged. It’s been a while since you’ve been out. You weren’t really the party type, but your ex boyfriend was. He was always dragging you to the parties, leaving you on the couch as he wandered off with friends. If anything, you despised them. You stared at yourself for a good twenty minutes. Debating on whether you liked the outfit or not. Was it okay? Would it help you get picked? Your alarm went off, signaling you to start heading toward the sorority. It was dark out already, your body filled with anxiety as you edged through the campus alone. “why are you walking alone?” A voice making you scream, the kid falling to the ground as you yelled. “God!” You grunted as you recognized him. “Don’t do that!” You squealed. Sticking your hand out to help him up. “Noted.” Jimin reached for your hand, he gave a small laugh as he started walking with you. “But seriously, you shouldn’t walk by yourself at night.” He fixed his hair, “and I shouldn’t sneak up on women walking alone.” He added. You gave small laugh as you turned to look at him. “Where are you headed?” He questioned, looking at your outfit with curiousity. “Sorority party, I’m rushing.” He smiled brightly. “What sorority?” He seemed interested. “Alpha Chi Omega.” You shrugged and he smiled down at you. “I’m in Delta Chi.” His smile not fading. “I hope you do get in, they’re good people.” You scoffed. “Are you sure about that?” You questioned, “kind of intense.” You shrugged. You both edged near a huge brightly light house. “Wow,” Jimin walking up while you stayed behind to gawk. “Come on Cinderella, the ball is inside.” He chuckled as he pushed open the doors. So many people inside, it was as if the doors closed muted the sounds of the party. “Jimin!” A few guys called out, Jimin getting swallowed by the crowd leaving you to find your way around. The house was crowded and you felt lost. You couldn’t find amber nor Jimin, so you attempted to make your way to the bar. Before you could reach it, an arm pulled you away. “Yn, we’ve been waiting for you.” Amber appeared, dragging you to her circle of friends. “This one?” The unfamiliar face eyed you. “Why?” She added and amber pouted. “Please, Jada. Your recruits are unfitting. We were down 15% last year.” Amber argued as you were confused to what the conversation was about. Jada looked back to you, eyeing you up and down as she raised her brow to judge. “Hey, take care of this one.” Jimin walked by, his arm wrapping around your shoulder respectfully as he joined the circle. Jada’s entire attitude switching as she watched him. “Of course! We love her.” She lied, Jimin ignoring her as he looked down to you. “Don’t walk back by yourself, I’ll go with you. Find me when you’re ready to leave okay?” He said seriously. You gave small nod and he walked off. “How do you know Jimin?” Jada’s voice somewhat snappy, but she was genuinely curious. “We’re in the same building, I ran into him this morning.” You explained and she gritted her teeth together. “Down, Jada.” Amber glared, she turned her attention to you as Jada stormed off. “God, fucking ignore her.” She exhaled. “Jada is our senior. This is her last year here,” amber explained. “Thank fucking god for that.” She rolled her eyes. “Jimin is younger, he’s in the sophomore class, but she has this weird obsession with him.” She sipped her drink, shrugging. “Jimin doesn’t want her,” she shrugged again. “Obviously.” You couldn’t help but snort at her comments. “Anyway, i think you’ll be a good fit. Besides, you will have Jada’s vote now that she knows Jimin is your friend-slash-building mate.”

The night went on, conversations after conversations and introductions after introductions all making you nothing but tired. “Hey, Im gonna head home.” You whispered to amber, a tongue attached to her neck as she nodded at you. “Jimin, upstairs.” She was too distracted to answer correctly. You glared upstairs, debating on if you should go up to find him or not, but you really didn’t want to walk alone either. You tried to squeeze your way through the crowd, making your way upstairs as quickly as possible. “Great.” You laughed at yourself. The hall way of rooms making you grunt as Jimin could be in any one. You knocked on the first two, but no answer. Making your way to the other side to repeat, no answer. You didn’t even feel like going down the entire hall so you turned around. Leaving the party alone, like Jimin advised you not to do. Who knew the campus could get this black. It was as if the lighted pathway was doing absolutely nothing. What was the point of having lampposts if they weren’t going to light the way properly. You continued down the pathway when you heard heavy footsteps and breathing following you. “Hey!” They huffed, “I said find me.” Jimin caught up to you. “Did you run all the way here?” You gaped, why would he do that? “Yes, I’m serious. You shouldn’t be alone.” He tried to swallow his breath. “not all guys are as nice and sweet as me.” He swallowed still out of breath. “I’m flattered that you ran after me.” You smiled. “I did try to find you, I just couldn’t and I’m tired.” You shrugged and he saw you shiver. “Here,” He unzipped his hoodie, wrapping it around your body as he rubbed your arms to get them warm. “Thank you.” You smiled once again. “Are you this nice to all the girls you meet?” You joked, but he only smiled shyly. “Only the worthy ones.” His dimple appearing as he watched you. “So, did they accept you?” He questioned excitedly. “I honestly don’t know. Amber wanted me, but Jada didn’t really want me there. I could feel it.” His face cringing at the sound of Jada’s name. “Ah, not a fan?” You laughed and he shook his head aggressively. “She-“ He tskd. “I don’t even know how to explain that one.” He laughed loudly. Arriving to your building, he held the door open for you. “We’re on the same floor.” He moitioned for you. “Stairs or elevator?” He asked, you wanted to keep talking to him, but you were tired. “Any other day, I would’ve said stairs.” You pouted. “But Im five seconds from falling asleep on the floor.” You laughed as he pushed the button. “So I heard you’re a sophomore.” Jimin nodded as he let you on the elevator first. “Yes, although don’t ask me my major. I’m still undecided.” You both pushed floor 2, your fingers touching making you jerk back shyly. “Sorry,” You whispered but he only smiled. “Well,” he stopped in front of your door. “This is you.” You removed his hoodie and handed it back to him. “Thank you for walking me-to and from. Sorry if it ruined your getting laid chances.” He shook his head. “Getting laid by random girls is not my thing.” He watched you carefully. “I’m more of a walk a girl home and hope I get a kiss on the cheek, and maybe a date kind of guy.” He flirted, cutely. Your eyes crinkling as you smiled at him. You stood on your tippy toes, pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth. Almost a kiss, but not quite. You could feel him smiling as you did so, pulling away to a rosy cheeked jimin, nearly matching his hair. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You whispered softly. “8?” He pushed, but you allowed. You gave a small nod and he smiled happily. “Goodnight yn,” he licked his lips, trying his best to stop himself from smiling. “Goodnight, Jimin.”