We don't talk enough about the fact that Amelia Pond, s5 Amelia Pond, before the timeline is reset, isn't just a normal orphan. Her parents didn't die, didn't abandon her, and didn't send her away. They never existed in the first place.
And if her parents never existed, then Amelia cannot exist. She is a causal impossibility.
"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces." A photograph. A face carved into an apple. Yes. Sure.
A child.
Now that's too big, surely.
But that's what she is. She is exactly the same as these things. A trace. An echo of something that could never be, never was, never could have been.
And the universe should never allow it. A whole person, that's just too much. She could not have continued to exist indefinitely, in normal circumstances, after her parents never existed.
In normal circumstances.
Because the Doctor didn't just save her from things coming out of the crack in her wall. He saved her from going into it. And he didn't just save her from the threat of going into it simply because of its vicinity.
No, by arriving when he did, he interrupted a process that was probably already in motion. And then by arriving again only moments later on a cosmic relative timestream (too quickly for the process to complete) and yet in the local relative timestream, years later --- years of a potential future caught midway through the process of rewriting -- he solidified that existence. Amy is a creature from another timeline, caught in amber. The Doctor prevented her from never existing, but only after she could already never exist.
And so, no one around Amelia thinks about it. Neither does she. There's some kind of consciousness block, because if you thought about it, really thought about it, for two seconds you'd realize she cannot exist. And the human mind can't deal with that. So, to protect itself, everyone's brain simply slides off it before ever noticing. They just assume that her existence makes sense, and don't question it, and don't notice what they don't question, that is staring them in the face.
But of course, to some extent they do notice. They can't think it, but they notice subconsciously that there's something they can't think. They notice there's something wrong with her, something uncanny. And they don't like it, and they alienate her even more because of it.
"Does it ever bother you Pond that your life existence doesn't make any sense?"
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so instead of get back into art after the basic recovery of my surgery, I instead replayed Mario and Luigi Partners in Time…and why does nobody talk about this game?? Hardly ever see it in the Super Mario tag. Like. It’s actually insane how dark it gets. People die. Like actually die. Not as dark as SPM but like we see the dead spirits of Toads get siphoned through tubes. They had their life force sucked out of them via genetically modified trees. Yoshis were eaten by a larger alien Yoshi and were gonna be turned into more alien Yoshis via a factory IN THE GIANT ALIEN YOSHI. We see a town that’s literally just “Christmas is Cancelled” the city. Their mayor probably died. We never see these places restored because there are no survivors to restore them. The citizens of Hollijolli village probably all died by the time the bros shut down the Vim factory. And also there’s the entire scene with the Star Gate. Like. Hello??
maybe I’ll stream or let’s play this game and share it here because I think. More ppl should talk about Partners in Time. I’ll say it too: I like it more than Bowser’s Inside Story. By like a LOT. That’s my ramble for the night. Ttyd day tomorrow. Yippee
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Thirteen gutted me. You’re such an amazing writer. Your Emilie is one of the best I’ve read. It’s difficult to reconcile the woman who allowed or even promoted Adrien’s isolation and the perfect, loving mother that Adrien remembers. You reconcile that so amazingly that I’m a bit ashamed of ever having trouble reconciling it in the first place. Of course she is this way. It falls so naturally even though it must have taken great care and thought for you to form these conclusions about her. You really bring out the horror in Adrien’s childhood- not just from an onlookers perspective- but by focusing on the subjective experience of someone treated as a doll and not knowing any better but to be satisfied with it. You write better than many published authors I’ve read. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your story. I write too and every once in a while I come across a fic writer who really makes me feel this humbling sting of awe and envy. You’re definitely one of those people ❤️ Keep doing what you’re doing. You have a gift.
PS: now that you watched/read Ouran, are you considering writing any Tamaki centered stories? No pressure but he is my pre-Adrien blorbo so I would love to read your prose on him!
this ask is so so special to me i've just been like. keeping it safe in my heart and my inbox 😂 thank you so so so much, I don't even have the words!! i've (shockingly) spent a lot of time over the last several months trying to reconcile everything emilie must have been (which is hard!! it's so hard i spent a long time before i landed somewhere I liked) and it means so much that the way i've written her in thirteen rings true to you!! and AUGH "focusing on the subjective experience of someone treated as a doll and not knowing any better but to be satisfied with it" YES YES that's exactly it!!! yes!! so much of writing young adrien to me is about him genuinely not knowing that this isn't normal, that he deserves better, that it's okay for him to want better. I can tell just from this ask that you are a wonderful writer and I have to urge you to keep doing what you're doing too!! and thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement, it honestly means the world. <33
(ps I don't plan on writing any tamaki centered stories but SHAMELESS PLUG my dearest friend @marimbles has and I cant recommend it enough. honestly.)
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my mom straight up told my cousin that I'm starving myself, and just now at Walmart she was looking at ice cream and she looked at me and went "It's not like you're gonna eat any, anyway" like hey maybe Shut Up and don't talk about my fucking eating habits???? especially don't tell people im starving myself??? hello????
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not to make the only analysis of her ever bc no one talks about drop dead gorgeous but thinking about how lisa swenson spends much of the movie talking about her (gay) older brother peter and his drag shows and his acting with so much love and how her room is covered in posters for broadway shows and it and nyc (famously/stereotypically gay city, esp broadway) are recurring motifs with her and how much of her character is centered on him. on his performance, especially of femininity. and how joining the pageant (a performance of femininity) is just what girls do in mount rose. and how when she quits (the "just what girls do" performance of femininity) and gives amber her costume so she can compete despite an establishment (gladys leeman and all she represents as far as class and privilege and gender performance go) stacked against her, she says it's fine because she wouldn't win, comparing herself to peter, saying, "this family only needs one liza and peter's got much better legs". one of them can perform femininity in a way that's fun and impressive and she's not it, to her. how she says her parents won't be that mad since they only had her to give peter one of her kidneys, as if it doesn't matter, just a sad fact of her life that she is second to him. how she is second to him, how this is gendered. how she gives amber a suit in a performance that's all dresses, how that nyc-stained (and thus queer-stained) costume is eventually what carries her to the top, to the national level of girl performance, which she walks away from as it falls apart due to capitalistic corruption (tax evasion/fraud, specifically). how they kiss each other's cheeks and hold each other. how she is more upset than amber is that she doesn't win, how when her father scolds her for quitting by comparing her to peter, she screams that he's gay. how it sounds like that's something obvious to her that he didn't know, either because peter told her or because she sees his queerness in his actions. how she is filled with such a genuine passion and love and charisma that despite all this she does not feel like a character made as a plot device, whose sole trait is that she loves her gay broadway brother, but that she is a young queer woman dealing with the staunch, conservative gender roles of her hometown (an early scene has the pageant staff shut talking liberal women and their hairy armpits and dressing like men) compared to that fantasy world of queer nyc, with her queer brother and his drag shows. she puts herself second and compares herself to others because that is how her parents treat her, but she still has her own vivacity. she is a person. and even though she didn't get to sing new york, new york in her suit, she uplifted another girl she thought deserved her shot at upending the leemans' system. it's noble and it's sad and i really really like her and i hope she got to nyc someday, where she could kiss girls and kick it with peter. that's all
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