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HostArmada Review: The Most Customer Centric Hosting Platform Yet?

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HostArmada Review: The Most Customer Centric Hosting Platform Yet?

When I decided to switch my hosting provider, I stumbled on HostArmada and decided to give them a shot. It was a risky choice, though. Emerging providers are, sometimes, not recommendable because of their unproven reliability and limited track record. But HostArmada proves to be different. Entirely different. 

HostArmada swept me off my feet with its advanced security and performance-focused features out-of-the-box. What’s more, their servers are hosted on LiteSpeed web servers – almost 11X faster than the Apache servers! As a website owner and developer, I’ve evaluated and tested different hosting providers to find the best fit for my clients and projects. I can boldly say it’s one of the best new hosts I’ve reviewed, and you’ll soon find out why. 

In the rest of this HostArmada review, I’ll conduct real-life tests to evaluate this host’s features, pricing plans, performance and customer support. I also included other vitals to help you make an informed decision. Ready? Let’s get started! 

HostArmada Review

HostArmada made its debut into the hosting industry five years ago. fresh to the scene. Though they’re still fresh to the scene, they have quickly climbed the ranks to become one of the most popular and reliable web hosts on the internet. In fact, this host is often pitted against industry giants like BlueHost, Hostinger and A2 Hosting…all because of its reliability, speed and performance. 

Of course, since they’re less than a decade in the game, one would expect basic features out-of-the-box. However, during my research, I discovered that each feature/tool on their platform is designed to give you a stress-free, secure and optimized web performance. 

Like every A-list provider, HostArmada offers all kinds of web hosting you’ll need – WordPress, shared reseller, VPS, and dedicated hosting services. In addition, they also provide open source and development hosting for developers and programmers. 

Whichever plan you choose to settle for, you’ll enjoy all the default hosting features such as free SSL certificates, WAF & network firewall, daily backups, etc. They don’t offer free trials or demos, but you get a 45-day money-back guarantee period to decide if they’re worth your investment. 

The company snagged a 4.9 star review from over 800 users on TrustPilot: 

HostArmada Rating – my personal take

Do your research. You’ll find hundreds (if not thousands) of web hosting providers, each promising secure, reliable, and fast performance. In my experience using and reviewing web hosts, I’ve discovered that a sheer number of them aren’t true to their words. Even the best of them sometimes fall short of their claims. 

To evaluate each comparatively, I developed a personal web hosting review system that examines key factors such as performance, reliability, customer support, pricing and features. I use a 1 – 5 grading system, with one as the lowest and five as the highest a provider can get. 

Quality My rating Why I gave this score Features and specs 4.9 Free SSL, backups, DoS/DDoS protection, NGINX & LiteSpeed web servers, SSD servers, and unlimited email accounts are a few features you’ll enjoy when you sign up with this provider. However, I gave them this score because their best features (LiteSpeed servers, for instance) are only available on the highest plans.  Pricing 4.5 HostArmada is one of the cheapest providers in the market, starting at $2.49/mo. You’ll enjoy many of their enterprise-grade features at this price (best if you’re just getting started online!) However, I discovered that the discounts only apply when you’re paying for a longer duration. This is why I awarded them this score.  Performance stats  4.7 I tested HostArmada’s performance and discovered they have an incredible loading speed (240ms) and uptime (100%). I’ve encountered hosts within the same price bracket with better performance stats, so I gave them a 4.7 here.  Ease of use 4.6 HostArmada has an attractive and user-friendly interface, an advantage for beginners and pros looking for a stress-free platform. But they still rely on the traditional cPanel for backend management, which is quite old-fashioned for me. This is why I gave them this score.  Customer support guarantee 5.0 Reach out to HostArmada’s support team at this second, and they’ll respond soon. Aside from their quick responses, they also offer up to five levels of customer support – email, phone, live chat, ticket and knowledgebase. This is why they have a 5.0 here.  

HostArmada Hosting Plans & Pricing – 2024

Just like every other A-grade web host, HostArmada offers all the major types of web hosting – shared, reseller, wordpress, VPS and dedicated hosting. 

They also have service-specific hosting plans, such as WooCommerce, Magento, Node.js, Open Source, and development hosting. As I shared earlier, you’ll get a 30-day money-back guarantee (this is only available for yearly payments). They also operate on a pay-as-you-go basis, so you don’t have to worry about cancellation fees.  

Here’s a summary of their hosting packages.

HostArmada’s Shared Hosting Plans

Start Dock

Space offered – 15 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 30 GB

Number of websites – 1 website allowed 

Price – $2.49/month 

Web Wrap

Space offered – 30 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 6GB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites allowed 

Price – $4.11/month 

Speed Reaper

Space offered – 40 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  90 GB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites allowed 

Price – $2.49/month 

Want the best value for your money? Opt for HostArmada’s Web Wrap plan. For $4.11/month, you can host multiple websites simultaneously without worrying about performance lags or downtime. You’ll get all the default hosting features, up to 14 days of daily backups,  4 CPU cores, three free website transfers, unlimited email accounts and many others. 

Who’s is this for? 

HostArmada’s shared hosting plans are perfect for digital nomads seeking a portfolio website. It’s also an excellent choice for small and medium-sized business owners with up to 120,000 monthly visitors. The Speed Reaper plan features LiteSpeed servers, so you may consider this if performance is your priority. 

HostArmada’s WordPress Hosting Plans

Start Dock

Space offered – 15 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 30 GB

Number of websites – 1 website allowed 

Price – $2.49/month 

Web Wrap

Space offered – 30 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 6GB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites allowed 

Price – $4.11/month 

Speed Reaper

Space offered – 40 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  90 GB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites allowed 

Price – $2.49/month 

HostArmada’s WordPress hosting plan is almost similar to the shared hosting plan, so I’ll also recommend the Web Wrap Plan if you want the best value for your money.  

Who’s it for? 

WordPress is the largest CMS (content management system) in the world. It’s suitable for all kinds and sizes of businesses, whether large or small. The large community also makes it easier to find solutions to issues faster. HostArmada’s WordPress plans are fully managed and coupled with WordPress-specific features to give you the best digital experience. 

HostArmada’s Reseller Hosting Plans

Sitedust

Space offered – 15 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 3 TB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites

Price – $21/month 

Protoseller

Space offered – 80 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 6 TB 

Number of websites – Unlimited websites 

Price – $28.02/month 

Web Giant

Space offered – 110 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  9 TB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites 

Price – $35.03/month 

Site Nova

Space offered – 200 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  12 TB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites 

Price – $53.96/month 

If the shared plans are not enough for you, HostArmada’s reseller plans are the way to go. The Web Giant Plan has multiple advanced features, including cPanel & WHM, free WHMCS, LiteSpeed cache plugin, 110 GB SSD storage, 9 TB bandwidth and more. 

Who’s this for? 

HostArmada’s reseller hosting plans are an excellent choice for web developers/designers who want to add web hosting as a complementary service … or anyone who needs to manage multiple websites simultaneously with minimal to no downtime. All plans allow you to enjoy the speedy performance of LiteSpeed web servers, HTTP/3 protocols, advanced caching, free white label, etc. 

HostArmada’s VPS Hosting Plans

Web Shuttle

Space offered – 50 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 2 TB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites

Price – $29.95/month 

Web Voyager

Space offered – 80 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 4 TB 

Number of websites – Unlimited websites 

Price – $35.73/month 

Web Raider

Space offered – 160 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  8 TB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites 

Price – $46.73/month 

Site Carrier

Space offered – 320 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  16 TB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites 

Price – $74.23/month 

VPS plans are your best bet if you’re tired of shared servers but need a reliable and scalable alternative without overcommitting on costs. HostArmada VPS plans are built to handle resource-intensive projects. 

For a balance between costs and features, go for the Web Raider VPS plan. This gives you access to all the features on lesser plans, cPanel and WHM, up to 5 TB bandwidth, 160 GB SSD space and Nginx web server caches for faster load times. 

Who’s this for? 

If your website traffic is growing sporadically, it’s likely a sign that you need VPS hosting. Compared to other types of plans, HostArmada VPS hosting is designed to provide redundant and scalable cloud hosting solutions. On all plans, you’ll enjoy all fully managed hosting services, hosting features, full root access, a minimum of 2 CPU cores, five free cPanel accounts, and advanced caching features. 

HostArmada’s Dedicated Hosting Plans

Lift off

Space offered – 160 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 5 TB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites

Price – $81.95/month 

Low orbit

Space offered – 320 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 6 TB 

Number of websites – Unlimited websites 

Price – $114.95/month 

High Orbit

Space offered – 640 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  32 TB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites 

Price – $180.95/month 

HostArmada’s Low Orbit plans offer a well-balanced combination of performance, resource capacity, flexibility and affordability. The 8-core AMD EPYC  Cores, 16 GB RAM, and 320 GB SSD storage keeps your websites and applications running smoothly and efficiently, even under heavy use. 

Who’s this for?

Do you need a server that can accommodate your large web traffic? Then dedicated hosting might be right for you! More specifically, it is important to protect user data from the risks of a shared server. Agencies, developers, and IT professionals looking to manage their client’s websites on one platform can also opt for a dedicated server. 

HostArmada’s Open Source Hosting Plans

Start Dock

Space offered – 15 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 30 GB

Number of websites – 1 website allowed 

Price – $2.49/month 

Web Wrap

Space offered – 30 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 6GB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites allowed 

Price – $4.11/month 

Speed Reaper

Space offered – 40 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  90 GB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites allowed 

Price – $2.49/month 

HostArmada’s open-source hosting plans are a combination of their shared hosting plans and Open Source-specific features. If you’re just starting with them, I recommend you opt for the Web Wrap plan because it gives you access to advanced features at a friendly price. Their services are fully managed, so you don’t have to worry about installing or updating your applications, visual themes, and modules. 

Who’s this for? 

The HostArmada open-source plans are designed for tech startups, developers, enterprise organizations, service providers, and anyone who needs to build or manage open-source projects efficiently. 

HostArmada’s Development Hosting Plans

Start Dock

Space offered – 15 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 30 GB

Number of websites – 1 website allowed 

Price – $2.49/month 

Web Wrap

Space offered – 30 GB SSD storage

Bandwidth – 6GB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites allowed 

Price – $4.11/month 

Speed Reaper

Space offered – 40 SSD storage

Bandwidth –  90 GB

Number of websites – Unlimited websites allowed 

Price – $2.49/month 

AAs you can see, this is also similar to the shared and open-source hosting plans. I recommend the Web Wrap plan to enjoy rich features at a friendly cost. Luckily, HostArmada’s plans are scalable, so you can seamlessly move to higher plans as your needs grow.

Who’s this for? 

Well, you guessed right. The HostArmada Development Hosting plan is designed for developers or other IT professionals needing a developer-friendly hosting environment. You have full access to developer tools such as PHP, SQL, Python, Node.js, SSH access, WP – CLI, etc. 

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s get into the exciting parts. 

HostArmada’s Features 

Here are some of the top features offered on all the HostArmada plans: 

Free website transfer and SSL certificates 

Unlimited databases and FTP accounts

Multiple PHP versions 

24/7 human support 

Free drag and drop SiteBuilder 

Free WAF & IP Firewall 

AMP EPYC CPU Cores 

Daily backups

Yes…all of these are default hosting features. What makes HostArmada different from other providers in the same category? 

For me, it’s their commitment to innovation and providing advanced and modern performance-based features at a competitive price. In fact, all their services pass ten levels of quality assessment before they are released to users! 

For starters, I love how they invest in advanced speed-enhancing features. They use the latest AMD Epyc processors, identified as the fastest CPU processors compared to the AMD architectures. At the core of their services is the LiteSpeed web server, which outperforms Apache and Nginx servers combined! 

Do you know that most of their services are fully managed? This means if you have other pressing business commitments or are growing beyond your capacity, you don’t have to worry about losing revenue because they manage the technical side of your web hosting. 

Their quality customer support makes them top my list. As a website owner, I’ve had my fair share of struggles with web hosts with subpar customer service. Seeing HostArmada’s distinctive performance is a breath of fresh air. See what other users have to say:  

Impressive!

HostArmada’s Performance

You’d hardly find a web host who’s upfront about its performance metrics. A good number of them promise reliable performance and speed with minimal downtime. How do you validate this? 

Personally, I always recommend trying out the host’s performance before committing for the long term. Sometimes, you’ll find hosts willing to give you a demo or free trial to eliminate all guesses. HostArmada doesn’t offer any of these, so I’ll share my experience with this web host after purchasing their shared hosting plan. 

For this test, we’ll focus on three vital performance metrics: 

Uptime measures the reliability of your web host. It is the percentage of time your website is accessible to users. No web server is perfect, but a good uptime is 99.0% – 99.99%.  

Load time measures how your web page loads when users click on the URL. A good loading time should be >3s. 

TTFB measures the time a user takes to receive the first byte of data from your web server. Google recommends a TTFB of 800ms or less. 

In a sentence, the faster (or lower) the load time and TTFB, the faster the server delivers your web data to users when they click on the URL. A good uptime also means your website will experience little to no downtime yearly, which is an advantage if you’re in the eCommerce or SaaS niche. All these metrics improve your search engine performance and conversion rates.  

HostArmada uses NGINX & LiteSpeed web servers, has advanced caching features, SSD storage drives, high-performance AMD EPYC CPU Cores, and integrates with CloudFlare CDN (content delivery network) – all of which are designed to boost your performance above others hosted on average providers. 

In addition, all the websites are hosted on the cloud, which means improved scalability, reliability and flexibility! They also promise a 99.9% uptime, which means your website will always be accessible except during scheduled maintenance. 

Let’s validate their claims! 

I used GTMetrix to test a website hosted on HostArmada and these were the results: 

HostArmada’s performance didn’t fall short of my expectations! Their servers responded in 293ms (0.293s), which is impressive. The overall performance was 99%, which is super impressive. 

To test their uptime, I used Uptime Robot to evaluate their performance in the last 30 days. Here’s what I got: 

So far, their website has been experiencing 100% uptime, which validates their 99.99% uptime claims.  

HostArmada’s Customer Support

HostArmada offers six levels of customer support – knowledgebase, tutorials, live chat, email, phone and ticket. 

Let’s examine each in detail: 

Knowledgebase 

Are you new to web hosting? No problem! HostArmada has a rich resource that caters to almost all vitals on its platform. This includes DIY how-to articles on web hosting, open-source applications, billing and many more: 

There’s also a search bar to help you find solutions to issues swiftly. 

Tutorials: 

If you prefer DIY solutions, you’ll love the detailed articles provided in the HostArmada Learning Center on how to get started or manage your website on their platform. They have a guide on almost all web hosting-related topics and website-relevant topics like how to use Google Analytics: 

Support Ticket:

HostArmada also allows users to submit queries via an online ticket, although this is only available to paid users. 

Phone:

If you prefer a faster response, HostArmada allows you to speak directly with any of their expert support team via phone. However, there are call charges for locations outside the US. 

Live Chat: 

HostArmada also allows you to chat live with their hosting experts 24/7/365. The live chat button is tucked at the bottom right corner of their website so that users can easily submit queries. 

I initiated a chat to inquire about their services and test their response time. I got a response almost immediately. 

Email

Lastly, if all other channels are unresponsive, you can reach out to them via email. You can easily create support tickets on their website that will automatically be forwarded to your email for further assistance. 

The best part is that you can chat with specific agents for an even faster response. For example, if you’re experiencing issues related to payments, you can contact the sales department instead. 

HostArmada’s security features

I personally love how HostArmada prioritizes the security of websites hosted on their platform. They go beyond the surface-level free SSL certificates and backups to provide top-of-the-line security features, even on their smallest plans. 

Their security checks begin with their web servers. Unlike other hosts, they built a security system that checks every IP address connecting their web servers for threats and cyber attacks. For example, they reduce/eliminate the risks of DDoS attacks by establishing a ‘Connection Limit’ for each IP address. This limit reduces the number of requests sent from a single IP address. 

Another advantage is their all-round security system – Environment Security Fleet – that secures user web hosting accounts and their associated files. They use advanced network firewalls (with reCAPTCHA protection) and WAF, intrusion detection and prevention systems, malware scanning, and OS patch management features to protect your website from further attacks. 

Amazing! 

There’s a caveat, though. HostArmada’s daily backups are limited (7 for the smallest shared hosting plan). I’ve seen other providers with similar features provide unlimited daily backups. I hope they can improve on this in the future. 

HostArmada’s website builders

Another thing I love about this provider is how they’ve made it easier for anyone to kickstart their digital journey. They have an extensive domain directory where you can find and register the perfect domain for your business: 

You can register your domain name for one year without paying any charge: 

And when it’s time to build your website, you can opt for any of their plans to access their custom drag-and-drop website builder — HostArmada Website Builder: 

You can also build your website with one-click on any of their affiliated CMSs – WordPress, Joomla, Drupal, PrestaShop, and Magento.

Note: If you’re choosing a specific website builder, for instance, WordPress, opt for the web hosting service that specializes or offers support for that platform. HostArmada has WordPress, WooCommerce, and Magento Hosting plans. 

User-Friendliness – Ease of use

HostArmada has a modern and intuitive user interface. I find it attractive at first glance, likely because of the blue, purple and pink pastel colors. The icons and texts are also well placed, which makes it easy for anyone to operate, even for beginners. Having a modern design is only one part of the puzzle. Let’s see how easy it is to register and manage an account on HostArmada:  

Registering an account with HostArmada

To have full access to any of HostArmada’s hosting features, you have to pay for any of their hosting plans. Here’s how: 

Step 1: 

Navigate to the top menu bar and click ‘Hosting.’ Proceed to choose any hosting plan from the list. Next, select your preferred package and click ‘Get Started.’

Step 2: 

You’ll be redirected to a domain selection page. Here, you can either register a new domain, transfer your domain from another registrar or use your existing domain and update your nameservers: 

Step  3:

Next, choose your billing cycle and data centers. You’ll likely see upsells on this page to improve your web performance: 

Then, click ‘Preview Order’ to make payments. 

Step 4: 

Next, review your orders before making payments. I noticed they added an ID protection to the checkout by default. Although it’s useful, I don’t like how it was pre-selected: 

Step 5: 

Lastly, you’ll be redirected to the checkout page to make payments for your order. Here, input your name, billing address and billing details. They accept only two forms of payment – PayPal and Credit Card. Once you’ve imputed all the necessities, click on ‘Complete Order.’ 

HostArmada’s Control Panel

As you can see, HostArmada has an intuitive user interface. I would have loved it if they built a custom control panel to match. 

However, they use the traditional cPanel to reduce the friction in learning for their web users. This can easily be accessible via the ‘Client Area’

Here, you’ll find all the functionalities to set up and manage your account, including setting up email accounts, installing WordPress in one-click, creating databases, etc.  

HostArmada is also compatible with WHM for managing multiple cPanel accounts simultaneously. This is a great feature if you’re buying reseller, VPS or dedicated hosting plans: 

Installing WordPress on HostArmada

Installing WordPress on HostArmada is equally effortless. As with other hosting providers with cPanel, you can find and install WordPress in one-click with the Softaculous Auto Installer. 

To do this, log into your cPanel account and navigate to the Software section, where you’ll find the Softaculous Apps Installer: 

Once you click on it, you’ll be directed to the Softaculous Dashboard, where WordPress is listed under ‘Top Scripts’

Proceed to click on the WordPress icon:  

Before you install it, you’ll be required to configure some things. Navigate to the ‘Software Setup’ section to do this. First, choose the WordPress version you wish to install: 

Next, enter the site name/ description and create an admin account. Make sure you use details you can easily remember when creating your admin account. 

Lastly, select your preferred WordPress theme and click ‘Install’ 

Voila! You’ll get a congratulatory message once it’s installed:

Server FootPrint and CDS

While fast loading times and uptime are excellent performance metrics, you also need to consider the server footprint of a web host before making any commitments. This is because the closer your host server is to your target audience, the faster your website will load for users in that location. You also need to consider how widespread the data centers are. Web hosts with large server footprints offer better global coverage, which means users from different regions can experience optimal performance when navigating your site. 

In addition, if your web host uses a content delivery network (or CDN), it significantly improves loading times by reducing the time to the first byte. 

HostArmada has 23 data centers in 5 continents, including North America, Europe and Asia.  Their web servers are also powered by CloudFlare CDN, one of the biggest and most reliable in the market. 

Conclusion: Do We Recommend HostArmada?

HostArmada might be less than a decade old, but its performance, specs, competitive pricing and customer support make it one of the best in the market. I definitely recommend it! 

Whether you’re just launching a new website or a tech startup needing robust infrastructure and reliable support, HostArmada is a good start. Plus, their newness is an advantage. Since they’re already making strides in the hosting industry, I believe they still have better features and updates coming up. Don’t miss out!!  

Visit HostArmada →

FAQs

What is the speed of HostArmada? 

HostArmada claims their infrastructure is connected with 7000 Mbps (Gbps). This means that their servers can handle large volumes of data flow, even during peak hours. This means a better user experience and higher chances of topping the search results. 

HostArmada vs Hostinger: Which is better? 

HostArmada and Hostinger are reputable providers, each with strengths and service offerings. The difference between the two largely depends on your specific needs and the feature combination these providers have to meet your needs.  

For performance, I’ll opt for HostArmada. They both have an impressive load time. However, Hostinger doesn’t offer SSD storage in any of their plans. 

If you’re looking to save costs, Hostinger is the way to go. Their plans start at $2.99/month (plus an extra three months free), while HostArmada costs $2.49/month (for a triennial payment). 

Overall, I’ll pick HostArmada over Hostinger because of their rich feature list, advanced performance and security technologies and excellent customer support. 

What are some HostArmada’s alternatives? 

If you’re thinking of using other HostArmada’s alternatives, try out Siteground, BlueHost, ScalaHosting, and Cloudways. 

[stargirlrchive]

i think the only way i can get this priceghost threesome fic out is if i post half first! so enjoy (don’t hate me for blue-balling yall 😔 the smut is coming! i promise)

one — two — three

“Invited the Captain over for dinner.”

Your skin prickled as Simon’s gaze pinned you to your spot. He was watching your reaction and no doubt did not miss the way you chopped a bit harder into the vegetables you were cutting.

You just hummed, hoping he would miss the way your thighs gently clenched together at the thought of having both of them in your home.

Your last encounter, if you could call it that, was Price encouraging Simon to fuck you harder over the phone and you had not stopped thinking about it since.

Guilt had webbed its way into your chest as night after night your underwear soaked at the thought of both of them taking you.

Simon deep down your throat while his Captain devoured you.

You missed the way Simon’s eyes glossed over at your reaction. Already chubbing painfully as he watched you bite down onto your plump lip, and squeeze your thighs.

He knew the nasty little thoughts that ran through your mind. Had caught onto how you listened intently whenever his captains name was mentioned in conversation.

He didn’t blame you, gods he had been thinking about it too. The way your eyes would grow low and desperate as Price fucked you. Begging Simon to touch as you moaned and writhed beneath his captain.

The only reason he had let weeks go by to make a move is because he needed to be sure you’d be okay with it. He didn’t want to force something onto you that had happened accidentally.

But it was obvious. You were never well at hiding when your interest was piqued.

You had been so lost in your filthy little daydream you missed the sound of Simon’s footsteps approaching. You jumped lightly when his thick hands laid flat on your belly.

His nose dragging down the side of your neck as he pressed his hardening cock into you. He was so big it rested comfortably on the small of your back, right above the swell of your ass.

“Is it a problem that I invited him over?”

His breath was fresh against your heated skin and it caused a shiver to zip down your spine. One of his hands trailing lower before it slipped into the waist band of your shorts.

“No, not a problem. Just wish I would’ve known so I could’ve fixed myself up a bit. It’s not every day we host your team.”

You could hardly focus on not nipping your fingers with the knife as Simon’s finger dipped between your underwear. You wondered if he’d know that reason of your slick was also due to the older man.

Your head resting against his shoulder as he pushed the pad of his fingers against your wet clit. “You get this horny from chopping up vegetables?”

He laughed at his own joke, and you couldn’t help the huff of laughter that left your mouth. “Yeah, something about the chop really gets me going.”

He nipped at your throat lightly, his fingers barley hovering over your clit before he was dipping his fingers between your folds.

“And here I was thinkin’ it was because of me and John.”

Your body stilled against his, had you really been that obvious? Was…was he mad?

“I’m sorry-”

Simon kept your pressed against him as you tried to turn around to face him. His fingers still dipped into your slick pussy.

“What for, hm? For being a greedy little thing and wanting two cocks?”

You whimpered softly, thighs tightening around his hand as you nodded, you didn’t know what to do. On one hand you were worried Simon was upset, and on the other you were so fucking horny that your brain turned to mush.

“S’alright, baby. Cap’n and I arranged this all for you to get your little fix.”

You couldn’t wrap your mind around what he was saying, the tip of his finger dipping into your entrance. Your body felt like it was burning hot, clit pulsing with need as he slowly fucked you with his fingers.

“What is it that you want him to do?”

Simon’s free hand enveloped your breast, teasing your hardened nipples as he rolled his thumb against them. His other palm flat against your clit as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

“Want him to use your mouth? We can show him how good I’ve trained you.”

Your gasps and soft cries filled the kitchen, “Or do you want him to use his mouth on this pretty pussy. Get you all nice and wet before I stuff you full of my cock?”

Your fingers wrapped around his wrist, fucking yourself against his thick fingers as you cried and whined.

You were so close, just a few more swipes to your clit and you’d come all over his hand.

But the soft knock at your front door caused a warbled gasp to leave your mouth. Rutting against Simon’s hand before your release vanished. But he delivered a soft pinch to your nipple before his hand moved to your hips.

Gripping tight enough to still your movements as his fingers slipped out of you.

“That’s the Captain. Can’t keep ‘em waiting.”

You hoped your thoughts and desires weren’t written clearly on your face, but the subtle smirks thrown your way from Simon, and gentle smiles from Price told you otherwise.

You had to refrain from choking on each bite as John held your gaze as you spoke. He was so attentive, something that no doubt came from years of his job.

He was intense, but despite it all his eyes were warm, and it caused your cunt to pulse. All you could think about was how his hands would feel tugging on your hair, or biting into your skin. Or if he preferred to memorize your skin with soft, lingering touches.

You wondered if he preferred a gentler approach to having sex or not. You couldn’t tell.

And it was driving you crazy.

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, doll?” John’s voice dripped like warm honey, warmth blooming in your belly as you refrained from melting into a puddle right at his feet.

You had to bite back the whimper that threatened to leave your mouth as Simon laughed as he saw the coy look on your face at the pet name.

Simon’s hands patting your thighs as he mumbled out,“Spacey little thing.”

You knew Simon was teasing you, and you huffed, letting your head rest on his shoulder as you let them talk.

You wouldn’t have added much to the conversation. Not when Simon’s hand was dangerously close to where you desperately wanted him.

You were so familiar with his touch, so used to the way the callouses of his fingers made your body burn with desire.

He was familiar, and safe, and home.

He teasingly rubbed and gripped at your thigh, throwing knowing glances your way each time your legs pried open a little more.

John excused himself to use the restroom, and Simon smiled down at you teasingly, “How are you feeling, love?”

You huffed, because he knew exactly what was going through your mind, the way your eyes drooped with desire.

“Need you, Si’.”

“Is that so?”

You nodded, pawing gently at his cock as you pressed soft kisses to his neck. You were met with a soft grunt, his fingers tightening around your thigh.

He gently gripped your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his and his eyes scanned over your face, a small smidge of concern evident in his eyes as his words quietly filter through the room, “Jus��� wanna make sure, you okay with Cap joinin’ tonight?”

The flutter of your lashes was answer enough but he wanted to hear you say it verbally. You gave him a nod, trying to bite back a smile, “Yeah-I’m okay with it.”

He sent you a lazy smile, pressing his lips to yours as he pulled you up, moving the two of you to the couch and perching you on his lap.

John met you both in the living room, his eyes locked onto Simon’s in silent communication. With a subtle nod from Simon, Price’s eyes dropped down to you. Shamelessly drinking in your form and the way Simon’s fingers teased at your shirt, “You’re gonna make me jealous, Lt.”

Your eyes flickered to John’s, eyes fixated on the tent in his pants as he licked his lips, “Haven’t been able to stop thinkin’ about all those pretty noises you made.”

You forced yourself not to squirm under his gaze, Simon’s deep voice rumbling against you as he spoke, “Took ‘em right there on that couch you’re sittin’ on.”

You bit your lip, recalling the way Simon handle you, pressing your face into the cushion to keep you quiet, fucking you relentlessly with the encouragement of his boss.

“Go on, baby. Think it’s time we show ‘em how good you are.”

[running-with-kn1ves]

⋆˙⟡Webbed Infatuation⟡˙⋆

A/N: My submission for monstermag summer '25! I encourage yall to submit soon!

Summary: On a summer abroad trip in Italy, you find yourself getting flustered by your happy-go-lucky program guide. Little do you know, he's hiding more than just his feelings for you.

Warnings: Mercreature transformation, scratching, needy merboy

Your eyes melted at the sight of the computer screen before you. Again, you had stayed up far too late scrolling in the dark. Pinterest, TripAdvisor, pricey travel agents-- your retinas aching while looking at pictures of avant-garde French cities and Greek coastal villages.

It was all so enchanting, so foreign from the urban, dead-end life you were beginning to loathe. You had fantasized so often of an escape that it was beginning to grow into an obsessive form in every area of your life. That night you dreamt of opaline cathedrals and tasting hand-crafted delicacies, a faux afternoon of pure self-indulgent bliss. 

It was only a matter of time until you caved, taking the leap and signing up for a summer exchange program with a private university in Italy. Maybe it was a cliché destination to choose as a university student with no future financial plan and far too little self preservation; but nothing was as enticing as the crystal blue skies of Milan and a suave Italian accent that whipped you into butter. 

When you finally landed in the sweltering, overcrowded airport, you were quick to latch on to other students and your program’s native guides. Amongst bumbling foreigners like yourself were the sunny, pearly-toothed Italians who had the boldness and vocal cords necessary to lead you through seas of tourists. Before you could find someone to clutch at for safety in the winding streets, someone had already latched onto you. 

He was a peculiarly handsy guide who called himself Amadeo, kissing you on both cheeks and pulling you with an arm around your shoulder. He was rumored to be studying a masters in architecture at your host university, not that it mattered. He rarely answered any questions about the school or its courses, instead opting to finger feed you sweets and steal your wrist to lay an entwined bracelet upon it. 

If he wasn't leading you to new horizons he was trailing close behind, berating locals who had no problem ripping you off, swindling shop owners who seemed to melt after he said something along the lines of “l'amore della mi vita,”  with a quick kiss pressed to your cheek. If you didn't know any better, you might've thought he was flirting with you. But the not-so-subtle sensuality of Italians that you'd seen in dozens of young, loitering couples made you doubt any genuine romantic affection. For heaven's sake he kissed everyone on the cheek, often bumping shoulders with other students; it was in his nature to be a flirt. Why would his hand snaking to interlock with yours mean anything?

It all seemed so cut and dry, even if you laid at night pressing your fingertips to where his soft lips once kissed, fumbling with the keychain of an Italian flag he bought you. So, you ignored the beating of your heart, letting him string you along another field trip for the weekend, even with your gut telling you to turn around and crawl back home. 

 A small town of limestone resting on the breast of the ocean was your main source of exploration this time, Amadeo’s soft, tanned hands pulling at yours from rocky beaches to wineries. He was noticeably more eager in the past evening than normal for him, capricious in his decisions and erratic tugs at you. There was a nervous look as he watched the sea, almost as a child would appear when gazing from afar at the deep end of a pool. 

Amadeo arranged for your group to stay in a local inn, the inside just as dingy as you'd witnessed from the outside. But your guide promised it'd be worth it, that it had the best view of a shiny canal opening to the Adriatic, propped against the west of the inn’s cracking bricks. Like a fool, you yielded to trust him, smitten by his smile and silly auburn glasses that made his ocean eyes sparkle. 

While your fellow exchange students shared rooms with balconies adorned by woven flower baskets, you stayed on the tiny bottom floor with Amadeo, your low beds right next to a floor-to-ceiling open gap that was once a window, measly pale curtains protecting you from a ledge leading to the bottomless water. Even with bright shops sparkling from across the canal, the unlit areas of dark green sea were deep with lurking creatures, occasional blips flicking up to create torn ripples.

Amadeo had gone quiet once the lights were shut out, not a word released from him as the innkeepers and students went off to their rooms. The small town quieted besides for gentle laps of water against stone. A part of you wished you could ask him what was wrong, why he spent the entirety of dinner locked in your shared room watching the canal with a foreboding gaze, distancing himself.

 Even with your body exhausted and the thick clog of salt and sea up your nostrils, your heart fluttered at being in a place you once only saw in your dreams. The day’s long hours of walking in the summer sun with only acquacotta and gelato filling your stomach left you craving for sleep. Slowly, concern for Amadeo drifted into pleasant dreams of him, his blurring body curled away from you in a quivering hunch. 

Your sleep only lasted what seemed a few minutes, an abrupt sound causing you to stir. The open space between you and the canal was almost frightening, a silver moon bouncing off of old family photos laying the walls, dim picture frames and polaroids of the Amalfi coast. The only thing that familiarized you was Amadeo, watching over you. 

“...deo?” You muttered, your voice cracked and dry. The arid night left your throat parched. 

“Shh, cuore mio. Sleep.” He hushed, seemingly out of breath as beads of sweat trickled down his neck.  

Your legs were scrunched up, held still by him as he sat at the edge of your small twin-sized mattress, squeaky from a rusty bed frame. 

“What time’s it?” You mumbled, delirious and looking for your phone in a mess of faded bedsheets. 

Amadeo grabbed your forearm, gently brushing his fingers down it at a jagged pace. He held your limp wrist with a tender squeeze, trying to affirm and control it. 

“Just rest, my love. Ignore it.” 

His whine held a touch of needy desperation as you squirmed. With a free hand Amadeo rubbed at your knee, massaging it with a roughness that made it seem like he was ready to pry apart your leg. He was quick to make a trail from your outer thigh to beneath your pajama shorts, where the cotton’s end met your flesh. His hands were warm, almost sweaty in their attempts to caress your skin.

“What’s the matter, huh?” You try to fight sleep, knowing something must be wrong if he dared to come and harass you in the middle of the night. If it weren’t for the exhaustion of your endeavors only a few hours ago, you might’ve even been flustered at the way he touched you. “Can’t sleep?”

“Could say that,” He teases, huffing as he presses kisses to your knee. “Not without you, bellissima. Not here anymore.”

An array of small, devotion-like kisses fall from his pouty lips, decorating from the tops of your knees down to the middle of your thighs. 

Slowly the wetness of his tongue, like that of a slick eel, began to wake you up. A perspiring grope at your thigh made you flinch, your foot pressed at his abdomen as a warning. 

“Wasting your time, darling,” He smiles, still hunched against your right leg laying in his grasp. Your sleepy lips turned into a taught, worried frown, scanning over the bright moonlight that once shone sweetly on his opal-white, slightly crooked teeth, instead now illuminating needle-like razors. They almost seemed painful in his gums, thick as bone in his stretched mouth.

The horror reached your eyes before it could escape your parting lips, a webbed, sickly green-grey hand slipping over your mouth. 

“Shh, hush now,” He whispered, sibilant and harsh. “tu sei speciale, it's okay, you’re with me.”

A dark tongue left his mouth, a hint of purple running over his teeth that appeared sharp enough to pull the skin from your muscle. What had happened to him? Was this all part of some wicked dream induced by your fatigue?

“Ama..eo….p..ease,” Your voice was muffled beneath his wettening hand, his skin covered in a thin layer of moistness that seemed to transform him into something inhuman. Slits of skin carved in the sides of his throat, widening with each pant that left his mouth.

Amadeo’s body had slowly become gaunt and long, collarbones jutting out as his thin cotton shirt pooled around him. The soft green of his eyes transformed into a murky color that lightened as he let out a hiss of a laugh. Slowly, his damp lips came down to kiss your navel, putting the entirety of his newfound weight on the lower half of your body. 

“Divine… So divine all for me,” the hand covering your mouth scratched at your cheek in time with your jaw’s frightful flinch. Brittle nails drew a stinging pain as his hand flung away, the sight of blood shocking even Amadeo. 

His ease has disappeared as he brought the back of his webbed fingers to graze the four scratches, almost tearing up at the sight. If you had thought he was unpredictable before, his temperament had gotten a world of a lot worse.

“È colpa mia, no no,” He wiped the blood away, licking it from his knuckles before coming to clean the rest of your scratch. “I’m sorry, I promise, it will be fine.” 

He seemed to forget his knowledge of English, babbling in broken Italian and heaving as he grasped at your clothes, kissing up your stomach in repentance. 

“What’s wrong with you?” You ask, fear laden in your voice as the burn from your cut started to rise, slower than the blood had. “Amadeo please! Are-- are you sick?” 

You were no longer hazy with sleep now; something was very, very wrong here. Even the slapping waves of the once still canal thought so, pounding against the stone inn.

“This is what I am,” He grunted, digging beneath your shirt like a child throwing a tantrum, tightening it over his head. “It’s what I always do! But I can’t leave without you, even if you are hurt.” He mumbles, now raspy beneath your shirt as the slick of his skin and tears soak into your stomach. 

Was it right to push him away, as your mind had told you to do, or should you pull him close in a sympathetic embrace? He seemed untouchable in the sun, grabbing your chin and nuzzling your cheek each time you met for a new adventure, leading you by the hand to teach the rich history of seafaring towns and rustic cities. But this…. You didn’t know this distraught, monstrous man; maybe you never really knew him at all. 

“What….are you?” You look at his slippery feet, something akin to a vast fish’s tail grazing at his tailbone. His sharp hands dug into the flesh of your stomach, holding it against his cold face. “You’re not…”

“You hear of Colapesce legend? Il monstro delle acque nere, the sea snake?” Your guide unleashes his claws into your hips, like a cat preventing its prey from squirming. “Sirena Leucasia may be more famous for your Hollywood movies.”

“I have no idea what those words mean. Please, just let me take you to a hospital--”

“No!” He huffs, slinking off of you in a slippery fashion. Amadeo tries to pull you toward the edge of the bed by the wrist. “No doctors. Just… maybe I will show you.”

His accent grew thicker, the words almost garbled in his mouth as he hunched forward, beckoning you to come off the bed with him. Round glasses once pushed against his nose sat broken on the floor beside your slippers, the lenses cracked and wet. 

“Come, I promise you will be safe,” His weary smile was frightening, the poorly disguised deception hidden by a cold kiss to your knuckles. “Come, come.”

You stumble out of the creaking bed, following him more out of pity as he skitters towards the open ledge meant for sea gazing. The curtains were billowing roughly towards you, salty wind airing the room in a nauseating flutter. With small steps you observe his tail dragging against the ground. It appeared to grow heavier with each movement, walking becoming impossible for him as he practically crawled. 

“Follow, you see, vita mia.” He murmured, ushering you forward with a webbed hand. His fingers shook, growing bluer with each fingertip. 

“After this, we’ll go to the hospital, okay Amadeo?” You looked at him, weary of the gleam in his eyes. “Right?”

“Yes, yes,” He sputtered too quickly, pulling you onto the stone ledge of the canal. The once safe, emerald water had turned an impossible black. Only a few street lights and a passing boat made Amadeo’s sickly face visible. 

His smile was so wide, delusional in its giddiness as he held both of your hands in his. He stepped closer to the water, only a foot away as he didn’t dare to look back. 

You had followed to pityingly entertain him; perhaps a breath of fresh air would do some good for whatever illness he had concurred. But somewhere along the sight of his animalistic grin, the nail marks digging into your skin, it dawned that your naivety had gotten the best of you.

“Ama…” His hands found your elbows, digging viscous fingers into them to drag you into his chest. He had no need to take another step, your weight and the slip of your feet providing all the power necessary to fall splashless into the canal. 

A short shriek fell from your lips before you were submerged into warm, cloudy water. The tips of something slimy touched the bottom of your foot, causing you to thrash about in Amadeo's arms. 

You desperately opened your eyes, ignoring the sting behind your eyelids as bleak water blinded your vision. Amadeos’ body shone like a twinkling, scaly blue hue. What looked dulled and grey on land was reflecting the minimal light shining in the canal, his skin covered in thick, silvery sapphire scales, occasionally broken by the tan human skin he once wore. That evening his sweat was a sweet scent of summery orange blossom that you once shyly inhaled. Now, water overflowed in your nose and lungs, brined dirt coating the back of your throat as Amadeo clutched you in his arms. The stench of fish and seaweed became suffocating.

‘Cuoricino’ he mouthed, wiping at the scratches left on your cheek in an unfitting tenderness. His distress had become a gentle, benevolent smile, still haunted by the features of a wild creature. The intense gag of salted water down your throat had turned your broken screams soundless, shivering at the sensation of a slippery tail making its way around your legs. 

[sweetimpurity]

❀ൄ day 29 my loves!!! we're almost to the end wahhhh wc: 1022 cw: monsterfuck, Venom 2099!! rough and messy and dirty 𑈴 ❀ ͙𑱢

“You can’t hide forever… little spider…” His slobbering voice growls. Having a leech of a symbiote like venom isn’t all bad. Taking host in your boyfriend’s body and at this point you’ve had to form a relationship with the alien as well. After all, he’s become quite fond of you. And you of him. 

Whispering filthy words in Miguel’s head whenever you walk by. How much he envies him, wants to fuck you and fill you up. How he’d love to plug you full of his dick. Even encouraging Miguel to go harder and deeper, on the off chance he lets your boyfriend go solo. Just watching you get fucked from the inside of Miguel’s psyche. 

But tonight he’s out, wanting you to himself. Blue and red and a slobbering mess. Massive muscles bulging, veins crawling up his arms, hard sharp eyes tracking your movement. Making his way around the city after you, chasing you like a little mouse. Until the abandoned building by the docks, stalking and crawling around abandoned construction equipment and the half built structure. 

You look around, you can sense him, feel him like sweat on your back. A thrilling chill and a pulse in your chest, pumping and making you feel warm. The thrill of being hunted. Knowing you’re bound to be pinned and pounded by the end of it. It ignites something in you, something dangerous. 

Venom stalks onto the open roof, climbing his way up and catching the flash of colors swinging by. Your suit. He growls, getting down on all fours and following your movements, hearing your pants as you swing through scaffolding that he just tears down. “There you are!” He slobbers, long tongue protruding out in a ghoulish smile. Grabbing onto your ankle as you’re trying to swing away. Standing at his tall height, even taller than Miguel is normally, and dragging you down, holding your squirming form in his hands as you struggle to get away. Not wanting the chase to be over but at the same time so desperate for what follows. 

“Such a pretty face…” He hisses, slobbering and his long tongue licks a sticky stripe up the side of your face. You wince, gasping, feeling his hulking form push you down on the roof. “Pretty neck…” He growls, licking down your cheek and to your throat, his many teeth giving you a rush of thrill, of fear, intoxicating, a claw coming to your suit and easily tearing down the front. Your bare chest confronted with the cold night air. Bounding free from the material and your nips perking from the chill. “Delicious…” He hisses. Licking down your chest now, slobbering and drooling all over your tits, swirling his tongue around your sensitive mounds, making you moan and flutter, dripping for him. Images mixing in your mind as your eyes close. Miguel, Venom, Miguel, Venom, Miguel…

Red glowing webs extend from Venom’s wrists, spreading over your chest and arms to keep you pinned to the cold rooftop. Biting your lip, your mind going hazy. Loving how he takes you. 

He licks down the rest of your torso, dipping the tip into your navel and making your knees draw up at the sensation. To which he spreads your legs wide with his clawed hands, dipping his face down between them.

“Mngh-ahhnhh!” You squeal and gasp, reeling from the feeling. His tongue running down your dripping pussy. Lapping at your clit and making you squirm. Wiggling around like a worm in the dirt. His smiling sets of teeth grinning at you before plunging his long tongue into your cunt. Filling you out and jutting deep. You scream. The sound echoing off the boats in the harbor and through the abandoned building you’re stationed on. 

“Oh fuck-!” You gasp, loving every moment of this. The feeling of him slobbering and drooling all over your cunt, fucking you deep with his tongue. Soon once you’ve come on him twice, he’s licking back up, slotting between your trembling thighs. A dripping mess on the metal. “Such a sweet girl… taste like… candy…” He grins hellishly, a terrifying display of teeth and the glow of Miguel’s suit in this form. He presses against you, his monster cock now free and pushing against your sex. 

Feeling the veins and girth against your core, needing it, wanting it. Drooling yourself now, after all he’s already done. He pulls back, easing into you, pushing his monstrously thick dick into you. Carefully so as not to hurt you. For all his monstrosity, he does care for you, treat you as one of his own. And he can feel Miguel reaching him in the subconscious, telling him not to hurt you. But he would never do that anyway. 

“Oh! Ah!” You gasp, relaxing yourself to accept him, stretched out even after he worked you out before. Got you ready. But nothing could ever get you truly ready to take him. Crying out as he pumps into you, fucking you into oblivion. 

Your eyes flutter back, your mind filling with images of Miguel. Your love. Desiring his touch, his caress. Almost feeling his hands on your breasts now, knowing the feeling of his hands, his grasp. Sensing his lips down your sternum and back up to your neck. Managing your arm out of one of the webs and tangling your fingers in his hair. Eyes flicking open and seeing your boyfriend’s hulking shoulders over you as you’re being pumped full. 

It is him. Both arms pull free and around him, feeling his warm skin, the comfort of his warmth. Feeling him bury his face into your neck, Venom retracting down his body and back inside, letting your boyfriend have his turn. The black veins running down his skin as he comes back into form, disappearing back inside his body except for a few tendrils that slither and swirl around your tits, rub around the juncture of Miguel’s cock in your pussy, stimulating your clit and bringing you closer. Squeezing Miguel’s back muscles as you finally come. Gushing on Miguel and Venom’s tendrils that long to keep you filled, keep you satisfied. 

Taglist!! love my sweeties!

@spooky-sculder

@slushycoookie @xxyaoi-nationxx @snails-doodles22 @scaryplanetdestroyer @fate13

@divorcepaperz @yeahnohoneybye @zaunsin @tomalymme @drefear

@mrs-pondwater19 @saintdiior @aphinthestars @hyjionie

@palomanh @maxad99 @muuuwoppppp @reader-1290

@sp0ck136 @lazyninjaphilosopher

@pinkdizzyship @opalwitchart

if you'd like to be added/dropped from the taglist, please comment on my masterlist post. Or else I might not see it! thank you! 🩷

[mostlysignssomeportents]

I assure you, an AI didn’t write a terrible “George Carlin” routine

There are only TWO MORE DAYS left in the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

On Hallowe'en 1974, Ronald Clark O'Bryan murdered his son with poisoned candy. He needed the insurance money, and he knew that Halloween poisonings were rampant, so he figured he'd get away with it. He was wrong:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Clark_O%27Bryan

The stories of Hallowe'en poisonings were just that – stories. No one was poisoning kids on Hallowe'en – except this monstrous murderer, who mistook rampant scare stories for truth and assumed (incorrectly) that his murder would blend in with the crowd.

Last week, the dudes behind the "comedy" podcast Dudesy released a "George Carlin" comedy special that they claimed had been created, holus bolus, by an AI trained on the comedian's routines. This was a lie. After the Carlin estate sued, the dudes admitted that they had written the (remarkably unfunny) "comedy" special:

https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/01/george-carlins-heirs-sue-comedy-podcast-over-ai-generated-impression/

As I've written, we're nowhere near the point where an AI can do your job, but we're well past the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week

AI systems can do some remarkable party tricks, but there's a huge difference between producing a plausible sentence and a good one. After the initial rush of astonishment, the stench of botshit becomes unmistakable:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/03/botshit-generative-ai-imminent-threat-democracy

Some of this botshit comes from people who are sold a bill of goods: they're convinced that they can make a George Carlin special without any human intervention and when the bot fails, they manufacture their own botshit, assuming they must be bad at prompting the AI.

This is an old technology story: I had a friend who was contracted to livestream a Canadian awards show in the earliest days of the web. They booked in multiple ISDN lines from Bell Canada and set up an impressive Mbone encoding station on the wings of the stage. Only one problem: the ISDNs flaked (this was a common problem with ISDNs!). There was no way to livecast the show.

Nevertheless, my friend's boss's ordered him to go on pretending to livestream the show. They made a big deal of it, with all kinds of cool visualizers showing the progress of this futuristic marvel, which the cameras frequently lingered on, accompanied by overheated narration from the show's hosts.

The weirdest part? The next day, my friend – and many others – heard from satisfied viewers who boasted about how amazing it had been to watch this show on their computers, rather than their TVs. Remember: there had been no stream. These people had just assumed that the problem was on their end – that they had failed to correctly install and configure the multiple browser plugins required. Not wanting to admit their technical incompetence, they instead boasted about how great the show had been. It was the Emperor's New Livestream.

Perhaps that's what happened to the Dudesy bros. But there's another possibility: maybe they were captured by their own imaginations. In "Genesis," an essay in the 2007 collection The Creationists, EL Doctorow (no relation) describes how the ancient Babylonians were so poleaxed by the strange wonder of the story they made up about the origin of the universe that they assumed that it must be true. They themselves weren't nearly imaginative enough to have come up with this super-cool tale, so God must have put it in their minds:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/29/gedankenexperimentwahn/#high-on-your-own-supply

That seems to have been what happened to the Air Force colonel who falsely claimed that a "rogue AI-powered drone" had spontaneously evolved the strategy of killing its operator as a way of clearing the obstacle to its main objective, which was killing the enemy:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/04/ayyyyyy-eyeeeee/

This never happened. It was – in the chagrined colonel's words – a "thought experiment." In other words, this guy – who is the USAF's Chief of AI Test and Operations – was so excited about his own made up story that he forgot it wasn't true and told a whole conference-room full of people that it had actually happened.

Maybe that's what happened with the George Carlinbot 3000: the Dudesy dudes fell in love with their own vision for a fully automated luxury Carlinbot and forgot that they had made it up, so they just cheated, assuming they would eventually be able to make a fully operational Battle Carlinbot.

That's basically the Theranos story: a teenaged "entrepreneur" was convinced that she was just about to produce a seemingly impossible, revolutionary diagnostic machine, so she faked its results, abetted by investors, customers and others who wanted to believe:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theranos

The thing about stories of AI miracles is that they are peddled by both AI's boosters and its critics. For boosters, the value of these tall tales is obvious: if normies can be convinced that AI is capable of performing miracles, they'll invest in it. They'll even integrate it into their product offerings and then quietly hire legions of humans to pick up the botshit it leaves behind. These abettors can be relied upon to keep the defects in these products a secret, because they'll assume that they've committed an operator error. After all, everyone knows that AI can do anything, so if it's not performing for them, the problem must exist between the keyboard and the chair.

But this would only take AI so far. It's one thing to hear implausible stories of AI's triumph from the people invested in it – but what about when AI's critics repeat those stories? If your boss thinks an AI can do your job, and AI critics are all running around with their hair on fire, shouting about the coming AI jobpocalypse, then maybe the AI really can do your job?

https://locusmag.com/2020/07/cory-doctorow-full-employment/

There's a name for this kind of criticism: "criti-hype," coined by Lee Vinsel, who points to many reasons for its persistence, including the fact that it constitutes an "academic business-model":

https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5

That's four reasons for AI hype:

to win investors and customers;

to cover customers' and users' embarrassment when the AI doesn't perform;

AI dreamers so high on their own supply that they can't tell truth from fantasy;

A business-model for doomsayers who form an unholy alliance with AI companies by parroting their silliest hype in warning form.

But there's a fifth motivation for criti-hype: to simplify otherwise tedious and complex situations. As Jamie Zawinski writes, this is the motivation behind the obvious lie that the "autonomous cars" on the streets of San Francisco have no driver:

https://www.jwz.org/blog/2024/01/driverless-cars-always-have-a-driver/

GM's Cruise division was forced to shutter its SF operations after one of its "self-driving" cars dragged an injured pedestrian for 20 feet:

https://www.wired.com/story/cruise-robotaxi-self-driving-permit-revoked-california/

One of the widely discussed revelations in the wake of the incident was that Cruise employed 1.5 skilled technical remote overseers for every one of its "self-driving" cars. In other words, they had replaced a single low-waged cab driver with 1.5 higher-paid remote operators.

As Zawinski writes, SFPD is well aware that there's a human being (or more than one human being) responsible for every one of these cars – someone who is formally at fault when the cars injure people or damage property. Nevertheless, SFPD and SFMTA maintain that these cars can't be cited for moving violations because "no one is driving them."

But figuring out who which person is responsible for a moving violation is "complicated and annoying to deal with," so the fiction persists.

(Zawinski notes that even when these people are held responsible, they're a "moral crumple zone" for the company that decided to enroll whole cities in nonconsensual murderbot experiments.)

Automation hype has always involved hidden humans. The most famous of these was the "mechanical Turk" hoax: a supposed chess-playing robot that was just a puppet operated by a concealed human operator wedged awkwardly into its carapace.

This pattern repeats itself through the ages. Thomas Jefferson "replaced his slaves" with dumbwaiters – but of course, dumbwaiters don't replace slaves, they hide slaves:

https://www.stuartmcmillen.com/blog/behind-the-dumbwaiter/

The modern Mechanical Turk – a division of Amazon that employs low-waged "clickworkers," many of them overseas – modernizes the dumbwaiter by hiding low-waged workforces behind a veneer of automation. The MTurk is an abstract "cloud" of human intelligence (the tasks MTurks perform are called "HITs," which stands for "Human Intelligence Tasks").

This is such a truism that techies in India joke that "AI" stands for "absent Indians." Or, to use Jathan Sadowski's wonderful term: "Potemkin AI":

https://reallifemag.com/potemkin-ai/

This Potemkin AI is everywhere you look. When Tesla unveiled its humanoid robot Optimus, they made a big flashy show of it, promising a $20,000 automaton was just on the horizon. They failed to mention that Optimus was just a person in a robot suit:

https://www.siliconrepublic.com/machines/elon-musk-tesla-robot-optimus-ai

Likewise with the famous demo of a "full self-driving" Tesla, which turned out to be a canned fake:

https://www.reuters.com/technology/tesla-video-promoting-self-driving-was-staged-engineer-testifies-2023-01-17/

The most shocking and terrifying and enraging AI demos keep turning out to be "Just A Guy" (in Molly White's excellent parlance):

https://twitter.com/molly0xFFF/status/1751670561606971895

And yet, we keep falling for it. It's no wonder, really: criti-hype rewards so many different people in so many different ways that it truly offers something for everyone.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

Back the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle here!

Image:

Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

--

Ross Breadmore (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/rossbreadmore/5169298162/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[andorappreciation]

There have been times where the struggle seemed impossible... Together, unrested, daunted by the lack of news or trailer, we have waited…and waited…

But the day has finally come when all these edits and drawings, these metas and fics…will help the Andor fandom countdown to the Season 2 premiere!

Sunday, April 6th to Thursday, 17th (ahead of all the Star Wars Celebration excitement) @andorappreciation will be hosting 12 Days of Andor: a fandom-wide event celebrating our resilient, creative, talented community and the long-anticipated return of our favorite rebellious show.

Prompts

April 6th, Day One: Networks Either Change or Die Dive into the interconnectedness of this complex narrative. Find the ties that bind characters, factions, and plots. Parallels, theses, and themes… obvious or unhinged, make your case!  Alternate Prompts: Symbolism || Elements

April 7th, Day Two: Everyone Has Their Own Rebellion Themes, politics, messaging--there were many reasons for Andor’s success, but chief among them was what the show had to say, both about our world and the world of Star Wars. Examine Nemik’s Manifesto, or offer your own treatise on Luthen’s methodology, but whatever you do, don’t lose your nerve! Alternate Prompts: Underrated Quotes/Dialogue || Sacrifice

April 8th, Day Three: I Show You the Stone in My Hand, You'll Miss the Knife at Your Throat Mon Mothma was speaking for more than just herself here– dualities and split identities are a throughline in Andor. Whether it’s Vel Sartha playing as the spoiled rich girl or Lonnie Jung literally posing as a double agent within the ISB, explore the world of deception and the webs of lies that hold the Rebellion and the Empire together. Alternate Prompts: Underrated Scenes || Ambiguity

April 9th, Day Four: Kill Me, Or Take Me In The last words of the first season, uttered by the show’s protagonist. With this ominous bargain, we were all left to speculate wildly about the upcoming second and final season. Here’s your chance to share those theories and predictions, from the most sound hypothesis to the crackiest wish fulfillment!  Alternate Prompts: Penultimate Moments || Death

April 10th, Day Five: They Don't Even Think About Us But we bet you do right? Everyone has their own rebellion, yes, but everyone also has their very own Glup Shitto. Are you a Time Grappler Stan? A Blue Noodle boy? Show your love for your Andor Shittos!  Alternate Prompts: Underrated Side Characters || Nature

April 11th, Day Six: That's Just Love...Nothing You Can Do About That Just like with every good story, the relationships among the characters are what draw us in and keep us hooked. Whether it’s a fraught love story or a complex connection between mother and son, Andor is rife with intricate interpersonal relations and, ultimately, a hell of a lot of love. Share your feelings about the relationships you find most compelling!  Alternate Prompts: Doomed by the Narrative || Echoes

April 12th, Day Seven: We Are Healthcare Providers Are you fascinated by the crushing bureaucracy of the ISB? The ponderous gears of the Imperial war machine? Do you simply love Dedra Meero and think she's neat? Share your thoughts about the Empire and the unique way that Andor explores the banality of evil! Alternate Prompts: Character Arcs || Morality

April 13th, Day Eight: "Pilgrim" Are you the biggest Nicolas Britell fan ever? Have you memorized every interview with Denise Gough? Have you watched everything Diego Luna is in? Show your appreciation for the incredible cast and crew that make this show come to life!  Alternate Prompts: Favorite Quotes about the show || Behind the Scenes

April 14th, Day Nine: Pockets, Piping, Some Light… Tailoring From the rich costumes to the lavish sets, Andor gave us some truly sumptuous designs to sink our teeth into. Explore the details of costumes, sets or both!  Alternate Prompt: Hidden Details || Colors

April 15th, Day Ten: Peezos… The Greenie Green Ones Run up to Arkie’s and pick up some shit posts! Just make sure you don’t look like ‘you’re a part of it’. Alternate Prompts: Favorites (episodes, characters, etc) || Humor

April 16th, Day Eleven: You’re My Ideal Reader Have a fic that you just love? A gifset that you stare at until your eyes water? A manifesto with not enough circulation (in your opinion)? Spread the love and recommend your favorite metas, edits, fan art, podcasts, gif sets, fics, whatever you’d like!  Alternate Prompt: Alternate Universe || Time

April 17th, Day Twelve: ONE WAY OUT!  You’re free! Hopefully you can swim! AKA: Dealer's choice || Free Day

How It Works

We have included multiple prompts for each day to provide optimal opportunities for fan work creators of all kinds. Pick a prompt and create to your heart’s content! When the day arrives, post your work!

Feel free to tag us @andorappreciation! We will also be tracking #12DaysofAndor2025

Do’s & Don’t’s

DO

Have fun, be creative and follow us for all the glorious content!

Please reblog!

Pop some peezos. The greenie green ones!

DON’T

Repost work that is not yours or work without credit

Post work without proper tagging/warnings

Post offensive material including non-con or bigotry

Any questions, concerns, or clarifications can be submitted via ask.

Sincerely,

@andorappreciation

ALL CREDIT FOR THE INCREDIBLE CASSIAN BANNER AND B2 DIVIDERS GOES TO LOVELY MOD @ninsletamain

[the-midnight-blooms]

SHAMELESS WOMAN | smg

PROLOGUE

pairing: ghostface!song mingi x reader (ft. ghostface!jeong yunho) AU: modern au word count: 3.2k warnings: yandere themes, stalking

masterlist

A/N: I've never actually watched Scream but I love the concept, so general ideas revolving around the character will be used here (i also saw yungi!ghostface fanart, which i am OBSSESSED with).

A chat room is an online platform that enables users to communicate with each other in real time. Chat rooms are typically hosted on a server with an internet connection, enabling members from around the world to hold conversations about various topics.

Upbeat 80s rock music reverberates of the four walls of her room, the pen nib scratches, furiously, across the thin lined paper as her mind spills the plethora of knowledge that's locked up within it. Dropping the pen to the side, a long groan escapes her lips in tiredness the bright light of the computer screen gnawing at her attention. As she flicks between the several open tabs on her web browser, loitering in the far corner is an underground chat room for ‘conventional losers’, i.e. nerds, geeks, freaks, goths and emos and every other ostracised sub-cultural group you could think of. The thought itself was quite fascinating to her, which one was she? Or rather, was she the pretentious introvert who thought herself higher than those who defied society's conventional train of thought and aligned herself with the populars?

Snapping her book shut, she closed several of the academic pages she had open; leaving her with the final one: the infamous chat room. She’d already logged in, curiosity masticating her rationality and browsed a few pages, sent a few quick messages to people the website had recommended based on her ���favourite topics”.

Her eyes glance carefully across the blaring screen, the blue light penetrating into her steady gaze as she reads the username that steals her undivided attention.

@ pyscho.killer

A snicker escapes her lips, she surfs their profile finding very little information about them, other than ‘Fix on’. Goodness, is she really going to talk to this person just because he too enjoys listening to Modern Talking? Her lips purse in contemplation as she clicks on ‘Message’, there’s no harm in conversing with someone you don’t know. Right?

modern-division: Fan of the Talking Heads much?

She prides herself on her nonchalance, if he wasn't to respond she really wouldn't care. After all, Yeji had invited her to join a number of societies at university and despite the fact that none of the them seemed particularly interesting to her; there was no harm in joining at least one or two if the outcome was a few friends to make her strenuous four years more bearable.

Ping. Her head snaps back to computer screen as she shoves all of her pens back into the pencil case; a dirty habit from childhood to spread all of her things across the table and then spend five minutes, impartially, cleaning everything up.

psycho.killer: Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est?

modern-division: Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, better

psycho.killer: Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away,

psycho.killer: I think I have met my match. To whom do I now call mine?

A childish giggle escapes her, she leans back in her seat in a knowingness that she may now actually enjoy being on this sketchy platform. Careful, yet. She doesn't actually know this stranger.

modern-division: AHAHA you’re funny, Mr Fix On (what does that even mean?)

psycho.killer: that’s not for you to know, darling.

psycho.killer: let me guess…you like joy division and modern talking?

modern-division: what gave it away?

psycho.killer: I guess you’re pretty funny too

It's quite absurd to believe that a famous hit song by the 'Talking Heads' is what got her, her new best internet friend yet the notion is very much a fact. So much so, her life is now consumed by the chat rooms she used to look down on. Social media is very much a vortex, or vacuum of some kind, sucking one in; leaving them void of humanity, stripping them down of some yearning for human interaction. Or at least that's what it did to most. After a long day of lectures, she found herself wanting to be able to see 'Mr Fix On' in person, talk to him in person, be able to stare into his eyes.

Speaking of. As a matter of fact, she didn't even know what he looked like. Just that he was South Korean, had short black hair and brown eyes. She too allowed herself to share the same amount of information that he provided. Mum did say not to go around talking to strangers, and even if she was doing just that; she was not dim enough to start revealing absolutely everything about her identity.

The autumn leaves sway softly with the gentle breeze, a waft of biting air floods over her sending a ripple of goosebumps over her supple skin. Her shoes crunch the delicate leaves, that pave the way to her home, yet she feels a daunting figure stalk after her. For a split second, she believes herself to be hallucinating as she takes a daring look behind her shoulder to find the street behind her, empty.

A tall figure strolls after her, picturing landmarks that carves the path to her home. His soft dark brown hair tousles with the wind, the cold forging a pink blush over his cheeks; sinking his long nose into the woollen scarf his movements come to an abrupt halt as his heroine plunges her eyes into his.

God, she's fucking pretty.

They move over his, hastily, as to her he's simply rifling through his bag for a wallet in line for an expensive coffee alongside a couple of old-age pensioners.

Conclusion: She is paranoid, there is no one after her. Yet as it is autumn in her unsafe town, its better to be cautious than to walk across the surface of the earth with no walls at all.

psycho.killer: wanna join a gc with my friend? he likes some of the same music as us.

psycho.killer: plus, he's a compsci loser who needs a friend

It's been at least a month since she had began talking to 'psycho.killer', who she had learnt his name is: Mings. Or rather its a shorthand version of his forename that he is weirdly reluctant to disclose, as he insists on her calling him 'Min' or "darling, my lover, husband- whatever floats your boat." He is truly charismatic, his charms are perceived from the other end of the screen. She wonders what it would be like to see him in real life. Is he truly as amiable as he reads?

modern-division: haha, i don't mind. what's his @ ?

psycho.killer: its @ killed.theradio.st4r

modern-division: you guys are my people

She hums the tune to 'Video Killed the Radio Star." Her mother's soft laughter pervades her way into her room; the older woman places her washed clothes on the Chester drawer wondering how the younger generation manage to get invested in the songs of the past.

[psycho.killer added you to 'two losers and a hot nerd']

killed.theradio.st4r: helloo, i'm yuyu :)

modern-division: hi!

modern-division: also, who's the hot nerd?

psycho.killer: me.

killed.theradio.st4r: lmao. its you, doll.

Does Mings just refer to me as, Doll to everyone he speaks to?

modern-division: you don't even know what i look like

killed.theradio.st4r: guess we just know you're a hot girl by intuition

modern-division: what if i'm a man? ever thought about that?

psycho.killer: your bio literally states that you're a girl

psycho.killer: not-so-mysterious babe

It wasn’t so bad for someone online to know your gender, it was just ensuring that your femininity wasn’t exploited. She knew they would never ask her to share explicit content nor would they force her to engage in it, though talking to the pair of ‘Killers’ preserved an ominous feeling in the airs. She couldn’t tell if at any point, she really felt comfortable talking to either of the two.

To begin with, Min was always trying to call her. Ask her where she was, what she was doing, if she had she eaten, what time she was going to bed. He asked about her day, and if anyone bothered her in particular. To any other he may have seemed like a kind-hearted boyfriend yet to her it felt like an intruder had permeated into the walls of her bedroom and dominated her life. Then you had his esteemed friend, Yun. He was always deeming her the most beautiful being he had ever seen. She could see within his words the robust desire he had manifested from her words, the way he had subtly requested for her photos in order to fuel the raging fires burning in her absence.

He wanted her. Physically, to put it lightly. Indeed, she was a doll to him and to have her in his arms would purify him of all his sinful thoughts. Yun always brought it up with his friend, who had simply told him to put out those fires. (For the time being).

“Have you heard of ‘Ghostface’?” Her head snaps up from her workbook, in the library where one of her closer acquaintances sits opposite playing with her water bottle. A newspaper article sits in front with the notorious blurry image of a man with a ghost mask roaming around town.

“This is the first I’m hearing. I mean it’s Halloween soon, so it’s probably some idiot roaming around town.”

“An idiot? I don’t think so, ma’am. Read on, he’s been going around stalking people in his costume.” She raises her eyebrows, nimbly scanning her eyes over the text before returning back to her work. Though she cannot help but stare back at the blurred image of the figure. “I bet there’s a sexy man under all that.” Scowling at her friend, she sends a dirty look.

“You have got to be kidding me. A ‘sexy’ man. You said it yourself, he’s stalking people.”

“Yeah but, one of the girls from Art said he was mad tall and had this deep, attractive voice.”

“Yes, I bet he goes: ‘come here babe, let me kill you’ in his husky voice and you all go running to him because you have no morals.” Once again, she rolls her eyes whilst her friend merely giggles as if she is just pleasantly awaiting to be a victim. She rarely meets women who have an ambition for a victim complex, yet those she does: she steers away from.

“I’m only joking, but be real. Have you never heard a guy with a deep, attractive voice?” Her friend questions, making her pause her writing. In fact, she has. Mins’ voice has a sent over her railings during their late night calls, there’s something so potent residing within it. Intoxicating. It almost has her want to do everything he asks.

He is too, tall with a deep voice but there must be so many like him in this world.

The thought is dismissed and she shoos away her friend to allow herself to prioritise the exam that’s pending in two weeks time.

modern-division: have you guys heard of ghostface?

killed.theradio.st4r: why?

modern-division: just asking, apparently some loser is dressing up in a ghost mask and stalking people. idk if it’s just halloween round the corner though

killed.theradio.st4r: oh no :(

killed.theradio.st4r: could just be a halloween thing

modern-division: yeah, I think so too.

“So you like the librarian?”

“Mhm.” She steals her longing gaze away from him towards Yeji, who sends a vicious smirk her way. A blush taints her cheeks, knowing that Yeji will never live it down now. “I’m not gonna deny he’s pretty good looking.”

“Pretty good looking? He’s gorgeous as fuck. He’s not a want, he’s a need.” Playfully, she bites her lip suppressing a fit of giggles by burying her face into the textbook. A few others send irritated looks from across the room, which has the pair sinking in their seats. “You think a guy like him is single?”

“Absolutely not. If I had the chance, I’d snatch him up right away.” Her eyes flicker back to the tall man who catches her stare in an instant, he holds it before moving back to surf through the books on the trolley.

A low beat surfaces along the posters, her phone is sandwiched between her shoulder and cheek as she trudges furiously around the room looking for her scarf. Min's voice permeates her ears delicately, despite the alarming sentences he speaks; he converses in length about human anatomy saying that raw flesh must be easier to study than cadaveric tissue. As much as she agrees, just to play devil's advocate she will never admit that.

“I love your voice, Mings. It’s so deep, but like in a comforting way. As if you can protect me.” The declaration escapes her mouth before she can even stop it.

“Do you want to be protected by me, or from me, doll?” A pause lingers in the air, before he lowly chuckles—one that forces her to laugh with him though an uneasy feeling resides within her bones.

“By you, preferably.” She jokes, playing with the pendant of her necklace. A shadow looms by the open doorway, obscuring the stream of light that spills in from the hallway; the deafening silence panics her. “Mum!” She shouts, discarding the phone to the side in a frenzy.

“Yes! I just had a cup of tea for you, were you not studying?” The door is pushed open by nonetheless, her mother who waddles across the carpeted floor to settle the hot beverage down on the table.

“I was, I’m just tired now. Maybe I’ll come back to it later.”

“No, no. Go to bed, dear. I’m off to work, make sure you’re outside by 8, I’ll drop you.” A soft kiss is placed on her forehead, she is calmed by the maternal affection seeing her mother to the door before she dashes back into her room to find her phone.

The call must have been disconnected in the process of her flinging it elsewhere, her hands shake violently as she’s, pathetically, unable to hold the phone steady in her grasp. Mings has spammed her several times with messages, she doesn’t bother to read any of them.

modern-division: i’m tired, going to bed.

psycho.killer: goodnight, babygirl

In the midst of wandering through the aisles of the library, seeking books two shelves above her head, it instantaneously occurs to her that she’s never actually paid much attention to Yuyu and Mings’ pet names that they have for her. Doll, babygirl, darling, love, honey, etc. The list seems to never end yet she ponders the primary reason they get so comfortable around her is because she has never actually given them a reason to stop being so affectionate.

A cascade of books tumble down from the shelf, hitting the floor with a powerful slam—jumping backwards on instinct, she grimaces reaching down from them as a few pairs of eyes stare at her from their tables. Her face heats red in embarrassment, until another pair of hands comes to assist her.

"Goodness, how did you manage this?" Her eyes gleam up into another's; words lodge in her throat upon realisation of the being in front. It's the 'hot librarian', as her and Yeji have trademarked.

"Oh, I—they just fell." He raises his eyes at her.

"They just. Fell." A mischievous smile is sent her way as he stacks the books back onto the shelf, that's too high for her to reach anyway. "We'll call it the force of gravity then, shall we?" Shyly, she nods, handing him the last of the books. Her eyes reel in the name scrawled across the name tag. A thought Yeji will be pleased to hear drifts into her mind.

“I’m Yujin, by the way. I’m always at the help desk if you need to me to stack books that randomly fall off the shelf again.” Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. It clearly says ‘Yunho’, on his name tag. He stalks off in the opposite direction before she can question him, leaving her abandoned in the desolate aisle.

modern-division: the hot librarian lied about his name.

modern-division: I wonder why

Paranoia is no longer a delusion. It must be very true that someone is following after her.

Under the banner of the night, herself and Yeji walk back home after a long day of studying. They amble down the cobbled roads, yet her eyes cannot help but glance over her shoulder. There must be a man of some sort following them, his long calculated strides send a wave of fear pummelling through her. Instantly, she grabs Yeji’s hand dashing down the road towards the convenience store.

The dim lights flicker upon their arrival, she cowers behind the large aisles; ignoring her friend’s imperatives watching as a tall figure saunters into the store.

It’s him.

Jeong Yunho, the Librarian.

Or ‘Yujin’ as he addresses himself for reasons she assumes she will never know why.

Is he her stalker?

“I thought there was someone stalking us. There was a guy who walked all the way from the library to the road we just crossed behind us. I took a detour as well and he kept following.” She breathes out, leaning her head against the shelf.

“Are you kidding? Why didn’t you tell me?” Yeji squawks.

“I didn’t want him to suspect that I knew he was following.”

Her eyes sought ‘Yujin’ who gives her a sincere smile before he makes his way to the exit.

modern-division: I think there was someone following me

psycho.killer: ??? are you home? are you safe now?

modern-division: yes, but shit that was scary.

psycho.killer: let me call you bbg, I’ll help get your mind of it

Her phone vibrates in her hand, her finger traces over the red button before she lifts the device to her ear. His smooth tone infiltrates her ears again, easing the anxiety prevalent in the fibre of her muscles. She doesn’t know how Min does it. He helps her forget all about her problems, it’s as if he himself is the cure.

“Oh hey, baby. There was something I wanted to ask.” He pants slightly, the distant sound of leaves crunching drifts from the other end of the line.

“Are you outside?” He laughs.

“Yeah I’m walking home.” His hasty breaths pervade the line. One after another, a series of profane thoughts enter her mind. She is so disappointed in herself. “So, you got a boyfriend?”

“Why? Do you wanna ask me out on a date?” She teases, a lock of hair curls around her forefinger, the vibrato of his voice truanting into her ears, exhilarating her core as rush of certainty floods into her.

“Maybe, do you have a boyfriend?” He piques, she cannot help but grin at his words as if they are both playing a dangerous game of seduction, one she has never played before and one he has won a countless number of times.

“No.” Her truthful answer is not one that hurts her, though she says it as if she’s lying and has had countless lovers before in the past. Perhaps this is the persona that will have her enigmatic paramour crawling towards her.

“You never told me your name.” He acknowledges, 'Mings' has only ever called her 'doll'. Her moves are careful as she continues her cyber relationship with this unknown man, there's a reason she's at the top of her class—he thinks. A thread of messages enter from another chat room, his sharp eyes reeling in the words of his partner.

“Why do you wanna know my name?” Sheer curiosity. Yes, he told her he’s called ‘Mings’ but it’s just a silly nickname used to gain her trust. What is it really short for: Mingi? Mingyu? And Yuyu? Is it possible that he is Yunho? A foreign uneasiness rushes into her skin, she’s cautious as she sits up in her desk chair.

A bad feeling, an intuition of some sort.

He’s going to tell her something she doesn’t want to hear.

“I wanna know who I’m looking at.” Her finger immediately presses, harshly, onto the red button throwing her phone onto her desk. Her body jumps up from her seat, heart pounding furiously against her chest. With her body leaning closer to the window, her eyes outcast the front lawn in which a slender figure stands outside. A ghosts mask rests upon his face, his lanky frame is shrouded in a loose black cloth concealing the shape of his body. A large brick phone is held up against his ear, when he catches her staring down at him, his head cocks eerily to the side.

psycho.killer: Pick

psycho.killer: Up

psycho.killer: The

psycho.killer: Phone

psycho.killer: Doll.

•••

All Rights Reserved © the-midnight-blooms

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, REPURPOSE, OR PLAGISRISE ANY OF THE WORK HERE

A/N: happy 'late' Halloween! my timing is atrocious, but here's a 'small snippet' of a fic i may continue if my writing schedule allows. atm its a one-shot. What's your favourite scary movie? 👻

let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for any future fics I post!

tag list: @n0v4t33z @potatos-on-clouds @jjongwho

[phas3d]

Slytherin boys as gamer bfs and what games they would play with their significant other?

Gamers >:) | Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: cock fighting, animal cruelty, gambling, threats (these are all for fucking tom bc ofc it is...) - suicide joke (mattheo)

contains :: draco, tom. mattheo, theodore, lorenzo

notes :: im ngl idk half of these games in depth - i just heard and seen the sterotypes of these games - fps = first person shooter, dbh = detroit become human, abg = asian baby girl, bow = breathe of the wild ||

DRACO MALFOY sims 4 / roblox

This man sucks ass at gaming, he literally can't do it

His aim is shit, he screams when he's in a fight, and he rage quits the second he loses

So he has to stick to girly games

He has so many mods and cc for sims that it's insane

His pc runs like it's on life support because of this, pls save that poor computer

And he likes playing roblox too sometimes

But he doesn't even play the normal games

Bro plays Dress To Impress and Maple Hospital...

Like what the fuck are you doing there??? Go on BloxFruits or smth man

What's even worse is he eats EVERYONEEE up in Dress to Impress, he literally always top 3

And when he isn't top 3, he curses and swears but it doesn't go through cause tags

He literally cannot do obbys either oh my fucking god

You know that one meme of Sadness from Inside Out dropping her popcorn and someone quote-tweets it saying, "Damn she can't do anything"

That's exactly who Draco is when it comes to gaming

TOM RIDDLE dark web gambling / elden ring

Oh my fucking God this guy can't have a normal hobby ever

He doesn't game at all,,, literally just gambling bruh

He hosts illegal gambling rings online and even host some in the school basement

One time he even hosted an illegal cock ring fight...

Yes,,, he stole the chickens from Hagrid and made them fight....

He even used magic to give them powers like pokemon....

He made a fucking WATER chicken and FIRE chicken fight

Thank god he didn't actually let them kill each other, he just did it until one was near death

But back to gambling - he also manipulates people in so many ways

He casts a spell that silently chants "go all in, go all in" so it subconsciously makes people bet more

Bro even gets some students in DEBT!?!?! Like how tf did you do that and WHYYY would you do that

If someone doesn't come down to the basement in a while to gamble,,, then Tom will fix that

Besides illegal gamlbing...

He plays Elden Ring, which is pretty normal

Besides the fact that he BEAT THAT SHIT IN LIKE 2 DAYS?!!??!!?

Normally streamers, pro gamers, they all take weeks and sometimes even months just to make progress

But Tom is just,,, just better ig?

So yeah... He sticks to gambling cause every other game is just too easy for him

MATTHEO RIDDLE gta V / fortnite / rocket league / nba 2k24

God this guy is the worst sterotypical middle school boy ever

He even had the ugly ass big blue headset with the shit mic on it

Plays GTA V every now and then, only when he's angry

That's when he goes around town and just beats the shit out of everyone

Likes playing Fortnite for hours on end with his friends, mostly Theo and Lorenzo cause they can actually keep up with him (Draco is ass at FPS and

Plays rocket league and NBA 2k24 because of fucking course he does - look at him....

He's just a boy....

A really toxic one.....

Definitely screams "KILL YOURSELFFFFF!!!!!!" if he loses and honestly he's kinda real for that

THEODORE NOTT god of war / detroit become human

Loves games that have a long story

It's a good mix of story and fighting, he can't really get into pure FPS games

Have done most routes in DBH and even found easter eggs and hacks

Tries to get you into the lore as well but sometimes it goes so deep you get confused

"NO!!! Connor in route 8 is actually a pretty neutral guy and he's-"

Like bro what??? Why do you know everything about this "Connor" guy??? smh

He dabbles in some FPS sometimes, like playing Fortnite with Matt and Enzo

And he actually REALLY good

Has great aim and precision

But he just can't get into it for some reason, it's not his type

LORENZO BERKSHIRE valorant / zelda breath of the wild

I feel like Enzo playing Valorant makes so so sooo much sense

He's not AS toxic as the other guys, but he's still weird and fuck-boy-ish in his own way

Definitely plays with e-girls and tries to bag an ABG

But he gets catfished....

He's pretty good at Valorant, surprisingly

His mic stays on for every single game... Even if no one else is talking

This man will talk to a fucking wall and still be yapping

"Okay guys way I need to pee" ...

There's only bots in his server.........

He also loves RPG games and stuff like that

So BOW is perfect for him to shut off his mind and just roam and do useless tasks

[hokusu]

#dabihawks 🍑🥞

Peach or pancake, Hawks fat ass or Hawks flat ass? The internet splits in outcry.

His fans faction off—between the bubble butt truthers and the firm pancake believers.

Is it photoshop or a trick of light? Is it an illusion, a trick of an eye? Something of a phenomenon between the internet breaking over the gold or blue of a dress?

The answer is unclear. Inexplicable. Debated, between the ages of kids on the streets comparing the bounce of their handballs to the shape of Hawks' bubble, to the grandma and grandpas across the streets, adjusting their glasses to squint and ask 'what ass?'

The forums explode. Hawks' rankings and public approval skyrockets. Is it Hawks' FLAT ass or Hawks' FAT ass?

Hawks laughs with talk show hosts, gossips with magazine columns. Cheeky grin and another line about he's certainly eaten enough pancakes to become one, that leaves the world wondering—is he serious, or is it another joke?

And Hawks will be seen flying across the city from one pancake house to another, enjoying another delectable stack.

Hawks winks in front of cameras too, a juicy ripe peach bitten through in one hand, to announce to the world that he's doing just "peachy" and the cameras will follow him as his unfold to uncover the round shape of his very own peach, as he takes off for another flight.

There are photoshoots of Hawks from all his modeling gigs paired side by side like perfectly realistic detective boards across the web. Snaps of perfectly round globes of flesh shot from high quality camera lens of those who caught a fluttering Hawks across their skies, body hunched over as he lazily passes by. And then there are modeling shoots released on myherogram, some new pair of jeans for Best Jeanist' line and he's so painfully flat from every shot of an angle, every swipe of the post—an arguably perfect flat pancake.

It's the baggy give of his hero costume, it's not Hawks' actual ass.

It's the reality of Hawks' actual ass, the costume just hurries that fact along.

'Hawks got ass. Seen it in person,' HawksPlumpAss writes. 1451 ButtLikes. 578 Rebutts.

'Hawks got no ass. Accidentally brushed past me once and didn't feel a thing. That man is flat as a board,' User AForHawksStandsForAssless writes back. 1454 ButtLikes. 524 Rebutts.

'Pics or it didn't happen,' User HawksOneTrueAss demands. 3769 ButtLikes. 1769 Rebutts.

'Top-hero. Plush ass. You'd best believe,' User HawksUnsuspectingAss writes.

'mfs out here thinking pro-hero hawks has got nothing when he's constantly flying and saving lives...YOU KNOW BIRD BOIS GOT ASS' User HawksBirdAss screams into the void. 2170 ButtLikes. 727 Rebutts.

'Who you calling bird boi like he's yours or smthg???' User HawksOneTrueAss comments. 4069 ButtLikes. 2569 Rebutts.

'listen, realistically bro has a plush ass he works out hes a top hero u kno he has the muscle. logically.' User Dove explains, politely. Beautifully, flawless. Even User HawksOneTrueAss likes the post, rebutts it for the world to see.

And then there are those who swear, upon the fan sight meetings of Hawks on the streets that they know ass when they see it. The debate takes the heroic world by a storm, and Hawks never confirms or denies the rumors, never justifies or settles the matter.

On an unsuspecting afternoon after months and months of Hawks peach vs pancake, villain Dabi dubbed user HawksOneTrueAss across the socials, snaps a shot, uploads it. Puts the discussion to rest.

The photo shows what is undeniably pro-hero Hawks' familiar golden locks, framed against the bare of his muscled back and a pair of ruby red wings. A pair of pants are slipped half way up to his thighs, undeniably plush ass hanging out and scandalously--a purple scarred hand grabs a fist full of the delectable globe, middle finger stuck out.

"Hawks true FAT Ass," User HawksOneTrueAss comments. 6969 ButtLikes. 6969 Rebutts.

The internet goes off its rails.

//

Shout-out to my friend Dove (draculpyre) on twt/bksy for the actual line in the dumbest crack I wrote and @hawks-flat-ass for the name that started this to begin with 😂💛

[maevebabyy]

TRICK OR TREAT

daniela avanzini x fem reader

summary - you end up going to the halloween party that your best friend, daniela, has been bugging you about for ages.

tags - fluff, wlw, kissing

disclaimers - mentions of alcohol

a/n - happy halloween! (not proofread but tbh when do i ever 😭🙏)

wc - 2.2k

the halloween hype starts weeks in advance. everywhere you turn, decorations are popping up– ghosts and skeletons in front yards, spider webs in store windows, and the scent of pumpkin spice lurking around every corner.

it’s almost impossible to ignore, and you try your best to, shrugging off invitations and announcements about costumes and parties with a smile and polite ��maybe.”

of course, it’s your best friend daniela leading the charge. halloween is her favourite night of the year, and the one time she can pull out all the stops and go unapologetically overboard. she brings it up over and over, dropping hints about “the party of the year” and how it won’t be the same without you. you figure she’s just being daniela– relentlessly enthusiastic, her eyes practically glittering as she launches into details about the great halloween party her friend, lara, is hosting.

in her world, halloween is a sacred night for letting loose and transforming into someone else for a while. she has that bright energy about her that’s infectious, making you feel guilty for not feeling the same way. but every time she gives you that look– the hopeful one, with her head tilted just a little and her bottom lip pushed out in a pout– you have to remind yourself why it’s a “no.”

crowded spaces, loud music, and costumes just don’t have the same thrill for you. and the idea of navigating all that noise and chaos while everyone’s hyped up on alcohol and adrenaline? you’ve decided it’s just not for you.

but daniela doesn’t give up. every day, she’s back with new reasons to convince you. the costumes she’s planning, the outfits she’s narrowed down (several, of course– she still hasn’t decided between being a devil, a vampire, or a fairy). she even shares plans for her makeup, using you as a sounding board as she describes her ideas with absolute passion. you feel a little bad, knowing you’re not going, but she’s daniela, and she can get excited enough for the both of you.

-

finally, halloween night rolls around. the sky has that deep october shade of midnight blue, and the air is crisp and cool, with the faint scent of burning wood drifting in through your apartment window from somewhere down the street. it’s a perfect night for spooky activities, and you’re in the thick of it– on your couch, buried under a pile of blankets with a popcorn bowl by your side, ready to dive into a horror movie marathon.

the illuminated led clock read 8:08 pm as you start the first movie of the scary movie series. just then, your phone lights up, a familiar name popping up on the screen.

dani 👯‍♀️: “you’re really not coming?? 😭”

of course, daniela would do this. you can practically hear her voice as you read it. she’s done this every halloween night for as long as you’ve known her, trying to drag you to whatever halloween party she’s been convincing you to go to. she can never quite understand why you’d want to spend halloween as a homebody.

you sigh, a little amused, but mostly unmoved, typing back a response.

“dani, i love u, but we been over this 😭🙏 parties just aren’t for me

there’s no response, and you assume she's finally given up when a moment later, the door to your apartment swings open, and in comes daniela herself, horns and all, leaning dramatically against the frame.

“you’re really not going to make this easy, huh?” she whines, hands on her hips, glaring playfully.

she’s committed to her devil look– crimson lipstick, black eyeliner sharp enough to slice, and a skin tight red dress that somehow blends daring and classy in a way only the cuban girl can pull off. a pair of red horns peek through her golden curly hair, and a long black cape drapes over her shoulder, trailing behind her like a second skin, her red wings underneath.

you linger on her appearance for a moment longer than you’d like to admit, taking in the costume. you knew she was going as a devil, solidifying her choice a few days prior, but somehow you hadn’t pictured her like this– even more bold and confident, her usual energy amplified to a whole new level.

you’re snapped out of your thoughts however as daniela threw your keys onto your lap.

why did you ever give this girl your spare keys to your apartment?

you laugh, setting the remote aside and picking up your spare keys. “didn’t you get the hint, by, like, the third time i said no?

the latina sighs theatrically, throwing herself dramatically onto the couch next to you. “come onnnn. everyone’s going to be there. plus, it’s halloween, and it only happens once a year! this is basically, like, a holiday for people like me.”

“people who love noise and chaos?”

“yes,” she says, crossing her arms with a pout. “but also people who like to let loose a little. try new things! and… okay, people who are maybe also a little dramatic.” she shoots you look. “it’s fun! besides, i already know you’re going to get bored. i’m trying to save you from missing out on another great halloweekend!”

“highly unlikely,” you retort. “halloweekend is just an excuse for people to get drunk three nights in a row. besides, i’ve got movies, popcorn, and peace and quiet. sounds pretty great to me already.”

she huffs, pretending to be offended. “fine, fine,” she says, standing up in defeat, though she throws a little pout over her shoulder. “but just you wait. you’ll wish you’d listened to me.”

with that, she finally lets herself out, leaving the apartment feeling weirdly quiet in her wake. you settle back on the couch, restarting the first scary movie, convinced that you made the right choice. the lights are dim, the popcorn’s still warm, and the apartment is all yours once more.

but half an hour later, you find yourself scrolling through your phone. your instagram feed flooded with new stories and posts– photos of everyone in costume, videos of the party, and endless photos of the function.

what stood out to you the most though was the photos with daniela in them, her smile bright, her devil horns glinting under the flashing flights. even from a distance, she looks like she’s having the time of her life, and you can practically hear her voice in every photo that captures her laugh.

you’re about to put your phone down when daniela sends another text,

dani 👯‍♀️ : “wish yiu w ere here rn”

daniela was obviously already feeling a little tipsy judging from the way she texted. there’s a pang of something– maybe a little fomo, maybe even the slightest twinge of protectiveness. and then, against all common sense, you find yourself standing up and heading to your closet.

you dig though old clothes, trying to piece together something that could pass as a costume. after looking through a few options, you find it— a white dress, simple but just daring enough to feel like a costume. a quick search through your jewellery box turns up some silver accents, enough to give you a glimmering, almost ethereal look. by the time you’re finished, you’re not exactly sure what you’re going as… maybe an angel? or some kind of celestial spirit? either way, it feels good— different. you barely recognize yourself in the mirror.

taking a deep breath, you grab your phone and text daniela back.

“i guess i could come out for a bit”

her response is instant,

dani 👯‍♀️ : “YESSS abiut time!!!”

-

when you arrive, the party’s already in full swing. music pulses through the air, mingling with laughter and shouts, and lights flash from every corner of the crowded house. the smell of alcohol weighed heavily in the air as you weave your way though the costumes, searching for daniela. you finally spot her in the kitchen, laughing with a group of friends. but the moment she sees you, her laughter halts mid-sentence, and her eyes widen.

she makes her way over to you— stumbling a little bit along the way—, her gaze traveling over your outfit with something between surprise and… something else, something you can’t quite place. she raises an eyebrow, giving you a slow once-over.

“weeellll, look who-” she hiccups, giggling a little, “look who finally got in the spirit of halloween.”

you shake your head softly, “how much have you had to drink, dani?”

the cuban girl giggles at the question, “don’t worry, just enough is all!” she clears her throat, focusing her eyes, “but seriously! you’re actually here! am i that drunk?”

you give a little shrug, accompanied with an easy-going smile, trying to hide how nervous you feel under her intense gaze. “nope, i’m very much here. and, it was a last minute decision.”

her lips curve into a smirk, but there’s a softness in her expression, almost like she’s seeing you again for the first time. “last minute, huh?” she shakes her head with a chuckle, then sways lightly on her feet. “and here i thought angels were supposed to be innocent. you look… incredible.”

you feel your cheeks heat up. “i didn’t think anyone would actually notice that i’m an angel.”

“oh, trust me,” she says, glancing around the room, “people noticed.” her eyes flick back to you, a glint of mischief in them. “which is exactly why i’m going to cover you up before anyone else gets any ideas.”

before you can protest, she slips off her cape and drapes it over your shoulders, adjusting it to fit snugly around you. her fingers linger on your shoulders as she pulls you closer, her touch warm and steady. “can’t have people thinking they can mess with my angel,” she murmurs, her voice low and almost possessive.

you glance up at her, caught off guard by the sudden closeness, her face inches from yours. the party fades into the background, the music and noise replaced by the steady sound of her breath, the faintest hint of her perfume— mixed with the alcohol she’d been drinking— lingering in the air. her eyes lock onto yours, and there’s a spark between you, something unspoken, but undeniably there.

“should we find somewhere less crowded?” she suggests, her hand still resting on your arm, her words slightly slurred. you nod, letting her lead you to a quieter corner outside, where the night air feels cool against your skin.

out here, the stars shine bright, and the noise of the party fades into a distant hum. daniela leans against the wall, her devil horns tilted playfully, and crosses her arms, watching you with a mixture of amusement and something softer.

“you know,” she says, her voice quieter now and a bit more playful, “i wasn’t just trying to get you here for the party. it’s more fun with you around.” she stumbles slightly as she shifts her weight, catching herself with a laugh.

you meet her gaze, feeling your heart race a little faster. “really?”

she laughs, nodding, her cheeks slightly flushed. “yeah. this might sound cheesy, but i just…like having you here.”

for a moment, neither of you speaks. she steps closer, her hand lifting to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear, fingers grazing your cheek. “i don’t usually get all sentimental on halloween,” she whispers, a hint of vulnerability in her eyes. “but maybe i’ve always wanted an angel by my side.”

you swallow, the words settling between you, heavy and sweet. her hand lingers by your cheek, her gaze flicking down to your lips before meeting your eyes again, as if waiting, hesitating, right on the edge of something. the tension is thick, and you can’t shake the feeling that she’s waiting for you to make the first move.

in a moment of courage, you lean in slightly, your heart pounding as you search her gaze for any sign of what she wants. the air between you is electric, charged with unspoken words. daniela's breath hitches, her eyes sparkling with mischief and something deeper, and in a heartbeat, she closes the distance.

her lips meet yours, soft and warm, igniting a fire that spreads through you. it’s a kiss that feels like everything you’ve been waiting for, a mix of sweetness and urgency. you can taste the faint remnants of her drink, and it only makes you want her more.

as her hands slide to your waist, pulling you closer, you sink into the kiss, feeling her smile against your lips, as if she’s just as surprised by this sudden spark as you are. the kiss deepens, and you lose yourself in the warmth of the moment, the chaos of the party fading into the background.

finally, you pull away, breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you both smile. “maybe next year, i’ll help you pick out something a little less… dangerous,” she says softly, her breath warm against your skin.

you arch an eyebrow, a teasing smile forming on your lips. “dangerous?”

her laughter dances in the air between you, playful and light. “oh, absolutely. you’re hiding something under those angel wings.”

you chuckle, feeling the warmth spread through you. “well, i guess you’re not the only one who can surprise people.”

her smirk returns, full of mischief and charm. “i make no promises,” she whispers, her voice low, “but i’ll take my angel back inside.”

and as she leads you back to the party, her hand in yours, you can’t help but feel grateful you ended up going to this halloween party after all.

[kitten4sannie]

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴜʀᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇᴛ

ᴛᴇɴᴛᴀᴄʟᴇꜱ/ᴛɪᴛꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ➠ ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ

pairing: intergalactic alien idol! wooyoung x cyborg call girl! reader (fem) feat. ai! san

genre: futuristic au, idol au, smut

summary: your company pleasureplanet™ gets a call from the most sought after idol in your galaxy, requesting you for an evening. he shows you a side his fans have never seen before.

w.c: 2.5k

warnings: switch! wooyoung, reader adapts to whatever woo wants for her own pleasure ^^, alien heat cycles, woo’s got an big alien cock, implied voyeurism, praise, begging, tentacle sucking + fucking, deep-throating, titfucking, choking kink but not in the way you think, unprotected sex, just…so much cum and alien goo lol, breeding/impreg kink, actual impregnation (in this economic climate??), oviposition, creampie, cum inflation

a/n: i’m giving my lord and savior cthulhu all the credit for bestowing this idea upon me,, it’s not like i’ve been wanting to write something this heinous for months and months… where’d you even get that idea from?? haha…ha. but fr im so happy i finally got to write out something that’s akin to a hentai lol i’m living my best smut writer life rn. please heed the warnings and if you did so i hope you enjoy :3

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ᴘʟ4ʏɢ1ʀʟ ʙʏ ʟᴏʟᴏ ᴢᴏᴜᴀÏ

0:01 ❍─────── 4:28

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ᴘʀᴇᴠ | ꜰꜰꜰ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ɴᴇxᴛ

Wooyoung woke up from his sleep in a cold sweat, the flashing lights projecting from the room’s flatscreen making patterns on his glistening skin as he sat up, his body filled with an odd, though familiar heaviness that he knew he would have to take care of sooner than later. 

“Shit, is it happening already?” he whispered to himself, groaning as he pulled himself to the edge of the king-sized bed to sit comfortably. “San, do a body scan.” Wooyoung rubbed his tired eyes, waiting for his in-house AI system to kick in, a familiar ding suddenly ringing out inside the empty room.

A projection of a youthful man with sharp, feline-like features appeared on the wall closest to Wooyoung’s bed. He looked in Wooyoung’s general direction, giving him a cordial smile and a bow. “Good evening, Wooyoung.” Blue rings of light formed along the edges of San’s brown eyes, studying Wooyoung’s form. “It appears that your BPM is above normal range. Abnormal body temperature and cortisol production have been detected. Unusually high levels of arousal and semen production are recognized as well,” the AI stated matter-of-factly, blinking. “You seem to be exhibiting symptoms of a hormonal cycle that members of your sector are susceptible to displaying during this time of year. Would you like to see an in-depth analysis?” 

“Yes, San.” Wooyoung waited for a prompt to appear on the small computer built into his wrist, tapping a few options, various images being peojected to him. The application showed him what he was in denial about discovering, the bright red letters indicating that he was indeed smack dab in the middle of an intense heat, and to make things worse, he was carrying. To make matters even worse, he knew his kind was required to transfer his offspring to a willing partner, or else his own body would become a birthing ground.

Knowing that he had too many fans relying on him in the intergalactic entertainment world, it simply wasn’t an option for him to retire. He would have to find someone that could host them for him, but where? And so late in the night? Who could possibly–

“Hey, sexy, are you looking for a late-night lover?” an ample-chested member of the spider dimension with eight hooded eyes and fearsome mandibles questioned Wooyoung from the bright TV screen, bringing a bit of their web together into a pattern that formed a heart.  

“Oh?” Wooyoung murmured, realizing that just perhaps his reluctant, desperate prayers to his galaxy’s god were in the process of being answered.

A curvy gray alien leaning seductively against a bar table continued the spiel, “Someone you can unload your deepest desires onto? Someone that can make your wildest dreams come true?” 

“Well, look no further.” An enthusiastic, though automated voice took over this time, as the screen showcased the company’s shiny logo, while it flipped through a slew of optional playmates across the screen like pages of an open book, showcasing the wide range of choices Wooyoung had. “Our playmates at Pleasure Planet will take good care of you. For price options, call (XXX)-XXX.” 

Wooyoung bit his lip, about to look away from the TV when you popped up on the screen, drawing his attention to you, your human-like beauty mixed with the metal intricacies of a robot standing out to him. 

“Well, what are you waiting for, baby?” you asked Wooyoung through the screen, laying across a plush velvet couch in only a small black slip, your back arched, running your fingers up along your sleek body, until you brought them into your hair to push it behind your ears, your fingers brushing against the small lit-up chrome circle near your temple. “Give me a call~” 

Wooyoung gulped so hard, he almost swallowed his Adam’s apple, knowing what he had to do. He rubbed at his sweaty neck, feeling more beads of sweat trickle down along his collarbone to his chest, the loose sleep t-shirt that was hanging off his shoulders now tinted a darker color. “San, call Pleasure Planet and book me an appointment with the cyborg girl.” 

“Right away, Wooyoung,” San obeyed, bowing at the waist, before his image dissipated, the wall returning to a blank state. 

࿏࿏࿏

A soft ding sound filled the empty space of Wooyoung’s expansive cyber chamber after some time went by, finally distracting the overheated alien from his current predicament. He continued to lay in a fetal position on the side of his bed, too overwhelmed by the dizzying amount of arousal that was swirling around his insides like a shoal of fish. “Is…nnngh…she here, San?” 

San’s form materialized onto the wall once more, scanning his Master’s crumpled up body, running a number of tests, finding that the situation was beginning to grow imminent. “Yes, she is, Wooyoung. Please begin the mating ritual as soon as possible, to prevent less favorable outcomes. I’m sure your company wouldn’t want you–”

“You think I don’t know that, San?” he snapped back, holding a hand to his disruptive abdomen, groaning in both pain and unexplainable pleasure, as what Wooyoung could only describe as molten-hot lava churning around inside his core, just aching to spill out of him. “Where the fuck is she? I need to–”

“I’m here for you, Wooyoung. Please, put your worries to rest,” you replied as you entered his room, Wooyoung’s eyes following your movements like a moth to a flame, taking slow steps up to his bed, shedding various articles of your clothing until you were bare for him. 

“O-oh, hi,” Wooyoung croaked, doing his best to sit up in his bed with his head against his pillow, beads of sweat already soaking into it, strands of black hair sticking to his forehead. He watched you climb onto his bed and crawl towards him, his eyes shifting from your face to your body, trying to get his spinning mind to stop for a moment. “Wh-what’s your name?” 

“Y/N, but you can call me whatever you want. I’m yours for tonight~” You mounted him, lowering yourself down to feel his aching length pressing into your heat through his boxers. 

“Y/N…” he repeated softly, entranced by you. 

Smiling down at him, you gently ran your hands up his rapidly rising abdomen, feeling up his soft body along the way, eventually slipping him out of the sweater he was in, eliciting a whine from the alien below you. You brought your lips near Wooyoung’s parted ones, whispering against them, “Oh, baby, you’re in bad shape, huh? Need me to take care of you?” 

Wooyoung nodded weakly, his hands on your thighs, feeling your soft skin underneath his heated grasp. He squeezed into it, swallowing harshly, his Adam’s apple visibly bobbing inside his throat. “Y-yes, please, it hurts so bad…” 

San, who was still watching from the wall, cleared his throat, doing his duty and informing his Master of important information. “Master, please return to your body’s natural state soon. Your vitals are starting to worry me.” 

“I got it, San,” Wooyoung grunted, glaring at the AI, before returning his attention to you. “Oh my god…” He groaned at the sight of you running your hands up and down your perfectly created body, your fingers slipping past the metal, glowing seams that sealed you together, until you got down to your glistening cunt, your fingers spreading yourself open for his viewing pleasure, all while grinding back and forth against his slippery, clothed length. “Y/N…fuck…I just…don’t want to scare you…” 

“You won’t, trust me. Please, let yourself go, Wooyoung, it’s okay,” you reassured him softly, licking at your fingers before they returned to your perfect pussy, rubbing at your clit, feeling zaps of electricity course through your body, your artificial synapses firing off inside your brain. “I’ll take care of you, I promise.” 

Inhaling sharply, Wooyoung closed his eyes for a moment to ground himself, knowing you wouldn’t judge every inch of him like people on the Universal Net did. Little by little, he let his body return to its natural state, small, ridged scales growing in patches along his skin, which exhibited an electric blue tint wherever his blood settled in the most, long, slick-covered tentacles emerging from his form, some of them idly curling around different parts of your body — the most notable change to his body being his cock, which tore out of his boxers from its size. It was no longer human-like, but instead resembled his wriggling appendages, had prominent ridges, leaked a steady flow of blue, viscous pre-cum, and had an obvious girth to it, thick, heavy-looking, and perhaps capable of stretching you open to your particular model’s max capacity for cock.

“Oh, Wooyoung,” you sighed, small digital hearts forming within your hooded eyes, cupping the alien’s flushed face, bringing your lips to his. “You're beautiful.” 

Wooyoung melted into your kiss and body respectively, bringing his hands up to your own face, holding it, his tentacles exploring the rest of your form for him, a few curling around and in between your tits, others sliding along your thighs and hips, while his slippery cock idly rubbed back and forth along your cunt like it had a mind of its own, sending waves of pleasure into the both of you. “Fuck, I need you so bad, Y/N…” 

A string of saliva broke your kiss as you pulled back, squeezing your tits together around the tentacle that was between them, licking at the wriggling tip. “How bad, baby? How bad do you want to fill me up with your cock?” you asked breathily, feeling the tentacle begin to thrust faster and faster, dripping blue pre-cum onto your slick skin. “You want to fuck your cum into me, Wooyoung? Fuck me so deep, it reaches my womb?” 

“Y-esss, please, oh my god, please,” Wooyoung moaned out, grabbing at your hips, continuing to grind his large, ridged cock against your cunt, unable to stop gasping for air from how hard he was breathing. 

“Then, come here,” you purred, reaching down to grab Wooyoung’s cock and pushing it inside you, feeling it fill you up inch by inch until your hungry cunt swallowed it in its entirety, your bodies essentially becoming one. 

Any semblance of composure completely left Wooyoung’s burning body in that moment, encouraging him to grab onto your hips like handlebars and drive his cock deep into your cunt over and over, his tentacles still eagerly exploring the expanse of your skin, some rubbing into your clit, others still preoccupied with your now bouncing tits, an additional tentacle loosely wrapping around your neck, the tip of it sliding along your cheek like it was licking you. “Feels so fucking good being inside you, Y/N, I’m gonna melt.” 

“Take me, Wooyoung, do whatever you want to me,” you told the alien in between pants, opening your mouth when Wooyoung’s tentacle rolled down your other cheek and across your lips, eventually slipping inside your mouth when you opened up, the small round disk built into your temple continually flashing blue the longer your body short-circuited with pleasure, your sensitive flesh squelching lewdly each time they joined together in slick, gooey harmony. 

Wooyoung watched you with a fondness that bordered obsession, drooling at the sight of his appendage fucking itself into your bulging throat that it was wrapped tightly around, still bringing you down onto his cock at an unnerving speed, the heaviness swirling around inside his lower abdomen growing more and more prominent. “I’m going to breed you, Y/N, did you know that? I’m going to fill you to the fucking brim with my kids.” 

You gurgled happily around the thrusting tentacle that was currently stretching out your lips and throat, your body shuddering with pleasure once load after load of blue goo spilled into your willing mouth, dripping down the sides of your chin and traveling along the rest of your slicked-up body. The tentacle left your mouth with a lewd pop and slowly wrapped around your waist instead. “Fill me up, Wooyoung, please, fuck it in me, deeper, I need it,” you begged him, desperately driving yourself down on his thick cock, cupping your own overheated cheeks, the hearts inside your eyes growing more and more bright each time the alien’s cock slipped deep inside your sloppy cunt.  

“Gonna fuck you so full, Y/N, gonna plug you up with my cock so you have to be my breeding bitch again and again,” Wooyoung mindlessly moaned out, simply driven by his overwhelming lust and instinctual urge to procreate, the heaviness moving closer and closer to his pulsing cock. 

“Yes, give it to me, please…!”

San, who had been silently observing the entire time, cleared his dry throat up to announce, “Delivery of offspring will be completed in…three…two..one…”

Neither you nor Wooyoung could tell who had came harder between the both of you, your joined moans and pants filling up the heavy air in the room. Wooyoung’s hands were cemented against your lower abdomen, able to feel as each warm, egg-like object had been deposited into your contracting cunt. “Feel them?” he asked under his breath, looking up into your barely open eyes.

“Yeah, I feel them,” you breathed, feeling dizzy just from the sensation of being filled to the absolute brim, Wooyoung’s cock acting as a dam until he knew that nothing except loads of his cum would come out afterwards, a small bulge present inside your stomach being the proof of what had been done to you. 

Wooyoung let out a small whine, slowly pulling out of you, his cock flopping lifelessly onto his pelvis, his eyes focused on the way your used hole fluttered around nothing, dribbles of electric blue cum dripping out, until a flood of it came seeping out in between your sticky bodies. With a blissful smile on his face, Wooyoung rubbed your stomach with gentle circles, humming to himself. “Let me know when you’re ready for another round, okay, baby?” 

You smiled softly down at him, placing your hand over his, ready to ask him for another round as soon as possible when San spoke instead.

“I hate to interrupt, but you have quite the schedule tomorrow, Wooyoung…practice at 9, vocals at 11, a fan meeting in the Twilight Quadrant at 3….” San slowly informed in a disheartened tone, a drop of sweat cascading down the side of his sleek face. 

Wooyoung growled, grabbing a pillow and tossing it at the wall, the image of San blurring temporarily. “Shut off! Shut down, San!” He looked back at you, rubbing your hips gently, unable to stop smiling at your pretty cybernetic face.

San disappeared from the wall, but his voice remained. “Just so you know, I don’t actually have a shut-off button, Wooyoung. I’m sentient…” 

Wooyoung’s fingers clenched into your hips, his eyebrows twitching downwards. “Oh my god, San, just wait till I fucking figure out how to hack your programming…” 

San cleared his throat, shaking his head, though it wasn’t visible to either of you, especially since you were both too busy eye-fucking each other. “Again, I’m sentient. That’s out of the realm of possibility.” 

“San!” 

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© kitten4sannie, 2024.

[crossdreamers]

A guide to chromosomal variations

Over at Instagram Melly the Science Geek has published a mind blowing video about how chromosome decide (or do not the decide) the sex of a person.

The world is a a very complicated place, indeed.

And at this point we have not even begun to talk about gender identity.

The Science Vet on XX, XY and all the other variations

Melly's video reminds us of the very popular twitter thread made by the Science Vet back in 2018.

We take the liberty of republishing that thread here:

So. Hi new people! Apparently, we're gonna talk about sex. Like physical sex! Because... there's some confusion.

First, sex defined: We're talking physical sex here, not gender. Body parts, hormones, and genetics (and more).

BLUF: BIOLOGICAL sex is a spectrum

Ok, everyone's super familiar with the XX/XY dichotomy, right? Yeah, what we all learned in like... 4th grade? And that's great, it gives you a starting point. But it's... well it's only the very starting point.

The IDEA is, XX is girl, XY is boy, right?

Welllll... that's not totally right. There are XY people, who have ovaries! And give birth! AH! And XX people who have male bodies and functional sperm! Double AH!

These are usually written off as "abnormalities" and indeed, some cases have medical issues. But many don't (like the XY woman giving birth). And this is really only the very very tip of the iceberg of "wait, that doesn't fit into our M or F box unless we make it bigger"

There's a WHOLE HOST of things that can cause all sorts of "weird" things to happen, ranging from genetic (XXY, XYY, Y, X, XX with translocation, XY with deletion) to hormonal (Androgen Insensitivity, Estradiol failure), and disruptors like dioxins

So, you're a scientist, and you want to research stuff, right? Which means you have to categorize stuff. Without categories, data is hard! So you take allll these people, including the "weird" ones and you plot them on a graph. Logical!

You use all the differences there are, different genetics, different responses to hormones, different effectiveness in signalling pathways, different sizes in Aanteroventral periventricular nucleus (AVPV) (yeah that's a thing) and give everything numbers, add them up.

You get what's called a bimodal distribution (mostly, we'll get to that later) Which looks like this. Those two big peaks are what we call "male" and "female" (even conveniently colored pink for boys and blue for girls - we are using victorian gender colors right?)

/8

Now, when you're trying to look at data, we often group stuff. When we do that with a plot like this, it's called a "histogram." Basically we're breaking down a curved line into discrete "bins." Like this (image stolen from the web).

/9

Traditionally, we've used REALLY BIG bins for this when talking about sex. Basically you either group everything vaguely near a peak into the peak, or you just pretend there's nothing else but the biggest peaks. This makes it super easy, because 2 is simple to do data with.

However, as we've gotten to know more and more about signaling and brains and hormones and started to pay more attention to the outliers where standard stuff just didn't seem to work, we discovered that this isn't a great model to use.

Now I'm not talking feelings here. I'm talking about data. As you start to look at anything interesting, like say the effects of 2,3,7,8-Tetrachlorodibenzo-P-dioxin on animals, you start to realize that a 2 bin model doesn't predict your results well.

At first you say, "Well it was just weird." So you redo it, and it still doesn't work. So you look at your model and you say, "Well ok, what if the model's wrong?"

But the model sort of... almost predicts a lot of things, and it worked for years, so...

Some enterprising soul says, "Hey, remember that histogram where we said we'll just model using the peaks?" And everyone goes, "Uh, yeah?" And they say, "What if we... USED that data?" And everyone groans, because complicated data is hard.

But someone sits down and does the work, and lo, wow the model starts to work again. Where TCDD was "randomly" turning some boys into girls but then some girls into boys, now you can see there's a subgroup of what you'd called "female" that responds like the "male"

What's important here is that you haven't MISLABELED males as females. These are functional "females" who can do all the usual "female" things like gestate babies. But they respond to this one endocrine disruptor in a "male" way.

So you add another two categories, call them "Male2" and "Female2" and go on, happy that your model works! You've got 4 sexes now, but you don't really have to tell anyone that, right?

Exceeeept then you remember you've got those XY people that gestate babies. So you add "Intersex1" And then the XX people with penes... and ovaries? Ok, "Intersex2" because all these groups respond differently with signalling and brains when you get into the weeds

And the more you look, the more we LEARN, the more we're able to separate out those fine differences. Depending on what we're doing, we may not care. If a doc is giving you aspirin, it probably isn't a big deal.

But if they're using a steroid on you? Or treating dioxin poisoning? THAT SHIT COULD BE IMPORTANT. It's like saying, "the light's off so the power must not be flowing." It really matters if the light's off because the bulb blew.

If we go back to that histogram plot, we can keep breaking down your biological sex into smaller and smaller differences in brain areas, hormone levels, signalling differences, genetic variances. There's nothing stopping us from binning EVERY INDIVIDUAL into their own bin.

Technically, this wouldn't be "infinite sexes" but 7.4 billion sexes is functionally close for our brains. Now, our medicine isn't advanced enough for THAT level of detail to make any difference. BUT IT MIGHT BE in the future. Individualized medicine!

The thing to remember is that this isn't "new." We're not 'inventing sexes' here. Sex has ALWAYS been this curve. We were just using REALLY BIG bins. And now we're realizing that that's not representative of biology, it's inhibiting understanding of medicine and biology

In case anyone's curious, this isn't ideology. This is because I had to figure out why my data didn't match the prediction. Those rats I mentioned? Yeah, my lab. And lab rats are a really pure genetic monoculture, and they STILL don't fit the two peak model well.

So, since it's come up, an addendum!

Yes, we looked at other things we could do to make our data fit the existing model, that's how science works! The ONLY way the data fit was if we let "sex" be more than just those two narrow peaks.

Models purpose in science is to predict. If they don't predict correctly, first we check if we've measured the data correctly, and repeat the experiment a couple more times. If it still doesn't fit, we have to look at the model.

Intersex! Because I didn't specifically mention this.

"Intersex" is a grouping bin used for a lot of the "middle ground" of the spectrum between the "male" and "female" peaks. Any situation where easily assigning the person to one of those two peaks is challenging.

Intersex! Because I didn't specifically mention this above.

"Intersex" is a term used to collectively speak of the "middle ground" of biology where people can't easily be binned into those two big "male" and "female" peaks. It can include a large range of biology

It is worth noting that I never talk about transgender in this thread. Intersex is not the same as transgender. You can be one without the other, or be both.

For people who think this is just "outliers"

Current estimates are that the intersex population is at least 2%. We know that's low because there are a lot of "invisibly intersex" people. That means AT LEAST 150 million people in the world.

I apologize for the failure to use the word "intersex" higher up in the discussion. Many people in the middle ground (including the XY person who can carry a child, for example) use this term. I cannot go back and edit the thread, and apologize for my overly clinical description. 

Part of the purpose of the thread, which may have failed, was to point out that "intersex" is not a condition, it is not a disease. It's natural with a bimodal distribution. Science not only supports this, it suggests that ignoring intersex people makes your conclusions wrong 

References at the end of this page.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Hazel Scott (Broadway Rhythm, Rhapsody in Blue)—ok ok let me tell you about Hazel Scott. She was a Trinidadian piano genius. By the age of 3 she could play the piano by ear. She would play jazzed-up versions of classics in nightclubs and could sing too! She appeared in five movies, and used her influence as a piano prodigy to improve Black representation in film—she turned down offensive parts, demanded equal pay, and always wore her own costumes to ensure she was portrayed as glamorous and beautiful. She was the first African-American woman to host her own television show, The Hazel Scott Show. She stood up for civil rights and was an overall icon! If you want to watch her being a genius, here she is playing two pianos at once. And here's this one that shows off her consummate glamor! [videos beneath the cut]

Ella Raines (Hail the Conquering Hero, The Suspect, Phantom Lady, The Web)— When she first appears on screen in Impact (1949) she's mistaken for a young man--she's dressed in mechanic overalls while fixing an automobile--but then she looks up, flashing the leading man with her piercing eyes (green according to IMDb) and his life (and mine) is never the same again. [53:23 in this clip]

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Hazel Scott propaganda:

Ella Raines propaganda:

 Just a few words: sultry, cool and mysterious.

 Just incredibly beautiful

[hs-transfusion]

> KANAYA MARYAM

HEMO: Blue (#004182) TROLLTAG: graveArtisan [GA] SIGN: Scorvir, Sign of the Radiant STRIFE: fankind MODUS: Origami LUNAR SWAY: Derse MYTH. ROLE: Witch of Blood LAND: Land of Thorns and Ivory

GA: This Will Be Over With Much Sooner If You Would Just. Stay. Still.

Kanaya is responsible for what LITTLE FASHION INDUSTRY THERE IS on Alternia, using her HIGHBLOOD STATUS to influence the ARTISTIC DIRECTION OF CLOTHING as best she can. She will happily use her MIND-CONTROL ABILITIES to force subjects to model for her for extended periods of time, as she sees it as nothing more than THE BETTERMENT OF AESTHETICS.

Kanaya's VISION THREEFOLD allows her to see both in front of her AND BEHIND HER, as all mothers naturally have eyes on the back of their heads. When she isn't busy with a THREAD AND NEEDLE, she enjoys hosting EXTRAVAGANT PARTIES, reading NOVELS OF THE GRIMDARK VARIETY, and has taken a passing interest in PAINTING. Unfortunately, she's terrible at the latter.

Kanaya's ORIGAMI Fetch Modus requires a blank captchalogue card to be FOLDED INTO a rough approximation of an item she wishes to retrieve.

Kanaya's lusus is classified as the SILKEN CAVERNGRUB; a colossal silkworm that BURROWS THROUGH THE GROUND to eat enough minerals to produce COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SILK for her charge. Kanaya has strictly trained her lusus to NEVER DIG UNDER HER OWN HVIE for the sake of not ruining her outside garden.

The Land of THORNS AND IVORY is a dreary place, lined with THICK HEDGE MAZES, POSH MANORS and LIFELIKE STATUES OF DEMENTED BEASTS. These statues have a funny habit of DISAPPEARING when left unattended. The land's denizen HERA appears to be TRAPPED beneath a thick brush of thorny roses, seemingly AWAITING RESCUE.

Kanaya's ancestor is known as LADY SERICULT, a rich socialite that strived to ENTERTAIN like nobody else. She was the BEST HOST THERE IS, period. Rumour has it that those she fancied were lured to her personal quarters, BOUND IN SOFT SILK like a spider-web, and kept as PERSONAL PLAYTHINGS, never to be seen again.

[sammy8d257]

A Thursday Afternoon - An AvA/M fic

Written by Sammy8D257

Part of the Watered Down Hot Chocolate: A Melted Marshmallows Side Story But can also be read on its own

Word Count: 755

CW: Parental Arguing

Summary: A Thursday afternoon in the Grove household during the Blackfire Attacks.

(I wrote half of this before AvA 11 came out, then the episode premiered and I went insane and finished it in 3 hours)

[Ao3 Ver.]

=o=

[... -ank you for listening to 96.8 The Point, your one-stop station for everything radio… ] 

Your family's portable radio sits on your kitchen counter. It's light blue in color and its long silver antenna is pointed towards an open window leading to the backyard. 

[... From music to news to weather, we provide it all for your listening pleasure. I'm your host, Turquoise Grandeur, here to talk about the latest Interweb news… ] 

You blink slowly, your eyes slightly burning from how long you've been staring at its dials. The radio is on today. You usually don't mind because the music the station plays is fun to listen to while you do your homework. But today… 

[...Our top story is the recent attacks that have been happening to various websites across the world wide web…]

You stare down at the worksheet in front of you. It's an equations page that your teacher assigned to your class. 

Only half the page is completed and the rest you stare at, your pencil taps lightly on the corner of the page.

[... Most notably, the Yahoo! home page as well as various forums have been targeted, leaving widespread panic and destruction in the aftermath…]

You don't want to do this but you have to. You get to go somewhere fun when it's done.

"-really, Blue? Purple has been looking forward to this all week! We promised we'd take them!"

You sigh. Your parents are in the other room but you can just barely hear them from your seat at the table. The radio isn't loud enough today.

"Orchid you can't be serious. Look at what's going on right now! Do you honestly believe going to a popular and crowded place is what we should be doing? I know you listen to the news just as much as I do!"

"Oh please, I'm not ignorant!"

[... Witnesses have coined the phrase "Blackfire Attacks" for these attacks, citing the heavy presence of fire and black smoke in each case…]

You scratch a doodle of a bird into the bottom right page corner. You wonder if birds sound different at an amusement park.

"With the way you're acting you could have fooled me!"

"Excuse me?! How dare you! I am not going to just stand here and be name-called just because I want to make sure our child can still enjoy life!"

[... The attackers have still yet to be identified but eyewitness testimonies cite glimpses of 2 hollow head stick figures, one black and one bright red, on scene…]

You add a tree for the bird to perch on. You wonder how many fries they steal.

"They can enjoy life when the possibility of all of our lives aren't being threatened!"

"You're unbelievable!"

"I don't even know why you're so mad at me! If anything, I should be mad that you're restricting our training hours!"

[... The motives behind these attacks have not been identified but the safety council advises folks to avoid popular sites ports for the time being… ]

Moments later and your dad storms into the kitchen. He's muttering something you can't make out under his breath. Your mom trails in after him. Her face is furrowed in displeasure, her mouth a hard line. 

You stare at them.

They don't notice you. 

[... If you have any information regarding the Blackfire attacks, please report it to your local-]

Your dad grabs the radio, moves it to the open window sill and exits out the backyard door.

Your mom sighs, turns, and startles when she meets your gaze.

"Little Sprout! Have you been here the whole time?"

You nod and look down at your worksheet.

Your mom says a word you're not allowed to say yet and walks up behind you. 

She gently places her arms around you in a hug.

"I'm sorry Purple, I don't think we'll be able to go to that 'Cool Math Games' amusement park this weekend. It's just… not safe at the moment. But I promise we'll all go together when it's better, alright?"

You feel

mad, hollow, sad, upset, frustrated, 

disappointed.

Your finger traces the bird you drew. Your mom is still waiting for an answer.

"Okay."

She squeezes you again and then backs away further into the kitchen.

Outside a light blue radio is playing, its music barely covering up the sounds of your dad training.

Inside the stove top exhaust fans turn on, your mom starts humming a tune.

Here at the table, you stare down at your equations sheet.

It's only halfway complete.

You'll finish it tomorrow.

[bl-bracket]

Build-a-BL: Off the Market

From Aof Noppharnach and Jojo Tichakorn, comes a new show.

Night (First Kanaphan) has been struggling financially for years now, having to pay off his late mother's debts. Until one day he hears about the opportunity of a lifetime. At the upcoming local night market, there is going to be a special exhibit, featuring many priceless artifacts for display. A new job opportunity puts Night right by the artifacts. If he can manage to just grab one of the items being displayed, selling it would give him more than money to pay off the remaining debt and set up a new and good life for himself. But stealing something with such tight security is not a task for one man.

Ace (Khaotung Thanawat) is a burnt out private eye who had long been disillusioned about what good he could do against all the corruption in the world. What's worse, his cases keep causing him to run into Mercy (Mix Sahaphap), a notorious jewel thief that gets in his way and under his skin. At first he wrote it off as an unlucky coincidence, but when Mercy kept showing up at all of his cases, even those that there was no real reason for Mercy to be involved, he had to concede that for some reason Mercy was pursuing him. Against his better judgment, Ace finds himself in bed with Mercy more than he'd care to admit.

When Ace hears about a night market hosting a series of valuable items for display, his private eye senses scream at him that there's something more to what's on display, which is how he meets Night. Inevitably Mercy also gets involved and soon the trio find themselves tangled together as they begin to unravel something far bigger and sinister than they imagine.

Meanwhile, Night's estranged step-sister Dawn (Milk Pansa) is a rookie detective. When she hears about suspicious activity surrounding a night market, she goes to investigate, but is surprised that none of her superiors seem to have any interest in the matter. Things get more complicated when she keeps hearing the name Viper (Bible Wichapas), a respected businessman that all her colleagues seem to respect, tied to what's happening at the night market. What's more, she recently met the mysterious Ruby (Silvy Pavida), who seems to know more than she lets on, but Dawn finds herself inexplicably drawn to her.

Things only escalate by the sudden involvement of Prince (Jeff Satur) a master thief and Mercy's long time rival. Except Prince doesn't seem to be at the night market to steal and his apparent connection with Viper causes more confusion.

Will Night, Ace, and Mercy be able to work together to accomplish their goals? Will the tangled web of corruption be revealed? What are they willing to sacrifice to create the future they want for themselves?

(Full list of details under cut. Also this is 100% a collaborative effort and is about as public domain as a concept for a fictional show can be. If there is anything you want to add or make, please do! Tag me too because I want to see lol)

Country of Origin: Thailand

Primary Genre: Heist

Secondary Genre: Detective

Primary Location: Night Market

Director: Aof Noppharnach (He's Coming to Me, Dark Blue Kiss, A Tale of Thousand Stars, Bad Buddy, Moonlight Chicken, Last Twilight)

Screenwriter: Jojo Tichakorn (3 Will Be Free, Only Friends)

Main Relationship: Throuple

Main Actor: First Kanaphan (The Shipper, Not Me, The Eclipse, Moonlight Chicken, Only Friends)

Love Interests: Khaotung Thanawat (2gether, A Tale of Thousand Stars, The Eclipse, Moonlight Chicken, Only Friends) and Mix Sahaphap (A Tale of a Thousand Stars, Cupid's Last Wish, Moonlight Chicken)

Heat Level: Maximum Heat (Love in the Air, Kinnporsche, Big Dragon)

Number of side couples: 1

Side Couple: Milk Pansa (Bad Buddy, Vice Versa, 23.5) & Silvy Pavida (The Warp Effect, Laws of Attraction)

Antagonists: Jeff Satur (Ingredients, Kinnporsche, Wuju Bakery) & Bible Wichapas (Kinnporsche)

Tropes: Enemies with Benefits & “I would burn the world for you” & Found Family & Anti-Establishment & Sponge Bath

Character Color Theme: Dark Blue (First Kanaphan), Purple (Khaotung Thanawat), Hot Pink (Mix Sahaphap)

Ending Type: Happy Ending

Show Title: Off the Market

Character names: First Kanaphan - Night, Khaotung Thanawat - Ace, Mix Sahaphap - Mercy, Milk Pansa - Dawn, Silvy Pavida - Ruby, Jeff Satur - Prince, Bible Wichapas - Viper