#And Aragorn is pansexual

[meteors-lotr]

Elladan: Ada, I like men

Elrond: Okay?

Elrohir: I like men too!

Elrond: Is there anyone of you kids who like women?

Arwen: Well……

[actualalienfauna]

Some looks and some glitter. I am starting to blossom once more.

[canonically-a-genloser]

Guys so i just finished watching the lord of the rings amazon show right

why is Sauron. so damn hot

[spinningalbinoturtle]

The fellowship of the Kinsey scale aka LoTR characters ranked from most to least fruity

Btw this is a joke (well sort of) so don’t take any of my stereotype arguments too seriously. Although I do genuinely think most of these characters are gay.

1. Frodo- Frodo is gayest the character. He’s constantly described as queer, his deepest connection is with Sam and their relationship is incredibly romance coded. Plus he reads poetry all the time, wears his sparkly elvish top and that fall in Return of the King movie? Homosexual. Not to mention he has THE gay haircut. Man looks like a starbucks barista. Galadriel is his gay icon.

Sam- although more masculine than Frodo and also bi Sam has the second most Gay EnergyTM. He’s a bit overemotional he spends the entire series simping over Frodo and is obsessed with flowers and poetry. When his wife dies he leaves his kids to spend eternity with his husband and the elves. Gay behavior

Legolas- Legolas is a petty drama queen and I love that for him. Loves his dwarf husband. Just look at his hair-no straight man cares that much about their hair. Gay gay gay.

Gimli-a bear but in the dwarf way. Galadriel is also his gay icon. Loves his elf husband. Loves some sparkly diamonds and jewels. Lord of the GLITTERING CAVES you say? Sounds kinda fruity

Gandalf-he’s basically a minor god and thus does not conform to human ideas of sexuality and gender. Literally all the LGBTQIAs. Gandalf Big Naturals , Gandalf the Gay are just a few of this bitch’s many names.

Pippin-Y’all on this app have convinced me Pippin is not cis gender. I don’t know in what form trans, non binary, gender fluid? Honestly could be any one.

Merry-pansexual and very open about it. Just seems like a chill queer dude who smokes a ton of weed and is open to a relationship with anybody

Boromir-excessively emphasizes his straightness but has homoerotic battle moments and after battle showers with his comrades in Gondor. Very repressed bisexual

Aragorn- I think its funny if he’s the token straight but THE BIGGEST ALLY YOU WILL FIND. Literal king passes a bunch of laws enshrining LGBTQ rights cause all his friends are gay

Bonus

Faramir- is transfem and you can’t change my mind. Lesbian with her wife Eowyn. Has bi-to drag queen-to trans character arc.

Eowyn-butch lesbian horse girl and ya know what? We absolutely love her for it. After the war she has a buzzcut.

Bilbo-ace icon. I’M SORRY if you ship Bagginshield but I headcanon him as ace/aro. Hates the idea of sex but wanted kids so he adopted his gay little nephew.

[bralesscommie]

My Tolkien Headcanons

Silmarillion and Lotr characters

Elrond

Has PTSD, possibly c-PTSD from the Third Kinslaying, losing his parents and growing up with the people who took away his home

Has sensory issues, mostly a hard time with crowds and loud noises (also for PTSD reasons), but also really hates some textures

Pretty bad migraines from foresight and tension headaches from anxiety to the point where a couple of times a month he can't work

Is a workaholic

Is bisexual

He/they in an elf way

Isn't white, it's kind of hard to tell his exact race with his very mixed genetics

Maglor

Has anxiety from growing up in the chaotic house of Fëanor

Is depressed

Uses music as escapism

He/him but doesn't mind he/they

Is pretty fluid sexuality wise

Maedhros

C-PTSD from being chained to a mountain and also like everything else that's ever happened to him

Has depression

Chronic pain in his back and shoulder, as well as phantom pain in his amputated arm

Has some kind of personality disorder

Is gay

He/him

Eärendil

Has anxiety from and is traumatized by the escape from Gondolin

Was not ready to be a dad

Straight

He/him

Is definitely not white

Elwing

Is traumatized by the Second Kinslaying, possibly PTSD

Bi-curious

She/her, has thought about adding a they to her pronouns

Eowyn

Has anxiety and depression

Has anger issues but is learning healthy coping mechanisms

Has trauma from SA, and does her best to spread awareness

Enjoys being butch in everyday life, but will dress up feminine once in a while

Is bisexual

She/her

Is happy being poly, but doesn't mind being in monogamous relationships

Arwen

Had really bad anxiety after Celebrían sailed, but is doing much better, though she still has occasional tension headaches

Sensory issues like her dad

Also similarly to her dad, she is mixed

Sapphic, but is open to very few men

She/her

Aragorn

Pretty mentally stable, at least considering everyone else around him

Brown

Is bisexual with a preference for women

Does not care about his pronouns, but is cis in some weird way?

Legolas

Was born in an era with very few elflings, and as an only child hasn't had the opportunity to socialize at all

Rich whiteboy (gender neutral) privilege that they don't entirely recognize

Probably not neurotipical

Fluid sexuality, doesn't really like labels, but if asked persistantly will say he has a preference for men

He/she sometimes they

Bilbo

Has ADHD and anxiety

Struggles with ring addiction

Is acespec and gay

They/he

Sam

AuDHD

Has low self-esteem, imposter syndrome, and anxiety from his childhood with the Gaffer

Is brown

Pansexual

Officially he/they but prefers they/them

Frodo

Is autistic

Has chronic pain post quest

Has chronic fatigue post quest

Possibly transmasc, he/they or he/him

Gay

If you would like to see other characters, or more on some characters, my ask box is always open

[maeofthenoldor]

I am god and now am giving out sexualities to lotr charachters because no one can stop me. And I have insomnia and sleep deprived.

Frodo: A gay trans man and on the ace spectrum

Samwise: Bisexual and there's a reason I nickname him transwise gamgee. (samfro is t4t)

Pippin: Just a feral nonbinary guy (They/he) and is pansexual. he falls in love easily. Probalbly had a crush on everyone they met throughout the journey. (he even had a crush on tom bombadil because he liked his little gay songs)

Merry: Token straight out of the hobbits and is in love with eowyn, which is now his sexuality.... (I mean i dont blame him)

Boromir: Definitely not straight. I mean have you seen him? gay, absolutely gay

Aragorn: Straight but has questioned his gender many times.

Gandalf: The most aro/ace icon out there. Uses all pronouns. Will trans your gender and turn homophobes, transphobes and general bigots into toads. Move out of her way or you will be crushed by her heels.

Legolas: pretty fluid when it comes to gender, mostly uses he/they pronouns however he really doesn't mind anything else. He identifies as queer.

Gimli: he's a bear bisexual and will kill anyone who purposely misgenders another. He is dating his partner Legolas and has a lot of fun with them when they hunt down bigots.

Eowyn: She is bisexual and also loved merry (except they are both too scared to make the first move)

Faramir: Gandalf helped him transition when he was a child. All he wants is to be accepted by his father. Boromir loves that he has a brother. He is also unlabled.

Denethor: Repressed bisexual.

Arwen: I cant tell if shes straight or bi, but I’m leaning towards the latter

Elrond: The best dad in the world, but otherwise he is also straight.

Bilbo: The gay traumatized fun uncle. Obviously had a dwarf husband, but sadly is widowed. Now he sings his gay little songs and everyone adores him. mood tbh

Eomer: Straight but is extremely supportive of Gimli and Legolas that he cries whenever they do something sweet to one another. It gets worse when he's drunk.

Theodred: Hes not even really in the book but I need to spread my Boromir/Theodred rare pair ship. Hes bisexual obviously. 

Galadriel: Intersex, nonbinary (they/she) and has a hot trophy husband.

Celeborn: the trophy husband, a trans man and is queer. 

Saruman: He is the definition of the queer-coded villain. I mean his name is saurman of all colours and he literally transforms into a gay pride flag.

Tom Bombadil & Goldberry: They deserve to be grouped as one because they are the best representation of a queer platonic couple out there. Goals.

Rosie Cotton: Bi but doe sent really know it, but if she ever met Goldberry, she might then have her awakening.

last and not least we have Sauron himself, and anyone whose read the Silmarillion know exactly what his sexuality is. so go read it.

Anyway tell me your hcs if you have any, I would love to hear them.

[succiducus]

{uraz kaygılaroğlu, 34, agender, he/they/she} We are so glad to see you safe, ADVISOR ABDULLAH MACKENZIE of SCOTLAND! It’s dangerous out in the world these days, but I hear that you are CALCULATIVE and DEDICATED enough to handle it. Just don’t let your RECKLESSNESS bring you down! Stay on your guard, because with your secret being at risk for exposure, you wouldn’t want everyone to find out after the reckoning your heart is no longer in the rebellion.

b a s i c s //

birth name: murat abdullah mackenzie

nickname: abby

birthday: march 31st (aries)

occupation: royal advisor to the stuarts

orientation: demi-romantic / pansexual

status: single-ish

languages: english, scottish gaelic (native). persian, hindi, japanese (fluent). german, amharic, sanskrit (conversational).

character influences: brian kinney (queer as folk), link & ganondorf (tloz), aragorn (lotr), indra (the 100), uchiha madara (naruto).

tarot card: strength

p r o l o g u e //

crooked by nature, they have always had a knack for manipulation and persuasion - nurture worsened it. selfish; power-hungry; proud; a perfect canvas for the pursuits of the family that they'd been adopted into and admittedly for their own gain. freedom granted them invisibility and they remain clutched onto that to this day. they've slipped into and out of many empires, left impacts, bought loyalties but as chaotic as they are, they're not simpleminded. they make calculative decisions and take well thought out actions for the gain of themselves and the mackenzies. prepared, intuitive, controlled - sometimes they seem outwardly unapproachable, they led their army with a strong hand, charm their way through awkward situations, and work hard regardless of their reasonings for doing so. they have two faces and only those loyal to the mackenzies know which one is real. they will stop at nothing to attain what they want.

a c t i : l a l q i l a //

The Mughal Empire had always been, to him, a means to an end. After his discharge from the Scottish military, being reassigned to a new empire to help aid the rebellion in any way that he could, he thought that settling in Delhi was temporary, that he would not grow attached to the people, sights, and sounds that surrounded him on a daily basis, however, that was far from the case. Assuming a new identity, working his way through the ranks of their military, making connections and friendships (even if surface level), and getting acquainted with a culture that his birth parents had fallen in love with after leaving Scotland wasn't supposed to leave a mark on him, but it did. The Grand Memoriam; reconnecting with Cailean and his sisters; hearing the loud accents of the Scottish court in the dining hall; followed shortly by invasions, political fights, chaos, and watching his heart face death once more pushed Abdullah from a state of clarity into one of complete and utter exhaustion. He decided to resign from his position as commander, swear fealty to Claire Stuart, and return home. The Reckoning shook him far beyond exhaustion; it cemented his love for the empire in his heart.

t i m e s k i p //

Grief was not new to Abdullah. He had been mourning Scotland and his place within it for years before The Reckoning took the rulers of the Mughal Empire from him. However, the loss struck him harder than he thought it might. Grown accustomed to serving them, to his every thought encompassing their safety and safety of their empire, suddenly being without all of it made guilt trickle into the space between his ribs. He struggled with this for the majority of their journey home, tried his best to smile when he was supposed to smile; one might say that his years of pretending came in handy when asked if he was glad to be home by fellow clansmen and their family friends. It was interesting, he supposed, how being back on the moors of Scotland didn't remove the sting of having to leave India behind. With news of it's descent into chaos reaching him, the guilt of leaving it defenceless when he did, lingered. But, somewhere between training with his mother in the halls of Castle Stuart and sliding into bed next to the youngest Fergusson, his grief disappeared and was replaced by a warmth that was often threatened by the thought of what those he cared about most were doing behind the scenes. You see, even with the new reign among them, the rebels that he had once proudly stood with were strong, perhaps, even stronger than ever, and in the land under Stuart reign, whether by one monarch or by four, rebels careless enough to get caught were hung. Once a thought that made him chuckle, the reality of losing those he cared about to something they could choose to refrain from started to make him weary.

p r e s e n t d a y //

Exhausted by his days in the military and the monotony of daily life now that he's back home, when the opportunity to put his mind to use once more approached him, he took it. From Mughal Commander to Royal Advisor, Abdullah is settling into his position comfortably while still training under his mother's guidances to become Duke after her retirement - the most prominent issue? He's starting to see each Stuart as people and not monarchs, an issue for the once rebel still lurking under the surface. For now, he's keeping up appearances for the sake of his parents and lover, however, he's come to the realization that the exhaustion from years of pretending is finally catching up with him and if he had to be honest? He simply wished to wake up to the sun illuminating red hair, the loud purr of Mor, and the smell of grass fluttering in through the open window of their bedroom. He supposed, being so close to love and it's beauty had made him soft - he could no longer stomach the rebellion and what it had the potential to take from him.

c o n n e c t i o n s //

cordelia mackenzie (sister) - to be written

karolina mackenzie (sister) - to be written

cailean fergusson (soul-mate) - they have been caught in a dance of cat and mouse for decades, unable to shed their emotional attachment to one another. they fall apart, put distance between themselves, however the universe brings them back together, often stronger than the last time their souls tangled. once on the same side of the coin, they now faced the unique challenge of being on opposites. its led to countless arguments and skirting around the topic of the scottish monarchy yet underneath all of the anger and frustration, they make moves toward one another and for each other out of love, even if they cannot admit aloud quite yet.

[zisgarbage]

I feel like Shaniacs have a responsibility to not be as insane as our leader so I (a Shaniac) will drop my top 5 ships

5. McSpirk, you have to get all three of them

4. Aragorn and Arwen thanks for making me believe in love

3. Hannigram , gay people! <3

2. Laszlo and Nadja!! Pansexual vampires who’s really so in love you wouldn’t believe it, girlboss and malewife also MATCHING OUTFITS!!

1. Ineffable husbands, because look at them

[mrsvalbaker]

Immortal Aphrodite

Part I

Synopsis: a pansexual non binary therapist in New York is finally in a good place in their life, when they gets a client that might threaten all of that.

Dedicated to a very good friend if mine who I absolutely love.

Disclaimer: This story will be explicit as hell. This is a Trans!Female Timothée Chalamet x Reader love story.

____________________________________________

Salem's POV

It took me a long time to get where I am today. I'm not talking about getting my bachelors in Psychology at the University of Arkansas, and then my masters in counseling at Hunter College.  Those are just degrees and hours of studying and no social life for someone who doesn't have one anyway.

It took me a long time to get to where I am, struggling to discover that I'm not defined by one gender or the other, that I'm not attracted to people based off of what gender THEY identify as, working through a drinking problem that stemmed from mental and emotional abuse from my family even when they were a distance away. And then coming out to them so I could finally live my life, live it healthy and honest. Coming out to my family almost sent me back to the bottle, I had to call my sponsor or I didn't know if I'd make it.

It's safe to say they are no longer in my life, which makes me sad sometimes but not sad enough to return to that life. It took too long getting here to where I am, I remember when I finally legally changed my name, Salem Eden Coslett.  With that name I worked as an elementary school counselor while getting my masters degree, with that name I graduated with that very master's degree and my addiction program AND rented my Brooklyn brownstone apartment, and that is the name that's on the door of my office. An Office I made a safe place for not just the queer community but people of all communities. 

I still see a therapist of course, problems don't go away just because you're doing good and Dr. Valentine has been a big help. 

My life has been going so well, I have succulents and an Ivy I nurture, two Maine coons called Aragorn and Elrond that I adore. I'm in a book club and I found a really nice church that's open and accepting with a lesbian reverend. 

So tell me why I'm ready to jeopardize that and break the hippocratic oath? Tell me why I forgot how to breathe when my first time patient walks in looking as good as she smelled, strutting in all tall and elegant and elvish with long, spider legs and red lips? She wore stylishly vintage jeans from the early 90s that stayed up in her petite waist with the help of a Gucci belt, a black turtleneck that's tightness showed off her lean built, red two and half inch block heels that I saw in the window of Nordstroms, a single Cartier bracelet and small gold hoop earrings. Her rich chocolate curls were cut voguishly in the wolf style, and nothing really changed her pretty and intense features except for red lipstick and bb cream.

Nails as red as her lips and shoes were paired with many vintage rings, on long, dexterous fingers that lived on large hands. Hands I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from.

She has pretty diamond shaped head and very sharp features, gorgeously scissor sharp cheekbones and an aquiline nose that made her look beautifully noble, seductively hooded Hazel eyes with thick eyebrows that resided above them. Her lips are small but full and the Rouge on them kept making my eyes return to them.  Her beauty is svelte and Eastern European, she's the absolute New Yorker and I couldn't breathe. I don't remember inviting her to sit on my rattan wood daybed with a salmon-colored, velvet cushion. She moved my plethora of colorful cushions and pillows aside to sit and sink into the seatery. She looks so pretty there and I just imagined doing such depraved things to her and it made me feel horrible. I did invite her to sit and I offered her tea, but I'm in a trance so I just don't remember. 

I need to get myself together, I must look like an idiot just gawking at her. "The tea is really good." She said, her voice is raspy and deep but very soft. She looked me in the eye briefly before studying my appearance, I felt my heart race as I pushed up my glasses.

"Oh thank you it's um butterfly pea flower tea." I tapped my purple gel pen against my clipboard. 

"It's  sweet and flowery but earthy, it's so good."

It was cute how she described the tea, I smiled. "I'll make sure to make more for you next time, I like interesting tea flavors, like matcha." With patients I tend to let them take the reins of the conversation, make them feel comfortable and give them the feeling that they're in control of the direction of the conversation.

Hali Chalamet wasn't here to talk about mtea collection. 

"I usually prefer coffee but this tea…what sweetener was that?" Her knee was jiggling so fast, she was tapping her foot wildly, a telltale sign she's nervous.

I shifted in my seat as I watched her, she blushed under my gaze and it made my mind wander and I bit my bottom lip. "Agave syrup, it's a healthy alternative. "

"Like Tequila agave?"

I smirked. "Sort of."

"Trying to get me drunk, Salem?"

I had strict instructions for my patients to address me by my first name, the gender definity of Mr., Mrs., and Ms. Made me uncomfortable and me getting rid of a title made it easier for my patients to talk to me.

So when she said my name with a suggestion I should have been fine, especially when I've had patients actually hit on me before, there's a whole transference situation that can happen between therapist and patient.  Not with Hali, she had me completely effected.

"I see that you're a drama professor at Tisch school of Arts. You're so young to be one." I said it as a compliment with a smile.

I saw her perk up that, she was obviously very proud of that title and position.  "Yes, I did 4 years at NYU and got a B.A. in drama, and then a PhD in fine arts. I used to…" She cleared her throat and hugged her arms around herself, something must have been triggered.  "I was an actor on Broadway. ".

I rose my brows completely impressed, she does look familiar,  but I can't remember from where, I didn't see theatre that often despite my love for watching it. 

A frown appeared on her pretty mouth, I really shouldn't say that in my head. She's going through something horrible trip down memory lane and here I am admiring her.

"I was…it was when I was…Timothée…"

Sometimes saying your dead name can be triggering. I set aside my clipboard and approached her slowly. I stopped before her and crouched down to the ground, making sure my long skirt covered me. I looked up at Hali, it was a good position to all our her to know that I wasn't above her in anyway.

"Did you leave Broadway because of that? You don't have to talk about it today."

She looked down into my eyes, there was such a tenderness in them. "Thank you." She said softly, her eyes traveled down to my mouth and briefly to my covered chest. Did I imagine that?

"I need to go." She said in a quiet, gossamer of a tone.

I nodded, this happens a lot. Sometimes the first session doesn't go well, but even when I watched her walk out of the office, I know she opened up to me more than she knows.

After she left I started typing up notes and organizing the for her file. Once printed I put stickers on them that I associated with her, which I do with all my patients.

I had a date tonight with this perfectly nice guy, he's a veterinarian and open minded, he loves Sylvia Plath and listens to Harry Styles, favorite show is The Office and has only been in committed relationships.  He's a male feminist and he's very tall, 6'3, has green eyes, cute glasses, and curly dark hair. His name is Dr. Josh Rosenstein and he smells lovely, like dove soap and gentle cologne, and we met up at L'Wren on Brooklyn's fifth Avenue for drinks. It was a little bit of a struggle but as he ordered his glass of Beaujolais, and I ordered my mocktail of ginger beer and grapefruit juice, we talked about our favorite office episodes and our jobs. All I could think about while he was being perfectly polite was Hali staring at my lips.

Then we met each other at 1 or 8, this minimalist Japanese restaurant on Dekalb Avenue. It wasn't the best Japanese food I ever had, all show no substance. But Dr. Josh was nice, very nice. I felt like an awful human being thinking about Hali's rings on her hand.

And when I invited the good doctor inside and we fucked with me on top, I thought of her cock, it looked so big through her Jeans. I felt miserably guilty and horny, I needed to get my patient out of my head but all I could think about was how Josh wasn't Hali.

And after he left I was counting down to when I would see her again. 

Next Tuesday when I did, we just spoke about her favorite musicals and her favorite plays. She actually loves Rocky Horror Picture Show and I told her I have never seen it, my exposure to pop culture due to my religious upbringing was limited. 

Well Miss Hali was appalled and the next morning, I had found a ticket to an off Broadway production of it at the Manhattan theater in my mailbox. I shook my head with a smile, and yes I was totally going.

Technically I'm not doing anything wrong right? They're just a simple gift from a grateful patient, happens all the time. And I had no idea if she would even be there.

But on the off chance that she was…

I didn't wear a suit like with Josh, tonight I feel more femme than masculine. I did my makeup, painted lips a dark red, used a matte foundation and smokey eyes, black spiderweb fishnet stockings wrapped around my legs and went well with my purple, velvet button down dress. The sleeves are short and so is the hem, it showed a heavy amount of cleavage which was easy to do with my size.

I zipped up black, mid calf, wedge heel boots and sprayed on my Good fortune perfume.  I kept messing with my hair, I hoped I looked good enough, I hope I smel good enough, I just hope I'm enough. 

As I grabbed my purse and set up the place nice for my cat, I chastised myself. "Salem you're insane, she probably won't even be there."

With that I headed out and hailed a cab to the Manhattan theater. I arrived early so I could find my seat, that's when I saw her. Apparently she can get hotter.

That dress hardly left anything to the imagination, black and completely sheer, sides cut out and showing off long, smooth legs that end in designer black boots. The eyeliner was heavy and it was so sexy. Should I go over there? Or pretend not to see her? Oh my God.

"Are you here alone?" 

A pretty redhead in a babydoll dress appeared before me. She licked her lips and made it obvious she was checking me out with seductive brown eyes.

"Yes."

"Oh good." She smiled. "I'm Miranda, what's your name?"

"Salem." I wasn't interested and I should be, she's so pretty and smells good, but my eyes slid over to where Hali was– to find no Hali.

"Salem, there you are!"

A big smile graced my lips hearing the familiar voice that might as well be the chorus of angels singing. When did she get so close to me? And God she smells WAY better than Miranda. My eyes fell to her rosy nipples that were  visible through that sheer number.

"I-uh here I am!" 

She wrapped her lanky arms around my shapely waist. I couldn't breathe oh God, feeling her body against mine made me feel high. I had to mentally yet at myself to NOT Bury my face in her neck with a scent that could only be described as intoxicating. 

Miranda looked annoyed and just walked away, sadly Hali let go. "Why did you do that?" I asked her.

"Do what?" She asked simply before slowly eyeing me. "You look really cute outside of your work clothes, although you look cute on those too."

"Hali, remember-" I started to warn.

"I know, I know, hippocratic oath or whatever. " 

I folded my arms.

"I wish you wore your glasses."

I looked up at her perplexed and she just smirked then took my hand. "Come on, I'll take you to our seats."

"Hali, I don't know if this is appropriate…"

"It's just a show, and maybe some eats at Hill country barbecue market on West 26th street, afterwards of course not during. After all, you've never seen this before, and I'd hate for you to miss it."

"No, Hali. Please, listen, there is absolutely no way–" the overture of the music began and Hali shushed me. "It's beginning. "

I glared. "Don't ever shush me again, understand?"

Her Adam's apple bobbed and her hooded eyes fogged with something akin to lust.  

Was it me or did my patient just get turned on by me telling her what to do?

I'm fucked.

@sufferingstarlight @meetmyothersouls

[screampotato]

Still thinking over that poll about "who in the fellowship of the ring is more sexually experienced" and the fact Legolas had basically no votes and I'm sorry. Not only is he way older than any of the others - it's just, you cannot tell me that the elves are not the most pansexual polyamorous scandalous set of queer queens in Middle Earth. I simply do not believe that. I do not believe that all those singing parties in Mirkwood that ran away before anyone could see them were just singing. I mean sure, there would be the odd asexual elf who devoted their life to philosophy or astronomy or whatever and took no interest in the frolics of the rest, but they are absolutely the exception.

The elves are getting down to it in the glades and dells, I promise you. Now, Gandalf, who got a whole lot of votes? Asexual as heck. Aragorn? Altogether too high-minded, he was keeping Arwen thirsting until their wedding day and probably spending too much time solemnly contemplating the fate of Gondor after that for her liking. Boromir? A few girlfriends but nothing to write a sonnet about, honestly he's probably gay for Aragorn but too intimidated to say so. Dwarfs are very businesslike, I'm sure they get the job done but I'm also sure they've got their minds on their work. And I'm quite certain the hobbits are having their fun (not Frodo, a more aroace soul has never been known) but even at the height of their summer revels there's no way they could equal the elves.

You all know this to be true, don't fool yourselves.

[thepeonysbackup]

About the author and her oc insert!

Wow, you're actually reading this. Weird, didn't think anyone would care.

Authors name: Keiks or Keekee!♡

Age: 18 years old!♡

Gender:Fluid♡

Favorite tropes: One bed, enemies to lovers, annnnd smut w/ no plot♡

Favorite Genre: Horror♡

Favorite Hazbin Hotel villain: Valentino♡

Favorite Hazbin Hotel character: Husk♡

Favorite Helluva boss character: Blitzø♡

Favorite Helluva boss villain: Stella♡

Favorite Avatar character: Tsu'tey♡

Favorite Lotr character: Aragorn♡

Favorite Hobbit character: Bilbo♡

Favorite Inuyasha character: Miroku♡

Favorite Ninja Turtle: Donnatello♡

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Pfp/Oc

Pfp creator: thepeonysbackup

Oc name: Keira (Nickname: Spade by Al, Swe'Pea by Husk[Almost never happens])

Age: 25

Age of death: 18

Cause of death: Died in a fire that was lit in a costume party at a bar, crossfaded, she burned alive in front of her best friend as they threw more alcohol on her as if it would put it out.

Demon Type: Sinner born!

Gender: Cis!Female

Sex: Pansexual/Aro

Creature: Human-esqué lovebug, passion!sinner. (Her bugs appearance has yet to be seen by even Alastor.)

[elithilanor]

ooo for the character ask meme, gimme Haldir

As requested, mellon 😏 Thanks for the ask! It’s always fun when you pop up 🥰

1: sexuality headcanon

I agree that most elves are pansexual but I also hc him as pretty demisexual honestly.

2: otp

He interacts with so few canon characters 😂😭 I can kind of get with Aragorn and Haldir honestly? But I also think he a) wouldn’t leave Lórien for extended periods of time unless to Sail and b) I honestly think he wants to live with his partner forever, emphasis on the immortal forever.

Fanfic wise: I love them and my ofc. But I also have a WIP with them and a masc elf and I also love them, your honor.

3: brotp

Lmfao outside of his actual bros? Legolas. That ima fuck shit up look on his face at Helm’s Deep. Aces

4: notp

Thranduil x Haldir

I’ve seen it and I hate it

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Such a soft boi 🥰 So gentle internally and I just think he’s really going to enjoy Valinor when he gets there. Let the elf not fight any more and maybe grow a garden or teach the art of weapons vs their usage and practicality.

Bonus because I talk about soft Haldir all the time: I hc that he has a sweet tooth. Not like the super sickly sweet stuff (though he will partake in candies occasionally) but the like super fresh and ripe fruits and berries sweet. The give me the cute little tartlets sweet.

Extra bonus: he really likes to learn new things, especially gentle practice skills like weaving or dying. I think according to LACE that’s considered (at least for Ñoldo) more women’s or child-bearers work, but eh. He’s not a Ñoldo to me and I hc Silvan and Teleri very different than Ñoldo.

6: favorite line from this character

Movie: “The dwarf breathes so loud we could’ve shot him in the dark.” He’s just so fucking snarky and I love it. In the book, Legolas says that’s what Haldir said but in the movie it’s just my snarky boi.

Book: “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.” Like he’s very clearly grieving for the loss of the world but he’s still so kind and hopeful 😭

7: one way in which I relate to this character

I spend a lot of time trying to make people comfortable (for better or worse) and he seems to attempt to do so similarly in the book.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Sometimes I think I write too much of myself into Haldir because I spend a lot of time wishing in some ways I was like him (because gender why)

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Cinnamon roll

But also problematic fave because acab

[dynastymuses]

FULL NAME: aragorn

FANDOM: lord of the rings/rings of power

GENDER:cis male

PRONOUNS:he/him

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

WANTED DYNAMICS:arwen, legolas, anyone in the lord of the rings verse, oc/crossover friendly

*not a starter call

[dynastymusesarch]

FULL NAME: aragorn

FANDOM: lord of the rings/rings of power

GENDER:cis male

PRONOUNS:he/him

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

WANTED DYNAMICS:arwen, legolas, anyone in the lord of the rings verse, oc/crossover friendly

*not a starter call*

[dynastymusesarchive]

FULL NAME: aragorn

FANDOM: lord of the rings/rings of power

GENDER:cis male 

PRONOUNS:he/him 

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual 

WANTED DYNAMICS:arwen, legolas, anyone in the lord of the rings verse, oc/crossover friendly

[succiducus]

FULL NAVIGATION ~ BIO & CONNECTIONS ~ DIRECTORY

{uraz kaygılaroğlu, 33, genderfluid, he/they/she} We are so glad to see you safe, MILITARY COMMANDER ABDULLAH HASAN (MACKENZIE) of THE MUGHAL EMPIRE! It’s dangerous out in the world these days, but I hear that you are DETERMINED and COURAGEOUS enough to handle it. Just don’t let your UNETHICAL NATURE bring you down! Stay on your guard, because with your secret being at risk for exposure, you wouldn’t want everyone to find out [that you lied about your identity to get close to the rulers for your family].

b a s i c s //

birth name: murat abdullah mackenzie

alias: abdullah zahir hasan

birthday: march 31st (aries)

occupation: military commander

orientation: aromantic - pansexual - aplatonic

status: single

languages: english, scottish gaelic (native). persian, hindi, japanese (fluent). german, amharic, sanskrit (conversational). chinese (stop them before they start a war)

p e s o n a l i t y //

crooked by nature, they have always had a knack for manipulation and persuasion - nurture worsened it. selfish; power-hungry; proud; a perfect canvas for the pursuits of the family that they'd been adopted into and admittedly for their own gain. freedom granted them invisibility and they remain clutched onto that to this day. they've slipped into and out of many empires, left impacts, bought loyalties but as chaotic as they are, they're not simpleminded. they make calculative decisions and take well thought out actions for the gain of themselves and the mackenzies. prepared, intuitive, controlled - sometimes they seem outwardly unapproachable, they lead their army with a strong hand, charm their way through awkward situations, and work hard regardless of their reasonings for doing so. they have two faces and only those loyal to the mackenzies know which one is real. they will stop at nothing to attain what they want. character influences: brian kinney (queer as folk), link & ganondorf (tloz), aragorn (lotr), indra (the 100), uchiha madara (naruto).

c o n n e c t i o n s //

zehra mackenzie (sister) - to be written

karolina mackenzie (sister) - to be written

cailean fergusson (flirtation-ship?) - to be written