#Captain Spirit is FREE!!??(why not in the switch)

[celibibratty]

now i'm sad, i wish captain spirit had in the Nintendo switch too

[rainbowmoonstonestories]

Why The Caged Bird Sings | Chapter 5

Chapters: 5/? Fandom: One Piece (Liveaction) Rating: Explicit Relationships Vinsmoke Sanji x F!Reader Characters: Vinsmoke Sanji, Patty, Red Leg Zeff, Original Characters, Strawhat crew. Warnings: 18+ content (minors DNI), explicit sexual content, minor POV switching. Summary: One night, you were brought to the luxurious Baratie Restaurant Ship, renowned for its exceptional cuisine that your family had been intrigued to sample. A particular blond and comely waiter captured your attention with his charming smile and gentle eyes, but while your beauty and sophistication intrigued him, Sanji also observed the profound nervousness that caused your jaw and body muscles to tense whenever your fiancé made contact with your hand or your parents delivered a humiliating criticism towards you. One dinner at the Baratie soon turned into a recurring event, and then more. As your friendship with Sanji slowly evolved into something that burned from within, you strove to make your longstanding dream come true; freeing yourself from a constricting existence. ------------------------- As Sanji looked at you curiously, the gentle smile never leaving his face, you asked him, "Do you know why the caged bird sings?" He thought about it for a moment before answering, "Because it has a song to give?" You chuckled at his response and shook your head. "You're not entirely wrong, but no."

Divider by firefly-graphics

Feel free to read this on AO3 if it is more comfortable for you due to its length. I only ask to support me with a like and reblog if you enjoy my work. ☺️

Author's note: Long chapters are a must for me apparently. Please be careful with the mentioned themes here, considering they include some emotional abuse again and a tiny bit of blood. Also, this update includes Spoilers about Sanji's past.

Working at the Baratie turned out to be the most rewarding experience of your life. However, as you wrestled to suppress your burgeoning feelings for Sanji, you also had to contend with the obstinacy of your father who, furious over losing everything because of you, adamantly refused to keep his distance.

As the day progressed, the realization that you wouldn't be returning from the Baratie to your old abode began to set in. That place, with its distinct eccentricities and allure, was on the brink of becoming your new home. The idea was simultaneously thrilling and deeply daunting.

Facing such a dramatic shift in lifestyle was a challenge you had never encountered before. Yet, it was a needed change that, despite its intimidating nature, could potentially act as a catalyst propelling you into a promising future.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you before,” Mari revealed during your meal.

Her expression was a tableau of genuine remorse, her spirit noticeably low. How could you possibly blame her for not revealing sooner that she had known Zeff all this while?

You offered her a candid smile. "Mari, there's no need to apologize. I'm sure you had your reasons. I can only imagine it wasn't an easy thing to share.”

"No, it wasn't," she admitted. "My father was a pirate, and I feared... you all might view me differently."

"My perception of you could never change, you're amazing. I'm sure the others would agree with me. And remember, not all pirates are inherently bad.”

"I know..." She paused, her gaze settling on her half-empty plate. "He was my hero, you see. He had a deep love for the open sea and harbored hopes of finding the One Piece to support our family. He wanted to secure a good life for me.”

You nodded in understanding, listening to her with rapt attention.

"His only flaw," she continued, "was that he was simply too kind-hearted for a pirate.”

"Is that really such a bad thing?" you asked.

Her lips curved into a sorrowful, desolate smile. "That's what led to his downfall.”

Your shoulders sank against the back of the chair, and your fork hung motionless in your hand. “How…?”

She let out a heavy sigh. "As the captain of his ship, he had his unique approach to planning and making deals. Unfortunately, not all members of his crew were in alignment with his vision. It took me a few years to piece it together, but it appears that a faction within his crew turned against him," she revealed.

You shook your head, disbelief creeping into your voice. "Please don't tell me they did what I'm fearing they did.”

"Well, more accurately, the one my father considered his trusted confidante did."

Your jaw slackened in shock. "Wait, he was betrayed and killed by his own right-hand man...?”

Wordlessly, Mari gave a solemn nod of confirmation.

All this while, she had to live with the harrowing knowledge that her father's life wasn't claimed by a tragic sea mishap, but by the very person—more beast than man, you thought—he trusted the most. Never once had she displayed a moment of vulnerability because of that. In fact, you couldn't recall ever seeing her shed a tear, and it made you wonder about the depth of pain she must have kept concealed within for so many years.

"Mari, I'm at a loss for words," you admitted.

"It's okay, Y/N. I appreciate you listening. I feel a great sense of relief now that you know," she said.

"What happened to that scoundrel? Did he just seize control of your father's ship?" you asked.

Mari's expression shifted from somber to a kind of grim satisfaction. "For a short while, yes. But without my father's navigational expertise, he didn't get very far," she stated.

"Did the ship sink?"

"Yes, but he survived. He's languishing in some marine prison now.”

A part of you couldn't help but feel that even imprisonment was too lenient a punishment for someone of his ilk.

"My father and Zeff were good friends. Their paths crossed several times and they held a great deal of respect for each other. When Zeff arrived in the East Blue before opening the Baratie, he sought me out. I didn't know him at the time, but he was so warm and approachable... He couldn't stop talking about how great of a man my father was.”

Zeff was far kinder than he often let on. The manner in which he engaged with you, attentively listening to your story and offering words of support and encouragement, gave you a glimpse into why Sanji found it so difficult to leave and pursue his dream.

"Zeff has always been there for me," Mari continued. "When my grandmother passed away three years ago, he offered me a place here at the Baratie.”

"He did? Why didn't you accept his offer?”

Mari shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't think I'd make a good waitress. Nor a chef, for that matter. No, I was content with my life at home. I wanted to be with you all. You've become my new family.”

A warm feeling spread across your chest. "Aww."

"I’m serious, Y/N. You guys mean the world to me. I'd give my life for you," she stated earnestly.

You were convinced of her resolve, given that she wouldn't have thought twice about shooting your father that night if he had dared to advance even a single step further.

Upon reflection, the pieces began to fall into place. Mari's father was more than just a parent to her - he was a role model, someone she held in high regard and loved deeply. He was a man who returned her affection so profoundly that he didn't hesitate to put his own life on the line to sustain her. In stark contrast, the sight of your own father, who was entirely self-absorbed and exploiting his daughter for political agendas, must have made Mari seethe with anger.

Half-jokingly, you said, "That's great, but please, don't."

The remainder of the day was filled with pure bliss, between multiple courses that left the two of you completely satiated, and leisurely moments enjoyed in the lounge area inside the fish mouth. Mari reverted back to her usual jovial self, cracking jokes and playfully whispering in your ear about how much Sanji had been sneaking glances your way every time he stepped out of the kitchen. She chuckled heartily whenever your cheeks turned a bright shade of red in embarrassment, but you wouldn't trade these serene and heartfelt moments for anything else in the world. As nightfall approached, it was time for Mari to hoist the ship's bracket and set sail, but not before expressing one last thanks to Zeff for his hospitality and for welcoming you into his team.

She enveloped you in a hug so tight that it momentarily took your breath away. And then, as you watched the ship sail off into the distance, you couldn't help but wonder when you would see your friends again. You had never been separated from them for more than a handful of days, and that was the only thing from your homeland you knew you would miss and yearn for.

Zeff adhered to his word and introduced you to the remaining staff members at the end of their shift, gently leading you into the kitchen. While you strived to conceal your anxiety behind a gentle smile, Sanji was already on the front lines, ensuring that no one would act discourteously towards you. Patty, clearly caught off guard to see you there but already acquainted with you, extended a friendly pat on your back as a form of welcome.

Aside from the young, pale waiter who had served you and Christopher during your last visit, the others appeared somewhat apprehensive about your addition to the team. Nevertheless, they each introduced themselves one by one with polite nods or handshakes. The atmosphere was quiet and none of them seemed to treat you with any air of superiority, but you could distinctly sense their uncertainty regarding the skills you were bringing to the table.

In all honesty, you couldn't really fault them. After all, you had initially appeared to them as a noblewoman, garbed in an extravagantly priced dress and wearing high heels—hardly the image of someone who would seamlessly blend into their milieu.

But that was fine. You weren't at all offended and you certainly had no intention of letting their first impressions deter you.

On the other hand, Sanji was as amiable as ever, guiding you to a vacant cabin that Zeff had hastily arranged for your stay. It still needed a bit of work to truly resemble a presentable room, but you didn't mind its current minimalism. It was more than adequate, equipped with a bed, a desk, and even a private bathroom. You had all the time in the world to spruce it up and transform it into a space that reflected your personality.

"Let me know if you need anything, love," he offered, leaning casually against the door frame.

"Thank you, but for now, this is more than I could ask for," you replied gratefully.

Slipping the bag off your shoulder, you noted how light it felt. There was no need to bring your entire wardrobe with you, and given that you were in the middle of the ocean, a large stash of Berries wasn't necessary either. After all, you would gradually earn more through your work.

A fresh work uniform, seemingly tailored to your size, was neatly spread out on the bed. In addition, Zeff had thoughtfully supplied you with a portable Snail Phone, facilitating communication with your friends while away from home. It was astounding how much he had managed to accomplish in just a few hours, and how considerate he was towards you.

When you spun around, you found Sanji observing you quietly, a beautiful smile gracing his features, a sight that caused your heart to skip a beat again.

"What?" you inquired timidly, casually tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

"I'm sorry, beautiful. It's just surreal to think that I'll get to see you every day," he admitted.

"Is that okay?”

"Oh, it's wonderful," he assured you. "I take it things went smoothly back home?"

You hissed through your teeth. "One could say that, yes. They certainly turned out better than expected.”

"You look great," he complimented.

“Really?”

Sanji slid his hands into his trouser pockets. "I mean, you always do. But right now, you seem even more... radiant. Happier, I would say."

You nodded in agreement. "I suppose that's exactly how I feel."

For a moment, much like your previous overnight stay at the Baratie, you both were caught in a silent exchange of glances, and you reveled in the comfort of his presence. If Mari were there, she would undoubtedly encourage you to capitalize on this moment, invite him to stay, and take advantage of the intimate setting to make a more assertive move.

You would be dishonest if you claimed the thought hadn't occurred to you, but it wasn't the appropriate time for such advancements. You required a good night's sleep and an early start, as the last thing you needed was to arrive late and disheveled for your inaugural shift.

That is, assuming he would genuinely consent to being with you in such a capacity.

As you parted your lips to speak, you discovered he did the exact same thing simultaneously, voicing the identical words in flawless unison.

“I should go to sleep.”

“You should go to sleep.”

Both of you laughed at that, casting your eyes downward.

"You should also take some rest," you specified. "You've been working the entire day.”

"I'm used to it," he stated with a quick shrug. "But, I don't wish to keep you up any longer than I already did.”

He eased himself off the wall, adjusting his stance and reaching out for the handle. "See you tomorrow, Y/N. Have sweet dreams.”

You responded with a broad smile. “Good night.”

Once the door shut in front of you and the sound of his footsteps gradually faded into the distance, you exhaled a long, deep breath you hadn't realized you were holding. For a moment, you stood rooted to the spot, surveying your surroundings. Then, suppressing a yawn, you picked up the uniform from the bed and folded it neatly, placing it gently on the chair in front of the wooden table.

You retrieved your nightwear from the bag, disrobing and washing your face before finally yielding to the beckon of the bed. The mattress was comfortable, striking the perfect balance between softness and firmness to ensure a good night's sleep. The pillow was incredibly plush and voluminous, cradling the weight of your head as if it were a cloud. The sheets had a silky feel to them and were imbued with that distinctive, delightful scent of cleanliness. Even though the weather was characteristically warm, you still reveled in the sensation of them against the skin of your thighs.

It didn't take long for you to succumb to sleep as the Baratie quieted with the passage of time. Even the music from the bar had now stilled, and you found tranquility in the soothing sound of the ship bobbing almost imperceptibly in the water.

For the first time, you slept peacefully, undisturbed and without any restlessness throughout your slumber. However, as dawn began to break and your eyes shot open, you discovered your anxiety had returned, amplified, and you found yourself unable to sleep any further despite the early hour.

There was still some time left before your shift officially commenced, but your current state of discomfort prompted you to act proactively and make your way to the kitchen earlier than intended. Thus, you departed the comfort of your bed, got yourself properly ready and donned the white uniform, which seemed to fit your shape and size perfectly, save for the sleeves a tad too long that required a bit of rolling up.

As you exited your room, you made sure to minimize any noise, tiptoeing along the corridor and down the stairs. The ship was hushed, and you could hear the resonating sound of heavy snoring coming from somewhere, echoing through the wooden walls.

The dining room was incredibly spacious, completely vacant and dimly lit. Gently, you pushed the kitchen doors open and stepped inside, immediately greeted by the amalgamated aroma of food lingering in the air. You took the liberty of inspecting the space, checking every drawer and cabinet to memorize the locations of all the utensils. As you walked around, you spotted the grime on the stoves and counters, along with the floor appearing somewhat dull and dusted with flour.

Deciding not to waste another second, you grabbed the broom and rag, setting about diligently scrubbing every inch of the surface, even delving into hidden corners that appeared to have been neglected for quite some time. The tiles transitioned from matte to mirror-like in their polish, which spurred you on to accomplish even more.

Once the floor had dried, you meticulously cleaned the counters, stoves, and cabinets, removing all remaining crumbs, fingerprints, and lingering remnants of food. In a relatively short span of time, the kitchen was transformed, looking nothing like its previous state, and seeming almost brand new again.

As the sun began to fully rise, you prepared a quick breakfast for yourself without sullying the freshly cleaned kitchen, then comfortably settled at the far table to rest your aching back and arms. Zeff and Patty were the first two to arrive, and you suppressed a smile at their shocked expressions upon seeing their workplace in such a neat and tidy condition.

Rising to your feet, you crossed your hands behind your back in a polite, professional stance. Once again, you were engulfed by nervousness, but you had become adept at hiding it.

"Good morning, sir. Patty.”

Zeff's eyes widened as he noticed your presence. "Ah. You're here already.”

"Yes, I've been here for the past two hours. I took the liberty of cleaning things up in the meantime, I hope that's okay.”

You could discern the hint of a smile forming beneath his large mustache. "Oh, you did, did you? Good job. Did you manage to get any sleep?”

You nodded in response. "Yes, sir.”

"Would you look at that!" Patty exclaimed as he headed to his station. "I've never seen the stove so shiny before!”

His enthusiasm was infectious, and also quite flattering.

With the continuous cycle of cooking, maintaining a spotless environment seemed an uphill battle. Yet, cleaning was an activity you found gratifying enough to repeat, and that always brought you immense satisfaction. The process of eradicating dirt to unveil the hidden beauty underneath held a peculiar charm for you. It was as though you viewed it like a powerful metaphor, one that deeply resonated with you.

Zeff placed his hands on his hips, looking at you with a sense of pride. "Since you have a knack for it, the dining tables could do with some scraping," he suggested.

You knew he wasn't attempting to pigeonhole you into being the hub of their ship. Instead, he recognized and appreciated the contentment you derived from your accomplishments.

In fact, his request only broadened your grin further, and within seconds, you were already brandishing a damp cloth, primed for use. "Consider it done, sir!”

You inspected every single table on both floors to ensure none fell short of looking their best. Sanji found you engrossed in beautifying them, adorning them with flowers and straightening the tablecloths. Coming across him in the morning, complemented by his charming, radiant smile, added yet another delightful dimension to your new lifestyle at the Baratie. The manner in which he wore his jacket drew your admiration - every meticulous finger movement as he secured each button, the way they flexed and bent.

Their appeal amplified throughout the day, as he skillfully crafted meals for the various courses at the restaurant, from brunch to late dinners. Adhering strictly to Zeff's menu turned out to be a hurdle, as his inherent creativity frequently emerged, compelling him to add his own ingredients or personal touches. Zeff harbored a distinct preference for Oregano, a viewpoint Sanji did not share and referred to it as a seasoning for savages. Being a spectator to their animated debates was a source of amusement, ensuring that your shift was devoid of any boredom or fatigue.

As time unfolded, the rest of the team seemed to ease and unwind in your presence, noting your diligence in dishwashing and your quick response to any given instructions. It didn't take long for you to navigate your way around the kitchen, given your sudden familiarity with every corner and crevice of it.

And just like that, you showcased your inherent worth for the first time, concluding your shift with aching feet and weary shoulders.

The simple yet profound joy of sitting in the kitchen with Sanji, a warm cup of tea in your hands, was unparalleled. The sheer joy it brought you was unlike anything you'd ever experienced in your past roles. Back then, your presence was barely recognized by your superiors and coworkers, unless they wanted you to scurry around, fulfilling orders from one corner of the office (or building) to another. You were but a dolly at their mercy, with no room to voice your opinions or confront them, enslaved both at home and in the workplace.

The Baratie, in stark contrast, was nothing like that.

Interrupting your train of thoughts, Sanji asked, "How do you feel, my lovely?”

Somehow, every time he used those endearing terms, it made your knees go weak.

"This is incredible, truly" you replied genuinely. "I'm not used to this level of consideration. You all made me feel as a part of your team today.”

"Because you are. You work with us now, you're going to live here.”

"I know. Sometimes I feel like this is just a dream, and that the moment I wake up, I'll realize none of it was real.”

"Trust me love, if this weren't real, I would be disappointed."

You laughed lightly. "If this is a dream, then you would simply disappear.”

"What if I blink and you vanish in front of me?" He questioned. "Because you are the one who looks like a dream to me.”

As you delicately tasted your tea, your hands hung briefly in mid-air. Sanji was adorned with his characteristic, spontaneous grin that you had grown familiar with and already treasured. His unfeigned way of conveying his sentiments was a quality you found distinctly admirable.

You swallowed the warm liquid, gently placing the mug back down. "Smooth," you commented.

If such words had been spoken by Christopher, or anyone else thrust into your life, you would have been repelled. But Sanji was a man brimming with chivalry, a characteristic that seemed to have been lost in time.

And yet, in truth, he remained a complete enigma. Beyond his work at the Baratie, his culinary passion, and his dream of unearthing the All Blue, you knew nothing about him.

For a moment, you were spellbound by his smile, until your burgeoning curiosity became too strong to hold back, taking the reins.

"Hey Sanji, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything," he promptly replied, his gaze meeting yours again.

"What did you do before meeting Zeff? Where do you come from?" you asked, eager to peel back the layers surrounding his past.

The sudden veil of gloom that descended upon his eyes didn't escape your notice. For a moment, you experienced a twinge of remorse, tempted to take back your words and hold your tongue.

"I come from the North Blue," he replied, seeming distant. "I didn't stay there for long. My quest for a new life as a cook eventually led me to a position aboard a ship.”

You couldn't help but notice the conspicuous ambiguity in the details of his story.

"So, your family stayed in the North Blue?" you probed further, hoping to glean more.

Sanji began to fidget with his lighter, absentmindedly flicking its cap open and closed.

"My father and my siblings. As for my mother... she passed away many years ago.”

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that," you expressed softly. “That must have been incredibly hard for you.”

“Thank you, love. But I'm okay," he reassured, his usual positivity returning to his face.

He was certainly elusive, which only validated the likelihood of him wrestling with a turbulent past, much like your own. Perhaps even more intensively.

"You... you didn't have a good relationship with your family either, did you?"

You hadn't really planned to verbalize that question. However, as soon as the query sprouted in your mind, it escaped from your lips without any form of restraint.

"Why do you say that…?" he inquired, surprise reflected in his eyes.

"Oh, uhm.... just a hunch," you quickly clarified, your voice carrying a trace of embarrassment. "But please, don't feel obligated to talk about it if you're not comfortable.”

Sanji seemed to be immersed in deep thought, his eyes on you, yet seemingly engrossed in a completely separate world. Then, they lit up again, morphing his countenance into one of delightful sweetness.

"It's fine. I don't usually talk about this, but... I believe you deserve an explanation.”

He drew a deep breath, resuming the flicking motion on his lighter. "Much like you, I also didn't want to conform to my family's values. They viewed me as someone lacking in combat prowess.”

A part of you was swept by a wave of shock from such a declaration, causing you to blink subconsciously a few times.

"My ex-fiancé would strongly disagree with that," you asserted.

He chuckled. "I was just a child back then, love.”

"Well, no one should expect a child to be a combat prodigy.”

What kind of family would desire for an innocent child to become a killing machine?

Yet again, given the extent of your own father's brutality towards you, you shouldn't have been particularly surprised.

"My family is... unique," he elucidated. "I made a conscious choice to uphold principles of kindness and reverence for life, placing my culinary interests above everything else.”

"And it's fortunate that you did. I highly doubt anyone else could cook the way you do.”

Your words were clearly inflating his ego, as evidenced by the smug smirk that started to form on his face.

"Sanji, you made the right choice. Unlike me, you had the courage to stand up for yourself and leave at such a young age.”

You perceived that his story was far more intricate than he had revealed, but for the time being, you found it adequate to understand his motivations. Intriguingly, though for completely different reasons, it appeared that both of you had endured a comparable degree of adversity.

Perhaps there was an additional motive driving him to assist you. It might not have been solely out of genuine respect for you as a woman, but something more - a familiar element he identified as a gross injustice.

"Nah, dealing with all that for so long only made you stronger," he pointed out. "Y/N, you have no idea how truly incredible you are.”

Although he had a reputation as a charmer, you recognized that his sentiment wasn't mere shallow flattery designed to captivate you. No, Sanji truly meant each word he said. He was acknowledging you, the genuine you, in a way that no one else had ever managed to do.

Silently, you moved to touch the hand that was still holding onto his lighter. He let go of the item as your fingers reached out, taking his hand with a grip that was gentle, but definitively steady and devoid of any doubt.

"Thank you for saying that," you whispered softly. "It turns out we have a few things in common.”

There was more to your connection than just your interweaved histories, each shadowed by family expectations that had seemed overwhelming since infancy. If Sanji viewed you as such an extraordinary person, he was even more so himself. He surpassed any other man you had ever encountered, and in that moment, you could no longer overlook the burgeoning emotions of affection you were starting to nurture for him.

Because it was undeniably the truth. You were falling in love with Sanji, regardless of where that journey might lead you.

"Of course, love," he responded, with an assuredness as if it was the most natural thing in the world, yet somewhat shyly reciprocating your gesture, enveloping your warm fingers within his grip.

Observing it, your hand suddenly appeared so small compared to his.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this as well. I don't know your family, and I'm not entirely sure what kind of fighting skills they expected you to master. But, from my perspective, you're as exceptional on the battlefield as you are in the kitchen.”

The manner in which he conquered your former fiancé, employing those fluid leg movements, was still etched in your memory.

“You flatter me.”

You shrugged. "It's something that had to be done.”

"I adore your straightforwardness.”

'And I adore you,' you silently confessed to yourself.

Silently, you reached for your mug again, taking a sip of your tea without releasing his hand. He maintained a firm grasp, even starting a gentle movement with his thumb, softly stroking your knuckles. You could feel the spark, the connection, the mutual comprehension between both of you.

Only when the noise of Zeff's peg leg resonated in your ears, did you quickly part from each other and clear your throat. You downed the rest of your tea in one noticeable gulp, standing from your chair to move towards the sink. Zeff squinted, sensing the suddenly tense ambiance, and repeatedly shifted his gaze between you and Sanji. As you cleaned the mug, he kept silent, merely waiting for you to finish and taking off his hat.

"Aye, that's enough for today," he remarked, observing the immaculate state of the kitchen once more.

"Do you require anything else, sir?" You asked.

"Call me Zeff. And no, you've done more than was asked of you. It's time for you to take a break and rest.”

With a final smile, you nodded and set the dried mug down. You felt the watchful eyes of both men on you, observing your every move as you stepped away.

"And Y/N," Zeff added, invoking your name, "You've done an excellent job.”

You almost blushed at the compliment, a gesture you weren't typically accustomed to receiving. "Thank you, sir-Zeff. I'll see you tomorrow.”

"Avoid showing up as early as you did this morning. I want you to get some sleep.”

It wasn't a reproach, rather a gentle suggestion stemming from his kindness.

With your hand leaning against the one of the doors, you turned around, a wide smile unfurling on your face. "I'm afraid I can't make any promises.”

Zeff's mustache twitched upwards as he chuckled, finding amusement within himself.

And with that, you were on your way, climbing the stairs towards your cabin, undoing the buttons of your jacket as feelings of pride, joy, and satisfaction washed over your heart.

Days slipped into weeks, and before you even realized it, you had seamlessly integrated into the team and were experiencing the highest level of job satisfaction you'd ever felt.

Your responsibilities were varied and all of equal significance. You cleaned, you washed, you provided assistance, and sometimes, with surges of confidence, you even ventured out to take orders from the customers. Zeff never found it necessary to aid you or assign you a specific task, as you were resourceful enough to take initiative on your own. Was someone too occupied cooking three different meals and couldn't leave the stove? You were there to hand over any needed ingredients or supplies from the cabinets. Did a dish accidentally tumble and shatter all over the floor? It was no issue at all, as it only took you a few minutes to restore the tiles to their pristine condition.

Contrary to what anyone might have anticipated, you also worked seamlessly with Sanji, despite the tangible attraction that lingered in the air. You were incredibly harmonized, always aligned and coordinating impeccably. With your presence in the kitchen, Sanji seemed to exhibit heightened meticulousness and skills, although the animated exchanges with Zeff continued to be a common event.

You valued the way he appreciated everything you did, even dashing over to you if he thought you might have inadvertently burned yourself or nicked a finger. At times, he could be slightly overprotective, but his ample attentiveness was the highlight of your day, day in and day out.

You lost track of the times Mari had squealed in your ear, whenever you mentioned that nothing had occurred between you and Sanji. She was essentially your cheerleader, anxiously anticipating the moment you could finally admit that you had spent the night together. Admittedly, there were countless chances for you to invite him over, or even just steal a kiss during the infrequent moments of privacy you managed to secure. However, Sanji never took that bold step forward, and you certainly didn't have the bravery to make the first move yourself.

A part of you still wrestled with insecurity, suspecting that his kindness and casual flirtation were nothing more than platonic jest.

One day, a particularly disheartening situation occurred that only served to amplify your doubts about him. As you moved to and fro in the dining room, cleaning up the vacant tables and setting them anew, you overheard two girls conversing near the restroom, casually chatting while holding cigarettes between their impeccably manicured fingers.

"That guy is so attractive, don't you think?”

"You mean the blond one? What's his name... Sanji?”

Your ears perked up, and you deliberately slowed your movements, feigning the need to smooth out a few wrinkles in the tablecloth.

"Exactly. I think he's attracted to me.”

Your heart plummeted.

"To be fair, he seemed taken with all the beautiful women in the room.”

You shifted to another table, a bit further away but still within hearing distance of the two ladies. You were aware that Sanji exhibited a distinct kindness, as he also did towards your mother, Mari, and Rory when they visited the Baratie. Nevertheless, you couldn't dispel the notion that you were simply one among many, another girl for him to charm for entertainment and to make his work hours more enjoyable.

You knew deep down that your relationship was distinct, that he never misled you and truly relished your company. Yet, there was a persistent voice in your head that insisted on caution.

"Well yes, but did you notice the way he looked at me?”

"Like he wanted to devour you? Yeah, I noticed that a bit."

The glass you were holding almost slipped from your grasp, and you exhaled a sigh of relief the moment you managed to steady it against your chest.

"I'll try to snag a private moment with him. Then we'll see who's devouring who.”

Their laughter felt like a sharp stab, and you couldn't stomach to stay and overhear any longer. You collected as much as you could from the tables, retreating to the kitchen with a sinking feeling as your stomach churned into an uneasy knot.

For the remainder of the day, your mind was elsewhere, and although you resisted the urge to act childishly and sulk, you still found it difficult to stand next to Sanji. Naturally, he remained completely oblivious, cracking jokes and smiling at you in a way that momentarily soothed your troubled heart, only for it to be stung again as soon as you recalled the woman's words.

You couldn't even bear to look at him as you withdrew to your cabin at the end of your shift, collapsing into a dejected ball on your bed. Mari, of course, highlighted the folly in your behavior, trusting a stranger's baseless assertions more than Sanji himself. She had a point, you conceded, but the longer you worked at the Baratie, the harder it became for you to be around him without any progress in your relationship.

"I'm telling you, Y/N, you need to get your head out of your butt,” she voiced through the snail phone.

"Well, thank you.”

"Look, I love you, but you're driving me up the wall. What exactly are you waiting for? Do you really want to play the innocent until some other woman swoops in and snatches him away?”

"It's not that simple. We work together, and Zeff watches us the whole time.”

She snickered. "Of course he does. Do you honestly expect him to be fine with you two going at it like rabbits in his kitchen?”

"Mari, what the hell!! I never said that!”

The sound of her wheezing laughter managed to coax a smile onto your face, and you found your nightly conversations with her absolutely indispensable at that point.

"All I’m saying is that you should really give this a shot. What's the worst that could result from it?”

You lay down in frustration, shielding your eyes with the back of your arm. "Looking like a total fool if he rejects me? Getting my heart broken? Having to work alongside him every day after that?”

She sighed. "So what? It's not the end of the world. I understand you like him, but it is what it is. If he rejects you, which I seriously doubt he would, you are strong enough to move on and continue with your job. At least you'd know where you stand.”

You knew your friend was speaking the truth. As hard as it might be, knowing the truth would certainly be better than constantly questioning yourself every single day.

But the fact of the matter was, you deeply cherished your friendship with Sanji. The last thing you wanted was to jeopardize it and create a tense atmosphere in your workplace if things took a turn for the worse.

"Mari, I'm not sure. I think the best course of action for me is to just be a good coworker without holding any expectations.”

She grunted. "Are you freaking kidding me?”

"I'm not like you. I wish I could be stronger and just as bold as you are, but I can't.”

Mari fell silent, and for a moment, you thought the line had accidentally dropped.

“Mari? Are you still there?”

She let out a sigh, but this time it was shaky, laden with sadness, brimming with emotions.

"Y/N, if there's anything my dad has taught me, it's that we only live once in this crazy world. Life is unpredictable, and in the current age, the things we have today might be completely gone tomorrow. All we'll be left with then is regret.”

You sat up straight, repositioning the snail phone in your ear, and listened in silence.

"I understand that I can come off as a bit harsh at times, but I practically grew up on my own. Since my grandmother passed away, I've had to make every single decision for myself, without anyone dictating what's right or wrong. I'm used to going after what I want, and I take risks knowing that they might not work out. But at least that gives me some peace of mind.”

Her words, somehow, stirred up emotions within you, and you felt a lump forming in your throat. You had always been so absorbed in your own troubles, consumed with your frustrations against your father and the way your family treated you, that you overlooked the fact that she was completely alone, shouldering everyone's burdens without any questions or complaints.

"I'm not going to dictate what you should do, this is your life we're talking about. But whatever you and Sanji share at this moment, it's unique for you and likely for him too. Even if you're not destined to end up together, even if you remain just friends or mere coworkers, why would you want to miss out on the chance of experiencing happiness, even if it's only for one night?”

Upon further reflection, her perspective appeared to be faultless. You weren't yet sure about what you wanted from Sanji, and you unquestionably understood you couldn't change his character or the way he interacted with women. You were always the one being taken advantage of, treated as a showpiece to be paraded around, and now your fear of Sanji just trifling with your feelings intensified as your affection for him grew.

"Thank you, Mari. I appreciate your honesty.”

You heard the smile in her voice through the snail phone. "Just give it some thought, okay? You know I only want what's best for you.”

“I do.”

And so, the moment you ended the call and put the device away, as soon as you readied yourself for sleep and turned off the lights, you made a promise to yourself not to let your past interfere again. Even if Sanji offered his charming smile to someone else out of courtesy, even if he enjoyed being flirtatious and treating all women equally, you couldn't deny the fact that he genuinely cared for you and liked you as an individual. He always made sure that you had everything you needed at the Baratie, that you never felt isolated or overlooked. He acted as a guardian, a protector, a figurative cornerstone for your stability. Above all, he was a remarkable man brimming with virtues, one who liked to dream big, but chose to stick to his current routine for reasons you weren’t quite fully aware of.

Regardless of the outcome, you resolved to nurture this relationship and see where it would take you.

As you drifted off to sleep, your thoughts meandered to the woman in the restaurant who was intent on securing some alone time with the man you were interested in. Your lips curled into a satisfied beam at the simple fact that she had to depart unfulfilled.

As more days passed, your inner turmoil appeared to have quieted down. You thoroughly enjoyed your time at the Baratie more and more as it kept you active and facilitated great teamwork, along with a few valuable lessons directly from Sanji or Zeff himself. Apparently, you had risen significantly in the old man's esteem when you detected a piece of meat that had been stashed away and was clearly turning bad. With your enhanced sense of smell, you were consistently aware of the terrible stench of decay in the air, which no one else seemed to take seriously. Your persistence and unique ability earned you further praise and appreciation, which only served to make your job far more gratifying than you had anticipated.

Zeff never specifically instructed you to cook, but you could tell that he wanted to broaden your knowledge and help you memorize things that might come in handy in case of emergencies. You enjoyed preparing food and experimenting with it, but as someone who had never made any complex dish for a large group of people, you were content with merely assisting the experts around you.

It's not like you didn't have enough to carry out, anyway. The pile of plates, glasses, and cutlery in the sink wouldn't clean itself, and you had become quite proficient at creating accurate inventories based on what the team already possessed or would require in the near future. It was exhausting, but you loved every moment of what you did, as there was nothing more satisfying than feeling indispensable.

Unfortunately, your resolve was not as robust as you had believed it to be.

During lunch, you were carefully arranging dishes onto a silver tray, strategically positioning them in a way that would allow you to carry everything back to the kitchen without the entire load tumbling onto the floor. The large pillar in front of you was keeping you hidden and tucked away from the newcomers entering the restaurant, but as destiny would have it, the sound of those voices was unmistakable and impossible to overlook.

Your blood turned icy cold, and your body stiffened to the point where you thought you had lost all ability to move. Your hands trembled, and you had to let go of the tray to avoid accidentally tipping it over.

Your parents were there, casually dropping by as if nothing had ever happened, being ushered by the fish-man to a distant table for two. From your vantage point, you could see your father glancing around before taking a seat and perusing the open menu in front of him. You immediately put two and two together, deducing that he was simply hoping to catch sight of you among the gathering crowd.

Your breathing escalated, and your face was likely turning as pale as the tablecloths in the dining area. What led them to the Baratie? Had they decided to drop in simply to relish the high-quality food, or was there another, more personal reason that filled you with a sense of dread just at the thought of it?

It took you a moment to notice Sanji next to you, calling your name and immediately expressing concern for your sudden state of shock.

"Y/N? Are you okay?”

When you met his face, Sanji's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"They're here," you whispered, eyes wide open, now fixated on the back of your mother’s head.

Sanji's gaze roamed across the room, finally resting on your parents' table. His lips narrowed into a thin line, his hands idly positioned on his hips as he fell into deep contemplation. There was no need for words, because he knew. No matter the distance you had traveled since your departure from your hometown, the scars left by that man's actions were indelible.

And he, more than anyone else, could comprehend that depth of pain.

You took a step back, gripped by terror. "They've come all the way here for me.”

"Hey, look at me, beautiful.”

Gently, he placed his hands on your shoulders, attempting to divert your attention from the painful memories. "You don't know that. Maybe they just came to eat.”

"No, it’s not that. I ruined my father’s career and political ambitions. I was naive to think he would just let me go.”

With Admiral Wheeler on your side, you anticipated a sense of discretion, a restraint in their pursuit of you. Desperate and anxious, you glanced from one side to the other, inhaling and exhaling as if you were gasping for air.

"Y/N, calm down, I'm right here with you.”

He cupped your face, his warm hands pressing against your cheeks, affording you a brief respite to draw some calming breaths. His eyes, hypnotic and near-magical, softened as he brushed away a loose strand of hair.

"You're not alone. I won't let anything happen to you.”

Your hands clung to his elbows with desperate entreaty, begging for his assistance. "Keep him away from me. Please.”

He smiled. "As if you even need to ask.”

Gradually, you succumbed to the warmth of his touch, quelling the resurgent fears that threatened to consume you.

"Stay in the kitchen, don't come out until they've left.”

"I was supposed to set the tables...”

Sanji shook his head, beginning to undo his uniform, and handing you his jacket with the most tender expression you'd ever seen. "I'll handle it, love. Just stay in there.”

"Wait, you can't be serious. You hate being a waiter.”

"For you, I could be anything," he replied, giving a playful wink before heading out into the dining hall.

You remained still, vigilantly avoiding notice, as you watched Sanji roll up his sleeves, readying himself to clear the tables of the remnants of prior meals. You saw your father's attention divert to him, and he muttered something to your mother who, in response, looked at the chef curiously and nodded her head in acknowledgment.

Sanji remained unfazed, extending only a brief, polite smile towards your mother, which quickly morphed into a frown directed at your father, a silent admonition hanging in the air. You noticed the man’s skin take on its usual reddish hue, a telltale sign of his anger, and how his wife skillfully kept him in check with a light squeeze on his wrist.

A part of you wasn't sure whether to find humor in the scene or worry over your father's short fuse. Christopher, despite his years of training and muscular stature, was tamed rather easily. Your father wouldn't stand a chance against Sanji's agile and powerful kicks.

Before retreating back to the kitchen, you succumbed to the temptation of pressing your nose into Sanji’s jacket, inhaling his unique scent. You could distinctly identify it amidst the remnants of spices—nutmeg, clove, and a touch of black pepper—, with that underlying note of sandalwood, and a hint of fresh, clean citrus. There was also a faint hint of tobacco, a testament to his ever-present cigarette, which blended with the other scents to create a smoky undertone that wasn't overpowering but rather contributed to his allure.

As outlandish as it may seem, that alone was enough to anchor you.

Under Sanji's vigilant eyes, you felt an unshakeable belief that you were safe from harm. There was comfort in knowing your parents would soon leave after their meal, and a future encounter was unlikely in the near term. All you needed to do was hold on a bit longer, continue performing your duties impeccably, and not let their presence destabilize the life you had painstakingly built for yourself.

You were so mistaken.

Over the next several hours, your mind became wholly occupied with your tasks, allowing you to forget about your parents having lunch nearby. Sanji had retreated to the kitchen, reverting to his role as sous chef, while you meticulously attended to cleaning stoves, pans, and silverware in between courses. You found solace in the routine assignments that had become your refuge. Each dish you cleaned, each pot you scrubbed, offered a momentary escape from the memories of your past and the oppressive grip of your family's ambitions.

The frequent glances you exchanged with Sanji were incredibly soothing. The smiles, the affirmative nods, the gentle brushes of fingers against your back whenever he passed close to you. All your fears had dissipated, replaced by a wonderful sense of protection, security, and care.

Knowing your father's lack of restraint and common sense, however, you should have known better than to celebrate too soon.

The lively chatter of patrons outside soon transformed into a curious murmur, as everyone could hear the shouts of someone making demands and growing increasingly irate with the negative responses from the staff. It all occured in a sequence; the commanding insistence on being left undisturbed, the determination to call you out from your seclusion, the stomping in the dining area that intensified and grew louder as the unruly man outside approached the kitchen. You couldn't even brace yourself for what was coming, because the moment the doors swung open, your father appeared like an unwelcome storm, disrupting the harmony of the space.

Disregarding the restaurant's rules and the basic etiquette one should show towards the employees, as soon as he spotted you with an apron and a wet dish in your hand, his features blazed with fury.

"I knew I'd find you here," he spat out, his voice oozing with contempt as his glare locked onto yours.

You stood frozen at the sink, your hands still submerged in soapy water, your face pale.

"Is this what you wanted? To be a damn scullery maid for the rest of your life?”

The kitchen fell into silence, your coworkers watching the unexpected confrontation with a blend of shock and worry. Your father moved closer, his expression a contorted mix of smugness and rage. "Well, it's not surprising," he continued, his voice a derisive sneer. "After all, it's not as if you could aspire to anything better.”

Sanji intervened at that moment, his demeanor cool but his eyes filled with silent anger. He positioned himself between you and your father, his stance protective. "That's enough," he stated, his voice quiet but exuding an undeniable authority. "You have no right to speak to her like that.”

The man scoffed, glaring at Sanji with even more repulsion. "And here's the knight in shining armor. This isn't any of your business, boy.”

Sanji met your father's menacing tone without hesitation, his resolve remaining firm and unshaken. "You are in our restaurant, right in our kitchen, showing disrespect to one of ours. We treat everyone as family here, so yes, it is my business sir. If you have any complaints, you can take them outside.”

The corners of your mouth lifted slightly at Sanji's defensive words. His broad shoulders and wide back served as a barrier, effectively isolating you from the relentless monster.

"She’s my daughter," your father emphasized. "I have every right to speak to her as I see fit.”

Sanji took a deep breath, stepping forward just as your mother burst through the doors, imploring her husband to cease his actions. Surprisingly, for the first time, she appeared reluctant to stir up a commotion in a public place.

The tension in the room was tangible, as various team members instinctively reached for whatever was at hand, be it knives or pans. Patty's slicing blade was particularly alarming.

You couldn't let the situation escalate and descend into complete chaos. They all deserved far more than such a tense and hostile atmosphere.

Still clutching the damp plate, you reached for Sanji's upper arm and stepped out from behind him, offering a reassuring nod to indicate that you could manage the situation independently. He was hesitant, yet chose to honor your decision, giving you sufficient room to proceed while maintaining a close proximity to you.

Your eyes held a hollow darkness as you regarded the man as if he were a total stranger, an insignificant bug to be squashed. "This isn't the place for you, sir. I respectfully request that you settle your bill and leave the Baratie immediately.”

You hadn't anticipated his retreat and compliance, yet his cackling response to your professional, albeit intimidating intervention, caused your grip on the plate to tighten even further.

"Do you really believe you're superior to me? Look at yourself, washing dishes like the utter failure that you are.”

Facing such humiliation once again, especially in front of Sanji and your colleagues, made you feel incredibly small and miserable. The last thing you wanted was to introduce your family drama into your new life, and even less so, your workplace.

You held your tongue, as none of your thoughts were suitable for the setting you were in. You refrained from mocking him for wanting to thrust you into an even grimmer lifestyle by marrying you off to a marine and relegating you to household chores. You didn't rebuke him for being such a disastrous parent that he made you wish you had never been born too many times, either.

The plate was creaking. You could have let it go, but you required something, anything, to clutch at, a physical outlet for your escalating frustration and the biting retorts you were forced to suppress.

“Y/N does a remarkable job,” Sanji interjected.

"In what, cleaning? That's merely part of her training."

Your mother tried to pull the man's arm to lead him away, but your father jerked violently, nearly causing her to stumble backward.

"After all the efforts I've made to educate you, to secure a decent life for you.”

Your jaw set.

"The reality is, everyone would be better off without your pathetic existence.”

The plate splintered in your hands, fragments of ceramic scattering on the floor. It was a mystery how you managed to keep your composure, as for the first time, you felt a powerful urge to physically assault your own father, to land a blow so severe it would render his face unrecognizable.

You could feel your heartbeat pulsating in your eardrums, your palm enclosing a single, sharp fragment of the plate.

"What the bloody hell is going on in my kitchen?”

The moment Zeff arrived, your mother let out a startled yelp, while your father barely acknowledged the head chef, his gaze fixated provocatively on you. It was as if he was anticipating, even baiting a response from you. So engrossed was he in his perverse motivations and aspirations, he would have accepted harm if it meant seeing you confined within the walls of a Marine prison.

It would have been the ideal retaliation against you. His despicability truly knew no bounds.

"This place is not a tourist attraction. Get out.”

Zeff was incensed, his irritation amplified by seeing your unsettled mental state, and the blood dribbling from a gash in your hand, to which you appeared entirely unaware.

"Oh, I'm leaving," your father retorted. "And she's coming with me.”

Sanji moved again, barring the brash man from advancing further. However, Zeff had already run out of patience, extracting his pistol and aiming it at your father's head. "Seems like my message wasn't clear. Allow me to clarify.”

Terrified, your mother gasped, pleading with her husband to relent and withdraw. For a moment, he didn't even blink, but the visible swallow and the sweat beading on his forehead were clear indicators of his rising blood pressure due to fear.

Zeff's hand clamped around his collar, and with a rough tug, he forced your father to his knees, causing him to wince. The cold barrel of the ex-pirate's weapon remained unmoved, pressing even harder against his temple.

"Now listen here, Scallywag. She's part of my crew and she won't be going anywhere with you, or anyone else incapable of showing her the respect she deserves. Do you understand?”

Your father nodded frenetically, casting one last repulsed look at you, before being hurled like garbage towards the entrance.

“Now pay and get the hell out of here.”

Your father had so much he wanted to articulate. You could see the resistence, the way his lips moved to form words but closed again. Eventually, he simply pulled himself up, brushed down his jacket, and stormed out of the kitchen with his pride in tatters.

Your mother heaved a sigh of relief, but contrary to your expectations, she didn't promptly follow him. She twirled her fingers, toyed with her purse, and gnawed on her lower lip anxiously.

When she looked at you, she seemed completely drained, hollow and dissatisfied.

"Y/N, for what it's worth, I... I regret that it had to come to this.”

She had never once stood up for you since the day you were born, always adhering to your father's dictates, punishments, and mentality. No matter what she had to say, regardless of any apology, you had no intention of hearing another word.

"Zeff has told you to get out," you declared frostily, regarding her with a mixture of loathing and indifference.

She stammered, her eyes brimming with tears, before muttering more sentiments that you had no desire to take in.

"I-I.... I understand that you're upset. Your father can overreact sometimes, you know how he is," she chuckled nervously. "But, you see, everything he's done.... i-it was for your own good.”

For your own good.

If you had believed that nothing could provoke you more than your father's deeds or utterances, you now realized there was no ceiling to the bitterness you could experience.

The vitriol welling on your tongue was scorching, burning you from the inside. “GET OUT!!!”

Your own voice was unrecognizable to you as you released a scream so intense that it made your mother recoil, panting with her hand over her chest. Sanji strengthened his hold on your wrist and softly stroked the back of your neck several times, helping to soothe your tension and prompting you to let go of the ceramic shard that was clearly inflicting damage on your skin.

In a flash, she was gone, the clacking of her heels against the floor fading as she scurried away, the kitchen doors swaying back and forth until they finally settled.

Deep inside, the wounds you believed were finally starting to mend had been savagely torn open again. Your parents had left, the ordeal was over, you were safe and sound. And yet, you could feel that familiar, ominous shadow enveloping you.

How were you supposed to face your colleagues now, feeling their eyes on you as if you were a pitiful, helpless child?

Sanji's fingers interlaced with yours, and the fragment of the broken plate finally dropped, uniting with the rest on the tiled floor below. Upon examining your palm, you noticed a long, horizontal laceration that was bleeding quite profusely, but it didn't appear especially severe. Truthfully, you couldn't even feel it.

Zeff exhaled in annoyance, but his displeasure wasn't aimed at you in the slightest. He placed a hand on your shoulder, studying your face as you strived to revive the vitality in your body, and signalled Sanji to guide you out and attend to your injury.

"Everyone back to work," he ordered. "Now's not the time to slack off.”

Patty turned away, his expression etched with sorrow for what he had just witnessed, while the rest of the crew silently resumed their duties, the room falling in a disquieting silence.

"Follow me, sweetheart,” Sanji voiced softly, doing his utmost to prevent you from spiraling into a well of self-pity.

Regrettably, it was already too late for that.

"The floor is stained," you observed, looking at the red droplets that had seeped from your cut.

"Are you seriously worrying about that now?" Zeff asked, a note of amusement creeping into his question.

"It is my fault. Let me just clean that up first-”

"No, no, no. Go with Little Eggplant and attend to your hand. That's an order.”

His eyes mirrored the depth of the sprawling sea, and the smile unfurling beneath his mustache was so sincere it stirred a flurry of emotions within your heart.

The people in the dining area had picked up their conversations, engaging in chatter and enjoying their meals without any disruptions. Your breathing was unsteady, and your legs felt as wobbly as jelly the moment you made your way upstairs to Sanji's cabin. He rummaged through a wooden box, pulling out a strip of gauze and a bottle of disinfectant, signaling for you to take a seat on his bed.

You wondered if he had ever cut or burned himself while cooking over the years, but given the flawless state of his hands, you surmised that he kept these items purely as a precaution now.

"I'm sorry," you blurted out, watching him attentively clean your wound and wind the soft fabric around your hand.

“What for? You haven't done anything wrong.”

“I thought I had finally escaped that mess. But it seems you can never truly outrun your past.” Your eyes clamped shut in defeat, forcing back the impending tears. "I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble.”

"You didn’t cause any trouble, my dear.”

The fact he constantly supported you, safeguarding you from all the adverse impacts your family and ex had imposed on their restaurant, was both comforting and unsettling. Although you weren't directly liable for those public disruptions, simply being connected to them was enough to burden you with a feeling of responsibility.

"They came here because of me. Because of my actions back home,” you surmised.

"And what did you do, aside from liberating yourself from that oppressive shitbag?”

For a moment, you had to suppress a laugh at Sanji's blunt insult. He was so infuriated, so profoundly impacted as though the criticisms were personally directed at him.

Clearing his throat, he quickly corrected himself, "My apologies. I shouldn’t say that.”

"It’s fine. He is a shitbag through and through.”

Sanji's shoulders sagged, and his eyebrows furrowed together. "I couldn't bear the way he was badmouthing you.”

You responded with a shrug. "I'm used to it. I just wished this was a bygone tale, you know.”

Now that your palm was duly treated and bandaged, you could feel the sting as your skin tugged and brushed against the fabric.

“Trust me, love. I know.”

The way he said it, so honestly and with a melancholic smile that starkly contrasted his usual positivity and radiance, suggested that he, too, bore a substantial burden from his past experiences that he wrestled with each passing day.

Your friends often marveled at the fact that you turned out to be a sheer miracle, considering the harsh treatment you were subjected to since childhood, describing you as the rarest of gems. But now, you realized that you weren’t the only one, because Sanji was equally wondrous and dazzling, a beautiful flower blooming in the harshest of terrains.

You were like two kindred spirits, encountering each other amidst the storm you were fleeing from, as he waited for you with an outstretched hand in the rainbow.

Or at least, you preferred to perceive it that way, even if it might just be your mind concocting vivid notions of something that wasn't actually there.

With Sanji holding your hand, tenderly caressing your cheekbone, and allowing his forehead to graze against yours, you found yourself wishing you could push everything else out of your mind. His nearness was incredibly intense, and when his lips unintentionally ended up a tad too close, barely parting as if inviting you in, your heart raced uncontrollably.

Mari's words echoed in your head, and for a fleeting moment, you almost lost control and succumbed to the urge to kiss him. But despite the powerful longing that rocked you to your core, irrespective of how alluring his lips seemed, and how his breath vitalized you, you ultimately concluded that the timing was not right. You were in a vulnerable state, seeking solace and reinforcement. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel pressured, and for you to leverage your vulnerabilities as a crutch for such a significant step.

You didn't approach the act of kissing a man lightly. You were aware it was a bit cliché and overly romantic, but you always relied on that perfect instant to show up; the one that would send your stomach into a flutter of butterflies and fill your chest with a refreshing sense of peace.

And so, in spite of everything your body was suggesting, you disengaged from him.

Sanji appeared disheartened when you withdrew your hand and sat up straight, effectively creating distance from his face. Nevertheless, his smile promptly returned, leading you to hastily assume that you had merely imagined it.

"I think I understand where your chivalry comes from," you stated, lightly running your fingers over the bandage. "Zeff has his unique methods of imparting lessons, but when it involves me, or women in general, he transforms into a completely different person.”

"Yeah," he replied, chuckling. "He's the kind of man who views any form of disrespect towards women as a violation of a rule that exists since the age of dinosaurs.”

"That's quite a long way back," you said with a laugh.

"Well, he does make a valid point.”

During your tenure at the Baratie, you had the opportunity to understand Zeff on a more personal level. You could distinctly see why Mari held him in such high regard and deemed him worthy of her admiration.

"I'm glad you two found each other," you shared with him gently.

“Eh. He’s a piece of work,” he stated, pulling a face.

"But despite that, you still care about him, right?”

You couldn't resist planting a gentle kiss on his cheek, a move he hadn't expected, causing him to gaze at you with wide-eyed surprise.

"Come on," you urged him, rising to your feet and clasping his hand in your uninjured one. "Let's go back.”

He felt the need to protest, to remind you that you were meant to take the rest of the day off to avoid the risk of your wound reopening, but your determination was all it took to make him sigh and crack another grin.

After all, he had truly come to know you, witnessing firsthand your unwavering dedication and acknowledging your inherent need to remain engaged to forestall your thoughts from drifting.

As you made your way back, traversing the hallways and descending the stairs, his fingers tenderly held your hand, giving it a light squeeze and rendering the act of letting go a daunting challenge.

The rest of your shift progressed relatively peacefully and wasn't excessively demanding. Because of your injured hand, you kept yourself away from the sink to avoid any water contact. Patty had kindly suggested that you help him during meal preparations, an offer you readily accepted as it offered a welcome diversion and helped you reclaim your ease in the kitchen following the unfortunate incident with your father.

Much to your relief, everyone seemed unfazed. They treated you with kindness and without any awkwardness, all signs of tension having completely dissipated. Your gratitude couldn't have been greater, for you were truly working in the best place in the world.

If all that had occurred just a few weeks earlier, you would have spent the following hours weeping your eyes out, curled up into a ball on your bed. Now, despite the pain you still harbored within, with your father's words resonating in your mind, you were exhibiting the broadest smiles, the most sgenuine laughs, and the most robust energy. Your hand was somewhat of a hindrance, and Sanji frequently checked the condition of your bandage to ensure the injury hadn't begun to bleed again. But despite the bothersome burning sensation it sent through your palm, you refused to cease.

You did your utmost just like any other day, and before you even knew it, night had descended.

The warm, golden illumination from the kitchen lamps cast a homely glow over the stainless steel countertops and shiny cookware. The air was still imbued with the lingering scents of the evening's culinary delights, and the usually bustling ambience with the noises of sizzling pans and clattering dishes, was now more subdued, save for the occasional soft hum of the refrigeration units.

One by one, the team members left to retire in their cabins, and Patty had finally permitted himself a moment of relaxation by enjoying some beer at the farthest table in the room. Sanji was cleaning the last stack of dishes on your behalf, while you meticulously scrubbed and shined the counters around. Fatigue was starting to set in, both emotionally and physically, but you pushed it aside by stifling a yawn.

Once you were done, you assembled the waste and secured the bag's top with a knot. Upon glancing at the wooden countertop near the sink, you spotted an untouched plate, brimming with fresh food and nestled into a corner.

"And this?" You questioned in bewilderment, admiring the beautiful presentation in front of you. "What’s it doing here?”

Sanji took a look over his shoulder, a small grin appearing on his lips as he continued to rinse the dishes. "Oh, that," he said, his voice casual but with a trace of something more. "I was experimenting earlier.”

You moved closer, your gaze still fixed on the plate. "It looks amazing. What's in it?”

Sanji wiped his hands on a towel and turned to face you, leaning nonchalantly against the counter. "Seared tuna with a citrus glaze and ginger, some fresh herbs and a dash of spice. Thought I’d try something different tonight.”

You looked up at him, your eyes gleaming with curiosity. "Why is this here? Aren't you going to eat it?”

"It's not intended for me, beautiful. I prepared it for you," came the response.

"For me...?”

"You didn't eat much today, did you?"

Caught between your job and the disconcerting run-in with your brutish father, you could hardly proclaim any semblance of hunger. Your stomach had constricted, grudgingly permitting the ingestion of mere bread and seasoned croutons, as it rejected anything more substantial, deeming it too difficult to digest.

"I suppose not," you responded. "But, with all the work you had to handle, you really didn't have to go out of your way to cook for me.”

"Eh, it's nothing complex. I didn't want you to go to sleep on an empty stomach.”

The more you endeavored to maintain a friendly, professional attitude, the more he did things that made you want to abandon all restraint. How could he be so thoughtful, so kind-hearted, so incredibly sweet?

“Well then. Mind if I try it?”

Sanji’s grin broadened, a playful twinkle in his eyes. "Be my guest.”

You picked up a fork, took a modest bite, and without any formalities, brought it to your lips, savoring the fusion of flavors with a newfound curiosity. The combination of spices, the juicy fish, and the refreshing citrus creating a delightful harmony, sparked a genuine explosion on your tongue and taste buds.

Each meal he prepared was unique, every dish distinctive and never repetitive. His culinary creativity was formidable, with every utensil serving as a brush, crafting edible masterpieces on the impromptu canvases of pots and plates.

You were genuinely rendered speechless. "Wow. Sanji, this is incredible.”

Sanji observed you with a gentle, fond gaze. "I’m glad you like it. After all, I had a special someone in mind.”

How could he say that so effortlessly, so spontaneously, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world? A blush tinted your cheeks at his words as you set the fork down. The atmosphere around you seemed to heat up, filled with a silent tension that sent an electric charge from your head down to your toes.

"A special someone, huh?”

Sanji edged a bit closer, his voice dropping to a more intimate tone. "Yeah. Someone who deserves nothing less than the absolute best.”

Just as the situation was about to surge into high emotional territory, Patty’s complaint shattered the forming enchantment. "Hey, lovebirds, save it for after hours. I'm trying to enjoy my beer in peace.”

Sanji chuckled, shifting his eyes to take a quick look at Patty. "Don’t be jealous, man.”

Biting your lower lip, you kept staring at the food he had prepared, unable to slow down your heart which, in the meantime, had gone completely wild. The tacit bond between you seemed to rekindle, hinting at a promise of something more waiting to be unraveled. You could sense the heat radiating from his body, his arm grazing yours in a subtle contact, his eyes perusing you with a smile that was utterly irresistible.

Patty, perceptive of the change in the atmosphere, finished off his beer and rose with a grunt. He quietly maneuvered to where you and Sanji were standing, swiftly taking hold of the trash bag you were about to dispose of and heading towards the entrace.

"I'll handle this. You two, just refrain from doing anything Zeff wouldn't approve of.”

With that, he took his leave, thrusting the doors open and retreating from your presence with lightning speed.

Making him uncomfortable was the last thing you wanted, and now that you found yourself alone with Sanji, enveloped in the silence of the vacant space, you let out a timid giggle. "I'm afraid we made him feel like a third wheel.”

Sanji exhaled contentedly. "He'll survive.”

As you turned to look at him again, confident enough to withstand his charm without surrendering your self-control, you noticed the depth of his attention on you. All your resolve wavered in front of it, for all his blue eyes did was soften the barriers you had built around yourself.

"Thank you for making this for me,” you told him. "You're truly talented. But I believe I've mentioned that many times already.”

His sheepishness resurfaced, a facet he didn't reveal very often, but it showcased his inherent gentleness. "It’s never enough when it comes from you.”

Your joy was irrepressible, and as your conversation continued with playful banter and flirtatious jabs, you eagerly polished off the remainder of his meal, even finding yourself wishing for more.

You could hear the music from the lounge area gradually fading, the remaining customers taking their leave amidst hushed conversations. You fell into absolute silence as Sanji cleared away your plate, trying to avoid paying excessive attention to the way his muscles flexed, and to the subtle wave-like movement of his covered shoulder blades.

Straightening up and unbuttoning your white jacket, you kneaded your tense neck and let out a weary sigh. The day had been bustling and somewhat chaotic with all the incidents, and there was only so much you could do to fight off the fatigue now.

"Quite a long day, right?”

You responded with a nod. "The longest one yet.”

"I'm almost done here. Go get some sleep, my lovely. You need it.”

In the span of several weeks, there was no denying that your connection with Sanji had intensified. Your interactions and mutual esteem had sculpted a relationship that was both energizing and empowering. A silent attraction perpetually lingered between you, a magnetic allure that both of you were keenly aware of, yet hadn't outwardly acknowledged.

Even then, you could sense his anticipation for something more, something deeper, and that made the simple act of turning around to leave particularly arduous.

He stood by the counter, his typical confident smile gracing his lips, but his eyes revealed a hint of uncertainty, as though he was dipping his toes into the depths of something much more profound. You stood still, your thoughts whirling.

Each passing second elongated into an eternity as you weighed your options. You might have been terribly mistaken, but you thought you saw hope, a silent plea for you to close the distance that separated you.

Your moment of indecision was brief before determination took hold. It's not the right time, you continually reminded yourself. Not today... perhaps not ever.

Feeling defeated, you swallowed hard and reluctantly took a step back. "See you tomorrow.”

This time, Sanji appeared genuinely bewildered, disappointed, evidently expecting a different result. A few moments later, the corners of his lips curled up, but they lacked their usual magic. "Goodnight, Y/N.”

Had it all been a figment of your imagination? Were you interpreting expressions and reactions that, in reality, never truly existed?

As you walked away, a stubborn lump formed in your throat, steadfastly refusing to be swallowed down. With shaky hands, you reached for the doors, your focus landed over the bandage that Sanji had meticulously wrapped around your injury. Since the day you first showed up at the Baratie, he had performed a multitude of remarkable acts for you. He had protected you from Christopher, cooked you the most delectable meals, expressed worry for your wellbeing, and even faced your father without any reservations. And what had you given in return? Merely offered him your friendship? Tossed him occasional compliments?

If anything, it seemed like you primarily took him for granted, relying on him as your support system at the Baratie as soon as you were hired. You knew he would always be there to back you up and you took advantage of that, using it all to your benefit. He even consented to share his past, laden with tormenting memories that he would rather consign to oblivion and never dredge up again.

“Whatever you and Sanji share at this moment, it's unique for you and likely for him too. Even if you're not destined to end up together, even if you remain just friends or mere coworkers, why would you want to miss out on the chance of experiencing happiness, even if it's only for one night?”

Mari was right. Why were you so adamant about not making the first move? Sanji respected you too much to impose his emotions, or whatever they might be, upon you. And you would never find the 'right moment' because, in reality, you didn’t truly want to. You were scared, absolutely terrified, and had deliberately cocooned yourself in a shell that was now riddled with cracks.

That barrier needed to be dismantled. Permanently.

"Are you okay? Did you forget something?" he inquired, observing you rooted to the spot.

Swiveling on your heels, you turned to face him once more, a slow smile spreading across your face. It was a smile of relief, realization, passion, and love.

"Yes, I did."

Each stride you made towards him felt intentional, the distance between you slowly dwindling until you were just inches apart. Sanji's breath hitched, his usual calm demeanor faltering as he watched you approach.

Quietly, you raised your hands, gently but securely cupping his face. The entire restaurant seemed to shrink down to just the two of you, with the background noise vanishing completely. You could feel the increasing warmth of his skin, the slight roughness of his shaved stubble beneath your fingertips. For a brief moment, you hesitated, your gaze locking with his, searching for any sign of resistance.

There was none.

With a decisive tilt of your head, you finally pressed your lips onto his, initiating a kiss that was vibrant with energy, overflowing with all the feelings you'd held back for so long. It was a kiss of yearning, of unspoken words and unmet desires, the culmination of the undercurrent that had been building between you for weeks.

Sanji’s initial shock dissipated almost immediately, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer as he intensified the kiss. His movements were gentle, filled with careful consideration, afraid of causing you any discomfort. Yet, there also was an active fire, a fervor that ignited the moment and set it ablaze.

When you pulled apart, both of you were almost breathless, with your foreheads leaning against each other. You placed your hands on his chest, smiling and chortling, which he echoed, before his warm fingers mirrored your action and softly held the sides of your face. He leaned in to press his lips against yours again, his mouth moving eagerly against your own. Your tongues met, a bit timidly at first, then intertwined in a deeply sensuous dance.

He tasted of fresh spices, the familiar tang of citrus, sea salt and ocean breeze. There was also a rich undertone of wine, and a hint of tobacco mingling in.

Without breaking away from the kiss, his arms descended and wrapped around you, while your own reached up to encircle his neck. It was unforgettable, tantalizing, and as passionate as everything else he did.

That night, you had surrendered to the best decision you could ever make, breaking the promise you had made to Zeff.

You could only hope that he wouldn't choose to walk into the kitchen at that moment, as separating from Sanji's lips and embrace was something you couldn't imagine enduring.

Final note: SMUT is definitely coming in the next chapter! 🔥

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 (currently reading) Go to Chapter 6 (coming soon) ->

[halothenthehorns]

Pick 10 ships without looking at the questions before

Just something I found and decided to kill an hour to do:

1. FierroChase (Alex Fierro and Magnus Chase, Gods of Asgard)

2. Wolfstar( Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, Harry Potter)

3. Captain Swan (Killian Jones and Emma Swan, Once Upon a Time)

4. Gallavitch (Micky Milkovich and Ian Gallagher, Shameless)

5. Nominita (Nomi Marks and Amanita Caplin, Sense8)

6. Korrasami (Korra and Asami Sato, The Legend of Korra)

7. EBay (Emmet Bletso and Bay Kennish, Switched at Birth)

8. Spitfire (Artemis Crock and Wall West, Young Jusitce)

9. Charlie Epps and Amita  Ramanujan (Numb3rs, Not a popular enough show to have a ship name to my disappointment)

10. Ash Redfern and Mary-Lynnette Carter (Night World, Same as above)

Question 1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I got the vibe right from the start where Korra only kept writing to Asami and nobody else, and was pleased as punch how the show hinted at them becoming a thing at the end, then whooped out loud when the show runners confirmed it after it was done

Question 2. Have you ever read a FanFiction about 2?

(Insert hysterical laugh and gestures at 90% of what I read in my free time)

Question  3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr avatar?

No, but mostly because I prefer images to couples

Question  4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Ebay, They did break up! And I was not happy with it! I am still salty at how this ship ended and am convinced they would have gotten back together if the show kept going!

Question 5.  Why is 1 so important?

Alex Fierro was my spirit animal the moment he/ she was introduced, a shape shifter with an attitude, but a genuine person. What you see is what you get. Magnus being instantly in love with her/ him was my reaction too, and Alex deserves someone as wholesome and special as Magnus Chase

Question  6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Numb3rs, Oh it’s plenty serious, the show centers on their relationship a good chunk of the time and ends with their wedding and they’re so cute together in every scene. The episode where Amita is kidnapped, (Angels and Devils) still shocks and breaks my heart for Charlie every time I watch it.

Question  7. Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Ugh, define chemistry?! I love all of these ships for the same reason in each, I love how they care for each other. In every ship I can identify one moment that makes my heart swell seeing them together in cannon and always puts a smile on my face.

If you mean chemistry as an explosion though, gun to my head forced answer, I pick Gallavitch

Question  8. Out of all of the ships, which ship has the strongest bond?

Ash and  Mary-Lynnette or Wolfstar, both have this soulmate eternal bond thing going for them where they can love other people but were meant to be together in every way and always find their way back

Forced answer, Ash and  Mary-Lynnette, since they’re literal soulmates rather than metaphorical ones

Question  9. How many times have you read/watched 10’s fandom?

A good dozen times in the past, but not recently. I read Nightworld in my teen years and quickly grew obsessed with the idea of soulmates, I already loved apocalypse end of the world type things plus supernatural themes, and it was the first ever reading the books fanfic I tried to do, but stopped for the same reason I haven’t reread it in a long time, the last book was never written! And at this rate probably never will be. I’m just still so smitten with every single soul mate in these nine books, Ash and  Mary-Lynette just rank number one of all of them

Question 10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

I’m not sure what answer it’s after here? In chronological years of the show, I think Gallavitch would win, despite being on and off so long they lasted years together and ended up together at the end. The show of these with the longest run time is also Shameless, so that one by default I guess, though FierroChase is immortal even having only three books, so they’d win long term?

If it’s asking which I’ve shipped the longest, Wolfstar, back when I first read PoA. I’ve read The Servant of Lord Voldemort more times than anybody can count and their scenes together cemented themselves as my first pairing as far back as I can remember before I was intentionally shipping anything, Remus and Sirius were always together from that moment on.

Question  11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

Well Korrasami was only confirmed off screen after the show ended, so none technically, but I don’t believe in perfect couples who never have a disagreement so realistically it’s bound to happen at least once in their happily ever after

Question  12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Wolfstar or Spitfire?

Depends on if magic is allowed in this zombie apocalypse. If Remus and Sirius are Muggles, sorry boys, Artemis and Wally (even in this totally human scenario where he’s not a speedster) Artemis would kick enough ass to save her boo to win

If they were all at their normal badass capacity? It’s a fair 50/50 shot for both. You’d have to do a Death Battle going over every iota of detail to pick a winner.

Question  13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

EBay sort of started as s secret so Bay wouldn’t hurt Daphne’s feelings, but after that no. In my head after the show, when Travis didn’t come home from Japan after the third time because of scheduling issues, Bay would have run back to Emmet and cheated on Travis to be together with him again and they would have hid that until it came out and she was back together with him. Not a nice, neat ending, but what I think would have inevitably happened.

Question  14. Is 4 still together?

Gallavich is a Yes! Married! Thinking about kids! (Like Yevginny doesn't exist and is never mentioned again? Which the show ignores but not the point!)

Question  15. Is 10 canon?

Ash and Mary-Lynette are sort of, yes, mostly absolutely, though not currently together do to personal reason the characters are working through :(

Question  16. If all ten ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Ugh, way to many factors to consider with the varying degrees of powers going on in some of these. 

If they were all human, again I like Artemis Crock’s chances of survival since she is already human and badass in a world of superhero's and basically another set of Katniss and Peta going on here.

Kilian has a decent chance of him and Emma winning for the same reason if you strip her Savior powers since they’re so resourceful as humans.  

Alex and Magnus are basically a parallel (sometimes gender swapped) Peta and Katniss too on the scale going on here so they’d be scary contenders without their enerji boost.

Micky and Ian might have never had to survive outside the south side, but Ian’s got some minor military training and Micky’s just a terrifying brutal person with a blessed heart, so another insane match to beat. Those are my top four at minimum. 

Question  17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Nomi’s own parents! And Whispers can burn in hell where he belongs!

Question  18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

All. Of. Them. I have limited obsessions and you cannot fight me on their existence. The order that I go through each fandom is above.

Question  19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

CaptainSwan; I would if there was more content :( Sadly I got here a lot late after the show was long done so there’s not much new

Question 20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all up forever, which ship would you sink?

I regret this entire experience just for this question, but if I must, Korrasami. I only have my own head cannon content to keep them together and I won’t sacrifice what I do have for the others for something I can reinvent after this evil witch leaves

[handdrawnfantasma]

i got tagged by @monstrousmoonshine (ty!!) to self-rec 5 of my fave fics wot i have wrote so... here we go :')

1. "what if final fantasy x but with the magnus archives characters" aka the result of miri asking 'i had a mental image of jon doing the Sending and where's my jonmartin ffx au' aka clutching a map of dreams, the fic that has taken up the better part of the past 2 yrs and 8 months of my life. if you like tma and you also like fantasy epics like lord of the rings this is the fic for you. (i mean this very literally because the final word count pretty much equals that of LOTR lmao)!! Martin is swept away by a mysterious kaiju death monster into a stagnant future where things have gone Horribly Wrong and crosses paths with Jon who is a summoner tasked to go on a pilgrimage to somehow calm the aforementioned kaiju death monster. JRPG adventures, the world's saddest hiking trip, slowburn romance, found family and MANY revelations about why the world is the way it is ensue, also featuring the author wrestling with the concepts of sacrifice and responsibility and blame and where those all intersect with The Greater Good(tm) and how people's intent to do good or to atone for real or imagined wrongs can be manipulated by others and twisted to other purposes. there are only 6 updates to go until the fic is over so now is a good time to jump in and binge it. if u wanna [ eyes emoji ] honestly this is the first time i've even attempted to write something this long let alone FINISHED it and if i do say so myself i did a good job making sure that the plot made sense and that all the foreshadowing and callbacks/call forwards paid off. i also managed to fit SO MANY tma character cameos in there and some nice parallels to tma canon events as well as expanding on the FFX lore itself so like. im Very Proud of this one haha

2. the variant of soft hanahaki as envisioned by isa and myself and a few of our other friends back on plurk has lived in my brain rent-free for years and so of course i was going to inflict it on jon and martin. milk vetch is a short fic that takes place in the middle of TMA season 3, in a world where unspoken love (whether that be romantic, platonic, or otherwise) causes you to cough up (mostly harmless) flowers until you get over yourself and tell whoever it is that you love them. i had a LOT of fun with jon's POV in this one, his exhaustion and self-deprecation, and i also had a LOT of fun with the concept of the Beholding dropping a dictionary of flower symbolism into his head whenever he so much as looks at a hanahaki flower. it was also interesting to explore like... the psychology/reasoning behind NOT telling someone you love them even when the evidence is Right There, just going full magic realism with it all.

3. not to have never been is a fic taking place in the 13th doctor era sunless skies au that i've been building with kite for about a year and a half! 13 is a sky-captain, the fam are her officers, and this fic is about them getting caught in a weft of unravelling time and struggling to get Out without dying or losing themselves. i'm rly proud of this one because i managed to mix the episodic nature of a bottle episode of dr who (think 42 or Tsuranga) with the Sunless Skies ambience, and switching between 5 different 3rd-person limited POVs really let me play with allowing the voice of the character to permeate the narration which is a LOT of fun. i'm also proud of a couple of the cool things i managed to do with the structure here (having an Ice section followed by a Fire section and then a Dark section followed by a Light section) and some of the hints i laid down for the backstory of a few of the characters...

i actually only have 1 more of my fics to rec for this LMAO and it is still unfinished BUT in the spirit of the meme i'm gonna rec it anyway bc WIPs are still worth reading:

4. spydoc the locked tomb au, aka the result of me watching the power of the doctor last year and immediately losing my mind over the fact that dhawan!master basically reinvented lyctorhood. spydoc are a necro-cav pair from the Fifth House and this tragedy is going exactly where you think it is going (also featuring me straining the torvic affair thru a 13-shaped sieve and then re-straining it thru a tlt-shaped sieve, state-sanctioned codependency, and canon-typical memes, ruth!doctor and yaz are also going to feature when i get back to writing this thing). if you, too, are haunted by all the ways dhawan!master ends up emulating + recreating all of the worst excesses of gallifrey's founders despite the fact that he despises them so much and love trainwrecks as much as i do then u should read this and yell at me to finish it

tagging @birdybirdnerd bc i kno u write a lot BUT if anyone else wants to pick this meme up then pls do, we should all be more insufferable about our own work LMAO

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Captain Fuegoleon, if you could switch attributes with another Magic Knight Captain, whose attribute would you want? And why?

Good evening Mrs. Faust,

I am happy to hear from you and trust that you are well.

In regards of your question, it most certainly is an interesting one, because as we all know, each person is bound to their affinity since birth. But if we suppose that such a spell or a curse would exist, that people would be able to switch their affinities with someone else, and I was forced to switch mine with someone else, one should consider many factors.

For one, I assume for the sake of this question that the person, with whom I switch attributes, would receive mine in turn. Fire magic is at worst highly volatile and thus should be trusted with someone who holds the utmost control of their mana to avoid injuries. Naturally, as we're discussing my fellow Captains, I trust that they'd all be more than capable of this.

As for myself, I suppose the most readily governable would be an affinity would be alike mine, but as I don't think any of them are quite comparable, I shall not consider it as a major factor. Each of them, I'm sure, would pose various challenges, on the grounds of them indeed being different from my own affinity.

But I regret to say that I bear no personal interest in plant based affinities, even if they are to be held in the highest regard as well. Lady Roselei for one has proven herself to hold exquisite talent and strength, but I can't claim to hold fondness for the affinity objectively. She herself, however, is worthy of reverence and praise.

On the other hand Captain Jack has showcased his affinity in a more straightforward light, which is why I can't say that I have it easy imagining his affinity to hold various nuances at first glance, which is why I, personally, cannot say his affinity to be of interest to me either.

However, Captain Unsworth's affinity is perhaps among the most complex, given how her magic is able to create a plane that is separate from ours. This, I'm sure would serve a lot of challenges and aspects to explore. Her affinity, I believe, would be most interesting.

Young Lord Boismortier's affinity is creative, but the manner in which it is creative is based on one's own sense of creativity, and thus, I cannot say that I'd be a prime candidate for his affinity either, for I would not consider myself as a free spirit.

Lord Silva's and Lord Granvorka's affinites would also require a great deal of concentration and precision, I'm certain, although they'd be different kinds most likely. This is due to Lord Granvorka's affinity being a vortex, the movement of which is rotational and Lord Silva's which holds both components of water's flow and steel's strength. They would give insight into various ways of controlling one's mana, or so I believe.

Captain Yami's affinity is very different from mine, and I can't say that I'd be certain as to how it operates. Fire produces light as a byproduct, which is perhaps why I feel Captain Yami's affinity to be among the most educational for myself. And I believe that he'd be more than capable of keeping Fire magic under control as previously stated.

Thus, perhaps I ought to list Captain Unsworth's and Captain Yami's affinities most educational and personally interesting for myself, but if I was forced to choose between the two, I feel inclined to choose Captain Yami's due to Dream Magic seemingly being something that crosses planes, at least to an extent, which surely would hold aspects that one ought to prepare for in advance. In addition, in case Dream Magic would cause me to sleep as much Captain Unsworth, I cannot claim to be able to work quite as efficiently as while awake, which would place a burden onto my entire squad.

In conclusion, if I had to switch affinities with someone, I would switch mine with Captain Yami's because it would be educational.

Thank you for the question Mrs. Faust. I hope you deem the answer satisfactory.

Best regards,

[myowngametales]

Life is Strange Retrospective

Welcome! Welcome! Internet nomad. This is My Own Game Tales, and today, we are looking back at the entire Life is Strange series. Now, my history with the games. My first experience of this game involved Game Theory Live. I saw Matt Pat play this game one day. I didn’t spend that much time watching. The only scene I saw was early on in episode 1. Now, before I talk about every game and other media, I will state that this retrospective will be spoiler free as much as possible. I just think that narrative games rely on the story. It wouldn’t be fair to ruin the story. Reviews in my eyes should only encourage or discourage players from playing.

I will be uploading spoiler reviews in the future though. Mainly because I want to talk and dissect the story elements. Now, I am going to run down every Life is Strange piece of media I am going to review. I will start with the original life is strange, then before the storm, followed by the graphic novels, then Welcome to Blackwell Book, the demo The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit, then Life is Strange 2, True Colors and finally Steph’s Story novel. Outside of the Life is Strange games, I will discuss the game Tell Me Why since many fans treat this game as a part of the series.

Now, I have zero experience with the original game. I bought the remastered version on the Switch. At first, I was only going to play the first game. Since the only way to buy the game on the switch included the prequel, I decided to play both. After the great stories, I immediately bought true colors. Then, I found out that Life is Strange 2 exists.I bought the game twice. I fully played it on the PS4 then the switch port was released and I decided to buy that one too just because I wanted the full series at my fingertips.

Now, what makes a Life is Strange game? Usually, it entails a power that one of the main characters have and choices, and music. Every Life is Strange game has a great soundtrack. Most moments are paired well with a song that really creates atmosphere and mood.

So let’s begin my first retrospective with the Original Life is Strange Remastered.

Max and Chloe investigate the disappearance of a close friend to Chloe named Rachel. Max and Chloe were childhood friends that parted ways and a twist of fate brought them back together. Max learns she has the power to turn back time. This game is centered on choices. While the story doesn’t really change much, your choices impact dialogue and how certain scenes play out. There is a part of the game where your previous choices could lead to a very divide in the story. I am not going to spoil it, but that decision made me want to replay the game to alter the events.The main mechanic of time travel really allows the gameplay to not feel just like a point and click adventure. This game probably has my favorite gameplay in the series followed by True Colors.

The story has some great twists and turns. I did not see any of it coming. Do not play the prequel until you have played the first game once. The collectibles in this game are photos. Max has a great interest in photography. My main criticism of this game is the ending. Basically, none of your choices matter when it comes to how the game ends. It is a fifty-fifty choice which ending you pick. It kinda kills the point of the tagline this action will have consequences. What I like about this game that the other life is strange games don’t have is the ability to change almost every choice you make. You will only get to see the immediate reaction and then you could rewind time. This is great. It doesn’t ruin the option of your choice because the long term effects won’t happen until much later in the game.

Life is Strange Before the Storm

This game is the only Life is Strange game without a power. I feel like they didn’t want Chloe and Rachel to have powers because Chloe kinda fangirls out about Max’s power, so having a power in context to the first game wouldn't work. What I would do would be give Rachel a hidden power that she doesn’t share with Chloe. In fact, I think Rachel should have the power to read minds. It would be hidden enough that Chloe might not catch on.

At last, the game’s true mechanic is the backtalk sequence. Basically, Chloe roasts or convinces people by a string of dialogue. This mechanic is very strict though. Basically, you have to choose a reply based on the previous dialogue. I only failed one late in the game but some only give you a couple mistakes before you lose the argument.

I love the story of Rachel and Chloe. It is cool to see the relationship between the two that the first game only alluded to. I kinda wished the ending didn’t nearly spoil the twist in one. Because many newcomers to the series might want to play the prequel to understand the story before one.

Life is Strange graphic novels

Max and Chloe feature in a graphic novel series. Based on one of the two endings from the first game, Max’s adventures after the first game aren't necessary to read. This novel is only for people who really liked the game and wanted to know what happened next. Many fans don’t see this as canon since it locks-in one ending to be official. I bought a collection of six graphic novels. It includes a new character that has his own power The comics also explain that every decision from the game plays out in its own universe. The story revolves around time travel and dimension hopping. It also teases True Colors by adding a prequel story that introduces Alex Chen and her powers.

Welcome to Blackwell Book

This book is not necessary reading. It helps seeing exchanges between Rachel, Chloe and Max. Some other characters join less frequently. If you’re a big fan, maybe check it out. The artwork is cool to look at, but it tries to be two parts, art book and flavor text for the series. I don’t think it does a great job at either of those things.

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit

Now, this is a short demo for Life is Strange 2. I still think as a standalone game it works. Basically, you play as Chistopher, a character you met in the second episode. My one complaint about the demo is it should give a warning that interacting with your father will end the demo at one point. True Colors had this feature when it replicated the open ended game design that Captain Spirit had. I was kinda confused when I saw the checklist of objectives and how it wasn’t really used in Life is Strange 2. I thought the demo was hinting at a more open experience in the sequel which brings us to Life is Strange 2.

Life is Strange 2

This game is one of the best in the series. I felt like my choices really mattered when it came to the ending. Basically, this game centers on two brothers and the way you treat your brother changes which endings you could get. This game has split the fan base. I believe it is better than Before the Storm. It also changes depending on your choice in Life is Strange 1. This game is also a stand-alone story. You don't need to play first to experience this game.

Life is Strange True Colors

This game and Before the Storm was developed by Deck Nine. I feel like Deck Nine learned so much from Don't Nod who made 1 and 2. I feel like they saw Life is Strange 2 and made a game that could stand up with the best of Don't Nod.

This game has great collectibles. Each one gives more story context. I miss most of them in the game since the game doesn't do a great job at introducing them so I missed almost all of them on the first playthrough. The gameplay is awesome. There are parts that feel like Life is Strange 2 demo where it is open-ended.

The story is great. The power is really interesting where the main character could feel others' emotions.

Life is Strange Steph’s Story and Wavelengths

I decided to review both Steph’s Story and Wavelengths as one. I got the audiobook of Steph’s Story which is great because the voice actress lends her voice to the book. It is a great novel. I liked how it explores her past relationship which is alluded to in wavelengths. I love how these and graphic novels bridge the gap in time between True Colors and Before the Storm. Steph is a minor character in Before the Storm. This book and dlc really brings insight and makes it so Steph is the only character I would consider in True Colors. This book includes the first trans character in the Life is Strange universe and I believed they may have handled the subject better than Tell Me Why. Talking about Tell Me Why here we go and review.

Tell Me Why

Don't Nod Entertainment made their last Life is Strange game with two. Tell Me Why is basically a Life is Strange game at heart. You play as twins who have the power to communicate in their heads and recall memories from childhood.

Tyler is a trans male. One of the first triple A games to include a trans character as one of the protagonists. At first, I prayed this wouldn’t be an awful representation for a trans character. Luckily, Don’t Nod did their research and made a believable character that understands the plight and struggles of being trans.

The puzzles are the best in the series. Most of them focus on a book that their mother wrote for them. I feel so stupid for playing the game because I used a guide. These puzzles aren't hard but they are usually my least favorite parts of Life is Strange. I will replay the game blind once I forget the solutions.

The collectibles are these cool models of monsters that tie into the childhood stories that the main characters shared with their mom.

The story is one of the best for Don't Nod. I wished the choices played more in the story. I feel like most choices just lead to more or less information which is why Tell Me Why is the title of the game. You are searching for answers.

That concludes my first thoughts on the series as a whole. I will be posting spoiler reviews in the future. I am going to alternate between a Life is Strange game and another game tale. In the meantime, play life is strange. It is one of my favorite game series outside of nintendo.

[anonymousfiction211]

Can i get a “smuffy“ oneshot of loki being jealous of y/n’s new celebrity crush? She was so obsessed with her crush she bought several merch and collected every single photo of him. And when she was watching his movie, she was so into him that loki couldn’t handle it anymore and demonstrated who is her “real crush“ is

A/N: Smuffy, still in love with that word! Hope you like it :)

Warnings: Smut, dom!Loki, edging, almost use of safeword The wrong crush ‘Ugh, we really have to watch that movie?’ Loki complained.

‘Pleeease’ you whined.

Loki just grumbled something under his breath, probably insulting your favourite actor. But you didn’t hear it, being too busy to find the DVD and put it in de DVD-player. The intro of the movie started, instead of cuddling with Loki you went to grab a sweater in the bedroom. Loki frowned when you entered the living room and saw you wearing your grey sweater with a sparrow on it. ‘My spirit will live on’ the text said.

‘You know I can keep you warm, right?’ he sneered.

‘I know, the sweater just feels comfortable’ you argued while sitting next to Loki. He had is arms crossed and there was space between the two of you. You didn’t notice, already wrapped up in the movie. The two of you watched the movie in silence for a while.

‘How about…’ Loki started, wanting to suggest to make some popcorn.

‘Shhh.. this is a good part’ you interrupted before he could finish. This was the moment Captain Jack Sparrow escaped while saying ‘You will always remember this day as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow’. Loki sighed and just rolled his eyes. He got off the couch and started to make the popcorn anyway.

‘Can I use your phone for the timer? I left mine in the bedroom’ he asked.

You handed over your phone ‘Sure’ you said. When he unlocked your phone, he was greeted by a shirtless Captain Jack Sparrow.

‘Seriously’ he asked while showing you your own photo background.

‘What, you don’t like that photo? I have more’ you said.

Grabbing the phone for Loki, you showed him some of the other pictures you had. Even some of Johnny Depp himself. He was hot and he had style, something Loki surely could appreciate you thought. Loki watched the many photos. ‘Which one would you choose?’ you asked.

‘I just have the photo of us in Norway as my background’ he reacted. He grabbed your phone and put the timer on. The two of you went back to watching the movie. When the timer went off Loki served the popcorn with your favourite drink. You kissed his cheek quickly ‘Thanks’ you said.

‘You’re welcome’ he said. Wrapping an arm around your waist he pulled you closer. He started to kiss you neck, your weak spot. Normally you would drop everything and kiss him back, but not now. You really wanted to watch the movie, your favourite movie with your favourite actor, on whom you have been crushing hard...

‘Can it wait?’ you asked while pushing Loki back a bit. Oblivious to the anger on his face, you continued to watch the movie.

Completely ignoring him, Loki had enough. ‘Why do you even like him so much?’ he asked.

‘A dark-haired bad boy, who is also good sometimes, and super hot? What’s not to like?’ you responded. Figuring Loki would have the same feeling with Captain Jack Sparrow, or Johnny Depp.

‘Alright, THAT’S IT’ Loki growled. He switched off the TV and grabbed you around your waist. Lifting you in one smooth motion. You yelped in surprise.

‘Loki what are you doing?’ you yelled at him.

Ignoring you he opened the bedroom door and threw you on the bed. ‘Reminding you that I’m still here’ he growled. A knife appeared in his hand. You swallowed hard, knowing you were in trouble right now. ‘What’s wrong darling? I though you liked a bad boy’ he sneered.

‘Loki, you know I..’ you stared but he cut you off by placing his hand across your mouth. He started to slice your clothes from your body. You wanted to protest when he cut your hoodie, but he didn’t let you. You squirmed, trying to free yourself from his grip. Loki didn’t let you, but was sure not to cut you.

When you were naked beneath him he smiled widely. ‘That’s much better, don’t you think?’ he teased. Loki pulled his hand from your mouth.

‘Loki, you don’t have to be..’ you started

‘Say one other word, and I swear I will tie you up, make you come repeatedly, until the only thing you can remember is my name’ he threatened whispering in your ear. Before you could react he grabbed your hands and intertwined then with his. Pinning your hands down beside your head he kissed you deeply, desperately. When you melted into him, he retracted his hands and started to roam your body. Massaging your breasts and pinching your nipples. He smirked when you arched your back and moaned.

‘Good girl, tell me what are you thinking?’ he whispered in your ear.

‘I’m thinking about how good your cock would feel inside of me’ you whispered, blushing a bit.

‘Hmm, too bad. You really haven’t earned it, darling’ he said while taking one of your breasts in his mouth. Teasing the nipple with his tongue, you went with your hands through his hair. He slightly bared his teeth and bit your nipple, making you lay completely still while he did what he wanted.

Trailing his kisses lower you opened your legs for him. But he didn’t pay attention to the part that you wanted to. He kissed your folds, your thighs and threw you legs around his shoulder. He took his time kissing and marking you, but ignored your throbbing clit.

‘You know how annoying it is. Hearing you talk about him constantly, seeing you wear his symbol, the pictures on your phone’ Loki growled Loki.

‘Loki, it’s just a crush’ you argued, trying not to let your frustration show.

‘The wrong crush’ he snapped back.

Pushing two fingers inside of you without warning you cried out in pleasure. Loki put his mouth on your clit and started to suck and nibble at it. You arched your back and pushed forward for more friction. Right before you could come, he stopped and retracted his fingers. You whimpered and felt your orgasm eb away. Loki started to kiss your stomach and trailed his kisses upwards. When your breathing had returned to its normal rhythm he kissed you.

‘His name?’ Loki asked.

‘Eh.. do you mean Jack Sparrow or Johnny Depp?’ you asked unsure where he was going with this.

Loki growled and pinned your arms above your head. With one hand he started to slowly circle your clit, sometimes entering you and trace his fingers against your g-spot. He stopped when your walls started do clench around his fingers.

‘Name?’ he asked again.

‘Jack – Jack Sparrow?’ you whimpered.

Loki shimmered his clothes away. You didn’t have time to admire his body. In one quick motion he flipped your around and spanked you hard. You cried out in pain, but the sting felt pleasurable. He put his full weight on your back, making you immobile. He smoothed over the place where he spanked you and you hissed in pain. He nibbled on your earlobe and snaked one hand back to your clit. This time he went really slow, making your squirm under him. He chuckled darkly when he felt your little movements, trying to create more friction. Right before you came he stopped again. It was starting to get painful.

‘Name?’ he said.

‘Jack - I.. Loki, please’ you begged.

He bit in your neck, leaving a mark with his teeth. Almost piercing the skin. Tears were forming in your eyes from the pain. You almost yelled your safeword, but he retracted his teeth. You were panting heavily and sweat was beginning to form. Still, Loki was not convinced.

Flipping you back around he tied your hands to the headboard. You struggled for a bit, but against Loki’s strength it was useless. When your hands were tied he tied your legs down too, so you were laying in a x-shape. He grabbed the magic wand from the drawer in the nightstand and you knew what he was doing. He edged you for what felt like an eternity. Right before you came, he asked for the name. You wanted to lie, but there was not lying to Loki. It would only make things worse. He continued this sweet torture until you were almost sobbing, your mind felt fractured and it was hard to think straight.

‘Name?’ he asked when you felt another orgasm eb away. It was becoming hard to answer.

Loki lazily stimulated your clit ‘Answer me’ he growled. ‘NAME’

‘L- Loki’ you whimpered.

He slowly picked up the pace. ‘Name’ he said again.

‘Loki’ you moaned.

He threw the magic wand across the room and slid inside of you the next moment. You came immediately on his cock. He didn’t give you time to recover ands tarted to pound into you. His tongue was playing with your breasts and you were moaning his name like a mantra. When he put his fingers down on your sensitive clit you cried out hard. The pleasure was incredible and your eyes rolled back in your head. You didn’t even feel Loki’s thrusting anymore, or the moment he came.

Your mind was swarming, not able to form a coherent thought. The only thing you remembered was Loki. It took some time, but you got down from your high. You heard Loki softly whispering in your ear how much he loved you. Feeling his arms wrapped around you, you realized you were in one of his sweaters. You felt warm and safe in his arms.

‘Are you okay, darling?’ Loki asked when he noticed you were coming back to earth.

‘Hmm’ you hummed.

‘Words, love’ he reacted.

‘Yes, I’m okay. Just tired’ you answered.

Loki stood up and pulled you in his arms. You clung onto him as close as you could. He walked you back to the living room and sat you down next to him. You nuzzled against him, making a smile appear on his face.

‘I’m thirsty’ you said.

The next moment your Jack Sparrow-mug appeared on the table, filled with juice, and the movie started to play again. You nuzzled closer and kissed his cheek.

‘You know that it’s just a stupid crush and that I love you, right?’ you asked him.

‘I know. It’s just difficult sometimes to have you swooning over him’ Loki said.

‘I swoon way more over you’ you said back while climbing onto his lap.

Loki just kissed your temple and held you close against him. He stroked your legs and arms while the two of you watched the movie. You didn’t know when exactly, but you fell asleep. The next morning you awoke in your bed, smelling eggs and bacon. You grabbed your phone, which was on the charger on your nightstand. You put the screen on to check the time, and were greeted by a shirtless photo of Loki.

Permanent tag list: @delightfulheartdream @the-best-phineas @theaudacitytowrite @pescadoavocado @theestorm

[aminiatureworld]

Affection

Characters: Albedo, Beidou, Keqing, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,705

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: Sometime we know something is impossible from the start. But still we walk towards it, even if we know it will hurt us. It’s only flirting, only a smile or a hug or some food. Even if nothing comes of it, there is nothing to regret. Even if it hurts.

In which the reader gives affection, expecting nothing in return.

Author’s Note: More “new” characters! I’ve been neglecting Keqing and Beidou, they deserve some love. I hope as always their characterizations live up to expectations! This was very fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it!

I couldn’t tell whether to make this melancholy or fluffy, so I guess I half-and-half-ed it. Best of both worlds, right? Although the tone feels definitely lighter.

Albedo

Your friends never could figure out why you were flirting with Albedo.

“That alchemist has nothing on his mind but work,” one of them once told you, “he’ll never reciprocate your feelings you know.”

“I know.” You’d replied, smiling the sort of smile people put on when they’re trying to show they’re not annoyed. “I know he doesn’t like me in that way, you don’t have to tell me.”

“Then why are you doing it?”

“Because I want to.” You’d shrugged, shifting the conversation to some other topic. In all honesty, it wasn’t as if your friend was lying. But neither were you, not really. There wasn’t any good explanation for why you were flirting with Albedo after all. You knew that he’d never take it seriously, knew you weren’t good enough for it anyways. Maybe that’s why you flirted with him. Maybe it was better to make the slightest fool of yourself than drive yourself mad thinking about something that could never be.

So you continued on your merry, if slightly self-destructive way. Every time you saw Albedo, which was quite a bit considering the fact you were often posted around Dragonspine and spent a lot of your free time in the square right outside his office, you ran his way, asking him what he was doing, or telling him about your own day. You’d developed this habit of leaning in a bit whenever he spoke to you, and the slight pause he gave as his smile grew wider whenever you did made your heart soar.

Not that you ever started thinking there was ever a chance. I mean, come on. Albedo was Albedo and you were you. There was a great deal of distance between the two of you, as if you were standing on opposite sides of a bridge which was liable to fall at any moment. You could shout across at each other, but never did you attempt to walk over to him, knowing it’d surely result in disaster.

Still, why did you flirt with Albedo? The question sort of haunted you at times. You enjoyed his company, you’d even told him you enjoyed his company. He’d smiled his sedate smile, pausing for a moment to look away from the painting he was working on. “I enjoy your company too.” He’d said, before turning back to his work. It was a quiet, calm, even sort of response, just the sort you’d expected. And yet you kept going, and though you made no attempt to push the boundaries or go any farther, you still wondered at times what the point of it was.

Perhaps following that line of thought was a bit dangerous. You found the more you asked yourself what you expected out of your closeness with Albedo, the more absent you seemed to be. It wasn’t as if you were trying to avoid him or anything, no quite the contrary. It was only that you tended to want to be alone when you were thinking about something like this. Reaching out was hard, especially to the person who you were thinking about.

“Are you alright?” You glanced up from the lunch you were pondering over to see Albedo leaning over you. Feeling your cheeks redden you jumped slightly.

“Albedo! Oh I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying any attention to my surroundings! Sit down!” You gestured vaguely to the spot on the bench next to you. Albedo smiled politely, sitting down as directed. He seemed to sober however once he was sitting, scanning your face for something, though you weren’t sure what that something was.

“You seem… absent recently, I was wondering if something was the matter.”

“Oh, I’m perfectly fine!” You shook your hands out in front of you. “I guess I’ve just been sort of busy recently, or maybe a little tired I guess. You know that the festival is coming up, right? Well Acting Grand Master Jean is really running us ragged! But I promise I’ll be back to normal soon!” You laughed awkwardly; it wasn’t as if you weren’t telling the truth per se, just… not the whole truth. But you’d rather not put all your troubles on Albedo, not when he was reaching out to see if you were okay. Smiling once more you attempted to switch topics. “How’s your research? Have you found something new while I’ve been gone?”

“Yes, I’ve begun to study the reaction between macrophage and eukaryotic cells in contrast with prokaryotic cells, and how adding elemental effects to reactions either speeds up or slows down the reaction. But I’m glad to hear you’re alright,” Albedo seemed to relax a bit, leaning backwards slightly on the bench, “everything has been much quieter with you gone. It’s unnatural, I can’t focus as well. I keep finding myself distracted by little things. I look forward to participating in our conversations once more.”

“Well I’ll be there soon!” You promised, heart fluttering slightly. Did he really mean that? I mean sure, it didn’t mean anything more than what was on the tin. Your situation hadn’t changed that much. Still, it meant something to you that Albedo wasn’t just tolerating your presence, that he was actually somewhat involved in your friendship. “I promise I’ll have some very interesting topics of conversation when I come back.”

“Good.” Albedo nodded once more before smiling slightly sheepishly. “My workspace is currently going through a cleaning and the lab isn’t supposed to let any foreign substances in in; would you mind terribly if I ate with you?”

“Not at all!” You responded. “I love spending my free time with you. What have you brought?”

Why did you flirt with Albedo? Why did you seek out his presence despite you and everyone around you knowing full well that it was never going to come to anything? What did you even think of Albedo? Well you could answer that last one at least. You loved him. You loved him very much. And even if he didn’t reciprocate the way you did, even if your friends told you it was pointless and your mind chastised you for putting yourself through the ringer, even if all that was true, you weren’t going to stop. Because you were Albedo’s friend and he was yours. And for now that was enough.

Even if a part of you continued to hope that one day this would change.

 Beidou

Beidou was utterly out of your league and you knew it.

It wasn’t exactly a difficult conclusion to come to after all. Brash, outspoken, good with a sword, Beidou embodied that sort of restless, self-reliant spirit you wish you yourself could emanate.

It didn’t hurt that Beidou had essentially rescued you from destitution, having found you languishing in a corner of one of the seedier docks of Liyue, and having taken you in quickly after the fact. You owed her a great deal, and was glad to do so. After all you’d fallen hopelessly in love with Beidou.

Life aboard a slightly illegal ship was bound to be an intimate one. Everyone knew everything about everyone else, and it was very difficult to find someone that hadn’t heard about your crush. Someone who wasn’t Beidou, that was. Although it wasn’t like you attempted to hide it; you just never brought it out in the open. And who could blame you? How could anyone who’d nearly died of starvation waiting for some sort of divine help compare to the bravest captain you’d ever met?

So you two settled into a routine of sorts, at least in your mind. You ate every meal as close to her as possible, something which had been difficult at first but as the “secret” spread around became almost comically easy, you discussed your plans with her first, gave her various trinkets you’d found in your travels, asked her opinions about your weapon then asked her to train with you. The training sessions had almost killed your resolve not to tell her, nothing was so intimate as having someone constantly checking your posture, moving and arm here a leg there, closely monitoring how you moved and acted.

All the while you said nothing. It felt selfish after all to even think about it. Beidou had many a time told her crew that they were one big family. On top of the obviously platonic motives behind her love for you, you weren’t about to impose on the crew by trying to take the spot as favorite or partner. It’d make you feel sleazy.

But damn if sometimes your resolve wasn’t tempted. It was the night after a particularly successful raid, and everyone was drunk out of their minds. Even you were tipsy, although compared to the rest you were positively sober. Sitting next to Beidou, who was walking up and down the tables making speeches of various levels of comprehensibility, you thanked the archons above that this woman had saved you. It was all worth the pain and suffering, if only to see her smile, which was blinding at the moment.

“You were brave, my dear compatriots! Distinguished! Honored! Positively courageous!” Beidou let out a slight “hic”, her vocabulary always did turn a bit grand when she drank too much. “Indeed, I’m sure not even the greatest of emperors had an army which could rival the visage of our band of brothers! Storming the deck, why we all might’ve perished! Damned visions, they’re for cheaters! For fraudsters! You all fight without them, and in doing so you prove yourself far more valiant, far more exemplary than they do!” Evidently Beidou had forgotten she herself was a vision wielder. Then again, so had everyone else.

“On this night of victory, of perilous and prestigious triumph, I wish to congratulate the greatest of warriors! This! My proverbial right hand man, the distinguished…” Beidou turned around towards you, gesturing in a very flamboyant sort of manner. You stood there, shocked by the sudden attention, blushing deeply, brain so filled with awe that you only half realized Beidou couldn’t remember your name.

“Yes! This person, this noble scalawag!” Beidou lifted you up so you were standing next to her, archons was she strong. “Now I don’t believe in laws, but if I did I’d marry them I would! You all ought to be more like them, mark my words I want to see some shaping up! There are no levels on this ship, but if there were they’d be higher than you all! Pay attention to my words, they are final!” And with that, speech apparently over, Beidou planted a soft, if slightly messy, kiss on your cheek.

If it weren’t for the people around you, you might’ve fainted.

The next day announced itself with a headache, though as the least hungover of the group you were put in charge of dishing out the medicine and water. The whole ship appeared to be groaning, and though the crew was usually quite active and excited at almost any hour of the day, you could tell that most of the men and women just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep.

“Captain wants to see you when you’re done with your rounds.” There were a few other people helping you out, and the one that informed you about this raised an eyebrow as you promptly turned white as a sheet, before a splotchy shade of red covered your face. What was she going to say? Had she remembered what had happened the night before? You admitted to yourself that maybe banking on Beidou forgetting was a doomed cause from the start. Beidou was perhaps brash and a lover of alcohol, but her memory was sharp, and she somehow managed to never drink herself to total incompetence. If you challenged a drunk Beidou to a duel your chances were going to be about the same as if you’d challenged her sober. Hell maybe they’d be even worse. With that grim thought in mind you distributed the last of the medicine, wiping your hands needlessly on your clothes before walking towards the captain’s cabins.

You loved Beidou’s cabins, they somehow seemed both incredibly grand and inexplicably homey. With furniture made out of a plush and luxurious red sort of material, it was nonetheless crowded by knickknacks; drawings, carvings, and other such paraphernalia littered the shelves and the dressers. Beidou had once told you almost all of it was from current or former shipmates. The luxuries they stole had no use in her home.

“Captain Beidou?” You ventured. The captain was at her desk, scribbling out something, probably a plan. She loved to plan in her free time, whether or not the plan was something doable or a total fantasy. Now she looked up, setting her pen down and smiling her classic, cocky grin.

“Ah, my favorite shipmate. How’re we feeling today?”

“W-well!” You managed to get out, a bit distracted by the nickname. Ah, it seemed she had remembered at least part of it. “Um, captain, I was told you wanted to see me.”

“Yes, I did. I’ve been thinking since last night, thinking a great deal, and I was wondering, what would you think to becoming my partner, in a, well, romantic sort of sense.”

“So suddenly?” You replied, eyes widening but nevertheless cracking a smile. Beidou’s confession had been blunt, devoid of all the usual flourishes. And yet it was what you wanted, what you’d always wanted.

“Well why not?” Beidou shrugged nonchalantly. “After all considering how you’ve been acting towards me for the past few months, I figured why not become my partner. Unless I’ve been reading you wrong of course.”

“No!” You exclaimed. “I mean yes, I mean, well yes to the first and no to the second. I’d love to become your partner, and you haven’t been reading me wrong.” Your gaze dropped to the floor. “I just figured I wasn’t good enough. I mean you’re… you. And besides, you said we were all a family. I figured you wouldn’t want me as a partner.”

Beidou raised her eyebrow slightly as her smile melted into a smirk. Shaking her head slightly she approached you, raising your gaze every so slightly. “Well I can tell you right now I’m not too good for you. Not only are you good with a weapon, but you’re about as tough and fearless as they come. I don’t want to hear about how you’re secretly scared or whatnot. Everyone is that doesn’t matter. But you fight well and without second thought. And I admire that. And as for the speech about family, well a romantic partner is family of some kind. Besides the crew won’t mind, they’ve been talking about it for ages.”

“I guess they have.” You blushed; apparently Beidou hadn’t been as uninformed as you thought.

“Any last words before you’re my partner?” Beidou’s smile was as wide as you’d ever seen it and just as infectious; you grinned back.

“I love you.”

“Good. Now,” Beidou smiled, planting a soft kiss on your cheek and then a peck on your lips – something which left you grasping for coherent thought “let’s tell the others.”

 Keqing

Working with Keqing was an experience akin to slowly dying inside.

You’d become somewhat enamored with the Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing ever since you’d first met her. Her brusque and honest manner was refreshing, and when listening to her talk about the archons, about Liyue, about how the past and the present tied together, you never really seemed to question her. She always gave off the impression of intelligence, and, unlike some others you’d met, she had the brains to back it up. And what could you say? Before you knew it you had a crush on her.

Yet working with her showed other sides of Keqing too. She was very self-conscious when it came to compliments. Not that she minded them per se, as one time you’d asked her if your constant praise was a bother. “I just never know how to respond.” She’d admitted, and to be fair you understood that. But as long as she told you she liked them you’d compliment her.

Of course you knew it could never go beyond that. Keqing was your coworker; she was your superior in almost every way, both in occupation and in character. She never lost her cool or found herself off guard when fighting treasure hoarders or when dealing with rowdy citizens. She was efficient, capable, and aware of her incredible abilities. And she didn’t feel the need for a partner, something she had told you every time someone else worked up the courage to ask her out. You couldn’t bring yourself to impose on her like they did, not when you knew what her answer would be.

It was a slightly disheartening existence, and indeed sometimes you wondered what the point of it was, wondered if you shouldn’t just quit. But that wouldn’t be fair, not to Liyue, and not to Keqing herself. She relied upon the other members of the Liyue Qixing  to work efficiently and without sudden disruption. And the sudden quitting of someone who was hardly at the bottom of the ranks would’ve certainly done just that.

Besides, Keqing was first and foremost your friend. It was a bit of a fragile friendship, yes, but it was friendship nonetheless; and you valued that friendship well above your own infatuation. If you had to bottle your feelings up so be it. You owed it to Keqing to keep it together, to not impose on her what she obviously didn’t want and to not punish her for it by drawing away. So it hurt, so what? A lot of things hurt, doesn’t mean they aren’t worth doing or experiencing. And this was certainly one of those things.

It was late evening, and most of the cubicles were dark. You sat, writing the last few sentences of a report, trying to ignore the headache that had been developing since earlier that day. A friend had attempted to set you up on a blind lunch date, and though you appreciated their motive the whole thing had been a chore, and now you were late on your work.

“Almost done?” Keqing’s voice broke through your mental grumblings. Looking up at her you nodded, and Keqing smiled in satisfaction. “Good. Can’t have one of our best workers getting sick on account of working too hard.”

“I won’t get sick.” You assured her. Finally stamping the paper you let out a sigh leaning back in your chair.

“A difficult day?”

“You could say that,” you admitted, “a friend went on a slightly appreciated but incredibly unnecessary mission to get me to go out on a date. Honestly, I’d rather her just treat me to lunch.”

“I can understand the feeling.” Keqing frowned in sympathy. “People are too obsessed with the idea of romance, so much so it blinds them. There are more important things in this world.”

“I’d say most people consider love pretty important.” You commented. Keqing shook her head in response.

“Perhaps, but aren’t ideals better than individual wishes? Romance may be fun, perhaps, but there are other things to consider. Besides, I find your company far more enjoyable than I would any date.”

“You do?” You responded, heart fluttering slightly; you hoped Keqing didn’t notice the blush spreading across the bridge of your nose and coloring your cheeks. Luckily it was slightly dark in the office.

“Oh certainly,” Keqing waved her hand dismissively, “you’re the best coworker and friend I’ve ever had. No significant other could give me advice like you do, or help me so much when I’m struggling with work or with my thoughts, and dates are so formal and boring and awkward compared to spending an afternoon with you. Really I’m perfectly content relationship wise with our friendship. Relationships are full of pitfalls, people keeping this little thing from their partner, or omitting that little act. No, better to have an open and supportive friendship like we do.”

“I’m glad you think so.” You replied, and really you did. You’d known since day one that a romantic relationship was off the table. So if you could stay by Keqing’s side and support her, if only a little longer, then you’d be perfectly content.

Even if a part of you still wished that things could’ve been different.

 Zhongli

To be fair to Zhongli you weren’t sure how much he understood of any type of human relationship. The fact that the Geo Archon had befriended you in the first place was an achievement in itself.

And yet he had befriended you, and soon you’d found yourself falling in love with the slightly aloof, slightly out of touch geo archon. Zhongli was much more than that of course. Surprisingly open, the ex-deity took to finding out information about humanity with zeal. Always eager to ask you questions and to hear about how your day had gone or how you felt after something particularly happy or sad or gratifying, Zhongli had morphed into a pseudo confidante for you. Someone you found yourself relying on more and more. His gentle nature didn’t hurt either, or his looks for that matter; all in all Zhongli seemed like the perfect sort of person, and though you knew that you’d never be able to measure up to an archon, you found yourself unable to suppress the overwhelming love you felt for him.

Zhongli didn’t seem to mind your openness at all, indeed he sort of relished it, or at least he seemed to. Every time you reached out to grab his hand he gladly slipped it into yours, and whenever you ran up and hugged him after a long period of not seeing one another he always hugged you back. He’d eat lunches with you, and sometimes dinners, and sometimes weekends were spent running around Liyue, or at home listening to one another’s stories or reading one another’s books. It’s truly a magical sort of feeling to share a book with someone. But then again with Zhongli everything seemed magical.

Of course affection aside the whole matter never crossed the line of friendship. You never told him of your affections, and in return Zhongli never initiated anything further than conversation. Not that it bothered you; you felt there was a bit of a gap between you and Zhongli. After all surely it was idealization which caused you to recognize that someone like Rex Lapis had no want or inclination towards engaging in a relationship with a mere mortal. Facts are facts, and there’s no changing them, no matter how much you wanted to.

And yet how odd fate is.

“What is being in love like?”

You looked up at Zhongli, trying desperately to act as if you hadn’t felt your heart rate spike to unhealthy levels.

“Uhm… what do you mean what is love like?”

“I’ve noticed mortals are very enamored with love. I have to admit, my experience with romance is minimal; archons and adepti seldom see romance as something that affects them. But I want to know, as a human, what is love like to you?” There was no mockery or sense of superiority in Zhongli’s face. Not that you expected there to be. Zhongli never looked down upon humans as unequal. Many times he’d told you he admired them. Taking a breath you thought of your answer.  

“Well… hmm. Love is very different for everyone. To some love is like an inferno; it’s very sudden and very intense. It sort of burns them up, it’s all they think about. I think that’s less love, more infatuation, but to some that is indeed love. To others love is sort of… staid. It’s being able to rely on them, to talk to them about anything and everything without feeling embarrassed or like you have to put on some sort of show. It’s knowing that there’s someone who will always side with you or help you realize what’s right, or be there when you feel terrible. To them love isn’t passionate, it’s comforting.”

“And to you?” Zhongli interrupted, a look of thoughtfulness on his face.

“Well to me it’s somewhere in the middle, I suppose to most people it’s somewhere in the middle. And this is only romantic love after all. Love is so big, so all encompassing, I think it’s hard to pin down. But to me romantic love is both; it is the passion that causes people to do crazy things and espouse crazy sorts of ideals, and it is the staid comfort of knowing there is someone who will always understand you, and always support you in that understanding.” You paused, realizing you’d been prattling on a bit. “Why, may I ask? Is there a reason you want to know.”

“Yes,” Zhongli admitted, voice slightly less calm than usual. “I, I’ve been thinking about my feelings towards someone a great deal recently; they’ve been alien, although not distressing per se. They feel as if I’m always on some sort of edge, but I don’t feel upset by it. Instead I want to approach it, want to be around the person who makes me feel that way. I wanted to understand that emotion more. I wondered if it was love. Thank you for answering my question, it was most enlightening.”

“That person must be very lucky.” You replied, keeping your tone as light as possible, trying to ignore your emotions, which had risen and dropped so very quickly. “I suppose I’ll have to lay off on the affection now. Part of love is sometimes being a little bit jealous, at least in the beginning, at least for some people. It’s silly, really, but I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that.” Zhongli’s tone was surprisingly wry, as if there was a joke somewhere you’d missed.

“Why?” You asked, brow furrowing slightly.

“Because the person whom I was enquiring about is you.”

Honestly you would’ve been less surprised if Zhongli had told you that he was going to run away from Liyue and join the circus. All you could manage to sputter out was: “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure!” Zhongli chuckled slightly. He raised his hand, gloved fingers ghosting your cheek as he tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear. “I’ve suspected it for some time, but I wanted to be sure. Are you alright with me telling you this?”

Alright? You were over the moon! Had you ever been this happy before? You weren’t sure, but you were happy now.

“Of course it’s alright. Zhongli, I’ve liked you for months now.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Zhongli tilted his head slightly in confusion. You stared down at your hands, slightly embarrassed.

“I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. I mean you’re an archon and I’m a mortal. I’m hardly different from the other people of Liyue, and I just, I don’t know, I was scared of rejection, I was scared you’d think I was overstepping and that our friendship would crumble. And I didn’t think I could stand that.”

At first Zhongli said nothing, instead he held out his hand. You gladly placed your palm in his, comforted by its warmth.

“You shouldn’t hold yourself so cheaply,” Zhongli spoke softly, “there are a great many extraordinary things about you. Your affectionate nature, your determination to live even when the world is dark and dangerous, your willingness to open your heart to some ancient archon who knows little of humans. If that’s not extraordinary, I don’t know what is. I don’t feel towards anyone as I do towards you, at least I haven’t in a long time. So don’t think of yourself that way anymore, please.”

“I won’t.” You replied. And it was true. You knew you wouldn’t be able to, not anymore. Zhongli would make sure of that, already you could tell.

To some love burns like fire in the mind, to other it wraps you up in a blanket of comfort. You felt incredibly lucky, for you despite yourself demanded both, and somehow fate had bestowed it upon you. And for that you would be forever grateful.

[marvelwritings]

A piece of me has disappeared

Summary: By day three, the first doubts set in. He’s convinced Tony is still out looking for him, but putting in the effort doesn’t always guarantee results. These people that abducted him are clever, and they know about his spider abilities. 

or: Peter get's abducted and Tony goes to rescue his son 

Everyone’s sleeping, their breaths loud in the evening quiet. Morgan is in her bed and there’s no doubt that tomorrow at seven am she’ll be up and at ‘em to wake Peter up. Tony and Pepper are across the room of his, their frantic work attitudes finally put to the sleep they so desperately need. Peter is blinking up at his roof in his bedroom, feeling fine, good even, peaceful and sated and most importantly, safe.

Everyone’s sleeping, their breaths loud in the evening quiet. Morgan is in her bed and there’s no doubt that tomorrow at seven am she’ll be up and at ‘em to wake Peter up. Tony and Pepper are across the room of his, their frantic work attitudes finally put to the sleep they so desperately need. Peter is blinking up at his roof in his bedroom, feeling fine, good even, peaceful and sated and most importantly, safe.

Everyone’s sleeping, their breaths loud in the evening quiet and …. The repeats stops working once Peter’s stomach gnaws again, the hunger he’s so gravely experiencing has switched to a whole new level. No longer the petty grumbles of an empty stomach, instead it’s replaced by the need to eat anything, despite Peter’s rationality telling him he can’t. He’s been locked up for at least seven days, but he’s still to sceptic to eat anything his captors offer him. He’s very close to breaking.

He tries to hold on by imagining that he’s at home, but he’s so tired, yet so fitful he won’t close his eyes for more then 10 seconds, and the constant torture is so jarring it hurts worse to imagine home, then be woken up in reality, than to just to be present. Peter wonders if Tony is every going to find him.

The first day, he had no question about it. Tony is scarily determined and protective to anyone who dares come after the people he considers family, Peter got a first row demonstration when some journalist tried to bad mouth Spiderman and he got clocked in the jaw, so Peter knows it’s just a matter of time.

By day three, the first doubts set in. He’s convinced Tony is still out looking for him, but putting in the effort doesn’t always guarantee results. These people that abducted him are clever, and they know about his spider abilities. So much so that they keep him sedated at all times, just enough sedative to keep him conscious, but not too little that he can tap in his superstrength. Peter will never be able to escape on his own.

Maybe if the avengers got called in they were close, but Peter’s not sure Tony would call in people he hasn’t spoken to in a few months, purely to find him. He can hold out hope though.

The third day is also the day his captures, he hasn’t seen any faces so far and the sedative contorts their voices too much to match them to somebody he knows, start with the emotional manipulation. So far, they had stuck to electrocution by tazers and punches applied to any sensitive area of his body, but Peter must not have been broken fast enough for them.

‘You know, you remind me of the stereotypical bad guys in movies, like in kids movies? Do you like kid movies? My favorite is Frozen’, Peter had once babbled in between punches through bitten teeth, trying to keep up his high spirits.

They didn’t like that one bit.

They claim all sort of ridiculous things, like that the Starks paid money for them to have kidnapped him, that Tony never started searching for him, that he might as well give up because no one was coming to fetch him. Peter laughs in their face, witty even in the face of extreme danger. It was still funny to him then. Now, on the evening of the seventh day, he stares unblinking at a wall, only moving when the physical pain becomes too much and he needs an outlet to scream.

‘Please’, he pleads sobbing. If he wasn’t so starved as he was, so mentally vulnerable, he would have been embarrassed. As it stands, Peter’s just so incapable of resisting, he simply gives in.

‘Please stop,’ Peter whimpers. If he had anything to give he’d bargain, but money is tight for May and him, and he has no knowledge of anything avengers related that could be of interest to these people. Mister Stark told him it was for his own safety, so it wouldn’t be used as leverage against him, but in Peter’s warped mind it further adds proof Tony never trusted him.

‘Ahn’, a captor coos, ‘he’s begging already, how cute.’ The voice is distinctly that of a woman’s, but it hold nothing of the warm timbre both aunt May and Pepper possess. He misses them.

The woman slides a hand up in Peter’s hair, and for one confusing moment Peter thinks she’s going to start stroking it, like Tony does, but then she balls her hands into fists and pulls his head aside. The next tazer gets placed in his neck.

‘This wouldn’t be happening if your so beloved mentor would just give up the plans for the new shield initiative, but alas, as long as he doesn’t you’ll be stuck here. The tazzer buzzes to life and Peter seizes up. It’s the so many’th time today, that Peter gives up on holding back, his scream ricochets in the room.

‘Then again, maybe we went after the wrong kid. Maybe we should have taken Tony Starks real kid? The one he actually cares about?’

Tears stumbles down his cheeks and he wishes he could fall back into unconsciousness, but of course life is not that kind. No, he begs inside his head, to warm out to speak. Not Morgan, never Morgan. He’d die before he’d let anything happen to her.

‘What do you think soldier,’ she addresses the second captor in the room, ‘perhaps a phone call would speed Stark along? A sign of life and how close to it being snuffed out the child is? What do you want Peter?’ She asks sickly sweet, as if it’s a regular question and not a taunt.

Still, Peter can’t help but reach out. He longs for one phone call so wholeheartedly. Maybe, maybe he can convince Mister Stark to get him out of this mess. He could promise to do every task Mister Stark ask of him, he could even offer to work for Stark industries until he could pay back the money he’d pay Peter’s kidnappers, anything to get out of here. Peter will do anything.

‘I think he’s agreeing.’ The woman grins, pulling out a burner phone out of her back pocket. She types for several excruciating moments, in which Peter begs to every god listening that Mister Stark will pick up. That he’ll hear Peter out.

‘Hello,’ the woman greets the phone, her smirk so evil Peter’s spider senses warm him to run, fighting through the drugs. ‘I think I have something that belongs to you Stark.’

She lowers the phone to a few inches from Peter’s ear, because Peter is too tied up to hold it on his own. ‘Speak loudly kid.’

The use of the nickname causes shudders to run down Peter’s back. Why can’t he go home?

‘Mister Stark, please help me, I don’t know where I am, but- I want to go home, please mister Stark I-. I’ll do anything you want, just please.’ Peter’s whines gain pitch, until he is nothing but a sobbing mess, barely worth the name Peter Parker, let alone Spiderman.

The phone clicks shut.

‘Whoops, looks like he hung up’, The woman snickers, patting Peter’s cheek with fake compassion. Peter bellows, heaving so severely the nonexistent food he ate threatens to come back up.

He’d never find out the phone was never connected in the first place.

---

By the grace of Peter doesn’t know what, he drops unconscious after the failed phone call to Mister Stark. The sleep is fitful at best, but at least it helps restock his powers. When Peter comes too, there are loud sounds just outside of the room he’s captivated in. He thinks there’s screaming and pleading, but he’s so exhausted he can’t bring himself to care. His hands drop uselessly by his side, his head turned away from the door as he squeezes his eyes shuts.

Why can’t this be over yet?

The door busts of his hinges, the door falls inwards. Immediately, the yellow and red armor, belonging to the iron man suit, rushes in, with the faceplate down. Now that the door is open, or gone more like, It’s clear that all the sounds Peter had been hearing where the scream of his captures. There are many of them, but they’re being taken down one by one.

Peeking aside the Iron man armor, Peter sees a flash of red and blue, and captain America’s shield knocking someone out cold.

‘Kid, kid’, Mister Stark draws his attention in a panic. The faceplate is still down, which means that Mister Stark is either not here, like he wasn’t when the vulture first dropped him into a lake, or he’s assessed the situation and deemed it too dangerous to lower his defenses.

‘You’re okay underoos, we’re getting you out of here.’ With very little effort, Mister Stark snaps restraints on Peter’s wrist and ancles, all the while murmuring under his breath. He’s trying to reassure Peter, but it’s not having any type of effect.

Instead, the comfort causes Peter to burst into tears once more, his body begging for food and pain medication that will make everything stop hurting. He doesn’t care that Mister Stark is doing this out of rightfulness, or maybe out of debt out of some kind that he’s trying to even out, Peter just wants to go home.

Once the restraints are all loose, and Peter is free of them, Mister Stark waits for a tense second, maybe expecting Peter to hob off the table and join the fight or something. That doesn’t happen. Peter lays motionless on the table, looking intensely at the glowing eyes of the iron man suit, maybe trying to convey a message that Mister Stark can’t decipher.

‘Come on Pete, we have to get out of here before they bring backup. I can only hold them off for so long.’

‘Back up?’ Peter ask nonsensical, his spider senses blaring danger at him.

‘Yeah, they’re big fans of the avengers, they’ll all be swarming in here for autographs soon, but we’re kinda busy so we really have to go now.’ Mister Stark turns frantic, his hands carefully, oh so cautiously, gripping at his shoulders.

Peter allows his muscles to turn limp, pliant under strange hands. They belong to his mentor, to one of the only touches he has ever felt that don’t originate from people who are trying to hurt him, but he’s so very terrified, it doesn’t register. Peter holds still, submissive to whatever is about to happen because the pain always seems to end faster when he doesn’t struggle.

‘Peter’, Mister Stark anguished voice insists, his faceplates lifts up, and the dull eyes of who Peter has come to think of as a father gaze upon him with despair. Mister Starks hair is greasy, his mouth is pulled down in a grimace, and his eyes are, for a lack of better word grief stricken. He’s so much older then he was before Peter was taken. ‘Please buddy, we have to go.’

Mister Stark’s calloused finger strokes Peter cheek with the utmost care, barely even pressing firm enough for Peter to feel it. He does though, and traps the touch between his check and his shoulder.  The dam breaks, and the barrier of terror that clouded Peter’s judgment lifts with it. He gasps, coming up for a breath of fresh air, and the moment between mentor and son brings at least a sliver of clarity, before he sinks back under the enormity of his panic.  

‘I can’t walk’, Peter rasps, his throat torn from all the screams. He refuses to let that stop him, he’s so close to safety, he needs to push on further just a tad longer. ‘Please Mister Stark, I can’t walk.’

‘It’s okay Pete’, Tony soothes, pressing an unyielding kiss to his forehead, and if at all possible, Peter see the rage harden his face even more. ‘I’m going to get you out of here, but it’s gonna hurt, I’m sorry.’

Before Peter can begin to process that statement, Mister Stark puts the weight on his knees, the iron man suit helping to lift Peter as if it’s no trouble at all.  Tony is no liar, Peter finds, as his body begs to be placed back on the uncomfortable bed. Even places that had been relatively unharmed ache, and Peter feels like a broken doll.

‘It’s okay Kiddo we’re almost there, just a minute longer.’ Peter clings to Mister Stark, using every ounce of strength to hang on, despite the fact that Tony has a tight grip on him as well. Iron man isn’t fighting alone, as the avengers are here to back him, them, up. In any other situation, Peter would be gushing. Not only is he seeing his heroes in action, but they’re in action for him, to help him, but now, Peter only turns his head to burrow it into Mister Starks chest plate.

‘Please, please’, Peter whispers the entire way to the jet, not even realizing he’s begging for something.

‘I got you Pete’, Tony assures, one hand briefly leaving Peter’s back to shoot at a capture that’s standing in the way of the jet. Other than that, he doesn’t interfere with the fight one time, but he must itch too. Peter hears him bark orders at captain America, telling him to take some of them alive.

‘Please don’t leave me here, I’ll be good, I’ll be good.’

The Jet is nice and warm, something Peter relishes in, but when Tony tries to lower Peter on a medbed, that’s objectively much more comfortable then the bed he was on before, Peter screams. No words are spoken, but the scream startles Mister Stark just the same.

‘Stark, the base is cleared, get him strapped in, Banner is coming’, Natasha ushers, ignoring Peter’s cries and running to the cockpit. Stark has him, she argues, and it does the kid no good to have more prying eyes on him.

‘What is it, are you in pain?’ Tony asks franticly, without responding to Nat, hands hovering over Peter’s body to check for injuries, the light dims when he spots just how badly he was treated in captivity.

Peter screams again when Mister Stark pulls away too far for his liking, latching onto the suit so rigorous it creaks in protests.

‘Please, I’ll be good, don’t leave me, please. I- I know… I’m sorry, Morgan- I’, Peter can’t talk with how much he’s weeping, there are so many things to say and all of them are fighting one another to be said first. Eventually, after everyone has already touched base, the jet leaves and Doctor Banner urgers Tony to place him on the bed, Peter settles for; ‘Don’t leave me here.’

‘Peter’, Tony spits, so harsh that Peter snaps to attention, letting go of the armor and limply following where mister Stark wants him. He gently grips Peter’s chin, mindful of the bruises, and with glistening eyes, he conveys; ‘I’m never leaving you here, do you understand. I don’t care what else you have in your head, but right now, all I need you to know is that I’m not leaving you. Ever.’

He waits for the conforming nod, which Peter only gives when Mister Stark clasps his hand into his. ‘Beside, May would kill me if I came back without her nephew, and I don’t want to be the one to receive her wrath.’ Tony laughs faintly.

He wants to cry at that, good or bad he’s not sure, but instead he allows himself to be lowered, giving in only because Tony is crouching down with him, shielding Peter’s body with his own. It’s unsensical, there in the jet and there’s no danger, but if Peter feels protected Tony will do it, no questions asked.

As soon as he’s in a horizontal positions, Doctor Banner injects him with pain medication, and within seconds, Peter has floated away, dreaming of the lake house with Morgan, Pepper and tony and May at the end of the hallway.

---

Peter knows he’s in the medbay before his body has even fully awoken. He’s been here before, perhaps one to many times for it too be so familiar, and he can recognize the atmosphere from anywhere. The smell of disinfectant lingers around the room heavily, but so does the smell of motor oil, coming from Mister Stark’s lab the floor below the medbay. Usually he’s not alone when he wakes up either, accompanied by Mister Stark or May, maybe even both, and so despite the room having a different connotation, it holds security for Peter.

When all his senses click into place, with an almost audible snap after being out of commission for a week, the burning anguish joins it. It’s almost worse than during the torture itself, because it’s hitting him all at once now, and after stewing for a day his body is one big bruise, but it’s also better, because no more hurt can be added.

Blinking his eyes open, Peter glances around the room and notices that he’s by himself. He hasn’t made up his mind yet whether that’s a good or bad thing. Despite being alone, Peter very nearly cries out for the pain medication he’s sure Tony has at hand. His metabolism runs through painkillers faster than a normal body, but Mister Stark has experience in that department thanks to captain America, which is why Peter never wakes up in the medbay feeling sore.

He’s hoping to snatch some of the good stuff before he can sink away in sleep again, until a dark thought pops up in his head. What if Mister Stark purposefully didn’t give him enough medication so he wouldn’t stay asleep? What if Peter is expected to pay of his debt starting this very moment? It would make sense. Mister Stark is a man that likes to get a move on things, and this is probably no exception.

He bites back a loud whine. He’s so tired and sore, and if he could be anywhere in the world right now he’d choose the lakehouse and rest on the back porch, while looking over Morgan and ensuring she’s safe.

Still, it’s heaps better then what was waiting for him before, so Peter sucks in a deep breath and lifts himself up. He’s dresses in a hospital gown with socks on his feet, the only reprieve of the cold of the tiles that he has. His body fights in protest against the jolting movements, and Peter sinks back into bed three times before finally managing to stay upright. He swallows back bile, and blinks away the disorientation woozing its way through his head.

‘Friday’? He whispers, voice cracking on every syllable.

‘Yes, mister Parker, the AI replies easily, as chipper as a computer can possibly be. ‘It’s good to have you back,’ she adds, when Peter takes too long to reply. It’s not out of rudeness, but the words take a while to be processed in Peter’s hazy mind.

‘Can you tell me what Mister Stark wants me to do?’ Peter finally asks after coughing to clear his throat. Pride flows through his bloodstream when he manages to sound fine.

‘Mister Stark has not given me any directions, but by the distress and elevated heartbeat he experienced whilst at your bedside last, I hypothesize that he would like you to rest Peter.’  

Confusion laces Peter’s next move. Rest? But if that was the case why wasn’t the man here, ensuring that he does like all the other times he’s been in this position?  Deciding not to ask the AI anymore questions, while simultaneously ignoring her advice, Peter focuses on setting one foot in front of the other. If he can’t get a direct answer out of Friday, he’ll just get started on cleaning up in the lab.

The last few times Tony and Peter worked in there, Mister Stark had jokingly grumbled that the lace was getting to disorganized even for his taste, which definitely means something. Peter limps his way to the door, already breathing more heavily and deciding to take a rest against the still closed door. His foot throbs, so Peter switches to put the most weight on the side of his foot, instead of on the balm.

The small trek has left him bone tried, and the lab still seems so far away. Peter tries to calculate how far the lab still is, and agrees with himself to divide the length into smaller stretches. His next stop is at the elevator, so Peter shuffled along the floor, ignoring the black spots that dance before his eyes and threaten to have him collapse.

The extortion reminds him of the time that Toomes dropped a building on him, which is just plain ridiculous, this shouldn’t be half as tough. Peter scolds himself to man up when about halfway to the elevator he bumps into a cart and whimpers.

After finally finding support on the elevator beams, Peter allows himself a twenty second break to cry. At this point, the exact reason for crying is unbeknownst to him. All that he does know is that he feels like a mess, like someone took all the spiderman away from him and left him as a pile of uselessness. He shouldn’t have the right to complain however. Mister Stark rescued him from a fate much worse, the least he could do is help him out.

‘Friday’, Peter pauses to gulp in more air, and to force his tears back. ‘Open the elevator.’

‘Mister Parker I would advise-‘

‘Please’, he begs, voice barely louder then a whisper. The AI complies without further disagreement. The elevator begins to move the floor bellow it, soundlessly passing Peter along. The theme song, a little joke that Tony had installed after they made a song about spiderman, which plays during every elevator ride when Peter is present, stays off. The doors open, and Peter stumbles out, cheering up a dash when the mess doesn’t look as bad as he had imagined it. The clean up should be doable within two hours, even in Peter’s injured state. Most of the mess comes from scattered papers and documents that Tony tosses aside and never bothered to do anything with, and of mechanical parts that are ready to be thrown out.

All in all, not a lot of weight that Peter has to pick up. He has barely started on five pages when the elevator behind him opens again. Peter hadn’t noticed it going to a different floor in the first place.

Lister Stark burst out of the room like the devil himself is after him. He pauses for one second to observe what Peter’s doing -he’s in the middle of bending down at a very lateral pace- and then he’s off again, cursing under his breath.

‘Jesus Christ Peter what are you doing?’

He pulls out a rolling chair from behind his work bench and rushes it to Peter side. ‘Come on, sit.’ He says already clenching a hand around Peter’s bicep to guide him down. In his confusion, Peter follows his instruction.

‘Mister Stark?’ He questions, eyes tracking his mentors movement as if he’s afraid he’s done something wrong and punishment will follow.

There is none, all that Tony does, is fall down on his knees in front of Peter, so they’re making direct eye contact. Peter gulps at the sight. He’s sure those jeans cost more than half of what May ears a month, and if Peter is expected to repay those too, he’ll never be able to pay of his debt.

‘Kiddo, what are you doing?’ Mister Stark asks incredulous, his hand never leaving Peter’s arm. His eyes sweep over Peter’s form, noticing the ailments that he aggravated by walking all the way down here. ‘Why aren’t you in bed?’

‘I thought you wanted me to get started already.’ Peter admits shyly. He can’t understand why he’s being treated with such kindness all of a sudden.

‘Started on what Pete? I don’t understand.’ Mister Stark shuffles closer, one hand coming up to cup Peter’s chin, sweeping gentle circles that are meant to calm himself down as much as Peter.

‘Paying of my debt.’ Peter replies confused, wrapping his arms around his stomach area and bending downwards in an order to self sooth. He needs to get up soon, are Peter’ not sure he will be able to. Now that he’s granting his body some rest, the pain he forced to the back of his mind is rushing back in.

‘What debt kid, you need rest and you need it right now. Stay here, I’m going to go get you a gurney so you don’t require any more walking.’

Right as Mister Stark gets of his knees, Peter’s hand shoots out, gripping the older man’s wrist.  The action was pure habitual, but now that he’s initiated contact he doesn’t know what to do.

‘When will I have to start working then? I’d rather get started as soon as possible, to thank you for everything Mister Stark.’ Peter’s voice pitches even lower, letting his head hang down in shame. He really doesn’t want to offer his suit back, Spiderman is what gives him purpose, but the sooner he no longer has a debt, the sooner he can start working to provide May with an extra income as well. He has no choice.

‘I can give you the suit back if you’ll accept it.’

Tony regards him with perturbation for several long lasting moment. Then, he gasps, finally clicking in his head what Peter is going on about.

‘Oh kiddo, that’s the concussion speaking. Listen to me,’ he sinks back down in front Peter, taking his hand in his. ‘You have done so much for me. If anything it’s me that should be in debt to you.’ Peter pens his mouth to argue, but Tony hushes him softly.

‘You’re not thinking straight buddy, that why spider baby’s need their rest. But truly Peter, you don’t owe me anything. Well except maybe you owe it to  be safe, I think I’ve earned that much.’

‘Really?’ Peter asks optimistically, his whole body filling up with a feeling he can’t name, but it chokes him up until he’s bursting with the urge to give a hug to his mentor.

‘Yeah Peter of course. All I want is my kids to be safe.’

Kids. Tony sees Peter as his kid, as equal to Morgan. A person to love unconditionally without needing any favors, without having any debt. Of course Mister Stark won’t ask that of him, despite his front, the man has a heart that’s made of gold. Mister Stark, his mentor, and his father figure.

‘Dad,’ Peter sobs, almost falling out of the chair in his rush to get to Tony. The man immediately returns the hug, holding Peter up in a way that he hopes will be the least painful for him.

‘You’re okay Peter you’re okay.’

‘I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking’, Peter confesses, deeply ashamed of how low he thought of his dad.

‘It’s okay Kiddo, like I said it’s the concussion. Of course you were scared, I can’t blame you. I promise that I tried so hard to find you bud. I’m sorry it took me so long.’

Peter says nothing, he’s had enough encounters with Tony now to sense that the man wouldn’t believe him if Peter told him it’s okay. Instead he just nuzzles closer, accepting all the love and affection radiating from Tony, and giving back what he hopes is just as much.

‘Can we go back to the lakehouse?’ Peter asks softly, burring his head in Tony’s neck. It might be a weird question coming from him. He liked the beach house enough, but he has never actively asked to go there when they could stay at the tower as well. But now, Peter won’t feel safe unless his down there, in the cabin hidden behind threes, where the environment is quiet that he can hear everyone’s heartbeat, and can confirm that everyone is safe.

‘Sure kid.’ Tony responds, a tad bewildered, but happy to provide anyway. ‘We’ll leave as soon as you get check out okay. I want to make sure you didn’t rip anything.’

‘Okay’, Peter mumbles, a bone deep tiredness washing over him, and letting him sink down into Tony. ‘Thanks dad.’

If Peter were more awake, he would have noticed the silent tears of happiness streaming down Mister Starks cheek at the name. As it stands, Peter just hums contently when a kiss is pressed at the top of his head, and Tony strikes a hand through his hair.

‘Anything for my son.’

[alrightberries]

strawberries and cigarettes (always taste like you)

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: angst ❈ word count: 4k

❈ summary: Levi celebrates Christmas Eve the only way he knew how: getting drunk and high on a rooftop while thinking about you.

❈ trigger warnings: drinking and smoking. mentions of violence, gore, blood and death. brief mention of sex. profanity.

a/n: canon compliant but also kinda not? idk if they have cigarettes in the aot/snk universe or if they celebrate christmas so just roll with it.

Smoke puffed out of Levi’s lips, slowly dissipating in the chilly December night. The breeze that passed by caused goosebumps to rise on his skin, a product of the winter’s unforgiving coldness, and the thought of getting off the rooftop where he sat in silence briefly crossed his mind. His office wasn’t that far and it wouldn’t take that long to quickly grab his coat, but the longer he stayed and stared at the dark sky, the more he found himself not caring about the cold breeze or the below zero temperatures. 

He took another puff from the cigarette in his hand, eyes drifting towards the barracks where the rest of the regiment most likely was at this hour. The torches and lamps scattered around the base glowed a warm orange-y yellow, a contrast to the whites and blues of the snow and darkness. It looked gorgeous, almost, and Levi silently chuckled to himself at the sickening thought of finding anything beautiful at this fucked up time of year.

Christmas Eve.

A time for friends. A time for family. A time for people to gather around the fireplace and drink warm beverages as they sang songs, told stories, and eagerly waited for the stroke of midnight to open and exchange their gifts.

What a load of bullshit.

Christmas Eve was Levi’s version of a pain in the ass. It was a holiday filled with a bunch of cadets greeting him with a warm and cheery ‘Merry Christmas, Captain’ every time he passed them in the halls, and he would only respond with either silence or a brief nod of acknowledgement. Not to mention, it was also the time where Hanji would try to get him to celebrate different festivities in an attempt to cheer him up. 

It was technically a week-long headache for Levi, with the eccentric soldier- for an entire seven days prior to Christmas- trying just about everything in the book in attempts to get him to sit around the fire with the other squad leaders or even do something as small as switch out tea for hot chocolate to match the holiday spirit. It seemed like Hanji’s excessive invitations would always get worse around Christmas Eve, but of course, it never worked.

Levi took a swig of the whiskey he’d brought with him onto the rooftop, extinguishing the cigarette he was holding and lighting a new one once it had reached its end, before taking another deep inhale of the stick of nicotine.

Indeed, Christmas Eve was nothing but a pain for Levi.

Perhaps Hanji thought of him as lonely. Maybe Erwin had even just half a mind to worry about his well-being. But truth be told, Levi did celebrate Christmas Eve in his own little way: at around 10 o’clock at night, without fail, Levi would make his way onto the highest rooftop of their current base carrying nothing but whiskey, nicotine, and strawberries. From there, he would drink and smoke until midnight came, at which point he would start to eat the strawberries he’d brought. Then he would drink and smoke some more until he felt like his liver couldn’t handle it anymore, before eventually making his way back to his quarters at 4 o’clock in the morning and attempt to get his drunk and high mind to rest.

It was his fucked up little Christmas Eve tradition. 

The first year Hanji had noticed that Levi wasn’t around the base for their Christmas Eve celebration, they went around asking people if anyone had seen him, to which everyone would reply with ‘No, I haven’t seen him, sorry.’ When the second year came around, Hanji once again noticed that Levi was gone and no one had seemed to know where he was. So when the third year came around, they waited for him to leave his office and stealthily followed him around the base to find out exactly where Levi runs off to during the holidays. Hanji got caught, of course, and by the third time they’d gotten caught (and almost strangled each time) they knew it was best to stick to pestering him rather than following him.

Levi grimaced at the memories of Hanji trying to follow him around, him sensing it immediately and going around the base in an attempt to shake them off his tail, failing, and eventually just resorting to telling them off (Oi, four-eyes, how much longer do you plan to stalk me like a creepy old pervert?)

He sighed.

He wasn’t always like this. He used to enjoy Christmas Eve and doing all the cliche holiday traditions that came with it; sitting around the fireplace with Isabel and Farlan and playing the guitar, pretending not to care about their tone-deaf voices as they sang their own version of holiday songs, never really knowing the lyrics but knowing the tune and making up words to accompany the melody as they go.

Where did he go wrong?

It was around his second bottle of whiskey and his second (or third? He couldn’t remember but didn’t really care at this point) packet of cigarettes when Levi’s fuzzy mind would finally unlock the memories he’d kept at the very back of his mind- a place where he couldn’t reach them and they couldn’t reach him. Memories he’d repressed years ago, never to be thought of, never to see the light of day. Except on Christmas Eve.

He closed eyes as he exhaled, lying down on the rooftop’s snow-covered shingles as he carefully set down the bottle of whiskey next to him, just within his reach. He went through cherry-picked memories of his life Underground once again, relishing in the warmth and happiness he once felt when he was with Isabel and Farlan. But at the very corner of each memory, always within his peripheral vision, was a fuzzy character- a person, no doubt- laughing. Smiling. Holding his hand. Playing with his hair. Kissing him good night. Bandaging his wounds. Showing him tricks with a knife. Making tea. Talking with Isabel and Farlan.

He took another swig of the bottle of whiskey, eager to make the fuzzy memory vivid in a way that only the drink that burned his throat could do. His heart skipped a beat as the blurry edges and lines he’d superimposed into his own mind cleared and revealed the one person that made this living hell a bit less terrible, and the only reason why he ever did his little Christmas Eve tradition.

For a moment, it felt like he was floating on air as he finally got a good look at the character that he’d tried so hard to erase from his mind but never could. His mind may have forgotten but his body still remembered, and he felt the tips of his fingers tingle not from the cold but from the memories of a touch, a touch so endearing, a touch so warm, a touch that felt like home. A touch that was unmistakably you.

Mind fuzzy from the alcohol and head just a little light from the nicotine, Levi can faintly remember the moments he’d shared with you during his time in the Underground.

He remembers being homeless after Kenny had left him, then meeting you as you both ran into each other- quite literally, at that- when you stole bread from a bakery and made a run for it as two angry adults chased after you, cutting him a deal that if he helped you get out of it alive then you would share your measly loaf of bread with him. He remembers teaming up with you from that day onward and watching each others’ backs, sleeping in alleyways and taking shifts for safety, rummaging through garbage cans for food before Levi decided that enough was enough and robbing a stall so you both could eat that day. 

Faintly, he also remembers the day he joined a gang that promised him food, shelter, and a steady paying job if he could prove how strong he was by beating up a rival gang member. He remembers getting jumped by three other people as he beat up the man he was told to pummel, fighting them off and winning without so much as a sweat. He remembers the gang he wanted to join eagerly inviting him after the fact, and he agreed on the condition that you came along too.

He remembers the first time he’d taken a shower after years of being filthy, and how clean and fresh he felt without the dirt and grime caking his clothes and his skin. He remembers hearing the door to his small room open- knowing that it was you- and turning around so he could marvel at how clean he felt. But his words died on his tongue as he took a look at you, hair clean, face visible, dirt free, and looking ever-gorgeous in the clothes he’d bought you the day before using his blood money. The clothes weren’t fancy in any way at all, just simple clothes that he bought on a whim when he realized that you’d been wearing the same unwashed garments for years, but he remembers it was enough for him to decide that, even though he didn’t understand what it meant when his heart sped up and the tips of his ears started to burn whenever he was around you, he liked looking at you when were clean. He liked being clean.

He remembers the first time you kissed him. He was sat on the bed of your shared room, gritting his teeth as you stitched up a cut on his forehead and berated him for being so careless, being too confident, on one of the jobs his boss had assigned him. He finished the job, of course, his ability to get the job done without fail being the main reason why he was assigned so many assignments in the first place, but it didn’t make you less angry when he walked into the room with bruised knuckles and a large gash on his forehead. He remembers staying silent, breathing through the pain of what was essentially surgery with no anesthesia as your berating slowly died down and he could finally see in your eyes the worry you tried to conceal with anger. He remembers taking your hand in his after you’d finished cleaning up the materials you used to administer first aid, gently pulling you down to sit next to him as your hands reached out and cradled his face, careful not to touch the freshly sewn skin as he slowly leaned in until his lips met yours.

He remembers the first time he had sex with you, how it was nothing short of awkward and clumsy as two teenagers tried to figure out what goes where and how to do this and that. You were both each others’ first, that much he knew, and though the first time wasn’t as hot and steamy as everyone had worked it out to be, he still enjoyed it because it was you. He remembers cradling you in his arms that night as you fell asleep, a small smile on your peaceful face, and he made his first silent promise that night: that he’d do anything within his power to keep you safe and happy.

He remembers Farlan and the support he gave as Levi worked his way up to a higher position in the gang’s ranks, inevitably becoming the leader through his skills and hard work (a result of the second silent promise he’d made to himself: that he would work hard and become successful enough that you wouldn’t have to lift a finger to live a decent life.) He remembers taking you out of your small shared bedroom and moving you to an actual house that you could call your own; it was barren and filthy and needed a lot of tender love and care, but it didn’t matter- as long as you were with him, he was home. 

He remembers getting his hands on some ODM gear through the black market, training Farlan to become his right-hand man as you stayed within the base and administered first-aid to any member of his gang that needed it. He refused to let you learn how to use the gear, fearing that if you were to be seen doing his dirty work with him then you would become a target of both rival gangs and the Military Police. You didn’t mind, perfectly comfortable with staying at home and handling the more business side of things that involved pay distributions and document blackmails.

He remembers meeting Isabel that fateful day she barged into your home, scaring away the thugs who chased after her and accepting her into the group, your odd little family of dysfunctional orphans now complete.

He remembers spending Christmas Eve with his little family, sitting around the fireplace as you laughed at one of Farlan and Isabel’s stories, hand tightly clutching his as he silently reveled in the peace and happiness he managed to find in the least happy and least peaceful city within the walls. He remembers you telling him to close his eyes as the clock struck midnight, eagerly placing a cardboard box on his hands and apologizing for not wrapping it because you couldn’t afford the wrapping paper anymore, money already spent on the gift itself. He remembers his heart swelling as he opened the box, a beautiful porcelain tea set staring back at him as Isabel and Farlan proudly proclaimed that they also got him a copper kettle and some quality tea leaves to match your gift. He remembers scolding the three of you for spending so much money on such lavish gifts, but you dismissed him and said that it was alright, the little extravagance and months of saving being well worth his present for Christmas and his birthday (which were, coincidentally, the same day).

He remembers the Christmas Eve after that. He remembers the three of you shyly apologizing for not getting him a gift, still recovering from your lavish spending the year before, and he said it didn’t matter because he bought whiskey and cigarettes to share. Faintly, he could still hear Farlan asking him what the hell cigarettes were, and he explained that since the whiskey itself was expensive, he couldn’t afford cigars and instead opted for the cheaper synthetic version of it. He remembers being sat on the roof as you laughed and drank and smoked until sunlight peeked through the gutters on the ceiling of the Underground, clumsily making your way back inside your home to sleep (really, it was mostly you, Isabel, and Farlan who were clumsy. Levi had a high alcohol tolerance and though he grumbled about having to always babysit the three of you when you drank, he always made sure that you were all tucked into bed and snoring away before he himself went to sleep.) He remembers it becoming a tradition for your little family, something that you did every Christmas Eve after that.

He remembers the mysterious nobleman who sat in his little carriage, offering a job to Isabel, Farlan, and himself in return for a generous fee and citizenship to Wall Sina. He remembers rushing home and relaying the news to you as you held his hand, happy that they would be able to go above ground, a privilege that few had. He remembers kissing your forehead and promising to use the money that came with the job to buy you citizenship as well, promising that he would take you above ground and show you the sky. He remembers you crying, tears of joy falling down your face as you kissed him, silently thanking whatever higher being there was that you met Levi.

He remembers his last day in the Underground, gearing up with Isabel and Farlan as they prepared to execute their plan of getting “arrested” by the Survey Corps and taken above ground to finish the job. He remembers your sad eyes and the way you tried to conceal them with a smile, yet he saw right through your act and promised he’d be back for you. He remembers sarcastically asking what souvenir you wanted for him to bring back after the job was done, and you kissed his nose before saying you wanted strawberries, a rare delicacy in the Underground but commonly found above. He remembers agreeing, giving you one last kiss farewell before they set out to do the job.

He remembers sitting on the barracks’ rooftop with Isabel and Farlan, admiring the heavens. He remembers being in awe of how beautiful the moon and stars were, the way they twinkled and shined in the darkness of the night. It was the first time any of them had ever seen the sky. He remembers smiling as he sat between his two closest friends, a feeling of wonder and serenity washing over him as he made another silent promise to himself that night: that he would show you the sky the way he sees it now, with your little family.

He remembers the horror he felt the day after when he rushed back to Isabel and Farlan in the battlefield, finding nothing but Isabel’s severed head and Farlan’s torso on the ground. He remembers the pain, the anguish, the despair that ran through him as he yelled and cried, killing the titan that murdered his friends and ripped away half of his family before collapsing on the ground, realizing that there was no point because he was too late. He remembers Erwin telling him that he knew what he was up to all along, but he was more than welcome to stay in the Survey Corps if he so desired. He remembers agreeing numbly, mind still reeling at his loss. He remembers realizing it had almost been an entire year since he last saw you, but he was too ashamed and in too much grief to come back empty-handed. He had failed the job. He had no money. He had no citizenship for you. And he didn’t have Isabel and Farlan anymore.

He remembers working hard for the next couple of months, realizing that the longer he stayed alive the more money they would pay him. He remembers the day he realized he finally had enough money to buy you citizenship, immediately requesting for time off on Christmas Eve, planning to finally come back to you and fulfill his silent promises. He remembers stopping by the local market, buying a fresh basket of strawberries as an apology for making you wait so long (and also because he still remembered your request), before heading to the Underground the day before Christmas to surprise you.

He remembers feeling nervous yet giddy as he walked to the location of your home, thoughts of finally seeing you for the first time in so long filling up his mind. Nervousness was replaced with worry the closer he got to your home, and he realized that something was horribly wrong. He rushed to the house, fresh bodies littering the front steps as he tried not to step on them. Blood dripped around him, and he knew that whatever happened, happened recently. The door was already open, and Levi wasn’t sure what he was expecting as he cautiously stepped inside but he already feared the worst. Just then, he heard a loud thump followed by a groan coming from your shared bedroom, and Levi rushed inside. He remembers the way his heart stopped at the sight he saw: you, bleeding out on the floor, multiple stab wounds on your abdomen and struggling to breathe. He remembers dropping the basket he held, strawberries scattering around the floor as he rushed to your side, fear turning into panic as he clutched you in his arms.

“Levi,” he remembered you whispering with a weak smile. Your hand reached out to brush a stray strand of hair away from his face. “You came back.”

He remembers scoffing because of course he came back. He promised you he would.

He remembers trying to put pressure on your wounds but not knowing where to start because you had been stabbed so many times and there was only so much he could do since he only had two hands. He remembers you trying to stop him, telling him it was no use. He remembers yelling at you to shut up, okay? You’re not fucking dying on me. Not now. Not ever. 

He doesn’t remember crying, however. But he does remember you reaching out once more to wipe at his cheeks, and he was briefly aware that somehow his cheeks had gotten wet. He remembers you holding his hands that were still trying to put pressure on the wounds, begging him to stop, Levi, please. You and I both know it’s no use. 

He remembers the unmistakable sound of a grandfather clock’s bell, signaling the strike of midnight. He remembers holding your hand as you weakly looked up at his face, a small smile on your lips as you whispered “Merry Christmas and a happy birthday to you, Levi. I love you.” before your hands fell limp in his. 

He remembers collapsing, yelling out your name as he held your corpse in his arms. He remembers shifting, feeling an empty basket bumping against his leg, and he’s suddenly reminded of the strawberries he’d brought as he rushed to gather them all up with shaky hands and put them in the basket once more. “I brought you strawberries, just like you asked.” He remembered saying, pathetically placing it down next to your head. But it was too late. He was too late.

It was gang activity, most likely retaliation. He remembered the Military Police saying. You’re lucky, actually. They left just a couple minutes before you arrived.

He doesn’t remember what happened after that.

But he does remember that he broke all of his promises to you. He remembers that you never even knew that Isabel and Farlan were dead. He remembers that you never even got to see the sky or breathe in the fresh air. He remembers that you never even got to know what strawberries taste like. He remembers that he was too late. For you. For Farlan. For Isabel. 

He was always too late.

The feeling of something cold and wet on his cheeks snapped Levi from his reverie. He sat up, silently cursing the snow that fell on his face as his hands wiped at his cheeks, letting go of the bottle of whiskey in favor of blindly looking for the strawberries he’d brought up with him onto the roof. He felt numb. He wasn’t sure if it was due to the cold, the alcohol, the nicotine, or his own heartbreak at the memories he tried to suppress. He never allowed himself any time to mourn, instead choosing to keep all those memories under lock and key somewhere within the dark crevices of his mind, only to be opened on Christmas Eve, the day he lost it all.

The day he lost his entire family.

He shifts, suddenly aware of the small box in his pocket. As he took out and opened the small black velvety box, he noticed more snowflakes had melted on his cheeks, the gold ring staring back at his face for a few moments before he angrily closed it once more and shoved it back inside his pockets, its weight feeling as heavy as his heart.

He was too late.

Silently, Levi realizes that snow wasn’t falling. He realizes that the wet on his cheeks isn’t from the snow melting on his face, but rather, from his own tears as they slowly came down in gentle streams.

The bell tower rang throughout the base, signaling the stroke of midnight. Bitterly, he took a bite of the strawberries as he lied down once more, reaching for the bottle of whiskey.

Merry Christmas and a happy fucking birthday to me.

alrightberries © 2020. do not modify or repost.

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[shyficwriter]

You Laugh, You lose

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Yondu, Kraglin, Peter

Summary: You're stuck on planet until morning when a part fails on Yondu's M-ship, so Peter suggests a game to pass the time.

Author’s Note: This is the fluffy/funny fic I promised to make up for the two angsty fics before it. Hope you like it! Also shoutout to @badjokesbyjeff where I got most of these jokes from.

Word Count: 3,100

One rule.

You laugh. You lose.

Ok, maybe there were a couple more rules than that, but that was the gist.

It was a game often played between you and Peter, and occasionally also with Yondu or Kraglin on long job travels to kill the boredom.

The goal? Make the other person laugh. If you succeed, you win. You fail, then the game continues until someone loses it and laughs. Winner gets bragging rights, loser usually has to buy a round of drinks for the rest.

The game had originally started out with the one rule, but over time a couple more rules had been added. One of these rules was that stuff like tickling was cheating. You'd think this would have been an obvious rule to start with, but when it was you losing the game to tickles, Peter didn't mind. Less competition, right? But once the tables were turned and he lost a round, then suddenly tickling was "major cheating" and "totally unfair!" So, naturally, now there was a "no touching" rule during the game.

Another rule that needed to be added later was that Yondu couldn't gibberish talk his way to a win. It just gave him too much of an unfair advantage over you and Kraglin, who would crack up very quickly upon being face to face with a deadpan Yondu talking to you in pure nonsense. Peter was the only one of you three not really effected by it, as he found it more annoying than anything else.

Of course, Yondu tried to use his status as captain to veto this rule, but after a vote of 3-1 against the gibberish, he finally relented, stating that, "Aw, fine! I don't need to do that to win anyway!"

However, this didn't stop him from slipping a little in from time to time, always claiming he "forgot."

Sure, Yondu. Sure.

That was pretty much the main rules. The rest were more just guidelines. Like, smiling was allowed, as it didn't count as laughing, but too sharp of an exhale out your nose while smiling could be considered a laugh. Stuff like that.

Today happened to be one of those days where a job had run long, or rather, the trip did.

The job actually went fairly smoothly, to Yondu's surprise. However, when it was all said and done and it was time to leave, the ship wouldn't start.

Luckily, Yondu knew a guy who could fix the problem (just something minor with the fuel intake, but at the same time not something that Yondu could fix without replacing a part he didn't have and certain tools he didn't bring with him.) Only problem was the guy couldn't get the part in until the morning.

So you were all stuck there. Until morning. On a patch of the planet that wasn't within reasonable walking distance of anything fun. Plus it was raining, so you were all more or less confined to the ship for the evening.

Great.

So that's why Peter proposed a game of You Laugh You Lose.

At first Yondu didn't want to, being grumpy about being stranded for the night over such a minor fix and all, but Kraglin managed to convince him in hopes it would lift his spirits.

Now, playing with four people was a little different than one on one. With two people you'd sit facing your opponent and take turns trying to make the other laugh. When starting with four you all sat around the table, each person taking a turn in attempts to get any of the other three to laugh. If someone cracks, regardless of who made them laugh, they're out, and can act as referees, or mildly help crack the others if they choose. Also, instead of the just first to lose owing everyone a round a drinks, all three losers would owe a round, pretty much ensuring the winner 3 free drinks the next time they went out.

Peter sat directly in front of you at the small table, with Yondu to your left and Kraglin sitting directly in front of him. The four of you took a second to fully compose yourselves, making your faces as expressionless as possible, and then Peter started.

He stared you dead in the eye. "Why do bees hum?" he asked, waiting a moment, more for comedic timing than an actual answer, as was how many of the jokes told in the game went. When no one spoke up he said, "Because they don't know the words."

You exhaled slowly through your nose and shook your head, the known sign for, "That the best you got?"

Kraglin's turn now. He took a different approach. He crossed his eyes and in a deadpan voice said, "Wanna hear a joke about a piece of paper?"

Yondu raised an eyebrow, but shook his head when Kraglin continued, "Never mind, it's tearable." Peter made the universal noise for having heard a bad joke.

Your turn. "What did the A'askavariian say after a bad night out?"

"What?" asked Kraglin.

"Wouldn't know. You should ask Peter."

Peter made a scandalized noise. "One time!"

You saw Yondu's mouth twitch, but he quickly recovered. Kraglin took a deep breath and exhaled to keep it together.

Yondu's turn. He told another joke at Peter's expense, and actually made himself crack a smile when Peter protested again. You and Kraglin fought back grins as Peter took his turn.

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?"

The three of you shake your heads, though in Yondu and Kraglin's case you were sure it was more because they didn't know who Beethoven was. This was then confirmed by Kraglin asking, "Who's that?"

Peter didn't answer the question, instead letting out a, "Ba-na-NA-NA!"

Peter said this so suddenly and loudly that even Yondu jerked his head back in startled surprise, as did Kraglin, but Kraglin also had to stop himself from barking out a startled laugh. You, however, had to try much harder to keep yourself from laughing. It wasn't even that good of a joke, but his delivery had you biting your tongue to keep it together. Yondu didn't get the joke, but assumed it likely would have been real funny on Terra as he watched you try to steady your breathing just as Kraglin took his turn.

"Ya know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? ... The taste."

That one received a collective groan and a look of disgust from you and Peter. Yondu looked almost impressed as he shook his head.

It was your turn again. "I once watched a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was... riveting." You wiggled your eyebrows on the punchline, but only received a mock-disappointed stare from the others at your awful pun.

Instead of a joke, Yondu decided on his next turn to tell a story. "One time we were on a job on Krylor," he began, "and a pretty lil' miss thing caught Peter's eye..."

Peter's eyes widened. He had a bad feeling about which story Yondu was about to tell. "Yondu, don't." he warned flatly.

Yondu only grinned and ignored him "He goes sauntering up to her, trying to be all smooth like.."

"Yondu, seriously." Peter warned again. Again, Yondu ignored him. By now you and Kraglin were already grinning from Peter's reaction alone.

"But the boy ain't watchin' where he's goin', he slips on an empty soda can and falls flat on his face right in front of her. But that's not the best part-"

"I will seriously kill you, ya blue dick!" Peter was getting so red and flustered you had to bite your tongue, as did Kraglin who's nostrils where flaring with the effort.

"It had rained that mornin', and he had been just unlucky enough to land on a puddle, and when he stood up it looked like he'd gone and done pissed himself. I don't think I need to say he didn't wind up gettin' the girl."

That broke Kraglin. He snorted a laugh and Yondu clapped his hands together, shouting, "Gotcha! Yer out!"

Kraglin groaned out a, "I don't know why those stories always get me!" but sat back grinning anyways as Peter buried his scarlet face in his hands whining, "So uncool!"

Peter composed himself and glared at Yondu. "Alright. What about that time you accidentally switched the intercom on while listening to that Brittany Spears music from Terra?"

Yondu just stared at him stonily, no hint of emotion, refusing to dignify the story with a response, although you almost thought you could see his face slightly darken. Kraglin, even though he was out, pretended to be very interested in the table and after an awkward beat you decided to take your turn, because there's no way you'd let yourself laugh at Yondu's music choices if you knew what was good for you.

"SO- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now." you say in an attempt to bring the game back to jokes lest you be the next one they decide to dredge up an embarrassing story about.

Yondu turned his attention to you. "Ya know, I think the toilet has anger issues," he said. You gave him a confused look and he continued, "Whenever I flush it, it completely loses its shit."

You fight a smile. Peter does the same despite himself still being cranky about Yondu's previous story. Kraglin, however, openly giggles at the joke.

Peter quickly steadies his breathing and says, "There were once two guys flying a ship in dead space. One turns to his buddy and says: 'Damn, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.' His friend replies: 'In space no one can, here use cream.'"

You raised an eyebrow in confusion momentarily before throwing your head back with a groan as you got the joke. "That's a terrible joke!" you say, allowing yourself to grin.

"But you wanna laugh, don't you?" Peter teased.

You playfully glare at him and take your turn instead of answering. "Which is heavier, 200 lbs of feathers, or 200 lbs of bricks?"

Now Yondu raised an eyebrow. "They'd weigh the same, kid."

You try not to grin as you shake your head. "Nah. It's the feathers, because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds."

Yondu propped his elbow on the table and half-hid his grin behind his hand as he nodded his head in approval, before being mildly startled by the sound of a laugh escaping Peter's gritted teeth. Yondu joyfully slapped the table and pointed at Peter. "Yer out too, boy!"

"Aw, dammit!" Peter cried out, but he wasn't angry anymore. He followed Kraglin's lead and relaxed in his chair knowing he was now able to laugh freely at any corny jokes that came.

Yondu smirks at you. "And then there were two."

Crap. You had really been hoping you wouldn't need to square up against him alone. He was really good at this game, and rarely broke. You, however, always had to fight super hard against turning into a giggly little mess, and usually lost. There was just something about his ability to deliver the jokes with a completely deadpan or stern face that always broke you, but this time you were going to try your best to avoid that.

"I was kidnapped by mimes once." he said, "They did unspeakable things to me."

You inhaled deeply, and let it out slowly, shaking your head as you did so and giving a look that said 'Damn you.' "What’s the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?" you begin, continuing after a beat, "The amateur thief says, 'Give me all your money!' The professional thief says, 'Sign here please.'"

Yondu nodded his head thoughtfully. "That's actually pretty accurate. Not sure that's even a joke..." he grinned, almost taunting you at the inability to draw a laugh from him. His turn now. "Two burglars are robbin' a liquor store. One turns to the other an' asks, 'Is this whiskey?' The other replies, “Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank.” Of course, this last line was delivered with a clean slate of emotion, your weakness.

Fuck.

You had to turn your head away from him as you fought to keep your breathing in check, your lips pressed together, threatening to betray you.

"Ay Ay! No looking away you coward!" Peter laughed, prompting you to face him instead. You flipped him off, your grin finally splitting your face.

"There it is! Come on, you know ya wanna laugh." Yondu teased, grinning at how your nostrils flared when you turned back to glare at him. An unconvincing glare, but it was the best you could manage.

After a couple deep breaths with your hands balled into fists you thought you had calmed down enough to take your turn. "I yelled “COW!” at a woman on a bike once. She flipped me off and then ran straight into the cow..." You raised your hands and shrugged your shoulders in mock exasperation. "I tried!"

Peter laughed while Kraglin and Yondu just shared an amused glance.

"Ya know, I might've actually found that funny... if I knew what a cow was." Yondu taunted, grinning as your shoulders fell in realization.

That made Peter snort, probably for no other reason than he now just had a case of the giggles. But the look on your face was probably part of it. His snort in turn made you grin, his laughter contagious.

This gave Yondu an idea. Grinning evilly he reached over to poke Peter in the side, making the younger man jerk almost violently away with a giggle. Kraglin chuckled as Peter protested, "Hey! You know that's cheating!"

"Nah, you're out, boy. There ain't no rule that says I can't use it on someone that's outta the game." Yondu argued playfully, throwing a look at Kraglin who took the hint and poked Peter from the other side.

"Hey!" Peter whined, the pitiful sound making you cover your mouth to hide your widening grin.

Kraglin stood so he could tickle Peter properly, seeing your amusement at his predicament, and you clenched your jaw as streams of your friend's laughter mixed with uncharacteristically high pitched, "No!"s and "Please!"s poured from his mouth before he managed to escape Kraglin's grip and hop away from the table, clutching his sides and catching his breath. Just in time too, because you were worried that might've actually broken you if Peter hadn't stopped his girly ticklish squeals.

Yondu must've realized this too because he snapped his fingers in mock frustration, and conceded that it was your turn again. In truth he was glad Peter got away as well. The plan had almost backfired on him, nearly having made him laugh at the sight as well.

You had to restart your joke twice, each time having to stop yourself from accidentally laughing so you wouldn't lose. Eventually you finally got out, "Guy with a gun enters a bar... He cries out angrily: 'Who the fuck had sex with my wife?'... A voice was heard in the background, "You don’t have enough bullets mate!”

Yondu grinned, looking down at the table before nodding. "I like that one. It's good." However, he didn't laugh, just went straight into his next joke. "Nurse hands a man his newborn and says 'I’m sorry, but your wife didn’t make it.' He hands it back, saying, 'Well give me the one my wife made.'"

Your eyes went wide. "Yondu!" you scold. "That's terrible!"

"Don't give me that! I can see ya fighting not to laugh."

It was true. As much as the joke was bad, you couldn't help it. There's nothing that makes someone want to laugh more than knowing you can't laugh. Everything's funnier when you can't laugh. You roll your eyes and deliver your next joke. "Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? ... It got stuck in a crack."

Peter cracked up at that, moving to sit back down with a warning glance at Kraglin, who held up his hands as a sign that he wasn't going to tickle him again. Kraglin then shook his head with a wide grin as he watched Yondu run his tongue over his teeth and look down as he tried to suppress a smile.

Yondu inhaled. "Damn. Ya almost got me."

You grinned wide and bit your tongue. You almost got yourself.

"Ya wanna hear a joke 'bout construction?"

You let out a dramatic sigh. "You're gonna tell it anyway, might as well."

"I'm still workin' on it."

You smack your hand on your thigh and jerk your head to the side as your breath hitched. "Fuck you!" you say, a wide grin plastered to your face.

Now Peter and Kraglin were laughing at yours and Yondu's reactions more than anything else.

"Ya wanna tap out now? There's no shame if ya do." Yondu teased.

"Fuck you." you say again. "What did the plumber say to the singer?" You cursed yourself for not being able to come up with a better joke, but delivered the punch-line anyway. "Nice pipes."

Yondu didn't even crack a smile a that, not that you blamed him. He asked, "What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?"

"I don-"

"TIMING!" Yondu shouted so suddenly that you jerked back and a startled laugh finally broke free from your throat, and once it was out it was like a dam had collapsed- you couldn't hold back the torrent of giggles that had built up for so long.

"Dude! You can't just yell stuff out like that!" you scold, still giggling as you held a hand to your heart, "You scared me!"

"Made ya laugh though, that's what counts." he grinned. He stood up from the table and stretched. "Looks like I win." He ruffled your hair and you swatted him away playfully.

"One of these days I'll get you!" you say.

"Then why don't ya put your money where your mouth is," Kraglin laughed, Peter nodding with him, saying, "Yeah, you two face off again. Right now. Loser pays for everyone's drinks for the night next time we go out."

Still giggly you glance from Peter and Kraglin to a smug looking Yondu standing and grinning at you with his arms crossed.

With a giggly sigh you bow your head and concede. "I can't. I'm not ready."

Yondu lets out a chuckle and pulls you in to give you a noogie. "That's what I thought."

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - ch. 5

So, here is ch. 5 for you all.

We finally get to meet the mysterious man that Aelin was kissing.

Also, the firehouse gets a great news

Enjoy it!

Ten days had passed. Aelin had been discharged from the hospital and allowed to move around in crutches providing she took it easy, a concept totally alien to her. She had gone back to the station as soon as she could do it.

The deadline for the performance review was fast approaching and she had spent the last few days at the station. They only got a week extension so she had offered to help but all she could do was sit and direct the show. Also, working kept her mind off… things… and as in things she meant a certain arsehole who had gone completely awol. She had texted him and never got a reply. Lately every time she tried to phone him she was told that the phone was not available. So she had stopped. He clearly was offended by what she had said. She just wished he had spoken to her, explained why her confession had terrified him so much. Just as she had finally found the resolve to try again after losing Sam, he had gone and ruined everything.

A glove hit her face “planet Earth calls Aelin.”

She refocused for a second and noticed Ansel’s red mane of hair in front of her.

“Dorian is looking for you. He is in your office and Aedion is there already.”

Aelin groaned “can they come to the couch? I am so comfy here.”

“Apparently not.”

“Fine.” She dropped the documents she was revising and grabbed her crutches and pulled herself up.

At snail pace she made her way to her office and once she got there she saw Aedion standing in front of her desk while Dorian had his feet up on it and was sitting relaxed on her comfortable chair.

“I don’t care if you are the chief. First, feet off my desk, second, arse off my chair.”

Dorian moved away and let her sit down and grabbed her crutches.

“So, what is so important that I had to leave my spot on the couch?”

Dorian passed her the documents he was holding, with a grin. He was positive this was going to cheer her up.

“No fucking way. You did it.”

He smiled at her smugly “Not entirely my merit.” He confessed “As you remember, the community protested in front of the government in the aftermath of the embankment accident. They did it just before the budget review was due. The government could not ignore them and what you all did that night. And I guess that the statement from your cheerleader had helped a lot as well.”

“Who?”

“Someone I am not allowed to mention in your presence.”

Aelin stare darkened all of a sudden.

“We are getting a second engine, but that engine needs staff.” She pointed out, her excitement taking a hit “I was just getting to that” added Dorian quite quickly, “Thomas has offered to give you a few men to help staff the second engine. It will have a mixed crew of newbies and experienced staff for a while. Aedion and I thought it was the best way to go.”

Aelin nodded “I want to help interview the candidates. Aedion is busy with drills. I, on the other hand, I have plenty of time.”

“As if I can sideline you. You are the captain after all.” Added Dorian knowing full well that if Aelin had her mind set on a task it was almost impossible to dissuade her.

“I want a bigger female presence. I can’t believe that from all the candidates that graduate from the academy there are no good female firefighters.”

“I can spread the news at the academy and see who applies and go from there.”

“Good.” Aelin relaxed on the chair.

“We have also have been invited to a party thrown by the mayor.”

“You are joking.” Aelin hated that kind of party. She had been to a few and it had been a nightmare.

“There is no escaping it. We have all the be present and dress mess is required.”

“My leg is in a protective support, if I wear dress mess I need to wear the skirt which means heels and can you see where I am going with this?” Aelin protested.

“I guess we can do an exception for you. Wear your regular blue trousers, make sure your boots are shining and wear your uniform shirt with the tie, not the t-shirt. And don’t forget the hat.”

“I can live with that.”

“When is the dreadful event?” Asked Aedion who hated those ceremonies just as much as Aelin.

“This Saturday.”

“We are on night shift, you genius.”

Dorian smiled dangerously “Not anymore. Second team is taking the night shift. Let me remind you that attendance is compulsory and pass the info to the team.”

“Yes, Chief.” And Aelin was very tempted to flip him off, but he was still her boss.

“Lys and Elide are to come as well. They are part of the team.”

“Oh so, no one is immune to this horrible shenanigans. Lovely.” Aelin sat back, still annoyed at the invitation.

“No darling, if I have to suffer, you will all go down with me.” And with that Dorian disappeared behind the door.

“Come on Aedion, let’s go and ruin the team’s day.”

Slowly the two made their way back in the common area where the squad was relaxing. Aedion had put them through a gruelling session of drills in the morning and now they needed time to unwind. No one had taken nicely the fact that the review has been postponed only by a week, but at least they hadn’t asked Aelin to attend as well with a destroyed knee. She would be there of course but on the sidelines.

“Ok, people,” Aelin shouted as she slowly made her way to her team “Brullo, switch off the tv for a minute.”

“That doesn’t sound promising,” complained Ren.

“Where are Lys and Elide?”

“In the ambulance doing inventory.” Replied Nox.

“Ok, can you please go and get them?” She asked him.

He nodded and ran away and got back a few moments later with the two ladies in tow.

“Ladies, sit.”

“Uh oh.” Said Lysandra, sitting on Aedion’s lap.

“Now that everyone is here, I have an announcement.” She smiled wickedly and the team shivered. That was her scary smile “Our esteemed mayor has decided to throw a party this Saturday. Bad news is… we are all invited so that he can show us how he appreciates what we do for the community.”

“Fuck no,” shouted Ansel, while finishing the bowl of cereals she was eating.

“We are on night shift.” Added Brullo.

“No we are not. Dorian gave the shift to second team. We are all free.”

A chorus of very rude words erupted from the team. Yeah, everyone hated those parties.

“Oh and by the way… it has to be dress mess.”

The protests grew louder. Aelin let them vent for a moment before putting an end to it.

“Guys!” She shouted, and the room went quiet “I know none of us like those parties, but my hands are tied. Dorian made it pretty clear that this is mandatory. So, protest how you want but there is no getting out of it.”

The team went back to their protest when Aelin raised her voice again “Did I say I was done?”

The group went silent again.

“The second piece of information is hopefully a bit more welcome.” And she really hoped so “we are getting our second engine.”

The cheers that erupted from the team were of pure joy.

“How did you do it?”

“You have to thank Dorian. He is the one who pulled the trick.” And Rowan apparently. No, she was not going there.

“He really is better than his old man. We have been pleading the old bastard for ages and nothing. A few months in charge and Dorian gives us the second engine. If it wasn’t that I am I straight I’d kiss the guy.” Said Ren happily and everyone laughed. 

Good, Aelin thought, they needed the good spirits.

“How will we do for crew?” Asked Ansel.

“Thomas is willing to give us some of his experienced men from one of his engines and take a few newbies. We’ll man the engine with a hybrid crew. Half experienced and half newbies. I need everyone to help with training. Aedion and I will do the main stuff but you guys are involved in this as well. I am out of commission for a while so I can only do classroom training.”

“We’ll help you, cap.” Chimed Nox happily.

Aelin turned to Ansel “I have asked to have a few more ladies in the team.”

“Thanks for that. Far too much testosterone in here.”

Aelin sat back down on the sofa, her knee started to get sore again “We are going to have other women hopefully, just don’t break their hearts.” She told Ansel.

Two of the guys sprayed what they were drinking, Aelin laughed “Oh come on, don’t tell me you had no idea Ansel was swinging on both sides.” Joked Aelin smiling at the woman.

“Both…” asked Brullo still quite shocked.

Ansel drank her coffee very calmly “Men, women, on a few occasion both at the same time.”

Aelin laughed at the expression of the guys.

“Ansel, I think you broke our boys.”

Aelin mobile went off and for a moment she hoped. But that hope had been short lived.

“Give me two minutes,” she said at the person at the phone. She stood and very slowly she made her way back to her office.

Once she got off the phone she stayed in her office to work. Then the dispatch siren went off and she heard the team depart and staying behind broke her heart.

She worked a bit longer but her mind could never fully concentrate. So she decided to do something stupid while the team was out on a call. She booked a taxi and not long after she was in front of the station waiting for her ride.

The driver got her at the airbase pretty quickly. She took out her pass and she hoped it worked even without him about. The man at the main gate let her through after checking her badge. So apparently he had told people she was allowed on the premises. That was a start. Painfully she reached the second check point and a guard approached her. Ok, her luck had already ran out.

“Can I help you, miss?”

“Yes, I am here to see captain Whitethorn.”

The man looked at her with curiosity for a second.

Did she got to the right airbase? As far as she knew there was only one and the first guy let her in.

“I am sorry miss but the captain and his team left a week ago.”

“Left?” Her voice trembled.

“Yes ma’am. They have been recalled and deployed a week ago.”

“Oh.” Was all Aelin managed “Th— thank you.” She turned and made her way back to the exit. Her heart slowly breaking. She sat down on a cement wall and let the sobs come. She took the phone and dialled his number and it went to voicemail “You could have told me. Instead you left. You just left me. Do you really hate me that much?” She sobbed and brushed her hand against her eyes “I hate you and I wish I never met you. Don’t ever bother look for me when you come back… I don’t want to see your face anywhere near my station. I am done with you, captain.” She hung up the phone and lowered her head and kept crying. She was done with men. She was done with pain and a broken heart. It was not worth it.

Eventually she pulled herself upright again and started walking. She had no idea to where, which she then realised that with crutches was a really bad idea. She had to stop a few times, exhaustion taking root. But the pain in her leg was keeping away the pain in her soul. It was much later when she realised she ended up in the west of Orynth and decided to go to west station, perhaps she could bribe the guys to give her a lift back to her firehouse.

Once outside the station, Thomas was the first one who noticed her. He ran to her and Aelin collapsed in his arm.

“Aelin, what are you doing here?’

“I need to sit” was all she managed. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the section with all the bunk beds. He placed the crutches on the floor and sat on the bed at her side.

“What happened?” He asked when he noticed her puffy eyes “Why are you over here? On your own?”

“I was at the airbase.”

Thomas looked at her in shock “are you telling me that you walked in your condition from the airbase to here?”

Aelin nodded. “Can you give me a lift back?”

“Of course,” he patted her leg “let me go and tell the guys.”

He came back not long after, and lifted her in his arms “Let’s go.”

Once in the car Aelin relaxed and leaned her head against the window.

“Excited about the big night with the Mayor?”

Aelin groaned and Thomas laughed.

“Exactly the reaction my whole team had as well.”

She sighed “Dorian said it’s mandatory and I think for the very first time I have been this close to hit him. But he still is my superior.”

Thomas chuckled “If there is someone who can hit the chief without repercussions is you.”

Aelin turned and looked at him with a questioning stare.

“I mean because you are close. It’s not news that the man is madly in love with you. He might let you off if you beat him. Actually he might even like it.”

This time it was Aelin’s turn to laugh “Dorian and I… nothing ever happened. We are just really good friends. Not even a kiss.”

“So now the news is that you have your eyes set on a certain airforce captain.”

Aelin tensed at those words “You all are a bunch of crazy gossiper, you know that?”

Thomas shrugged “What did he do?”

“I don’t want to talk about him.” Her tone hard and the man at her side realised it was time to shut up. They were at her station anyway.

Aelin noticed the engine was back and she knew she was in trouble. They clearly had noticed her absence. When she decided to look at her phone again she saw a lot of message and missed phone calls from Aedion. Damn, she was screwed.

“Here you are, my lady.”

Aelin leaned over and kissed him on the cheek “thank you so much for the ride.”

“Anytime.” He opened his mouth as if to speak, then stopped and tried again “if you need to talk, I am here. I know you have your friends, but if you prefer to talk with someone who is not around you all day, I am here.”

“You are wonderful.”

He helped her get out of the car, they said goodbye and he drove away again.

Aedion came marching on as soon as he noticed she was back “where the hell have you been? Why don’t you answer your bloody phone? We came back and you were not here, where you were supposed to be.” She felt bad for making them all worry but she did not feel like explaining herself so she just moved past him and in silence she dragged herself to her office and slammed the door shut.

She sat down at her desk and plopped her leg on the spare chair the guys had placed at her side so she could stretch her injured leg, hoping for the pain to subside. She took a few minutes for herself, then texted Lysandra telling her she needed her and Elide.

The two women arrived a few minutes later. They sat on the chair in front of her desk and Aelin knew that Lys was just as mad as Aedion had been.

“Where were you? We came back and you were gone.”

“I went to the airbase.” She confessed, looking outside the window, the sky looked heavy grey and she was positive snow was coming.

“As in the airbase. His airbase.”

Aelin nodded “I needed answers. I needed to know why he left that way. I had to ask him why all this hate.”

“And?”

Aelin felt tears sting her eyes again “he was gone.” She paused “the whole team has been recalled and left for a mission a week ago. No goodbyes. Nothing. He just took off.”

Lysandra stood and ran to hug her friend “what an arsehole.”

Aelin started sobbing again “all I could do was leave him an angry voicemail telling to get away from me forever.”

“I am seriously going to kick his arse.”

Aelin pulled back from the hug “Not worth it remember?”

“We all go to that stupid party and we’ll find you a man there. Perhaps a hot wealthy man.”

Aelin chuckled “You know what, screw it. I’ll remain single all my life and if I want a good time I might ask Ansel.”

The two women laughed “she might take you up on that, you know, right?” Added Lysandra.

“Can we just stop talking about it? Fine he is hot but is he not a nice man. I want to forget that I even contemplated the fact that I had feelings for the bastard.”

“Copy that. I will pass the message along.”

“Have you considered that he might not be able to reply to you because of where he is? Perhaps he is on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the sea.”

Lysandra and Aelin stared at Elide.

“What?” She said shrugging “Lorcan gave me his number, he told me to text him. But he added as well that in the case he was going to leave for a mission not to worry if he did not reply because sometimes their phones don’t work.”

“So you knew they were away?”

“No,” replied the woman lifting her hands “I haven’t heard from him in a while. He is not the greatest of texter and I haven’t spoken to him in a while. I had no idea he was away until now when you told us.”

“Basically airforce boys do not know how to communicate. Got it.” Sarcasm dripping from Aelin’s voice.

Aelin shifted uncomfortably in her chair and Lysandra noticed that.

“Are you okay.”

“Just my leg, bothering me like hell today.”

“Sure, if you only just didn’t walk from the airbase to west station…”

Dispatch alarm went off and the two ladies ran out as the ambulance was needed.

Aelin tried going back to work but her brain was not there.

Out of boredom and curiosity and probably a deep desire for punishment she looked up the captain online. The search engine brought up a page about him. He was only two years older than her. Native of Wendlyn but moved to Terrasen when he was quite young for his father’s job. According to the article he climbed the ranks quite quickly and was thought to be one of the most promising captain in the TAF in a very long time.

“Nerd.” She joked.

Then she scrolled down to personal life and she got even more curious but froze when she read the paragraph.

Fuck.

The man had been married. His pregnant wife had died in a car accident over a year and a half before. She opened the link to the newspaper article about the accident and noticed the picture of the accident site. Her eyes fell on one detail of the image and swore.

She stood and wobbling she went to the file cabinet where she kept the reports for the old cases. She found the one she needed and sat back down. Lyria Whitethorn, that was the name of the woman. She had a look through the case file. She did remember it. It had snowed heavily and the road and had been icy and pretty bad in some areas of town. That accident had been horrendous and it had involved quite a few cars. Lyria’s car had been stuck under a lorry. According to the police it seemed like it had lost control and smashed under the lorry that had crashed against the barriers at the side of the road. She died on impact. It had been an horrendous night. They spent hours working under the snow and only one person had come out alive from that disaster.

She leaned back and felt tears running down her face. They had one big thing in common. They both had lost someone they loved. And all of a sudden it hit her. His reaction. His fear. And for a moment contemplated that he was just as scared as her to get involved again. She closed the file and  grabbed her head in her hands. How badly had she fucked up? 

She took her phone and dialled his number. The number was not available and she left him a voicemail message again “Hey it’s me again. I know you are away and probably can’t get this message. If you listen to the old one as well, just ignore it. I was mad. I did not mean it. I… just… let’s just talk when you get back. Please. Be safe, okay?”

She leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and cried for both of them, for what they had lost and for the fear of committing again. 

Saturday eventually arrived and Aelin was at home getting ready for the party. Lysandra and Elide had joined her since Lys was going to drive them all.

Aelin had been in a bad mood since her discovery about Rowan but had not told anyone about it. To do so would mean reveal his secret and she could not to do that. It was far too personal.

“You’d think that being barely able to walk would excuse me from such horrible events.” She growled while tying her tie.

“You have been in a funk for a few days. Are you okay?” Lysandra had noticed her bad mood.

“Fine.” She snapped. “I am sorry…”

“Just don’t piss off any politicians, okay? We need them.”

Aelin sighed “I will behave.”

They arrived at the venue not long after and they noticed the already high number of cars present.

“Are we too late to bail?” Asked Elide who had been uncomfortable as well at the idea.

“Unless you want Dorian to rip you a new one, I would leave aside that plan for now.”

The three women made their way to the main entrance where someone checked their names against a list. Aelin for a moment hoped that someone had messed up and forgot to add them.

But that hope died quickly when the man greeted them a bit too happily.

“Ok, are we ready?” Said Aelin gathering the courage she needed to face such a horrible night.

They entered the venue and the notes of classical music hit them.

“At least they have great taste in music.” Commented Aelin staring at the great hall.

Dorian spotted them from the distance and walked to them with a brisk pace “Ladies, you made it. wonderful. Go, mingle, have fun. There’s plenty of food.” He grabbed Aelin’s hand “You come with me. The mayor wants to meet you.”

“What?” Blurted Aelin, sweating cold all of a sudden.

“The mayor would like to speak with you. He met Thomas already. Now it’s your turn.”

“I am not speaking to the mayor.”

“Aelin… this is an order from your superior.”

The woman growled back “Oh, so pulling rank, now?”

“Come,” he repeated.

Aelin turned to Lysandra and Elide “if I don’t come back soon, please come and get me. I love you both.”

Dorian rolled his eyes and he started walking and Aelin followed behind.

Eventually they arrived where the mayor was entertaining some guest and Aelin wanted to turn away, but Dorian sensed her intentions and placed a hand on her lower back in warning.

“Ah, Dorian, I see you have captain Galathynius with you. Wonderful.”

Aelin leaned on one crutch and extended her hand to the man “please to meet you sir.”

“The honour is mine captain. And thank you for coming even in your conditions.”

As if I had a choice and she looked at Dorian glaring at him.

“I just wanted to offer my thank you in person for what you do in the community and what you did the night of the embankment accident.”

“The community comes first.” She commented and Dorian gently nudged her sides at her comment.

“You are absolutely correct, captain. I am aware that you will be getting a second engine at east station, I hope this is a welcomed news.”

Aelin smiled “Very much sir. It has been a long time coming and we are very excited.”

“This is my email,” he gave her a business card “email me. Any idea, concerns or anything else related to your job. I will do my best to make it happen.”

Aelin took the card and was speechless. 

“Now unfortunately being the host forces me to go around and be pleasant with all these strangers. I don’t think there is alcohol enough to survive such an evening.”

He gave her a huge grin, waved at Dorian and walked away.

“Are we sure that was the mayor?”

Dorian nodded dumbfounded.

“Do you think he was drunk?”

Dorian shrugged, just as confused as her “Just don’t loose that card.” The man then left her and she had a moment alone to look around and enjoy the music. She hadn’t been at a classical concert in a lifetime and missed it. Or at the opera. She wanted to go to the opera again.

She had her eyes closed when she perceived a figure at her side. She opened her eyes again and noticed it was Thomas, looking at her in a curious way “Hey you.”

She looked at him and froze. The man in front of her was gorgeous. She was used to see him in his everyday uniform or the fire gear, and his hair tied and under an helmet. She almost did not recognise him. He had his dress mess uniform on, and his hair was free and she discovered it reached his shoulders. 

“I almost did not recognise you there.”

He grinned “I know, without soot and dirt on me it must be a challenge.”

She smiled back at him.

“How is your night going?” He asked, moving closer to her.

“Counting the minutes until Dorian tells me it’s okay to go home.”

She shuffled in her position and he placed a hand on her back “you should sit down.”

“Does this place have a balcony?”

Thomas grinned “Follow me, m’lady.”

“Did you meet the mayor?” She asked as they started walking.

“I did.”

“And?”

“He gave me his business card and told me to tell me if there was anything we needed.” He made his way through the crowd.

“Me too. I am going to email him and ask a bucket load of expensive equipment.”

“I have my wish-list ready.” Thomas commented smiling wickedly.

They arrived at the balcony and once there Aelin leaned heavily against the wall.

“Are you okay?” Suddenly Aelin noticed their proximity. Thomas was right in front of her.

“I am fine.”

“Want something to drink?”

“Please. Wine if they have it.”

He smiled and she noticed his dimples appear “I’ll be right back.” And she felt her face flush hot.

What was happening to her? Why all of a sudden she was attracted to him?

She saw Lys walking by and waved at her.

“What are doing here?”

“Hiding.” She said hurriedly “I have a problem.”

“What did you do?”

“I want to do something stupid.”

“As in?”

“Thomas.” She explained.

Lysandra looked at her friend with a puzzled face.

“As in he is the one one I want to … do”

“Holy fuck,” she exclaimed almost spilling all her wine on her uniform.

“How?”

Aelin looked up “I don’t know. He was here, he was nice, he smiled and I just… have you seen him tonight?”

“No I was with Aedion and the guys.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t do… anything.” Then she moved away “he is coming back.”

Thomas came back with the drinks and placed them on the ledge beside them.

She had known and worked with the other captain for a very long time. They had gone through the academy together. And never, not once she had ever felt a smidge of attraction for him.

He leaned against the wall just beside her, shoulders brushing gently “is your team ready for the performance review?”

Aelin nodded “Yes, Aedion and I are going through as many different scenarios as possible. They are ready. But I hate that I will have to stare from the sidelines.” She told him “How did yours go?”

Thomas drank some wine “We had a few bad moments. My newbie fucked up a couple of things and threw the whole team off track for a moment but they did recover splendidly. Manon was the best in our individual challenge.”

“Ohh I like her. Can I please get her and Asterin for my new engine?”

“We’ll see.” The man gave her a wide smile that made his dimples come back.

She pinched his side and he grabbed her hands to block her. She stopped and stared at him for a moment and then they both moved at the same time. Their lips met and he pushed her against the wall and she left her crutches fall on the ground. His hand behind her back to hold her up. The kiss deepened and Aelin opened for him and a small moan escaped her.

“Oh shit.” Said a voice at her side and Aelin recognised Lysandra and Aedion at her side.

She and Thomas broke apart quickly. Thomas coughed embarrassed, looked at Aelin and excused himself.

“What the fuck was that?”

Aelin’s hand went to her mouth, her lips still swollen by the kiss.

Aedion kneeled to pick up her crutches and passed them to her.

In that instant the rest of the team arrived.

“Why is everyone out here? It’s cold.”

“Aedion and I just discovered Aelin making out with Thomas.”

“Do you mean captain Hamilton?” Asked Brullo.

“I thought you liked the silver haired fox.” Added Ansel.

“Are you and Thomas a thing now?” This time it was Ren.

“I don’t know okay?” Aelin shouted, frustration rising “It happened.”

“You… happened to trip on his lips?” Nox gave her a smug smile and Aelin would have stormed out if she hadn’t been on crutches.

Aelin placed the glass back on the ledge and started to walk away. Lysandra caught up with her “I am sorry. It just came out.”

“Lys, I don’t care.”

The woman grabbed her arm “Aelin, please…”

“What? I don’t know what I was doing okay? We kissed. And I don’t understand my feelings anymore.” She leaned against the wall, her knee throbbing with pain “I haven’t known my feelings since Sam died.” She sniffled “I work. I throw myself into work because that it’s when I do not think that he is gone from my life.” She closed her eyes and tried to put all her pain back “it just felt nice for a moment to have that again. And I know I am sounding like a pathetic mess… I don’t know why I did it.” Aelin sobbed “I am so tired of hurting.” A tear appeared at the corner of her eyes “you have Aedion. I don’t have anyone.”

Lysandra hugged her friend “I am so sorry.”

Aelin leaned into her friend “we are fine.” She pulled back “but I am going home. I am in a ton of pain and I really want to lie down.”

“I’ll tell Dorian if he starts looking for you.”

“We are off tomorrow. Fancy a girls day? We can invite Elide and Ansel.”

“Yeah. Yeah, please.”

“Good,” Lys patted her shoulder “now go home and relax.”

She was outside ready to call a taxi when she heard a voice calling her. She turned and saw Thomas running to her.

“Aelin,” he stopped in front of her “I am sorry. I have no idea what got into me. I was there and all of a sudden I wanted to kiss you.”

She turned to him and moved closer enough to kiss him. His hand slipped to her waist and pulled her closer. She melted in his arms and felt his hand caressing her back.

“I was going home.” She said against his lips.

“I can’t let you piss off Havilliard on your own.”

She kissed him again and then detached so he could call a taxi.

Their ride home arrived not long after and the journey to Aelin’s flat was not too long. 

They made it to her flat and he lifted her in his arms and walked to the bedroom. He dropped her on the bed and leaned on top of her and kissed her deeply, his hands trailing on the sides of her body and Aelin leaned into the touch. Her hand trailed up to his face and then fisted into his golden hair and pulled him down for another kiss. Maybe it was a mistake but she could not care.

Slowly he started to unbutton her shirt and Aelin did the same for him and not long after they were both naked and Aelin stared at his body and realised the man was so incredibly well built. 

“You will have to lead the dances, captain.” He lowered himself again over her and kissed her in a way that made her forget all the pain and hurt.

It was later, after their adventure in bed. 

Aelin smiled at him satisfied. The man had skills and for a while he made her forget the real reason why that night she had searched for comfort in him.

They were now sitting in bed, their back against the headboard and the blanket covering them up.

“Did we just mess up our friendship?” He asked turning to her “I am not complaining I just…”

She sighed at his side “I think we did it for the wrong reasons.”

He agreed “Epically awesome rebound sex?”

Aelin nodded and Thomas turned to her “you are stunning though, and if the captain can’t see it, well, it’s his loss.”

“You are a sweet man” and she caressed his face “and your ex is a bitch.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him down, “fancy watching stupid movies? We can also order in. There’s a place round the corner that stays open till late. I had no food at that stupid party.”

“I’ll get the beers.” He said getting off the bed and putting his briefs back on. 

Aelin grabbed a discarded t-shirt “I’ll order the food.”

He came back with the beers and offered one to her “to our own party.”

They clinked the bottles and went to camp on the sofa.

TAGs: 

@rowaelinismyotp

@swankii-art-teacher​

@courtofjurdan

[kitkat404]

For a prompt idea, I would love to see a Kate and Eva wedding

I’m just gonna pull this out if my drafts because I’m kinda proud of it, so enjoy!!

...

They get married in the fall, and more than once, Annleigh has to carefully blot away tears before her makeup can run. Kate and Eva both made the executive decision to wear suits for the ceremony, and Annleigh nearly starts bawling at the sight of them.

“Dresses are so hard to move in,” Kate had explained, “and they’re all either too form fitting or too poofy.”

“Besides, we both look good in suits,” Eva had smirked with that statement, “and they’re so much more comfortable.”

In the end, Annleigh thinks, it was the right call to make. Kate and Eva face each other at the altar, nicely-tailored suits making them both stand tall and confident.

“I, Eva Sydney Sanchez, take you, Katie,”

That receives a few laughs from the crowd, including Kate, though it’s very watery.

“Katelyn Rose Dalton, as my lawfully wedded wife, to love and to Cherish, to embrace, and to set free. You took a tired, lost soul, and you made her whole and happy again. And each day, I will be grateful, I am grateful, for everything you’ve given to me.”

As Eva speaks through her vows, Annleigh rests her hand on the edge of the empty seat next to her. She doesn't know who's choice it was to leave seats open in their row for Clark, Farrah, and Chess, but she's grateful for it.

When she glances over, for a moment, she can see a flash of an image. Chess, in a stylish navy blue jumpsuit, trying to subtly wipe tears from her eyes without looking away from her best friend. Farrah, wearing a purple, flower print dress, leaning back in her chair and trying to pretend she doesn't care despite the way her lips twitch with a barely concealed smile. And Clark, looking dapper in a light blue button-down and dark slacks, an easy smile gracing his lips as Eva gazes at Kate with such adoring fondness. He turns his head toward her, and for a moment, their eyes lock. His smile turns sad, Annleigh feels a cold brush against her fingers, and then he's gone, taking Farrah and Chess with him.

“So now I take you, my friend, my best friend, my teammate, and the love of my life, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for now, for always, for the rest of our lives.”

Annleigh turns back to the wedding, smiling as Kate has to dab at a few tears before she begins her own vows.

“I don’t really know how to follow that, and I’m not really good at preparing things in advance, I guess I’m winging this,” Kate chuckles, garnering some laughs, Eva gives her a soft smile.

“So, here I am, looking at you. And this is what I know: I have loved you since the moment I saw you. Loved you an feared you, well, not you, but this. I have been so terrified to love this profoundly. I never thought I was deserving of it, that I would always be left behind and forgotten. But not anymore. For good and for bad, for great and for hard, for the tough calls and the choices that just seem second nature. I am here, I am yours. Eva Sanchez, I choose you. I promise to honor you and cherish you, and while I will not obey you, per se,”

Again, she’s met with quiet laughter, and Eva shakes her head fondly, knowing full well that Kate’s free spirit will never let her be held down.

“I will always hear you, and I will keep loving you, one moment after another, one day at a time.”

They’re both sniffling now, tears barely kept at bay by blinding smiles. Annleigh sees more than a few people surreptitiously pulling out tissues.

Taking that as her cue, Cairo stands from her seat and passes Eva the rings, which have been kept safe in the pocket of her dress until this moment.

With soft, loving eye contact, Eva carefully slips one of the silver bands onto Kate’s finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed.”

“Thank you,” Kate giggles, “but I think you have the wrong ring.”

Eva glances down and, sure enough, the ring she’s holding is just a bit too big for Kate’s smaller hand.

They both laugh, along with many others, As Eva switches the rings so she’s holding the correct one.

“With this ring, I thee wed.”

This time, the ring slips over Kate’s finger and stays there, and Kate grins as she plucks the remaining band from Eva’s open palm.

“With this ring, I thee wed.”

Annleigh stands and cheers with everyone else as the couple locks lips, giving Cairo a small jab in the ribs and a teasing smirk as she wipes away a tear. Her former captain rolls her eyes, never losing her proud smile.

As she watches Kate and Eva dancing later that night, Annleigh takes a moment to reflect on how far they've all come. Sure, they all still have some bad days, but in the years following everything that happened, Annleigh has slowly gotten better. She's not perfect, she never will be, but it's so much easier to pull herself out of bed than it was a few years ago.

Mattie waves to her from where she and Reese are doing a very jazzed-up version of the Macarena, and Annleigh smiles a little bigger. She drops a flower beside the three candles that have been lit near the door to the outside gardens and joins the rest of her team on the dance floor.

...

Why is it from Annleigh’s perspective? That’s a whole different story XD Sorry it took me so long to answer this, writing vows is hard, but I’m really proud of how it turned out and I hope y’all like it as much as I do.

[poison--ivory]

Haikyuu! Hc’s (Inarizaki/Fem!Reader)Quirks

Characters: Ren Omimi, Aran Ojiro, Hitoshi Ginjima, Atsumu Miya, Osamu Miya, Rintaro Suna, Heisuke Riseki and Michinari Akagi

(I did Kita on the captains one I did. The link is down below)

link

Warnings: Fluff, Cursing and NSFW

Omimi- Thunder Valley

Omimi’s quirk was an accumulation quirk, which means he has to build up his power in order for his quirk to work. His quirk was much like All Might’s, but with less force involved with it

He didn’t ask you out up front, but Atsumu did. The Miya twin literally walked right up to you and told you in front of everyone in your classroom

 He thinks the way you snort when you laugh is pretty cute in of itself

Even if he’s not going to be a hero he still trains his quirk on the down low, so that later in life it doesn’t become an inconvenience

Cuddles with him are always warm doesn’t matter what position he’s in, little spoon or big spoon, there’s always a great amount of heat

When sex came into the question further down the line of your relationship he made sure to take every precaution into question. His quirk ran on emotion (mostly anger) and he wanted to make sure that it didn’t go off during any sexual acts

Fingering was always a iffy subject, anything dealing with his hands were

Ojiro- Electric Fist

Aran’s quirk an emitter quirk allowing him to electrify anything and anyone, downside is that only his hands are the ones emitting the electricity

Your in one of his classes and he would be lying if he said he didn’t noticed you. In fact he paid close attention to every tiny thing you did, from taking notes, speaking, walking, etc.

The type of person to deny that he even had a crush on you. But, only confessed when the Miya twins got involved, especially Atsumu. He did it in the form of a medium sized gift basket

Likes that your laugh is kind of strange, it makes you sort of special in a sense

Always makes up an excuse to hold your hand. “I had to get you out of the crowded hallway.” He’s a pretty bad liar, can’t come up with a good excuse to save his life

His quirk goes off too easily when he gets ‘excited’, so he buys specialized rubber gloves in order to touch you properly

He loves it when you ride him backwards. He’s kind of an ‘ass man’, so facing away from him really gets him going

Ginjima- Spirit Whip

Ginjima’s quirk is also an emitter quirk his quirk allows him to throw his soul out of his body and into other living being; dogs, cats, birds, humans, etc.

 Gin knew he had a major crush on you and it was completely obvious to everyone and you

He didn’t really confess more like you had to bring it out of him. Celebrated to his teammates that he finally got a girlfriend

Goes on long dates with you, even after a grueling session of practice he takes you out for lovely date. Nearly overdid himself to the point of passing out, so now you both just laze around for most dates

Loves to show off his quirk to impress you. But, gets scolded by Kita for taking over Atsumu’s body 

His quirk gets compared to Ino from Naruto, and gets pretty insecure about it. So, be wary on how you talk about his quirk

His quirk went off during his first time with you. As soon as he climaxed his soul flew out and into his pet fish

Atsumu- Pyromancer

Atsumu’s quirk is an emitter type, permitting his quirk to shoot out flames from any part of his body. Cocky as hell when fangirls tell him is quirk is one of a kind, his brother says otherwise

Atsumu asked you out without any dithering. He wasn’t ashamed at all that he purposely asked you out in front of the whole volleyball team

Girls would sneakily use their quirks on you as payback for going out with Tsumu

He didn’t really do anything until he actually saw it happening with his own eyes

Your boyfriend is more than just cocky chiefly about his quirk. Like you could be laying on his chest and he just brings up his flame quirk and then brags about it non stop

Since he always brags about his quirk, he makes sure that he could back it up. Exercises his flames on a daily basis, so it not likely it would set off during sex

Except for the one time his hands got too hot riding him and he had to take you to the emergency room for third degree burns

Osamu- Hydromancer

Osamu’s quirk is also an emitter type, and just like his twin can squirt water out of any body part. Cool thing about his quirk is that he can spray his brother whenever he gets a hot head

Osamu was up front about liking you, too. Gave you a weirdly made bento that spelled, “Will U Go Out With Me?” 

Spends most of his free time with you. His favorite thing to do is cook with you or for you. Only makes enough for you and him, so when Atsumu comes in to eat there’s nothing left 

Loves to spray you with his quirk, but doesn’t his own strength. Like the one time he blasted you in the back so hard it left a dark bruise in the center of your shoulders

Expect to see quirk fights between the twins. The whole room steams up rapidly like a full on sweat sauna in under thirty minutes

Kisses are usually long and sweet. He’ll try to rub his sweat off on you after practice, so you both have to take a shower afterward

He tried having sex in the storage room at school and his quirk set off as you gave him head. Leaving you dripping wet and people questioning you why you switched uniforms

Suna- Lethargy

Suna’s quirk is an accumulation quirk allowing himself to get tired  on a daily basis builds up his strength. If he were to take a hero path this is his excuse for sleeping during class

He wasn’t going to tell you his feelings until Osamu started pressuring him into exposing them

He’s a lazy lover, so assume that a lot of dates are inside or close by. However, if your more of an energetic person he’ll try to be a little more open minded

Cuddles with you before practice and after practice. If your in another classroom he’ll sit you on his lap before class starts to get in his daily affection

Kisses your neck a lot even if other see him, he doesn’t care. Did it in front of a teacher once and had to clean the classroom by himself

He likes it when you spend time with his friends, maybe not Atsumu, but Osamu and Aran watch over you when he not around

Suna’s quirk wouldn’t go off after of during sex. Yet, he does tend to pass out after any type of sexual favor

Riseki- Diamond

Riseki’s quirk is a transformation quirk covering his whole body in a diamond layer, eats a lot of barbeque to keep up his hardening. Accidently blocked off his airways in his full body transformation

It’s quite ironic that his quirk harden the outside, but can’t harden his feelings

His reputation isn’t quite the best with most of his classmates, so when you asked him out he thought you were making a joke. Especially after his screw up at their last game. The whole school booed him

This guy loves holding your hand, but doesn’t do it in public as much. Until you reasoned with him that he shouldn’t be ashamed of people seeing them together

He loves how you can stand up for yourself, it gives him the confidence to stand his ground more often

His teammates tease him for kissing you outside the gym when they have practice. Teasing him even more when they catch him making out with you in the locker room

You both decide to have vaginal sex, but it turned ugly soon after. He grew rock hard after his first orgasm and cut the top of your pelvic pretty bad

Akagi- Bright Light

Akagi’s quirk is a mutant quirk it illuminates his whole body at all times, even on the lowest setting is still noticeable. Watching movies in general is awful if everyone around you hates your dim gleam

He had help from Aran and Kita to help him gather the courage on asking you out. Was a lot more confident after a quick pep talk from 

Goes on a variety of cute dates with you on the weekend. Even drops by your classroom to set gifts he bought for you. Makes homemade gifts that he thinks you would find adorable

He can’t turn off his quirk so whenever it’s late outside he’s literally your human nightlight. Sometimes younger kids run around him calling him “Twinkle Star”

Hugs you from behind turn into picking you up and swinging your body back and forth. Pretty strong so it doesn’t matter what body type you are

His main concern is his weight, so he tries to watch what he eats. Fails miserably, but with your help he’ll get through it. You stop eating some your favorite fatty snacks in front of him and make him something nutritious for his diet

His quirk sprung to a full shining, glare of light when he recieved a hand job. To make it any worse it was pretty dark in the room besides the t.v., so seeing his body erupt with light is kind of cute

[captainrexisboo]

Comfort pt 4: Decisions

IT’S HERE. I’ve been working on this chapter for months. Hopefully it was worth the struggle ahaha. Partially took so long because I’ve been feeling better! I have a great support system in place, and so getting to this point was really just a matter of putting myself back into the exhaustive mindset. That said, I’m able to work myself back out of it (thank you therapy)! Working on part 5 as y’all are reading this, let’s see if it takes me another two months to pump it out lmaoooo. But seriously, thank you guys for your kind words and support, love y’all!!!

No warnings apply, aside from general sadness and self-doubt. Also pining. Rex x Reader, reader is a woman, questions and comments always welcome. Also I need to write Ahsoka more.

Tagging: @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @000ayfh @pinkiemme @midnightredemption @simping-for-fives @danger-xylophones @iscream4clones @jyvorakal @leias-left-hair-bun @vesperstalksclones

Link To Previous

Link to Next

~

“So you’ll be seeing him today?” 

Rex walked straight to you after the briefing, squeezing his hands behind his back. You were going to be separating for the day, him with Cody to go greet some new troopers and introduce them to their assigned battalions, yourself accompanying Admiral Yularen as he was invited to surprise inspect some nat born recruits. Sergeant Aurin’s recruits. You sighed, rolling your eyes, “Not by choice, Captain.”

“I know,” he grumbled, modulator muffling his voice even more, “Be careful, alright? I don’t trust this guy.”

“We’ll be at a work function, I don’t think he’ll try anything. Especially since I’ll be with the Admiral this time instead of his ‘competition’,” you stood as tall as you could, chin high as you tried to gather your courage, masking your clear anxiousness with a sly grin. Besides, teasing the Captain always made you feel better. No one has corrected your ex about you and Rex yet, and frankly you wanted to keep it that way.

Rex chuckled low, the sound a little hollow, looking off to the side as he shifted on his feet, “I just want you to be alright.”

“If I’m not, I will be,” you gave him an all too wide smile, one you knew he saw right through as he cocked his head to the side, “Promise, Captain.”

You bid Rex goodbye with a salute, one he returned before turning on his heel to meet the Marshal Commander. You gathered your datapad before following the Admiral through the halls. He was a stoic and serious man, one that cared about the men assigned to him, and was able to use his wit calmly even in the most dire of situations. His level-headedness made him a good offset for the very action oriented General Skywalker, and typically you were thankful to be lucky enough getting assigned to him. But not today.

“Are you feeling alright, Miss Y/N?” he looked back to see you trailing behind him as opposed to being on his left as usual. He stood just as straight as Rex, not quite as tall, looking at you with eyes that reminded you vaguely of your father’s, and suddenly you couldn’t even begin to think about lying to him.

“Not especially, Admiral,” you chuckled sheepishly, “But I’m fine to continue with you, sir. I just have to gather myself is all.”

He stood in place, letting you catch up, only speaking when he fell into step with you again, “I don’t suppose you consider me close enough to tell me the issue? I can perhaps assist in finding a way to resolve it?”

“It’s not like that, sir,” you shook your head, picking up the pace as if to run away from the conversation, “I can handle it just fine. We should hurry, the Sergeant is waiting for us.”

He didn’t say anything after that, just raised a brow at your averted gaze before turning his head forward again. You knew he didn’t believe you, but gracious that he respected your request to drop the subject. You bit your tongue, an attempt to keep you focused on something other than the burrowing feeling of your stomach, or the quickly restricting muscle in your throat. The closer you got to the nat born barracks, the harder you bit down. Still, you moved forward, thinking about any way you could deflect an attempt to talk.

If he said hello, you’d just nod and say just the one word back.

If he asked how you were, you’d say fine.

If he pries, you’d ask him calmly to leave you alone.

You will not lose your cool. You will not break your wall. Your mask will not crack; you’ll be ice.

But then the strangest thing happened. He ignored you. He barely looked you in the eye when you walked up, talking only to the Admiral. You only stammered out a single hi when the Admiral introduced you to the other officers standing with Aurin. You were there, frozen and eyes wide as you clenched your jaw, steeling yourself for the offence to come- but it never did. The Admiral entered the barracks with one of Aurin’s officers, while the Sergeant stood outside next to you. The tension was thick, causing you to unconsciously shuffle on the balls of your feet. You continued to bite your tongue, trying to keep your thoughts occupied as he stood stock straight next to you.

You thought about that huge stack of reports to go through when you got back, courtesy of the General’s leadership tactics and the general 501st chaos.

You thought about how you promised Commander Tano that you’d pick up the special tea blend she liked before heading back to the flagship.

You thought about how you were going to run to Rex as soon as you both had a free moment, and you thought about how you had no idea that silence could be so blaringly loud.

You had switched from biting your tongue to chewing your lip, twisting a stray lock of hair between your fingertips as the silent moment dragged on, your anxiety digging deeper and deeper into your gut. You stole a glance at him out of the corner of your eye, seeing as he gulped down a breath. But that was all you saw- the inspection was over, the Admiral was shaking hands and saluting goodbye to the Sergeant and his men. You barely got a nodding glance.

This is what you wanted, right?

This is what you told him you needed, he was listening to you- that’s good, it’s a step in the right direction. Right?

You had asked for this.

So then why did it hurt so much.

You were silent the entire way back to the flagship, saying a minimal amount of words to be polite to anyone who came up to you. The interaction (or lack thereof) consumed your thoughts wholly afterwards while you ran a few routine errands before making your way back to the flagship, causing you to just barely remember to pick up and give the Commander her tea. The kind, knowledgeable Padawan immediately noticed something was the matter in your thousand yard stare, clasping her hands over yours in concern, the tea now just an afterthought, “Y/N, what’s the matter? Do you need something?”

You gave the young Jedi a dull, thoughtful look, corners of your mouth barely turning up, “I can’t seem to lie to anyone today. No, Commander, I don’t need anything right now, but thank you for your consideration. I’ll be at the desk in the Admiral’s office should anyone need me.”

You bid Ahsoka goodbye with a small nod, walking down the corridor without an ounce of your usual spirit. Ahsoka looked down at the tin in her hand, weighing the tea blend absentmindedly. She was young, but certainly not stupid, she knew exactly who you needed to see. Gripping the present tight, she ran through the flagship until she got to the office she was looking for, not even bothering to knock.

“Rex!” she burst through the door, the Captain she was looking for dropped his head as his fingers came up to rub at the bridge of his nose.

“Vod’ika,” he grumbled, laying down his stylus, “I can’t entertain you every time you get bored-”

“I’m not here for that, it’s Y/N,” Ahsoka cut him off, taking three purposeful steps and slamming her hands on the desk, prompting Rex to look up into her sky blue eyes, shining with worry. His own widened as he stood up from his desk, not even bothering to grab his helmet as he followed Ahsoka out into the echoing hall.

“What’s wrong? Is she injured?”

“No, physically she seems fine,” Ahsoka explained, stepping quickly and talking quicker as she led Rex to Yularen’s office, “But she seems really sad, and she didn’t want to talk to me about it. I know you and her are pretty close, so I thought-”

“We need to stop by the kitchen.”

Ahsoka paused, looking back to see Rex already walking down the turn toward the mess. She jogged to catch up to him, breathing out a snort of laughter, “I mean, I didn’t think now was the time to think about food, Rexster.”

“It’s not,” Rex rolled his eyes at the nickname gesturing an arm out as if the explanation lay right in front of her, “It’s for Y/N. She likes to talk over caf, if I bring her some, chances are she’ll let me stay and whatever’s happening in her little head we can discuss. And if she doesn’t feel like talking still, the caf will act as a reminder she has people to talk to whenever she’s ready.”

Ahsoka blinked at him. She didn’t expect this amount of thoughtfulness from her ori’vod, and the gears in her mind started turning. An impish grin took over her face, canines flashing as she slunk up beside the soldier, “You know, Y/N is really nice…”

Rex raised an eyebrow, immediately suspicious as he held the mess door open for the Padawan, “Yes...she is…”

“She’s awfully lucky to have someone like you looking out for her, getting her caf, talking over administrative work, visiting each other’s offices during hyperspace jumps…” Ahsoka took a bit of a pause, stopping just inside the eating area, waiting for Rex to walk right by her to whisper just to him, “...giving each other really long hugs when you think no one’s around.”

Rex paused in his step, unable to stop a ruddy blush from heating over his face. Kriff. He cleared his throat, straightening up, “How’d you find that out, Commander?”

Ahsoka shrugged, giving him a wiggle of her brows, “Security cams, Rex ol’boy. Did you really not think about those?”

Rex groaned, squeezing his eyes shut, “I didn’t think anyone looked at the recordings…”

“Not many clones do,” Ahsoka explained, “We’ve got a lot of nat born officers in the surveillance offices. And boy, sir- do they love their gossip.”

Rex continued his trek to the instant caf machine, exhaling heavily as he surrendered to the teasing he was being subjected to. He rolled his eyes, getting two insulated tumblers to fill, as he started the machine, “Where are you even going with this, Commander?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” she giggled, latching onto Rex’s arm excitedly, bobbing on her toes as she jabbed a finger into his pauldron, “You like her!”

“And?” Rex deadpanned, switching a full cup for an empty one at the dispensing nozzle, “I’m not gonna deny what’s obvious, and I get plenty of osik from the rest of torrent about it anyways, who don’t know about the...the, uh, hugging-”

“So why don’t you do anything about it, dummy?”

Ahsoka was about to give him a headache.

“When she and I first started actually talking, she had gone through a really emotional break up,” Rex treaded carefully, this wasn’t his story to tell, but it was the bare-bones basic of how his friendship with you had grown, so it seemed like a good place to start, “I offered her my support, and I’ve kind of become her confidant since then. I’m not going to ‘make a move’ or anything, not until she says something. She’s still healing, Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka had stopped bouncing, mulling over Rex’s words. Rex was pouring in your preferred cream and sugar ratio, having memorized just how you like it, almost meticulous in the act. He picked up the cafs, walking steady, careful not to spill, “Where is she, her desk?”

Ahsoka nodded, mind still turning as she followed Rex out of the mess, “So you’re just gonna be there and listen to her problems until she decides that she likes you too?”

“Yup.”

“Does she listen to your problems too?”

“If I feel the need to talk about them, yes.”

Ahsoka stops in front of him, hands on her hips and eyebrow raised, “And what if she decides that she likes someone else instead?”

Rex’s shoulders slump for a moment, looking a little crestfallen, lips downturned and eyes shifting off to the side as a sad shine comes over them, “I’m not naive, I understand how big of a possibility that is. If she makes that decision, then that’s her decision. I can’t force someone to like me-”

“But does she know you’re even an option?”

That made Rex stop mid-stride. Surely you knew he was, right? He thinks back on the past few months, the things you’ve both confided, the tears you’ve shed, the countless moments you’ve both spent in each other’s comforting embraces. Your laughter. Your quiet moments. Surely… you knew, right?

The silence stretched, and Ahsoka looked too smug for her own good as she crossed her arms, chin up with full confidence, “I think you should tell her.”

Rex shook his head, taking himself out of his trance before he began walking again, “I don’t know-”

“It doesn’t have to be today,” Ahsoka clarified, falling into step beside him, “But you should. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, or one of your attempts at flirting-”

“Hey, I can flirt-”

“-just a brief confession.” Ahsoka pitched her voice low, what she thought would be a mimic of his voice, “Y/N, I need you to know I have enjoyed getting to know you, and that I find you extremely attractive, so much so that just holding you distracts me from thinking about the simplest of things, like the surveillance crew that’s always watching-”

“Hush up,” Rex hissed out, now just a couple of feet away from Yularen’s office. He wasn’t nervous, he couldn’t be nervous about talking with you, the both of you talked all the time, about everything. But actually dwelling on his feelings for you out loud with Ahsoka, acknowledging his emotions outright to another sentient did make him more, um, aware of the situation. Suddenly he was transported back in time, on the landing pad, leaning on the ship’s hull and waiting for you to board with your tear glazed eyes and trembling lips. He froze for a beat, staring at the closed doors, swallowing a breath. When did his throat get so dry? He let out a slow exhale through his mouth, almost whispering to himself, “I’ve been in this position so many times already… why does this time feel like the first again?”

“Maybe you’re getting tired of waiting,” Ahsoka offered, looking up to him and giving him an encouraging pat on the shoulder, “Maybe you’ve made a decision.”

She walked away in that moment, leaving Rex to fend for himself from his own thoughts. Damn Jedi and their cryptic messages. He rolled his neck and shoulders, letting his eyes fall shut as he breathed through his nose, trying to calm himself back down. After he felt himself loosen up a little bit, he pressed the call button by the entrance door.

“Admiral Yularen is on the bridge. If you have something for him to sign, leave it in the-”

“Y/N, it’s me,” Rex interrupted your rehearsed response, already feeling his posture tense back up, “I brought you caf.”

It was just static for the moment, your finger still on the speaker button. After a couple of seconds it clicked off, and the doors hissed open. Rex took a last steadying breath, and took the final steps inside.

[softpine]

Have you played lis 2? Or lis before the storm?

yes! i’ve played all of them many manyyy times :’) this is my list from best to worst:

the awesome adventures of captain spirit - this game gets no love and i don’t know why?? it’s so good for being such a short, FREE game?? they nailed the feelings of a little kid dealing with an alcoholic/abusive family member. they did an excellent job of portraying chris’ life as normal to him, without romanticizing or making excuses for chris’ dad. and they still managed to make the game feel fun and like you were actually playing from the point of view of a real child. and it was SUCH a cool way to tease LIS2. so i’m ranking it at the very top, because my enjoyment of it is honestly astounding considering how short of a game this is. 

life is strange (1) - i’ve already talked enough about my love for this one, i won’t bore you fjkjsf

life is strange 2 - this one would have been my new favorite if the pacing was just a little bit better. some episodes (like the 1st) were packed full of so many different events & character development moments, and then other episodes (the 2nd) were slower and showed less of the characters’ personalities. but i love that they not only incorporated diversity into this game, but they made it meaningful. you would never be able to switch sean or daniel out for white characters and still have the same story. plus, i just loved playing every minute of this. it made me feel literally every emotion on the human spectrum. nothing fell flat imo!

before the storm - ...... i liked the gay parts. that’s it. it was so slow, the plot meant nothing for the rest of the games, and the rachel in BTS did not match the rachel that i crafted in my mind while playing the original LIS. so many things that happened in BTS contradict future events. everything about it felt like a fanfiction to me, and a slow, boring one, at that :/

and i’m sooo excited for true colors!! i hope it ranks towards the top, though i’m just a LITTLE bit nervous that it’s being made by deck nine, the ones who made BTS. i hope they don’t let me down, that would make me really sad :(