#CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW ALYSSA WAS LIKE ‘WE BOTH LOST SOMEONE’

[hoss-bonaventure]

i think it’s so ridiculous how they basically coded trevor and mike’s relationship to be like they’re scorned lovers of sorts and have harvey act like capulet-ian about their relationship ONLY to have him end up with jenny like wtf is that about???

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: After being a guest on the podcast, you thought your communication with Zach was over with, but that was until you got a certain texts from a certain someone.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, dealer!Zach, mentions of smoking weed, being high, friends to lovers, cuddling, cute actions, fluffy and smutty, unprotected sex, biting, hair pulling, handjob, fingering, sensual filth

Word count: 3.7k | not edited

Sorry this took so long, I’ve had writers block for days. I hope it’s okay, love yas! Enjoy! 🖤

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You walk through the door, “Hello, hello.”

“Ahh!!” Tara says excitedly, “I so happy you’re here!” She walks over to you and you embrace her in a hug, “I’m so glad you reached out, again, thank you!”

“We’re so excited to have you.” Tara says as she leads you over to the seat, “You can have the honor of sitting next to Zach, he’s probably going to target you today anyway. I think he has a little crush on you.”

You roll your eyes laughing as you sit, “Yeah, I seen how he is. I watched a few videos to kind of catch up on everything.”

Zach and Jared walk in and Jared is the first to greet you, “Hey, y/n. How are you?” He walks over and you stand back up to hug him, “I’m good, busy. But good. How are you?”

He nods, “I’m good.” He steps out of the way and you gasp, “Oh my goodness.”

Zach smirks, “Sheesh, I know I’m attractive but no need to make it a big deal.” You shake your head as you walk over, laying a hand on the head of the dog in his arms, “I was talking about the dog.”

Zach nods ever so slightly and his voice is low, “I know.”

You smirk, scooping the dog from his arms, “You just lost your dog.” You walk back over and sit down to put on your headphones, hands going right back to love on the dog in your lap.

“So, this is your first time meeting Zach right?” Jared asks and you look up, giving him a nod, “Yep, first time, I mean. I think we’ve followed each other on Instagram for a little bit.”

Zach holds his hand up and tilts his head, “Oh, so we have decided to pretend like last night didn’t happen, got it.”

Your mouth drops and you gasp, “Zach.” You laugh, “Don’t do that.” Tara raises her hand, “Actually, y/n was with me last night.” She looks at you, “Can I say it!?”

You smile, nodding your head, “Yeah, go for it.”

“So for those of you who don’t know who y/n is, she has multiple brands, a swimsuit line, a make up line-“

Alyssa cuts Tara off, “Which are both really good by the way.”

You smile and blow her a kiss. She pretends to catch it and you laugh and Zach scoffs, “Get a room.”

“Wow. I don’t know who Zach is more jealous of today, Alyssa or Handsome for being in y/n’s lap.” Jared laughs and Zach sighs, “Have you ever heard of the term, think before you speak?”

“Have you?” Tara and Jared yell at Zach in unison and you cover hour mouth, “I’m so glad I showed up today.”

——

Followers in each others Instagram lists is what you and Zach have been to each other for a while.

You’d like his stuff when you seen it, vice versa.

You couldn’t lie when you said his posts didn’t put a smile on your face, or make your heart skip a little beat when he posted a picture he looked a little too good in.

You’ve been newly single these last few months, and you just knew that you were set out to get nervous around anyone you found attractive.

But Zach didn’t make you nervous.

He made you feel comfortable.

You felt like you knew him for as long as you followed him on insta. It was weird, but yet, so refreshing to just have someone talk and joke around with you.

There only thing that was serious about it, was the tension you hoped no one picked up on, but with being a, basically five star rated influencer, you had a fan base that picked apart every thing you did.

So in the long run, you wouldn’t be shocked if you woke up to you and Zach trending on twitter or have new edits posted that ship the two of you that your friends would send to tease you.

Your phone rings, pulling you from your thoughts.

You sit up from your bed and reach over, furrowing your brows when you see a number displayed across the screen.

You answer, kinda skeptical, “Hello?”

“Y/n?”

You pull your head back, slightly shocked, “Zach?”

“Yeah thank Tara for leaving her phone laying around.” He chuckles and you laugh, “You could have just asked for it, you know?”

He sighs, “Yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t just do that.”

You smile and tilt your head, “So, what’s up?”

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, “Do you.. want to come over?” He quickly follows up, “Just to hang out.”

The words roll off your tongue with major ease, “I would love to just hang out with you.” You tease, “I’ll text you when I leave.”

——

You pulled back up to Zach’s, chewing on your lip as you text him, I’m here.

He responds back almost instantly, like he was waiting for you already, Come in through the studio door.

You get out, making sure you have everything before you walk towards the door. As you grow closer, Zach pushes it open, giving you a smile, “Hello again.”

“Hey.” You smile as you walk past him and into the house. He nods towards the steps and you follow him, making your way up to his room.

He motions for you to go in and you oblige, walking in, and you know his eyes are on your eyes, but you can only smile.

You turn around as he closes the door and he licks his lips, “So if I did my research right..” he walks over to his nightstand and opens the door, “C’mere.”

You walk around and your jaw drops as the sight in front of you, “Zachary Justice.”

His head snaps towards you, “What?”

You smirk, shaking your head, “What a plot twist you are.” His eyes look around the room, “Not following.”

You sit down next to him and you lean in, “Are you a..” your voice goes barely audible, “..drug dealer?”

He turns his head, his lips inches from yours, “I stay away from the harder shit, so..” he purses his lips, “that would just make me a, weed dealer then?”

You nod slowly, eyes flicking from his lips to his eyes, “I supposed it would, wouldn’t it.”

He smiles, looking back down at the box in front of him, “I can roll us a blunt if you want, a joint. Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“Well, how m-“

“Mm.” He shakes his head, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” You laugh slightly and he looks at you, a smirk toying with his lips, “Offer to pay. If I wanted you to pay, I would have gotten the money first.”

You bite your lip, “Okay.” You swallow, “We can just do a joint or something. Doesn’t have to be much.”

He nods, pulling a pre-rolled joint from a thick plastic bag, “Okay.” He nods towards the bed, “Make yourself comfortable.”

You look at the bed and back to him, “You.. you’re gonna smoke in here?” He nods, “Or whenever you’re comfortable. I usually just do it here while watching a movie.”

“Do they know?” You start to kick off your shoes, “Jared and everyone else?”

Zach nods, “Yeah, they get from me, so they keep it hushed.” He slips his shirt up over his head and walks over to you, placing the joint between his lips as he lights it.

He takes a drag and hands it to you, “I’m going to go get some snacks, tray is there. Remote is here. Make yourself at home, sweetheart.”

You smile, taking the joint from him, “Thank you, Zach.” You watch him walk out before you place the joint between your lips, taking a much needed drag.

You hold in the smoke, eyes glancing over the screen as you look at the movies. You tilt your head back letting out the smoke as you slowly feel the buzz of being high creep its way in.

You hear the door open and tilt your head up, “That was fast.” You take another drag, eyes watching as he walks around to his side of the bed.

He chuckles, setting down the stuff he brought, “Did you pick a movie?” He looks up and over to you, you nod, handing him the joint, “Uh huh. I was just-“

You pause as you watch him take a drag, “-waiting for you.”

He nods, “so nice.” He smirks back at you and hands you the joint. You press play as you take a third hit, really feeling relaxed now.

You move back towards the headboard, leaning up against it as you move around to get comfy.

Zach glances back and shifts over and back to lay between your legs, his arms hooked under, so his hands rest on top of your thighs.

You look down at him, smiling as you take another hit.

You reach down, placing the joint between his lips and he nods his head when he wants you to pull it away.

You sit up, putting the joint in the tray before you slowly lean down. Your free hand on his cheek as your press your lips to his, mumbling out, “Blow.”

He exhales and you inhale the smoke from his mouth.

You peck his lips quickly before sitting up to exhale, “Sorry. I’ve always wanted to do that.” You explain and he tilts his head back to look at you.

You glance down at him, “I had a feeling you’d be okay with it.”

“The only thing you had a feeling about today?” He asks and you shake your head. He bites his lip, nodding his head slightly.

You clench your jaw as each movement of his neck resting against your clothed crotch area sends shivers up your spine.

“I figured I’d take a shot because your eyes..” he smirks, “Your eyes said you were feeling it, too.”

All you can do is nod slowly. Your hand moves to his hand and your run your fingers through the brown stands as he stare up at you, “Talk to me, baby.”

His quiet voice makes you feel weak.

“I feel it.” You whisper out, eyes moving to his glossed over ones, “I’ve never.. felt this way with someone before.”

“It’s nice, right..” Zach laughs weakly, “When you fall so unexpectedly for someone and they feel the same way back.” His hands slide down to give your knees a squeeze and you clench around nothing from the action.

He knows he’s teasing you, but he’s waiting for you to make the first move. Or, for you to tell him to stop, which is something you won’t be doing.

He smirks, looking back at the tv. A little bit goes by and he’s now laying with his arms on either side of your body and his head rested on your shoulder.

His forehead is resting against your neck and you’re nervous now, and the urge to swallow is screaming at your loudly.

You don’t want to seem nervous, but if this goes you know in your gut it’s going, you can’t help but be nervous.

“You know.” Zach says, finally breaking the long silence. You hum in response and he chuckles slightly, “Weed.. be perfect together.”

You giggle slightly, “That’s cute.”

“Get it.. weed..” he laughs weakly and gets serious really fast, “Please don’t leave.”

“I’m not going to leave.” You run a hand through his hair, “You’re cute. You have good weed, and you make me laugh? Please. You’ll have to kill me to get me away from you.”

You feel him smirk and he pulls your body closer to him, “Good thing I don’t want a murder charge.”

You laugh and almost like muscle memory, plant a kiss to his forehead. Instantly, he retaliates with a gentle kiss to your neck.

Neck kisses are your weakness.

You test it again, planting another kiss on his head. He kisses your neck again, and again. And again.

You let out a little moan as he sucks gently, his teeth grazing your skin, “Mm, you like that huh?” Zach’s voice is low in your ear.

You nod, a hand sliding to the back of his head, “Yes.”

He starts kissing your neck again, his hand sliding up to push your sweatshirt up your stomach slightly. Your muscles twitch under the light brush of his finger tips and you gasp, whimpering out as you feel his teeth sink into your skin.

You moan, body pushing closer to his as he kisses up to your ear, “You sound so pretty.” He gently bites down on your bottom lip before his fingers slide to the bottom of your sweatshirt, “Can I go under?”

You raise your brows, “Such a gentleman.” Zach smiles, pecking your lips in between kisses, “I.. just.. want you.. to be.. comfortable.. and.. relaxed, baby.”

You go to sit up and he cups your cheek, bringing you back to him, “Let me do it.” He sits up and quickly but gently takes off your sweatshirt.

You bite your lip and lay back down, Zach lays back down besides your and slips his arm under your head as your leg goes over his hip.

Your hand moves to rest on his neck as your lips meet again, but this time the kiss was hungry.

His hand slides from your thigh to your ass and he pushes you in to meet his hips. You moan against his lips when you feel his hard bulge press against your clothed cunt, “Please.”

He moves his hand from your ass and brings it up to squeeze your boobs, going back and fourth between them.

You tilt your head back, moaning out as you grind down onto him, “Zach..” your tilt your head forward, “P-please.”

He slides a hand down between your bodies, leaning his back so he has room to slip his hand into your sweats and panties.

Your breathing grows rapid as you await the needed touch. His fingers slide down to press onto your clit and your breathing gets caught in your throat as your hips buck forward slightly.

“That what you want? Does it feel good, sweetheart?” Zach asks against your lips. You whimper out, “Feels so good..” you reach down to push his hand down a little further, “Need more of you.”

He waists no time fulfilling your request.

Two of his fingers slip into you, causing a groan to rip from his own lips, “Fuck, you’re so tight just around my fingers.”

Your eyes roll back as his fingers curl to reach that perfect little spot, “F-fuck.” Your chest pushes into his and he groans, “Can you cum for me?” He kisses your neck, “I want to get you off, sweetheart.”

“Close.” You whisper out, “Keep going.”

“Think you can take a third, baby?” Zach asks and you nod eagerly, “Please, please, please.” Your voice is whiney, “Fuck.”

You feel Zach’s two fingers withdrawal but they’re quick to return and you moan louder as the slight stretch you feel as he thrusts them into you slowly.

“F-fuck.” You gasp out, arching your back as Zach leans down and takes your nipple into his mouth.

His tongue flicking and swirling over sends you over the edge, squeezing his fingers and moaning continuously.

Your hands tangle in his hair and tug, earning a groan that vibrates your nipple that’s between this teeth.

He guides you through your high, kissing up to your lips before he pulls his hand out of your sweats.

You wanted more of him.

You grab the waist band of his sweats and tug on them, leaning in to have a turn with his neck. He groans as you kiss and lick upward, whispering quietly in his ear, “I want you to fuck me.”

His cock twitches against your hand, “if that’s what you want.” He whispers as he grips your hand and pushes it down harder.

You squeeze and pull your hand away so you can roll over to take off your sweats and panties. You turn back, shocked at how quick Zach was to take the rest of his clothes off.

“I know, I’m quick.” He smirks and grabs your arm, pulling you back into him. He pulls the blankets back up around your bodies before moving to roam the newly freed skin.

You tilt your head up, lips searching for his. You weren’t sure if it was just because of your connection with him, or the fact that you were high, but you feel so needy for him.

And Zach loved it.

He drapes your left leg over his hip as pulls you closer, his lips connect to yours. You moan against his lips as you feel the head of his cock brushing up agains your soaked opening.

Your nails dig into his back as you whimper, rolling your hips into his, “Baby.”

Zach grips your hips, pulling you down as he pushes his hips upward. You gasp, jaw falling slack as you feel him slide into you.

You look at him, brows furrowed as you slide your left hand to his cheek.

He breathes out quickly before smashing his lips to yours, “Fuck you feel so good.”

You moan against his lips, walls clenching his cock as he thrusts in and out at a slow pace. He had you feeling so good within a matter of seconds, the way you felt from the high mixing in made you feel like you were on top of the world.

Nothing mattered but Zach.

No busy work days.

No constant emails, calls, and texts.

Your world was silent for a moment, for the first time in a while.

“Fuck.” You whine out, digging your heels into the back of his thigh, “Gonna cum.” You smoosh your lips to his, moaning against them as you cum undone around him.

“That’s it, baby.” Zach whispers as his hands press harder into your body, “Just let go for me.” He presses his lips to your forehead before resting his own against yours.

He slides a hand up to your cheek, running his thumb over it as he groans lowly. You slide your thumb to his lips, pulling it down slightly as you moan out, your voice soft when you speak, “You sound so hot.”

He groans at your words, moving to bury his face into your neck as he thrusts into you deeper, “Keep talking, please.”

Your hand slides around to grip the hair at the nape of his neck, “You make me feel so good, Zach.” You gasp when you feel his hand slide down to rub on your clit, “Fuck.”

You tilt your head back and he lifts his head to attach his lips to your skin. You squeeze his cock, earning a moan from him.

You smirk slightly, “Does that feel good?” You tilt his head up to peck his lips and he nods, “Fuck, baby. Yes, so good.”

His hands grip your body and he rolls on top of you, your legs instantly locking ankles on his lower back, “Where do you want me?”

You arch your back, moaning out as he keeps his thrusts as steady as he can, “Just.. pull out if you can.”

He nods, connecting his lips to yours again. You drag your nails up his back, and he thrusts his cock into you, “Sh-“

You feel his cock quickly disappear from you before feeling his cum pool between your hips. He lifts his head from your shoulder and kisses your cheek before he gets up to get something for you to wipe off with.

Your eyes follow him as you regain your breath. He hands you a towel and you smile as you take it.

“So do you want to start the movie where you started distracting me or?” He looks at you with a smirk and you roll your eyes as you sit up, “Hey now. I’m not the one who started the neck kissing.”

“But you did start the kissing.. I mean, the whole sucking the smoke from my mouth?”

You feel your cheek redden and you fight back a smirk, “Mm.”

He nods, slipping on his sweats before bending down to grab his shirt for you. He crawls on the bed, “don’t think I definitely didn’t pick up on that little peck before you backed away “

You roll your eyes, laughing as you take and slip on the shirt, “whatever helps you sleep at night, honey.” You look over at him and he leans back, pulling you with him, “I’m sure hoping it’s you now, but.. yeah.”

You smile, leaning into his body and watching as he hits play, “If that’s what you want.” His hand moves to intertwined his fingers with yours, “If it’s what you want, too.”

You squeeze his hand, “It is.”

——

A little bit into the movie, you’re laying on Zach with your head on his chest and you let out a quiet sigh, “Thank you.”

His thumb moves over your shoulder, “For what, sweetheart?”

You laugh slightly, “Well, not only getting yourself hired as my new dealer.” You smirk and look up at him and he looks down at you, “Oh yeah? Who says I’m taking new clientele.”

You roll your eyes, “Please. I have you wrapped around my finger.”

“And I love every second of it.” Zach leans down and pecks your lips, causing you to smile and giggle slightly, “And for making me feel like a normal person for once.”

He brushes hair from your face, “I figured you could use a little time out of any sort of light, hence why it’s so dark in here if you didn’t- yeah.”

You reach up, laying a hand on his cheek, "Gosh, how lucky am I? You do have a sweet side, Zach Justice." You scrunch your nose, smirking slightly as he smiles at your joke, "Do you think people will judge me for falling for my weed dealer?"

He reaches up lazily hold your wrist as his head turns to press a kiss to your palm, “I only care what you think, baby.”

——

Thank you for being patient.. I’ve had major writers block this last week or so and I’m trying to push through it. Let me know how you liked it!

As always, I love you all! Thank you for reading!🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[dailycass-cain]

I have time, at last, to talk about Spirit World #1! So what did I think about the issue and all the Cass within it?

I do like that this series is two-fold where you have both plots where Xanthe/John Constantine are trying to figure out a way into Spirit World and you have Cass venturing into the world itself.

Spirit World itself is a fascinating place because you can have all sorts of wonky mystical creatures inhabit it or have it as another plane of the afterlife. It just works perfectly.  Like these two sisters who pester Cass early on in the issue. The sequence reminded me of a mixture of "The Bride with White Hair" and the "Evil Dead" movies. I almost was expecting a viewpoint from the sister who was pursuing Cass's pov as the latter is dodging her.  Given how she's crackling on how she'll devour her even to the bones.

What fascinates me is how the spirits can tell of her moral qualities and well how it makes her a greater meal. Which writer Alyssa Wong leans heavier when Cass is saved by folks who know of Xanthe and Cass tells them how she got here. It's a little moment but artist Haining captures how slaying the creature still weighs HEAVY on Cass.

It's something overlooked (aka JL Elite), or not shown as much (DCeased: Dead Planet hinted at it but never fully went there).  

Even a mythical creature so many years old and evil, and it still destroys Cass inside that she had killed it.

Once again, Wong just GETS the character of Cass.  In ways that make me squee. Like, part of me hopes we get SOMETHING of Cass's past rearing their head in the Spirit World in good or bad.

I know my friends discussed a theory that the mysterious "Mr. Hong" who shows up might be someone whose a voice Cass recognizes be this bastard.

Honestly? I'd be down with that as it would separate David Cain from the mercs that seems like a ocean of them at this point.

However, my own theory, if someone is gonna show up from Cass's past, would be:

I mean that would be chilling to have a soul you murdered showing up as a spiritual lord in Spirit World.

The action has even consequences for after death they became nastier and more powerful.

The other possibility is well...

I know it's highly not gonna happen. But I just feel like Cass meeting Carolyn would be neat.  You could have the Wu-San sisters being forces both in the Earthly and Spiritual worlds.

I think the reason why I want a Carolyn showing is more due to well Rebirth's lost plot of her being a self-help guru and even in death Carolyn is mending fences.

Anyway, another element I do love is Wong weaving TWO of Cass's other identities.  Both one with a sly mention of Orphan and the other basically being a better Black Bat design.

Then again, I feel this new outfit is a clear homage to fan art attempts of another costume for Cass. But hey it keeps something flowing around her belt area. Even if it isn't a scarf. 😝

As for Po Po and Bowen interest me as both characters remind me of Studio Ghibli characters. I think for Bowen it's the mark across his chest we see.

It highly reminds me of the demonic mark Ashitaka had in Princess Mononoke.  Is it a sign of he was feasted by Spirit World creatures before Po Po saved him?

Po Po is another character that fascinates me as well as she (and Bowen) are connections to Xanthe's past. I like how it's all connected and the way Wong spins the stories as we learn one aspect of the new character's past and we get another with a cliffhanger.

Not only that but teases of just when Xanthe became nonbinary as her mother deadnames them by issue's end.

Like, I'm glad Wong is showing the origin of Xanthe in full both in glimpses on the Cass side, while also in their attempt to save her.

This was a REALLY good first issue that continues introducing a really intriguing new character to the DC mystical mythos (with their own area to play with) that intertwines with Cassandra Cain and something that the character just well barely has ever dealt with: mystic hijinks.

Like we sort of did (in the tail end of her ongoing) aka one of the worst stories involving the character. So I'm glad Wong is taking something that was once a negative for Cass writers and finally going back to the well with a better story.

The fact that so many fans are talking about it. Shows just how much Wong has got us, and they've barely even brushed the surface of Spirit World and even gone into full details with Xanthe.

The only negative, I could even think is the most minor of nit-picks. In that, I hope Bowen doesn't become another male love interest for Cass. He does look a little smitten of her with what she's done. Buuuuut...

Given the little glances we have of him, I don't think Wong will do that, unlike other writers in the past. I think that's why many are thinking that angle. I think Wong is going for subversion here.

Regardless, I highly enjoyed this series and if you're looking for a new angle of DC mystic this really was something! BUY THIS BOOK AND SPIRIT WORLD #2 NEXT MONTH!

[strangedreamings]

S2E7 (spoilers abound)

Addam, you'd better come clean about your parentage soon. The guy probably doesn't even know his dragon's name.

Alicent bemoaning that she served her House (it's telling that she didn't say "family") and the Realm her entire life only to be cast aside. Honey, did you really think you'd have a different fate than countless other noblewomen? You did, didn't you? Pathetic.

Fucking hell, woman, you want go sightseeing in the Kingswood (a huge forest outside of KL) with no one accompanying you but one member of the Kingsguard? You have a death wish. Or maybe she really does have a death wish and wants to either kill herself or have him do it. That's not in the book but that hasn't stopped the writers before.

Larys and Ironrod talking about Seasmoke. Larys really wants to dismiss this? Granted, it took a game of telephone for the info to get to Ironrod, but still, he's not being a very good Master of Whisperers if he dismisses rumors like that.

Ser Alfred's being a contrary shithead again. Can Seasmoke eat him, please?

Mysaria suggests looking at the Targ bastards. Finally!

Corlys, just acknowledge your bastard(s) and put everyone out of their misery.

Young Oscar is brave enough to stand up to Daemon but wise? Nah. Still, keep an eye on him. Can he tell Daemon's lost his fucking mind? Unclear, but he doesn't trust him one bit, good. I just checked, Oscar survives the Dance in the book. Let's see if the writers will give him that.

Hell, he might not even survive this gathering of the Riverlords.

Forget what I said, Oscar's very wise for someone his age. Let's just hope he can keep his head (literally and figuratively). He's making Daemon "dispense justice." Daemon is looking every one of his 48 years (which is interesting since Matt is 41), the stress is really getting to him.

Did Daemon imagine this whole thing? Alys and the curse are really getting to him.

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously, Daemon?

Half-dead Viserys who actually sounds pretty lively and is making a lot of sense.

Speaking of half-dead, hi, Aegon. Your PT isn't going very well.

Corlys semi-acknowledging his bastard son Alyn. Interesting.

Rhaena going dragon hunting. This can't end well.

Alicent's camping trip. She doesn't want to go back and I don't blame her, but honey, you can't stay in the woods forever. Go to your mom's family's place, Brightwater Keep.

Whoa, Jace is getting racist on us. Or maybe the writers were trying for "snobbish," but a white man calling a Black man a "mongrel" can never be seen as anything but racist. "What are we then?" Well, you're a bastard half-Targaryen, Jace, which actually makes you no better than bastard half-Velaryon Addam. At least Addam's not being a pissbaby about it. Honestly, the Battle of the Gullet can't come soon enough.

Oh, Jace, your mother should fucking slap you for how you're speaking to her right now. "And now you say you will strip that from me too." When did she ever say that? Jace, you are so full of shit. You may have a Targaryen mother but you are no Blood of the Dragon.

Ulf. I don't like this guy. I get the purpose he serves in the narrative, I just don't think he's interesting.

Is this blacksmith claiming to be a son of Saera Targaryen, courtesan sister of Daemon and Viserys' parents Baelon and Alyssa? If so, they've changed Saera's story quite a bit. She wasn't just a courtesan, she was THE courtesan in Volantis. Hmm.

So their daughter did die. Yeah, she looked like she was at death's door the last time we saw her. Still, it's sad. Oh, this guy's Hugh Hammer, that makes some sense.

Okay, that's a lot of Targ bastards. Why stop at just two dragons, Rhaenyra? Grey Ghost, the Cannibal, and Sheepstealer are also available, though their riders would have to both claim and tame them.

Vermithor's turn for a barbecue, lovely. Hey, Hugh, is gaining a dragon worth losing your wife?

This idiot Ulf got lost in the caverns. Did he just step on an egg? He's pissed off Good Queen Alysanne's dragon Silverwing. She's claimed him? Great.

Ulf has taken it upon himself to fly Silverwing to KL. Or maybe it was Silverwing's idea and he's just along for the ride, he doesn't seem to be controlling her at all.

Aemond, I really hope you're not thinking of facing a dragon on horseback. You're not that stupid. Oh, there's Vhagar. Poor thing just wants to retire. So the two of them follow Ulf and Silverwing to Dragonstone, THEN Aemond decides to turn back? Whatever.

Nice seeing Syrax, Vermithor, and Silverwing in one shot.

Preview for the season finale. "The Prince Regent is angry, there is no telling what he would do." Larys, have you been paying attention SINCE SEASON ONE? Aemond is ALWAYS angry.

Aemond wants his grieving sister to fly into battle? Honey, she's never even SEEN a battle, let alone participated in one. Does she even know "dracarys"?

Well, the finale will be interesting, at the very least.

[wonder-kid-pugh]

They are Always with Us - (Christen Press X reader)

Everyone was anxious this camp. Of course they were. The World Cup was only a few months away and roster selection was only around the corner. Which meant that every camp mattered. You needed to come and prove that you deserved a spot on that roster.

But that wasn't the only reason everyone was anxious

"Is she here yet?" Ali asks in a quiet whisper to the table which consisted of me, Ash, Pinoe, Becky, Alyssa and Alex.

Pinoe shakes her head slightly. "No. She and Tobin are arriving soon. Tobin flew out to her so she could keep her company and so they could come together".

Alex let's out a low sigh as she runs her hand through her hair. "Gosh. I wasn't sure if she would come or not. I don't know if I would be able to do it if I was in her shoes".

Ash stabs at her food as she shrugs, "I mean the World Cup is just around the corner. Every camp matters at this point".

"I know but we would all understand if she wouldn't come to this one. I mean she just lost her mom..." Alex says before trailing off at the moment end.

It was the sad reality of the situation. It's only been a month since Christen's mom passed away. We all knew how close she is with her family especially her mom. And to be honest we didn't know if she would come to this camp. It really killed us all to see the usually happy smiley and optimistic forward so sad. I remember attending the funeral with Tobin to offer support for Christen. It was crippling watching Christen leaning into her dad and sisters so devastated.

"Do we know who she's rooming with?" Ali asks again trying to move on the conversation quickly not wanting to dwell on the sad truth.

Everyone shakes their head and shrugs before I voice quietly. "I am". Everyone's head snaps to me in mild surprise. I guess they all thought she would be rooming with Tobin.

"Just make sure to give her the space she needs this camp. And maybe just keep an eye on her" Ali advises me with a small smile while I just nod. And with that the conversation swiftly moved onto talks of the World Cup.

After finishing up my food I throw away my trash before deciding to go to my room for a nap. But my eyes widen when I see one of my best friends standing there in front of me. "Tobin! Hi I didn't know you were here yet".

She gives me her signature big grinned smile as we both hug. "We only got here a short while ago. Was about to go get food. Christen said she was tired and went to take a nap in her room".

I nod as I bite my lip fiddling with my phone in my hands. "How is she?"

Tobin sighs letting out a huge huff of air as she scratches the back of her neck. "Didn't speak much to me on the flight or anything. I think she's still trying to come to terms with it. I think she just wants to busy herself now to distract herself". Tobin gets a cheeky smirk on her face, "She did say how she really wanted one of your big bear hugs though".

Of course Tobin knew about my crush on Christen. The three of us hang out all the time and caught me staring at Christen.... multiple times. That and Tobin was practically my sister of course she knew.

I can already feel my face burn as Tobin winks at me. "Shove it Tobs". She laughs a big belly laugh as she nodded her head towards the room. "Seriously though I think she would really like to see you".

I nod as I move towards my room, "Sure I'll see you later Tobs". She nods as she walks into the elevator, "See you later Lover girl".

I throw a middle finger back at her over my shoulder as I hear her cackle before the lift door's close. As I opened the door to our room I peak my head in, smiling when I see Christen was already passed out on the bed. But it's soon replaced with a frown as I see how exhausted she looked with subtle tear tracks on her face.

I move to plop down on my bed next to hers. But freeze when she starts to shuffle on the bed. She flips over onto her side so she's now facing my bed. A few loose strands falling into her face. I carefully and gently go to brush them out of her face and smile as I see her subconsciously smile before nuzzling her face into the pillow cuddling further into the blanket draped over her.

I climb back onto my bed ready to take my own nap. I stare at the ceiling for a bit. Usually if I was roomed with Christen I would be a nervous wreck. Worried I would let slip my feelings for her. But right now I can't focus on that. Right now she just needs me to be there for her. And as I drift off the last thought on my mind was that it didn't matter.

Cause Christen Press is way out of my league

---

I yawn tiredly as I stretch my arms over my head until there's a loud pop from my back. Media days sucked. They were always long and tiring.

And as much as I love Alex being paired with her both was awesome and sucked at the same time. Cause when I'm paired with her most of the questions get directed towards her with allows me to just sit quietly and answer a few questions as I wait for time to pass. But it almost meant everyone wanted to talk to her and so it always over ran and took forever.

So when I was finally released from media hell I couldn't wait to just curl up and crash for the night. Or maybe talk to Christen.

I would have been perfectly happy with either or.

Cause we haven't been able to fit in a proper conversation since she was already down in the meal room when I woke up from my nap. So apart from a small smile and a hug we haven't gotten the chance to really catch up.

As I'm digging around my sweatpants pocket for my room key I'm pulled from my task as I hear someone call me from behind. I turn to see Tobin and Mal walking towards me. "Hey guys".

Tobin grins at me, "Looks like Media has you dead on your feet". I just give her a blank 'really?' look causing the two to fall into giggles.

"Yeah well then your paired with Alex it seems like it's never ending media" I sigh. "Honestly I don't know how Alex does it. I'm pretty sure she answered the same question in about 6 different ways".

Mal scrunches her face in a small grimace. "Ouch. Media days are always kinda sucky. All we did was play Mario Kart all day".

I pout while the others once again laugh at my misfortune. "Lucky for some". My eyes flicker to my door as I swallow already feeling the heat from my cheeks. I clear my throat playing with my hands as I drop my voice slightly. "So uh have either of you seen Christen yet?"

Mal just shakes her head simply while Tobin gets a wicked grin on her face her eyes filling with mirth and glee. "No. But last I heard was that she was going to the roof".

When she winks at me I know I've been caught and rub the back of my neck shyly at Tobin let's out a big laugh while Mal looks between us confused. Swallowing back my embarrassment I shake my heat hoping the blush would die down quickly. "Uh I'm going to go check on her. Make sure she's okay".

But obviously Tobin sees through that as she winks at me. "Go get her Tiger".

I narrow my eyes at her and slap the back of her head as I walk past get towards the stairs. But wince and speed up when I hear Mal.

"Wait what?"

It takes a second before I hear Mal gasp and release a small "No!" Along with Tobin's hearty laugh. I mentally groan at the fact now Mal knows about my crush on Christen. Mentally working it out in my head how long is it going to be before the rest of the youngins as well as the entire team finds out.

Many many many stairs later and I'm finally on the roof. But now we come to the difficult part. What many people don't really know is.

I may have a 'slight' fear of heights

So when I look to see Christen leaning over what looks to me as a really rickety railing I can already feel my heart start to pound and I haven't even left the doorway.

So instead on focusing on how high we're up at the moment cause the thought alone makes me feel dizzy, I focus on Christen. How she has her arms crossed leaning on the silver metal railing. How she's wearing a pair of shorts and a loose and baggy shirt. Which upon further inspection I realize is mine. I smile thinking how many of my clothes she must had stored away somewhere.

Any time I bring it up she would always unapologetically smile at me as she wrapped her arms around herself and argue that my clothes were always warmer. But that's probably to do with the fact that I'm taller than her and my clothes are always bigger and baggy on her which makes her ten times cuter.

She had her long curly hair tied back in a ponytail keeping her hair out of her face and splayed out on her back. Except for these small strands near her face which are flying around due to the wind.

For a split second her elegance and beauty had me in such awe that I forgot about my fear

"Are you okay?"

I instantly curse myself out in my head. Of course she isn't okay. How stupid could I be. I physically wince at my stupidity but Christen just looks at me from over her shoulder and sends me a small smile before looking back out over the railing.

I gulp and pull at the neck of my jersey hoping that would help me breathe but it doesn't. Swallowing hard I take tentative steps towards Christen. Once I make it beside her I grip the railing hard with what could only be described as hanging on for life or death grip. With the railing in both hands I force myself not to look down and just breathe.

I only open my eyes when I see Christen sigh and step back still holding the railing but moving so that she now has her chin on her arms against the railing peering up at me through her eyelashes

Oh sweet Jesus

"How was media day?" Her voice is soft and light but still slightly strained.

I shrug being as brave to tap my thumbs against the railing in an attempt to distract myself. I fail. "You know. The usual. Long. I just let Alex do the talking mostly. Which is easy cause who would want to talk to me with her in the room?"

I meant it as a joke but obviously she doesn't find it funny as she frowns at me. "Your still important too Y/n/n".

I blush and make the mistake of looking out over the railing and then settle for looking at my shoes. "I...I know Chris. Just...". I sigh, "Who would want to talk to me when you have Alex Morgan in the room?"

I can see from the corner of my eye that she pouts at my statement before leaning her head against my bicep making me tense. "Well no offense to Alex but I much rather talk to you all day than Alex". She gives me a cute smile as she looks at me sideways. "Especially if it means I get more if those special bear hugs".

I bite my lip and look down but in doing so I accidentally ended up looking over the railing and down all the way to the ground. I felt like I wanted to keel over and just barf. My vision was starting to go wavey. The only thing keeping me upright was the fact that I knew Christen had other things on her mind to be putting up with my shit and the fact I was holding onto the railing so tight I was surprised there wasn't a dent in it.

There's a small silence. It was peaceful. The only noise there was the wind and the slight flapping of out clothes. And while I was trying to figure out what was best to say I guess Christen could see right through me.

"I miss her" she says softly distracting me from the urge to spill my guts over the railing. Her voice cracked slightly at the end. Accompanied by a tiny sniffle at the end. And I could see her look up and blink rapidly no doubt fighting back tears. "I miss her a lot".

I frown as I watch the person I love so much start to crack and crumble slowly. I open my mouth hoping to provide some sort of comfort but nothing comes out.

I sigh as I run my hand over my hair before I gently put my hand on hers. "I know Chris. I know". I close my eyes and take a deep breath before deciding to disclose something that not many people know about. "Have I ever told you about my family?"

I wait as I watch her think for a second before shaking her head. I dig around in my pocket for my wallet before I pull out a small picture and hand it to her. I smile as I watch her handle it so delicately. "I know everyone thinks Tobin and her family are my family, which I suppose is kinda true. Cause in College Tobin and her family practically adopted me into theirs". I point at the picture. "But that's my real family".

I can see Christen furrow her eyebrows in confusion as she looks at all the different people in the picture.

I look at the picture over her shoulder and smile fondly remembering the day it was taken. "This was taken the day I got my first call up to camp". I take a deep breath before I look away knowing what her reaction is going to be. Cause everyone has the same reaction when I tell them. "I came back from practice one day to see the entire orphanage had thrown me a party to celebrate".

And just as I expected her head pops up in surprise and her eyes widen

I can see how her mouth opens and closes several times but no words come out. I mean I understand that's usually the reaction I get from people. That and pity.

I shake my head smiling softly at her. "I didn't tell you to get sympathy or anything like that. It wasn't that bad. I mean it had it's moments and money was pretty tight most of the time but I have pretty awesome brothers and sisters". I wait a second as she continues examining the picture. "Did you know your mom knew?" I ask quietly.

Now that gets a reaction as her head snaps towards me and she stands up properly. "Really?"

I nod with a smile. "Yeah. Once I told her I wasn't related to Tobin she asked where my parents where and I told her the truth". I chuckle a bit as I rub my thumb over her knuckles. "She didn't treat me differently at all. All she did was hug me and she always invited me over for the holidays". My smile drops slightly, "I wish I had taken up at least one of those offers now. She truly was amazing".

"She never told me" she whispers quietly. She looks as if she's replaying all the conversations she had with her mom trying to think if she ever mentioned it.

I squeeze her hand. "I asked her not to tell you. I always thought she would but I guess she kept her word".

Christen looks down. "It was always important to her. Keeping her word".

I smile brushing some of those fly away hairs from her face and behind her ear. "It just made her even more incredible than she already was".

Christen looks down as she clasps her hands on a long beaded necklace. It takes me a second before I recognize it to be her mother's. "I really miss her".

And it seems that was what breaks the dam as her voice breaks and tears start to leak from her eyes. She starts to curl in on herself before she burrows into me. I hug her with one arm the other still holding tightly to the railing. But as I feel her tears start to wet my shirt I chide myself and ignore my fear and throw my arms around her holding her securely into my chest. I whisper small coos and reassurances in her ear as her sobs eventually start to die down.

As she stops crying she nuzzles her face into my chest making me let out a content smile. "Sorry".

I rub my hand in small circles on her back as I squeeze her tighter into me. "It's okay. Nothing to be sorry for". She looks up at me gives me a teary smile before her hands stop on my chest and she scrunches her face. "Y/n/n? Your heart is pounding. Like it's about to jump out of your chest?"

At that reminder my right hand goes back to clutching the railing while the other rubs the back of my neck sheepishly almost like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "Well" I stutter. "I might...kinda...have a fear of heights and we're really high right now and-"

Christen's eyes widen before she chuckles and takes my hand pulling me away from the railing and back to the center of the roof well away from the edge. I can already feel my vision getting better. "Why didn't you say so? You would have comforted me just as well from here".

With red cheeks, I shrug shyly scuffing my shoe against the ground only looking up when Christen giggles.

"Well that was really sweet of you Y/n" she smiles before she bites her lip. "Honestly I thought it was maybe... because of me". She scoffs quietly. "Stupid right?"

I blink at her owlishly trying to register her words before they finally click. Did she just....?

"What? No! I-I mean I..." I stop stumbling over my words and take a deep breath as I see her smile clearly amused at me. "I mean yes my heart was beating fast because of how high we are up. But I do like you and if we weren't this high up and there was a threat of me getting throwing my guts up right now you would definitely have my heart racing. I just always thought you were way out of my league. I mean your....you".

She bites her lip as she smiles and shakes her head at me as if I'm telling some bad corny joke. I gulp hard as she steps closer to me as I stay frozen in my place. "You never give yourself enough credit Y/n. I never understand how you can't see how amazing you are. I mean you came all the way up here, even though your terrified of heights, just to check on me". I see her eyes flicker down to my lips, "I think that's amazingly selfless of you".

And before my mind can catch up she leans in and kisses me softly at first as her hands lean up again my shoulders. As my mind slowly starts to comprehend what's happening my hands slowly move to her waist as I kiss back.

She pulls back only to come back for another kiss moving even closer so there's practically no space between us. Her hands move down and untuck my jersey from my joggers. I gasp as the kiss starts to get more intense and I have to hold myself back from letting a moan slip through my lips. Everything is better than I could have ever imagined. But while every part of me screams to let this continue. I know I can't keep letting this happen.

I pull back breathing heavy and I can see Christen inch in for another but using my grip on her hips I hold her back. Her eyes furrow and scrunch in confusion and concern as she searches my face for any tells.

I sigh screwing my eyes closed for a second trying to prepare myself. Not wanting to fall for those green eyes before I open my eyes. "Chris I would love nothing more for us to continue this. Like you don't know how much this pains me". I look into her eyes sincerely, "But I know your not in the right place right now. Your still getting over your mom and probably stressed about the World Cup and everything".

I can see her features ease at that but she's still slightly hesitant. "I promise you I would love nothing more to keep doing this. I just want to give you a little time to make sure this is something you want and not because your sad and want something to distract you. I don't want to take advantage of you like that".

With that Christen nods and smiles while on sigh glad I was able to convince her of my intentions. "Your too good Y/n".

I just smile down at her as I take my hand. "I just want what's best for you Chris....even if you decide that isn't me".

I move her hand to my chest directly over my heart. "But just so you know that I was being serious". I let her feel how fast my heart was beating. Even faster than when I was over at the ledge. "See? No where near the edge and you will have my heart racing. All systems were ready to go. And when I get back to our room I'll definitely need a cold shower".

I smile brightly as Christen bursts out in giggles trying to hide them behind her hand. "Gosh you make me laugh even when I think it's not possible anymore".

"I will make a fool out of myself everyday if it means I get to hear you laugh" I tell her honestly giving her hand a small squeeze. She smiles and gives me one small chaste kiss.

I smile into the kiss before we break apart and lean my forehead against hers. "Just remember. The ones who love us never really leave us". I point to her heart, "They'll always be in here".

She opens her mouth and scrunches her nose at me trying and failing to hide a smile blooming on her face. "Did you just...."

But before she could finish I nod. "Quote Harry Potter? Yes. Yes I did".

She giggles at me and gives me one last peck before pulling me by the hand back to our room.

"C'mon you dork I want some special bear hugs when we get back to our room".

[frodo-with-glasses]

Hey, not sure if it would be too late to send in another friendship ask, but if not, could you do 3, 5, 10, and 13 with Bilbo and Frodo? I absolutely adore their relationship, but unfortunately we don't see a whole lot of it in canon and it's surprisingly underrated by the fandom! Thank you! 😊

Not too late at all! Let’s talk about my favorite adoptive relationship ever!

3. “A random headcanon I have of them”

Aside from the obvious one—that they both wear glasses—I’m gonna say that Frodo got his Dad Sneeze from Bilbo’s side of the family too. It’s just a Baggins thing that every time one sneezes in Hobbiton, you can hear it clear across to Tuckborough.

(Maybe a sneeze is what upset Drogo’s boat.

….Too soon??)

5. “A scene I wish we had of them”

Oh, you don’t know how much I yearn for a detailed record of those months Frodo spent with Bilbo in Rivendell before the Quest really got underway. Frodo was still at least 95% himself at that point—touched by the Morgul Blade, and wisened by the encounter with the Barrow Wight, and burdened in the back of his mind by the duty of the Ring, yes, but still mostly himself and whole. Those were the last few months that Bilbo and Frodo got to spend catching up on the literal decades they’d been apart, before Frodo went off on his Quest and was irrevocably consumed by the Ring.

Alternatively, I’d love to see them hanging out in Valinor too. But Rivendell takes the top slot for me because it’s just closer to “real life” in a way, and Tolkien’s brief description of it just makes my heart ache.

10. “A song that reminds me of them”

The great thing about these asks is that it forces me to go out and look for new songs! I don’t listen to a lot of music myself, so this broadens my horizons. I looked up “songs from parent to child”, and I gotta say, the lyrics of “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts are just painfully ironic in all the best ways. I recommend this cover by Alyssa Falcone if you, like me, are not a huge fan of country twang.

13. “What I think would have happened if they had never met”

Oh eesh. Uh. Middle Earth is destroyed, probably??

I mean, if Bilbo and Frodo had never met, then Bilbo would’ve had no heir to whom to pass on his Ring. People smarter than me have pointed out that the Ring’s consumption of one’s mind seems faster or slower depending on the “evilness” of how one acquired it—for Gollum, who murdered to get it, it consumed him immediately; for Bilbo, who tricked and stole to get it, it slowly took hold on his mind; for Frodo, who was given the Ring as a gift, and took it up as a willing burden, it didn’t manage to get a hold on him until total and utter exhaustion and desperation had worn him down on the slopes of Mount Doom.

If Bilbo didn’t have someone he loved like a son and treated like an heir, to whom would he give the Ring? Who would take it up with the same kindness and purity of heart that Frodo did? Who would have the moral goodness and integrity to resist its allure all the way to Mount Doom? Who would have slipped past the Enemy’s defenses as undetected as he was? After all, if you don’t have Frodo, then you don’t have Sam, Merry, or Pippin, and that means no Hobbits in the Fellowship, whose chief talent was slipping in unnoticed and making massive changes everywhere they went.

The obvious question is, “Well, what if Bilbo took the Ring to Mordor?” To which I say, I don’t think he could. Aside from being far too old to do much traveling once the Ring’s true nature was discovered, I think its hold on him was already too great. He would’ve succumbed much sooner, and again, Middle Earth would be destroyed.

I think, if Bilbo and Frodo had never met, then the world would’ve been lost forever. Gandalf was right when he said that, in a way, Bilbo was meant to have the Ring, and that Frodo was meant to have it in turn.

(And people wonder why I have such strong positive emotions about adoption LOL)

FRIENDSHIP ASK GAME!

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Life Was So Much Easier When I Only Cared About Myself - Legacies x Noralise!Daughter!Reader

There's A Place Where The Lost Things Go

B/m/n = biological mother’s name

The fire was put out, Josie was long gone, something was up with Raf, and Alaric had just called for a morning assembly.

"I know you are all worried. Believe me, no one is more worried than I am. My daughter Josie is still missing. But even as I speak, we are doing everything we can to find her..."

"They enjoy their speeches here, don't they?" Nora yawned, bored of hearing Alaric talk, whilst Mary-Lou smirked at the similarity between you and her fiance.

You zoned out of Alaric's speech about Josie to glance between Hope and Lizzie, shivering as you remembered what day it was and what day kept getting closer.

The twins' 17th birthday.

5 more years until The Merge.

"But first, we just have to find her." Alaric finished his speech as the doors slammed open.

"I'm right here, dad." Josie announced, floating instead of walking down the stairs, as you and Hope stood up.

"Why is she-"

"Well, don't look so shocked, do you really think that I would miss my birthday? Oh, I'm sorry, our birthday." Josie replied, brushing a piece of hair behind Lizzie's ear.

"So, what did I miss?" Josie asked, as you glanced at Hope, who glanced at Alaric.

"Oh, bloody hell. These children can never have a moment, can they?" Mary-Lou grumbled as B/m/n sighed, watching you intently.

///

"What are you going to do?" You asked as you both watched Kaleb save MG from being desiccated by Josie via siphon.

"Check your angel notes. I'm going to Doctor Saltzman." Hope replied, watching as you teleported to the hidden room in your room.

"'Check your angel notes' it's not like the ton of witch grimoires I have, kind of limited research here... because Malivore ate my father and probably every other angel besides me... can I even... I'm half witch, which should protect me- Oh god, that's why she's back, she thinks it's just a guideline!" You blurted, disrupting your own rambles as you forgot all about teleporting, instead choosing to sprint down to the gym.

"What is she talking about? Her father, Malivore..."

"The Merge."

Your blood ran cold as you spotted the banner.

Happy Merge Day.

"Oh god..."

///

"Lizzie's right, we need to find a witch that can help her... I'm tempted to ask Y/n, but-"

"No need, Y/n will be riling herself up about the Merge happening 5 years early. If we want to know if I will win, I know exactly the witch who can tell us." Lizzie interjected, not realising how you'd stepped away from the door, fiddling with your ring as you teleported back to your room.

///

"I don't need a crystal ball to tell you, that Josie is gonna tear you apart. The Merge is a battle of wills. The simple fact that you're afraid of winning and losing makes you a dead duck." Alyssa Chang explained as Lizzie frowned.

"Are you seriously telling me that I'm going to die because I became a better person?"

"Ironic, isn't it?" Alyssa snarked as Lizzie's voice got louder.

"Well, in that case, screw personal growth, okay? I am going back to looking out for number one. To being selfish. To hell with the Merge." Lizzie concluded as Alyssa smiled.

"That's the spirit. Live long and prosper, kid."

"She won't, and neither will you." Josie announced as the door opened, raising her hand and snapping Alyssa's neck.

///

You sprang up from where you were sat on the floor in your room, feeling a wave of darkness wash over you before realising.

Josie had killed someone.

"Did she just-"

"Sense a death... her powers are changing."

///

"I knew Josie was dangerous, I just didn't think she was capable of something like this." Hope admitted as MG spotted Alyssa's body.

"Her dark alter ego had no problem murdering in the therapy box, I don't know what you expected but the Josie we knew is going to need a whole lot of therapy after all of this. Especially if she wakes up and realises what she did."

"When, not if." Hope corrected you, but you just glared at the floor.

"I'm half angel. Every moment Josie parades around here full of dark magic, my angel magic gets stronger and it hurts. If you don't do something, and someone else dies, I will go toe to toe with her and remove that dark magic. That's plan C, even if it kills me in the process." You paused as you saw Hope's eyes drift towards the therapy box.

"I don't think that's how Y/n can die permanently."

"What are you talking about?" Nora asked B/m/n who pointed out the flaw in your plan.

"Nature's loophole. For angels die and stay dead, it's specific, luckily, nobody knows how to kill an angel permanently anymore."

"You can try, but I was aware from the moment I was in there last time. Got a tattoo to prove it. The box doesn't work on me." You replied, teleporting away as Hope sighed.

"She's a bundle of fun today."

///

"It's party time, Stallions. Report to the gym, or else!" A familiar voice ordered over the intercom.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." You growled, turning your head from where you were sat in your room.

"Bloody hell."

"Not him again."

///

"Who should I kill? Vampires? Maybe witches? How about some werewolves?" Josie glanced around, pointing at everyone from her spot in the boxing ring.

The doors slammed open, revealing the hero of the hour, the tribrid herself, Hope, front-flipping into the ring.

"Why not try all three?"

///

"What the bloody hell is going on?" You shouted, gaining Jed's attention as you entered the gym, spotting Hope losing to Josie.

"Why isn't she fighting?" Jed asked, but you huffed, running your hands down her face.

"Hope's a first born Mikaelson, and the Tribrid... she goes all out, she'd kill Josie in seconds, maybe even wipe out the school... but watching this go down is just cringey." You explained, licking your lips as the incendia spell from Josie hit the corner of the ring, igniting it into a perfect point for a stake.

"How convenient. They know if Josie kills Hope now, Hope doesn't die right? She'll become the full Tribrid." You whispered to Jed, who's eyes widened in realisation.

"Can an angel turn into a vampire?" Mary-Louise enquired as B/m/n sighed.

"It's possible, if you want a guaranteed... how did Dorian put it... ah, a ripper. Angels, like Y/n, are full of humanity. It would be a travesty to turn an angel into a vampire." B/m/n admitted, giving Nora the realisation that B/m/n knew more about angels than she was letting on.

Almost as if, her Malivore memories were coming back. Her memories of Angelo. But how?

Jed was about to answer when Josie yelled for everyone to shut up.

"Did you really think you'd be the one to bring out my good side? I don't even think she likes you." Josie snarked, trying to throw Hope off but your clapping caught everyone's attention as you teleported into the ring.

"Ironic, since Josie did crush on Hope that one time. Oh, Jo Jo... don't underestimate hybrids." You stated, deflecting Josie's attempt to hover Hope in the air with a flick of your wrist.

"She's angry."

"She hates the Necromancer, what do you expect- did he just look at us?" Nora pointed out as the Necromancer moved his head in their direction.

"So you finally figure it out, ey, angel? You really are your father's daughter." The Necromancer cackled, letting out a groan as you threw a ball of light at him, your other hand holding Hope.

"You really came in to be the hero?" Hope grumbled playfully, but you just winked.

"Nah, I'm your guardian angel, remember? Plus I think your family would be pissed if you went fully tribrid on them at 18, if we're being honest." You pointed out as Hope rolled her eyes at you.

"Angels, seem so hard to kill permanently, but really it's simple..." Josie taunted, smirking as you glared, about to attack again when the doors opened for the third time.

"She's bluffing."

"She better be bluffing."

"I should have mentioned this earlier, but black really isn't your colour." Lizzie announced, siphoning MG so that attacks were nulled.

"You're late to your own funeral." Josie replied, stepping forwards as your heartrate began to quicken, your grip on Hope alarming her as she realised.

"No, I am right on time to kick your ass." Lizzie affirmed, full of confidence as you were the opposite.

The Merge was your worse nightmare.

"Y/n..."

///

"Y/n, go with Jed." Hope whispered, giving you a reassuring look as you were frozen, following the werewolf out of the gym as Hope and MG remained to watch The Merge.

"I can't watch." B/m/n turned away as Nora and Mary-Louise grimaced, memories of the Gemini Coven in the front of their mind.

///

You froze, gripping Jed by the arm as you felt it.

Lizzie.

Hope.

Landon.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"I've got you." Jed affirmed as you wobbled on your feet, trembling slightly.

///

Facing Darkness is Kinda My Thing

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

DSMP Anniversary Recap: THE DISC WAR

 Chaos breaks out across the server after Sapnap burns Ponk’s Lemon Tree…

The server’s first all-out civil war.

---

VOD LINKS:

Tubbo

Purpled

Ponk [unavailable]

Tommyinnit

Punz [unavailable]

Sapnap

---

Late the previous night, Sapnap came online and set Ponk’s Lemon Tree on fire.

The day starts when Tubbo logs onto the server.

---

- The previous stream, Tubbo lost all his belongings. Chat tells him to check Ponk’s tree and Tubbo runs over

- As he approaches the second Lemon Tree, he sees that it’s on fire. Tubbo quickly towers up to try and put it out. He thinks that it’s his fault and worries that he’ll get blamed for this, as he’s the only one on the server at the moment

- Tubbo tries his best, but by the time the fire is out, the tree is in ruins. He learns that Sapnap is responsible. Tubbo goes back to his house to get wood to patch the tree up. He rebuilds the broken section of the tree 

- While he’s out gathering logs, he notices a little chick following him

Tubbo: “Oh my god, I’m gonna name you Benson! You look like a Benson.”

- He throws a couple eggs at the chick to try and get it to walk after him and one of the eggs hatches into a second chick. Now there are two Bensons

- Tubbo does his best to continue fixing the tree. Ponk logs on. Tubbo tells him he is sorry about the tree. Ponk logs off. Some time later, while Tubbo is mining, Ponk logs back on

Ponk: someone is gonna pay for this

- Tubbo tells him he tried his best. Ponk tells him to save it for court. He says he’s gathering evidence, then logs back off again

- Afterwards, Tubbo goes back to the forest with some leads to retrieve the Bensons. He picks one of the Bensons to gift to Punz and brings the other one back to his house

- Tubbo works on building and Purpled logs on. Purpled wanders around the SMP, trying to find his way around the server. He goes up the path to Tommy’s house and wonders where to set up his own house

- Ponk logs on again, and this time Alyssa does as well

- Purpled runs into Alyssa by her house while riding a llama. He joins VC with Tubbo, who fills him in about Sapnap stealing Tommy’s Netherite and setting Ponk’s tree on fire

- Alyssa tells Tubbo he owes her a diamond. Tubbo goes to her house to talk. Meanwhile, Sapnap logs on with murder on his mind. Tommy left signs at Alyssa’s house framing Tubbo for taking a diamond. Tubbo proves it wasn’t him by getting his first diamond achievement

- Ponk is scared to find that Sapnap has OP gear and asks Alyssa to lend him her horse. Sapnap says he will kill her. As Sapnap chases Ponk, armored with Tommy’s Netherite and diamond armor, Ponk asks Tubbo to help him

- Sapnap asks Ponk to apologize, but Ponk doesn’t want to after Sapnap burned his tree. Ponk borrows Alyssa’s horse. Alyssa protests because Sapnap might kill it, but Ponk says Sapnap wouldn’t

- Sapnap comes over and tells them that this is his and Alyssa’s house. He tells Ponk to defend his tree and runs back down the path

- Sapnap kills Alyssa’s horse and then Ponk. Tubbo wonders if this is a common occurrence. Sapnap says he won’t burn down the house, but that Ponk challenged him

- Tommy joins VC as they reach the tree. Sapnap tells Tubbo to choose wisely

Sapnap: you have all brought fighting to a once peaceful land

Sapnap: I am the law.

- Tommy says he’ll get on later. Ponk and Tubbo both need his assistance. Tubbo wonders if he and Ponk can make their own court to take Sapnap to trial

Ponk: “Right, look. We have to do a reverse of the revolution in America, right? We need to -- the English must take over the server again, okay? And make it British.”

- Sapnap whispers to Tubbo that Tubbo must be on his side. Tubbo, Ponk and Alyssa find Sapnap’s house. Sapnap kicks them out 

- Alyssa asks where her horse went. Sapnap tells her Ponk led it to its death. Sapnap has Ponk’s pickaxe and tells him to say sorry to stop the fighting. Ponk says sorry

- Alyssa sets Sapnap’s house on fire

Tubbo: “Oh my god, is nothing sacred on this server?!”

- Sapnap tells her to say goodbye to her house and he kills Ponk. Tubbo frantically tries to put out Sapnap’s house

Sapnap: an eye for an eye

Sapnap: I am a fair man

- The only way Sapnap won’t destroy Alyssa’s house is if Tubbo builds him a new one. Tubbo tells them off for burning each other’s things. He doesn’t want his own house burnt down

Tubbo: “If I’m on everyone’s good side, then hopefully they won’t break my crap.”

- He rebuilds Sapnap’s house

- Sapnap says he only killed in self-defense after he was attacked. Alyssa drowns. Punz logs on, confused at what’s going on. He decides to pick “the side of justice”

- Sapnap pays Tubbo for fixing his house, thankful. Tubbo leaves and finds Alyssa at his house. Tubbo tells them the house is his

- Ponk and Sapnap come to Tubbo’s house and Sapnap murders Benson. Alyssa gives Tubbo a poppy for his loss. Sapnap and Tubbo declare every chicken Benson. Then Sapnap kills another as Punz comes over

- Sapnap logs off and Ponk eggs the top of Tubbo’s house

Ponk: “That’s for picking sides, Tubbo.”

Tubbo: “I didn’t pick sides!”

Ponk: “For not picking a side at all. Exactly.”

- Punz joins the call and Tubbo says they can be the side of justice together. A fight breaks out between Punz and Ponk. Tubbo and Alyssa join in and Sapnap logs back on

Sapnap: ARE YOU THREATENING MY PUNZ

- Sapnap kills Ponk again. Purpled now has a pet dog with a purple collar named “DogChamp”

- Tubbo plays the ukelele. Sapnap asks him to sing a song, and Tubbo sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” while Sapnap dances along

- Fundy logs on and Sapnap leaves. Things are calm again

- Tommy logs on to find that his house has been damaged and is enraged. Punz whispers to him that he saved it from fire. Tommy’s chestplate is gone and he demands to know who did it

- Sapnap logs on and whispers to Tommy that he is only borrowing the Netherite, and “do not fear my friend.” He joins the call and says that he will return Tommy’s things under one condition: Tommy must join his cause

- Tommy walks down the path looking for Sapnap and kills Alyssa along the way. Sapnap speaks with Tommy at the Courthouse

Sapnap: "The civil war is about to break out.”

- Tommy orders Sapnap to give him back the chestplate, as Wilbur helped him with it. Sapnap gives him the chestplate

Sapnap: “Look...We can be the most powerful on the realm, alright? I need you to be on my side, have my back no matter what.”

- Sapnap tells Tommy that his house was vandalized, so he vandalized the vandal’s house back

Tommy: “Who was it?”

Sapnap: “Your arch-nemesis.”

Tommy: “Ponk!”

Sapnap: “Your arch-nemesis, yes.”

- Sapnap explains what happened today, and how his house was burned down. When Tommy learns about Alyssa’s involvement, he decides it’s time for revenge and starts making his way back down the path

- As they walk to Tommy’s place, Sapnap tells Tommy about how he burned down the Lemon Tree

Tommy: “Sapnap, why would you do that?! That’s his prized possession. That’s like if you burnt my music discs!”

- Tommy asks Sapnap why he burnt down Tommy’s house and Sapnap says to just look past that. War is being waged, and he wants Tommy as his ally.

- Meanwhile, Punz tells Tubbo that there is danger approaching, and that Ponk and Tommy are about to duel. They call Ponk, but Ponk hasn’t heard about a duel

- Tommy sees Punz and Tubbo approach the front door and goes to speak with them. Tommy tells them he’s trying to work out who’s the good guy. Alyssa tells Tommy she heard Tommy stole one of her diamonds, and Tommy immediately goes back to Sapnap’s call

- Tubbo leaves them to go back to building his house, feeling like he’s been the good guy today, rebuilding everything. Everyone else is just burning down houses

- Tommy and Sapnap kick Punz out of the house. Sapnap hands Tommy a Swiftness potion, telling him to “run like the wind.” Tommy is confused

- Sapnap goes outside and sits on the bench

Sapnap: “I’m looking at the starlight, Tommy. Beside this bench...This once was a peaceful nation, Tommy.”

...

Sapnap: “Tommy, you’re free to do whatever you want. I will not attack you unless you join their side. If you join their side, then I’ll be forced to fight you in battle. But I think you know what you need to do. I think you know what team you need to choose, and I think you’ll choose wisely. But Tommy...I’m off into the night. Goodbye for now.”

- Sapnap leaps from the bench and runs off mysteriously into the wilderness

- Tommy is more confused now. He still has the Able Sisters Theme playing in the background. But he has a decision to make, and he weighs his options:

Either join Sapnap, whom he despises, join the woman, or join Punz. Yesterday, Tubbo set him on fire and he lost all his things, so he doesn’t want to join Tubbo. Fundy is a furry and Purpled plays Bedwars. Wilbur is busy streaming, but he did get whitelisted and could join the server if he wanted to

- Tommy calls Tubbo asking about his old username. Ponk and Alyssa come walking down the path to his house and Alyssa sets him on fire before they walk away. Infuriated, Tommy goes and tells Sapnap he’s chosen Sapnap’s side and that they need to show Alyssa who’s boss

Tommy: “I’ve chosen so wisely. Maybe not, but still. As long as no one touches my music discs, we’re in the clear.”

- Tommy walks outside and comes face to face with Ponk and Alyssa. They attack, and Tommy runs before getting killed by Alyssa. Sapnap goes to avenge him while Tommy demands his things back. Ponk says he chose the wrong side, and Sapnap kills Alyssa

- Ponk gives Tommy back the Netherite chestplate. Tommy meets back up with Sapnap and gets his items back. Ponk towers up and Tommy shoots at him with a crossbow and misses

Tommy: “I had one shot. Oh actually no, I have multiple shots. I am like Alexander Hamilton!”

- Dream logs on. Ponk and Alyssa both call for his help as Tommy keeps shooting. Ponk falls and dies

- Sapnap congratulates Tommy on his kill. Tommy is eager to kill more people while they’re at it, and Sapnap suggests they kill Dream. Tommy agrees

- Dream is on the path by Tommy’s house in iron armor. Tommy and Sapnap easily kill him

Sapnap: THIS IS OUR LAND

Sapnap: NOONE CAN TAKE US

Sapnap: WE OWN THIS REALM

Tubbo: can I have some?

Sapnap: YOU SHALL PAY US DIAMONDS

- Tommy is disappointed that he didn’t get the killing blow and goes to kill Dream again. Dream is waiting there on the path and he asks for his items back. Tommy starts chasing him down

- Tommy thanks Wilbur for raiding him with 5,000 viewers!

- They chase after Dream. Tommy kills Alyssa and says that if Wilbur ever joins, he and Sapnap can take him under their wing and teach him PvP. They also decide to take Tubbo in as well as the builder of their new kingdom

- Ponk, Punz and Dream come running down the path. Sapnap kills Dream and Ponk. Punz attacks Tubbo and Tubbo is angry. Tommy kills Punz. The one remaining is Alyssa

- Tommy adds Tubbo to the VC. He decides to join them. Tommy spots and chases Dream down again until Dream logs out outside Tubbo’s house

Tommy: “Sapnap, it looks as though we’ve won.”

Tubbo: “I don’t think anyone’s won. You’ve burnt down most of the stuff on the server!”

Tommy: “Other -- don’t phrase it like that. Sapnap -- you know what? Hey, Tubbo, maybe you should --” (he kicks Tubbo from the call)

- Tubbo is not on their side. Dream logs back in and Tommy kills him

Dream: you have made an enemy

- Tommy declares himself now the killer of Technoblade, Timedeo and Dream. They join the general VC and start talking with Punz, Ponk and Alyssa when another message appears in chat:

Dream: I have the music discs

Dream: and I’m going to burn them

Dream: unless my stuff is returned

- Tommy freaks out and runs back to his house. Alyssa and Ponk ask for their stuff back. The discs are gone from the chest, and Punz kills Tommy. Dream arrives at Tommy’s house, now in iron armor, and kills Tommy too. Then Sapnap kills Dream. And Ponk

- Tommy asks Dream where the discs are. He speaks with Sapnap and they go to find Punz to get Tommy’s things. Tommy is angry with Sapnap for bringing him into the conflict, but they’re too far in to turn on each other

- Sapnap tells Tommy they may have to leave the main area for a while, as they’re outnumbered by their enemies. They reach the Community House, but Dream soon arrives and kills Tommy, who respawns and immediately kills Alyssa

- Tommy makes it back to the Community House. Sapnap tells him it’s time for them to blow up all the houses and burn them, but Tommy disagrees

Dream: okay

Dream: no more killing

- Sapnap immediately kills Alyssa and then gets killed by Tubbo

- They head to courthouse, Sapnap and Tommy now facing down Dream, Alyssa, Tubbo and Ponk. Sapnap whispers plans to Tommy about how to kill them. Sapnap shouts at Tommy to run, but it doesn’t work and both die

- Tommy and Dream shout at each other angrily in a call. Dream is furious at Sapnap and Tommy for jumping him out of nowhere while he was walking down the path. Sapnap tells him they thought he was on their enemy’s side

Dream: “You guys are acting like I’m an idiot, I was watching the stream! You guys both shouted ‘LET’S KILL DREAM! LET’S KILL DREAM!’ and you guys ran at me!”

Tommy: “Tommyinnit is not an idiot, I’m the furthest thing from an idiot, I’m--”

Sapnap: “Dream, you don’t understand the TYRANNY that’s going down on these lands! And you are not helping the tyranny!”

- Tommy tells Dream they should trade, offering to work for him. Dream requests an apology instead. Tommy turns around and walks away back to the Community House

- Sapnap threatens to burn it to the ground, but Dream in turn threatens to ban him for a week. Tommy tells Sapnap to calm down

Tommy: “Sapnap, you’re clearly in the wrong!”

Sapnap: “Let me explain this whole story -- I’m not in the wrong. We’re not in the wrong, Tommy. We’re not in the wrong.”

- Dream kills Sapnap and tells them his view of the story, which is that the two chased and killed him when he had no armor. Tommy starts talking. Surrounded by everyone staring at him, he feels like this is similar to another SMP he was on...

Tommy: “Hello Te -- Dream.”

- Tommy explains that Sapnap was in a conflict with someone else before, and tells Dream that he doesn’t think Sapnap is entirely right. Dream says he’ll give back Tommy’s things, but burn the discs for the crime. While Dream is distracted by Tommy, Sapnap runs away behind them

God joined the game.

Tubbo: em

God: Give me the discs.

- Tommy tells Dream he can put Dream’s name in his YouTube title instead

Dream: “All I know is you have committed a crime, and now -- even though I was not gonna choose a side, I was forced to choose the side of these people.”

- Sapnap dies to a Piglin in the Nether and Punz gets annoyed at Dream for calling him ‘these people,’ so Dream goes on to say that Punz saved him. They start arguing over who attacked who and Punz kills Sapnap

- Sapnap calls them vermin and says he’ll see Dream in MCC...They are on the same team. Sapnap and Tommy start bickering with each other

- Tommy starts leading the group back to his house. Dream kills Tommy for calling him “Techno”

- They continue arguing at the bench for a while and start negotiating a deal. Sapnap apologizes to Dream and Dream accepts it, and he gives Sapnap back his things. Tommy gets his chestplate and sword back. Tommy asks for his discs back but Dream refuses

- Dream says Tommy is not trustworthy enough to give the discs yet, but Tommy says he is often known as “Tommy Trusty.” Dream says he will give the discs back when Tommy has earned his trust

- In Tommy’s house, Dream puts an item frame with an enchanted book to remember the day. They leave Tommy with Tubbo and Tommy fills Tubbo in on what happened

- Dream says in that that he’s going to burn the discs when Tommy doesn’t tell the truth, so Tommy starts running back

-Tommy gets chased by three baby zombies. He leads his new army down the path. He tries to get them to attack Tubbo and, while Dream is shooting at the zombies, he kills Tommy

- Dream faces Sapnap at Tubbo’s house. Dream drops a piece of ham labelled “Maxx” and then Mellohi and Sapnap picks Mellohi up, running off

- While Tommy is walking back, Sapnap suddenly shouts that he has a disc and drops it to Tommy, who runs while Sapnap holds Dream off. Tommy reaches his house and goes down into the mines

- Tommy reaches a ravine and hides the disc with his screen blacked out. He turns it back on looking at a pile of granite just as Dream reaches him

- Tubbo picks up the piece of ham labelled “Maxx” and is confused

- Tommy meets up with Sapnap in the ravine while Dream searches for the disc. Dream kills both of them. Tommy comes back down to see Dream digging through the granite

- They keep the fight up for a while until Tommy sees Dream holding a disc in his hand in front of a fire. He tells Tommy to apologize

Tommy: I am sorry if you felt upset by my masculinity

- Dream drops down the disc in front of him and Tommy picks it up and runs until Dream kills him and Sapnap

- The two continue to watch as Dream mines around with thunder booming in the background

- Eventually, they speak with Dream, who is determined to find it. Tommy offers to tell him if Dream gives him the jukebox and the other disc. He whispers to Tubbo that he needs help, to come to the house and bring shields and axes

- Tommy calls Tubbo and Sapnap. With shields and axes and all of them attacking together, they might be able to take Dream. With the three of them no armed, the battle breaks out in the ravine

Tommy: “Why is there so much lightning?”

Tubbo: “It’s pathetic fallacy.”

- All three of them die, but Tommy grabs a bed as he goes back down and they set their spawns at the bottom before retrieving the axes. As they fight, Tommy asks Purpled if he wants to help them

Purpled: (whispering to Tommy) i am switzerland

- They notice gravel at the top of a chamber and break it to make it fall into a blockade with Dream at the top of it. They start getting hits on him and though Tommy dies, Tubbo gets the final hit, killing Dream

- In celebration, Tommy places down the jukebox in the ravine and the three of them listen to Cat together

- Sapnap says they should get out of there before Dream returns 

Tubbo: “I feel like we’ve killed God. God is dead.”

Tommy: “God is dead!”

Tubbo: “And we killed him.”

- Tommy explains how he created the decoy with the granite for the real disc location

- They head back up but Sapnap says Dream is up there, but Tubbo kills him again. Once at the top, Tommy hides the discs again

- While going down to the ravine, Tommy gets shot from Sapnap from above, who says he’s been hired by Dream. Tommy asks him what he’s talking about until Dream comes to Tommy’s house and kills Sapnap and Tommy

- Sapnap says he was just joking. Tommy tells Tubbo to kill Sapnap and Tubbo does. Tommy and Tubbo start running to the roof of Tubbo’s house. Sapnap is angry

- Tommy Ender Pearls out of the attic, leaving Tubbo to be killed by Dream. Tommy runs into the Nether Portal only to discover it was portal-trapped by Tubbo. Sapnap kills Tommy in the trap

- They call Sapnap and he and Tommy argue some more

Sapnap: “I’ve been battling with you all day. You think I’d betray you?”

Tommy: “Uh, yes.”

- Tommy kills Sapnap 

Tubbo: “Dude...why you gotta kill people? Why can’t you just be normal? Why? Why are you like this?”

- Tommy jumps at Tubbo, who immediately kills him. Sapnap asks what their next move is. Tommy says that they got this discs which is what they needed, since the discs are the only things that were irreplacable

- Tubbo says the discs are very replaceable and he was going to make a disc farm...

Tommy: “...AND YOU TOLD ME THIS NOW?!”

- They could’ve avoided a whole lot if Tubbo had said this earlier. As Tommy walks back to the Community House, Ponk comes over and hands Tommy the Sjiba sword

- He, Tubbo and Sapnap meet up in the Nether. Tommy says he won and got an extra music disc

Tubbo: “But I already explained to you how easy they are to get.”

Tommy: “Yeah yeah yeah but have you heard of sentimental value, dickhead?”

Tubbo: “You’re talking about a Minecraft item here. Get out.”

- Sapnap hits Tommy off the hub into the lava and he loses the Sjiba sword, which was George’s. Tubbo says they can always make another

Tommy: “You are a remorseless psychopath, alright? This is not -- You need to understand sentimental value.”

Tubbo: “I do understand sentimental value! And I think it’s a little bit shit.”

Tommy: “Hence my point.”

Tubbo: “Oh.”

- Tommy sees today as a win. Tubbo calls Sapnap “Snapmap”

Sapnap: “Tubbo, I don’t wanna have to kill you.”

Tubbo: “Try me bitch.”

- While he walks back, Tommy runs into Dream, who gives him the Netherite sword and a Netherite chestplate. Dream says he’ll look for the discs and then burn them

Tubbo suggests they make an Ender Chest for the discs: 

A mission for the next day.

---

UPCOMING ANNIVERSARY DATES:

July 11: Disc War Finale

July 12: The war over Spins the bee, Wilbur joins the server

July 16: Schlatt joins the server and is banned

July 17: Skeppy joins the server

July 19: Eret joins the server

July 24: Tommy and Wilbur start a drug business

[reidslibrarybook]

hi i just arrived 2 this community what the FUCK is going on jejdhbj k

so, kind of a long story. i'm ready to cut the shit and share syd and i's side of the story. everything can be backed up by receipts from both emily and i. i've held my tongue as she pranced around acting innocent and mouthed us off to other ppl, who've come forward to emily. a very very condensed version (because there are so many other things she's done that i just don't feel like writing) of the story under the cut.

so basically it's a whole journey that i've been on with @reidsacademia @boldlyvoid with someone named alyssa. she literally trauma dumped on me and tried to manipulate me into accepting it by saying 'you're the only person i can trust with this'. it was this whole thing where she'd make me feel bad abt myself and living my life, it was honestly kinda sad that i didn't see the red flags sooner.

there were so many days that i felt so uncomfortable listening to her shit on herself and talk abt her trauma, and it wasn't just me feeling this way either. she's done this to emily and another person here on tumblr who's only 16. it was just an overall horrible experience for me but she made me feel obligated to be there for her when i didn't ask to hear her trauma. she also mentioned some of her trauma on someone's Instagram live which was absolutely uncalled for and the person who was on live ended the whole thing right after.

during this whole thing, syd alyssa and i had been getting closer cuz we were all writing fics and just hanging out when she'd just trauma dump all over us. it was uncomfortable for the both of us so we talked abt it and decided to kinda pull away slowly.

she'd shit on me and syd about going to college and other ppl's writing while simultaneously putting herself down and victimizing herself. we cared, so we comforted her but it just wasn't a healthy environment for either of us.

it was this whole back and forth thing between all three of us and it was so fucking tiring. we were absolutely civil and genuinely tried to be her friend over the course of talking on discord for a week or so. she eventually pulled away and syd and i thought we were in the clear before she started vague posting things about us (writing fics, saying that we gave her anxiety or were the reason why she was depressed).

i checked up on her from time to time by sending her dms because i genuinely cared and so did syd, then she ended up saying that we were neglecting her even though we did absolutely nothing aside from bob our heads to music?

she eventually expressed that she didn't want to be friends anymore to which i accepted and said goodbye by wishing her well. that whole week where she was awol i was so anxious and scared because i genuinely thought she was my friend.

and then emily came around and showed me what she said abt syd and i behind our backs. she had this whole thing where she twisted the story and ran to emily telling them personal information we shared to her thinking that she'd keep it confidential (no hate to emily ofc, they had no idea what was going on and only got alyssa's side of the story). she'd lie abt how we were purposely ignoring her and abt how we hated her when we literally only talked on discord for a couple of days.

emily has receipts detailing what alyssa said behind our backs including writing a murder fic and thinking abt me, thought we were dating just because we got close, and making a ton of shit up abt how we hated her when we absolutely did not. keep in mind, she's been talking behind our backs since we first started talking (around the end of september).

it was very clear that she over-exaggerated every single thing and made up this narrative abt us purposely hurting her. emily admitted that alyssa would do things just to make us feel uncomfortable while trying to put on this facade abt how she was going to change to make us feel like we lost something special.

a while after, syd sent emily one ask after i sent them one a couple days before which sent alyssa over the edge apparently. she ended up leaving her friendship with emily and that was when emily realized that everything that she said was twisted, manipulated to fit her own agenda, and a big lie.

at one point, she made a new account and followed all three of us thinking that she wasn't obvious as fuck. syd put together the dots and we all blocked her straight away.

I've been getting hate anons for a while now, telling me to kill myself and overall just degrading asks. they don't affect me in any way, thankfully, it's just annoying to receive them. i don't know if they're from her but it can't be a coincidence that they started right when we broke things off.

i hope that everything can just be laid to rest with this whole thing. i didn't write this out for no reason, i really just want whoever it is to stop sending me hate anons. i hope this clarifies things for everyone and if you've been getting hate or have been put in an uncomfortable position by anyone at all, please lmk and we can talk. i'm here for you <3

[ruby-whistler]

Small thing- i did my research and as it turns out c!tommy has never stolen dream's chestplate, the only time he took anything remotely like that from dream was when dream died of fall damage once and tommy briefly picked it up and returned it -curious anon (unless u have a vod or something but idk)

hey! this ask has been sitting at the back of my inbox for a while now - and that is because i actually went back and made an analysis of the original disc conflict which is what i was actually talking about.

this is gonna be very in-detail because that's how i do stuff. word-by-word, frame-by-frame.

this is not quite roleplay yet, but the "war" is in minecraft and it's all completely lighthearted, so, i'm saying this just as a disclaimer.

i started analysing tommy's video "So I Started a Minecraft War VS Dream…", not the stream. if anyone knows that the stream has additional, important information, i'll watch it as well.

so, let's start off.

sapnap had a fight with ponk and alyssa - tommy joined in to help sapnap kill them. "however dream doesn't like when people fight on his server" - he already has the reputation of being a mediator. this is very interesting to note for later.

dream logs on after which ponk and alyssa, who have just been killed, start asking him for help.

dream shows up in iron armor, sapnap and tommy fully decked out.

dream is not an idiot. there are two people with stronger gear coming at him, yelling in a stream he has open "LET'S KILL DREAM" at the top of their lungs, having just killed two server members.

the two are charging at him, so he shoots to knock them back. after this he runs while tommy and sapnap proceed to assault him.

they're killing someone who can't protect themselves for fun. dream is the underdog in this situation - funnily enough, this event gets often cited as dream being tyrannical despite the fact.

dream runs himself into a corner besides the fence. sapnap kills him and tommy is mad that he didn't get the kill.

all of dream's stuff is laying on the ground and they pick it up.

[ Sapnap: NOONE CAN TAKE US ]

we can see gold, iron, gapples, food, spare items and materials, which they pick up - and most importantly, dream's crossbow. since his armor and weapons are decent and best, his crossbow is probably his most important item, and tommy gloats about having it.

[ Dream: give me my stuff back ]

tommy responds to this by saying "watch, no, watch this", insulting dream, and then killing him with his own crossbow.

dream has a track record on the smp, that he keeps throughout the l'manberg war as well, of giving people their stuff back if he kills them - this would usually happen to stop them from assaulting someone else. his one rule he enforces is "don't be a jerk", so don't steal things or ruin things people have worked for. this is seemingly why he "doesn't like" conflict.

he doesn't genuinely want anyone to lose the stuff that they've earned, and he expects this same attitude towards himself.

this is why he comes towards tommy with no armor, seemingly completely trusting he would be given back his stuff. this doesn't happen, as tommy wants a dream kill under his belt. tommy chases dream down as he tries to get away. alyssa, seemingly without any items - it's reasonable to assume they were also taken by tommy and sapnap, or maybe she doesn't have anything for some other reason - gets killed again when she runs by tommy and dream. thanks to this fact, dream gets away, and sapnap and tommy start trying to devise a plan to kill dream again.

dream gets punz and ponk to help him, of which punz is the only person with full armor - all three are wearing armor. by this time, tubbo has joined, who has inferior armor to even dream, but the three have much better gear overall. it's unsurprising then, that during this encounter, sapnap and tommy manage to kill all three - sapnap kills ponk and dream while tommy gets punz.

[ Tubbo_: punz wth? ]

during this encounter, tubbo doesn't engage, but watches from the top of the fence.

[ Sapnap: STOP THIS MADNESS ]

tommy then goes to chase dream down in order to finally get the kill he had wanted. dream combat logs, and tommy boasts about how many diamonds he managed to gain by stealing from the people he killed during the fight.

tubbo comments that he doesn't think anyone's won, because things on the server were destroyed during the battle. tommy kicked him from the call, telling sapnap that he's not on their side.

dream relogs and gets immediately killed by tommy.

[ Sapnap: STOP THIS MADNESS ]

[ Sapnap: WE ALL NEED TO TALK ]

[ Sapnap: you just lost a 3v2 ]

[ Tubbo_: why don't you guys just- (cut off) ]

[ Sapnap: 4v2 actually ]

[ Dream: I had nothing ]

[ Sapnap: we can talk ]

tommy suggests to vc, saying "all war stops now". he tells ponk that they've already won, to which sapnap alerts him to dream's messages that he sent in chat.

[ Dream: I have the music discs ]

[ Dream: and I'm going to burn them ]

[ Dream: unless my stuff is returned ]

here we can see that dream literally only wanted his stuff back - when negotiations failed and he was killed three times over, he decided to retaliate and get his items - which he had, much like tommy with the discs, worked hard for - using another method.

this was not him targeting people's attachments or targeting sentimental value. he knew tommy had worked for hours to get them, which is why he used them as leverage.

tommy is understandably distraught after this.

[ Punz: rekt ]

[ Punz: don't touch dream ]

tubbo and sapnap watch dream walk past them, looking into tommy's chests. they don't do anything besides telling tommy.

dream proceeds to kill tommy as retaliation, probably thinking tommy would have his stuff on him.

sapnap kills ponk and doesn't get the discs back from dream.

[ TommyInnit: Dream ]

[ TommyInnit: Where are the discs ]

tommy then tries to blame sapnap for this happening, despite the fact that he was the one to chase after dream and refuse to return his items. sapnap says that they attacked them, which is also not true.

sapnap and tommy scheme to try kill dream, to which dream kills tommy again to set them back and stop them from doing so.

dream manages to kill sapnap with his bow. he then boasts about winning a 1v2 in chat, seemingly replying to sapnap mocking him earlier for losing a 4v2.

dream joins the call after which tommy begins yelling at him about him killing him and stealing his stuff.

"i was walking down a path when two fully decked out people 2v1'd me and killed me. and then i came back, and i killed both of you, i took all of your stuff."

dream here explains that he was just walking down the path, confirming he wasn't planning to attack them, but they jumped him pretty much out of nowhere and essentially mugged him of the few items he had. he doesn't feel bad for retaliating for this unfair treatment.

he then proceeds to say he was not an idiot; he heard them shouting that they were going to kill him because he had had the stream open.

tommy denies all these accusations, dismissing dream's rightful anger. he refuses to apologize.

dream says that he will return his stuff, but burn his discs as punishment for killing people and not apologizing. he speaks on behalf of not only himself, but also punz and alyssa.

tommy tries to negotiate via tricking dream, but dream says he'll keep the discs specifically so that tommy wouldn't kill him again. sapnap apologizes, saying it was an accident (it really wasn't but dream takes it), tommy simply saying he's on his side now instead of a proper apology. dream steps away from saying he will burn them, returning tommy's gear, specifically his chestplate and his sword.

alyssa comes to ask for items and gets killed by dream, then sapnap. dream asks if anyone has his steak. alyssa complains in chat about having all of her items stolen from her and being killed repeatedly. i really feel bad for her in this because she gets the worst treatment from everyone.

dream says he'll keep the discs safe, but that he doesn't trust tommy.

he leaves the call and leaves the room, seemingly not wanting to engage with the conflict anymore. sapnap gets mellohi from dream and gives it to tommy, who goes to hide it, while he keeps him off.

as the disc war goes, the two are stubborn and continue to battle for the discs. this is however what started it, and it did happen because of tommy's (and to a degree sapnap's) actions. he held the discs as leverage because tommy refused to return the few items he had.

[trashlie]

Thank you for answering my asks! I agree, Alyssa wanting to belong to something bigger to fill in a void of loneliness sounds like a better fit than simply being an attention seeker solely for the sake of validity.

I've been thinking of what will happen after Alyssa's bullying scandal is exposed and I'm starting to wonder if Shinae's bullying accusations will be brought up in tandem. Both girls covered in similar rumors and confronting a shared past, highlighting a key difference between them: true friendship. Which I hope is one of the possible or many catalysts for Alyssa.

No matter what reputation she gains in public, Shinae will be surrounded by her friends who genuinely know and support her. A full on Shinae Defense Squad! Meanwhile, Alyssa will have a fan base turning against her, except for the stans who have a parasocial relationship towards her.

So, what will Alyssa do when she's cornered again? Will she dig her heel in, clinging to all these strangers who only see her as an image, in a desperate attempt to not lose all she has left? Or will she realize all of her former friends are standing together while she has no one and have a wake up call? 1/2

You're totally welcome! I say it all the time but it's true: I get so excited that anyone wants to talk to me about this series and reads my really long, rambling thoughts lol. I'm always happy to answer asks and share my thoughts and ideas!

I'm putting the second half of your ask under the cut. While it's not totally spoilery, it still mentions FP content so we'll be safe and throw it all under the cut!

(This is a bit fast pass spoilery). Then what if the rumors of her sexuality come to light and they step in to protect her. Will she realize it then? What she truly lost was not fame? 2/2

So I, and many others, probably including you, have figured that if Alyssa has a big career-changing scandal, it will likely be about bullying allegations, because that's a big deal in Korea and it can really make or break someone's career, especially if it's true. But I won't lie - ep 196 made pause and wonder if it could be worse. Now, I'm going to straight up say, I really, really, really hope if it turns out Alyssa is, in fact, queer, I really hope she is not outed via a scandal, but also.... it would be one way to ruin her career, wouldn't it? It just doesn't sit well with me - I'd rather she get to embrace that herself one day than have it outed against her will. For that reason, I like to hope that it will be just bullying rumors.

Once upon a time, I had written about how I thought there was a possibility that if Alyssa's past came to light, Nol might see himself in her, but that was long before he finally talked to Shinae, so, lol I think that's all out the window! He's really been giving me whiplash this last year lol. That said, I've never considered if it would wind up involving Shinae. Part of me is inclined to think no, it wouldn't, because she's not the one who is in the limelight, but the more I think about it, the more I think it would at least involve her at the "local" level - whether it's just that someone slips up and says something, that the news reveals enough details to connect to Shinae, whether Alyssa herself actually names her. It certainly wouldn't be Alyssa's finest hour, that's for sure.

As always, I think these scenarios always depend on variable factors - like would Nol still be "dating" Alyssa at the time of the scandal, for instance. I still think there's an opportunity for Nol to see himself in Alyssa, especially because we still don't know what his altercation with Kousuke was like (was he provoked, was he cornered, was he acting out of malice or was it an accident?). I don't think it has to be either or, though, right? He can both see himself in Alyssa and what sympathize with what it's like to be painted as something you aren't, cornered into something you never meant to, while also acknowledging he is trying to be above all that - you know, supposing that's his choice. I still don't know if we are getting the antihero arc that everyone has anticipated for Nol, since I feel like the big emphasis on Shinae revealing to Nol how she mirrors him is meant to imply that he may try to find a way to leave all of that behind, and to be a version of himself that he chooses to be, as opposed to the one he's been painted as. But what I'm getting at is, I think there's yes the potential that while he could sympathize with Alyssa, he could also be part of a support system to Shinae, because humans are complex. But I think that could flip a switch for Alyssa.

Again, there's a lot of factors here, like... she and Nol have discussed the nature of their relationship, so there's no real expectation that he would take her side just because she's his girlfriend or anything, and they already have a lot of contention between them, but I think there's still room for to feel... I don't think betrayed is the right word because that's a little dramatic, but I think there's a lot of complicated emotions that could arise from that, right? Picture it from Alyssa's angle: she wound up wrapped up in something she never intended and was desperate trying to save face even though her choices were not the kindest, they were what she thought was right in the moment, and in the end she wound up hurting someone she (presumably) never intended to hurt, did something she never meant to do. And though she's not in love with Nol, and maybe they aren't even truly friends, wouldn't you feel some kind of complex feelings akin to betrayal for him to support the person directly involved with this? It's an interesting scenario and I DO like to hope it would make her think about true friendship. I can't say I'm confident it could make her reassess her approaches, but that's more because I cannot say I'm confident about anything Alyssa might do lol. In such a scenario, I'd hope she'd finally understand what it means to have a handful of people in your corner, rather than a lot of people who only care about one facet of you, a persona that may not even be real. In fact, I think this would be SUCH an interesting thing to explore, but I don't think we'll really get a chance to without adding 3 more years to the story lol, but isn't there something compelling in that kind of lonely story? Once again, this is a reason I've really come to love Alyssa as a character - there is SO MUCH that can be done with her!

I do think, though, you are right in that it needs to be more than just that fall from grace and finding herself alone - being juxtaposed against someone like Shinae who would have people supporting her, reassuring her. It's one of the best ways for her to really face that void she's trying to fill and finally understand what she really seeks.

Now, trying to tie this back into the sexuality, god, if done right, it could be so tender, couldn't it? I know I said I'm opposed to Alyssa being outed by someone else, because it doesn't sit right with me, and that's such a dangerous thing for someone if they are surrounded by people who don't support her, but also a story is not about the "right" choices because as we've learned lol in general, people do NOT make the right choices. So the idea of Alyssa being outed but defended by people who she doesn't have a good track record with, because they are, at heart, good people who think it's unfair to do that to someone, to reveal something so private before they are ready, makes me want to cry, frankly lol. For Alyssa, she'd be getting another taste of what she lost, of what she has willingly thrown away, and yes, I think that could actually do a good job of making her see that.

Ultimately a thought I have about most characters (and, frankly, people in general) is that often we have to go through something to change, or to finally see and face the ugly in ourselves, to address something we've been avoiding, to take on something we are running from. It is human nature to be so wrapped up in our own experiences that we forget others have experiences and biases of their own. For Nol to change, to be more honest with himself, he essentially had to "lose it all". To be fair, he sort of threw in the towel himself, decided to be exactly what he's been painted as and give up his efforts to try to have a better life - but that's still prompted by two points of "failure". He was a good person at the formal, tried to save a friend, and in the end he couldn't do it and she got hurt, plus the drug and assault charges. He was pushed to the brink and even when being a person who cars, even when being a good friend, it backfired. Likewise, it blew up his option to go away and escape, to attend his father's alma matter and not only prove to everyone he was more than they believed he was, but to find peace for a while. For him, he lost things because he dared to defy this life so he decided to concede, and in conceding he loses his escape, his chance to maybe make his father proud, and he lost his friends, because in his eyes he was not worthy of them and would only endanger them. Only then, after listening to Shinae's desperate attempts to lure him out, when lmao attacked by her cat, the final straw!!! Did he come out - and he had no intention of coming clean to Shinae, she just happened to overhear him!

I think it will be the same for Alyssa and Kousuke - that they cannot simply wake up and decide to change, or see themselves for what they are. They have to reach a point that forces them to contend with that. It's so easy to say "Why can't Alyssa just realize that fame is not the same as friendship", but someone who has conflated friendship with idolization isn't going to see it the same. Someone who has believed that popularity feels more secure cannot see that for themselves. Logically, she knows the love her fans have towards her is conditional. That's the whole point of that incident with the fans that spotted her out with Nol - even though Nol is right to tell them off for bothering her after she politely told them she can't take a picture, she also knows that fans will only give you their support as long as they like you. Refuse their whims and they'll take to the internet to trash you to anyone who will listen. She knows that's not real love, but it's all she has so she's clinging to it. What will prompt her to change, otherwise?

The more I ramble about this lol the more I think you are right: she has to see that hollow popularity foiled against true friendship, and maybe even be reminded of what it feels like, what it's like to be supported unconditionally. Even though I've repeated that I don't want her outed against her will, I cannot deny how much I would love to see at least Nol and Shinae try to protect her. I love the complexity of it - that they are both people she has hurt in some way, that she has used in some way, but could still be allies to her. Shinae has made it clear that her feelings about Alyssa are complex - that though she doesn't seem to hold a grudge, the weight of what transpired between them still weighs heavy on her and what she really wants is clarity, to clear the air and understand. There's something painful and messy about being defended by people you feel guilt and regret towards, especially as people who probably offered some of the truest friendship she's know. (I mean, I say this loosely because, again, Nol lol likely befriended Alyssa for his quest for absolution and while he didn't intend to truly be their friend, he still was a good friend to them?) I guess what I'm getting at is: I love those complex, nuanced kinds of events, where maybe they will never become friends again, but maybe the genuine act of defending her could be the thing that makes her want to be a better person, to form real friendships and be her honest self. I hope Alyssa sometimes thinks about the first friend she made in middle school, who thought everything about her that other kids might find weird was cool, and feels some kind of regret.

lol as always this has gone on a whole tangent that was not intended but also, as always, these kinds of asks get me thinking about a lot of things! Frankly, I do not know what to expect of the second half of ILY. I don't know where we will leave the story in the present, or what we'll be set up for then, but I hope that when we see the characters as adults, we may get to see more of that complexity, of exploring and overcoming the things that have been holding you back. Alyssa is an extremely unlikeable character for good reason, but I just can't help but want to continue to see her involved in a big way, you know? There's just something so COMPELLING about her relationships with everyone!

Now lol with all that said, I will fully acknowledge that I think there IS a good chance that Alyssa could dig her heels in, because as I've said before, it is very likely that not all characters will overcome their pasts. Again, we see it with grown adults every day of life - that we are shaped by experiences and by our willingness to learn and unlearn. Is Alyssa willing to let something go or would she decide to push back and fight it, to find a way to shift blame, which would only get netizens more fired up. I WANT Alyssa to make some non-shitty choices for once, but that doesn't mean that's the arc she's on lol. I would not be surprised in the least if she found a way to try to deflect lol. Just, yknow. A resigned sigh like yup that's her lol. Flawed people can die flawed without making attempts to change, and I don't want that for her but look, sometimes that's life.

Man, this took me so long to answer and I apologize! My brain has been running away all week ;_____; some days I can sit down and bang out a response, other days the words are all jumbled in my head and it feels like I have to make a game of stringing them together since I can't telepathically write my responses. But as always, thank you for this ask and indulging in my love of Not Great Women characters lmao

[landonkirbyappreciation]

So if you really look at everything and how everyone reacted/reacts to Landon being in danger or "dying" (excluding Hope & Rafael) and you compare it to how they react when it comes to Cleo, Alyssa, MG, Josie..... literally anyone else being in danger .... there is a difference and that difference is in one fundamental attribute the type of species they are. The school, the squad (excluding Hope & Rafael), Dr. Saltzman they all will do everything and anything for a student/classmate/friend who is a vampire, Witch or Werewolf, they will cry and worry about them and their safety with a deep feeling. But when it comes to Landon non of them give a shit, why it's because Landon isn't one of them, he's something completely different, he's part "monster" he's the son of Malivore. Even when he was a Phoenix he was still a outsider because he wasn't one of the 3 species. Hope and Rafael care about Landon(for who he is) because they know what it feels like to feel alone, a freak, out of place, unwanted they understand that feeling better than anyone especially Hope. Everyone else doesn't, and it's because Landon isn't one of them that they don't care for him or feel anything for him on that regard. Since the witches tend to always stay with the witches(their coven), the werewolves have their pack and if you're not apart of it they don't care. The vampire stick with the vampires to a fault in way(given how they acted in s1 when Kaleb got locked up for drinking human blood and found out Mg was the reason). I mean Kaleb even had that saying back in s1 "vamps before tramps". Not to mention that in 3x16 Kaleb, Mg and Alaric cared more about finding Cleo than Landon, heck Alaric even said we lost one of own but was only talking about Cleo and not Landon.But what makes that whole thing worse is that for Landon his whole life. If you think back to s1 he told Hope "I needed help and you came. That's never happened to me before." Even in 1x16 when he saw Hope you could see it in his face that he was surprised that Hope actually came for him. I mean can you imagine growing up like that? To grow up not only unloved, but scared everyday of your life. Never knowing if the next home you get sent to would be a good one and if you'll be safe there. Wishing more than anything that someone anyone would care enough to come and safe you, take you away from that place. And I honestly feel like when Landon really does come back his mind set will be there "I can't believe Hope came for me".

P.S lol don't mind me I kind of fell down the Landon Kirby Rabbit hole today.

Yep, they definitely act very differently towards Landon and seem like they couldn’t care less about him, but I never thought of it being because of his species, but that’s very interesting. They have criticized him because of his Phoenix powers before, and have viewed him as weaker because his powers aren’t like the supernatural abilities that vampires, witches, and werewolves have. So he has been an outsider for being a Phoenix in that way, plus the fact that he is Malivore’s son, so you bring up a good point. It hasn’t actually been talked about in the show (except for the insults about him being weak because of his lack of “useful” powers as a Phoenix) but who knows, maybe it does have something to do with the way they treat him.

And yeah, exactly, Hope and Raf truly love Landon. And they have a better understanding of him and a stronger connection because they’ve had similar experiences like he has. But even without them having gone through similar things, they still just care about Landon, as they should, and they value him. Because you shouldn’t have to have those things in common with someone in order to care about them and value them. So even if the other characters can’t relate to Landon the same way Hope and Raf can and don’t see Landon as one of them supernaturally, it still makes no sense to me why they don’t care about him.

And what’s also strange is that, when you think about it, some of the other characters have had experiences where they should be able to understand and relate to Landon more, if that’s what it takes for them to care about him. Like Lizzie, for example, knows what it’s like to be bullied and to not be accepted by people, like Landon has experienced (yet she has been insensitive about the bullying Landon has endured and has bullied him herself). MG knows what it’s like to be unwanted and abandoned by your parents, like Landon has experienced. Alaric has seen and been through so much, he should be able to understand and care more about what Landon has gone through. And Josie at least used to be very close to Landon, and used to be protective of him. Yet none of these things are enough for any of them to care about him now? Or the fact that he’s helped all of them, he’s always done what he can to help the school, he saved Lizzie twice... none of this is enough to get them to value his life more?

I just don’t see why him not being one of those 3 species should matter, but you’re right about all the factions sticking together, so it could be a reason why they all see Landon differently. There’s just not the same sort of attachment or loyalty towards Landon like they have to those who are like them, which is really sad. And that’s so true about Cleo! I’ve only rewatched certain parts of 3x16 so I can’t remember all the details of what was said about finding Cleo. But I do remember that MG and Kaleb were both going for Cleo, she was the priority. They talked about her on the way there, no mention of Landon, even after what MG had done. I mean, you’d think that he would feel some remorse, that he might feel a bit hesitant or worried or awkward about seeing Landon again? But no, they just talked about what Kaleb should say to Cleo, not a thought about what MG might say to Landon or apologizing to him or anything? It’s like, not only do they just not care about Landon and all that he’s been through, but they don’t even think of him, it’s like they forget he even exists sometimes.

But yes! I’ve thought about that so much. After Landon has gone his whole life being unwanted and unloved, it just makes the way everyone treats him so much worse. And that’s so true, the fact that he was surprised in season 1 when Hope came for him says so much. Everything you said, it’s genuinely so sad. He’s been so uncared for throughout his life that he doesn’t even expect people to be there for him, and is surprised when they are. And you could be right, maybe once he’s back he’ll still be surprised that Hope came for him and did so much to save him. I feel like he was at the point where, when he first ended up in Malivore, he did believe Hope would save him. But after so long, and after all that’s happened, he probably stopped believing that, he might have felt like there was no way he could be saved. So I would think that him finding out all that Hope did for him and how she has fought for him will have a big effect on him. Because Hope showed how much she loves him throughout the whole season, but he wasn’t there to see it. So I hope we get to see some of his reaction to that, and for him to know just how much Hope loves him, possibly even more than he knew before. So at least there’s that, despite how everyone else has treated him.

[myrandomthoughtsblog]

Jack Morton x Fem!reader

A/n: english is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there is any mistakes. It's super fluff, hope you'll like it.

Y/n Duke had been a werewolf almost as long as her older brother Hamish. She's preety close to him, the same way she's close to all the kinghts, exepct for one of them - Jack Morton.

For some reason the girl and the newest werewolf don't get along that well. Y/n never wanted him to be part of the knights and blames him for all the problems with the order, while Jack thinks she's stupid and selfish, since he's a good werewolf. But let's just say that some things are about to change.

The order, and therefore the knights, had a new threat to deal with. A guy called Peter Don was doing lots of bad magic and hunting anyone that knew how to make it, all because he wanted to be the only person that possessed such thing.

Hamish and the werewolfs already knew about this whole thing, but had never managed to found the guy, so when Vera told him his name Duke was quick to call an emergency meeting with the rest.

Lilith and Randall had just arived to the house, only to find Jack and Y/n arguing about something that happend at their class a couple minuts ago, they rolled their eyes and set down, both of them were extremely tired of their bullshit. As soon as Hamish arrived he made them stop fighting and told everything Vera said to him, then the group started to plan what to do next.

Randall and Lilith were going to Peter's workplace, a clothing store, in order to investigate, Hamish was going to do some research about the guy with a couple books Vera had given to him, while Y/n and Jack were going to his place, neither of them were happy with it, but according to the older Duke they needed to be able to work together.

The car ride to Peter's place was very quite and weird. When they arrived Y/n informed their groupchat, Randall and Lilith already were taking a look at the store and Hamish said he hasn't found anything yet.

The duo broke into the guy's house and started to look for anything sightly suspicious. Nothing in the first floor, and nothing in the second, when they were heading to the basement Jack, that was pretty quiet, openned his mouth to talk about something that was not about Peter.

"Y/n"

"Morton"

"Why do you hate me so much?"

A minute of silence followed his question.

"What?"

"Like I get it that I caused a couple of problems and shit, but besides that, what did I ever do for you to hate me that much?"

"Well i-, you annoy me and you also hate me, so I don't get why you are asking me this."

"I was just wondering"

"You can wonder when we catch this bad guy"

The conversation ended but Y/n kept thinking about that. Why did she hate Jack so much? Okay, sure, he was annoying, but there was something more and she couldn't find out what, and this was making her pretty pissed.

Morton and Duke entered the basement, only to see something, actually, someone that Y/n didn't like that much either - Alyssa Drake.

Jack got quite excited to see the girl he once had a crush on, what only made Y/n roll her eyes. Alyssa said Vera asked her to see if his house had something weird, but she hadn't found anything. Jack started to make a small talk with her, and Y/n quickly dragged him out of that place.

"You should stop talking to Alyssa"

"What, why?"

"There's something about her that dosen't sit right with me"

"Are you jelous?

Y/n turned to Jack with a pretty angry face, but if you looked close enought a blush could be seen.

"If you think I'll ever feel something for you Morton, you need help"

Jack looked a bit sad, but hided that with a playfull smirk, when he was about to open his mouth to say something sarcastic, Y/n screamed.

Peter had found them, stabbed Y/n and started to run. Y/n feel into the ground and tried to stop the bleeding.

"Go after him"

"What no I can't just let you bleeding here"

"It's okay, I'll heal"

The boy stoped to think for a moment, but when Y/n gave him the sweetest smile ever, he decided to go after Peter, after all she's a werewolf, she would be fine.

Morton started to run after Don, but Y/n wasn't healing, so she looked over to her belly, and guess what, a green smoke was coming out of it. The knive Peter used was poisoned, Y/n thought it was funny, since her brother had once being stabbed by a poisoned knive. She tried to reach her phone and call someone, but she didn't had enought strenght for that, the poison was way to strong.

All she could do was wait for Jack to come back and help her. When Y/n was about to close her eyes she heard him call her name and Jack started to run towards her.

The order wanted Peter alive so that they could ask him questions, so Jack had only knocked him out and was trying to get him to his car.

He kneeled next to Y/n and told her to hold on while he pressed her belly to make the bleeding stop. The first thing Jack did was call Alyssa, he asked the blonde girl to come pick Peter and take him to Vera, then he proceeded to pick Y/n and take her to his car.

Alyssa did what he asked and Jack was now driving pretty fast to the knights place. He kept assuring Y/n that she would be fine, but deep down he didn't really know what would happen, the only thing he knew was that he couldn't just lose Y/n, no not like that.

As soon as he arrived at the house Jack picked her up very carefully and opened the door. Lilith looked over from her sit to see what all that noise was, only to find her best friend dieing in Jack's arms.

While Morton was putting her on the sofa, Batory shouted for Hamish and Randall that came downstairs running. Jack told everything that happen and Lilith was preparing a potion that would cure her, at least that's what they hoped, Hamish and Randall were freaking out.

Y/n drunk the disgusting potion and the green smoke was gone. She was fine and already healing. The knights were pretty happy and relieved, but Jack still had a sad expression.

He almost lost the girl he loves and she doesn't even know that, actually it's worse, she doesn't feel the same.

After that Randall left, he had a date with Gabrielle, Lilith helped Y/n go to her room upstairs and went to her own, Hamish had to go report everything to Vera, and maybe make out with her, but Jack had nothing to do, so he just set down in the living room and kept thinking about his feeling towards the girl that hated him.

A couple hours passed, it was pretty late now, and Jack got tired of just thinking, it was time to do something about that, even if later he might regret it. So he walked to Y/n's room expecting her to still be awake. Her door was open so he entered the room.

"Wow Morton what are you doing awake? It's pretty late."

Y/n said that in a very cute tone, not the one she usually uses with Jack. The thing is that she had also being thinking about the same thing he had. Y/n realized that the reason why she had been hating him so much lately, was that she actually liked him and was scared to do something about it, so Y/n thought pretending she still hated him like she once did would make her feelings go away. But today when she saw Jack all worried about her, everything changed.

"Don't say anything just let me talk. I don't hate you okay, I once did but not anymore."

Y/n was very confused.

"I like you, not only as a friend. I have been liking you for a couple months now, and I didn't knew how to tell you."

Okay now Y/n was chocked. Was she dreaming? Did the poison actually kill her and now she was seeing things?

"Look I know you hate me and stuff, but today when you almost died I realized I needed to tell you, so well, you know."

Y/n got up from her bed and walked up to Jack.

"You can keep hating me no problem, i-"

"Just shut up and kiss me Morton"

"Wait, what?"

"I like you too asshole"

"For real?"

"Yes"

Y/n and Jack kissed each other with a lot of passion and love. It was a slow and sweet kiss, but a very needed one, after all both of them had been pretending they hated each other for way longer than they should.

After what seamed to be a long time, they finally broke the kiss to breathe, and they couldn't stop smiling, everything was okay now.

"Wow, hm this was pretty nice, but I think you have to rest, I mean, you were stabbed today"

Y/n agreed and Jack started to leave her room, but she stopped him before he could actually leave.

"Can you stay here with me?

"Of course"

Y/n and Jack got into the girl's bed and cuddled. Her head was close to his neck and he was holding her while drawing random things with his finger in her exposed skin.

The room was silent, but there was no need for words, all they needed was each other. Then Jack said something and blushed

"Can you play with my hair please?"

Y/n smiled and nodded. Now her hand was tangled in Morton's hair, both of them were extremely happy.

Time passed and they stayed like this, sometimes Jack would say something about how good that felt and Y/n would laugh saying she loved his hair. That was when she started to feel her eyes closing, she was super tired.

"Thanks for helping me today, and thanks for staying here with me."

Y/n said that in a tired and sweet voice while yawning.

"Anything for you princess."

Jack kissed her forehead and they fell asleep together without a care in the world.

[redhairedwolfwitch]

I Could Not Have Done This Without You - Legacies x Noralise!Daughter!Reader

This Christmas Was Surprisingly Violent

B/m/n = biological mother’s name

///

“You didn’t tell me I was rooming with Alyssa Chang!” Hope whisper-yelled at you as she ran into you carrying another box of her things.

“Yeah, well, my room was too small to shove another bed in, plus, all that dark magic Josie used kept giving me migraines so I live half on campus and half off of it now.”

“Why is the dark magic giving her migraines?”

“Not sure, maybe they’ll figure it out.” B/m/n answered Mary-Lou’s question before chuckling at how you and Hope were acting.

“Also, why has everything moved around? Have you seen my timetable!”

“Yeah, I got lost three times trying to find history class, on that note, I have to go to maths class, later Hope-”

“Wait, at least tell me where spell lab is, ugh.”

///

“And comic books are the literal equivalent of a cold shower!”

“That’s actually a graphic novel.”

You rolled your eyes at MG and Lizzie, deciding against sitting with them as you wandered around trying to find someone to talk to.

“Where is everyone? I thought Y/n had friends?” Nora admitted, glancing around as they followed you walking around trying to find someone to talk to.

Raf was with his dad.

Landon was dealing with Sebastian and you couldn’t stand Sebastian.

Lizzie was avoiding Sebastian.

Josie didn’t really talk to you anymore.

Maya was in class.

And Hope had disappeared.

“God, I miss Penelope.” You grumbled to yourself, almost shocked that you did in fact miss Penelope Park.

///

Whispers of what had happened at lunch had managed to reach you, Alyssa Chang breaking a plate to make Sebastian lose control.

Only that failed and it affected every other vampire in the place instead.

Especially MG with his ripper issue.

“The vampires at this school really are a mess.”

“What did they expect by training them on animal blood?” Mary-Louise rolled her eyes as she spoke, leaving Nora to smirk.

///

“Y/n and I can help. I’m sure it will be good practice-”

“Thank you, but I actually don’t need any help.” Josie cut Hope off after Dorian walked away, leaving you to grimace as you head began to pound.

“Lizzie told me about the sandclock. She thought I could help. Y/n, you okay?”

“We need to get rid of that dark magic before it gives me another migraine or a fucking cluster headache.” You grumbled, leaning into Hope as she reached for you.

“My friend Vincent told me a story about Mora Miseriums that hold the effects of dark magic... and how dangerous they can be if they break. Look, you can’t nullify the dark magic inside, but you can put a protective barrier around the outside. I also thought we could use Y/n’s angel magic to amplify the barrier. I know a spell.” Hope explained, presenting the folded parchment before you took it from her to read.

“Hey!”

“I’m surprised you two didn’t know about Mora Miseriums.”

“Clarke might have even gotten the thing from the armoury for all we know.” Mary-Lou snapped at B/m/n’s remark.

///

It was getting dark by the time you, Hope and Josie were preparing to spell the barrier around the Mora Miserium.

You were sat with an icepack on your face, until you noticed how your fingers almost looked like they were glowing.

“Are you seeing this?”

“I’m standing right next to you!”

“Both of you shut up!”

The dark magic wasn’t making you ill, it was amplifying your angel magic so much that your body was struggling to adjust.

“It’s actually kind of beautiful.” Hope admitted as she looked down at the sandclock after the spell. She hadn’t noticed your realisation at all and neither had Josie.

“I guess, if you can look past the visions of doom. Thank you for doing this. I couldn’t have done this without you, either of you.” Josie replied, leaving Hope to smile.

“Neither of them noticed Y/n... should make for an interesting reveal when there is one.” Nora chuckled, smiling as Mary-Louise wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer.

“No, thank you, this is the most normal I’ve felt all day. You should know that Vincent also told me, the sandclock degrades over time. It will break down from the inside, no matter what we do. But this should give us some time to defuse it. Y/n, you’re up- are you okay?” Hope asked, leaving you to sigh.

“I’m fine.” You brushed off her question, whispering a spell under your breath to form a glowing orb of power.

“Y/n-” Josie began but you flicked the orb as the sandclock, watching as it grew and surrounded the clock before turning invisible.

“Did you do it?” Hope asked, leaving you to nod, hiding how your pain had stopped as soon as you cast the spell.

///

You were sat in the hidden room in your room when you rang Maya.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t call before, my migraine just stopped.”

You smiled at Maya’s question.

“Yeah, I’d love to, that sounds great... wait, your mum wants to meet me? Uh... when, yeah, okay, I’ll calendar it in, goodnight Maya.” You smiled as the two of you talked, just before you felt a shift in the air that made you pause.

“What the hell?”

“Either of you feel that?”

“Like we’re being watched? Yes.” B/m/n replied, folding her arms as she watched you look around.

This is Why We Don’t Entrust Plans to Muppet Babies

[hvproductions]

SUMMARY: The Knights of Saint Christopher learn of your involvement with The Order, prompting you and Hamish to break up. When Edward Coventry takes you as a hostage Hamish realizes that despite everything, he doesn’t want to lose you | Requested by: @elleclairez​  FANDOM: The Order PAIRING: Reader x Hamish Duke WORD COUNT: 1604

WARNINGS: Swearing, violence, mention of death

||| ||| ||| ||| |||

When you entered the building belonging to the Knights of Saint Christopher, you instantly knew something was wrong. The four members sitting on the couch in silence was an indicator on its own, yet what worried you the most was their glances and the easily readable expressions on their faces. Lilith seethed with anger, Randall and Jack both with sympathy in their eyes. The look that Hamish, your boyfriend, gave you screamed of anger, hurt, and disappointment all together. Every emotion of theirs was directed towards you, and there was no denying of the reason behind this: the secret of you being in The Order had come out, and now you would have to face the consequences that would surely by dire. 

“I can explain.” You quickly walked closer to them, stopping in surprise when Lilith jumped up with the intention of attacking you; she would have succeeded if Randall hadn’t held her back as the girl struggled against his grip.

“You’re a fucking traitor! We were your friends, we told you everything, and you thank us by stabbing us in the back! Did you tell your precious little Order everything about us?” Lilith yelled with so much anger in her voice that for a second you thought she’d kill you is she’d have the chance.

“I swear to you, I never said anything about you to anything. I would never do-”

“Bullshit!”

“Enough!” Silence befell the whole room due to Hamish’s loud outburst; during your months of dating it was the first time you heard him yell with so much authority in his voice that made no one question why he was the leader of the Knights.

“I want to talk to Y/N, alone.” When no one moved, he added: “Now.”

You stayed put, not daring to move an inch. Forcing herself away from Randall’s grasp, Lilith passed you by deliberately bumping into your shoulder; Randall passed you with a small sympathetic smile on his face while Jack guiltily walked away, leaving you with Hamish who had already managed to fix himself a drink which he downed rapidly fast.

“Were you going to tell me? That you are in The Order?” He silently asked, his eyes desperately searching for an honest answer. You had never seen him looking as broken as he did now; the sadness in his eyes made a tear roll down your cheek. It took everything in you not to walk over to him in order to hug him, even though you knew he would most definitely reject your attempt to do so.

“It’s the only way I can have my scholarship.” You explained, though the look in his eyes said that he did not care much for your excuse. “I promise you Hamish, I did not betray you.”

“You did so by joining The Order and not telling me about it.”

||| ||| ||| ||| |||

The next couple of days proved out to be hellish: Lilith and Hamish didn’t want anything to do with you. Randall and Alyssa provided their company after your heartbreak. It was impossible to avoid Jack - the boy apologized for being the person responsible for your breakup, and although you wanted to blame him you knew you couldn’t. The guilt was solemnly on you - you had months to tell Hamish and the other Knights, but didn’t do so only because of fear.

You were such a walking mess that you had managed to ruin a couple of incantations. To make matters worse, they had been for the Grand Magus, and to say he wasn’t happy was an understatement. Luckily, the only punishment you received was that you couldn’t attend the said incantations; you weren’t too sad about it. It was evident you did more bad that good, and perhaps some time away from The Order would provide useful in order to get yourself together.

While The Order waited, your classes didn’t. It didn’t help that you had to see Hamish in a class he taught you - if only people knew you were together with a teacher of yours. It was Alyssa who made the suggestion to skip the class, yet assuring her that you were fine - even though you were not - you still decided to attend his class. After all, you needed every possible credit in order to graduate.

Walking into the class, your eyes briefly met with Hamish’s before he averted his glance away from you. With a small sigh you passed him silently, taking your usual seat in the middle of the classroom. Not a lot of students were present, and you weren’t sure what to make of it. Hamish always liked to engage his students in a conversation, and it wasn’t unusual for you and him to argue passionately about a topic that he was teaching. Arguing with him didn’t seem like a good idea now as you made a promise to yourself not to provoke him the following classes you had to share with him.

About ten minutes into your class, your phone silently vibrated in your pocket. You instantly took it out, reading a message from Alyssa who wondered how the class was going. Just as you were about to reply your best friend, Hamish spoke out loudly: “Miss Y/L/N, no phones in class. You have attended plenty enough to know this rule.”

Responding with a glare, you slammed your phone onto your desk, gaining your fellow students’ attention. To them it seemed as if you were only angry because of getting caught, yet you and Hamish knew the truth. If he wanted to act like a douchebag - one who didn’t even bother to listen to you - so could you.

||| ||| ||| ||| |||

You knew the Vade Maecum shouldn’t belong to no one, especially to a Grand Magus such as Edward Coventry. That man only thought of no one but himself, and with such a powerful book in his possession, you knew that no one would be safe. When Alyssa came to you for your help, of course you said yes. Even though your magic was not as strong as Alyssa’s, you knew that you had to try to stop him, especially when she revealed to you that Jack was Edward’s firstborn son; you cared too much for him to let him be sacrificed.

For a reason unknown to you, Edward decided not to kill you and Alyssa on the spot like he had done to Jack’s grandfather. Instead, he deemed it wise to bring you along with your best friend to the temple with him, Jack following close behind. For a brief moment you saw Hamish, Randall and Lilith about to attack the Grand Magus. When Hamish saw you being dragged inside, he instantly tried to attack Edward without thinking; he didn’t succeed, as the Magus used a blast on all of the Knights, knocking them out instantly. 

Jack had proved to be smarter that anyone else, making it seem as if the golem Clay was him instead. Therefore, the sacrifice Edward wanted to do so badly didn’t succeed; when he saw the Knights along with Vera Stone raid into the temple, he grabbed you as a hostage, a knife finding its way onto your neck.

You were scared, you really were. When you looked at Hamish you saw that he was too. Yet you forced yourself to give him a small smile before you dropped onto the ground, blood flowing down from your neck. You didn’t see anything else but Hamish desperately trying to do anything to help you; you placed your hand onto his cheek as he looked at you with tears in his eyes. Before you closed your eyes you tried your best to tell him that you loved him, but failed to do so. You waited for the pain to arrive, but instead, peacefulness came.

||| ||| ||| ||| |||

You didn’t think you’d open your eyes ever again, yet surprisingly, you did. You found yourself lying in Hamish’s room; as soon as he saw you waking up, he grabbed your hands and gave them a tight squeeze. His eyes were red, as if he had been crying for hours straight, and you noticed that his knuckles were covered in blood like he had hit something or someone many times. 

“What happened? Did you get Edward?” You questioned, trying to sit up in the bed as if you wanted to go after him. Hamish couldn’t help but to let out a small chuckle at that, forcing you to lay down and not make any sudden movements. 

“Why am I not surprised that even after dying you want to go after the bad guy?” He asked with amusement that quickly turned into seriousness. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I thought so too.” You replied, not quite realizing how you were yet alive. Hamish provided an answer by telling you that Vera had used magic to save your life, and that Edward Coventry was now gone.

“I’m sorry for not listening to you. I was blinded by the fact that you are in The Order and how they are our enemies. I know that you would never use bad magic, but I-”

“Don’t forget the time you acted like a douchebag in class.” You added to which he replied with a chuckle.

“Yeah, that too. But seeing you like that, I realized that I don’t even care that you are in The Order. I had someone I loved once, and I lost her.” He stopped, letting out a small breath as he continued: “But I don’t want to ever lose you, because I love you.”

“Hamish, I love you too, with all my heart.”

[mintseesaw]

huling sandali 

translation. last moment ⇀ an entry for paraluman playlist

pairing: namjoon x reader genre: angst, est. relationship au word count: 2.2k warnings: themes of insecurities being triggered, emotional struggles, a break-up drabble a.k.a not a happy ending // pg-13

drabble request by @jim-parkin​​ with “pighati + namjoon” hi hjdgdhsgsg im sorry it took me 3254 years to write this :((( i hope you like it. Also, happy belated birthday, alyssa!!! huh i just found out like 10 hrs ago prior to posting this on my first attempt hfdkdjdh im a horrible friend but ily ;-( *unedited

Namjoon arrived home by the time you started packing your stuff. He found you sitting on the living room floor, casually sorting things and putting them in labeled boxes laid in front of you.

You were supposed to ignore him, just like what he’s been doing in the past week. You realized, days of argument after argument before seems better than a whole week of silence in the apartment. The loneliness becomes greater, the glassy tension— unbearable, and his passive treatment more than anything else, hurts you the most.

You couldn’t look at him, having no will to possibly see the indifference on his face while he watches you gradually removing your traces in his place.

As seconds turn minutes since the distinct click of the door closing snaps shut, you took notice of the prolonged silence without the tap of the heels of his black shoes on the granite floor resonating through the living room. With your curiosity suddenly distracting you out of your focus, your head tilted on your side to peek behind you.

There he was, standing so tall and so formal with a frown on his face. His eyes shone not because of the lenses of his glasses but from the unshed tears on his eyes. When your gazes met, he was quick to crane his neck to the opposite side.

You open your mouth to call him to gather his attention. But he was already walking away out of the living room.

It’s been a whole week since you told him you’ll move out. He perfectly understood the implication of it. He objected, tried to convince you not to leave. When his attempts went futile, he did stop trying. Then fostered the silence between the two of you.

He avoided you while you try to make things right by keeping the break up somewhat acceptable on both terms. His refusal to speak with you seemed to convince you that, somehow, he had given up, silently giving you the signal to proceed on your plans.

Half an hour later, you began emptying half of the wardrobe in the walk-in closet. Coincidentally, he was in the shower at the time. After work, he’d routinely clean himself up before he rests or eats dinner with you. However, he stopped taking meals with you nor stayed in the bedroom to read the day you broke the word to him. With his persistence to avoid your presence, you’re almost sure he would let you be in peace while you packed the last bit of your clothes from the closet.

You’re supposed to leave days ago. The tenant of the apartment complex you found weeks prior has been non stop bugging you to move in.

However, you cannot just leave without a proper goodbye to him. In fact, he should be the one leaving you, not the other way around. But he couldn’t do that. Because he owns this place just as much as he owns nearly everything here including your heart.

Namjoon would never ask you to leave, even if he wants you to. That’s how much goodness there is in him. You just happened to take advantage of it and live comfortably by his side.

With your emotions at bay, a silent tear spid down your cheeks, leaving a dot of patch on the fabric of your folded clothes as you fill up your luggage on the bed.

Mere seconds later just as you hear the bathroom door opening, you feel the familiar, strong arms snaked over your waist from behind making you still instantaneously on the spot.

“Namjoon—“

“Don’t… don’t leave.” He says to you for the first time in a week.

His wet hair quickly drenches the spot on your shoulder where he laid his forehead.

Squeezing his hand pressed on your stomach, you smile weakly without facing him. “We talked about this.”

You felt his forehead grazing your shoulder blade as he shakes his head, “I don’t agree with this.”

“We both need this. We need to give each other time to breathe.” You murmur under your breath, nearly admitting the real reason behind your decision. That you knew. You knew he was suffering, and he was trying not to show it to you.

“I don’t need it if you’re not with me.” Namjoon says back, the grip of his arms around tightening.

Sighing, “You’re smarter than me, Joon. You know it’s been tough for the both of us. You’ve been so patient with me and I know you’re getting tired.”

“We can s-still make this work. Fighting is normal. Arguments allow us to speak of our minds. We learn but we move on from it because we love each other.”

“We tried, Joon. So many times. So many times that there’s nothing left of me but doubts and insecurities.”

Namjoon plants a subtle kiss on the side of your head. You remained pliant to his embrace, almost not wanting for him to let you go. For him to insist his place in your life despite your determination to fulfill what you need to do.

“I can wait until you’re ready to love yourself, again.” He attempts once more. He’s always honest with his thoughts so you know he’s sincere when he speaks his heart out.

“That’s not how it works.”

“Then tell me what I should do, please don’t give up just yet.”

His words are like a twisting fire of a knife in your chest, slithering your heart apart and burning the shreds into ashes. The room suddenly feels suffocating and stiff.

Disentangling his arms around your waist, you turn to finally face him. If you’re not only so emotionally invested with the confrontation, you could have stared at him and let your eyes admire every detail on his face until he shies away from your peer that cheeks bloom with crimson tint. Just like the old times.

But your chances have run out, moments have fleeted, your time with him is almost over. Your palms harshly wiping wet traces on your cheeks, refusing to cry in front of him. With a tilt of your chin up, he struck you with his sorrowful, pleading eyes.

“Do you really want someone like me? Someone who depends on you— financially, physically, emotionally? You meet a lot of successful women and I fear that I’m not gonna be enough for you. Joon, I’ll always worry and pick up fights with you.”

Tears brimmed on his eyes, shaking his head to stress his disagreement. “You are more than enough for me. I didn’t love you because of what you have. I fell in love with you because of what’s in here,” he points at your chest.

“Why, it’s you who has a pure soul. You have everything a man could have asked for. Any woman would fall at your feet to earn your attention,” your voice deteriorating as your head falling in morose, suddenly losing the ability to hold his stare with the facade of a strength you’re putting up. “You know, I’m so lucky to have you. I’ve always told you that. But now, things changed. You’re suffering because of me. It’s how I realized I have to let you go because I want you to be happy, again.”

He gathers your face with his palms, forcing you to look at him. “No, no, no. That’s not true. You make me happy.. Please, stop this, you’re everything to me…”

His warm breaths fanning your skin with his heavy, calculated breathing.

“It’s me,” you pause, “You’ve taught me how to love but I chose the wrong way, I loved you too much than what I’m capable of giving. Now I’m lost and I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

He inches his face closer until his nose is touching your cheek. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I didn’t mean to change you. I thought I was doing the right thing for you. I want you to dream, I want to see you soar high with your chosen profession. Please, baby don’t leave me. We could fix this.”

No, he was getting the wrong impressions. You didn’t regret going back to college when he pleaded you to. You didn’t regret setting aside your passion for art to continue the education you once took up before you left ran away from home. None of the ugly thoughts poisoning your mind were his doing. It was you and your insecurities.

“It’s not your fault. You saved me, remember? I met you at the time I was drowning in grief. Then I started dreaming. And the day you confessed your feelings to me, you made my dream come true. That was more than enough for me, Joon. Every inch of you became my happiness and it pains me to see I’m the one making you suffer.”

“Listen to me, _____. You make me happy. There’s no perfect relationship. But you’re perfect to me. You’ve always kept me grounded, made me think of my future, made me thrive for our future. No woman has had me at my worst, they only want the good things in life. You’ve been through tough times. But the kindness in your heart remains immeasurable, do you hear me? You deserve everything I have offered and so much more, baby.”

His thumbs patiently brushing the tears away.

“I can’t keep dragging you with my downfall.”

“I don’t want us fighting but sometimes, it gets out of hand. I stay at an arm’s length but it doesn’t mean I want you gone. Because at the end of the day, I’d want to go home to you even when we’re not okay.”

Your eyes fluttered close, not bearing to see the tears free-flowing on his cheeks. Namjoon rarely cries in front of you. Even before when you were purposely trying to aim his heart with your sharp words, nothing could seem to break him down. It’s always you who’s end up losing. Crying.

Silence filled the air for a moment until you heard him shifted. Then you felt a pressure on the side of your thighs and when you caught up what he did, your knees almost gave out.

“Namjoon— w-what are you doing? Stand up!”

His fingers dug deep on the skin of your thighs, head hung long, “Don't leave,” he begs.

“No, stand up!” You sob in disbelief. He couldn’t do this when you should be the one begging for forgiveness for failing him.

Hurriedly, you shuffled on your knees, fisting his shirt as you sobbed on his chest.

His arms gave you warmth as they enveloped over your back. As the room starts to drown with your muffled cries, he cups your face and in a matter of second, Namjoon’s lips are on yours, swallowing your sobs and murmuring sweet I love you’s while keeping your connected lips with his.

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours, your insides are a mess, dreading for the end of this moment. With his concern to your plan, he refuses to loosen his hold on you. Even when you urged him to lie down on the bed with you, he didn’t move not until you tugged his body down beside you.

The rhythmic brushes of your fingers on his hair have calmed him down but with his arm secured over your back. It was only when he finally fell asleep when the grip of his arm loosens.

It’s been hours. You haven’t gotten a wink of sleep, and the sun will soon rise in a matter of an hour or two.

It doesn’t resolve the issue. It won’t because you know the next day, things will be the same. Same insecurities will eat you up alive until you burst your anger at him. And then the fight starts, arguments will inevitably tear you two apart. It’s an unending cycle of toxicity that not even yourself can control. Not until you allow yourself to heal.

Until then, you deem yourself unworthy of his love.

You need to leave before he wakes up. You know, it wouldn’t take long before you regret your decision.

“Meeting you was the best thing that happened in my life. I’m sorry for failing you, for failing myself. I hope,” you choke as a lump forms in your throat, “... you’ll be proud of me when I get better even when you have found someone else.” You ended your parting words with your lips pressing gently on the back of his hand.

Your shoulders slightly shake, your hands tremble as sobs threaten to break from your throat.

Your thumb carefully caresses his knuckles, watching him sleep so peacefully with your blurry vision. Suddenly, you couldn’t find the strength in you to pull yourself up.

“Why is it so hard to leave?” You whisper, looking at his sleeping figure.

He is your strength. Your happiness. The owner of your heart. Your dream come true. Someday, you’ll return and take your heart back from him. But for now, you’ll have to start living without it.

With one last look, you stood up with all your might and let the tears fall mercilessly as you fought back the urge to run back to him.

~~~

That moment still remains vivid in your mind, as fresh as the wound in your heart a year later. If you could only turn back the time, you wish he was awake to stop you from leaving. Now, all you could do is watch him from afar at his favorite coffee shop with someone else. The same one he used to take you at. He looks genuinely happy. At least, the break up did him good.

Every time you stood up from your seat to leave, you keep reminding yourself it’s the last time you’ll hope for your paths to cross. Somehow when the pain gets too much to bear, you always find yourself coming back here. Hoping. For another chance. You have the answer to that now. Someone else has already taken your place in his heart.

Inside the coffee shop, the girl sitting across him huffs while watching you walk away out of the establishment. She shifts her gaze to the man in front of her whose attention has speechlessly zeroed in on your figure through the glass walls.

“When will you actually start talking to the girl? You’ve been dragging me here for over a month now. My time is precious, Kim. It’s so obvious you’re smitten for her!” She glares.

Namjoon didn’t answer, only because he doesn’t know how. How do I win her back?

mintseesaw © 2020