#Because for the last 15 years I've though I would do that so have children

[dontmeanyoudontmissit]

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[bluedeedeedoop]

My Thoughts on Tales of the Empire; mostly Barriss (spoilers ahead!)

Ah hello all, i have had some days or so to think since watching the show and to say it has completely wiped me of my life force would be... pretty accurate tbh. BUT I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO POST MY THOUGHTS. will this cover my entire though process that im sTill working through? PROBABLY NOT! my thoughts are very unorganized and very unstable! ANYWAAAAYS.

Now I just gotta say overall, the show itself definitely passed the test. To be completely honest, i wasn't really paying attention to the Morgan parts as i was the Barriss parts, since it was literally what I was looking forward to this entire time.

Though I will say that the first Morgan episode was pretty neat! it was crazy seeing that perspective of the Nightsisters again and god did they make Grievous fucking terrifying. Honestly, bravo to them, it was amazing. I diiiiid end up just.. kinda spacing out the rest of it tho unfortunately cuz i just wanted to see barriss..

Visuals 10000/10. stunning, amazing, phenomenal, gahdamn. the animation was so smooth and fluid and uGHH it was amazing throughout the entire show. Acting amazing as always. BUT GOD I CANT GET OVER HOW AMAZING THE ANIMATION WAS.

NOW.

In my opinion, they got her character pretty on the dot. I am SO glad they did. I was rlly rlly worried they were totally butcher her character and make her unrecognizable to all of us but oml they didn't completely disappoint us, she has her morals, SHES STILL A HEALER! Im so happy from that.

Now although i did enjoy it, i do have my own little complaints.

Now okay one i noticed since the trailer and has REALLY been bugging me; where are her hand tattoos??? idk i guess i just wasn't expecting them to just be gone?? they couldn't have just forgotten them.. right? I dunno, but unless someone has a genuine answer for that, imma just keep drawing them on her in the future.

??????

Alright another thing i've been seeing ppl post about is how come she looked so old at the end? I am also confused on that and i've seen multiple theories. She should only be like 30-35 max right?? Because i'm assuming the last episode took place a the time in Rebels where the inquisitors were after the force sensitive children, and Ahsoka was around that age a the time, so why is Barriss any different?

I suppose the one i think makes the most sense is the force healing? I guess it could take a toll on her over the years causing her to look more aged, but still, i'd really prefer an explanation. Also what happened to her hair coverings?? Is that not her culture?? I dunno, again, i really need an explanation. I suppose that maybe her perspective has changed since trying to come to terms with her new life, and her ditching the coverings is a way to free herself from her past? Honestly i have no clue but i just need a lot of things answered.

That's mostly my complaints on it! I just felt things weren't explained enough but to be fair, they only gave her like 3 15-ish min episodes?? I really think they got some explaining to do. Which brings me to my next points.

I'm like... 98% sure that the "old friend" is Ahsoka that she was talking about. Who else would it be?? Like cmon. And if it is Ahsoka, why did we not get to see anything about the moment of confrontation? or at least more of a mention? I guess they wouldn't rlly wanna rush that scene, and tbh, im glad they didn't. It's not some "we talk for 5 min and everything is fine" type of situation. it'll take time. time to rebuild that trust. time to discuss. YEAH. I've heard many people state how it would be more likely and realistic to see a novelization of that and i agree. I would want it to take time, showing the build of the relationship over time, going on further into the story as we watch their strong bond mend from the trauma it's faced. I'm not saying this as a crazed Barrissoka shipper, i mean it that I would genuinely want to see how that confrontation is handled, as do many others and not just as a ship!! It's been a decade! the fans wanna know!

And my last point.

I.believe.Barriss.is.alive.

The more i rewatch it, the more i believe it. the first time around i had my doubts, but something tells me they are NOT done with her character. At least before the stabbing scene anyway. There's too much stuff that's left unanswered for it to just end that way! I dunno man, but Lyn's "i'm going to get you out of here" sounded way too determined for a "im going to move your body out of here" type of thing yk? maybe she could sense she was still alive, just barely hanging in there? I don't think they are done with Barriss Offee, and I wont think so unless we see her corpse being fucking BURIED. Not to mention the UNGODLY amount of parallels of that scene along with them exiting the cave. I've already seen so many point it out. Post-Vader and Ahsoka fight on Malachor?? Back when we all thought Ahsoka may or may not be dead?? sounds familiar hello?? Also a parallel from earlier in the show itself when Barriss saves that unnamed jedi! she HEALS them when they were going to be left there. Something tells me the same fate may happen to Barriss. Idk call me crazy but i will say it again, i don't think they are done with her story.

Thank you for reading my very unorganized thoughts! this has taken me longer to write than expected because i did not predict this to make me have to step away from making SEVERAL times- but yeah! lmk what yall think! and yes you can be expecting some art here and there! i know i've been slacking- Also lmk if u want me to post my crazed Barrissoka thoughts! because aHa i have them. i have them a lot. send help.

ALSO KEVIN KINER I GOT MY EYE ON YOU. BRO NEEDS TO RELEASE THE SOUNDTRACK BEFORE I DIE.

[rubydubydoo122]

Jason gets de-aged because I've seen fics of Tim or Dick being de-aged, and Bruce losing his memory, but no one has realized the potential for angst if you de-age Jason.

Zatanna had something come up. So of all people she could have sent to replace her, she sent Constantine. Bruce really didn’t know if his luck could get any worse. At least 15 year old Jason liked his accent. 

Constantine was a really capable sorcerer, he was just really hard to work with. Worse than Hal Jordan. Though, if they wanted to get Jason back to normal, they would have to accept Constantine. 

“Hey, Batman! Go back down into the cave, and send Bruce up. I want him instead of Brood and Gloom.”

Bruce was suddenly brought back to the breakfast table. In all of his 41 years of living, he had never seen Alfred smile this big, “That’s my boy.”

Jason beamed at that.

Bruce’s phone pinged. He didn’t even have to look to know it was Dick sending him a ‘Rule #2’ . That’s all his messages with Dick consisted of. Mostly rule #2’s, some rule #3’s, and the occasional rule #1. All in all, Bruce was doing relatively good. He was definitely avoiding Jason more, but if he was around him too much, the only thought that started to fill his brain was his cooling body in his arms. So he toed the line. And he doesn’t think Jason noticed all that much, because whenever Bruce wasn’t with him, one of his children was.

“Constantine’s coming instead of Zatanna.” Bruce finally said, “I think I should be allowed to brood a little bit.”

“ Don’t get your knickers in a twist , old man.” Jason actually had a really good Liverpool British accent, “Mr. Constantine’s not that bad.”

“I just hate magic.” Bruce didn’t grumble. He was too old to grumble like a toddler.

Jason looked himself over and then put a hand to his chest in fake offense.

Bruce’s phone pinged again, “Dick, will you stop that!” 

But it wasn’t Dick, because Dick was holding a fork and knife in his hands and mid-bite.

Bruce dug out his phone.

“ Is the bloke with the sparkly fingas here? ”

That earned a snicker from Duke, Dick and Tim.

Bruce stood up at the same time Tim said, “I’ll give you five dollars if you say that to his face.”

“Oh! Abso–”

“..Lutely not, Jason. To the cave. Let's go.”

Jason slid out of his chair without noise and followed.

Constantine was already in the cave, and smoking a cigarette. 

“Hi, Mr. Constantine!” Jason practically glided down the stairs, as Bruce strode down at a normal pace.

“Hello there, Jason. I reckon you were a bit taller the last time I saw you. Bruce.”

“Constantine. I’m assuming Zatanna filled you in?”

“Yeah yeah yeah. I’m offended you didn’t call me first. I thought we were mates.”

Bruce just raised an eyebrow. Constantine squirmed a bit, and Jason shot Bruce a grin. A grin that was so reminiscent of the way Jason used to look at him after he cuffed a bad guy. Before Fellipe Garzona had fallen off that roof. Before Gloria Stanson had hung herself.

“Alrighty! Let's check out what kinda curse you’ve got going on. Brucie, would you mind taking a couple steps back, love?”

He did, and as soon as Bruce was out of range, Jason was surrounded in a dome of golden runes. Bruce didn’t miss the way Constantine frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

“The little birdie here has a lot of magic knotted all up together.” Constantine started searching through the runes, “Was it you or the Demon child that– Aha, knew it was you. Your soul’s got dimensional ripples.”

Jason frowned, “Heh?”

Bruce blinked, Dimensional ripples? Clark, Lois, and Jonathan had somehow been transported to this dimension before their souls had merged with their counterparts… who had died. Was that what happened with Jason? Maybe he should talk to Barry when all of this is over.

“And you’ve got some leftover Lazaru– Blimey! You have access to the All-Blade?”

Jason shrugged, “I don’t really like beyblades.”

“That’s not what the All-Blade is. It’s–” A set of runes began to glow, and the borderline fangirl look on Constantine’s face immediately dropped. “Jesus...”

“I have access to Jesus?” Jason touched his forehead, then his left shoulder and then his right, “Thank you, father, son, and the holy spirit. Amen.”

Bruce ignored Jason’s prayer, “What’s wrong?”

The dome of runes disappeared, “...I’ve got good news and bad news?”

He gave Constantine a look.

“Um, good news is, the spell looks like it’ll wear off on its own…” Constantine tried for a sheepish smile, but immediately dropped it, “bad news is, it isn’t supposed to? The magic is interacting with the dimensional ripples, and I can’t touch any of it because it’d be like…”

“Disarming a bomb?” Jason supplied. And Bruce had to suppress the urge to flinch at that analogy.

“Yes. Yes exactly, but one wrong move–”

“Boom.” He mimicked an explosion with his hands. ”But you said it’ll wear off on its own, so it’s fine. Right?”

Constantine winced and a ringing was starting to form in Bruce’s ears as he grabbed Constantine by the tie and started dragging him up the stairs.

“Stay here, Jason.”

“Bruce–”

“I said stay !” Jason flinched at his tone, but Bruce and Constantine were already in the study. “Explain.”

Constantine fixed his tie, “Whatever magic he got hit with didn’t just affect him physically, it also affected his soul. I think, if we’re going off of what happened to Clark and Lois, his soul merged together with his soul from an alternate dimension, causing it to be all… rippley. I can’t fully tell what it’s going to do, but in a couple of days, it looks like it’ll in about two or three days? There’s a 50/50 chance– or I guess, a 25/25/50 chance– that he’s going to either go back to normal, stay this way or…”

It was the 25th. two days from today would make it…

The 27th of April.

It suddenly felt like the ground underneath them was turning or tilting, or hell, both.

Bruce had gotten him back. He’d gotten him back, he can’t leave again. He can’t lose him again, he can’t die again.

Jason found it very rude that Bruce and Constantine were obviously leaving him out of the conversation about him. It completely baffles him how Bruce was raised by Alfred, yet had no manners. He wasn’t even subtle about it. 

Constantine said the spell would wear off. So why did he look like he was about to say something was wrong. Like really wrong. Sure, trying to tamper with whatever was going on would be… bad, but they weren’t gonna mess with it. They would just wait for it to wear off.

Would he physically go back to normal, but he would never remember the past five years? Or was he slowly going to become younger and younger until he was just a literal fetus flopping around on a table? 

Why won’t anyone tell him anything? It would be so much easier if they did. 

Jason eyed the Batcomputer and then the stairs. There was no one else here, no one to stop him from learning by himself.

He opened up the batcomputer, and the first thing he noticed was that everything was filed differently. Instead of being alphabetical, the missions were sorted into who had the mission and the date. For some reason, Jason’s folder had the least amount of missions under it, even though the folder itself was older than Duke’s. 

Still, he clicked on it, only to find that the oldest mission was less than a year ago. Not helpful.

Maybe if these were sorted recently, some of the older mission reports that he did with Bruce would be in Bruce’s folder.

Bruce’s most recent mission was called “Fun Sized Jason”. Guess that would be him. Jason clicked on it and… Bruce is a much sadder man than Jason had given him credit for. And Jason was currently upset at Bruce for snapping at him, and Bruce had obviously snapped because he was being broody. This man. Couldn’t even follow his own rules.

Rule #3 Don’t let Jason know something’s up between your relationship with him 

What was ‘up’ between him and Bruce? If anything, Bruce has been a lot more patient with him.

Unless Bruce was acting. And Bruce could act, Jason had seen him at Galas.

No. He couldn’t have been. Bruce had said he’d give him the world. And he said it in the way that made Jason know he was telling nothing but the truth. 

But that first night Bruce wouldn’t even look at him.

No. Bruce had to have been telling the truth.

But the longing and the guilt and regret… Maybe Jason had done something to Bruce, the same way he did something to Tim and Damian. Jason still didn’t know what exactly that was, just that he felt bad about it.

Jason exited out of that mission statement and started scrolling down to April of 2018. And there were a lot of cases. A part of Jason was glad they were re-organised by date because it would’ve taken a lot more work to try to figure out the name of the file, and then find the file.

Ethiopia: Sheila Haywood, the Joker, and Jason Todd – 4/24/2018- 4/27/2018

Bingo. The first date lined up with the last date in his notebook. He double clicked on it, when a locked symbol came up followed by a space for a password.

Great. Just perfect. 

He tried the password Bruce used on most things.

Wrong.

Bruce’s birthday?

Wrong again.

Jason’s Birthday. Since the file seemed to be about him.

Oh yeah! Who has the best guessing skills? Jason does. He did a little victory spin in the chair, but when he went to look back at the computer, there was a Tim shaped wall blocking his view.

He tried to look around him, but Tim shifted to block him again.

“Timmy, Timbooo, my favorite brother-o. You’re blocking my view, Hermano.”

Tim gave him a look that was scarily similar to Bruce’s bat-glare. 

Jason tried to look around him again, but suddenly, he was being tossed over Tim’s shoulder, and they were moving farther and farther from the computer.

“Hey! I was obviously in the middle of something!”

Tim snorted, as he started up the stairs. “I could bring up a spreadsheet of all the times you’ve done this to me. We’d be here for hours.”

Jason licked his finger and twisted so that he could stick it in his ear. Good news was, it made Tim let Jason go. Bad news was, it made Tim let Jason go, and sent Jason tumbling down the cave’s stairs.

“Jason!”

Lucky for Jason, he was a fast recoverer, and made an immediate beeline to the computer. 

After escaping Arkham Asylum, The Joker had made his way to Ethiopia. Jason had come across the information that Sheila Haywood was his birth mother. Haywood had been a doctor who was working at a refugee camp, also located in Ethiopia. Without my knowledge or Alfred’s, Jason traveled to meet up with his mother. 

Jason and I had managed to cross paths in Ethiopia, when we soon learned that Haywood was being held ‘hostage’ by the Joker. I went to go check on some other thing that had come up, and I had told Jason to stay put, but instead he had gone to attempt to save Haywood. Which led to Jason getting hurt by the Joker.

Jason started to scroll down more, the screen went black.

Tim was standing next to the outlet with the power cord in his hand.

Suddenly all the scars on his hand looked interesting, “Is.. Are most of my scars from the Joker?”

Jason heard Tim’s feet shuffle across the flood of the batcave, “I don’t think I’m the person you should be having this conversation with.”

“But it was bad enough to the point where I needed a Lazarus pit to get better. It was bad enough to the point where I had to stop being Robin.” Because why else would Tim start hanging around the manor when he was 13? Why else would Bruce adopt him? “And you were Robin after me?”

A beat, “Yes.”

He thought back to the conversation he had in the bathroom with Tim, “So, I didn’t grow out of being Robin. I was… forced into retirement. By the Joker.”

“That’s… the easy way of putting it.” Tim took one of Jason’s hands, “I want to show you something.”

They both went over to the locker area and Tim opened his locker and pulled out a shoe box from the top. “I guess since you knew I was a little stalker back in the day, there should be no reason for me to feel embarrassed for showing you these.” He moved to the bench and opened the lid. 

Inside the box were a bunch of photos of Batman and Robin. Of Bruce and Jason. Tim handed him a couple. The first one was of Jason when he had just become Robin. He was talking animatedly while walking with a teenage girl. He remembers that night.  Her name was Angela, and she had been followed for a couple of blocks by a bunch of older guys, and Jason couldn’t let her go home alone. Not with how cruel the streets could be. 

The next one was of Jason cradling a baby. The mom had been separated from the baby during an Ivy attack. 

The last one Tim had handed to him was of Batman and Robin in an Alley. They had just taken down a bunch of thugs, and Jason was talking with the two kids, Gavin and Evan, while Batman was farther off, with a fond smile on his face, looking at Jason. 

“Robin is the light to Batman’s darkness. Hope to his fear. Every Robin gave light, but out of all of us, you shined the brightest. You were the people’s Robin, you cared about them so much, like each and every one of them are your brothers and sisters.” Tim pointed at the picture in Jason’s hand, “Your light was so bright, you made Batman smile. And that isn’t the only picture I have like that.” He put his hand on Jason’s elbow, “I could never come close to the Robin you were, but I always tried. You were like the Sun. And I could never take your place. Not really, but I tried my best to do what I thought you would. To make you proud. Even though… you didn’t really like me when you found out.”

“No. I like you. It’s just…” Jason could feel his eyes burn, “If I got hurt, really bad, bad enough to the point where I couldn’t be Robin anymore, why would Bruce let there be another one? When- When it could happen again? Or even worse. ”

Tim closed his eyes, “When the Joker did what he did to you, it sent him down a dark path. He was barely holding back his punches and he was barely dodging them either. Batman needed a Robin and—“

“I wasn’t there.”

“No! Jason, it wasn’t your fault. You were going through some of the worst moments of your life, it wasn’t your job at that time to be Robin, or emotionally babysit Bruce while he fought crime to deal with his trauma.”

“But you were, what? 13 at the time with no legal obligations to him. It shouldn’t have been your job either.”

Tim blinked, “ah, fuck.” He sat criss cross on the bench and turned so he was fully facing Jason, “point is, it was just a bad time. Bruce kicked Dick out of the Manor, The Joker had diplomatic immunity, which still does not make sense to me, but then he was sent back to Arkham. Bane broke Bruce’s back, some psycho took over being Batman and would not let Dick and I in the cave, but then Bruce got better and became Batman again. Superman died, but then he came back. Then Bruce got framed for murder, and then the riddler and clayface teamed up with this whole convoluted plot which involved Clayface showing up as you and trying to kill us and Bruce probably needed therapy, but he was too much of a stubborn ass to ever actually go.” Tim finally took a breath. 

Jason blinked, “That’s a really rough five years.”

Tim groaned and leaned his head on Jason’s shoulder, “That was only two.” 

“Then it was probably a… shittier five years.” Jason patted his head, “Thanks, Tim.”

Tim glanced at Jason, “For what? I literally just trauma dumped on you.”

Jason shrugged, “Yeah, but you also gave me more information about what the hell is going on around here than anyone has in the past two days. Maybe a lot of the things that happened sound horrible, but it’s better than not knowing. Ya know?”

Jason felt Tim nod, “I’m sorry we’ve been keeping it all from you. It’s not something Bruce likes to talk about, and for Dick being the next adult who isn’t emotionally constipated, he evades certain topics like the plague.”

Jason snorted, “Wanna know something I’ve been completely baffled by?”

Tim sat up, “What?”

“Dick isn’t… wallowed up in angst. Him and Bruce haven’t had a single argument, and Dick…he’s a lot different. So is Bruce.” Jason thought about it for a moment, “Am I different too?”

Tim smirked and dug out his phone, “Mentally, Emotionally, or Physically?” Tim angled the phone so Jason could see, and it was a picture of a man, kneeling and talking to a little girl. There was a red helmet on the floor, but the man had a domino that covered his eyes. Tim swiped to the next one, of older Jason helping an old lady across the street. He swiped again to a photo of him holding Damian in a firefighter’s hold. “You might be a lot rougher around the edges, but everyone changes with time, especially with the things you’ve gone through. Yeah, you might be different, but I think you’re still the same in the ways that it counts.”

Jason looked at the photo. Without the domino, or the helmet he could really see how he had grown into his features, “I look a lot like my papi,” He looked back at Tim, and then pointed upwards to where Bruce had gone, “But I think I learned how to help from my dad.”

[nailamoonsi]

OC Interview. [Antonio Chandrani-Rivera at 20 years age.]

Are you named after anyone?

... It's already well-known who I was named after.

When was the last time you cried?

What kind of question is this? This wasn't in our write-up. Why would I tell an interviewer when I last cried?

Do you have kids?

I know that when I was 15 I'd go on about how much I wanted a family. Truth is, I might still, but... I used to have such assumptions about the future. At this age, I wouldn't mind adopting children.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

:)

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

What else? Their feelings toward me I know too well. Everyone knows I'm disliked, it's true, but what's unbearable for me is...a certain kind of worry.

What is your eye colour?

Everyone knows I'm red-eyed. Our hearts bleed and infect everybody. ...Oh, you meant what was? Yes, yes, my eyes were a gorgeous dark brown, once. Swear I've brought up a million times by now. Ugh. Upset with you? Yes, I am, actually. >:(

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings especially for romances are cute and all, but isn't it nice when someone you like grabs your arm because they're scared? >:)

Any special talents?

Cloud-surfing. Literal clouds, I mean. Not as good as Raj and his piano skills, I know. ...What? Aren't you well-warded? What's with that stress point between your eyebrows? You know, I did like bothering Alejandro and seeing if anything around him would catch fire only two or so years ago. Isn't that a special talent, knowing how to turn the Protector's temperature up? I suppose everyone knows I can dance, too, when I think about it.

Where were you born?

What? You can look that up on a wiki. What's with some of these questions? Are you troubled I know Alejandro's temperatures?

Do you have any pets?

Now I miss Sally...my baby. 🥺

What sort of sports do you play?

In the past, Alejandro kept dragging me to so many of his games and kept pulling me into playing them, too... Oh, you winced. I knew you would. Anyway, I'll never lose at the oceanic arts, but I sometimes miss those days I'd have to manage crazy goals and all those annoying hoops.

How tall are you?

Oh, I stopped keeping track after 18. I wound up a bit shorter than Alejandro and Diego in the end--stop wincing so much. I think I'm around 186 centimeters. Isn't Alejandro 188 centimeters? I'm only 20 though... Maybe I'll still catch up to or surpass them.

What was your favorite subject in school?

Astronomy. History, too... Sometimes I miss running around and looking for artifacts the way I used to.

What is your dream job?

I know the fame of several Chandrani family members persists, but... I don't find it terrible to do our family's calling, you know. Many of us have been, of course, most obviously alchemists, but also translators, rune decoders, teachers, computer scientists, historians, archeologists, and the like. I'm pretty content with the ocean depths and all my books. ...No, I'm not lying. Who even are you? When I think about it, when was the last time anyone would interview m--

When was the last time you cried?

...

When was the last time you cried?

What...?

When was the last time you cried?

I won't... am I dreaming?

When?

You... You. You'll pay for messing with me again, djinn.

---

The last 3 repeat questions aren't part of the typical interview; just messed around with the end of it! Thank you @ceph-the-ghost-writer for the tag!

Tags and clean interview questions:

I'll tag @scorpiothesaint @halfbit @darthnell @words-after-midnight @frostedlemonwriter

@alnaperera @anyablackwood @ryns-ramblings @lonelyyvampire @autumnalwalker

Here's the main questions:

Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What’s the first thing you notice about people? What’s your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favorite subject in school? What is your dream job?

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 44

The second half of a two-parter! And in a sensible order, which in this project, is not to be sneezed at.

So, Matt Smith, Amy, Rory and River, in America AGAIN (is this the third time of going to New York? The fourth?). Last we saw, Amy was shooting a terrified child through the head. Let's see how that resolves!

We open with one of those classic Moffat openings, where everything is slick and fast moving and tries to pull the wool over your eyes before a quick pull-back-and-reveal but regrettably has a few plot holes. Only minor, though, it's not bad. Amy, Rory and River are all on the run being hunted by Sterling-From-Leverage while they build a prison around the Doctor. He "shoots" all of them and then takes them to the prison, but it's a magic special prison that doesn't allow any particles of anything in or out (presumably including air) so they're safe from the penis-fingered aliens and off they go in an invisible TARDIS. Eh. It's fun.

Then there's about 15 minutes of classic horror as they try to track down the little girl (it's River) in an abandoned children's home to find out who she is (it's River) because she's Presumably Important (we literally know this it's River). They're all given a lil' recorder in their palms so when they see a penis-fingered alien they can record into it, and it will flash to let them know they have a message when they look away. They also draw tally marks on themselves so they know when they've seen one. These two things mean lots of creepy shots that are fucking great - I know I often shit all over this era of the show, but the jumpscares and the scary stuff are great.

The only problem really is that the characters are required to be a bit stupid and useless to maximise the horror. There's a GREAT scene where Amy is exploring an abandoned dormitory in the orphanage by torchlight (she looks out the window and we see her reflection, and then there's lightning and her face and hands are now covered in tally marks, fucking FANTASTIC), and the door closes and locks... somehow. Unexplained. Anyway, she suddenly realises her palm is flashing and the message is "I can see them! But I think they're asleep! Just get out!"

Useless. You see them WHERE Amy. WHERE are they. Turns out they're on the ceiling. That would have been useful to know. FFS.

Anyway Amy sees the eyepatch hatch lady again, and then gets kidnapped by penis-fingered aliens. Sterling shoots a penis-fingered alien and takes it back to the prison to film it, and we get a name for them - the Silents. Silents! An answer! We've heard of them. The rest spend a while looking at the space suit the little girl (River) was in. The Doctor claims the Silents steered the development of humans because "Why does humanity suddenly decide to go to the moon?" as if there isn't a long-attested record of humans wanting to go to the stars tracking back to the ancient world, but look - we can't expect the writer of a sci-fi show about history to waste his time knowing things about history.

Also, they've already been to the moon at this point. We've seen Victorians on Mars, with Capaldi and Bill. Lol, this show. How funny that it forgot that little detail that only came a few episodes ago in this watch order. Trololol.

Rory listens to Amy's recorder, which was removed from her palm but is inexplicably still broadcasting everything she says in spite of being nowhere near her. She says some deeply tedious things about wanting to see him BUT WHICH ONE IS SHE TALKING TO it is honestly the most boring thing I've seen on television in a while. "You have a stupid face," she says. Rory looks happy. "My life was so boring before you dropped out of the sky", she says. Rory looks sad.

And then! Interesting!

The Doctor sits next to him.

"Do you remember spending 2000 years as a Roman waiting for Amy?" he says.

"Sometimes but I try not to," Rory says, which is fair.

But interesting! We've had that mentioned before. Is Rory still plastic, then? Must be, he was plastic as a Roman. It wouldn't make any sense whatsoever if he was now human but remembered his plastic memories, after all. Still plastic! Gosh.

Anyway, Sterling gets the Silent he shot to say the sentence "You should kill us all on sight," which he duly videos and sends to the Doctor. The Doctor interrupts the moon landing to play it, which fair play, actually is quite a clever and pleasing way to get rid of the Silents - we won't remember it because it features a Silent, humans then kill them all but don't remember doing it... it's all meta, look. I could have killed one just today. On my way to work, like. Pushed it in the Tawe. Who knows? Fun.

They rescue Amy.

"I didn't know if you meant me or the Doctor," says Rory.

"Obviously you," says Amy. "Why would I mean him?"

"Because you said he "dropped out of the sky"," Rory says

"It's a figure of speech, you dribbling imbecile," mocks Amy.

It's not. There's no such expression. And if there were, I struggle to see how you would apply it to Rory, a man you have known for literally your entire life, apparently. "My life was so boring between the ages of birth and three until you came along" bitch how the fuck do you remember

Anyway it turns out she's NOT pregnant, but the Doctor scans her again and it's inconclusive, which... lol that is the only mystery in this episode, actually. We know all the rest! Amy will have baby Melody who will be the child in the space suit who will regenerate into Mels who will become River who will kill the Doctor. The ONLY part of this storyline we haven't yet seen resolved is why the pregnancy scan is inconclusive. This episode is Badly Served by this watch order.

It finishes with the child regenerating into Mels. This is just as well, because the Doctor decides out loud that he's not going to bother trying to rescue the terrified abused little girl he's been seeing because he wants to have an adventure instead, and so quite literally and without hyperbole abandons her to die on the streets.

Oh and Sterling turns out to be gay and dating a black guy.

Plot threads! Let's update the board!

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She’s deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not? NEW INFO: Yeah, must be, he couldn't possibly remember being plastic otherwise

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years? NEW INFO: since Roman times, it seems

How does the Doctor survive River? He doesn’t, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? Is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

Who are the penis fingered aliens? RESOLVED: The Silents!

River says she’ll die one day when the Doctor doesn’t remember her, let’s hope she doesn’t mean it

[emabatis]

WIP Questionnaire

Thanks to @sleepy-night-child for the tag!

I'm tagging @chauceryfairytales @magscrane and anyone else who feels called to do it!

I'm doing this for "What Dahlia Knows"

1. What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

Dahlia and Emilie are old characters of mine. I've been doodling them since I was about 15, but it wasn't until last year that I thought up a real story for them. The first line, though, "Every night, after Mother’s footsteps faded down the hall, Dahlia knelt in front of her water stained window and prayed that her daddy would never get better. This practice was to make sure he did get better, because Dahlia had discovered through vigorous trial-and-error that whatever she prayed for would never come true," has been a part of Dahlia since the beginning.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Something like L'eternite by ALI PROJECT

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

I love all of my characters, but I have a special place for Ruth. I love her mystique. She talks like how I wish I could talk.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

I think my hypothetical fanbase would like old children's books, like The Secret Garden or Anne of Green Gables. Also, Lemony Snicket.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

The ending! The reason it's taken so long to finish my first draft is because I must've rewritten the ending a dozen times by now. I did actually start writing with an ending in mind, but with the direction the middle has taken it, I'm not sure it's the most satisfying option anymore. Much to ponder.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

No major animals, unless the incidental birds count, but Emilie does have a stuffed dog she carries everywhere. The stuffed dog not having a name is a bit of a callback to my own childhood, when I could never remember the names I'd given my many stuffed animals. Even today, I don't name my dolls, partially because it feels like imposing human ideals onto inhuman beings, but also because I'd never keep them all in my head.

7. How do your characters travel/get around?

Walking. Again, a callback to my childhood living in a very walkable area.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Again, the ending. I actually really love editing, so I want to get to that as soon as possible, but tying everything together is really a struggle.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) you think will draw your audience in?

The cryptic dead mentor, the kids walking around and having philosophical arguments unsupervised, and the prose style.

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

That I'll finish it, that I'll be able to send copies to my local libraries, that I'll get to do one of those school auditorium author-visits.

[dummerjan]

15 people, 15 questions tagged by @scarefox - thank you <333 This came at the perfect time since I am procrastinating having dinner and doing homework and this is obviously a very urgent matter. 1) Are you named after anyone? Yes, both my first and second name are from great-grandmothers. The first one is very meaningful to me.

2) When was the last time you cried? A handful of tears yesterday. I did something very scary and there was a lot of build-up and I suddenly felt very small and lost. Other than that... I can't remember. Maybe when watching The Untamed. Probably sometime in December no matter the reason, but not much.

3) Do you have kids? Fuck no. When my age was still a single digit, I would loudly proclaim I would never want to get married and have children and nothing has changed since then.

4) What sports do you play/have you played? I really like swimming if that counts as playing sports. I don't do it nearly as often as I would like to though, every other week is a challenge already. I've done aerial yoga on and off over the past few years and I am determined to get back to that. I love being suspended upside-down and swinging.

5) Do you use sarcasm? Yes but I am not good at it.

6) What's the first thing you notice about people? I don't know... how they look? Since seeing them usually happens before talking to them. Hair perhaps. Clothes. How they talk. I am not sure.

7) What's your eye color? Blue.

8) Scary movies or happy endings? I don't watch scary movies so it's happy endings by default. But I actually prefer an open, ambiguous ending, one that leaves me a bit unsatisfied and doesn't wrap up everything too neatly.

9) Any talents? I have always been good with languages, be it my native one or learning a foreign one. Not excellent but it comes fairly easy to me, at least to a certain degree: I did end up getting a tutor for Latin because Caesar was doing my head in.

10) Where were you born? At home.

11) What are your hobbies? Various textile crafts though it's pretty much just sewing at the moment with a sprinkle of knitting every now and then. I love to bake, I could spend all day in the kitchen. Does watching series count? If I am reading, it's also that but I go through yearslong slumps.

12) Do you have any pets? What a mean question. Living pets? No. But in my heart I certainly do. And I also have them in an urn on the window sill of my bedroom.

13) How tall are you? 1,65 m

14) What was your favorite subject in school? It was always something with language, in elementary German (until I had a teacher from hell) and later foreign ones, English, Spanish or Latin. I also enjoyed history a lot.

15) What is your dream job? Translator and editor but emphasis on dream since that is never going to happen. I do really like the idea of working in the costuming department of a theatre or opera house. I am actually doing an internship at the local theatre this spring and really looking forward to that. Am I really going to tag fifteen people? Let's see...

@scattered-stardust @toppingjeffsatur @die-schwanenkoenigin @told-the-moon-about-you @lady-guts @biveganpoetbat @ilovetextingandscones @hummingbooks @istilldontunderstand @sitron-sunni @fanfictionroxs @sorry-bonebag @bisexualbard I am stopping because that's already more than my anxious self feels comfortable with.

Feel free to ignore this or do this without being tagged. <3

[aihoshiino]

A Hoshino Childhood T-Ai-mline

This was initially just supposed to be an idle ramble about how I was curious about Ai's time in the children's home but it ballooned a bit in scope lol so enjoy me attempting to work out a rough timeline for when Ai was taken into care after her mother's arrest and how long she was in care for.

we know she was around twelve when she was scouted for and debuted in B-Komachi - Sarina says in chapter 1 that Ai is 'the same age' as her and Gorou confirms she was twelve when she passed away.

in the flashback to Saitou scouting her, Ai describes herself as having 'grown up' in a children's home and that her mother was arrested 'when [Ai] was little'. twelve years old is pretty young in the grand scheme of things so she must have been especially small when she arrived for her to describe that span of time as 'growing up' in the children's home.

in this same flashback, Ai notes that her mother was arrested for theft (likely shoplifting, specifically, as it's one of the most common crimes in Japan) but did not come to collect her daughter when she was released. Prison sentences for shoplifting in Japan can be as long as ten years, but it's unlikely that Ai's mother served a sentence that long - that would have made Ai two years old or younger when her mother was arrested; according to Article 41 of Japan's Child Welfare Act she would have been placed in an infant home and likely adopted out sooner from there.

in 45510, it's mentioned that Ai once recounted an instance of physical abuse from her mother in childhood. according to studies by childhood psychologists, kids don't really start developing beat-by-beat memories of events as we understand them until around ages six to seven... but it's also true that memories of trauma and negative events will be much more vivid and long lasting, even in childhood.

in Viewpoint B, Ai is fourteen years old when she mentions she is on the verge of aging out of her children's home. This lines up with the fact that, while children who attend high school are safe until age eighteen, children who do not attend high school age out of the system at fifteen. According to a survey taken in 2020, going from middle school directly into work is not uncommon for children in the care system and we know that Ai was working for Strawberry Productions at this time and never attended high school.

Ichigo confirms in chapter 1 that he is Ai's father "on paper", meaning that he is her legal guardian. He clarifies that this is due to her growing up in a children's home, so it's likely that rather than aging out of the system, Ichigo adopted or fostered her at the last minute.

This last point is a bit more of a stretch which is why I'm separating it from the rest of the list, but something I've always been curious about is why the Ai biopic was titled 15 Year Lie. The only stretch of time this number matches is from Ai's murder to the twins' current age at the start of the movie arc, which is eighteen. They would have been around three or four when Ai died and well, 18 - 15 = 3. It does seem like a weird period of time to pick, though, because... well, it's not like the lies only started when Ai died.

However, if Ai was five years old when she first entered a children's home, that fifteen year number would match up nicely. 20 - 15 = 5.

I don't necessarily think it's intentional but the niceness of that coincidence coupled with the fact that it slots in so neatly in with the existing evidence that I'm inclined to go with it. It also means that both Ai and Sarina would have been around the same age when they essentially lost their mothers - five and four respectively.

tl;dr: My best guess based on current evidence is that Ai was five years old when she was taken into care and just shy of fifteen when she was taken in by Ichigo, meaning she spend nine or ten years in a children's home.

[veebs-hates-video-games]

Ok I should probably do the Harvestella thing before I get too far distant from it and forget everything. 13 Sentinels has consumed my brain over the past week, so let's do this before I lose what's left of Harvestella.

I know it got kind of mediocre reviews and a bunch of people were underwhelmed by it, but I actually thought it was pretty great. From what I've seen it failed to find the right audience, probably because the very little promotion it got made it look like a farming sim with kind of a Final Fantasy-style story tacked on, and people who expected that from it were disappointed. When it did manage to find the people who were into what it actually is (85% JRPG with like 15% farming sim layered on top) a lot of them loved it though.

It's kind of a weird game, because the farming stuff is simplified somewhat from games where that's the primary focus, and some of the RPG stuff is also not done quite as well or as in depth as in a pure RPG (mainly the combat), but if the combination works for you like it does for me it really does have a lot going for it.

I'm someone who loves the idea of farming games but can never really get into them and stick with them long term, whether it's Harvest Moon or Rune Factory or Stardew Valley or whatever else. I had the best luck with SDV, but after about 10 hours I just couldn't get myself to keep going, and most other stuff in the genre I don't even last that long. It's streamlined enough in this and has enough other stuff to balance it out that I actually enjoyed that part of the game this time though, so that was nice for a change.

The big surprise was the story and characters and world though. I played the demo almost a year ago and could tell that it was going to have Typical Final Fantasy-style Nonsense (affectionate) (not to be confused with most recent actual mainline Final Fantasy games, which for me keep turning out to be Typical Final Fantasy-style Nonsense (derogatory)), but I didn't expect it would do that stuff as well as it ultimately did.

The initial premise of the game is pretty straightforward, but the world turns out to be a lot more interesting than it seems at first as more gets revealed about it throughout the game, and there are a bunch of interesting characters who get their own storylines and develop pretty well through them too. It gets increasingly serious sci-fi story in the latter half of the game, but earlier on there are lots of fun and simple bits that establish various characters and the world and why you should care about it in the first place.

Interestingly in those earlier parts, and kind of in side quests in general, there's a lot more focus on the kinds of stuff you'd expect to see in Games for Girls™ that you don't usually see quite as much of in big RPGs. There are a whole bunch of side quests and storylines focusing on people's interpersonal relationships and families, and multiple things get resolved through getting people to actually communicate or listening to children and taking them seriously as people. I think that's kinda great and that more games should include stuff like that more.

Exploring for more materials and ingredients or to do story or side quest missions is fun and satisfying enough. I normally hate stamina systems and being time limited, but if you eat literally any food at all you get free stamina regen for a while so that's not a problem, and there are like eight billion fast travel checkpoints and various shortcuts that you can unlock all over the world, so it doesn't feel like you have to constantly redo stuff after running out of time. You just go home at the end of the day and can pick up right where you left off usually (after tending to your farm stuff in the morning, of course).

The weakest part of the game is probably the combat though. It's...fine? I guess? It's both too simple and too complex at the same time. Like there's not a lot of incentive to do anything but spam basic attacks against trash mobs, and in boss fights there's not much reason to do any more than that other than use your skills when they're off cooldown. But there are like 37 different damage types that your different attacks can deal, and different enemies are weak against different flavors, and against bosses you can get a "break" that causes them to take more damage if you use the right kind(s) against them enough.

There's potential there for something interesting, but it's terrible at telling you what type of damage you're doing or what kind you should be doing, there are way too many different kinds with no meaningful difference between them other than visual effects, and I'm not going to memorize what every stupid attack in the game does when I can't even see the little symbols on the break gauge that represent different types or remember what each one means anyway.

Also you don't get a block or a dodge (certain jobs do sort of get a dash ability, but it's not great), so a lot of the time against a lot of kinds of enemies your options are basically limited to just take damage and deal with it, which I'm gonna be honest is stupid and not fun. Yes it does incentivize you to cook food/throw stuff in the juicer and use those things to heal yourself, but it's just annoying going into the menu to use them, and it's not particularly satisfying cheesing boss fights by drinking 14 glasses of juice instead of like...actually using the combat mechanics the game provides you?

If you can get past that most other stuff is pretty enjoyable though. I liked the art style more than most of Squenix's big main games these days like what I've seen of FF16, and there's some unreasonably great music in it. Like they did not have to go this hard in 5/8 or whatever in the farming game about farming, but I'm glad they did because it's kind of amazing. Thank you Go Shiina for your excellent work.

So yeah, definitely not a game for everyone if you're not into the kinda weird combination of things it tries to do and (mostly) succeeds at, but if it is your kind of thing it's a surprisingly fun world and collection of characters and unexpectedly well done story. Like I liked the storytelling more than in probably 90% of Final Fantasy games I've played (which I know isn't saying that much because I perpetually complain about them, but still).

It's a game about running your own farm but also hope and the absence of it and what it means to be human, and I thought that was pretty neat.

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Loki Episode 5 Incoherent Thoughts

Spoilers for Loki episode 5. And also my fic, Scattered to the Wind, because holy shit.

My stomach hurts, guys

I've been texting my best friend about this upcoming episode all day. I'd say I was getting progressively more unhinged, but I definitely started out unhinged and fluctuated from there.

Oh my GOD the title is making me feel better already

Oh god never mind I'm scared again after the recap and the haunting intro music

FUCK THAT ONE TEAR ON LOKI'S FACE

SHIT WAIT DID HE TIME SLIP I BET HE TIME SLIPPED

NO HE WENT TO THE PIE ROOM ;.;

FUCK YES HE DID TIME SLIP

OH MONKEY FUCK

THE TIME SLIPS ARE SHORTER

OH MY GOD I'VE FOR SURE HAD A NIGHTMARE LIKE THIS WHERE EVERYTHING TURNS TO SPAGHETTI THAT'S HORRIFYING

NO NOT THE CLOCK TICKING

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE IN CAPS THIS EP ISN'T IT

I'LL TELL YOU, THE SAME THING HAPPENED IN EP 5 OF LAST SEASON. I TOOK NOTES ALL IN CAPS TOO

YES CASEY'S IN JAIL I WAS FUCKING RIGHT PLEASE BE ALCATRAZ sorry spoilers for Scattered to the Wind

OH MY GOD WHO WAS RIGHT ABOUT FUCKING ALL OF THIS

WAS THAT A BOAT

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT I WAS FUCKING RIGHT I WAS FUCKING RIGHT

FUCK NOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA READ IT AND BE ALL "UM ACTUALLY IT WAS 1962 NOT 1935" AND IM GONNA BE ALL "UM ACTUALLY I FUCKING CALLED THIS ENTIRE THING SO STOW IT"

GUT US LIKE FISH

LOKI

OKAY I GOT THE NAME WRONG BUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE

YES MOBIUS GIMME

NO LAME FUCK OFF MARVEL

SIX YEARS OFF FOR B-15 I SWEAR TO GOD IF HER NAME IS ANN I'LL LOSE IT

WRONG PLACE BUT I UNDERSTAND. ACCENT, AND I PUT HER IN LONDON BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS IN AMERICA

UGH SHE'S SO GOOD AND SHE'S A PEDIATRICIAN I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THAT TOO

BUT SHE'S IN NEW YORK IN 2012 WHAT MONTH IS IT BECAUSE SHE MIGHT KNOW LOKI

MOBIUS YES HOLY SHIT

DON FUCKING DON DO NOT GIVE ME YOUR LAST NAME PLEASE I MEAN I SHIP THORKI SO FANONICALLY I'LL BE FINE WITH IT BUT LIKE EVEN MARVEL WOULDN'T DO THAT RIGHT

NO NOT THE CHILDREN PLEASE LET THAT BE THE FICTIONAL PART

YES MIDWEST BUT WRONG STATE AND WAY WRONG YEAR [I! HAVE! THEORIES! THOUGH!]

MOBIUS HONEY SELL THE MAN A DIRT BIKE MORE JET SKIS FOR YOU

I'M CRYING ABOUT THE COMPARISON BETWEEN LOKI AND THE INFLATABLE GUY OH MY GOD THAT WAS PERFECT

That face was not good enough

Okay the slow walk and stare was perfect though

Wait I just remembered I screenshotted a bingo card for this episode specifically wait I'm gonna be a ball of anxiety and procrastinate and see if I got any squares yet I'll play it in a sec.

God Don is doing to Loki what Mobius did to OB in episode 1. Mo it's okay to tell someone you don't recognize them when they recognize you. It makes the interaction afterward way less awkward and a lot easier.

Fuck what's wrong with your son why doesn't he talk to his mom/dad/parent FUCK I HOPE HIS MOM DIDN'T JUST DIE THAT WOULD BE SO SHITTY

THAT LYING BITCH

THAT ASSHOLE IN THE LOKIUS TAG AFTER EPISODE ONE WHAT A LYING BITCH [No I have a thought though, and I'm sure someone else has had it by now.]

MOBIUS TALK TO YOUR KIDS HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD

WAIT

IF IT'S BILLY AND TOMMY I'LL FUCKING SCREAM

NO LOKI

OH MY GOD WAS I RIGHT ABOUT EVERYONE

RIGHT STATE WRONG TIME IF HE'S A PROFESSOR I'LL SHIT MYSELF

OH BABY MY DARLING

I LIKE THIS BETTER

AWW

SOMEHOW I LOVE HIM MORE

THE POSIT ITS. OB!!!!

IS THAT THE LOOM

THE LINES FROM THE TRAILER

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

IF SYLVIE'S IN BROXTON AND HAS FORGOTTEN SHE CAN DO MAGIC I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO

I SWEAR TO GOD YOU GUYS I DIDN'T WATCH THIS EPISODE UNTIL NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

THIS IS SO WEIRD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

OH MY GOD IT'S NOT THE LOOM IT'S HIS WORKSHOP

HE'S STAYING SO LONG

OH MY GOD IS HIS REAL WHY GONNA BE BECAUSE HE LOVES MOBIUS? I'LL DIE

YES OB I WROTE THIS WE JUST TAKE BRAD OUT OF THE EQUATION AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT

SO I WAS GONNA SAY IRISH BOYS, KEVIN AND SEAN, BUT

BUT SEAN JUST ASKED FOR A DOG AND A SNAKE

THIS MAN IS AN ODIN VARIANT THE KIDS ARE LOKI AND THOR I DON'T LIKE THIS I DON'T LIKE IT HERE I WANT TO LEAVE

Baby Loki would have absolutely played with matches he stole

Baby Thor loves snakes

Take me back to before I was afraid of who Mobius was gonna be when I thought he was Theo and that was the end of it. Take me back even to when I thought he might be Loki but he was married so we might've actually gotten a Sigyn variant. Take me back to when I thought he might be Sigyn and his wife the Loki variant. Hell, take me back to an hour ago when I thought I was just gonna ship another version of thorki. This is a terrible theory.

Loki my god you are terrible at talking to your amnesiac love interest

MOBIUS I THOUGHT YOU SAID ON THE MARKET FOR A SECOND AND I FREAKED

MOBIUS OH MY GOD STOP TRYING TO SELL PEOPLE JET SKIS AND THOSE ARE YOURS

HE REMEMBERS WORD FOR WORD WHAT MOBIUS SAID

YOU GUYS I HAD TO LOOK THAT UP FOR THE FIC TO GET IT RIGHT AND HE RECITES IT WORD FOR FUCKING WORD OFF THE CUFF

AND THAT'S WHEN I STARTED CRYING

LOKI GIVE HIM HIS MEMORIES BEFORE HE CALLS THE COPS I HATE THIS

IT'S OKAY OB YOU'RE GONNA MEET CASEY SOON HOLY SHIT THOUGH I'D CALL 18 MONTHS FAST AND HOW DID YOU FIND HIM

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID TO SYLVIE

LOKI GIVE HIM HIS MEMORIES HE HAS CHILDREN WHO DON'T HAVE A MOM

You can MOVE the time doors??

LOKI GIVE HIM HIS MEMORIES

ALSO WHERE THE FUCK IS SYLVIE

SPACE NAME

OH MY GOD THERE SHE IS, IN BROXTON JUST LIKE I SAID

OKAY THANK GOD

OH MY GOD THERE'S BRAD

YES HE SAID IT HE WANTS HIS FRIENDS BACK HE HAS FRIENDS HE'S NEVER HAD FRIENDS AND NOW HE DOES I'M NOT CRYING I WASN'T CRYING TWO HOURS AGO WHEN I WAS SHOUTING HE HAS FRIENDS NOW IN MY CAR I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE

I'M FUCKING BAWLING WHO AM I KIDDING

SYLVIE IT'S OKAY FOR HIM TO WANT FRIENDS IT'S OKAY FOR HIM TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT'S NOT SELFISH THAT'S BEING A PERSON

CASEY SHUT UP AND JUST FLIRT WITH HIM

LOKI NO DARLING

DUDE YOU SAID THAT LIKE YOU'RE SELLING HER DRUGS

SYLVIE

YEAH WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN GIRL

CASEY

OB NO

MOBIUS, B-15

SYLVIE

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DID THE FUCKING BLIP AGAIN

TIME LOOP FUCK THIS

FUCK NO FUCK THIS

NO NO

OH HE MEANT HIM OH THANK GOD I THOUGHT HE WAS ABOUT TO GO ALL SYLKI ON ME

LOKIIIIIIIIIIIII YESSSSSSSSSS <3

[shrivelfigstudies]

i am doing much better.

situations haven't changed. but i was able to talk about them to the person i felt i needed to, and i'm handling it better.

but shit, dudes. life is so scary rn. read under the cut if you're curious.

so, when my mom was pregnant with me she had uterine cancer (a cancer i later inherited). after i was born, she got a complete hysterectomy. her doctors now think, 24 years after that surgery, that her cancer is back, but maybe in her stomach this time. so she had some imaging done, a biopsy, and we're awaiting results.

this is scary for multiple reasons. not only is it scary because of my mother's health (she's 65), and mental health, but also - i live with my parents. my father is disabled, and my mother is the bread winner. i am a full-time student, and i would have a part time job, but i live in a remote village and there are no jobs that will either hire me, or that i qualify for (that are part time, anyway). so, my mom truly is the breadwinner. she also takes care of about 1/3 of my 33 year old brother's family bills (he has 3 special needs children).

so not only am i scared because of my mom's health and what that would entail for HER, i'm scared about what that could entail for the whole family. there are so many domino effects that are likely to occur if she does have cancer, and i can only predict some of them. they're all scary though. the knowns, and unknowns.

secondly: my dad is disabled, as i stated. he's getting around more physically than he was when i was a teenager (just due to his own stubbornness, and one slightly successful surgery), but mentally he is declining more and more by the month. he has severe traumatic brain injury, has really bad PTSD, and also is autistic (with severe communication challenges). my mom allows me to live at home, because i'm who takes care of my dad and makes sure he eats, drinks, showers, and doesn't run away. i've had to help bathe him at times when i was younger.

i'm going through it with him, because for most of last week, things with him were so bad that we almost had to send him to the psych hospital for a few days (something we've had to do a few times in the past). it was so bad this time though, and he had to go to the ER where he had hurt himself, that his psych and therapist said if he continues declining like this over the next month or so, we have to look at putting him in a care facility full-time.

that would be best for him for his physical needs, yes - i know that full well. however, he's already had su!c!de attempts being home (mainly when i was a kid and a teenager). he already complains about not having freedom (we have one vehicle that mom uses, and he has no friends here + he is physically unable to hike or camp anymore like he wants to), and i'm really worried about what would happen if he was sent to a facility where he would have even less freedoms... plus, he would be even more alone. i'm his best friend. we don't have a father/child relationship - to summarize, my parents were separated when i was growing up and he worked in a town 4 hours away, so he only came home 2-3 times a month to see me and my brother, and he never lived with me fulltime until i was 15 - but rather just a friendship.

then, my partner has had a really bad couple of weeks since he started therapy, and ofc due to therapy itself AND his emdr, he's just been Going Through It. so i've been really worried about him, and there isn't anything i can do to help him.

there isn't anything i can do to help, lessen, or remove *anything* going on in my life right now. at all. everything is happening, or probably about to happen, and i just have to be okay with it.

PLUS friends of mine that i've had for legit 6+ years are ghosting me out of nowhere (not removing me from socials, but just blatantly ignoring me) and i don't know why??? and like, part of me thinks i deserve it bc i've cut quite a few (toxic) ppl out of my life this year, so maybe i'm toxic to these ppl too and they're doing whats best for them??? but they've *never* had *any* conversation with me regarding behaviors they found problematic with me, so i just... idk. but yeah, i have a much smaller support group than i thought i had. and the only person i felt 100% comfortable talking to abt any of this was, sadly, my partner - and i had to wait a good 2 weeks before he was even in a position where i felt he could even somewhat handle what i was throwing at him. (he handled it well, didn't take it as his own, but helped me calm down a bit.)

but yeah. shits just... shit. also i have to put my dog down at the end of summer/before winter, as she's almost 13 and is barely mobile and her kidney disease is reaching its last stages... so. i've had her for literally half my life. which is *wild*. so there's grief in that as well.

but yeah.

anyway. :)

[shinraalpha]

15 Questions + 15 Friends

Thanks for the tag @stochastiz!

Are you named after anyone?

not even slightly. my first name has an unusual spelling which i think is 99% a mistake by my parents but oh well.

When was the last time you cried?

LMAO i have cried three times today because i had a panic attack this morning so that's left me emotionally Strung. Out. then the god of war dlc said it would take 2 hours to download and i cried over that because i am having a Hard Time lol.

Do you have kids?

none. i can't imagine having kids. i've worked with children and i write for children professionally but i am such a hermit with a need for space and isolation that i can't even the appeal in having a partner let alone children.

What sports do you play/have you played?

me and sports don't mix much anymore, but i used to swim a lot and i still love being in the water.

Do you use sarcasm?

does the pope shit in the woods?

What is the first thing you notice about people?

usually their clothing. I like people's style and the way they dress tends to signal fun little things about them, as well as potential common interests.

What's your eye color?

a pale blue-grey that gets me a lot of comments

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings bore me, i like a bleak as hell ending. and an unsettling middle.

Any talents?

i've been playing music since i was 12 and if i dare say i'm pretty good now. i play bass in a band called Pigeon Lips, we're on spotify and youtube and junk. i also love storytelling and i like to think i'm half-decent writer and dungeon master (though fatigue has taken that last one away from me).

Where were you born?

that beautiful tory cesspit known as the United Kingdom

What are your hobbies?

i read a lot, i play a lot of music, and i play a lot of ttrpgs and video games. i'm trying to get back into the cinema this year. i collect spores molds and fungus.

Do you have any petss

not yet but one day i will own a large grumpy old cat called Renfield

How tall are you?

i am 5ft 6in

Favorite subject in school?

i have always loved science - i find science endlessly fascinating, be it plants or chemical reactions or deep space or quantum mechanics. i also adored english, telling stories and picking apart how narratives work

Dream job?

i am lying on a rocky shore, the sound of the waves pulling through the pebbles is like white noise. it soothes me. i can feel the mycellium and roots of countless mushrooms and moss burrowing into my skin. i am returning to the Earth. i breathe out, and for the first time in my life, i feel calm.

Tagging?

@dreamalottie @voidspacecowboy @quasi-normalcy @bae-owyn @excitedrainbow and idk anyone else who wants to do it i'm not your mother

[thousand-winters]

Getting to Know You Meme

Tagged by @ygodmyy20 thank youuu 💕

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

Nope. And as much as I joke about getting a partner for couple's cosplay, I honestly don't care that much ahaha. Arospec and all

02) What was your dream growing up?

Mmmm, in general? I think most often I dreamed about being a writer professionally, but I had so many dreams. Kind of an overachiever little kid, I thought knowing fractions at 5yo was gonna get me far ahaha (it did not 💔)

03) What talent do you wish you had?

At this point I'm consider being able to identify your own emotions and where they come from a talent because oh, boy, am I bad at that. It would sure help me.

04) If someone bought you a drink what would it be?

I'm not sure if I'm missing context here but... a juice box? That's what my friends always say they would get me ahaha

05) Favorite vegetable?

Oh, I adore broccoli. Texture and flavor wise it's just so nice

06) What was the last book you read?

Clockwork Prince around the beginning of the year, if I'm not mistaken. I haven't followed through with actually finishing my reread of that trilogy, oof, too many things to do

07) What zodiac sign are you?

Aquarius

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?

No, but I want to get the Flapjack tattoo one day, and a close friend and I are planning to get matching parabatai rune tattoos eventually. They're kinda waiting on me for that one

09) Worst Habit?

Not stopping to breathe and relax when I'm having trouble regulating my emotions, sometimes I just explode and get stressed and feel like the world is out to get me and I really need to work on that

10) What is your favorite sport?

I did not have one but dressage looks so very cool ahahaha

11) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?

I used to be a pessimistic and most of the time I say I'm a realistic, but honestly? I'm sick and tired of my own mind tripping me up so lately I've been trying to be optimistic no matter what, I think it's helped me a little

12) Tell me one weird fact about you.

I feel like I'm pretty standard for a person ahaha. Mmmm, opinion has it I can imitate a cat meowing perfectly? If that counts?

13) Do you have any pets?

Oh, absolutely, I have 13 cats. Yes, it is a little messy as you can expect, but because I spend so much time at home, they're pretty comfortable and happy, honestly

14) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

... Annoying. I actually spent some time reflecting on why and I realize clowns always took it personally when I wouldn't find them funny and double down to try and make me laugh and I just couldn't pretend and it stressed me out 😭 Having my LOL arc moments at children parties...

15) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

It took me SO long to be okay with how I look because I used to have some pretty bad internalized racism and as my ex put it, I look, well, Mexican ahaha. They knew just looking at my face. But anyway now I'm pretty happy with my looks mostly, though I've had eyebags since I was a child and they never go away, so... honestly I would like not to have them

16) What color eyes do you have?

Dark brown/black? Obviously not pitch black but you gotta look really close to notice the separation between iris and pupil so I thiiink that counts as black?

17) Ever been arrested?

Nah

18) Bottle or can soda?

Can soda, they are nice

19) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

I would save it, honestly

20) What's your favorite place to hang out at?

I don't think I have one? I like anywhere that has somewhere I can sit and where it can be quiet in case I run out of energy

21) Do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah, it comes free with the culture /j. No, yeah, I kinda do? Maybe not so passionately but I think spirits are such a soothing thought

22) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Writing, talking to people, playing videogames and reading

23) Do you swear a lot?

Depends. In English I do, a lot. In Spanish I can't do it, I use the baby version of swears, which is fun tbh, there are studies on this

24) Biggest pet peeve?

People who make everything about themselves to the detriment of others. We're all a little obsessed with ourselves, alright?Iit's healthy to be so you don't fall in the self-deprecation trap. But when you start to not leave space for others and just think about yourself, it gets annoying really fast, and it can manifest in so many ways and all of them drive me crazy ahaha. We're social creatures! Community creatures! You gotta remember your wishes and feelings don't matter more than others' so you don't start stomping all over them

25) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Emotional as well

26) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

Yeah, sure. I think it can be a sweet thing, if it is for me varies in my head every time, but at the very least I think it can be such a beautiful thing in general

27) Favourite and least favourite food?

Favorite is a hard one... I don't have a set favorite food but I like the typical food here so much, honestly, reasons why I can't never move countries, it just makes me so happy. As for least favorite, well... I'm really picky with food due to sensory issues so... there's a lot there but I would say meat? I like meat but it can be cooked in so many ways that I can't eat that it's always safer for me to not have any if I'm not sure about what it is or how it's prepared

28) Do you believe in God?

Not really, at least not an specific one. I sort of believe in higher forces, something not understood yet, which is why I tend to default to saying "gods" in plural whenever I use expletives. I'm not thinking about specific deities but if we're talking divinity I guess I find it more sensical if it's like the forces of nature like in some cultures, instead of one thing that decides everything about life and the universe

29) What makes you happy:

Seeing my cats being silly, sharing interests with friends and being able to create in the way I want

30) Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:

The Crane Wives

31) Favorite place to spend time:

I don't think I have one

32) Favorite lyric:

"And in my worst of days, I want to keep wanting to be kind" (Exotic Monsters - Penfriend)

33) Recommend a film:

I don't watch many movies, honestly. Nimona?

34) Recommend a book:

Hope for the Flowers, by Trina Paulus. I read it as a child and it stuck to me ever since, I reread it many times.

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album:

Recommending Penfriend so hard. Or Eliza Rickman. I just love the kind of melodies and lyrics they both come up with. Penfriend particularly is a very small artist so she definitely could use the support!

36) Recommend a TV show:

Andor! It's Star Wars, but other than some general context, you don't really need to watch the entire SW catalogue of movies and shows or anything, if you have a vague notion of the Original Trilogy and watch Rogue One, you're golden. The show itself is beautifully written, and it has some very well developed themes of fascism, colonialism and racism. There's an undergoing theme of those who have the privilege to choose to fight against these awful systems in place and those for whom the option was never there because no matter how much they try to resist, they get brought back into this struggle they didn't decide. Very relevant to current events in the world, unfortunately.

37) Where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived?

I'm from Mexico and yeah, I have never lived anywhere but where I am right now. I was born like 15 minutes from my house ahaha, everytime I go out I pass through the clinic where I was born.

38) Do you have any pets or animals in your life? How did you find/get them?

Oh, boy. I've had cats, a chicken (I was too little to remember that one tho), three dogs and then more cats. All the cats have been strays that sometimes bring their babies with them, Idk about the chicken, and one of the dogs was bought, but of the other two, one was about to be put down and the other was kept in awful conditions and rescued. Generally I prefer to adopt animals in need because duh

39) What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?

Due to the aforementioned pickiness with food, I don't think I have ever eaten anything super unusual, actually? My parents used to eat crickets but I never dared.

40) How did you 'find' fandom?

I was always in fandom ✨ Sort of. I wrote fic, drew comics and roleplayed with my siblings about the fandoms we liked, since I was very very little. Officially though I got into an anime forum when I was around 10? Which was around the time I found out the concept of fanfic and how my siblings and I weren't unique and super smart for making them ahaha

41) Make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up.

One of my cats. My hairbrush. My phone. My little Kuromi mirror. Hair cream.

My desk doubles as the place I put my care products.

42) How do you style your hair?

Now that I know how to care for my waves/curls more properly, it's either loose or I pin it with a hair clip so it doesn't get damaged. I sometimes do braids or ponytails if it has gotten dirty but it's not often

I get so rambly, I'm so sorry, ahaha. No pressure tagging if you want to do it!!! @oh-cramity-its-amity @justmagicalgirl @neoncherryblossom

[amazingmsme]

What Siblings Do

AN: Yes yes, late again, don’t be expecting that to change lmao. But this is a Schitt’s Creek fic I started awhile back to fight the writer’s block & I’m so happy I got to include it for tickletober! Here’s day 15, hope ya like it!

The Rose family was not a tight knit, overly affectionate one. Even as children, the siblings were distant from one another, preferring to play with their expensive toys alone or with their respective friends. When Alexis started to toe the line of puberty, she set out on her world-wide bender that lasted throughout her middle and high school years. David was already on his own in New York, his sister merely a footnote in his thoughts.

When they lost everything and their lives essentially flipped upside down, they only just began to realize they may not be the perfect, happy family they thought they were. Money can buy a lot, but memories are forged from your actions, or lack thereof.

Alexis thought she and David were normal brother and sister, that their contempt and annoyance with each other was common and didn't border on hostility. After being forced to spend so much time with him, she's grown to enjoy his near constant presence, and wondered why she'd ever shut him out. But then he'd say something snide and bitchy and she was promptly reminded. But David was smarter than he gave himself credit for, and she had to admit he could be hilarious. (She couldn't let on that she thought that; the last thing he needed was an ego boost.)

It was the middle of the afternoon, and she was hanging in the motel lobby to fight off her boredom. Stevie gave up on passing her Candy Crush level and shifted her full attention to Alexis's nonstop rambling and the occasional question. She must've read something in her expression, because her next words threw Stevie for a loop.

"I hope I'm not coming off as, like, an entitled whiny brat trying to brag. But I just miss the way things were when we had money. Things I never even considered as a luxury before, I can't dream of having now," she said dejectedly.

Stevie shook her head, eyes wide. "No, I-I don't think that at all. I mean, you are an entitled whiny brat, but so is David," she said, smirking when she saw a fleeting smile grace the other's face.

"Thanks."

"I mean, you can't really help it. You guys had a lot of money, so you lived like rich people. You never knew this would happen, so it's okay to miss it. Hell, I miss it and I don't even know what that's like."

Alexis nodded, taking in her words. "Yeah, but I guess if anything good's come from it, I don't think I've ever been closer with my family."

"Hm, I can see that. No offense, but none of you seem like the... touchy feely type," Stevie said, vaguely waving her hand in her direction. Alexis giggled and rolled her eyes.

"Well you're not wrong there. I can't help but wonder what it's like to have, like, a normal childhood," she wondered aloud, leaning on the front desk.

Stevie hesitated before she spoke. "Weeell, when I was a kid, we played outside a lot." Alexis listened intently, leaning farther over the counter. Stevie let out an amused huff as she continued. "We'd get dirty and someone wound up hurt most of the time. We got into a lot of trouble," she admitted, chuckling. "Even though I can't really stand my cousins now, we had some good times, back in the day."

"Aww, that's so sweet! So like, what would you guys do? Any favorite, memories you'd like to share?" she asked in her usual inquisitive, bubbly manner.

Stevie thought for a moment, a smile forming on her face. "We'd go skinny dipping in the creek during summer. But only after it rained," she specified, the two of them succumbing to a short lived giggle fit. "We had a few sleep overs. We just did normal kid shit like watch movies and play games." She paused and chuckled, shaking her head. "There were some pretty brutal tickle fights. But I'm sure you know all about that, being the youngest," she teased.

Alexis cocked her head. "Mm noooo," she said, stretching her arm out and leaned away from the counter.  "Should I?" she asked, knees slightly bent and arms tucked close like she does when she's nervous about something. Stevie looked her up and down, brows furrowed.

"Are you trying to say you won against David growing up? 'Cause that doesn't really seem likely if I'm being honest," she deadpanned.

When she didn't answer, Stevie dropped the sarcasm. "Alexis... have you and David ever had a tickle fight?" she asked, genuinely curious. She thought for a moment, shook her head, paused and hummed to herself before shaking her head again.

"Nnno, not really. Maybe when we were like, really little, but nothing more than a poke here or a squeeze there," she explained. Stevie looked at her, something akin to pity in her gaze as she tried to think of something to say. It made Alexis fiddle with her hair as she whined. "That's not weird, right?"

Stevie froze like a deer in headlights. "No," she replied, a little too late.

"Mmmm really?" she asked skeptically. "'Cause you're acting like it's weird, and it's making me feel weird, 'cause, like, were we supposed to?"

"Well- I- obviously, it's not for everyone," she struggled to put her mind at ease.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like, I don't know, like I'm one of those dogs on the sad commercials."

Stevie shrugged. "I don't know. I guess, I'm just a little sad for you guys," she said honestly, her hands shoved in her pockets. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

"Oh my God, it is weird!" she cried, grabbing a fistful of hair. Stevie shook her head frantically, mouth slightly agape.

"I didn't say that!" she insisted.

Alexis heaved a sigh. "You didn't have to."

There was a long stretch of awkward silence. Stevie finally spoke up. "You know, it's never too late. And I saw David get back like an hour ago, and most of the guests are out for the day," she hinted. Alexis picked up what she was laying down, and a bright grin stretched across her features.

"Thanks Stevie, you've really been a huge help. On an unrelated note, I think I'm gonna go," she said, already at the door.

"Uh huh," Stevie grinned as she watched her leave and walk down the sidewalk through the window. She muttered a silent prayer for David, hoping he'd forgive her for whatever hell she unleashed upon him.

When Alexis burst into their room, David was laying on his bed eating Doritos and talking on the phone.

"Why have we never had a tickle fight?" she demanded, slamming the door behind her. David jumped out of his skin and started choking. Alexis could hear Patrick on the other line asking if he was okay until he composed himself enough to answer.

"I'm fine, Alexis just- barged in here and said the most atrocious thing I've ever heard so I started choking on my Doritos!" Patrick hummed in understanding. Ah, so that's what all that crunching was.

Alexis stared down at him, arms crossed. "That's not an answer!"

David groaned. "I'm sorry babe, I have to go. I'll call you later." He didn't wait for Patrick to say goodbye before hanging up. "Are you out of your mind? I was on the phone!" he yelled at her, standing up from his spot on the bed.

"Oh come on David, I've walked in on much worse," she teased. He huffed in frustration, running his hands through his hair.

"What even brought this up? The last time I just acted like I was going to tickle you, you hissed like some demon and flipped me off."

"Well, yeah, but when was the last time you actually tried?" she asked in exasperation.

David blinked a few times as he realized he didn't have an answer.

"I... don't know."

"Don't you think that's weird?" she asked, staring at him expectantly. Hopefully.

He shrugged, "No."

"Well Stevie got this look on her face when she found out, and she said she thought it was sad!"

Oh, so this was Stevie's fault. He was going to kill her. "It's only weird cause you're making it weird!"

"So you really don't feel like we missed out on something?" she asked, something accusatory in her voice.

"No! And honestly, I wish you'd just drop it!" he snapped, throwing himself back on the bed. He turned his attention back to his phone, thumbs flying across the screen. He didn't notice his sister creeping towards him, which would utterly be his downfall. He looked up just in time to see Alexis looming over him, and let out an ear piercing scream.

In the lobby, Stevie muttered to herself as she idly clicked around on the computer, "Wow, that was fast."

Next door, Johnny's head snapped up in alarm when he heard his son's scream, but his nerves were set at ease when it was followed by loud laughter. Moira on the other hand, didn't seem to bat an eye.

Back in their room, Alexis was already laughing as David flailed on the bed, holding her hands and pushing against her with all his might. She had the high ground and ultimately won the upper hand when she twisted out of his grip and shoved him on his back.

"Alexis! Alexis nohoho!" he immediately broke, having no resistance against the feeling. She was scribbling up and down his sides, finely manicured nails sending ticklish shocks through his whole body. He rolled onto his side, curling in a tight ball as he swatted at her persistent hands.

"Wow David, who knew you were so ticklish?" she taunted, pinching around his torso sporadically, leaving him in a fit of jumpy giggled, shrieking each time her hand made contact. “I really missed out! Oh well, guess I just gotta make up for lost time!” she chirped happily, kneading her brother’s stomach as if she were a cat making biscuits. Needless to say, it was very effective.

“Nohoho you dohon’t! AHAHAHA!” he screamed and arched his back when she poked his bellybutton. A devious grin spread over her face as she wiggled her fingers above him. He didn’t know why, but felt warm and fluttery inside. He hadn’t played with Alexis like this in… okay he’s never played around with her like this, but something about it felt somewhat adjacent to fun. He tried to banish the thought from his mind, but was beaten to the punch when she started squeezing his hips, sending him into mad cackles.

“Ohohoho fuhuhuck you!” David snapped as she began squeezing his thighs. That had no right being so ticklish.

“You know, you’re not really doing much fighting in this tickle fight,” she teased smugly, hands continuing down and latching onto his knees. David screeched and kicked, but to no avail.

Hold the phone.

“Ihihi cahahahan doho thahahat?” he asked incredulously through his laughter. Alexis scoffed in annoyance as if it were obvious, which, to her,

“Duh, it’s called a tickle fight! You’re supposed to try and defend yourself!” Apparently, that was all the permission David needed.

He mustered up the strength to turn over and shoved his hands under his arms. She let out a shrill squeal, falling on her back as she fell victim to bright, bubbly giggles.

“Ha! And you tried to say I was bad?” he mocked, enjoying how the tables turned. That made her snort, followed immediately by a shriek.

“Dahahahaviiihihid!” she whined, grabbing a pillow off the bed and shoving her face in the cushion. Her laughter was muffled, but only slightly.

“What’s that? Sorry, I can’t understand you, you’re laughing too hard,” he teased, scribbling over her neck. She yelped, biting her lip in an attempt to hold back her laughter, but to no avail. He looked down at her and smiled. He doesn’t remember the last time she looked so carefree and happy. Her hair was tussled in a way she would’ve been appalled by, her cheeks were flushed a bright pink, her eyes glistened with unshed tears, but most importantly, she wore a smile that stretched from ear to ear. David smirked down at her. “Or maybe just take that pillow out of your mouth.” She flipped him off.

He gave a dramatic gasp. “Well that’s not nice! I guess someone needs to be taught some manners!” He went to attack once more, but the predator became the prey.

Next door, Johnny Rose had been trying to read the same newspaper article since their tickle fight began. Don’t get him wrong, he loved the fact they were bonding! But did they have to bond in such a loud manner? His brows furrowed in concern when he heard a shrill scream followed by begging and screaming for help. He set his paper aside and made to stand.

“Ah ah, what do you think you’re doing?” Moira asked, brush combing through one of her many wigs. John gestured wildly to the door.

“He asked for my help! It sounds like there screaming bloody murder in there!” he exclaimed, pointing to the door behind him that connected the two rooms. Moira gave him a look

“John, they’re adults, they can fend for themselves. Besides, Alexis borrowed a necklace without asking, and David blew me off for dinner to go see Patrick. So I say let them tickle torture each other to their heart’s content,” she chirped, unbothered by the sounds next door.

Johnny sighed, defeated. “Okay, if you say so.” It was probably another 10 minutes before they settled down.

[doctorweebmd]

Because I’m nosey for the author ask…Hope you don’t mind :-)

🙋🏻‍♀️❌💔💲

ahhh NO THIS ISNT NOSINESS i LOVE oversharing get ready and also THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS!!! it was super fun and distracted me from the agony that is writing plot and remembering that its sunday night 🥺

🙋‍♀️ - do any real-life people know what I write fanfic? Uhhh. My husband does but I've never let him read any of it. I do tell people that I write 'fiction' in my spare time, because its like, my one hobby, but definitely don't extrapolate. i'm making the assumption that most people in the medical field don't know shit about ao3 but i also know for a FACT that there are multiple weeb sleeper agents out there. doing medicine. while weebing. BUT. i'm sure if anyone recognized any of my stuff it would be a 'what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament' situation haha

❌ - a trope i will never write? Probably alpha/beta/omega stuff. Some people do them really well and I've certainly read really great ABO, but its one of those dynamics that I would never want to voluntarily explore. Its actually the one tag I actively filter out when looking for new fic. On that same note, Pregnancy/Kidfic. Babies and parenting give me the major ick (this may be colored heavily by the fact that i dont want children and am at that age where people keep ASKING ABOUT IT.) tbh i'm also not much of a fantasy person or historical person, so a lot of hybrid/mermaid/royalty AUs are a no for me. and, probably most controversially? established relationship. listen i am here for the drama i dont care about healthy loving domestic stuff! i want miscommunication! i want pining! i want discovering each other for the first time! i want fumbling and blushing!!!

.... wow there are a LOT of things i dont think i'd write lol yikes.

💔 - Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart? Not to be predictable but yeah. Zero-sum game. In part because it was a very vulnerable place of writing emotionally - both because i had not, for many years, tapped into my own mental health experiences for fear of it being triggering while writing, but also partially because i was working in the icu during peak covid and everyone was dying and it was so fucking depressing and demoralizing. I teared up at a couple of scenes - this ended up super long so i'm going to break it down by chapter:

Chapter 7 when Katsuki walked by the bar his friends were having a reunion at, Jirou ran out to get him and Kirishima stopped her, saying 'we have to let him go.'

Chapter 12, Katsuki asking - are you afraid? And Zero looking up at the sky saying - Am I afraid? And then reciting that poem. 'Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.' That scene I can see so so vividly in my head, hear their voices, intonations, expressions - and it breaks my heart. The tent scene at the end of Chapter 12, too - 'Do you think that's what love feels like?' 'Fuck if I know.' FUCK ME UP. ARHGHH S.

Chapter 15 - Mitsuki saying 'But you’re gonna eventually have to find a way to love people without hurting them. Or you’re going to end up alone.' and Katsuki having a breakdown after. Then later in the chapter, Inko asking '“… I wonder, sometimes. Who he would become if he never met you.” WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

Chapter 19 - god. Where do I even start. The entire confession scene is like punch after punch to the ribcage. Specifically:

"How does Katsuki explain that the first time in his life he considered he might be in love is when hands he’s dreamt off for nearly twenty years (Now just the one. Half is gone, because it has to be, because to be complete is to give Katsuki more than he deserves) wrapped themselves around his throat, making him wonder if love might be a bit like dying, might be a bit like that last fucking breath when nothing in the goddamn world can feel more cathartic - that last strawberry, the last sip of water, the last bullet in the chamber - and they bled and fought and fucked and destroyed each other and nothing has ever felt to pure and perfect and devastating and absolutely holy - if that’s not love, then what the hell is?"

and

"“Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. I love you and I’m walking away from you and I never want to see you again. Okay? I never want to see you again.”

AND

“…What am I supposed to do now?” Inko Midoriya whispers out to the street. No more fretting, no more restless nights, no more ‘what if’s.’ Her son is back, but despite that, she’s still alone. They both are.

“I don’t know.” Katsuki responds honestly.

“Find something else to live for, I guess.”

Chapter 23 - the proposal scene. Specifically:

'Not because you saved me physically – and you did, you did, you’re always saving me, and I’m always saving you, I fuckin’ know, we’ll always save each other because that’s who we are, but it's more than that. Its more.'

AND

“But you need to know – you need to. That, with all of me, I love who you were, I love who you are, and I love who you’re becoming.”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. No matter how short, no matter how painful, no matter how fucking temporary all of this is. I want to experience it with you.”

“Marry me.”

AND. Finally and most of all. The authors note at the end. Even re-reading it now, its so raw. I think about this a lot:

'It all anchors on the belief that you can still be who you want to be. The belief that ‘broken’ people can get better. The belief, the ever present faith - because it has to be faith, because all tangible things are friable but not faith, not this - that you can be found. That you are not irredeemable. That there is a future worth fighting for.'

I have moments from 'we will wait and wait in that space' and 'nothing else fills' that made me tear up, but it still won't match the raw levels of emotion and vulnerability that was channeled in zero-sum. even now, years later, its still my heart.

Wow sorry this got SUPER long. but i loved going through zero-sum and picking out my favorite scenes so thank you for that :) :) :)

💲 - would i ever open commissions? gosh no, probably not. i'm not great at one-shots and deadlines and i work super inconsistent hours and tbh i have minimal confidence in the consistency of my writing to offer it as a service. i'm also very lucky to be pretty secure financially so i wouldn't have that kind of external driving force. but i'm very flattered that that's even a question. 🥺 id happily give away all my mind-vomit for free.

AHHHH i'm sorry this is so long THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME i adore you ❤️

[djservo]

HI it's that time again end of the month it's warming up it's almost summer how did your may reading go, what's on your list for the summer?

the thread vaguely weaving together may's reads: sex, anger, and neocolonialism

YES the rumors are true YES I slashed my standard (as of the last couple years) reading goal from 50 books to a humble 36 SIGH I have two wolves inside me telling me 1. to commit fully to the bit and 2. to trust my gut/instincts — with enough willpower I could force myself to hunker down and become a lean mean reading machine just to barely scrape by with an even 50 by the end of december for some imaginary accolade/clout/tradition on Amazon-Owned Goodreads Dot Com, or I could #BeReal with myself and accept my reading habits of the past few months as a litmus test of how things have been going + so shall continue to be. I'd rather not turn my goal (and thus reading as a whole) into this looming monster that taunts me ykwim especially when the point is enjoyment so TLDR . we're being Real and Intentional and Downsizing <3 ONTO MAY'S READS, FULL OF HITS BABY!

Bad Behavior by Mary Gaitskill

I was reading this around the time I watched this vintage gay erotica Equation to an Unknown (1980) where one of the reviews succinctly says it's "Erotic ennui" — this kinda perfectly sums up the vibe of this short story collection. sex-tinged dramas, though not melodramatic, not edge-of-your-seat high stakes, but just enough entangled emotional transactions to feel as if you're on the precipice of something only to be left in the cold. I'd been meaning to read Secretary for a while now and somehow didn't connect that this was the short story collection it came from?? kismet! I have a friend who doesn't like watching black-and-white movies or pretty much anything pre-80s because they "look so old" (bless her heart) — often (moreso lately) I feel the inverse of that with movies post 2000s where sometimes everything looks/feels too new and sleek and sometimes the mere sight of a cell phone is enough to turn me off. all this to say, I did try watching Secretary but turned it off after 15 minutes bc it didn't feel right at the moment and I wanted to sit with the tepid yet strangely alluring bubble of the original story a little longer. the last story was my favorite and made me cry lolol

The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel

there's nothing I could say that would do this justice GOD I'm obsessed with this! somehow I've read every Bechdel work Except any of dtwof, but I'm glad I waited to read it in this collective form rather than in bits + pieces. I love all the details and references Bechdel puts into every panel — I swear I must've added like 20 books to my TBR list while reading Fun Home — and how effortlessly the state of US politics gets weaved into the background of their lives in a way that really puts you in that time and place. there's clearly so much love and humor and dedication she has for her community, but I love how she doesn't shy away from community in-fighting and hypocrisies — the desire to live a happy and fulfilled life without being a liberal "sellout" queer, and what that even means depending on who you are etc etc. it's also strangely assuring to read these arguments and discussions amongst the friends and how relevant and fresh it all still feels? like we're still having the same arguments and worrying about the same things decades later and it sucks but there's also this string of consistent humanity threading it together idk we're never alone in our experiences n time is a circle n all that jazz. loved that no character felt wasted or sidelined for the sake of a "greater" plot, loved how even the children and men had their own motives/personalities, SIMPLY LOVED IT ALL + I'M HEARTBROKEN IT'S OVER! </3 (though I read they're doing an audible version soon with a buncha celebs so I'm Intrigued by that)

Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn

Magnolia (1999) but for Filipinos!! thrumming with chaos and desperation and anger. Similar to Bad Behavior with its lack of loose ends being tied up nicely at the end. I fear I'm too cynical nowadays to put much weight in "representation" and the corporate intentions that back it, hallmark movie endings with a very glossed-over + white-approved "see? we're just like you!" message. that sentiment is not present here whatsoever, and I adore Jessica Hagedorn for that. unhealthy family dynamics and power structures and the curse that is American colonialism thrusting itself into your very concept of what you want in life. obviously (and unfortunately) Many can connect to that, but this book is so distinctly FIlipino, so specific and dedicated to a Filipino experience, that I can only laugh at negative reviews from (white) people complaining about what an incomprehensible mess it is or how there should've been a glossary to explain certain terms and aspects of Filipino culture, etc etc. I'd like to think it was intentional of Hagedorn to omit a glossary or footnotes or much explanation at all — a big FUCK YOU / THIS ISN'T FOR YOU and I love it. could even argue that that was one of the messages at the core of each of these intertwining stories. I read The Gangster of Love and watched the play in college and was equally floored with its anger at the world, how it kinda spits in your face when you're waiting for conventions or comfort. love love loved this so much, I do not mean it lightly when I say Miss Hagedorn is my hero

+ 2 journal articles

The Bedroom of Things by Caitlin Blanchfield and Farzin Lotfi-Jam — bedroom as theater + the performance of our living spaces as we portray them in images for the spectatorship of others; connecting our interior lives to physical things/commodities as manifestations of the self

The Transnational Ga(y)ze: Constructing the East European Object of Desire in Gay Film and Pornography after the Fall of the Wall by Nicholas F. Radel — pretty much exactly as the title suggests, the effect the fall of the wall/shift away from communism had in gay porn and general (gay) media depictions of East European men. desire constructed through a nationalistic standpoint, the hierarchies of power at play. I watched a few documentaries this month that would pair nicely for a little lecture on sex work + communism in East Europe: The Fall of Communism as Seen in Gay Pornography (1998) dir. William E Jones; Not Angels But Angels (1994) dir. Wiktor Grodecki; Body Without Soul (1996) dir. Wiktor Grodecki

Currently reading Pornotopia by Paul B. Preciado and I'm about to take a trip which will mark my first time traveling with my kindle so I'm excited for that hehe I have a buncha books downloaded but my priority is getting into Dennis Cooper bc I've been meaning to for so long and I feel like several movies I watched this month had been likened to Dennis Cooper vibes in the reviews + I even saw someone on insta reading The Sluts so if that's not all a sign to finally get with it, then IDK what is!