#Awake and Walking Podcast

[daytonicuconsulting]

Why Gradual ABCDEF Bundle Implementation Often Results in a Failure to Launch

“Let’s introduce the bundle gradually. We don’t want to overwhelm anyone. Let’s see what the team is willing to do. We can start with awakening and breathing trials, then tackle the rest once we have those down.”

This kind of conversation has echoed through medical organizations and clinical leadership teams for years.

It’s a logical approach, especially for those who are trying to change their ICU’s culture, and working to prioritize awakening and mobility, rather than just automatically sedating intubated patients.

This type of change must be strategic and safe.

But is ABCDEF Bundle implementation, done “one letter at a time” truly the safest and most effective pathway?

Since 2008, we’ve been “starting with Spontaneous Awakening Trials (SATs) and Spontaneous Breathing Trials (SBTs).”

We know that implementing SATs and SBTs significantly reduces ventilation time and improves survival rates compared to continuous sedation. The evidence is clear: These practices lead to fewer patient complications.

But are we doing the best we possibly can for our patients?

With that question in mind, consider these impactful statistics:

Mobilizing patients within 48 hours post-intubation can increase their chances of going home by 24%, reduce delirium duration by two days, and enhance cognitive function by 20% per year after discharge.

A lack of mobility in the ICU results in higher rates of readmission and mortality within the first year after discharge.

For every additional 10 minutes of mobility, there’s a corresponding 1.2-day reduction in length of hospital stay.

ICU mobility can decrease hospital readmission rates by a staggering 59%.

The inability to stand three months post-ICU discharge increases the risk of mortality by 4.2 times in the first year.

Mobility during mechanical ventilation, even with an endotracheal tube in place, is remarkably safe, with an adverse event rate of just 0.6%.

Given these proven benefits for both patient outcomes and cost savings, how prevalent is early mobility in the ICU?

And does starting “slow” with just awakening and breathing trials really pave the way for successful early mobility?

A German study, published in 2014, revealed that only 24% of ICU patients were mobilized out of bed, with a mere 8% of intubated patients receiving the same treatment.

The first ABCDEF Bundle rollout, published in 2019, showed high compliance for SATs and SBTs among more than 15,000 patients across 68 facilities, yet only 12% of patients got up on their feet.

Most recently, a 2025 report covering 135 ICUs across 54 countries found that less than 10% of intubated patients were mobilized.

And after training 13 ICU teams and connecting with many more worldwide, I believe that “starting slow” might actually be creating a “failure to launch.”

As my friend, Margaret Arnold, aptly put it, trying to ease into an early mobility program is akin to water-skiing with your skis stuck halfway in the water.

Because if you never fully commit and get on top of the water, you’ll quickly exhaust yourself from battling the resistance.

For those who haven’t been at the bedside conducting awakening trials, let me clarify this further.

Starting continuous sedation is like pulling the pin from a grenade, and in many ICUs, this practice gets perpetuated from shift to shift without being re-evaluated.

And as you can see in the image below, SATs and SBTs are found on the same page in publications and taught as interdependent, and as a result, sedation often isn’t revisited until ventilator settings are at a minimum and all signs of critical illness appear to have resolved.

Consequently, patients may remain restrained and sedated in bed for days, leading to a staggering 3,095% increased risk of delirium if sedation continues beyond seven days.

In any case, each day of delirium corresponds to a 10% increased risk of death.

And while there might be a daily on-and-off toggle for sedation, it rarely aims to maintain patients in a fully awake state that promotes autonomy, mobility, or even communication.

The Hard Truth of ABCDEF Bundle Implementation

Continuous sedation increases the risk of delirium by an alarming 226%.

So, when sedation is finally turned off for a SAT, patients often emerge anxious, restless, and even panicked.

The terrifying experiences they’ve endured while sedated come rushing back, and as a result, restraints may be applied, and sedation resumes – leading to devastating outcomes.

This sequence of events is one of the main reasons why ABCDEF Bundle implementation fails.

This is echoed in findings from the recent TEAM trial, and as I discussed in Episode 117 of my Walking Home From The ICU podcast, this trial identified sedation and agitation as the primary barriers to mobility after six days of sedation.

We must recognize that by clinging to the outdated practice of automatically sedating patients post-intubation, we inadvertently create obstacles to their mobility.

This exacerbates delirium and ICU-acquired weakness, complicating mobility efforts significantly.

All things considered, we must stop treating the ABCDEF Bundle as nothing more than a sequential checklist.

Instead, we must view it for what it is – a collection of evidence-based practices that are most effective at enhancing patient outcomes when performed together.

The truth is, practicing the Bundle letter by letter is simply not feasible, as each component is interconnected and reliant on at least two other elements. For example:

“A” for Assessing, Preventing, and Treating Pain

Sedation often restrains patients chemically, making it difficult for them to articulate or express their pain.

That being said, the “A” in ABCDEF Bundle flourishes when patients are awake, cognitively engaged, and empowered to communicate the severity, type, and location of their discomfort.

“C” for Choice of Sedation and Analgesia

Keeping patients awake while intubated is challenging if they’re not mobilized to address anxiety, pain, tube tolerance, and prevent or manage delirium.

As such, the “C” in ABCDEF Bundle prompts us to critically evaluate whether sedation is even necessary.

“D” for Assessing, Preventing, and Treating Delirium

Properly addressing delirium is impossible when patients are routinely given sedatives that can induce delirium, leaving them unable to mobilize or engage with family members.

Once delirium sets in, awakening trials become arduous as patients may exhibit confusion, impulsivity, and are 11.6 times more likely to self-extubate.

Their heightened anxiety can also lead to tachypnea, causing failed breathing trials.

“F” for Family Engagement

It’s tough for families to connect with and support patients who are chemically restrained, unresponsive, and unable to convey their needs.

But by avoiding sedation, we can mobilize patients promptly, thus preventing and treating delirium.

This, in turn, often reduces anxiety and agitation, protecting patients from the cycle of starting and resuming sedation.

And regardless of what perspective we choose to take on this issue, the fact of the matter is, if we cling to automatic sedation and continue with traditional approaches to SATs and SBTs, we will inevitably struggle with ABCDEF Bundle implementation.

If we delay the cessation of sedation until we evaluate for extubation, or treat SATs like vacations, breaks, interruptions, or holidays, we will find ourselves contending with issues like delirium and ICU-acquired weakness.

As a result of this lack of proper ABCDEF Bundle implementation, clinicians will say things like:

“Patients will self-extubate if we don’t sedate them.”

“Our patients are ‘too sick’ to be mobilized.”

“We don’t have enough staff for early mobility.”

To be fair, in the current ICU landscape, we may not have sufficient staff to mobilize every patient in a unit filled with delirious and weakened individuals.

Furthermore, we must acknowledge that keeping patients on ventilators and hospitalized for extended periods of time – only to later readmit them – places a burden on our resources, which are already stretched thin.

From my personal experience, and through the teams I’ve trained, I’ve observed that when health care teams prioritize keeping every patient awake and communicative shortly after intubation, they encounter far fewer challenges with agitation, as they do during traditional awakening trials.

Mobilizing patients within 12 to 24 hours of intubation enables them to move independently, follow commands, and engage meaningfully with their care teams.

What’s more, the incidence of delirium and ICU-acquired weakness significantly decreases, and staff often say things like, “Wow, this is so much easier. I really love this!”

With that in mind, I encourage you to listen to several episodes of my Walking Home From The ICU podcast, including:

Episode 178: The Power of Nursing Leadership to Revolutionize the ICU, which features assistant nurse manager, Andrea Silva, BSN, RN, who shares her journey toward revolutionizing care in her ICU.

Episode 185: The ICU Revolution at Mercy San Juan Medical Center Part 4, featuring nurses from the Mercy San Juan trauma ICU, who explain how keeping patients awake and mobile has impacted their career fulfillment and team dynamics.

Episode 38: “THEY’RE AWAKE?!?” and Episode 114: From the Eyes of a Travel Nurse, which both feature travel nurses who compare their workloads in Awake and Walking ICUs to that of “normal ICUs” during COVID-19.

The insights offered in these episodes confirm that preventing delirium and ICU-acquired weakness is far simpler than treating these issues after the fact, and what we do at the onset of critical illness profoundly influences subsequent outcomes and workload.

Ultimately, until we master the art of keeping patients awake and mobile early on, we will miss out on the joy, success, and ease that the ABCDEF Bundle can truly offer.

Do you need help with ABCDEF Bundle implementation? If you’re ready to create an Awake and Walking ICU, please don’t hesitate to book a free consultation.

[science-hoes]

Daylight: Month Two

Michael Robinavitch x Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical medical descriptions, mentions of child loss, Robby’s arm tats

Chapters: Month One, Month Two,Month Three, Month Four

Description: Robby and the reader enjoy domestic bliss and the annoyances of pregnancy, but a patient case that hits close to home wedges between them.

Michael Robinavitch Masterlist

—————

The thick smell of bacon lured you awake before your alarm clock ever went off. When you opened your eyes, darkness still blanketed the bedroom. No crack of light stretching between the blackout curtains just yet. Only the illumination of the alarm clock on Robby’s side of the bed gave you an indication of the time. 4:18am.

You already knew Robby was out of bed aside from the obvious aroma and sounds coming from the kitchen. He usually had you tucked into his side, your head resting on his shoulder, his arm snug around your waist. His absence left you feeling incomplete…but you had the whole bed to yourself. You sprawled your limbs out across the mattress, mirroring a starfish. Your eyes fell heavy again, content with a smile, ready to sleep for two more hours before your alarm.

But the bacon smelled so good.

Like a zombie, possessed by an unknown virus, you sat up in bed. Your legs swung off the mattress, not even taking a moment to stretch. Before you could evaluate the pros and cons of abandoning the empty bed that you rarely get to have to yourself, your feet padded across the wooden floor, shuffling until they hit the cold tile of the kitchen. Damn. The baby must really want some bacon.

In the low glow of the light above the stove, Robby was searing the final batch of bacon on a sizzling pan. Dressed in only gray sweatpants with his glasses perched on the sharp bridge of his nose. Black ink slithered around his biceps, Memento Mori and Amor Fati, his constant reminders of the fragility of life. His hands worked diligently, ridges of veins and tendons competing against each other as he flipped over the strips of bacon with a regular fork.

A splatter of burning fat made a beeline for his broad chest, landing on the bare skin.

“Ah, fuck.” He hissed, recoiling at the brand it made on his flesh.

You giggled, alerting him of your presence. “You know, you’re a hypocrite.” You teased.

Robby raised an eyebrow but smiled nonetheless at your presence. “How’s that?” He asked.

“Always grumbling about patients who put themselves in ridiculous situations that get them hurt.” You explained, then gestured towards him. “Yet here you are, cooking bacon with a fork and no shirt.”

Your boyfriend chuckled, returning his focus back to the crisping strips of meat in front of him. “Do as I say, not as I do.” He defended.

You walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, your hands clasping on his warm, toned abdomen. You peppered kisses on his back, catching the freckles with your lips. “Why are you up so early?” You asked.

Robby let out an exasperated sigh, already feeling the weight of his shift on his shoulders. “Quarterly chiefs meeting at six.” He answered.

Your cheek pressed against his spine as you moved your hands to his waist, massaging the skin there. “Couldn’t be a Zoom meeting?”

He chuckled insincerely. “Oh, no. Gloria likes to do her berating in person.” He said as he began to fish out the perfectly crispy strips and place them on the plate next to the stove.

“Humiliation kink?”

“I think it’s more of a voyeurism thing.”

Shared laughter filled the air, the most familiar sound of the kitchen in your home aside from the Eagles on vinyl and medical news podcasts.

Robby clicked off the stove after removing the final piece of bacon from the pan. “You know, I’m still not on board with the whole bacon thing.” He mumbled.

You shrugged, snatching a piece from the plate and taking a bite. “It’s only a problem if you undercook it. Did you?” You teased.

Just like the day you found out you were pregnant, he gave you an offended look. “Of course not. I don’t undercook my food. Ever.” He jabbed a finger softly at your shoulder.

“Besides. It’s what the baby wants. Not me. Who am I to say no?” You added.

Robby peered over his glasses to look you in the eyes. Gosh, you loved that stern, sexy professor glare he always gave you. “The baby should want eggs instead. Safer and good source of protein.” He lectured and pointed over to the plate of yellow fluff on the other counter that he made before you woke up.

Once you made eye contact with the scrambled eggs and its smell connected with your olfactory nerve, your mouth watered mid-bacon crunch, and not in the good way. Immediately, you sprinted to the bathroom, making it just in time to puke your guts out. Robby wasn’t far behind, and he pulled your hair out of your face as your body reeled from the very smell of eggs. It didn’t last for long, just a few seconds, and when the nausea subsided, you slouched back into his embrace.

“See. The baby is in charge.” You said with a small giggle, wiping the corner of your mouth with the sleeve of your (Robby’s) sweatshirt that you slept in.

Robby pressed a kiss to the back of your head, cradling you in his lap. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was as stubborn as his mom.” He teased, throwing in his guess at the baby’s gender.

You scoffed, reaching behind you to poke his stomach, making him flinch at the ticklish sensation. “She’s as stubborn as her dad.” You corrected, slating your guess as well.

He held you in his embrace for another moment before tilting your head to look up at him. His glasses were askew now, hair still in disarray from sleep. He traced his thumb across your cheek, wiping away a tear that formed while you threw up. “Are you gonna be okay to go to work by yourself?” He asked.

Your natural reaction would have been to roll your eyes at your boyfriend’s silly question. Of course you could get to work by yourself. You managed to do it every day before moving in with him several months ago. The drive was short, the parking garage was safe. Safe-ish anyway. But you could see the worry in his eyes. The same look he gave you every time that he knew he wasn’t going to be there to protect you. That look had been more frequent over the last month. But this was the first morning that he couldn’t take you to work with him.

You tilted your head into his touch, letting his hand hold your weight. “I’ll be fine. I’ll text when I leave here.” You promised.

“And when you get there.” He added.

A small laugh left your chest through your nose. “You’ll see me when I’m there.” You reminded him.

Robby pressed his bottom lip tightly against his top lip, his characteristic expression of stress. “I know. I just…if I’m with a patient. I want to know exactly when you’re safely inside.” He explained.

You wanted to joke that there was hardly a difference in crime rate between the inside and outside of the Pitt. But his eyes, fuck, those gorgeous, earthy brown eyes were a stargate to his vulnerability. Instead, you nodded. “Okay, I will.”

The laugh lines around his eyes deepened as his cheeks rose with a smile. “Thank you.” He said before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, his glasses bumping against your nasal bone as he did.

You scrunched your nose as you smiled into the kiss. “I just threw up. You still wanna kiss me?” You asked.

Robby chuckled and secured you tightly in his arms before standing up, eliciting snaps, crackles, and pops from his ancient joints. But he still moved with ease and strength as he carried you back to bed. “Unfortunately, my love, your vomit is not the worst thing to ever get in my mouth.” He replied.

You laughed as he delicately deposited your body onto the soft mattress. “Gross.” You deadpanned, snuggling back under the covers.

He sat on the edge of the bed, arranging the blankets to cocoon your frame. “When you’ve been an ER doc for twenty years, then you can come talk to me.” He warned, leaning over to give you one last kiss before rising.

You smirked as he turned to walk away. “Yeah, I’ll make sure to stop by your grave that day and tell you all about it.”

Robby stopped in his tracks, stunned, then he hunched over with an explosion of laughter. He turned and launched onto the bed, tackling you, carefully all the while, and pressed a scratchy kiss on your cheek. “Oh, I’ll be here for another twenty five years. Can’t get rid of me that easy.” Another kiss to your giggling mouth. “I’m gonna die in the Pitt anyway.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and your cheeks ached from smiling and his bearded kisses. “I thought you and Jack were gonna hold hands and jump off the roof together.” You teased.

Robby nodded. “Yep, that’s the plan.” He agreed.

“Then you’ll die in front of the Pitt. Not in the Pitt.”

An eye roll. “Grammar police.”

A smirk. “Actually, it’s semantics police.”

He rolled off your body and hopped off the bed. “Okay, that’s enough of you for one morning.” He joked, but turned as he made it to the doorway. “I’ll make you a smoothie and put it in the fridge to grab before you leave. Prenatal vitamins will be on the counter with a water bottle. And I’ll handle the eggs.” He said.

You craned your neck towards the door to catch a glimpse of his silhouette framed by the distant light of the kitchen. “You’re doing so much for me. I don’t know how to ever repay you.” You mused out loud.

Although you couldn’t see it in the darkness, you knew Robby smiled. “You’re giving me a baby. I’m forever indebted to you.” He countered. “Get some rest. Enjoy having the whole bed to yourself.” You could practically hear him wink before he walked back to the kitchen.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as you closed your eyes. You felt so loved, so happy, so…at peace.

…

The peace didn’t last for long. You had texted Robby the moment you walked through the doors of the Pitt, just like you promised. But you received no confirmation that he received it. He had been elbows deep in a gunshot victim from the moment he stepped out of that quarterly meeting. You could see him towering over the other providers in Trauma One, commanding the room with a respected power.

You leaned against one of the Hub desks, looking toward Dana. “They need any help in there?” You asked.

Dana shook her head, desk phone against her ear. “No, we’ll need you out here. MVC, pregnant woman coming in. They think she’s preeclampsic and in active labor.” She answered. “We’ll need Trauma Two.”

You nodded and hustled to the ambulance bay, snatching a yellow gown on your way. McKay met you outside and tied the back of your gown, then you tied hers. “Preeclampsia is some scary shit.” She murmured. “Happened to me with Harrison.”

“Is she full term?” You questioned, moving your ponytail out from the neck of the gown where it had been tucked in.

“They didn’t say. I already paged NICU.”

The sound of sirens loomed closer, and the rig turned the corner, thundering towards the bay. A swarm of more nurses and residents appeared to help unload the patient. Blood covered her hands and legs, and one arm draped over her swollen abdomen, bent out of shape.

As you moved along the gurney, heeding the less-than-stellar vitals being screamed in your ear, the woman reached out to you in the chaos.

“Please, save my baby. Please.” The woman on the gurney begged you, clutching your yellow gown with her bloodied hand, leaving its mark on the sheer material.

You didn’t know why she said it to you. Maybe because you were a woman. Maybe because you were around her age. Maybe she had a sixth sense and knew you were pregnant, too. A few months ago, you wouldn’t have given much thought to her words and proceeded with the most logical treatment. But the desperation in her voice struck a chord with you.

You followed the team into Trauma Two, and within seconds, Robby popped in from the adjacent room. McKay read out her vitals, and you placed the fetal heart monitor over her belly. Medicines were ordered to fix the blood pressure and stop the labor, but nothing seemed to work. The fetal heart rate was dropping, the woman began to have intense vaginal bleeding. Placental abruption was taking its course. Finally, a cold statement cut through the madness that sent you into a spiral:

“Start putting efforts towards the mother. She’s got a better chance.” The order came from Robby’s mouth.

You froze and stared at him. “No, she said she wants to save her baby.” You said.

Robby’s eyes met yours for just a moment, an indecipherable flicker in them, before continuing to work with his hands to stop the bleeding. “Her mental state was altered, she can’t make that decision.” He replied firmly.

In an incredibly rare stroke of defiance, you countered with: “Did you do a neuro eval?” Robby didn’t look at you and didn’t stop working. No answer. “No? That’s what I thought.”

Robby barked orders for more units of blood. The beeping of the fetal monitor began to drop lower and lower. “You need to back down. You are the resident.” He hissed.

The tension in the room was heavy, every other nurse and doctor eyeing each other as they all worked in tandem to stabilize the patient from Robby’s instruction. “She expressed her wishes to me. She told me what she wanted. She had the capacity to make the decision, and her autonomy should be-“ You continued.

But Robby cut you off with, “I don’t need a fucking lecture in bioethics. We are going to save who we can. This is not a cadaver lab. If you do not follow my explicit instructions, you will be reprimanded.”

His words had a sharpness that cut you deep. He had never used that tone with you before, especially in front of others. McKay finally stepped in between the two of you, hoping to get you a few steps away from each other. You decided to yield to his power, but there was an unmistakable sense of loss as the baby’s heartbeat dropped lower.

And lower.

And lower.

Until there was nothing.

…

After the patient stabilized and was sent upstairs for surgery, Robby took the woman’s husband to the family room and explained the situation. You shucked your PPE off and went to get a drink of water from the lounge.

Guilt hung in your chest as you remembered the woman’s plea before she lost consciousness. She was going to wake up without her baby. The nursery had likely been finished, the first round of toys and diapers stacked in a corner, blankets with a monogrammed name hanging over the crib.

Angry tears dripped down your cheeks. You heard the door of the family room close, muffled by the quiet of the doctors lounge. You watched through the small window and saw Robby rub the back of his neck anxiously. His eyes scanned the entire department, and they finally settled at the sight of you through the window. Your breath hitched, and suddenly you were a baby deer in the path of a lion.

Robby walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. You stood, shaking your head. “We’re not doing this right now.” You said.

He crossed his arms, blocking your path to the door. “Oh, yes ma’am, we are.” His voice was patronizing, and his eyes had a darkness to them that you didn’t recognize. “That little show in there? That won’t fly.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, taking a step closer to him. “‘That little show’ was advocating for the patient’s wishes. Same as a DNR.” You argued.

Robby huffed, almost a laugh. “A DNR is an official document made when a patient has the capacity to do so. That patient, who clearly did not have the mental capacity to make decisions, told only you. And even so, the baby was crashing too fast to even try and deliver.” He explained.

You felt more tears storm down your face. “She is going wake up without her baby.” You hissed.

He pulled his lips into a thin line. “Yes. But at least she is going to wake up.” He replied.

He just didn’t get it. If you had stayed any longer, you were going to start screaming words that you’d regret. You pushed past him and walked out of the lounge, swiping your tears away with the palm of your hand.

…

For the rest of the day, Robby tried to get you alone, but you turned your back to him and jumped into a patient case every time. It was only when the night shift began to trickle in that he was successful in cornering you.

“Are you ready to go home?” He asked, calm and collected like nothing happened.

You nodded. “Yeah. I’ll follow you.” You replied, reminding him that you drove separately.

After collecting your things from the lounge, you both headed to the parking garage. Even though the walk was silent, Robby kept a protective hand on your lower back as you crossed the street and again when you climbed the concrete stairs. You followed his navy Ford F150 all the way back to your home, refusing to turn the music on. You felt like you didn’t deserve the distraction.

Once home, you began to tidy the house. Doing anything to keep your mind and hands busy. Robby recognized it immediately. Although it wasn’t a harmful anxiety escape, he didn’t want you losing your mind. Without a word, he went back out to the garage, disappearing for a few moments and returned. He sat on the couch, watching you wipe down the coffee table.

“Will you sit down with me for a second?” He asked.

You didn’t look up. “I need to clean up.” You responded in a tone that would make a robot jealous.

Robby sighed and reached his hand out to grasp your forearm. “Please, love.” He begged.

You stopped moving. Still refusing to meet his gaze, you placed the microfiber towel down and moved toward him. He guided you into his lap, pressing your back against his chest. His breathing was warm on the nape of your neck as he laid his head to rest on your shoulder.

“I was scared today.” He whispered. “That woman. She’s the same age as you. She was pregnant. All I could see was you. Even though you were standing there next to me. I couldn’t separate you from her.”

You turned your head, pushing his head off your shoulder with your nose, so that you could look him in the eyes. “Scared?” You questioned.

“I was scared I couldn’t protect you. Scared I couldn’t protect our baby.” He said, and you could hear his voice tremble as he fought back tears. “Fuck, I still am scared. Her husband, he…he cried so much. Even when I told her that she was okay, he couldn’t stop saying how he should’ve been there to keep her and the baby safe…”

Robby’s face was burning red, and a single tear fell from his eyes. You reached up to place your hands on either side of his face. “Michael…” You pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Honey, you did everything right. I was wrong to challenge you like that. It got personal for me.” You confessed.

He shook his head, clenching his eyes shut as more tears fell. “You were a good patient advocate. I was being selfish. Maybe we could have saved the baby. I don’t know.”

You pressed your forehead against his, trying to ground him. “Don’t do that to yourself. You made the right judgement call, even considering the bioethics. If you’d listened to me, they would have both died.” You replied.

Robby didn’t make another attempt. He just sat in silence as his tears dried, holding you close to him. One of his large hands rubbed your belly, the baby bump still unnoticeable. “I love you.” He whispered. The words were not a punctuation to the hours-long argument. They were a sacred prayer.

You leaned into his embrace, nestling against the warmth his body radiated. “I love you more.” You replied, a small smile on your lips, knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist topping your answer.

Like a moth to a flame, he matched your mild smile and answered with, “I love you most.” Then he shifted, reaching his hand into the pocket of his navy hoodie.

You shook your head, brushing your nose against his in an Inuit kiss. “Can’t prove it.” You teased.

Robby removed his hand from his pocket and raised it near your face. A sparkle caught your eye, and you leaned away to inspect it. In his hand was a ring. Simple gold band with a large, oval cut diamond. “Wanna bet?” He said, the slyest smirk on his lips.

You couldn’t find the words to speak. Butterflies filled your stomach, surely invading your baby’s personal space. His name left your lips in a whisper.

“We live together. We’re having a baby. Might as well make it legally official.” He said.

“Michael, I-” Your voice trembled. “I want to. I really do. But I don’t want you to feel compelled to do this because of the baby. If you aren’t ready for this, then you don’t have to rush it.”

Robby chuckled, shaking his head. “This has been in my toolbox in the garage for four months.”

A small, hopeful smile found its way to your lips. “Really?” You breathed.

“I was waiting for our anniversary. But today, after everything that happened…I knew I couldn’t wait any longer.” He explained.

The pure joy bubbling in your chest stunned you into silence. Robby reached to his neck, starting to rub his nape anxiously. “I know I probably should have made it a little nicer. I could’ve changed out of scrubs first, maybe shower-”

His rambling was silenced when you threw your arms around his neck, squeezing tightly. He laughed and returned the gesture, standing up straight, your feet dangling in the air as he held you in his embrace.

“It’s perfect.” You whispered. “It’s us.”

Robby pulled back slightly, raising an eyebrow. “So that’s a yes?”

“It’s a ‘fucking finally’ yes.” You answered.

[vshiftsss]

I ALMOST SHIFTED - (SUCCESS STORY)

hello everyone!

my heart is still racing as i type this, but i just got the closest i’ve ever been to shifting completely. while awake! i think! so here’s what i did…

1) i laid down and listened to music.

this was the first way i was going to shift simply because i didn’t want to fall asleep, and i wanted to feel my surroundings change. this caused me to hyperfocus on the 3d, and then i got frustrated. so i gave up.

after that, i laid on my side and got on my phone LOL. i opened tumblr bc i saw that emma / @hrrtshape posted, and i was curious about it. it was a choose a pile post, and it was focused on your shifting/manifesting journey. i’ll link it here.

the pile i chose was the cake! and i don’t specifically remember what the blurb said, but it did motivate me to lay down and try again just cause. so i did!

2) i laid down (again) and listened to my shifting sub playlist.

i specifically listened to a void state subliminal (you can find that in my most recent ask! i’ll link that here) and laid on my side. my main focus this time was on my breathing. i let go of everything happening around me, any and all distractions both in my mind and outside my body. i also incorporated emma’s anti method into this as well!

at first, i just thought it was going to be the same as last time. but i kept at it! soon enough, i had moved on from simply being in my cr.

i’m not sure when the transition happened, but i was in a dream of some sort. i’m pretty sure i was me in my obx dr, and i was walking around a bedroom trying to plug in a record player. i was listening to my favorite dungeons and dragons podcast, and i remember humming / singing a specific part of dancing through life from wicked…

then i realized i was dreaming, even though i was awake. i know i didn’t shift fully at that point because while it did feel real, it felt almost like a lucid dream. but i knew i was awake because i could hear my breathing in the background of the dream.

once i realized i was “dreaming”, i thought to myself…

“am i in the void state?”

and considering how i couldn’t feel my body at all, couldn’t sense anything apart from the scene happening in front of me, and i knew i was still awake…i answered that question with a yes.

suddenly, the dream starts fading away. almost as if i was waking up. but instead of becoming aware of any reality, i was surrounded by nothingness.

so, i affirmed one time that i was in my outer banks dr.

before this, the subliminal i was listening to was the only thing i could focus on, but then that went away. it made this loud screeching sound, though i think that was because i leaned on my headphones too hard (happens when the noise cancelling feature is on, which it was).

then i hear wind blowing around my ears like i’m in the middle of a tornado, getting swept up off my feet and whisked away to another place.

i could still hear myself breathing, and i could hear how my breathing picked up out of panic. i knew what was happening, of course, but my ears are sensitive. the wind went away and came back, then it came back even louder, and i realized i wanted to get out.

it took a second, but i moved away, and suddenly i was back here. sitting like nothing just happened.

so fucking surreal dude. i can’t wait to do it again!

but it didn’t take much for me to get there, and it didn’t take much for me to almost shift the last time this exact thing happened.

sighhh i’m so close. we’re so close friends. we’re so close!!

also sorry if this is kinda messy i’m just writing thoughts down

END OF POST - HAPPY SHIFTING!

[wcters]

7 MINUTES OF CHRIS AND Y/N BEING CUTE (PLUS NICK AND MATT)

pairing: christopher sturniolo x fem!reader

word count: 2.4k

summary: you find a video of a series of clips that someone found of you and chris being cute together

warnings/contents: swearing, kissing, covid (yes, it has to be a warning because it is horrible and we all have trauma from it)

Your eyebrows lifted in surprise when you saw the title 7 minutes of Chris and Y/n being cute. You had just been scrolling on YouTube while sitting on the couch of the triplets house, waiting for the boys to be back from filming. You had started on Instagram, catching up on family and friends, and liking some posts that you were tagged in. You then moved to YouTube after getting bored and there was nothing new on your feed.

You never expected to see something like this besides the five to ten second clips on TikTok when you’re caught in the back of a video or posted on someone’s Snapchat story, but you were surprised and entertained that someone had gotten a whole seven minutes. You weren’t an influencer or content creator of any kind; you worked a menial job and only posted on Instagram and TikTok, and rarely featured in the boys’ videos. You knew you would be in the public eye when you and Chris started dating, but you didn’t expect your relationship to have a following.

You ended up clicking on it, interest taking over and the amount of views reeling you in. You wanted to see why the video was so popular . . . And maybe show it to Chris when he came home. The first thing that greeted you was an intro, and then the clips started. The first one was from a recent video where Nick, Matt, and Chris travelled to Texas for a Sam and Colby collab. You tagged along, wanting to go to a couple stores and also offered to help film for the duo’s video. The clip was where Nick decided to wake up you and Chris with Lemonade. You barely remembered that happened as you were so drowsy, and are still confused why the oldest brother thought it was so funny.

Nick walked towards the bed where you and Chris were laying down. Chris was on his back with his head facing the direction of the camera. You were on your stomach, head tucked into the boys neck as your arm was sprawled across his chest. Chris opted to sleep shirtless even though it was insanely cold in Texas while you were wearing a sweater and some spandex, your leg peeking out of the comforter. When you and Chris cuddled when you slept, he always ended up burning hot and you subconsciously slip some part of your body out of the covers.

“Chris do you want a sip?” Nick’s voice was heard as he tilted the bottle of lemonade towards you both. “Y/n?” You made a ‘hm’ sound and Chris lifted his head up, delirious but still making sure not to knock your head. He put it down once he saw his brother. He shuffled a little bit, turning his head. “Do you want a sip or no? Are you thirsty?” Nick continued, tilting the bottle even more? This time you had opened your eyes, looking up at your best friend. “Nick . . . What?” You questioned, confused. “Of what Nick?” Chris’s voice came from beside you, hoarse from sleep.

“Lemonade. Do you guys want some?” The oldest triplet continued. You curled more towards Chris and tightened your arms around him as you made a sound of annoyance. “Nick, I’m tired. Please.” You begged him, shoving your face into the crook of your boyfriends neck again. “Are you fucking stupid?” Your boyfriend asked, awake enough to realize what was happening and get angry. “Leave us alone.” Nick raised his hands in defense. “Alright, alright. It’s over here if you want it,” he spoke as he placed it down. “Go away.” You murmured as you fell back asleep, Chris turning towards you.

The next clip was the boys on the podcast. They were talking with Nate about childhood memories and growing up together in Boston. The camera flipped from Matt to Chris as he was doing something on his phone. “━━ I’m sorry Matt. Chris . . . what are you doing?” Nick interrupted the boy as he faced towards Chris. Chris lifted his head in surprise. “We’re literally doing a podcast. Who are you texting?” “Probably Y/n.” Nate guessed as the whole table started to laugh except for Chris. “No, I’m not.” He denied as he covered his face with his hands. “You totally were.” Matt argued. “Okay, fine, I was. It was about something important though so let’s drop it and get back to what we were talking about.” Chris shut the conversation down and placed his phone on the counter face up.

“Alright. Matt, what were you saying?” Nick turned to Matt. The topic was dropped but every once in a while Chris would look at his phone. The group must’ve been really into the podcast as no one noticed your car pull up, or the door opening and you walking in. You had placed the cases of Pepsi and Doctor Pepper on their counter before opening the Pepsi case, grabbing one, and heading upstairs. Nate was in the middle of talking about hockey when they heard your footsteps. Everyone swivelled their heads to see you walking into the room with a can of Pepsi. “Oh. My. God. Chris.” Nick gasped as he saw you. “Hi,” you waved, “sorry to interrupt.” “It’s no problem babe.” Chris responded, grabbing your body as you got close and put you in his lap.

“Did you call her all the way over here to bring you Pepsi?” Matt asked, clearly shocked. Chris blushed out of embarrassment in response. “You think he wouldn’t?” Nate butted in making everyone laugh. “I also got Doctor Pepper,” you shrugged, “I was also getting off work.” Your boyfriend pointed to you. “Like I said, it was important.” Nate was laughing as his best friends stared at their bother in shock. “Alright, I’m going to head out. The cases are downstairs. Anyone want one?” You asked, getting up off of Chris. There was a chorus of ‘no thank you’s’ from around the table. “Thank you.” Chris smiled at you as he grabbed your hand and kissed it. “Yeah, yeah. Have fun!” You waved as you headed downstairs.

The first time you had really been “revealed” to the fan base was on a livestream . . . And it was by accident. This clip was shorter than the rest, but it was probably the most popular if you had to guess. You had been dating Chris for awhile and this live was around the time when they started to get attention and more followers on their social media. It was back in their house in Boston. Nick had started a livestream for whatever reason and Matt had joined it after a couple minutes. You and Chris were watching a movie in his room so you didn’t participate ━━ and the fact that people didn’t even know about you. You didn’t even know it was happening, the boys didn’t text and warn you guys, so when you went downstairs with Chris to get some popcorn and drinks, both of your figures were shown in the background.

Nick and Matt didn’t even notice you guys until you appeared in front of them and were in the middle of opening the fridge. They looked to the chat to see if they saw you . . . And they definitely did. Not enough to identify you because all of the comments were asking who you were, but still enough to let people know Chris had a girlfriend. The two boys looked at each other before muting the live. It stayed on for a minute or two before they had ended it with a quick ‘goodbye’. Next thing you knew, #chrissturniologirlfriend was trending on your twitter with pictures of you and Chris from the live plastered over the tweets. That’s what led to the soft launch Instagram post and your presence being known, as well as you making your Instagram private for awhile.

A certain clip had you smiling and blushing like a little kid, remembering it happening and the whole trip. It was when went to Vermont for their annual family holiday and Chris had asked you to come along, as well as Nick and Matt. You said yes, but we’re nervous. I mean, you were going on your first trip with his parents? They ended up loving having you there, but you were scared shitless. Nick was holding the camera showing Matt feeding some of the Alpacas with Chris in the back.

You could see the brunette go slightly out of frame before he comes back, you trailing behind. “Come on,” he said to you, “just try it.” You playfully rolled your eyes before he passed you some of the feed and you held it out. You let out a noise of surprise as the alpaca started to eat it. “Oh my god.” You whispered, looking at it before pulling away. You were clueless to the camera showing you and Chris whispering while you were holding each others hand. “Do you want to do it again?” Your boyfriend asked you. “I think I’m alright.” You laughed. “Here’s a couple change to get some more food though.” He kissed your cheek as you passed him some coins from your pocket. “You’re the best,” he said before quickly kissing you and going back to the machines.

You never knew how they get their hands on them, but so many clips of Chris and Matt playing lacrosse ended up on your for you page and feed on Instagram. You didn’t even know those were on the internet except for Mary-Lou’s socials. There were so many edits of that clip of Chris taking his helmet off and them posing for a picture with all three of them and their mom, but you had yet to see this one. It was practically the same, all four lined up while their picture was getting taken. Then Mary-Lou made a ‘come here’ movement with her hand and you appeared on camera next to Chris. You remembered that moment and being so proud, but not video taped.

You posed for a couple pictures with them, then just you and the triplets. They were also your best friends, you even came to the game with Nick and Mary-Lou. You three had gossiped while watching the game and taken so many videos. Then, the two brothers moved away and Mary-Lou moved into frame with her phone up. It was just you and Chris posing this time, and it caught you licking your finger to get some of the leftover face paint that was a little messed up off his face. Chris had made a weird face but let you do it anyway. You would’ve slapped his hand away if he even tried. You think you said something along the lines of “you’ll thank me later.”

You had watched Larray after you had seen some of his vines on a vine compilation while YouTube was just filled with those. You were so excited ━━ and jealous ━━ when the twins got noticed and met up with Larray for the first time. You were even more excited when you met him. You had watched him for years, through all his phases, so you recognized when one of his videos popped up.

“Where would you want your first date?” Chris had asked Larray. They talked about Larray’s choice of waffle house before Chris said “I want to go to Topgolf.” “You want to hit balls with your girl?” Arrington replied, looking at Chris. “Well, I didn’t have a chance to take Y/n on a first date in LA, and we’ve only went with Matt and Nick, so I’d want to go to TopGolf with just her,” Chris explained, “our first date back in Boston was at some mini golf place. I’d like to take her to remind her of our first one . . . And because we both like TopGolf.” “That was so cute.”Larray chimed in, covering his mouth with his hand. “It’s one of the only times.” Matt joked which earned a slap from his brother. “That’s so not true.” He argued. “Either way, it’s well deserved. She’s amazing.” Larray praised you.

You remembered watching this with Chris when it came out and literally standing up in shock, hitting him when you got up. “You got more excited over Larray complementing you than me being cute and talking about us?” Chris asked in shock. “You think I wouldn’t?” He nodded at that. “Still upset, but that is true.”

The last clip was one of you and Chris like the rest . . . But also Nick and Matt. Nick had had a cold the last time you saw him, Matt, and Chris. He didn’t think it was anything but a cold, but it turned out it was COVID. Chris let you know as soon as they figured it out, and then Matt tested positive. You felt bad because they were stuck in the house for at least a week . . . And they’re not the best at cooking food for themselves, all they did was just order in or go out if you didn’t bring over some food or cook when you’re over there.

Since you weren’t over there, you figured you would go over and drop off some pre-made food and some other drinks and necessities like medicine, toilet paper, masks, tests, etc. You had had the weekend off so you had time to go over and help them. You didn’t know they were vlogging so you were surprised when you knocked on Chris’s door with a mask and a bowl of soup and he greeted you with a camera in your face. “Y/n? What are you doing here?” He asked you, tilting the camera down a bit. “I felt bad because you guys - no offence - eat like shit and thought you would want some homemade food.” You laughed, giving him the bowl as he put the camera down.

“Thanks. I miss your cooking and you over here. It’s so fucking boring.” He told you. “I’m sure you’ll survive. On the kitchen counter there’s some medicine, masks, tests, and some other stuff that you might run out of. If you need anything else.” He nodded. “I wish I could hug and kiss you but I’m sick and don’t want to get you sick.” “How am I going to survive?” You teased, smiling at him from under the mask. “I don’t know. Well, anyway, go save Nick and Matt too. I’m sure they’ll appreciate you.” Your boyfriend smiled at you as he waved and closed the door.

It was almost the exact same situation with Matt and Nick. Door opening with a camera in your face and surprise written in theirs. You had given them your soup and the same rundown you gave Chris. They said their ‘thank you’s’ and Nick promised to give you a hug. This was all caught on camera and added into the vlog, with an edit from Nick saying “you saved our lives.”

[w2soneshots]

Twins -W2S

words: 0.8k+

warnings: none.

summary: you and Harry take your twin babies to see a few of the other sidemen while they film a side cast.

notes: hello lovelies!! i haven’t done a dad!bog fic in a while so this was a nice wholesome one to write💞. i hope you’re all well and you enjoy!!!🤗✨ (request)

Me and Harry have been together since we were young. We got married and just over two years ago we began trying for a baby, little did we know we'd get two for the price of one.

Having twins was not something you plan but we were so excited and felt extremely lucky. We ended up with a baby boy and girl which we were both very pleased about. A mini me and a mini him.

Today we're taking them to see the boys while they film a side cast. They've been nagging Harry over when they were going to see me and the babies again so we thought it'd be a cute surprise.

"Good morning beautiful," my husband whispered just as my eyes fluttered open. I smiled groggily. "Morning, are the twins awake yet?" I asked. "Nope, surprisingly still sound asleep," he replied as he ran his fingers through my hair.

After just twenty minutes of peaceful bliss, the familiar sound of babbling could be heard from our monitor. "I'll get 'em, you get ready," Harry said quickly, before I could get out of bed. "Thank you," I muttered gratefully.

I got myself dressed, did my hair and even had time to apply a little bit of makeup, which was a rare occurrence nowadays.

I then helped Harry by feeding the twins so he could also get dressed. After a tiny struggle to get them both in their car seats we managed to leave the house just a few minutes late.

"They have no idea that the podcast is about to get a lot less boring," I stated as we drove. Harry's hand slipped into mine as he chuckled and the babies giggled in the backseats, completely unaware that they were about to see some of their favourite people.

When we parked, the both of us got out and took a baby each. I unclipped our daughter, Wren's carrier while Harry got our son, Colton.

"Hi boys," I greeted as I walked into the studio. "Hey- wait. y/n?!" Tobi took a double take. I smiled. "I thought it'd be fun if me and the twin's payed you a visit," I replied.

"You brought both of them! Yey!" JJ cheered as he jumped from his seat. "Well, I think it's a bit unethical to leave on at home," Harry stated with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah yeah, obviously," JJ scratched the back of his head before leaning down to get a better look at the two little cuties in the car seats.

Next, Josh walked into the room. "Hello Harry- oh! Hey!" He walked towards me quickly and we shared a friendly hug. "How've you been?" He asked politely. "I don't get this sort of treatment," Harry butted in. I breathed out a laugh before answering Josh, "I've been great, thank you."

The boys all sat down in their seats on the set and Harry tapped the place next to him. "Come join us, everyone loves when you're in vids," Tobi called cheerily.

Josh sat with Colton while Harry gently rocked a sound asleep Wren. They began the podcast and announced that I'd be joining for the first part of the video.

"So... y/n and Harry, you had a party for the twins first birthday last week," Josh began. "They had no fucking idea what was going on," Harry chuckled. "Oi! Don't swear," JJ whispered. "They're listening," he continued with a hushed voice, his hand pointing back and forth from each baby. I giggled at his seriousness.

"Are you ready to go babe?" I muttered in a high pitched voice as I clipped Colton into his seat. Both of the twins now ready for their nap. He gave me a gummy smile in return and I took that as a 'yes'.

"Catch up soon, yeah?" Tobi confirmed as as we shared a quick hug. "Of course. It was great to see you all," I replied with a warm smile.

Once both me and Harry returned home we put the babies down and then quietly tiptoed out of the dark room. "I never thought we'd get through the first few weeks of being parents, but I can't imagine life without them now," Harry whispered the sweet words as I shut the door.

"That was deep... I'm shocked, in a good way." I smiled longingly up at him then snaked my arms around his neck. He waited just a moment before leaning in. He began pressing soft kisses on my jaw and he continued down to the nape of my neck. "Harry..." I swallowed, my eyes fluttering closed.

He disconnected his lips for a moment before reattaching them to mine. "Mmm..." I moaned into the kiss before pulling away. "Bedroom. Now," I mumbled. He chuckled. "Of course my love," he said in a cheeky voice before we both ran across the hall.

[kirbysdreamlandd]

Calm to my chaos

Hamzah X Y/N (GN)

SFW, Fluff, Hamzah X Reader

This was an Anonymous request :)

It was so fun and enjoyable to write, I sincerely hope you like it!!! (Requests open atm!)

You toss the last pillow onto the freshly made bed and step back, hands on your hips. The room looks better now; everything in its place, laundry done, clothes not piled up and tossed on the bed by Hamzah in his usual rush to “find something more comfortable.”

Your eyes drift to the nightstand, cluttered with a mix of strange AI-generated photos of Hamzah and a collection of Polaroids he’d gifted you.

One, in particular, stands out to you: a snapshot Claire had taken of the two of you cuddled on the couch. His head rested on your shoulder, and you were wearing his worn Canada hat, both of you sticky and asleep after accidentally spilling cans of Celsius on each other.

That night had started as a drunken dare to stay awake until sunrise, fueled by way too many energy drinks and the leftover buzz of the day’s events.

Neither of you made it, crashing in a heap before midnight. The morning was a blur of “peach vibe”scented regret, waiting for your clothes to finish washing in the laundry room. And that’s where it happened: Hamzah confessed his feelings as you sat perched on the vibrating machine, quietly wondering if the masturbation theory really was true.

“Celsi US ❤️” was scrawled at the bottom of the Polaroid in Hamzah’s messy handwriting. A painfully corny wordplay only he could come up with, that somehow stirred a cheesy smile in you every time.

Your thoughts wander to him. He’d been on the go all day, between filming the OOC podcast and inhaling the dinner you’d carefully plated for him after work like a perfect 1950s housewife. Then, instead of unwinding for the evening, he’d smothered you on the couch for two minutes before disappearing back into his office.

The Christmas project they were working on consumed so much of his time, leaving you with nothing but the lonely holiday breaks you had hoped to spend with him.

You grab a stray water glass from the nightstand and head toward the office. The hallway is quiet except for the faint clicking of a keyboard and an occasional muttered word—probably him cursing over Adobe Premiere again.

You push the door open gently, pausing for a moment to scan the room, almost as if you expected him to be anywhere but sitting in front of his computer.

You make your way to the water dispenser, the one you always reminded Hamzah to refill, yet there it was again: stagnant water sitting at the bottom that for some strange reason Hamzah was still adamant about drinking.

His hoodie is bunched up around his elbows, his finger rapidly tapping on the table while staring at a loading screen. His lips pursed in concentration, he seemed so lost in whatever he was doing that you almost felt guilty for even thinking about interrupting his trance.

You reached a hand on the dispenser.

The object had become a strange kind of gateway for both of you. You, of course, would never drink from it given it was clearly Hamzah’s idea to buy it in the first place. So, whenever you walked into the office and reached for the dispenser, Hamzah knew instantly you were after him and not the water.

He slightly turned his head, a half-smile quickly tugging at the corner of his lips.

He leaned back in his chair, a loud, almost exaggerated groan escaping his mouth as he stretched his arms over his head, his body slightly spasming from the effort.

The movement was dramatic, the kind of over-the-top action that only Hamzah could pull off.

He looked at you, then at your glass of water.

“Baby,” he called, his expression a mix of confusion and amusement. “What’s up? Want some water?”

He joked, a hand patting the water dispenser with a grin that was equal parts teasing and fond.

“No thanks, I’ll pass on the ancient waters that rest in this sacred device.” you quipped back, your hand now resting on the dispenser as well, locking eyes with him in a silent stare-off.

He chuckled before getting distracted by a noise coming through his headphones.

“You really should try it though.” he continued, his eyes still locked on the bright screen, a cocky smile on his lips you knew was directed to you. “How do you think I got so beautiful?”

You rolled your eyes, a disappointed yet frustrated scoff escaping your lips as you set the glass down on the table, hoping the loud clink would catch his attention. But of course, his headphones were on now, completely blocking out the world around him.

He was usually the affectionate type, even when you were the one working. He loved sitting next to you, his hand casually resting on your thigh as he scrolled through his phone, chuckling at the silly videos he stumbled upon. Sometimes he’d even comment on your work, assisted you with technical problems or just gave you a smile or nod of approval after you turned to him for feedback.

But when it came to his work, he always felt a little distant. Hours could pass with him hunched over his desk, his face and Martin’s flashing repeatedly on the screen as he clipped, trimmed, and adjusted footage.

The only time he emerged from his bubble was for the occasional bathroom break or to refill his water bottle before diving right back in.

Sure, he paid attention to you, but only if you sought it out. You had to knock, call his name, or physically step into the room to remind him you were there. Otherwise, he’d remain buried in his tasks, entirely absorbed in his world. And no matter how many times you pulled him out of it, he never stopped himself.

You leaned against the wooden rack, watching him work. His head tilted slightly, the tip of his tongue resting on his top teeth as he dragged the cursor across the screen with precision. As much as you hated him for overworking himself so much, you couldn’t help but find his focused expressions incredibly cute.

You let out a quiet sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself. The faint clatter of his keyboard softened, and when you glanced back at him, you noticed Hamzah’s gaze flick toward you. He paused his work, tilting his head slightly as if to catch your attention. A small, playful pout formed on his lips as he leaned back in his chair, his eyes wide and pleading like a puppy’s. He pursed his lips dramatically, making a soft “mwah” sound as he leaned forward, signaling for a kiss.

“Seriously?” You leaned, folding your arms even more against your chest.

His expression didn’t falter. He kept the same exaggerated pout on his lips, his big, expectant eyes locked on yours. Slowly, his headphones slipped off his head, coming to rest around his neck, his body leaning slightly toward you as if silently urging you closer.

You rolled your eyes, but the faintest smile tugged at your lips. “Okay.” you muttered, leaning down and brushing your lips against his in a quick, playful kiss.

Pulling back from him, you caught the sight of a flustered smile tugging at the corners of his lips, his cheeks faintly pink under the soft glow of the monitor.

Sliding his headphones back over his ears, he muttered a quiet, almost shy, “Love you” the words slipping out like second nature. You didn’t miss the way his tongue darted out to subtly lick his lips, a small, involuntary gesture that made you melt.

“Love you too.” you replied under your breath, knowing he wouldn’t hear you as he was already absorbed in his editing.

You made your way to the messy bed across the room, a sigh escaping you as you took in the scene. A couple of items of clothing lay haphazardly across the mattress; an old hoodie, a pair of socks half-bunched together like they’d been tossed aside by a messy boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to clean up.

Hamzah didn’t look back, already focused on his work again, but the flustered smile lingered on his face, and you couldn’t help but feel a little proud that you’d managed to break through his usual focused working state.

You instinctively folded and placed the clothes on the edge of the bed before exhaustedly plopping yourself onto your clean side of the bed.

As you settled under the blanket, you watched him for a while longer, a small smile tugging at your lips. You loved staring at your boyfriend when he wasn’t noticing, when he was lost in his world, unaware of how intently you observed him. There was something comforting about it, the way he existed so naturally, so unguarded, even in the midst of his chaotic work.

His resting face was soft, the tension that usually marked his features fading away when he was absorbed in editing. His dark eyes darted quickly between the screen and the clips, a mix of concentration and effortless focus.

You would tease him about it often, the way his mouth was usually slightly open when he was concentrating on something. But in reality, you found it incredibly endearing.

Eventually, the rhythmic sound of his typing, the small heater emanating warm air around the room and the coziness of the blanket pulled you under, your eyes growing heavy as you drifted off to sleep, feeling completely at ease in the little space you both shared.

Rousing you up from your slumber was the faint sensation of the bed shifting.

Then came the warmth of Hamzah’s body pressed against yours, his arms wrapping around you as he cuddled up beside you.

His face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his breathing soft but steady. “I think I need a break…” he mumbled, his voice thick with exhaustion and his jaw hitting your collarbone as he spoke.

You didn’t stir much, still half-dreaming, but you could feel the shift in the atmosphere. His usual energetic presence, always so absorbed in his work, seemed to fade as he sought the comfort of your closeness.

You let out a soft hum, your voice still heavy with sleep. “Finally realizing you’re not a robot?” you teased lightly, though your tone was warm, not sharp.

Hamzah chuckled weakly, his breath tickling your neck. “Maybe. Or maybe I just needed you to remind me.” he murmured, his words soft and unhurried.

You smiled faintly, your hand coming to rest over his where it still lingered on your abdomen. “That’s what I’m here for. To make sure you don’t completely burn out.”

He shuffled even closer, his face nestled in your passion fruit-scented hair. It was a scent he’d grown to adore, one that always brought a cheesy smile to his lips. You couldn’t help but think back to the day he bought that shampoo for you, completely clueless about hair products but determined to help when you had run out. He’d simply picked one that smelled like your favorite fruit, hoping it would please you.

Even though you’d stocked up on your preferred brand soon after, you still used the one he bought every now and then. You loved the way it made his face light up when he caught the scent, a subtle reminder of the effort he put in, even in the smallest things.

Hamzah let out a soft hum, the warmth of his breath brushing against your hair. “Yum, passion fruit.” he mumbled sleepily, his voice muffled but laced with a smile.

You chuckled, your stomach rising and falling, causing his and your hand to bounce slightly with the motion.

“I’m glad you like that shampoo,” he continued, his voice teasing but warm. “It was either that, or the one with Bluey on the packaging.”

You laughed, turning your head just enough to catch his sleepy grin. You turned back, gently shaking your head in an annoyed but amused manner.

“You say that like you wouldn’t have bought that one for yourself.” you teased, grinning at the thought.

“No” he exclaimed with mock offense, his tone exaggerated and dramatic. “You would never let me.”

His head shifted, his nose brushing against your shoulder as he adjusted closer. The exaggerated pout on his lips melted away, replaced by soft, tender kisses planted along your back. Each one was unhurried, a quiet apology for his earlier teasing and an expression of the affection he couldn’t easily put into words. You interlocked your fingers with his, still resting on your stomach.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Hamzah murmured, his breath warm against your skin. You smiled softly, gently squeezing his hand into yours.

“And not just because you clean up my mess.” he added.

You scoffed playfully, lightly slapping the back of his hand.

He paused for a moment, his breathing shifting as he seemed to collect his thoughts.

“Actually, it is because of that.” he continued, his hand moving away from your stomach and slowly drifting up your torso. “You clean up my mess. Whether it’s in my house or in my mind.”

His voice was firm now, his words no longer just a casual remark but a deep, genuine expression as he leaned in closer.

His arm wrapped around you like a safety belt, a hand resting softly on your heart, making you feel if his words were reaching deep inside you.

“You’re the calm to my chaos.” His words hung between you, and you could feel your heartbeat slow as it was enveloped by the warmth of Hamzah’s hand covering your chest.

You rested your head against his, your fingers gently tracing the outline of his arm, shivers running down from it from your touch. The quiet breathing against your ear, his subtle shifts as he held you close, it all blended into a perfect harmony, a peaceful rhythm that wrapped you both the comforting embrace of eachother.

[stilessp]

don’t play with me princess

zach justice x fem!reader

warnings • smutty smut smut, zach : daddy, kissing, use of yn, pet names, oral sex, flirting, angst, jealous zach, swearing , 18+

summary: you went on dropouts after being friends for years and him begging you for ages to come the podcast , you finally give in and things kick off.

*Do not copy my work*

*zach has his own place in this*

you were messaging zach all last night about the podcast, what time to come etc he was being so sweet telling you he’s gunna be with you the whole time but knowing zach he will probably bully you for it tomorrow on the podcast “i’ll be fine” you mumbled before dozing off to sleep.

you wake up at 11:06 to zach phoning you making sure your awake as you always sleep in, unfortunately you had just woke up and had an hour to get ready and leave as you had to be there for 12:30 and it takes 20 minutes to get there “yea you just woke me up” you say rolling out of bed “good can’t have my star guest not come” he says, you hang up the phone starting to get ready doing a natural look as you didn’t have time nor effort to do a glam look, once you finished your makeup you chose your outfit then left.

you got there about 5 minutes before the pod started saying hi to everyone “omg yn” alyssa shouts across the room running towards you engulfing you in a big hug “alyssa ahh i missed you so much” you say with a massive smile “alright alyssa she’s mine calm down” zach says appearing around the corner with a smug little smirk on his face “oh shut up zach” turning around to face alyssa again and walking into the studio.

“hello welcome or welcome back to dropouts today we have an extra special guest, my girlfriend yn y/l/n” looking at u in shock “oh you wish” looking at the mic “i do i really do, so yn” your quick to answer as your nervous as what hes gunna say “yes zach” already dreading the question “how have you been” relieved with this you start to smile “yea it’s been great honestly i’ve started my own clothing line and makeup and it’s going great!” smiling knowing how far you’ve come “wow that’s great! any boys recently ?” jared says adding to the convo “oh jared you know” you say winking at him before you both start bursting into laughter, you look over at zach and he looks like he’s burning a hole into your brain, he looks mad ? you chime in “no guys i’m jk don’t clip that” you say with a nervous laugh zach still does not look impressed until he spits out “oh yn you wouldn’t even kiss jared on the cheek never mind do the devils tango with him” smirking you reply “oh and how would you know that” he stares at you for a second “okay guys if your not subscribed to the patreon you get a 7 day free trial, you get extra bits from these podcasts also you get them earlier plus extra videos like the drunk episodes when we get me and some other people drunk and try spill some secrets” you just look at him unimpressed as he carries on.

by now your on the subject of sex and relationships jared talking about this girl he is going out with tonight and how he would love to have something with her as theyd been speaking for months “yea jared i think you just gotta go for it, no woman wants a man who takes their time, and they don’t want to beg for it either ” you say giving him a woman’s perspective “oh yn you were begging for it last night” zach says smirking earning an oh and oh shit from jared and alyssa you just completely gobsmacked on what this man just said to you “oh please like i would go to you for that your probably not even as good as you make out zach, actually alyssa can you relate to this a man always says he knows what he’s doing yet he can’t get it in the right hole” jared and alyssa start laughing hesring a very quiet yes from alyssa as zach says “oh trust me i know what i’m doing” you didn’t look impressed “hm ye still don’t believe it sorry zach” he’d had enough at this point he wanted to throw you over his shoulder, take you upstairs and prove it while you were screaming out his name “don’t play with me princess”, jared just gasped and alyssa just started laughing you however just turned over and said “of course i’m gunna mess with you other wise your gunna wind me up so” looking over at him letting your eyes drop for a mere second you saw him readjusting himself seeing a massive bulge in his pants looking up with him smirking at you.

alyssa and jared start having a conversation about something i’m not sure what i was zoned out thinking about what zach said and his bulge until you were pulled out by zach coming closer to you wanting to whisper something “i’m gunna fuck you so hard after this your not gunna be able to even speak and say i didn’t know what u was doing, you understand me gorgeous?” you nod while backing away just smiling jared and alyssa obviously caught on “um guys what you saying over there” knowing you were caught until zach chimes in “oh i was just asking yn about something i heard about her clothing line and it’s true but not able to say sorry. it’s a secret” you sigh knowing zach just saved your ass and his.

after 1 hour of you and zachs glances you started you flirt with jared to get a reaction out of zach, must say he contained himself pretty well until the pod finished you said your goodbyes to jared and alyssa claiming you were gunna hang out with zach for a while as you haven’t seen eachother in months they believed it obviously as it is true you did miss him but you needed him now, as soon as they walked out that door you said “so you gunna prove it to me or what?” walking over to him looking up batting your eye lashes without a word he smashes his lips into yours quietly letting out little moans and gasps as he picks you up taking you to his room he throws you on the bed hovering over you “hm you look so good today” moaning while he’s kissing your neck “you too baby, wanted to have my way with you since i first met you” you moan against his touch not knowing this as you thought you guys were just friends with the occasional flirt “take your clothes off princess wanna see you” he says throwing his shirt some where across the room, after hearing those words you have never done something quicker you were lying there naked while zack still had his jeans on he slowly started kissing down your stomach reaching down to your bare dripping pussy “this wet already baby? hm someone’s needy” saying with a grin before you could answer he dived into your pussy sucking your clit making you scream out in pleasure “hm zach more baby please” he starts to pump his fingers in and out of you sucking and licking your clit, you could hear his tiny little moans and the vibrations coming off, “could jared eat your pretty pussy like this baby?” he says hint of jealousy in his voice you shake your head unable to focus “words princess” he says picking up his pace “no! daddy you do it better than anybody” you say about to come until he stops what he’s doing and looks up at you “what did you just call me?” you now are very embarrassed yet the words come out you couldn’t stop it “d-daddy” he smiles looking at you “fuck princess i cannot do this i need to be in you” you sigh then spreading your legs for him as he unbuckles his belt letting the cold air hit your core “fuck gorgeous such a good girl for daddy” he says slipping into you, he’s massive so much bigger than you thought “fuck daddy your huge” that just gives him a boost and he starts picking up the pace, “oh baby you don’t how long i’ve wanted to do this” he says moaning in your ear “me too daddy needed your cock for so long hmm” screaming without a care who heard you “your mine princess” you moan at the words nesrly making you cum alone “all yours daddy” you say trying to fight for breathe “what princess didn’t quite hear you?” ramming into harder and deeper “i’m yours daddy all yours!!” shouting even louder before he utters “good girl” as his thrusts get sloppy “where do you want me beautiful” without even thinking you say “in me daddy i’m on the pill” he does a couple more thrusts before you both are cumming the hardest you ever have, nobody has ever made you feel this way and you loved it, he pulls out of you now all cocky “that prove it to you huh” saying all confident “wasn’t even that good” you say smirking “hm i wish i could believe that but your moans and words say different gorgeous” he says before getting something to clean you both up.

as you were laying there he says “i meant it you know” you look up at him confused “your mine now, not letting you go” you just kiss him as you fall asleep tangled up together.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I hope you enjoyed leave me things to write in my inbox 🤍🦭🌟

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Beyond the 305 || LS2 {4}

Summary: Australia GP - need I say more?

Warnings: nsfw, fluff, implied smut, angst

WC: 2.8k

One || Two || Three || Four

There really was a new appreciation for the effort Logan put in everyday for not just his team but for you too. You never understood how exhausting it must have been for him to balance his training and race preparation, media and sponsor duties, and flying home to you every spare moment. Now that you were travelling with him full time you finally got to see just how much added pressure it had put on him.

The London apartment, no, flat, as they called it here, was spacious enough for two people and one large dog, but it was a quarter of the size of your home in Miami. It took some getting used to, walking the length of the space in a matter of seconds or catching your toe on the furniture to avoid stepping on Sooty’s tail. But you wouldn’t change it for the world when you got to curl your body around Logan’s every night and wake up to his kisses.

“What’s your plans today, sweetheart?”

The sunrise here was watery and pale compared to Miami but it still managed to catch the blonde streaks of hair on Logan’s head. He was already dressed and ready to go for his morning run and you could hear Sooty’s paws on the wooden floor as he paced by the front door with his leash between his teeth.

“Not a lot. At 3 I have to take Sooty to the V.E.T.S,” you spell out knowing the black labrador would start sulking if he heard the word. “He has to have some extra shots now if we want to take him to Shanghai.”

Everything took more preparation when you didn’t have the usual support people around. There were different certificates needed for Sooty and new regulations for each country. It wasn’t like you could just drop him off at Dalton’s for the week. The usual help was across the Atlantic and Lily would probably be happy to have Sooty except she would be able to take him to her uni classes. Your big baby needed companionship or he would whine and howl to get attention.

“I’ll come with you,” he said with a kiss before grabbing his AirPods from where they were charging beside the bed.

“I thought you had your podcast today?”

“It’s a long flight, Alex figured we could record it on the way.”

You smiled at the thought of going to Australia for the first time. You pictured warmth, beaches and sun like you were accustomed to. It was more exciting than the other destinations so far this season. Your smile faltered as you remembered you really needed to finish packing for the evening flight and you tossed the blankets back.

“You can go back to sleep, sweetheart,” he said as he pulled his shoes on. “It’s only 6.30.”

“If I don’t finish packing now I will lie awake stressing about it anyway.”

The suitcases were already on the floor of the closet, his clothes folded neatly inside. One half was William’s team uniforms, the other were his personal clothes. The second suitcase only had a garment bag with a cocktail dress for a night out before the circus began.

“I thought you said you started?” he asked as he grabbed your waist and looked over your shoulder.

“I did start,” you pointed out. “Just didn’t get much past there. Someone distracted me.”

Logan’s hands started to roam your body exactly like they had the last time you tried to pack. “You should have more self control,” he teased.

“I’ve never been good with that around you.”

Logan turned you in his arms and grinned. “And I’m goddamn glad.”

His head started to dip down and his lips were already pursed for the kiss he was more than happy to distract you with, when Sooty started to cry at the front door. A deep groan exhaled as he dropped his forehead to yours, the moment stolen from him.

“I’m coming, Soot,” he said over his shoulder before looking back at your lips. “I’ll see you in an hour, honey.”

Logan stepped away with hesitation in his eyes and your hands fell back to your sides as you sent him a flirty wink. “Run faster.”

His lips kicked up and he returned the wink. “Yes, ma’am.”

—

Logan found you sat on the floor in the closet when he returned with a sweat soaked shirt in his hand and a very happy dog at his side. The smell hit you as Sooty bounded into the room and you understood why he was so happy when you almost gagged.

“Sorry, sweets, he rolled in something at the park.”

“Something seriously dead,” you coughed, waving your hand to try to get some fresh air. “Oh my god, Soot, that is rancid!”

Logan caught his collar before he could jump onto your lap and started to guide him out of the room. “Come on, buddy, showertime for both of us.”

The water started running and you heard Logan’s soothing voice through the walls as he calmed Sooty down. Like most dogs, he loved water but hated baths. While they were busy, you finished off folding the last items you were taking and closed the suitcase with a satisfied huff, just in time to hear your name being called.

“We’ve got a runner!”

You dashed out of the room and grabbed an old towel from the linen cupboard before making chase. Logan’s towel hung precariously low on his hips and he struggled not to slip as he ran through the flat behind Sooty. Your laughter filled the room as Logan tried to herd Sooty into the towel you held open, but he was too agile and skidded out of your reach. Logan wasn’t as lucky and failed miserably as he tried to avoid the collision.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” he gasped as he pulled you onto his lap and felt your body for any bumps.

“I’m fine.” Your giggles grew as Sooty bounded back over and shook out his fur. “At least we don’t have to dry him now.”

Logan laughed, holding you tighter as he realised his towel had been lost and he was sitting naked beneath you. He swallowed deeply and your eyes started to follow a rivulet of water as it rolled down his chest.

“Soot, time for a nap,” he ordered, his voice dropping with the heated look in your eyes. Paws padded across the floor before his cuddly toy squeaked under his head and Logan rose to his feet, your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you back to bed.

Pillowy kisses warmed your neck as Logan’s hands lifted your shirt up, breaking away only long enough to pull it over your head. Dropping to his knees, he dragged your leggings down and left sweet kisses on your hips before he kissed his way back up your body.

“I love you,” he whispered as his lips finally met yours and he stole your breath with his tenderness.

“I love you too, always.”

He smiled at the promise. “I’ll hold you to that, sweetheart.”

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled him closer until your bodies were flush together and you felt his hard length press to your core. “Or you could just hold me.”

—

The atmosphere was jovial and Logan was relaxed going into race week. Oscar had escorted you and Logan around his hometown with Lily, showing the best spots to eat and the quieter beaches to visit with Sooty. The boys hadn’t been able to resist karting at the track Oscar had learned to race after media day ended. They had tried to get you and Lily to join but you were happy to play referee to their on-track battles.

“Logan looks more relaxed this year,” Lily commented as you both enjoyed a lemonade ice block in the shade of a tree.

“He’s got some experience now but I think that’s going to come with its own pressure. People are still expecting a lot from him, I just hope he has a car that can help him meet those expectations. He was just starting to get the hang of the last one and then the season was over.”

“It sounded like the car was going to be better this year from what Osc said.”

“I'm sure that’s what Alpine told Gasly and Ocon too,” you said with a laugh.

“Serves them right,” Lily giggled. “Alpine, not Pierre.”

“What about Estie Bestie?”

Lily wrinkled her nose at the nickname. “I only met him a couple of times but I definitely wouldn’t call him that.”

It took a lot for Lily to struggle to find something nice to say about someone, she was the sweetest, most soft spoken woman you knew. So it was enough to suggest he was someone you probably wouldn’t go out of your way to meet anytime soon.

“I do wish the guys would include Lo more. I know it hurts him to see pictures of the others getting together. Not that he says anything, he’s too polite,” you said with a sigh. “He was so happy when he was invited to play padel at Testing.”

Your eyes found his blue helmet as it raced around the track, neck and neck with Oscar’s orange one. It was amazing what he could do when given an equal piece of equipment, you would never have been able to tell that they were on opposite ends of the driver standings when watching them call a draw at the finish line.

The boys abandoned their helmets and dropped to the grass beside you and Lily laughing about something Oscar had said on the walk over. Sooty was in heaven as he rolled onto his back and welcomed the fresh hands for belly rubs.

“We should get a dog.”

Lily didn’t look impressed at Oscar’s suggestion and you distracted yourself by offering Logan some of your ice block before it completely melted.

“Just something small, like a Jack Russel,” he continued. “They can’t be that hard to look after, right?”

You barely contained your laugh as you shared an amused look with Logan that he returned, but Lily caught it.

“Just ask them,” she pointed out. “It’s like having a child, isn't it? I’m studying, you’re working and travelling, who will look after it?”

“It is a full time commitment,” you agreed. “And it takes a lot of planning to have everything prepared for travelling. I actually think a child would be easier, they only need a passport to get on a plane.”

Logan nudged your knee with his and winked. “Should we test that theory out?”

“We haven’t even set a date for the wedding so calm your loins, babe,” you said with a pat to his thigh that triggered Oscar to snort.

“Okay, no dog,” he conceded, a relief to Lily’s ears. “You guys wanna get dinner?”

You were about to take up the offer but Logan shook his head and said, “we have somewhere to be.”

“We do?”

“I didn’t ask you to pack a nice dress for it to get left in the hotel. I have something special planned,” he teased. “And no, I’m not telling you, it’s a surprise.”

Try as you might, he didn’t give you a hint of what he had organised.

“You look gorgeous, sweetheart.”

Logan was struck by your beauty and his luck as you stepped out of the room in a dress that accentuated all of your features. His mouth went dry at the thought that he had the pleasure of spending the rest of his life with you.

You stepped closer and ran your palms down the clean lines of his dress shirt that had the top two buttons undone. The baring of skin showed the necklace he wore, a gift from your first anniversary. He had far more expensive pieces of jewellery but he favoured that one the most because it came from you.

“Are you sure we have to go? You’re too handsome for your own good.”

His eyes traced the peek of your tongue and it rolled across your lips suggestively and he felt his pants tighten. He did debate cancelling it all to take you straight back to the bedroom you had left but he finally wrestled his thoughts back under control. “Unfortunately, but I might cancel dessert and have you instead.”

A town car was already waiting at the front of the hotel and as it drove along you watched the city as the sun set and the street lights brightened. Melbourne was beautiful.

“We should set a date for the wedding,” Logan suddenly said as the car pulled up at the city waterfront. “Everything is so uncertain this year but you’re the one constant in my life. If I lose everything else I’ll survive, but I will always need you.”

You laced your fingers with his as you stepped out of the car and thanked the driver. “You’ll always have me, wedding or not.”

He smiled and kissed your ringed hand, leading the way to a yacht moored at the pier. “I know, but I kind of look forward to calling you my wife.”

“Kind of? I hope you’ll have more enthusiasm with your vows.” Your words were light and your smile teasing before you released his hand to board the private boat.

The light mood lasted well into the night and your heart was as full as your stomach when the boat finished its harbour cruise. You wished that mood could last all weekend, but the universe had other plans.

yourusername

yourusername date night with my favourite human @/logansargeant 💙 thank you @/lilyzneimer for babysitting our boy, Sooty, not Oscar.

You knew that look of defeat when he emerged from James’ office, it saturated his soul and leaked out through his pale blue eyes. You could count on your hand the number of times Logan had cried in front of you and your heart ached at the thought of adding another to the tally. Without a word, laced your fingers with his and walked back to the privacy of his driver room. The door shut, the sound as muted as the mood, and you opened your arms to let him fall into your embrace as he confirmed the rumours were true. Logan’s hands clutched the back of your shirt in his fists and he buried his face in your neck. “Alex is racing.”

Your heart broke at the despondent tone and you drew soothing circles across his back. He had known it was a possibility going into the meeting but had hoped his principal wouldn’t put him in a position to give up his seat for the race. Unfortunately his prayers had gone unanswered.

“I’m so sorry, my love,” you murmured as his tears hit your shoulder. “I can’t believe they are even allowed to do this.”

“James didn’t want to ask, but he’s right, Alex has the best chance for points - his history shows that clearly,” Logan rasped through the lump in his throat. He felt humiliated, disappointed and angry all at once, but he was expected to grin and bear it for the team as a united front.

Your brows knitted together and you cradled his face in your hands so you could look him in the eyes. “He gave you the choice?”

Logan shrugged. “I mean, it didn’t feel like it, but I did say yes.”

“Yes means nothing if it’s under duress,” you stated bluntly, a familiar fire warming your stomach at the thought of his kind nature being taken for granted. “Just say the word, baby, and I’ll take him to church.”

Logan shook his head and the gaping wound that had been cleaved into his chest closed a little at your protective nature. He knew you would march right back into James’ office and argue until you were blue in the face, but he feared it would only make things worse for his future prospects in the team. This was his battle to face and he was going to play the long game, even if it took playing the fool for one race.

“I know you would, sweetheart,” he said with a sniffle, wiping his eyes and swallowing down the emotion. It would have made his father proud. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said with a kiss, tasting the salty tears on his lips. “Tell me what you need.”

“Just…stay with me?” Logan took a few steadying breaths and rested his forehead on yours as he screwed his eyes shut. “The cameras, I can’t deal with them alone. I can already feel them zooming in on me, wanting a reaction.”

You draped your arms around his neck and tangled your fingers in his hair with a reassuring smile. “Let’s disappoint them all then. Shall we?”

He took a deep breath and forced his lips to tip up into a hesitant smile that slowly grew more substantial the longer he looked at you. “Yes, ma’am.”

[the-internets-girlfriend]

Bittersweet Memories: Bitter and Sweet

George Clarke x Reader (Series)

There was something sweet - until it all fell apart. Years later, a viral video stirs up a past neither of them ever quite let go of. In the city where they both changed, something is quietly rising again.

warnings: soft angst, emotional miscommunication, heartbreak, swearing, slow-burn, alcohol consumption, hungover

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series | masterlist | previous part | next part

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Part Four: Bitter and Sweet (2700+ words)

I’m hungover, lying face down of Maisie’s leather couch with a blanket tangled around my legs and a regretfully warm glass of water sat on the coffee table. My head’s pounding, my mouth tastes like regret and sour wine.

The steaming of a coffee machine is heard from the kitchen and I let out a groan – a loud groan.

“Oh someone is awake!” Maisie cheerfully squeals.

Maisie walks into the kitchen with two coffee mugs in her hand, handing one to me as she sat down in the matching leather armchair. She looked she had too just woken up due to the flower pyjamas – but she looked fresh.

The one difference about us two – she is able to handle her liquor… myself not so much.

I sip carefully at the steaming coffee.

“So? How’s the head?”

I let out a second groan as my response to the questions, signally the conversation to move on.

“Well I have some good news! We’ve scored an interview with a magazine for the bakery!” She shrieks out loud, holding the phone out to show the magazine’s email.

“No fucking way!” The magazine company was one of which I would cut recipes out when I was younger with my grandmother, and now I was going to be an exclusive in it.

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In the next few weeks, the high continue to come.

The magazine interview goes better than I ever imagined, with Maisie and I carefully selecting which of our recipes we wanted to include alongside the interview – old favourites, comfort bakes, little secrets I swore I’d never share. When the article goes line, the bakery’s inbox floods with congratulations, a few weird messages and even brand offers. A cookbook deal. A local TV spot. An ad campaign with a jam company I didn’t know existed.

And I say no to majority of all of them.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful – it’s just… it doesn’t feel right yet. Too shiny. Too sudden. Like saying yes would mean giving up the quiet magic of it all – the way the bakery still smells like cinnamon before opening, the way I can play Fleetwood Mac at 6 a.m. while folding pastry with flour on my nose.

Maisie doesn’t push. She sees the way I hesitate each time, finger hovering above the reply button before closing the laptop or flipping the sign to closed  a little earlier than usual. She knows me too well.

And then it comes – the message.

max_balegde: hey, bit random – would you ever wanna come on the podcast? Talk about the bakery? Could be chill. No pressure x

I stare at it. For a long time.

It’s just Max. It’s not like he’s asking me to go on the morning show or anything. And he was always nice to me. Always made me laugh. But still, the nerves creep in – because it Max is reaching out, does that mean George knowns? Did he put him up to it?

Maisie finds me standing frozen at the counter with my phone screen still glowing.

“What’s with the haunted look?” She asks, biting into a croissant and raising an eyebrow.

“Max invited me on the podcast,” I say, voice flat.

“Ooooh,” she stands up straighter. “Like the podcast? With George?”

“That one,” I nod, sinking onto the counter in front me.

We stand in silence for a moment. She chews thoughtfully.

“You gonna do it?”

“I don’t know,” I murmur, eyes fixed on a crack in the tile floor. “It’s been a few weeks since I kind of told George off. What if it’s weird?”

Maisie shrugs, brushing crumbs from her shirt. “Weird can be good. Sometimes weird means closure – for the both of you… Or beginnings.”

I think about it for a few days.

The invite stays unread on my Instagram. Max doesn’t double message I spend the next few mornings baking along – no music, lost in my thought. Every now and then I think about George – how his laugh used to echo though my kitchen, his arms wrapped around me as I attempted to bake, his voice reading recipes over my shoulder like he actually knew what he was doing.

Eventually, I type out a reply.

Y/N: yeah, okay. I’ll do it. When and where?

I hit send before I can overthink it.

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Two days later, I walk into the podcast studio.

It smells fresh and like coffee, a sharp contrast to the nerves rolling in my stomach. There’s a camera on a tripod and three mics set up. Max is already adjusting levels and George – George is lounging on the couch, scrolling through his phone, one leg stretched out casually.

I don’t think he’s noticed me, not at first.

But then I catch it – a photo on his screen. My photo.

Cupcakes. The lemon-raspberry ones with sugared petals on top. I posted that shot over two years ago, back when I tagged him in stories without thinking twice.

They were cupcakes we once made together at home.

Before I can say anything – before I can decide what to say – he looks up. Slowly. Like it takes effort.

“Hey,” he says, voice low. Soft.

My heart skips a beat – traitor. “Hey,” I echo, quieter.

There’s a pause. Not long. Just enough to feel it.

Max swoops in and saves the moment. “Y/N! You made it ! Ready to expose your darkest secrets on air?”

I snort, graceful for the out, “only if you go first.”

We settle in – George and Max seated in matching chairs, side by side and I take the one across from them, facing George square on. I try not to look at him, but I can feel him – the warmth of his presence, the familiar trace of his cologne.

It’s so painfully him. Clean, a little woodsy. Like autumn mornings and old records.

Max starts the intro and we’re rolling.

The first few minutes are easy. Banter. Jokes. Max winding George up about his time management, George deflecting with sarcastic charm. I laugh where I’m meant to, play along.

The first few minutes are normal. Bickering. Jokes. Max and George talk about what they have been doing the previous week. Making jokes targeted at each other – Max showing off his quirky side and George showing off his charm.

But halfway through a story Max is telling about going to see his family, I zone out. Just for a moment.

And I remember –

It’s three years ago.

My grandma’s house.

George has been nervous – more nervous than he let on. He’d smoothed his jumper three times before we even rang the be; saying something dumb about not knowing if it was disrespectful to show up with supermarket flowers. In a response, I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and it gave him all the confidence he needed.

And she hadn’t made it easy, either. Grandma Gracie never did. She was sharp, suspicious of anyone who got too close to me too fast.

But George… George had a way.

I remember him spotting the half-dead tomato plant in her garden and with not hesitation – just bent down, pinched the browning leaves and said, “Think I can bring this back from the dead?”

And it was like a switch flipped in her. The corners of her mouth twitched trying not to smile – and I knew that George’s charm had worked on her.

And that was the moment she loved him.

That might’ve been the moment I did too.

“-Y/N?”

My name cuts through the air like a pebble tossed into still water.

I blink. George is now looking at me now. Max too. I’ve been quiet too long.

“Sorry,” I murmur, clearing my throat, trying to gather myself. “Zoned out.”

George’s brows twitch just slightly. His expression unreadable.

“It’s okay Y/N, we were just introducing you.” George utters.

“So welcome Y/N! Owner of Gracie’s Bakery, and bringer of cupcakes that haunts my dreams. Welcome.”

I laugh softly, “thanks for having me.”

“She brought pastries,” George says, his mouth full of one – he holds up the half eaten jam pastry, “this is my second – they’re as good as I remember…” George realises what he has said, and quickly covers it up, “well from when I first tried one only a few weeks ago.”

Max grins and leans into the mic, “so let’s start with the bakery. It’s blowing up! Viral cake! Queues out the door. What’s it been like?”

I shrug, suddenly a little shy. “It’s surreal. It started small just as a passion. I used to bake with my grandma in our tiny kitchen when I was younger. I never though it would become this.”

“And was the viral aspect always the plan?”

I shake my head slowly; George and I already both knowing the answer to the question, “no, I’ve always been one to try stay out of the limelight. I just wanted something that was mine. Quiet. Consistent.”

George lets out a breath. A soft one, but I hear it.

“And tell us – what’s your favourite thing to bake?”

“Every Christmas I make this chocolate dipped pastries,” I say immediately. “My family favourites.”

“Mmm,” George murmurs, like he remembers them too.

I feel my heart pull.

Max leans forward with a wicked smile. Alright, enough wholesome vibes. Let’s get into the juicy bits.”

I groan. “Here we go.”

“So Y/N,” he puts on a dramatic voice. “You’re successful, charming, clearly excellent in the kitchen. People want to know – what’s going o in the love life department?”

I scoff. “Absolutely nothing.”

My eyes quickly dart to George – and I see the smallest tilt up of his lips to reach into a smile.

“Oh come,” Max prods, eyes sparkling, “not even a cheeky situationship? Or a few dates here or there?”

I glance at George again – this time it was a mistake. His face in unreadable, jaw tense as he waits for the answer.

“I’m focused on the bakery,” I say smoothly, forcing a smile. “And Maisie’s dating life is dramatic enough for the both of us.”

Max chuckles but watches us carefully. The energy has shifted and he presses on – as if he was setting something up.

“There must be an ex though? Right?” Max asks, eyes flicking to look at George.

“There was someone back at home.” I start as Max gives a sly smile.

“Wasn’t he into content creation or something?”

I laugh, but it sounds hollow. “Something like that.”

I see it then – again, George’s jaw tensing.

“Do you miss it? Being back at home? And this guy>” George asks, hinting he meant more – asking if I missed George.

“The chaos of back home? No. Not really. But I did really like him. Loved him, but I didn’t like feeling like a background character to him.”

The silence is loaded, as I feel my eyes begin to swell – I’m brave and I hold them back. Max glances between the both of us, “you still talk to him?”

“No.”

It’s George who speaks next. “Must’ve been a dick, then.”

I turn to look at him, his face softening as he takes in my eyes – able to still read everything about me even after all this time.

“Maybe,” I say. “Or maybe we just didn’t know how to talk when it matter.” I finish my sentence, still looking at George in hopes of giving him closure – almost silently offering I’m ready to talk to him now.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The producer signals to Max and George – alerting them the time is almost up.

Max leans forward, a half-smile playing on his face. “Alright, I’ve been dying to ask this one – where did the name Gracie’s Bakery come from?”

I smile instinctively. “It’s named after my grandma, Gracie.”

Max lights up, “no way, that’s class. Is she a baker too?”

“Kind of,” I say, fiddling with the edge of my sleeve – debating if I was ready to open up in front of their audience and social media – more importantly, George. “She taught me everything, really. Cooking, baking, being a bit stubborn in the kitchen –“. I’m interrupted by George letting out a deep chuckle and our eyes meet; we both share a smile together.

“She had this way of making everything feel like magic – even if it was just toast and jam.”

Max chuckles, “she sounds like a legend.”

“She was,” I say quietly, then pause. The studio’s too quiet now, like the air’s holding it s breath. “She passed away. A little less than two years ago.”

I don’t look at George, but I feel the shift in him – a stiffening in the silence, like he’s just stopped breathing.

Max nods, softer now. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks,” I say. “Naming the bakery after her just… felt right. Like she’s still part of it.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I finally glance at George. He’s not looking at Max. He’s looking at me – eyes wide, lips parted just slightly, taking in the news of what he has just learnt. I can tell he wants to say something. Like he can’t believe he didn’t know – but he can’t. Not in front of a camera at least.

I turn away to look back at Max. But not before I catch it, the faintest twitch of regret in his expression. Like he’s just registered that she died after we ended things. That I went through first loosing him and then the most important person in my life… without him even knowing.

Max clears his throat and lightens the tone again, “she’d be proud,” gently steering the conversation forward. But the wright of that moment lingers, thick and quiet beneath the rest of the interview – beginning to do the outro.

And when I finally glance over at George again, he’s not speaking. But he’s still looking at me.

And this time, he doesn’t look away.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The red recording light finally clicks off. Max stretched his arms above his head with a dramatic sigh, swivelling toward the camera.

“And that’s a wrap,” he says, “Great ep! Genuinely. That was…. Thank you, Y/N.” He trails off looking to George.

The boys communicate something silently with their look and Max busies himself with something at the back of the room quickly.

George doesn’t move. Not at first.

He’s still his seat, leaned forward – hands clasped together like he’s thinking hard. Processing.

Eventually, he stands. His gaze meets mine again, and this time there’s no deflecting, no jokes – just us.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

He hesitates. Like he wants to say something real, something heavy—but we’re not alone, and he knows it.

“I didn’t know,” he murmurs. “About Gracie. About any of it.”

“I know you didn’t,” I say. “We weren’t really… talking.”

He nods, but there’s pain behind it. Like he’s kicking himself. “Still. You shouldn’t have had to go through that alone.”

I press my lips together, heart tightening. “Well, I did.”

It’s not said with bitterness. Just the truth. A simple fact he can’t undo.

George swallows. His eyes flick toward Max, who’s fiddling with audio files and deliberately pretending not to listen. Then back to me.

There’s a pause. I can see it in him — the internal battle. The pull of wanting to say something that maybe he should’ve said a long time ago. But he doesn’t.

Instead, he shifts a little closer. “Would you… maybe want to talk sometime? Like… properly?”

I blink. “About Gracie?”

He hesitates. “About whatever you want.”

My breath catches.

Before I can answer, Max turns around with his usual timing, holding up his phone. “Group selfie for the podcast Insta, let’s go!”

Just like that, the moment breaks. George steps back. I pull my jacket tighter.

But as we crowd together for the photo, I feel the edge of his hand brush mine.

And when I glance sideways, he’s already looking at me — eyes soft, full of something unsaid.

Something that might not stay unsaid much longer.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Hi all! Yeah so that was a lot... but I do hope you guys enjoyed - I've been building on the characterisation and backstory and hope it's making the story even more engaging!!

And the secret is out - the name is as an honour to her grandma, which I thought was so sweet.

See you all soon,

mwah x

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

taglist x

@mothersversiononly @whisperturnedecho @lovingaphroditesworld @reidyourpalms @liz140569 @swizzlemynizzle @wherethezoes-at @clarkeyzzz @swiftlyjo @madforgeorge @smzyyx @graceln4 @norrizzandpia @heyitsmefall @oliviaohanessian1 @clarkey4life @dopeysunflowers @hey-there9-its-me @ooostarwarsfandom501st @canyouseethesainz @cheesystylesig @burkayyy

[merrybloomwrites]

The Rake

Summary: You start having nightmares that disrupt your sleep, but luckily your boyfriend, Spencer, is there to help you through it.

Word Count: 1.8K

CW: mentions of creepy stories, nightmares

AN: This story is inspired by the Smosh Mouth episode that came out on October 21, which honestly did manage to creep me out a couple of times.

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Nearly everyday after work you go for a thirty minute walk. It’s always nice to go outside and enjoy some fresh air after being cooped up in the Smosh office all day. 

Plus it’s the perfect time to listen to podcasts. On Mondays you get to hear the first half of the newest Smosh Mouth episode, and you finish it up on Tuesdays. 

Walks are skipped on Wednesdays, as that’s the day you and your boyfriend, Spencer, spend together. 

It’s a perfect system in your eyes, one that you don’t plan on changing any time soon.

Today’s Tuesday, and you pull out your phone to press play on the podcast you’d started the day before. This week’s theme had been creepypastas, and it’s been fun listening to Shayne read out these weird stories.

You do admit that they’ve creeped you out a little bit, especially the one about the doll who demanded teeth. Shayne is an excellent storyteller, and it’s interesting to hear the different voice he uses for these stories. That, plus the eerie background music and noises they add in, really works to give those spooky, somewhat uncomfortable vibes. 

Add on the fact that the sun sets early now and you’re ending your walk at dusk while you listen to the final story about “The Rake”. You’re truthfully a bit freaked out by it, but then the episode ends with some banter from Shayne and Amanda and you move on. 

The rest of your evening passes as it usually does and by the time you get in bed you’ve completely forgotten about the creepy stories.

But then a nightmare wakes you up, and even though you’re now awake, you’re still terrified. Because it looks like something is sitting on the edge of your bed. You’re frozen in fear for what feels like minutes before you’re finally able to turn on your bedside lamp.

Once you’re no longer in complete darkness you can see that nothing is there. You take deep breaths and tell yourself that it’s just a bad dream. There is no weird creature in your room to torment you. You’re just stressed and your brain conjured this image to mess with you.

That’s the rational explanation. But it’s hard to be rational at 4:30 in the morning. 

For the next hour you try to fall back asleep. But it’s no use. You toss and turn, open apps on your phone, try to read a little bit, but nothing is chasing away the dream. At 6am you give up and get out of bed. You decide to take a morning walk today since you won’t be going on one this evening, and maybe getting outside will be a good change of scenery to reset your mind. 

It works, and by the time you arrive at Smosh you’ve forgotten about the dream. You are, however, completely exhausted from waking up so early. 

Spencer notices this immediately, as he gives you his normal good morning kiss. 

“You seem sleepy,” he says as his hand goes to your waist, his thumb rubbing circles on your hip. It’s one of his comforting gestures, and it’s most welcomed right now. 

“Had a weird dream that woke me up. Couldn’t fall back asleep,” you answer. 

“I’m sorry baby, you want to talk about it?”

“No, I'm good now. Just tired.”

“Okay. If you want to talk, let me know. And I’m staying at your place tonight so I’ll make sure you get a good night's sleep,” he says with a wink, causing you to laugh. 

Just like that, any lingering tension has left you, thanks to your kind and silly boyfriend.

“I’ve got a meeting I need to prepare for, but I’ll see you later,” he says, leaning in for one more quick kiss. With a parting squeeze to your waist he turns and walks away to start his work for the day. 

You do the same, and after a few hours of working at your desk, you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. Just as you're about to get up in search of caffeine, Spencer appears. 

As though he could read your mind, he hands you a mug saying, “Thought you could use a little pick me up. Made you some tea.”

“Thank you, this is exactly what I need right now,” you say. You take a sip and feel a pleasant warmth inside, not only from the tea, but from the fact that your boyfriend, who never drinks tea, has learned how to make it just perfect for you. 

As you sip your drink you reach out a hand. Spencer reaches to link his fingers with yours, and the two of you sit there for a couple minutes in comfortable silence. After this brief time spent together you both return to work. 

You don’t see Spencer for the rest of the day, since your lunch breaks don’t always line up, so it’s extra nice that you’re spending tonight together. 

Once you wrap up your last task of the day you walk over to Spencer’s desk to find him still engrossed by the document on his computer. You wait patiently, not wanting to break his concentration. When he gets to a stopping point he looks up and says, “Hey, sorry, I just need to finish this before I head out.”

“That’s fine, I’ll pick up the food on my way home,” you reply.

“Thank you, I’ll be at your place within the hour, promise.”

“Looking forward to it,” you say before leaning down for a quick kiss. 

You drive home, grabbing dinner as promised, and Spencer gets to your place not long after you do. You enjoy the food before lounging together on the sofa to watch mindless sitcoms. Spencer also keeps his word of tiring you out, the night ending with both of you very satisfied. 

Though all you want is to fall asleep, you definitely need a shower. It’s not what you want to be doing, but when Spencer decides to join you, it becomes much less of a chore. 

The two of you get ready and finally fall into bed. You’re truly exhausted, and as soon as Spencer spoons you from behind, his arms secure around your waist, you drift off to sleep.

But once again you jolt awake, pulse racing as you see what looks like a figure at the edge of the bed. Having felt you move, Spencer shifts beside you. He sits up sleepily and murmurs, “What’s wrong?” 

You try to explain but you’re still frozen by fear. Spencer becomes more alert and notices how wide your eyes are, how quickly you’re breathing. He turns on the lamp and scans the room. 

Seeing nothing to cause alarm he turns to you and again asks, “Baby, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“There was a thing, like a person or a creature or something. At the end of the bed,” you reply shakily. 

“A person in the room?” He asks to clarify. 

“That’s what it looked like but then it disappeared!”

“Okay, just, stay here a minute and I’ll check the apartment,” Spencer says, starting to get out of bed. You’re grateful for his bravery, but there’s no way you’re just going to stay in bed like a sitting duck. 

You get up as well and grab the metal softball bat leaning against the wall. Spencer watches and asks, “Have you always had that there?”

“Just since my moms last visit,” you answer. “She cleaned out the basement and thought I should have it for protection. But can we please focus on the possible intruder?”

“Right, yes, ok,” he says, getting back to the task at hand. The two of you search the apartment, but find nothing. 

You feel better knowing that your apartment is definitely empty, and with Spencer once again holding you protectively, you manage to fall back asleep, not waking until your alarm.

Both of you are needed in a meeting that morning so you quickly get ready and head to work. Once in the conference room, you sit next to Amanda, Spencer on your other side. Even though you’d slept more than the previous night, it’s clear both of you are still sleepier than usual.

“Busy night?” Amanda asks, her voice suggestive, but joking. You know what she’s implying, and though she’s kind of right, you don’t need her knowing that.

“Bad dream,” you say simply. 

“Y/N thought there was a creature on the bed,” Spencer adds. 

“Well, she was right, wasn’t she? You were there,” Shayne says from his spot next to Amanda, causing you to laugh. 

“Heyyy, rude,” is all Spencer has to say in reply. 

“Did you listen to the podcast this week?” Amanda asks.

“Yea of course, I listen every week.”

“And you had a dream about a creature in your bed?” is Amanda’s next question. You nod yes in reply.

“A creature like in the Rake?” 

“Holy shit. Yea. One hundred percent the creature from the rake,” you say, mad at yourself for not putting the pieces together.

“You got a nightmare from us telling stories on the pod?” Shayne asks. “That might be a first.”

You start laughing at how ridiculous this all is before sliding down and resting your head on the table. You’re embarrassed, not only that you had a nightmare because of a comedy podcast, but that everyone at work will absolutely know this fact by the end of the day. You’re already imagining the pranks that you’ll likely endure in the future because of this. 

And of course the pranks do come. In the following weeks, plenty of people joke around about you being scared of the Rake and sometimes pop out at you to make you jump. All of this is a totally normal and expected part of working at Smosh.

But what you don’t expect is Spencer’s reaction. Instead of laughing and messing around with the others, he’s always serious and checking in. He makes sure that it’s not upsetting you, and promises to talk to the others if it is. 

While you reassure him that it truly doesn’t bother you, it’s nice to know that he’s so fully there to back you up. You’d been on your own until you found him, always taking care of yourself. So having Spencer there to help take care of you feels so foreign, and yet, so welcomed. 

The teasing and pranks may get old eventually, but you don’t mind them. Because everytime it happens, Spencer is right there with a smile and a kiss to make sure you’re okay. 

And that makes it all worth it.

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AN: Thanks for reading! Lmk if you have any requests!

[thatstonedwriter]

⋆｡˚ 「 Domesticity 」 ⋆｡˚

◉ Sinopsis; Stolas and his s/o spend a romantic morning together

◉ A/n- stay tuned for a little scenario at the bottom of this post. First time I'm combining headcanons and a short scenario, hope y'all enjoy <3

── ˙•˚∘✮🌙ᯓ🪐˙•˚∘ ──

The sky brightens, light wafting through the curtains like a gentle wake up call. Beside you, Stolas stirs in his sleep, cooing and turning over. As wonderful as it would be to sleep in, its time to get ready for the day.

Stolas isn't a morning person. Unless he has appointment or meetings, he'll sleep in until the late morning. I mean- He's an owl demon, he's gonna prefer nighttime. Fortunately, you make mornings much more bearable.

If you're the type to stay in bed, Stolas takes full advantage. Half-awake, he'll leave light kisses on your cheek, neck, and arms, mumbling a small "good morning, darling"

He's also the type to playfully groan about having to get up. He pulls the blankets closer, damn near hiding under them, holding you close and making very persuasive points as to why you should just stay in bed with him.

If you prefer to get up and get an early start on the day, Stolas appreciates that too. He'll still whine about how he wants you to stay in bed, but won't keep you from doing your thing. He'll even make an effort to get up with you to maximize quality time together

It's been said Stolas doesn't know how to cook. And it's true, that's why people say it. If you also can't cook, y'all will settle for a simple breakfast- maybe going to a cafe or staying home with a bowl of cereal or a plate of pancakes

Ngl, I think Stolas would listen to podcasts or audio books in the morning. Listen; y'all are in the kitchen or bathroom, getting ready for the day, making your food- all while listening to a mystery novel or an astronomy podcast.

As small as the moments are, Stolas cherishes just standing in the bathroom getting ready for the day, consulting with you on what outfits y'all should wear, and taking turns in the shower. He's finally able to call this house a home because he gets to share it with you.

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

The bubbling sounds of the coffee maker and the sizzle of cooking pancakes fill the kitchen. Stolas walks in, groggily rubbing his eyes and padding over to you.

"Good morning, my love," he whispers, kissing the top of your head. Stolas rests his head atop yours, watching the pancake batter bubble on the pan. "The food smells delicious."

"Thanks," you chuckle, leaving th pancakes for a moment to pour a cup of coffee. "Careful, it's hot," you say, passing the mug to him. Stolas nods, kissing you once more and sipping the coffee.

"You can go ahead and sit down, the pancakes will be done soon."

Stolas smiles, leaning against the counter. "I can stay here. After all, why would I go all the way over there when you're right here?"

"Whatever you say, birdy," you laugh, turning your attention back to the pancakes.

The rest of the time passes in comfortable silence. Stolas watches you lovingly, thinking of how grateful he is to share these moments with you. This is the love he's has been waiting for.

── ˙•˚∘✮ 🔭๋࣭ᯓ🌙˙•˚∘ ──

[eonian-nightmare]

***Spoilers for E52 and S6***

Have you ever had a recurring dream? One that picks up right where it left off, no matter how many times you wake up? A dream so vivid, so strange, it lingers long after you open your eyes—like something followed you out of it. Have you ever begged to wake up?

As with most of my Malevolent rants, we’re diving into some old literature again—pulling from the ancient and the arcane to explore what it might mean for the future of the podcast. This time, our focus is on a singular, slippery figure: Nyarlathotep. Or, as we’ve come to know him, Kayne.

In the Cthulhu Mythos, Nyarlathotep is unlike any of the other eldritch beings. While most of the Great Old Ones are distant, silent, and monstrously uncaring, Nyarlathotep is something else entirely—calculating, charismatic, cruel, and disturbingly human. He walks, he speaks, he plays. And yet, for all his autonomy, he remains a servant to something far more terrible: Azathoth, the blind idiot god who dreams the universe into being from the center of all creation.

Now, “chaos” today usually means disorder, unpredictability. But in Lovecraft’s world, chaos is something older. It’s primordial—a vast, formless void that existed before reality, before time, before thought. And at its heart lies Azathoth, asleep and mindless, his dream spilling outward in the shape of galaxies, dimensions, and lives. If he were ever to wake, the dream—and everything in it—would end.

Nyarlathotep, called the Crawling Chaos, is the only one who can traverse that abyss. He alone can reach Azathoth’s throne and speak to him—though not willingly. The Mythos suggests he does so not out of reverence, but necessity. Perhaps even compulsion. The implication is chilling: Nyarlathotep doesn’t choose to serve. He has to.

Which brings us to a theory we explored back in episode 52: that this world—our world—is nothing more than Azathoth’s dream. If that’s true, then none of us are truly awake. We’re fragments of someone else’s unconscious mind, puppets dancing in a half-formed thought. All of us… except Nyarlathotep.

He is aware of the dream. He can step outside of it and return, knowing it’s not real. That kind of awareness doesn’t make him powerful. It makes him alone. And that loneliness, that knowledge—well, it twists things. It turns a servant into something else entirely. A herald, maybe. Or a jailer.

So what does he want? Why does he walk among us? Why does he lie, manipulate, infiltrate? Aren’t humans just toys to him?

Yes. And no.

Unlike the other gods, who drift in indifference, Nyarlathotep is involved. Intimately. He whispers in dreams. He builds false religions. He impersonates messiahs and monsters. He mocks belief. His cruelty is theatrical—intentional. It isn’t about instinct. It’s about performance. He wants us to look behind the curtain and scream anyway.

And that’s where the terrifying idea begins to take shape. What if this isn’t just sadism? What if it’s resentment?

While Azathoth dreams blindly, Nyarlathotep watches. While the other gods sleep in apathy, he acts. He delivers messages no one understands. Executes will no one respects. He's bound to a god who doesn’t even know he exists—a god that birthed a universe without meaning.

Maybe he’s tired of that. Maybe he’s tired of being the only one awake in someone else’s dream.

And maybe waking the dreamer isn't good enough, because what if they fall back asleep? So maybe it's best to end the dream entirely, make sure it can never become something reaccuring, to root out the rot before everyone slips back in, and from the wreckage make something new, where no one is imprisoned, no one is restrict and everyone is concious.

A world with no inherited rules. No sacred order. No morality, no physics, no gods but himself. A world where chaos has intent. Where laws shift like smoke. Where humans are not creatures of purpose, but playthings in the hands of a being who doesn’t pretend to care.

Not just destruction. Reclamation.

Because if you were trapped in a dream that wasn’t yours—if you knew none of it was real, and that you would never wake up—what would you do? And if you could reshape it? Wouldn’t you want the world to finally look like you? Kayne—Nyarlathotep—doesn’t want to be the messenger anymore. He wants to be the dreamer.

[arcadecarpetgay]

new fic is out !! i wanted to write a little bit of messy enemies to lovers gold cross w/ gender ambiguous john, and this is what happened!

warnings: internalised homophobia

summary:

“What’s this?”

“Makeup,” John says, taking the brush back from Oscar and setting it on the other side of the sink. He can’t help feeling defensive over it, even though he knows he shouldn’t be.

“Oh,” Oscar says softly, just a moment too late. “Why?”

--

John and Oscar have always struggled to get along.

[additional bonus drabble under the cut cause i got distracted and couldnt stop writing about john doe malevolent <33]

John realises too late that the sun is rising. He looks up from the cat lying across his lap to stare at the soft grey light gradually seeping into the sky, head pressing against the picket fence behind him. It’s one of his favorite houses to walk by, partly because of the massive honeysuckle bush out front, mostly because they have a very friendly cat that sits on top of the fence and stares at passerby with big, gleaming yellow eyes. And as a bonus, he’s discovering, it has a nice view of the buildings on the east horizon. He’s only able to admire the sunrise for a moment, though, before it clicks. He’s been out of the house all night.

“Shit,” he mutters, begrudgingly picking up the cat and gently moving it off him, trying not to scare it off as he hastily gets to his feet. He only walked a few blocks from home, but if he doesn’t get back soon…

“I know,” he replies as the cat meows in protest at him, stooping one more time to scratch the top of its head. It pushes its head insistently up into his hand, eyes shutting. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

John is slightly out of breath by the time he gets home, and his stomach sinks when he sees that there’s already a light on in the kitchen. No point hiding it now, he supposes. He opens the front door as quietly as he can, trying not to draw attention to himself as he pries off his shoes.

The light turns out to be Noel, standing at the kitchen counter with a slack, bleary expression as he watches water boil. He’s unshaven and there are shadows under his eyes, but he offers John a tired smile when he locks the door behind him and walks into the kitchen.

“Mornin’, John.” His voice is gravelly from sleep, speaking softly to keep from waking up the rest of the house.

“Good morning.”

John walks over with his hands in his pockets, preparing for Noel to ask where he’s been, why he’s coming home at sunrise with no explanation. That doesn’t happen, though, Noel gestures to the pot with his mug and asks, “Want a cup?”

John blinks. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

He joins Noel in staring at the kettle for a little bit, watching the specks of condensation gather on the spout. It isn’t very eventful, though.

“Is Arthur awake?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Nope.”

John tries to keep from audibly sighing with relief, but he can’t help letting his shoulders slump slightly. Noel chuckles, turning to look at him.

“In fact, if you go and wake him up now, he…” he trails off, tilting his head to the side.

“What is it?”

Noel sets down his mug and reaches up to touch a lock of hair above John’s temple, where he carefully pulls free a small sprig of honeysuckle.

“He won’t know you were ever out.”

[letshaikyuu]

A day off for the captains

DAICHI SAWAMURA

wishes to sleep in on his days off, even though he keeps waking up at his usual early time. does his workouts in the morning, his post-workout routine, and all that jazz. he tends to stay inside during his days off because he needs peace and quiet to gain back his energy, but he also goes grocery shopping when he has free time. in the store, he charms the lil’ old ladies with his huge smile and just as big arms as he helps them with their bags and reaching high shelves (even though he is one of the shorter captains on this list cough cough). gets himself a guilty pleasure treat and goes back to his house. prepares a hot cup of coffee and sits down to read a book. he alternates between reading motivational books or thrillers. if you are also free, he loves to go out and take you out for lunch, a walk, or grab some coffee. he doesn’t have much free time, so he cherishes the time he spends with you.

OIKAWA TOORU

he loves sleeping in but always wakes up before noon. he needs his beauty sleep. the first thing he does is go to a nearby coffee shop to up his caffeine intake and buy a nice, flaky, sweet pastry. sometimes he sits down and eats there, sometimes he goes back home and enjoys his sweet time alone. it’s on these days when oikawa’s screen time rapidly increases because he always has something on his phone open and running. a podcast is always being played as he’s doing a workout, washing the dishes, or preparing an easy lunch. he also has a few youtubers he frequently watches. he also has you on video call all the time whenever you’re free and he loves to talk your ear off about his day – definitely compliments the pastry he has eaten. if you two can’t meet for the day, he has the biggest pout on his face and says he misses you all day long – is the type to buy and send you food with one of those apps, and then you two call while having lunch together.

KUROO TETSUROU

he is the type to lay in bed for hours before he gets up. his tiktok fyp is filled with those funny animals compilations, those singing cats and Reddit stories. he listens to the craziest of stories as he makes breakfast and sits down at the table with a cold brew in hand. takes his sweet time eating breakfast and scrolling through his phone. makes sure to text you once he’s fully awake and will tease you if you’re in class/at work and he’s the one with a day off. his preferred time to work out is in the evening, so he has lots of free time to spend. idk why i think he’s the one to meal prep for the upcoming few days, but he does just that. has to have a TV series marathon – he is a Pretty Little Liars watcher – fight me. once his workout is over, takes a bath and has a whole ass spa day in that bathroom because he takes good care of his body in every way possible. loves the feeling of laying down on clean sheets with his skin all clean and moisturized.

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

can literally sleep the whole day. a day off equals a cheat day to him most of the time. he sleeps in and loves to order the foods he loves most. it’s usually a phone call or text from you that wakes him up in the morning (his morning voice tho *-*). once he’s actually out of bed, he makes the biggest cup of coffee he can, turns on the telly, and listens to some news he finds on the first channels. closes his eyes 100x times while he’s on his couch and dozes on and off. the caffeine would then kick in and then he has the need to go on a run. his mind: the more he runs, the more food he can eat later on. he does exactly that when he gets back home and is literally jumping in excitement when his food arrives. he puts the ice cream he ordered in the freezer for later (to eat when he’s crying over a rom-com) and scarfs down the food. takes a well-deserved afternoon nap and then ends the night with a crying session, the ice cream soothing his sensitive heart.

[itsnotnina]

how to save a bad day.

Today was not a good day. I had an exam in the morning that I prepared so hard for but I walked out knowing I'd pretty much failed. I walked out pretty dejected and just overall, I felt pretty lost. So I thought I'd take myself out (a lil pity solo date) to try and make myself feel better.

Go on a walk. Seeing as I was already out of the house (I was at uni) I took myself on a little walk. I walked into town and just browsed through a bunch of shops. I didn't need anything so it was nice to just window shop.

Go to a coffee shop. I went to Black Sheep Coffee - one of my favourite coffee shops in town - and ordered a decaf coffee (it was like midday so I chose decaf so that I'd actually be able to sleep). I sat on a little corner table and just people watched for a little bit, while I was waiting for my coffee.

Read a book. After getting my coffee, I pulled out my book. I'm currently reading Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. NGL, I was slightly self-conscious - I live in predominantly a university town so there are a lot of people my age and older, and I am reading a book aimed at children - but in all honesty, I love the book too much to dwell on it for too long.

Journal. After a while of reading and sipping my coffee, I felt a bit more calm and wanted to journal. Journalling helps me when I'm stressed or anxious sometimes because it helps me work out exactly how I feel. It also helps me keep track of what happened when because I have the worst memory ever. After journalling (and starting on a bit of revision) I headed off home - the walk was nice, even if it's long. I listened to a podcast on the way home. NGL though, it was freezing cold because it was like 2 -3 degrees at the time.

Shower. I got home and took a shower to warm up. I will say though showers are great to let go of whatever's weighing on you. Literally, let it wash away from you :)

Relax/Do Something Entertaining. I watched a few more episodes of Doctor Who while waiting for my hair to dry. I also started crocheting a new project :)

Make Dinner. I made (Fake) Chicken Noodle Soup for dinner - if you want a recipe, let me know and I'll post it here or on my tiktok (@niagosavi).

Try and Get An Early Night. I think I went to bed around 10pm that night - I had been awake since like 6am so I was knackered.

Bad days are inevitable but they are not the end of the world. Remember, it's a bad day, not a bad life.

[schemmentigfs]

Sweet Nothings.

paring: melissa schemmenti x reader.

warnings: none. Just pure fluffy.

summary: melissa whispers some sweet nothings while you sleep. 💌

notes: this was my first time writing something in english, so I apologize for any mistakes, I hope you enjoy <3 and feel comfortable to send me requests for more Melissa fics!

As she unlocked the door, Melissa sighed. "Finally at home. I couldn't take it anymore."

That Saturday, Ava planned a game night with the rest of the Abbott crew. At first the redhead was hesitant to go as all she wanted was to spend time with you since both of you hadn't seen each other all week.

However, you managed to convince her to go, knowing that no matter how much your girlfriend complained, she loved spending time with her friends.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me, Tesoro? " Melissa asked before leaving.

"Wish I could, but unfortunately I have to keep working. Again." You said rolling your eyes.

As much as you were happy to be working from home, you couldn't deny that sometimes you felt exhausted from too many tasks. And Melissa knew this and did her best to make sure you got as much rest as possible.

"Hon, when you're done try to get some rest, okay? Remember that the most important thing is your well-being." She said as she hugged you tightly.

[...]

"Babe?" Melissa said as she climbed the stairs looking for you.

As she walked towards the bedroom, the older woman let out a small smile as she found you sleeping peacefully on the bed.

Before joining you in bed, she took the opportunity to take a quick shower and change her clothes. Melissa put on an old Nirvana t-shirt, a piece she stole from you at the beginning of your relationship.

"Dolcezza Mia, are you awake?" Melissa asked softly as she settled into the bed next to you, waiting for an answer. "No? good, you deserve some rest. I know how work is really exhausting for you sometimes."

She wrapped her arms around your waist, sighing passionately.

"The game night was pretty good actually, Ava was gossiping about her neighbors, Jacob kept talking about the new episode of his favorite podcast, Barb and I had a karaoke competition and Janine and Gregory showed us this new Lego set. And speaking of these two, can you believe that they are finally dating? Seriously, I thought they would never admit their feelings for each other." Melissa chuckled softly.

"I had a lot of fun but I couldn't wait to get home and stay with you, sweetheart."

She felt you settle into her.

"Sei così bella. Sono così fortunato ad averti. I love everything about you. How you are always kind, loving and optimistic about things." Melissa whispered. "Everyday...as soon as I get off from work I try to get home as fast as I can. Because that feeling when I open the door and you run to me and you jump into my arms, is so sweet. It erases all my bad thoughts from the day."

Melissa leaned over to give you a kiss on the cheek, accidentally waking you up.

"Lissa? Is that you?" You asked in a sleepy voice, turning to face her.

"Sorry hon, I didn't mean to wake you up with the kiss on your cheek, I just was-"

You laughed when you noticed your girlfriend was blushing. God, she was so precious.

"It's okay." You said, leaning over to kiss her.

"Did you manage to rest?" Melissa asked changing the subject. Trying to hide how shy she was at that moment.

"Yes! quite a lot to be honest. But you know, I also couldn't wait for you to come home and kiss me."

The redhead didn't respond, just let out a small laugh, while looking at you with heart eyes.

"What?" you asked smiling.

"I love you. Tu sei l'amore della mia vita e sarò tua per sempre." She said before pulling you into a desperate kiss.

<3

Sei così bella. Sono così fortunato ad averti. = You are so adorable, I'm so lucky to have you.

Tu sei l'amore della mia vita e sarò tua per sempre = You are the love of my life and I will be yours forever.