#AND THERE WAS THIS ONE PIECE THEY HAD. WHERE DEAN HAD DIED. AND CAS KEPT GOING | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aylacavebear · 18 days

Text

Retribution Chapter 9

Summary: You had DID for most of your life, over forty years, since you were two. It wasn't until after you were forty-three that you were finally able to heal it and become a singular. You're a hunter and have been with Dean for a very long time. Once you become singular, you have to face the horrors that your mental illness subjected on those you cared about, loved. Can you get past seeing yourself as worse than any monster you've ever hunted down?

Pairing is Dean Winchester x Reader/You

Warnings: Talk of DID - Dissociation Identity Disorder (AKA MPD), Mental Health Issues, Angst - lots, some Fluff, Healing (yes, this is a warning).

Please, if you suffer from any mental illness, seek help. There are people out there who can help you get through it, no matter how alone you feel now or how hard it may seem.

A/N: This is going to be very dark, darker than anything I've written thus far. It will include many triggers - abuse both sexual and physical - in memories and what happens to the reader. I'm hoping it will have a happy ending but right now, I am not sure where this will go. This is your main warning before you begin reading. A/N: Dreams and Memories are indented in italics. Thoughts are in italics only.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 9 - Picking Up the Pieces Pt. 3

You woke up in your bed, confused, and looked over at the clock.

Shit!

It was after two in the afternoon. Eileen and Charlie had shown up hours ago. You got out of bed and were about to head out of your room when Cas was there, between you and the door, making you jump.

“I’m sorry for startling you. You had a panic attack. I put you to sleep so you could naturally come out of it. It was the only thing I could think of. I didn’t want to involve Dean. I know how you feel about that,” he explained quickly.

You hugged him, which he returned, “Thank you, again. I’m just not used to… any of this. It’s so lonely, both in my head and around here.” Tears again burned the corners of your eyes, which you squeezed shut, deciding you weren’t going to cry right now.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m here, as your friend. When you’re ready, the girls are here,” he replied.

Pulling away from him, you took a deep breath and gave Cas a nod before both of you headed out of your room and down the hallway. You walked behind him, utterly nervous about how this was going to go. You knew what kind of flirty relationship some of your personalities had had with Charlie, but you didn’t see her that way.

There was laughter coming from the library, but it quickly died down when you and Cas made your way there. When Cas moved from in front of you to his seat at one of the tables, Charlie and Eilieen just stared at you for a moment before both of them jumped up and wrapped you in a hug.

You didn’t realize you looked like a scared child, and they were going to give you a chance with the DID gone. Even though you hadn’t wanted to cry, feeling them hug you, hugging them back, the tears fell without your consent.

“I’d thought you’d hate me,” you whispered, even though you knew Eileen couldn’t hear you.

“You’re family, Y/N. We don’t hate you,” Charlie tried to reassure you, looking at Eileen so she could read her lips.

“She’s right,” Eileen added, “We don’t hate you.”

Eileen may have been deaf, but she could read lips, and still speak reasonably well for a deaf person. You’d learned sign language after meeting her, and you’d kept that after healing the DID.

“Now, let’s go have some drinks and get to know this new you,” Charlie chuckled, wiping the tears from your cheeks.

You managed to smile but looked more at the floor as you walked with the two of them to one of the tables. Eileen sat across from Charlie, and you sat next to Charlie but turned your chair so you were facing the two of them more so than the boys.

“I don’t even know where to start,” you chuckled, signing the words as you spoke them, making it easier for Eileen to follow the conversation.

“Sam kept us updated for most of it. How about you tell us how it feels without the DID?” Charlie asked fairly curiously.

You had to pretend that neither of the brothers was sitting at the table, thankful that you couldn’t see either of them with how you were sitting. You took a swig of the beer you’d grabbed off the table before you began, signing the words as you spoke.

“It’s weird. The thoughts in my head are mine. When I’m emotional, I can’t just go inside my head and let someone else take over,” you paused, taking a deep breath, as these were things you hadn’t shared with the brothers. After another swig of your beer, you continued.

“I kept some stuff from the personalities and got rid of the stuff that I didn’t want. I never want to hurt or abuse anyone again, so anything related to that I got rid of. I think the hardest part, at least in the beginning, was figuring out what I truly wanted.” You explained, this time taking a sip of your beer.

“That’s crazy,” Eileen said, fairly surprised.

“You gonna keep hunting?” Charlie asked.

“I honestly don’t know. Everything feels like it’s up in the air right now,” you answered, keeping things vague, but you caught the look Charlie shot Dean.

“Well, if you want to, you’re always welcome to come with us girls,” Charlie teased playfully.

“Yeah, leave the boys home to worry for a change,” Eileen added, giving Sam a look.

“Thanks,” you chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Charlie took a sip of her beer and looked at you. “So, why did you take off like you did?”

You knew that question would eventually come up, “I was mostly scared. I was also overwhelmed by everything that came flooding forward. It was a lot,” you began, then looked down at your lap and sighed. “I was looking for Crowley. I figured since he was the king of hell, I could make a deal with him. Have the same things done to me or put through some kind of torture for what I’d done to those I care about. I thought… I thought that way, they could have retribution for what my personalities had done to them.”

Both girls gave the brothers a look, which you missed before Charlie spoke up again, “Hey. I’m willing to give you a chance. The old you never would have said that stuff, let alone meant it.” You felt her hand over one of yours, making you look up at her, and she saw the sadness in your eyes.

“And if that lug-head over there doesn’t want the new and improved you,” she glanced at Dean before looking back at you, winking, “I’d take you in a heartbeat.”

You swore you blushed to your toes, feeling completely embarrassed, and had to look away from her, “That’s sweet of you, Charlie. I’m uh… I’m not into girls,” you stuttered out, embarrassed.

She shrugged her shoulders and leaned back in her chair, taking her beer in hand, “That’s okay. I don’t mind playing with you and showing you a good time,” she teased you further, causing Eileen to laugh and your blush to deepen.

You were speechless and now needed something stronger than beer to calm your nerves. You were aware of the flirting that had gone on between a few of your personalities and Charlie, but you were not prepared for her to flirt with you. Out of the corner of your eye you saw the whiskey bottle on the table and grabbed it, taking a swig.

It burned a little going down, and you made a face as you set the bottle back on the table. Your heart was pounding in your chest again. You recognized the sign instantly as the beginning of a panic attack.

“Excuse me. I’ll be back in a minute,” you said calmly as you stood and walked to the kitchen.

You placed your hands on the table as you slid down into one of the seats, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. It took a few minutes, but you managed to calm down your racing heart and steady your breathing.

He didn’t say anything.

With a heavy heart, you walked back to the doorway when you heard them all talking. Some of it was hard to make out, so you got as close as possible without being seen.

“Seriously, Dean?!” Charlie snapped, “I’ve been around her for all of ten minutes and can tell she’s fucking different.”

“Even Cas is vouging for her,” Eileen added.

“It has to be some sort of game or trick,” Sam began to argue, but Eileen cut him off.

“Sam, Dean. She’s different. If she needs to stay somewhere else until both of you can see that, we’ll take her,” Eileen stated bluntly.

“I’m sure Jody would even take her in. That woman is perceptive, and even she’d be able to tell within the first five minutes that her DID is gone,” Charlie snapped at the brothers.

“Her personalities have done stuff like this before. I just… I can’t,” Dean tried to argue.

“I swear to Chuck, Dean. I know what her personalities put you through. Cas told us that she baked you a pie today and did your laundry, and about what she did in the room, you two shared. I don’t care what you think is going on. Anyone with half a brain cell can see she’s different,” Charlie persisted.

You sighed silently and walked into the library, “Thanks, Charlie, Eileen, for seeing me. Please, don’t force them though. And please, don’t be mean to them just because they haven’t seen what you guys do.” Your voice was quiet, and your gaze was again on the floor. “I wanted to have a nice evening with friends, family.”

Cas had stayed quiet during all of this. He’d said all he could say to them, and he was proud of you for defending the brothers, even though he saw how much their disbelief had been hurting you.

Charlie and Eileen finished their beers before standing, “Y/N, you have our numbers. Text either of us if you need a place to stay for the night or longer,” Charlie told you. Then, they both hugged you before they left. Eileen didn’t even kiss Sam beforehand. Your gaze hadn’t left the floor, not even when you heard the bunker door close behind the girls.

“Great! So now you have them tricked as well, and Eileen is pissed at me because of you,” Sam snapped, making you flinch.

“I’m sorry…” you practically whispered, feeling the waves of sadness wanting to drown you again.

“That’s enough,” Cas growled, which made you look up at him. Cas wasn’t angry often, but he looked pissed at the moment. “Just because you have your doubts doesn’t mean you get to be mean to Y/N. Same goes for you, Dean. She needs a healthy environment to finish healing in, as well as friends and family who are on her side while she does. If it’s too hard for the two of you, I’ll take her somewhere else.”

The brothers were speechless, and you felt the tears on your cheeks again. Cas had been their friend before he was ever yours, and now, he was standing up for you, against them. With a shaky breath, you walked over and set your hand on his shoulder.

“I appreciate this Cas. I really do, but… I’ll be okay here. Honestly, I probably deserve far worse, and if Karma decides, she’ll dish it out as she sees fit,” you told him quietly.

Karma and Fate were technically the same entity. You didn’t know if you were on their radar or if they would even bother with you, but you had to at least consider it, given your line of work.

“You don’t deserve that. It wasn’t you. You’re different. You’re not them-” Cas began, but you stopped him.

“That part doesn’t matter. Same face on the mugshot,” you replied quietly, then went to your room and closed the door behind you.

It had become your sanctuary at this point. You leaned against your door after locking it, letting your head fall back slowly till it met the door behind you.

Was I wrong with what I said? Should I have let them keep going, keep arguing? I don’t want to be the reason they fight with each other. They’re family. They’re each allowed to have their own opinions, thoughts.

You sighed and felt like you were stuck in a never-ending rut and no clue how to get out of it. You weren’t even sure how to proceed with Dean, as he’d made no move to be near you, let alone interact with you since that morning. And Sam acted like he would rather just kill you than give you any sort of chance.

Looking toward your closet, you thought about your bag that lay empty at the bottom of it.

Perhaps if I leave, things might be better for them, easier.

A groan left your lips in frustration as you sat down at your desk and pulled out your paper and pen, again writing out your thoughts before choosing any sort of action. You knew this was going to be hard, but going through it was something entirely different.

You understood how they felt toward you, more than you could even explain to either of them, even if Sam wouldn’t listen. When you wrote, you wrote as if you were writing to them, getting out everything you wanted to tell them or say to them. It helped far more than keeping a regular journal, but you had one like that, too.

Tears slipped from your cheeks while you wrote, allowing it all just to come out. At least Sam had been blunt with how he felt toward you. That at least let you know where you stood with him. Dean’s silence and distance had been the hardest.

You had no clue what was going through his head, but that was just how Dean worked. He had never been the best at sharing his emotions with others. He’d only done that with one of your personalities, her. The one you’d kept the most from.

That’s probably why it hurts so bad. I’m not her, but I’m like her, and he can see it, and it hurts him.

The thought brought more tears to the point where you had to pause writing and cry for a bit to get them out. You still had a couple hours before you’d be starting dinner and decided to just stay in your room until then. At least there, it was quiet.

Dean’s POV

He had no idea what to do since you’d told him what you had that morning when he’d been enjoying the pie you had made for him. Hell, he didn’t even know what to say about that. He couldn’t even manage to thank you for it.

Dean wanted so badly to believe Cas, but Sam had made a valid point; your personalities had done things like this before to lull him into a false sense of security. His mind and heart were at war, not only with each other but with themselves.

You were so much like her that it hurt not to be close to you, but it hurt to see it and experience your softness. So, after you’d gone to your room, he just sat there, sipping his whiskey, silently lost in his thoughts.

“Cas, how can you be one hundred percent sure that her DID is gone?” Sam asked almost angrily, which caused Dean to glance at him with his eyebrow raised.

“I’m an angel, Sam. I can see into her mind. There is literally no trace of her other personalities. It’s just her in there,” Cas answered, fairly annoyed.

“But she’s acting like them,” Sam argued.

Cas made a groan/sigh, “She chose what she wanted to keep and what she didn’t. Weren’t you paying attention earlier? Do you even care, or would you rather hate her because of her past that she had no control over?” He again made an aggravated groan before he stood up, placing both his hands on the table.

“Bobby was right when he called the two of you idjits. You are. You’ve both been able to forgive each other and move past the lies and deceit each of you has done to each other. All the two of you have wanted for the last ten years was for Y/N to find a way to heal from the DID. Now that she has, you want to kill her, and you will barely look at her,” Cas scolded them.

Cas typically didn’t get angry like this, and when neither brother said a word, he kept going, “I’m only going to give this one more week before I take her somewhere else. She needs encouragement, friendship, and family. You two need to wake the hell up and see her for who she is, not who she was.” With that, Cas disappeared from the library. Dean sighed and looked down at the glass of amber liquid in front of him. He had a point, and Dean knew that.

Can I dare to hope that she’s really different, that her personalities are really gone?

It was the question that continued to circle in his mind.

“Cas doesn’t usually get like that,” Sam said somewhat quietly, pulling Dean from his thoughts.

“Maybe he’s right. I mean, what if we give her at least one more chance?” Dean said just as quietly as Sam had.

Sam sighed, “I just can’t watch you go through all that again. I know you love her, at least that one personality she had. But…” he paused and glanced at the hallway, “...could you love her?”

Dean shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know. She’s different, but there are certain similarities that I see, and… it hurts, you know. I just, I don’t know how much more it would hurt if she wasn’t here.”

The two were silent for a while. Dean sipped his whiskey, and Sam sipped his beer. Neither of them really knew what to say, not out loud, at least. It wasn’t until you walked through the war room and into the kitchen that Dean finally spoke up.

“I’m gonna at least talk to her. We’ve spent years reading people. We learned her quirks when she had DID. I’m going to learn what makes her different now that it’s gone,” Dean stated quietly as he looked toward the kitchen.

“Dean, just, don’t get your hopes up,” Sam tried to argue, but even he was having a hard time with that with what Cas had said.

“I’m not, Sam. I’m gonna treat her like she’s someone new, someone I don’t know and haven’t spent the last almost twenty years with,” Dean told him quietly.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Sam remarked, fidgeting with his beer.

“I’m not asking you to, but no more being an ass to her. Cas was right about one thing. If he is right about her DID, she doesn’t deserve to be treated like she was the one who did those things,” Dean said flatly but seriously.

Dean finished his drink before he made his way into the kitchen, and he couldn’t help the smile when he smelled what you were cooking. He didn’t want to startle you, so he knocked on the doorframe, alerting you to his presence before he sat at the kitchen table, watching you.

Your POV

After writing out everything from in your head, you went to the kitchen to start dinner since it was close enough to time, and you were getting hungry. You saw the brothers still sitting in the library but said nothing as you went to the kitchen. Once the fries were in the oven, you started on the burgers and bacon.

He hadn’t said anything.

That thought, from Charlie's earlier words, was still bothering you, and you were still trying to shake it out of your mind. When you heard the knock on the doorframe, you did jump a little, but not as much as you would have if he hadn’t done that. You gave Dean a small smile before looking back at the food on the stove.

The silence was deafening the longer he just sat there and didn’t say anything, but you weren’t sure what to say to him at this point. You felt like you wanted to cry, and at the same time, you wanted to yell at him. It would have been easier if he’d just hate you, yell at you, and tell you to get out. But, he hadn’t done that either.

“Do you hate me, because I’m here and they’re gone?” you asked quietly, not looking over at him.

It had been something that had gone through his mind, more than he wanted to admit, “No. I don’t hate you. I wanted to. I even tried to,” he began, then sighed. “Then, this morning, you looked so happy, and you baked me pie,” he looked down at his hands clasped together on the table.

“I almost left again, earlier. I figured neither of you wanted me here anymore,” you confessed, flipping the burgers in the pan.

“Honestly, I’m afraid they’ll come back, and it’ll start all over again,” he confessed.

“If that happens, Sam’s already let me know he’ll shoot me, which I’m thankful for,” you replied, checking the bacon and fries.

“He what?” Dean asked, and you could hear the hint of anger in his tone, along with the shock of your revelation.

That made you look over at him, worried, “I don’t want to hurt anyone again. But, most of all, I don’t want to hurt you or Sam. I know you wouldn’t be able to do it. I just…” you turned from him when you felt the tears burn your eyes again. “...I can’t put you through that again.”

Whatever fight Dean had in him to keep his distance from you was gone at that moment, and he was behind you, holding you close. “Which personalities did you keep things from?” he asked you quietly.

You put the cheese on the burgers and turned off the oven and the burner on which the bacon was on. As you spoke, you put the bacon on the plate with the rest. “The kind ones,” you answered quietly, “I’m not them, though. I’m just like them in ways.”

Dean stepped back so you could finish taking care of dinner, leaning against the island and crossing his arms. “Is that why you’re cooking my favorite meal?” he asked.

“I wanted to do something nice for you. It’s hard to know what’s okay and what’s not. I don’t even know if you want me, since I’m not them,” you answered without looking at him, working on dinner.

You put the fries in a bowl, the burgers on a plate, the bacon on a plate, and then set the table for the three of you since Cas didn’t eat. Dean just watched you from where he’d been. You set your hands on the end of the table, your back to Dean.

“I just don’t know what I am to you, and I don’t want to push for anything. I honestly just want you to be happy and find some semblance of peace, even if that means without me,” you told him quietly before heading out of the kitchen.

Sam was still in the library, sipping another beer as you approached him, “Dinner’s done,” you told him from the archway between the library and the war room.

He picked up his beer and gave you what looked like a forced smile before he walked past you and into the kitchen. You sighed, letting your shoulders fall in a mild defeat, then headed to the kitchen as well.

Dean was sitting on the side of the table with two plates, setting up his plate when you walked in. When Sam went to sit next to him, he put his hand out, blocking the seat and motioned with his head for Sam to sit on the other side of the table.

You gingerly approached the table and sat down next to Dean. He still hadn’t shunned you, but he hadn’t exactly said much in the other direction either. “I hope you guys like it,” you said quietly and then made up your plate.

When Dean took a bite of his burger, he moaned at the taste and you couldn’t help the smile that brought to your lips. You ate a fry quickly, trying to hide how happy you felt with him enjoying something you made. Even Sam’s surprised expression brought you a sense of joy, but you stayed quiet and ate your dinner.

Dean and Sam had silent conversations with just a glance several different times during dinner. You didn’t need to ask if they liked it. You could see that they did, and that brought a small, content smile to your lips.

You smiled to yourself as you got up when you were done and began cleaning up. This was something you never would have done before. Sam and Dean just watched you for a moment before returning to eating. You cleaned up the counters and the island and realized that the two had finished eating.

“I got it,” you said softly and began cleaning up the table so you could start on the dishes.

“That’s different,” Sam barely whispered the words to Dean so you couldn’t hear.

Dean turned to look at you as you stood at the sink, washing the dishes, flabbergasted and speechless for a moment. There was one thing he could do that would give him insight as to whether or not the DID was gone, and he knew it. He took a deep breath, got up, and approached you.

His heart was pounding in his chest, and he tried not to second-guess himself or overthink what he was planning to do. He put his arms around your waist, holding you for a moment. You did jump slightly, but you didn’t pull away, yell at him, or get violent. You just leaned against him while you washed the dishes.

“Dinner was really good, Sweetheart,” he told you quietly, trying so hard not to hope, but it was getting harder and harder not to.

“I’m glad you liked it,” you replied softly.

It was comforting, feeling him hold you close like this. You just hoped that it was you he was holding and not the memory of them. He stayed there the entire time you spent washing the dishes, which made you smile a little.

When you put the final dish in the drainer and cleaned out the sink, he still hadn’t moved, and you weren’t sure what to do or say. You dried your hands on the lower part of your shirt, since the towel was out of reach without pulling away from him.

“Can we talk?” he finally asked you, and you felt that anxiety again as your body tensed. “Hey, if I wanted you gone, I’d say that. I just want to talk, I promise.”

You let out a shaky breath, “Okay. Where would you like to talk?” you asked nervously.

“I’d ask you where you felt more comfortable, but I have a feeling you’d want to be where I felt the most comfortable, huh?” he replied, pulling you a little closer.

“You’d be right,” you chuckled, unable to help yourself.

“Alright then. How about my room then?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, even if you couldn’t see his face with how he was holding you.

“I’m okay with that,” you replied, taking a deep breath.

“Then why do you seem nervous?” he asked.

“Cause I am. I can’t help it. I worry,” you answered honestly.

Dean kissed the top of your head before he moved away from you, but then he took your hand and led you to his room. Sam had gone to his own room a little while ago, needing to be alone, and Cas hadn’t returned yet.

He opened his door and let you go in first, then closed the door behind him, “You can sit where you’re comfortable,” he told you as he went over and sat in the chair at his desk, facing the bed.

You couldn’t hide your disappointment at the distance he put between the two of you, but you understood, at least to a point, why he needed it. So, you sat on the edge of his bed at the foot of it, cross-legged with your hands in your lap.

“Do you feel the same for me?” he asked, his straight-to-the-point question surprised you.

“I honestly don’t know. I know how they felt. I guess…” you trailed off, trying to find the right words as you looked into those emerald green eyes of his, searching for some sign of what he was hiding. “...I love you in my own way.” You looked down at your hands, feeling somewhat stupid after saying what you had.

“Can you explain what you mean by that?” he asked, his mask still up.

“Because of what Cas did, I don’t have all the memories right now. I do know that you never raised a hand to them, cheated on them, left them, or kicked them to the curb over the entire time. You tried, every chance you got, to help them deal with daily life and the DID. You even tried to help them get help so they could get better,” you explained quietly. The more you spoke, the more foolish you felt for falling for him through their memories. “That’s probably stupid, though, loving you for that sort of thing.”

You barely caught him tense, stopping himself from moving so he could sit next to you, “It’s not stupid. It’s kinda thoughtful, sweet.” he said softly.

“Thanks,” you said, slightly shyly, looking down at your lap again, trying not to smile, which wasn’t working very well.

“Look. I look at you, and yeah, I see them. However, I can tell that you’re different, and that’s probably the hardest part,” he began, and you looked up at him, unsure what to feel. “You act like her, but she’s gone. I know you aren’t them. I just…” he sighed, “...maybe I need to mourn them before I can move on.”

You felt your entire chest tighten, and it was hard to breathe again. “I can leave, if that would make it easier,” you told him quietly, focusing on your hands in your lap again. Looking at him hurt far too much at the moment.

“At least for a little while. I just need some time,” he told you.

All you could do was nod a little, unable to trust speaking, knowing you’d end up crying. You slowly stood and walked to his door, turning the knob and opening it. Your heart hoped he’d stop you, ask you to stay, but he didn’t, so you went to your room, closing your door behind you.

You crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep. Just because you understood what he was going through didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. You didn’t want to stay with Eileen, Charlie, or Jody. You wanted to be alone in some dark hole where no one was. For now, though, you’d sleep, and figure it out in the morning.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 10 - On Your Own

Retribution Master List

Tag List: @jc-winchester @nancymcl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

13 notes · View notes

trannydean-moved · 9 months

Text

Feigning Normalcy - Fictober Prompt #02

Prompt - #02, "Don't worry, I got you."

Fandom - Supernatural

Rating - T

Warnings - General angst, death and dying mentions, grief, torture mention, cursing

Word count - 1.4k

Summary - Jaime hasn't been taking care of himself since Dean left. Cas knows he needs sleep, and isn't going to let Jaime keep going without it.

A/N - This is a smaller piece of a future scene I plan on writing for my mainverse series for Jaime--I hope everyone likes it <3

It had been six days since Dean had left, and Jaime was showing no signs of returning to a normal schedule. He was still barely eating, and sleeping even less. Castiel knew this was an issue—knew even better now that he had experienced what being human was like. If his experiences had taught him anything, it was that humans needed food and sleep. Lots of it, really.

If you didn’t get that, it hurt, for one thing. As if your insides were revolting against you for not feeding them, and deciding to try consuming itself to satisfy the hunger. Or, your mind got fuzzy and you couldn’t concentrate, because keeping itself awake was all your brain could handle—it couldn’t start thinking beyond that.

Castiel had a hard time with this when he had first landed back from Heaven as a human. But after Dean told him to leave, and Jaime came with him, Jaime was very keen on keeping the both of them not hungry, not exhausted. Castiel recalled that Jaime had lived out of his truck, by himself, for a long time, and was already used to the conditions they met up with.

He was able to fix their situation swiftly enough to the point where they weren’t suffering too badly. Castiel had been lost, but Jaime had a constant grip on him, so at least he wasn’t alone. His companionship had been good.

But now Jaime was the one who was lost. Now Jaime was the one who needed someone to grip him and hold on tight, to let him know that despite how awful things were, he wasn’t alone. He needed that terribly right now.

Castiel couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the Bunker when Jaime was in this condition, so he had lingered, feeling awkward. He didn’t know how life usually was in the Bunker, but he was sure what occurred now wasn’t it.

He had watched children play, having fun with just existing. Though most of the young ones here were actually adolescents, poor souls stuck in between carefree child and experienced adult, it was almost certain to him that these sullen faces and quiet voices weren’t normal.

Sam was the one carrying almost all the weight of keeping things as usual as possible here. He tried acting normal, tried treating each day like an average one. But Castiel could see in all of their faces—it wasn’t the same, no matter how much they pretended it was. It wasn’t the same without Dean.

That’s what was hurting Jaime the most. Of course, that didn’t downsize any of the other things he’d experienced within the past two weeks. He had lost Kevin, he had watched Sam—Gadreel possessing Sam’s body, but still, Sam—being tortured, he had died, for goodness’ sake. Though Castiel and the Winchesters were unfortunately familiar with dying, Jaime wasn’t. This was his first time, and Castiel hoped dearly it was his last.

But losing Dean, again, so soon after getting back to him, was the final blow that had really thrown Jaime into the state he was in now. He would’ve been able to handle everything better if Dean was here. But he wasn’t, and Castiel was helpless to make that hurt go away.

He couldn’t remove the pain, he couldn’t fix this. That was something Castiel hated. All he wanted to do was fix this, but he couldn’t. No matter how many times he touched Jaime’s forehead, or how many soft kisses he press to his face or his heart, none of it could take away the anguish Jaime was harboring.

Castiel knew he had to do something, though. Jaime was going to kill himself if he kept up with not eating or sleeping. That was something he could remedy, surely.

So he entered Jaime’s room, the place he had been spending the most time in. He was usually at his desk or on his bed, laptop in front of him, looking for any clue to where Dean could have gone. Castiel was sure Jaime’s eyes were straining from how much they have been staring at the screen.

Right now, Jaime was sitting on his bed, legs crossed over each other. He didn’t look up as Castiel entered, though Venus did—she raised her head to stare at him for a moment, then rested back against Jaime’s leg, looking up at her owner with big eyes. Castiel could feel the concern that the little dog held for Jaime, and he wondered if Jaime knew how much his dog cared about him.

With soft steps, Castiel came to sit on the bed beside Jaime, on the opposite side Venus was on. Jaime’s eyes flickered over to him for a moment, before returning to the screen.

“Jaime,” Castiel said softly. “How long has it been since you slept?”

He was given a halfhearted shrug in return. Castiel waited a moment, to see if he would be given anything else to go on, but he got nothing.

“If you can’t remember how long it’s been, then that means it’s been too long,” he commented, quoting what Jaime had told him, several weeks back. Probably remembering this, Jaime let out a small huff, a little bit of amusement showing through.

“It’s fine, Cas, I’m fine,” Jaime told him, his voice a bit rough—it was from lack of use, and that was saddening, since Jaime wasn’t one for keeping quiet.

Castiel had by now learned that “I’m fine” was code for “I’m not fine, I just don’t want to talk about it”. Both Winchesters and Jaime did this so often that it was something Castiel was actually able to pick up on somewhat quickly. That was all right, however—they didn’t need to talk about it. Jaime just needed to sleep.

“You need sleep,” Castiel said bluntly. “Humans can’t survive on such little sleep. Your body is going to shut down sooner or later. Probably sooner, at the rate you’re going.”

“Dammit, Cas, I said I’m fine.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Yeah, well, whatever. Doesn’t matter. I’ve got better things to do than sleep.”

Castiel seriously doubted this, and he was sure that could be seen on the frown he gave Jaime. Jaime caught a glance of it and sighed heavily, rubbing his face with one hand.

“I’ll sleep later, okay? I’m doing shit right now.”

This was something common with this particular group of humans, too—they would say they’d do something later, but then didn’t end up doing so. It usually was something that could be counted under self-care, a category that Sam, Dean, and Jaime all had issues dealing with. It was incredibly frustrating.

He couldn’t let Jaime put off sleeping any longer. When Jaime removed his hand from his face, Castiel reached forward to press two fingers against Jaime’s forehead. As soon as his fingers touched, Jaime’s eyes rolled back, and a moment later, he was collapsed onto his back, out like a light.

Venus was startled by Jaime’s sudden collapse, springing to her paws and racing up to Jaime’s face. She sniffed him fervently, giving him a little lick on the nose before concluding he was okay. She sat back down.

Reaching for Jaime’s laptop, Castiel picked it up and closed it, returning it to its rightful place on the desk. Then, he lifted Jaime to properly lay him on the bed, covering him with his blanket, resting his head on a pillow. Venus curled up at his side, resting her head on Jaime’s stomach. She was a very good dog.

Castiel sat himself on the other side of the bed Jaime wasn’t occupying. He carefully toed off his shoes before bringing his legs up to rest. A soft sigh left him as he glanced over at Jaime, now sleeping peacefully. At least now he could get a little rest.

“Don’t worry, I got you,” he whispered, unnecessarily. He had noticed Jaime had whispered similar things to him, when he was still human and Jaime had thought Castiel was asleep. He knew Jaime did it to comfort him, and Castiel wanted to do the same for him. Needed to, even.

He reached over to caress Jaime’s cheek with his knuckles, a slight touch he’d hardly notice even if he was awake.

Dean wasn’t here, but at least Jaime didn’t have to worry about that for a little while, now. He could sleep for a time. That would be okay.

#dean writes #fictober 2023 #oc: jaime morgan #oc: venus #castiel #jestiel #general angst #death mention #dying mention #grief #torture mention #cursing

7 notes · View notes

wisefoxluminary · 11 months

Text

Dean is staring out into the heavenly night, leaning against the impala as his mind is conflicted. He had been fighting for so long. Now that he had died, there was still work to be done. He had to do anything he could to repair the fraught universe, to ensure that nothing can interfere with Sam's happiness. He wanted Sam to live out the life he always wanted. He wanted to do all the work that needed to be done if he wanted to achieve peace with his family. But deep down, one thing was troubling him, a lingering wish that burned bright in his heart. He would give everything to see Castiel again, the angel who had risked everything for him. He had done everything in his willpower to keep Dean safe, he gave up his blind faith to serve Dean in his cause. Dean had changed Cas for the better. He made him feel like he was human, a feeling he had been longing for ever since he first stepped foot on the holy earth. After so many years of sacrifice and kinship, it was the goodbye that hurt the most. Castiel had gave his life to the darkness to save Dean, the man he loved. The words I Love You were forever engraved on his heart. He wished he could turn back the clock and say everything he needed to say, to unearth the buried feelings he had kept under suppression. He needed to see Cas, no matter what trials he had to accomplish to be under the angel's warm embrace again. Now that Cas was in heaven, maybe Dean could repair the pieces that had crumbled that last night on earth, to address what was left unspoken. It happened so fast that Dean couldn't even save him, he just watched as he slipped away into the dark abyss. Everyone he lost, disappeared from him like a flash of light. Now that he was fighting for peace, he could right every wrong in his past. Cas was one of them and he needed to see him again. He had saved his parents, that was one thing on his list checked out. Saying what he needed to say to Cas was the next thing to mark off.

Dean could feel a presence making its way towards him, like the great powers of heaven were keeping his spirit guarded. Jack was behind him.

Jack: Are you alright Dean, you seem troubled?

Jack was the only source of comfort Dean needed right now. He sighs, unwilling to keep his emotions bottled up anymore.

Dean: You once told me there'll be peace when I'm done. I've been this world's beholden anchor for so long. I won't rest until the sun sets on my hunter's legacy. But there's one thing I need to make up for....and that's for never saying a proper goodbye.

Jack watches Dean with a coy smile, reading the feeling of longing on his face. He knows exactly what he's thinking.

Jack: I know how you feel Dean. Cas misses you with all his heart. He tries his best to stay strong, but he can't help but watch over you in heaven's pale light. He did this all for you.

Dean: Watching from a distance is a pain in the ass. Is there a way....I can speak to him? I need to see him Jack.

Jack: Don't worry Dean, I can arrange that. Just hold tight.

Jack's eyes begin to glow a faint blue as Dean watches in astonishment.

Jack: You will feel nothing. My power will take you to where you most desire to be.

Jack puts a hand on Dean's forehead as the world around him is engulfed in heavenly, blinding light. Dean opens his eyes to find himself in a calming abyss, an ancient tapestry of a restored heaven as there was a majestic garden surrounding him. Everything around him was drenched in phosphorescence as it was like he had been transported to the most purest part of heaven. It wasn't what Dean expected but here he was, waiting for his angel to return.

Castiel: Hello Dean...

Dean turns around to see Castiel standing there in the heavenly light, a worn smile on his face. He looked like he never changed. He was still the same man from the night the darkness swallowed him. The same man who fought by his side for countless decades. The man who professed his love in a time of great desperation. Looking at Cas's brown trench coat and blue eyes was like time had stopped, like nothing had gone by for Castiel since he had sacrificed his life that day in the bunker. Dean had changed, he was a different man now that he was dead. But seeing Cas was enough to remind him that his humanity was still within him.

Dean could feel tears prickle at his eyes as he went in to hug Castiel, something he had been longing for ever since he lost him all those years ago.

Dean: I missed you buddy....

Castiel could sense the sadness in Dean's mind, of how he missed him so desperately. It didn’t matter if separation kept them apart, they would always find one another again.

Castiel: I never thought I'd see you again Dean....

Dean: Well life happens, what can I say.

Dean pulls away from Cas's embrace as he admires the heavenly sight before him.

Dean: So you became all high and mighty? I'm loving the place by the way. Suits you.

Castiel, smiling: Ever since Jack rescued me from the empty, I stood by his side as I helped him rebuild the gates of heaven. I bask in the light and watch as I ensure the the universe is perfectly balanced. There are worlds born anew who still need a protector. This world needed an omniscient being to watch over it. Heaven is a station of peace thanks to Jack's power. I have been helping him keep an eye on things. Especially you Dean. I still have great purpose to carry out before my work is done, but I can assure you, I will be at peace once again.

Dean: I'm doing all of this for Sammy. There is still so much work to be done before I can find peace with him. Until the universe is safe from all evil, I'll get my time to rest.

Castiel: You are a strong man Dean, I have hope your love will conquer this great tide of evil. You always feel like you have to keep fighting. You will carry on fighting. That is who you'll always be. You are a man who uses love as his great power.

Dean bows his head down nervously, pondering what to say. This was probably the only chance he had to speak his mind. To tell Cas how he truly felt.

Dean: Cas, there's a reason I'm here...what I wanted to say....what I needed to say....

Castiel: Dean....

Dean: I never got to say goodbye. You are the one thing I need to find forgiveness for and this is my only chance to say it...I love you Cas, I always have.

Castiel stares at him in shock, it wasn't something he expected to hear. He had often dreamed of this moment, he always wondered what Dean would have said if they had gotten one more minute together. There was no barrier keeping them apart any longer. Time wasn't stopping them. This was Dean's chance to say what he felt, to answer Cas's last prayer.

Dean: There's not one moment of the day where I can't stop thinking about you. I wish things were different. I wish I listened to you and held your hand all the way. I should have faced that darkness with you. You saved my life that day, and a part of me....a part of me wishes I went with you. After that, I never stopped loving you. I kept fighting for you. I may be making the afterlife into my own rodeo for Sammy, but you have always been there. I can't find peace unless you're in it. So I love you Cas. I always will. If I have to stay in this moment with you forever, I will do it. So if there's one thing I'm gonna set right here and now, it'll be with you Cas. I'm with you to the very end.

Castiel: I did this all for you, Dean. I couldn't help but feel distracted from my seraphic duties. But there's one person I look to - and that's you Dean. I have watched the noble things you have done. What you did to save your parents. It just shows how much of a good man you truly are. So when my work is done, I will spend every moment I have with you. I will stand by your side until my name is forever written on your heart.

Castiel felt a lump grow in his throat as his wildest dreams were coming to light. Dean loved him unconditionally and this was the only chance he had to tell him. He couldn't fight with his feelings anymore as Castiel and Dean kiss under the divine light. It was warm and tender, the world around them melting away as it was just them and their passionate love. Cas was left stunned as he didn't expect to experience affection quite like this, especially from a Winchester. This was everything Dean had wanted to do for so long, as each kiss healed his worn scars. He caressed the angel's face, trying to remember how his mellow skin felt in his hands. He couldn't believe the land he was walking on. He had found forgiveness and love in Castiel, something he thought was unattainable. Dean had never felt more happy in his life. He and Castiel were more than friends now. They were everything to each other.

They move away from the kiss, the breath taken out of each of them. Castiel rests his forehead against Dean's as he can't believe his luck. Tears shed down his face as his feelings were finally reciprocated.

Castiel: What happens now?

Dean bows his head down lowly, still leaning against Cas's forehead. He tries to find the words.

Dean: I've got work to do. The universe needs saving, and I can't do it alone. I need you Cas, I need a partner.

Castiel placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, looking him in the eye sincerely.

Castiel: Then I will stand with you until the very end.

Dean is grateful to have Cas on his side, to have the angel's love as his shield. He can't help but feel a pull towards Cas's eyes, lost in their winesome fidelity. He holds Cas in his arms, deep down knowing that he'll always have his back.

Dean: One last hunt

Castiel: One last hunt

Dean holds Cas tight in his arms as he is so relieved to have his lost lover at his side again. He found atonement being in the angel's company and now he needed him more than ever. He nestles his head against Cas's shoulder, burying himself into his embrace as he wished he could stay like this with him, to dance among the heavenly light. As the luminousity engulfed them, Dean knew that he would always carry this memory with him. Dean will always have Castiel by his side...

#supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #destiel fanfic #short ficlet #angst #love confessions #set post the winchesters #destiel reunion #dean misses cas #cas misses dean #reunited in the afterlife

9 notes · View notes

marvelwitchergilmore · 2 years

Text

Demon In Love

Summary; Dean Winchester x OC (Maeve Luna)

They have known each other for 14 years and have been in love just as long. Only, now that Dean is a demon, what will they do?

Angst, mentions of death (season 9), Demon Dean, fluff, Sam being a little dickish, violence, Metatron, hint of smut if you squint.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Maeve’s blood ran cold.

She had faught almost everything. Seen almost everything. Vampires, werewolves, djinn, dragons, gods, godesses, titans. You name it, she’s probably seen it. And killed it....most likely.

And she had never been scared. Not once.

Until now.

Metatron pushed the angel blade as far as he could through Dean’s body. And it was like she could feel it happening to herself.

Every pulse, every nerve...just everything; it all seemed to either slow down or heighten to the point where she thought she had just died.

She was the only one there. Sam was after Metatron and Cas was still looking for the tablet. She was the only one there.

“Dean!”

It felt like slow motion. She could see the change in his eyes. From him being able to fight, to him feeling the mark to him...being Dean. Her Dean.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no.” Maeve ran down the metal stairs, his eyes still on her. “Hey, Dean. Dean.”

Maeve was now by his side. He was beaten and bruised and bloodied. And dying.

“Leave - leave before he comes back. Go. It’s better this way. I’m better this way.”

Maeve shook her head. “No, no. Don’t say that. We’ll find something to stop the mark. Come on, we’ve got to get you to a hospital.”

“It’s better this way.”

Maeve shook her head, holding Dean’s up. “No. Don’t start that. Come on.”

Maeve helped him up. She kept one hand on the front of his chest where his wound was. They needed a hospital five minutes ago.

“Whoa-wait, wait a second. I-I’ve got to say something.”

“Dean-”

Dean leaned against a pile of bricks. “I’ve got to say something-” Dean swallowed, looking into Maeve’s eyes.

“I love you.”

Maeve’s blood nearly stopped pumping around her body.

“And I’m proud of us. Tell Sam that, for me. Tell him I’m proud of us. But it’s better this way.”

“N-No. Dean. You can tell him yourself. Please.”

“I love you.”

After that, Dean’s head dropped.

He was gone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hours later, Maeve sat in the library staring at her glass of whiskey. She should have drunk it by now. But she hadn’t.

It just didn’t seem right.

Nothing would seem right now. Not without him.

The moment his head dropped on her shoulder, she cried. The tears and everything she had been holding back, it all came out.

“I love you.” She had told him. She knew it was too late, but she hoped he heard her.

She had told Sam what Dean had told her. Not everything, but what Dean wanted Sam to know. And he hadn’t come out of his room since he lay his brother’s body on his bed.

“Mae.”

Maeve didn’t react at frist when Sam came rushing inside.

“Look at this.”

“Sam, I swear, if this is a hunt-”

Sam cut her off and showed her the piece of paper.

Sammy let me go.

“Wha-”

Maeve didn’t finish her sentence because within a few seconds she had shoved the note into Sam’s chest and ran straight down the hall, skidding to Dean’s room.

The only thing left was the dents his body had made on top of the bed sheets and pillow.

“I’m going to find him.”

“Sam-”

Sam turned around. “No. You’re not stopping me. I’ll call Cas rom the road. You stay here in case he comes back. He can’t have gone far.”

“Sam. I don’t think he’s coming back. He said to let him go.” Maeve told him. “And he didn’t even pass me to get out. I didn’t hear the door open or close. Sam, he’s gone.”

“How can you be so calm?”

She wasn’t calm. She was numb.

“Sam-”

“No. Tell me.” Sam pushed. “You’ve been in love with him since the beginning.”

“Wha-”

“Don’t give me that look. I’ve seen the way you look at him. So, tell me why. Tell me why I shouldn’t do this!?”

Maeve couldn’t think of an answer. Dean could be a ghost if he wanted. Sam wasn’t going to find him so easily. Especially if Dean doesn’t want him to find him.

“Sam-” Maeve’s voice broke. Her arms wrapped around her own body for some sort of comfort.

“I’m leaving.”

Half an hour later, Sam was gone. Cas was called but it would be a while before he could get to the bunker.

So Maeve was left alone.

She got it. Sam wanted his brother back. She wanted Dean back, too. But she was beat.

Clearly, it wasn’t but something felt perminant about this. That Dean wouldn’t be coming back this time. She saw the blade go through him. She saw the life drain from his eyes. She saw him go from Mark Dean to just Dean. Her Dean.

And yes, she had seen this a thousand times before. Worried and terrified that she was left alone. Even when he went to Hell, a small part of her still hoped. Still believed that he’d come back. Even if he was a Demon.

But this time...it felt real.

Why hadn’t she said it sooner? Why were their lives like this? Why, for once, couldn’t they just win and live normally? No string attached to the deal for their lives?

A few months would pass before Maeve heard from Sam again. Properly, anyway.

Usually he’d just send her a text once a month to let her know he was still alive. But it wasn’t until she got a call from him that she was fully let in to what he had been doing.

“He’s a demon.”

“What? Wait, who is this?”

“Mae. It’s me.”

“Sam?”

Only recently had she begun to go out on hunts again. Her and Cas kept in touch regularly but the only people who were there to see her were Jody Mills and Alex.

That was where she had just come from, too.

A Djinn hunt. Two of them.

She had gotten back to the bunker early hours of the morning and had fallen asleep the moment she got inside.

“Yes, it’s me. Look, Dean...he’s a demon. The mark, it must have..gotten ahold of him somehow.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.”

“What’s your problem?” Sam asked.

Both were frustrated.

Maeve sighed, sitting up in the dark. “Nothing. What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know yet.”

It took a while but eventually time passed and Maeve woke up to another phone call from Sam.

“I’ve got him, but Maeve...he’s not him.”

“How so?”

“He said Baby’s just a car.”

Even Maeve could feel the hurt hit her like a freight train.

“Look, I’ve called Cas. He’s on his way to the bunker now. I don’t know how long he’ll be. I have Dean in the cuffs but I don’t know how long they’ll hold him.”

“He can’t be exercised, can he?”

“No.” Sam admitted. “I’ll drop by the hospital.”

“I’ll call a priest.” Maeve told him.

An hour later, Sam had arrived inside the bunker with a knocked out Dean.

“So he’s a demon.”

It was more of a statement than a question. Somehow none of this felt real. Usually they would be hunting the same thing that Dean currently was.

“How do you know we’re not killing him?” Maeve asked as she sat on the metal table across from Dean.

“We’re just gonna have to hope.”

Sam woke Dean up with a couple of splashes of holy water.

Dean looked around, holding Maeve’s eye contact a little too long before spotting the blood in its carrier.

“Really?”

“For what it’s worth I got your blood type.” Sam replied.

“Sam, I know you think you’re try’na fix me, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t wanna be fixed?” Dean questioned. “Just let me go live my life. I won’t bother you.”

Dean now looked to Maeve. “What do you care?”

“What do we care?” Sam asked.

A moment of silence passed, Maeve and Dean still locked in eye contact. Clearly, he was trying to read her thoughts but she was just looking. Judging what had happened to him. Why they hadn’t spotted it earlier, that this was how it was going to end.

“You really think I’m gonna sit here like Crowley, getting all weepy while you shoot me up? Well, screw that. I don’t want this!”

Maeve finally spoke. “Yeah, well, right now you don’t get a say in that.”

“You don’t even know if this is gonna work.” Dean told her. “I’ve got a helluva lot more running through me than just run-of-the-mill demon juice.”

“Mark of Cain. Got it.” Sam replied. “Buckle up.”

“Sammy…you know I hate shots.”

“I hate demons.”

Sam splashed him with holy water when his eyes flicked black, jabbing the needle into his arm.

“Look, you’ve got a bunch more of these to go.” Maeve told him. “You could make this a whole lot easier on yourself.”

Suddenly, something began to happen. Whatever it was…it didn’t look good. Grunt and growls came from Dean as the purified blood went through him.

A while passed before Maeve went back into the dungeon and shot Dean with more human blood.

Sam had done the first few but it was getting harder for him to see his brother like this.

So, as much as it pained her too…she took over.

“For all you know, you could be killing me.”

“Sam says the lore has no exceptions to the cure-“

“The lore.” Dean’s voice poured like whiskey. “Hunters. Men of Letters. What a load of crap it all is.”

“Oh, you got nothin’?”

Maeve turned around and lent against the metal table, crossing her ankles in front of her.

“You want me to debate you? You and I both know that’s Sam’s field.”

“So what’s yours? Pining to the point of heartbreak?”

Maeve didn’t know what to say.

“This isn’t the real you who’s talking.” Maeve said although it sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

“Oh, it’s the real me alright.” Dean told her. “The New Real Me - the me that sees things for what they really are.”

“Hunters…fighting the natural order. Let me tell you something - guys like me, we are the natural order.”

“Why? Because you were one of the first created? This isn’t you, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Listen sweetheart, there ain’t much difference from what I turned into and what you and Sam are.”

“What exactly do you mean by that? Because I say there’s two very clear differences right off the bat?”

“I’d say you can die but, we’ve seen the history books.”

Maeve gave a hard stare.

“I know how you felt.”

Maeve didn’t answer.

“I’d heard people tell me about it before. Hell, even a few demons asked if we’d been a thing before the mark.” Dean explained. “Maybe even I thought we could have been a thing but…oh, you thought so as well.”

Dean could see the change in her body. The shifting, the hurt yet hopeful distant look in her eyes.

There has been so many ‘maybe almost’ moments over the years.

Like when they first met. She was 20, he was 22. They had met on a hunt. She was running through a barn when a vamp nest came out from the shadows. From hiding behind a tractor, her back had bumped against another.

She was ready to take his head clean off his shoulders.

“Whoa, hey - I’m not one of them, okay?”

She had pulled a small silver knife from her shoe, scratched Deans skin. No reaction other that.

“Ow! Hey!”

“That’ll do. Shall we?”

She replaced the knife and they finished the hunt. Afterwards, they had gone to a diner to get some food.

It had been a normal conversation but at the end of dinner, they had held eye contact.

“I better get going. It was nice to meet you…”

“Dean. Dean Winchester.”

He shook her hand. “An you?”

“Maeve. Maeve Luna.”

Their hands didn’t let go at first. “She who rules…the moon.”

Maeve nodded and dropped her hand. “Oddly, I’m an early bird.”

It would be a year before they would run into one another again. And the rest was history.

“That line that we both thought was so clear on the other side has never been that clear, has it?” Dean questioned her.

Maeve said nothing as he spoke. She just walked over, jamming the needling into the back of his neck.

“If this doesn’t work…we both know what Sammy’s gonna have to do to me, right? Or will it be you?”

Maeve didn’t even want to think about that.

“You got the stomach for that, Sweetheart?”

Two hours later, Maeve strolled back inside to find Sam kneeling in front of Dean, slapping him across the face to wake him up.

“Sure, if you call drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils okay.”

Sam looked to Maeve who had worry painted across her face.

“We’ve got to keep going. We can’t stop.”

“Sure you can. Just stop.” Dean told him. “There’s not point in trying to bring your brother back now.”

“Oh, I’m bring him back. We both are.”

“In fact, your - uh - guilt-ridden, weight of the world bro has been MIA for quite some time now. In fact, he’s been gone since he uttered those last three little words to…you.”

Dean pointed his finger towards Maeve.

“You notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible?” Dean began, looking to Sam. “Away from your whining, your complaining. I chose the King if Hell over you.” He looked to Maeve. “Over both of you.”

“Maybe I was just tired…of baby sitting you and of your pathetic pining.”

“Or maybe it was the fact that my mother would still be alive if it wasn’t for you.”

“He doesn’t mean that Sam.” Maeve assured him.

“That your very existence sucked the life out of my life.”

“This isn’t my brother talking.”

“You never had a brother! Just an excuse for not manning up. But guess what? I quit.”

This continued for a while longer all until Maeve walked back in and found the dungeon empty.

“Shit.”

“Mae! Maeve!”

Sam came around the corner, demon knife in his hand.

“Where-“

“Come on, Sammy!”

Both of them looked towards the kitchen entrance. Oh, crap.

“Spend a little quality time?”

“Try and keep him busy.” Sam told her. “I can put the place on lockdown.”

And so she did.

Maeve followed Dean’s footsteps - Hell, she’s known him long enough by now to know the difference between his and Sam’s footsteps.

She managed to bang a door closed door a few corridors. She could already hear him drawing closer, breaking down each door with his foot along the way.

“Sammy! Mae!”

Suddenly everything went dark and red.

“Smart Sam, locking the place down.” Dean called out. “Doors won’t open. I get it. But here’s the thing! I don’t wanna leave! Maybe I’ll kill you first and leave Sweetheart Maeve until later. See if I can make her fall in love with the New Me.”

Dean continued to search around, calling out to them.

“Oh, and you can blame yourself for me getting loose! All that blood that made me human, well…the more human I was the less the cuffs worked! And that devils trap? Just walked right over it.”

Eventually, Dean made his way into the basement room.

And Sam locked the door on him.

“That’s your big move?”

“I know your still in there somewhere Dean.”

Dean began to knock the door down with his hammer. “You act like I wanna be cured.”

Maeve came running around the corner. “I swear — he better not say ‘Here’s Johnny.’”

“Personally, I like the disease!”

Maeve now called out. “Dean! Stop!”

“I don’t wanna use this blade on you.” Sam called out to him.

“Oh, that sucks for you doesn’t it?”

“You come out of that room, I won’t have a choice!”

“Sure you will! And I know which one you’ll make. Isn’t that right, Sammy?”

“…Hell I’m blessed, ‘cause there’s enough demon left in me that killing you ain’t no choice at all.”

Dean continued to hammer the door until he could finally kick it in.

“Come on, let’s have a beer. Let’s talk about our feelings! I’m tired of this unspoken thing between us! Let’s finish this game!”

“Sam!” Maeve called out just as the hammer swung above his head and into the wall.

As much as Dean as a demon was terrifying…he was still hot.

Dean let go of the hammer. “Well…look at you. Do it. It’s all on you. Unless you wanna take a swing, darlin’” Dean said, his eyes flicking to Maeve with a small wink.

Thankfully, as Sam lowered the knife, Cas popped from behind him, his eyes glowing.

“It’s over, now. It’s over.”

…

“Even after all that blood, he still said he didn’t want to be cured.”

“I get it. Only humans can feel real joy and…love. But also such profound pain and suffering. This is easier.”

Maeve could feel her heart breaking. He carried so much on his shoulders and for so many years…if the mark was on the other arm…she’d probably be the same. Feel the same way.

Suddenly, Dean began to stir.

She could see it in his eyes…

Her Dean.

He’s back.

“You look worried.”

Sam threw holy water on him, yet again. Nothing. No reaction. Other than that if Dean being…tired.

“Welcome back, Dean.”

Hours passed before Maeve could face Dean again. The moment she untied him, them sharing a look - Dean more so than Maeve. His eyes looked...scared. And not oh-shit-i'm-gonna-be-killed-by-a-vamp scared. This was...shit-what-am-i-meant-to-say scared.

"I'll go and make coffee." Those had been the only words Maeve had said as Dean stood up. She could barely make eye contact with him.

It wasn't until two days later that Dean finally got Maeve to speak to him.

She had been in the garage, washing one of the cars. She was still in mechanic overalls. Patches of her skin were soaked beneath the cover, suds now soaking into her skin.

"Hey, Sam's thinking of making egg white omelatte for dinner, you want any?"

"Sure, whatever."

Maeve continued to clean as Dean watched her. She could feel his eyes burning the back of her head, yet she still didn't turn around.

"Alright."

Maeve thought he had left, but instead, he walked to the other end of the garage and turned off the tap, unltimately stopping the water running through the hose.

"Wh- What the hell?"

"We need to talk."

Maeve sighed, "About what?"

"I think you know what." Dean told her. He was never one for talking about his feelings, but hell, her ignoring and avoiding him was worse.

"What do you want me to say, Dean?"

"Something! Anything! You've been avoiding me for the past two days. Whenever we're in the same room together you can't even make eye contact with me! I get that I was a demon and you don't trust me because of the mark but-"

"You think that's why I can't look at you? Because you became the thing that we've hunted for the past...10 years?! Dean-"

"I know what I said, okay. I was there."

Maeve let out a heavy sigh. "Dean. I watched you die."

The words rung loud in his ears and, with her emotion, lay heavy on his heart.

"I watched Metatron drive an angel blade, through your heart." Maeve began to walk slowly towards him, tears glossing her eyes. "I get it was painful for you and, yeah, sure, you've died like, a thousand times over the years...but I watched you die. Even when you went to Hell...a part of me still thought you might come back. But that night?...." Maeve tried her hardest to stop the tears from falling and her voice from breaking. "That night I watched the man, who I have been in love with for 14 years, get stabbed in the heart by the biggest asshole I have ever come across and I had to carry your dying body across a wearhouse and hear his final words to me be 'I love you'. After all this time, I heard you say the words I have been wanting to hear for the longest time...but as much as that should have given me hope, it didn't. A part of me died that night, when you got stabbed. When you died. When Sam carried your body back into this god-damn bunker and lay you down on your bed. And I knew there was not a Single Thing that I could do to bring you back. I just had to sit here, your words echoing constantly in my head to the point where I thought 'Maybe I imagined it. Dean doesn't like me like that. He's never liked me like that'." Maeve forced a smile as she recounted her thought, but then it dropped again. "And then Sam came running back in and showed me your note. You had disappeared and said nothing. Left nothing but four words in your place. God, Sam was so persistant in leaving to find you. He yelled at me, asking why I was so calm. But I wasn't. I was numb. Completely numb. I thought you were dead and wasn't going to come back. That this time, you had finally been finished off. But, you weren't." Maeve forced a short smile again. "You were out there, as a demon having the time of your life with Crowley. So forgive me for not knowing what to say or do when I'm around you because every time I look at you I hear those three little words before your body became a dead weight against me."

Dean didn't know what to say. He just stood there, taking all of what she had said, in.

Maeve was the first to break eye contact, looking down to her hands. "If you can turn the tap back on...I need to wash these suds off."

Dean, after a few moments, moved and turned back on the tap, Maeve picking up the hose and began to spray the car clean, listening to Dean leave the garage and only when his footsteps became nothing more than silence, Maeve let out her shaking breath and let the tears flow.

More hours passed and Dean hadn't come out of his room. Maeve had finished cleaning the car and polishing it about an hour after dinner. She had grabbed what Sam left over before washing her plate and heading back to her room. She stopped for a moment outside Dean's door. Should she go in? What would she even say?

Dean could see her shadow under the door, but even as he slowly moved from his bed and towards his door, his thoughts were the same.

Was she going to come in? Should he open the door? What would they say?

But then her shadow disappeared. He opened the door but it was too late. She was already around the corner and headed towards her room.

However, as time began to pass - Maeve sat in her room watching reruns of Seinfield. Not that she was paying attention, her mind wandering elsewhere - Dean left his room and stood outside of her door.

It took him a while, but eventually, he knocked.

"Sam, I told you I'm fine and if this is about another egg white omel- Dean."

"I meant it when I said that I loved you." Dean began. "Every word. And it was unfair on you for me to have those be my last words to you, but I meant it. I could have said it sooner but I didn't. And I'm sorry that I didn't but I knew I needed to tell you because, if I didn't...I would have probably come back with unfinished business. I have loved you for 14 years but every time I came to tell you..something happened. I guess I just began to take it as a sign that maybe I shouldn't tell you. That, at some point, you'd realise who you were with and you'd leave and you'd never want to see us again. See me...again."

"Dean-"

"No, just...let me get this off my chest." Dean admitted. "Look, in all honesty, I don't know what I'm meant to say. But I'm tired. I'm tired of this...this...this thing between us. And if you don't wanna do anything about it, then I will walk away. But I don't. I don't wanna walk away. I'm in love with you, Maeve and...and I don't know what else to-"

Suddenly, Dean felt two hands come to his face, pulling him in closer. Maeve kissed him.

He was a little shocked at first but it didn't take long before his eyes shut and his arms snaked around her waist, pulling her in closer to him so their bodies were flushed together.

"-say."

Maeve shook her head. "Tell me that we're done. Tell me that this unspoken thing...it's spoken."

Dean nodded with a smile beginning to grow on his lips. "It's spoken."

"What do we do now?"

Dean smiled. "I'm sure we can think of something."

Maeve smiled as she saw the smirk on his face and the glint in his eyes. And so, leaning back in, they kissed again. Not breaking it for anything. Not even as Maeve lowered herself down from leaning up, pulling at Dean's shirt and pulling him inside, Dean shutting the door with his foot behind him.

34 notes · View notes

destieltropecollection · 2 years

Photo

Destiel Trope Collection | Day 1 | Canon Divergent

Dean Winchester’s Guide to Learning Spanish | RogueTranslator (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,050 Main Tags/Warnings: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, College | University Student Dean Winchester, Post-Canon, Rimming, Spanking, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Tutor Castiel Summary: It’s a few months after Jack ascended and Castiel came back from the Empty. The time since has been a golden hour for the Winchesters and their found family: Sam and Eileen’s relationship is going from strength to strength; Jack’s plans to improve Heaven are proceeding apace; and Castiel is able to split his time evenly between the two most important people in his life, working in Heaven by day and returning to Dean for the night. As for Dean, he’s trying civilian life on for size, and it’s going well so far—he’s the top student in both of his courses at the community college. His Spanish instructor is so impressed, in fact, that she wants to know if he has any study tips he could share with the class. If only she knew.

Heavenly Connection | @magickastiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,562 Main Tags/Warnings: Pining, fluff, angst, canon, post-canon Summary: Dean discovers Spotify and, more specifically, the playlists about him. And Cas.

Halo | @ellis-park

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,595 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary character death, angst with a happy ending Summary: “What in the Sam Hill was that thing?” Bobby spits, livid and confused. His eyes aren’t quite focused yet. A side effect of being knocked out with one simple touch, Dean guesses. “It, uh...” He pauses, glancing around the old, abandoned barn at the blown out lights and busted door. If he stares at the back wall, he can picture the vaguest impression of shadowy wings. “It said it was an angel.” Bobby’s eyes snap up to meet his. “Well,” he says eloquently, “fuck." Or, an ant falls in love with a comet.

the space between | @kingdumbass

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,503 Main Tags/Warnings: Purgatory, Dream Walking, Memory Alteration, Hell Trauma, Suicidal Thoughts Summary: He'd always wondered, before: what happened to a monster that died in its own afterlife? Where did it go? He supposed that must have been the “capricious” part. And yet, above all else, above the symphony of death flooding his senses and the sound of his erratically human heartbeat drumming in his ears, the voice that rang clear above the din, the spark that kept him going through the thick of it all wasn’t the voice of God or any other divine revelation. It was Dean Winchester’s. Sometimes just the sound floating through the aether, the certainty that Dean was still out there fighting, praying, was the only thing that kept Castiel fighting too.

insi(de an)d outside | @thisisapaige

Rating: Mature Word Count: 6,688 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel as God, Angst, Sexual Tension, Dark, Canon Divergence, Alternative Season 7 Summary: Castiel smiled. His Dean— His defiant, determined Dean— was ever the hero. Dean never gave in without a fight, without exhausting every plan and trying every angle. It was so human of him. Castiel could not help but love him for it. "Surely you know holy fire cannot hold a God?" Castiel asked. "You know me." The flames flickered across Dean's face, casting shadows over the hollows of his cheeks. "I had to try."

Map to Yesterday | Hiding_Amaranth (AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 23,007 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean/Cas, Amnesia, Mass Amnesia on TFW (including Rowena), Mystery, Magic, Road Trip, Angst and Romance, Humor, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Recovery of Identity, Angel Wings Summary: Team Free Will wakes up with no memory of where they are, or who they are. Left with nothing but some foggy shreds of their identities, they have to rediscover themselves and each other—and team up to piece together what even happened.

Desideratum and Other Mishaps | @thefandomsinhalor

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 28,072 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent, Baby Jack Kline, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Fluff and Angst, Fix-it, Protective Dean Winchester, S14E13 Lebanon Summary: In an unexpected turn of events, Castiel and the Winchesters find themselves with a toddler on their hands, when Jack, intending to regain his grace, makes a wish with the Baozhu—the wish-granting pearl—instead of Dean and gets transformed into a young child. Unsure how to fix the situation, and with Mary and Sam aiding the hunters from the other world on a hunt, Dean and Castiel are left alone at the bunker to care for baby Jack, where more than one revelation will unfold.

The Dream's the Thing (Wherein He’ll Catch the Subconscious of Our Dean) | @li-izumi

Rating: Mature Word Count: 30,073 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Season/Series 05 Canon Divergence, Dreams, Cupid Marks, God Ships It, Dean in Denial, Internalized Homophobia, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Temporarily Female Castiel (Supernatural), References to Croatoan/Endverse, POV Dean Winchester, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2017 Summary: Dean finds himself in a crowded ballroom with only the sense that he needs to choose someone. In between this and other strange visions, Dean remembers that the Apocalypse is over. Sam, Bobby, and Cas are alive but going their separate ways. Dean’s dying. But if his supernatural death flu is the price for the return of his family, why does Dean get better around Cas? [Canon compliant through season 5 before diverging with the end of Swan Song. Contains references/Easter eggs for scenes from season 6]

A Different Kind of Monster | @lastoryx

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 89,495 Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, Gay Dean Winchester, Homophobia, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Adult Language, Minor Character Death, Homophobic Language, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Internalized Homophobia, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Canon Divergent, Canon Adjacent Timeline, Closeted Dean Winchester, Fast burn?, Gay Panic, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Stanford Era (Supernatural) Summary: Something in Bodie, California is luring truckers to their deaths and Dean’s on his way to take it out. It’s the first time Bobby’s given him a case and, with Sam at Stanford and his dad off chasing demons, he's finally hunting monsters on his own. When an accidental encounter puts an as-of-yet-unknown monster in the passenger seat of his car, Dean decides to ice him, taking his dad's old adage to heart: a monster is always a monster. Unfortunately, Dean can’t seem to figure out what kind of monster "Castiel" is and he certainly can’t shake him.

Edging | @niche-pastiche & @wisteria-lodge

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 129,712 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Slow Burn, Castiel and Jimmy Novak share a body, Angel Vessel Consent Issues, Sleep Deprived Dean Winchester, Dissociation, Dean Winchester Has PTSD, Past Alastair/Dean Winchester, Past Sexual Assault, Dean Winchester's First Time With a Man Since Hell, Sexual Dysfunction, Kink Negotiation, discussions of daddy kink, discussions of consent, subspace, Angel & Vessel Interactions (Supernatural), Wing Kink, Dean Winchester Wears Panties, Rimming, Polyamory, Two Minds One Body, Post-Hell Dean Winchester, Angelic Possession (Supernatural), everyone is a switch Summary: Spooked by his vision of a drug-taking, orgy-having, post-apocalyptic Cas, Dean is doing everything he can to keep a semi-brainwashed angel (and a cute but clueless vessel) in one mostly-functional piece. It would just be so much easier if he could forget that crap with Alastair.

#destiel trope collection 2022 #destiel Trope Collection #day 1 #canon divergent

141 notes · View notes

wormstacheangel · 3 years

Text

When Dean finally rescued Cas from the empty, he expected a happy reunion. He envisioned a strong hug like the first time he had escaped. He expected a long-awaited kiss and repeated confessions that weren’t said with sorrow or heartache. He expected to find the same Cas that was taken, but that would have been too easy.

Cas was left awake, alone, and in complete darkness for months on end.

So when Dean went into the empty, ready to wake up the love of his life, he found Cas curled in on himself—staring blankly out into the void of nothingness. He whispered something so softly and quickly that Dean couldn’t pick up on the actual words, but it sounded familiar. Almost like he was humming a song.

Dean tried to get him to stand up on his own, but he quickly realized that Cas wasn’t even looking at him. His gaze was distant, seeing something Dean can’t even imagine. He then noticed the white film over his eyes dimmed the once bright blue.

His fingertips gently traced over the skin he had only dreamt of touching for months before he took a deep, shaky breath to steady himself. With that slight pause, Dean used whatever desperate strength he had and dragged Cas back to the portal.

Back home.

As they got closer, the light of the portal seemed to startle Cas, and he started to shove Dean away. Dean had to put Cas down so he could take his green jacket off and place it over Cas’s head to calm him before he slowly continued to walk through the portal and into the bunker’s library where Jack, Rowena, Eileen, and Sam were waiting for them.

When they walked through, Dean quickly shushed them as he fell to his knees with Cas still in his arms, hidden under the jacket, and covering his ears at the sudden loud voices surrounding them.

Dean looked around at his family, all sharing the same worried glances knowing they were on the same page. Cas’s welcome home party would be pushed back until further notice.

Cas didn’t cry. His expression didn’t change much at all. All Cas did was sit or lay on Dean’s bed with the lights off. All but the desk light. It was an old lightbulb, so the light wasn’t a bright white like the rest of the place. Instead, it illuminated a soft golden glow against the wall.

Cas squinted at it at first, blinking so inhumanly at it, until all Cas did was stare at it. Whenever Dean made any move to turn it off or even just get near the lamp, Cas made a little whine at the back of his throat.

Little noises were the most Dean can get out of Cas. At least it brought him a little relief. It meant Cas could see him at that moment.

Cas still did that rapid talking or singing whenever it was a little bit too quiet. It made Dean wonder if Cas knew he was out of the Empty. Especially during those times when he would stare right past him, unblinking with cold eyes.

It was only the end of the second week when Dean broke down.

[continue under the cut or on AO3]

He didn’t mean to. He was trying so damn hard to keep it together, especially in front of Cas, but one night he just lost it. He can blame the lack of booze in his system, or as he wants, he can blame Sam, who came up to him about a stupid case. It pissed him off more than it should have. The fact that Sam even believed for a second that he would leave the bunker while Cas was like-well the way he was, just gave him enough of an excuse to raise his voice at someone.

Eileen had to step in and tell him to cool off.

Dean stormed off without a glance back and went to his room. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside Cas. He laid on his stomach as he wrapped one arm over the top of Cas’s waist, scooting close enough so that he could rest his head on Cas’s shoulder. He then opened his mouth to wish him goodnight just like every night, but something in Dean just broke.

He felt the pressure rise up his throat as he tried to hide his face into the familiar body beside him, but the sob still came.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to go get you. Fuck, Cas, please.” Dean took a shaky breath, sniffling as he reached to hold Cas’s hand closer to him. “We missed- I...I missed you. I missed you so much, Cas.” Dean brought Cas’s hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles before letting the hand rest by his head. His eyes closed as he sighs, “I love you. So come back to me, okay?"

The only response Dean got was a squeeze of the hand, which was enough hope for the future, and more than Dean could have ever asked for at that moment.

As the days went on, Cas didn’t change. Literally and figuratively. He was still an angel, so there was no need for him to shower or brush his teeth, but Dean swore that Cas’s facial hair was growing, so he liked shaving him at least once a week. Cas seemed to like it by the humming noise he made.

They did learn a couple of things as the days went on.

One, peace and quiet are not what they strive for.

It only brought Cas anxiety, and his humming or singing became much louder and more desperate. They fixed that problem with a Bluetooth speaker constantly playing music in the background, a playlist Jack made mixed in with a playlist Jack helped Dean make. It made the humming stop, and Cas started to roll over in bed. He even sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed a few times.

A month after Cas got back, Dean's phone died in the middle of the night, and the silence must have gotten to him. He covered his ears while he started muttering to himself again. Dean woke up and pulled Cas to his chest while softly sing to him in his still half-asleep phase. He didn’t know why that was his first instinct, but he went along with it cause it started to calm Cas down. Then, Cas held him back for the first time—tucking his head right under Dean's jaw and relaxing.

Dean tried not to stiffen at the touch; if he were honest with himself, he would admit he was trying not to cry because he was busy singing. Busy, not wanting to disrupt this moment.

That night Dean sang all night long until Jack checked on them in the early hours and connected his phone.

Two, always have a light source on.

The lamp was the first one they had. Cas constantly wanted it on, but it bothered Dean all the time when he wanted to sleep. So they bought a cool starlight projector, Sam’s idea, that kept the light on the cement ceiling and not on Dean’s face. Cas seemed to enjoy it as he laid on his back, watching it all night, letting Dean curl up on his side as he slept through the night.

Three, never leave Cas alone.

Nobody wanted to leave Cas alone for more than a minute if they could help it. So they made plans to keep him company at all hours of the day. Of course, they weren’t crowding him. They all came in one by one, except for Dean, who would say, “This is my room. I get to come and go as I damn well please.”

Sam liked to sit by Cas's side and talk nerd like they usually would while cleaning his guns or doing research to help another hunter. He would even pause during the one-way conversation to give Cas some time to answer or try to imagine what Cas would say in that situation. Sam was always calm, wanting to keep it as normal as possible while Cas just stared at him, sometimes his eyebrows knitted together, and Dean had to excuse himself as he felt his chest tighten up.

Eileen sat by his side and watched shows she liked while she talked to Cas out loud and signed so he could hear her voice. Even then, she didn’t talk much. Instead, she let the laptop do the talking as she pets Cas’s hair while sitting on the chair by the bed.

Jack came in the most next to Dean. He liked reading to him or talking about how his skills as the new God have improved thanks to Amara.

"Dad, I hope you'll be proud of me." Jack once whispered to Cas, who was having a bad day, checking out more than usual as he stared off into the distance. Eyes wide and almost screaming.

It was almost the end of the second month when another big mile-stone happened.

Jack was lying in bed with Cas while Dean was at his desk, cleaning his guns obsessively again. Jack was reading him a book he bought during his recent trip to the bookstore with Eileen, it was a Star Wars story.

Jack was getting into the book as he read slower but louder during a big fight scene. He got so excited that he even jumped up and looked back at Cas, "Did you hear that, Dad? He won!"

Cas smiled back at him- a genuine smile- and Dean almost dropped the piece of metal in his hand while Jack froze, his shoulders tightening up while he scrunched up his lips as if trying to hold back his cry.

Instead, he quietly composed himself as he asked in a shaky voice, "You want me to read the rest?"

Cas only blinked at him, keeping the slight smile, and Jack took it as a yes. Jack sat beside him again with a big smile plastered on his face, wiping his eyes every other word, as he rested his head on Cas's shoulder to continue reading. Dean didn’t miss when Cas tilted his head down to rest his cheek on Jack’s hair.

He had to excuse himself again.

After that day, Cas slowly started to open up a little more.

Once Dean woke up with Cas out of bed. Dean was already in full panic mode, his shoes on the wrong feet and jacket inside out as he called out for Sam.

Then just as quick as the panic came, relief flooded him when he found Cas in the kitchen trying to make coffee. He turned towards Dean and gave him the smallest of smiles, but it filled Dean with such solace that he just dragged himself to Cas’s space. Dean held his arms open to press Cas into him, and without a second thought, Cas fell right into him as if it was an everyday normal occurrence.

That was the start of Cas now being up and around the bunker. It was like when a baby starts crawling, everyone keeping tabs on the baby’s first steps, except this baby was an eon old celestial being.

The library, Dean’s room, the Dean-cave, and the kitchen were Cas’s favorite places just to sit. He always had Dean’s headphones on, softly playing music, just in case it went quiet, and it took a while for him to be able to walk around without those.

It was the sixth month when Cas wished Dean a goodnight first and then added, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean fought the lump in his throat, but Cas instantly pulled him in, his arms wrapped securely around him. He had so much he wanted to say to Cas just to hear his voice again, anything to listen to his voice again, but instead, he kisses Cas’s chest before saying, “I love you, too.”

Days came and went. Sometimes it seemed like Cas was getting better as he talked a little more, but then those days would come when he would just stare off into the stars on their ceiling. Not moving an inch or bothering to fake breath like he liked. Those days the music was a little louder, and Cas held on to Dean a little tighter.

“I don’t want to go back. Please,” Cas pleaded as he stared wide-eyed at the darkness in the corner of their room. As if he was having a nightmare with his eyes wide open. “Please don’t make me…I-I don’t want to be in the dark again!”

Dean took Cas’s face in between his hands to hold his gaze. Only talking when he knew Cas was seeing him. “It’s okay, Cas. I got you. Nobody’s taking you away from me ever again.”

“Promise?” Dean felt Cas’s grip at his shoulder, holding him with desperation.

“Promise.”

That’s how Cas became human.

The nightmares have him waking up screaming some days, but at least Cas knew he was safe from the Empty’s clutches.

He was going to live his human life being loved and taken care of, and Dean was happy to say he felt Cas was doing the same for him.

#i am reposting this fic i wrote in October cause i didn't realize all my suptober fics are kinda gone #and i really liked this one so here you go #i edited just a little but not a lot so sorry about mistakes if beta's wanna beta with me that would be dope #destiel #wormstachewrites #my writing #fic #deancas #destiel fic #dean saves cas from the empty #selective mutism castiel #cas deal with the trauma of the empty #castiel is scared of the dark #dean #cas

1K notes · View notes

luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

Season 16 (Part 1)

Summary: After being captured by Michael while Dean was under his control, the reader has spent a very long time locked away waiting for someone to come and find her. When the day finally comes that the door opens, it’s not a familiar face she’s greeted with. Somehow the impossible is standing right in front of her but there’s no time to think about that. Something is terribly wrong and the reader needs the help of this strange young man if she wants to stop what Michael’s put in motion and have a chance at seeing Dean alive again...

Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x reader

Square: Free Space

Word Count: 3,600ish

Warnings: language, SPN season 15 and series spoilers, injury, mention of main character deaths, mention of torture, angst, fluff

A/N: This series takes place post season 15 and follows canon (i.e. if it happened in the show, it happened in this story’s universe). This series is told between the reader and Dean’s POV. This was also written for @supernatural-jackles Tell Me A Story bingo!

________

Reader’s POV

You just about had a heart attack when the door opened. It’d been such a long time since it’d been opened. Years and years and years. You’d lost track of the days quickly but it was long enough for you to accept that it’d been a very long time. Long enough to accept that when Michael took over Dean and threw you down in the windowless little room, Dean didn’t win that fight.

The only thing keeping you going aside from the spell Michael had put up to keep you permanently trapped, body stuck in time, was the desire to save Dean. Or what was left of him. You’d been alone for years, body having taken a beating by Michael when he first captured you. You were still covered in bruises, broken ribs that wouldn’t heal, pain in every breath. You didn’t sleep, didn’t eat. Solitude, cut off from the world, that was your main form of torture. Dean though...who knew what hell he was going through trapped with a psychopath like that for all these years.

You readied yourself, a dark figure walking inside the room. The room was pitch black to a certain point before you were trapped under a bright light you’d yet to figure out how to turn off. The figure stopped as their feet hit the brightness, a pair of brown boots and slim dark jeans all you could make out. They mumbled something and you felt the air shift slightly. You dared to reach at hand out to where the invisible wall keeping you trapped had been.

Your hand waved right on through it and you suddenly felt cool, clean air hit you. The person jolted when you sprang up, running away as you bolted for the door. You followed them up a flight of stairs and straight out into the foyer of a very nice house. You could see it was a man now and tackled him, straddling his hips and grabbing your knife from your waistband of your loose shorts, holding it to his throat. He breathed hard as you stared at him, cocking your head.

He was the spitting image of Dean. Mostly. His eyes weren’t green and there was something about his nose that reminded you of your own. The biggest tell of all though was the genuine fear in his face, the confusion.

“What’s your name,” you said. You held up the knife for a moment and tucked it away when you saw he was only focused on it. The young man, no more than twenty years old, took a deep breath. You yelped when he threw his legs up and wrapped them around your waist, yanking you off of him. He scrambled to his feet but you were on his tail, grabbing at his jacket. He spun around and popped you in the face, sending you to the floor.

You whined and cupped your cheek, the young man frozen in the doorway with a horrified look on his face.

“Who punches their own mom!” you shouted. He ran out the door and you went after, growling at your bare feet as he took off down the gravel driveway. “I’m gonna find you!”

You stomped your foot on the cool concrete front path, glancing to your right and spotting a sports car. You jogged back inside and found a pair of women’s sneakers, a little too big but you tied them tight and found some keys on a front table.

About two minutes later you were pulling up beside the guy on the road and hopped out of the car, the man running into the nearby treeline. You pulled out your knife and threw it, catching his jacket and pinning the sleeve to the tree trunk. He stumbled and fell down as you walked over, staring up with wide eyes. You sighed and ran a hand over your face.

“Can you at least tell me your first name?” you asked. He shook his head and you crossed your arms. “I bet your name is Lyle, isn’t it.”

“How’d you know that?” he asked, voice a bit higher than Dean’s but it made you smile, something warm and familiar to it.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think recently. Lyle is my top name for a boy if I ever had one,” you said. “So. Lyle Winchester.”

“That’s not my name,” he said. He stood up and pulled out the knife, carefully holding it out to you.

“You look just like Dean and me. You’re my son...somehow,” you said.

“Fine. My name is Lyle and that’s all I can say about myself,” he said. “I’m serious.”

You recognized the tone, that edge to it, the roughness but laced with an undercurrent of worry. Part of you wanted him to tell you everything about him but you knew he couldn’t, instead letting yourself give him a simple nod.

“I’ll make you a deal Lyle. I won’t ask questions about you that you can’t answer if you tell me how and why you got me out of there and answer anything else I want to know about this little situation.”

“Or else what?” he scoffed.

“Or else someday when you’re a teenager I won’t let you do anything. Lyle.” You took the knife from him and put it away, taking a deep breath. You stepped back out to the road, leaning against the car. You shut your eyes, something heavy draped over you. You peeled one eye open, Lyle leaning back against the car next to you in a blue flannel and dark gray t-shirt. His black hooded jacket was over your shoulders and you slipped your arms through the sleeves, wrapping them around yourself. You squeezed your eyes tight, shuddering before warm arms embraced you, Lyle almost as tall as Dean holding you close to him. “How did you know I was down there?”

“I can’t answer that,” he said.

“What year is it?” you asked.

“2089.” You froze, staring up at him. “Well, 2089 where we are right now is.”

“Lyle. It was 2018 when Michael took me. That’s not possible.”

“I can’t answer that either.” Tears welled up in your eyes and he hugged you again. “Sorry.”

“Dean was thirty nine the last time I saw him and it’s seventy one years later? He is dead. Sam is dead. They’re all dead so explain to me how the fucking hell I have a son with Dean!” you shouted. You pushed him away and ran your hands over your face. “Years. Fucking years I’ve sat down there waiting for him to come and get me. Him or Sam or someone. Fucking seventy one years!”

“Y/N,” he said, sounding a bit awkward but he cleared his throat. “I can’t answer everything because I don’t know everything. But I exist and that should tell you something.”

You wiped off your face with his sleeve and looked around, turning back and staring at him.

“I’m at the start of whatever this is and you’re way down the line,” you said. He nodded with a slight smile.

“I don’t understand it but this, where I’m from, this has already happened to you.”

“You’re from the future then,” you said.

“Not exactly,” he said.

“A different universe?” He looked at you like you were nuts and the air shifted, Lyle freezing. You turned and saw Jack, a smile on his face. “Jack?”

“Hi Y/N,” he said. He stepped over and gave you a big hug, a little bit of ache inside you easing finally. “Don’t worry about him. He’s just on pause.”

“Jack I don’t understand fucking anything. What’s going on?” you asked. He pursed his lips and sighed.

“Well you already figured out Lyle is your and Dean’s son. I didn’t think I could slip that one past you. But it had to be him that came and saved you.”

“Why?”

“Dean’s in heaven. Has been for 69 years.” You broke away from him feeling like you’d had a punch to gut and making you breathless. “I probably shouldn’t have told you that with the whole decades worth of trauma thing happening right now.”

“Did Michael…” you trailed off.

“No. A piece of rebar on a vamp hunt,” he said.

“He what?” you said.

“Yeah got pushed back on it. Sam was okay though. Oh and Dean had a dog for a few months.”

“Dean fucking died from that? That’s what kept him down?” you said. Jack nodded and you looked down, blinking your eyes. “Disregarding what is going on in my head right now about that, why didn’t you heal him? Or Castiel?”

“Well Cas was in heaven helping me rebuild after he sort of died and I brought him back. I kinda am the new God,” he said with a smile.

“I’m proud of that but again, why didn’t you come down here and heal Dean?”

“I’m sort of hands off in that regard,” he said. You were about to go off on him for that when it hit you.

“Jack how long have you known I was alive,” you said.

“2020 when I took over, I got these extra-”

“You knew I was alive and left me in a hole in the ground for over seventy years?” you said.

“Like I said, I’m hands off,” he said.

“I was your fucking mom! I took care of you! I protected you! I almost died for you more than once and when you find out I’m still alive you say fuck that bitch, she can deal with it on her own? What the fuck is wrong with you!” you shouted. You slapped him in the face, Jack pouting as you sank down to your knees. “I want Dean.”

“Y/N.”

“I want Dean and Sam.”

“Y/N-”

“I want Dean!”

“I can’t-”

“Fuck you! You’re as every bit as evil as that devil father of yours after all,” you said. You forced yourself to your feet, tears prickling in his eyes. “Oh did I hurt your feelings? Tough fucking shit! Do you realize that I have not only been stuck waiting for years but my body got stuck too. I’ve been sitting with broken ribs for seventy years. Every single breath excruciating.”

You yanked up your shirt, deep purple and black skin radiating across most of your abdomen. Jack reached out a hand and you moved back, dropping your shirt.

“I thought you were hands off. I don’t want your-” you said before warmth trickled through you, the pain gone, body feeling so strange at being without it.

“I don’t have to touch to heal you,” he said quietly. He swallowed and bowed his head. “I tried to let people live their lives without my interference and sometimes they’re messy but I’ve come to realize recently that’s wrong. A bit of help here and there is good. It gives people hope and maybe I should have done things different.”

“My family’s dead and I don’t want to wait around decades more to see them again in heaven. You’re going to-”

“No I won’t. Lyle’s life counts on you doing exactly what you’re supposed to as do your two other children’s. I can’t just put you in heaven. You can’t die right and you have to wait to see Dean until things work themselves out. Lyle’s going to be with you for a while and help get some things settled. It’s already set in motion so go with it,” he said.

“Jack I want Dean. Please,” you said. “Please Jack. Just five minutes.”

“Would you rather have your family back in the near future, alive, or would you rather have your and Dean’s souls torn apart and you never see him again, dead or alive? Rather he over there doesn’t exist? Rather no one exists?”

“I didn’t say that. Of course I would rather have them back alive-“

“Then be patient.”

“Jack. You gotta give me something. Something please.”

“I’ll talk to Lyle, tell him he can loosen up some. But I can’t tell you what to do. You have to follow your gut. Listen to Lyle and it’ll work out,” said Jack. You squeezed your eyes shut, Jack carefully resting a hand on your shoulder. “Do you hate me?”

“I hate that our family was ripped apart. I hate that you didn’t tell the boys I was alive once you knew. I hate that the last time I saw Dean alive we argued. I think what I hate most of all is that you treated us like everyone else. We’re not, Jack. We’re your family. All of us deserved a chance at normal and we didn’t get it.”

“Sam did.”

“How many years did Sam live without us? Without his brother?” you asked. Jack glanced down and you nodded. “You said you became God? Why didn’t you get rid of the monsters altogether Jack. Don’t tell me you don’t have that power.”

“I thought...I thought it was the natural order.”

“Yet you know there are other universes with no monsters at all. You could have taken the monsters away. Shit turn them human for all I care. The boys didn’t have to keep hunting after you took over. You could have been hands off and changed that one fact and saved so many lives, improved so many lives.”

“No. I couldn’t have changed it. Not back then.”

“Why the hell not?” you asked. He pulled his hand away and you found yourself in some clean clothes, Lyle’s jacket folded on top of the car.

“Because when I became God, I learned a lot. It sucks knowing that certain things have to happen and that I had to ignore when Sam prayed to me in that barn because things had to happen this way.”

“But why?”

“Because if I didn’t, if I’d intervened then and there, this universe, all of the ones I’ve been busy rebuilding, the way I’ve been rebuilding heaven...it’d be gone. Destroyed and I wouldn’t be able to put it back. It’s a temporary pain even if it doesn’t seem like it. So please, Y/N, please, listen to Lyle. Work with him. It’ll work out and things can be okay. You can have everything you ever wanted and more. You can have the freaking apple pie life and the no monsters and all of it but please understand you have more shit to go through first and whatever happens, do not let Lyle die.”

“He’s my son. I wouldn’t let that happen to him,” you said. Jack nodded and you grabbed his arm when he turned to leave. “You’ve grown up Jackie.”

“I’m still a baby by God standards,” he said.

“The guys take care of you after I was gone?” you asked.

“Yeah. I missed you though,” he said. “I accidentally killed Mary and sort of lost my soul for a bit. Things got bad for a while.”

“Do you see Kelly in heaven sometimes? Mary?” you asked. He nodded and you smiled. “Kids can fuck up and your parents will forgive you.”

“I’m sorry it has to be this way, Y/N. If I could snap my fingers to fix it all, stop it from ever happening, I would.”

“I’m going to trust that it had to be this way,” you said. “But give me a ballpark figure here. When do I get the guys back?”

“That’s relative. You’re going to end up breaking the space time continuum so it’s hard to answer that correctly.” You stared at him and he shrugged. “Not too long. A few days at most. I promise.”

“Wait is that how we have a twenty year old son?” you asked.

“Yes. The next time you see Dean he’ll be younger than the last you saw him. Just trust your gut and Lyle. Next time I see you I hope things are much better,” he said. You opened your mouth but he disappeared. You shook your head and turned around, Lyle now wearing his jacket, standing closer to the passenger seat door. For a long while you both simply stared, Lyle looking as if he’d just had his own long conversation with Jack.

“You can call me Y/N if that makes it easier,” you said. He nodded and you took a deep breath, going to the driver’s side. “So. What’s the next move?”

“Jack just said after I got you out we had to go to Lebanon. He didn’t tell me anything more than that,” he said.

“Any idea where we are?” you asked.

“San Antonio,” he said. “So we go North?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Mind taking the first shift driving? I sort of haven’t slept in like seventy years.”

“No that’s fine,” he said. He walked around the front and you made your way to the passenger side, climbing in and sighing. He got behind the wheel and took a deep breath. “You and dad run a construction business.”

“That’s nice,” you said, smiling to yourself. “Dean’d be real good at that kind of thing. He’s really smart.”

“I know. Most guys can’t call up their dad for help on their architecture homework,” he said.

“You go to college?” you asked, Lyle nodding. “Do you know about...this stuff?”

“I’m still not convinced I’m not insane. I just got home on a friday night. We had dinner and everyone went outside to have a bonfire in the backyard. I went in to use the bathroom and Uncle Jack stopped me before I could get back outside. He said a lot of crazy stuff I didn’t believe but the fact you were in that basement...you and dad are only like forty but you’re obviously too old right now to have had me when that would have made sense and Uncle Jack said space and time is gonna break and-”

“Lyle,” you said, holding up a hand. “Relax. I just want to know, do you know what hunting is?”

“Dad doesn’t go hunting,” he said, narrowing his eyes. You smiled and nodded to yourself. “We don’t even own a gun.”

“I doubt that. But that must mean that something happens to the monsters along the way too.”

“What do you mean monsters? And why were you kidnapped in a basement? And what the fuck is going on? You’re supposed to be my mom that runs the family business and you kick ass in your soccer league in the summer and you can’t cook to save your life and that’s okay cause you’re really good at baking and pies and shit and I just don’t understand who you really are.” His face was flush, eyes fighting back tears. You smiled, reaching over and cupping his cheek.

“You’re a good guy Lyle. We obviously did something right,” you said, wiping away a stray tear that fell. “It’s scary. It’s really scary. I’m not your mom yet but I will be someday. I promise I will tell you everything you don’t know when I catch up to your time. Dean and I will. But we need to go to Lebanon and the faster we can go there and figure out what we have to do, the faster we can get you back home where you belong.”

“But can’t you-”

“This world isn’t safe, Lyle. It is very unsafe for a Winchester especially. Please drive now,” you said. You put on your seatbelt and he closed his eyes. “Please.”

“I was supposed to be having a smore right now,” he said.

“I know. But saving the world is kinda cool,” you said.

“I don’t want to save the world. I want to go home and not see my mom be beat to shit. I want my dad to go back to teasing me at dinner and not being dead,” he said.

“If we do this right, you can go back to that really soon. It hasn’t happened for me yet. We can talk all about this when you come back. The night you come back we can talk through it all. But we have to get going. The sooner we go, the sooner it goes back to normal.”

“It’ll never be normal again.”

“Yes it will. I promise.”

“How do you-“

“Because I just had this really bad thing happen to me but someday I’m going to have you and everything I ever wanted with Dean. So it sucks right now but it’ll be better eventually. I know it will. You’re here so I know it’ll be normal.” He nodded and wiped off his face, starting the car up again.

“Y/N. Are you okay after...you know...being down there beat up all that time?”

“Not really,” you said. He took off his jacket and handed it to you. You stared before he rolled his eyes, laying it over your front.

“Sleep. I can drive.”

“Lyle.”

“Y/N. Rest. It’s safe. I got this.”

“You take after your dad.”

“Take after someone else too,” he said. You smiled and nodded, resting your head on your shoulder, closing your eyes. “I’ll wake you up for breakfast.”

“Egg and-”

“Cheese on a biscuit, two breakfast burritos, extra hot sauce and a small hot latte.”

“At least my road trip order didn’t change,” you said, quickly relaxing and falling asleep for the first time in ages.

_______

A/N: Read part 2 here!

#tell me a story bingo #supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean #winchester #dean spn

193 notes · View notes

charlie-minion · 4 years

Text

Could the same SPN finale make a little more sense with some additions/changes?

I’ve had the idea for this post stuck in my head for days now, but with every new conspiracy theory and every new eventuality in the fandom, it became difficult to cool down enough to write something less ship-related and more narrative-focused.

What Supernatural and non-SPN fans have to understand is that a lot of us have expressed disappointment and frustration after 15x20, not because of Destiel (that’s just one part of the whole problem), but because the finale doesn’t make sense. Everything was leading up to something beautifully crafted until the end of 15x19. Beyond that, it’s hard to understand what happened. The story rendered all the character growth irrelevant, invalidated the themes of free will and “family don’t end in blood”, regressed to the original brother codependency they spent 15 years trying to overcome, made a queer non-binary character in a male vessel and a deaf female character basically disposable, and kept the show’s reputation of queerbaiting and misogyny until its very last breath.

That’s not going out with a bang! At least not a positive one. We all were ready to mourn Supernatural, but we wanted to feel proud of its legacy, and somehow TPTB managed to tarnish that legacy in less than 45 minutes. What a way to ruin the other more than 13,600 minutes of story!

It doesn’t matter who is to blame (The CW, Robert Singer, Andrew Dabb). It doesn’t matter why it happened (homophobia, censorship, marketing for Walker, bad writing). What matters is that at the end of the day, the finale that aired is what we got and that’s going to hurt for a long time. It hurts even more when we realize that the same finale could have easily made more sense, even without being perfect.

That’s what I want to do in this post. I want to show you how things would have been less jarring (for the fandom), while still keeping the goal to please the general audience.

Before I begin rewriting 15x20, I have to mention that I talked to my conservative boomer sister about the finale. She hasn’t watched the second half of season 15 yet (she’s waiting for Netflix to have it), but she’s been watching the show for a long time (she introduced me to it 8 years ago). She’s the perfect example of a viewer from the general audience. Loves the show but doesn’t give a second thought to it and definitely isn’t paying attention to character development or themes. Doesn’t engage with fandom, actors, or any of the show’s social media. Pure GA! When I told her the series finale had aired, she asked me about it and I refused to give her spoilers. Because of that, she told me the ending SHE wanted. She said she would be happy with either of two possibilities: the boys retiring and finally living a normal life OR they going to heaven and finding peace at last. She saw Sam and Dean as a unit, which means: both retiring or both going to heaven. AND she saw Cas as part of that, too. She wasn’t so sure about Jack. And for her, we could use the “Eileen who?” and it wouldn’t be a joke. She didn’t remember her.

NOW IT’S TIME TO WRITE A NEW VERSION OF 15X20 (KEEPING 15X18 AND 15X19 EXACTLY THE SAME AS THEY AIRED). This will be a very long post:

The opening remains almost the same. No “Carry on my wayward son” to induce feels. Too soon and too predictable! (Reasoning: Everyone was expecting it to play right there, so it would bring more tears at the end)

In the opening, after the scene where Jack says “People won’t need to pray to me or sacrifice to me”, we also see the scene from 15x19 where he says “I won’t be hands on”. Then we see the rest of the opening as it was. (Reasoning: People needed to be reminded that Jack would NOT intervene and that’s why later on, he would NOT save Dean).

We get the same montage, but when Sam takes a break from his morning run, we see him reading a message on his phone. A simple: “Hey Sam, what’s new?” from Eileen. Sam smiles fondly and begins to type a response we don’t get to see. The next scene continues the same, Sam making breakfast. (Reasoning: A text was a very simple way to show that Eileen was alive and still in communication with Sam).

The montage slowly ends as Sam enters the library (not after he sits down). He seems to be talking on the phone but we only hear an “I’ll tell him. Bye”. As he walks towards the table, he tells Dean: “Charlie says hi. Mentioned something about Stevie’s perfect scrambled eggs we have to try.” Dean’s answer is “Awesome!” (Reasoning: Just ONE line was needed to unbury Charlie and her girlfriend. ONE LINE).

Sam sits down, opens his laptop and everything continues the same. The title card shows for the last time.

YOU SEE? In the first 4 minutes they could have acknowledged that THREE WOMEN were alive and safe: Eileen, Charlie and Stevie. It wasn’t hard! Don’t blame bad writing on Covid! Now let’s continue.

Sam and Dean arrive at the Pie Fest just the same. Dean goes to get some “damn pie” and Sam takes out his phone. He dials and when someone picks up, he says “Hey, Jody, how are ya?” We don’t hear the rest of the conversation. The scene moves to Dean coming with his 6 portions of pie. Dean sits down and Sam tells him, “Talked to Jody. The other hunters haven’t had much work lately.” “That’s good, isn’t it?”, Dean says. All we get from Sam is “Yeah.” So, Dean looks at him and asks “what’s wrong?” like it happened in the episode. (Reasoning: Again, a couple of lines to make sure the people that were killed in 15x18 are safe and remembered by the boys in 15x20. Why is this important? Because they’re family!)

The conversation about Sam’s sad face happens the same. Sam is the one that mentions Cas and Jack. (Reasoning: Because this episode was so Sam-centered, it’s obvious he was the protagonist in the finale. If we see him communicating with Eileen, Charlie, and Jody, then it’s NORMAL, even expected of him to be the one to bring up Cas and Jack). Without these additions, it’s harder for people to understand that most of the finale was NOT from Dean’s POV but from Sam’s.

Dean’s “if we don’t keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing” stays the same. (Reasoning: I believe it’s necessary that the show sticks to the importance of “letting go” and “what is dead should stay dead” for the first time ever because the message is “even when you lose someone you love, you can still find some form of happiness and keep living, for you and for them, because that’s what they would have wanted”. Bringing someone back means “I can’t live without you”, and that’s just more codependency. It’s how the demon deals began in the Winchester family –Mary being the first one to do it. This would explain why Dean didn’t ask Jack to bring Cas back, as he asked Chuck. He understood Jack was NOT going to interfere anymore and accepted it. Besides, when Cas saved Dean from hell, Dean thought he didn’t deserve to be saved. This time that Cas saved him, Dean finally feels worthy enough to accept that YES, HE DESERVED TO BE SAVED ALL ALONG, just as much as he deserved to be loved by that angel of the Lord. In this scene, Dean also says that the pain is not gonna go away, which means that from HIS PERPECTIVE, it still hurts that Cas is not there. The problem is that the finale is not showing his POV but Sam’s.

Sam pies Dean on the face just the same. (Reasoning: That part was just to avoid ending the scene on a sad note).

Everything related to the case happens exactly the same. (Reasoning: At this point, people don’t really care about the MoTW, they care about Sam and Dean).

NOTE 1: The case is important to show that even when the Winchesters are finally free of Chuck’s influence, they CHOOSE to keep hunting. It isn’t something they do out of revenge or because it is their destiny anymore. Maybe they were forced into the life at first, but they’ve learned to find joy in saving people. Being hunters is who they are. However, the fact that a job application was shown on Dean’s desk is also important because it means he was willing to explore what else was there for him besides hunting. Maybe he could find a balance? Maybe he was thinking it was time to quit? We will never know! The thing is that Sam only finds out about it when he goes into Dean’s room after his brother is dead, so maybe that’s when it hits him that Dean wanted to explore his options, and Sam starts to think it’s time for him to do the same.

NOTE 2: I believe the masks the vampires are wearing is something we can blame on covid. If they had their faces covered, it was easier to use people from the SPN crew for some scenes, instead of using more actors unnecessarily.

NOTE 3: When Sam and Dean arrive at the barn, we get 3 visuals to remember Cas in the same scene (those are for the fandom, not for the general audience): a) the barn, obviously; b) the bag that resembles Cas’ trenchcoat so much that many people thought that’s what it was; and c) two feathers hanging on Dean’s right when he opens the trunk.

The scene with the throwing star happens the same. (Reasoning: The episode is still told from Sam’s point of view, so it makes sense that he fondly sees his brother as a man child).

Jenny the vampire? Uhhh… I mean, it’s not the best piece of writing I’ve ever seen, but it’s not the worst, so okay. That stays the same. (Reasoning: There is none, but she’s not what really ruined the finale, so whatever!)

Dean still dies impaled on a rebar. (Reasoning: OK. HERE ME OUT!!! I hate as much as everyone else that Dean is killed. I think it’s lazy writing, but that’s what we got and I can’t change that in this re-write, so if killing Dean is what we have to work around, then, memes aside, death by rebar is better and here’s why. There’s no one to blame for Dean’s death: no Chuck (the boys were willingly hunting even after Chuck was defeated), no vampires (they were all killed and were no real threat, so it was impossible for Sam to begin a quest for revenge against all vampires. What was Sam going to blame? A rebar? Can you kill it? Hunt it? NO. It was an ordinary death, a stupid accident. Just like any person can die at any moment by slipping on a banana peel. Is it a good death? No, but it’s good to know he doesn’t die trying to save Sam or Cas, because Dean Winchester is NOT willing to give up his life in exchange for anyone else’s anymore.

Sam takes out his phone and says he’ll call for help, but his phone is more visible to the audience. He dials and it’s almost to his ear when Dean stops him and Sam hesitantly hangs up. (Reasoning: People have complained that Sam didn’t call an ambulance, but actually he tried to. It’s just that people missed that part, maybe?)

After Sam puts his phone back in his pocket and says “OK” to Dean, he adds, “I’ll pray to Jack”. Dean’s immediate answer is: “No hands on, remember?” “But Dean”, Sam says, and Dean interrupts him with “OK listen to me” and tells Sam what to do with the kids they rescued. (Reasoning: Jack is God now and how come Sam didn’t remember? The viewers remembered, so it was necessary to include a line that ruled the option out and that showed Dean didn’t want Jack to intervene. The rest was fine).

The lines “You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right?” disappear completely from Dean’s monologue. (Reasoning: This is the most problematic part of Dean’s dying speech. He fought God and earned free will, he is no longer controlled by fate or destiny. Accepting that he is supposed to die on a hunt regresses his character development and denies his desire to keep living. This was a total mistake and should be removed).

Instead, if going to heaven is the ending TPTB wanted to give Dean, at least he should say something more empowering. Sam tells him that both of them are going to take the kids somewhere safe. Dean answers and the scene follows like this: “No. Sammy, we made our choice, didn’t we?”, he smiles with difficulty. “We were free to write our own story and we did. We decided to keep saving people, hunting things. Because it’s what we love despite the risks.” (Reasoning: If Dean’s going to die it doesn’t have to feel like it was always meant to be that way. He should die knowing that he exerted his free will until his last breath).

The rest of the dialogue between Sam and Dean happens almost the same. Except that instead of Dean saying “‘cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It’s always been you and me”, he says “’cause when it all came down to it, we’ve always had each other’s backs. Always.” And instead of Sam saying “Don’t leave me”, he says “I still can try to save you.” (Reasoning: It sounds way less codependent without diminishing the importance of their love and support for each other).

Besides, let’s change Dean’s “I’m not leaving you” for “You don’t have to be alone. You’ve still got family.” The rest stays the same word by word. (Reasoning: Dean reminds Sam that “family don’t end in blood” and there are still lots of people out there who love Sam and will be with him).

“I love you so much, my baby brother” stays exactly the same. (Reasoning: Dean always had trouble to express the big L word. I always believed and said many times that before Dean could say “I love you” to Cas or any other character, he had to say it to Sam. So, this is important as part of Dean speaking his truth).

The last part when Dean insists Sam tell him that it’s okay stays the same. (Reasoning: It’s the final moment when the codependency cycle breaks. No more running in circles).

The forehead touch between them stays the same. (Reasoning: I think I would do something similar if my sister were dying. I know there are w*ncest shippers out there, but it shouldn’t matter because the moment feels appropriate for that kind of goodbye).

See? There are changes but not too many. That’s why I’ve been saying that it was easier to get it right, yet they still managed to screw it up.

The second montage stays the same. (Reasoning: Life goes on, but of course Sam has to mourn).

The call about a case in Austin remains the same. (Reasoning: It’s the only part of the episode where someone from the found family is mentioned, so I think that Donna’s name is perfect in that moment. However, without the other additions I’ve made in this re-write, that off-hand mention feels too little. Its purpose was to tell the viewers that if Donna was alive, so were the others, but the way the episode was executed gave us an isolated Sam, incapable of having friends and a family without Dean).

After 30 minutes of Sam’s POV, let’s finally see the last bit of Dean’s POV that we’ll ever get.

Dean arrives in Heaven and Bobby receives him. All their conversation stays almost the same, except that after mentioning Rufus and before saying “and your mom and dad…”, Bobby adds an “Ellen and Jo let me borrow their place”. (Reasoning: If you’re gonna put the man outside the Harvelle’s place, at least mention them for Jack’s sake!).

Besides, after Bobby tells Dean that Sam will be along and that time in heaven is different, Dean gives a small smile and says, “Well, there’s no rush. I want him to have a long, happy life.” Bobby answers with: “I would expect nothing less from you, boy” and tells him he got everything he could ever want, etc., just like it happened in the episode, and finishes by asking “What are you gonna do now, Dean?” (Reasoning: It’s important we know for sure that Dean is NOT codependent anymore and that he doesn’t expect to have a miserable afterlife just because his brother is not there yet).

Instead of saying “I think I’ll go for a drive” Dean says, “I think I know what I want” and walks towards baby. Bobby still tells him to have fun. (Reasoning: “Know what I want” is ambiguous enough to help us introduce the last piece of the puzzle, the one thing Dean’s wanted for many seasons and has never been able to express).

The biggest change is coming:

Dean gets on the Impala and has a moment of silence while he contemplates the wheel. He begins to pray: “Hey, Cas, you got your ears on? I hear you’ve been busy working on this updated Heaven with Jack. You were right about him, Cas. You had faith in him and he saved us all. You could always see the best in everyone, even when they couldn’t see it themselves. Even when I couldn’t see it myself. There’s so much I want to tell you. Maybe you can visit sometime. I hope prayer’s still a thing up here.” (Reasoning: Dean’s side of the confession was unaddressed and that was terrible writing. If there was no way to get him to speak his truth textually, at least take him as close to it as possible).

We listen to a flutter of wings and a “Hello, Dean” from the back seat. We don’t see Cas, but the camera shows us Dean’s cocky smile and he says “Took you long enough.” He turns around slowly. End of scene. (Reasoning: The flutter of wings confirms that angels have their wings back and ties that loose end. The final “hello, Dean” was highly anticipated and it made sense. If Misha couldn’t be there to film, for whatever reason, or if the problem was the kind of conversation Dean and Cas would have, then don’t show it, but leave the door open. Let us know that the two characters were reunited and will talk, but whatever Dean has to say is so private that it’s not for us to hear, only for Cas.

We finally hear “Carry on my wayward son” and get a montage that begins with Sam playing with his kid. Then we see Dean driving, super happy, and Sam living his life to the fullest. We still get Sam’s Blurry Wife, BUT… we see pictures of Eileen in the living room (not just of John, Mary, Sam, and Dean). We also see photos of Jody, Donna, Charlie, and AU!Bobby. (Reasoning: FAMILY DON’T END IN BLOOD).

The scene where Sam is wearing the party wig and looks miserable inside the Impala is cut and nobody talks about it ever again because it never existed. We get a scene of Sam teaching his son how to fix the car instead. (Reasoning: First of all, don’t give Sam a life where years later he’s still in pain. Second of all, the fucking wig was a crime).

Sam’s dying scene stays the same. The only thing is that his son signs a couple of phrases to him before actually speaking. (Reasoning: More confirmation that Dean Jr. is Eileen’s son).

We hear the final “Evanescence-like Carry on my wayward son”. Again we see the photos and there’s family other than the Winchesters there. (Reasoning: Obvious at this point).

The rest is exactly the same. The show began with two brothers and it’s okay if the last scene is with the two brothers reunited in Heaven. At this point, the other parts of the story are acceptable enough for us to feel happy that they get to see each other again after years of a happy (after)life.

Now look me in the eye and tell me this was too hard to execute. I still think that bad writing is a thing we can’t deny here, adding to the possible meddling of the Network. Maybe Dabb wanted us to hate the finale because he couldn’t get away with what he truly wanted. If that was his intention, then kudos to him. He and The CW really gave us a finale that only 30% of the fandom liked.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this and it helps to give you some peace of mind. In my heart, this was the finale we got. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t drop the ball either.

#supernatural #15x20 #spn 15x20 #spn finale #rewrite #dean winchester #dean deserved better #cas deserved better #destiel #the characters deserved better #we deserved better #it was easier to get it right #yet they screwed up big time #alternate ending

786 notes · View notes

acklesterritory · 3 years

Text

That Kind of Love Never Dies_Chapter 1

Hey guys, Now that more voted to split my fictions in 2 parts, I'm back with the first part. I hope you like it. Don't forget to leave me feedbacks. I'll always appreciate them. Love you all.

This is for writing event @tvdspngirl314

My quote is "That kind of love never dies"

Dean x Reader series (just 2 parts)

This chapter words: ~5k

Series warning:

Angst, fluf, smut, angry Dean, hurt Reader, hurt Dean, there's some more but I hate spoilers so I insist on "Angst & Hurt"

It all started with a stupid argument at home. What was it? Three months ago? Sam couldn't remember the exact date but after years, it was the first time this awkward coldness between Dean and Y/n had started to build. He could remember the first time he and his brother came across Y/n like it was yesterday, they were hunting a very nasty creature who used to kidnap young and lonely women at night, then got them wrapped in ropes and ties on a bed in a warehouse to rape, torture and feed on their blood until the victim either died or accepted to turn into one of his kind.

Sam could remember the helplessness in people's eyes too. The pain of the victims' families, the frustration and anger on cops' faces when no one could find the criminal yet, even after the sixth missing girl.

"Sammy, he just kidnapped another girl. And I think I know where he's gonna take her. Let's hunt this son of a bitch."

When Dean was saying that, Sam never expected him to fall in love with the woman they would save that night. Well, unfortunately they weren't fast enough to prevent any harm to the girl. When they arrived and Dean killed the nasty creature, Y/n was almost dead. The monster had already raped her, tortured her … and when he felt the hunters enter the place, he drank almost all of her blood, to gain more energy to fight. So as always, Dean was up to blaming himself. Of course only in his own eyes, not anyone else's.

"Call Cas to come home. Tell him it's an emergency."

Dean told his brother when he finally could get Y/n out of those ropes. And Sam knew he was right. At that point, no one could save Y/n unless God or his angels. Maybe she was not so lucky coming across a nasty supernatural creature like that but she was lucky enough that Cas arrived just on time and healed her. However, angels can only heal physical wounds. But Y/n was hurt much more than that. She couldn't just move on from the things that the bastard had put her through. Even after Cas tricked her brain to forget some certain things, she still had bad nightmares and had this dark shade of hopelessness in her eyes. Soon, she started to eat and talk less and less. And Dean just couldn't let her go. He really wanted to fix all of that for her but she kept shutting him out… until the depression hit her. It was so bad that Cas felt the need to tell them to prepare themselves for her death. Because after all those days and unlike everything else in their lives, The Winchesters were already used to her presence around them; like the way a lonely person can get used to a wounded cat more and faster than anyone else.

"I'm not gonna hunt until I'm sure she can live her normal life." When Dean stated that, Sam really thought he was joking. But after a few days he started to believe it. Dean truly would do anything to keep her alive. From cooking vegetables to laughing at his own dad jokes in front of Y/n to make her smile. That was when Sam started to feel that they can be more than a random hunter/rescued victim relationship! It felt like his brother had finally found his motivation in life: "Saving Y/n."

Gradually Y/n started to respond to this special attention from Dean with trust and smiles. Soon they became a power couple that could motivate each other so easily that sometimes Charlie would call them out. And honestly Sam had no problem with it. In fact Y/n had become his other sister.

"My God, Dean! You're burning up!" It was two day after a werewolf hunt in which Dean had got hurt. At first it was just some scratches on his arms and chest. Yet as the time passed, more symptoms started to appear: headache, pain, fever, cold sweat, even nose bleeding and before they could figure it out, Dean fell unconscious. Apparently the claws of the werewolf were poisonous. However Sam wasn't sure. The only thing he got no doubts about was the fact that it was already too late. Dean couldn't make it to the hospital. So either Sam had to do anything possible to save him or Cas should've picked up his God damn phone.

"No. no, no, no, no. Dean … Dean!!!"

That was when Sam got to hear Y/n's helpless cry and see her true feelings. She was already in love with his brother.

Luckily, unlike typical love stories; no one died that night. Sam's antidote worked. And Dean opened his eyes an hour later.

"Sammy … Y/n?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Y/n grabbed his face and put her thirsty lips on her beloved hunter's, letting the tears stream down on her face… and then his.

"Never do that again." She begged, breaking the kiss, her trembling hands holding Dean's face so she could look into his eyes.

Sam couldn't stop his smile remembering how cute they were. Y/n literally had Dean wrapped around her little finger, to the point he accepted to teach her how to hunt and soon she was part of their team too. Until … a few months ago. After two years of them being constantly close to each other, Sam could tell something was off when Dean started to go out without eating breakfast with Y/n. Of course she got suspicious after the third time and that was when their endless arguments started.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Because nothing is wrong, Y/n."

Actually there was. Something was VERY wrong. Anyone could tell that just by the change in Dean's eyes whenever he wanted to look at Y/n. Day by day he was getting more quiet and cold. Now they didn't even eat pie together or watch movies late at night. And Sam couldn't ignore his brother being grumpy or drunk on hunts, not anymore.

"Ok man, I've had enough. You either tell me what's wrong with you or next time I won't make any excuses so you can leave Y/n out of our hunt plans. I'm serious, Dean, I'll tell her the truth." He finally said, when they were alone in the impala, on their way to do their next hunt.

"She wants more."

"More?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it's like she sees more in me. She thinks we can have a different life. There's no need for any saying, I can see it in her eyes whenever we accidentally come across some family at a diner that try to feed their kids or people's wedding photos whenever we go to talk with some witnesses or whoever during the research! Sometimes she even looks up wedding dresses or kid stuff on the net!" Dean blew his anger out of his nostrils and sighed, shaking his head.

"Wow." Sam couldn't find the proper word to say but he couldn't hide his surprised face either.

"What?" Dean gave him an annoyed look.

"I mean …" Sam chuckled. "… are you telling me you're actually angry with her for imagining the things you always dream about?!"

"Sam …"

"No, really. I'm just curious. What's wrong with you, man?" Sam asked genuinely, waiting for an answer.

"What's wrong with me?! You think something is wrong with me just because I'm the rational one in this relationship; who's actually able to see the difference between a dream and the reality?"

Yeah, anyone could take that earnest speech, but not Sam. He'd seen and knew enough about his brother.

"What's the reality? Aren't you and Y/N living that dream life already?"

"What?! No. No … that's not the same." Dean shook his head.

"Really? How is it not? It's been two years, Dean. You two are constantly with and/or around each other. Always worried when the other one is in trouble and still looking at one another like there is nothing in the world that can make you happy as much as this relationship. So … excuse me if I won't buy your pretty speech; man ." Sam said, Rolling his eyes.

"Ok, let's say you're right but ... is it gonna be like that forever? With all the supernatural crap that we have to take care of … and the constant danger and chaos in this hunter life we have… I …"

"You what?" Sam asked when Dean didn't finish his sentence. He was lost in his thoughts, staring at this unknown point in the depth of the road. Finally he blew out his despair.

"I just can't let her fall for the things I know I can't provide for her. It's not fair, Sammy. It's not fair to lock her up in this dark life with me just because she loves me … especially while I know there is a whole bright future out there waiting for her."

"Here we go, the old Dean's self-doubt" Sam thought to himself as he took a deep breath before finding the best words to wake his brother up from this nightmare

"Yeah, I know but I don't think it's your call. If Y/n wants to go to hell with you instead of living in heaven with someone else, it's her choice. Not your responsibility. Right?"

Dean shook his head while his lips curved up a little to fake a smile but he never answered or said anything about that conversation ever again. He kept his silence for like three weeks … until someone new showed up: "Gary Smith". A tall man with the most stylish haircut and the most perfect teeth and smile.

They saw him for the first time at their hangout bar, as the new bartender who almost jumped in Y/n's way as soon as they entered the bar.

"Oh my God, bunny! Is this really you?" He said, pulling her in his embrace. Like she was the long time missing piece of his beloved puzzle!

"Bonny? You're wrong. Her name is Y/n." Dean said, pretty annoyed by the way Gary tightened his arms around Y/n's little shoulders, making him chuckle.

"No, uh … it's just a nickname." Y/n said as soon as the guy let her go.

"Yeah, actually the most fitting nickname that I could think of. I mean … you have to agree. She got the most cute little ears in the world." The guy explained, chuckling and pulling on her little star earring. Well, if Sam wanted to be honest, he had to agree with him. He never paid any attention to it before but now that Gary mentioned it, he could tell Y/n's ears were truly small.

"I see … So … I guess this means you were close friends?" Dean said, already hating the way Y/n e's blushed with hearing her old nickname.

"Uh … well, no. Actually more than that." The guy grinned, ruffling his own hair while he was awkwardly laughing and looking at Y/n. Just like a proud embarrassed teen!

"We used to date." Y/n said.

*oh* Sam tried his best not to let that stupid grin sit on his lips but Dean's frown and his sudden heavy silence didn't let him do so.

"Yeah. We are kinda each other's first. Like … you know? prom date." The man added, giving Y/n a wink while Dean's gaze was still locked on his large arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah. It's been years, Gary."

"I know. But believe me, bunny. you still look the same." He said, bending to put a kiss on her right cheek.

Dean would kill him. Sam just knew that. Because his brother's eyes were already burning with jealousy.

"By the way, don't you wanna tell me who these gentlemen are ?" The guy asked Y/n, giving her his softest smile.

"Of course. This is Sam and this is Dean. My colleagues who are my friends now. I live in their place."

After they met, everything got even more complicated. Y/n, the girl who was still trying to get old-happy-days Dean back suddenly stopped whatever she used to do. No more complains, no waiting at nights to see Dean before going to bed, no more effort to get involved in hunts, no nothing. And despite what Dean had claimed before, it was making Dean even more frustrated. Day to day he and Y/n were getting colder towards each other and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That was what made him even more furious. Sam already knew all of that and he still had to live with both of those grumpy faces. So last night when they began to fight, he could see this was coming: Y/n left the bunker after Dean let some hurtful things out of his mouth, just because he didn't know how to deal with all the heartache anymore. He now was convinced that Y/n didn't love him anymore. Yet the next day after drinking whatever strong drink they had, he begged Sam to come with him. Apparently Jodie texted Dean about Y/n being in her place for that night. Just to make sure that her crazy step son won't sell his soul over a tracking spell! So Dean almost begged his brother to be there with him, cause Dean believed that as much as Y/n didn't care about him, she still respected Sam and cared about him. Like a little sister and her elder brother.

So here they were, In Jodie's living room, in front of her and Y/n.

"Considering your sleepy eyes, I think we caught you at bed time, huh?" Sam asked, checking Y/n's obvious eye bags.

"Who says that? I'm totally good, Sam."

She said with a small smile, looking much more in control and stronger than before. So Sam knew it was a lie. Y/n Just had made her peace with what had happened last night. The realization۹ kicked Dean in the gut. Y/n always used to be stronger and bolder when she got hurt.

"I'm gonna make some coffee for us. Why don't you guys take a seat till I come back?"

Jodie interrupted, to ease the heavy and sharp silence that suddenly had fallen over all of them.

Y/n gave her a smile.

"Of course."

It was so fake. Her smile didn't even curl her lips completely. She was still badly hurting.

Sam swore in his head when he looked over his brother who sank silently into the nearest seat at the end of the table like a broken shell that he was too . One of Dean's hands was in the pocket of his jacket, the other formed a fist on the table. Sam was sure Dean knew it too. He knew everything was almost past saving. "Almost". Sam tried to stick to their small chance.

"So …" He cleared his voice before he put some (semi fake) hope into his words."You're … you're gonna come back home today or did Alex and Claire made you promise them otherwise?" He laughed and tried to make it funny but the truth was he asked this for Dean's sake, knowing he already was struggling to find the words … to let Y/n know how much he wanted her back … to ask her to come back.

"To be honest … I don't think I can live in the bunker anymore." Y/n said and as Dean's head snapped up to look at her in horror, she raised her hand to stop his (likely) protests.

"I applied for a job 3 weeks ago and to my surprise they called me this morning to tell me I'd actually got it."

*What?*

No one had to ask it. The question was already hung in the air. She snored mockingly in her nose. "Perfect timing, right?"

She moved her gaze from her interlocked fingers on the table to Dean's eyes.

He didn't answer, he didn't move but he got tense. Still staring back at Y/n.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sam asked, once again saving Dean from asking the question he was itching to ask with some other words that for sure couldn't be nice.

"I wanted to but I didn't think I could actually get it and even if I did, I never figured out how to tell you. Besides, I never considered the "move out" option before..." She looked at Sam for a second before she turned her gaze on Dean. "... But I actually appreciate that you bring it up. I think now I can take the advice. I'm gonna move on."

Sam's heart dropped in his stomach when he heard those words. Because he knew what this meant. It felt something like having to watch Dean get stabbed in the heart.

"Is this … because of that Bartender?" Dean asked, staring deadly at Y/n with his bloodshot eyes. He was already chewing on his bottom lip. And Sam knew a heavy storm was on its way to hit them.

"I don't want to answer that question."

*shit*

"Why? Because you can't just simply say no?" Dean scolded and Sam could see how it pushed on Y/n boundaries.

"No. Because it's not your fucking business and it's not Gary's business either. But at least he knows his limits."

*well, fuck*

"By "limits" you mean when he drools on you just because for God knows whatever the reason, you started to wear leather jackets when we go there?"

"WHAT?!"

*Oh, fuck* Sam thought to himself, watching Y/n rise from her seat.

"You think … you really think that I …" she laughed nervously and Sam could tell she would punch Dean in the face if she wasn't a sweet, super nice person.

"How you can even …"

"I can even what, Y/n? Are we now going to pretend like I'm a blind man who can't see how you got attracted to your ex again? Did you really think I couldn't see how your hands were shaking when his filthy face lighted up by seeing you for the first time after all these years?"

Sam wanted to interrupt him or at least leave the room but everything was happening so fast.

"So what? Why and since when you care about my private life?"

"Since you stopped drinking bunker's beers just because you rather drink those crappy poisonous cocktails he makes at the bar!"

Dean was on his feet now as well. And despite his will, Sam couldn't stop his smile. He never saw his brother this jealous before. It was fun.

"Poisonous? … You … of all people, you are the one who says this? cause as much as I know, you're the one who puts dormitives in my guest's food so the poor guy gets tired and can't spend his time with me!"

"Yeah, because your poor guy is not welcomed in MY PLACE!" Dean yelled, punching the table with so much power that made everyone almost jump out of their skins.

"Dean!" Finally Sam interrupted but as soon as he stood up, someone rang the doorbell and Sam could hear Jodie welcoming someone inside.

"Guys … I know it's not my place to interfere but you two really need to sort things out somewhere private … of course that's when both of you can be much calmer than this."

"No, we have nothing to say or to talk about, anymore. Your brother was clear enough when he said he wants me to move out, so I'll move out. And that's it."

Y/n declared, looking at Sam to resist any eye contact with Dean, probably to make him even more crazy.

"And that's it? You wanna ignore that part where you were too eager and ready to accept that suggestion and leave the bunker instantly like your pants were on fire?!"

Dean retorted while Y/n was shaking her head like she couldn't believe him.

"Whose pants are on fire?" Jodie interrupted as soon as she re-entered the room with the coffees she'd made, this time a man was with her. Y/n's guy. The famous bartender.

*Oh, No!*

Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a second so the guy couldn't read his face.

"Obviously not mine." Dean hissed through his teeth, looking first at the guy and then at Y/n with such a disappointment and rage that no one could ignore.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The guy asked, choosing the worst spot to stand on: right next to Y/n.

"My typical life I guess. Nothing's new." She mumbled in reply to him but her eyes were still on Dean.

"No, nothing is wrong with your life, Y/n. It's about your choices. That's what's wrong with you. As always." Dean said bitterly. As sharp as a knife, as cold as ice. Sam could see how it drained color from Y/n's face.

"You better watch your mouth, buddy." The Gary guy warned Dean and Sam could tell that if it wasn't for the sudden thud sound that stole everyone's attention, Dean would throw a fight right there. But …

"Y/n!" Jodie almost screamed. Y/n was laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.

"Oh, God." Sam said as Jodie rushed to her.

"Y/n? … Y/n can you hear me?"

As she sat next to her, Gary's fingers already were on Y/n's carotid pulse point. So Sam couldn't stop himself from looking up at his brother, who was still standing where he was. In shock.

"Oh, shit!" Gary's worried voice made Sam check Y/n's pale face again but Jodie was the one to dare ask the question which was on everyone's minds.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Her pulse ... too faint." He said before turning to Dean: "Is she bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" Dean blinked and mumbled in confusion.

If it was up to Sam, he'd ask *What bleeding?* & *Why are you asking this from my brother?*

"Oh my. You still don't know. Do you?" Gary sneered.

"Know what? What's happening?" Jodie was freaking out now and Sam actually felt the same. He didn't like the way this stranger pretended like he knew her better than them. However what happened next was much more unexpected. And … rude!

To everyone's surprise, the guy reached out to Y/n's jeans and drew his hand between her legs but before anyone could react, he spread her legs open so it could be possible for everyone to see that big red stain there. Then he raised his hand. It was all wet and red in blood!

"She's having a miscarriage." He revealed.

Sam's gaze instantly caught Dean's ... Burning. Dean was burning inside with his heavy silence.

"Don't you worry. It's not mine." Gary added more fuel to that hell with such a mocking tone, staring right back at Dean's eyes.

Now Sam could feel it. The storm was there: rising in his brother's roar!

Before Sam could've moved any muscles, Gary was already pinned to the wall, Dean's hands on his now-ripped-out collar.

"Dean, no!" Sam jumped in, trying to catch his brother's arm before his fist make any contact with the guy's nose but all he could do was changing the direction of the punch which landed on Gary's shoulder, making a painful cracking sound.

"I said no … Dean, stop it." Sam had to literally cage Dean in his arms so the furious man couldn't tear Gary apart.

"Get off me, Sam. This son of a bitch has to learn his place."

"Enough!" As Dean just broke himself free, Jodie's scream stopped everyone in their tracks.

"It's enough!" Jodie warned all three men, pointing at them one by one.

"You want to fight? Not here. Not in my house!"

"But ..."

As soon as Dean opened his mouth to protest, Jodie cut him:

"And you … you should know Y/n is pregnant with your twins. So … you'll be a responsible man who will try his best to save them or you can get the hell out of here and never come back!"

"What?" Sam was too shocked to suppress his reaction while Dean couldn't even find any words to say. His confused look darted between Jodie's face and Y/n's figure while his parted lips kept moving without making any noise, just like a dying fish on the shore!

"I promised her not to tell anyone but it was a promise under normal conditions, not this." Jodie sighed, struggling to keep her emotions under control. Sam saw the worry in her frown. Like a real mother, worried for her children. However it was nothing in comparison to his brother's blank eyes and pale face.

"Dean, It's ok. We just need to take her to hospital. … it's ok, man. I promise."

He had to grab Dean by his jacket, as his brother was struggling to process all of these in his head.

"Come on, man. We got no time. Do I need to do this alone or you'll …"

"Get the car, Sammy."

It was just a simple sentence. Yet it had enough power to make Sam's heart sank. Since Dean had put the car keys in his hand saying that, Sam couldn't stop thinking about that tone. Dean never had called Baby a "car" In years. And Sam had never heard that crack in his voice since their Dad's death.

"You ok?" He finally let himself ask, two hours after they arrived at the hospital.

"I want to be." Dean closed his eyes and put his head against the cold wall, letting the dim light to darken the shadows under his eyes.

"I'm sure she'll be good. She's strong, Dean. You know that."

He smiled and Sam looked away not to watch him. He knew that smile. Dean used to give him that, whenever everything was gone so wrong that Dean couldn't promise him anything good. Like when both of them were still kids. Hungry, cold and all alone in a rusty motel room where John had left them on their own for a one day long hunt but then a heavy snow had crashed the roads and kept them apart for half a week. So Dean had to wash the dishes and do the laundry in the motel to rent the room for another day and provide some snacks so they wouldn't starve to death. But after three days, the hotel managers didn't want them to be around. And Sam could vividly remember that smile on his brother's face when he asked: *Where should we go then?*

"You were always such a father material. You know?"

Sam admitted with a broken smile on his face.

"You were always responsible, kind and caring with me as a kid. And I can't imagine anyone who deserves to be a father more than you."

Dean took a deep breath and opened his eyes without looking at him: "But I don't want ... I really can't, Sammy."

All, it certainly wasn't the response Sam had expected. He used to believe that Dean would never turn down any chance to start a family with Y/n. Especially after everything in the world was back to normal.

"Are you kidding me? You always wanted this."

"No …" Dean finally turned his gaze to meet his brother's confused eyes. "No, Sammy. Not like this. I don't want to raise another kid without his mom. I'm not that strong anymore."

Dang. Once again Sam's heart dropped in his stomach. Dean was really helpless.

"Mr. Winchester?"

Dean was on his feet as Sam just realized the doctor's presence.

"It's me."

Sam prayed for any good news as doctor took a glance of Dean and fixed his glasses on his face …

"To be continued …"

READ CHAPTER 2 HERE

tag list:

@jay-and-dean @adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278

The next and also ultimate chapter will post on Sunday, April 25. Thanks for reading.

Feedback are always appreciated.

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean x ofc #dean x you #dean winchester #allyswritingevent #Acklesterritory #dean winchester x ofc #dean x y/n #dean winchester x you

115 notes · View notes

to-boldly-nope · 3 years

Text

Trade All My Tomorrows For Just One Yesterday (Leviathan!Castiel)

Plot: You had a nightmare that something was wrong with Castiel, but you were known for having visions in the past.

Words: >1026

Warning: too many time skips, writing’s kinda bad with this one because I kept on putting it off, not really a pairing

GIF not mine

You didn't know what was happening. Your back was pressed against the cold concrete wall with nowhere to go. He grabbed your neck and lifted you up. Your hands clawed at his, trying to get him to let go, but he was strong.

"You're probably wondering where your little angel went?" He taunted with a pout. He tilted his head to reveal black veins running along his neck as he inhaled through his nose. "Cas is-he's gone. He's dead. We run the show now."

He gripped your neck tighter and you let out a choked breath before trying to kick him away, but nothing. This is where you died. This is where Castiel died. This is the end for everyone.

You sat up on the couch, gasping for the air you thought that you lost. You ran your fingers across your neck and swore that there were bruises there, but you knew that there weren't. The dusty smell of the stack of books beside you greeted you back into reality. You looked around and sighed, realizing that you were at Bobby's place. You got up and went to get some water. It just felt so real that your fingers absentmindedly ran across your neck again as you grabbed a cup from the cupboard. Your hand slipped, causing the glass to shatter as it hit the floor and soon enough Sam and Dean came running in, both holding their guns. You put your hands up and smiled nervously.

"Dammit, (Y/N), don't scare us like that," Dean groaned as he put his gun away.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep. Can someone turn on the light, please?"

Sam turned on the light and you went to pick the glass up, but Sam also came to help you. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," you sighed, "I'm worried about Cas. First, we find out that he's working with Crowley and then the whole Purgatory thing. I just-I just don't know."

"Listen, we're all worried about Cas, but he can work it out," Dean piped in, making you look at him and let out a heavy sigh.

"I had a dream about Cas and it wasn't Cas," you interrupted.

"Wasn't Cas?" Sam asked while you nodded as you picked up the remaining pieces of glass.

"Whatever it was, it using him as a vessel. There were black veins running up the neck and it referred to themselves in third person like there were multiple of them. If it wasn't just a nightmare then-" You shook your head to get the thought out of your head. It probably was just a silly nightmare, you hadn't had a vision for years.

"Alright, let's get you back to bed and we can try to figure it out in the morning, ok?" Dean said while watching you get up. You sliced your palm on the glass in your hand and watched the blood blossom over the glass. "We'll get him back."

You finally opened your eyes, lowering your arm from shielding yourself from the bright light. Dean and Bobby found a way to get the souls out of Castiel, but he didn't move from his spot on the floor.

"Cas!" You cried while running over. "Oh God, please be ok. Please."

You heard him inhale as he looked at you. You breathed out a sigh of relief as Dean and Bobby helped him off the ground. Everyone glad that Castiel was still alive.

"(Y/N), I'm sorry," Cas apologized. "I'll make it up to you in any way I can. I didn't mean to hurt-"

"It's fine, Cas. I'm glad you're back. I missed you."

Cas looked at you with a smile but then he fell to the ground in pain.

“Cas?"

"Get back, they're too strong!" He yelled out, making you flinch back.

"Who is, Cas? What's wrong?"

"Leviathan."

His expression changed from a painful one to one of malice. You cowered back towards the wall, having nowhere to go. Bobby and Dean were unconscious, leaving you alone with him. He quickly cornered you and held you up by the neck, your hands were clawing at the other pair of hands, trying to free yourself.

You heard Dean groan as he sat up, making the monster drop you and you let out a gasp and a cough.

"How many of you ass-clowns are in there?" Dean asked, "A hundred? More?"

You watched as black liquid began dripping from Castiel's head. "The vessel's going to explode," you pointed out.

"I personally wouldn't do anything too strenuous. You don't want to hurt someone who's important to someone else. In fact, I'd call it a day and head on home."

"We'll be back," Cas said as he began walking out.

You began to follow after him, but Dean quickly grabbed your arm. "There's no saving him."

"Just let me follow him, Dean, please."

"I'm not going to let you get yourself killed!" He hissed.

You took back your arm and followed the trail of black goo.

You watched as Cas walked towards a reservoir. Dean, Sam, and Bobby showed up just in case something happened to you. You all knew that you were all screwed now since you couldn't stop him. He quickly disappeared below the water and a whirlpool with black liquid appeared where he was. You choked back your tears as you saw his trench coat resurfaced.

Dean went to retrieve the trench coat as Sam let you cry on his chest. He was gone and there was nothing you could do now. There was nothing nobody could do.

"It's a little wet," Dean joked, trying to make you feel better as he handed you the coat. "Hopefully it can dry out."

"Hopefully," you told him while sniffing and wiping your tears away. "Thank you, Dean."

Dean gave you a soft smile while patting your shoulder. "Don't worry, we're gonna get him back. We always do."

“I’m sick of you saying that!” You snapped. “We’re never going to get him back!”

Sam and Bobby watched as Dean inhaled, almost looking pissed off, but you knew he was heartbroken because you may be right. “I’m going to the car.”

Dean left and Sam and Bobby went after him. Your knees buckled as you fell to the ground and sobbed, holding onto the last piece of Castiel that you had.

#castiel #castiel x reader #castiel imagine #leviathan castiel #spn #supernatural #spn imagine #spn imagines #supernatural imagines #supernatural imagine

48 notes · View notes

crashdevlin · 3 years

Text

Leftoverture- Prologue

Author’s Note: Don’t get me wrong, I loved the finale, but I was thinking about how much I miss Dean and I couldn’t stop thinking about ways I could have him back so…I’m going canon divergent while being as close to canon as possible. ‘Cause that’s how Cassie do. Will eventually crossover with my Crash Into Me series.

Summary: Sam is carrying on as best he can, when the Dean from the other universe shows up at the Bunker in complete distress. Can Dean carry on without his brother like Sam is trying to? Can they help each other?

Pairing: None, thus far.

Word count: 1196

Story Warnings: angst, Post-barn scene sads, mentions of major character deaths (Dean and AU!Sam), mentions of depression,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam woke to Miracle jumping on his bed. He groaned and reached out to pat the dog’s head. “Yeah. I’m up. Gimme a minute, buddy.” Waking up was always hard for him now. It used to be so easy for him, but since Dean died...pushing himself out of his bed was harder every day.

If it weren’t for that dog, he wouldn’t get out of bed at all.

Miracle whined and pushed his head against Sam’s thigh. “Yeah. I’m...yeah.”

He was going through the motions. Without Dean, everything was dulled. Except the pain. The pain was all-encompassing. The pain was everything.

He forced himself out of bed. He had to every day. He fed the dog. Fed himself. Moved along with his day. He waited on the laundry. He walked Miracle...couldn’t bring himself to go for a run.

He kept waiting for things to get better. Dean said Sam could handle it, that he could do it alone, but Sam felt a little more like that was a lie every single day. Weeks passed. He only felt worse.

He sat at the table in the library, head hung over a book of Greek lore, when the large front door opened. Sam stood, on instant alert, grabbing the pistol from the holster under the table and standing, moving to hide to the side of the archway as footsteps were heard on the spiral staircase.

“Sam?!” an intimately familiar voice called out. Sam’s heart felt like it was being crushed at the sound. “Dean? Are you fellas home?”

Sam stepped out of the library and stared across the War Room at his brother’s face. Familiar green eyes with the crinkles at the corners, freckled skin across his cheeks and hands...with beaded bracelets and a Rolex watch on his wrists.

“Dean.” Sam set the pistol on the map table and stepped closer, forcing down his pain. He almost didn’t notice the same pain on Dean’s face. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” He cleared his throat and stepped closer to Sam. “Where’s your brother?”

“I...asked you first,” Sam responded, unable to bring himself to say the words. Not to Dean’s face.

"I just...wanted…needed to…"

Sam looked into Dean's eyes and noted the pain in the dark green orbs. "Where’s your brother?"

Dean broke immediately, dropping his body to the bottom step of the staircase and sobbing into his hands. "I couldn't save him! I couldn't--there was so much blood and I couldn't-"

Tears rolled down Sam's cheeks. The words Dean said were exactly what his own thoughts about his own brother's death. He couldn’t stop himself from sitting next to Dean and holding him as they cried.

"My Dean died too," Sam whispered after the sobs started to wane. Dean wiped at his eyes and looked over at Sam, who nodded sadly. "You wanna beer?"

"Sorry about that. I-I don't normally...I haven’t broken down like that since it happened," Dean said, five minutes later as he picked at the edge of the label on his beer.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"Werewolf," Dean managed, even as his voice broke on the word. "Slashed his chest t-to ribbons...got his heart...but it didn't eat him. No, I did not let that piece of shit eat my brother's heart, I wr-wrapped…" His hand went across his mouth, shaking as he rubbed the words from his lips. "His heart burned with him," Dean concluded before taking a drink of his beer.

Sam's mind settled on his own memory of standing in front of a funeral pyre, his brother burning before his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What happened to Dean?"

Sam took a deep pull off of his beer and cleared his throat as he set it down. "S-something similar. We were fighting a nest of vampires in this old barn and...and there was this...this rebar hook. Vamp pushed him on it during the struggle and...it pierced his, pierced his heart and...there was no, there no saving him."

"I'm very sorry, Samuel. Sam, I mean," Dean corrected, shaking his head at himself. "You're not Samuel. I apologize."

"Right. Harder than it seems to convince the brain of that. I mean...you’re not my brother...but the sound of your voice is…" Sam shook his head, too.

"I always thought I would go first," Dean said, voice quiet and far-off. "I never imagined a world where I didn't have Sammy."

Sam had to swallow down a sob. "Yeah. My Dean was the same." He swallowed again, but there was no getting around the ball of sadness in his throat. "He got what he wanted."

There was silence for a long moment before the sound of paws on tile thundering toward the War Room. Miracle jumped in Dean's lap and immediately started to lick the salt from his cheeks.

"Who is this little mutt?!" Dean asked, a bit of awe and amusement in his voice as he petted the pooch.

Sam cleared his throat. "That’s Miracle. Dean rescued him."

"Oh, he must think I'm-"

"Yeah," Sam interrupted. "That’s the happiest I've seen him since…"

Dean pressed a kiss to the top of Miracle's head and caressed his ears. "Such a good boy."

"He is. He's a really good dog." Sam stood and crossed to the whiskey decanter. “I think I need something stronger than beer. You want a glass?”

“Please.”

Sam poured two glasses of whiskey and turned back around. Miracle had his head in Dean’s lap, looking as happy as he’d ever looked. He slid one of the glasses across the table in front of Dean and sat back down. “How long ago did it happen?”

“Week ago,” Dean said, staring at the amber liquid. “Yours?”

“A month.”

“How are you still standing?”

Sam’s eyes snapped to Dean’s. How was he still standing? “Dean wanted me to keep going. So, I’m going.” He shrugged and focused on his whiskey.

“Does it get easier?”

“Not so far.”

Another moment of silence settled over the room as the men drank. Dean stared off into space as he scratched at the dog’s head. “I don’t think I can do this,” he whispered eventually.

“Of course, you ca-” Sam started to argue.

“No.” Dean looked over at Sam and shook his head. “No, I can’t. I’m not built for it. I’ve been taking care of Sammy since I was a kid. I’ve never been without him. I can’t do this without him.”

Sam swallowed and looked over at Dean. “Dean...I’m sure you can. I’m sure you…” He sighed. “You can keep going. I know it seems like you can’t, but-”

“It doesn’t seem like it, Sam. I am not able to do this. I am not like you. I can’t do this.” He pushed the dog out of his lap and stood. “I cannot. I cannot go forth without him.” He stomped away toward the library and Sam wanted to follow, but something forced him to stay as Miracle ran after Dean.

‘Cannot go forth without him’ rang in Sam’s head. ‘Yes you can’ followed it.

“I don’t want to,” he whispered. “I really don’t want to.”

#cassie writes stuff #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfic #post-barn scene #angst #depression #major character deaths #dean winchester #sam winchester #au!Dean

75 notes · View notes

castiel-kline · 4 years

Text

Filling in the gaps of 15x20, featuring Castiel and Jack.

Castiel woke with a gasp, the Empty pressing in around him as usual. He sat up, quickly, trying to get his bearings. He was met with a watery smile on a face he thought he’d never be lucky enough to see again.

“Hello,” Jack said, fingers half curled into a wave.

“Jack,” Cas breathed, pulling his son in for a fierce hug. Jack clung to him just as hard, the two of them huddled on what passed for solid ground in the Empty.

They pulled back, just looking at each other. Castiel kept his hand on Jack’s shoulder, not wanting to let him go just yet. He looked at Jack’s face, at the tiniest hints of tears in his eyes, and felt his heart sink.

“Jack, what happened?” Jack didn’t reply immediately, and Cas felt even more dread building, dripping down his spine like a melting icicle. “No. You’re not- you can’t be-”

“I’m not dead,” Jack assured him. Cas could feel his whole body slumping in relief. “I’m… I really missed you, Cas.”

“Well, I missed you too.” Cas squeezed Jack’s shoulder, rejoicing when a smile flitted across Jack’s face. Dying without saying goodbye… it was one of the most difficult things Cas had ever done.

“Wait, I don’t- I don’t understand. How are you here?”

Jack shrugged, and in the shift Cas could see something different. If he really looked, there was something more, something bright and powerful and ageless burning under Jack’s skin. More powerful than his soul and his grace combined.

“We defeated Chuck,” Jack said. “We didn’t kill him, but I- I took his powers, and I sort of took over from him.”

Castiel remembered sitting with Kelly before Jack was born. And he remembered that one little word that had kept them going.

Paradise.

And Castiel smiled, wider than he’d ever smiled before. “You did it,” he whispered. Jack returned his grin, and the two of them laughed, the sound echoing off of the Empty around them, beating the sorrow back. “You did it. Oh, Jack, I’m so proud of you. I always- Kelly and I always knew you could do this. We always believed.”

“I know.” Jack nodded. He stood, reaching down a hand to pull Castiel up with him. “Come with me.”

Jack tugged him along by the sleeve of his coat and started to run, the gesture so young and childlike in contrast to his new position as the universe’s caretaker.

“Jack, where are we-”

There was a sudden flash of light, and Castiel gasped, back straightening as if he’d been struck by an electrical current. When the roar of his grace subsided, he realized it was- it was there. It was all there, his wings, his grace- and the Hellfire scars and charring on his feathers were gone. Jack beamed at him, hands tucked behind his back.

“Jack, I…” Cas didn’t have the words. He spread his wings, flared them out and reveled in how free it felt. There wasn’t pain anymore. He looked around, suddenly taking in where they were.

“We’re in Heaven,” he said, looking back to Jack.

“Yes.” Jack lifted his chin. “I know Heaven isn’t what a lot of people expect, or want. I know it’s not what my mother, or Sam and Dean, believed that it should be. So- I’m going to fix it.”

Jack snapped his fingers, and all the doors and walls came crashing down, the compartments folding away. And the people, all the souls in Heaven, they rejoiced.

--------

Cas half expected chaos, but he should have known better. Somehow, Jack made it all make sense. The people were milling about, all those souls trying to find their loved ones and choose a place to settle. Or keep on going, always traveling. It didn’t really matter.

He and Jack were walking through the crowds, guiding them on their way and explaining the situation as gently as they could.

“Hey, you. Shoulda known you’d have somethin’ to do with all this.”

Cas whirled around, coming face to face with an old comrade-in-arms. “Bobby,” he said. “It’s- it’s good to see you again. Are you alright?”

Bobby shrugged. “Seems like. Are my idjits with you?”

“No. They’re, uh. They’re not here yet.”

“Guess I should be grateful for that,” Bobby grumbled. “I do have to ask, though, what’s with the sudden change? There a management shift I should be aware of or somethin’?”

Jack came bounding over, grabbing on to Castiel’s arm. “Cas, I found her! We- oh.” Jack looked at Bobby, recognition and realization igniting in his eyes. He straightened, putting on a front of godly power. Cas would have to tell him later that he didn’t need to do that.

“Hello,” Jack said, unnecessarily nervous.

Bobby looked at Cas from under a furrowed brow, then to Jack, and back to Cas. “Well, feathers, didn’t know you had it in ya.”

Cas shook his head. “Oh, no, it’s not what you-”

“I’m Jack,” Jack cut in. “I took the power of God, and now I’m fixing Heaven! It’s nice to meet you. Sam and Dean have told me a lot about you.”

Bobby’s confusion only deepened. Castiel sighed, and started explaining.

--------

“So, you got a kid.”

“Yes.”

“And Sam and Dean helped raise him.”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

Cas huffed a laugh, eyes trailing after Jack where he stood a little ways away, helping a man who’d died in 1432 reunite with his mother.

“No. We’ve all been saved.”

---------

Never let it be said that Kelly Kline was not a patient woman. By the time Cas caught up with her, millions of souls having been helped, it might well have been weeks. She was standing hand in hand with Jack, the two of them in animated conversation.

“Kelly,” he said, and she smiled at him as she brought her arms around him.

It felt like home.

---------

Jack kept busy. He and Cas swept through all of Heaven, the remaining angels having been assigned sections to comb through as well. They needed to make sure no souls were still lost without their families or their chosen place having been found.

The two of them spent plenty of time with Kelly, who had designed a little cottage like the one Jack was born in.

Jack worried about her getting lonely, and every time she had the same reply.

“I’m waiting for my parents to come. And I’ve got you two- my angels.”

One day Castiel and Kelly sat on the porch of that cottage, staring out across the lake at dawn. Jack had gone down to Earth to collect the wandering souls, those stuck in between. Like Kevin Tran. And he would bring them home.

“You were right, Kelly. You were always right. Jack changed the world.”

“He did.” Kelly smiled. “But we were right, Castiel. Both of us.”

They held hands and watched the sun rise.

---------

Jack was still Jack, despite the changes. He’d gone off in search of Mary Winchester, to make things right, as he said, and promptly threw himself into Castiel’s arms upon his return. They flew around for a while to calm him down, and eventually Jack smiled again.

Castiel was more than willing to be whatever Jack needed. That was his purpose- to aid in maintaining paradise, and to aid in maintaining Jack.

He’d never been happier.

---------

“I’m leaving,” Jack said. They’d always known it was coming.

Kelly hugged him goodbye, assuring Jack that she’d be waiting for him, and Cas walked him to the part of Heaven that remained free of human souls- the Lobby, as it had been dubbed. The throne had been removed, and in its place was a list. A list that always grew, of every soul admitted to Heaven. He let an anxious eye linger on the W column each time he passed by.

“Where will you go?” Castiel asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Jack answered. “But Amara says she’ll take me to see space. Like Star Wars, Cas!”

“Well, I bet you’ll enjoy that.”

Jack nodded, his eyes earnest. “I will.”

Castiel nodded back, feeling as if there were a knot inside him. Everything about this was bittersweet, pride dancing with sorrow in his heart. It was, he supposed, how every parent felt watching their child start a new chapter.

“Cas.” Jack settled a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be back. You don’t have to worry.”

“I know. I just- I’ll miss you, Jack.”

“I know. Me too.” Jack tucked himself into Castiel’s arms, burying his face in his shoulder. Cas just held him for a while, feeling the thrum of Jack’s grace and the effervescence of his soul.

They pulled apart.

“Bye, Cas,” Jack said, hand raised in a wave.

“Goodbye, Jack.”

And he was off. Absent from here, yes, but he was around, and he would be back. And really, what was a few decades when you had eternity?

---------

Castiel had tried to lead Heaven before, and he’d failed each time he tried. Now, though- now, the people were happy. Cas still visited Kelly, and he visited Mary and Bobby and the Harvelles and even found that the remaining angels were starting to open up to him again. When Jack got back, Cas would have to ask him about bringing more angels back from the Empty. Balthazar, Hannah, Samandriel, Gabriel… what he wouldn’t give to see them again.

He took a page out of Jack’s book, and hoping to have an inkling of Jack’s courage, found the Novaks. He’d known forgiveness was impossible, but at least he’d said his piece.

Then, one fateful day, a new name appeared on the list:

Dean Winchester.

And Castiel watched, waiting for Sam’s name to join it, but it didn’t. It wouldn’t for years.

And somehow, he knew that was alright.

--------

The decades passed, and Castiel waited. He waited for Sam’s name, and he waited for Jack’s return.

Sometimes he could hear Sam praying. It varied, the things he’d say. Sometimes he just prayed to Jack, and the only reason Cas heard was because he happened to be standing in the Lobby. He was glad to know Sam was happy, and living a good, quiet life. Like he deserved.

Hey, Jack. Cas. Dean. I hope you guys are okay. I’m just- I’m really missing you. I love you.

Eileen and I got married today. I didn’t have a best man, I just couldn’t- yeah. It was a little offbeat and quiet, but it suited us, you know? Anyway. I love you guys.

I have a kid. I have a baby, and he’s- you’d all love him. I wish you’d gotten to be a big brother, Jack. You would have loved it.

Hey, Cas- Dean Jr. loves PB&J. It, uh- it makes me think of you. I miss you, buddy.

Jody passed. Bad hunt. I feel like you guys should know. I hope you’re taking good care of her up there, Jack. She deserves it.

Dean started middle school today, and I can’t believe it. Time goes by so damn fast, doesn’t it? But I, uh. I still miss you. Love you guys.

Claire and Kaia are engaged. Dean Jr’s gonna be the ring bearer. He’s so excited.

Jack- happy tenth, bud. Double digits is a big deal. I miss you.

I never thought I’d be an attendee at Sam and Castiel Fitzgerald’s grad party, but here I am. Garth insisted. Eileen got to skip out because Dean’s got a school thing this weekend, but man, are they missing some good stuff. Garth throws a killer party. Who knew?

Eileen- she’s, um. She’s sick. I just- if you’ve got a miracle in you, Jack.. I know it’s probably a lost cause. But I don’t want Dean to lose his mom. And I can’t- I just can’t. Not again.

I love you, Eileen. Give your brother-in-law a big hug for me, okay?

Dean graduated from Stanford today. I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder.

Happy 65th, old man. I miss you, jerk.

I think I’ll be seeing you soon, Dean. Hopefully you too, Jack. Cas- I don’t really know where you are, but I hope I’ll get to see you too.

I love you. Jack- make sure my son’s okay. Watch out for him, okay buddy? And keep doing great. You got this. Thank you- thanks for my life.

---------

Castiel watched as the name he’d been waiting for joined the list, after all this time. And he sent up a prayer of his own.

When Jack came back, as Cas knew he would, they had some family to visit.

#ya'll know I had to #;)#spn spoilers #spn 15x20 #castiel #jack kline #sam winchester #dadstiel #spn #spn fanfic #idk if this qualifies as a coda but whatever it is #enjoy #kitkat writes

166 notes · View notes

spnwriter · 3 years

Text

I was wrong and I’m okay with that.

Summary: The reader is love with Lucifer but is convinced he can’t love her back.

Warnings: Some smut

His hands run down my sides. They come to rest on my hips. He’s stopping me from squirming. He knows what I want. He’s teasing me.

“Patients, little one. You’ll get what you want. Just let daddy touch you for a while.” Lucifer says before his forked tongue licks my ear.

“Daddy.” I whine.

“Bad girls don’t get to cum.” He warns.

I can feel him straining against his jeans. I can feel how big he is. He isn’t even touching me, and I can feel myself dripping on the sheets.

“You’re so wet, little one.” He teases as he slots himself between my thighs. “Look at you, you’re dripping.”

He runs a finger through my lips. He circles my clit.

“Now stay still. Daddy’s gonna have a taste.” He says before he wraps his arm around my thighs.

I gasp awake. What the fuck was that?

“Glad you’re awake. You were making some serious happy noises. What were you dreaming about?” Dean teases.

I flip him off before I catch Lucifer’s eyes. He’s smirking at me. He can’t know what I was dreaming about. It’ impossible. He doesn’t have that power. I feel like I’d know if he did. Cas would have told me ages ago if he could see my dreams. I have too many nightmares for him to not have mentioned it. Maybe he’s smirking at me because I was having a sexy dream. He didn’t know about who. And it’d stay that way. If Dean knew he’d kill me. Sam would tie my up and try to exercise me.

Where did it come from? Do I actually want Lucifer? NO, surely not. It was just a dream. I have them all the time. I’ve had a couple about the boys, but it didn’t mean anything. Our relationship hasn’t changed because my brain decides to make them the main star of a sex dream. I pushed it to the back of my mind. I’m supposed to be helping Dean.

Lucifer has been eyeing me all day. It’s like he knew. He kept making that face at me. I’ve caught him looking at me boobs more than once today. He can’t possibly know. Right? I was beginning to doubt myself. He had to know. The way he’s been looking at me with such lust, he has to know. How am I going to get myself out of this one? I don’t even know if I really want him or not. I hope it’s my brain being an asshole. One thing I do know, I have to avoid him at all costs.

Sam’s been giving me concerned looks all day. He knows somethings up. He can tell I’m anxious about something. He’s my best friend, of course he knows. I don’t know how to bring it up. I know he’ll ask. How does one admit they want to fuck the devil? Wait, I don’t want to fuck the devil. Why did I say that? Maybe I do want him? No, no, no. You cannot think like that. You don’t want him. The only thing that will come from wanting him is heartbreak. He’d never want me back. Not for more than sex. Humans are beneath him. He’s made that clear. I can’t let myself get emotional. Not for him. Granted he has been truly kind to me. He’s healed me when I’m injured. Even if it is just a small cut. He doesn’t do that for the boys. He’ll find me when I’m reading and just sit near me. He’s never said why he does that. He’s more than just Satan to me. That’s the problem. I know it’s more than lust I feel for him. We’ve gotten close over the last couple of months. He won’t admit it but, he’s soft with me. Sam’s worried about it. We’ve had the don’t catch feelings talk. I can’t help I’m in love with the archangel. Which is an awful thing because he will never love me back. He’s never been shown love, he doesn’t know what it is. I can’t blame him for it.

I need some space. Yes, that’s it, space. Maybe separating myself from him will help. I can’t allow myself to fall deeper. It’ll destroy me. I haven’t told Sam or Dean about my feelings for Lucifer. I think they’d disown me. I’m sure they’d both be upset that I let it get to that point. I have a feeling that Sam knows. I can see it in the way he looks at me with such sadness in his eyes. He doesn’t want me to get hurt. Dean’s clueless as usual. He hasn’t caught on to what’s going on around him. He’s a little naïve when it comes to feelings.

I decided to go on a solo hunt. The boys were not happy. Sam forbade me from going alone. Dean told me that it was dumb to go alone but didn’t push beyond that. The person or angle that was the most upset was Lucifer. He followed me around while I was packing naming all the things that could go wrong. He begged me not to go alone. He wanted to go with me. Then at least if I got injured, he’d be there to heal me. I told him know a thousand times. He finally accepted me answer but wasn’t happy about it. He walked me to the car.

“Just be careful, little one.” He whispered before he shut the door.

Little one. The word echoes in my head. Little one. Where did that come from? He’s never called me anything other than my name. He certainly never called me little one in anything but my dreams. He must know. Don’t get all worked up, Y/N. It’s probably just a term of endearment. He’s probably just comfortable enough to call me something other than my name now. Relax, Y/N. Don’t get distracted. Hunting alone is dangerous enough.

The hunt went okay. I killed the damn thing but not before it took a swipe at me. Fucking werewolves. I’m fine. Just three pretty deep cuts on my stomach. I bandaged them up before I left the motel. I know I’m going to hear an earful when I get home. I figure Lucifer would be the angriest. I was right. He was pissed. He said he knew he shouldn’t have let me go alone. I got hurt and he wasn’t there to heal me. He said it all could have been avoided if I would have listened to him in the first place.

“Lucifer, that’s enough.” I snap at the angle.

“Enough? You got hurt.”

“And I’m fine. I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.”

“Clearly not. You could have died.”

“But I didn’t.”

“I could have lost you.” His voice shakes in a way I’ve never heard before.

“But you didn’t.”

“Not the point. You aren’t doing that again, little one.”

“Wait, a damn minute. You cannot tell me what to do.”

“Yes, I can. And I will. You clearly can’t make good choices on your own. I won’t lose you because of a stupid decision.”

“I’m sorry that’s not how that works. You can’t tell me what I can or can’t do. You aren’t my daddy.” I rush out before I could stop myself.

“But you want me to be.” Lucifer smirks. “You think I don’t know about those dirty dreams, Little one?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen them.”

“You have?” I question.

“I can see them all. You don’t do a good job guarding your thoughts.”

“We aren’t doing this.” I announce.

“You want me, I want you. What’s stopping us?” he presses.

He wants me too. He can’t be serious.

“Morality.” I suggest.

“What isn’t moral about wanting the devil to have his way with you?” he teases.

“Lucifer, I’m serious.”

“So am I, I’m not letting something as trivial as morality stand in the way of what I want.”

“You’ll never understand morality, Lucifer. I can’t do this.” I say before I try to walk away.

I can’t allow myself to give in. He won’t catch me if I fall. I’ll shatter into a million pieces. He knew all this time. He knew how I felt and never said anything. Not until he thought I almost died. Not that I did. He’s always been a bit dramatic. He said he doesn’t want to lose me. I don’t want to lose him either, but we can’t be what I want us to be. He doesn’t want me in the same way. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I can’t let myself fall too deep.

For the next couple of days, Lucifer hasn’t been around. In fact, I haven’t seen him since we got into that little fight. It seems if he can’t have me the way he wants then he doesn’t want me at all. I knew he didn’t want me in the same way.

“You have to stop saying that.” Lucifer suddenly appears.

“Saying what?”

“That I don’t want you the way you want me. You think I enjoy this obsession of mine? You think I enjoy worrying about you when you hunt. Especially alone. I don’t. I hate it. I hate how loving you makes me feel.” He shouts.

“Loving me?”

“Yes, Little one. I love you.”

“I love you too, Lucifer.”

I stand to run into his arms. Content to let myself fall knowing he isn’t going to let me fall. He wraps his arms around me tightly. I was wrong and I’m okay with that.

#lucifer imagine #lucifer smut #supernatural imagine #Supernatural smut

38 notes · View notes

verobatto · 3 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXXV

It was a love story from the very beginning

Loudly In Love

(14x10/14x11/14x12)

Hello my friends! After Purgatory we have a cute and dummy sweet Dean-bean in love with Castiel. As we'll see int this meta summary.

You can find the links to my metas from these episodes following this links: X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, and X.

There's something in my throat

At the beginning of episode 15x10 we can read a shop's named BERENS' KWICK TRAP.

This takes another symbology now, with the horrible ending of the show. In which we could say Berens settle a trap to the C*W and he gave us 15x18 Castiel's love confession anyway.

Before talking about Dean's mating tap dance, let's talk about Dean vomiting again. Because it's relevant again, due to the shitty ending and how C*W silenced him.

Throughout the whole season 15, we had vomits, gagging situations. And in this episode we had two important scenes related to this symbolism:

One was Dean literally vomiting, and the second was Dean datin: "I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY THROAT"

Gif credit @agusvedder

What had Dean stuck in his throat? Maybe the ILY TOO to Castiel that never happened. But writers gave it it's relevance by writing it like this.

Maybe they were trying to day we will never have it.

They silenced him, for real.

Baby Castiel and Color Symbolism

I wrote this in one of my metas...

Baby Sam was dressed with a yellow ascot. Accurate. And Baby Castiel was dressed in blue. Accurate too.

Bess was dressed, and pay attention to this..., She was in pink (happiness) green (Dean) and light blue (purity)... She said to Dean that Cas was looking at him with love. Right? The happiness and purity in Dean was telling him Castiel looks at him with love in his eyes! Now... Dean said Cas baby kept looking at him weird. And Sam (who knows) said JUST LIKE CAS DOES.

And then Castiel's eyes glowed and Dean said... I think he has something for you to Bess (symbolically representing Dean's happiness and purity) GOSH IT WAS PERFECT!

This is something too cute, because finally, they talked about the Destiel eye-love-making and the fan-service with some SAMMY KNOWS.

Gifset credit @subbydean

Another important reference was Garth. When he went to rescue the boys, Garth was playing Castiel's mirror. And when Garth breaks that lock (Just like Castiel will do in the incoming episode) But mostly because Dean's reaction to it was priceless!

DEAN: You're so strong! He's so strong!

This is, literally, what Dean thinks about Castiel everytime he's in BAMF mode.

Numbers

Just a brief travel through the repeated numbers in the narrative in this episode (you can find the extended version of this in the links I put in the top of this meta)

Basically, we had number 7, 5, 17 and 40 repeating in the dialogues and the visual narrative. Some examples of that are the following scenes...

The Beren' kwick trap had a poster naming "7 days per week", then this one...

Dean eating 7 pieces of cheese.

Biblically talking, number 7 is the perfect number, represents God and knowledge. And it talks about Chuck then, knowing Chuck is writing this. But it also is what it means KNOWLEDGE.

Now, number 5...

Also at Garth's house, the address said 75

In numerology talks about socialize, and self-knowledge in masculinity and sexuality... Hello Dean!

But number 5 also represents in Bible the grace God concedes to David to defeat Goliath, the giant, written on the first book of SAMUEL (yes, Samuel) chapter 17.

Gif credit @agusvedder

17 means HOPES,it's what TFW keeps alive go defeat Chuck.

Now, number 40...

GARTH: Yeah, better than I ever thought I’d get. I mean, hunting – I figured I’d be dead before I’m 40. You know, go out young and pretty. But now I’ve got a great wife, great kids. I guess...sometimes things work out.

Putting to a side these had been also Dean's old thoughts... writers really got me here...

40 years old, but 40 is a common biblical number that talks about self-knowledge and growth. It talks about CHANGES. So so accurate with Dean and that caterpillar/butterfly wall in episode 15x04.

I really thought back then we will have the huge change in Dean through his love confession to Castiel. I mean, we had a change in his own way to see himself, thanks to Castiel. Let's keep that as a consolation prize.

An ABO fic plus Mating Dance

This episode had an ABO fic hudden as it also had the learning lesson about MATING FOR LIFE.

The visual narrative and the dialogues pointed at it.

Garth hugging g Dean as he said: YOU SMELL GOOD, remember Garth is a werewolf, and he was smelling Dean's pheromones because this episode happened after Purgatory, Dean is facing the knowledge about his romantic love for the angel, and it shows.

The swan's statues in one of the rooms in Garth house. Swans are birds that mate for life, and males swans can mate with another males for life. Hello Destiel. (Also, the room where these statues were placed was color BLUE)

The tap dancing and the suggestive lyrics of 'Let's Misbehave' was perfectly settled as a mating dancing I'm which Dean invited Castiel (the lamp) to Misbehave with him. Showing us that there's not just sweet and innocent love in Dean's heart but also a passionate fire and a desire to make love with him. That's what the song says, and that's why Garth mentioned colonoscopy, as a medical tool to health control, because cavities are related to Colon Cancer.

The wolf puppy is back

And following the same topic about ABO, the scene in which Jack is back with his family was similar (if not the same) as a wolf pack behavior documental.

Dean checks on Jack's eyes and immediately after that he checks on his pack mate, Castiel, to see if Jack is Jack. Beautiful

Gifset credit @thelordoftherings

Bi!Dean and Tolstoy

There's more info in my links at the top, but let's see why Dean called himself "Tolstoy" in that bar in front of that greek goddess in episode 14x11.

Okay, we had the singer from 'Let's Misbehave' (Cole Porter) a queer man, and now we have Tolstoy, a bisexual man...

DEAN: I'm Tolstoy

So much love

I will only speak about this scene:

Gif credit @agusvedder

There's more analysis about the dialogue here related to the storyline about Chuck, Jack and TFW. But because these are the Destiel Chronicles, I know I have to talk about this particularly Destiel heart eyes scene.

Because Dean is loud, his eyes and his face, he is yelling how proud he feels about Castiel, but it also, the ways his eyes just lingered to him, full of love, it's perfect, and no one can tell me these are not two men in love.

Look at how Csstiel turns his face to him, with a small smile, trying to hide his joy for being praised by the man he loves and also for share this moment with him. And the feels are of an old married couple that still love each other so much.

I just wanted to finish this meta with this "Good Omens" like scene.

To Conclude:

Dean reaffirmed he is in love with Castiel, and he wants to spend his life with him, as a couple. He loves the angel romantically, and he also desires Castiel with passion.

We also had several confirmations of Bi!Dean and some fan service with Sammy knows.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2002 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season, here you have the links:

Vol. CXXI, CXXII, CXXIII, CXXIV.

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 15 meta

15 notes · View notes