#(or)

[demonsandpieohmy]

Based on the lively discussion in my other post

[writinglittlebeasts]

and now what the hell is this? a full workable outline for my book, after 70 years?

[expressproshillsboro]

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[prof-lane]

happy doomed yaoi !

[blurrymango]

Rishloo is so ffucking good I need to kill something.

[liferetainsitssparkle]

anyway me watching black sails: whoa they did this in one piece

[bettertwin9000]

NEW PFP LOOKIN CLEEEEEAN 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑

ISNT IT.

[maydaybytheway]

is this #real or #fake chat

[smigglescultture]

going through my irls photo dumps of them hanging out with MY OTHER FRIENDS WITHOUT ME and all I can do is mumble to myself how much I hate them.

[teecupangel]

Tee I can't remember if I've sent this idea before, but with [insert Desmond as an animal au] of your choice (or multiple of them, or all of them)--consider Desmond stuck as an animal and getting used to that being his new life. Until. He meets one of his ancestors he spent time as (havihg sought them out of course. He could never resist). And then, maybe it's by design, or maybe it's some kind of weird crossed wires from the Bleeding Effect, the echo of a flesh and blood body given a reminder in the code of the universe what shape it's supposed to be--

Whatever it is, it turns out that as long as Desmond is in skin-to-skin contact with his ancestor, he reverts to human form.

which is to say: big convoluted excuse for lots of hugs and hand-holding.

It would be funny if Desmond was some kind of big animal so when his ancestor lets go of him, enemies would be surprised by the sudden appearance of such a beast XD

Since you gave me free rein on this, I’m going for 12th century Levant XD

.

.

Malik did not believe he was close minded.

He accepted Altaïr was in love with a mysterious man who can turn into a beast even before Altaïr had admitted it.

Altaïr didn’t try hard to deny it anyway.

Saying “this is necessary” while they were holding hands or Altaïr’s hand was on his neck or they were in each other’s embrace (and many more positions that Malik didn’t have any time to list down at the moment) was such a weak excuse that Malik didn’t really think he should even be using the term excuse in the first place.

When he sent a letter saying he was going on a ‘trip’ with Desmond after they finished the mission in Cyprus, no one in the Brotherhood was surprised.

They immediately looked for Malik to lead them as if Altaïr had planned it.

No.

This felt more like Desmond’s work. That man seemed to believe Malik could handle more things than Malik was comfortable with handling.

Yet, he persevered for no one was willing to take the mantle from him.

After the first year of his tenure as the temporary mentor, Rauf was already suggesting that he, Altaïr and Desmond should just be the mentors together.

The way he said it though made it clear to Malik that Rauf believed Malik was entangled in Altaïr and Desmond’s relationship.

Or was harboring unsaid feelings for either or both of them.

Malik wanted to vomit there and then.

He would rather lose both of his arms than be part of whatever relationship those two had.

They were the cause of Malik’s headache.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

.

Their trip lasted for four long years.

Malik’s list of complaints had turned into a journal and he was planning to read everything out loud.

But his tenure as the long suffering temporary mentor has finally come to an end for those two idiots had returned.

When he reached the courtyard to greet them, Kadar grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Brother.” Kadar’s eyes were wide and his hands were trembling.

“What is it?” Malik asked, his mind going through the many worrying fates those two idiots could have had while they had been away.

“I’m so sorry, brother.” Kadar looked like a man who had his heart broken.

… on behalf of Malik.

Oh no.

Please.

No.

“Malik!” Desmond shouted and Kadar let go of him, stepping back into the crowd like the coward that he was.

Malik turned to where he heard Desmond’s face and saw Desmond’s grinning face.

With both of his hands holding two different persons.

Altaïr was, of course, one of them.

That was a common sight by now.

The other was a woman though.

“This is Maria Thorpe.” Desmond introduced, “The mother of our first son! He’ll be born three months from now!”

Oh, it was worse.

Many Assassins behind the three currently in front of Malik were looking at him with pitying eyes.

It seemed their imagination had run wild.

And now they had cast Malik into the role of an unfortunate man who just heard the two men (or one of these idiots) he was in love with (He. Was. Not.) had married a woman while he had been waiting for them to return.

Forget reading out loud his complaints.

He was going to beat the both of them with that damn journal.

[gravityrooom]

'He's my son and I love him but damn I wish I could have gotten another of his brother instead of him'

@beardedmrbean

[cuephrase]

if you ever see me being normal about a robin- no you didn’t, that was not me, that was an imposter, file a missing report, send for help

[les-portes-du-sud]

Ses cheveux étaient dorés, et ne l'étaient pas seuls; car si ses joues étaient roses et ses yeux bleus, c'était comme le ciel encore empourpré du matin où partout pointe et brille l'or.

Marcel Proust

[allo-frouto]

Hypothetically, what's the best way for a guy who thinks you're an alluring, divine temptress to approach you and get your attention?

Send me money, I’m done with the talking stages.

[yeetus-feetus]

i have a little brother who is 12 years younger than me, and when he first came into the family (he's adopted) I used to take him with me everywhere because he was adorable and I loved looking after him (and sometimes forces to take him with me when I went out). And people used to think he was my kid when I went to the shops or the park.

It STILL happens sometimes!!

and I'm now just imagining this happening with Dick and Jason, or Dick and Damian.

Omg there was this one time where I was hanging out with a group of my friends and my baby brother wanted to come with me, so I brought him along. And we're at the shops and he wants donuts so he's looking at all the options through the glass and this lady behind us taps me on the shoulder and goes

"is that your son deary?"

And I'm like "no, no he's not mine he's-"

And before I can finish she turns to my other friend like "is that your little boy?"

And she laughs and goes "oh god no"

And then my little brother smacks one of the guys in the leg and goes "I want that one! I want the T-Rex with the red sprinkles!"

And so he says "lol okay, can I get the red T-Rex for the little man please?"

And the old lady just frowns and goes. "Is he the father?"

And my other friend is trying SO HARD not to laugh, and the old lady is looking at him suspiciously like she's gonna ask him next, as I go "none of us are the father, that's my little brother, I'm looking after him"

And this lady is like "oh I knew I saw some resemblance there, good on you" and I'm trying so hard not to disappoint her by saying that we do not in fact share any genetics and we're only related through law.

And she's saying "you should probably get you mother to teach him how to tie his shoe laces, I'm so worried he's going to trip over them and hurt himself" and now my other friend who was already laughing is basically on the floor in tears like

"don't worry ma'am I'll tie them, we won't let him get hurt"

And I can't help but picture this as Dick and the other titans. It would be so fucking funny. Like I'm just imagining Dick and Kory being asked if this kid is theirs, and then they asks Donna and she's like 'oh Hera no'. And then Roy is the one ordering the donut and Wally is the one laughing so hard he's in tears.

Oh God I desperately need someone to draw this. It'd be so funny to show my friends like, this is what our shenanigans did. It's DC fanart now😭

Or maybe I'll write a fic with the same premise, don't count on it.

[liferetainsitssparkle]

well tomorrow begins 'why on earth did i think working for these people for two and a half years would mean anything to them' aka fuck this man's circadian rhythm forever aka my fifteen hour weeks im gonna try not to feel bitter about it