#AND LIKE. i dont remember the fic super well but i do remember sitting on my couch reading it like oh god. is that why i am like this

[aropride]

Will never ever forget the time i was 16 and i opened up a bmc fic bc i was making my way thru the entire boyf riends tag (unsuccessfully, but i did succeed with another ship) and it was a fic about jeremy coping with ptsd by writing absurd amounts of fanfic and i dont think id ever felt that type of deer-in-headlights mirror-held-up-in-front-of-me feeling from a fic in my fucking life . i will be thinking about that forever.

[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗞 - part two max verstappen x fem! driver! reader (fluff) “. . . this is what they call: puppy love.”

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Max gave you a look of displeasure. He pursed his lips, raising his shot of tequila in cheers before downing it. You flipped the ping pong racket in your hand playfully, a teasing look on your face as your opponent got ready for another round.

Not so long ago, after arriving at this bar, you and Max discovered an unoccupied ping pong table with all the equipment needed for a few rounds. You both gave it a shot, finding no harm in a few rounds. And admit the talk of getting to know each other, Max discovered that you were not a big fan of Red bull. 

Of course he gave you the disbelief and offended look before turning the calm game into a drinking one. Well at least for him, since you decided to be the reserve driver. 

For each ball you miss, you drink a big gulp of Red Bull, the summer edition. And for every ball max misses, a shot of tequila. It was a fairly equal game. Each time you missed you'd scrunch your face and gulp, and Max would go on about telling you how it's not that bad. 

It was fun though. You were enjoying your time and soon enough Max was too drunk to stand stable on his feet. Playing any further would be unfair since you're sober and he's dancing to himself singing super max. "Where are we going?" "We are hoping to sit down and drink water." You tell him, guiding him to the bar where you both sat.

"But water is boring." He argued, not taking his eyes off you as you sat him down before sitting beside him. While you looked through the chalkboard menu, looking for non alcoholic drinks that were more interesting, Max leaned his chin on his palm playing with the strong on your hoodie. 

"Other than red bull, do you want juice?" You offered. Turning to look at the blond, gently pulling the string from his hand. "Hey," He frowned, taking it back. You chuckled at him.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Alright, princess." You breathed out heavily, opening your car door and helping max in. It took a few seconds before he sat down properly, struggling to put his feet in from the swaying. "Where's your hotel? I'll drop you off." The engine started smoothly when you sat in the driver's seat. 

"Don't remember." Max mumbles watching you lean close and buckle him up. "Don't remember?" You asked again to make sure and he nodded. "How about you stay with me for the night." Max nodded again. He wanted to spend more time with you, he didn't want the night to end just yet.

It was a funny drive, with silly jokes coming from the drunk man and horrible singing as well. "Next time— hic— next time you're in Japan we should go to karaoke." He insisted, scrolling through your phone in search of a good song.

You couldn't wipe the smile on your face, glancing at max through the drive as he sang to purple rain then to Taylor swift. He was such a fun time. Even convincing you to join along in the singing. The windows were down and at the stop lights people looked at you like you were crazy people. 

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

maxverstappen1

liked by yn.halimi and 385.4k others maxverstappen1 Great to be out on track again, testing with verstappencom Racing 💪 Good times ☝️

username all the other drivers be chilling off track but max be stuck to it by glue

username is it just me or did y/n like ↳ username it's just you ↳ username never mind ↳ username what does this mean? ↳ username what could it mean? ↳ username wait if they dated, who would be the wag?

username he lives behind the steering wheel

username these race suits thooo, dayum ↳ username definently good ideas for the 2024 season 👀

yn.halimi max versttapen the three time f1 rb champion, in a ferrari? hmm🤔 ↳ maxverstappen1 just this one time ↳ yn.halimi... i dont think you can keep that promise 🤗 ↳ username Y/N?? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?? ↳ username what is going on in the house of commons rn

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Hah!” Max cheered when you missed the ball, watching it bounce on the floor rolling away. You put your hands on your hips, glaring at him. “What?” Max picked up another ball, ready to continue with the match. You rolled your eyes playfully, getting ready to smack the ball to the other side again. 

You and Max randomly decide to get together and have a rematch from the small ping pong game from azerbaijan. The blond decided (more like insisted) you play paddle. You tried to pull the ‘i don't have a racket or paddle or whatever you call it for that’ the man, much to your misfortune had an extra. This led to you renting a little court for an hour and a half, forgetting about all the rules and playing with max for the fun of it.

And you were having fun, moving around and laughing as the ball bounced back and forth instead of staying at home in your sim the whole time. The time you spent running and exercising felt even more memorable because you were sharing it with Max, arguing over him throwing two balls to sabotage you or if you saw the ball bounce more than once on his side. 

It was a fun time overall. You stayed until an employer had to ask you to leave. “Thanks for the fun time, Max.” You gave him a fist bump, pulling your bag’s strap over your shoulder. Max smiled like the golden retriever he was, stuffing the paddle racket in his own bag.

“Keep it.” He tells you when you hold out the other racket for him to take. “It’s yours,” You decline, holding it out further for him but he only pushes it back towards you. “It has cooties now, you take it.” He replies sassily. You hold in a chuckle, pursing your lips. That was one way to gift some one your stuff

With one last wave, the two of you departed, you in the toyota supra and him a honda.

[ghoastixx]

Hi! I didnt know if you prefer ghost or rider, I like both tho but whichever makes you more happy uwu

And as a fan of the lost boys, beetlejuice(movie ver.), bill and ted excellent adventure(+ bogus journey, face the music)

Personally i would love to do my own writing some day but I kinda wanna see how another writer does it, I dont mind! But Request for (maybe poly) bill and ted x (idk if you write for female reader, its okay if not! GN reader is okay too) reader who is a time traveller themselves and goes to 1986 to see bill and ted?

lmao like they met their future wife/husband THAT LITERALLY CAME FROM THE FUTURE

Poly Bill and Ted x female time traveler reader

Hello!! I prefer either of those names but thank you so much for being considerate, either or is fine <3 Yes, I do write for female readers as well, and that’s exactly what I will do for this fic. I think it’s super cool that you want to use my writing as an example of your work, that’s super influential to me!!! I tried my best with this fic and I really hope that you enjoy, best of wishes to you and your work!<3 -Ghost

“Ted, my dear friend, I think she’s dead.” That was the first thing you heard him say. It was super bright for some reason.

“Well, is she breathing?” The other one asked, for some reason, you recognized the voice.

“I don’t know Ted.” Wait a minute, Ted was here? Finally you open your eyes to see two blurry figures looking down at you.

“She’s opening her eyes.” You hazily sit up and look at them. Your lovers, except younger. It was them, you knew it had to be. They looked and sounded, even talked like them.

“Bill? Ted? What’s going on.” The two boys looked at each other and then back to you.

“You know our names?” The taller one asked. Okay, hold on, what had happened before you got here, try and remember. Oh! That’s it! Some random guy approached you and started talking about how you needed to go back in time and make sure that you met your husbands as a teenager. That’s what happened. So, what to do now?

“I-, my cousin, yeah my cousin knows you two. I think you go to high school together.”

“Ohhh, that makes sense.” The one with curly blonde hair, Bill, reached his hand out to you, helping you up.

“I’ve never seen you around before?” Quick to make up a lie, you responded.

“I’m a distant relative visiting, I don’t live around here. Anyways, my cousin has showed me yearbooks, I think I saw you two in it.”

“Most excellent, who’s your cousin?” Ted was very interested in finding out who you were, makes sense though. You did just wake up in front of them and state that you recognized them, kind of creepy.

“Her name is Y/N” The boys looked at each other and you could see the lightbulb in their heads go off.

“Yeah, we know Y/N!”

“She is a most excellent babe.”

“Are you two friends with her?” You ask, wondering if they had already knew you at this point.

“I think she’s in our history class. She offers tutoring to us sometimes, our history teacher is most heinous.”

You knew exactly what they were talking about, you had offered to help them pass multiple times, you were crushing on the boys at the time.

“You guys should hang out more, she seems to think you guys are super cool.”

The blonde looked at his taller boyfriend, “she does? Excellent!” They both air guitar at each other, an action that you would eventually learn to love seeing them do.

“Don’t tell Y/N that I ran into you two, she’ll kill me.”

The two nodded in sync.

You said goodbye to the two and parted ways, you sat down and looked at your wedding ring, knowing you had done what you needed to do, a voice comes from behind you. The guy from earlier.

“You ready to go back?”

“Totally.”

When you open your eyes again, you’re in your room, in your bed, with your boys. You smile to yourself and think back to the encounter. Ted leans further onto your shoulder lightly snoring, Bill looks up at you.

“Go back to sleep, it’s too early-“

You laugh, quietly as to not wake Ted up.

“Alright, alright. Scoot over.”

Meanwhile back in 1986*

“So, she looked a lot like Y/N.” Ted looked down at Bill.

“Maybe she was from the future, she sounded like her too. Maybe she’s our future wife.”

“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said today, Ted. She was definitely our future wife.”

The two smiled at each other and made their way to their current times Y/N, content with knowing that they’d still be together after everything.

-Ghost

[sunshinechay]

The way my mind connects the dots with 0 hesitation is hilarious. I could be seeing something like "Omg Michael is SO hot, looks so good with his hair like that, my little meow meow!" and Im like "ya Michael-

Seater?

Cera??

Myers!

from the group chat??!!!???

Really be like that (I barely care about any of those people, my brain will just pick at random), wild to see this post in the wild tho, its been years since I saw fans of (pick your fighter).

Only to find out OP is talking about a totally unrelated Michael from something I've never heard of, but its too late, ive already connected the dots in such a hilarious way, I gotta reblog now. But im collecting the new Michael for another similar situation if this ever comes up again.

I remember in high school we had this classmate named John Oliver and for the life of me, I couldn't understand that my friends were talking about John Oliver the tv host. They'd sit there saying the wildest shit like "Did you hear what insane shit John Oliver did last week?" and for a whole 5 seconds I'd be SO concerned about our mutual classmate only to be told this is about some random dude I don't know or watch (back then) and suddenly the world made a LOT more sense. But for those 5 seconds my mind created real terror and I just had to know what kind of sitcom life my classmate was living every fucking week.

So anyways, if you're always wondering why i keep re-blogging posts about your favs with the dumbest tags, its because I keep re-living Last Week with John Oliver time loop with you😭.

I don't even read your url, im just scrolling fast and every time im like "wait Effy slow down, this made no sense, dont just accept that" I look at the url and you're talking about some whole other guy.

Like I really saw your post and went "ah the creepy pasta girlies from 2012 breached containment and hit my dash again...ya...i'll reblog" and it was literally NOT about that Jeff at all.

I need an option to highlight your username in big and bold so my brain understands that your favs and my brain has 0 overlap and idk any of those people. This keeps happening with just you on my dash and no one else. I remembering struggling with my life, during your vegas era (of vegaspete of kinnporshe). Like this is NOT about Las Vegas at all, but if you asked me what my brain ran off with in those 5 seconds, if left unchecked, you'd understand why I love having you in my dash so much. Scrolling super fast on tumblr with you on my dash is just briefly time traveling to another universe istg.

Plus sometimes I do end up watching what you watch like kinnporshe so thats just a bonus.

Glad I could help! Haha

And don’t worry, my brain frequently does this kind of thing as well. Our brains recognize patterns and make connection only it seems our make connections where there are none, but that’s half the fun. Sometimes I laugh at where my own brain takes me.

I saw your tags on the Jeff posts and laughed because omg can you imagine Jeff the Killer reading his own fanfiction 😂😂😂

However, it’s Jeff Satur we’re talking about and honestly the fact he has read fanfiction about himself is both funny and horrifying like “I’m so sorry you had to witness this Jeff…would like some recs for other fics about you?” 😂😂😂

I’m glad that you have liked the BLs you’ve watched. They’re really just something else, in both good ways and bad and I love them so much. So I’m happy I can spread the joy :)

[bimobuddy]

Late Night Worries

Tickle Fic

SFW

Back at it again with another comfort fic, I am writing this at 4 in the morning

Obviously I don't speak for everyone when it comes to hypochondria, this is my own personal experience

Using 2012 TMNT for this one because it's a good show

Lee!Donnie, Ler!Leo because they dont get enough brother time >:(

T-cest shippers, DNI at all please

It was late, super late, yet Donnie was still awake. He was nervously pacing around the common room, just feeling every part of his body function. Normally this wouldn't be a problem during the day, as he would be surrounded by his brothers, he would be busy and distracted, other things would be going on.

But it was 3 am now, his brothers were asleep, it was dark, and a little too silent. He could only focus on himself right now, and he was definitely overthinking every little thing.

His heart was racing, he could feel every organ in his body, and it was scaring him.

What if something happens

What if I can't control something and I get hurt

What if I catch something serious-

What if I already have something serious-

What if something ruptures or-

"Donnie?"

Pulled from his thoughts, Donnie turned to his older brother standing in the hallway. Leo stepped into the common room, a look of concern on his face. "Are you alright? What are you doing up so late?"

Donnie, momentarily distracted from his anxiety, almost seemed to forget why he was up. Almost.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I was.. Getting a glass of water." He said. Leo knew his little brothers better than they thought he did. He wordlessly took Donnie by the hand and pulled him over to the couch to sit down. "Donnie, you know you can talk to me. I'm not just your leader, I'm your brother."

Donnie sighed. "I know, I just.. It's hard to explain." He started. Leo nodded, encouraging him to continue. ''I just have so much anxiety about my health- I know it probably sounds dumb, but the more I worry about it, it's like it just becomes real, like I manifest the symptoms to reality.. And when it happens with illnesses, I'm scared it will happen with something worse, like- like what if-" "Donnie."

Donnie stopped before his mind could start racing again. Leo grabbed his wrists in order to have his full attention. "You're okay. You're fine. You need to remember that you're perfectly fine, even when your thoughts get out of control. And if something does feel wrong, you've got three brothers, a father, and two human friends you can talk to."

Donnie calmed down a little, then smiled. "I appreciate it but.. I really don't think Mikey or Casey would be much help at all." Leo laughed lightly, "You're probably right. Or Raph for that matter, he might just tell you to 'fight it off.' Well you've at least got me, April, and Splinter."

"I dunno about that," Donnie joked, "Knowing you, you'd probably just try to train the anxiety away. And I dont feel like training at three in the morning." Leo acted offended. "Excuse me, I'm more sympathetic than that!"

"Pfft, remember last week when Raph hurt his hand and you just told him to use his other one?"

"That was his own fault and you know it."

"Reheal sympathetic Leo,"

"He punched the cement wall, he was literally asking for it,"

"Mkay, Mr. Sympathetic,"

Leo smirked and gently started to pinch his side, easily avoiding Donnie's own flailing and defending arms. "Leheheheo nohoho!" He covered his mouth, muffling his giggles, still trying to squirm away.

Leo smiled. They hadn't played like this since they were little kids, though after everything they've been through, they definitely needed it. "I wouldn't get too loud if I were you, Raph and Mikey are still asleep." Donnie turned and tried to shove Leo away, still giggling, but again, Leo just dodged the defense and tickled his ribs.

"L-Leheheo we're gohohonna wahake someone uhuhuhup!"

"Then stop laughing, you're the one being loud."

"I swehehear to- shuhut uhuhup!"

Donnie once again clapped his hands over his mouth and held them there. However, with his arms up, Leo could easily slip his hands under his arms and get him, which he absolutely did.

The poor purple clad turtle giggled louder into his hands, starting to kick his legs against the couch, and curl up. The noise had woken up their father who came to tell them to quiet down, but having overheard part of the conversation, and seeing them now, he decided to let them be. They rarely ever got to be normal brothers anymore. He smiled to himself and turned to go back to his room, knowing his second youngest was in good hands.

Despite being tickled, Donnie felt more at ease. He wasn't thinking about all his obsessive thoughts, he wasn't worried about his health, he felt safe. He knew his brother had his back, even if he was being a pain.

_________________________

Sorry if it seemed a little rushed, I started writing this at 4 am and it's now about 5:30 as I'm posting this, and I wasn't sure how to end it.

[defeateddetectives]

Pick and choose from the following :>

3 for k, 4, 6 for k, 6 for not k, 7, 12, 17, 19, 23, 25

gonna answer the unspecified ones for k as well bc i'm overjoyed about an excuse to choose violence about this (un)dead horse of a fandom over a decade later so thank u :D skipped 4, 19, & 25 bc nothing came to mind or i couldn't remember. rest under cut bc it got long rip

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr i do not have screenshots of any takes like 11 yrs later but i think everyone who had to put up with me circa 2k12 and the years onwards probably knew it was the whole ~mikoto only cared about one (1) person/thing and everything else was meaningless~ shtick -- the antithesis of which i apparently then made the hill i was gonna die on :)

honourable mention to that one arcade fire lyric being directly attributed to him as a quote as well though. like. what was that

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

look i am older and wiser than 11 years ago! i will let humans have complexities!!! i am friends with people who ship things i don't ship!!! all ships have rights i suppose!!! it's mktts*

*for legal reasons this is now a joke :')

for non-k...hmmm i remember v*ltron fandom reaching new heights of toxicity i'd never thought possible but i've fortunately eternal sunshined most of that from my memory now!

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

hmm i dont think hate is the right word. i think if anything, fandom 'flattened' how i saw some characters and i had to like sit with my interpretations in more or less a vacuum to figure them out when writing them. misaki and totsuka come to mind for obvious reasons bc they were so often only considered in the context of a ship and i've had to flesh them out in a way that make sense to me for a while. on the flipside, i couldn't stand the vast majority of the fanon takes on fushimi but he is SUCH a fun playground of a character in canon!

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

not unpopular as in disliked but more like overlooked - but i think more people should get obsessed with hidaka like me and then write me super niche hisaru fic!!!!! <3

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

it would be Really Nice if chiaki and i weren't pretty much carrying the mikoizu fandom on our backs :'))) but my running joke has always been that my relationship with that ship is their relationship with each other ie. IT'S ROTTEN WORK / NOT TO ME NOT IF IT'S THEM 😭

also obvs perpetually manifesting the great izumotatara takeover of 2kforever!!! lbr though i'd be delighted about new k content tailored to any of my biases in the year 2k24 (hint hint to anyone reading!)

23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to

i wouldn't say 'unwillingly' (lol i feel like i'm answering all these questions Wrong) but once i had sufficient time and space, i do think i have much more appreciation for mktts and s*rumi dynamics and their emotional weight without the background noise of all no good very bad fandom takes in the fandom's heyday!

[betweenthings2]

hello!!! warning you now that this is going to be the longest thing ever because i’m allergic to being concise but it’s finally time for me to actually send you an ask to gush and discuss your incredible writing. i’ve been interacting with your work on ao3 and tumblr for over a year now and i just lurk and heart everything because i refuse to use tumblr how it’s intended to be used🫣 but it’s time to show my face (even though this is anonymous oops) and say the quality of your writing is genuinely unparalleled to anything else i’ve ever read online and dare i say it comes close to/ overtakes some of the published books i’ve read and loved. you are such a talent it drives me crazy. you’ve quite literally spoiled fanfiction for me because i’ll read something for a different fandom and think “ugh it’s good but it’s not betweenthings2😔😔😔”

i saw you answer an ask a while ago asking what your goal for writing is and you said something along the lines of wanting to move people with your work. when i saw that it made me smile because you’ve achieved it ten times over and im worried you don’t realise it!!! so im going to tell you about my experience reading Roadkill for the first time (side note but in my opinion this is your best and therefore most underrated piece and i would love to talk about it further)

i remember being at a cafe that day by myself having a little drink and sweet treat and getting the email notification that you’d posted something to ao3 and nearly dying from anticipation for the rest of the day because i knew i wouldn’t do the fic justice to just quickly read it in a noisy cafe. it would be a waste of art. so in the evening i lied to my parents that i had plans with friends and wouldn’t be home for dinner and instead walked to the park near my house with a block of chocolate and sat on a park bench in the slightly-chilly-but-still-nice-out australian dusk. trust me i remember it so vividly because it’s like a core memory for me now. i’d been going through a really tough time mentally and felt super disconnected from everything and everyone. when i tell you i read all 35k words in one sitting and wept like a baby. i’m a very emotional girl dont get me wrong but the release that your writing made me feel was something so special that i’d never felt before. the whole piece is so devastating and confronting and just misery but it made me feel so seen and whole and human. if i could describe your writing in one word i think it would be human. everything is always raw and vulnerable and messy but so tender it just makes me insane. i sat in that park and cried for such a long time and even though the whole experience was so heavy and i could feel the grief you manufactured in my gut i left that park feeling lighter and grounded. i think that’s how anyone would feel after witnessing such greatness. (side note but i’ve actually banned myself from re-reading roadkill for the minute because it makes me lose my mind a bit too much but that’s just a further testament to you. can’t wait to get back to my scripture later on)

your other fics on ao3 and perfect as well and i read Second Letter From St Julian, All This Barley Getting By, I Forget A Lot Of Things But I’ll Never Forget You and Me And You vs Them religiously. they are my comfort fics through and through🩷 maybe the hyper fixation has gone too deep for me but when i’m trying to fall asleep i use the plots of your fics to expand on in my head and it’s just the perf combination to lull me to sleep.

now for imo the main event of this ask- i need to tell you the extreme and life threatening brainrot THIS specific line from Of Bouquets And Back Rubs has given me.

"Sorry," Matty apologizes.

George sighs, but doesn't stop. "I'm going to start talking to your therapist if you keep apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for," he says.

what the hell. you can’t just write that and expect my whole world to not revolve around it for the rest of my life. that line ping pongs around my head at all times. at work, in the shower, when i’m on a walk, when i’m laying in bed, it’s literally always on my mind. i don’t know why but i just thought you should know that’s it’s STUCK with me. like i’m truly affected. (if you ever wanted to expand on it you know you have at least one devoted fan of the idea)

hopefully this will be my first of many asks because it’s so nice to finally tell you how deeply in love i am with your words. to hold me accountable i’ll claim the matcha emoji 🍵 if that’s something you do!!!!

i just realised i didn’t tell you how your prompts make me melt but they do and i wouldn’t survive the commute to tafe without them. just little bites of pure literature you spoil us so much.

thanks for giving me something to lurk on and obsess over- it’s been an honour🩷 (also ps i wonder if you can figure out who this is based on the freaky amount of times i heart your posts. someone has to sit me down and explain that this isn’t instagram🤕)

Hi, newly christened Matcha Anon!! =)

I meant to answer this yesterday, but I just kept reading through it and being so incredibly touched and blown away by all of your kind words that I didn't entirely have a response, but I think I do now. I will also be long.

First of all, I am so touched (and a little surprised) that you find my writing to be on par with published novels, so thank you so much, that is such an amazing compliment!!! I can't believe I've spoiled you for fic. I'm getting back into the swing of things now that I'm home, so I'll have more fic for you soon.

I'm also so glad to hear that I've creating something moving. Sometimes I think I take things a little too seriously, particularly writing fic, but I'm thrilled to hear that you find my work moving. This will be stuck in my head forever:

"it would be a waste of art."

Roadkill was a lot to write because it gets so bleak and some of me is in there, but I'm so moved by your experience of reading it and honored that you would share it. That's my goal, generally--to create catharsis. And to see my fanfic called greatness? Oh my god. Oh my god. I have no words other than oh my god and thank you so, so much!!

I'm thrilled to see that Of Bouquets and Backrubs resonated with you, particularly that bit of dialogue. That whole fic was a little bit last minute, to be entirely honest and I was working so hard to make it fluffy, rather than angsty. I might expand on that fic in the future, but I also really like how it ended. Who knows what will happen. I don't.

I'm also so happy that you like the prompts! I think they're really fun to write and very low stakes for me. Apologies for not having a more regular schedule for posting anything, but there's no way I could keep that up for more than a week or two. I would explode.

Thank you so much for all the compliments and reading what I write!!! 💚💚💚

[bbyquokka]

this is five days overdue but–it's been one year since i started writing!! (5th august 2022)

i wrote stormy night on a whim. i had the urge to start writing for skz (and in general) so i posted the fic and decided that if it was received well, i would continue and if not then at least i tried and well–one year later, here i am still ! 🙊

quick thank you to all the people that have given me love and support on this site. for the people that have encouraged me with ideas and motivated me in many ways. for the people that have proof read and reassured me during my lowest. thank you to all my moots for being here with me on this journey. i know i don't speak to some of you but from the interactions i have had with you all, you're all very nice, lovely, supportive and welcoming people!

some honourable mentions + more below cut;

@sstarryoong – you have encouraged me and reassured me with certain/sensitive ideas i have had. you were one of the very first people that started to consistently give me feedback and one of the first i started to interact with on this site. we would feed off each other chaotic energy and delulu thoughts to the point where i would end up writing them 🙊 it got to the point where we became so in love with each others art/writings that we did a collab together and i couldnt have asked for a better person to collab with. seeing you grow as a person and seeing your art and writing grow is amazing to watch (i feel like a parent watching their child on their first day of school ngl) you deserve all the love in the world and even though we dont talk on the daily, i am always here for you and i love you very much ‹3

@oshimee – my other half. my twin. my heart. i sadly dont remember when we started to talk (memory of a goldfish) but it feels like we have been speaking/known each other forever! we are so alike in so many ways, in fact, we are very very similar (aside from the obvious) our similarity goes as far down to our PARENTS!! LIKE BRO WHEN I FOUND THAT OUT ABOUT OUR MOTHERS ?!?!? aosudhasod!!! our biases are the sunshine twins themselves so clearly its a sign. it's just a shame it's taken this long for us to find each other :( we talk on the daily and we never run out of things to say, regardless. talking to you everyday is so normal to me that a day w.o you would be hella weird :/ you too, have also given me strength. picked me up during the roughest of moments and told me it's going to be ok, so thank you for that and ilysm (more than you love me. end off :*) ‹3‹3‹3

@alyszaen – your chaotic and high energy at times makes me feel all buzzed and high energy too. to be able to share things with you (especially jisung related) and seeing the response back makes my excitement feel worth. the fics you write are sweet enough to make my teeth rot and sad enough to make me crumble. you deserve happiness and love and i hope to see you grow into a beautiful person. regardless of what you do/write, remember that there are people that care and support you in more ways than one. ‹3

im not very good with words (online and irl lmao) and im super nervous to post this but just know that i am thankful for everything and everyone, regardless. at times, the love and support has been overwhelming (but in a good way!!)

i have big and many things planned for the future. lots and lots of ideas (just need to actually sit and write them) so i hope everyone will continue on with this journey with me!

once again, thank you all and ily!! ‹3‹3

[crystallizedkingdoms]

Tempo

day 3 of @johann-appreciation-week! this one is an ijiraq au fic. those who know already know. those who dont: Avi is an ijiraq, an inuk shape-shifting spirit that can turn into many different forms but will Always have solid red eyes. Johann’s some rich musician guy who came to Everwinter (extremely clever I know) in search of a break and inspiration for his music. super self indulgent but thog don’t caare

you can also read this on ao3 <3

Johann measures the tempo of the things around him almost subconsciously. It’s a guarantee that if you spot him with nothing to do, his fingers are idly tapping a steady pulse to a song that only he seems to understand. If you ask him about it, then he’ll look at you a little weirdly, but he’ll explain it to you plain and simple: life has a tempo, but it is never constant.

This thought comes to mind as Johann sits alone in his Everwinter cabin. Johann’s life in Neverwinter used to have a much faster pace. All the events went by so quickly, so fleeting, even the pace at which he moved and walked used to be so much faster. So the sudden shift when he landed in Everwinter, a tiny hamlet with a much slower pace, Johann felt completely out of sync. Everything about Everwinter is so much slower.

There’s always something… missing, too. Johann feels that skip now as he’s doing it against the dining room table. The tempo of Everwinter’s song, andante and steady, feels like gritting teeth until— there! Johann’s fingers pause and hover over the mahogany table, something he would never do willingly. It doesn’t sound right to leave that strange rest there, but to fill it in with anything other than silence somehow felt even worse.

Well, there’s nothing anyone can do about that. There are other things to do around the house other than worrying about something so small, after all.

Johann sits up from the dinner table and makes his way around the house. His kitchen is messy, which is normal for him, but his living room is strangely amiss. His couch is off kilter, his coffee table shifted slightly and covered in wrappers of food he can’t recall eating, and nothing felt quite right. Johann doesn’t remember when it got like this, but it was sloppy on his part. How can he just leave it like this, when Rowan and Antonia are due to visit him tomorrow?

Though they wouldn’t be coming until late evening tomorrow, Johann still felt the need to make his house presentable. Some part of him is anxious to make it look good in a way he usually doesn’t feel any other night his closest neighbours come to visit him. It is a restless, speeding rhythm in his nerves that urges him to take action for an imaginary audience that might be watching him, scrutinizing his home.

So, he hops right to work. Johann hums to the faster rhythm in his body as he cleans around the living room. It wouldn’t hurt to clean a little early, right? That’s, like, the opposite of something to be embarrassed about.

Cleaning up the living room, Johann’s attention wanders to the life of Everwinter he’s starting to grow accustomed to in his months of staying in this tundra home. Winter is in full swing, complete darkness shrouding the entire village. Ren, the sweet elf working the bar who tries so hard to strike up conversation with Johann, now wears the fluffiest parka he has ever seen. Klarg, who works at the grocery store, has the fluffiest coat of fur Johann has ever seen on him. Even Cassidy is more insistent in urging Johann into her house when she sees him out, insisting that the constant darkness opens up room for spirits to attack him.

Everyone is gearing up for something harsh. Everyone is trying to welcome Johann into their cold, slow lives. Johann wouldn’t object to it so much if he had more time…

In a flash, Johann is finished with the cleaning. The trash is thrown into the bin, his couch and table corrected, and even his rug looked better now that everything looked right. Though his vision has suddenly grown hazy and unfocused, Johann can tell it looks better. Yes, this looked fine and presentable. He had other things around the house to do, though, and he had to do them quickly—

“…Johann! Are you even listening to me? Are you okay?” A voice asks Johann from behind, which shouldn’t be possible, he lives alone…

Without warning, a large hand rests on Johann’s shoulder. It is freezing cold on his bare shoulder, so cold that it sends shivers across his entire body.

The sudden contact shatters Johann’s rhythm and he jumps away. “Who the fuck are you?? Get out!” he screams and tries to swat at the hand. He whips his body around to get a better look at the intruder. “Get out, get out! Who do you fucking think you are, you freak…”

“Woah…! Johann, relax. It’s me, remember?” the voice says. Johann’s eyes finally focus clearly on the figure in front of him: a large man with a heavy parka is standing in front of him with his hands held up in a protective position. His loose, long brown hair frames his face handsomely. What really catches Johann’s attention, however, is the soft glow of the man’s solid red eyes staring right into his own.

It’s always the eyes that bring Johann’s memories back.

The sensation is not painful, but it’s not pleasant either. It’s a sudden re-injection of every single memory he’s ever had with this man all at once being neatly slotted back into the gasps in his head like they had never left. Even when Johann has gone through this process many times over the past few months, the sensation still makes his head feel fuzzy and full.

“Avi…” The name rolls off Johann’s tongue so easily. How is it that he can forget this name when it affects him so much? “Avi— okay, we need a new system for you to get my attention. That wasn’t as bad as the last few times, but I still freaked out.”

“Sorry! You were just… not listening to me when I was tapping on the door or when I was calling you. I was getting worried,” Avi apologies, wringing his hands together. For such a tall spirit, with all the capacity to be incredibly threatening, Avi always acts all shy and anxious when Johann scolds him.

Johann rubs the side of his neck awkwardly. He should be used to this by now, but something about it still terrifies him. “That’s… understandable. But it’s over. Nice to see you again, Avi,” he says, trying to move on from their unfortunate greeting.

Avi looks a little less inclined to give it up so quickly. He leans down to Johann’s height and presses his nose on Johann’s cheek, then takes in a deep breath right against his skin. “You’re not mad at me, right?” he asks, his mouth so close to Johann.

Johann sighs and leans into Avi’s kunik. It still gave Johann butterflies in his stomach that Avi did this with him. “No, I’m not mad at you. This was my fault. I don’t get why I’m still so jumpy,” he says. He pulls away from Avi to sit down on the couch next to them.

Avi smiles and sits right next to Johann. “I’ll try to get better, anyway,” he says. His arm snakes itself around Johann’s shoulders, slow and steady in a clear attempt to be sneaky. Johann doesn’t mention it, if only to make Avi feel better. “What’s the rush today, anyway? You looked like you were entering your deep cleaning mode.”

Johann leans his head onto Avi’s chest. “Rowan and Antonia are coming over tomorrow night. And because of our… activities last night, my place has been a mess,” he stresses the ‘activities’ with a curt glare at Avi, who pretends he doesn’t see it. “So I was just starting to clean my place up early. My kitchen is still a mess, though.”

Avi nuzzles his face into Johann’s hair and shifts some of his weight onto him. “I’ll help you with that later. Let’s relax a little right now?” he begs. Avi’s weight is comforting, and although it doesn’t quite match the sensation Johann feels when Avi gazes at him, Johann’s body relaxes in an instant…

But he shouldn’t. “Avi, no, I can’t. I have things to do. I was in such a good groove, too. I’ll lose my motivation,” Johann insists. He tries to get up and tear himself away, but an ice-cold hand wraps around Johann’s wrist before he can move too far.

It can be hard for Avi to express certain things with his eyes. Johann once had a lot of trouble understanding those little hints Avi kept trying to give him, but just didn’t work with his eyes. Now, however, it’s incredibly hard to ignore the sense of longing that pierces Johann’s heart. “Come on, Johann. Stay with me?” Avi pleads. “You don’t have to rush. Just take it slow.”

There it was again. The call of something slow, something unfamiliar. Johann is surrounded by it constantly. It beckons him closer in the most convincing ways, telling him that he can switch. That he can make himself home here. Johann tries to remind himself he can’t get used to it.

You’re not staying here forever. You can’t keep giving him hope.

“…Fine,” Johann finally gives in. What’s a cuddle going to do in the long run, anyway? “Only if you take that parka off of you, Avi.” He sits back down on the couch, his hands reaching up to run circles across the dense fur that Avi’s parka is made of. “It’s nice, but a bit too bulky for relaxing, isn’t it?”

“Oh, but Johann, aren’t you cold? It’s the middle of winter, and I’m… well, you know.”

Johann raises his head to look Avi straight in his glowing red eyes. He doesn’t say anything— only stares right into those comforting eyes as he trails his hands up into the collar of Avi’s parka. Johann wordlessly slips his hands into the opening, and his fingertips lightly grazes the skin of Avi’s neck. The two of them close their eyes and shudder; Johann’s hands grow an unearthly cool while Avi’s neck melts at the touch of that sweet warmth.

That convinces Avi. He pulls away from Johann to pull the qulittuq off of his body (like a normal person, unfortunately— Johann kind of wanted to see him dematerialize it in the magical way he occasionally does), leaving him only in a thinner undershirt. Johann’s hands wander on their own, one leading up to Avi’s cheek, and the other resting right on his chest. It’s cold, so cold, but the sensation of Avi’s skin against his palms is all he needs.

“You’re still so warm, even in winter,” Avi gasps. He nuzzles his face into Johann’s soft hands. Johann can’t help but admire how relaxed Avi’s face is, how his long eyelashes flutter in a way that makes Johann’s heart skip. Serene is the only way Johann can describe Avi's gorgeous face.

How can Johann resist that face?

Warm lips press against Avi’s cold ones. Johann’s eyes are closed as he’s kissing him with a sudden fervor, cradling Avi’s face with his one hand to keep him steady. Avi’s kissing back less feverishly, but there’s a hunger in how he pushes himself onto Johann. The two of them are kissing as hard as they can, hot and cold blending together in this moment that Johann wishes could last forever. Tempo didn’t matter here— they just kissed. Seconds, minutes, Johann couldn’t tell the specifics. All he can tell himself is that the time is just right.

Johann pulls himself away from their kiss for a breath. His face warms up slightly when it’s not right up against Avi’s. Time and all its speeds crash down on him once again, and he feels himself falling out of sync in an instant.

When Johann opens his eyes, Avi’s are already wide open. Johann’s starting to think Avi doesn’t actually close them when they kiss, which he’s not totally sure how to feel about. He does come to the conclusion that those eyes are at least not an unwelcome sight to see after kissing him. “You look beautiful,” Johann says, out of breath, but so deeply in love. “You’re so pretty, Avi.”

Avi gets all flustered when Johann compliments him. His gaze shifts to the side and the room becomes just a little bit colder. “Where’s— where’s this coming from, huh?” he asks. “I’m supposed to be the cheesy one. Don’t steal my job!”

Johann kisses Avi’s cheek like it’s the most delicate glass in the world. Then, he tilts his nose closer to Avi’s skin, and inhales long and slow. Johann’s kuniit were always a little more awkward than Avi’s, but he was getting the hang of it. Avi smiles even harder, the small tunniit on the corner of his lips twisting upwards when he can’t control how much he’s grinning. “I just wanted to say it,” Johann says. He rests his head on Avi’s chest, cuddling up into his body as best as he could. “You just look very cute.”

Avi doesn’t say anything in response. Instead, he tightens his grip around Johann’s body, and that’s exactly what Johann needed. The weight and squeeze of those large arms ground Johann in a way he has never felt before, and just like that, he is certain he can live in this embrace for centuries. If only he had the time…

Johann’s ear is right up against Avi’s chest when he can hear a heartbeat. It is faint and slower than a normal, non-spirit being’s heartbeat, but how distinct it was from any of the other hearts Johann has listened to in the past.

Oh, yes, he can hear it now— and his fingers press into the palm of Avi’s hand to tap along to it: the missing section of Everwinter’s tempo. Soft and faint, adagio. Out of sync in its own way, yet still slotting itself inside the greater tune seamlessly. The melody feels complete now.

Just another thing Johann will never experience in Everwinter. Another thing he’s ready to steal.

[tallkfandomtome]

Originally posted on previous reblog and then edited out bc I feel like I should have it on my own profile.

10 years ago or so (just turned 30 in sept), I've found a fic in a word doc, nameless. When I read it it was super familiar, and I could've easly forgotten I wrote it. Still, I "corrected some errors" posted it on ffnet, and said in the descrption: I found this on my docs. If its anyones, let me know. I love your wtiting. Or something of the sort. (Already mistake n°1) That was uploaded for like a year. Then I figured after no one recclamied it that was actually something I wrote. Like a dumbass I deleted that description and lo and behold, someone came 1) saying a was a a son of a bitch for stealing someone's work and 2) the actual author.

Ofc I was super embarrased and ashamed. I profusely apologized, took the fic down inmediatly and apologized again. I also made a statement in my bio and said everything that happened, apologizing again.

I think about this still bc I still feel bad. As an actual writer myself, something like this happeining to me would wreck me. The autor was super nice and I truly hope they've forgiven me for it.

They said something, I remember, that really hurt me even, lol, and that is "check if some other of your works are not someone else's and you upload them by mistake as well".

Gosh. It felt awfwl. Bc ofc they would make that assumption. That was the only and last time I would ever do that, but they had no real way of knowing that.. it still stings a bit.

After that ofc I never saved anymore fics in random word docs. But what I'm trying to say is that what JS and these other "creators" do is very different from these stupid, shitty mistakes that can still happen. We are small creators. I never was nor am a famous fic write,nor want to ever be tbh. I write bc i cant help it. Bc even with everything, i love it. I put a lot of effort and time into it (when i'm able to sit down and do it, i mean). Thats why I still feel like shit. Thats why i'm saying all this. This is something that i did and if i could, I would still be apologizing to the author.

JS and the others... dont. They dont care. They feel as if all this is an attack TO them. Its insane and horrible. They have no remorse for these other creators without a popular platform like theirs, who's works they're citing verbatim. That its truly mean and intentional.

If the author reads this by chance, I'm sorry. Hope you're still writing. ♡♡

[starlightkun]

okay im back so the post i linked to that was deleted was something along the lines of like "when my wife leaves for work i sit and face the wall and wait for her to come home" which was very changer and buzzer beater sungchan to me.

I did notice that your archived some of your old fics cause like another recent anon i have been reading your works since like 2019 (home was my first fic of yours and then the sleeping cinderella series and three kept me coming back) and yeah i get it there is a difference between some of your old fics and your fics from like three onwards and as a longtime fan its really nice to see how you've grown as an author.

as for the height inclusivity, i do completely understand cause there are many gorgeous, tall women out there but your comment about how kun is 1 inch taller than you was really funny to me cause like, you really said they ain't shit 💀💀💀 as for myself im 161cm so i know that if i was to meet renjun id probably reach his eyebrows or maybe his hairline if i was really lucky but in spirit im the same height as xiaojun, renjun, taeil and ten and if we met id like to imagine that we'd all be mischievous little gremlins together. (random side note i watched the fnaf movie the other day and josh hutcherson is like 165cm, he's bestie babygirl height but you wouldn't know it cause he's got a bit of a beefcake build and most of the movie was solo shots so you didnt have many chances to compare him to other people. on the other hand, matthew lillard, who plays the bad guy, is 192CM! there was a scene where hes standing at a desk as josh hutch leaves the room and it looks like matthew is standing on a platform cause of how big the height difference is). also you're right that sicheng is kind of considered tall now in comparison to the rest of wayv cause now that dozen left, its literally just one tall dude and 5 toddlers (also have you seen that clip of wayv being lowered off the stage standing all cool and shit like the avengers or something but the thing doesn't lower enough and they all have to duck and run off stage?) but yeah inclusion is super important and it really does detract from fics for me when im supposed to be a curvaceous blonde with blue eyes 💀

yeah when i was talking about the loserxloser typewriter content i was referring to baby fangs i just got confused cause of all the teeth related wip names (im slowly losing it i swear) but i didn't think that the bite would also have loser content? from the description i definitely thought it was just an enemies to lovers which personally isn't my favourite trope just cause when i dont like someone i find it really hard to see them as attractive at all but like it seems like its becoming more of an idiots to lovers instead and i am SO EXCITED because single parent aus are one of my favourite things.

yeah idk as someone who's short the centimetres or inches don't really matter to me when it comes to tall people cause either way they're gonna be taller than me (when it comes to other short people it matters very much because im competitive) so like people taller than me are either shorter than a fridge (average) or taller than a fridge (big boi bodacious/daddy long legs/step on me mummy)

also yeah i did really love how you showed how delusionally whipped love bites reader was for sungchan as well and i wouldnt be suprised if taro moves out within the next week from how his mathletes career was belittled.

I CANT BELIEVE YOU DIDNT REALISE THE INNUENDO BEFORE OH MY GOD i guess you were in big brain author mode when you were writing it and i was in gremlin 13 year old boy mode when i read it but the idea that you wrote it being completely genuine is SENDING ME. just werewolf sungchan making someones hole ache :( ❤️. I am so sorry for ruining your wonderfully crafted wholesome moment with this thought lmao (i remember you talking about wattpads feature to comment on individual paragraphs and now im wondering if anyone there has a dirty mind and picked up on it like i did or were moved by sungchans sweet apology instead)

as for the timeline, i did not expect romance is dead to be around the middle but then again i didnt really know much about how it fit contextually anyways. I also need to brush up on my american college language and term structure cause like freshman, sophomore, junior, senior like i kinda get but like sophomore sounds really fancy and junior is well, junior so i thought they would be flipped. Also in australia our school year starts at the beginning of the year and ends at the end cause summer is dec-feb but i forgot that its all flipped for you guys (the way the dreamies release really summery tracks in july but im listening to them as i sit indoors, wrapped in blankets)

also yeah i didnt expect pupsick to be before tdhea just cause of how present jeno was and you're right, he didn't do too much meddling in tdhea and was just kinda there but i genuinely just attributed it to being a personality thing cause there is no world where i can imagine him being more scheming than chenle, jaemin and hyuck 😭😭😭. but you saying "he was just kinda there......bc he had nothing better to do while pupsick!reader was at study sessions 😔 very conveniently-timed study sessions and bakery shifts without jeno that leave jeno completely free to be in every relevant scene for tdhea... aw shucks 😔😔😔" killed me. this poor little sad puppy man has to spend time with his friends cause his wonderful gf has a job and responsibilities :(

also love the note you added to the recent reblog of nipplejun. he is my little whore and i love him. the way i cheered seeing him show off his nipples like they're accessories made me feel like a supportive friend watching my small, shy bff transform into a small beefcake male stripper. also yes his bone structure is insane it continues to be insane like the lines created by his eyebrows, cheekbones and jaw make him snatched like a tiktok beauty influencer. desperately need him and bella hadid to meet cause 1. shes bella fucking hadid, 2. her name is bella and id love to see jun kinda awkwardly yet endearingly try to explain that to her that she shares the same name as his dog, 3. shes taller than him and would probably be wearing heels if they were meeting at an event so i would love to see him staring up at her 4. the FACE that would be served if they were in the same room?!

love you lots as well, i'm so happy that you enjoy my messages and that they make you smile :)

- ✨anon

under the cut bestie <33

omg "i sit and face the wall and wait for my wife to come home" is soooo changer!sc-coded ur so right (bb!sungchan does unfortunately have a collegiate hockey career or smth to attend to while his gf is away 😔)

and omggg another starlightkun veteran wow 🫶🫶 im really happy with the growth that i've made and im so happy that you've stuck around for so long 💗💗💗🫂🫂🫂

i remember josh hutchison being short but i didnt remmeber how short omg. also matthew lillard being so tall just feels right.

listen i do think that kun is one of the most gorgeous men i've ever seen. but i also am not so delulu that i think that one inch height difference is gonna do shit teebeeaych. like his official height is 176cm which is the same as donghun from a.c.e (i ult average-height kings apparently), who i have been face-to-face with (and physically touched, his hand was so warm 🥹💗) at a hi-touch event and he (and all of a.c.e) lowkey looked tinie to me lol 🫶

when it comes to ppl irl being taller/shorter than me i was always kinda tall growing up (usually one of the tallest in my class at school), then around high school i stopped being considered "tall" by the other kids bc the boys my age finally hit puberty and i stopped growing at 172cm/5'8" so i stopped considering myself to be tall and just sort of....average? except NOW i work in a weirdly short office. like my coworkers are all so short that i feel tall again 😭 truly height is relative. we have maybe 3 ppl in the whole office (out of 30+ employees) who are 180cm/6ft or more and NOBODY is over 187cm/6'2. i s2g most of the men are shorter than me, i feel like i could step on them and there is only one woman who is taller than me and she's probably only an inch or two taller than me, not considerably so. height soooo relative tbh 😭😭

as for taro in love bites, he for sure says he's going to move out like one a week but he would never, he loves bickering w changer!mc too much

SUNGCHAN WAS RLLY JUST TRYING TO BE THE SWEETEST BOY EVER AND APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING READER SO SAD WHEN THEY WERE BOTH PINING SEPARATELY AND MEANWHILE I HAVE LITTLE GREMLINS READING MY FICS 🫵🫵🫵 but honestly i should have realized what "aching hole" sounded like 😭 bc i can now never unhear it thanks 😭😭😭 (and no, nobody on wattpad has pointed it out if they've noticed lmao)

i never thought abt how the flipped seasons would change your school schedule but that makes complete sense! i always hear abt ppl in the southern hemisphere going to the beach on christmas (we also did that in florida to be fair, but it wasn't quite warm enough to go in the water)

yeah i do default to northern hemisphere season and usamerican university years/semesters bc that's how the flow of time makes sense in my brain and that's how it's easiest to keep track of the timelines in fics for me as i'm writing since it's what i'm accustomed to, but i'm sure it can be disorienting for ppl whose countries don't work like that, that's why i generally try not to make it too overt if it's not relevant to the plot of the fic. the timeline was just a fun little extra thing i was curious about if anybody had picked up on

literally the way dejun was holding the sides of the jacket open specifically to show off his nips like bestie at this point just unzip the jacket all the way 😭 and universe aint even anywhere close to a stripper song either he was wildin for naurrr reason i love his dramatic ass so much truly 💗💗💗

im always happy to hear from u and i hope you're doing well 🫶🫂💗

[himbos-hotline]

so, i’ve been wanting to write for quite a while now but i have no idea where to start. everything i write is terrible (the sentences sound weird, grammar is horrible since english isn’t my first language and it’s just bad in general) and i know that’s normal when starting out but i just don’t know what to do. I know i have to write to get better but it’s so difficult when everything i write is bad.

and i actually really really admire your writing and i thought maybe you had any tips for beginner writers i guess? you don’t have to answer and i’m sorry if this is weird, i just kind of wanted to ask.

also, i think my anon emoji is 💫 or ✨ i can’t remember exactly ;3;

/nf /gen

heya anon, my dear friend. I have been staring at this ask since it came in because it honestly surprised me. It's been a while since I have written something ive felt okay enough posting mostly cuz nobody requests things anymore from me which makes me sad. But I am happily slowly starting to write again which makes me happy.

I am so overwhelmed by the fact that someone looks up to my writing and its okay and totally not weird at all for this ask to well be asked. I dont know if i have any helpful advice but I will try my best.

Write. I know its not the best advice but work on writing everyday. Set yourself a wordcount even if its just 10 words a day and just write. Whatever comes to mind for a specific thing just work them out.

Ask someone who speaks the language youre writing in. If youre writing in english you can always ask an english speaking friend to check through your work to edit or suggest word choices.

have someone sit on the google docs with you and live edit. My big sibling sits with me whenever I write or a friend

Keep a shedule. Writing at the same time helps get your brain focused. I write better at night and I work on whatever fic my brain chooses to focus on. Chewing gum also helps me focus.

Dont worry what youre writing. It may look messy or not flow right but getting the ideas on paper or on a google docs or whatever else people use to write. Getting the basic idea out is always great because you can go back and work and edit it whenever you have the motivation

Dont force writing. If you have no ideas or just cant work on a specific fic dont force it becuase it will fell like a task. working on fanfics or original writing is always meant too be fun. Take breaks.

word building or making up characters or character details anything like that counts as writing!Making character playlists or moodboards counts as writing. I love making stuff surrounding my fics.

I am always here to help friend, no matter what ill try to help the best I can. I am here to edit fics or bounce ideas off or whatever.

If any of my followers have any other advice im sure they'll add on to help.

Just remember that im proud of you for working on a skill thats super hard and its okay to struggle.

[arodabi]

okay, i’m finally getting around to writing this, and uhh ill say its for aro week too. this is written as an aro person directed at alloromantic people. when i refer to writing, i’m kind of using it as a general term for creative works. Here’s me throwing my hat in on the question:

Can you ship aromantic characters?

and my answer is,,,,, actually a question. Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? 

I want alloros to realize that for a lot of aros, we do not get to see ourselves represented often. I can actually count on like one hand how many popular canon aro characters there are, and on the whole, none of their identities are respected. people constantly try to weasel their way out of actually writing aro characters, or they just ignore or deny their identity outright. fandom spaces (hell creative spaces in general) are at best not welcoming to aros, and at worst actively hostile towards us. So when the first question brought up when a character gets canonically confirmed as aro is “okay cool but can i ship them???” or “that’s nice but how can i still write about my fave ship that involves them??” i want to fucking scream. its a slap to the face and it shows that people really do not give a shit about aros. you say stuff like that and all i hear is “my fictional ship is so much more important than representing your marginalized minority identity” so instead of me just sitting here and saying “yes you can totally ship aro characters, as long as you’re respectful!!!” i’m saying “can you stop and think why you want to shove an aro character into a romantic relationship at the first chance you get?? maybe you have some arophobia you haven’t worked on?? maybe since we live in an amatonormative world, you’re letting that influence your views??” because that question being the first thing out of your mouth when you see a character you like confirmed as aro? that’s already disrespectful towards aros in my book.

So back to my question, Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? is it because you can’t write characters without them being in romantic relationships? or because you think a character without a romantic relationship is boring? Because if so, that’s a bad reason and it sounds like amatonormativity is rotting your brain. 

Is it because you just really like a ship with the aro character? Because you can write two characters with a strong relationship without writing them as a couple. A strong friendship can hold just as much power as a romantic relationship.

Is it because fuck aros, i will write what I wanna write and I don't wanna write this character with their canon identity? because then you’re just an arophobic asshole that needs to work on your shitty opinions. aro representation is just as important as any other lgbtqia+ representation.

Now if you’re reading this and thinking “well i heard aros can be in queerplatonic relationships!” I want you to think for a second. Are you writing a qpr or are you writing a romantic relationship with the serial numbers filed off? Have you talked to aro people or read stuff actually written by us? because, yes, some qprs can look a lot like a romantic relationship from the outside, but that’s just it, you’re looking at it from the outside. qprs are more than just “romantic relationship with extra steps”, and i think it’s really telling how many times i see alloromantic people saying they’re depicting an aro character in a qpr, not a romantic relationship, but then they never ever make any effort to distinguish the qpr from any other romantic relationship they write or draw. It just feels like qprs are getting used by alloros as a gatcha any time an aro person objects to how they depict (or don’t depict) aromanticism. if you want to write a character in a qpr then go for it! but you need to actually do research, talk to aros, get multiple opinions and not just take the first opinion that agrees with you and run with it.

“But what about headcanoning a character as arospec?” now i will say before i go into this, i am aro, not arospec, so if an arospec person wants to come in and correct me at any part here im happy to listen. but my problem when alloros bring up arospec identities is a very similar problem to how qprs are often depicted. I remember when Peridot Stevenuniverse got confirmed aro (she did, do not argue this with me) people were jumping over themselves to assure everyone that “a character getting confirmed as aro just means they are any arospec identity” which,, uhh,, not true? i mean if an arospec person wants to see a canon aro character as, say, aroflux, i’ve got no problem, aro and arospec people can do what they want really. but, i do have a problem with all the alloro fans who were spreading this. because, do you really see the character as demiromantic? or are you using that identity to deflect criticism from erasing aro identities? are you actually trying to write a good depiction of a demiro person? or are you just writing normal ship stuff and slapping a “uwu ive never felt romantic attraction until i met you! and now i will act exactly like any alloromantic person!” at the beginning? being in fandom spaces, i do see the occasional fic actually depicting an aspec identity (i say aspec her because aro is so rare that most of these examples i’ve seen have been acespec identities rather than arospec) but like 99% of the time, that’s written by someone who actually shares the identity. before you use our terms and identities to cover your ass when you erase us, consider not fucking doing that. consider listening to all aros and getting our thoughts and input. 

And last here is “but what about romance positive aros?” now i think most of what i’ve said previously can be applied here. the only thing i wanna add is, i think its very interesting that almost every time i see non aros depict aros, they always write them as very into romance, very open to be in romantic relationships, and very quiet about their aro identity. despite the character in canon not showing any of these traits. romance positive aros are good and important, but not every aro is romance positive. there’s quite a few of us that are romance repulsed, and alloros only depicting aros as super romance positive no matter what is suspicious to say the least. if an aro character is shown to be open to participating in romantic activities in canon then of course write them that way. but if an aro character is shown to be uninterested in, or even actively against romantic activities then respect that too.

so, to wrap up my thoughts in this ramble: please ask yourself why you want to ship aro characters so bad, because if the only reason is that amatonormativity has brainwashed you into not being able to write, or draw, or do anything with a character without them being in a romantic relationship, then you uhhh need to work on that, that’s honestly a writing/creative flaw imo. if you like the relationship dynamic between an aro character and another character, consider making them friends. friendship is not less powerful than romantic relationships. nobody is ever too old for the power of friendship trope. If you’re erasing an aro character’s identity because fuck aros, then fuck off somewhere far away from me and work on your bullshit. qprs, arospec identities, and romance positive aros are all very real, very important parts of the aro community, but please talk to other aros about them and actually make an effort to understand how these things work, dont just assume. And also don’t use these things as a way to erase aro identities and cover your ass if get called out. its disrespectful towards all aros.

The most important thing to do before writing or creating work with aro characters is to talk to aros, and not just the aros that agree with you. look up what a qpr actually is, learn how aros experience their arospec identities, talk to aros with multiple outlooks on romance. and if you can’t bring yourself to reach out, at least read through our own writings, whether that’s fiction, or informational posts, fuck, look through our memes if u wanna. Just please actually make an effort.

So, Can you ship aro characters? its complicated. look at trends in your fandom, question why you want to, and do research. Be an aro ally, listen to us. That’s really the most important thing.

[katyasrussianaccent]

you’re so golden (corpse x reader)

Summary: You’re a faceless youtuber that sings cover songs. What happens when a certain faceless streamer slides into your DMs after you cover one of his songs?

Authors note: Part 3 whoop! I havent written fic in 3 years so Im hoping this is okay. Its about 4000 words, super long, sorry. I also dont play Among Us, but hopefully its not too obvious. Lemme know what you think!

You're nervous, though you aren’t quite sure why. The kind of nervousness that spreads to your feet, causing you to tap your toes against the side of your sofa.

Call you in 15. 

You look at the message again, staring at it till the screen goes blurry. Rubbing your eyes you exhale into the emptiness of your apartment; a feeble attempt at calming yourself down.

Logically it’s stupid to be nervous over a phone call. Logically you know that in the grand scheme of the universe, there are bigger things at hand. But you’re not a logical person, never have been. You’re all heart and emotion, both a blessing and a curse. There’s something intimate about a phone call, to have nothing but someone’s voice on the other end of the phone, talking to you and only you. It was a little scary; to think your purely online friendship with Corpse was going to be taken to a different level. You’re excited to think what that could mean.

“Fucking get it together,” you mutter to no-one as you exhale again, because there’s nothing else to do other than to wait and try to breath. There’s this frantic energy about you; like when you eat fizzy sweets, the flavour buzzing on your tongue. Your ancestors used to hunt wolves and here you were nervous over a single phone call.

The silence in your apartment’s too much now; too noisy. You grab your TV remote, clicking onto Spotify to find something. You’re scrolling so much, none of the artists feeling quite right for the moment before settling on Sufjan Stevens.

The dulcet tones fill the space, and for a brief second, you feel fine. You’re feeling relaxed and then your phone lights up.

Incoming Facetime Audio

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck” you say. Your face feels warm, your heart quickens in your chest. You could just ignore it, say you’re not feeling too good and that would be that, you wouldn’t have to do this. But it’s Corpse, you like Corpse and you’re kind of friends.

You swipe to accept the call, and press the button for speaker. 

“Hey,” you say, cringing at the meek tone your voice has taken on.

“Hey,” Corpse’s deep voice rumbles through your tiny speaker, distorting slightly and you press the volume button to turn it down a little.

There’s a beat of silence, a beat too long, and you already hate how awkward this is. You’re not great at social stuff, the concept of being a social butterfly is almost foreign to you. And it’s not because you dislike people, it’s just you hate this; the small talk, the awkwardness before you get comfortable and can hold an actual conversation.

You suddenly remember a tip from your customer service days. “How are you?” you ask, plastering on a grin so wide that it must look borderline demented. Thank god you’re single. 

“I’m okay thanks, how are you?” he asks.

You lounge back against the soft cushions of the sofa, lifting the phone up to your mouth as you do so. “I’m good, excited to be taught by the Among Us master.”

He snorts in disdain. “Hardly a master.” 

You chew your lip before you speak again, “I dunno, people on the internet think you’re pretty good.”

He snorts again, and you smile at the sound. It’s not something you’ve heard from him before, through your hours of watching his streams, you’ve become accustomed to his voice and the noises he makes. But this one seems to be new. And maybe it’s the weird, selfish part of you that likes to think he’s only ever made that sound for you. You shake the thought out of your head, because really? Getting happy over a snort is really such a ridiculous thing to do. 

“People on the internet say a lot of things.”

“True, but sometimes they speak the truth,” you reply, moving to get more comfortable; tucking your feet under your thighs. You wonder what he’s doing right now as he talks to you, is he sitting down? Or is he lying on his bed; his head propped up with pillows? There’s a brief flash of yearning, of wanting to be there in the same room as him, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared so you ignore it.

“Hm. We’ll agree to disagree.”

“Okay, you’re the boss Mr Husband.”

He chuckles softly, and again, you smile. You can feel yourself getting annoyed with yourself; you’re acting like a child with a crush; smiling at the phone. All you needed now was a notebook that had Mrs YN Husband written all over it.

“You know if you keep calling me that, we’re gonna have to get married,” he says, his voice a little lower than it was before. You blink and cock your head to the side, looking at an imaginary camera like you’re in The Office. Did you say that out loud? Is he...flirting with you? Sure, you’re flirty over Twitter, but it’s Twitter, Twitter isn’t real. There’s a fluttery feeling in your stomach at the mere prospect that he might actually be flirting with you.

“I’d be the best wife you could ever get,” you shoot back. There’s a brief second of silence before he answers, and you can hear shuffling on the other end. You want to ask what he’s doing, but you know it would break the conversation, and you’re curious to see where this goes.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” he asks, and you can picture the smirk in his voice. You have no idea what he looks like, no real care about it either, but you bet he’s got a beautiful smile. You bite your tongue before it tells him this, for once your brain actually works and stops you from making a fool out of yourself. It’s incredibly strange, how quickly he puts you at ease without a try, he’s just so naturally comforting. He’s not this flashy persona, he’s just a guy who likes to play video games and happens to be kinda good at them. And also has a voice that is literally like chocolate. Not just chocolate; dark chocolate. If dark chocolate could talk, it would sound like Corpse.

“Cos your girl can cook,” you say proudly, puffing out your chest a little. And that’s not a lie, you can cook. Okay, you’re not a Michelin starred chef, but you feel quite confident in the fact that Gordon Ramsey could eat your food, and probably (hopefully) wouldn’t scream that it was “fucking raw”. 

“And what would you cook for me?” he asks. 

You hum in thought for a second. “You’ll have to marry me first to find that out.”

He laughs, a proper laugh that settles in your stomach, spreading warmth through your chest. “I’ll think about it. I can hear music, what are you listening to?”

You straighten up a little, the question catching you off guard. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at the song that’s playing. It’s not his type of music, you’re almost positive about that. You almost don’t want to tell him out of embarrassment. You’re not sure why you feel embarrassed; you know Corpse isn’t an asshole, he wouldn’t make fun of you. But music is so personal to you, so personal, it’s like baring a piece of your soul; which sounds so fucking cliche, but it’s true.

“Uhhh...It’s called Make out in My Car by Sufjan Stevens,” you reply.

He hums in affirmation. “It sounds nice; from what I can hear.”

“I can turn it up?” you ask, leaning forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

“You could always sing some for me,” he offers. 

You laugh a little, scrunching up your nose. “And why would I do that?”

“I thought you wanted to get married. You have to woo me,” he replies.

“Woo you?” you ask, your tone incredulous. This isn’t how you pictured the conversation going.

“Yeah. Woo me, yn.” he says, dragging out the “o” causing you to laugh again.

You sigh dramatically. “I haven’t warmed up or anything, it’s gonna sound so bad” you warn as you put the song to the beginning.

“I’m sure you sound great. Go ahead, woo me.” 

You shake your head as you softly sing. “I'm not trying to go to bed with you, I just wanna make out in my car. And though I'm dying to fall in love with you, I just wanna make out in my car”. You stop and you’re suddenly very aware that you have essentially just serenaded him. Good going, brain.

It’s silent for a beat too long, and the smile that graced your lips starts to fade as the embarrassment starts to set in. 

“Well now we definitely have to get married,” he affirms. And there’s that fluttery feeling again.

You swallow, moving the conversation swiftly onto Among Us. You grab your laptop that was next to you, humming in acknowledgement as he walks you through downloading it. 

“So there’s a few of us joining us tonight, it should be really fun.”

“Oh. It’s not just us two?” you ask. You focus on the download, watching the number increase. You’re nervous at the prospect of playing with other people, strangers, for the first time. 

“No, it’s a 4 player minimum. We’re going to stream as well.”

“Corpse…” you start. You begin to pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you do whenever you get really anxious. This was meant to just be a cute moment where you learnt how to play a game, not a big event where people would be actually watching you, judging your every move.

“We’re going to do a few games off stream with you, you don’t need to be there for the stream after if you don’t want to,” he interrupts. 

“Okay,” you trail off, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip. You feel a little better, but not by much. You didn’t know who the other people were, what if they hated you? You ask this out loud.

“I’ll be there. You know Rae and Sykkuno. Felix, Sean and Toast will be there but they’re super nice, I promise.” His voice is sincere, and it soothes you. You don’t know him, not really know him, but you trust Corpse. You know he has his own struggles, and you believe his promise; he wouldn’t screw you over or put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with.

The rest of the call is him taking you through how to play and how to set up something called Proximity Chat so everyone can talk to each other in the game. He says it’s easier once you actually play, and it doesn’t sound particularly hard quite honestly, you just hope you don’t get imposter on the first try because you’re not the greatest liar. 

The game screen pops up, and you type in the code that Corpse gives you. You say goodbye to Corpse, who tells you to text him if you need any help. You drop into the game lobby, and you look at the little astronaut. There’s no time to dwell as a cacophony of voices hits you.

“YN!” Rae screeches and you chuckle at her enthusiasm. You’ve known Rae for a few years now, you met at college and had become fast friends. Though you had many different interests - gaming for one, you considered her your best friend. Rae was the type of friend where you didn’t need to talk every single day, you could message her a week later and it would be like no time had passed at all. And you loved that, sometimes you just didn’t want to talk to anyone. Sometimes your mood wasn’t the best, and you needed a little time to recharge. And she understood that, something that you were eternally grateful for. 

“Raebies!” you screech back, using your “pet” name for her.

“I’ve been trying to get you to play forever. But Mr Smooth Operator over there slides into your DMs and suddenly you’re a gamer now?”

“It sounds so sordid when you say it like that,” you reply.

“Hi yn! Glad to see you playing with us,” Sykkuno says. You greet him and the others, making sure to say hi to everyone in the game. You didn’t want to start off by being accidentally rude. You listen as everyone talks amongst each other, and you talk when spoken to, but you aren’t interjecting. It wasn’t anything against the other players, it was just a little overwhelming, and you were figuring out what everyone was like.

“Hello,” Corpse’s voice interrupts your train of thought and you greet him along with everyone else. 

“Aw, I wanted purple,” you say, frowning at Corpse’s name above the astronaut.

“We can switch,” he replies.

“No it’s o -” you start to speak before you realise he’s already switched to white. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You smile as you switch to purple, and you decide to add a flower for a little pizzazz.

“It’s your first game, I’ll kill you if I get imposter so it’ll even out,” he jokes and everyone laughs. The countdown begins and you puff your cheeks out, exhaling as it gets to 1. You’re nervous again, a seemingly common theme of the night. Your shoulders relax as the word CREWMATE flashes across the screen.

You watch as everyone but Corpse disperses from the cafeteria with haste, and you look at the keyboard to press the buttons to move.

“You ever see an old person text? That’s how I’m picturing you right now,” Corpse says as you walk together to Weapons.

“Shut up Sonny,” you reply in your best old woman voice, getting a laugh. You open up the task, shooting the Asteroids with ease. “Yay, I completed a task!”

“Good job,” Corpse replies, and you beam at the praise. You move down to o2, doing your task while Corpse does his.

“Wait, you could be imposter right? How would I know?” you ask as you walk together to Navigation.

“You wouldn’t, you just have to trust me,” he says, his voice full of charm.

You scowl. “Well that just makes me not want to trust you.” 

Before he replies, there’s a blaring alarm. DEAD BODY REPORTED. You blink at the suddenness; you were really enjoying the relaxing pace of the game. You look at the screen;  Felix has been killed.

“Who found the body?” Corpse asks.

“I did,” Rae answers. “I was in admin, and was going to lower engine and it was there in storage.”

“If you were in admin, why didn’t you go up through Cafeteria?” Toast asks.

“Because it’s quicker to go through storage,” Rae replies. They argue between themselves, and you listen intently and silently. It’s a lot of information, you can’t tell whose lying, but you guess that’s what makes a good player.

“Where were you yn?” Sean quizzes, and it takes you a second to realise you’re being spoken to.

“Oh. I was in um o2?”

“You don’t sound too sure there, pretty sus,” he says. Your face heats up a little, you’re not the imposter, but it feels like you are.

“She was in o2 and then we went to Navigation,” Corpse answers, and you breathe out as he takes on the interrogation.

“Oh you were together?” Rae asks, and you know that tone she’s got. It’s the tone that says she’ll be messaging you right away.

“Well yeah, it’s her first game, I’m not gonna leave her alone,” he says and you smile at that. 

“Yeah we’ve been together the whole time,” you add and it’s left at that. No-one votes anyone out, since no-ones really too suspicious. You carry on the game, and you find yourself really enjoying it, though the questioning part is kind of stressful. You can see why Corpse likes it so much, it’s really fun. You’re in electrical, humming as you do your task when Rae comes next to you. 

“Hey,” you greet her.

“I’m sorry, nothing personal,” she replies. Before you have a chance to say a word, she kills you and you look on in shock as your ghost floats above your body.  You listen into the meeting as Rae continues to lie and plead her case. She’s good, but Corpse knows better.

“Wait, you said you found her in electrical and you were where?” 

“I was in Upper Engine, and then I went to electrical to do my task,” Rae answers, her voice even and calm.

“I was in Lower Engine, and I didn’t see you,” Corpse says, and you grin at the fact Rae’s been found out. That’s what she gets for killing you.

“You were doing your task, I passed right by you,” Rae starts. She pleads her case, but it’s too late and she’s voted out.

“That was so much fun!” you declare. “I can see why you guys play it all the time.”

“Yes! We have converted another!” Felix shouts in victory.

“And all it took was Corpse,” Rae mutters sarcastically.

“Don’t get bitter Rachel, just get better,” you reply, causing the group to laugh.

You get the hang of it after a few games, and find yourself agreeing to stay while the others stream, though you decide against it yourself. You’ve only streamed once by yourself, and it was a very casual affair and you don’t want to feel too much pressure while you enjoy yourself. You know that Corpse gets nervous when he streams and he’s been doing it for so much longer, so you can only imagine how nervous you would be.

You tap your fingernails against the keyboard as the lobby counts down, any previous nerves have been replaced with excitement. 

IMPOSTER flashes across. You’re the only one, your astronaut looks lonely on the screen by itself, and the red letters almost taunt you. 

“Shit,” you mutter as your brain goes into overdrive. What was it Corpse had said before? Not to be too obvious. You don’t kill immediately, instead going at your previous pace to not look too suspicious. You were still fairly new to the game, and you were going to use that to your advantage.

You fake your task in Cafeteria before venting over to Navigation where Toast was.

“Hi Toast!” you greet, coming to stand next to him as you pretend you’re doing the task. 

“Oh hey yn,” he says. It doesn’t seem like he suspects you, and you’re not quite sure when to click the Kill button. You do it anyway before running out and going down and into shields. There’s adrenaline running through you as the dead body’s reported and you crack your knuckles before putting on your game face. You were going to play dumb, play the confused newbie - because to them, that’s what you were. 

“YN, where were you?” Corpse asks. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t going to get away with this.

You twiddle your hair as you draw out your words, playing the role perfectly. “Uhm I was in...shields? I think that’s what it’s called. I was in the cafeteria before that though.”

“Wait, you couldn’t have, I was in weapons. I would have seen you,” Sykkuno says.

You open your mouth to talk. “She could have vented,” Felix comments, and the rest of the group starts to agree.

“Guys, I don’t even know what venting is. I literally just started playing,” you point out, giggling.

“That’s true,” Rae agrees and you knew there was a reason you loved her.

“Bullshit! She’s playing you with her “oh I don’t know how to play” schtick,” Felix proclaims.

“Aw, that’s kind of rude, Felix. I’m just enjoying the game, doing the tasks,” you say, pouting a little. He’s the next on your list. 

Everyone skips the vote and you lean over your laptop, ready for the next round. You were going to win this. You kill Rae and Toast next, and yet again, manage to worm your way out of any suspicion. You can sense that Corpse and Felix are starting to get suspicious of you, and you know you need to bring out the big guns to throw them off.

You catch Sykkuno in Med Bay after checking the cams in Security.

“Hi yn!” he greets, and you almost feel guilty as you kill him. He’s so sweet and innocent, but unfortunately, casualties are a given. You pass Felix as he comes out of reactor and it’s only a matter of time before you’ll have to talk your way out of this one again.

“I passed yn as I came out of reactor,” Felix shouts with a hint of glee.

You roll your eyes; this is going to be tough. “Yeah I came from Upper Engine, I was finishing part 2 of a task.”

“I was in Electrical, where was the body?” Corpse asks.

“Med Bay. And the only one that could’ve been there was yn,” Felix starts.

“Well no, you could have passed me and killed Sykkuno then self reported,” you reply. “I think you can do that right?” 

Corpse hums in agreement. “Oh come on! She’s being really sus,” Felix argues.

“You are being a little sus yn,” Corpse comments.

“Corpse. You don’t really think it’s me do you?” You decide to lower your voice a little, your tone sweet but sultry. “You only taught me like an hour ago, there’s no way I’d be able to fool everybody so quickly.” You get close to the mic so it’s like you’re speaking only to Corpse. “Remember what I said? You’re a master at this.” You’re laying it on thick, and for a brief second you think you’ve been too over the top.

“This is difficult,” Corpse says, and you see the seconds count down, your heartbeat starts to quicken.

“Corpse, stop being a fucking simp and vote her out!” Felix demands.

“Corpsie baby,” you drawl out and you smile in success as you hear him sigh, almost shakily. You’ve got this in the bag. The victory screen flashes up and you cheer.

“Fuck yeah!” you shout, patting yourself on the back. You laugh as you exhale the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Good game yn!” Sykkuno comments, the others agreeing.

“Not fair, you used your womanly wiles against Corpse,” Felix says.

“Gotta use them for something. Not my fault Corpse knows where his allegiance lies,” you reply laughing a little.

You stretch, your back crying out in pain from being hunched over so long. You let out a long, loud moan of relief as you straighten your spine, your shoulders relaxing as you move from side to side.

“Your mic’s not muted” Corpse points out, clearing his throat. You feel your stomach drop and your face instantly becomes hot. Shit. 

“Oh. Uh. I totally forgot about that,” you say, forcing out a chuckle. You screw your eyes shut, any happiness has been now replaced by red hot shame. “So this was fun, uh, really fun, but um, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go. So...yeah. Bye guys, have fun!” 

You click to exit without giving anyone a chance to say a word, and drop your head into your hands. 

“Can’t wait to see what they say on Twitter about this,” you mutter into your hands.

TAGLIST (if youre bold, it wont let me tag): @teenageguitarist @fanworrior  @cherry-piee @mirahg  @clara-bee @cookinglovingalien @vir-tual @clubfairy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @more-like-reyna @boiled-onionrings @moneybagmgk @brendalopez99 @delicateavenuenacho @dreamsofficialwife @hydrate-tion @little-red02 

[yesimwriting]

hi, i love all your work! could i please request headcanons for what it'd be like to go from being enemies to lovers with nikolai lantsov.

thank you:)

A/N maybe i moved this up on my request lists bc i woke up today and went 'nikolai lantsov'

--

- i'm being a little liberal with cannon bc my mind first went to 'princess! reader who hates nikolai bc they're competitive and then they have to team up together to try to get their parents to break up their arranged marriage but fall in love in the process (this might be a little undetailed but i'm thinking of writing a full fic or mini-series with this plotline so let me know if you'd be interested!! i could see a smutty ending to that fic but idk,, lmk what you thing ig lol)

- Ok so first off enemies to lovers with the loml nikolai lantsov would be SO GOOD bc he's so dramatic and obviously attractive so even though you hate him you know he's hot,, there's never a dramatic realization that he's attractive bc it's just a fact

- butttt you'd rather give up any claim you have to your family's throne than feed his already gigantic ego

- okk but lets get to the beginning of your enemies to lovers relationship

- so basically every summer your parents go and stay with Nikolai's family at this super fancy vacation home bc your parents are both royalty and your kingdoms have a very healthy relationship

- just bc it's the summer season doesn't mean it's summer vacation,, so as children for about a month you two share a tutor,, and when i tell you that created a rivalry so fast i mean it

- you're not the eldest princess and you're always trying to be the best for your parents approval, nikolai just wanted to impress the really smart girl who had a pretty laugh (poor nikolai lol,, he had no way of knowing how important being the best in school no matter what was to your self esteem)

- maybe if you two could communicate you’d like each other a little better at this point but it starts when you’re pretty young and by the time you’re like 13 it’s a solidified dynamic (and 13 year olds are the MEANEST and most insecure people in the world so that’s when your relationship turns to full enemies)

- now that you’re 13 you have more princess-y requirements, especially over the summer. So when you see that Nikolai gets to practice with swords and gets more free time while you have to practice setting tables you hate him more than ever. 

- Nikolai senses that you’re extra hostile but he has no idea why,, he tries asking once but he makes a joke about how ‘maybe you’re jealous bc youre no longer the center of my attention’ and even though he’s just trying to ease the tension you feel like he’s making fun of you

- so that’s when things get aggressive, but at that point summer is almost over so it’s whatever

- next summer comes and you’re still SO MAD at him,, so when you get to the estate you’re like ‘i’m not even talking to him idc how quiet these next three months are’ 

- and you get there all determined to hate him,, but once you get there and see him something in you cracks bc he had the audacity to spend the last year going through puberty AND LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN CUTE BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE 

- so youre mentally panicking bc how do you even talk to someone that looks like that now???? but then you remember that you didnt even want to talk him so in a panic youre like ‘maybe i can avoid him and he’ll just assume it’s bc i hate him bc i do,, who cares if he’s unbelievably hot now’ 

- nikolai doesn’t assume anything, he just gets to the estate and is like ‘why hasn’t she insulted me yet?? is she suddenly too good to give me attention?’ so during the lessons that you still share he gets an idea

- he decides to one-up you in everything bc that’s always gotten a reaction out of you 

- it works,, every time he corrects you or steals an answer from you, you’re ready to snap but then you look at him and take in his stupidly perfect face and  you just shut up 

- nikolai thinks it’s not working so he just tries harder

- by the end of week one you can’t take it anymore so when the tutor leaves at the end of lessons you snap, you tell him off for how often he’d repeat what you said and change a few words and get all the praise from the tutor

- on the inside he’s like ‘took long enough’ but the more you rant he’s like ‘is she okay???’ he’d be more concerned if you weren’t threatening his pride and at this point he’s still annoyed bc if you were that annoyed you should have just talked to him instead of ignoring him for a week

- he’s thinking that just bc you got really pretty over the last year doesn’t make you too good to yell at him on the daily

- the worst thing anyone can do to nikolai is ignore him LMAO (lowkey relatable)

- so he starts arguing with you and you’re so upset that you forget about how aggressively attractive he is 

- and you two are alone in this room and the more you argue the closer you two get

- the climax of the argument is when neither of you are yelling, you’re just so mad you’re beyond raising your voice and once you’re both at that point it goes like this: 

“Nikolai Lantsov, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met” 

“Well then, Darling, you should look in a mirror.” 

“You are so entitled, so ridiculously self obsessed that it ruins your attractiveness.” 

“...” he literally just like blinks twice. “You think I’m attractive?” 

“Uh? No--i didn’t say that at all, maybe if you didn’t have the language comprehension of a child you’d understa--” he just reaches forward, grabs the collar of your dress, and kisses you. 

- it’s your first kiss so you have no idea what you’re doing and it’s with some one you CANT STAND and you’re so mad bc you had expectations for your first kiss and he’s taken that from you--but the thing is,, 

- he’s good at it. Like really good at it. Like so good it makes you curious about what he does the nine months of the year he’s not stuck here with you bc there’s no way he hasn’t had practice. 

- but you’re also extremely confused and nervous and aware of how stupid you’re being (and a little hormonal bc being 14 isn’t easy) and then he places his hand on your cheek and that snaps some sense of reality into you bc it’s one thing to enjoy the kiss but another thing entirely to want him to escalate it

- so you place one hand on his chest and push him off of you slightly. He takes the hint, pulls away enough to look at you and then you two just stare at each other 

- your hand is still on his chest and you have absolutely no idea what comes next, but you find yourself looking at his lips

- since you haven’t slapped him or pulled away more than a few inches he thinks maybe things are okay so he leans forward slightly and kisses you again. 

- you reciprocate a little too fast, the kiss lasts two seconds before thinking about how insane you’re being so you push away entirely. 

- He lets you go,, and in the most awkward display ever you’re like ‘uh I need to go,, i can’t be late to ball preparation lessons’ and you leave that room faster than you’ve ever left a room in your entire life. 

- the next day you consider pretending to be sick to avoid him but that would only give him more power over the situation so you go,, and he’s just sitting there calmly

- youre on edge the entire day but he never even jokes about it

- a part of you is a tiny bit annoyed bc who kisses you and then pretends it never happened? but overall, you’re relieved 

- the days pass and it never comes up but now whenever you two argue you think of how quickly kissing him both shut him up and got rid of your tension 

- the summer goes by quickly, your usual dynamic has returned and you wonder if he even remembers kissing you. twice. in a row. 

- the next couple of years are normal,, even when you two no longer take lessons together you still dont like him. He’s just so assured and he takes such joy in bothering you. 

- and then one summer your parents sit you down and they’re like ‘we need to plan the future alliance of our kingdom’ 

- you’re a little confused bc you’re rarely allowed to sit in on these things bc you’re a girl and you’re basically meant to just be a royal’s bride--and then you realize why you’re there. 

- you start protesting before your father can finish announcing your engagement 

- the parents were smart bc they announced it at the end of summer so you two couldn’t drive them crazy or conspire

- the first thing you do when you get back to your castle is write to him for the first time ever 

- your letter is basically ‘pls tell me you’re doing something’ 

- the two of you talk until you come up with the plan to get your parents to break up your engagement 

- your parents dont really care about your feelings and they expect the two of you to argue with them,, but they care about the kingdoms

- so you two decide that if you act like youre so in love that you let your duties slip the engagement will end,, especially if you two are in love in a toxic way 

- so the next summer you two make sure to flirt and act like youre totally obsessed with each other and skip lessons together and just are constantly together and acting like you’re on a honeymoon

- your parents are like ?? since when 

- at one point you flirt with a random guard just so Nikolai can have a ‘jealous outburst’ while your families are strolling through the garden 

- ngl jealous nikolai had you ready to RISK IT ALL,, you were ready to drop the plan and marry him on the spot 

- he notices bc he notices everything about you and when your family walks away he gives you a quick kiss and youre stunned,, much to his delight 

- your desire to break up your engagement takes a slight backseat in your mind bc you decide to set off on a secret goal to make him flustered

- it doesn’t take much, your dresses get a little more risky, your comments get a little more suggestive

- the only problem?? he seems to have his own personal goal and it’s to make you even more flustered than he is

- soon the two of you are lost in layers of pretend and competition

- when your parents are finally thinking about delaying the engagement and keeping you two away from each other until you calm down a little (i feel bad for them,, an entire summer of being surrounded by the ULTIMATE sexual tension) 

- you’re sad and you don’t know why bc this is what you wanted, but then Nikolai stands up and says that you two planned for this and he has the letters to prove it (he was ready to drop the receipts LMAO) and youre like ??what are you doing?

- and he says he’d rather marry you then never see you again bc now all he wants is to get know you bc he has no idea how he wasted so much time arguing with you 

- and you just meltttt but your in front of your entire family and his as well so you just sit there for a minute and then you tell him you feel the same way 

- but the summer’s over

- you kiss him before leaving and he says you’ll have to visit bc he can’t go an entire year without seeing your ‘pretty face’ 

- you promise to visit him soon

- your at home for exactly a day and a half before getting an invitation to visit him 

- you laugh bc the only way that letter could get to you that fast is if he mailed it before you even left 

- you say yes obviously,, and spend some time having a really cute fall-dating vibes together until you figure out how you really feel 

- and you feel like he makes your heart STOP and that’s why you hated him,, bc you didn’t like being vulnerable 

[duckugou]

the blood on our hands

bakugou x gn!reader

aged up!

cw: a n g s t as hell. comfort. cursing, mentions of drinking, smoking, etc. alluding to depression and anxiety. dealing with trauma of missions and losing people. a ton of mentions of blood

this is a heavy topic in the hero universe i imagine- and generally in the mental health world of it all.

lyrics are from purple flowers by ande estrella which hold a very important meaning that has nothing to do with this- they just worked with the story. But fr go listen to it bc its so good.

come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in! Requests are open!!

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reality is heavy and loud

Spacing out was more than being distracted to Y/n. Being a young hero meant stressful situations, overbearing management, tight spaces, stuffy meetings, and so much... blood. It takes a toll on a young person. Of course they wanted to be a hero- wouldn't chose anything else. They grin and bear this shit for a reason- to save and help people.

But god, who saves the heros?

but white has the privilege of washing machines to wash out the stains from their comfortable jeans

Some nights, after wrap-up meetings, everything was a bit too heavy. The usual group of friends and young heroes would choose someone's house to go to in order to destress.

For some, that was smoking. For some, it was drinking, video games, napping, venting, sitting outside alone yet with company. And for some it was merely listening to everyone else.

Not having to make a decision. Not having to be responsible. That's what y/n picked every time.

Bakugou would always notice them alone in the corner of the room. They were the one to come up with destress gatherings after hard missions. Bakugou knew it was so they wouldn't be alone with their thoughts. That's why he would always step in at times like as get them to talk, so those thoughts dont stay trapped in their head.

"Hey." Bakugou muttered, sitting on the floor next to y/n in Denkis apartment.

"Hey."

"You good, dude?" Bakugou asked with genuine concern.

He was always a bit nicer to Y/n. Nobody knew why, yet everyone knew why. They both were fragile and chose to hide it during the day, being strong around others to not raise red flags.

"I'm okay...just. That one was bad. I almost lost that kid. Like she almost fucking- died in my arms." Y/n choked out.

"Hey hey hey, its okay. You got her to the ambulance in time. You did that shit. You always do. You're the best in the game at comforting little twerps." Bakugou attempted to comfort them- somewhat succeeding and holding their head against his chest.

One time, Y/n mentioned that they held kids against their chest during rescues to calm their heartbeat. "If you listen to a calmer heartbeat, you're more likely to try to match it and slow your own down." Of course you wouldn't think Y/n would be able to have a calm heartbeat during a rescue, but they are very talented at controlling their nerves. Part of being a hero.

wiping the blood off their hands to their thighs, wearing the blood of the people who've died

Y/n subconsciously calmed down a bit, Bakugou's ability to remember every word that drips off of Y/n's lips paying off.

"I know. I just can't stop...thinking about everyone I've- we've lost. Its so unfair."

"I know. Hey, you have- uh. Lets go to the bathroom." Bakugou noticed a smudge of blood on Y/n's face and a bit on their hands. Cleaning up was the last thing on their mind earlier on.

"Ok."

Taking each other's hands, they walked into the bathroom. Bakugou sat Y/n on the counter, turning on the sink and grabbing a cloth.

"O-oh god. Thats fucking blood. I thought I washed my h-hands." Y/n began panicking, causing Bakugou to put their hands under the water with soap, washing it all off for them.

Tears mixed with the water from the sink and Bakugou stayed silent. Wiping their face, Bakugou looked into Y/n's eyes. These two have just always known.

They know what people can hide. What secret messages the body language of a person can hold. And he let them grip onto the back of his shirt as he held them in his arms, Y/n not being able to cry anymore and just breathing in his scent from his shoulder.

but dont let the purple flowers fool you

"Listen. We're going to get through this one. I know its hard on you- all of the families involved. But you- we saved them. We're all here for each other right? I'm here for you." Bakugou pulls Y/n back a little to look into their eyes. "You are the strongest one here. I know it fucking hurts. I know it is so...scary-" He sniffles a little, letting his own emotions take over. Something only he did when they were alone together. "- but we're heroes. And human. We are allowed to feel pain and sadness and disappointment- but we're heroes for a reason, right? We can handle this shit."

"I know we can. We always have. Just... promise you'll never leave me?"

"Youre so stupid. I've been more careful lately." He scoffs, wiping tears from his face. He of course knew that Y/n was referring to a few weeks ago when Bakugou got too caught up in the mission and was almost crushed by debris. He was pulled away in time by a fellow hero but it still opened his eyes, as well as Y/n, to how fragile they are, even if they are the heroes.

"I know Kats, but please. You're my rock in here. You're my person." Y/n says looking into his eyes.

"And you're my person. I can't leave you behind. You wouldn't know what to do without me here." Bakugou chuckles, earning a shove from Y/n.

"Katsuki." Y/n starts, holding his hands in their own.

"Yeah." He sighs.

"I don't speak lightly of feelings, you know that right?"

"Of course I know that. You don't talk much about those to anyone-"

"Except you." They interrupt Bakugou, reminding him of the importance of their unspoken bond and making his heart race.

"Yeah."

"Then you'll know how hard it is for me to say this. But- Katsuki I think I love you. I know we aren't super affectionate outside of being alone but- I've never felt what I feel with you before. I understand if you don't feel the same way and if this was all just because you felt bad but I needed to tell you that because you're really important and this is very import-"

Bakugou, in the most cliche turn of events, cuts Y/n off with a kiss to shut them up.

Pulling away, Bakugou rests his forehead on Y/n's .

"I love you too. I thought that was obvious when I never stopped you from saying my first name, idiot." He chuckles lightly.

"I kinda figured you at least liked me-"

"I'm going to keep you safe forever. That means physically and emotionally. No more hiding any feelings from me just because there are people around. Pull me aside. Hold me if you need or want to- I dont care if the whole world sees that. But just- fuck Y/n. I know you feel fragile. I know what it's like to be scared and hide it. I'm your diary now, ok? Always."

"Thank you...Katsuki. Fuck. You're everything I've ever needed. Plus youre kinda cute too I suppose." Y/n giggles.

"Oi fuck off." Bakugou kisses them again, relieved that he can finally be himself with Y/n, that he has them finally.

"I'm your diary too them, okay? I mean it. Anything, any time, say the word." Y/n says lightly, squeezing Bakugou's hand.

"Fuck. I love you."

"I love you too. I love how that sounds coming from you by the way."

"Me the fuck too-" Bakugou was interrupted by a loud yelling-

"I GOTTA PISSSSSS" followed by banging on the door.

"MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK SO FAST THEN LIGHT WEIGHT!" Bakugou responds, recognizing the voice of Denki.

"DONT MAKE FUN OF MEEEE I'LL LAUGH AND PEE MYSELF" Denki whined.

"Let's go, angel." Bakugou whispers into Y/n's hair, kissing them on the head and helping them off of the counter.