#But I feel particularly bad about it this time.

[wandasfifthwife]

ྐ𖥨᩠ׄ݁ our little secret

emily engstler x fem/afab!cheerleader reader

you and emily sleep slept together. nobody knows but the two of you, and you want to keep it that way

tw: smut, bottom!reader // top!Emily, r’s cheer outfit is a bit revealing (booty shorts), exhibition (locker room), fingering & oral (r receiving), slight exhibition kink, overused American movie cheer antics (gossip, revenge), r is described to have smaller hands than Emily & have a shy (horny) personality, groping, Emily calls reader baby & pretty, not proofread

1.6k words • masterlist

Gossip took up about eighty percent of the conversations you had. Whether it be with your friends or teammates, there was always something—someone—to talk about. If these discussions had a newspaper, your teammates recent hookup with her ex would be front page. The conversations spread and the topics discussed scared you, they weren’t kind—they were anything but. It was a lesson to learn, that people who gossip with you, will gossip about you—so you kept quiet as to not give others something to talk about.

But being quiet is one thing, being suspicious is another. You didn’t want others to take note on how long you would obviously stare at one of the basketball players. People are stubborn. If they catch the slightest hint of drama, their entire attention is focused on it and they’ll do anything to draw it out of you.

Your recent drama—the one you’ve been trying to keep a secret from said people—was that you slept with Emily Engstler.

For whatever reason you met her at one of the parties thrown off campus, apparently her teammate was the one who had thrown it. You had hit it off well, and soon enough you found yourself backed against a wall of a stranger’s bedroom. Some of the night is blurred—the one drink you had and your alcohol tolerance is to blame—but you know you slept together. Flashes of her naked body on yours and the soreness between your thighs hinted at it.

You told her you were a cheerleader, you never told her where.

The thought of seeing her again at tonight’s game brought a flurry of reactions from you. Your mind was filled with nervous thoughts but at the same time your body yearned for her, craving for her touch every time you remember the way she made you feel that night. Nobody knew how down bad you were except yourself, but even then you denied it.

“I cannot fucking stand Trinity,” your teammate, one you’re particularly close to, starts, “she’s been trying everything to get on my nerves.”

“What’s she done?”

“Oh you know.”

You had an idea, but you didn’t care to learn more—eyes gravitating behind her and towards another. Your heart dropping when you find her attention on you.

The change in your expression was too obvious and your teammate caught on. She crosses her arms, looking behind her to find what’s been catching your eye. You freak out, hand resting on the shoulder that’s turning towards Emily.

“Trinity’s coming,” you lie, holding her still.

She furrows her eyebrows, looking at you for a minute, “you’re nervous.”

Her statement stills your heart, making it heart to breathe as you wonder how she’s read you so well, “what?”

“So Trinity’s gotten to you too, I swear that bitch is everywhere.”

You’re thankful she’s dumb. She explains happened earlier in the locker room, how Trinity is copying her—apparently. You really try to seem interested in her story, but it’s no use when Emily’s called onto the court. Maybe when she “saw you” earlier, she was just looking at someone in your corner of the court—but double glance just now disproves that concern.

“—I suck ass at math you know, and Trinity knows too. So she went on this whole tangent on me and totally was out to try and embarrass me.”

“That’s so rude.”

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I have a snapchat of her sucking off some guy from our competitive school.”

“How’d you even get that,” you ask, leaning down to set your pompoms on the floor, “someone send it to you?”

“The guy did. Did it in return for my nudes. Could I send it to you later? You have her contact, just send it to her.”

“Then she���ll know it was from me, I dont need her hating me.”

“I thought she already was? Whatever. I just want to ruin that bitch’s life, she’s annoying. Anyways, why’s that player looking over here,” she points. By following the angle it lands on Emily, surprise.

She smiles, “wait, let’s make a deal. You talk to her after the game and get her number, and I wont make you send that video to Trinity.”

You agree, just wishing to move on knowing she often forgets the bets she makes.

“I won’t forget this one. You gotta hold your end of the deal. It’s really not hard, she already seems interested.”

“I don’t know her at all, where would I even get the time to ask her for her number?”

She shrugs, “fuck if I know. Maybe just go into the locker room.”

It was messy, but it was definitively better than sending that video to your teammate. You tried to occupy yourself until Emily walked out from the locker room. Your hands shook as you put your phone in your jacket, breathing heavy.

“Emily,” you sigh, feeling more breathless when she notices you, “how are you?”

She looks a little taken aback, “I’m fine, what’s up?”

“Can I have your number?”

A smile appears, relaxing you, “yeah.”

She digs in her bag for a minute, the two of you standing in silence as she does so.

“I think I left it in the locker room, hold on.”

“Oh no worries,” you mumble, following behind her and towards her locker number.

“I’m glad you asked, I could’ve gone home without it.”

She shuts the door, handing you her phone right after. You push down the heated feeling arising seeing how her hand encompass her phone compared to yours. Again silence arises as you type your number in her phone, going ahead to type a text to yours with her name.

“Can I kiss you?”

Whatever you were texting turns into nonsense as your mind melts. You type more than her name, spamming letters into the text bar to keep busy. She’s waiting, you can feel her attention on you—almost see how she’s looking at you.

“There,” you hand her phone back, growing shy, “thanks.”

She hums, taking it back. The silence comes back for the third time and you’re growing tired of it. She turns around to leave when you reach to grab her jersey, pulling her so you can connect your lips to hers.

It’s short lived, but it gives her enough confirmation to deepen it. She pushes back, dropping her stuff to hold your face gently—angling it to the side. Her kisses leave you breathless, even more than before—chest heaving in air every time she pulls back because you know she’ll come back for more. Your lips drop open in a gasp when hers press against your neck and she curses at the sound you make.

“Fuck,” her body moves yours against her locker, back hitting the cold metal, “you’re hot.”

She tears you down one notch at a time, bringing you back to how you felt that night. Mind blanking as she makes you think about each detail until you’ve been driven insane. Her hot breath on your neck, her body pressed against your front, neck making your body shiver from its touch.

Her hands slide down your back, pressing into your ass, “can I have you, baby? Please, I need you.”

“Please, yes.”

Her lips are back on yours, biting them as she slips a hand to drag your booty shorts down. She’s watching each reaction you have to her touch, especially when her fingers touch you for the first time in a while.

Each moan, gasp, whine, plea causes her to grow more wet—thighs squeezing together at the sound and sight of you.

She spreads you open, moving one of your legs around her waist. Your underwear is soaked, wet to the touch when she slides two fingers up your cunt—smiling when you shiver once they’ve reached your clit.

“Can I?”

You nod, feeling grateful that you did because after she cools the burning need for her after. Sliding your underwear to the side she pushed one in, her eyes glossing over all because of you. All because of how good it feels to see you writhe from the pleasure she brings you.

“Feel good?”

You whine, throwing your head back when she angles her fingers. There’s an attempt made to muffle your sounds realizing that the game had only just ended and there could be a janitor or another player just outside the locker room.

Adding a second finger stretches you wider, infinitely more than your own fingers. You gasp, pulling at her hair, “fuck, Em!”

She laughs, the sound airy and low. Her fingers accumulate your wetness onto them, dripping onto the concrete floor each time she pulls them out. Your body is so reactive, betraying you and showing how greedy you are for her—sucking her back in even though she’s only half an inch out.

She noses by your ear, whispering, “can I eat you out?”

You nod a hundred times, “please—oh my—please!”

The added feeling of tongue alongside the two of her fingers stretching you out felt like heaven. Embarrassingly so as you felt your orgasm creep up already upon feeling her grind her fingers up into you, tongue splayed out over your clit.

“Em, em-please don’t stop! Please, please.”

“I’m not, baby—im not. I’ll take care of you. Spread your legs wider, thank you.”

The pressure of another finger brings you back down for a second, fearful about the stretch. With how wet you are, the digit slides through easily. You let out a choked cry, grinding on them and getting dizzy on the feeling.

“How’d I luck out with such a pretty cheerleader,” she asks her self, tone teasing and playful as she smiles at you. She grinds them up, circling the three up onto your spot while her tongue presses deeper under your clit before licking upwards.

“Oh—!”

Three more times is all it took for you to come, spilling over her fingers and dripping your cum onto the floor.

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[tanadrin]

On the one hand, I think there should be more empathy for the frustration people feel in politics, especially when stuck between two viscerally bad choices. It is churlish in the moment, when people are expressing anguish about what's happening in Gaza, to scold them and say "Well! Trump would be worse! So shut the fuck up and Vote Blue No Matter Who." Like, objectively, that's just obnoxious fucking behavior. Don't do that. People are and must be allowed to be upset and angry about genocide!

On the other hand, no matter where you live--but particularly if you live in the United States, a truly immense country with a very great diversity of political opinions--there is no such thing as a viable political coalition, electoral or non-electoral, that you agree with more than like 60% of the time. All the organizing in the world won't change the fact that sooner or later in order to create effective change in the world you are going to have to make common cause with people who, at least in some areas, hold opinions that are repellent to you. You are, in the parlance, going to have to choose (or become) the lesser of two evils. And when people deny that fact--when people prioritize the ethic of conviction to the total exclusion of the ethic of responsibility, as it were--if is frequently (not always, but frequently) people who are going to be OK even if the worse of the two evils wins. People for whom concerns about immigration, or trans rights, or voting rights, etc. are also pretty theoretical. And some people find that pretty frustrating, and I am sympathetic to that, too.

[asidian]

One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.

I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.

Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.

When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.

Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.

This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.

But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.

On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.

Which brings us to Charles.

Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.

During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.

But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.

Let's start with the Devlin House.

Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.

Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.

So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.

Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.

And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.

Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.

That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.

Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.

Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."

And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.

And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.

And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.

This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.

And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.

Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.

But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.

To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.

And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.

Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.

Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.

They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.

She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.

They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.

But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)

But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.

And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.

Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.

But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.

Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.

In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.

And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.

The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.

And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.

Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.

Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.

For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.

Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.

It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.

Charles' is just as touching.

And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.

[dadvans]

Pls tell us more about pregnant Buck and baby daddy Tommy 🙏🏼

Oh, GLADLY. I spent my entire commute home thinking about this after I got this ask.

Okay, here’s everything you must know about Buckley-Kinard Baby Begins:

Buck is shitscared fucking terrified to tell Tommy when he finds out he’s pregnant, because while he knows that there are men out there who can get pregnant, Buck didn’t think or know he was one of those men. And they’ve been dating for six months, and at the four month mark they had their first ever fight, because Buck decided to say “I Love You” for the first time in the same conversation where he was asking Tommy if they could stop using condoms. They haven’t even talked about kids. Tommy, Buck reflects hysterically, is gonna think Buck is babytrapping him.

He lets himself into Tommy’s place after the doctor’s appointment. Tommy is in bed, napping off a shift, and he’s big and warm like the best desert rock that Buck’s lizard brain wants to curl up on. He crawls into bed with Tommy in a way that feels so final, because when Tommy wakes up for good and Buck lays out the news that there is a baby—and more importantly, that the second Buck found out that there was a baby he knew he wanted to keep it—he’s probably gonna ask Buck for his spare key back, block his number, and ready himself for eighteen years of child support payments.

Tommy shifts, mostly still asleep, eyes impossibly closed under the sun seeping between his bedroom window slats. He’s known Buck’s been feeling like shit the past few weeks, and would have offered to take Buck to his appointment if it weren’t for aforementioned shift. “Howwuz doctor’s?”

“Fine,” Buck says. “Tell you more when you get up.”

Which is Tommy’s cue to pass the fuck back out, which he does.

And Buck watches him sleep, and the most horrible part is that he has this fledgling hope that he’ll tell Tommy about the baby and Tommy won’t think he’s a crazy babytrapping monster and won’t kick him out and will say, you know what, yeah, let’s do this.

Buck knows what it’s like to be crushed and this hope is crushing him. He can’t fall asleep under its weight. Maybe another hour passes before Tommy wakes up, but it feels like a lifetime buried under this tiny hope.

So, he’s a fucking mess when Tommy does wake up, when Tommy says, “So, did they figure out what’s going on?” and all Buck can say is, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, I’m sorry.” He’s pregnant, he didn’t know, he didn’t think, he would’ve been smarter, he wouldn’t have asked, he’s so sorry, and he wants to have this kid, he doesn’t expect anything from Tommy, he’s sorry.

Miracle of miracles Tommy just holds him through it.

The thing is, Tommy knows he’s not a natural with kids like Buck is. It’s not that he particularly wants or doesn’t want them, but until recently he’d kind of resigned to it not being an option, never willing to tie himself to someone else like that when he was so deep in the closet, and now in his mid-forties with no real biological clock ticking it hasn't been a priority. No, he and Buck haven’t talked about kids, but he knows Buck doesn’t have a malicious or insidious bone in his body, and being with Buck has made him realize there’s this well of love inside him that goes far deeper than he’s ever known it to.

And maybe it won’t work out, Tommy is the first to admit. Maybe it is too soon for them to think this is something their relationship can survive so early in, but it’s not something he’s ready to say no to either. So maybe they carry the burden of hope together, for this life they’re making together, and they give it their best shot.

(The sex they have after this conversation is so off-the-wall bonkers crazy intense that if Buck weren’t already pregnant, well.)

Later, when Buck’s had time to process that Tommy’s not going to leave him over this, that they’re going to try and make this work, that Tommy wants to make this work as bad as he does, does Buck address the second problem that’s bothering him: Buck wants to keep working as long as he can. He can’t be side-lined again. He tells Tommy much more about the lawsuit than Tommy previously knew, the parts that Buck is embarrassed about still years later. How he can’t go back to that, or won’t, how even though they’ve finally ousted Gerrard and Bobby’s back at the helm of the 118, he’s afraid that Bobby won’t trust him and that no matter how much has changed, he’s still replaceable to the people he considers family (not healthy, Tommy doesn’t say, but he gets it).

So, Tommy’s like: let’s take a week. Let’s look into this. He’s known pregnant people in the field before, there are proper channels to consider and protections to be made before Buck has his second pregnancy-related breakdown. They support each other through the next step, and it feels auspicious and good for this whole thing working out.

Telling Bobby for real still doesn’t come as well as Buck would like it to. He babbles. He starts out by mentioning he’s done his research, and there are lawsuits (he’d like to avoid) and more recent case studies on all these accommodations that say barring complications he’d be suited to some duty through his second trimester, and—

“Wait, you’re pregnant?” Bobby asks.

Buck stammers out, “Uh yeah. It’s not—we didn’t know I was even a carrier, so it’s a surprise. That said, it’s still, you know, we know it’s early—it’s really, really early, but Tommy and I talked about it. And we want it, you know, even if he and I don’t work out at the end of the day. It’s not unwanted.”

(And there’s something to be said there about both Buck and Tommy, two men who grew up feeling unwanted suddenly bringing a new life into the world, and knowing above all else that no matter how things work out between them, they’re going to make this kid know how wanted it is.)

“Congratulations, Buck, that’s amazing,” Bobby says. Smiling in a way that Buck knows he means it, in a way that makes Buck think, is he proud of me? I think he’s proud of me. In a way that he knows that despite all his fears and their past history, Bobby trusts him on this one, will work with him, will provide the support he needs now that he knows how to ask for it.

Buck gets to go to Tommy's (home) after his shift, and when Tommy asks, Buck says, "Bobby's having me refitted for PPE in a few weeks, we're all good to go" (all three of us)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling a girl her boyfriend is cheating on her

My ( 17F) best friend (17M) recently got back together with his ex girlfriend. The broke up for the first time about a year ago after a six month relationship and then got back together two months ago im pretty sure . She is a very sweet girl , admittedly i dont know her that well but she seems nice , while my best friend , despite how much i love him , has made a lot of mistakes in his life and he cas been a real jerk in the past . For some reason she decided she wanted him back , even if the break up was very terrible and she started flirting with him again .About two months ago , when they where in the talking stage me and that friend hooked up . I didnt think much of it because they werent officially back together and handt talked about being exclusive , despite there being a lot of rumors of them dating again

Couple weeks from the hook up pass and he texts me very late at night drunk out of his mind , asking me to come over to his appartment. He and the girl at that point had officially gone on a couple of dates and where in am exlusive relationship. I wrote it off again , thinking he was drunk and stupid and that the relationship was new and he still had a little room for making mistakes like that

Another week passes and he texts me again asking me to come to his apartment to hook up , only this time he was very sober . I reject him again , only that time i mentioned his girlfriend and i told him that dming girls asking for hook ups is borderline cheating and that if he wants things to work out with his girlfriend he needs to stop it with the booty calls . He apologized imidietly and said hed never hit on me again

I thought that was the end of that , that he had finally settled down amd would stop with the hitting on random women . Well last night he texts me again explaining how hes dming this chick who is not his girlfriend , who i know for a fact he really really wants to fuck and hes asking me for advive and asking me how he can play it so she agrees to go out with him .

To my knowledge he hasnt hooked up with anyone since getting back together with his girlfriend , but i have proof in screenshots that he has hit on other girls with the intentions of sleeping with them . I dont particularly care about his girlfriend, and even though hes a jerk i really care about him , and we have a complicated history and i would feel very bad if i ruined this relationship for him . I have at multiple times tried to convince him to break up , or even ask for an open relationship but he wont listen . If i send the screenshots to his girlfriend our friendship would be ruined , and also its not really my place at all , shes the one who wanted to get back together with a man shw knew for a fact to be a jerk , she knew what he was like , they dated for a long time when the first got together and he had very similar behaviours . I think i should just let her discover it on her own .

[wilted-society]

playing with fire

pairings: mattheo riddle x reader

genre: fluff + angst

warnings: suggestive ending, cussing

— mattheo's flirtiness couldn't be held back. You decided you were fed up with it.

Hogwarts hummed with its typical vibrancy, the old stone corridors filled with the noise of students' chatter and sporadic laughter. Despite the lively surroundings, you were preoccupied with a recent confrontation with Mattheo. Your relationship, marked by a fiery mix of passion and intensity, had taken a toll on you, leaving you especially shaken and uneasy after this latest disagreement.

With a heavy heart, you strolled your way through the great hall. Stopping to sit down beside Pansy, who took notice of your unusual behavior.

"What's the matter? You usually sit next to Riddle?" Pansy questioned, seemingly oblivious but quickly realized as she noticed the tension between you two. "Oh.. Is it bad?" She whispered, to which you only replied with a weak nod.

On the other hand, Mattheo, who was sitted beside Theodore, looked your way for a moment and then went back to his food. Playing with, barely even eating any of it.

"What's happened? She usually sits right next to you." Theo furrowed his eyebrows, looking between you and Mattheo. Immediately noticing the tension. "I fucked up." was all Mattheo said, before turning back to his plate and played with his food. Theodore urged him to tell what was the reason, kept pestering him until he finally told Theo.

The fight had stemmed from a misunderstanding that quickly spiraled out of control. Mattheo had been spending more time with his Slytherin friends, particularly a girl named Cassandra, who had a reputation for being overly flirtatious.

Y/N had confronted Mattheo about it, her insecurities bubbling to the surface.

"Why do you keep spending so much time with Cassandra?" Y/N had demanded, her voice tight with jealousy. "She's all over you, and you don't seem to mind."

Mattheo had frowned, clearly taken aback by her accusation. "Cassandra's just a friend, Y/N. You're overreacting."

"Am I?" Y/N had shot back, her frustration growing. "It feels like you're pushing me away. Like you don't care about how I feel."

Mattheo's eyes had darkened with anger. "That's ridiculous. You're being paranoid. I can't have friends without you thinking the worst?"

The argument had escalated, each of them saying things they didn't truly mean. Mattheo had stormed off, leaving Y/N feeling a mix of anger, hurt, and regret. The wounds from their fight still stung, and she couldn't shake the feeling that their relationship was on shaky ground.

"Yeah you fucked up," Theodore patted Mattheo on the back, "better make it up to her then." Theo said before turning back to group, to which Mattheo sighed.

.

"I swear, Luna. That guy will be the death of me. He was basically eye-fucking that Cassandra, flirting with her like he doesn't have a girlfriend!" You ranted to Luna Lovegood, who was intently listening to you rambling.

Luna, perched on a windowsill with her legs crossed, watched you with her usual calm demeanor. Her big, silvery eyes were filled with empathy and a hint of concern. "That sounds incredibly frustrating, Y/N. Have you tried telling Mattheo how you feel?"

You stopped pacing and turned to face her, your frustration palpable. "I did, Luna. But he just brushed me off, saying I'm overreacting. It's like he doesn't even care how much it hurts."

Luna tilted her head, considering your words carefully. "Sometimes people act out in strange ways when they're dealing with their own insecurities. Mattheo might not realize how much his actions are affecting you."

You threw your hands up in exasperation. "Well, he needs to realize it, Luna! It's like he's purposely trying to get a reaction out of me. And it's working. I don't know how much more I can take."

Luna slipped off the windowsill and walked over to you, her movements graceful and serene. She placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Maybe he's trying to provoke you because he's unsure about his own feelings. Or maybe he's testing the boundaries of your relationship. Either way, you deserve honesty and respect."

You felt a lump forming in your throat, and tears threatened to spill over. "I just... I love him, Luna. But this is tearing me apart. Seeing him with her, laughing and flirting like I'm invisible... it hurts so much."

Luna's expression softened even more, and she pulled you into a comforting hug. "Love can be very complicated, Y/N. But you are strong, and you deserve someone who makes you feel valued and secure."

You hugged her back, feeling some of your tension ease in her calming presence. "What should I do, Luna? I don't want to lose him, but I can't keep feeling like this."

Luna stepped back and looked into your eyes, her gaze steady and wise. "You need to have a serious conversation with Mattheo. Tell him exactly how his actions are making you feel. If he truly cares for you, he'll listen and make an effort to change. If he doesn't, then you need to consider what's best for your own well-being."

You nodded, wiping away a tear. "You're right. I need to be honest with him and with myself."

Luna smiled, a soft and reassuring expression that made you feel a little lighter. "And remember, you always have friends who care about you. You're never alone in this."

"Thank you, Luna. I really needed to hear that," you said, your voice steadier now.

"Anytime, Y/N. Let's go for a walk by the lake. The fresh air might help clear your mind and give you the courage you need to face Mattheo," Luna suggested, her hand still gently resting on your arm.

You nodded, grateful for her support. "That sounds like a good idea."

.

"Goodnight, Luna!" You bade your goodbyes to Luna, parting ways as you strolled through the winding corridors on your way to the Slytherin dungeons.

The dim torchlight illuminated the path ahead, and the castle seemed almost alive with its shadows and quiet reverberations.As you quietly strolled, you heard a voice call out your name.

"Y/N!" It was him—Mattheo Riddle. The same voice that always had the power to make your heart race, the one that whispered sweet nothings to your ear. But tonight, his voice only stirred up more anger and heartbreak.

You chose to ignore him and kept walking, determined not to give in. "Y/N! Please, can we talk through this?" he begged, his footsteps echoing against the stone walls as he hurried to catch up.

You paused and turned to face him, a cold glint in your eye. "You better be." You narrowed your eyes at him, still furious and heartbroken.

Mattheo ran a hand through his hair, his dark eyes filled with a mix of desperation and regret. "I know I messed up, Y/N. I didn’t realize how much it would hurt you.”

Your heart wavered slightly at the sincerity in his voice, but you quickly regained your resolve. “Actions speak louder than words, Mattheo. You flirt with other girls and brush me off. How am I supposed to believe anything you say?”

He took a step closer, his presence encroaching on your space. “I’ve been an idiot, Y/N. I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just—I’ve been dealing with my own insecurities, and I wasn’t thinking straight.”

You felt a surge of frustration and sadness, but deep down, you still cared for him. “You have a funny way of showing it, Mattheo.”

He reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek. “I’m sorry. I never want to lose you. I just need you to understand.”

The touch of his skin against yours sent shivers down your spine. It was a soft caress, a brief moment of tenderness amidst the chaos. You felt torn between wanting to push him away and craving the intimacy that only he could provide.

His dark eyes bore into yours, his voice low and intense. “Let me make it up to you, Y/N. Let me show you how much I care.”

Your breath hitched at the suggestion, and you felt a twinge of desire creeping into your thoughts. “Show me?” you murmured, your voice betraying a hint of vulnerability.

Mattheo’s hand slid from your cheek to the small of your back, pulling you closer. “Yes. Let me prove to you that I’m worth it.”

He leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, heated kiss. You could feel the tension in his body as he deepened the kiss, his hands moving to caress your waist. A shiver ran through you as his touch lingered on your skin.Your resistance melted away as you responded to his kiss, feeling the need to be close to him. It was a soft, heated moment that made you forget the pain of the past few days.

Breaking the kiss, Mattheo rested his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your lips. You smirked, an idea—rather suggestive, came up in your head. "Lead the way, then."

And with that, Mattheo wasted no time dragging you both into his room. His smile was visible as he sprinted immediately to prove himself.

[tragedyslut]

Hellooo! i can’t remember if i’ve requested this or not but i Love Love Love your writing style on sub abby! i was wondering if you could please write Sub Abby who struggles a lot with lasting a long time? maybe half nsfw and half sfw? comforting abby after she finishes too fast and gets all insecure about it? thank youuuu!!!! >^<

abby never lasted long, at all. she always apologized so hard after, promising to try last longer next time, even though you both knew she couldn't. you didn't mind though, you just loved making her feel good.

after a particularly short time where she finished way too fast, you could practically feel the guilt radiating off of her. she was laying on the bed below you, a whimpering panting mess, just absolutely adorable, a stark contrast to what you usually seen from her out on patrols etc.

" .. sorry.. " she whispered out, getting all red. she was so embarrassed that she couldn't ever last longer.

" its okay baby, it felt good didn't it? " you assured her, gently pulling her into your arms. she huffed in response, burying her head in your shoulder. she was still soaked, and her thighs were still wet. you reached over, and gently began cleaning her up. she whimpered, still being so sensitive from earlier activities. she felt so bad that she felt tears pricking her eyes. you noticed, so once you finished cleaning her up, you pulled her into a hug and gently whispered into her ear.

" yknow sweetheart, you're perfect. all that matters is that you feel good 'kay? the fact that you can't last long doesn't bother me, just means your feeling good. and thats all i want. " you cooed, kissing her on the forehead.

" are you sure? i don't.. wanna bother you or make you like me less. "

" no, no. you'd never. i promise. "

join my taglist hotties :

@massacredkitty

@toosweetfm

@pr1nc3ss-sc4r

@claymoreshaze

@lesbian-useless

[bloodsadx]

even the years that i retroactively have viewed as the most useless of my life have paid off. ive met and befriended many of my heroes from when i was down bad and doing nothing. however in spite of this any time im down im still like. well. i guess im going to jump into the fargo life size human mulcher and deboner (in order to become less full of blood). anyway every time im in an uber with my buddy anne she says the word transexual minimum like 6 times no matter what the vibe of the driver is and last night the uber driver told us to try the following pick up lines (which he called “jaw droppers”): when a girl asks your favorite food, say that “[you] don’t care about stuff like that, [you] want to get to know the flavor of [her] taste buds.” he insisted she’s never heard some shit like this before, so she’ll either like it and you’ll start making out, or if she’s “a more polite woman” she will be like ok ok, and at that point you say “i’m not trying to nourish your body, i’m trying to enrich your soul.” he said that you say that, this being the “jaw dropper,” and then you “can shove your tongue down her throat.” well me and my buddy anne were losing our minds in this uber. and then she started saying the word transsexual to refer to her previous partners and the guy became strictly quiet. well anyway. the moral of the post is, if you walk around a lot, you notice more stuff. i’ve been walking about 10-15 miles a day for the past few weeks and something i’ve been noticing a lot is one specific sticker around portland which ive seen i think sincerely about 300 different places in the past week. and i’ve been walking some really not well trodden, very annoying routes, and this guy has been putting stickers up in some really strange and not even particularly visible spots. and the thing is, i kind of don’t even like this guy’s sticker, but i do really like seeing it, so i really respect that guy. and last night i made direct eye contact with a guy as he put down a slice of pizza and took out a paint marker to write on a trash can. me personally if i made direct eye contact with someone as i was about to write on a trash can i would probably not do that.

i’ve been making draft posts like this when i get home from a long walk and then not posting them nearly explicitly because i don’t want a bunch of people to read them. sometimes i let one fly and it does get like a hundred notes and i just get pissed off. a few months ago i got so mad about something i kept hitting the ground with sticks as hard as possible and trying to suplex trees and victorian house porch support beams at my friends houses. not to test my strength but rather to feel completely indignantly impotent and to feel myself fail against the weight of the world. i got into a bad car crash and have been disallowed by the weight of the world from driving endlessly and aimlessly through the country and instead have endlessly and aimlessly wandered by foot through a place i have lived in for 3 years but only recently have come to feel like i have any knowledge of. so its hard to say which years are more useless. the years where i was doing stuff people gave a fuck about or the years where i was doing stuff that hurt my legs and feet and i saw more stuff? well at the end of the day i suppose nobody can say for sure…after all, on the internet, nobody knows i’m a seaman.

[heyclickadee]

A couple things:

1. The thing is, I actually don’t really think we’re done with the bad batch, for a variety of reasons. There’s too much unresolved, for one thing, and “end of this chapter with these characters” is not how anyone says, “We’re never touching this again.” I really do think we’re getting an immediate follow up with more of a focus on Rex and Echo, but that the rest of the bad batch will still pop in from time to time, giving all of them a chance to round out the last little bit of their stories and character arcs—because they are all just a little bit undercooked. (For example: Crosshair doesn’t even get lines after Tantiss, and the last thing he says about himself takes him from implicitly to explicitly suicidal. The hug is beautiful and cements his place as part of the family, but we never get a moment where he forgives himself or no longer believes that he deserves to die. His redemption arc is magnificent, but it needs that last little push to feel fully resolved).

And, for another variety of reasons, I actually do still think we’ll be getting Tech back in one way or another. So much of what is left unresolved in TBB forms a chalk outline around a Tech-shaped void, for one. The writers aren’t committed enough to have come up with a decent reason for why he had to go in the first place—stakes does not cut it and is actively undermined by never treating it like a character death—for another. They were, at the very least, not committed enough to actually kill him. Tech is the only character in a show that loves making us watch who doesn’t die on screen, and the only one who’s “death” moves nothing forward and is never treated like an actual death. And we have no definitive proof he actually died, for another. (Even if he was CX-2—CX-2 got “killed” two other times on screen and popped up five minutes later each time like a daisy. If you do that you’re going to have to burn the body and scatter the ashes for me to think he’s dead, impalement or no. Besides, you can’t definitively kill a main character via subtext. You still have to be clear and direct.) And Tech has too many callback lines and potential survival foreshadowing for someone to never tug on them at some point, for another. You’d have to kill me to keep me from doing something with, “Better late than dead.” Basically, tl:dr, I think Tech will come back someday, whether they have plans or not.

Because I can’t really get on board with the idea that The Bad Batch was just always badly written. I can’t agree with that. It was never perfect, of course, but it was always remarkably well written and thematically consistent for 46 straight episodes and then tripped on the chalk of the finish line. Besides, I’ve never seen bad writing that was perfectly set up amazing writing if all they did was one simple thing—ie, follow through with what they set up. It’s not that the ending is bad, it’s that it’s bad in this particularly insane way. If it was just normal bad, I’d have dropped The Bad Batch like a rock by now and done my best to forget I’d ever watched it. But because it’s bad like this—basically, a non-ending that resolves nothing but Hunter’s Cut Lawquane arc, Rampart (which was good, actually), and the problem of Hemlock continuing to draw breath (which was just the last major obstacle in Hunter’s Cut Lawquane arc, so it’s not even a separate thing) and answers NO questions—I’m obsessed.

And I can’t get behind the idea that The Bad Batch ending is like this and that we got shorted a Tech return because they got shorted a season. I’ve seen many serialized animated shows that got shorted a season or more, and what every one of them did was cut out everything they could in the middle so that they could get to the resolution they wanted, squash the originally planned last season’s arcs into the actual last season—not leave those arcs undone and the resolution out. The only way them being shorter a season works as an explanation for all of this is if the creative team found out season three was the last at the same time we did. And even then, the solution there would have been to take out five minutes of fight scene and replace it with five minutes of resolving everything in the short and stupid but still THERE way.

For example: Give Wrecker and Crosshair one line each after Tantiss that tells us what they’re going to do. Unmask CX-2 as Tech after spearing him (or don’t spear him) and add one line where Hunter says he’s recovering and that it’ll be a long road, but they won’t give up on him. Or! If you don’t want to bring Tech back in the short and stupid but there way, add a line to the epilogue where Hunter tells Omega, “I see Tech when I look at you sometimes. I don’t want to lose you the way we lost him,” which seems like a no brainer, or, “Tech would have been so proud of you,” which is absolutely a no-brainer if you actually want to close things out for Tech. Tech would still be gone, but at least it’d be resolved, and that’s all short, simple stuff you could add to the very last episode to make it feel finished. If you’re shorted a season or even a few episodes, you cut everything that doesn’t matter, you do whatever you can to get your story resolved—unless you have somewhere else to put it. Which, given how open Star Wars canon is and how heavily it relies on recontextualization, is a very real possibility here.

What I think may have happened here is that The Bad Batch ended up being the first part of a longer story that had to be artificially cut in half. Whether it was always planned that way, whether it was something that unexpectedly happened partway through the production of season three, or a secret third option (the creative team set things up to to be resolved in three seasons but always wanted to do a longer version, but the longer version (in the form of another show) didn’t get greenlit until they’d already written most of season three, so all the payoff got schlorped over to that follow up show while the payoff stayed in this one, leaving us, the audience, with this incredibly unsatisfying mess of a finale in the meantime while whoever is in charge of announcing shit at Lucasfilm doesn’t see the problem). Put a pin in CX-2, slap something that looks like a happy ending on the rest, resolve nothing, do it all in the next thing.

(Slight sidebar: If it turns out that the reason we didn’t get Tech back is because something went horrifically wrong during the writer’s strike—basically, the finale got hit with extreme budget cuts and the script patched by AI—I think we’d still get Tech back. Tech in the first two seasons was something of a writer blorbo, and no one is leaving their blorbo dead over that. That’s a good way for them to bring back their blorbo and have that blorbo murder the hell out of a thinly disguised CEO insert.)

And if that’s what we’re looking at—well, okay. I can see wanting to give certain things (especially a Tech return) more time. If this is what’s happening I actually think it will be more satisfying in the long run, from a story perspective, anyway. I’ll be able to live with that.

That said….

2. If that’s the case—if what we’re looking at is a story artificially split in half one way or another and we are getting a Tech return and the rest of the resolution eventually in an immediate follow up, something that will ultimately work really well in the long run—that doesn’t mean I think it works now. Right now, it’s awful, from every angle. We don’t know for sure that anything else is coming, it makes for a deeply unsatisfying story right now because the “ending” we have is all we have to go on, and it’s unnecessarily stressful for most everyone but especially the autistic fans who relate to Tech.

And the thing is, if Tech were neurotypical? I don’t think we’d really be question the idea that he could still come back eventually. He’s a clear writer favorite to the point that they basically gave him the entirety of season two, except the two Crosshair episodes, great lines and moments in other character’s episodes, and they apparently liked using him so much that either CX-2 was Tech or they physically couldn’t stop themselves from writing and animating Tech in a season he wasn’t in. Killing off one of the writer faves and the fan favorite in order to bring them back later is something that happens. But it’s something that hits differently when that writer and fan favorite is also the only canonically autistic character in the franchise.

Which. Is I think where we run into a problem. You see, I never really got the impression that the creative team ever thought of Tech as The Autistic One. Does that mean I think the didn’t write him as autistic? Of course not—they absolutely did, and did so intentionally. What I mean is that that wasn’t the sum total or even the primary way in which they thought of him, otherwise I think we would have ended up with a terrible Sheldon-Cooper-esque. Instead, the Tech they wrote, and the Tech we got, is just a guy. A really amazing guy who’s noticeably different and autistic AF, but treated like any other character. And on the one hand, great! I know people have a lot of different ideas about this, but I personally want writers to deal with autistic characters that way—to just write us like we’re people. And if what they’re doing is bringing Tech back later and on a longer timeframe than what we expected—also great. It means that all the ambiguity, hinting, and complete and total lack of processing or closure makes sense, because that’s how you write a fakeout death. That’s textbook how you write a fakeout death. But—but—

The flip-side of just treating Tech like any other character and, perhaps, playing a long game with “killing” him off and bringing him back later like someone would do with a fan favorite, if that’s what they’re doing, is that you end up in the situation that we’re in right now. The interim situation where it feels like Tech’s sacrifice was never given the weight it needed to feel final or meaningful, where we’re given no closure and no opportunity to let go, where we DON’T know if anything is coming next even if we do get hints, where Tech got dropped, where nothing makes sense, and where the autistic fans in the audience who relate to Tech feel like Star Wars kicked them in the face and told them that they don’t belong here.

So.

I want this to be a long game, and I do think this could, one, be a situation where they team is having to work around some kind of corporate shenanigans to play that long game, and; two, could end up being a fantastic story that I love even more than the version I wanted.

But even if I’m right and that is the case, I also hate that this is where we’re at in the here and now, that it’s hurt people as badly as it has, and think that they should never do anything like this again, because the game stopped being fun a long time ago.

tl;dr: I don’t think we’re done yet, I think this is part of a longer story, I think we’ll get Tech back at some point whether it was planned or not, but I also hhhaaaaaatte the current situation and think it’s been mishandled.

[dowhatteverer]

This was originally going to be a really angry post where I talked about bad faith criticisms of htfasj and vagued about the veiled entitlement of people who mock my story and went in-depth into debunking some criticisms of me that made me particularly upset with their contradiction and horrible implications. Then I wrote this last part and I realized that it was much more important than getting back at people who upset me. So I decided to delete all that and focus on this.

If you're in the Genloss fandom, particularly in relation to TSE, you've probably heard about or read "How to Fail at Ship Jumping" and seen the fandom's aftermath.

I've heard that some people have changed their headcanons to not align with mine and some are afraid to make their own AUs because of what happened with htfasj, and that really sucks.

Honestly, I think that htfasj showed that his fandom has underlying issues and my story is being made an example out of. People feel that Ranboo is too talked about and are frustrated that the side characters don't get more love. People are sick of every other fanfiction just being an escape AU instead of something unique. While at the same time showing that a portion of this fandom thinks they're superior for not liking popular things (the irony of them following streamers with thousands of fans across the globe apparently lost on them) As angry as I am that fast is being made into bloodsports for kids who feel they are entitled to my time and attention, (and make no mistake, that is exactly what my vocal critics are mad about) it's not exactly going against the grain where it matters. It's probably controversial as it is because it's so inoffensive.

I'm planning on soft-quitting Tumblr. After breaking my phone and not being able to check the app for two weeks I realized that I was in a healthier headspace without it. I'm not deleting my accounts because my comic still has people who love it and I don't want people to lose it. But I don't enjoy being in the Genloss fandom anymore because now I constantly fear that there are people who hate me for just having fun or people who like me who are being excluded from parts of the fandom because of my controversy.

So before I leave, I want to say something.

If How to Fail at Ship Jumping frustrates you, make your own version of it that you like better. Or make a completely unique AU that holds all of the things that you love! I don't want the comic that I made because Ranboo's story inspired me to be the "arbiter of Genloss fandom's destruction" I want it to inspire people the way it inspired me to finally get started on my own webcomic.

Be it out of spite or out of love, I want htfasj to make you make something for this fandom that you love and that other people love. I want you to do something fun and unique that makes you happy and scream with joy! I want you to have a subsection of the Genloss fanbase obsessing over your versions of the characters and asking you a million little questions in your ask box and on Discord! I made htfasj because I wanted to do something fun for myself that others could participate in. I don't want to ruin other people's opportunity to do that.

I'll hop back in to squeal about The Founder's Cut next Saturday, but that's probably the most Genloss stuff you'll get from me for a while. I just hope that this fandom will be in a better state by then and we can all have fun talking about this horror series and making it our own with our fan fiction and fan art and AUs like we should have been.

Also publicly hating on other people's fanfictions and Fan art for the sake of complaining instead of trying to help the creator improve is considered bad fandom etiquette, even popular ones. I don't care if you don't @ me, you're still the one being rude.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

So I was reading your meta about why Tom/Minerva wouldn't be a thing or work out in the long run past a date or two, and thought I'd take a stab at how Tom and Alphard did make it work in your and Vinelle's fics.

Alphard's high tolerance for relationship shenanigans

Tom might care about his partners (he wouldn't start a relationship in the first place if he didn't), but he's often bad at letting them know, and also pulls a lot of obnoxious shenanigans/is pushy in general, which can drive off many potential partners. Being in a relationship with Tom means having to put up with a lot.

So Alphard is one of those people who can tolerate this. Maybe part of it is just his natural personality, but I feel like Walburga being so domineering during their early childhood (she's like this in their early adulthood too, and I doubt their dynamics have changed that much) also plays a major role. Alphard's still capable of being assertive and stubborn over things he finds particularly outrageous, but his default reaction to things he doesn't like is to give up after his first few attempts to change it fail, and just grumble and despair to himself in a corner. So when first-year Tom comes along beating him up, Alphard just goes with his well-practiced response of letting the other party have their way and getting it over with already.

He's also introverted and uncharismatic, which means he doesn't have much of a social life and gets lonely as a result. So having a boyfriend who values him for his thoughts and he can have a deeper connection with is something Alphard really likes, so even if said boyfriend is sometimes being negligent or pulling/having pulled crazy stuff (ie constantly beating him up in the past), it's still better than nothing. The fact that he's gay which massively cuts down on potential romantic partners, and would make him stigmatized if he got outed doesn't help. Neither does his massive crush on Tom. (Lily's more charming and doesn't have the orientation issue, but she's still lonely and without deep connections. In any case, she also displays the same high tolerance for less-than-stellar boyfriend behavior)

Minerva, who probably has a better social life and isn't so lonely, would be less tolerant of all of Tom's baggage.

2. Alphard already being aware Tom isn't all sunshine, and in general gets to see past the facade more

He's in Slytherin, and they're dormmates to boot, which means Alphard is getting a front-row seat to Tom being a horrible menace to their housemates (and him). Nonetheless he still finds things to admire about Tom, and though that could be kickstarted by teenage hormones, a good chunk of that attachment must come from Alphard himself or the crush wouldn't last so many years. Alphard is already at the point of being able to accept liking Tom while still knowing he does unpleasant things. So if you drop the revelation of Tom doing worse than just nasty school bullying onto their heads (ie the basilisk and horcruxes), Alphard will still be in for a shock, but that's less for him to process than Minerva who only gets the shattered charming perfect facade of Tom to work with.

Also, being dormmates means that Alphard in general gets to spend more time observing Tom, which combined with his perceptiveness means he knows Tom as a person rather well, maybe better than Tom knows him (Tom spent several years not paying attention), dirty secrets aside. Even the less observant Abraxas manages to see more of Tom by virtue of his position than Minerva.

3. Tom's actually interested because of circumstance and the mystery/newness factor

Tom is fresh from all the crazy stuff that went down last year and in the summer, and while presumably still having a mental breakdown has gotten some of it out of his system. He's still unhappy and restless and wants to do something to distract himself, but he probably wants it to be something less, uhh, exciting than what happened earlier. (I'm assuming what was described in OOI is also canon to TMWWBK or other fics)

And then while going through his usual kicking housemates in the stomach so they know their place routine, he notices Alphard's choice of reading material. Come on, there's no way his stupid dormmate actually understands that stuff, right? He's probably just being pretentious and wants to make himself feel smart. Nonetheless, there's nothing lost if he asks, and then when Alphard doesn't give the expected answer he gets curious. Isn't this exactly the kind of harmless pursuit he wanted? (Alphard, meanwhile, sees what's happening and decides to deliberately bait Tom into following up) One thing leads to another when Tom realizes Alphard himself has some pretty interesting thoughts sometimes, and then they're friends and romantically involved.

This also seems to be the case for other fics where Tom gets romantically entangled with someone. More than even intelligence, Tom seems to need that other person to have hidden depths or a mystery that he can pursue. Bonus points for them being evasive, which eggs him on. Minerva, as a known factor that he already gets the gist of, just doesn't interest him enough.

4. General romanticism and Alphard's willingness to commit

So you said Tom's romanticism makes him want to skip the dating stage and do relationships in an all or nothing way. Either they commit or there's no relationship at all.

And Alphard, who isn't exactly swimming in other options, is quite attached to Tom, and does have a dramatic streak himself, is willing to take the plunge. The fact that it's a taboo relationship (both same-sex and a pureblood seeing an apparent muggleborn) and they have to see each other in secret, demanding a higher level of commitment, just amplifies it.

5. The blood purism and societal issues thing

This is the part where it doesn't work. Well, those two have other things going for them, and have enough of an established relationship and care for each other that they try to work around this issue, but it never gets fully resolved in the canon and near-canon timelines. The blood purity debate is one of those things that comes up every now and then, and always ends with them deciding to call it quits because neither party is convincing the other anyways, and don't they have more productive things to do with their time?

So Tom of course struggles to get anywhere in the wizarding world as himself, and concerned, Alphard tries to help by giving him financial support, which often is turned down. Alphard might think it's just Tom being too proud to accept handouts, and that is part of the reason he won't take substantial gifts unless Alphard gets smart about it, but it's also a matter of principle. The issue is the wizarding world being built on nepotism and closing its doors to outsiders, and Tom only managing to do well with his insider boyfriend's help kind of proves the point.

Alphard is better about understanding muggleborn issues than most purebloods, but he isn't muggleborn himself, and there's still a remove between watching something happen to a loved one and experiencing it yourself. So he's aware of Tom's struggles to get anywhere in society legitimately, and acknowledges it's unfair, but the same tendency towards resignation that helps him put up with Tom's nonsense also works against him here, in that he gives up on the system changing too easily. For him, yes, the system is broken and there's a lot of things that could be done better so muggleborns don't get screwed over, but it is what it is, and it's not like they can actually change things. Tom, of course, refuses to accept this, and this tension eventually leads to Alphard being unable to prevent the Voldemort thing because he can't fully get it.

So that's at least what I got from analyzing things. Please let me know if I missed anything significant or got something wrong.

This is a truly beautiful post anon, I love it, but unfortunately confirming or denying anything would be spoilers to a lot of things..

Look, @therealvinelle, ship thoughts!

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Hello! Could I request A, G, K, P, and S for Cp0 Kaku Please?

I admittedly based this more off his CP9 days because I haven't gotten far enough to see him as a CPO agent. I hope that's okay! Also thank you for requesting Kaku, I owe you a kiss on the forehead.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He's very old fashioned, and that comes out strong in his affection for you. He displays all four love languages pretty evenly, but he leans the most into acts of service. He loves to do things for you and make himself feel useful. In the early days, he tries to endear himself to you by doing favors. Things like repairing something that broke in your home or running errands in your place if you're too busy. He also wants to be seen as a provider by you. He wants you to rely on him, and he also simply enjoys giving you gifts; particularly if he made them. I headcanon that he's incredible at woodwork in general, so he could fully furnish your whole home if you don't stop him.

As for physical touch, he's very polite about it at first. In the beginning, he'll hook his arm with yours, rest his hand on the small of your back, and hold hands with you. He might even kiss your hand if he feels like the day with you is going well. As he gets more bold and comfortable, he also enjoys hugging you from behind and kissing your forehead.

His affection starts off mild and polite, but the more the obsession grows, the more intense it gets. Every interaction leaves him wanting more, and he's so desperate to get the next high that he'll make excuses as to why you seem to not want it. You're just shy, or maybe you had a bad experience and don't feel safe with him yet. That's got to be all it is.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Not at all. He would be genuinely offended if you so much as insinuated that it was a game. He loves you! How could you possibly think that this is just a game to him? All that he wants is to have a nice life with you by his side. He's 100% genuine in his love and want for you. Escape attempts are usually excused as being something else. Like you just wanting fresh air or needing to get something from the store. If he sees it for what it actually is, he gets really quiet. He feels hurt that his darling would want to run away from him. Is he not good enough? He decides that that must be it, so he doubles down on affection and spending time with you. You just felt neglected, that's all.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

You two were getting mistaken for a married couple since you first started spending time together. He's always calling you dear and regarding you with such soft and genuine affection that everyone assumes you're newly weds or something. This works out great for Kaku because that's pretty much how he feels right off the bat. He doesn't open himself up easily, so if he let you in enough to actually date you, he's already pondering what to get you for your first wedding anniversary. He knows that you two aren't married yet, but he has occasional slip ups where he'll refer to you as his spouse.

Once you're happily married and living together (read: kidnapped), he plays the part of a doting husband. He's kissing you the second he walks through the door even if he has to hold you in place for it. He'll make small talk about your respective days while you two cook dinner together. When that's done, he'll cuddle up to you on the couch while talking about how much he loves and appreciates you. This man wants to play pretend that he has a perfectly normal life, and he'll get you to participate in that delusion one way or another.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Kaku is an extremely patient man in general, and that applies to you. As long as no outside force pushes him to act quickly, he could play the part of a perfectly normal and loving boyfriend for years. You'll never see his true nature coming because what few slip ups he has are either very minor or justifiable.

After the rug has been pulled out from under you, and you start to fight back against him, he's still very patient. He's so delusional and good at justifying your behavior that most of the things you do don't even phase him. Genuinely upsetting him takes a lot and will actually make him withdraw for a bit while he tries to figure out how to fix it.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

It's a combination of his childhood and him being dissatisfied with how his life currently is. He feels a constant ache for the family he once had before he was orphaned, and there is nothing that he wants more than to have his own family and finally be able to heal through that.

On top of that, he doesn't like being a Cipher Pol Agent. It's just what he is, and he feels like he's trapped because that isn't exactly a job you can just quit. He craves normalcy and loves the appeal of a mundane life. He sees his darling as an opportunity to finally have that.

[zwedexx]

Day 5 - Kailen Sheridan x Teen Reader

Summary: R is struggling with anxiety and turns to unhealthy coping mechanisms

WC: 1,424

TW: Bad Mental Health, Alcohol, Addiction

A/N: This fic takes place in 2027, the reader is 17 and Kailen and Dominique adopted her when she was 10. | Also I'm sorry its coming out today. I just realized my scheduled release was in July.

You wake up every morning with a knot in your stomach, a tightness in your chest that never seems to go away. Anxiety has become a constant companion, whispering doubts and fears into your ear as you prepare for another day.

At school, you try to blend in, to hide the turmoil within. You laugh at jokes, engage in class discussions, and spend time with friends, all while feeling like you’re on the brink of breaking down. The constant buzzing of worries—What if I fail? What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not good enough?—plays in your mind, a relentless loop that drains your energy.

It was a Friday afternoon when you heard it for the first time. Sitting in the cafeteria, surrounded by the chatter of your friends, someone suggests that a drink might help. Just one or two, they say, to take the edge off. You brushed it off at first, but the idea planted a seed in your mind.

That weekend, the curiosity and the promise of relief become too much to ignore. Alone in your room, you reach for the bottle you found in the back of the kitchen cabinet. You hesitate for a moment, the warnings from your parents echoing in your mind, but the desperation for calm wins out. You take a sip, then another, the bitter taste quickly replaced by a warm sensation that spreads through your body.

As the alcohol takes effect, you feel a strange sense of calm. The constant churning in your stomach eases, and for the first time in months, the worries in your mind quiet down. You like the way it feels. It’s as if a heavy burden has been lifted, even if only temporarily.

Over the next few weeks, you start to rely on that feeling. At first, it’s just a drink or two on the weekends, but soon, you find yourself reaching for the bottle more frequently. The temporary relief it provides becomes something you crave, a brief escape from the relentless anxiety.

You tell yourself it’s just to help you cope, that you can stop anytime you want. But deep down, you know it’s more than that. The alcohol has become a crutch, something you rely on to get through the day.

One morning, the anxiety is particularly bad. The thought of facing another day at school felt overwhelming. You decided to take a drink before leaving the house, just a small one, to make things easier. It worked, at least for a while. School felt more manageable, and you could get through the day without the constant gnawing at your nerves.

That became your new routine. A drink in the morning to start the day, another in the evening to unwind. It’s a secret you kept to yourself, hidden from your parents and friends. You became more secluded, retreating to the safety of your room more often.

Your schoolwork starts to slip, the once neat and precise assignments now sloppy and rushed.

You don’t care, as long as you can keep the anxiety at bay.

The drinking increases, a few sips turning into full glasses. You start to notice the effects more clearly. Your thoughts are muddled, and you’re more irritable than usual. But the relief is still there, and you cling to it desperately. You can’t stop, don’t want to stop. The alcohol has become a lifeline, something that makes the unbearable slightly more bearable.

As the days pass, the signs become harder to hide. Your parents start to notice the changes in you. They ask if everything is okay, their concern evident. You brush them off, insisting that you’re just stressed about school. Your friends notice the changes too. They comment on how you seem different, more distant, but you brush them off, just like you did with your parents.

You could admit it yourself, the person looking back at you was different. You could barely recognize yourself. But even then, the thought of stopping filled you with panic.

One evening, Kailen asks you to come to one of her games. It’s a big match, and she thinks it will be good for you to get out of the house and socialize. The idea of being surrounded by people, having to put on a facade, sends your anxiety into overdrive. You feel the familiar knot tighten in your stomach, the fear rising like a tidal wave.

The day of the game arrives, and as you’re getting ready to leave, you realize you have barely anything to drink. Panic sets in. You need the alcohol to get through this, to numb the anxiety that threatens to overwhelm you. In desperation, you grab an emergency bottle you’ve stashed away for moments like this. You take a few quick swigs, hoping it will be enough to calm your nerves.

At the game, the crowd’s energy is palpable. You try to focus on the field, on Kailen, but the need is relentless. You sneak away to a quiet corner and take another drink from your bottle, the alcohol burning as it goes down. It helps, but only for a moment. You’re more relaxed, but you’re also more careless.

However, Jessie does. She watches you closely, noting the way your pupils are dilated and how you seem off balance. Her concern grows as she sees the strained look in your eyes.

“Kailen,” Jessie says quietly after you walk away. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Kailen turns to her, still smiling. “Sure, what’s up?”

“It’s Y/N,” Jessie begins carefully. “I think something’s wrong. She wasn’t walking properly, her pupils were dilated, and she seemed really off.”

Kailen’s smile fades, replaced by a look of worry. “You noticed that too?”

Jessie nods. “Yeah, and I think it’s serious. You should talk to her.”

Kailen takes a deep breath, her mind racing. “Thanks, Jess. I’ll handle it.”

That night, the anxiety begins to creep back in, more intense than ever. You pace your room, the familiar knot tightening in your stomach. Desperation claws at you. You need another drink, something to calm your nerves before they spiral out of control.

You make your way to the kitchen, opening the cabinet where you usually stash your emergency bottles. But there’s nothing left. Panic sets in. You know you usually buy it from others, but now you don’t have a choice. You need it now. Quietly, you reach for a bottle of your parents' alcohol, hoping they won’t notice.

As you’re about to pour yourself a drink, Kailen walks into the kitchen. She sees the bottle in your hand and stops, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and understanding. “Y/N,” she says gently, “what are you doing?”

Your heart races, panic setting in. “I… I just need it. Please, Mom, I need it.”

Kailen steps closer, her voice calm and soothing. “No, kiddo. You don’t need this. You’re stronger than you think.”

Tears stream down your face as you clutch the bottle tighter. The anxiety is overwhelming, the thought of facing it without the alcohol terrifying. “I can’t,” you sob. “I can’t do it without this.”

Kailen gently takes the bottle from your hands, setting it aside. She wraps her arms around you, holding you tightly as you break down. “Yes, you can,” she whispers. “We’ll get through this together. I promise.”

Your breathing becomes erratic, the room spinning as your heart pounds in your chest. Your vision blurs, and it feels like the walls are closing in on you. Kailen's voice cuts through the haze, a steady anchor in the storm of your emotions. "Y/N, focus on my voice. Breathe with me. In and out, slowly."

You try to follow her instructions, but the panic is overwhelming. Your hands tremble, and your breaths come in shallow gasps. The world feels like it's crashing down around you, and you cling to Kailen as if she’s the only thing keeping you afloat.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Kailen soothes, rubbing your back in gentle circles. “You’re safe. I’m right here with you.”

Gradually, your breathing starts to slow, each inhale and exhale becoming a little steadier. The tightness in your chest begins to loosen, and the room comes back into focus. You lean into Kailen, exhausted and shaky, but feeling a small sense of relief.

“I’m so scared, Mom,” you admit in a whisper, your voice breaking.

“I know,” Kailen replies softly. “But you don’t have to face this alone. We’ll get you the help you need. One step at a time.”

[clementine-thedestroyer]

I don’t know if I’ve said this before… but Valeria definitely makes you get on your knees under her desk and just hold your tongue out against her cunt for her.

Sometimes she’ll make you actually eat her out, but most of the time she’ll just keep you drooling there for a while. Maybe if you’re good and she gets her work done, she’ll let you make her cum- but she’s a busy person, sometimes you’ll just have to sit there with your aching jaw and your numb legs and your big, teary eyes for as long as she says.

She definitely makes you wear dresses for it. She probably just makes you wear dresses in general too- I mean, your job is to be pretty for her. You don’t have to worry about work or anything anymore beyond dolling your self up for her (so she can ruin it, of course. What’s the point of her pretty girl wearing any sort of makeup or nice clothes if she doesn’t get to make her ruin it with tears and slick)

But particularly for this, she likes to see you in loose, flowy sundresses with pretty flowers and bright colors. She likes how the skirts spread out over the floor and how sweet you look all dressed up and on your knees with tears running down your face.

That’s a big part of why she does it: how much she loves the view she gets. But she also loves it for the feeling of your tongue flattened against her hole or clit. Not even moving, just still and warming her cunt until she says otherwise.

You don’t get a pillow to kneel on or anything either. I bet Valeria’s office has that really junky carpet that you’ll usually find in office spaces where it’s like a bunch of balls of matted plastic fibers that hurts like grains of rice would when you kneel on it. It’s definitely an intentional choice on her part.

Afterwards, your jaw is sore enough for you to cry. Holding your mouth as wide open as you can and keeping your tongue out for hours starts to hurt really bad, so afterwards Valeria will always pick you up and sit you in her lap, stroking your hair, praising you, and gently massaging your jaw until it stops hurting enough for her to work two fingers up your messy cunt and give her whiny girl what she needs.

Valeria may not have a cock, but that doesn’t stop her from putting you on your knees while she works. After all, who wouldn’t want a pretty little pussy warmer crying and drooling for their cunt?

[4rs0n1stt]

Talk To You //

Hopeless!Romantic!Donnie x Fem!Reader

author's note; kinda like a song fic (it's not) but yeah, super super late though!!  Donnie's POV btw!!

yes it's been a 3 months 😋

Synopsis; Donnie has been keeping an eye on someone, being a hopeless romantic and his ”bad boy image“ isn't particularly helping.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I hate this, I really hate this. Einstein, fucking help me. I wasn't supposed to like her! I wasn't supposed to like anyone!! I do not have any romantic feelings to her. But every single thing that I researched said otherwise. Even my own brother says so!! Why does everytime I look at you I get so— vulnerable? Staring at your face always made me calm. Admiring? Ew. But— those little short eye contacts are indescribably astonishing to feel. Maybe just maybe?

I don't know. You're messing up my mind- you little—

"Gahh, what should I do?" I groaned and slammed my head onto my table, a pencil fell from the said table. I stayed silent, frustrated at this ungodly useless feelings I've been feeling. I couldn't take her off my mind. All day long, I daydream about her which takes most of my productivity a waste. I haven't done anything but think about that little twat.

Reflecting doesn't help at all, all I think was her and her! Thinking about now, I just don't know why you keep being calm even though I've been so mean to you. I shouldn't do anything stupid like that but I can't help it, I'm figuring this out.

Feelings are so complicated to feel and such an unfortunate thing for me to have something people call as “humane“.

"Hey Donnie! Someoneeee~ got pizza!! She has your favourite!" Leo yelled at the other side of my door. Disturbing me from my reminiscing of this said person. Leo always knew about what our relation—rivalryship (even if it's partially one-sided) is. And he uses it as an advantage to tease me, specifically—fucking with me up.

I wouldn't blame him entirely though, I liked and hated this feeling. He doesn't know anyway. I wouldn't blame him aswell, she's really...cool, I guess.

I stopped myself from thinking about her before it gets worse. I fixed myself, not just physically but mentally, it's an eager to make her impress. But she wouldn't be impressed as I have been mean to her.

As I went to the main room, I wasn't particularly sure where they were but as I, the genius, were right. They were all huddled up with each other. Apparently they missed her for being gone for 13 days, 56 minutes and 12 seconds-

Goddamnit it...

"Ughhh, finally!! Some break from that shithole." She complained, I wondered. She picked a sliced pizza on the placed pizza on the ground and sat at the bean bag. She sighed releasing the stress and pain from her back...I suppose.

"Girl. Spill everything."  Leo spoke excitedly like a girl's girl. Everyone gets their preferred pizza and/or pillows, blankets and sat with her. Curious on her new stories about school.

I was really uninterested about school, but I find myself listening on her rantings about the latest drama, tea and struggles on her daily life of school. I somewhat don't understand her words, I don't care anyway. Her voice has always been nice to hear even if she stuttered sometimes.

But every flaws she had was attractive. It's...unfair. That she's so extraordinary and remarkable human that we happen to stumble upon. I looked at her longingly, eyeing her squinted smile, her pimples, her.

I wish I can talk to you.

To talk to you without any mean remarks towards her, to be able to hear her laugh and compliments towards my acts.

I want to be near her, to feel her presence all of the time. To spend time with her just like my brothers do. How I envy them, surprisingly.

It's so frustrating, it's been years. I've been struggling with my quote unquote "love" or "admiration" towards her. She must be a witch, no one can make me feel like a hopeless pathetic, lovesick dog!

Even if I wanted to confess, I wouldn't have the chance to, I'm way too vulnerable when we're alone. I get so shy and flustered to do it.

Let alone I'm horrible at confronting my feelings, I can even write a damn letter for Einstein's sake!

I just- can't do it now

I'm hopeless.

Yet I desire for you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

author's note here; yes it's been months, i apologize deeply. literally fucking school is devouring my existence and motivation rn not to mention I have a deadline to finish (cough March 29 cough) and I haven't even started it.

dw bbygirls i have some brain poop left and that's another desire to create a book (httyd phase coming back)

credits to Rick Montgemery for his astonishing songsssssssssss

[loupy-mongoose]

Warning: Contains potentially heavy and uncomfortable subject matter.

PREVIOUS NEXT (DEATH WARNING)

ARC START | CHRONO

~~~~~~

Lavender crashed out through the floorboards and outermost wall of the mansion, following after the larger Mewtwo. Blinking against the sudden brightness of the full sunlight, she spotted him lying stunned in the mansion's overgrown backyard. He hastily shuffled onto his hands and knees.

Suddenly, Lavender's ears rotated back, catching creaks and crashing. Her eyes widened, and she spun around in horror; the mansion was collapsing.

MOM, DAD!

Before she could rush in, however, the two Mews appeared in a zap of light.

Seeing with a sigh of relief that they had escaped the mansion's collapse, she turned back to her target.

Nico was hovering now, giving a sad look to the three Lindens. He met Lavender's furious eyes, and returned with a look of sorrow and regret--a look that caused a sudden twinge in Lav's mind.

Then, he turned and dashed off.

Lavender's blood boiled

You're gonna hurt my dad and run??

She sped after him.

All the while, she ignored a tiny nagging feeling in the back of her mind as hot tears streamed from eyes...

~~~~~

Without warning, Randy transformed into his human form.

He laid in the yard, trembling, wide-eyed and gasping. Akoya nuzzled up into his neck, speaking gently to him and purring.

At first he didn't seem to notice her. But gradually, his breathing steadied, and he lifted a shuddering hand to seek out Akoya's warm pelt.

For a bit, they laid together as Randy slowly managed to calm down.

I don't want him to come back, Akoya...

She looked at him, her purr faltering.

Is that selfish of me?

Akoya laid her cheek on his.

...If it's selfish of you, it's selfish of me...

Randy went on as if he didn't hear her.

C-can he even come back?

...Was he ever gone...?

The blue Mew flicked her tail, uncertain what to think or do. M...Maybe we should try to get back to Fuji...

Randy placed his hands on his head and shook his head desperately. I can't transform... I can't risk losing Randy...

Akoya licked his cheek in understanding. Her ears went back as an unpleasant idea struck. I can try to teleport us there myself... O-Or to a closer Pokemon Center... It would be hard, but... I think I could do it...

Randy didn't respond immediately.

...

Where's Lav?

~~~~~~

Nicodemus flew over the ocean north of Cinnabar, keeping close to the island. His cloak flapped behind him.

As she rushed to catch up to Nico, Lavender readied another swirling sphere of energy. The gap between them closed, and he glanced back at her just as she launched the spere.

He braced for the impact, wobbling slightly in his flight with a grunt before steadying.

Gritting her teeth, she psychically "grabbed" a portion of the ocean in front of the fleeing 'two and launched it upward. Nico swerved just in time to avoid it, careening toward Cinnabar's shoreline.

Lav roared and launched another sphere at him, this one smaller and slightly looser as her anger grew, hijacking her control.

This time the force caught him off guard, sending him rolling and finally sprawling onto the island's shore. Groaning and gasping, he propped himself up on his arms.

Lavender halted and held her position over the ocean water, her teeth bared and face streaked with tears. Her breath was sharp and ragged, and her eyes wild.

Why aren't you fighting back?!

Nico looked up at her, meeting her eyes. His own still showed no signs of anger, but a deep despair.

You want me to?

Lav glared down at him. Her gaze turned downward as she prepped a Shadow Ball.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

She launched it down into her own reflection.

Then, she hovered there, motionless. She was wracked with gasping sobs. Her attack bubbled back, splashing her with ocean water, but she didn't notice.

Suddenly, a voice spoke in her mind.

Lavender

She snapped to attention.

A hasty explanation was mentally run by her as she attempted to control her breathing and emotions.

She met Nico's eyes, now realizing what the nagging feeling had been...

Guilt and shame flooded through her. Fresh tears stung her eyes, and she sobbed again.

...I'm sorry, Nico... It wasn't your fault...

Then, she flew off.

It was mine...

~~~~~~

Lavender arrived to find her dad lying in the grass in human form. She felt her blood freeze, but had to remind herself that she could still feel him, and he was breathing. He was still with them.

At least...

She hoped it was him...

Dad...?

He looked up at her as she came into his field of view. He looked exhausted, his eyes shadowed by the feelings he silently grappled with. She was happy to see relief in them, but her heart broke all over again at the agony he seemed desperate to conceal.

His voice was hoarse and shaky. Lav, a-are you okay?

Lav struggled to control her own voice. I-I'm fine, Dad... H-he didn't... a-attack me at all...

She kept part of her thought to herself.

I wish he would have...

She took a sudden sharp breath, trying to distract herself. There were higher priorities now. S-so what are we doing? Dad can't transform, so how do we get back? It's half the region away, or more!

Akoya had a serious look on her face. I'll get us there. I have to. Whatever it takes.

She closed her eyes and sighed. It was clear she wasn't certain about her ability to get them from here all the way to Lavender Town...

She began focusing. Alright, brace yourselves... Unlike the instantaneous teleportations they'd done in the past, Lav could feel her mother attempting to build up the power to accomplish this mission.

Maybe I can somehow share my power...

Feeling desperate to help, she began to focus her own energy toward the blue Mew. Akoya jolted very slightly, the only hint that she felt any change.

Then, after a moment...

They were gone...

~~~~~~

PREVIOUS NEXT (DEATH WARNING)

ARC START | CHRONO

I'm sorry.

This should've been a comic. This part deserves to be to be a comic, and someday I would like to come back and draw it. But right now, I just can't bring myself to, and I didn't want to let that stop progress.

I don't want to disappoint people, but... I dunno. I still have a slim hope of hitting my goal, and I don't want to get hung up and ruin that chance. I want to move on...

Anyway, I hope the read was enjoyable enough. And on the bright side, I've started work on the next part, so there's that at least! :)