#AND the comics and arkham games have done him so fucking dirty

[prognostik-a2]

thinking about him ( anarky )

[blackberd]

Always Trust a Madman with a Plan (Part 1 of 2)

It all started with a simple game, and Jervis Tetch never saw it coming.

Enjoy!

~~~

“Alright, Valeska,” the guard outside the secluded cell called out, clanking his nightstick against the metal door. “It’s your lucky day, you get to make a request.”

Leisurely laying in his cot, Jerome grinned as the door was unlocked and pulled open. The pudgy guard waited expectantly with a hand ready at his holster. Jerome, still lounging, lazily turned to him, a lock of ginger hair sweepingly fell onto his forehead.

“Don’t tell me it’s my birthday, Chubby,” he said, mockingly puzzled.

The guard, unimpressed, smiled dryly. “If you ain’t interested, there are plenty o’ other inmates dyin’ to be bumped up the wait-list.”

“Now, now, Chubby,” chastened Jerome, making a show of getting up and exaggerating a deep stretch. “Have a sense of humor. Forty hours per week in a place like this can really make ya forget how to take a joke, huh? Try living here!” He released a screeching cackle and patted the guard on the back once he reached him.

Not many Arkham inmates possessed the power of laying a single digit on any of the prison guards without being hurled to the floor for attempted assault. Jerome knew this, too, and was careful with the way he exploited his strengths. He knew how to get to people, how to make them talk; he couldn’t deny the seamless witty charm he’d perfected to a fault. It was all a matter of unveiling their motivations, what made them tick. One thing Jerome learned over the years was that there’s a bit of bad in every good, and the bad had a habit of always outweighing the good when given the right push.

Chubby, for instance, was a respectable long-time prison guard whose name was, in fact, not Chubby, but something Jerome had long replaced with a nickname more suitable to the man’s physical appearance. Through mere conversation over the weeks, Jerome came to find out about Chubby’s spiraling down debts and child support payments. With a few pretty words, he’d convinced Chubby to write his name at the top of the wait-list with the promise of being rewarded a hefty sum of green dollar bills. With charm came cleverness, and with cleverness came powerful friends, and Jerome sure as hell valued them. Guards were always payed, and their loyalty never ceased to grow. In short, Jerome got what he wanted in the end. Always.

Money, Jerome rolled his eyes at the word as Chubby ushered him down a miserable hallway. It’s always money with these folks. They’ll fight claw and fang for it and then gamble it all away in one night, and still they call me the crazy one. Hah!

Jerome worked it all out years ago, long before he started trading money for special favors. It was easy, laughably so. He started his very own not-so-under-the-table trust fund at Arkham Asylum, the first of its kind, and people would be heavily in the wrong to assume it held the traditional definition of the term. It was anything but.

‘Fund me if you trust me!’, was his comical campaign, a funny little play-on-words which actually meant: Fund me or else.

Fortunately, half the prison inmates were so brain dead that they mindlessly payed their dues from earned wages month after month in hopes to stay clear of Jerome’s radar. In a way, they were buying their safety, because Jerome was not the sort of man you wanted breathing down your neck. What’s worse was when he had one of his loyal cronies do it for him while he casually watched with a mouth full of buttered popcorn. Those who didn’t pay up were often made into spectacles to alert others of the dire consequences that came to those who ignored the fund. Jerome never gave second chances. He ruled with fear, never mercy.

‘You had it coming, Dietrich, you sly dog,’ Jerome thought to himself with a slimy grin.

Guards, of course, knew about the fund though they never interfered. Why should they? They each had the chance to earn a wad of extra money should Jerome ever wake up with a favor in mind. It was a dirty game in which Jerome was always winning, and he just loved to win.

Chubby led him to a confrontational room with nothing but a metal table and a single chair in the center. After being shackled to the table with handcuffs, Chubby left the room and Jerome sat in absolute silence. His grin never fell, and his fingers tapped in time to the catchy tune in his head.

“Jerome Valeska,” a voice came from the speakers.

“Present.”

“In front of you is an envelope. Inside, you will find a Request for Property. Do you understand?”

Annoyed, Jerome stared into the tinted black window where he knew people were observing him from.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to write it all down for me in plain, simple words.”

“Jerome,” says the voice, exasperated. “This is no time to be funny.”

“It never is,” Jerome grumbled to himself.

“Unseal the envelope, carefully read our conditions, and state your request. We urge you to take this seriously because requests that violate our conditions are immediately vetoed.”

Jerome stopped listening the second he grew bored. With a suppressed yawn, he ripped the envelope open and unfolded the form within. He didn’t bother reading it.

“Boring, boring, boring,” he sang under his breath as he scribbled down what he wanted by using two little words with a chained pen. Only after he finished signing his name at the bottom of the form did he mentally unmute the voice that had been calling to him.

“Jerome Valeska!” it bellowed angrily. “We told you to unseal, not rip! This leads to an automatic rejection!”

Jerome pushed the pen away and shrugged. “Rip, unseal, they’re both the same to me. You people know I have trouble understanding, don’t you? You said so yourselves. Should’ve drawn me a picture to follow or something.”

“Did you read the conditions?”

“Yes.”

A short pause.

“Are you telling the truth?”

“No.”

A faint ruckus came from the speakers and some frustrated man kept ordering: “Get him out of there. Just get him out of my face. Fucking wasting our time...”

Chubby was let back into the room with a key to unlock the cuffs from around Jerome’s wrists. Sorely rubbing at the tender skin, Jerome stood to flauntingly bow at the invisible audience behind the window.

“Always a pleasure doing business with you,” he said amiably and followed Chubby out into the hall.

“Shouldn’t have done that,” Chubby reprimanded. “Would’ve done ya good to listen to them. That form’s going straight to the trash. You messed up, Clown Boy.”

Jerome, unrestrained, walked alongside the guard without care, as though the two were close buddies. With a soft hum, he smiled to himself. It was small, and people who didn’t know him would mistake it for his scar, but this was the smile Jerome wore when he knew something others didn’t.

“On the contrary, my fat friend. I’d say this is all going according to plan.”

And it was, because Jerome had written more than just his request on that form. He’d initiated a simple offer to the head of Unit Staff, a man who gave the final say in whether or not a prisoner’s request was accepted. Jerome couldn’t remember his name and thus dubbed him ‘Curly’; a mocking nickname, given that the head of Unit Staff was a bald man with not a hair on his shiny, shiny head.

Jerome knew that the form would be dismissed, but he also knew that Curly wouldn’t refuse an offer from a man known for keeping his end of the bargain. Curly, thanks to his severe gambling addiction, would adhere to Jerome’s request without having it bonded to a set of nonsensical conditions. Hilariously, there was no need for Jerome to do any of this. He could’ve been civil and read the forty-something conditions, and he could’ve lied and said that he did, in fact, read them. His request might’ve been peculiar, but it was certainly a harmless one. It didn’t oppose a single health or safety violation, but he had a reputation to withhold, and he, of course, wanted powerful people to be his friends, such as Curly the Bald-Headed Chief.

A Request for Property was typically approved within a few weeks. The request itself wasn’t delivered to the requestee until much longer than that. When it came to Jerome Valeska, however, his request was delivered to his cell the very next morning before breakfast.

Upon unwrapping the newspaper packaging, his eyes lit up fervently just as the toothiest, wayward grin spread across his face from ear-to-ear.

“Well then, a very happy birthday to me!”

~~~

(To be continued )

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e5 Live blog

“The Martial Arts Tournament”

Alright I’m back to the regular live blog schedule and theres 2 things before we get started. 1) OH MY GOD DO-S IS THE EPISODE THUMBNAIL WE GET TO SEE ALL THE MONSTERS POPPING UP and 2) DOES THAT MEAN WE’LL SEE ZOMBIEMAN TRAILING MARTIAL GORILLA BECAUSE IF SO I sincerely apologize in advance yall must be aware by now how that’s going to go down on this blog. Anyway, as always I’m watching this from the perspective of someone who is caught up on both the manga and web comic. Los geht’s!

Yup the centipede movement is still creepy as hell. I saw people saying it was cgi last week which I didn’t catch right away, but regardless it’s done so well because it looks unnatural.

EYYYYY ok actually I kind don’t care about Metal Knight. What this episode is actually going to be is me screaming about all the monsters liKE RHINO WRESTLER AND PHOENIX MAN GUYS I LOVE THIS STUPID BIRD SO MUCH HECKING HECK. I’m gonna vomit like him and Do-S PLUS Garou vs Bat PLUS the other S Class heroes (Tatsumaki and Flashy Flash??) I am not physically mentally or emotionally prepared.

Yo this seems to be a trend with the monsters and me, I am evidently never prepared for the garish color schemes they get. Not mad just surprised every time?

hhhhhhhhhhhhh Ok the fight! I’m… I’m gonna try really hard to not pause every 2 seconds because I will inevitably have many words to say and screen grabs to take but that would be more than excessive sooooo ok here I go

Lol I failed immediately. I love that they’re going shot for shot with the fight. I’ve said it before, but I really think Murata captures movement and action sequences so well in the manga that if the anime were to try and deviate, it just wouldn’t be as good (especially with all the flack JC staff has been catching). Also I ADORE Metal Bat’s theme music when his fighting spirit comes out??? It’s so corny and triumphant and bad ass at once it fits him so well?? Ok wait a second I thought that after metal bat hit the manhole cover it ricocheted and came back at Garou what the heck??? That was such a cool move on Bat’s part and demonstrates he’s not just brute force, but tactical too. Why’d they leave that out??OH COME ON THEY DID WHAT THE HELL WHERE IS THIS??

This is actually my least favorite thing about season 2 biggest complaint what the fuck they did my boy dirty here. Oh thank god Zenko is here to quell my anger. Also Bat’s glowing eyes of murderous intent. Look at her. A legend.

Garou: “...haa?” Yup still love his voice actor. Perfection. Also Zenko. Just. Metal Bat and Zenko. Moshi moooshi? Just. This whole thing was almost perfect. So close. The fight felt so short, and it was because they cut out some good stuff. So close to perfection uhg

AH MY STUPID BIRD MAN he sounds exactly like what I wanted him to I’m so glad and HAH the fuckin hand I forgot about that. Side note, Anyone else play Arkham Asylum? The monster association logo looks like Scarecrow’s symbol in that game…. ANYWAY I need to take a moment to appreciate that little Phoenixman chuckle it was hella cute ok

Rh-Rhino Wrestler basically just said “Then Perish”

Oh Fuck

Oh God

Martial Gorilla  

Oh fuck

O H F UK

oh false alarm im ok my heart rate skyrocketed for nix Oh Maiko Plasma!! I love her voice wtf its cute? Phew ok the tournament. Wait that’s not giving me a break either because MAX AND SNEK M A X AND SN EK

I love him and his stupid hair omg. I’m REALLY hoping that the anime branching out and giving other characters more spotlight will help them grow in popularity a bit. Every single character in this series is underrated imo. Even the popular ones like geNOS LOOKIT HIM clapping for his sensei. Genos is baby boy I lov

“Dark Corporeal Fist?” Isn’t Void Fist just easier to say? really now. Oh My God Sourface chanting “I’m ok I’m ok I’m ok” is literally my daily Mood™. Damn look at Bang taking out some frustration I’d hate to be that monster. Me too my dude Smile Man.

WHOA I was NOT expecting that transition!! Heart! Hard! HIT! It’s the Monster Wife!! And She definitely looks more monstrous in color oof those eyes ❤❤

OH FUCK OH GOD WAIT MARTIAL GORILLA AGAIN DAMN IT I WISH I REMEMBERED EXACTLY WHEN Z SHOWS UP MY BLOOD PRESSURE CANT TAKE THIS ofuck ok false alarm again but I’m low key freaking out as they pan through all the monsters because the S Class is so close like we’re about to get Child Emperor, Flashy Flash, Pig God, Drive Knight, Darkshine and so on who got next to no screen time in season 1 its giving me anxiety im so pumped??

OH FUCK GUYS PUREBLOOD OH SHIT FUCK I FORGOT WE SEE HIM THIS EARLY CAUSE HIS DESIGN KEPT CHANGING he looks stupid with his hair behind his ears and his voice is NOT what I imagined and that manga panel redraw I did was way off with the color scheme but I don’t care I have read and re-read that fight countless times this monster just grew on me by default oh no UHG and look at Super S again it looks like they’re going panel for panel here with her and I’m not complaining

They keep hopping to the tournament but I don’t have much to say about it until the shit starts going down….. and like I’m so excited for that Snek and Max moment (you know the one) but until then I’m just so overwhelmed by all the other plotlines happening I don’t have much in the way of comments for it

I lied ok that eye twitch got me. But see then it cuts away too quickly and the episode is over. I get that there’s a lot happening at once but the tournament feels dragged out a bit. It’s different when you read the manga at your own pace but cmonnnnnnnnnnnnn gimme moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

HAH THANK YOU POST CREDIT STINGER YOU DELIVERED MY WISHES AND ZAKKOS IS SOME WEAK SAUCE.

NEXT WEEK GUYS ITS HAPPENING

Final thoughts. Um. I wish the Garou vs. Metal Bat was a tad longer just for that ONE moment. I’m still heartbroken over it. But otherwise? I’m so excited for next week, I can’t convey my excitement without being excessively obnoxious? this episode was pure hype. There are no buts about it- we are getting the S Class next week. I… think I’m going to leave work at noon to catch the episode right when it airs. I was saving that for an episode with Z but I don’t think I’ll be able to function at work if I stay. At this point every character is a fave and now we’re getting all of them, I feel so overloaded and we haven’t even seen anything yet. I don’t know what to even say about the future of these crap ass live blogs- they have no structure as it stands right now, but like they are going to devolve into just me screaming. Not even real words. just something like keyboard smashing and tears, probably. I’m so sorry, but anyway, as always thanks for reading, see yall next week assuming I survive

[buzzworddotie]

How do you solve a problem like the DCEU?

You know when you really, really want to love something? You delude yourself that maybe this time it will live up to your expectations, you forget about how it may have let you down before and go with absolute benefit of the doubt. You tell yourself that, sure there may have been some bumpy times and yes, you’ve been let down before but maybe, just maybe if you put your faith into that thing or that person again, this time they won’t disappoint. This time they will rekindle your love, your faith. This time you will walk away smiling, you will finally get to say that fair enough, the past happened but the past is the past, it’s changed now and you can really love it once more.

And then you actually watch Suicide Squad.

Don’t believe the hype

At this stage in the game, WB is fighting a losing battle with their DC Universe. Wonder Woman’s quality felt like a separate entity to the rest of the movies because it was actually good but outside of that faith has been lost.

It’s obvious that the company has been buying into the Marvel vs DC hype which has been their own downfall. This competitiveness was generated on social media, by the few hardcore, loyalist fans and the click-bait media, so why did WB feel like they had to buy into it?

It’s confusing on the outside to see a studio that once gave Christopher Nolan the reigns to develop a Batman trilogy that stood outside of your standard fodder would now get blind sighted by a race to top the Box Office, to be the Summer Blockbuster and to hold themselves to the standards of Marvel.

I have to wonder why are WB so concerned with fast tracking this DCEU, this copycat of the MCU, when they have 1 singular world that can work, that can be different, that can stand out and be developed?

A world that can offer depth, character development, heroes and villains, cross overs and neat, small stories that don’t need the end of the world to call the good guys to action?

In my opinion, WB should scrap their current concept of a DCEU, stop trying to fast track to what the MCU has, you’ve lost, it’s over, done.

Build a world, not a universe

I can’t admit to being a comic book person, it simply wasn’t a thing where I grew up but cartoons were and growing up I was a massive fan of the Batman Animated Series, like so many other people my age, it was EVERYTHING!

And while I didn’t consume the comics, I am aware of them and I am aware of many of the interesting stories which have evolved from them and I know there is a deep well of content right there to draw inspiration from.

So why are WB not able to crack the code? Why is it so hard for them?

The truth is, when you talk to most casual or even hardcore fans of DC there is one character that we all just love, one name that is DC.

Batman. And they have done him dirty.

Its time WB altered its focus, gets smaller and develop the Batman story on screen, or The Gotham World. The studio can create their standalone movies, don’t lose Wonder Woman- she’s the best you’ve got right now, but there is a wealth of a world that exists right there in Gotham.

There is so much canon when Batman is your seed to grow from, why do you think the Arkham games work so well? Seriously, all these epic, intelligent villains, all these incredible opportunities are ripe for character growth and for world building. 

I do think world building is an integral factor to build a solid fan base, it’s just the way media works now. Game of Thrones and the rise of TV and binge watching have solidified the importance of creating a universe, a world where people can escape to and get invested in. 

Dare to hope?

But maybe this is what DC/WB has in mind? Maybe this is why there is The Batman standalone movie, a film slated to star a younger Batman and a host of villains, a smaller detective focused story with its roots in the heart of the character.

Could WB have a success on their hands? I mean Matt Reeves is at the helm of this thing.

With so many let downs by the studio however, it’s hard not to imagine that even if The Batman is great WB will let us down again and treat this as a separate entity that doesn’t get to go anywhere, instead pulling their focus back to the Summer Blockbuster, figuring out some other half assed way to throw a bunch of under developed characters together to stop the Big Bad from shooting some kind of laser beam into to, or from, the sky and wreaking havoc on the world… Again.

WB and the DCEU need a major rethink, and it’s really not so hard, just understand your potential fan base, because we want you to be good.

They don’t have to target the kids who will drag their parents to the cinema, it doesn’t have to be shiny and epic. All they need to do is make good movies and develop a world that is smaller, more condensed, where the foes are not looking to wipe out the human race but are real bad guys: criminals and sociopaths who play mind games – because sometimes, that threat is more worrying.

It doesn’t have to be this hard

Let the MCU do their thing, they’re got it figured out now and they’ve mastered it, it’s their baby and it works for that universe. But WB you have the most beloved hero of all and some of the most impressive villains, stop over thinking this!

And god dammit WB, do not give me a tattooed Joker, just stop!

We don’t need to literally see ‘Damaged’ across his fucking forehead! He’s a crazy manipulator obsessed with Batman and being the yang to his ying, Nolan explained that perfectly.

Fuck it, while we’re at it, give me an older Joker to take on Affleck’s Batman and see if you can’t get Mark Hamill to take that role because holy shit, Mark Hamill bringing his Joker to the big screen?! Take my money!!

[moved-to--mysticandskepticmuses]

 beneath the cut is a copy paste version of harley’s timeline as i’ve sorted for this blog and my rp purposes - it is super choppy and unfinished, it was delivered over discord while i was doing like five other things and brain dead; this is just a placeholder of it until i can write up something more cohesive / established.

she just didn’t want, didn’t need any reminders of the way things had been before her father had been creamed by one of many fat cats in their expensive cars and their diamond pink rings.  wrong place, wrong time, her ASS.  she’d never been any under delusions her father had been a saint.  what she’d found when cleaning and packing to move from one shit hole to another had done nothing but clarify that some people in this world just had it coming.  SHE WANTED TO THINK SHE WAS DITCHING THE BOARD GAMES, THE BARBIES, THE WHATEVER ELSE HE’D GIVEN HER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T WANT TO KEEP THINGS BOUGHT WITH DIRTY MONEY…THE TRUTH WAS SHE JUST DIDN’T WANT ANYTHING AT ALL THAT WOULD REMIND HER OF THE FACT THAT HE’D BE MISSING FROM THIS YEAR’S CHRISTMAS DINNER.  AND EVERY ONE AFTER.

mmmhmokay so, she was a gymnast, like, super super super good, she was actually on the team to go to the olympics like a year or two after that too ugh im sorry all of this is going to be so fucking sporadic my brain is a mess

okay let me roll this back a pace

\so she grew up in a mostly normal two parent decent white collar life  her mom was kind of distant and off putting but eh  that's just the way it washer dad was an accountant / worked for the mob etc though she didn't find that out til later / it was mostly only suspicions no hard proof etc.they weren't rich they weren't poor she didn't have the best shit but she didn't go hungry either etc she did gymnastics and ballet and track and such she was really really good at gymnastics that ws where most of the free money and time went then her dad gets killed in a hit and run when she's like 12 ish her mom goes super stiff and just basically retreats from life as a whole, she gets super short tempered and any warmth there was just kinda fizzles out, she starts putting more and more pressure on harleen they don't have a nest egg, the mom didn't work, now she has to have an office job, they move to a shitty apartment in the wrong side of town, things are hard and rough and gritty at 14/15 harleen ends up on the team for the olympic gymnastics and blows out her right knee in the second event of the competition

needless to say she's a wreck and she's devastated and there goes everything she's ever worked for meanwhile her mom loses her shit and is like how am i supposed to pay for this how are we supposed to survive now because that was supposed to be their golden ticket so harleen kinda just has an inner mental breakdown and shuts down but just acts like it's no big deal its fine and just kind of self isolates and pushes herself with her recovery and therapy and ends up causing more damage in the long run but she wants to get better faster // which is all really moot because she's never going to be back to that level of competitiveness again and definitely not w/in that limited time frame that is the peak for gymanstics aka she was borderline too old by the time she made it to the olympics the first time so she pretty much ends up just having to rely on herself to take care of herself from that point on because her mom just basically likes to pretend she doesn't exist she throws herself into her schoolwork which -- she was always smart and liked books and school anyway but she really just sort of skimmed along with bare minimum because she was throwing herself into her gymnastics for so long she ends up graduating near the top of her high school class and between her gpa and her 'personal triumph / recovery' story whatever she ends up getting scholarships and grants for college she's always been very hyper sensitive / needy when it came to attention and praise / rewards she always had a lot of trouble with self-worth / needed external validation if she wasn't the best, or at the top of whatever she was doing, she doesn't feel like she's doing good enough / she's always always pushing herself

she finishes her degree early bc she just works her fucking ass off and ends up interning during her doctorate at arkham there's a lot of other misc shit in there of course i mean she has trouble with relationships she needs too much validation and she has too high of expectations for realistic anything she also keeps people at arms length bc she knows they're going to leave / end up disappointing her / end up being disappointed in her she's very obsessive / very orderly and proper with her life everything has its place she files her reports, everything is on schedule or ahead of it, everything is neat and clean, folded, put away, organized, so on because the more she can control it all the better she feels

like everything in her apartment is white or black everything is in cubbies and boxesher cabinet doors are glass etc. etc.neat, organized, tidy very sleek and modern her books are organized by size i mean just like epitome of obsessive she has schedules for everything she schedules time for reading and for her baths and studying and cooking and eating and she schedules the time she has to go out and socialize and and she's super fucking smart and she's really good at her job too, like, in the comics it's indicated that she successfully ( i mean as much as anybody can ever successfully treat) treats / rehabilitates two face and a couple others of the super whacked out bad guys -- at least temporarily -- during her time with them at arkham etc

SO then enters the joker and ???????he's literally the epitome of everything she isn't / everything she can't stand in anyone else ever?i mean he's literally chaos personified ok but he's this MYSTERY and he's chaotic and he's charming and he's enigmatic and he's SO FUCKING SMART even when he's trying to dumb himself down for the fun of it and he's just ? he's this huge fucking puzzle

and she becomes so obsessed with trying to figure it out trying to figure him outhow he works what made him this way who he is and he's so slippery and she gets so frustrated because what's real? what isn't? what's a game? what part is truth and what is lies?and she wants to figure him out / she wants to fix it / she wants to unravel it all and put it all back together

but he's just this tangled web of things that drive her crazy and it hits her obsessiveness so hard and he's so good at manipulation and playing people and he's so good at reading people and using people so he just knows how to push her buttons BUT this all ties back in because in the comics etc you remember that line from the blurb about the fat cats with their diamond pinky rings etc ?

at some point while he's luring her in etc.they're talking about things and i have always headcanoned that he did a lot of push and pull like hannibal lecter did with clarice like i'll show you mine if you show me yours type thing so he ends up learning stuff about her along the way too and one of their sessions, i figure it would be not too long before he convinces her to help him escape he's got a present for her too and it's the mob boss' pinky finger w/ the diamond ring, in the guy's embroidered handkerchief the one that killed her dad that he had killed or at least that's the implication

so yeah it's a really long explanation but that's the connection between that first blurb and the whole point of it being yeah he gives her the guy's pinky i headcanon that she wears that ring on her middle finger or thumb pretty much all the time after he's finally done with making her bonkers

[lookatthisdork]

Meditations of Jason Todd (Draft)

In the spirit of NaNoWriMo, I’ve made several attempts at drafting different fic ideas, which inevitably meant blocks of Batfam fanfic drabbles that don’t have any coherent plot, flow or continuity. They’re all basically unfit for internet consumption right now, except for this first attempt at writing in Jason’s voice. 

(Um, I’m still reading Pre-Crisis and 90s comics in my free-time, so the only canon Red Hood I have is his single animated movie. Since this is set significantly after that in his character arc, I’m not super confident when writing him. I have a problem writing characters I haven’t read the canon for, honestly.)

The problem with trading and selling drugs in a city like Gotham is that no matter how careful you were with recruitment, no matter how high your people’s morale and loyalty, you inevitably have to get your hands dirty to keep the money flowing. There are always incentives for both defectors and saboteurs to take pot shots at your stake. Offing a boss could mean a bigger piece of the pie for yourself, better job security (in the short-term, if your employment was tenuous), averting your boss throwing you under the bus for a job gone wrong. If the guy up top doesn’t maintain an aura of invulnerability, a willingness to crush any dissent under his boot, he quickly finds himself faced with with mutiny.

Dealing in drugs always ends in blood, one way or another. Jason was well aware of this. He was also aware of the fact that if you wanted to finance something really expensive quietly and quickly, drug money was the most sure-fire way of getting what you wanted.

(Actually, well-done white-collar fraud was the most sure-fire way, but if there was one thing he’d absorbed from watching Oracle, it was that fraud was never as secure as people made it out to be. It only took one individual with a computer and more skill than you to blow your operation to bits. Maybe it was old-fashioned, but at least drug-money was a physical object that couldn’t be “lost” with a few keystrokes.)

(Also, fraud was boring as a sole source of income. Too much time behind a screen, not enough explosions and punching people in the face.)

The Red Hood had been a damn-good drug lord, Jason liked to think. He’d run a tight ship, and the “severed heads in the duffel bag” shtick had quickly established just how out-of-their-league everyone else in the game was. Sure, he hadn’t stayed in business all that long for several good reasons (only one of which was Bruce), but extorting organized crime bosses was like riding a bicycle – really hard to forget. There was no practical reason for why he shouldn’t just recycle his old plan in a new city for some fast cash. Wasn’t like the shit-hole he was stuck in had anyone equipped to take him down.

Of course, striking fear into the hearts of criminals by decapitating their peers wasn’t the best strategy to use when your little brothers had front row seats to the carnage via helmet-cam.

He could just disable the cam for that part, of course. But the brats would definitely put two-and-two together and hatch some plot in response. An unnecessary headache when there was no Dick to foist them off on.

And...Jason wasn’t the best role-model in the world. He could admit to that. He used the phrase “little brothers” to refer to Tim and Damian very, very lightly in deference to the uncomfortable number of murder attempts among the three of them. Nowadays, he did regret all the stabbing and shooting and general dickery. Even though Damian was genetically engineered to be the most aggravating child on the planet and Tim kept stealing Jason’s alter-egos out from under him (unrepentantly now, the little shit). They were still better than uninterested-and-unhelpful-unless-I’m-sending-you-to-Arkham Dick and fucking Bruce. They didn’t deserve half the shit they were dealing with.

But his regret didn’t magically fix everything. There were 100-to-1 odds that neither kid saw Jason as anything more than “that one fuck-up that we don’t discuss in polite company.” Fair enough. Still, didn’t mean that the Red Hood had to live down to their expectations. He could do better – be the responsible adult, make sure they were fed and watered regularly, maybe (maybe) address their allotted emotional-expression-of-the-week.

Jason blamed his previously non-existent brotherly streak on Cassandra. She’d not only spoiled him by re-familiarizing him with friendly human contact, but she also subtly planted in his mind the idea that hey, you know who else would appreciate Jason’s company when Cassandra was busy? Tim and Damian. And you know who would benefit most from Jason’s unique perspective on life? Who needed a reprieve from Bruce and Dick and all of their frankly impossible expectations? Who could always use another person watching their backs, making sure they end up in an early grave?

(Honestly, Dick should watch Cass in Big Sister Mode and take notes.)

A soft huff of static came through the comm in his ear without warning, followed by the ridiculously-identifiable Damian’s click of the tongue. (Bruce was trying to train him out of doing it in costume so people wouldn’t catch on - with no success, of course.) “Todd, have your remaining neurons finally ceased to function? You’ve been standing outside the warehouse for five minutes. Are you ready or not?”

“Yeah, yeah, hold your horses,” he said as he checked the indicators for the explosives one last time. (Still all green, ready and able to wreck a certain someone’s next fiscal quarter.) “I was just reminiscing about the good old days, back when we all hated each other’s guts and I still blew up drug dens with the dealers inside instead of out. Ever miss those times?” he asked, heavy on the sarcasm.

Tim’s voice was dry as a desert, even with the slightly-tinny reception. “I miss them as much as I miss the knife that was embedded in my spleen.”

“Well, you have to admit, a knife in your spleen was probably the most exciting thing that happened to you that week, even if it was bad for your health long-term.”

“Clearly Todd’s mental dysfunction is worsening,” Damian said. As usual, his tone gave no indication if that was meant to be a joke or an insult.

Probably both, actually. Kid got a kick out of riling people who weren’t Dick up.

At least it was a joke clearly aimed to get a chuckle out of Tim instead of a joke at his expense. If there was one thing this months-long jaunt into the multiverse was doing, it was driving the boys together through their shared survival instinct and the fact that Jason deprived them of all baked goods whenever he had to break up their fights.

(Bribing his brothers with freshly-made cakes and brownies in exchange for good behavior was really the only reason they were three months into this shit-show with no major casualties.)

“Ain’t that a shame,” Jason replied. “It’ll just be you and Tim, stuck all alone in Not-Gotham. What a perfect opportunity for you two to bond.”

No,” both boys said at the same time.

Then the sound of Damian trying to land a hit on Tim (and failing judging from the lack of a pained grunt) filtered through Jason’s headpiece. Because Damian couldn’t stand to agree with Tim on anything for more than 10 seconds without ruining the moment.

Well, whatever. The brotherly-bond was a work in progress. “Stop fist-fighting so we can finish this,” he said. “I’ve got Falcone’s heroin wired up to an irresponsible amount of explosives, and I’d like to get our racket money before dawn.”

What I just wrote makes no sense out of context, but since this is the only thing I have written for this AU, I’ll just explain here:

This is from the “Jason-Tim-Damian get stuck in Flashpoint” AU I mentioned at some point, a few months into their impromptu stranding. How they got there isn’t super important, and I’m handwaving intervention from standard Earth not being able to get them back home in a timely manner. (Note: Bruce, Dick, Cass and everyone else aren’t trying really hard to get them back; it’s just not working for Reasons.) 

After thinking about these three in a strange Not-Gotham for a while, I came to the conclusion that they’d lay low and avoid drawing attention to themselves instead of trying to approach Thomas-Batman or Alt-Cyborg or someone else. Things might be different if Dick or Cass were the oldest sibling on the ground, but Jason’s much slower to trust, as are Tim and Damian. A virtual stranger that also happens to be Batman would be the last person Jason would trust with his and his brothers’ safety. 

Naturally, that means the guys need to find a source of income and a place to hole up. The former, Jason gets by extorting the local organized crime - charging money to sabotage competitors and charging money to not sabotage his employers. Lighter on the murder than his first return to Gotham, but Tim and Damian noticeably don’t bring that subject up anyway. I imagine they picked a spot that was an auxiliary batcave on their Earth and fix it up as a temporary base where Tim is trying to engineer something to send them back to their Earth (funded by Jason’s extortion racket). Damian is stuck as the odd-jobs kid, which he handles with as much patience as he can. (Hint: he’s not a very patient person.)

It would be a waste of the setting not to get the three of them involved with Thomas-Batman and possibly even the main plot of Flashpoint, so this scene would be a sort of in-between-scene prologue before the status-quo changes. I’m leaning towards either Red Hood crashing one of the Cyborg-Batman scenes because he needs tech only Cyborg has or one of the guys interrupting Martha-Joker’s last crime.

Of course, this premise requires a long-form fic, which I’ve never written before. This is all wild speculation, really. I’ll probably never write all of this out.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BUT IF I DO, you can count on Jason finding out that in a world with no Bruce and no Robin, he STILL ended up dead and resurrected. The multiverse just has it out for him, clearly.