#...unless maybe she has adhd haha

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | oneshot smut [18+]

title. around the clock

Hooking up with your little brother’s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision.

ᰔ pairing. babysitter/boxing au - underground boxer & babysitter!gojo x college student!reader (f)

ᰔ summary. when underground boxer gojo satoru becomes a little strapped for cash, he gets a day job as a babysitter for a five-year-old kid named yuuji who most definitely has adhd (but that’s besides the point). the kid’s mom gave gojo two rules, and two rules only: don’t accidentally kill my son, and do not flirt with my daughter. he’s pretty sure he’s got a good hold on the former, but he’s got no self control over the latter.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, smut, casual sex, lil bit of fluff, lil bit of crack, slight age gap (reader’s 22 & gojo’s 27), cum play, creampie, unprotected sex, praise kink, slight degradation, gojo is a sleazebag that cares?, sort of porn-coded smut except there’s a lil bit of lore so it’s kinda porn w plot, uhh having sex with risk of getting caught, gojo beats people up at night & then plays father figure to a 5 y/o during the day, mentions of violence/alcohol/drugs/blood/cigarettes

ᰔ word count. 12.6k

a/n. hiiii friends jeez it feels like FOREVER since i've posted some good ol' smut (still has plot tho xd)...hopefully you enjoy n see ya at the bottom! lmk if i missed any warnings! if you asked to be tagged but didn’t get tagged it’s bc you have your tags off aaa :( even when some ppl tried to fix it i still couldn’t tag them i’m sorry!!

alsoooooo so very much love to @starmapz for beta reading this for me :”) really helped me w my posting nerves haha. she is also a wonderful jjk author pls go check out her works!! 💕 ART CREDITS: @/3-aem

➸ masterlist

2:34 pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): heyy um i’m sorry if this comes off kinda rude i just am kinda bad with this but i was wondering if you could text my mom for questions about yuuji’s care instead of me?

2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Oh 2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Yeah, sure

2:34 pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): sorry i know my mom doesn’t know much ab how to take care of him bc i was the one that took care of him for a while but i just really want to separate myself from that guardian role now that i’ve transferred to NYU yknow? :/ i think it’s not my place anymore. i just wanna be big sis now haha

2:46pm Gojo Satoru: I get it. Sorry if I was making you uncomfortable with my texts

2:48pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): no no not uncomfy by it, thanks for looking after him. it’s just i’m kind of busy n stuff so it can be distracting 

2:49pm Gojo Satoru: Ok, got it

2:52pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): and it was kind of an issue with his last babysitter

2:53pm Gojo Satoru: Oh?

2:55pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeahhh like he would keep textinf me n stuff uhh kinda weird things… i told my mom about it and she was super pissed so she fired him

2:55pm Gojo Satoru: Weird things?

2:56pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeah he was always “accidentally sexting me” n like he sent me a dick pic once sooooo yeah

2:56pm Gojo Satoru: Who tf 2:56pm Gojo Satoru: I’ll go beat him up

2:57pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): oh no no its fine lol 2:57pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): please dont beat anyone up 2:58pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i’m not saying you’re like him tho i just think maybe less texting unless its an emergency okay?

3:00pm Gojo Satoru: Are you sure because I will totally go beat him up for you

3:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): NO I DONT WANT YOU TO BEAT ANYONE UP FOR ME 3:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): also no offense but you dont look like you could beat someone up

3:01pm Gojo Satoru: WHAT 3:02pm Gojo Satoru: Tf you mean “no offense” that’s literally the most offensive thing you could say to a guy

3:04pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeaa i mean you have muscles ofc but in the ‘ohhh i wanna look good for instagram’ way and not like real man muscles yknow

3:06pm Gojo Satoru: Ok princess next time you visit home and go on one of your stupidly large grocery hauls I’ll make sure you carry all those groceries in by yourself 

3:06pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): NO 3:07pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): I WAS JUST JOKING 3:07pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): YOURE SO STRONG TY FOR ALWAYS CARRYING THE GROCERIES INSIDE 3:08pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): PLEASE KEEP CARRYING MY GROCERIES INSIDE

3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Nah 3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Should we be texting right now? I’m not sensing any emergencies here

3:11pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): pls. my groceries :(

3:16pm Gojo Satoru: I’ll let the kiddo know you say hi 👋🏼 

The irony of it all was that, if Gojo really wanted to, he absolutely could beat the shit out of someone. And he has, hundreds of times, pseudo professionally. Although that isn’t something he’d admit to you, out of fear that you might relay that info back to your mom who would then become mortified that she’s entrusted her five-year-old son’s life to the hands of an underground boxer. 

But he needed the money. A night-time job didn’t really make daytime money, not when they could easily replace him with the next dude the second he gets knocked out of the ring more than twice, let alone if he let it happen once. And although he sometimes made large sums, it wasn’t stable income. He needed a back-up plan, and so babysitting it was. 

The babysitter working nights at unsanctioned dojos and gyms located in the back of cartel blocks, knocking teeth out of men twice his size, would put any decent mother into a coma or induce some episode of syncope, hence why it wasn’t something he put on his resume before he got hired. Not that he even needed to provide a resume; your mom seemed desperate to cover the position as fast as possible, that promotion at work was moving faster than she wanted to, and Gojo’s beneficial attribute that he possessed as a candidate to look after her son, compared to all the other potential hires, was that he had a penis.

He likes the kid. Yuuji. He’s got kind of a short attention span, and makes Gojo weary of his age. Hold up, that makes him sound like he’s geriatric, he’s really only the ripe old age of twenty-seven, but the immortality and infinite stamina that a five-year-old boy has on him is enough to have him huffing and puffing at the end of every single evening shift he takes on with the rascal. 

Fighting is all sprint, and no stamina. Sure, there might be some more seasoned boxers that might disagree with him, but for someone as young as him in the field, it’s the tactic he’s been forced to gain. If he draws a fight on for too long, he'll get killed by a forty-two year old man with steroids clogging up his adipose tissue and enough  testosterone to grow a full-body beard by the time the sun starts to set. No, his strategy is to knock them out within the first fifteen seconds. Use their weight against them, and whatnot. A tactic he’s found has worked, since he’s been undefeated thus far. 

He can never wrap his head around it. The drug lords that run the rings who’ve gained millions the night before from selling crystal meth only to lose it all the night following in the second Gojo hooklines a solid punch to their betting boxer’s chin, making them see God & their Momma before they tap out (if they’re even able).

He doesn’t pocket much money from it, not anything compared to what the men who bet on him end up making at least, but it’s a decently solid sum. How lucrative it really is depends solely on what he thinks the value of his life is.

It’s not unheard of, boxers dying in the ring. Turns out, rich drug dealers care very little about the sheep they’ve captured to perform their entertaining little stunts. But Gojo wasn’t doing all of this to feel some sense of work-life pride, no, it was just sustenance. When basic needs are not met, humans resort to the most animalistic of all behaviors, and while he’s not proud of what he does, he can’t deny the fact that it’s turned him into an adrenaline junkie that gets a rush in his veins every time he knocks a jaw loose.

But balance was key. And hence why he’s a boxer by night, babysitter by day. For at least four days a week, he gets to pretend he’s the king’s most trusted appointed knight, or he’s the radioactive tyrannosaurus rex that wants to tyrannize all the other dinosaurs, or maybe he’s the evil power ranger (he always forgets which color that one was) that is determined to make the world a living hell by smashing mr. potatohead against the bunk bed post a billion times for all the other toys to see. Or whatever other imaginative hyperfixations Yuuji imposes on him in the later afternoon once he’s had his bowl of spaghetti-O’s and is ready to play. Lately, the kid’s been really into space. They’ve got all sorts of space toys these days. Back in Gojo’s day, he just had a good ol’ Buzz Lightyear.

“One rule, that’s it: don’t accidentally kill my son. Actually, one more rule. Don’t flirt with my daughter.” 

There’s a part of Gojo that believes your mom kind of knows he’s up to shady shit at night, otherwise why else would she clause for him to not flirt with you if she didn’t read the slight swell to his eye and the healing gash across his cheek as anything other than this boy is trouble and I want him nowhere near my too-good-for-him daughter of reproductive capacity since that’s the exact tale of how I became a single mother in the first place. Or maybe he inherently looks like he’s up to no good? He’s not sure which angle is more offensive, and which one was more flattering. Well in any case, she entrusted Yuuji’s life to him, despite acknowledging the plausibility of harm, and that means she overall thinks positively of him, right? ……right?

The first night he met you, it was awkward to say the least. Gojo spends most of his nights performing deadly stunts for middle aged men with potbellies, and most of his days hanging out with a five-year-old (one who he’d argue is his only friend at this point). Sure, he’s got some people he sees occasionally back in his high school hometown when he can brave hearing about how everyone’s in college now or doing a masters or they’re working respectable nine-to-five day jobs meanwhile he has to lie to his Pops that he’s been working in insurance for the past two years. Listen, in fairness, he probably makes the same amount of money as an insurance broker would anyways, but he can’t exactly own up to the identity of his craft. 

Anyways, the point is, he’s not used to seeing other people his age anymore. There’s the occasional hook-up with girls he hasn’t seen since Mrs. Tracy’s homeroom period back in sweet two-thousand-sixteen, or his twice-a-year hangout with Suguru where he only learns the day of where he's visiting from since the guy moves around more than Gojo can keep up with. But save for that, he mostly just sees your mom and then Yuuji. 

So seeing you standing in the kitchen for the first time when he went to put Yuuji’s half-finished GoGurt back in the fridge was startling to say the least. When the sight of a woman startled him, he knew he needed to start getting out again.

You were on your tiptoes, reaching up to grab at something over the fridge, and wearing these ridiculously short shorts to where he could see the curve of your ass, his line of sight trailing down the skin of your bare legs. He couldn’t see anything of your form above your shorts, given you were wearing an extremely baggy t-shirt with NYU on it in big bolded university letters. As far as he knew, you were a senior at NYU, studying psychology, made dean’s list consecutively for the past three years given the way your mother posted all your stellar transcripts up on the fridge (he gets that she’s proud of her daughter, but doesn’t that kind of stuff usually end in grade school?) But other than that, it was all the information he had on you.

“Here,” he said, pressing his front to your back, maybe just to get a feel, as he reached over to you to finally grab the box of cereal you were swatting for, the one that he purposefully placed at the back because Yuuji learned how to climb counters recently. “Is this what you want?”

He had heard you gasp, spinning around on your heel fast, staring up at him with wide eyes like you weren’t expecting some random man to be in the house right now, and your first instinct ended up being to grab the knife out of the kitchen knife block and lunge it straight at his torso.

If it wasn’t for his boxer reflexes, he’d have ended up at the ER that evening. Or dead. All depending on the strength you could pack into a stab. But instead, he deflected it, though not without a gash to his torso through the fabric of his shirt, one that you spent the rest of the evening profusely apologizing for and eventually mending to with cotton balls and neosporin. 

“I didn’t know you were my little brother’s babysitter,” you mumbled with a small wince on your face as you dabbed ointment on the wound while he pulled the hem of his shirt up to his shoulder. He’s never had an injury tended to before. It was nice.

“It’s fine, I get it, totally acceptable response to seeing a random dude in your house.”

He remembers the curl of your eyelashes while you stared down at his bare upper half, something he imprinted on his memory rather than the concern in your face as your fingertips traced the scars across his chest. He hoped they made you feel better about the one you just slashed into him, because after all, what was one more? 

He knows he shouldn’t have, but he kissed you that night. Two minutes before your mom came home, and right after you bid him goodnight with one more apology, he backed you up against the door of your bedroom, his hands on your hips pulling you towards him, and his lips pressed against yours. Something seamless, from candid conversation that was heading towards an end, to full fledged making out against white-painted wood, his teeth nipping at your lip and he wondered just how touch-starved those university boys were leaving you given the desperate way you’d clinged to his shirt for dear life as he deepened the kiss.

The moment only lasted one minute and fifty-seven seconds, and in the remaining three, your mother’s key pushed into the front door and he had to pull away. Always, on the dot, 10PM, she was home. It was how he knew he had two minutes left to make a move in the first place.

So much for no flirting.

6:57pm Gojo Satoru: Bahahah I accidentally forgot where yuuji’s epipen is 6:58pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 6:59pm Gojo Satoru: Turns out this can-o-soup was just covering it in the cabinet

7:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): ??? why did you need to find his epipen

7:08pm Gojo Satoru: Oh he accidentally took a bite of my pad thai 7:09pm Gojo Satoru: I freaked cuz I thought it had peanuts in it but I remember I asked for it without any  7:09pm Gojo Satoru: shit’s crazy

7:10pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TEXT ME????????

7:12pm Gojo Satoru: YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT ME TEXTING YOU UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY ?

7:13pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): SATORU YOU THOGHT HE ATE SOMETHING W PEANUTS IN IT AND YOU FORGOT WHERE HIS EPIPEN WAS THATSS A FUCKIGN EMERGENCY

7:15pm Gojo Satoru: THE KID IS DOING FINE HES ALIVE JESUS LEAVE ME ALONE 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: See. he’s chill 7:17pm Gojo Satoru: with intact airways might I add 7:18pm Gojo Satoru: Also isn’t he a little too old to still be watching baby sensory videos?

7:20pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeah my mom thinks he has adhd :(

7:22pm Gojo Satoru: oh

He tried to keep his word though (although he doesn’t recall ever giving it) out of the respect he had for your mom. She was a hard-working lady, single mom of two who went from working three jobs to now being a major administrator at a big law firm near the outskirts of town. It was an underdog story if he’d ever heard one, and he loved an underdog story. 

But a little texting here and there wouldn’t hurt, right? Or so he thought, until you told him to cut it out with the contact. Maybe you were just trying to be the good one in this situation. After all, hooking up with your little brother’s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision. Still, he’ll eventually get your replies to his which shirt should Yuuji wear to the park? and look, the toothfairy gave him the butt of a joint and a couple thumbtacks for his front tooth. he’s ecstatic texts, although in a less timely manner than before when you weren’t trying to preserve propriety. And when you’d occasionally visit every other weekend, he’d do his best to keep his hands in his pockets, and you’d fill up your nights with hangouts with your hometown friends to avoid spending too much time with him at the house. A silent agreement to not fuck each other, it was. 

4:55pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): send pic of yuuji pls i miss him :(

5:04pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo]

5:08pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): IS THAT BLOOD?!?!?!?!

5:09pm Gojo Satoru: chillllllll it’s fake. We’re working on his halloween costume

5:09pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): WHY DOES IT HAVE BLOOD?!?!?!?!?!?

5:10pm Gojo Satoru: He wants to be a baby xenomorph and I'm his parasitic host. You know that iconic chestburster scene from the old school alien movies? yeah

5:12pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): satoru please for the love of god just dress him up as a dinosaur or something

5:13pm Gojo Satoru: I’m not the one that came up with the idea, okay? It was him

5:14pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): because you let him watch adult swim with you before putting him to bed. you’ve deranged his brain.

5:14pm Gojo Satoru: He needs it. Builds character.

Gojo was living a double life, and if someone asked him, he’d say it was less of a Clark Kent way and more of a Bruce Wayne way, although in reality, he knows it’s close to neither. He’s no superhero with a concealed identity fighting crime, he’s a con artist that’s tricked a hard-working woman into hiring him just because he’s trying to save up enough money to get the fuck out of this godforsaken town, given he’s not knocked dead before then for the crime’s amusement.

But Yuuji looks up to him now. And Gojo’s grown attached to him too. He taught the kid how to tie his own shoes and piss inside the actual toilet like a real man. And that kid’s the only thing that’s made him question any of this. Maybe that’s what dads feel, suddenly held to all this impossible responsibility and the pressure to stop doing stupid shit so that you’ll stick around to see your kids get older. The thought that there are eyes on you now, eyes that are innocent and hopeful and learning, and because they know nothing at all, you feel the responsibility to protect them from everything. For fucks sake, remind him to never become a dad. 

“Do you like my sister?” Yuuji had asked him out of nowhere one afternoon after he just got home from preschool, stacking a blue cube over a yellow one at the dining table.

“Uhh,” Gojo starts. He wondered if your mom had put a wire on the kid, so his answer was as diplomatic as he could manage. “Yeah, she’s cool. You’ve got a cool sister.”

“But. But.” Yuuji stutters, trying to find his big boy words. He stretches up higher to reach the top of his stack of blocks, but he only has so much arm real estate at the age of five. “Do you like her like you wanna kiss her?”

Gojo grabs the block from the kid’s hand, for a moment questioning Yuuji’s decision to want to put a blue block over another blue block, but he figures aesthetics are the least of a kid’s concern, and so he places the block where Yuuji wanted it. 

Why does the kid know what kissing is anyway? Do kids know that kind of stuff at that age? Isn’t a kiss to a five-year-old just something their mom gives to them before they head off to preschool for the day? And not something that happens between adult men and women? Maybe he should stop watching that adult swim in front of him.

“No. I don’t want to kiss your sister,” he says, again, because he is suspicious of a wire. It was a lie and then some, because he wants to do a lot more than just kiss you.

Gojo lifts the RedBull he was nursing up to his lips and watches Yuuji in the corner of his eye as the kid stares at his growing stack of blocks with a concentrated expression on his face, his chubby fingers squeezing tightly into little round dimpled balls, like he’s putting together all his tiny brain cells together to form another coherent thought before turning to face Gojo on the chair.

“It’s ok. You can kiss her if you wan’ed to. You can marry her too,” Yuuji says.

Gojo almost spits out his RedBull. He barely manages to swallow it, a broken cough immediately leaving his throat when some of the liquid goes down the wrong pipe and he’s smacking a fist against his chest to knock the sanity back into himself.

“Where the fu—…where the flip did that come from?” he asks, blinking back tears from the rasp in his throat.

Yuuji’s small shoulders sulk as he sits back on his heels. “I want a papa.”

Oh fuck that hurt. Jesus christ, there was nothing more sad than that. Yuuji has literally never known what it’s like to have a dad, since his had left before he was even born. Gojo’s not really close to his old man by any means, but he had still been a fatherly figure in some pivotal moments when he had needed it growing up. Kids need their dads. And he’s seen enough people lose their way without one to know that the value of them is really underestimated.

He’s also kind of shocked that Yuuji really did think of you as his motherly figure. Maybe since it had always just been him and his dad, Gojo learned how to self sustain from a young age, and he and his dad became accustomed to just looking after their own interests to avoid the headache of tending to one another. My land is my land, and your land is yours, and there was the occasional Saturday night spent together with his dad’s millions of beer bottles emptied dry on the carpet in front of the 1992 box TV as the two shared a greasy pizza from the place down the street. That was the extent of family solidarity that he knew.

But he can’t imagine being barely eighteen and having to take care of your little brother all by yourself because your mom was too busy trying to put food on the table and was too poor to hire a babysitter. Your mom tried so damn hard to keep you away from the single teenage mother life, but somehow ended up giving it to you by proxy in the end anyway. It was no wonder you wanted space now that Yuuji’s a little older and your mom can afford a babysitter. No matter how much you might love your sibling, being their effective guardian out of pure necessity had to have taken a toll.

Gojo clears his throat before he speaks. “Buddy. If I married your sister, we’d be brothers. I wouldn’t be your dad.” 

Yuuji’s eyes light up at the word brother. “Brothers? Me and you?”

“Yeah. Bros.”

The kid giggles, all bubbly with cheeks rounding fully and eyes sparkling. Gojo reaches out to ruffle at his hair before Yuuji gets down onto one stubby leg at a time from the chair then bolts towards the kitchen.

“Juice!!” he yells somewhere around the corner out of sight.

Gojo sighs, staring at all the toys he pulled out for Yuuji to play with, all left in a scattered mess across the table. He gets up out of his chair and heads towards the fridge. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you your juice, you little demon.”

The conclusion he comes to, and it might read like an obvious one, is that kids don’t really know the reality of life, hence why adults hide so much from them. 

This is what he thinks of tonight when he wraps his worn out boxing tape around his hands and his wrist, tightening it with his teeth, and he can smell the sweat and grime from them. The back of the underground gym had an old dated locker room, and as Gojo stretches his neck side to side while sitting on the stiff metal bench, he eyes the peeling red paint of the locker in front of him, blurring vision making it look like spilt blood. 

His phone pings with a text. He shuffles inside his duffle bag to look for it while his other hand scratches at his bare chest.

1:07am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): hhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 1:07am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): omgomgomg sor y i’m 

He blinks at the screen, confusion flashing across his face. He types one letter, but then he sees three dots and a speech text bubble in the bottom left, so he waits for you.

1:09am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i drunk :(

The corner of his mouth ticks up slightly. 

1:09am Gojo Satoru: Yeah I can tell

1:10am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): at a apartyyyy

His eyebrows raise slightly, the thought of you tipsy on some frat party couch flashing through his mind, yet of all things you could be doing at that frat party, you’re texting him? Must be a really boring party.

1:11am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): whyyy are you aawake?

1:12am Gojo Satoru: Couldn’t sleep 1:12am Gojo Satoru: Don’t you have a midterm in the morning?

1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): wtf hwo do you knwo that

1:15am Gojo Satoru: Your mom keeps your schedule posted on the fridge

1:15am yuuji’s sister (no flirting): im so fucked;’;(((

He snorts. He’s got a bit more life experience than you, five-ish years to be exact, more than enough time to master the no-hangover hangout, but just before he can offer you some advice, he sees another text from you. 

1:16am yuuji’s sister (no flirting): can i tell u smething 

His gaze flits up to the ceiling briefly, and he hears commotion outside the thick walls of the locker room. The previous fight was over, and fast. The guy must’ve been knocked out in under twenty seconds tops, which means that Gojo was next up against whatever superbeast just beat him up. 

1:17am Gojo Satoru: Sure

He stands up, placing his phone down on the bench before he flexes the muscles in his arms a couple times to get the blood flowing into them. And there’s the noise of another ping. Actually, four.

1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): sonetimes 1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i thikn of  1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): when u kisse me 1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): *kissed me

His eyes widen slightly, irises dry to the ashy cigarette smoke from outside lingering in the air, and his heart rate picks up a bit. An adrenaline junkie with close to no fear in his veins due to the way his amygdala’s been fried to a crisp from years of boxing, yet he’s got his breath hitched from the memory of your soft lips against his. It makes the blood rushing through the muscles of his arms rush somewhere down south instead.

Loud banging on the door of the locker room jolts him out of his trance, and he’s stiff around the edges once more.

“Satoru! You’re up, man,” he hears Danny, the fight coordinator, yell at him from the other side of the heavy & poorly-installed steel door.

Gojo sighs, glancing down at the texts on his phone. To respond, or not to respond. You’re off your face, clearly chatty from the alcohol, and he knows for certain you’ll regret every life decision you’ve ever made once you wake up in the morning and see the self sabotaging behaviors you’ve engaged in tonight. He knows that responding to you might put you at ease rather than straight up ignoring you, but the feeling will pass, and he has a match to win with no more room left to stall.

He makes his way out the locker room, pushing past the crowded halls of people underneath dim flashing club lighting, some dudes angrily jerking to face him when he pushes past them with a stiff shoulder, only for their eyes to widen when they see just exactly who pushed them. 

There’s strippers in the ring, doing some routine for pre-match, and Gojo narrows his eyes at the man he sees laying back over the rubber boundary rope, head tipped back up to the ceiling with a wicked grin on his face. So that was his opponent? He’s never seen the guy before. Was he from a different district? Different district talent was tough, you had no background info on them, while they’ve been preparing to be here for weeks. Hence why boxers tend to do better when they visit a different district than they do in their own. There have been rules made to limit these types of fights, mostly over outrage that it was unfair to bid on them, but they were also usually more entertaining to watch. Gojo’s got a sick feeling to his stomach as the strippers clear the ring.

“Hey,” Gojo calls out, grabbing Danny by the back of his collar and dragging him towards him and away from the girls stepping down onto the floor, “what’s in for this fight?”

Danny glances up at the ceiling. “Tarp’s bettin’ tonight, so it can’t be anything less than ten grand for you. I’d say tops fifteen?”

Gojo narrows his eyes further, then glances off into the ring again. The man stands up, and Gojo gets a better look on his face. He’s got short hair, neon green in color with a dark fade underneath and tattoos all over his face. But those eyes. They were freakishingly red, and it made him uneasy. He knows the type. The type of boxers that do this to genuinely hurt people for thrill. Make no mistake, Gojo understands he’s made himself out to be like that too, gaining some kind of rush out of this profession, but this type of fighter was different. The type to literally continue smashing a dude’s face into the floor until they’re a bloody mess even minutes after the winning call, and no referee to stop it because that’s the kind of action the spectators wanted.

Danny reads his line of sight. “That’s Gale. Newton’s new boxing toy. Came outta nowhere about a month ago. He’s undefeated so far in his district, and Newton specifically wanted to see you up against him tonight,” Danny tells Gojo, resting his elbow up on his bare shoulder. “Chances are he’ll compete with Tarp for final bid if you win this one. I’m talking twenty-five grand in the next if you can knock him out in this.”

“Uh-huh,” Gojo acknowledges, rolling his shoulder so Danny’s elbow falls from it. Forget the money, he just wants to make it out of this alive.

He sets his foot up on the square, ducking through the dividing boundary straps and the tacky caution construction tape that the gym thinks creates an exciting ambience. He hears the static of the speakers as the announcers call out Gojo’s name, then this other guy, loud bass club music booming through Gojo’s chest as he tries to take a few deep breaths through the thick air of this low-ceiling arena. 

The dim overhead lights flickered, casting shadows over the makeshift ring, and the crowd pressed tight around at every perimeter area, yelling and pushing, one even tosses a beer bottle on the square and it shatters, spreading glass all across, a few shards reaching Gojo’s feet and he looks down at them with a shudder. A fight immediately breaks out in the crowd over something related or possibly entirely unrelated, and he’d have no way of knowing as he swipes the shards away with his heel.

The influential men always sat up on higher seating, off towards the back in their own VIP section where they suck in the smoke of fat cigarettes and peer through 100% tinted sunglasses to assess the boxers they’ve bid thousands on. The light reflects off the golden grills of their teeth with every snarl at any passerby that gets too close, like a lion in its den. That’s what the sanction was called. Lion’s den.

Gojo sighed, eyeing the twisted grin of this Gale guy across from him. Was that his real name? Usually, foreign district guys get nicknames. Gojo’s always thought the nicknames were tacky, and he’s accumulated some of his own over the years, but to his ears, none of them ever really landed, although The White Fox admittedly was kinda nice. Reminded him of throwback shooting games. 

He sucked a breath in through his teeth, holding his hands up in front of his chest in weak fists, storing energy in them in the form of pure anticipation alone, and then the bell rang.

His opponent lunged towards him immediately, fists flying in a barrage of reckless strikes, and Gojo’s eyes momentarily widened in the briefest moments of hesitation he had been allowed before ducking and dodging every one of this guy's shots, then jumping a step back to create distance.

Fuck. He was fast. Not just boxer fast, athlete fast. There was a difference. And it wasn’t a good one to be up against.

Gojo picked up light on his feet. He couldn’t win this one fast, that much was certain. One single careless or reckless move, and he’ll get tackled. He knows that by the malicious look he sees on that guy’s face, grin wide like he’s some cannibalistic beast. 

Stepping back towards the center, Gojo purposefully set himself up for Gale to swipe a vicious hook towards his head, before Gojo last minute ducked down, crouched to the floor, and swung his leg out to knock the guy off balance by his ankles, and he falls onto his back with a loud thud!

There’s a moment of momentary silence from the crowd, right before Gojo put the man in a torso-lock, twisting him in a way a human body should absolutely not be twisted, hearing the grunts of pain and the crack of spine even through the shouts of the crowd.

He can hear it. Kill him! Knock his fucking teeth out! Snap his neck like a goose, man! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM!

He feels like throwing up. 

Gojo looks up at the referee, who wasn’t really a referee, just there to run the clock when there was action and only barely stop it before near death. “This is enough, right?” he asks.

The referee nods. “1-0, next round.”

Gojo lets go of his opponent, leaving him there to heave for a moment before he gets up onto his feet again. Just needs one more, and he’s a winner. Ten grand in his pocket, and he won’t have to come back here for a couple weeks.

Gale gets up, swiping at the spit that had trickled out the corner of his mouth down to his chin, and he had an enraged look on his face. The second the bell rang for the second round, he exploded forward towards Gojo with even more fervor than before, gritted expression with a thirst for violence fueling the storm of punches he was throwing towards Gojo but he tried to remain calm, light on his feet, swiftly duck and avoid before he can find another opportunity to clear a sharp, clean jab right to the ribs—

sometimes, i think of when you kissed me

Gojo misses his strike, leaving his guard wide open, and Gale takes the opportunity to land a solid punch straight to his jaw, sending his mouth guard flying straight out of his mouth into the air, and knocking him backwards onto the ground with a thud and then he finds himself staring up at the rusting metal ceiling and a ringing in his ears that almost matches the roar of the crowd.

His head is in a haze, dizzy like where one second could feel like a millennia. He feels a soreness underneath his chin, a pain that radiates to his mouth, and he briefly swipes his tongue over his front teeth to make sure he still has all of them. 

What the fuck was that? That intrusive thought. There’s no intrusive thoughts allowed in life or death situations, not when he was always just one smash to the head away from a permanent concussion. But, fuck, he can’t help it. Can’t help thinking of you. Even when his vision has gone blurry and he should really be weary about what happens next in this ring, his mind’s just thinking about you, at some frat party, tipping back shots of tequila and waiting for a text-back in response to your tipsy ones. Were you even waiting up on him? Have you already passed out on the couch, or were your friends dragging you back to your dorm? Or are you fucking some other dude right now? Has he got his hand up your top, squeezing at you, sleazily feeling you up before spilling beer all down your shirt, and are you kissing him back with the same enthusiasm, your phone now somewhere long slipped between the cushions of the couch and out of sight?

Even though it’s still sore, he tenses his jaw. Grinds his teeth, even. Tasting blood somewhere along the line of his gums, he realizes his lip is split. He licks at it, the flavor of copper more rich on his tongue, and he clenches his fists tightly. Why’s he thinking of that right now? It just pisses him off, the thought of you with some other dude. Maybe that’s what he needs to win this fight. Spite. Although he’s not sure why the guy across from him at the ring has to pay for it.

He lifts his head up off the ground, and while it felt like years he had been down, a glance at the timer tells him it’s only been a solid four seconds. A solid four seconds that his opponent had to fully charge a lunge towards him with the look of death in his face, raising his elbow up into the air in time with his leap, ready to come straight down, and Gojo’s eyes widen at the sight above him from where he’s still lying on the wood.

“Shit—” he cusses, rolling his body over to the side so that the dude falls straight down onto the floor rather than elbow Gojo in the fucking ribs, and then he gets back up on his feet. 

Stakes were high, he has to end this, he has to end this now, and he flexes the muscle in his right bicep, channeling everything he has into this one blow, and before Gale even really has a chance to turn around and face him again, Gojo’s already three-fourths set up a knockout undercut that he drives straight up the guy’s chin, with so much force it has him lifting up off the floor, a vertebrate stretch to his spine before he’s sent flying backwards and slammed against the tight rubber lining of the ring to where he was half hanging over it.

The room fell silent for a split second, then erupted in a roar as the referee fell to one knee beside Gale, checking him for any semblance of consciousness, and when he found none, he waves the match off. 

Gojo’s eyes flit up towards the lion’s den, the only opinions that he really needed to care about were sitting in those mahogany chairs with glasses of scotch swirling around in their hands, and he sees some of them looking straight at Gojo before leaning towards one another and discretely talking about something he can’t make out because he doesn’t know how to read lips.

He feels someone tug at his arms from behind, pulling him to crouch down and he balances back on the balls of his feet. He glances down through the ring at the floor. Danny was leaning against the wooden surface of it. “Dude. Go.” He jerks his head towards Gale, who still laid there sprawled across the now stretched out rubber perimeter bands. “Go fuck him up. Knock a few more teeth out, I don’t know, get some more blood out of him.”

“What?” Gojo huffs, yanking his arm away from Danny’s grip. “The fuck are you saying?”

“I told you, man, Newton’s here and he’s got his eye on you. Go give him a show,” Danny says, “do it.” And when he sees clear frustration on Gojo’s face he sighs. “Twenty-five grand, consider that, will you?”

Gojo sneers at the man, an awful taste in his mouth as he spits blood towards Danny’s feet. “Go fuck yourself on his cock if he wants a show that bad.” And then he ducks underneath the bands and hops back down onto the floor, pushing past people who were trying to grab at him and pull at him and lift him up and even throw him down until he made it through flashing hallways and back to the locker room.

He shuts the door behind him, sliding the bolt lock into the frame so no one can follow him inside, and then he leans his weight back against the chilling steel before tipping his head back until it hits the surface too.

He lets out of a few deep breaths, then stares down at the sting he finds over his knuckles. Red and blistering from the last punch he delivered, and he’s almost certain he broke a bone in his hand. Fuck. It was bleeding across the cuts, too. He had to figure out a way to get it all healed by tomorrow, as if that was humanly possible, just because he doesn’t want Yuuji questioning him about it.

Yuuji. For fucks sake, when has he ever thought about the kid this much? When has he ever thought about much of anything when he’s out here or in the ring? He’s a babysitter by day. He’s a “part” of your family when the sun is up and normal functioning society is breathing their lives into the clean air. That’s it. He’s no five-year-old’s caretaker in front of all these primetime drug lords, and he certainly shouldn’t be thinking of you when facing big, burly men he’s aiming to rough up, all within the dead hours of night. So then how come these thoughts are on his mind at all times, twenty-four-seven, around the clock?

He heads further into the locker room, glancing down at the bench where he’d left his phone, then picks it up, neck craned all the way down to glance at the screen as he holds his phone by his hip because he doesn’t have any energy to pick it up any further towards his eyesight. 

He sees your messages. You never sent any follow-up ones, just your horrendously typed out sonetimes, i thikn of when u kisse me *kissed me across the span of four texts, and Gojo runs a tired hand down his face.

He tips his head back to groan at the ceiling, guttural with no basis other than a release of all the pent up frustration of every sort, then he types in a couple messages to you,

3:23am Gojo Satoru: That’s nice 3:24am Gojo Satoru: I think about fucking you all the time 

—and then tosses his phone into his duffel bag to call it a night.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

You’re awoken to your alarm blaring heavily, and you whack your arm across your nightstand table beside your tiny twin-size bed to hit the snooze button, then rub your eye with a loose fist while smacking at the residual taste of alcohol you have on your tongue. 

“Mm…” you mumble to yourself. And then the thirst hits you. The overwhelming, intense, unquenchable thirst that leaves your mouth feeling like the Sahara desert before you grab your twice-dented Hydroflask from the nightstand, twist the cap off and chug about twenty ounces of water in one breath. 

You let out a deep exhale and fall back into bed, your hand resting on top of your water-filled tummy, and you stare up at the ceiling of your dorm. 

Last night was horrible. You knew you shouldn’t have gone to that frat party, especially given you have an exam in—you checked the time on your phone—about an hour, and an hour was not enough time to recover from the raging hangover headache that’s pounding through your head. But your roommates insisted you went, and so go you did. You never knew what to expect, always torn between shaving your pussy before you go or throwing on a stained pair of sweatpants to keep the guys away instead. Sometimes, it was a combination of both. But last night, you ended up drinking more than you usually do, and that always led to poor, poor, poor decisions, in which all the sense of pride you had in yourself was washed down with the puke that you hurled into the upstairs toilet. 

You grab at your phone again, briefly seeing that your friends had sent you some photos from the night. You immediately swiped off to the side to dismiss the notifications, because as far as you were concerned, you never wanted to see those photos in your life.

And then, in the briefest of moments, you saw a familiar name in your notifications that made you heart skip a beat.

Gojo Satoru (yuuji’s babysitter)

With an immediate gasp, you pulled your phone to your chest and held it there, blinking up at the pale yellow ceiling, your heart picking up in rhythm.

Oh fuck.

That was right.

You drunk texted him last night.

You drunk texted your little brother’s hot babysitter.

Fuck.

Mortified was an understatement, possibly because you don’t even remember what you said, and so you don’t even want to see what he replied with.

You groan, rubbing both your hands across your face then kick your sheets back with your feet like a child having a temper tantrum because you were so embarrassed you had even texted him at all last night. I mean, he was hot. A little older than you, really gorgeous eyes, tall, and, yeah, you gave him shit for the Instagram muscles thing, but that’s only because you thought he’d find it cheeky that you were trying to humble him despite the fact that he’s more toned and ruggedly sculpted than any other man you’ve ever met. You didn’t want to have a flustered schoolgirl attitude because it would just seep through to his ego.

In any case, he was hot, there was no denying it, so can you really blame yourself? But still. There was collateral with this. You had to see him every other weekend. He knows your family, even your extended since they invited him to Thanksgiving dinner a couple weeks ago. A high-risque drunk text recipient if he ever was one (of course he has been, look at that face). Why couldn’t you have just drunk texted ECON160 guy from last semester who Clit DJ’d you underneath your desk at the back of the lecture hall instead?

The thing that made you nervous about Gojo Satoru was that he was just so…confident? Like, in that I was raised to be this way confident and not that I fought inner demons my whole life to barely end up this way confident, y’know? Never had to fake it ‘til he made it, he just was. At least that was the kind of energy you got from him, and unfortunately for you, it was nerve wracking but enticing all at the same time.

You sigh. “Stupid. Stupid. Stuuuuuupiiiiidddddddddddd. You. Are. So. Stuuuuuupiiiiddddddd,” you sigh, running your hands through your hair to grip at the strands.

You pull your phone away from your chest, and finally brave yourself to read the texts from your notifications screen, but not without blurring your vision a little to further stall. And then you finally refocus it to read them. The first one you see has you gasping—

3:24am Gojo Satoru (yuuji’s babysitter): I think about fucking you all the time 

It has heat spreading across your cheeks, and you blink at your screen, then quickly swipe up to read the previous messages with rushed glides of your index finger on the screen to see that he had sent it to you in response to your barely coherent texts about how you still so often think about that time he randomly pressed you up against the door of your bedroom to kiss you that night you first met him.

I think about fucking you all the time

At 3 in the morning? He decided to send that text at 3 in the fucking morning? That was the devil’s hour. What’s he trying to tell you? 

Oh come on, you’re not stupid. And you know he isn’t either. The sexual tension was palpable, it was there since the day you two met and you almost stabbed him, and also everytime you were visiting the house, and his shoulder brushes against yours when he’s trying to get past you in the kitchen, or when you’ve got Yuuji in your arms and the kid is clinging to Gojo’s sleeve because he wants him near him at all times. There’s even sexual tension over the phone, in those stupid texts he sends you all the time about meaningless child care stuff, and honestly, those little updates made your day.

But… you don’t know much about him, and your mom would kill you if she ever found out you wanted him. And she’d probably pulverize him if she found out he ever made a move on you. Cremated without leaving a trace behind would be an understatement. She thinks he’s no good and she thinks you’re too good. You know she’s warned him before to not get close to you, as if she was pre-emptively expecting him to try to get in your pants like it was some canon force of the universe, hence why he’s probably so fucking awkward around you whenever she’s there too. Like if he accidentally got caught staring at your ankles, your mom would light him on fire, so he’d rather not risk it by just avoiding looking at you at all.

Your mom has always been protective of you. Your father was a deadbeat, one she thought she loved, only to watch him leave. And she had to raise a baby all by herself. He re-entered your lives right before you graduated high school, knocked up your mom again with Yuuji, and guess what? Left again without a trace. To be doubly humiliated by a man is a fate you wouldn’t wish on any woman, but that’s exactly what your mom went through. It was a wake-up call for her, though. No more living paycheck to paycheck like you had been your whole lives up until Yuuji was born. The kid doesn’t even know how lucky he is with everything he has right now. Your mom worked her way up the corporate ladder and made something of herself and now you guys were comfortable, so it was safe to say she had some sort of right to look after her daughter, of whom she simply doesn’t want to follow in the same naive footsteps of her youth.

You get it. She wants to break the generational cycle. But it made being with men tough on all fronts, let alone dating. You could never bring a guy home because he’d never be enough, even if he cured cancer or could make you orgasm while doing a sixty-nine handstand. And while her overbearing paranoia over what you do or where you are or who you’re with has since dimmed slightly since you officially moved out to finish your last year of higher education at NYU, you can still feel her disappointment from a hundred miles away when you’re making out with some random frat guy on his beer-stained couch at eleven AM on a Tuesday.

But you got to college. You’ve already made it this far. You’re on dean’s list. You graduated high school as salutatorian. You’re the most highly decorated cello player in the state. You won Miss County pageant when you were sixteen for your philanthropic efforts towards feline leukemia. You did online community college for three years so you could stick back after high school and help your mom raise Yuuji, which meant that you had to forfeit your scholarship to Cornell. You’ve spent your whole life being good, you just wanna be bad for a little bit.

And if bad meant fucking the hot and mysterious babysitter, then so be it. 

You pick your phone up, begin blasting what the hell by Avril Lavigne on your dorm room bluetooth speaker, then type a message to him that says—

10:34am you: do it then

—then shove your phone under the sheets and belt out the lyrics aaaall my life i’ve been good, but now, ahhhh i’m thinkin’ what the hell!!! while kicking your feet and clutching your pillow.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gojo has no clue what divine entity has overcast their gratuitous spirit over him on this blessed Monday afternoon, but he’ll thank them for it later once his balls are empty. 

He’s got you on your back, sprawled across the couch in the living room, the first fuck being a rushed one that you offered him with before he has to go pick Yuuji up from circle time at preschool, which wasn’t ideal, but he’s delirious at the sight of you underneath him right now. Your little NYU shirt, a tighter one this time, bunched up over your bare breasts, otherwise entirely naked other than the flimsy panties dangling at your ankle, and the view of the tip of his cock looking hot and heavy against the velvet of your cunt, slowly pushing in, feeling the warmth of your walls squeeze around him paired with the sweet moan that leaves your lips, makes him fall forward with a bracing hand dug into the cushion by the side of your head because the sensation feels so fucking good he can hardly keep himself upright.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunts, pushing himself in further to try and bottom out but he’s still got a couple inches he needs you to take, and so you curl your hips upwards towards the cieling to make more room for him, practically putting yourself into a mating press and soon enough he’s balls deep, “you on any birth control?”

“Uh-huh,” you moan, eyes closed and head tipped back with one hand squeezing your own tit.

“I can cum inside then, yeah?” he asks you, pushing your knees to your chest, slowly drawing his hips back and you squirm underneath him.

“Let’s get there first, and then we’ll discuss,” you breathe out.

“I’ve been there for the past ten minutes, baby. I could cum at any second with the way you look and feel,” he informs you flatly, because it was just the truth and you had to know it, then he feels himself twitch inside, slowly working up to a languid rhythm, almost fearfully like your mom’s going to pop out somewhere around the corner with a camera crew ready like one of those retro TV shows just to humiliate him on national television for not keeping it in his pants like she’d told him to. 

“Harder,” he hears you whisper, and he rolls his eyes shut to just focus on the feeling. The feeling of your nails grazing down the skin of his chest and his abs, tracing the scars he’s collected over the years, and he feels you tightening around him. He leans down to kiss you, fucking you properly now with the squeak of the couch springs echoing across the room, your hums of moans seeping through his lips until he’s fully taking them on with an open-mouthed kiss of sloppy tongue. 

The fact that it was wrong felt right to him, and he realizes in this moment he’s lost all sense of control. He wasn’t just an adrenaline junkie that liked to rough up dudes, he was an adrenaline junkie that wanted to fuck you against all better judgement or moral compass. The way your tits were bouncing, the slap of skin on skin, his balls slapping against your ass while you wrap your legs around him tighter, all convincing him that any consequence made it worth it.

“Good,” he groans the praise, pinning your hands above your head as he rams his hips against yours, your cute moans and squeals sounding like literal music to his ears and he feels heat spread all the way up his neck, “goooood, keep squeezin’ me like that, fuck.” He slows down momentarily, just to take a moment and watch, really look and see the way his length disappears inside of your pretty self with every push forward, and then he works back up to a relentless pace that has you tipping your head back with a slack jaw and eyes closed tightly shut, sprained expression of pleasure spread across.

“Oh, oh my god, Satoru—” you mewled and he felt dizzy from the sound of his name from your softly parted lips.

“Fuck, I’m gonna—” His hand finds it’s way between your legs, calloused pads of his fingers brushing against your clit and you jolt underneath him, gasping as your hand shoots out to dig your nails into his bicep for purchase. “I’m gonna cum, better tell me where you want it.”

“In me,” you moan, “nowhere else.”

He presses his mouth against your cheek in a lazy smile, “Atta girl,” he drawls before pushing your ankles down as far as they’d go near your ears, folding you in half and then reigns all hell into your cunt. He should really care a bit more about your pleasure, but testing your flexibility like this with both his hands holding you down was doing sinful things to his brain, and besides, you had yourself covered with the messy circles you were rubbing over your clit. It was hot to see that too, your nimble pretty fingers so close to the place where he was pounding into you. 

“Oh shit, shit, shit—” he grunts when starts to see blistering white in his vision, balls straining with a pleasure that was almost painful. The moment he finishes feels like hot flashes in his brain, a heat like the cum he begins to paint inside your walls in time with your release, thrusting over and over and over, each one more staggered as he lets off a long, drawn out groan that comes from deep within his chest with the feeling of you milking him dry and the sound of you enjoying every second of it. He can’t remember the last time he came this much or this hard and even after coming down from the high, he feels the remnant pulse of your orgasm around his now half-flaccid dick.

He leisurely pulls out, hearing you let out a soft whimper as he marvels at the sight of his cum slowly dripping out of you and down towards the couch, before he scoops it up with a couple fingers and pushes it back inside. You grip his wrist tightly, but you weren’t stopping it, that motion of him plunging it all back into you.

“Want a taste?” he asks, casually.

“Mhm,” you nod, face looking flush.

He pulls his fingers out of you, coated with sex, then plugs your pussy with the fingers of his other hand because he kinda likes the idea of you walking around all day with him inside of you, so he doesn’t want it getting out. He’s then pushing his other fingers past your lips, pleased to find he’s met with not even so much as a grazing of teeth, and he grins, “bet you take a dick in your mouth as good as you take it down here.”

Your furrow your brows at him, the pout of your lips seen in the way they were puckered to lick his fingers off clean, and when you release the suction with a smack of your tongue and his fingers were wet from your saliva now, his eyes narrow with desire. You push his face away with the heel of your palm to his forehead. “Flattery won’t make me suck your dick.”

“Alright. So? How is it?” he jerks his chin towards your face, pushing against your hand with his forehead until he’s hovering over you again, “taste good?”

“It’s cum, Satoru.”

He shrugs. “Bad?”

“No,” you say, and you can’t make eye contact, “good.” You sigh. “Hot. I don’t know. Salty, sweet. I’m the sweet. You’re the salty. And this conversation is obscene.”

He kisses you, capturing your lips softly, tongue darting out to taste what’s on yours. “I like it that way. Dirty. Nasty. Obscene, whatever.”

There’s the slam of a car door heard from the driveway, and the two of you instantly make eye contact with round eyes.

“Sa—” you stutter, “Satoru.”

He gets up off the couch in a panic, and heads to the window of the living room fully butt-ass naked, then peers through the blinds to see—

Your mom was making it up towards the front door, rustling with her keys in her purse. And the last thing he sees before he turns around to face you is her pushing the keys through the lock.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” he cusses, finding his boxers off of the floor, hopping on one foot with his cum & slick coated dick flapping around and slapping against his thighs unceremoniously as he tries to get one leg in through them and then the other. You’re trembling as you hook your panties back into place, pull your shirt back down your torso, and even in his extremely panicked state, he’s still sad he can’t freely stare at your tits anymore. You’re rummaging for your skirt in a haste, looking everywhere for it, and he finds it underneath the coffee table before tossing it to you and then he side-to-side hops towards the coat closet while he pulls his sweatpants up over his ass, in time for you to quickly run and shut the door of the closet closed just before the front door of the house swings open.

The inside of the coat closet is dark, barely enough space in there for a six-foot-four two-hundred-and-twenty pound man, but it’s better than being balls deep inside his boss’s daughter on the couch when said boss just came home from work.

He hears conversation on the other side of the door, albeit muffled, and he presses his ear to it to hear better while he tucks his dick into his boxers from where it was hanging over the waistline.

“Mom! You…you’re home so early,” he hears you squeak out.

“Yes,” your mom says, “The rest of my meetings today are online, so I figured I’d come home when there’s less traffic.”

Gojo feels you lean against the coat closet door.

“I see, I see, how was your day at work?” you ask with a tremble in your voice.

“Fine.” And then nothing. The silence could mean that was all she had to say, since your mom wasn’t really a woman of many words, or it could be a silence that means she’s suspicious about something. “Darling, why is your skirt flipped up and tucked into your panties? Your whole butt is showing.”

Through the wood of the door, he hears you softly gasp. “Oh, um, I just went to pee. Must’ve—…must’ve got caught when I pulled it back up.” 

“I see,” your mother says, and Gojo can hear her dropping her heels down near the shoe rack at the entrance. “You know, I really don’t like those short skirts you wear often. Maybe it’s just your generation, but I think it looks tacky and cheap.”

“Mom,” you say, in as stern of a voice as you can manage without sounding embarrassed.

Your mother sighs. “In any case, where is Satoru? I still would like him to go pick up Yuuji. I don’t have the patience to sit in preschool & daycare traffic right now.”

“Oh gosh, I don’t know,” you chirp, and then he hears you let out a small oh no before you lean even more weight against the door, this time somewhere lower, and he realizes you’re pressing your ass against it. His eyes narrow with a small frown, and then he realizes— his cum must still be trickling down your thighs. You couldn’t put your panties on fast enough. 

Shit. That’s hot. A little fucked up, but hot. He feels his dick harden against the fabric of his boxers, and he rests his forehead against the door, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat as he slips his hands down his sweatpants and then gives his cock a firm squeeze. The thought of you discretely swiping his cum up your inner thigh and smearing it against your thin panties so your mom doesn’t catch sight of it dripping down your legs has him slowly working up to a rock-solid erection, and he almost lets out a broken grunt from the feeling.

“What?” your mother says, “what do you mean you don’t know?”

“I’ve just been watching TV this whole time,” you say, “last time I saw him…he was…um, in the backyard pulling weeds?”

He lets out a small scoff through his nose at your cover-up. Cute. And not bad. 

Your mother sighs loudly, and he glances down at the strained veins on his dick as he tugs it through his hand, the tip rearing and appearing flushed and dripping with precum. God, you were just on the other side of this door. Less than a few inches away, and he’d be inside of you. 

“I’m going to take a shower. Go find him and tell him to pick up Yuuji soon. But before then, change into something less revealing,” your mother says in a more or less detached tone, and he can hear the stomps of her footsteps up the stairs from above him in the coat closet.

The two of you wait at least a solid minute, and just when the coast is clear, he hears you turn the knob of the coat closet and slowly crack it open.

“Okay, I think she’s in the shower, I hear the water running,” you whisper at him, “you can go now—” You glance down towards his groin, your jaw dropping. “What—…Satoru, why the fuck is your dick staring at me right now?!” you whisper-hiss at him.

He pulls you into the coat closet, pushing your front against the door to where it clicks shut, and you gasp when his hands pin your wrists crossed behind your back and his dick presses into the plush of your ass.

“You talkin’ to your mom while your pussy’s stuffed full of my cum was the single hottest thing that’s ever grazed my lizard brain,” he tells you, flipping your skirt up and hooking your panties to the side, his index finger briefly brushing against your entrance to find it still leaking from the way your walls were pulsating from his words. And then he aligns his tip to your entrance. “Now keep quiet while I do this, ‘kay?”

“Oh—” you gasp, your cheek pressed against the door as you arch your back and push your ass out for him, “okay—” you say, barely vocalizing the first syllable before he’s already stuffing himself inside of you with one solid glide of a push, making you yelp loudly and he has to instantly cup a hand over your mouth.

“Shhhhhh,” he hisses at you, immediately starting to pound you from behind, “told you to— fuuuck,” he catches sight of his length covered with a mix of your glassy arousal and his white cum, now starting to cream at the base of his cock, “jesus christ—” he breathes out, squeezing the flesh of your ass harshly with his other hand and you let out another yelp, “I told you to fuckin’ keep quiet.”

“I’m—mff,” you muffle against his palm, “I’m trying but,” your hips move back in time with his, “feels good, feels too good,” you mewl, and his hand desperately yanks up the fabric of your shirt so he can squeeze at your breast.

“Yeah?” he grunts, hypocritical for telling you to keep it down when he was slamming his hips against your ass with so much fervor he wouldn’t be surprised if the sound was reverberating across the entire house, “you like it when I fuck you while your mom’s all clueless just up the stairs?” His rhythm falters, feeling his release building, and his hand reaches in front of you to rub your clit, making you drop your head against the door with tightly closed eyes. “Gets— you—wet, doesn’t it?” he torments you, his lips near your ear as he slams his hips against you harshly with every enunciated syllable. 

“Mhm, mhm,” you easily agree, or maybe that’s because it’s all you can really articulate, and he angles his hips up so his balls slap more fervently against your clit, making you scream into his palm while he picks up the pace of the circles he draws on your clit and in one, two, three— beats of his pounding heart, he feels you come undone around his cock, gushing wetness leaking out of you, he can feel the mess of fluids splattering on the skin of his thighs due to each of his heaving thrusts as he cusses out a fuuuuuuckkk before spilling his cum inside of you, a short-lived and thicker release this time that has you mewling from overstimulation, and in a few following thrusts, he’s given you everything he had to give.

His eyes open, he wasn’t even aware he had shut them in the first place, and he glances down at where the two of you were joined. Rings of arousal coat the length of his half-pulled-out dick, and the second he retreats all of it, a bulging push of his cum seeps out of you, dripping and pooling all over the hardwood floors.

“Holy shit, I wish I could take a picture of this,” he says, taking a step away to commit the sight to memory, your legs trembling and still slightly spread, ass pushed out and when you wiggle it a little, he lets out a huff of an exhale because he just can’t believe how sexy you are. Are all college girls like this? He’s never been to college, his old man’s been trying to get him to go for years, but maybe this is what finally convinces him.

“No pics,” you breathe out once you catch your breath, standing up straight slowly, “that’s my one sex rule.”

He takes a step closer to you, flipping your skirt back over your ass while you shimmy your shirt down to cover your chest. “That’s the only rule you have? Anything else goes?” he asks.

You spin around to face him, his eyes briefly flitting down to the still exposed skin of your midriff. “I have a feeling I’d be making up more specific rules if it was with you.”

He smiles, his hands grabbing your hips before pressing you up against the door again. “I also had a rule. It was to not fuck you. Wait, no, to not flirt with you. Which, technically, I didn’t do.”

You blink your eyes at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

“What?” he asks, genuinely confused, “I didn’t.”

“Huh—” you scoff, “how do you think we got into this situation in the first place?? You didn’t just say wanna fuck? You were insufferably flirty with me.”

“Nahhh nah nah nah nah, baby, that’s not flirting,” he tells you, thumb running circles over your hips, “that’s, like—…I don’t even fuckin’ know how it worked on you to be honest, I was just being stupid.”

“Oh okay so I’m stupid.”

“I never said you were stupid?”

“Well you said you were being stupid so me falling for it must mean I’m stupid.”

“Pshhh. You’re cute. Pulling weeds, by the way? Adorable.”

Your hand slowly roams up the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching at your wrists until you uncovered up to his collar bone, and you stare at his skin. He tries to not let the way his heart’s beating faster show through the heave of his chest. 

“Why do you have all these scars, anyway?” you whisper to him.   

“Too many girls tryna stab me,” he tells you.

You roll your eyes. “Seriously.” Your thumb traces the one you had left on him. 

“I—” He stops himself.

Does he tell you? Should he tell you? What, just because he’s seen you naked and you took his dick like a queen he’s supposed to open up to you about these things now? He doesn’t know. Maybe he could? Maybe you already suspect what he does at night. And if not, at the very least, I’m an underground boxer might make you think he’s hot? At the very worst, you’ll report him to the cops and he’d get fired as your little brother’s babysitter then thrown into jail, but not before the busted cartel gets him first.

“Maybe I’ll tell you some other time,” he says, his hand wrapping around your wrist and pulling it from his chest, “no hyper personal details until you’ve had my dick in your mouth at least once or twice. That’s my one rule.”

You snort. “I could’ve guessed that rule from a mile away.”

He hums. And then there’s the sound of steps creaking down the stairs above the two of you.

You both make eye contact, eyes widening, internally yelling at each other: how the fuck did we get into this situation twice?!

This time, Gojo opens the door and stumbles out of the closet, leaving you inside of it, just in time for your mom to come down the stairs.

“Satoru. I was looking for you,” she says as she rounds the post. “Have you picked up Yuuji? He has to go for his swimming lessons soon.”

“Ah, nope, was just about to head out,” he says, letting out a cough to diffuse tension, “sorry, I was—” he points his thumb over his shoulder to behind him, “…pulling out some gnarly weeds.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “I see. Well, thanks. If you want, I can add a gardening stipend to your paycheck. Let me know.” And he’s not sure how to respond because he’s not sure if she’s joking. 

He heads out the door, the keys to your mom’s minivan in his palm as he throws them up into the air and catches them a couple times. And just before he gets inside the car, he turns on his heel to face the house and pulls his phone out of his pocket to type in a message for you.

3:22pm Gojo Satoru: Send over those me-specific sex rules soon

.

.

.

[the end]

a/n. hope u enjoyed im shitting bricks posting this bc i haven't posted a oneshot smut since february but thanks so much for reading i appreciate u!! i got way too invested in the whole underground boxer thing 😂😂 but the fact i managed to keep everything under 12k is an accomplishment to me bc if u read my other fics you know i’m a yapper LOL i have another kind of a similarly written smut oneshot n it’s a lil angsty (totally different au tho) i’ll probs post that one next but yea i really like, hmm, i really like exploring entire characters within a short amount of time i enjoy writing the obscure lore drops xd it’s been kinda fun so far anywho much loveee hope to see u around! <3

➸ masterlist

taglist:

@joemama-2 @erencvlt @pickuptruck01 @hanakotateyama @nuronhe

@beabadobeee @air3922 @timetoletmyimaginationfly @chiyokoemilia @jotarohat

@sirencholia @sorcerersseestars @horisdope @to-dabi @staoru

@aliidarling @ninjaturtletoes @lavender-hvze @lanadelreylover11 @chckn-pi

@satoryaa @gojodickbig @v4mpieres @reinam00n @sleepyyammy

@haikomaiko @tbzzluvr @myahfig4 @arabelluhhh4200 @bloopsstuff

@nat-the-gayass-down-bad-mf @badbclub @blackunecorn @geniejunn @n0tviv

@verystrawberryhottub @iheartshopping @peonysfordayz @dreamsxmerci @aishies-stuff

@milkm4nz @athinasaurus @sashisuslover @welldamnsatoru @aeriiixhh

@crystalymin @dcvilxswish @miakxn @satxoru

[dragondemoness]

Haha~ let's go with a ADHD male reader who likes Stimming with their Lovers hair with Tenko, Aoi, Junko, Hiyoko, Mikan, Celestia and Maki

Rawr

Tenko, Aoi, Junko, Hiyoko, Mikan, Celestia and Maki With an S/O Who Likes to Stim With Their Hair

Tenko Chabashira 

She finds it so adorable

She'll let you play with her hair anytime you want

You can take it down, style it, braid it, she's open to anything

She'll also take out her hair accessory thing and let you play with it if you want

While you're hanging out in your or her room, and you're braiding her hair, she leans back and looks up at you with an adorable grin

Then you'll share a nice kiss~

Then you'll get back to braiding her hair

She finds your stims adorable, and if you want, she'll play with your hair as well

Even style it if you were okay with it

Aoi Asahina 

She finds it adorable

You rarely see her with her hair down, but she will do it more often if it makes you happy

She'll let you style it however you want, she's open to anything

Her favorite is braiding

She thinks it’s so pretty

She tries every style at least once, but a long braid is her absolute favorite

And if you want, she’ll play with yours

Your hair is soft, and she loves it

Junko Enoshima 

She’s not a fan of people touching or playing with her hair, but she’ll make an exception for you

She’ll wear it down so you can play with it

You think she looks beautiful with her hair down, and it makes her happy

She finds that having your fingers through her hair is very soothing and she loves it

You can style her hair if you want, but she’s picky about how you do it

Be prepared for some stern, but loving criticisms from her

But anyway, Junko thinks you’re absolutely adorable

She loves playfully teasing you while gushing over your cuteness

And she definitely wants to style your hair as well

Quid pro quo, if you will

And she’s the Ultimate Fashionista, so she knows how to style hair pretty well

She’ll encourage you to take her advice for when you style her hair next time, but she still loves you <3

Hiyoko Saionji 

She’s also not a fan of having her hair played with

Only she can touch her magnificent, banana-esque pigtails

But she will begrudgingly allow you to play with them

Mostly when they’re in pigtails, though

She wouldn’t take her hair down unless you really, really asked begged her to

And maybe gave her some gummy bears

But anyway, her hair is very, very soft

And she’s picky about how you style it

But she has to admit, having your hands in her hair feels amazing

Sometimes, she’ll come to you on her own and ask you to play with her hair

She won’t admit it out loud, though

She’ll still act bratty about it sometimes

But she’ll still enjoy her time with you with a smile~

Mikan Tsumiki 

Given how uneven it is, Mikan is insecure about her hair

She has considered cutting it all short before

But if playing with it makes you happy, she will gladly keep it long

She absolutely adores the feeling of you running your fingers through her hair

It makes her blush and giggle

You playing with her hair becomes one of her favorite methods of affection

She feels like she doesn’t deserve such affection, but she does grow to crave it

And she loves when you style it as well

Anything to make her hair feel pretty

Whether you braid it, put it in a ponytail, or however you do it, she loves it

It makes her feel better about how uneven her hair is

So anyway, she absolutely loves it when you play with or style her hair

It makes her love for you grow stronger

Celestia Ludenburg goddammit

Now she’s definitely not a fan of anyone touching her drills

Anyone who tries, she will threaten to cut off their arm and feed it to her cat

And she might actually do so-

But for you, her darling s/o, she will make an exception

Knowing you want to play with her hair makes her happy, in fact

She will ask you to be careful not to pull too hard, but other than that, you’re free to do what you will

Like Junko, she will be honest about how you made it look, but will be as gentle about it

She doesn’t wanna hurt your feelings, after all

She does enjoy it, though

She never thought such a simple thing could feel so amazing

But she’ll often drink her tea and smile while you work on her hair

It’s one of her favorite moments with you

Maki Harukawa 

She’s never had anyone play with her hair like this, but she’s willing to try it for you

It felt nicer than she expected

She feels weird having her hair down unless it’s nighttime, but she will take it down to let you play with it

It’s very soft and silky, by the way

When you point this out, it makes her blush and hide her face in your chest

Speaking of, she loves letting you do this while cuddling too

It’s one of her most vulnerable moments, where the both of you are indulging in each other’s comfort

Maki loves these moments more than anything

Only you can share these moments with her

But overall, although she found it odd at first, Maki is more than willing to indulge in your stims

[ask-the-observatory-gang]

==> INTRODUCTION POST <==

Meet all the guys that you can ask questions, and who will be role-playing them in responses!

(All copy pasted from discord, everything under cut!)

Violet(Vi, V):

-Draws well (I had to)

-Adhd, maybe autism, CHEWS AND GNAWS ON EVERYTHING

-Actually wears her glasses

-Very silly, acts like normal V but sometimes actually genuinely happy and nice

-Totally isn’t the cause behind the bite marks on the landing pod chairs

-Aroace & lesbian flag

-Does the Dino arm thing

-Basically just a fucking cat (purrs, meows, and all that jazz)

-A broken headlight cause yummy yummy (same with crack in tail Vial and screen)

-Acts like a silly cat

-Most of the time unaware of surroundings

-She/her

==> @conniewoof

:!Stars intro!:

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- half snow leopard (somehow)

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- slightly talker than the average drone

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- workaholic

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- thinks her scars r cool

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- their pawpads and ear stars r rlly squishy :3 and if u squish her ear stars they make a squeak sound GEHE

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- she's practically a nightlight coz of how glowy they are.. but whenever she goes to sleep they stop glowing lolz

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- rlly likes bugs and studys them nonstop

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- loves analog horror n scary stuff in general,, they just find the concept of it all rlly interesting

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- gets distracted by anything cats would💀

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- rlly likes video games and can defo kick ass in them

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- has a scary ass zombie drone/solver form

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- her nose twitches when she cries shrug emoji

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ -- her tail (elliot) is actually pretty sentient, meaning he can communicate with beeps and boops (even though star can only understand them clearly)

==> @strbrypancakesxd

《☆ Nathan ☆》

<-- ADHD -->

☆▪︎▪︎ Pansexual, Transmasc ▪︎▪︎☆

==> This little man PURRS. He is a dog at heart but he PURRS.(his favorite thing to do)

==> Hehe silly feathered wings(that could still kill a man)

==> Would unironically bark at someone if they annoyed him somehow

==> Is the sweetest guy but oh my goodness does he hold a grudge

==> "Haha oh biscuts that knife right by my heart really hurts- Do you want that back?"

==> PUZZLES. Do not give this man a puzzle he will try to solve it for the next week and no-one will see him

==> Took the nanite acid out of his tail at one point(it hurt like a bitch) and now has a empty stinger as a tail tip instead

==> OBSESSED with keeping his wings clean and nice looking, he literally will put aside any other responsibilities until they're perfect

Silly little Alaskan Malamute inspired guy :3

==> @staruzi002

❦ Revel ❦

❦ Pansexual lil guy

❦ Has a weird hyperfixation on ducks, specifically lil tiny yellow ones and really loves to make random duck comments to fill a conversation.

❦ Anything that might be yellow is going to be gone in approximately 5 seconds of him spotting it

❦ Outgoing with a passion for fashion (OUJI-) and design, has a bit of sass if you by chance try to question his fashion choices. He also uses "girl" and "sis" unironically

❦ Usually passes away at the slightest compliment and will ascend with his wings into the stratosphere to hide himself

❦ Ribbons. Ribbons are the best.

❦ Don't give him any bells or things that squeak, he will indefinitely be playing with them until they break somehow and he'll go into sad lil guy mode for a week on average

❦ “Autobots! Roll out!” *rolls down an ongoing avalanche*

❦ Deathly afraid of spiders but will disintegrate an entire colony

==> @bonkadonkss

☆▪︎▪︎☆

In a mysterious alternate version of Copper-9, this fun little group all met eachother! And now they're here to answer your questions!

So ask away folks!

☆▪︎▪︎☆

RULES --

- No NSFW. For the love of God please none.

- Be nice to the sillies(and the roleplayers) we're just here to have fun!

- These are characters that are from an active rp server, so things might change about them as we go!

- Expect text for most of the answers(unless whoevers answering feels up to doing a doodle), that'll be how they're put most of the time!

[1d1195]

I'm glad your weekend wasn’t horrible! Though please take some time to recharge! While nothing too bad may have happened, it can still be a lot of being around people! Cleaning is oddly relaxing for me too lol. What are you most excited to cook on your list of recipes?

I used to LOVE project runway when i was younger! Tbh I think I just loved any show that involved creating something like baking,cooking, and even home renovation stuff lol But ngl reality tv shows about dating/love stuff  is something that I can’t get into lol But I can see how you are more drawn towards scripted stuff though and I get it!

Kids are crazy! Sometimes it is wild how they cannot simply be kind or even understanding of others. I didn’t personally suffer from bullying but that doesn’t mean literally interacting with kids my age was easy. Anyways I'm sure giving them reminders is helping even if they may not appreciate it at the moment! Though I get that it can be so annoying because you're kind and it comes naturally to you!

That’s so sweet! And you’re so right about nicknames! Though I am never bold enough to give someone a nickname or use one unless they tell me too lol and yeah I dislike the brand for more reasons other than that obviously but my inner child loves holding grudge lol 

I LOVE when people give context or just share details lol im the same way too! Once I get on a topic I feel strongly for and/or once I'm comfortable with someone I YAP AWAY! But lowkey I miss silly little filler chapters in general! They remind me a lot of my early wattpad days when I was 12 HAHA But yes I do agree filler episodes are so underappreciated now! Especially how most shows don’t even go beyond 10 episodes per season now which I find kind of sad! 

Both of my classes meet twice a week, but both are 3 hours long :( And they both are live zoom sessions so that means that there is no recording happening. Which I totally get but 3 hours is alot 😭But you're right it is so much info 😭 Yeah lowkey my therapist said it wasn’t a good idea to do two summer sessions back to back but I need to graduate on time lol Also how is teaching summer classes goin? Are you almost done?

ALSO I CAN’T BELIEVE IT”S BEEN A YEAR SINCE PROTECTION😭

Hope you can get some rest and have a very calm rest of the week! You don’t have to thank me! Seriously talking to you is never a bother and I enjoy it so much! THANK YOU for constantly giving such thoughtful responses to not only me but everyone you interact with💗Wishing you to have the BEST week bestie!! Love you lots!-💜

My dumb son invited his friend over to stay with us for a couple days so now I'm hiding in my room. I have to pretend to be social and shit and it's the worst. I've barely recovered from my fam. I just want to be quiet and alone by myself 😭😭 No but tbh it's fine. I'm just dramatic. Cleaning was REALLY good actually. I've been trying to do some much needed stuff (like washing walls and baseboards. Very adult stuff lol) Maybe I'll do some more organizing and shit while his friend is here so I can hide and whatnot.

I made this ravioli dish that was really good. It was sort of alfredo-y and had spinach and sundried tomatoes. Honestly? I'm most excited to make these roasted veggies lol. Potatoes, carrots, zucchini hehehe

I liked the first few seasons of project runway but the premise got away from me (and the writers I think). I wish I got more into cooking shows. I do have a serious soft spot for Cake Boss tho 😂

I have this one student who said to me "she never gives up on me" and it honestly kind of melted my heart. She's a TOUGH kid. Like I'm lowkey afraid of her 😭😭 I'm glad she likes me because she's kinda cuckoo 🤣🤣 She has these massive angry blowups, not necessarily her fault because of mental health and undiagnosed ADHD but she doesn't always make the best decisions either. For some reason she listens to me. So I keep trying to help her even though she makes me INSANE. But the point of that was she's a mean girl tbh she struggles to stay out of drama (sometimes not her fault, but many times it is) anyway. She's a lot, can't wait for her to graduate.

An inner child grudge is like no other. I love it tbh. I have a grudge. My mom told me at like age 6 we hate Bank of America and I refuse to set foot in there lol so I totally get disliking the brand.

I can't say I'm surprised, we do send each other lengthy messages 😭 it would be a TIME if we met in person hahahahahaha we wouldn't stop talking for ages. It's CRAZY how there are no filler episodes and the seasons are SO short. So so so crazy.

OMG T W E L V E HOURS of zoom a week. That's so so long. I hope they give breaks. Honestly, this is going to sound super weird, but I think it's pretty cool that you didn't listen to your therapist about this. It's fairly low-stake and it's a lot but you have really good intentions of getting your classes done on time so you can be DONE and graduate. One of the things I'm worried about starting therapy is that I'll want to do it perfectly and I'll want my therapist to think I'm the best lol (can you tell I need it?) so I feel like I would be obligated to do EVERYTHING she tells me to (I want a she because I hate men most of the time lol) and I would overwhelm myself with that if that makes sense. So it's refreshing to know you don't have to listen to her; at least in this instant. Hopefully that all makes sense

One more week of summer school. They're going well. I'm worried some kids aren't going to pass. We offer some classes online and I'm concerned they aren't going to finish/pass. Which is so irritating. Because like, why show up for a month if you're not going to pass? I know there's deeper issues and more to it, but still. We make it PRETTY easy to pass...

I KNOW A WHOLE YEAR. IT'S LIKE OUR ANNIVERSARY TOO 😭😭💕

Hope your week gets easier too LOVE YOU

xoxo

[stars-tonight]

hello! This is my first time ever requesting a matchup so I hope I’m doing this right!

May I have a pre time skip Character with a romantic match up?

My ideal partner is someone who is very patient with me, as well as someone who can be protective over me. I also like someone who can be silly with me! I also like someone who can be romantically cheesy (if that makes sense haha). I also like Someone who doesn’t mind taking care of me and who is loyal

(preferably a male character)

My pronouns are she/her, I’m a mixture of a golden retriever girl as well as a black cat girl. At first I’m really quiet and shy but when I warm up to someone I get very happy to see them and joke around and yap a lot with them! I do have ADHD which causes me to disassociate most of the time. I’m mostly introverted but on rare occasions I can be outgoing

Things I enjoy doing with a partner or friends is playing video games for hours on end, not really caring about winning, just having a good time with them is all that matters to me. I also love to cosplay so being able to do that with others is always so fun for me. I always enjoy being lazy or even just napping

My love language (giving) is quality time as well as gift giving!

My receiving love language is, quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation!

My ideal date is just to be able to spend time with the other person, as well as getting to know them more on a personal level, nothing too fancy, maybe just taking a walk through nature or just spending time at home!

headcanons

🥛 do you see how hinata defends himself on the show??

🥛 boy is fearless

🥛 literally stands up to ushijima

🥛 will go after anyone who made you upset

🥛 hinata's also definitely silly and can be a cheesy romantic

🥛 let's be honest he's so in love with you he would never even think about cheating

🥛 hinata's a golden retriever inside and out, but he's dealt with black cats like kageyama before

🥛 would definitely try to get you out of your shell

🥛 sometimes drags you into social situations

🥛 he doesn't seem like the type to get worked up in an upset way

🥛 he gets energized very easily but not upset

🥛 so he's also very patient with you

🥛 he doesn't know much about adhd but i can bet you he's staying up until midnight reading articles about it to try to understand you better

🥛 hinata often plays video games with kenma

🥛 he always loses when he plays kenma so he's glad that it's actually a fair match between you two

🥛 unless you're very good at video games and win all the time

🥛 in which case he'd probably get a little pouty

🥛 you'd have to cheer him up

🥛 he's just a little competitive lol

🥛 definitely seems like the type to enjoy cosplay

🥛 he doesn't have much experience with it at all but will admire you any time you cosplay a new character

🥛 definitely takes pictures of you

🥛 it's honestly hard for him to tone down the energy and nap

🥛 but sometimes when he comes home from practice he's just so exhausted

🥛 (especially because he stayed back for an extra hour to practice)

🥛 so sometimes he'll just walk through the door and flop onto the couch

🥛 you'll have to drag him off of the couch and into the shower

🥛 (he'll be leaning on you the whole time; hopefully you don't mind a bit of sweat)

🥛 after a shower he'll hop into bed and just be knocked out

🥛 almost all of his free time is either spent playing volleyball or hanging out with you

🥛 i don't believe he went to college, so he's got extra time on his hands when that time comes around

🥛 he's also a big words of affirmation guy

🥛 praising others comes very naturally to him and of course it's so easy to compliment you because he loves you so much

🥛 he definitely holds your hand all the time

🥛 doesn't strike me as the type to necessarily shy away from pda

🥛 pre-timeskip, if tsukishima or kageyama ever said something about it, hinata would just laugh and tease them for being "jealous"

🥛 after all, they're sad and lonely while he has you!

runner up for you was haiba lev!

A/N: there you go, i hope you liked it! i wasn't sure if you wanted a long or short matchup so i just gave you a long one lol, i hope you don't mind :)

[wickymicky]

is it bad or wrong to think that yoohyeon might have adhd? like idk it’s probably not great to headcanon things like that about a real person, idk... but... i kinda think she might and that just makes me happy and makes me feel good about myself so idk. im not actually gonna like ask her or believe that it’s true, i’m just gonna notice little things she does that i also do, and smile about those things. 

[thegingeralien]

Someone on a facebook group asked for people to give them dot points about how ADHD affects you so they could compile a list of things that affects them that they know are ADHD things for when they go get diagnosed. Or with the potential of realising their symptoms aren’t extreme enough to have ADHD. My list ended up being extremely long (longer than I intended) so I thought I might also post it here so that it may help anyone else thinking of getting a diagnosis.

When I went to my psychiatrist, I didn’t know I was going in for an ADHD diagnosis, but my Mum had told me to write down all the ways I feel hyperactive without physically looking hyperactive, and then when I was in there she said to him that she thinks I have ADHD. I gave him my list and he still talks about how he loved that and how helpful it was. SO maybe this might help all the baby ADHDs looking for a sign to go get tested!

- Rejection Sensitivity (This is the thing I struggle with the most with ADHD)

- Emotion disregulation

- Inability to force myself to do ANYTHING

- Changing positions while sitting constantly (I’m a lesbian, and I thought it was just because gays meme-ly can’t sit still, but I’m annoying to gays how often I change position and wriggle)

- Constantly chewing or making repetitive motions

- I get angry when my movement is restricted - like if someone is cuddling me or hugging me. But I have no problem cuddling someone myself.

- Constantly snacking or drinking

- I keep my hands busy so I can process thoughts, sights and sounds

- I have little control over the volume of my voice or strength sometimes

- Constantly feel like everyone else has been given a class in being an adult or being in general that I missed out on

- Constantly clenching muscles or cracking my knuckles in my toes or fingers.

- Making odd sounds or singing - especially when I no longer want to talk anymore, but someone is still talking to me. I’ll just start singing

- Unable to enjoy sights or sounds for too long without wanting to keep moving - like at art galleries or concerts. I love concerts, especially festivals. And I always thought I was uncultured or didn’t like someone enough when I just wanted to keep moving and see what else there was to do. But I’m just an ADHD bunny.

- Doodling or drawing in order to hear something better.

- Excessive talking and inability to filter out possibly rude things.

- Feeling burnt out

- I need to recharge after doing anything outside in public, even if it was only going to the shops quickly

- Sitting ‘properly’ in a chair is torture

- Being constantly late, no matter how early I get up. - Unless my partner comes too, and then we are generally early and that gives me anxiety hahaha

- Conversations with more than one person at a time are hell - this is especially a problem at my partner’s house because they all constantly talk over one another.

- Forgetting my pin - even though it’s been my pin for YEARS

- Needing to mentally prepare myself for house to go to the shops or to an appointment

- Having a hard time switching what I’m doing. (Work and talking online or helping someone else - I always just say my GPS is rerouting and that’s why it’s taking me so long to switch activities haha)

- When I’m reading, I have to re-read lines over and over again if my mind wanders or if I just can’t concentrate.

- I either clean the entire house or don’t clean anything - there is no in between.

- Never feeling rested, even after sleeping in or taking breaks.

- Forgetting what I want to say, even if I’ve rehearsed it - like at University or ordering food.

- Brain fog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please feel free to add your own in the comments. You can repeat what I’ve said, or add your own. You might help someone who is looking to compile their own list or just see if they might have ADHD for their own piece of mind. Symptom lists online can often be inacurate or too stereotypical for most people. So this is a bit more of an inside view of the reality of having ADHD.

[aethersea]

you know what, I never do these things, but actually I’ve decided I would like to get to know people better! I would like to partake of the mortifying ordeal! I would like to talk about myself for a bit!

ok for the next...let’s say five days I will answer any of these things that people tag me in, or any random personal questions you plop in my ask box. I don’t have an ask meme on hand but just....pick one you’ve seen recently, or make up questions of your own, and I’ll answer. (the answer might be ‘nope that’s private’ but I will answer.) (@ the anon who asked for book recs - I see you, I’ve been thinking of books all day, I’m going to give you SUCH a long answer, I hope you don’t regret your choices bc it WILL be full of gushing)

alright, let’s go!

🌻 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @booksandchainmail​

Last Song: I’m currently listening to “Falcon in the Dive” from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical on loop. I watched one or two Scarlet Pimpernel movies when I was just barely too young to fully get what was going on, and the story’s held an odd but deep-seated place in my heart ever since. A few years ago I found out there’s a musical and most of the songs are pretty stellar (go listen to “Madame Guillotine” if you like big ensemble broadway numbers, it’s a banger, the bit where he cries out for God has been running through my mind on and off for a few days now haha not like that’s topical or anything), so every once in a while I spend a few days listening to them a lot.

Sometime last year I read the actual book, and got super into the whole concept of the Scarlet Pimpernel for a while. I plotted out Pimpernel aus for several fandoms, I read the entire wikipedia article, and I went looking for bootlegs of the musical. I didn’t find one, but I did find a full radioplay-style recording of the script, complete with full musical numbers, and listened to it like a podcast.

Reader, I was so disappointed. The play adds some scenes, bc a lot of the dramatic tension of the novel comes from internal conflict and that doesn’t stage super well, and the very first scene of this play – a play written in the NINETIES – features our dashing hero rescuing some aristocrats from a French prison, and then saying to the person in the next cell, who begs for rescue but is not an aristocrat, “We have enough of your kind in England.”

Enough! of your KIND! What in the merry frickety HECK my dudes!! The book has some rather unfortunate™ takes but it is from 1905, it’s regrettable but sadly to be expected. This play is from 1997. It has NO excuse. This scene wasn’t even in the book! What! the heck!

I was so disheartened that I lost my excitement for the play, and a couple songs later I stopped listening. It occurred to me just a few days ago that you could actually stage that ironically, with the person in the cell giving the audience a “can you believe this” look, and then the rest of the play could feature assorted non-aristocratic ensemble members constantly looking at the audience like they’re on The Office. And hey, maybe that’s what they did, or something similar – maybe that was never meant to be taken as a cleanly heroic stance, and the play deals with it in a complex way. It’s possible. I wouldn’t know. Kinda doubt it though, based on song lyrics.

Favorite Color: red, probably

Last Movie: I watched that new lesbian christmas movie with my family for christmas, the one with kirsten stewart and the guy from schitt’s creek. it’s very sweet and good and kinda sad, and I really enjoyed it. it also incidentally has the best gay best friend trope in probably anything ever, bc it’s not a trope (I didn’t realize until several hours after watching that it technically fits), it’s just a guy who is the protagonist’s best friend, and they’re just all gay, and then when he Gives Relationship Advice as a gay best friend always does, it’s advice about how to deal with your partner’s hangups around coming out.

actually every part of the gay best friend trope becomes better when they’re just best friends who are both gay. the big dramatic gestures (in this case, driving some ungodly distance in the snow on no notice) go from “haha how kooky” to “queer man will do anything he needs to to rescue his queer friend from an isolating & potentially triggering situation”. the relationship advice isn’t “honey you deserve some self-respect, treat yourself”, it’s a deeply sincere reminder of the vulnerability that is shared across almost everyone’s queer experience, and look I could ramble about this for a long time before reaching a coherent point but I’m INTO IT, okay? I’m into it.

Last Show: you want me to remember what show I last finished???? impossible, cannot be done, it was a long time ago and the adhd has eaten everything that happened before last week. here, instead I’ll tell you about another movie I watched, late at night with my mom in cozy companionship just a couple days ago. it’s called Quigley Down Under and it’s about a cowboy who goes to Australia and kills a bunch of racists, 10/10 would watch again. it’s from 1990 but it feels much older, with the music choices and the cinematography of a 70s Western. the cowboy is great, honorable and fearless and kind, but the breakaway star of this movie for me is the woman who attaches herself to his side and refuses to leave. her name is Cora, and she’s crazy, in the sense that she’s not altogether tethered to reality, but this never for a second diminishes her agency. she’s fierce and clever and compassionate, and she basically never does anything she doesn’t want to in the whole movie. her arc is about overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own fear and facing it head-on, she is never belittled or dismissed by the narrative or the protagonist, and look she’s just so cool. I love her. she’s so vibrantly alive. her story could probably have been handled with a bit more nuance, but honestly for the 90s it’s pretty great. I’m no expert, but I found nothing objectionable in it, just a bit of heavy-handedness.

anyway the theme of the movie is that racism is evil and racists deserve to be shot, and this too could have been handled better (not a single aboriginal character speaks a single line of english in this movie), but it follows through on that message in every way, while still being a fun kinda campy cowboy movie. overall a very good time.

Currently Watching: started showing my sister Hilda the other day, and she’s liking it! I love that show, it’s so incredibly cute. can’t wait to see season 2

Currently Reading: lmao I wish. lately the brain has firmly rejected all attempts to read anything of any length. currently pending, bc I was halfway through them when my brain stalled out, are tano’s fic What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too, a Toby Daye book - I think it was The Brightest Fell, I got like half a chapter in and haven’t picked it up in over a month, the Locked Tomb series, and probably a few other things too. ooh! also a book called Making Sex by thomas laqueur, which is my fancy academic reading that I’ve been doing in short bursts for the past year or two when I feel fancy and academic. it’s about the development of the concept of biological sex and of gender in Western society, and it’s fascinating. has among other things introduced me to the idea that until quite recently, fathers were a matter of faith. the mother? yeah, you can watch the baby pop out, we all know who the mother is. but the father? how can you know? how can you really know? we have paternity tests these days, but for all of human history up until now, we've just had to take fatherhood on faith. (not to mention we didn’t even know what fathers were contributing to the production of a fetus. clearly it was something, since you can’t get pregnant without a penis getting involved, but we have literally not known what until the past few decades. and that is wild. it has colored ALL of human history, all of our conceptions of society and family and kinship and gender, all of it, and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it was spelled out for me in this book, and it’s just......wow.

Salty, sweet or savory: for christmas my sister and I made seven different types of cookie, most of them involving chocolate somehow.

Craving: no bc I ate so many cookies. unless sleep counts. or maybe pringles, it’s been many moons since last I had a potato chip and I miss them.

Coffee or Tea: no thank you

Tagging: @coloursisee, @krchy-tuna, @sam-j-squirrel, @xzienne, @mirandatam, @viciousmaukeries, @sepulchritude, @elidyce, and @navigatorsnorth bc it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I’m super hyped that you’re married now. v happy for you!

[lgbtqlegends]

hi i love ur hc they are awesome! could u maybe do like a ray & sara brotp soft friendship kind of thing? thanks!💜💜💜

thank you!! thanks for the ask n hope you enjoy!

-ok so they're both pretty big nerds, sara just usually doesn't like,, outwardly show it as much as ray tends to. they watch ancient aliens together and get so invested in the episodes that they'll lose track of time. they end up using the waverider to try n check a lot of the stuff. it doesn't always work but whenever it does work, if the stuff turns out to be real they're super smug about the knowledge that it's Real and then whenever they come across any skeptics or non-believers, they always end up just smirking like "haha you're w r o n g,,, it is r e a l". they get a kick out of it

-they also 100% take trips back to camelot together bc without the threat of the legion of doom, they can let themselves like,, fully enjoy it (well,, more so sara can enjoy it fully bc ray already enjoyed it fully even with the threat of the legion of doom,, but it's still always a great experience going back to camelot whenever they do

-also sara's S1 or S2 (i forget which) line of "i know science" makes me imagine that sara spends a fair amount of time in the lab with ray,,, at least,, whenever she can,, especially after like,, S1 with snart and kendra gone (bc those were the two she probably spent most time with on the ship when they were there),, so she ends up hanging out with ray more and they become really good buds

-also,,, adhd!sara + autistic!ray and/or autistic!sara + autistic!ray (both of which I've mentioned separately + briefly in a couple hc posts) is a vibe and so I'd imagine they'd kinda bond over that from time to time

-and it's also canon that sara loves supernatural, and ray seems like he'd also be someone who loves supernatural, so the two of them def watch it together n sometimes they're like,,, "alright let's binge watch all of it". they also sometimes get into "heated" (not really heated,, just,, very passionate) debates about which characters are hotter

-since they were both from star city before they were legends, i think sometimes they'd go and visit together like,,, go n see everyone from team arrow n visit all their old favorite places n stuff. one time they run into quentin and he's surprised to see them since they're usually on the waverider. they end up going to that little chinese restaurant that sara and quentin go to sometimes. ray is a little bit awkward (bc he's ray). quentin's a little confused and he thinks they might be dating but he's not sure so he asks and they're both just like "no no,, no,, just friends" (sara) and "nope! just buddies!" (ray). they all laugh it off and continue lunch for a bit until quentin has to get back to work or smth n they have to get back to the waverider

-oh and it's also canon that they go to trivia nights together sometimes, so they do that whenever they can too (and it gives them another chance to visit star city more, so they take it)

-they're also both pretty affectionate people (ray being a little more open with it n sara reserving it for only people she trusts) so there's like,, the casual affection between them like,, hugs and hair ruffles and like,,, light arm punches when they tease each other. like they're just v close friends n maybe even a dash of like,, little brother/big sister relationship (despite ray being older,, it's fine lmao they don't mention it. time travel n all that)

-they're also both very observant n perceptive and they can both kinda tell if the other is having a bad day or just,, isn't feeling great or smth. they don't necessarily like,, bring it up, at least like,, not directly, but they're both There. like,, ray will usually like,, give sara's shoulder a little squeeze or smth like,, in passing or smth,, sara usually will like,, offer to listen if ray wants to talk (abt anything) or she'll like,, reach up n ruffle his hair or smth,,, just little things to let the other know they're there without making each confront anything unless they want to

-oh ok and also like,,, back to the adhd!sara + autistic!ray and/or autistic!sara + autistic!ray,,, whenever it's like,, bad days or days where they're struggling with sensory overload (either one or both of them),, sometimes they'll like,,, chill together in the lab or like in the library or captains office or smth like with the lights turned down. they don't talk or anything bc conversation would be too hard, but it's nice to just chill together in the quiet bc they both understand n that helps a little bit

[rametarin]

Maternal narcissistic abuse involves wasting your attention.

I am convinced that one of the reasons for the epidemic of children diagnosed with ADHD conditions is partly because there’s a phenomenon that resembles ADHD but is in fact something entirely different, distinct and separate.

I was diagnosed with ADD as a child, but I contest the conclusion. The schools wanted me medicated for ADD. My family protested. And looking back, I sincerely didn’t have ADD.

I was mentally and emotionally exhausted because of the way women are allowed to abuse their children, so long as they don’t leave marks.

It’s a subtle form of abuse, but it is abuse. And the results and what it does to a child is similar to actually having ADD/ADHD.

How it works is you exhaust them. You disguise the abuse as boilerplate parental engagement and then just annoy the shit out of them with social convention until they want to disengage from conversing with you.

Then you punish or threaten them for “rudeness”, and that becomes the precursor for holding a grudge. It may manifest later on as a no instead of a yes when they ask permission for something. It may manifest as exacerbating a punishment’s severity or length if the child does anything wrong. It may manifest as deprivation of a privilege they usually enjoy just out of spite. Or, it may result in more “justified harassment” in a venue the parent DOES control.

But whatever it is, it will seem valid, it will seem like a legitimate parenting move that is acceptable, and it will annoy the shit out of the child for no other reason than the satisfaction of a sadistic and selfish parent taking their frustrations in life or entitlement to attention out on their children.

For example, my mother used to get us in the car and drive around. The radio would always be what she wanted to listen to, and we’d always go wherever she wanted to go. And in the car, she’d make small talk. Just, force engagement. And you weren’t allowed things like music players, there were no cell phones, no distractions to passively get in the way of any stray stream of consciousness she had from just blasting into the air like firing a shotgun to invite and “engage” conversation.

And if you just sat there ignoring her or not responding or replying to her, that was an invite for her to stop passively filling the air with the equivalent of verbal diarrhea, and then more DIRECTLY address why you seemed to not be “going with the flow” and engaging with her.

Or she’d accidentally do shit like drive over curbs if you seemed to be sleeping. “Oops! Haha! Accident!” Or find some excuse to hit the brakes and stop really fast just to jar you. Just indirect ways she could claim were, “completely accidental” to antagonize you into paying attention to her.

And when she wanted your undivided attention, she’d just talk to the air about an important topic (to her) and then ask your thoughts. Trying to socially force engagement or for you to commit a faux pas by refusing engagement. If you comply with engagement, she then demands you listen not just to the content, but demand you listen to all of it for the alloted time. There are no shortcuts with her, she wanted you to listen to the WHOLE spiel for however long it took before you could compile it, strip out all the wasted emotional shit she invested, and in essence just drag on the conversation for as long as she possibly could.

She fashioned every single engagement and conversation to take as much time as possible and demand you pay attention to every second of it in order to properly answer whatever question or long winded wind up to the question she could pose. She’d pose questions simply to gauge and bar if you were paying attention, and then feign outrage and tantrum if you didn’t. You could not just answer “sure” or “yes” or minimize your engagement to ignore whatever spiel she was saying. You couldn’t just tune her out, because she structured every nonsense conversation to check how well you were engaging.

And if you weren’t engaged, then out came the hostility and the antagonism and the passive aggression. And if they felt justified enough, out came the tantrums and restrictions and threats.

Another technique was she’d have indirect conversations over the phone with other people. You would be hit with weird random mood shifts and changes from her after she got off the phone with someone. Maybe one of her stupid sisters would do something or feud and piss her off, she’d feel like she wasn’t in control of them, so she’d take that out on people she did control just to “assert dominance.” So suddenly if Aunt Nelly (fake name) called her a dumb bitch, you get informed bed time is now an hour earlier, and unless you’re paying attention, you have no idea why this is happening.

So you start paying attention and listening in on family phone conversations just to understand why the dumb bitch goes on rampages. It won’t change bed times or get those privileges back, but at least you know WHAT set her off. And it’s designed to use negative reinforcement to MAKE you interested in those phone conversations and eavesdrop. But, you aren’t allowed to make it obvious you’re eavesdropping. So it’s an unspoken part.

That gives narcissistic moms the opportunity to start talking about you to other people. So you indirectly get to hear intentions or revealed information of what they’re about to do or their plans for things. Being talked about as if you’re an object or not even there when you’re in the next room over is a normal occurrence.

So as a kid, you spend most of your time dodging your mom trying to waste your time with worthless conversation after conversation. Which are just subtle little methods that she uses to waste your time, dominate your actions and deprive you of autonomy. And all she has to do is talk to you. All she has to do is punish you with social conventions. All she has to do is communicate outlandish bullshit about how you’re rude or drop mention about how you “tell her to shut up” for her friends and adults around you to cheer her on and encourage her to punish you for “being so fresh.” Because adult women/mothers get the benefit of the doubt over some kid on if what they’re saying is true, or not. So the whole god damned fabricated social interaction now gets strangers cheering on her abuse to “put you in your place.”

Even going outside as a kid, she found a way to render ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS, fruitless and JOYLESS. All she had to do, any time I was outside, was stick her head out the door and yell. She’d pretend I wasn’t yelling loud enough, purely to waste my energy and attention and make me repeat myself, and justify coming closer to the house to speak. (This was the time before cell phones.)

So she’d stick her head out the door and want to have a 2-3 minute exchange, every few minutes. Just, the most worthless and pointless engagements and exchanges that amount to ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, and she would not stop doing it. And there’s no force on earth that canmake a woman or mother shut the fuck up and not do this. Forced social engagement is a thing women can weaponize and do it with impunity.

Eventually I just got tired of my thoughts and my enjoyment of nature walks being derailed and just stayed inside. It was less effort and she was less ardent about wanting her eye on me every two minutes if I was sitting inside playing videogames, where I was at her beck and call within a few seconds notice.

Just through the power of “not shutting her fucking mouth” and being able to escalate consequences for my being annoyed at her constant attention devouring, she managed to want me to make the decision to just stay inside the house because being outdoors was POINTLESS. It was less suffering and stress to just stay inside than try and enjoy something just for her to waste my time and any satisfaction I could get from it. So, she got what she wanted while pretending she just wanted to talk about what we were having for supper. For half a fucking hour, off and on again.

And I can guarantee you, this is normal in the homes of many American children, especially young boys of single parent homes. Because everybody already knows boys are not perfect, boys can and do act up, boys do talk back to their mothers, boys can be out of control, boys can be short tempered, boys can be violent if they get to the end of their rope and just can’t fucking stand the premeditated and calculated harassment anymore, because in a man’s mind, doing that is waging war. And if you’re waging war on a person, escalation to violence is guaranteed.

Women do not escalate to violence unless it’s to land a killing blow, and they tend to try and do that indirectly and without open conflict. Such as, through poison, or accidents. But they do wage war on you.

Because boys have almost no credibility and women/mothers, they have as high as that value can go in trust from other people. It’s easy to allow them to not just do this shit, but be congratulated for doing it. Other women will reinforce it.

When you do this to a young man, every whisper they hear around them takes higher priority than, say, thinking about math. If you’ve been abused and persistently trained to let someone else derail your thoughts to pay attention to them, you can’t manage math problems. You get punished and harassed and stuck into hostile situations unless you give whomever wants your attention top priority and learn to just give them control or suffer. If not directly, then indirectly from boredom, after the punishments take away all your stimulation and autonomy. .

When you do this to a young man, they lose the ability to tune other peoples egos out and focusing and shutting out distraction becomes impossible. Especially when mothers abuse this relationship, trying to prioritize their feelings about, say, Jerry fucking Springer by talking along with the show, over you doing your homework.

They suffer academically. They lose the ability to focus. They get agitated and hungry for stimulation. They do anything they can for stimulation that ISN’T just giving everything to their mothers all the fucking time; comic books, video games, anything that can be put down whenever that rancid, selfish bitch decides she needs to devour another 50 seconds of your life in 8 parts over the next 20 minutes, making your life and your ability to engage in anything stop-and-go with her calling the shots.

So once again, women use ambiguity as a method of getting away with abuse and destruction, because unless and until you can prove they’re the reason why something happened, you have to assume their innocence. Narcissistic moms use the subjective like a cudgel to get away with abuse.

And many young men and boys have just internalized that their mothers are free to do this shit, this is just bird brain bitch mom shit, you can no more contest it or be angry about it than you could contest and be angry about the rain or anything else. So they never really question it. That’s just how things are. They accept how things are and that some things cannot be changed or helped, and wanting so is just a waste of energy. Because it’s impossible.

So they won’t even remember all the times their mothers did this sort of socially and interpersonally abusive mom-shit unless they think about it really hard. How their moms would pre-meditate and be difficult about shit, solely to waste their time and energy before they tried to live their lives. Just to set them up to fail, that much harder. Just for the satisfaction of taking it away from them, whether they willingly gave it or were coerced to.

And then we have the mental health and child welfare institutions deciding the problem is purely that all these kids fall under the umbrella of Attention Deficient. When there’s clearly a distinction between those that have had their mental reserves cannibalized by their fat bitches of mothers vs. those with actual attention deficiency problems brought about by brains and genetics.

So it wouldn’t surprise me if there’s a whole population out there that got baked and basted with ADD medication (like antidepressants for kids with abusive parents) solely because it became socially en vogue as a way to avoid the consequences of your child breaking down from being overly psyche-abused.

[ponydoodles]

Mod Masterpost 3

Here’s the further-continued mod list, due to the 10 image tumblr limit!

If they don’t have any social media listed, DO NOT ask for them, they’re not there for a reason!

Click on “Keep Reading!” This post will be updated accordingly!

🎉🎊Hey Hey! I’m Mod Fiesta and I’m here to party!🎊🎉

🎊 I go by any pronouns! My default is often They/Them! 🎉 Mixed 50/50 (Puerto Rican/Norwegian), but I was born and raised in the U.S.! 🎊 I’ve been fixated on the MLP series for about half a year now but I’ve been drawing them since I was 11 or 12! I’m in love with older gen designs these days! 🎉 My favorite ships are RariTwi and MoonTrix (Moondancer x Trixie)! My favorite character is Spike and my close runners are Pinkie Pie, Bubbles, Trixie, Rarity, and MoonDancer. I do have a figurine of an older gen pony though! Her name is Twinkle Bloom <3 🎊 Consistent style?? Who’s That?? 🎉 If you thought I was an once of Neurotypical you’re out of your mind/lh 🎊 My other interests include SCP, TF2, Dead By Daylight, Danganronpa, MineCraft, Spelunky, and even more if you wanted me to read through my entire steam library- 🎉The cat’s name is JuJu :]

🎉🎊I’m so excited to see what lies ahead!🎊🎉

Art Tumblr 🎉 Instagram 🎊 ToyHou.se 🎉 <3

Ponydoodles tag

💕 Hey what’s up gamers!

My name is Furbie or Mod Murmurs! I’m so excited to be here! I’m 20 years old and I just got into mlp one year ago! Ever since, my friends on Ponydoodles have made me feel so loved and welcome. I’m excited to see what being a Ponydoodles artist will have in store for me!

Things about me…

🌸 I LOVE STARCATCHER she is my #1 forever. 💕💞💘💞💕 Starcatcher and Skywishes are my favourite ponies. As for G4, I would have to say Zecora. My biggest ship (after me and starcatcher haha jk… unless?) is FlutterTwiCora! I also like Flutterjack and RariTwi.

🌸 I’d love to start an asmr channel someday!

🌸 I collect furbies! I have 10 at the moment, the loves of my life!

🌸 I love dating sims and hope to one day make my own

🌸 Other interests include : camping, writing music, anime, video games, collecting fairy stuff and Star Wars!

Thank you! I’m happy to be one of your new mods 💖

Art blog 🌸 Regular Blog 🌸 Twitter 🌸 Ponydoodles Tag

💜 hello!! my name’s lily and i am so so so stoked to be on this blog and draw for you guys!!!!! Q_Q

💜 twilight & rainbow are my favorite characters and i ship them a whole lot<3

💜 i have adhd !! i like infodumping :]

💜 aside from loving mlp, i am a big ol philip j. fry kinnie and i love ninjago & tmnt!!

💜 i hope you’re doing okay!! get some sleep if you need it and remember that You Are Valid!!!!

pony blog | main | pdoods tag!

Helloo!! I’m mod warm!! And I hope you’re having a good day! 🌞 My favorite mlp characters are pinkie pie, skystar, and vinyl scratch! (tho i have so many i hold dear..) 🌞 ive been drawin for a heck of a long time but have mainly been drawing ponies since last summer hehe 🌞 my pronouns are they / them or warm / warms : ] i love all good warm vibes in can get in case u couldn’t tell 💜 🌞 my art can be found at @ transgirlvelma c : I’m so excited to be a part of this!! cant wait to fill out y’alls requests!

Ponydoodles tag

🦇 Ciao ciao! I’m Mod KO! I use He/They and up above is my sona Toonz (also known as Disaster Squish) and uses He/It!

💕 I’m the biggest cartoon nerd ever! Cartoons just in general are my biggest special interest along side maybe bats! Currently I’m extremely hyperfixated on Ok KO! Let’s Be Heroes! but honestly I don’t think there’s a cartoon out there that I don’t love!!

🌸 I love love LOVE gen 3 of MLP, it’s prob my favorite gen. Maybe cause I grew up with it haha! My favorite characters are Wisteria, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Chrysalis, Sunset Shimmer, Minty, and gosh just a ton more! I can’t help it there’s just so many good characters!! Though ship wise my faves are def Sunset & SciTwi and Wisteria & Kimono haha but gosh I love a ton of ships too!

You can find my main tumblr @hext00ns !!

Before you leave, let’s play a game! Pick a cup:

   🥤    🥤    🥤    🥤    🥤    

Ponydoodles tag

YO how is it GOING gamers, I’m Mod Razz!! I go by Mech or Flick, I am ✨ Very Queer ✨ and ✨ ADHD ✨

🐞 I’ve been into MLP since my single digit years, and I’ve been drawing for about 6 years! I’m only thoroughly familiar with G4, but I intend to watch older gens eventually >:]

🐞 My favorite character overall is Chrysalis! My favorite minor character is Vapor Trail, my favorite mane 6 is tied between Applejack and Fluttershy, and my favorite ship is Frazzle Rock x Sapphire Shores! (If you make content of said ship I will sell you my soul)

🐞 I draw in multiple styles, some more complex than others. You may see some inconsistency between my posts, but I hope they make y'all happy regardless!!

🐞 me opossum. me chameleon. me bug. me creature >:]]

* The image above has a white filter over it to reduce saturation, since the original is bright. You can find the unfiltered version here!

* You can also find my sona’s clearer (slightly dated) ref here!

ponydoodles tag

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[pianoandcookiedoughlover]

bitches say they’re gonna write up a list of things that would be cool to see in s6 of jamie johnson and then don’t follow up with that for like 2 years

it’s me. i’m bitches

as a preface this is just kind of a shitpost from start to end and they’re not really fully developed ideas but yeah, it’s something at least

jamie and dillon at northport

- see friendship strengthen, still with same dynamic that they’ve always had, very playful and with a lot of sarcasm

- jamie struggling with taking risks after injury - since you start learning to drive during these years in the uk, maybe fear of driving now?

- jamie defends dillon with homophobia that may arise, no wavering from that

- elliot has to fucking come back, dealing with a romance there, where dillon is really shy at first, doesn’t reveal his feelings for a little bit

- maybe foxborough make a comeback, tension with homophobia there? i don’t know if they seem like the homophobic type

- both finding their way as the youngest on the team - how do the older players handle it? are they pretty vengeful and jealous or are they impressed? maybe one of them has some kind of backstory that will intertwine with jamie or dillon’s, like a real-life mentor

- will we get a comeback of the guy who wanted to steal jamie for some team in china, i believe it was?

- maybe seeing some stuff from hawkstone with their new prodigy, highlighting that they never really cared, they only were worried about the money, which in turn makes jamie feel bad

- SIENNA MAKE A COMEBACK WITH A GIRLFRIENDDDDDDDDDD AND SEE ELLIOT AND DILLON TOGETHER

- okay, not likely, but like lowkey it makes sense to bring her back because duncan is going to be a more significant figure in this season, it would be nice to see him improve as a father and strike the balance between handling the club but also taking care of his daughter, who is going through a lot in her teen years, it would be nice to see them have nice moments at home together

- but like actually give her a valid storyline besides social media, what does she want to do when she gets older? i can see her almost doing something artistic, like designing outfits or something, but whatever we does, it would be nice to see her not feel so restricted by her father’s work and go along her own path outside the club

- sienna and dillon become friends again and people are like, “oh my god you have a gay best friend” and she becomes really vocal about that being literally the dumbest thing ever, the show can demonstrate this type of homophobia that’s kind of “in disguise,” not as in your face as dillon’s dad

- progressive queen and then realizes she can use her platform on social media to spread awareness, since that is what she enjoys doing

- but at the start of the season wanted to step away from it, reminded her too much of everything with her dad and wanted a break, she thought it was toxic but realizes she could do good with her voice

- jamie and jack reunite, even if it’s not playing against each other (i don’t think that would work), but meeting each other now when they’re both where they wanted to get to

- can we finally get that romance between them

zoe and kat at hawkstone

- talking about body image for women in sports

- it would be really cool to have transgender girl on the team, and some of the struggles she faces being an athlete while also being trans

- or talking about disabilities in sports, that would be really nice to see

- zoe falling in love with kat, but like no comment on sexuality, it just is what it is

- IF SHE BROUGHT KAT HOME AT THE END OF THE SEASON AFTER BEING SO HIDDEN ABOUT IT OH MY GOD AND SHE MET HER MOM

- like zoe’s very private because she’s worried that kat won’t like her if she talks about her mom, which is silly, but then seeing kat support her and learning how to be in a relationship with someone with a lot of responsibilities at home

- maybe her mom’s situation interferes with her place at hawkstone

- do they meet up with jack’s team again? would they even play against her (like are hawkstone and st. george’s even compatible?)

- exploring more of kat’s backstory, maybe why she’s so superstitious and what kind of an impact her grandmother had on her

- i believe she mentioned having a brother who plays (gave zoe his old boots) so it would be interesting to hear how having a sibling doing the same thing has affected kat, in a different way to the whole competition between dillon and liam

- watching kat lose some of her superstition in that she’s able to believe more in herself and her abilities and allow herself to make mistakes

- they’ll probably have a lot of pressure on them since hawkstone just started this new women’s team, maybe there could be a lot of competition with the boys’ team

- zoe is not going to do the whole, “being jealous of other girls” thing anymore, okay? she’s grown out of it

- honestly would like to see some dillon and zoe moments, wlw mlm solidarity

boggy our absolute hero

- boggy finding his passion outside of helping sports, unless that is his passion

- friendship between him and jamie struggling at first when he finds what he wants to do, but proving that you can stick together even with not exactly aligned interests

- schoolwork getting more intense with whatever tests they have to do at his age (i have no idea how the british education system works haha)

- check in with his therapy, see how that’s going, we actually see him get to go to one appointment, maybe, hopefully he’s built a good relationship with his therapist and we see the show promoting finding professional help if you need it

- maybe tries to get through a panic attack himself, with coping mechanisms he’s learned in therapy, i don’t know if the building pressure of school would be what induces it or not, but if his storyline is more about getting to see him outside of football, i doubt it would be because of anything related to the sport or stats or whatever

- anything about his family? like how they react to his diagnosis (unless he’s already told them what’s been happening), how close he is with them, if some of the pressure in school comes from at home, whether he has any siblings - we want to know more!!

- would he and nancy cross paths after he finds the thing he’s interested in, since it might be the same thing, or at least something similar, they realize they’re really good together and supportive of each other

- i can see them really pulling through, and it would be nice to see nancy being there for him with his panic attacks and learning how to be a supportive girlfriend to someone who does have problems with anxiety, panic attacks, etc

u14s at phoenix

- i want them to get a comparable opportunity as the gothia cup, something else though, so that they get the experience they missed out on with the whole duncan situation, the season will center around them working towards that thing, i don’t really have any suggestions since i don’t know football but i’m sure there’s something else for them out there

alba and ruby

- her and ruby get further apart, doing their own respective things, now that ruby isn’t playing football anymore, for some reason i feel like she’ll be into either art or psychology, but i can also see her trying to do some activism-esque stuff after her experience growing up in foster homes and now finally being adopted (!! i’m still so happy for them)

- now that she’s not playing at phoenix, we have no idea who ruby’s friends with, maybe she has some at school? i would like elliot to come back and the two of them to bond

- i can see ruby wanting to know more about her background but alba not being so much into that, which causes tension between the pair, ruby just feels like she doesn’t have a solid idea of who she is and wants to know where her roots are, whereas alba is in a good place at phoenix with a sense of being in a family there and doing what she loves

- alba’s anger management is poor, her and ruby bond over futsal or whatever after a period of time not talking after whatever issues come up between them

- the trio made up so it doesn’t seem like she has any issues with freddie or eric, but i want to see her grow more into the captain’s role and take on the responsibilities and stresses of getting the team to whatever opportunity they’re doing, maybe working more with duncan and him being more willing to help the team

eric

- i want to get a look into his home life, maybe how that affects him at school and just in general the emotional impact it has on him

- what happens to his family after the team get that comparable opportunity to gothia, compared to what ryan was doing? 

- we’ve just heard little snippets of his life and it sounds like a really complex story to explore which i think would be really cool, dealing with grief and the loss of a family member, and how it affects day to day life

freddie

- once they get this formal opportunity, freddie would be asked to be more serious on the team, kind of always the jokester and not fulfilling his full potential

- he doesn’t know where he fits in and who he wants to be, was there something in his past that made him feel like he had to feel that jokester role (like how wozza with adhd always wanted to crack the jokes and make a fool of himself so people were laughing with him)?

- it would be great to see him get a bit vulnerable and open up about some of his motivations, but eventually he finds the balance between putting in effort and not getting distracted and also being his normal fun-loving self

- please keep commentating because that was lots of fun, freddie

liam

- i want to see him bond with one of the three when they’re in a bad spot, happened to be there by accident and they’re going through something that maybe he can relate to, that’s why he is able to help, that way it isn’t a planned way to get people to forgive him, but rather, just natural, now that he’s growing up a bit

- does he even want to do football anymore? or was it always a pressure from dillon being so good, and he’s found other interests? or maybe he just doesn’t want to be as good as dillon, i feel like there’s a lot of emotional manipulation from the dynamic at home, and i can see him realizing that he never liked football for football, he just liked winning and making his dad “proud”

the johnson family

- is karen dating someone new? i would like to see her on her own and she absolutely doesn’t need anyone to help her, but i also feel like she deserves someone that truly would be there for her and support her, especially after everything that’s gone on with ian

- i also want to hear more about her own career endeavors, and how that intertwines with jamie now going pro - she’s always been there to support him but it’ll be interesting to see how family impacts professional players in general, and ones that are really young like jamie as well

- is mike staying at phoenix? literally what’s the point of his character, does he even want to be with the now u14s? or is he going to try and interfere too much in jamie’s career, which he wouldn’t want because he’s now pro? maybe i’m just still kind of annoyed at mike and have a very negative view of his intentions, so ignore this

- ian can just disappear forever, please, unless he comes back for one episode because that’s what ian does

- what about feeling guilty for literally running his own son down bitch, i thought we were going to get a whole arc with that but maybe the point is that ian is such a flawed character and sometimes people don’t change and -

- who would teach jamie to drive, karen? new boyfriend? depending on who it is, it might present different issues with jamie learning to drive if they do want to explore him being a little nervous after the accident

TL;DR

i just kind of want to see more of the characters in their own individual element, bring in school more (season 2-3 vibes) and get a more well rounded view of some of the characters we don’t know a lot about. i think they’ve left it in a place with a lot of interesting storylines to be explored, i just hope we don’t get another freddie-eric-aisha love triangle situation

...

i was going to say stan stormzy for clean skin but it took me way too long to figure out what her name was so that is no longer a valid statement

[kainumbernine009]

I literally cannot do anything else until I get this out.

I’m... really not okay.

And when I say that, I’m not mentally unstable. I say that because I’m tired of waiting on empty promises, I’m tired of never having money in our account, I’m tired of living in a fucking city where half of the white people fucking worship the ground Trump walks on, and where most of the gay community has so much messy drama that it’s worse than middle school. And I went to a rough middle school.

I never talk about my past, because I don’t like to. It sucked. HARD. Being and only child in my family was nothing less than torture, especially as a closeted queer person. We grew up in the white Christian part of Nashville that dominated Music Row in the 90′s and early 2000′s. I played basketball with Alan Jackson’s daughter, and being around famous people was just no big deal. But, my parents decided to leave Nashville after my dad lost his job at TPAC, and we moved down south an hour to the town where the KKK got started (Pulaski, TN).

I had maybe two non-white people in my private Christian school growing up. I was never afraid of Black people, but my parents showed their racist asses quick when we moved there. The KKK has never left America, guys, no matter how many articles you read or studies you do. From 2005 to 2009 I saw a white town show its very worst to the Black community. I’ll never forget the first time I saw a march for “White Christians for Purity” the summer before Obama got elected. The disgust I felt inside was palpable. I had all kinds of friends in school, and I didn’t give TWO SHITS who they were or what they looked like... but I saw children my age, being brainwashed by their parents, that “white” is “right.”

Ever since then, I have been learning and growing about the issues of race. I remember my white classmates using the N word and getting away with it. I remember hearing about the principal at the high school punishing all the Black kids but not the white kids. I remember being invited to a church south of town that was a historically Black church, and how nice the ladies were to me for coming.

But I’ll never forget the racism that the religious groups promoted there, especially First Baptist Church and the 12 Tribes. I’ll never forget how FBC told me that my friend was going to Hell because she killed herself. I’ll never forget my mom telling me not to marry a Black man because of “impure genes.” I WILL NEVER FORGET THE INJUSTICES I SAW WHITE PEOPLE DOING TO BLACK PEOPLE THERE. NEVER.

And thank God, I have shaken the burden of religious guilt, but I still fight against this mentality. I live in a place that’s usually not even 10 minutes away from Trump-humping, sister-fucking, meth-addicted Confederate cunts in any direction. And we’re even closer to the rich white people who silently supported him, upset that their taxes would go up because of Biden.

And in the past four years since Trump got elected, I’ve gotten married, graduated college with honors, started my own photography business, and was making more than my husband there for a minute. I did my own taxes, marketing, editing, and everything. And then I came out as trans.

I lost everything.

I lost my studio. I lost friends. I had rumors started about me. I had people post hate messages on my wall. I had people at my drag shows tell others not to tip me, for whatever fucking reasons. I’ve had bosses give cis people jobs over me, and I’ve had government workers give me second looks when I hand them my license.

It. Fucking. Sucks. To. Live. Here. Like. This.

Oh yeah, did I mention I’m also a witch/medium? I’ve talked to dead people before and have told their relatives things I shouldn’t have known otherwise about their grandparents. Like, this information doesn’t even exist on Google. And I’m attuned to reiki. I’m always aware of what’s happening on at least SOME metaphysical level. This is a gift that I’ve had to go through life developing and learning about myself, with no one’s help but me.

I didn’t even know until I was an adult that I have autism and ADHD.

I’ve taken bullets from people who were about to kill themselves. I’ve yelled at 5th grade music classrooms for doing racist dance moves and appropriating Native Americans (I have a degree in Music Education K-12). I’ve consoled kids in classrooms who suddenly have panic attacks. AND I’ve told horny teenagers to stay in their fucking lane and respect the girls around them. I’ve apparently been an inspiration to those around me, but inspiration NOR exposure pays the bills. I’ve already had COVID, and so has my husband, but I knew that after graduating college that I would never have a fulfilling life being a music teacher in Tennessee’s public schools.

And now that we have COVID, and an orange, small-dicked, pedophilic, rape apologizing, dirty, crusty white president who STILL REFUSES TO CONCEDE, who is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING HIS FOLLOWERS SEND DEATH THREATS TO MY FAMILY, I really don’t know what the fuck else to do other than go burn down all the houses I know of in North Georgia that belong to these Christian sex cult pedophiles and call it a day. My girlfriend unfortunately was born into one of those families, and I know just how bad it can get. In fact, her dad’s lawyer threatened me with blackmail earlier in November, so that was fun!

And now, on December 11, 2020, I’m still sitting here in the same fucking house, doing the same fucking things I’ve been doing all year - trying to get a job and failing horribly. I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS COVID BULLSHIT AND OUR INCOMPOTENT CUNT OF A PRESIDENT! And there’s only ever one other person I’ve ever called a cunt... my own mother.

I’ve lived in many places. I’ve met many different people. I’ve made mistakes, and have grown, but there’s one thing for damn sure that I always make sure to do, every single fucking day.

I ALWAYS try to do better.

In addition to this, I treat everyone with the same amount of respect, unless they have done something directly to me to negate that. If I know that someone believes in something that directly harms me or my family, I don’t even associate with them. I don’t spend my energy on things that don’t need it. And everyone else should, too.

The problem with some of y’all is that you care about the wrong things. Like will Becky text me back or did I get front row seats to that concert, or did I slave my life away to capitalism just so that I can own a Mercedes and have my friends jealous. I’ve had way too many dear death experiences to know that EVERY single fucking day is a gift. EVERY day.

I don’t want to be remembered first for the art I create. I want to be remembered for my character. I want to be remembered as the courageous person who never backed down in the face of adversity. But when you live in a place that already hates you and that is against you, that’s really fucking hard. Trust me. My marriage went from a cis straight passing couple to a white gay passing couple. I’ve seen how people’s attitudes changed around me as I transitioned. I know what it feels like to slowly lose a piece of your privilege you were born with.

So yeah, I kinda get a little fucking upset when I see people saying All Lives Matter, or when I see doctors refusing to treat trans patients in pandemics, or when I see cops YET AGAIN harassing Black people only a few blocks away from my house for no other reason than racism. And at this point, anyone who thinks they know me but only knows what people think they know about me can suck my entire ass and eat ten dicks. I don’t give a FUCK about who you are or what you’ve done. If you treat me or other people with no respect for no reason other than to be an asshole, you’re just plain shit. If you SERIOUSLY believe every little rumor and lie that someone tells about me before meeting me, fuck you AND the horse you rode in on.

What I can’t stand is people doing or saying things just to get a rise out of me or others. I thought we left petty shit in high school. Some of the people that “know” me really need to fucking grow up and grow a pair and either say what they want to my face, or stay mad. I’m tired of playing fucking petty games with y’all. We have a whole ass pandemic to solve.

So here’s the ultimatum... if you agree that Black Lives Matter and that queer people deserve basic human rights, EVEN THE ONES YOU HATE, then that’s the bare minimum to even be a decent person. If you can’t even do those things, then I don’t fucking know what else to say to you.

So NBC, maybe not have John Mulaney joke about my license debacle with my gold van on SNL, and Seth Meyers... maybe HIRE ME INSTEAD of Mulaney because clearly y’all don’t know about the south as much as I do? Oh, and that gazeebo joke with Lee University... I caught that. I may have autism, but I’m not a fucking idiot. I mean. I’m funny when I’m given the chance. And yeah, I’m on a watchlist, but who the fuck isn’t these days? At least all my secrets are out for the world to see, and I have a bangin’ tattoo.

I’m tired of everyone being like “omg, I’ve seen what he can do, it’s fantastic!” or “omg you’re so funny haha” and bragging on me and then NOT FUCKING HIRING ME. I’m TIRED of waiting on something that’s clearly at this point never coming.

I don’t even have testicles, and my balls are bigger than most of the cis men I have EVER met.

So, if you want to help me, or hire me, or get me out to an audition... I’ll be there. But until then, I’m so fucking MAD at some of these producers. Yeah, my mom is a cunt, but she worked in various forms of digital production from the 1980′s until she retired this year. She taught me SO MUCH about directing, writing, shooting, and more. I know how these things are supposed to run behind the scenes. I know what the fuck I’m doing, and I don’t take constructive criticism like a bitch. I actually WANT to be criticized, so I can do even better.

So PLEASE, for the love of Christ... y’all need to get your priorities together AND PLEASE STOP LEAVING ME OUT OF THE LOOP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. Grow a fucking pair and either call me, email me, or leave me alone. It’s really not that fucking hard. Looking at you, Lorne Michaels.

Oh and someone tell my husband what the fuck’s been going on because I’m tired of him gaslighting me about it.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

I meant to take more time off during the summer, like semi-regular three-day weekends or something, and instead summer basically disappeared because of course it did, so I decided to take Monday and Tuesday off because fuck it, there are a bunch of things I’ve been wanting to get done for a while and I never seem to have time. so of course as soon as I started making a list, I forgot what those specific major things were and remembered that actually I need to do fucking everything so that’s really not helpful.

actual goals for this actual weekend:

creative

make tiny modification to doll jacket

add one more piece to Young Loki and take pictures (and actually post them)

finish a fic??? I know I keep saying this but I NEED TO ACTUALLY DO THIS, I know I have some that are genuinely almost done

type notebooks, at least a bit

patch pants, maybe

design more Pride Cap shields, also maybe; most of them wouldn’t take long but it also isn’t super urgent

make some adjustments to the masks I bought from TeePublic (and a couple others, probably) so they’re actually usable

political

maybe read a few articles to post on Facebook although probably I should prioritize literally anything else

call legislators

research candidates for my union’s current election and vote

look up muni election

write 10 letters to voters for Sierra Club (and/or some postcards or Vote Forward letters)

gaming

play/finish a relatively quick quest chain in SWTOR with three more characters to pick up some more casino chips

then use up all casino chips in SWTOR, because the Nightlife event is an annual thing and it’s done on Monday; the nice part is that even though they unfortunately don’t have an autospin feature, playing a virtual slot machine is still pretty fucking mindless, which means I actually can multitask with some of the creative or political stuff

check my subscription (my general idea was to finish story content and then unsub, but there’s really...no reason to do it like that? especially because I just got 6 weeks free of Xbox Game Pass for PC, so that needs to be my priority for now, and unless there’s a huge benefit to an autorenewing SWTOR sub, there’s no reason to keep that when I could instead just...resub when I want it. also now that Steam has some kind of points program, there might be some benefit to subbing through Steam specifically, so I need to check that)

Humble Choice charges in about a week, so I need to decide whether I want to pay for the current month or cancel, and I need to download whatever I might want from Humble Trove while I can

download some GameJolt games in case they vanish

check out a game-related WW84 thing from Microsoft

miscellaneous responsible-adult shit I mostly don’t want to do

submit insurance appeal

try to make the last major decision(s) for my will and get that finished

try to figure out why PC continues to misbehave, uuuugggghhh (trying to close more tabs might at least help in the short term, which is...a whole other thing)

check gift stash to see if I have anything for my sister, because if not I’m gonna have to buy something real quick for her birthday in less than a week oops

pack and mail Etsy order

check my car for title and put it in my safe, where it should have been all along

read this one specific ADHD post that’s been open in a tab for literal months, and maybe also make one of my own

review recent Etsy purchases

try to clip Hazy’s nails...........again.........or at least call Petco to see if the coupon they just sent me for a free nail trim is literally a coupon for a free nail trim or if it’s like, free nail trim with a bigger grooming package, and if it’s the former maybe actually do that, although at this point maybe she’ll be even worse with a stranger clipping her nails than she is with us, so that’s great

also possibly return the nail grinder if it seems like there’s no way she’s ever going to tolerate it

make a Fred Meyer order for pickup

also, make a decision on the shoes I bought, so I can return one pair if I decide to do that

things that do need to happen in the semi-near future but if I want to get anything done at all this weekend I probably need to accept/decide that these things aren’t going to happen yet:

list some stuff on eBay before the USPS gets even more fucked up

make a couple new Etsy listings or at least renew some sold-out ones, which will involve price research

related: start working on other new stuff for Etsy, like holiday items, because those are no good if they aren’t available well in advance

work on other personal projects; finishing Young Loki is a great start but I have at least a few others that are honestly close to being done

copy photos off my phone

rearrange some stuff so I can display more of my pins (the vast majority of which are Loki pins, yes)

post some stuff in my drafts

work on an actual backup system/schedule for my PC, hahaha fuck me

attempt to do some cleaning in my room? haha yeah that’s not gonna happen

oh I still have a bunch of songs in my iTunes library that are all fucked up for some reason, I still need to...do something about that

[k-liight]

it's been a hell of a long time since I did OC stuff, but here at last is my full cast for Warlock Enterprise! and by full cast, I mean all the characters that are at least somewhat important to the story. lmao there'll be other characters that are just kinda there for maybe like two seconds, and I may add more characters to the actual plot in the future lol. but this is everybody for now! I'm gonna ramble about them all like I usually do with my OCs so if you're interested keep reading dflfjbhgfdkgjs (also note that I made some major design changes to most of these characters LMAO)

Richard Duchaes is the confident dad who comes from a long line of demon hunters going way back into the early medieval times-- pretty much as far back as warlocks even existed in this universe! he can be quite goofy at times, but don't mess with him or his family unless you wanna see him go into angery papa bear attack mode. he's a very powerful warlock and wants his son Mason to even more powerful one day. he's very outgoing and supportive and likes to incorporate witty banter into his battles. Denise Duchaes is the sweet yet badass angel mom who can also be very goofy despite her magnificence. even around other transcendents, she'll keep in her human form, because her true angel form can be quite overwhelming. she's 90% pure light and can bend light rays at her will-- a master illusionist. when alone with her family, she'll carry herself in a dimmer form of her true self so as to not blind them-- that form is translucent and makes her look like wispy smoke. she's very protective of her children, but also likes to embarrass them both, as moms do, haha. Mason Duchaes is of course our hero, a young warlock who dreams of following in his fathers footsteps, but he's rather shy and a little bit behind in magical development. he has a degree of social anxiety making it hard for him to get comfortable around people, but he's very devoted to his family and very protective of his little sister Kalisha. he's down-to-earth and no-nonsense, but he knows how to have fun and it's very easy to make him laugh. he might get insecure of himself at times, but he's very determined to achieve his goals no matter how long it takes. he's more of a left-brain thinker, very logical in what he does and is able to make calculated decisions quickly. Kalisha Duchaes is Mason's adoptive younger sister who's extremely excitable and energetic to the point where she innocently thinks being in danger is fun. she's kind of a mystery baby, her transcendency is unclear and her parents have no idea where she came from. she was found in the woods at a mere three years old and the only thing she remembered was her own first name, and when Richard and Denise couldn't find her birth family, they took her into theirs. now, Kalisha is happy with her family and is eager to join them in the long line of demon hunters. she's quite pugnacious and enjoys fighting demons. she's a tough little rascal that gets right back up when she's knocked down. Amy Stilton is Mason's best friend and magic partner who's also here for a good time and has the unique ability to telepathically communicate with animals. Mason's parents discover that Amy is half-transcendent and half-banal, which is a big no-no in transcendent code of conduct. she also has no idea who her own father is, leading them to believe that her father is/was a transcendent who broke the rules. similar to Kalisha, her transcendency is unclear, so after Mason partners with her and dubs her an "honorary warlock", Richard and Denise set out to solve her origin mystery. she has ADHD and is thus a very creative right-brain thinker to balance Mason's logical demeanor. she's very energetic and emotional, and while she gets easily scared fighting demons, she can channel that fear into good fighting tactics. Sasha Stilton is Amy's aloof and standoff-ish mother who only shows her emotions when she wants to. she's rather trashy and sleazy, but she's also very mysterious in her ways. she smokes a lot a wears too much jewelry and makeup, but she's sympathetic as a minimum-wage worker and single mom. she seems cold at times, but she has instilled a great sense of responsibility in Amy. Maureen Burgstaller is Amy's best friend alongside Mason and also doubles as her school tutor. she's very smart and academic, but she's also sporty and loves working out in her free time. she's a star student and a loyal friend who has known Amy since they were knee-high to a grasshopper and helps her work with her ADHD. she's great with kids and wants to be a teacher one day. Edward Copperton is a wise and friendly old chap who's still very strong for his age and owns the local transcendent tavern, The Waning Gibbous, as well as the head of the area's Warlock Enterprise (which is where the name of the story comes from hollaaaaaa). he exudes kind grandfather vibes and shares mutual respect with Richard and his family. he's very fond of Mason and Kalisha and becomes a sort of mentor to them both. he's been worn down from years, no, decades, of fighting physical and emotional battles, but he is able to take something good from all of his experiences. he's rather prophetic due to his age, but never overbearing. Lucy is a bubbly and cheerful witch who loves good times and all things cute. she's extremely friendly and devotes herself and her magic to helping others. she herself is very cutesy and takes pride in being girly and powerful both. her magic is strong, but her passion is even stronger, and she can cast complicated spells with ease. Lora is Lucy's dark, evil twin sister who is much more stoic and unfeeling than her other half. she frequently teams with demons to get what she wants, but she doesn't strike a fair bargain and is very selfish even to them. despite her cruel nature, Lucy holds no hard feelings towards her. Quentin is an evil warlock and Richard's arch-nemesis since high school. he's very cocky and outgoing, and almost campy in his speech, but paring that with the many lives he's taken makes him all the more twisted. he's over-confident and has a dark sense of humor. he's very violent, but doesn't like getting his hands too dirty, though he just loves pissing Richard off. Kyle is a lowly demon and Quentin's acolyte/scapegoat. he's practically a slave to the evil warlock and is far too weak to rebel against him. he's extremely shy and unsure for a demon, and doesn't even like too much violence. he has a Stockholm syndrome towards Quentin because he believes he's the only one who sees the demon's potential. Grent is a smaller but much stronger demon who frequently annoys the other villains, intentional or not. he's incredibly obnoxious and doesn't seem to know when to shut up, which frequently gets him in trouble (not that he'll ever learn his lesson). while he is powerful, he tends to overshot himself, especially if it's to impress a clearly uninterested woman. he's obsessed with jazz music and thinks he's hot shit, but he's really not. Lady Ultimatum is a rouge vampire who feeds off others' fear. she has built her entire identity to being as terrifying as possible, and loves scaring people into eventually letting her get her way. she's a gambler, but she doesn't play fair at all. if she tries to strike an unfair "bargain" with you, you can turn her down, but over time, you'll be tormented in your nightmares by all your worst fears and eventually become so paranoid that you give in and accept her offer just to make it all stop. she's highly feared and loves every drop of it. Felix is a Norwegian hudrekall who works as a bartender/waiter at the Waning Gibbous tavern. he's very soft-spoken, but is also quite a flirt, and always pays a compliment where he can even when he's not flirting. nearly everyone is attracted to him and he knows it, but he doesn't let it get to his head and is very humble about it. he's sweet and soft, but he definitely has a mischievous side as well. Ildiko is a female warlock of Hungarian descent and Lucy's girlfriend. she's much more intimidating and less bubbly than her beloved, but she's very much a gentlewoman. she's been through a hell of a lot and has the battle scars to show it, plus the horrific marks of a severe burn to her lower face and upper torso which she covers. she's tough as nails and doesn't fuck around, making her well-respected in the Enterprise. and last but not least, Uriah is a new character added to the line-up; he's fun-loving twenty-something warlock who uses his magic in very creative ways. he has a natural ear for music, and likes to use soundwaves from his mixtapes to his advantage. sometimes he can be a bit naive, but he's still a valuable member of the Enterprise. he quickly befriends Mason and becomes like the brother he never had. damn, it took me like two hours just to type up this description XD but I think that's it for now! hopefully I can get back into the swing of OC stuff, especially for this story flbfjgkljds

[aqvarius]

Fav voltage games and any guys similar to you???

thanks for the ask!

[5] favourite games:

1. Her Love in the Force: because i’m So Predictable. honestly i feel this game is one of the strongest overall. the writing is incredible, the mix of drama and romance and action is perfect, the plots are always so interesting. i sometimes play other games and then kind of put it down before i’m finished with a route but with HLITF, i have to finish the whole route ASAP because i love the feeling of investigating and uncovering the plot in addition to the developing romantic relationship. also all the love interests are really top notch, and you really get to see the mc’s development into an incredible detective. can’t go wrong with this game at all. i recommend it wholeheartedly to everyone.

2. Dreamy Days in West Tokyo: this game makes me feel nostalgic for a high school experience i never even had. this is voltage’s sweetest game of all time (i say that but i actually never played class trip crush or any of the other school life ones lmao). if you love school life shoujo manga and osananajimi romances that you actually get to see develop all the way to marriage, this is the game for you. the reason that it’s one of my faves is that it’s actually surprisingly quite full of drama and anguish as well and i found a lot of the conflict in the relationships really quite relatable. i also love the camaraderie between the whole friend group :)

3. Be My Princess: a true classic. this is one of the first voltage games i ever played. i totally understand why it had to come to an end but how i wish there was more BMP content. give us butler routes voltage you cowards!!!!! BUM is not the same!!!! anyway wow this was back when princesses were the trend for MCs and now i guess everyone is just raring for action MCs. i miss Average Girl MCs - anyone else? i’d love to see more political drama in BMP too… i’m also especially nostalgic for this game because the OG voltage tumblr crew were so much fun

4. Kiss of Revenge: such a good game that i wish they continued. this is when i feel like voltage was peaking with their more mature games and MCs. the only good and valid Dr. MC, RMD MC needs to learn from her. this is another game where i wish there were more content. i love that the MC is the focal point of the drama rather than the love interests. although i do suppose it is a game where the premise only really allows for limited content…

5: A Knight’s Devotion/My Sweet Bodyguard: AKD is just MSB in medieval times. i couldn’t decide between the two because the premise is basically the same and AKD is just the ‘less content’ version of the two. i do still really like the bodyguard/knight falling in love with his mistress trope, and i don’t really mind that the MC is kinda weak physically. people always slag her off for just like panicking when she’s in precarious situations but unless you’re a seasoned fighter, you would panic in real life too, don’t lie. there are different types of strengths and i feel like the AKD/MSB MCs demonstrate the type of tolerance and understanding that really complements their LIs. also i’m forever grateful for MSB for giving us the greatest spinoff app of all time, HLITF. 

6. BONUS it’s not an otome game but Voltage released this game 生存率0%! 地下鉄からの脱出 which is a VN horror survival type game? I’ve been wanting it since I saw the trailer in 2013. 

[5] guys similar to your personality:

all the tsunderes lol. no but for real

1. Ayumu Shinonome: this is strange because i love him so much as a LI haha. but in actuality, we’re pretty similar. i’m pretty bad at expressing my feelings for people even if i feel them so strongly and i kind of send out hints here and there and expect my SO to get them (and he gets it just enough for me to feel like this a viable form of communication lol). in general i’m the type of person who often does things without explaining myself and internalise everything when i’m annoyed. i did one of those stupid facebook meme generator things about myself and it came up with this which is so accurate i hate it

i’m also the type to put a lot of value on toiletries/cosmetics lol, i’ll spend an hour hovering around the chemist/drugstore and i’ll do SO much research before buying new makeup/skincare/haircare etc. ayumu and i share a motto which is “要靚唔要命” (fashion > comfort/life lmao)

i also take my teaching pretty seriously (although… i would never ever date a student) like literally i’ll have to get up at 7am to teach a 9am seminar and then i’ll still be up at 4am thinking of activities to try to get them to practice applying a certain theory or adjusting the wording of my questions to get them to understand something better. i love peach tea and i used to get it from the vending machine every day when i was in school lmao and i was not gonna reveal this for fear of seeming lame but i’m just gonna admit that i also have a dinosaur phone case hahahaha although i got it just cause it was cute and not cause i’m a dinophile. anyway the big difference between us though is that ayumu is a genius while i am made up of Dumbass Juice

2. Toru Kurosawa: i’m loathe to admit it but i’m also kinda similar to this….. freaking……. guy…….. cause he’s kinda cheerful and sometimes a bit of a chatterbox on the surface but also kinda… two-faced?? which, same. i don’t really take things seriously unless it’s actually a big deal to me and then i’m like SUPER serious about it. also my friends probably all find me super annoying l m a o there was a time in my life where i would spam my close friend circle group chat and everyone would just ignore me 

another similarity is that we tend to push people away when we have personal issues to deal with. i always try to sort my own shit out before involving anyone else even if the situation involves them (but this also means that even if something is not my fault i’ll find a way to rationalise that it is my own fault and then accept it as my own problem and the other person will get off scot free)

3. Rihito Hatsune: oh? what’s that? another Bad Personality Guy? i think i’ve toned this down a fair bit from before but i can actually be pretty manipulative with guys and instead of being up front and direct, i’ll just do and say things that will get me the response that i want (lol the recurring theme here is that i’m a terrible person and bad communicator. @ my boyfriend, thank you for putting up with me for 4 years lol). i’m also a classically trained musician (but stopped just short of applying to conservatory for musical performance when i did my uni applications back in the day cause i suck at theory)

4. Mizuki Fujisaki: beyond all my two-facedness, bad interpersonal communication skills and other general negative personality traits, i think mizuki and i are similar in that we share the same airheadedness. like i think we both share a brainwave and that brainwave is only accessible in outer space. in mizuki, it’s cute. in me, it’s… ADHD maybe…??? who knows. 

5. Glenn Casiraghi: it’s hard to find 5 different guys who are similar to me lol. i guess i would go with glenn because he has a complex about his age (i too have always been the youngest in my cohort - family, friends, schoolmates, etc. and i have such an inferiority complex about it lol) and he can be kinda spoilt but also pretty responsible when he has to be