#BERRY DOES THE MICROWAVE

[north-peach]

@wolfsrainrules

@deathwalkerberry

[pinknatural]

Pick out the biggest, reddest, juiciest strawberries. Wash ‘em real good. Lay them out on a tray covered in parchment paper. Pat them dry, and leave them out. Put some chocolate chips in a bowl, and microwave in 30 second intervals. After the chocolate is good and melted, pick up the strawberries by the stem and dip them in, coating them thoroughly before putting them back on the tray. 

Dean’s never made chocolate-covered strawberries before. Never had a reason to. It’s kinda nice, to dedicate all his focus to making sure the chocolate is covering up the berries evenly. To try not to get them to drip. 

Since moving into the Bunker, Dean’s found that baking is fun. He likes putting a bunch of stuff together and seeing delicious results. And chocolate-covered strawberries aren’t exactly rocket science, but he knows they’ll taste good and make Sammy happy and that’s all he really wants, right?

Plus, he thinks, gently placing another strawberry back on the parchment paper. He doesn’t think Jack has ever had a chocolate-covered strawberry before, and he can just picture the kid’s excited eyebrows at the taste. 

He picks up another strawberry, pinching all the leaves between his fingers so they don’t get chocolatey. He dips it nice and slow into the glass bowl, turning it gently as he brings it out of the chocolate.

“What are you doing?” 

Dean yelps, nearly dropping his strawberry. 

“Jesus christ, Cas, you snuck up on me!” he says, turning to glare over his shoulder. Cas is standing just behind him, staring curiously. He could’ve been there for two minutes or twenty. Dean didn’t even know he was in the Bunker, let alone the kitchen. “I’m not kidding about that bell, dude.”

“Apologies,” Cas says. He doesn’t sound a bit sorry at all. Dean rolls his eyes and turns back to his strawberry, putting it on the tray next to the other completed ones. Cas moves in closer. “What is the purpose of this exercise?”

“Chocolate-covered strawberries,” Dean says. 

“I see that,” Cas says. He sniffs, as if the smell disagrees with him. “But why are you covering the strawberries in the chocolate? Is it for a spell?”

“No, it’s a dessert. Like a candy, I guess,” Dean says. “For Valentine’s Day.”

“Ah, yes,” Cas says. “Unattached drifter Christmas.”

Something in Dean’s heart stabs, at that. He hates that Cas has heard him say that, or heard Sam reference it, or whatever. 

“Yeah,” he says, looking away from Cas’ eyes. The strawberries are safer to look at. “I guess.”

Cas’ big hands enter Dean’s field of view, and he plucks up a strawberry. Not one with chocolate on it. A naked one. Despite himself, Dean looks back up at Cas. It’s hard to not look at him. He has a very nice face.

“What does chocolate strawberries have to with the patron saint of bees?” 

“Bees?”

“And epilepsy,” Cas says, squinting at the strawberry. “And the mentally ill. And happy marriages.”

“Uh, it’s more about the happy marriages thing,” Dean says. “Valentine’s Day is about love and shit.”

“And strawberries,” Cas says, nodding wisely, as if he understands everything. He sets the strawberry back on the tray. Dean’s not sure if he’s fucking with him or not. Surely after all this time on earth, Cas knows what fucking Valentine’s Day is. 

“You give the strawberries to your Valentine,” Dean says. “Or chocolate or whatever. Or those fucking disgusting chalky heart things. But Eileen loves chocolate-covered strawberries and so these are for Sam. To give to her.”

Dean told Sam to make his own chocolate-covered strawberries, but Sam said that either Dean could make them or he would buy some from the store. And Dean does not trust fucking Hy-Vee to have quality chocolate-covered strawberries. He picks up Cas’ naked strawberry--the last one--and dips it into the chocolate. 

“That’s very kind of you,” Cas says, watching him. “To help Sam out.”

“Whatever,” Dean mutters, holding the strawberry up so the excess chocolate can drip back into the bowl. “I wanted Jack to try some, too.”

“You say that like it will make me think you less kind,” Cas says. Dean is tempted to throw him out of the kitchen. But goddamnit, he likes Cas and likes when Cas hangs out with him and asks stupid questions about Valentine’s Day. But knows that Saint Valentine is the patron saint of epilepsy, or whatever. Ugh. 

Dean never knows when Cas is leaving, anyway, so he’s gotta take all the time he can get. He leaves his strawberries behind and fetches another glass bowl. The white chocolate chips are already out, beside the opened bag of regular chocolate chips. 

“I thought you said white chocolate was an abomination,” Cas says, watching Dean pour some into the bowl. 

“It is,” Dean says. “But it will look fancier this way, trust me.” He puts the bowl in the microwave, punches in a 3-0-enter then turns around to look at Cas. He’s inspecting the neat line of chocolate-covered strawberries. They’re a little messier than Dean wants, but hell, it’s his very first try. 

“I don’t understand why you would put the chocolate on the strawberries,” Cas says. “My understanding is that strawberries are perfectly good on their own.”

“Dude, bacon is perfectly good on its own and we put chocolate on that,” Dean says. He crosses back to the counter and picks up a strawberry by the stem, holds it out to Cas. “Go on, try it.”

He expects Cas to take the strawberry from him--chocolate end first, and then he’ll get chocolate all over his fingers and Dean will die a million deaths watching him lick the chocolate off. Instead, Cas does something a thousand times worse and leans forward, biting into the strawberry without taking it, like Dean’s feeding it to him or some shit. 

Dean has a vision of a picnic somewhere, red and white checkered blanket and all. The sky is blue and the grass is soft and Cas’ head is in Dean’s lap and Dean’s feeding him strawberries and kissing him between each one. 

But instead Cas just--doesn’t break eye contact. Just stares, as he bites into the strawberry, chews and swallows. 

“Good?” Dean says, mouth dry. 

Cas closes his eyes, licking his lips. “Mmm, very.” He straightens back up. Even though he licked his lips, he missed a little--has a chocolate mustache. Dean has the insane urge to lick it right off his face. 

“Uh, you got some--chocolate,” Dean croaks instead. He mimes with his own thumb. Cas swipes the chocolate and succeeds in smearing it everywhere. 

“Did I get it?” he asks, and his wide blue eyes hypnotize Dean into reaching forward and wiping the chocolate off Cas’ face with his own fingers. Then Dean licks the chocolate off his thumb. 

Then Dean realizes that the microwave is beeping and the white chocolate’s first 30 seconds have been up for a long time, and he should probably go get that, and he escapes across the kitchen. 

“The strawberry molecules and chocolate molecules are very pleasing together,” Cas says. “Do humans put chocolate on other fruits?”

“Yeah,” Dean says, stirring the white chocolate frantically. If he doesn’t look at Cas maybe Cas will think that what just happened was normal, and that Dean isn’t fucking insane. “Uh, apples, bananas, pineapples. I think I saw it on kiwi once. Uh, maybe orange slices.”

“Fascinating,” Cas says. Dean puts the white chocolate back into the microwave. “Yes, I think Jack would like that very much.”

“Good,” Dean says. He goes to the fridge, gets a beer. Opens it on the side of the counter and takes a big swig. The microwave beeps.

It’s all melted. Dean grabs a spoon and goes over to the berries. He is not confident about this part at all, but crazyforcrust.com said to use a spoon. And hopefully he can get, like four or five good-looking ones for Sam, and the rest can be for him to pig out on on the fourteenth alone in his room while he tries not to wonder where Cas is. 

He dips the spoon into the white chocolate and covers it, then raises it over a strawberry and zig-zags over it, letting the white chocolate drip and drizzle overtop.

“See?” Dean says to Cas, who he knows is watching. “You can hardly taste the white chocolate this way but it looks good.” Well, it doesn’t look bad. Dean’s sure they’ll look better as he goes.

“I see,” Cas says. He points to the drizzled strawberry. “Are you giving that one to Sam?”

“No,” Dean says. “That one was just a practice one.”

“Good,” Cas says, and he picks up the strawberry by the stem. Dean’s never, ever seen him go for seconds before, but he makes a mental note of it. But then Cas turns the strawberry around, unmistakably offering it to Dean. “You should have one. You made them.”

“But--” Dean starts to say, and then Cas brings it up, so it nearly touches Dean’s lips. He looks at him with the same kind of focus he gives to a hunt, or smiting demons. 

“Eat it,” he says, nudging Dean’s lips with the fruit. Dean opens his mouth and bites into it. Maybe Dean would lay his head on Cas’ lap in their picnic, and Cas would feed Dean. 

The strawberry is good, probably. Dean’s not really sure what it tastes like. All he can see are Cas’ eyes, boring into his. 

Dean swallows. 

“You don’t have any chocolate on your face,” Cas says. He sounds disappointed. Dean can’t unpack that. 

“That’s ‘cause the chocolate is less melty,” Dean says, mostly on autopilot. He feels a million miles away. “Cause it’s starting to harden.”

“Okay,” Cas says. “Can I help with the drizzle?”

“Oh,” Dean says, shaken out of some kind of trance. “Sure. Get a spoon.”

Cas fetches one. He holds it like an instrument of war. Dean loves him so fucking much.

They drizzle white chocolate over the strawberries. Cas does it so precisely his drizzles look like they came from the store. Dean’s drizzles improve. He makes a couple decent ones. For Jack, he guesses, ‘cause the ones Cas made should probably go to Sam.

“I gave you a strawberry,” Cas says out of nowhere. “And you gave me one. Does that make us Valentines?”

Dean freezes. 

A moment later, his heart restarts and he looks at Cas, who is solemnly drizzling. Then he looks innocently up at Dean, and Dean realizes that Cas has absolutely been fucking with him this whole time. Absolutely knows about Valentine’s Day, absolutely ate that strawberry out of Dean’s hand on purpose. Dean narrows his eyes at him. Cas tilts his head. 

“You’re a menace,” Dean grumbles. 

“That’s not a no,” Cas says. 

“You’re right,” Dean says. “I guess it does make us Valentines.” Cas smiles, a tiny, private thing, and then looks back down at his drizzling. 

“Good,” he says quietly, and Dean ducks his head, cheeks warm and heart fluttering, and he lifts up his spoon. 

It’s kind of cold in Kansas in February, but Dean imagines him and Cas wrapped in blankets,  feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries in front of the TV. This time, he thinks, he’ll actually taste the strawberry. And you know what? Dean’s sure that those strawberry molecules and those chocolate molecules are gonna be fucking fantastic.

Especially if he gets to kiss them off Cas’ lips. 

(ao3)

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

The headcanons you wrote for Berry and Rasp were so good! Would you be willing to do some romantic headcanons for the cool skellies? (Cross, fresh, and epic?) I'm so excited to see what other stuff you write and draw!

Oh my thank you traveler! I hope you enjoy the future content on my blog <3

Featuring:Fresh, Epic, Cross.

Masterlist

Fresh

Traveler did you really fall for a parasite?

Looks like you have a very cool datemate broski!

Fresh definitely has trouble showing affection at first, he's never been in a relationship before ya know?

However, he asks his best buddy Dream for advice! He also asked Ink and Error but they didn't have very useful advice

He's not a fancy guy, nah, he's taking you to the skate park or just a random park for a date and doing picnics until the moon appears.

Does not have a house of his own, he's a parasite, he doesn't work silly, so he lives with you on the omega timeline.

He tries to help around the house, he swears the microwave exploded on its own though!

I headcannon most Sanses as tall, and Fresh's probably the tallest (if we're not counting with Ted) , it's pretty common how much he picks you up just because he wants to.

Sometimes he says he's "going to work" and comes back hours later, turns out his "job" is annoying the living shit out of Error.

If you ever want to learn skate boarding he'll gladly teach you with a smile stuck on his face during the process.

Epic

Oh my, dating the King of memes are we traveler?

He's one of the best skeletons to date on the multiverse, lives in the omega timeline, is funny, treats you like you're the most important person who ever existed for him, now that I think about it you're kinda lucky traveler.

Talking about memes, he lags your phone with how much he sends you, Epic does not have pity on your poor phone.

He's the type of guy who the moment you ask for attention, he's cuddling you in the couch while a movie's playing on the TV.

Epic surprisingly knows more about the multiverse than how to cook. He managed to burn pasta. PASTA.

Grabs random cats from the street and adopts them, y'all have like 6 cats now, and one is named oi oi oi... Please stop your man traveler...

Makes you laugh on every opportunity he gets, especially when you're feeling down.

Takes you out to outertale pretty regularly, and every time he points at the brightest star he sees and says "Look at it darling! It's ya!"

Cross

Sometimes Killer teases you asking if you got yourself a boyfriend or a dog.

This is because Cross kinda acts like a guard dog, he's big and he can be scary when he wants to, plus, he works with Nightmare! What if someone tries to take you hostage? He can't let that happen can he?

I am aware that in canon Cross isn't part of the bad Sanses and all, but in this version he works with Nightmare destroying and terrorizing worlds to reconstruct his own.

You're definitely not living in the omega timeline, you're living on his unfinished AU instead!

He's used to waking up early, 6 am maximum, so when he sees your cute sleeping face laying next to him, he just can't let himself get up without filling your face with kisses.

Chara teases him for being such a softie around you.

Cross loves sleepy cuddles in the morning, especially when you're burying your head on his chest while murmuring for him to get back to sleep.

When he gets back from a long mission he usually brings you small gifts he thinks you'd like.

[xaeoism]

CHRISTMAS BAKING (scaramouche x gender neutral reader)

A/N - Going into 2025 writing about the same character I've liked since 2020 wasn't on my bingo list.

The smell of dried oranges and rosemary fills every corner of your home, a telltale sign of Christmas approaching. You've always loved Christmas best, the intimacy that comes with the season of snow is enough to make you want to fall in love once more.

You walk into the kitchen and lo and behold, Scaramouche is standing there in all his glory in his pyjamas with a cute apron tied around his waist. You walk behind him before giving him a hug from the back.

"Up so early? What are you doing?", you ask, looking over at the scene displayed on the marbled table as you place your chin on his shoulder.

"I'm making tres leches, and I always wake up early. But you, awake at this hour? Astounding.", he remarks, keeping up his mixing of the batter and paying no attention to you.

"It's Christmas, scara. Can I not catch a break from all your snide remarks for once?", you laugh.

"Perhaps for your New Year's resolution, you had better change yourself for the better. Maybe then I'll tone down on the insults."

"Oh? But you love me for the way I am, no?", you tease, turning your head to give him a kiss.

He doesn't respond to your teasing, but what he does is turn his head to kiss you back, and that action alone tells you what his answer is already.

"Whatever, there's apple crumble in the microwave for you by the way, I know you love eating those", he says.

Your heart flutters and a smile spreads across your face when you hear him say he made your favorite dessert. You tighten the hug for a little while, thanking him for his hard work before your hand reaches for the cupboard to pour some Zinfandel to pair with your apple crumble.

The tender slices of the sweet-tart apple, caramel notes of brown sugar paired with cinnamon tastes like heaven on your tongue and you can't stop yourself from stuffing another bite in your mouth. You reach for the glass of wine, swirling it a little before taking a sip. The wine's ripe berry undertones mingle with the sweetness of the desert, creating the perfect balance.

Scaramouche turns to look at your contended expression and feels his heart swell with love and pride.

"Don't drink too much wine so early on, you'll develop health issues faster than you expect.", he comments before getting back to pouring the batter into a pan and putting it into the oven.

"Scara, try this. It's so good.", you insist, scooping a part of the crumble to feed it to him.

Before he can protest, you shove it into his mouth and you see his expression change from annoyance to cringing out at the sweetness of the dessert.

"Isn't it absolutely delectable? All the desserts you make for me are always delicious, I only wish that I could do the same for you, scara", you say as you scoop another mouthful of the dessert to eat.

"If you'd like, you can help me finish the tres leches when it's baked. It'll be like you made it.", he suggested.

✧ ｡ .: * ♡

"Now, pour some the condensed milk mixture over the whole cake, and make sure that you pour it over the holes that I've made in the cake.", he directs, standing beside you to ensure that you were doing everything correctly.

You carefully pour a layer over the entire cake just as he says, making sure that you let the cake absorbs the mixture before you pour another layer over it. Your mouth is already watering seeing the cake turn moist from the amount of liquid it is holding.

"Time for the icing, take some of it from the bowl and gently spread it over the cake."

You look over at the bowl of icing and with the spatula in it, you scoop a dallop of icing and spread it evenly over the dessert. The icing on the cake looks just like the snow outside, soft and perfect.

"Now, you can add whatever toppings you'd like.", he says.

"The treat seems sweet enough as is, I think I'll add some dark chocolate so that you can also enjoy it with me.", you say as you unwrap some dark chocolate from the fridge.

With one hand holding the dark chocolate, the other raises the box grater on top of the cake. You found yourself struggling to grate the chocolate as the grater kept moving above the cake. Every attempt to grate the chocolate down the jagged surface resulted in uneven curls that fluttered onto the cake and stubborn chunks that clung onto the grater's teeth. Frustrated, you sigh in defeat.

Scaramouche watches you struggle the entire time, thinking that you look stupidly adorable for how you chose dark chocolate as the topping as that was the only chocolate that he could tolerate, and for how you tried to grate the chocolate despite never having tried a grater before.

"You're doing it wrong.", is all he says before he goes behind you, hands on your own, guiding you to put the grater down on a cutting board to grate the chocolate, producing perfect looking curls that can easily be scattered on top of the cake. "This is how it should be done."

You can hardly pay attention to what he is saying, in fact, you don't think you hear what he said at all. All you could focus on was the warmth that was transmitted from his hand to your own. You loved it, the warmth of his hand on yours, and the closeness of the both of you. It creates a warmth that spreads throughout your entire being, and you hope that it will continue to warm you until the year ends.

"Hey, earth to you? Are you there? The tres leches is done.", he quips, snapping his fingers to get your attention.

"Oh, sorry. But, oh, the tres leches looks absolutely delicious, scara. Let me take a few pictures and then we can try it.", you say as you whip out your phone to take a few shots of it from different angles.

Scaramouche watches you take out two forks when you finish, handing one to him and signalling to him to eat some of the cake.

You dig into the cake first, stuffing a large portion straight into your mouth. The flavours of the cake and the dark chocolate creates a symphony on your tongue, and you smile in delight.

He helps himself to a small piece of the dessert, however, making sure that he gets all the elements of it in the one piece. He can't deny that the bitterness of the dark chocolate really helps to balance out the sweetness from the moist cake, something that he tethers over constantly.

He loves you, for how you're willing to pick something bitter to top the cake despite your sweet tooth. He loves the thought of it so much that he hooks an arm over you to pull you close for a kiss on the cheek.

"So, was your wish fulfilled?", he asks, arm still hooked over your shoulders to keep you close.

"If you enjoyed it, then I'd say it's a success.", you , turning over to him to give him a sweet smile.

"Consider this a Christmas with fulfilment then. Merry Christmas, darling.", he murmurs, tilting his head to give you another kiss.

[fishparasite]

why have i had so many weirdly specific interests like just today my interests in medieval monasticism, microwave ovens, and berry categorization all came up. who am i?? how the hell does everything i'm interested in come together to be a part of me it must sound so insane from anyone else's point of view

[zachre]

First oc ever. Might give him some more characteristics later on.

I named him Trem and he likes termites' music(Leif's antithesis).

Ex trooper, burnt his fur during the whole giant's lair thing(he was mind controlled) but otherwise he was fine.

Later on he got himself a scarf and glasses from the termites. His colleagues told him that they look weird on him but he wears them anyways because he doesn't give a damn(he loves his friends lol).

Well he likes termites' music, but the music he had listen to throughout his previous life was quite different so he remains a foreigner and sometimes gets a little bit conservative regarding some avant-garde territory, but he tries to and does appreciate it as well. Got himself a drum machine but he's not really good at making beats.

One thing he can't get comfortable with about termites is microwave. He tried to use it once, and will never use it again. He doesn't want his food to explode, having to clean it up, and ending up burning his hands.

Otherwise he's very much of a normie. He enjoys berry juice too but tries to stay at appropriate level. He likes dart game and is quite good at it. He indeed was good at throwing spears back in the troop.

[asher-agere]

Could you write more about CG Natsume? Please, I'm obssessing over it :3

FINALLY. IT’S TIME

Caregiver Natsume

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

⭑.ᐟ Natsume is a super good storyteller! I think he’d be really good at doing different voices especially, which also makes him good for acting out stories with plushies or dolls! Like, he can sound like a totally different person, he’ll also notice if his little one has a favorite voice that he does and he’ll make sure to incorporate it into everything! Each of his babies toys has its own unique voice, so he can actually come up behind them and cover their eyes and change his voice to say “Guess who?” And the little one can actually tell which toy he’s holding! It’s a very silly little game

⭑.ᐟ Natsume loves going on adventures with his little one! It can be marching around the house, having a secret meeting in the yard, exploring a park or a forest, he loves it! He’ll pack a little care bag with some snacks, basic first aid supplies, and important toys like a tiny plushie or a teether! Of course he lets the little one lead the way, this is their adventure after all! He’s simply along for the ride, a passenger in their story. He loves to point out different bugs or plants and explain what they are to his little one! He especially likes finding edible plants like berries to show his little one the wonders of nature

⭑.ᐟ He makes full use of his ability to turn into a cat. He’s very energetic in either form honestly (For his age. There’s a difference between an energetic toddler and an energetic 50 year old man), and he loves to run around playing games like tag! He’ll use his ability for better mobility, and to hide better in hide and seek! His favorite move is to transform into a cat then hide in a pile of plushies, he totally blends in. Because he’s definitely bought calico cat plushies, quite potentially just to help him blend in for these situations. But also they’re just cute! That’s the logic he says of course

⭑.ᐟ He’s a very attentive caregiver, always wants to be near his little one and doing things with them! He tries minimizing time he can’t focus on them by doing things like pre-preparing snacks! That way if his baby wants a snack he can just grab it and go! Worst case scenario it might need microwaved, but he doesn’t need to actively do much for that. He definitely constantly has sippy cups and bottles that already have juice or milk in them, milk might need heated up based on his little one’s preference, but juice is just a grab and go!

⭑.ᐟ Naps! While Natsume is a pretty active guy… Who doesn’t like a little nap every now and then? He loves to cuddle his little one all warm and cozy, always reminding them how important it is to rest up. Just a little cat nap! Also he definitely enjoys making a sort of nest with blankets and pillows, he says it helps it feel more cozy! And he is more than willing to upgrade from nest to fort as well! Making a fort is so much fun, and it makes it feel even cozier! Plus a thinner blanket makes the light shining through look like different colors and that’s really cool and soothing!

⭑.ᐟ If he ever can’t watch his baby for whatever reason he’ll guide them to Haruno and Naomi! I don’t think Natsume trusts people very easily, and while he knows many characters very well, he’s also aware many of them aren’t very trustworthy. But he lives with Haruno and she’s a lovely young lady! Plus she’s always hanging around Naomi, the two girls don’t seem to have any ill intent, he’d trust them with his little one! Of course he much prefers to watch them himself, but he has plans set up for in case he ever gets too busy!

⭑.ᐟ He buys his little one a bunch of cat themed stuff! He buys them plushies, because for one he can hide in them for hide and seek, but also he tells his little one to hug them if they ever miss him and he’ll feel the hug and go to them! Also he definitely buys them cat themed pajamas or a onesie, he likes to call them his little kitten! Plus kitty cat themed coloring books! He always likes telling them to color in a portrait of him! He’ll change into his cat form and swish his fur majestically! Those are the main three he likes to buy, but he’d also be more than happy to buy pacifiers, sippy cups, picture books, anything his little one wants!

⭑.ᐟ Natsume is an amazing listener. He’s always encouraging his baby to talk to him, prompting them using questions and stuff, always praising them too of course! If they’re only able to babble he’ll switch to cat form and meow at them! It shows that neither of them can really talk with words, but they can still mindlessly talk and it’s ok! I think he’d like the use of talking apps on tablets to communicate, that way his baby still gets to hear the words out loud if they want to try and say it, but they have an available way to communicate without needing to talk! He’s of course open to things like communication cards, sign language, communicating through drawing or writing, he’s very adaptable!

⭑.ᐟ Natsume likes his quiet solitude, he doesn’t want to share his baby! Of course if his baby really wants a play date he’d allow it, how can you say no to an adorable little one? But the entire time he’ll just be sitting off to the side watching to make sure nothing goes wrong. Honestly he’s kind of sulking. If it becomes a regular occurrence he’d learn to get used to it though! Slowly growing more comfortable with his babies friend and accepting them into their life! However it takes time to get to that point, like I said Natsume doesn’t trust very easily. He also refuses to use his ability around his little ones friend so that he can stalk them a little bit in cat form. Just a little bit!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

HOORAY FOR NATSUME. This man’s wiki page is disappointing though, I struggled to find good information about him </3

[DNI ID: A white box with a grey border. Natsume in cat form to the left and in human form to the right. Grey text reads “DNI if your blog isn’t child safe. I will block NSFW accounts” End ID]

[x-willowk4t]

My Favourite Low C@l Snacks/Food Items (Canadian) 🪽

This list does not include non-branded/whole foods like fruits, veggies, and eggs. Availability in Canada should be unaffected by tariffs.

All items are also vegetarian!

Some items may be available in the US (I added 🇺🇸 to what I knew for sure)

Sweet Treats

Theobroma Chocolat Organic Zero Sugar Minis (Raspberry): 55c each + 4.5g fibre | Check site for availability (includes NE 🇺🇸)

President’s Choice Blue Menu Frozen Smoothie Dessert Bars (Caramel, Fudge, Peanut Butter or Field Berry): 100c each | Loblaws-owned

Compliments Mini Frozen Yogurt Bars (Strawberry or Blueberry): 70c each | Sobeys-owned

Popsicle Fudgsicle No Sugar Added: 40c each | 🇺🇸

ZoRaw Milk Chocolate Bar: 60c per 1/4 bar + 4g protein + 2g fibre | Check site

Snack Pack No Sugar Added Pudding (Vanilla or Chocolate): 60c each | 🇺🇸

Sana Cookies & Cream Protein Bites: 115c per 1/4 bag + 10g protein | Check site

Savoury Snacks

I’m more of a sweet tooth, so sorry this is lacking!

Goldfish Cheddar Crackers: 140c per 55 | 🇺🇸

SKINNYPOP Sea Salt & Pepper Flavoured Popcorn: 50c per cup | 🇺🇸

Good Thins Rice Crackers (Any variety): 130c per 3/4 cup

Good for Protein

Dairyland Light Cottage Cheese: 110c per 1/2 cup + 17g protein

Oikos 0% M.F. Lactose Free Plain Greek Yogurt: 90c per 3/4 cup + 17g protein

Yves Veggie Ham: 70c per 4 slices + 10g protein

Yves Hot ‘N’ Spicy Veggie Dogs: 70c each + 11g protein

Fengye Fresh Bean Curd Sheet: 80c per 1/8 package + 8.5g protein + 3.5g fibre | T&T

Orgain Protein Plant Based Protein Powder (Creamy Chocolate Fudge): 75c per scoop + 10.5g protein + 3.5g fibre

Easy Breakfast

Burnbrae Farms Egg Bites! 5 Cheese: 80c per 2 + 7.5g protein

Quaker Instant Oatmeal Lightly Sweetened Maple & Brown Sugar: 140c each

Western Family Egg White Breakfast Bites: 150c per 2 + 14g protein | Save-On Foods

Easy Lunch/Dinner

Michelina’s Lasagna Alfredo with Broccoli and Cheese: 280c each + 11g protein

Michelina’s Rigatoni Pomodoro: 250c each

President’s Choice Spaghetti Cacio E Pepe: 300c each + 14g protein | Loblaws-owned

Green Giant Valley Selections Cheddar Pasta with Vegetables: 210c per serving + 4g fibre

Annie’s White Cheddar Macaroni & Cheese (Microwave cup): 220c each

Healthy Choices Cauliflower Curry Power Bowl: 290c each + 15g protein + 8g fibre

Plant Up Asian Dumplings: <250c per serving, check in-store

Plant Up Shawarma Bites: <250c per serving, check in-store

[hairspraywhore]

I wrote this short story a while ago and I still like it. My friends hate it and I enjoy tormenting them lol, I thought I’d share it here

How to Grow Strawberries

It’s very simple to grow strawberries if you follow the steps.

So a strawberry is covered in seeds, you know? So you take off the seeds and eat them, they’re very good, obviously.

Once the strawberry is picked clean, so to say, you’ll want to twist it and pull it in half. Inside, there’s a little goop, a sort of liquid. Pinkish. Now you may be a tad put off, seeing as nobody really wants a little goop in their strawberries, but don’t worry.

Once you take out the goop(which you should) you can eat the strawberry and it’ll be delicious.

Now if you look closely in the goop, you’ll see a sort of shape inside, moving and twisting as living creatures often do. You then place this into a microwave, heat it up for a few moments, and it’ll begin to grow.

Raise your new child for their formative years and well past then, until you have an almost fully grown darling strawberry boy. You love him dearly(of course), and part all of your knowledge onto him.

Eventually, you send him out on an errand. You place the keys to your Berry truck in his hands, seeing as you have taught him how to drive, and ask him politely to fetch strawberries. Him, being a kind and thoughtful son, obliges.

He drives off to the strawberry factory(where they are made), marvels at the new sights and gets down to his work. He plucks as many strawberries as he can possibly pluck and loads them all into the back. The truck is full now, nearly to bursting, and he is satisfied with his work.

He walks back to the front of the truck and climbs in, beginning to drive back home.

It is night.

On the highway, driving carefully down winding mountain roads, he hears whispers come from the back of the truck.

The strawberries know him; he is their brother lost and changed. They call to him, and their mournful voices are recognized somewhere buried deep within. They beg him to speak to them. They miss him so.

He pulls over.

The truck is nestled between the road and a flimsy fence, past that a thousand-foot drop down sharp and rocky hills. He flings open the truck’s back doors, where the strawberries lie. He rips one open, though he does not know why.

The liquid inside breathes, reaches out to him, and he is sick with how familiar it all feels.

Miles and miles away, you call him, worried about his safety. His phone rings, and he tears his eyes away from the goo to stare at it. Your name, your face on the screen, ringing and ringing in his ears.

His eyes flicker back and forth between the strawberry and the call. Cars rush past, sounding so close and so far away at the same time. He wonders what would happen if one hit him.

Almost deliriously, he stares down at his palms, now stained with strawberry. The call rings out once more.

He pitches his phone over the fence and slams the truck doors shut.

The truck continues down the highway.

Hours pass as he travels, though the direction is not familiar. He follows the whispers of fruits, so close behind him. They tell him to go faster.

He pushes his foot harder onto the gas.

Soon, there are cops trailing close behind.

He wasn’t speeding, far from it. They were searching for him.

You had offered a description up when you called them, in your worry. They promised you he’d be found.

They recognized him, in the pinkish-white truck hand-painted with strawberries.

They pursued, shouting at him to stop and slow down. They would talk things over, bring him back home. You’re worrying your parent, boy. What are you doing this for?

His brothers tell him to turn right. He does.

The mountain is far behind now, as the truck barrels through a grassy field.

Cop cars aren’t meant for grass. They follow him, still, but slower.

Their shouts grow louder. He hates it when people yell. He always did.

His brothers’ whispers are gone now, and the grass is growing taller as the truck barrels on.

His hands are shaking on the wheel. He feels the tears well up in his eyes, and he leans down, leaning his head on his knuckles. He is human enough to give up.

Look up. His brothers whisper. Look.

He does.

The sunrise breaks the dawn in shattering rays of light, multicolored sunbeams sweeping the darkness from the sky. Waves of reds and oranges and yellows fill the air, and the field is tinted with it, glowing like a sea of gold. He cries. It is from somewhere far beyond his soul.

The cops are closer, almost to the back of the truck.

The strawberries sound like they’re centimeters away. Let go, they say. Let go.

He takes his hands off of the steering wheel.

The grass is high and beautiful as it closes around him. The truck disappears in moments.

It’s quiet now, save for the police sirens.

The cops search for him in their little cars, though they give up fairly quickly. The grasses are like a maze.

They did, eventually, find the truck. On its side, completely empty. No driver.

They pace for a few moments, talking amongst themselves. Mostly about what they’ll say to you. What will they say to you? They pace faster.

A swarm of butterflies rise into the air, and it begins to rain.

The butterflies melt beneath the raindrops, disappearing as if they were never truly there, yet real all the same.

The cops stare at the sky, scratching their heads, and the grasses twist around them too.

In a far more peculiar manner, like dishcloths propelled on twirling strings. They’re never seen again, either.

You receive the news, grimly summarized, from the police chief. He was rather distraught, not as much as you were, more on the side of disturbed. He had lost two men, or so you had heard. To what, he didn’t know. Neither did you.

You mourn. Of course. Your misery brings you to starvation, and that in turn leads you to hunger. Miserable, clawing hunger. You must allow yourself to eat again.

A quick order on Amazon, and the package is at your house. Blueberries. You eat a few. Once your hunger is satiated, for a moment, you’ll want to open the remaining blueberries. Inside, there’s a few seeds. If you plant these seeds, and offer them adequate care, they’ll grow.

Into strawberries, that is.

It’s rather simple to grow strawberries if you follow the steps.

[clatterbane]

New easy batch underway!

(Behind it in the 2L bottle: some even easier apple juice and blackcurrant drink concentrate stuff I got going yesterday.)

I had actually been meaning to do this for a while. Over a year ago, I made one experimental batch to basically use up the leftover raspberry-blueberry jam and blueberries from putting together that birthday cake for Mr. C. That one turned out delicious enough that I wanted to make another bigger batch similar to it.

Actually picked up ingredients for it, and failed to use them until now. 😅

We've had some more of the same basic type of jam open in the fridge for a while now, so may as well go ahead with it before that can mold!

This is a saucier, squeezy kind. But, it is high fruit and the flavor was really good.

Other major ingredients: whole bottles of raspberry juice drink syrup, and more fairly cheap basic wildflower honey.

Letting the jam sit with the little bit of bottle rinsing water and some pectic enzyme to help break it down, until the next day.

The basic plan here, plus enough water to top it up to 4L. Should come out somewhere in the 11-12% ABV range, and also leave some headspace in the fermenting jar.

The microwave-thawed berries today, before mashing them up with a little more pectic enzyme:

That does have more variety of berries than the last batch--with some blackberries, raspberries, and redcurrants in there too. It's all good. I used what was left in an open bag, and made up the rest of the weight with blueberries. Actually went to 380g, because the rest of the blueberries were frozen into a big clump and I called it good enough.

Let that sit for a couple hours with the now completely runny jam mixture for the enzyme to work, while I also waited for a pan of water to come up at least close to room temperature. Then just mix everything together in the jar, get an initial gravity reading, and add the yeast.

It may not turn out exactly like the other stuff, but hard to see how this wouldn't be pretty good.

[tightwadspoonies]

I am allergic to all nightshades (tomato, potato, peppers, eggplant) as well as shellfish. I'm also physically disabled, so standing at the stove or counter for long periods of time is painful. My food options are so limited as a result, and I end up relying on frozen foods more than I'd like. Any ideas?

Trail mix: Lots of things can be purchased in pre-sized pieces from bulk stores and mixed in zipper bags. I recommend dried fruit or berries without added sugar, seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, etc..), nuts, and puffed grain or cereal pieces. Making your own mix is usually a healthier and more customizable option than buying pre-made, so you can expand it out to a meal or just eat as a snack.

Meal shakes- Combine a regular smoothie recipe with some heavy cream or nut butter for more calories. These are much easier to clean up after if you use a stick blender and rinse it off immediately.

The following recipes minimize prep, or allow prep to be done at a different time than the meal will be consumed:

Sheet pan meals: Cut pieces of 2 different vegetables (sweet potato, onion, broccoli, green beans, cauliflower, etc...) and a meat (chicken, sausage links, beef, pork, etc...) into 1-inch cubes, toss in oil of choice with spices of choice (I like garlic, onion, salt, and black pepper), lay on a sheet pan, and bake until the meat is cooked through (30-45mins at 350F).

The chopping can be done seated and/or done ahead on a good day (or even purchased pre-cut at some supermarkets) and frozen (lay on a baking tray in the freezer for an hour, then put in a zipper bag) for a quick meal on a bad day. You can cut down on dishes by lining the pan you freeze or cook with in parchment paper.

Instant Pot or slow cooker meals: Put some meat, roughly chopped onions, spices of choice, oil of choice, and broth in a slow cooker or instant pot, set to appropriate settings and wait.

Make rice or other starch ahead of time and freeze in portions. Then all you have to do is microwave it to go with a sheet pan dinner or instant pot dinner.

Non-nightshade sauces can be tricky, but here is a relatively easy one that doesn't require sautee-ing. It does require an instant pot or slow cooker and blender or immersion blender.

[dilfings]

Some easy low kcal snacks for u lovelies ♡

These are JUST for snacks and I don't condone the support of EDs! Don't use these recipes as full meals!!

(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Banana CUP-cake

•Mash an entire banana

• Add: 1 raw egg, 1 tbsp cocoa powder, whole-wheat flour, (optional: milk/almond milk/oat milk)

• Stir and pour into a mug

• Place into microwave until cooked

• top with yogurt and berries (or optionally dark chocolate chips)

Ofc you can play with how much of what you want in there though it does change the consistency!

(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Chickpea rice cakes with toppings

• find some chickpea rice cakes at a store (usually they have around 30-35kcal per piece and are also really filling and provide fiber)

• Add any toppings you want really (I usually add some cucumbers or an egg with some parsley on top)

It's a good alternative to bread if you get used to the crunch and texture :^)

(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ cucumber salad (tsatsiki)

• add some yogurt to a bowl (if it's too thick then thin it with some water)

• slice or grate some cucumbers into the bowl and mix

• add salt (optionally black pepper or even minced garlic)

• add some mints (leaves or powder, both work)

•stir and enjoy! ♡

Cucumber is mainly water and is also a really good regulator and provides fiber. Yogurt is there for protein and it also supports your intestinal flora with probiotics! The spices barely make a difference in calorie intake but before of salt��� too much salt a day can raise your sodium levels, making your skin break out if you're sensitive!

Have a good night u guys (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

[iammeandmy]

By: Shelly Posted: Jun 23, 2025 This easy blueberry buckle recipe is moist, buttery, and completely loaded with blueberries beneath a crispy cinnamon crumble topping. Make it with fresh or frozen blueberries. It’s one of my favorite summer desserts! A buckle is a type of crumb cake, similar to a coffee cake, that will have you buckling at the knees! If you love this blueberry buckle, try my blueberry muffins, too. And be sure to try my strawberry buckle next. This old-fashioned blueberry buckle recipe is packed full of bright, juicy summer blueberries baked into a moist, tender cake beneath a buttery cinnamon streusel topping. In our house, it doubles as breakfast and dessert! We’ll serve our slices warm and topped with ice cream after dinner, or dolloped with lemon curd or yogurt at brunch. What Makes This Homemade Blueberry Buckle So Special Soft, tender cake. This blueberry buckle is a lot like an ultra-tender blueberry crumb cake, brimming with fresh berries. The cinnamon streusel topping adds the perfect amount of buttery crunch. Quick and simple to make. You can make this recipe with or without a mixer, and the steps are super easy. Perfect for summer. A blueberry buckle is one of my all-time favorite summer berry desserts. It’s the best way to use up fresh blueberries. Plus, there’s the option to make it with frozen blueberries out of season. Versatile. Whether I bake it for the 4th of July, a backyard BBQ, or a picnic, everyone goes for seconds! It’s great for breakfast, brunch, or dessert. Ingredients You’ll Need The ingredients for a blueberry buckle are simple and easy to find (if they aren’t in the pantry already). I’ve included my notes and tips below. You’ll find the printable ingredients list and recipe details in the recipe card after the post. For the Crumb Topping Sugar – I use granulated sugar, or you can use brown sugar for a more caramelized flavor. Cinnamon – Feel free to swap ground cinnamon for another warm spice, like nutmeg, ginger, or pumpkin pie spice. I also include salt in my recipe. Flour – All-purpose flour works best here. Butter – Salted or unsalted butter, melted in the microwave. For the Cake Dry Ingredients – This is your flour, sugar, baking powder for leavening, and salt. Again, I recommend all-purpose flour for the cake. It yields the most consistent results. Butter – This time at room temperature. If you forget to take the butter out of the fridge ahead of time, an easy way to soften butter quickly is to pour boiling water into a glass or ceramic bowl. After a few minutes, empty the water and place the bowl over the cold butter. It’ll warm up and soften in about 10-15 minutes. Egg and Vanilla – The egg can also be at room temperature. Milk – You can use whole milk, 2% milk, or any kind you’d like. Even buttermilk (or a homemade substitute) would add a nice layer of tanginess like it does in my strawberry buttermilk muffins. Blueberries – I use fresh blueberries whenever possible, but frozen will work, too (see below).  Can I Use Frozen Blueberries? Yes! If you don’t have access to fresh blueberries for this recipe, you can use frozen blueberries instead. Make sure to thaw the blueberries fully and pat them dry before mixing them into the batter. How to Make a Blueberry Buckle (Step-By-Step) This blueberry buckle is very beginner-friendly, with just a few steps involved to prepare the topping and cake. Follow along below. Scroll to the recipe card for the printable recipe. Combine the ingredients. Mix and set aside. Prepare the crumb topping. Start by stirring together the sugar, cinnamon, salt, and flour with melted butter to make the topping. Prepare the cake batter. Fold in the blueberries. Make the cake batter. In a new bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Meanwhile, cream the butter with sugar, egg, and vanilla in another bowl. Slowly add the dry mixture to the wet ingredients, alternating with milk until it’s just combined. Add the blueberries. Next, gently fold in the blueberries. Spread the batter into a greased 9×9-inch baking pan. Fill the pan. Add the topping and bake! Add the topping. Break up the crumble topping using your fingers and sprinkle it on top of the cake batter. Bake. Bake your blueberry buckle at 375ºF for 40-45 minutes until it’s set in the center and golden on top. Serve warm, or wait until the buckle cools to room temperature. Baking Tips and Variations Toss fresh blueberries in flour. It’s extra insurance to prevent a soggy buckle, and it also helps to keep the berries from sinking to the bottom of the cake. Bake in a skillet. For some rustic flair, bake your blueberry buckle in an oven-proof, cast-iron skillet. Easy add-ins. Brighten the flavors by stirring in fresh lemon zest or use a mix of blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries. Frequently Asked Questions What’s the difference between a buckle, a cobbler, and a crisp? They’re all similarly fruity desserts, but with key differences. A buckle is similar to a coffee cake, while a cobbler has a blueberry filling baked underneath a layer of crispy batter. Likewise, a crisp is blueberry filling with a crunchy oat topping. Why is it called a buckle? The name comes from how the dessert bakes: A buckle rises in the oven while it bakes, and then “buckles” or sinks underneath the weight of the crumble topping. How to Store a Blueberry Buckle Keep it airtight. Store the baked and cooled blueberry buckle in an airtight container, either at room temperature for up to 3 days or in the fridge. Warm it up. If you’d like to enjoy leftover slices warm, simply pop them into the microwave for a few seconds before serving. Freeze. Alternatively, you can freeze this cake for up to 2 months. Thaw the buckle in the fridge or at room temperature when you’re ready to serve. Print clock clock iconcutlery cutlery iconflag flag iconfolder folder iconinstagram instagram iconpinterest pinterest iconfacebook facebook iconprint print iconsquares squares iconheart heart iconheart solid heart solid icon Description This easy blueberry buckle is moist, buttery, and loaded with blueberries beneath a crispy cinnamon crumble topping. Make it with fresh or frozen blueberries! Crumb Topping 1/3 cup granulated sugar 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1/4 cup butter, melted Cake 2 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 1/4 cup butter, room temperature 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1 large egg 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/2 cup milk 2 cups fresh blueberries *see note Crumb Topping: In a medium bowl, combine the sugar, cinnamon, salt, flour, and melted butter. Set aside while you make your cake batter. Cake: Preheat the oven to 375°F. Coat a 9×9-inch baking pan with nonstick spray and set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. In the bowl of your stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, mix the butter, sugar, egg, and vanilla together on medium speed for 2 minutes until smooth, scraping the sides of the bowl as necessary. With the mixer on low, add the flour mixture and milk into the mixer in alternating amounts, beginning and ending with the flour mixture, stirring until just combined. Don’t overmix. Stir in the blueberries and spread the batter into the prepared pan. Take the reserved crumb topping and break it apart with your fingers until it’s small to medium crumbles. Sprinkle this on top of the cake batter and bake for 40 – 45 minutes until golden brown and set in the center. Serve warm or at room temperature. Notes You can also use frozen blueberries for this recipe if desired. Allow the blueberries to thaw and pat dry before mixing them into the batter. Want To Save This Recipe?Find more recipes like this: Dessert Holidays & Occasions Source link

[hexehaus]

Salve Veneficium

Double flame candle for a client. He will get be very successful. He has already received three fat checks from the VA. For serious!! Before our ritual was complete!

What does this oleum do? It's great for chilling and opening up for psychic vision, divination - especially scrying & channeling though it makes tarot reading wild & fun, too. Veneficium just refers to 'poisoner.' To me, veneficium refers to as a person who knows much about herbs & medicine as well as the natural world. And someone who knows their plant poisons, like ME.

You will need:

Pork fat

Olive oil

Beeswax

Or, raw cocoa butter, shea butter, whatever is ok & vegan for you folks & can be melted

Fresh Foxglove

Fresh Wild Lettuce (it grows all over and probably in your yard!!! Also known as "lettuce opium")

Fresh Mugwort if you can. If not, use responsibly with fresh Wormwood. If you want an Artemisia, like Mugwort or Wormwood, for erring on the side of caution, you can try Tarragon. Dragonwort, or Tarragon, is a very spiritual herb, it smells heavenly & it's a culinary herb. The other Artemisias are not, like Southernwood, for example.

Belladonna flowers - if you have access to the little purple flowers with the yellow middles, get some, carefully. Don't squeeze. If brave, you can get berries, but its more risky & messy.

Onto the SALVE!!

Remember to take out your beeswax to soften.

To begin, if there are dried herbs, it is best to boil them in the fat and Olive oil for no more than 15 minutes, under *constant* supervision. Use only 1/2 cup of oil to about 1 tablespoon of each of the herbs (yes DRIED!!! I'll keep repeating!!) Do NOT boil on high! Use your stove's lowest boil setting. The Salve should be a bit colored, but not dark. If there's no herbal trace, put in some more herbs and oil & boil for 12 minutes over medium boil. If too fast, turn down.

If the dried herbs suck, either the herbs are old, or well, get fresh ones! It ain't supposed to be easy!! 😉

If the herbs are fresh, use 1 cup of oil to 1/2 cup of herbs. Boil for 5 minutes and check every 5 minutes until it looks done (like the color or odor has changed). Boil no longer than 14 minutes.

Drain herbs out of the oil carefully. Do NOT let cool!!! This is time to add to the pork fat, Olive oil, and beeswax together (microwave beeswax very carefully). Do the same with cocoa butter, shea butter & other vegan options. I cannot stand by the vegan recipes though, because these options have not been tested by me. Only pork fat, Olive oil & beeswax.

Add a scent if desired. My recipe for Demonic Sight oil is perfect! Or try Cajeput, Juniper and Lavender for a invigorating and focusing scent!

Make sure you have tins or other packaging for your salve to go into!!

For those who want just a simple tincture to be scary or dangerous or get a mild high with, here's the basics with the measurements!

Potion Veneficium

Pint jar (or larger, make your recipe!)

Fresh herbs - fill jar 2/3

Dry herbs - fill jar 1/2

Alcohol (80 proof; brandy, vodka, rum)

Put the herbs in loose, do NOT pack in. Pour in alcohol. Place parchment (kitchen paper) or plastic at lid so it doesn't rust. Close it well. Put it in a dark & cool place. Check for mold & the alcohol level & shake every couple of days. You may have to add a bit more alcohol to the brew.

It is done at 8 weeks, but it can go longer, though carefully check the fluid level and for mold.

Strain the herbs from the finished tincture. I still prefer cheesecloth. I'll never like metal strainers. I'd likely put my finished tincture into Amber or Blue Boston round bottles for protection from light (UV).

A note about tincturing roots - Length of time depends and ratio as well. I used 1 cup Orris root with 16 oz of rum - potent, I also used 1 large High John root with 16 oz. rum - very potent smell. They each took on odor in about 6 months, but my High John is still keeping after 10 years!

Remember, I'm not a licensed health professional of any kind and these recipes call on poison plants. Please use your discretion and wisdom before wearing or imbibing anything you see here. I am just a curious wanderer among the plants, a veneficium sharing my knowledge with others. - HexeHaus 💀

[foodandfolklore]

Kitchen Basics and Essentials

Earlier I made a quick list of Kitchen Witch Essentials, and planned to expand on it later. However, my list was made with the assumption that you have the basics to cook with. So, I figured I'd go over them to ensure we're all on the same page moving forward.

I am not a professionally trained chef. I'm just a Canadian home cook who's had an interest in cooking since young. Not everything I think is important, other home cooks will think is important. But I think we can agree on about 90% of what I list.

Utensils

Knives. Any list about Kitchen essentials, the Chef's knife will be right at the top. But you'll actually need 2, maybe 3 knives. The chef's knife, as mentioned, or just a main working knife. It's knife used for cutting up everything from meat to veggies to garnish. If you prefer to use a Chinese Cleaver, go for it. Your second knife you should have is a paring knife. Basically a small knife. It's good for more delicate work like eyeing potatoes, cutting up berries, stuff like that. Now most people will tell you, that's all the knives you really need, but I recommend one more. Particularly if you are going to get into bread making. A serrated knife like a bread knife. It is so hard to cut bread with a flat edge, because you end up squishing it. The serrated knife will cut crusty bread without issue.

Pots and Pans. I think it's fair to assume you have at least two pots and a pan or skillet. You can boil pasta and cook sauce at the same time with the option to fry an egg if you wanted to.

Cutting Board. Protect your surfaces and your knives and use your cutting board! I see you quickly chopping up veggies on a plate. Having multiple cutting boards can be quite useful for when you are preparing something like meat. I like to use a plastic cutting board to do most of my meat cutting on so it can be easily put in my dishwasher when done.

Vegetable Peeler. There's a lot of different kinds of peelers. Some are fancy, some can turn vegetables into noodles, some are electric; I'm just talking the basic hand held vegetable peeler. It does a lot without taking up much space.

Measuring Cups and Spoons. Super important to have if you're following directions from another recipe. As you get more experience, you'll find yourself measuring every ingredient less and less. But if you're baking, or trying something new, measure.

Mixing Bowl. Your cereal bowls are only going to get you so far. A mixing bowl can hold Salads, marinating meat, pancake batter- just not at the same time. If you enjoy baking, you will want more than one.

Baking Trays. Ideally two of these. Most known for cookies, but used for roasting all kinds of things in the oven. It's also good to put one in under the rack of something that drips while cooking. Lasagna is bad for this. Catching the falling food on a baking tray makes clean up way easier.

Appliances

Stove. Doesn't matter if it's gas, electric, induction; how many heating elements you have; I'm assuming you have a stove.

Oven. Since most stoves are built into an oven, I am going to assume you also have an oven. I know not every place is allowed to have one, but chances are if you're interested in Kitchen witchcraft, you have access to these things.

Microwave. These days, they are everywhere. Some apartments will be built with a kitchenet which has no stove, but definitely a microwave. These are super helpful, melting butter, defrosting ingredients, while being very safe.

Fridge/Freezer. The modern standard of food preservation. Every home that consumes perishables has at lest one; and it's not uncommon for a large family to have more than one fridge or freezer.

Also

Salt. If you're cooking, you're gunna need salt. Especially if you're going down the route of Kitchen Witchcraft. Not a lot; I got excited one time and bought like 5 different kinds of salt. I'll probably be dead before I use it all. You don't need a bunch or even fancy salts. Just get a box of salt; Kosher, Sea, Pink, whatever. Even the finely ground iodize salt will work.

Oven Mitts. Pulling stuff out of the oven is hot! Protect yourself from burns.

[istherewifiinhell]

Carrot Pineapple Muffins

The recipe for the muffins seen here, well. Sort of anyway.

Recipe as written, on a page from maybe a website or book? I just have a photo copy I reprint as needed (read: as the paper falls victim to mishaps)

1 1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

2/3 cup salad oil

2 eggs

1 cup finely grated raw carrot

1/2 cup crushed pineapple with juice

1 tsp vanilla

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together in large bowl. Add oil, eggs, carrot, pineapple and vanilla.

Blend on low speed until all is moist, then beat for 2 minutes at medium speed. Half fill greased muffin tins and bake at 350 F for 25 minutes.

Makes 24 muffins. -Mrs. W. Atkins Agincourt, Ontario

Well thank u Mrs. Agincourt, the impact uve had on my life is not insubstantial. If you would like these muffins id def reccomend just making them as is...

however... u dont have a recipe in your life this long and Not Fuck With It.

Number One alteration that ive never NOT done (well maybe once by accident?) blend those pineapples. well it very well might be to ppls preference to have little morsels of pineapple in there. but a blended pineapple slurry just makes it like. applesauce muffins. just a nice moist texture throughout idk

Number 1.5 is u can make this a cake if u like. i guess thats obivious. BUT. Its good. i had this for many a birthday. ice that shit, normal buttercream please what is with the cream cheese obsession i dont know. do what u like but dont limit urself to expectation okay. Bakes into a nice really brown cake. U gotta bake this recipe like 'well done' if u want it to have any kind of structural intregrity so its kinda? crusty? i like it tho.

Number 2. ratios. in an impluse that im sure started in some healthy eating for the kids blah blah. but its just how i make it now. I tend to increase the pineapple and decrease the oil and use one egg? how much?? ehhhhhh..... like like a cup of pineapple. and 1/3 oil? does that math out? probably not idk. dont do it like how i do it maybe probably but thats how i do it

ALSO. MORE CINNAMON. Live deliciously. could go up to a tbsp of cinnamon honestly. Maybe even apple pie or chai spices. Could do whatever.

Number 3. definitional quibbles. "makes 24 muffins" whos muffins.... i find this tends to make me about 15 large muffins. maybe 16-18 if u want to be safe from over flow? and more if u want to fill em with a jam thing.

"finely grated carrot" using a grater with wholes less that like... idk half a centremeter gives me a bad time. u want like. chedder cheese size not parmesan.

oh also "salad oil" i use canola or vegatable. is that what it means by that? [makes i dunno noise] you could sub with various melted fats. there would be differences but not a big deal. butter or marg or coconut. whatever.

Number 4. Process. Oh mostly just I mix all the liquids together and then add them to the dry ingredients. (u could pop them all into blender together if u want) im mixing this shit by hand so u know. usuaully i do carrots a dry ingredient but that might not even be a good choice again ignore what im doing.

and again bake time. Ur really gonna want to check on them to to make sure their done. like toothpick check colour check whatever. their moist so its not a big like. over cook problem i think. AND i think theyre really good after sitting in the fridge or freezer and getting reheated (fresh baked goods are soooo tasty but a microwave is also a wonderful invention)

post thought. the jam. i dont usually fill these muffins usually i save that for applesauce ones, but i did last time. i tend to just heat whatever frozen berries, little lemon or lime juice. uhhhh maybe 1/4 cup of sugar? in a small sauce pan. how much fruit. ??? enough. i fill each muffin with like. a tablespoon. so idk. math that one out. needs to be a thick sauce! (however if its TOO thick then u also lose out on messy pick apart muffin treat. ur call) and chilled. if u wanna avoid Big Mess Muffin. lmao. u could swril the jam in or whatever else to but. effort.