#(like seriously dude we have it handled you don’t need to tag along)

[feitanswife]

Also

Clavell: hello I came to deliver your paperwork, I’m sorry for forgetting to send it

My mom, who had no idea this guy was even coming over: Paige go get ready for school I have things I need to talk with the director about

I see you mom. And I don’t blame you one bit.

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

IMDB BLURB:  In 1957, Indiana Jones becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls.

WARNINGS: Adventure violence and scary imagery

RATING: One Shia LaBeouf orange juice commercial

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: Okay here we are, gonna watch Indiana Jones and the crystal skulls. The fourth and arguably the worst of the series, but I actually like it. I don't think its any worse or campier than the other movies.

Biscuits: Dib is joining us. We saw this in the theater! I actually remember this one better than the other ones, which we've been rewatching, but we wanted to review this one because it’s bad. We might’ve reviewed the new new one but it’s only in theaters right now. Also, my tumbler makes very nice asmr sounds :)

Dib: I don't remember anything but Shia LeBeouf and aliens.

B: I forgot Harrison Ford was like, hot in the old Indiana Jones movies. ‘Adventure violence and scary imagery’, I love that for us. Harrison Ford is in this as an old man.

M: He still kicks ass as an old man so... We open on a rousing car chase.

B: This movie happens in the 50's, they have to make sure we know that by having Elvis music and these kids in their very obvious 50′s getup.

M: The kids are trying to get the Nazi dudes to race them and they do for some reason.

B: No those are U.S. dudes.

M: My bad, they're racing our dudes right to a nuclear test site! No, those are definitely Nazi guys.

D: Does this movie just look this crusty?

B: I don't know why they went through all the trouble of disguising themselves as Americans when they just straight-up shoot the army guys. They’ve got a guy in their trunk, it's Indiana Jones. And some other guy.

M: They're actually Russians apparently. I can't keep track of all these bad guys.

B: Cate Blanchett is in this movie too! She's the main bad guy. These guys have really great Russian accents.

M: They need Indy to go into the really special American warehouse where they keep all the really important artifacts and find the alien.

D: Cate's hair is giving serious Edna Mode vibes.

B: You right, you right.

No capes!

M: Her accent is...awful. She thinks she's psychic or something. Or wants to be.

D: This IS area 51. In a big warehouse in Nevada.

B: Where they put the ark of the covenant in the first movie!

M: I didn't think area 51 existed then but okay. (we googled it and yes it did, it just wasn’t really known as like the ‘alien place’ back then)

B: He doesn't remember anything! He's 85! Also, the ark of the fucking covenant is in here! You could take literally anything else and it would probably be a pretty effective superweapon! Why do you need the alien???

M: Indy needs gunpowder to find the alien so he throws it in the air and it floats straight to the alien and doesn't need to obey gravity or anything.

B: The lamps or guns or swords aren't affected though.

D: Maybe it's stainless steel.

B: Who makes a fucking sword out of non-ferrous metal???

M: The magnetic field is very picky. They found the box tho and suddenly the crowbars are affected but not guns or anything.

D: Non-ferrous guns. Or pins or buttons or anything.

B: But now her sword is magnetic, and their dog tags, and their guns...

D: They're gonna put that in a car? Engines and magnets don't really get along.

M: So they get it open and it's an alien, no spoilers though. Irina (cate blanchett) is really excited. Indy tries to take out the Russians but his sidekick guy Mac turns on him and is apparently working for the Russians because money.

B: Why is she sometimes British?? Oh it’s because Cate Blanchett is British. Indy manages to drop the gun so perfectly that it shoots a guy in the foot and creates instant panic. The Soviets kinda suck at their jobs.

D: They did suck at their jobs!

B: They're just gonna drive around destroying all these priceless artifacts! All those boxes were empty apparently. I'm gonna have to go on a aliens rant at some point. I remember seeing this as a child and thinking...that's dumb.

D: That's the ark of the covenant!

B: To quote Griffin McElroy - I don't get a dinosaur. I know they found like crazy shit like the holy grail but that's at least grounded in some sort of real-world mythology or theology but aliens??

D: I think the Dial of Destiny is just something they made up. The second movie took a pretty hard left turn too with the stones.

B: But to connect all this to crystal skulls?

M: I don't think that's that weird tbh. They've always been a source of weirdo mysticism.

B: But they're not...real. I mean like, they’re real things that exist, but they’re not actual Mesoamerican artifacts. Whatever, Ancient Aliens type vibe.

M: Anyway....Indiana Jones got thrown through a window, and he landed on some nuclear control panel with a giant Russian guy.

D: He's mostly getting his ass beat.

M: He does that a lot.

B: One thing you gotta give Indy, he can take a beating!

M: Indy and the Russian get sent on a rocket test thinger and now they're all dizzy and trying to kick each other's asses still.

D: That was a lot of g force, to be fair.

B: And Indy hides behind a dune and the Russian guys just can't find him. Indiana is very sweaty already. The sweatiest man alive.

M: Indy is hiding out in a nuclear test site which he thinks is a real town initially until he realizes everyone is mannequins. Oh that's bad.

D: I don't think people knew what these were back in the day - but they did know what an air raid siren was.

M: Indy at least knows it's not good! The Russians do too though and they are outski.

B: And he survives by a hiding in a fridge.

M: They were lead lined back then!

D: There goes the entire budget. Also Indiana Jones is dead as shit. If he survived the blast he would not have survived the radiation.

B: Don't run towards the mushroom cloud! Didn't you ever watch Duck and Cover?? Wasn’t that like mandatory viewing back in the day??

Damn the intro to Fallout 4 looking different than I remember.

M: They do treat him for radiation, he's getting a good scrub down in an American....place... where he's being interrogated about his two timing buddy Mac.

B: Aliens, nuclear warfare, it does fit the vibe of the 1950's.

M: Indy somehow, despite having been there (at fucking Roswell btw) doesn't know what was in the box.

B: This is my favorite episode of X files.

M: The FBI or CIA or whatever think Indy is a spy, because we need more drama. Indy is back at college teaching his classes which he's been doing for 800 years.

B: This is exactly that scene from the first movie.

M: Except he's about to get fired, but Jim Broadbent is gonna try and talk him down though. Charlie is his name in the movie. I don't see how him resigning is gonna help Indy tho. Indy is gonna go to somewhere and get another job. Charlie bemoans the state of society.

D: What's happening?

B: His dad was Sean Connery, was he dead by the time this came out?

M: Yes. (Editor’s note: No he wasn’t. He died in 2020. Please don’t ever listen to anything Munch says.)

B: Oh yeah Shia LeBeouf is in this movie -  an even bigger leap than aliens. Also he looks like James Dean. Dib is right about the lighting, it makes the movie look so cheap. This whole scene looks like a goddamn orange juice commercial.

M: Mutt (Shia) runs down Indy and is like HEY DO YOU KNOW ABOUT OXLEY HE HAD A CRYSTAL SKULL AND HE'S MISSING. And Indy is like, oh shit Akator?

B: The Mitchell-Hedges skull is fake af but I guess we didn't know that in the 50's.

D: This movie is boring.

B: I think Indy is making things up at this point. Akator, city of gold, all this nonsense. He doesn’t believe in any of it but come on man, you found the ark of the covenant!!! Shia LaBeouf is...not a very good actor.

M: Mutt seems kinda put down that Indy is just a teacher because he needs someone to rescue his Mom but now there's KGB agents coming for them. They want the letter with all the important stuff on it that Mutt gave Indy because somehow they know about all this already. Mutt and Indy start a fight.

When in doubt, punch a guy!

B: That's his solution to everything, start a fight.

M: To be fair, it seems to work every time.

B: We gotta have another rousing vehicle chase, these movies love a car chase.

M: Bring me a sugar cookie.

D: Indy just got dragged like hell into the backseat there. Nobody calls the police, I guess they didn't have cell phones and shit but nobody alerts the authorities?

M: I don't know, they're busy. Indy and Mutt drive through an anti-communist rally and the KGB dudes run into a statue. Now they're gonna drive through a library because it looks cool and so Indy can deliver a one liner. Are you drinking more margarita?

B: I don't want it to go to waste! The amount of sugar in it is probably worse for me than the alcohol.

M: Indy is now deciphering the letter which is written in Koihoma, because Indy knows like 8000 languages. Indy says it's a riddle from Oxley.

B: The lines in the earth only gods can read would be the Nazca lines.

M: You get an A.

D: Only gods can read. Or planes. I guess the KGB guys left them alone so they could get to Peru.

B: I like how they stopped over in Cuba.

M: They land over in Peru I guess, and find out Oxley was there but they thought he was bonkers so they locked him up. Indy apparently rode with Pancho Villa.

B: Mutt's mom thinks he's a goof! Sorry ma, I goofed up!

D: There's a bad guy, you can tell he's bad because he's smoking

M: They go visit Oxley's uh... cell in the sanitarium and find a lot of scrawl about abliens and Akator and Mutt is sad

D; Why does Shia look like he's gonna cry?

M: He's sad! Ox was like his dad.

B: He just looks like he got maced.

M: Indy does a quick sweepy and finds a map on the floor that Ox left leading to the cradle of Orellana where he died, or whatever...?

B: They really are throwing in any sort of myth or weird thing they can think of related to Mesoamerica or South America. Not a lot of action so far, mostly like solving puzzles.

D; You can infer all of that from some scrawl? I guess so because here we are at this Dark Souls location all of the sudden.

M: Indy and Mutt transition to the death place of the conquistador that nobody has ever found except apparently Oxley.

B: There's some spooky guys in Party City skeleton masks, and Shia falls down a ladder.

D: I need a gif of that in my life. Here comes the screaming skeleton dude, he knows kung fu apparently. They have magic holes they can crawl through apparently.

B: Indy reverse blow darts a guy, brutal.

D: You're a teacher? Not anymore! He just got fired!

M: I guess they're all gone now so on with the looting.

D: Crit success on the perception check for Indy.

B: These movies are basically Dnd campaigns anyway. Oh no, scorpions!

D: Here I am.....

B: *laughs* Rock you like a hurricane!

M: Indy and Mutt find some elongated head skulls and Indy is like well they did head binding which is true. Indy makes another amazing perception check and lucks into a secret passage that leads directly to the perfectly preserved conquistadors.

D: What class is Indiana jones?

M: Rogue

D: Can rogues use whips?

B: I think so?

M: Indy tears open a wrapping and finds a perfectly preserved dude who immediately disintegrates, but then Mutt finds one that's open already and omfg its got THE CRYSTAL SKULL which looks like it's full of saran wrap. I love how random the magnetic effect of the skull is. It just works whenever it wants on whatever it wants to work on.

D: Indy drops the skull and it shatters into a million pieces, movie over. Thanks for the exposition, Mutt

So nice of the crystal show to finally show up in its own movie.

M: Indy thinks this must be the skull from Akator that Ox found and then brought back but he doesn't know WHY he brought it back.

B: Ox was like, oh shit crystal skulls are fake, back to the hole!

M: As per usual, the second Indy finds something, someone is there to take it from him. In this case, Mac and his Russian friends who take Indy and mutt back to their Russian torture camp and tie Indy to a chair to mess with his brains.

B: The conkwisstadors found a city of gold that Mac wants to find because he just wants money.

M: Cate Blanchett and her accent have returned

D: And just as quickly, it leaves!

B: Oppenheimer didn't make up that line, he quoted it - but Indy knows that! Because he's smart and cool

D: Stop assaulting Indiana jones here man, she's like groping him

Please send all your hot Indiana Jones x Irina Spalko fanfics to munchflower.tumblr.com ( please do, I’m really bored. - Munch )

B: Even Indiana Jones doesn't believe this alien bullshit, he's like oh come on. The aliens have crystal skeletons.

D: What makes them think if they find the alien city that the aliens are gonna be like - hey it's cool, you want a prize?

M: But here's Oxley played by John Hurt but he's not okay in the head. Just a little bananas. The Russians blame the skull for Ox's condition and want to use it on Indy so he can interpret Ox's madness. No really.

B: This is...a lot. I know the other movies were a lot but just being like, anyways aliens and psychic channels and it opens up an undeveloped part of the human mind and fucking WHAT? Am I actually watching Ancient Aliens right now?

D: There's been no action, this is dragging on forever.

B: This is also taking itself waaaay too seriously.

D: This was 2008, they weren't allowed to be campy anymore.

M: True, sadly. Anyway, here's some alien brainwashing with Indiana Jones.

B: The Russians want alien bones to control people's minds. I guess it's not that much weirder than Nazis wanting the ark of the covenant to take over the world. That's a fucking polygraph machine!

Tbf all a polygraph machine does is monitor your heart rate and shit

D: You ARE the father!

M: Cate gives a rousing speech about taking over the world.

D; Guided meditation with Cate Blanchett and an alien skull.

B: What direction did they give Harrison ford?? “Look like you’re being controlled by aliens and just kinda jiggle around for a while?” This movie is...worse than I remember.

M: Mutt tries to step in and Indy is like, go ahead and kill him idgaf - but now here’s Marion from the first movie!

B: Half this movie is just references to the first movie!

M: Indy is like, this is your fucking kid?? But Marion still kicks ass and she's not having it. Indy then goes and sits with Oxley and he's like, oh hey he's doing automatic writing which is obvious to literally nobody but Indy.

B: Ox is literally speaking in riddles. This movie is 90 percent solving riddles

M: Indy of course can magically decipher these automatic writing pictographs because he's just that smart.

B: Mutt has an "emotional" moment with Ox but it's not very good. Acting.

M: Indy is too excited about solving the riddles to realize he's helping the enemy. But Mutt has a plan, and it’s the classic indiana jones plan: start a fight.

B: He's learning. Also setting things on fire, they do that a lot in these movies too.

M: Indy and Marion and Ox all run away but quicksand.

B: Oh dude, oh fuck, quicksand! I don't know why I'm so excited about that. Actually it’s not quicksand, it's dry sand. Indy tells Ox to get help. From who, the Russians??

M: that's literally what Ox does tho. Marion tells Indy Mutt is his kid while they're slowly sinking into a sand pit and Mutt comes back with a giant snake instead of like...a vine or something and Indy is like uh...no I'll die.

B: Snakes aren’t slimy. That poor snake :(

D: It's not a real snake.

B: I know but....

What do you need alien skulls for? Just annihilate all your enemies with this fucking thing!

M: Ox shows back up with the Russians! And now they're driving through the fucking jungle in a car with a cowcatcher with blades on the front. Mutt and Marion have a bit of a fallout over the dad thing.

B: But Marion and Indy are gonna spend this whole time arguing which is honestly pretty in character.

M: Indy starts another fight because why not, and again it works and he and Mutt somehow get free to go start kicking Russian ass

B: That's a damn sharp switchblade Mutt has, cuts right through everything.

D: *laughs* The car is just jiggling while Indy beats people up

M: This car chase goes on forever.

D: That didn't destroy the engine?

M: They're Russian cars, they're built different. Indy doesn't ever get shot despite guns going off one foot away from him.

D; Cate might be psychic but she has terrible aim

M: Mutt finds one of Cate's swords so he can fence.

D: Indiana can take down a whole cavalcade of cars but then he can't punch out one guy?

M: Mac tries to tell Indy that he's actually a double or triple agent and he’s on Indy's side now but come on, why would you trust this guy?

B: They had that whole conversation about how Mutt used to fence, that's like a, y’know, Cosgrove's fish. Chekov's gun!

M: Biscuits is a little tipsy. Mutt is holding his own against Cate somehow while his mom gives him pointers. The skull makes a hollow ‘boing’ noise when it hits someone. People have changed cars like 30 times at this point.

B: A little goofy.

M: We haven't even gotten to the ants yet. Shia gets caught in some vines and then he literally Tarzans this shit back to the convoy. No really.

Shia LaBeouf has returned to monke

D: You can't kill them! The Russians need Oxley or they can't find the thing!! They need him!

B: Doctor Joanes. That was straight up British.

D: Monkeys! Get em monkeys! Monkeys are ruthless.

M: Now the ants. Giant killer ants, like you have in wherever they are in South America.

B: That's a really big ant.

M: I did say giant. Now Russian and American alike are about to be devoured by ants.

B: Ants are doggedly pursuing them, a literal fucking wave of ants. But then they get tackled as they’re fleeing the ants.

D: It's the part where Indy has to fight a huge guy and nearly lose but then not.

M: It's a staple.

B: But apparently the skulls psychic powers work on...ants....so ox is gonna keep them away.

D: PROTECTIVE SHIELD!

Activate alarm! Cannot approach!

M: The giant Russian is down! And it's ant time for him as they file into his face hole and carry him into their giant ant hill. and they're all gone now and no longer interested in anyone else. Back to the car chase!

D: So they're gonna rappel down the cliff

B: Marion is gonna drive off the cliff.

M: She does tho and lands perfectly on a branch that allows them to drive into the river and the branch snaps back up and kills like four Russians, because movie.

D: Good thing those vehicles are amphibious. I wanna go on this Disneyland ride.

M: They go over a waterfall but there's actually three fucking waterfalls and somehow they keep landing in the boat and not losing the skull or their lives.

D: How many licks does it take to get to the center of Akator??

B: Good thing the water they landed in is also shallow enough for them to stand up in.

M: Indy is like, I'll take the skull the rest of the way because the skull told me to but I guess you guys can come too. Now they're inside the fucking stone skull cave at the bottom of the waterfalls and there's a giant temple full of weird paintings.

B: For real, Ancient Aliens type beat. The aliens taught them irrigation and farming and shit.

M: I understand Ox...someone came. *no comment*

B: All of the aliens will...come

M: Why do they assume those are aliens?? They found skeletons with elongated skulls earlier that were human so why are these definitely not human?

B: Because they're in the alien place?

D: Wait, where did these people come from??? How did they get there??? HOW?

B: they were just hanging out, waiting for people to come so they could attack them and it would look cool for the movie.

M: The random natives are kicking everyone's ass but then Ox does the skull thing he did to the ants and they all are like oh shit and they leave.

B: The Russians are like - a tracking bug! We should go to the conspicuously skull shaped cave in the waterfall!

D: How does Cate even find these tracking devices? She doesn’t have a tracker, she’s just finding them on the ground?

M: How does Ox know how to get into the obelisk, he didn't do this part before.

B: The skull told him I guess. Saaaaaand.

M: They start breaking the faces off the obelisk and letting the sand out so it will go down and open the secret passage to the aliens?

B: This whole movie is a mcguffin. I know the other movies were all about mcguffins but this one is getting ridiculous.

D: Good thing they're all clean and dry still.

M: Why did the aliens put a spike trap inside the obelisk that leads to the aliens?

B: The people who worshipped them built it I guess, in case someone was trying to steal their artifacts, but they're actually trying to return one so....

M: Mac starts immediately stealing stuff because he's never been in an Indiana Jones movie before and doesn't realize that's BAD. Also mac is leaving more tracking devices because he's a quadruple agent.

D: He's a double triple quarter pound agent. The Russians just shot the natives.

B: There are artifacts from every early culture in here because the ALIENS WERE ARCHEOLOGISTS!

M: The skull starts humming, like you do, and Indy is like, I gotta press it into this hole and whammo the door will open.

B: The aliens just bonk their noggin into it to open it.

M: And now the alien room with the alien skeletons.

B: We built this city...they built it so they could sit around and just look cool in this room forever or fuck I don't know. They're aliens, god knows what they're doing. They're not dead, they're just like dormant.

Return the slab or suffer my curse...

M: But here's Cate and her accent again and she’s like, they're a hive mind!

B: How does she know this?

M: Who knows. She's gonna take the skull though and stick it back on the alien skeleton and it just shwoomps back on because magnets.

B: Look, Indy has seen things you have not seen, he's seen people get melted by artifacts, he's not gonna gamble with the aliens.

M: But Cate is! She demands to know everything the aliens know and well...she's gonna. The eye sockets of the skeletons start....smoking a little.

B: Oh yeah by the way...the temple is like...a fucking SPACESHIP or something, Oh my god.

M: Mac is still stealing stuff while the temple crumbles and the c-gen aliens start forming into a singular hive mind alien thinger.

B: ‘Inter-dimensional beings’, yeah whatever, they’re fucking aliens.

M: And there's a portal to another dimension

B: Back to their fucking home dimension or whatever, because we couldn't suspend our disbelief for SPACE aliens but if they’re just from another dimension it all makes sense.

M: Indy and the gang all get out and run away while Cate sees the universe through the eyes of the aliens until her head explodes. Indy tries to save Mac but alas...his greed kills him.

D: You asked for it, Cate

B: The alien looks kinda angy.

*dib and biscuits laugh*

B: And she disintegrates! Not in a cool gory way, her eyes just burn and she turns into dust. Get knowledged.

M: Indy and the gang somehow get propelled out of the temple by rising water and into the jungle.

D: God this movie looks so bad! The lighting and the c-gen looks so bad. and now the aliens are just gonna fuck off, I guess. Adios!

B: I must go, my planet needs me. Back to alien town. Indy just watches. Ox says some cryptic shit, ‘to the space between spaces’, what the fuck does that mean?? Their treasure wasn't gold, it was KNOWLEDGE!

M: Shia and Indy are like, WHY DIDN'T YOU LOVE ME DAD? Ox has also apparently been cured of his indefinite madness now.

B: I guess everything turned out alright in the end!

D: And he's fine and he's cleared with the CIA! Indy got his job back! I melted the KGB with science so it's all good.

M: Indy and Marion get married because of course they do,

B: Things didn't work out so well the first time but why not.

D: Lookit this happy little family.

M: They set it up like Shia is gonna take over the mantle but he doesn't. I'm tired of typing.This movie is stinky but I still like it. It’s very silly.

B:I forgor that this movie came out at a time when 3D movies were EVERYWHERE, like literally every movie was in 3D even if it didn’t need to be, and sometimes they tried so hard to shoehorn 'cool 3D moments’ into a movie so hard it was to the detriment of the movie. And so many of those exact scenes are in this movie, and they haven’t aged well.

D: Movie bad.

M: You don’t get much more concise than that. Munch and Biscuits (and sometimes Dib out, yo)

[buttsmasher]

This story is for @tyohlerrr. I think you'll really enjoy this one. He submitted a fucking sexy photo to go along with this story. Take a peak here.

Warnings/Tags: Face Farting, Farting, Gay Farting, Farting on Tongue, Willing Victim, Teasing, Musk, Musk Play

Today has been one of the roughest days since you’ve joined the army. You and Booker somehow pissed off your commanding officer again and were made to run until he told you stop.

“Yo Books.” You say as you jog next to your partner.

“Sup?” He keeps looking ahead, following the track with ease.

“Is your ass sweating as bad as mine right now?” Booker looks over at you and laughs.

“It’s probably worse man. That shit in the canteen is fucking with my guts.” Booker stops and lifts his leg up.

PFFFFFFFFFTTTT

Your heartbeat quickens, as you watch Booker get back to his previous speed. “Fuck man, sounds rough.” You joke trying not to let your mind wander.

“I’d hate to be behind me right now, the Booker brew is toxic.”

“I know, that’s why our barracks smells like shit all the time.”

PSSSSSSSSSSS

An airy fart hisses from him as he continues his jogging. “Fuck.” Booker huffs. “I’m telling ya man, once I’m on leave, I’m finding myself a pig slut and letting him go to town.”

“What?” You laugh confused.

“You ever had a fag eat out your hole?”

“I ain’t gay man.”

“I ain’t either. I’m just saying though, you get one of those piggy fags, hoo-wee. They know how to make you come just by using their tongues.” You stare at him briefly wondering if he knows your secret. When you’re about to pass Sarge you hear Booker let out another loud fart.

“God dammit Booker!” Sarge yells and you can’t help burst out in laughter. Booker reaches out for a fist bump, which you oblige.

“Good timing man!”

“You know I’m a pro.”

You go back to focus on your breathing and how fast you're moving when Booker surprises you: “I saw you sniffing my boxers.” You nearly trip over yourself as the realization of what he just said hits you.

“What are you talking about?” You feign.

“Two nights ago, when I went to shower.” Fuck he really did see you. “I saw you pick em off the ground and huff on them.”

“Sorry man, I-I don’t-”

“It’s no biggie man, I ain’t judging.”

“It’s just-”

“You’re a little piggy and you need to get my stink in you.” He interrupts again.

“Shut up.” You go to push him but he deflects you easily.

“Look if you want to sniff my drawers it’s cool. But I can probably offer you something better.” His mischievous smile intrigues you.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Let’s just say, when we get back-”

“Keep running maggots! Don’t slow down!” Sarge yells as you pass him again.

“I swear to god if I just had one day with him.” Booker balls his hands into a fist.

“When we get back what?” You can’t contain your excitement which makes Booker give you a smug smile. “Fuck.” You say realizing how you sound.

“So you horny-horny.” Booker laughs.

“Fuck off man! I like what I like.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be under my fat ass in no time. Hope you like rotten eggs.”

“I-I.” You stutter as you watch Booker pick up his pace and runs ahead of you. That’s when the scent hits you. You swear it smells like a skunk just sprayed someone and you cough as you fail to catch back up to him. “Fuckin’ hell man!” You yell and he gives his ass a smack while he keeps running.

After an hour and half of running, Sarge finally tells you to stop running and sends you back to your barracks where you find Booker. He’s standing there shirtless, sweat glistening off his body, and his ass is hanging out from his shorts. “Nice outfit.” You joke as you throw off your sweaty shirt.

“You think so? Thought I could wear it out tonight.” He quips as he uses his hands to jiggle his ass. You shake your head as you pull off your boots. “You think you can handle this?”

“Hell yeah, your ass ain’t anything special.”

“Oh we’ll see about that.” He pushes you onto your bed and sits down on your stomach. “I kept it nice and ripe for you piggy.” He drags his bare ass up your body and then slowly back down.

“I ain’t no piggy.” You use your hands to grab ahold of his buttcheeks.

“You will be after I’m done.” You pull his cheeks apart to be gifted with a short airy fart.

PFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT

The warm gust of air escapes from his ass blowing across your exposed stomach, making you shiver. “You like that?” He gives you the cockiest grin you’ve ever seen.

“Stop teasing man.” You groan.

“Just warnin’ ya, I’m gassy as fuck!”

“Like I just said, your ass ain’t special.”

“Aight then.” He laughs as he twists around to plant his bubble butt right on your face. It’s musky as hell and much, much better than his boxers. You take some deep breaths as he squirms around to get comfortable. “Just remember you wanted this.” His hole gets into place right against your waiting.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

An airy fart gets blown against your nose smelling like that rotten fart he let earlier. It’s extremely overwhelming and you’re immediately seeing stars.

“Fuck man!” You cough out. “That’s rank!” You pull away slightly but he uses the opportunity to push your head so it’s trapped between his ass and the bed.

“I told ya! Didn’t wanna listen.” He pulls off his shorts completely to let his dick free. Your mind goes to the same place and you attempt to pull your sweats down over your now hard cock.

PFFFFFFFFFFFF

Another quiet and airy fart gets blown across your ready face and you let out a loud moan as you take a large inhale. It smells like rotten eggs and old meat. “Lunch ain’t sittin’ right, all the better for you huh?” Booker jokes as he shakes his ass on your face.

PFFFFBBBBRBRBRBRRRRR

“See, that was wet as fuck.” Booker laughs as you cough the wet fart down. You groan, but continue to keep sniffing loudly as you slowly stroke your hard cock.

“It smells great down here.” You struggle to get out. “This ain’t nothing.”

“You’re disgusting. To think I was holding all these in for you.” He hikes his leg a little higher.

PFFFFFFFBBFFFFFFTTT

“I mean, who actually enjoys this shit?” He laughs as you can feel him stroking his hard cock. The toxic fumes assault all of your senses making your eyes water and your nose burn. “Fuck that stinks.” He waves a hand in front of his face. “That’s worse than normal.”

“Yeah.” You agree as you struggle to hold back the bile that’s burning it’s way up your throat. “I love it.”

“You sound like you’re struggling down there. Need me to stop?” Booker says, concern in his voice. You remove your hand from your cock to wrap your arms around him so he doesn’t move.

“I’m fine. Give me more.”

“If you say so.” You move one of your hands back to your cock as the other pulls and squeezes his massive ass. A silent fart graces your nose making your eyes flutter as you take the rotten smell into your lungs.

“Fuck Books, you smell so good.” You can hear him laughing above you but he doesn’t say anything. And by the way he’s shaking he’s getting off on this as well. “Seriously man,” You take another large inhale. “You’re addicting.”

“Just admit it dude, you’re a piggy.”

“Not…*sniff* a piggy.” He laughs.

PFFFFFF PFFFFFFFF PFFFF

He breathes out a sigh of relief. “Can’t lie, feels good gettin’ all this out.”

“I bet.” You smack his large ass. “Let me eat you out.”

“Run that by me one more time.”

“Let me, eat your, oh so beautiful ass out.” You say mockingly.

“I don’t know piggy. It’s kinda dangerous down there, you sure you want your tongue near that?” You don’t even respond, you just swipe your tongue against his musky ass. “Oh fuck.” Booker moans above you as he grabs onto the bed for support. “Do that again.” You do as he says and his back arches even further.

PFFFFFFF

“Fuuck.” He groans as you struggle with the terrible taste he left on your tongue. “Okay, yeah, keep doin’ that.” You don’t argue, you just keep swiping your tongue on his dirty hole and every few swipes you poke your tongue into his ass. “Shit, we should’ve been doing this, uhhh, sooner.” His body is twitching above you. “I got a big one coming piggy. Fuck, get your tongue out” You can hear his stomach rumbling, but you refuse to pull your tongue out eager to get a taste.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTFFFTTTTTTT

The loud 15 second fart gets ripped right against your tongue and your mind goes haywire. The taste is god awful, making your thrash and attempting to push him off you. At the same time you can hear him groaning loudly as you feel him shooting his load all over your chest and stomach. You’re not far behind him cumming in your hands, shooting the largest load you think you’ve ever shot.

Immediately as you finish shooting everywhere, you start thrashing about again to get him off you. He gyrates his hips for a few moments until he notices that you’re not moving as much. He pulls off you and takes a look at you.

“Shit, are you okay?” You give him a thumbs up as you cough. “I think you’ve had enough.” He says helping you sit up from the bed.

“Fuck.” You manage to get out as you look at him. He just shakes his head and pulls his shorts back up.

“You’re fucked up man.”

“Yeah, probably.” His scent is lingering and you know you’re going to be tasting that ass for at least another day.

“You need a shower more than I do.” You punch his arm but he’s probably right.

“Told you I can take it.” You brag.

“Don’t push it. I have more in my tank.” Booker gives you a hard pat on the back.

PFFFBBBRRRRR

He makes an effort to fan the fart towards you and you just laugh. “See you in the shower?” You nod and follow him, where you get to play with his ass just a little more.

[itjazzbicch]

In Reality

Pairing: “Platinum” Max Caster x Fem Reader  

Summary: On television, Max Caster and the reader are enemies, but behind the scenes, they are actually the best of friends and whenever Max and the reader are in a mixed trios match, on the opposite teams, Max's tries to do his signature rap, but he can't do it to the reader, instead, professing his feelings...

Warnings:  SMUT! (18+ ONLY)

Requested by:  Anon (Whoever you are, I hope you enjoy!)

Word Count:  3364

Tag List: @demonqueen29​ @jessiebean00​ @new-zealand-chic​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @justamess44​ @thatpanpal​ @hungmanhorsecarriage​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​  @linziland13​ @yungbludjazz360​  

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF

"Dude, you're wrestling the Sydal brothers! You have to make some kind of yoga joke!" I giggled, helping my best friend, Max Caster write a part of his rap for his match tonight and this one had me very intrigued.

Max and I were enemies on television but behind the scenes, we were the closest duo back there! We were travel buddies, we worked out together, supported each other's hobbies outside of wrestling. We were the best of friends, without a doubt.

I wasn't sure if Max had begun to work on my part of the rap because tonight the match up was:

The Acclaimed and Britt Baker (weird combo in my opinion, but it made sense since she was my rival) versus Matt & Mike Sydal and myself.

"You're right! Definitely gotta get that in there," Max laughed with me, beginning to jot some things down.

"So, what are you going to say about me?" I asked curiously, a smile on my face because I wasn't trying to laugh.

"Now, that's a secret," Max smirked, smiling back at me.

"You seriously can't even tell me a line?" I groaned, seriously wanting to know, but he wasn't budging, shaking his head no.

"Our match is up next! You'll know soon," Max protested and I just gave up, rolling my eyes but laughing:

"Alright! Just take it easy on me!"

"Can't make any promises!" Max laughed, watching me when I began to walk away.

Our match was up next and I was actually honored to wrestling with Matt and Mike. They were veterans and legendary. Our wrestling styles were also very similar, so that made it even more exciting. They were already waiting for me whenever I got to the guerrilla and Matt welcomed me with a smile, saying:

"You ready for the night?"

"Always ready," I smiled, but growing silent whenever I heard Mike say:

"I heard you over there with your buddy, Max. I hope he doesn't try and roast you too bad, tonight."

We all actually laughed and Matt whispered:

"I already know what to expect from him so, I'm prepared."

"So am I," I sighed, "Honestly, we joke around a lot. If he didn't roast me, I'd actually be surprised."

While I was finishing my sentence, Matt's music hit and Mike when up the stairs, Matt following along when he said to me:

"See ya out there!"

I made my entrance like normal, the fans always ate it up and next was Britt, damn it was annoying. It didn't take long though for me to get excited, hearing the beat drop for Max's music.

"Yo, yo, yo!" Max yelled while walking through the tunnel.

I thought to myself, boy is this gonna be good and it was, hearing the lines I helped him with when Max began:

"Sydal Brother!

Every time you get in the ring, ya'll say namaste

But when we whoop your asses you'll be running away

No one cares about you two hippies

I should slap your asses back to the 1960's!"

It was so hard to sit in the ring and act disgusted meanwhile I wanted to laugh my ass off, but at the same time, I was also preparing myself, knowing I was next, Max pointing at me, saying:

"And Y/N, don't even get me started!

You, you-"

I was actually surprised this time. Max was stuck, stuttering, like he was nervous which I never saw from him. No one ever did, everyone trying to encourage him, I even heard Britt yell:

"Roast her, Max!"

But Max, he did something no one expected, going back to his rap:

"You know what, Y/N, I ain't even gonna lie

Every time I see you, I wanna make you mine.

You, you're better than all these girls

And all I ever wanted was to give you world

I know we're supposed to get in this ring and clash

But you and me? We are the perfect match!"

I began to naturally drift to the center of the ring and I really couldn't contain my emotions, holding my mouth for a moment, trying not cry and every began to cheer, clapping and smiling whenever Max finished with:

"This is a special moment, so everyone observe and watch me go get my girl!"

My arms were wide open while I watched Max hop into the ring, coming right at me with the best hug I ever received. There were few moments when I heard a big pop in this ring and this moment was one of them, everyone just go ballistic, whether if they liked us or not.

I couldn't hold back the tears whenever Max hugged me, but everything stopped, like slow motion, the noise dying down. The only thing I could feel was Max's hand holding the back of my head, looking into his gorgeous brown eyes before they closed, feeling the warmth of his soft lips whenever they met mine.

It was like fireworks were going haywire in my brain, passion being the thing that lit the fuse for them. Just the way Max had his arms around me, for the first time, feeling emotions from him that I never felt before and with the way he kissed me, I just knew that everything he said was true.

Whenever our lips parted, I finally snapped back into reality, seeing the ring and the crowd again while Max just pulled me into another hug, holding my head to his chest, looking down at me as he smiled:

"So, you gonna be my girl?"

"Why did you even ask? I am your girl," I giggled, smiling so hard when my head popped up, giving him another kiss.

Max kept his arm wrapped around my shoulder, yelling to Britt Baker:

"Ayo! Get over there with them hippies! Y/N is our partner!"

"What? You can't just change the match!" Britt yelled, trying to get in Max's face and that's when I stepped in.

Max was always a bit of an instigator, but this time, I didn't mind. Max and Anthony were on standby though whenever I got in Britt's face and said into a mic:

"You heard what my man said. Now get over there! Either way, I'm kicking your ass tonight!"

"Yeah! Get over there and catch this whoopin!" Max laughed, all of us watching whenever she just stopped trying and went to her corner while we went to ours.

Now, it was time to get in the zone and Anthony started out first with Mike. This was the first time I had ever team with Max and it was so hard to not smile and jump around to let out the excitement. It also took all my might to not get on Max and have a little match of our own. I was just on top of the world.

Our match was also a lot of fun. The only thing bothering me was that, Britt refused to be tagged in. She was abandoning her partners, which she would have done regardless of what side she was on. Max and Anthony had a tough time handle Matt and Mike.

At the climax of the match, Max just broke out of Matt's submission move, super-kicking him and they both collapsed. The only two people on the apron was Britt and myself.

"Come on, Max!" I yelled, stretching out my arm as far as possible.

Again, Britt abandon Matt, but Max made his tag to me. She had no choice but to get in here. Britt, of course, tried running away, but whenever she made it to the outside, right by the front of the ring, I ran against the ropes and hit her with a suicide dive, ramming her into the barricade, picked her up and threw her in the ring and that's when the real fun began.

Britt did have her moments where she was having the upper hand. At one point, I was almost put into her finisher, but she couldn't hook my other arm, which gave me an opportunity. Elbow after elbow, finally made her break her submission.

Matt and Mike tried getting back to the apron, to break up a pin if needed, but Max and Anthony were on it, taking them out while I was thinking on the top of my head, hitting her with a pump handle, flat-liner, planting her face in the mat and picking up the win.

As soon as that bell rang, Max came right at me, making me laugh as he about knocked me over. It was hands down, the best moment I ever had in that ring, Max and Anthony putting me up on each of their shoulders, raising me up high to celebrate.

Whenever we got backstage, that celebrating didn't stop. When we had open space, I just hugged Max again and we were both just so happy; Max spinning me around in his arms.

"I'm so happy you didn't show me the rap you had planned for me," I giggled, still raised up in his arms, looking down at him.

"If you want me to be honest," Max sighed, admitting, "That came off the top of my head. I could never talk about you in a bad way. It came straight from the heart."

"Max! I already cried enough tonight!" I whined, but smiling, making me laugh a little and I just wrapped my arms around his neck even tighter, laying my head on his shoulders, legs wrapping around his waist.

"You guys wanna call it a night?" Anthony suggested, we didn't have anything else to do truthfully.

"Wanna get out of here?" Max whispered to me, "Have some time to ourselves?"

"I would never pass that up," I cooed, kissing his cheek, "Just know though, I'm not letting you go."

Max just shook his head, smiling while patting my back, just listening and walking off to the locker room with me in his arms.

Backstage, we heard a lot about what happened out there and I was happy to hear a lot of sweet comments. We basically stole the show and both Max and Anthony agreed that I was now, officially, the third member of The Acclaimed.

I have always been the kind of person who couldn't contain their excitement and tonight, it was even worse, but also in the good way. I was shaking, jumping, squealing, just having the best night ever. Whenever Max and I got to the hotel, in our own room, I was still so excited, smiling whenever he came in and shut the door:

"So I am seriously apart of The Acclaimed?"

"Yes!" Max said for about the millionth time, laughing, "How many times are you gonna ask?"

"I'm sorry," I chuckled, admitting, "So much just happened tonight and I'm like, freaking out! I can't believe all of this!"

For once, it rarely happened, but Max got seriously, standing in front of me when he asked, "Why can't you believe it?"

"It-" I began, truly caught off guard, but I got serious too, admitting my true feelings, "I just can't believe that you feel the same way and you got to say it first. Telling the whole world. It's like a fairy tale dream and I'm living it."

"Dreams," Max sighed, stroking my cheek, "They do come true, baby."

"They do," I smiled, stroking his cheek too, "I'm so happy I don't have to keep dreaming anymore."

Just like in the ring, our lips clashed and it was even better. My knees seriously grew weak, shaking from anticipation, excitement wanting to grow, but moving through my body ever so slowly. When I wished in the ring that Max and I could just be one on one, that wish was coming true right in that moment.

I took a handful of his shirt, kissing him a bit harder and he understood the feelings steaming off of me, delivering that right back, picking up the tempo whenever he threw off his shirt, his hands unbuckling his pants while my shirt was gone next.

For a moment, we just stared at each other. By the way his chest was heaving, I could tell his heart was beating quick and hard, just like mine. Reality hitting me never felt so good, another hard kiss from Max finding my lips again, his strong arms picking me up by the thighs, wrapping them around his waist while he climbed onto the bed, laying me down softly.

While our kiss just grew even more intense, I pulled my shoulders in, my bra straps loose enough to fall down on their own. At the same time, Max spread my legs open wide, allowing himself to throw off his jeans.

A quick rush made my body shake a little, my blood running hot, growing whenever I felt his hard on hitting right at my clit, even through my tights I could feel it. It made me pick up the pace, sitting up, pulling away from our kiss when I whispered in a sexy tone:

"How about we get even, huh?"

The look in Max's eyes, I had never seen it before, laser focused while watching me kick off my tights and throwing my bra off the bed.

Slowly, he just looked me up and down, knowing that he liked what he saw, his cock growing even harder, it showing through his briefs, his erection making it tighter.

He liked it, so I gave him even more, bringing my legs together, smiling:

"What? You shy?"

Again, he just watched, following my every move while I threw off my panties next and finally, that's when he finally snapped back into place, smiling devilishly when he got off the bed, saying:

"Trust me, I'm not shy," At the same time, his briefs dropped to the floor and I definitely liked what I saw, a very impressive size, smiling hard again as he added, "I just can't get over how beautiful you are."

Max always knew how to make my heart flutter, my heart rate unstable at that point, but it never felt so good, it growing when I watched him crawl his way back up to, my legs naturally opening wide for him, eyes adjusting to the lighting quickly when he reached over to the left, turning off the lights.

I thought my blood was running hot? Max was like a human space heater, hands steaming hot and that alone gave me so much relaxation from the moment of contact, his hands covering and kneading at my breasts, feeling his hard, hot cock laying against me, his kiss leading from my lips down to my neck.

Each kiss on my neck was slow, his right hand falling down my side, picking me up a little by my lower back, taking a handful of my ass, keeping me in that position, holding it better once he took a hold of my thigh and I was left gasping, grabbing his shoulders quickly.

His crown began to push through and into me, the moisture taking a moment to hit, but even when it did, it was a lot, having me whine already.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Max asked quickly, noticing my reaction.

"No," I gasped quickly. He wasn't at all, I was just trying to focus on the feeling of being so full, "I just never felt this way before."

"Is that a good thing?" Max chuckled, smiling when I let my head fall back into the pillows, praising him already by saying:

"It's so damn good, baby."

"Good," Max whispered, kissing me softly, moving his hips a little more, feeding me some soft thrusts, working his way up so that eventually, our hips would meet.

That didn't take long, Max spreading my legs a little wider, which helped, sliding all the way in slowly and it made a deep moan fall from my lips, that same moan turning high pitched whenever I felt his crown go past my sweet spot and it felt amazing.

From the sounds of my moans, he knew that he was making me feel good, sitting up straight, my legs hooked around his button of his arms, dragging every inch down slowly, and putting it all back a little quicker, going deep just like last time.

"That feels good, huh?" Max smirked, squeezing my thighs hard once he did it again.

I just nodded my head, looking up at him for a moment while I murmured, "You found a new way to make me feel good and I love it."

"You love it?" He asked, picking up the pace and the feeling was so overwhelming, I could barely nod my head, overtaken by all the moans and noises that desperately needed to escape me.

Each thrust hitting my sweet spot, it jolted everyone one of my nerves, from my head to my toes, making me tremble a little, all the heat in my body growing hotter from how fast my blood was running, on top of Max's body heat.

Before I knew it, I was moaning out his name, more praising from those and just senseless babbles, my back arching hard from my nerves just searing my body. One of his hands found the arch of my back, pressing into it softly, his other hand keep him up a little, but our bodies still coming together.

We both could feel my walls spasming, clenching him so tight, my arms quickly wrapping around his neck, holding tightly because my body was just so close to losing all control. By keeping my hips up, he was sliding in so deep and with the quickened pace, it made my walls spasming even harder, signaling my orgasm.

"M-Max," I stuttered horribly, with the way he was moving, it was just hard to comprehend anything, only wanting to focus on all of the sweet, powerful pleasure.

"I'm here, baby," Max whispered in my ear, "You o-"

I didn't mean to cut him off, but even though he moved a bit slower in that moment, my whole body was in sensory overload, every part of me sensitive, his previous thrusts hitting my sweet spot multiple times because he was only pulling back a little, the soft impact also hitting my clit, making my body shudder, the heat in my body just dropping down, triggering me.

He knew the moment my hands latched onto his shoulders and I cried, "Max, oh my god, I'm cuming."

I could barely breathe, even Max having trouble trying to keep it together, letting out some groans whenever my walls just gave him a death grip, drenching us both.

Max actually helped me out by taking my hands, interlocking them with his and putting them above my head, it actually expanded my lungs, getting more air, but like always, he knew how to make me breathless.

His head was against mine, our noses nuzzling and he was still feeding me a few soft thrusts, but I paid close attention, even more overwhelmed whenever he cooed:

"Y/N, I love you."

My eyes opened slowly and he picked up his head to see mine, smiling when I whispered, "I love you too."

I was about ready to cry again, just hugging him, his head laying on my shoulder while he pinned his hips against mine, rocking back and forth a little, both of us breathing heavily when we felt another wave a heat that took us out.

Max literally just rocked my world, from the beginning of the night during the show till now, pulling me on top of him whenever he withdrew, falling back to lay down on the bed. I gladly took the cuddling invitation, placing my leg over him, cuddling up to his chest while he wrapped his arm around me.

"Max," I whispered softly, just looking at him in awe whenever he looked down to me, "I really love you."

Max rarely showed emotions out in the ring and on television but when it came to me, he didn't mind putting those walls down, wiping away a small tear that fell down my cheek when he cooed:

"I love you even more."

[badboyfriends]

Bets Against The Void c5

@petrichormeraki bet you forgot I even had this fic ! Thank you again for the gift that is Whitelist AU, which feels like a lifetime ago (For Tommy it was !)

Chapter 1 Here

Last Chapter Here

Next Chapter Here

and AO3 Crossposted!

Ask to tag and give me a headsup on any typos ! c!Tubbo in my interpretation is they/them and blind.

The Hobbit Hole was more than Tommy expected. Birch-and-spruce windows poked out throughout the hillside, a round entrance carefully carved from the wood. Poking his head inside, the blond’s eyes darted across the spruce-built interior skeptically.

“..Thanks.” Tommy halfhartedly grumble, pulling his hand off the entrance. He warily stepped in, his hand resting on the doorway entrance for a moment as he investigated for potential traps.

“You’re..Sure we can just- stay here?” Tubbo asked once more, their head turned back towards the dirty blond stood aside the messy front garden.

“Of course, I swear, I don’t need another place to hoard stuff! Chances are, I’ll only be out here if I finally get around to moving my villagers out of their old setup.”  The older brit confirmed once more, his tone light. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal. Promise.”

Hesitantly nodding, Tubbo offered an appreciative smile his way before they turned back towards Tommy. “How’s it looking, then, Big Man?” They hummed, tilting their head.

“Fuckin’ cool as shit-” He glanced around, apprehensively surveying the ground for any traps.

“It needs a bit of cleanin’ up,” Stress chirped, sending a lighthearted glare towards Grian as he stuck out his tongue with a snicker. “We’d all be happy to help.” She finished, with a warm smile.

Tubbo politely nodded. “I think we’ll handle it. Thank you, again.” They ran their hand over the wooden arc in the entrance.

Grian shook his head. “Really, don’t worry about it. Stay here. Get settled. Either of us may be over to check up. Across the lake’s my neighbor, Scar, who you might see. But he shouldn’t come around here.” 

With a bit of exasperation, ready to be left alone, Tommy wordlessly nodded as he bounced his leg. 

Clearing his throat, Grian nodded. “Alright, then we’ll be out. We’ll see you two soon. Cya, Stress, thanks for the help!” He dipped his head towards the short brunette, who grinned bubbly back.

“See ya! Bye, loves.” Stress cooed, before deploying her glowing skeletal wings and ascending off with a quick poof of smoke.

Instinctively when the item had come to her hand, Tommy had thrown his arms around Tubbo’s ears- an action that didn’t go unnoticed by the sandy brunett man.

Grian simply put his hands up pacifying, as Tubbo was shrunk back curled, shielded away from where the brief poof was. “They’re duds, almost all fireworks here are duds.” He had calmly spoke, his tone soft. “I’ll come back to check up on you guys soon, ‘n make sure you have the supplies you need. You have free reign of that base!” Were his parting words, before he trotted off into the woodland.

Tommy uncurled himself from Tubbo. “You good, Bigman?” The blond tilted his head.

“Yeah,” Tubbo chuckled halfheartedly. “It doesn’t really.. Scare me it just- it startles me? Hearing it? ‘Cause I don’t really have time to prepare myself for the noise..Even if it’s not the same as- the kind from. Then.” Their voice wavered for a moment, before they took a shuttering breath. “Yeah, I’m fine, Man.”

“..Mhm..Alright.  Well, this set-up is better than just ‘bout half the shit on’ the SMP.” Tommy diverted the subject, sweeping his foot over the top of the floor, watching the small streak it left beneath a thin coat of dust.

Tubbo tilted their head. “Really? It smells..Very dusty-” They sneezed into their arm, sniffling. “I.. feel like it might need a bit of work, yeah?”

The blond boy shrugged. “Yeah.. We can see ‘bout gettin’ a towel wet or something and wiping all ths shit down?”

Humming in agreement, Tubbo felt around, listening to the words their Comm robotically had been reading off.

“I’ll see ‘bout findin’ shit. They’ve gotta have wool in some of these chests,”

With a bit of digging,  the two teens had gotten to work. Not everywhere in the practically abandoned place was dusty or dirty. A small lush crevice was fresh and clean- or, relatively so. Bright feathers had littered the area around it. A path from a window seal, which had been opened, and to said crevice was nearly spotless of debris outside of such molting feathers or a few leaves.

Now without dust on the outside, the two messed with the chests, rummaging through what could be found.

..Which was a lot. Just not in the places they had expected.

Out of the chests they had searched through, they managed to find almost a doublechest full of various stacked enchanted books-

“How..How did he just leave all of this here?” “Well, he has enough he defenitely won’t notice a few gone!”

A totem of undying in a michalanious chest-

“Woah.. WHAT THE SHIT..” “Dude… This is.. A gamechanger”

A golden apple held by an item frame-

“Finders keepers! This counts, its on a chest.” “Sick!”

Bafflingly, a diamond in the food chest-

“What the actual shit. WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT-” “What? W- WHAT? WHY?”

Two enchanted, nearly broken bows with enchants- “Better than nothing, I’ll see about combinin’ them unless you feel like pinnin’ the tail on the donkey.” “..Sounds like a good plan, yah.”

And in the middle of the room, a chest with an enchanted diamond axe-

“..Fuck. Wow- There’s just a wholeass enchanted axe! What the fuck is the point of the itemframes if theres no system here?”

“Whats it enchanted with..?” “..Fortune? What a waste. Uhh, some efficiency, too.”

There wasnt much in the main storage room, but they werent quite willing to push their luck and explore too far. At least not until they got some food and set up some sort of gameplan.

The two teens distributed some of the loot they scavanged, damaged iron armor going to Tommy, a shovel to Tubbo and a spare shovel to Tommy, The totem of undying to Tubbo, and the two diamonds they scavenged turned into a diamond sword for Tubbo as well, with the axe and golden apple going to Tommy.

They turned their focus to food. The two sat beneath the support pillars against the walls, taking the time to eat  a handful of watermelon slices.

The wall of chests ahead of them had been broken, exposing the opened window with feathers trailing from it. It was an oddly live scene in the otherwise abandoned wooden hole.

Neither of them quite enjoyed the feeling of being holed in, or the small nature of the wall-home. Nor did either teen mention it.

Tommy explained the varying entrance ways from the mainroom. They had decided on splitting up soon, letting Tubbo find a place to dig out a room for the two of them, with Tommy going off and rummaging through more chests.

Tubbo found a dead-end room beneath a spruce-log room on the second story, and had begun trying to carve it out, as the other teen worked through more and more chests.

The blond eventually worked his way outside and into yard infront of the entrance, rummaging his way through the bits and pieces- the best so far, being another golden apple which he happily held onto.

Half way through his second chest, something caught his attention- or, more like, he caught something’s attention.

A blue, yellow-cheeked bird had fluttered around him, its head quirked curiously as it stared him down. Tommy shrinked.

“What the fuck do you want?” He squinted at the parrot as it lowered itself down onto the top of the open chest, hopping along the edge.

“F⚍ᓵꖌ!” The bird cooed in responded incoherently, chirping at him.

Tommy paused, eyes lighting up in realization. “Oi! You’re the one that flies into the house, huh?” 

In response, it turned it’s head away, nodding. “Hobbit!” It shrilled.

As Tommy had opened his mouth to respond, the hobbit himself, Grian, had flown down, sweeping down with a soft thud.

“Sorry! Uh, Professor Beak has a little spot in there. He likes to go n stay there most days, its a lot cozier than the mansion,” The older Brit chuckled apologetically, putting out his hand for the parrot. 

The blond boy snorted. “‘Professor Beak?’” He’d raise a brow.

The named bird chirped, stepping onto Grian’s wrist without hesitation. “Professor Ellen Taurtis Beak!” It cooed, its voice mimicking that of Grian himself.

It was… A strange display, to be sure.

Sheepishly, Grian hummed, running his spare hand through the bird’s feathers. “They may try ‘n break back in, they’re a pesky bird like that. I’m sorry for bothering you, though. You two doing good?”

“..Hm,,Yeah, thanks. Are you..Like, fuckin’ aware of all the stuff you’re leavin’?” Tommy eyed the strange man, folding his arms.

Grian merely gave a shrug. “Not really? But that just means they’re nothing important. If they help you both get started, they’re yours.”

Huh. Well, that was easy enough.

“..Right. Cool. Bye.” Tommy watched the man, as he easily nodded, striding off with his bird held by his chest.

The blond let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

“..This place is fucking weird.”

[joonie-beanie]

The OM! Characters as Retail Workers/Positions from my old job

Full disclosure: I’ve only had 1 retail job, and it was at a Homegoods. I worked there for 3+ years during college. Because I’ve only had this one experience, my below hc’s for the boys may be a little...specific to my previous job, and not universal traits that come with all retail jobs. 

Also I’m not including Luke because thattttt is child labor.

This is probably a very self-indulgent headcannon. Oh well.

Lucifer: 

(One of) the store managers. Specifically the assistant manager.

Nice to customers to their face, but will fantasize about stabbing them once they leave. 

Asmo once walked past the manager’s office and witnessed Lucifer professionally apologizing to a bitching customer over the phone, only to slam the receiver down moments later, sighing and mumbling “what an idiot.”

Very watchful of his staff. Do not slack off while he’s working....unless he likes you. In which case, he will take a moment to chat with you and give himself a much needed break. 

If he doesn’t like you, well...make yourself busy, or else you’ll get a stern talking to, and likely written up. Lucifer already has too much work to get done--he doesn’t want to babysit his staff.

Quietly schedules the people he likes to work during his shifts whenever he can, since he knows he can trust them to do their work. Not to mention, he enjoys their company a lot.

His favorite crew to have is Beel, Asmo, and Satan (and MC). Their schedules, of course, don’t always line up, but when they do he seriously thinks that he has the dream team.

Mammon: 

Cannot be trusted to actually organize the store, so he gets stuck at the registers.

However, the managers quickly realize that he's shit at anything front-end related aside from counting money (the man likes his money), and that he's prone to pulling out his phone when no one is around, so Lucifer forces him to work the floor. 

They start trying to give him more backroom shifts (because if he's not doing his work, they'll be able to tell easier).

HOWEVER--because Mammon is such a money lover, he’s very aware of every piece of expensive merchandise in the store. So if a customer attempts to switch tags, or peels the price tag off hoping to pull a quick one on the cashier, his coworkers always call him up so he can take a look.

Seriously, the amount of people that try to buy the $100+ gem rocks for $9.99 is crazy.

He feels very proud of himself whenever he manages to stop a customer from getting away with it.

He’s not the best worker in general, but the mangers would be lying if the said they didn’t appreciate his knack for remembering the expensive items.

Levi: 

Cash office.

Prefers to sit in the locked office by himself, listening to music on his phone as he runs checks the register balances from the previous day.

If he's not doing cash office, he's probably out gathering carts, or compacting boxes in the back.

Whatever keeps him away from the bulk of customers.

Whenever the managers need him to go help out on the floor, he gets permission to not wear his apron.

He seriously does not want anyone to talk to him. He just wants to work in peace.

Of course, if he’s seen organizing, or stocking shelves, customers tend to assume he’s an employee anyway--even without the apron.

Levi legitimately jumps anytime someone calls out to him and asks if he works there, and if he can help them. 

Oh, and he always brings his Switch to work and plays games on his lunch break. Do not talk to him if he’s playing his game--he will get mad at you.

Satan: 

Flow & mark-downs.

He's basically an all-rounder, but is superior to the others in putting out new merchandise (flow). He knows where things go, and how they should be organized. 

Secretly gets annoyed when customers ask him for help when he's in the zone, but is very good at faking a smile.

Will do what’s asked of him without any lip in return.

However, rude customers should beware of him, because his anger tends to flip on like a switch. If a customer is badmouthing him, or one of his coworkers--he has no issue telling them they’re a fool, and that they should just leave instead of causing issues.

He gets in trouble with management for doing this, but honestly has no regrets.

Definitely has regular customers that he is enemies with.

Gets left in charge of the store if the managers ever need to step away for their lunch break, or otherwise.

Asmo: 

Lead cashier. 

Super charming, great customer service voice. 

Always gives a good impression on the phone, and manages to make peppy announcements. 

If there’s ever a fundraiser going on, and the cashiers are supposed to ask for donations, Asmo is guaranteed to rake in the most.

He is very good at calming a customer if they're upset--apologizing and and being so sweet and polite that it’s nearly impossible to stay mad.

However, if they're rude to him, or his apologies go on deaf ears, he has no problem politely telling them to fuck off.

If he’s not at the registers, he’s probably off in the bath section--smelling soap--or the candle section--sniffing literally every candle in existence.

He’ll also be sure to get a whiff of whatever candle/soap a customer has brought to the register to purchase.

Runs off to visit other stores in the mall/strip when he’s on his break. (Aka. he spends way too much of his paycheck shopping).

Beel: 

Back room - heavy lifter. 

Dude spends most of the day in the stock room emptying the truck and building furniture.

Seriously can move big things with very little effort. He once carried an entire couch out onto the sales floor buy himself. 

While other coworkers may need to use carts or flatbeds to move larger items, Beel can legit just throw them over his shoulder and continue on his way like he’s not carrying anything at all.

He looks intimidating but is actually super friendly.

Will always work extra hours if you ask him to. Will also come in for extra shifts if you ask him to.

He always feels so guilty if he can’t accept, or needs to call off.

The type of coworker that goes out to buy snacks on his break, and ends up buy snacks for the rest of the staff. He just leaves them on the break room table with a note that says “Eat up :)”

Belphie: 

Closer - Sales Floor. 

The managers tried to work him on morning or midday shifts, but he was continuously too groggy, and ended up knocking things over on accident.

Hes more energetic at night, so they put him on the sales floor (since he’s honestly...not the best at the register. Don’t get me wrong, he can work the register as well as anyone else, but...he just...doesn’t sound friendly. (Lucifer: “Belphie...at least try to sound like you’re not working here against your will when talking to the customers. You applied for this job.”))

He honestly doesn't mind organizing merchandise, but gets annoyed if he ends up doing the bulk of the work. (Whether it’s because they’re short staffed, or because his coworkers are slacking).

Has no problem telling customers to gtfo when it’s closing time.

If people are still in the store 5 minutes after closing, he’ll follow them around until they finally take the hint and leave.

Always stops for fast food on his way home after work because making himself a meal sounds like too much effort.

Diavolo:

Store Manager.

Is very kind to all of his employees, but will also have hard conversations with them if there’s an issue regarding their performance that needs to be addressed.

However, he always does his best to maintain good relationships with everyone he works with.

Will buy lunch for the staff on busy weekends, even if he has to pay for the food himself. He wants to let his employees know that they’re appreciated, and while he’s the type to give verbal affirmation of a job well done, a luncheon doesn’t hurt either.

Even if customers are bitchy, he never raises his voice, or yells. He handles complaints like a champ.

If the customer physically or verbally abuses one of his workers, however...he will threaten to call the police. Do not fuck with his work children.

If his employees ever find him sighing, or looking like he’s stressed, then they know he’s definitely having a rough day. Please work hard, and help him out, and he’ll very much appreciate it. 

Barbatos:

The 4th key. (Basically a manager)

Some workers are scared of him because he always seems to be in a good mood--even if the store is packed, and things get overwhelming.

A very by-the-book type. While Lucifer and Diavolo may allow for some things to get overlooked, or for there to be a lapse in proper procedure, Barbatos is not like that. Rules are rules, and they shall be followed.

Honestly is a very nice guy, but working a closing shift with him can be the worst. Especially if Diavolo is the opening manager the next day. 

He will keep his staff there after closing as long as he needs to for the store to be in an acceptable condition. (The worst part is that Diavolo honestly is so easy going that if Barbatos had just opted to say “we were very busy and didn’t have the time to get everything done”, Diavolo wouldn’t blame him. Shit gets crazy).

Alas, Barbatos wants to please Diavolo and takes his role very seriously.

At least he brings in homemade baked goods for the staff sometimes. (His good cooking usually makes up for all the times he has kept them late).

Solomon:

Another all rounder. Usually get scheduled on midday shifts to bridge the gap between the openers, and closers. 

Is very good at keeping up his “customer service” facade. 

However, once there are no customers around his smile will fall, and he’ll mumble complaints under his breath. 

“Why does one couple need 15 candles?” “Lady, I don’t care about your chihuahua’s sleeping habits--just buy the pet bed already.”

Will always tease his coworkers if he gets along with them. Bickering with Solomon can become a very entertaining past time if he likes you.

Whenever new crystals, or rocks come in, usually he’ll spend a while inspecting them. Apparently he can tell which ones are real, or fake. (And he always ends up buying the real ones).

He’s the type of coworker that will sneak up behind you and scare you when you’re not paying attention. Just because he can. (Fight him, he loves it).

Simeon: 

One of the sweetest staff members, but he’s prone to getting flustered and making mistakes.

If he’s on registers, he’s so busy trying to start a conversation with the customer that he’ll short them on their change. 

Luckily, the customer is either patient in waiting for the manager to come up and open the register, or doesn’t care about the 22 cents Simeon forgot to give them.

He loves reorganizing the towel section of the store the most. Getting to stand there and refold towels almost feels like meditation to him.

Always goes out of his way to ask the customer if he can help them with anything, or if they’re finding everything alright.

Is prone to accidentally cutting himself when something sharp breaks. (It has literally gotten to the point where if a ceramic plate or something glass breaks, the managers have instructed Simeon to call someone else to clean it up, rather than doing it himself.)

Honestly, in the end, he’s a fabulous worker tho.

[statdaddyalien]

The Alien and the Runaway (pt. 2)

Summary: Kris Statlander finds herself in a bit of a pickle. She needs to find a partner to ‘marry’ in AEW for storyline purposes. Enter the Runaway herself Ruby Soho, who is looking to make an impact. Can they learn to be a team? Will real feelings get involved? Is Kris actually an alien? Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

  Rating: T

  Pairing: Kris Statlander/Ruby Soho (Pt. 1 )

"So is she an alien or not? Because I am seriously thinking that she is, she picked up two whole girls."

"No, she's not an alien. I mean I don't think so. She is freakishly strong but I mean then again so is Bianca and Charlotte." Ruby rolled her eyes. She was sitting in her car outside the AEW taping, talking to Liv on facetime. No matter what company they were in or how far apart they were, Liv was always going to be her best friend.

"Some people really do get the best genes don't they?" Liv let out a dramatic sigh, before raising a brow. "So you're starting a storyline with Statlander?'

Ruby nodded. "Yeah, we're supposed to fake being married at some point, we're going to start traveling together on the road loops I think. She's supposed to save me from a beatdown tonight, and that will be the set up to us starting the story."

Liv smirked a little bit. "I mean she does kind of seem your type. She has tattoos and piercings just like you."

Ruby did her best not to blush, she really didn't want to give Liv more ammunition to tease her with. "I don't have a type Liv." She muttered, trying to downplay it. "Anyways I need to get ready for my match tonight, you'll be watching?"

Liv chuckled. "Of course Rue-Rue, I'll be watching. I got to see if your new girlfriend is an alien or not."

"Goodbye Liv." Ruby muttered with a groan, hanging up the phone. She didn't know what she was going to do with the blonde delinquent. She turned her attention back to the storyline at hand. She wanted to build something believable with Kris, something that the fans would buy into.

Ruby walked into the backstage area to find Kris already waiting for her along with Orange Cassidy, Chuck and Trent. Ruby couldn’t be certain but for a moment she was almost certain that Kris lit up when she saw her.

“Hey how’s it going?” Ruby asked, looking between them.

Chuck flashed a friendly smile her way. “Kris here was telling us, you ladies might be teaming up.”

“Yeah, I talked to the writing staff and they actually seemed to like the idea of us teaming up.” Kris said, once more sucking on her lip ring.

Ruby noticed that it seemed to be a nervous habit for the younger superstar. It kind of made Ruby want try and get her to relax. “That’s great, maybe we should go over our segment?” Ruby asked, wanting to make sure that they nailed it perfectly. She was a bit of a perfectionist in that regard.

“Yeah, I have a little bit of time. I am supposed to go with Orange to his match so as long as I am back in time.” Kris said.

Orange Cassidy nodded and gave her a thumbs up, before going back to chilling. He really did seem to embody his character, just a really mellow dude which Ruby appreciated. She had seen his works on the indies and she enjoyed seeing all the impressive things that he could do.

Kris and Ruby walked down the hall, finding a quiet spot for them to talk. Ruby couldn't pinpoint why she was feeling so nervous, but Liv's teasing words from earlier kept playing through her mind. She tried to clear her mind, focusing on what she had came here to do. She wanted to tell compelling stories and be able to wrestle.

"So I think Britt agreed to the beat down angle. I'm going to come and make the save again and maybe pick you up and carry you to the back." Kris explained, trying to fill Ruby in on what she had worked out with the other competitor.

"Are you sure you're okay having to carry me back up the ramp?" Ruby didn't want to make Kris uncomfortable.

Kris stared at her for a long couple of seconds, that really felt like a life time to Ruby. "I think I can handle carrying you Soho." Kris finally said.

Truth be told Kris was just feeling lucky that Ruby had agreed to the segment. A compelling story that would drive fans to tune in was exactly what she wanted.

"Alright, well I guess I should get changed into my ring gear. Um also my friend Liv told me to tell you hi."

"Is she the one who had the questions about whether or not I'm an alien?" Kris asked, a small smirk tugging at her lips.

Ruby blushed but nodded. "I think Liv is just naturally curious. Anybody she thinks is hot or weird, she wants to know everything about them. I guess I don't blame her."

Kris looked amused. "Which one is it?" She asked.

Ruby blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Which one am I? Hot or weird?" Kris asked, finding it hilarious to put Ruby on the spot.

Ruby's blush only deepened and she seemed to shrink back a little, her mouth opening and closing a couple of times like a fish.

Statlander just laughed and winked at her. "I'll let you think on it. See you out there, Soho." Kris replied, before leaving Ruby, so she could go back and meet up with Orange and the rest of her friends.

---

"So you and Soho?"

"Don't ask Chuckie, I don't want to talk about it." Kris mused as they stood ringside, watching Orange Cassidy wrestle Matt Hardy. It was hard to hear over the roar of the crowd, which was good for Kris because she didn't really want to talk about it.

"She's not a bad pick for a tag partner. She looks like she's creative enough to bounce ideas off of." Chuck continued, not taking Kris' cue to drop it.

Kris ignored him, focusing on Orange as he managed to hit the Orange Punch. She wasn't sure she had really been flirting with Ruby, maybe messing with her a little bit about the alien thing.  Relationships hadn't really gone well for her in the past and she didn't want to think about how a stupid little work crush could effect that. She highly doubted Ruby had come to AEW looking for anything other than opportunities to wrestle, and Kris wasn't going to get in the way of that.

She made her way backstage once Orange won, and found herself face to face with Britt Baker. Britt gave her a friendly smile, mainly since they were backstage and away from cameras and prying eyes.

"You excited for your new storyline?" Britt asked. She hadn't been filled in on everything, but she knew Kris was going to be making the save once she started beating down Ruby.

"Yeah, I think it'll be fun to mix it up." Kris said, trying not to sound to enthusiastic. "What about you, any chance you'll get to be in a storyline with Adam?" She knew how much Britt had missed her boyfriend when they were in separate promotions.

"It's good to have him here, good to be able to share the road with somebody I love. It's different going on road loops when it's you and your significant other." Britt replied, clearly excited for the prospect. "You'll be getting to travel with Soho now right? I know you usually travel with Orange and the boys."

Kris chuckled softly. "Maybe the car won't smell like feet for once. It'd be nice to get to the arena early for once. Trent always gets us lost." Kris really did love her boys, she was grateful for their friendship. She was excited however to be able to tell a story with Ruby outside of the ring though. To get to try and sell the audience on it, even when they weren't at tapings.

"I wish you luck." Britt said, before brushing past her as her music hit.

Ruby walked to the curtain, surprised to see Kris there already. "Were you waiting for me?"

Kris shook her head. "Nah, not exactly I was just talkin to Britt before the segment. Go kick some butt out there, I'll be watching." Kris said, noting that Ruby looked a little disappointed and crestfallen to find that Kris hadn't been waiting for her.

Ruby schooled her expression into a neutral one as her music hit. "See you out there."

The younger superstar watched the monitors intently as Ruby and Britt cut promos on each other. She had to give it to the two ladies, they were exceptionally talented mic workers. Kris listened as they roasted the ever living daylights out of each other. It was fascinating to watch, because it blended a fair share of personal shots but also wrestling shots as well.

It was so enthralling that Kris almost missed her cue as Britt's lackies, Rebel and Jamie Hayter began to beat down Ruby. Kris shook her head and grabbed a chair running down to rescue Ruby. She cleared the ring, smacking Rebel hard across the back with a chair.

"Thought you weren't coming." Ruby replied with a small laugh, as Kris helped her to her feet. She could see that one of Britt's kicks had actually busted Ruby's lip open.

Kris' eyes narrowed and she lifted her thumb, brushing it over Ruby's split lip. She noted the way Ruby seemed to flinch at the contact. Kris' gaze softened and she rolled out of the ring and then helped Ruby start limping towards the back. About half way up the ramp, Kris scooped Ruby up into her arms bridal style.

The roar of the crowd was almost instant, as if they didn't know what to make of the duo. Kris cracked a small smile and winked down at Ruby as the crowd started chanting for them. It was definitely the reaction they wanted for the beginning of their little arc.

"Hey Stat?"

Kris raised a brow. "Yeah?"

"About your question earlier, regarding which one? I'd say both. A little weird, but definitely hot" Ruby replied cheekily, taking great joy in the way Kris almost stumbled once they reached the top of the ramp.

Kris was thankful for the face paint hiding just how hot her cheeks felt suddenly. She could already tell that traveling with Soho was going to be an adventure.

[lilxberry]

You Owe Me 20 Bucks - Steve Rogers

Synopsis;

Steve just simply wants to protect you, you find it extremely annoying how his plans to protect you get in the way of you doing your job as an Avenger, and Bucky and Sam have a running bet.

Warnings: A lil bit of language. Arguing. Mentions of violence. Mentions of betting. Wack ass stuff man. Fluff.

Words: 2,030

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader 

_______________

You walked into the meeting room, ready to be briefed by Fury for the next mission. This would be your first assignment in 2 months since your injury. Ever since you had woken up, everyone had babied you, especially a certain super soldier, which ticked you off to no end.

You took your place in-between Wanda and Bucky and prepared yourself for the droning voice of Fury and the nagging of Steve. “Hey, you good?”

You inwardly groaned at Bucky’s question. It was nice that the team cared so much but it was a bitch to deal with all their incessant babying and over protectiveness. “I’m fine, Buck, really.”

As if he could sense your irritation, he retreated and opted to leave you be. You signed in relief and sunk back into your chair. Just as you had gotten comfortable, Fury entered, followed by Maria then Mr. Patriarchy himself. “Avengers.” Fury simply greeted to grab everyone’s attention.

And so, the briefing had commenced and passed by, the only thing left on the check list was to discuss who will be part taking in the mission. “A team of 6 will be going in, the others will stay behind and only move out when needed. Stark, Barnes, Barton, Maximoff, Y/L/N, you 5 will be joining Rogers at the base.”

Before any body got the chance to voice their readiness, Steve had spoken up. “Y/L/N isn’t ready.”

You saw red as he had easily diminished your ability to be out in the field. “Like fuck I’m not ready.” You quickly stood from your seat so fast, the chair had scrapped against the floor before falling over harshly.

“If I say you’re not ready then you’re not ready.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest, standing his ground. Thing is, you were stubborn, every Avenger and agent knew that about you.

You walked towards in quick, long strides and stared him down, inches from his face. “It’s my body, I know when it’s damn ready.” You stepped back and looked towards Fury. “So, when we due to head out?”

“In an hour.”

“Great, see you guys at the jet.” You quickly turned on your heel and headed towards your room, ignoring the calls of your peers.

“I guess that’s all. Dismissed.” Fury disbanded the meeting, sending the remaining Avengers to prepare for their mission or go back to lazing around, ready to be called out as back up. Steve sighed heavily through his nose as her closed his eyes and pinched the bridge between his pointer finger and thumb.

As Bucky passed his best friend, he patted his shoulder and flashed him a tight-lipped smile, sympathising with his friend. This is gonne be one long mission.

_______________

The time came for the team to meet at the jet. You stepped on to the platform and headed over to the jet to meet with the others. Just as you placed one foot on to the flying metal contraption, the blonde of the 40’s due spoke. “I said you’re not ready.”

You rolled your eyes and chose to ignore his complaints. Ensuring your gear that you’re decked out in is securely strapped on, you made haste towards a free seat at the back off the jet, unfortunately getting blocked off by Steves’ broad and muscular form. You huffed and quickly side stepped him, proceeding to sit.

“No matter how much you nag, they’re still gonna tag along, dude. May as well give up before you’re driven mad.” Clint commented, eliciting a soft giggle from Wanda and a snicker from Tony, both trying desperately to cover their amusement up in any way available to them.

“He has a point. Maybe instead of butting heads, you could help her through this mission.” Bucky spoke directly to his friend.

“Or they could actually listen and not go.” Steve narrowed his eyes towards your ignorant and slouched form, folding his arms across his chest. Tony rolled his eyes before making his way through the jet to pilot it.

“Okay losers, can we all quieten down now. Daddy’s got a jet to fly.” And with that, Tony had the jet off the platform and heading to your destination. Steve huffed and sat opposite you next to Bucky. He stared you down whilst you continuously ignored him through the whole flight.

_______________

“What the hell, Steve?! I had it handled!” You yelled at your fellow Avenger as you all boarded the jet, ready to head back to the compound.

“Didn’t look like it!” Steve had replied, matching your volume.

You scoffed and threw your arms up into the arm in exasperation. “You have a seriously fucked up hero complex, you know that?!”

The yelling match continued between you both throughout most of the flight. By this point, the others within the small confides of the jet had pounding migraines and are in need of about 20 Advils each.

As soon as the jet landed back within the grounds of the compound, you both stormed out of the jet, heading to your separate rooms, both slamming them shut as loudly as possible, hoping the other would hear and convey how pissed you were.

“Ah, young love.” Tony quipped as his suit disassembled from around his form.

_______________

It had been a full week of you ignoring Steve. He had tried previously throughout the week, but you blanked him, simply as if he hadn’t existed. He knew he seriously messed up the second enemy after enemy headed towards you. He knew you could have easily defended yourself and have taken them out even easier but, you were right. He does have a fucked up hero complex.

But mostly, he always felt the need to protect you. Falling in love with a completely independent and able Avenger is a tough gig. Apparently.

Steve had had enough and decided he was going to talk to you, whether you wanted to or not. He marched with determination straight to your room and knocked brashly. He heard you groan from the opposite side of the door before the light patter of your feet pad along the floor. You swung the door open widely with a look of annoyance across your face, but it had quickly faltered as you tried to close the door just as hastily. He jammed his foot between the door and its frame.

“Leave me alone Steve.” He could easily detect the irritation and impatience within your voice. He pushed the rest of the way into your room and you groaned loudly once again. “You clearly don’t understand English, should I try Spanish? German? Ukrainian? Mandarin?”

“Okay, I get it, you’re pissed and you don’t want to see me. Well tough shit.” He stepped closer to you as you stood your ground. “We need to talk whether you like it or not.”

“Oh yeah? And what do we need to talk about exactly?”

Steve inhaled deeply before continuing. “About how you’re acting. You can’t act like a stroppy teenager whenever someone gives you a helping hand during a mission.”

You scoff, unbelieving of what he is saying. “That wasn’t a ‘helping hand’, that was undermining myself as an abled agent and my abilities to handle the enemy. That wasn’t a ‘helping hand’, that was throwing me to the side while you did all the work.” Your shoulders heaved up and down as your breathing became heavier the more anger filled you.

“Jesus Christ Y/N, I was trying to help! I led the mission that day and it’s my responsibility if any of you screw up. All I did was ensure none of you did.” Steves’ voice raised to match yours.

“NO! You ensured I didn’t screw up because “I’M NOT READY!”” At some point you had started to pace around the room in an attempt to calm you.

Steve ran his hand down his face as he groaned loudly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, willing himself to calm himself down also. “I just care about you Y/N/N. Please, why can’t you just understand that.”

“Well, you should go care about someone else. I didn’t see you hounding Starks’ ass about being careful.”

“Jesus H Christ, I’m in love with you, alright?!” Steve had exclaimed loudly in exasperation. You froze on the spot and slowly turned, shock evident across your face.

“Wha-what?” You stuttered out in a quiet whisper. Steve registered what had just slipped passed his lips and opened and closed his mouth, attempting to come up with some form of excuse for what he had said. “What did you just say Steve?” You spoke, your voice raised, pronunciation clear.

Steve sighed and looked down before tilting his head in the slightest to gaze into your eyes as he spoke sheepishly. “I said I’m in love with you, I love you.” He searched your face for the slightest inkling of reciprocation in the mix of a million emotions displayed across it. It had been a good minute or so of silence as you comprehended what he had just told you. He began to feel self-conscious and paranoia presented itself within him deeply. “Please say something.” He pleaded, his voice quiet.

This seemed to have snapped you out of whatever trance had engulfed you and you swallowed thickly as you looked up at him with wide eyes. You willed yourself to be brave as if you were back out in the field. You charged forward and crashed your lips to his, the move bolder than what you were used to doing.

You grasp on to him tightly, afraid he would pull away, although, you knew that was not going to be the case for he instantaneously reciprocated the intimate action with as much gusto and desperation. His larger hands came to hold on to your hips, knuckles turning white from how tightly his hands balled up your shirt.

Sooner than you had liked, you both parted and laid your foreheads against the others as you panted, desperate for any intake of oxygen. “I love you too, Steve.” You whispered breathlessly, looking up into his beautiful, blue orbs. They had even seemed to have an extra shine in this moment as you gazed deeply into them.

He smiled a huffed out a small chuckle, his thumb rubbing up and down against your side in a soothing and loving manner. “God, you drive me crazy.”

You both continued to stand there for what felt like hours when in actuality, was only a minute or so. Suddenly, a loud knock at the door echoed throughout the room before opening and revealing Sam and Bucky on the other side. “Hey, you guys comin-oh, damn, our bad. We’ll uh, leave you to it.” And with that, Sam quickly turned and shoved Bucky out along with him as he closed the door behind them.

“I think you owe me 20 bucks.” You heard Bucky’s voice through the door which had muffled the sound slightly.

“Man, I was sure they’d go another week before one of ‘em confessed.” You heard Sam whine as you presumed while he fished out the bills from his pocket to hand over to his apparent betting partner.

Their interaction had caused both you and Steve let out a small bout of laugh before turning your attention back towards one another. “I guess we should head down for food, huh?” Steve suggested whilst he had a boyish grin etched upon his face.

All you could do was mirror his smile and release a near inaudible ‘yes’ as you nod and step back, taking his larger hand into one of your own. He quickly pulled you towards him to lay a final pure, sweet, gentle kiss upon your plump lips. “Let’s go.”

He led you out of your room and towards the elevator, ready to join the others for food. As you stood in the elevator, you felt Steves’ gaze on you. You turned you head and sent him a wolfish smirk. “Bet you 20 bucks that they told everyone.”

Steve threw his head back in laughter as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and brought you closer into his side. “You’re on.”

_______________

Those pants are nice, yeah, just the pants, definitely just the pants I’m admiring, nothing else... *definitely is looking square at his ass* ...yeah man, nice pants...

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I did a Steve fic, noice

I’ve been super sucky with fics recently but I mean, college stuff, losing family, this, plus messing my knee up badly yesterday after accidently yeeting myself down some stairs, it be like that 

I really hope you enjoy this

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

[miraculouslycool]

kill ‘em with kindness

Merry Christmas Affiebear! (Sorry I couldn’t tag you on Tumblr)

I’m your secret santa for the APS Secret Santa Event of 2020!  Word on the street is that you are Marichat trash so take this fluff dump - I hope you enjoy it! Happy Holidays!

Summary: When Marinette turns to Chat Noir for his opinion about a present for Adrien Agreste, he is at a loss for words.

Was it because he never got presents? Was it because how perfect and flawless her present was? Was it because of her kindness? Was it because when he thought no one cared for him, she was right there all along? Was it because he did not know what he had done to deserve her?

Was it because of Marinette?

He had no clue.

Read in AO3:

"Pound it!" Ladybug bumped fists with her partner.

"Well this was a terribly close call." Chat Noir stretched obnoxiously. "But there's nothing we can't handle, can we, m'lady?"

"Well you're right there. Except for all your taunting." Ladybug rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on, Hawkmoth akumatises XY because he gets cancelled online for throwing a tantrum?" Chat Noir exclaimed.

"You gotta admit it's a little funny, even if he was a pain in the neck."

"Your musical puns were way off-key."

"Well he did get akumatised because he got caught for plagiarism - heeeeeeyyyyy you made a pun!"

Ladybug stiffened. Oh no. He was not going to shut up about it. Seriously, was he rubbing off on her?

"What's wrong, m'lady?" He leaned in. "Would being in sync with me be such a bad thing?"

'Well if he was, maybe it wasn't a bad thing.' She thought fondly, pushing him away by the tip of his nose.

"Getting to be as loud and obnoxious as you for the rest of my life? Very tempting, mon chaton."

"You know it!" He did a small salute, grinning at her so widely it must be hurting his cheeks.

She knew better than anyone that Chat Noir was basically an adrenaline junkie, but why did it seem like he was happier than usual today?

He particularly enjoyed the fight today, taking extra pleasure in dodging hits and deflecting those that came her way.

At one point she almost heard him groan when she set the purified akuma free, but that must have been her imagination.

Not that she would know if it was, but was it a special occasion that she had forgotten about?

"Besides, it's too early for this." The 15 year old superhero shrugged, shaking those confused thoughts away.

Her earrings beeped. "I really need to s-cat." She intonated deliberately. "See you?"

"You need to leave?" He asked abruptly.

"Yeah, I'm kind of almost late for something." She said absent-mindedly. "See you tomorrow for patrol?"

He didn't answer for a while, and that made her look up.

He could not have looked more different from the happy-go-lucky kitten from just a few seconds ago.

The ever-present smile on his face had sagged a little, but it was determined to stay.

"Yeah, see you!" He waved stiffly.

"Chat, is everything okay?" She asked worriedly, touching his shoulder.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" He asked, way too innocently. She watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat as he gulped.

Tearing her eyes away from the long column of his throat, (seriously why was she even looking there?) she faced his eyes again. His very green eyes that thinly hid the discomfort behind them.

"Nothing, you just seemed off," Ladybug pressed on. "Are you absolutely sure you're okay?"

"Maybe-" he said, taking her hand from his shoulder, "-this cat just can't bear to be away from his lady for far too long." He kissed her knuckles leisurely. "Purr-haps he misses her too much."

"Sure he does." She meant for it to come off as teasing, barely toeing the line of friendly and flirty, but if anything it came off as even more concerned.

"Don't worry, m'lady. I just remembered something I have to do today at the last minute." He said.

"Do you need help? Is there anything I can do?" She asked, her mind already making up plans for a problem she didn't even know anything about beyond its existence.

"Un-fur-tune-ately, I can't say anything without giving away my secret identity." He shrugged. "Besides it's nothing serious. Just a quick errand I need to run."

His drooped shoulders had straightened up again in the speed of light.

"Okay." Ladybug murmured, sneaking a peek at his still-flattened cat ears. "If you say so."

She climbed on the ledge of the roof, preparing to take off. "See you tomorrow?" She asked.

"I'll be counting the seconds, m'lady." He bowed dramatically.

She couldn't even muster a laugh at that, like she usually would have. Her rapidly beating heart was taking up all her energy.

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"I'm here!!" Marinette declared with a loud shriek as she ran into her first class of the day.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, madame!" She bowed stiffly at her teacher's desk. "I had an assignment to finish and I stayed up late ironing my dog and I-"

To her surprise, she was cut off by her entire class laughing.

"Don't worry, Marinette." Alya called, making Marinette turn around. "You actually turned up earlier than Her Royal Majesty."

And that only made everyone laugh even louder. She faced the desk again, ready to flinch against her teacher's glare only to find out she had been bowing to an empty desk.

"Eep!" Marinette's cheeks colored in embarrassment as she turned to face her classmates' fond laughter.

"How's the dog doing, Marinette?" Alix catcalled.

Marinette made herself smaller as she walked to her seat next to Alya.

"I didn't mean to say that!" She protested, fuming.

Turning to her best friend, she whispered, "I only meant-"

"You were ironing your Adrien posters?" Alya giggled in a whisper.

"Alya!" Marinette flushed.

"I know, girl. Only teasing." She patted her back.

It was only then Marinette realized the lack of a certain blond mop of hair in her sight.

"Where's Adrien?" She asked. "Is he not coming to school today?"

"Hm, I'm not sure," Alya said, when Nino turned around to answer Marinette. "He's not coming to school for today, actually."

"What?" Marinette said, aghast, before toning it down. "Ahem, I mean, how come?"

Nino's face fell a little. "Well...um, how do I say this?"

Marinette glanced at Alya, who looked just as confused as she was.

"It's his mom's birthday." Nino winced.

Both girls gasped.

"Oh no," Alya said sympathetically.

"So, you know, he has to stay home and everything 'cause his father insists on having this memorial and everything." Nino looked more and more uncomfortable as he spoke, like he was imagining himself in Adrien's place the whole time. "And by memorial I mean piling more work on the poor kid."

"Why didn't any of us know?" Marinette asked, her heart twanging painfully for her crush- er, friend. "We could have done something, we could have at least told him-"

"I don't know, Marinette, but you two know how shy he is about these things." Nino said, ducking even more under his cap.

"That's true." Alya said thoughtfully, letting Nino entwine his fingers with her hand as his thumb caressed her knuckles. "He almost never talks about what's going on at home, does he?"

(Maybe now wasn't a good time to feel envious of Alya and Nino's ease when it came to affection, but it was hard not to.)

Marinette straightened her thoughts.

Her crush on him had no less faded over the last year. Her heart still beat loudly at even the slightest brush of his skin against hers, but Marinette was proud of herself for realizing that talking to Adrien normally and foaming at the mouth were mutually exclusive.

And as his friend, she couldn't let Adrien be alone at a time like this!

Not like she could actually ever get into his house unless she risked Tikki's wrath by abusing her powers.

"I can hear the gears in your brain turning, Marinette." Alya poked her shoulder. "What are you thinking?"

"Nino?" Marinette said hesitantly. "If I made Adrien something to cheer him up, and gave it to him, would he consider it insensitive?"

Nino immediately brightened up. "No way, dude! He would love something like that! Especially from you!"

"Especially from me?" Marinette paraphrased.

"Uh, what Nino means to say is that no one would ever refuse a gift as sweet as that!" Alya said through gritted teeth. "You just know a softie like Adrien would melt at your declaration of-"

"-Alya!" Marinette interjected.

"-friendship!" Alya finished, but Marinette was a 100 percent sure that was not what she was going to say. "Besides girl, who are we to stop you from a creative spree?"

Marinette sighed in relief. The last thing she needed was a conversation about her love life. She was NOT going to use this as an opportunity to confess.

"I don't think you'll be able to see him though. You'd have to mail it to him. Just like I'm gonna put his notes in that large mailbox you can't even open." Nino sounded disgruntled.

"Oh." Marinette said, her spirits sinking. Giving the present in person would have been nice. Seeing Adrien's handsome face hopefully brighten up as he opened it....

"Well, it doesn't really matter. As long as he gets it, am I right?" She said, ignoring the painful wiggle in her chest.

"Yep, don't forget to sign it, and you'll be fine." Alya teased, much to Marinette's chagrin.

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Finding a picture of Emilie Agreste was easy enough. She was an actress, after all.

But finding one of her with Adrien in it? Looks like Gabriel Agreste was talented at keeping his private life private. She couldn't find any picture or even some sort of information that would help in sketching her portrait for Adrien.

"Uh, Marinette?" Tikki landed on her shoulder. "I don't think you'll need information about Mme. Agreste's movies to draw a portrait of her."

"No, I know that, Tikki, it's just..." she put her phone down and looked at the bare boned sketch in her tablet. "I needed something to prove to myself that I'm not drawing the picture of a ghost." She gulped. "It's crazy how if it weren't for these official photos, it's almost like...."

"...she never existed?" Tikki said ominously. "Yes." Marinette sighed. "I can't imagine how Adrien must be feeling right now."

She couldn't fathom waking up one day and being told that one of her parents had gone forever, never to return.

It was too unbearable. How did Adrien live with it everyday?

"That's why he's so lucky to have friends like you, Marinette!" Tikki said encouragingly. "This is so thoughtful of you!"

"I guess..." Marinette mumbled.

"You could...maybe look up some movie stills?" Tikki suggested.

"No, Tikki, this has to be perfect!" Marinette said. "I doubt he wants his mom to look so...manufactured." she grumbled. "And I really want to draw him in too... I can always use one of his photos as reference but - what if Adrien thinks I'm insensitive for reminding him about the very thing he's trying to forget?! And then he'll hate me forever!" She catastrophized.

"Oh, Marinette." Tikki shook her tiny head. "You know, someone very wise told me that the most important thing about a present is the person giving it."

"Who said that?"

"You did!" Tikki said. "And you know that Adrien wouldn't ever say that to you."

"Yeah...he's too kind to say something bad about my lame drawing."

"Nuh uh." Tikki flew directly up to Marinette's nose. "No negative thoughts. You are going to make a beautiful painting, filled with a lot of love, Adrien is going to absolutely love your present."

Marinette half-smiled. "Thanks, Tikki. What would I do without you?"

Tikki paused to kiss Marinette's forehead. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yes." Marinette said determinedly, keeping an eye on the two photos open in her monitor as she began to sketch.

She had no idea how long she had been drawing, but for some reason her eyes kept on drifting towards the little cat toy she and Chat Noir used to communicate with each other.

Her kitty was pretty out of it today. Was he doing okay? Did his errand go well? What had made him look so disappointed?

Well, he always did look a little sad every time they had to part ways, but she always assumed it had something to do with not being able to see each other as much as they would like.

She knew because she felt the same. In a world full of school assignments, commissions, half worded excuses and akuma attacks, it was practically impossible to imagine it all without Chat Noir. He was one of the few constants in her whirlwind of a life.

Was he doing okay?

"Hey, Tikki?"

"Yes, Marinette?" She looked up from chewing on her cookie.

"Do you think Chat Noir is okay?"

"Ah, but that's a question only Chat Noir can answer."

"That does not help." Marinette grumbled. "Would I be prying if I asked today how his day went? I'm the one enforcing the secret identity rules after all."

"Just talk to him, I'm sure he'd be open to discussing things a little."

"You sure I won't make him uncomfortable? That's the last thing I want to do."

"He's your partner, Marinette, if you can't talk hypothetically with him, who can you talk to?" She said. "Literally." She added after a beat.

Marinette mustered a chuckle, eyeing the kitty toy one last time. "If you say so." She returned to sketching Adrien's vivid green eyes which so resembled his mother's.

And Chat Noir's.

Adrien needed to get away.

That was all he wanted out of life. To get away from his current one.

Staying put in his room for 13 years couldn't have been all there was to life. So he escaped to public school.

Being kind, polite, engaging yet restrained couldn't have been all there was to engage in conversations. A ring and a tiny trickster god gave him an escape route for that.

Maybe, just maybe, in an island far away, where no one could find him, where no one except Ladybug had to put up with him willingly, he wouldn't have to hold back fearing his father's reaction on his mother's birthday of all days.

He felt bad about leaving Nino on read, he felt worse upon learning that his father would not be joining him for dinner AGAIN.

For once, Plagg didn't complain, and he was grateful.

He vaulted out of his window and ran as far as he could. Maybe not the smartest of moves - as a superhero he did technically know the city better than most people.

He was also that kid trapped in a gilded cage for most of his formative years.

His feet took him somewhere, for all he cared he could have ended up in his dream island with Ladybug waiting for him there and he wouldn't have noticed.

A stitch in his side made him stop in his tracks.

His knee hit the narrow roof he had landed on.

'That's weird.' he thought. He usually had no problem running marathons in his super suit.

He grunted, panting heavily as he slid down the chimney. Was even his body refusing to co-operate today? The ONE time he wanted to run away for a few minutes - and of course he practically collapses on a stranger's roof.

'Unbelievable.'

Who was he kidding? He was the superhero of bad luck. What was he expecting, really?

A glint of a streetlight caught his attention.

He could see his school!

Which meant...the house he was sitting on-

"Such a clear night out, don't you think?"

Adrien jumped skittishly, only nearly catching himself at the edge of the roof.

Crap.

Maybe she hadn't heard him?

"Who's there?!" He heard her call out cautiously.

Ok. Maybe she thought it was a LITERAL cat.

"I can hear you!" he heard her, much more braver this time. "I am armed!"

Just when everything was going wrong today, he just had to scare Marinette too.

"WOAH!" He revealed himself, his hands up in surrender. "No need for a catfight, princess. It's just me."

"Chat Noir?" Marinette put down her...potted plant?

"You weren't gonna plant evidence of a murder, were you?" he joked, trying to calm down his rapidly beating heart.

She placed her hands on her hips. "Very funny."

He landed on her railing. "Sorry." he said apologetically. "I was just passing by and I accidentally slid off your roof. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Oh, that's okay." she waved it off. "I wasn't THAT scared."

Adrien's breath hitched a little once he finally got to look at his friend. She was wearing a cardigan over her pink and white pajamas.

And her hair was down.

"Did something happen?" Marinette asked. "Is there an akuma out?"

Her blue eyes glinted with dangerous anxiety.

He didn't understand why he found that...alluring? Of course she would be cautious about having akumas out and about. She lived in Paris just like everyone else.

"No, no." He clarified. "I was out and about. You know, just wanted to get some fresh air and look over my favourite city." he said half-heartedly.

"What about Ladybug?" she asked with a small smile. "Are you two patrolling together today?"

He winced.

"Um...no. Not today. She's probably getting some well-deserved rest, I think." he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Oh. I see." Marinette said shortly. "Good for her."

"Don't let me keep you!" Chat said hurriedly. "I'll just be off-"

"Wait!" Marinette stopped him, her hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" she asked, taking her hand away, but the concern still remained.

He was momentarily distracted by her pushing back one of the strands of hair away from her face.

Fisting his itching fingers, he tried to appear confused.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

She narrowed her eyes, looking at him up and down. "You look exhausted."

"Pffffft."

He didn't know why his knee jerk reaction was to laugh.

Marinette looked at him like he had grown an extra tail.

"Don't worry, ma princesse, these suits are immune to exhaustion."

"But you're not." she said flatly, making him blink. "There's still a normal person behind the mask, and he looks like he hasn't slept in days."

"Oh come on, it was only yesterday and today!" he said defensively.

"Chat Noir!" Marinette exclaimed.

"I don't see you tucking yourself in."

"Yeah, well, I'm not a superhero with a duty to the city now, am I? You need the extra sleep more than I do."

He opened his mouth to retort, but there was nothing witty about silence.

"I rest my case." she said, smugly smiling at him.

"I just couldn't sleep, okay?" he sighed, brushing his hair back. "Things...are going on in my life."

He almost found himself elaborating before realising that he still wore a mask.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Marinette asked him kindly.

Putting Marinette in danger was the last thing he wanted.

"I don't think I can explain fully." he said, truly disappointed. "Identity rules and all that."

"Oh." a flicker of sadness passed through her face, before she straightened up.

"You don't have to tell me everything! But is there anything else I can do to help?"

'Not unless you can magically find my mother again.' he thought pitifully.

"Thank you, Marinette. You're one of the kindest people I know and I really appreciate it, but there's not much I can do so..."

"Well." Marinette didn't seem to want to give up on him. "I came up here to make a present for my cr- I mean friend, and I have cookies! Do you want to rest here for a while?"

Cookies.

Cookies sounded great.

Some time with his friend sounded absolutely incredible too.

"If it's not too much of a bother..."

"Get down, you silly cat!" she laughed in a tinkling echo, pulling on his arm impatiently.

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He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten something sweet.

What a way to break a fast.

"Careful, you're gonna mold your teeth together." A finger poked his cheek playfully.

"Hm?" He started, his mouth still full of chocolate chip cookies. "Whaffyoumen?" he burbled.

Oops. It probably wasn't a good idea to talk with his mouth full. He could almost feel Nathalie's disapproving glare on him.

But Marinette only choked out a chuckle. "You should see your face right now!"

He slowly swallowed, taking in how her entire body moved when she laughed. Her slender shoulders shook in mirth...and was she wiping tears from her eyes?

"Well, can you blame me?" he said, stifling the surprise he felt at his voice sounding normal. He hadn't even realised that he had swallowed his food.

"The Dupain-Cheng cookies are out of this world!" he hummed appreciatively as he bit into another cookie. "This stray cat is probably gonna linger for a long time, disturbing your good night's sleep all for a taste of your legendary cookies, and you will have no one but yourself to blame." he warned seriously, leaning against the wooden frame of the side of Marinette's deck chair.

"Well I hope the stray knows he is always welcome here." Marinette said, putting her e-marker down.

He blinked, taken aback at her very forward words.

He really was joking. He wasn't really going to come back again and again like a creep and intrude on Marinette's night.

"And I'm probably the biggest night owl I know." she shrugged. "I'm always up sewing or drawing or something or the other."

"Wow, no wonder you're always late to school." he blurted without thinking.

Marinette stiffened, slowly raising her head to look at him.

"How did you know I was always late to school?" she narrowed her eyes at him.

Crap.

Why couldn't he keep his big mouth shut? Now he had gone and babbled to Marinette - and Ladybug was going to have his skin for this-

"I...didn't?" he stammered, thinking quickly. "But now I do!" he schooled his expression into a joking one. "Tsk, tsk, Marinette, it's not good for kids to be so tardy-hey!"

He was cut off by Marinette slamming a throw pillow into his face. "You-you trickster!"

"But I didn't do anything!" He let out a broken laugh, trying to dodge Marinette's well-placed hits.

"I wasn't the one who accused myself of being late!"

"I wasn't the one who confirmed it!" He chuckled as the pillow hit his shoulder, along with a hard hit from her knuckles. "But I bet you're in detention all the time."

"I'll have you know I'm a star student!" Marinette sat up straight, lifting her shoulders proudly. "I am perfectly capable of keeping up with all my work."

Well, he knew she wasn't wrong. Marinette was one of their best students and Adrien had often found himself wondering just how she kept up with all her work.

"My a-paw-logies, purrincess." he bowed his head deeply. "I had no idea your talents made you more than just a pretty girl. And that's saying something, coming from the prettiest cat in all of Paris." he flaunted obnoxiously.

"You silly cat." Marinette rolled her eyes, and his breath hitched.

Something about this was vaguely familiar. The proud tone of voice, the firm set of her chin, the slight glare in her eyes - like he was a challenge she was not afraid of.

Of course he knew that Marinette possessed a lot of qualities he would associate with Ladybug. Her kindness, her bravery, her headstrong nature, her blue eyes, her silky hair that no doubt reminded him of his fantasies of a Ladybug with her hair down.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Adrien felt ashamed of himself. Here she was, being impossibly more kind to him than he deserved, and here he was, acting beyond stupidly.

Marinette was a pretty girl, he had always known that, he wasn't going to deny it, but he wasn't going to fixate on it anymore.

Besides, Ladybug was the only one for him...right?

"Believe me," he reached out to hold her hand. "Talking about the new UMS update and shoving cookies down my throat is exactly what I needed."

He squeezed her hand and let go, partly embarrassed that he really wanted to kiss it and partly furious that he had even considered that.

“You’re amazing, Marinette. I really hope you know that.”

Now it was her turn to be embarrassed. “Oh stop, I didn’t do anything, I really enjoy your company anyway. But I’m really glad you’re feeling better!"

She did much more than she thought. Somehow a half an hour of proximity to Marinette’s radiance did wonders to his mood.

"Thanks." he said, the smile playing easily on his lips.

"Oh come on!" Marinette sighed exasperated, pointing to her tablet.

It was scattered on its back on the pillow which Marinette had used to bonk him.

"Oops, sorry, princess!" He said hastily, picking it up and turning it on.

He breathed a sigh of relief when it flickered on. The last thing he wanted was to inconvenience Marinette with his clownery.

"What were you drawing anyway?" he asked, grinning up at her. "Another incredible design worthy of the front cover of Vogue?"

He glanced down at the screen, and Marinette snatched her tablet away quickly.

One second was enough to register what he had seen.

"Uh, ah, not exactly...?" Marinette stammered. "I-it's nothing! I was just trying out some new sketches and stuff!! I'm always drawing dresses and that gets boring after a while don't you think?!" she let out a very loud, and nervous laugh.

Chat was sure his mind was playing tricks on him.

His mother was on his mind all day, so obviously the first thing he saw on a screen would be a very detailed and meticulous sketch of a portrait of him and his mother.

"Uh, is that the Agreste kid?" he gulped. "I recognize him from all the billboards and stuff."

"N-no! It's not! Like I said, I was just practicing sketching people and this was the first thing that popped up in google!" she dropped the tablet again on her lap to flail her arms around. "It's nothing!!"

Not that he was able to register her art in complete detail - but the first thing about it that caught his eye was well, his eyes.

"May I...?" he asked gently, holding out a gloved hand.

He waited for her to give the tablet to him, (which strangely brought about a sense of deja vu regarding an umbrella) and peered at the drawing.

It was the color of leaves, the color of grass, the kind of shade that made one slack-jawed at its brilliance.

He was always told that his almond shaped eyes were beautiful, but it's not like he ever cared for things like that.

Marinette was flustered and nervous, a lot, but she wasn't the kind to falsely exaggerate things.

Why did Marinette draw him like that? So expressive? So full of life?

One look at the beautiful, smiling woman with her arms around his shoulders gave him the answer.

Whoever said it was easy to know the worth of our loved ones wasn't wrong. His mum was smiling for the camera, but her green eyes (the same shade as his) were peering down at him lovingly.

Tears pricked at the back of his eyes but he forced them back.

He missed her. He missed how she used to play the piano for him, how she would let him place his tiny hands over hers while she taught him the chords, how she used to be a fan of every tv show he watched, how her voice reading a bedtime story used to be the only thing that would rock him to sleep.

He cleared his throat and said, "It looks stunning, Marinette. You are so talented!!"

Marinette deserved the praise. His blubbering could wait for now.

"R-really?"

For the first time, Marinette was actually shy in front of Chat Noir. "T-thank you."

"Is there a story behind this?" he asked, handing her tablet back.

"I mean, it's curious how of all people you chose the Agrestes." he tried to come off as conversational and not desperate.

"Well, I...promise me you won't laugh?"

"Is it a joke I will laugh at?" He raised an eyebrow.

(Oh no, what if it was a joke?! What if Marinette was just practicing and he went and made it more serious than it actually is-)

"Chat!" she snapped.

"Okay, okay, I promise." he drew a cross over his heart. "Feline's honour."

"Okay." Marinette took a deep breath before answering. "You know how Adrien Agreste is in my class?"

"Yeah!" he said a bit too enthusiastically before reeling himself in. "I mean, I've seen him around." he amended.

"Okay so, today is his late mother's birthday." she mumbled, twiddling her thumbs.

"You know-?"

"Not that I researched it!" she practically yelled. "His best friend told me! And he was pretty worried because Adrien didn't come to school and I was worried too - because well, uh, I really can't imagine how awful he must be feeling and I just wanted to make him something so that he could feel better....?"

Words were failing him.

She must have taken his silence for disgust because she prattled on. "I would have finished it sooner and mailed it to him but its so PERSONAL and I didn't want to be insensitive, what am I SAYING-"

"Wait." Chat interrupted. "The gift you were talking about. The one for your friend. It's this?"

She hesitated before nodding.

If the tears were imminent before, they were lashing away at his eyes, threatening to blur the lines of superhero-civilian-friend-acquaintance and throw his arms around Marinette and sob into her shoulder and thank her for the rest of his life.

Adrien wasn't Chat Noir for nothing. He had learned the difference between the emotions he could express and the emotions he had to keep in check.

"Marinette?" he asked, gulping down his tears. "Why would I laugh at this?"

"I don't know...isn't it childish? Wouldn't he prefer something better? Something that doesn't remind him of someone he is grieving for? What if he hates it?? What if he never wants to see me again??" her voice was progressively getting louder.

"Marinette-" He reached out to hold her shoulders, but she beat him to it, gripping his arms and shaking him a little.

"I'll never forgive myself if that happens!!"

Of course he knew Marinette cared. She was the kindest person he knew.

He didn't know she cared about him enough to pour her heart and soul into a beautiful present made just for him. He didn't know she cared so much about HIS opinion on something. No one ever asked him what his thoughts and opinions were.

But why him? Why him of all people?

"Marinette." he said gently, willing himself to calm down as he held her arms and pushing himself away gently.

He couldn't sit too close. If he did, he would want to hug her and bury his face into her neck and have a good cry, and worse, he WOULD do exactly that.

"Why would Adrien dislike it?" he murmured. "He would be more than happy to recieve something amazing like that."

"You're just saying that." she said miserably, her shoulders hunching over.

"No!! Trust me, Adrien is going to LOVE it. He is..." one of his claws caught absent mindedly on a stray strand of hair.

It had dislodged itself away from her hair.

Well that simply wouldn't do.

"He is so lucky to have a friend like you."

He didn't know why the word 'friend' was suddenly so hard to say.

"There's a reason why you are my favourite civilian, you know." he said, pushing the lock of hair behind her ear.

She involuntarily snorted. "You're a superhero. You can't play favourites."

"I can if my favourite is the kindest, most talented, most incredible person I know."  he retorted.

Did he hear her breath hitch?

"But Adrien is the best friend anyone could ask for! He's always so supportive, he never turns down an opportunity to help someone out, even in his busy schedule - he's so hands-uh, he's very hands on!!" She stammered at the last minute. "I can't give him any old drawing and expect him to accept it!"

"That old drawing??" he repeated incredulously. "I can't believe you are insulting that work of art!"

"Oh, you know what I mean!"

"I don't, actually." he quipped. "I don't see any reason why he shouldn't accept it. And if he's half the decent dude you say he is, he will. Believe me, Marinette. Amazing girls like you should have nothing to worry about. If anything, your friend Adrien is the lucky one."

He meant it with his whole heart. If he couldn't hug Marinette (and stay there for the rest of his life) as Chat Noir, tomorrow he was going to do it as Adrien and let her know just how wonderful of a person she truly was.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one comforting you?" her tone was teasing, but sincere at the same time.

"Anything for my favourite civilian, remember?" He winked.

To his utter surprise, Marinette flung her arms around him in a tight hug.

She didn't even take him by surprise, yet he felt like the wind was knocked out of his lungs.

She practically had to kneel while he was able to envelop her in his arms while sitting down.

She was the small one, but he was the one feeling safe and protected in her embrace.

He was able to register how rapid her heartbeat was (or maybe it was his, he couldn't tell), how she breathed, how her cheek was pressed against his shoulder -

"Thank you for being such a good friend, Chat Noir." she said into his chest.

'You. Are. A. Despicable. Human. Being.' His conscience snarled as it sunk.

Why was it? He was more than happy to be Marinette's friend. He was!

"Hey," Marinette said into his ear, after a few minutes (or atleast he thought so), "Ladybug is incredible and all, but between you and me, it's you I'm a fan of."  

Marinette Dupain Cheng was a CHAT NOIR fan?

MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG was a Chat Noir fan!

His ego swelled and deflated at that.

"Well, No. #1 fan, I'm all for selfies, as long as the camera flash isn't turned on and I autograph in paw prints and ink." he said cheekily.

"Gee." Marinette said flatly. "No thank you. I'd rather not have my papers stained in paw prints."

"Well some of us can't draw as well as you. It would be unbecoming of me to scribble all over your headshots of me you're no doubt hiding."

Her cheeks turned pink at that, but quickly calmed down. "Ha, you wish." she turned away shyly.

"Marinette?" he said kindly. "I meant every word I said. If Adrien hates your present, I'm sorry to say this but he can piss right off."

He was met with a another pillow to his face.

"Watch it," she said threateningly but he could hear the smile in her voice.

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[boogiewrites]

No. 9: The Body CH. 6

Characters: Diego Hargreeves & OFC Eve Corpuz

Summary:  Eve explores the limits of her power. Diego is still stalking her and finds out more about her. Eve meets Klaus.

Warnings/Tags: Klaus. Talk of past trauma and phobias. Brief mentions of illness, injury and death. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT! If you’d like added to the tags, just let me know. This is a multi-chapter fic.

Eve had begun to notice changes in her shape from the training. Work wasn’t as strenuous and honestly, her ass was looking fantastic. Her body was adapting but she felt she wasn’t exercising her mind enough. Out of the two, trying to use her mind and powers was harder to find time for since it was so draining. Using them at work in small increments to help things along was now manageable, but there were no visible results from it. Nothing she could look at, try to heal, and then see healed. So that’s where she started.

Eve wasn’t a stranger to doing illegal things. If you took a look at her juvenile record that would be clear. What she was doing wasn’t exactly illegal but it was certainly breaking some rules. She was finding it surprising how much she could get away with by simply wearing her white coat with her ID and having a determined look on her face. People held doors open for her that she didn’t have clearance for, add carrying a clipboard around on top of that and she could’ve gotten into just about anywhere it seemed. She was starting to understand how Diego was so good at it, and more interestingly understanding why he did it. That little flush of her cheeks and rush of misbehaving came back to her, something she’d not felt in over a decade, fueled her powers, and gave her a little oomph to work with.

She started small, visited patients being held that was out of the ER after surgery, vehicle accidents, and the like, plenty of small cuts and scrapes that no one would notice were gone. She’d look in and find someone resting and alone, not hard to do most nights. She’d find some road rash, a smaller gash, something not too intricate. At first, she thought she needed to put her hands on the person to heal and woke up a few very understandably startled people. But after a few successful attempts, she started to push herself more. By focusing she began to be able to heal cuts over and no scar would be left in its place. Whoever she did this to, she would check on their file until they were discharged, making sure she wasn’t hurting them or causing bad side effects. So far they’d all made a full recovery with no complications. This was extremely promising and made Eve’s confidence grow and therefore emboldened her to push herself.

She’d worn herself ragged running experiments on what she could or couldn’t do. She had a journal she kept hidden that she kept her results in. So far, she’d been able to find some limitations and strengths. No matter how hard she tried, she was no match for cancer. She could help with someone’s side effects momentarily but be unable to cure it. The same could be said for viral and bacterial instances. Once something had infiltrated and infested a body, she could no longer help it. She could only manipulate the body itself. Her hopes of being able to be the cure for cancer, which she would admit was a bit egotistical, were broken after seeing many fade away after brief respites she’d give them from nausea or pain. It was nice to be able to help certainly but having to see suffering and not be able to fix it was a heavy burden she was having to learn to deal with.

It was never easy to lose someone. It was something she wouldn’t say you got used to exactly, but it was something you could come to understand with time. Or at least be able to come to terms with. Since Eve was an emotional person deep down, and the healing she’d been trying to do to help herself manage that was opening up old wounds and was making her feel raw. Every life that slipped through her fingers would hit her harder than it had months prior. Which is what led her to be so reckless, she guesses. So she tried to bring someone back from the dead.

It wasn’t uncommon sadly, for a child brought in after catching a stray bullet from a hit and run or gang violence. It felt so unfair, and the first time she tried the child was rolled in, DOA, her heart poured out for them. She gave it her all, paddles, compressions and when nothing moved the vitals she had a last-ditch effort. A tear-filled pressing of her hands to the chest of the child, nurses looked on with heartbroken eyes for the doctor as she had a rare moment of breaking on the job. For a fleeting moment, a blip on the monitor later ruled out to a technical glitch, but Eve just couldn’t muster it. She passed out onto the bloody floor from her attempts and was sent home.

She’d had mixed feelings about it. Had she almost done it? Could she get stronger? Or had she found a line that she couldn’t cross? The page entry for her recorded attempts had teardrops running her ink on that entry. She felt defeated and decided to take a break.

--------------------------

Diego watches Eve without her knowing, as he sometimes still does. He trusts her, but a part of him always wants to be sure. She’s in an unusual neighborhood, going into an apartment building he doesn’t know. He decided to wait on her to appear again instead of finding her inside. He didn’t have to wait much more than an hour before she appeared again, seeming uneasy as she stepped back into the now dark streets.

He followed behind, spilling out of an alleyway after she passed and started the task of getting closer to her. When he finally got close enough to reach out and speak he was met swiftly with a switchblade and a series of moves he’d taught her.

“Woah! Hey! It’s me!” He says defensively, only a minor rise in key from surprise as he jumped back.

“Jesus fucking CHRIST Diego!” She says with an expression he’s never seen before.

“Hey! Hey! I didn’t know you’d be so jumpy!” He keeps his hands up between them as she huffs out of her nose like a bull, the late winter night air just still barely showing her breath.

“I’m a woman. Alone. At night on the street, dude!” She states obviously and biting as she puts her blade away. “Of COURSE I’m jumpy!” She whispers angrily.

“Look, there are people around and the streetlights are on... I didn’t know I’d scare you.” He explains with hands now on her shoulders. “You okay? You’ve got that wild look in your eyes.”

“I’m just…” she sighs and shakes her head. “I’m fine. I just… Wanna get home.”

“Looks like we need to train on lying.” He smirks.

She stares at him for a moment with pursed lips then shrugs and turns back in the direction she was going.

“Mind if I walk with you?”

“No, I'd like that actually.” She murmurs.

“What are you doing in this part of town?”

“Do you follow me everywhere?”

“No…” he answers defensively playful. “I was around and saw you. Got curious.”

“You can’t send a text like a normal person?”

“Not my style.”

“Difficult is your style.”

“Hey, slow down there with the rapid-fire insults here. Did I do something?”

“Besides stalk me? No.”

“Then why are you being such a-“ he stops as she shoots her eyes his way. “Difficult person?” He tries to cover smoothly.

Once again she stares as if contemplating something. “If I tell you will you stop asking?”

“Sorry, no promises. Don’t think I missed where you didn’t answer why you’re here.”

“Fine.” She begins to walk again. “I’m here apartment hunting. Not so great street, but that apartment is really nice. And I have a fear… a phobia that you’re gonna laugh at me for so I don’t wanna tell you.”

“When have I ever laughed at you?”

She raises her brows obviously at him.

“Okay, I won’t now.” he emphasizes.

“I don’t believe you for some reason.”

“I swear! I won’t.”

“Due to… past trauma, I am afraid of the dark. And I don’t know this part of town and it makes me nervous. I’d catch a cab but I want to learn the subways so I need to walk it.”

He stays quiet for a moment. “Afraid of the dark?”

“Yes, my mom would lock me in the closet and read scripture and scare me and shit. Okay? And it traumatized me so when it’s dark and I’m overstimulated I get really... panicky.” She explains defensively.

“Don’t have to fight me over it, it’s fine. I...get it.”

“Don’t tell me you were locked in a closet too?”

“No, but he did do it to my brother. And it was a mausoleum and not a closet.”

“Fuck.” she exhales.

“Yeah. Pretty fucked up.”

“The more we learn about each other the more often we say that.”

“Get used to it.” He huffs out a laugh. They walk for a moment in comfortable silence while Eve tried to let her defenses down against him. “You know you could’ve just... asked me to come with you ya know? I am pretty handy when it comes to navigating the city. And being a bodyguard.”

“It’s not something I’m proud of.” She shakes her head. “Yeah, Diego? Hey, could you babysit me because I’m a child who’s afraid of the dark and not a grown-ass woman who can handle her own shit?”

“Well, it’s better than you almost stabbing me!”

“And whose fault was that?”

“...your moms if you want to get really technical about it.”

She lets out a weak laugh and he feels accomplished. ”Don’t forget your dad too”

“Oh yeah fuck both of them.” He says eagerly in agreement. They share a smile and he stays close to her side. “Why are you looking for an apartment?” He breaks the silence.

“Some asshole keeps breaking into mine.”

“Seriously.” He grins and smacks her arm.

“Well I’m on salary now and it’s good money so I can afford a better place.”

“Oh. I kinda like your place.”

“I don’t hate it but it’d be nice to have some more room. An office, a view.” They stand at a corner to wait for a light change. “I’d like a place with more privacy. Maybe a doorman for safety?”

“And that apartment had all that?” He motions back with his thumb.

“Yeah, it was stupid nice for the area. I was surprised it wasn’t more-“ both their heads snap to the car that passed far too fast and close, and luckily it wasn’t them, but a bike messenger up ahead that going to be the target.

They see it happen so fast, and they’re both instinctually moving towards the man that’s now on the ground and trying not to scream, holding his leg.

They were the only ones close out of the street and rush to help.

“Ah fuck, don’t call the ambulance I dont have insurance okay?”

“Well, you’re not walking anywhere like that.” Diego states obviously.

“Lucky for you I’m a Doctor. Let me see. Can you move it?” She moves his sock down to quickly see bone through skin. “Ah man, I’m sorry to tell you this but it’s really...broken dude.” She looks at him with sympathetic eyes.

“Ah fuck.” They cry. “My boss is gonna fire me for sure now. I can’t afford to get this fixed… I can’t take time off…” they begin to hiccup and tears come quickly.

Eve stares at the trauma site and furrows her brow in thought. “Maybe I can…” she whispers.

“Doc...?” she hears Diego’s voice, a warning behind her.

“I’m gonna try. I have to.” She says with wide eyes that convince him on impact. She turns back and puts her hands on the busted ankle, “Stay still if you can.” She mutters before going into her focused state.

“What are you? Listen lady I appreciate you stopping but I don’t think praying over it is gonna work.” They offer but their voice slows as they gradually feel the pain disappear. “What the…” they turn their ankle in a circle and their jaw drops. “HOW DID? WHAT DID?”

Eve shares a very excited glance with Diego before he yanks her up. “We’ve gotta get out of here.”

“Wait no! Don’t go!” A now on their feet and the healed biker was calling out as they both ran down the street into the subway below.

She felt alive. Exhilarated. A smile on her face and hand in hand with Diego as they bobbed and swerved through the crowd.

“Did you SEE?” She calls out as they make it sliding just in time into the subway car.

“YES! You didn’t tell me you’d gotten so good!”

“I’ve been practicing!” She says out of breath and glowing from a sheen of sweat that she’d developed in the rush.

“I’d say so! You just...POOF!”

“I’ll have to show you my notes.”

“Notes?”

“I’ve been keeping track of all my attempts. Like a scientific study. Well… sort of…” she shrugs and wipes her hair back.

“You would find a way to make this nerdy.” He laughs.

“Scientific method is not nerdy!”

He laughs out loud. “That’s the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said!”

“That was awesome though right?”

“Yeah, it was risky but...awesome.” He nods in agreement as they both calm back down and move into whispers of her trial and error.

——————————-

“You just have to remember to be defensive and not just offensive.”

“You know I don’t give a shit about sports Diego.” Eve laughs as she pulls her gym bag over her shoulder.

“I’m serious! You'll get-" he insists with a whine.

"You’ll get yourself hurt when shit gets real.” She says with him and rolls her eyes. “I know! Okay?” She says with a sassy hand motioned his way. “I’ll work on it. Like I always do. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, cut me some slack.” She groans as he walks her to the front of the gym to leave.

They’re met with a thin and friendly-looking guy their age who she thought looked familiar. Diego’s body language automatically tenses.

“Oh hello there you.” Klaus coos at Eve whose bright friendly eyes don’t match Diego’s already annoyed ones at his appearance. “I didn’t know my brother would be busy with a beautiful woman tonight, my apologies.” He sweeps his hands and takes her's to kiss the back of it.

“Hi.” She stutters with surprise. “I was just leaving. Had a training session. Works got weird hours so your brother is nice enough to see me at night.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’d see a lovely thing like you anytime you wanted.”

“Let her go, Klaus.”

“What is your name before our paths separate and never meet again. I’d never forgive myself for not asking.”

“It’s Eve.” She laughs. “You’re much nicer than Diego. Do you know how to fight too? Maybe you could train me since he’s such an asshole.” She motions to Diego and Klaus lets out an amused sound.

“Alas I’m fairly useless in such things but I make up for it in other ways.” He winks.

“Okay! GOODNIGHT EVE.” Diego says politely pushing her out the door. “Sorry about Klaus He's…an idiot.”

“No apologies he's rather charming.” She teases him more and waves goodbye as she exits into her cab.

“What the fuck was that?” Diego shoves his lanky brother.

“Eve hmmm? A sexy name for a sexy little-“

“Stop it.” Diego groans.

“That’s her isn’t it?” Klaus smirks and begins to float about as Diego closes up.

“Her who?”

“Your mystery doctor.”

Diego doesn’t answer hoping naively that Klaus would stop.

“Oh come on, I’m your bro, your bud. Your pal. You can tell me.” He insists with outstretched arms.

“Yeah. I’m training her.”

“She seems like she’d be the one training you if you catch my drift.”

“It’s not like that.”

“That smile you had on your face before you realized I was watching would say otherwise.” He lilts. “You’re a terrible liar Diego just don’t try.”

“I’m a great liar!” He barks back.

“You’re shit and you should just be honest with me, I AM the psychic after all.”

“You’re not psychic you see the dead and-“

“And what is the difference?!” Klaus flops just hands at his side and follows his brother upstairs.

Diego continues as if he said nothing. “You’d have to be sober to do that so so I’m not gonna hold my breath on that.”

“I actually have been. Not that you supportive lot would notice.” He prances into the apartment behind a grunting Diego. “Because your little girlfriend is causing quite the ruckus amongst the city’s dead.”

“What?” Diego asks with a raised brow.

“She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“She almost brought one back.”

“She did…” he seems deep in contemplation for a moment. “Wait so you HAVE been sober?” Diego’s eyes turn soft and Klaus groans as he’s quickly approached and hugged.

“You are missing the point here Diego dear…”

“I’m proud of you.” He says with emotion in his voice and Klaus manages a heavy sigh and a pat to his back.

“Stop it now before I have feelings…” he pats him and pushes him away. “What do we know about this Eve? She’s messing with the balance, she’s a powerful little thing. And gorgeous I might add, I’d be keeping her to myself too. Unless she was into being shared…”

“I don’t think she is.” Diego falls back into his monotone answering after a brief glimmer of earnest emotion.

“Different strokes, different folks.” Klaus shrugs. “So is that ass as breathtaking as it looked in those leggings or-?”

“KLAUS!”

“What? I’m just a red-blooded American male, I see a nice ass, I admire it.”

“I wouldn’t KNOW.” He answers from behind the doorway of his bedroom, door left open. “But I’d have to say yes.” He adds quickly.

“Ahhhh! There he is.” Klaus applauds his brother's cheeky smile. “Now that you’re not in a prudish mood, I actually do want to know about her. Details, man! Out with it! What’s my little private dick figured out on our newest sibling?”

“Ew don’t say that.”

“I knew you wanted to fuck her.” Klaus smirks.

“Jesus Klaus!” Diego groans.

“Not that it’s stopped any of us before, cough Luther, cough.”

“Hey, we’re not biological!”

“Defending Luther now? Number one? Daddy’s goodest boy? Diego’s sworn nemesis?”

“EW! No! I’m just… saying. It’s a fact so...it’s...valid.”

“Good thing you’ve got your looks hun.” Klaus tsks.

“Do you wanna know about her or you wanna talk shit and get hit?”

“So hostile.” Klaus shakes his shoulders. “Go on you party pooper, tell me about our new super doctor.”

@s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s​ @jaegeeeeer​ @diegos-butt​ @anglovesthis

[a-second-chance-su-au]

A Second Chance AU: Everything You Need to Know (FAQ)

Overview

A Second Chance is a Crystal Gem Spinel AU, starting 625 years after Pink left her in the Garden. The Gem War rages on, and Pink has decided to come back for her old playmate. This story will follow the events of the main series but with Spinel present. Doesn’t sound like much, but I can guarantee original content, new fusions, different arcs for canon characters, comedy (hopefully), and drama!

To know more- to either read up on the AU or go to the FAQ- hit “Read More”!

The Outline

I made a post that gives all episode titles that will be involving Spinel, which can be found below. Not all episodes are listed, just the ones that Spinel affects, and therefore the ones I am going to draw. The rest of the show still happens (unless I explicitly say an episode gets skipped).

Click here to read through the episode list!

FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)

Q) When will the comic update next?

A) Fridays WHEN I CAN! Not guaranteed! I did this so that it gives myself some room to breathe, since in the past, as soon as I gave myself a due date, I lost motivation AND pushed myself way too hard to get it done. No solid due date = still fun to work on, and I don’t need to worry about making sure it’s done on time! The less stress, the better. :)

Q) Can we ask Spinel questions?

A) You sure can! I just started a new thing on here called "The Ask Chair," which can be followed @the-ask-chair-asc-au. Any character that is currently present in the comic is available for questions, and this will change as characters move in and out of the story.

Q) How much of the main story will change?

A) At first? Not a whole lot. As the story unfolds? You'll have to see. ;)

Q) Will you be remaking the Movie and Future?

A) Yes! Of course, because Spinel is a Crystal Gem, the movie is going to be COMPLETELY different, but it will still occur! As or writing this out, I have a few ideas, but nothing is set in stone yet for the movie. As for Future, Spinel will have her “goodbye” episode, as well as an impact on the plot, but I’m not sure what yet. But I am planning to do that!

Q) Will Spinel fuse with _____?

A) This varies case by case, but I can say as of right now that there are certain fusions confirmed. Spinel/Amethyst (Lavender Alexite), Spinel/Pearl (Lepidolite), Spinel/Steven (Pink “Rubellite” Tourmaline), Spinel/Lapis (Kyanite), Spinel/Alexandrite (Zoisite), and Spinel/Obsidian (Onyx) are all canon, confirmed fusions right now. There are also a few noncanon fusions, most notably Ametrine, who is a fusion between Spins and Bismuth.

Q) She fuses with Lapis? But Lapis hates fusion!

A) Yes, she does. I realized a while after I first saw the movie that she and Lapis (and Future Steven) have a LOT in common. Lapis is traumatized by fusion, but the other gems are traumatized by stuff, too, and they all got to move forward, or at least were put on that path, and I want the same thing for Lapis. I want her to be able to move on. And no; her fusion will NOT just solve all her problems, or make her trauma go away. It will prepare her for going down that path of recovery, to be part of a healthy fusion based on trust instead of hatred. I am going to handle the situation as best as I can.

Q) Can Spinel fuse with _____?

A) Sure, if you wanna draw that. ;) But in all seriousness, I’ll probably say yes unless we’re talking about Peridot. Peri doesn’t want to fuse, and I respect that. She’s the aroace rep. I mean, I’m not completely against the idea, but that fusion WILL NOT be canon in any sense.

Q) Why do Connie and Spinel not get along? Why do Amethyst and Spinel not get along? What’s her relationship with Pearl? Does she hate Greg too? Does she like Bismuth? How will she feel when she fuses? Why-

A) Spoilers. Ask if you feel brave, but if your question sounds anything like this, it’s more than likely spoilers. UNLESS it is currently being addressed, in which case, Spinel MIGHT answer you, depending. ;)

Q) What does Steven give Spinel before leaving for his road trip?

A) Oddly specific question I’ve gotten at least four times. Answer is spoilers!

Q) Hey, Spinel! Did you know that Rose and Pink were the same gem? Also Steven is going to corrupt if you don’t do anything to help him! And Connie isn’t so bad! Also Lars dies and comes back! Steven turns himself in! Amethyst-

A) She doesn’t know these asks exist, and will not respond. Please do not try and spoil her own story for her. :)

Q) Where is the comic?

A) Here, or in the archive, @a-second-chance-su-au-archive. You can also find it by going to the tag #/comic or #/the comic (but without slashes).

Q) Who is Dimond?

A) Me! The name’s @dimonds456 (yes I’m aware it’s spelled wrong, that’s a choice). Nice to meet cha! I'm a bean who doesn't know how to respond to people liking my stuff aha.

Q) May I dub your comic?

A) DUDE YES. Just send me the link when you’re done, and tag me! I would LOVE to see people dub A Second Chance! Oh, and maybe let me know you're going to do so beforehand. This is not a pressure to finish, but more for me so I don't have to worry about whether or not you stole art lol.

Q) Can I submit fanart/fanstories/ideas?

A) Yes! A lot of this blog was built on asks, and a lot of my ideas come from other people. If you have a suggestion, feel free to reach out to me. And I will NEVER say no to fanart! I may not be able to properly respond, but trust me, I adore every piece I get.

Q) [anything aimed at me that is not Spinel/AU related]

A) I will answer you privately. Or, if you’re an anon, I’ll tell you to ask my main blog, @Dimonds456. This is a Spinel AU. If we go on tangents, that’s fine, as long as it stems from something AU related.

If you want to ask Spinel anything, go ahead. Just keep it SFW, and remember that we’re all here to have fun!

Archive

Cover

Part 1

Part 2, Page 1

Episode 1: Bubble Buddies

Episode 2: Man of the Mountain

If any links are broken anywhere, let me know. :)

[schneesisterss]

oh bees schnees prompts, excellent!! au where weiss went dancing with the bees + fnki after all 💕

This got a little spicy. Thanks for the prompt! I had a great time writing it :)

You can also read it on ao3 here

Enjoy!

/////////////////////

Weiss sat at the bar in the dance club. There was a man sitting next to her, talking, trying to keep her attention. She couldn't tell you his name. His voice was muffled by the music, barely registering in Weiss’ mind. She was too transfixed by the site in front of her. Her heart thumped in rhythm with the heavy bass. On the dance floor, not twenty feet from where Weiss was watching, Blake and Yang were dancing. 

Yang had her whole front flushed against Blakes back as they moved together. Blake's hand was curled around the back of Yangs neck, tugging her in close until they were sharing air. Yang's hands roamed possessively around her hips, guiding, leading. 

Weiss was having a hard time breathing. She had known there was something going on between the two, but to see it happening right before her… Weiss squashed down the feeling of envy. She tore her eyes away with a heavy swallow just to turn and wave down the bartender. Weiss didn't drink, for obvious reasons, but right now she desperately needed a glass of water. 

Team FNKI was around here somewhere too. She vaguely remembers Neon telling her they were going to go out back for a smoke. She asked Weiss if she wanted to come, but she distractedly declined, focused solely on the movements of her teammates. 

(Neon had given her a knowing look, but Weiss didn't see it.)

Weiss doesn't know how she was convinced by the other two to tag along. She was supposed to go to the movies with Oscar and Jaune. Maybe it was the bright and hopeful look on Yang's face when she extended the invitation to Weiss. Maybe it was Blake offering to do her makeup, her smile soft but her eyes fiery. Weiss found she couldn't say no.

“-and so maybe you could come to my place tonight?”

Weiss blinked. She had actually forgotten about the man sitting next to her. 

“What?”

No-name man smirked, like he thought he was flustering her, and turned his body towards her in the chair. Weiss wrinkled her nose as the smell of his cologne wafted through the air, invading her senses. 

“Come on,” he said cockily, “let's go back to my place. I can show you a good time.”

“No thanks.” Weiss clipped, grabbing the glass of water the bartender handed her way, drinking about half, before setting it down. “I’ll pass.” 

An annoyed look passed over the man's face as he narrowed his eyes. “So what, you're not even gonna give me a chance? I even bought you a drink.”

Weiss looked down to the counter. He had bought her a drink. Granted, it was untouched and she didn't even realize it was there until he just pointed it out. He must've done that when she was… distracted earlier. 

Weiss stiffened when she felt his hand slide onto her lower back. His hands felt too big, too commanding. Weiss felt herself freeze up. 

“No.” She said firmly, straightening her spine and stepping away, only for him to follow. “Look, I'm here with my friends. I'm not interested.” 

“Lets go dance then, maybe I can change your mind.” He grabbed her wrist and tugged her forward. Weiss dug her heels into the ground.

“Let go of me!”

“Hey what's your probl-” He was cut off when a couple things happened at once. 

One, something, or rather someone, grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him backwards, sending him reeling away. And two, she was embraced with soft hands, one curling protectively around her waist and the other softly circling the same wrist the man had grabbed. It took her a couple seconds to actually register what happened.

Yang was standing in front of the man, her eyes had flickers of red bleeding into purple. 

“What the hell!” The man got up in Yang's face. 

“Back off.” Yang snarled, Weiss could tell she was holding back, if the clenched fists at her side were any indication. 

A brush of a thumb across Weiss’ wrist drew her attention to her side. Blake had wrapped herself around Weiss. Positioning herself so she was in between the man and the smaller girl. She wasn't paying attention to what was going on behind her, knowing Yang could handle it.

She was searching Weiss’ face for any sign of harm or discomfort. “Are you ok?” 

Weiss blushed, the close proximity making her stomach flop. “Yes, I'm fine. He just couldn't take a hint.”

“Why were you alone, where's Team FNKI?” Blakes eyes scanned the bar behind her. 

“Hey,” Weiss said, drawing Blakes attention back to her with a touch to the arm wrapped around her. “I’m fine, I promise. I can take care of myself you know.”

Blakes ears flattened against her head. “I know I just-”

“What’s a Schnee doing in a place like this anyways?” The man's voice was loud and irritated. Weiss felt her heart sink a little, no matter how hard she tried, she could never unlink herself to that name. He was still in Yang's face, but the other girl seemed more annoyed than angry now, her eyes back to their normal color. 

“Just leave us alone dude.”

The man squared his shoulders, sizing Yang up. Uh oh. That wasn't going to go over well.

Weiss decided to step in. She stepped around Blake, but stayed close to the Faunus so she still had her arm wrapped around her. “Look, just please go, we don't want to cause anymore trouble.” Yang took a step back to fill in the space on the other side of Weiss, bracketing her in.

The man's eyes jumped between the three of them before setting on Blake. They slide from the arm around Weiss’ middle to her ears on top of her head. He scoffs. Weiss feels Blake stiffen and Yang's aura spike.

“Seriously? This must be some type of joke. You of all people, here with a Faunus?” He laughed bitterly. “Didn't know a Schnee would stoop so low.”

Weiss felt anger swell inside her. She felt it bubble up until her face was red. She felt Yang too, her aura flaring up dangerously. She was about to step forward to give that man a piece of her mind, but before either of them could do anything, Blake stepped in front of him first. 

She leveled the man with a deadly look. Her shoulders were pushed back and the ears on top of her head were perked up, proud. Weiss always somehow forgot how tall Blake actually was. The man took half a step back. 

“Leave. Now.”

Her tone was level but Weiss could still hear the silent threat beneath it. The man must've too because he huffed giving a small “whatever” before turning and pushing his way through the crowd. 

“Asshole.” Blake muttered, turning back to her teammates. Her hand automatically reached for Yang, as if she didn't even notice she was doing it. Similarly, Yang reached her hand out as well, grasping Blake's forearm lightly, like it was second nature for them to seek each other's comfort. 

What shocked Weiss though, was that Yang had just as easily slug her other arm around Weiss’ shoulders and how Blake had yet to pull her arm away from her hip.

“Come on let's grab a table.” Yang said, leading them both away from the small crowd that had formed around them.

_____________

They found a booth in the back, one that circled all the way around making the sitting area a ‘U’ shape. Plenty of room for three people to have their own space. So, Weiss couldn't for the life of her understand why they were all squished together on one side. She wasn't necessarily complaining. Blake was in the seat closest to the opening of the table, her thighs were pressed up against Weiss’ and her heart jumped every time Blake would lean in close to talk. Yang was on her other side, arm over the back of the booth, her fingers lightly brushing against Blakes shoulder. Weiss could feel Yang's heat radiating off her, making her want to lean back into her chest, tuck her face into her neck. Weiss felt something in her chest. Something that was definitely toeing over the friendship line. 

Weiss was having a hard time concentrating to say the least. She can hear her teammates having a conversation, the music less loud being further away. She thinks they’re talking about Ironwood? She should probably focus. 

“I don't know Blake, it just feels wrong, hiding everything.” Yang's voice. “Atlas should be prepared, even if that means telling the people in charge.” 

Weiss heard Blake sigh. “Could we not talk about this now?”

Yang raised her hands in fake surrender. “Alright, alright.” She lifted her glass of water to her mouth, finishing off the rest. 

Blake must've noticed they were all running low because she gets up and gathers their glasses. “I’ll go get us some more water.”

Weiss nodded in response. For a few minutes they sit there quietly, listening to the subtle thump of the music. Weiss feels a hand on her thigh, warm and gentle, but also firm.

“You ok there, princess?”

Weiss jumped when she felt Yang's breath ghost over the shell of her ear. Yang's arm had moved from the top of the seat and now rested on her shoulders pulling her in. Weiss wanted to lean in, to tilt her head to give Yang access to her neck. Yang's proximity and this realization made her breath hitch. She wasn't looking at Yang's face but she was pretty sure she was smirking. 

“I’m perfectly fine. Just.. thinking.”

“Oh yea? About what?” Yang's low tone made her look over. Her eyes were somewhat lidded as she scanned Weiss’ face. When Weiss swallowed, she watched Yang's eyes track the movement down her throat. Weiss felt like she was on fire. 

Weiss exhaled as she tried to come up with a response. 

“I..”

“Hey guys! Whats up?”

Weiss jerked back from Yang and whipped around. Neon and Flint had made their way over to the table, inviting themselves to sit on the other side of the booth. 

“Hey you two.” Yang said casually, as if her and Weiss hadn’t been close to making out a few seconds ago. “Where's Kobalt and Ivori?”

Flint responded, “Went home, they have a mission tomorrow they need to prepare for.” Yang hummed in response. 

Neon leaned over the table resting on her elbows as she looked at Yang. “How's your night going firecracker?” She asked with a wink. 

Weiss bristled. Yang let out a chuckle. “It's been interesting for sure.” 

Weiss looked up when Blake silently returned, setting down their glasses on the table. She gave only a slight “hey guys” to Flint and Neon before settling back into Weiss’ side, not wanting to interrupt the conversation. 

“Well with you, things are always interesting I'm sure.” Neon said, with a flirtatious wave of her hand. Weiss had to suppress an eye roll. Really? 

“Something wrong kitty-cat?” Apparently, Blake didn't bother suppressing the urge.

It was Blake’s turn to bristle. “No, nothing.” Blake’s body language told her otherwise.

Neon's eyes scanned the three of them, a small, mischievous smile made its way into her face. 

“What do you say firecracker, wanna hit the dance floor?” 

Somehow, Weiss felt all three of them tense up. No. Absolutely not. Weiss thought. But who was she to tell Yang otherwise? She wasn't her girlfriend. Weiss sat back, leaning into Yang's arm, bitterly glaring at the girl across the table, but didn’t say anything. Weiss snuck a glance at Blake. She had a neutral expression on her face but her ears were pinned back defensively. 

(Blakes ears always gave up what she was feeling, even if her face never did. Weiss would think later about how pretty she looks without her bow.)

Before anyone snapped though, Yang spoke up to answer Neon's question. 

“Actually, the three of us were just about to go dance. Maybe next time?” Yang added the last part out of courtesy. 

Neon however, didn't seem too hurt by this statement at all as she sat back in the booth. She scanned over the three with a small smirk on her face. 

“Don't worry, I get it.”

“Get what?” Weiss heard her voice go up an octave and tried not to cringe. 

Neon just casually shrugged, looking pointedly at the places the three girls were linked together. Blakes body leaning into Weiss, Weiss tucked closely into the crook of Yang's side, Yang's arm hanging loosely over both of their shoulders, completing the circle. 

Neon threw them all a wink then turned to her partner. “Come on Flynt, I don't think we’re invited on their date.” 

Flynt chucked and tipped his hat to the other three. “Have a great night ladies. Get out there, that dance floor is waiting for you.”

The three girls watched the two walk away in shock. It was a few minutes before one of them spoke again.

“So,” Blake cleared her throat, “you guys wanna go dance?”

“Yes.”

“Oh absolutely.”

_________________

It started out light and fun. The three girls moving around happily with each other to the music, giggling and poking fun. Yang was a surprisingly great dancer. She was showing off her moves while Blake laughed behind her hand and Weiss pretended to be annoyed. 

That changed when the music did. Going from upbeat and poppy, to low and sultry with a heavy base line. They were already standing close to one another. Weiss felt the atmosphere around them change instantly. 

Blake, to Weiss’ surprise, made the first move. Stepping in close and pulling Weiss in by the hips so they were facing each other. Weiss instinctively raised her hands to Blakes shoulders, palms resting on her collarbones. 

Blake bent over a bit and Weiss had to tilt her head back so she could keep eye contact. She felt Blakes heart hammering against her palm. She slid her hands up and around Blakes neck, locking them together. 

She was so focused on the girl in front of her that she didn't notice Yang coming up from behind. She gasped when Yang's warm front pressed against her. She yanked Weiss’ hips back into hers, Blake being dragged forward in the process too, until they were all melded together. 

Yang started to move, swaying slowly behind her, her hands encouraging Weiss to follow her movements. Weiss felt heat in her chest, filling her up then poring lower. Her hands tightened around Blakes neck and pulled her impossibly closer until their legs slotted together. 

Weiss’ senses were overloaded as two sets of hands were on her body. Yangs’ stayed grounded on her hips, controlling how she moved. They squeezed and rubbed, but stayed there, radiating heat. She was having a more difficult time keeping track of Blakes hands. Currently, one was on her rib cage and the other was sliding up, up, until long fingers held her chin. When they tightened and forced her head up, she closed her eyes and exhaled heavily, too overwhelmed. She could feel Blakes breath on her face. 

When she felt a hand leave her hip she forced her eyes open. She watched with lidded eyes as Yang reached over her to grip the back of Blakes neck over her own hands. Even if she couldn't see Yang, she could tell the two girls were giving each other heated eyes, if Blakes jaw-slacked look was any indication. 

Unable to stop herself, Weiss leaned forward and ran her tongue along Blakes exposed collar bone. She heard the Faunus gasp loudly. 

“Hey.” Yang's voice was hoarse. “As much as I want this to continue, we’re drawing a crowd.”

That seemed to lift the haze over Weiss’ eyes momentarily. She looked around. There was a fair amount of people staring at the three. Weiss did her best to shoot them all an irritated look. 

Blake took a half step back, but didn’t pull away completely. Weiss watched with interest as she and Yang had a silent conversation over her shoulder. Apparently they came to a non-verbal agreement and when Blake looked back to Weiss, Yang was already pulling away. 

“Lets go outside?” 

Weiss couldn't use her words just yet, so instead, she wrapped her hand around Blakes wrist, the one that was now cupping her face, and nodded. 

Yang grabbed Blakes hand leading them away. Blake put her other arm around Weiss and pulled her close to her side as they walked outside, ignoring all the eyes that followed them. 

____________

The cold Atlas air felt great on Weiss’ skin. She hadn't realized how sweaty the three of them got in there. They were in the back alley behind the dance club, she could still hear the muffled music coming from the closed door. The only light shining from the broken moon above them, dimly lighting the alleyway. 

The three were only outside for a few seconds before Weiss was pushed lightly into the brick wall behind her. She looked up to see Blake, arms placed on either side of her head on the wall. She watched the other girl swallow heavily as her eyes were locked onto Weiss’ lips. 

“What do you think kitten?” Yang wrapped both of her arms around Blakes middle and rested her chin on her shoulder. 

Blake tilted her head a bit, never looking away from Weiss’ face. Even with the cold air around them, Weiss still felt hot under the pair's heated gaze. 

Finally finding her voice, Weiss started to speak up. 

“I…” She took a breath and tried again. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to take it so far, I just..” Weiss felt too many emotions bubble up inside her. Most notably, longing. 

She grabbed the lapels of Blakes coat and pulled her in. “I want you.” She found she couldn't speak above a whisper. The raw emotion in her voice making it hard to breath. She looked over Blakes shoulder to look at Yang. “Both of you.”

Weiss’ chest felt tight from being so open, vulnerable. She didn't plan for this to take an emotional turn. She felt tears well up in her eyes, threatening to spill over. 

It was Yang that bridged the gap this time, reaching out with her robotic arm to cup Weiss’ face gently, running her thumb over her cheek to wipe away a stray tear. 

“We want you too.” Though Yang spoke it quietly, Weiss heard it as a scream. Relief washed over her in waves. She took a shaky breath and more tears spilled from her eyes. 

Blake gently pulled her in to rest Weiss’ head in the crook of her neck as she cried softly. Weiss gripped the back of Blakes coat and reached out blindly with her other hand to do the same to Yangs, fisting the front of her shirt and pulling her closer, until they were all huddled together in an embrace. 

They stayed there until Weiss’ tears had dried and her white-knuckled grip on the two loosened. She pulled away and looked them both in the eyes, noticing that both sets were watery. 

“Okay.” She said softly as Yang pressed her forehead into hers. “Okay.”

They all jumped when suddenly the alarms blared through the streets of Mantel. Lights turning red around them, signaling trouble.

“Shit,” Blake said through gritted teeth, looking around, “Grimm.”

They all looked back at one another, taking a moment to cherish the last couple seconds they had. 

Weiss straightened up and nodded at the two. “Okay.” Determination heavy in her voice. They all turned to run from the alley, loading their weapons in the process. 

Later, they would have time, just for them. Right now, it was time to do their jobs.

[apex-academy]

Chapter 5: Caring Is a Hazard to Your Health (#27)

We keep shuffling through the room, and I make sure to check behind the file cabinet with Mahavir’s help, but nothing new is turning up. That’s all right. Wasn’t really expecting anything. 

“So, we good?”

“Yeah, I think we’ve checked everything.”

“Thanks for tagging along.”

“No prob, brah.”

“...”

“Are we going to rejoin the others? I’d like to rest for a bit, but that still requires a group, so to speak.”

“I wouldn’t mind settling down for a while.”

“Like, I still got sports ‘n’ stuff to talk about?”

“I might stick with that side ‘f things.”

“Okay. Guess we’re moving the groups around after all. Think you can make it to the gym, Mahavir?”

“Yes.”

Awful lot of trouble, but off we go. Yuki and, surprisingly, Aidan end up joining our “group” to split up in the dorms. All very exciting.

“...”

Guess I’ll be spending a lot of time in here. It’s roomy, at least. The bath’s fine. Conditions could certainly be worse.

Aside from the killing game.

It’s fine. I can’t see everyone respecting the lockdown rules 24/7, but if the opportunities to kill are still harder to come by... we shouldn’t have much to worry about, right?

...

Yuki, Mahavir, and I have our last cooking lesson for a while, with Tsunyasha hanging around to round out the arrangement. I’d like to think I’m getting better at this, but...

Considering where I started, that may not mean much.

...

“Hello, students! It is now nighttime, so, um! Don’t try to go in the cafeteria or anything, and don’t sleep anywhere but the dormitories! I-I’ll see you in the morning…!”

...

“Um, hello! Good morning! It is now 7:00, so the off-limits areas have been reopened! And, um! You have three days left if you want to save your loved ones! Everyone do your best today…!”

Don’t appreciate the countdown to death there. But I guess it’s also our countdown to going back to normal. 

Well, whatever counts as normal in this place.

Kind of have to wonder what “normal” would even be for us without all of this happening. Considering the people in this class, I doubt it would be any closer to “ordinary”. I can only wonder who’s supposed to be in that resident director office. Are they used to managing crowds like this? I’m sure Apex Academy has turned out its fair share of eccentrics, but it’s hard to imagine this class isn’t full of top runners.

Anyway. I’d better get to breakfast.

I ready myself for the day and head out. Guess I put the speed on today, because I’m the first one in the hall. Then again, half of us are seriously injured, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.

I start for the main set of doors and reach for a handle. My usual amount of hesitation may be a boon today, because there’s a holler from behind before I can touch it.

“Hey, hey, hang on!!”

I pull back and turn around.

“Good morning to you, too?”

Aidan, still only halfway through his door, pants for a second before wheeling himself farther along.

“Er, yes, that, too, thank you.”

“Anyway, I believe I stated we would all gather before leaving the dorm area for breakfast, so if you don’t mind...”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

I step back just in time for more of us to start filtering in.

“Goooooood morning, everybody!”

“Good morning...”

“Everybody ready to have A Day?”

“Do we have a choice?”

Tsunyasha, when she comes, attempts to shoulder past me.

“Excuse me?”

“If you insist. Consider this a pardon.”

“...”

“What? Do you truly expect me to kowtow to some sinner’s demands?”

“Yes, we do.”

“Goodness.”

“The foolishness in this building is even worse than I had imagined.”

“As fair as that might be, do you mind staying back for one more minute?”

“We only have one more person to wait on.”

“The legless one, yes? I’ve no particular need to greet him.”

“Rude.”

A sudden ripping noise makes me turn around. Aside from Aidan guarding the door with his back to us—guess it’s easier than trying to wheel himself around the other way—nothing seems off.

“Is everything all right...?”

“I think so?”

“Yes, as far as I can tell. At any rate, we might as well keep up conversation.”

“Okay! Does anybody wanna play a game?”

“I spyyyyyy...”

“There’s nothing to spy except doors and each other.”

“Yup!”

Well, he’s sure not disappointed, somehow.

Before he can try to stir up a rousing game of I Spy regardless, Tsunyasha goes over to Kaichi’s door and knocks loudly.

“Fool! Are you yet slumbering?”

So she... is cooperating?

For now. I’m sure she’ll give it up soon enough.

“Let the dude sleep if he wants.”

“Not an option at the moment, I’m afraid. Even if Mister Riseiin will have to go off notes, he is needed at the meetings.”

“Are we discussing x-rays today?”

“My ankle is fine.”

“I doubt that’s the issue.”

“Er, no, I only mean that everyone needs to be present. We’ve gone over this, haven’t we?”

“Uh...”

“I think so!”

Just before Tsunyasha tries to rip the whole doorknob off, Kaichi’s door opens.

“ ‘s there a fire ‘r something, brah?”

“No, you’ve a while yet before you face the pits of Hell.”

“Sweet.”

“Are all of the notes on your door intact, Mister Riseiin?”

Kaichi ducks back to check.

“Looks like?”

“Good. Are we all ready to go, then?”

“Ummm-hummm...”

She heaves a sigh. “At long last, yes.”

The procession heads to the cafeteria, then halves for the kitchen. Apparently Kaichi and I are the guest chefs today, with Yuki and Mahavir at their normal stations. Better than everyone trying to cook in here at once.

And certainly better than trusting Tsunyasha and Ichiriki to make my food for me.

Eventually we settle down for the meeting. Still have a lot of cooking to do after we get through the agenda, though.

“...”

“...”

“Are we... starting the meeting at some point?”

Aidan looks up from his toast.

“Of course! Excuse me.”

He clears his throat.

“All right! Is everyone ready to get down to business?”

“I do wonder, do you even intend to ask anyone besides yourself for announcements this time?”

“If you have anything that goes against our current emergency plan, then no, I would prefer you not announce it or otherwise go through with it!”

“But if there’s anything else of importance, by all means, feel free to announce it!”

“Hmph. What a farce.”

“Kay, if we’re, like, done bashing on each other for no reason?”

“IT’S SPORTS DAY, BABY!″

“A whole day, huh.”

“That’s correct! We’ll begin in the gym, with the possibility of moving on to some other rooms depending on how long the event lasts!”

“You don’t know?”

“We’ll pretty much have the event until one or more of us need to leave, so it’s hard to be sure, yes.”

“Considering certain parties, I’d like to hope we’ll at least be able to start on those terms.”

“By ‘certain parties,’ you mean Tsunyasha, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Yo, Tsuntsun? If you screw this up for us, like, I will beat the crap outta you. Just sayin’.”

“No threats!!!”

“Oh? Don’t you wish you could do such a thing, whelp.”

“Dude, I don’t care what kinda assassin you are, you’re totally not invincible.”

“Like, with all the fancy holy stuff prolly at least mostly? But not totally.”

“How impious.”

“It would be nice if you cooperated, though...”

“We don’t have that many opportunities... to have fun like this, you know?”

“Hmph. I need not bend to your whims.”

“Do you want some dorayaki...?”

“...An exchange could be suitable.”

What a trump card.

“Okay! Once we’ve prepared all our food for the day, we’ll return to our rooms for a few minutes before the sports begin.”

“So we doing, like, Jap’nese school sports festival stuff ‘r what?”

“That would be, like, super fancy?!”

“A bit ambitious for our current situation, I’m afraid.”

“We’ll just have some games that should be manageable for those interested in participating.”

“And plenty of room for those who prefer to watch.”

“Oh, oh!!! Are you gonna do the color commententating?”

“No. He is not.”

“...”

“Aw...”

“But yeah, we got, like, a list of stuff to try and go through?”

“Should I read ‘em off, or should it be a surprise? Hmm...”

“Considering the high likelihood we won’t get through all of them, it may be less disappointing to keep it a surprise.”

“Tru.”

“Is there any setup beforehand?”

“Not really. At least, not for the first event. There may be some setup after that, but we’ll have time to work on it then without keeping everyone waiting.”

I was more concerned about a group going off ahead of time, but I guess that answers the question.

“Any more questions?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“All right! We’ll have a good deal of time left in the meeting to get the rest of our meals prepared, so if there are any other concerns or announcements, feel free to bring them up anytime!”

“Until then, that’s all I have to say.”

I turn back to my breakfast.

Sports Day, huh? I have to wonder what most of us can do in our condition. But I guess it’s not a bad idea. Get some team spirit going, or something.

Better than sitting around alone thinking about that little sliver of a possibility Monochap’s going to follow through on his threat if no one dies.

“...”

Well, it won’t do me much good to think about it surrounded by people, either. Let’s just keep moving.

[BACK] [NEXT]

[niyes-lahiffe]

Soapy Decks and Flying Underwear

IT’S BAAAACK!!

Ao3

1 | 2

Chapter 3: Markets Hate Pirates

Ok, Nino knew he had just claimed to his entire crew that he would immediately sail to the destination the map led them to, but he realized the longer he looked at it, the less sense it made. Of course he was still beaming as bright as the sun itself, but he went downstairs to see if he could have any better luck in a slightly different environment.

He had been down there for quite a while when he started hearing thumps on the wooden floor above, followed by muffled cheering. His crewmates were certainly having the time of their lives with their excessive celebrating, and their happiness only rekindled the giddy feeling the captain had in his chest. His smile turned into a grin when the trapdoor opened and his best friend came down the steps.

“You should come up and celebrate with us, Nino!” Adrien offered as he took his place before the captain. “Can’t you look away from that map for one second, man?”

“But-“

“No buts, sir, a break will definitely be good for you.” Adrien winked at him, pulling out his sword and using the tip of it to gently lower the map from the captain’s hands. “Kim and Luka are wrestling right now and it’s quite hilarious.”

Nino snickered. “And Luka isn’t a pile of pulp yet?”

“Nope! He’s handling it surprisingly well.” The co-captain leaned against a barrel and his smile turned into a perplexed frown when he looked inside it. “Yo, Cap?”

“What is it, dude?”

“We’re out of oranges.”

Nino stood up abruptly, half-exaggerated, and hissed, “We’re what?”

“Truly unfortunate,” Adrien played along while scratching his chin. “Looks like we’re gonna have to restock.”

Nino placed his fingers to his chin in thought. “Actually, it really has been a while.” He laughed slightly. “We’ve been so caught up in everything that we’ve failed to realize we’re nearly out of everything.”

“It’ll be a good break for you, too,” his best friend agreed. “Wanna give the decks a good clean as I steer us to the market?”

“Ooooh you know I do!”

------------------------------

“Wow, nice parry!” Alya complimented her crewmate as she deftly dodged another one of the attacks from his wooden blunted sword.

“Thanks!” Nathaniel responded happily, proud to be complimented by his captain.

His succession threw him off, however, and he was distracted enough that he was unable to defend himself in time when Alya suddenly dropped to a squat and kicked at his legs, knocking him off balance. He grunted when he fell to the floor and frowned when the tip of Alya’s fake sword pointed at his throat.

“Don’t forget to be prepared for anything, though,” she smirked. Nathaniel huffed but graciously accepted her extended hand to help him back up.

“One day I’ll be as good as you,” he said, patting himself to rid of the dust.

“Maybe,” she teased. Alya glanced around at the rest of her crewmates to observe their fighting tactics, pleased with what she saw. Kagami and Max were definitely her best fighters, and seeing them duel was something else. Everyone else of course battled to the best of their ability, and she was indeed impressed, but it was almost entrancing to watch her two most skilled battlers duel.

“Yo, Captain!” A voice sounded from above, knocking her from her trance. Alya looked up to see Alix poking her head out from her post. When she noticed she had the captain’s attention, she called, “We’re about to pass a local market; wanna stop for a little bit to restock and check out their wares?”

Alya walked to the edge of her ship and looked out to see land up ahead. She nodded and turned back to her lookout. “Sure! Probably is a good idea before we head out to find the Jade Turtle.”

“You got it, Cap!”

Marinette appeared beside Alya and gave the captain her wooden sword. “I can steer us there real quick, if you’d like!”

“Sounds good to me, girl.” Alya smiled as Marinette saluted playfully and went on her way to the steering wheel.  

------------------------------

The moment the boat was parked at a nearby dock, Kim nearly bolted off before Nino was able to get a firm grip of his shoulder. His crewmate looked back at him, perplexed if not a tad miffed.

Nino smirked at him. "I get that you're excited, Kim, but I need you on boat duty, remember?"

"WHAT?!"

"I can't have anyone stealing this boat or anything inside while we're at the market," the captain explained as he folded his arms. He winked and continued before Kim could open his mouth to protest. "You should consider yourself lucky, since I can only rely on someone I know will truly take good care of this ship."

Kim was obviously flustered by the compliment but was still ornery as he folded his arms and turned away.

"Dooon't worry, Kim, you won't be here all day," Nino snickered, and Kim visibly perked. "I'll have Luka take your place after half the day has passed."

Next to him, Luka froze and said, "Wait, what?"

Nino nodded.

"Why can't Luka and I switch spots so I can go now?" Kim objected.

"Kim, you're great but I don't trust you to remember to come back when you should." Adrien and Luka both had a small coughing fit as they laughed while Kim merely smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Eh, you're right," the lookout finally gave in. "You can count on me, Cap."

"Knew I could," Nino grinned, punching the other pirate playfully in the shoulder before he and the rest of his crew marched off the deck and into the already bustling streets of the marketplace.

As much as Nino loved sailing the seas on his beloved vessel, he always forgot how much he loved exploring bits of the land, too. The welcoming sights and smells drew him in and soon he was lost in the crowd. Adrien still tagged along with him, as he usually did, but Nino quickly lost the rest of his crew, though had full confidence that they would return to his boat by the end of the day.

Now, he had time to enjoy this.

Merchants left and right were yelling encouragingly about their wares to the wandering potential customers, the smell of freshly cooked bread and meat filled the air, children were playing game after game, and the streets bustled with energy as everyone moved back and forth between booths.

Nino and Adrien wandered between booths themselves, gawking at the beautiful jewelry that was far too expensive, and laughing at ones that were in odd shapes. A nearby commotion grabbed both of their attentions, and they both knew one of the ornery voices well.

"HEY! How dare you; I had my eye on that comb!" Chloe suddenly barked at the beautiful young woman standing next to her, who seemed to have just purchased an item: a golden, bee-shaped comb, and Chloe apparently wanted it desperately. The other girl may have been pretty, but despite her adorable freckles, bright blue eyes and bobbed haircut, her glare was nearly sharp enough to slice Chloe to pieces, not to mention the sword on her back undoubtedly would do that if the conversation got any more heated.

"Really? Well, I believe I just bought it first. Good luck next time, and good day." Before the other pirate could wander away, Chloe protested loudly and cut into her path, not allowing her to leave. Adrien leaped forward and grabbed Chloe as her sudden rival finally reached for the sword on her back, and Nino noticed a dark-skinned pirate do the same to the other woman with a, "Whoa whoa whoa, Kagami."

"Chloe, please," Adrien begged, pulling his snarling friend closer to him. "I'm sure we can negotiate. Nicely."

Chloe groaned, "Ugh...fine." She took a deep breath. "Can I have the comb." Adrien poked her harshly in the side and she grunted in pain and annoyance. "Please."

Kagami gave her a long, hard look, before finally replying, "What's in it for me?"

"Alright, I've got money." Chloe reached into her satchel and pulled out a wad of cash, leaning forward to give it to the other pirate. "Here."

"Wait." Kagami ignored the money and reached for Chloe's hand, staring intently at the jewelry on her fingers. "I'll give you the comb for this ring."

"Wait, seriously? I'll have you know this ring is very impor-OW!" She growled at Adrien, who had poked her once again. "Fine, FINE. Take the stupid ring!" The blonde pirate pulled the ring off her finger and Kagami gladly gave her the comb for it. Then, they both turned without saying a word and walked off.

Adrien and Nino nodded at each other, satisfied with the exchange as well. Chloe was definitely a lot of work, but Nino was extremely grateful she had a soft spot for Adrien.

------------------------------

"Oh WOW!"

Alya and Marinette stared in surprise at the tiny pirate with short, blond hair and the brightest blue eyes either had ever seen that had approached them.

“Your necklace is so pretty!” she continued, and she blushed when she looked up and noticed their confused yet amused expressions. “OH my bad; I should probably introduce myself.” She giggled. “My name’s Rose!”

Smiling, Alya nodded at her, saying, “Nice to meet you, Rose, I’m-“

“Totally rocking that necklace!!” Rose threw her arms toward her chest giddily as she admired the piece of jewelry. She nearly squealed when she noticed Trixx sitting next to Alya, and she leaned towards the fox excitedly. “Oh my goodness, you have a pet fox, too?! That’s amazing!” Rose reached her arm forward to give Trixx a pat.

Alya lifted a finger quickly. “OH, uh, better be careful, he tends to bite those he doesn’t-“

Trixx accepted Rose’s hand happily and even nuzzled into her arm.

“-know…” Alya lowered her finger as Marinette stared at the smaller pirate in surprise.

Alix suddenly appeared by her crewmates, laughing at the scene before her.

“Oh, Alix, good to see you!” Alya exclaimed. “I’m putting you on fox duty.”

Alix’s smile vanished and her eyes turned incredulous. “WHAT? No way, first boat duty, now this? I’d rather lick a toad!”

As if on command, Trixx, after Rose had said a sweet goodbye, wandered up to Alix and happily wagged his tail at her.

Alya bumped Alix’s shoulder with her own, wiggling her eyebrows. “C’mon, girl, I know you love it.”

“Fine, whatever…” Alix grumbled, though her small smile did not go unnoticed. “Come on, Trixx.” She took off, no doubt intending to cause some more mischief, and the fox followed suit.

“Yo, Rose!” A timid voice from behind sounded. Alya and Marinette turned to see a tall pirate with purple highlights holding up some sort of pink jewel. The girl she called for perked. “Come look at this.”

“Ooooh, coming!” Rose turned back to her new acquaintances and in one breath she said, “It was wonderful to meet you and your fox and I hope you have a good rest of your day, bye!” With that, she took off, leaving a smiling Marinette and Alya to shake their heads fondly.

“That has got to be the most adorable pirate I’ve ever met,” Marinette quipped.

“Speaking of adorable…” Alya felt a smirk steadily growing, peering at her best friend mischievously. “Maybe coming here if the perfect chance to find a cute man for you!”

Marinette’s cheeks turned bright red and she stiffened. “WHAT?”

“Girl, you’re always complaining about being single! Now’s your chance!” as Marinette became a blubbering mess, Alya took a second to look around. “Look, there’s a cute one right there!” she pointed towards a tall, good-looking man with long, blonde hair a few yards away, happily  chatting with a darker-skinned friend of his.

The only response Marinette was able to make was a mortified garble, and Alya turned to find her friend’s face buried in her hands.

The captain took Marinette’s hands and lowered them, and when she looked up with uncertainty, Alya winked cheekily. “You’ll thank me later.” Without any further warning, She grabbed Marinette’s arm and threw her at the boy.

Much to Alya’s delight, Marinette stumbled right into him. Clearly surprised, he placed his hands on her elbows for support and gave the girl a peculiar look.

“I’M-You’re- PRETTY! I-I mean uh! I’m pretty sorry! I’m just...super clumsy…ha…” Marinette managed to stutter out.

The boy blinked a few times before he smiled like the sun. “Oh, it’s no worries at all, m’lady!” He bowed and kissed her hand, giving her a wink when he looked back up.

Marinette looked like she was about to explode.

Alya stood next to the other boy this flirt was talking with before and said, “Wow, I almost regret doing that.”

“Dude…Adrien’s a hopeless sap but I’ve never seen him that romantic before.” The pirate beside her shook his head while laughing softly. “Boy’s suddenly got it bad.”

“So does Marinette.” Though her face was still redder than a cherry, Marinette was clearly very happy with Adrien’s actions and she was giggling up a storm. “I feel SICK.”

“Maybe we should leave them to themselves for a bit,” the other boy suggested. She nodded and together they turned and pushed themselves through crowds a ways away. When they decided to stop in a fairly secluded area, accompanied by a few chairs and booths that weren’t as popular as the others, he turned to Alya and looked her up and down with a small smile. “Name’s Nino, by the way.” He held out his hand.

“Alya,” she replied, giving him a smirk of her own and her hand to shake firmly. She glanced at his back at said, “Is that a mandolin I see, pretty boy?”

“It is indeed.” Nino pulled the instrument off his back and gave it a few playful plucks. “Why are you interested in this?”

“I just want to see how good you are with music,” Alya said. She pulled her own lute from her pouch pocket and twirled it between her fingers, giving her new companion a wink.

His golden eyes grew challenging. “I’ll only show you my… incredible skills if you show me yours.”

She threw him a look just as determined. “But of course!”

------------------------------

To say Kim was ecstatic to finally be off boat duty was an understatement. The moment Luka arrived to swap places, Kim nearly created smoke behind with how quickly he dashed off, but it made his crewmate laugh hysterically nonetheless.

Nino and Alya both watched as Kim ran up to a booth selling bread. The look-out grabbed an entire loaf and nearly shoved the whole thing into his mouth, but Chloe snatched it from his hands before he could do so and whacked it upon the top of his head.

"Kim, you brute!" she scolded. "You know you need to pay for that!"

Nino was nearly beaming with sudden pride.

"But I'm a pirate!" The captain nearly laughed at Kim's sudden puppy dog pout.

"That is no excuse. You have money in that wallet and I know it."

A short, pink-haired spunky-looking pirate walked by Kim and waved his beloved wallet in the air. "Yeah, there's tons of money in this. Better keep a close eye on it so no one, say... snatches it." Her smug smile and Kim's dumbfounded face and intense patting of his rear to make sure his wallet was actually gone made Nino snort. Beside him Alya snickered, as well.

"Wh-HEY! You get back here, you punk!" And just like that, they both were gone in a flash.

Nino thought he might've seen something orange chase after them, as well, but the moment he blinked his eyes and squinted to make sure, it was gone.

------------------------------

As the sky began to turn a brilliant shade of pink and orange, Alya playfully bumped shoulders with her companion as she put her instrument away, and he soon followed suit.

"Thanks for the fun time," he chided. "We were so good that that one couple gave us a tip!"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Ivan and Mylene give tips to just about anyone." She looked back at him. "But still, I clearly was better than you."

He faked a pout. There was just something about this woman that really brought out his competitive side. "I'd beg to differ."

Alya scoffed at him. "If you keep talking, you'll be begging, alright."  As Nino blinked a few times at her, she began to walk away, clearly putting a significant sway in her hips as she went. "My companions and I have an important journey to prepare for."

She stopped in her tracks and turned her head with a small smile. "Hopefully, our paths will cross again."

Nino nodded in agreement and made sure to add a quick wink before she looked away. She simply laughed at him as she continued her jaunt away, and Nino caught himself smiling brightly.

Wait.

Was that a fox that just leaped onto her shoulders?

Nino quickly rubbed his eyes and leaned forward to get a better look, but Alya was long lost in the sudden crowd.

What was he doing? He couldn't keep his mind occupied on that. His crew had a mission to fulfill. Nino headed back to his boat, the excitement about what was to come already invigorating his entire spirit. This was finally something the Coral Crew couldn't butt their nosy lives into. This was finally something only he and his crew would enjoy.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Side Effects ch.1 (baon)

Summary: In the aftermath of from the events in 'Internal Disputes' and 'Bedside Stories', the fallout has an effect on everyone and they all have their own issues to deal with.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Fluff

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Waking up alone was not unusual in the scheme of things. That was most days and even on weekends the bed next to Stretch would usually be empty by the time he was ready to roll out for the day. Which wasn’t to say he’d never been awakened early by an amorous and handsy Edge, ready for a different kind of wakeup call, but Stretch tended to fall back asleep afterward. In his humble opinion, it wasn’t worth getting out of bed until there was some form of light outside and that was a fact that Stretch was willing to stand by, with plenty of Twitter polls on his side.

So when he reached out sleepily to sweep a hand over the sheets, he wasn’t exactly surprised when the only thing that greeted his touch was 1000-thread count sheets. A little disappointed, yeah, a smidge grouchy, absolutely, but definitely not surprised.

Stretch sighed and rolled over to give the ceiling fan a good stare. It only stayed in place innocently, the fan blades not pausing one whit at his mood. Which, to be fair, Stretch wasn’t exactly sure he could even classify his current mood; right now it was more a jambalaya than any single ingredient. What a week.

After the kitchen crisis, once Edge got his fill of groping Stretch’s soul, they’d gone upstairs, Stretch helping Edge to hop along for once rather than gathering up his crutches. That’d been a comedy of errors right there, they’d probably looked like some kind of tortured three-legged race, hobbling along. They’d gone right to bed, do not pass go, skip the two-hundred, and lain there wrapped around each other, Edge still petting his sternum even though his soul was no longer visible. Stretch really had no idea when he’d fallen asleep or when Edge crept out of bed, but it must’ve been a fun trip downstairs without his crutches. Hopefully not a literal one.

Stretch gave up on his contemplation of the ceiling fan to glance at his phone. The time made him blink. After using so much magic to heal Red, he’d been expecting to sleep in ‘til noon before guiltily creeping out to feed the ladies. But unless he’d accidentally changed the time zone, it was only nine o’clock. Huh. Magic drain was exhausting and he hadn’t eaten so much as a piece of burnt toast afterward and yet, he didn’t feel tired. Honestly, he almost felt energized, ready to get up and face the day.

Was this how Edge always felt in the morning? That was kind of terrifying. No wonder only half of the brotherly teams got to be energetic, hell, just thinking about Red waking up with his battery fully charged was giving him the creeps, he’d probably try to take over the world.

Thinking of that little pain-in-the-ass goblin made him wince. He really hoped Red was doing okay. There were no text messages waiting for him, but maybe Edge knew.

Welp, may as well get up and go find out. Maybe they’d be going on with the shitty continuation of opposite week, where he got to be the protective one, Edge got to lay around all day, and both of them would be a lot happier when things got back to normal.

The bedroom was a little chilly outside the toasty warm blankets, enough that he scrambled over to where his bathrobe was hung on the back of the bedroom door. Stretch slipped it on over his bare bones. Real clothes could come after coffee. He opened the door and that was when he heard muffled voices that were definitely not from the television. Kinda early for reasonable visitors and Stretch tightened the belt on his bathrobe, no point in giving a free show, and peered downstairs to see what sort of nefarious characters decided to drop by this time.

Honestly, they needed one of those prohibited door signs, except they could cross off ‘solicitors’ and write in ‘drama’. Stretch had pretty much had his fill of that sort of excitement, thanks.

But nefarious probably wasn’t the best way to describe the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Monsters who were standing at their kitchen door with Edge. Familiar Monsters, actually, Stretch thought they worked at the Embassy. In their hands were mops and carriers loaded with cleaning supplies. Their pointed ears swiveled in his direction and they looked up in unison, both giving him a wave as they went into the kitchen, although what the hell that wary look was for, he wasn’t sure. Usually he wasn’t considered the scary skeleton in the closet in this relationship.

Usually.

Edge was leaning on his crutches and as soon as Stretch got a good look, relief flooded his soul. He was looking pretty bright-eyed himself even minus the tail, and his smile was warm.

“Good morning, love.” Edge called up. There was no sign left of his near-breakdown the night before, so maybe a snuggly night’s sleep did him some good. Firmly competent looked like the phrase of the day and Stretch was down with that, he really was.

30 seconds on the stairs seemed like a criminal waste of time this morning and Stretch shortcutted down instead, very nearly right on top of Edge. He happily ignored his husband’s exasperated sigh, stealing a kiss before he murmured, “mornin’. what’s going on?”

Not that he couldn’t guess, they probably weren’t using the mops to whip up a five-course meal.

Once Edge was finished shaking his head in fond resignation over unnecessary teleportation, he pulled him close, trying to work out a way to hold him around the crutches. It took him a minute to whomp up a strategy that let him lean a little weight on Stretch, the rest on a carefully balanced crutch, and none at all on his casted foot, and only then did Edge offer up a lingering return kiss of his own.

By the time, he drew back, Stretch almost forgot his own question and Edge’s satisfied smirk meant he knew it, even as he said, “Sans sent a team over to check on our kitchen. What’s left of it. He explained to them about how the experiment you were doing went wrong and they’re going to handle the mess. I’m sure he would have brought them himself, but Red is still sleeping off that hangover.”

Coded message received, Red was doing okay. But it was the previous little tidbit that cut through his relief and brought his thoughts to a screeching halt. His mouth dropped open, excuse me, his experiment? And he couldn’t say a damn thing, not with those guys working in the kitchen with the satellite dishes they had for ears all prepped to listen in on some sweet gossip. All he could do was glare at Edge, whose eye lights glittered with obvious amusement.

Dude, not cool. That was going to be all over the Embassy and probably topple the whole ‘showing up naked in a sheet’ as his highest rated fiasco. What a dick move, he liked to come up with his own disasters, thanks, he didn’t need help. Except, of the two of them, people would buy him blowing up the kitchen over Edge at about a thousand to one ratio. Which was probably why Sans came up with that scenario to begin with.

Stretch sighed. Welp, the cover story was out there and now they had to roll with it. Yeah, okay, he could take one for the team, but if he was taking the heat for this, it better have a reward, sexual favors preferred, and not from Sans, either.

He and Edge could discuss a payment plan later.

“that was very nice of sans,” Stretch gritted out. He jerked his head towards the kitchen. “are they even going to be able to clean it all up?”

“Possibly, but I’m not going to try.” Edge gave him another light kiss around his scowl, then let go and headed for the sofa. His small groan of relief as he put his foot up was a pretty damn big clue that he’d probably been standing too long. “I’ve decided with the amount of damage, I’d like to do a full remodel, instead.”

“yeah?” He knelt down to help Edge get his casted foot settled on the pillows. Most of the red paint on it was cleared away, leaving the drawings and signatures underneath tinted pink but it didn’t look too bad. Which meant Edge was probably up way too early if he’d gotten that cleaned up, the brat.

But back on subject before his brain train rattled off the wrong way. Huh, kitchen remodel. Edge had been living here for a few years before Stretch, and the kitchen was definitely his personal territory so if he wanted a makeover, totally his choice. To be honest, he’d sort of expected Edge to be distraught over his kitchen, but right now, he seemed pretty damn serene.

“i mean, yeah, you should. treat yourself.” He gave Edge a sour look, adding dryly, “not like i can complain, since i did ruin your kitchen and all. with my ‘experiments’.” Since their cleaning crew could hear but not see, he went ahead and gave it the whole finger quotes treatment. Probably needed to get Sans to give him the details about ‘the wreckening’, unless his plan was to go all ‘we don’t talk about science club’ with it.

A gloved hand smoothed over his skull, ripe with silent apology. Stretch leaned into it and let it mollify him, for now. “Today they’re only handling basic cleaning up. I’ll contact the building team and see when they’ll be available, and we can work out a plan. Did you want to help me pick out new tile?”

Uh. About as much as he wanted to install a few chalkboards around the house and give ‘em a good scratch whenever he walked by.

Edge must’ve read that off his face like a headline, because his mouth curved in faint amusement. “Then I’d like to ask a favor.”

“anything.” Seriously, picking out tile with Edge sounded as entertaining as weekend plans to watch paint dry. No pun intended.

“Someday, I will teach you all to ask for terms before agreeing so readily,” Edge murmured, almost to himself, then louder, “I have a couple pairs of trousers that I’d like you to take into the tailor for alterations. I’ve already spoken to them and given them measurements, but I need for the pant leg to fit around my cast for when I go back to work next week. I’m afraid my current attire doesn’t exactly fit with dress code.”

Edge looked down at himself in distaste and Stretch had to agree; it’d been pretty weird to see Edge lounging around in shorts all week long. Not that Stretch was complaining, he was fine with bare bones, even put up a good argument for it, which Edge successfully disputed with a firm ‘no’. Of course, he’d paired those shorts with plain t-shirts, no sweaters or button-ups even if he was chilly, because Angel forbid he doesn’t match, seriously, Edge might lose his membership to ‘Sharp Dressed Monthly’. But yeah, if he went into the Embassy dressed like that, they might arrest him as like, a spy or a clone or something.

“yeah, you gotta follow dress code. you don’t want janice to have to punish you for being a bad boy,” Stretch said, slyly, just to see if he could get Edge’s socket to twitch. “that’s my job.”

Edge ignored that because he was boring that way. “A sense of normalcy would be much appreciated as well.”

That had a certain weariness layered beneath it and Stretch tossed his playfulness on a mental shelf for later use. He settled a hand over Edge’s gloved one, squeezing gently as he asked softly, “babe? you okay?”

“Yes. I’m fine.” His firm tone of voice was pretty convincing, but, maybe he wasn’t quite as okay as he seemed? Hard to tell and there was no way Edge wasn’t going to put up a good front with anyone else in the house. “I did want to ask, have you considered allowing me to speak with your therapist for my assessment? I’m not trying to rush you, there’s plenty of time, I’m only working on planning out my week.”

“i--” Stretch sank back on his heels, swallowing hard. He hadn’t considered it, honestly, he’d mostly forgotten about it with everything else going on.

He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it, but it made his soul feel weirdly tight and itchy. If Edge spoke to his therapist, she’d be talking to him knowing all the things Stretch had told her in confidence, all the things he hadn’t even been able to speak of to Edge. Those were the sessions he was speaking more to the carpet than his therapist, but it was still a relief to get it out, lancing mental wounds he’d had for so long he barely noticed the pain anymore. But, so what, did he really think she’d be blabbing it to Edge? Her experiences with him and Sans probably made her the most qualified Human on the planet to help Edge through any problems or trauma. She’d take good care of him, and suddenly the choice was an easy one.

He reached out and cupped Edge’s face in his hand, fingertips grazing the crack through his socket. “you know what, yeah. call her. i trust you both.”

“Thank you,” Edge told him with quiet sincerity. He took Stretch’s hand in both his own, drawing it over to press a light kiss against his knuckles. “For trusting me.” Then he promptly betrayed it by shifted his grip to Stretch’s wrist and pulled, toppling him into his lap. He yelped, trying to keep most of his weight off Edge before he hurt his fool self, but it was useless with Mister Grabby Hands holding on tight. “And I’m sorry, what was that about me being a bad boy? I think you’re the one who gets into the most trouble in this relationship, hmmm?”

“you’d think, but i ain’t the one with a broken foot...edge!” He squealed a laugh as Edge gave him a poke in the ribs, right where he was most ticklish. He let up for a second, letting Stretch catch his breath, only to double down, tickling madly while Stretch squirmed and shrieked. One leg kicked out without his permission, narrowly missing a lamp on the side table, and Stretch gasped out through laughter, “stop! haven’t we broken enough lately?”

Before Edge could offer his opinion on that, heck, maybe he was hoping to remodel the living room, too, the kitchen door swung open and two burly Monsters bustled on out, mops in hand and just in time to catch a front row seat.

“Okay, so we’ve got the worst of--whoops, sorry!”

The tall guy took an instinctive step back, right into the shorter one, who hastily turned to try getting out of the way. Only he forgot about the mop in his hands, and it turned with him, smacking his companion in the face with a wet slap. That sent his buddy reeling, swinging around to give the mop treatment right back.

While they were working on their Stooges impression, Stretch hastily scrambled out of Edge’s lap to his feet, barely avoiding the fingertips that tried to snag onto him again, not this time, brat. That didn’t stop the heat of a blush scalding across his cheek bones as he yanked his robe down modestly, yeah, there was more gossip for the Embassy, if Tall Boy and The Short One ever stopped sputtering through their facefuls of dirty mop.

A glance at Edge didn’t help, either, his face was schooled to calmness already, not even cracking a smile at the comedy gold in front of him. How was it he managed to look cool and professional with one foot in a cast and gym shorts? He probably didn’t even need to modify his trousers, one sharp look would shut any complainers right up. Even his damn t-shirt looked freshly ironed. Meanwhile, Stretch was feeling kinda sweaty and unwashed in his bathrobe, and he hadn’t even had coffee yet. A mop in the face might even feel refreshing right about now, but that seemed like a thought best kept to himself.

“Thank you for your help,” Edge said evenly, sitting as regal as a King on his…uh…sofa. The two Stooges paused, and the power of Edge’s gaze seemed like enough to straighten them out, both of them turning back to Edge, nodding and smiling.

“Hey, no problem!” Tall Boy said heartily. “Anything to help out you and Sans.”

“Yeah, no problem, anything to help out,” The Short One agreed. “If you have any other...erm...” He slanted a knowing look at Stretch, like he hadn’t been re-enacting an entire slapstick routine two minutes ago right in their living room, “…experiment issues, give us a call.”

”oh, i sure will,” Stretch muttered darkly. “for all my ‘experiment issue’ needs.” He stalked over to the front door and held it open, forcing a smile, “but thanks guys, really appreciate it.”

Took a few more head bobs, but eventual Stretch managed to herd them out the door, mops and all. When he turned back to Edge, his head was dropped back against the sofa, his sockets closed. That stoic mask faded back a bit, leaving behind weariness.

Yeeeah, that disguise was slipping more by the minute. Stretch sat back down next to him. “babe, are you sure you’re okay? lotta shit went down yesterday.”

Edge opened his sockets and offered him a faint smile. “Yes.” He reached out and ran his thumb gently across Stretch’s cheek bone. “I’m only a little tired.” His smile turned wry. “I can guess some of what you’re thinking, you know. Yesterday was difficult, and yes, my kitchen is important to me. But I’ve been very recently reminded that nothing is as important as the people in my life. You’re safe, my brother is safe. Your brother, Sans, Papyrus, Jeff and Antwan. Everyone I care about is safe. It’s something to be grateful for, isn’t it?”

“yeah, it is,” Stretch agreed slowly. It was, but it didn’t mean Edge could turn off his emotions about it like a water spigot or even that he should. Maybe it was a good thing Edge was gonna be talking to his therapist; if nothing else, she was damn talented at finding the X marks the spot to dig at. Stretch knew that from personal, and painful, experience. “we’ll get the kitchen taken care of, so long as no one gives those two hammers.”

“Cleaning duty is probably better for everyone involved,” Edge agreed.

Understatement. “it’ll take me a little while in town, why don’t you take a nap while i’m gone?”

It was mostly a rhetorical question, so he was surprised when Edge nodded. “I will, love. And I won’t touch any work until you get back.”

Good enough.

By the time he fed the chickens, got dressed, and headed back downstairs, Edge was already asleep, his foot propped on the sofa arm and the rest of him hidden beneath the fluffy blanket from the back of the couch. That was good, let him rest, let him find his balance again. Tempting as it was to straightened the blanket or give that much-loved skull a pat, Stretch kept his hands to himself. Better not to take the chance of startling him, Toriel wouldn’t be happy if he voided her warranty, but damn if he didn’t want to.

For all his doubts, the Stooges actually did a pretty good job of cleaning up the kitchen. The remains of the table were cleared away and so was the worst of the paint. Stretch poured himself a travel mug of coffee before heading out to the bus stop, garment bag in hand.

A stop at the tailors to get his baby some real pants would help him get back in the direction of the normal Edge was craving. He hoped. Looked like Opposite Week wasn’t quite finished yet but that was okay. Stretch didn’t mind getting to be the protector, for once.

-fin