#*girlfriend but same principle
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#*girlfriend but same principle#I just find it so funny that house tried to make it into a moral issue when he was just jealous#he even recruited cuddy to tell wilson he was going to be abused#that’s straight up not true 😭 just admit you want him brother#house md#greg house#gregory house#hatecrimes md#hilson#james wilson#house/wilson#my whole account is becoming quote tweets and I don’t like that#but this was just too applicable#slandering amber with villainous motives when he’s done worse himself…#ohhh I hate them
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ST Reddit in denial of the fact that Mileven embodies the Born Sexy Yesterday trope 🤦🏻♀️
#byler#born sexy yesterday#no we’re not calling Mike a predator#and 12-year-olds aren’t sexy#but the principle is the same#the ideal girlfriend who’s so naive and inexperienced that she won’t reject you
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hey i have to get breakfast and shop but hi good morning. loyalty does not make that much sense to me to certain extents and i'm having a moral crisis about it at 9:45 AM because i woke up to SO many texts. i can't really vocalize what specifically this crisis is about because it's hard to verbalize without just saying the situation. i'm yawning a lot and i truly and really have no idea what to do here.
#nightmare.personal#this one actually does put my relationship on the line but like#am i supposed to take this as an implicit ultimatum? is that how this works?#how does any of this work#also i realize this sounds menacing to throw loyalty and girlfriend in the same pot this isn't regarding like#me being unloyal to HER#this is about like a complicated. do you block someone on the principle of other people blocking them
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can i request for a jealous karina?😶🌫️😶🌫️
i hate them. not you.



summary jimin gets jealous over you talking to a backup dancer and starts acting like a dramatic little kid
genre fluff / crack / jealous!jimin /established relationship,
pairing yu jimin x fem!reader
masterlist.
you were talking to some backup dancer. some backup dancer. that was already crime enough in jimin’s book.
you didn’t think anything of it—just a casual convo between schedules. he asked if you liked the lunch catering and you, being a decent human being, said “yeah it was pretty good, actually.” that was all. that was it.
and yet from the other side of the room, karina—aespa’s karina, your girlfriend, your lovely, gorgeous, currently pouty of a girlfriend—was watching like she was about to kill you, him, and the rice cooker in one breath.
you came back over to where she was sitting, legs crossed, phone in hand but clearly not paying attention to whatever the screen was showing. “you good?”
“i’m great,” she replied. oh that tone. that tone.
you squint at her. “you mad?”
“no. i’m chilling. actually. never better. in fact, i think i’m the definition of inner peace right now.”
“…you’re mad.”
“i’m not mad, i’m just saying. interesting how you never talk that long to me about catering.”
you blink. “what—babe, i literally asked you if you wanted my last spring roll this morning.”
“yeah. and you ate it anyway.”
“YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T WANT IT.”
“yeah but it’s the principle, y/n!”
you stare. she stares harder.
-
later that day, she’s still being passive-aggressive. she pretends she doesn’t know where your water bottle is. she sends you memes with captions like “when ur girl flirts with another man in front of u 😍💔” and says she “found them randomly.” she tells you she’s busy when you ask her to help curl the ends of your hair—only to be found exactly 2 minutes later curled up on the couch watching tiktoks with ningning.
“bro. are you for real right now,” you ask her.
“i’m literally always real,” she says without looking up.
-
but the peak, the absolute peak, is when she tries to flirt back with the same guy out of revenge.
it’s a disaster.
he compliments her outfit. she looks him dead in the eye and says, “thanks. it has pockets.”
silence.
you choke on your water from behind the camera.
-
later, when you’re finally back at the dorm, you corner her in the kitchen while she’s pretending to make tea.
“baby.”
“hm.”
“are you mad at me for real or are you just being a bitch for the aesthetic.”
she slams the tea packet down dramatically. “you flirted with him.”
“he said the kimchi stew was mid and i said ‘nah i liked it’—how is that flirting?!”
“you laughed.”
“because he made a joke!”
“you don’t laugh that hard at my jokes!”
“BECAUSE YOUR JOKES AREN’T FUNNY.”
silence.
you both freeze.
jimin blinks. slowly.
you take that back immediately. “wait—WAIT—I MEANT LIKE—YOU’RE FUNNY—IN A WAY—IN A WEIRD LITTLE WAY—I MEANT YOUR JOKES AREN’T FUNNY BUT LIKE THAT’S WHAT MAKES THEM FUNNY—”
she crosses her arms. “so i’m a joke.”
“no—”
“you think i’m a joke.”
“NO BABY—”
“a whole clown.”
“JIMIN.”
you sprint across the kitchen and grab her face gently. “listen. you’re so sexy when you’re mad but i cannot have you looking this sad over kimchi stew man. i am so far gone for you it’s not even funny. like i let you finish my fries yesterday without complaining. my fries, jimin.”
she narrows her eyes, but a smile is threatening to break out. “you did call me unfunny.”
“ok but you literally said ‘i’m cold’ yesterday and i said ‘hi cold i’m y/n’ and you left the room.”
she groans. “because that joke SUCKED.”
“AND YET I’M STILL THE BAD GUY!”
you’re both laughing now, leaning forehead to forehead as she finally lets you pull her in for a hug.
“you know i only care cause i like you, right?” she mumbles, arms tucked around your waist.
“like me?” you tease. “wow. scandalous.”
“shut up.”
“you like me? omg—”
“y/n.”
“i should tell that backup dancer—he’ll be devastated.”
she pinches your waist but doesn’t let go. “you’re lucky you’re cute.”
“you’re lucky i’m still giving you the other half of my banana milk.”
“…can we split fries again tomorrow?”
“you’re mine again now?”
“i was always yours,” she says, soft this time, cheek resting on your shoulder.
you feel your stomach do five flips and a somersault.
you’re never eating kimchi stew with anyone else again.
#kpop x reader#yu jimin#karina#aespa#yu jimin x reader#yu jimin x fem reader#karina x reader#karina x fem reader#aespa x reader#aespa x fem reader#gxg#x reader#kpop x fem reader#oneshot#fluff#aespa karina#aespa karina x reader#fem reader#female reader#karina x female reader#yu jimin x female reader#aespa x female reader
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♡ I'M THE BIGGEST HATER | MV1
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Leclerc!Reader [Face Claim: None]
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Summary: Max Verstappen and Y/N hate each other's guts. or do they? enemies since the day Max defeated Y/N at their very first Karting race when will these two just stop bickering and (in the wise words of Danny Ric) just kiss already?!?!
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
A/N: been reading so many of these that I decided to try writing one myself. first time writing a smau so feel free to leave suggestions on how to improve. also comment to join the taglist as this is going to be a multi part series.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Part 1 of my wheel-to-wheel but still in denial series: Masterlist

y/n_leclerc posted a photo:
📸: Young Y/N glaring at a smug Max after losing a childhood karting race. Y/N is sulking, and Max is holding the trophy like it’s an Olympic gold medal.
Caption: A perfect example of when I learned the universe is unfair. #tbt to the time maxverstappen1 ruined my life by winning our first kart race. Peak trauma. 👎
Liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, lando.jpg, and 200,298 others.
Comments:
maxverstappen1:
You’re still mad about one race? Get over it. 🙄
↪ y/n_leclerc:
It’s not just one race. It’s the principle. I was 9, and you were an evil little gremlin.You’re lucky my parents raised me to be nice, or I would’ve shoved you off that podium.
↪ charles_leclerc:
She has a point. You were insufferable, Max.
danielricciardo:
Max still brags about that karting win to this day. 😂
↪ maxverstappen1:
danielricciardo I absolutely do. Winner’s mentality, baby. 🏆
↪ y/n_leclerc:
maxverstappen1 “Winner’s mentality”? You mean “cheater’s mentality”? I see you, Verstappen.
user1:
"Peak trauma" 😂😂 Please, Y/N, it’s been like 15 years. MOVE ON.
carmenmmundt:
Y/N was already giving "future champion energy" even back then.
↪ y/n_leclerc:
carmenmmundt AND she's got excellent taste in fashion, unlike Agent George. See you later for coffee, babe? 💋
↪ georgerussell63:
y/n_leclerc EXCUSE ME. Flirting with my girlfriend now, Y/N? 😂
↪ carmenmmundt:
georgerussell63 Sorry, George, Y/N’s just irresistible. 😘

maxverstappen1 posted a photo:
📸: Max on the podium after a win, champagne spraying everywhere.
Caption: Another win, another day Y/N gets to hate me. Can’t say I’m sorry. #winning #dontcry
Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, alex_albon, and 360,210 others.
Comments:
y/n_leclerc:
Bold of you to assume I’d cry. I save my tears for important things, like Ferrari strategy meetings. 💔
↪ charles_leclerc:
y/n_leclerc Yeah, same.
lando.jpg:
MAX, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? 😂
danielricciardo:
Max trying to make enemies of everyone in the paddock one post at a time. Bold strategy.
pierregasly:
maxverstappen1 If you make her cry, I’m on her side. Just saying. 😎
↪ y/n_leclerc:
pierregasly You’re my favorite Gasly. Let’s get coffee and laugh at Max together.
↪ maxverstappen1:
pierregasly TRAITOR. 😡

y/n_leclerc posted a meme:
📸: A meme of someone dramatically rolling their eyes with the text “Every time Max Verstappen opens his mouth to talk”
Caption: Literally me every time this bitch opens his mouth. Like stfu?? 🙄
Comments:
maxverstappen1:
Just admit it—you think about me all the time.
↪ y/n_leclerc:
I think about you the way I think about stubbing my toe—briefly, painfully, and with regret. 😘
↪ charles_leclerc:
Get a room, you two.
↪ pierregasly:
charles_leclerc They’re already halfway there, bro.
lando.jpg:
Guys, this is giving “enemies to lovers” and I’m so here for it.
danielricciardo:
This is the slowest of slow burns. It’s like watching paint dry but funnier.

danielricciardo posted a meme:
📸: A meme of two dogs barking at each other from across the street, then stopping to awkwardly sniff each other when they meet face-to-face.
Caption: Max and Y/N’s entire relationship summed up in one image.
Liked by y/n_leclerc, landonorris, georgerussell63, and 500,193 others.
Comments:
maxverstappen1:
That’s so not what’s happening here. I don’t sniff anything. 😤
↪ y/n_leclerc:
Max definitely barks more than he bites. 😂
↪ danielricciardo:
maxverstappen1 You bark loud, but Y/N’s the one doing the damage.
georgerussell63:
How long before you two just admit you’re into each other?
↪ y/n_leclerc:
georgerussell63 Into? I’m just into destroying him on the track. Anything else is wishful thinking, George. 😏

y/n_leclerc posted a Video:
🎥: Slow-motion video of Y/N overtaking Max in a karting rematch, with her laughing as she passes him.
Caption: I haven’t lost my touch, maxverstappen1 😎
Comments:
user1:
SHE JUST DUSTED MAX IN KARTING. THE RIVALRY CONTINUES. 😂😂
user2:
Max was so cocky, and now Y/N is out here reminding him she’s a Leclerc. 😏
maxverstappen1:
I let her win. Just being a gentleman. 😌
↪ y/n_leclerc:
maxverstappen1 I beat you so bad I thought you were parked. 😆
↪ user3:
THE SHADEEE OMG

y/n_leclerc posted a video:
🎥: A video of a car zooming past another car with the caption "Me speeding past Max Verstappen’s ego every time I beat him."
Caption: Nothing feels better. maxverstappen1, cry about it. 😘
Comments:
maxverstappen1:
I’m living rent-free in your head. Just admit it😏.
↪ y/n_leclerc:
Rent-free? Bro, you’re squatting in the garbage disposal of my brain. The plumbing is bad, and no one’s happy. 😤.
↪ charles_leclerc:
I’m going to need therapy just from reading this. Can we not?
lando.jpg:
charles_leclerc Your sister has the energy of someone who stays up late making Max Verstappen hate memes.
danielricciardo:
I’d watch a whole Netflix series of this beef.

danielricciardo tweeted:
Prediction: Y/N and Max will either end up dating or killing each other. Either way, I'm selling tickets.
Comments:
user5:
I’d pay for that front-row seat. 🤣
georgerussell63:
Why not both? Dating and fighting. Iconic and toxic just like these two bitches.
y/n_leclerc:
danielricciardo keep your fanfiction to yourself Daniel 🤢
lando.jpg:
danielricciardo I’ll start selling merch. #maxy/n
↪ maxverstappen1:
I'll sue you to oblivion muppet

y/n_leclerc posted a photo:
📸: Y/N having drinks with Carmen, Lily and Kika
Caption: wining and dining these beauties while their boyfriends lose at Mario Kart. Boys, you could learn a lot from me. 😘 carmenmmundt, lilymhe, francisca.cgomes
Liked by landonorris, alex_albon, pierregasly, and 280,284 others.
Comments:
georgerussell63:
Carmen’s too good for you, Y/N. Stop trying. 😤
pierregasly
stay away from Kika wench 🤺🤺🤺
alex_albon:
lilymhe Don’t get any ideas. 😬
↪ lilymhe:
Sorry, Alex, Y/N just brings out the best in me. 😏
y/n_leclerc:
georgerussell63, alex_albon, pierregasly Relax, boys. I’m not stealing your girls. Yet. 💅
user1:
The fact that George and Alex are actually worried about this is the funniest thing. 😂
maxverstappen1:
georgerussell63, alex_albon, pierregasly I’ve been telling you guys for years—Y/N causes chaos. Don’t let her near the WAGs!
↪ y/n_leclerc:
maxverstappen1 You're just mad because I can charm people and all you have is your fast car. 😘

alexandrasaintmleux posted a picture:
Caption: Had a lovely coffee date with y/n_leclerc today. Sorry, Charles, you’ve been replaced by the better Leclerc. 💋
Comments:
charles_leclerc:
I leave you alone for one hour, and this happens, where's your loyalty babe?🤦♂️
↪ y/n_leclerc:
charles_leclerc Charles, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just irresistible.
↪ charles_leclerc:
I’m being out-flirted by my own sister. Unbelievable.
oscarpiastri:
charles_leclerc Now I’m nervous to leave Lily around Y/N too… 😬
↪ lilyzneimer:
oscarpiastri Honestly? Can’t blame her. 😘

danielricciardo posted a meme:
📸: Meme of two people bickering with the text "Max and Y/N" but underneath it says "Us: Just kiss already."
Comments:
georgerussell63:
Finally someone said it. 😂
user5:
This slow-burn rivals-to-lovers storyline is too good. Can Netflix turn this into a reality show?
y/n_leclerc:
I'd rather stab myself in the foot
↪ maxverstappen1:
I'd rather jump into a pit of lava
↪ charles_leclerc:
I’ve never seen two people who hate each other this much. It’s exhausting.
↪ landonorris:
What if this isn’t hate, though? What if this is like, love in disguise?
↪ danielricciardo:
I’m just waiting for the day Y/N proposes to Max through a meme.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 scenario#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#formula one#formula one x reader#formula one x y/n#max verstappen#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#formula one social media au#pierre gasly x reader#pierre gasly x y/n#daniel ricciardo#daniel riccardo x reader#geroge russell#george russell x reader
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let me for once
summary: y/n pays for dinner. inspired by the trend of girls paying for their stubborn boyfriends
pairing: sidney crosby x female reader
authors note: a late night blurb but I am taking Sidney requests <3
Early on in your relationship you insisted on paying for dinner and drinks. With your manicured hand reaching into your purse, you fished out your wallet, only to look up and find Sidney staring at you, utterly dumbfounded.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Paying,” you said, cheeks warming. “You’ve taken me out so many times—I want to take you out.”
Sidney’s lips curled into an amused smile as he shook his head. “You don’t need to do that. I’m taking you out, I’m paying. I always pay.”
“I know you always pay, and I appreciate it. That’s why I wanted to for once.”
His cheeks started to turn pink. “Babe, really. Put your card away.” He reached into his back pocket for his wallet.
“Sidney, I’m serious.” You slid your credit card across the table next to the check.
Without missing a beat, he slid it right back to you, tucking his own card inside instead. “Here,” he said, pushing the checkbook toward you. “Use this to pay.”
You stared at him. “Sidney, I’m not paying with your card. I work, I have money, and I want to treat my boyfriend.”
“But you’re my girlfriend. You shouldn’t be paying for my dinner.” His tone was firm yet affectionate. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m taking you out. I’m paying.”
“So, if I make a reservation somewhere and take you out, then I can pay?”
“No,” he said easily. “I’d still pay.”
You folded your arms, leaning back in your chair with a sigh. “I won’t forget this, Crosby.”
With a smirk, he handed the waiter his card as they came to collect the check, leaving you shaking your head—because, of course, he wasn’t going to budge.
Years later, and it’s still the same—he never lets you pay. Gas, nails, groceries, dinner—nothing. He won’t allow it.
Tonight is no different. It’s a cozy Friday night in, and takeout is the plan.
“Do you want pizza? Wings? We could do Thai—we haven’t had that in a while,” you suggest, scrolling through your phone from your spot on the couch.
“Whatever you want, babe. I’ll eat anything,” Sid calls from the other room. And you know that to be true.
You settle on pizza from your favorite spot, confirm the order with Sid, and a few minutes later, he walks over—wallet in hand.
“It should be here in 45 minutes,” you say, locking your phone and sinking back into the cushions. You ignore the sight of your large boyfriend standing in front of you, waving his wallet like a flag.
“Are they gonna take cash at the door?” he asks, frowning slightly.
“Nope, they’ll just drop it off,” you reply, feigning innocence.
“But… how do we pay?”
“Oh, it’s all good. Don’t worry about it.” You keep your eyes on the screen. “Sit, sit. I’ll start the movie from the beginning.”
Sidney hesitates before sinking onto the couch, placing his wallet on the coffee table. “Did you pay?”
“Yeah, I did.”
Sidney groaned and threw his head back against the couch dramatically. “Why would you do that?”
You shrugged, trying to keep your expression neutral, but the small smirk threatening to form gave you away. “Because I can.”
“No, you can’t,” he shot back immediately, sitting up and turning toward you. “That’s illegal.”
You laughed, leaning into his side. “It’s not illegal, Sid.”
He huffed, crossing his arms like a stubborn kid. “In this house, it is.”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “It’s just pizza.”
“It’s not just pizza. It’s the principle.”
You knew this game all too well. He always insisted on paying, no matter what. But after years of him covering everything, you’d decided to sneak one in when you could.
“I think the principle is that I should be able to buy dinner for my own boyfriend every once in a while,” you countered, poking him in the side.
Sidney narrowed his eyes, but you could see the way his lips twitched, fighting a smile. “I don’t like this.”
“You don’t have to like it,” you teased, snuggling closer. “You just have to accept it.”
He sighed, shaking his head. “This isn’t over.”
You grinned, grabbing the remote. “I’d expect nothing less.”
#sidney crosby#sidney crosby x reader#sidney crosby imagine#nhl imagine#nhl blurb#Sidney Crosby blurb
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Title: Soft Like Rain



Pairing: KK Arnold x Reader
Fandom: UConn Women’s Basketball
Summary: A rainy day, a warm dorm, and soft limbs tangled under blankets. KK wants to hear how you fell in love—again.
🏷️: @paigeshirleytemple , @unknowgirlypop , @yailtsv , @nicebellee , @sitawita , @thatonesuschix , @vamptizm , @elalfywhore , @starfulani , @authentic-girl03 , @paige05bby , @paxaz535 , @azziswrld , @jadasogay , @paigeluvvr , @melpthatsme , @lessi-lover , @courtsidewithlani , @shikaizer
Rain taps soft against KK’s dorm window, steady like a metronome. It’s the kind of gray, slow day that makes you wanna crawl into a hoodie and disappear under blankets for a while. That’s exactly what I did.
KK’s hoodie hangs loose on me—navy blue and worn in all the right places, smelling like her coconut conditioner and cinnamon gum. She pulled me into bed the second I got here, mumbling something about “nap date weather” and “your warm butt’s my space heater.”
Her legs are tangled with mine under the comforter, one hand on my thigh and the other lazily scrolling on her phone.
“Babe?” she asks, voice husky and low like she’s been napping with her eyes open.
“Hm?” I murmur, already half-asleep.
“Tell me how you fell in love with me.”
I shift my head slightly to blink up at her. Her cheek’s pressed into the pillow, curls tied up messily. She’s looking at me with that soft-lipped smirk that means she already knows what I’m gonna say.
“…I literally told you that again yesterday,” I mumble.
“I don’t care,” she grins. “I wanna hear it again. Plus, I like hearing you talk.”
“God, you’re such a flirt.”
“You love it.”
She’s right, I do. So I sigh, push closer into her warmth, and start telling the story again—the same one I always do, the one she asks for when it’s raining or when she’s sore from practice or just feeling soft.
“Alright,” I begin, tracing the drawstrings of her hoodie. “It was that mixer. The one Yanna dragged me to.”
KK nods, content. “Plaid pants. Sprite spill. Keep going.”
“I was sticky, embarrassed, ready to fake an asthma attack just to leave—and then you popped up. Calm, cute, cocky.”
“Triple C,” she murmurs proudly.
“You gave me wipes and made a joke about me being too pretty to be clumsy. I should’ve hated you on principle.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No,” I say, “Because you offered to walk me back to my dorm, and when I told you I had cramps, you offered to get me snacks and a heating pad.”
KK chuckles softly. “I didn’t even know you yet and I was already on girlfriend duty.”
I grin. “Exactly. That was when I started falling. You weren’t just nice. You were intentional.”
KK hums, kisses my forehead. “Say more.”
So I do. I tell her about all the little things—the way she remembered my favorite candy, the way she texted me during class just to say “you looked real fine today” like we’d been dating for years, not weeks. I tell her how she made me feel like I wasn’t hard to love.
And when I’m done, KK just breathes into my hair and whispers, “Yeah… tell me that again next week too.”
“Only if you bake with me after this nap.”
“Bake?” she perks up. “You’re trying to seduce me with cookies?”
“Chocolate chip banana bread,” I say, sitting up and stretching. “Rainy day comfort food. My specialty.”
She grins wide. “Say less.”
We nap a little longer, rain still pattering against the window like a lullaby. And later, when the dorm smells like brown sugar and melted chocolate, KK wraps her arms around me from behind at the counter and says, “I’d fall in love with you all over again for this banana bread.”
I smirk over my shoulder. “Good. Because you’re getting it every time it rains.”
She kisses my cheek. “And every time I ask how you fell in love with me?”
“Every single time.”
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
-Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶
-prettygirl-gabi🎀✨️
#gabi writes#uconn wbb#paige bueckers#support the writers!#gabi answers#wbb#°~prettygirlgabi ask~°#uconn huskies#uconn women’s basketball#oneshot#kk arnold uconn#kk arnold oneshot#kk arnold x reader#kk x reader#kk arnold#uconn wbb x reader#uconnwbb#uconn womens basketball#uconn x reader#uconn#wcbb x reader#uconn wcbb#wcbb
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Better kind of best friend (part 3)
Pairing : Reader x Alexandra Saint Mleux x Charles Leclerc | Poly & bisexual fem!reader
Warnings : obsessive/possessive/manipulative behavior, suggestive content/smut, fluff then angst then dark fluff, inaccurate racing calendar and school programs, polyamory, use of y/n
Synopsis : When you left the UK for a year long art restoration program in Monaco, you mainly wanted to make some friends. What you didn't expect was to find your best friend on the first day. And then fall in love with her. And then get tangled in the web of Monaco high society as her boyfriend came back to town, unaware of your little affairs. What the fuck happened to you, you just wanted to make some friends...
Moth's prophecy 💡 : Your favorite omen of doom & cringe is baaaack ! I wanted to give a special thanks to all the precious cryptids who have asked for the part three for literal weeks, always staying patient, nice, and sending messages so sweet I rot my teeth on them and made a collection of screenshots in my notes to motivate me. I never thought anyone would like my writing, let alone wait for it, so thank you. Y’all are my lights. On the subject of Better kind of best friend, a fourth part was not planned at first, but will make the ending smoother, so I’m sorry, this is not the end yet ! For those just discovering the series, you can find part one here and part two here, or in in the masterlist ! Enjoy !
“Ah per favore… Tell me you’re not dressing up like that for her.”
“Ah please, tell me you’re not giving your opinion when no one asked for it.” Chiara popped her tongue at your cold answer, and stayed in the opening of your door, clearly judging you.
You had been going through your closet for about an hour now, and the floor seemed to only disappear more and more under the layers of clothes thrown onto it carelessly. Nothing seemed good enough, partly because you had no idea what to expect for the evening, and mostly because no matter how much you refused to admit it, Chiara was right. You wanted to look pretty for someone else than yourself. For two people exactly. The thought of how quick you had thrown away all of your big principles when faced with fluttering eyelashes and pink cheeks almost made you sick.
Yet when they both got up from the table, Alex running to your arms with a smile and Charles blushing, eyeing you up and down, you thought that Chiara should just shut up once in a while. This was too good to not enjoy.
And you had promised yourself this would not be the same this time. They were your friends, they were dating, and you would keep a healthy relationship with both of them. But then Alexandra softly kissed your cheeks, and took your hand in hers. You would limit any type of confusing physical touch, and make sure to not give in to sweet pet names. But then she led you to Charles, who put his hand, much bigger and more calloused than his girlfriend’s, on your waist, and brought you closer to greet you. You would not let your fantasies take over facts, and you would keep all communication clear and honest to ensure your best friend stayed exactly that. A best friend. But then he told you you were gorgeous, and she giggled while still holding your hand, and they had your favorite drink already on the table, and suddenly you forgot everything you had told yourself in the mirror while getting ready. Surely it would come back to you if it was that important. Right ?
Back to you it came, in the form of Alex’s gorgeous friend and one of your workshop colleague, Luca. Almost falling on you as you exited the bathroom, he seemed like he had had one too many drinks already, and didn’t plan on stopping any time soon.
“Oh mais regarde toi, quelle beauté !” He grabbed at your waist and kissed your cheeks, blabbering on and on in French about your makeup and outfit. “Who are you trying to impress by looking so gorgeous, babe ?”
You chuckled and pretended he was wrong, but could not help and steal a glance. Of course you wanted to impress them, what a joke to pretend you did not care. Why for, even you had no idea, but you knew you would be satisfied as long as they kept their eyes on you. Which they had stopped doing for a while now, seeing as they were cuddled up on one of the couches, Alexandra sitting on Charles’ lap, hands in his hair, while he peppered her neck and shoulder with soft kisses. You could hear her giggles from afar, smell his shampoo, or maybe you just knew them too well for your own good.
You knew you were staring, knew Luca would be quick to catch on to what was happening if you did not get a hold of yourself, but it seemed that even the music and lights had faded in favor of the scene in front of you. It was hypnotizing, seeing her give in, seeing him take charge, knowing in your heart you should be there but never would be. Cheeks heating up, you turned back to Luca.
“I actually wouldn’t mind some company, if anyone here shares your opinion tonight.” Beaming, he hooked his arm with yours and took you straight to the bar to get a refill, which would inevitably end up spilled on the floor when he made you dance until you saw stars.
You don’t know how long you had danced for when he came to you. Hands sliding down your waist to your hips, his hot breath making the hairs on your neck dress up, you did not look up. You knew it wasn’t him. Because you knew how his hands felt from that one time he caught you from falling, because no man in their right mind would dance that way with their girlfriend’s friend in a crowded club, because it would never be your neck he buries his face in. But just for a few seconds, maybe minutes, you caught yourself hoping it was true, dreaming you would turn around and get a glimpse of green eyes before his lips crashed into yours. But the eyes were dark, the hair too blonde, the hands too soft. And yet you still let him kiss you, and when his slim fingers brought your dress higher on your buttcheeks, you even moaned in his mouth. Desperate was an understatement at this point.
“I’m going to put my fist so far up his ass he’ll be lucky if…” Alex’s sentence was cut short by Charles’ hand slamming against her face, flashing an apologetic smile to the friends they were chatting with and dragging her away. “Who even is that ? I’m going to get a bouncer to kick him out.” Charles had to tighten the grip on his arm to finally get her to look at him.
“Calm. Down.” This seemed to only piss her off more, but before she could start another rant, this time aimed at her boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck and kissed her, giving him the advantage of surprise to then speak in her ear. “I know. But love, just look around you. At least half of this party knows us. I’m not sure punching a guy flirting with…” Unsure of how to call you to appease Alex, he opted for simplicity. “Y/N, and making a scene like a jealous wife is the best way to get her back.”
She sighed, head rubbing against the palm of his hand, before raising her doe eyes at him. “Then do it, Charles.” Getting closer to him, Alexandra brought her lips to his, her breath intoxicating like syrupy almonds. “Everyone knows you. Everyone loves you. Who would even dare to say something to Mr. Golden Boy.” Fluttering her eyelashes, she knew exactly how to get him. Sweet as honey, sharp as glass. “Why don’t you be a good boy and go fetch her for me, hm Charlie ?” He only managed to nod pathetically, his whole body aching to get on his knees and have her sit on his face.
The tension in his muscles was still present by the time he got to the bar stool where you were sitting, and he thought he might actually end up smashing the guy’s face against the counter. You were laughing like he had never heard before, the kind of sultry giggles that belonged to cab rides and hotel hallways, only an invitation for the hand already sat on your thigh to go up further. He barely had time to think of consequences, and you to realize he was standing behind you, before his hand fell to the guy’s shoulder, and he started speaking in his ear. The music was too loud, you were getting really drunk, so when the man’s eyes got wide, and he apologized before leaving in a hurry, you were unable to guess what Charles could have told him.
“I’m sorry, doll…” It wasn’t the first time he called you that, yet everytime it left your heart pulsing, and your core aching for more. You felt your legs wobble as he slid between them. “Seems he wasn’t interested in much more than a quick fling.” His fingers ran up your thigh and you almost fell the dig of a nail, before he took the hem of your dress and brought it back down to its usual length. The exhale that came out of your mouth felt like the first one in hours. “And you’re worth more than quick, aren’t you ?” At this moment, no, you weren’t worth more than that, you were yearning for someone to take your mind off the shitshow that was your heart, even if it meant bending over a bathroom sink for any nameless guy. But you smiled through the shivers and thanked him, even daring to put your hand on his. Everything was spinning, your ears were ringing, but he was smiling back at you, so maybe this evening wasn’t so bad. “Party’s over, let’s go home, doll.”
On the way back, Alex sat in the front of the car, but kept her hand on your knee the whole way, tracing small circles on your exposed skin. It almost seemed to you that with every sharp breath you took, you saw her smile in the car’s mirrors, but you fell asleep without being sure.
Even Charles was annoyed now. Maybe he could buy you a leash, make sure you were never straying too far. A tag too, so that you wouldn’t get lost. One with his name etched into the metal, just so there’d be no doubt. Just so that everyone knew who you belonged to. Would you be good ? Obedient ? He barely managed to get back to reality before his face got as red as his suit. Knee bouncing restlessly, his eyes were unable to leave you, bent over his car as a mechanic showed you his seat. If he could see you, it meant everyone could. And that was starting to get on his nerves.
“Sorry I found a pretty one” Alex whispered, sliding up behind him, her voice a low hum of amusement against his ear. “Sometimes I wish I could lock her up too…”
“I mean you could.” Charles knew he was fucking up. The words had tumbled out before he could stop himself, the implication behind heavy with something he would not dare to name. He knew his girlfriend had been teetering on the edge lately, and that any idea fueling her possessiveness would be considered, no matter how immoral. He knew he was supposed to be the voice of reason. Your soft way back to her, to them. Like the web to the spider. But this new mechanic he was definitely going to get fired was now making you try a headset, and he was playing with your hair, and the image of you getting yanked back to his feet was taking too much place in his brain. So when Alexandra stared at him, he simply shrugged, surrendering. “I don’t want her to stray too far when I’m on track. Who knows what could happen to her.”
When the free practice started, and Alexandra sent you to get her painkillers from the “infirmary”, you didn’t know what you were getting into. As the door locked behind you in the small storage room, you became painfully aware that you had no idea how this world worked. You had followed her instructions blindly, not really knowing anyone, and not wanting to cause trouble. And now you were banging on the door, feeling the air slowly get out of your lungs as the panic took over your body. There wasn’t any light in the room, and you could faintly hear the rumbles of the cars in the distance. Everyone was probably busy either watching or working on the track. No one would hear you scream, yet you begged for help with every bit of energy left in you.
Claustrophobia had been the fear you never got over. Taking stairs rather than elevators and walking over crowded buses, you had mostly managed on your own. But there you were, stuck in what seemed smaller than your bathroom at the residency, wondering if you were about to suffocate to death between tyre blankets and wires in Abu Dhabi. Charles had told you the practices lasted about an hour. But would you ? And even if your lungs hadn’t burnt from the thick air then, would someone find you right away ? Who could even come to look for you, in such a foreign place, with no friends other than two of the busiest people there could be this weekend ? Tears streaming down your face, you found yourself wishing you had never left their side. Maybe that would have been childish, but you would have been safe.
“Y/N ? Y/N are you in there ?” Anywhere in the world you would have recognized this voice. The only one that would understand your pain because she knew your fears. You screamed her name and heard rustling in the hallway. For a second when the door opened, she stood bathed in the clinical white lights, and you thought you had died. No angel would ever come close to such a vision. “Y/N ! Mon chou come here oh my god” She fell to her knees, opening her arms, and it felt like coming home. To hell with the physical distance, to hell with the principles. She had found you. She had saved you. Your head in her neck and her hands in your hair, you tightened your arms against her even when she gasped, but pulled you even closer. The tears falling down on your cheeks weren’t yours only, and you could barely make out what she was saying.
When the buzzing in your ears finally calmed down, she had cupped your face, whispering inches away from it. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you you’re safe. Please don’t leave me anymore. Please please please Y/N I beg you I got so scared, you weren’t coming back and I thought something had happened to you, it’s not safe here.” Rubbing your cheek with her thumb, she even kissed repeatedly your forehead as you could only nod, still crying. “Stay by my side, please never do that again. I thought I had lost you, I thought…”
You said yes, over and over again, apologizing as if it had been your fault, promising to be good like a prayer to a benevolent deity.
When Charles got out of the car and saw you holding Alex’s hand, your whole body twitching while she was beaming, he could not help but smirk. On a counter next to his phone, the keys to one of the storage rooms sat innocently, gleaming under the lights.
The weeks following the incident felt like a blur, as if your mind was slowly sinking into the mist of December mornings, and the last of your independence with it. Wherever you turned, Alexandra’s warmth and Charles’s steady hands were there, lingering at the edge of your vision, too close to be a coincidence.
But it was too comforting to not bathe in it. Your mind kept on replaying the moment your friend had found you in the storage room so many times it became a mantra, a balm to soothe the fear that still clawed at your thoughts at night. She found you. She saved you. She would never leave you. Charles too, after making a scene at the race and demanding the lack of safety in the infrastructure to be investigated, had made a point of shielding you from anything he deemed not safe. Which now that you were back in Monaco, seemed to be everything and everyone. You caught him glaring more than once at strangers, his body always carefully sliding between you and anyone who got too close.
Yet you had also been witness to the ugly side of fame since, the shadows it casted and the vultures it attracted, and trusted them to keep you away from it. All celebrities seemed to like their private life to stay, well… Private, and so when he brushed a stray hair from your face and told you he wouldn’t let any creep bother his dear friend, you believed him.
And truth be told, you loved the attention. That’s what you wished for, all you ever wanted, you told yourself as Alex braided your hair on the couch of the residency, Charles scrolling on his phone, his knee brushing absent-mindedly against yours. It was sweet, how they cared so much. Your roommates had given up on understanding, as long as the mood was not as icy as it had been the past month, they were fine with pretending nothing had ever happened. Life itself seemed to be so much easier with just them anyway. Why bother looking elsewhere, for what even ?
“I thought you were really cute, and I just wanted to give you my number, if you ever wanna go on a date.” The French accent snapped you out of your thoughts, and you nodded, blushing, as the barista winked at you. Your gaze immediately darted to the side, as if they’d be standing there, watching. But you had come alone, like stepping outside without a coat, not sure how you were now feeling about the decision. No matter what, it seemed their presence clung to you like a second skin.
They weren’t stopping you from dating, or making friends out of the internship. But it had been a while since you had thought about anyone else in that manner, and stepping out of the comfortable bubble you had built around the three of you now seemed like such an effort, on top of being scary. A voice in your head, your voice probably, even though it sounded too much like Alexandra’s, always ended up whispering : What else do you need that you don’t already have ?
The barista’s number scribbled on a napkin stayed untouched in your bag. Charles’ eyes had lingered too long on your phone screen one night, and when you mentioned in passing the way the uber driver had complimented your makeup, Alex had tilted her head just slightly, her smile not quite reaching her eyes, her tongue brushing faintly against her canine. But they laughed it off, and you laughed with them, sinking into a soft net that felt more silk than cloud.
Had you been more careful, maybe you would have seen the signs. The way stuff in your bedroom seemed to change places, or even disappear. The deleted messages sent from your own phone, asking to be left alone, confirming you weren’t interested. The delicate touch of a hand on your arm, the oh-so-French kiss on the cheeks you always seemed to receive whenever a flirtatious wink was sent your way. But you had missed her, and you liked him so much, and for nothing in the world you would go back to a world where those weren’t your best friends. No matter how hard it was to fall asleep picturing them running their hands further than morality authorized.
As you lingered by Marco’s door, his bed still a wreck even though he had left a week ago, you couldn’t help but sigh. The house was so quiet, barely troubled by the faint swirl of wind in the garden. You thought you would like it this way. Even though it had been fun, living with seven other art students had been… Messy. Now everyone had gone home, and there was no need for fighting over the thermostat or Sunday mornings rush to get groceries anymore. Only the handmade decorations were left behind, like ghosts of their absence.
You couldn’t explain to yourself why you had resisted going home. On the phone with your mother, you had brushed it off with excuses about the time-consuming art pieces, the flights, and how it would be easier to stay. But when the clock struck midnight on the 22, and the thought of waking up alone for the next few days clawed at your chest, you booked the next available flight. You’d surprise your family. Sitting at the table and laughing at their jokes and going for a walk after lunch. You’d come home.
The morning of the 24th greeted you with hope, and then a storm. Nice’s airport’s fluorescent lights cast harsh shadows on the crowd’s disappointed faces as flight after flight turned red on the departure boards. You tried to stay calm, fiddling with a trinket tied to your bag, but when the announcement came that no flights would leave until the storm cleared, something inside you cracked. You were stuck. Not home. Not Monaco.
You stared at your phone, thumb hovering over Alexandra’s contact. You hadn’t told them you were leaving, hadn’t wanted to explain why the urge to run away, and why you were now desperately crawling back. The empty airport felt like punishment, and your fingers moved before you could second-guess yourself. Faced with her warm voice, the words tumbled out on their own. The storm. The canceled flights. The panic of the crowd slowly but surely spreading to you.
“You stay there, we’re coming to get you”. You barely had time to protest before the call ended.
When their car pulled up outside the terminal, the storm still raged, rain lashing against the windshield as Charles parked. Alex hopped out, an umbrella barely covering her as she ran to you, her sparkly short dress illuminating the pavement. “Oh, mon chou, you must be freezing,” she cooed, wrapping her coat around your shoulders and guiding you to the car.
Charles was waiting, heater blasting, his smile soft as he looked back at you from the driver’s seat. “You should’ve told us you were leaving,” he said, a hint of reproach softened by his tone.
You shrugged, sinking into the warmth of the car. “It was a last-minute thing.”
Alexandra clicked her tongue, clearly disapproving, as she slid in beside you. “At least you have your bag ready.” You barely had time to register what was happening as you saw Charles type in an address that was definitely not the residency. Before you could ask, his eyes met yours in the mirror.
“You’re not spending Christmas alone, doll. I called my mom on the way, so I hope you like oysters.” He broke eye contact as you opened your mouth to protest, his voice much lower, daring you to defy him. “Don’t argue with me, it’s already settled.”
Their idea of Christmas was something out of a dream. Charles’ family home in Monaco was decked out in soft lights and greenery, the smell of mulled wine and myriads of meals filling every corner. His family welcomed you with open arms, and Alexandra’s parents, who had joined as well, treated you with the delicate attention of pretending like your presence had always been planned.
The day went on as if you were stuck in the flow of a warm river, feeling the deep call you but unable to move a muscle to swim against it. You hadn’t been allowed to lift a finger, Charles steering you away from the kitchen when you offered to help, pressing a glass of wine in your hand instead. “Absolutely not. You’re a guest, Y/N. Relax.”
Everytime someone asked how you were enjoying the day, one of them was always quick to describe how “special” it was to have you here, and how glad they were to finally be able to introduce you. Their attention was always on you, always ready for any request you might have. What had become a natural habit, developing over the last few weeks, was now exacerbated under the glimmering lights, and the Christmas tree seemed to wink at you, knowingly, as if it was in on whatever elaborate spectacle Charles and Alexandra had orchestrated. Their care was overbearing but left no room for complaint. By the time dessert was served, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. An intricate figurine in a glass case, too precious to touch but constantly on display. Anytime Charles called for his doll, you got dizzier.
When everyone gathered around the fireplace to open their gifts, the cook gave you a knowing look and gestured at another glass of wine left on the kitchen counter, before swiftly exiting the room. You gladly took it and observed from afar the parade of extravagance. Designer clothes, limited-edition art pieces, concerts tickets in another country. If you thought your own Christmases back home were lavish, it was no comparison to the Leclerc’s.
“Here, mon chou.” Alexandra purred, pressing a carefully wrapped small box in your hand. “We planned on giving it to you next week but now’s even better.”
You hesitated, feeling your cheeks heat up as everyone turned to you. This was not planned. You did not have time to get either of them anything, even less their families. It all felt like a show you had never agreed on being a part of. “You really didn’t have to-”
“Open it.” Charles interrupted, his grin infuriating, dimples bigger than ever. He lounged back on the sofa, one ankle resting casually on his knee, his gaze fixed on you. With a brush of his hands, he pretended to swish away your worries. “We’ll go and change it if you don’t like it”.
The box revealed a delicate bracelet, platinum with tiny diamonds winking along its length. Sucking in a breath, you felt their eyes on you, expectant, hungry for your reaction. “It’s pretty, no ?” Alexandra’s voice was eager, her fingers brushing yours as she took the bracelet to clasp it around your wrist. It was too much. The alcohol made your head pound and you felt like throwing up. Raising your eyes, the guilt hit you like a wave. They had done so much for you, gone out of their way to include you, and you couldn’t even summon the gratitude they deserved ? The metal was biting into your skin as if in reprimand, your whole body feeling like fire since you had finished your glass. Taking a deep breath, you excused yourself to “freshen up”.
The low hum of voices faded as you found a quiet room in the labyrinth that was the house. This is what you’d always wanted, wasn’t it ? To be cared for, adored, treated like the most important person in the room ? Then why did it feel too much ? Why did it feel like drowning ? You thought back to October, and quickly recognized the signs of your love barging through the door, demanding the best place at the table. You couldn’t let either of them know you were back on your stupid feelings, or they would leave you again. And then ? You had seen the pain, for everyone involved. Good friends. Best friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. You exhaled, praying for your thoughts to shut up, concentrating on the wind outside.
It was Charles that came for you, sitting carefully next to you on the bed, as though you might shatter if he moved an inch wrong. Turning away from the frosted window, you murmured. “Just needed a breather.”
“I’m sorry.” Before you even had time to ask what for, he sighed, gesturing vaguely towards the door. “For all of this. We just wanted to make you feel welcome but… It’s obviously not working.” Running a hand through his hair, betraying his frustration, his other one went tentatively to yours, and your fingers laced together. “I can see you’re not enjoying this, and I know it will never be the same as being with your family.”
“Charles, I don’t-”
“I can arrange a plane.” He was rambling on, a habit they seemed to share, and in the soft light of the moon, you could swear his eyes were red. “First thing in the morning, have you be home before lunch. We love having you here, doll, but… I think it might have been selfish of us.” There. You had made him sad. He had made you feel like family and you had fled like a spoiled child. If anyone was selfish here, it was you.
“No !” You blurted, the word too loud, startling even yourself. Moving towards him on instinct, you threw yourself in his arms, hands gripping to his back, fingers curling against the smooth fabric of his sweater. He tilted his head, questioning, but you only buried your face against his chest. “I… I don’t want to leave. I’m sorry if I’ve seemed ungrateful. I didn’t mean to. It’s not too much, you’re not too much. You could never be. I’ll try harder, I’ll appreciate it more, I’m sorry I-” It seemed the habit had also infected you, and your monologue was stopped by Charles’ thumb brushing against your bottom lip.
“Shhh” The hand that was in your back went up to your head, softly rubbing your hair, as you lost yourself in his eyes. Were those freckles or just beauty spots ? Had those always been here ? You felt tempted to touch them but froze up when your lips opened up on instinct. Seriously, how many drinks did you have ? “You don’t have to apologize. I just want you to feel welcomed and… Appreciated.” The moment stretched, world narrowing to the warmth of his arms and the pulse of your heart as he opened your mouth even more and slid his thumb past your lips, your teeth, and to rest against your tongue. “And loved.” His gaze was fixated on your lips, and for a brief moment, until footsteps were heard in the hallway, you thought he was going to kiss you, or maybe slap you. You wouldn’t have protested either.
His lips went to brush softly against your forehead, and it took every last ounce of self-control in you to not bite down on his thumb as he took it out of your mouth. His fingers traced down your cheek, your jaw, down to your neck, where he softly closed his fingers around your throat as the moan that had been stuck in there was finally let free. You wanted this moment to last forever, almost wished he would choke you out so you would never have to go back to reality. But something snapped suddenly in his eyes, and he ruffled at your hair before standing up with a confidence that made you question if the moment had truly happened, or if the cook had spiked your drink. In the white light of the night, his finger shined briefly with saliva, and you followed him back to the living room like a dog who had gotten the sweetest treat.
The floor length mirror stared back at you, unkind in its honesty. You leaned in as Alexandra gently titled your chin up with her fingertips, her voice humming as she added the finishing touches to your makeup. The sharpness of your features seemed amplified under their bedroom golden light, and your reflection felt foreign. Maybe it was the week, and its endless swirl of champagne, parties, and faces you couldn’t remember. Or maybe it was the memory of Christmas Eve, and its almost-kiss which kept replaying in your mind like a broken record you didn’t have the strength to discard.
Charles hadn’t mentioned it. Not a word. The morning after, his smile came on as easy as ever, his voice smooth and jokes easy, as if nothing had happened. Alex had thrown herself onto him, bathing him in affection, as though your world hadn’t turned upside down in that hidden room. Even now, as his hands brushed against your shoulders, slipping the straps of your too-short dress into place, you were wondering if you hadn’t dreamed it all.
“Stop squirming” He teased, smoothing out the fabric and pulling up the zipper.
Alexandra laughed and stepped back to inspect her work, two fingers still holding your chin. “She’s not squirming, she’s just nervous.”
“Il y a pas de quoi être stressé, c’est le Nouvel An, pas une gardav’ non plus…” Not understanding the slang, you copied your friend’s reaction, and as she clicked her tongue, you rolled your eyes.
You felt like an imposter. How could you have let it get this far ? You were supposed to go back to being friends, that was the deal. Not over complicating things, not pushing boundaries of what they were giving you. But then every time one of their friends got curious about you, Alexandra would say you were “Just someone special”, her casual voice contrasting with her nails scratching on your thigh. Her eyes would flicker, the kind that warned you not to correct her, and you let yourself get locked up in this almost-relationship that you had so desperately tried to escape a few weeks before.
Reaching for the curling iron, she murmured, more observation than question. “You’ve been quiet today.”
“Just tired, I guess… We’ve gone out a lot this week.” You forced a laugh, aiming for nonchalance, but Charles simply raised a brow, not impressed.
“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. We can just stay there, order some food, …”
You cut him off by twirling on yourself, the dress flaring so high it couldn’t have been conceived to cover anything. Alexandra groaned and caught you by the shoulders to steady you, apparently not satisfied with your curls. “When I look like that ? It would be such a waste !” The green-eyed boy chuckled and nodded in agreement. Dressed to perfection, your hair soft and shining, you looked exactly like what they wanted you to be : a doll. And truth be told, you enjoyed it. When he kissed his girlfriend on the cheek and they both looked at you with something that could be pride, you knew you owed it to them to have fun, at least tonight, at least the following months. At least until England called you back and you answered, leaving your summer love to rest on the green hills. You owed it to them to pretend you weren’t haunted by the ghost of “almost”, and maybe you could even pretend long enough to end up believing it yourself.
“Close it, you’re going to swallow a fly.” Charles pushed softly on your chin to close your mouth you had left wide in awe, before rubbing the nape of his neck. “Much funnier in French…” He mumbled before leaving his keys to a valet, and opening the way for you and Alexandra. The mansion was huge, its garden spilling to the edge of the woods behind it, and the music pulsing through the air carried promises of a night you might not remember in the morning.
It seemed everyone who knew a Formula 1 driver, directly or indirectly, had been invited. Some faces you recognized, but most not, and the shower of compliments you found yourself in as soon as you stepped foot in the main living room quickly felt suffocating. The polite flirting made you feel uneasy, their admiration like scrutiny, and before you even had time to cling to your anchors, they drifted away. “I’ll be right back, chou.” Charles’ hand brushed briefly against yours before he followed his girlfriend to go greet some friends, and you stayed right where they left you.
No matter how much you repeated your internal calming mantra, the vulnerability was creeping in. There were too many people you didn't know, and so you made it a mission to not lose again the only two that mattered. When they asked if you were having fun, you nodded, the lie automatic. For the following hours, it turned to truth, as you stuck close to them like a guard dog unwilling to stray too far from its leash. If Charles moved to refill a drink, you downed yours too quickly to follow. If Alexandra drifted to another conversation, your hand clung to her elbow, begging to tag along. You weren’t proud of it, but the dread clawed at your chest every time you stood alone for more than a heartbeat. You were enjoying yourself as long as you weren’t left to your own devices. Long gone was the resolution of making new friends, it seemed.
The air in the house had been filled with tension as midnight approached, and you felt like you had suddenly woken up. A glass of something golden in your hand, its fizz long forgotten, you were nodding along to Pierre’s story about an incident on a recent trip, while his girlfriend Kika hung onto his arm, punctuating his tale with playful jabs. You tried to listen, you really did, but something was missing, and you couldn’t help but give in to the voices bothering your every thought as he wrapped up his story.
“Have you seen Charles ? Or Alex…?”
Kika’s lips curled, mischief in her eyes, and she exchanged a look with Pierre who chuckled. “They’ve probably gone to enjoy the view, as usual.”
“Top floor,” Kika added, still giggling as she sipped her cocktail. “There’s a balcony up there that’s quite… Private.”
Mumbling a quick excuse, you set your glass down and slipped away, through the maze of guests and corridors of the sprawling mansion. The thud in your ears was soon more heartbeat than music, the knot in your stomach tightening between unease and anticipation. When you reached the top floor, the door to the bedroom was ajar, dim light coming from within and spilling onto the hallway. You closed it behind you, breath stuck in your throat.
There they were. Alexandra’s back was pressed against the railing, her sequined dress shimmering in the moonlight as Charles leaned into her. His hands rested on either side of her waist, fingers curling possessively over the iron, as he brought one knee up between her legs, silencing her laugh. He was working down her throat when she opened her mouth, eyes fixed on you, but did not stop kissing and biting, seemingly not caring.
“Oh darling, caught us” She purred, her voice thick with amusement. Her manicured finger pointed at you before curling, inviting you to come closer. You should not. You should flee. This was not your moment, it would never be. Also, you should keep a closer eye on your drinks because someone was definitely having fun drugging you lately, no way any of this was true. But your feet moved before your brain was done having a panic attack, and you found yourself gently pushed in the woman’s arms by Charles.
She probably saw your eyes jumping from one to the other, thoughts racing behind them at light speed, and with each hand on your cheeks, centered you back to her face. This felt like deja-vu, your lips so close, your perfume swirling together, like the wish you had screamed to the moon that night was finally becoming true, only a few months too late.
“I’m sorry.” Oh no. Oh not again. You were about to jump out of her embrace when you felt his body behind yours, closing back on both of you as his hands caught on the guardrail once more. “Stay. Please.” Not like you had much of a choice anyway. Charles was looking down at the garden over her shoulder, badly pretending as if he wasn’t inches away from the most private conversation happening tonight. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize what was going on between us. And I’m sorry I hurt you in the process. You deserve the world, not any of the mess I put you through. I hope one day you’ll forgive me.” She was already forgiven, how could she not when her apologies were whispered between your lips. “But I know where I stand now. And if you allow me, I’ll never give you less than the world. Because that’s what you deserve. Because you love me and I love you.”
“Ten !” Charles took a step to the side as the screams from downstairs echoed through the whole house. He leaned on the balcony, and you almost fell to the floor from the shaking in your legs. “Nine !” She caught you by the waist and pulled you back to her with a laugh, one so hesitant it could only be filled with honesty.
“Eight !” You were dreaming. You wanted to punch yourself to wake up, but without even knowing how, your hands had gone up to her arms, shoulders, neck, cheek. “Seven !” You had promised yourself, you had promised her, and Chiara, and the world itself, that you would be fine being just friends. “Six !” Why was she the one ruining all of your efforts ? Why was she still the one you would wait for, when everyone else was long gone ?
“Five !” Was Charles just going to stand there, and pretend like his girlfriend didn’t confess to someone else ? “Four !” Maybe they had talked ? Maybe they had been open this whole time and you hadn’t seen the signs ? Would he kiss you too ? “Three !”
You cupped her cheeks and it felt like the world exploded when your lips met. Or maybe it was just the fireworks. Maybe it was the culmination of months of pining, love and pain, that was giving her kiss a taste of blood, a taste of more. She switched your places, pinning you against the barrier and deepened the kiss as your hands tugged at her hair, undoing the curls she had so carefully crafted. Everyone was screaming for the New Year, but you felt like they were doing it for you. Is that how it felt, to love and be loved ? Like you would rather run out of oxygen than end the moment. Like teeths and tongues, being fourteen and messy all over again. Like a movie-worthy compilation of every smile she had flashed you for the last four months was playing behind your closed eyes.
When you opened them, her mouth now running wild on your jaw, it’s a green spark of amusement that was looking back at you, a slow whistle coming out of his dry lips. Shit. You had kissed his girlfriend. Or his girlfriend had kissed you. And he wasn’t moving to join in. Were you about to be thrown from the highest balcony in some sick kind of real-life Cluedo ? But he simply brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, and the small caress he gave to Alexandra’s back made her moan against your collarbones. “Les clés sont sur la porte mon amour.” She mumbled what you understood to be thank you, not sure why for, as he moved towards the door.
“Wait Charlie I’m…” It was difficult to talk with Alex, determined to kiss every inch of visible skin on your body, and there was a lot. “I’m sorry I… What’s happening ?” You could only hope they had not broken up, not because of you, yet you saw no world in which this situation would be acceptable for him. With his usual playful grin you had grown so fond of, he winked at you before exiting the room swiftly.
“There’s a time for actions, and a time for explanations. Happy New Year, doll.”
With every step that she took you followed, painfully aware of how much she knew you, much better than you would have thought. Kissing in all the right places, her grin was getting wider every time you winced under the dig of her sharp nails, and she hushed you as if the drunken screams downstairs weren’t covering your moans. But you were determined to be good, as you had been from day one, and so you bit the pillow and pulled at her hair, let her know it hurts and let her keep going, because you loved her and she loved you. And she would never leave you.
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
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How much are we worth? | James Potter
Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader
Word count: 5.8k
Summary: Sirius bets that James can't get a girl to go out with him. James pursues you and falls for you. You are hurt when you find out that you were just a bet, even more when you realise how little they bet on you.
Notes: A classic: Strangers to friends to lovers, Angst, Bet trope, Fluff and happy ending because yey, I believe in second chances :) Existence of a wardrobe that works like newt scamanders suitcase and SPeLLing Mistakes
Masterlist
_________________
In hindsight, you should've known.
"Have you maybe considered giving up on her?" Remus' question caught James off guard when he returned to the marauders at the Gryffindor table after another failed attempt and rejection by Lily.
"Not until she's given me a chance at least," James responded, eyes trained on Lily's retreating figure. "Besides, this chasing game is sort of our thing now."
The marauders nodded sceptically.
"Not particularly the dynamic I'd want to have with the person I fancy," Peter whispered, loud enough for everyone to hear. James shot him a look as if Peter had just committed the greatest betrayal of the century.
Sirius snorted out loud. "Dynamic my ass, yeah." He threw a piece of bread across the table in James' direction.
"He's stuck with Lily now because if he decides to chase some other poor girl and inevitably get rejected, it'll prove that James Potter just can't get some," he added, wearing a shit eating grin on his face.
James pulled a face at Sirius. "Oh please I can get girls. It's just that contrary to you, I actually show commitment to only one," he huffed.
Sirius shrugged. "You say that, but you've never even had a girlfriend. Been pining over Evans since first year. Besides, commitment or being stuck," he weighed his hands in the air. "Same same."
James rolled his eyes and got up. When he turned around, he crashed into someone who had been standing behind him, tripping her, and he sent her crashing into the Ravenclaw table behind him. The Ravenclaw sitting at that table ducked out of the way. She stuck her hands out to brace herself and loudly hissed when her hand ended up in someone's scalding soup.
"Godric, I am so sorry," James scrambled to offer her a napkin. She snatched it out of his hands and dried her hands. James saw that they were scorching red and more apologies stumbled out of his mouth.
"Let me help you get to madam Pomfrey," he offered, concern lacing his tone. He reached his hand out to her and she jerked away.
"Fuck off Potter, I'd rather take a bloody bath in boiling water than go anywhere with you." She spat, and left, hand pressed against her chest, covered by the napkin.
The commotion had everyone turn their heads at him and despite usually being a fan of being at the centre of attention, he embarrassedly sat down again.
"Guess really no girl wants to go anywhere with you, Prongs," Sirius snickered. James offered him a sour look.
"This was just because I literally burned her hand, Pads. Any other time, she would totally go out with me." James boasted, but guilt and concern for the girl who he didn't know, lingered in his mind.
"Right, you wanna bet?"
"The usual?"
"The usual."
They sealed the deal with a nod. Peter and Remus shared a look but they knew that was no use trying to tell them to stop it already. Remus thought back to the scowl on the girl's face and prayed that she would stay headstrong and reject James.
After all, Sirius and James were from wealthy families, so money has never actually played a role during these bets. It’s just the principle of it that counts and is the reason why they only ever bet one galleon. It meant someone would get hurt.
The scowl on your face disappeared with the cool relief of the running water from the girls bathroom on your hand, but the bitter feeling remained when your mind wandered to James Potter. You scoffed to yourself. Arrogant, self pretentious, blood boiling bully. Though never having been a victim of their pranks, you lost several friends to Beauxbatons because of the marauders’ cruelty.
You glanced at yourself in the mirror one last time and left for your Ancient Runes class where you walked to your designated seat next to Lily Evans. You two unsurprisingly got along. Though your personalities were nothing alike, you being rather reserved, you could both value each other’s calm presence and even ‘maturity’ to a certain degree.
She offered you a smile and you nodded at her in acknowledgement. “I’m embarrassed to ask this, but could I maybe share your book? I didn’t have time to pick it up after lunch.” Lily gave you a surprised look but quickly assured you that you could to which you offered her a small but grateful smile.
She opened her mouth to tell you something, when something else, or rather someone else, caught her attention. Before he even reached the table, she had already attempted to ward him off in a monotone voice. “Go away Potter, I’m not interested.”
“Not here for you, Lilypad,” he smugly said and stopped right next to you. Lily raised her eyebrows and looked at you with a concerned look. Without looking up from Lily’s book, you also repeated Lily’s words. “Fuck off Potter, I’m not interested either.”
“I haven’t even said anythi-“
“And I don’t want you to.”
“Okay, but here me out, I-“
“I. Don’t. Want. You. To,” you pronounced every word clearly.
“Come on, just listen-“
You turned around, an incredibly sour look on your face. James couldn’t help but admire you for a moment. You looked pretty, contorted face aside. Especially when you had smiled at Lily. It had caught him off guard.
“Can you spare me a second?” He tried again. For a second, he thought he saw a look of appreciation cross your face at his formulated words, but it was gone in a split second.
“No. Class is starting, get back to your seat Potter,” you dryly responded. You turned back to your book and James walked back to his friends.
James potter was determined though, you had to give him that. You abruptly turned on your heels, ready to walk in the opposite direction, even if it would mean a detour of about 8 minutes to your destination. You were really not into his crap today.
“Y/N!” James called out to you and chased you.
“I told you to call me by my last name. We're not friends, Potter. I don’t want to be. In fact, I don’t want anything to do with you. So, for Merlin’s sake, leave me alone, or I swear on his balls that I will hurt you.” You spat the last part out through gritted teeth and
James took a step back in surprise. He looked at you for a moment, carefully considering his next words. “L/N.” He settled on, voice quieter. When you didn’t immediately walk off, he took it as a sign to continue. “I was wondering if you would allow me to sit next to you during our free period between Transfiguration and Potions.”
You raised you eyebrows.
“My friends all took classes and there’s like a two hour gap and I like company, that’s all,” he hastily explained before you could go and reject him.
“What are you, six years old?” You sarcastically asked him. “Can’t spend what, two hours on your own?”
James’ eyes averted to the ground. “Just not enjoying being alone,” he mumbled, almost embarrassedly. You looked at him, great, now you were being an asshole yourself.
“You know the big old wardrobe in the abandoned classroom on the seventh floor?” you eventually asked. James’ eyes lit up and nodded.
“It’s bigger on the inside.” You said.
“A secret room?” He asked while trying to recall seeing an extra room on the map. You nodded. “Not even visible on your map because it’s not Hogwarts. A pocket dimension, Dumbledore said.”
James’ jaw fell slack. “You know about the map?” he whispered.
“You can join me there between classes next week if you want, but I can’t promise you that it’ll be any different to passing the time on your own.” You said, completely ignoring him. You stopped in front of the library. “A word about the wardrobe and I swear-“
“-on Merlin’s balls that you’ll hex me, yeah,” he waved you off with a triumphant smile.
“Witty, are you now.” You looked at him. A small smirk lingering on the corner of your lips. James heart skipped.
“Just one of the effects you have on me, darling,” he winked at you. “L/N,” he quickly corrected when your face fell into a scowl again.
“I’m not kidding though, this is my spot to get away from everything. I don’t feel like sharing it with people.” James felt flattered. So you would share it with him?
“I solemnly swear I won’t tell,” he assured you, a serious expression on his face. “You can trust me, L/N.” He cringed at his own words. Trust him? He was only talking to you to prove Sirius wrong.
“I’ll hold you to it, Potter,” you nodded and entered the library. The door closed and James slouched against the wall next to him. A giddy feeling fluttered in his stomach at the thought of hanging out with you.
“So what happened to rather bathing in boiling water than going anywhere with me,” James couldn’t help but arrogantly ask while trying to keep up with your ridiculously fast walking pace as you two were on your way to the wardrobe. “I’m not going anywhere with you, you’re going somewhere with me,” you denied, your eyes narrowed at him. James put his hands up in mock surrender. “Lead the way, L/N.”
“I am,” you deadpanned.
James sceptically looked at the oak wardrobe. He and his friends had rummaged through this room already. It included the wardrobe, but it had looked pretty normal.
“Doesn’t look very special,” he said while you were busy locking the door behind you. You made your way over to James and pushed him out of the way roughly. He gaped at you with an offended look on his face. “You know, being a bit more chivalrous wouldn’t hurt you,” he exclaimed.
You shrugged and opened the door. James stared in amazement as he realised that the inside was in fact bigger. He walked to the wall that the wardrobe was standing against and squeezed his hand between the wall and the wardrobe.
“Why are you so surprised?” you asked. “We literally learned about the Extension charm yesterday?”
“We did?”
Maybe hanging out with James Potter wasn’t as terrible as you had expected it to be and so, it became a routine. James had finally realised that his persistence to flirt with you or try to impress you wasn’t getting him anywhere and had opted to actually be considerate of you.
He respected you when you not so kindly told him to fuck off and was sitting next to you quietly while you studied between hours in the wardrobe. He had read the book that he’d seen you read in the courtyard- and was surprised to find himself interested in the story- so that he could talk to you about something when your demeanour told him that he could speak again. He stuck to calling you by your last name and learned to read your mood when he could joke around.
Most importantly, he’d learned to enjoy himself in a comfortable silence that didn’t require him to do or say anything and just let him be.
You two were laying on the couch again, feet propped up, both on opposite sides, but feet touching in the middle. James was admiring you. The way your eyebrows crunched up in a frown, eyes squinted, and lips mouthing the words you were reading.
“You’re careless with spelling, Potter.” You eventually looked up from correcting his assignment. “But that’s a brilliant essay.”
James beamed up at you, relief, pride and happiness all washing over him at once.
“Also, you have a nice handwriting,” you added after considering whether or not you should mention it.
James was now fully grinning, pushing himself to sit up from his relaxed position. “Two compliments?” he asked teasingly and you immediately huffed and looked away. “Don’t let it get to your head, Potter. It’s big as it is.”
“But you think I’m brilliant and that my handwriting is nice.” He repeated happily.
“Your essay was brilliant,” you attempted to correct him, but he seemed to be lost in happy thoughts. You looked at him. He had his arms up behand his neck because he had laid down again. He was grinning from ear to ear and his eyes squinted in delight and satisfaction. He looked so... harmless.
“You know,” you began and James looked up at you, propping himself up a little in curiosity at the fact that you were starting the conversation for the first time.
“I used to think you were the biggest asshole ever. Astoundingly stupid and good for nothing but hurting people.” You were looking up at the ceiling now and missed the way James eyes flashed with mixed feelings.
“I had a few friends, you know. They were great, but everyone called them boring and a stick in the mud.” You turned your head towards James. “You and the rest of the marauders used to tell us to “lighten up already,” and pranked us separately, one by one until all five moved schools.”
James looked down, feeling horrible and guilty. It was true that in his early years at Hogwarts, he and his friends had been going too far with pranks. That kind of stopped after that prank.
“So I’ve held a grudge against you, like any good friend would do,” you smiled to yourself at the thought of your friends. “I think maybe I no longer have to.” James heart melted at your confession. Over the course of weeks, he’d become desperate for your approval and friendship.
“You’ve changed since then,” you concluded out loud. “Not cruel anymore.” You hesitated for a moment.
“James?” You then asked and James looked up at you with wide eyes. He knew that this was the first time that you’d addressed him by his name instead of ‘Potter’.
“Yeah?”
“I really value our friendship,” you whispered. “It’s worth a lot to me.”
James heart both warmed and tightened. “It’s worth a lot to me too,” he whispered back.
“Where were you,” Remus asked when he returned to the Gryffindor common room. “We looked on the map, but we couldn’t find you.”
“And we couldn’t find Y/N either.” James fought the urge to correct them and say that they shouldn’t use your first name like that. That he had worked for your friendship to stop calling you by your last name.
“Do I owe you a galleon now?” Sirius popped up from behind him. “What? No,” James said, thinking of another subject to talk about, wanting to ignore the existence of the bet in the first place.
“I was hanging out with Y/N,” he admitted. “But because we're friends now.”
“Yeah, but where were you hanging out?” Peter asked. “Because we weren’t allowed to leave Hogwarts today.”
“Did you find another secret passage?” Sirius gasped and James immediately shook his head to deny it. “Oh come on, we’re your friends, you have to tell us!”
Remus watched James shift uncomfortably and tried to intervene. “Let him be, Padfoot.” Sirius wasn’t having it though, and when James said that he promised not to tell, he responded with, “What, you value your fake friendship with that stick-up-her-ass girl more than us?”
“It’s not a fake friendship,” he weakly fought back. “Don’t call her that.”
Sirius sighed. “I’m sorry Prongs. I didn’t mean to call her that, hell I don’t even know the girl, she’s probably alright. But you’re keeping secrets, it’s not fair.”
You stared in disbelief at the marauder who wasn’t James, having a hook-up in your wardrobe. When he noticed you in the entrance, Sirius merely held his hand up at you in a greeting. “Thanks for letting me borrow this, this is the best spot for not getting caught.”
You backed away and slammed the door shut. James.
“Potter!” you yelled at him when you saw him leave the Gryffindor chambers. Your face was contorted in anger and you were seething.
He looked up at you, happy feeling in his chest and he was itching to show you the paper behind his back.
You stabbed your finger in his chest, effectively wiping the happy grin on his face off. “You promised,” you hissed. James immediately knew what you were talking about. “I’m sorry, I had to tell him,” he tried to justify his actions and you scoffed. “Fuck you,” you spat and walked off.
James stood there, frozen and stared at the empty spot in front of him. His arms hung by his side and he looked down at his essay which wore a big ‘O’ mark and right next to it in Professor McGonagall’s handwriting, ‘Keep this brilliant work up, Mr. Potter.’
James was watching you, sulking. He had made such progress and now it felt as if all those baby steps were for nothing, instead taking eight long strides back. You had closed yourself off again and James was too intimidated by your glares every time he walked in your direction, so he would change directions last minute every time you burned a hole through his head with your eyes.
‘This is so stupid’ he thought to himself when his body automatically steered him away from you again. He mustered up all of his courage and headed straight for you. He would rather face your wrath head on than go back to being strangers. Especially when tomorrow was free period again.
“Is it okay if I talk to you for a moment?” he asked, nervous.
You scanned him up and down. Everything about him looked remorseful, from his posture to dull eyes to his tone when he asked you if he could have a word. You waved at him to take a seat next to you, and he gratefully took the opportunity.
“I’m sorry. I swore I wouldn’t tell and I did and I shouldn’t have. I would go back in time and stop past me from telling Sirius, but I can’t, but I also don’t want to lose you because I meant what I said. This friendship is worth so much to me.” James took a deep breath. “So please let me make amends?” he finished.
“Okay.”
James blinked. “Okay?” he dumbly repeated.
“That’s what I said.”
“Wait, so that’s it? No grovelling? No conditions?”
“Would you like me to add conditions?”
“I mean..” James stuttered. “Sure?”
“Fine. Consider this your second chance , even though it technically is your third after your horrid behaviour towards my friends. It’s also your last.” You said that last part sharply. “Do you accept those terms?”
James nodded in relief and agreed. It was only when he laid in bed at night that he realised that he should’ve probably gotten clean on the matter of the bet right when he had the chance. He was on his last chance after all. But it would be alright. He would simply call off the bet and then it would be as if nothing ever happened. No one had to know, no one had to get hurt.
He waited after Transfiguration and grinned at you when you made your way to him. He had really looked forward to spending time with you again at your spot. Even if the marauders knew its location now, too.
“Lead the way, Y/N.”
“I am,” you retorted with a hint of amusement in your voice. James grinned and followed you, only noticing after a while that you were walking around on the third floor instead of the seventh. “Did you find a new spot?” he curiously asked.
“Yes. And no.” James huffed at your vagueness, imploring you to explain. “Let’s just say that Dumbledore got himself off my blacklist.” You turned the corner and moved a portrait to the side. James knew of the passageway. It was moist in there and cold so it hadn’t interested him and his friends very much. But behind the door you just opened, stood your wardrobe.
He looked at it, amazed. “You got Dumbledore to move a wardrobe for you?” he asked incredulously. You slyly smiled but didn’t say anything except for “I did the cleaning myself.”
“So what’s going on with you and James,” Lily curiously asked you. You shrugged and brought your water bottle to your lips. “Kept bothering me into a friendship, I guess.”
Lily laughed. “Well, whatever keeps him away from me,” she joked and you let out an audible laugh. She leaned in towards you. “But if he’s no longer fighting for my attention, but yours, I think it might mean that he fancies you.”
You choked on your water. “Most certainly not!” You strictly assured her and composed yourself. Lily laughed. “No need to get so defensive over his feelings. You make it seem as if I suggested that you fancied him,” she said, chuckling. You turned your head away and she gasped. “Do you fancy him?”
“What’s with all this gossiping and boys talk,” you grumbled, unpleased. “But for the record, I don’t think so.” You stuck your nose up.
“You don’t think so?” Lily repeated. “What do you mean?”
“I gravely appreciate him and I feel very comforted in his presence. We’re friends. It doesn’t mean I fancy him.” You answered. “Besides, I’ve never fancied anyone. Not sure I know what it’s like.”
“Okay, how would you feel if he starts dating someone, right now?”
You pondered over the question for a bit. “I guess he can do whatever he wants, but don’t expect me to share our spot with some random girl,” you said, the last part coming out more bitter than you expected. Huh. ‘Did you fancy James Potter?’ you wondered.
“I fancy her,” James told his friends while they were out in Hogsmeade.
“L/N?” Peter asked. James nodded in affirmation. “Well damn Prongs,” Sirius started. “What happened?”
“Y/N and I are good, I think. We fit and it feels amazing. It seems surprising, but we can talk for hours or sit in silence together without it being weird at all. Everything is comfortable with her, in like the good way,” James struggled to express all his feelings about you.
Sirius whistled. “Almost envious of you, Prongs. What about Evans though?”
James shrugged. “Not the kind of dynamic I want.”
“So are you going to tell her?” Remus asked. James puffed his chest. “Of course. I’m not shy about my feelings. I publicly chased after Lily for years,” he reasoned. But despite his big words, he felt like a nervous wreck. Because what if you rejected him?
James found you in the library. “Is now a good time?” he asked. You sat up straight. Last night, you had done a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion that yes, you fancied James Potter. “Yes, actually. I wanted to talk to you,” you replied. You got up and and started to gather your belongings. James grabbed your books for you and you left the library.
“I fancy you.”
James blinked. Were his ears deceiving him? Were you joking? Did you have a bet of your own going on with someone?
“I’m sorry?” he managed to get out, his voice an octave higher than usual.
“I fancy you,” you stated again. Matter of factly. “I came to the realisation yesterday and they do say honesty is the best policy.” James laughed softly at your sad attempt to lessen the awkward atmosphere.
“I actually wanted to talk to you to say the same thing,” he breathed out in a relieved manner. You stared at him in surprise. Okay. Definitely not what you expected.
“So you fancy me.” You repeated to make sure.
“And you fancy me.” James nodded.
“Do you want to go out with me?” you asked.
James’ heart leaped. He had spent so much time asking that question, he realised that how amazing it felt to hear the question directed at him. He grinned. “Glad you asked, darling. Yes, I’ll go out with you.” He reached out to you carefully wrapped an arm around you. You fully leaned into him in a hug and breathed him in.
“Think our relationship just went up in value.” You mumbled, your words slightly muffled by your face, hidden in his sweater.
You felt him laugh. “Well, we upgraded from friends to couple. How much are we worth now?”
You pretended to think about it. “We’re worth all the money in Gringotts bank.”
“That’s a lot of money,” he hummed.
You had taken James out on a date in the middle of the Gryffindor Quidditch stands at night, after curfew. James was the first to lean in and kiss you and when he did, he practically melted into you, your arms slung over his broad shoulders. He’d muttered something about how lucky he was and you’d told him that he better know it, before admitting that you felt the same way.
After you had left him several hickeys, scattered across his neck, he had insisted on returning the favour. He was only on his second when you two were interrupted by Filch, who had spotted you two. You two ran off to the third floor and decided to hide out in your wardrobe until he was gone all while continuing making out. You and James fell asleep in that position. You on your back on the couch, James draped over you like a weighted blanket with his face nuzzled in your throat, and your legs entangled.
Though very surprised at first, your fellow Hogwarts students quickly got used to the idea of you and James in a relationship. It wasn’t long before you were walking down the corridors together, James hand on your lower back and inching lower. You shot him a warning glare and he bit his check when he splayed his hand over your ass with a cheeky smile. You elbowed him in the ribs, earning a huff and let your hand rest on his ass in turn.
Everything was perfect, which is of course why everything had to become a disaster very quickly. James wasn’t even sure how such a perfect night had turned so horrible. One moment, you were partying, everything had been great, and he had been envisioning you and him for the rest of your lives, and the next, he was pleading with you through a locked door.
“Y/N, we can call you Y/N right?” Sirius had drunkenly slurred. You had rolled your eyes at his antics, but nodded. Though you would never admit it out loud, you appreciated the elder Black.
“I like you. We all like you and we’re happy that it’s you and not Evans anymore,” he mumbled on and he stumbled over his own feet, barely reacting in time to not drop to the floor.
You internally smiled at his words.
“I’m sorry that I was an asshole to you. You’re really great. If I had known, I wouldn’t have targeted your friend group for pranks or risked your feelings by making you part of a stupid bet.”
It was as if the world stopped spinning for a moment, music only barely in the background. “A bet?” you spoke in a dangerously low voice.
Sirius seemed to catch on to your change in demeanour and sobered up at an incredible rate. “Shit, no-“
But you had already turned around to find James, Sirius stumbling behind you to try and stop you.
“How much?” you spat out angrily when you found him. The music was luckily loud enough to hide your argument from other students.
James looked at you, confused. “How much?”
“How much are we worth?”
James frowned at you question. “All the money in Gringotts bank,” he calmly answered you and moved to embrace you, thinking you were just very drunk.
You pushed him away and he stumbled a few steps back.
“No,” you hoarsely responded. “That’s how much I think we’re worth. How much did you bet on me.”
James’ blood ran cold. “I-“ His words opened and closed like a fish. “Because the amount better have been fucking worth it, James,” you cut him off.
“Darling-“
You felt numb. “How little?”
“A galleon.”
You nodded and stepped back. “I was wrong,” you shakily breathed out. “You, James Potter, are still cruel.”
James chased you. “Wait, please,” he begged. You ran out of the room, towards the third floor and into the wardrobe hidden behind the door behind the portrait.
James followed you and pulled on the knob to open the wardrobe that you had locked. He sunk down against the doors and took a deep breath.
He had to explain. He had to let you know that you meant everything to him. And that everything was real. Honesty is the best policy after all, right?
“I’m sorry. Darling, I am so sorry. It’s so stupid how it happened. They were saying that I couldn’t get anyone to go out with me and then I accidentally hurt you with the soup incident, so Sirius bet with me that I couldn’t get anyone you to go out with me. I was never planning on hurting you, I swear,“ James rambled.
“I wanted to apologize and make up for your hand anyway. Not that it was out of pity or anything,” he immediately added.
“I did think you were beautiful. I did want to talk to you. And when you rejected me at first, yes, I did want to prove Sirius wrong. But then you were everything. I wanted so desperately to be friends with you because you were right. The bet was stupid, but it was never about money. It was never even about you per se, but I’m so fucking happy that it ended up being you, because I’m in love with you. Please believe me.”
You sucked in a breath at his words. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
James jumped at your voice from the other side of the door. “I wanted to, I really did. But I had already screwed up once and you weren’t going to give me anymore chances, so I thought that if I just never told you and called of the bet, pretending it never happened, I could keep you.” He leaned back against the door, eyes tightly shut. “And if we break up, then I don’t regret it, because the past months with you were perfect,” he whispered.
The door abruptly opened from inside out and he stumbled back, having leaned against it. He looked up at you, hovering above him. He knew you. He knew how to read you and right now, you needed space. “I’ll wait for you,” he said, hesitantly and left you alone.
You needed your friends right now.
When James didn’t see you the next day, he accepted that you didn’t want to see him. But by now, almost an entire week had passed and James and his friends were itching to apologize to you at least once more. He decided to ask Lily where you were and was absolutely not prepared for her answer.
“She went to Beauxbatons.” Lily pursed her lips at the boy in front of her in disdain. She knew what had happened but couldn’t help but pity him a little bit when he looked at her like that. Devastated.
James’ world stopped and for a moment he thought he couldn’t breathe. Did you leave? Had he managed to push you away to a whole different school? He thanked Lily for her answer and sat down at his own desk in a daze. His body moved on autopilot for the next few days. He was falling into a routine that he didn’t like.
During free periods, he hid out in the wardrobe, face up towards the ceiling as he imagined you were lying in his arms right then.
You had been gone for a week and a half and had returned to Hogwarts. Feeling lighter in your heart and decisive steps carrying you towards the Gryffindor Quidditch stands, right on time for the match.
You saw James and your heart jumped. He looked good. He had definitely looked better before, but all in all, he looked good. You bit your lip, suddenly insecure and doubting his promise to wait for you. Another twenty points for Gryffindor and admired James from the distance.
When you had arrived at Beauxbatons, you had wallowed in self pity for a day or two before your friends had pulled you out of it and reasoned with you. Surprisingly on James’ behalf.
You knew they were right. You were madly in love with James and he was undoubtedly madly in love with you too. Though it had all started off as a bet, how could you stay upset when it only brought you and James together.
James eyes scanned through the crowd, automatically trailing to the spot where you two had been sitting and kissed during your first date. He had to do a double take when he saw you in the crowds and almost fell off his broomstick when he rubbed his eyes with both hands to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
He started making his way towards you when his eyes locked onto the golden snitch. His eyes flickered between you and the snitch, but you had seen it too, so you flashed him a grin. His shoulders relaxed, and he started the chase.
“Darling?” James appeared in the doorway to the boy’s changing rooms.
“James,” you nodded. You were smiling at him, and your warm, inviting tone had him move forward until you were within reach.
“I’ve missed you so much, I thought I lost you.”
“Hm, you’re just lucky that I really really love you too.” You sassed back. James was in front of you in two big steps. “Yeah?” he asked a twinkle in his eye. “Just like that? No grovelling? No conditions?”
You kissed him. “Would you like me to include grovelling?” you laughed at him.
“Yeah actually. You see, I’ve already prepared at least eight different ways to make up to you.”
He pressed his lips to yours again.
“Get a room!” Sirius yelled and you shot him a sour look. He held up his hands in surrender, a shit eating grin still present on his face.
“Fine, but don’t expect your captain back for the celebratory party. He’s mine tonight,” you shot back.
“And every other night, I hope?” James coyly smiled at you. You shook your head in amusement and dragged him away, hand slipping to rest on his ass, his own hand finding its way to yours.
“Lead the way, Darling.”
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#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#marauders era#james potter fluff#james potter angst#james potter fic#james potter imagine#marauders#marauders fanfic
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FORGIVELESS - I - NOT IN THE DARK ANYMORE 🌒
➨ rio's library - good girl nbc
「 ✦ full library & archive ✦ 」
I - Not in the dark anymore
Author's Note: Record scratch … I was working through some writer's block when this concept came to me. Instead of letting it pass here it is. I can promise part two because it’s already outlined.
Pairing: Rio X Reader
Word Count: 2K
Warning: Mature themes and mentions of cheating.
Summary: What is supposed to be a romantic date night with your husband quickly descends to a night of nightmares after meeting a charismatic entrepreneur named Rio with what you perceive to be an uncanny insight on your current situation.
Rio scans the floor of his newest business endeavour. He’s been successful at counterfeiting but now he needs new ways to wash his money. His bars had been doing so good he decided to move into the restaurant business. While notoriously fickle he didn't have the same financial restraints as other new owners. It only took him six months to find his foothold in the industry and now he had one of the city's most in demand establishments for special occasions. Looking around he spots a gentleman who was in the last time he’s stopped by to check on things. Looking across from the man he sees you sitting all done up. He needed strong attention to detail in his line of work. It was a safety precaution but your body language brings the situation into full view. Sitting back he looks under the table only to have his suspicions confirmed. The other woman had her foot up halfway to your dates crotch under the table.
“Table twelve seems familiar” he mutters to his general manager.
“Ahh, he was with a different girl. Excellent tip” His GM responds and Rio takes another look locating the ring set on your left hand. You were the wife.
“Decline all his reservations moving forward. I don’t care how well he tips. Only friends should be here that often.” Rio says watching closely. He had his principles in business and in life. There were simply some things men didn't do. Bringing their girlfriends to the city's best restaurants before their wives was top of mind.
“Done” the GM says as Rio makes his way into the back to look at the accounting. Everything needed to be in perfect working order for things to work. The restaurant would be a stepping stone to more. Food had never been a passion of his but he could sell an experience to people who wanted to pretend for a few hours. Besides, it had cost him virtually nothing and turned a huge profit every week. He steps out tucking his weekly take home pay behind the bar, walking around it to be served a drink. You're in his perfect line of sight. He watches you reach for your husband as he gets up, throwing cash down onto the table and kissing you goodbye. He watches you sigh and watch as he leaves. Shaking his head he turns back to his glass.
“Hey can you give the waiter this. I was sitting over there” Rio hears turning to you.
Fuck, shes bad.
His thoughts run the gamut as he looks you over. Thinking back to the other woman he rakes through his memory for her. She had nothing on you besides maybe being slightly younger.
“Thank you” hears cluing back into the conversation you're having with his bartender.
“I’ll have the third course brought to the bar” the bartender says with a smile.
“Perfect” you nod, sending him a smile.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Rio asks, looking you over. Turning, you are startled by a second by the handsome stranger wildly underdressed for the establishment.
“My husband took care of it thanks” you smile, making him do the same. He’s handsome.
“My husband took care of it” He mocks, chuckling to himself more amused than anything else. “Where is he?” Rio says bringing a glass to his lips.
“Something came up at work” you respond.
She believes the lie too. Rio smiles to himself looking up at the clock, “What, does he deliver babies? Is the hospital short staffed?”
“No, he’s a consultant with a global clientele. You know time zones” you explain.
“Time Zones couldn't keep me off my wife on a Friday night if she looked like you.” Rio comments. Your cheeks burn at the forward implications just as the third course is placed in front of you.
“Compliments of the chef,” the server smiles.
“Thanks” you smile. It looks great.
“Is it good?” Rio asks after a few minutes.
“Mhm” you nod weary of the flirtatious stranger.
“Which time zone clients do I have to thank for this?” Rio asks, pointing between the two of you.
“Japan” you respond.
“To Japan” Rio raises a glass. “Rio, by the way,” he says, holding out a hand.
“Y/N” you respond, shaking his hand.
“Y/N you’re too trusting” Rio says stirring the pot.
“If you want to keep this pleasant please don't disrespect my marriage” you respond and Rio raises his hands.
“Boss, can I get you anything?” the GM says as he sees Rio at the bar.
“Good thanks,” Rio nods.
Looking at him suddenly his simple attire makes sense. Simple and all black was classic and understated in spite of the black tie dress code. Clearly no one was sending him home and the restaurant's food was never on delivery menus. Owner. Not a service professional. You nod to yourself impressed with his accomplishment.
“You own this place?” you ask and he nods reluctantly.
“A few more lowkey spots around the city as well”
You offer cordial conversation.“Congrats, the food is good and it was hell to get reservations”
“Not for Y/N, not anymore.” he smirks and you shake your head. Rio laughs a little, he can't remember the last time he had to try so hard. Clearly you’d signed up for a lifetime of attention and here he was taking up for your husband's shortcomings.
“How kind” your tone is laced with sarcasm.
“I’m not kind, when you realise your man ain't shit you should eat good and stay fine. Do it here where I can see it. If you need to hire someone to beat his ass on your behalf come see me and I got you. I know people.” he says so cavalier it's off putting. There’s no more smirk and you feel slightly queasy in your stomach.
“That’s not funny” you frown.
“I don’t think so either but there’s a very short list of things that could make me leave you at the table. Work isn't one of them, Love” he mutters. Deep down you know he’s right. Something isn't right with your husband James. Recently work has taken precedent. His promotion has been taking all of his attention leaving very little to you. To make matters worse you moved here away from your family, friends and support system to be his. He’d been reluctant to have you move and has put very little time into helping you adjust to the move along with spending quality time. Work has affected all facets of your life including his libido. It was why Rio was practically foaming at the mouth with dilated pupils at the sight of you. It was a three hour process and special creation to set the mood for the night but James hadn’t reacted how you wanted him to. Japan had been at the forefront of his mind. He’d checked his phone more times than you found necessary before getting a call. He spent five minutes in the washroom before coming back and telling you he needed to rush to the office. Reaching forward you wave for the bartender.
“I've lost my appetite. Please thank the waiter” you smile standing from the bar stool. He nods and Rio rises at the same time. His hands go into his pockets following you out as all the staff bid the ‘boss’ goodbye. You hand the valet your ticket first and yet somehow Rio’s G-Wagon appears before your car. He smirks, having made an impression. When your car rolls around Rio gets the door after the valet gets out.
“I’m at the Clique most weekends. Sevens bar during the week, in case you need a man handled. Drive safe, Love” he says once you're in the driver's seat and buckled in. You wonder why you havent told him to fuck off yet until you see an eerie honesty in his eyes.
Your drive home is in complete silence with the exception of your signals and the natural sounds of the road. You feel too unsettled to relax. Once in your house you have to stop yourself from walking a track across your living room rug. You take a bath which does not work to settle your nerves. You brew valerian root tea when all else fails and there is still no peace. You lay in your marital bed tossing and turning until you hear the garage. It’s after three in the morning. You contemplate your options and hear James coming up the stairs ten minutes later. You slow your breath and close your eyes pretending to be asleep. The door opens and he enters walking straight into the ensuite bathroom. Silent tears roll down your eyes. He gets in bed without giving you any affection allowing your mind to run wild. Your alarm wakes you at 7am and you head downstairs to prepare his breakfast for his day ahead. Saturday mornings and afternoons are for golf and client relations. You throw something together quickly and head upstairs to find him in the shower. You spot his phones on the nightstand and grab his personal device.
You try a few passcodes when his work phone starts buzzing. Forfeiting his personal device something drives you to check his work phone. You unlock the phone from memory and scroll through his messages. There are client names you recognize, all with flags attached to them. A message from Japan comes in and you open it only for your stomach to fall.
You scroll for what feels like forever screen recording quickly as you make it up to three weeks. Heartbroken you airdrop yourself the evidence before breaking into his personal phone with new conviction. You nearly drop it when you see nudes and explicit messages. Your hand is trembling as you hear the water stop. You delete your screen recordings from the work phone, locking both devices and laying them as they were. Your hearts in your ass, your eyes stinging as tears threaten to fall. You walk into your office screaming into a pillow. Unable to act like all is well you stay put in there. James shouts you a goodbye before leaving. You pull up the security footage and scroll as far back as you can see. Your only consolation is he hasnt brought the whore back to your home. Still, it doesn't erase the intimacy of the messages. It doesn't erase the deceit and callousness of his lies and actions. It doesn't erase your heartache or the fact that he’s been lying heartlessly for months. Doesn’t negate the truth of his libido being well and intact, not for you but for her.
You sit for hours in a daze ignoring your daily routine before deciding to head to the spa. Heading upstairs you take off your rings, unable to wear the gifts from such a low down asshole. A manicure, pedicure, sauna and a full body massage doesnt bring you any reprieve. You still feel terrible as clarity dawns. You get the full picture of his betrayal. The pain is too much. Eight years together, five married and this is what it's come to. The visual of his mistress pleasuring herself is etched into your mind, along with the messages between them. Worst of all was the most recent. The mistress thanking your husband for blowing you off to care for her needs. Sitting in the lot of the spa after hours you punch the steering wheel before leaning into it and honking until you’ve stopped screaming.
Anger wins. Visualising James in the hospital brings you more peace than everything else you've tried. Looking in his eyes pretending to be shocked and concerned while being the root of his current predicament is the kind of sweet karma that allows you to exhale for the first time in hours. Hospital visits because you got him fucked up for his indiscretion. After years of being whatever he wanted whenever. Without even a heads up or him expressing any discontent. Blindly trusting him when he’s been in another relationship. Bystanders look in shock as you pull out of the lot burning rubber with one destination in mind.
Club Clique, to see a man named Rio.
Author's Note: thanks for reading, this one will be a little fast paced and unhinged. Very toxic because from what I can see that's what you all enjoy most. Rio being messy was my favourite part! Like, Comment, Reblog and interact with the poll.
» next part
All my love,
xoxo
#masterlist#rio x reader#rio x you#rio good girls#good girls rio#manny montana x reader#rio imagine#manny montana fanfiction#rio good girls fanfiction#rio good girls imagine
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PAC : How can u express your affection to your partner while having sex ? (18+)
Oh...Today drain me...
Good evening pretty souls ! I am so excited ... IS OFFICIALLY KINKTOBER ! DAY : 17-18
You want to have a more detailed readings (for 2.22$), you can join my Chérie d'Amour (soul tribe)
SEX Doula =SALE READING
PILE 1
Strenght (reverse), knight of wands (reverse),8 cups, 9 pentacles
You guys are very photogenic. Your friends love taking pictures of you and may even do it without you knowing. Y’all are very aesthetically pleasing people. On the other hand, y’all can’t not take a good picture to save yourself. You are incapable of finding the angle or even placing the phone properly, worse than boomers for some. Which ends up pissing off your friends. Y’all are not tech savvy. We are lucky you even know how to use your phone.
The way you show your affection is by having no control on the relationship. Wherever the flow brings y’all, you cool with it. You don’t care for labels and you are down for literally anything. Don’t care and you will never care for the title ‘’ relationship’’, you don’t mind being ‘’just friends’’ forever. You guys can move in together, fuck each other cuddle, go to hopsital appointment and share y’all deepest secret and even convince a kid with no title. You will not have shame or even be scared to explain your situation to people around you because you don’t mind how unorthodox it is. That being said for technicalities, you will allow your partner to explore sexual endeavors with other people. Even allowing them to hold their own independence meaning living in the same house but sleeping in different bedrooms. If y’all share an abundance with each other, you can share a mansion. Like the east side is yours and the south side is his/hers. You will show your affection by holding no taboo against them. They can possess any sex toys; they might even introduce you to their sex dolls, if they feel like it. Y’all may not even have sex at all… some of y’all is giving lavender marriage. Maybee ? I don’t know ? I have no clear indication of such but the way I am writing it, it sure sounds like it. Another way to show your affection is by accepting their belief, y’all may have different religion or practice. Lastly you may show your affection by not expecting anything material from them (which lowkey breaks one of the principles of Lavender marriage …). You don’t expect a ring, a car, or even roses on valentine day’s. All things said , it is really a show of going with the flow. If they decide to do it, you don’t mind doing it too. If they dim all the little gestures unnecessary then so do you. Ultimately your ‘’ no pressure’’ attitude is going to be the best way you show affection to them which can simulate their sexual appetite.
💌 : FIND OUT, How your partner use their fingers in the bedroom ? on Ko-fi.
PILE 2
Queen swords, 4 swords, 7 pentacles (reverse), 2 pentacles
Y’all are adopted. Y’all were in the system until 10 years old ( max ) then your life took another turn for the best. You always loved your adoptive family. They always welcomed you and poured into you. The whole family is always showering you with gifts, affection and support but you need an answer. You got them, you quickly realize that you dodge the bullet. Your biological family may be very abusive.
The way you show your affection with your partner in a sexual setting starts with foreplay. You may indulge in giving your full attention to them. You are the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend for nerds. You will let them rant bout all the rules in the new fantasy world in which they are obese about while giving them the ‘’fuck me’’ eyes. You have beautiful brown eyes with stars in them when you are looking at something that you love. Sex apart, they love the way you look at them. You make them feel like the most loved human being with only a look from you. The appreciation, tenderness, passion all of it in the iris of your eyes is making them love sick. Back to the sex, the way you listen and UNDERSTAND (at least try) make them feel fucking special. You even go as far as engaging in conversation with them which they looooove. Even when you are clumsy with the concept of a subject you don’t get mad when they correct you. Artists would be the perfect pair for you too. Not only are you the perfect muse (we are going to get into it later…) but you are a smart one. You don’t mind diving into the critics of philosopher, you don’t mind debating who is the best musician of the Renaissance, you don’t mind sitting down and letting your partner paint your back when they are overstimulated and you don’t mind listening to your partner singing for hours until they find perfect note. You have the patience of a God and that makes them want to give it all to you. Honestly you love discussing and especially debating because that’s why you turn on. So everything I listed is something they naturally do and everything is a way to get your panties wet/cock hard. Yes, paint on bareback and let your hand caress. Yes, sing to me how good I make you feel in between the sheets. Yes, debate the principle of Aristotle with me and show your passion. I love how you are trying to make your point while at the same focusing on my juicy lips. Ok! Pile 2, your energy fully took over for a minute. Another way you show your affection is by making sure they reach their orgasm. It doesn't matter if they are tired after going hammers into you and making you cum at least 3 times.It doesn't matter if you are worn out. You need them to cum or you are dying … Ok a bit dramatic… (I feel like y’all are natural drama queen/king). You will give them a handjob or you will rub their clit. You will do what is require for with the power still left in you to deliver your duty (Like I said fucking dramatic). Plus you will love to dive into the pleasure of a long intensive edging session, y’all can go for weeks edging. Playing with each other without actually reaching the sinful need of the body. Building the orgasm with each other and not cheating even when you are really really really horny. Is almost a principle of respect for you. Lastly, you are acceptive of them in the bedroom. You don’t shame them for their kinks, you encourage them to go for it. You allow an open and affectionate communication for y’all to discuss y'all fantasy, kinks , experience, need, want, desire, etc…
💌 : Also don't feel bad because you have leaned on your partner through out the whole quest to your roots adventure. While you were trying to puzzle the truth regarding your identity, your partner felt needed and not at all annoyed. So relief yourself from that guilt. They are fine. FIND OUT, How your partner use their fingers in the bedroom ? on Ko-fi.
PILE 3
9 wands (reverse), 2 cups, Knight wands, Tower (reverse)
Y’all are going through it mentally. You are deep in a depression rut. Y’all are victime of sexual harassment and you are healing. Is not as bad as it was but you know… sometimes the voice gets loud all over again. I am sending all the love I can,your way. You and I know it is going to get better and that the worse will pass. You just need to hang in there until you find the pace and you power back again. You knew your ex before y’all became a couple. He was a good friend when the accident happened and he came back into your life. He did not mean to leave you, you know we get busy with life and distance gets created. Naturally the Divine opens a path for you to welcome them back into your life. Then you open up and it was good and got very bad again. So you decide to cut the relationship so you can heal some more without being a burden. They are going insane Pile 3. Don’t get me wrong, they are respecting your choice. But I have the vision of someone tearing up while doing their homework. Everytime they get back into their apartment at the end of the day, they literally get in a fetus position for a good 5 minutes reminiscing about you. They pray often which is ironic since they never believe in God or anything like that. Begging them to give them your pain and leaving you alone. That you suffer enough. The tears also are not something they do. Is not that they are emotionally available, they are just very masculine .
This section of the reading is from their POV .
They love making love to you. They love caressing you. They love your cellulite. They love your small boobs, they love your stomach, they love your thick tights ( I’m so sorry but I need to say that I am fucking rooting for them. Out here pushing through the tears to deliver the message. Ironic, I rarely get REALLY emotional. If only you could feel what I am feeling …) and they love your hair (another message came through, One of your ex told you he hurted you because you were ugly and that he cheated because he loved blond … your man (I know y’all are not together but I am FUCKING rooting fo them) is screaming : I LOVE YOUR BROWN HAIR !). They kissed every part of you because they wished to make all the bad memories go away. They wish they could erase any trace of your abuser away. Is not about lust, it is all about the true passion that goes straight to their dick when they see you. Is not about owning you or winning you over. Is about protecting you and giving you the love you always deserve. They love having sex with you. When y’all were together, you could not keep y’all hands off each other. In a fucked up way you brain twisted that damm information (swear I am not mad at your brain, she is a victim too. So she is doing anything in her power to protect herself) making you feel that they only want you because of sex. Because that’s all a man can ever want from you. That’s all you are good for. You are undeserving of love because you are broken good ( Yes… Is me … again … YOU ARE NOT FUCKING BROKEN GOOD ! YOU HEARD ME ! You better tell your brain to get her shit together real quick. Is going to take time but let’s start by dropping the concept that you are damaged goods. I don’t want you to EVER think that.) The reality is they love you so much they can’t resist you. The mere fact that they can indulge in your affection is their biggest blessing. They are so grateful (Going back to their prayers, they are grateful that the Divine kept you alive and safe until you came back to them) that they get to share intimate moments with you. That you even let them see you in that seductive light. There’s nothing you can, God can do, I can do that's going to stop them from going back to you. There’s nothing that happens to you no matter how bad it is, that’s going to disgust them . There's nothing you can do that’s going to make them run away. Ever since you came back into their life, the flowers bloom, the sun shines and the birds chip. You brought the color back into their life. You brought joy to the mundane. Sex with you is an explosion of good feelings, fireworks even. They love sliding into you, seeing your face twisting in pleasure not in pain. A pleasure they are giving you and a pain they are protecting you from, safe in his presence . They often push you to keep your eyes focused on them because they want you to see you are safe. You are loved and you choose a good one proving you it was never your fault. Nothing you could have done was worth that punishment.
***BONUS***
How can you cope with your sexual wound ?
Spirit has an extra message dedicated to you.
The ultimate problem of this relationship is the perception of yourself. Before we get any further, I am not here to hurt you (Trust me, I understand you more than you think). You need to contextualize what happened to you. Maybe you are not ready to get help, maybe you are not ready to talk about… fuck maybe you just not ready to deal with it but you need to realize that he is not him. I understand that your brain wants to protect you from all the ‘’him’’. Maybe repeat to yourself out loud, ‘’ (His name) is not my enemy. He is my true lover’’ everyday while you're taking a shower. When you are caressing your body with soap, remind her, she is ok with (his name). Is important that you precise the name for your body to understand that only him at least with him everything is alright. You need to find a way to make your brain and body understand that he is your protector and lover. Because your soul knows he is home. You may not know about the rest and you got hurt by the rest but him… never him … he is all love. I know you are suffering but keeping him away is killing y'all more than you think. I am not telling you to break your boundaries or get back with him, now. You can shoot him a text. Small text here and there, telling him, you are ok , you ate. It can even be random as you telling him you are watching your favorite TV show. Let your brain get used to craving intimacy at a healthy pace. Plus it will greatly ease his mind. Please stop dissociating while you are having sex (Bestie speaking from experience, don’t do it because it can become a habit … when that happens … you will try anything to go back to feeling something …), if you feel like you can’t do it, express it. I don’t care if you are in the middle of an act. I don’t care if you feel horny but you got triggered. I DON’T CARE … take a break, regulate your nervous system and come back. Last let yourself heal, there’s no race when it come to this fuck up mess. Stop comparing yourself to your past and let yourself discover the new you, who survive one of the most terrorizing situations. Much love Chérie d’Amour, you got this and I DO … love you.
💌 : FIND OUT, How your partner use their fingers in the bedroom ? on Ko-fi.
#tarot#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#divination#tarot cards#pac#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a pile#18+ tarot#future lover#love reading#kinktober
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figured out something I’ve been idly spinning on for a long time while assigning pokemon to the sinners, of all things
It’s about Meursault
I believe his Canto will be about dehumanization. Again. Even though we’ve already seen it multiple times and will probably see it even more. But hey, Limbus Company is a game about the experience of living in this bitch of a world despite it all and dehumanization is a struggle that comes in many forms.
It might be obvious that his canto would do that, considering the murder, but I actually think the discussion of how his victim, whoever it may have been (since The City seems to be over our version of racism and colonialism in favor of… other shit + Classism EX), was not treated as an equal class of citizen as Meursault (this is actually false. more on that next paragraph), will be secondary to Meursault’s own dehumanization.
In his source, he, a settler in French Algiers, kills an unnamed Arab. It is clear that any other white settler would have gotten away with it with a slap on the wrist- the court expected his trial to go quickly and for the main event of the day to be a different trial- but Meursault in particular is not afforded that privilege because the court believes him to be inhuman for- you guessed it- not crying at his mother's funeral. And also being an atheist and going out with his girlfriend the day after that funeral and asking for a cigarette when he wasn't supposed to and only a tiny bit the part where he shot the corpse 4 times, the point is it's over the stupid stuff not the stuff that matters
“[The prosecutor] said that he had peered into [my soul] and that he had found nothing, gentlemen of the jury. He said the truth was that I didn’t have a soul and that nothing human, not one of the moral principles that govern men’s hearts, was within my reach.”
In other words, this is a narrative about how quickly someone who you might think is part of the in-group can be cast out. He’s The Stranger, if you will.
N Corp is the Wing that values the concept of "humanity" perhaps the most in the entire City and I'm certain he has history with that view working to his detriment.
What's actually more important than what's happening within the story is "the cold, uncaring gaze of the anonymous masses"- the real world, that is- not that it's not all happening in-universe too.
I'm pretty sure jokes explicitly calling Meursault a robot have fallen to the wayside (though I don't exactly look for them so I'm not sure) in favor of the joke that Meursault can do literally anything if he is ordered to. He can become S Tier. He can manifest EGO. He could, I don't know, defeat Goku if Dante told him to. And so the tone changes, but... the sentiment doesn't. He's superhuman now, not subhuman, but he's still not a normal human.
The same goes for how the other sinners treat him. He's a wonderful source of information, almost like an encyclopedia. He can run fast with perfect breathing and he's strong and he can give massages. He is the perfect man- something I have seen said on a few of my Meursault posts. The easy solution to any physical problem.
Even his quirk of not being a good judge of when he should be taking action or telling people about things doesn't really matter anymore, since it has an easy "fix"- just telling him exactly what you want to be done. Goodness knows he's capable of it.
Even Vergilius seems to add to this view of him- Meursault gets one of the very few positive special voicelines from him in the announcer booth.
And the only announcer line of his to individual sinners that can't be read in a backhanded way.
He is less than human, or he is more than human. How does Meursault himself feel about any of this? Does he care? His input is valued more than before, which is great, but he still really just expresses observations and recites objective facts, not opinions and personal values.
...They don't actually like his personal values very much. Of the three occasions I can think of where he talks about what he thinks, Heathcliff in particular reacts negatively and loudly to all of them- the first is seen above, from Canto III; the third is in Canto VI, when Meursault had to go "hey I'm not finished talking yet", and though Heathcliff was Going Through It I think he also had it in his mind that he and Meursault do not tend to agree on courses of action; and the second is this one from Canto IV
(Heathcliff's words after Dante says they're going to help)
Keep an eye on this Meursault reaction. When Canto X comes out next year I'm sure we'll find out what those ellipses mean.
I believe that in his canto, the incredible, flawless image of him that the sinners have all built up in their minds will be torn down and they'll all have to contend with that. Heavy speculation, but maybe they'll even turn on him for a little bit, unable to cope with the shock that he's done something so terrible.
You know, how parasocial relationships and cancel culture works in real life.
As much as I like the idea of him having some connection to distortion (Carmen as the sun from the book is just too good), I think if he's anything but 100% human it cheapens his story. He's the perfect specimen by N Corp standards, and he's still not good enough, by metrics he could never hope to understand.
That is how I think The Stranger will be adapted.
#limbus company#project moon#l'etranger#meursault#meursault lcb#me post#woooooo big one#idk if it makes sense or is coherent but here it is#in other words ooooh mama! neurodivergence can be a bitch
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bbzzzz bzzzzzztttt...
your phone has been buzzing over the coffee table for two minutes. two minutes and 14 seconds.
sigh
you rise from the table—the very table overflowing with godforsaken paperwork the godforsaken higher-ups have assigned you to finish. you’re trying to focus and get everything finished as soon as possible, but the obnoxiously person trying to call you on the phone wouldn’t let you right now.
͏͏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀toruru !! ^_^ (ate ur cookies) (do not answer.)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ringing . . . ✆ ⠀⠀⠀ 1:27 pm⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀answer ၊ decline
of course, it’s no other than your idiot of a boyfriend
clicking the answer button, cause who are you to resist him anyways? . . . “satoru.” you say unimpressed. “baby!! :D” the cheerful voice on the other side exclaims.
“aren’t you supposed to be on a mission right now?”
“uhuh,” satoru scoffs, “’m on the same mission you forced me to go because you hate me so much!”
“satoru, sigh it’s your job, your responsibility. you can’t just ditch an order from principle yaga because you wanna stay at home cuddling me.” you respond
“can’t a man just have some quality time with his dearest girlfriend in peace?” satoru whines over the phone
“toru, baby,”
“fine.. :(” oh, you were so sure you could almost hear his smile turn into a frown. that being said, “why’d you call?” asking, looking back over at your unfinished paperwork, oh the higher ups might just beat your ass.
dating satoru means also having to deal with his long phone calls. you’re aware you could easily just hang up on him, but unfortunately for you, sometimes you don’t even realize you got too caught up in the moment. you love him too much, too much you can effortlessly handle his obnoxiously long phone calls—and he doesn’t even talk about anything important or necessary! and you think, maybe, you’re just as down bad as he is for you.
“oh yeah! heh, sorry babe, your voice made my mind go blank.” — “you’ll never guess what kind of technique these so called first grade cursed spirits have!” and he asks you to turn your camera on—in which you did-
revealing a bunch of cats spawning and jumping everywhere “look at the kind of domain expansion this guy has!” satoru was in an innate domain with cats just swarming the area. satoru called you to show he was in an innate domain with cats just swarming the area. because he knew.
“oh my gosh.” you say in shock. staring at whatever is happening in your screen. “toru toru! bring me one! maybe that one or or-” the cats were so cute. you absolutely loved cats. you adored them, each and every one you’ve ever seen. whether they were strays on the street or pampered pets, they were all just so adorable.
because he knew you absolutely loved cats.
these cats though, were aggressive. aggressively cute though—trying so hard to scratch your boyfriend which was impossible, all attacks were effortlessly blocked by his infinity.
“uhhh, uhhh.. no can do sweets. just look at these sly pussies trying to scratch my glorious face! i can’t let them do that to your even-more-glorious face. they’re dangerous! can’t let them hurt my baby.” he responses.
“uhm, no. you’re just rambling satoru. they’d love me.” you retort. satoru was more of a dog person—he doesn’t know such shit about cats. he doesn’t like them. but you teach him anyways; how to properly hold them, what kind food you shouldn’t feed them, etc etc,
and he actually listens.
“no baby! anyways, you know that guy over there? yeah, him. he can create pizza with cursed energy and throw it at me! it’s surprisingly strong to be fair.. but y’know they stand no chance against me.” there goes his ego as always.
“anyways—what kind of pizza do you want? tell me which toppings and i gotchu baby.”
“so you’re telling me, you’d rather get me pizza, imbued with cursed energy, which you say is pretty strong, but not cats?” you hiss, raising a brow over the phone.
“uhhhh... yeah? ( ' ⩊ '𖦹)”
this is so dumb tbh but i jst had pizza for dinner i couldn’t not think about my glorious king
#𓇼 ׂ#( ꩜ rury closet ★#⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀#i miss him 💔#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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i think when you're literally so young as to be underaged to smoke cigarettes, smoking can teach some positive rebellious principles. you have to take hold of your agency and think operationally. because you can't just buy them you have to figure out how to obtain them. and because they stink, you have to figure out where to smoke them. since that means you'll most often have to be outdoors when smoking them, you'll have to start thinking about your town as a place broken up into safe and surveilled regions. you can use your local knowledge, such as what places your family and relatives tend to frequent, to help carry out the operation. all of these are useful skills.
but at the same time it's also the beginning of the end; as a child you ignored signs that said "No Ball Games" and only thought about CCTV cameras when you kicked a football into one and broke it. it was a bad thing to be beaten by your superiors, but it didn't make you apprehensive of doing it again, because you were a little child and didn't understand what was happening. by the time you're old enough to consider smoking or drinking unlawfully, you're old enough to worry about surveillance, too. thus you adopt forms of rebellion against it that, nevertheless, teach you to respect its modes and orders of civil life. you behave differently around the cameras so as not to draw attention to yourself or your petty crimes. and then the Benthemite mission is fiat accompli. we have successfully socialized ourselves into a condition of domestication.
plus, you have to talk to a lot of shady adults who buy drugs for teenagers. a type of guy who you know very well as a little child but who (as my girlfriend says) seems to disappear when you turn 18. but he must not disappear really, you just don't need him. where is he? who is he? which adult have you met this week who puts money on horses for fourteen year olds, and faithfully hands over their winnings? how queer!
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The couple functions as both the problem and its solution. If not this one, she just needs another boyfriend, one that will treat her better. A woman may feel the nausea of ambivalence, of being caught between obsession with phallic power and revulsion from it. She does not know which is greater, the melancholia of the couple or the melancholia of denouncing it as a social form. Most opt for the sadness of the couple over the alienation of being cut loose from its grasp. Capital lends a shoulder at every turn, suggesting you watch a rom com with your girlfriends when heartbroken or providing endless ways to personalize your wedding dress. Similar to the framework of electoral politics that limits the scope of critique to the wrong people being in office, the couple-form attributes women’s problems to dating the wrong man rather than to the couple itself. As long as she stays invested in the idea of romantic love as salvation, as the guiding principle against isolation and towards fulfillment, she remains tied to the couple-form.
As another facet of the couple-as-solution, the discourses surrounding austerity measures and neoliberal restructuring frame the couple as a remedy for poverty. One reads tales of young people shifting between poverty and prison as a result of single parenting, especially absent fathers, as if the restitution of the couple could remedy the poverty and structural racism produced by capitalism. State bureaucrats tell women that the couple and the family that it anchors have replaced social assistance programs: you don’t need help with childcare or food stamps; you need a man! The surest way out of poverty is to get married! While many women might never have access to employment, those who do work for a wage face a gendered discrepancy in earnings, likely forcing them to rely on male wages to support their children. These economic mechanisms preserve the vehemence of the couple-form as a trap for women within capitalism, which masks unwaged labor as acts of love and care.
[...]
The logic of the couple penetrates queer relationships as well as straight ones. Homonormativity and gay assimilation have fashioned queer relationships in the shape of straight coupledom. Rather than a subversion of heterosexual social relations, assimilationist, liberal homosexuals have fought for the right to fit into the logic of the couple — to get married, to wear a wedding dress, to create familial nuclei able to protect property relations. Homosexuals perpetuate heterosexual norms and phallocracy through categorizations and role-play, which further codify desires and constitute sex within the logic of phallic centrality and authority. Same sex couples do not escape either the territoriality imposed on desire or the couple’s reinforcement and faithfulness to repressive social relations.
Dismantling the logic of the couple does not indicate distaste for love, but rather a critique of directing love towards a specific object. One must contextualize the couple-form within patriarchy, as so-called ‘love’ arrives to us through the apparatus of gender. Denouncing the couple does not mean shunning giddiness, love letters written in tiny cursive with quill pens, or the feeling of the sidewalk being a trampoline. Rather, critiquing the couple involves an analysis of the way that patriarchy has recuperated women’s desire for solidarity, for intimacy, for excitement, for negation, for the event into a consolidation of phallic power and the accumulation of capital.
Who would not arrive at this conclusion: patriarchy and capitalism thwart any possibility to love in a way that liberates oneself from the logic of the couple or from one’s own oppression. To liberate love necessarily involves the abolition of patriarchy and capitalism. One cannot opt in or out of these structural relations, and the struggle against them will be a collective, historical project.
In this pathetic, stillborn world, we do have feelings. Sometimes we look at someone and think we are in love with them. We must crush the illusion that romance is or will be an avenue for liberation.
Against the Couple Form, Clémence X Clementine and Associates from the Infinite Venom Girl Gang
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We talked about how much LoV are a bunch of loser. And what about the heroes?
Let’s cut to the chase: Hero society in MHA is a rotten system, and the story kinda fumbles its own critique.
First off, the heroes are hypocrites, full stop. They drag kids into warzones, park high-value targets in hospitals they know villains will attack, and stay silent when one of their own gets exposed as a domestic abuser or a murderer-for-hire. Endeavor screams about Shoto being his “masterpiece” (read: tool) in public, and nobody cares. Not All Might, not the media—nobody. If the #2 hero can openly treat his kid like a science project and still get worshipped, what’s stopping other heroes from doing worse behind closed doors? Spoiler: nothing.
Then there’s the redemption double standard. Lady Nagant murders people for the government, pulls a half-hearted “I’m sorry,” and gets to walk free because she’s “useful.” She chooses to stay in Jail. Hawks would have let her out. Meanwhile, Stain—who at least had principles, even if they were insane—gets butchered for trying to save All Might. Machia? Brainwashed, used as a meat shield, and left to die. But Gentle Criminal, a dude who wanted to be a hero before life kicked him down? He gets a cozy ending with his girlfriend. The lesson? If you’ve ever dreamed of being a hero, the system will cut you slack. If not? Enjoy the ditch.
And let’s not pretend the heroes have moral high ground. They break rules, cover up crimes, and let abusers keep their jobs—just like real-world power structures. Cops with 40% domestic abuse rates? Swap “cops” for “pro heroes” and it’s the same story. Endeavor isn’t a freak exception; he’s the product of a system that says, “Be strong, and you can do whatever you want.” The narrative acts like his abuse is a personal failure, but where are the checks and balances? The oversight? Nowhere.
The kicker? The story wants us to root for these heroes while also showing them as incompetent, reactive, and morally bankrupt. They win not because they’re better, but because the villains are written to trip over their own shoelaces. At the end of the day, it’s all monkeys flinging shit—heroes just have nicer costumes.
TL;DR: MHA points out hero society’s flaws but chickens out on dismantling them. It’s all “Endeavor feels bad now!” and zero “Let’s burn this corrupt system down.” So yeah, why should we respect these heroes? They’re just villains with better PR, who get rewarded with a completely unearned utopian ending that magically solved all of the issues off screen. You see, the problem with All Might beating All For One to death is that he didn't do it on live TV and in front of witnesses, and he also didn't finish the job. Deku beat Shigaraki into dust, and so that solved crime forever. That's why he's better than All Might and the greatest hero.
#bnha critical#mha critical#mha criticism#mmmasks#anti mha ending#ua critical#anti endeavor#anti hawks#anti ua#mha critique#mha meta
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