Tumgik
#COZ I KNOW HOW TO USE THOSE KNOW
i-wear-the-cheese · 1 year
Text
Me approaching a random lesbian couple: so uh, which one of you is the dark religious fanatic and which is the brawny two-handed weapon fighter?
907 notes · View notes
themidnightcircusshow · 7 months
Text
Every new thing I learn about James Somerton's process just drives home how he almost (but really doesn't) knows what he's doing. Yes, of course you use the sources you read as a jumping off point. Of course you copy and paste the important sections into your outline document so you can reread them. That's why you put them in quotation marks.
#James Somerton#honesty time: I totally believe he did this by accident#his entire problem is that he writes like a fandom account with bad takes#his anecdotal evidence that Todd in the Shadows spent a two hour video trying to find sources for?#they're all fandom drama taken out of their cultural context#(yes fandom counts as a subculture and therefore has specific context)#and all of it gets attributed to straight white women coz everyone knows shippers are all straight and cis women /s#he simultaneously treats his videos like bad fandom meta and Documentaries of Great Importance and those just do not mesh#it's part of why his videos were so unbearable if you actually knew what he was talking about#he learned how to make a youtube video essay. He did not learn how to write or study any of his chosen subject matter#I think that's also why he was not expecting to be called out the way he has because I suspect he probably thought everyone wrote this way#a lot of old video essayists especially the Chez Apocalypse bunch were very good at not broadcasting just how much went into their videos#so their style that has now become the norm feels incredibly off the cuff but is heavily researched#but also they are using that research to support their own hypotheses and ideas as you are supposed to#so I wonder if when he got called out he just brushed it off because surely he just writes the same way everyone writes#(and hey fandom posts are rarely cited because they assume everyone knows what they are talking about)#it almost makes me feel sorry for him but all I can think about is how catstrophically bad he is at this job#oh and for everyone wondering: I've found the best way to research is to put quotes in quotation marks#paraphrasing in either different punctuating or a different colour#and your own personal thoughts based on the source in something different again#all with the correct citations for your preferred style#this makes sure you have everything cited so when you put it all together you can do it easily without having to go back through it all#and prevents this from happening#(tbh I'm kinda sad I'm not still teaching. This would have been a perfect meme for how to do your damn citations week)
10 notes · View notes
Text
I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like don’t get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and there’s bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#I’ve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like there’s so much potential obviously I’m biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or don’t like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#I’m just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like there’s so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and it’s just like it feels like either#half baked or that it’s gone through too many edits it’s like it’s scared to exist?? like there’s some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but it’s like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form it’s a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but you’d definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Regina’s characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they could’ve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#she’s singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz there’s#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like… yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isn’t out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didn’t care much for the straight plot stuff there’s 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original it’s regular algebra not AP calc which I think could’ve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
4 notes · View notes
ko-eko-ev-go-ms · 7 months
Text
It continues to trip me up how much human brains are just weird organic computers
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#additionally wild that the easiest ways for me to explain brain stuff are generally in computer or video game terms despite the fact I’m#notoriously awful with computers (and to a lesser extent video games) although I won’t if my natural inclination would be different if I#didn’t have trauma related to computers/if maybe it’s the classic adhd interest based learning difference? unknown tbh#I still really wanna go to school to study people but academics is fucked as hell so making that work will be a personal hell for me#but also I have so many theories and data I can’t do anything super tangible with coz I’m not in an academic setting so even if i wanted to#talk about stuff and work on it no one would take me seriously w/o that academic background no matter how much effort I’d put in learning it#on my own for my entire life at this point it won’t matter if it’s not on some level acknowledged by an academic system I despise tbh#it’s one of those things that makes me miss my dad coz we used to commiserate together about these sorts of things tho he made it work far#better than I have been able to. i wish i could ask him science questions again.#anyway human brains are so fascinating but also I really wish I was better at explaining myself analysis of people I feel like I’m good#enough at this point to be like partway understood coz I’ve done so much practice on my own coz I tend to rehearse explanations ahead of tim#but its still often misunderstood or misconstrued & it’s understandable a lot of the time coz like most other people aren’t spending a ton#of their free time thinking about and researching how people work/analyzing those around them+themselves vs me whose been doing since like#I dont remember the exact time but I do remember being really young & making the conscious decision to study & analyze my family for example#so that I could be helpful & translate their words to each other better + ppl often don’t see things about themselves that others do#also forever thinking about the human brain/experience in relation to the sims & video game commands lmao#currently trying to explain save states in the human brain to ppl but no one knows wtf I’m talking about#& researching academic terms that are close to what I want doesn’t necessarily work if there’s no academic term for what I’m talking about#hence wanting to do the research myself coz sometimes it feels like there’s all this stuff that’s obvious to me but no one else?? from what#I’ve seen in recent studies they are only starting to scratch the surface of stuff I’ve already known sometimes? other stuff is older & it’s#VERY gratifying when it’s stuff I’ve known but not been listened to about & it actually gets the proper recognition#though getting ppl to actually listen/take what I say seriously is its own journey & I have to be careful myself bc I’m human so my own#understanding/data is constantly updating + I have storage issues so finding the data I have in my brain is its own struggle sometimes#every version of me is interested in people & I think that’s neat even if other people don’t understand that concept#sometimes I feel like an alien/robot whose sole task is just to study & support humanity & it’s very weird tbh
2 notes · View notes
madness-of-void · 7 months
Text
It's absolutely dead slow right now, and the only reason nobody is being sent home is coz somebody else is off already. Even if someone were to be sent home, it wouldn't be me or one other coworker coz we are basically the mules. Lovely.
0 notes
secretidentie · 2 months
Text
I've heard people talk about how gothamites probably assume the Waynes are in the mob and I think it would be funnier if that made more people (including villains) want to be in their good graces.
Goons often try to make a good impression when they're assigned to kidnap a Wayne coz they want to gain their respect while others hide so they don't get a hit put out on them. More then once a goon has brought a CV with him to kidnap Bruce coz he heard the mob pays well. Bruce just gives them jobs at WE.
The penguin would definitely want to form connections or make deals with them. When Bruce insists he isn't a mob boss Penguin thinks he's either playing dumb or he's just being used to launder the money and one of his kids is actually in charge. Tim definitely plays into the crime boss persona sometimes and is Penguin's primary suspect for the ring leader. Jason is offended that no one thinks he "gives off crime boss vibes" and almost reveals his identity in frustration.
Joker's people have also either try to hire them or form a partnership with the Waynes to get more manpower but batman always ruins those schemes prematurely. This isn't particularly unusual for batman to do but the fact that it's a near guaranteed fail indicates that there might be a mole working for Wayne, perhaps the butler, but they don't know enough about the Wayne's businesses and power to throw around baseless accusations. Besides they much prefer working with local trustworthy rogues like Matches Malone anyway.
The only villain really mad about this is Lex Luther coz now Bruce has more money, hair AND street cred then him.
506 notes · View notes
kissmefriendly · 2 years
Text
Wait hold on. I just watched Control and I went and watched some live clips of Ian Curtis’ “dancing” — and a ton of people were calling it that, dancing, you know like it was intentional — when that is exactly the same thing I do, especially when there’s music. I’ve never seen it anywhere else, ever. I asked my doctor who said I’m the only one he’s ever seen it in.
But the hands? That thing he did with his eyes? That is exactly, exactly how I look. Idk man I’m just. Kind of reeling. Who’d have guessed I’d see something so obscure in a real human being??? I could honestly cry, it’s insane.
0 notes
imnameimswrld · 6 months
Text
ⵌ ׄ ۪ 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 ¹⁶ ׄ ⑅ CL16 ‌˖ ֺ ᰮ
Tumblr media
— DESCRIPTION ੭ alex's twin sister has had the hots for a certain blue eyed ferarri driver, and it's finally time to stake her claim on him.
— PAIRING ੭ charles x albon!reader.
— FILE ੭ social media au.
— WARNINGS ੭ language.
— FACE CLAIM ੭ tontawan tantivejakul.
━━━━━━━━━━❪ 🖤 ❫━━━━━━━━━━
alex_albon & yn_albon • 1 hr.
Tumblr media
seen by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 988 335 others
lilymhe replied to alex_albon story !
stop being mean to ur sister alexander.
landonorris replied to alex_albon story !
oh, so that's how it is ? golfing without me now ? okay. cool.
pierregasly relied to your story !
wooaahh, what's with the heart there girl ? trying to steal my man or something ?
get in line gasly, this boy is mine.
user replied to your story !
THE HEART MISS MA'AM !!?!?!?
Tumblr media
THE BETTER TWIN
so golfing was fun guys !
we should totes do it again sometimes 😄
STUPID STINKY COPY & PASTE
why ?
so you can just stand there like a flag pole and flirt with charles the whole time ?
THE BETTER TWIN
exactly ! 😁
LILY MOMMY
AND SHE LOOKED DAMN HOT DOIN' IT TOO.
STUPID STINKY COPY & PASTE
i-
it's always 2 against 1 here.
LILY MOMMY
you'll get used to it hun 💋
THE BETTER TWIN
eewwww no being lovey dovey in the gc allowed.
brb guys, gonna go text my man's
STUPID STINKY COPY & PASTE
HE IS NOT UR-
oh forget it, ur hopeless.
Tumblr media
FUTURE BF
hey y/n !
it's charles here, lily sent me ur number I hope that's cool with you ?
HIS FUTURE GF
hey charles !
yes ofc omg 😊
FUTURE BF
I think I grabbed ur golf set by accident haha 😅
HIS FUTURE GF
oh no problem !
you can give it back tonight at 8pm, at reagan's diner, and wearing ur finest suit because it is a 3 star restaurant.
FUTURE BF
I...
...uhm....
...huh ?
are u... asking me out ?
HIS FUTURE GF
did I stuttter, charles ?
no ?
so 8pm, sharp. those are my favourite golf clubs that i never use, so i'd like them back.
are we clear ?
FUTURE BF.
yes ma'am.
charles_leclerc & ynusername added to their story ! • 2hr
Tumblr media
seen by pierregasly, alex_albon, and 1 224 353 others
alex_albon replied to charles_leclerc story !
WHAT
CHARLES
ARE. U. INSANE.
SHE'S CRAZY !?
but she's miiiinnnneeee 😁
maxverstappen1 replied to charles_leclerc story !
so, what did you do ? huh ?
because how does a total dope like urself, bag a 20 like yn ?
ahh, come on max :\
lilymhe replied to your story !
YAAASSSS QUUEEENNN
GET UR MANS
YOU KNOW IT 😝
user replied to your story !
my wife... had been stolen from me....
user replied to your story !
NO COME BACK TO ME YN 😭
charles_leclerc replied to your story !
how am I going to get people to believe that u wanted me first ?
u won't 🤭
yn_albon
Tumblr media
liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 1 332 454 others
yn_albon suck on ur zero points alexander.
View all comments
logansargeant OUCH.
▹ yn_albon not u logs u know i love ya !
[ liked by logansargeant ]
lilymhe as the girlfriend I shouldn't click a like on this post but...
▹ alex_albon but ? BUT !?
▹ yn_albon love ya too lils baby 🎀
maxverstappen1 the real mic drop is alex thinking that YN ALBON couldn't pull a kid like charles.
▹ charles_leclerc I want to take offense but I can't, because ur very much right.
▹ user HOL' ON- alex thought YN MOTHER ALBON couldn't pull any man of her choosing !? 😭
▹ yn_albon aw, thanks maxie !
alex_albon just say u all hate me and call it a day.
▹ yn_albon quit being dramatic lex and answer mum's ft before she beats ur ass with the wooden spoon again.
user so no one's gonna talk abt slide 3 ? NO ONE !? HELLO !? 😭
♡. ♡. ♡.
imnameimswrld OOHOOO BACK AGAIN ??? hiii lovelies, I hope you're all doing well ! college is trying so hard to kick my ass but i am hanging in there (just barely lol)... but I hope you enjoyed this one, I'm switching up the look of my stuff coz I hate the old look :)
844 notes · View notes
greg-montgomery · 1 year
Note
Friends to lovers with hotch. Bau!Reader has been pining forever but is deciding to move in after seeing Aaron and Beth be with each other. New guy also happens to be a single dad with a boy in jacks grade. Jack is not happy about another boy stealing his mom figure yk? Father son duo working together to get the girl.
Tbh idc what you write coz its always good. And im a sucker for jealous hotch ALWAYS
okay can i just say that when i saw this ask i got obsessed with the concept immediately!!! like that’s so cute???? also while writing this i was thinking “jack is such a little sweetie he wouldn’t have an attitude” but then i thought of this tiktok and remembered he can actually be salty af <33 LMFAOO
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
“Buddy, what’s wrong?”
Jack hadn’t spoken a word the entire ride from school. Aaron was used to his bubbly sweet voice filling the car, telling him all about his day; so the silence was deafening.
“Nothing,” he replied, dropping his small bag on the floor and running to his room.
The truth was, Jack had been pretty moody lately and it was all because of you. Well, it wasn’t your fault of course, but it was your absence that had Jack throwing tantrums in a way he never used to before.
As Aaron’s best friend, your presence in his house, in his home, was a constant. Movies, dinners, board game nights…Jack had grown used to you. And he absolutely adored you.
When Beth came into Aaron’s life, though, things started to change. You were pulling away from him, from them. At first, Aaron thought that maybe you were jealous; and if that was true, he would drop Beth in a heartbeat and run into your arms. After all, she was only a distraction to him in order to get over you.
All those dreams of him were shuttered one day, when he had called to ask you if you’d join him and Jack for a movie night, only to be told you had a date: a date with the dad of one of Jack’s classmates. You told him the two of you met when you went to pick up Jack from school one day, and Aaron cursed the moment he had asked for your help. If he knew the dads there would be all over you, he wouldn’t have let you set foot into that damned school in the first place.
“Jack?” Aaron said, knocking on his door.
“Go away!”
“Jack, please talk to me. I want to help.”
There was a long pause before Jack finally opened the door and let his dad in.
“What did you do to her?” he asked with tears in his eyes.
“Buddy, what are you talking about?”
“Y/N. Why isn’t she your friend anymore?” Jack looked incredibly sad and it broke Aaron’s heart.
“We’re still friends,” he answered, softly. “What makes you think we’re not?”
“She’s never here anymore.”
“I know,” Aaron said. “But that doesn’t mean she’s not our friend anymore. We’ve just both been busier than usual.” He wasn’t technically lying, but he still felt bad.
“Why couldn’t you get together like they do in the movies?” Jack raised his voice. “Now she’s with Charlie’s dad. And she packs Charlie lunch and makes him sandwiches that look like dinosaurs like she used to do with me! It’s not fair, she was ours first!”
Well, that explained why he was so mad after school today.
Aaron couldn’t find any words to say, and how could he when he was just as jealous as his son? Jack was right; you were theirs first. And they’d win you back.
--
“And dad told me we’ll go get ice cream later with Y/N!” Charlie exclaimed, but Jack did not share his enthusiasm.
“Okay,” Jack answered, rolling his eyes.
“And maybe we’ll go to the movies after. She said she loves watching cartoons! She doesn’t think they’re boring like all grown ups,” the kid continued, not realizing he was making Jack upset.
“I know, we watch cartoons all the time together,” he replied.
Right next to them, their fathers had a separate conversation, but very much similar to theirs.
“The kid loves her already,” Charlie’s dad, Nick, said, watching you from afar. They were all waiting for you to finish your little chat with that teacher friend of yours, so they’d finally leave the school building.
“And how can he not, I mean she’s so great,” he added.
“She is,” Aaron agreed, though gritted teeth.
“I’ll take them for ice cream now so they can bond a little more. This girl loves ice cream.”
“Yeah, I know.” Who did that guy think he was? Thinking that any detail about you would be news to Aaron. Of course he knew you loved ice cream. He knew you better than anyone. Anyone.
“Sorry!” you said, walking fast towards their little group. “I hadn’t seen my friend in a while.”
“That’s alright.”
“It’s okay.”
Aaron and Nick talked at the same time, which ended in them sending annoyed glances to each other.
“Well, we better get going then,” you said with a smile.
As all of you walked out of the building, Aaron heard you telling something to Nick and Charlie. “Can you wait for me in the car? I’ll be back in a minute!”
To Aaron’s surprise you approached his car with one eyebrow raised. Oh no, you were mad.
“Y/N,” he said, but you cut him off.
“Why are the two of you being mean to Nick and his son?”
“We’re not mean to them,” Aaron said, but Jack’s voice was louder. “Because we hate them!” he said.
“Jack.”
“What? It’s true. You said that Mr. Nick is ugly and a jerk!”
“Jack, language!” his dad scolded him.
You turned your gaze to Aaron. “Is this true?”
He sighed, in defeat. “Jack, can you please get in the car? I want to speak with Y/N.”
“Fine,” he said, and followed his dad’s request.
“So?” you said when you were finally alone.
“So…I may have said some things about Nick.”
“Why?” your soft voice asked.
“Because, I can’t stand the thought of him with you. God, Y/N, I can’t do this anymore. I want you. I want you to be mine. I wanna be the one who takes you for ice cream and the one who brags about you to the other dads.”
“Aaron…”
“I understand if you don’t feel the same way-”
“Of course, I feel the same way, you idiot,” you said. “But then Beth showed up and I thought it was one sided!”
“Beth’s in the past.”
“She is?”
“Yes. She didn’t mean anything to me. It’s always been you,” Aaron admitted.
“Wow…” you said, placing your palm on your forehead.
“Yeah…”
“Well, I have two people waiting for me in the car right now. And I don’t want to just  blow them off.”
“I understand.”
“I’ll talk to Nick tonight. I promise,” you said, touching his hand. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Aaron smiled.
“She touched your hand,” Jack said with a smirk when his dad got back in the car.
Aaron stared at him through the rearview mirror with furrowed eyebrows, but Jack could read him very easily. So he just giggled.
--
“Ew!” Jack yelled, his face forming a disgusted expression at the sight of you and Aaron kissing.
“Hey, you got your wish!” Aaron told him. “You should be grateful.”
“You know what I think?” you asked.
“Hm?”
“That our little Jack is jealous because he’s not getting any kisses.”
“No!” he giggled, as you and Aaron chased him, ready to cover his chubby cheeks with sweet kisses.
3K notes · View notes
yeonzzzn · 7 months
Note
Enha hyung line reaction to you as a med student asking them for a sperm sample coz u need it for your class.
oh LORDDDDDDDDD I love this idea so much
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
❃ heeseung I already know would be so STUNNED. he would just blink a couple times at you in confusion and then asking you to repeat yourself to make sure he did, in fact, hear you correctly. But who was he to tell you no? It was for your class and you’re a med student, so anything to help you learn right? just as long as you lock yourself up with him in the bathroom and watch as he strokes his cock, biting his lower lip and letting his soft groans escape. loving the way you’d rub your thighs together from the site in front of you, loving the red blush on your cheeks while you keep complete eye contact with him until he cums.
❃ jay would NOT hesitate to help. all you’d have to do is ask him once and he’s already dragging you to the nearest bathroom. hand already shoving down his jeans the minute the bathroom door is closed and locked. but there’s a catch…jay would have you touch yourself along with him. “you want my cum? gotta cum with me baby, that the price for my cum sample.” and of course you’d do as he says, hands removing your bottom clothing and slowly sliding your fingers in and out of you watching the way jay groans as his eyes keep to your heat, stroking himself faster and telling you to do the same until you both are a cumming mess.
❃ jake like heeseung, would be so SHOCKED to hear those words come out of your mouth. oh boy but jake would be riding out that ego that you asked him of all the guys on campus for his sperm sample. jake would be so nervous as he opened the door of his apartment for you, letting you inside and leading you to the couch. with shakey hands jake would slide his sweatpants and boxers down to his ankles, already hard as a rock and slowly stroking himself, keeping the eye contact with you. oh but jake wouldn’t be able to handle it, he’d be begging you to replace his hand with yours, “please baby, it’ll help me cum I promise…need to feel your hands wrapped around me,” and how could you say no to him? he looked to fucking hot as he fucked into his hand while begging you with those puppy dog eyes. so you replace your hand with his, pumping him so fast he was cumming down your hand within minutes.
❃ sunghoon like jay, sunghoon wouldn’t hesitate to help. but the price of him helping would be completely different. you want his cum? you gotta let him fuck you to get it. sure sunghoon could have watched porn or used his imagination, but he was attracted to you, and you obviously found him attractive to even ask him in the first place. he wouldn’t bat an eye as he shoved you down onto his bed, pinning your arms above your head and fucking into you hard, stopping anytime you felt your own climax reaching to deny it, then start fucking into you again, repeating the process until sunghoon is shooting his seed deep inside you. Sliding himself out and watching the way it drips out of your cunt, fingers moving up and collecting his cum with his fingers, “here princess, this is what you wanted yeah?” obviously after you’ve collected it into the small sample tube, he’d push himself back into you until you finally get your release.
573 notes · View notes
yuyu1024 · 8 months
Text
Escape
Pairings: Yoongi × y/n
Genre/tags: Arranged marriage
Warning: 🔞🔞 smut/angst, mention of food/eating, cursing, sensual touching, making out, needy/clingy, Pet name, lies, kink, unprotected sex, Smoking, jealousy, insecurity, mention of weight&food/eating, oral (m/f receiving), mention of blood/violence
~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 5.8k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
Note: continuation of Prisoner.
I hope this is a good part 2. 🙏🏻 took me a while coz idk if i should or not. 😅 sorry guys.
(This may continue a bit more...? But please be patient 🙏🏻 as I do have work & usually I try to write before i sleep but lately i've beeen so tired and drained that I cant even function 😅)
***
Another day, another event to go to. You are wearing your best 'pretend' smile. The smile you have practiced for months, to be your default expression whenever you meet anyone in any formal event. It's not that your trying to be fake. You just want to represent your husband the best that you can. And being a shy person, this is what you can do to help yourself.
Although, you wish, that even just one time, Yoongi would show up to these events with you.
At the first month of your marriage, he did. He did that to introduce you to everybody. You could still remember how you two were holding hands and always together. Those were the days when you have spent so much time with him.
But... Now, it's just always you. Alone. Amongst everyone in the whole place, you are the only one who always arrives with no partner.
"Excuse me?"
You twirl around and find the prettiest girl you think you have ever seen in your life. She looks like a goddess.
"Ahm, yes?" Your voice sounded so weak. You haven't said a word in the last hour.
"You are the only one wearing a corsage with a hint of lilac flowers in it... I'm guessing... you are Yoongi's wife?" She asks
"Ah, yes. I am." You look down at the flower pinned on your chest
She's smiling at you. She looks sort of happy to see you. "Finally... I've met you."
You haven't said a word. You are not sure how to approach this. You have no idea who she is and why is she approaching you. Plus, You are sort of intimidated by her. She is a beautiful, a sophisticated woman. She have this energy from her that says she is different than anyone else. You could feel your difference with her. Though you are covered with all highend brands of clothing and accessories. You can still see it.
"Oh, sorry... if I'm invading your personal time..." she says, "I am a friend of Yoongi... well... an old friend... from University" she explains. "Sarang."
"Oh." You smile and bow. "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Y/N... I'm sorry... I've not met any of his friends yet so...I didn't know..."
"It's fine. I understand."
She looks like she came from a regal family, the same level as Yoongi. Also, her beauty.... takes your breathe away. She remind you of how you reacted the first time you saw Yoongi. In awe.
"Thank you for coming here also..." she says as she walks you around the gallery. "I hope you find something to your liking here that... would be a part of your home or either a gift to anyone you love."
As you two talk more, you learned that she's the one that threw this charity event. She gathered all these arts from known artists, to auction. She says that 100% of the earnings from it will go to the children's hospital that she have been donating ever since.
You have just met her and you are already at amazed by her. Not by just her prominent looks but also the way she talks and speaks her mind is very inspiring and uplifting. Because of her words you find it easy buying two items in the collection. You know all of the money will go and be used for something good.
You chose the items, the two that caught your attention the moment you entered the gallery. Both are paintings of a beautiful flowerfield which reminds you of your past. The field where you would always go with your friends and have picnic during summer break.
Such beautiful memory that you wish you could've not taken for granted. You wish you could re-live those moments again. And the paintings, those paintings you chose might go well in your own study room.
"It's nice meeting you..." she says, cutting you from reminiscencing your past
"Thank you too for inviting us.. though... my husband couldn't come..."
She smiles, lips pressed together. "He hasn't changed at all. Not very social and just focused on just working..."
Hmm.. The way she talks, the way she describes your husband is very detailed. She seem to know him pretty well. 'They are friends' you say to yourself but then at the back of your mind, a thought, just a tiny thought about him and her, is peaking through.
'Is she an ex of his?'
'If not an ex... probably... someone who liked him?'
I know, this is no place nor time to think about these but you can't help it.
Look at her and then you look at yourself. You two are totally opposites. From status to looks. And probably from personaly to intelligence. She is more than you. She is perfect. You think that he and Yoongi might or will get along more than you and him.
"Ahm... I ahm..." you start to feel uncomfortable with all of your self pity thoughts. You need to get a hold of yourself. "Sorry... I'll... I'll just go to the bar and have some drink..." you say as you clutch on to your dress.
"Oh. Okay." Sarang says. "You want me to accompany you...?"
You shake your head, "No... thank you... don't mind me... please go ahead and tour the rest of the guest." You say pointing at the newly arrived guests.
You turn around immediately before she could response again.
This is weird. You're not sure why you suddenly have the urge to drink. Even though you don't drink. Also because, you can't. Literally, can't.
You only drink red wine when you are offered to drink, by Yoongi of course. It's only when he asks you to join him during nights when he needs company or if you two are to discuss things about the family.
You don't drink also because you are a lightweight. You get tipsy and red easily. One time when you had more than three glasses of red with your husband, you instantly changed personality. You have no idea how and what changed besides the stories that your maid said the day after which were embarassing.
You have no recollection of anything besides the fact that you were on the sofa, inside Yoongi's home office, butt naked and only have Yoongi's blazer on you.
"Mrs. Min, what can I get you?" The cute guy behind the bar asks as you reach your destination.
"How... do you know who I am?"
He smiles, "We had the lists of the guests coming tonight... with photos." He pours water into a glass
"With details...? who can and cannot drink... I suppose?"
He nods. "Your husband noted... to not serve any alcohol to you Miss."
"Even... I want to? Or... pay?"
"I'm sorry Miss..." he says, "If you like we can offer you our non-alcohol champagne?"
You sigh heavily. You badly want to drink. Even just one glass to calm yourself. But...you can't. Yoongi have rules and you cannot avoid and disobey them.
He does give you the freedom to do whatever you want but when it comes to what not to do or what he likes, he have a handful.
1. Don't cut your hair short
2. Don't drink when he's not present nor ordered by him
3. Don't leave the house without atleast one body guard
4. Don't wear perfume (he gets dizzy)
5. Use the safeword during sex
And etc.
The rules are quite simple. Nothing to weird nor to hard to follow. It's just you compromising. And also, you do have a hard time saying no to Him.
"Thanks." You mumble, sighing as you take the glass of water and walk away from the bar.
After figuring out you can't drink to calm yourself, you decide to just go somewhere outside, away from the crowd and peaceful to get fresh air. Lucky you, you found an exit that leads you to the garden.
As time have gone by, you're not sure how long have you been there, staring at the fountain, the flowers and even starring down at your feet every now and then. You thought being out here will leave your head empty. Not worrying about anything. But then you'd catch yourself pouting and comparing yourself to all the ladies you have seen in the event, especially the last person you have talked to.
Your self pity and low self-esteem is thriving today than usual. Is it the lack of sleep? Or because of the one guy from earlier giving you a judging look that made you regret wearing the dress you picked? What happened?
These thoughts are not very helpful. Especially lately, well probably more on daily basis, you do wonder why Yoongi chose you. To marry.
They've said, more particularly his parents said, that he didn't like the ones they suggested for him; so he decided to pick you. To marry you instead of those women who is on the same level as him or close to his family's wealth.
Odd isn't it? Why would someone like him, an elite bachelor, pick a girl from a lower class family to marry? What did he see in you? What made him randomly pick you? You are not special, inexperience about life and not alluring as the other girls in his world. What did he saw? How did he even saw you? You were sure you two never met before. So did he hire someone to find a daughter from a poor family or what?
Instead of clearing your mind, you suddenly had these outburst of questions.
"What are you doing here?"
Your eyes widens after hearing a familiar voice. You didn't dare to speak. You just slowly turn your upper body around to see him, walking slowly towards you.
He's wearing a tuxedo. His hair is slightly slicked back and his scar. His beautiful scar. It's him.
You can't believe what you are seeing. He's really here. Why? He's been away for a week because of work and when did he came back?
"Y-yoongi..." you mumble, standing up
"I asked you..." he says as he stands right in front of you. Then you see his eyes darts down at your glass of water, sitting beside you. "Your bodyguard said... you asked for a drink." He looks back at you, his expression is so serious.
"I ahm... sorry..." you lower your gaze.
"You know... you can't drink."
"I'm sorry..." you whisper softly
"Let her have fun." A woman's voice says. "She just wants to have a glass of wine. It won't hurt."
Slowly raising your eyes, you see her, Sarang, standing from afar from you and Yoongi.
Her stance at this moment is unidentical to her persona earlier. It feels like she is a completely different person, though her appearance is the same. Something shifted.
"She did an amazing job.. representing you earlier." She adds
Your eyes then goes to Yoongi. You want to see his reaction to the angelic woman speaking. You are curious. No one talks to him directly like that, blunt and straight forward, even you.
Sarang is brave to talk casually to him.
"Ready the car..." Yoongi finally speaks after a monent of silence. Ordering one of his men to move.
That was it?
"I'll return the items. Keep the money. I don't care." He says while he's looking at you, straight into your eyes. Though you know, even his eyes are on you, he's not actually speaking to you.
"Yoongi le---" she tries to speak again but he didn't allowed it.
Yoongi just slightly turned his head to give her a side eye. He is not pleased. "My wife and I are leaving..." and then takes your hand to hold onto. "Let's go home..." he says that only you can hear.
"Ahm...ahh... okay." You say, lost by the sudden fierceness from him
***
"Get in." He orders you
Carefully climbing in the car, you move to the other side making sure there is a space betweem you two.
"Home please." Yoongi says to his driver as he shuts the door.
"Sir." The man answers, nodding and then pushes a button that closes the opening between the driver to the passenger seat of the car.
We are now isolated.
He looks so tired. Looks like he just came back and went straight to event to pick you up.
"I have my driver with me... you could've rested at home." You say
He sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm fine."
Did he purposely pick you up because he wants to see you? Did he missed you while he was away for a week?
Your mind is filled with questions and curiosity but you cannot dream of these questions to be real. You have to remember, he just married you because he have no other choice. There is no love in between you two. You are married by paper only that is worth a lot of money. Everything you are doing for him is to repay all of his kindness to you and your family.
This is all just a fantasy. A beautiful fantasy.
"Come closer..." he softly says. His eyes are still shut but his arm is arching, gesturing for me to take place in then. "Y/n..." he opens his eyes, calling my name. You scoot over his side. He immediately puts his arm around you, making sure you are close. "You're shaking..." he utters as he goes back to closing his eyes, resting his head back. "You're almost naked with that dress of yours..."
"Sorry..." you say looking down at your knotted fingers. "I thought it will look good....that's why I wore it."
He sighs. "You do look good..." then he shifts in his position and makes sure you're looking back at him. Then he starts leans in, to kiss you.
"Wait..."
He pauses, confused by your reaction. You have never denied his kiss before.
"I'm sorry..."
"What for?" He asks
"Well..." you look to the front, where the driver is. "Do we just kiss or..." you whisper
Yoongi didn't expect your question which made him smile. "It depends." He is looking straight into your eyes, your face are just inches away.
"He might hear us..." you whisper
"I don't fucking care." He moves forward and finally catches your lips.
***
After travelling for almost half an hour, you finally reach home.
"Welcome home, Miss..." The maid greets the second you slide out of the car. she then sees Yoongi, coming out from the other side of the car. "Master!" She bows again. "Welcome..."
They are suprised to see him. They didn't expect him to arrive with you. Looks like none of them knew he went to pick you up.
"Do we have anything to eat?" You softly ask the maid, then you realized that it's already late and that they have to rest too. "Oh... Sorry... never mind... you may go and rest." You give her a faint smile.
Then slowly walking towards the elevator, you could see your husband's reflection through the glass doors. He is busy already with his phone.
"Y/n..."
You glance up, peaking through the reflection. He is walking towards you. So you wirl around and waited for him to stand in front of you.
"Ask your assistant to remove all charities or event under the Lee's tomorrow. Even parties." He says as he undo his bow tie. "And... to not accept any invitation from them...again"
"Why?"
He didn't answer. No answer means he's serious.
"Okay..." You just answer before turning your back at him again.
Thinking about what you are in his world is heart breaking in a way. You are nothing but someone he owns. You just go with the flow of his world.
Yes you do had an idea what you've signed up for but its still shocking nonetheless how everything is unfolding and is doing.
"Aren't you getting in?"
You look up and see that he is in the elevator already, waiting.
"S-sorry..." you say before entering. You try your best to not make eye contact with him.
After both of you settled in, the maid follows and taps on level 3. That is where both your rooms are.
Oddly, Yoongi taps on the Upper ground after her. "Can you please cook something light before you leave? My wife needs to eat." He orders
"Yes, Master." She answers just in time when the elevator stops on UG.
"We'll both be down after we shower and get rested a bit."
"Understood, Master." She exists the elevator, bows and immediately walks off.
'My wife'. It is the second time he said that today. He never says that.
"Don't skip meals." He mumbles as the door closes
You didn't answer. You didn't mean to skip a meal or two today. And maybe a few days before too. You were nervous. One main reason is the dress you're wearing right now is very revealing. A satin black backless maxi dress. You wanted be perfect in the dress thats why, even though you know it's not achievable.
*pings*
The elevator door opens on level 3. You step out and about to turn to your wing when you hear him call your name again.
"Where are you going?" He asks
"T-to my room..." you sound so weak, "To shower..."
"Shower here." He says, suggesting the shower in his wing. Meaning in his room. Meaning his bathroom.
"Hmm?" You are lost in translation. Why is he asking you to shower there all of a sudden.
"To my room." And then he undo the first two buttons of his shirt.
"W-what? Why?"
He didn't say another word. He just continued to walk off towards his room leaving you.
"W-wait..." You take two steps forward but then stops.
"Y/N...." you hear the heels of his shoes stop hitting the marbled floor. His back is facing you. "I said, shower here. I didn't ask you to decide." he then turns around and you see his white top basically open now. "Will you go and shower with me or do you want me to peel that dress off you and carry you to my room?"
Flusttered by his remark, you just released an unsolicited shaky breathing. "Ahm... yes... I'm... I'm coming..."
***
[Flashback to Yoongi's side]
(Earlier... as soon as Yoongi arrived at the charity event)
Some of the people in the event went silent for a few seconds the moment they saw you enter the building. They all didn't expect you to show up since your wife was already present. But of course, they still greeted you with a smile and tried to make small talks. They want to be on your good side. They know what you are capable off. What power you hold in this world.
However, you don't care about these fuckers. You dropped by because you received a call from your wife's bodyguard that Y/N is not looking okay.
"Where is she?" You ask the man standing behind you.
"She just left the bar, Sir. And went out to the garden." He reply.
"I see."
One step, you just took one step and somebody already stands in your way to your wife.
"Look who's here."
"Sarang." You say her name, bitterly. You are not expecting her to be here.
"You have been ignoring my invites for quite some time now... I thought, helping others is one of your goals in life that's why you work 24/7?"
"I thought this event was by the Lee's?" You hiss at your male assistant.
"It is, Sir. By--"
"Lee Do-Hyun..." she cuts off the assistant. "My husband..." she proudly says. "Aww.. That kind a... hurts my feelings...that... you have no idea I got married..."
"I don't keep tab on people who's not important to me."
She scoffs but she sounded a bit insulted and her ego got hurt. But she's good at pretending that it didn't bothered her. "You say that now...but a few years ago... I was your muse..." she tries to move closer to you but your body guards stands in between quickly.
"Was." You look away from her and try to search for your wife through the window not far away from where you stand. "My mistake for socializing to a liar, back stabbing... leech like you." You say, then giving her a side eye. "I wish your husband good fortune... or that he loves spoiling you... or esle... he'll found out his wife's true color..."
You're about to walk away, again, but this bitch still wants to talk to you.
"You think... she'll not get tired of you? Of you controlling her? Especially getting married with you... with no love at all?" She snorts a laugh again. "Or maybe... she will not..." she mumbles under her breathe, "Now... It figures... why you picked someone from a low class family... someone with no choice but to stay with you because her family needs your money. I see..." she laughs again, "poor girl... if I were her, I would milk you all of your money so it will be worth it... after all she married a controlling, dominant, and a freaky person like you."
You know Y/N is not like her. She is a nice person. She's not into money like this bitch is. However, you do think about how Y/N thinks about you and her marriage to you.
You admit that you are very controlling when it comes to her. It is one of your negative trait that you cannot put away. It comes natural with you because of the life you have been brought up and your business. You want things to happen in your way and you are also possessive. You do try to controll it when it comes to her but you are not sure if you are doing it right.
Well how could you know, you never talk about it. Even with your wife. You never asked about her feelings and opinions.
"Watch your mouth." You mumble. "You might think you know me from the years we've been together. But you haven't seen half of what I can and would do... if anyone picks a fight with me.." you glare at her. "Consider this a warning."
[End of flashback from Yoongi's side]
*************
"Miss..."
Slowly opening your eyes, your eyes carefully adjusted to the light. You could see the ray of sunshine peaking through your dark thick curtains.
"Miss..."
You turn your head to the side and see your maid bowing.
"It's noon Miss..."
"Oh."
It has been a quite a few days now, since you start waking up this late. You are usually up early. You are a morning person. You also do jogs or walks around the property and sometimes go to the home gym to move, always. But something shifted in your routines.
You are tired, less motivated and no will to get up your bed.
"I think we need to call the family doctor now, Miss." The maid suggested. "You've lost a bit of weight and you look pale."
"I'm fine." You say as you push your duvet off your body and slide down off your bed. "I'll take a quick bath..." you mumble
"Understood." She is ready to come along with you.
"No... I'm fine... I'll just go alone... just prepare food for me please."
"But... Miss..." she usually prepares your bath and always stays with you there. After the little accident you had a year ago when you first experience a hot bath on the tub. You fainted because you fell asleep. Too much enjoyment and you forgot it is not good to stay long in there.
"I'll be fine." You smile and requested for her to leave
"Okay Miss... but... I will be back after half an hour to check."
"Sure."
You slept last night, wearing your silk robe and your fancy cream nightgown, his favorite. You were expecting Yoongi to come home last night as per usual schedule. But he didn't. He didn't even informed the staff that he'll not be home for a longer period.
What happened? You don't know.
The last time you talked to him was the night he asked you to come to his room and shower with him.
Everything that night was magical. For you atleast. But then you ruined it.
When you both entered his dark room, he immediately clung onto you. He held you like everything depends on it. It was more intemate and hungry than the usual and you liked it for some reason. After all the self doubt and insecurity you felt in the party, the intemacy made you feel more than what you feel.
And when he peeled off your dress from your body, you didn't expected him to go down on his knees and lick your soul out of your body. His tongue did more than you know he could do. It brought you to another level of high. And you didn't know you could screech like an animal because of it. He really made sure you are on cloud nine or even beyond that.
"Fuck me... please..." you begged him after you knees weakened and fall down the floor where he is.
"No." He said. He was sturn. "No request for tonight." He said and then he positioned you underneath him where he could properly see you crumble because of him.
"Y-yoongi... please.... I need... I want to come..." you begged
He brought you to cloud nine but then hold onto your pearls when you were about to orgasm.
"I'm punishing you right now..." he said as he lowers down and starts to run his tongue from your chest up. "Next time... don't wear any sort of revealing clothes...when I'm not around.. do you understand that Y/N?"
"Y-yes..."
"Another rule to add... are you okay with that?" He hummed the last words on your ears before he let both his hands squeeze your breast. "Answer me..."
"I don't... mind..." you were squearming underneath him. He was playing your nipples then. "I... I don't mind... Yoongi..." you repeated, pleading.
His punishment continued for another few minutes. It was too much. You were struggling catching your bliss but he's playing you. However, you are patient. You know his kinks and you know what he wants and so you do whatever and accept whatever. Coz you know it is from him.
"Scream my name." He grunted as he pounds you with no mercy.
You were holding on to his massive bookshelf on the wall, your legs were lifted and hanging over his forearm whilst he was thrusting deep in you. You were getting hurt from your back hitting the shelves but it didn't matter. You don't know why but for some reason you can endure everything just for Yoongi. Even pain.
"Nnggghhaaa..." you threw your arms around his neck as he went faster. "Please!" You cry on his neck. "Aaaahhh!!" You screamed the orgasm you have been keeping for a while. You felt relieved and content.
And as you two were catching your breath. You uttered words that surprised the both of you. You said 'I love you' to Yoongi.
It should not be a surprise. You two are married right. However since yours are different from others, those words were never said or mentioned ever after the wedding. It is like a forebidden phrase though there are no rule about it. It's like an unspoken deal that no one says those words since THIS.. YOU TWO... is just a fantasy. You two got together with no love. It is not real. You are just one of his property.
And so, after that night. That magical night for you ended up into this cold, quiet and empty prison. Again. You are back to nothing.
You thought you are on a journey escaping that confinement. You thought that something is going to change. You thought... that you were wrong about him. But who are you kidding? You were just having sex like you used to. It is nothing special. It is the same crap. So you saying you love him is... worthless.
"Did I even mean it?" You ask yourself as you lay down in your hot bath. "I said it... after sex.." you are trying to understand how those words slipped out of your lips. If it all just happened because of such high from the sex.
You can clearly remember how you said it. You paused, looked into his eyes and carefully said it. You know you said it with the intent for him to hear it but when you saw his reaction. It made you realize what a big mistake it was.
"Am I having feelings for him?" You mumble as you lower yourself more into the water. "I should not right?"
You know the answer to your own quesion. Look at him even ignoring you for almost two weeks now. Who are you even kidding thinking it will have an effect on him?
After the 'I love you' incident, He eat dinners without you or he let you eat first before he comes out of his home office. And then when he leaves, he does not inform you now. You just get the news of him flying off somewhere from your maid. Even his men are being cautious with you. He must've ordered them to be distant but at the same time protect you.
How funny that these are his responses to you. You know you deserve it but you're a little bit hurt, your not going to lie.
"Who am I for him to love?" You sigh. "Maybe... I should just prepare myself for the ending of this fantasy..."
*********
"Master." The maids bows as they suddenly sees Yoongi enter the main entrance while they are all cleaning.
Yoongi have not been home for a while. He has been... busy.
"Give them all my clothes." He says to his right hand man. "Sorry if it's quite a lot today." He then says to the maids as he removes his black coat revealing his white button up shirt, stained with blood. A lot of it. No one reacted to the visual that is shown. All the staff are used to it. They know how his world is.
"Where is she?" He asks as he loosen up his tie
All the maids in the corredor suddenly turn heads to the youngest one at the end of the line. She is Y/N personal maid.
"Master." She steps forwards and bows again. "Miss is in her bath."
Yoongi frowns. "Alone?"
"Ahm..." she suddenly stutters. "Sorry, Master! She... Miss wanted to... alone... but I told her after half an hour I will go back."
"How long has she been there?" He then throws his tie on the ground.
"Twenty."
"Okay." He takes a deep breathe and tries to collect himself. "Just go and be on standby in her room. She can't stay any longer."
"Okay, Master." She bows again and briskfully walk back to Y/N wing.
"Are you not going to... visit her Sir?" His male right hand asks. "She have been messaging you since..." he pauses for a bit. "And calling too."
He didn't answer. "Ready my bath please." He orders and just continue walking his way to his room.
"Understood." The man replies
"She can't see me like this." Yoongi mumbles as he walks
"I see..." his right hand man smiles at his master's response.
"Why are you smiling?" Yoongi asks, one eyebrow up.
"Nothing, Sir."
"Just spit it out."
The right man, Mr. Kim have been Yoongi's right hand man ever since he was in his teens. Mr. Kim saw him grew up and be the man that he is now. And for sure, if something changed he would be the first one to notice
And now, the tiny changes in Yoongi's mood and decisions, He might not know or see it but it is obvious for Mr. Kim. He knows it is something about his wife.
"2nd week of your marriage, Sir. She saw you coming home with a bloody lip and injured knuckles. You said you don't give a damn if she sees you looking like a murderer."
"So? What's your point?"
"It's just lately...."
Yoongi pauses and turns around to see Mr. Kim, wearing a smile.
"What are you implying? Just... say it."
Mr. Kim bows and says, "Nothing Sir."
"Hmmm..." rolling his eyes, he continued to walk.
*****
"Miss..." your personal maid rushes in your room, "Master have return." She says.
To her suprise, she sees you standing in the middle of the room, wearing your bathrobe and a towel in your hair already.
You take a deep breathe, not letting your eyes look away from the view you are seeing from your window, a clear blue sky.
"Miss.. shall I prepare your clothes?"
You close your eyes and then removed the towel wrapped around your long hair. "Please..." you softly answer
"What do you prefer to wear today, Miss?" She asks she she begins to walk towards your walk in closet.
"A black dress..." you say as you follow along. "Maybe the one with the longer sleeves."
She nods and then continues to search for the dresses you have that matches your description while you on the other hand looks at yourself in the full length mirror while you undress from your robe.
You stare at your body and see how you thin you are. Not super thin but thinner than what you used to.
It's your own fault. You have been skipping meals when you are stressed and it's not good.
"Miss?" She then lays three dresses on the sofa in the middle, for your choices.
"The middle one." You says.
You then open the drawer for your undies to grab a black lace matching underwear.
"Ahm, Miss...?"
"Yes?"
"Are you going to eat with Master, in the dinning today?"
"Hmm... what did he say?"
"Nothing. He just asked me to stay with you when I told him you are in your bath."
"Did he say if he wants to see me?"
The maid didn't answer.
"I guess not." You scoff as you getting into the dress. "Just bring my food in my study room. I'll eat there while I do some reading."
"Understood." She bows and exists the room.
"I'm not gonna wait for him anymore." You say to yourself while looking onto the mirror. "If he's going to avoid me or ignore me... then... that's what I'll do as well..."
Starring once again at yourself on the mirror, you look at your face and then your eyes goes down to your belly.
"I have to learn to go on with my life... with or without him..." you mumble. "I should start to escape this fantasy... a dream that maybe the 'us' will be something."
Part 3 - Twilight
642 notes · View notes
screampied · 9 months
Note
Hiiii, first time asking for smth omfg 😨
Anw pookie, would u do a part 2 of the jealous Toji Drabble?? 🤭🤭
Love u, happy new years bbg 😻
☆ : ex bf! toji x fem!reader
⤷ tags: part one, jealous toji, makeup sex, praise, dirty talk, unprotected sex, size kink, wc.
an. LOVE U 2 ! HAPPY NEW YEARS <3
Tumblr media
the dumb cocky grin that went across his lips once he heard you and your boyfriend broke up. just the thought of you, invoking yourself with toji he had to admit, he found it somewhat amusing.
and who did you always come crawling back to…
toji.
he figured, the moment he sees you at his doorstep, not even knocking using the old key you made your way inside, and the cute look on your face.
all heartbroken…almost as if your eyes were saying, ‘you were right.’ of course you’d never say that to someone as arrogant and witty as toji. he’d laugh in your face straight up.
you still can’t seem to fathom how you went from rambling to toji about your messy breakup, him doing his own version of consoling you….to you being right on all fours.
“easy girl. easy now,” he grunts, and it only took a few deep strokes for you to whine out a moan, effortlessly having your back arch against him and he groans from the way his base smacks against you. it thwacks roughly, his balls lightly sting against your skin and you furrowed your eyebrows in frustration on how good it felt. “i told you you’d be comin’ back.”
“f—fuck, toji….” you’d choke out, split knuckles rubbing against your mouth the more he rammed his hips against you. you gasp once you feel him deepen the angle, the thrusts, and he does that thing you always love.
fuck you with the back of his foot pushed up against your neck, pinning you all the way down against the pillow with just enough pressure. the softness of his sock ghosts against your neck and you’re quite dumb at this point—he snaps you out of your lewd cock drunken trance with an ass spank before groaning.
“wanna hear you say how much you missed me,” he mutters in a pure rasp, watching your body spring and jostle from underneath him. “coz y’er pussy’s just ratting you out, doll.”
“didn’t miss you,” you’d whimper out, panting and panting…..heaving, the way he’d roughly maneuver against your hips, his swollen tip just prodding and tapping against your most tender bits had your toes curling and you’re nearly shaking, “jus’ wanted to fuck.”
“girl—,” he scoffs, a hint of sass in his tone, and he suddenly stops mid-thrust, you really hated whenever he’d do that. edge you. especially if you were coming close. he lowly chuckles at your reaction. your body’s initial response, your legs spasm and your poor cunt hugs and clenches around nothing once he pulls out. “tch. say that again?”
you grow quiet and he clicks his tongue, swiping his fat tip up and down against your slit, a thumb of his running against your entrance. “you really don’t miss me, baby?”
“fuck you,” you’d moan, and he removes the slight pressure of his poor against your neck to bring a hand against it instead. “you’re so—”
“doll, you sure do talk a lot of shit for someone who doesn’t even know how to make herself cum,” toji snickers, and that shuts you up instantly. you hated his smart witty responses, and you hated even more how you’d always have nothing to reply with. just sheer silence and a stupid moan of pleasure. “exactly, nothin’ to say because y’know ‘m always right, princess.”
he was infuriating—yet all those feelings disappeared towards him whenever he was deep inside you, churning your insides without a single care in the world.
“oh, oh….you want me to finish?” he chuckles, a piercing smirk struggles against his lips the minute he sees your needy body twitch, your head faces down against the pillow and you’re just soaked. panties lazily pulled towards the side, and the way toji just abruptly pulled out made you whine.
“y-yes.” you frowned.
“but you just said that-”
“i know what i fucking said.” you muttered, and he takes pride in seeing how frustrated he made you, toji found it somewhat endearing—how needy you grew out to be all from how he’s neglecting your sweet cunt.
toji sneers, smacking your ass before rubbing the head of his cock against your slit, watching the way it opens up—desperately trying to swallow his tip but he continues to pull back, hearing you whine and spit out cacophonies of “p-please,” and “fuckin' asshole.”
“i’ll finish if you tell me in that sweet voice how much you missed me, baby.”
a sigh left your lips, and he smiles. you and him both knew in reality, you did miss toji. more than just his touch, it was more—and believe it or not, he was a good boyfriend. you still couldn’t believe the amount of voicemails he spammed you, his voice. down-talking your ex, saying how much better he is and how you probably fake your orgasms with him.
he didn’t lie.
he couldn’t please you in the ways toji could. toji knew and memorized every inch of your body, he knows what gets you off and makes you pulse. it’s just his nature.
“f-fine,” you grumbled, and he lightly flips you over, getting a good look at you, and he looked so smug and cocky. toji gives you a brief head tilt and eyebrow raise expression, basically saying for you to finish talking. “i missed you. you were right.”
“oh yeah?” he hums, leaning in to plant a kiss near the side of your mouth, he realigns himself and you brace yourself. running your nails down his back, his back that was already painted and carved with scratch marks of the tips of your nails. “feed my ego more,” and he kisses near your nose, then your cheek. “did you think about me whenever he fucked you, baby?”
“can you be serious..” you moaned, feeling his tip throb against you. he was still hard, toji grabs ahold on your leg and spreads the both of them a bit before he starts going inside again, slow to where you can feel each thick inch.
he guffaws lowly. “geez. can’t have no fun with you. was just curious,” and he’s all the way in after a few seconds — you gasp at the sudden stretch, gripping onto the backs of his shoulders and toji leans in to give you a deep kiss. you melted into his kiss, your legs go around his waist and you’re so dizzy, toji’s body rocks against you to where your legs feel nearly asleep. “but i missed you more.”
and he ends up making you cum more times than your ex could in a few minutes. toji grins at seeing you all dumb and drunk from his dick, plain stupid.
“your taste in men….is not good, you know…?” he hums, and you’re just barely being suffocated, squeezed against his chest — and he’s holding you, your arms were wrapped around his waist with a soft pout being smushed against his torso.
“…shut up and hold me.”
“yes ma’am.”
1K notes · View notes
cheriladycl01 · 6 months
Text
I'm not scared! Colby Brock x MotoGPDriver! Reader Part 1
Plot: You made a tweet about Sam and Colby and were in a podcast and they brought up Sam and Colby where you talked about the paranormal and how it doesn't really scare you because you drive motorcycles at over 200mph.
A/N: This has been sat in my drafts for a while coz i was kinda scared to post it, coz its a new reach of people I'm looking for.
Tumblr media
It started off with a silly little tweet you'd made in the summer break when you werent racing. You didn't feel like watching old F1 or MotoGP races and there was no movie that immedielty came to mind.
So you scrolled through youtube. At first it was a documentary about the ocean, and you had to switch it out. Which is how you came across a channel called Sam and Colby, two American boys who... well you didn't actually think they had a 'thing:
Your YouTube consisted solely of vlogs and car/bike videos that you did. That was your niche. However these two didn't seem to have a specific niche, you perused them seeing that they vlogged and did challenges and prank video and even back in the day were part of vine.
The most recent things they'd been sticking too by the looks of things were these paranormal investigations. They went to these haunted places with cool gear and filmed the experience. You were very intruiged as the paranormal was something you'd believed in just never interacted with.
After watching them bring people on, and be scared shitless you knew you'd boss something like this.
You were alone in your house, drinking which is where the tweet actually came from.
Tumblr media
There was a lot of action from both fans of motorsport and YouTube fans. You of course got some hate from the tweet from the YouTube side and hence started the fued between your fans and Colby and Sam fans.
It wasn't until the podcast you went on that the duo took notice of you.
"So today I'm here in the studio with Y/N, now this I think is an intertsing podcast for both of us, because you've only been on Motorsport related ones so far correct?"
"Yes" you smile nodding. You'd actually been on a few podcasts as you really enjoyed talking to people and hearing their stories and being able to talk about your own experiences and hardships.
You started of with the generic motorsport questions, that were all angled at you being a woman in motorsport. Which you enjoyed as you knew getting to the position you had now was a hard hard feat you managed to overcome.
He then got onto more general questions about you life, which again you were happy to answer.
"I do have something that people asked me to ask when we first annouced you here and that was about the tweet with Sam and Colby?" he says looking to his notepad making sure he was keeping in his order.
"Mmmm, what about it?" you smile knowing this was going to be a thing.
"So you basically said along the lines of, if you were in a Sam and Colby video that you wouldn't be scared, why is that?" he asks tilting his head to the side.
"Well, not much scares me when i drive motorbikes at roughly 250 kmph. You know, I've come off those bikes and had my life flash before my eyes as I go into the barrier. One of my worst crashes nearly killed me, but I got back on the bike, one I healed and I won my first race back in Lusial. As part of the Red Bull family I've helped them with some crazy challanges, beat Max Verstappen in an F1 car and lots more. So i think it would genuinely take a lot to scare me!" you smile explaining your thought process behind your tweet and how you think you'd genuinely react.
"So I'm guessing you'd be like down to collab with them at some point!" he asks.
"Yeah of course, I know these things take time to plan so obviously you know with both our busy schedules it probably wouldn't be anytime soon, but you never know!" you grin and after a few more questions before the podcast ends.
It was around a week later, you were in your home gym getting some weight training in when a message dings up. You stop the current exercise your doing to check it.
It was an instagram DM from the Sam and Colby official account. You click on the notification to go onto the chat to look at what they'd messaged you.
Tumblr media
Of course you immedielty replied. You exchanged numbers with both the boy's before Colby made a group chat asking when you were free.
It was harder to find times than you expected, the next time you all would be free was during your winter break from racing. Which was risky to confirm anything, especially to their fans as anything could happen to you in that time.
You agreed on a date and time to tell your fans.
The next step was you inviting them to a race weekend, you wanted to meet them but obviously didn't have much time between races. So you invited them to your home race at Silverstone in the United Kingdom.
They decided to make it a whole thing, where they explored some haunted places across England after coming to see you at your race.
You decided to meet them at the airport first and you couldn't hold in your nerves to meet them, you never had the best people skills which is probably why you went into the career path that you did.
You waited for them in the arrivals area, it wasn't too busy due to the time of the day, just a few business men in suits. You looked around for a board to see when their plane had landed, but could find one.
"Y/N?" you hear from behind you.
A/N: I don't know what the fandom's like on here, but I just like writing about cool situations that help with writers block for writing my book! If you follow me for F1 and General Motorsports this is me branching out my writing into another hyper fixation of mine that’s been around for a while!
342 notes · View notes
cas-is-my-weakness · 5 months
Text
Over the years there has been a lot of insane jenmish/cockles moments and things. We know misha has no filter about it and is insane but I would like to point out that jensen is just as insane. Let's talk about insane jensen moments implying cockles and more
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
*note this is all in good fun I'm not implying anything if it makes you uncomfortable for some reason please keep scrolling. I love them as friends and I love their chemistry overall and things they share with us just makes me happy.
266 notes · View notes
stillnotyourmusebitch · 7 months
Note
I can’t stop thinking of demon! Adam going through development and reaching the point of like,, doing something nice without anyone telling him to do it, purely for the sake of doing it. Something he never would have done before. Even if it’s something as small as sitting down with you while you’re watching your favorite movie or show and not shitting on it the whole time, just to keep you company. Or something like that. I dunno. I’m just a sucker for slow burn subtextual romance.
THAT, and the reader seeing his face beneath the mask, looking him the eyes, and smiling a little. Even if they say nothing. I feel like that would stick with him.
Exactly. Demon!Adam lives in my head rent free now. I know this weren't a request of sorts but I kinda wrote something for this
random ficlet below
Demon!Adam x GN!reader (Fluff)
DemonSinner!Adam is something that plays on my mind a lot. He still doesn’t believe in the whole redemption shit that Charlie is laying down but if it gets him a glimpse of seeing heaven again he is willing to try.
-----
Adam was bored and needed something to do that would put off the inevitable “therapy” session with Lucifer’s brat later. So that must be why he finds himself outside your room. He knocks lightly on your door. You didn’t answer, he knocked again louder this time. Still no answer. So he opens the door and peers in.
“Hey errr (Y/n) Charlie asked me to check on you.” A blatant lie but he won’t tell you that.
He sees you’re watching TV.
“Huh? What no shitty nickname this time?” You mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn. Adam walks over and flops down on the couch next to you.
“Oh yeah, nah I didn’t really feel like it.” He grabs a handful of your popcorn.
You quirk a brow.
“Also Charlie said nooo giving nicknames to people that demean them and also who don’t want it and people were given names to be used blah blah blah.” He shoves the popcorn into his mouth. “So what are we watchin?”
“I'm watching a movie I really like so if you're staying either shut up or fuck off.” You sink back into your blanket cocoon.
*10 minutes later*
“What the fuck! This guy clearly likes her but she goes for the other bozo. Is she blind . . . . as well as ya know hot.”
You choke on your drink. You didn’t think that this would be his kinda thing but here he was emotionally invested in the film you had picked. You had really wanted to just wallow in your depression by binge watching trashy romcoms but what was really making you feel better was watching the ‘dickmaster’ himself rooting for the underdog to open up about his feelings to the lead woman.
You go to grab some popcorn but see the bowl is empty.
“Gotta pause.” You go to stand but he stops you.
“I got this.” He hides the good deed by quickly saying “And I need to piss anyway.” You pass him the bowl.
“Not in the popcorn I hope.” You rearrange yourself back in your blanket burrito.
“HAA, You nasty but don’t watch without me. Coz that is a dick move.”
“You know all about those.” You mutter into the blanket. But Adam had gone to the hotel kitchen to make popcorn.
You chose to scroll on your phone until he got back. There were a few messages but you didn’t really feel like answering them. You flop on your side. You can always move when he came back.
While you waited in silence for Adam. You think back on how he really was getting better. After seeing him slowly open up to Charlie’s ideas and seeing that he can be a good guy when it suits him. You smile to yourself.
Your door slams open.
“Okay I’m back bitch.”
Nevermind looks like he has thrown up his walls again.
He lays out the armful of snacks and the bowl of popcorn that looks way bigger than the bowl he left with. He sees you on your side.
“You comfy down there?”
You groan and slowly sit up again. He sits back down but wraps an arm around you and hugs you into his side and nothing more.
“Okay we can continue now.” He grabs the popcorn and rests it on his lap.
You set the movie going again and snuggle just a little bit closer. For popcorn reasons of course not that Adam was nice and warm and you felt safe next to him.
“Clearly she don’t know a good thing when she sees it.” You pipe up after about three minutes into the film again. You had seen this film so many times but there was one scene that always brought out annoyance in you.
“Right!! She needs to open her eyes this guy clearly loves her for who they are and not some fake ass bs that other . . . what?” Adam stops mid-sentence looking down at you resting against his chest.
You blink a few times before realising you are staring “Huh oh nothing.”
You focus back on the screen in front of you.
The climatic end of the film was approaching and the main lead were confessing their love and as the credits role you can here someone crying. You glance up and see Adam wiping away tears.
“You okay.” You sit up and reach for the tissues on the table to hand them to him.
“What!!! I’m fine. Of course I’m fiiiine. Shut up bitch.” He grabs the tissue box from you.
“If it helps I cried the first time I watched this movie.” You wrap the blankets tighter around yourself.
“I . . . ah . . shit.” He saw you curling further in on yourself. He feels guilt crawling into his stomach. “Sorry, I’m . . .Ugh. Look I’m bad at these feel your feelings crap that Charlie spouts. But it was a good film and yeah I cried but . . .”
“It don’t make you any less of a man.”
“Yeeeah I know. Of course I know. I’m the first man.”
“Huh back to that are we.” You bump shoulders with him, making him laugh.
He pulls you back into his side “So what are we watching now?”
------
I really didn't mean for this to be as long as it was. I'm sorry
307 notes · View notes
starillusion13 · 11 months
Note
omg Hi! Im not sure if you’re still accepting requests but if you still do… I would like to request an ot8 ateez x reader where they all leave her because of a misunderstanding and then they chase her back after but she doesn’t forgive/give in so easily ? Thank you love ❤️
Lost you forever
Tumblr media
Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader
Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature
Warnings: crying, mention of death, poison, mentions of mafia activities like shooting and deals in mafia, misunderstanding, pregnancy(?) [plz tell me if I have missed something] oc doesn't forgive easily coz she is deeply hurt.
W.C: 5.3k (i was so into it sorry)
Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!
Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity
Tumblr media
“I have found her.”
All the noise died down with just one sentence. The room is now pin drop silent with all the heads turned towards the same direction and eyes focused on one person. The one who has just entered through the main door and whose voice made everyone stop in their tracks.
The leader of the group with a blank expression, walks towards the said person and grabs the collar of the leather jacket, eyes burning with his creased forehead but somewhere he wants to believe the words he has just heard.
“You realize what you are speaking right, Mingi?”
Nodding his head, he stares right back, “Absolutely.”
“Are you sure that’s her? Maybe, you might have mistaken someone else.”
Closing his eyes for a second, he sighs, “I have seen her with my own eyes, up so close to realize enough that it was her. Her sweet smile and those soft hands, everything is same.”
The one holding his collar loosen his grip and walks over to the table to get back his drink.
“Hongjoong, stop drinking.” The eldest scolds the leader before turning towards the other, “Then where is she and why didn’t you bring back her here? Where exactly did you see?”
“She was working at the café, down the Ross street. The target’s location was last seen in that café and when I reached there, he had already left and then when I heard that sweet voice asking if I need something?”
“did she see you?” The youngest asks him with curiosity filled in his eyes.
“No. I ordered a simple coffee just to see her longer and when she handed it over to me, I felt her soft and innocent hands touching my rough and ruthless ones. I was wearing a mask so she didn’t notice me but she was hiding her pain really well with her sweet smile.”
“But her eyes were telling something else.” Mingi turns towards Yeosang on hearing his response.
Everyone is feeling guilty that they are the reason you are working all alone there and having the pain inside you which your eyes reflect enough to let them know how you are feeling. They have been with you long enough to know every detail of your actions, to read your emotions from afar, to know if you are happy or to realize that you are hiding something then why. Why did they misunderstood you back then and left you all alone helpless?
“I want to see her. Take me there, just tell me which café is that exactly and I will be on my way there.”
“San, calm down. Take it slow. I know that you are eager to meet her like we all are but we can’t just go there like this. You know what we did back that day. I don’t think, she would want to see us again.”
If they had this much power in their hand to erase that day or to change the situation that occurred that day then they would have done long way back but now its impossible to do so. It’s been three years that they have left you but when their mission in this new country led them to cross your path again, they are not going to leave this chance out of their hand. Searching you for so long and not getting any sight of you has made their life a disaster. Hongjoong has been drinking a lot since he found out that he had done wrong with you and not a single member of his gang can control his vigorous nature but being the leader of the uprising mafia gang, he has to control his limits to not let the opposition know his weakness. Yunho is not better than him here, being the fighter of the group, he is overdoing and exhausting himself just because he can’t get you out of his mind and showing his anger on others. Well, Seonghwa needs to be calm here as being the eldest, he finds this as his responsibility to check if his members are doing okay and him being the second in command has to be with the leader most of the time. But the question is how can he just pretend that he doesn’t think about you, his thoughts are always storming inside his head which are revolving around how to get you back. San is restless, he is almost every time being out of the house doing illegal shits without even informing the leader and just messing up things, which sometimes almost bring them to face a hectic situation but thanks to Wooyoung who is always there to save him but what about himself. He is the one who would show his emotions up his sleeves but when it comes to get you back, he is lost in a void. He doesn’t even know whether to be angry, upset, mad or just forget about you. Forget about you? Is it even possible? Mingi is always out of the base, he has taken upon himself to look out for the targets and engaging with the spies all around to know the motives of other gangs and be prepared but one thing is always flashing to him, thoughts of you. Jongho has kept himself silent for most of the times, away from his members and just trying his way to find out where you are. Are you even alive? He is always there to bug Yeosang to find you in every corner of their hometown but you were nowhere to be found and once they had lost all hope of you being alive. Yeosang has taken the job of being hacker too seriously and that just to find you till the last cell of his data but everytime, he is just getting disappointed.
🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚
“Thank you for your order. Have a great night ahead.”
You smile sweetly towards the customer who just left the café and its almost nine at night so you should get prepared to leave for the night. You are always the last worker to leave on the busy scheduled day as you live just few houses away from here and the manager is too sweet to even let her guard accompany you to reach your house. She once requested you to do the extra night shifts on busy days as other workers live bit far away and you could be much helpful to her. She has this warm motherly aura and so you couldn’t reject her request.
“Y/N, I’m so sorry that you had to stay back late again. It’s Halloween season and you know how people are crowding over here.” Your manager having a guilty expression on her face approaches you.
“Oh no, it’s really fine with me. I can keep my mind off with some stuffs while working here so it’s not a big problem. I rather enjoy being here than staying at home and overthinking.”
“You are so sweet. You should take some leaves and rest for few days as I haven’t seen you taking leaves or going out with someone. Don’t waste your young age everytime working here. Have some enjoyment and refresh your mind.”
“Working here gives me the happiness. I don’t think being with someone can actually refresh my mind or rather haunt me…..Nevermind, you must go back as your son is waiting for you and after getting everything back to it’s place, I will hand over the keys to Mr.Lee.”
Nodding her head and waving at you, she rode back to her place leaving you and Mr. lee, who must be in the locker room getting his stuff and later waiting for you outside.
Arranging all the stuffs, it took twenty minutes as your other co-workers had almost done everything before leaving and the previous orders were simple so you didn’t have much to do. Picking up your bag from the counter, you give a final glance to the place to make a mental note if everything is fine. Satisfied with the result, you quickly went outside to see him already standing and waiting for the keys but he is looking impatient.
“Are you fine, Mr.Lee?”
“U-uh yeah…” sweats visibly lining the forehead and lips quivering. Why is he sweating in this cold night?
“If you need help, please do tell me.”
“Actually, I need to leave early… my daughter needs some help and she has just now called me so I think I cant go with you today.”
“Its fine with me. I can manage on my own, its just few steps and I will be home so don’t worry and leave. I hope your daughter is fine.”
He thanked you several times and left. Like always, your smile is still having that warmth even in this chilly night. Your hands rub your arms and you start walking towards your block. Everything is like usual until you start to feel someone is following you but waving it off as if it must be your fear of walking alone without him. Also, it’s Halloween and anything creepy can happen. Even the children’s pranks are creepier than ghosts. You quicken your steps, hands gripping the bag tightly.
You feel a hand on your shoulder and you almost had screamed when another hand pressed over your mouth, shutting you up and muffling your scream. Your eyes closed tight and hands trying to remove the palm from over your mouth.
“Y/N. Don’t be afraid, it’s me.”
You froze. Not due to the chilly wind just blew past you but because of the very familiar voice. Familiar? You don’t think it has that same familiarity like before. Every morning, this used to be the first voice you would listen while waking you up and engulfing you in a big bear hug. That’s past as now you are used to being wake up with your alarm or nightmares. Just a reminder, he is the part of causing that nightmare.
Parting your eyes, you can see the tall man standing in front of you. Looking down at you with a soft look on his face, teary eyes and hands slowly slip down from your mouth to your biceps to hold them firmly. The street is brightly lit due to the decorations for the occasion so everything is very clear for your eyes. You stare back at him and not knowing how to react as your body and mind is going against each other but you know a little part of your heart still beats for him, for them.
He is about to pull you in for a hug when you stop him with your hands pressed over his chest, preventing him from coming any closer.
“Y/N….”
“Stop it. You should not just hug randomly someone. You may know me but sorry I can’t really remember you.”
“Random? You are my angel. I want to hug you and say sorry for what I have done. Don’t pretend that you don’t know me, please tell me you have missed me equally.”
“Look, you must have mistaken me with someone else but I’m not her.”Pushing his hands off from you, “Even if I know your name doesn’t mean I know you, you are just like the rest of the customers in my daily life whose name I have to hear often. So it’s nothing special and as I don’t hear your name anymore maybe I would forget it forever.”
“Y/N!”
You make a ‘tsk’ sound on hearing him shout your name. Even if they pretend to be polite or gentle with you, they are the ruthless uprising mafia gang so what do you even expect less from them while controlling their aggression?
“This is you. Shout on me. Blame on me. but. Don’t show your kindness to me again. You have literally showed your true colors that day and look here we are. Standing face to face and you still shouting on me just like that day. You are still the same, Yunho.”
Hearing his name coming out of your mouth after three years is sending a wave of warmth to his heart. Atleast, you called him by his name even though your words are straight away piercing his heart like a sharp knife, you haven’t spoken to him like this ever but he knows he deserves it for leaving you that day.
A black SUV comes to a stop near to a side of you both. If it were any other time, you swear you would have got frightened but the raging veins with hatred towards him is not minding any danger surrounding you. You didn’t look at it’s direction but can hear several footsteps are nearing you. Why are you not scared? Is it because you are feeling safe in his presence? No, it’s just you don’t want to be saved or show your weakness, atleast in front of him.
“Doll.”
Don’t turn back. You are just imagining things. He can’t be hear even yunho is not here, right? You want to believe this but the presence behind you is too near you, his warm hands placed over your shoulder sending a jolt through your body. It may be warm but is lacking the warmth, you can only feel the coldness of feelings there. Turning around, you look into the eyes of Mingi, who just called you with the name he gave you on your first date with him.
Okay, so everyone is here. All the eyes are just looking at you, only you. If it was something back in those days then you would have become shy and hide behind Yunho and not look at them but this time, your daring eyes precisely staring back at them. Their eyes filled with regret meeting your eyes filled with hatred.
“Why are you all here?”
“For you.” Hongjoong replies quickly enough and this made you raise your brow.
The scene is like a deja-vu, very similar to the last time you had seen them. Them circling you under the night sky and you are the centre of the situation but that time, they had that rage in their eyes for blaming you and hoping you to vanish from their eyesight but this time, they have the fear…of losing you again.
“it’s not funny. If you all are going to have some Halloween pranks on people then go somewhere else, don’t waste my time.”
“It’s really not funny and also not a prank. We are really here for you.”Hongjoong said calmly.
“And? You got to see me. You needed to know if I’m alive or not and now you might kill me as I already know a lot of your things and it’s dangerous for you all to keep me alive. Go ahead, shoot me.”
“Y/n, are you insane? How can you think like this that we will shoot you?”
“San, it’s very obvious from the way you were pointing the gun to my forehead with fire in your eyes.” You point to the middle of your forehead with two fingers. They would have found your acts childish but your tone is too harsh for their ears, making it obvious how much hatred you have towards them.
The said man fidgeting his fingers, looking down and a single tear escapes his eyes. The tear of losing you. You are so near to him, just few feet away where he can run to you and hug you tightly and pull you in for a kiss yet so far away because of the way, your eyes glaring at him.
Mingi moves aside when Hongjoong comes in front of you, “Princess-“
“Don’t call me that when you don’t know how to treat one. I’m not your princess. Well, I’m no one to you.”
No one to him and this word burns his heart. Not only his but others too. Still he tried to speak to you.
“Whatever happened that day, we are really guilty for that. We are extremely sorry to treat you that way. I don’t know what happened to me and I put the blame on you, thinking it was your plan, everything I had lost that day was because of me and I lost you but trust me, each day I have spent regretting for this. Please forgive me. Please.”
He is no more holding back his tears, being a leader is a great responsibility and controlling his emotions in every situation is the major part but you were always there with him by his side where he could express himself, to show his vulnerable self to you but this time instead of comforting him, you are mocking back at him.
“Are you crying because of regret or losing your mission that day? I’m sure it’s about the shitty mission or what else-”
Yunho turns you around harshly and this time you can see his flaming eyes, “Are you making fun of him? What happened to you really? You have totally changed. This is not Y/N, we knew back then.”
“Exactly, this is not your Y/N anymore. This is me. An orphan who lives alone in this block and works by the café down the street. Also, not nice to meet any of you.”
You give him a blank expression. His grip on you tightens and you just stare at the hold, hissing but not telling him to leave you. Why? Because you want to feel him. No. You want to see how much he can lose control on you and the physical pain is nothing compared to the mental pain, you have gone through the years.
“Please come back to us. We are here to take you back, to your home, our home.”
Seonghwa. Please don’t speak like that. He is a siren for this because even if you want to hate him, his voice is always as if lurking you to trust him, his words which are still soothing to your ears, remembering those feather kisses. No. They are pinching you like a thorn just like your words are doing to his heart.
“There is nothing called ours. My place is here and nowhere else. I guess you don’t know the meaning of a home. Home is somewhere you can feel warmth and comfort, a forgiving atmosphere to erase your pain into happiness. But the place you are mentioning is a prison to me, hearing the name suffocates me, the memories haunt me. Atleast, here, I’m okay by myself, far away from you all but still nothing is a home to me.”
“Why are you saying like this? Please don’t push us away when we just got you back.”
“So? I should forgive you all and get back to you. Never. This is not happening ever.”
You walk towards him, his ears perk up hearing your heels nearing him, Yunho has left his grip on you but his hands aching to touch you again. The memories of you both spending nights together with warm skin against skin, hushed promises surrounded by the burning love but now even if your skin is warm, the touch was cold with numb feelings.
You pull the strap of Seonghwa’s jacket and other hand block his hand which he was about to raise and swiftly pull the gun out, pointing it towards his forehead. Others come to a warned position.
“If I shoot you here and wait enough to bleed you to death.” You turn to look back at them, their surprise faces looking back at you but no one daring to step forward. “Then if I say, please forgive me. Will it be worthy?”
“But…but we didn’t hurt you. We…we just….” San doesn’t know how to complete his sentence. He is lost within his own words. Seeing you after years, your coldness towards them, even pointing gun towards one of their member and remembering how you and him were in the same position last time causing his hands shake. So ironic for a mafia member. No matter how strong they are, how ruthless they can be but when it comes to you, you are their weakness.
“It’s not always hurting someone physically. Their way of act towards you speaks volume and the words you told me while pointing the gun is way more painful than if you would have actually shoot me.” Turning, towards Seonghwa, “You have already killed me that day. I am dead for you.”
“Baby, please don’t say like this.”
“How many times do I need to tell you that I’m nothing to you all? Stop calling me names.”
Wooyoung’s eyes go wide on hearing your shout. He is so much taken aback by your outburst that he is almost looking helpless towards Mingi standing near him.
“I’m sorry…I mean…please don’t say like this. You are everything to me, to us. You don’t know how messed up we were when we left you. I’m so sorry to leave you but please atleast lets forget about that incident and please come back to us.” Wooyoung stutters but not again using the endearment.
Mingi chirps in, “Human can may make mistakes. Whatever happened that day, we know it was not your fault, it was a mistake and we really forgive you for that. I’m sorry for being harsh on you.”
“Yes. We are really guilty. We should have listened to you but rather we blamed you on the spot and said such harsh words which even if I want to take back, I can’t. I didn’t let you to explain but ended up on a conclusion.” Wooyoung ends the sentence with tears spilling from his eyes silently.
Do you forgive them? Yes. but Why? They are still telling you it was your mistake. You cant forgive them so. No.
“So you still think that it happened because of my mistake? It was an accident?”
“Y/n…”
“Stop it, Yunho. Don’t speak a single word. I’m getting annoyed with you.”
Your steps come to a stop in front of Wooyoung whose eyes are shining to get you so close to him. He raises his hands but got yanked away by you. Maintaining a straight eye contact with him, you grab his collar.
“look at me and say that it was my mistake. It all happened because of me.”
He remained silent. He parts his lips but nothing coming out and this is making you impatient.
“Tell me!”
Hot tears streaming down your eyes. Still your body is not getting enough warmth and craving for it during the cold night in that lonely street. Even if you are with all of them still you are feeling alone. Your vision is getting blurred but you roughly rubbed your eyes with the sleeves of the shrug. Your breathings are getting heavy and you are losing control.
The youngest pulls away Wooyoung from your hold and holds your red hands in his grip which are shaking due to the tight fist.
“Please, calm down. It’s me Jongho. It’s not your fault. No one is blaming you. Take deep breathes and calm down.”
He knows that you are hyperventilating and he still knows how your body is reacting and you hate this. You harshly pull your hands away from his hold.
“Don’t touch me. My body aches when I remember how I let you monsters to touch me, everywhere, every day. I’m feeling so ashamed of myself. Don’t make me regret more. I hate the fact how you still know this about my body and am beyond surprised that you still remember me. Oh wait, you have to remember every detail of your enemy before plotting a nice plan and attacking them, right? And today is the perfect day.”
“You are not my enemy. You are my-“
“Stop. Don’t complete that sentence, Jongho.”
“Don’t speak to him like that, he was not even there during the whole mission, he was in for a quick need for back-end support for Yeosang.”Mingi says in a moderate tone.
“But was there long enough to blame me.”
Hongjoong places a firm hand on Mingi’s shoulder, “No one is blaming you. It was an accident and you didn’t know what to do there.”
“I know that whatever you did was to save yourself and I’m glad that you are fine.”
You stare at Hongjoong for a few moments and then burst out laughing like a maniac. Any other person would have found you weird and commented that you have gone mad. Even they would have made fun of you and teased you that how foolish you looked like while laughing like this.
Frustrated groans and your hands raising to your scalp and you mess your hairs. You are totally acting like a drunk person.
“hongoong, did you hear what he just said? Did you hear everyone? He said that I did that to save me. Huh. To. Save. Me.”
You skip steps towards yeosang and slap him, “You think I have killed Mr. Kim to save myself?”
“Y/n!”
You could barely hear Seonghwa and Yunho’s shout when you grabbed Yeosang’s biceps and shake him. He is shocked not just because you have slapped him but seeing you losing your mind like this and having no control over your actions and he is still thinking that something like this might have happened which cause you to kill Mr.Kim.
“Tell me Yeosang. You think I did it for myself? Tell me.”
Nothing he said in reply, just stared right back at you, the only thought running through his mind is to hug you and say that he won’t be leaving you again. He would protect you from the whole world. His daily searching to get your location was always in vain and he still can’t believe his eyes that you are standing in front of him but your eyes showing the amount of hatred in you for him. a helpless cry audible to his ears to which he was deaf during last time.
“So, you do think it is.”
You take a few steps back, staring back at each of them. San tried to come near you but Yeosang stopped him and shook his head.
“I…I did it…I killed him…It was not an accident.” You look up to the sky and smile to yourself, “I did it to save my family. I shoot him to save you all from his evil planning. You all were my family and I tried my best to face him, my hands were shaking, head was spinning. I couldn’t place the actions and words right in place but I knew I had to do it to save you all.”
“save us?” Hongjoong asks you in surprise.
You chuckle sadly, “Your beloved dad had only invited you to the party so that he could destroy you and your gang. He realized that you are not his own son and Jungwoo is his real son so to give him all the power, it was a better option to erase you from the path. I got to know this because Jungwoo told me and he didn’t want to support his dad in this way and somehow mr.Kim tried to kill me when he heard that I wont let you join the party.”
“That’s why…that’s why…you were whining to spend time with us and cancel the schedule.”
You nod on Jongho’s statement.
“I didn’t know how to stop you so before I could come up with a plan, you were already in your way to catch your target at the party held by Mr.Kim. And…and…when I tried to follow you all, he caught me and poisoned me.”
“Why did he poison you?” Wooyoung almost shout hearing this.
“He wanted to see you all going down first seeing me die and then it would be fun to end you. He really succeeded here.”
“What do you mean?” Yunho asks you slowly. You glance towards him but nod a bit.
Picking up your bag which is lying on the floor because of the previous commotion, you look down and tears flowing continuously, “even when I was poisoned, I escaped from the room and when I reached the scene, you were already in the middle of the bloody scene with your target. He was going to leave the place and would leave you all dying in the bomb blast and that’s how I thought it was best to kill him.”
“You didn’t tell that you were poisoned, we thought you were acting of feeling sick.” Even though Seonghwa confessed what he did feel right back then still he is feeling guilty towards you. You stare right back into his eyes.
“When I shot him in front of you all, Hongjoong snatched the gun from me and you harshly pulled me towards the exit and then it went on with you all blaming me.” You cast a glance towards San, “you pointed the gun at me and threatened me to kill if I don’t spill whose spy I was. You even doubted me with Jungwoo that we were cheating behind you and it was our plan to destroy you.”
Huh. Such cheap thought they had. They all blamed you and called such names and even threatened to kill you. It was not enough that they even insulted you in front of everyone present in the party even tried to prove your imaginary relation with Jungwoo.
“I’m sorry…”
“Mingi. Say sorry to Y/N who was trying to explain everything to you all, who was enduring the pain of spreading poison in her body and was still trying to protect you. Go hug her and pull towards you and say everything is okay, whose hands were shaking because she never killed anyone in her life before despite you all trained her in every field for her self-defence. Go and listen to her and ask her. Are you fine?”
He can’t match your eyes so he looks down regretting his every move, you throw a dirty look at him yet somewhere your eyes showing a little bit of sympathy. Your body still reacting to their touch and wanting to run to their embrace making you hate yourself.
“You can’t go. She is dead. Your Y/N is dead. Congratulations, you have killed her that day. You have killed a new life with her as well. She didn’t even get to know who her father is. Mission completed Boss.”
You stare straight and boldly towards Hongjoong.
“Her? Father? What are you saying?” Yeosang is impatient on hearing such things from you. He is confused just like the others and their heart is racing whereas yours is calm but painfully beating.
“I have lost my first baby and one of you lost the honour of being the father for the first time. It was too late when I woke up in the hospital, the poison had already been spread too much. I don’t know how I am still alive but maybe atleast Jungwoo didn’t leave my side.”
It was a big storm for them. As if the ground disappeared from underneath their feet. You were pregnant and they were unaware of it. If only they had agreed with your warnings, then they would have been having a happy family time with you and their baby together. No matter whose baby she was, she would have been theirs, they all would have given their fatherly love to her.
Without saying any more word, you begin to walk towards your way and didn’t even look back for the last time towards them.
“Y/N…”You heard wooyoung calls you from behind and they might follow you.
Still facing your back towards them, you speak slowly but audible enough for them, “Don’t follow me or come to find me again. You have left me that day, helplessly crying in the garden. Don’t expect me to forgive you and go back to you again.”
You walk away, far away from them where your silhouette getting lost in the painful dark but they know atleast you are safe and alive beyond that darkness. Their eyes follow the last bit of your presence.
They won’t be giving up on you like this. They will get you back someday but they also know that they have lost a part of you forever.
“I love you but I have lost you.”
PART 2
Tumblr media
Perma Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123 @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon [open!]
671 notes · View notes