secretidentie - Tumblr blog

[secretidentie]

*Bruce Wayne breathes*

Me: that's thot behavior

[secretidentie]

What iis the omega verse anyway??

like I think it's embarrassing that I've been in the fanfic community this long and still have no idea but I also don't want to find out the hard way sooo... Can y'all explain it?

[secretidentie]

When the whole league realises they've fucked batman

I love identity reveal fics that focus on how the JL freaks out about the fact that they've all slept with batman as Bruce Wayne but I need to see the chaos that insues after.

Diana and wally are mortified that they had a one night stand with batman and are doing their best to avoid him. Oliver is trying to figure out how to act around his best friend and ex fwb now that he knows it's the dark night. Dinah doesn't help at all by reminding him of the drunk threesome they had. Clark - who occasionally cried about batman not trusting him with his identity - is incredibly confused as he was under the impression that batman, Bruce and him were in a thruple. Hal has horror flashbacks of all the times he's talked about his crush on Brucie Wayne and decides to start a wager with Oliver on which one of them is better in bed and tries to get Bruce to vote for him. Arthur is just really offended that he's the only one in the room Bruce hasn't slept with and is on a mission to seduce him without being killed by superman. Bruce has the world's worst headache and is just grateful no one can see how embarrassed he is under the cowl. This is exactly why he hadn't told anyone his identity. He's working on a way to convince Clark he isn't a whore.

[secretidentie]

Batman’s one true love

[secretidentie]

SO WHICH ONE OF YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT MIDNIGHTER AND APOLLO??

[secretidentie]

What's kind of funny is that none of these faces are what I think of when I imagine superman's face.

Superman through the ages by Nicola Scott.

[secretidentie]

And when I start a cult y'all are gonna say they were no signs

[secretidentie]

We as a society need more reverse "there was only one bed" trope.

Like image Bruce and Clark (just an example, use whoever) have a mission that requires them to share a hotel room. They both get secretly excited coz they've been looking for an excuse to cuddle their crush but their hopes and dreams are shattered when the one available room has two single beds.

Queue Bruce making an excuse about how they should share a bed to conserve body heat even though it's literally 27°C and Clark says he usually hugs his teddy bear and can't fall asleep without it which was only true when he was 5. One of them mutters something about a study on the benefits of skin to skin contact to get a good night's rest but doesn't mention whether or not the study was about pre-mature newborns until they're both shirtless.

Queue pining, thirsting and feeling kinda guilty for lying but also too down bad to care.

[secretidentie]

Bruce Wayne using caffeine instead of Adderall to stay up is honestly the most nerodivergent thing ever

[secretidentie]

The gayest of them all

Since it's pride I wanted to ask you guys which fictional character (in your own personal headcanons) do you think would be the Greek god of queer.

Like personally I nominate Community-Dick Grayson. He's all genders, all sexualities, all the time. He has collected every color of the rainbow.

And yes I would like to hear reasons for your answers.

[secretidentie]

Unfortunately, even in fics it's treated as a punchline mostly coz alot of people only see Ollie as batman side character and not as his own hero.

It's very rare to see their friendship be more than surface level in any media so on that note I will definitely be watching Batman The Doom soon.

Having a mental breakdown on Green Arrow's behalf

I think we don't talk enough about Bruce's identity reveal from Ollie's pov. Like he just found out that his clumsy idiot bestie is also batman. Is that who Bruce really was this whole time? Is that his "true self"? Was their friendship just Bruce's way of strengthening the Brucie persona? Was his best friend just lying to him, playing a part and secretly judging him to protect his own secret identity? For Ollie, Bruce is the one person he's always wanted to tell and share this side of himself with and he just found out Bruce knew and didn't care? Didn't want to share this with him? Every time batman glared or mocked him, that was his best friend. Is that how Bruce really feels about him? How is they going to carry on with their friendship moving forward? Did they still have a friendships or did batman expect him to get the hint after revealing himself? As a hero himself, is he even allowed to be mad about this? Did it really matter that his best friend could lie to him so easily for so long? Did it matter that Bruce seemed to care more about Superman and wonder woman's reaction to his identity than his?

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[secretidentie]

Having a mental breakdown on Green Arrow's behalf

I think we don't talk enough about Bruce's identity reveal from Ollie's pov. Like he just found out that his clumsy idiot bestie is also batman. Is that who Bruce really was this whole time? Is that his "true self"? Was their friendship just Bruce's way of strengthening the Brucie persona? Was his best friend just lying to him, playing a part and secretly judging him to protect his own secret identity? For Ollie, Bruce is the one person he's always wanted to tell and share this side of himself with and he just found out Bruce knew and didn't care? Didn't want to share this with him? Every time batman glared or mocked him, that was his best friend. Is that how Bruce really feels about him? How is they going to carry on with their friendship moving forward? Did they still have a friendships or did batman expect him to get the hint after revealing himself? As a hero himself, is he even allowed to be mad about this? Did it really matter that his best friend could lie to him so easily for so long? Did it matter that Bruce seemed to care more about Superman and wonder woman's reaction to his identity than his?

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[secretidentie]

Okay. Now wake him up again.

[secretidentie]

The Ben Affleck/Matt Damon drama going on rn is so Superbat lol.

"Clark has slept at the manor 25 days this month, WHICH COULD MEAN NOTHING"

"So they share clothes, WHICH COULD MEAN NOTHING"

"Clark memorized Bruce's heartbeat and listens to it whenever he's feeling down, WHICH COULD MEAN NOTHING "

"Bruce says Clark is the only person he trusts and will always be his life long partner, WHICH COULD MEAN NOTHING "

It means nothing..... nothing at all👀

[secretidentie]

If Superman & Batman officially tie the knot, who do you think would be most likely to take his hubby's last name?

Is it going to be Clark Wayne?

Or...

Is it going to be Bruce Kent?

Okay so firstly there's no way Bruce would ever stop using Wayne. It's his way of staying connected with and honoring his parents and it's such a huge part of who he is. He care so much about "upholding the Wayne legacy" especially since it's mostly why he's batman to begin with. His identity as Bruce Wayne is basically synonymous with Gotham atp and I don't think he can ever give that up.

That means Clark is by default more likely to change his name but realistically I don't think he would actually do it. For Clark, the Kent's are the only family he has. He's as much of a kent as he is a kryptonian. In fact being a kent is basically representative of his humanity and his love for earth. That's why he'd always want to keep his last name too.

But Clark is not only kind of traditional he's also very sentimental so he would want to take Bruce's name somehow and Bruce likes making Clark happy so they will hyphenate it as Wayne-Kent.(And yes Wayne will definitely come first for obvious reasons)

[secretidentie]

*Bruce calling the JL after swapping bodies with Clark* : I have to notify you that superman is inside me

*JL casually* : Yeah, what's new

[secretidentie]

If Clark & Bruce have their own signature fragrances, what would they be?

I think Clark would definitely go for a very earthy scent. Something that reminds you of rich soil after it rains yk but also something light and airy. I feel like it's very subtle and you can only really smell it when you get really close to him. It doesn't smell cheap by any means but it's very homey and makes his hugs that much better. You can also smell it on everything he owns and everything he touches even if it's very lightly. [tldr. it smells like rain, rich soil, tea with honey and has a musky undertone and very light]

Bruce on the other hand definitely has an expensive smelling fragrance. It probably reminds people of whiskey and luxury but it also has a very sweet undertone. Obviously he doesn't wear it when he's batman but on most days he can't leave the house without a hint of it. But when he's fully in Brucie mode he's practically drowning in it. When he walks by he leaves a trail that people can't help but follow because it's so intoxicating. [it kind of a sweeter cologne and is very strong without being too overpowering. Probably custom herbs and oils I'm too broke to know the names of lol]