#AND MEET OTHER QUEER PEOPLE IM MY CITY

[daubigny-stan]

pride event??? in my homophobic ass country??? it's more likely than you think???

[fridayiminlcve]

if i dont move to nyc or london or paris by age 27 what is the point of anything

[skybluekoneko]

Today is pride in a smaller city nearby aka the only pride event around here.. i actually wanted to go but i overslept and am still filled with doubts and insecurities at the prospect of going on my own. Like what would i even do there on my own? I'd probably start crying seeing everyone around me having fun while i would probably be too chicken to even talk to anyone lmao

[zyonsay]

Blinding Lights

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Warnings: NSFW-> guk guk 3000,Alcohol, Gay shit

Reader: Male

Word count: 1'655 Words

Song i listened to while writing: "I threw at my friend's eyes and now im on probation" by Destroy Boys

AN: Hey :] Lemme know what u thought about this! Im open for tips, as i still struggle with writing. Also this is like the first time i wrote smut. Deadass. But anyways, Enjoy!

Your black military boots made a slouching, wet sound as you walked through the city streets of London. It had rained earlier, but that didn’t stop you from having fun at the club.

The entrance that greeted you looked absolutely disgusting, the only thing you’d expect to occupy the old sewage system would be rats or some old, sick stray dogs. But behind the big, withered cloth that probably inhabited maggots a dimly lit, colorful tunnel hid itself. It was covered in Graffiti and colorful bottles hung from the ceiling. Loud music could be heard from the other end, which was covered by a dark blue curtain, resembling the night sky you had abandoned just a few minutes ago.

The colorful lights blinded you temporarily, but you felt right at home. This was one of the less popular meet up spots for underground artist and queer people. It wasn’t just some nightclub, it was a safe space for all kinds of people, that’s why you loved it so much. You too were very much part of the LGBTQ+ community, so you sought out your nightclubs very carefully. Being involved in a hate crime wasn’t exactly on your bucket list, obviously.

 Some unknown band was absolutely tearing up the stage with their messily decorated instruments. People were dancing, drinking, and singing. It was a big chaos, but you felt at peace, surrounded by your people. The big, broad room was filled with a bar, a few sofas and the stage and it was also thoroughly decorated with graffiti, more colorful bottles, and fairy lights.

You ordered yourself some alcohol, vodka being your favorite. The band was finishing up their last song, then thanked the lively crowd. Then another band stepped foot on the stage, their guitarist and lead singer looking familiar. You’ve seen him around a lot, but you’ve never talked to him. You were basically eye banging him, he looked very good. The way his eyeliner had already smudged made him even more attractive. It almost seemed like he read your thoughts, because he stared right at you, a big grin plastered on his face. You thought it might’ve just been your imagination, the crowd was way too big for him to have looked at you specifically.

The band began performing their first song, the mass of people around you immediately started dancing and singing. Everybody was having a good time, including you. You were dancing with your drink still in your hand, gripping it tightly as the alcohol was way too expensive for you to spill it. You directed your glance towards the stage again, wanting to grace your eyes with the hot man shredding his guitar solo. People were cheering and clapping for the young man, showing him exactly how amazing he is. He continued singing the lyrics to his song and while doing so he grinded against the mic stand, firing on his ego even more.

People were screaming at his cheeky action, a drowned “GET ME PREGNANT!!!” could be heard from the other side of the crowd, many people laughing at that. The punk on stage was smirking at that, though he was seemingly looking at you again.

Now shit got absolutely wild, he was pointing at you and then pointed to the door, which hid a storage room for the band’s instruments. You grinned at him, taking another sip of your drink. He then sang along to the suggestive lyrics of his song, looking at you again, making a very distinctive gesture with his hands. He wanted you to blow him. You felt hazy, blood rushing to your face as you smirked at him, nodding while raising your drink to him.

His band finished their set, people were cheering them on, excited for their next song. Meanwhile a young woman went on stage and announced a campaign for disabled people, receiving a lot of cheers and support.

You on the other hand had made your way to the storage room, feeling a hot, burning feeling in your core. Your cheeks were slightly reddened – whether it was from the alcohol or from your excitement, no one knows. You must admit, giving a blowie to a random guitarist wasn’t the most unhinged thing you’ve ever done. You really didn’t care to be modest anyways.

Then suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, causing you to spin around and look at whoever was behind you. You were greeted with two beautiful brown eyes and a cheeky grin.  

“Sorry if I put you on the spot there, mate” You smirked at him, then replied “I would’ve let you know if I didn’t want to, but who would say no to you?” You smiled, checking the person opposing you. He was tall and handsome, something mischievous glimmering in his eyes. He smiled at you, slowly growing impatient, since there wasn’t much time in between his band’s sets.

He led you into the storage rooms, revealing a sofa and wall covered in mirrors. This was probably where the bands waited for their performance and could freshen up their makeup. “By the way, I’m Hobie Brown.” The man now known to you as Hobie sat down on the sofa, gesturing you to come over. “Names’ Y/N.” You muttered with a smile, eyeing the bulge building up in the punk’s pants. You shifted closer to Hobie, not wanting to waste too much time. You settled between his legs, kneeling on the orange and pink patterned carpet.

You started fiddling with his belt, looking up with your big eyes, almost looking innocent if it wasn’t on the big smirk on your visage. “Ready?”, you were barely whispering. The young man, who was looking down at you with a grin only nodded his head. You opened up his jeans, slightly pulling them down to give you space for slutty activities. You touched his member through his plain grey boxers, that already had a wet spot on them, revealing his excitement. Hobie let out an impatient groan, wanting you all over him this instant. You quickly got rid of the remaining cloth in your way, your own erection pressing painfully against your jeans. You took his cock in your hand, Hobie hissed at the feeling of your soft hands around him.  You pumped him slowly, before leading your lips towards his tip, enjoying yourself a lot. “Mmmhhhh…” The man above you threw his head back. You then took more of his dick into your mouth, enjoying the feeling. You swirled your tongue along his shaft, earning quiet grunts and sighs from Hobie. He gripped a handful of your fluffy hair, slightly fucking into your mouth.

He looked at you through lust filled eyes, a pleading expression painting his face. “Can I fuck your mouth?”, he whimpered.

 You nodded, slowly letting his member out of your mouth. He stood up, facing your kneeling figure. You got right back to savoring him, as he held you by your hair again. He then began thrusting into your mouth, enjoying the wet, warm feeling. He still held back some of his length, waiting for you to look at him with your doe eyes. He smirked down at you, whispering something along the lines of “Get ready, darling”.

 You took the rest of his cock into your mouth, tears building in the corner of your eyes. Hobie fucked your throat slowly at first, but quickly fell into a more violent pace. You glanced to the side, seeing a sinful scene playing in the mirrors covering the wall. It could’ve well been a baroque painting on the wall of a filthy rich art critique. But there you were, in an underground nightclub, full of drunk queers, sucking off a musician. 

Hobie was now thrusting at a devilish fast pace, using you like a cheap toy to get off on. He looked at you, grinning at your face. “You gonna swallow, like the good little slut you are?” You nodded slightly, not wanting to disturb his pleasure. Your own dick was pulsing in your pants, starved from any kind of stimulation. You were stabilizing yourself by holding the back of Hobies thigh, feeling slightly dizzy due to alcohol and lust. You wanted to make the man in front of you feel good, even tough you merely met him a few minutes ago.

Your thoughts were cut off by Hobies cock twitching in your mouth, you quickly looked up at him, watching happily as he threw his head back and let out a moan. “Ngahhh… Fuck!” Thick ropes of cum flowed down your throat. You tried your best to swallow all of it, as you didn’t want any of the white fluids landing on the fluffy carpet beneath you. Even though this carpet is probably covered in it anyways, you thought to yourself. This was a messy nightclub after all.

Hobie slowly pulled out, grinning down at you again. He pets your fluffy hair, with you sitting at his feet like an obedient dog. “Good Boy.” The punk zipped his pants up again, as you got up from the floor, straightening your messed up clothes. Paying little to no attention to Hobie, you didn’t expect him to tip your chin up. He captured your lips in a feverish hot kiss, getting a taste of himself. You two then parted, leaving a fragile strand of saliva between you two. Outside of the storage room, a loud voice announced Hobies band again, receiving many loud cheers. “Gotta go sweetheart”, he turned around to leave, when you gripped his wrist gently. You looked at him, smirking.

 “Ya wanna come home with me later?”, you received a mischievous look from the man. You cocked your eyebrow, wanting an answer. Hobie then leaned forward, leaving a small kiss on your neck. “Deffo.” He then left the storage room, leaving you with weak legs. You were definitely planning to take this man home tonight.

[rgr-pop]

TIME SENSITIVE ACTION REQUEST!!: can you my beautiful artists/clever people on tumblr make us some abortion button designs this weekend? To sell to raise money for Mountain Access Brigade, a collective of abortion doulas funding access to abortion in east tennessee?

I’m tabling a week from today at Stoopfest in Lansing, which will be headlined this year by Jhariah, R.A.P Ferreira, Weakened Friends, and Direct Hit!. I’m tabling with the Lansing DSA Women’s Section (working title) as well as a coalition of other women organizing with leftist orgs in Lansing (we don’t have a name yet but we call them “the girlies”). We’re looking to hit $5k on our fundraiser by the end of the month, but equally importantly, I’m tabling to meet people who want to plug into projects we’re getting off the ground to organize to defeat transphobic homophobic and anti-abortion power in Lansing, especially (my baby pet project if you know me irl!) launching our campaign to chase out and shut down the anti-abortion fake clinics in the city.

Here’s our fundraising page, you can donate and share (please!) but you should also read it to get a sense of how we talk about our vision:

https://fund.nnaf.org/team/565397

So I need YOU to design abortion loving buttons for me to make to sell for the fundraiser and start conversations that connect people :). Please help lol. The vibe is queer, mutual aidy, creative! Many of the girls I’m going with are harm reduction activists and passionate about self management and self controlled healthcare.

We have a lot of fun/funny ones made already but we need more sweet/straightforward ones that inspire people and ground the sloganing in our principles. Some wording you can use in your designs (but please feel free to think of others)/some jumping off points/guidance:

- abortion is magic

- abortion access (or just access) saves lives

- we use the term “reproductive freedom” as a matter of practice (pro-choice and reproductive justice are okay, but we love this one)

- “bodily autonomy” is another one we orient around

- pro “repro worker” slogans (“i <3 repro workers” always good)

- “i fund abortion”

- tying in safer sex slogans (would love something like this in an 80s/90s safe sex campaign style)

- harm reduction/mutual aid framing (would looove some good ideas here)

- i REALLY want to come with something about bisexual women being statistically most likely to have an abortion (one of my favorite communist conversation starters irl) - in general messages about queer people getting abortions is a vibe!

- we don’t use “women” when referring to who gets abortions but feminist messaging is great. I’d stay away from body parts as imagery

- the classic, “i love abortion”

- slogan-free imagery that supports the vibe

- Y’allidarity :):):)

- This line from a lead organizer with DSA’s Trans Rights and Bodily Autonomy Campaign has stuck with me as a guide, it really gets at the core of this work for me: “In a political climate characterized by fear and isolation, our voice is steady, loving, direct, and shows courage in our democratic socialist convictions.”

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

- Make me some designs on a 2.25 inch circle button template (im a design idiot and need help) in whatever file format and give me permission to print them and turn them into buttons to sell for the fundraiser. THEY DONT HAVE TO BE AMAZING LOOOKING! email me at rikki.g.reynolds@gmail.com

- reply to this post with specific wording ideas if the above inspires you!

- share this post :) and hit up your designer friends who have time this weekend! abortion fund-a-thon is about making hard asks of your friends who can help, and you’ll be glad you did.

- if you want to help promote this fundraiser on your own socials or somewhere else, feel free but you can also dm me for ideas!

Sorry for the last minute (this is why I’m really calling on tumblr GOATs), but I would loooooove to make buttons next MONDAY or possibly as late as Wednesday— I’ll edit this post when I know for sure. It’s an emergency! But you’ll be saving lives!

What can I do for you?

If you ask, I can post pictures on twitter and tag you if you want some traffic (some of our posts get a little traffic). I can PROBABLY also send you a finished button of your design after fund a thon season (May) is over but I don’t want to make that promise for certain yet.

ty!!!

[clangenrising]

the absolute chokehold this blog has on me is seriously crazy im soo in love with your work.

youve probably been asked this before, and if thats the case i apologize- but im curious... considering the canonical Cat Homophobia amongst the city cats, how does Scorch feel about it? I mean we all know that girl is queer and has flirted (albeit playfully) with women in the past but being around #1 Bigot Razor all the time can't be a good thing for... anyones moral standings, internalized or not.

either way she has some serious issues to work through before jumping into another relationship i fear. sorry scorch not even a pretty women can solve ur Various Issues... we will get there eventually girl i believe in u.

(ps i know towing the line in asks between trivia/clarification questions and "this is something i want to be extrapolated upon in the text rather then just telling you" questions is hard so if this is one of those i totally get it lol, and im sure i speak for most of us other askers as well ^_^)

Wow I have so many people in chokeholds it seems XD I'm flattered. Also, I appreciate the understanding. Luckily, this is something I feel comfortable answering.

Lucky for Scorch, she grew up in a completely different town with a much chiller community. As a kit she was taken in by a group of female cats who raised their kits communally and at least some of them were in romantic relationships with each other. So she doesn't have the sort of unthinking, automatic 'that's weird' response that cats in Razor's city tend to have.

You're not wrong that being around Razor definitely had an effect on that but the effect was mostly her realizing she had to tone it down when she was in town. There were rumors originating in her earlier days in the city that she swung both ways (we learn that in one of the early Aldertail POVs) but she mostly played it off and escaped too much flack for it.

But yeah, her issues are a lot more with just general intimacy and the seeds were there even before she came to Razor's city. To some degree, it made not being able to be queer in the city easier because Scorch doesn't consider romantic love to be anything she would be interested in. She's a real Romance Pessimist, you know, like the kind of woman who starts a rom-com being like 'love is fake and I'll never fall in love' XD Hopefully she'll follow the rest of the rom-com arc

Oh my god new Hallmark Movie AU where Saoirse goes to a tiny town on business and meets handsome lumberjack-or-whatever, Rayna, who convinces her to love Christmas and leave her shitty business boyfriend. Fuck I want fanart of this now. 100 RisingBucks to anyone who delivers

[dog-teeth]

this is just a question in general because im trying to make friends n stuff but where should i go to meet your genre of person

like local music concerts or something

yeah, i'd say looking into your city's queer, art, and DIY scenes. for me, i make most of my friends at local shows cuz i'm pretty involved in the music scene, and it's an environment thats really conducive to meeting people since there's a big web of people you meet other people through and you always have something in common to talk about (the music).

creatures of my sort can also be found at: art events at museums/galleries/DIY spaces/libraries, community organizing events, trans things, weird bars, the internet...really depends on the city !

[antonarcana]

im another trans autistic person, how do u even meet ppl that u unknowly charm? im told im charismatic too but meeting ppl feels so difficult

I think my best advice is to find one local person (preferably a fellow autistic person/fellow trans person/ideally both) that you vibe with, establish a connection, and build your social circle from there! I had to start over on meeting people when I moved to my current city about 3 years ago, it takes time to build a social circle from the ground up, so don’t beat yourself up if it takes a while! If there are any gay bars/clubs near you that could be a good place to start, otherwise if your local area has any pride events try attending those and (and this can be hard, I know) start conversations with people. You’d be surprised at how easily you can make new friends in a setting like that (I made several new friends at pride last year) ! In general, once you’ve met one person: Now you have somebody to hang out with! Maybe they have friends they can introduce you to. And if you meet another person aside from them that you vibe with, introduce the two to each other; Now you have a little friend group!

If I misunderstood your question and you’re specifically looking for sex: Grindr has been really useful for me for no strings attached stuff (Although I’ve also met some friends there + Some regular friends with benefits), but it comes with it’s fair share of bullshit, so keep your block button finger ready and don’t be afraid to be picky with who you actually meet up with!

Generally my advice would be to seek out your local queer community either in person or online (both if possible) and just striking up conversations with people; I know that’s hard for a lot of people but it pays off!

[housecatclawmarks]

do u have a list of trans(fem) music recs i need to go insane (gender edition) not that fussed about genre tbh it just needs to Fuck

sorry for answering this so late anon 😭😭 I was going to make a whole playlist or whatever but then the executive dysfunction hit. Anyway off the top of my head for wrath month here are some of my fave explicitly trans bands/musicians:

-Against Me! and G.L.O.S.S. are both classics that im sure uve heard of if not listened to, if not then go do it bc the hype is real. Laura Jane Grace also has a bunch of solo music and a side project called Laura Jane Grace and the Devouring Mothers which r less hardcore but still fuck

-Ezra Furman is an incredible transfem musician, I’m not sure what genre I’d place her in because I feel like she’s very versatile in style. Her lyrics are incredible and moving & her last two albums especially are unapologetically trans and about grappling with mental health under the weight of Everything going on in the world and are really beautiful! If you enjoy mcr’s sound or the kind of bittersweet vibes mitski/orville peck have lyrically you’ll really like her, but I’d recommend her music to anyone tbh

-Trap Girl is one of my all time favorite trans punk bands, they have a trans frontwoman and their music is perfect for putting on when you wanna rage and scream and sledgehammer cissiety. LOVE their style & attitude

-Dyke Drama is like angsty trans lesbian folk punk, not a band I listen to as much as the others on here but still really really good and great for when you want to participate in my favorite summer activity (stomping around miserably feeling bitter)

-She/Her/Hers is another classic transfem folkpunk artist, great for when ur missing the company of other trans people and want to feel cozy

-St Lucifer is a really cool kind of goth-adjacent band (I like to describe them as goth meets disco lmao) from the U.K with at least one trans band member and a lot of trans music

-Jayne County if you want to go really old school trans punk (like 1970s)

And other trans music from artists who aren’t transfem (that I know of anyway):

-Schmekel is a great Jewish transmasc folkpunk band, great if u like pansy division, folkpunk, or live in a city with a queer community and can laugh at yourself

-The Muslims are probably one of the only pop punk bands I like, their songs are fun, angry, catchy, and political

-Aye Nako has great lyrics and is one of the first trans punk-adjacent bands I listened to

-Good Asian Drivers is a slightly older indie/spoken word duo with good like angry political music for people who aren’t into punk

If anyone has more recs for openly trans music send them my way!

[drdemonprince]

hi sorry if this is kinda ramble-y. im an 25+ introverted acearo who has never kissed or dated or "experimented" in high school/college cuz i was too focused on my grades and i think i'd would like to try sex once just see what all the fuss is about but i am also afab non-binary and i'm not "visibly trans" so i just get misgendered a lot as a "cis woman." would you have any advice on trying to not feel gender dysphoria when having sex? like, i feel like if i got flirted with by a cishet man or a cis lesbian woman, i feel like i would feel awkward and dysphoric like they are only attracted to me bc i look like a "woman" and also kinda bad like i am wasting their time. should i try to just put something in a dating/tinder/idk (dating app here) profile like "t4t" or my they/them pronouns or "ace4bi/pan" or "ace4other sex-favorable/curious aces" or a little trans flag emoji or something and hope people take the hint?

while i think i would prefer a 1-on-1 meeting for my first time, i also was worried about going to places like a total stranger's apartment/house/hotel alone and i had briefly thought about trying a public sauna since it did seem safer for the reasons that you gave to previous anon that there would be others around and security, but my city's gay baths is pretty. dinky? if google reviews of 2/5 stars are to be believed, it's kinda gone downhill since 2011 on facilities maintenance/showers/hot tub not working, etc., and is very pricey compared to other bigger cities' bathhouses. just generally disappointing i guess? and as an afab looking person, i think would only be allowed to go in on sundays which i think is their all genders day according to the website? but still, from my outward appearance, i was worried that i would get misgendered by any who approach me as a "girl" or get thought of as that stereotypical cishet girl invading gay bars/queer spaces, etc.

also, i dont like being touched on basically my entire torso/back or neck area, only limbs i think.

do you have any advice for a non-binary curious ultra-virgin/late bloomer with too many conditions for an ideal partner? should i just. try to think real hard about not thinking about getting misgendered and ignore any bad vibes/cbt/gaslight myself out of it??

or should i give up since i doubt that other extroverts who are experienced with no touch aversion issues and just looking to party/have a quick hook-up and have a good time would want to deal with introverted me and my picky-ness and gender/touch issues ruining their weekend/wasting their time?

(also i did kinda look into that surrogacy sex therapists/councilors that are apparently a thing now?? but they look like they're mostly in the cooler PNW/west coast areas. im stuck in plain boring uhh let's say think of ohio-pennsylvania-virginia tri-state area suburbs with limited car transportation. but i can get around the city by bus. its not even the cool east coast, its like mid-atlantic/midwest ugh. even some of those cuddle parties/councilors i had thought of for trying to lessen my touch-aversion are mostly west coast and texas for some reason?? my region is just too boring....)

(again sorry if this is a long ask! ^ ^ )

You should hire a sex worker!! When you're looking for something specific and you don't want to play the field it's a great great time to support your local sex workers and ask for exactly what you want. They'll treat you right. Try Tryst !

[placentaeater999]

More Ramblings!

I forgot to tell you, my friends, that this May 10th or 11th marked 10 (ten) whole years since I first came out as a trans man!

(Im open to asks/questions/new friends, i believe education is an important part of the path to acceptance)

TL;DR: trans kids become trans adults, trans kids you absolutely fucking belong on this planet and you are loved and cherished, if not by your own family then by me bc im adopting you now as your older brother. My experience as a trans man is below the cut

I came out at the age of 11, back in early 2014, just before trans ppl and bathrooms had really started to catch the eye of the general public.

My dad was quick to support my medical transition, and while my ma took a moment, she got there. My dad ended up only really supporting me if i matched his machismo ideals, but this has gotten a lot better over the years.

I have been extremely INCREDIBLY lucky to be able to come out and successfully begin my transition at such a young age and every day im grateful for that. That being said, I lost a lot of family because of it. I lost close and important friendships because of it. I felt shame for such a long ass time because of it. I was bullied by students, parents, and teachers. I've been assaulted, Ive faced medical discrimination numerous times, I was the first trans patient at this psych ward i went to and got weird treatment. I have struggled a lot with feeling like i belong in this world. And now at the age of 21 I still do sometimes.

But

With all the bad things that've happened.

The family that stayed ive grown closer with. The new friends i FINALLY made in college are so incredibly supportive and I'm lucky that most of them are also trans or queer in some way (most of my friends are long distance but idc theyre my best friends). I wouldnt trade them for the world. I I havent had a typical teen experience but I've gotten to lead important projects for the safety of trans students at my high school, I've been a part of my university's qsa, I've gotten to serve on a panel for GLSEN Los Angeles where I worked with city officials on how to make la safer for trans/nb people. I've had my art about being trans get into galleries and I've won a couple awards for it. I get to attend other queer events near me and sell my art there and meet other queer folks in a town that's not a super safe place to be queer in.

I've gotten to see people grow and change their opinions on trans ppl bc now they know one and understand the concept better. Ive gotten the absolutely honor of people telling me that because I'm so open about myself that they began to feel comfortable exploring more about thelmselves.

I've lived more in these past 10 years than a lot of people will in 20. And as hard as its been I'm so FUCKING proud of how far I've come and I can't wait for the next 10.

It's not always glamorous, it's fucking hard as hell. For a long while I'd trade being a trans man for being a cis woman in a heartbeat, but now I wouldn't trade being trans for the world.

[whilomm]

Hey, so this is kinda off the wall, but I need to find a roommate but I'm so anxious about it, did you use a certain website? Or like do you have any roommate finding tips?

oh yeah i was super nervous about it too bc of previous bad experiences (with college apartments that were auto-matched), i guess my tips would be from someone whos only done this manually Once:

worth a shot, straight up ask if any of your friends need a roomie. sometimes things line up! didnt for me atm (aside from one friend who said "oh maybe in like 2 years but maybe not")

try and keep in mind that if it doesnt work out its not Forever if that helps you not freak out as much. like, maybe yall stay to the end of the lease and split, or if yall have to split before than eh youre just starting the matching process over again. getting that thru my head helped me lmao

as for websites, yeah there are a ton of specific roommate matching sites you can use, personally I just used facebook and posted in a couple of local groups with a lil thing about myself and I got some matches p quick. I live in a largerish city tho (austin tx) so if you live somewhere smaller there might not be AS big of a pool. facebook as a whole sucks of course but the groups here and there are useful!

I posted both in a more general group and a queer housing group, and i said a lil more about myself in the queer group, but you can also use your post to explicitly or gently filter out ppl you dont wanna live with. personally i did purposefully mention being autistic offhandedly just to hopefully filter out ppl wholl be cunts about that (made a lil comment about "im autistic and a super picky eater, so i wont eat your food lol"), you can explicitly say you dont wanna roomie who has pets/smokes/etc, stuff like that.

(oh, also, if you have a long abandoned facebook acct/need to make a new one, that can sometimes look a lil sus so maybe straight up say "i dont use facebook but i can give you one of my other socials if you want to snoop")

look around the website/group for examples from other people on what to include (max rent, apartment layout prefs, area, whether you already have a place picked out or not and if you'd be willing to apartment hunt w someone, timeframe, etc)

and of course actually say a lil about yourself in the listing. I know thats nerve wracking and all but eh, people wanna have a vague idea of you beforehand. List some of your hobbies/interests, normal boring stuff like that.

talk about how clean you are. and how clean you want your roomie to be. neat freaks and gross ppl may be Incompatible. "i can keep the common area clean but my rooms gonna be a mess" was my thing, and roomie is sameish, which works out!

make a listing, in multiple places if possible, and both see who contacts you and browse other peoples listings. this is defo a time to get over that fear of being the first to say hi! if someone lists a super sweet set up at a good price tho and gets 20 likes dont be surprised if they dont respond lmao, might have a waitlist going

(OH YEAH and if u havent used facebook in 10 years be aware on mobile theres a separate messaging app and you might miss ppl messaging bc of the stupid "pending" tab or whatever. a lotta ppl in the group specifically also commented "messaged!" on posts ig to just say "HEY CHECK THE OTHER STUPID APP IF IT DIDNT GIVE YOU A NOTIF", i found it REALLY easy to miss messages for a bit)

SCAMS EXIST! be cautious, dont just send ppl a "$500 deposit" off the bat, make sure you meet people IN PERSON and preferably talk to whoever you're gonna be renting from (like the leasing office if its an apt complex, or just the landlord) first before signing whatever someone on facebook sends u

as usual meet ppl in person in public places like coffee shops and tell ppl where you're going espec if you're going to look at the rental etc etc, same safety rules for meeting anyone from the internet

if you got any responsible adults in your life (like parents/family/friends who have more experience renting) just talk shit thru w them. maybe they can literally help u look at any contracts if you're not used to reading them, or maybe just chat w them about how shits going so they can just be like "oh yeah that all sounds normal they sound cool" or "YEAH THATS A RED FLAG".

oh yeah, make sure you READ YOUR LEASE. i know we all just Agree To The Terms And Conditions all the time but yeah contracts should be read. even if you dont read every word at least skim it, make sure u read the big things like the money numbers (and stuff like uh. how much notice the apt requires on move out. recently fucked over by that! 🙃). check for extra fees and numbers that are different than discussed. dont just sign whatevers put in front of you!!

think about how much Stuff you have. are you moving out for the first time and have Jack Shit? well, you probs wont have conflicts like "whos couch do we keep?" which is nice. do you currently live on your own and have p much all your own furniture? might be a lil issue if your roomie is also established! just st you gotta work out with your roommate, and if nothing else you could always get a cheap storage locker to set aside shit you dont wanna get rid of til you know its gonna work out long term. if its st important, maybe say it in your listing. personally i noted in my listing "i got a big ass couch i dont wanna get rid of" and my roommate specifically contacted me like "oh yeah the couch is chill" so all twas fine 👍

and like. try to talk shit out w your roomie when issues arise instead of letting shit boil over. gotta get good at this myself!

sorry for being long and disorganized but those are just a few of the things that popped into my head lol, +anyone else w more roomie searching experience has any advice on the matter feel free to chime in! im not really an expert or nothin but also feel free to ask more questions, i can at least try to answer!

[glitterxfemme]

Genuinely how do you initiate a hook up convo with someone on tinder without seeming creepy or just weird in general. I have no idea how the apps work and I hate them but what else can we do. Signed, confused lesbian 😵

ok hm this is always a difficult question for me to answer for a couple reasons. First being i don’t really hook up with people i meet on apps anymore and haven’t done so since like literally September LMAO this is because i live in a big city with a huge queer community and lesbian spaces where i can do meet people naturally which isn’t as easy for ppl in small towns/cities.

back in my app days though, idk i don’t think i ever worried about being creepy. it’s all about being subtle sometimes (and bold others) and extremely socially aware and kind of being able to read people really well (this isn’t always super easy for people or come naturally which makes it kind of hard for me to explain). It kinda would just happen i found, so i don’t have many tips. I think that the best advice i can give is to try not worry about being creepy so much. i know this sounds hard and especially being lesbians and being told our whole life were creepy really can make us hyperaware of our presence, but I think the best thing to keep in mind is that you matched because the other person thought you were attractive. They probably want you to flirt with them!

as far as initiating a hook up, for starters you’re gonna want to have something in ur bio that indicates you’re interested in hooking up. this can either be out right saying that you want a hook up or saying in a cute way which gives other people a chance to have something to play off of. for me, i had a subtle flirty lil sentence like “looking for my cowboy butch lover” and also had that i was a pillow princess in my bio. im not outright saying i am looking for hook ups but by having my sexual preferences out there people usually get the message im interested.

basically i don’t have much good advice on this. a lot of it is from me just being my flirty self bc it comes natural to me and then asking to meet up. i never really go into a tinder date knowing for sure we’re gonna hook up too. i don’t really ever talk that over with the person on the app tbh. i like to plan to meet up at a bar or something (bar or movie at your place especially is a good hook up “date” too) and then go from there. i think the in person is much more effective than what you say through an app. im so sorry this is so long winded with no real answer, i suck at explaining this haha the best thing i can say is don’t worry about being creepy because you’re not, don’t be afraid to meet people in person, and if possible (i understand this isn’t always possible but) try to get good at reading peoples body language, it really tells you the most

[queerrambles]

(I might've sent this to you already, I'm having a total ADHD moment and can't figure out who I sent it to and who didn't so if this is the second time ignore it and im sorry)

I've submitted this to a couple blogs, but it is a genuine question I have and so I'd like to get as widespread of an answer as I can get.

So I know what we talk about making found families as queer people, a lot of the time that ends up looking like a group of our peers, or a significant other, or a combination of the two.

But the way I've always looked at families is that they're not just made up of people your age. They're made up of so many different ages, they're made up of the grandmothers, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the mothers, the fathers, and I think that's something that I find harder to replicate in a found family then finding people my age I can make connections with.

So my question is, how do you go about creating and joining the larger communities/found family of queer people. Where do you find the older queers who can take on the roles of grandparents, and, uncles, cousins, surrogate parents, how do you go about connecting with younger queer people who you can take under your wing as surrogate brothers, sisters, and siblings.

Because I think it's entirely possible, or it should be entirely possible. I just don't know how you actually go about making those connections and finding those communities rather than just connecting to people your age and within your sphere.

And this could go for online communities, this could go for in real life communities. Honestly knowing how to find connections and make connections in both of those spheres would be helpful. But yeah I was hoping that even if you yourself don't actually necessarily have an answer to this, that by sharing it maybe someone else will have more of an answer.

First of all, I apologize for taking so long to answer! I completely forgot about this ask :/

Second, I am terrible at making connections (I literally have 0 irl friends lol) so I might not be the best person to ask for advice.

However, I will say that probably the best place to meet and connect with queer folks of different ages (irl) is to join a Facebook group. I know Facebook is kinda awful, but I've found that there are a lot of queer groups on Facebook that will post local events and queer gatherings.

For instance, when I lived in Colorado, I joined a Facebook group for queer folks in my city. There were queer people of many different ages in that group, and they would frequently post about different gatherings and events that they were holding. Some of the events were things like going hiking (a very popular pastime in Colorado), going to get coffee together, dances, and just a lot of general hanging out type gatherings.

I never went to any of the events because 1. I was living with my queerphobic dad at the time, and 2. I have extreme social anxiety. However, it always looked like a lot of fun, and I wish I had gone to some of those events and made connections with other queer people.

The group also posted about queer resources like information on hrt in the area. It was so cool.

Anyway, tl;dr: see if you can find a Facebook group for queer people in your city, or even queer people in your region. It's a great place to make connections with queer people of all ages.

If anyone has any other suggestions, please leave a comment or reblog!

[bluescreen-puppy-dot-com]

okay i realized one of my problems when it comes to meeting other queer people in my city is that im like, hesitent to attend queer events, i mean even virtual ones which are what id be attending anyway idk.......

[wowhead]

.

bbrooooooo i NEED to move out of this house.....i cannot keep living with my fucking brothers. one is loud as fuck, and his dumb ass friend is staying with us in a goddamn tent in the living room and he's even louder. plus he smells like shit. one brother is a straight up neo-nazi. he's the reason i'm not out as trans to my family. my other brother and nephew live here and i dont mind them but like. we all have different schedules. i work in the evenings so i'm up late. but others are asleep and one bedroom is right next to the room with the computer and TV so if im up at night all i can do is use the computer or play playstation with the volume off. and when i'm up early they're still asleep so i cant play with the dog indoors.

but its so hard to move out bc i can't drive!!!! i live in out in the sticks and there's no public transport here. i only have a job bc theres a grocery store plaza down the road from me. and theres like no places to meet other queer people unless you go into the city. i need to get away from my family and live as an openly trans person in a place where i can meet and make friends with other trans and queer people. BUT I CANT AFFORD TO DO SHIT. i can't work full time bc i'd fucking kill myself if i had to work 40 hours a week. mentally i cannot do it. so like i couldnt afford to live by myself. but i have no friends irl and dont even really know anyone. so theres not anyone i could live with or rent a place with. sorry to rant it just sucks!!! and i feel like i'm stuck!!