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msookyspooky · 1 year

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Fours a Franchise

Part 8

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You sat in the back of Kirby's car with Randy in the passenger seat and Kirby driving. Going to the police station so Perkin's and Hoss could drop off the woman that attacked you at the school and then Kirby was dropping you all off at your houses.

Kirby finally broke the silence. "So uh, kind of cool we got out after lunch today. I mean, the reasons not, but still. Just saying." She gave with a slight cringe.

Randy sighed with a light shrug. "Hey, we were excited too…Before the Final Act, at least."

Jill looked apprehensively at you and then Randy. "You think the killers might strike tonight?"

"For sure. Absolutely. " You and Randy both said in unison just a different word with the same damn meaning.

Randy continued. "It's just standard at this point. Big group of kids, party place in the middle of nowhere, drinking and breaking the rules just to be offed one by one with no one even paying attention because either they're too drunk or too busy screwing-"

"Or-" You held up a finger; finishing his sentence for him. "They'll think someone getting stabbed to death is a part of a prank…Maureen Evans. Premiere of Stab 1998."

Randy nodded and snapped his finger towards you. "Yep. No one even helped her. They all thought it was part of the immersive experience of Stab."

Jill gave a shake of her head and a grimace. "Wow, that's awful."

Kirby chimed in looking more interested than shocked. "Oh yeah! They totally should have used that in Stab 3's intro kill."

"Legal issues." Randy was just as casual about it as she was as he told her.

Kirby looked over at him. "Wait, didn't you work in the film industry? You mentioned it one day...I think when I was getting The Human Centipede last month. "

Jill glared at her. "Don't ever make me watch that again. Seriously. Something is wrong with you."

Kirby just snickered to herself as Randy gave a shrug once again. "Eh, just tech. My first movie was Stab 3 directed by none other than Roman Bridger." He gave with a wag of his brows and a tight lipped smile.

Kirby hissed out. "Oh, shit. But never again?"

"No, wasn't really qualified-"

You interrupted him after rolling your eyes. "Randy went to college for a Film Major he refuses to use." You gave him a look from the backseat.

"What?" Kirby laughed out as she drove. "No way, that's epic! But uh…Why not go be the next Sam Raimi? Shit, if someone can make Human Centipede then any of us can make it in the Industry. "

"Because it's a pointless little idea, Kirby."

Kirby scoffed. "No it isn't! You don't even have to go to Hollywood if you don't want to. You can use your film major in a more…Entrepreneur way."

Randy raised his brows. "...What?"

Kirby stopped at a stop sign a bit heavy on the brakes. "I mean, Jenna Marbles can cut up soap for Kermit and people love it!"

Randy and you blinked a bit at her; having zero idea what she was talking about.

Jill explained. "Anyone can be famous now. You just make people laugh or cry or be interesting."

Randy cringed slightly and mumbled. "I don't really want the fame part. We get enough of that." You looked at the mirror at your cheek as a reminder of how 'famous' you all are.

Kirby quickly added. "But you could use Youtube to get attention and then money. It would be easier to get a job in Hollywood that way if you do decide to go that route. You could make a podcast or a youtube channel dedicated to nothing but movies." Kirby added with a smirk. "I know if you created a podcast talking about Horror movies; I'd give it a listen and so would all those kids in Cinema Club today."

Randy gave her a skeptical smile with a sigh. "Kirby, I don't know the first thing about that. I'll look like a putz."

She shrugged with a huff. "I could teach you; No problem. If I can teach my Grandma how to use her new smartphone to play Angry Birds; you'll be fine."

Randy chuckled. "So the Student has become the Master, huh?"

Kirby grinned and pointed at him. "Karate Kid. Not one of my favorites, though still. Classic."

Randy grinned, leaning in his seat. "I know, nothing beats horror, right?"

"Nah. Absolutely nothing." Kirby gave a serious expression before looking at Jill. "I mean, me and Jill spend our weekends watching Shaun of the Dead, The Devil's Rejects, Slither, Jennifer's Body."

Jill waved her off with a chuckle. "Yeah I'm not nearly as much of a horror geek as you are…What was the one we watched the other day with Christina Ricci? With the-"

Jill didn't even finish her sentence as Kirby snapped her fingers and she asked. "Werewolves?" Before her and Randy said in unison. "Cursed."

Randy shrugged. "But best werewolf movie ever-"

Kirby grinned and finished for him. "An American Werewolf in London."

Randy nodded with a grin. "Hell yes!"

Jill sighed and whispered to you. "Oh God, be prepared. They'll talk about Horror Movies for the entire ride…One day, we stayed an extra hour at the store because they both argued on zombie movies and both of them wouldn't back down. Return of the Living Dead versus the Remake of Night of the Living Dead." She gave you a raise of her brows.

You smirked slightly and commented at their almost older brother little sister dynamic. "You two seem like two peas in a pod."

Randy looked back at you almost forgetting you. "Huh? Oh yeah, Kirby comes in all the time to the video store. Been trying to hire her for years because she's one of the only teens around here that actually knows what she's talking about."

She gave a sly grin. "I like to keep a low profile. I have an image. Besides, I love the surprise on peoples faces…If I worked at the video store, the fun would totally just fizzle out."

Jill mumbled teasingly. "Yeah and you'd probably eventually embarrass yourself in front of the guy you like there-" Jill nudged Kirby with her knee.

"I do not." Kirby huffed out with an eye roll. Couldn't tell if she was embarrassed and playing it off or if she was being honest, calm and just annoyed at her friends pestering.

Randy shrugged with a smirk. "Who? Charlie? He hasn't been in there much."

"No, there is no 'guy'. Besides, Charlie and Robbie are big on this internet thing including pirating movies. I mean, look. I'm not the feds or anything but you cannot beat physical media when you can get it." You all pulled into the police station as her and Randy excitedly went back and forth about physical media, horror, etc..

Jill leaned forward towards you as she saw the woman being dragged into the police station by Hoss. "God…I'm sorry you went through that."

You gave a sad smile and whispered back, Randy and Kirby oblivious in their own conversation as you talked. "Thanks but I've gotten used to it." You felt your phone vibrate with a text and ignored it.

"How? How do you handle it? The police monitoring you, the whispers and stares, the fear?" She asked softly.

You thought a moment before leaning in your seat, telling her. "...Uh what I do…Is I try not to think about it." You simply told her. Looking at her earnestly. "I remember I'm lucky to be alive. That I know the truth and that my loved ones know the truth and that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." You reasoned even if it wasn't nearly as honest as you wish it was. "The rest works out on its own."

Jill nodded before Kirby put the car back in gear once Hoss returned to the squad car. "Alright, let's get this show on the road, folks! Gotta a party tonight."

Both Randy and your faces dropped as you asked her. "Kirby, why? Are you seriously going to Stab-a-thon tonight?"

She laughed good naturally. "Well, yeah. I've gone every year. Can't miss it."

Randy gave her a look. "I can respect the love of horror and a good time but Kirby…It's clearly the final act!"

You added. "And you're part of Jill's group. Do you want to have happen to you what happened to our friends? You wanna test your luck and be the new Sidney and Tatum?" You grimaced as you looked at Jill. "Sorry."

Jill looked perplexed but also slightly offended. "You think…I'm the new Sidney?"

Kirby added before you could finish. "Well, by what they did, I'm clearly not Tatum. And besides, Olivia would understand. She'd want me to be around people."

You ignored Kirby and hesitated before nodding with a frown to Jill. "Look…Clearly someone is after your group and we kind of think you're the main focus." Jill looked frightened, putting a hand over her mouth as you reached out to her to reassure her. "I swear though, we are not gonna let this guy be the new Billy or Stu."

Kirby huffed out. "Like Trevor? I can see that."

Randy gave a shaky 'iffy' hand gesture. "I mean, it would fit in with the trope if this were a remake. It is not…You know who I think it is? If we follow all the franchise rules and weed out suspects?"

You quirked a brow. "Who?"

Randy went to speak but relented. "Well…Shit, nevermind. I can't say." He gestured to the girls and Jill gave him an unamused frown and Kirby chuckled.

"God, just say it! Is it someone in our friend group? Trevor, me, J-" Kirby urged.

"Charlie."

Everyone's face dropped. Jill and Kirby both kind of laughed out loud at that. Kirby exclaimed with a grin. "What? No way. Charlie wouldn't hurt a fly, he's harmless! A creep, social reject, future neckbeard but harmless."

Randy gave her a deathly serious look as she pulled onto the street where Jill and Randy lived. "I'm serious, Kirby. I try to relent pointing fingers at film geeks because then me and you would be suspects too."

Kirby gave him a devilish look. "Maybe I am? I'm going because I'm the killer oooo." She gave mockingly.

"But guess what?" He added. "I suspected Mickey and dropped it because 'Hey! Liking Cinema isn't a crime! I do that too!' and look how that turned out. I'm telling you, just watch your back with Charlie. With any of your friends…Even with each other." Randy gave Kirby a look then Jill. Turning to Jill and saying. "Everyone is a suspect."

Jill and Kirby both gave him a wide eyed stare.

You chimed in. "Kirby, I just wish you would reconsider."

Kirby stepped out of the car and you all opened your doors as well as she said with a smirk. "And miss out on free booze, blood and horror? No way. Just don't tell Danny Glover and Mel Gibson where I'm going, alright?"

Randy raised a playful brow. "Well that's a generous comparison. Remind me to ask you for my celebrity look alike."

You grinned to yourself and he pointed at you before you said anything. Knowing he fell right into that one. "Shut up. Damn, the guy and I had the same hair for a hot minute and he almost got the role for me in Stab and he plays dorky guys and you THINK we're both the same short ass height and you haven't shutted up since."

"Oh you mean Seth Green? That was my choice too." Kirby added with a smirk.

He gave her an annoyed look as you and her both tried to hold back laughter. He glared at you both. "Okay. Screw both of you. You both officially suck." He stepped out and so did you as you and Jill chuckled to each other as Kirby tried talking to him again.

The sun was slowly starting to set. The Autumn hours kicking in as the days were growing shorter.

Jill smiled and looked at you. You had to ask her. "...Are you going to Stab-a-Thon?"

She lost her smile and rolled her eyes lightly. "No. My Mom would kill me. Besides, Sheriff Dewey would have a chaperone with me all night. My room is like a prison cell now."

You gave her a sad smile. "Hey, I get it. It sucks. Been there, done that... But it's for the best."

She nodded to herself before asking you. "Can I ask…What was my cousin Sidney like?"

You blinked realizing she never met Sidney. She was only 2 or 3 when Sidney died. You thought a moment before telling her with a fond smile. "Sidney was kind…She was so kind. Brave. Empathetic. Strong willed. She was the mom friend of our group…Lectured us like one too."

"What was it like, you know, knowing while Billy and Stu were your friends; they were plotting to kill you?"

"Not comforting." You cringed lightly before sighing. "It was…It made me develop some trust issues that got worse after college and then after our last round of kills. To think while we were talking about school and 90's bands and teen stuff; they were plotting everyone's murder and we didn't mean anything to them. It sucked."

Jill fiddled with her necklace with a worried frown. "You think someone close to me is trying to kill me?"

"...Yes." You looked at Randy and Kirby talking while Kirby leaned against her car before you looked back at Jill. "Please, try to get Kirby to reconsider."

"Good luck." She muttered with an annoyed eye roll.

"Well…Then keep her and everyone else at distance. Everyone."

She looked shocked at that. "But Kirby-"

You shhed her and whispered. "Jill…You think Sidney or I expected Billy? That any of us did? You think Tatum or Randy or me expected Stu?... Kirby going is suspicious, Charlie and Robbie hosting it is suspicious-"

"And Trevor? My ex?" She softly asked.

You frowned deeply but nodded. "Very suspicious." You hesitated before giving a reassuring smile. "...Just be careful, stay home, and stay safe…Okay?"

She sighed but nodded with a forced smile. "Okay…I can see why Sidney was friends with you. If-" She chuckled in between her sentences. "If she was the Mom of the friend group, maybe you were that cool aunt you go to for advice?"

You smirked. "No, that was Tatum. For sure. The fashionable, feisty, fun, protective aunt."

Jill frowned. "...That could be Kirby but…I think Olivia was our Tatum too." She frowned, glancing at Olivia's house.

You frowned too, guilt eating at you that maybe if you would have tried to shoot at the window or if you would have been there a few seconds sooner; she could've made it. You gently nudged her with a sad smile. "Hey, we're across the street and if not us then Perkin's and Hoss are right there."

Jill nodded and waved goodbye, walking to her house as Kirby got in her car and you and Randy went to his house across the street.

Randy triple locked the front door behind you both and you both checked every single possible hiding spot in that house before finally settling down. You sat on the couch and Randy on the chair, tired beyond belief. You looked at your phone and saw a vague text about 'oil changes' from your 'mechanic'.

Randy sighed and told you. "Mind if I call Karla and the kids before it gets too late?"

You smiled and shook your head. "Not at all."

He called and once he started talking, you walked to the 'bathroom' until you saw he was looking away talking. You heard him tell her he missed her and asking about her family before you darted down the hall and to the kids room. As far away as possible as you sucked in a breath and called them.

"...YN? Took you long enough." Billy's voice huffed out.

"Is that Sweetcheeks? Man, put it on speaker phone-" Stu's voice sounded in the background as you lightly rolled your eyes.

"Yeah well, I was a little busy alright?" You retorted.

"So were we. We got a new location to look at-"

"The Barn on Fort Dillion Road?" You asked.

You just KNEW Billy was scowling at you beating him to it. "How do you know that?"

"Highschoolers."

Stu got on and chuckled. "What a coincidence, same here! All you gotta do is offer the tiniest bit of weed in a baggy and these dumbass kids start talking." Stu laughed out.

"So you're selling kids pot now?"

Stu chuckled. "Oh no, has my wonderful image been tarnished in your eyes?" He seemed tickled to say it, giggling like a little kid.

Billy sighed. "It was fucking oregano that we found in the kitchen of this motel. We saw it and instantly knew what to do with it."

"That's awful. You swindled that kid with herbs?" You chuckled with a smirk at the imagery that some kid's house was gonna smell like a pizzeria instead of pot.

To your surprise, you could hear the humor in Billy's voice. "Oh yeah, giving a dipshit kid oregano instead of pot. Truly worse than murder."

You smirked at the joke before reality set in and you paced the room, looking at the kids' stuff with a frown. "...I'm not going to the party. Neither is Randy."

"Well that's a relief…Maybe even surprising. Could have sworn you'd be stupid enough to go."

You almost tried to dig deep inside to find some shitty remark but relented as you sat on one of the kids beds and mumbled. "It would be suicide to go. Besides, I have had enough attempts on my life from people without masks…"

"What does that mean?" Billy asked.

"Nothing. Just…Bullshit." You drew out with a sigh.

Stu chimed in. "Anyways, we wanted to call not only so you would know where the parties at but also wouldn't go, okay YN?"

You nod as if they're there. You then raised a brow and slowly drew out "Yeah, sure…Curious…What exactly are you two going to do with this info?"

"Easy. Gonna go crash a party. Kill the fucker right there." Stu gave nonchalantly.

Your mouth parted. "What??"...You stood up, a shocked look on your face. "Are you crazy?! Don't answer that just-" You closed your eyes and sucked in a breath to stop yourself. "You can't go to this party, okay-"

Billy sounded annoyed as he replied. "You want this to end or not?"

"Of course I do! But you don't think two original murderers going to a Stab movie with a bunch of fans from their hometown isn't suspicious?! You don't think cops won't be there eventually?!" You hiss out so low they probably barely heard you.

Stu puffed air. "Relax! None of those kids are even going to notice us and we'll split before the po-po even gets there."

You shake your head. "It's not JUST that, idiots! We don't need to be splitting up and going rogue, okay?! I have enough of that with Gale and Dewey on edge constantly going in different directions instead of helping each other out. I don't need you two doing something stupid!"

"Aww." Stu drew out and you glared at the wall knowing he had a shit eating grin on his face as he dismissed your concern. "Someone cares about us and if we're safe. That's so adorable, man." He teased sarcastically

You rolled your eyes and thought. 'It's been 10 years Stu; give it a break.'

Before you gritted your teeth. "OR this someone's entire life will be ruined if you two are caught; dead or alive!"

"You think we're idiots? We're not new to this. You just keep your ass at Randy's on Walnut Drive at that little gray house and we'll do what we do best. Kill."

Your mouth stretched in outrage. "How did you-"

Billy gave a bit of a dark chuckle. "I told you, we aren't new to this…Just do us a damn favor and stay home. I don't need to babysit you while ripping this guy's liver out."

"Damn it, both of you don't!" You said urgently as the other line was quiet for a second. "Just don't go to that party tonight, okay? Let this idiot show themselves then get them. Hell, if you're ballsy enough you can watch this house from afar and wait till they inevitably strike but that party is a suicide mission if you go! And guess what? What's gonna happen if that killer doesn't show up there OR he does and you two get caught?"

…

Billy spoke up finally. "...You really feel that strongly about it?"

"Yes!"

He released a heavy sigh and then huffed out. "Okay…Fine but if we get news of a kill tonight-"

"Then come here. Because the killer always follows the Final Girl after the party has ended…Just hide yourself from Randy."

"No shit...Alright. Okay just stay put then."

"Okay." You simply gave. Billy hung up and you sighed out of mild relief even if a part of you didn't believe them.

While you had your phone call, Randy had his.

Randy smiled while looking down after talking to Mindy and Chad. "Be good, alright? Okay…Love you both…" He quietly knew that with this new killer, anyone could be hit. He swallowed and told them. "...I want you both to know I'm proud of you and I love you both more than anything. I miss you rugrats annoying me here at the house and 'll see you both soon, alright? Okay put your Mommy on the phone." Randy frowned, swallowing at his eyes stinging a bit imagining the worst before he shook his head and whispered to himself. "Stop it. Be the man here. Just follow the rules and everything will be fine."

He heard Karla back on and his smile returned. She asked him. "...They found anything?"

"No, nothing. But don't worry, there's a party tonight and me and YN aren't going. If Jill Robert's is the new Sidney Prescott then let them keep that shit across the road or over at the barn they're hosting at."

She sighed heavily, talking quietly. "I really wish you would just get out of there."

"...Maybe if the cops are busy at that barn where we know a murder is gonna happen then me and YN can haul ass out of here?" He glanced through the window at Jill's house. "Us being neighbors to the new final girl IF that's what she is and being the original survivors? It's just a recipe for disaster."

"Tell Dewey he's not invited to any events at this point."

Randy smiled at his wife's remark…Before whispering to her on the phone. "...Just stay safe on your end too. Some horror movies have had the killer travel just to kill someone close to the guy that he really wants. And you're definitely top 3 for me. Don't ask me the order because I could never decide between the twins."

She sighed with a slight chuckle before telling him. "I love you baby. Just…Get your ass here as soon as possible."

He smiled to himself. "Love you too. I'll damn well try."

He knew that probably wasn't happening but if it eased her a bit. He went to say something else when he saw Dewey was ringing him. "Karla, Dewey's calling-" She told him bye and to just call her tomorrow. He answered and Dewey just RANTED so fast Randy blinked repeatedly.

"Randy, I gotta tell you something. It's real important that YN isn't in the room."

Randy gave an odd look."...What?"

"Is she?"

He looked around the corner to see you pacing the kids room on the phone yourself. He told him. "No??? What the hell-"

"Are you sure? I'm serious Randy…I think…I think YN is in danger but she can't hear this."

Randy furrowed his brows and nodded. "Yeah, honest. She's on the phone in another room."

"With who?" He urgently demanded and Randy shrugged his shoulders with a disgruntled look.

"How the hell should I know? She's on the phone."

Dewey sucked in a breath and Randy could just tell how nervous and wound up he was. Randy grunted with a scowl. "Dewey, just spit it out-"

"I think Billy and Stu are alive!"

….

Randy was dead silent for a good 5 seconds before muttering. "...What the ever loving fuck are you even talking about???"

Dewey urgently hissed out. "Look! I know how crazy it sounds but I can't deny it anymore! Never finding their remains in the fire just like Neil Prescott, the door kicked out from the inside, tire tracks in the woods matching Billy Loomis's Camaro, Tim and James matching the description of Billy and Stu despite the hair-"

Randy closed his eyes and looked beyond annoyed. "Woah, woah, woah. Fucking BREATHE Dew."

"Randy, I've been sitting on this for a decade and after last night there's no denying it! Something isn't right here!"

"What?? Damn Dewey, start making sense! Whaddya mean by a decade of this info you're hurling at me?!"

Dewey took a shaky sigh…A very pained and shaky sigh that sounded almost heavy. "...YN…YN is lying to us…I…I…" He acted like he couldn't get it out. "...I found a photo on the crime scene of the motel room Neil was spying on her a decade ago. I pocketed it because I was trying to protect her from the media but…I wasn't sure. But…In that photo…Randy it's insane!... But it looks like Billy and Stu in her motel."

Randy stared at the wall…Beyond unsure WHAT to say other than. "You're for sure, huh?"

"Well…Not entirely. "

Randy rolled his eyes and smacked his knee as he sat down and hissed out low so you couldn't hear. "Insane is the word of the night. Oh my God, are you serious? Jesus Christ, you've been around your wife and her bullshit too long!"

Randy struck a nerve with that one as Dewey grumbled. "Gale has nothing to do with this!"

"Fine, then you're acting like her then. You actually believe those bullshit theories? Okay, YN got attacked today-"

"What?"

"You didn't know? Some parents tried to attack her at the Highschool today."

"Oh God…Why?-...You were at the school?"

Randy pinched his nose bridge. "Aaannddd this is the basic rundown of every horror movie in every small town ever made. Starting with the clueless Sheriff." He released his nose bridge and huffed under his breath. "Okay. Explain WHY you think you saw what you saw in this so called photo?"

He stammered. "Y-You think I want to ever in a million years think this of YN?! I don't but…I found the photo of those two guys in her motel room as she was walking out. All of them talking inside. She swore she was alone!"

"Two guys? You're for real right now? There's a picture of her sneaking two guys in her room?" Randy couldn't help snickering to himself. "Ooh really? That dirty slut!" He joked with a mischievous chuckle and with almost a hint of approval. "Damn so she had two guys there? Plus that Detective after her? Jesus, I'm almost jealous…Not that I swing that way but hey. Good for her for being a player."

"I'm serious Randy! She lied!"

"So???" Randy huffed out with a mocking look as switched the phone to his other hand. "Of course she did! What was she supposed to tell us? That she was having two guys sleep in her bed, mind you, to her former ex slash best guy friend and a guy that's like a big brother to her?" He shrugged. "I mean, the timing was bad and stupid of her and they COULD have been potential killers but they weren't. Case closed…Ohohohooo, I can't wait to use this as-"

"NO." Dewey harshly gave. "She can't know!...Okay?! That's not all…The one guy I'm positive about was Dennis Rafkin…In fact, I know it was that actor in her motel room in the photo and…I think Dennis Rafkin isn't Dennis Rafkin."

Randy blinked at that. "...Oh." That did strike him as odd if you got with the guy that played Stu or was going to AND that played in Scooby Doo…It explained how odd you acted while watching it the other night. But he quickly shook his head. "Well, he was a douchebag so who's to say they didn't just talk? I mean, was this photo of them making out or something?"

"Well no."

"Then you don't have proof of anything Dewey! And what the hell do you mean that he's not who he says?" Randy laughed in a mocking tone.

"Listen to me, Randy. I don't think Dennis Rafkin is who he says he is…Have you EVER seen a guy look similar to Stu Macher as much as that actor does? I didn't talk to him on set but I saw interviews of him when he drops that Australian Accent…Randy…That is Stu! I-It's CRAZY but-"

"Dewey, what fucking idiot would do that? Not even Stu would be stupid enough to play himself in a movie. You are DELUSIONAL with this case!" Randy groaned to himself. "So you think…You actually think that they're alive, they were Tim and James and Stu tried to play himself in a movie and that…YN knows about it? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" Dewey fumbled and Randy continued. "And to make an allegation that it's Billy and Stu and YN was WITH them??? You better pray she NEVER hears that. She'll never forgive you and honestly? If it wasn't for how insane it sounds, I'd be more pissed at you too. I expect this shit from Gale, not you."

"Randy, that's not all of the story here." Randy was quiet as he glanced around the corner seeing you still talking before Dewey told him. "...Deputy Hicks watched her sneak out while you were gone and she went to that motel at the edge of town…The same men were inside as a decade ago. The one looks different but I know my sister's old boyfriend…If that isn't Stu Macher, I-" Dewey firmly gave before trailing off with a sigh. "That guy. Put it this way…If it's not Stu then it's Dennis Rafkin IF they're not the same person."

Randy scrunched his face and shook his head with a disbelieving smirk. "What?...No. She wouldn't do that-":

"I have a picture…Hold on I'll send it-"

Randy heard fumbling and cursing on the other line as he prayed Dewey didn't accidentally send him a scary picture of some private thing with Gale or God knows what else..

Randy finally looked at his phone and saw…Exactly what Dewey described.

"Did you get it?"

Randy didn't answer for a moment. His stomach sank a bit realizing you really did lie. Those were the clothes you were wearing last night. You actually snuck out to meet these guys and lied to him.

Randy swallowed and looked around the corner at you still on the phone from what he could tell as he spoke low and told him. "Yeah…I see it."

"Look at the men, Randy. Just hear me out and look at them."

Randy pulled his phone back again and looked. The men's faces were blurry. He didn't see this Dennis Rafkin / Stu / Tim that Dewey was so adamant about but…His stomach sank and his eyes narrowed in confusion as he saw the man's face that was most clear…He was older than when he saw him in the 90's but…He really did resemble Billy Loomis. Dark deep set eyes, high cheekbones, similar face shape this guy was just older and more 'filled out'...It created this instant reaction of…Fear and contempt just looking at him. But that was…It was insane! Billy Loomis was dead...He was fucking dead.

Randy shook his head. "No…No, what you're saying is wackodoo shit, Dewey. YN would NEVER be with them and she would have told us if they're alive."

"Well not if-"

"STOP." Randy cut in harsher than he meant to before shaking his head. "Okay, so she's clearly either doing drug deals with these guys or having some strange affair with them for the last decade because that's the only reason she'd hide this. And you know what? Are they suspects? Sure but she's a grown woman. If she wants to keep her private life private, that's none of our damn business."

"It is when it's potential killers!"

Randy rolled his eyes and hissed out under his breath. "Jesus, Dewey! That is NOT those two idiots, okay?! They died in that fire, YN would never ever keep them secret from us, and she definitely wouldn't be meeting them at motels! I hope she's safe but if this has been going on for over 10 years then who the fuck are we to tell her what to do with her life?" He sighed. "Maybe she didn't tell us because she knew we'd be overbearing or judge her or some shit?"

"But Randy!"

"She's not Tatum, Dewey." Randy had an edge to his voice as he said it…He instantly felt guilt and mumbled. "I-I'm…Sorry. But she's not your kid sister you gotta monitor, she's a grown woman. If this has happened this long; maybe we just need to let her be? Ever think of that?"

Dewey was quiet before reluctantly sighing. "...Maybe you're right…I feel terrible thinking she would do that but her sneaking out and HOW MUCH they look like them-"

"Maybe it's some psychological thing? She's going for two guys that resemble them to bury those feelings for good-"

Dewey interrupted him. "Do you think she had feelings for them? It's just us, honest. I just…I just wonder with her."

Randy hesitated, not trusting Gale not to be eavesdropping. "Does it matter? If she did, they betrayed her just like us. They're dead and rotting in Hell, Dewey…And ya know what? You're kind of pissing me off right now."

"Me??"

"Yeah, you. We…" He trailed off. "We don't make time to be our Woodsboro family anymore and NOW you suddenly want to analyze her personal business here? And accuse her of the very rumor your wife created that ruined her life?...You've changed."

Dewey scoffed, seeming offended. "I have not!"

"Yeah, as soon as you put that badge back on; you've become a by the book's asshole that puts laws and rules above common sense and his friends…Sometimes, in cases like this, I liked you better when you were a regular guy, Dewey...I think you need a long ass vacation once this over and to stop being a cop for 2 seconds."

Randy knew that hurt him as Dewey sucked in a breath on the other line. His voice is heavier. "Well I'm sorry you feel that way, Randy. But I have a job to protect people…I'm only trying to save you and YN from…From what happened to others."

"Dewey, listen-" Randy gave, regret in his voice.

"Okay, maybe Billy and Stu are dead? Then what if these guys are Tim and James? What if it's that actor that was going to play Stu we coincidentally never met on set while everyone else did? Roman was involved in the first case and we had no idea so why not this actor? Regardless, she's been lying to us and hiding things and if they're just regular guys she's…Doing things with, I'll drop it and let her live her life. But I'm getting to the bottom of it. No more people are dying on my watch ever again and these new guys are suspects. "

"Dewey, wait a minute!...Dewey? Dew?!" Randy groaned as the line ended. "Oh…Fuck Jesus."

"Something wrong?"

He jumped when he heard your voice. "W-What? No nothing!" He eyed you.

The idea that you lied to him was already eating him. He wanted so badly to yell at you or to just openly let you know as less pissy as he could that you didn't have to hide shit and lie to him about your private life and that he thought you were close enough to each other to know that!...But he held it in.

"...Were you talking on the phone?" He couldn't help asking.

You stared a moment but nodded. "...Oh yeah. My uh…My car is out of whack. Something about the transmission. I was just talking to my mechanic about it."

"Really?" Randy tried so hard not to look too interested but he couldn't help it. He could tell you weren't telling the whole truth. "You sure were talking a long time…To your mechanic."

"Just small talk…Who were you talking to? I heard Dewey's name." You gave him the same look he knew he gave you.

Randy faltered, mouth parted before he swallowed and while looking away with a dismissive wave. "Yeah, yeah. Dewey called to…Make sure you were okay! You know, after the incident today."

You folded your arms. "Why didn't he call me?"

'Shit.' Randy thought as he shrugged. "Um…Well, he just wanted to ask me. I don't think he wants you thinking he's hovering over you."

You stared a moment before nodding as Randy asked. "How does your face feel?"

You shook your head and got something to drink from the fridge. "It's okay. Thanks but I've had ten times worse."

Randy nodded before you sat down on the couch next to him at the other end.

"How were Karla and the kids?"

"Fine…Just missing them."

You gave him a soft but sad smile. "Yeah. I'm sure you do…I bet they miss you too."

Randy fiddled with his keys in his pocket. Getting up to distract himself before he just blurted out that he knew you lied to him. "What movie do you want to watch?"

You shrugged. "I'm game for anything."

A few moments passed in silence as Randy put on a random movie he had. Both of you clearly had stuff on your minds.

Randy started thinking not only of you lying but…Of his kids…What if they had to go through this when they got older? What if they were Kirby's age, then what? Would they go through this shit too? All because he was in denial and swore a Trilogy was the end and after Roman this nightmare was over?...Kirby was a cool kid. He could imagine Mindy being like her when she was a teen…That thought made his stomach sink.

You glanced over at him deep in thought. "...Ray…What is it?" You asked in a drawn out dreaded 'Don't say it' sort of tone.

He shrugged, quietly telling you. "Just…Wishing we weren't here."

"Yeah. If we could, I'd be out of this place."

Randy sighed. "I've been thinking about that...It's probably just wishful thinking though. If the killer is anything like Horror movies; they'll follow their target or their target's closest friends."

You cringed. "This sounds heartless but if it's a remake and Jill is the target then we could still get away…At least you could. Go to your kids and wife. I'll manage."

Randy thought. 'Yeah cause apparently you have two guys to help you in case...' He sourly thought, not sure how long he could hide the fact he knew what he knew from you.

Randy shook his head, still not looking at you fully. "No, I'm still dead set this is a Franchise and you, me, Dewey and Gale are still the main targets…Something just isn't right about this. It's like…It's like they're baiting everyone."

You leaned forward in interest. "Whaddya mean?"

He finally looked over at you with a frown. "...What if…Jill isn't the target? What if…What if you're the target but they're making it look like Jill in order to get attention off of you? That way, when they kill you, it's easier."

You frowned as well, brows furrowed at that. "That would be convenient."

You adjusted in your seat to look at him fully. "I know it's not a remake but hyperthetically if Jill is a target…Is it the boyfriend killing or is she a target just because she's a Prescott?" You slowly asked.

He opened his mouth and shrugged. "I-I…Don't know? Both seem plausible." He released a humorless chuckle. "...Um…Well shit."

"What?"

"If this is a Franchise, we're kind of sitting ducks here at the house. Alone. At night…Officer Tweedle Dee and Dumb out there. If this is a remake, then we're right across the street from the Final girl."

You gave Randy a wary look and mumbled. "So…We're fucked."

He concluded. "And Kirby and a bunch of other kids including reporter Barbie will die or we will tonight. Here at the house alone or at that party. We're probably getting attacked."

You held up your finger as you saw the look in his eyes. "No, no, no. We are NOT going to the party!"

"Well no, that would be stupid! But…I'm reevaluating whether staying here was the right choice."

"Ray, come on. It's your house, we have cops out front, we have a gun, we-"

You both stopped. Hearing something…You both didn't know if it was outside or inside. But you both jumped up.

Randy faltered. "Okay, okay. We're just getting spooked. W-We're just getting worked up-"

You both swore you heard it again. You weren't sure what it was but you and him gave each other looks before saying. "Okay, fuck this." Randy wholeheartedly agreed as you grabbed your jackets, still dressed from that day, and went to his car.

You both checked under it and the back seat; tag teaming in unison before getting in and locking the doors. It was that odd time of dusk where it's almost completely dark but not quite.

Randy nervously drew out as he started it. "Ooookay who is ready for a 2 hour drive around town going in circles?"

You nodded. "Me. Back this thing up and let's keep moving."

He backed up. And you saw Perkin's and Hoss for whatever reason weren't following you. You huffed and threw a hand up. "Oh, NOW you assholes leave us alone!" You gave him a hopeful look. "Hey…They're not following! We could…We could just drive. Just drive out of here and Dewey would never know. What's he gonna do? Waste time tracking us down? Arrest us? The killer could be caught by then!"

He grimaced. "Damn it, I wish we could but the more I think about it…We can't! If I go to my wife and kids, so will the killer because this IS a goddamn franchise disguised as a shitty remake. Where we go, they follow. These dumbass kids don't understand we're in a fucking Franchise, damn it!"

"Then let's go to another state for all I care!"

"Again. They'll follow and we're REALLY sitting ducks then."

You tsked and leaned in your seat. "So what do we do? Just drive all night?"

Randy shrugged. "Why not?"

"You said it, they'll follow. I was in one high speed chase and almost died. I don't want to do that again."

"How did you even get through that alone??" Randy asked with a curious look.

You looked away. "I just…Did."

Randy smacked the steering wheel lightly. "Shit. Okay okay, okay…We gotta do SOMETHING. At that house, we're sitting ducks. In this car, eventually we could be stranded from some flat tire or a killer running us off the roads. Yes, it's in town but still it happens in horror small town or middle of nowhere…So…"

You gave him a dirty look. "NO. No way, Ray!"

"Where else are we going?!"

"Not there! I will sit all night at the police station first!"

"Oh right, so Dewey can do something stupid like send all his Deputies out when a kill happens and we're slaughtered there instead?"

You argued back. "Well it's better than going to a fucking party that is so obviously a trap!"

"Look…Gale is there. Kirby is there. Either they're going to die and lure us as bait or we're going to die while the party is a distraction …Or we go there and we follow the rules and end this. Tonight. It's the final act. I'm done with this shit and I know you are too."

"Randy. You have kids and a wife to worry about. We don't need to go there!"

"Yeah well, Kirby feels like what Mindy might be as she gets older and I'd want some legacy character to help her too. If you want, I can drop you off at the station but I'm going there and getting her out at least…Possibly Gale but if not. Meh. She lived a good life."

Your face soured. Usually YOU were the one giving these hairbrained brave ideas because of Billy or Stu…You grunted and smacked your hand on the window. "Damn it, Ray!" You sighed loudly. "I can't beileve were fucking doing this. We stick together no matter what. We keep a weapon on us-" You handed him Pepper Spray from your pocket and a knife. He took it while at a stop sign. "We try to get Kirby out. If not? We leave. We drive to at least the outside of the police station. Lock the doors and wait till sun up or we drive till the wheels fall off this thing, alright?"

Randy gave a firm nod "Sounds like a plan."

You looked out the window with a bad feeling in your stomach. You knew the killer was going to strike you tonight no matter who you were with or where you went. At least at the party there were a bunch of people and open space for you and Randy to get away.

'FUCK!'

#scream #stu macher #billy loomis #my writing #scream fanfiction #yn fanfic #she her yn #my stories #scream 4 #fours a franchise

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babywitchofthesouth-responds · 2 years

Text

The Ultimate Psych Fic Rec List

Ft. 49 of the best Psych fics (imo) >>>

Four Floors Down, Use the Stairs in Case of Emergency by centipede

Shawn does something really stupid. Really stupid, really dangerous, and something that means he's really, really screwed. Which shouldn't surprise anyone.

Especially since no one knows where he is.

High Tide by LittleFairy78

It all started with a fight. Shawn leaves town for a few days, only to find his life cruelly changed upon his return. He tries to get to the bottom of what happened, but everybody else thinks he's just in denial. Shawn angst...

Fun in the Woods with Buzz McNabb by centipede

While searching for stolen bonds in the woods, Buzz McNabb wins babysitting duty for a certain psychic consultant for the SBPD. And Lassiter proves something he never meant to. As non-angsty as it gets because, seriously, this is Buzz we're talking about.

Judas In My Mind by PineappleHead

MacGyver/Psych crossover

Murdoc is looking for a new recruit for HIT. Shawn has all the necessary skills. Neither of them could foresee where their crossed paths would lead them.

"What have I become? Now that I've betrayed everyone I've ever loved, and pushed them all away? And I have been a slave to the Judas in my mind. Is there something left of me to save in the wreckage of my life? I'm becoming Judas in my mind..." -------Fozzy

What's The Story, Morning Glory? by Liviapenn

The first time Shawn ever kisses Gus it's goodbye.

Wednesday, March 3rd Of 2010 by lapsus_calami

March third of two thousand ten dawned much in the same way every day before it had. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Gus and Shawn were an unbeatable detective duo. The day after, however, would dawn much differently.

Shawn And The Real(er) Psychics Of Santa Barbra by Beaconbaconbison

Shawn isn't a psychic. He's just some guy who got struck by lighting and woke up having visions about things he couldn't possibly know. That seems on par with the rest of his life. Right? He really. Really. Really isn't psychic. Even if these visions are helping solve a murder. He's just very observant. That's all.

like a comet pulled from orbit by torigates

Shawn is good at half-truths.

Born This Way by redwolffclaw

Henry Spencer has started to realize that something is different about his three year old son Shawn and will soon need to use all his detective skills to figure out how to raise his rambunctious prodigy.

Familiarity by sebviathan

AKA the four times Shawn and Lassiter met before they actually met, and when it finally came together.

How many hats? by Abby_Gal

After Shawn kills a man to protect his best friend, he can’t stop his overstimulated brain from making him watch the man falling to the ground again and again. Luckily the man who has helped train his brain as a kid is there to help him calm down.

Baby Steps by Vanya_Instance

Shawn and Gus were celebrating the opening of a new nightclub near Shawn’s apartment. The night was turning enjoyable, drinks were reasonably priced, the music was deafening but danceable and with a magnificent feat of wingwomanship, Shawn had found Gus a girl. A true miracle indeed.

Not to sound smug, but this had been a brilliant idea on Shawn’s part.

But then Shawn wakes up in an alley early the next morning, covered in cuts and bruises, miles away from the club and her apartment, with no memory as to how she got there.

For the first time Shawn finds herself on the other side of the thin blue line, not as a suspect, but as a victim.

And Shawn is scared.

And Shawn thinks she preferred being the suspect.

Little Murder in the Big Woods by Anonymous

A totally harmless lie gets Shawn involved with Gus' work retreat... and MURDER.

To be fair, he'd probably be getting a front row seat to a murder somewhere whether or not he decided to pose as Gus' live-in partner in order to spend a weekend camping trip distracting him from team-building exercises.

Shawn Spencer: The Ultimate Reference by sottovoce81

Shawn Spencer was the ultimate reference. He was the go-to guy for a quick reference when the Winchesters were in need of something.

Burton Guster Gets Salty by Emachinescat

“Run! Don’t look back!” That’s what Shawn says to Gus as they run for their lives from a killer with a gun. But Gus does look back – just in time to see his best friend go down with the crack of the pistol.

Shawn Spencer is Nobody's Agatha by huckleberryzenon

After the disaster that is Lindsay Leiken, the FBI decides it's time to begin psychological evaluations of all the psychics who consult with law enforcement, starting with one Shawn Spencer. Shawn's confident he'll pass with flying colors, but what if the danger isn't in getting found out, but the person administering the test?

Another thing they'll never talk about by rosey_angel

He’s decided it. This is going to happen. Everyone at school is talking about weddings because Casey McClintock's mom is getting married and ever since then he’s been over the moon. Because he decided. He’s going to marry Shawn Spencer.

Thinking over the secret moments in their past, Gus can't hide his feelings about or for Shawn any longer.

Psy vs. Psy in the Sky (And Right Back Down Again) by Emachinescat

After being taken hostage by fake psychic Lindsay Leikin, Shawn finds himself tied up and on an unplanned skydiving adventure.

Thanks For the Memories (Or Lack of Them) by EclipseWing

They tell you that your name is Shawn Spencer. They tell you that you are thirty-three and that you live in Santa Barbara, California.

They don't tell you that you're meant to be psychic.

Fro-Yo? More Like Fro-No! by Emachinescat

No matter how angry he was, Gus would never hurt his best friend - not intentionally, at least.

But the hard truth was that intentions wouldn’t matter if Shawn ended up frozen to death in some ditch in Canada. Either way, it would be Gus’s fault.

Either way, he would have killed his best friend.

how you try by disastermovie

Gus always knew Shawn would come back to Santa Barbara. He didn't know when or in what state, but he always knew that one day, he'd find his best friend back on his doorstep, grinning like nothing had changed. That's just how Shawn is. And Gus would welcome him back because that's just what their friendship is. No matter how many years pass, no matter what shenanigans Shawn drags him into, they'll always be best friends.

That doesn't mean he has any idea what to do with a baby.

The Joker and the King by Castlewood_Bard

Shawn and Gus in a royal AU. That's all you really need to know.

Two Dead Guys, a Girl, and a Psychic by moondragon23

Life is great for Shawn Spencer. He has a cool job, a smart, beautiful girlfriend, and gets to hang with his best friend all day. What more could a guy want? When he gets his next two cases, a dead chemistry professor and a girl looking for her father, it looks like business as usual. Too bad things never go that simply when Shawn is involved.

I've Heard It One Way by NephilimEQ

Shawn Spencer just got his appendix removed...and, at the same time, he's just found out that he has another problem. But he's not going to tell anyone. Until, one day, head detective Carlton Lassiter finds out his secret. Will this bring them closer together or ruin their friendship forever?

A Tale as Old as Vegas, Baby by burglebezzlement

Gus would like to believe there's no way Shawn's been hiding their secret Vegas marriage for five years. Unfortunately, the marriage license with their signatures on it and the photograph of the two of them smooching in front of Elvis say otherwise.

Shawn Spencer and the Fate of the Furious by huckleberryzenon

an AU to Season 4, Episode 9: "Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark." Rollins has a few tricks up his sleeve after his arrest, post Shawn's dramatic car-hopping rescue.

Shafted by MusicalLuna1

Only Shawn could injure himself whilst searching a cordoned off building with a faction of S.B.P.D. officers. Shameless Shawn whumpage.

GHOST TOWN by Vindicata

What are the chances of a guy on a Norton motorcycle running into a guy in a ‘67 Impala as they each crisscross the country? Pretty damn high.

"You're awfully perky for a guy who was just freaking out a couple of minutes ago."

"And you're awfully bitchy for a guy who just had his life save by a courageous bystander with fantastic hair"

“Time to roast a ghost?”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Handlebars by Vindicata

Everyone thinks Shawn needs Gus and the SBPD to investigate.

They were wrong.

When Shawn works around the system to hide a case he’s working on, the secret might just blow up in his face... or show truly capable he is to the people who always underestimated him.

Guilt is a Funny Thing. Not in a “Haha” Way Though. by JenCM

“He called me, you know.” Henry choked out, distress obvious in his voice. “Kid…kid said he needed a ride. I told him to catch the bus.”

Carlton looked over, wondering if his exhausted eyes and ears were deceiving him. No, it wasn’t the fact that Henry Spencer was opening up to him, if he could call a random statement ‘opening up’ It wasn’t even the fact that the man looked him straight in the eye when he said it.

He scoffed with bitter amusement, “If it’s any consolation…” Carlton said with a sigh, “I told him he could walk home.”

Henry didn’t seem surprised at the revelation. He broke eye contact, his gaze falling back on Shawn, motionless in the hospital bed.

“Guess it goes to show that the kid still doesn’t listen to me.”

The only sound that followed was the hissing of the ventilation machine, and the beeping of the monitors. Nothing else needed to be said.

When Shawn ends up in a completely preventable situation that leaves him worse for wear, his father and Lassiter take a one-way trip to Guiltina while Gus tries to sell a ‘slightly used’ Lazy Boy and Juliet is just caught in the middle of the mess.

Phone Tag by windscryer

A demon hunter and a fake psychic walk into a bar . . . oh wait, that was the LAST story. This is what happens after.

A series of episode tags for both Psych and Supernatural continuing the adventures of Shawn and Dean and Sam (and eventually Gus and the others too, maybe).

How Much is that Body in the Window? by ZedPM, DinerGuy

It started as a vacation in New York City for our favorite psychic and his best friend, but when the duo stumbles upon a body (literally) they’ll need to lend a hand to Castle and the rest of the gang to solve the case before they head back to California.

A Bitter Pill by Psychrulz

Everyone knows Shawn has a tendency to get distracted. When he misses a clue and a murderer almost gets away, Chief Vick has had enough. She orders Shawn to get help and fix the problem- or else. Naturally, nothing with Shawn is ever that simple. When the fix turns out to be worse than the problem, the lives of his entire team are put in danger.

The Tangled Web by Collegekid06

Who tried to kill Shawn?

Someone cut the brakes on Shawn's bike. Now he's in a coma, and Henry, Jules, Lassiter and Gus are trying to find out who did it.

We All Go A Little Crazy Sometimes.... by Collegekid06

Shawn voluntarily commits himself to a mental institution.

How will Henry react?

How will Gus react?

And will the doctors ever let him go?

My Dinner In Hell: Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love A Good Steak by Collegekid06

Shawn.

Lassie.

Henry.

Dinner...

Need I say more?

The Longest Day by LittleFairy

Shawn knows it's technically not really his fault. Lassiter thinks differently. Emphatically so.

But they have to make the best of the situation together, no matter who is to blame. Because the bad guys are on their way to Mexico, the other bad guys are after them, they're in the middle of nowhere, and somehow they have ended up...cuffed together.

It's just one of those days.

Shawn and the Friendly Neighborhood Stalker by laytoncolt

It's another case that no one else believes a case, and Shawn would be figuring it all out a lot quicker if didn't have to deal with a break-in and a stalker, that may or may not be related.

The Dah Ling Store It Yourself by Nixa Jane

The bad news is that one of Lassiter's highest profile arrests has just escaped from prison. The worse news is that his best hope of tracking him down is a sleep-deprived Shawn Spencer.

The Pharmaceutical Psychic by Tardisgater

Being captured by a mad scientist is almost expected by this point. The mad scientist's experiments actually working is a whole 'nother thing. It's time to shake up the status quo.

You Have the Right to Remain...Dead by MusicalLuna

When an officer is murdered late one night while on duty, Karen forbids Shawn from getting involved, afraid he won't take the case as seriously as he should.

But since when has a little thing like being banned from a case stopped Shawn Spencer?

I'm Okay by light at last

The day that Shawn is supposed to graduate is the first time he manages to actually fool his dad. It will remain one of few.

Identification by veggiewoppa

Hitchhiking in the rain = bad idea

Getting a ride from a homical maniac = worse idea

Stopping for the night in a motel full of potential victims = Worst idea in the history of bad ideas

The Boy in Blue by Collegekid06

Shawn's nightmares all come true when he finally ends up at the police academy...and it's not by choice.

The Evidence Lock-Up by InsaneTrollLogic

All contents part of case 10329QXT—The Disappearance of Shawn H. Spencer. Property of the Santa Barbra Police Department.

Bouncing Around by PurpleMoon3

Cas finds God.

Note: I tossed around for a while deciding whether to include this because I had no idea what was happening in it 99% of the time, but it made such a strong impression that it would be criminal not to

Aquatic Equestrianism by trascendenza

The one where they're mermen, because clearly my brain is a weird place. "You are outta your damn mind if you think that dolphin wants to be ridden."

The Pilot of My Roflcopter by trascendenza

The one where Shawn talks like a lolcat to seduce Gus.

Molasses in January by trascendenza

The one where they're, um, snails.

#psych #psych tv #psych tv show #shawn spencer #psych fic rec #psych fic recs #burton guster #fanfiction #fic recs #fic rec #literally some of these are sourced from the strangest websites

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identityarchitect · 8 months

Text

oh i forgot how much i hate dp spawn lines

(X-Yellow,Rivulet,Red,Artificer,Spear,Saint,Inv)SB_C06 : 3-Black, 4-Black

^ you see that disgusting thing? that's a spawn line that says "for monk, rivulet, hunter, artificer, spearmaster, saint and inv, DONT spawn these black lizards."

that leaves ONLY SURVIVOR AND GOURMAND.

vanilla has functionality for having multiple cats on the same spawn line!

and of course the devs didnt organise the spawns at all so you just have to rifle through their litter if you want to do a modify.

(Red)SB_GOR01 : 3-Small Centipede-5, 3-Centipede-2, 4-BigSpider-5, 5-Blue, 6-Small Centipede-5 (Artificer)SB_GOR01 : 3-Small Centipede-5, 3-Centipede-2, 4-BigSpider-5, 5-Blue, 6-Small Centipede-5

you see these stupid fucking lines? this is arti and hunter having the exact same spawns for the exact same room. why arent they on one line? because downpour spawns are stupid and evil. they even got rid of don the dropwig in chimney canopy.

(Red)SB_J10 : 3-TentaclePlant, 4-Centipede-2 (Artificer)SB_J10 : 3-TentaclePlant, 4-Centipede-2 (Spear)SB_J10 : 3-TentaclePlant, 4-Centipede-2 (Saint)SB_J10 : 3-TentaclePlant, 4-Centipede-2

look at this absolute waste of four lines. just do it as one line!

i mean ugh i guess it's slightly more useful to have them as separate lines so that you can modify the spawns for fucking sb_j10 slightly easier without screwing with another cat's spawns, but do you seriously think the dp devs were thinking that far ahead? no.

#rw devlog #sure. what ever. i have a tag for that now

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-31

Mainline upd8 before the June break. More Terezi! That should put me in a better mood. (1 edit (2020-06-01) since posting)

> CHAPTER 10. 1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3

Wait, fuzzily waking up seeing the new planet?

Wait, why is the site background still black?

Wait, is this one of the new alien race members just created?

That would explain the chapter title. (Especially if they were part plant, but Terezi would say that regardless, when you think about it.)

> ==>

Coming more into focus.

> ==>

Oh! Back to the normal background.

TEREZI: W3LL

She’s not the one seeing this, so is this an alien perspective or does Rose’s visual processing take a while to turn back on post-warranty-breach?

> ==>

Huh? It WAS her point of view?

So this:

--is just an attempt at rendering her smell-o-vision?

I know her sense of smell is supposed to be amazing, but this is MARKEDLY less paint-like than previous depictions of her smell-o-vision. See for comparison:

Was this an intentional difference in clarity? Laziness? Her scent-vision being sharper? They’re practically making us feel like her eyes are healed again, which would be disastrous, and not something even Ultimate Rose should necessarily be capable of.

(I’m inclined to give them less credit than usual today, though, so a poor visual choice most likely.)

TEREZI: TH4T W4S PR3TTY FUCK1NG STUP1D

Hate-screwing Rosebot? Why?

I guess it’d leave you sore.

> ==>

TEREZI: F4LL1NG 4SL33P H3R3 1S JUST 4SK1NG FOR TROUBL3

Oh. Are the new races - or their precursor “experiments” running around?

> ==>

TEREZI: NODD1NG OFF L1K3 TH4T UND3RN34TH 4N 4RBOR34L 4MBUL4TOR TEREZI: WHO KNOWS WH4T COULD H4V3 H4PP3N3D TEREZI: Y34H 4LR1GHT, 4LR1GHT TEREZI: G3T OFF MY C4S3 4BOUT 1T ALR34DY TEREZI: 1TS NOT L1K3 1 D1D 1T ON PURPOS3

Is Terezi talking to her other selves or something? Or another brain ghost?

TEREZI: W3R3 JUST LUCKY TH3R3 1SNT 4NY W1ND 4T TH3 MOM3NT TEREZI: 1V3 3ST4BL1SH3D TH4T TH1S 1S WHY TH3Y MOV3 TEREZI: TH3 4MBUL4TORS 4R3 PL4NTS IN THE STR1CT S3NS3, BUT EXH1B1T LOCOMOT1V3 B3H4V1OUR DU3 TO TH31R UN1QU3 CONSTRUCT1ON

Ooh, moving trees. Nice.

TEREZI: TH3 M41N BODY OF THE PL4NT CONS1STS OF A N3TWORK OF HOLLOW, TUB3LIKE GROWTHS THROUGH WH1CH 41R M4Y TR4V3L TEREZI: TH3S3 N3TWORKS 4R3 SO SOPH1ST1C4T3D TH4T TH3 SH1FT1NG PR3SSUR3 1NS1D3 TH3 TRUNK 4ND BR4NCH3S C4N C4US3 TH3 3NT1R3 PL4NT TO UPROOT 1TS3LF 4ND B3G1N "W4LK1NG", PROV1D3D TH3 COND1T1ONS 4R3 R1GHT TEREZI: TH1S PROC3SS, WH1L3 M4J3ST1C, C4N H4V3 DR4ST1C 3FF3CTS ON TH3 PL4NTS SURROUND1NGS

I know you like to eat them, but when did your analysis of plantlife get so clinical? Do you have Aranea blabbing in your ear or something?

Oh. OH, wait. They have a Command Station. Is Rose communicating with her remotely via that, and Terezi is just Dave-like vocalizing everything Rose punches into the terminal? Then that would be Terezi arguing with HER out loud. And the sudden transition of talk to “I’ve established that this is why they move.” is very Rose-sounding.

> ==>

That lil’ “hup” pose to jump over the gap Terezi’s making is adorable. Also, those are bad failed experiments y’all have created and you should feel bad, Rose and Dirk. (Rose is definitely to blame for this spider-bunny nightmare.)

TEREZI: HUP!

Hup

TEREZI: 1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3 >:O

They look like they’d taste like bee spiders with inedible stuffing throughout.

Trolls do find grubs of most sorts appetizing though.

> ==>

TEREZI THOSE ARE NO REASON TO BE HAPPY

> ==>

Yeah, beautiful field-shot aside I feel pretty bad for that creation. Looks miserable.

> ==>

Now they’re just mashing up consorts. Are they TRYING to populate the planet with weird garbage for the final products to eat? (Or fight? Hard-troll-childhood style?)

> ==>

THAT THING IS NO REASON TO LOOK SO HAPPY EITHER REZI

Gosh, at least she’s having fun though.

> ==>

You’re ignoring Onionsan, Terezi

> ==>

I wonder what lazy name this Horsisaur has.

Fun abandoned. Survival instincts fully engaged. Terezi runs.

She throws backward sniffs over her shoulder as she tears through the scrubby cling of the planet’s undergrowth, catching fractured impressions of exactly what has decided to chase her. A shuddering, 20 foot monstrosity that somehow seems to both scamper and glide, like a centipede, rustling like foliage as it moves, as if an entire goddamn forest is bearing down on her.

Between the game and Alternia, you shouldn’t be TOO rusty at this, right?

The problem with using smells to navigate the world is that the unfamiliar can be difficult to parse. Every whiff over her shoulder gives her another blurry glimpse of what this beast is.

Yeah, smell is a little slower on the pickup than sight.

Rose shared her books with Terezi when she was on the ship, and her favorite by far was the compendium of the zoologically dubious. Everything contained inside was just so unbelievably unlikely. This creature appears to be a combination of all of them.

Really? What we see of it doesn’t look THAT weird. But we only see about half of it from this angle, so.

--Twisted ankle? Come on, you’re not THAT rusty.

> ==>

It’s fear, pure and simple. Unsurprising, when being menaced by a monster, but it also doesn’t last for more than a second. A cold flame that instantly burns itself out, and all of a sudden she is just deeply, impossibly, indescribably tired. Down to her bones.

You’re already giving up??!?

Honestly, she really has no right to feel this... this fatigue. This crushing embrace of endless struggle. Terezi Pyrope has not had an easy life by anyone’s standards, but so much of her thirteen or so sweeps has just been standing still. Waiting. Huddling blind and half dead in her recuperacoon, the sopor burning the hideous mess that the sun has left her eyes, alight with a hatred so layered and intense that she couldn’t make sense of it.

Dammit, do we have to go SO EXHAUSTINGLY DEEPLY into EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER’S PTSD?!??

It was horrifying--that pain or fury--but also, admittedly, very boring. Then there were the sweeps on the meteor, the endless, gelatinous stretches of time in the chaos of the outer ring, searching for... Vriska, ostensibly, but also maybe just for a chance to dry up. To disappear. Go extinct.

Terezi doesn’t know if it’s an attribute of her aspect, or the sheer psychic damage of spending so long in the company of two humans with god complexes. Maybe it’s just an inherited symptom of being conscious. But sometimes it feels like none of them are going to get out of this, alive or dead.

Fuck, apparently we are. These writers don’t know how to let up. Can’t we get a little more retroactive dwelling on how FUN some of their lives up til now were? And then... maybe NOT only do that to contrast with how depressed they are now?? There was SO much delight in Homestuck amidst the hardship, and if you’re going to show us more of the hardship you have to show us more of the delight, too, or everything just gets pointlessly dark.

--ah, Rose redirected the command console to point to the monster and stopped it that way.

ROSE: I am devastated to report that those are really more vines than tentacles, and even worse, they aren’t mine.

Pff.

...Poking fun at the terminology for Patron Trolls, at this late date of all times.

TEREZI: D4V3 4ND 1 H4D 4 LOT 1N COMMON B4CK TH3N, OR 4T L34ST 1T F3LT L1K3 W3 D1D ROSE: As I have come to understand it, for a while at least, we were all being steered in the right direction by a debatably benevolent force. ROSE: One imposed on us by the game itself, even if we had yet to enter it. TEREZI: ... ROSE: You don’t believe me. TEREZI: NO, 1 DO TEREZI: 1T SOUNDS 1NCR3D1BLY DUMB AND UNL1K3LY BUT SO DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG 3LS3 TH4T H4PP3NS TO 4NY OF US

Terezi, don’t you know at least half as much about Skaia as anyone else here? Isn’t that what she’s talking about?

TEREZI: SO YOU 4R3 DO1NG TH3 S4M3 TH1NGS TO TH3S3 CR34TUR3S TH4T SOM3 OTH3R CR34TUR3S D1D TO YOU 4ND YOUR FR13NDS ROSE: I suppose that is a fair assessment. Although we were not our own creators. It was John who— DIRK: I hate to break up the recap episode, but we need to deal with this situation before it gets out of hand.

Wait, she’s talking about the Exiles? Terezi TOLD Dave about the exiles helping them. SHE was the one who told us how that worked! Although I guess you could chalk her questions up to her not knowing one of those “terminals” was involved.

TEREZI: 4ND HOW 4R3 YOU H3R3 4NYW4Y? DIRK: I have administrative privileges. TEREZI: YOU H4V3 4DM1N1STR4T1V3 PR1V1L3G3S TO MY P4LMHUSK DIRK: Yes.

Was Terezi dictating to her palmhusk earlier? Why was she talking for Rose’s part of the conversation earlier, but not now? Was that a mistake? Or did Rose switch off the terminal, despite her apparent confusion with the terminal now???

Opinion of HS^2... dropping... keep it together stop judging the comic so hard... NOT dropping off in quality... shh brain! Shoosh!!!

(Seriously though, don’t put ANY asks in my inbox about HS^2 dropping off in quality, even as much as I’M starting to complain. Gotta keep my hopes up to keep enjoying myself as I keep going.)

ROSE: Don’t let it get to you. My father has a habit of appearing in places he’s not wanted.

You’re seriously just CALLING him that now?!??

DIRK: I was saying that we should get Terezi down from there before continuing our mining of the core themes in our personal narratives.

Ah, that’s why you used the terminology.

DIRK: I was saying that we should get Terezi down from there before continuing our mining of the core themes in our personal narratives. ROSE: Of course. I’ll take care of it. DIRK: Appreciate it. TEREZI: 1 W1SH YOU WOULDN’T DO TH4T WH3R3 1 C4N S33 1T DIRK: Do what? TEREZI: TH4T TH1NG WH3R3 YOU G3T P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 NOT M3 TO DO WH4T3V3R 1T 1S YOU W4NT TH3M TO TEREZI: M1ND CONTROL

Oh, damn. That was a creepy order, then. And is Rose STILL not wise to it? Can Terezi and Dirk just TALK about the narrative control IN FRONT OF ROSE and have her not recognize it because of said control??? :C

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S GO1NG ON DIRK: You can make more boots. TEREZI: 1M NOT T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 BOOTS, NOOKBR34TH TEREZI: 1 MEAN TH3 M3N4G3R13 FROM H3LL DIRK: Well, we’ve encountered a couple bumps along the road. TEREZI: YOU DONT S4Y

This is fun, but I can’t help but notice that Rose has completely stopped talking. Fuck having Dirk flaunt this even harder just ups the creepiness even more.

TEREZI: YOU GUYS R34LLY SUCK 4T TH1S DIRK: Yeah, agreed. TEREZI: ... TEREZI: WOW, TH4T W4S MUCH L3SS P41NFUL 4ND LONG-W1ND3D TH4N 1 W4S 3XP3CT1NG 1T TO B3 DIRK: What was? TEREZI: CONV1NC1NG YOU TH4T 4LL OF TH3S3 "D3S1GNS" TH4T YOU H4V3 COM3 UP W1TH SUCK SH1T TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD T3LL M3 TH4T 4LL OF 1T 1S P4RT OF SOM3 "GR4ND PL4N" TEREZI: TH4T TH3Y SUCK ON PURPOS3 OR SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T DIRK: Well, it is a part of the grand plan. And they do suck on purpose. DIRK: But not on my purpose. DIRK: It’s Rose. She is remarkably bad at this. Voluntarily. TEREZI: DO YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S TRY1NG TO S4BOT4G3 4LL OF YOUR GR4ND CR34T1ONS TEREZI: OH POW3RFUL GOD PR1NC3? DIRK: No, she’s playing the game. That part hasn’t been a problem. DIRK: I mean she is just making incredibly nonsensical decisions and refusing to back down, even when I up the ante to preposterous levels. DIRK: You should see some of the shit she’s come up with. I’m pretty sure I watched a vagina on legs walk by this morning. TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 S4W TH4T ON3 DIRK: Despite her initial resistance, Rose has gone completely feral. TEREZI: YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S H4V1NG FUN DIRK: Yes.

You loosened her morals so she’d be conscience-free to go full zoological playground, and she’s GOING full zoological playground. What did you expect?

TEREZI: 4ND WH4T 1S WRONG W1TH 4 L1TTL3 B1T OF FUN YOUR H1GHN3SS? DIRK: Nothing. I got absolutely no problem with having a good time while we see to the boring and altogether completely frivolous task of seeding the future of this planet. DIRK: But she really TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT3D H3R TO B3 TH3 ON3 TO HOLD YOU B4CK, 1NST34D OF TH3 OTH3R W4Y 4ROUND DIRK: No, that's not it. TEREZI: YES, 1 TH1NK 1T 1S 1T

What? “Holding her back”? How did this suddenly become about Dirk’s insecurity at his ectobiological skill?

DIRK: By project, do you mean that I expect Rose to be too much like myself? TEREZI: NO, 1 M34N TH3 OPPOS1T3 TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT H3R TO B3 B3TT3R TH4N YOU TEREZI: YOU W4NT H3R TO PR3V3NT 4LL OF YOUR WORST T3ND3NC13S. TH3 W4Y 1 US3D TO W1TH VR1SK4 WH3N W3 W3R3 MO1R41LS

--Oh, you meant hold them back from going TOO FAR. I see. And also, the way Terezi and Vriska were “moirails” is the WORST example, and thus quite fitting to relate to this situation. For their brief pale stint, Terezi never really STOPPED Vriska from doing ANYTHING. She just supported Vriska, while Vriska spewed some flattery Terezi’s way... and then proceeded to do whatever the fuck she wanted. Sometimes without telling her. It was an AWFUL example of proper moirallegiance, as I covered in the above link.

Dirk wouldn’t know about that, though. And neither does Terezi, apparently, unless she’s just not admitting it.

(EDIT: Also, Rose never had the slightest chance of ever holding Dirk back like she might have wanted because DIRK MIND CONTROL OVERRIDES HER EVERY TIME SHE HAS RESERVATIONS. The only way a moirallegiance can work at all is if the one being held back is WILLING to listen. Dirk has deliberately and continuously suppressed Rose's ability to even THINK about dissuading him from literally any course of action.)

TEREZI: YOUR3 3XP3CT1NG ROS3 TO C4TCH YOU WH3N YOU GO TOO F4R TEREZI: SH3 1SNT GO1NG TO DO TH4T, 1 DONT TH1NK TEREZI: 1N F4CT, 1 TH1NK SH3 1S MOR3 L1K3LY TO GO TOO F4R TH4N YOU 4R3 DIRK: What makes you say that? TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW TEREZI: JUST 4 F33L1NG, 1 GU3SS. 1 M1GHT NOT B3 4 GOD-MODD3D DORK 1N COSPL4Y, BUT 1M ST1LL A S33R TEREZI: 4ND 1 H4VE SP3NT W4Y MOR3 T1M3 W1TH TH3 TWO OF YOU TH4N 4LMOST 4NYON3 ELSE, WH1CH 1S 1NCR3D1BLY D3PR3SS1NG TO TH1NK 4BOUT

Guh. A real pair of villains. Is that REALLY why you brought Rose, Dirk?

TEREZI: 4NYW4Y, 1F YOU DONT L1K3 TH3 W4Y ROS3 1S DO1NG TH1NGS WHY DONT YOU JUST NOT-M1ND CONTROL H3R 1NTO DO1NG 1T TH3 R1GHT W4Y TEREZI: PROBL3M SOLV3D DIRK: I’ve made the decision to freehand this one. I’m not planning to influence Rose’s decision in any part of the contest. Otherwise it’s too easy, and barely worth doing at all.

Obviously. And you can’t argue her down the normal way because she was NEVER someone to listen to someone like you in a direct confrontation without any misleading subterfuge. You would’ve had to Doc Scratch it.

DIRK: So you’re saying you want me to mind-control Rose. TEREZI: NO, 1M S4Y1NG TH4T 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 4 COW4RD TEREZI: P3RH4PS 1 W1LL T3LL H3R TH4T YOU H4V3 B33N WH1SP3R1NG YOUR STR4NG3 L1TTL3 1NC4NT4T1ONS 1N H3R 34R OV3R TH3 L4ST F3W SW33PS TEREZI: L1K3 4 CR33PY W31RDO DIRK: No, you won’t. If you were going to, you would have already.

Are you talking about the narrative mind control or are you talking about something else? Something weirder? Because calling them “strange little incantations” sounds like he’s been doing some creepily Doc-Scratchy grooming to her like how Doc kinda rage-controlled the trolls to write his genetic code on their walls in their most vulnerable moments.

DIRK: Unless you think I’m still projecting my "image" of what I think Rose "should" do, and she actually won’t give a shit. TEREZI: NO, 1 TH1NK SH3 W1LL B3 CONFL1CT3D TEREZI: UNL3SS YOU M1ND-CONTROL H3R NOT TO B3 DIRK: Not mind control. TEREZI: WH4T3VER!

And that’s just it. Rose WOULD have been very conflicted about MUCH of this if you hadn’t used your narrative control to override all her inhibitions. So instead you get the version of her who would have gone with your plans without hesitation, which is the WORST version of her. And she doesn’t even have a choice to be better.

Alright, that’s the end of the upd8. See y’all! Maybe a bit after the commentary goes up for this (already has for the Influencers bonus) I’ll cover the commentary on both this and the bonus, but that’ll be in at least a few days. Ciao

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #Homestuck Theories #Homestuck Theory #spoiler #spoilers #Terezi #Dirk Strider #Rose Lalonde

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medea10 · 5 years

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Medea Plays Pokemon Sword: Part II

After a long week of work and watching idiots doing idiot things because they’re idiots (a.k.a. Impeachment Hearings), it’s time to sit back and spaz over cute Yampers doing cute Yamper things.

I know, I’m a Clefairy-line fan. And I cannot wait to get one so I can get my Missy the Clefable. But...

Look at this cute, wittle breadloaf.

Aw, I want to be with you forever too, Winston Corgles Ein Handbanana the Breadloaf.

Hey, no! No.

We’re not evolving you...yet.

On another subject I forgot to mention in the last shit-post. If you played Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee, there’s a fella that gives you a Pikachu and Eevee. Downside is, NO you cannot evolve them. And on another another subject, check out the first sentence on Piki’s bio.

Piki is total bad-ass. She’s a lost member of Naughty by Nature and is down with O.P.P.

I will always be a child of early 90′s Hip Hop. Back to the shit-post.

Another run-in with this butt-wipe. Let’s see how far he’s past in my characters I hate list. Um, he is now at Trip levels!

Thinks he’s better than you and has this notice-me-senpai syndrome for an older gentleman. Let’s hope Bede stays at this level and doesn’t go any further than this.

I beat Nessa. And I now ship Nessa x Sonia. Now it’s time to...

What crawled out your vagina to make you so fucking crabby?

Yeah, as you can plainly see I still have severe distrust for Chairman Rose and bitchy-locks here.

Hey, a thought occurs. What pokemon am I eating at this seafood restaurant? I know I love calamari. Am I eating Octillery? Oh God, I’m a monster!

Oh my God, this game is making me question everything in life and it’s getting too real man. Show me some cute pokemon!

Close enough. This would probably be my mother’s house since Wooper is her favorite pokemon.

Oh, fuck me, guy! This turd again?

Okay, now we blast past hating you on the same level as Trip.

Bede is now at...

Motoyasu from Shield Hero. An asshole I’m hoping gets whammed in the nuts more than once.

So far this game is giving me Hau 2.0 and a rival I wish would develop cancer and die quickly. Is it so much to ask for that we get a rival that...

Oh shit, there’s Marnie. I know I haven’t seen her in a while, but I do like her.

*snorts* Her cheering crowd is funny sometimes. Just look at these tossers!

They’re so fucking stupid I just have to laugh whenever I see them. They’re so amusing.

Meanwhile...

Got my third badge. And now onto...YOU AGAIN?!

Okay, Motoyasu is starting to look good compared to you Bede-wipe. Even my co-worker called you a douchebag.

You are now at Dilandau from Escaflowne levels. Please Bede, stop frequently coming in my direction.

Okay, made it to Hammerlocke. Did some stuff here, like...

Help a young boy with saying goodbye to a possible crush.

And get me a Flapple.

Resisted the urge to laugh at this dude’s shorts.

And learned that Pokemon can still talk about poop.

Just like when Gary Oak found fossilized pokemon poop.

Season one will always amuse me.

Geez, Galar’s got some major pigeon problems too.

Well, I’m done here if I can’t fight the gym leader yet. Time to hit the road to the next town. But not before running into...

Swinging Belleville Rendez-vous

I will never tire of saying that.

Time for the next town.

Oh fuck, I think this kid’s about to learn what a “golden shower” is if he stands under Bronzong like that any longer.

Fought and beat Bea.

And as much as I give flack to Hop for being Hau’s doppelganger, what with the one-syllable name, the same animation movements, and a need to be as strong as *insert family member here*, I feel for the kid.

He ended up fighting Bede and losing badly. And I feel sorry for this guy.

*sighs* Yeah, it’s time I have to see this little asshole AGAIN. Like the fucking herpes, this kid doesn’t go away. What’s he doing now?

Fucking shit, kid!

Welcome to Shinji Matou levels!

I just pray that Bede gets punched like that in this game by Milo or Cinderace or Leon or anyone really.

That’s why I was actually caught off guard when THIS happened.

And he freakin’ strips Bede from being a challenger right in front of us. I’m just, wow. Okay, give a star to the potential bad guy.

Wait, what?

Fuck.

No. Not doing this. Nope. I’m sick of the sad backstory coming out of nowhere to make me feel sorry for a character who has been an absolute pile of shit since the moment you saw him. Hell, even during the PV stage of this game, you knew you were going to hate this kid. So, no. I still hate him. Now that may change as I progress. But for now, fuck him!

Next town!

Okay, officially found the place I would gladly live in the Pokemon world. Well, I’d still be in Pallet Town for certain stalking reasons. But vacation home here!

Time to challenge Opal...and also go through an audition.

I seriously got some severe deja vu here. I thought I time-traveled back to high school, it was that freaky.

Yeah, um, screw you. I like wearing all black. Clefable may be my favorite pokemon, but I dress like a goth-moth 24/7.

Leave me alone about not wearing pink. For fuck’s sake, you tripped me up with your stupid question about favorite colors. How was I supposed to know purple was your favorite color when you keep saying I should wear more pink?

Say it again. Say pink again. I dare you. I double dare you, mother fucker! Say pink one more time!

Okay, I thought I would go straight-up Sam Jackson here. But this is a pretty funny moment. Though this next moment does get a little too stranger danger-y for my liking.

HA!

Okay Bede, don’t come back until you’re back to a tolerable-Trip level.

Back on the journey and I saw...

Many inventive curries.

Another whack-ass, white boy rapper.

The love child of the cactus and centipede from the Mario games.

And...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

MA! CALL THE FUCKING COPS!

THAT FUCKING CAT IS BACK! IT EVOLVED!

Okay, I’m done.

To be continued.

#pokemon sword and shield #pokemon #bede #yamper #chairman rose #oleana #perrserker #bea #kabu #nessa #opal #team yell #marnie #hop #pikachu #flapple #bronzong #pidove

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paragonrobits · 4 years

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concept, the reason Wonder Woman has a lot of incredibly silly, goofy and just plain ridiculous villains (Blue Snowman, Crimson Centipede, Minister Blizzard, ect.) is that she runs on the ‘if you make me laugh, i’ll go easy on you’ rule

if you do things as ridiculously as possible and actually make her laugh, she won’t fight you as seriously, provided you don’t actually do anyone serious harm or really piss her off

she attracts a lot of villains like this because despite her immense power, she actually restrains herself more than similar heroes and plays along. the flash has more Weird Villains, but the Rogues take demarcation on their turf very seriously and their code of conduct can be frustrating for outside villains to work with. Batman terrifies them, but the big problem is that Gotham is a hellhole that makes people worse; one day you come in there to make a villain scheme with crossword puzzles, a month later you’re wearing the skin of murdered orphans. with crossword puzzles.

superman will absolutely screw with you and annoy the HELL out of you and absolutely no one knows if he’s doing it on purpose or not. he will use super speed to dart around and ALMOST hit you, while chanting “i’m NOT touching you! I’m NOT touching yooooou!”. wonder woman might be more willing to kill than him, and thus is more of a risk, but it takes a lot for her to get to that point and at least she’s straightforward. Superman will absolutely troll villains just to annoy them so much they give up on evil.

#wonder woman #dc #superman #batman #queued

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years

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Gray's A Ghosties Host - Phic Phight

Prompt Creator: @latterdaysaintvampire Prompt: During a high-stakes chase, Danny’s parents’ newest invention has shorted out all his powers, except one - possession. Summary: What to do when the boy who possesses your heart is literally possessing your heart?

No warnings Italics means thinking that the other can hear

“What are you doing, Phantom?”, The Red Huntress watches Danny Phantom carefully as he falls out of the sky onto her board. “Uh, not a whole lot of time to explain but you see that”, Phantom points aggressively to the faintly glowing red centipede as he continues, “yeah needs to be stopped and my shit ain’t working, so could I jack your body for a bit?”. Red opens her helmet to gape at him, to which he just sighs, while the centipede draws closer, “over-shadowing, get with the program. All my other powers are fried”. Red throws her hands out to the side, “why the hell would I! I could beat it with my own body better than you could!”. Phantom groans and flails a bit as Red swerves to avoid the centipede, “because you don’t know how to beat the thing and I don’t have time to explain!”. Red glares at him and he makes a pouty face at her, Red facepalming, “fine! But don’t turn off my consciousness or whatever!”. Phantom groans again but nods, quickly slipping inside.

“You know that unconscious shit happens naturally, pretty damn hard to force it not to”

“I don’t care, my body not yours”

“Yeah yeah, now how do I use your goo blaster thing?”

“Right elbow, twitch like you or I or whatever, have an inch”

“Well that’s vague”

Phantom can feel Red mentally glare at him but he just rolls her eyes. Shooting her board forwards and maneuvering it with ease, as he chases after the centipede; which has unfortunately gotten pretty far away by now.

“Phantom, how do you know how to use my board?”

“Uh, I’ve done it before. That and it’s pretty straight forward”

“What! When?! And bullshit I took days of practice to maneuver it this well”

Phantom quickly jerks to the right as the centipede tries to smash his tail into them.

“When I got us out of the zone, when Skulker abducted us. I got you home my way, which yes, meant over-shadowing”

“You ass! But fine, good enough reason”

“And Red, your board is way easier than my tail and that’s attached to me”

Phantom manages to use her blaster after a few tries which he can feel her snickering about. Shooting off the goo to melt away some scales on the mid-back of the centipede. Ducking low on the board he flies them in. Phantom’s kind of glad for the full body suit right about now, since this thing is dripping ectoplasm all over them. Red pipes up again as Phantom is flying them through twists and turns of what’s basically a giant maze, all lined with what’s basically egg sacs.

“Okay this is disgusting, you are helping me get this off my suit”

“It’ll be a lot worse if those sacs burst, which will happen if I, or I guess we, don’t find the right one in about 30 seconds”

“Well you fucking better, driver”

Phantom mutters out loud, “that’s what I’m trying to do”. Flying past one of the offshoot hallways Phantom jerks to a stop, flies backwards and speeds down the hall. Smirking the whole time, “found you”.

“Care to explain why I couldn’t just play scavenger hunt myself?”

“One, I could sense about where it is. And two you can’t just shoot it, that’ll make everything way worse”

Phantom feels quite satisfied with himself at Red mentally grumbling to herself. Phantom starts rubbing Reds hands on the sac and a bunch of lights show up in it. He starts tapping the lights wildly in a specific pattern, that he forced himself to memorise after one too many unpleasant encounters with this thing.

“How many times have you had to do this?”

Phantom completely ignores her, which she mentally glares at him for. But watching the sac turn green and liquify, Phantom grins, “Hell yeah!”.

“More times than I like and here comes the unpleasant part”

“Um what?”

After about a second or two the entire ghost just liquifies into very wet jello like green ectoplasm. Half climbing and half swimming, Phantom gets them to the surface and sits them down on Red’s board, shaking the ectoplasm off her hands.

“This is disgusting, again you’re helping me clean my suit”

“Try doing that without a helmet. Shit gets into everything. And yeah sure, I’m not an ass”

“Well, could you get out of me now?”

Talking out loud, “yeah yeah, sure”. But before he has a chance Red’s suit electrocutes him and results in him knocking Red out cold, accidentally. “What the fuck!”, shaking her head he tries to actually hop out of her but nothing happens. “Oh fuck”, mentally poking Red back into consciousness.

“What the hell Phantom!”

“Your suit shocked me, or us, lost my grip on the not knocking you out thing”

“Fine”

Phantom shifts a bit awkwardly on her board.

“There’s uh, a bit of a problem though. I can’t seem to get out now”

“What! Did you even try?”

“Of course I tried! I’m not an asshole and no offence but I like my own body. Preferably not inside someone else’s, even if it’s you”

“Uh, you’re not half bad yourself but seriously, you can’t get out?”

Phantom nods her head but tries again anyways, this time Red can actually feel him trying to get out but both can tell that somehow the suit is stopping him. Frowning, Phantom flies them into an alleyway.

“Okay that’s weird, it would be really dumb for my suit to have a feature like this. I’m guessing we’re in an alley so you can deactivate my suit?”

“Yup, not about to reveal you in broad daylight”

“I don’t even know how I feel about that, you’ve revealed me before”

“Only to your own dad. To stop you from a damn suicide mission”

Phantom shakes her head and deactivates the suit, or at least attempts to. Talking out loud, “uh, unless this works differently from last time, we’ve got another problem”.

“Oh come on! I bet you anything that weird ectoplasm is at fault here”

Sighing, “yeah probably, I swear I had no clue though”

“I believe you, this doesn’t really benefit either of us”

With a groan, Phantom summons Red’s board out again and flies them both to her place. Landing in her bedroom,

“I’m guessing you have suit repair stuff”

“Yeah, though my suit’s self-repairing, usually. Just grab the diagnostic machine from my closet. It looks like a PDA but red and pointy”

Phantom chuckles as he pulls it out, looking exactly like what she described. Thinking to himself about how Tuck would love to get his hands on this. Flopping down on her bed,

“Now open up the panel on the underside of my left arm and plug it in. It’s just a push and pop, I’m sure you can do that”

“What do you take me for, a moron? Well, you’re absolutely right”

“You’re awful”

Phantom leans them back on her bed as he waits for the machines results. He can’t help but smirk at a couple of the glow-in-the-dark stars on the roof.

“You know, I can fell what you’re doing with my face. What? My stars not to your liking?”

Phantom can feel the sarcasm there and chuckles almost loudly at that.

“Red, my ceilings covered in them. Hell, I’d stick these fake ones on everything if that wouldn’t make me look insane”

“My knowledge on lairs is pretty small, Phantom. Couldn’t you just make literal stars everywhere?”

Phantom laughs again as the machine starts beeping, grabbing it as he responds to Red.

“Pretty sure Amity Park would have problems with me doing that. Might make it hard to drive or live with literal balls of flaming gas everywhere! Even fake ones would make things difficult, for everyone involved”

“Wait, all of Amity is your lair?!”

Phantom nods as he stares at the screen, “Uh, the hell does any of this mean?”. Rubbing Red’s neck, “and yes all of Amity is my lair, though I have my own little room inside Amity as well”.

“That’s major contamination, need a system flush. We’re stuck for a bit and seriously? Why is there such a ghost issue then? Shouldn’t you be able to keep them out or whatever? And you better not be messing with people”

Phantom can feel her glare, though he can tell she’s more curious than genuinely angry.

“You can’t just keep ghosts out, all you can do is make your lair a place they really don’t want to go. Tons of humans is pretty well attracting them, looking to mess around with them. Amity would be a very unpleasant place for anyone but me to live, if I went out of my way to make Amity unappealing to ghosts. And there’s nothing wrong with a prank or two”

Phantom rolls her eyes at Red’s continued glaring, “I don’t mean anything nasty, so chill. You know me better than that, I’d hope”. Sitting up and glaring at the little device, “so system flush?”.

“Just push the green button, red one and blue one, at once. And you’re right, I do know you better than to be mean. Thanks, I guess, for not screwing with Amity. Lots of folks live here. You really are as protective of the people as much as the town, aren’t you?”

Phantom nods and smiles warmly as he pushes the buttons. Jumping a bit at the sudden weird tingling and movement in her bodies veins, but shaking his head a bit amused at Red’s mental laughter.

“Trust me having two or four bodies feels weirder, that was just unexpected. I forget your suit is literally inside you and part of you. And what? You gonna sue me for being a protective little shit. I care more about the people than the town. Buildings can be fixed, people just can’t”

Phantom can’t help but shiver at some old memories. He could feel Red’s shock, though he’s glad she seems kind of happy.

“I’m not sure I want to know what your sudden disturbed feeling was. But that’s good you care about the people. Man, I really used to be a dick to you”

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t really care much about myself getting hurt. And no you don’t, I wish I didn’t. Well, sorta; it’s complicated. Anyway, how long does this take?”

“We are both messes, but about six hours”

Phantom flops them back down on the bed and fiddles with Red’s fingers in front of Red’s face. Blinking her eyes a bit before muttering, “oh well that’s, uh, not actually good, shit”.

“Oh now what?”

“Well, the stupid weapon that shorted my powers is gonna wear off in about an hour. And they’re going to be a bit squirrely”

“So what? You’re just going to use them at random?”

“Pretty much, only easy to use ones though. Might fall through the bed a couple of times or start sneezing ice”

“That is going to be very weird, it won’t hurt me will it?”

Phantom rubs her neck and chuckles awkwardly,

“Uh, can’t say I know for sure. But it is safe to use my powers in someone else’s body. This really isn’t a power I use much”

“That’s just great. Well, try not to hurt me”

“Of course, and I’m guessing you’ll need to sleep at some point?”

Thinking to himself, about how he really needs to himself and he’s not even a regular human.

“Duh, which is going to be a whole new level of weird. Do you even know how to sleep?”

Phantom can’t help but start laughing his ass off, putting Red’s arm over her eyes. “Sometimes I think I don’t, god! But yes, hell yes”

“Not sure why that’s so funny, ghosts don’t sleep so it’s a damn valid question”

“It just is. Just chalk it up as another weird aspect of the enigma that is Phantom”

“How do you manage to be so powerful, horrible and cute”

Phantom coughs, caught a bit off guard, “what was that?”.

“Uh”

Phantom laughs playfully at that complete lack of a response, “well then”.

“Jerk”

“Oh come on, you’re all those things too. I’m just not embarrassed to say it, well, think it; in your general direction. But at least you weren’t 24 years old this time ”

“What? What the fuck? You’re less of a jerk now, but what?”

“What the fuck is a pretty accurate way to describe time travel. You look pretty good with a buzz cut by the way”

“That’s insane, what uh, what was I like?”

“Pretty much the same, didn’t really talk much. You realised I was from the past, called me cute and then passed out”

“Wow, somehow that feels really lame”

“That was the only real highlight of that day. Pretty shit day. Come to think of it, every-time time travel is involved shit gets really messed up”

“You really are a mess”

Phantom scrunches her face up a bunch before lifting her hand to her face, completely invisible.

“Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. How did neither of us feel that”

“My powers are extremely natural to me, like blinking or breathing to you. It can be harder to not use them than to use them”

“That’s weird even if it makes sense, I guess it’s like how I don’t notice my suit doing its thing in me anymore”

Phantom shakes her head but feels a fair bit embarrassed,

“Even from the very beginning, it was like that for me. Half the time I was using my powers on accident and usually didn’t even notice”

Phantom can feel her snickering at him

“Goddamnit that’s adorable, oh hell”

“I like how you go from mocking me, to being embarrassed”

“Oh shut it”

“I don’t think I will”

Red mentally yelps as the two phase straight through the bed and floor. Phantom has to latch onto a ceiling light to keep them from crashing into the living room. Phantom silently watches Mr. Gray walk from the living room into the kitchen, before phasing then back into Red’s room. “Well, that was eventful”.

“More like nerve-racking”

“Eh, nothing much phases me anymore”

“You’re awful”

“Then you must have awful taste in men”

“You’re a child!”

“So are you!”

“You’re a ghost...”

“So what? Why care?”

Phantom sighs a bit as he sits them down cross-legged on her bed, she doesn’t think anything at him for a bit.

“We’re not the same, you’re literally possessing me right now”

“No one is the same, and you have a nanobot suit in your veins. How is that not just as weird as my powers?”

“You, you’ve thought about this before”

“Like I said, or thought, I’m not embarrassed by my interest. Hell, most ghosts and even a few humans, know how I feel”

Phantom rubs Red’s neck, “though I’ve been called an insane idiot many times for it. I guess it is kind of absurd and stupid to be interested in someone who’s trying to kill you”.

“Wait, so you’ve been, interested, in me since almost the beginning? Yeah that is pretty stupid, I really was trying to destroy you”

“Heh, yeah I know. My self-preservation was pretty well butchered by the time you popped up”

“Can’t really say mines all that intact either, but this is just so weird”

“Red, for as different as we are, we are also very similar. Hell, our “jobs” are basically the same. And we’re both out to lunch compared to the rest of our kinds”

“True, I don’t know if this would be more or less awkward face to face”

“You’re the awkward one here, I’ve been owning this shit pretty well publicly for years”

Phantom can feel her embarrassment as he rolls over to stretch out a bit, blinking at the layer of ice they’re laying on, “well there’s an ice breaker for you”.

“Pft you’re awful, it’s not even broken”

“Oh you know better than to tempt me”

“Don’t you dare!”

Snickering, “I’m the scary ghost boy! I do what I want!”

Phantom flicks a corner of the blanket, shattering it off, “HA!”. While Red mentally laughs.

“So, you going to own your shit now too? Or do I need to make more horrible puns for you actually admit you like me”

“God damn you, how are you so just out there? With everything? And yes I’m still hung up on the ghost thing, but you really don’t care do you?“

“Nope, I really don’t. Two humans, two ghosts, a ghost and a human, or something else entirely; I see no real difference. Though, I’ll never get over Boxy getting with the Lunchlady. They're going to be so confused at the baby shower, I fist fought their kid before they even started dating”.

“Oh my god, that is really ew. I think this kind of shit is why you are so self exposed. No matter what weird shit you show publicly, there’s something weirder unsaid or did”

Phantom scratches Red’s head with her hand, “you might just have a point there”. He then flings her hand over the top of the garbage can, clearly seeing the glowing green forming ectoblast.

“Well I hope nothing was hidden in there”

“Why would I hide stuff in a garbage can? That’s asking for it to be thrown out”

“Must you insult me so”

“Seriously? What even are you?”

“A mess that’s what. A spooky mess”

“The spookiest”

“A spooky that you likey”

Phantom puts her hands behind her head and smirks while Red mentally groans.

“So...”

“Oh my god”

Red doesn’t get to properly respond as Phantom snaps her head to the side, ghost sense going off. “It’s been all of three hours”, with a groan Phantom flings them up off the bed and sticks her head out the window to look around.

“What even was that? And what are you looking for?”

“Ghost, that was my Ghost Sense. Goes off whenever a ghost is near”

“Oh my god, you have built-in ghost radar and ghost tracker”

“So do you?”

Phantom jumps about a bit, making sure he can make her body float reliably, as Red thinks at him.

“From nanobots, not my own natural body, but point. And you know none of my suit is usable right now, right?”

Phantom smirks, “yup” as he vaults them out the window. Flying low to the ground, off to where he can sense what turns out to be a snake ghost.

“Please don’t crash me”

“Flying might as well be my number one skill, Red”

“And your powers are being crazy right now, so your point?”

Rolling Red’s eyes, “oh please, have a little faith”. As he shoots off an ectoblast at the snakes head, “that’ll give ya something to sink your fangs into!”. Only to snap Red’s head towards Skulker as he shoots a capture net around the snake. The two, technically three, float there for a bit while Skulker slowly tilts his head. Until Skulker smirks, tosses his catch over his shoulders and gives the two of them a thumbs up, “well whelp, that’s not how I’d go about snagging a lady but a fellow hunter always congratulates another on a successful hunt”. Phantom, snapping back at the retreating ghost, “I asked first, you metal ass”.

“You really weren’t kidding about that either. Am I seriously the only one who didn’t clue in?”

Snickering as he flies them back to her place, “well most humans don’t know and ghosts are horrible gossips, but I’m pretty sure you knew; sort of”.

“That makes no sense”

“I’m an enigma remember”

Flopping down on Red’s bed and crawling under the blankets, “comfy”.

“Glad you approve, not sure how you’ll handle sleeping for the first time in however long”

“Like a very scary baby”

“More like a cute one”

Phantom raises her eyebrow, “Oh is that so”

“Alright fine, I like your ghostly ass ok? And not in the just friend's way. The interspecies thing is still a mind trip though”

Smirking contently into her pillow, “well now I can die happy”.

“Don’t you dare”

“Be happy or die?”

“You’re awful and we’re a mess”

“Well then, I’ll remind the reaper to bless this mess”

“You are an affront to god, now let me or us or whatever sleep”

“Oh you have no idea”

Red wakes up after only an hour or two of sleep, thinking to herself, she’s mentally blaming that on Phantom.

“You still here, Phantom?”

“Yeah, you can’t get rid of me quite yet”

“I think I’m ok with that”

“Same, but I’m still jumping this body-sharing ship when I can”

“Good, cause we so need an out of my body talk, you cute ass spook”

End.

#phic phight #phic phight 19 #Danny Phantom #phantom #fan fic #phan phic #Valerie gray #romcom #romance #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick #team human #possession #over-shadowing #gray ghost

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borisbubbles · 5 years

Text

Eurovision 2010s: 150 - 146

150. O’G3NE - “Lights and shadows” The Netherlands 2017

youtube

[2017 review here]

My love for O’G3NE has tempered itself into a very strong ‘like’, but I still think they have a lot of heart. Their song is a tribute to their dying mother and well, I’m not made of stone.😭 It’s a touching premise and they exectute it very well. However, my personal favourite thing about “Lights and shadows” is of course NOT the classiness, but the lyrics, which appear to be pilfered straight form a dr. Seuss book. The text is FILLED with literal translations of common Dutch idioms and silly middle school rhymes <3 “You’ve been going through these stages // Now it’s time to turn the pages”.❤ It all feels so overhwelming Dutch First Language / English Second Language, and since I love the Dutch almost as much as I love talking crap about them, I can’t help to be charmed. 🤗 ________________________________________________________________

149. Can Bonomo - “Love me back” Turkey 2012

youtube

Ah the rare Turkish entry, we must better show some care for they are a rare entity in this decade.

That said, “Love me back” is utter trash <3333333 It’s one of those party songs that only exists to point and laugh at, but Can executes it in style. Drunken sailor anthem <3 From the caped corsairs that accompany him and turn into an impromptu vessel-

-to Can himself who endlessly bleats on in his ovine voice <3 It’s definitely one of those entries that is a bit too silly to take seriously as a song, but is unashamedly entertaining all the same. 🤗 COME BACK!!! (um once you stopped being homophobic, in 2070)

CONGRATZ TO MANGA FOR BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED TURKISH ENTRY. 🎉

________________________________________________________________

148. Blue - “I can” United Kingdom 2011

youtube

Let me open by pointing out it took seven people to come up with this brilliant chorus:

I CAN I WILL I KNOW I CAN ~Untie these hands~

What on earth are they singing about?

Enter what is perhaps the most comically egotistical performance ever, at Eurovision? I mean, the entire concept behind “I Can” was “Hi. 😘 We’re Blue. 😘 You May Have Heard Of Us. 😘 VOTE FOR OUR TRASHY BROMOEROTIC BOYBAND ASSES!! 😘😘”

Which of course, led to what I deem a pretty enjoyable trashfest. 🤭 Love the short-lived storyline of the UK trying to breathe new life into their Eurovision Journey by recruiting all these stars beyond their prime (Blue, and later Engelbert and Bonnie), and they all did much worse than expected <3

Blue are the best of the three however because they were actually delightfully messy. Naturally, this being 2011, nearly everyone was trashy, but Blue elevate it to an art. The text, as I said, is just jibberish <3 The song is heavily Lee-centric and Lee was hilariously terrible on the night,

(I’m sure the song is just a 3 minute casting tape for his BBUK stint)

-and the staging was a hackneyed, selfie-backdropped self-indulgence. 😍 You know, I make it sound as if I dislike Blue but I love ironically them for the aforementioned reasons. 2011-2012 were not the most enjoyable editions for me, so anyone screwing themselves over with cartoonish level incompetence made the experience less unbearable to me. Thank you Blue, for providing me with a lot of schadenfreude and for being an entry I can trashtalk without wishing death on them and myself. Time to leave the ranking though~

CONGRATZ TO LUCY FOR BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED UK ENTRY! 🎉

________________________________________________________________

147. Saara Aalto - “Monsters” Finland 2018

youtube

[2018 Review here]

GOD I WANTED TO LOVE SAARA. Smash hit dance track with an anti-depression and self-empowerment theme <3 INSTANT LOVE. That a pristine gay unicorn such as Saara Aalto fronts it makes it even better. However, the live left a lot to be desired. Ugh, it’s very frustrating when a song as good as “Monsters” develops a bad case of Anggun Syndrome and derails itself with overexaggerated staging. As a viewer, you are already expected to pay attention to the music, the message and Saara herself, all three of which are excellent and praiseworthy. DO WE REALLY need a bajillion of mediocre staging gimmicks (a spinning platfrom *and* hot dancers *and* shrill backings *and* a flare *and* a death drop* at the end?). It just spoils the broth for me.

Overall though, my feelings hinge more towards “LOVE” than “DISAPPOINTMENT”. Like I said, “Monsters” is a great song and I think 25th place is just plain ridiculous (she should’ve finished 15th place, at LEAST). Saara being spat out by the fandom like she was should count as a CRIME... but not as big a crime as her staging was...x

______________________________________________________________

146. Hannah - “Straight into love” Slovenia 2013

youtube

We are definitely in *that* zone of the ranking where the “Enjoyably bad” lurk. While, “Straight into love” is a mere 7 on the Fusedmarc scale but it’s a hilarious dubstep mess. Hannah’s voice ALONE is a nuclear catastrophe <3 Only entry in Eurovision to feature MORE disaster notes than good notes <3 She even wrote the song herself, yes, that’s right, she can’t even sing *her own composition* 😂 ROTFLMAO. DECEASED. But wait, there is more!!! Of course, I cannot ignore the act of “Straight Into Love” which is legitimately good.

Hannah flanking herself with hot ‘human centipede-esque’ dancers because she knows her voice isn’t going to cut it, so she goes STRAIGHT INTO (gay) LUST <3 Strategic mistressmind. After Eurovision, Hannah would then move on to write "Round and round”, making her the author of a last placer AND a second last placer. WE STAN OUR COMMITED FLOP QUEEN!

#Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision #Slovenia #Finland #United Kingdom #Turkey #the Netherlands #O'G3NE #Can Bonomo #Blue #Saara Aalto #Hannah Mancini #Straight into love #Monsters #I can #love me back #lights and shadows

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loremonster · 5 years

Note

Prompt: Dee and Kenny get into a lively and impassioned debate over whether boobs or butts are superior.

Set Before NKS 01

Readmore in consideration to dash-clogging

[Sent, 10:22] so[Sent, 10:22] t or a?

Kenny was bored. It was the last week of summer vacation, with the first day of Middle School fast approaching. Orientation was tomorrow, his class schedule would be arriving in the mail soon, and the period of sleepovers whenever and not getting his sorry ass up until noon would be replaced with the daily pattern of the bus stop and classes.

The rest of the guys were wrapped up in some end of summer bullshit with Eric, trying to cram their last week of freedom with as much adolescent crazy as possible. Kenny had been right there with them for a chunk of it, but things had escalated, as they do, and he’d ended up with an iron rod through the eye.

At least brain damage blocks out some of the pain in the last few seconds. Take out a chunk of the frontal lobe, suddenly I don’t give a fuck about anything anymore.

He’d flipped on a local radio show to keep abreast of what the fuck was happening in town, just in case things got bad crazy for his friends… but for now, he was content staying in his room, idly texting one of his other buddies who had listened to Eric’s last ditch summer fun plan and walked the fuck out, and browsing the web for a new bikini babe to put on his phone’s home screen.

[Received, 10:23] Ass. Ass until the day I die.

Dee’s response briefly sat atop his screen, making his eyebrows raise up beneath his tightly drawn hood. The fall chill was coming, but it wasn’t cold enough for his parents to turn the heat on just yet. They’d wait for as long as possible to save money on the energy bill, and only heat the house enough to keep pipes from freezing. He shuffled his shoulders up inside his coat, curling up a little tighter on his bed beneath his Sports Illustrated (swimsuit edition) posters.

[Sent, 10:23] rly dude? i get that ur buttlord an all b cmon[Sent, 10:23] titties[Sent, 10:23] soft round bouncy boobies with perky pink nipples[Sent, 10:24] ud take an ass over that?

This wasn’t the first casual debate he’d had with the effectively mute kid over text. Granted, they usually argued over tactics in their partnered work as Buttlord and Mysterion… arguments Kenny soundly won nearly every time. Dee was a lot of things. A strategic thinker? Not one of them.

[Received, 10:25] Everyone has a butt. Asses can be soft like boobies but have a little muscle underneath, so it’s always a firm handful for grabbing, and they’re a lot less likely to have surprise surgery scars.[Received, 10:26] Also its on the backside, less chance getting caught staring[Received, 10:26] Asses forever, boob boi

The barrage of ‘evidence’ from Dee got him to stop scrolling on his web browser, switching wholesale to the messenger app and staring more and more seriously at the words on the screen.

[Sent, 10:27] well evryne has titties 2, technicly[Sent, 10:27] if u got nipples u got titties[Sent, 10:28] and all titties r good titties[Sent, 10:28] even if you cant stick ur weiner btween them[Sent, 10:29] and nipples give u a thing to focus on[Sent, 10:29] boobies = best

[Received, 10:30] HAHA[Received, 10:30] he spends 2 minutes describing perfect playboy breasts[Received, 10:31] and then back peddles to make the ‘inclusive’ argument[Received, 10:31] meanwhile u can stick ur dick between any set of butt cheeks AND REACH AROUND TO MASSAGE THE BOOBIES AT THE SAME TIME[Received, 10:32] Buttz win bitch

A sure sign that Dee was getting into an argument; he dropped his capitalization and spelling habits.

[Sent, 10:33] dude if i start with the inclusive argument asshats start screaming UR GAY[Sent, 10:34] screw a dude for habits, nipples r cute and u’ll never change my mind

He smirked, and decided now was a good time for eggplant spam.

[Received, 10:36] You done?

Nope. Eggplant for days.

[Received, 10:39] I’m just gonna wait until you’re done.

Then you’re gonna be waiting a fucking long time, ain’t ya? I ate a used tampon to get unlimited texting on this phone, motherfucker, and now you shall face my purple wrath.

[Received, 10:41] K, gonna go get my workout in, BBL

Oh, shit.

[Sent, 10:41] No no no[Sent, 10:41] ur the only one active rn[Sent, 10:42] do not condemn me to the boredom[Sent, 10:42] fite me Assmaster

[Received, 10:43] Asses are beautiful and fun to grab[Received, 10:44] And a firm ass is a good indicator that a person gets a healthy amount of exercise[Received, 10:44] Big titties are a good sign that someone either got work done or has back issues[Received, 10:45] I’ll take healthy over painful, thx

[Sent, 10:46] BLASPHEMY

Kenny didn’t even realize he was grinning, certain the utterly hyperbolic argument was about to start back up… but he didn’t get a response right away. His all-caps cry remained as the newest message for a full five minutes; a time in which he started off mildly annoyed… and then concerned.

[Sent, 10:53] dude u ok?[Sent, 10:54] i didnt mean it truce alright?

Still no answer. It was weird; Dee usually announced when he was dropping out of a one-on-one text conversation. It was a courtesy Kenny had gotten used to, even if it was kinda weird for a guy friend to observe the social niceties over text.

A sense of dread grabbed the bottom of his spine, making him sit up a little straighter in bed as a vague anxiety worked it way between vertebrae like the many tiny legs of a centipede. Each individual tip prickled his skin along the way.

Finally, there was an answer.

[Received, 11:02] Text Wendy. We have a situation.

Creeping dread was shed off with a heavy exhale, but the next inhale brought in a more serious sense. Dee’s situations were a regular issue… and when the kid suddenly stopped answering, Kenny had been well and truly worried that one of those situations had gotten to him before they could do something about it.

They weren’t just partners. They were friends. He cared about the guy. Cared enough to put his immortal ass in front of government agents and take the occasional bullet for the fucker. Sudden radio silence was shit that made him paranoid, but now that tension could turn to something a bit more proactive.

[Sent, 11:03] on it

#writing prompt #NKS #fanfiction #South Park #South Park Fanfiction #Kenny McCormick #The New Kid #SP New Kid #Dee #Alyssa Ostenmayer #the almighty grayface #Ask the Author

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makeste · 5 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 139: Deku and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hallway

Previously on BnHA: The cops and Nighteye’s pro hero group took about nine pages to approach Overhaul’s house, only to be stopped by some massive troll of a man before they could ring the bell at the front gate. Everyone was all, “HOW DID THEY KNOW WE WERE COMING?” while ignoring the fact that there were like 70 guys all conspicuously gathered outside this place for like an hour prior to them getting started. Ryuukyuu turned into a dragon and I wanted it to be like this, but so far all she really did was hold the guy down with one of her big dragon claws. Which to be fair was still pretty cool. So she and her group are staying outside to deal with the cave troll while the rest of the heroes head on in. Meanwhile in the secret underground labyrinth beneath the house, Overhaul plotted to have his underlings stall the heroes while he made his getaway. And this is why you don’t ring the fucking doorbell before invading a mafia capo’s house. Just FYI.

Today on BnHA: The heroes finally make it inside the house! So thrilling. Nighteye uncovers a secret passage, and the heroes proceed down below. After smashing their way through a blocked wall, they discover a hallway doing its best impression of that Salvador Dali clock painting. This apparently is the work of one of Overhaul’s henchmen, Mimic, whose quirk allows him to enter objects and control them. Apparently he shot himself up with some Trigger and became a “living labyrinth.” Since Mirio is the only one not physically deterred by this, he activates his quirk and runs ahead before the others can stop him. The rest of the group suddenly falls into a big hole that opens up beneath their feet, landing in a room with three more henchmen. The pros get ready to fight, but Amajiki holds out a hand to stop them, saying he’ll be the one to take them down.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 171 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. My son the musical prodigy.)

okay, time to get back on this. some holdover thoughts from the previous chapter since I’ve had a couple days to reflect on it:

why the hell didn’t everyone wear kevlar or some shit. you know you’re going up against enemies that will be shooting at you, and if they hit you you’ll lose your quirk. it blows my mind that the pros didn’t suit up with extra body armor knowing this

even worse, because of the way the house is designed, they’re basically going to be sitting ducks. they only know one way in and out of the lower levels of the house. seeing as it’s underground, that means lots of long, narrow tunnels and hallways. they’re in just about the worst strategic position they could be for a raid like this: the enemy knows they’re here, and unlike Nighteye’s team, they actually know their way around the hideout. meanwhile the raid team is inevitably going to either have to split up and get themselves lost, or stick to this stupid plan of taking the most direct route possible to get to Eri, and meanwhile have bad guys shooting quirk-destroying bullets at them the entire way

that being said, they should stick Kirishima out in front and use him as a human shield lol

(ETA: to be fair, the only one that actually ends up getting hit is another one who is normally for all intents and purposes bulletproof. and in his case kevlar wouldn’t have done jack shit because he would have ended up shedding the vest anyway due to his quirk. so fair enough, but the others should have still geared up. no one cares about safety huh)

all right. so let’s see just how screwed these guys actually are

okay so we’re opening with the mafia dudes demanding to know what’s going on, and the cops explaining that this is a raid suckas

the lower level pros are holding the mob guys back while the cooler pros go on ahead

FG’s apologizing for not stopping to take off his shoes since this is an urgent situation. how fucking rude. tracking in all that dirt

oh my god

fucking kidding me with this shit. Bubble Girl in the lead? she barely even has a shirt, let alone any type of armor? is her quirk defensive in any way? let’s hope so

is Nighteye’s quirk even active again yet? right now he’s just a guy in a suit, isn’t he? although he did work with All Might for years, so he probably does have wicked combat skills that we just haven’t seen yet. hopefully

(ETA: wicked combat skills and a six-pack)

I can’t even see Kirishima in this shot. jeez. ridiculous

so as they run, they’re all discussing how the bad guys seem to have known they were coming, and that this is Not Good

I don’t really care about what Aizawa is saying in this panel, but I like that he’s right next to Deku

taking that promise very seriously. well good, since we all know that literally the instant Aizawa lets him out of his sight, Deku is somehow going to end up facing the final boss or something

(ETA: fucking uncanny, though. every fucking time, Deku)

anyway, so they’re logically concluding that Overhaul and the top brass must already be in the basement either hiding all their shit or getting ready to escape

this makes Kirishima very angry

well yeah, Kiri. but bad guys gonna bad guy

still, if it gets you fired up, you go ahead and feel that righteous anger boy

and now Nighteye’s stopping at a random panel in the wall and says this is it

oh, cool

please be a secret door please be a secret door please be a secret dooooor...

yay!

oh shit lol

never mind. close it

ughhhhhhh the centipede guy is using his quirk nooo whyyyy

he’s picking up two of the guys with his centipede arms

to me this is a fate worse than death

WHYYYYY

now Bubble Girl’s using her bubble quirk!

she’s... making bubbles. from her body

they’re floating over to the last bad guy

and they popped in his eyes and he’s screaming “my eyes!!!”

are these... are these just normal bubbles

I don’t really get it but hey! at least it’s not centipede arms!

so she’s restraining the dude and telling the others to go on ahead

and down they go. off to the garden of madness

except that almost immediately they’ve come to a dead end??

this doesn’t look like a normal quirk though. maybe someone has a wall-building quirk? similar to what Cementoss has?

(ETA: this is most definitely Overhaul’s reassembly quirk)

anyway, Mirio says he’ll take a look

oh my god. I finally get to see just how Mirio deals with immediately shedding his elaborate costume and then having to put the whole thing back on again later

oh snap

WELL ISN’T THAT FUCKING CONVENIENT. OKAY THEN

so if Mirio can have a costume that phases with his quirk, why can’t Hagakure have one woven out of her hair that turns invisible along with her? is it just because Horikoshi is a pervert. okay then

(ETA: I’m not even gonna bother getting into this anymore, but just know that I am rolling my eyes at this obnoxious fucking mangaka so damn hard)

anyway, so Mirio’s taking a peek and then reporting back that the path up ahead is exactly like Nighteye described. he says the wall is very thick though

oh, riiiiight

I keep forgetting about the “reassemble” part of Overhaul’s quirk

oh well. time to bust a wall

lol, FG and Static are like, “whoa”

I think this is the first nice thing Static has said about any of the kids

oh shit. now there’s something else happening

the floor is getting all weird and uneven? like it’s getting all warped somehow

well this is. annoying

(ETA: actually, “annoying” is the mildest, nicest, most undeservedly polite way possible to put it)

my god I hope none of them is claustrophobic. or ends up being claustrophobic after this, because I sure wouldn’t blame them

the head police guy says this has to be Irinaka’s quirk. that’s the HQ chief

so wait, is that the little guy from chapter 132 who made an arm grow out of his head??

and it doesn’t even sound like they’re sure it’s him

although FG points out that if he got all doped up on quirk enhancers, this isn’t outside the realm of possibility

oh snap! it is him!

oh my god. “I’m not on the ship. I’m in the ship. I am the ship”

LMAO at Fat Gum though

what kind of pathetic excuse for a pro hero can’t even predict that a guy is going to turn into a basement

he’s asking Aizawa if he can erase the quirk, but Aizawa says he can’t without being able to see the quirk users’s body

hold up, does this mean illusionists would be immune to Aizawa’s quirk?? because that is some bullshit. (which I now really want to see)

Amajiki seems like he’s starting to psych himself out here. he’s muttering out loud that if the path keeps changing, they’ll never reach their goal, and the enemy can easily get away

oh shit, it seems like he’s starting to get overwhelmed...?

hey, hey. easy there bud. you guys got this

OH SNAP MIRIO TO THE RESCUE

what a manly dude coming to the rescue of his bro who was starting to freak out. I love Mirio so much

ahhhhhhh he says he can still go on ahead as long as he knows the right direction

ahhhhhhhh I’m suddenly so fucking worried?!?! HE’S SO BRAVE AND I’M TERRIFIED FOR HIM

SON OF A BITCH HE JUST TOOK OFF JUST LIKE THAT BEFORE THEY COULD STOP HIM

oh my god. in the first place, isn’t he blind whenever he uses his quirk? don’t all of his senses disappear? so he can keep pressing forward, but like what happens if he turns the quirk off because he thinks he’s made it through, only he hasn’t made it through? because this isn’t an illusion, as far as I understand it; the Mimic guy is actually warping the passageway

oh my god. forget just the characters; I’m going to end up becoming claustrophobic at this rate

(ETA: yeah this still nopes me out thinking about it. Mirio’s definitely braver than I am, that’s for sure)

but at the very least, Mirio bravely pressing forward seems to have snapped Amajiki out of it

hey guys, guess who ships the shit out of these two now btw. yeah that’s right. me that’s who

so Mimic is thinking that he can’t stop Mirio, but that even if he does make it through, “he won’t be able to do a thing by himself”

idk about that. you should’ve seen what this freak of nature did to almost the entirety of class 1-A in a matter of seconds. while naked no less

wait. this is starting to sound a bit eyebrow-raising. I promise you it was a g-rated beatdown though

oh snap, Mimic is warping the ground and dumping all of the important characters deeper into the basement while closing up the path back up

well that’s nice. so now they’re all sealed up in this death chamber. cool. that’s cool

not that I want it to happen, but a part of me is wondering why Mimic hasn’t just crushed them all yet if he has control over this entire basement

so are they purposely trying to keep them alive? is it to avoid as much legal trouble as possible? are they hoping that if they just incapacitate them, Overhaul can later use his quirk to wipe their memories like he did with that Tarantino gang?

incidentally, every now and then I wonder to myself why someone as intensely rational as Aizawa would keep his hair so long and not just cut it short or tie it back to keep it out of his way. and then panels like this come along and it’s just, “oh yeah, because it’s hot”

(ETA: but ain’t it the truth)

so yeah, they’ve landed in this pit and now here’s some more bad guys!

literally all they have to do is have Aizawa incapacitate them with his quirk one by one and have Deku or Kiri punch them. the rest can sit back and take it easy

(ETA: the fact that they refuse to follow this most sensible of plans throughout the entire arc is one of the more frustrating things about it)

oh snap, but it looks like someone else is finally ready to jump into action after seeing his boyfriend disappear down the enchanted hallway of doom

WELL SHIT, LET’S FUCKING DO THIS THEN. TIME TO EAT SOME SUNS

also. that flashback panel though. that was a middle school uniform. these two have known each other since childhood just like Kacchan and Deku. omggggg

AND MIRIO USED TO HAVE A FUCKING PONYTAIL. TALK ABOUT A 180 DEGREE STYLE CHANGE. NIGHTEYE THIS IS YOUR DOING, DON’T LIE

BONUS:

glad to see the minds that brought us the yaoyorictionary and ochachakaleg are back at it again

so what exactly is the point of the lemilliohelm. I don’t get it. “it was designed so he could put it on quickly and then inevitably have it fall off again almost immediately”

consider my interest piqued at the mention of him being rescued by a hero in the past, though! I went back just now and looked at his flashback in chapter 152, and yeah! now that you mention it!

also! BnHA kids really need to be more careful on flashback bridges because those things are slippery as fuck

so can we get a name for this guy who saved him and inspired him to become a hero, then? I’m super curious about him now

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