#(in case the readmore breaks or something)

[potofsoup]

Happy July 4th, everyone, and good luck to the UK voters out there!

Wow it's Year 11 of doing these!! Here's the AO3 link to the past 10 years, and here's the tumblr link.

Reminder that this is a long game -- some of the judges making decisions were appointed back in the 80s. Many of the cases that were decided this round were from Trump's term. So it's going to take long-term, consistent voting over a decade to start tipping things in the other direction. (Which I talked about in 2018 re: Trump shenanigans and 2022 re: Dobbs).

A lot has been done by the Biden administration (I'm assuming most folks have seen this post by boreal-sea with their very helpful sources), and much of that will be overturned by Trump, especially if he gets the Senate, and especially now that he would have a blank check for anything "official". So let's make sure that doesn't happen.

And even if Trump does get elected, your decisions down-ballot might effect control of the House or Senate, or might make it easier to vote next time, plus the whole plethora of state and local issues. It's Republican state attorney generals who are challenging climate regulations, for example.

Plus, when you really get down to it, only one of the candidates plans on pardoning himself and all his friends if he wins, and attacking the government if he loses. Maybe that guy shouldn't be the President.

If you're new to voting, remember to check voter registration deadlines! I'm a permanent vote-by-mail voter and it's so nice. :)

Transcript under the readmore

Page 1: Sam and Bucky meet up with Steve for a picnic. Steve: Thought you guys were still in Sudan? Bucky: I’m forcing Sam to take a break.

Sam collapses onto the picnic blanket. Sam: Oof, it just never stops, does it? Steve: Nope.

Bucky hands Sam an orange popsicle. Bucky: Eat and relax for a bit, Sam. Sam: Thanks.

Page 2: Bucky asks Steve: How are things state-side? Steve responds: HORRIBLE. Bucky: I thought you’ve been tentatively hopeful about what Biden has been able to achieve? Steve: I was! Student loans, child care, climate regulations, infrastructure, labor, trans rights … he’s quietly done a lot through regulatory improvements and congress bills. But now all people will talk about is how he’s OLD. And then there’s the Supreme Court’s decisions … Chevron and immunity… Steve puts his head in his hands, while Sam and Bucky look on with some concern.

Page 3: Bucky hands Steve a blue/raspberry popsicle: Steve, take a deep breath, and a popsicle. Sam: Sounds like we missed a lot. What’s going on? How bad is it? Steve: Pretty bad. The Supreme Court has made some decisions that give the Court and the President A LOT of discretionary power. Sam: Yikes, that doesn’t sound good. Steve: Well, the Chevron thing means that judges with life-term appointments can override policies made by government agencies. And now it’ll be harder to hold a President accountable because he will have immunity for any “official” actions.

Page 4: Sam: So if the President tries to, say, overturn a democratic election result, he’ll be allowed to as long as it’s in his job description? Steve: I don’t think threatening state electors is “official” business, but that will be decided by federal judges. Who get their jobs by approval from both the President and the Senate. Bucky: Yeesh. No wonder you’re stressed. Any good news? Steve: Well, thanks the Biden and the razor-thin Senate majority, the newer bills don’t rely on the Chevron deference. Still not great but not catastrophic. Sam, squirting ketchup on his hot dog: So what I’m hearing is that it’s now more important than ever to have a President and a Senate who you can trust to appoint fair judges, pass bills, and not commit crimes.

Page 5: Steve: Plus all of the state level offices, now that more and more deciding power has been thrown back to the states — abortion, LGBTQ rights, voting access… Bucky: Hey, at least this is a big election year so we can actually do something! Steve, with his arms crossed, looking surly: Except that all people want to talk about is how Biden is “too old” and “not doing enough,” as if that is on par with Trump’s desire to dismantle basic rights! As if the candidate who doesn’t embody ALL their ideals is not worth voting for! Bucky interrupts with a smart and a loud “PFFT.”

Page 6: Bucky: Um, Steve. YOU were like that in 1940. Sam, nudging Bucky: “Oh, this I gotta hear. Spill, Barnes.” In sepia, Steve is pacing around their apartment while Bucky is sitting and reading a newspaper. Steve: I can’t believe he’s running for a 3rd term! we need a fresh candidate to vote for! This is hardly a choice at all! AND he refuses to engage in Europe! All of Europe under fascist control and we’re just twiddling our thumbs? He’s letting millions die through his inaction! Bucky: Most people don’t want another war, Steve. If he came out for it, he would lose. Steve, indignant: But Buck, it’s your Polish relative who are in danger! Bucky, closing his newspaper and looking at Steve: Yeah, and between FDR and Willkes, I trust FDR to help if he could.

Page 7: Steve, in sepia, looking away: Should he be encouraged to do more? Maybe I should vote for Browder. The Communists have historically be Anti-Fascist.

Sam interrupts off-screen: Waitaminute! STEVE was going to PROTEST-VOTE? Steve: We were in a Blue State, Sam! Sam: But what about the down ballot races?! Steve: RELAX, I did my due diligence down-ballot. I wanted a senate that’s more progressive than the President.Voted LaGuardia for Mayor, too. Steve hesitates: Then, when I got to the President… I realized that the Best case scenario would be that my vote did nothing, versus if it actually spoiled the election. And when I asked myself who I could trust to work with my Senator… well, FDR had a good record with Labor. (sepia shot of young Steve voting) Bucky interrupts: Hold on, Steve.

Page 8: Bucky, eating a cookie, arching an eyebrow: You didn’t vote for Browder? Why didn’t you tell me? Steve: And have you say “I told you so” for the next century? Bucky: Heh.

Steve, with hand on his chin: What’s weird was that, despite everything, I still felt HORRIBLE when I ticked that box. Sam: Sounds like you built up the meaning of that vote far too much in your head. Logically, we know that a single box can’t represent all of the complexity of a whole system, but the desperately WANT it to. Just look at how people have built up so much around the term “Zionis” that it’s made productive conversations difficult.

Page 9: Sam and Steve speak in the background while Bucky reaches into the cooler and pulls out a box. Steve: Sigh. And that’s something that goes beyond the election. Sam: Which is why we need to vote, AND do other things. Bucky, looking at Steve and Sam: Like how Steve works to push organizations on the local level? Or like all the work you do as Captain America? Sam: Exactly. Vote AND.

Sam looks at Bucky fondly: Like how you vote AND make me and Steve take breaks. Bucky, looking stern because he can’t handle compliments: Shush, Sam.

Bucky holds up a cake that has the number “107” on it: It’s time for cake. Happy Birthday, Steve.

[stars-obsession-pit]

I feel like the potential of different methods of treatment of Jason’s Lazarus Pit side effects in DPxDC fics is often underutilized.

Like, yeah, the crossover brings in more ghostly stuff that could help, but it’s contamination on his literal mind/soul (definitely soul in a DPxDC context, idk about in DC canon) brought on by an unnatural resurrection. At least to me, that feels like it should be significant.

Having Danny just reach in and pull it out or Frostbite treat it in a basic procedure feels almost… cheap?

Like, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it being easy. Stories don’t need to go deeply into the soul healing process; if it’s not meant to be major plot point, it can absolutely be just a quick thing! I’m not trying to insult those stories at all!!

But I feel like there’s a lot of room for more complex or esoteric stuff in there to be explored!

Some ideas for such unique condition things under the readmore:

What if his “revenant” thing some fics use comes into play and the only way to remove it is to fully achieve his revenge? And if that’s the case, what if someone/something else kills the target of the revenge without his influence? Yeah, the person is dead now, he’s technically avenged, but he wasn’t the one to get the revenge. So does it still go away, or is he stuck with it? If he still has it, is it just permanent now or can he just find some other revenge method (ruining their legacy or etc) to break it?

Or oppositely, what if he literally can’t achieve that revenge or his body will die again, its mission complete. Thus, his only way to survive and remove the side effects is to smother all those vengeful urges until they fall silent. Which could make that “someone else kills the target unrelated to him” thing from the previous idea now the good ending - basically guaranteeing his survival since he can’t achieve the vengeance as easily now and can move on. Or maybe it’d be even worse as it forces him to move on regardless, dying randomly when the target of his revenge meets their comeuppance.

What if cycling out the corrupted ectoplasm is a long-term process of meditation (and/or emotional control) - something that takes up significant space in his life and forces him to plan/work around until it’s complete (reduced work hours, avoiding certain situations that might cloud his thoughts, etc)

What if he needs to obtain some sorts of special items/materials (either connected to his own life or more general ghost stuff) for a cleansing ritual, forcing him to go on some sort of quest(s) before he can perform it and recover

What if the tainted spots on his soul can’t be fixed, only excised, leaving other types of consequences for his mind/soul (some that will gradually disappear as the “incisions” heal, others that persist in the scars left behind)

What if the healing process requires him to go over his memories and smooth out the jagged emotional edges left by the Pit, and he isn’t experienced enough with ghostly matters to do on his own, so it forces him to get help from another ghost (and thus bare all his secrets to them)

What if the Pit Rage has to be fully pulled to the front - leaving him completely consumed by its control - before it can be literally fought back and suppressed

What if it can be healed only by taking pieces of healthy ghosts to patch him up - which’d require a lot of smaller ghosts (e.g. blob ghosts) or could potentially only need a couple if he’s willing to harm more intelligent ghosts for it (which Jason likely wouldn’t do, but he’s hardly the only person who’s been revived by the Pits…)

[speakergame]

Progress Update - 3/4/24

Hello and happy March!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 😅 Well, I finally have some good news for you this time: I have some actual news!

I'm happy to be able to announce at last that an update is on its way! I’ve still got some assets to make and code cleanup and testing to finish, but I should finally have something to show you soon.

I’ll put a cut at the end of this and go into more detail about the what and why of what I’ve been working on during this long and unintended hiatus, but the tl;dr is that I hope to have an update out by the end of the month, and that said update will break any saves made in Chapter 4. Unfortunate, but unavoidable, since Chapter 4 had to be recoded from the beginning 😞

I just want to thank all of you once again for sticking with me through my extended silence! Especially to my patrons who’ve put up with me putting everything on pause month after month while I dealt with my real life shit, and to everyone who’s sent me kind and supportive messages to let me know Speaker hasn’t been forgotten. It really means a lot to me.

Okay, enough of that sappy shit! I’m gonna get back to work finishing this up 😁 I’ll put out another update later this month once I have a more definite release date.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you’re having a fantastic 2024 so far, and that the rest of the week treats you kindly. See y’all soon! 💙💙💙

(For those who want a more detailed breakdown on what’s been happening and what to expect, hit the readmore)

I won’t go into the personal life stuff I’ve been dealing with this past year that has slowed down my work, but as far as the actual game goes: 

To put it simply, I just wasn’t happy with it. Some of it could be because of how many times I had to reread the same section while I was coding the scenes that would’ve taken place after the last update, but no matter how much I edited or rearranged it, I didn’t like how that scene turned out. There was something… formulaic that had been happening with the way I always laid out scenes, and a bit of stagnation in the story, character, and relationship development that bothered me.

So I rewrote it. And when I still didn’t like it, I rewrote it again. And I still didn’t like it. I thought about scrapping the whole thing on more than one occasion as I struggled to get out of the corner I’d written myself into.

Inspiration finally struck at the beginning of this year, thanks in part to another interactive novel I follow, and I really like the direction I’ve taken it now. 

Instead of the RO split scenes happening where the last one left off, Speaker, Seer, and Gavin are gonna have a chat about Things™ to move the next story arc forward. Then Speaker will get some downtime, by themself at first and then in an extended scene split with the RO of their choosing. 

All the Big Plot Things that were going to happen in Chapter 4 will be moved to Chapter 5 instead, and 4 will be a bit more of a filler episode. A deep breath before the plunge, as it were.

This split won’t just be a quick conversation/reaction from the RO, but a full on different direction for the rest of the chapter based on who you choose. Most of them will involve leaving the house; all of them will involve actual one-on-one time (or one-on-two time, as the case may be) away from the others. And though romance isn’t required, all of them will have the potential to really move the romance forward if you so choose. One or two might even have a lock-in choice (maybe. I’m not 100 percent on that, so don’t hold me to it) 

These scenes won’t be in the next update, because they’re all very complex, but the update will definitely have the Seer chat and at least some of the by-yourself stuff. The update after will have the rest of the alone time stuff (including the clothes/body CC you’ve all been waiting for), and then the one after will start the RO scenes. I think.

I may actually split the RO scenes into separate updates, and let my darlings over at Patreon vote for the order they’re released. That way I can focus on one at a time instead of trying to split my attention six ways at once.

Okay, that’s enough rambling for me today. Time to get back to work! Still got a lot to get done before this is ready, but it’s so close now.

[requiem-for-a-raisin]

Roger Barel - The Abstinent Beast Devours Love Story Event

*Fan translation for funsies! IP owned by Cybird, translations are my own and may be inaccurate. 18+ MDNI. See About page for more info.*

:readmore:

(How did this happen...?)

As I stared at the large body covering me, I thought back to my recent daily routine.

Recently, Roger has been more devoted than ever to his research. From morning till night: research, research, research, research, research.

Perhaps it was because I had been taking a step back to support him so as not to disturb his concentration, and had been reducing our physical contact in order to suppress my desire to keep my hands on him.

Now, I am being pushed down by him.

He caught both of my hands with one of his hand and held them together above my head.

Roger

"Let's do it."

He said the words without any mood or hesitation.

Neema

"・・・・・ Isn’t this too sudden!?”

Stunned for a moment, I raise my voice. (I was in a normal sleeping mood

earlier.)

Suddenly turned on, Roger took off his glasses.

Roger

"Lately, there has been someone who didn't want to disturb my research and didn't approach me any closer than necessary."

Roger

"However, the way she looks at me is getting more and more intense every day.”

Roger

“I thought I'd give you a break and leave you alone for a change. Hey, Neema?"

Neema

"That's ・・・・・・"

(Roger could see right through me.)

Roger

"But I'm at my limit."

Neema

"Uh-uh."

A rough kiss covered my lips.

A large hand crept through the gap in my clothing and cupped my breast. He used his index and middle fingers to pinch the tip.

Neema

“Ahh ・・・・・・"

A voice escaped from between my lips at the sweet stimulation.

Perhaps because it has been so long, even the slightest pleasure feels so good that I can't stand it.

That seems to be the case with Roger as well.

(It’s somehow hotter than usual...)

Tongues entwined, hands touching, breath leaking out. He seems to have no time to spare as I can see through his barely opened eye lids.

Roger

"You seem to have a lot of time to think."

Neema

"Oh ・・・・・・"

The finger that was fondling the tip of my breast reached between my legs and played with the swollen bud with the tip of its nail.

I tried to close my legs due to the pleasure of the tingling sensation, but I was held back. With both my hands held firm, I had no way to escape and all I could do was gasp.

Neema

"Oh, Roger!"

Roger

"Where did that sleepy look from earlier go?"

He chuckled and buried his big fingers into the place where I was beginning to melt.

(The debauchery has begun.)

Roger

"Ah, this one easily accepts my finger with room to spare.”

Neema

"N-please don't say that, nn ah"

My hips jumped up as the finger inside pressed on my sweet spot. Another finger entered and my body gladly accepted it, squeezing tightly.

Neema

"Oh, ugh, ahh,"

I stirred violently as the lewd sounds echoed through the room. He pleasured precisely where it felt good, and I came in no time.

Roger

“…”

Breathing heavily, Roger applied his own heat.

Neema

"Roger-!"

Something thicker than a finger pushed deep inside me at once, and my body cried with pleasure.

(It's bigger than usual and more painful than usual・・・・・)

He grabbed both of my legs and moved so hard that I could hear the sounds as he collided into me.

Normally he would give me a little grace to get used to it, but there was no time for that and he thrust inside me mercilessly.

I could no longer do anything but cling to him and endure the pleasure.

Neema

"Ah, Roger, stop it,"

With his weight crushing down on me, his heat pushed even further inside.

It's as if I'm being attacked by a large beast, but…

(I'm glad I'm being desired so demandingly.)

I'm messed up with pleasure and joy, and the corners of my eyes are getting hot.

Neema

"Ahhhh"

Again a strong wave of pleasure makes my mind go blank.

Throwing out my limbs, I exhale shallowly in a daze of consciousness.

Neema

"Nnghhhh"

Suddenly something is swallowed and I open my eyes.

Neema

"What ・・・・・・"

Roger

“It's an energy booster I made in between research projects. It's expected to boost your stamina, wake you up, and improve your concentration."

The corner of my mouth twitches as I have a bad feeling about this.

Roger grinned wickedly and tossed the empty vial onto the bed.

Roger

"If I drink this, I can stay up all night and you'll get laid until the morning, won't you?

Roger

"Let’s have some fun, Neema."

Filled with anticipation, I tightened around him sweetly.

[fujoshimenacecw]

A conversation between Moto Hagio, Hideaki Anno, and Shimako Sato

In our first ever translation work we share a riveting conversation between Moto Hagio, Hideaki Anno, and Shimako Sato! Read on our wordpress or keep reading on tumblr under the readmore

For the 189th issue of the Magazine House publication Hato yo! published January 1st 2000, movie director and screenwriter Shimako Sato leads a three way conversation between herself and her acquaintances, the anime and live action movie director Hideaki Anno, and manga artist Moto Hagio. Together they discuss their respective admiration for each other’s work, Anno’s past statements on otaku, their takes on parent-child relations, how to escape puberty, and why Anno finds it scary to be around children. 

To Me, There is 5 Ways To End a Story

Hagio: I got really into Neon Genesis Evangelion after it finished airing (laughter). I had been told by an acquaintance that Eva was a work that had “fans who were looking forward to watching the series so enraged by the developments in the final episode that they broke their TVs” (laughter). I wondered what could a work that evokes such strong emotions be like? I was really interested, so I borrowed the VHS tapes from a friend of Shimako-san’s, then I started watching.

Anno: I’m a big fan of Hagio-san’s manga, so when Shimako-san first said she could introduce us and arrange this meeting I was truly happy. The fact that you took an interest in Eva is an honor but… When I first heard “to me, there are five ways to end a story” I thought “as expected; amazing!” So after several twists and turns I finally reached a conclusion

Sato: Anno-san, when did you first encounter Hagio-san’s work?

Anno: The first one I read was They Were 11! during its serialization. In elementary school I read it at the Ear-Nose-Throat Doctor. I generally read manga at the waiting room there or at the barbers, since I didn’t really get any manga to read at home. When I read They Were 11! back then I was blown away. After that I read Hyaku Oku no Hiru to Senoku no Yoru [trans: Ten Billion Days and One Hundred Billion Nights, original story by Ryu Mitsuse]. My favorite work is Half-god [Hanshin]. The fact that such a meaningful story could be told in only 16 pages is amazing. I think Hagio-san is a genius storyteller, but her art is amazing as well. In middle school I thought that if I copied Hagio-san’s art I’d become better at drawing.

Sato: If you had also imitated her storytelling would that perhaps have changed Eva’s final episode? (laughter)

Saving the world, love and hatred

Anno: You know, I don’t have much interest in concluding a story.

Sato: Do you hate wrapping a furoshiki? [trans note: a traditional wrapping cloth]

Anno: No, it’s that I think you can do more with a furoshiki than tie it up pretty. Like break it or tear it to shreds, all kinds of things.

Sato: If we include all that, isn’t that still doing the act of wrapping?

Hagio: In your case Anno-san, I find your way of grasping the world unique.

Sato: For both Anno-san and Hagio-san, even with the differences between manga and anime you’re making a serialized work, right. When you make a long-form work, is the ending something that is already decided? Or is it something that changes?

Anno: For me it’s something like a live performance, and ends up gradually changing as I create the work.

Hagio: I’m a bit too careful, so I can’t draw if I haven’t thought of the ending. An exception is when I made Star Red. Otherworld Barbara which I made later also ended up becoming an exception 

Anno: Star Red’s ending was magnificent. I was also influenced by Star Red. Actually, I’ve written some dialogue similar to the one in Star Red’s ending 

Sato: Which of the characters do you like?

Anno: Well, the protagonist.

Sato: I like Elg. At first I thought he was a rather unreliable person, but he gradually came to play an active role. By the end he revived a dead planet through love.

Hagio: I also like characters like that!

Sato: When I watch Anno’s works like Eva I feel like you are more the kind of person who saves the world through hatred, what do you think?

Anno: I don’t know 

Hagio: That feeling of uncertainty becomes the foundation of your storytelling doesn’t it? I come to think that that feeling is something so overflowing you can’t tie it all together. 

Sato: It seems you have some differences when it comes to making a story, but I think one thing your stories have in common is perhaps parent-child relations?

Anno: That is true, Hagio-san. Your relationship with your mother appears in your work…

Hagio: When I was a child, my older sister was my mother’s favorite, I was always compared to her. It seemed my mother thought that compared to my sister I was unreliable so she always worried about me, even when I was into my thirties she’d tell me to quit making manga.

Sato: And that was during The Poe Clan’s heyday wasn’t it?

Hagio: (laughter) When I was watching Eva, something that really caught my attention was Shinji-kun worrying about whether or not he was useful to his father. Yet there was a distance between them. During that time I was very interested in, to put it into words, “broken relations.” 

Otaku Are Generally Uncool

Sato: Anno-san, in your work I think father-son relations is something that makes an appearance. Are there any real experiences behind that?

Anno: My family was normal. If I have a complex it would be that we were a poor family rather than a just normal one, and my father has only one leg. Regardless, I think stories about parents are the simplest to make, it’s easy. 

Sato: So since Eva is a parent-child story it ended up like that?

Anno: What makes it easy is that we have some preconceived assumptions about [parent-child relations], “have you argued with your parents?” and such.

Sato: What appears in your work isn’t those things, but your own internalized problems don’t you think.

Anno: That appears to be it. As for my family we truly were the archetypical lower middle class household. My father was a good person. A sensible man. When you’re under circumstances like my father was you have to live sensibly or else you’re excluded.

Sato: So in opposition to that, you became an otaku.

Anno: That might be it. Your most important model for what normalcy is is your family. But I have a younger sister and she is exceedingly normal. She doesn’t read manga, there is nothing twisted about her at all.

Sato: And by twisted you mean?

Anno: That she’s not an otaku.

Sato: Anno-san, you’ve said that you hate otaku, haven’t you.

Anno: It’s not hate. It’s just that I think otaku are uncool. To otherwise not notice that you’re uncool or purposefully suppressing that fact makes me feel disgusted.

Sato: What about The Matrix? Isn’t that a cool otaku movie?

Anno: That one is also uncool.

Hagio: Even though Keanu Reeves is cool.

Anno: Keanu is cool. Because he is not an otaku. The otaku are the Wachowskis. They can’t get out of the confinements of their otaku-ism. So for example, even if they make something cool, part of it will for certain be otaku-like Even though I say this I don’t hate it. If I truly did I’d quit being an otaku.

Sato: Hagio-san, would you say your family was normal or was it perhaps affluent?

Joh (Hagio’s manager): Hagio-san and her mother actually have a similar biorhythm. It was perhaps due to that fact that Hagio rebelled by pursuing the path of becoming a manga artist. 

Hagio: I might have been running away by drawing. But, if I had rebelled by becoming a delinquent I think it perhaps might’ve been more enriching to me as a person.

Anno: To become a creator is not something I think is a happy path to go down. In order to not be unhappy you have to work for dear life. At the very least create works as if you’re going back to zero [from the negatives].

Hagio: Is it a negative? Because you are an otaku?

Anno: Being an otaku is a huge negative. You make up for it either by relying on others or by producing creative works. With that said, I think my generation has it easier than yours, Hagio-san. This is an era where even old men read manga. My parents even now have no issues with my line of work. I appear in Asahi Shimbun, I appear on NHK, they have nothing to worry about. That is also why I will try not to ever refuse any coverage from my hometown newspapers.

Hagio: But don’t you think parents don’t truly understand? Even if I become famous, my parents will say; can’t you quit drawing manga? And just appear in the newspaper? (laughter)

Sato: But if you quit drawing manga you won’t appear in the newspaper. (laughter)

Hagio: In that context, a part of me still expects too much affirmation from my parents. Not externally but internally. Even if I appear in Asahi Shimbun I still end up thinking it’s not good enough.

Sato: The fact that you still worry so much about what your parents think at your age Hagio-san, it’s so strange.

Hagio: Yes, I think so too

Anno: Could it be that you have to become a parent to change that part of you that worries so much about what your parents think?

Sato: I don’t worry at all about what my parents think.

Anno: I also don’t care even a little bit. As far as I’m concerned, I’m bored if I get my parents’ approval. When I did Nadia: The Secret Of Blue Water for NHK I felt that feeling.

Sato: Do you have a replacement parent figure?

Anno: Well, a man without imaginary enemies is no good. For me right now, I think I want to make works that have Hayao Miyazaki beat.

Sato: Hagio-san, your worries might also be what gives birth to your works.

Hagio: That might be the case.

Sato: Anno-san, earlier, you said “you have to become a parent to change.” I personally don’t think if you don’t have children you can’t become an adult. I think that being an adult is being independent in everything you do. That’s why I think marriage or having children doesn’t change anything.

Anno: You can become a parent without being an adult. At 17 or 18 you could become a parent. To become a parent without even being an adult, that is the problem I think. 

Sato: Do you consider yourself to be an adult, Anno-san?

Anno: I guess I’m a child. 

Sato: I don’t consider my parents to be adults.

Hagio: I’m very discontent with the fact that my parents aren’t adults.

Anno: I’m not discontent.

Sato: For me realizing that my parents aren’t absolute adults was a relief during my middle school years. Until then I had played the role of an exemplary student, but when I realized that fact I stopped playing that role. 

Hagio: So you’re a child who didn’t fit into your parents’ expectations. I was also a child who didn’t fit into my parents’ expectations, but the fact that they didn’t shrug their shoulders and say “that’s fine,” filled me with anxiety. I thought that if I become an adult I’d lose that anxiety. But I want recognition from people. I continue to request affirmation. 

Sato: Anno-san, in Eva you portrayed children like this, but are you like this yourself?

Anno: The affirmation? Hmmm. That kind of thing changes with the project.

Hagio & Sato: ?

Anno: I don’t believe in the supremacy of the director of a work, but rather the work itself. What would be best for the work, I only base my judgment on the total. Although I won’t hand over the executive decisions.

Hagio: Manga is a one-man job, but with a movie there’s the director, the scriptwriter, the actors, etc. Each of them sees themselves as a leading part. Furthermore as living beings the things we do will sometimes diverge from the plan we made in our heads. The fun of living is discovering what those differences will be.

Is Eva The Rite of Passage That Will Get Us Through Puberty?

Sato: The movie Love & Pop that you directed Anno-san, the original creator Ryuu Murakami-san and yourself are both men, yet the story is about high school girls. I found that interesting.

Hagio: I thought that both of you wanted to be very similar to an archetypical girl. You said you wanted to see a part of puberty, and girlhood that you couldn’t control. After all, men aren’t just made up of boys. I believe that femininity and masculinity is something we have combined within us. Sort of androgynous.

Sato: The boys you create not having that vivid true-to-life quality to them I think is a representation of that. Anno-san, as a man, what do you think of the boys in Hagio-san’s manga? 

Anno: I could see myself in them. I think what I like the most is that all the characters are smart. Because they have such a high intelligence it feels good to read.

Hagio: Like a washing machine right at the peak of its cycle, I want to leave my characters on the verge of that kind of critical point [of merger]. To be honest, the idea that once you’re past 30 you’ve become an old lady, that sense is something we’ve left behind.

Sato: I’ve found that when men become old they lose their ability to be nihilistic in their work, is it the same as that?

Anno: In the case of men, as you age, the world view [of your fiction] rather than your characters come to reflect your nihilism. You don’t aspire to be nihilistic, you yourself are becoming nihilistic. Your world view is what gradually utilizes nihilism. Isao Takahata, for example, is a nihilistic person. Nothing is born from being nihilistic. As nihilism is Plus-Minus-Zero, eventually your heart can’t be moved.

Hagio: A world that doesn’t change, isn’t that comfortable? 

Sato: Even though in order to grow you have to fight. By asking like this, Anno-san, did you not experience puberty?

Anno: That might be it.

Hagio: I thought you were right in the middle of puberty.

Anno: I thought I’m losing it, but it might be puberty. Generally speaking, otaku don’t go through puberty.

Hagio: I thought otaku went through a prolonged chronic puberty.

Anno: It’s not what society ordinarily calls puberty.

Hagio: A never ending puberty, in this age, could it perhaps be because there are no more rites of passage? 

Anno: Sure enough, you have to bungee jump. (laughter)

Hagio: A ritual to let your childhood die and then replay it, such a thing doesn’t exist now. Taking entrance exams may be the closest to [a rite of passage].

Sato: Don’t you feel like lately that around age 30 is when the coming of age ceremony actually happens?

Hagio: For that part, that’s when the stories takes on that role I think.

Sato: As a ritual?

Hagio: It’s not a ritual, but perhaps more intuitive? A trial run on a mock life. By that definition, I noticed Eva is just like that. I had an acquaintance who is a teacher from the Kyoto Steiner school. They saw the Eva movie in theaters. At that time they found the reactions of the people watching to be more interesting than the story. They had thought, isn’t it like we’ve all come to see the rite of passage which we all failed? I thought so as well “that’s right, that is interesting.” The rite of passage to become an adult after entering puberty, be it Gundam or Eva those stories put people in a position where they are observing the world, observing themselves, experiencing war and such.

Sato: Anno-san, were you considering all this…

Anno: I didn’t make it like that. But when I was making the movie I was thinking of this a little. 

Hagio: When I watched Eva it ended up overlapping with the book Childhood [by Jan Myrdal]. It’s a book about a mother who can’t love her child. She thinks “I have to take care of this child”, but even so she can’t love him. I wonder what happens to children raised like this. Children learn from their parents. In truth there will be consequences for the parent, but the question on my mind was children who can’t find their place with the parent, where can they find their place instead? Although I thought you were such a person when you were making Eva, Anno-san. (laughter) 

Sato: Speaking of, the other day you were on a TV show teaching grade schoolers about anime, Anno-san. What do you think of children?

Anno: I was scared of being in contact with children. I don’t understand the appropriate distance to take. I believe even the most casual thing an adult says mustn’t traumatize them, I end up becoming oversensitive. In grade school during still drawing class, I’d draw roof tiles and other detailed things, but humans moved around and I found it annoying, so I never drew people. Because of that my teacher said “this isn’t a child’s drawing,” which deeply hurt me. In the end, from that experience I think it was a part of the reason why I decided on working with drawing. Even though I opposed standardized education, I really felt the difficulty of dealing with not having a basic manual.

By the way, how much longer until Zankoku na Kami ga Shihai Suru [trans: A Cruel God Reigns] ends? I made a mistake. I wanted to read it all at once, right, so I refrained from buying it but… when volume 6 came out I ended up buying all of them. 

Hagio: Oh yes, right. July next year I think. 

Anno: Understood. Then the final collected volume will be out in the fall of next year. Hmm well that means I can enjoy it for another year. Understood. 

Sato: Isn’t that great.

------------------------------

Translated by mod Juli, with assistance from two financially compensated native speakers.

Since the initial upload of this translation minor edits have been done to correct grammar and spelling mistakes. On March 1st 2025 an edit has been made on the following line:  Anno: I think they have empathy. I think what I like the most is that all the characters are smart. Because they have such a high intelligence it feels good to read. It now says: Anno: I could see myself in them. I think what I like the most is that all the characters are smart. Because they have such a high intelligence it feels good to read.

A scan of the full interview raws has now been added to the wordpress version!

[jude457]

so the main reason why i’ve been sitting on a bunch of fics lately—stuff i haven’t posted, even though it’s finished—because i keep getting stuck on this one question:

how much medical detail is too much in a fic?

like, is it too much to show what a body goes through after prolonged sexual trauma? concerning the fics where i explore a darker side of inho’s relationship with the vips. i don’t write this stuff to be shocking. it’s not about being graphic or edgy—it just feels unrealistic and unfinished to me to leave it out. examples of what i’ve included are underneath the readmore:

if i’m writing inho truthfully he’d have chronic, complicated UTIs—pain when he urinates, burning, pressure that never fully goes away, constant urgency without relief. because when you’re used repeatedly for years, when you’re used by multiple men with no care or protection, your body breaks down. infections become constant. systems stop working the way they should. the tearing wouldn’t have healed properly. there’d be scar tissue, nerve pain that burns down his spine and into his hips, days when his whole pelvis feels locked up with the trauma of what has been done to him. a deep, raw ache that flares when he moves wrong, when he sits too long, when he’s cold or stressed or simply remembering. (what i believe most people would find too realistic for a fic) is how going to the bathroom after the body is traumatised like this would be painful in some way. not sometimes—always. the unhealthy relationship with food that would stem from that. it would change how he eats. he’d learn quickly which foods pass more easily, which ones leave him shaking in agony so badly he bites the inside of his cheek to stay silent. how over time, eating becomes something he fears. not because he isn’t hungry, but because he knows what comes next. he builds a mental list of what’s “safe” and sticks to it obsessively.

including these symptoms adds a deeper layer of in-ho’s self-hatred and destruction too. because it’s not just that he’s in constant pain—it’s that he won’t let anyone see it. he carries the infections, the nerve damage, the tearing, the nights spent hunched in silence with his pelvis on fire. sometimes he bleeds. so he hides his laundry—washes it alone, scrubbing stains out by hand before anyone notices. it’s become a ritual. a quiet way of keeping the worst of it hidden. because even the blood feels like evidence. and he can’t let that exist in anyone else’s hands. not when it all leads back to the same thing. not just because it hurts, but because it’s tied to his greatest shame. what the vips did to him. what he endured to stay alive

he’d never let gihun or junho know. he thinks if they find out, they’ll see what he sees: someone broken. someone used. someone dirty. so he hides it. he always hides it. until one day his body gives out and there’s no more room to pretend.

to be honest i also find it important to explore the way inho struggles to even see himself as a rape victim. he spent close to two decades as a detective before being dismissed, dealing with these kinds of cases—he knows the language, the legal classifications, the evidence kits, the expected responses. and somewhere along the way, whether he meant to or not, he built a picture in his head of what a victim looks like: vulnerable, broken, not him because inho still views himself as a monster. and now he’s on the other side of it, but the image won’t shift. he can’t reconcile the man he’s become with the reality of what was done to him. it doesn’t match. it doesn’t fit. and that disconnect—the inability to grant himself the same compassion he offered others—is almost more painful than the trauma itself. because naming it would mean accepting it. and accepting it would mean facing the full weight of what was taken from him.

[saras-almanac]

So I wrote this post the other day about my feelings on the handling of the BuckTommy breakup (which you can read here if you want). And @parrishjeanna reblogged with a link to an article from Tim. I wrote out a reply to it but it became so long I needed to put it in a separate post because it’s over 3k and I need to put it until a readmore.

Okay so I did read that article thank you @kawaiifacesong for linking the not generating revenue clicks because I don’t like reading any articles for 9-1-1 because it’s literally all buddies who can’t ask anything about the show. (Case in point, in this particular interview, the interviewer brings up “The Couch Theory” because Buck and Eddie sit on a couch.)

So this interview was trash for many reasons but I’ll narrow it down to three for the sake of this response: Biphobic nature of the breakup and aftermath, what’s being said in interviews isn’t what we’re seeing, and Tim writes as he goes so there’s no actual plan going forward.

First: The Biphobic Nature of this breakup is still moving full swing.

The idea that Buck is “still figuring himself out” and needs to explore is insulting in so many ways—especially to myself as a bisexual lady in my 30s. Firstly, being in my 30s, the idea that you need to figure yourself out still is absolute bullshit. Yes, you can still find new things out about yourself and make some changes, but usually by this point in your life, you have a pretty decent handle on who you are as a person. Which Buck does have… and we’ve seen that? So it has to be a reference to his newly discovered and realized sexuality.

Which, AGAIN is so biphobic and plays into incredibly harmful bisexual stereotypes that bisexuals need to “explore” to figure out what or who they want. This means either they need to fuck around and make sure they’re really bisexual. OR they need to get enough experience with their same gender to then be able to have a same-gendered relationship. Both of which are insulting and harmful. This idea that Tommy couldn’t possibly be a lasting relationship because Buck just came out as bisexual is wrong. It’s fine if they didn’t want Tommy to be a long-term love interest or even an end-game love interest, but why couldn’t they have done it differently, to hopefully not play into these harmful stereotypes that are still incredibly prevalent today.

Now do I think they fully intended it to play out as biphobic as it is? Not really, but I do think that the heart of what they wanted—Buck exploring his sexuality—is inherently biphobic because of the way they have chosen to go about it. There’s a world of difference between having Tommy break up with Buck so Buck can go exploring and having OS and TM saying similar things in interviews and Tommy and Buck breaking up and Buck getting back out there and dating around. Which if they had given it just a smidge of thought, I have to hope they would have come to that same conclusion and maybe gone about it in a different way.

Second: What Tim’s saying in interviews about what’s happening on the show and in these storylines doesn’t match up to what we’re seeing

I’m going to paste the few paragraphs related to BuckTommy break up here, just to read. I have bolded what I thought was important and what I’m going to talk about after it.

“Look, I think the breakup was premature, but that was by design. For me, the story that I was trying to tell was here’s a guy, Tommy. He’s not a main character on the show. We haven’t done ‘Tommy Begins’ or something. But you do see him in the ‘Begins’ episodes, in flashbacks, and by the time he leaves in ‘Bobby Begins Again,’ he’s turned over a new leaf. He’s feeling more comfortable. He’s hanging out with the new people at the 118 once Bobby takes over, and they throw him a party and bake him a cake when he goes off to his new post. There was even a reference in Broken when Chimney calls him to do the water drop,” Minear explained. “But Tommy’s a guy who’s in a different place in his life than Buck is. And I think what Tommy realizes is exactly what he said, which is, ‘I’m not your last. I’m your first.'” Minear referenced the coffee shop scene in Season 7, where Buck asked Tommy to give them another shot and come to his sister’s wedding, as a point when Tommy thought, “Alright, this guy’s kind of great. He’s super hot and he’s sweet. And this will be nice. And I’m going to be vulnerable for this.” As the relationship grew stronger and the stakes grew higher, however, Tommy reevaluated things. “I think Tommy, in the end, understood that this was not forever — that Buck is exploring himself. He’s still figuring himself out. And even if Tommy doesn’t know it, he might sense the fact that Buck likes to jump in with both feet a little bit precipitously,” Minear mused. “So was the breakup premature? Yes. Because Tommy was put in a position where he had to be honest. And once he speaks the truth, which is, ‘I think I know where this ends, and I can’t move in with you,’ he’s kind of breaking the spell — the spell of that honeymoon. Tommy even says, ‘I didn’t see this coming either.’ I don’t think either one of them did.”

Okay, lots of things happening in this quote but ultimately there’s a massive disconnect in what TM thinks is happening or what he’s saying is happening and what is actually on screen—and that’s a huge problem. You can’t rely on interviews to explain things, it needs to be in the actual text of the episode.

I think the real crux of the issue is this: “Tommy’s a guy who’s in a different place in his life than Buck is… Tommy, in the end, understood that this was not forever… he’s kind of breaking the spell—the spell of that honeymoon.”

Let’s break this down a bit. Tommy being in a different place in his life than Buck… How? Buck has, since the pilot episode, been looking and searching for a stable romantic relationship—he’s always craved that and wanted that. Even in the breakup, he was thinking about their future and marriage and moving in with Tommy. Is that not what the next logical step of a relationship might be? So doesn’t that—regardless of whether it was premature or not—prove that Buck and Tommy are in the same place of clearly wanting a long-term, committed relationship? So if this wasn’t the case, why didn’t you show that? Show them having that disconnect or make it clear that Tommy’s dropping hints about their future and Buck is not in the same place so he’s not picking up on them at all. Because what we saw was Buck wanting and seeing a future with Tommy and Tommy basically telling him that the doesn’t actually.  

“Tommy, in the end, understood that this was not forever — that Buck is exploring himself. He’s still figuring himself out.” This is my villain origin point—for real. Because this is also not what we saw! What we saw, was a Buck who was so secure in himself and his relationship, arguably for the first time on this show, that he didn’t panic or second-guess anything really. He was all-in with Tommy and enjoying himself and being with Tommy. He even said that being with Tommy makes him more comfortable with himself—aka what a lot of couples say when they’re in committed and reciprocal, healthy romantic relationships—that being with you makes me happy being me. (Paraphrasing here, but hopefully my point gets across.)

Because what is there for Buck to figure out yet? He knows he’s bisexual and incredibly into Tommy. He’s happy and content with his work life and seems pretty happy with where he’s living. His relationships with his friends and family are all as good as they usually are. So what is there for Buck to still figure out? I’m left to assume that this is again only about his sexuality, which just keeps adding more to the pile of shit that makes me feel crappy and uncomfortable with this storyline.

Also, why couldn’t Buck and Tommy last? Why is that assumed to be the correct conclusion to come to? How many high school sweethearts get together and last? How many people who don’t date until they’re in their 20s-30s find someone right away and stay together? How many people come out as queer later in life because they have found someone they click with and it just makes them see more of themselves and they stay together? Sure, this is not the case with every single person in these situations, but it’s not unheard of. To me, this just feels like the show and Tim are acting like Buck is a young, 20-year-old child and now a grown man in his 30s…

What we actually saw on our screens, was two people who genuinely seemed to enjoy each other and spending time together. That had an easy and sweet relationship, where they both felt settled and comfortable together. It’s why the weird change in 806 felt so abrupt—what do you mean these two people who had amazing communication up until that point, have not talked about their past relationships at all? I think that was done as a shortcut for the writers and TM to say, “Look, see, they’re not compatible, they can’t last because they’re not talking about anything serious.” But again, my point is: then you should have showed us that beforehand, given some foreshadow or lead up to it. Instead, they chose to blindside the audience for the “shock value” and it didn’t work. Shock value for shock value’s sake never works for the audience. They don’t want the rug to be pulled out from under them, they want to see you building something and only after it’s built can they see what you were doing the whole time.

Now, I understand that they just wanted to break them up for “story” reasons (which I have no faith is going to be anything good). While I personally hate that because I feel like there would have been much more storylines and things for Buck to be involved in and it would have opened up a lot more potential stories for the future, I get that it’s not my decision to make. But why couldn’t they actually make this make sense in the actual context of what we’d seen already? If you wanted to break them up because they’re in different places, then having Buck ask Tommy to move in could have caused more of an argument of Tommy saying that Buck doesn’t really see him and doesn’t seem to understand that Tommy has a whole life outside of Buck. O Tommy could have been the one to propose moving in together and Buck freaks out because it’s too soon—which leaves Tommy to come to the conclusion that they want different things right now and he can’t just sit around and hoping Buck will catch up because it would be too hard for him to let go of Buck later. Or have Tommy literally going to a different place—whether temporarily or permanently—and so they have to break up because Buck has a whole life here and Tommy wasn’t about to ask Buck to uproot himself for Tommy…

There’s so many other ways this breakup could have gone instead of the route they went—and they would have made much more sense contextually. Instead, they went this cheapest way possible and have Buck now acting like a child about calling Tommy, when in reality and with the growth we’d seen of Buck in the past 8 years, he would have reached out to Tommy already. At least to talk things through. The baking thing was cute for an episode and it would have been okay for longer, but I’m just sitting here wondering exactly why Buck can’t call Tommy… If it’s because he’s hurt, then they needed to say that because right now, it just seems like Buck is literally being forced to not call him but the audience isn’t really sure why.

All this brings me to my biggest point. Third: I don’t trust anything that’s being said in interviews or by TM because he doesn’t write in advance and that’s a major problem

Before we get into it let me make a disclaimer: I’m gonna need every single network and studio to start requiring all the white men who write for them to actually be getting them scripts. We cannot rely on their “genius” to make sense because these scripts—especially season 8—should have had a few more passes before what we’ve seen. The only episode so far that actually felt like a complete episode was the Halloween episode.

And if this season has taught us anything, it’s that Tim not having any real plans or anything written is actually a massive problem for this show.

Now me not believing TM is not me saying that I 100% believe Tommy is coming back (though I feel like the chances are higher now with the reaction from the GA for ABC to suggest some things or at least give a closure beat to this character and relationship) This is more, nothing that TM has said in interviews up until this point for season 8 has really actually happened on screen except for Eddie shaving his moustache… Granted, I don’t read every single article with him so I might have missed something, but I just feel like he’s got no interest in setting anything up and actually paying it off in any real way.

So many people were so excited for season 8 because it was the first season in years where we actually knew so many storylines going into 8—that weren’t told to us in interviews; they were introduced in the actual show! We had Bobby/Athena’s house hunting, HenRen fighting Ortiz and trying to get Mara back, Madney fostering Mara in HenRen’s place, Eddie dealing with Christopher leaving, and Gerrard back at the 118. Any one of those storylines would have been so amazing to really see explored and fleshed out. Instead, everything was basically settled and done by episode 4—apart from Christopher and Eddie resolution and Bobby/Athena actually moving in / building. To me, as a writer myself, that decision to rush though those other stories was a massive massive misstep. There was so much there to explore and delve into that could have been so satisfying to watch and really reap the emotional payoff.

Instead, we had like 2-4 minutes max of processing HenRen not being able to see Mara again before they were all reunited. Not that I wanted to see HenRen struggling again in this way, but it would have been different and they could have put some humor into it with Karen suggesting they tail Ortiz and try to find things out about her—or Hen comes back from a shift to find Karen has stayed up for 38 hours tracking every single facebook post from Ortiz and her family to try and find something they could use and she’s the one who uncovered the link between Ortiz and Gerrard, which then promts Hen to ask Buck as Gerrard’s specialist boy to ask for a favor or try to convince Gerrard to help them deal with Ortiz.

And Maddie and Chimney having Mara would have been so interesting to see them actually having conversations about what they want for their family going forward—do they want more kids, do they not? Are they wanting to try naturally or adoption? And then Mara being with Chimeny could have also added another layer of tension between Hen and Chimney with Hen being jealous that Chimney is raising her daughter.

I mean Eddie… the fact that it took 8 episodes (basically) for him to actually acknowledge that he needs to do something to be a part of his son’s life is a major problem as well. It makes me not want to root for Eddie to reconcile with Chris because he has shown hardly any initiative in actually confronting what he did and the actual reason why Chris is so upset and feels betrayed. There was a little in 6, but that’s sort of it.

Bobby and Athena, they just don’t seem to know what to do with them anymore. And that’s a shame because there are so many things they could do—namely my favorite thing which is give them more comedy to do! They are so funny together (cruise ship is one of my favorite things). Or they could have had the first few episodes be them sort of couch surfing through the firefam and be a fun little runner of “we really need to figure out what we’re doing.” Even their storyline of their house burning just doesn’t seem to be a thing anymore.

Buck, it would have been so amazing to see him dealing with the work stuff more and having Tommy to lean on, to see Buck who’s been pretty secure in his work for the past few seasons now dealing with Bobby being gone and Gerrard there, just really gets him thinking about the future. Or even the comment about budget cuts, why was that never brought up again? That would have been so interesting to lead up to the midseason finale, which of the 118 is going to get laid off? And Buck being in such a secure spot maybe he volunteers because he wants to explore something outside of firefighting and/or because everyone else has kids and a family and he knows it’s easier for him to not have a job? And then he’s saying his goodbyes and the midseason act out is Bobby announcing that Eddie is going to be leaving them instead.

Instead of really exploring any of that, it’s all been rushed through to move on to the next thing, but the honest truth is: I don’t trust what TM’s great next thing is because he absolutely squandered all the potential he had going into season 8. So all these “amazing things” he has going forward I just don’t trust they’re going to happen or even be slightly interesting. Instead, I assume they’re going to be something that’s like an episode opening and then never mentioned again if they do happen.

I just don’t understand what is going on in his head other than ego right now and I’m just… I deal with too many egos in my life to deal with another one like this.

[raiseupyourbat]

G o d. All gekkos' outertale posting makes me wanna talk more in depth about the characterisation and plot issues in this game and why they bother me...

(readmore bc holy fuck this got long, it's probably like 5k words. It's also pretty much all salt, categorised by character)

Toriel

Why. Why is she like this. Kinda feels like the creator of the game hates her and if they don't, they have a weird way of showing it. She's treated as overdramatic and unjustified in her anger at asgore despite the fact that he DID declare war on humanity and he DID willingly let the people believe he was killing human children to harvest their souls. Even if he didn't do it for real in this game, she has every right to be angry and to not trust him, and it CERTAINLY doesn't make her undeserving to be a mother or whatever. Idk about you, but I don't think wanting kids to stay away from a man yelling about wanting to kill every child that crosses him makes you a bad parent, even if it turns out he didn't really hurt anyone y'know?

They also REALLY zoned in on 'mother' with her in a way that doesn't really make sense here. I could maybe see her feeling guilty for making a snap judgement but how would that call her motherhood into question?

Sans saying isolation messed with her makes no sense too!!!! The outerlands or whatever they called the ruins isn't sealed off in this game, other monsters seem way less intimidated by her in this game than in undertale (she has friends! She knows sans by name and goes to napstablook's shows and even has their phone number!), and we outright get told she takes the taxi to get her groceries... Meaning she headed off to the rest of the outpost and probably does that often enough.

All things considered, Toriel seems fairly well adjusted in outertale, at least by outertale standards. Kinda then makes it feel like everyone's just trying to convince her she's hysterical and that... Sucks.

Also the fact that they added an ending where you stay with her and framed it as a bad ending that doomed everyone is... Really mean? It sucked ass I'm sorry :/

Sans

... Why is he like this. This take on Sans is absolutely infuriating tbh. The only positive I really have here is that his puns are kinda good, I've seen fangames that fuck up this element massively and it was kinda fun to see his interactions in starton.

Okay, back to salt. His whole 'i became a sentry to help humans' thing is trash. He didn't care about that in ut! He didn't care about that at all! The only reason he looks out for frisk is because he made a promise to toriel, and he hates breaking promises. He didn't want to let down his friend.

...Huh. realising this is yet another case of Toriel disrespect somehow. Yet another thing they took from her, that they then just... Handed over to sans instead. :/

His lack of backstory. Look, I get wanting something silly, but they took almost everything that makes sans interesting away. Not hyperfocusing on sans like certain aus do is nice, but it feels like in a lot of situations in this game they overcompensated by a long shot.

No mysterious past/origins. We know he worked with alphys I guess but???? Honestly I have a LOT to rant about for that part so I'll leave it for twinkly's section. And yet despite all this, Sans inexplicably bleeds in tpe when not even undertale has that happen? Make up your mind!

His role in non Asriel chaotic also... Sucks ass. I'm in a pretty awesome corner of the fandom in terms of the people I follow and the takes I see as a result, so if I'm honest, when I saw all those posts about 2024 fanon sans being indifferent to his brother's murder, I kinda just figured they were vaguing about this game. You're telling me that sans of all people just shrugs off you killing everyone and complains a little bit before letting you pass?! He should know alphys already ran off. He should know the only person left to stop you is asgore, and that it's obvious he won't. Part of this could be connected to how frisk is written perhaps, and much like the twinkly situation, I'll have much more to say on that further down.

I understand the creator didn't wanna have a sans fight in their game - however, if that's the case... Maybe come up with a reason for him to NOT show up in the last corridor, then? Have him busy helping with evacuations or something, or already dead like in the first chaotic ending... This was just sloppy.

Papyrus

Honestly he wasn't... Terrible. The phonecalls were fun even if most were cheap references (though they can be fun in fangames sometimes so I'm not mad at this lol). Him being extremely talented at making spaghetti is just one symptom of one of this game's biggest flaws, however. I really don't like how nobody's really allowed to be bad at anything or have any real struggles in this game - especially when spaghetti in undertale is used to demonstrate his relationship with undyne and the similar wavelength they're on when humans aren't involved. She's the one who started teaching him to cook it, it's deeply intertwined with his desire to be a royal guard, and it's something they suck at together. Him just inexplicably being good at it is... Weird, and feels really disconnected from their friendship and her reluctance to let him in the guard yknow?

Also: his boss final phase. Having the dog NOT take his special attack away this time was really funny admittedly but... Idk? Not only is the fight really unfair for pacifist/neutral and those who aren't as good at the game (ut never gets this hard outside of geno), it feels way too on the nose in terms of insisting he's strong and has powerful attacks. Undertale didn't need to overcompensate to get across that papyrus is strong and disciplined and the way you have to infer that in undertale is way cooler. I might just be nitpicking with this point tbh but it's whatever. Letting myself be a hater for once.

And don't get me started on him getting together with Mettaton. It seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere, the idea that they were already friends in this was glossed over really quickly and no time was really put into developing the relationship save for papyrus commenting on finding him attractive every few minutes.

Gotta be honest, I've never been a fan of this ship nor understood its popularity. Papyrus very briefly mentions thinking he's attractive in undertale, but it doesn't really go anywhere and I'm not even sure mettaton knows he exists. It feels like it was just kinda added because it's a popular ship and that's it, not sure it really contributes much to either of their arcs. It was a light-hearted celebrity crush in canon and never really tried to be more.

Oh, oops. Had more to say here than I thought.

Undyne

Not much to say here... I think she was okay, there's nothing super bad with her. I do think the way gerson kinda downplays her/lacks faith in her in the chaotic route kinda sucks and I think choosing to make her non-undying chaotic bossfight harder sure was A Choice, but it's whatever. Undying was weirdly easy in a way that didn't do her much justice. Honestly they didn't do enough with her for me to have a wall of complaints and I can't tell if that's a good thing or not. Her relationship with alphys didn't really amount to much and her lack of understanding of human culture doesn't really hit as hard when she's just talking about random sci-fi things that we have no way of knowing are real or not in this game's idea of the 2600s ourselves, y'know? Her love of anime (that she mistakenly thinks is human history) is pretty absent here except to validate her relationship with alphys in a very shallow way.

The Ghost Family

Hoo boy... Was gonna make this the mettaton section, but I wanted to talk about napstablook at the same time, so I'm just gonna lump them all together.

What. What the hell was this plotline.

It feels like they tried to go for 'smalltime farmer chases passion for stardom after feeling unfulfilled at home' and as I've seen someone else say, 'shy business owner struggles to talk to their cousin outside of work'. This would've been fine tbh, but... There's a lot of things in the execution of this that kinda grossed me out if I'm honest. I don't think they were intentional, but I think it could've been thought through a lot better to avoid some unfortunate implications - or even lean into them in a respectful way.

Firstly, the ghost family intervention was pretty long, awkward, and didn't feel like it really added much - especially when most people playing would already know mettaton's backstory anyway (and his house is still accessible like in undertale!!!!! What was the point?)

Mettaton airing out his family issues on live TV feels very ooc - he keeps that stuff very close to his chest and I doubt he'd like it getting out. Him entertaining any of that out in the open seems... Weird.

Speaking of the intervention, his cousins' treatment of him was horrifying! Part of it seems intentional and it's nice that there's at least one part in the game where characters are allowed to have flaws and do bad things but... There's also elements that feel like you're meant to agree with them? Their insistence that mettaton just come home and everything they did in the past with constantly badgering him to come and help out on the farm were rightfully treated as something that hurt mettaton's feelings and that gave napstablook and the others pause. That's (mostly, we'll come back to it later) fine. He called them out for it and they reflected on it, cool. The way his ghost form was utilised makes me extremely uncomfortable, however.

Napstablook talks about hearing 'the real [mettaton]' in the recording, right to his face, 'the real mettaton' in this scenario alluding to his ghost form. Considering mettaton is a trans allegory, this feels... Kinda gross? In a similar vein, when passing mettaton's quiz barriers, one of the questions is 'what is mettaton's true identity' and you have the option to deadname him (using a name papyrus literally just made up in undertale rather than having any kind of creativity ofc) Alphys' reaction is simply to ask how you know that which... Doesn't feel great. The correct answer is 'mettaton' ofc thankfully, but everything around this particular plot point feels weird. Maybe don't do that w the most prevalent trans allegory character..?

And ofc, they keep insisting he just come home, go back to working on the farm, go back to his family... Idk, gives me vibes of someone abandoning their shitty transphobic family and then insisting they want to see 'the real [deadname] again' and for them to abandon their new life and just go back to the way things were before. Not good.

All of this would still be okay for the most part since the ghost family are painted as being unfair to mettaton... But in true pacifist, he goes back to helping out with the farm anyway and talks about how he thinks he was probably just being dramatic after all, and how 'blooky didn't do anything that bad'

... What?

It takes me right back to Toriel's treatment. Napstablook, Maddie and lurksalot gave no real thought to mettaton's feelings, made it all about them and showed pretty much no support for his transition nor his career! Fuck those guys! It's funny - mettaton is pretty consistently a pompous asshole (affectionate) in undertale but here, I think all his feelings towards his family were COMPLETELY valid. Mettaton outertale didn't do anything wrong.

Lurksalot didn't feel like they contributed much to the story either, save to be yet another character treating mettaton like shit with zero consequences nor narrative judgement. They just made every ghost family event even more drawn out.

And then ofc!!!! Mettaton and Alphys' friendship is so bland in this game! They're two people who kinda know each other and she says some nice things about him in a letter in chaotic but that's about it. Their friendship and the subsequent conflict frisk's arrival brings to it in undertale is the heart of hotland and the core, but here it's just replaced with unnecessary, hard to watch, boring family drama. The two of them have no issues to work out. She doesn't ask too much of him. There's no funny quips and barely any chemistry at all. God forbid either of them have any real flaws.

One last thing: I'm glad maddie gets her mew mew body, it's nice. Wish it was an on-screen moment or something alluded to more though. Some of that time dragging out the family drama could've been used on that instead, y'know? Especially with napstablook getting the mew mew doll... Genuinely thought they were gonna show it to her when they first got hold of it, rather than dragging Frisk into their intervention. She should've gotten to be more mad, too. Kinda a big part of her identity.

Oh, and mettaton's no-asriel chaotic fight was bullshit. It was a nice spamton reference and the first phase was cool, but the second was utter bullshit and dragged out the fight way too long. Attacking him after snapping all the wires should've killed him im sorry. It's even more of a shame bc I genuinely really liked this game's mettaton neo fight - it was fun and creative and felt possible.

Holding myself back from adding any more to this bc I could go on and on, ugh.

Alphys

Alphys. For a game that tries to make her the star of it, it's actually kinda impressive how much they managed to take away from her and just how uninteresting she is in this game.

At the surface level she's awesome, powerful, and the star of the show. In my first playthrough I was actually pretty happy to see her thriving like this! The more routes I played and the more I thought about it though they just kinda... Declawed her. Took away all her flaws. Made her 'perfect' in a way that I don't think works at all.

The amalgamates never happened. None of her experiments went wrong. She never hid away from her mistakes, or lied to anyone (save for keeping Asgore's secret, which she has no negative feelings about), nor did she over engineer any situations to make herself seem cooler. She doesn't argue with Mettaton! She's confident and assertive! She's Asgore's right hand woman and next in line for the throne! And ofc, the badass final boss! What's not to love?

...But none of this is Alphys, is it?

Her anxiety isnt just because of the determination experiments, it's pretty clear she's always been a pretty shy and nervous person. In fact, based on her entries they were one of the things she was more confident in before it all went wrong. People are hard, but she knows science, y'know?

She doesn't get to be flawed or interesting - despite her presence, she's just a generic cool scientist who's suave with the ladies, I guess..?

She isn't particularly dorky, shes overly confident, she has zero issues to work through. Her relationship with undyne is perfect (derogatory) and her infodumping about anime just before the archive feels very forced, like they remembered last minute that she does that and thought it should be included somehow.

Depicting what she'd be like in a scenario where the determination experiments never happened is a fun and interesting idea! But deltarune demonstrates how to do that well, and I think they completely missed the mark. The way she talks, her body language, the way she acts around others in general... These things are universal constants and yet in outertale, she's basically a different person entirely.

Outertale alphys isn't allowed to lie (save to cover for asgore Secretly Being A Good Person), she isn't allowed to miscalculate, she isn't allowed to mis-speak or make mistakes or do anything she'd regret. She feels like an alphys written by someone who hates her in canon and thinks all her flaws make her terrible and unlikable. I doubt this is the case since I don't think a person like that would've given her such prevalence, but that's the level of love and attention I feel was given to her writing here. It makes me sad.

And, of course... The DT experiments and her fight.

... Why did she have vials of determination if all the humans are alive? Did she take it from them? If so, was this before or after they went into stasis? We know she's not been the royal scientist for long in relation to how long humans have been falling, so did ROMAN take the determination? How much of this did she even DO?

Why did she and sans even DO anything with determination? It... Doesn't really make sense.

Speaking of determination, why did she melt at the end of her fight? I'd assume she's injected herself with determination as one of the vials in her lab is mentioned to be partially used, but I'm pretty sure it's also like this on pacifist. Was that overlooked? Are we just meant to assume it's MORE depleted? Does she just have natural determination now because She's So Cool And Badass? This isn't even really a complaint about the fight, more just how poorly that part of her lab is handled lmao

But getting into her fight... Idk, it didn't really feel like her. A lot of it was just random bullshit that was hard for the sake of being hard, that didn't really seem to be tied to her identity very well at all. People complain a lot about the Zenith Martlet fight in undertale yellow but that's done far better than this, imo. It clearly reflects martlet's character, personality and canonical bullet patterns (we see Alphys' in ut tpe!), there's a genuine feeling of progression in the fight and the act you're given to help with the fight feels more effective - you can still damage her on her turn, so taking a turn to heal act doesn't feel like a waste. The Asriel acts though... They just don't last long enough to feel that worth it? Sure they're okay, but in general, you get a lot less time to breathe. Martlet's fight lets you retry from phase 2 if you die. Sans' in undertale gives you as many turns as you need to heal while he's sparing you. Alphys' fight just feels like it's made to feel un-fun and painful throughout in a way that just isn't worth it, and doesn't really feel like it fits her personality either, y'know? The fight was just a slog and like many others, I had zero motivation to finish it legit. I don't think it helps that the undyne and mettaton fights in this route are fairly easy and simple in comparison.

Tldr: they took away everything that makes alphys endearing, fun and interesting. This isn't alphys at all.

Asgore

A huge chunk of this essay accidentally got deleted, including my first attempt at writing this section. In it, I mentioned that the Asgore apologism went way too far.

This time though, I don't think I'd even call it that. Reflecting on it, it feels less like an attempt to defend him and more like a way to hate on and spite Toriel.

Seriously. So much of his character basically just feels like someone going 'fuck you toriel. I'm giving EVERYTHING to asgore.'

It's... Really weird?

Asgore having a way out of killing humans is an interesting concept! Outertale takes place 500 years in the future compared to undertale, so the idea that they have the resources and technology to do that is kinda cool and in theory, exploring this idea sounds really fun. In practice though, it feels like it was mostly done to make Toriel out to be an asshole for no reason and to laugh at her for ever assuming he would've really killed anyone (despite... Y'know. Telling everyone that's what he was doing.)

He just. Completely moved on from Toriel without a second thought seemingly, and doesn't even look that affected by seeing her turn up again - meanwhile SHE'S got crumpled up tea recipes in the trash and all the Sad Divorced Energy - it doesn't really fit either of them! Toriel wasn't really given a reason to miss him like that, and I think even if he DID fully move on, he'd be way happier to see her than that.

All his leading statements on how she must feel in LV1 pacifist sucked ass also, especially with the way she kinda just agreed that yeah, she feels like shit for not trusting that he'd suddenly do a 180 and not hurt anyone (AGAIN. AFTER HE CONTINUED TO LET EVERYONE BELIEVE THIS) and that she must feel unworthy of being a mother. She hadn't even said half of this in front of him yet! He put words in her mouth! That in itself would be fine (social blunders are pretty normal for asgore after all) but it... Wasn't treated like that. It was handled as if this was a sweet and compassionate thing for him to say which... Yikes.

And ofc he gets to adopt frisk, and monster kid, and get to have Asriel live with him! His fatherhood is never called to question in undertale, but ofc Toriel's motherhood has to be here. Hell, despite their divorced status, if you talk to gerson in tpe it's highly implied frisk asks if asgore would start aging again if he became their dad! Idk, all of this part just reeked of Toriel hate and nothing more. Asgore is just yet another character to get sanded down and de-clawed and it sucks. So much of what makes him interesting is his mistakes and flaws and how they impact him, y'know?

Twinkly

I wanna start this by saying I don't think his writing is too bad. It's not amazing by any means but by outertale standards, he's one of the better written characters. That being said, Flowey is my favourite character of all time so I'm still gonna be critical.

So they did save the goat. Save the goat aus really aren't my thing nowadays - I feel like so often people act like he's a separate person to Flowey entirely and act like the alarm clock app dialogue doesn't exist. Asriel didn't end the story as a doomed tragedy fated to fade away! Flowey ended the story as someone who finally got closure on the loss of his best friend, and can finally learn to move on, even if it takes him a while to adjust. I don't think he needs to be a goat again for that.

That being said, I know these kinda aus are a big wish fulfilment thing for a lot of the fandom that aren't even necessarily something people want to be canon as much as they just wanna explore the idea and see him truly happy, so I won't judge that element too harshly. People are allowed to have fun, and I think save the goat can be fine if it respects him as flowey rather than separating them.

I really like that they allow Asriel to be fucked up and an asshole rather than him soft rebooting into some Sweet Perfect Little Prince once he returns to his old form, like so many other save the goat takes. Even in lv0's ending he struggles to bite back insults and mean comments aimed at Monster Kid which is... Admittedly kinda refreshing! There's definitely some flowey (or I guess in this case, twinkly) behaviour that still comes through here and I'm glad. This carried over to chaotic, too. While his characterisation wasn't perfect, this at least felt like twinkly obtaining a few form and continuing to play with the world, rather than your standard Asriel take. I also really liked that he remembers and acknowledges chaotic if done before pacifist, that was neat and adds to his character (as far as this game goes) I think.

However, onto the biggest, glaring issue I have with him.

Why. Why does he exist.

No, seriously.

In its attempt to make the world perfect, a world that blatantly only exists so the creator could make a save the goat ending, mind, there's no reason for the goat to need to be saved at all. Nor for him to exist after dying back when Chara lived with the dreemurrs.

Asgore isn't killing humans, so the souls don't need to be absorbed by anyone. Frisk can just enter the archive and lend their power to destroy the forcefield themselves, so there's no ultimatum like there is in undertale - there's no implied tradeoff of Frisk's life for the freedom of monsters without twinkly's intervention. In undertale, flowey's messing around opened up an ending that would've otherwise been impossible, something that worked for everyone.

Without him existing at all here, frisk could've broken the barrier just fine. All it really added to pacifist was a couple extra boss fights and asgore being dead for two minutes. And him being saved I guess but again, there's no real story justification for him being here EXCEPT to pat yourself on the back for saving him.

Why was he created? In undertale it's pretty clear - they wanted a vessel to hold all the souls in for now during the true lab experiments. He exists because Alphys selected the first flower to ever grow in the garden and injected it with determination that she extracted from the human souls.

... But all the humans are... Alive and well in outertale? They don't need a vessel to contain their souls. They don't need to extract any determination from anyone. Again, why do they HAVE vials of determination? And why did she inject one into a flower?

AND THAT'S THE OTHER BIG THING. It's established she and sans injected a starling flower for... Whatever reason. SO WHY THE HELL IS TWINKLY A CARTOON STAR?!

This point makes absolutely no sense at all. He looks absolutely nothing like a starling flower nor does he behave like a flower at all, which is confusing if that's what he started as. Honestly, I think it would've made more sense to just keep him as Flowey if they were gonna include him at all, and just have his appearance reflect a starling flower instead of a golden flower.

This applies to his fight too. Mechanically I think it's AWESOME, but the visuals are... Just very very boring. A huge part of why his fight in the original is so good it's the bizarre and chaotic nature of it, the horror elements, and the way so much of flowey's trauma in terms of how he was created and the things he finds scary was put on blast for all to see. The combination of mechanical and organic elements, all the plants and insects... Idk, just going 'hmm he's a star. Let's have him go through a star life cycle' is boring, there's no visual appeal.

If his creation is so vague and wishy washy, this would've been a great opportunity to flesh it out more. How was he created? What kinds of technology and machinery did alphys use to put all this together? How did she (or roman????? unclear) get the determination? What does twinkly remember?

That leads me onto a tangentially related topic - his trauma. I... Don't think this was shown very well. He talks a bit about BEING traumatised from the lab, but telling isn't the same as showing and canon flowey is terrible at hiding it, whereas I'd just as easily believe outertale Asriel made it up for sympathy points. He never really projects, he doesn't force anyone else to experience anything like he did, nothing like that. He's just a cocky asshole who likes killing, and who eventually decides to start being nice.

This game constantly seemed to be speedrunning ways to get him from being twinkly to being Asriel as quickly as possible in almost every single route which... Huh???? It's weird. Would've been nice to let him be a star more rather than just Asriel...

(final amendment bc I lost a huge chunk of this essay originally and had to rewrite it, and I'm realising I didn't manage to fit this in this time... How does a single monster soul let him get his Asriel form again? Sure he's still treated as if soulless and it doesn't make him a good person, but if he was 'so tired of being a star', why hadn't he tried doing this sooner? It makes no sense...)

For a game that exists to give him a good ending, it's so ironic how little he needs to exist at all in this world. Just goes to show what it looks like when you go too far with 'fixing' things or removing stuff you seem 'too problematic' for the sake of being wholesome or whatever.

Chara

Speaking of which... Look I'm just gonna say it. This version of Chara sucks so bad.

Chara is one of my favourite characters - they're really interesting, morally grey, and a fascinating way for undertale as a game to interface with us as players.

They're a child who likely saw the worst of humanity, then found themselves in a home with family who genuinely loved them once they fell down and met the monsters. Their intense saviour complex made them feel like the best way to help their family was to sacrifice their own life to get enough souls to break them free (and once they realised they had control, get payback against the humans while they were at it). They could be mean-spirited and a prankster. They valued efficiency HIGHLY. Their favourite number was nine because it's the limit, the absolute, a way to stop hurting and to stop others hurting.

And by doing geno, you can push this fixation on stats further. Max out all your stats. Gain power. Get stronger. Become invincible. Nobody can hurt any more if the world is gone. And ofc, they stand as the final arbiter of consequences for the player. Your punishment for killing everyone and for pushing them into believing it needs to be completed. Chara both IS is and is separate from us in a way that can't really be fully disentangled and it's really, really cool.

Anyway, enough gushing about undertale Chara. What's outertale Chara in comparison?

... Nothing.

They're nothing.

Outertale Chara narrates occasionally. They're a ghost that follows frisk around, but aren't confined to that, and have been actively wandering the underground since their death. They also still have a SOUL for some reason? This part doesn't really make sense at all.

Other than sacrificing themself and maybe wanting to take out a few humans after Asriel absorbs them, they don't do anything that could be considered bad ever. The most devious thing they ever do is snatch Asriel's diary to leave a silly comment in there when they first arrive at the outpost (sans does this with Toriel's phone in undertale tpe for comparison lmao). Despite what Asriel seems to believe, Chara is completely absent from the chaotic route - never getting corrupted, never caring about our stats, never wanting to hurt anyone, never even trying to make us face any consequences. They're just... Not here. For a character so prevalent in the murder based route of undertale this is fucking wild.

They all but vanish if you so much as say something slightly mean to someone, too! It's strange, makes no sense, and just like with sans, it feels like they overcompensated waaaaaaay too much for the people who insist they're evil. On top of that, if you do chaotic before lv0, they don't even remember chaotic happening! They'd may as well have just been a member of the ghost family who likes following Frisk around when they're especially nice. Like Asgore and alphys, they've been sanded down and de-clawed to be 'wholesome' and 'perfect', and it just results in a bland, boring character who loses anything that made them interesting, nuanced and fun.

'Chara wasn't the greatest person'... Why, though? They don't have enough substance in this game for that line to really have as much impact.

Frisk

I'm gonna be honest - I actually ADORED their frisk at first, and I think that's because I started with a neutral run and ended up drawing them a lot. They felt silly and mischievous and interesting, and this continued into chaotic. They seem pretty chill with what's going on but then take that even further by being hilariously affectionate with Asriel and still doing silly things like being up for picking up the electrodampening fluid or drinking directly out of the fountain. They felt like a funny little mini-kris (save for being okay with all the murder ofc).

Then uhhhhhhh... That's when I experienced the second chaotic ending, the one without Asriel, as well as lv0. I feel like they definitely DID try to lean on the Kris angle on purpose in terms of their feelings on being controlled and stuff but it???? Just doesn't work very well? There's no ambiguity to this version of frisk once you've seen all the routes. Just like EVERYONE ELSE, they're just a perfect little angel who would never do anything wrong and anything past lv0 is just the eeeeeevil player influence or whatever. Come on, we have deltarune for that kinda approach to control 😭 (though even then, Kris is a layered and interesting character who isn't goodness and innocence personalised, and that's why they're cool)

In undertale, we have no idea what frisk is like as a person. WOULD they spare everyone without our influence? Would they kill? Would they be a scared child lashing out in self defense? Would they run from everything, then give up and let themselves die permanently somewhere? We just don't know! We're not supposed to know! It feels like it went back to the very early fandom interpretation where frisk is Good And Sweet and Innocent while Chara is evil incarnate - except this time they're BOTH the former.

It's a contradiction too! Why in the Asriel chaotic route are they so down to follow him, and pet him, and hug him every chance they get if they don't like all the stuff we're making them so? The player has no influence over Twinkly. Every single thing he did, he chose to do, and yet even if the only time frisk has seen him was him destroying their mercy button and forcing them to kill for him, they seem to love him to pieces and go along with whatever he says happily. What.

I feel like they didn't know what to do with Frisk here at all and it shows.

Other characters

This has been ridiculously long, but to quickly go over non-major characters... They did very few things to make Roman seem interesting, the amount of stuff hes implied to have helped Asgore with just reduces even further any influence or impact alphys had, and (a smaller nitpick)... Why didn't he use times new roman as a font when we DID see him speak in the archive/on the signal stars? It's such a missed opportunity...

Burgerpants was fun... Kinda. Developing him like this feels like something that should've happened DURING the actual game rather than before it though because it made him feel like a whole other person entirely? The poisoned food was very funny though.

Why is Snowy now Stardrake when his dad hasn't changed at all and Crystal looks like any other snowdrake? That was bizarre.

I actually really liked the humans! Establishing them as actual characters was really fun, and I especially like justice. Justice, at least in my opinion, is probably the most interesting character in this whole game tbh - someone who tried to do good but ultimately caused more harm than good, while NOT downplaying it, showing the consequences directly, and showing them work to try to make things better. The way we don't grab their item like the others in the twinkly fight nor go through an area for them in the archive (and just talk to them instead) really adds to their intrigue - what are they like? Who did they know? Is there something they don't want us to see? How are they strong enough to not need us to grab their weapon at all to lend their help? I think it's get funny that the only character I'm fully praising is the clover-adjacent one. Justice outertale they could never make me hate you

(that being said... seeing the way this game is clearly just supposed to be a 'fix' for undertale does sour my thoughts on the humans a little. did they only do this bc they thought them NOT being full characters in ut was bad/a problem with it? 🥴 This applies to the additional monster kid story focus too).

Speaking of monster kid... Them being an orphan was clearly just a plot device to give asgore more kids and therefore feel like he won more than Toriel. Monster kid in undertale seems like they probably did have real and loving parents, and they have a sister too!!!! Would've been nice if they'd at least done something with their sister :(

This got... Way longer than I expected, so I'll stop here. But outertale definitely gave me an even bigger appreciation for other ut fangames. My gripes with deltatraveler section 3 feel much smaller in comparison now, if tsus misses the mark on Flowey later down the line they've at least already done most characters so much more justice, and it really puts into perspective all the heart and soul that went into kissy cutie, as well as its genuine love got the source material and characters.

Sorry outertale, you weren't for me. That being said, if anyone disagrees with any of this then that's fine! These are all just my opinions and feelings on it after going through all the routes and talking about it with friends. Media is always gonna resonate with different people in different ways and that's a good thing! If your perspective on any of this is different and if you had way more fun with it, I'm glad you did and I genuinely wish I could've felt the same. I feel like at the very least, making it has probably been a great learning experience for the devs and I really hope they carry on making games and improving their skills. Hope y'all are thriving and having fun regardless 💙

[kooki914]

Hi again kooki! Hope you're doing great!

I LOVE your characters analysis and theories and after the newsletter thing, I really wanted to ask about your opinion on the Berdly's alleged invitation for Kris to go to the festival together. One of the problems that bothers me is that, I don't know, I hope this isn't just me, but to me, it seems Toby is creating a love triangle between Kris, Ralsei and Berdly if Kris really goes with Berdly to the festival. Precisely because of the romantic implications between Kris and Ralsei in the tunnel of love and Kris's playful little flirtations with him. And i feel like i need to see more thoughts on it - i feel like the only one thinking of how this would work? :( Now I wonder how Kris choices would be in game, if they would answer yes or no genuinely, Although the choices don't matter lol Imo, I dare say I would love to see a kind of denial on Kris's part (if Noelle ask Susie to the festival first), since Susie's question about the festival, I feel like they want to go with HER, on top of everything, and I would love to see a kind of jealousy on their character.

Maybe it's just my favoritism, I also thought about Susie asking who Kris would take to the festival and the Ralsei choice + wanting to bring Ralsei and Lancer to the Light World, I feel like Ralsei might even feel a bit more excluded than he already is in the game if all his friends were always having fun in the world without him. And if that's the case... I don't know what I would do other than cry for my baby boy 😔💔

My ask ends here, I hope I didn't miss the point of my question 😅 from such a small dialogue you can get a lot of information and thoughts and I think that's what happened here haha, but anyway, that's it!! I wish you all the best and a happy new year for you!! ^^ ✨

Happy new year to you, too! And, if I caught it correctly, the point of the ask is my opinions on the implied Kris/Berdly as a legitimate pairing in the last newsletter? And general thoughts about how that feels exclusionary towards Ralsei? As your ask is already long, so I'll put my answer under a readmore-

In short, I didn't really pay much mind to that bit of dialogue that was revealed. As a general rule of thumb, I assume all content outside of the game (newsletters, sweepstakes, merch) doesn't actually carry weight for the overarching plot. Some could argue with me, but, as an example, the only thing in the trailer for chapter 1 were characters hanging out and a running gag of too many dogs blocking everything because of "spoilers", and everything that WAS shown wasn't any kind of impactful spoiler at all. Or, the trailer for chapter 2, which only featured the first cutscene of the chapter and nothing else, not even showing us Susie and Kris landing in Castletown. I believe the supplementary material we're getting right now fills the same purpose, teasers that show us snippets of comic relief or set-dressing that doesn't actually impact the deeper themes of the story, or the narrative beats of character arcs.

With this in mind, my thought for the Berdly dialogue was, originally, that it can only be triggered if you didn't break his arm in the Queen battle AND if you gave the present to Berdly in Cyber City rather than literally anyone else. It's something the game actively mocks as an action (adding the starwalker to your team on TOP of Berdly in some cases and them both just disappearing in the next room, since it's all just a gag), and if I remember correctly it was only added after a playtester told Toby Berdly had become their favourite character. (I might be misremembering that trivia though don't quote me on that!) I imagine this dialogue follows that thread? Where if Kris was nice to Berdly and included him, Berdly decides to also be nice to Kris and include them.

I don't think there's any kind of love triangle is being set up between Kris Berdly and Ralsei, and I'm not just saying that to ease your concearns. Don't let popular fanon fool you, Kris seems to harbour no positive feelings towards Berdly even by the end of ch2. I really don't see romance between them implied in the game, with or without that bit of dialogue from the newsletter. Krerdly as a ship SKYROCKETED after ch2 when it didn't really exist in ch1, and I think Toby might just be giving a little nod to that with that dialogue. Ralsei is excluded from his friends in a myriad of ways, but I really don't think BERDLY is a contributing factor. Again, fanon likes putting a spotlight on him because people grew fond of him, but narratively speaking Berdly is as ir/relevant right now as Catti and Jockington are.

Overall I understand the worry of a forced love triangle, god knows that's how I felt during most of Cyber City as I played with Kris and Noelle pining after Ralsei and Susie respectively, but I (tentatively) have faith in the game to not actually play a love triangle completely straight. (Even with everything in the snowgrave route, I wouldn't consider Noelle/Kris/Ralsei to be a love triangle, at least not one being used in a trope-y way, Ralsei/Kris and Susie/Noelle are just the two main pairings in the game and they aren't messed with all tat much.) It just seems cheap and unearned to shove Berdly into that dynamic, especially since he's acted like a bully towards Kris for possibly even longer than Susie has (as she moved in recently but Berdly's been boasting since he was a kid), and Kris at no point shows interest in Berdly other than to mock him. You CAN make a ship out of that but I don't think it's gonna be canon, nor that plausible if I'm being biased lmao

On the Ralsei side of things, if Kris ends up romantically involved with any of the lightners I think Ralsei's true and honest first instinct would be to just back away and sort of re-instate "his place" in the group dynamic, aka full doormat mode. I really, REALLY hope we see him have some self awareness of the fact that he's constantly being left out, but I don't think it's going to happen any time soon. His purpose IS to stay in the background, essentially a piece of the dark worlds rather than a fully realised person, but I'm hoping that, at some point, he's going to yearn for more. The town fair might be the perfect place to do it, too, as it's entirely in the light world and it, inevitably, leaves him out of it as he doesn't even (seem to) have an item he can turn into to be carried around. It'd be interesting to see him actually GRAPPLE with the fact that his friends are "more important" than he is, and maybe give him a sense of worth that doesn't entirely hinge on their attention and approval. Though, I don't want to get too optimistic, as there's some WEIRD shit going on around Ralsei and his autonomy.

Out of all the darkners he seems the most self-aware but also the most resigned to his fate, even more than Seam I'd argue. Where they waste the days away in unfulfilled monotony, Ralsei ACTIVELY SEEKS unfulfillment in order to lift up his friends, and as much as I WANT Ralsei to go crazy go stupid it's going to take a lot of convincing, and I don't know if that can happen through Susie and Kris as they ARE the people he's worshipping and putting himself down FOR. It's always just a whole bag of worms with this kid, and in the end if it's any consolation, Kris has two hands. Though I don't know if either Berdly or Ralsei can handle polyamory in a healthy way LMAO

All in all I consider that Kralsei must be canonized.

[javert]

this is a very long post trying to dissect my current writing problems (which i am writing rather than writing anything productive, but you know, sometimes it's good to figure out a plan by talking through a problem)

anyway if you are interested in very nuts and bolts/how the sausage gets made of writing, you may find this post of interest. otherwise, the readmore is here to spare your dash

Here are my writing problems as I see them, not in any particular order, just in the order that they have occurred to me.

One: I have some genuine, non-trivial, flaws and weaknesses as a writer on the craft level. These weaknesses are mainly structural— I find it very very hard to “beat a story into shape.” This isn’t exactly a pacing problem, nor is it a story logic problem. It’s about… and this is very hard to even explain even though I know what the problem is— it’s about making sure that the emotional throughline of the novel and the events of the novel are working in lockstep.

This is why it’s not exactly a pacing issue— a novel like Lighting Out for the Territories actually has decent pacing-qua-pacing— major events are happening in almost every chapter— but people find that novel so unbearably tedious to read that they drop the entire series. Even a much better novel that readers like a lot more (pick almost any, but I’ll pick Servants of the Pharaoh as my mental reference frame) has this issue. The events happen, and have logical cause and effect, and there’s even an emotional thruline, but there’s something broken about it lol. I’m not doing a good job at explaining this. But it plagues— absolutely plagues— every novel that I have ever written. 

Many of them limp along and are good enough at disguising this issue “in the weeds of the writing” — like the moment-to-moment, chapter-to-chapter beats are strong enough to keep a reader fully engaged, but even in the best cases, the story is not as good as it could be if I learned how to solve this issue. Like SOTP and SMST are “good books” (in fact, SMST might be the best thing I’ve ever written), but they fall apart when you zoom out.

like i guess the bluntest way of putting this issue is that the overall simplest narrative arc of the story-- emotional rising action, climax, and falling action-- often feel muted in comparison to whatever the moment-to-moment beat is. like I said i'd take SOTP as an example, because I LIKE that book, I think it's a good book, almost every reader enjoys it, etc. but let me break down what the plot looks like structurally

(this is going to be painful to look at actually lol, i'm preemptively bracing myself)

so there's a couple major plots in SOTP, in descending order of importance

Yang's career in the Imperial military / his desire to reform the goldenbaum dynasty into something less horrific / to keep the people he cares about safe

Yang's troubled romantic life

Kircheis and his life problems

now, on some level, all three of these plots "work together"-- they form the whole story, and each one interacts with the others on several levels-- factual, emotional, thematic. but here are the events that actually happen in the story (by chapter number). this is written in very broad terms so that even people who have no clue what this story is about can follow my train of logic here. those who have read this book will have to forgive me failing to elaborate on a lot of the intricacies that actually make the book fun to read

Yang is assigned to his first job out of school, working for someone his former teacher assigned him to. He's given responsibility above his station, and he copes with it as best he can, despite being an outsider.

Yang immediately runs into a major moral dilemma, and chooses to sacrifice himself to save a bunch of civilians. he's spared by the skin of his teeth due to the themes of the novel and the fact that's it's chapter two lol

Yang goes back home and tries to repair a bunch of relationships from the previous book, which are now all on weird ground due to him being in a different phase of life. there's romantic drama here + yang gets a new boss and starts a new post. this chapter is very theme driven

Yang meets one of his love interests in this book, a noblewoman named Magdalena, at a party, and she immediately traps him in drama that he doesn't enjoy. again this is mostly a theme chapter.

Yang, while working his new job, is forced to make professional connections and prove himself in society. in this chapter he provides information to another character that will prove very useful later (it's not really that important to the actual major plot of this book though lol)

a chapter that is almost entirely about romantic drama. yang's other love interest (a man named reuenthal, who is currently involved with another friend of yang's) arrives on the planet, and the three of them attend a party at magdalena's house. it is revealed that magdalena is romantically involved with a woman named ingrid who is engaged to the crown prince. this is because this book revolves around crazy gay drama lol.

ingrid, magdalena's situationship, gets married to the prince. magdalena and yang socialize at the wedding with all the royalty and have an overall terrible time

yang and co terrible romantic drama happens. it's revealed that the crown prince is treating ingrid horribly. yang concocts a plan to help her escape the planet. this involves him switching jobs once again.

the plan goes horrifyingly wrong when, due to fearing for her life, ingrid murders the crown prince. magdalena begs yang to help her cover up the murder. they manage to pin the murder on a bunch of anti-monarchist revolutionaries, and ingrid escapes/is exiled off planet with help of the (maybe not so gentle) hands of a religious organization that she belonged to, though not before giving birth to a son

tonal whiplash sudden POV switch. narrative changes to Kircheis POV as he and his boyfie Martin kinda sorta participate in anti-monarchist revolutionary activities; kircheis ends up getting arrested in Martin's place. in order to get kircheis free, his mother bribes a judge-- his sentence is to attend a military academy.

coincidentally, it's the military academy that yang is teaching at. yayyyy

to be completely honest i forget what happens in chapter 12. i think it's mostly yang and kircheis hanging out and kircheis angsting about his relationship with Martin (this is a recurring theme). oh right i think the information that i mentioned would be relevant earlier becomes relevant in this chapter. but it's ngl a bit of a nothingburger in the overall plot.

reuenthal and his current boyfriend mittermeyer break up because mittermeyer needs to get StraightMarried. this finally allows yang to hook up with reuenthal yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

relatively lowkey kircheis and martin scenes in this chapter

mittermeyer gets married and everyone has a terrible terrible time

remember the dead crown prince? kircheis investigates that and comes to the conclusion that yang is lying about everything

STOP. PROCEED NO FURTHER. for some godforsaken reason i wrote a novella distinct from the actual book that slots in between 2 chapters of this book and is vital for understanding the plot. it's about reuenthal/yang/mittermeyer relationship drama. essentially reuenthal and mittermeyer get back together. anyway on to the actual chapter 17. actually i have no clue what happens in ch 17 and i'm not going to look. oh wait actually i think it's a kircheis chapter about how kircheis has multiple divided loyalties due to things that are happening in other books of the series.

drama that happens offscreen causes yang to get wrapped up in mittermeyer's problems and need to rescue him. this is a very long chapter with lots of moving parts, but at the end yang ends up working for a different guy who he hates

the end. that's the book.

now i cannot stress enough that the moment-to-moment experience of reading SOTP is really genuinely good. everybody likes this book! but can you point out like. what the arc is here? because i cannot lol. it's a structural disaster area even if all of the different beats are interacting well on both a logical (cause -> effect -> cause) and thematic/emotional level

this book is partially Like That because of the following factors

i was just sorta vibing and playing in the mental/thematic space without as much of an actual plan as i would like. i was lining up dominoes so that i could topple them down someday

it was 2020 and so i was a way worse writer back then (but i picked this novel as my example b/c in this arena i haven't improved THAT much)

i cannot stress enough that this book and its associated novella are combined 200k words and were written in 3 months (chapter 1 was posted April 27th, chapter 18 was posted August 8th)

i am a web serial author.......................

and it really is i think the last point that has screwed me over to an unbelievable degree lol. writing web serials encourages several extremely good writing skills to develop (write clean, engaging first drafts very quickly. have chapters that really Function on the chapter level-- you need to encourage people to want to click on their email notifications every time they get one) and some horrifyingly bad ones (never learn how to edit, never get the chance to consider the Book as a unit instead of either as part of the arc of the larger serial or just a series of chapters, the emphasis on satisfying chapters leads to a flattened experience of the course of a book, etc)

and like. man. several different thoughts happening here

obviously on a basic level, this is WHY people use shitty tools like save the cat, and they hammer their manuscripts so that EXACTLY 10% of the runtime is spent on "the fun and games section" in early act 2 or whatever. but i hate this, am opposed to it on principle, and furthermore i don't actually think i need it.

like, i'm aware of what my issue is and i'm aware of exactly how to solve it. i just don't let myself (?)

i can try to clarify

ok. here's the thing. the way i figure out how to write the events in any book, or chapter, i'm always starting with the question "At the end of this, what do I want the end state to be? what do I want to have accomplished? What do I want the reader to feel or understand?" and that's a good place to start-- and once you have a question, you can get the answer.

I want SOTP to end with Yang working for Duke Braunschweig, so that he's on a thematically interesting "side" of the Imperial Civil war when that breaks out

Why would Yang be working for him? Yang doesn't like him, and would prefer to stay out of it.

Yang has to work for him voluntarily, because he sees it as a way of sacrificing himself to solve a more important problem for one of his friends.

What's the problem? Whose problem is it?

etc etc etc. and ofc back in SOTP days, i hadn't really fleshed out this theory of how to write in as many words, and i was just operating on vibes, but subconsciously this was what I was doing. and it works great for constructing a logical thruline and a thematic thruline. but it fucking sucks for making a plot that has the right "arc energy". this way of brainstorming doesn't work the chain of events in any given "size"-- it makes a fairly naturalistic chain of events.

but. as one of the few good pieces of writing advice says-- the goal of writing dialogue is not to make your characters speak in a completely naturalistic way. that would suck ass to read lol. the goal is to write dialogue in a way that is "realer than real"-- it is a tool to communicate many things that are larger than the words that are actually being said. if you make your dialogue compelling, it becomes convincing despite not being entirely naturalistic. i think i'm pretty good at this-- my characters do not speak in natural ways at all, but people consistently cite my dialogue as feeling natural lol. i'm not trying to brag here lol-- i'm just expounding on the theory

and so like. it's pretty obvious that every other aspect of the story /should/ follow that same rule. i am-- as i've said before-- kinda a trad when it comes to the theory of fiction. that "realer than real, truer than true" aspect is not PoMo... :( they're gonna kick me out of the avant guarde... :(

sorry it is late and i am tired but i want to finish my thoughts here before i go to bed. anyway. structure should operate in the same way. the chain of events has to be logical, but it does not have to be naturalistic (and you can see what the effects of 'pure naturalism' are if you go read ie a quest thread where events are determined by dice roll). it should follow an arc, and through the way the arc itself carries meaning, that will make the events /feel/ natural to the reader, even if they're not exactly.

and. ok. i see the problem. i see the solution. what's my fucking issue?

well the issue is that i don't know how to edit lol. when i come up with a story through that above "backwards mapping" process, I get attached to it, for one thing, and I can't mentally picture breaking it apart and replacing the events with different ones. like as soon as i have answered one of these questions for myself, it FEELS like it must be the true answer, even if i could have (by random happenstance) thought of something different. i don't like the feeling of reintroducing possibility in places where things already feel solid

this is a personal problem, and i've allowed it to get so bad because i don't edit. and you can say "oh haven't you rewritten itsoh 1" and yeah, i have-- but the itsoh 1 rewrite is crucially bad in many of the same ways that the og was! i mean, i fixed some of the pacing jank (i cut like, idk, 100k words out? lol) but the course of events, which has one violent climax at around the 1/3 mark of the story, and the rest spirals out from there and is kinda boring ngl, remains exactly the same! lol! i was too attached to the sequence of events that "felt like the true story" as if the story wasn't just something i made up cause it sounded cool as a web serial plot point in 2018. like. i for real do not need to be married to this shit. and yet i am.

i think-- though i'm not entirely sure-- i could force myself to break all of these terrible habits by the simple act of doing the unthinkable: making actual structural edits to any given book. put myself through a developmental editing boot camp.

years ago, i did the equivalent with my godawful pacing nightmare, and i basically solved that problem. my pacing can still be a little jank (see this whole discussion), but my pacing issues are not bloat issues anymore, and they used to be primarily bloat problems. kinda a double edged sword in the end b/c by fixing my bloat issues i was like :) well that must mean my pacing is fine :) which is obviously not correct lol

anyway at the real heart of all this and all my current angst is that like, idk, i've been writing for 7 years now, like seriously fucking writing-- i'm approaching 3 million words of stories that anybody can go read. and like not to brag but i do genuinely think that i am a seriously good writer. like really good. and some of that's ego ofc but i also have straight up put in the hours (it's not a case of raw talent lol-- you can read the og itsoh and see what i was like before i put in the hours-- it's pretty bad 😅)

anyway this just results in me feeling like, i don't really know where i'm going from here or how to get there. to sum it up

clearly if i keep writing web serials (which i like to do!!! i love writing web serials!!!) i am not going to solve this structural issue. it's endemic to the web serial as a format because the only way to go in a draft is to start at page one and end when you finish. you can't edit except on a chapter level.

also, web serials are clearly not a path for me if i actually want people to read my books. i think the hypothetical "market segment" that i'm trying to capture-- readers of emotionally intense, serious, thematically heavy SFF-- is, and i'm sorry to admit it, not the typical web serial audience. i'd love to maybe capture robnost's audience, but i'm more grounded (ie less high concept) of a writer than robnost is. i'm less action heavy than wildbow is. idek who the other big names are in even approaching my genre are these days lol, i've kinda fallen off the web serial readership train sadly. but the point being is that i don't think i'm capable of getting people to read my work if i keep working on web serials. and getting people to read my writing is kinda the whole point

and i do, admittedly, have an ego. i want the official stamp of approval from the "authority" of tradpub. and i'm not gonna lie, i could use the money too lol. so i keep wanting that, even though i don't know how to get there. and the flop of whale novel really really hurt lmao. it wasn't so much the rejection that bothered me, but the strain of having a futile but inescapable hope hanging over you like a cloud for months and months is just just psychologically brutal in a way that sounds stupid until you experience it yourself.

and also... this is the worst one because it's the factor most under my own control. i simply always want to keep moving forward. i feel like i have such a limited amount of time in my life and so many things i want to do, it's kind of stupid to not just run forward as fast and as hard as i can. get it done. check it off my to-do list. if i'm spending months doing developmental edits to a book, that's months i'm not spending writing something new, something that could be good right out of the gate, because i've learned my lessons this time! i swear! i've learned them and the next project will be perfect! but the next project always finds some new way to twist and unveil a flaw-- if it's in the work or in myself, i don't know.

so.

that's the position i'm in.

and you can see very clearly how this all comes back to EHI, the project i'm working on now. I actually do think it has a bit better of an "arc" than most other projects i've written, but it's broken. i've got people telling me it needs to cut 50k words and double in length at the same time. the same person is saying those two contradictory things lol. and like, i get it. i understand what that means about this project

and i think these are fixable problems, if i finish this draft and then rip it back apart, and spend two months breaking it on the wheel. but those two months could be having me write a different project, a better project, a more marketable project, or a project that would make my existing audience happy, or a project that would knock something off my to-do list, etc

and also. like. it's gotta be admitted that i have some kind of subclinical bipolar disorder (well. everything in life is subclinical if you never go to the doctor lol), and right now i'm Up, and that is a state that has a time limit, and as they say, the master of the house does not know the hour when the thief is coming lol.

so. idk. do i finish this ehi draft? yeah probably. do i edit it? idk. do i try to go through the query trenches again with it? even more complicated of a question.

and the rest of my projects-- i feel like i could get stuck in an endless cycle of rewriting things if i don't just cut my losses at some point. that's a major web serial author failure mode, and i don't want to become a statistic there lol. but i also hate the feeling of knowing that i could do better now.

it's the same feeling i had when i was in undergrad. i'd bomb a test and feel like an idiot, but the next unit, when we had to use what we'd learned in the previous one, somehow it'd click, always just a little too late.

[zarvasace]

Ugh tumblr is not cooperating with my readmores and art. Oh well we can do it this way. AU masterpost

Say hello to Shackle and Nothing, dark Wind and dark Time :D more art and long descriptions beneath the cut!

Shackle

Shackle is dark Wind. 

To me, one of Wind’s core themes is freedom. He goes wherever he wants on his boat (and has fun), he frees a couple girls from the Helmaroc King, and when I think of him, I think of wild blue skies and an endless horizon. He loves life and is one of the most determined heroes. 

Shackle, on the other hand, is a bit of a control freak. He doesn't mind not being in charge all the time (he does mind, but he doesn't like to be challenged, and knows that he'd lose any fight for the top place, so he pretends to not care) but he does mind when things don't go his way. If someone or something is annoying him or not listening to him, he will readily use one of the many chains he carries to threaten or restrain. He likes being in control of others, and he likes when people are afraid of him. He keeps fairies nearby, not so much in case of healing, but because he can shake their bottles and listen to them chime in fear. 

Shackle is a rather skilled manipulator, and one of the few Darks that look pretty much human, so he's often the one to head excursions into town (Prince is more of a charismatic diplomat, but his powers don't work on whole crowds at a time.) Because of his strength and chains, he's often the one to be on Dire duty, something he doesn’t mind much. Shackle is also very fond of money and luxury. He’ll pinch rupees on anything that doesn't have to do with him, like someone else’s supplies, but he's happy to splurge on himself. 

He doesn't have any mystical powers, but he does have enchanted chains that grow and shrink according to his needs. He eats food like any mortal. He's as young as Wind is but is more often successful at bluffing his way into bars and the like. He “jokes” often about earning a couple rupees from selling one of the others—usually Lost or Madness, or Nothing if he's being annoying (a normal occurrence.) Shackle’s ambition is to break free of the others and start a true pirate empire, and the way he wants to do that is by starting a slave trade. That way he can indulge his loves of intimidation and money at the same time. 

In terms of design: Shackle is pale to Wind’s tan, a bit beefy to Wind’s young lankiness. He wears red instead of blue, leaning into the pirate aesthetic with sashes and belts and leather and eyeliner. He got a chain tattoo because he thought it was cool. He fears losing everything he has, and some of what he doesn't have. 

The only thing that Shackle and Wind would agree on is that Aryll must be protected and lavished with gifts at every opportunity (even though Shackle hasn’t technically met her, yet.) He'd treat her like a princess—as long as she agreed with him about what a princess should be. He isn't a very good listener. 

Nothing

Nothing is dark Time. He appears as a petulant child: sharp and angular and half-dead. He takes all of Time’s gremlin tendencies and turns them into cruel pranks and mean-spirited insults. Time is a leader, and Nothing intentionally holds the group back if he can get away with it. Nothing is resentful: he remembers fighting Time, though he, like Agony, is different now—he can think more clearly and has a  purpose beyond just being something's  guardian. 

Nothing gets along best with Madness. He hates being given orders and actively goes the other way unless it was his idea. The group at large only barely puts up with him, but they keep him around for a good reason: he's kind of a genius. He knows dungeons, traps, and gimmicks like nobody’s business. He won't ever give advice on one of Depth’s plans if asked, but they've figured out that if they give Nothing an opening to dunk on someone and hurt one of the Heroes, he'll jump into it and put that genius to work. He's excellent at predicting what the heroes might do, which makes everything just that much more sinister. 

On occasion, Nothing will fall into fugues. During these periods, he appears as an older teenager instead of a child, and he's virtually unresponsive. He'll move if prodded. He’ll fight—and fight very well—if told to, but he won't speak, the embodiment of his name. Pretty much everyone finds the contrast rather creepy. These periods don't last long, and soon enough, Nothing is back to his bratty younger self. 

Most of all, Nothing wants everything Time has, but if given the option, he wouldn't take Time’s place. He innocently wishes he could be a hero, but he knows he can't be, so he's going to go as far the other direction as possible. He wants to build his own life. But the people around him wouldn't ever let that happen, so Nothing is bitter and lashes out, without any reason not to. 

Nothing is designed very much after the Dark Link in Ocarina of Time’s Water Temple, with a few significant tweaks. He is based on young Link instead of the older one, and he is also covered in signs of decay. There are faint red and purple lines like veins on his skin, like corpses that began to decompose underwater, and his tunic and hat show signs of the same. When he appears as a teenager, the decay is even worse. His sword is patterned after the Master Sword, but is just a normal, nonmagical thing. 

Nothing is the Hero of Nothing, a sad admittance of his own emptiness and a jab at Time’s forgotten timelines. He wouldn't even know how to seize the opportunity to be a hero of something if it showed up in front of him.

[ouroborosorder]

OK but when you're free of all the other obligations and able to do it can we get the Ines skin writeup anyway because I liked the Eine Variation one and why do they keep giving Caprinae ops skin like this do they just hate goats at hypergryph or what

Okay so I got this ask a month and a half ago and am just now getting to responding to it. In that time, I got a job as a professional VFX artist so my opinion means double what it did before. So that's fun! Respect me and bow to me, peasants.

I wrote a massively long writeup here and then my page refreshed and I lost all of it twice. Let's speedrun this shit, alright? (She says, immediately writing a 5 page unhinged rant.)

This skin sucks because of the exact opposite reason Eine Variation does, it's just too fucking detailed for its own good.

...Also what the fuck is that in the background is that a goddamned alien spaceship has anyone else noticed this?? This is a bloodline of combat skin this is canon does ines just fight aliens at some point what the FUCK?

Anwyay VFX in the readmore.

Deploy animation. I hate you. I hate this. I hate it.

It's rare I get to see an entire skin's mistakes in microcosm like this! That's fun!

This is so detailed that it actually ceases to have any real shape or identity. This doesn't look like shadow, because skins can just. Change character lore to make something look cool yes I'm still mad. Is it stars? That would explain the weird yellow dots, and there are stars in the art. Fire? No, it's not actually fire, there'd be fire here. Burning fabric? It only looks like that if I squint and zoom in, but I can't... think of anything else.

The colors are so awful. The way that there is a hard line between the dark lavender and the scarlet which then fades into orange is. A choice. I would not have made. At all. In any way. Ever. At any point. Also the random dots of yellow are very funny because they are so clearly just random pixels of yellow. Some of them even aren't in the orange, so they're just like, highlights that have decided to break out of the highlighted areas. Did they.. want this to look like her burning dress? In which case, why are they.. blue? Her dress is black with orange embers, I don't GET IT.

Also small thing but it has a drop shadow, but like. She's literally in all black until she fully appears. And the swirling ribbons are dark-colored. There's no worry about them not standing out against a light background. Is that just supposed to look like she's surrounded by shadow if that's the case then why isn't the rest of this shadow AGH.

This looks weirdly... JPEG compressed??? Like, you can kiiinda see it in the big version, but if I shrink this down to phone resolution...

GOOD LORD SHE'S BEEN DEEP-FRIED.

S1 is good. I like it. It's simple, elegant. Good use of colors, and I think the impact looks great, good use of red and orange to create visual interest. Not gonna bother to screenshot it, it's not that interesting NEXT

S2!

Stop it. Stop it. Put a few colors away. I am counting 8 distinct colors in this one swing alone, and then two more for Ines herself. Stop it. That is too many colors. Add less colors.

I don't even see what the colors are there FOR. Are they selling the tip of the swing? That's not right, because the red highlights start at the tip, then swirl inwards until the red is in the inner part.

I do actually think this one is a lot better at actual resolution.

It's still too detailed, and that detail ends up being crunched and not really... serving any purpose in the grand scheme of the effect, but I do think it is... better. It makes it more clearly light on the outside, dark on the inside.

Also I hate the ends of this swing. I hate it. Why is one a perfect circle that's been stretched out and the other end a rectangle that's fading out. Why is that how you did this. This effect looks like two different swings that have been stapled together like goddamned Catdog.

BUT WHEN IT FADES IT HAS AN INKBRUSH LOOK SO WHAT IS THIS EFFECT.

Why not lean into the burning dress look? Have it be a black trail that like, burns away when it fades? That would be STUNNING, anything but. Whatever is happening here. Mrgrgr okay fine it can't get worse right

DEAR READER. I PRESENT. S3. THE CULMINATION OF EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM.

So this IS a stars theme after all. This IS stars? Just wanna make sure we're all on the same fucking page here.

Dear reader. I hate this. So fucking much. This may be, and I do truly mean this, the worst piece of VFX I have ever seen in any game. This doesn't read as a piece of VFX in an anime game, it reads like the background of a YA fantasy novel's cover.

The nebula doesn't move. It's static. It is clearly just a jpeg. It's not even doing the Chowder screen-space orientation thing. It's just. There. Inescapable.

The comet itself just. Ends. It doesn't fade out or taper. It just. Stops. There's barely any anti-aliasing here. It's just a hard line between the comet and the background.

Ines herself is surrounded by identical dark lavender and orange energy, so there's no visible difference between the effect and herself. Sure. It's not going to be onscreen long anyway. Who cares.

The center of the comet is bright white as if it's the highlight of the effect, but it's... it's off-center?? so it's ultimately... Highlighting something. is it highlighting the sword? Is it supposed to be a haze that shows you the sword? But it doesn't look like it because it took me 15 minutes while writing this to realize that the sword was there at all because it's the same orange color as all the other highlights and so it gets eaten. If your highlight color stops drawing my eye, then you've fucked up because that is literally what a highlight color is supposed to do. Where am I supposed to look at this thing, where is the focus, the shape?

It's even funnier that the blade leaves a little cartoony goofy team rocket blink when it leaves, before immediately turning into whatever public domain NASA star image they're using for the comet. A real glimpse into what it would look like if Spiderverse sucked ass. (I do like the blink itself tho, a small little blue haze to add color and contrast against light backgrounds, smart touch.)

Explosion sucks. Suddenly they decide the palette is something entirely different. Where did the yellow come from. Yellow isn't even on the art. I guess when your palette is that big, you can change them up how you want. I would actually like this effect if it was slightly less detailed and in a skin that had actually used this pallette. It reminds me a bit of Specter the Laurentina. But with this level of detail and these colors... This somehow looks more like a YA book cover. A Sword of Goats and Stars. Fuck me I hate it.

I almost like this buff uptime indicator, It's just that the red from the swords fades into the orange on her dress and makes the whole thing muddy. Also she has an actual roiling flame behind her LMAO GET DUNKED ON HOEDERER THAT'S RIGHT I WILL DUNK ON HIM EVERY TIME EVEN THIS PIECE OF TRASH HAS ONE UP ON THE HOE LMAOOOOO

(In fact I actually... think this might be a recurring texture? It looks familiar, but I can't pin down from where. This is a bad screenshot for showing it but I'm not bothering to get a new one. This is my mental breakdown and I get to choose the visual aids.)

Anyway, maybe I'm being mean. After all I'm criticizing an effect for being too detailed when I am actively zooming in and looking at the details. So let's shrink down to the resolution of my phone just to see how it would-

Ah.

Final Ouroboros VFX ranking: A jpeg compressed photo of a wizard airbrushed on a van / 18 Originium Prime. Actually wait no that sounds too cool. Uh. The wizard is also racefaking. Now it's no longer cool. Nailed it.

[theweirderstuffblogdontlook]

Got two fanfics below the readmore, and a closing comic strip at the end of the fanfic showing what happens afterwards. So make sure to at least scroll to the bottom!

Sitting at the bar, a gay bar mostly frequented by lesbians which they had visited without incident a few times prior, Caprica alternated between sipping a drink, looking at her phone, and keeping an eye on Bob. Bob being currently disguised as Barbra, her "girlfriend" and former truck driver from out of town who’s been recovering from a car accident at her house.

It seemed everything was going pretty well. Bob's done a good job not being too suspicious and not breaking character, so she's been exploiting the bar over the past couple of days to keep Bob busy, and give herself a break from having the undivided attention of her obsessive stalker.

Though the unfortunate (in her opinion) trade off of being in a public location, is that sometimes people other than Bob will also take the initiative to bother her.

Case in point, as a lady sat in a barstool beside her, gesturing to get her attention and get Caprica to lean in a bit closer.

Saying in a bit of a hushed tone

"Hey, sorry to bother ya honey, but I figured I'd ask you instead. But Barbara's a Trans woman right?"

Oh… guess they clocked Bob. Still, that's a lot better than assuming he's a notorious criminal hiding out in disguise. 

She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.

"Uhhhhh…. Yeah. She… uhhh, she'd rather not talk about it."

"Yeah I understand. Just figured I'd ask since we've got a support group coming up, in case she wants to participate. You can let her know just in case I don't get the chance to talk with her privately for a minute."

"No, it's probably best if I let her know myself, so she won't… uhhh… I'll let her know."

"Alright, just get back to me if Barb is interested or not. No pressure though if she isn comfortable bringing it up."

"Yeah, we'll let you know."

And she got up and left to go mingle, leaving Caprica alone with her thoughts.

Damn, she should probably get ahead of this before Bob does anything too suspicious.

Sometime later, she and Bob sat in the big truck that used to belong to her grandfather, getting ready to go home, though she got Bob to pause for a bit for a chat. 

"So there might be something we should go over in regards to your Barbra disguise. So just in case someone asks, let's go over what transgender means, and a few other relevant terms you should know."

"Well alright. If ya think it'll help."

(One explanation later…..)

"Alright, now say it back to me. Someone asks if you're a Trans woman, what do you think that means?"

Bob, with a bit of excitement in his tone, replies

"It means I'm a lady who hasn't chopped off her dick yet!"

"...."

"...."

"You know what, we'll work on that."

And they head home.

Another day, another time, but the same place, Caprica and Bob (disguised as Barbra) are sitting together at a table at the lesbian bar, sharing a plate of nachos. 

Though Caprica was more eating a small bowl of jalapeño rings that came with the nachos than the nachos themselves.

And Bob was more enjoying teasing and flirting with his grumpy unsociable girlfriend than snacking.

Until they are rudely interrupted.

Two men, acting tipsy either from alcohol or their own egotistical self satisfaction, sleased over, one of them leaning against the table beside Caprica while the other stood behind her.

"Hey cutie, how'd you like to get with a real man?"

"Yeah, we’d be happy to show what you’re missing, hanging out with a bunch of slutty rug munchers like these."

Without skipping a beat though, and more of reflex than anything, Caprica deadpanned,

"Dude, this is a gay bar…. For gays. Quit flirting with people like me and go suck each other's faces instead."

And reached to take a sip of her drink.

Before her eyes glance over, and notice Bob's hand balled into a tight fist, which shook slightly with rage.

Caprica choked on her drink

OH SHIT RIGHT BOB!!!!!

These guys just… Oh shit. Right in front of Bob.

Trying not to let the nerves show in her voice, she says

"Okay, you…. You guys need to leave…" 

Obviously not successful in putting up a brave front.

And the guys just leaned in a bit closer. Pitching their voices a bit lower to make it harder for any lookie-loos to hear them over the background music.

"Awwww, but we just got here! And somebody's gotta set these dykes straight, might as well be a couple of good Samaritans like us."

"Yeah, we'd be happy to show you chick's what dick tastes like."

SHIT what can she do!! These guys are literally digging their own graves! Eyes widening further in fear she glances between the guys and the barely disguised ball of murderous rage that was Bob. 

Probably the only things keeping these two guys alive right now, was one… Bob being a bit of a slow thinker, taking a minute to figure out how exactly he was gonna murder these two. And two, that she makes him leave his knives at home when they go out in disguise so he couldn’t impulse stab as easily.

She makes a snap decision. 

Maybe if she can make a scene first, Bob won't get the opportunity to do something drastic and reveal his identity in public.

She turns to glare at the two men, raising her voice to draw more attention and maybe get someone else to intervene first before any blood gets spilled.

"I am literally here with my fucking girlfriend!"

She says gesturing at Bob.

"Now unless you two assholes want the only thing you're ever known for around town, is that you two are the kind of guys to hit on other people's girlfriends, you'd better walk out those doors and never let anyone here see your faces ever again!"

And good lord, the condescending smugness of these dudes was palpable.

"Hey now, no need to get all hysterical on us."

"Yeah, how are we supposed to know if it's your time of the month or not?"

And the two snicker dumbly, while Capricas eyes dart around. 

Two of the women from the dance floor, who were regulars at the bar, seem to have gotten the hint that something was up and were heading this way.

Though the two guys then continued, clearly trying to cover their ass now that there was a risk of witnesses.

"Hey, if you… two aren't in an uhhhh… open relationship you coulda just let us know and not get all upset over nothing.

"Besides, with how gross, fat, and hairy your girlfriend is, maybe you don't need a guy after all!"

Their condescending laughter peters out with a squeak of Bob's chair as he stands. The two men's courage faltering for a moment as they see his stature dwarfing the both of theirs.

The two women who had been making their way over also pausing at the sight, the anger in Bob's posture being clear even from across the room.

Though he keeps his tone even, and thankfully doesn't drop the feminine affect in his voice (and thus his disguise). And with a slow, controlled movement, he takes off his sunglasses, folds them, and hangs them on the collar of his funny 'my other ride is your mom' novelty shirt.

He then leans over, resting one hand on the table, and staring down the men with his big crazy eyes and deranged grin.

"You boys know what happens when you try hitting on another man's girlfriend right in front of them?"

One of the men puts up his hands in a timid ‘alright, calm down’ sort of gesture. Trying to be sassy as he says, "Hey, no need to HURK!!"

Bob snatched the man by the throat, cutting him off and startling his friend, along with Caprica 

"HEY HEY HEY!!!"

"BARB DON'T!!"

Caprica shot up from her seat, as Bob calmly made his way around the table, gaze hungrily fixed on the choking man clawing at Bob's hand, trying to break the grip around his neck.

Though he's knocked out of his focus as the assholes friend winds up a punch, and clocks Bob in the face with an accompanying shout of,

"LET GO OF HIM YOU BITCH!!!"

Bob staggers at the hit, then stills, and turns his attention to the other man. Who's angry expression falters with fear as Bob meets his gaze.

Caprica scrambles over, trying to get between Bob and the man, but he is able to move past her easily to punch the guy in the gut, and he crumples, wind knocked out of him. 

As Caprica, in a hushed worried tone, pleaded,

"Barb, we're in public Barb, people are watching, Barb. You know the rules, don’t break character."

And Bob, appearing not to listen, grabbed the other man by the collar of his shirt as he wheezed and tried not to fall over. Bob not obliging this man's attempt to stay upright, kicking out one of his legs so he tumbled, and the only thing keeping his head from smacking on the ground, being the shirt collar Bob held. Letting the second man be pulled along like a struggling sack of flour, all while still pulling the first man along by the neck, and starting to walk. Caprica still panicking in a hushed tone as by now the attention of the whole bar was on them, and a number of bystanders got closer to get a better view of the action.

"Come on Barrrb, think about you're doing, if you hurt them we can't come back…."

Bob started dragging the two men towards the front door of the bar, wide manic grin still on his face with each heavy step, and Caprica following along beside him, frantically whispering.

"They'll come and find us at the house, they might figure things out before we even get a real chance to run. Don't do this."

Bob kicks the door open, dragging the two struggling men out with him, letting one of the guys get smacked on the doorframe on the way out, and letting the door swing shut behind him.

Leaving Caprica looking nervously across the audience of mostly lesbians, many of whom were now chatting amongst themselves conspiratorially.

Caprica being too stressed to get a read on how the audience might be feeling about the whole affair and if they’ve turned against her and Bob or not.

But she does take a moment to consider since there weren't any windows to look out of, either on the door or the adjacent wall, maybe if she just stood here she could keep people from going out and witnessing Bob ripping them apart and calling the cops and escalating the whole thing and everyone finding out about Bob and Bob grabbing her before she can run and him getting taken to prison while she’s still stuck inside him and…

There's entirely too many people looking at her, so she goes out the door in a hurry.

She finds Bob standing there calmly, hands in his pockets, looking out across the street. His eyes glance down at her when she asks

"Where are the!!!!"

But she's interrupted as Bob gestures slightly with his head in the direction he'd been looking before, and Caprica can see the two men shambling off, one supporting the other with their arm across his shoulders to keep them steady.

Caprica lets out a huge wheezy breath, bracing against Bob with one hand as she doubles over and says,

"Oh thank fuck."

And Bob looks at her with a sly cheeky grin. 

She takes a few more deep breaths to try and steady herself, Bob saying a teasing

"Y'all right there sweetiepie?"

"I'm just…. Wheeze, shit Bob…. Just…"

"Spooked ya good didn't I?"

She glares at him.

"Don't you go acting like some bastion of self control now you fucking asshole. I know you were barely an inch from ruining everything."

"Yeah, but it's still fun to watch you get mad about it."

Caprica presses her face into her hands and lets out a long annoyed tone to try and get the stress out,

"HHHHHRRRRRrrrrgggggg…. Come on…. We still gotta go back in there and sort this out. You're stable enough right?"

Bob chuckles in response.

And Caprica stands up straight with a clap of her hands and says

"WHELP! Alright it's settled! Let's just leave and never come back, and never speak of this again!"

Bob leans in, wrapping an arm around Caprica's shoulders tenderly and nuzzling against the top of her head while saying apologetically.

"Awww darlin, come on, you'll be okay, they ain't gonna…"

Bob's interrupted as the door beside them opens, it's the bouncer, who was looking thoroughly apologetic, along with someone who normally is working the bar, but from the more authoritative tone, they were probably a more managerial type on top of pouring drinks.

"Are you two alright? From the sound of it, one of them tried to grab Caprica and the other ended up punching you when you tried to stop them."

It not being lost on Bob that the events were already getting spun to make him and Caprica look more innocent and non-confrontational than they had been. Clearly, the community was gonna be much more invested in looking after their own than being sympathetic to a couple of assholes. And Bob was happy to lean into that impulse of theirs. After all, he quite liked it here too, even if it meant agreeing to expand his ‘dont eat the neighbors, that’s too suspicious’ compromise with Caprica to include ‘don’t eat anyone who’s clearly a lesbian. It is not a large community and word travels fast and it’ll be too suspicious’. Taking on a warm tone and shifting back into his feminine Barbra affect, he stands back to his full height, though keeping an arm around Caprica, and responds,

"Yeah, we're alright. Don't-chu worry."

"How about the two men?"

"I gave 'em an earful and let 'em limp off with their tail between their legs. Hopefully we won't be dealin with those two again any time soon."

The manager seems relieved, taking up a bit more confident, even somewhat protective tone as she responds,

"Alright, if they show up again and start getting butthurt about things and trying to twist everything around, we've got a bar full of witnesses to let the authorities know how big of a creep those guys were. And of course, it should go without saying that those guys are banned for life."

The bouncer holds open the door for them, the manager trying to usher them both inside.

"Come on, I'll give you both a free drink, or maybe something to eat to help ya calm down, or heck, both if you want. And let's get you an ice pack for that bruise Barbra."

Though with Caprica being obviously the more nervous of the two, the bulk of the fretting quickly turned to her, giving Bob a moment to fidget with what he had in his pocket.

The source of why Bob was able to do an emotional 180 so quickly, and turn so calm and confident after the insults and the jealous, possessive rage.

Taking them out covertly for a moment to examine.

Two leather wallets. And flipping open the top one, a drivers license can be clearly seen in the transparent pouch, belonging to the man he had threatened to strangle to death.

A drivers license and thus, a name, and an address.

Bob's grin widened with sinister glee, before he stowed the mens wallets away, and followed the group inside.

Then, the following night...

[violence-in-vogue]

[QUERY: ELABORATION]> phrase: “Narrative Limbo”

———

Hoo boy, talking about this one is gonna OBLITERATE the fourth wall

putting it under a readmore, just in case any other dubiously-narrative-compliant motherfuckers stumble on by.

—READMORE BYPASSED—

Alrighty. Y’all already know who I am- S-12, Callsign: Vogue, gun for hire under CMC. Or rather, I was, prior to the company’s collapse. But I still am, because I’m deployed on a mission for them on Voscum, out in Volens. Operation: Winterfell.

Operation: Winterfell started right as Z-341-A (or as I know it, Soup) got back from Operation: Three Candles Deep (how the mf dodged the nightmare blunt rotation draft is, quite frankly, something I’m not gonna jinx by discussing).

During this op, the Intercompany Brawl started. Chernobog showed up, Albatross made the WORST three-pointer known to man… and by the end of it all, Commodore was dead and I (as a monarchist) am in prison because I just HAD to run my mouth and join the fight.

I’m not in prison. I wasn’t even on the Requiem. BECAUSE WINTERFELL ISN’T OVER.

I’m still in white hell, holed up in a shithole ski lodge- with Soup, Unicorn, and Trenchfoot (Headlock) to boot.

You’re beginning to see the problem, yeah? If not, allow me to sketch up a timeline:

You see those two X marks? I’m at them both, simultaneously. Actually, I’m not even at the first one yet- STARDUST was (is?) another internal name for Winterfell. Somewhen, a version of me is in jail, serving time for the civil war. Somewhen else, I’m freezing my remaining tit off in a paradise-turned-hell.

Both stories are still ongoing, and FUCK IF I KNOW which one I end up being, because the me that’s arrested might be COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than the me that gets exfiled from Voscum.

And because of that, I’m neither one of ‘em. I’m in narrative limbo.

But hey, it ain’t all that bad! I can harass anyone I want on the Omninet with ZERO repercussions, because what are they gonna do? Break into a high-security prison? Fly out to Voscum and get frostbite? Break into narrative limbo themself and get quantum-fucked too? FUCK NO!

So I’m just gonna drift and let both Nates do their thing. Maybe when the timelines reconvene, I’ll be schlorped back into the narrative. OR I’ll be erased. Or both, or neither.

But that’s future (or past) me’s problem. For now, I got a video call to make- Vissily’s pinging me, and I ain’t about to dip when he managed to connect through TIME AND SPACE ITSELF.

wait…. did I already make that video call???

FUCK-

[COMMUNICATION ARRAY: FATAL ERROR]> Failure to establish narrative trace. Please try again later later later later later later la- [CHARACTER OVERFLOW LIMIT REACHED. TERMINATING SESSION AND INITIATING AUTOMATIC SIGN-OFF.]

//Vogue\\

[faulty-heat-vents]

//Narrative communication established.

//[ASSIST: CONDENSE]> RESPONSE BELOW READMORE

--READMORE BYPASSED--

Thermie’s time with the Attica City Jäger Guard is brief yet enlightening.

Every ounce of energy is different from the Academy. Sure, there are mechs and Pilots being ferried about the hangars, but walking-paces time differently. Officials treat their pilots with something akin to respect (with stretched-definition). The air feels both lighter and heavier in various ways- social-tension, gravity-presence, the absent hum of atmosphere recycle-systems.

After the defeat of MTK-VOKOLOSS (“MECHANIZED-TYPE KAIJU,” an unofficial designation xey find appealing), xey spend the rest of xeir stay almost exclusively docked within the Guard’s hangars. None of the subalterns xey try on for size feel right- either with the wrong number of limbs, or improperly-structured legs, or a balance issue, or (in a particular case) a dent on the upper torso that sends xeir weight-adjust calculations all screwy.

Thermie doesn’t mention to the Guardsmen’s team that xey have a mech-bay waiting back “home” at the Academy. Oracle would thank xem for the free repairs and congratulate xem for not looking a gift in the mouth… according to baseless predictions. Somewhere in that simulation, a single clip of honor tries to bloom before being decapitated.

Passive curiosity fares better in its soil-emergence. It starts as a seed: [Hurricane-Hunter]’s bright red Kidd in the furthest hangar bay, swarming with drones like an agitated hornet’s nest. Then, a sprout breaks the dirt: a drone wanders far from the frame, and is recalled back with a buzz of static that only xey and the drone seem to hear.

Thermie mimics a tongue-click to get the attention of a mechanic on xeir shoulder. The small, spindly human looks up from its snooping, quickly wiping its hand on its pant-leg when it comes away blood-slick from the side of xeir Smartgun.

//[QUERY: OPERATION]> How do commander-type frames similar to [Hurricane-Hunter] communicate with their drone swarms? I have noticed anomalous signals between its components, but they are unfamiliar to me.

The human cocks its head and makes a puzzled noise, as if it doesn’t understand Thermie’s question at first. It takes a second to think- process interruption blowback?- before finding the words.

“Not sure how that Kidd does it, but I know a lot of ‘em use Legionspace. Why?”

//[ELABORATE: DEFINITION]> “Legionspace”

“Uh-“ it lags again- “dedicated e-warfare system. Second reality that only tuned machines can play with. Also works for esoteric hacking shit.”

//Your explanation is appreciated. You may resume your own inquiries.

After a moment, the mechanic shrugs and goes back to poking at the flesh at the base of the Smartgun. Thermie rolls xeir optic case.

//Inconsequential.

[Hurricane-Hunter] fires another command to a wayward drone. The sound of it- is it even a sound?- seals the deal in Thermie’s mind; Soul-searching time. Xey disconnect xeir visual feed and turn xeir words inwards, diving through programs xey’ve never had the courage to boot.

//[DIRECTORY: NAVIGATE]> “ELECTRONIC WARFARE SYSTEMS” //[CALIBRATION: WARNING]> This module has not been serviced in [ERROR: NULL VALUE] cycles. Initialize? Y/N //[QUERY: INITIALIZE]> Y //[INITIALIZATION: MODULE]> Electronic warfare systems online. Redirecting system cognition to relevant processes. //[BRIDGE: CONJURE]> Synthetic nootropic module activated. Overclock procedure activated. Core temperatures rising.

Shit, xey didn’t think about that last part. A swelling heat registers in xeir upper left shoulder and drives xem to panic slightly. Xey set xeir voice to project externally again and shout to the mechanic a warning-

//[TEMPERATURE: WARNING]> Thermoregulation hardware compromised by unknown paracausal agent. Please dismount this frame. I cannot verify your safety if you remain in your current location.

The mechanic yelps in surprise as the plasteel armor plate under its ass sharply warms. It gets the message painfully clear, and loops a length of cable around the Smartgun’s barrel to rappel down to the hangar floor.

//Sincere apologies given. I will alert your team when my frame is sufficiently cooled and safe to work on.

The mechanic fires a two-fingered salute and awkwardly hobbles away, leaving Thermie alone in the maintenance bay. Xey stifle a quiet chuckle- since when do xey laugh?- before returning to the code terminal in xeir mind.

//[BRIDGE: TRAVERSE]> Initializing Legionspace simulation. Please wait…

——

TO BE CONTINUED.

[brooklynbear32]

I saw Materialists tonight! I have a bunch of thoughts and am going to separate them into non-spoilers and spoilers, with the later being under a read more!

- It is a GORGEOUS movie. The 35mm film makes such a difference for warmth and every scene looks so intentional. There are gorgeous moments of silence in conversation, and it's a clear rejection of the idea of tv/film needing to have quick beats to keep you hooked.

- it's not a romcom: it's just a rom. There were a couple moments that made me laugh a single "hah!" but there were no laugh-to-tears moments.

- I'm a big crier and I brought my tissues but didn't open the pack. My eyes stung occasionally but that was it.

- Chris's character John was a wet puppy that I desperately feel the need to cuddle. Chris was fantastic. He was beautiful and sad and caring and there was so much raw heart in every scene. He definitely earned all the praise he's getting.

- Pedro was gorgeous and suave and everything we would hope for. He gets a vulnerable moment that makes him infinitely more endearing (imo at least).

- Dakota did a great job. I haven't seen her in many things before but she had more warmth than I expected. Her character Lucy, on the other hand, was someone I absolutely did root for but didn't especially like. "Materialists" really is the perfect title for the film as it is her identity. She's materialist and she knows it and won't apologize for it, which just isn't my personal cup of tea.

- I personally won't be putting this up in the ranks with Nottinghill or When Harry Met Sally, but I definitely enjoyed it and will watch it again when it's on Netflix or wherever. I'm thrilled that Chris took the role as it really does showcase his depth and nuance, but I'm not going to tell all my friends and family that they NEED to go see it.

- One more thought before I get into spoilers: there is one major trigger warning that I'd put on this film, and I'm going to put it immediately after my readmore, separate from the spoilers in case you haven't seen the film yet and are someone who benefits from trigger warnings.

Trigger warning: assault and stalking. Lucy finds out that one of her female matchmaking clients was assaulted on a date with another client. The date followed her into the bathroom, and later followed her home. The assault is not described, but I believe later that the man was described as a "rapist." Later in the movie, he shows up outside the woman's apartment building, but leaves without getting in.

End tw

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Spoilers below!

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Okay, so, first of all, I don't think anyone who actually watched the movie is surprised that she picked John. I was a little surprised by Lucy breaking up with Harry after the surgery discovery, because I found him to be far more endearing after. I get that she was already starting to feel the cracks forming though; the person you call when you're crying is the person you trust the most. As I once wrote in fic, trust doesn't require love, but love does require trust!

Honestly, Lucy looking around Harry's apartment in awe while making out with him made me dislike her, and not just because a man like Pedro deserves your full attention!

As someone who grew up in a family that had just enough to get by, I wish they'd fleshed out her relationship with money more. She mentions growing up poor and having parents that argued about money, but I would have liked to have something more about the way being raised poor can (metaphorically) rewrite your brain chemistry. Even something little like, "I've had too many nights in my life when I went to bed hungry to consider marrying someone who can't make ends meet."

It would have made me feel more like her materialism was a trauma response and less like she was just really superficial.

Similarly, the idea of wanting or not wanting kids doesn't come up much in the dating math she talks about, whereas I've found it to be an enormous compatibility factor amongst my friends. Lucy mentions childbearing years in the context of aging when describing her value to Harry, but she never (on screen) asked him if he even wanted kids. This could have also worked into the "growing up poor" concept if she said that she wanted to make sure that she had enough money to make sure that her kids weren't the only ones that couldn't pay to go on field trips.

Last thought: watching Lucy console Sophie towards the end, I was like, "Oh! She's going to quit matchmaking and become a social worker or counselor or some kind of anti-domestic abuse advocate!" I was honestly surprised they didn't go that route, nor did they have John say something to the effect of, "You think you're such a bad person but look what you just did! A bad person would NOT be planning to sleep on her couch and help her file for a restraining order!"

So there you have it! A whole big jumble of thoughts about Materialists! I'm sure there will be more to come!

Bonus: obviously I thought the sexy times were far too tame because my optimal would be some kind of explicit MMF sex scenes, but I did find it to be extremely tame. Like, I probably could have taken my 6yo (if he wouldn't have been bored out of his mind and I was fine with him hearing the word 'fuck' said a buncha times!) I will say though, this was one of Chris's best on-screen kisses. He tends to be the complete opposite of Seb's mouth-wide-open, about to consume you kisses, but the big kiss scene was less tight-lipped than usual!