#But just in case: Don’t tell me who anyone is

[completeoveranalysis]

[2]

EXCUSE ME I only got to the first panel and had to scream

HELLO! YUKITO AND TOUYA HELLO!! PEAK COUPLE SPOTTED. EXCITEMENT MAXIMUM.

But I suppose I should actually read the page too.

UPDATE. IT IS EVEN MORE WILD THAN BEFORE SOMEHOW.

WHAT DO I EVEN DO WITH THIS?!

Where do we even start.

Yuuko’s talking about the Jam Jar and explains that it was “entrusted to me by the flesh and blood relations of the two of them.”

And the [two of them] seems to be referring to Lava Lamp’s parents, judging by the rest of the page (unless there are even MORE Syaorans and Sakuras floating around but I'm not even considering that yet). But immediately PULL THE BREAK. PULL EVERY BREAK. LET’S STOP RIGHT HERE. 

The panel that mentions the “blood relations” of [the two of them] shows Touya and Yukito from behind. Touya and Yukito specifically in regular, modern clothes. 

And I completely lose it.

BECAUSE LIKE

THAT IS 100% THEIR CARDCAPTOR SAKURA VERSIONS IS IT NOT?!

AND LIKE OK.

OK OK OK

We’ve done this dance before.

Lava Lamp’s backstory was FULL of references that seemed to imply (on purpose) that Cardcaptor Sakura was the origin of his parents, with JUST enough small inconsistencies to show that that’s PROBABLY not actually who they are, YET THEY CONTINUED to tease it as the real answer.

And EVEN HERE they're doing it again. 

They show us a Touya and Yukito who 1 to 1 look like their Cardcaptor Sakura counterparts, in modern clothing - but FROM BEHIND, to add a little bit of doubt. The story is lining up all the pieces so that once again it looks like CCS Touya and Yukito gave Yuuko the Jam Jar - and that it's potentially CCS Sakura and Syaoran in the Jam Jar, who have never met Yuuko, but still turned back time, even if it meant “distancing themselves from their own children”. 

AND THEY EVEN SHOW YOU THEM, SAKURA AND SYAORAN as Lava Lamp’s parents BUT FROM A DISTANCE, SO YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY TELL FOR SURE EXACTLY IF THEY’RE WHO YOU THINK THEY ARE OR NOT. 

MORE - THEY SHOW US THE MAGIC CIRCLES. Sakura stands on Syaoran’s magic circle and Syaoran stands on CARDCAPTOR SAKURA’S MAGIC CIRCLE. And even though people argue with me over this I will stand by the fact that we have canonically only seen this magic circle for Cardcaptor Sakura at this point in the story. It is her UNIQUE magic circle she created on her own. That’s the only place we have seen it. 

And, yes! From a wider universe perspective it’s possible that Sakura’s Unique Magic Circle is Actually Not Unique and Other Sakura’s Also Have The Same Magic Circle, but we don’t know that yet. We've seen Xing Huo, for example, using the Reed magic circle. Which could be for many many reasons, but on the simplest level it's an example of Another Sakura using a magic circle that is Not the one implied to be unique to Cardcaptor Sakura.

And do I think Lava Lamp's mother is Cardcaptor Sakura? No!

But what we do know is that Clamp are having the TIME OF THEIR LIVES showing us glimpses of symbols and characters KNOWING That it all points directly towards Cardcaptor Sakura

 EVEN THOUGH IT COULDN’T REALISTICALLY BE HER. But with enough doubt in place for the thoughts of "OR COULD IT?" to be just as valid at this point.

EVERY PIECE OF THIS IS ON PURPOSE AND I AM GOING RABID OVER IT. 

AND JUST. Even though I know it’s most likely not actually them, is just genuinely so much fun to see them that I don’t even mind. 

Lie to me Clamp! Lead me to the wrong conclusion! I will have a fantastic time even if I don’t actually believe you. 

Also I am absolutely not receiving any comments that clarify who they are at this time thank you. 

[i-love-proselfshippers]

The biggest shoutouts to selfshippers with f/os who mostly have ship content made of them. If it’s hard to look for solo content of your f/o because everything is shipping, remember that you know them better than anyone else. You do not need to feel obligated to ship something or headcanon a character the same way that a lot of people do. They love you!!! Their love for you and your love for them is what matters the most. Do not ever allow other people’s opinions to sway you into abandoning a selfship that’s important to you.

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[heisttheblackflag]

thank you to everyone who’s been so nice and supportive about what happened w Platy’s stream, it’s really encouraging to know how many people agree that was a huge breach of privacy/boundaries. I am genuinely doing okay after a while of being angry and embarrassed and upset, but I did send Platy an email revealing myself as the author and asking him to not have that up as a video on his YouTube so. we’ll see what happens I guess. I’m still deciding whether or not to private All my rpf (I’ve already privated everything on the account in question weeks ago And changed the username today), but for now I’m hoping that just detagging everything, disabling comments, and keeping those fics private is enough. I am so so grateful that no one has sent me any harassment since the actual stream a week ago, but finding out about this definitely freaked me out lol. thank you though to everyone and especially Logan and Clay who have been supporting me and advocating for me; I will always go to bat defending fandom creatives and making sure the boundaries between fan works and the original creators stay where they should be, so it’s really humbling and encouraging to see people supporting me in the same way.

[positivelyghastly]

So I got a text from my mum saying she found a copy of the 2023 end of year metal hammer issue that she apparently got me and then forgot about lol. Anyway I already have a copy so if anyone wants it I’ll be happy to post it out as long as you pay postage, I’ll post anywhere. It’s not been opened (obviously) so it’s got all the freebies and stuff including the ghost button. If anyone wants to grab it just DM me and we can figure out postage. I’ll reblog this with an update if it gets snapped up

[starlooove]

Realizing the adultification and demonization of Duke and Damian is just. Not gonna stop. El oh el

[lady-grace-pens]

Hey writers

Has anyone else ever had this thing when they’ve been between projects for a while and haven’t been writing much, and they’re getting antsy for something new? And they have ideas they like, but they like. Literally just got them. Like a week ago. Or just yesterday.

And planning take a while. A lot of time and energy. You can’t really force it even though you try. So now you’re in this weird messed up grey area where you’re excited but absolutely terrified of starting something new. And you’re also being extra hard on yourself because you have to make it perfect, it has to click immediately, otherwise you feel useless simply resting and not being creative/productive. So you tend to obsess over planning to the point of anxiety, which only makes you stress out more and feeds this negative cycle. But you have passion for the ideas, you do, and you want to work on them. But you stress yourself out so easily because you’re so antsy and you haven’t had a project in a while.

Anyone else get that?

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

“hey so there’s been a bunch of exposures recently but we’re gonna have the volunteer party this week bc it’s outdoors so we’ll be fine. yeah it’s a bunch of people all talking maskless face to face in relatively close proximity but we’re outside so any transmission would of course be impossible” be so fucking for real

[moriphyte]

just debated a zionist at work i need a fuckin smoke

[pepprs]

currently.

[fowlblue]

Well, also no, this is ‘The Fowl Twins’-era, so Artemis is in his mid-to-late 20s at this point, Minerva married and had a kid with an elf, also becoming a crime boss, after briefly dating Artemis (it didn’t work out), Beckett married a ghost, and Myles sort of has superpowers. The idea of a being considering Artemis and Holly as parental figures is just funny — the discussion is mainly drawn out of how technically she meets the definition of offspring, the idea that Artemis wouldn’t realise until afterward being incredibly in-character for him, even if not the focus of the main plot (that being more things like a random immortal man, an evil nun, and a regular little person impersonating a fantasy dwarf for years).

. . . Okay.

Artemis, regardless of whether this is Fowl Twins-era or not, was still a child when he met Holly and was such for the vast majority of his ‘screen time’. Holly has always been an adult, knew him through his child and teen years, and thus shouldn’t really be shipped with him, because it’s an adult with a child that they knew as a child for the majority of that time. Like a former adult babysitter trying to hook up with someone they babysat when they were little once they become 18. Like… despite it not being an A/H thing, are you defending A/H to me now? I’ve expressed countless times that I don’t like it either way and that’s not what this discussion is about.

(Anon, the way you are explaining this to me makes it out as if I’ve never read TFT or it’s sequels- I’m aware of where everyone else ended up, and have spoken about it before. Do you know like… anything about my blog?)

I don’t care if NANNI ‘technically meets the definition of offspring’- I reiterate, by that logic she’s not ‘Artemis and Holly’s child’, but the child of like… four people. Seriously, the emphasis on A/H specifically makes it look shippy. If that’s the case, then just admit it, or at least acknowledge how it looks. I don’t give a flying flip whether or not you ship it, but it looks that way to everyone else, regardless of initial intent.

At the root of this, breaking it down entirely, I don’t think an A/H ‘parenting’ dynamic is funny. It’s weird. Therefore, the joke, while slightly amusing once, is no longer funny, the sheer volume of asks regarding it is weird (especially towards artists), and the whole thing is just… odd. Really odd.

[fingertipsmp3]

Hate when you finally find a copy of a book you’ve been searching for for ages and then as soon as you start it you’re like “actually I’m not in the mood to read this right now”

[sam-moss]

Just saw a mutual on Twitter selling what looks like their entire SKZ photocard collection. So many complete sets. One might think “We evolve and change, it happens” but I feel like I watched the joy they found in SKZ be ripped from them in real time, so seeing this final chapter was absolutely heartbreaking.

(warning: long half-vent half-story)

It has been WAR over there for Stayville. There was a single released that was produced by zionists (with a debatable amount of SKZ creative involvement) which caused a movement of Stays boycotting the song. This decision tore the fandom in HALF. You’d think that everyone would be on the same page, right? It’s not like this is the first time we’ve boycotted a song with zionist ties! But later it was realized that this was different for too many reasons to list here. Basically some people thought that if you promoted boycotting the song you were calling all of the members of SKZ zionists, you were virtue-signaling for attention, and you were never a fan, you’ve hated SKZ the whole time and you’ve just been waiting for the chance to jump on them and ruin their reputation. And this is all in the heat of the college campus protests were happening.

And then things got PERSONAL. An account said that boycotters should black ocean if SKZ ever performs the song (I’ll shorten to LMB). Another account saw that and said “I’m going to knock out anyone who doesn’t have their lightstick up during LMB” and a big account replied in support. Boycotters said to block and report the accounts. That big (antiboycott) account did NOT like that and said that boycotters were worse. Started getting REAL personal about those account. Flooded a ton of boycotter accounts, big and small, with hate. Every day it was getting worse, accusations and threads thrown everywhere.

One account of the accounts affected was my mutual. Their account was pretty big, big enough for me to be surprised and excited when they followed me back. But they would like my posts, and we DM’d sometimes but not enough to get really close.

This fanwar affected for her mental health in such an extreme way that it affected their real life. They were in such a low place. Then I found out they deactivated. That was devastating, but you hope it’s for the better. Then I found out that another account (much closer to them than me) received a text from a stranger that they were in the hospital.

After a few days that account said wouldn’t update further on the other’s condition.

Yesterday, my mutual reactivated their account and came back with words of hope. So many people showed love and support while they were gone and the same outpouring occurred at their return. It feels like it’s been forever since this all started but it might’ve been a just a month or two that this whole situation has gone down.

Today they posted what looks like their entire SKZ photocard collection up for sale.

The heartbreak hidden the context absolutely knocked me down. I can feel it thru the screen. I hope this decision is what is best for them. I can’t imagine what they’ve been thru since they’ve been gone, but I hope they’re able to move forward.

It’s so ridiculous that so many are willing to be so cruel over a dumb little song produced by zionists. Moral of the story, touch grass. Evil is over-represented in online spaces. Not only that, but don’t be the evil. Be kind. Not because the other person may be going thru a lot, be kind because that’s how you’re supposed treat people.

[yanderenightmare]

TW: angst, toxic traits, somewhat bullying, breakup

fem reader

You’re his first girlfriend. He’d never bothered with anything serious before—it seemed too messy to trifle with. He doesn’t know why he suddenly decided. Suppose he’d been feeling a little bored, and something within him saw you as a fool-proof opportunity.

It wasn’t because you were anything special. Actually, it was more the opposite. You didn’t seem like too big of a risk. You were just a normal, honest, nice person—a bit of a loser, too, if he was being honest. He could do a lot better and pick someone of the same caliber as him, someone with a cooler style and presence, but then he’d only get caught up in the competition.

You were more to his appetite—a dorky, blushy lil’ nerd who giggled nervously at everything he said. In other words, no competition at all. You’d never dare break his heart because you frankly couldn’t afford it. And he found solace in that imbalance—knowing he held all the cards and that you could only be grateful he’d chosen you.

At least, that had been what he’d thought. But then, here you are, holding his hands from across the table in a cute little sundae café, telling him how this just can’t work anymore.

He’s confused for a whole minute before it sinks in.

You’re breaking up with him.

He’s confused afterward, too.

You’re breaking up with him?

That can’t be right. You must be joking. He almost laughs, almost cackles, but ends up staying completely silent. Something about that pitiful look in your eye makes his throat tight, and he almost thinks he’s going to cry instead. 

You’re breaking up with him. You, with him. His foot starts to tap. Have you hit your head or something? You’re dressed in a hoodie, for crying out loud, with not an ounce of make-up on—effortless, as if his perception of you wasn’t any of your concern while you’re fucking breaking up with him.

No way. There’s just no way. You must be confused about something, is all. There’s absolutely no way you’re doing this.

“What are you talking about?” It comes angry. Louder than he’d intended, enough to make you jolt in your seat. A couple of heads even turn your way. You wait for them to turn back before answering.

“I just think we’re a bit too different. And… I don’t know…” You were trying to find ways of telling him you weren’t in love with him but ended up deciding it was unnecessary—it wasn’t exactly something he needed to hear even though you had a lot you could say.

You’re rude and arrogant and treat me like some rescue pet you’ve nurtured back to health. You act like you’re embarrassed to be with me even though you’re the one without any friends. You’re selfish and spoiled and—

“If you don’t know, then there’s nothing to talk about. Quit being silly.” He has a furrow between his brows as he picks up the pink menu between the two of you, scanning the different types of milkshakes you could share and forget all about it. After all, you weren’t breaking up with him—that would just be absurd. “Let’s get strawberry.”

“No—”

“Guess we could get mango if you want that instead—”

“I’m not sharing drinks with you—”

“What? You tryna lose weight or something? Not like anyone but me is gonna see you when all you wear are those baggy hoodies all the time. Speaking of which, you should wear mine instead, they’d suit you better—”

“Listen.” You stop his rambling. “I’m not sharing drinks, and I’m not wearing your clothes. I’m not being silly, either. I’m being serious. It’s over—”

“No, it’s not.” His fist bangs against the table—the look in his eye on edge and twitchy. “I asked you why, and you had no good reason—so it’s not, not until you convince me.”

You had wanted to avoid it, but it seems he wouldn’t allow you the grace to spare him. That being said, you hadn’t meant to be so brutally honest…

“You’re a narcissist. You don’t treat me like a girlfriend. I’m more like a charity case or some type of experiment to you. Half the time, it feels as though you’re just playing a game with everyone in your life like pawns for you to shuffle around the board as you see fit.” You’re the one with the furrowed brows now, unable to bite your tongue as you’d kept it in all this time. “I think you should seek help and get your controlling tendencies straightened out before having any type of relationship. Or don’t. In any case, I don’t think I’m the right girl for you.”

There’s a silence. The chatter of the café seems distant. You feel half inclined to apologize as you look at him and stare down the glassy tabletop as if trying to find his reflection for comfort—but then he beats you to the punch.

“You’re right…” he starts softly, mustering the words, and you’re almost proud to see him take it so well, but then there’s a viscousness to his next words. “You’re not the right girl for me.”

When he looks up again, his face is warped—callous and seemingly disgusted by the sight of you. Something about it even seems to lash out at you, seeking revenge.

“I can’t believe I thought I saw something in you,” he sighs. “Turns out you’re exactly what everyone warned me you would be—just a plane-boring old Jane. What a joke—wasting so much time on something so worthless. Forget breaking up with me, I should have broken up with you a long time ago.”

He gets up in a rush and bears over the table, both palms laid flat upon the surface.

“Charity case?” he seethes, then conjures a fake laugh and an even faker grin. “I couldn’t have put it better myself. Enjoy sitting here alone like the loser you are.”

And even though you’re the one watching him walk away while ordering a chocolate sundae for yourself, you can’t help but feel sorry for the poor guy… 

That had been the most emotion you’d ever witnessed come from him.

Obviously, he doesn’t take it very well, stumbling through the café before bursting out the door, but even he’s surprised by how disheveled it had made him. He’s hyperventilating when the fresh air hits him, almost sprinting to his car so that he can lock himself inside it.

But the car only makes it worse as he’s far from alone in there. You’re everywhere. On the hood, waiting for him with a smile. In the rearview mirror, waving at him. In the seat next to him with a pout, asking if you can stay over. In the backseat, naked with a coy twinkle in your eye.

He knows! He has some of your underwear at home—he’ll threaten to pass them around campus unless you beg him to take you back. No, what’s he thinking!? You’ll never come back to him that way. Fuck, what can he do, what’s he supposed to do!? He just called you worthless—what that fuck was he thinking?!

The tears startle him as they drip down and splash upon his whitening knuckles, where he grips the wheel for dear life even as the car stays completely still—safe and sound in the same plot.

There’s a light pink lip balm on the dash. Yours. You must have left it there—maybe on purpose? No… you don’t play games like that. You’d been honest in the café. The fact terrifies him—his heart seems to want to reject it at all costs, the way it tears in his chest.

He picks the slim pink stick up and rolls it around in his hand, which can’t seem to stop shaking. You’d sat on his lap in this very seat, laughing at something dumb he’d said while applying the very same balm on his lip—kissing his forehead while saying something sweet. He knows it wasn’t, but he imagines you’d whispered that you loved him.

When he smears the balm around his lips this time, he imagines kissing you and your soft lips and that everpresent smile he never bothered telling you was pretty.

He’s such an idiot. The birds in the parking lot take flight at the jostling of his car, but no one hears the roar.

And as he sits there in the following silence, wallowing in his own self-pity and regret, he can’t help but feel like the lead of some angsty teen romance.

And like the lead in an angsty teen romance, he swears… whatever it takes… he will win you back.

You will be his again.

♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Gojo, Naoya, some young type of Sukuna, or Toji ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Oikawa, Sakusa, Miya twins ♡ BLLK – Reo ♡ AOT – Eren

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[saudadeko]

ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:

1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.

2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? Buy it, you need it. It doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.

3) Expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).

4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!

5) If there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-”, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.

6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going “Ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. Don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.

7) If you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, “Put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus it’s a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.

8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.

9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.

10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. Now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.

11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.

12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. It’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. You’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.

13) Don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. If it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.

Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo ✌️🩵

[irndad]

won't you be my sunshine-a.h.

a/n: runner!hotch x sunshine!reader !! sooooo fluffy, first hotch fic of mine so be gentle with me! lots of pining and happy end <3 happy to continue with these two in an au!

Aaron Hotchner is not a particularly emotive man. 

This is a skill he has honed, a cherished quality that was not born of luck or of natural ability, but a skill that he has honed down to a fine tip point. He needs to be, in this job. It’s cost him things, of course, but for the most part, Aaron is happy with his choices. He takes a firm line with people he works with, and does not always let up in his personal life.

The only time this sometimes causes a hitch, is in his romantic life.

Which isn’t to say that he has one. 

There is a woman who reads in the park every morning. Aaron affectionately thinks of this bench as her bench, as it is marked by wisterias and hyacinths on either end of it. It’s something of a ritual, after his runs, that they talk. 

It’s fun. He doesn’t have a lot of space for fun. He’d collapsed on the bench one day after siphoning his anger at a particular case into a difficult run. He’d crashed onto the bench, sweaty and exhausted and hadn’t even seen her there. Which is a bit impressive, as she’s hard to miss the sight of. It is also in equal measure embarrassing. It’s not every day you collapse in front of a gorgeous woman, disturbing her from what is likely a lovely afternoon in the park.

That’s how it started, anyway. She doesn’t run, so each break is punctuated by her company. He’s actually not sure if they’re flirting. He’s not very good at that- the last time he has to he was 17 and so full of unearned confidence, he lucked into a partnership. 

Now, he’s a bit older and a lot more scarred. She’s younger than him, not by much. She laughs with her whole chest at his dry, glib humor- and this is something Aaron had forgotten. The joy of a beautiful, wonderful woman’s company beside you. 

He feels a little out of place next to her. Romance is not something he does. Ever thought he’d do again, really. That’s not to say that this is romance. Their romance is almost entirely hypothetical. He thinks of her at work, which is a monumental development in and of itself. 

“So, how was the paperwork? I know you’ve been taking a little more on since your colleague had a baby. It’s so kind of you to do it.” She asks him on a beautiful August morning. 

He fights off a blush that she remembers what he’s done for JJ. He’s not big on mentioning his own good deeds. Aaron believes that this would cancel it out. Still, her praise is a warm balm to the exhaustion that plagues him. It’s hedonistic, the way he wants her to say more about him. He wonders absentmindedly if she knew everything about him that’s hard to love, she’d still paint him with such a light and warm glance. She’s bright enough, he’s tempted to tell her everything about him just because she asks. 

“It was…alright. My team is excellent. I’m lucky to work with people like them, it makes the process better. I couldn’t ask for more.”

She giggles a little at this, and there’s that roar of affection. 

He feels a sense of ease around her, one that is suspicious for him. He tries not to romanticize, but this connection is hard not to. She’s beautiful- this is obvious to anyone who meets her, a simple truth of her. But Aaron is trained to notice things little factors that show the truth of someone. 

He likes to watch her- it’s a pleasant thing, getting to be in her presence. It’s a little addicting, the way she looks at him. It makes him feel like all of the things he knows to be true of himself- his relative failures, the closed-off nature of his demeanor- are things that not only can be overlooked, but don’t seem to be in her line of sight at all. It’s an honor, to have her doe eyes rake over the sight of him, to meet him with gentle conversation. 

He tries not to notice that she is gorgeous. Aaron has been around beautiful women, of course- this is not something that should surprise him. But there’s something effervescent about her, something that his him wondering if it’s possible that she might feel the same way about him. He knows that he used to be a more attractive man, but now. Well, he’s a bit bruised, both metaphorically and physically. 

It feels odd to even think of this happening. She’s just got a warm, sweet tone and he replays what it’s like when she greets him. She smiles her brilliant grin and sometimes hugs him. It’s embarrassing how much he likes the feeling of it- soft curves against hard muscle and scarred skin. She always smells wonderful, and he wonders how nice it would be to have more of this. 

“I like your new shirt, by the way.” She smiles at him, and his heart jumps. It feels juvenile, but- she’s wearing a new lipstick, it seems. Her beautiful pout looks awfully tempting. 

“I like the lip color,” he tries to compliment back amenably, but that doesn’t stick. Instead, it comes out too earnest. He’s hyper aware of the fact that she’s right by him. She flushes, and Aaron feels a surge of pride. 

“Thank you,” she says, voice softer and flattered, and isn’t that a pretty sound? He’d love to do that for her, make her feel seen, make her feel like she’s as beautiful as she is, “I thought you might like it.”

It’s her directiveness that breaks the seal, he supposes looking back. Because she wore the lipstick for him. That’s just about the only thing it can mean, and he is struck with a particularly sensory fantasy of what it would be like to slot his mouth against hers- he gets the feeling it might be worth it even if he gets the color on his mouth. 

He’s a gentleman, though, he decides after a decidedly ungentlemanly amount of time spend staring at the gorgeous curve of her lips. 

“Would you want to get dinner with me?” He hears himself say it before he’s processed it, and then it’s out into the world. His heart is hammering and he’s blaming on the run, when god, it’s absolutely about how breathtaking she looks, the sunlight reflecting off her hair like a halo. When she beams back at him, she looks particularly angelic. 

It’s then, she leans over and kisses him on the cheek. 

“I thought you’d never ask.”

(Months later, when she is sitting on his kitchen counter and he is standing between her legs, gazing down at her with unabated fondness because he is entitled to that, he reflects on this moment and thinks god, how lucky am I, that I ran past that bench?)