#Cody burns like the sun

[chiliger]

Idk I’m a sucker for glowing eyes

Might do more

[woso-dreamzzz]

Treat You Better III

Laia Codina x Reader

Summary: You visit Spain

The language barrier posed a bit of a problem but you could get past that.

The food posed a bit of a problem but you could get past that too.

What you couldn't get past was the topless sunbathing.

You weren't prudish by any means. But you were Irish and the beaches you usually went to in Ireland were full of pebbles. You didn't sunbathe in Ireland. You just hoped that you didn't get taken out by a wave.

Spanish beaches were different though. They were sandy and the sea was calm and all of Laia's friends were stripping off their bikini tops and lying out in the sun.

Your eyebrows shot up to your hairline at how easily everyone did it. You hadn't experienced much cultural issues moving from Ireland to England but now you were getting the experience that Laia did.

Moving from Spain to England was a big thing, full of cultural differences that she had to adapt too. Now you're doing the same.

You didn't know the rules surrounding this so you just decided to avert your eyes and pretend that it wasn't happening.

You sat under an umbrella and contemplated whether it was rude to just duck into a shop and stay there until everyone was ready to go.

"You aren't sunbathing?"

"I'm Irish, luv," You say," I don't tan well. I burn."

"Katie tans."

"Yeah, she got lucky. I didn't."

Laia wiggles under the umbrella with you. She's shirtless just like her friends but you don't feel awkward looking at her. You've seen her naked countless times. Seeing her topless seems a little tame in comparison.

Seeing her friends and other world class footballers shirtless was a little different.

"You don't tan at all?" She pouts at you," I could have sworn you did in Australia."

"You were watching me back then?" You laugh," You little stalker."

Her cheeks turn pink. "I thought you were very pretty. It is a shame you won't try to tan here."

"I'll burn," You insist," And we'll go back to London and Katie will tease me. I'm not attempting it."

"But you tan! I know you do! I've seen it!"

"It's too much effort," You say nonchalantly," I'm happy here. I might go and buy an ice cream. I'm fine, luv."

She looks at you suspiciously, her pout getting bigger and bigger the more you attempt to get away.

"Leave her alone, Codi!" You hear someone yell, Mariona you think.

"I'm just wearing her down!" Laia yells back with a teasing smile," Don't ruin this for me!"

"Ruin this for you?" You echo," I see how it is. You want to see me topless."

She tries to deny it but her stuttered words betray her true attention.

"You're cute, luv, but no, I'm not stripping in front of your friends."

"Why not? You're not insecure are you?" Her words come out in a stream, interspersed with random kisses pressed to your face. "Because you're so beautiful and you're stunning and I think you're so much prettier than all of my friends and you shouldn't feel insecure about something like this."

"Laia-"

"Because you have nothing to feel insecure about. And I love you and-"

"Laia-"

"You should never feel bad about your body and-"

"Laia! Luv, shut up. I'm not insecure. I know I have a good body but...These are your friends and they're topless."

Laia frowns. "I don't understand."

You laugh. "It'd be like if we went to the beach with Katie and Caitlin and they whipped their tops off. You would feel a little awkward, wouldn't you?"

You can see Laia think it over for a moment. She turns it over in her mind. You can see the moment she imagines Katie topless because her eyes suddenly squeeze shut.

"I see," She admits," But you promise you do not feel insecure?"

"I promise," You say, laying a kiss on her lips," Just feeling a little awkward. I'm sure after a few more trips I'll feel more comfortable."

She beams. "You want to come back?"

You roll your eyes. "Yes, Laia. This is your home. These are your friends. Of course, I want to come back."

She attacks you with kisses, pinning you against your beach towel.

"Codi!" One of her friends call," Stop kissing your girlfriend! I want to go paddle boarding!"

"Go, luv," You laugh, pushing her away," We have lots of time later."

[translucent-sun]

“Am I even allowed to be here?” Cody asked as they walked through the temple. The war room, other parts that were now used for military purposes, sure. But the depths of the temple, the Jedi´s home? 

“You´re here on my invite,” Obi-Wan chuckled. “But even if I hadn´t, you´re always welcome in the temple. You all are.” 

When they finally reached the door to Obi-Wan´s quarters and quick fingers flew over the datapad by the door, it opened with a quiet hiss. Cody waited until Obi-Wan had fully stepped into the room before carefully leaned forward, taking a look around what he could see of the room. He was waiting for Obi-Wan´s OK to step in, but instead was pulled inside by his arm. Now seeing the full extent of the quarters, his mouth almost fell open.

“This is nice,” he said. The room was bigger than any single person´s room he´d ever seen, with a big window spanning almost an entire wall. Which Obi-Wan now walked towards, shutting the blinds partly.

“Well, I suppose it is more room than I really need,” Obi-Wan said, something in his tone of voice almost apologetic. But it was probably true. There wasn´t much in the room. A simple table to work and to eat from. Two cushions in the middle of the room, likely for meditation or whatever Jedi did in their free time. A wardrobe. Cody couldn´t help but to wonder how many identical robes it housed, and the thought almost made him chuckle. 

The other side of the room held a small counter, though the only thing on it was a kettle and a handful of mismatched mugs. A narrow bed was standing against the wall, surrounded by wooden boards that served as shelves, overfilled with… Stuff. Most of it seemed so random. He looked at it all for a moment, unable to decide what to really look at first, fascinated. 

“What is all this?” Obi-Wan smiled, passing Cody to take a little wooden cube off one shelf. 

“Little trinkets from places, planets I´ve visited. Some I didn´t visit. A lot of them used to belong to my Master.” 

His small smile remained the same, but his eyes betrayed him. “This particular one was a gift from a little girl I met on a mission. Her name was Da’laa,” he said before placing the cube back in its place, already moving on to the next. Cody wanted to ask him about it, but he felt it wasn´t his place. He´d have to do that some other time, some day in the future when they´d gotten to know each other better. 

This time, he motioned for Cody to put out his hand, and Obi-Wan placed the next object inside. Cody almost jerked back when he felt its warmth, but Obi-Wan held his hand in place, closing Cody´s fingers around it.

“What is this?” Cody asked, aware that he wasn´t able to hide his surprise. Obi-Wan chuckled, letting go of his hand, allowing him to take a look at it. A small rock was lying in his palm, seemingly burning from the inside, its bright orange glow cracking through the otherwise dark surface. Cody had never seen anything like it.

“It´s a bahryn meteorite. Well, a small piece of one,” he explained, looking at it in Cody´s hand, smiling. “It´s like a tiny sun, isn´t it? Keeping you warm, lighting up the darkness. Quite ironically, it´s an ice moon they are found on.”

“It´s beautiful,” Cody said. He inspected it for a moment longer before he handed it back to Obi-Wan and watched him as he carefully put it back in its place. “Even on a moon made of ice there has to be some warmth. Almost like a reward. You probably appreciate it a lot more after almost freezing to death.” From the corner of his eye he saw Obi-Wan watching him curiously.

“I didn´t know you were so poetic,” Obi-Wan said, something that could so easily sound mocking. But it was genuine. Embarrassed, Cody turned.

“You know all there is to know about me,” he countered. Obi-Wan hummed, passing him to put on the kettle.

“I doubt that,” he said, and something about his certainty made Cody want to argue. Before he could, though, Obi-Wan continued. “What´s your favorite color?” The question took him aback. 

“What?” No one had ever asked him that, and yet he found that he didn´t have to think about the answer. Obi-Wan started to repeat the question, but Cody interrupted him. “Green.” Obi-Wan nodded.

“Why?” Cody hesitated. Obi-Wan poured two cups of tea, and even while setting them down, he never stopped looking at Cody for longer than a moment, expectantly. He gestured for him to sit.

“Thank you,” he took the cup Obi-Wan pushed towards him. He hesitated for a moment longer. “Growing up on Kamino…” he began, fumbling with the cup´s handle. “Well, you know what Kamino looks like. I´d never seen trees or grass or anything like that before we left to continue our training here. I´d heard descriptions, variations of what General Ti must have told some of my brothers when we were kids, and they modified it with each telling until it sounded mystical, with glowing leaves and shimmering meadows, whispering in the wind. So before I first saw any of that, I loved the idea of it.” Obi-Wan listened intently, a small smile on his lips.

“Did it look the way you expected it to?” he asked, and Cody huffed.

“Absolutely not. I was disappointed, to be honest. It was just green. But I think it was experiencing it for the first time that made me love the color anyway.” Obi-Wan smiled fondly.

“See? That´s two things I didn´t know about you.” Cody averted his gaze, trying to keep their eyes from meeting. He really hadn´t intended to discuss private matters like that with anyone, so why was it so easy with Obi-Wan? Something about his presence made him want to open up, tell him everything about his past, his thoughts and dreams. It sounded so good, so easy, that for a second, it outweighed the ridiculousness of it and he felt his heartrate rise, a strange feeling spreading through his stomach. 

“So what is yours, then?” he asked, ignoring the feeling. Obi-Wan smiled, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I love the colors of the sunrise. Its changing hues and the promise of a new day…” Cody smiled as he watched Obi-Wan get caught up in the thought.

“I didn´t know you were so poetic,” Cody said through a grin.

“Are you teasing me, Commander?” Obi-Wan asked, his tone serious, and Cody felt heat rise in his cheeks.

“I wouldn´t dare to.” There was that feeling in his stomach again. In his chest now, too. Obi-Wan´s serious face fell and his smile returned, growing bigger the longer he looked at Cody. And Cody´s heart was racing, the sound in his ears muffling everything around him. If he wasn´t already sitting, he´d be sure that he was going to faint. It would be so easy now to give in to his feelings, to lean across the table and kiss Obi-Wan. To walk him backwards towards his bed until they stumble onto it, to— Cody wrapped his fingers tightly around the hot mug in his hands, trying to ground himself in reality. It didn´t help much, though. He tried to force the thought out of his mind. Could Obi-Wan sense what he was feeling? Did the Force work like that? Cody hoped not. 

“So, Abrion Bridge,” he changed the topic, watching as the smile faded from Obi-Wan´s face. 

The next hour or so was a painful one, talking about their failure. It was hard to think of it as anything but. They´d gotten what they went there for, but at a cost so high that it felt pointless. They concluded that there was nothing they could´ve done to change a second of it. Obi-Wan gathered the papers that were spread over the entire desk between them. He´d insisted on making notes and drawing alternative plans on paper, saying that it would help them get a better overview rather than their datapads. And Cody had been amazed at the simple fact that he had paper. Though it made sense for the temple, for the Jedi. It almost had something spiritual, compared to the cold, soulless feeling of the technology and its cold, blue light. Obi-Wan rolled them up now and placed them in the bin, sighing. He headed towards his bed, sitting on the edge and letting himself fall back. Cody had risen too, and was now looking at him, unsure of what to do. Without looking up, Obi-Wan patted the empty space beside him, and Cody hesitated. Could he do that? His feet decided he could before his mind had processed the thought, and he was sitting on the edge beside him.

“I want this all to be over,” Obi-Wan suddenly said. “This war, the endless battles, being told that another person you grew up with has been killed. This endless pain.” Cody wasn´t sure what to say. He turned to him, but Obi-Wan still wasn´t looking.

“I never knew anything else,” he tried, carefully. Finally, Obi-Wan took a deep breath, turning his head to face him.

“But how do you take it? Those men are your brothers. How do you deal with losing hundreds, thousands of them at a time?” His voice sounded so close to breaking, desperate for answers. Answers Cody couldn´t give him. None that would change a thing.

“Well, we were trained from early on, to—we were taught that we were expendable. Where ten of us are killed, they will send ten new ones. They´ll send hundred new ones, a thousand if necessary. I´m not sure if we´re not physically capable of processing it too deeply or for too long, or if we were just trained to pretend that we are fine with it. It is painful every time. But there´s nothing we can do. If we don´t believe we´re expendable ourselves, we might just go insane realizing what´s happening.” Cody huffed, and Obi-Wan stared at him, eyes wide. Cody shrugged. “This is the only purpose we have. We were made for war. They would probably prefer if we couldn´t think on our own at all.”

“You´re awfully aware of something you say you´re not supposed to be aware of.” Obi-Wan´s voice was quiet, sad. “Why is that?” Cody had never thought about why. It just was.

“I´m not sure,” he admitted. “I have just always felt it. Deep down I always knew what was happening.” Obi-Wan hummed, turning back to stare at the ceiling once again, seemingly unsure of what to say.

“I wish we could´ve met under different circumstances.” Cody smiled.

“Under different circumstances, we wouldn´t have met at all,” Cody reminded him and Obi-Wan sighed.

“I know. I just wish we could have a normal friendship, one that isn´t centered around death and destruction and loss.” Cody´s breath stocked for a moment. Obi-Wan considered him a friend. Of course he knew they´d gotten close, but Obi-Wan calling him a friend? Cody knew brotherhood, he´d experienced it thousands of times, but friendship? Was this what friendship felt like? The tingling in his chest when he looked at Obi-Wan lying there, his face contorted in frustration, told him that what he felt was more, even with no prior experience to compare it to.

“It doesn´t have to be,” he said, feeling brave. Obi-Wan glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “It can also be moments like this. Quiet. Where you ask me to tell you things I´ve never told anyone before, and you show me things from all the places you´ve visited. You tell me about your life before this war started.” Obi-Wan smiled.

“I would like that very much.”

“Me too.” Cody´s heart was beating fast. It would´ve been so easy to lean down and kiss Obi-Wan. To caress his cheek, thread his fingers through his hair, and to kiss him. To be pulled against him and held on tightly. Sighing, Obi-Wan sat up straight, pulling Cody out of his thoughts.

“I suppose that will have to wait, though,” he said, mild annoyance in his voice. “I have a meeting with the council this evening.” 

“Anything important?” Cody chuckled at his exasperation, and Obi-Wan looked at him with something in his eyes that Cody couldn´t place, something that softened his entire face.

“Yes, quite so,” he sighed. “There have been talks about a mission, and this morning it has been assigned to Anakin and me. We haven´t gotten many details yet, I´m hoping that will change tonight. I´m not a big fan of this secrecy.” Cody smiled. He knew how much Obi-Wan liked to be prepared, they were so similar in that way. Being left without details for so long was excruciating.

“I should get going then,” Cody suggested. “Will you tell me about the plan and let me know before you leave?” Obi-Wan nodded.

“Of course I will,” he said. “I won´t go anywhere without telling you.” Obi-Wan sighed. “And you´re probably right, we don´t want your brothers to start worrying.” There was a twinkle in his eye as he said this, the slightest evidence of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, and Cody felt himself getting nervous again. 

“Alright.” Cody rose, almost frantically he realized. “I´ll see you then.” He could swear he felt Obi-Wan´s amused look at the back of his neck as he made for the door, desperate to hide the blush he knew Obi-Wan wouldn´t even see. The amusement was there in his voice when he spoke, too.

“I´ll see you, Commander.”

[staarlight-snow]

Murky Waters (part 2) - Island of the Slaughtered

TW: Gorey descriptions, Strong/Foul language

[Inspired by "last thoughts" by muridaecorps]

My take/interpretation of Noah's death

Part 1

"You know what? Fuck you." Noah blurted out. He gripped unto his book – quickly turning around. Storming off, heading towards the forest. "Noah! You can't just leave it's not safe!" Someone called out. "Tsk.. Let him be." Duncan crossed his arms, "He'll come running back in seconds." After all what kind of idiot would actually run off just like that.

Stupid island, stupid Duncan, stupid fucking Chris. He hated being stuck in a small island with a killer on a loose, who wouldn't? But he hated putting his safety in the hands of a jerky deliquent who does nothing but boss everyone around. Who does Duncan even think he is? Just because he's been in juvenile detention and he's punk doesn't mean he's right for a leadership role.

He continued to angrily make his way deeper into the forest. Stopping at his tracks. Fuck. He was lost. Shit. He was far away from the others. He quickly turned around, retracing his steps.

Noah you fucking idiot, he cursed himself. He quickened his pace, realizing the situation he was at. The sun was setting, the forest was getting darker and all the trees started to look the same.

Then there it was. His body froze up. Shit. He swear his heart dropped right down to his stomach. His breathing became frantic and his mind became hazy. The bushes started to rustle as the figure got closer. So he ran.

He ran, fast. He ran, for his life. No, no, no, no. It can't end like this. He promised Cody they'd get out of there. Not like this please. He still had plans for his future, aspirations and dreams. Of course! Everyone did.

He felt a stream of tears roll down his cheeks as he ran faster. He hated this so much. He hated himself for not participating in any kinds of sports. He ran as quick as he could.

He stopped by a tree to catch his breath. Bad idea right? He just needed a breather, even for a few seconds. His nails dug deep into the novel in his hands. His heart beated faster than he could possibly have ever felt. He looked behind him. Nothing.

He tried to steady his breathing. Just for a second. He started to regret everything, signing that stupid contract, arguing with Duncan, storming off. He regret it all. He closed his eyes. He just wants to go home. He just to leave. He wanted to get out of here. He wanted to get back to camp. He wanted to see Cody again, he seemed to forget every little thing he hated about Cody – cause right now, all he wanted was his friend.

He opened his eyes to a burning feeling around his neck. His eyes widened. Fuck. He dropped the book and desperately tried to get the rope off him. He caught a glimpse of the sickened man behind him, he grinned at the poor teen.

"P-please..." He choked out, "I.. I don't wanna die-" He cried. There was no point. Did he really think a cold-hearted murderer would spare his life?

The rope stung against his neck and it hurt more from the scratches he made attempting to get rid of it. He mind felt hazy and he was light-headed. He fell over, too weak to move from where he was. Fuck.

He was still breathing. Barely. But it gave him a slight taste of hope. He was in terrible shape but maybe he could survive this. If he pretended to be dead and out cold maybe the murderer would leave him there. Or so he thought.

He cried out, feeling a sharp pain in his shoulder. His vision was blurry but he saw it. The knife, deep into him. No. He felt light, he was being carried. Next thing he knew everything was cold, dark and wet. Fuck.

His blood pooled around the pond. He wanted to get out, swim. He knew he could swim but his body was too weak. Slowly, he gave up and succumbed to his death.

It's unfair.

--

Sequel ish

[toska-writes]

helloo! i love your writing so much and i wonder would you like to write commander cody with padawan reader, it's after order 66. and as we know in bad batch s2 he's gone to AWOL right? so what if he go to other planets anywhere and meet reader again (let's pretend he already removed his chip lol) imagine how he feels guilt meeting his little padawan after trying to kill her and her master (obi-wan) and how the reader react meeting him again especially looking at her cody sun armor become gray like shadow unlike him.

(sorry if my english kinda messed up, and have a great day!! <3)

Wow, just wow

“Sunshine”

Summary: after order 66 Cody jumps at only the chance to get at least one person from his old life back- no matter the cost

Paring: Cody x GN padawan Reader (it’s platonic!)

Warning: hurt/comfort nightmares ptsd let me know if I missed anything

Word count: 1822

Notes: I’m very proud of this one and I hope you enjoy! It’s also not proofread because I need some sleep

Cody’s head hurt again.

But it wasn’t like last time, he was in control now and always will be.

“How are you feeling Kotes?” Rex came around the tables and laid a hand on Cody’s shoulder.

To be honest Cody wasn’t sure what he was feeling, if anything. Nausea sat in the pit of his stomach but he feared that it wasn’t just from the procedure he went through.

A hand reached up to the side of his head, the fresh bandage felt course under his hand- the all to familiar feeling of before.

“I’m fine.” Cody’s voice was raspy and burned his throat- Rex picked up on this and quickly went to get him a drink of water.

There he sat alone.

He was alone for a while now, but nothing like this. If you went back a few week you would see the small spark of hope illuminating in his eyes.

Cody wasn’t sure of a lot of things since the war ended but maybe it was the illusion of hope that he and Crosshair could escape together.

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

Then Cody went AWOL. Finally it seemed that he got his mind right- the headaches and the dreams that plagued him however said otherwise.

Rex walked back in. Cody’s eyes were clouded in thought as he sat unmoving on the table.

Placing a ginger hand on his knee Rex has never seen is brother in such a state. But the way he felt in this moment- finally getting his free will totally returned to him was something he would never forget.

“Hey Kotes,” Rex helped him to his feet and lend him out into the halls. “We found something you might need to take a look at.”

Cody almost instantly snapped back to attention as the pair of brothers made their way back to the ship they arrived on.

“A few radars picked up on some chatter from the bounty hunters guild.” Rex returned to the Captain Cody knows and loves, things were going back to how they use to be.

“Why would your crew have any interest in the guilds?” Cody questioned, a little slow to connect the dots. “Your fighting an empire here.”

Rex stared at him for a moment, his try at a sarcastic tone clearly flew over Rex’s head.

It was one of the only times Cody has ever seen Rex so unsure about what he was about to say. “We picked up Y/N’s location. The bounty for Jedi are unbelievably high and I’m worried if one of us doesn’t get there in time it might go sour.”

Cody froze in his seat, the end of Rex’s sentence seemed to go blurry. The moment replayed every hour of the day, awake or asleep. He memorized the moment when he watched Obi-wan fall from that terrible hight.

He remembered the look you gave him as he turned to you, your lightsaber coming up in your shaky hands staring at him.

“Cody what’s going on?”

“I- they made it?” Cody looked at Rex, the dark thought that he was playing a terrible joke on him.

Rex only nodded his confirmation. Waiting for Cody to see just want he would do.

You wouldn’t want to see him. Cody didn’t even want to see himself. The terrors he’s created would never wash off no matter how hard he scrubbed.

The armor that surrounded him all his life was striped away, just like everything he has ever known. His sunshine was stripped away as well.

Taking a shaky breath in Cody whispered. “Take me to them.”

•••

Your head hurt again.

It was just like the last time, the moment you realized nobody was on your side anymore.

The purge left you stranded by yourself, unsure of what to do you fled as far as you could.

The outer rim served its purpose for now but the empire was expanding, and the hunters became bolder with their search.

Against your better judgment you tried to reach Ahsoka, Hunter even but it was no use.

Maybe now you were by yourself. Cutoff.

You sat up straight in your makeshift bed. The sheets bawled into your fist as your chest heaved and sweet ran down your back.

You weren’t safe even in your own mind.

You watched him fall. The scream you let out as you lost him over the edge. Everyone around you went off.

Cody. Your Cody turned to you next- all around you heard the all too familiar sound of blasters raising. Cody aimed for you as you brought your weapon up, the thought of hurting any of them never crossed your mind before.

“Cody.” You had tried. “Cody what’s going on?”

The blaster that was shot at you was the moment you woke this time. Other times you weren’t as lucky to be spared with the memory.

The sky was masked with the darkness of the night, your clock told you at you barely sleep 2 hours since you tried to go to sleep.

You gathered yourself as practically dragged yourself to the only window in your “home”

This wasn’t home. Nothing would come close to what the word use to mean to you, but it was soemthing keeping you mildly safe.

The sky above never really changed, it was the only constant you found after the end of the war. The only thing you could depend on that would never harm you.

Your head buzzed again, for a split second you turned to your hidden saber, the weapon you couldn’t pick up since you arrived on this rock. The crystal within buzzed constantly in your ear, begging to be picked up once again.

It use to be a background noise that grounded you, but things have changed.

You stared into the darkness for a moment, the lightsaber wasn’t it. Turning your attention back to the outside world the familiar feeling felt crooked in your chest.

It wasn’t really right, but it was something you recognized none the less.

A cloak that you threw around yourself countless times before made its way to your shoulders- masking you from others and you left closing your door silently behind you.

For a moment you thought maybe, just maybe it was your master heat to tell you everything would be ok, to help you just as he had countless times before.

But you couldn’t think like that, like you use too. Hope burned within you as you followed the force you tried desperately to get rid of.

•••

Cody tried the comm channel he used countless times before, he could practically put it in with his eyes closed.

But of course no answer.

He did try once before- the first night he ran from the empire, alone in the back of a transport ship he tried to reach the Jedi he grew fond of.

It was one of the only instants the commanders eyes watered slightly and his nose ran.

Rex was waiting near by with the ship as he walked the streets of this planet alone. His armor was covered with a poncho Rex lent him and frankly it was the best he could do.

He hoped that you weren’t here, the disgusting streets and inhabitants made him sick. But what if this was better than see him again?

Cody shook that last thought. His hand shook slightly at his side which was a nervous habit he picked up a long time ago.

His eyes scanned the dark scenery for any sign that you might have been here, a sign Cody hoped nobody else could pick up on.

On instinct he turned down an alley to his left, this was definitely not the place to be at this time.

His eyes squinted trying to pin point a figure towards the end. This was the only time he wished for his helmet that didn’t seem his own.

Something ate at the inside of him again. His breath was sparse wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him. If his mind was no longer his own.

The figure took a few steps from the shadows that engulfed them. The moon illuminated someone that haunted every minute of his life.

You held a blaster out in front of you, but this time you didn’t shake.

Cody didn’t dare take another step. His eyes were firmly planted on the ground as he kneeled down dropping his blaster in front of him.

“Cody?”

He could only nod, afraid that his voice would highlight just how vulnerable he felt in this very moment.

But he had to say something, he couldn’t leave you again.

“I’m- I’m so sorry kid.” His voice broke through his words. This uncertain feeling engulfed him like a flame showing no mercy. “Sorry, I’m sorry.”

You stared at him for a moment. Taking in the sight- clearly things were different. The sunshine was stripped from him. His eyes, though they tried to avoid you, seemed hollow.

You thought of two things in this moment.

You wanted to run, run from someone that could hurt you all over again, someone that you weren’t even sure you could trust.

Or

You could try to hang onto one of the only things that you so desperately needed. You needed someone.

The blaster clanked to the ground as you walked to Cody. Your guard was up but the tears betrayed what you were really hoping for.

You hoped that Cody was himself again.

Cody looked up, your familiar eyes caught his own. The tears that he dried so many times fell across your cheeks, and he only wished to dry them one more time.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say, his mind left him and he could only mutter the only words that went through his head, as if they could make everything better.

You kneeled down with him. For a second Cody thought this might be a dream of his own and this was the moment that he would loose you once again.

But you stayed.

Quickly you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him flushed against you.

Cody wasted no time crushing you into him. You cling to him as he continued to whisper small apologies into your hair.

Through the muffled sniffles you voiced. “I liked your other armor kot’ika.”

For the first time in a while Cody found himself giving an actual laugh.

He nodded as he griped you even tighter as if he was afraid that if he let go you would leave.

“I think I could use some help painting it again.” He spoke a little louder. The emotions still sounded in his voice.

It was your turn to nod into his chest. For the first time in a while You found yourself crying tears of relief that finally someone was here for you again.

This time you weren’t going to let him go again.

_____________________________________

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97

[frostbitebakery]

Anything from Who Ordered The Resurrection Special please?

DO I! :D

“The war is over. What now?”

Ryloth’s mountains rise on the horizon with the setting sun.

Obi-Wan rubs at the corner of his eye, leans back on his other hand. The grass is tickling against his skin. Kashyyk’s vegetation has always been so soft and lush; it’s a balm that almost, almost makes him smile. “I’m afraid we’re not out of tasks to do yet, my friend.” Perhaps his tone is too sarcastic, too downtrodden. But the exhaustion is clamoring up his every nerve and muscle and strand of thought.

“You’re right,” his Commander agrees softly, small chuckle rounding the vowels, echoes of it flowing back from the cliffs. Geonosis is not a good resting place. “Even death can’t keep you away from work.”

It sounds too serious for a joke. “What do you mean?” he asks and turns his head towards—

Goda shakes him by the singed shawl, breath burning and fire. “The one who should have been didn’t care and now everyone is paying the price.” The hole in his gut sizzles, melts, and Obi-Wan frantically pulls at the bandages. “Stop them before—“

“Goda, please, hold on, yes?” They’re alone but they shouldn’t be. It had been carnage the last time. Goda pushing Obi-Wan into a fighter with his last breath, voice cold and droid-like when it wasn’t drenched in despair.

Goda’s glove smells like death as it brushes against Obi-Wan’s cheek. “We weren’t ever meant to be, were we?”

“Who—? Commander—“

“Your men.”

Obi-Wan wakes up.

Day 2

Wolffe hauls the backpack higher up on his shoulder, pulls the cap deeper into his face. “Sinker owes me. I’ll rig up the IV once I’m back.”

“I’m sure Nurse Rosa appreciates the nickname.”

Wolffe holds up his hands. “She’s the one who came up with it.” He slaps Cody’s shoulder before turning to the front door. “I’ll get something to eat, too,” he says, stepping through the door and into the faint morning light.

Cody leans against the door, closing it with his weight, and lets himself sigh deep and even.

Their plan is to put an IV into the zombie for electrolytes until his organs can handle digestion. Wolffe gets some supplies from the hospital since going there is still out of the question even though the zombie has drastically healed since the first moment he appeared. It’s not leathery skin stretched over bones and gnarled limbs anymore. He had almost looked fresh faced when Cody had helped him into a loose t-shirt and sweatpants. Very fresh faced. It’s easy now to imagine what he’ll look like once he’s fully alive again.

Cody’s cheeks turn warm and that’s enough of that.

Maybe Cody’s family is in a unique position when it comes to… the stranger side of life, and as a firefighter he’s certainly seen enough shit one can’t explain that easily. But he’d rather not make tinfoil hats in a padded room while the zombie is whisked off to be sliced and diced.

“Hel…lo…”

Perfect timing. Cody looks up to his unalive guest standing in the doorway of the guest bedroom, looking lost in Cody’s borrowed clothes. “Oh, hey, you’re up!”

“…there.”

Cody blinks. “Where what?”

.

Cody has to think about that one for a minute. Which might give Obi-Wan the wrong impression about his family and Cody’s relationship to them but he’s not exactly thinking about them day and night anymore. Not now that they’re all adults with their own lives.

“My siblings mean everything to me,” Cody lands on, tipping a finger against the red MFD mug. “They didn’t have it easy growing up but they worked hard and,” he huffs out a laugh. He isn’t cynical usually but working hard to achieve dreams and success hasn’t been cutting it since before he was born. “Our father had some helpful connections so they could at least get a foot in the door.”

Cody refuses to publicly acknowledge the reality behind those connections for his siblings’ sake. He dug deep to uncover the truth behind Bly suddenly getting the scholarship of a lifetime, the top notch medical school of the country personally inviting Wolffe into their program.

Fox had fucked off to the Navy following his dream of reenacting the beach football scene in Top Gun. So it was up to Cody to ensure their father’s shady business wouldn’t bite them in the ass in the long run. Ponds had already paid the highest price for that. Boba—

“Boba is the oldest,” Cody starts, smile tugging at his mouth despite everything. He’s currently in jail for murdering my second oldest brother, Cody chooses not to say.

Obi-Wan tilts his head in interest but Cody moves right along.

“You met Wolffe,” he continues, grinning at Obi-Wan’s sigh. “Yeah, he has that effect on people.”

:

“I’m not here to hold people’s hands, Dr Koone,” Wolffe says reasonably.

The medical superintendent looks down at his hand being held by Wolffe and raises a bushy eyebrow around the breathing mask contraption covering most of his face.

“This means nothing.” Wolffe about had a heart attack when he got the news of the gas leak explosion rendering his mentor comatose. “It’s not my fault you like to live in a medical drama.”

Dr Koone pats his hand.

Wolffe sighs. “I’ll have Boost fluff your pillows. He’ll sneak in your ER novels.”

:

“I actually am not sure what Bly does,” Cody says slowly. “She got a bunch of doctorates hanging in her garage and her favorite hobby is making slime.”

:

Bly punches the end call button on the touchscreen with a growl. “No one lets me do anything around here!”

Cody blows on the spoonful of sauce before taking a careful sip. “They’re not going to fund you your own CERN, Bly.” A bit more oregano should do the trick.

“The things I could do with it!”

The alarm is about to go off and Cody stops it before the first beep. “Drain the spaghetti, please.”

Bly takes the huge pot over to the sink, hitting the cold water. “They act like I’m one inevitable lab accident away from becoming Doofenschmirtz.”

“They aren’t wrong.”

Bly whirls around, hands over her heart. “That’s the nicest thing you ever said to me, Codes.”

“I love you no matter what doesn’t count at all, does it?”

His sister scoffs out a laugh and waves him away. “I already knew that, idiot.”

Cody shakes his head and announces to the station that lunch is ready.

:

“After Fox’s stint in the Navy and fulfilling that dream, he went on to the next one,” Cody explains and pauses.

:

“Please give a warm welcome to our special guest tonight,” the club host says into the mic. “His unapologetic attitude towards life and its wonders has firmly established his name in the poetry community worldwide.”

Cody is about to clap when he notices everyone around him snapping their fingers.

“I swear, all your lives are made purely out of 90s tropes,” he murmurs to Bly.

“You would know, old man.”

Fox slinks onto the stage in a tight fitting black turtleneck and board shorts, and grabs the mic. “Pain.” He stomps onto the floor once. “Spite.”

The crowd goes wild.

[juceynightmare]

dating 101 (18+) part 21 - cody rhodes x reader

my masterlist

dating 101 (18+) masterlist

pairing(s): cody rhodes x reader, roman reigns x reader, randy orton x reader (brief)

warning(s): swearing, mentions of cigarettes, talking about kinks, knifeplay, bloodplay, cnc, possessive!cody, no actual smut (yet)

genre(s): college!au, slow burn, fluff, angst, smut-ish

|| previous part || next part ||

it was supposed to be cody at the door, after all, no one else should be knocking on her door at this time. so as soon as she got up out of her seat and opened the door, she reached out and grabbed his wrist to pull him in without looking. “damn, you were quick with your shower this time. impatient or something?” she teased as she turned to close the door and lock it. she turned herself back around, leaning up and throwing her arms around his neck to pull him down and press her lips against his.

the kiss had quickly deepened itself and he was skillfully dragging his tongue against hers and swallowing her moans and whimpers. however, something about the kiss was different, the taste was something like cigarettes and… y/n pulled away as soon as she felt calloused hands push up her shirt slightly and rest against the skin of her hips while the crinkle of a plastic bag filled the room.

“fuck, i know that wasn’t for me, but damn codes is one lucky man if you were going to greet him like that.” randy mused once he felt her pull away, opening his eyes and meeting her panicked gaze. “sorry. i couldn’t control myself, i should have pulled away but fuck, you’re sinful, y/n.” he complimented, taking a step back and letting his hands fall from where they rested on her hips. his arms fell back against his sides and he tightened his hold on the plastic bag to ignore the growing tightness of his jeans.

“randy?” y/n questioned, her face feeling hotter than the sun. she brought her hand up to her lips, her fingers brushing against her bottom lip as she stared up at randy with wide eyes.

“that’s me, yes. now why you acting like that? i know cody isn’t one for dating… unless you two are secretly a thing then shit, i’ll take the blame. or, better yet, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, you know?” randy said, turning around and walking further into the room. he set the plastic bag down on y/n’s desk before taking a seat in her chair, making himself comfortable and leaning back.

“no, we’re not a thing.” she whispered, walking over to her bed to take a seat and bringing her hand down from her face. “sorry. i didn’t know it was you at the door. i was waiting for cody so i thought it’d be cody and then… i really have no explanation for the kiss without sounding like a whore.” she groaned, turning over and faceplanting into her mattress.

“no need to be shy. we’re both adults here. we’re single so it’s not like we’re cheating on our significant others. you thought i was cody and kissed me, and that’s that. can’t change the past. besides, it was a good fucking kiss. i wouldn’t mind doing that again and more if you get bored of fucking cody.” randy laughed, watching the way y/n cutely thrashed on her bed.

y/n’s next words were a muffled mess that had randy’s eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “lovely, you’re going to need to lift your head from your mattress if you want to speak. i can’t understand you.” he mused.

“i thought you were supposed to text that you were here!” y/n said, lifting her head for a moment to speak before thrusting her face back down into her mattress. she wished the earth would open up under her and that she’d be swallowed alive. she can’t believe that she had made such a dire mistake.

not that it wasn’t too horrible. randy was by no means a bad kisser, and y/n certainly found the man physically attractive. she was simply embarrassed that she was bold enough to pull such a stunt only for it to not be cody.

she couldn’t help but wonder why she didn’t feel disgusted while kissing randy, much like she had felt with roman. then again, she certainly feels disgusted now that she knew it was randy and not cody. perhaps austin was right.

“i texted you, actually. it’s cool though, some other person opened the door for me because they were leaving and i remembered where yours and cody’s dorms are.” he said. randy took a look around the room before asking, “speaking of my little, where is he?”

y/n groaned, pushing herself back up from her laying position. she positioned herself so she was sitting criss-cross on her bed with her back against the wall. “showering.” she answered, thankful that her face had cooled down in the time that she had attempted to shove herself into her mattress to disappear from randy’s sight. “what’s in the bag.” she asked, gesturing to the bag randy left on her desk with a nod of her head.

“codes’s shirt. i washed it for him because it was just covered in roman’s yack. oh, and his keys. that’s in there too.” he answered, leaning back in the chair with his gaze trained on y/n.

“can we forget that happened?” y/n asked quickly. “i don’t think cody would be too happy with me kissing his… big. what even is a big?”

randy shrugged his shoulders. “if you want to forget, then sure. but my offer still stands if you get bored of cody.” he replied. “and a big is like… it’s short for big brother i guess. a little mentorship within the frat type of deal. like how we’re all brothers in the frat but then you have your own little brother and big brother. you take care of your little, and your big takes care of you sort of deal.” he answered, taking a look around her room.

y/n nodded her head, acknowledging randy’s words. “oh, his keys are in there right? can you toss them to me, i’m going to get him a change of clothes from his room. he was just gonna come back in boxers but i don’t know if he’d feel comfortable in just that around you.”

randy laughed and shook his head. “the clothes are gonna come off anyway, he’ll be fine. besides, i’ve seen way more than you think i have. pretty sure the first event was the one where we made the pledges go skinny dipping.” he remembered, an almost fond tone in his voice.

y/n couldn’t feel more afraid for cody, knowing that in the future he’d most definitely be in randy’s position and fondly reminiscing on the “good ol’ days of being a pledge”. she paused, thinking over randy’s response before exclaiming, “wait, what do you mean the clothes are gonna come off anyway? cody and i were not going to-“ she was cut off by the sound of knocking on the door.

“i got this, in case you try and pull that same stunt and it’s not cody.” randy teased as he stood up, walking over to the door to unlock it and pull it open.

cody stared at randy with wide eyes, clearly not expecting his big to be there. “randy? the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him as randy walked back over to y/n’s chair.

cody set down all of y/n’s stuff that he borrowed on to the dresser before he made his way over to where y/n was sat on her bed.

y/n wondered how cody didn’t feel a little bit embarrassed in that moment, especiallt since he was only wearing a pair of boxers and had the towel draped over his shoulders. when he came to sit down beside her, cody’s arm had immediately wrapped around her shoulders so he could pull her close to him and press her against his side.

she felt her face warm up. they had been subtle with their pda whenever ted was around, keeping it at the level it always had been before they had started fucking. but it certainly wasn’t at this level: where cody was almost naked and so casually pulling y/n up against him. and he was doing this in front of randy of all people.

maybe austin was right.

“why else would i be here? i came to drop off your keys and your shirt that i washed - you’re welcome, by the way.” he laughed, smiling widely at the sight of cody with y/n pressed against his side. “also to come spend time with y/n. can’t leave a woman like her alone for too long, codes. she seems like an insatiable one.” he teased, watching the way cody’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion while y/n’s face had grown impossibly red as she shoved her face into cody’s side to hide away from randy’s gaze.

randy pushed himself off of the chair, walking over to the two and dapping up cody. “i’ll get out of here. take care of cody, lovely. and codes, you better bring her to the rest of our functions.” he said, waving goodbye and making his way out of the room, making sure to shut the door behind him.

“now, why would randy call you insatiable, sweetheart? better yet, what’s with the nickname lovely?” he asked, as soon as the door was shut. he brought his hand up to the back of y/n’s head, entangling his fist into her hair and forcefully pulling her head away from his side. her small whimper had only encouraged cody further, and he forced her to look up at him.

y/n gulped, meeting cody’s hungry gaze. “i don’t know.” she whispered, hoping cody wouldn’t press any further.

cody hummed, tightening his grip on her hair. “more like you don’t want to tell me.” he mumbled, leaning down and pressing a kiss against her forehead. he let go of her hair, letting her head fall back into his side and cody adjusted himself so that she was resting against his chest instead. “i’ll get it out of you eventually. don’t think for a second that i forgot about you admitting you got some kinks, sweetheart.” he hummed, enjoying the way y/n had nodded against his chest.

“you first.” she whispered, already far too embarrassed from her encounter with randy. she didn’t want to feel immediately embarrassed in front of cody.

“what is this? a trade?” he mused, using his free arm to pull off the towel from around his shoulders. he threw it over to her chair before adjusting them so that cody was laying flat against the bed with y/n laying down on top of them. “you didn’t even ask me nicely.” he pointed out.

y/n pressed her hands flat against cody’s chest, pushing herself up and adjusting herself so she was sat right on cody’s bulge. his hands immediately found their place on her hips, and she smiled down at him. “please daddy. go first.” she whispered.

cody smiled, pushing up her shirt slightly and pressing his palms flat against her skin. “alright, i’ll just start off strong then to make you feel comfortable with sharing yours. i’m really into blood.” he said, watching the way y/n’s eyes widened in shock and a blush had risen to her cheeks. “fuck, you know that day i took your virginity and split you open? your pussy was bleeding after, and it was just a mixture of my cum and your blood and it’s the hottest shit ever. i wanted to smear your blood over your thighs and fucking lick it all up after to clean you.” he admitted. he had half expected y/n to either flinch away from the fact that cody wasn’t joking when he said he was into some fucked up shit, but to his surprise, y/n had stayed put.

“i wouldn’t mind that.” she whispered, and this time it was cody’s turn to be shocked. “i… really have a thing for knives.” she admitted, and she could feel cody’s bulge beneath her. “so if you ever wanted to… you know, leave some cuts and make me bleed, i really wouldn’t mind that.” she mumbled.

“and how’d you find that out, princess? that you wanted to be cut into.” he asked, bringing a hand up from her hips so he could cup her face with his hand.

she shrugged. “porn, mostly. but then i tried it on myself to check my pain tolerance and… i liked how it felt.” she whispered. “i also think it’d be hot to be scarred with my lover’s initials. be branded for life sort of deal, you know?”

“cnc?” cody immediately asked, his hand traveling down from her face to her neck as he gently wrapped his hand around her throat. he knew that people that were into as intense darker kinks like them were usually more often than not also into cnc. and cody didn’t know if he’d be able to give y/n up if she was willing to try cnc.

he watched as she nodded shyly, her blush having deepened from his question.

“you too?” she asked softly, although the wat cody’s gaze had darkened had his expression had turned hard was enough of an answer for her.

“been waiting to find someone i trust enough and who trusted me enough to finally try out all the fucked up fantasies i have. which, you know, would certainly be easier if i was looking for a girlfriend but we know how i am.” he admitted, bucking his hips up against her core slightly and enticing a moan to fall from her lips. “i have a real fucking beautiful iridescent karambit sitting in my desk. bet it‘d look even better pressed right against here.” cody murmured, his fingers pressing against the sides of her throat.

y/n could only gasp in reply, feeling her arousal start to pool between her legs.

“initials, right?” cody hummed, letting go of her throat and pushing the front of y/n’s shirt up. “having my initials would be real cute right here, don’t you think? your little boy toy roman would be able to see it if you wore a crop top.” he said, brushing his fingers against the right side of her waist as he focused on the unmarked skin, already visualizing how big he’d leave his initials against her.

“cody.” she breathed out, making the man tear his gaze away from her waist and meet her own.

“tell me more. what else do you want me to do to you, princess?” he urged her on, his hands resting back on her hips as he guided her to grind down against him.

how could she ever think that she’d be able to just stop being with cody like this?

her mouth had been left permanently agape, the feeling of him pulsating against her being so distracting that y/n could barely formulate a thought. “i like the idea of being blindfolded and tied up. i think in general, i just love the idea of being used until i’m broken, crying, and begging for you to stop.” she admitted, much to cody’s delight.

cody chuckled, smiling up at y/n. “i could do that, if you let me.” he promised, stilling her hips so that she could focus on her own thoughts. “i’ll even walk over to my room in just my boxers and a raging hard-on just so i can get my karambit if you really want.” he added on.

y/n stared down at cody, her eyes wide and her mouth still agape. “how about i get it instead?” she proposed, to which cody shrugged his shoulders.

“up to you, princess. either way, sounds like you’re not opposed to me literally carving myself into your skin and have you bleed for me.” he told her, as y/n leaned down so that their foreheads were pressed together.

“if you keep saying stuff like that, i don’t think i’ll ever be able to even think of another man.” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

instead of replying, cody pressed his hand against the back of her neck and captured her lips in a kiss, his tongue hungrily pressing against hers before he pulled her back roughly. something like anger flashed in his gaze, and y/n knew she should be afraid but god, did it turn her on even more.

“you kissed randy.” cody realized, his eyebrows furrowing in anger as he glared at her.

her eyes widened in shock. “how did you-“

“you fucking taste like cigarettes, and i know randy smokes that shit. your reaction is only proving that i’m right.” cody answered, tangling his fist in her hair and pulling at it roughly, causing her to yelp out in pain. “is that why he called you insatiable? i go and take a shower so you go off and kiss randy because i’m not there.” he practically growled.

cody sat up, bringing y/n up along with him and reeling in the mix of fear and arousal that had pooled in y/n’s gaze. “get my knife. in the smallest pocket of my backpack. i’m going to have to carve my entire fucking name into you at this point if it’ll make you behave for the 20 minutes i go and take a shower.” he told her, watching the way she nodded her head and moved to get out of his grasp.

cody quickly pulled her in, realizing that she seemed to have forgotten that cody was still gripping her by her hair. he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, letting his kiss linger against her before pulling away and whispering, “don’t take too long, i’ll miss you even if it’s been a second that you step out of this room.”

y/n smiled, and felt satisfied when cody mirrored her own smile before letting go of her hair. she leaned in and stole another kiss from him before pushing herself off of his lap and the bed and grabbing cody’s keys from the bag randy had left on her desk.

she left the room, jogging slightly so that she didn’t keep cody waiting for too long.

and to think she was about to let this opportunity go.

|| next part ||

[cinnamongorll]

a fragile line - chapter 23

read on ao3! (111k words) | previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC

Tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.

Series synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.

Chapter warning: references to suicide/suicidal thoughts

Word count: 4.7k

Chapter 23: 'My Tears Ricochet'

One week later

Juliet’s POV:

It took three days to find a way out of Cody. 

The entire city was overrun; the infected lingered in every corner, round every bend. Terror had wrapped its cold hand around each of their necks, squeezing tighter and tighter as they fought their way out of the city. Juliet imagined that the fear caught Joel a little harder than herself. She could see it in the rigidness of his shoulders. He was terrified. But not for himself, never for himself. He was terrified for Tommy. 

Tommy was supposed to be in Cody, he was supposed to be somewhere safe, he was supposed to be okay. But there was no sign of any living being other than those who were more fungus than person. As they clawed their way out of the city, Joel’s steps were harder, his instructions were harsher, and his eyes grew colder and colder.

They had to leave the truck behind. There was no way they would make their way back to it with infected crawling around the vehicle. It was almost as though they knew how important the truck was to them and how devastating a loss it would be. 

Two days had passed since they left Cody. Both days were spent walking almost non-stop. There were multiple times where Juliet felt her steps stumbling and her legs giving out, but she didn’t let herself crumble. She kept going, kept moving, despite the worsening pain in her body. Juliet had one goal: get Joel to Tommy. Her guilt fueled every action, every thought in her mind. Juliet believed that if she got Joel to his brother, if they were reunited, that it would ease her guilt over lying to him, forcing him to save her on multiple accounts, kissing him…

Ethan walked a couple steps behind her as they travelled across the vast stretch of forestland. Wyoming was stunning. Even in her detached state, Juliet struggled not to appreciate its beauty. The autumn sun illuminated the world in browns and reds and oranges. Juliet made a point of only looking ahead, because she couldn’t bring herself to look at Ethan, to meet his eyes. She had lost herself after the clicker attack, the rational part of her brain had escaped her. Juliet had allowed her emotions to fuel her actions and every part of her had screamed Joel’s name. She had thrown herself as him and he caught her in his strong hands without a second thought. Despite the chilled air, sweat broke out across her back at the memory of his feral touch. 

She liked it, a little too much probably. But Juliet knew that the feeling was mutual. When Joel wrapped his hands around her waist and she’d raked her nails down his back, Juliet knew, without a doubt, that he felt the same surge of desire. It wasn’t like the last time, on the floor in that dark house when Joel’s blood still stained her hands and their kiss was confused and unsure. This time, Juliet didn’t have to wonder if Joel had meant it. The press of his rough fingers against her burning skin had told her more than enough. 

She was growing more and more desperate to stop Joel and demand access to the thoughts inside his head. Juliet was becoming an expert in the nuances of his expressions and the language of his hands. But it wasn’t enough. The tension between them was reaching an unbearable stage and she knew that one day, probably soon, it would snap. The dark looks, the devastating kisses, and the whispered words were addictive and Juliet had to know when her next fix would be.

Joel walked in front and Juliet couldn’t help but stare at the imprint of his muscles through his dark shirt. She had begged him to take his jacket from her, but he’d refused. When the wind hit them, blowing through the curls on his head, Juliet knew he must be freezing. 

It only added to her forever growing dept towards him. 

If they could find Tommy, maybe the twisting feeling in her gut would ease, maybe she’d be able to take a real, deep breath again. Joel deserved something good, something to live for. 

Juliet only wished that, eventually, she’d be able to find something similar. 

…………………………………..

When night fell, they stopped walking. 

Juliet’s legs nearly buckled when Joel announced it was time to set up camp for the night. They didn’t have much, only what was left in their bags when they abandoned the truck. There was some food and they’d managed to fill up their water canisters at a river the day before. However, they had no sleeping bags. 

The night before had been hell. There was an old cabin that they huddled in, but without any heat, Juliet struggled to sleep at all. Sleep was an old memory, something she desperately tried to cling to but it always fell through her fingers. She lay on the cold wooden floor, Ethan by her side, and stared at the broken roof for hours. Joel had kept watch most of the night, she wasn’t sure when he last slept. Juliet could hear him breathing and she felt his eyes scorch her skin. All she had to do was turn her head, to meet his eyes. But she was scared, terrified that she might meet his dark gaze and they would continue what they had started in the office building back in Cody. 

Her fingers curled at the thought. 

They all dropped their backpacks behind a large rock formation on the outskirts of the nearest forest. Juliet sighed when the weight left her back and she rolled her shoulders. Her stomach was healing, Ethan had told her when he had changed her bandage yesterday. She could feel it, too. Every movement didn’t come with the same scorching pain anymore, rather more of a dull ache.

The bruises on her wrists and ankles refused to shift, however. Juliet was thankful for Joel’s jacket and its long sleeves to cover the reminder of what happened to her. 

When she had blinked away the memory, Juliet noticed Joel crouched on the ground with his lighter gripped tight in his hands. Surely Joel wasn’t breaking his own rules…

“A fire?” Juliet muttered as she stepped closer, transfixed on Joel’s movements. 

He looked up at her from his position on the ground, scanning her entire body before meeting her eyes. Joel always did that, like he was examining her. Juliet shifted on her feet, but she didn’t back down. Juliet let Joel pin her with that same fierce look which softened the longer he held her gaze.

Then, he nodded, sudden and sharp. 

“We’re far enough out,” he explained before resuming his task.

Seconds later, a flame appeared, roaming over the sticks he had gathered before engulfing them entirely. 

Ethan pushed past her, his hands wide, reaching towards the fire. Juliet stumbled out of the way, almost tripping on a rock by her feet. She blinked in annoyance, but she couldn’t blame Ethan for his urgency. She edged closer towards the fire, bending down to sit at a close distance to the flames. The heat was glorious and the permanent numbness in her stiff fingers began to ease. 

Juliet tore her eyes from the red flames to find Joel sat across from them, but his eyes weren’t on the fire. He was focusing intensely on the man beside her. His glare was deadly. He looked utterly menacing as the light from the flames painted his face in shades of red. Her eyes dropped lower, and she watched as Joel tightened his grip on his lighter. His knuckles as white as the moon above their heads. Juliet swallowed and subtly shifted away from Ethan, not wanting to intensify the situation. Was it Ethan’s inexperience, his rash decision making, which angered Joel? Or was it something different, something stronger? Was Joel jealous? 

No, of course he wasn’t. 

Joel didn’t have those kinds of feelings. He was a closed book. He existed for himself and his family, he didn’t care for anything else. It’s the reason he was so dangerous, so adept at surviving in this world. He wasn’t jealous of Ethan. He couldn’t be. Because there was nothing between her and Ethan, only a ghostly presence of what once was. Joel was attracted to her, it was difficult to deny. But there were no feelings beyond that. She was a burden, the cargo he was forced to save and now had to keep alive for a little longer. 

Juliet bit her lip, using the sharp pain to distract herself from the mess inside her head. She couldn’t get a firm grip on her thoughts. Her mind was still fuzzy, there were still things that she struggled to remember. Everytime she closed her eyes she was back in that basement, reliving every moment of her father’s torture. But some part of her brain was protecting her from something, there was more from the basement that she couldn’t remember. Juliet wasn’t sure if she wanted to remember. But recently, self-destruction had been her only goal, so her mind kicked and screamed at that brick wall. So far, she hadn’t even made a dent. Maybe it was better that way. 

Juliet’s hand had absentmindedly reached into her boot and pulled her knife into her grip. It was an instinctual move, which puzzled Juliet even more. 

“You still have it,” Ethan said, amazed. 

Juliet’s head shot up, her fingers curled around the knife as she blinked away the fog that had surrounded her mind. With the fire, Juliet had begun to heat up and found her cheeks warming with the attention of the two men.

Turning her head towards Ethan, Juliet nodded as her thumb brushed over the rose carving. Then, she noticed his waiting hand and settled the knife in his warm palm.

“Thought I’d never see it again,” Ethan breathed as he examined the knife, then his eyes flickered to Juliet’s face. “Thought I’d never see youagain.” 

Juliet wanted to smile, she wanted to return his words and bathe in the relief of their reunion. But she couldn’t focus on Ethan, she couldn’t focus on anything other than that knife. 

When she was trapped in that basement, her ankles bound to that chair… she’d had that knife. It had always been in her boot, the entire time. A sharp ringing sound began to build in Juliet’s ears as the realisation poured over her. Surely some part of her must have known that her knife was still with her. Why didn’t she use it? Why did she allow her father to trap her, slap her, brandher…

She could have escaped, or at least tried. 

But why would she?

For months, Juliet was determined that she would most likely die in that basement. In her mind, her fate had been sealed from the moment she found that letter, from the moment she appeared at Joel’s door with a plan and a death wish. It was all for Ethan, she was living for Ethan. 

Saving herself was never an option. 

But she could have. 

Juliet just didn’t care enough. 

A sharp gasp released from Juliet’s throat. The ringing in her ears grew louder and louder. 

She had wantedto die that day. 

Juliet strumbled to her feet, pushing off Ethan’s hands which had settled on her lap. She needed space, she needed air. She couldn’t breathe. 

When she stood, Juliet turned as tears blurred her vision and her body staggered over to the nearest rock. Gasping for breath, her hand gripped the cold, rough surface. She could hear Ethan’s voice, calling her name, over and over. But the ringing was too loud and she couldn’t think of anything other than the sound of her own breathing. 

A gentle hand touched her shoulder and she whirled around. “Don’t touch me,” she demanded. Her own voice was unfamiliar to her. It was as frigid as the air around them. 

Ethan stood behind her, his mouth open in shock as he held his hands in a defensive stance. “Juliet, what’s wrong? Did I do something?” he asked slowly, as though approaching a wild beast.

Juliet’s eyes shot to the sky as a sharp laugh escaped her mouth. She just wanted a moment alone to herself, why couldn’t he give her that?

“I just need a minute,” she ground out before she turned and walked further away, deeper into the night. 

“Juliet!” Ethan called. 

She couldn’t think. She needed space to breathe. This was too much. 

Juliet had wanted to die that day.

Why didn’t they let her die? 

This wasn’t a life. She didn’t want any part of it. 

Her mind was screaming. Juliet wasn’t sure if it was just inside her head. She kept stumbling, tripping on rocks but managed to steady herself as she fought her way through the horror in her head. 

“Juliet, please!” Ethan shouted, more forcefully this time as he caught up to her. Juliet had stopped beside a tree, using the damp bark to steady herself. She was breathing heavy and tears poured down her face. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Ethan insisted, moving forward while Juliet began to press her back against the tree behind her. 

Juliet was sobbing now, she couldn’t answer him. She couldn’t even gather enough air to take a proper breath. Everything was moving too fast, she couldn’t keep up with anything. 

“Please,” she murmured, begging him to leave her as he stepped closer. 

“Shhhh,” Ethan whispered as he cradled her face in his hands. Juliet was trapped, entirely trapped against the tree. 

Then his forehead met hers as he continued to whisper soothing words but all Juliet could hear was her father’s voice screaming in her head. She could feel her father’s breath against her face, she could feel the force of his slap against her skin, she could feel herself slipping away into that same darkness. 

Another sob worked its way up her throat and, without warning, Ethan was ripped from his hold on her. Juliet blinked open her eyes, struggling to see through the tears. 

“She told you to leave her,” growled Joel as he gripped the back of Ethan’s shirt, whirling him around until he was pinned against a tree himself. In the fading light, Juliet watched as Ethan’s face transformed from shock to an intense, unbridled rage. 

Ethan barked out a cold laugh and Joel eased his grip, letting him slump against the tree. “You don’t think I know what this is about?” Ethan seethed, pointing between Joel and Juliet. 

Her breathing stopped entirely. 

“You think I haven’t seen the way he looks at you?” he accused, focusing on Juliet. 

Who was this man? This wasn’t Ethan. Ethan wasn’t cruel and threatening. 

He laughed again, this time harsher and he took another step towards Juliet. She caught sight of his hands - they were shaking with anger.

He didn’t manage to get any closer though, Joel caught him with a firm press of his hand against Ethan’s chest, pushing him backwards. Juliet flinched when he hit the ground. 

“There he is. Coming to save you again,” Ethan snarled from his position on the ground. 

“Ethan, stop,” she demanded. The ringing in her ears had grown louder. 

“No,” he said as he pushed himself off the ground, putting his palms in the air when Joel took a warning step towards him. “Juliet, who even is this guy?” he continued, nodding his head towards Joel. “He’s dangerous. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, like you’re a meal he’s waiting to devour. It’s sick,” Ethan spat. 

Juliet flinched again. She didn’t dare look at Joel. Her tears still flowed freely down her cheeks, only now, anger was her most prominent emotion.

“Ethan, you have no idea what you're talking about. You need to stop,” Juliet warned in a slow, icy tone. 

He scoffed. “I saved you, Juliet. Me.I gave you this knife,” he pulled the switchblade from his pocket, the rose carving illuminated by the moonlight. “I gave you your life back.” 

Something snapped inside Juliet. 

“And I wish you fucking hadn’t!” she yelled back. 

Her hands were curled at her sides, what was left of her fingernails pressed against her palms. Relief was sudden and intense as the words left her mouth.

“I wish you’d left me to rot in that basement years ago, so I wouldn’t have to live with this guilt,” Juliet seethed, her voice cracking on the last word. “So I wouldn’t have to find out everything the world had to offer and know that I could never have it,” she quietened, her words becoming softer but more brutal as she forced herself not to look at Joel. 

“You might have helped me run from my father, but he never really left me. Even now that he’s dead, I can’t escape him,” her words were pouring out from the deepest part of her soul. 

“So don’t fucking tell me that you saved me, because I gave up everythingfor you. I had a life in the QZ, I had a job, I had friends but I gave it all up to come back here, to sacrifice myself for you.”

Every selfish feeling she hadn’t dared vocalise was thrown out into the dark, sharpened with the bite of her words. 

“I was ready to die in that basement again. I wantedto die in that basement. Why couldn’t you have just let me die?” Juliet cried, her eyes finally moving from Ethan to Joel. She covered her mouth with her hands when she realised what she had said. Juliet didn’t recognise the look on Joel’s face. 

“Juliet, I’m -” Ethan started, but Juliet just shook her head, turned around and started running deeper into the forest. 

No footsteps followed her. 

……………………………………..

It could have been minutes later, or hours, but eventually Juliet slowed to a jog and found herself slumbled against a tree deep in the forest. 

Her hands shook so badly that she couldn’t even brush the hair from her face. 

God, what was wrong with her? Why did she say all of that? She had acted like a teenager, kicking off a temper tantrum then running away. 

Juliet reached her trembling fingers up to wipe her tears, then pressed the heel of her palm into her eyes, pushing deeper and deeper until she saw stars. 

When she opened them, Juliet caught sight of a torchlight in the distance. She froze, positioning her hands on the ground to push herself up. But then the movement stopped, the torch pointed downwards and then remained where it was.

Juliet let out a shaky breath. 

It was just Joel. 

He would never let her run into the woods alone, but he was still keeping his distance, giving Juliet her space. The realisation forced tears into her eyes again, burning her cheeks as they fell. 

Maybe she could just stay against this tree forever. Let nature take her. There was something poetic in that, she thought. 

As the minutes passed her by, embarrassment stung deeper than the cold in her fingers. Ethan was wrong, he shouldn’t have said what he said. But Juliet was wrong too. It wasn’t his fault she went back. It was her decision. It was bound to happen. And he hadsaved her, he had given her another shot at life. Juliet was just too deep in her grief to remember that. 

When she looked up again, the torchlight was closer. Juliet pushed herself to her feet, ready to face Joel. He must have noticed the movement because, seconds later, he stood in front of her. The bright light poured over her and she blinked, blinded by it. 

When her eyesight returned, Juliet finally dared to meet Joel’s eyes. 

She gasped. His eyes were black, but there was no anger lingering in them. They blazed with something different, something that frightened her. In the dull light, Juliet watched his throat move before one single word rushed from his lips. 

“Juliet” 

It was quiet and restrained, but Juliet gasped at the huskiness of his voice. It wasn’t a command, or a warning, but a plea…

Her vision blurred again and Juliet watched the crease between Joel’s eyebrows deepen in response. 

Without thinking, Juliet moved. Her body crashed against his like two ships finding each other after a brutal storm. Her arms instantly wrapped around his back, her fingers gripping the material of his shirt, pulling him closer. 

Joel responded immediately, as though he had predicted her movements. His hand raised to cradle the back of her head as her face pressed against the front of his shirt, his other hand reached her back, his fingers still curled around the torch. 

For the first time that day, Juliet inhaled a deep breath and allowed it to flow out of her without restraint. Joel held her tight, adjusting his arms to pull her closer. He smelled just as he always had, and Juliet had never felt so safe. 

Tears stained his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

“Shhh,” he murmured when his chin met the top of her head, Juliet could feel the sharp scruff of his beard scratch her skull. “You’re safe,” he continued, his deep voice somehow even lower than it usually was. 

After an eternity in his arms, Juliet pulled away from Joel’s hold. His hands didn’t leave her though, they dropped to her arms, forming a light grip on her. Juliet’s cheeks warmed at his desperate need to touch her at all times. 

“I’m sorry for what I said,” she croaked, licking the tears off of her lips. 

Joel followed her movement with his sharp gaze, then drifted back up to meet her eyes. 

“Nothin’ to apologise for,” he affirmed, shifting his stance. 

“I didn’t mean any of it, I -” 

“You did mean it,” he interrupted. 

Juliet's denial died on her tongue. 

In the dim torchlight, Juliet watched Joel work his jaw and let his eyes drift to the trees behind before they returned to her face. 

“Saw it on your face when that clicker had you cornered in Cody,” he started, pausing to let go of her arm and run his hand over the bottom of his face. Juliet felt cold without his touch. She feared where this conversation would take them. “Looked like you were givin’ up.” 

Juliet’s breath caught in her throat. She wanted to shake her head, deny every bit of dread in the pit of her stomach, deny every terrible, selfish thought in her head… But she couldn’t, she couldn’t lie to Joel. Not after everything. 

Juliet looked away, asking the trees for help as she whispered her next words. “What’s left for me Joel? I was supposed to die. I was ready to die -” 

Joel’s rough fingers found her cheek and tilted her face back up to his. “Don’t” he ordered, his pupils flaring. “If you’d died…” he trailed off, closing his eyes for a moment. 

Juliet held her breath. 

“When we found you, I thought you were dead,” Joel breathed, his words a whisper in the wind. Juliet thought she had imagined them, until he continued. “Your head was turned at this sick angle and you were so still. There was so much blood.”

Juliet’s hands started shaking again. 

Joel held her gaze as he worked his jaw, gritting his teeth hard. “You’ve no idea what that did to me,” he ground out, his words slow and heavy. 

“I lost it. Saw red. Just started punchin��” 

She flinched, imagining her father’s face at the mercy of his fist. Juliet glanced down at his knuckles, still cracked and red. 

“I’d brought you there. I’d got you killed,” he announced, his voice clear and steady. 

“No -” Juliet tried to interrupt. Juliet had orchestrated her return home entirely herself, Joel had no part in her fate. 

He squeezed her arm firmer for a moment before easing his grip entirely. Juliet’s mouth hung open, desperate to deny his claims. 

“You were my responsibility. Mine to protect, and I failed you,” he said, his voice cracking on the last words. 

He paused, letting the moment stretch out between them. 

“There was a time I thought I’d lost everythin’, when I thought it was the end for me,” Joel said quietly. Then he swallowed rough, as though the words were choking him. His voice was a candle in the dark, an anchor in a storm, and she was caught in it. 

“I couldn’t see the point anymore, simple as that,” he continued with a slight shake of his head. “And I wasn’t scared either. I was ready.”

“Couldn’t have been more ready,” he insisted. 

Juliet’s hand found his wrist, and she squeezed, desperately reminding her that he was still there with her. 

“When I pulled the trigger, I flinched.”

Juliet froze, every muscle in her body locked up. She struggled to see Joel’s face through the pool of tears in her eyes threatening to spill down her cheeks at any moment. 

“Still don’t know why,” he clarified, with a shrug. Then his fingers found her chin again, and he soothed small circles into her skin. 

“The reason I’m tellin’ you all this -”

“I know why,” Juliet insisted with a whisper. And she did. Joel could read her mind, could understand her deepest fears better than herself. Of course he saw where her mind was heading. Of course he took her words seriously. 

She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. “I just don’t know if I have the energy anymore, Joel,” she admitted as the tears finally fell. 

A muscle jumped in his jaw, and he titled his head down towards her. “You gotta find it. You gotta find somethin’ to live for’” he said, his voice dark and husky. 

“Stay with me,” he murmured into her hair after a long moment. 

Juliet let Joel’s confession wash over her. Her mind was still filled with monsters and gripped by a terror she didn’t think she’d ever escape. It would be so easy to sit against that tree again, let the roots sink in, allow the moss to cover her and fade away into nothing but a memory. 

It would be so easy to die.

This world wasn’t made for the living anymore, it was designed to hurt and maim and kill. Juliet could so easily let it. 

Yet at every turn in the road, fate had saved her. She had been forced back onto the path which eventually led her to this moment, to this decision. In the back of her mind, she recalled an old poem she’d found tucked into one of her father’s bibles.

Juliet could no longer just exist, she had to make a decision. Choose a path. Choose to live. Choose to hope for something better, something worth living for. 

She inhaled a breath, her head still cradled by the feeling of Joel’s chin against her hair. 

Juliet didn’t have a home anymore. But maybe she could make a new one. 

As she released the air trapped in her lungs, her head tipped downwards and Joel followed her movement. 

She nodded. 

Juliet had chosen her path. 

……………………………………………..

The next day, Juliet’s steps were quicker, more urgent. 

She hadn’t spoken to Ethan, she still needed time. But the three of them crossed rivers and fields, and Juliet, for the first time in a long while, felt that seed of hope plant itself within her. 

Juliet walked side by side with Joel, their arms occasionally brushing against each other, but he didn’t move away, and neither did she. Whatever was between them was still unspoken, but Juliet found she enjoyed the unacknowledged whispers of their accidental touches. 

So, when morning shifted into the afternoon and they spotted something moving in the distance, Juliet didn’t hesitate to grab Joel’s arm, to wrap her hand around his wrist. 

But as the figures moved closer, Juliet was more confused than frightened. 

With a gasp, she realised what was headed towards them. 

“Horses.” 

________________________________

@amyispxnk @shotgun-shelby @http-paprika

[littlesniggy]

Tying a knot

Soooooo....I'm not back but I really wanted to write this so yeah....hope you like it. Reader is a new recruit in the marines and is actually doing pretty well....if it wasn't for those stupid knots.

Warnings: modern day AU, military AU, dub-c, power dynamics, older man x younger woman, reader is fresh out of high school but over 18, swearing, slightly ns.fw

Pairing: Admiral Sakazuki x female recruit reader

Word count: 4.4k

When you pictured yourself in the future you always thought you’d go to college, get a job, settle down, have some kids, and live the rest of your life together with your husband on some lone range in the middle of nowhere, your grandkids running around while your kids prepare the Sunday dinner in your kitchen while you hold hands with your husband and reflect on what a blessed life you’ve had.

Or maybe you would’ve pursued your carrier, made a fortune by inventing something crazy useful or made the right investment at the right time and by the age of 35 you would’ve been so rich that you never had to lift a finger for the rest of your life. You could’ve traveled abroad, see the world and see where the wind carries you. 

The harsh reality hits you when your commanding officer screams into your face, his spit landing in your open mouth by default since you are breathing heavily. Your muscles are burning and you’re not sure anymore if it’s because of the thousands of sit ups you’ve been forced to do or because you ate something funny (the food is really not the best and you’re not sure how long some of the cans have been hidden in the cabinets, forgotten until the canteen lady unsuspectingly found it and decided it was still edible). 

“MOVE. YOUR. ASS! We’re not in sissy camp, recruit!” he yells, more spit landing on your face. Sweat is covering your entire body, your brown shirt and pants soaking wet, coloring it a shade darker than it actually is. You grunt and follow is order, trying to move faster but everything is simply burning. Your officer luckily moves on to the person next to you to scream at him as well. 

If you remember correctly his name is Cody. You saw him briefly at the briefing in week one but haven’t really noticed him ever since. Apparently, he is also still trying to become a marine, taking the 8 week training camp as seriously as you are. 

The whistle blows and everyone is collapsing on the hard ground, loud panting and groaning can be heard over the entire training ground. “Two-minute break! Then we’ll go over to push-ups!” your commanding officer yelled. Internally your groan in frustration but instead shield your eyes from the burning sun above you to get some shade. Once again, you’re contemplating why you chose this path in life and not the ones you’ve dreamt of when you were younger.

It's not that you are stupid. Rather the opposite. You studied hard to get into university after high school, had a high GPA and all the ambitions to succeed. The only thing you didn’t have was money or a scholarship. Your parents couldn’t afford to send you to college and for some reason you also couldn’t land any scholarships. Contemplating if you should apply to universities anyways or not your uncle mentioned that you could join the military for a couple of years and they would then pay for your studies. So, that’s what you decided to do. Taking online classes is the best possible option but they won’t start before September and you had to survive the first 8 weeks of this hell hole first. 

You roll over onto your stomach and reach for the bottle of water to take a big sip before you have to do a shit ton of sit-ups. 

.

.

.

“Listen up! Tomorrow we will have a high-ranking visitor at our compound. Your orders are to behave at your best, to not complain and to fulfill every task given to you! Not that it’s any different from any other day but I won’t have you lot embarrass us in front of admiral Sakazuki!” a nervous murmur can be heard amongst the recruits, earning everyone a “Shut the fuck up!”. 

“He and vice admiral Garp will stay until the end of week 4 when you will take your second academic test. I don’t need to remind you to study for this test since you will not be able to continue your carrier in the navy unless you pass all tests!” he reminds you all.

Thinking back you noticed some faces didn’t return after the first test but you didn’t really pay it any mind. You scored in the top 10% and are more than content with it. You are also not too concerned about the second test since the questions asked are not too hard anyways. 

“That is all. Dismissed!” the officer yells and immediately stalks off. You and the rest of the new recruits slowly make your way over to the shacks where you share everything with one another. No privacy, only the bathrooms and showers are separated by sex which you are very grateful for. 

.

.

.

After taking a shower you feel much better; still sore but much better. “Dinner” is served exactly at 1830 (630 pm) and if you’re later you won’t get anything to eat and have to wait until the next morning. One of your new friends here made this experience the very first day because he was late. You didn’t really feel bad for him since they said not even 6 hours prior when breakfast, lunch and dinner will be served so it was really only his fault. You have no idea why you engaged in conversation with him since he did nothing but complain that night but you somehow became friends and have sticked together since then. 

“What do you think about admiral Sakazuki coming tomorrow, Y/n?” you look up from your food at Rosinante and shrug. “It’s kinda surprising for him to come here. Maybe he has some business to attend to near the base or even on here….” You muse and take a bite of your meat (?) which tastes just like a show. Rosinante hums and watches your face contort in slight disgust at the taste and texture of the food. “You might be right. Still, I haven’t heard anything good from him.” His voice is hushed as to not attract too much attention. 

“Ever since he’s become an admiral some missions abroad have been somewhat….” He pauses, trying to think of the appropriate word. 

“Questionable?” you finish and he nods in agreement. “Yes, questionable.” He agrees and also takes a bite before spitting it back out. “Disgusting.” He huffs and you smile at him. 

“I heard he’s planned some reform for the marines.” Surprised, you turn around to look at none other than Koby who is sitting right behind you. “I’m sorry for eavesdropping.” He apologizes with a small smile but you wave it off. “No worries.” You assure him, also inviting him to continue. 

“I’ve heard some of the officers talk about him visiting another training ground and he personally threw out some of the new recruits even though they passed the tests. They don’t know why but ever since he’s been promoted the atmosphere within the navy has changed.” He informs you. Both you and Rosinante gulp at the story. Sure, there is always the possibility that you might fail a test but being thrown out even after you passed? 

“This almost seems personal…” you murmur and the others nod in agreement. 

“Guess that’s why commander prick seemed a little nervous earlier today.” Rosinante muses. You stay silent, following your own train of thought regarding this revelation.

You need to pass all the tests and become a marine. This is one of the only ways to pursue your academic carrier without falling into a crushing amount of debt. This visit might be a bigger problem than initially expected.

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.

.

You are used being yelled at. You are used being spit at. You are also (unfortunately) being used to indecent touches by some of your male comrades. All of this you can look past; you know how to deal with it, are not getting intimidated or flustered by any of it. But this is different. 

You have met a lot of different people in your life; some demand more, some demand less authority when entering a room but you have never, ever in your life met anyone who had such a dangerous and commanding aura like the admiral. The moment he stepped onto the training compound your blood ran cold. Chills covered your skin and your stomach dropped. Since now you have never seen anyone as dangerous or a threat. Call it privileged but despite your poor family you were raised pretty well in a surprisingly good neighborhood and there were not a lot of potentially dangerous people in your area. 

You want to look down when his eyes muster the recruits but you know you are not allowed to. This is an entirely new situation and, quite frankly, you have no idea how to behave. And you don’t like it.

Out of the corners of your eyes you can see that your fellow recruits are feeling the same and you feel some kind of relief. At least you’re not the only one.

“When I look at you, I feel disappointed.” His voice is gravely and sends another shiver down your spine. It also makes you listen up even more. This is not a good start for a speech. 

“I visited other bases before and I came to the conclusion that the navy will have to be more selective with new recruits. It should be a privilege to serve in the navy and people should act accordingly. That is why I will personally conduct interviews tomorrow with each and every one of you. If you’re not convincing, you can go back home. That’s all. Dismissed!” 

There is a long stretch of silence where nobody dares to move, even long after he is out of view. Even the officers are speechless, but not for too long. 

“You heard him! So, you better prepare tonight! We will also be judging you on your progress today so you better get your act together!”

.

.

.

You don’t have problems with neither the physical training nor with the academic part but something you certainly are not skilled at is knot-tying. It seems so easy – everybody else can do it – but you can’t to get your head around the right way to tie this stupid knot. You’re constantly yelled by your officers and it also doesn’t help that the admiral and the vice admiral (who you’ve seen for the first time today at knot-tying practice) are watching you with sharp eyes. Or at least the admiral is, vice-admiral Garp is idly chatting with some of the lower ranking marines. 

A frustrated groan leaves your mouth when this stupid rope keeps loosening up every time you’re about to tighten it. “Fucking stupid shitty rope….!” You mumble under your breath and are about to start over again when a large shadow is covering the light coming from the lamp above. You look up, ready to be yelled at again when your body turns to stone. 

You’re looking at the admiral himself, his arms crossed in front of his chest and a displeased look on his face. Everyone around you is silent, shooting stealthy looks in your direction. “I suggest looking for a different carrier when you’re not even capable of tying a simple knot, recruit.” He says and stretches out one hand expectantly. You have to forces your body to move and to give him the rope, your hand briefly brushing against his bigger one. 

You can only watch his massive hands deftly tie the knot you’ve been struggling with, somewhat amazed at how easy it is. With a loud thud he puts the knot down in front of you on the table, an arrogant look in his eyes. “I’ll keep this in mind for the interview tomorrow, recruit.” His words are nothing short of a threat and you feel dizzy. That you’re entire future depends on this asshole and a fucking knot is ridiculous! You look down at the perfectly tied knot and ignore the admiral disappearing. 

.

.

.

You are usually not nervous before interviews but today is different. You feel like throwing up and your hands are shaking. Not only will you be stepping in front of Sakazuki very soon but he will also decide on your future. Some of your comrades have already come back but so far none of them seems to have been kicked out. Nevertheless, they looked terrified. 

Another thing that bothers you is that you can’t anticipate how long the interview will be. Some of the others came out after 10 minutes, others stayed inside for 20-30 minutes. No way the admiral will be able to interview each and every one of you in a single day. 

The door opens and Koby comes out, his face pale as a ghost. You look at him concerned but he simply sighs in slight relief. “Good luck”, he whispers as he slowly walks away. 

“Y/n!” you’re being called into the room. As soon as you enter, the door is being shut behind you and you’re alone with admiral Sakazuki sitting on the opposite side of the room at a big desk. 

He is wearing the standard dark blue admiral uniform but no tie. All his medals are decorating the left side of his chest and you wonder what one needs to do to earn so many awards within the navy. 

You stand in front of the door, whole body straight and a (hopefully) stern look on your face. Sakazuki looks up at you after opening a file – your file, supposedly. 

“Sit.” He orders you and without hesitation you follow his command and sit down on the opposite side of the table, taking your hat off.  

Sakazuki looks at you for a moment before looking down at your file. 

“So, recruit.” He begins, not even bothering to read your name even though your file is right in front of him. “I’ve read your file. Good academic carrier so far.” He remarks but you don’t feel complimented. You know there is coming more. 

“Thank you, sir.” You reply regardless. 

“What made you join the marines and not go to university?” you knew this questions would come and you have thought about the right answer all night. You wanted to tell the truth but you decided against it last minute. 

“I want to serve our country and give back to this great nation.” You reply instead, swallowing the lump in your throat. There is a short silence in the room before the admiral huffs. 

“Serve our country….give back to the nation….stop bullshitting me.” You freeze at his words and his harsh eyes bore right into you. 

“S-sir?” you dare to ask. 

“I asked you why you wanted to join the navy after school and I expect an honest answer. You’re already on thin ice. One wrong step and you’re gone….” He mused, his eyes never leaving yours. The fight or flight instinct wanted to kick in but you desperately tried to suppress it. Neither would serve you good in this situation unless you wanted to lose face completely. 

“I-“ you cleared your throat before starting over again. “I wanted to go to university. But it wasn’t meant to be. So I decided to join the navy. I plan on taking online classes later in my carrier but right now I am entirely focused on my training and becoming a good marine. 

“A good marine should be able to tie a simple knot.” You couldn’t help but look away as your face heats up in embarrassment. You hear him move and pull something out of a drawer. When you look up you see a long rope in front of you on the table.

“How would you tie an enemy’s hands when you’ve captured them and have only this rope?” you know you learnt this the other day but by God you can’t remember!

You take the rope in your hands, looking lost but you decide to improvise. Maybe you’d be lucky…

You start to cross both ends to start tying the rope but Sakazuki interrupts you. “Try it on me.” His suggestion is much more an order than anything else. You want to protest but he has already placed both hands on top of the table in front of you. 

You don’t want to tie his hands together; mostly because you are scared to touch the man in front of you. But you have no other choice. You reach out and take both his hands into yours; his palms are warm and calloused, the rough patches brushing against your own hands. You slide the rope underneath his hands and start winding the rope around them. You know this is wrong, you know there is a right way but you simply can’t remember. 

The admiral watches you and lets you finish, his expression unreadable but you know you messed up once again. When you tighten the tow ends and look up at him you are met with a disappointed and annoyed look. You press your lips together and wait for his judgement. He lifts up his hands so both of you can take a good look.

“Tell me what you did wrong, recruit.” He demands. You look at your work but remain silent. Frustrated with you lack of answer Sakazuki simply flexes his arms and hands and rips the rope apart, freeing his hands in the process. 

“This was a sad excuse of a knot but an even sadder excuse of an aspiring marine. You want to defend this country?” he huffs derogatorily and you shrink into yourself. 

“First of all, you never tie an enemy’s hands in front of them. Always on the back.” He gets up, grabbing a second rope from the drawer and rounds the table. You slightly glare up at him. Of course, this was a set-up. He deliberately placed his hands in front of him on the table and not behind his back. 

“I must’ve misunderstood the assignment, sir. I thought you simply wanted me to tie your hands.” You admit but this answer is no good. 

“The order was clear, recruit. Tie my hands like I was an enemy. Would you tie an enemy’s hands like this?” you shake your head. 

“This is pathetic.” He mumbles. Suddenly, his hand grabs your hair, pulls you from the chair and presses your flat on the table. You gasp surprised and instinctively try to push yourself back up but the admiral has both your hands already grabbed behind your back, holding them  in an iron grip as his free hand slides around your wrists.

It doesn’t even take 10 seconds and your hands are tightly tied. You squirm underneath him, trying to get up but your tied hands combined with a single hand that is lightly pressing down between your shoulder blades is preventing you from getting away. 

“This is how you subdue an enemy.” You try to look at him over your shoulder but his hand moves to your head back again and presses your face onto the surface. You gasp, your legs kicking backwards to hit him but he steps closer and presses his body against yours. To be precise, he presses his legs against the back of your thighs, preventing you from moving at all. 

You struggle against your restrains but his grip only becomes harder. “Fuck!” You breathe out frustrated and give up, accepting your defeat and the likely end of your military carrier. 

“Pathetic.” He comments but lets go of you, pulling you from the table and onto your feet. You feel humiliated but suppress the tears that threaten to form in your eyes. You will not let him see your defeat, not Sakazuki. 

“You should just quit and save yourself from further humiliation which will come.” He says demeaning but you shake your head, “All due respect, sir, but I will not quit.” To underline your point you turn around to face him, the slight glistering of tears could vaguely be made out but either Sakazuki doesn’t see it or he ignores it. 

“I can be useful and I know I will be of value. I will not quit.” You look right into his cold eyes. Sakazuki remains silent for a moment before he steps forwarder, forcing you back and to bump against the table with the back of your thigh. 

“What will happen if you get captured?” he asks you, stepping another step forward and leaning forward deliberately slowly. You lean back instinctively, swallowing hard. You are not comfortable with this close proximity. 

“Will you be able to keep your mouth shut and not rat out your comrades?” he leans down further, forcing you to back up even more until your back is lying on the table again. 

Sakazuki places both hands next to your head, trapping you between his body and the table. 

“Y-yes, sir.” You affirm his question, forcing yourself to keep the eye contact. 

“Is that so? Even if they torture you?” his right hand traces down your arm until he reaches your hip. The warmth of his hand radiates through the fabric. It’s almost burning hot and makes you squirm under his touch. 

“Even if they do unspeakable things to you?” he continues, his hand moving upwards, riling your shirt up in the process, exposing your soft skin to his gaze. 

You let out a long breath you didn’t know you were holding, body slightly shaking under his touch. “Yes, sir.” You affirm once again, your heart hammering inside your chest. Sakazuki’s eyes slowly leave yours and instead travel down your body, taking in the curves of your breasts and then the exposed skin on your stomach.

You have so many different feelings racing inside your mind but the most prominent one is what is he going to do? Is this even legal? 

The admiral leans down, his mouth brushing against the shell of your ear, his hot breath against your neck. Your body heats up when a low groan rumbles through his body, revibrating against yours. His hand traces your naked skin up, inching closer to your breasts. Your body arches against his touch and you have the urge to wrap your legs around his waist. You know your pussy is wet from his short ministration and you want to be touched.

However, there is this small part in your head that screams at you that this is a trap. But this tiny voice keeps being pushed to the side with every touch from his big hand. You sigh and let your head fall to the side when his hand pushes underneath your sports bra and starts fondling your breast. 

A thin sheen of sweat has formed over your skin and you feel the heat inside your body. How did it come to this? This was supposed to be nothing but an interview! You know this isn’t right, but fuck! – his mere presence makes you feel things that should be forbidden!

Your mind is racing, trying to form a single thought but Sakazuki won’t let you. You feel his body shift, his legs nudging your legs apart and he presses his body between you. Your eyes open wide and you can’t hold back the moan anymore as his penis presses against you, hard and hot. Your hips rut up against his, wanting more friction. 

The admiral raises his body to look down at your flustered form, his right hand buried underneath your shirt.

“So pathetic. As soon as some man shows you some kind of attention you crumble like a cookie. Look at you. You’re so needy you will even risk your carrier to get that dick.” As if to emphasize his words he thrusts his hips forward against yours, forcing another gasp from your lips. 

Sakazuki lets go of your breast and pulls his hand out from underneath your shirt, leaving you breathless and flustered. Your slowly turn your head to look at him, his eyes giving no indication of his erect penis between your legs. 

“I am not pathetic….” You mumble. You don’t know why you said that but it was the only thing on your mind you could communicate with the marine above you. 

“And if I am then you’re as pathetic as I am.” You add, bracing for what’s about to come. Sakazuki lifts an eyebrow, surprised at your reply. 

“Care to explain why?” you swallow hard but know there is no going back.

“You are the one who initiated this. You are the one who felt the need to touch me. And you’re as aroused as I am.” Now it was your time to emphasize your words by pressing your hips against his. The admiral doesn’t answer right away, he simply stares at you. Then, the corner of his lips slightly lifts up, indicating a smile. 

“Gotta admit, you’re braver than you look.” He steps back, giving you some room but also robbing you of that sweet pressure between your legs. 

He pulls down your shirt, deliberately brushing against your breasts one last time before he pulls you up by your arm. 

He steps between your legs once again and reaches around you, his muscular body pressing against yours while his hands reach around you to untie your restraints. You sheepishly breathe in his cologne, his musk reminding you once again of the wetness between your legs. 

When your hands are free again, he drops the rope on your lap and returns back to his seat behind the desk. 

“Come to my office tonight after dinner.” He simply says without looking up, your file occupying his attention again. 

“Why?” you dare to ask. Sakazuki glances up at you, his eyebrow raised once again. 

“You are brave, not stupid, aren’t you? Follow my orders and we will get along well.” He simply said and waved his hand dismissively at you to leave. You murmur a “Yes, sir” and slowly make your way over to the door. 

“Oh, and one last thing, recruit. Bring that rope with you. I think I need to teach you some more knots.” Your face heats up one last time, your hand clutches around the fabric, and you hurriedly open the door to leave his office. 

What the fuck did  just happen?!

[starstofillmydream]

Unpopular opinion on Commander Cody?

Hi anon! Thank you for the question! 😊

Okay, I can see this ruffling some feathers, so if you don't agree with my opinion, that's okay! I just want things to stay civil, even if people disagree 😅

My unpopular opinion of Commander Cody is twofold: 1) the "sunshine commander" narrative needs to go, and 2) Cody needs to be separated from Obi-Wan's character.

(1) The "sunshine commander" narrative needs to go.

I've talked about this before, but I'm sick of seeing Cody being characterized as "the sunshine." It's inaccurate and a tired assessment. Just because the fandom assumes the sunrise is painted on his armor doesn't mean we should automatically ascribe him to "sunshine" traits—you have to think about the connotations. In media, personifying characters as "the sun" and personifying characters as "the sunshine" are two completely different projects. A character personified as "the sun" has steadfastness and strength/power—after all, the sun leads the day. But it also burns and is dangerous. A character personified as "the sunshine" is cheery, upbeat, quirky, optimistic/idealistic, and sometimes, ditzy. Because Cody clearly doesn't fall under the latter, it would be more fitting to characterize him as a "sun" character (if you're even going to do that at all, because honestly, it's not even necessary. Categorizing clones as stock characters/characters in a trope minimizes the individuality and complexity they try so hard to establish, since you're only attributing them to one personality trait). Cody is a marshal commander—he leads a third of the Grand Army of the Republic under Kenobi, and for good reason. He's calm and collected under pressure; extremely intelligent, especially in military strategy/tactics; has insane combat skills, both with a blaster and hand-to-hand; he's stern and disciplined in order to keep his men alive; and he's diplomatic and has a sound moral compass. Most clones, including Cody, have a jaded outlook on life because of all they experienced during the war, both in combat and out of combat (e.g., Cody's hesitance to believe Rex that Echo was alive in TCW S7E1). There is nothing cheery, upbeat, quirky, optimistic/idealistic, ditzy, and thus sunshine-y, about the guy. He's not frolicking in a field of flowers and stopping to smell the roses—he's a soldier, a highly-trained and cunning one at that. So stop diminishing that core part of him just to fit an inaccurate narrative.

(2) Cody needs to be separated from Obi-Wan's character.

I swear, I can't see a sentence with Cody's name in it without Obi-Wan being in there too. Let Cody live his own life on his own terms without his general encroaching on it! There is so much more to Cody as a person than being Obi-Wan's shadow, and thank God for the writers of TBB S2E3 for showing that so clearly (I know people love to bring up the fact Cody frowned when Crosshair mentioned the Jedi being traitors and that Cody's negotiation skills with Tawni Ames came from Obi-Wan being "the negotiator" and all...but what if...and stay with me...Cody did that all on his own? You know, because he's one of the most brilliant minds in the Republic's military?). It hurts me so much to see Cody cast aside as a side-kick (or romantic interest, which I'm not personally a fan of. Cody would not be desperate enough to be in love with his general. Come on now. The man has standards, and disrupting the military hierarchy is a little icky, in my opinion. The power dynamics will always be off, whether people want to recognize that or not.)—I listed a whole bunch of canon attributes above that people seem to conveniently forget. People in the fandom are very selective as to which clones they give grace and which clones they do not. Cody is one of the clones they do not, as well as Bly, Crosshair, and Dogma, to name a few. But, what blows my mind is that clones like Fox—who only get a few minutes of screen time in the entire Clone Wars series—are given complex personalities, fanon-created faces, and ships with multiple people while Cody, who is the first live-action named clone we meet, is completely dependent on Obi-Wan. It's such a strange phenomenon.

That was long-winded, sorry anon 😅

Hang out with me ask game!

[starlightandsouls]

Fallen Hearts

Warnings: accusations of treason, torture, death, suicide, betrayal, blood (this is kind of dark so read with caution)

18+ MINORS DON'T INTERACT

A/N: Well I finally got done with this piece. Honestly it just might be my favorite thing that I have ever written, so here it is: my magnum opus. I truly hope anyone reading it feels at least a part of the emotion I tried pouring into this and if you like it please do let me know what you think! This fic soo much effort and emotion from my end so your comments really make it all worth it)

(Inspired by the song Eleanor Rigby- Cody Fry Although I don't believe I could do justice to the song, this fic is not nearly as emotional or dramatic as I wanted it to be. But then again how do you live up to this masterpiece of a song?)

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Azriel had never been one for afternoon picnics or eating apple pie under its own apple tree or relationships at all, come to think of it. But as it turns out, having a mate does change a person. Your personality, your very soul starts shifting; learning, becoming better acclimated to its lost twin. You begin doing things you would never have imagined just to make them happy. And that is how he ended up here; sprawled across a blanket, his back to the vast apple tree with his mate in his arms, munching on her hand made pies. Then again, Azriel would eat anything his mate blessed him with, just because he knew how happy it made her when he complimented her cooking.

The air was not stifling, despite the fact that they were well into the summer months. Summers here weren’t that long. Mostly because of the towering mountains surrounding the city that blessed them with good weather. But the two months that they did have summer were the worst out of the entire year. Velaris was usually boiling this time of year. However it seemed like the Mother had blessed them with good weather this time.

So they were lounging outside their sea side home, basking in the summer sun before it became insufferable. A few months later Azriel would reminisce this exact moment, try to relish in the meagre happiness its fading memory would provide and beat himself up for taking it for granted. But then again it wasn’t his fault. How could they have known they were happy? That this was all the happiness they would get?

.................................................................................

Azriel and Selene had been mated for well over three centuries, the other two you had been the closest of friends. That simple fact always brought her joy; that in their five centuries of life, she had always had Azriel. It was as if you were twin souls, meant to find and love each other.

The love you two shared was known all across Prythian. Everyone knew of the Shadowsinger and his mate, sister to the Heir of Night, closest to the High Lord Rhysand. Just as this fact was second nature to many, everyone knew not to get between the two of them, knowing they would gladly burn the world down, if just to keep the other warm. So deep and unconditional was their love. A force as constant, as eternal as the sun and the moon. Or at least they had thought it to be.

The war with Hybern had been won over half a decade ago and peace had settled. A hard won peace that had cost everyone a little too much. While all the courts were trying to rebuild, themselves and their diplomatic relationships with each other, they had remained blissfully unaware of a new threat lurking in their shadows, bidding its time to show its hand.

Rhysand, however, had begun to feel uneasy. Maybe it was instinct or just the unfamiliarity with peace after so so many years of pain, that something began unsettling him. He tried to hide it, if only for his family’s sake. They had all sacrificed too much for him to bother them with his unreasonable fears. But soon they began to notice his off putting behaviour. Azriel, of course, was first.

The two were playing chess in his office, as they often did. Cassian had gone to Illyria with Nesta to monitor the training camps, to ensure that no female was being mistreated despite the new laws. They had been vigilantly cracking down om anyone who toed the line. Rhysand had sworn to his mother that he would change the centuries old, misogynistic customs of the Illyrians. And now that he had the power to rule without any threats, he would do anything to ensure it.

But it seemed that his silence didn’t go unnoticed by his brother. Perhaps he was taken aback by Rhysand’s unusually quiet manner, given that that was usually Azriel’s job.

“What’s on your mind brother,” Azriel asked nonchalantly without looking up from the chess board, where he was getting closer and closer to besting Rhysand.

Rhysand didn’t reply, simply because he didn’t notice. His thoughts were too consuming, too rampant.

“Rhysand,” Azriel repeated, “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. Everything’s alright,” Rhysand said. What’s the harm in trying? Azriel quirked an eyebrow, telling that he wasn’t going to fall for this lame response.

Sighing, he replied, knowing he could lie to anyone, put up a facade for anyone. But not Azriel. His brother had always been the one to see through his mask that had fooled countless others so easily.

“Honestly, I don’t know either. And that’s actually exactly the problem. Everything is fine. But for some reason I’ve been feeling so uneasy, like something is going to go wrong.”

Azriel listened carefully without any interruptions. This was one thing he loved about Azriel; he was a great listener. He never judged him or gave him false reassurances, never tried to dismiss his concerns.

“Is something in particular bothering you?” Azriel inquired, seamlessly taking on the role of Spymaster, always ready to fulfil his duty.

“That’s the problem. There is no specific threat or danger that’s worrying me. I just can’t shake this feeling of dread. I swear Azriel this paranoia is going to drive me crazy. Such small things start bothering me these days. Like how Beron was acting in the last meeting. I mean he was an asshole as usual, but nothing other than that,” Rhysand started rambling. All his concerns and worries started bubbling to the surface, knowing Azriel was the one person he could vent to without any repercussions.

“Okay, so Beron’s acting strange. If you want I can go do some recon in Autumn. Figure out if those foxes are upto something,” Azriel offered. Rhysand could see the cogs turning in his head, already planning how he would go about it. Rhysand rushed to refuse before Azriel could formulate a plan.

“No, its fine. There's no point in going to that hellhole and riling up Eris. Plus my sister would skin me alive if I put you in danger without any reason.”

At the mention of Selene, a small smile bloomed on Azriel’s face, and seeing him made Rhysand do so as well. Azriel had gone through so much in his childhood and then when they had grown up as well. No family, no siblings. Sure Rhysand and Cassian were his sworn brothers but it was that feeling of having someone that was yours, truly and only yours, was more blissful than anything. And Azriel had found that in Rhysand’s sister. While it had been a bit off-putting at first, if only because it was his job as a big brother, later he had felt nothing but joy at the thought of the two people he loved most in his life, finding their happiness with each other. And both of them deserved it. After everything, if there was anyone who deserved it, it was Azriel and Selene.

After the game finished, which Azriel so gleefully won, he got up to leave, but not before adding,

“Hey, if you need anything, I’m here. Just say the word.”

Rhysand had only smiled and nodded, knowing his brother would almost put his duty first and foremost, sometimes even before his life. If only he had remembered this simple fact.

.................................................................................

Azriel’s POV...

Leaving Rhysand’s office, Azriel made a beeline towards Selene. His shadows had informed him that she was in the training ring. Of course. Despite there not even being a bare hint of a conflict let alone a war, you and Cassian insisted on training everyone everyday. The two of them claimed that should the need arise, they all needed to be ready. Azriel prayed to the Mother that it never did.

However, it appeared she was alone right now. Perhaps getting in some extra work out. Hypocrite. Sel was were always chastising him for working too hard, always forcing him to take one too many breaks. While she herself often toiled away in the training arena for hours and hours on end. Like he had said: hypocrite.

Walking in, he saw her slashing away at the dummy with her sword. Each strike was precise and lethal, the picture of perfection. For a moment, Azriel simply stood their quietly, waiting a second to take in the sight before him. Even covered in sweat and your leathers, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Night embodied in the form of a heavenly angel, a gift from the Mother to show mere mortals what true beauty looked like. Each day Azriel thanked the Gods for blessing him with this brilliant female for a mate but he knew deep down, even if he were to worship Selene for a thousand years more, it would never be enough to show even a trickle of his devotion. She was his muse, his reason for life, the one who held the keys to his soul and heart.

Despite his chosen silence, Azriel knew she had noticed him. If not because of his shadows, maybe because of the love pouring in openly through the bond. Selene always tried to feign annoyance at his ‘cheesiness’ as she called it, but he knew from the blush that adorned her cheeks and the blinding smile that lit up her face, that deep down Selene adored it. So he kept doing it every single day; reminding her how much she meant to him. He only hoped it was enough.

Finally putting down her sword, Selene turned to him with that smile of hers. She walked right over to him and instantly put her arms around him.

“Well hello there, handsome. How did you find your way to our humble abode,” she mocked as Azriel had honestly been scarce in the training arena these days. He had been occupied with either spying or some other task which, for once, left no time for training. A fact that his mate often loved to tease him about; that if he didn’t start training sooner or later, he was going to become an old crone.

“I was told there was a rather pretty female here who was getting quite lonely. I thought maybe I should go offer her some company?” he joked right back. Only with Selene did he ever leave his guard down like this, only with her did he let this side of him show.

“You’re shameless, you know that?” she said, laughing her melodious laugh that would make the sweetest nightingales shy away.

“You love me anyways,” he whispered back.

“That I do. I love you Azriel, more than anything else in the world. You’re my everything.”

Azriel only leaned forward and kissed her forehead and both of her closed eyes. It was the softer moments like this that brought Azriel the most joy. Not that he wasn’t thankful for each second he got to spend with Selene. But something about when it was just the two of them, surrounded by silence, quietly expressing their love for each other that touched his heart the most. Even when she simply held his hand, he felt powerful enough to conquer the world. That loneliness he had felt ever since he was a child disappeared when he had first befriended her and had not reared its ugly head towards him ever since. Such was her power, and he has been in awe of it for just as long.

....................................................................

Three months had passed ever since, when it began. Disappearances, murders. People going missing left and right in all seven courts. And these were no ordinary people; nobles, court officials, warriors. Panic had begun to spread. No one had the slightest idea who was doing it or what their intentions could be. As the summer heat reached its peak, stifling everyone’s breaths, so did the uncertainty, the anxiety of the current events.

All seven courts were scrambling to find the reason behind these disappearances, a culprit, a reason. Something that would at least give them a hint as to what to expect, how to prepare. Azriel, himself, hadn’t slept in almost two weeks or if he had, it had been for an hour only at best. He had gone longer without rest, but the stress of everything was starting to get to him. Well that and the fact that he had come up with no answers. He was supposed to be good at this, it was literally his job. His entire family was looking to him for answers, when he had absolutely none to give. And the feeling of letting them down, risking putting them in danger because of his incompetence scared him more than anything.

Selene had been the only one to notice; how he was so tense all the time, how the bags under his eyes had become deeper everyday, how even his beautifully carved face had become gaunt, pale, because she knew he hadn’t been eating properly. She saw it perhaps because she was the only one he let see through his mask. Everyone needed him right now. He couldn’t afford to break down. But around her... he could take a second to breathe, to not put up a facade. She constantly reassured him that he didn’t have to do this alone, that he didn’t have to bear this burden alone. But what could he do? Centuries of experience had ingrained into his very being this sense of duty that he couldn’t shake off no matter what.

However, at the last meeting where Azriel had all but collapsed as he gave Rhysand his report, Selene had finally put her foot down. Despite everyone’s protest she had dragged him home, saying he needed rest, that everyone else could survive without him for a couple of hours. Now Azriel himself had also opposed this decision, albeit half heartedly. Because no matter how much he wanted to work, Azriel knew he had to be honest with himself. With how exhausted he was right now, if he tried to winnow somewhere Azriel knew it would end in a disaster. Selene had quickly shut up everyone’s arguments with a swift reprimanding and has dragged him home.

Which was how they ended up here; in their room, where Azriel sat in an armchair while Selene prepared the bed. In all honesty, Azriel knew he should help but he realised he would probably faint and increase her work even more. So he stayed still. While Selene fluffed up the pillows, Azriel gazed out the window to their garden. Only some time ago, the two of them had been having a picnic under their apple tree, blissfully unaware of what awaited them. The same, luscious tree that had held ripe apples for them just some time ago was now bare. The leaves were sparse, the branches lightning every day. The leaves were turning a pale yellow, losing that healthy green. Perhaps it was a sign of winter. Although it was still far off, the thought still unsettled him for some reason.

“Azriel.”

Selene’s voice calling out to him broke Azriel out of his reverie. Turning to her, he saw she was holding out a hand to him, signalling him to join. Each step felt like he dragging mountains as he walked across the room to her.

As he lay down with her, Azriel suddenly felt a strange sense of peace, of silence, wash over him. Selene began running her fingers through his hair, which really made him melt. Closing his eyes, he took in her scent. It never failed to soothe him, always grounding him.

“You know you can relax right. Not everything is your responsibility. Let others help you out as well,” she whispered into his hair. He knew she purposely kept her voice low for him, knowing when he was this exhausted, this overwhelmed, loudness always made it worse.

“I know but... I just feel so guilty. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me. And I am trying, I really am. I just...”

“Shhh. Its okay Azriel. I know how hard you work, how dedicated you are to this court. And so does everyone else. You don’t need to prove it. You’re overworking yourself, my love. And until and unless you get some proper rest, I’m not letting you go out there. Cauldron knows what’s going on. And if you’re putting yourself in harms way, you need to be prepared. I... I can’t lose you, Azriel,” Selene cried out, her fears finally coming out.

“You’re not going to, my love. I promise. I always do don’t I? I’ll always come back to you,” he reassured her.

“You better, you big bat.”

The two of them got around four hours of sleep before someone came knocking on their door. While Selene was grumbling about it not being enough, Azriel knew with the current circumstances even that was a luxury.

It turns out Rhysand needed both of them for different tasks. Azriel was to go to Winter court to check on a lead that Kallias had apparently found. Selene was going to Day, to help out Helion with his forces. Rhysand had commented that he didn’t want to split the two of them up, but right now he needed all the hands he could get.

They had begrudgingly agreed and had left for their respecting missions, not before a hearty goodbye. Not a single soul in Prythian could have predicted what was about to happen as the two lovers went their separate ways. If only they had known this was the last time they would ever see each other again. Maybe they would relished in the moment more, maybe they would have spent more time together. Maybe, maybe, maybe. In the end everyone was left dreaming of how, maybe, they could have stopped what was about to happen.

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Feyre POV...

The last few weeks had been difficult for everyone, but Feyre thought it was even worse for herself and Rhysand. They were supposed to be the leaders of their court, supposed to assure them and provide all the answers, tell them that everything would be okay. But with every disappearance, she felt like she was failing her people. Helpless and aimless, the two of them were struggling to keep the court together, to stop the panic from turning into pure hysteria and chaos.

Right now, she was the only one in Velaris. Everyone else had gone somewhere or the other to try to figure out something about this new threat. Feyre had gone on the last round to Dawn Court whose villages had just been attacked, to see if they could perhaps find some semblance of an idea as to what the hell has been going on. While she had come back empty handed, it was her turn to stay with Nyx as Rhysand left this time.

Feyre was alone in the House of Wind, save for Nyx and Elain. After crying his throat soar, Nyx had finally gone to sleep. Elain had gone to put him to bed while Feyre read some of Azriel’s reports, desperate to find anything they could have missed the first time round.

She had just put the last of the papers down, her eyes heavy from all the reading, when a scream pierced the stagnant silence that had settled over the House. Instantly Feyre was on her feet. Had someone infiltrated the House, despite all the wards around it. She was all alone as well. No matter, Feyre was enough for whatever coward had dared to intrude her home. Nyx... Oh gods Nyx... no no no

Feyre ran through the halls, dread filling her as she prayed to whatever deities that listened, that the intruder was nowhere near her son. If something happened to him, she would raze the whole world down.

She had just turned a corner, when she slammed into Elain, who was clutching a crying Nyx in her arms. Thank the Cauldron. It was only did she realise that Elain was crying too, with a bleeding gash down her face.

“Elain, what happened? Elain, where are they? Elain!” she yelled at him, shaking her shoulders, trying to will her into speaking. But Elain kept on sobbing, shaking her head, she started hyperventilating. Only a second later, Elain’s gaze zeroed in on something behind Feyre’s back, and she screamed.

Pushing Elain and Nyx behind her, she yelled at them to run as she turned to meet the invader head on. Whoever it was, had laid a hand on her sister, and for that they would die a most gruesome death.

A hooded figure stood on the other end of the hallway, knives in both hands. Only, one of them was dripping in blood. Elain’s blood. Blood that could have easily been her son’s. The thought enraged her beyond reason, as she charged at the male.

The male was on her before she could reach him. His knives lashing out, each strike intending to kill. Feyre barely missed some of them. Shit. He was really, really good. All of her hits went amiss. Whether those be from her dagger or her power. The male evaded her in every way.

A kick to the ribs knocked the air from her lungs as Feyre collapsed on the floor. In front of her, the male reached for another weapon. Closing her eyes, she tried reaching Rhysand. She had forgotten where he had gone, but only hoped that he could feel her distress.

Feyre felt her assailant get closer and closer until she opened her eyes. Before she could give in to her fate, the glint of the dagger in his hands caught her eye. It couldn’t be.... Perhaps the blood loss had made her delusional. There was no way what she was seeing could be true. For the dagger in the male's hand, the one against her neck... was Truth Teller.

Summoning what last strength she had left, Feyre pushed herself off the ground and reached up to the man’s head. As she pulled down his hood, a cry of anguish escaped her. At that moment Feyre wished it had been someone else, anyone else. That it was some other pair of eyes sneering back at her, that it wasn’t the friendly hazel one’s she had grown accustomed to. That it wasn’t Azriel glaring down at her.

“Why?” was all she could croak out with his knife pressed against her throat.

Azriel said nothing and only pressed the blade closer, presumably to finish her off. Just as she has resigned her fate, a cry sounded out,

“Feyre!”

Rhysand. He had heard her. He was here. Thank the Cauldron. At the sound of his voice, Azriel got off of her and disappeared into the shadows.

That was how Rhys found her, crumpled on the ground, tears of her own making their way down her face. She understood now why Elain had been crying the way she was. This betrayal was so unfathomable, she couldn’t wrap her head around it despite seeing it with her own two eyes. It just wasn’t possible...

Rhysand skidded to a halt as he crouched down next to her,

“Feyre are you alright? Are you hurt?” and just like Elain, Feyre was now speechless. How could anyone expect her to put to words what she had just witnessed.

“Feyre, what happened? Where’s Nyx?” Rhysand cried out as he shook her again, probably scared out of his mind.

Given the situation, Feyre did what she could do in the moment. She tapped against his mental shields, asking to be let in, then showed Rhysand the memory of just a few moments ago.

The only sign Feyre had to tell her that he had seen it, was Rhysand going wholly still. The colour drained from his face as it became ghost white. He too crumpled on the floor. Eyes empty, staring at the wall before him, not looking at anything in particular. The hurricane of emotions going through him right now was unimaginable to Feyre. Azriel was his brother... to expect this from him....

Rhysand POV..

After the shock had lessened, but still not gone, he had called back everyone in his family. He had then proceeded to show them the same memory Feyre had shown him. Not Selene. His poor, innocent sister. To be subjected to such pain was something he would never wish for his darling sister. He would deal with her later. Right now he needed to deal with a traitor.

The emotions of everyone were varied, as expected. Cassian had protested the most, blowing up within an instant of seeing the memory.

“Rhysand, tell me you’re not falling for this. Tell me you don’t think our brother is a traitor,” Cassian roared at him, questioning him like Rhysand was in the wrong. The audacity of it surprised him.

“Are you suggesting my mate is lying? That your High Lady is lying!” Rhysand yelled right back.

“It could be a mistake. Maybe... she didn’t know what she saw. It...it can be a trap. Maybe someone’s trying to set him up... He would never... Azriel would never do this.”

“For Cauldron’s sake, Cassian! Feyre SAW him! What else do you want? What more proof that you want that that bastard is a traitor! That treacherous son of a bitch laid his filthy hands on my mate. And for that I’ll cut his head off. If any of you try to intervene, you can die right along with him!” Rhysand threatened, ensuring that everyone understood how serious he was being.

He had barely finished his sentence when the door to his office was opened. For the second time that night, Rhysand found himself speechless. For before them, stood none other than Azriel. Relaxed and unabashed. As if he hadn’t committed treason. As if he hadn’t betrayed the only family he had ever known. That pathetic son of a bitch...

Azriel walked in coolly, not showing any signs of the suiting emotions whatsoever. As he felt everyone’s gaze on him, the bastard had the audacity to ask,

“What’s going on here? Is everything alright?”

The one simple statement broke whatever fragment of reverse Rhysand had left. Whatever patience, uncertainty there was left went out the door. Instead it was replaced with white hot rage.

All Rhysand saw was red. His fury gone beyond any bounds, any and all sense of reason gone with it. He wanted Azriel’s blood. And he wanted it now.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he moved across the room and punched Azriel right in the face. And he did it again and again and again until Azriel’s face was nothing but a bloody pulp. Eventually, Azriel pushed him off long enough to ask,

“Rhysand, what... why are you doing this? What are you doing?”

The question was answered only by a kick to the ribs. Azriel groaned and rolled to the side, coughing up blood. The sight brought him more pleasure than it should have. At that moment Rhysand felt like a crazed animal. The sight of spilled blood exciting him to shed even more.

Rhysand hauled up Azriel and slammed him against the wall, he then spat at him,

“You thankless son of a bitch, after everything I’ve done for you! Five hundred years, Azriel! Five centuries together... I thought you were my brother... and you go and stab me in the back?”

Rhysand then showed him Feyre's memory, hoping that maybe it would quell this bastard’s stubbornness. Azriel’s eyes widened as he took it in.

“That’s not me! Rhysand... how can you even think of believing that. I would never... I was in Winter! You sent me to Winter!” Azriel croaked out, still making excuses.

“You lying bastard. But don’t worry. I know just how to make you talk.”

Rhysand then grabbed Azriel by the collar and winnowed to the one place traitors like him deserved to dwell. The Court of Nightmares. It had been Azriel’s area of expertise and now the same place Rhysand would use to break him.

Dragging him to the cells in the bottom most pits of this miserable place, Rhysand threw all concern as to who was watching, or what they might think out the window. The only thing on his mind was vengeance. The pain of this betrayal only fanned the flames even more.

Throwing Azriel in one of the cells, Rhysand himself walked in and locked the door behind him.

“Now, tell me. Who are you working with? And what have you told them?,” Rhysand demanded, perhaps if Azriel was compliant he could be granted an easy death.

“Rhysand, are you out of your fucking mind? Why would I do this? Go ask Kallias if you want. I was with him in Winter,” Azriel exclaimed.

“Who’s to say you didn’t trick him too?”

“Rhysand, please. You have to believe me. I would never do this. Feyre’s my sister. I would never hurt her!”

His mate’s name only enraged Rhysand even more. How dare this son of a bitch do what he had done and then proceed to act innocent? Like he could be forgiven his crime?

Rhysand called on his daemati powers and tore his talons into Azriel’s mind, tearing it apart from within, trying to find some clues as to who he had been conspiring with. Beneath him, Azriel screamed as he felt he his mind being violated, each passing second feeling like knives being repeatedly stabbed in his head. Good. Rhysand wanted him to feel pain, if only an ounce of what his betrayal had made Rhysand go through.

“Rhysand! Please! I didn’t do anything! Please!”

Rhysand withheld his mental attacks, only for a moment. He wanted to give Azriel one last chance to confess, if only for the sake of the five centuries they had spent as brothers. Perhaps it was easy for Azriel to throw them away like they didn’t mean anything, but not for him. He wasn’t shameless enough.

“I’m giving you one more chance Azriel. Tell me who you’re working with. And perhaps I’ll make your passing easier.”

Azriel only sobbed below him, hands in his hair, he only sobbed,

“I didn’t do anything Rhys. Please! Please believe me, you’re all my family... I would never hurt you...”

Rhysand grabbed him by the hair and slammed his head against the wall repeatedly before letting him crumple to the floor once more.

“Do not speak to me of family. You lost the right to do so when you turned your back on us! I gave you a chance to confess. Now don’t say I didn’t give you a chance. You raised a hand against my mate, your High Lady! If I hadn’t gotten there on time, you were going to kill her weren’t you? You were going to rob me of the most precious thing in my life. Now, it’s your turn.”

Realisation dawned on Azriel’s face as a long, dark blade of pure ebony materialised in Rhysand’s hand. He tried to retreat, to cower back but Azriel’s broken body only allowed so much.

“No no no. Rhysand please! I didn’t do anything! Please! Please don’t do this... think of Selene!”

“Don’t you dare take my sister’s name, you bastard. She didn’t deserve a filthy low life like you for a mate! She loved you with everything she had and this is what you gave her in return... But not anymore. I’m not going to let even your shadows get close to her. You’re going to pay Azriel. For hurting my mate, my sister... you’re going to pay for all of it,” Rhysand threw back at him.

And then...Rhysand raised the sword and brought it down on Azriel’s back, cleaving his wings right off his body. Azriel screamed a scream of pure agony. Blood trickled down his back as the membrane of his wings gave way to the blade.

Rhysand had exacted his revenge in the most fitting way he could think of. Wings were not only fragile but also extremely important to Illyrians. And now Azriel’s were gone. Despite the fact that he despised his parentage, his wings were what marked him as an Illyrian. Now he was nothing.

Azriel’s cries died down to nothing as his throat became parched because of the screams. Now he lay collapsed in a corner, body still shivering and shaking, perhaps from the pain, perhaps from Azriel’s sobbing.

Despite it all, Rhysand felt no pity, no sympathy. Azriel deserved it. Rhysand would not let some crocodile tears break his resolve. Before he left, he said one more time,

“I hope the next time I come here, you’re a little more compliant. Do think about what has already happened. If you don’t give me answers next time... well you know better than anyone else, there are many fates worse than death.”

Azriel POV...

Even after the High Lord had left, the Shadowsinger kept on crying, shaking. He tried and failed to come up with a reason for what was happening. His brothers couldn’t do this to him. Not Rhysand and Cassian. They weren’t like his step brothers. They weren’t.... This was all a bad dream. Yes, a nightmare. He would wake up and he will be in Selene’s arms, and all will be right.

The pain from Rhysand’s mental attack and the severing of his wings had driven Azriel beyond the point of sanity, his hold on reality slipping with each passing minute. Crazed with pain and fever, he kept on whispering into the dark, just like he had when he had been a child,

“I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything. It’s just a bad dream. Its just a bad dream.”

..........................................................................

Rhysand POV...

When he returned to Velaris to the House of Wind, he was met the piercing sound of a female screaming. Instantly his heart stopped. Was there another intruder? Was Feyre alright? It was only when he reached the room the sounds were coming from, did he realise that the screams weren’t Feyre’s. They were Selene’s.

When he reached her room, he found her slumped on the floor, hair strewn everywhere, with her hand clutching her chest, beating at her heart. Feyre and Morrigan were by his side, trying but failing to calm her down.

“Selene, what’s wrong?”

Her gaze fell on him shakily, she stared at him got a moment as if trying to reassure herself that he was really there, before she started sobbing,

“Rhysand. Its Az... something is wrong. He’s hurt. I could feel it. It hurt so bad, Rhys. And now... I can’t feel him! I can’t feel him, Rhysand. You have to find him! You have to... he needs our help.”

“We will, we will. Don’t worry, my raven. But I need you to calm down first okay?” he said calmly. Selene only stared at him incredulously before pulling back from him.

“How can you ask me to calm down? I’m telling you my mate is hurt and you’re telling me to calm down?” his sister spat at him. He didn’t blame her. Not one bit. What she was going through right now was unimaginable. So Rhysand did what he could in the moment. He reached into her mind and put his sister to sleep.

Selene slumped into his arms as he picked her up from the floor. Laying her down, he ushered everyone outside.

Once they were all a safe distance away from her room, Cassian exploded,

“You can’t keep this from her forever Rhysand. You need to tell Selene. She deserves to know!”

The gravity of the situation finally started to weigh on him as his legs gave way from under him. Rhysand collapsed on a sofa and put his head into his hands.

“It’ll kill her. Knowing what that son of a bitch did... she won’t be able to survive it...” Rhysand whispered softly.

Cassian and Rhysand sat there for hours on end, trying to figure out what had led them there, trying to remember if there were any signs of Azriel acting strange in the last few months. But both of them came up empty. In the end they were both left with heavy heads, and even heavier hearts.

.................................................................................

Selene awoke only an hour later, once again in pain. The damned mating bond. It ensured that she felt every ounce of pain he conflicted on Azriel. That was one technicality that Rhysand had not thought of while exacting Azriel’s punishment.

This time it was Cassian who was in the room when Selene awoke, beside herself with pain and desperation. The feeling of the mating bond slowly withering away was enough to drive anyone insane. Rhysand would know; he had felt Feyre die once. He also knew how that it broke a person’s very soul in two.

When Selene awoke, she jumped straight out of bed and made to leave when Cassian stopped her,

“Sel, wait! Wait! Where are you going?”

Rhysand was truly beginning to worry for his sister. Her eyes were half crazed as she tried to fight off Cassian.

“Azriel! I need to find Azriel, he needs me!” Selene cried.

“He’s not here, Sel. We’ll find him. I promise. But you need to stay here, alright? It's not safe out there,” Cassian tried to reason with her, “Why don’t you sit down here? I’ll go get Rhysand. And then we can figure out how to find Azriel together alright?”

That was when Rhysand had walked in, going to his sister’s side the second he walked in. Selene took him by the arm and asked,

“Rhys, where’s Az? Where’s my Azriel? I can’t feel him. Why can’t I feel him?”

“I don’t know...”

“He knows I love him right? He knows I need him?”

“Of course he does,” Rhysand answered.

“THEN WHY ISNT HE COMING BACK? HE KNOWS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT HIM! WHY DID HE LEAVE ME ALONE!” Selene screamed at the top of her lungs.

Rhysand then put her to sleep again with tears in his eyes. Realistically, Rhysand knew they couldn’t do this forever. But seeing his sister in such a state tore his heart apart everything all over again. Glancing at Cassian, he saw in his expression that he felt the same. Their sister had always been shielded, protected. And to see her suffer in such a way, was more than either could bear.

.................................................................................

Two weeks passed like this; Selene waking up in a panic and then Rhysand or Feyre putting her to sleep. Each time they tried telling her, her broken state would deter them. Who would be the one brave enough to share her mate’s fate? Who would be the one to ring the toll bells for their love?

It was only when the second week ended when everything came crashing down. Selene was once again sleeping a restless sleep, Elain with her in her room.

The rest of the Inner Circle were in the Town House when Rhysand felt a disturbance. Someone had broken through the wards of the city. Instantly they were at their feet. Before any of them could react, there was a flurry of swirling darkness and before them stood a man.

The invader was tall, lean. Despite what he was undertaking, the man bore no armour. As if he expected no attack, no resistance. As if he could just walk out of here unscathed after barging in to his home.

“Who the hell are you?” Feyre demanded.

“Ah, Lady Feyre. Always so impatient. Lord Koschei sends you his regards. As for my name, we’ll that’s irrelevant really,” the man sneered.

Rhysand’s heart dropped. Koschei. It was impossible. He wasn’t... he wasn’t alive. How has risen again?

“That’s not...”

“Possible? Well i can assure you it very much is. Who do you think is behind all these people disappearing?” Then after adding a sick smirk the man added, “Behind the fate of your Shadowsinger?”

“Go tell your master, we’ve caught his lap dog. He won’t have any of our secrets anymore,” Rhysand spat at the man, still shocked at his audacity.

“Tsk, tsk. Rhysand. I honestly gave you more credit than you deserve. My master thought you all would never fall for this trap. But then again he did always underestimate my ingenuity. You see, we knew with Azriel by your side, we would never have been able to infiltrate your court. It was too well guarded. So we knew we had to get rid of him somehow, but we couldn’t figure out how. He was too secure here, with all of you. But then I thought: why do we go through all of that trouble when you can just do it for us?”

“What? I... I didn’t do anything. Azriel was working with you people. He got what he deserved,” Rhysand answered.

“Was he? Because I do not recall any such thing. And that is not something you forget. After all having the Shadowsinger by our side would have been such an advantage,” the man explained.

“Do not attempt to lie to me! I saw him.. Feyre saw him. He attacked her...” Rhysand began, perplexed. What game were these people playing now.

“Did he?”

The repeated questions caught him off guard. He glanced at Cassian who had a similar expression.

“Yes, we saw the memory. It was Azriel who attacked Feyre. He...” Cassian began.

“Really? Because I could have sworn Azriel was in Winter Court when I came here,” the man jeered.

“No, Azriel wasn’t....” It was then that the man’s words sunk in, “Wait, what did you just say?”

“Oh yes. It was me who attacked the House of Wind that oh so fateful night.”

“No.. it was Azriel... he..” Cassian started, too confused for words.

The man smirked smugly once again and raised an eyebrow. Then, the man snapped his fingers and in an instant, disappeared. In his place, now sitting before them... was Azriel.

A gasp from everyone sounded through the room. It was Feyre who exclaimed,

“What devilry is this?”

Despite looking like his brother, when he spoke the voice was the man’s own,

“Yes. There it is people. The grand reveal. It was I. Honestly it was so easy to fool you people. When Azriel left for Winter, I made my way here. I did the crime and poor Azriel paid the price. How sad.”

No no no no no no no no no

Before he could process what had just occurred, a soft voice echoed through the room,

“It was you. You took my Azriel from me.”

Selene. No.

“Yup. And he’s been torturing him loads as well,” the man added, mocking all of them.

“You son of a bitch! After everything you still have the audacity to stand before me so shamelessly?” Rhysand roared at him.

“Well if you ask me, I was just getting bored. I was expecting you lot to figure it out sooner but you are all so slow. So I thought why not come reveal myself? There’s no point in committing all these brilliant crimes when no one gives you its credit.”

The man disappeared before Rhysand could reach him to cut his measly head off.

“How could you?” Selene asked again, “How could you?!”

Rhysand tried making his way over to her but she retreated, getting as far away from him as possible.

“All this time... you’ve been lying to me. You lied to my face. How could you Rhysand?”

“Sel... it wasn’t my fault. I had no idea... we all thought it was Azriel... He..” Rhysand scrambled to come up with an answer, something to explain why he had done what he had. But deep down he knew, nothing could ever absolve him of this heinous sin.

“Where is he? WHERE IS HE?” his sister demanded.

“The Court of Nightmares.”

And Selene winnowed away.

...........................................................................

Selene POV..

The hurricane of agony and anguish that was ravaging her very soul right now made her want to curl into a ball and cry. But she didn’t have time. She had to find Azriel. She had to get to him.

Winnowing in to the Court of Nightmares, she willed the faint mating bond she could still feel to find him, to lead her to him. Cauldron knows what that monster had done to her mate. She would never forgive him. All of them would pay.

Pushing her fury aside, Selene skidded to a halt in front of a cell in the bottom most pit of this wretched place. Damn you Rhysand. She unleashed her power and the door before her crumbled to nothing. Walking in, she saw nothing at first. The darkness so absolute, no amount of light could ever lessen it in this place.

After grasping at nothing but the dark, she finally spotted a figure in the far corner of the cell. Azriel.

Running over, Selene felt like throwing up at the sight before her. Her mate's back was covered in blood and blisters. Open wounds, half clotted, half fresh. His majestic, awe inspiring wings were... gone. Rhysand couldn’t have done this. He was cruel but not this... this was unimaginable. He wouldn’t do this to his brother... would he?

Turning him over, she tried to shake him awake. He’s okay. He had to be.

“Azriel. My love. I’m here.” No response.

“Az. Please.”

With a shaky breath, Azriel’s eyes opened, only slightly. And her violent eyes were met with his beautiful hazel ones. Eyes that once held nothing but adoration. Eyes that had always looked at her like she had hung the stars. Eyes... that were now empty and hollow.

Azriel looked at her for a second, and recognition lighted up his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to say something but just as quick it closes. His hand slipped from hers and his chest stopped rising.

Selene was frozen in place, refusing to accept what had just transpired. Azriel’s now empty, unblinking eyes stared at her coldly.

“No no no. Azriel. Azriel. Wake up. It’s me. Its your Selene. I’m going to take you home. We’re going to go home,” she whispered, willing him to wake through some miracle.

Her hands felt the wounds on his back as she held him. They had been too deep, too lethal to be left as he had been. And those same wounds had led to his passing. Now that was what Selene would have realised if she had been rational, if she had been sane at the moment. But she was long gone past that point.

“My lion mate. What did they do to you? My brave Azriel... how could they do this to you?”

Running her hands through his hair, she moved it from his eyes. His empty gaze, his still chest mocking her.

“Azriel, my love. How could they do this to you? Azriel. Wake up. Come on, we’re going home. Azriel wake up. Please. For the love of God please wake up,” she cried softly once before panic began to settle in her chest.

Selene felt the mating bond stretch and stretch, until it shattered. The bond cleaving felt like someone had ripped her very soul apart. Her heart felt like it was om fire. The world fell away. The only thing Selene knew was her lost love.

“AZRIEL!” Selene screamed, finally letting out her anguish, “AZRIEL WAKE UP! PLEASE! MY DARLING! PLEASE WAKE UP”

She let out a wail that was heard all across the wretched court. She dragged her nails down her face as she screamed. At one point, she even stopped saying his name and just screamed in pain.

Her ragged screams were what led Rhysand and the others to the cell. Where they found her, holding on to her dead mate, pounding on his chest, begging him to wake up. The screaming did not subside or lessen with their arrival. The entire court of Nightmares stood witness that day as the Daughter of Night cried and pleaded for her mate, witnesses how the two lovers were torn apart.

Cassian fell to his knees at the sight of his dead brother. A wail of affliction tore free from him but Selene paid him no mind, she was too far gone beyond the point of salvation, as she still shook Azriel, as if expecting him to awoke any second.

Rhysand was frozen. Body, mind, both numb. His hands were shaking as he took in the sight before him. No no no. This couldn’t be happening. Azriel couldn’t be... dead. He couldn’t be. Rhysand was going to take him home, was going to apologise. He would have paid with his own life if he had to, to Selene and Azriel. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen...

Selene turned on him, rushing over to where he stood. He realised too late, she was holding Truth Teller. She must have grabbed it before winnowing here. Feyre, however, did and she moved to stop her. But Rhysand held her back. No. He would take whatever punishment his sister would deem him worthy of. His wings. His life. All were offered.

But despite screaming only a few seconds ago, which Rhysand also expected her to do, Selene only cried out softly, as if she was too tired to raise her voice anymore,

"How could you do this to me Rhysand? You put out the light of my heart. You killed the one who held my soul. You know, when you took him from me and then lied to me about it, when you took my love from me, my entire being was plunged into darkness. I was drowning in my soul's agony. The hope that I could find him again, kept me alive. I took refuge in that hope. But you took even that away from me. And who knows... if he had been alive.. maybe I could have forgiven you. Maybe we could have moved past this a century or two later. If he had been alive, there could be hope for another spring. Light could have lit up our lives again, flowers would have blossomed again. Your court would have been covered in the red of roses rather than the tainted blood of my innocent mate! You have forever changed the fate of this court Rhysand. You have summoned such a winter, whose icy winds will never stop.Everything will surrender to it. Everyone will meet their end because of it . My suffering, my pain is over Rhysand. But yours... yours has just begun."

Selene raised Truth Teller. Behind him, Feyre and Mor cried out his name, assuming the knife was meant to him. Beside him Cassian moved as well to get Rhysand out of Selene’s way. But Selene... Selene gave her brother one last whisper of a smile before moving Truth Teller to her own throat. It was then that the Shadowsinger's legendary blade spilt its last drop of blood. It was then that it took one last life, the life of someone who no one could have ever imagined being subjected to the blade.

Rhysand was frozen in place as he watched his sister, his darling baby sister slit her own throat in front of him. As she fell, he did too.

Kneeling, he held her lifeless body as blood flowed freely from her. The same blood that drawing from Azriel had given him so much pleasure only some time back. And now... his sister, his only family was gone. Gone...because of him.

The High Lord’s agonised roar could have been heard all across Velaris as he cried for his sister, for his brother who he had murdered with his own two hands. How... how could he have been so foolish? How had they come to this? How could Rhysand, the High Lord who believed himself smarter, stronger than any, had fallen for this heinous trap?

And his sister... she had died alone, without her love. So did Azriel. How.... How? How could Rhysand have done this? To think Azriel's childhood, his first steps, his first memories had been of the dark, cold cellar his so called father had locked him in. To think he had gone through all of that, had survived, found happiness only to meet his end in the same way...it was too cruel. Almost a slap to the face, like fate was mocking his brother; look, you tried to escape but what happened? Once again you return to this lonely darkness. People like you don't deserve happiness. No. Rhysand couldn't have been this cruel. Why hadn't he waited, why hadn't he questioned his own sinful eyes?

And Azriel... he was gone. His brother, the one person he could always rely on was gone, the one person who had always protected him was gone. To think of the fate he had subjected the two of them to; dying alone, in pain, without their mate by their side. Rhysand couldn't save them...

Cauldron. What had he done?

..................................................................................

The last vestiges of summer left the Night Court. And along with it, it took the last bits of warmth, of plenty... of happiness. The city of starlight now submerged in an unforgiving, relentless winter. As it would be for as long as it shall stand. For the cries of the Daughter of Night had not gone unheard by the Gods.

At the edge of the city, in a small garden by the seaside, the signs of winter first started showing. The home that had always been basked in light and warmth, now stood derelict. Doors have been thrown open, windows too. As the icy wind made its way inside the house, taking over what was once the haven of two lovers, a silence settled. It was the overbearing, suffocating silence. One that made its presence known, that couldn't help but make you think of a lost time, where this silence did not reign. Now... it only mocked the house's desolation. Look, what you used to be? How you have fallen.

Outside, the apple tree in the garden, in whose shade the Shadowsinger and his beloved had once laid, was now barren. As the last leaf of the tree fell, it was joined by the first snow of this eternal winter. Snow that would not stop, that would take all who stood before it.

Oh how they had fallen.... in the end, no one was saved.

[jedi-enthusiast]

My [ongoing] CodyWan Fic Masterlist

Hello! Sorry that this post is a little late, as I said in another post, I've been busy and it kinda got sidetracked--but it's here now!

This rec list isn't gonna be as long as the other one, since I haven't really had time to get into new fics (life stuff + the work of writing my own fic), but there a still a good chunk of them + a couple are series.

They're gonna be separated into "Ongoing" and "Abandoned" so that way you know what you're getting into and I'll put more info in the description--and yes, I'm recommending a couple abandoned works because I think they're still good and maybe with enough support the authors will decide to continue. Either way, they're good fics.

Ongoing

shoulder the sky by @shootingstarpilot

Have I already recced this series? Yes. Am I still reccing it again? Also yes.

I seriously cannot rave enough about how awesome and well done this fic is, and no amount of me harping on it will ever do it thejustice it deserves. This fic has made me laugh, cry, get really pissed at the characters, and it has me waiting (im)patiently for every update--like, every single day I check Ao3 and it's just to check if this fic has updated.

It handles Jedi and Clone culture beautifully and adds in so much interesting world building, it perfectly balances out the fluff with the angst, it handles grief and PTSD very well, and so many other things! The author is also honestly just very sweet and even takes time out of his day to reply to as many comments as possible (which is insane, because there are always like 70+ comments on every chapter).

The Emperor and His Mandalorian by wanderingjedihistorian (RangerJedi67)

Technically I think this would be considered finished, but the author has added a new work to the series every couple months since I found it, so I'm adding it here just in case.

It's a Sith!Obi-Wan AU where Obi-Wan kicks Palpatine's ass and becomes Emperor and marries Cody, son of Manda'lor Jango Fett, as an agreement when Mandalore surrenders to him. I honestly really like how this fic handles Obi-Wan as a Sith and how that affects his actions and relationships with others, as well as Cody being a sort of "balance" for Obi-Wan's dark tendencies.

I'm not even a big fan of Sith!Obi-Wan fics, but this series is the one that got me to start reading some of them--so it definitely comes recommended!

no one left to sing to by slotmachines_fearofgod

This fic is a really interesting take on what would happen in TCW if Cody took more of an active role in the story. I love the author's take on Cody's character and how both his duty to his brothers and all the Kamino bullshit effects how Cody handles Obi-Wan and his feelings towards him.

Also the ending of the most recent update had me screaming and crying at my computer.

The art of living anyway by Itstwointhemorningwhyamiawake

A "Rex is Force-sensitive" fic that follows Cody and Obi-Wan's relationship as well. This fic is pretty new, so I don't really know where it's going, but the first two chapters have been amazing so far!

Abandoned

the sun is just a star by clementines_and_colorful_things

It's hard to give this fic a description that does it justice, but it's honestly really really good. It's basically a slow burn that follows Obi-Wan and Cody through TCW and, according to the tags, would eventually lead to Order 66 happening differently than in RotS.

More Than Blood by generalekenobi

Where Order 66 happens a bit differently and Cody and Obi-Wan end up on the run with baby Luke and Leia, having to masquerade as a Mandalorian couple to do so (uh-huh, yep, totally fake--them have feelings for each other? never).

I really love how this fic gives Cody agency and lets him go "no, we're not doing that, try again" and actually effect the story's outcome. It makes the story a lot more interesting and adds to the dynamic between Cody and Obi-Wan--both relationship-wise and in their newfound mission in taking care of the twins.

I Can Barely Recall (but it's all coming back to me now) by Shortcuts_make_long_delays

Ok, so I don't know if this fic is abandoned or just taking a while to update, so I just put it here--just be aware of that.

This is a Modern!AU where Cody and Obi-Wan used to date, but broke up due to something that keeps being hinted at but not overtly stated (and fuck, I just wanna know what happened! It's killing me!), and now Cody meets his ex "Ben" again when he turns out to be Obi-Wan, Anakin's older brother.

This fic is really interesting and well written and, like I said before, I really just want to know wtf the accident is--the suspense is killing me! Ahhhhhh!

Honorable Mention

An honorable mention for Not This Crude Matter by thebitterbeast

This fic was gonna be apart of the "ongoing" section, but the final part was posted like right after I posted my finished CodyWan rec list.

This series isn't just centered around Cody and Obi-Wan, but I still think it handles their relationship--and other relationships--beautifully. It centers mainly around Jedi culture and it's honestly one of my favorite takes on it. I can't recommend this series enough!

[notthestarwar]

Fox

Fox is a fun one! So Fox obviously is barely in canon, so he's a blank slate really. But here's some of how I see him.

Cody

Boba

Kix

Obi Wan

Anakin (1 2 3 4 5)

Jango (1 2 3 4 5 6)

Clones

Is Jango a father to the clones

I have a hc that Fox really hates himself, he's convinced that Jango had to be some kind of evil to do what he did, and he's sure that exists in him too. He's terrified of himself. He doesn't want to become Jango but he's sure he will and there's nothing he can do to prevent that. He's completely wrong of course, you can't be born evil and besides he's nothing like Jango but it's a case of if you look for something, you'll find it. He loves his brothers intensely and his only reason for living is to save them from his life. I think he doesn't really show that love though. His self hatred just results in this utter apathy for everything.

He wants to be loved pretty intensely but he doesn't think he deserves it, so he's disgusted in himself for wanting it. I've seen other ppl who also think he hates himself but is aware of it, but personally I don't think of him as someone who is aware of this. He doesn't come across as someone with no self confidence, rather he comes across as someone who's a bit of a dick, and is always willing to see the worst in a situation. He's kind of cold and he's determined that the galaxy is evil and there's no doing anything about it. There's no point to it pretty much. He comes across as pretty arrogant if anything. The idea of him being vulnerable is disgusting to him, so he is just living a lie pretty much.

I like to think of Fox and Cody as two sides of the same coin.

They both are driven by this deep deep love of their brothers. They are each ultra competent. They are both willing to die for their duty to their brothers.

But where Cody is the blinding brightness of the midday sun, Fox is the sickly neon of the Coruscant underlevels, where its always night.

If Cody is the sun, burning himself up for his duty

Fox is withering away as he denies himself light, so he can spare it for his brothers

Cody feels too greatly, Fox does not allow himself to feel at all. He's apathetic

They are both scared they'll end up like Jango but they both think very different things went wrong with Jango. Cody thinks Jango had the potential to do better, but didn't try, because he'd convinced himself it wasn't necessary. He'd convinced himself he was doing the best. But Fox thinks Jango was just rotten, an evil person. There was no fixing him.

To Cody, a person's ability to change the world they live in is their greatest weakness. He is afraid of warping the world around him in his denial.

To Fox, you can not change your nature. There are some that are born bad. Jango was one of these people, Fox is one of these people. The galaxy can't be fixed. It's bad because its full of bad people in positions of power and always will be

Cody is scared of what he isn't, that he won't be enough to save them.

Fox is afraid of what he is

Again sources are from Google/ other webs so let me know if they're wrong

[pencildragons]

Jaieh Che asks him, and he says yes, and that’s why he’s sitting in his wheelchair in a courtyard of the Room of a Thousand Fountains, morning sun bright in his eyes. He feels—crusty, a filthy uncleanliness clinging to his skin, even though he had a sonic in the ‘fresher before he departed from his room in the Halls of Healing. His hair is soft, fresh-washed, and when he runs his hand through it, it helps a little with the feeling. He sort of wants to take a ship and fly it straight into Coruscant’s primary star, if only to burn and cleanse it out of him. The air smells of greenery and fertiliser, enough like the rooftop garden to make his heart yearn for it, but here it is almost overpowering in its strength, rather than half-forgotten barely-there. (He wants to see Cody.)

little snippet from the new chapter of glory be (codywan time-travel, but sideways and back*) that i'm working on :3

*description inspired by @kenobisrightboot 's lovely summary in this fic rec !!!! (GO CHECK OUT THE OTHER FICS IN THAT POST BTW THEY ARE ALL AMAZING)

[echoedcrosshairs]

Loyalty // Imperial Crosshair Soulmate AU

Imperial Crosshair AU ~ Failing to escape the empire on your tail while traveling with a data disk intended for the Bad Batch, you crash land on an unknown planet and your mate marker starts ticking down. Love & Fate aren't always on the same side. Cannon wise takes place the day after Cody defects.

Pairing; You x Hunter, You x Crosshair

Warnings; Violence, Smut, PiV, Self Pleasuring (F), Oral (small -f) Momentary Firepunch choking 😮‍💨, Tracking, Crosshair’s Trauma, Torture (mention)

Masterlist

"The sun is setting!" You screamed into com channel which was code for 'I'm farked, don't send help' the as the Empire continued to shoot down your ship causing you to plummet into the unknown planet below. You set the nose of the ship down watching it burn as you scrambled to the back of the ship grabbing your jet pack, bag and air mask. You holstered your blaster and got back to the pilot seat wanting the flame erupt as you break into atmosphere. This is going to be fun or I'll be dead. You scrambled back to the end ship after you brought the nose up and jumped the moment the ship started burning. Why didn't I refuel my pack. The initial jump knocked the air of you causing you to plummet, you barely managed to turn the pack on before hitting the tree line. Unsteady you flew it into a bush passing out just to awoke by the sound of rustling. Your hand flew to your blaster and you got up seeing the Empire's ships landing way in the distance by the smoke of your crashed ship. Why couldn't I have crashed further away? You got up and kept running, it seemed like hours when you finally stopped wheezing looking up seeing the smoke barely noticeable any more. You looked down to see the count down on the back of your hand start. My soulmate is here? You stared back at the faint hit of smoke, I hope it's just a coincidence.

Crosshair rummaged threw the crash-site with no sign of their defector, "She's not here," he growled to his squad, "Spread out," he ordered, "She doesn't leave this planet." The moment the squad was away he pulled his glove off to look down at his burning palm, the count down on his thumb starting. So... she's here. He tugged the glove on, letting the little compass in his brain take over. He hoped it was just a coincidence that the count down started while he was on an assignment but knew he wasn't so lucky. Eventually his eyes picked up the barely perceptible trace of foot prints, Found you.

The moment you caught your breath you started running again finding a small village, it didn't take long to find out they were rebel sympathizers as you found them pulling rebel flags in a hurry. They saw you and the state of dishevelment you were they invited you in handing you food and cover. Minutes turn into you hours and your timer was still ticking down. You looked out the window of the cottage not seeing any more ships arriving... or leaving for that matter. The glass of water they gave you slipped from your hand and shatter glass along the floor, your hand started burning more.

"What is it?" The elderly woman said looking out the window but seeing nothing.

You quickly took off your bag and rummaged around for a tiny data card, you grabbed her hand and closed her fingers around it, "There coming, I have to go now. I'll be back for this." You scooped your stuff off the floor and bolted back into the woods the pain in your head subsiding. Of course my mate is a slimy nerf herder bucket brain, just my luck. You stopped for a moment debating your next move, I can stand my ground here reject him and hopefully use the pain to stall him... or I could get captured in the process. You spat on the ground in anger. You're eyes scanning the town once more, no ships or advanced tech at least here. Just keep moving. You started running again. Night had already fallen by the time you finally stopped, using a true to support your self your breathing ragged and uneven. You fell to your hands and knees trying to catch your breath. Just my luck, can today get any worse? You let out an audible groan forcing your self to stand. It's dark out, there buckets have infrared. Your eyes found a river and caves in the distance. It can always get worse. You laid low quickly making your way towards it through your bags into a waterproof container and stripping off the first layer of clothes tossing them in the bag which left you bare besides your underwear, chest band and shoes. If I managed to get back to the rebels... I'm never doing a solo mission again. You put one foot in the stream and started shivering the perfect way to cool down your temp. You jumped in smiling along with the river. The cold of it keep you icily alert to every noise around you.

Crosshair eyed the edge of the forest seeing if any of the squad had followed him but it was was alone, even in the dark his eyes surpassed the visors in TK helmets. He found a small town and traced the footprints to the edge and looked around seeing an elderly lady standing in the window looking at him. He smiled watching her close the curtain, he went over and banged on the door. He stated who he was and at the mention of the empire the old lady finally opened the door. He took his helmet off and flicked a toothpick in his mouth.

"I can promise you'll receive worse treatment from me then the Empire," he growled, "Now where is my mate," his eyes burning into her looking for any hints if she was still inside.

"A wanderer left an hour ago," she replied holding her gaze, "Didn't say anything about looking for her mate however."

"Which way did she go," he said biting down on the toothpick making it splinter.

"West."

So she went East, "Thank you," he gridded out tossing the toothpick to the ground and leaving her there, how far are you going to make me chase you. He found the footprints and his legs started moving the pain in his hand starting to burn again. She's been here... more recent then an hour. The foot prints took him to a stream and he looked up barely seeing you in the very distance.

Your arms kept paddling through the water propelling you along with the current, fighting against it you managed to get yourself out of the stream. You quickly squished the water out of your hair and swiped as much water off your body as you could before putting your clothes on. Your eyes went wide finally looking at your hand, 5, you watched as it turned down to 4, why couldn't it be 4 days, no way I'm winning against fate or getting to the caves before that. Fine I'll make my stand now. You grabbed your blaster turning it on the highest stun setting, if I captured at least I get the satisfaction of knocking their egos down a few pegs. You slowly started running towards the caves thinking if by chance you got away they would make good cover. You looked down at your hands 1. You tried to grab your blaster but you already felt the armor pressing into your back and something cold against your throat holding you against him.

"Don't become my enemy," he threatened pulling his rifle tighter against your throat seeing your hand inch towards your firearm.

"I'm already your enemy, Imp," you hissed pulling your hands up and gripping the cold restrain, "Are you choking me with your weapon?" it might have been a lapse in judgement due to the high stress but you laughed which was a mistake because he pulled it tighter making you silent. 

"Rather I kill you with it?"

You detached your grip from the metal, squinting at your palm 0, "Yes I would," you spat hearing it land on his shoe, "Hurts less then rejection and no way I ever will be mates with imperial slime."

Crosshair pulled the riffle even taught against your neck eyeing the tree line again, but no movement came, "Walk," he growled pushing you towards the cave.

"Give you the satisfaction of being rejected in private? I rather embarrass you in front of them."

"Walk," he growled pushed you harder releasing the Firepuncher's tightness against you to be a bit more bearable. Even with the armor between the both of you he could feel the bond already started to tug him towards you.

The moment the both of you were at the cave he grabbed the blaster but released his grip on you shoving you away from him. You stumbled a bit but his hand caught your arm and quickly released it when he knew you weren't going to fall.

You let yourself stare at him in full black armor, "of course he's also one of the empires black dogs," you muttered disgusted.

"Black dog?" he asked not having heard the term before.

"And stupid," you rolled your eyes, "Black dogs are their precious obedient soldiers sent to do their dirty work, typically cold blooded killers who don't feel anything," it took all of your restraint not to spat on his visor helmet. You took a couple more steps away from him facing outside the cave, you weren't going to run because he could just chase you down again. You folded your arms over your chest and anxiously bit of your finger tip for a few moments before tucking it into your arm. "I use to believe Fate was infallible," you said looking at him watching you, "I was wrong."

"So it seems," he pressed the button on the side of his helmet relaying into coms his location and that he found the traitor.

He took his helmet off and put another toothpick into his mouth, Now what? He stared at you taking in every color in your eyes, the shape of your lips, face and every curve of your body. "Crosshair."

"What?" You asked getting pulled out of your thoughts back towards him, taking in the slender shape of his face and nose, the bold cut of his nose and jaw and the harsh shape of his cheek bones and the target tattoo of his eye. Then you saw the fresh scarring across the side of his head, He's a clone, your eyes went wide for a moment. He can't be.

"That's my name."

"I don't care," you fronted pulling your eyes back to the forest but you still told him your name to be respectful, "Not that it matters, we won't be mates for much longer anyway," you said kicking dust up, "Should have just gone down with my ship, better death then whatever the empire has planned," you muttered, walking away and sitting against then rock of the cave. You heard him follow you and sat directly in front of you, "What are you staring at Imp?" You growled.

"You."

You rolled your eyes, you knew he couldn't help it. The bond tugging you both together and now it be just a matter of time to either satisfy the carnal urge or reject one another and forever be broken and hollow, which for him probably wouldn't be much more than what he already is. You looked over to see the Empire approaching, never thought I'd live to see the day where I was happy to see them. You stood up wiping the dusk off your butt when you found him directly in front of you his chest nearly touching you, you tried to push him away but he grabbed your wrist and quickly kissed you before releasing you. You wiped your mouth but the damage had already been done, he'd initiated the bond.

"Trust me," he said spitting out the toothpick and putting his helmet back on moments before others had arrived. 

Another trooper walked up, cuffing you and shoving your towards the ship. Reluctantly after he pressed a blaster into your back making you start walking towards it. You got into the ship and the trooper clipped your restraints to the bar. Crosshair stood in front of you staring down at you the whole flight. When the ship landed where they took you he grabbed the cuffs and yanked you out of the ship into the building pushing you into an office making your nearly fall into the desk.

"So where's the chip," you looked up to find Rampart smiling at you, "I assume you didn't find it on her or her belongings."

"No, sir."

"I assume you know what comes next?" Rampart said eyeing your controlled composure staring down at him.

"I'll save you the trouble, we both know I won't talk so why bother torturing me?"

"We have new ways of making people talk," he said clipped, "CT-9904 care to explain to me why you initiated the bond?" He said eyeing Crosshair, playing the hologram of the kiss and switched it off.

Crosshair calmly took off his helmet smirking, "Leverage over her. If you can't make her talk the bond could eventually be used to torture her," You looked at him with disgust, you tried to swing at him but he caught the cuffs, "After that I don't care what you do to her," he said coldly.

"She's your mate," Rampart said interestingly.

"I'm a loyal soldier to the Empire," he said shoving you back, not flinching when you fell on your ass, "I will use all of the tools in my disposal to get results."

"I hope my faith in your resolve is warranted. Take her to holding... Keep on eye on her."

Crosshair put his helmet back on, "Yes, Sir," he grabbed your cuffs and pulled you down the hall towards holding which was seemingly next to his room. His eyes flashed up to the cameras closely watching him. He shoved you into the holding cell next to his room and put the ray shield up, "You have 2 days to talk or were both going to be miserable," he growled. Two days to figure out how to get her out of here. Per his normal routine he went down to the mess to grab food and sit noting the whispers had already started.

"His mate is a traitor just like his brothers," he heard a reg snicker, "I bet he's going to defect when they kill her." Crosshair took off his helmet feigning ignorance at the comments and ate his food trying to figure out a plan to keep his mind from wandering to you or what they were going to do with you.

Trust me? As if. You heard the restraints pop off and a bed slide of the wall and a mini refresher come up from the floor with a tiny privacy wall. You moved and laid on the bed staring at the ceiling wondering how you were going to get out of here or if they would be coming even though you told them not too. They'll come loyalty, is everything. Just have to stay alive. Foot steps drew your attention to Crosshair standing at the ray shield with a tray of food.

He put the food on the ground next to the bed, "Be prepared, it's going to hurt," he whispered almost inaudibly that you would have sworn it came from a ghost. He backed out of the room and saw the interrogation droid stick the person in the cell across from you, the person convulsed and then screamed. Crosshair couldn't look at you again, he silently prayed to the maker if you were anything like him you would survive. He walked into his room and sat against the wall laying his head against the wall separated the both of you. What are you doing Crosshair? You don't even know her. You are a soldier. She is the enemy. Soulmate or not. The tug on the wall told his brain a different story.

You felt the tug to the wall behind you, you picked up your food and moved to that spot to eat. You knew he was sitting on the other side of that wall. You already despised him and everything he was but that little tug was the only comfort in the same white room waiting to seal your fate. You sat here eating listening to the screams of the other person across from you getting asked the same question you probably would be 'Where are they?'. They didn't talk and neither would you when it was your turn. You were fast asleep when the alarm started blazing to a familiar face standing in front of you.

"We have to go," he said tugging your arm.

You launch to your feet, "Hunter," the growl comes from behind you.

Both of you stop for a moment seeing Crosshair standing in the hall glaring and his rifle aimed at him.

"You know him?" You asked confused but Hunter was already running again and you heard Crosshair's footsteps chasing behind you and stun bolts go past.

Wrecker and Echo started laying cover fire while Tech was preparing the ship to go, "Take my mate and I'll kill you." The firing stopped everyone staring at him, as his finger switched the gun from stun to blast. The rage boiling over in his eyes.

"Either you're coming with us or reject her now," Hunter glared holding your tighter preparing to throw you in the ship if he chose the latter.

Crosshair stared back at the hall hearing the foot steps of the clone and storm troopers coming. He tossed the rifle to Wrecker and boarded.

"That was unexpected," Tech muttered taking off looking back for a moment at how defensively Hunter holding you while staring down Crosshair.

You grabbed Hunter by the ear and brought him eye level, "Okay bandana, start talking. How do you know him," you let go of his ear giving it a small kiss but still stared angrily at him.

"The Kaminoans was originally made four of us, enhanced clones as you know. Hunter, Wrecker, myself and Crosshair towards the end of the war Echo joined us but to stay on subject when the war ended order 66 was declared the four of defected but Crosshair remained loyal to the empire and stayed. We gave him a chance to leave with us awhile ago and he didn't," Tech said aloud enough for you all to hear.

"How did you not know?" You said pointing to the very obvious mark on your palm, your eyes slitting at him.

"Crosshair is... private, he never takes his blacks or gloves off and never showered with the rest of us."

"You weren't loyal to me and neither was she," Crosshair let out one harsh laugh, sitting down in the familiar seats.

"Her virtue is still intact," Tech called back.

"TECH!" you yelled your face flushing a new shade of red.

"I can fix that," Hunter jokingly before getting serious again, "Tech is correct however, Crosshair."

Hunter and Crosshair returned to glaring at each other, "Both of you knock it off. Speaking of which, where's Omega?" your eyes went wide noticing the missing member.

"She is safe," Echo said taking a seat watching the scene unfold, "Speaking of which what do we do with him? None of us trust him."

"You can drop the three of us off somewhere to... figure this out," Hunter offered said looking at you and the conflicting across your face staring between the two of them, "Do you initiate the bond," Hunter said glaring at him recognizing the territorial posture and rage.

"He kissed me," you felt Hunter go rigid knowing what needs to happen next, he looked at Crosshair's smug expression and balled his fist taking a deep breath relaxing.

"I was going to use it to get her out before you showed up."

"Probably use her while you were at it," Hunter snapped, "Tech are we far enough away from the Empire yet?" He said kissing the top of your head before walking towards the cockpit with Tech and Wrecker, watching Echo get up practically running after him leaving you and Crosshair alone together.

You took the seat across from him, "Being in this... line of work, I never expected to meet you."

"Why haven't you rejected me," he asked flatly.

"You were made for me, I want to know why," you said squinting at him, "and I think I was wrong to judge you so fast," you saw his eyebrow raise, "After seeing me with Hunter you still chose to come but you didn't go with them when they offered... I think this bond means more to you then they know because it's little piece of yourself you've guarded even from them."

He sneered putting a toothpick in his mouth watching you eye them, curiously he offered you one watching you put one in your mouth.

"I sort of see it now," Hunter said watching from the doorway walking over sitting next to you, "You have a point."

"Aren't you betraying your mate too, Hunter," Crosshair growled.

"She's.. gone," you said for him watching Hunter pale, you grabbed his head and laid it on your shoulder, "Thanks to your empire," you added.

"I'm- sorry," Crosshair gridded out, staring at the both of you. He saw pain playing out across Hunter's face then wondered if he would be in that position if they hadn't gotten you out as fast as they did, "Thank you," he forced himself to before staring at the ceiling, not feeling the for what needed to be said. The only plain had use was using the bond knowing if you needed medical attention and snuck you out that way but that was slim at best.

Hunter gave a stiff nod, he raised his nose to your neck sniffing it. The smell was comforting to him, calming but pulled away not wanting to make it worse for Crosshair. "You can take my bunk if you want to sleep so Crosshair can have his back, I know I woke you."

The mention of sleep had you yawning, "Don't you need to sleep too?" You asked.

"Maybe if you asked nicely I'll join you," Hunter felt the death stare from Crosshair, "I need to talk to them about what we're going to and when we can retrieve the data."

"What's on it?" Crosshair asked still staring.

"None of your business," Hunter quickly retorted, "bantha in the room, none of us trust you."

You took the tooth pick out of your mouth to kiss his cheek, "I'm going to back to bed," you said heading towards the bunks feeling Crosshair follow after you, "Let me grab my stuff," you said grabbing the pile of blankets off the bed besides the black one that the bunks came with.

"How long have you and Hunter be seeing each other?" He asked.

"Working together? Almost two months. Romantically? A couple weeks give or take rotations."

"You two really haven't..."

You felt him right behind you, "No."

"Have you thought about it?"

"Maker, Crosshair," you said turning around finding his armor just an inch away from you. You looked up into his piercing strongly brewed caf color eyes. You burned your gaze back at him watching the ice in them melt, "You were my first kiss, if you'd even consider that a kiss."

"And you were mine."

You watched him maneuver around you staying in his armor climbed in the bunk, you watched him relax in it before he noticed pulling the privacy curtain shut. You put the blankets on the bed digging around your tiny trunk by his feet for some basics to get out of the uniform they put you in.

"Go to the refresher, what if someone sees-" Crosshair said pulling the curtain back and quickly closing it seeing your bare back.

You kept quiet, "It's not like there's anyone but us in here," climbed into the bunk curling up into the blankets, their nice warm embrace lulling you back to sleep.

Hunter paced back and forth, "I think it would be for the best if the three of us deal with this while you three get the data card back to Rex."

"Seriously, what's the chance the girl you like ends up being one of our mates," Wrecker laughed.

"Slim, almost zero given how many people their are in the universe... I am thoroughly surprised," Tech replied, "But I do concur the three of you should take... a short shore leave. Especially if he did initiate it their both going to be... irritable," he offered.

"He's already irritable," Hunter scowled.

"That is his personality."

"We have a fun few hours until sun up, I'm going to try to sleep. Try to drop us somewhere... safe? I'm stealing your bunk," Hunter said to Tech yawning, not that he wanted to sleep but he wanted be fully alert for whatever hell that was going to break.

Hunter found Crosshair's privacy curtain half pulled watching you sleep, "So you wouldn't come home for your brothers but you would come home for her."

"Go away."

"Why didn't you tell us how much it meant to you?"

"What difference would it have made?"

"We could have been trying to find her for you."

"If both of you don't shut up and sleep, I will get up and smother both of you," you muttered turning up and glaring at each of them.

"Mesh'la," Hunter said apologetically, "Sorry for waking you again," he turned his back to Crosshair and climbed into Tech's messy bunk.

"We'll figure this out," you whispered just so Hunter could hear, "The data is on the planet I crashed on, Rampart really wants it back." You finally got to sleep after hearing them softly snore knowing.

Crosshair woke first burying his palms in eyes before sitting up on the bunk and staring at you putting his arms on his lap. He stared down at the armor, the black that tarnished his soul and mind. He peeled it off leaving it on the floor. Out of the peripheral corner of his eyes he saw Hunter one eyed watching him, his hand pointing to Crosshair's weapon case tucked away in the corner. As quietly as he could, he unburied it and moved it to his bunk, wiping the dust off of it before opening it. It wasn't his full set of armor but pieces of it and his helmet, along with two extra rifles, his cleaning kit and paint. He must have sat there staring at it until you woke up, the rustling of the blankets finally pulling him out of his thoughts.

You wiped your eyes and looked at the figure before you the plain blacks revealing everything and nothing at the same time, slender muscle tone but not an inch of skin besides his head. His biceps were strong but lean and his thighs were slender but laced with muscle. You blinked several times and forced your stared at the ceiling of the bunk, It's just the bond. He is hot as a planet with two suns. He was made for me, of course he would be hot. It's just the bond wanting to be completed; the urges aren't mine.

"If he wasn't yours, I would be jealous," Hunter said crunching down in front of your bunk smelling the pheromones rolling off of you, "It smells nice."

"Not my fault," you groaned sitting up accidentally putting him right between your legs, watching him flusteredly stand up, "Sorry, it was that or accidentally kick you."

"Should have kicked him," Crosshair glowered.

"You've obviously never been kicked by her before," he said, "I'll make breakfast, we should be landing soon. Getting some fresh air might... help," he said gently caressing your cheek, "and maybe a shower."

You played smacked his hand away, "Yeah, yeah yeah, Mr. Smell's everything, I'll go attempt to freshen up so I'm not a burden on your senses."

"Oh, Mesh'la, it's not a burden. I just wish it was me causing the reaction," he countered playfully rubbing his hand smiling as he headed to get food.

You rolled your eyes, you took off your shirt leaving you in your chest band and took your pants just leaving the shorts on as you dug through your clothes, "Are we going casual or suited?" you called.

"Both!"

You groaned, "I don't ever get to wear something nice."

Crosshair defensively got up and turned his back, "Seriously," he hissed.

"For makers sake!" You said shoving him off balance, the touch sending a little currant down you. He turned back and finding your hands on your hips scowling at him, "Can you resist the urge for one farking rotation? We are both aware there is no such thing as privacy especially here."

"You don't have no problem when Hunter does."

"I know Hunter, I don't know you," you growled back.

"You don't know them, their not who you think they are."

"You're not who I thought you were either," you said shoving him again, "I was expecting my mate to be loyal, independent, does the right thing not some dogmatic cynical hard-nose. I have no idea why fate put us together, at this point it's almost a sick joke."

"You are just like him," Tech said observing both of you, "Direct, unyielding, hard headed," Tech said looking at him for a moment, "defiant, temperamental, persevering but I digress. It may seem like an odd match to you but it was the most logical choice. Unlike the rest of us, he was effected by the chip. We are unaware of it's lasting effects after it's been removed, I am unaware of what was him and what not but I have a pretty good assumption. As much I don't agree with him, he did abandon the Empire on a moments noticed perhaps meeting you changed things. We shall see or we'll be having to rescue you again."

"Do you always talk so much," you squinted, "Even though you're right."

"Yes," Crosshair said bitterly.

"Obviously," Tech said fidgeting with his goggles, "You should go use the refresher," He said noticing the pile of clothing in your hand, "I must talk with him alone."

"No I was not looking-" you heard Tech say as you left.  You rolled your eyes quickly slipping into the refresher. Tossing off the rest of the garments finding the obvious big soaking spot that would have been noticeable to both of them. Getting into the shower you could feel the cramping begin in your lower half, "Not right now," you muttered, Sorry Hunter, you thought to your self gently lifting your leg resting your toes on the wall plunging your fingers in. "Fark," you whispered feeling how soaked you were. You let your thumb circle your swollen discolored clit as you aggressively soaked your walls until you found the squishy part at the weird angle you were standing at. You're head leaned back against the wall letting you relax into the pleasure. Bringing your free hand to your nipple you gently rolled it between your fingers with a tug here and there. Your mind kept wondering back to Crosshair's eyes, the spearing dangerous shade of brown and perfect shape of his body. Quickly bringing your fingers to your mouth to bite them as you felt the rush cascade down you and the cramping subside. Twitching you took out your fingers and grabbed the soap to thoroughly wash every inch of you.

Hunter planted himself in a seat and sealed his helmet on which was made with a small filter to help prevent his sensory overload but he could hear your heart racing and the warning. He gripped the arms of the seat, listening to the quiet whimpers and sounds of your fingers satisfying you.

"What is it?" He heard Crosshair ask squinting at him.

"Back cramp," Hunter lied forcing himself to stand up then quickly sat feeling the obvious reaction shift in his pants.

Crosshair noticed it, "Can you hide it better" he growled, "She's mine."

"Crosshair," Hunter heard the tiny plea on your lips before he heard you sink back against the wall.

"I know," Hunter muttered taking a deep breath the scent finally letting up, relaxing into the chair, "That's the only reason I haven't gone in there," he said undoing his helmet using his gloves to wipe the faint sweat at the corner of his temples.

You quickly dried off and got changed spraying yourself down with a little perfume to at least help mask the scent that was surely coming off of you. The moment you open the door you found both of their eyes on you and your face flashed red assuming them both know. Crosshair took four long strides across the floor covering you with his body and both of his arms pinning your shoulders to the wall.

"Couldn't you have waited until we landed?" He asked.

"Mad I didn't invite you?" You said angering noticing how close his hands were pulling your shoulders closer together to keep from any accidental touching, "Maybe I'll just invite both of you next time."

Crosshair punched the wall next you adjusting his legs to hide the erection pressing against his cod piece his breathing getting ragged, "Sorry."

"I know... it's the bond," you muttered not being phased, "I would have done the same."

"Told you it's the logical choice," you heard Tech say scanning the both of you, "Both of your core body temperatures have increased by one point three and perspiration by ten percent, you two should refrain from touching or it's going to get more... insufferable," Tech offered putting the pad back on his belt.

"I'm not a test subject," Crosshair affirmed pulling himself away from you.

"Technically you are," which earned Tech a grimace from both of you.

"Whatever, do you have my pack ready?" You asked folding your arms over your chest.

"Yes, it is a little bigger then the last one however and a DC-15A, it's longer then your last one but it shouldn't be a problem... I should have noticed the obvious connection earlier," Tech said looking between the two of you, "apologies," he coughed feeling stupid for not noticing the obvious.

"Says more about Hunter then it does you," Crosshair said sulking back to his bunk putting his helmet on.

"We're getting ready to land," they all heard Echo say via the com.

Hunter finally got up and followed after Crosshair, "Did you have to punch the ship?" he scowled.

"It was the ship or you."

"Even if she asked I wouldn't have until you two figured it out."

"Oh then you would have," Crosshair begrudged.

"That's not what I meant-."

"Do what you want, it's not like she's interested in me... I'm just a black dog," he got up and angrily shoulder checked him to go stand next to the loading door waiting to get off the ship.

"Crosshair," you said following after him feeling Hunter catch your arm, "Give him a couple minutes first," you pulled your arm out of his hold, "I got this." You walked back there and grabbed his shoulder plate and spun him into the wall this time.

"What."

"Prove me your not one. Tell me one compromising thing."

Crosshair squinted at you trying to figure out if you meant about the Empire or himself. She's your mate, she means you, "I.. like to dance," he whispered knowing it wouldn't save him from Hunter's hearing, "I've always wanted to dance with someone." He tighten his jaw seeing the shocked expression on your face thinking he assumed wrong.

You dropped your arms watching the mild panic at the confession in his eyes, "I've always wanted to be kissed up in the trees watching the sunset," you whispered back. You saw his gloved hand hover next to your face asking silent permission, you gave a sniff nod, feeling his hand gently touch you. You relaxed at the sensation thankful for the thick material protecting you from the electricity of the touch and watched him lean down next to your ear, "Thank you," he whispered pulling away from you.

"It was fair," you countered feeling uncomfortable about telling him something so intimate, your face flushing again. "We should grab our stuff," you said quickly walking away from him finding Tech bent over your pack making the final touches.

"So what were you?" Crosshair asked you watching on quickly you put on the jet pack with ease.

"I think that's obvious," you said tapping the pack with your knuckles, "I taught people how to fly," you said bluntly, "The empire took an interest in that and I exploited it for the information on that drive then you had the pleasure of shooting me down and here we are," you watch Hunter toss you a bag and your discreet rifle case in the shape of an instrument, "So where are we staying?"

"Hotel on the outskirts of town."

"How many rooms?" You apprehensively.

"Three, I'm not stupid," Hunter laughed, "but just knock if you get lonely or can't sleep," he winked, Maybe he has changed because I would have punched me by now, "Anyway, figured we can drink, maybe see how your skills compare, fun stuff," Hunter shrugged.

"Think he'll scream if I play drop him?" You asked, fingers tracing over the pack.

"Saving Echo we had to jump from a height that would kill you unto a moving animal. The fear has been trained out of us, but doesn't hurt to try," Hunter chuckled.

"Heh," Crosshair laughed crudely, "Go ahead."

The ramp fell exposing a pretty empty space port. You waved back to Wrecker and Echo who were watching the three of you leave. Hunter lead the way, the both of you keeping an arms length apart but you noticed Crosshair start hovering closer anytime Hunter got close. The hotel was dingy but definitely off of anyone's radar. Hunter handed you a key card and pointed at the middle room with him and Crosshair taking the rooms on either side.

"What are we doing first?" You asked.

"Figured we could drink then I could stalk you two from afar," Hunter admired, "Just because he needs a chaperone."

"Funny."

"Missed you too, Crosshair," Hunter said keying his door to drop off his stuff.

You keyed your door in finding a comfortable little bed but thankful you packed an extra blanket. You did the general sweep of the room looking for bugs and cameras before moving on and checking the refresher. It was also small but it at least had a little more privacy then the Marauder even if Crosshair's room was on the other side. You found them both already standing outside waiting quickly noticing Crosshairs bare hands and the very visible mark. That's going to get some stares if Hunter's flirting with me. Maybe drinking this early in the day is a good idea after all.

"So dancing?" Hunter asking poking the gundark.

"Shut up," Crosshair snapped.

"I was going to say you should have brought your gloves, where we going as a dance floor like 79's," Hunter said defensively.

"There in my pocket."

"She likes to dance," Hunter smiled enjoying watching crimson blush.

"Oh?" Crosshair asked intrigued.

"She get's real fun after a couple of drinks."

"Hunter!" you said glaring.

He stopped to grabbed your hand kissing it, "Sorry, not sorry, Mesh'la," ignoring Crosshair's daggers, "Just trying to help."

Crosshair squinted at him, does he just have a death wish. He looked at how red you were. A smile tugged at a single corner of his mouth. Crosshair followed the both of you into the already dark lit cantina with people already on the dance floor already hammered. He followed Hunter who was dragging you by the hand to a booth small positioning for you to go in first.

"I'll be at the bar, but I'll be stealing you for a dance after a couple rounds," he said winking leaving the two of you there.

You raised an eyebrow at him watching him walk off, "I think the pheromones are getting to him."

"He's not normally like this?" Crosshair asked, watching you shake your head.

A bartender droid came over and pour both of you four shots before moving to the next table. Both you automatically took the first shot, then the second shot.

"Why didn't you go with your squad?" You asked.

"That's a long story."

"Humor me."

"Loyalty was suppose to be everything, we live and would die for each other. My chip activated... they didn't try to save me from it. I was forced to try to terminate them, something I thought they knew I would never do. They... experiment on me turning the chip up... I didn't have a choice," Crosshair ran his finger around the rim of the third shot and slammed it back, "Finally after getting burnt in that last attempt to terminate them, they had to remove the chip because it was scorched. I could have killed them on several occasions after that and I didn't. Even after saving Omega they still pointed their weapons at me. In the end there was no loyalty, no understanding, no trust, nothing."

You slumped back in your seat staring at him and the sullen expression on his face realizing none of it was a lie. He didn't look at you or at Hunter who heard every painful word.

Grabbing the third shot and slammed it back, "That would have broken me."

"It did."

"Why did you stay with the empire?" you asked.

He slammed the fourth shot and the bartender droid over getting four more. He smiled knowing he was probably going to drink you under the table at the shocked expression on your face. He took the fifth one before answering.

"I spent my whole childhood and early adult life living with people who lied to me who's hands I constantly put my life in. At least with the empire I knew that they were going to continue to experiment on me and exploit my abilities. I rather know where I stand and know the knife in my back is coming. I am a soldier, war and fighting is all I've ever known. I didn't want to spend my life hiding in the sewers like a womp rat. I was designed for a purpose."

You took the fourth shot stacking all of them at the edge of the table, "I misjudged you," you said looking at him, the hand under his chin supporting him as he stared down into his glasses and the bond telling you none of it was a lie.

"I'm still a black dog."

"You are what they made you."

Crosshair looked up at you through his lashes at the conflicted pained look across your face staring, "Don't pity me," he growled looking back down.

"I don't," you said taking another one, "So why did you come with me?"

"Loyalty," he said laughing, "I've always been loyal to this bond... just to find my mate with my brother," the laugh turned bitter and abruptly ended.

"I didn't want to bring a civvie into this," you whispered.

"You should have know if I was anything like you, I wasn't."

"Add that to my list of recent failures," you mumbled staring at the dance floor, "Do you want to dance?"

"I'll watch your drinks," Hunter said appearing at the end of the table. Finally hearing Crosshair's story made him realize the failures they were, he gritted his teeth and kissed your temple, "It's okay," he grabbed both of your hands shoved them together before Crosshair had time to slip his gloves on, "He deserves this," he listened to the rapid change in both of your heart beats, "Per Tech's instructions I was testing you with the off handed comments to see if you'd snap."

"I figured," Crosshair said pulling back his hand sliding out of the seat, watching Hunter slide into the seat. He looked down at you waiting watching you stare at your hand, grabbing your arm as you shakily got up, "I got you."

You heart felt like it was thumping out of your chest but you let him guide you to the dance floor, you saw his hesitation about giving you his hand again knowing it was just going to make the pull stronger. You forcibly grabbed it and put it around you, "Getting cold feet?" you asked sourly. You watched something in him snap.

His fingers buried themselves into your waist and upper back holding you taut against him making you look up at him, "I choose you over The Empire, over my purpose" his chest heaving as his breath tried to catch up his racing heart, "Why did you let me touch your face on the Marauder."

"It... felt like the right thing to do, I know how uncomfortable it made you feel," you untangled your arms from around his neck, both you staring to sway to the music. You felt him adjust his hold taking one arm off from around his neck both of you falling into quick steps in the movement following the rapid beat. It was ecstatic, and erotic the way he way to moved while his eyes never broke their gaze into you but never betraying what he was thinking about or what he felt.

Hunter could smell the pheromones from the booth, he looked down at the shots and helped himself knowing the night he was about to have. Every sentence replaying in his mind. After all of that he still would have let his mate chose me. He looked over at the dance flower watching how interlocked together they were not fumbling or stepping on each other feet just existing as one. Crosshair's face betrayed nothing, no warmth or cold but Hunter could see everything in his eyes as he looked at her. Hunter called the droid over and paid the bill before making his way over after a couple more songs seeing the sweat lining both of them.

"You two should get back to the hotel, the smell is insufferable so I can only imagine..." He watch the sniper's eyes squint to those of a predatory beast waiting to lung at his prey with a quick snap of his jaw to the throat, "Crosshair..." he said putting his hands up taking a very slow step back, "Time's up," seeing the quick territorial maneuver of putting you behind him and hard his chest was heaving with each breath. Hunter knew Crosshair saw him as threat and knew just what his brother was capable of, he took another step back watching him relax faintly.

Crosshair looked over his shoulder down at you, "Is that what you want?" he asked, "because you can reject me now-" it hurt to say but even after laying his soul bare for you he didn't want to force you to pick him knew Hunter was right there was no more time the countdown demanded an answer. He saw the soundless words from your lips, 'Bond with me.' His fingers dug tighter into you and his jaw tightened, his body screaming to have you right there on the dance floor, right for every and him to see. Compose yourself, he seethed to himself, I've ran with broken bones, stared down tanks, and jump from heights, I am a soldier I can wait. He picked you up knowing his restraint was probably better then yours.

"Someone find their mate?" Someone asked Hunter as he chuckled watching him walk away with her cover his shoulders.

"Yeah, my brother."

"Might want to steer clear for the rest of the day."

"You have know idea," he laughed the still being able to smell them, he followed after them reluctantly so he could grab his helmet from his room.

"Crosshair.."

"Yes?"

"How much further?"

Crosshair grinned that he was right, he pulled you down enough letting to wrap your legs around his waist letting his forearm support your but as he fiddled in his pocket for the key, "We're here," he said putting the card to the door and shoving it open.

He gently set you down and you bolted to the refresher leaving the door open and a trail of clothing in your wake until you were just in your chest band and under wear. You quickly flipped on the shower to cold water and put yourself in it. Your body felt like it was burning in every way imaginable and the cold water helped the pain, "They should really write a manual for this," you groan seeing him in the door way down to his blacks and then mess of clothes already folded by the door.

"They did," he quipped taking off his shirt using it to pat the sweat off of him. He joined you in the shower his pants getting soaked but the cool water revealing the burn. His hand snaked around you, fumbled for a moment taking off the bra, "Better?" He ask pressing his chest into your back lining the back of neck with kissed every kissing sending a fresh wave of goosebumps down him.

"Mhm."

"It was hard not to join after noticing Hunter's reactions."

"I shouldn't have made that comment..." you mumbled a wave a regret hitting you as you realizing you were in the shower, "I have no idea how you tolerated that."

Crosshair grabbed your hips and spun you around pulling down your underwear eyeing you the whole time, "Loyalty, I would have respected if you chose him." His eyes dropped noticing the shine clinging to your thighs. He reached out and shut off the water them got down on knees in front of you, "Trust me."

You looked down at him,"Crosshair..." your voice was pleading. He moved himself closer to you and pulled one leg over his shoulder stressing you, "I got you," he whispered.

He pressed his tongue to your clit moving it up and down you, letting tongue trail down just far enough to taste how wet you were. You gasped grabbing the side of head seeing him flinch realizing it was over his scar. You thumbed over it gently watching him shut his eyes tightly just feeling the sensation of you touching him where once upon he was a different better man not the empire's beast. "You're handsome to me." You watched him open his eyes staring into yours, the ice in the depths of his earthly irises dissolving a little further. You watched him move his mouth back to you putting his lips around yours not breaking eye contact for a second besides to blink. You feel his free hand trail slowly up your leg until his fingers were swirling around your entrance collecting your desperation for him on them before pushing two fingers in. You moan not being able to help the tiny arch your back did. His fingers slowly feeling around the ridges and curves of you eventually he found the spot causing you to moan his name. He started stroking the spot harder, when he felt your hand come to his shoulder and he paused.

"I want to you.." you got out the blush coming back.

"We're both soaked, we should dry off-"

"You can sleep in my bed tonight, just please," you were shaking, "Satisfy the bond," you pleaded.

Crosshair didn't need to be told again he took out his fingers feeling you twitch around them. He quickly stood him self up taking off the pants and discarding them there and picked up your burning body laying you on the bed. Your eyes tried down the length of him seeing the extremely hard mass hovering right before your entrance. How was he hiding that. You spread your legs a little further for him.

Crosshair stares at the half lidded expression on your face and the quiver of your lips, "This might hurt..."

You grabbed him causing him to jolt a little as you force his tip in. You watch his eyes change from soft to wild as he forces himself the rest of the way in, his name ripping it's self from your throat. He doesn't give you a chance to adjust to him before he starts moving, enjoying the way your nails dig into him and whimpers caused by every thrust. The carnal urge to have you and make you his flooding his logical brain. The soulmate bond, the most intimate thing in the galaxy finding the other half of your soul being to sense and feel them to have someone at your side you could fully trust but it brought out the hunger of the animal hidden in each of us. Crosshair already knew he was going to be an animal in bed but hated that the bond intensified that feeling but he loved the way it made him burn for you and having you feel the same for him after all he's done, a beautiful consequence of not satisfying bond the passion and need manifesting physically. He enjoyed feeling every thrust stretching you further to making him fit better. You shift making the head of his cock rub the spot every time he thrust and your pleading moans intensify. You watch his face seeing he needs this as much as you need it. He grabs one of your hands moving it to the scar as he lays one hand on the side of your face both of your arms visibly shaking. He keeps staring at you with every ounce of his need and want for you trying to convey the message that the only person in the galaxy who has his loyalty and heart is you.

"Crosshair..." you managed to get out before the orgasm takes you, causing you to tremble head to toe and squeeze into your self. Crosshair continues to pound you through it as he spills everything into you, your walls attempting to milk him for everything he had in him. He groans at the sensation just enjoying the high and being in you for yours. He lays his hips on your feeling you pulsate around him and the warmth of your clit on him, "You were made for me.." he whispered. Both of you still shaking as you feel the intense urge of the bond lessen just a bit, "and we're made for me," you smiled, "Do you want to try that kiss again?"

Crosshair smiled leaning down pressing his mouth against yours, moaning into your mouth at the sensation. Quickly he got better taking your lip between his feeling his dick getting hard again awhile still inside you. He continued to kiss you until then was groaning into his mouth feeling  his cock stretch you against him. You gently brought his head down leaving a trial of kisses across the scarred webbing before moving your mouth gently down to his throat taking a portion between your mouth and squeezing it together with your lips letting him gently rock his hips into yours. You looked at the already red bruise and moved to another spot making another one with your teeth. Crosshair was attempting to be patient while you claimed him but the moment your teeth were against his skin he returned the gesture. Each of you holding yourselves to each other throats leaving claim marks everywhere you could without disturbing the other. Sliding in and out, Crosshair lost sight of his focus as the feeling overwhelmed him again to have you. He pulled your mouth away from his neck to clash against your body better. Your hands thing time exploring his body learning it trying to commit every single thing about him to memory. He did the same, using one hand to hold himself up and other to run down your curves to fondle your breast watching your reaction to every touch seeing what you liked.

He stopped, "Was the information on the drive worth almost killing you?" he asked abruptly.

You blinked staring at him, the passion in his eyes but the fear too, "Yes," was all you could say.

Crosshair set the pace faster violently even slamming into you, the rage in him spilling over. He was brutal about his movements moving one hand to desperately cling onto yours. You didn't stop him. You knew what this was about, what he almost did and didn't even realize it at the time. You brought your knees to his hips letting your lower half gently slam into his thrust.  He shoved both of your hands deeper into the soaked bed the other hand on the back of your neck tilting just slightly so your forehead was rested against his. Your name snarled from his mouth as you felt him convulse and spill into you again. You gripped you his hand tighter pulling his head towards you unlike his pace had been his kisses were gentle and tender. The kisses where tender enough to make your walls flutter around him, you smiled as he seated himself all the way inside until everything was touching from your legs to lower stomachs. He didn't asked if you were okay, he knew you were built to take it to take him. He pulled himself out and leaned back on his heels staring at you laying there everything on display that made just for you him.

"I'm going to shower," he said looking down at the soaked state of his his crotch, abs and legs.

"Okay," you watched him get up and leave putting a tooth pick in his mouth hearing the water run

As warm as the bond felt you felt empty, Did he just satisfy the bond just to satisfy it? The question played through your head like a broken holo. Yeah the first time is usually fast and messy but it's usually by something warm and tender. You brought your eyes back from the closed door into the refresher sitting up feeling the cum drip down. You groaned, "Messy,' you got up grabbing the spare towel from the rack on the wall putting one end between your legs and the other to blot up the bed. The water was still running but no offer to join him came, you grabbed your clothes loosing putting on a layer before heading into your own room to use the refresher. You leaned against the wall of the shower quickly chasing the release Crosshair had started before he came, "fark," you panted. You took the soap and scrubbed yourself head to toe trying to distract yourself from the nagging thoughts. You shut the water off quickly drying the water off noticing the ache was still down there but it was definitely a lot more manageable. You stepped outside looking down to find a bundle of flowers waiting and Hunter in the distance with his arms crossed. You forced a smile placing them next to the bed. You joined him under the tree both of you just standing in silence until Crosshair joined.

"Done already?" Hunter asked arching an eyebrow.

"Yes."

You noticed this time Crosshair kept his distance, "Wonder what his problem is," you scowled.

"No idea but I would love to punch him," Hunter said in the same ton, "He didn't even take his time the second time and quickly ran off to clean himself."

"It's whatever, we're compatible but doesn't mean we're it into the same things," Hunter arched an eyebrow at your comment.

"He seems to like it rough, not that I apparently have a problem with rough... it just... wasn't what I thought it would be?" You said with a tiny shrug realizing how weird the conversation must have seemed.

"Crosshair has never been someone outwardly loveable person, just give him time. He probably has a lot on his mind, nearly shooting you down probably is at the top."

"I don't know, Hunter... it feels like something deeper is bothering him. I can't explain it."

Hunter side eyed his brother who was squinting at him already, "I think you're right," Hunter took a step away from you seeing his brother relax, "We didn't technically 'break up' before you two... bonded."

You looked back seeing him looking at you then at Hunter, "You should go talk to him," you watched Hunter turn around and walk towards him. You kept your distance watching it quickly turning into a shouting match and jogged over, "What the farking hell happened."

"I told him we were over, it was going fine and I suggested he try taking his time."

"He has not right to tell what to do my bond."

"I... talked to him about it," you said watching the rage in his face in his melt but you couldn't place it, "Once again he was just trying to help. Even though he wasn't asked too," you said pointedly, you tried to reach out and touch him but he moved away, "Crosshair-."

He turned back to the hotel, "Go away." Crosshair's eye stung feeling like a failure as both a man and a mate, "Next time screw Hunter," he growled, "Apparently he'll do it better."

"Crosshair!" He turned and glared at you, you felt what he was trying to hide and the faint red starting to stain in his sclera's, "I know you don't mean it." You watched him march, "Get back here you insufferable ass-" Hunter's arms were bear hugging you holding you in place.

"Mesh'la, let him-" you stomped his foot getting the point a crossed, he watching you run after him surprised that you actually got the drop on his feline reflexes.

You spun him and took to the ground yanking his wrist about his head pinning to him to the ground knowing damn well he easily could have tossed you off. You saw the two tiny tears roll down his check, his averted gaze and seething rage in them. In the bond you could feel it just at the edge of your own emotions, "Crosshair. Look at me." He didn't move then you shouted it at him, his gaze finally shifting to you. "I will let that comment slide because of the one I made. But I am your soulmate and we are bonded, don't you ever say something like that to me again," you growled at him.

"What if I do? I obviously can't pleasure you correctly," he snapped back, "maybe someone else should."

You brought your mouth down to his but he didn't kiss you back, "Fine," you said getting up and off him, "Run back to your precious little Empire with your Loyalty because it's obviously not to making this work." You got back to the hotel and slammed the door before falling to the ground crying.

"Don't you dare go back, Crosshair," Hunter yapped jogging past him, banging the door with his first, "Mesh'la," Hunter rested his forehead against the door feeling like this was all his fault for pushing them together not considering all the invisible scars Crosshair no doubtably had, "After..." the words snuck in his throat, "you helped me, let me help you." He heard the tiny movement and the door opened catching you falling again. He stroked your hair letting you sob yourself to sleep. Hunter carefully placed you in your bed tucking you in stroking the wetness off your cheeks, "I couldn't imagine a better pairing," he whispered. Hunter looked over seeing Crosshair sitting against the wall watching intensely but there was no hostility or angry just what Hunter could describe as thankfulness and longing.

"Tooka," he whispered sitting down next to him.

"Don't ruin this," Crosshair scowled leaning his head back watching you sleep.

Hunter nodded towards you with his chin, "Open up, be tender, and intimate. I know deep down you can be. The bond is still fresh, don't waste that being an ass because your scared to trust and love her. I know we messed up but she's not us," carefully Hunter got up watching his brother eye her hoping he would make the right choice, “Love her,” he whispered knowing he could hear him before disappearing into his own room putting his helmet on.

Crosshair eyed the flowers next to the bed with the words "Finding your other half makes you whole, enjoy each other. -Hunter." He hit his head lightly against the wall taking off his armor crawling into the bed with you entwining his limps with yours. He felt you stir at his presence and he pulled you harder against him, "This is what I should have done," he whispered putting his face in your neck giving each of the marks little kisses. He gently moved himself over you carefully to get the other side of your neck but before placing his forehead over yours giving it a little bump. He wrapped between you and the bed, holding you tight against his chest his other hand going to the back of your head, “I am trying” he gave your lips soft deliberate kisses, “I just… need time.”

You brought your fingers to his scar tracing it watching him close his eyes as you tilted his head to the side get a better look at it. Gently you brought his head down speckling it with even more kisses, “Show me your love this time..” you whispered. Carefully he pulled back undressing you, letting his hands massage down you as he worked off your clothes piece by piece. Ever so gently he placed more hickeys down your down, just faintly not as dark as the ones on your neck. Every mark felt like a physical representation of the unspoken verbal sentence hanging in the air. You ran your fingers across his scalp down his neck to his arms back up and then down his torso mesmerized by every muscle and scar lining his lean form.

His longing exhale set a warm tingle to your core, each touch still hummed with the faint electrical jolt of the bond making him have to bite down on his teeth to control the urgency of wanting to have you. She wants me to take my time with her, I will painstakingly long. Crosshair came back up from kissing down your legs seeing the need written across your face, “Want me to take care of you,” he whispered in your ear. He listen how you begged using his name. Quickly he took off his blacks moaning as his body was flesh against your, sneering for a moment about having to move as he lined himself up. He glided right in with your drenched slick coating him causing him to release a strained sound as your warmth squished him. I could see myself doing this again… on occasion. He stayed there breathing, one hand going to yours placing it in between your chests’ and the holding your head and keeping his weight on his elbow.

You stared up into into the depth of his eyes, this time he wasn’t hiding how he was feeling the pain, the rage, the softest tenderness and the yearning across his face. You thumbed over his slender nose to his cheek bone and up his ear to the back of his head. Just having him inside completing you made you hum with contentment and you knew he felt the same, “I don’t want you to go back…” you whispered feeling tears prickling at the corner of your eyes.

Crosshair leaned down kissing each side of your eye, "The only person or thing in this galaxy that has my loyalty is you,” then he gently starting thrusting while holding your lips in his.

[palfriendpatine66]

oooh abba lyrics? Love that! #47 there was something in the air that night with Obikin 💖

ABBA song lyric prompts

Hello there! Coming at you with a quiet post battle celebration (look at me trying out these snippets in the gffa!) apparently I have no idea how to keep these things short. I hope you enjoy! 💕

The battle had dragged on and on. Grueling days and sleepless nights blended together into an indistinguishable blur of advance-fight-retreat-regroup. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

But then when weariness had taken hold, the exhaustion so deep it was hard to remember feeling any different, to think back to a time that wasn’t filled with the constant chaos and injury and destruction of war, the tide had shifted.

The 212th had broken through the blockade and met up with the 501st and together they were able to accomplish what they hadn’t been able to apart. By the time the sun had set they had driven the Separatist forces away and reclaimed the base.

There was something in the air that night, in the simple celebration that took place under the night sky. The clouds of acrid smoke had cleared and the stars were visible once more. Fires burned late into the night, far past when exhausted men should have been awake. Yet all around figures stayed close, pressed together and voices low, unwilling to part. Not when it had been so uncertain who would be left among the living when daylight broke once more.

The Generals were among those lingering. Kenobi looked as though he hadn’t slept in years and it was a real possibility that the only reason he remained seated in the warm glow of the fire was that he couldn’t find the energy to rise. Skywalker’s shoulder leaned against his side so they were effectively propping each other up; by all rights they should have collapsed long before.

Cody and Rex exchanged a knowing look and subtle nods after they’d fallen silent for an extended period, glazed eyes staring into the flames, their faces as blank as though they were deep in meditation - or else sleeping with their eyes open which, to the commander's knowledge, was a skill neither had yet achieve. Not for lack of trying.

“Generals,” Cody addressed them as he stood, holding his helmet under his arm in the loosest attention he was capable of. “We��re going to check in with the men one last time before we turn in.”

“Yes, of course, Commander.” Obi-Wan began the seemingly monumental process of shifting to rise but was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder.

“General Kenobi, sir. If I might be frank,” Cody paused.

“Go on.”

“It’s an honor to serve with you. Not all the troops are so lucky. Not all of the generals are there in the front lines with their men. Not all care whether their men live or die, see them as more than numbers.” Obi-Wan started to respond but his commander uncharacteristically talked over him. “BUT the battle is over now. You two should get some rest.” He nodded to them both before walking away brusquely.

“Neither of you are good to anybody dead,” Rex stated more curtly. “And it’s senseless to survive all of that,” he jerked his chin toward the battlefield, “just to die of exhaustion.”

“Understood, Captain,” Anakin dismissed him with a nod and a crooked smile. “What’s gotten into everybody,” he questioned wryly as the clone saluted and took his leave. “It’s like there was a truth serum in that ale - and it was about as weak as water. Even I’m not feeling anything, but everyone else has been sentimental.

“It’s not anything to do with the liquor, lightweight,” Obi-Wan lightly nudged his elbow into the younger man’s side. “I’m not sure how it looked on your side of things but on ours…it was pretty bleak,” Obi-Wan admitted. “We didn’t expect to break through. Most of the men were prepared that this battle would be their last. Staring down the reality that we might lose was eye opening.” He gave a deep exhale and then cleared his throat before adding on, “or so I would imagine.”

Anakin snorted. “Right.”

“What?”

“Just say it.”

“What? I have no energy left for guessing games.”

“You thought you were going to die,” Anakin’s voice broke at the end. “I did! I’m not ashamed to admit it. Why can’t you acknowledge your feelings, even if you did accept it like the perfect Jedi that you are?”

“Perfect Jedi,” Obi-Wan muttered under his breath. “You can’t be serious.”

The flickering light of the fire threw deep shadows over Anakin’s face, the dark angles rendering it unreadable as he awkwardly turned, still half pressed against the older man’s side, in an effort to look directly into the other’s eyes.

“Yes! Dammit Obi-Wan! I was afraid, alright? I was so afraid. Every hour, every minute, that I couldn’t get to you was an eternity. I knew how bad it was and if I didn’t get there in time you were going to die. I was going to break through and it was going to be too late.”

“Anakin.” The fire reflected in Obi-Wan’s eyes, flames dancing in the shadowy depths of his emotions. “I didn’t accept it.” He turned and they slid together, foreheads touching, looking directly into each other’s eyes. “I didn’t accept that it might be my time. I rejected it with every fiber of my being. I had to make it to you. Anything else was unacceptable.”

Long lashes blinked back at him, plush lips open but silent as the younger man attempted to assimilate the statements into his worldview. They didn’t match the one constant in the universe he could count on: Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“Besides,” Obi-Wan continued, “I knew it couldn’t be my time. Not yet.”

“Why not?” Anakin asked the easiest question of the many all racing through his mind, despite the protests of his dry throat.

“I’m just certain that when I go, it will be with you by my side.”

Obi-Wan’s lips twisted into a sad smile, and Anakin found he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight. He’s never spent so long looking at his master’s lips. Not when they’d passed on patient lessons or the biting words of frustrated rebukes and lectures. Not when they’d planned shared trust and crafted battle plans. Now, chapped and rough and barely visible in the low light of the dying fire, he couldn’t have looked away if he’d tried.

As focused as he was, he didn't miss those lips coming closer to his own — although he couldn’t have said for certain who was responsible for moving them together. All he knew was that when they finally met in a soft kiss he felt a peace unlike anything he had ever known. Obi-Wan drew back and for a long time simply stared into his eyes, searching for answers to the question only he knew the details of. Finally found what he was looking for, bringing their lips together once more and finding they fit together like they were two halves of a whole.

“I’m really, very glad you’re here with me tonight,” Obi-Wan eventually admitted shakily into the breath of space between them.

“Me too.” Anakin closed the space once more, seeking the warmth and reassurance of the other’s presence as the embers died down and darkness grew. The stars were shining above, seemingly only for the two of them to see, and they were both there to see it. Together.