#-essay out of it. and when they don't show up i cry about it. but i need to listen to at least a little for the next few days. its on loan)

[welcometogrouchland]

I have had a million important things happen this week w/ more to come (got 5 college offers, get to be interviewed on local radio, have to meet the mayor for the third(?) time this year, get to attend a film pitch, etc) and I can't appreciate any of it because I am just so scared of an email I have to send

[rosesareredrosa]

When Laughter Fades

Mattheo Riddle x fem reader

Summary: Mattheo takes things too far with his "banter" and didn't notice y/n's feelings of hurt and anger until one day she decides to speak up and Mattheo has to change to keep the relationship steady

Authors note: Sorry anon for the wait this was randomly so hard

Word Count: 1070

Mattheo Riddle loved pulling pranks. They brought him joy and amusement, especially when his favorite target, Y/N, was involved. She usually laughed along with him, but he didn't realize how close he was to crossing the line until today.

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and the Slytherin common room was buzzing with students enjoying their free time. Y/N was seated at a table, diligently working on an essay for Potions class. Mattheo, ever the prankster, watched her from across the room, a devious idea forming in his mind.

He slipped out of the common room and returned moments later with a small enchanted box. Inside it was a jinxed snake that would leap out and hiss at whoever opened it. He approached Y/N's table with a casual grin.

"Hey, Y/N, I found this weird box in the Room of Requirement. Want to see what's inside?" he asked, holding out the box to her.

Y/N glanced up, raising an eyebrow but smiling. "Sure, Mattheo. Let's see it."

As soon as she opened the box, the snake leaped out, hissing loudly. Y/N screamed, knocking over her ink bottle in the process. Ink splattered all over her essay and her robes. Her face paled, and then flushed with a mix of fear and anger.

"Mattheo, what the hell!" she shouted, her voice trembling.

Mattheo's grin faltered. "It's just a prank, Y/N. It's a fake snake, see?"

He picked up the snake, which had now returned to its inanimate state, and showed it to her. But Y/N wasn't laughing.

"Just a prank? Look at my essay, my robes! This isn't funny, Mattheo. You always do this, and I'm sick of it!" Tears welled up in her eyes as she glared at him.

"Y/N, I didn't mean to—" Mattheo started, but she cut him off.

"That's the problem, Mattheo. You never mean to, but you always end up hurting me. Maybe you should think before you act."

With that, she turned on her heel and left the common room, leaving Mattheo standing there, guilt and regret washing over him. He watched her go, the weight of his actions sinking in.

Days passed, and Y/N avoided Mattheo. The usual spark in her eyes was gone, replaced by a guarded, wary look. Mattheo's heart ached every time he saw her, knowing he had put that look there. He had to make things right, but he didn't know how. Apologies had never been his strong suit.

One evening, after searching for Y/N around the castle, Mattheo finally found her in the library, sitting in a secluded corner. Her face was buried in her arms, and she looked up as he approached, her eyes red-rimmed from crying.

"Y/N," he said softly, approaching her table. "Please, can we talk?"

She looked up, her expression weary. "What do you want, Mattheo?"

"I want to apologize. I was an idiot, and I took things way too far. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. I'm so sorry, Y/N."

"You always say you're sorry, but then you do it again. How can I believe you this time?"

"I know I've messed up," he continued, "but I promise I'll change. No more pranks, no more teasing. I care about you, and I don't want to lose your friendship."

Y/N stood up, her frustration boiling over. "You care about me? You have a funny way of showing it. Every time I start to trust you, you pull another stupid prank. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?"

"Y/N, please, I never meant to hurt you. I just thought it was all in good fun."

"Good fun? Fun for who, Mattheo? Because it's not fun for me. It's humiliating and cruel."

Mattheo felt his heart sink. He hadn't realized just how much pain he had caused her. "I... I didn't see it that way. I thought we were just playing around."

"Playing around? This isn't a game, Mattheo. These are my feelings. And every time you pull one of your 'pranks,' it feels like you're saying my feelings don't matter."

"I'm sorry," Mattheo said, his voice breaking. "I really am. I don't want to lose you, Y/N."

She sighed, her anger giving way to exhaustion. "I don't know if I can trust you again, Mattheo. You've hurt me too many times."

"I'll prove it to you," he said desperately. "I'll show you that I can change. No more pranks, I swear. Just give me a chance."

Y/N looked at him, her eyes filled with a mix of hope and doubt. "Alright, Mattheo. But this is your last chance. If you hurt me again, we're done."

He nodded fervently. "I won't let you down. I promise."

In the days that followed, Mattheo made good on his promise. He was attentive, considerate, and kind. He helped Y/N with her studies, brought her favorite snacks, and most importantly, he listened. But he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that things weren't the same. Y/N was more reserved, her laughter less frequent, and Mattheo feared that he had caused irreparable damage.

One night, as they sat by the lake, watching the sunset, Y/N broke the silence. "Mattheo, do you ever think about the future?"

He glanced at her, surprised by the question. "Sometimes. Why?"

"I've been thinking a lot lately. About us, about everything that's happened. I want to trust you, but it's hard. Every time I see you, I remember the hurt."

Mattheo's heart clenched. "Y/N, I promise I'll never hurt you again. I care about you so much."

She turned to him, her eyes filled with a mix of hope and sorrow. "I want to believe you, Mattheo. But it's going to take time."

"I know. And I'm willing to wait, to do whatever it takes to make things right."

Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder, a small gesture of trust. "Thank you, Mattheo."

As they sat there, wrapped in each other's presence, Mattheo knew that this was his chance to prove himself. The road to healing would be long and difficult, but he was determined to show Y/N that he valued her far more than any prank or joke. He would cherish her, protect her, and make sure that her laughter returned, brighter and more genuine than ever before.

[skzstannie]

"I've been wanting to do that for so long"

SKZ -> Minho x fem!reader

genre: best friends to lovers, fluffffffy wc: ~1,200 cw: none :)

summary: You and Minho are finally able to make something of his consistent flirty behavior.

A/N: Hiii! A little shorter than normal, but I wanted to get something out while I work on the requests I have. Hope everyone is doing well! Please feel free to leave feedback in the comments and like/reblog- it's truly appreciated!

Also, I know a lot of you like the angst, but don't worry! The request I'm working on has lots of it 👀👀

Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!

"Please tell me we don't have to watch another one of your chick flicks tonight," Minho groans, walking into the living room from the kitchen, two bowls of popcorn in hand.

"Of course we do, do you even know me?" you tease, sinking back further into the couch. You watch as he crosses in front of you, gently setting the bowls down on the table before throwing himself down onto the couch beside you.

It's your and Minho's weekly movie night, and the two of you decided to do it at your apartment this week. Not that the dorms aren't a fun hangout place, it's just sometimes your sensitive eardrums need a break.

The two of you have been friends for forever; you actually met back in elementary school. Your box of crayons was missing the pink one, and Minho became your knight in shining armor when he valiantly and bravely gave you his. From then on, he's been by your side. Need an errand buddy to run to the store with? Minho will come. Need someone to edit your college essay? Minho will do it. Need someone to cry with you on your couch once a week while you indulge yourself in different romantic fantasies? You know Minho will be there every time.

You try not to subject him to your rom coms every week, but it's so easy and fun to immerse yourself in other people's love lives, even if just for an hour and a half.

Your love life is close to non-existent. Minho, and occasionally his band members, are the only male interactions you ever get. You're not necessarily the most outgoing person, so it's hard for you to meet new people.

Not that you're necessarily complaining, I mean, you're so grateful for the friendship you have with Minho, but sometimes you wish it was more than that. His consistent teasing doesn't help your constant delusions. He's always flirting with you, calling you pet names and telling you how beautiful you are. You know it's nothing more than teasing, so you try not to let it affect you.

"How about this one?" you ask him, hovering over The Kissing Booth. You've seen it a million times, but it's one of your favorites; you'll never pass up an opportunity to watch it.

"I couldn't be more indifferent," he comments dryly. You roll your eyes at him and press play, playfully tossing the remote at his side.

"Do that again and I'm snatching it up and changing it," he glances at you, his face blank of emotion. You keep your eyes on the screen, holding back a smirk.

As emotionless as your best friend could come off sometimes, you know he always means well. You are more similar than you'd like to admit, and you know just as well how hard showing other's your emotions can be.

~ ~ ~

"Haven't we watched this one before?" Minho interrupts, his finger pointing accusingly at the screen.

"Maybe..."

"You've got to be kidding me. Where's that damn remote?" his hands sweep over the couch cushions in the dark room, and he looks to you when he comes up with nothing. His narrow eyes meet your innocent ones. "Give me it. I am not watching this one again; it was terrible."

"You didn't think it was terrible 10 minutes ago when your eyes were practically glued to the screen," you counter, holding the remote tightly in your clasped hands.

He scoffs, reaching out towards you. His fingers grasp around your arm and give you a rough pull, making you topple over into him. You let out an embarrassing squawk when you both slip to the floor in your impromptu wrestling match.

You find yourself underneath him, his hands still pulling roughly at the remote.

"Give it to me!"

"No! I want to watch this!"

The struggle continues for a few moments, you desperately trying to protect the remote while Minho sits above you, practically manhandling you.

In a quick lapse of judgement, you let up a little, allowing Minho to pin your hands to the ground above your head. Both of you are breathless as you lay beneath him, a playful smirk gracing the beautiful face in front of you.

Your eyes are wide as you lay there. You expect him to get off you, but he doesn't. He unwaveringly holds his position above you.

You catch his big brown eyes switch between your eyes and your lips, and you feel your breath hitch in your throat when he leans down slightly.

It's silent between the two of you as he slowly comes closer, his gaze remaining on your lips.

Your heart drops when he brings his lips to your ear instead. "I win," he whispers, before casually plucking the remote from your previously pinned hands. He gets off you, adjusting his clothes before he plops back on the couch, immediately exiting out of the movie.

You lay there another moment, thinking about what the heck just happened and whether you're going to let him get away with it.

You sit up abruptly, staring at him with disbelief. "What the hell was that?"

"What?" his gaze remains on the T.V. screen, and you find his nonchalance irritating.

"What do you mean, 'What'?"

"We wrestle all the time, what are you on about?"

Your jaw drops at his statement. "Yes, we do, but not- not like that," you let out a flustered chuckle, shaking your head at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." When he speaks this time, you're able to catch the slightest upturn of his lips.

"You're messing with me," you tell him, not believing his actions could've been all innocent.

He finally breaks his gaze away from the T.V., setting the remote down beside him. "Now why would I do that?"

"Because- because that's what you do! You're sarcastic, and you're sly, and- and..." your frustration gets the best of you, and you bring your hands up to cover your face. You feel your cheeks burn red with embarrassment.

"What did you think was going to happen? Did you want me to kiss you like Noah did to Elle?"

You rip your hands away from your face at that, your jaw dropping at his suggestion. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," his voice is steady, his eye contact strong as he stands his ground. "We've been doing this long enough. I just want to know if this is reciprocated."

"If what's reciprocated?"

"You know, this- this thing between us. Is it reciprocated? Like, do you like like me like I like like you?" He raises an eyebrow at you, waiting for an answer you're hesitant to give.

"You're not messing with me?" you're cautious as the question leaves your lips.

"No, I'm not. How can I spell it out for you," he pauses, bringing a hand up to his chin in an exaggerated manner. "I like you. I have a crush on you. I want to be your boyfriend. I-"

"Ok, ok!" you cut him off with a laugh, "I do."

"You like me back?"

"Yea, yea I do."

His actions are quick as he drops to his knees on the floor in front of you. He rushes you, his body moving over yours. His hands grasp your wrists, pushing them above your head.

His legs rest on either side of your hips, pinning you down.

"Ok, let's try this again then."

You let yourself get lost in his eyes as he leans down towards you again.

When his face is close enough for his nose to rest against yours, he brings his lips to yours.

He pulls away when your both breathless, a look of mirth on his face.

"I've been wanting do that for so long."

[eggyrocks]

DRUNK WALK HOME

chapter two: outline

masterlist

"mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight?" -bag of bones by mitski

All it takes is one look at Akaashi for humiliation to burn in her throat. He doesn't look at up at her as she approaches the library table he's reserved for them. She takes a steadying breath as she slides into the seat across from him, dropping her bag by her feet and crossing her arms over her chest. "Let's get this over with."

Akaashi looks up from his own spread of notes and an opened textbook, mouth in a thin line and eyes disengaged and disinterested. She tries not to flinch under them. Akaashi always looks at her like that, like she's nothing. He has this real talent for making her feel so viscerally hated with just a subtle once-over.

Her head is banging, a likely combination of a hangover and dehydration from all the gut-wrenching, body-wrecking, sobbing she's been doing. There is still smudged black liner darkening her eyes and dried out foundation flaking on her skin. The library lights are bright and yellow, and sitting under them makes her feel vulnerable, exposed.

It's kinda the same way she always feels around Akaashi, for some reason.

He flicks closed the smooth, glossy pages of his textbook and pushes it to the side. "Let me see your essay."

"I don't have an essay," she retorts, mouth dry. Sure, she has essays due. She has assignments printed out and stapled together that are crumbled at the bottom of her bag. But the only thing she has to show for any of it is a mostly blank Word document with four words written out: I don't fucking know.

Akaashi offers no reaction to this. That's the scary thing about Akaashi, she's learned in all of her time being hated by him. He doesn't have to do much for you to feel the weight of his hatred. Akaashi doesn't groan or yell or cuss or roll his eyes or snap at her. He just reaches down into his bag, grabbing something as if she were not there, and she can feel it.

He pulls out a folder, black and plastic, as he says to her, "Don't bother coming to a session if you don't have anything prepared again."

She bites down on the inside of her cheek and feels something awful churn inside of her chest. "Well, you bitched about me not showing last time, so."

Akaashi pauses, and looks up at her, the only indicator of emotion being the slight narrowing of his eyes. "We're not here for my benefit. I'll pass if you show up or not."

She doesn't say anything to this, she just taps her fingers against the skin of her arm, and tries not to cry in front of him.

Akaashi pulls a sheet of paper out from his folder and slides it in her direction. One page, Times New Roman, font size eleven. "Here's a guide on how to write an outline for an essay. Make one for every essay you have due and bring them back next time. If you don't, I'm emailing your advisor and telling them you're not showing up to your sessions."

"Yeah, but I am showing up," she argues.

"If you're showing up with nothing to work on, then you might as well not show up at all," he reiterates, as if he's talking to a small child. He then makes a point of looking her in the eye when he says, “And for the record, you should talk to Bokuto. Stop punishing him for not wanting to date you. It's not like you can blame him."

And with that, Akaashi scoops up his remaining textbook and notes, and he leaves. She watches as he marches towards the front exit, and does not look back at her once.

extras!

tendou gets really into pasta dinner

yn is friends with like everyone. like almost every single person on campus has either met her, hung out with her, or has heard of her. she has a lot of friends and its rare for someone to not like her

which akaashi finds baffling

yukie and akaashi were closer in high school but pretty much stopped talking once it became clear to yukie how much akaashi does not like yn

she does not play abt yn she absolutely chose her side and will die there

same with kaori though she is a little less intense about it

taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @bedeater @deluluforcarlos55 @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @crownj1min @frvppe @mollyrolls @karasyuu @ciderscape @phoenix-eclipses @s1ckntw1st3d @cnnmairoll @soobin1437 @worldgyu @snail-squasher @dragonictears @ferntv @reignsaway @Lisoozi @staygoldsquatchling02 @gsyche @yuminako @spicana @hermaeusmorax @shoyostar @whorefornoodles @hqsimprevival2024 @atsumuenthusiast @lemonocityyy @itsdragonius @robinphobia @aboveasphodel @savemebrazilhinata @lllaw @dreamingofyeo @milesmoralesluvs @miliondollagirl @kitnootkat @soulfullystarry @bows4life

[g1rld1ary]

overheard that she was nineteen - james potter x reader

wc: 1058

cw: nothing, one swear, reader is sad on their birthday, implied fem!reader but i don't think any pronouns

chat how many aura points do i lose for crying in the literal first 20 minutes of my nineteenth birthday :/ don't think about this fic too hard or you'll see it's more of a diary entry than work of fiction oopsie :')

You weren't feeling very special. To be quite honest, your day had been totally shit. It was your birthday, your nineteenth birthday and everyone had forgotten. Well, that wasn't true exactly, but nobody cared. Your parents had barely said 'happy birthday' when you called them, and only one of your friends had texted you. A sweet message, but still kind of depressing.

You knew it shouldn't have been a big deal, no one cared about nineteen, right? Eighteen was the big birthday and you'd had a good enough day last year, so you weren't really sure why this year had brought you down so much.

Maybe it was just because your love of birthdays was never reciprocated. A person's birthday could be the most exciting day of the year, and you were of the opinion that it should be, if possible. You were the one who showed up with a hand-baked cake on your friend's doorstep, without fail. It was something you enjoyed doing undoubtedly, you spent ages picking out which colour the icing should be and what edible decorations should go on top.

On top of that, you considered your defining talent to be writing cards. It was something you took pride in, penning almost-essays that encapsulated the breadth and depth of your love for your nearest and dearest. Proclamations of never-ending adoration, gratitude for years of friendship, the insides of your heart and soul sitting amongst fresh ink and scribbled hearts. You signed your name with a heart and a flower every time. Plus, you made particular efforts to come up with a creative pun or doodle for the front, just to keep things interesting.

So birthdays were things you held in high regard, and having yours seemingly mean nothing to anyone else was a bit of a mood killer if you were being totally honest. Still, what could you do? You picked yourself up, ate an uninspiring breakfast and went to uni.

You felt more anonymous than usual in class. With the semester having started only a week prior, you were in a sea of new people, none of them having any way of knowing it was your birthday, and you weren't quite at the point where you were begging for well-wishes from people you didn't particularly care about. And so you took notes, put your hand up for the participation grade and dreamed of your own cake and candles.

By the end of the day you were exhausted. The classes were long anyway, but carrying around your own personal grey cloud was taking a toll on your body and mind. It was at the car park when your phone dinged; James.

are you coming over tonight?

please

You smiled a little despite your sour mood. Even if James didn't seem like he was fully aware of your outlook on birthdays, being with him always made you feel better.

It'd already been dark for an hour or so by the time you reached the flat he shared with the boys, the winter weather making the sun disappear at four o'clock. You knocked on his door softly, unable to pluck up the strength to even make your presence easily known. James must've been waiting for you though, since you heard the heavy pad of his feet almost instantaneously.

The sight of him nearly took your breath away, though nothing was out of the ordinary. He was still the same old James, his glasses slightly askew on his nose, but he was looking at you with such softness that you felt the tears spike behind your eyes. You tried to push them down.

"I thought we'd have a bit of an early dinner. I know you won't have eaten at uni." He took your bag, setting it by the entry table softly. You managed to nod, hopefully not giving away all your awful feelings. You tried not to be cut up that he hadn't wished you a happy birthday yet.

All of your melancholy had been for nothing, you realised, when James led you to the dining table. He'd gone the full mile, with a cheesy red tablecloth and single candle as the centrepiece.

"Happy birthday, my love," He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. You couldn't help it, the tears rolling down your cheeks before you even realised. Once they started you had no chance, sobs wracking through your body as James stood beside you, bewildered.

"Is this not okay? Do you not like it?" He fretted as you cried, and you rushed to reassure him.

"I love it, Jamie, promise. It's just," You managed a half laugh through your bout of tears, "I thought no one cared. I can't believe you've done this for me." James' brow furrowed deeper than you'd ever seen it before as he pulled you into a tight hug.

"I would do anything for you, love. I mean it."

Once your tears had subsided you had a lovely dinner, James making you double over with laughter as all thoughts of your previous shit day dissolved under the weight of the homemade pasta sitting in your stomach.

Just before the night died down, James presented you with a small box, wrapped in the most beautiful silky ribbon. You glanced up at him curiously, untying it slowly. Inside was the most beautiful bracelet you'd ever seen. Connected with a heart-shaped clasp and decorated with a single charm, a love letter. You were embarrassed by the tears working their way back up to your lash line, but James looked delighted by the reaction, he lived to make you happy.

"Thank you," You whispered, "I love you."

James didn't have to say it back for you to know, but he did anyway because it made him happy.

Maybe your birthday wasn't the flashy event you might've wanted, however deep down, but you were strangely okay with it. Despite the fact that no one showed up to your door with a hand-baked cake or essay-length card, you had James, and James would've pulled the stars down from the sky if he thought it would boost your mood. That was enough.

[httpisaoki]

gf! karina x workaholic! reader

-> drabble pt. 2 because miss ko na sya (gf! jimin ackk), not proofread!!

wc is 834 words

kinda inspired by die for you bcs i was listening to it while writing this !!

fluff fluff (a bit of crying) fluff (took a break from all the angst hshdufjh)

in all of your years together, jimin never failed to show her how much she cared for you. jimin would be the best gf ever !! and once she realizes how much of an overachiever you are, she makes it her mission to take care of you !!

under all the stress, your emotions often made you overthink, there were times where you needed her reassurance, her words to assure you that she loved you, even her acts made you wonder. but of course, karina being the loving girlfriend she is, never hesitates in showing her love for you.

and when she got a text from you to come over, she dropped everything to just see you (literally). she was too worried for you to care about the questions of her co-workers.

her nerves were wrecking on the way, and once she reached your shared apartment, she ran as fast as she could.

she opened the door to your apartment, seeing you covered up tightly with a blanket on the couch.

as jimin looked at you, she couldn't help but to grin as she made her way over to you. she sighed softly, "I should have told you to get more sleep." a smile making it's face onto her face as she looks at your stirring figure.

"I should have been with you." jimin mumbled, her grip on you tightening as she buried her face onto your chest.

"How long did you study?" she whispered. Her brows furrowed in worry as she looked at the desk where the books where scattered along with the unfinished essay.

"after my shift at the book store." you sleepily answered, trying to fight the sleepiness.

"You've been overworking yourself again." she pouted. "Did you eat dinner?" she asked, trying to shift the focus onto another topic but you could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

you shook your head, "I fell asleep a few minutes after I texted."

jimin let out a soft, frustrated sound. "Why do you have to push yourself so hard?" she murmured, her tone softening into one of concern. "You could've asked me to come over after work, I would've happily cooked you dinner instead of coming over so late."

you sighed, "I knew you were busy in the afternoon, I didn't want to be a bother,"

"You'll never be a bother to me." jimin murmured, her grip tightening as she pressed her face onto you again. "and I missed you." she pouted once more. "I don't care what I need to put on hold to be with you, you're my priority."

"I want to make you meals." jimin whispered, her thumb tracing the curve of your jaw. "I want to hold you when you feel like you're about to break." she leaned closer to you, her breath warm against your neck.

"I want to love you. I want to love you through every happy or hard moment you're experiencing." she breathed.

her hands stopped moving through your hair as her gaze fell with concern. "I can't stand to see you like this." her voice was soft, but you could hear the pain behind her words. "You are so hard on yourself, and it hurts me." she frowned, her eyes glistening as they welled up with tears.

"Please," she begged, her hand going to the back of your head and pressing it against her chest "Let me take your worries away."

jimin felt your head press against her chest as she felt your warmth spread through her.

she let out a content breath as she pulled you closer to her, wanting nothing more than to hold you and to comfort you.

"I just want you to be okay…" her voice was shaky, as her eyes began to well up with tears.

"I don't know what I'll do if anything bad ever happened to you." she sniffled. "You're too precious to me…"

Jimin closed her eyes at the feeling of your head against her chest. She slowly breathed in your scent, taking in the scent of everything that made you, you.

she held you close to her. She didn't like seeing you like this, she didn't like you overworking yourself to the point where you look more lifeless than a walking corpse.

"Let me love you." she whispered, her voice breaking as a tear trickled down her cheeks. "Let me love you… let me take away all the stress."

jimin felt you relax with every passing second, as she ran her hands through your hair. her body was pressed to yours as she felt your warmth and your breath against her body.

"Let me love you…" she murmured, as she leaned forward, her lips pressing against your forehead. Her breath was warm as she kissed your forehead, leaving a soft trail of kisses down to your jaw.

karina never failed to love you, to show how much you mean to her, how you were always her priority, how she would be willing to die for you.

[lifemod17]

thoughts on 'Unaired EP'

IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

below the cut in case you don't want spoilers <3

Nobody's Soldier

THE FUCKIN FALSETTO IS DRIVING ME INSANE ITS LIKE HE LACED THIS SONG WITH CRACK

"Benzos and gasoline" line is WILD (it is so hot for no reason wtf Andrew)

the little break that happens at 1:43 with. i don't even know what that is? like a sort of distorted / reverbed guitar bend / riff? either way, LOVE THAT.

also lets give it up one time for the organ, that is SO GNARLY, YOU CANNOT DENY IT!!!

hearing the live version vs. this recorded one is different, I literally went "OMFG WHAT IS THIS PART" starting at 2:53 when he gets all whisper-y WHY IS IT SO HOT

Listen man, I am a sucker for a good pause, and that pause after the bridge has me UNWELL.

SLOWING IT DOWN for the ending will never not be iconic. you don't see that happening a lot!

the intake of breath on the outro??!! tumblr user lifemod17 is NOT FARING WELL

July

so full of hope and promise and really just about having that thing or that someone to look forward to. The definition of "postpone that funeral"

THE SYNTHS??? FORGIVE HIM FATHER FOR HE HAS SYNTH!!!

"JUST KNOWING THAT'S GETTING ME THROUGH"?!?!?!? I wanna throw up. that is a Tonee-ass line. yeah 'July' is DEFINITELY taking the crown. This is my favorite from the EP.

i WAS right! he says 'prada' because it just made so much sense with the 'wore me out' line.

the whole second half had me in SHAMBLES. the lyrics were already insane but also throw in his soft voice mixed with the FUNKY & GROOVY beat?? I fear it is so over for me (I was genuinely screaming into a pillow and needed to sit down even though I was already sat and also I didn't know what to do with my person so I was just laying there and looking up at the ceiling while fighting off tears. I was SHOOK.)

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and makes me want to roll downhill a field and pick flowers to give to strangers

Have I mentioned the pen game? Because it is on level 9000. His pen was on fire when he has writing this

B A S S O U T R O GOT ME ACTING TF UP

That You Are

I was not expecting the lyrics to be "that I'd be anywhere that you are". im sorry but that is devastatingly beautiful and rips my heart out brb sobbing

my wig quietly and peacefully ascended from my head.

it's a lot more raw, production wise. the vocals aren't super clean, but I actually really like it this way!!! it makes the song that much more precious, gentle, intimate

Bedouine's vocals NEVER DISAPPOINTS!! She always has a way of transporting you with her music- makes you feel like you're floating above water

I needed to sautee the yearning for this one, its so pretty but hits you right in the feels

The fact that this is speculated to be the contender for the spot of 'I, Carrion (Icarian)' I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN Andrew please do an EP breakdown cuz I need to know!

that little instrumental interlude towards the bridge is so lovely and the entire song really! I think they did a good job of splitting the vibe 50/50 <- I say this because I listen to Bedouine a lot and the vibe of her songs is definitely here. it just really shows that they both wrote this together. its not a feature, its a collab

We're all gonna cry and then afterwards we're all gonna hug cuz this song just inflicted so much emotional damage upon all of us

[bluebugjay]

I could write essays on Charles' character. He's so tragic. That trope of 'you've become the very thing you wish to destroy' isn't in act here but it is his exact fear. He was brutally murdered by his friends, friends who we are shown beating up another kid as well, so assumably this isn't a rare thing for them, plus his abusive father. In life he was surrounded by violence.

And now in death he chooses to label himself 'the brawn' , Edwin relys on him to be the fighter as he can't even throw a punch, he's the only one of the main characters who has a signature weapon (his cricket bat) , when he gets angry or defensive or scared he gets violent. Because of course he does, look at his life.

He gets so scared of being like his father or even his literal killers that he puts on a positive mask all of the time (30+ years) to hide the anger and the sadness because he's a 'good guy' and he's only seen bad guys handle their emotions the way he does. He gets defensive over Brad and Hunter to the point of fault because he's desperately grasping for a man who isn't the worst. He's looking for hope that he isn't just like the others. He says "We've tried it your way, and it did nothing. Let's try mine." referring to his 'way' as fighting, which immediately seems weird considering Edwin and Crystal argue more than any other characters in the show but that's just the thing, they argue. They're quick with their words and sharp and harsh with them but they don't get aggressive and that's what Charles picks up on. Their anger doesn't become aggression but his does and he villainises himself for that.

Truth is, he could never be like his father or his friends turned bullies because he's their victim and he died their victim, (Night nurse: You never made it better and then you died) His aggression only occurs in defense of others, in the Devlin House he swings at the Dad whilst saying "Think you're big and tough with that axe? Big guy, killing a bunch of women?" he fights in defence of them. Then when he attacks the Night Nurse its in defence of Edwin being sent to hell, them being split up and also probably for how she tricked Crystal into having hope she'd found her family. (though spurred on by the Night Nurse forcing him to relive his traumatic memories too) It's always in defence of someone, to protect them. Which is the exact opposite of why his father and bullies were violent.

This is what's so good about dbda because obviously aggression is a flaw even with the best morals backing it up. Crystal calls him out on his anger issues, saying her and Edwin are on eggshells around him and later on Charles breaks down crying to Edwin who insists he is a good person because he cares about being one. Charles is allowed to have this journey that is most likely still ongoing, dealing with anger and grief and fear and masculinity and violence. We never doubt he's a good guy despite his flaws because he simply is, and all of the other characters know that as well.

[mysicklove]

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐄!

Pairing: Sub! Bottom! Bachira x Dom! Gn! Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: Anal play, dildos, slight manipulation, reader is Gn but is implied to not have a penis, pet play, master/kitty kink, crying/begging

A/N: THIS IS A REPOST. my other got flagged super early on so I'm just testing to see if it will again. andddd dont be like Y/N kids, sex can come later, stay in school!!! focus on your studies!!!

Bachira has you wrapped around his pretty finger. 

The both of you know it, and he seems to love how easily he gets what he wants. He knew exactly how you reacted to a smile, or how you would coddle him when tears flooded his eyes.

You didn't mind listening to him, he was adorable and always so sweet to you. But he is so incredibly needy. Its like he wants your attention to be on him 24/7. Its cute having him cling to you when you have free time, but when you are busy it gets rough.

It's not like he is a brat. He listens well, and would never dare to talk back to you. He just seems to have too much love to give. Wants more and more, and its always so hard to decline when he looks so adorable.

But tonight, you needed to work on your essay. It was due at 11:59, and you've barely touched it. You needed just a couple more hours, and then you should be good for the night. Then, you are free for the rest of week to relax. 

“Meow…” A familiar high pitched voice chirps from behind you. He runs his hands down your chest, and places his head on your shoulder. He's wearing black fingless gloves with pink pawprints on them.

You know what he wants, from the way he drags his fingers along your body, to the way his voice seems to hold a slight purr. “Not now, Meguru. Can you wait till tomorrow?” You respond, eyes not leaving the screen, even if his hands get dangerously close to your crotch. 

If you show that you are affected by him, you are done for. Somehow one way or another he will be getting fucked tonight.

You don't have time today. The two of you had sex the last three days, and you know he isnt pent up. He just always seems to crave more. He was a spoiled thing. 

“Want you to fuck me,” he purrs into your ear, giggling lightly into your neck as if he was bashful about the lewd statement. As if he hasn't said way more dirty things the last couple of nights. He always was a talker. 

“I know, I know. I gotta finish this, love. Maybe later if i'm not too tired.” You reach up and rub the back of his hair, sighing when you feel the kitten eared headband. You had to restrain yourself from checking if he was wearing lingerie too. 

He must have knew you were busy, if he brought out the outfit. Probably thinking to himself, something along the lines of, desperate times calls for desperate measures.

He whines, high pitched and needy. “Pretty please? We can go quickly! Promise!”

You sigh when you feel him pawing at the buttons of your pants. You grab his wrists, before he can manage to undo them, which causes another whine to tear through his lips. “It's never quick with you,” You remind, and he grins. He would go the entire night if you allowed him too.

He laughs before placing a kiss to your neck. Two now, and he's suckling, most likely trying to leave a hickey. You grip his hair and pull him away. You didn't need to go in public with one on your neck. “Cause you're so good at it. Make me feel so good, I don't want to ever stop. Cmon, lets do it….I can give you head if you want!”

You roll your eyes with a grin. “How tempting...”

His hands try to escape your grasp, eyes already widen at the idea. “Mhmm! Let you ride my f–”

You don't let them free, pinning them to your stomach. “If I didn't have to finish this.”

His head collapses on your shoulder and he lets out another dramatic whine. Then, he menevours himself from behind you, to on your lap. You raise your eyebrows at his attire. You were right, black lacey lingerie with hints of light pink. He is even wearing a black leather collar a pink ribbon on the front.

He grins at you when you take in his appearance and successfully tears his hands away from you. He grabs your wrist, and gently lays your hand on his clothed cock. You have to force yourself to look away at the lewd sight, you are trying your hardest to not fuck him tonight.. 

“Look! Cmon please look,” He begs, and you have to take a glance. Just a peak, for your sanity. 

Resting in the black panties was his hard on, seeming to be leaking through the cloth. He kisses your neck again. “For you. All dressed up for you too. Do you want me to meow for you?”

The idea seems to make your head spin. Imaging on all fours while you pound into him. Would he moan, or would he really meow? 

Then he grabs your other hand and places it on his hole, now plugged with a cat tail. His eyes bore into yours, and he's grinning, cheeks flushed. “Prepped too. You don't gotta worry bout it. I'm all ready for you. Please Master?” 

You gulp when he begins to rock his hips into your hand. It sounds so appeasing to you. Maybe the two of you could get a round in…See his eyes roll back, and his mouth hang open. He always did have the prettiest face when he was lost in pleasure.

The computer screen darkens from the lack of use and your eyes flicker to it. Your assignment was more important. You could fuck all the time after you completed it. “Meguru,” You sigh, using your free hand to move the mouse so the computer does not fall asleep.

He continues to grind his clothed cock into your hand, letting out small whimpers. “Kitty~” He corrects, a small smile on his now pink face.

An idea pops into your head and you grin, maybe a bit maliciously. His eyes lighten up in return when he thinks you have agreed, and immediately presses his lips to yours. You let him for awhile, even going as far to help him grind on your hand.

When you pull away, his eyes are already half-lidded, and he seems to be almost buzzing in excitement. It almost makes you feel bad, but alas, this was important.. “’’m gonna grab the strap,” he murmurs, and quickly jumps off your lap. You watch the black tail swish at the movement.

But before he leaves you grab his wrist, and he turns to you, confused. “I'm going to pick what you will use,” You say smoothly, standing up from the chair and heading toward the bedroom. 

His eyes lighten at this, shivering in excitement at the prospect of you choosing the largest one. Though, the idea of him not playing soccer tomorrow because of him being sore does not sound to appealing. But alas, he follows along with a hop in a step.“Of course, Master!”

You take a deep breathe when you hear him continue the title, but you try to ignore the words. You grab the toybox, and Bachira is clinging to you, looking over your shoulder in excitement. “The big red one! No wait, what about the vibrating one? You know how it leaves my legs shaking. Oh choose, please choose one!”

You ignore the rambling in your ear and continue your searching. When you finally grab it, Bachira hums in question, “The suction one? Where will we do it then? Oh don't tell me you want me to ride it on your desk, you pervert Master!” He says, lightly hitting your shoulder, but almost drooling at the idea.

You ignore him again, and shut the box. He is gripping onto your arm, rubbing his cheek on your body from excitement.

When you walk out to the office he runs over to desk and bends over, his tail on display. “Take it out,” He purrs, shaking his ass in front of you, causing you to raise you eyebrows. “Want your cock now, please?” 

You sigh and walk over to him. He presses his hips into your crotch and by now, you're not even suprised by the display. He always was like this, gave no shame on what we wanted. 

You grab at his waist, and gently run your fingers over the flesh. He hums, and continues to press back into you. You reach down and slowly pull out the plug, and he keens. His cheek is pressed up to the desk and he is groaning into wood at the stretch.

“There is goes. Good job,” You praise, not being able to help yourself. The plug was larger than expected, and it made it much harder for you to really focus on your work. He seems to feel the strain too, his hands gripping onto the mouse with a small whimper when the thickest part meets his ring.

When it finally is out, he sighs, “Where do ya want me?” before turning to you with a cat like grin. 

You trace his jaw, and he leans into the touch. “Stay there for a second,” You whisper, and gently use your fingers to turn his head away. He nods immediately and buries his face into his arms, excited for what you have planned for him.

You glance at him, nearly bouncing in excitement, and then your half finished essay. Then, you sigh, and grab the suction dildo, and stick it to the floor next to your chair. It was a couple feet away so he can have room. With this, he can have his fun, and you can finish your essay.

But of course you should have known it wouldn't have worked. He craved attention and you were way too easily convinced.

When he turns around his smile falls immediately. “What's that?” He says, pointing to the dildo on the floor. He reaches for your hand for comfort, but you've already turned away.

You sit back on you chair, and turn your computer back on. “Knock yourself out. I need to finish this, but don't want you to get frustrated.”

He shakes his head at first, eyes switching back and forth from you and the floor. The two black knee pads placed next to it, lets him know immediately what you have planned for him. Him and him alone.

In one last attempt, he drops to his knees in front of you, and you raise your eyebrows. He places himself in between your legs and rests his head on your inner thigh. Then, he grabs your hand and places it on his head, pleading for you to pet him. “Please don't be mean, Master! I dressed up for you. I-I wanna be your kitty.”

Your eyes barely flicker to him, and he rubs his face on your thigh to hopefully get more attention. He whines when you don't react, loud and dramatic. “Meguru, I love you, but I need to finish this. Your toy is right there.” Your voice is flat, and your hand doesn't move.

“B-But I–Please?”

You grip at his hair, sending his head backward with a wince. His neck is exposed to you, and he looks up at you with half closed eyes. “You will either fuck the toy or nothing at all.”

The two of you stare at one another for a long second, before he seems to cave in on himself from the harshness of the glare. “Okay…” He half whimpers, hoping to pull some guilt out of you. 

When you don't say anything in response, he pouts and crawls over toward the dildo. It was simple, black and not too big. But you werent the one fucking him, so it wouldnt feel as good. He puts on the kneepads so that they don't get bruised from the hardwood floor.

He glances back to you. “I'm going to fuck it now.”

“Mhm’kay”

He clentches his fists and glares at the back of your neck, but positions the silicon cock in between his legs. He looks at his paw print gloves and has to bite back another whine, thinking about how this should have gone.

But, he grabs the dildo, and positions it up to his hole, and slowly begins to sink down on it. A quivered breath escapes his lips, as he tries to grip at the ground in front of him to no avail. It was harder to do by himself, usually you have to guide him through it. 

“Help?” He pleads, loud and whiny.

You don't even look at him. “You've taken something bigger than that. You're being whiny Meguru.”

Kitty. He was supposed to be your pretty kitty for the night. How did he end up on the floor, fucking a toy with no help. And why are you being so mean?

He bottoms out after a couple more seconds, and he gasps, leaning forward to brace himself on his fore arms. He shivers, and he can't help the small smile pulls at his lips, while his eyes slightly roll back. “It's in.”

You can't help but wonder, his gasps behind you are intriguing you. He usually was collapsing on to you when you stretch him out, in all honesty him doing this by himself was impressive. “Whole thing?”

“Mhmm” He starts rolling his hips, his cock beginning to leak at the needed intrusion. The second be bottomed out, he felt like some sort of rational part of him was put to rest. Now, he can simply focus on losing himself on the toy. 

“Good job, kitty.” He preens at the praise, and he focuses his gaze on you, hoping you've turned around by now. His smile drops when he hears the clicking of the keyboard and the back of your head.

It was upsetting him, and he could feel the pain in the chest from the lack of your attention. He was doing this all for you, why can't you just look at him? He ignores the tears starting to form in frustration.

Instead, he moves his hips, slightly pushing himself upward and then back down. A soft moan escapes him and his cock twitches. 

This time, he uses the his knees to push himself to the tip of the toy, and uses his entire weight to sit back down completely on it. His fingers curl and his back arches, while his mouth seems to hang open at the force. 

You hear a loud slapping sound, followed by a high pitched moan, way louder than before.The finger on your mouse pauses at the sound, and when he recollects himself, his eyes seem to focus in on the singular finger.

 In an instant, he knows exactly on how to get your attention again.

He resettles himself on the floor, and changes position. He begins to pick up the pace, rolling his hips desperately, causing his dick to slap upon his stomach. “F-Fuck master!”

Your heart hammers in your chest and you try to keep your focus on the screen. You gulp when you hear the moans get higher in pitched, and try to ignore the slapping sound of skin on skin.

He goes back to bouncing on the silicon cock, and uses one hand to reach forward to stroke his cock. His face is already flushed from the movements, and his eyes are half lidded, but all he does is stare at the back of your neck. “My cock…Feels good!”

Your eyes snap to his in an instant, and he seems to light up at the new found attention. Unexpected, but not unwelcomed. “I didn't say you could touch yourself, Meguru.”

He laughs in between pants, slightly shivering under your gaze. “C-Can't help it. Need it. S’good.”  

Even at the warning, his hand doesnt seem to stop its motions, sliding up and down the shaft, while he continues to jump on the toy. Tears begin to brim at his eyes, and his mouth seems to hang open with time. The moans have grown less dramatized for attention, but still are loud as they usually are. He was truly losing himself on the toy.

You just sigh, and turn back around. You are given him what we wants by getting upset at him. And it may go by quicker if he touched himself, then you can focus with no interruptions.

When he sees you turn back around again, he tumbles forward toward you. Tears begin to fall down his cheek, and the dildo slips out from the movement. He was so close. You were so close to helping him. He needed your help.

He murmurs a whiny curse under his breathe, and turns back toward it. His brain is fuzzy, and the only thing he seems to want in this very moment was to cum, from you. 

He pouts, and whimpers, but he sits back on it, and his eyes roll back with a sigh. And just like before he begins grinding on the toy, but this time he isn't moaning, it's full on whines and whimpers. “Please. Please help. Im trying to be good. Please, I can't without you.”

He bites his lip so it doesnt tremble, and he watches the precum drip out of his cock and onto the floor. His dick looks so useless in this moment, it was almost humiliating. He wishes you were looking at him, to tease him for how leaky he was. To praise him for how good he was doing.

With every bounce he whimpers your name. 

“Meguru,” You sigh, “You're so needy.” 

He hears the chair squeak, and you stand up. Tears stream down his face, but he's smiling as you walk over to him. He slows his movements when you crouch down in front of him. The two of you are now on eye level and he stares at you with glazed eyes and shaky legs.

You run your fingers down his jaw, and to his lips, gently telling him to release the poor bitten pink flesh. “What am I going to do with you, kitty?”

He sobs at the condescending words and collapses into you, the toy still lodged between his legs. “Fuck me. Fuck me, please. Wanna–I want it!” He says, buring his flushed face into your neck.

You pull him back again by his hair, similar to earlier, and you swear you heard a moan. “No. You can cum from that. I know you can. I'll be here to watch.”

He frowns again, obviously not liking this answer, but too fucked out to really do anything. Besides, at this point he will take anything from you.

 So, he just grabs onto shoulders and uses them as leverage for his movements.

His mouth now hangs open, and he's staring at you the entire time, while you coo and run you fingers through his hair. “Look how cute you are. Such a pretty kitty.”

Those were the words he craved, needed. He nods helplessly and giggles breathlessly , trying to put on the role he planned on even with his fucked out brain. “M-Meow!”

You grin at the sound, kissing his neck as he keens at the feeling. His legs are shaking and with everybounce you can hear the lewd slapping noise of skin upon hardwood. He's drooling ever so slightly, and he staring at you with hearts in his eyes. 

His moans begin to get higher and pitch, and his hands seem to tighten on your shoulder. You know the signs by heart now, you've seen it so many times. “Need to cum?”

“Yes! Close! I’m–Can I please?” You glance at the cute puddle on pre beginning to form beneath him and kiss his cheek.

“Sure. You can cum,” You whisper into his ear, and pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms around the back of you neck for stability. With every breathe a high pitched moan is released, and sweet the sound turns you on immensely,

He nuzzles his tear-streaken face into your shoulder and mumbles, “For you,” on repeat and you smile in his hold. 

“Yeah kitty, cum for me.” 

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck, I cant–Im cumming!” He grips onto you tighter when he feels the wave crash over him. His whole body jerks, and he shuts his eyes adorably tight. You grin when you see his legs tremble and feet curl from under the pawprint socks. His fuming cock leaks out a coupious amount of liquid onto the floor, making the puddle even bigger now. 

He holds onto you, even after his orgasm tears through him, almost seeming to purr when you run your fingers through his hair. He nuzzles into your embrace, and slides himself off the toy. “Mhmmm. Felt good,” he mumbles into your neck.

“Good. Cmon, let's clean you up and run you a bath so that I can finish my essay.”

He begins to litter kisses up your neck, and you sigh, knowing something is about to come. “Actually I was thinking bout round two.”

You shake your head, and rub the bridge of you nose. “I've never met anyone as needy as you.”

He laughs, a little breathlessly and dazed from the after effects of the orgasm. “I'm glad. I can have you all to myself.” 

And even with his now trembling legs, he manages to pull the both of you up, and drag you toward the bedroom. He pushes you down on the bed and races toward the toy box before you could even protest.

When he comes back with the toy in his hands, he has a glint in his eyes. “I was thinking the vibrating one.”

You eye the now vibrating dildo, twice the size of the previous one. “You trying to not play soccer for a couple on days?”

He laughs, and dives onto the bed, already planning on what to say to keep you distracted from the essay.

In the end the assignment was turned in late, but you couldn't even be that mad, because your boyfriend is grinning lazily on the bed, hair messy, and legs shaking from the multiple rounds the two of you went at it.

He was such a pretty sight to behold.

[hughungrybear]

Lyrical essay in the On1y One series

The cicadas in that summer were more noisy than in any other year. The lush branches outside the classroom windows couldn't block the sunshine. The breeze blew through the treetops, and the sun shined brightly. They were so young.

from Episode 1: "He's NOT my brother"

He is like a tree, without happiness or sadness. A part of his body will be sleeping in the earth peacefully; a part will be dancing with the wind joyfully; a part will be providing green shade willingly; and a part will be bathing in the sunshine warmly. So quiet and so proud will he be that he won't have to depend on anyone, or search for anything. (Tian's note: Lyrical essays set the mood without being explicit, like placing an arm around his shoulder to subtly show I've already got him on my side.)

from Episode 2: "Getting close is just lips touching"

Deep into the night, all is silent. I don't know which cicada it is, but it suddenly lets out a long cry. Even though it's late summer, I feel a flutter like it's early spring.

from Episode 4: "The glamorous end of the century"

A young man's heart is unpredictable as June weather, heavy rain pouring and clouds overhead, feeling like it will never end. But when the rain stops, it's all bright again with the sun hanging up high.

From Episode 5: "Closed, as the wind rises..."

The gods take away people's fears. Young men's love is intense and passionate. At that moment, the sunset bathed the winding Tamsui River. Stained-glass windows were outlines in a golden hue, and the feather on the clasp had a glowing edge. Time, like this blessing, feels gentle and everlasting.

From Episode 7: "Belonging. Let's live in the dorm together"

A young man's heartbeat is a midsummer wasteland. It's endless and untamed. When the wind blows, the wild grass stretches out to the horizon.

From Episode 11: "Kissing is just two lips touching?"

Grief is boundless as the setting sun. Eastward I go, where wild winds run. Fallen blossoms turn to mud, nurturing spring's new buds.

From Episode 12: "Sprout. The growing pains of starting over"

Bonus not part of the lyrical writing (usually quoted from Wang, either at the beginning or end of the ep):

There are about seven billion people on Earth, if each person's average lifespan is 80 years, you may encounter 1,000 people per day, and you will meet about 292 million people all your life. The probability of two people meeting is 0.00417. If you like him, and he also likes you, you're the only one for each other. That probability is only 0.0000173...

(Tian on the mathematics of finding The On1y One)

In everyone's life, there will be the very moment, a special one on which your mind lingers. That's the most important memory in your life. Every time you think of it, you will have a special feeling in your heart.

(Wang on memories and special moments)

from Episode 1: "He's NOT my brother"

At that moment, I completely forgot what the English teacher had said about the difference between "up to you" and "down to you". It wasn't until later that I realised when Jiang Tian said those words, my world was already upside down. My world was turned upside down.

from Episode 3: "Actually, we can give it a try"

Venus and Mars are in a 180-degree opposition, creating a powerful and intense attraction. The impossible can be possible. A twist, and it's the glamorous end of the century.

from Episode 4: "The glamorous end of the century"

If there's only one person in the world who can understand you, he is the most important. I just know there's a time for everything. I should go a little wild while I'm young. After all, I'll have decades ahead to play it safe. What's the rush?

From Episode 6: "When will the schedule start?"

Isn't there a saying that when you can drop the pretense and comfortably share both troubles and joys, you'll become friends?

(Tian's thought while looking at Wang)

When I feel abandoned by the world and think nothing I do will make a difference, I forget that someone with no place to call home is still trying so hard for me and giving his all to protect me.

(Wang's thought on Tian while the latter is frantically looking for him)

From Episode 7: "Belonging. Let's live in the dorm together"

A girl's shyness is like a tender cherry under the sunlight...16- and 17-year-olds are like fruits in the morning sun, sparkling.

(Passages read by Wang from the Guide to Lyrical Writing)

It's like something straight out of the Guide to Lyrical Writing. All 16- and 17-year-olds are shining.

(Tian reminiscing as he finally empties his suitcase)

From Episode 8: "16- and 17-year-olds are shining"

The book says that 16- and 17-year-olds are shining. As summer wanes, some cicadas never escape the earth, trapped the whole season. Meanwhile, someone is stuck at midsummer's end, waiting for his one and only.

From Episode 9: "Exposing youth fearlessly"

It's precisely these movements and advancements that broke down walls. And because of these so-called boundaries, we get the chance to enter each other's worlds and understand one another. So, do you think I'm invading your world now, or are you invading mine?

From Episode 10: "Thief. Who is about to cross the line?"

[sunshinemoonrx]

top 5 toku yuri?

I had to search my soul for this one I hope you know. You can tell my 80s sci-fi bias because Luka/Ahim didn't even make it and they're cutest married forever. Answers under the cut!

5. Annie/High Priestess Poe [/the Gals]

Okay I'm aware Annie and Poe's thing kind of only exists for one episode but it drives me CRAZYYYYY thinking about it. Not only is there a transgender sorceress but she's got a yuri moment with the heroine AND the show implicitly clarified this isn't just because she's "actually a man" (a stance this 40 year old show shockingly never takes!) by also having one of the other lady villains form her own fixation on her later and invite her to a murder-date...all these hot dangerous women obsessed with her...passing her around[delusional

Idk there's just something about Annie. She's the perfect adventurous potential damsel in distress (sapphic). Every time the Gals all grab her at once my brain lights the fuck up. Sorry girl my problematic trait is I'm rooting for you to get captured every episode.

4. Rei (DynaPink)/Princess Chimera

What if we were GIRLS and we were RIVALS and we were obsessed with tracking each other down for various kinds of 1 on 1 duel and wearing each others' clothes and stripping each other and

3. Ruriko/Hiromi (Hachi-Aug)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIygHhMJaXo

I've rambled about how UNBELIEVABLY hot Shin!Ruriko is to me (demanding cold-affect cyborg in shiny leather? For me?) but she also has a samurai dominatrix evil ex-girlfriend who's got a light-up multilayered monster suit and an obsession with breaking her down to make her cry? For MEEEEEE???

2. Bioman (collectively)

I'm back in my delusion mode but this is the most wlw sentai, to me. Jun is girlfriends with Hikaru who was girlfriends with Mika (I have a whole essay on the contrast between these two relationships!) who was Rivals with Farah Cat who is Farah's S&M pet and- (I'm right is the thing) Somersaults are an expression of love. To me

1. Helen/Diana

GREATEST OF ALL TIME!!! Star-crossed lovers ... Diana's growing obsession as she gradually shifts from "I have to help my bestie reunite with his sister" to "wait his sister is kinda hot" to "IF I DON'T GET TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HELEN I AM GOING TO EXPLODE". (when she's not getting distracted by other ladies my best girl is just chaotic OK) Fleeting meetings. Unwilling fights. Huge emotionally explosive reunion. Then they're bike sharing and clinging to each other and fighting for their future together and--so this might be my favourite TV show in the world.

Gifset I made:

https://www.tumblr.com/sunshinemoonrx/752735343442378752/toku-pride-month-challenge-helendiana

Anyway honourable mention to the time in the Ex-Aid movies when a hot lady doctor put a collar on Poppy and made her be her maid and her imaginary bride and tied her to a chair and force-fed her cherries because I am ALWAYS thinking about it

...okay so it turns out what I focus on is half the time weird possessive power play over heartwarming love stories. Tee hee!

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip

[kidspawn]

And Now, A Comprehensive Essay I Never Thought I'd Write:

I've seen people upset with Gabe's character in the show thus far. Saying he's too toned down, too "pathetic white trash" as opposed to abusive jerkass. I do understand why people are mad, but a few words in defense of this portrayal - and why it still works.

One: "He's too nice/soft/passive"

Um... absolutely not? This dude had me cringing and tensing up as soon as we meet him. Percy tenses and goes on the defensive, starts shooting comebacks. Gabe, seeing a tense and emotionally drained child, immediately comes at him, berating him for misbehaving.

He snaps at Sally, basically loses his shit at the idea of her leaving the apartment. She has to negotiate with him to leave her own apartment? To use the car? I don't care if she's "standing her ground" more. (Which, she isn't, but that's a whole other topic.) He's still being a douche.

There are aspects of Gabe's book characterization that are lost in media translation. For instance, Percy giving him money. "Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our 'guy secret.' Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out" (The Lightning Thief, pg. 31) This is Percy's internal monologue. When Percy enters their apartment in the book, Gabe is just a dick. Yes, he's not pestering Percy for money but he's doing everything else. I wouldn't be surprised if this information about Gabe comes to light the further into the story we go. Rick Riordan isn't trying to erase the abuse, but drawing attention to the intricacies and subtleties of abuse.

Two: "Sally is too assertive/fights back/etc"

Please, kindly, screw off with that "perfect victim" line of thinking. Just because Percy and Sally aren't crying, sobbing, etc, doesn't mean they're not being abused? First of all, that would be out of character. No doubt about that.

The only thing different between the scene in the book versus the show is how Sally manipulates/negotiates with Gabe. She has a different tone here, sure, but let's face it - Sally doesn't particularly like Gabe. He is a means to an end. She doesn't care too much about hurting his feelings here. She's placating. She's leveraging what little she has to get something from him. In the books, it was bean dip. In the show, its sandwiches and watching a game together. Sally doesn't care for Gabe, but Gabe obviously has interest in Sally, or spending time with her. She's leveraging her time and her resources to get her kid to Camp Half-Blood. She knows what's going to work because she's been dealing with this for so long.

And don't pretend like Gabe using the word "please" is changing the horrid tone he uses with Sally. Neither Percy or Sally flinch when he yells. This isn't a rare occurrence. Gabe probably yells all the time. But it's been happening long enough they're both desensitized to it.

These aspects aren't that different from the book.

Yes, the abuse is subtle, a few tweaks to appease an admittedly young target audience. But it is there. It's solely disappointing to me that subtext has seemingly been lost.

Three: "He's just average white trash."

Is that not... the point? He's... just a basic mortal? He's so abysmally human, so utterly mundane that he masks Percy's smell. He's crummy, and slimy, and awful. He doesn't strive for more, he doesn't aspire for more. He's a bully. He's awful to Percy, he yells at Sally. The only thing different about him in the show so far is he hasn't hit Sally yet.

(Yet. By the way. There's only two episodes out. We find out he's hitting Sally at the end of the source material. He never hits Percy onscreen, it's stated in internal monologue.)

Details will be lost in translation, of course, but please I cannot stress enough how little of the show we've seen. We don't know how they're going to explore Percy's characterization and reaction to abuse. There will be flashbacks, opportunities to flesh out the relationships and characters. Just because Rick changed aspects to keep people from being triggered doesn't mean he's going to let audiences go on believing this kind of behavior is ok. (At least, I hope he doesn't.)

Gabe Ugliano is still a piece of garbage. He is a horrendous human being. It's baffling to me that no one's believing that based on what we've seen of him. Not once did I think he was "toned down." I had a hard time rewatching that scene. The verbal belittlement, the subtle manipulation and control he's asserting into their lives. He's awful to Percy, he's awful to Sally.

Also, I reiterate: there are only two episodes out. Give the story time to breathe. Give the team time to deal with this storyline and flesh out this aspect of Sally and Percy's relationship.

[0oolookitsme]

It's Buzzcut Season, Anyways!

Eeeeekk!!!! Hi Hi everyone!! I hope you are all doing well, here comes the first post of the year! <3

So.. It is my birthday today, and I'm very excited to tell you that I'm introducing to you, another one of my pairings! This a little excerpt from the fic (wip) I'm writing about this chaotic pairing, and I really do hope this gets you as excited about their story, as I am! This was supposed to be up in December but for some reason, I didn't post it?? Anyways, other than that, you shall see more, further on in 2024 :)

Also, shoutout to @cupid-styles and @elioslover for picking my ice hockey!Harry to be the one to get a buzzcut, hahah! My indecisive self (who lowkey wanted you guys to pick him), could've never 💗

All the love always, A.

Verse - NHL Player!Harry x Figure Skater!Y/n (uni era)

Word Count - It's just an excerpt so it's short!

Warnings - None that I can find but if there are any, do tell me and I'll edit them into this!

Y/n is reluctantly trimming Harry's hair when her nose feels funny, and she sneezes. Its good though, that Harry asks for her opinion regarding a change that he would rather appreciate.

Please rb to share! | Masterlist

Y/n sat on her unmade bed, hair unbrushed and messy since she woke up from a 3-hour nap. Her fingers typed away on her laptop, her face showing zero signs of any stress regarding the assignment she's going to have to turn in un-edited.

Probably because of the breakdown she'd had before taking nap. She'd been so stressed that she had drawn blood from her lips and broken two of her nails -- which was rather disappointing to her considering she'd got them done not so long ago in the honour of the upcoming season of winter.

The temperature was still as hot as summer, but half of the world was snowed in, and she wanted the peace of mind that winter brought her; so, she deluded herself into thinking that it was indeed her favourite time of the year.

A silent burp made its way up her throat, as she drank the day-old diet coke she'd been drinking before her meltdown-that-leads-to-an-amazing-nap.

Just as she slurped on the last sip that wasn't anything but melted ice, she heard the door to the flat open and her eyes rose up just in time to catch the sight of a sweaty and out of breath Harry, through the open door of her room.

"Y/n?" He called for her, walking towards her room when she only hummed in response. He passed her an apologetic smile on reaching her doorframe, and she knew he was going to ask something of her that the both of them know she wouldn't be willing to do quite easily.

"I need your help," he grinned at her. "...And Immediately."

She looked at him suspiciously, before deciding to shift her focus back on her assignment, knowing that he would lure her in if she were to continue looking at him.

But Harry was at once kneeling beside the side of bed she was sitting on. With his hands joined, he contorted his face in a way that looked like he was about to cry. "I beg of you, please! If you don't help me right now, my life will be ruined forever!"

Y/n's eyes had fallen into untrusting slits by now as she minimized the document that she had been writing in. "What is it, Harry?" She asked him in a monotonous tone, shutting her laptop as if procrastinating the essay any longer would be a great help.

"Cut my hair."

Instantly her jaw dropped open. Shaking her head, she began reopening her laptop and Harry took a hold of her wrists. "Harry, there's no way!" She yelped as he began making her get off the bed.

"I'm not asking you to give me haircut like Zayn!" He exclaimed, as if that'd ease her. "Just trim it a bit," he shrugged, walking out into the small living-room with Y/n thrashing behind him. She even threw a few hands at him, but he had a feeling that she wasn't as opposed by the idea as she was pretending to.

He pulled out a chair in front of the mirror that, though they had been living in this flat for nearly two months, had yet to be pinned to the wall. "C'mon, you work at a salon -- surely you know how to trim a guy's hair," he teased her, knowing that questioning her abilities would get to her and she'd cut his hair better than any hairdresser ever could.

Looking at her reflection glaring at him through the mirror, he winked at her before bending down to unzip his bag. He pulled out an electric trimmer from inside it and handed it to her, pulling the towel from the coffee table that he had left there earlier in the morning.

Once done draping it over his shoulders, he handed her the trimmer and added a touch of his puppy-dog eyes even though he knew they simply don't work on her.

"Okay. If you end up bald, don't complain then," she grumbled before running her hand through his hair. "Is this sweat or did you wash your hair after practice?" Her face was already contorted in disgust, like she knew he surely couldn't have done the latter.

"Don't you worry, I washed it after practice," he assured her, looking at her as if she should appreciate him.

She turned on the trimmer and held his hair in sections by one of her hands. "Why didn't you go to a salon?" She asked him, trimming the hair on his sides with her mouth parted.

Harry shrugged and immediately retorted when Y/n shrieked, mumbling an apology. "The salon's too far. I don't have the time to get there; got a handful of assignments to turn in before midnight." He told her. "And I mean, saving some money never hurt anyone."

"You do realize that I've put doing my assignment on pause to do this silly shenanigan with you?" Her eyebrows rose up as she fired another question at him. She suppressed a smile when he passed a dimpled-lopsided grin to her. "God, I hate you," she said, and a smile slipped on her lips as she moved to the other side to trim the rest of his hair.

She had no reason to be doing a parttime job at a salon, it wasn't going to help her in the future in any way, but it did help her in the present with its money. The money she got by being apprenticed to a dance company went straight into the flat-bills and some other necessary purchases that she couldn't avoid.

But she wasn't complaining about it. Living among frat people was a nightmare for her. She did have fun with people but being a clean-freak and a morning person didn't match well with the frats. They did love her dearly, but when Harry came in asking if someone would be willing to be his flat mate, everyone had chanted for Y/n. And, when he asked Y/n at the rink, she had quite literally jumped at the opportunity and in the joy of the moment, hugged Harry with a tight grip that still had his heartbeat rise whenever he thought about it.

With her touching his hair, Harry's heart was beating so hard in his chest that he was afraid it was going to break a rib. His eyes never once left her reflection in the mirror, not with the way she was being so careful and serious. Her lips had parted without her knowing, and she wasn't even blinking often enough.

That was when Harry saw a hair-strand fall in her face, and her face scrunch up in a way it does when she's about to sneeze. He saw as she turned to sneeze in her elbow -- a habit that she still hadn't gotten rid of. He shifted his gaze down on his hands in his lap, to prevent her catching him staring at her.

When Y/n caught her breath after the sneeze, her eyes grew wide. Her hand began shaking as she brought the other hand to cover her mouth, looking at his head in horror. She wasn't sure if she should laugh or begin spewing apologies and decided on the latter one.

But as she opened her mouth, Harry looked at her. "Should I just buzz it off?" He questioned her and thought that she had paled at the thought of him going bald. "I mean, the match season is finally over. I don't have anything to do but study, do my parttime and of course practice hockey." He shrugged explaining his point of view, looking at her to help him decided.

"S-sure! I mean, you'd look good with any-any type of haircut." She was shaking and stuttering, but Harry was too lost in his train of thoughts to question her. "A-and its buzzcut season, anyways!"

That seemed to be helpful for Harry. He smiled at her, "Shave it off, then. I'm basically on vacation from tomorrow... and I guess I'd really appreciate a change like this!" He was back to grinning and Y/n's sweat was beginning to cool off.

She imagined sitting with Harry on a sofa on some ordinary-night with her feet in his lap like he were her closest friend and telling him about today -- a movie playing on the lowest volume possible in the background. She stopped herself before she could get lost thinking about his reaction and mess up even his buzzcut.

[toomuchracket]

my whole life, waiting for you: part 2 (ross x girlband gf!reader fluff)

you know where this is headed, you don't need me to explain!! if you do... read this first. enjoy <3

it's almost funny how calm the green room is. 

the atmosphere is a far cry from the manic, adrenaline and alcohol-fuelled hedonism that it was ten, fifteen years ago. adam is sat on the floor, facetiming his wife and son, chatting to the little boy about the murals the boys saw on their walk for coffee earlier. polly is beside him with her headphones on, watching something on her laptop, which rests on the coffee table. in the far corner, john, gabi, and jamie are battling it out on a mariokart race, and george - typical of him - is nowhere to be seen. he'd shouted to matty that he was just popping outside for something, but matty's curly head had been too engrossed in an essay collection to take in anything his friend had said.

ross is also reading, sat on the opposite end of the sofa from matty. well, he's trying to read, anyway - he can only focus on the words for a few seconds at a time, before they seem to start melting into illegibility on the page. it's not that it's a bad book, at all - in fact, he's actually really enjoying it - but it's making him think of you, and he's incapable of thinking about you without you completely taking over his mind. you recommended the novel, after all, and snuck your copy into ross's suitcase as a gift for tour with a "just so you don't forget to think of me".

as if he ever could.

the pages still smell like your perfume, a faint whisper of rose escaping into the air every time ross turns them. usually, he'd find it comforting, but today it's making the longing for you worse. he slams the book shut a bit harder than he means to, laying it down in favour of checking his texts from you - there's been nothing since your last message an hour ago, telling him you loved him and you'd speak to him soon.

matty looks up in mild concern as the book's covers meet. "shit story?"

"nah, just can't focus right now."

"fair enough," matty closes his own book and stretches, before curling up catlike with his head on the armrest of the couch. "how you feeling about tonight?"

crap. "alright," ross says, feeling anything but. "i'll feel better once we've soundchecked, i reckon. a bit more excited to go out there, y'know?"

"i'm the same," matty nods. "speaking of soundcheck, where the fuck is george?"

ross is about to shrug, when the man in question's famously impeccable timing kicks in; footsteps start to become audible through and towards the half-open door, george's unique laugh following it. following again is the smell of outside, freshly smoked cigarettes, and… your perfume? christ, ross really must be losing it.

and then you appear in the doorway.

your eyes dart round the room before locking onto ross's, and you beam at him. all the air leaves his lungs at once, and all thoughts except she's here leave his brain. in fact, all awareness of everything except your existence in the room totally abandons ross. he can't hear matty's cheerful cry of "HIYA!". he fails to register george and charli's presence in the doorway behind you. he doesn't even take notice of the sudden ground beneath his feet as he jumps up and runs to you. 

he's completely running on autopilot, which is why he automatically crashes his lips onto yours when he reaches you. no hesitation, no worrying about revealing your relationship to everyone else in the room… just the need to show you how much he loves you, misses you, needs you.

you kiss him back just as eagerly, wrapping your arms as far around his broad shoulders as you can. your level of awareness is marginally higher than your boyfriend's, and the gasps and shocked laughter and shouts of "WHAT THE FUCK" make you smile into the kiss. well, partially - just the mere fact you're actually kissing ross is enough to make you beam in itself.

ross breaks away first, reluctantly, just so he can breathe. but he keeps his forehead pressed to yours, big hands cupping your jaw as he smiles centimetres away from your mouth. there's silence - from the two of you, at least - for a second, save your deep breaths, you and him doing nothing but clutching each other and revelling in the closeness.

"hi, baby," you lean back to look at ross, and he actually thinks his heart might give out. the softness seems to sparkle in your eyes, your lips are slightly swollen from how hard he'd kissed you, and he thinks you've never looked more beautiful.

without warning or indication, ross lifts you into a hug, your legs wrapping around his waist out of habit as you shriek out a laugh. "hi, my love," he says into your neck, spinning you around excitedly and relishing in the way you giggle joyously. "missed you. so fucking much."

"so i've heard. s'why i'm here, angel."

"who?... ah," ross turns, so he can see george. "you?"

"me," george nods, then winces as charli elbows him indignantly. "well, us. we did this."

adam pipes up from his spot on the floor. "and what is this, exactly? i mean, i think i know, but the wife wants details," he waves his phone in the air, and from your vantage point of head-on-ross's-shoulder you catch a glimpse of carly on the screen (well, her hair).

"me and her both, hann," matty looks like he's going into shock, lying flat on the sofa with his hands latched on either side of his head - if either you or ross had been capable of noticing anything other than each other, you would have seen the way his jaw dropped when you kissed, and how he'd slid into his current position with a hushed chorus of repeated "what the actual fuck"s. he looks up at you, wide-eyed. "is this… a real thing?"

you nod as best you can without chinning ross. "the real deal. true love, i'd say," you tap your boyfriend's back, and he turns so you can both look at matty; you gently turn ross's head so he can look at you first, though. "that's a safe assessment to make, right, my love?"

"and an accurate one," ross kisses your nose, then turns to his best friend. "yeah, mate, she and i are pretty much settled now."

"the plan was to tell everyone after tour finished," you chime in. "because neither of us wanted the relationship to take the focus away from your music, or mine…"

"...but i got too emo last night and blabbed to george about how much i missed her," ross smiles, cheeks taking on the slightest hint of pink. "and here we are."

there's a vague chorus of awwws from around the room, and through adam's phone, but matty still seems to be processing. "what about your bandmates? do they know?"

thankfully, there's no hint of accusation in his tone, only curiosity. you exhale a breath you didn't realise you were holding. "they only found out this morning, when i told them i couldn't come to the studio today because of a boyfriend emergency. and don't worry, matty," you say, as you see your friend begin to open his mouth. "the album's done. completely. the label overestimated how long i'd need to make it perfect. we were just going in for free tea and biscuits today, to be honest."

ross chuckles, squeezing you even tighter to him, while the room erupts into laughter behind you. matty rolls his eyes, but smiles. "you're so chill it's unbelievable. christ, the two of you are perfect for each other. i can't believe i never realised that."

"matty, shouldn't they start an onlyfans?" charli shouts, around you. adam collapses into giggles, phone nearly falling from his hand - luckily, polly (also laughing) catches it before it hits the ground.

ross winces. "are you still going on about that?"

matty follows suit. "for fuck's sake, charli. no! christ," he shudders, while charli sighs in despair. "you do look hot together, though. really hot. any kids you have would be- oh my god, you need to have kids. please? just one? imagine how musical they'd be!"

charli cackles, grabbing your arm. "babe! didn't i say he'd say tha-"

"right, i think we should all shut up now, and get on with the day, yeah?" george says, deep voice taking on an authoritative tone that ross is secretly thankful for. "soundcheck, let's go."

your boyfriend pecks your lips and puts you back on the ground, as everyone begins to wrap up their activities and head to stage. before a mass exodus from the green room begins, matty puts a hand on your arm and speaks. "i've just got one more thing to say."

"did you just quote your own song?"

"shut up, i didn't mean it," he blushes, while ross snorts. "wanted to ask you something about the show tonight."

"right."

"would you come on and sing with us? you can say no, obvs, but you know how much i love your voice. i'd be really honoured if you agreed."

your friend's quiet earnestness is touching. although it's an unexpected request - you know the boys haven't been involving guests on this tour like they did previously - it's not an unwelcome one. and judging by the way ross hugs your waist tighter and smiles into your shoulder, you think he likes the sound of sharing a stage with you for the first time too. you grin at matty. "about you?"

matty nods. "polly's soloing jesus christ 2005 tonight anyway. prime opportunity for you to have a moment of your own."

"she's soloing- fuck, i'm going to cry," you bring a hand to your chest, and polly laughs and blows you a kiss. "alright. i'll do it."

the boys on either side of you hug you in excitement, and your heart glows. but you're not finished. "if…"

"yeah?"

you turn to your boyfriend. "if i can wear one of your scotland tops while i do."

matty laughs, while ross leans down to kiss you. "course you can, love," he murmurs against your lips. "i'd like that a lot, actually."

"so it's settled, then. i'll sing," you peck ross again, and drag him and matty towards the door. "let's go and practice now, so i don't show you all up."

***

as it turns out, if you angle yourself just so behind the house set onstage, you get a pretty good view of ross through the sheer curtain on the window. mic in hand and ready to go, you sway softly on your high heels as the outro to me begins, keeping to the side so you're not blocking matty's route down from the roof to the front door.

the song ends, and you tap your free hand on the opposite wrist in a sort-of clap as the audience applauds; you pair it with a smile towards your friend as he comes into view, and a laugh as he bows dramatically.

matty pulls you into a half-hug. "i'm excited. you feeling alright?"

"yeah, i'm good," you squeeze his (tiny, really tiny) waist. "actually, i meant to ask earlier… can we stand near ross for the outro?"

your friend smiles, the significance of the action not lost on him. "course we can," he looks up as the familiar music begins. "see you out there, bestie."

with a wink, he opens the door - leaving it ajar for you - and you're alone again. you do your usual pre-show routine, tugging at your skirt so it sits right and fixing your hair a final time, and just wait for the end of the first chorus. ducking under the window to keep your presence a surprise to the crowd as long as possible, you get into position, and step across the threshold onto the stage when matty and polly (doing the backing vocals at the start to throw everyone off the scent of your big reveal) sing the title of the song.

the roar from the crowd when you step out - and presumably, when your face and name appear on the screens - is so loud you can feel it through the stage, so loud that you can't help but grin at the sea of faces as you walk onstage. john playfully nudges you with his shoulder as you pass him, and you make a point of waving at the two g's on drums when you walk by, singing.

when you get to the internal door, though, you can't help but milk the moment a little; you take your time walking through, looking and smiling at the light in wonder, winking at jamie and polly giggling at you. matty's waiting to lead you down the stairs - not for the bit, but for practicality, given your heels - and you have a little group hug with him and adam when you reach the lower level. it's sweet. it's fun. it's comfortable, even though you're performing without your band for the first time in front of thousands of people, who may or may not like you, or even know who you are.

through it all, though, you can't stop yourself looking to stage left, to your smiling boyfriend, the love in his eyes evident even from where you're standing. during the second chorus, you walk to ross, tiptoeing to rest your head on his shoulder from behind him, exactly the same way you do while he makes dinner for the two of you in your flat. he seems to be thinking about that, too; almost on instinct, he turns to kiss your temple, a feather-light brush of lips and skin that nevertheless sends sparks shooting through your body. 

the crowd puts two (that kiss) and two (your - his - top) together, and goes insane. they have the good grace to lower the screaming somewhat during your solo, which you sing centre-stage, matty's arm around your shoulders and yours on his, and then they dial it back up to eleven when you both wander back over to your boyfriend. you know you're looking at ross lovingly, dreamily, adoringly, but you can't hide it.

you don't want to, anyway. he's yours, you're his, and you don't give a fuck who knows or doesn't.

clearly, ross feels the same. after matty urges you to take a bow during the outro (and urges the audience to "please give it up for my honorary little sister"), then hugs you with a "thank you, darling" before running off to make it to the b-stage, your boyfriend rests his head on top of yours as he finishes playing. it's such a tender action, and for a brief second you forget you're onstage, not sat in your living room writing new stuff together and larking about on your instruments. but then the crowd starts up the applause again, and you remember. as ross hands his bass to joel, you take another bow, waving at the excited faces before ross takes your hand and leads you offstage.

his arms are wrapped around you before you've even fully opened your mouth to talk; you close it, and your eyes, and just breathe in the moment (and the home-y scent of ross's aftershave). ross speaks first, anyway, hand on the back of your head stroking your hair. "i am so proud of you."

"oh, stop it, i do it all the time," you laugh. "but i'm proud of you, too. i love watching you play. it was lovely to get the chance to see it up close."

"i love you," ross leans back so he can look at you as he says it, punctuating the end of his sentence with a soft kiss. "thank you. for coming up here, and for doing that. it was a lot of fun - i know we all thought so."

"i love you, too. so much. and these muppets you call bandmates - they're a pretty good bunch."

"they're irritating me now, though."

"why, baby?"

ross smiles, a very honest lifting of cheeks and curling of lips. "just haven't gotten you all to myself today, s'all. they've always been around."

it's not necessarily a suggestive statement, but there's an underlying hint of something in ross's words; you try to respond with an equally ambiguous statement. "well," you begin, thumb stroking your boyfriend's cheek. "all you need to do is finish the show, and then we can hide out in your hotel room, completely uninterrupted, for like twelve hours. sound good?"

"sounds amazing, love," ross sighs, kissing you again. "i really have missed you. don't really want to let you go and go back onstage, to be honest."

"i'll be right here cheering you on the whole time. screaming your name and everything."

"oh, i like the sound of that."

"cheeky."

[bookshelfmonkey]

Thanks for the tag @storkmuffin :)

Are you named after anyone? Not my first name, which I just chose because I liked it, but one of my middle names is Bowie (as in David Bowie).

When was the last time you cried? A couple of weeks ago, when I was feeling completely overwhelmed by the state of trans rights globally and especially in the UK (where I live) and the ongoing tragedies happening as a result. (Sidenote: it's weird to me how little I've cried since starting T, I used to cry multiple times a week and now it's every few months)

Do you have kids? No.

What sports do you play/have you played? I swam for about 6-8 years as a kid but always kinda hated it, and eventually quit when the dysphoria became too much. I did football and badminton on and off too, but was never really good at anything (asthma & possible dyspraxia & hypermobility etc.). Now I'm trying to run and work out mostly just to stay healthy. I'd like to get back into swimming but can't really afford to go to a pool regularly and I'm scared to go by myself. I also go to a lgbtq+ football club weekly when I'm in my hometown (my friend started an under-18s one which I used to do too and it was pretty much my only positive experience of sports).

Do you use sarcasm? Rarely, and only with close friends where we mutually joke like that with each other.

What's the first thing you notice about people? I actually don't know. I think most of the time I'm too caught up in the anxiety of meeting someone new that I'm more focussed on myself.

What's your eye colour? Bluey grey.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I'll watch some scary movies but sometimes they just make me too anxious to enjoy them.

Any talents? I can read pretty quickly with good comprehension (I like to take my time when reading for fun, but as an english lit student who always has a fuck ton of essays and shit to read, it's handy), I can bake really good gingerbread, and I'm weirdly good at immitating people's walks (the same way some people can do voice impressions).

Where were you born? A small city in south west england (not saying more than that for safety/privacy).

What are your hobbies? I read (a lot); I write fiction, poetry, book reviews & TV show reviews (see pinned post on where to find some of these); I embroider and sew; I enjoy baking and cooking but don't do it much atm because I don't like my flatmates so I spend as little time as possible in our kitchen where I might see them; I like going for walks but it can be difficult to get out into nature without a car (ironically) and sometimes I just solve number puzzles/do maths for fun.

Do you have any pets? Yes, this idiot (affectionate). Technically she lives with my parents, but still. Her name's Pepper and she's a generic black cat (it's hard to work out breeds of cats and she's an adopted former stray so there's no breeding history or whatever).

How tall are you? 1.72m

Favourite subject in school? It alternated between english literature and maths.

Dream job? Author/forest wizard/please don't make me enter the workforce (I'm a uni student atm)/I don't know what I want to do with my life.

@yourlocalcorvidcryptid @autisticfordprefect @feral-enfield-with-wifi sorry if any of y'all have already done this and I missed it.