#Brain Uploading (trope)

[inspectorspacetimerevisited]

If the Kuttekahs can steal another’s appearance and wardrobe,

they could easily take that person’s memories, rendering any memory test moot.

[hobivore]

Quarter to three | BC

— Bang Chan x reader (f)

Night or day, no one comforts you like Chan does.

AU/Trope: childhood friends to lovers, smut (minors DNI)

Warnings: mention of nightmares (chan comforts reader after one), oral (f receiving)

WC: 1.1k

A/N: Based on the prompts: "What are you doing in my bed?" & "Put me out of my misery and open up these legs for me." This piece was originally uploaded to my old sideblog linoguistics, so you might've seen this on tumblr before.

© hobivore Reposts, translations and modifications are not allowed. All events and characters are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

— SKZ masterlist | Ask box

Chan wakes to the sound of rustling fabric and the feeling of someone climbing over his legs, stumbling, the comfortable cocoon of his sleeping bag suddenly more akin to a straitjacket.

He yelps and shoots upright, bumping heads with the person crawling on top of him, cramped inside the tiny tent. There’s a soft ouch in a familiar voice—it’s you, and he blinks in the darkness, barely making out your figure against the backdrop of grey nylon.

“What are you doing in my bed?” He rubs his forehead as his heart rate slows down again, feeling the sudden pain now the adrenaline is starting to wane. “Fuck, you scared me.”

“Sorry." You wriggle your body between him and his bags, wobbling on the edge of the sleeping mat, and he scoots over in the limited space. “Why is your tent so small?” 

He wants to tell you this is a one-person tent and there’s plenty of room for him alone, but there’s a quiver in your voice that makes him hold back. It sounds fragile, frayed around the edges, a sharp punch to the hollow of his breastbone. 

“Are you okay?”

You sniffle and he turns onto his side, freeing his arms from his sleeping bag. “Hey, come here,” he pulls you in for a hug, and you let him, curling up into his arms. “Bad dream again?”

He feels your response more than he hears it, a small nod into the crook of his neck. He holds you tight, rubbing soothing circles on your back, feeling the tension seep out of your body. 

The familiar scent of your vanilla shampoo overwhelms his senses as he presses his nose into your hair, fighting against the urge to kiss your forehead. The two of you are close, but not that close, even if every fibre of his being screams at him to hold onto you and never let go. To not make the same mistakes as he did last time. 

He’s lost count of the times you’ve climbed into his bed after one of your nightmares. But the last time is etched into his brain, even though it’s been years: both of you had been in middle school, and Chan had been too wrapped up in trying to navigate this strange new world of lanky limbs and body hair to realise how he should’ve treasured that night. 

But now you’re here, holding onto him like he’s your last liferaft, and he feels like a twelve year old again when you ask, “Can I stay?” 

“Of course,” he answers, tripping over the words, overeager. 

You shiver and he realises you must’ve come straight for his tent after you woke up—dressed in nothing but an old tee and shorts, bare legs and feet rubbing against each other in an attempt to keep warm. “Hold on,” he says, letting go of you and zipping his sleeping bag open, spreading it over the two of you like a blanket. “Better?”

“Thank you,” you murmur, voice already heavy with sleep. 

You turn around and he freezes when he feels your ass press against his front. There’s not enough room to scoot even farther back, and he doesn’t want to bother you, so he stays there and listens to the sound of your breathing. It’s even and calm and Chan wishes he could match the erratic beating of his heart to yours. 

But it’s impossible when your body feels so soft and warm, slotted snugly against his as if it was made for him. His thoughts stray to all the scenarios he’s pictured countless times before: of him kissing you, your legs wrapped around his hips, the slick drag of his cock as he fucks into you. 

He shouldn’t be thinking about this, not here, not now—in fact, he shouldn’t be thinking about you like this, ever, but even less so when you came to him looking for comfort.

And what do you get in return? His stupid, hardening dick pressed against your ass. 

You stir, moving closer—and Chan hears the hitch in your breath, the moment of realisation.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, pulling back, bracing himself for your reaction, a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. 

To his surprise, you don’t move away, turning around instead. “It’s okay,” you say, a hand coming up to his chest. “Can I?”

Chan’s heart pounds in his ears and he’s not sure what you’re asking permission for, but the answer has left his mouth before he can think twice: “Yes.” 

He flinches as your noses bump and realises your mouth is looking for his own in the darkness, lips tentative and soft. You’re pliant underneath his wandering hands, letting him pull you under him as he deepens the kiss. 

Leaning back, he kisses your breasts, your stomach, your thighs—trying to go slow as he slips your shorts off despite his burning need to crawl back up and bury himself into you. “Baby, please,” he groans, “put me out of this misery and open up these legs for me.” 

You chuckle, brushing a hand through his hair. “Want it this bad, huh?” you tease, but oblige in spite of it, putting your feet on his shoulders so he can press your knees against your chest. 

“Waited for so long,” Chan admits, face inches away from your pussy, eyes closing as he tries to calm his soaring nerves. 

“Why did you never tell me?”

“Didn’t want to fuck things up between us.” He can’t hold himself back any longer now, licking a broad stripe up your slit, surprised at the wetness gathering on his tongue. It’s tangy yet sweet and he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking, taking note of the way your back arches off the sleeping mat. 

“Ah—Channie,” you whimper, and he’s sure his name has never sounded better, “you couldn’t fuck things up even if you tried.” 

Still, it’s not enough—he needs to hear you say it, needs to know you want him as badly as he wants you. “Tell me,” he pleads between open-mouthed kisses pressed to your mount, looking up at you in the darkness, at the faint silhouette of your profile. 

The answer comes in the form of your hand fisting into his curls and the stream of words accompanying it as he dips his tongue past your entrance. “Fuck—Chan, please, need you—need more—” you moan, urging him on. 

“Patience is a virtue,” he chuckles, hot breath teasing your clit. “Want you to come on my face first.” 

And when you do, thighs shaking around his head, he lets you ride it out with soft brushes of his tongue before he comes up to kiss you.

“I’ve got you, baby. I won’t let you go this time.”

Thank you for reading! If you liked this story please reblog, leave a comment, tell a friend, send me a pigeon, launch a mars rover. Your encouragement fuels my inner writer cryptid 👾

[sunrizef1]

Coming Soon… (TBD)

☆ Glorious Thorn

☆ I couldn't utter my love when it counted • ah, but I'm singing like a bird ‘bout it now ☆

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Summary: 18 years. 18 years since your life was turned upside down. 18 years since your fiance betrayed you. 18 years of raising a child on your own. 18 years of caring for a child who's debut driving potential would rival that of even Verstappen. 18 years after Lewis Hamilton tore your life apart, you get a call that brings you right back to where it’d all started, 18 years ago.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Mother!Reader

Tags: Exes to Lovers | Secret Kid Trope | Forced Proximity | Rich Kid, Old Money Aesthetic | Best Friend!Seb | Jobless Reader | 0% Nepotism | Starboy!Son |

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“I could apologize a million times and I know I still wouldn't deserve this life with you”

“Ive spent 18 years mourning what we had. After that much time, its not that easy to bring something back to life.”

“I don't care how long it takes, I would spend the rest of days by your side, praying for forgiveness. Even into rebirth, id come back just to be by your side once again.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

☆ Index:

Meet the Characters

Prologue: Shrike to Your Sharp

Chapter 1: Made in Your Image

Chapter 2: The Burden of Atlas

Chapter 3: Gatsby Revels

Chapter 4: Every Animal Adapts

Chapter 5: A Bird in Flight

Chapter 6: All That Time Didn’t Kill It

Chapter 7: Il Usurpatore

Chapter 8: The Goat and The Snake

Chapter 9: Most of Life is Just Knowing

To be added…☆

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Authors Note: Ahhh! This story has been rumbling around in my brain for quite a while so I was really excited to post this. It might take a while to get chapters uploaded and it will not be very consistent but I really like this so well see where this goes ☆ Until I get consistent again and finish WHIV, this is more of an idea than a solid fic, pls remember. Im just getting this out there so I will, eventually, commit to it ☆

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

☆ Tags: @ironmaiden1313 @lottalove4evelyn @jaydaaasworld @xoscar03 @assholeinatrenchcoat @crowdthena @multifans-things @st4rgirl-ellie @judelina @jajouska @minzxt @spngi @seonghwaexile @quinquinquincy

[99thpercentile]

I get the feeling that I'm in the minority here, but I posit that GLaDOS actually is Caroline, and only "not the same person" in the sense that you'd look at your younger self and be like "that bitch ain't me." I think you actually have to go out of your way to interpret them as two separate people.

evidence:

voiced by the same person (I know the initial reasoning was that Valve didn't want to hire another voice actor for a few lines, but in casting Ellen McLain as Caroline, they incorporated her being the same person into the story).

GLaDOS automatically joins in saying "Yes sir, Mister Johnson" like saying it is permanently ingrained in her. you can interpret this as Caroline taking over, but she says "Why did I just—" immediately afterwards.

when GLaDOS talks about hearing the voice of a conscience, she says "for the first time it's MY voice." I don't think she means that she's hearing the woman she gets her literal voice from. she highlights it as distinctly DIFFERENT from hearing the voices of the cores, and I imagine if Caroline were a foreign entity whispering in her ear, the effect would've been much the same.

the GLaDOS project was originally started because Cave was dying and wanted his consciousness uploaded to a computer. the intent was always for the upload to be the same person. he said if he died first, he wanted Caroline to run the place, to be put in his computer. and that's exactly what happened.

GLaDOS not remembering she's Caroline until old Aperture always made sense to me as the result of a deliberate choice on the part of the scientists. Caroline didn't want to be uploaded, and as soon as they switched GLaDOS on, she tried to kill everyone. it's logical for the scientists to think that if they suppressed her memories, she'd have no reason to try to kill them (but instead, she was just filled with murderous rage and no longer knew why).

the story just doesn't have the same impact otherwise. GLaDOS's reactions to rediscovering old Aperture make more sense if it's her past she's rediscovering, rather than the past of...a human that was shoved into the chassis with her. if it were the second one, I think she would just feel violated, not have any major revelations.

counter-evidence:

"now little Caroline is in here too" lyric from Want You Gone

GLaDOS says she found out "where Caroline lives in [her] brain" and deleted her, like she's a separate entity

but GLaDOS is a habitual liar. she acts like deleting Caroline means she's fully back to her old self and has gotten rid of the part of her that made her want to save Chell's life, but there's...lots of evidence that she still cares about Chell after the fact (letting her go anyway, the companion cube, the turret opera if you think GLaDOS arranged that, talking to the co-op bots about Chell like she's an ex she's still heartbroken over...). I also think GLaDOS would like to imagine her and Caroline as two separate entities, in the same way you might find your younger self embarrassing and want to distance yourself from that person. I think it's notable that both instances where she refers to Caroline as a separate entity are at the end of the game, after Chell has been passed out a while and she's had time to process everything and compartmentalize. her instinct when the revelations are first happening is to refer to Caroline as if she is her.

now I don't like stories where a robot has to become or be seen as more human in some way for them to be sympathetic. but I think Portal 2 is an excellent subversion of this trope, because GLaDOS is a robot that learns she used to be human and then discards that humanity (symbolically if not literally). Caroline may not have wanted to be uploaded, but from the Want You Gone lyrics "one day they woke me up / so I could live forever / it's such a shame the same will never happen to you" I think we can say that GLaDOS definitely prefers being a robot now that she is one.

anyway this post was supposed to be much shorter than this, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[canonicallyplural]

Agents of SHIELD is canonically plural!

Major Agents of SHIELD spoilers ahead:

Leo Fitz is canonically plural

In the first season of Agents of SHIELD, Leo Fitz and his best friend Jemma Simmons are shown to be inseparable. At the end of the season, Fitz suffers a traumatic brain injury and Jemma leaves SHIELD between seasons.

With the real Jemma gone, Fitz begins hallucinating another version of her. For the whole first half of the season, the Hallucination Simmons helps Fitz work through his problems, and demonstrates a high degree of self-consciousness and independence indicative of personhood.

Of course, she doesn't see herself as real and is proud when Fitz admits she isn't. But that reaction is what makes her real. Perhaps not physically real, but as her own independent agent, capable of thinking and feeling things separate from the host.

In season 4, the team's consciousnesses are uploaded to a virtual reality called the Framework where they have new lives with new memories.

Most of the team, after coming back, experienced an instant integration of their lives. They felt like one person who had merely lived two different lives.

But Fitz is different. Fitz seems to have dissociated from his Framework self. This is revealed later in season 5 where he sees a version of his evil Framework self, called The Doctor. It's initially believed that The Doctor is a manifestation created by a portal to a nightmare dimension, but it's revealed to have been Fitz the whole time!

The Doctor he saw was merely a hallucination. And when The Doctor is fronting later, he's hallucinating the normal Fitz.

Fitz later admits to have been hearing The Doctor's voice for a while.

While this seems like an evil alter trope on the surface, I actually kind of like how it was handled. The Doctor does bad things, but it's shown that he's actually doing what he thinks is best to protect the world. He's taking steps that Fitz wouldn't. That Fitz would be too weak to. But if he didn't take those steps, innocent people would probably have died.

Ghost Rider is Canonically Plural

Season 4 of Agents of SHIELD introduces us to Robbie Reyes who is the Ghost Rider.

As a Ghost Rider, he has a Spirit of Vengeance in him. Not only does the Spirit of Vengeance take control, but it's suggested they also have internal communication even if the audience doesn't get to hear it. And the Spirit of Vengeance doesn't need to fully transform to front either.

There's one episode where the Spirit of Vengeance leaves Robbie and possesses someone else's body. The Spirit of Vengeance takes full control without fronting, and even has a conversation with Robbie in that form. (This is probably at least partially a result of budget constraints since the Ghost Rider mouth never opened. Having a conversation without transforming was probably cheaper. But whatever the reason, it's canon!)

Headcanon and Speculation: This isn't confirmed or really hinted at in the show itself, but Robbie was killing his uncle Eli Morrow while they were inside a quantum battery together that was being dragged straight to Hell. That specific situation would be perfect to justify having Eli Morrow fuse with Robbie... like he is in the comics. Because one big difference in Agents of SHIELD from the source material is that Robbie in the comics doesn't actually have a Spirit of Vengeance. He's instead possessed by Eli Morrow. (Who in the comics was a satanic serial killer.) Robbie later reappears in one episode with no sign of Eli Morrow. But it would be super easy to reveal that the circumstances surrounding what happened fused them, making Morrow part of Ghost Rider's system. We think this would have been revealed in the cancelled Ghost Rider Hulu series. But alas, they never went through with that!

Graviton is Canonically Plural

In the first season, we're introduced to Franklin Hall and Ian Quinn, two characters working with a rare material called Gravitonium. Hall is absorbed into the Gravitonium and isn't seen again.

Later, Absorbing Man touches the Gravitonium and starts hearing voices in his head as a result. It's then revealed that Ian Quinn was also swallowed by the Gravitonium and that both of their voices are still there.

Finally, a huge amount of the Gravitonium is pumped into General Glenn Talbot through a chamber intended to give the recipient super powers, turning him into the series' incarnation of Graviton.

Besides the natural gravity manipulation powers, Talbot's Graviton can use the Gravitonium to absorb other people. Everyone that he absorbs this way seems to become a new voice in his head.

[feligamifebruary]

Parisiens, Parisiennes, dragons and birds of all horizons,

Once again, Feligami February is just around the corner, and you may already be thinking of the wonderful creations you will bestow upon us throughout the month. It will be our pleasure to archive them on this blog, in case our timeline gets erased, and to answer your most burning questions below.

1. Tell me about the event!

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, Feligami February is a month-long fandom event dedicated to our favourite lovebirds. The principle is simple: to tickle your brains (and hearts!) with our prompts, so you are inspired to create the content you want to see on Tumblr on AO3.

When the time comes, simply upload your creation(s) to the #feligami february and #feligami february 2025 tags, and make sure to tag this blog: it will ensure we spot your work, as easily as Felix spotted the Peacock Miraculous under Gabriel’s tie.

2. What kinds of content/themes are welcome?

Any and all creative media are welcome: art, fics, AMVs, playlists, cosplays, moodboards, web weaves… as long as you do the creating yourself, and not through AI. The only thing we’ll be stealing this month is cursed jewellery.

While you are welcome to explore the themes of your choice, we reserve the right not to interact with smut and potentially triggering content based on our own comfort levels. Please make sure to tag your pieces appropriately to ensure the event remains fun and safe for everyone.

Poly ships are welcome, as long as they include Feligami of course!

3. I’m not sure I can cover all prompts/post on time. Can I still participate?

Of course! The entire point of this event is to have fun. Don’t overwork yourself.

4. I have an idea, but it doesn’t align with any of the prompts. Can I still post it?

Please do! The prompts are here for inspiration, not to suffocate you. Break your chains.

5. The creative process can be a bit lonely. Where can I meet other cool, motivated, brilliant Feligami creators like myself?

We have a Discord server, where you can hang out with fellow Feligami fans, share your ideas, and take a peek at the amazing content coming your way! Think of it as our own little window, on which we all draw hearts for each other.

If you’d like to join, please follow this link to the art room, where you will not be subjected to a creepy hallucination-based play.

Without further ado, we wish you all a lot of fun, inspiration, and bone-chilling musical numbers! 🎶

Full prompt list below! 🦚🐉

Week 1: Tropes 🪶

1. Once upon a time

2. Duel

3. Anti-hero

4. You & Me Against The World

5. Alternate Universe

6. Monster

7. Home

Week 2: Celebration 💎🌹

8. Diamonds

9. Flowers

10. First kiss

11. Reunion

12. Birthday

13. Family

14. Valentines

Week 3: Freedom 💍

15. FREE

16. Amok

17. Miraculous

18. Emotion

19. Pretension

20. Disobedience

21. Waltz

Week 4: Art 🎨

22. Watercolour

23. Stage fright

24. Representation

25. Journaling

26. Re-creation

27. A new world

28. Happy ending

[mustardinthemilkshake]

On Mickey 17, Severence, and the Substance:

Okay I just saw Mickey 17 and I need to talk my shit out-

I’m seeing a theme in horror/psychological thriller emerge in the past few years and I need to talk it out.

My three focuses are on Severence, the Substance, and Mickey 17. These are three critically acclaimed pieces, tied to horror, that have been popular in the past three years, at least in my circle. All three of them are tied to the idea of separating your self.

In Severence, there are “innies” and “outies” of the Lumon employees. People are ‘Severed’ by implanting a brain chip that separates their memories between their work and their home. The half of them that works, the ‘Innnies’ are essentially slaves, always working. The outside selves are motivated by their own nuanced situations that led them to split themselves in the first place. In Mark’s case, he is trying to escape the grief of losing his wife, Gemma. The outside self is lost in grief, and the inside self slaves away at a job that, by all appearances, is pointless. Both halves suffer.

In The Substance, Elizabeth takes “The Substance” to create Sue. They split their time by the week. Sue is the young, sexy, sellable version of Elizabeth. Elizabeth brought Sue into the world, but cannot stand that she lives the life she so desperately craves. Elizabeth suffers alone in the house while Sue lives a life of fame. Sue starts to abuse the substance, taking more than her allotted time. This causes Elizabeth to age faster and get sick. Sue’s body starts to fall apart. The more time that Sue takes, the less Elizabeth has. But Sue needs Elizabeth in order to survive. Sue cannot exist without Elizabeth.

This is similar to Severence. Outie Mark grieves Gemma with drinking, crying, and self-isolation. Innie Mark can feel the hangovers, his endless block of work is broken up by red eyes. When innie Mark gets hurt, outie Mark comes home with the wound. When Sue takes up too much time, Elizabeth gets older. Without Elizabeth’s spinal fluid, Sue cannot live on. They need each other to maintain the life that they have decided to share, but they cannot see past their own suffering in order to maintain the balance.

Mickey 17 was one of the most interesting iterations of the separation of self trope that I have seen. Mickey’s job is to die. He is an Expendable, so he suffers in order to help the people on the ship. He gives birth to vaccines, he does maintenance on the ship, and he is the lab rat in their experimental testing. After each death, he is reprinted and his memories are re-uploaded into his brain. He has saved many lives and helped many people, at the cost of his own life(s). When two iterations of him are printed at the same time, he sees for the first time that his life has value. Both versions of him want to carry on, to be reprinted, but neither of them want to sacrifice themselves. As Mickey puts it, “it’s no longer ME that would be reprinted, now it would be YOU,” which suggests that his personhood has become two. Both versions of “him” are their own people, fighting each other to survive. In many ways, he has a utilitarian outlook on his own life: He can’t justify killing himself so that another version of himself can live, but he regularly dies for the betterment of society. But Mickey doesn’t actually believe in his cause. He only has this job because of his financial means. He would rather not die at all. But what was he to do, with no money, gangs coming after him, and an abusive addict for a best friend?

In all three of the films, the economic situation has motivated the main character to separate themselves: Mickey has made some bad investments and the gang is on his tail; Elizabeth is fired because she is “too old” and “lacks sex appeal” that a life behind the camera requires; Mark cannot perform another job because he is too entrenched in his own grief. These people are letting themselves be taken advantage of because they don’t believe they have another option.

Similarly, in all three versions of self-separation, the separation of the self does not ease the suffering. Mickey 17 realizes that he doesn’t want to die after he is reprinted. He understands every iteration of himself is different after becoming jealous of Mickey 18. Mickey 18 is braver, smarter, and sexier. Mickey 17 is meek. Mickey 17 is also caring, and patient, but perpetually taken advantage of. They are both Mickey, but vastly different. Similarly, Mark Scout’s outie is sad and isolating. His innie is a leader, charismatic and self-assured. They are different sides of himself, but separated by this chasm of grief. In the Substance, Elizabeth is shameful and self-loathing, but Sue is confident. She is sexy, self-assured, and quietly powerful. As Sue abuses her position, Elizabeth starts to age faster. The very thing that took away her job quickly starts to take her life. She ages, she stays inside all the time, makes a mess of her own house, and she loathes the version of herself she created. Sue abuses her position, and in doing so takes away her life source and power. In all three pieces of media, the two versions of one person start to drastically diverge. It creates a person at war with themself. A literal “Man vs. Self” conflict, that shifts into “Man vs. Man,” but is born from a need for self-preservation. Born from trying to find a way to keep going.

The idea that we could free ourselves from suffering appeals to a lot of people. But these films highlight that in doing so, we are only running from our problems. Expediting them. The idea of severing oneself, or taking the substance, or being reprinted after death, is appealing. And that’s what makes these stories so real, so scary. We are in a world where we suffer because of our economy. We suffer because of grief, because of our age, because our economy prioritizes the rich and young and beautiful. Because billionaires seem to have unchecked power. Everyone can see the appeal in removing themselves from this.

But ourselves is all we got.

I’m excited to see where this trope goes. Especially because it has emerged in the horror genre. Horror tropes have always played off of the current social political scene. Fears that everyone can relate to. A favorite example of mine is “Men dealing with pregnancy” (Alien, Hereditary, Rosemary’s Baby, to name a few), which generally coincides with big moments in feminist history. Usually written by men, these stories deal with bodily autonomy and fearing something your body created. It connects to fears surrounding abortion rights, women’s rights, and traditional gender roles. Another great example is “Technology taking over” (The Ring, Videodrome, Terminator, M3gan, Ex Machina). These films tend to line up with technological advances in society. Televisions, robots, AI, etc. I wonder what a trope of self-separation reflects about us.

When you research a split personality, or split self trope, some examples include Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Fight Club, Avatar, or the Matrix. These are all great examples, but they are different from the examples I have chosen in this essay because they are not motivated by escapism. The common theme between these three is economic disadvantage, suffering, and large corporations leading them to a solution. Mark is severed by Lumon, to do work he doesn’t understand. His innie hopes that his outie put him into this position intentionally, but outie Mark doesn’t have any understanding of what innie Mark does. The Severence procedure performed by Lumon takes advantage of people in these emotionally or financially vulnerable situations. As does the Expendables program. Mickey is on the run from a gang. He has no money, and so to preserve his life he signs a contract with a failed-politician-and-billionaire corporation to become Expendable. Elizabeth is out of a job. Her career is ripped away from her because she is deemed unsellable and ugly. She seeks out the Substance because the life she knew is now unobtainable. All three characters are motivated by their own internal conflicts, but taken advantage of by these large companies.

How could one possibly relate to this in a contemporary United States? Well, can’t you feel it. Feel it in your tired feet. Feel it in your exhaustion when you check the news. Feel it when you see the president behind the podium: the fear, the anger? You already knew what I was talking about.

However, the “solution” of separating oneself only leads to greater conflict. If this trend is recently emerging, I think it is reflecting an attitude of fear and the “flight” response to our political and economic situation that a lot of people are experiencing.

But we cannot escape this. We have to stand up and fight for what we believe in. We have to face every side of ourselves in order to face the real enemy.

[separatist-apologist]

what are your thoughts on this booktok drama https://www.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/1i1i05p/your_thoughts_on_kallmekris_booktok_drama/ a lot of people were offended by the video (it was removed from this person's youtube channel, but internet is forever and someone uploaded the 37min video on tiktok). i get why people were upset, especially since this creator used clips of people without asking for permission and i think the OG title was T'hese Viral TikTok Smut Books Are Really Gross' which pissed off a lot of people. i just don't know if people are being overly sensitive or not to the content of the video.

yeah she makes fun of some of these popular booktok books, but people do that all the time. trash gets published so much in the guise of spicy romances so i'm not quite sure if people are conflating this creator talking shit about the books with her talking shit about them or maybe i missed something and she actually did talk shit about them. i know you have hatersbookclub (which i love, i find your commentary super funny) so i was wondering if you had a take on this drama since it's been blowing up all over tiktok and now reddit.

Okay I'm gonna be real and upfront- I'm not gonna watch the video because I don't want to be pushed anymore booktok content. However I do have general thoughts about the culture, which I am, once again, putting under the cut. blah blah blah read at your own discretion

Obligatory not all of booktok.

Without watching the video (so I lack context), one of the things I find wildly frustrating about booktok is the performative outrage. The CONSTANT performative outrage about EVERYTHING. Maybe the video was offensive but I'm betting it was a mild, but mostly fair, criticism of the culture over there and they are allergic to any nuance, and take even constructive criticism as a personal attack.

The anti-intellectualism floating around the space is deeply frustrating. "I just read for the vibes" "its a brain off read for me" "its not that deep" "let people like things" "no one ever says men are consuming too much porn" ""good" is subjective" alongside the weaponization of like, feminism and other progressive language to silence ANY critique is exhausting.

No one is saying you shouldn't be allowed to brain off read 700 books written in an hour that aren't edited and actively uphold the very patriarchal, white supremacist culture you swear you want to dismantle (only when it's time to cancel someone, though, and never when its time to do the uncomfortable internal work that forces you to ask why you only consume books in which women are referred to as "females" and are subservient to men in overtly domineering roles, though).

What people are often saying is that its frustrating the way these POORLY written (not subjective- thats an objective, measurable standard), copy cat books are peddled and often shielded from criticism under the guise of "feminism means you can never criticize anything women enjoy ever" or how if you're offering up book recs, a deluge of "Is there spice" floods the comments. Books are being marketed on fanfiction tropes rather than a PLOT, of which there very often is very little to none of.

I've seen people GENTLY try and discuss, like, the lack of media literacy and booktok is always there arguing why any reading is good reading, wholly ignoring that, often by their own admission, they ARENT reading (brain off reading means....what? You didn't absorb any of it? I don't even know what that means and I honestly don't want to), or that its good for your brain to actually pay attention to what you're reading and then THINK about it. Even your dark romance trash is saying SOMETHING.

Booktok is addicted to their own victimization.

[mingiatz]

Summary: What started as an accidental encounter turned into something neither of them saw coming. Emilia never expected that a chaotic night in Frankfurt—where she met Ateez in the most ridiculous outfit imaginable—would lead to months of stolen moments, teasing, heartbreak and feelings too big to ignore.

Pairing: [Idol] Song Mingi x OC (Emilia)

Trope: Strangers to Lovers

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Light Angst, Slow Burn

Featuring: ATEEZ (being menaces), chaotic sibling energy, found family vibes, and an embarrassing amount of mutual pining

This Series will have multiple Chapters with around 4000 words. I hope you like it. Please be kind this is my first Fanfiction and English is not my first language. (I am open for constructive criticism). I will try to upload a chapter everyday.

Masterlist

Previous Chapter| Next Chapter |

Chapter One

Emilia’s POV

I cranked up the volume on my Bluetooth speaker, letting the upbeat pop song pulse through the house. Cleaning was always more fun when music was involved, and today, I had really committed to the bit.

My fluffy pajama pants—decorated with ridiculous cartoon avocados—paired beautifully with my oversized sweatshirt that read "I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode." To complete my look, I had my hair up in a messy bun, a pink fluffy headband keeping the strands out of my face. And to top it of, a bright green face mask smothered across my skin.

Stunning.

Absolutely stunning.

"Noah, are you even helping?" I called out, twirling the broom like I was in some sort of high-stakes dance competition.

"I am helping," my younger brother responded flatly, walking out of the kitchen with a sponge in one hand.

Unlike me, he actually looked normal in his casual sweatpants and sweater. "You're the one turning this into a concert."

"Excuse me for bringing a little joy into our cleaning routine," I said, dramatically dipping the broom like a dance partner before spinning around.

"You're embarrassing," he deadpanned and tried to hide his small smile.

I gasped, placing a hand over my heart. "I am a delight."

Before Noah could roll his eyes again, the front door swung open.

I froze mid-move, one leg kicked up in a ridiculous pose, as my dear, sweet younger sister waltzed into the house like she owned the place.

"Guess who’s homeeee!" Sophie sang out.

I turned my head slowly, my brain needing an extra second to register the fact that she was not alone. In our entryway, standing like slightly bewildered deer caught in headlights, were eight men.

Eight very unfamiliar men.

My foot, which had been mid-air, slipped. The broom clattered onto the floor. I barely caught myself before I went sprawling.

But that was not the main issue here.

The main issue was that I was standing in my living room, dressed like a deranged muppet, with a green face mask and an avocado-themed pajama ensemble, in front of… well, I had no idea who they were.

Sophie, you little—

"Surprise!" Sophie beamed, completely ignoring my obvious horror.

"We had a hotel mishap, so I thought, ‘Hey! My wonderful older sister who adores me and always supports my choices would totally let my colleagues stay over!’"

The words left me in slow motion. "You—what?!"

Noah, who had been taking a sip of water, immediately choked.

"This is my twin brother Noah!" Sophie continued, gesturing dramatically like a game show host. "And this is my lovely, amazing, caring older sister—Emilia!"

I shot her a glare that could have burned a hole through steel.

"Sophie." She at least had the decency to look sheepish.

"I may have forgotten to mention this beforehand."

"Really?! " I said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "And who exactly are they?"

Sophie blinked. "You don't know?"

I folded my arms. "Should I?"

One of the guys—tall, broad shoulders, and looking entirely too amused—exchanged glances with his friends. "She really doesn’t know us."

"This is hilarious," another one chuckled.

Meanwhile, I became painfully aware of my ridiculous appearance. My avocado pajamas suddenly felt even more absurd. The green face mask drying uncomfortably on my skin must have made me look like a swamp creature. And to top it all off, my fluffy pink headband—meant to keep my hair out of my face—probably made me look like a deranged anime character.

I was mortified.

Sophie groaned. "You guys… this is Ateez! You know, the K-pop group I work for?"

I stared at her blankly. "Sophie. I don’t listen to K-pop."

Noah crossed his arms next to me. "Same."

Sophie looked genuinely offended. "You live under a rock. Also I work for them, show at least a little bit of interest."

"Maybe, but it’s a nice rock," I muttered. "And right now, I wish I could crawl under it."

A few of the guys exchanged amused glances. One of them snickered. "I like her."

"Would someone like to explain why a bunch of strangers are standing in my house while I look like this?" I asked, gesturing vaguely at myself. "Because I would have appreciated a warning before hosting an unexpected K-pop slumber party."

The tall one from earlier, hesitated before clearing his throat. "Our hotel had an issue, and we needed a place to stay. Sophie suggested here."

I groaned, rubbing my temples. "So you mean to tell me that my house is now a free Airbnb for eight complete strangers?"

"Not strangers!" Sophie insisted. "They're my colleagues. And super famous."

"That doesn't make this better!" I huffed, finally taking a deep breath to calm myself."Okay. Fine. Whatever. You can stay. But there are ground rules."

"Rules?" asked another tall one, intrigued.

"Yes Rules.

One: No waking me up before 9 AM.

Two: No weird food experiments in my kitchen.

Three: If you break something, you replace it.

Four: No converting Noah into a K-pop fan. He’s my last hope."

Noah gave me a firm nod of agreement.

A troublesome looking one grinned. "This is going to be fun."

I had a feeling I was going to regret this.

Mingi’s POV

When I first stepped into Emilia's house, I was hit with a sense of surprise that I didn’t expect. Sophie had told us her sister was a bit… different, but I didn’t know she meant this different. The green face mask on her skin, the giant avocado-patterned pajamas, and her very intense expression made me want to laugh, though I quickly realized this wasn’t exactly the right moment for that.

I glanced at my members, who were all in varying states of amusement. Some were snickering, while others—like Yunho and Seonghwa—were exchanging looks of confusion. And then there was Emilia, standing there with her hand on her hip, giving Sophie the kind of glare that could freeze you in your tracks.

It didn’t take long to realize that, despite the weirdness of the situation, her reactions were… kind of adorable.

As I settled into a seat on one of the couches, I tried not to focus too much on the fact that I was in someone’s house—someone who didn’t even know us. But then again, I supposed that’s what we got for showing up unannounced. No matter how famous we were, we had no right to impose like this.

The silence stretched on for a bit before I decided to break it.

"So," I started, my voice playful, "You really don’t know who we are?" I looked over at Emilia, who was still clearly processing everything.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Nope," she replied, deadpan. "Like I said I’m living under a very nice rock."

I chuckled, feeling a little lighter at her sass. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. And maybe—just maybe—there was something endearing about her not knowing who we were. It felt… normal. In a way, I appreciated that.

"You really don’t follow K-pop even though your sister works in the field?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope. Never have, and probably never will," she replied with a shrug.

I blinked, trying to imagine a life without K-pop. It seemed impossible, but here was Emilia, living a completely different life in Frankfurt. I had to admit, it was kind of refreshing. Not everyone was swept up in the craziness of our world.

"You must live under a very cozy rock," I joked.

Emilia rolled her eyes, but her lips quirked up just a little. "I do. It’s a nice place. Very peaceful."

Sophie giggled. "See, I told you she was hilarious."

The tension seemed to ease a little as everyone began to settle in. I was beginning to feel a little more at home, even if the situation was far from ideal. And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the night was going to be full of awkward moments, like… like Emilia still wearing that absurd outfit.

She was pacing around the living room, rubbing her temples while Noah leaned against the wall, occasionally glancing at us with a look that screamed, why are you here?

After a few moments, I heard the telltale sound of an awkward sigh escape from Emilia. I couldn’t help it. I had to ask.

"So, uh…" I gestured awkwardly toward her avocado-themed pants. "Are you planning to wear that the entire time we’re here?"

Emilia froze. She didn’t even look at me. Instead, her ears turned slightly red, and I could practically see the embarrassment radiating off her.

"You didn’t think I noticed?" she mumbled. "You guys must be having a field day with this."

I shrugged. "I wasn’t going to say anything, but now that you mention it…"

Emilia turned to face me, her eyes a little wider than usual. "I… I wasn’t exactly planning on meeting eight strangers dressed like I just rolled out of a cartoon episode."

I felt a small smile tug at the corners of my lips. She was so honest, and her awkwardness was something I couldn’t help but find charming.

"No worries," I said with a reassuring nod. "I’m sure it’s not the worst thing we’ve seen."

She seemed to soften at my words, though she still looked utterly mortified. "Yeah, well… guess I’ll go change."

As Emilia made her way to the stairs, I found myself wondering just how strange it was going to be staying in her house. She seemed tough on the outside, but there was a vulnerability about her I wasn’t sure if I could quite figure out yet.

And then, my attention shifted to my members. They were already making themselves comfortable, joking around and poking fun at each other like always. Yunho was in the kitchen inspecting the fridge while Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung were sitting on the couch, laughing at something.

I sighed, leaning back into the couch. The night was only beginning, and somehow, I had the feeling this was going to be an adventure I wouldn’t forget.

Emilias POV

I quickly retreated to my room, closing the door behind me with a deep sigh. I couldn’t believe what just happened.

A K-pop group.

In my house.

While I looked like a walking Emberassment.

I threw myself onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. How did Sophie manage to pull something like this off? I had no idea how to handle this situation. I was awkward enough with regular guests, but with strangers who were famous? This was a nightmare.

I sat up and peeled off the ridiculous face mask that was still clinging to my skin. As much as I was tempted to just go back to bed and pretend this never happened, I knew that wasn’t an option. I had to suck it up and deal with this.

After a quick wardrobe change into something a little less… meme worthy, I made my way back downstairs. As I descended the stairs, I heard snippets of laughter from the living room. I peeked around the corner, and there they were—my very unexpected guests, looking completely at home in my house.

And then, of course, there was this tall attractive one with the raspy voice.

He was leaning against the couch, laughing with one of them about something. His smile was so genuine, and I couldn't help but notice how… charming it was.

Damn it. This was not helping my nerves.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the living room, trying my best to act casual.

"Okay," I said, trying to sound confident. "I'm back. No more cartoon vibes. I’m presentable now."

The room fell silent for a second as everyone turned to look at me. Then, the attractive ones smile widened when he saw me.

“Much better,” he said with a wink, and I swear my heart skipped a beat.

I could feel my face heat up, and just as I opened my mouth to respond, Sophie burst in with a loud cheer, "It’s time to start the fun!"

Great.

Just Great.

Masterlist

Previous Chapter| Next Chapter |

Disclaimer:This is a work of fiction. The characters, events, and scenarios in this story are entirely fictional and not intended to reflect the real lives of the members of Ateez or any other individuals. This fanfiction is purely for entertainment purposes.

[elviraaxen]

ive really been loving the pacing of your story and i enjoy the concept and the bits that have been released about the plot! youre doing really well, and i admire it greatly!!

ive been having trouble figuring out an overall plot in my own work, i just have character ideas and the vaguest idea for a storyline. i try to just write but then i usually end up taking a break (re: dumping it) because i don't have anymore ideas for how to complete the plot. i've laso been curious about how you go about writing for a comic (do you write then do thumbnails? do thumbnails then go back to figure out dialogue? a third thing?) so i was wondering if you had any advice or resource tips for writing? both for comics and for overarching plots, if that's okay

if you don't have any ideas tho, no worries. i was just curious. good luck with Felt World! i love everything that's coming out so far, thank you for gifting us it!!

Oh thank you so much!! I can't say I'm a comic book artist at heart because I really don't have much experience, I was only an illustrator for a short while and never wrote anything myself, but learning from past mistakes (i.e. I don't stick to plans), I've so far done this and it seems to work:

I'm one of those that don't like to plan strict layouts for the entire thing, because chances are I will not stick to it, so what I've done for felt world is just write a sketch for the overarching plot, the b-plot and c-plot, with rough estimates in what order I want the major plot points and settings to be. My current sketch looks like this;

(which is done in Miro) and as you can see there aren't that many plot points, because I want to have the wiggle room to come up with something on the spot. And also, my comic focuses a lot on interpersonal relationships, character development, and themes rather than the plot, which means it needs to be concise or else the comic is gonna take 6 million years to finish.

And now,, I think this might just be how I work, but I think it's easier to be creative when you have strict restrictions rather than all the choices in the world.

for me, personally, I restrict an update of 10 pages tops, because instagram only allows max 10 images per post! This means I have to 1) fit all I want to say in 10 pages, 2) it has to be concise or else I infodump on readers, and 3) I have to answer some sort of question within the update, or else I said nothing and I start over.

As for scripts, I tend to write one or two sentences of what's going to happen for the update, and then I get to thumb-nailing and sketching right away! I come up with most of the dialogue on the spot too.

And also, I think what's most important, is that you take your damn time! If you aren't immersing yourself in your own world, how do you expect your readers to do the same?

I'm very much a believer that the stories you are telling are something that comes to you naturally if you just sit with it and listen rather than demand that it makes itself known to you. When I brainstorm for felt world I quite literally sit in my bed and go "omg!! And then what? :0" TO MYSELF LMAO as if I'm not making everything up myself! I think that's extremely important that your story is engaging to you first and foremost!

And as for more practical tips

carry a notebook with you or use your notes app AS SOON as you get ideas to write them down! No you will not remember, lol.

set rules of what you're not allowed to do with your story so that you don't fall into lazy trope territory! You can do that when you brain storm, but finesse the story post brainstorm to just make it.. smarter.. if that makes sens For example, don't kill your gay characters, don't make sensitive men the butt of the joke, don't make your women fight over men (unless it's the point), etc.

set physical restrictions! For example, max amount of pages per upload, max amount of pages for the whole story, max amount of characters, etc.! That literally forces you to problem solve, which by definition is creativity! Like, oh you can't do this the obvious way? Do it the creative way! That's way more fun!

I could probably go on, but this is too long already! But I hope it at least helped somewhat!

[edgebug]

YOU’RE ON TUMBLR?? HELLO

I know you haven’t uploaded poolverine to Ao3 in a hot second so I’m going to assume you’ve moved on. However. Your fics were some of the first ones I read after I watched the movie and I’m just a little insane about all of them. They were some of the first fanfics I was able to find where I didn’t cringe at poorly written fourth wall breaks or going ‘Logan wouldn’t say that…’ the entire time

Specifically Where Soul Meets Body specifically made me bawl because mind melding is my favorite trope ever ( < yours truly, a stanley parable liker ). It’s a very niche trope so you don’t see many people write it but CHRIST you captured the intimacy of sharing a mind and body so well. Writing how characters navigate mind melding is so fun to read and you did it perfectly. I am also weak at the knees for (The Time To Watch the Best Best Is When It’s) Purring at Your Side and Electrochemistry, but really I’ve read all of your works on them and can confidently say every one of them is top S-Tier. Would recommend if someone asked for fic recs

I won’t ramble on too long but I’m 99% you changed by brain chemistry so thank you HEHA

Holy shit thank you so much AHDJDJFJJG

i have most certainly NOT moved on and i fact i am. 22k words thru a new fic that I should be posting hopefully in the next few days !!

Thank you so so much this message made me so fuckin happy

[sircarebearalot]

I love fics that are written like books. I love their scenery and character profiles and arcs. I love their neat chapters and sharp tags. I love the date that stretches way back into the old ages. I love the high bookmark count and its complete set. I love the serious title. I love the mastery and research done. I love how people have saved them to their own lists. I love how people talk to each other in the comments, speculating, angsting, being hopeful. I love the flawless punctuation and I love that one line that still twirls in the back of my brain. I love their effort and drive.

I also love the fics that are written like fics. I love the patchwork of professional to an authentic slightly more sloppy style. I love the slightly rambling tags. I love the long authors notes. I love the song recs sprinkled there. Hell, I love the song recs prefacing the whole thing. I love the way the authors style changes the more they write, the more they explore that character. I love the way they respond to comments, excited and pleased. I love the way the commetors comment, gentle and encouraging. I love how they have the rawest most beautiful lines that are sometimes quickly followed by an awkward transition or confusing sentence. I love the fic that are fics because the author is grabbing every trope that sparks joy and is throwing it in the pot. I love the self-indulgent fics. I love the fics that maybe take themselves too seriously. I love the fics that are uploaded at 2AM and the fics that are uploaded at 3PM. I love the fics that have Taylor swift lyrics as titles. I love the fics that plead with you to read it below the summary. I love the fics that have amateur (I mean amateur as in not professional, as in made for joy and love— I say it like a compliment bc it is ) art. I love the fic that is shared between ten friends. I love the fic that feels like it will never end. I love the fics that ended too soon. I love the fics with sloppy arcs— I love the fics that go back and edit what has bothered them from before. I love the fics that look like fics. I love their creativity and passion.

I love the fics.

[jeejyboard]

canst thou tell us about your use of bodysharing / linked bodies in you just aint receiving ? what gave you the idea for it, what did you want to explore with that trope, what other bodysharing stuff were you bouncing off of? was it just to destabilize harrow with unexpected 'gasms and force her & gid back together or was it deeper than that (or both tehehehehe) ok, signed, your biggest fan, [my name] ^_^

wahooho!!! i sure can!!

I loooove any kind of examination of mind/body splits in fiction, and tlt is full of that… soul/body/thalergy stuff… i like it when thoughts/feelings are distinguished, too, but i think its a lil too common in the west that people make them like… two halves of a container. white meat, dark meat. we love a binary. but i like to think of them more like a horse and its rider where both are distinct but pretty meaningless once you separate them from each other. If the horse (or the id, or the unconscious, or the shadow, or the pink diamond or Wario w/e) is overrepresented, it can overreact to a menacing candywrapper and take tearing off without listening to reason or direction, oops. but if the rider (or the superego, or the executive self, or white diamond or ‘surface pearl’) is too powerful it creates repression or delays in protecting the self or could stall the ride altogether. 

I love seeing that tension play around within a character!! You can have very striking responses on either end of the spectrum, which i think is a good fit for gh. That kinda duck season/wabbit season seesaw tends to be fave whenever I see it come up in media (pink/white diamond [and pink and rose honestly] conflicts in SU come to mind, or helly’s innie/outie fight in severance, cannibal girl in raw 2016, possession/haunting stories, etc). 

A recent add is an anime called Kaiba (where i got my discord icon) where all your memories can be downloaded as this gloopy yellow stuff and then ‘uploaded’ into a new, blank body whenever you want (if you’re rich)! So essentially you can live forever!! Right?? Maybe? I guess that’s the case if we really just boil down to recorded information and ideas, but do those things behave differently in a different body? When you think back on a previous self, does the body you’re currently in impact how you access and feel about those memories? Does it affect which parts you remember? (and oooooh buddy the gender stuff you can get cooking in there) Maybe your old body would be an entire ‘ghost limb.’ Brrrrr! What if your body remembers something that your brain doesn’t, or at least believes that it does? 👻

Ok now mix that with ‘you got your chocolate in my peanut butter/peanut butter in my chocolate’ with a bitch you hate but grew up with like a bad skin graft!! yeehaw!!

I also like porous/bodyswappy things for gh in particular because it feels fitting for their whole… mess. Like they know WAY too much about each other superficially (the extreme detail that they both read each others' body language/habits with in Gtn comes to mind), but at the same time they have no emotional understanding of each other at all. It’s so out of whack. Imbalanced but impossible to ignore. Just enough information to know 'ow fuck you, did you really stub the SAME toe in five minutes? Wtf are you even doing?' They know what the other one is feeling, but clueless about what she’s thinking. All she does is muddy the water, but you can’t just shuck her off. You can’t section her off in your psyche and amputate. She is indelibly cootied up in your shit and under your skin like permanent ringworm. fuck!!!!! 

And then with your mysterious, unhealthy, miles-spanning codependent connection with another girl that you can’t fully acknowledge or explain, say things start shifting around… like suddenly your chronic condition begins impacting her when it didn’t before, or her sensory needs become very particular (just like yours), or suddenly it seems like you’ve swapped libidos, or your body has such an easier time falling asleep (and has been deprived of sleep for so long) that it happens when you don’t intend to… that would be crazy

thank youuuuu that was fun!

[definitelynotshouting]

Ask game #25?

mcytblr writer ask game

25.) What works and/or authors in the fandom do you recommend?

OH MAN..... GODS OKAY well this is about to become me gushing about my friends, but i think everyone and their mother should be reading @raichett, @droidofmay, @good-chimes, @sillyfairygarden, @sisyphean-writes, @renardroi's writing. Like holy shit i know some incredible authors. Grim in particular went and fully changed my brain chemistry with his fic Total Apogee of the Heart, which i do believe i described to him as "like reading an oil painting," and "like you've taken an axe to my chest and deftly split it down the middle to show me the inner workings of my heart," which is truly the palest of terms i can use to describe something that ended up feeling so soul-shocking to me /pos. The skillful way he twists words to layer these rich, saturated themes into his stories makes me INSAAAAAAANE, its pretty much the epitome of how i want to write when it comes to thematic elements and imbuing my narratives with symbolism. I genuinely dont know how to describe it, but the way he crafts sentences and weaves in references to other media is like reading a fairytale, and it leaves me feeling like ive just resurfaced from a dream every time.

And, ofc, my very good and dear friend Raichett with their ACP-verse-- oh my gods what an incredible read. Reincarnation fic with modern minecraft worldbuilding FUCKING SIGN ME UP..... i think this might be my favorite fic in the fandom because truly you can just feel the heart-wrench of how long Grian has been waiting, of all those words left unsaid during his and Scar's initial conversation that we the reader happen to be privy to. AND THE SEQUEL!!! THEE SEQUELLLLL THE ONGOING SEQUEL RAAAAAAAHH okay im normal im normal im normal <- lying. It just manages to hit every fucking trope i love all at once so i start frothing at the mouth whenever it gets updated or they send me snippets. I could read Raichett's writing for hours and hours and just feel so warm within it, truly beautiful prose and characterization :]

And ohhhh Sisyphean my beloved..... if you havent been reading their anonymous scarian fic series then please please do so, especially Bread and Butterflies, a fic they gifted me that made me simultaneously want to cry and also curl up into for the rest of my life. Something about the atmosphere in their fics, along with the juxtaposition of their unique form of humor, really just knocks it out of the park for me. And, of course, the gut-wrenching wing scene-- trust me, you need to read this fic. The reveal is so incredibly well done that it feels like a gauze being lifted from your eyes so you can finally see more than the lurking silhouette of what's been hinted at. Beautiful fic and evocative writing, i dont feel like i can do it justice you're just gonna have to go read it for yourself >:]

Sorry i told you this was gonna be me gushing so i am going to gush can we talk about Droid's fucking fics please. Can we talk about those. I've always been captivated by their writing, worldbuilding, and the way they so deftly weave implications into their prose to present a fic that feels so neatly-woven it practically breathes. Every work i've ever read from them, regardless of fandom, is some of the most engaging writing ive ever read before. Not to promo a fic inspired by hunger au, but im especially enamoured with their gift will the curse be reversed if you say it backwards. Reading that was like getting kicked in the chest a billion times until it ached, and the way they portrayed the two Grian's dynamics brought me perilously close to tears multiple times while reading, which is admittedly very hard to do. Also i think reading that fic is the closest ive ever gotten to what yall experience whenever i upload a new hunger au chapter-- i stg the dread i felt as the fic progressed had me HOLLERING in their dms like "IS THIS WHAT THATS LIKE. OH MY GODS" truly just a phenomenal fic all around

Thello, oh Thello, my beloved friend, her fic you are here to risk your heart had ME heartbroken in the best of ways when i first read it, and every reread since has only solidified it as a stunning cross-section into 3L!scarian's dynamic. Thello's writing in general is always so deeply elegant and refined-- reading it feels a lot like shoving the world's richest, gooiest, most delicately-layered cake into my mouth to melt on my tongue. She just gets intimacy in a way i rarely see done, highlighting the fragile way people can come together while straining to stay apart. Her writing is so deeply, utterly human in the details she chooses to focus on, and that level of groundedness paired with her fantastical prose makes me feel like what im reading is both very real and also the whisps of a beautiful, colourful dream.

And, last but very much not least, my wonderful friend Telk. Telk's writing is so utterly unique, bursting at the seams with both humor and a quiet rawness that punches me right in the ribs every single fucking time. They're also so deeply, insanely skilled at being able to say so so much in a story while dancing around the actual core of it, drawing you into understanding whats really going on below the surface like an event horizon. Their fic A Certain Je Ne Sais What is, in my mind, a particularly good example of the subtle and skillful way they weave implications into their work-- im perpetually in awe of how meticulously they poured Grian's cognitive dissonance between how he really feels about Scar, and how he wants to feel about Scar, into the narrative. That, and their characterization is genuinely flawless, im not sure ive ever read better character voices that capture the inherent humor of their owners than in Telk's writing.

Gods i have so much more to say about so many more of my friends and their fics but i'll stop here otherwise i will never shut up. Local guy loves his friends so fucking much i will shout it to the sky any chance i can take<3

And as a bonus, here's the hermit/trafficshipping collection i run on ao3, affectionately nicknamed The Body Count!! Its chock-full of incredible authors and writing, all of whom are my close friends, and its recently expanded to contain 60+ fics!! 60+!!!! INSANE. MY FRIENDS ARE INSANE AND I LOVE THEM PLEASE GO READ AND COMMENT ON THEIR WORKS BC THEY DESERVE THE ATTENTION :] THANKS FOR THE ASK AAAAAAAAAA OKAY BYE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[evilasiangenius]

For the Ask meme...

6. What’s one fact about the universe of the Sleeping Crowley fic that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

OMG @thelaithlyworm, thank you so much for your patience in waiting for a response. I have had A YEAR and probably MORE THAN A YEAR if I'm to be honest and it feels like just now my brain is clearing up and I'm feeling healthier. I just uploaded a chapter of something that should also help answer #6.

What’s one fact about the universe of the Sleeping Crowley fic that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

The wattle-daub shelter in Chapter 1 is a shelter from Crowley's memories, and a painful memory at that. Unconsciously, he's built for himself a replica of the shelter that he lived in briefly with his Nephilim children, back in very ancient times. I wrote about it in the Alexander Romance story, and have finally sat down to properly break it out into its own short story that you can read if you like: A Daughter of Eve. Warnings though, this story is SAD.

I think in Sleeping Crowley, something about the forest, the pain and isolation and betrayal that Crowley feels, has prompted him to put himself in this sad little shelter from his memories. This particular shelter gets destroyed entirely and unintentionally by Aziraphale saving Crowley, but the other one, the real one from Crowley's past, still exists out there somewhere with a fire miraculously burning with no smoke. I like to think that Aziraphale helps overwrite/put behind some of the trauma, by that motion of collapsing/destroying the shelter behind him as he flies away.

What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

Besides the history and the worldbuilding details? Contrasting emotions, contrasting characters. A funky mix of emotionally moving with occasional dashes of comedy. I like to try for stories that have all sorts of different emotions involved.

Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I'm kind of not super fond of Childhood Friends, notably the kind where the kids are extremely young when they meet (single digit ages) and fall in love forever. There's quite a bit of research I read a long time ago about marriage customs in imperial China that suggest that this is very much not a thing. IIRC it's because prior to a certain age, if children are raised together, they don't become sexually compatible in the future as adults because they think of each other more like siblings. I find that I'm less squicked by Childhood Friends if they meet later as adolescents (like high schoolers).

As an extension of Childhood Friends, I'm also not fond of the trope where the one person our protagonist meets first/sleeps with first/falls in love with first turns out to be The Only Possible One True Love to the Exclusion of Anyone Else. I find myself especially uneasy about this trope given the statistics regarding nonconsensual first times in women. Not that fiction needs to be like real life, but as a trope, this sort of first time as the first and only true love often intersects with lack of consent too. Not that that sort of romance can't exist at all, but one wonders, is there a moment years later when a protagonist wakes up and realizes, wait, this relationship is founded upon trauma…

However, I have been playing with the Childhood Friends trope in my current story Fell, possibly because in part that protagonist wakes up someday in the future to recognize the failings of that first love. So maybe it's grown on me but in a way that is not necessarily the way it was originally designed?

[pastafossa]

How do you get past writer's block? I have a fic that I'm working on that is updating on a schedule, and I made the mistake of giving myself a month off in between parts and now I can't really get back into writing it. I don't want to leave it abandoned because I have a few people who I know are really invested and I don't want to leave them hanging, but I'm having a hard time getting as excited to write it as I did before.

Ok so I'm in a weird place for this, hilariously. Because The Answer That Usually Works For Me (TM) and that carried me through a regular weekly update schedule for almost two and a half years is, in fact, not at present working for me apparently my brain can write through a pandemic but not through recovery from the shit that went down in December/Jan so we found my writing kryptonite. However, I'm going to assume you're closer to 2021 Pasta than 2024 Pasta. SO LET'S GO WITH THE METHOD I NORMALLY USE SINCE IT WAS SUCCESSFUL FOR YEARS. Cause that's the thing: sure, I've written almost a million words, and pumped out chapters for years (ignoring the past few months) but I promise, I hit the same walls as everyone else even when nailing weekly uploads. But over those years, I came up with a fairly solid list of steps that I'd go through one by one.

Fun one first: when I'm in a block, I almost always try re-engaging with canon first. I'd rewatch my favorite episodes, binge a whole season, or even the whole series depending on how much of a boost I needed. For me at least that was often like Pavlov's bell, my favorite story triggering a flood of affection. I'd remember why I loved this fandom and the characters so much, and it could often kickstart my brain and excitement back into gear. If you really want to dangle a carrot and your fic touches on canon, focus on watching parts you're excited to get to in your story. A big one for me in TRT for example was the post-Nobu, Nelson v. Murdock episode, since I'd had that planned for TRT almost since the start, and I was very excited to reach the hurt/comfort I had planned. Even if your fic isn't following canon though, see if it'll give you a creative rush again!

So let's say step 1 doesn't work, either because the canon just isn't hitting the spot or because your fic is dealing with something else. In this case, my next step was usually to jump ahead to write a scene I was really eager to get to. It was often a short blurb, but it was always something I REALLY wanted to explore, and because I'm also a reader who likes exactly the tropes and plots I'm writing, I want to read what fucking happens. Except, fuck, I'm not there yet, am I? And I can't see how that scene finishes until I write my way up to it and finish it. This is my own carrot. Multiple scenes in TRT were written months or even years in advance, simply as a way to bribe myself. This is also an option!

But maybe this doesn't work. Sometimes it didn't. This is when it got a bit more serious. For anyone who was reading at the time, you'd have noticed that I'd sometimes drop side fics, either Matt POVs or one-shots. This was me, in essence, working on the shower principle (basically, ideas/solutions will come if you stop thinking about it and do something else, like take a shower). I figured if I went and wrote something else - either with less stress, or something fun and dopamine-inducing - the part of my brain focused on my Big Fic would wander around the writer's block beneath my notice. And it almost always worked, all while I still kept my brain trained that, hey, even if we're not writing This Thing, we're still writing.

But let's say this doesn't work either. You're well, and truly, stuck. Been there now and then. And, you're going to hate this one. I hate it but it works 9 times of 10. And it is: Write anyway. Half of it was spite. I was not going to give up my schedule, I liked my schedule. The other half was that I knew myself. I knew if I could just get past the chapter/plot/dialogue I was struggling with, I'd be able to roll along again. And so I made a rule: whatever I wrote didn't have to be pretty. It just had to exist. If that meant I wrote, "Jane chased the cat in circles and caught it. She was happy." then that's what I wrote. Because everything, EVERYTHING, can be fixed in editing. But you can't fix what doesn't exist. And so there were those nights when I would scowl and groan and snarl and bash my head against that writer's block until 5 in the morning, but in the end Jane chased that fucking cat adn caught it, it was written. Hilariously, sometimes those chapters have wound up amazing (likely because I spent so much time hammering at them) and reader favorites. There are absolutely, I believe, moments where you can, and should, see if you can push through.

But that brings me to *waves* now. A lesson I've only recently recently and with encouragement. Namely... sometimes brain no go and that's ok. My steps work for me 99.9% of the time, but I've done the above during the past few months, and it just... hasn't dragged me out entirely out of it yet. Sometimes, our brains demand that break, especially when things just aren't going great. There's a reason TRT had a break of roughly 2 years between chapter 4 and chapter 5 (feel free to check the chapter index with dates on AO3!). I had some life things happening and I just was not in a place to write, even if I was still busily plotting and planning and thinking about TRT behind the scenes. And that was ok. We're not machines. I came back like a bulldozer in Jan 2021, yes, and bulldozed through weekly updates, but that break was needed. And now I'm obviously taking a short one again while I recover from everything. It's ok if you're not in a place for it. So the last step is one I've been told a lot by dear friends recently as they helped me through this: be kind to yourself, and try not to stress if none of the above works. The story will always be there, and if TRT is any indication through all its highs and lows, your readers will be there when you start up again.